# Alan Partridge: The Movie



## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

Written by Steve Coogan and Armando Iannucci, should be good. First heard rumours of this about 10 years ago but now it is actually being made. 

It _could_ be great.


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## Ax^ (Feb 26, 2013)

would be amusing if Courtney Love made an appearence


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

saniflow 37


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## Stigmata (Feb 26, 2013)

Can we start quoting Partridge again please?

Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot ham


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> Can we start quoting Partridge again please?
> 
> Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot ham


one of my all time favourites.

"but alan, you'd slice through her like butter".

"oh but what *lovely* butter"


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## moochedit (Feb 26, 2013)

jurassic park


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> Can we start quoting Partridge again please?
> 
> Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot ham


it's his mouth when he is saying it that makes it so funny.

or that bit when he forgets what chrisps he's had. what was it? (three min silence)...


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

Castrol GTX Motor Oil jacket at a funeral.


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)




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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

inception....no...inception...no...three adults....................................................inception....no....inception....(quivery voice) no


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

when he goes to stab lynn and she man handles him "it's a joke knife lyn, a joke knife!"


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

never trust anyone who doesn't like a) alan partridge and or b) bob dylan.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 26, 2013)

lynne, I've got my foot impaled on a spike


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> lynne, I've got my foot impaled on a spike


got that camera out of my face mate, i've lost a pint of blood


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## Kid_Eternity (Feb 26, 2013)

Really want it to be great but not expecting it too tbh...


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## Santino (Feb 26, 2013)

wheeeeeelchairs


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

thought the ten minute foster's things were the best yet


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

go down the agency, lyn, and tell them i want a 40 year old scorcher.


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

MillwallShoes said:


> go down the agency, lyn, and tell them i want a 40 year old scorcher.


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

partridge you *WANKER*


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

have you got a brain or is your head just full of shi (puts the phone down)
"sophie, from ipswich, hello" ohhhh you ignorant cunt (puts the phone down)


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## Santino (Feb 26, 2013)

COOK PASS BABTRIDGE


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## DotCommunist (Feb 26, 2013)

MillwallShoes said:


> thought the ten minute foster's things were the best yet


 

mid morning matters


the thing for the norfolk tourist board was also bare lols


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

jesus christ!, he's reversing up the slip road!


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## Part 2 (Feb 26, 2013)

"It's menial work!"


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

are you hairy, mary?


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

teh most quotable comedy show ever?

the best ever, imo. although bold statement i know.

it's always sunny in philadelphia (on netflix at the mo) came close at times.


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## fogbat (Feb 26, 2013)

Lynne, these are _sex people! _


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## DotCommunist (Feb 26, 2013)




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## lizzieloo (Feb 26, 2013)




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## neonwilderness (Feb 26, 2013)

There's no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I am not driving a Mini-Metro


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

You know if King Arthur had an extending table it would have been a very different story. Well it wouldn't have been round.


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

Flushed on the first yank!


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## Stigmata (Feb 26, 2013)

Feels more Coogan than Partridge, this one


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## joustmaster (Feb 26, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> lynne, I've got my foot impaled on a spike


After she tells him to pull it off in one go, he replies "all the blood will run out, you old mess."


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## Gingerman (Feb 26, 2013)

Do you know what this bathroom says to me? Aqua. Which is French for water. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint. Which, again, to me is a bonus

This chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little babe can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Earlier on I put in a pound of mashed up Dundee cake, let's take a look...not a trace! Peace of mind I'm sure, especially if you have elderly relatives on board.

Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them

If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plow the family into the soil, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who is also your brother

Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you just think 'Sunday, bloody Sunday!


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

Gingerman said:


> Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you just think 'Sunday, bloody Sunday!


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## joustmaster (Feb 26, 2013)

Has anyone ever ordered a round of lady boys?


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

I Am sorry, Michael, that was just noise.


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## eatmorecheese (Feb 26, 2013)

Please don't do that, lieutenant colonel Kojak slap-head the third...


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## eatmorecheese (Feb 26, 2013)

I don't want to alarm you Lynn, but I HAVE popped out again...


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## Gingerman (Feb 26, 2013)

Big Yellow Taxi there by Joni Mitchell, a song in which she complains that they 'paved paradise to put up a parking lot' - a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise. Something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song.


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## Gingerman (Feb 26, 2013)

eatmorecheese said:


> I don't want to alarm you Lynn, but I HAVE popped out again...


 *That wasn’t deliberate, I promise you. It’s not a cry for help. I’ve had these shorts since 1982. They did have an underpant lining, but it’s perished. They’ve taken a bit of a pounding over the years.*


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## Favelado (Feb 26, 2013)

"Seve Ballesteros. The Bullfighter, that's what I call him although, er, technically he's a professional golfer. Friend of mine said recently, "What do you get if you cross a ballerina with a bastard?" "Ballesteros!" was his answer. I guess, if you analyse it, that Seve combines the qualities of both those animals. He has the lithe sophistication and nimbleness of a ballerina, combined with the hard-nosed, ruthless thuggery of a bastard."


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

firky said:


> I Am sorry, Michael, that was just noise.


love it when michael then repeats himself and partridge just says, "what?" with a frown on his face ha ha


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## neonwilderness (Feb 26, 2013)

I've got a scam going on with a 12 inch plate


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 26, 2013)

I'M LEAVING YOU YOU COW


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## Gingerman (Feb 26, 2013)

neonwilderness said:


> I've got a scam going on with a 12 inch plate


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## Firky (Feb 26, 2013)

MillwallShoes said:


> love it when michael then repeats himself and partridge just says, "what?" with a frown on his face ha ha


 
I used to get a lot of that myself when I lived down south. Took me a bit to cotton on they were aping Alan Partridge


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## Stigmata (Feb 26, 2013)

If you are gay, please remember, 'rubber up'.


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## danski (Feb 26, 2013)

lizzieloo said:


>


 

hmm, I get that one quite a bit


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## xenon (Feb 26, 2013)

Dan! Dan! Dan!


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## xenon (Feb 26, 2013)

Anyone listened to the I Partrridge audiobook? Read in character.


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## Firky (Feb 27, 2013)

xenon said:


> Anyone listened to the I Partrridge audiobook? Read in character.


 
No but it is going on the DL list.


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## xenon (Feb 27, 2013)

firky said:


> No but it is going on the DL list.



Starts off slow and obviously a bit contrived as it's filling in his back story. But as it goes on you get stuff like him giving his perspective on incidents we've seen in the TV shows, it has more comic impact.

That's just basic.


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## Gingerman (Feb 27, 2013)

Wings...They're only the band the Beatles could have been.

Lynn's a good worker, but she's a bit like Bert Reynolds. Very reliable, but she's got a moustache. Bit like ladyboys. Looks like a woman, but really it's a man. I mean, I don't find them attractive, just confusing

There is a schoolboy humour that surrounds bodily functions and I don't think there should be. I am very happy to say that I try to maintain a healthy anus. I am largely successful. There is the odd mishap but the law of averages is you are not going to get it right every time.

God created Adam and Eve. He didn't create Adam and Steve


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## Gingerman (Feb 27, 2013)

Lynn I've pierced me foot on a SPAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEKE


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## MillwallShoes (Feb 27, 2013)

I'll _be_ your friend.


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## Ted Striker (Feb 27, 2013)

Sunday bloody sunday


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## spanglechick (Feb 27, 2013)

firky said:


> Written by Steve Coogan and Armando Iannucci, should be good. First heard rumours of this about 10 years ago but now it is actually being made.
> 
> It _could_ be great.


Wonder if they'll pitch it to the US market like Borat? Coogan has some profile...


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## joustmaster (Feb 27, 2013)

Stop getting bond wrong


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## The39thStep (Feb 27, 2013)

MillwallShoes said:


> never trust anyone who doesn't like a) alan partridge and or b) bob dylan.


 
Never trust anyone who likes Bob Dylan in my book .Although having said that i did like Universal Soldier


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## Stigmata (Feb 27, 2013)

It's great to see the deaf catered for by these real characters in anoraks


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## nastybobby (Feb 27, 2013)

Your hand is about 30 mil from my gland and if I was dressed on the other side it would be in contact, your little finger just touched it.


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## Ted Striker (Feb 27, 2013)

And duck and fire and duck and fire


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## joustmaster (Feb 27, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> And duck and fire and duck and fire


move.


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## Ted Striker (Feb 27, 2013)

The shame!


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## Gerry1time (Feb 27, 2013)

The thing that get me is that even though the character's been around for 20 odd years now, the whole thing fits together so perfectly, as if he'd planned his rise and fall right from the start.

The later Partridge is essential watching when I'm feeling blue, but his sports commentary on The Day Today has to be one of my favourites too. Immensely well observed pastiche of a former local journalist completely out of his depth.

"Alan, either you've just lost a fight with a fire engine, or it's raining it's arse off out there"


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## tommers (Feb 27, 2013)

Who were those prostitutes? They were very nice.

Eh? What? You can't say that, they're guests! You can't say that!

But they look like prostitutes!

Well yes, but you can't say that.


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## stavros (Feb 27, 2013)

"This does contain some flashing images, so if they're any epileptics here, please leave now. Because statistically one of you is,.... and three of you are gay. And if you are, make sure you rubber up, because at your age it's still illegal and you don't want to go to prison. Some of the guys in there don't care how old you are,.... or if you're gay."


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## albionism (Feb 28, 2013)

"his trousers were so far down his backside you _*could practically see his anus*_'


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## albionism (Feb 28, 2013)

"I've seen the big eared boys on farms"


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## albionism (Feb 28, 2013)

"People with eyebrows on their cheeks"


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## Gingerman (Feb 28, 2013)

SMELL MY CHEESE YOU MOTHER!!

Alan: A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons?
Tony: What's that?
Alan: Well, it's just a title, I mean...erm, well, no, erm, opening sequence, me, in Trafalger Square, feeding the pigeons going, "Oh God!"
Tony: No, I'm sorry, no! Stop!

I once ran over a fox once, the thing was it wasn't quite dead so i had to go back and finish it off with the jack, the time is 8:52.....


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## Gingerman (Feb 28, 2013)

Der's more to Oireland.. dan dis


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## Gerry1time (Feb 28, 2013)

Anyone remember Gareth Cheeseman? I always thought he was closely related to Partridge, his social awkwardness mixed with Coogan's self confidence.


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## stavros (Feb 28, 2013)

Susan: "Alan, did you send Sophie and Valentine's card?"
Alan: "Me? God no - I'm old enough to be her father. Or her older brother at least. Either way it's incest."


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## stavros (Feb 28, 2013)

Who invented the skip?


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## Santino (Feb 28, 2013)

And later we'll be talking to Norfolk's youngest butcher.


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## stavros (Mar 1, 2013)

Hi, Susan, it's Alan. I was a bit bored, so I dismantled my Corby trouser press....


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## stavros (Mar 2, 2013)

"You might find some superficial to the box, but the chocolate is perfectly edible. I give them [Tery's Chocolate Orange for Valentine's Day] to all ladies I know aged fifty and under. Over fifty just seems sarcastic."


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## Stigmata (Mar 5, 2013)

"Well it's a nickname, isn't it, for ball bag? This is Enya with Orinoco Flow..."


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## Onslow (Mar 6, 2013)

"In 1983 I developed a robust disklike for the gay community, but all that changed when I met Dale Winton. I realised I had nothing to worry about. The man was a perfect gentleman. But if you told me 25 years ago that I would be talking about rigid inflatable holes with Dale Winton I would probably have spat at you"


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## Onslow (Mar 6, 2013)

"This...wine...tastes....like...........CHEWITS!"


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## MillwallShoes (Mar 6, 2013)

stavros said:


> Hi, Susan, it's Alan. I was a bit bored, so I dismantled my Corby trouser press....


not in that drawer!


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## Santino (Mar 6, 2013)

Tell you what, tell you what, it's nine and half thousand pounds.


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## neonwilderness (Mar 6, 2013)

It's alright. No, it's alright, I was just portraying a madman.


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## Gingerman (Mar 6, 2013)

The more I learn about Hitler the more I dislike him,he was mad....


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## MillwallShoes (Mar 6, 2013)

me and wife often name "partridigisms", even if he has never said them. like "hot" for some reason is a more of a patridgisim than "cold".

or like "thick jumper" is more than "clean shoes".  just something in the sound of it. any other partridigisms that alan hasn't actually said?


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## stavros (Mar 6, 2013)

Alan: "I loved that phrase you used, 'Revoultion, not evolution'."
Hayers: "No, it was 'Evolution, not revolution'."
Alan: "Well that's me, because I evolve, I don't revolve."


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## Gingerman (Mar 6, 2013)

We have a caller on the line who fears he may be a gay, he's married so we'll only refer to him by his christian name. This is Domingo from little Oakley.

I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. But a happy one

Oooh scary Irish men. Would you like to recruit me? I like your berets. They're worn by Saddam Hussain, Frank Spencer, the French

Have any of you seen the film The Crying Game? With the woman with the old tadger. I suppose the sequel will have a man with, a fanny.


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## Stigmata (Mar 6, 2013)

Onslow said:


> "In 1983 I developed a robust disklike for the gay community, but all that changed when I met Dale Winton. I realised I had nothing to worry about. The man was a perfect gentleman. But if you told me 25 years ago that I would be talking about rigid inflatable holes with Dale Winton I would probably have spat at you"


 
Rigid inflatable hulls! Stop getting Partridge wrong!!


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## joustmaster (Mar 15, 2013)

Oh no.
I think it might be shit


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## mwgdrwg (Mar 15, 2013)

Is the lighting and the constantly moving camera meant to be shit?


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## Gerry1time (Mar 15, 2013)

Hmm, he looks far more like Steve Coogan than Partridge in that trailer. I can only reassure myself with the thought that Patridge has never been bad before at any point ever (apart from the stage tour in the late 2000's, 2009 perhaps?), so this one can't be bad either.

Although come to think of it, perhaps statistically speaking, a shit one had to come along sooner or later.


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## Throbbing Angel (Mar 15, 2013)

I just hope he say 'Cashback!'


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## Stigmata (Mar 15, 2013)

Michael had best be in it like


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## Firky (Mar 15, 2013)

joustmaster said:


> Oh no.
> I think it might be shit


 
Do I want to watch it?


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## Stigmata (Mar 15, 2013)

Alan Partridge is always solid gold come Comic Relief


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## stavros (Mar 15, 2013)

Does anyone know if you have to have seen his more recent Sky show to get the film narrative? I've seen nothing of him since the second series of IAP.


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## OneStrike (Mar 15, 2013)

I doubt it stavros, the recent things shown on sky and his audio book didn't really teach us any game changers about the great man, just added some old and knew scenarios of Alan being Alan.


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## DexterTCN (Mar 15, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> Alan Partridge is always solid gold come Comic Relief
> ...


So's Frankie Boyle.


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## thriller (Mar 16, 2013)

joustmaster said:


> Oh no.
> I think it might be shit




worst. teaser. ever.


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## ska invita (Mar 16, 2013)

admittedly watched it at 5 this morning but i laughed a few times - looks good to me - but im used to disappointment


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## Firky (Mar 18, 2013)

Leprechauns, shamrock, Guinness, horses running through council estates, toothless simpletons, people with eyebrows on their cheeks, badly tarmacced drives – in this country, men in platform shoes being arrested for bombings, lots of rocks, and Beamish.


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## Balbi (Jun 13, 2013)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/film...artridge-alpha-papa-new-trailer?commentpage=2

Main trailer's out.


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## Stigmata (Jun 13, 2013)

Ok that was quite funny


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## Balbi (Jun 13, 2013)

There's a touch of the Tony Blair's I hadn't noticed before - in the bit where Chief O'Brien calls him his 'partner in crime' and the 'come on now, we're better than that'


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 13, 2013)

I enjoyed that trailer.

I love Alan.


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## joustmaster (Jun 16, 2013)

I really hope it isn't a load of bollocks.


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## 8ball (Jun 16, 2013)

Unless the reviews indicate its absolute gak I'll be going along to see this - seems to have been fuck all out in the way of decent films for ages.


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## ska invita (Jun 16, 2013)

Firky said:


> Written by Steve Coogan and Armando Iannucci, should be good. First heard rumours of this about 10 years ago but now it is actually being made.
> 
> It _could_ be great.


 
if this doesnt get an oscar nomination for Best Costume Design theres no justice in the world


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## _pH_ (Jun 16, 2013)

I watched the trailer and felt that Steve Coogan has spent too much time in Hollywood. Alan seems too confident, not tragic enough. We'll see.


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## Gerry1time (Jun 16, 2013)

_pH_ said:


> I watched the trailer and felt that Steve Coogan has spent too much time in Hollywood. Alan seems too confident, not tragic enough. We'll see.


 
I know what you mean, but I suspect it's all part of the same narrative where he's now bounced back. Needless to say, he's having the last laugh.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 16, 2013)

_pH_ said:


> I watched the trailer and felt that Steve Coogan has spent too much time in Hollywood. Alan seems too confident, not tragic enough. We'll see.


 

would that not display verisimilitude though? Alans been around for a while now. A legend in the d list tv people circuit. Like noel edmunds.


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## BipsonPressure (Jun 16, 2013)

MillwallShoes said:


> when he goes to stab lynn and she man handles him "it's a joke knife lyn, a joke knife!"


 

'It's funnier than rain!'


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## BipsonPressure (Jun 16, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


>





'Have you got anymore of this, or do you want to stop at quacking plums?'


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## fieryjack (Jun 22, 2013)

joustmaster said:


> I really hope it isn't a load of bollocks.


 
it's definitely not, provided they don't muck up the edit.


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## Stigmata (Jun 22, 2013)

fieryjack said:


> it's definitely not, provided they don't muck up the edit.


 
Yeah i've heard good things from my close friend, Neil Gallagher of The Oasis


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## Ranbay (Sep 8, 2013)

Awesome


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