# Eurovision 2019



## ska invita (Feb 23, 2019)

Well I just flicked through
BBC iPlayer - Eurovision Song Contest - 2019: 1. You Decide
and you know what, the tune that won it for the UK is quite good! 

spoilered in case you want to watch the uk contest bit


Spoiler



The young guy who sings it isnt perfect but its kind of honest and unpretentious. Could do well.



Dodged a bullet because every other entry was pretty terrible

Dates for your diary
Eurovision Song Contest 2019 will begin on
Tuesday 14 May
and ends on
Saturday 18 May

UK entry


Spoiler


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## greenfield (Feb 24, 2019)

I'm actually pretty impressed with that!


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## rekil (Feb 24, 2019)

ska invita said:


> UK entry


I thought I detected the dead hand of gary barlow in there but it's been cobbled together by a dozen swedes from something else.


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## ska invita (Feb 24, 2019)

One thing i would say about it is that it gets a bit tired quickly .... by the third listen its a bit boring...just too simplistic really


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## Lord Camomile (Mar 2, 2019)

Alrighty, then.


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## ska invita (Mar 15, 2019)

Interesting article (if you get over some of the journo style)
The ordinary boys: how Ed Sheeran-inspired troubadours swept the charts


> In this moment of international pop utopianism, Britain, naturally, has gone the other way. Our current pop stock-in-trade is a school of male singer-songwriters with exceptional voices and wilfully unexceptional images that entrench an impression of authenticity. They are all white, despite their soulful vocals, which sing of safely secular salvation (they’ll provide it), epic loves (they’ve had and lost them) and struggle (broadly defined). These ordinary boys bolster their yearning with a sound that homogenises sturdy rock heft, EDM dynamism and delicate electronica, with occasional intimations of hip-hop. And hats.


I think applies to the british eurovision entry


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## Indeliblelink (Apr 9, 2019)

Madonna to play at Eurovision
Madonna to perform at Eurovision in Israel with 'political' songs


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## Mrs Miggins (Apr 9, 2019)

Madonna? How utterly bizarre.

I dunno. Things are getting weird with Eurovision and that is a weird statement in itself!
First we let the Aussies in....now fucking Madonna is performing.
Makes me feel like a grumpy old "things aint what they used to be" bastard


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## ska invita (Apr 9, 2019)

Its increasingly normal for traditional big pop acts to want to play it - the audience is huge (looked it up 186 million last year)
Timberlake did it a couple of years back iirc


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## Mrs Miggins (Apr 9, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Its increasingly normal for traditional big pop acts to want to play it - the audience is huge (looked it up 186 million last year)
> Timberlake did it a couple of years back iirc


Did he now? must have been one of the few I've missed.
It just feels so wrong to me! Bloody Madonna. How fucking boring if nothing else.


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## ska invita (Apr 9, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Did he now? must have been one of the few I've missed.
> It just feels so wrong to me! Bloody Madonna. How fucking boring if nothing else.



she works really hard to keep reinvenintg herself to a new audience, always has done - i doubt most kids know who she is - hard to think of anyone with a longer pop career - maybe this move has the whiff of desperation about it?


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## Mrs Miggins (Apr 9, 2019)

ska invita said:


> she works really hard to keep reinvenintg herself to a new audience, always has done - i doubt most kids know who she is - hard to think of anyone with a longer pop career - maybe this move has the whiff of desperation about it?


Dunno - it's just deeply boring that established popstars are going to start taking the thing over.


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## ska invita (Apr 9, 2019)

i think they just sing a number or two during the long vote count bit


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## Mrs Miggins (Apr 9, 2019)

ska invita said:


> i think they just sing a number or two during the long vote count bit


That's one of the best bits though! Seeing what the host nation covers the boring bit with


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## Indeliblelink (May 14, 2019)

Aaaand we're off.


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## peterkro (May 14, 2019)

Popbitch guide if anyones interested:

https://popbitch.com/Gr56ann17y/uploads/2019/05/Popbitch-Guide-To-Eurovision-2019.pdf


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## Indeliblelink (May 14, 2019)

All pretty boring so far.


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## The39thStep (May 14, 2019)

Just walked into a local Portuguese bar and it's on the TV . Slovenia at the mo, bland .


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## isvicthere? (May 14, 2019)

You know you're old when you can remember established British stars doing Eurovision.


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## The39thStep (May 14, 2019)

Czech's . Brave choice of sweaters .


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## The39thStep (May 14, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> You know you're old when you can remember established British stars doing Eurovision.


Sandy Shaw


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## rekil (May 14, 2019)

I went through them all a couple of weeks ago and Poland is the only one I like. Worst year ever with people likely to get blownup/shotintheface a few miles away.


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## ska invita (May 14, 2019)

#hun


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## ska invita (May 14, 2019)

copliker said:


> I went through them all a couple of weeks ago and Poland is the only one I like. Worst year ever with people likely to get blownup/shotintheface a few miles away.


Everything appauling so far... Seems fitting


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## tommers (May 14, 2019)

Iceland


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## ska invita (May 14, 2019)

Iceland did the euro-keychange lol


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## rekil (May 14, 2019)

Portugal gets bonkers points.


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## tommers (May 14, 2019)

I like his beard cover.


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## The39thStep (May 14, 2019)

copliker said:


> Portugal gets bonkers points.


The Portuguese in the bar just looked away when that came in. Embarrassing


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## Indeliblelink (May 14, 2019)

Liking San Marino


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## ska invita (May 14, 2019)

Indeliblelink said:


> Liking San Marino


Na na na

Catchy tbf


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## rekil (May 14, 2019)

Belgium written by same bloke who did their 2017 one but nowhere as good.


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## ska invita (May 14, 2019)

My family have changed the channel 
I thought we were bonding


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## Indeliblelink (May 14, 2019)

Where's it gone?


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## pogofish (May 15, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> First we let the Aussies in....



Australia are only in until 2023 under the current agreement and under a host of special conditions/limitations - the main one is that if they actually win it, they forgo the "right" to host the next Eurovision in Australia and must use a Region-1 country instead.  

Actually it was one of the German regional broadcasters who let them-in by agreeing to extend facilities for hosting and technical resources in (IIRC) Hamburg if they were to win it .  The BBC only fell in-line and offered their support/facilities after being embarrassed into it by the Germans.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Christ, I forgot it's Scott Mills _and_ Rylan.

I might boycott after all...


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Euro-street-tough


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Sooooo... no-one else is watching?


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> Sooooo... no-one else is watching?


Yes


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Yes


Sooooo... yes, no-one else is watching, or yes, you are watching


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## weltweit (May 16, 2019)

I heard the UK entry on Graham Norton some time, Graham was saying what a great voice he had, I was like meh ..


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Moombahton Switzerland one of the strongest so far
Generally really blandly shit though


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Generally really blandly shit though


Yeah, I've been mildly bored so far.

Tapping along to the beat, but bored.

Kinda liked Latvia's, though.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Doesn't need the fire, but I'm liking the gothic thing.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Oh, no, not now with the dancey men. They've brought the tone right down


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> Yeah, I've been mildly bored so far.
> 
> Tapping along to the beat, but bored.
> 
> Kinda liked Latvia's, though.


Only moments so far for me have been Na Na Na song and Iceland's Hate Will Prevail going into a cheesy euro keychange. I'd like to look away but I can't stop myself


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## rekil (May 16, 2019)

The Dutch one is the massive favourite for some reason. It's a dreary Sia   type thing. Norway at least has a eurodance stomper with a novelty throat singing bit.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Only moments so far for me have been Na Na Na song and Iceland's Hate Will Prevail going into a cheesy euro keychange. I'd like to look away but I can't stop myself


I missed the first semi.

Been saying it for years, but everything's got far too safe and/or competent 

They're not mad, or bad, they're just "yeah, ok". If that's what I wanted I'd watch fucking X Factor or something.


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> I missed the first semi.
> 
> Been saying it for years, but everything's got far too safe and/or competent
> 
> They're not mad, or bad, they're just "yeah, ok". If that's what I wanted I'd watch fucking X Factor or something.


Aye, and that's why I particularly liked the semis, the odd gem slipped through.

I've said it before but the difference between pop charts, X factor and Eurovision has all got far too close.

Sweden seemed to go down well in the room, as they say


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> I missed the first semi.
> 
> Been saying it for years, but everything's got far too safe and/or competent
> 
> They're not mad, or bad, they're just "yeah, ok". If that's what I wanted I'd watch fucking X Factor or something.



It's sad isn't it? I've been a fan of this all my life and it is indeed getting more and more bland. It all went wrong for me when everyone was allowed to sing in English rather than their own language 

I don't usually do the semis and have just tuned in to Denmark - sweet  but boring - and now Sweden - just dull.

The days of Lordi seem like a distant memory...


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> The days of Lordi seem like a distant memory...


Iceland did their best on Tuesday tbf...and got through too


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

God this Austrian woman is dreadful but not in a good way


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Iceland did their best on Tuesday tbf...and got through too


Missed it! One to look out for on Saturday.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Aye, and that's why I particularly liked the semis, the odd gem slipped through.





Mrs Miggins said:


> I don't usually do the semis and have just tuned in to Denmark - sweet  but boring - and now Sweden - just dull.


Aye, semis were the last hope for something interesting.

Maybe just have to recalibrate my watching; I still like the fact that so many people enjoy it and it's a reet big mooooosive party.

It's just, y'know, it's not about the _music _anymore


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

I'm surprised by how many people are sitting and/or lying down for these; makes it tougher to sing.


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Croatia has brought a smile


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Another in the "place the high note right on the edge of the singer's range" category.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

For a long time I wanted a massive set of wings like that.

Fuck it, I still do.

Black though, because I'm brooding


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

This is a bit more like it.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Fucking hell, the prize for winning X Factor in Malta is to perform at Eurovision?!


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> Aye, semis were the last hope for something interesting.
> 
> Maybe just have to recalibrate my watching; I still like the fact that so many people enjoy it and it's a reet big mooooosive party.
> 
> It's just, y'know, it's not about the _music _anymore


Oh I love it. I love the concept of it and I doubt I will ever stop watching. It's just brilliant and always has been.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Feels like 'sets' are a thing this year.


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## rekil (May 16, 2019)

Reggaeton quota exceeded.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

Ooh I like Malta


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Aw, I kinda want him to get through just because he's been a backing singer twice.

This isn't awful.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

Oh god no. Too twittery.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

He's got a nice smile though.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Dayum, dude just not holding back on SF1  Fair play


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Fucking hell, small mercies, but I'll take it.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

Yep - Norway's a 10 from me


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## tommers (May 16, 2019)

winners


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Netherlands have a fair track record at "just actually decent songs".

Not entirely sure about this one, mind... Might grow on me.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

Have they ever won though?


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

As a Brit I feel very comfortable saying that Eurovision is not about the winning!


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

Of course of course


(Yeah right)


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

It's Darius!


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Assassin robots! Somebody do something!


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)




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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

I kinda like it though...


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

At least they found something to do with the old Gladiators logo.


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> As a Brit I feel very comfortable saying that Eurovision is not about the winning!


Based on the competition so far I think uk has a good chance ​


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Just remembered the scoring Hello Europe, Riga Calling! bit is still entertaining


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

Oh god, I find that bit excruciating. You always get the berks trying to do a little skit and the hosts have to politely, via satellite delay, tell them "we only want the numbers you arse, get the fuck on with it".


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Just remembered the scoring Hello Europe, Riga Calling! bit is still entertaining


This is what's so great about it. All these countries all getting together for such a joyous thing! I do love it.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

My fucking internet connection has gone down. It had better not do this on Saturday.


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)

I'll be honest, I've flicked over to a docusoap about EasyJet.

Christ, we're looking at our guys tattoos??


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> Oh god, I find that bit excruciating*. You always get the berks* trying to do a little skit and the hosts have to politely, via satellite delay, tell them "we only want the numbers you arse, get the fuck on with it".


....thank god!


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## Lord Camomile (May 16, 2019)




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## mx wcfc (May 16, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Oh I love it. I love the concept of it and I doubt I will ever stop watching. It's just brilliant and always has been.


"I'm sorry, I can no longer marry you"


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## ska invita (May 16, 2019)

Reggaeton two went thru


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## Mrs Miggins (May 16, 2019)

mx wcfc said:


> "I'm sorry, I can no longer marry you"


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## Dovydaitis (May 16, 2019)

Lithuania was robbed!


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## wtfftw (May 17, 2019)

I was happy for Azerbaijan, Malta and Norway (or Sweden? With indigenous not yodelling) going through from last night.

I actually think it's a pretty strong Eurovision year. So there. 
I'm liking the way bondage fashion has hit Europe.


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## wtfftw (May 17, 2019)

I'm sure I heard Australia if they win have to host in Europe. Now I want them to win and make us host.


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## hash tag (May 17, 2019)

Nil points for England. Brexit, no one likes us, they all hate us and laugh at us. 
Fortunately, I'm working tomorrow night.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 17, 2019)

Catching up on the first semi. Very disappointed that Portugal didn't make it.

But Iceland - oh my


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## Lord Camomile (May 17, 2019)

hash tag said:


> England


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## MrCurry (May 18, 2019)

I’ve watched the two semifinals during the week and awaiting the big final tonight with excitement! Yeah, it’s not trendy to be a Eurovision fan but who cares?

I’m struggling to pick a favourite, but my wife seems strangely affected by the San Marino guy.  She’s taken to throwing things at the TV when the bald guy in the Norwegian act starts yodelling (or is it called “hoiking”?)

Sweden will probably win it as usual.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 18, 2019)

It is TOTALLY trendy to be a Eurovisin fan!


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## MrCurry (May 18, 2019)

That’s a relief. Seems we are safe in this thread and the Eurovision haters will never find us here 

I actually like Moldova’s effort and it seemed like a shame they didn’t qualify. Australia seem to be just trying to test how much “bonkers” they can get away with and still be allowed back the next year and Belarus appear to have transported Britney Spears in a time machine from 2009.

I’ve heard that Italy is one of the favourites, but honestly can’t see why. It’s like a parody.


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## Mrs Miggins (May 18, 2019)

I actually like our entry for the first time in years but we will never win.


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## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Norway or Iceland I hope, but it will probably be Sweden or the Dutch. 

We won't win (needless to say).


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## Mrs Miggins (May 18, 2019)

Yeah Norway and Iceland are my favourites too which is usually the kiss of death


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## Mrs Miggins (May 18, 2019)

I caught Ireland's entry last night and it was so unbelievably awful I thought they really were doing a My Lovely Horse.


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## MrCurry (May 18, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> I caught Ireland's entry last night and it was so unbelievably awful I thought they really were doing a My Lovely Horse.



I hope it was just nerves which made her sing it so badly in the semi, and that she conquers them and gives a better performance tonight. I suspect that is her singing style though and she’s been chosen mainly for looks.


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## Pickman's model (May 18, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> I actually like our entry for the first time in years but we will never win.


That is in itself a victory


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## Lord Camomile (May 18, 2019)

MrCurry said:


> I hope it was just nerves which made her sing it so badly in the semi, and that she conquers them and gives a better performance tonight.


Didn't make it to tonight


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## MrCurry (May 18, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> Didn't make it to tonight



Ah you’re right of course. I should've noticed that!


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## Mrs Miggins (May 18, 2019)

MrCurry said:


> I hope it was just nerves which made her sing it so badly in the semi, and that she conquers them and gives a better performance tonight. I suspect that is her singing style though and she’s been chosen mainly for looks.


She spent half the performance with her back to the audience and the rest sitting behind a bench. It was terrible


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## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

I've not seen any, apart from Poland's entry as, apparently, they like Depeche Mode!
We have wine,  crisps and a small child watching it for the first time! Great!!


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## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

But, is it going to be bigger than us?


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## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

Not very impressed watching the semi's. Rather starkly exposed the fact that a lot of modern pop isn't designed or built with live performance in mind. Downloaded the entries and was a bit surprised that it's not actually as bad a year as I'd thought. Rather a lot of songs which work OK as a listening experience but which didn't come over very well live. Interesting to see if any of them up their game tonight.


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## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

What I want to know is, when the voting is underway it is apparent, but why do they all hate us?


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## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> I caught Ireland's entry last night and it was so unbelievably awful I thought they really were doing a My Lovely Horse.




My Lovely Horse would have been absolutely brilliant compared with the crap Ireland sang. Absolute rubbish.


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## ska invita (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> What I want to know is, when the voting is underway it is apparent, but why do they all hate us?


Its jsut not true - UK did well a couple of years back - 110 points or so
I predict at least that many points this year


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## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Wont be watching it. 
I've not watched it in years.
Heading out for a curry instead 
And I can guarantee ye that not one public house will be showing the eurovision where I am.


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## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

ska invita said:


> Its jsut not true - UK did well a couple of years back - 110 points or so
> I predict at least that many points this year


Last time I watched I am pretty sure we ended up with null points  

And who chooses who represents us in the voting, because I have usually neve heard of them!!


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## ska invita (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> Last time I watched I am pretty sure we ended up with null points
> 
> And who chooses who represents us in the voting, because I have usually neve heard of them!!


There's a public vote of about 6 acts to choose from this year.
You're not watching enough Eurovision


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## moomoo (May 18, 2019)

What time does it start?


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## Lord Camomile (May 18, 2019)

moomoo said:


> What time does it start?


8pm.


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## moomoo (May 18, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> 8pm.



Ta.


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## rekil (May 18, 2019)

Norway should win but won't. Azerbaijan is alright but I'm sure it's nicked from somewhere. Greek lady sounds like Vic Reeves doing Amy Winehouse. Italy is a proper modern tune but it's in forrin so he's wasting his time and ours. Russia is rubbish but will be top 3ish.


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## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

I am preparing myself for Eurovision by listening to Jimi Hendrix All Along The Watchtower.. 

Hopefully that will be a good preparation.


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## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

I'm here!


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## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

OK, here we go!


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## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> I am preparing myself for Eurovision by listening to Jimi Hendrix All Along The Watchtower..
> 
> Hopefully that will be a good preparation.



There must be some kind of a way out of here!


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## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

wtfftw said:


> I'm here!


Me too!!


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## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Simple point: when did Israel migrate to Europe? UKIP will be apoplectic! Australia have no fear of winning.


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

OK, I'm sat on a sofa (a rare occasion as I don't have one at home) with a big tv in front of me, so it's on! there's a small amount of tequila too.
this better be entertaining.


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## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

No betting this year as Paddys have locked my account due to my lack of passport, so I didn't do my usual hungover watchthrough meaning it's all new to me.


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## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Malta  should get points for the clingfilm sleeves


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## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> Simple point: when did Israel migrate to Europe? UKIP will be apoplectic! Australia have no fear of winning.


Broadcasting Union.


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## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Bit bored of Malta's now. The small one wants more dancing.


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## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Where's red rose these days?


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## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> Malta  should get points for the clingfilm sleeves



Should've put some fake tats underneath


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Malta: anaemic


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Albanian singer has lovely shiny hair


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## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

bit of a dirg though


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

nice healthy teeth tho


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## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> nice healthy teeth tho


You sound as if you are assessing an animal .. hmm good teeth


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Is that a Czech accent?


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> You sound as if you are assessing an animal .. hmm good teeth


i can't really speak about the music. not my cup of tequila


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## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

He's got very white teeth


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## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

well pop.


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## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> Is that a Czech accent?





Franz Kafka? Don't think so!


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## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

a czech aha


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> a czech aha


nowhere near as good or sexy though


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## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

This one did porn apparently


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## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

its no nina hagen is it ?


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## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Deutschland unter alles!


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## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

German's entry was his 250 to 1 at Ladbrokes. It's "okay" according to the small one.


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Nein


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## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Just catching up with the thread - liked Malta a lot, Albania was a dirge, Czech Republic was irritatingly bouncy, and Germany a bit *yawn*


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## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

I've been singing Lena's Satellite to myself all day. Don't think this will make the list...


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## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

I always feel sorry for all these people feeling they have to sing in English.


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## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

One-man boy band. Eastlife?


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## Epona (May 18, 2019)

And I feel as if this one is trying too hard


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## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Russia: singing to himself in the mirror!


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## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

was waiting for russian one to start coming up. I think i am going to be disappointed


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## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

BORING!! the small one is looking away as he wants a "stomper" and this is not a stomper!!


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## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

I'm good for double glazing, thanks.


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## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Thought after flouncing last year they'd fucked off for good.


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## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

nice green flash ivan


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## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

want some banging eurotrance soon please. less of the dirges


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## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> I'm good for double glazing, thanks.



"St Petersburg Glass Has the Class!"


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I've been singing Lena's Satellite to myself all day. Don't think this will make the list...


Tune! I still listen to that one.

Am on Germany at the mo. No thanks. I'll forward ones I've seen to catch up.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> I always feel sorry for all these people feeling they have to sing in English.



Except France!

Because I'm old I can remember that they made a Eurovision rule after Abba's success in Brighton, 1974, singing "Waterloo" in English. From 1975 countries had to sing in their own language. Can't remember when this was dropped, but it now seems long gone...


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Denmark chuck a few languages in iirc


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Reverse Spinal Tap goings on with the stage furniture


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

pretty little song but kinda nothing really


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

wtfftw said:


> Tune! I still listen to that one.
> 
> Am on Germany at the mo. No thanks. I'll forward ones I've seen to catch up.


how have you seen them before?


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

This is so wonderfully chirpy that I am not sure whether I want to sway in time to it or vomit - love it


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Just turned this on.
Denmark will probably win with that.

One way or the other. 
Very catchy and great for ads. Lol..


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

fucking vin diesel


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

On a practical issue, presumably they have quite a few stages .. 

To be able to go from one to the next so quickly ..

I am assuming it is life?


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Norton is on top form tonight


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Epona said:


> This is so wonderfully chirpy that I am not sure whether I want to sway in time to it or vomit - love it




Yup. Total instant singalong


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> how have you seen them before?


I watch the semi finals. (Bbc4 on Tues and Thurs).


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

This is the best so far. Though he does look like a sex case


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

I'd have liked them to try singing 'na na na' instead of just saying it.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

San Marino, what did this beat to get through!!! But sadly it's my favourite so far


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

wtfftw said:


> I watch the semi finals. (Bbc4 on Tues and Thurs).


ah, i admire your dedication/masochism. once is enough for me with these songs. didn't realise they had semis - thought everyone had a go.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

I'm watching from Spain without the sarcastic UK commentary. It's weird.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> ah, i admire your dedication/masochism. once is enough for me with these songs.


Eurovision Week is one of my annual highlights.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Well, I think we know who Britain will be voting for tonite


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

i went to a talk the other night about the politics of eurovision- the verdict was that Wogan is responsible for brexit. probably another thread


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Apart from ABBA, who went on from EuroVision to become a famous musician?


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

cliff * living dead* richard was already a pop sensation by eurovision


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> Apart from ABBA, who went on from EuroVision to become a famous musician?



I'm so old I can remember when ALREADY ESTABLISHED artists did Eurovision.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> Apart from ABBA, who went on from EuroVision to become a famous musician?


bucks fizz and celine dion


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan good teeth on Macedonia


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> Apart from ABBA, who went on from EuroVision to become a famous musician?



bucks fizz


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

I think this may do well but it's not for me.


----------



## paulhackett (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> Apart from ABBA, who went on from EuroVision to become a famous musician?


Celine Dion


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> Orang Utan good teeth on Macedonia



Perhaps not politically if they had to settle for "North Macedonia"


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I think this may do well but it's not for me.



Same. Proper power ballad.


----------



## ffsear (May 18, 2019)

I hate eurovision,  but my mrs loves its and wants to watch it...  So may as well have a few bets... Win/Win situation...


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Militant feminism from Germany in the green room!


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Disappointing Jeff Goldblum


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Sir terry


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Bob Mortimer's tweets on this are gold


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

girl power


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

ffsear said:


> I hate eurovision,  but my mrs loves its and wants to watch it...  So may as well have a few bets... Win/Win situation...
> 
> View attachment 171431


Mr. QofG's has bet on San Marino and Italy.....so far!


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Swedish bloke has a lovely voice!


----------



## ffsear (May 18, 2019)

Sneaky feminism card played by the Germans there... Sneaky £5 for me at 200/1


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

This is very disappointing so far - loads of shite ballads and no outrageous drag queen aesthetics, which was what I was expecting.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Epona said:


> Swedish bloke has a lovely voice!


Yeah not my thing at all but the kind of thing you hear every hour on Heart FM.

I think this deserves to do well.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

ginger_syn said:


> Sir terry









Long may he be remembered!


----------



## sparkybird (May 18, 2019)

His trousers look well dodgy though..
ETA..not sir Terry! The Swedish bloke
ETA 2 although on closer inspection...


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

"Next" says the small one


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Terry's Fat Cock - think I saw them at the Duchess Of York supporting The Senseless Things in 1989


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Sweden: first one I've liked, so it has no chance. 11/1.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

sparkybird said:


> His trousers look well dodgy though..


Why did you point that out.....I can't unsee it now!!!


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Bit bland so far.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Yep, I liked Sweden


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

I am feeling as though these 2 should probably get a room, starting to wonder whether they will start doing it on stage - very intense...


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

why does reminde me of randall and hopkirk ?


----------



## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

Rather like Slovenia's song. (And it's in Slovenish so I've no idea what cobblers she's singing). They don't have a lot of charisma though.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

they look like cult members


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Big up to Slovenia for singing in their own lingo


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Pretty sure these two are aliens.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

This is.....disturbing. and the beginning, as Mr.QofG's pointed out,s a bit like the start of "This is not America"


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> why does reminde me of randall and hopkirk ?



(deceased)


----------



## paulhackett (May 18, 2019)

May as well be singing this in a cupboard


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Best song so far for me. But yes. Slightly disturbing


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Incest legal in Slovenia?


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Cyprus: those trousers, tight or what?


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

some lovely teeth tonight


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

saucy


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Something tells me this'll do alright.


----------



## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

Think I'd like this better if I couldn't see her.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Can't help but feel the backing guys are dressed even more ridiculously than she is


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Didn't John Shuttleworth try to get Norway to accept  Pigeons in Flight as their entry some years back?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

I'm not sure about the song because I spent most of it wondering if she was wearing pants


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I'm not sure about the song because I spent most of it wondering if she was wearing pants



I started to think she might be wearing one of those 70s joke shop fake rubber bottoms.


----------



## sparkybird (May 18, 2019)

Looks like a chandelier.. just needs a strategically placed lightbulb


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

NO MORE BALLADIRGES PLEASE


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

looked like a nappy to me but i wasnt that close to the telly


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I'm not sure about the song because I spent most of it wondering if she was wearing pants



If not that was some serious vajazzling


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Netherlands: dismal dirge. Why is this the runaway favourite?


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Jesus, bookies' favourite?  Makes me glad about Brexit.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

BORING!! I need some wine.


----------



## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

Na Na Na is starting to grow on me.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

nah


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

I'm a bottle in and this is still fucking boring old shit. How can the Icelandic sex troupe not win?


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

QueenOfGoths said:


> BORING!! I need some wine.



Finished my wine. Reaching for the beer.


----------



## moomoo (May 18, 2019)

I’ve got a cuppa tea. I’ve eaten my two biscuits. It’s all a bit dull isn’t it?


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Why is every live sporting or competition event scheduled for our convenience in the UK?
Its already gone 11pm in Israel and it's only just got going. 

Will we sulk as a nation if it's on a bit earlier for the rest of Europe ?


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

greek bjork


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

I think I've been in a few Open Air Shakespeare production that look like this!


----------



## rekil (May 18, 2019)

copliker said:


> Greek lady sounds like Vic Reeves doing Amy Winehouse.


I'm changing this unfunny snark to 'sounds like Joan Armatrading.'


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

This lot look like extras from a Hammer Horror film.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

How did they get those swords past security?


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

15th song and still only one not in English!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Piss-stained wedding dresses. Why did they never take off?


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Greece was entertaining, there seemed to be animal noises involved, a bit eccentric, I liked it


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

its vin diesel for me so far


----------



## rekil (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I'm a bottle in and this is still fucking boring old shit. How can the Icelandic sex troupe not win?


After all their tryhardness, they have to do something _shocking_ and _political_ but they won't.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Freddie Mercury for Israel


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

happy shopper borat


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> Freddie Mercury for Israel


----------



## rekil (May 18, 2019)

All rise for Norway.


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2019)

Worst bohemian rhapsody video tribute ever!


----------



## Poot (May 18, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> its vin diesel for me so far


As soon as he reached the chorus my daughter and I both started singing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' at the same time.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

David Gest's looking surprisingly well.


----------



## 74drew (May 18, 2019)

I see the Israeli's are deliberately trying to throw their entry.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Israel: sounds like a song rejected from the Rocky Horror Show.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

SImpering dickweed


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

jesues christ. tears


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Well you ain't someone to me sorry ..


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

barf


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

My fave so far has been Denmark. It was silly and charming.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> Israel: sounds like a song rejected from the Rocky Horror Show.


 
its remided me of r kellys trapped in the closet. thats not good


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Norway to win for not being a fucking ballad. The bald chap has a funny voice too. Winner.


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2019)

This lot look like they have come to fight Superman.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

singing in sami. multi talented vin


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Norway is fucking awesome


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Shades of Superman II villians too.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Is it me, or have we thrown in the towel with trying to win Eurovision? 

I'm sure there used to be more fuss around our entry. Always turned up on Norton,  plus wasn't there a whole programme dedicated to it - " A Song for Europe"?

All this has passed me by - I haven't even heard our song


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Best one so far


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Best one so far.


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Fucking yes.


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Norway is the favourite so far for me


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Norway are great...love the Sami


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

General Zod FTW


----------



## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

Shame it wasn't in Norwegian - the lyrics are VERY silly.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> Norway to win for not being a fucking ballad. The bald chap has a funny voice too. Winner.



I don't think  he's a real member of the bald community


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Norway: hi energy!


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> Best one so far





billy_bob said:


> Best one so far.



That settles it then.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> I don't think  he's a real member of the bald community


Cultural appropriation eh?


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

UK ...
Tough following Norway.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

stewart lee has let himself go


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

That's him!


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Oh dear UK


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

UK: time was when I knew "our" song in advance. Not for over 30 years now though!


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Uk chap seems quite sweet, hope he does well.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Darn it. 
I swore I wouldnt watch the eurovision ... 
Sucked in


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Loved Norway - proper pop music and some quirkiness thrown in


----------



## moomoo (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> Oh dear UK



It’s a nice enough tune but so dull.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

it started not being bigger than much really :-/


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

the kids have told me this is about god or jesus or soemthing


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Generic friendship song from film that copied latest Pixar cartoon.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> Norway: hi energy!



Maybe next year we could have Hazell Dean with sone real Hi NRG


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

At least he can sing.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Come back Daz Sampson- all is forgiven


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> Maybe next year we could have Hazell Dean with sone real Hi NRG



brenda dean of SOGAT doing hi Nrg - i would go for that


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Did well. Won't make any difference but he did well.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Wonder if Bobby Gillespie is spewing into his buckfast about now


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> brenda dean of SOGAT doing hi Nrg - i would go for that



Only if she has Len McCluskey on keyboards


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> Wonder if Bobby Gillespie is spewing into his buckfast about now



Just what is it that he wants to do?


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Why was San Marino bloke standing behind an ironing board?


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> Wonder if Bobby Gillespie is spewing into his buckfast about now



Same as every day


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

this looks more like it


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

tthumping


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Something about 'anti-capitalist' on the Spanish commentary.


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Like Iceland already, bring it on...


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

we have a winner


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

thats the winner right there


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> Just what is it that he wants to do?


Shoot himself in the foot by trying to demonstrate his wokeness by calling madonna a prostitute, but actually pissing everyone off?


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

This is the stuff!


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2019)

Two singers enter one singer leaves


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Iceland: I wanna be anarchy in the Rejkavik!


----------



## Poot (May 18, 2019)

Blimey. Confident entry from Iceland there.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

This is more like it !!


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Probably ought to win, but Norway will. The Nordic countries are wiping the floor with the rest. Can we join them?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

"That cannot be them singing!!" says the small one at the Icelandic entry "I think I've seen Martin L. Gore wearing that" says Mr. QofG's


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Iceland: only second song not in English. Kudos it's in a language with 300 000 speakers worldwide!


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

I'm eating pork scratchings watching Iceland.

It seems right


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Bloody superb


----------



## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

meh. Duran Duran outtake.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

We should ge more like Iceland. Even if Bowie was to be resurrected and write the best song of his career and enter we'd come nowhere cos of Brexit and Iraq etc

We may as well do something bizarre, have a bit of fun. Get Napalm Death to represent us or something


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Back down to earth with a bump.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Boring bloke with guitar. NEXT.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Mad Max meets pop … Yay Iceland


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Lurdan said:


> meh. Duran Duran outtake.



Streets ahead of Duran  Duran..

Just about the only professional sounding outfit on so far.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Estonia. 
Just no


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Is it just me, or was it better in the Cold War when the "communist" countries didn't enter?


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

A continent yawns.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

gets better


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Chorus is shouty. Verse is quite nice.


----------



## moomoo (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> Estonia.
> Just no



I like him. He’s very pretty.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

It appears the Emperor from Star Wars is trying to kill him. Quite rightly.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Ok, that's a bit weird. How did he get that guitar?


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Ok Iceland is my new fav


----------



## moomoo (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> Ok, that's a bit weird. How did he get that guitar?



Magic?


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Bit weird. Country then Deviant Art then reappearing guitar


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Belarus
Just yes


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

ginger_syn said:


> Ok Iceland is my new fav


I agree, Iceland for the win ..


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Belarus: Destiny's actual child!


----------



## sparkybird (May 18, 2019)

I've thrown in the towel such a BORING Eurovision. Night night x


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

better than i expected. kids cannot believe her age


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Some impressive boinging from the dancers there.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

moomoo said:


> Magic?


He didn't have it, then he did. Is this not live or something?


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Belarus was just terrible


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

I think the dentist na na na bloke's been lending this one some props.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Ooh this guy's fucking hot. Err, I mean, nice teeth!


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

I hope the robots make this more interesting somehow. Could they remove a limb?


----------



## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

The chorus of this really reminds me of something else. ??? hmmm


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Azerbaijan is a touch sissor sisters, catchy though


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

This will do well I think. Another Heart FM style song. I quite like it actually.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Lurdan said:


> The chorus of this really reminds me of something else. ??? hmmm


Me too!!


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

lolololol


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

What the fuck was that. Did he just levitate?


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> Come back Daz Sampson- all is forgiven


Never.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Me too!!



Me three. Something maybe very late 80s/very early 90s. Really annoying me now.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Belarus was just terrible


Compared with?

I mean there isnt much on that has been great. 
Iceland Norway and Denmark only so far in my book. 
That last one with the laser pen thing on his heart? Lucky there are no cats around


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

ah this is more like the Eurovision I know


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Belarus somewhat blotted their copybook before the final with their presenter's homophobic BS, so the performance was practically irrelevant. It's Eurovision FFS


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Me too!!



Like an uptempo Talk Talk


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Belarus somewhat blotted their copybook before the final with their presenter's homophobic BS, so the performance was practically irrelevant. It's Eurovision FFS


i missed that - what did they say?


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

If "woke twitter" had a Eurovision entry...


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> He didn't have it, then he did. Is this not live or something?


He had it at the start then put it in his invisible bag until he needed it again.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

I see Legolas has moved to France...


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Not a patch on Iceland or Norway but France still a load better than the dull ballads imo.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Terrible song, sorry France.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> i missed that - what did they say?



Something about moving the contest to Brunei so he wouldn't have to see gays kissing in the crowd


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Loved the French performance - more in the spirit of Eurovision than all those shitty ballads


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Belarus somewhat blotted their copybook before the final with their presenter's homophobic BS, so the performance was practically irrelevant. It's Eurovision FFS





Orang Utan said:


> i missed that - what did they say?



I missed it too.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Something about moving the contest to Brunei so he wouldn't have to see gays kissing in the crowd


ugh


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

France meh, nice hair though


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

That was fucking awful. Cosplay Danaerys


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

I've had Azerbaijan in my head since Thurs. Shut up about it!


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Terrible song, sorry France.


ace dancing though


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Something about moving the contest to Brunei so he wouldn't have to see gays kissing in the crowd


Oh dear. And this was the presenter?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Mr. QofG's has 75p riding on Italy. So we're voting for it!


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Again, Italy kudos for not doing a ballad. It's just not particularly catchy. Or good.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

I've just had an IEM as Frank Skinner calls it (idiotic eureka moment).
The whole thing is merely a tourism advert for the host country 

Although if Australia win I heard they wont be able to host the ceremony would have to start at 6am local time or something.

No one could handle this at 6am


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Apparently the Italian one is a favourite? WTF? Maybe Brexit is a good idea after all


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

I liked the clapping


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Serbia: I know it's wrong of me but it's hard not to assume she's a white nationalist.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> I've just had an IEM as Frank Skinner calls it (idiotic eureka moment).
> The whole thing is merely a tourism advert for the host country


Have to say the fact that it is in Israel initially put me off watching this, but just two tequila shots destroyed my scruples


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Teensy bit of air guitar there....


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Nice bracelets but dull song


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Serbia is very Eurovision ballad.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Switzerland didn't get the memo about double denim (precum vid, not actual performance)


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

He lost the rest of his boy band.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

is this song about pegging? 'she got me dirty inside'


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Is he singing 'she got me dirty dancing?' If so that dancing's really not dirty enough.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Yep CH could do well


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Liked Switzerland. Good pop song.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Ok, but you're so far away from Europe Australia, does this really count?


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Kate Bush on poppers


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Can't really get the effect of the poles cos of the big bloody world


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Didn't they do this in"Mad Max"?


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Australia: bargain basement Kate Bush.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> Can't really get the effect of the poles cos of the big bloody world


Ooh now you can


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

I think I'd prefer to hear Brian Cox singing over that backdrop tbf. Or Stephen Hawking.


----------



## Lurdan (May 18, 2019)

Now THAT'S Eurovision.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

i hope something goes terribly wrong


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

This is quite entertaining at least


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Making me feel a bit travel sick.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

damn it didn't


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

I could have done without the yodelling but at least that was proper Eurovision.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Commentators here now very excited.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Awful, awful song Australia


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Bonkers


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Did he say this is the last one?


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Come on. Big finish Spain. Don't let us down.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

I hope this song is about extraordinary rendition


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Australian singer is like the statue of Liberty.
Crap song.
Great voice. 
I half expected her to shoot up on a rocket.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Yes 26 songs


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> Ok, but you're so far away from Europe Australia, does this really count?



Imagine if it wins: "Euro"vision staged in the Middle East, won by somewhere so far from Europe you have to go into Outer Space to get farther away from Europe.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Oh, unfortunate staging juxtaposition for Spain


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Coming live from Canvey Island


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> Yes 26 songs


It goes quicker when I'm not trying to fill in a score sheet.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Cheesy song. Fake drumming and a Wicker Man. It's good.


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Sure I heard this on holiday in 2003.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

This is the Spanish Blue Peter set right?


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

where was the irish entry this year?


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Conspiracy theory: there are few song not in English, but they've all been in the second half. 

_*strokes beard*_


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Aww. Wonder what San Marino guy thinks of this.


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> where was the irish entry this year?


Didn't get through the semis.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

The pods and the bright colours remind me of Naked Attraction


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

I'm tapping my foot. Probably had enough to drink then.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

I quite like this. But I am sightly drunk.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> where was the irish entry this year?



Didnt get to the final. 
It was rubbish in fairness


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

tommers said:


> Didn't get through the semis.


aw man that is shit, why can't they just do an alldayer so we can hear them all?


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Didnt get to the final.
> It was rubbish in fairness


Enya for 2020


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

We've all had a drink. L'chaim indeed.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> This is the Spanish Blue Peter set right?


Rod, Jane and freddy.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> aw man that is shit, why can't they just do an alldayer so we can hear them all?


Watch the semis. Eurovision Week ftw.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

tommers said:


> Didn't get through the semis.


For second year running iirc


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> I'm tapping my foot. Probably had enough to drink then.





QueenOfGoths said:


> I quite like this. But I am sightly drunk.



Wish I could get drunk...


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

wtfftw said:


> Watch the semis. Eurovision Week ftw.


but then i'd have to watch some performances twice. I don't think I could manage that.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Kind of liked Spain.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Kind of liked Spain.


Are you sure you haven't had a drink .


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Right. My top three are Iceland, Azerbaijan and Malta. Or Norway. Top 4. Unless the recap reminds me of more...


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Denmark for me. Happy little song


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Norway
Iceland
Spain

Top 3 I reckon.


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Norway, Australia or Sweden.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Why can't I vote? Both numbers not recognised.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Any "nul points"? I reckon San Marino.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Norway get my vote. Iceland sure, ok, but victims of their own hype - unless they'd brought on a dead sheep and a bunch of machine guns it wasn't going to cut it.

Not a classic year though. _How _many turgid ballads?


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

We should approach Rick Astley for next year, a likeable chap all round


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> but then i'd have to watch some performances twice. I don't think I could manage that.


It allows for toilet, more internet reading, making more complicated drinks. Er, chatting.  Or in my case, getting the child back to sleep and the fast forwarding.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> Any "nul points"? I reckon San Marino.


wot? they're who i'm trying to vote for! they surely will do well


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> We should approach Rick Astley for next year, a likeable chap all round


And girls aloud. All at once.


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> wot? they're who i'm trying to vote for! they surely will do well


Yeah. Memorable at the very least. Not just another power ballad.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

I dont know.
I liked both Denmark and Norway as songs.

I'll vote for Denmark...

On second thoughts....Australia.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> Any "nul points"? I reckon San Marino.


UK - turgid ballad and not even a good one amongst the other ones

San Marino were alright.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Come on, vote 6 22 52 17  

You know you want to!


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> Why can't I vote? Both numbers not recognised.


this is shit - lots of people complaining on twitter
number not recognised eurovision - Twitter Search


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

CONSPIRACY!


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

How many times can one vote?


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

So this is now where the voting seems to tell us one thing and then it entirely switches around at the last minute, right?


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> So this is now where the voting seems to tell us one thing and then it entirely switches around at the last minute, right?


After a lot of fannying about first


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Another outfit that Martin L. Gore would, should, wear


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Maybe this happened with the Estonian guitar too:


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Yeah. People and juries...


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

My top three are 
Denmark
Australia
Switzerland

Base on categories Tune, Lyrics, Performance, Costumes, Campness


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

I'm in Spain, so I could vote for "our" song if I remotely gave a Donald Duck.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

I like mans' glitter skirt


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)




----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> this is shit - lots of people complaining on twitter
> number not recognised eurovision - Twitter Search


oh wait, they're all from previous contests, not this one. 
anyone else been disenfranchised? I'm on 3


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

san marino
iceland
belarus

/ contrarian


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Oh, there's fucking gorgeous


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2019)

S☼I said:


> My top three are
> Denmark
> Australia
> Switzerland
> ...


Same here, but Australia first.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Su Pollard in tinfoil ?


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Now that's what I call a vajazzle ( Nine Bob Note )


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Oh, there's fucking gorgeous


Innit


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Ok, this one is making me feel quite tired. Slow it down FFS. Where's the ballads?


----------



## MrCurry (May 18, 2019)

Well it’s North Macedonia, Greece or Serbia for me. I’d probably vote for NM in the end.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Feckit there's a woman in extra long tights doing a weird jig.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Christ, it's Verka. Shouldn't he be running for president of Ukraine by now?


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

I'm enjoying all of this.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Norway 
Belarus 
Switzerland


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

I recognise this dude in the subtle silver number- can't recall where from


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Good idea for recycling there....


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

This interval show is highly entertaining!


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Fantastic


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

So I recognise like all the acts and all the songs. 


ETA not this one.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

This is like Mel Brooks on acid


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

Epona said:


> This interval show is highly entertaining!



madonna will be popping along to bring it down soon


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

The waving cats just finish it off nicely


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> madonna will be popping along to bring it down soon


Yup, all seriousness and blue steel


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

I just tuned into Eurovision on BBC iPlayer.

Has the world gone *absolutely* mad...?


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Hallelujah...what a nice song- good singalong song


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)




----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

wheres a- ba- ni -be ?


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> I recognise this dude in the subtle silver number- can't recall where from


Timmy Mallet in foil perversion


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Timmy Mallet in foil perversion



That's one of my favourite mid-90s Fall songs.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Timmy Mallet in foil perversion


"A novel by Beryl Bainbridge"


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Madge is coming up, so I shall share some of my favourite Eurovision tracks with you whilst I wait for my garlic bread to cook...


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

San Marino could be top 3 too.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

...


----------



## joustmaster (May 18, 2019)

I'm annoyed the subtitles aren't the English translation, like they once were. 

Also. 
This is program is making me wish I voted for farage.


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Do you think leave voters can bring themselves to watch?


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> That's one of my favourite mid-90s Fall songs.



I think it was the B-side of "Stockport bus queue wretchedness conspiracy".


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Top three for me..
Denmark
Norway
Australia.
I have no idea about order ... like them all. 
Australia could win..great voice and spectacular performance.
Norway has a really great song..
Denmark has the best feel good happy song. 

Hmm. 

No idea.


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

joustmaster said:


> I'm annoyed the subtitles aren't the English translation, like they once were.



They used to do it on the red button, but haven't for the last couple of years.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Ok, final prediction:
Norway
Spain
San Marino

Iceland: top 10

UK: nul


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

She looks like Maud Lebowski in the Dude's dream...


----------



## rekil (May 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Madge is coming up, so I shall share some of my favourite Eurovision tracks with you whilst I wait for my garlic bread to cook...


This was a big hit in Germany after failing to be chosen for their entry. 



Spoiler


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Madge does look like she's getting into the Eurovision spirit


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

weltweit said:


> Do you think leave voters can bring themselves to watch?


Given lots of entrants are not in the EU I don't see what relevance this has


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

She's not fully committed on the eye patch


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Oh, this is all too serious.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Madonna's stolen her eyepatch off of Gabrielle. She's such a vampire


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Madonna is so fucking weird.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

She still has bags of sex appeal imho


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Madonna is genuinely morphing into Courtney Love


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> She still has bags of sex appeal imho



You're right, I was being snarky but she looks great. If a bit mad.


----------



## moomoo (May 18, 2019)

Did I miss Madonna?


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Laughing at Norton saying how great madonna is to turn up with a bad case of conjunctivitis


..


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Fuck me, I thought that was going to be Led Zep Immigrant Song from the first three notes.


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

D'wards said:


> She still has bags of sex appeal imho


Genuinely thought it was an Israeli lookalike for the first minute or so.


----------



## rekil (May 18, 2019)

Amongst other questions, why is 'sex appeal' measured in 'bags'


----------



## rubbershoes (May 18, 2019)

Great song from 2009. 

Mad  dancing


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Madonna really dragged it down. Top achievement!


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Back on track now. This is good.


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 18, 2019)

Madonna seems to have come as future Blackadder


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

rubbershoes said:


> Great song from 2009.
> 
> Mad  dancing




Yes! Easily top ten, missed that from my earlier post


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

shes touring europe the year iirc, ticket sales must be sluggish


----------



## isvicthere? (May 18, 2019)

Cynical note: are these Arab-looking performers designed to make viewers forget about Israel's shameful activity in the West Bank and Gaza?


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Some dude from Final Fantasy VII just turned up.


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

What is with all the armour, did I miss info about an interval jousting tournament or something?


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Why is everyone dressed like Ride of the Valkyries suddenly?


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

The Eye of Sauron looks a bit ominous


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

OMG. GET ON WITH IT.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

who was the american dude?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Mentalist just makes me think of Alan Partridge


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

What the fuck is happening?


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

My fave Eurovision song from the last few years. Still on my faux-pod.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Isn't it funny how the rest of the world use the title mentalist for a mind reader, but in UK we can only think of one character when we hear it ...


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

we could have had more eurovision songs instead of this nonsense


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

The spirits are telling me it's a fucking syrup


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> we could have had more eurovision songs instead of this nonsense


They have to have all this for voting and the count I assume


----------



## peterkro (May 18, 2019)

Fuck me, the society of the spectacle just jumped the shark. (is down with the kids from 1947)


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

I thought Madonna's new song was called "Na na Banana". I'm disappointed now.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

cod reggae shite.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Ok, by the comments, I feel that the UK & Spainish coverage has diverged and we're now watching different things.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Going through all the songs again here. What about in the UK?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> Going through all the songs again here. What about in the UK?


Yup, same here


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Jesus, still 15 minutes' voting time left?

Who is it who's still making up their minds?


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Hearing Norway again...they're really great.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

What happened to Madonna btw?


----------



## MrCurry (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> Serbia: I know it's wrong of me but it's hard not to assume she's a white nationalist.



Serbia: I know it’s wrong of me, but it’s hard not to imagine her white bits.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Oh, she's on now


----------



## RubyToogood (May 18, 2019)

By a heroic effort I came into this an hour ago and have now watched everything. Or a bit of everything anyway.

I have to admit to liking Estonia. Otherwise Denmark and Norway for me please. Not that I care enough to vote.

Is it Single Transferable Vote or First Past the Post?


----------



## RubyToogood (May 18, 2019)

How much more of this nonsense is there now?


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Madonna going all gregorian chant.

Fuck. She's off key...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Given lots of entrants are not in the EU I don't see what relevance this has



Let's head over to the Mail...

"If only Treason Mayhem has pulled her finger out and actually delivered Brexit we could have been saved from this embarrassing spectacle"

"What a piece of crap this "contest" is, why the hell do we bother entering it and why does the bbc bother covering it. I know it has European in the title and we must bow down to everything European mustn't we. Some of the best bands in the world come from the UK harking from the 60s onwards none of these countries have anything like those bands, in fact they still buy tickets to see them. If they want a real contest base it on the last 60 years not on some rubbish contest with garbage "songs."

"EU's baby....a lot of cr*p."

"we need to start our own commonwealth-vision song contest after Brexit"

"Anti-capitalists! Ha!Ha! You mean champagne socialists as exemplified by the Bliars and Kinnocks. Nobody to have money but US. Bet you anything you like that those Icelandic kids have RICH families."

"Britain to take the crown? Has he seen the history, best he should be aiming for is to get some points and not finish in the bottom. The contest is all fixed and bias."


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Best Madonna song ever.

e2a: but yeah, off key like fuck. Ouch.


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Anyone else not keen on madonna


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

This hurts


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Oh great. I managed to resettle the child and get back in time for Madonna.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> Best Madonna song ever.
> 
> e2a: but yeah, off key like fuck. Ouch.


Big PRoD tune


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Madonna doing a mid 90s version of Like a Prayer there


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Christ.


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Bit out of tune.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2019)

her voice is off


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2019)

Lupa said:


> This hurts


Christ, shes been hitting the woodbines.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

ooh dear, bum notes


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

She's going to remove most of her outfit, right?


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

This is awful. The original is a great song


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

Good Madge tribute act.

Pity they couldn't get the real thing...


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

That's the end of Madonna. 

Fuck. 
I am gutted


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

I actually feel bad for her, this performance is awful


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Oooh she's a bit wobbly. I like the Monks though


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

ALL THE BELTS Madge!


----------



## peterkro (May 18, 2019)

Cadburys Nut Flake.


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Voice is still good but it seems like she can't hear the backing.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

everyone's a fruit n nut cake


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

Calamity1971 said:


> Christ, shes been hitting the woodbines.



They've just brought giant woodbines in for her.


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Its on mute now, works better for me


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

That's just fucking weird


----------



## weltweit (May 18, 2019)

Seems out of tune to me. .


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2019)

Her heart’s not in this is it?


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

I don't know what the hell this is but at least they've autotuned the fuck out of it.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Sensibly turned the auto tune now


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

am enjoying the nu dancehall vibes now


----------



## RubyToogood (May 18, 2019)

Yeah either she can't physically hold the note or there's been a technical malfunction and she can't hear what she's singing to.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

Well at least she's entered into the amusingly shit Eurovision spirit!


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

If I'd paid for a ticket I'd be demanding a refund about now....


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

Absolutely no sense irony with the gas masks then...


----------



## Plumdaff (May 18, 2019)

Even the autotuned bit is pretty lacklustre.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Is it me or did the aesthetic go a bit Salo: 100 Days of Sodom in the middle there?


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

The off key bits remind me of when Simon Le Bon bummed out at Live Aid - that was wince-inducing


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

Good on her mind you


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Oh Graham, damning with faint praise! 'She showed up...'


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)




----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Palestine and Israel flags on the backs of the dancers apparently


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Madonna's singing for Like a Prayer was way off. Cringeworthy. Pitched too high for her now. And the droney mlnks pitched low and pulled her voice down. 
Awful. 
Second song masked her voice so who knows what she was at there. 
All a bit weird.

One thing is certain ... Madonna is done.


----------



## Epona (May 18, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Palestine and Israel flags on the backs of the dancers apparently



Yes, at the end, walking up the steps holding hands - feel like I am the only person that seems to have noticed it!


----------



## friedaweed (May 18, 2019)

Just chooned in for 5 mins. God it's still shite


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

BBC iPlayer has the world's worst lag  

Can everyone delay your comments for about ten minutes so it at least _seems_ like real-time for me....?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 18, 2019)

That man in the red tie was disturbing me!!!


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Voting is already totally bobbins.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Ugh. Didn't pay attention for a minute. Is this juries?


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2019)

a_chap said:


> BBC iPlayer has the world's worst lag
> 
> Can everyone delay your comments for about ten minutes so it at least _seems_ like real-time for me....?


My god, that dinosaur looks so real? And breathing fire? With Elvis riding it!


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Ooh, Netherlands, we all know she was out of tune - you didn't have to mention it out loud


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

wtfftw said:


> Ugh. Didn't pay attention for a minute. Is this juries?


I think so. Were they watching the same show?


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

These are the same man and woman every time, running round the back and putting on different wigs and glasses, right?


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> Ooh, Netherlands, we all know she was out of tune - you didn't have to mention it out loud


Made me laugh


----------



## RubyToogood (May 18, 2019)

I didn't know Brian Cox was Norwegian.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

How do I get on the jury?


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

Shitty ballads ruling so far


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Wtf


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

wtfftw said:


> Wtf



ftw


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

North Macedonia was a dull ballad right?


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Not keen on  the lead song, hope the public vote will change things.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

It was at least not the worst of the dull ballads...


----------



## Gerry1time (May 18, 2019)

A380 said:


> My god, that dinosaur looks so real? And breathing fire? With Elvis riding it!



I know right! Can’t believe the UK won the whole competition too!


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

I was bored enough when North Macedonia got through the semis.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Noway picking up a few points now ..


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

I've slipped into the Twilight Zone. They said 'Now to Ireland, hello Sinead...' and for a moment I expected O'Connor.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Na na na is bottom. That's a surprise, isn't it?


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Yodelling refuse bag wearing vote for Australia  ha.


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Halfway through, jesus


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Why cant they just post up all the results altogether.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Oh, you're no fun


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

I love this bit


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Though I accept that the question 'What's going on in Belgium?' is unquestionably a sign that someone is playing for time.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 18, 2019)

I enjoy the awkward shitness of this bit. It's an International Partridge off, if you like.


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Why cant they just post up all the results altogether.


That would ruin the drinking  games


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> Oh, you're no fun



It's fecking drawn out and I am wrecked.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Swedish guy is cute in his M and S PJs


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Ouch. A bit awkward the Lithuanian mentioning an Israeli presenter's Lithuanian roots. There is no nice story behind that.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

The Russian judge was good on the piano.  Probably the most musical act all night...


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

So far I think Norway should be doing better.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Cant remember the song from North Macedonia at all.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Wow, if Servalan did tangerine...


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Lupa said:


> The Russian judge was good on the piano.  Probably the most musical act all night...


Insert Greece here.


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Every year


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Lecture from Latvia


----------



## RubyToogood (May 18, 2019)

I have enjoyed reading the madonna hashtag on Twitter but lost patience with the juries.

It's that moment where you realise just how wrong most people are.


----------



## billy_bob (May 18, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Lecture from Latvia



 Norton almost lost it...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Glad to see Tormund has got over Brienne


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> Norton almost lost it...


Hes been nicely sharp this year, made me laugh a few times


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

A guitar? A fucking guitar riff??? Dear god


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Waynes world


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

Not wishing to be a bit negative, but I'm starting to suspect the UK won't win this year.....


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

No idea what's going on or what will happen.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

a_chap said:


> Not wishing to be a bit negative, but I'm starting to suspect the UK won't win this year.....


Better than Jemini is a win


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

To make things worse I've now run out of alcohol


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Oh dear god there is another vote now.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Exciting!


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Ooof


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

3 points for UK


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2019)

3 points .


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Ouch


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

wtfftw said:


> Better than Jemini is a win


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Rock bottom


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Germany  gets zero..  
Sorry but I am laughing out loyd here


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 18, 2019)

Ha!


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

I did too


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

And I just spotted the UK is bottom... .
ROFL 



Sorry... 



ROFL


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

uk being last is brexit punishment


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Norway! My faith in people is restored. Fuck the judges.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Yay Norway.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

hah norway.


----------



## a_chap (May 18, 2019)

Three points?!?!?

The public vote? Seriously?

Fuck. I'm voting the Brexit party


----------



## D'wards (May 18, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Germany  gets zero..
> Sorry but I am laughing out loyd here


You'd have thought the Austrians would have thrown a few votes their way


----------



## tommers (May 18, 2019)

Sooner we get out the better.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 18, 2019)

I'm shocked that people in Europe aren't voting for the UK this year. Shocked.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2019)

magneze said:


> 3 points for UK


One of us needs to reimburse isvicthere? 45p.


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Naughty iceland


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

good on you, iceland


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

The presenter looks and acts like an undertaker


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Oh no Denmark not doing so well


----------



## Orang Utan (May 18, 2019)

a_chap said:


> Three points?!?!?
> 
> The public vote? Seriously?
> 
> Fuck. I'm voting the Brexit party


it's fair, he was shit


----------



## Plumdaff (May 18, 2019)

Well done Iceland


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Ow Czech Republic


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 18, 2019)

Iceland, bloody hell


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Come on Azerbaijan


Damnit


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Italy ? Wtf?


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

They've changed it tho. Used to be least points to top with no mind to jury placement. It was better.


----------



## wtfftw (May 18, 2019)

Come on Sweden.


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Dragging out a bit


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

I hope it's Italy now.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2019)

Sweden 
Sweden
Sweden


----------



## magneze (May 18, 2019)

Clearly I posted that just as they got overtaken


----------



## ginger_syn (May 18, 2019)

Thats a relief


----------



## Plumdaff (May 19, 2019)

I wanted to see North Macedonian Eurovision 2020


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 19, 2019)

Oh, poor North Macedonia. Or "Miss Nice Boobs" as Mrs SI called her


----------



## wtfftw (May 19, 2019)

Ffs


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

What?


----------



## ginger_syn (May 19, 2019)

Well done Netherlands  though i dont remember the song


----------



## magneze (May 19, 2019)

I like the tension of the voting even if it takes 42 million years.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

Guy on a piano . But I cant remember the song.


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 19, 2019)

Shit winner
Lad from Sweden's face tho


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

Shit  for Sweden


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 19, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Guy on a piano . But I cant remember the song.


You won't remember it even during it.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Shit winner
> Lad from Sweden's face tho



Yep. 
Awful blow.  I'd say he thought  they'd  get the popular vote


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 19, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Lad from Sweden's face tho



I expect so


----------



## a_chap (May 19, 2019)

....still waiting to hear the result on iPlayer


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

a_chap said:


> ....still waiting to hear the result on iPlayer



Oops


----------



## ginger_syn (May 19, 2019)

Norway was robbed


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 19, 2019)

a_chap said:


> ....still waiting to hear the result on iPlayer


Johnny Logan won with "Hold me now"


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

Everyone was robbed


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 19, 2019)

ginger_syn said:


> Norway was robbed



I believe they received the largest public vote


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

He is asking us to sing along. 
Lol..
Cant even remember the song so...


----------



## poului (May 19, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I believe they received the largest public vote


 
Faith in humanity restored. The judges are a joke.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 19, 2019)

bollox. the most memorable songs have scored poorly. the most anodyne songs have scored well. blandness rules. plus ca change.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

Everyone is out of step but for us


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 19, 2019)

Still don't remember it..


----------



## magneze (May 19, 2019)

Terrifying teeth.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

Actually its quite nice.

The song I mean. 

Sounds like somehing else  though


----------



## ginger_syn (May 19, 2019)

Oh I remember why I don't remember it now.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 19, 2019)

it's horridious


----------



## wtfftw (May 19, 2019)

Booooooooo


----------



## joustmaster (May 19, 2019)

What was the total Palestinian flag count?


----------



## tommers (May 19, 2019)

I can't seem to concentrate on it. I try but I keep forgetting and thinking about something else.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

I like that he didnt dress up for it.


----------



## ginger_syn (May 19, 2019)

joustmaster said:


> What was the total Palestinian flag count?


Don't know to busy laughing to count


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

I figure thr only public votes that got through all came from nursing homes.


----------



## magneze (May 19, 2019)

I need some sleep and that song was just the ticket. Thanks all for the thread. Always a highlight.


----------



## smmudge (May 19, 2019)

Yes i wanted him to win  i think the overall table of results was fair to be honest.

Didn't much care for Iceland till they brought out the Palestine flags


----------



## smmudge (May 19, 2019)

Although I think Malta should have done better.


----------



## rekil (May 19, 2019)

copliker said:


> Russia is rubbish but will be top 3ish.


Got that right at least.


----------



## Orang Utan (May 19, 2019)

Lupa said:


> I figure thr only public votes that got through all came from nursing homes.


my vote for San Marino was blocked. Fuming at being disenfranchised. It's rigged!


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 19, 2019)

no smiles from the icelandic agitproppers.


----------



## rekil (May 19, 2019)

3 pity points.


----------



## moomoo (May 19, 2019)

copliker said:


> View attachment 171459
> 
> 3 pity points.


----------



## hash tag (May 19, 2019)

I gather we were overwhelmingly voted out last night; no surprises there.
Also we did not come last in the judges votes and we did not come last with the public votes 
Congrats to Netherlands.


----------



## ska invita (May 19, 2019)

hash tag said:


> I gather we were overwhelmingly voted out last night; no surprises there.
> Also we did not come last in the judges votes and we did not come last with the public votes
> Congrats to Netherlands.


I'm surprised ... I genuinely thought the tune was okayish in a beige field

Didn't watch it in the end... Did he at least sing it in tune etc?


----------



## hash tag (May 19, 2019)

I did not watch as I was working. I gather the lad was ok and deserved better.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 19, 2019)

We had a Eurovision party last night and someone in the block called the cops!


----------



## hash tag (May 19, 2019)

Because of the party or for watching Eurovision?


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 19, 2019)

joustmaster said:


> What was the total Palestinian flag count?


Quite. I'm glad to hear Israel didn't win again. I boycotted last night but hope to resume normal Eurovision fun next yeah.


----------



## rekil (May 19, 2019)

I'd forgotten that Coldplay existed. Fuck you Holland.


----------



## A380 (May 19, 2019)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> We had a Eurovision party last night and someone in the block called the cops!


I know Madonna’s performance was bad, but that seems a bit excessive.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

She was really struggling to stay in tune. 

I hope it was just some issue with sound and not that her voice is gone to pot.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 19, 2019)

hash tag said:


> Because of the party or for watching Eurovision?



Both? 

There were 17 of us so we were probably quite loud. Cops showed up about 3 am but there were only 6 of us left. 

It's quiet time between 6am and 10pm so... guilty!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 19, 2019)

I actually missed Madonna


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> I actually missed Madonna



Count your blessings there.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 19, 2019)

ska invita said:


> I'm surprised ... I genuinely thought the tune was okayish in a beige field
> 
> Didn't watch it in the end... Did he at least sing it in tune etc?


Yeah he did fine, sang it as well as possible. I think there were just too many similarly beige entries that it got a bit lost.

Add that to the fact that everyone seems to dislike us and it meant fewer votes than I think he deserved.


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 19, 2019)

Everyone DOES dislike us. You could get a Blur/Oasis/Coldplay supergroup with McCartney and Adele as singers performing an unreleased Bowie song at Eurovision and we'd be fourth from bottom.


----------



## MrCurry (May 19, 2019)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> It's quiet time between 6am and 10pm so...



So... no problem being noisy at 3am then? As long as you quietened down by 6am


----------



## MrCurry (May 19, 2019)

Lupa said:


> She was really struggling to stay in tune.
> 
> I hope it was just some issue with sound and not that her voice is gone to pot.



It seemed like there was some kind of aggro between Madonna and the EBU during the lead up to the event - why else would Jon Ola Sand be making announcements that she wouldn’t be on stage because she hadn’t signed her contract?

It wouldn’t surprise me if ol’ Jon Ola’s hand slipped on the mixing desk and cut her talkback level so she couldn’t hear her own voice back through the earpiece, especially if he had caught wind of the Palestinian flag stunt the backing singers had up with sleeves (or was it up their arses?)


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2019)

MrCurry said:


> It seemed like there was some kind of aggro between Madonna and the EBU during the lead up to the event - why else would Jon Ola Sand be making announcements that she wouldn’t be on stage because she hadn’t signed her contract?
> 
> It wouldn’t surprise me if ol’ Jon Ola’s hand slipped on the mixing desk and cut her talkback level so she couldn’t hear her own voice back through the earpiece, especially if he had caught wind of the Palestinian flag stunt the backing singers had up with sleeves (or was it up their arses?)




You could be right.


----------



## smmudge (May 19, 2019)

I think madonna is always a bit out of tune nowadays. Still can put on a good show though.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 20, 2019)

It ain't political, they just don't like us 



(Whole thread that that is from is a good read)


----------



## Mrs Miggins (May 21, 2019)

I didn't join in the thread cos I was too busy having a party at ours. A party so good that in the morning, I couldn't remember who had won. Oops.


----------



## skyscraper101 (May 21, 2019)

The UK just need to realise, nobody in Europe gives a fuck about these piss average Eurovision songs. And getting an automatic shoe in to the finals isn't helping either.

Get something more interesting FFS. Get a Lordi style metal act, or get some established band for a change. Stop submitting these cack random nobodies with their forgettable music.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 21, 2019)

skyscraper101 said:


> Get some established band for a change


We gave them Humperdink and Tyler, and still they gave us nothing!!


----------



## Mrs Miggins (May 21, 2019)

skyscraper101 said:


> The UK just need to realise, nobody in Europe gives a fuck about these piss average Eurovision songs. And getting an automatic shoe in to the finals isn't helping either.
> 
> Get something more interesting FFS. Get a Lordi style metal act, or get some established band for a change. Stop submitting these cack random nobodies with their forgettable music.


Well said! We might as well submit all manner of eccentricity as nobody will vote for us whatever we send up so we might as well have fun with it.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 21, 2019)

Like a puppet turkey?


----------



## Mrs Miggins (May 21, 2019)

Lord Camomile said:


> Like a puppet turkey?


eh?


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 21, 2019)

Dustin the Turkey


----------



## Mrs Miggins (May 21, 2019)




----------



## gosub (May 22, 2019)

Eurovision admit screwing up 2019 song contest results | Metro News


LOL


----------

