# bizarrest performance art you have witnessed



## wayward bob (Feb 7, 2012)

mr b insists that this really happened. i have no recollection of it  a final degree show that consisted of the artist being various insects.

"i am worm": dude, naked in park, digs a hole, climbs into it and gives a guy a blowjob
"i am cockroach": dude lies naked on his kitchen floor, eating food from under his fridge
"i am snail": (in the gallery) dude is naked (natch) inside a greenhouse, rucksack on back, licking algae off the glass



yours? 

(edit: understandably, mr b was a little alarmed when i decided to do an art degree )


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## TitanSound (Feb 7, 2012)

At Shunt, I saw a naked woman with a hairy muff hula hooping whilst being drawn by a load of people.


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## Yetman (Feb 7, 2012)

At the Big Chill, around 9.30pm some woman fisting herself up the arse in front of loads of wide eyed children and confused poshos 

I didnt actually witness that.....but it happened


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## Santino (Feb 7, 2012)

Nick Clegg


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## Crispy (Feb 7, 2012)

Yetman said:


> At the Big Chill, around 9.30pm some woman fisting herself up the arse in front of loads of wide eyed children and confused poshos
> 
> I didnt actually witness that.....but it happened


 
Not bad. Have you seen the guy who sticks an electrode up his arse and makes lightning come out of his fingers?


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## wayward bob (Feb 7, 2012)

where do i get tickets?


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## Crispy (Feb 7, 2012)

wayward bob said:


> where do i get tickets?


He's called The Great Voltini - there's videos on youtube (no idea if any of them were any good). I saw him off my face on mushrooms at Glastonbury years ago and was never sure, afterwords, if it really happened. Then I saw him again at endorset and it all came back to me. It's a great show


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## beesonthewhatnow (Feb 7, 2012)

Crispy said:


> Not bad. Have you seen the guy who sticks an electrode up his arse and makes lightning come out of his fingers?


No, but now I _really_ want to


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## stuff_it (Feb 7, 2012)

No mentions of 'spaghetti hoops girl'?

NSFW:


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## editor (Feb 7, 2012)

Bloke putting a pair of scissors in a condom up his arse, pouring ketchup over himself while ranting tunelessly, "fuck me up the arse."

*seen in a Clapham wine bar!


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 7, 2012)

I don't think I have ever seen any live performance art however -

In Amsterdam - a video of Marina Abramovic dancing naked with a bag on her head until she collapsed from exhaustion. I think she danced for 8 hours all told.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_Abramović

In Krakow - another video. Some bloke filling condoms with torn up newspaper then parading through the streets.

Plus Mr.QofG's saw a video at the Tate Modern which seemed to involve a bloke shitting into/against a tight pair of pants. I shall ask him if he can remember the name ot the artist! *

* eta: Paul McCarthy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_McCarthy


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## TruXta (Feb 7, 2012)

Didn't see it, but what was the name of that guy who cut part of his nob off? German dude, 70s?


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## ChrisD (Feb 7, 2012)

Michael Landy shredding all his stuff.  

What are you planning Bob ?   Are you still looking for maps of Scotland?


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## sim667 (Feb 7, 2012)

I was once showed a video of a man drinking paint and shitting it onto a canvas (i think that was it, or he put the paint up his arse). I cant remember properly. He was a well known artist though.


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## IC3D (Feb 7, 2012)

Saw a porno a German student made of him conceiving a child with his girlfriend, It was mostly from the POV of his johnson


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## Mrs Magpie (Feb 7, 2012)

I went to a comedy gig in Battersea Town Hall once (1980s iirc) and whoever I'd paid to see was for some reason unavailable so instead Arnold Brown did some improvised piece about Jewishness while wrapped in a winding sheet which culminated in him standing there stark naked. It was a bit shit. There were certainly no laughs, more silent bemusement.


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## Stanley Edwards (Feb 7, 2012)

I was lucky enough to get tickets to Der Family Schneider, Gregor Schnieder. Sort of performance art. Put on by Art Angel about 10 years ago now. Fucking brilliant. Two identical East End terraced houses complete with atmospherics and sound effets. Both identical in everyway other than the antics of the actors you were invited to watch in a very voyeuristic way.

In house Nº1 I opened the bathroom door to see a man masturbating in the shower. I didn't open the same door in house Nº2 even though curiosity was willing me.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 7, 2012)

this was pretty good last year in berlin







people eating brains and babies crying and wierd noises and time-stretching lights and not much room and so on.

i've seen people do things with pointed things that would make your head spin. and theirs.


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## Athos (Feb 7, 2012)

editor said:


> Bloke putting a pair of scissors in a condom up his arse, pouring ketchup over himself while ranting tunelessly, "fuck me up the arse."
> 
> *seen in a Clapham wine bar!


Don't bring that up, again.  I'd had a few drinks, ok.  Surely you must have embarrassed yourself when drunk before?


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## Cm7 (Feb 7, 2012)

Not witnessed personally as they were filmed.
Cremaster Cycles by Matthew Barney are bizarre, unsettling yet beautiful.


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## chilango (Feb 8, 2012)

I _did_ a fair bit of performance art as a student. Nowt as gross as that though. Mostly it meant creating excuses to bugger off to the beach instaed of staying in the studio!

A few I can remember:

Sitting in an empty room throwing stones at a vase of flowers.

Sitting in a empty room in a German Psychiatric Hospital making an amplified satellite dish resonate at a nausea inducing frequency.



Re-enacting Hansel and Gretl in a forest in the Rhineland.

Sitting on top of a mountain in North Wales rubbing a rock against a rock for several hours.


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