# Good excuses for not attending the Christmas Party/Meal



## sim667 (Nov 8, 2010)

The real reason is I cant really be fucked, and there's only about 2 or 3 people I dont mind having a chat with.


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## marty21 (Nov 8, 2010)

I'm not going because I hate you all, and it's bad enough spending every working hour with you, give me some fucking time off at Christmas please!


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## Kanda (Nov 8, 2010)

Why lie? Just say you don't fancy it/have other plans.


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 8, 2010)

I'm sorry, I can't make it. Have a good time.


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## gabi (Nov 8, 2010)

Our company has realised the futility of this exercise this year and is instead just giving each of us £40 and leaving it up to us as to how we spend it. much better.


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## Dr. Furface (Nov 8, 2010)

gabi said:


> Our company has realised the futility of this exercise this year and is instead just giving each of us £40 and leaving it up to us as to how we spend it. much better.


Our company as ever won't be paying a penny. Which is why I won't be there.


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## Greebo (Nov 8, 2010)

What Kanda and Rutita1 said.


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## efexor1980 (Nov 8, 2010)

marty21 said:


> I'm not going because I hate you all, and it's bad enough spending every working hour with you, give me some fucking time off at Christmas please!



Haha Thats what I'd say nice one


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## sim667 (Nov 8, 2010)

gabi said:


> Our company has realised the futility of this exercise this year and is instead just giving each of us £40 and leaving it up to us as to how we spend it. much better.


 
We'll have to pay for it ourselves.....

Ill just say im busy.


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## sorearm (Nov 8, 2010)

How can you say that you can't stand most of your colleagues, there are a couple that you get on really well with.

The management are total cunts, they have lied to you about what your new job role would be, your boss is trying to instigate formal sickness review proceedings, without going through the informal procedure first (contrary to the policies and procedures).

... and anyway it's the same day as my MSc graduation day - ha ha, fuck off!

*flicks the Vs*


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## Dr. Furface (Nov 8, 2010)

I think this year I'll tell them in the style of Dragons Den - 'Let me tell you where I am. I'm OUT.'


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## xes (Nov 8, 2010)

kill a relative, then you'll have to go to the funeral


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 8, 2010)

Kill yourself, most restaurants get all narky about serving corpses.


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## bemused (Nov 8, 2010)

Do you have kids? Kids are great, they are the one size fits all excuse.

Don't want to go to a Christmas party? "sorry I'm baby sitting the kids, my wife's party is that night"

Don't want to go to a dull BBQ "sorry, the kids have judo club thing I can't get out of of"

Too knackered to go to the pub with you mates but don't want to admit it "sorry, the kids aren't well"

Kids - you'll never need another excuse.


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## ddraig (Nov 8, 2010)

i just said 'as much as i'd like to, unfortunately i will not be attending this year' this year!
fuck them sad fucks frankly!

e2a - and also asked to be taken off the stupid email list that was loadsa comic sans and BIG LETTERS, fuck the fuck off!


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## geminisnake (Nov 8, 2010)

Sorry I'm busy works for me too. None of their damn business what you're busy with. You could be busy watching paint dry


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## weepiper (Nov 8, 2010)

I _like_ my Christmas works do. They're all a laugh, and the boss pays for a meal then a few hours in the pub afterwards.


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## wemakeyousoundb (Nov 10, 2010)

ddraig said:


> i just said 'as much as i'd like to, unfortunately i will not be attending this year' this year!
> fuck them sad fucks frankly!
> 
> e2a - and also asked to be taken off the stupid email list that was loadsa comic sans and BIG LETTERS, fuck the fuck off!


Why?


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## kabbes (Nov 10, 2010)

I use the excuse, "I don't want to go, thanks."


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## Kanda (Nov 10, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I use the excuse, "I don't want to go, thanks."


 
Innit. Can't believe how many people feel the need to make up some bollocks story. If you don't like them that much, just be fucking honest


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## Me76 (Nov 10, 2010)

gabi said:


> Our company has realised the futility of this exercise this year and is instead just giving each of us £40 and leaving it up to us as to how we spend it. much better.


 
That is so bloody awesome!

I completely agree that having to spend time with people you don't particularly like, normally eating pretty standard food and in your own time is awful.  

I have worked places in the past where just a lunch happens, which is cool.  I have also worked at places where the majority of the people were decent and I didn't mind spending time with them, which was also cool.  

This job there are only about 4-5 people I can talk to without wanting to stab them in the face and the thought of spending an evening with them all is NOT cool.  Unfortunately it is pretty much compulsory and only really good excuses are allowed.  Will be watching this thread with interest.


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 10, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I use the excuse, "I don't want to go, thanks."


 


Kanda said:


> Innit. Can't believe how many people feel the need to make up some bollocks story. If you don't like them that much, just be fucking honest


 
Although I totally agree and sympathise with this I do know places - including where I work - where your card was marked if you didn't come to the Christmas party.

The - now exMD - would make a list of who didn't attend and if you didn't have what he considered to be a reasonable excuse he would literally make a note of it. And you would be reminded of it throughout the year!

Thankfully that no longer happens and attendance is, as it should be, optional.


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## fredfelt (Nov 10, 2010)

My heart felt advice would be to get pissed before hand, then take full advantage of the free booze at the event and get so drunk you cannot remember any of it.  That's just as good as not being there.  What could go wrong?


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## Hocus Eye. (Nov 10, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Although I totally agree and sympathise with this I do know places - including where I work - where your card was marked if you didn't come to the Christmas party.
> 
> The - now exMD - would make a list of who didn't attend and if you didn't have what he considered to be a reasonable excuse he would literally make a note of it. And you would be reminded of it throughout the year!
> 
> Thankfully that no longer happens and attendance is, as it should be, optional.




When that MD left did he go on to become a traffic warden? That would seem to me to be an appropriate job for him. 

I think if that was the case in a place I worked, I would make a big thing of the fact that I wasn't going to this year's Christmas party or next year's either, that I didn't intend to explain why, and would put up a notice by my desk to this effect. I would leave the notice up all year. That way the MD wouldn't need to mention it.


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## magneze (Nov 10, 2010)

You were told that Santa wasn't real too young and haven't been able to participate in Christmas since.


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## machine cat (Nov 10, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I use the excuse, "I don't want to go, thanks."


 
This is what I've used in the past. The general answer is ,"Ok."


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## kabbes (Nov 10, 2010)

To be fair, I do sometimes also point out that I have to spend more than enough time with them already and have no desire to increase that time voluntarily.


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## porno thieving gypsy (Nov 10, 2010)

I've agrred to go this year after many years of not going 

New boss wanted support...


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## lolo (Nov 11, 2010)

Dr. Furface said:


> Our company as ever won't be paying a penny. Which is why I won't be there.


 
yup


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## gabi (Nov 11, 2010)

how can they expect you to go if they're not paying?


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## Epico (Nov 11, 2010)

You've converted to Judaism. 
Get yourself circumcised (if you're not already) and whip out the ol' fella if they question you.


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## Yelkcub (Nov 11, 2010)

gabi said:


> Our company has realised the futility of this exercise this year and is instead just giving each of us £40 and leaving it up to us as to how we spend it. much better.


 
What a nice thought. Well done your management!


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## Shevek (Nov 11, 2010)

you are on an ASBO and have a curfew.


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## robotmiss (Nov 12, 2010)

Say you can't go, you have to work that night.


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## Termite Man (Nov 12, 2010)

A few where I work have decided to not bother with the christmas party this year , instead we are going on a pub crawl


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## Citizen66 (Nov 12, 2010)

Tell them that although it will certainly crush your soul to not be in such brilliant company, due to the current economic climate you couldn't possibly collaborate with the company in wasting money. 

Get brownie points out of giving them the elbow.


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## DotCommunist (Nov 12, 2010)

amebic dysentery


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## rubbershoes (Nov 12, 2010)

Say you're staying in to have a wank


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## sorearm (Nov 15, 2010)

rubbershoes said:


> Say you're staying in to have a wank


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## spanglechick (Nov 15, 2010)

i'm sacking off the deprtment meal and gift exchange this year, because i genuinely can't afford it - which happens to be true, but would surely work for lots of people.


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## sim667 (Nov 16, 2010)

Well i bought a bangface ticket for the same night...... so sod em, that'll do.


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 16, 2010)

sim667 said:


> Well i bought a bangface ticket for the same night...... so sod em, that'll do.


 
Oh, very good!

Sorry guys I can't make it because I am going to Bangface....


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## magneze (Nov 16, 2010)

They will all turn up to Bangface after the office party.


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## sim667 (Nov 16, 2010)

magneze said:


> They will all turn up to Bangface after the office party.


 
They'll all be in bed at 9pm after the office party....


I'm obviously not going to tell them im going to bangface, just that 'Im up in london'...... of the back of that name they'll assume im into some kind of weird swingers meet with a facial fetish or something like that.....


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## jusali (Nov 17, 2010)

Bangface looks fun!


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