# Annoying Adverts 2015



## twentythreedom (Jan 1, 2015)

I'm glad the meerkats are leaving Oleg in Africa, let's hope the other two get eaten by hyenas soon 

Millenium Falcon partwork model kit - 100 issues @ £8.99


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## DotCommunist (Jan 1, 2015)

fucking hell, making the kessel run in £900 parsecs

and it'll be redundant as soon as the new film comes out cos they've made cosmetic changes to the ship


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## twentythreedom (Jan 1, 2015)

It has the ramp that lowers on it though.


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## T & P (Jan 4, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> I'm glad the meerkats are leaving Oleg in Africa, let's hope the other two get eaten by hyenas soon


Speaking of price comparison websites, I guess we're meant to feel sorry and anxious for Brian the robot off Confused.com as he's kidnapped by rogue scrap metal dealers. But fear not- his chums are coming to the rescue. Here's hoping he gets fucking melted down.


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## Puddy_Tat (Jan 4, 2015)

there's one at the moment with a bloody awful 80's song that if anything is even worse than anything rick fucking astley did.



Spoiler: in case you'd rather not risk remembering it



(nothing's gonna change my love for you - glenn medeiros)



i'm not sure what the heck it's an advert for as i either leave the room or change the bloody channel pretty damn quick.

in some ways i'd like to know what it's an advert for so i could make an effort not to buy the product


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## T & P (Jan 4, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> there's one at the moment with a bloody awful 80's song that if anything is even worse than anything rick fucking astley did.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


In a delicious irony, it is actually an advert promoting television advertising as a powerful way to sell your products


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## Puddy_Tat (Jan 4, 2015)

T & P said:


> In a delicious irony, it is actually an advert promoting television advertising as a powerful way to sell your products



  

(and  at not being able to boycott the product)


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## DotCommunist (Jan 5, 2015)

I hope the hyenas get oleg


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## twentythreedom (Jan 5, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> I hope the hyenas get oleg


It can only be a matter of time. He's obviously not scared of predators. He's probably already a tiny pile of blood, gristle and fur already tbf


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## Sirena (Jan 5, 2015)

T & P said:


> Speaking of price comparison websites, I guess we're meant to feel sorry and anxious for Brian the robot off Confused.com as he's kidnapped by rogue scrap metal dealers. But fear not- his chums are coming to the rescue. Here's hoping he gets fucking melted down.


"...o-o-o-h headrush....!!"


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## Buddy Bradley (Jan 5, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Millenium Falcon partwork model kit - 100 issues @ £8.99


That one made me    as well - and the "build your own world globe" one for £600, although I did like that it comes with "comprehensive instructions", which are presumably something like:

1. Remove tiny model of Eiffel Tower
2. Stick in France
3. Wait for next month's magazine, admiring the tiny plastic slice of the earth's crust you now own but can't put anywhere for another 99 weeks


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## fucthest8 (Jan 5, 2015)

Fucking Cadbury's Creme Egg ad on January 1st, for fucks sake.

And yeah, Brian for the fucking melting pot with that tiny twat Oleg strapped to him if I had my way.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 5, 2015)

Buddy Bradley said:


> That one made me    as well - and the "build your own world globe" one for £600, although I did like that it comes with "comprehensive instructions", which are presumably something like:
> 
> 1. Remove tiny model of Eiffel Tower
> 2. Stick in France
> 3. Wait for next month's magazine, admiring the tiny plastic slice of the earth's crust you now own but can't put anywhere for another 99 weeks


Part works are such a scam. I wonder what percentage get finished 100% complete, how much they are then worth


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## Espresso (Jan 5, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Part works are such a scam. I wonder what percentage get finished 100% complete, how much they are then worth


I'd be very highly surprised indeed if the companies who print those those magazines with the building bits ever even *plan* to finish the print run never mind actually do it.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 5, 2015)

Espresso said:


> I'd be very highly surprised indeed if the companies who print those those magazines with the building bits ever even *plan* to finish the print run never mind actually do it.


So are (presumably super-rare) 100% complete collections of whatever thing actually worth much in the end?

That Millenium Falcon - £900 + labour, but when finished how much will it be worth?

Just thinking out loud tbh


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## Espresso (Jan 5, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> So are (presumably super-rare) 100% complete collections of whatever thing actually worth much in the end?
> 
> That Millenium Falcon - £900 + labour, but when finished how much will it be worth?
> 
> Just thinking out loud tbh


It is a good question, no doubt. Dunno how you'd even go about finding out, though.


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## DotCommunist (Jan 5, 2015)

It'll be worth fuck all. Do you remember that time on Cash In The Attic where someone's partwork model of Patrick Stewart's skull in his 'Insurrection' era uniform made loads of money? no, no you don't.

When it comes to SW memorabilia you have to remember how mass produced it is. Not unique. Unless you have toys produced between new hope and empire strikes back then you may as well jog on.


and there is no way on gods green earth a MF model will retail today at 900 quid. Swizz.


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## T & P (Jan 6, 2015)

I suspect if you're serious about completing the model, you can buy off the entire publication and required parts in one go at a lower price instead of buying 100 weekly issues- at least that's how it worked in Spain when I was a wee lad. But they'd probably still want upwards of £500 for it, I reckon.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 21, 2015)

That Burger King nuggets for 99p ad 

"Shut the back door!"


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## May Kasahara (Jan 21, 2015)

I see the Co-op annoying bread adverts have been resurrected on Comedy Central. "This is important bread. It has a job to do." FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF. It takes more than some cardboard toast to make up after a drunken row, you craven ballsack.


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## Miss-Shelf (Jan 22, 2015)

May Kasahara said:


> I see the Co-op annoying bread adverts have been resurrected on Comedy Central. "This is important bread. It has a job to do." FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF. It takes more than some cardboard toast to make up after a drunken row, you craven ballsack.


well actually my last relationship was saved temporarily by an oven toasted cheese sandwich, really.  
It ended a year later (the relationship not the sandwich) but it was good while it lasted (the sandwich)


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## editor (Jan 22, 2015)

This is the weirdest one I've seen in a while. 

 

Some young bloke gives a weird simmering sexy look to his boss. Unsettling.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 22, 2015)

T & P said:


> In a delicious irony, it is actually an advert promoting television advertising as a powerful way to sell your products


I like Harvey the dog tbh. He has no place on this thread


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## T & P (Jan 22, 2015)

editor said:


> This is the weirdest one I've seen in a while.
> 
> View attachment 66703
> 
> Some young bloke gives a weird simmering sexy look to his boss. Unsettling.



"I was in Ibiza last week... And I was dancing!"

Fuck off. Just fuck off


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## InfoBurner (Jan 22, 2015)

Cravendale. Biscuits in underpants, swimming in milk. All kinds of wrong


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## tufty79 (Jan 22, 2015)

InfoBurner said:


> View attachment 66726 Cravendale. Biscuits in underpants, swimming in milk. All kinds of wrong


Was even more disturbing when it had the tiger lillies music.


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## sovereignb (Jan 23, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> That Burger King nuggets for 99p ad
> 
> "Shut the back door!"



Yep that annoys the sh!t out of me too.

And i hate anything to do with McDonalds, but their  "like getting your moneys worth" ad , with the guy getting every last drop of petrol is me all over


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## twentythreedom (Jan 23, 2015)

InfoBurner said:


> View attachment 66726
> 
> Cravendale. Biscuits in underpants, swimming in milk. All kinds of wrong


At least it's not Oreos. They have even more kinds of wrong, and shitness


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## May Kasahara (Jan 23, 2015)

Three, with their clutch of Welsh surfers farting on about owning the wave. An ad so painfully suit that it is trying to be sincere and ironic all at once. I hate it, I hate Three, I'm even veering towards hating the Welsh accent because of this unbearable shitpile.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 26, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> That Burger King nuggets for 99p ad
> 
> "Shut the back door!"


I see the shorter version hasn't got him in it


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## twentythreedom (Jan 26, 2015)

Less annoying: the Money Supermarket ad with that dude doing a Beyoncé 

Sharon Osbourne can GTF though


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## Onket (Jan 26, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Less annoying: the Money Supermarket ad with that dude doing a Beyoncé
> 
> Sharon Osbourne can GTF though


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## gosub (Jan 27, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Less annoying: the Money Supermarket ad with that dude doing a Beyoncé
> 
> Sharon Osbourne can GTF though




But I use money supermarket. I shall have to change, I don't mind people thinking I think I ride elephants, but I'm not a hot pant wearing Beyonce singing sort of person


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## onenameshelley (Jan 27, 2015)

InfoBurner said:


> View attachment 66
> 
> Cravendale. Biscuits in underpants, swimming in milk. All kinds of wrong


I liked this when Martin from the tiger lillies did the song. Now its changed it sucks


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## twentythreedom (Jan 27, 2015)

That Slater and Gordon (iirc) ambulance chaser ad, in which the long-suffering, recovered-from-grave-illness wife marks her return to full health by getting back in the fucking kitchen to cook chicken teriyaki for her husband


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## twentythreedom (Jan 27, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> I like Harvey the dog tbh. He has no place on this thread


And here's why 



((((Harvey and Rabbit))))


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## twentythreedom (Jan 27, 2015)

gosub said:


> But I use money supermarket. I shall have to change, I don't mind people thinking I think I ride elephants, but I'm not a hot pant wearing Beyonce singing sort of person


How do you feel about meerkats?


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## Espresso (Jan 28, 2015)

Thomson's ad for sensatory holiday resorts is the one currently giving me the pip.
For one it's not even a word and for two if it was a word, all it could mean was that they have resorts that you can see, hear, touch, smell and see.
For a travel agent, I should have thought that selling us holidays to resorts which *actually* exist in the physical realm was pretty much the starting point, not something to be boasting about in a sodding advert as if it was the pinnacle of anyone's holiday expectations.


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## purenarcotic (Jan 28, 2015)

Espresso said:


> Thomson's ad for sensatory holiday resorts is the one currently giving me the pip.
> For one it's not even a word and for two if it was a word, all it could mean was that they have resorts that you can see, hear, touch, smell and see.
> For a travel agent, I should have thought that selling us holidays to resorts which *actually* exist in the physical realm was pretty much the starting point, not something to be boasting about in a sodding advert as if it was the pinnacle of anyone's holiday expectations.



I can see the steam coming out of your ears.


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## Dr. Furface (Feb 7, 2015)

Who the fuck would want to live 'The Ladbrokes Life'?


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## twentythreedom (Feb 7, 2015)

Warburton's extreme rip off Sandwich Thins 

Mind you, students can gtf


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## DotCommunist (Feb 7, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Warburton's extreme rip off Sandwich Thins
> 
> Mind you, students can gtf


I went through my thins period. Toast them up and chuck your cheese n ham in.

But its a con. You pay more money for less bread. People have rioted throughout history over that.


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## StoneRoad (Feb 7, 2015)

The shouty git ranting on about sales of safestyle windows on the radio. I hate shouty ads anyway, but this one gets my vote as the most annoying advert atm.
Driving up the M6 a couple of days ago the ad was repeated enough times to p155 me off (I was turning the sound down for 30 secs each time it started to assault my ears).


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## twentythreedom (Feb 19, 2015)

The Facebook advert


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## pogo 10 (Feb 19, 2015)

The peperami advert, grrh.


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## twentythreedom (Feb 19, 2015)

StoneRoad said:


> The shouty git ranting on about sales of safestyle windows on the radio. I hate shouty ads anyway, but this one gets my vote as the most annoying advert atm.
> Driving up the M6 a couple of days ago the ad was repeated enough times to p155 me off (I was turning the sound down for 30 secs each time it started to assault my ears).


YA BUY ONE, YA GET ONE FREE, I SAYS YA BUY ONE YA GET ONE FREE, plus free fitting!

Or is it the "55% discount" bollocks?

Safestyle = cunts


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## May Kasahara (Feb 21, 2015)

All adverts whose stock in trade is the cuteification or epification of tedious everyday products. So almost all adverts then. Fuck off with your whistling banjo music and your talking animals and your portrayal of concepts as cute or troublesome creatures invading our homes. Fuck off!


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## Chick Webb (Feb 21, 2015)

"They say" that Vanish gets to work on stains in just 30 minutes.  

The guy who goes on about something being made from "real ingredients" is still annoying me too, although that ad's been around for a while.


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## Chick Webb (Feb 21, 2015)

I just remembered the one that REALLY annoys me - that healthy eating ad where the kids are climbing all over the countertops and getting themselves unhealthy drinks and snacks out of the cupboards.   Don't kids have to ask permission before they go rifling through the cupboards these days?   They will in my house.


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## felixthecat (Feb 21, 2015)

HM Government ad for 'superfast broadband' showing all things British including fish and chips with TOMATO KETCHUP.

You don't have fucking tomato ketchup  with fish and chips


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## May Kasahara (Feb 21, 2015)

Yes you do 

Chick Webb ah, but kids who eat sweets and lard and drink fizzy pop are naturally lacking in manners and self control. Because they're common. Probably poor, too. Little better than animals really  The poor vitaminless creatures.


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## ChrisFilter (Feb 21, 2015)

felixthecat said:


> HM Government ad for 'superfast broadband' showing all things British including fish and chips with TOMATO KETCHUP.
> 
> You don't have fucking tomato ketchup  with fish and chips


I would. Although tartare would be my first choice.


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## T & P (Feb 21, 2015)

Chick Webb said:


> "They say" that Vanish gets to work on stains in just 30 minutes.


 Though not as bad as Carol Smiley doing those interview style adverts for Finish dishwater tablets. 'Steve here is a dishwasher engineer. Steve, what do your customers complain most about dishwashers?'

Her TV career must have hit rock bottom if she's reduced to doing this...


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## twentythreedom (Feb 21, 2015)

T & P said:


> Though not as bad as Carol Smiley doing those interview style adverts for Finish dishwater tablets. 'Steve here is a dishwasher engineer. Steve, what do your customers complain most about dishwashers?'
> 
> Her TV career must have hit rock bottom if she's reduced to doing this...


It's called "Dish and Tips" 

Some cunt got paid to think of that


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## DotCommunist (Mar 4, 2015)

Looks like Brian makes it and gets his own toy. Fuck off Brian.


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## Chick Webb (Mar 4, 2015)

There's a hairspray containing "touchable memory" now.   TBF I know what they mean, but it's still a really stupid phrase.


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## Sirena (Mar 5, 2015)

This is a cut above the average TV commercial..  and it introduces Mr Winner and Vicky the Owl!


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## blairsh (Mar 6, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> The Facebook advert


yes. this.


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## twentythreedom (Mar 6, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> Looks like Brian makes it and gets his own toy. Fuck off Brian.


Yes, insurers fleece us as it is, and now they flog their poxy mascots to gullible fools, then point and laugh while counting their cash


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## DotCommunist (Mar 6, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Yes, insurers fleece us as it is, and now they flog their poxy mascots to gullible fools, then point and laugh while counting their cash


it is the final degredation of capital as we pay for the mascot soft toys of those whose hands are ever in our humble pockets


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## Sirena (Mar 6, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Yes, insurers fleece us as it is, and now they flog their poxy mascots to gullible fools, then point and laugh while counting their cash


I've got two meerkats from compare the meerkat.com.  And I believe I got cheap insurance.

If you can't get round it (and I couldn't - it was my house or car insurance) then get a meerkat toy.


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## twentythreedom (Mar 6, 2015)

Sirena said:


> I've got two meerkats from compare the meerkat.com.  And I believe I got cheap insurance.
> 
> If you can't get round it (and I couldn't - it was my house or car insurance) then get a meerkat toy.


Oh, Sirena


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## DotCommunist (Mar 6, 2015)

Tank ate ma's little oleg toy while I laughed


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## twentythreedom (Mar 6, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> Tank ate ma's little oleg toy while I laughed


That's more like it


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## Sirena (Mar 6, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Oh, Sirena


I am considering a Brian toy with my next insurance purchase.  I believe I am a style victim.


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## twentythreedom (Mar 6, 2015)

Sirena said:


> I am considering a Brian toy with my next insurance purchase.  I believe I am a style victim.


It's not a toy, it's a symbol of your oppression. Brian and the meerkats will point at you and laugh while you sleep, plotting to extract more cash from you at renewal time 

Don't do it!


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## Espresso (Mar 19, 2015)

There is an ad on at the moment for one of those magazine part works that no one ever buys more than two of. Anyway, this is for something called Art Therapy. As far a I can tell, it is colouring in for grown ups. You get patterns and colouring pencils and a pencil sharpener and that kind of stuff. First issue is 99p. Next issues are £2.99, I see.

Actually, I don't think the advert annoys me as much as the product it's advertising baffles me. I can't imagine who'd buy it. 
If you are a kid and you like colouring in, great - those colouring in books cost pennies anywhere they are sold. Crayons, colouring in pencils and felt tips are all pretty cheap and provide hours of entertainment. I think most kids like colouring at some point.  
If you are an adult who likes doing arty things, you'd surely not be buying a sodding magazine that tells you how to colour in the "design pages" supplied.
Is it aimed at adults who are no longer arty, to remind them of how much fun colouring in was?
Baffled, I say.

Arsebiscuits. I might just have talked myself into buying the bloody thing to see if the advert is correct in its extravagant claims that I will be relaxed after a spot of colouring in.


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## gosub (Mar 19, 2015)

Paintbucket took the fun out of colouring in


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## Pseudopsycho (Mar 20, 2015)

Espresso said:


> There is an ad on at the moment for one of those magazine part works that no one ever buys more than two of. Anyway, this is for something called Art Therapy. As far a I can tell, it is colouring in for grown ups. You get patterns and colouring pencils and a pencil sharpener and that kind of stuff. First issue is 99p. Next issues are £2.99, I see.
> 
> Actually, I don't think the advert annoys me as much as the product it's advertising baffles me. I can't imagine who'd buy it.
> If you are a kid and you like colouring in, great - those colouring in books cost pennies anywhere they are sold. Crayons, colouring in pencils and felt tips are all pretty cheap and provide hours of entertainment. I think most kids like colouring at some point.
> ...


Thing is there are some incredibly detailed colouring in for adults (my missus does them on occassion) and they only cost a couple of quid from your local discount bookshop/99p store


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 21, 2015)

Radio ads currently doing my swede; Have I got PPIiiiiii? And Gumtree with Brian  cunthead Blesssed shouting away. Either are enough to get me sympathising with Michael Ryan.


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## trabuquera (Mar 27, 2015)

Activia yoghurt with Gok Wan rabbiting on about how it'll do wonders for your energy and vitality levels etc. What gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME is when he starts talking about what sound like its "delicious fruit parings" and EVERY SINGLE TIME my brain goes "fruit parings?! yuck! couldn't they put some of the proper fruit in? why should I knowingly pay for floor sweepings and offcuts of fruit, eh?".

He is of course talking about "fruit pairings" but my brain is so set in its ad-rejecting kneejerk ways I can't make it stop.


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## May Kasahara (Mar 28, 2015)

I thought it was just me! Every single time, 'urgh, parings'.


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## Ted Striker (Mar 29, 2015)

"We've been animating for about 3 years now...Did I tell you I got a new sim only deal from Vodafone"

Fuck off you uber whopper hipsters


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## Pseudopsycho (Mar 29, 2015)

Ted Striker said:


> "We've been animating for about 3 years now...Did I tell you I got a new sim only deal from Vodafone"
> 
> Fuck off you uber whopper hipsters



I'm glad someone posted this; I've attempted several times but have been struck illiterate with irrational hatred.

Why the fuck does how they these walking beards been animating got anything to do with anything else?!?!


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## gosub (Mar 29, 2015)

Pseudopsycho said:


> I'm glad someone posted this; I've attempted several times but have been struck illiterate with irrational hatred.
> 
> Why the fuck does how they these walking beards been animating got anything to do with anything else?!?!



Because you need to know the setup: why are these people having a mind numbily innane conversation about mobile phone tariffs???? Because they have spent 3 years in each others company moving things a little bit at a time, and have exhausted ALL other topics of conversation.


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## Pseudopsycho (Mar 29, 2015)

gosub said:


> Because you need to know the setup: why are these people having a mind numbily innane conversation about mobile phone tariffs???? Because they have spent 3 years in each others company moving things a little bit at a time, and have exhausted ALL other topics of conversation.


I'm getting het up for no reason now so I'll think I'll batter some Dragons in Skyrim!


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## trabuquera (Apr 1, 2015)

Espresso said:


> There is an ad on at the moment for one of those magazine part works that no one ever buys more than two of. Anyway, this is for something called Art Therapy. As far a I can tell, it is colouring in for grown ups. You get patterns and colouring pencils and a pencil sharpener and that kind of stuff. First issue is 99p. Next issues are £2.99, I see.
> 
> Actually, I don't think the advert annoys me as much as the product it's advertising baffles me. I can't imagine who'd buy it.


 
Aha, but this is a Legitimate Psychological Aid and a Social Trend in Anxiety Treatment. Trend originating in France apparently (they're very anxious over there, on average, it's all the cheese.) Entirely un-bogus Trend Analysis reportage here:
http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/news/uk/article4398423.ece


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## Espresso (Apr 15, 2015)

There is an advert on at the moment for Etihad airways in which Nicole Kidman lounges and lolls about looking very glamorous and wittering on about....well... I'm not really sure. Lots of inspirational waffle about not very much. 
Nice work if you can get it, I'm sure, but it's an advert for an airline. Now either I'm the dimmest dimbo in dimland but if I'm booking a flight I want one that goes to where I'm going, when I want to go for a price I am willing to pay. Is that not how it works?
Or am I supposed to quite fancy a go on on an Etihad aeroplane, *then* plan my holiday based on their destinations?


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## stavros (Apr 15, 2015)

I think I put much the same in last year's thread, but "Booking dot com, booking dot yeah" just smacks of a particularly ineffective brainstorming session.


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## Maurice Picarda (Apr 15, 2015)

Espresso said:


> There is an advert on at the moment for Etihad airways in which Nicole Kidman lounges and lolls about looking very glamorous and wittering on about....well... I'm not really sure. Lots of inspirational waffle about not very much.
> Nice work if you can get it, I'm sure, but it's an advert for an airline. Now either I'm the dimmest dimbo in dimland but if I'm booking a flight I want one that goes to where I'm going, when I want to go for a price I am willing to pay. Is that not how it works?
> Or am I supposed to quite fancy a go on on an Etihad aeroplane, *then* plan my holiday based on their destinations?



Oh, come on. Umpteen airlines fly between, say, London and New York. It really is a matter of choosing a carrier, and it's perfectly reasonable to value seat width, food, the likelihood of being stranded in the wrong city and so on - meaning that a sane person would avoid a US carrier like the plague, settle for a European flag carrier (as long as they weren't code sharing with an American outfit) and if they could afford it, splurge on an Asian or compromise on a Gulf airline. And most people who fly do so when work is paying and they can get away with paying a couple of hundred quid over the rock-bottom price.


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## Maurice Picarda (Apr 15, 2015)

The splurge Asian airlines obviously don't include South Asian ones, which only a mentalist would book.


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## Espresso (Apr 15, 2015)

Maurice Picarda said:


> Oh, come on. Umpteen airlines fly between, say, London and New York. It really is a matter of choosing a carrier, and it's perfectly reasonable to value seat width, food, the likelihood of being stranded in the wrong city and so on - meaning that a sane person would avoid a US carrier like the plague, settle for a European flag carrier (as long as they weren't code sharing with an American outfit) and if they could afford it, splurge on an Asian or compromise on a Gulf airline. And most people who fly do so when work is paying and they can get away with paying a couple of hundred quid over the rock-bottom price.



I see you inhabit a vastly different world to me.


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## Maurice Picarda (Apr 15, 2015)

Espresso said:


> I see you inhabit a vastly different world to me.



Bahnhof Strasse or 5t3IIa would tell you in detail about the quality of bread rolls and the relative soothingness of the easy listening audio channel on any airline on any route. I'm hardly a discerning customer.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 15, 2015)

no idea mate, 5t3IIa and I only fly private, avoids the diseased masses.


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## The Octagon (Apr 16, 2015)

Not necessarily annoying, but.... 

Sylvester Stallone
Warburtons 

Why Sly? Why?


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## tufty79 (Apr 16, 2015)

The Octagon said:


> Not necessarily annoying, but....
> 
> Sylvester Stallone
> Warburtons
> ...


Got to be just for the dough..


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## The Octagon (Apr 16, 2015)

tufty79 said:


> Got to be just for the dough..



*polite applause*


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## Chick Webb (Apr 18, 2015)

Have we moaned about the auld lad and young lad having putting their fries in the lid of their burger box in common yet?  That's definitely the most annoying one at the moment.


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## hot air baboon (Apr 25, 2015)

.....god almighty that one with the pranny in denim shorts is an abomination.....even on fast-forward...


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## Me76 (Apr 26, 2015)

Radio adverts for belvita biscuits are doing my head in at the moment.  Both the male and female.  The tune. The message. The cringy ' I was doing sit ups'. 

Never mind the fact that the biscuits aren't exactly healthy and have a fuck ton of sugar.  You might as we'll! Have bourbons or hobnobs for breakfast.


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## davesgcr (Apr 29, 2015)

Viking Cruises .....

Not to mention the dead annoying "hipsters" in their lakeside work space - so infuriating I cannot recall the advert. (especially the woman) 


Need more wine - a frazzling day.


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## gosub (Apr 29, 2015)

not so much annoying but sign'othetimes - the birds eye ratatouille.   Time was you'd see how instant gravy was helping to keep the 2.4 kid nuclear family together...now ...a ready meal can help make a good impression with your boy friends daughter.


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## RareBird (May 18, 2015)

TravelLodge Muppets - aaaaaaargh


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## quiet guy (May 18, 2015)

I'll second that, the Travelodge muppets adverts really grate


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## friendofdorothy (May 18, 2015)

I get most annoyed at all the money lending ones - 'satuma loans so much easier to swallow' - at over 600% - just - fuck - off


----------



## Sirena (May 18, 2015)

"I've been asked many times what my number one interview was.  Tough question."

Well, fucking answer it then!


----------



## T & P (May 18, 2015)

Shit savings plan anyway. Far better off opening a savings account with a standing order- at least there is no risk of losing it all if one can no longer pay in the instalments, unlike with this lot.


----------



## Sirena (May 18, 2015)

T & P said:


> Shit savings plan anyway. Far better off opening a savings account with a standing order- at least there is no risk of losing it all if one can no longer pay in the instalments, unlike with this lot.


But you can't get this kind of cover for less...


----------



## friendofdorothy (May 18, 2015)

Sirena said:


> But you can't get this kind of cover for less...


just dont live too long... or you'll pay more than your covered for


----------



## Sirena (May 18, 2015)

But you get a free pen just for enquiring and a welcome gift when you join


----------



## Chick Webb (May 29, 2015)

That kid saying "scrummy saaaaarnies" in an obnoxious voice on the Flora ad is driving me mad.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 1, 2015)

Nationwide ad with the BEST DAD scarf 

What a load of nauseating cack 

#WithYouForGeneratons

Almost as bad as those Halifax ads. Barclay's digital eagles can get to fuck too


----------



## Chick Webb (Jun 2, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Nationwide ad with the BEST DAD scarf
> 
> What a load of nauseating cack
> 
> ...


I couldn't believe the epic of the scarf! It went on and on!  And we're supposed to find it cute that yer one used the details she had at work to stalk ratty scarf man.


----------



## trabuquera (Jun 2, 2015)

twee child going on about how "mum and dad used to live at nana's but they didn't like it", so they went off, talked to a mortgage company, indebted themselves for life with a loan to buy a home "so they could have meeee!".

 Almost everything that's fucked about modern British housing, money and childrearing all in one single ad! Result!!!


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Jun 2, 2015)

HI IM BARRY SCOTT! WHAT A SPEEDRUSH!

Fuck off.


----------



## Me76 (Jun 7, 2015)

The one with Nicole Pussycat dolls woman obviously green screened into a garden with others. 

So obvious that she was happy to take the money to do the advert but couldn't possibly film with 'normal' mortals.


----------



## Chick Webb (Jun 7, 2015)

Me76 said:


> The one with Nicole Pussycat dolls woman obviously green screened into a garden with others.
> 
> So obvious that she was happy to take the money to do the advert but couldn't possibly film with 'normal' mortals.


What ad is that?  Is that one with "mmmm chocolate bawls..." because I've been wondering who that person is.  It's obvious from those ads (like the one with her getting yogurt on herself on the Orient Express) that we're supposed to know who she is, but I don't.


----------



## Me76 (Jun 7, 2015)

Chick Webb said:


> What ad is that?  Is that one with "mmmm chocolate bawls..." because I've been wondering who that person is.  It's obvious from those ads (like the one with her getting yogurt on herself on the Orient Express) that we're supposed to know who she is, but I don't.


That's the one. She is Nicole Scherzinger (had to look up how to spell it). Former Pussycat doll and girlfriend of Lewis Hamilton.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 7, 2015)

trabuquera said:


> twee child going on about how "mum and dad used to live at nana's but they didn't like it", so they went off, talked to a mortgage company, indebted themselves for life with a loan to buy a home "so they could have meeee!".
> 
> Almost everything that's fucked about modern British housing, money and childrearing all in one single ad! Result!!!



Its aspirational you filthy commie


----------



## T & P (Jun 8, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> HI IM BARRY SCOTT! WHAT A SPEEDRUSH!
> 
> Fuck off.


Shame they didn't film that ad on The Smiler.


----------



## Espresso (Jun 13, 2015)

I've just seen an advert for some sort of bottled water. Smart water, if you don't mind.  
The woman doing the talking for this advert says this pile of utter shite:

"We took our inspiration from the clouds to vapour distill our water"
Good God.


----------



## May Kasahara (Jun 13, 2015)

Haha, I saw the poster advert for that yesterday and shouted 'oh fuck off!' from the comfort of my car.


----------



## QOTH (Jun 16, 2015)

The Haribo advert with kids voices (or faux kids voices - I don't know any kids that speak like that) dubbed on to adults. 

Annoying AND sinister.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 16, 2015)

QOTH said:


> The Haribo advert with kids voices (or faux kids voices - I don't know any kids that speak like that) dubbed on to adults.
> 
> Annoying AND sinister.


Yes, I'm with you on that one, it is a fucking awful advert


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 16, 2015)

Espresso said:


> I've just seen an advert for some sort of bottled water. Smart water, if you don't mind.
> The woman doing the talking for this advert says this pile of utter shite:
> 
> "We took our inspiration from the clouds to vapour distill our water"
> Good God.


I saw that advertised on a bus - inspired by clouds, I mean really, wtf


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jun 16, 2015)

Surely nobody leaves the mute button unpressed when the adverts are on.


----------



## Espresso (Jun 16, 2015)

Hocus Eye. said:


> Surely nobody leaves the mute button unpressed when the adverts are on.



That's a very peculiar thing to say, given the number of people in this thread who are complaining about what they've heard in an advert.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 16, 2015)

I just saw the Best Dad Scarf ad again - so awful


----------



## Sirena (Jun 16, 2015)

Espresso said:


> That's a very peculiar thing to say, given the number of people in this thread who are complaining about what they've heard in an advert.


Yeah! Spoilers gonna spoil!


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 16, 2015)

Is it me or has Fathers Day been very heavily advertised this year? I keep seeing tv ads, getting email deals saying "buy your dad shit" over the last 3 weeks or so.

Its fucking annoying as he died 7 years ago.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jun 17, 2015)

Espresso said:


> That's a very peculiar thing to say, given the number of people in this thread who are complaining about what they've heard in an advert.


Maybe not so much peculiar as apposite. You don't have to listen to them. It is your own fault if you do.


----------



## MochaSoul (Jun 17, 2015)

Every now and then I think I may be missing out on a telly. Thanks everyone!


----------



## Espresso (Jun 17, 2015)

Hocus Eye. said:


> Maybe not so much peculiar as apposite. You don't have to listen to them. It is your own fault if you do.



Eh? How is it apposite? Apposite means relevant.
If you think it's relevant to say no one listens to adverts in a thread where quite a lot of people are complaining about things they've heard in an advert, then I do think that is peculiar.  
You can be surprised that so  many people do listen to adverts, of course. You can be scornful of the people who do listen. And you'll get no argument from me that anyone who has no interest in listening to adverts ought to switch the sound off; but seeing as this thread is all about  complaining about adverts, turning the sound off when they're on would mean cutting off a rich seam of ranting for this thread.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 17, 2015)

Fathers Day is a right cunt, I keep thinking I should just find some random old bloke and take him out for a pint


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jun 17, 2015)

Hocus Eye. said:


> Surely nobody leaves the mute button unpressed when the adverts are on.


It takes me all my time to find the remote never mind the mute button!


----------



## Sirena (Jun 19, 2015)

Cortana?


----------



## Chick Webb (Jun 19, 2015)

Sirena said:


> Cortana?



It annoys my sister a lot that no one says please or thank you to Cortana.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 30, 2015)

Oh God, that McDonald's ad with the couple on an awkward date, who say goodbye then by wonderful chance meet again later at the counter of the local McD 

Just so fucking shit


----------



## stavros (Jul 4, 2015)

I have no problem with the message of the advert, but whenever I see this Samaritans poster I always think of Paul Whitehouse doing his dreadful character insurance ads.


----------



## May Kasahara (Jul 4, 2015)

Yes, me too! Quite disconcerting.


----------



## May Kasahara (Jul 4, 2015)

So disconcerting I posted it twice.


----------



## zoooo (Jul 5, 2015)

That hotels/holiday ad where a dog barks the word 'book'. Over and over. At an incredibly infuriating volume. I want to kill everyone.

(Not the dog, it's not his stupid fault.)


----------



## stavros (Jul 5, 2015)

Well it's Tour de France time again, so ITV4 put the same ads in every single fecking break. I've managed to forget which ones they are, but undoubtedly over the next three weeks they'll get into my head with the subtlety of swallowing a cluster bomb.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 5, 2015)

Sirena said:


> Cortana?



That was so bad I had to watch it twice. So painful.


----------



## Gingerman (Jul 5, 2015)

That ad for some yogurt with that beardie bloke shouting out that he's full and also the one where the guy is constantly checking his bank account singing that stupid song "Today I'll buy my kids a treat, andI'llmakefriends witheveryoneImeet..."


----------



## twentythreedom (Jul 5, 2015)

As a general rule, the higher the channel number the worse the average quality of advert.

Eww, there's one of those Facebook 'Friends' ads on  They are fucking awful


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 6, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Oh God, that McDonald's ad with the couple on an awkward date, who say goodbye then by wonderful chance meet again later at the counter of the local McD
> 
> Just so fucking shit


Ugh, saw that last night. I guess they just make this drivel so the name sticks in the back of your head.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 6, 2015)

the safestyle uk windows man has really sold out


----------



## twentythreedom (Jul 6, 2015)

Ooooff!! Motherfucker 

Just saw the McDonald's Shit Date advert directly followed by Best Dad Scarf 

Beat that


----------



## xes (Jul 6, 2015)

Has anyone seen the Church of Scientology advert?


----------



## stavros (Jul 9, 2015)

During the TdF highlights, Mo Farah was voicing an advert for some kind of foodstuff, which seemed a little odd at 7:30 given it's Ramadan at the moment (I don't know whether he observes it or not).


----------



## NoXion (Jul 11, 2015)

tufty79 said:


> Got to be just for the dough..



He must really knead it.

Sorry.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2015)

Fame at last! I have some music on a new ad.
Only airs in the us though.


----------



## ice-is-forming (Jul 11, 2015)

how cool! your music is on the conner mcgregor ad!


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2015)

ice-is-forming said:


> how cool! your music is on the conner mcgregor ad!


I had no idea who he was. Spotted his PIC on a Facebook post just last week. I thought he was just some actor.


----------



## ice-is-forming (Jul 11, 2015)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> I had no idea who he was. Spotted his PIC on a Facebook post just last week. I thought he was just some actor.



nah, big UFC fights on saturday night in US,  it starts around noon tomorrow (sunday) here in aus. I'm looking forwards to it


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2015)

ice-is-forming said:


> nah, big UFC fights on saturday night in US,  it starts around noon tomorrow (sunday) here in aus. I'm looking forwards to it



Oh God, I hope he wins, my ad won't be so cool or be played so much if he gets beaten to a pulp.
Royaltys man!


----------



## gosub (Jul 24, 2015)

On face level Katie Price and Piers Morgan's adverts make me smile, however buying a lotto ticket will not reduce the chances of their dystopian viions of the future happening. And I presume they go paid for the adverts ... giving them capital to invest in making it happen


----------



## AverageJoe (Jul 24, 2015)

Is that you?  I fucking LOVE it.    you should work with my mates GenGrave. I think that would be a double bill worth paying double for.


----------



## Ted Striker (Jul 24, 2015)

Is there a thread for advert that bring the lols? I feel ashamed to admit one does it for me every time...


----------



## twentythreedom (Jul 24, 2015)

Ted Striker said:


> Is there a thread for advert that bring the lols? I feel ashamed to admit one does it for me every time...


Yes, this thread. Tell us


----------



## isvicthere? (Jul 24, 2015)

Since the crash, those bloodsucking monsters, the banks, have gone balls-out to produce ads that present them as nice, fluffy and people-friendly.

Two current annoying ones are the Santander one where the "best Dad" jumper is returned, and the Lloyds "going back in history" one.


----------



## isvicthere? (Jul 24, 2015)

Sirena said:


> Cortana?




A band with "clean" in their name? Let's rock!


----------



## Ted Striker (Jul 24, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Yes, this thread. Tell us



Can't find it in English, though the Spanish version should suffice.



This is exactly the sort of absent-minded-ness (forgetting there'd be someone in the back), combined with a pitch perfect rendition of the embarassing loud parrot-esque scream I do at the very hint of unexpected/discomfort.

It even makes me jump if it's on and I'm not watching it and I hear it in the room


----------



## twentythreedom (Jul 24, 2015)

Annoying advert - confirmed


----------



## zoooo (Jul 24, 2015)

Ha, that was quite funny actually.
Is also quite distracting that the front passenger is basically Mark Owen.


----------



## stavros (Jul 25, 2015)

Thierry Henry telling us that England has "The Greatest League in the World"©, although only since 1992 obviously.


----------



## Sirena (Jul 25, 2015)

This should be annoying, because it's really a public information film, but it's excellent ...


----------



## StoneRoad (Jul 25, 2015)

isvicthere? said:


> Since the crash, those bloodsucking monsters, the banks, have gone balls-out to produce ads that present them as nice, fluffy and people-friendly.
> 
> Two current annoying ones are the Santander one where the "best Dad" jumper is returned, and the Lloyds "going back in history" one.



Oi ! my lifeboat is in that. It's their 250th anniversary ... at least they've brought the black horses back.
Actually, I pretty much detest all the banking adverts. Bloodsucking, thieving, profiteering  ..... grumble, mumble


----------



## twentythreedom (Jul 25, 2015)

isvicthere? said:


> Since the crash, those bloodsucking monsters, the banks, have gone balls-out to produce ads that present them as nice, fluffy and people-friendly.
> 
> Two current annoying ones are the Santander one where the "best Dad" jumper is returned, and the Lloyds "going back in history" one.


The 'Best Dad' is truly a sickening piece of exploitative, emotive cack 

Fuck off with that, you cunts


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Jul 25, 2015)

The Travelodge with the puppets I feel I have sussed out, the puppets are meant to represent the political party leaders I think?

Makes it more shit really why David Cameron doesnt have 3 chins.


----------



## stavros (Jul 26, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> The Travelodge with the puppets I feel I have sussed out, the puppets are meant to represent the political party leaders I think?
> 
> Makes it more shit really why David Cameron doesnt have 3 chins.



I've certainly spotted the Cameron one. Who are the others, given Labour doesn't have a leader and no one knows what Tom Farron looks like?


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Jul 26, 2015)

stavros said:


> I've certainly spotted the Cameron one. Who are the others, given Labour doesn't have a leader and no one knows what Tom Farron looks like?



Farage and Bennett, Leanne Wood is there I believe. From what I see anyway, might be different.


----------



## T & P (Jul 30, 2015)

The annoying gocompare cunt tenor is back, in their most cringeworthy advert yet


----------



## Mogden (Jul 30, 2015)

That shitty fucking Tripadvisor ad with the bookit dog. That dog bit sets my sound phobias off. Hate it.


----------



## zoooo (Jul 31, 2015)

It makes me launch across the room for the mute button every time. 
They must have made it unbearable on purpose, surely? But why? Yes, people are talking about it, but only to vow never to use the cunts.


----------



## isvicthere? (Jul 31, 2015)

Oh, oh, another one!

Nicole Scherzinger falling over and dragging everyone's food over with her. Instead of the assembled group shouting, "You stupid, clumsy cow!" they smile indulgently.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Aug 2, 2015)

Those fucking Meerkats and Schwarzenegger, united at last.

Jesus... why? Does Arnie not have enough cash already?


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Aug 3, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> Those fucking Meerkats and Schwarzenegger, united at last.
> 
> Jesus... why? Does Arnie not have enough cash already?


See also Stallone and Warburtons bread 

At least JCVD took the piss out of himself with a great mullet...


----------



## BigMoaner (Aug 3, 2015)

If i see that meerkat in real life i am going to throttle it.


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 3, 2015)

BigMoaner said:


> If i see that meerkat in real life i am going to throttle it.


my old dear got a free oleg from them for buying insurance, she gave it to Tank the terrier who ripped it into a thousand pieces. I had to hoover up all the stuffing but it was worth it.


----------



## BigMoaner (Aug 3, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> my old dear got a free oleg from them for buying insurance, she gave it to Tank the terrier who ripped it into a thousand pieces. I had to hoover up all the stuffing but it was worth it.


pics?


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 3, 2015)

BigMoaner said:


> pics?


you'll just have to imagine it.


----------



## gosub (Aug 3, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> Those fucking Meerkats and Schwarzenegger, united at last.
> 
> Jesus... why? Does Arnie not have enough cash already?



it doesn't work anyway, they work for compare the meerkat iirc, so what are they doing badgering an aging American politician on behalf of an unrelated company


----------



## Espresso (Aug 3, 2015)

I've just seen an advert for a hair dye, wherein the voiceover woman waxes lyrical in a whispery voice about the legendary brunette of Sophia Loren.
To illustrate the point, the advertisers have elected to show us a photograph of Miss Loren in her heyday. She looks all sultry and glamorous and full of star quality and has a very elegant fifties hairstyle in what is obviously a studio photograph.  

The photograph is black and white.


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 3, 2015)

I got this one on youtube the other day when I was trying to listen to a son, some bearded wank who goes 'hey, I like my50,000 dollar car (and he shows you it) parked here in my garage up in the hollywood hills. But you know what I value more? Knowledge. Take a look at my bookshelf'

I've never got further than that cos you can skip by that point but I can categorically state that anyone who says 'have a look at my bookshelf' is a bellend of the first water and will be fed feet first into a meatgrinder come the glorious day


----------



## __steve__ (Aug 12, 2015)

NoXion said:


> He must really knead it.
> 
> Sorry.



Anyway you slice it, that's a crumby joke


----------



## gosub (Aug 12, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> I got this one on youtube the other day when I was trying to listen to a son, some bearded wank who goes 'hey, I like my50,000 dollar car (and he shows you it) parked here in my garage up in the hollywood hills. But you know what I value more? Knowledge. Take a look at my bookshelf'
> 
> I've never got further than that cos you can skip by that point but I can categorically state that anyone who says 'have a look at my bookshelf' is a bellend of the first water and will be fed feet first into a meatgrinder come the glorious day


I suppose you'll be burning the books as well.  

A mate of mine eventually gave up teaching in Cambodia because of the long-term damage twatish thinking like yours causes, was too frustrating.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Aug 12, 2015)

gosub said:


> I suppose you'll be burning the books as well.
> 
> A mate of mine eventually gave up teaching in Cambodia because of the long-term damage twatish thinking like yours causes, was too frustrating.



I'm pretty sure the issue is with books as status symbols or ways to declare superiority. At least I hope so anyway. 

Books are jewels after all (this was beaten into my psyche so hard I am now incapable of throwing books away without feeling guilty, thanks mum)


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 12, 2015)

gosub said:


> I suppose you'll be burning the books as well.
> 
> A mate of mine eventually gave up teaching in Cambodia because of the long-term damage twatish thinking like yours causes, was too frustrating.


way to miss the point. The twat was showing of his big house,  his big car and his massive library. I got loads of books myself but I'm not some 'observe my intellectual penis' sort. Its wanky. And anyway the ad continues the not so subtle american theme of wealth=intelligence.


----------



## gosub (Aug 12, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> I'm pretty sure the issue is with books as status symbols or ways to declare superiority. At least I hope so anyway.
> 
> Books are jewels after all (this was beaten into my psyche so hard I am now incapable of throwing books away without feeling guilty, thanks mum)


As misguided as those who fetishize a collection they've no intention of reading are, at it's core is still a reverence for knowledge and opinion.
   The fuckers that need shooting  are them that buy books by the yard, glue them together and use them as interior design (a few pubs I've been in)


----------



## sovereignb (Aug 14, 2015)

Is there a thread for adverts we love???? Cuz im loving the latest Lucozade ad


----------



## 8115 (Aug 16, 2015)

"She'll log in with her smile".

NO!


----------



## gosub (Aug 16, 2015)

8115 said:


> "She'll log in with her smile".
> 
> NO!


Made me try and use the feature, though.   It would nt turn on.   Probably coz I'm over 40


----------



## Reno (Aug 16, 2015)

The O2 Be Like a Dog campaign is catist ! I don't want for cats to be like dogs, I like cats just the way they are. Don't they alienate cat lovers ?


----------



## trabuquera (Aug 16, 2015)

maybe I have too low an opinion of people in general but the latest dodge in the wording on adverts for payday lenders is making me angry, not just annoyed. Do they really think that saying their interest rate is "one five oh seven APR" really hook in folk too thick or innumerate or uneducated about finance to realise it means more than ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED per cent per annum? or is it just that it sounds gentler?  either way it makes me  and


----------



## madad (Aug 23, 2015)

Great that fucking annoying Brian the gimpy robot Is back on our screens. When is this creepy horrid squeaky ugly twat going to fuck off.... It scares my daughter when the ad is on. I had one of these toys and took GREAT pleasure of running it over with my car before setting fire to it in the back garden. Also IT is an IT not a him. Fuck off now Brian you wobbly cheap tin can, get recycled into something useful..


----------



## Ted Striker (Aug 24, 2015)

Terry fucking Henry and his 'best league in the world' bollocks with CGI that is less realistic than the Thunderbirds tv show.

Fuck off!


----------



## gosub (Aug 24, 2015)

madad said:


> Great that fucking annoying Brian the gimpy robot Is back on our screens. When is this creepy horrid squeaky ugly twat going to fuck off.... It scares my daughter when the ad is on. I had one of these toys and took GREAT pleasure of running it over with my car before setting fire to it in the back garden. Also IT is an IT not a him. Fuck off now Brian you wobbly cheap tin can, get recycled into something useful..


Curious, thought the whole toy thing was about pester power to sell insurance


----------



## fishfinger (Aug 24, 2015)

gosub said:


> Curious, thought the whole toy thing was about pester power to sell insurance


If it was, then they'd be giving away the baby-bot characters, as they are quite cute, unlike Brian!


----------



## zoooo (Aug 24, 2015)

Reno said:


> The O2 Be Like a Dog campaign is catist ! I don't want for cats to be like dogs, I like cats just the way they are. Don't they alienate cat lovers ?


Yep. The assumption that dogs are better than cats is stupid and annoying. Piss off, O2.

(Extra annoying cos Julian Barratt does the voiceover and I love him.)


----------



## Artaxerxes (Aug 24, 2015)

8115 said:


> "She'll log in with her smile".
> 
> NO!



And then after an unfortunate accident leaves her scarred and bandaged she'll lose access to her documents and virtually her entire life, thus plunging her further into a spiral of depression.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Aug 24, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> Those fucking Meerkats and Schwarzenegger, united at last.
> 
> Jesus... why? Does Arnie not have enough cash already?


I think that's a looky-likey.
Either that or surgery has changed his face.
Both of which are possible.....


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Aug 24, 2015)

8115 said:


> "She'll log in with her smile".
> 
> NO!


That is an odd looking baby as well....


----------



## xes (Aug 24, 2015)

Anyone seen the scientology advert on c 4 ?


----------



## madad (Aug 24, 2015)

My hatred for Brian the stinking robot is now at an all time high  ITS upset my daughter (again) now can't get her back to sleep.... If I ever see robocock Brian I will botnap it and throw it off a cliff....and hope its screams....


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 27, 2015)

'schwepps. Seperating the women from the girls'

fuck off you sub schlouer cunts. Theres nothing especially grown up about your drinks and nobody uses them except as mixers for their alcohol. Twats. And stop with the gender targetted advertising for a soft fucking drink you shithouse mugs.


----------



## Dr. Furface (Aug 27, 2015)

Ted Striker said:


> Terry fucking Henry and his 'best league in the world' bollocks with CGI that is less realistic than the Thunderbirds tv show.
> 
> Fuck off!


I don't think it's supposed to be realistic or fool anyone, but I share your irritation with it.


----------



## vogonity (Aug 27, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> 'schwepps. Seperating the women from the girls'
> 
> fuck off you sub schlouer cunts. Theres nothing especially grown up about your drinks and nobody uses them except as mixers for their alcohol. Twats. And stop with the gender targetted advertising for a soft fucking drink you shithouse mugs.



Everything about that commercial is hateful. And they show it in the cinema so you can't mute the thing.

Also shown in the cinema is the deeply annoying "there's a beer for that" commercial that's full of normal people but just makes me think of hipsters enjoying craft ales. Furthermore, Picturehouse cinemas show this gut wrenchingly twee promo featuring a pop up cinema in a dingy hall that's so dust filled that you wonder how no one in the film ends up with a lung infection. The soundtrack for this promo, all full of plinky-plonky music and distorted vocals, is *exceptionally* vile.


----------



## vogonity (Aug 27, 2015)

The commercial featuring the CGI'd model looking like Audrey Hepburn advertising... christ, I've forgotten what it advertises! How effective. Anyway, it gives me the creeps.


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 27, 2015)

vogonity said:


> Also shown in the cinema is the deeply annoying "there's a beer for that" commercial that's full of normal people but just makes me think of hipsters enjoying craft ales


Taunting you, given the fact that you aren't allowed to drink a beer in the cinema. Not that this has ever stopped me. But the principle.


----------



## isvicthere? (Aug 27, 2015)

I think we have a winner. Even in the puke-inducing world of perfume ads, this still stands tall.....


----------



## trabuquera (Aug 27, 2015)

vogonity said:


> The commercial featuring the CGI'd model looking like Audrey Hepburn advertising... christ, I've forgotten what it advertises! How effective. Anyway, it gives me the creeps.


 
Me too, for a million reasons but the top 3 are ...

1) classic movies shouldn't just be robotically reanimated and twisted into new plotlines for ads and the colorisation/animatronics are shite.

2) Audrey Hepburn was a well known anorexic so using her image to flog mildly cocoa-flavoured British "chocolate" product is double wrong.

3) the ad encourages ASBO-worthy behaviour and being selfish. Impatient with your bus journey? Just jump off, steal the driver's hat, plonk it on top of some young man who's eyeing you up, treat the new guy as an unpaid chauffeur, sit in the back so he can't even gawp at you or feel you up and don't even give him a single square of your horrible chocolate. if you tried this shit in real life you'd end up assaulted and/or arrested within minutes, even in Italy ffs!


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## Artaxerxes (Aug 27, 2015)

isvicthere? said:


> I think we have a winner. Even in the puke-inducing world of perfume ads, his still stands tall.....



You mean you don't play the piano naked and slathered in perfume? You're missing out


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## isvicthere? (Aug 27, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> You mean you don't play the piano naked and slathered in perfume? You're missing out



I did take some piano lessons at school, but dropped out before the stripping off stage.


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## twentythreedom (Aug 27, 2015)

Aaargh!! Ribena 

Zoobedoo Zoobedoo etc FUCK OFF


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## RareBird (Aug 31, 2015)

Annoying Tiny Dancer advert for John Lewis


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## Espresso (Aug 31, 2015)

That ad for the Health Lottery with Anthea Turner in it, wearing The Stig's cast off catsuit. That is what's currently annoying me most in the world of adverts. 
No one could be as happy as she's letting on to be. If she was any more gleeful, she'd explode.


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## gosub (Aug 31, 2015)

RareBird said:


> Annoying Tiny Dancer advert for John Lewis


i quite like that, but one of a number where a kid can't have been paid enough to make up for all the times its going to be dragged out for the rest of their life.


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## Mrs Miggins (Sep 9, 2015)

I think I just heard the voice of St Jarvis of Cocker on a Sainsbury's advert


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## twentythreedom (Sep 9, 2015)

Mrs Miggins said:


> I think I just heard the voice of St Jarvis of Cocker on a Sainsbury's advert


A new low


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## DotCommunist (Sep 9, 2015)

well now when he says 'I took her to a supermarket' in the hit 'Common People' we know which one it was


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## Mrs Miggins (Sep 9, 2015)

It gets worse
Now he's suggesting putting instant coffee granules in spag bol


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## isvicthere? (Sep 14, 2015)

The Windows 10 ad is well nauseating, and drifts precariously in a "united colours of Benetton or coca cola "I'd like to teach the world to sing" direction.


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## stavros (Sep 14, 2015)

Lucozade dropped a bollock by having Leigh Halfpenny in their World Cup ad before injury ruled him out.


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## porp (Sep 15, 2015)

The o2 'Make them Giants' animation. I don't hate it, I just find it baffling. It seems to suggest the sense of self worth of these giants stems from the adoration of their fans. To the extend that it's true, that makes me a bit sad -  and the ad itself has a certain melancholy.


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## isvicthere? (Sep 26, 2015)

Hope I'm not going off topic with a couple of ads I actually like.

Swimdem, which I find weirdly uplifting, and the pot noodle spoof of aspirational "realise your dreams" nonsense.


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## isvicthere? (Oct 26, 2015)

Another irritating element of the Windows 10 ad: "the future starts now."

The future ALWAYS starts now.


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## trabuquera (Oct 26, 2015)

or to look at it another way, the future starts at one nanosecond FROM NOW. Always.


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## isvicthere? (Oct 26, 2015)

trabuquera said:


> or to look at it another way, the future starts at one nanosecond FROM NOW. Always.



So, the future starts (a very short time) in the future? 

This is going to get philosophical.


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## trabuquera (Oct 26, 2015)

if it's now, it can't be the future, can it? or that's what I always think. before my brain starts hurting too much.


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## Sirena (Oct 26, 2015)

I hate this one.  Stupid boy says something stupid and stupid, simpering teacher goes 'I love it'.....


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## Sirena (Oct 26, 2015)

isvicthere? said:


> Hope I'm not going off topic with a couple of ads I actually like.
> 
> Swimdem, which I find weirdly uplifting, and the pot noodle spoof of aspirational "realise your dreams" nonsense.



And, though I only saw this one once on telly it impressed me a lot


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## isvicthere? (Oct 27, 2015)

trabuquera said:


> if it's now, it can't be the future, can it? or that's what I always think. before my brain starts hurting too much.



No, but everything AFTER now is the future. So, if the future can ever be said to have a "start", then it is always from now.

Or something.....


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## Chick Webb (Oct 27, 2015)

I hate the telly ad (for I don't know what - fast broadband or something) with a big woman being the butt of various stupid jokes.  Yes, of course fat women must be desperate to get their hands on male models, and do "disgusting" things that thin women never do on telly, such as accidentally swallowing a fly.  FFS


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## stavros (Oct 27, 2015)

I really wish Stringer Bell would drop the faux-cockney accent and stop telling me to subscribe to Sky.


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## twentythreedom (Oct 27, 2015)

Peter Andre, Iceland ads 

He's so slimy and smarmy, ewwww gross, he's so dense too. Anyway fuck him. I hope the cunt breaks an ankle on strictly


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## twentythreedom (Oct 27, 2015)

Oh yeah, that "Tofifee" ad with revolting family  Pisses me off every time, that one


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## gosub (Oct 28, 2015)

Is the woman behind the counter in the Mcdonald's ad the first woman in a telly ad with visible tats?


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## Chick Webb (Oct 28, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Peter Andre, Iceland ads
> 
> He's so slimy and smarmy, ewwww gross, he's so dense too. Anyway fuck him. I hope the cunt breaks an ankle on strictly


I think he seems sound, but I am sick of him being on the telly, and him being on Strictly is a travesty because he's a professional dancer.  I hope he doesn't win. 

Anyway, back to ads.  McDonalds boasting that their chips are made of potato and chicken nuggets are made of chicken.  They are supposed to be, motherfuckers!


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## gosub (Oct 28, 2015)

Chick Webb said:


> I think he seems sound, but I am sick of him being on the telly, and him being on Strictly is a travesty because he's a professional dancer.  I hope he doesn't win.
> 
> Anyway, back to ads.  McDonalds boasting that their chips are made of potato and chicken nuggets are made of chicken.  They are supposed to be, motherfuckers!


ah but the chips thing has been a thing for as long as can remember, and the problem was what they were fried in which they don't mention in the ad


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## twentythreedom (Oct 28, 2015)

Chick Webb said:


> I think he seems sound



He's a fucking dick


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## Chick Webb (Oct 29, 2015)

gosub said:


> ah but the chips thing has been a thing for as long as can remember, and the problem was what they were fried in which they don't mention in the ad


I know it's a thing.  I also remember some rumour about their burgers being not made from cow meat but from worm meat from giant worms bred on farms in Brazil!


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## twentythreedom (Nov 12, 2015)

Asda Christmas ads 

Annoying on multiple levels. The tune has a vocal that sounds like "play that sax" before the main riff drops in, sounding like it's played on trumpet not sax, plus the bit at the end where the staff are dancing is completely out of time with the music. And that's just for starters 

Fuck you, Asda


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## gosub (Nov 12, 2015)

the one with the power tools that all run off the same battery, saving you money on battery and chargers,  and then he lends a tool with his battery to a neighbour.....so he can't use any of his tools.   That should be the USP of the advert, I can't lend you any tools coz it means I won't be able to use one of my many many cheap power tools


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## Chick Webb (Nov 12, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Asda Christmas ads
> 
> Annoying on multiple levels. The tune has a vocal that sounds like "play that sax" before the main riff drops in, sounding like it's played on trumpet not sax, plus the bit at the end where the staff are dancing is completely out of time with the music. And that's just for starters
> 
> Fuck you, Asda


Ahh, I've been enjoying that tune.  Now I'll be annoyed that it's not a sax.   And I'll probably look out for the crap dancing too.


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## Chick Webb (Nov 12, 2015)

With my van off the road I'm not workin'
So wha am I gonna doooo!  (to the tune of Sing Hosanna). 

I think it's fine actually, it's just annoying because it sticks in my head all the time.  Lucky I don't need a van or they'd have me!


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## susie12 (Nov 12, 2015)

That woman who keeps sniffing her hair.  Skanky bitch.


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## twentythreedom (Nov 12, 2015)

Chick Webb said:


> Ahh, I've been enjoying that tune.  Now I'll be annoyed that it's not a sax.   And I'll probably look out for the crap dancing too.


That's the spirit  Have a good watch and listen next time and let us know how annoying it is for you


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## twentythreedom (Nov 12, 2015)

The McDonald's one with the punky girl making chicken wraps


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## AverageJoe (Nov 12, 2015)

Pounds to pocket! Pounds to pocket!  

Fuck. Off


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## Chick Webb (Nov 12, 2015)

Oh, obviously all those short term loan company ones are a disgrace.  I was astounded to see in ad where a waitress was told she would get letting less shifts, and the ad suggested a loan (with massive interest to pay back) would be a good idea.  Now there are loads of those ads.


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## StoneRoad (Nov 12, 2015)

two types of annoying ads atm - the "pay day loan" ones closely followed by the shanky xmas ones.
wonder how soon before we'll be getting the summer holiday ones ?


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## 8115 (Nov 13, 2015)

Fuck Mog and fuck Sainsburies.  Mog would never dial 999, she secretly hated her family anyway


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## Espresso (Nov 15, 2015)

The Muppets for Warburton's giant crumpets might be the best ad I've ever seen since "Bring on the trumpets".And that's saying something. 
I love it! 

I know this is a thread for rubbish adverts, but I see no thread for good ones, so here is where it goes. 

"Whatever happened to Stallone" 
Genius.


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## twentythreedom (Nov 15, 2015)

StoneRoad said:


> two types of annoying ads atm - the "pay day loan" ones closely followed by the shanky xmas ones.
> wonder how soon before we'll be getting the summer holiday ones ?


Boxing day


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## sovereignb (Nov 24, 2015)

The KFC Xmas ad #bestfriendchallenge


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## Poot (Dec 7, 2015)

Has no one mentioned the Tesco advert where Ruth Jones' son is a hilarious sex pest yet?

I have to leave the room...


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## DotCommunist (Dec 7, 2015)

Poot said:


> Has no one mentioned the Tesco advert where Ruth Jones' son is a hilarious sex pest yet?
> 
> I have to leave the room...


explain further pls.


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## twentythreedom (Dec 7, 2015)

Poot said:


> Has no one mentioned the Tesco advert where Ruth Jones' son is a hilarious sex pest yet?
> 
> I have to leave the room...


AAAAAARGH yes those adverts are absolutely hideous. Doesn't reflect well on any of the actors involved tbh


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## Poot (Dec 7, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> explain further pls.


You know, the one where teenage boy (?) goes up to unwary female shopper and leches over her. Sorry, I can never do links on this iPad but it's on YouTube if you really want to cringe.


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## Reno (Dec 7, 2015)

I've come to find Idris Elba annoying since he's been appearing in lots of ads. He's trying too hard to be loveable and it is having to opposite effect on me.


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## Gromit (Dec 7, 2015)

Seiko have a new watch advert.

It features Novak Djokovic. 

Just in case you don't recognise that its him they start the advert with a ruddy great big Seiko Novak Djookovic sign over a clip of him hitting a tennis ball at a tournament. Only then do they start the real advert.

He's gone jogging but as you do he's taken a racket and a ball to bounce whilst he runs in a egg and spoon way.
Lady cyclist goes by, he looks at her and she at him... briefly as she scoots past.
He stops, slams the tennis ball against a sea wall and sprints up the street, passes the cyclist and catches the ball, holds it in the air triumphantly with big shit eating grin on his face. She stops and smiles.

Caption: Competing is an obsession. 

Oh so he's just being competitive! No one gets past me on a bike when i'm tennis jogging!


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## twentythreedom (Dec 7, 2015)

Gromit said:


> Seiko have a new watch advert.
> 
> It features Novak Djokovic.
> 
> ...



Yeah I saw that one the other day, it is unfeasibly shit. Djoko must regret doing that one. Although the €100K or whatever he got paid has probably eased his pain and regret a little


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## Gromit (Dec 7, 2015)

Poot said:


> You know, the one where teenage boy (?) goes up to unwary female shopper and leches over her. Sorry, I can never do links on this iPad but it's on YouTube if you really want to cringe.



It's meant to be cringe so that it's oh so funny when his mom embarresses him. 

However I fail to see how he is a sex pest or a letch. Strikes up conversation about food products in an attempt to establish a common interest. Tries to pretend he is more sophisticated than he is. As if no one ever puts in a bit of a false front when they first meet someone they are desperate to impress. 

I agree that it's a hideously annoying ad though.


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## Poot (Dec 7, 2015)

Gromit said:


> It's meant to be cringe so that it's oh so funny when his mom embarresses him.
> 
> However I fail to see how he is a sex pest or a letch. Strikes up conversation about food products in an attempt to establish a common interest. Tries to pretend he is more sophisticated than he is. As if no one ever puts in a bit of a false front when they first meet someone they are desperate to impress.
> 
> I agree that it's a hideously annoying ad though.


It's so lucky you were here to once again point out what women should find lecherous. I really don't know how we cope without you.


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## Gromit (Dec 7, 2015)

Poot said:


> It's so lucky you were here to once again point out what women should find lecherous. I really don't know how we cope without you.


So enlighten me, please explain how he is being lecherous.


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## harpo (Dec 7, 2015)

I was just thinking the same about that Tesco ad. Ben Miller what are you playing at ffs.


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## 8115 (Dec 7, 2015)

I find the one where they're oh so hilariously trying not to let him know they're having a party really awful. Ha ha that boy has some social problems! Ha ha his parents ostracise him!


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## Saul Goodman (Dec 7, 2015)

All of them. A product should be born organically and live or die on its reputation, not on some shite spiel from a has-been actor with orange skin and milky white teeth.


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## trabuquera (Dec 7, 2015)

Gromit - being tailed around the supermarket by some semi-detached-from-reality creep who keeps wanting to talk to you even though you're plainly ignoring them, is not a failed attempt at seduction or a bit of gentle comedy. It's unpleasantly close to real-life stalking and harassment, for many people.


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## DotCommunist (Dec 7, 2015)

I've managed to avoid tesco and Jon Lewis ads so far but the Beeb one with the lonely sprout where Capaldi narates a poem- I just don't get why they CGI'd dot, the Doc and everyone else when they could have got them all in to do the trail/ad


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## Poot (Dec 7, 2015)

trabuquera said:


> Gromit - being tailed around the supermarket by some semi-detached-from-reality creep who keeps wanting to talk to you even though you're plainly ignoring them, is not a failed attempt at seduction or a bit of gentle comedy. It's unpleasantly close to real-life stalking and harassment, for many people.


Thank you! This sums up exactly what I felt about the ad. Maybe as an alternative ending they could have shown her hovering around the checkout, too nervous to go out into the car park alone. Fucking hilarious.


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## Gromit (Dec 7, 2015)

trabuquera said:


> Gromit - being tailed around the supermarket by some semi-detached-from-reality creep who keeps wanting to talk to you even though you're plainly ignoring them, is not a failed attempt at seduction or a bit of gentle comedy. It's unpleasantly close to real-life stalking and harassment, for many people.



Quite frankly he should have gotten the hint after the second attempt. He could be forgiven for thinking that on the first attempt she just thought he was just exclaiming something to the nearest person and not actually trying to start a conversation.

However i still feel sex pest is a bit strong. Seems equal in my eyes to a man calling a woman a slut cause she's openly shown interest in a man.


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## twentythreedom (Dec 7, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> I've managed to avoid tesco and Jon Lewis ads so far but the Beeb one with the lonely sprout where Capaldi narates a poem- I just don't get why they CGI'd dot, the Doc and everyone else when they could have got them all in to do the trail/ad


YES what the fuck is that all about - weak seasonal idents from the beeb. Disneyfication


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## twentythreedom (Dec 22, 2015)

I've just seen "Furniture Village Sale Starts Boxing Day!!" on the telly


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## felixthecat (Dec 24, 2015)

I am currently transfixed by that Thomas Cook one with the dancing kid with the shark fin. It's just great - don't care what's it's advertising!


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## sovereignb (Dec 25, 2015)

The Maltesers one with the two female friends, one of which makes a really annoying noise and it always does my head in


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## scifisam (Sep 7, 2016)

The Mr Green Light! advert with James Corden makes me want to kill him even more than very other time I've seen him does.



sovereignb said:


> The Maltesers one with the two female friends, one of which makes a really annoying noise and it always does my head in



And the friend isn't that annoyed about her Grandmother's pearls being destroyed because her friend - who clearly dislikes Maltesers, since she threw them on the floor - got to snog someone.


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## twentythreedom (Sep 7, 2016)

The Tesco couple and Sunny loans are currently annoying me. 

Yeah and Mr Green Light is a cunt


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## twentythreedom (Sep 7, 2016)

Annoying Adverts 2016

2016


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## Sirena (Sep 7, 2016)

sovereignb said:


> The Maltesers one with the two female friends, one of which makes a really annoying noise and it always does my head in


That's really horrid.... (vomit smiley)


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Sep 7, 2016)

scifisam said:


> The Mr Green Light! advert with James Corden makes me want to kill him even more than very other time I've seen him does.
> 
> 
> 
> And the friend isn't that annoyed about her Grandmother's pearls being destroyed because her friend - who clearly dislikes Maltesers, since she threw them on the floor - got to snog someone.


I think that's a different Malteser ad as it is from last year. They all contain annoying female friends.


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## sovereignb (Sep 9, 2016)

Convinced there is some agenda behind the MoneySupermarket ads...


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