# Shaun Ryder at the Dry bar years ago, funny as fuck



## northernhord (Apr 17, 2006)

I remeber years ago at the Dry Bar in Manchester the happy Mondays had been given an advance from their record company, it was time for Ryder the lads to go out and party hard.
As you may or may not know old fat bastard Ryder comes from the little Hulton Estate in Salford, LH is a mad fuckin place, the buses dont run through the estate after teatime and aint done for years.

Shaun was ready to go into Manchester and party hard, he took about twenty of his old mates from Little Hulton to the dry bar with him, As I grew up not far from LH estate I knew one or two of the lads who were out with Ryder and had heard the names of the others mentioned on the estates, all i can say about this crew of lads who went with Ryder into town is 'Worra buncha fuckin brigends and wrong-uns'
They piled into the dry bar, the bar manager ushered them upstairs not wanting to upset the hoards of middle class Southerners who frequented the bar.
Some of Ryders mates were hardcore smackheads, one of the lads who hadnt had a shite for almost a week though heroin and bad diet could feel his bowels stirring, the guy shit his pants and all this green liquid seeped downstairs via the wall, posh Southerners looked on in disgust as they held their noses.
Ryders lads then pickpocketed a number of these trendy rich types and headed off back to Little Hulton with their haul.


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## mozzy (Apr 17, 2006)

He! He! Wish i'd been there to see that. Don't know Dry Bar - from Da East side of Yorkshire myself, but can imagine....!


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## northernhord (Apr 17, 2006)

mozzy said:
			
		

> He! He! Wish i'd been there to see that. Don't know Dry Bar - from Da East side of Yorkshire myself, but can imagine....!



I suppose these Southerners in the dry used to hang about their waiting to see the real deal, they sure got it that night.

There's some tales I know about the mondays (R kids used to go on the piss with gaz Whelan their drummer) that have literally had me crying with laughter


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## Part 2 (Apr 18, 2006)

One of my mates used to drink with Shaun years ago, Shaun got him into gear. I went to his house in The Beeches while they were away recording. Not the house of a well man.

Far from funny, made me feel very sad. 

Dry wasn't all southerners either, some very nasty people in there from all over Manchester and Salford from what I remember. I spent several years drinking there, still see a few of the faces about, many of them shot to fuck now..


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## Dubversion (Apr 18, 2006)

sounds excellent - pickpocketing, smack addiction, shitting yourself in public. great laugh.


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## sleaterkinney (Apr 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> sounds excellent - pickpocketing, smack addiction, shitting yourself in public. great laugh.


southern softy!


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## Part 2 (Apr 18, 2006)

Dry never had an upstairs either. 

Unless the 'posh southern cunts' were sat downstairs by the toilets


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Part2 said:
			
		

> Dry never had an upstairs either.
> 
> Unless the 'posh southern cunts' were sat downstairs by the toilets



I dont mean an upstairs that was a bar area, appently the manager of the Dry bar ushered ryder and his cally mates upstairs to get them out of the way and the guy who shat his pants was in the floor against a wall.


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Part2 said:
			
		

> One of my mates used to drink with Shaun years ago, Shaun got him into gear. I went to his house in The Beeches while they were away recording. Not the house of a well man.
> 
> Far from funny, made me feel very sad.
> 
> Dry wasn't all southerners either, some very nasty people in there from all over Manchester and Salford from what I remember. I spent several years drinking there, still see a few of the faces about, many of them shot to fuck now..



I know it wasnt all Southerners I used to go there myself until all the trouble started with Mr Massey and Noonans and CO, there was a lot posh southerners there at the time though amongst the scallies.


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> sounds excellent - pickpocketing, smack addiction, shitting yourself in public. great laugh.



No need for Sarcasm, what was funny about it was all these posh music peeps wanting a piece of the rough council estate music action and they got it big time, what did they expect a lecture about Derrada?


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## Dubversion (Apr 18, 2006)

that's not what happened though, is it? your summary of proceedings doesn't match the original story in any way


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> that's not what happened though, is it? your summary of proceedings doesn't match the original story in any way



Mines from the mouth of the horse, its all true, I wouldnt believe what other people have told you.


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## Part 2 (Apr 18, 2006)

northernhoard said:
			
		

> I dont mean an upstairs that was a bar area, appently the manager of the Dry bar ushered ryder and his cally mates upstairs to get them out of the way and the guy who shat his pants was in the floor against a wall.




So he shit himself and it flowed through a solid floor/ceiling and down the wall.

Do me a favour.

If there's a load of shit here it's this whole story.


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## Dubversion (Apr 18, 2006)

northernhoard said:
			
		

> Mines from the mouth of the horse, its all true, I wouldnt believe what other people have told you.




you miss my point. the inconsistency i was pointing out was between what you describe in your original story - which is a grim tale of smack, theft and self-defecation - and your precis later which suggests it was one in the eye for the southern meeja hordes.

doesn't add up.


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Part2 said:
			
		

> So he shit himself and it flowed through a solid floor/ceiling and down the wall.
> 
> Do me a favour.
> 
> If there's a load of shit here it's this whole story.



When smackheads aint had a shit for a while they can expel litres of the stuff a lot of being water, I know you like to think that you are completly right but you are wrong on this score mate, if anyone listened to you they would think that you were related to every musician in Manchester in some way, whose the shit merchant, you I think.


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## kakuma (Apr 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> you miss my point. the inconsistency i was pointing out was between what you describe in your original story - which is a grim tale of smack, theft and self-defecation - and your precis later which suggests it was one in the eye for the southern meeja hordes.
> 
> doesn't add up.



bored?


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> you miss my point. the inconsistency i was pointing out was between what you describe in your original story - which is a grim tale of smack, theft and self-defecation - and your precis later which suggests it was one in the eye for the southern meeja hordes.
> 
> doesn't add up.



See what you mean, originally I thought that the events that had occured that night at the dry bar were amusing in some ways, the bit about the posh music journos was something that amused me as there was always these type of people there hanging around cos they knew that a lot of the bands used the bar, does that make sense?


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## Dubversion (Apr 18, 2006)

it makes sense but it still doesn't relate, sorry. 

seems to me that after that night, the smackheads were still smackheads and the meeja types were still meeja types.


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> it makes sense but it still doesn't relate, sorry.
> 
> seems to me that after that night, the smackheads were still smackheads and the meeja types were still meeja types.



Yeah your right, I think my view of H users has had to verge on black humour some of my old mates are on it, its fucked up places where ive lived and I just think that when you in the thick of it you gotta have a sense of humour about it, Ivenever used the shite myself but Ive tried to help my mates and its a mad almost hopeless situation but even they have laughed about the whole affair, the whole thing is fucked up really, a nest of hornets


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## Part 2 (Apr 18, 2006)

northernhoard said:
			
		

> When smackheads aint had a shit for a while they can expel litres of the stuff a lot of being water, I know you like to think that you are completly right but you are wrong on this score mate, if anyone listened to you they would think that you were related to every musician in Manchester in some way, whose the shit merchant, you I think.




Hang on, you started a thread with a tale like this, glorifying the scally elements of the Manchester music scene, namedropping like you were there.

You then backpeddle a bit, your third post, (and I'm assuming appently means apparently) seems to suggest it was a third hand account.

Then to try and deflect you come the patronising dickhead with your I know it all about smackheads routine.

Meanwhile in another thread, I correct some mistakes in your information which you could easily have checked by going to google or wikipedia.

And I'm the shite merchant


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Part2 said:
			
		

> Hang on, you started a thread with a tale like this, glorifying the scally elements of the Manchester music scene, namedropping like you were there.
> 
> You then backpeddle a bit, your third post, (and I'm assuming appently means apparently) seems to suggest it was a third hand account.
> 
> ...



Hold on you exaggerate greatly, I never glorified Scallies if you read the post 'I FOUND SOME OF IT FUNNY'
iF YOU HAD READ THE POST PROPERLY IT SAYS THAT MY BROTHER USED TO KNOCK ABOUT WITH GAZ WHELEN FROM THE MONDAYS, THIS IS WHERE THE INFO CAME FROM, I NEVER SAID I WAS THERE (APPARENTLY)
WHAT THE FUCK IS WIKIPEDIA!

YOU ARE STILL THE SHIT MERCHANT MATEY


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## Dubversion (Apr 18, 2006)

i used to knock about with Gaz Whelan for a bit, as it happens. 

never saw him shit himself though


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> i used to knock about with Gaz Whelan for a bit, as it happens.
> 
> never saw him shit himself though



He nver shat himself, good soccer player though


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## Part 2 (Apr 18, 2006)

Fucking hell, here we go.

You started a thread, in the title it says "funny as fuck". That kind of says to me you find it's content in some way amusing, if not very much so. Nowhere do you say you find *some*  of it funny.

The final sentence of the OP is: 
"Ryders lads then pickpocketed a number of these trendy rich types and headed off back to Little Hulton with their haul."

Now besides all the smackhead malarkey that's the sort of thing I call scally behaviour. Your first post stinks (scuse the pun) of glorifying their behaviour, your second only confirms it, like hey those middle class types sure got one in the eye.

The beginning of your OP is "I remember", and nowhere do you say it was a tale your brother told you. 

As a side issue how is it okay for you to tell stories like this about the nastier side of Manchester but wrong for 'middle class' students who come here to think the place is full of scallies and villains.


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Part2 said:
			
		

> Fucking hell, here we go.
> 
> You started a thread, in the title it says "funny as fuck". That kind of says to me you find it's content in some way amusing, if not very much so. Nowhere do you say you find *some*  of it funny.
> 
> ...



Look mate at the end of the day I posted something that Id heard through my brother that I found amusing, I used to go to the dry bar but wasnt there the night this stuff happened.
As far as glorifying their behavour I found it funny I didnt glorify it.
And as far as the student bit, I used to go to all the clubs at the time the HAc, legends, Ritz on a monday, the Venue, and do you know what mate, the students were fuckin snobby cunts, not all of but a lot em were.

During the Mondays flirt with the music press those fuckin tossers used to try and wind the mondays up and get em to come with un PC stuff, I hated the way they were treated by the middle class music press and i hated the way students just wanted to grab a piece of the action cos it was trendy to so.

I thought i had mentioned the Gaz wheelen bit, my mistake, my brother used to knock about with gaz and a load of other lads from Kersal and that's where i used to pick these bits and pieces up about the mondays.


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## Part 2 (Apr 18, 2006)

Seems to me you thought their behaviour was great.


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## northernhord (Apr 18, 2006)

Part2 said:
			
		

> Seems to me you thought their behaviour was great.



I didnt mate honestly, I did find it funny which you are right is questionable I suppose I was sick to death with all the students and posh journo's at the time, not to mention 3 years of snobby cunts at Bristol Uni, It does taint how you think about it all.


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## Strawman (Apr 19, 2006)

northernhoard said:
			
		

> And as far as the student bit, I used to go to all the clubs at the time the HAc, legends, Ritz on a monday, the Venue, and do you know what mate, the students were fuckin snobby cunts, not all of but a lot em were.



Legends in warrington?


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## northernhord (Apr 19, 2006)

Strawman said:
			
		

> Legends in warrington?




Nar Legends in Manc, I heard the warrington was good


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## aghesfo (Sep 9, 2016)

Chip Barm said:


> Dry never had an upstairs either.
> i used to be a chef at dry bar and i can assure you there is an upstairs...dry bar was created by tony wilson and he had his office upstairs in the early years. when i worked there the upstairs was used as a storeroom and tony wilsons massive kidney shaped orange desk was still up there because it was to big to get out. madonna's signature was also scrawled on the wall in gold paint pen!
> Unless the 'posh southern cunts' were sat downstairs by the toilets


i


Chip Barm said:


> Dry never had an upstairs either.
> 
> Unless the 'posh southern cunts' were sat downstairs by the toilets


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## mauvais (Sep 9, 2016)

That's a top quality decade-long bump, but some hideous quote tag confusion. I give it 3 out of 5 beshittings.


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## keybored (Sep 9, 2016)

This bump made me want to key someone's car.


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## mauvais (Sep 9, 2016)

I want to know why OP changed from hoard to hord, and whether it was discovering the word 'horde' that made him finally jack it all in.


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## tangerinedream (Sep 10, 2016)

Northernhord is an absolutely fucking top bloke. I met up with him years ago and ended up kipping at his house and chatting shit till the wee hours and being given a brilliant tour of alsorts of corners of Bolton I didn't know existed. A genuinely lovely, kind, hard as nails on the outside, but soft and wise and thoughtful, philosophical and interesting character. I really hope he's well and happy. Along with Cesare + Button (who I shamefully mean to write to in reply to the Christmas cards we get and never do cos I'm a vacuous self obsessed cunt), Ninjaboy and Firky (yes them two) - I'd say he's one of the people I am glad the internet exists as I wouldn't know or have known irl. That Cyberfairy I can take or leave in the main though. Grumpy wrong un that she is.


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## oryx (Sep 10, 2016)

tangerinedream said:


> Northernhord is an absolutely fucking top bloke. I met up with him years ago and ended up kipping at his house and chatting shit till the wee hours and being given a brilliant tour of alsorts of corners of Bolton I didn't know existed. A genuinely lovely, kind, hard as nails on the outside, but soft and wise and thoughtful, philosophical and interesting character. I really hope he's well and happy. Along with Cesare + Button (who I shamefully mean to write to in reply to the Christmas cards we get and never do cos I'm a vacuous self obsessed cunt), Ninjaboy and Firky (yes them two) - I'd say he's one of the people I am glad the internet exists as I wouldn't know or have known irl. That Cyberfairy I can take or leave in the main though. Grumpy wrong un that she is.



I always remember Nothernhord's description of Bolton market which was one of the funniest things I read on here, ever!

Re the Dry Bar, I remember going there around the time it opened in 1991. I thought it was great! Can't particularly remember why...it was in the middle of a day long pub crawl and just felt good. Probably, it was the innovative design, at a time when a lot of pubs were still all velour seats and patterned carpets.

A friend of mine went there a few weeks later and while coming out of the bogs came face to face with a young kid who said 'OI! OLD PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T COME IN HERE!'

My friend was about 29. 

Now, I miss the pubs with velour seats and patterned carpets. Middle/old age


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