# Police Community Support Officers



## twentythreedom (Oct 6, 2011)

What is it with these jobsworth wannabe gimps?

Paid informants, general do-gooders, enforcers of petty regulations, Andy McNab fantasists, and actors in the performance of "bobbies on the beat".

The 'shock'(ing) troops of the neo-lib-con-dem new order.

The two local ones here are such busybody muppets, forever brandishing their notebooks upon sight of a dog turd that didn't have planning permission.

Are they allowed to go breaking skulls on demos etc?


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## Pickman's model (Oct 6, 2011)

they have no public order training, while they may occasionally 'police' or rather steward demos (i've seen them on kurdish demos in north london) they're fucking useless.


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## jakethesnake (Oct 6, 2011)

PCSO = Police Constable, Sort Of


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## Pickman's model (Oct 6, 2011)

jakethesnake said:


> PCSO = Police Constable, Sort Of


pseudoplod


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## jakethesnake (Oct 6, 2011)

They're all getting laid off aren't they? Victims of the cuts.


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## Pickman's model (Oct 6, 2011)

haha


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## DotCommunist (Oct 7, 2011)

better or worse than hobby bobbies?

I shout 'get a real job' when I se them. Which if the above news is true, they may soon have to


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## PlaidDragon (Oct 7, 2011)

They always smile at people as they walk round my village. It really fucking infuriates me. I hate nice people.


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## PlaidDragon (Oct 7, 2011)

The above post isn't even sarcastic either, they shouldn't be simpering about doing fuck all, they should be doing some proper PCSO work. Like scooping up dog shit or picking on 12 year olds.


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## dynamicbaddog (Oct 7, 2011)

twentythreedom said:


> The two local ones here are such busybody muppets, forever brandishing their notebooks upon sight of a dog turd that didn't have planning permission.


The ones round here are like that too. A couple of years ago one of them tried to tell me off for   allowing my dog to _'urinate on a public walkway'_


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## Mr.Bishie (Oct 7, 2011)

DotCommunist said:


> I shout 'get a real job' when I see them.



In Hertfordshire, PCSO's are earning more (pa) than regular coppers!


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## Pickman's model (Oct 7, 2011)

dynamicbaddog said:


> The ones round here are like that too. A couple of years ago one of them tried to tell me off for allowing my dog to _'urinate on a public walkway'_


i hope you told him to piss off


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## Maurice Picarda (Oct 7, 2011)

It's the primary route of entry into becoming a propper copper these days, so it's a perfectly sensible career choice. Think of them as cadets.


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## Maurice Picarda (Oct 7, 2011)

Mr.Bishie said:


> In Hertfordshire, PCSO's are earning more (pa) than regular coppers!



Really? Are you sure? Is that something to do with calculation of OT?


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## Mr.Bishie (Oct 7, 2011)

According to an oink forum, 25k apparently! 18k in Lancs. No idea whether that includes OT.


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## stuff_it (Oct 7, 2011)

In Nottingham them not being allowed to do arrests means that what actually happens is they grip you up hard while they call for backup. There's a woman copper that is related to someone who lives on our site - I spotted her drying her hi-viz after washing it the other day and had a quick nosey to make sure she was a real one and not one of these officious little shits.

I think it may be her that left the incense sticks on the truck steps though...'come on you lot at least _pretend_ it's incense I can always smell coming out of your truck'.


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## Pickman's model (Oct 7, 2011)

Maurice Picarda said:


> It's the primary route of entry into becoming a propper copper these days, so it's a perfectly sensible career choice. Think of them as scum.


*corrected for you*


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## Maurice Picarda (Oct 7, 2011)

Yes, very droll. I wonder what the split is on this board between people who, broadly speaking, admire police officers more than they do criminals and those who feel the opposite. If, like some people here, I had a devoted PA who would rather devise polls for me on Urban than do her nails or update Facebook, I would ask her to spring into action. But I don't. And I have to write 2,000 pithy and well-judged words by lunchtime.


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## Mr.Bishie (Oct 7, 2011)

On further reading, from 2008 PSCO pay has now dropped - starting salary 16,500 (dependant on location), & that doesn't include shift allowance or OT.


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## Athos (Oct 7, 2011)

I once saw some PCSOs humiliated by a cheeky little scrote. They were attempting to get him to do something. Instead of trying to engage with him, they bustered in, talking down to him, trying to exercise the very minimal power they have, to the fullest. When he refused, one of the PCSOs made to reach for his belt. The kid called his bluff and said "what you gonna do? Shine your torch on me?". Knowing full well he had no cuffs, baton, pepper spray etc. The way he said it was absolutely priceless - a mixture of ridicule and contempt. Even the upstanding citizens who had overheard this couldn't help roaring with laughter. At which point the PCSOs skulked away.


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## DotCommunist (Oct 7, 2011)

it's not a binary choice subject. Coppers are asily as non admirable as noces for instance, but car thieves can lord it over coppers in the hierarchy of my contempt


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## Mr.Bishie (Oct 7, 2011)




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## stuff_it (Oct 7, 2011)

Maurice Picarda said:


> Yes, very droll. I wonder what the split is on this board between people who, broadly speaking, admire police officers more than they do criminals and those who feel the opposite. If, like some people here, I had a devoted PA who would rather devise polls for me on Urban than do her nails or update Facebook, I would ask her to spring into action. But I don't. And I have to write 2,000 pithy and well-judged words by lunchtime.


I don't admire them, but I know I get less shit off of an experienced police officer than a younger one or a PCSO.


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## Pickman's model (Oct 7, 2011)

Maurice Picarda said:


> Yes, very droll. I wonder what the split is on this board between people who, broadly speaking, admire police officers more than they do criminals and those who feel the opposite. If, like some people here, I had a devoted PA who would rather devise polls for me on Urban than do her nails or update Facebook, I would ask her to spring into action. But I don't. And I have to write 2,000 pithy and well-judged words by lunchtime.


mate, if you can't write 100 pithy and well-judged words on this subject, how are you going to manage 2,000 on another before the afternoon?

you're taking the pith


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## Mr.Bishie (Oct 7, 2011)

stuff_it said:


> I don't admire them, but I know I get less shit off of an experienced police officer than a younger one or a PCSO.



Swings 'n roundabouts.


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## Stash (Oct 7, 2011)

Maurice Picarda said:


> Yes, very droll. I wonder what the split is on this board between people who, broadly speaking, admire police officers more than they do criminals and those who feel the opposite. If, like some people here, I had a devoted PA who would rather devise polls for me on Urban than do her nails or update Facebook, I would ask her to spring into action. But I don't. And I have to write 2,000 pithy and well-judged words by lunchtime.


What about coppers who _are_ criminals?


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## Pickman's model (Oct 7, 2011)

Stash said:


> What about coppers who _are_ criminals?


as the rolling stones said 'every cop is a criminal'


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## stuff_it (Oct 7, 2011)

Stash said:


> What about coppers who _are_ criminals?


There are quite a few as well.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/mar/11/police-officers-criminal-records


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## mr steev (Oct 7, 2011)

PlaidDragon said:


> They always smile at people as they walk round my village. It really fucking infuriates me. I hate nice people.



They're not being 'nice', at best they are under the delusion they are Dixon of Dock Green, but more likely the uniform is making them feel smug and condescending


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## Jon-of-arc (Oct 7, 2011)

God bless the PCSO's.  In a court case where I was up for theft and criminal damage, my thick as shit local PCSO really did a lot of damage to the prosecution case by blatantly manufacturing her "recollections" of the incident.  She claimed that I was involved in a foot chase with police (I wasn't - the CPS had to acknowledge this after she left the stand), she claimed when I tried to hand an item in to her that I was accused of stealing, I said "I'm only handing this in because my lawyer told me to" (I didn't).  A few other things.  It was such transparently bad evidence that when I was called myself, I was able to say that everything she said was a figment of her imagination and when the prosecutor asked if I was questioning her integrity, I was able to say "no, just her competence".


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## 100% masahiko (Oct 7, 2011)

CSOs are fuckin' shit. I had one right in my face when I was trying to get a mate out of trouble (he was pissed and got jumped on so wasn't himself). I was calming him down and this spotty PCO twat with his fat accomplice tried to 'break it up' and thought I was a criminal of some sorts. I told them not to touch me as it was assault, and I would have to react. So they just stood around us instead. Blocking us from leaving. It got me infuriated. Real angry.

I called them pricks and cunts for about 5 minutes until a real copper came along. The copper laughed at my insults and agreed with me. Said for me to calm down, which I did.  Copper let us go then.

Complete uselsess wankers CSOs.


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## SpookyFrank (Oct 7, 2011)

stuff_it said:


> In Nottingham them not being allowed to do arrests means that what actually happens is* they grip you up hard while they call for backup.* There's a woman copper that is related to someone who lives on our site - I spotted her drying her hi-viz after washing it the other day and had a quick nosey to make sure she was a real one and not one of these officious little shits.



That's assault and you may use reasonable force to defend yourself.


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## Garek (Oct 7, 2011)

Plastic pigs.

I was drinking in a no drinking zone the other week and they told me to stop. So I said I would and carried on and they just walked off. Bobbies on the beat for cheap.

They are however one step up I reckon from being a _volunteer_. You have to be a real special sort of cunt to be filth for free.


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## stuff_it (Oct 7, 2011)

SpookyFrank said:


> That's assault and you may use reasonable force to defend yourself.


Because that would go down so well...Notts police are known for being dodgy, vindictive and corrupt.


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## kenny g (Oct 7, 2011)

I always try to look beyond the uniform.


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## SpookyFrank (Oct 8, 2011)

stuff_it said:


> Because that would go down so well... police are known for being dodgy, vindictive and corrupt.



Corrected


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## twentythreedom (Oct 8, 2011)

I used to endure weekly ID checks by the same PCSO when I was homeless. He didn't seem to grasp that I would usually be the same person I was the last time he checked. He'd write my details in his book every time, but didn't seem to understand why once would've been enough.

Cadets? Fuck, I hope not.


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## twentythreedom (Oct 8, 2011)

The local PCSOs here are known as Zammo and Stretch


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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 8, 2011)

had a thing where one of them wanted to confiscate my cider.

he got flustered because i started asking questions about council boundries and the right and wrong places to drink.

they ended up saying i could keep the drink but as i only had dregs left i binned it and left him feeling like he had wrongly herrased an innocent drinkler

which he had

the problem is he doesn't get the differencing between controlled and banned and to be honest i'm not sure if the proper ones do either. or at leat i don't thing they care to contemplate the difference


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## twentythreedom (Oct 8, 2011)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> had a thing where one of them wanted to confiscate my cider.
> 
> he got flustered because i started asking questions about council boundries and the right and wrong places to drink.
> 
> ...



They are mostly a bit dim.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 8, 2011)

i feel perturbed as i could see the bit of him who wanted to be a good person. they just don't really ascribe to personal liberty so get a little flustered when they find someone who is doing "wrong" yet can enter into an intellectual debate with them over things like the the ridiculousness of borough boundary jurisdiction while at the same time sounding like someone doing the shipping forcast


these people often arn't  nasty   they just have a tendancy  to have a lot of  curtain twitcher DNA  in their makeup

at leat they are better than  those  warden fuckers  who are total  naibourhood watch fuckers in a high vis jacket


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## stuff_it (Oct 8, 2011)

twentythreedom said:


> They are mostly a bit dim.


You never meet the few slightly smarter ones as they get syphoned off into actual looking for criminals or management....or they get desk jobs where you never see them because they are smarter.


twentythreedom said:


> The local PCSOs here are known as Zammo and Stretch


Before there were PCSOs (which will soon enough sound like the 'before there were mobiles' thread), we had two notorious beat coppers  in Nottingham that were nicknamed 'Tweedledum and Tweedledee'. They were both very round with moustaches and could have been twins or at least brothers. They used to like harassing homeless people, street drinkers and even buskers in the town centre.

I think I am the only person ever to not get spuriously nicked by them - and I quote 'because we don't want to arrest your lovely doggywog'!  (She was only 6 months and pretty cure tbf).


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## discokermit (Oct 8, 2011)

they're not as bad as real coppers.


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## spawnofsatan (Oct 8, 2011)

stuff_it said:


> You never meet the few slightly smarter ones as they get syphoned off into actual looking for criminals or management....or they get desk jobs where you never see them because they are smarter.
> 
> Before there were PCSOs (which will soon enough sound like the 'before there were mobiles' thread), we had two notorious beat coppers in Nottingham that were nicknamed 'Tweedledum and Tweedledee'. They were both very round with moustaches and could have been twins or at least brothers. They used to like harassing homeless people, street drinkers and even buskers in the town centre.
> 
> I think I am the only person ever to not get spuriously nicked by them - and I quote 'because we don't want to arrest your lovely doggywog'!  (She was only 6 months and pretty cure tbf).


 
I'd have Rodney Kinged your ass, hippy


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## Frances Lengel (Oct 8, 2011)

twentythreedom said:


> What is it with these jobsworth wannabe gimps?
> 
> Paid informants, general do-gooders, enforcers of petty regulations, Andy McNab fantasists, and actors in the performance of "bobbies on the beat".
> 
> ...


 
Shurrup yer dick.


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## twentythreedom (Oct 8, 2011)

Frances Lengel said:


> Shurrup yer dick.



What's the problem?


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## Frances Lengel (Oct 8, 2011)

twentythreedom said:


> What's the problem?


 
Happen I'm a polisman.


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## DotCommunist (Oct 9, 2011)

get a real job


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## stuff_it (Oct 9, 2011)

discokermit said:


> they're not as bad as real coppers.


No, they are far, far worse. Like traffic wardens for mis-parked people.

 


Frances Lengel said:


> Happen I'm a polisman.


Why am I not surprised.


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## sheothebudworths (Oct 9, 2011)

DotCommunist said:


> get a real job





Full circle!


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## sim667 (Oct 10, 2011)

£16.5k

Thats more than I get paid, im clearly in th wrong job.

Of course I'd rather get both my arms cut off than be one of those twats.


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