# Eurovision 2016 (14 May, Sweden)



## Lord Camomile (Nov 17, 2015)

Thought it worth starting this thread as it has been announced that  Australia will be taking part in the semi-finals. 

I'm a bit  about this; I loved them taking part in 2015 but I'm not sure about them becoming a regular fixture.


----------



## wtfftw (Nov 17, 2015)

I think we should let everyone who isn't the USA in. The only thing I would mind is if we stop funding it and never get to the final again.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Nov 17, 2015)

I did think a Globalvision might be a goer.

I think I'd have been ok if they'd kept a 'guest spot' where they invited one nation from outside Europe each year, but having Aus back again doesn't quite seem right.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Nov 17, 2015)

Universvision 

I was disappointed with Australia this year


----------



## ska invita (Nov 17, 2015)

Lord Camomile said:


> Thought it worth starting this thread as it has been announced that  Australia will be taking part in the semi-finals.
> 
> I'm a bit  about this; I loved them taking part in 2015 but I'm not sure about them becoming a regular fixture.


I started a thread about the 2016 Eurovision last year... Imposter thread... Where's pogofish when you need him...


----------



## Lord Camomile (Nov 17, 2015)

ska invita said:


> I started a thread about the 2016 Eurovision last year... Imposter thread... Where's pogofish when you need him...


You started a thread about Eurovision 2016 in 2014 

What were you _thinking_


----------



## wtfftw (Nov 17, 2015)

Maybe it should be in world politics. Stop the tv-music divide.


----------



## dessiato (Nov 17, 2015)

It could become a world cup of music type event. At least that way we'd only suffer it once ever four years.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Nov 17, 2015)

I don't particularly have a problem with Australia competing regularly. They obviously love it there so why not. It's not like it won't still be Eurovision.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Nov 17, 2015)

I agree with wtfftw - the more the merrier but never America.

That should be a slogan for something.

"The more the merrier! BUT NEVER AMERICA!"


----------



## Lord Camomile (Nov 17, 2015)

But then it's not EUROvision! 

Create a new global song contest and I'll gladly watch that too, but what's the point in constructing these artificial parameters if you're not even going to adhere to them?!


----------



## zoooo (Nov 17, 2015)

Australians do practically count as British. I'd let Canada in too.


----------



## hash tag (Nov 17, 2015)

Perhaps it should be out with Eurovision and in with world vision...." We are the world....'


----------



## ska invita (Jan 12, 2016)

Behave, Poland. Or you'll be kicked out of Eurovision!

The Polish government’s moves to exert greater control over public media could lead to the country being barred from the Eurovision Song Contest.

The European Broadcasting Union, which organizes the yearly song contest, said it was monitoring changes to Poland’s media laws. “If they breach the statutes of the EBU, we will have a problem with them,” its president, Jean-Paul Philippot, told the Financial Times. He warned Tuesday that Poland even could be kicked out of the organization, and therefore out of Eurovision.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jan 17, 2016)




----------



## Lord Camomile (Feb 4, 2016)




----------



## stavros (Feb 4, 2016)

Please can we enter a song which encompasses samples of the great Woganisms of bygone years please?


----------



## Vintage Paw (Feb 4, 2016)

I expect them to do a little commemorative bit for him at some point during the proceedings. I get the impression other countries knew about his quirks and sarcasm too.


----------



## stavros (Feb 5, 2016)

I think someone from outside the British Isles complained about him a few years ago, suggesting he was being disrespectful.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Feb 5, 2016)




----------



## Vintage Paw (Feb 5, 2016)

I was talking to a Swedish friend last year about Eurovizsh, and she was saying they can't understand us at all, because if we took it seriously we might have a chance at winning. They take it deadly seriously, and the people they send either already are or become national pop stars. They get a bit angry that we don't take it seriously (although of course she was finding it all rather amusing too). When I said we don't care about coming first though, and revel in it when we come last, she just couldn't understand. 

While I love that we are so irreverent towards it, I would also love us to occasionally field a decent song. And I'd live in hope they'd stage it in Birmingham or something because I don't want to travel to that there dirty London


----------



## stavros (Feb 6, 2016)

Vintage Paw said:


> I was talking to a Swedish friend last year about Eurovizsh, and she was saying they can't understand us at all, because if we took it seriously we might have a chance at winning. They take it deadly seriously, and the people they send either already are or become national pop stars. They get a bit angry that we don't take it seriously (although of course she was finding it all rather amusing too). When I said we don't care about coming first though, and revel in it when we come last, she just couldn't understand.



Pah, what does she know? I mean, who have Sweden ever produced for Eurovision?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Feb 18, 2016)

Biggest change to Eurovision Song Contest voting since 1975


> In previous years the results of the professional juries and viewers have been presented as a _combined_result, each accounting for 50 percent of the final score. From 2016, the professional juries and televoters from each country will each award a_separate _set of points from 1 to 8, 10 and 12. This now means the top 10 countries in both the jury and televote will receive points, adding a new level of excitement for hundreds of millions of viewers in Europe and beyond.



Hmm, I say, hmm


----------



## wtfftw (Feb 18, 2016)

Mayhem.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Feb 18, 2016)

I think this explains it a bit better, and really makes it sound like a bad idea. Basically, the jury votes will go through the normal process, except only the 12 points will be actually announced and all the rest will just appear, like they have done recently with 1-8 points.

Then, _after_ all those votes have been announced, the public votes will be announced country by country, starting with the country that received the fewest points from the public, up to the country that received the most.

Basically, they only want to know the winner right at the end, as opposed to how it's gone in some years when you know the winner after a certain point and the rest becomes formality.

I can see why they're doing it, I'm just not sure I like it.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Feb 18, 2016)

They should stop dicking around with it all the time already. Just leave it alone like it was before the text voting change.


----------



## stdP (Feb 18, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Biggest change to Eurovision Song Contest voting since 1975
> 
> Hmm, I say, hmm



This sounds suspiciously like the sort of behaviour that resulted in My Lovely Horse.


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Feb 18, 2016)

The change surely shows tactical voting in its element?


----------



## Vintage Paw (Feb 26, 2016)

Wot, no Eurovision You Decide thread???

Bianca should have won, but I guessed Joe and Jake would. 

Their song is catchy enough, and they're cute. With the right staging and performance it could do okay.

We are all shaky head man.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Feb 26, 2016)

I had no idea it was on.

Shit don't get real until the semis


----------



## Vintage Paw (Feb 26, 2016)

Just learned Jake is a Stokie. That makes me mildly less perturbed by Bianca not winning.

Woo go Joe and Jake


----------



## ska invita (Feb 28, 2016)

Just checked the Joe and Jake tune - not bad at all by eurovision standards, but it doesnt really peak, it just repeats itself. A key change at the end wouldve been cheesy but wouldve worked - it does need something to drive it on home at the end. I reckon it'll do quite well.


----------



## wtfftw (Feb 28, 2016)

It's nice that they've found a use for some contestants off the voice.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Feb 28, 2016)

I don't think any of the 6 contenders were winners. None had that essential Eurovision hook.

The first song sounded really odd. Her voice pitch didn't harmonise well with the guy who was singing, it just sounded chaotic when it had real potential to sound quite interesting.

The second song was well executed but boring as all fuck.

The third song was pretty enough, but really fucking boring. When I saw the drum I went "ooh!" but it went downhill from there.

The fourth song was good at the beginning, I thought it had some vocal hooks, but when he was singing "Miri-cu-hu-hulll" it sounded like all the air was deflating out of his lungs and there was absolutely no power left in the word after the first syllable.

The fifth song was the best. Her performance was really sound, she absolutely sung her fucking heart out, gave it everything, and it was really solid. I still think it lacked that essential Eurovision hook that the winners tend to have, but it was the best of the bunch.

The sixth song was what I predicted would win. It's catchy, they're cute, it has plenty of energy - that's a good mix. It has a vocal hook, but it doesn't make enough of it for it to be a winner in Sweden. With good staging, tightening up of their performance, etc, they might do alright. Lose the fucking facial hair though, Joe. Or Jake.

We will finish in the bottom half, but we will be near the top of that.

If we'd have picked song five we'd have finished in the top third.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Apr 22, 2016)

Romania expelled from Eurovision Song Contest - BBC News



> Romania has been expelled from the Eurovision Song Contest after its national broadcaster failed to pay outstanding debts dating back to 2007.
> 
> The European Broadcasting Union (EBU) claimed the Romanian public service broadcaster Televiziunea Romana (TVR) owes 16 million Swiss francs.
> 
> ...


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 8, 2016)

For those of you who like to enhance their annual Eurovision experience with a wee wager or two, you might like to check out some of the jaw dropping prices on Marathonbet, who are offering odds of up to 1000/1 on some songs, and also have market-beating odds on many of the more fancied countries. Obviously some of the outsiders won't qualify for the grand final, but at odds of 700/1 or 1000/1 you might think it's worth having 50p each way on some of them, because the odds are bound to shorten (drastically in some cases) on the entries that do make it through in this week's semi-finals.

Sadly you'll no longer be able to get the 100/1 that I got yesterday on the UK entry as their odds have shortened to 70/1 - although that price is still better than the odds many other bookies are offering - so I guess my £2 e/w must've really skewed that market!

Unlike with sports, for the Eurovision the bookies have no previous form to work with, and they sometimes get it badly wrong, so I always think it's worth a few quid (even though I'm no great judge either, so I'm not giving any tips!). And with the new voting system introduced this year (see posts above) it could be even more interesting and unpredictable - I doubt that anyone really has a clue how it's going to go. In my humble opinion, from what I've seen of this year's entries this doesn't look like being a 'vintage' year - there doesn't seem to me to be anything as standout as Conchita Wurst or the Swedish song last year, for example. The Russian song is the bookies hot fave at around 6/4, but personally I think it's a dog, and even if it was the greatest song ever I wouldn't touch it at those pathetic odds.

So happy punting, and may the best song win (not Russia!).


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 8, 2016)

Russia is the bookies' fave, although France was for a while, and their fave does often win. It's not a bad song, but it's not my favourite either (same for France's).

Another way to guess what's going to be good is look at the view counts on Youtube. In recent years, those with the highest counts do best. 

My vote goes to San Marino. What a great song. It's a cross between Barry White and Sebastien Tellier. Which, frankly, means it's A1 Gold Super Top Class.

This year is the first year in a while that I'm not embarrassed by our entry. I think it's quite catchy. We'll end in the top half, for once. Him indoors (who is a massive Eurovision fan and does a round up beforehand of his views and predictions) reckons we'll be top 10, but I'm sceptical. Plus, one of them is a Stokie, so I have to support them.

Still, San Marino ftw.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 8, 2016)

Vintage Paw said:


> My vote goes to San Marino. What a great song. It's a cross between Barry White and Sebastien Tellier. Which, frankly, means it's A1 Gold Super Top Class.



Right now that San Marino song is one you can get 1000/1 on Marathonbet! I also think it might do really well.


----------



## wtfftw (May 8, 2016)

The semi finals are on bbc4.  they were a BBC three thing innit?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 8, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> The semi finals are on bbc4.  they were a BBC three thing innit?


Aye, but the Eurovision semis aren't gonna be relegated to an 'online channel'.

Now they're right where they belong on a high culture channel


----------



## wtfftw (May 8, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Aye, but the Eurovision semis aren't gonna be relegated to an 'online channel'.
> 
> Now they're right where they belong on a high culture channel


Listed in the guardian like it's bbc2


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 8, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> Listed in the guardian like it's bbc2


The song Prince never got to write


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 8, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> The song Prince never got to write



Someone needs to start a thread for "Best Post of the Day" - and I nominate this one.

And yours, Lord Camomile.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Ugh, I forgot we'd have to deal with Scott Mills.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)




----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

So obviously fake.

I mean, why CG a red balloon??


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


>


Heh, I was fully expecting to be alone on here!

Christ, why all the kids??


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

evening music lovers


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

"Sweden are the giants of Eurovision... and just one win away from matching Ireland's total"... So, that makes Ireland titans or something


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

"Eurovish"

No.  Stop it.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

If anyone wants a scorecard for tonight's semi here are the Excel and PDF versions.

Once the running order for the final is confirmed I'll have a shiny, pretty Final version ready to go.

Excel: Dropbox - Eurovision Scorecard Semifinal 1.xlsx

PDF: Dropbox - Eurovision Scorecard Semifinal 1.pdf


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I love commitment to a pun


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Ohh, I think I remember her from last time! Proper personality as opposed to the usual pleasant but bland folk they normally have.

That Europe gag was a bit laboured though... Unless they do it _every_ time someone says the word Europe.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> That Europe gag was a bit laboured though...


I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were new to the concept of Eurovision.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Sounds like nerves are restricting her voice.

Ha, but points for getting "brrap" into Eurovision!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were new to the concept of Eurovision.


This isn't The Jay Leno Show, I'm not here for the fucking opening monologue


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

she makes the chorus sound like a threat


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

What just happened?! It seemed like everything skipped forward, was that just my feed?


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

has she sung it away yet?
long three minutes


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Despite the slight issues with the voice thought it was pretty good.

Greek rap! Bring it on!!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

God make the commentary stop


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Right, they're saying something is happening tonight; no idea what, but it's definitely "tonight".

Sadly unless they start listing menu items that may be as far as we get.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Very happy to see astronomy and fitness being promoted


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

The score I gave Greece for choreography just doubled


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

errrr..


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Thus far I think every entry has started flat


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BAKING


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Thus far I think every entry has started flat


and thats a good thing 

with the rise of the rising sun
join with us and build utopia land

true talk


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Fit the song to the singer or the singer to the song, Europe, for fuck's sake!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

That skirt makes her look like a Sim with a pixelated groin...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

His outfit looks like it was made in the kitchen by his mum.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

Jsut read that Brexit Vote has just gone up 2% in the last 15 minutes


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Hello Eurovision


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

There is one note she just can't hit, sadly it features quite prominently in the chorus.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> Jsut read that Brexit Vote has just gone up 2% in the last 15 minutes


Heh, I did wonder how many times the referendum would get referenced this week...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Has this man been eating lit cigarettes??


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Shrieks of laughter and applause for the awkward backing whistlers!!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I'm definitely lagged I think, Freddy only just started singing here.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Oh, hey! Big drum! Lots of Eurovision bingo players just marked off a square!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> I'm definitely lagged I think, Freddy only just started singing here.


So sad to see him mauled by the tiger at the end. They shouldn't have been flicking lemon juice at it really, really tortured metaphor.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Hungary get my lowest score so far, in spite of the hilarious whistlers and the fab drummer


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Woman is going to war in sci-fi feudal Japan dressed as a tree.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

i couldnt dislike that hungarian one - actually has a chance i reckon


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> i couldnt dislike that hungarian one - actually has a chance i reckon


I succeeded where you failed


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I'm just going to start muting between songs for the sake of my blood pressure.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Fuck's sake, totally missed the costume change, such is my commitment to snarkiness


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Vivienne Westwood meets Frozen meets Bjork


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Fuck's sake, totally missed the costume change, such is my commitment to snarkiness


Two hooded blokes snuck up and pulled at her from each side, it was somewhat underwhelming compared to the actual dresses.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

shes no bjork


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

like a more unlistenable cranberries


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> like a more unlistenable cranberries


THANK YOU, I was trying to put my finger on that.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Gotta say, the two presenters are commendably charismatic.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

this cab thing is shit

GET ON WITH IT


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> this cab thing is shit
> 
> GET ON WITH IT


How so many of my nights have ended


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

It gave me a chance to try and catch up though.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Yes Netherlands, entering an honest to goodness song again!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Oh I love this, Douwe Bob isn't too bad either


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Yes Netherlands, entering an honest to goodness song again!


sub-country 
country is never a good sound to go for in eurovision
not euro enough


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> sub-country
> country is never a good sound to go for in eurovision


The Netherlands care not one fuck 

Not as good as previous entries. Was the lead singer super-baked??


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

wasnt bad but its not eurovison material IMO


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Well, she at least seems to be able to handle the song.

Kinda dull though.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

"What about special effects? Would you like smoke? Or fire bursts? Strobes?"

"Yes"


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Ha, very fun for the TV audience but the crowd in the arena just watched her stand still


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Don't get why that one's so well fancied


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Wind machine and holograms?

We have the full-house.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

Shes no Beyonce either


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Holy fuck! Between this guy and Hungary...!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Three seconds in and I'm already almost certain this will be my favourite for the whole competition


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> Shes no Beyonce either


Did someone suggest she was??

Quite like this one, like a camp Leonard Cohen


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Poor bastard, entirely clueless


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> wasnt bad but its not eurovison material IMO


now THIS is eurovision material


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I cannot stress enough how much I want this to get through.  This is by far my favourite Eurovision entry in years.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Did someone suggest she was??


i think she thought she was


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> i think she thought she was


Ah, right you are.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Always like a bit of back projection


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Definitely wins best use of scenery!


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Sod off Russia, this is so shit


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I wasn't impressed at first but I like his little poses


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Power surge as an entire continent goes to switch the kettle on...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Fine voice, but dear god this is plodding...


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Is she "aaaaah!"-ing or is she trying to cover her own yawning due to the sheer dullness of her song?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Did they just cut to a long shot so we wouldn't see her take her hair band out??


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

A covers band on Eurovision! Spectaaaaacular!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Waking up alone like a man that failed - that's me in the morning, right? Lol, lolz!

Lolz?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

"She had a boyfriend, looked like a girlfriend..." - Mills called it.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I was hoping the song would be a bit better, they seem really talented but it's just a bit meh.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Not native language but not English?? Have we ever seen the like?!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Another one that's going absolutely nowhere; unless the lyrics are calling for the violent overthrowing of capitalism it's instantly forgettable.

In fact, I've already forgotten it and I'm still listening to it.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Not native language but not English?? Have we ever seen the like?!


It doesn't fit into my spreadsheet


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Baby face, deep voice, polo neck and long jacket... It's the Estonian Rick Astley!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

That suit seems tailored to a different person


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

It seems like it's been written in a key he struggles to reach too.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

See? When you bring it up an octave he can belt it out, he is _not_ comfortable singing at that register.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> It seems like it's been written in a key he struggles to reach too.


That seems to be something of a requirement this year.

I have changed channel to adverts rather than sit through this...


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

You chose well, they've cut to Mel interviewing someone. 

She annoys me more than Mills, I didn't think that was possible.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Bless her trying to give it some 'tude dressed in gold spandex at Eurovision


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Gonna take a miracle - too right, she's no chance


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

What's up with the spangly american football uniforms her dancers are wearing?


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

good chorus that last one
catchy
wo ho


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Wasn't it Montenegro who gave us the dub rapping spaceman?

Oh, this got many degrees more bad when they started singing. Should just keep it instrumental.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

the live video editing is really impressive tonight


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Are they singing in an entirely different key to the backing track?


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> the live video editing is really impressive tonight


Malta have really just one-upped everyone on that front.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> the live video editing is really impressive tonight


I was thinking that!

That was reassuringly batshit. And Mills can fuck right off.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

i quite liked that last montenegro one, though its got zero chance


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Batshit


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Be honest, how many of these will you remember two minutes after they've finished? So many are just dull and indistinguishable these days.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Bosnia telling me to shut the fuck up in one cellist and her outfit!


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

im tired but i quite liked the shadows one

thats the third tune with a false finsih tonight


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Barbed wire and long leather coat - tasteful imagery!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

ska invita said:


> thats the third tune with a false finsih tonight


I swear I'm not just piggybacking, but I also thought that too!

Fucking barbed wire! Xena warrior cellist! Ok better...


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Ahhhh Malta....


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Suddenly, rap!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Xena warrior cellist!


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

B&H and a packet of rizla


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> Suddenly, rap!


Almost said "everyone loves surprise rap!" until I realised just how close to dodgy it was


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

I always find the "single interpretative dancer" a curious choice...


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Crap song but I love the flailing man.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

almost the funky drummer break


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> Crap song but I love the flailing man.


He danced himself to death!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

And I'm going to make another cuppa...


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

If anyone is in a country where you can vote tonight, please vote for San Marino for me?  I will return the favour on Thursday!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Montenegro again deserve to go through for doing something different.

And they probably won't, again.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Oh wait, didn't we do this last time they were in Sweden.

I already hate these two.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I liked the dubstep spacemen they fielded a few years ago but I really hated this years attempt from them.

I don't know why but Malta's entry has changed a lot in the last few days, they had gone really high-concept with a machine that tracks her movements so it can project onto a long train on her dress as she danced around the stage.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> If anyone is in a country where you can vote tonight, please vote for San Marino for me?  I will return the favour on Thursday!


Still available at 1000/1....!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Joe or Jake: "Well you can't get much weirder than us, can you?"

In a world where weird is synonymous with bland...

Edit: Ok they do actually seem like nice guys, I'm just not a fan of their song.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> Joe or Jake: "Well you can't get much weirder than us, can you?"
> 
> In a world where weird is synonymous with bland...


Fuck me, did they really say that??


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

I do not watch Eurovision to listen to these people talk.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Fuck me, did they really say that??


Yes but to be fair it was only half of them


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I muted it again, oh look, she's pretending to be a fucking baker again


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

It is being reported on Twitter that they just did the Europe-the-continent-Europe-the-band joke again for all of the lucky countries that get to watch the interval act rather than having to put up with this shit like we do.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

red rose said:


> It is being reported on Twitter that they just did the Europe-the-continent-Europe-the-band joke again for all of the lucky countries that get to watch the interval act rather than having to put up with this shit like we do.


I heard it when Mills was talking and assumed it was a pre-record!

Why don't we get to see the interval act??


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Weirdest episode of Family Fortunes ever.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Why don't we get to see the interval act??


I know, right? I didn't even know there was a proper interval act for the semis.

All this time we've had that awful bus thing and all the other terrible filler and the rest of Europe gets a specially programmed act!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I quite like Spain's entry


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 10, 2016)

Ignoring the semis as usual. Don't want to spoil the surprise now, do I? 

Might have to dust off a few of the old favourites tonite, mind...


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Oooooh Margaret Berger!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Yay, its Jon!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Europe doesn't know what the fuck it's doing.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Austria FFS!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

All the most interesting acts being left out.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

Austria? Really?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

BUUUUUUUUUUULLSHIIIIIIIIIIT.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

Utter pish.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

I'm gonna make my own Eurovision, with blackjack, and San Marino!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

A travesty has befallen Europe tonight.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2016)

They're fucking far from my 10 finalists, mate.


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2016)

None of the 5 acts I scored highest got through


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 10, 2016)

Absolutely gutted for San Marino.

Barry White meets Sebastien Tellier. Perfect Eurovision fodder. Loved it. Sadly, the imbeciles who were voting tonight didn't.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 10, 2016)

How the actual fuck did that country reject from the netherlands get through?


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 10, 2016)

The half time act was a really moving piece on the refugee crisis, apparently. But we got meatballs.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> All the most interesting acts being left out.


and that is why you have to watch the semis


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 10, 2016)

It seems like I should have watched the semis all along...maybe that way I would dislike the farce of the finals less, or more.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 10, 2016)

All the interesting stuff is in the semis. Europeans have terrible taste. hashtag brexit


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> It seems like I should have watched the semis all along...maybe that way I would dislike the farce of the finals less, or more.


Next one is on Thursday
8pm


Spoiler


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 10, 2016)

This is, no lie, my favourite week of the year.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2016)

Vintage Paw said:


> Absolutely gutted for San Marino.
> 
> Barry White meets Sebastien Tellier. Perfect Eurovision fodder. Loved it. Sadly, the imbeciles who were voting tonight didn't.


I reckon it would've done better if we'd been voting tonight (the UK that is, not U75!), but I reckon we've got the better of the 2 semis to vote on. I wasn't expecting much from tonight's lot and it turned out to be even more underwhelming than I thought it would be - the poorest semifinal I can remember watching.


----------



## wtfftw (May 11, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Baby face, deep voice, polo neck and long jacket... It's the Estonian Rick Astley!


crossed with this big brother contestant.


----------



## wtfftw (May 11, 2016)

fucking hell europe.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 12, 2016)

If this doesn't make you vote BREMAIN, I don't know what will


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Did they say "A naked man serenading a goat"? I'm so tired I'm barely with it and I can't work out if I misheard that.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

OH MY GOD they're doing a musical number.  It's fantastic.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

This is amazing. 


I'm both stoned and premenstrual btw so I'm bursting with love at this and I will probably cry at something.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

They didn't even save this for saturday


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 12, 2016)

I want to vote for this to win


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I'm so impressed.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

They are fucking _nailing_ this.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

He's certainly going for it...


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I'm imagining he's really laurence llewelyn bowen


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

But did he get it?


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

Is this supposed to sound like this?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> OH MY GOD they're doing a musical number.  It's fantastic.





wtfftw said:


> This is amazing.
> 
> 
> I'm both stoned and premenstrual btw so I'm bursting with love at this and I will probably cry at something.





Indeliblelink said:


> I want to vote for this to win





wtfftw said:


> I'm so impressed.





red rose said:


> They are fucking _nailing_ this.


I'M STUCK ON THE SERVICE DESK AT WOOOOORK!!


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

*That's* a new costume trick...

Shame it doesn't distract from how out of time she seems to be.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'M STUCK ON THE SERVICE DESK AT WOOOOORK!!


Great title for our entry next year!


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'M STUCK ON THE SERVICE DESK AT WOOOOORK!!




I missed tuesday so had to catch up and read this thread at the same pace.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'M STUCK ON THE SERVICE DESK AT WOOOOORK!!


It was like the opening number from the Oscars or something but designed to explain what Eurovision is to new viewers in America and China. It was very well done


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile here is the song for later viewing


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Giant hula hoops bingo square.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

wtf


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Ivan the Terrible


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I am not enjoying this.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Did they say "A naked man serenading a goat"? I'm so tired I'm barely with it and I can't work out if I misheard that.


Ohhh a naked man serenading a _wolf._ That's much more sensible.

I quite hope this makes it through, its so weird


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I really do wish she'd shut up


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> I missed tuesday so had to catch up and read this thread at the same pace.


I figured as much when a number of my posts started getting likes well after the end of the show  


red rose said:


> Lord Camomile here is the song for later viewing


Much obliged.

Oh good, tune in just in time for the interviews, where Mel makes quite a nuanced pun to someone for whom English is at least a second language.

*mute*


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

"I wish I could stop it" - NEVER open your Eurovision entry like this. There are too many people like me out there just waiting to pounce on such an open goal.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

"Not now love, I'm performing at fucking Eurovision!"

Men...


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I quite like serbia. More than quite a lot that are already through.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

This could be a strong contender, methinks...

This does not constitute liking it.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I really like Serbia's entry, good singing, good outfits, random dancing man, key change. It has everything


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

fist like you mean it?


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Stop calling it cunting _Eurovish_


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

His voice doesn't suit an anthem.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

TRON! TROOOOOOOON!


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Nice jacket though...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Nice jacket though...


Really? I thought he looked like a middle-aged Marty McFly wannabe. Suede waistcoat, leather jacket mashup.

Oh christ, that note for "suuuuuun" is just grating _every fucking time!_


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

There was the elements of a decent song in there, but they were all underfed.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I'm not a fan of the song but that sounds like something Europe might like.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Wow, I want to know what lyric inspired that "behind the back tickle" gesture!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

"Donner, donner, donner, donner, kebab!"


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Kebab traume


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Kama kama kama kama kama chameleon


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

jesus.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I love the arm movements in this one, she is nailing the vocals but I can't stop focussing on all the little poking movements and wavy things she's doing


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> jesus.


Maybe Nicky Byrne did actually take us back to the 80s! 

To be honest, for what it is I think it's pretty decent. At least it feels like... woah! Ending!

Um...


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Forget what I said about nailing the vocals...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

"Lorraine Kelly's let herself go" - fuck off, cuntface


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Forget what I said about nailing the vocals...


It was going so well...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

All these comments are going to come back to haunt me when I enter


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I think my dad had that jacket in the 80s


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

trampoline bingo spot?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

This kid saw the Billy Jean video on YouTube.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Chris Martin also an influence...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Ok, that high note has broken my connection twice so far 

edit: three times! What the fuck?! iPlayer won't let me past that note!!


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

His falsetto crashed my stream, I can't get it back


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Ok, that high note has broken my connection twice so far


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Seriously, I can't get past it!  


red rose said:


> His falsetto crashed my stream, I can't get it back


 Witchcraft!!


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I've restarted iplayer twice and still cant


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Ok I've even tried opening it chrome instead of the app, its totally fucked.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

There's been a lot of winking this evening. It's been quite unnerving.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Well, this is bobbins


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Ok I've even tried opening it chrome instead of the app, its totally fucked.


balls balls.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Tits


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

and a topless man.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Neither Firefox or Chrome are having any of it


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Neither Firefox or Chrome are having any of it
> 
> View attachment 86779


One more and that's a Francis Bacon mate!


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Nor the app for android on my phone on tablet.  I can't find anyone else complaining about it on Twitter though, maybe its just us


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

Costume/props/staging points


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Nor the app for android on my phone on tablet.  I can't find anyone else complaining about it on Twitter though, maybe its just us


Yeah, I couldn't find anything either.

It's back here now.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile there's a stream here:

2016 Eurovision Song Contest - Semi-Final 2


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

what country are you two on?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Lord Camomile there's a stream here:
> 
> 2016 Eurovision Song Contest - Semi-Final 2


I'm back on the iPlayer. Still not on for you?

Oh, wait... hm, just a buffer


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

denmark in real time i think?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> what country are you two on?


Denmark now.


wtfftw said:


> denmark in real time i think?


Right, so I'm back live and just missed another couple. Bah


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Denmark needs to relax their facial muscles, all of them are squinting and scowling.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I feel like they'll do better than blue did.


ETA I can't remember how blue did.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

If I ever wrote a Eurovision song I'd be so tempted to po-facedly write "key change" into the lyrics.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I feel like Petra was planning on having a bit more of a back and forth with Nicky Byrne but she ran out of time and so it looks like she just went over to point out he's older than most performers.


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 12, 2016)

Like this one, future garage vibe


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Well, at least it's different.

Pretty floor.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

This is all a bit much.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I really like her outfit, but that's about all I like of this one.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

How the fuck is that second fave?


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Interpretive dance


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

I'm wary of being too snarky because nerves must play a part in what is a pretty unique situation, but surely one of the criteria for your entry is that the singer(s) can comfortably hold the tune live?


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Does this song have two different time signatures?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Does this song have two different time signatures?


At least


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Every time they push their shitty "scandinavian drama" all it does is ensure that I am closing my iplayer app for the duration of the interval.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I'm quite liking georgia and not even in a eurovision way.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Nuff strobes.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 12, 2016)

Ah shit I forgot this was on. Just caught a bit of Georgia


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

"Straight to the airport, I think" Fuck off Mills


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

A little 'turn of the milennium indie-rock'. I used to listen to stuff like that in my late teens/early 20s.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)




----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Albania wins weirdest dress IMO, and that includes that weird massive one that got pulled off Armenia.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I've turned albania down.

I've also stopped looking. woeful underuse of the set.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

It is rather meh.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

That dress reminds me of a 1950s Cadilac with fins and fish tail things


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

I wish mel and mills were mutable. like red button only inane shutthefuckupalready eurovish experience.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Just one more to go... Phew!


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I rather like it, she is a much stronger singer than most of the acts who have come before her.  It's just a shame they've sewn her into a 24 carat straight jacket.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Bugger, that Fererro Rocher line raised a smirk


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

billie's stylist this decade.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> I rather like it, she is a much stronger singer than most of the acts who have come before her.  It's just a shame they've sewn her into a 24 carat straight jacket.


I dunno, I thought she was a little reedy. Plus (not necessarily her fault), the song went absolutely nowhere.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Ok yeah, belgium FTW already.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 12, 2016)

Bring back Wogan


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Bugger, that Fererro Rocher line raised a smirk


and then even more annoying as argh


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Oh christ, I kind of like this


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

This is fucking fabulous.  It's all funky but still has the Eurovision cheese factor.  Plus she's talented and clearly having *so* much fun on stage.

Basically I've been tired and really fucking grumpy all evening and the iPlayer fail nearly made me throw my computer across the room, and this has brought me out of it.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Now THAT'S Eurovision baby!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

It wasn't Another One Bites the Dust, it was... ah fuck it, one of those other ones. Like the early non-agressive hip-hop. Fuck it, who do I mean.

Anyway, it wasn't fucking Queen


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

So if Tuesday night's anything to go by, Belgium are fucked!


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

how many go through?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Dr. Furface said:


> So if Tuesday night's anything to go by, Belgium are fucked!


Nah, they were very 'acceptable'. All the good ones from Tuesday were too outside the very narrow box.

Woah, Poland! What the...


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It wasn't Another One Bites the Dust, it was... ah fuck it, one of those other ones. Like the early non-agressive hip-hop. Fuck it, who do I mean.
> 
> Anyway, it wasn't fucking Queen


It's bugging me, it's definitely not Another One Bites the Dust


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

The man who broke iPlayer


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Ok, catching up with the acts I missed, Slovenia seem quite impressive.  I like the song but I'm watching the music video instead of the live performance


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

slovenia had a topless man spinning on a stick.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I'm gutted I missed Bulgaria, it looks well interesting


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It wasn't Another One Bites the Dust, it was... ah fuck it, one of those other ones. Like the early non-agressive hip-hop. Fuck it, who do I mean.
> 
> Anyway, it wasn't fucking Queen





red rose said:


> It's bugging me, it's definitely not Another One Bites the Dust


 Obviously very disco influenced, but with a sort of De La Soul or Sugarhill Gang vibe on it too.

Like I know what the fuck I'm talking about


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

We've all muted, right?


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

what are the rest of europe getting while this shit is on?


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Apparently Eurovision are live streaming on Youtube so it shouldn't be too hard to switch to the good stuff. Watching Bulgaria made my computer overheat though so I'm having to wait


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Honestly, they should just give the regular presenting to these guys.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Flicked over to YouTube, I honestly don't understand why we're not getting to watch this


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Following dancing robots, Petra: "that was called man vs machine, though as a single woman I can tell you that sometimes it isn't a choice" 

And BBC give us.. oh who gives a fuck.

We also got to hear Mans' 'British' accent


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I'm going to petition the BBC to give us the proper coverage next year.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

I bloody love the Germans at Eurovision.

At least through the prism of football and Eurovision, Germans just always seem so much more comfortable and confident within themselves than the British do


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Italy once again doing a decent line in "not throwing it but not gonna win".


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Italy looks like they hired a children's TV show to do their set dressing.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Gawd bless this guy - a statistician forced into public speaking in one of the most hysterical live events around


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I bloody love the Germans at Eurovision.
> 
> At least through the prism of football and Eurovision, Germans just always seem so much more comfortable and confident within themselves than the British do


Yeah I really liked the German one last year. Sadly no one else seemed to.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Ha, YouTube is ahead of iPlayer!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

I'm still not happy with Australia being back.

Dangerous. Precedent.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Ha, fuck you Mills.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'm still not happy with Australia being back.
> 
> Dangerous. Precedent.


Its a good thing, they go with the Eurovision flow.


----------



## wtfftw (May 12, 2016)

i'm happy now


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

red rose said:


> Its a good thing, they go with the Eurovision flow.


What about the US? Japan? New Zealand? Cuba? Botswana? Iran? Malaysia?

What if they're all "oh, hey, we like Eurovision too, can we come play?"?

Thin. Edge. Wedge.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

Thank christ, for a minute I didn't think Belgium were going through.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Right, time to go home, I've got to be back here in less than 12 hours...


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

"Present the voting in a completely new way" on Saturday?

I don't like change! What if it's not lagged and awkward anymore?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 12, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Biggest change to Eurovision Song Contest voting since 1975
> 
> 
> Hmm, I say, hmm





Lord Camomile said:


> I think this explains it a bit better, and really makes it sound like a bad idea. Basically, the jury votes will go through the normal process, except only the 12 points will be actually announced and all the rest will just appear, like they have done recently with 1-8 points.
> 
> Then, _after_ all those votes have been announced, the public votes will be announced country by country, starting with the country that received the fewest points from the public, up to the country that received the most.
> 
> ...






red rose said:


> "Present the voting in a completely new way" on Saturday?
> 
> I don't like change! What if it's not lagged and awkward anymore?


See above.


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2016)

I missed that, sorry


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2016)

Some say that the songs with the most views on YouTube tend to do well. If that's true then you should put a fiver on that Polish piece of shit right now...


----------



## hash tag (May 13, 2016)

What if the aussies won, would we all have to go down under for next year?
I had heard the Chinese are very interested 
I think it would be much better if everyone sang in their own language, that is unless English is their own language now


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 13, 2016)

hash tag said:


> What if the aussies won, would we all have to go down under for next year?
> I had heard the Chinese are very interested


They and the US are both broadcasting it live for the first time this year.

This is how it starts!

As I've said before, I've no problem with a global contest using the same format, I just think it's pointless calling it Eurovision if countries from outside of Europe take part.


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2016)

and justin timberlake is performing.


----------



## hash tag (May 13, 2016)

Is he the British entry?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2016)

hash tag said:


> Is he the British entry?


In his fucking dreams!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh, I <3 JT 

My usual Eurovision party partner has fucked off to Bournemouth so I will see you all here later, drunk


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

JT ftw 

I will be watching and drinking heavily throughout


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I will also be here tonight as my usuals are out of the country and I'm hermitting after family excess this afternoon. drinking and weeding.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'm still not happy with Australia being back.
> 
> Dangerous. Precedent.



I'm still sore about Israel being admitted. 

The reason Australia have managed to ride roughshod over obvious geographical considerations is, I believe, because it is very popular over there. A few years ago I started explaining to an antipodean at work about Eurovision, imagining she would never have heard of it. She told me it was massively popular, with Australians being particularly enamoured of Terry Wogan's arch commentary. Apparently, one year they screened it with an Aussie commentator, and there were so many complaints they had to reshow it with the Woge-ster restored.

I'm still nostalgic for the Cold War days when most countries sang in their own language and the communist countries didn't enter, making it a manageable length.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Australia have been showing Eurovision for over 30 years, but the specific reason they were able to enter was because, for some reason, the Australian broadcaster SBS is an Associate member of the European Broadcasting Union (every country's participating broadcaster has to be either a member or associate member of the EBU). After being invited to enter last year, Australia applied to enter again in 2016, and the EBU Refrence Group - the governing body of Eurovision - voted their approval, but only for this year, not permanently (no decision has been made on that yet).


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

I've listened to a few on YT, but not gonna sit through the whole lot twice in one day. Are there no good novelty songs this year? Nothing about pirates, or moustaches? Or pirates with moustaches? 

Money on Australia/Ukraine forecast, and the UK finishing between 13th and 16th.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Which urbz will be doing a live chat on it? And if so, on this thread?

I'm in!


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

hash tag said:


> What if the aussies won, would we all have to go down under for next year?
> I had heard the Chinese are very interested
> I think it would be much better if everyone sang in their own language, that is unless English is their own language now



I seem to remember - and I may be wrong - that in 1974, when Abba won singing in English, they passed a rule saying in subsequent years countries would have to sing in their own language. I'm not sure how long it was enforced, but it has now slipped to the point where only France seems to retain their own _argot_.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> JT ftw
> 
> I will be watching and drinking heavily throughout



Douze pints!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> I'm still sore about Israel being admitted.
> 
> The reason Australia have managed to ride roughshod over obvious geographical considerations is, I believe, because it is very popular over there. A few years ago I started explaining to an antipodean at work about Eurovision, imagining she would never have heard of it. She told me it was massively popular, with Australians being particularly enamoured of Terry Wogan's arch commentary. Apparently, one year they screened it with an Aussie commentator, and there were so many complaints they had to reshow it with the Woge-ster restored.
> 
> I'm still nostalgic for the Cold War days when most countries sang in their own language and the communist countries didn't enter, making it a manageable length.





Dr. Furface said:


> Australia have been showing Eurovision for over 30 years, but the specific reason they were able to enter was because, for some reason, the Australian broadcaster SBS is an Associate member of the European Broadcasting Union (every country's participating broadcaster has to be either a member or associate member of the EBU). After being invited to enter last year, Australia applied to enter again in 2016, and the EBU Refrence Group - the governing body of Eurovision - voted their approval, but only for this year, not permanently (no decision has been made on that yet).


I know why they've been allowed in. Last year it was a nice gesture for an anniversary, and I really enjoyed having them involved. But letting them come back opens the door to other countries wanting in, and how can you tell them no?

It was suggested that each year has a 'guest slot' for a non-Euro nation, which I thought was a good idea. Obviously the whole concept of nations is an artificial construct, but if you're going to base a contest around it you've got to stick to it, otherwise just stop calling it Eurovision and let everyone enter.

/grump over


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 14, 2016)

i usually tweet along, but this year typing is a little more difficult so my responses may be few and far between.

I have ice cream though. And in honour of Mel, little scotch eggs.


----------



## hash tag (May 14, 2016)

I see there is a two hour warm up on a television music channel, that's if.....


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I'm back where it all started, at home with me mam.

Wouldn't be Eurovision without being snarky on the internet


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

hash tag said:


> What if the aussies won, would we all have to go down under for next year?


No, the Aussies would host it in conjunction with a European broadcaster and it would take place somewhere within Europe. I've no idea how that would be worked out, but if Oz win tonight - and they're well fancied - we might find out quite soon.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'm back where it all started, at home with me mam.
> 
> Wouldn't be Eurovision without being snarky on the internet



My mum and I got sloshed on g&t and roared with glee the year Lordi won


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

It's happened before, I was watching the Eurovision documentary on iPlayer last night and we've hosted it on behalf of other nations a couple of times when they've won and haven't been able to host.

My partner, who is not a fan of Eurovision but who has offered to show an interest in it every second year, went out today and came home with food from as many different European nations as possible, as well as decorate-your-own person bunting, so we can colour in the little people with the flags/costumes of the performers for the show.

For someone who doesn't really like Eurovision he's really getting into it. I'm going to convert him to the cause


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Also, scorecard for the final for those who would like it

Dropbox - Eurovision Scorecard

And the super-excellent Eurovision Bingo card I was just send

Eurovision Game - Scandinavia and the World


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

Dr. Furface said:


> No, the Aussies would host it in conjunction with a European broadcaster and it would take place somewhere within Europe. I've no idea how that would be worked out, but if Oz win tonight - and they're well fancied - we might find out quite soon.


If Oz win (I pray not) next year it'll be in Germany with an Oz production crew.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)




----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I'm so excited.


----------



## Libertad (May 14, 2016)

And we're off...


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Woohoo!


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Those are some interesting outfits...


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> Those are some interesting outfits...


sexy pervy marshmallow people ftw!


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Right, game on!


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> sexy pervy marshmallow people ftw!


I hope I don't have a heart attack or something and that is the last thing I ever say.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

That is the worst dress I have ever seen. Two sequinned pillowcases from a teenagers bedroom stit
ched at right angles?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

My mum is politely tolerating me giving her a running commentary on what I think of each act


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Belgium first! Interesting... 

Producers wanting to get off to a good start.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Someone wants Mark Ronson to produce them


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I said a hip, hop, the hippie to the hippie...


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Belgium make me want to rock in a dark corner listening to Sisters of Mercy. And not in a good way. Kylie would sneer at this ffs.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

This is awful


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

I want a 2 piece silver short suit


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> I want a 2 piece silver short suit


I've just been to put mine on.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

You're all philistines, this is clearly the best act.  I'm well fucked off that they've put them first, they've barely got a chance from that position.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

twentythreedom said:


> This is awful


It was one of the ones I preferred from the semis


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Ballad


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> You're all philistines, this is clearly the best act.  I'm well fucked off that they've put them first, they've barely got a chance from that position.


My mum's said that she saw some data (well, an article talking about the data...) that said contrary to popular opinion there's been more success from acts at the beginning than the end.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It was one of the ones I preferred from the semis


You had a semi?


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Ticked off first Eurovision bingo card for cryptic reference to weather as analogy for feelings.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

These lyrics were written by a 13 year old emo


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Ballad


There's a lot of these. Most as boring as this.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

That is a ghastly frock. Same goes for the song.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Eurodirge


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Christ


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Aaaaaaah-aaaaaaaah-aaaaaaawful


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

I stand .... I don't  sorry


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It was one of the ones I preferred from the semis



"Semi"? Fnarr, fnarr!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Meh


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Jeez, take a seat love


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Is this about overcrowding on the Czech railway system?


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

zzzzzzzzzz


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Hey Holland, this is Eurovision, not the Grand Ole Opry!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Not a great fan of this one, but still appreciate Netherlands simply entering an actual song. I think them, Germany and Montenegro are the acts I look forward to most each year


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

ugh. this song has just reminded me that Nashville got cancelled.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Buffering


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

I quite like songs like this. Not Eurovisiony, of course, but it's the best we've had so far.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Holy shit wtf

Eta I mean this dude not the WiFi


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I like the song but he clearly loves himself a little bit too much.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Ten seconds of pause? What a tease!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

omfg already?1 what channel??????


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

He winked at me ....

fuck that


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I think Azerbaijan would win a lot of points from me if they just kept saying their name - such a good word to say


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Love the no frock!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

She is v beautiful but this is a bleee tune :yawn:


----------



## FiFi (May 14, 2016)

I've just commented to the Resident Teen that he seemed to be aiming to sound like the Eagles but just missed. She just gave me a blank look, which makes me feel REALLY old now!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> omfg already?1 what channel??????



BBC 1 obvs


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh no - did I miss Mans at the start?


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

was the trivia that she's off their the voice?


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Anyone want to bet on how many songs will be in English?


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Ace outfit.  Shit song.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> BBC 1 obvs


It crept up on me and I'm confused. Last time I looked at the clock today it was 1136 or something


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

From a distance, she looks like she's wrapped in cellotape


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> It crept up on me and I'm confused. Last time I looked at the clock today it was 1136 or something


today has gone super fast.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

What do you mean he was miming


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I really love the golden line-backer in this one


----------



## FiFi (May 14, 2016)

weltweit said:


> Anyone want to bet on how many songs will be in English?


All of them except France!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Nine Bob Note said:


> From a distance, she looks like she's wrapped in cellotape


It's going to smart getting it off


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

weltweit said:


> Anyone want to bet on how many songs will be in English?


Given that many of us have heard them all already... yes


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

FiFi said:


> I've just commented to the Resident Teen that he seemed to be aiming to sound like the Eagles but just missed. She just gave me a blank look, which makes me feel REALLY old now!



The Eagles' last album was (I think) 1977. What were you expecting?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Oh no - did I miss Mans at the start?


Yeah but he didn't sing it - you'll get that later!


----------



## FiFi (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> The Eagles' last album was (I think) 1977. What were you expecting?


Not you as well!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Dr. Furface said:


> Yeah but he didn't sing it - you'll get that later!


<rubshandsinacougarishmanner>


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

The Man who ate a thousand lit cigarettes.

It sounds like every note is a struggle.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh this is dull too. Have I missed _anything _good and lively? Quick so I can catch up on youtube.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> <rubshandsinacougarishmanner>


what do you think of Hungary?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

lol 'monk'


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Wtf is the buddhist drummer all about


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

FiFi said:


> Not you as well!



I'm a bit of a "Desperado."


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> what do you think of Hungary?


Missed 'em! BRB!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Oh this is dull too. Have I missed _anything _good and lively? Quick so I can catch up on youtube.


Belgium is a fun disco-pop thing.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Wtf is the buddhist drummer all about


teamed up with men from Topman!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh - this doofus is Hungary? No ta, you may have him


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

The winner so far has to be the stage, quite varied what it does, even when making the performers disappear in all the light.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Missed 'em! BRB!


They're on now!!


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> what do you think of Hungary?


Ripped jeans, ripped bod but... oh dear...


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

I quite like this strapping young man with his husky voice.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

My partner *loves* the whistlers


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

He needs to work on his beard I think.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Belgium is a fun disco-pop thing.


Oh yisssss  Nice and jolly, lickle bit Sonia


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I think this sounded decentish when we saw a clip during the semis.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Oh yisssss  Nice and jolly, lickle bit Sonia


Didn't notice, but yes!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

She's on a lilypad


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Italy win "first song not in English" bingo!


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

She's got a lovely voice.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

This is excruciating


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Her catsuit is a bit more gaffer tape


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Italy win "first song not in English" bingo!


Drink!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> She's got a lovely voice.


Bit hidden under the mix.

I think nerves have got to her a bit.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

I totally want that water effect for my fucking HOUSE!


----------



## FiFi (May 14, 2016)

OK, I was wrong about it only being France.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Her catsuit is a bit more gaffer tape



More dungarees than catsuit.  Slightly bonkers but I approve


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Like Italy better - because - I dunno what she is singing about .. 

Plus Italian is such a great sound ..


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

What a load of old bolognese that was


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Drink!


Thumbs


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

"One of the better ballads"

oh graham


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Israel: not in Europe. 

What next, Australia?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

FiFi said:


> OK, I was wrong about it only being France.


Pretty sure there's at least one more. Did the Doner Kebab song get through? Maybe it went out...


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Emo o' clock :-(


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Someone say something funny about his hair


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> Emo o' clock :-(


There is it


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Someone say something funny about his hair


Flock of seagulls


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

"His hair looks like an homage to Trump" - my mum


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Someone say something funny about his hair



The partition is rather one-sided


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Camp Sam Smith


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

It's like a jauntily posed Walnut Whip


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I think this could do well - positive message, good sync between staging and song.

Would look good in a montage.


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Well I am not made of stars, so there!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

His hoop lit up


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

This'll be up there. Mr Israel and the hoop twins.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I think this could do well - positive message, good sync between staging and song.


I didn't hate it. He gave a shit bless him.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

I like his glitter boots


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lipstick on the teeth 

BEATS! SOME BEATS!


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Sofia, so good.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

She's totally been to Cyberdog.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I love Israel's hoop and don't hate the song, I wouldnt mind if that won


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Her legs look strange?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

I'm lovin this one!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Well, my mum's voguing to this one. Make of that what you will


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Her legs look strange?


Traffic enforcement legs


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

I like her hair and the song is OK but the outfit is too weird. NEXT.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

The flesh material is terrible - makes her look like she's recently lost loads of weight


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> Traffic enforcement legs


LOL LIT UP LEGS NOW


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

I me looter never bring us down


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Liking Bulgaria in a sort of Abba sort of way ..


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I want that to do well.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

What is it with the outfits coming straight from a toolbox?


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Well, my mum's voguing to this one. Make of that what you will


 I love your mom 

I rather like this one, nice and ravey with a bit of a samba thing going on


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Her legs look strange?



She's got trousers on the inside of her legs but not at the front. That bandy legged dance move she does makes her look most peculiar, what with those trouserings.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

I can imagine drunkenly dancing to Bulgaria on a summer holiday/work do; this makes it a Eurovision thumbs up.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Ha, proper tribute to Terry


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

RIP Terry. I don't _think _you ever fiddled with anyone?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Ed Sheeranish is it? 

I'm going to the fridge brb


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Bulgaria ftw so far here.

Cheers Sir Terry


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Why is he dressed like my dad going metal detecting?


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

All the costume budget was spent on her that went before this lad.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Did he just say he robbed a post office?? 

Is he desperately pleading with us to stop him...?


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

"If I _were_ sorry"? So Swedes can use the subjunctive, even if native English speakers can't.

Sounds a bit like Jamie T.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Sorry Sweden but this is just meatballs


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

This is dull.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

He looks like all the kids from Home Improvement merged into one.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Bad haircut too.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Wasn't he in eastenders


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Franz, 17. 

Which one was Bulgaria? I can't do this properly without a party partner


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> "If I _were_ sorry"? So Swedes can use the subjunctive, even if native English speakers can't.
> 
> Sounds a bit like Jamie T.


My mum just mumbled to herself: "it's a great use of the subjunctive, now I think about it"


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

You will be sorry pal


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Franz, 17.
> 
> Which one was Bulgaria? I can't do this properly without a party partner


legs and lights


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh Mans, you little tanned hairy thing you.


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

I expect he is cute - only 17

But don't like the song


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> legs and lights


Not tinfoil Sonia?


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Franz, 17.
> 
> Which one was Bulgaria? I can't do this properly without a party partner



Love Crime blonde good eyeliner bizarre light up trouser combo, disco samba

Hope that's helpful


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I already love Germany from Graham's description


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Gots agree with Graham there


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Someone got dressed in the dark.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Best Outfit Ever.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

She looks like....like.....oh god....uhm...had teddies on her frock...uhm... you know the one?

And flat!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

"The first thing I thought was she dresses like Grayson Perry"


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Cyberdog.  The JPop years.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Germany enters Pan's Labyrinth!


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I quite like this.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Bjork's got a German daughter.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

I was a riot grrl and didnt come close to this!


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Not tinfoil Sonia?


oh. which was belgium?


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

I actually don't mind this


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

If the Swedish boy robbed a post office, I think this one's just knocked over Claire's Accessories.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I made this hat for Eurovision and suddenly I feel underdressed


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Is this Angela Merkel's attempt to put off more immigrants?


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

She's dressed like my daughter would if I let her loose in TKMaxx with some glitter glue.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> oh. which was belgium?


Belgium is in tinfoil Sonia in this performance


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Dire


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> She's dressed like my daughter would if I let her loose in TKMaxx with some glitter glue.


Then a bomb goes off passing Claire's


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Allez les bleus! None of this Anglo-Saxon posturing.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

This is catchy.  Young man


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

POURQUOI? I heard this tune in the New Look changing rooms in 2013


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> This is catchy.  Young man


Yeah like herpes


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> POURQUOI? I heard this tune in the New Look changing rooms in 2013


When you were nicking those neon leggings


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

The clap samples on this are proper budget


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

He's singing in... English?

They're not gonna let him back in.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> This is catchy.  Young man


He's got a bit of the Federers about him. Would.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I like France's floor, my partner is considering scoring him minus numbers for the outfit


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

The backing tracks are often far more interesting than anything else.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> When you were nicking those neon leggings


The missed matched striped ones? Sssh


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

If Oz were to win, where would next year's contest be held?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Whatever COBRA is called in France (Le Cobreur?) is assembling as I type


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Poland look promising


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Hmm French entry singing in English. We have obviously arrived as a language! Tres Bien!


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

It's 9000% times better in that bit he sings in French.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Never a good thing when your last long note is off key


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

weltweit said:


> If Oz were to win, where would next year's contest be held?


Acton


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

His trousers are too short and his coat is too long.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Draculaiecki.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

well done poland for not just entering a naked woman.


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

Fuck me this geezer needs a flute and to stand on one leg.


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Bulgaria by a mile so far.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

This guy looks like he has  chatted up girls in shit nightclubs for possibly centuries. No-one really knows. 
But sometimes girls just vanish.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I'm pretty sure that violinist was giving me the eye


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> well done poland for not just entering a naked woman.



I beg your pardon?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Needs some curlygirl on that barnet.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

What colour is your life?  All the big questions being posed tonight.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

'Everyday we must fight with the wind'


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

magneze said:


> Bulgaria by a mile so far.


Which one is that??? The road legs one?


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Which country is the naked entry with wolves? is it Russia?


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Brilliant - first catastrophic modulation of the night   If he only he had a stool to get off of at this point


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Did he say something about snowing without wheels just now


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Which one is that??? The road legs one?



Yep.  FTW


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

What colour is YOUR life?


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I beg your pardon?


in the contest. because 2014.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

I love whoever thought they'd fashion up Poland's outfit by cropping the trouser and wearing no socks. It's Zayn Malik on the way to his Dungeons and Dragons group.


----------



## Kesher (May 14, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> It's 9000% times better in that bit he sings in French.



He went Kpop


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> What colour is YOUR life?


Color we all speak American now.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Mans! Nom!


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

That presenter's dress is like a maleavent ex made her wear it.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> What colour is YOUR life?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Mans! Nom!


Calm down dear!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Yep.  FTW


I've opened up a laptop post-it for my notes


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Oh, Mans is stupidly gorgeous


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> That presenter's dress is like a maleavent ex made her wear it.


Was just saying to my mum, it doesn't seem to quite know what it wants to be.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Hope this is better than Oz's last effort. I am neutral on them begin in but was ANGRY their song wAS SOOO awful last year


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

Stoned Koalas FTW,mind you they are vicious bastards if you piss them off.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Nice glittery box she's got there.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

I mean it's ok but meh tbh


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Swarovski crystal tampon advert from fake Euros.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 14, 2016)

Why are they all singing in English with American accents?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

My ears are bleeding with the sound of silence!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Ooooh she sounds OK........ I think, never sure as I am tone deaf  colacubes?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I don't think people realise just what Australia winning would mean. It would mean Australians, winning again, at something they're not even supposed to be in.

They'd be unbearable!!

Australians must never be allowed to win. Ever.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Australia can REALLY belt it out


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

CSI: Eurovision


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Light from her bits


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Brilliant - first catastrophic modulation of the night   If he only he had a stool to get off of at this point



Catastrophic Modulation is now the name of my new band.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Ooooh she sounds OK........ I think, never sure as I am tone deaf  colacubes?



Cracking tbh.  She was proper good   Song was a bit whatever.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

Her dress is the best thing about this. It's very 'worst ballad on a pop album' sung well.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Oh yeah, The Killers...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

LOL what's this? Old people! LOL!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

I hope the Killers have got their lawyers watching


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Yay!Cheap Bon Jovi!!


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Oh I remember liking this one.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Props to the director of Eurovision btw, bastard crazy camerawork and editing this year.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

If Australia win this I'll be so pissed off. Fucking UK fucking voters will probably give it 12 points.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

That's how you do long hair, Poland


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Shit that's £1 I'll never see again...


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 14, 2016)

Italy is reading this thread!


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Props to the director of Eurovision btw, bastard crazy camerawork and editing this year.


The lighting is also good something that in the past hasn't been the case.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

See that long haired Cypriot guitarist? Have him stripped and sent to my room. Cor!


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

This is appalling


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

I'm ashamed to say I'm enjoying the shiterock of Cyprus quite a lot. It's different, done with enjoyment.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Love it when they pretend to really mean it and thus look at you meaningfully when the lyrics have been something about the moon, sky and why they cry.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

peterkro said:


> The lighting is also good something that in the past hasn't been the case.


"I watch for the tech"


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> See that long haired Cypriot guitarist? Have him stripped and sent to my room. Cor!



You can have the one with the green beard, I saw the other one first


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Anyone else got subtitles for the pure joy of it?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

She looks like Michelle Visage but.... can't sing as well


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Is that hair or some kind of clip-in?


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Fascist vibes


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

She has a nit comb in her hair??


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

Weird sexual harassment dancer.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Well they say black is slimming


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Nine Bob Note said:


> You can have the one with the green beard, I saw the other one first



No, the beardy one was only a baby.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Dr. Furface said:


> Well they say black is slimming


MEOW


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> Anyone else got subtitles for the pure joy of it?


I like turning them on and off at whim but can't anymore.  Are the lyrics still translated into english?


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Poundshop Bieber.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

The song that broke iPlayer.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Vom. Lithuania boo.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> I like turning them on and off at whim but can't anymore.  Are the lyrics still translated into english?


Not sure- can't get it to work and not sure whether to blame Tory cut-backs to the bbc  or the two bottle of chardonnay I've had today.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> The song that broke iPlayer.


Nil points from me just because that awful high note gives me flashbacks and makes me flinch


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Anyone want to talk about something else for 3 minutes.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

Lithuania gone for artfully placed Twiglet hairdo


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Actual JT coming up!


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Anyone want to talk about something else for 3 minutes.


Tanks massing on Russian side of border.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> Lithuania gone for artfully placed Twiglet hairdo


Supernoodles, surely?


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Graham's getting pleasingly catty.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

It's shite, but he's cute so he'll get teeny boppers and aging pervs like me ringing in.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Someone got Bjork's frock.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

I'm torn. Have had to ignore this thread to explain to the missus OF COURSE IT'S ALL CRAP, IT'S EUROVISION, THAT'S THE POINT!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> Graham's getting pleasingly catty.


Well, we have passed song 9...


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

An obese Eslsa outfit? Oh- has turned into cadburys Roses wrappers!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Nice reveal


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

The serb was an aussie wasn't she said something about them at the end.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> Not sure- can't get it to work and not sure whether to blame Tory cut-backs to the bbc  or the two bottle of chardonnay I've had today.


definitely Tories.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Steer, fear, pier, tears


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

'Fuck I knew I shouldn't have let my sis make me this outfit!'


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> The serb was an aussie wasn't she said something about them at the end.


And the Aussie was Korean.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Can anyone else remember when established British stars did it?

Adele next year!


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

So. should eurovision let serbians in?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Nice reveal


I missed it both times


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> And the Aussie was Korean.


That song was fantastic though.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

This is also bad


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

apparently her blue eyeliner under eye is quite fashion.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> That song was fantastic though.


Geri, is that you?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Can anyone else remember when established British stars did it?
> 
> Adele next year!


Are you suggesting Bonnie Tyler and Englebert Humperdink aren't established British stars?


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> I'm torn. Have had to ignore this thread to explain to the missus OF COURSE IT'S ALL CRAP, IT'S EUROVISION, THAT'S THE POINT!


I feel your pain.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

THis better be shit.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Are you suggesting Bonnie Tyler and Englebert Humperdink aren't established British stars?



Or Scooch


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Are you suggesting Bonnie Tyler and Englebert Humperdink aren't established British stars?



OK, busted!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Geri, is that you?


I had to make her turn it over. Love a bit of eurovision. Pre-voting stich ups was more fun. Like risk.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Fear Russia and their massive wings


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I missed it both times


I missed it the first time in comiseration with yous I think.

Some men stepped up and whipped off her largest layer.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

G.A.Y. fodder. Not a bad thing but soooooooooooooo eurovision.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

This is more like it


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Wings! It's almost the Beatles, geddit?


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

RSSN SNG SRS BZNZ


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Fear Russia and their massive wings



The RAF are scrambling


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Discombobulating


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Russia is a VERY Eurovision entry.

I hope he falls off for the lols.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

This is good.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Ha putin, going nowhere with that - rising and reaching for the stars. Get gone.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Is being gay illegal in Russia? Really? Tell this song!


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

This is where I'm torn because of course there's the cultural reasons to not want Russia to win, but I did get them in the sweepstake.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Full communism


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

This must NOT win!


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

YES!!!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh, he cute from a distance. The heavy foundation is distracting up close.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

magneze said:


> Russia is a VERY Eurovision entry.
> 
> I hope he falls off for the lols.


Yup. You can see why it's a/the favourite. Don't want them to win.

The set designer could get an award though.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> This is where I'm torn because of course there's the cultural reasons to not want Russia to win, but I did get them in the sweepstake.



Minefield!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> I had to make her turn it over. Love a bit of eurovision. Pre-voting stich ups was more fun. Like risk.


This is living alright


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Yup. You can see why it's a/the favourite. Don't want them to win.
> 
> The set designer could get an award though.


Did Manss's' one get an award last year?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> The set designer could get an award though.



Dunno. Looked like it was falling to bits to me


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Poundshop Cheryl Cole.


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

Ooh fuck this is going to be Russia vs Ukraine possible world war outcome.
(by the way Russia brought all that talent in).
Fuck I'm pissed.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I cannot describe my hatred of that dress.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Shaky legs seems to be a thing tonight   Liking this though


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Good chorus on this one, took ages to get to it.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

HAMMER TIME

eta. I'm liking Spain, not the dress though


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

In my top 3 that one.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

The quality over all so far is definitely even lower than usual


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Let's play a game: which songs can you remember?

Anyone?

Anyone?


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Someone's gone deep house


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Eurovision straight jacket


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

He looks like a lesser Baldwin.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Latvia: should have stayed communist!


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

Latvia going for a bit of techno clonk.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Swoon


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Someone's gone deep house


If they don't chicken out I will be voting (lol) for this one and fight people.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Liking this too.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Someone has escaped from a Toni and Guy advert but can only talk in rhyming cliches..


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Very shoutings


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Can I vote for the dub mix of this one?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Him and the guy from Lithuania bought their jackets together on their last trip to Camden market. True.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Fozzie Bear said:


> Latvia going for a bit of techno clonk.


It needs to be a few bpm faster


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Vocal so bad.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> Someone has escaped from a Toni and Guy advert but can only talk in rhyming cliches..


That's ALL OF THEM!


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

I like this.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Latvia: should have stayed communist!


That would be a great slogan for Latvia...


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> It needs to be a few bpm faster



And he should take off the jacket and sing everything an octave higher

It's ok though, I like the clonking


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Argh! Looks like Liz Jones!


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

I hope this slags off Russia.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lyrics!


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Justs has grown on me


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Cheer up love ffs.


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

2 step!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Shit dubstep vibe mind


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> I hope this slags off Russia.


I think it is  Subs in.... Ukrainian!


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

*waits for the drop*


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Dammit, I thought that was going to be the drop


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

I think I've got this on a mid 90s garage chill out album.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh, I like it. She looks like Tulisa before the makeover and she doesn't not want Putin near her grandmother.


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Had to take a dog for a walk, did I miss much?


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

excellent spookey chorus free lies oh they bumped it. idiots


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> I hope this slags off Russia.


She's been trying to boost her vote by asking the rest of Europe to vote for her to protest against Russia's annexation of Crimea. Desperate or what?


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Come on. You can't do this without a drop.

No, that doesn't count.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Dammit, I thought that was going to be the drop



No drop


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Iplayer over WiFi is about a minute behind


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

i flinch when she gives birth to that tree.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

weltweit said:


> Had to take a dog for a walk, did I miss much?



I'd take him out again, if I were you.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> No drop


So I see


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Dr. Furface said:


> She's been trying to boost her vote by asking the rest of Europe to vote for her to protest against Russia's annexation of Crimea. Desperate or what?


This how politics should REALLY be done.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Wowza!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Someone modelled their look on Mariah


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> I think I've got this on a mid 90s garage chill out album.


I have this whole thing on a C90 I started going in the 90s and then fell asleep.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

weltweit said:


> Had to take a dog for a walk, did I miss much?



Mutt the Hoople!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

You don't say water like that. Next.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Sorry malta, same song. Thanks for WW2 though!


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

This one doesn't even pretend it's going to have a drop.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Adrian Brody doing backing dancing


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> This how politics should REALLY be done.


Bizarrely, the Saturday afternoon gig I help out with had a Eurovision special and it was the most political we've ever had! The Turkish entry talked about the troubles there, likewise the Austrian entry. Was brilliant!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> This one doesn't even pretend it's going to have a drop.


She's only 5 months gone, mate


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Nice job, spiralling bloke, though.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

As Maltese entries go, this is not bad. In that it's not good. Sorry, land of my father.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Girls doing well.  Hope she doesn't hit the high note too hard or her waters might break


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

walk on walter ?


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Shit rock


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Boy, Georgia!


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Ah good, no fucking dubstep.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Graphics c. Old Grey Whistle Test 1972


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I'm not as stoned this time.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

I used to like this sort of thing in 1991.


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Bizarrely, the Saturday afternoon gig I help out with had a Eurovision special and it was the most political we've ever had! The Turkish entry talked about the troubles there, likewise the Austrian entry. Was brilliant!


Be a lot cheaper to sort it all out with sequins and lyrics about weather and emotions. The losing country has to wear nothing but Atmosphere from Primark for a year.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> I used to like this sort of thing in 1991.



Simpler times


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

This was really innovative when MTV started.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

We all remember the early 2000s, right?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

cyberfairy said:


> Be a lot cheaper to sort it all out with sequins and lyrics about weather and emotions. The losing country has to wear nothing but Atmosphere from Primark for a year.


Lol so shady <3


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

So this is what Liam's been doing since Beady Eye!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Georg rock


----------



## cyberfairy (May 14, 2016)

FFS, I missed seeing Utah Saints in Ulverston to watch this!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Sin
Skin

<headbangs> I LIKE IT


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

This is well shit


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

We all remember The Word, right?


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

_All for one_


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Everyone who was a teenager in the eighties should vote or this.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

We so need Japan in Eurovision. That would up the game.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

The lead singer looks a bit like Jinkx Monsoon not in drag (niche comment, sorry)


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

That wasn't too offensive, i thought?


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

They said it would be a wall of noise and I got really excited for a minute


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> The lead singer looks a bit like Jinkx Monsoon not in drag (niche comment, sorry)



All T!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

The happy birthday got a cheer from me and mum


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

It's a slightly different aspect of Depeche Mode.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Austria win! Not singing in English, but also singing in French!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Poundshop Brigitte Bardot :yawn:

This is #24 so one more until Justin Timberlake!111!!!!!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

fluff, get the big guns out. and say sorry.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Pro tip: in the chorus, do something different and/or more exciting.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

meh


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Austria win! Not singing in English, but also singing in French!


And getting nul points


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

_Joe le taxi..._
Viennetta Parodie...


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Good singer, nice dress, boring song, boring presentation.


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)




----------



## moonsi til (May 14, 2016)

My partner has just put all his votes on Georgia.


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

I like Austria .. harmless but in tune


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Go on lads   This song's been stuck in my head all week


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

oh no. us already


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

oh christ


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Oh well, that's that.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

flares, dead streets and rugby


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

I'm so proud!


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Am I going to cringe ?


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

_One for all_


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> flares, dead streets and rugby


somehow they are making this seem unexciting


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Fozzie Bear said:


> View attachment 86856


That's fucking brilliant


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

"we're in this together"


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Fuck it, they've stolen my idea for the staging of my Eurovision entry!

I hate them even more now


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

That bloke on Camden market made a killing with those jackets this year


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Seriously, Big Society Eurovision?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Hang on, hang on - this isn't risible 


edit: in context


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Montage music


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

It's not as anthemic as it wants to be. There's little power behind it.

Coldplay-lite.


----------



## moonsi til (May 14, 2016)

Austerity Eurovision!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

I have just learnt via the magic of wikipedia that Jake's surname is Shakeshaft


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Apparently they'll do badly because everyone thinks they are a couple


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Hang on, hang on - this isn't risible
> 
> 
> edit: in context


yes

yes, it is


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Bit shit really.


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Nope, not too bad in a sort of EuroPop way 

Should get at least 20 points I would estimate.


----------



## J Ed (May 14, 2016)




----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

This Armenian woman rides horses and holds massive chess pieces. She is better than your UK nonsense.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> yes
> 
> yes, it is


IN CONTEXT.

Graham just prmised a drop, I think.


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

hang on, naked wolf guy didn't make the final?!


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

I think my bar is set so low for UK entries that if I'm not peeling my skin off in embarrassment it's a win.

This is just very mediocre.

The harmonies were in tune and everything. That's better than usual.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Oh, kind of.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I was trying to remember this one. Is it the only one I liked in the first semi final?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Air raid siren


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Had high hopes but black tights of some sort

edit: on the body


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Sounded really exciting and interesting. 


Then it wasn't.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

weltweit said:


> Nope, not too bad in a sort of EuroPop way
> 
> Should get at least 20 points I would estimate.


No more than 6 points from any one country, I would think.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

This is like a one woman, out of tune, James Bond opening credit sequence


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

No capes.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Fozzie Bear said:


> hang on, naked wolf guy didn't make the final?!


I think he scared everyone off with his intense stare and the wink. plus he wasn't as good as latvia. And maybe poland.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

She looks like Spiderman's girlfriend in that outfit.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Christ


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

yep.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Fuck, I missed the first 11 songs!


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Jesus, the presenter's second frock is even worse than her first one.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Ooh, Petra's changed!


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

All that build up.....then.....
I like her sparkly cossie though.


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Bulgaria, Russia and Spain will do well. Latvia dubversion an underground hit.


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> I think he scared everyone off with his intense stare and the wink. plus he wasn't as good as latvia. And maybe poland.



Fair points all.


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

She is one of those entrants that looked better dressed in their intro video than they do in the final act.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Loveybox


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Hit a fucking note once in a while, eh?


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Well, my stream has failed entirely now it seems and I don't have a telly so meh.


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

Anyway. Belgium and Bulgaria.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Best song by a mile was aus - but i hope putin wins before them.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Right need to see the clips for a reminder so I can remember my top 3 now.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> Jesus, the presenter's second frock is even worse than her first one.



Nicky Byrne was gonna wear that, no sense letting it go to waste...


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Eh, Aus was just a Lana Del Rey cover. I say Spain in that it was something real people would dance to.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Belgium gets my vote.

"When you don't have to listen to the whole song most of them sound better."


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Earlier I was thinking it would be nice to watch this in another country to see their take on it. But I've just realised it'd also mean I could vote for the UK!


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Not going to vote for any of them /grumpy


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Italy, France or Austria, just because they didn't sing in bland, generic E2L. Austria especially, since their song was not even in the language of the country!


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

Bulgaria and Spain for me.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I'm too stoned to work out my top 3. but I know there's a lot I don't want to win.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Eh, Aus was just a Lana Del Rey cover. I say Spain in that it was something real people would dance to.


If this is what real people are like in europe we need gone. That spain one was good, it took ages to get to it though. This is euorovision not take 30 seconds-vision


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> I'm too stoned to work out my top 3. but I know there's a lot I don't want to win.



I'm jealous.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Italy, France or Austria, just because they didn't sing in bland, generic E2L. Austria especially, since their song was not even in the language of the country!


Franc and Italy rarely, if ever, sing in anything other than their native. Austria don't get my vote for their blatant and cynical pandering to the French


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> I'm too stoned to work out my top 3. but I know there's a lot I don't want to win.


This is what it's come down to. It's fucking politics all over again


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> Bulgaria and Spain for me.


Say yeah yeah yeah!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Italy, France or Austria, just because they didn't sing in bland, generic E2L. Austria especially, since their song was not even in the language of the country!


You know the start of army of the shadows....


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

The missus is harshing my Eurovision buzz: "I don't like any of them!"

Welcome to Eurovision, darling!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

1. Deep house Latvia
2. Scary black wing Russia
3. Ukraine dub mix.

Mid table finish for the lads from The Voice.  Mediocre in a mostly disappointing field.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Now where is JT


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

OMG OMG JT!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Here he is


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Euro-vision


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Pure bantz and epic lolz


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Pure bantz and epic lolz



Oh, so strained. JT most professional person on tonight, apart from Graham


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> The missus is harshing my Eurovision buzz: "I don't like any of them!"
> 
> Welcome to Eurovision, darling!


It didn't used to be like this


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

this is painful.

I want the musical number back. do we get that again? from the semis


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

THEY CAN'T HAVE EUROVISION AS WELL


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> this is painful.
> 
> I want the musical number back. do we get that again? from the semis


I think watching the semi's is cheating


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

_Let's get concentrated_


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> I think watching the semi's is cheating


no. I get all the best bits.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> I think watching the semi's is cheating


If you miss the semis you miss amazing stuff like naked man singing to wolves and San Marino's amazing entry.


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

What is this? Random clips?


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Songs written by Swedes I think


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

magneze said:


> What is this? Random clips?


Sweden's contributions to music.


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

Fucking hell


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Yep.  There's some good bands I'd forgotten about in there


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 14, 2016)

I am 5 songs behind.... So far Ukraine has been the best.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

JT


----------



## sparkybird (May 14, 2016)

Gotta be Georgia!!!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

And he shouldn't be at Eurovision!


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Sweden's contributions to music.


Dr Alban [emoji106]


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

OOMG JT1


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Ohm he can just knock this shit out all day long.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Oh shit, USA are in it now.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Oh shit, USA are in it now.


Exactly...


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

I love JT, but don't want Americans in this.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

twentythreedom said:


> Fucking hell


Your enjoyment this evening.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

New material


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

This is all wrong! Fuck off Yanks!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> I love JT, but don't want Americans in this.


Exactly; very happy they enjoy our little show, but they should keep their hands off. Either get one for their own continent or have a global one.

Dear God, imagine the semi-finals for Globalvision! There'd have to be heats!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Effortless. Jake and Joe wishes.


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

He's only got one song (that anyone likes)


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

See if America were to join and decided to just throw their biggest stars at it rather than getting into the spirit of Eurovision then I think the audiences in Europe would just not vote for them.  They'd probably get a few points from people seeing their favourite star on TV but the majority would say "this is not Eurovision" and not vote for them.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

You Yank haters need to get on the case.  If we vote for Brexit this shit is what Farage wants


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

magneze said:


> He's only got one song (that anyone likes)



Untrue.  There's at least 3 from 13 years ago


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Dr. Furface said:


> This is all wrong! Fuck off Yanks!



Me and the missus have talked through this more than any of the shite contestants.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

colacubes said:


> Now where is JT


Full kit wanker


----------



## sparkybird (May 14, 2016)

sparkybird said:


> Gotta be Georgia!!!


Or Spain or Belgium.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Dear God, imagine the semi-finals for Globalvision! There'd have to be heats!


That's like a Futurama episode


----------



## FiFi (May 14, 2016)

The Teen has just voted for Netherlands, Malta and Aus. 
She has had a good track record of calling the winners a few years running, although I think she may have lost her touch this year


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Exactly; very happy they enjoy our little show, but they should keep their hands off. Either get one for their own continent or have a global one.
> 
> Dear God, imagine the semi-finals for Globalvision! There'd have to be heats!


It should be like football - continental tournaments, and then every four years a global contest. J-pop and K-pop meets Eurotrash meets afrobeat meets S. American.... It would be fucking AMAZING!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> Full kit wanker


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It should be like football - continental tournaments, and then every four years a global contest. J-pop and K-pop meets Eurotrash meets afrobeat meets S. American.... It would be fucking AMAZING!


I support and second this motion.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Me and the missus have talked through this more than any of the shite contestants.


And it's all about those shite no-hopers having their (likely) one shot at the big time, their 15 mins and all that - not about some American superstar 'showing us how it's done'  *cracks open another Red Stripe*


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It should be like football - continental tournaments, and then every four years a global contest. J-pop and K-pop meets Eurotrash meets afrobeat meets S. American.... It would be fucking AMAZING!


Ok, now this is an idea I can get behind.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

This recap is exhausting! Need more booze.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I wanted to use the recap as an excuse to sync with the live broadcast since we're clearly a bit behind but my partner is streaming it to the TV from his phone and he's nipped to the loo


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It should be like football - continental tournaments, and then every four years a global contest. J-pop and K-pop meets Eurotrash meets afrobeat meets S. American.... It would be fucking AMAZING!


So the eurovision winnner would represent europe? Like a regional.


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

This bit is really well adlibbed. Well done.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

BURN


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> I wanted to use the recap as an excuse to sync with the live broadcast since we're clearly a bit behind but my partner is streaming it to the TV from his phone and he's nipped to the loo


What is this? Don't you have a telly either?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> BURN


SAVAGE


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Third dress for the presenter. It's the best one so far.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> I support and second this motion.





red rose said:


> Ok, now this is an idea I can get behind.


That post has got more likes than any of my others this evening. C'mon urban, we can make this happen.

How hard can it be?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

I am enjoying this bit. Meta.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I love Petra and Mans


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Oh fuck! This filler bit is always painful.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

What the sodding hell has she got on now????


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> I love Petra and Mans


They should host every year, blates.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

This is amazeballs


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

OMG, OMG, OMG, it's Alexander Rybak! *faints*


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

old women baking bread


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

This isn't as good as their number from the semis

But damn


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

I LOVE THIS BIT.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Peace peace love peace love!


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

This is the best song in it.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Ok Sweden you win again!


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Sweden win again


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

Pro tip: metaphors don't actually require illustration. e.g. if you walk about a hamster wheel, there is actually no need to have someone in a hamster wheel.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Sweden are my favourite hosts.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Oh fuck! This filler bit is always painful.


Nah, it's been pretty good in recent years. Loved that one.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 14, 2016)

There's a lot of bread going on here.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

I'm literally crying with laughter here


----------



## sparkybird (May 14, 2016)

Can I vote for this one?


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

That was amazing.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> This is the best song in it.



Better than Timberlake!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Pro tip: metaphors don't actually require illustration. e.g. if you walk about a hamster wheel, there is actually no need to have someone in a hamster wheel.


It was from a previous contest, it wasn't a metaphor.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Pro tip: metaphors don't actually require illustration. e.g. if you walk about a hamster wheel, there is actually no need to have someone in a hamster wheel.


Oh fgs! That was the entire point


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

The shirt's fallen open. Oh fuck...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Now gone a bit South London


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Ok I was wrong, this is better


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

Man in hamster wheel...
Best song of the night


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Burning fake piano


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Still laughing


----------



## isvicthere? (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Now gone a bit South London



Whagwan?!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

isvicthere? said:


> Whagwan?!


Aight?


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 14, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> I am 5 songs behind.... So far Ukraine has been the best.



Stand by this 1. Ukraine super Kate bush dub wise uk garage.  2. Spain euro disco dance banger.  3. Latvia deep stripped back house without his vocals / Italy because she remembered to sing in Italian. 


Australia had a great voice but I have no idea how she got off of that poxy box.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

STILL LAUGHING


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)




----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Seriously. Every year. Anyone can win, but Sweden should always host it.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Now gone a bit South London



I hear from someone I know that she's a Swedish comedian and that's one of her creations - bouncy British official woman.


----------



## moonsi til (May 14, 2016)

Loving it!


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I really want them to do their number from the semis again, it should have a wider audience.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

that was amazing. so much eurovision fist bumping.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> I hear from someone I know that she's a Swedish comedian and that's one of her creations - bouncy British official woman.


Really? I thought it was completely unusual and v funny


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Now that's a much better frock. Finally!


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> I really want them to do their number from the semis again, it should have a wider audience.


they name checked the semis in it  just need to find it on youtube.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

Best Petra dress


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

He's on  hover fucking board


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Ah crap, just jumped the shark on those twatty things.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Boring Mans song. He can slip back into......obscurity


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

very 2016.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Ah crap, just jumped the shark on those twatty things.


Nah, he's gliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiding up to Nine Bob Note's house


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Heroewoewoes!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

This is the best eurovision EVER. Slick, funny and fantastic.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

shame about a lot of the songs but whoever voted in the first semi final was foolish.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> This is the best eurovision EVER. Slick, funny and fantastic.


Except for the entries, I'd be minded to agree.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> shame about a lot of the songs but whoever voted in the first semi final was foolish.


Testify!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Except for the entries, I'd be minded to agree.


Oh, yes - sorry, I was not clear. The presentation is best. The tunes are all deliciously dreadful, like usual


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Oh yeah. I meant to watch those explanatory videos.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Nah, he's gliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiding up to Nine Bob Note's house



I doubt it. He aired his views on gays last year, and had to loose his clothes for a gay mag to make amends. We forgave him


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Yay! Bring on the lagged calls and awkward moments!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

fuck you hiter


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I doubt it. He aired his views on gays last year, and had to loose his clothes for a gay mag to make amends. We forgave him


HE DID WHAT?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I love this man. He blusters his way through despite clearly being the most uncomfortable man in the stadium.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Luna the awkward mop dog.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Like the idea, Fuchs the europreans


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

What kind of fucking bathroom tiles have austria made their dress out of?!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> Yay! Bring on the lagged calls and awkward moments!


All these fucking people trying to make too much of their tiny fucking moment.

You are a conduit to the points, just get fucking to it.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

booo


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

8 fucking points?? Well, I was wrong...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

What? Azerbaijan gave Russia 12 points? Colour me fucking shocked


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> HE DID WHAT?


Let me google that for you


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> What? Azerbaijan gave Russia 12 points? Colour me fucking shocked


If you say so, stand still...


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I love all these representatives. 

Petra looked so confused when she started speaking gaelic


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

What's Bulgaria doing down there?  Ukraine climbing to third though 

The Nrtherlands was a cod-country song, wasn't it?


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

balls, whose going to fuck up this UKRE RuSS bllcks . Come on aus (there, i said it).


----------



## Buckaroo (May 14, 2016)

Twelve points Ukraine! Wahey!!!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Mr Aus/Ukr forecast is looking good so far


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> Let me google that for you


Tssh, I wanted to know what terrible thing he said!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Fuuuuuuuuuck me! 

Malta have always done well by us, bizarrely.


----------



## Ax^ (May 14, 2016)

just tune in and already want to punch the british drummer


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Cheers Malta


----------



## peterkro (May 14, 2016)

George Cross bars all around for Malta.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Shut up Finland. No one likes you.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Malta, love you still.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Tssh, I wanted to know what terrible thing he said!


he doesn't think it's equally natural. 
Eurovision winner Mans Zelmerlow thanks his gay fans


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Hate to say it, but splitting the jury and public votes is quite interesting. Jury splitting their votes wider across the board.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Yeah, get in there, fuck you europe. Come on Aus!


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

What the fuck is whistling guy doing?


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

French idiot


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Strong look Moldova


----------



## twentythreedom (May 14, 2016)

I don't get it


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Ok I liked the idea of Australia entering but I didn't expect to resist the idea of them winning so much.

My issue and I need to get over it, I just didn't expect to dislike their winning.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Laaaaaaag


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> Ok I liked the idea of Australia entering but I didn't expect to resist the idea of them winning so much.
> 
> My issue and I need to get over it, I just didn't expect to dislike their winning.


No, it's quite natural to not want them to win.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> No, it's quite natural to not want them to win.


Oh shush


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Might be some grumpy Germans atm, just 1pt so far.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Progressive of the Netherlands to be represented by a half-woman-half-lizard.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Ukraine sounds too much like UK to my stupid ears


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Look at them. Smug bastard. All happy and shit.

Ghastly, ghastly people.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Is anyone on nul points?


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Ukraine sounds too much like UK to my stupid ears


Ukrainastralia. We win. Putin loses. EU loses. Job done.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> Is anyone on nul points?


Society, maaaaaaaaan.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Now we're getting nasty.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

lol belarus


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Her in Germany made me laugh.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Genuinely thinking I should watch next year's in another country.

Just need to make some European friends. Who like Eurovision...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Ha! BOOM Sweden!


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

What the hell has she got on?


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

Norway didn't vote for Sweden


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

What the actual fuck has she got round her neck? Actually


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Georgia - because fuck you Europe


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Richard Osman didn't get the bow tie memo


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I'd be ok with Australia winning if I didn't fear it opening the door to the states.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

aus nailed on


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> I'd be ok with Australia winning if I didn't fear it opening the door to the states.


It's be great of if it did - see LC's post above


----------



## moonsi til (May 14, 2016)

Go UK!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Georgia - because fuck you Europe


Yep


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> It's be great of if it did - see LC's post above


but it wouldn't go like that.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> but it wouldn't go like that.


Yeah, it would.


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

How do the public votes work?
Are they worth as much as the jury votes?


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> Yeah, it would.


oh good.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> oh good.


Job done!


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

Wow. 

Eta: sorry Ukraine bods.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Ukraine spokespeople the very best ever.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Peter's even good at the small talk, hasn't been phased at all.

I'm a little in love.


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I fucking love the ukraine


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

russia gone - can't win now


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

They couldn't have picked a shot that wouldn't have people walking throughout it??


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

UKraine vs aus i think, former  to walk away with it


----------



## weltweit (May 14, 2016)

Who chose Richard fucking Osman?

Surely the most pointless choice


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

There is a chance the popular vote could favour Ukraine in an anti-Russia vote, but I imagine there'll also be lot of people who like the novelty of Australia being in it.

Plus some might actually like the songs or something. Inexplicably.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Germany 1 point lol


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> There is a chance the popular vote could favour Ukraine in an anti-Russia vote, but I imagine there'll also be lot of people who like the novelty of Australia being in it.
> 
> Plus some might actually like the songs or something. Inexplicably.


Is there going to be a huge deluge of votes _after _all this bit? Graham just said it could 'all change after popular vote'. So it's going to be a BANG-votes-all-in??


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Never wear a panda in your hat. Notoriously bad luck, that.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Is there going to be a huge deluge of votes _after _all this bit? Graham just said it could 'all change after popular vote'. So it's going to be a BANG-votes-all-in??


Pretty much. All the popular votes for each country will be pulled together, and then announced in reverse order from lowest to largest.

So thinking about it we could actually.get them announcing nul points for some countries


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> Germany 1 point lol


One more than they got last year!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

I'm an anti-eu brit who hates the assuiess. 

Wjat nect?


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

ha


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Christ, this is actually quite good!


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

BIzzare way to do things.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Poland only got 7 points from the juries, but...


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

FUCK PR


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Is it just me who is fogged here?


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

This is all nonsense. Its rubbish.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Not going well is it


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Who thought up this system  - platini  and havelange?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Poland in the top 5 of the popular vote!


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Poland in the top 5 of the popular vote!



What is wrong with people


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

I understand why people wouldn't like this, BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT!


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 14, 2016)

Bonkers.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Ukraine need 301 points.


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Come on Ukraine (only to beat Australia), Bulgaria clearly the best.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

load of


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Blimey.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Ukraine have won!!!


----------



## Buckaroo (May 14, 2016)

Ukraine!!


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

Awesome


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

woah


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Wait, how many points are left???


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

fight


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Ukraine wins. Should make the NATO shills happy


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

Oh FFS!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

As a song, I am very surprised that won.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

that kept it interesting.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Fuck you Putin   And fuck you Kylie


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

It was a terrible song, to be right.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> As a song, I am very surprised that won.


she did give birth to a tree.


----------



## colacubes (May 14, 2016)

Can anyone actually remember the song


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

FFS, 23 points cost me £85


----------



## red rose (May 14, 2016)

I wanted to see how each country voted, I wanted to go back to all the awkward representatives and see the border-voting.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Nice trophy, that.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Peace & Love


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Thank fuck Russia didn't win anyway


----------



## Plumdaff (May 14, 2016)

So it's a Ukraine vs Russia next year again.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

red rose said:


> I wanted to see how each country voted, I wanted to go back to all the awkward representatives and see the border-voting.


yeah. I think they could have spent more time on it.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Petra & Mans <3


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

"Welcome to Ukraine" - that means it's being held in this arena again, right?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

And THANK YOU ALL. This is an annual u75 highlight for me


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

`


Lord Camomile said:


> "Welcome to Ukraine" - that means it's being held in this arena again, right?


If Putin decides it.


----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Sweden put a great show on. Highly comical song delivered by the hosts. Could have lived without Timberlake. Would have been awesome on a stick if they could have got Abba to sing at the time filling part.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> And THANK YOU ALL. This is an annual u75 highlight for me


Indeedy


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 14, 2016)

Great show, shame about the song - but top votes for the U75 jury!


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

I am certainly less gutted at my usual peoples being otherwise disposed.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

going to watch again now


----------



## brogdale (May 14, 2016)




----------



## Espresso (May 14, 2016)

Imagine how heartily cheesed off you'd be if you were that Australian singer in the lovely dress now. Lead all the way only to be snookered at the last by some sort of insane voting system devised by whoever came up with the clues on 3-2-1.
That's tough.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

I'm gonna check the lottery results now, and if I didn't at least win that I will be VERY pissed off


----------



## poului (May 14, 2016)

Poland's monstrosity, the eurovision equivalent of the Mario kart blue shell.


----------



## butchersapron (May 14, 2016)

Thank you to LC and others  - really rude to just come in and mess the place up, thank you.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> SWould have been awesome on a stick if they could have got Abba to sing at the time filling part.


They are never ever ever getting back together


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 14, 2016)

Ukraine BOOM!

Sang some of it in her own language, personal and political  meaning, character to her voice and delivery, good traditional and contemporary musical fusion.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2016)

poului said:


> Poland's monstrosity, the eurovision equivalent of the Mario kart blue shell.


I don't get that reference but yes to Poland being a bit poo.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

Espresso said:


> Imagine how heartily cheesed off you'd be if you were that Australian singer in the lovely dress now. Lead all the way only to be snookered at the last by some sort of insane voting system devised by whoever came up with the clues on 3-2-1.
> That's tough.


She'd never won it, it just took that long for the bullet to hit.

As soon as the lines close everyone's fate has been sealed...


----------



## Doctor Carrot (May 14, 2016)

That Ukraine song was brilliant. It kinda sounded like a Burial tune which is more than OK in my book. Best song won.


----------



## magneze (May 14, 2016)

I think that is exactly what they were hoping for from the new voting system. It was really tense.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 14, 2016)

magneze said:


> I think that is exactly what they were hoping for from the new voting system. It was really tense.


I was very sceptical (see the beginning of the thread), but fuck me it was brilliant. Fascinating and tense in equal measure.


----------



## poului (May 14, 2016)

5t3IIa said:


> I don't get that reference but yes to Poland being a bit poo.



Plus he looked like a camp Pablo Iglesias.


----------



## mauvais (May 14, 2016)

Well that was a downer.

Are you ready to party Euroooope?!?!! 

Yes actually, I'm here to cover 'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails.

Oh.


----------



## wtfftw (May 14, 2016)

Oh. Now it's aaaaaaages until the next one


----------



## ska invita (May 14, 2016)

UK garage takeover now conquers Eurovision. Take that eurotrance


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 14, 2016)

Doctor Carrot said:


> That Ukraine song was brilliant. It kinda sounded like a Burial tune which is more than OK in my book. Best song won.


Indeed.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2016)

It was nice to see Verka, I'll give the show that.

*




*
*DANZING!*


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 15, 2016)

wtfftw said:


> Oh. Now it's aaaaaaages until the next one


It's like 27th December


----------



## wtfftw (May 15, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It's like 27th December


exactly. but at least then there's still new years which I like.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

I shall spend the rest of the evening drinking myself into oblivion (and I do have work in the morning!) and listening to past eurovision greatness, each of which I shall post here so that you may share in my drunken misery.

And the day started so well, what with my boss announcing he was leaving.

I've only lost a tenner FFS! 

First up:


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

To think the UK gave this no fucking points (yes I had money on it)


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

Pipped to the post by some Serbian pretendy lesbian prison warders (yes I had money on it)


----------



## ska invita (May 15, 2016)

So we learned that all the polish migrants around europe phone vote for the motherland like mad... If Poland ever enter an even half decent song (I don't think its ever happened yet) they'll walk it...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

Excellent song, just squeezed ahead of Imaani (upon whom, yes, I placed a small wager, fuck knows how as I wasn't old enough to bet)


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 15, 2016)

poului said:


> Poland's monstrosity, the eurovision equivalent of the Mario kart blue shell.


He was celebrating being a European pirate surely?  We couldn't work out if his tashe was drawn on or not.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> He was celebrating being a European pirate surely?  We couldn't work out if his tashe was drawn on or not.



Bollocks...



Listen to those twats booing people who *get* Eurovision. I don't believe I placed any bets that year, though I quite fancied Dima Belan (who won) at the time


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

I WON!! Yes, despite my excellent form when it comes to horse-racing, I think this is the only time I've nailed the winner at Eurovision. IIRC a tenner at 9/1, much gratefully received as I was a dole-scrounger at the time.


----------



## ska invita (May 15, 2016)

My understanding is that this voting system is little changed from the system of the past...the two differences are that

 1 we can see the breakdown between judges and phone vote, whereas previously they were combined and presented as one

2 the phone vote now counts as 50%, or equal to the judge votes. We don't know how much the phone vote used to count for but it was less than 50%...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

Think I had an E/W bet on this one


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 15, 2016)

Nine Bob Note said:


> To think the UK gave this no fucking points (yes I had money on it)



Me too - and I'm still seething over the injustice of it! (((Margaret!)))


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 15, 2016)

i love the new voting system


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

Vintage Paw said:


> i love the new voting system



So did I until the last two votes were announced. I was gonna splurge my winnings on all six series of Bake Off from the BBC Store (75% off this weekend). I'm still going to, I'll just have to skip food, that is all


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)




----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

This guy's backing dancers were hot as fuck, but the tat sleeves were fake


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

It's a conveyor belt!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

This came 19th. NINTEENTH!!


----------



## belboid (May 15, 2016)

how the hell did Ukraine win, that song is awful???!!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

Possibly the best opener ever. Love the outfits, but his teeth are offensively bright


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

This one's a little folksy, but I always enjoyed it


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 15, 2016)

Oh, he's completely adorable...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 15, 2016)

This is my favourite Eurovision song, apparently as it's the only one I remember. Apart from Mans last year which I bought off iTunes 



Pirates!


----------



## Geri (May 15, 2016)

Congratulations to Ukraine and great to see the profile of the Crimean Tatars being raised. 

Video of winning song


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 15, 2016)

belboid said:


> how the hell did Ukraine win, that song is awful???!!



The best song won. Get over it


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 15, 2016)

I woke up with that Latvian song Heartbeat in my head, and it's still there. I thought it was crap last night, and I still do, but there it is 'feeeling your heartbeat, that's all I want, that's all I neeeeed'. I doubt I'll ever wake up with the winning song in my head though, as I can't remember how that goes even though it was only a few hours ago. And I'll be surprised if I ever hear it played anywhere ever again until the competition comes round again next year.

Last night the show was the winner, in spite of the songs, so thanks Sweden.


----------



## belboid (May 15, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> The best song won. Get over it


It's political correctness gone mad!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 15, 2016)

Dr. Furface said:


> I woke up with that Latvian song Heartbeat in my head, and it's still there.


I woke up with last year's winner stuck in my head. Make of that what you will.

Although obviously it's ostensibly a pop contest, I suppose there's no real necessity for the winner to be catchy. Plenty of great tunes and songs aren't what you'd call earthworms, but you appreciate other qualities in them.


----------



## butchersapron (May 15, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I woke up with last year's winner stuck in my head. Make of that what you will.
> 
> Although obviously it's ostensibly a pop contest, I suppose there's no real necessity for the winner to be catchy. Plenty of great tunes and songs aren't what you'd call earthworms, but you appreciate other qualities in them.


Earthworms are great. Can't get them out me ear though.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 15, 2016)

Bloody autocorrect


----------



## ska invita (May 15, 2016)

belboid said:


> how the hell did Ukraine win, that song is awful???!!


she gave a really emotional perfomance of it on the night 
must admit when she sang it at the end i wasnt feeling it as much, but first time around it immediately felt great.

ive got a question about eurovision production:
do you bring your own production people in to do the stage show, or do you get given someone? Is there an equal budget?
seems to me like stage show can make a huge difference to the perception of these tunes.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 15, 2016)

ska invita said:


> she gave a really emotional perfomance of it on the night
> must admit when she sang it at the end i wasnt feeling it as much, but first time around it immediately felt great.
> 
> ive got a question about eurovision production:
> ...


I read somewhere that if Aus had won they'd have done their show in Germany with an Aus production crew, but that doesn't fully answer your question.


----------



## ska invita (May 15, 2016)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Oh, he's completely adorable...



Ive stood very near him in real life


----------



## spliff (May 15, 2016)

ska invita said:


> she gave a really emotional perfomance of it on the night
> must admit when she sang it at the end i wasnt feeling it as much, but first time around it immediately felt great.
> 
> ive got a question about eurovision production:
> ...


I was wondering that, I only saw the end of the voting and her reprising as a winner and the stage and lighting was set up for for her.
Crikey that must be a logistical nightmare. Didn't she say something about "People think I'm talking about Pizza Hut but it's Peace and Love"?
It did make me look-up stuff about the Tatars expulsions from Crimea in 1944 an episode that I knew nothing about.
So I'm slightly more informed.  I didn't like the song though


----------



## spliff (May 15, 2016)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Pipped to the post by some Serbian pretendy lesbian prison warders (yes I had money on it)



Was he the guy who announced the Ukrainian votes? That's when I got home and switched on and I thought fuck this whole thing has gone totally camp.
Where's Sir Cliff I asked myself.


----------



## Reno (May 16, 2016)

spliff said:


> Was he the guy who announced the Ukrainian votes? That's when I got home and switched on and I thought fuck this whole thing has gone totally camp.
> Where's Sir Cliff I asked myself.


When has Eurovision ever not been camp ?


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> she gave a really emotional perfomance of it on the night
> must admit when she sang it at the end i wasnt feeling it as much, but first time around it immediately felt great.




WHAT????  She cried real tears man.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2016)

Reno said:


> When has has Eurovision ever not been camp ?


I was trying to think of a Eurovision entry to post in retort, but I'm coming up short. Only thought was Lordi, but they were pretty camp in their own way


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> WHAT????  She cried real tears man.


second time around she was crying more because she just won though - and because she was emotional the performance was a bit messier
first time she nailed it


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> second time around she was crying more because she just won though - and because she was emotional the performance was a bit messier
> first time she nailed it


I don't think it was a "you love me, you really love me" thing though, I think it was more "you got what this was about and voted for me", plus the fact that she hadn't just managed to perform such a song but had won with it, which will get it even more coverage.

Quite a bit of armchair speculation, of course...


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> second time around she was crying more because she just won though - and because she was emotional the performance was a bit messier
> first time she nailed it



I disagree   She nailed it the second time around too, for different reasons maybe but she did!


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I don't think it was a "you love me, you really love me" thing though, I think it was more "you got what this was about and voted for me", plus the fact that she hadn't just managed to perform such a song but had won with it, which will get it even more coverage.
> 
> Quite a bit of armchair speculation, of course...


agree!

btw with hindsight the song is clearly political and so shouldnt have been allowed and she should retrospectively be stripped of her win


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> agree!
> 
> btw with hindsight the song is clearly political and so shouldnt have been allowed and she should retrospectively be stripped of her win


actually thats a bit harsh - it shouldve been weeded out at an earlier stage for not fitting the criteria. Once allowed in she can can keep the win


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> agree!
> 
> btw with hindsight the song is clearly political and so shouldnt have been allowed and she should retrospectively be stripped of her win



Are you in a bad mood today? What is this ridiculousness? 

Why can't songs be about real life and real experiences?


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> Are you in a bad mood today? What is this ridiculousness?
> 
> Why can't songs be about real life and real experiences?


not in eurovision - there are strict rules about it and many songs have been ditched in the past for attempted breach.

"The lyrics and/or performance of the songs shall not bring the Shows, the Eurovision Song Contest as such or the EBU into disrepute. No lyrics, speeches, gestures of a political or similar nature shall be permitted during the Eurovision Song Contest."
Rules


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> Are you in a bad mood today? What is this ridiculousness?
> 
> Why can't songs be about real life and real experiences?


I think there is something about them not being 'political'.

Plus I think ska's being a little tongue in cheek


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

The excuse is 
"Political songs are not allowed at Eurovision but 1944 was permitted because it was based on historic fact, rather than current politics."
Eurovision Song Contest: Mixed feelings over Ukraine's triumph - BBC News

Though she said in an interview that it consciously is meant to reflect what is happening in Ukraine/Crimea today


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Plus I think ska's being a little tongue in cheek


no im serious in fact
and yes i am in a bad mood
its monday and im not on holiday


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

Rubbish...she was reporting history not giving a party political broadcast. Would you also disqualify the song regarding domestic violence and all the songs about love too? Both those subjects are political.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> " No lyrics, speeches, gestures of a political or similar nature shall be permitted during the Eurovision Song Contest."
> Rules


Although they can be pretty liberal in their interpretation - in recent years there have been a number of gay rights gestures, and by the organisers themselves!

(I appreciate you can argue whether a simple same-gender kiss is political, but with the likes of Turkey and other nations objecting to its inclusion I feel at least at the moment it still is, at least somewhat)


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> Though she said in an interview that it consciously is meant to reflect what is happening in Ukraine/Crimea today


History shapes the present. Shock, horror!


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> its monday and im not on holiday



Not too long now. Be brave!


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> Rubbish...she was reporting history not giving a party political broadcast. Would you also disqualify the song regarding domestic violence and all the songs about love too? Both those subjects are political.


i think european geopolitics should be left out of eurovision

this one snuck by in 2014 only because no one could tell what he was on about 
actually becasue its (sort of) pro europe  i reckon is why they let it in

one of my fav eurovision songs that


----------



## butchersapron (May 16, 2016)

When has has Eurovision ever not been political?


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> When has has Eurovision ever not been political?


Yeah letting Waterloo win was well out of order


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

Stop trolling


----------



## skyscraper101 (May 16, 2016)

It seems to me that the UK always enters a cheesey continental appeasing pop act rather than some bands which reflect the breadth of music produced in the UK. I'd love, just for once if we entered a well established indie or dance band, of which there are many. They couldn't do any worse than usual.


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Most eurovision songs are now pop dance tracks...one thing the uk is good at knocking out...someone like rudimental could work...klf could be even better! They might have missed their window though


----------



## Libertad (May 16, 2016)

skyscraper101 said:


> It seems to me that the UK always enters a cheesey continental appeasing pop act rather than some bands which reflect the breadth of music produced in the UK. I'd love, just for once if we entered a well established indie or dance band, of which there are many. They couldn't do any worse than usual.



Rudimental would be my choice.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 16, 2016)

The more politics the better. Let it all hang out.


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Vintage Paw said:


> The more politics the better. Let it all hang out.


rules is rules, and i agree with this one - eurovision is about unity through shit music


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

if it wasnt russia on the sharp end of this song, but say Israel, I wonder if it would've made it through the vetting process


----------



## butchersapron (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> rules is rules, and i agree with this one - eurovision is about unity through shit music


Dd you take that position as regards the EU and Greece last year? or did you recognise that the 'governing body' - the equivalent of the EBU in this case - - needed to be challenged and its authority to impose punishments and sanctions of the greek w/c in favour of elite interests via _rules _put into doubt?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2016)

skyscraper101 said:


> It seems to me that the UK always enters a cheesey continental appeasing pop act rather than some bands which reflect the breadth of music produced in the UK. I'd love, just for once if we entered a well established indie or dance band, of which there are many. They couldn't do any worse than usual.


As I've said upthread, I like the approach of the Netherlands and Germany, who don't really care about winning and just a decent or mad song. We always seem to get caught between wanting to win but not really getting what Europe wants. We should just send a quality song and to hell with winning.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> if it wasnt russia on the sharp end of this song, but say Israel, I wonder if it would've made it through the vetting process



Th fact that Israel is in the Eurovision at all is political. ...and no..it probably wouldn't have got through.


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

butchersapron said:


> Dd you take that position as regards the EU and Greece last year? or did you recognise that the 'governing body' - the equivalent of the EBU in this case - - needed to be challenged and its authority to impose punishments and sanctions of the greek w/c in favour of elite interests via _rules _put into doubt?


what was the greek entry last year? I dont remember it.

This years greek entry was great btw  more eurorapping needed


----------



## ska invita (May 16, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> Th fact that Israel is in the Eurovision at all is political. ...and no..it probably wouldn't have got through.


yeah Palestine for Eurovision is a campaign worth getting behind


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 16, 2016)

ska invita said:


> yeah Palestine for Eurovision is a campaign worth getting behind


Palestinians condemn Eurovision Song Contest for flag ban


----------



## skyscraper101 (May 16, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> As I've said upthread, I like the approach of the Netherlands and Germany, who don't really care about winning and just a decent or mad song. We always seem to get caught between wanting to win but not really getting what Europe wants. We should just send a quality song and to hell with winning.



I agree. 

I quite liked that Common Linnets band from the Netherlands that one time and they came second too. More of that kind of thing from the UK I say.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2016)

skyscraper101 said:


> I agree.
> 
> I quite liked that Common Linnets band from the Netherlands that one time and they came second too. More of that kind of thing from the UK I say.


Yup, them and Anouk 'afore them are what turned me on to Netherlands as one to look forward to.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2016)

Actually, just realised Broken Circle Breakdown is a (partially) Dutch film - is there a proper country scene over there??


----------



## moonsi til (May 16, 2016)

Germany was in my top 5! The UK panel voted for Georgia but we entered Jack & Jill.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2016)

Germany won in 2010 with a song that still listen to.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jul 31, 2016)

(Buy your own copy here, if you wish )


----------



## cyril_smear (Jul 31, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> Th fact that Israel is in the Eurovision at all is political. ...and no..it probably wouldn't have got through.



is it? i thought it was because of the broafcasting zone which covers all the near east and as far as tunisia and morroco.


----------



## ska invita (Aug 1, 2016)

cyril_smear said:


> is it? i thought it was because of the broafcasting zone which covers all the near east and as far as tunisia and morroco.


....its a weird zone, stretches to Azerbaijan...if it includes Israel you'd think it would include countries between there and Az.

It's blatantly selective - Lebanon and Syria should both be within the zone for example


----------



## cyril_smear (Aug 3, 2016)

ska invita said:


> ....its a weird zone, stretches to Azerbaijan...if it includes Israel you'd think it would include countries between there and Az.
> 
> It's blatantly selective - Lebanon and Syria should both be within the zone for example



They are.

edit - Syria and Lebanon are.


----------

