# School Assemblies



## nagapie (Jan 24, 2012)

I hate having to do them. I have been given the topic of the Olympics to do one with with my form. My form are a really sweet bunch of kids but extremely passive. Someone give me some good ideas...please.


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## DotCommunist (Jan 24, 2012)

throw javelins at them


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## no-no (Jan 24, 2012)

Would you get in trouble for teaching them about how the spirit of the games has been corrupted by greed?


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## equationgirl (Jan 24, 2012)

A brief history of the games? Some could narrate and some could act out notable events in Olympic history. How'll you'll cover the 1936 Berlin Olympics might take some creativity mind, although could be presented in terms of discrimination (and how naughty that was). Obligatory coloured hula-hoops making the Olympic logo of course.


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## nagapie (Jan 24, 2012)

no-no said:


> Would you get in trouble for teaching them about how the spirit of the games has been corrupted by greed?



I've got those sorts of ideas but it's fitting them into a 10minute assembly in a creative and fun way. Mostly kids in assemblies are bored and just waiting for people to stop talking at them.


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## equationgirl (Jan 24, 2012)

What about a 'horrible histories' take on the games?


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## Mrs Magpie (Jan 24, 2012)

I love doing assemblies. Do one on the paralympics.


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## Mrs Magpie (Jan 24, 2012)

nagapie said:


> I've got those sorts of ideas but it's fitting them into a 10minute assembly in a creative and fun way. Mostly kids in assemblies are bored and just waiting for people to stop talking at them.


I get a whole 20 minutes!


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## Mrs Magpie (Jan 24, 2012)

...and kids come up to me and say "I really liked your assembly"


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## wayward bob (Jan 24, 2012)

our kids assemblies are fucking awesome. parents get to come along once a year/term/i forget which  it means a lot to us and the kids who get to watch each others'. sorry if it's hard work as a teacher but i know our kids get a hell of a lot out of them


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## nagapie (Jan 24, 2012)

Mrs Magpie said:


> ...and kids come up to me and say "I really liked your assembly"



That's why I'm asking here. Ideas please, Mrs Magpie. You can pm 'em if they're top showbiz secrets.


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## Mrs Magpie (Jan 24, 2012)

If I had to do one on the Olympics with kids I'd have the class slow-mo-ing across the stage to Chariots of Fire. It'd be a laugh....


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## nagapie (Jan 24, 2012)

wayward bob said:


> our kids assemblies are fucking awesome. parents get to come along once a year/term/i forget which  it means a lot to us and the kids who get to watch each others'. sorry if it's hard work as a teacher but i know our kids get a hell of a lot out of them



It's not that sort of assembly, it's boring weekly assembly. End of term assemblies are a different matter with all sorts of fun stuff.


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## Maurice Picarda (Jan 24, 2012)

It sucks for the parents though.


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## wayward bob (Jan 24, 2012)

nagapie said:


> It's not that sort of assembly, it's boring weekly assembly. End of term assemblies are a different matter with all sorts of fun stuff.



which age group?


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## nagapie (Jan 24, 2012)

wayward bob said:


> which age group?



11-16.

Thing is a good assembly is fantastic but they just rarely are, the weekly ones I'm talking about again.


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## wayward bob (Jan 24, 2012)

fair point i don't remember secondary assemblies being anything like as fun as primary ones


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## DotCommunist (Jan 24, 2012)

equationgirl said:


> What about a 'horrible histories' take on the games?



Fuck yes, she could cover the palestinian liberation terrorists Black September's atrocity against the Israeli athletes and how this alongside Rote Armee Faktion naughtiness led to modern european counter insurgency as we know it.

Fucking A


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## Mrs Magpie (Jan 24, 2012)

nagapie said:


> That's why I'm asking here. Ideas please, Mrs Magpie. You can pm 'em if they're top showbiz secrets.


My best laugh was when I did one about bees and was able to say "RELEASE THE BEES!" and very enthusiastic year 7s charged around to Flight of the Bumble Bee. It was full of bee facts too which the kids read with loads of zzzzzz


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## equationgirl (Jan 24, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> Fuck yes, she could cover the Black September's atrocity against the Israeli athletes and how this alongside Rote Armee Faktion led to modern european counter insurgency as we know it.
> 
> Fucking A


Kids would like that


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## punchdrunkme (Jan 24, 2012)

Mrs Magpie said:


> If I had to do one on the Olympics with kids I'd have the class slow-mo-ing across the stage to Chariots of Fire. It'd be a laugh....



thats exactly the vision i had in my head


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## equationgirl (Jan 24, 2012)

Plus Hitler plus bombing of one of the ones in the US - sorted.

Not politically correct though (and I wouldn't want nagapie to get the sack).


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## DotCommunist (Jan 24, 2012)

Chuck in the heartwarming symbolic act of the black power salute by the US runners made when segregation was still in force, win all round.


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## Mrs Magpie (Jan 24, 2012)

OK, slo-mo running. Then talk about the 1948 games when it was really an Austerity Olympics but a celebration after WWII but was really full of Olympic Spirit. I'm sure you could find a Triumph Against Adversity competitor to represent that.


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## Mrs Magpie (Jan 24, 2012)

....or feature Eddie the Eagle or the swimmer that wasn't that good but everyone loved.


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## DotCommunist (Jan 24, 2012)

The disabled haitian runner who is aiming to compete in the paralympcs. Lost his family and leg in the quakes.

google it. It was the 'and fina;ly' on the news yesterday and made even my stony heart admire his olympian strength


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## nagapie (Jan 24, 2012)

If it moved DotCommunist, I might check it out. It might even move a cynic like me.

I like the Eddie the Eagle idea too, it's the taking part not the winning...etc.


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## nagapie (Jan 24, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> The disabled haitian runner who is aiming to compete in the paralympcs. Lost his family and leg in the quakes.
> 
> google it. It was the 'and fina;ly' on the news yesterday and made even my stony heart admire his olympian strength



Link please. Can't find it.


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## DotCommunist (Jan 24, 2012)

http://www.surreycomet.co.uk/news/9369873.Haitian_s_Paralympic_dream_moves_closer/

theres more linkies. I googled 'haitian paralympic hopeful' and this was number two, but there were more sources

e2a



> Leon Gaysil was paralysed after sustaining spinal cord injuries in the January 2010 disaster, in which he lost his wife and eight children.
> He was treated at the Haiti Hospital Appeal, whose Kingston founder Carwyn Hill aims to send a Haitian team to London 2012 to combat the stigma of disability in the Caribbean country.


 
It's the true spirit of the games


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## StoneRoad (Jan 24, 2012)

jamacian bobsleigh team???


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## quimcunx (Jan 24, 2012)

something lovely about sweatshops from the playfair school pack.

get some on stage to make trainers and sexually harrass them when they're not quick enough.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 24, 2012)

Mrs Magpie said:


> ....or feature Eddie the Eagle or the swimmer that wasn't that good but everyone loved.



Eric the Eel


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## Ceej (Jan 24, 2012)

StoneRoad said:


> jamacian bobsleigh team???



I ws going to say that!


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## colacubes (Jan 24, 2012)

Mrs Magpie said:


> OK, slo-mo running. Then talk about the 1948 games when it was really an Austerity Olympics but a celebration after WWII but was really full of Olympic Spirit. I'm sure you could find a Triumph Against Adversity competitor to represent that.



Also (not sure whether you're a south Londoner nagapie), but if you are you could talk a bit about the Herne Hill velodrome and having an old olympic venue right on the doorstep


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## nagapie (Jan 25, 2012)

quimcunx said:


> something lovely about sweatshops from the playfair school pack.
> 
> get some on stage to make trainers and sexually harrass them when they're not quick enough.



Seen that done as a lesson. It's awesome.


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## nagapie (Jan 25, 2012)

Mr nags also said Jamaican bobsleigh team and velodrome, especially as he uses the Velodrome (I'm in Brixton, nipsla). I think I have a lot to go on, once I am over this hideous flu I've got I'll pitch some ideas to my form and see if they run with any.


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## Mr Moose (Jan 25, 2012)

Maurice Picarda said:


> It sucks for the parents though.



It sucks a big biggie for parents. I'm all in for school concerts, parents evenings and I've volunteered for loads of trips. I entered into a whole new dimension of tedium when attending assembly. I had to reach a transcendental place just to survive.


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## Winot (Mar 2, 2012)

Mrs Magpie said:


> If I had to do one on the Olympics with kids I'd have the class slow-mo-ing across the stage to Chariots of Fire. It'd be a laugh....



A Year 2 class in my daughter's school (King's Avenue) did exactly that this week!  Does someone there read Urban I wonder?


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## Mrs Magpie (Mar 2, 2012)

It is quite a well worn joke, the Chariots Of Fire slow motion imitation. As Bea Clissold has often said, "Many times, many many times."


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## Winot (Mar 3, 2012)

Assembly report (not her class): 

"3S shared their scientific knowledge of solids, liquids and gases very creatively through the medium of dance."


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## _angel_ (Mar 3, 2012)

What are you all talking about?


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## murdok (Mar 3, 2012)

As someone who was mocked as a child for looking like Eddie the Eagle (and also sharing his name) I would implore you not to put another child through my pain


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## Mrs Magpie (Mar 4, 2012)

murdok said:


> As someone who was mocked as a child for looking like Eddie the Eagle (and also sharing his name) I would implore you not to put another child through my pain


 They forced you to do a ski-jump over the heads of assembled kids in the hall?


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## Hocus Eye. (Mar 4, 2012)

Whatever you do, don't say anything negative about the Olympics. Cameron could have you arrested, charged with being unpatriotic  and thrown in the Tower of London at the pleasure of Her Majesty the Queen. She would leave you there for years until she decides to visit you in her dotage and ask you "What did you do."

As you can see I have nothing constructive to say about an Olympic assembly.


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## Termite Man (Mar 4, 2012)

Surely the Jamaican bob-sleigh and Eddie the Eagle are the wrong Olympics


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## nagapie (Mar 4, 2012)

Hocus Eye. said:


> Whatever you do, don't say anything negative about the Olympics. Cameron could have you arrested, charged with being unpatriotic  and thrown in the Tower of London at the pleasure of Her Majesty the Queen. She would leave you there for years until she decides to visit you in her dotage and ask you "What did you do."
> 
> As you can see I have nothing constructive to say about an Olympic assembly.


 
We are on the Tuesday after this. As it was left to me to choose the idea, we are doing 'What has the olympics done for you' We will discuss how much it will cost despite how many of us are affected by cuts, how none of us have tickets and how we're paying tax but not the Olympic organisation etc. etc. Probably go down like a lead balloon, but if they don't like it then don't force me to do assemblies.


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## Ms Ordinary (Mar 4, 2012)

nagapie said:


> We are on the Tuesday after this. As it was left to me to choose the idea, we are doing 'What has the olympics done for you' We will discuss how much it will cost despite how many of us are affected by cuts, how none of us have tickets and how we're paying tax but not the Olympic organisation etc. etc. Probably go down like a lead balloon, but if they don't like it then don't force me to do assemblies.


 
Absolutely loving this, especially if you teach reception .

(I'm pretty sure you don't).


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## Termite Man (Mar 4, 2012)

nagapie said:


> We are on the Tuesday after this. As it was left to me to choose the idea, we are doing 'What has the olympics done for you' We will discuss how much it will cost despite how many of us are affected by cuts, how none of us have tickets and how we're paying tax but not the Olympic organisation etc. etc. Probably go down like a lead balloon, but if they don't like it then don't force me to do assemblies.


If you really don't want to do any more assemblies then the only way to finish your assembly is to burn an effigy of Sebastian Coe.


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## Hocus Eye. (Mar 4, 2012)

nagapie said:


> We are on the Tuesday after this. As it was left to me to choose the idea, we are doing 'What has the olympics done for you' We will discuss how much it will cost despite how many of us are affected by cuts, how none of us have tickets and how we're paying tax but not the Olympic organisation etc. etc. Probably go down like a lead balloon, but if they don't like it then don't force me to do assemblies.


Well done, you might have a bit of support from any of the non-sports inclined kids with this. What new career will you take up after you are released from prison and of course your current job? 

By the way, if this assembly counts as one of the token "broadly Christian" religious assemblies as required for schools to hold by law, then not only can they not require you to take it but you also may absent yourself from it. Check this with your union rep first though as I may be out of date.


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## nagapie (Mar 4, 2012)

I work for a Church of England school so I think I have signed a contract that says I will support the Christian ethos. There is a prayer at the end but my input doesn't have to have anything religious about it. Otherwise it would have to be another subversion assembly on what has religion done for us.


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## Winot (Mar 5, 2012)

nagapie said:


> I work for a Church of England school so I think I have signed a contract that says I will support the Christian ethos.


 
In which case you should really subvert the Olympics message and base your assembly on Matthew 20:16 - “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”


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