# Location, location, location



## Cardigan (Jun 6, 2013)

Help me find the right place to relocate to:
Retired couple
£400,000 but could go up to £500,000
Minimum 3 bedrooms
Minimum 150 square metres.
A garden or courtyard
Safe parking for visiting family and friends
Located a maximum 45 minutes drive from Nailsea (grandchildren)
In a desirable, safe location 
Within 15 minutes drive of Marks and Spencers
Within 10 minute drive of a major supermarket
Within 10 minutes drive of a members golf club
Not in a city centre


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## ddraig (Jun 7, 2013)

errr no please or anything
doubt you'll get much help tbh, try mumsnet or somewhere


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## Libertad (Jun 7, 2013)

You could start by using this: http://maps.google.co.uk/
and then enter your own search parameters.

Alternatively you could use the services of a fucking Estate Agent.


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## Geri (Jun 7, 2013)

I think you will struggle to meet all those criteria. The M&S is problematic as I don't think there is one that you could drive to in 15 minutes if you need to be located 45 mins from Nailsea.

Pretty much all the others can be met in North Somerset but M&S is in Bristol/Cribbs which would be at least 1/2 hours drive.


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## xenon (Jun 7, 2013)

Fuck off. 

Do your own research. Maps, Right Move, Up My street.


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## Cardigan (Jun 7, 2013)

xenon said:


> Fuck off.
> Do your own research. Maps, Right Move, Up My street.


 
Asking questions is 'research' cretin.
Being a loser may make you angry but you may find anger management classes a help or try putting your head in a dooorway and get Libertad to pull the door closed on your head repeatedly until you feel better then you do the same for him. I promise you'll both feel better after the ringing in your ears stops.


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## Cardigan (Jun 7, 2013)

ddraig said:


> doubt you'll get much help tbh, try mumsnet or somewhere


 
Thanks for the tip

Looking at some of the posts below your I think you may be right, I may be in the wrong place. 

That said I do very much enjoy the occasion verbal jousting with intellectual retards who think that that a few vulgar expletives stack up against a well constructed argument. You know who you are - come on guys amuse me.


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## Cardigan (Jun 7, 2013)

I did notice on this forum Politics and other sections where there may be some debate.But this is the 'places' section.Clearly from the responses I've had the purpose of this section of the forum is not to ask about the 'place' so what is the purpose?


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## Libertad (Jun 7, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Asking questions is 'research' cretin.
> Being a loser may make you angry but you may find anger management classes a help or try putting your head in a dooorway and get Libertad to pull the door closed on your head repeatedly until you feel better then you do the same for him. I promise you'll both feel better after the ringing in your ears stops.


 

And there was me thinking I was providing valid advice. Suit yourself.

Anyhow, welcome to the boards Cardigan . You'll find that the use of the word "cretin" is frowned upon here and that the inclusion of the word "please" in your OP would have garnered a more sympathetic reaction.


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## xes (Jun 7, 2013)

All you have to do is be able to type on here, and you will recieve torrents of abuse. Ask for somthing?? Well, blimey, you were asking for trouble 

Good luck in your search for a nice place to live. I can't be of any service to you, I'm sure you'll find some help, if you don't mind sifting through the shit first....


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## Libertad (Jun 7, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Thanks for the tip
> 
> Looking at some of the posts below your I think you may be right, I may be in the wrong place.
> 
> That said I do very much enjoy the occasion verbal jousting with intellectual retards who think that that a few vulgar expletives stack up against a well constructed argument. You know who you are - come on guys amuse me.


 
"Retards"?


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## ddraig (Jun 7, 2013)

charmer and no mistake


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## Thora (Jun 7, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> I did notice on this forum Politics and other sections where there may be some debate.But this is the 'places' section.Clearly from the responses I've had the purpose of this section of the forum is not to ask about the 'place' so what is the purpose?


 
There are lots of other threads on here where people are moving to the area and asking advice - try reading them, and compare to your posts.  See if you can work out the problem.


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## Cardigan (Jun 7, 2013)

Libertad said:


> You'll find that the use of the word "cretin" is frowned upon here.


 
Oh, OK, I see, Cretin is frowned upon but telling someone who asks a simple question to FUCK OFF is not!   

This could be a fun place to spend some time, in the topsy turvy world in which we now live


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## Libertad (Jun 7, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Oh, OK, I see, Cretin is frowned upon but telling someone who asks a simple question to FUCK OFF is not!
> 
> This could be a fun place to spend some time, in the topsy turvy world in which we now live


 
That's about the size of it yes. This is Urban75, we have standards to uphold.


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## xes (Jun 7, 2013)

Libertad said:


> That's about the size of it yes. This is Urban75, we have standards to uphold.


they are really fucking low, but we uphold them!


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## jakethesnake (Jun 7, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Help me find the right place to relocate to:
> Retired couple
> £400,000 but could go up to £500,000
> Minimum 3 bedrooms
> ...


 
You sound dull and come over as a bit rude too. What a winning combination.


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## Maurice Picarda (Jun 7, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Help me find the right place to relocate to:
> Retired couple
> £400,000 but could go up to £500,000
> Minimum 3 bedrooms
> ...



Yes, the South West is definitely the right place for you. Or East Anglia, at a pinch, and if the grandchildren go off you quite quickly.  HTH.


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## xenon (Jun 8, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Asking questions is 'research' cretin.
> Being a loser may make you angry but you may find anger management classes a help or try putting your head in a dooorway and get Libertad to pull the door closed on your head repeatedly until you feel better then you do the same for him. I promise you'll both feel better after the ringing in your ears stops.




Need I really explain this? You sign up, ask quite a specific question that would involve research, unless you imagine someone just happens to know of somewhere that meats your precise criteria off hand. Then get the hump with a friendly fuck off or similar. This my friend is how shit works. I don't know where you blow in from or whom you're used to asking advice from. But just rocking up any where, online or in real life, asking basically, help me find XYZ and getting the hump when people don't spoon feed you. Well it's a bit off no?

I don't know why I bother really but to give you a clue. If you'd done some research and showed up asking what's X area like to live in etc. (as many others have done.) You might have found a warmer reception.

Anyway fuck off. I mislike your attitude. You have no grace, manners or wit.


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## gentlegreen (Jun 8, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Within 15 minutes drive of Marks and Spencers



Just how often do you run out of socks ?


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## Badgers (Jun 8, 2013)

Cardigan 

Do you like jacket potatoes?


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## equationgirl (Jun 9, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> Thanks for the tip
> 
> Looking at some of the posts below your I think you may be right, I may be in the wrong place.
> 
> That said I do very much enjoy the occasion verbal jousting with intellectual retards who think that that a few vulgar expletives stack up against a well constructed argument. You know who you are - come on guys amuse me.


 
Please do not use retard as a perjorative, it is not acceptable.


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## gentlegreen (Jun 9, 2013)

A bit odd coming from an older person too ... not sure even an American grandparent would use the term.


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## Hocus Eye. (Jun 9, 2013)

Cardigan said:


> I did notice on this forum Politics and other sections where there may be some debate.But this is the 'places' section.Clearly from the responses I've had the purpose of this section of the forum is not to ask about the 'place' so what is the purpose?


It is to provide forums for people who reside in various parts of the country to discuss issues that affect them in the context of where they live. The main forums are very London centric and probably most of the posters live in London and the South East with a large number of those living in or near Brixton where the editor of the site lives.

If you want to be accepted by the posters on these boards you need to take part in various discussions about different topics so that people can get a idea of what you are like. After that, asking for help with finding things or places will not ruffle anyone's feathers.

For a start you could begin by saying what part of the country you come from. Then perhaps give some details of what kind of work you are retiring from and maybe why you want to live around Bristol. You appear to be affluent from the price of the house you want to buy. Lots of people on these boards are the very opposite of that so flaunting your wealth and demanding information about housing locations is not calculated to appeal. Go on have another go, there are all sorts of people here and you might find friends.


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## gentlegreen (Jun 9, 2013)

And the over-50 contingent is still a bit lacking.


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## Epico (Jun 9, 2013)

Which banned returner has posted this as a wind-up?


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## Thora (Jun 9, 2013)

Epico said:


> Which banned returner has posted this as a wind-up?


 
This has to be the most massively dull wind up ever if it is


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## Epico (Jun 9, 2013)

Thora said:


> This has to be the most massively dull wind up ever if it is



 Haha, quite possibly. Maybe it's a build up to another thread about cleaners or 'chavs'.


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