# Shit Films You Like



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

I just watched _The Fast And The Furious_. 

Brain dead, turbo-charged nonsense, at it's badly acted finest! 

Hot girls, hotter cars and blokes with muscles bigger than their guns.

I loved it. 

Fucking great fun .

What's your favorite shit film?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Gremlins 2.

Got slated at the time, most said it was shit compared with the first, but it is, in fact, really good.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

Gunmen.

MArio van peebles and Christopher Lambert are the odd couple that involves a pre-Xmen Picard as wheelchair bound drug lord


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 29, 2009)

If you like a film, it can't be shit.

I know I'm on a loser there but I felt the need to say it.


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

_Running Scared_, the one with Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines as a pair of wise-cracking Chicago cops out on the lam who do it their way (not the whiney emo mob thriller of 2006).


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

proper shit with no redeeming features is Red Sojnya


bad bad swords and sorcery flick with arnie in it


----------



## London_Calling (May 29, 2009)

It's like junk food, sometimes you want it, most of the time you avoid it.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

I like the Fugitive, but I also like both the kind of sequels - US Marshalls with Wesley Snipes, and Double Jeopardy with Ashley Judd or something.


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> proper shit with no redeeming features is Red Sojnya [sic]



Well, the teenaged me could think of four.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> Well, the teenaged me could think of four.





Is your name a tribute to Red Dwarf - White Hole (the pool playing bit)?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Oh, and Rambo, the original one - I expected it to be gratuitous violence and lots of deaths, but it's actually a much better film than I had given it credit for.


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

London_Calling said:


> It's like junk food, sometimes you want it, most of the time you avoid it.



This.

I almost didn't watch it when I saw that Vin Diesel was in it, but it was the best knockabout I've seen for years!

<Thinks about downloading a Steven Seagal flick>


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Hmm, that's not really what the thread's after, is it?

In which case, White Chicks is always a winner.  Fucking hilarious - Melinda agrees with me on that one


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> This.
> 
> I almost didn't watch it when I saw that Vin Diesel was in it, but it was the best knockabout I've seen for years!
> 
> <Thinks about downloading a Steven Seagal flick>



Go with the muscles from brussels

Hard Target is still a stand out eighties action extravaganza.

Or Time Cop, it's 90's but still good


----------



## plasticene (May 29, 2009)

Wall Street


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

plasticene said:


> Wall Street



Bollocks, that's a straight up good film.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Go with the muscles from brussels
> 
> Hard Target is still a stand out eighties action extravaganza.
> 
> Or Time Cop, it's 90's but still good



Thought of another one, Wedlock.


----------



## Wolveryeti (May 29, 2009)

Waterworld got massively slated by lots of people (but I think it's really good!)


----------



## sned (May 29, 2009)

Most of the films I like are shit. The Saw series for example. In fact, I have a bit of a thing for shit horror, why just the other day I watched the prequel to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I like big, shitty blockbusters too.

Oh, and 'Outpost'.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

But it's important to differentiate between the good blockbusters and the bad ones.  For instance, the first two X men films are ace, but that recent Wolverine one, and X men 3, were shit.


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Go with the muscles from brussels



The one where he's in the French Foreign Legion is ace, but JCVD is definitely the most avoidable actor in history, with the possible exception of Jason Statham (excluding _Lock Stock..._) and John Wayne in anything.



RenegadeDog said:


> Bollocks, that's a straight up good film.



Agreed. 

I liked the Rambo's too.


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Is your name a tribute to Red Dwarf - White Hole (the pool playing bit)?



Fraid not


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> Fraid not



"I was known as Dave Cinzano Bianco Lister - cos once I got on a table you couldn't get rid of me."


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

sned said:


> Oh, and 'Outpost'.



I have that in my to-watch folder at the moment, I'm looking forward to it.



Spymaster said:


> The one where he's in the French Foreign Legion is ace, but JCVD is definitely the most avoidable actor in history, with the possible exception of Jason Statham (excluding _Lock Stock..._) and John Wayne in anything.



Steady on! I really enjoy The Stath's work: _Ghosts Of Mars_, _London_, _Cellular_, _Crank_, _The Transporter_.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

I loved Transporter 1 - that was a classic 'good bad film' and Cellular too.

But London was shit.  Thing with London is that it was trying to be more of an arthouse film.

And Transporter 2 isn't a good bad film, it's just rubbish


----------



## SpookyFrank (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Oh, and Rambo, the original one - I expected it to be gratuitous violence and lots of deaths, but it's actually a much better film than I had given it credit for.



There's a genuinely serious film there, in amongst the rocket launchers. I've not seen any of the sequels but I expect they're pretty weak compared to the original.


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> Steady on! I really enjoy The Stath's work: _Ghosts Of Mars_, _London_, _Cellular_, _Crank_, _The Transporter_.



Fair play, horses for courses and all that, but I was specifically thinking _The Transporter   _when I posted that!

Worse than a shit sandwich with piss in it.

IMO, of course .


----------



## SpookyFrank (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> "I was known as Dave Cinzano Bianco Lister - cos once I got on a table you couldn't get rid of me."



"I've seen him play before, he's a diva. And you know what, I've never seen him lose a ball down any of those holes."


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

SpookyFrank said:


> There's a genuinely serious film there, in amongst the rocket launchers. I've not seen any of the sequels but I expect they're pretty weak compared to the original.



I downloaded the trilogy.  Watched the first one, was honestly stunned by how actually-good it was.  Then I started watching the second, and laughed it out of town.  The second was like how I had envisioned the first to have been...


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Fair play, horses for courses and all that, but I was specifically thinking _The Transporter   _when I posted that!
> 
> Worse than a shit sandwich with piss in it.
> 
> IMO, of course .



Yeah but Shu Qi is a babe.

Transporter 2 makes Transporter 1 look like Othello.


----------



## Badgers (May 29, 2009)

Tricky this....


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

SpookyFrank said:


> "I've seen him play before, he's a diva. And you know what, I've never seen him lose a ball down any of those holes."





In cat's world, I'd be the greatest pool player of all time.


----------



## SpookyFrank (May 29, 2009)

Aeon Flux. Nuff said.


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Fair play, horses for courses and all that, but I was specifically thinking _The Transporter   _when I posted that!
> 
> Worse than a shit sandwich with piss in it.
> 
> IMO, of course .



No worries, I guess it's a fine line 

Personally I don't really like _Chaos_ (aka _War_), his one with Jet Li, and I didn't really like _The Bank Job_.



RenegadeDog said:


> And Transporter 2 isn't a good bad film, it's just rubbish



Can't really disagree with that...



RenegadeDog said:


> London was shit.  Thing with London is that it was trying to be more of an arthouse film.



But THE STATH was magnificent in it!


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

SpookyFrank said:


> There's a genuinely serious film there, in amongst the rocket launchers. I've not seen any of the sequels but I expect they're pretty weak compared to the original.



Yeah, Rambo (_First Blood_) doesn't deserve to be on any 'Shit Films' thread, but R3 ventures into 'crap-but-fun' territory. 

The _Beast Of War_, (George Dzundza's best film, imo) did Afghanistan way better.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Yeah, Rambo (_First Blood_) doesn't deserve to be on any 'Shit Films' thread,



True - I think I only mentioned it because I had been expecting it to be a crap but fun film and it turned out to be much more than that...


----------



## fogbat (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Is your name a tribute to Red Dwarf - White Hole (the pool playing bit)?



I thought it was a reference to Kenny Vermouth...


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

fogbat said:


> I thought it was a reference to Kenny Vermouth...


----------



## sned (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> But it's important to differentiate between the good blockbusters and the bad ones.  For instance, the first two X men films are ace, but that recent Wolverine one, and X men 3, were shit.



Indeed, it is fair to say that X-Men 3 did not bust as many blocks as the first 2. Haven't seen Wolverine - maybe I won't bother now.

Loved Transformers.. sooooooo cheesy. Can't wait for the sequel.
Armageddon, Independence Day, War of the Words... all kinda crappy but enjoyable-silly-rainy-day-on-the-sofa-with-doritos-and-dip-fun.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

I thought Transformers was ace tbh.  Independence Day less so, and Armageddon was just silly.  War of the Worlds was actually quite decent.


----------



## Badgers (May 29, 2009)

Could never watch Independence Day again but it was harmless cheese


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

FridgeMagnet said:


> If you like a film, it can't be shit.
> 
> I know I'm on a loser there but I felt the need to say it.



Ah come on! 

You must have seen a few films that you know, in your heart of hearts, are badly acted, poorly produced, shit-scripted fluff ... but still enjoyed them? 

Watch _The Fast And The Furious_ or anything with Antonio Banderas in it!


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

_Lair Of The White Worm_ - a Ken Russell joint, early woodwork by Hugh Grant, Amanda Donohoe in blue paint as an ancient serpentine god with a predilection for bathing with Boy Scouts and tribadism of a most delectably sapphic kind. Utterly awful film, but compelling all the same.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> _Lair Of The White Worm_ - a Ken Russell joint, early woodwork by Hugh Grant, Amanda Donohoe in blue paint as an ancient serpentine god with a predilection for bathing with Boy Scouts and tribadism of a most delectably sapphic kind. Utterly awful film, but compelling all the same.



I stayed up late to watch that when I was about 14, and was a bit  at it all


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

Badgers said:


> Could never watch Independence Day again but it was harmless cheese



I've never seen it, because I know it's bollocks!

Worth a punt within the context of this thread you reckon, Badgers?


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

It doesn't have Amanda freaking Donohoe naked bar blue paint, I can tell you that much.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> It doesn't have Amanda freaking Donohoe naked bar blue paint, I can tell you that much.


----------



## Badgers (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> I've never seen it, because I know it's bollocks!
> 
> Worth a punt within the context of this thread you reckon, Badgers?



If your brain needs to be switched off and you can't think of anything else then it is worth seeing for reference and lols.


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

Think I'd rather see Amanda Donahoe in blue paint.

Does she get naked?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Think I'd rather see Amanda Donahoe in blue paint.
> 
> Does she get naked?



All I can remember is that I stayed up to watch it thinking it was going to be a conventional action adventure about a guy going to fight a giant white dragon in a cave, and it turned out to be rather more odd/sexual/arthousey than that....


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

A few more have come to mind:

_Terminal Velocity_, the one with Charlie Sheen as a skydiver caught up in implausible murder shenanigans
_Passenger 57_, in which airline security goon Wesley Snipes gets to utter his immortal McClane X line, "Bet on black!"
_Scar City_, a thoroughly minor action film and silly to boot but a gripping take on the _Magnum Force_ cops-as-vigilantes schtick, with a Baldwin (Stephen) reuniting with _Usual Suspects_ co-star Chazz Palmintieri, as well as _CSI_'s Gary Dourdan and Tia Carrere all paying their bills in an efficient manner


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Think I'd rather see Amanda Donahoe in blue paint.
> 
> Does she get naked?



Dude, this is Amanda Donohoe we're talking about. In a film directed by Ken Russell. A film about an ancient SNAKE GOD.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> Dude, this is Amanda Donohoe we're talking about. In a film directed by Ken Russell. A film about an ancient SNAKE GOD.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)




----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 29, 2009)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doomsday_(2008_film)

I rented that out a few months ago.  for post apocolyptic action drivel, you could do a lot worse.

Also, split second with Rutger Hauer http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105459/


----------



## gentlegreen (May 29, 2009)

"Goodbye Mr. Chips" (the proper, 1930s Robert Donat version) is far from high art but still left me with a moist eye on the third watching.

And I will always have a soft spot for "The Time Machine".


----------



## rubbershoes (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Think I'd rather see Amanda Donahoe in blue paint.
> 
> Does she get naked?



doesn't she always?


----------



## Voley (May 29, 2009)

Twister. Total load of crap but whenever it's on Sky I always thinkn 'I'll turn this off in a minute but, ooh, ooh, the bit with flying cow's coming up.'


----------



## Voley (May 29, 2009)

I like The Lair Of The White Worm, too. A few good laughs to be had at Hugh Grant's expense is always a good thing.

And Amanda Donohoe dresses up as an air hostess and has a fight with another air hostess. You've gotta give it points for that.


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

And the nun sequence. Got to love those nuns.


----------



## Voley (May 29, 2009)

You're confusng it with Behind The Green Door. I can see why tbh.


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

No, the nuns come in the dream/vision sequences:


----------



## N_igma (May 29, 2009)

Freddy Got Fingered-absolutely hilarious.


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

N_igma said:


> Freddy Got Fingered-absolutely hilarious.



Freddy's not the only one:


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (May 29, 2009)

Sore Losers, total shit but I love it when the sound changes when some shots change.


----------



## Voley (May 29, 2009)

I think you've watched Lair Of The White Worm just a _little _bit too much, tbh, Dave.


----------



## kyser_soze (May 29, 2009)

Under Siege - Seagal, Busey, TLJ and a briefly topless Erika Elniak

I'll have to refer to my DVD collection for more crap but great filums...


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> Under Siege - Seagal, Busey, TLJ and a briefly topless* Erika Elniak
> *
> I'll have to refer to my DVD collection for more crap but great filums...



[leer mode]

One of the finest pairs in the history of the human race

[/leer mode]


----------



## kyser_soze (May 29, 2009)

Indeed, her plastic surgeon should have got an award for those.

Actually, there's a google search I'm going to do...

And yes, there's an award for Best Beauty Enhancement...

http://www.makemeheal.com/contests/


----------



## Stigmata (May 29, 2009)

Just watched The Mummy Returns again last night. Apart from the annoying kid it's alright in a slightly rubbish way.


----------



## Ozric (May 29, 2009)

Bad Taste FTW!


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

And BrainDead.

But aren't Bad taste and Braindead self consciously 'good bad films'?  Therefore I'm not sure if they qualify...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 29, 2009)

Split Second is fantastic 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105459/


----------



## Ozric (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> And BrainDead.
> 
> But aren't Bad taste and Braindead self consciously 'good bad films'?  Therefore I'm not sure if they qualify...


Even though they may have aimed for the shit/good bar they certainly hit it so I stand by my nomination.


----------



## skyscraper101 (May 29, 2009)

On paper, a crap film but it's brilliant in my eyes.

Wicked mid nineties dancy soundtrack (Orbital, Prodigy, Underworld etc...), Angelina Jolie at about 20 years old (fit!), Jonny Lee Miller pre Trainspotting doing an American accent(lol!), and Detective Bunk from The Wire as the hapless cop. Plus a pretty cool performance from Fisher Stevens playing uber hacker 'The Plague'


----------



## elevendayempire (May 29, 2009)

Commando. "Let off some schteeeem, Bennett!"


----------



## kyser_soze (May 29, 2009)

Arnie's 80s movies are cracking generally. My fave bit in Commando is when Arnie and the chick crash the MG into a wall at 80, no seatbelts, and get up and walk away from it...


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

The best Arnie film bar none is Twins, for my money.

the main baddies death-by-chain is awesome.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 29, 2009)

Armageddon - said it before and I'll sat it again I love it unashamedly


----------



## Madusa (May 29, 2009)

'Cold Harvest'. Low grade action B-movie is just tooooo awesome for words.


----------



## Voley (May 29, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> Arnie's 80s movies are cracking generally. My fave bit in Commando is when Arnie and the chick crash the MG into a wall at 80, no seatbelts, and get up and walk away from it...



I like the opening scene where Arnie's walking down the hill with a whole fucking tree under his arm.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> Arnie's 80s movies are cracking generally. My fave bit in Commando is when Arnie and the chick crash the MG into a wall at 80, no seatbelts, and get up and walk away from it...


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

NVP said:


> I like the opening scene where Arnie's walking down the hill with a whole fucking tree under his arm.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> The best Arnie film bar none is Twins, for my money.
> 
> the main baddies death-by-chain is awesome.



Bollocks!


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Bollocks!



no, you're right. Junior was better.


----------



## ViolentPanda (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Think I'd rather see Amanda Donahoe in blue paint.
> 
> Does she get naked?



Doesn't she always?


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

ViolentPanda said:


> Doesn't she always?



Try and keep up old fellow, we've covered this already.


----------



## Voley (May 29, 2009)




----------



## Nanker Phelge (May 29, 2009)

I love The Limey - despite everyone always telling me it's shit. I think their taste is in their arse!


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

ViolentPanda said:


> Doesn't she always?



When it comes to AD's nakedness, always isn't frequent enough for me .


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> no, you're right. Junior was better.





Of his novelty films, got to be Kindergarten Cop.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Of his novelty films, got to be Kindergarten Cop.



'Who is your daddy and what does he do?'


----------



## TESLA (May 29, 2009)

shawshank redemption


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 29, 2009)

TESLA said:


> shawshank redemption



Is that really a shit film though?

You see I thought about "Con Air", "Starship Troopers" and "Total Recall" but they are not shit films in my world view. Well not compared to Armaggedon (best shit film evah!)


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

TESLA said:


> shawshank redemption



 That's a brilliant film!


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 29, 2009)

5t3IIa said:


> Split Second is fantastic
> 
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105459/



OI!!!  I got there first...



Jon-of-arc said:


> Also, split second with Rutger Hauer http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105459/


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> Dude, this is Amanda Donohoe we're talking about. In a film directed by Ken Russell. A film about an ancient SNAKE GOD.



Yeah I was gonna say that most of Ken Russell's stuff probably fit in here. 

Most of the shit stuff that Ilike, it turns out that only I think its shit and a lot of other people think its quite decent. 

I would put any of Guy Ritchie's stuff in here too but that's me.


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

TESLA said:


> shawshank redemption



Ha ha ha ha ha


----------



## May Kasahara (May 29, 2009)




----------



## kyser_soze (May 29, 2009)

My issue with filums like ski school and their ilk is that 

1. They're really not very funny
2. The most you ever see is a flash of bush and maybe some T&A. I mean _what's the fucking point_? If they're not funny, and the T&A is like watching 70s soft porn, why not just watch real porn? It's often unintentioanlly funnier, and the sex is way better


----------



## Final (May 29, 2009)

I was going to say Cube, but that would have been a mistake, that's a great film which sometimes looks a bit naff coz of hte low budget.


Flash Gordon is a shit film which I :heart:


----------



## kyser_soze (May 29, 2009)

The Dino Di Laurentis remake of Flash Gordon (i.e. the Queen one) is a fucking masterpiece...


----------



## Final (May 29, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> The Dino Di Laurentis remake of Flash Gordon (i.e. the Queen one) is a fucking masterpiece...



I keep telling people that.  They keep giving me funny looks.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 29, 2009)

green street 2


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

Oh, oh, I thought of a few. 

Scrooged with Bill Murry I love but its really quite shit. 

Most stuff that is Christmassy I love even if its shit. 
I quite liked the first Night in the Museum which was terrible but I watched it at work so it was a bit different.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 29, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> The Dino Di Laurentis remake of Flash Gordon (i.e. the Queen one) is a fucking masterpiece...



waaaaay better than star wars


----------



## bluestreak (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> proper shit with no redeeming features is Red Sojnya
> 
> 
> bad bad swords and sorcery flick with arnie in it




Love it.

I also love the 1986 animated classic _Transformers The Movie_.  Bad script, wonky editing, Orson fucking Welles as a giant planet eating planet-robot, great stuff.


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

bluestreak said:


> Love it.
> 
> I also love the 1986 animated classic _Transformers The Movie_.  Bad script, wonky editing, Orson fucking Welles as a giant planet eating planet-robot, great stuff.



Yes this too! At some points they haven't even finished the animation (cells?) at the bottom properly. 
Its wicked.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

did it have the dinobots in it? I seem to remember grimlock being in it...


----------



## bluestreak (May 29, 2009)

Jon-of-arc said:


> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doomsday_(2008_film)
> 
> I rented that out a few months ago.  for post apocolyptic action drivel, you could do a lot worse.




That film was absofuckinglutely ridiculous.  I could watch it a million times and never stop laughing.  The director should be shot!


----------



## bluestreak (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> And BrainDead.
> 
> But aren't Bad taste and Braindead self consciously 'good bad films'?  Therefore I'm not sure if they qualify...




Agreed.


----------



## bluestreak (May 29, 2009)

skyscraper101 said:


> On paper, a crap film but it's brilliant in my eyes.
> 
> Wicked mid nineties dancy soundtrack (Orbital, Prodigy, Underworld etc...), Angelina Jolie at about 20 years old (fit!), Jonny Lee Miller pre Trainspotting doing an American accent(lol!), and Detective Bunk from The Wire as the hapless cop. Plus a pretty cool performance from Fisher Stevens playing uber hacker 'The Plague'




Good call sir!


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 29, 2009)

bluestreak said:


> Good call sir!



I like how Jonny Lee Miller's mum in that is the mum in _Spanking The Monkey_ too


----------



## bluestreak (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> The best Arnie film bar none is Twins, for my money.
> 
> the main baddies death-by-chain is awesome.




Holy shit dude, that film is awful.  Swartzenegger is only good when he doesn't realise how bad the film is, or when it's Total Recall.  Any film where he knows he's chosen because of his rep for bad films and the humour inherant within that concept are always shit.  See also, Kindergarten Cop, Last Action Hero.


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> did it have the dinobots in it? I seem to remember grimlock being in it...



Yep!


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

bluestreak said:


> That film was absofuckinglutely ridiculous.  I could watch it a million times and never stop laughing.  The director should be shot!



I quite enjoyed its totally ludicrous shitness though


----------



## bluestreak (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> did it have the dinobots in it? I seem to remember grimlock being in it...




It had four of the five dinobots in it throughout the movie, except in a few cells in one tiny scene where all five feature.  No-one knows what happened to Snarl before or after.

(((Snarl's Hollywood career))))


Interestingly Grimlock starred in a series of low budget straight-to-video thrillers after TFTM, until realising he was just a metal Van Damme, after which he retired and now raises sheep and practises Buddism in New Zealand.


----------



## Yetman (May 29, 2009)

And those who know this one will know why its great


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 29, 2009)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138510/ idle hands - Jessica Alba looking fine!!


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 29, 2009)

bluestreak said:


> That film was absofuckinglutely ridiculous.  I could watch it a million times and never stop laughing.  The director should be shot!



the first 45 mins or so were quite cool...


----------



## El Jefe (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Gremlins 2.
> 
> Got slated at the time, most said it was shit compared with the first, but it is, in fact, really good.



so it's not shit then?


----------



## Riklet (May 29, 2009)

Freddy Got Fingered!

It's fucking terrible, but it's the kinda thing I find massively amusing in the right situation.  That wearing-the-deer scene is just beyond cringeoworthy though.... 

From Dusk Till Dawn too!


----------



## El Jefe (May 29, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Ah come on!
> 
> You must have seen a few films that you know, in your heart of hearts, are badly acted, poorly produced, shit-scripted fluff ... but still enjoyed them?



if it has a shit script etc, but you still enjoyed it, it means there's some other quality about the film you like. Therefore it's not shit, it's just flawed, but the flaws are compensated for by this other quality.

Like FridgeMagnet, I'll moan about this "so bad it's good / guilty pleasures" bollocks in vain till they rip this keyboard from my cold dead hand


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

The Craft. Sorry


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> so it's not shit then?



Jefe, you are completely correct.

We are all gonna just keep on saying they are shit even though its not the correct turn of phrase to use. 

Its what we mean that counts


----------



## El Jefe (May 29, 2009)

Riklet said:


> From Dusk Till Dawn too!



From Dusk Till Dawn is a great movie


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> From Dusk Till Dawn is a great movie



yep, cleverly done pastiche of two genres in one film


----------



## El Jefe (May 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> yep, cleverly done pastiche of two genres in one film



quite -the bit where it "flips" is funny and inspired film-making, not the kind of lame cop-out or self-indulgence it gets painted as


----------



## fen_boy (May 29, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> quite -the bit where it "flips" is funny and inspired film-making, not the kind of lame cop-out or self-indulgence it gets painted as



I've only ever seen the first half of this film. I'm always watching it with someone who finds the first bit unsettling so we end up turning it off and I never get to see the freakin' vampires.


----------



## Griff (May 29, 2009)

fen_boy said:


> I've only ever seen the first half of this film. I'm always watching it with someone who finds the first bit unsettling so we end up turning it off and I never get to see the freakin' vampires.



So you don't get to see the vampire chic dancing on the table?


----------



## fen_boy (May 29, 2009)

Griff said:


> So you don't get to see the vampire chic dancing on the table?



It's happened three times now.


----------



## Griff (May 29, 2009)

Enjoy:


----------



## elevendayempire (May 29, 2009)

elevendayempire said:


> Commando. "Let off some schteeeem, Bennett!"


OMG the alternate takes where Arnie tries out different one-liners:


----------



## Riklet (May 29, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> From Dusk Till Dawn is a great movie



Yeah man, agreed... it's hard though, if a film really is terribly shit, then I generally wont enjoy watching it.  Dusk Till Dawn is a b-movie messy crazy film that's kinda all over the place and amazing because of it.  I do still view it on some level as a "bad" film though, not sure why  It has Tarantino taping up a hole in his hand with duct tape, what more could you want?!

Maybe I have no answer for "shit" enjoyable films.  I was going to say The Notebook too, but I suspect this is another contestable one


----------



## tom_craggs (May 29, 2009)

Tremors.


----------



## kyser_soze (May 29, 2009)

^^^^Awesome flick

I'd add Critters to that...


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

Lynch's Dune



such epic set design, such epic fail.


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 29, 2009)

tom_craggs said:


> Tremors.



and tremors 2!!!

 *gets coat*


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 29, 2009)

kittyP said:


> Oh, oh, I thought of a few.
> 
> Scrooged with Bill Murry I love but its really quite shit.
> 
> ...



I was going to mention that as I thought it was a bit rubbish but quite good fun. And I do quite fancy seeing the second one


----------



## kittyP (May 29, 2009)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I was going to mention that as I thought it was a bit rubbish but quite good fun. And I do quite fancy seeing the second one



A friend of mine took some kids to see it on a playscheme and said it was really dire


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 29, 2009)

kittyP said:


> A friend of mine took some kids to see it on a playscheme and said it was really dire



 Maybe I'll wait for it to come on telly then


----------



## Gingerman (May 29, 2009)

tom_craggs said:


> Tremors.



Not really a shit filum though,even the critics thought it was a decent little flick,another vote for Waterworld,also Roadhouse the greatest guilty pleasure of all time imo


----------



## BlackArab (May 29, 2009)

tom_craggs said:


> Tremors.



oh yes! Despite having the dvd I manage to watch this everytime it's on TV.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> so it's not shit then?



Yeah, no it's the wrong category for this thread.  I'd file it more under 'films that you might expect to be shit or at least poor, but turn out to actually be good films'...


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Yetman said:


>



Fantastic film.  I'd file that under the bad taste/braindead area though - self consciously absolutely ludicrous.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

fen_boy said:


> I've only ever seen the first half of this film. I'm always watching it with someone who finds the first bit unsettling so we end up turning it off and I never get to see the freakin' vampires.


----------



## blairsh (May 29, 2009)

Fortress. Another mid 90s, Christopher Lambert classic


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

Oh, forgot to mention Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves.  Watched that a million times and it still has me in hysterics at the sheer braggadio of it all.

Contrast with King Arthur, which was similarly piss taking but took itself seriously.  Now that it just wank.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Oh, forgot to mention Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves.  Watched that a million times and it still has me in hysterics at the sheer braggadio of it all.
> 
> Contrast with King Arthur, which was similarly piss taking but took itself seriously.  Now that it just wank.



oh yeah, good shout.

'I want to cut his heart out with a spoon'


----------



## ajk (May 29, 2009)

Why a spoon, cousin?  Why not an axe?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

If you take it seriously, it's an absolutely dreadful Yank interpretation of our myth, with Costner not even attempting an English accent.  However, it's such a ridiculous pisstake that it's funny.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

treehouse fire scene, little john bellows '*FANNY!*"


it was funny when I was 15 and it's funny now.


----------



## May Kasahara (May 29, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> My issue with filums like ski school and their ilk is that
> 
> 1. They're really not very funny
> 2. The most you ever see is a flash of bush and maybe some T&A. I mean _what's the fucking point_? If they're not funny, and the T&A is like watching 70s soft porn, why not just watch real porn? It's often unintentioanlly funnier, and the sex is way better



I hear what you're saying but must point out that I do genuinely find Ski School funny and view it with a great deal of affection. It's shit and the humour is pretty weak - the hot girls aren't even particularly hot - yet my brother and I loved it so much and laughed so much at the weak humour that we rented it three times from the video shop. I now own a copy and still rate it as a much-beloved film


----------



## Quartz (May 29, 2009)

Armageddon. Two scenes make it for me: the scene almost at the beginning where the asteroid is discovered and the guy wants to name it after his wife, and the President's speech just before the launch. Awesome scenes in a generally cheesy movie.


----------



## Spymaster (May 29, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> Like FridgeMagnet, I'll moan about this "so bad it's good / guilty pleasures" bollocks in vain till they rip this keyboard from my cold dead hand



Oh well, never mind eh, everyone else seems to have got it!


----------



## butcher (May 29, 2009)

Zardoz - Sean Connery as a killer in red pants and thigh length boots brining death to an immortal utopia (and Charlotte Ramplings bubbies)

Best quote:  Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken. 

Silent Running

Tron

Razorback


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

butcher said:


> *Silent Running*
> 
> Tron
> 
> Razorback





have you no soul?


----------



## Sadken (May 29, 2009)

N_igma said:


> Freddy Got Fingered-absolutely hilarious.



I LOVE this film.  SO much.   So many quotable lines.....great days....great days.


----------



## butcher (May 29, 2009)

The robots altho' cute are pretty shit

It is a great film in many ways and full of the futility of mans progress but also full of bad 70s scifi sets, and Bruce Dearn always look like a serial killer......maybe because I saw him in The Cowboys first


----------



## butcher (May 29, 2009)

Yetman said:


> [
> 
> 
> 
> And those who know this one will know why its great



Society rules!

Shit they made a film of slither! That book scared me for half my teens


----------



## butcher (May 29, 2009)

Ohh I forgot Blind Fury with Rutger Haur http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096945/


----------



## dlx1 (May 29, 2009)

Shopping 
Sadie Frost
Jude Law
Sean Pertwee
Fraser James
Sean Bean

Bloodsport
Kickboxer 
Demolition Man 
Medicine Man

Maybe classed as shit! but more cheesy then shit


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (May 29, 2009)

I enjoy a lot of do-it-yourself MST3K:

Hudson Hawk
Beast Master
Krull
Buck Rodgers
Razor Blade Smile 
Eddie and the Cruisers II 
Plunkett and MacCleane
Ghostbusters
Waterworld
The Black Hole
Army of Darkness (and indeed anything with Bruce Campbell in it). 
Battle Beyond the Stars


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (May 29, 2009)

butcher said:


> Ohh I forgot Blind Fury with Rutger Haur http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096945/



Ladyhawk and The Hitcher are both good bad films with Rutger Haur too.


----------



## rikwakefield (May 29, 2009)

Ashamed to admit I enjoy Barbwire.


----------



## ajk (May 29, 2009)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Ghostbusters


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (May 29, 2009)

Oh, I almost forgot Equilibrium.  It has the best terrible scene with a puppy ever committed to film.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 29, 2009)

Equilibrium was class, even if it was robbing Fahrenheit 451 off a bit


----------



## revol68 (May 29, 2009)

Cherry Falls though in truth I think it's a much inderrated and better pardoy of the horror genre than the massively overrated Scream and of course Britney Murphy is a crazy got in it.


----------



## rikwakefield (May 29, 2009)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Oh, I almost forgot Equilibrium.  It has the best terrible scene with a puppy ever committed to film.



That film isn't shit. It's great, especially for the budget.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (May 29, 2009)

rikwakefield said:


> That film isn't shit. It's great, especially for the budget.



It's an incredibly sappy martial arts movie, not a BBC Shakespere adaptation.


----------



## rikwakefield (May 29, 2009)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> It's an incredibly sappy martial arts movie, not a BBC Shakespere adaptation.



I didn't suggest it was. It certainly shouldn't be on a "shit movie" list though.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (May 29, 2009)

rikwakefield said:


> I didn't suggest it was. It certainly shouldn't be on a "shit movie" list though.



It not on a shit movie list.  It on a shit movies _that you like list_.  

There are a lot of films on this list that were great when they were released, but just haven't stood the test of time.  Equilibrium is a great example of a low budget martial arts movie (which are all shit but likeable films) and that's why I put it on the list.


----------



## Madusa (May 29, 2009)

revol68 said:


> Cherry Falls though in truth I think it's a much inderrated and better pardoy of the horror genre than the massively overrated Scream and of course Britney Murphy is a crazy got in it.



Oh shit...that rings a bell!


----------



## May Kasahara (May 29, 2009)

I love Hudson Hawk.


----------



## dlx1 (May 29, 2009)

Cliffhanger 

Friday 29 May
11:00pm - 1:10am
ITV2

mm more cheese


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 29, 2009)

May Kasahara said:


> I love Hudson Hawk.



Now that's the sort of film that belongs on this thread.


----------



## DarthSydodyas (May 29, 2009)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Army of Darkness (and indeed anything with Bruce Campbell in it).


   Have you seen My Name Is Bruce?


----------



## Maggot (May 29, 2009)

sned said:


> Loved Transformers.. sooooooo cheesy. Can't wait for the sequel.
> Armageddon, Independence Day, War of the Words... all kinda crappy but enjoyable-silly-rainy-day-on-the-sofa-with-doritos-and-dip-fun.


Armageddon is rubbish butwell enjoyable.


----------



## elevendayempire (May 30, 2009)

Maggot said:


> Armageddon is rubbish butwell enjoyable.



Also from the Michael Bay case files: The Rock.


----------



## blairsh (May 30, 2009)

Howard The Duck.


----------



## May Kasahara (May 30, 2009)

I saw this a couple of times years ago and ever since have had an inexplicable urge to own it on video. Not DVD; video.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 30, 2009)

I watched a film called My Boss's Daughter a couple of years ago and thought it was absolutely dreadful, then I watched it again a few months ago and couldn't stop laughing.


----------



## Greenfish (May 30, 2009)

Ghost Town with Ricky Gervais.  All uber-cool lot called it hollywood shite...I saw at the cinema on my lonesome and thought it marvellous.  funny, sad, etc.  just a brilliant piece of entertainment.


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 30, 2009)

genuinely, the first time I watched battlefield earth, I actually enjoyed it.  I did not understand why people were slating it so much. 

I later watched not under the influence of dope and found it less enjoyable.  I still dont see why people hate it _that _much, but whatever merits I had previously noted totally evaporated.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 30, 2009)

Jon-of-arc said:


> genuinely, the first time I watched battlefield earth, I actually enjoyed it.  I did not understand why people were slating it so much.
> 
> I later watched not under the influence of dope and found it less enjoyable.  I still dont see why people hate it _that _much, but whatever merits I had previously noted totally evaporated.


----------



## Stobart Stopper (May 30, 2009)

Me and Kevin love all the Child's Play/Chucky films.


----------



## Dandred (May 31, 2009)

Excalibur


----------



## DotCommunist (May 31, 2009)

Dark Crystal


----------



## May Kasahara (May 31, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Dark Crystal



 begone from this thread with your inappropriately classified films!


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 31, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Dark Crystal
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Dandred said:


> Excalibur



It's a sad world, May, a sad world indeed, when good hearted pilgrims follow the wrong path


----------



## DotCommunist (May 31, 2009)

Bowies Labyrinth


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Bowies Labyrinth





That's un unshit film purely by dint of the fact that one scene is based on an Escher painting.

 

Begone with you!


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 31, 2009)

I say we kill him and cut him up and scatter the pieces to the four winds and never again speak of this.


----------



## sfumato (May 31, 2009)

Saw _Scent of a Woman_ again the other week on telly.  I've always thought of it as a good film - from when was little - but it is in fact SHIT.

Whoo-hah!  

Like it though.

I also like A Few Good Men and most things with Cruise that are shit, so that's all but Magnolia I think.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

DaveCinzano said:


> I say we kill him and cut him up and scatter the pieces to the four winds and never again speak of this.



Agreed.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

Not everything with cruise is shit.  Collateral was awesome, and so was Minority report.


----------



## sfumato (May 31, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> That's un unshit film purely by dint of the fact that one scene is based on an Escher painting.
> 
> 
> 
> Begone with you!




Agreed.  It does not qualify as a shit film.  Perish the thought.


----------



## sfumato (May 31, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Not everything with cruise is shit.  Collateral was awesome, and so was Minority report.



See i was going to put a question mark as those two were in the recesses of my mind going 'we weren't shit Magnolia wasn't the only one!'
Thanks for setting them free!


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

It's a very good kids film. I loved it at the time.  It does not belong on this thread, and nor does Dark Crystal or Willow.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

sfumato said:


> See i was going to put a question mark as those two were in the recesses of my mind going 'we weren't shit Magnolia wasn't the only one!'
> Thanks for setting them free!





Rainman was decent too.


----------



## sfumato (May 31, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Rainman was decent too.




How _could_ I forget Rainman?

The shame.


----------



## sfumato (May 31, 2009)

Even if Terminator Salvation is shit I fully intend to like it.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

sfumato said:


> How _could_ I forget Rainman?
> 
> The shame.



I have a directory of 'good films featuring shit actors'.

Also featuring: The Game, Falling Down, Wall Street (Michael Douglas)

Big, Catch Me If You can (Tom Hanks)

Mystic River (Sean Penn)


----------



## sfumato (May 31, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> I have a directory of 'good films featuring shit actors'.
> 
> Also featuring: The Game, Falling Down, Wall Street (Michael Douglas)
> 
> ...



Er, _Milk_??


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

Not seen it


----------



## DaveCinzano (May 31, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Not everything with cruise is shit.  Collateral was awesome, and so was Minority report.



_All The Right Moves_ and _Risky Business_ for me.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

Risky Business is a good call actually - saw that many years ago.  Is that the one where they shag on the train?  that got me well turned on as a teenager.


----------



## sfumato (May 31, 2009)

RenegadeDog said:


> Not seen it



It belongs in your directory


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (May 31, 2009)

Cool.  Downloading and adding to the huge backlog of films and stuff I have to watch


----------



## Stigmata (May 31, 2009)

Wiki wiki Wild Wild West


----------



## Spymaster (Jun 20, 2009)

Saw something last night with Steven Segal shooting up a hijacked nuclear submarine, that was quite fun.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 20, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> Saw something last night with Steven Segal shooting up a hijacked nuclear submarine, that was quite fun.



Under Siege, yeah that's an enjoyable bit of fluff which I think kyser and I mentioned a few pages back.

Very good boobage from Erika Eleniak


----------



## Spymaster (Jun 20, 2009)

upsidedownwalrus said:


> Under Siege, yeah that's an enjoyable bit of fluff which I think kyser and I mentioned a few pages back.
> 
> Very good boobage from Erika Eleniak



This was actually called _Submerged_.

Exactly the same gig as _Under Seige_, but set on a submarine.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 20, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> This was actually called _Submerged_.
> 
> Exactly the same gig as _Under Seige_, but set on a submarine.



Oh right.


----------



## Ozric (Jun 20, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> .....Exactly the same gig as _Under Seige_, but set on a submarine.


Genius


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 20, 2009)

*Goes to look for Submerged on torrents*


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jun 20, 2009)

upsidedownwalrus said:


> I have a directory of 'good films featuring shit actors'.
> 
> 
> Mystic River (Sean Penn)



Mystic River is a steaming pile of shit but Penn really does suck in it more than anything else. Even Tim Robbins is toss in MR.

Sean Penn hasn't been good in anything since 'we're no angels', which is of course awesome.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Jun 20, 2009)

Spymaster said:


> This was actually called _Submerged_.
> 
> Exactly the same gig as _Under Seige_, but set on a submarine.



They should have called it _Underwater Siege_.


----------



## Spymaster (Jun 20, 2009)

upsidedownwalrus said:


> *Goes to look for Submerged on torrents*



Gotta be worth it, Vinnie Jones is in it!!!


----------



## al (Jun 20, 2009)

Jon-of-arc said:


> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138510/ idle hands - Jessica Alba looking fine!!



I loved this film - could have something to do with the first time I watched it, on acid, in Thailand..... I think i did actually wet myself...


----------



## dweller (Jun 20, 2009)

Striptease with Demi Moore. 
I thought I'd hate this but I enjoyed it as it has it tries to have its tongue in cheek. 
Burt Reynolds has a great role.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 23, 2009)

Jurassic Park III on ITV2 now - a proper So Bad Its Good film


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 23, 2009)

The ridiculouslyhugeosaur and the satellite phone


----------



## machine cat (Jun 24, 2009)

I really like Independence Day  and Jet Li's The One


----------



## Red Horse (Jun 24, 2009)

Stepbrothers, it should be fucking shit but i've watched it so many times now there are actually quite a few bits that really make me laugh


----------



## Madusa (Jun 27, 2009)

Almost Famous.


----------



## machine cat (Jun 28, 2009)

Almost Famous is a good film though.

Isn't it?


----------



## Madusa (Jun 28, 2009)

it's soooo cheesy though. Like, good idea, just really badly executed in some places. I've only ever seen the film dubbed over in spanish though cos the dvd i have has no english audio track so that might have something to do with it. Cheesy spanish voices, lol

I loved it though.


----------



## machine cat (Jun 28, 2009)

Yeah, it's cheesy but i liked it. I'm gonna have to watch it again to see how cheesy it is.


----------



## Ceej (Jun 28, 2009)

*expels Shawshank from thread*

Weird Science and Desperately Seeking Susan....love them again and again....


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 28, 2009)

drcarnage said:


> Almost Famous is a good film though.
> 
> Isn't it?



Yeah but this is Urban - a site where I asked for good trash and got told Luis de Bernieres and fucking Arthur Conan Doyle


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 28, 2009)

Ceej said:


> *expels Shawshank from thread*
> 
> Weird Science and Desperately Seeking Susan....love them again and again....



Weird Science is a genuine good shit film.

"Please don't tell anyone about this... I wouldn't want to lose my teaching job."


----------



## May Kasahara (Jun 28, 2009)

Weird Science is pure class!

"How about a nice, greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?"


----------



## Gingerman (Jun 28, 2009)

Quite like some of the Carry Ons


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 28, 2009)

May Kasahara said:


> Weird Science is pure class!
> 
> "How about a nice, greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?"



One of my mates is just like that guy 

(Same guy who played the initially-hard-but-actually-wussy-when-faced-with-xenomorphic-freaks military guy in aliens)


----------



## Corax (Jun 28, 2009)

Hawk the Slayer.  Fucking legendary.

And Dune.


----------



## Corax (Jun 28, 2009)

Oh, and Mighty Ducks.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Jun 28, 2009)

Gingerman said:


> Quite like some of the Carry Ons



In reference to the thread title, I'll admit to a fondness for _...At Your Convenience_.


----------



## Madusa (Jun 28, 2009)

drcarnage said:


> Yeah, it's cheesy but i liked it. I'm gonna have to watch it again to see how cheesy it is.



I cant remember all the cringeworthy moments but there are loads and I always piss myself laughing when the band 'Stillwater' are playing and the guy from 'My name is Earl' is singing 'something something scratching at my backdoor' lol

And the whole scene where the lead singer crashes the house party in Topanga/Topeka or wherever it was was cheesy as fuck.


----------



## Madusa (Jun 28, 2009)

Gingerman said:


> Quite like some of the Carry Ons



The Carry Ons are class though! They still make me laugh like a drain.


----------



## May Kasahara (Jun 28, 2009)

upsidedownwalrus said:


> One of my mates is just like that guy
> 
> (Same guy who played the initially-hard-but-actually-wussy-when-faced-with-xenomorphic-freaks military guy in aliens)



"Chet. My name is Chet. And I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey."

Bill Paxton is my hero.


----------



## Sweaty Betty (Jun 28, 2009)

face off

Grease 2


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Jun 28, 2009)

May Kasahara said:


> "Chet. My name is Chet. And I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey."
> \.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Aug 23, 2009)

Watching _Green Street 2: Stand Your Ground_, and it is extraordinary. It's set in what appears to be a dusty cross between the Floridian work camp of _Cool Hand Luke_ and the prison in which Burt Reynolds is incarcerated in _The Longest Yard_, an institution populated by around 400 steroidal football hooligans and a smattering of Russian Mafia types, watched over by a custodial staff which includes Counsellor Troi from _Star Trek_ and the vicar from _Only Fools And Horses_.

The main character is a minor casual from the first film, the one who was the Jewish GI in _Band Of Brothers_, and occasionally given to husky Estuarine voiceovers (much in the Dyer/Love vein of hypermasculinised pulp). 

Popular pornography-of-prison-violence tropes are wheeled out and given the odd tweak here or there - pool balls in socks are replaced with batteries; bleach (in bottles with boldly generic labels promishing "BLEACH", which sadly is unlikely to be an homage to _Repo Man_) is added to the classic gaolhouse apéritif of freshly boiled water and granulated sugar.

The brutal leader of the Millwall firm in the nick really does not like our West Ham hooligan heroes, and constantly rails against these "East End cunts", "Cockneys" and "Pearly Kings", despite - as far as my limited geographical knowledge on such matters would suggest to me - Millwall being quintessentially East End itself. Perhaps this is a subtle reference to self-loathing or alienation or something.

Overall it is (perhaps surprisingly) competent in its construction, if not its creativity. It has the same high-sugar-low-nutritional-value feel of the likes of the _Lock Stock_ TV series, or a Gilbey Bros film, all showy stylistics and influences-on-its-sleeve, but not much in the way of original or innovative thought, and certainly very little to say other than "Whoa! Look at that dude's head cave in! Rewind and slo-mo!"

Still, somewhat worth it to hear Counsellor Troi utter lines like "Say 'Two peas in a pod', because I'm your superior officer and I told you to you INSUBORDINATE CUNT [breathe] NOW SAY IT!!!" and "He was an arsehole and I'm no Christian" and "You want to do your time and get your pay cheque and pay for rehab for your little spastic..." ["She has cerebral palsy!"] "Don't care!" She's a rotten apple, BTW, just in case you didn't get that.


----------



## Wolveryeti (Aug 23, 2009)

I loved Equilibrium - The combination of comically budget fx and Christian Bale's po-faced seriousness was winsome.


----------



## Wintermute (Aug 24, 2009)

Ten pages and no mention of Snakes On A Plane? A film so badly contrived, hopelessly executed and appallingly acted that it transcends all boundaries of failure to become possibly the finest snake-based film set on a plane featuring Samuel L Jackson in the history of everything ever? Or did I miss it early on?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Aug 24, 2009)

It has a better prosthetic penis scene than _Boogie Nights_ though.


----------



## HAPPY CHEF (Aug 24, 2009)

Sex Lives of The Potato Men,wrong for so many reasons but it cracks me up every time I see it.


----------



## PacificOcean (Aug 24, 2009)

White Chicks.

It me LOL.

And Soul Plane was another one.

The in-flight meal in economy was someone passing around a KFC bucket.  "Take two pieces and pass it on".  I lol'ed.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Aug 24, 2009)

White Chicks is awesome.


----------



## hitechlolife (Aug 24, 2009)

'Somewhere in Time' Christopher Reeve & Jane Seymour.


----------



## blairsh (Aug 24, 2009)

Watched "Big Trouble in Little China" on saturday night with my mate and his gf because she'd never seen it and really wanted to watch it. 

Forgot what a great shit film it is  (i also love Kurt Russel)


----------



## PacificOcean (Aug 24, 2009)

upsidedownwalrus said:


> White Chicks is awesome.



Indeed.

I am not sure it should be even lumped in with a "shit" film thread, but every review I saw gave it one star.

Maybe it's those middle class white folk who review films for papers, not finding it funny girl?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Aug 24, 2009)

Maybe yeah.  There are a few defenders of it on here.  The much-missed Melinda also liked it, and I think Kained did too.

It's just funny as fuck.  I love the bit when they're driving along and the rap song comes on and they both say nigga really loud and their friends look so shocked...


----------



## DaveCinzano (Jan 2, 2010)

I'm not sure this is the right place for it, because I don't think it's shit, but I was thinking today of _Hannibal Brooks_. A peculiar film, a war movie packed full of casual anachronisms, lacking in bloodlust, and an elephant


----------



## Bernie Gunther (Jan 2, 2010)

Big Trouble in Little China. Perhaps the greatest of all stupid movies. 



> Jack Burton: "What's this supposed to be a magic potion?"
> Egg Shen: "Yeah."
> Jack Burton:"What're we supposed to do, drink it?"
> Egg Shen:  "Yeah"
> ...


----------



## Bernie Gunther (Jan 2, 2010)

upsidedownwalrus said:


>



Class stupid movie. One of the greats.


----------



## Bernie Gunther (Jan 2, 2010)

Does '' qualify? It's kind of stupid, but I love it to bits. 



> "I hope I give you the shits, fucking werewolf bastard."


----------



## Lakina (Jan 2, 2010)

Does star wars count?  When I was little, I thought it was great, but I saw it the other day and realized it was shit after all.


----------

