punch archive!

more slapees back nominations: your votes weird ones fuckwits nominate!

Boris Yeltsin He is as drunk as a lord and his ol' ticker has just about given up the ghost. I say we slap the incompetent wanker before he collapses from a heart attack. Or at least help him on the way. Edd_9@hotmail.com george lucas for being a no-good, sell-out, beardie weirdie, megalomaniacal, fooling-us-all- into-thinking-the-phantomn-FUCKING-menace- was-going-to-be-as-good-as-the-hype, spawny bastard. and the film IS shit, ive seen it and i dont care what anyone says. yoda? dont get me started on yoda..... benbridle@hotmail.com Hale and Pace For their 'hilarious' tv shows which I have had to endure for almost my entire adult life, including their excerable new effort 'h&p@bbc'. A slap isn't really enough for the incessant torment they inflict. To think my license fees pay these c-nts wages. silver_josh@hotmail.com Brian Adams He sings like he is squeezing out a turd. kym__rob.h@virgin.net that guy who isnt jeremy clarkson but... ...talks just...LIKE him.by leaving big gaps...in the middle of their SENTENCES.and emphasising words that really don't...need TO be emphasised.and being generally ....very SMUG.listen to me gentlemen...and LOVELY ladies.i'm in a big car...that goes FAST.i wear horrible jeans...and BLAZERS.im on...telly.im a nasty sexist....ARSEHOLE.my hair is the...HAIR of satan.please,why don't you...SLAP me? with pleasure, you cunt. almica The Backstreet Boys These prepubescent, pussy-whipped candy asses are the bubonic plague of radio: life draining and ubiquitous. In the sadly long history of wuss groups these scrawny, androgenous naifs are second only to the new kids on the block in terms of polluting the airwaves with their senseless, pansy- ass, whiny, mewling, pre-packaged, born-in- an-ad-agency SHIT. There's not a high school in America where every last one of these pussies wouldnt get his head flushed down a toilet and the snot beaten out of him every day of the week. Please shrivel up and fade away like the bad fart that you are! Lue Martin/thirdman@helicon.net Rosie O'Donnell She hates guns and wants them outlawed, but she doesn't mind getting tons of money every year from K-Mart, who sell millions of dollars worth of guns and ammo every year. Then there's that voice. hepler@email.unc.edu bobby gould professional twat this man is a cunthead of the highest order and should have been confined to a a rubber room somewhere far away from wales years ago! he single handedly destroyed any respect the world had for the welsh international soccer team and deserves to be scalped! he should be banned from wales and if hes got any sense shave those fuckin eyebrows off so he actually see whats going on. bobby gould you are a twat! jr/thejr@bigfoot.com Jill Dando She's dead and already this normal person doing a normal job is being praised like some sort of messiah of English Culture...it's going to be Diana all over again! Soon there will be public holidays and books of remeberance, and repeats of every shitty show she's ever done all day every day. No more please!!! david/mj394356@stmail.staffs.ac.uk Jeremy Clarkson I hate his voice....... AGGGH make it stop. Does he have to be blind to have a perm in this day and age? Does he have to be catapaulted into those size 8 jeans? samirebrahim@msn.com Phil Collins He is a cunt Poohbear 911, Take 5, OTT, Another Level, etc. How can you seriously sing lyrics like "girl, you really turn me on" when you are not even old enough to shave, let alone have sex....legally. Oh, by the way, 911 cannot cover a half decent song if they tried. They insulted the Bee Gees, and Doctor Hook was crucified (not too difficult there come to think of it!). When will these useless/talentless acts understand that there has already been a Take That. No more pre-pubescent 'boy bands' please. MAGIC/hippynmagic@yahoo.com Milosovic As that Belgrade commentator said, 70% of Serbians hate him, having him as a slap target will not only give us Westerners an outlet for our frustrations against him, but a safe outlet for Serbians who hate him too, what else can they do.....I can't think of anyone else more deserving at the moment...... louis.minson@diamond.co.uk John Howard PM of Oz industrial relations uranium mining toxic waste dumps indigenous australians youth wages work for the dole woodchipping monarchism militarism and now the stupid prick is reserving the right to pen the preamble to our new constitution that he doesn't even want jacobgrech@earthling.net Gary Rhodes For his arse-hole advert, where he makes such cullinary delights as a toffee-basted turkey, and then makes a 'MMMMMmmmmmmmmmm' noise after he tastes them. It is a bunch of arse, and I'd like to slap him one for it. John 'Badger' Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson That awful song. About the wide-eyed wanderer. From Aladdin. Oh, the horror. Yeah, okay, so it was a long time ago, but mere years can't heal that kind of psychological damage. Also, they are the only annoying singers who don't make good drinking songs. Like, the Spice Girls are *great* to sing drunk. nancyh@princeton.edu Vanessa Feltz Fat ugly cow with no talent. Her programs are as much fun as sitting down to a meal with Michael Portillo and William Hague and discussing politics. Is that a good enough reason, huh philipr@nichollshome59.freeserve.co.uk Princess Diana Bringing shame to Wales by being Princess of it. People might well have associated those sterling qualities of hers with the Principality[N.B for any nationalistic freaks it's not a separate nation state]-namely being thick,being a manipulative cow, having no morals, being a slut and pissing everyone off by being on the news cuddling some kid just so that everyone goes"Ahhhh. Isn't she lovely and caring etc. etc.etc.". Also for dying and taking up all the newspapers and T.V. news for days and introducing the prefix "people's" into the language. dafydd.thomas@ucl.ac.uk the premier mr Olsen this state has turned to shit ever since this man has taken power with the liberal party. I do not know what else this party can do wrong? All they seem to be interested in is giving themselves huge payrises. smilla_9@hotmail.com Members Of The KKK Ignorant, Asshole, Bastards...that's three words that describe those judging pricks. I'd love to kick the shit out of those white, trailor trash, sly grinning mother- fuckers. They all deserve to get the piss beat out of them and I'd LOVE to do it. I hope all the cone-head's rot in the dark pits of hell where they belong. jenwinsor@hotmail.com Cyril the Swan I'm not into slapping birds around but this is an exception. robert@ekal.freeserve.co.uk Keith Hellawell AND Frank Dobson The Drugs Tsar had such a chance to make a difference to so many people out there and he fucked it up for all of us. Slap him in the face and rip off his 'tauche. I hate him with a passion. As for Frank Fuckwit Dobson... same reason! Because of him, thousands of MS sufferers are in pain. And what a nice pink round rosy face for slapping..... Tristan_White@rocketmail.com BILLIE Just look at her!! The fucking bimbo. My shit has more brains and better opinions than her. Her attempts at appearing to be a serious musical talent failed when she plopped out of her fat slag of a mums muff. Oh, yeah. Her music is total wank that only pissy little 14 year old girls with no brains spend their cash on. Somebody kill her before I go mental. sa9dav_j@bournemouthandpoole/cfe.ac.uk STEPS and Pete Waterman, the fuckers. These people should not only be beaten senseless to within an inch of their godforsaken lives, but made to have the general public PARK THEIR BIKES IN THE CRACKS OF THEIR ARSEHOLES. Please give us a 'park your bike in the crack of a bastard's arsehole' page as a little slap just doesn't seem enough for some of these tiresome shits. Waterman must be ritually humiliated 'cos he's a fat old cunt face who couldn't write a good song to save his fucking life, yet amazingly he gets richer still from the naiivity of pre pubescent girls and their desire to squander what little money they recieve from their unaware parents on mind numbingly STUPID fucking PAP MUSIC. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH DEATH TO THE FUCKING BASTARD CUNTS. anthony.gray@ntli.net ken starr that leering, drooling hypocrite took $60 mil of my hard-earned bucks (and mah fellow mericans' bucks, too) - for what??? boring weeks and months of a trial that couldn't HOPE to be resolved? smack him upside the head - big or little - as hard as you can! sqanga@idiom.com Linda Tripp This hideous bitch makes Camilla Parker Bowles look like Cindy Crawford. She has a face reminiscent of freshly-laid dog shit. I hope she's convicted of illegally taping her phone conversations with Monica....she should be sentenced to wear a bag over her head for the rest of her life. An acid enema might do her some good also. darkshaddo@aol.com Vanessa Feltz She takes three times the TV space. The only way she can get a program on the air is to hire in actors to play the part of sad muppets with a sexual deviant problem. paul.vinci@felixfly.freeserve.co.uk Monica Lewinsky Her crockodile tears spilling from lowered lids in an attempt to gain pity didn't fool me. She chose to destroy a family life in order grab the worlds attention. She deserves a kick in the fat butt (can you do that?) blahana@globalserve.net Jerry Springer I'm so tired of seeing this asshole bring people to his show to supposedly help them and then laugh his ass off while they beat the shit out of each other.His ratings go up the more the punches fly.Let's smack him around for a while. scoop6698@yahoo.com Mike Harris The one single person in Canada that everyone is ashamed of. Why would we even call him a Canadian when he hurts people by cutting education and health care. For **** sakes Mike you deserve a cruel beating for cutting back what we are really proud of in Canada... OUR HEALTH CARE! .....lazy dick ass mofo... Sereina/sereina@geocities.com Mike Harris (Ontario Canada) Mike Harris has fucked up education making it difficult for children to get a good education. Mike Harris for the health cuts that hurt the elderly. Mike Harris for social cuts which leave homeless on the streets to fucking die right out side his window and he looks the other way. Mike Harris for all the hardships he has put on people in Ontaio Canada. players8@hotmail.com Jennifer Love Hewitt She's so damn perky and annoying. And the album she put out? Good Lord! I've heard mutes sound better than her. mcelesky@hotmail.com cell phone shitheads that drive and talk one of those bastards hit me when he ran a red light. We should more than slap them, we should fry the motherfuckers!!!!! miticdu@mail.stoughton.k12.wi .us B*witched They produce shite music, especially that bloody piece of crap they entitled "Rollercoaster", yet they still manage to fit in all those Saturday morning shows, as if they're popular. Iceland and Ireland seem to be the spawnspots for arse pop groups, such as Boyzone and (get a bucket) that ugly freaky bitch Bjork, but these stupid Teletubby-lovers are definitely the ones I WANT PUNCHED DEAD, the pieces of Irish shit. Adam afw@dial.pipex.com Margaret Thatcher So, has some ugly old bitch tarted up England with her bloody Poll Taxes that even poor and hungry people on the streets have to pay? Huh?!? Yup, and that's Margaret Thatcher. Women's rights, eh? Not for this boring ol' waste of bloody money. Hit the false teeth out of her wrinkled gob! Adam afw@dial.pipex.com The Brady Bunch Illiterate twats Jesus Christ! learn to spell why don't you? In case you didn't realise we speak English...remember that? I am sick to death of hearing ridiculous and lazy abbreviations (boyfriend=boyf U=you and so on). Whatever happened to the days when teachers actually taught something? When people actually knew what grammar was? Last year my English teacher couldn't even spell prejudice on the blackboard. Why the hell are taxpayers forking out for you when you don't even perform your job? And another thing, why do people think that using a string of expletives such as " 'cos he's a fuckin' bastard" is clever? I can't argue with logic like that. Casting agents for American TV/film/music all deserve a big punch in the face too. I wasn't aware that if you are a young woman, approximately six feet tall and four stone, you are also a very talented actor. Ever noticed that many 'actresses' are ex-models? And has it also occurred to you that it does not matter if you are a fat ugly bastard if you are a man? I am sick to death of turning on the TV to see yet another malnourished bimbo who looks like she will die from shock because she hasn't eaten for three days. Even England is turning that way, losing its fine heritage for talent. And finally, people who call themselves Christians. Why is it that these people are the most un- christian of all? The church is traditionally a sexist, racist, corrupt institution, totally arrogant in assuming that their particular belief system is correct (this goes for all religions). I am sick of you hypocritical, self-serving arseholes who preach and patronise me. Get a life! Do something constructive! Make a difference without causing yet another war! Tat Want more? Click here or nominate you own slapee!

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