# Names of the fictional families in your foreign language textbooks at school?



## Dirty Martini (Feb 13, 2009)

We had la famille Bertillon for French, comprising maman, papa et les trois enfants, plus Miquet le chat, and the Grubers for German, featuring future psychpathic layabout Hans and his well-behaved sister (Helga?).

A crap thread for a Friday afternoon.


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## Pip (Feb 13, 2009)

All I can remember is videos of really smug, annoying French teenagers in dated t-shirts.

Once there was a mini riot in class when Yves said his least favourite lesson was English. The whole class stopped talking through the video and started shouting "fuck you, Yves!". Strange times


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## quimcunx (Feb 13, 2009)

Gaius Cornelius, a Roman senator, his wife, Aurelia, and their two children, Marcus and Cornelia, from the Ecce Romani textbooks.


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## Lea (Feb 13, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> Gaius Cornelius, a Roman senator, his wife, Aurelia, and their two children, Marcus and Cornelia, from the Ecce Romani textbooks.



Wow you've got good memory. We used the same books at school as well.


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## quimcunx (Feb 13, 2009)

Lea said:


> Wow you've got good memory. We used the same books at school as well.



The only names I could remember was Cornelia and Flavia, who, upon googling, turns out to be their neighbour. 



> Ecce! In pictura est puella.  Puella nomine Cornelia.  Cornelia est puella Romani.


 were the opening lines IIRC. 

I take it you were schooled in Scotland?


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## fen_boy (Feb 13, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> Gaius Cornelius, a Roman senator, his wife, Aurelia, and their two children, Marcus and Cornelia, from the Ecce Romani textbooks.



If that's the same one we had I thought it was Quintus Caecilius Iucundus and Gaius Salvius Liberalis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cambridge_Latin_Course

e2a I only remembered the text book name and looked the rest up btw


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## fen_boy (Feb 13, 2009)

We had the Bertillons in French too


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## Lea (Feb 13, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> The only names I could remember was Cornelia and Flavia, who, upon googling, turns out to be their neighbour.
> 
> were the opening lines IIRC.
> 
> I take it you were schooled in Scotland?



No I went to school in Kent but we used the same text books. You even remember the first line of the book!!! My memory is not too bad after all. I managed to translate that first line! yay!


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## danny la rouge (Feb 13, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> Gaius Cornelius, a Roman senator, his wife, Aurelia, and their two children, Marcus and Cornelia, from the Ecce Romani textbooks.


Ecce in pictura est puella parva.  Quis est puella parva?


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## danny la rouge (Feb 13, 2009)

Ah, done already.  I see mine was an older edition.


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## Fedayn (Feb 13, 2009)

La Famille Marsaud.


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## electrogirl (Feb 13, 2009)

Pip said:


> All I can remember is videos of really smug, annoying French teenagers in dated t-shirts.
> 
> Once there was a mini riot in class when Yves said his least favourite lesson was English. The whole class stopped talking through the video and started shouting "fuck you, Yves!". Strange times



lol!

Patriotism alive and well.

Yves was blatantly a cunt though.


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## Orang Utan (Feb 13, 2009)

Fränzi Der Schwein


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## Dillinger4 (Feb 13, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> lol!
> 
> Patriotism alive and well.
> 
> Yves was blatantly a cunt though.



You were in a French textbook.


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## Orang Utan (Feb 13, 2009)

We had to have different names in French - I was Jean though my name is Robert. Some kid called Umesh was Robert.


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## sojourner (Feb 13, 2009)

I can only remember a Pierre

I was shit at French


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## Maurice Picarda (Feb 13, 2009)

Yes. Philippe, Alain, Marie-Claude et Mere et pere Bertillon. Et Oncle Quelque-Chose qui travailled en television et gagned shit loads of argent, to the point that he acheted une voiture once simply to get some shopping home. Oh, how we laughed. Philippe was a little shit who dreamed of owning une ordinateur. Marie-Claude was an unattainable minx. 

And then there was, of course, Clemens and Grumio and the werewolf (see Urban threads passim). And Dikaiopolis the lazy slave from Athenadze, whose hobby was either releasing or ransoming oxen, or thinking about doing so in the future, or reminiscing about oxen he had released in the past, so that we could conjugate every possible bit of the verb "luo".


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 13, 2009)

heh! we had the famille Bertillon as well. i got so fucked off with my french o level that i wrote the picture essay in franglais (our school library stocked punch) about motorhead landing at an airport and vomiting on the tarmac (because i'd revised the french word for vomit) 

I got a 'U' grade


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## Badger Kitten (Feb 13, 2009)

See also this great thread of yore


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## Pip (Feb 13, 2009)

This probably isn't a popular view, but bring back Latin 
It was obviously well and truly off state school curriculums when I went, but some university student went off on a tangent and ran through the basics with me once in primary school, and I can honestly say it was the most illuminating exchange I ever had.


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 13, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> heh! we had the famille Bertillon as well. i got so fucked off with my french o level that i wrote the picture essay in franglais (our school library stocked punch) about motorhead landing at an airport and vomiting on the tarmac (because i'd revised the french word for vomit)
> 
> I got a 'U' grade



I got a "U" grade for my French O level as well 

I think they did you a diservice as I couldn't even manage the picture essay.

I do remember that all  I could say in the oral test was "Je joue au tennis" which was a lie anyway as I didn't play tennis.

Can't remember the names of the family in the textbook apart from that one of them was called Adolf (or maybe it was Adolphe) which seemed very un-French to me.

Oh and a childrens story we were read once when someone pretended to be a ghost and ran around saying "Je suis un phantom!!" Damn, I should have used that in my oral as well!


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## gaijingirl (Feb 13, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> Gaius Cornelius, a Roman senator, his wife, Aurelia, and their two children, Marcus and Cornelia, from the Ecce Romani textbooks.



yes.. me too!!!  We had them.... but until now I couldn't have named them or the book!


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 13, 2009)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I got a "U" grade for my French O level as well
> 
> I think they did you a diservice as I couldn't even manage the picture essay.
> 
> ...


it did make it difficult to tell off the daughter when she flunked her exams recently. 

what made it worse, was our french teacher was called..........mr armfelt 

the poor man had apparently written a homoerotic novel, he had a name that implied all kinds of things to juvenile minds and we made his life a misery.


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## the button (Feb 13, 2009)

Die Familie Schaudi. Children Hans and Lieselotte. Dog called Lumpi.


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 13, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> it did make it difficult to tell off the daughter when she flunked her exams recently.
> 
> *what made it worse, was our french teacher was called..........mr armfelt*
> 
> the poor man had apparently written a homoerotic novel, he had a name that implied all kinds of things to juvenile minds and we made his life a misery.



That made me lol. A lot


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## electrogirl (Feb 13, 2009)

I just remember a cartoon fella called Alphonse who was always getting into scrapes.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 13, 2009)

All I remember was shitty bibliobus book series with it's cheapness and rubbishness


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## electrogirl (Feb 13, 2009)

My french teacher was called Mr Startup.


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## the button (Feb 13, 2009)

Mine was called Mr Driscoll.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 13, 2009)

Mine was some aussie wanker, but our learning assistant was Solange. Ah sweet Solange, I'll never forge the way your skirt would ride thighwards


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## Lea (Feb 13, 2009)

We had a lovely French teacher called Madame Vehrle-Smith.


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## quimcunx (Feb 13, 2009)

I can't remember any of my French teacher's names. I can barely remember any names at all.


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## electrogirl (Feb 13, 2009)

I got sent out of a French class once for singing the Eternal hit 'Angel of Mine'.


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## Sweet FA (Feb 16, 2009)

Fedayn;8752847]La Famille Marsaud[/QUOTE][QUOTE=the button said:


> Die Familie Schaudi



These bastards. 




Did anyone have a 'Language Lab'? Ecoutez et repetez. You were supposed to tape yourself ecoutezing and repetezing various phrases. The teacher was at the front and could listen in randomly. So began the game of 'Language Lab Roulette' which involved taping yourself saying 'fuck off Miss Hannah you big fat cunt' then frantically rewinding and erasing in case she listened in.


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## sheothebudworths (Feb 16, 2009)

Hans und Lieselotte.


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## toblerone3 (Feb 16, 2009)

the button said:


> Die Familie Schaudi. Children Hans and Lieselotte. Dog called Lumpi.



I had the same book.

French was Longman's Audio Visual French 1973 featuring Jean Paul et Claudette and Monsiur Marsaud and his Madam.


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## sheothebudworths (Feb 16, 2009)

the button said:


> Die Familie Schaudi. Children Hans and Lieselotte. Dog called Lumpi.


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## toblerone3 (Feb 16, 2009)

Sweet FA said:


> These bastards.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Do Language Lab's still exist? Such a 1970s concept. "Ecoutez et repetez encore une fois"


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## Fullyplumped (Feb 16, 2009)

Whwen I was at primary school in Glasgow in the sixties and early seventies, we had French lessons on closed circuit TV. They were conducted by a Madame Anne Slack, and there were puppets called _Patapouf_ and _Cliquot_. There were no textbooks. 

Now it all seems so bizarre that I almost doubt my memory. Has anyone else experienced Patapouf?

Edited to add - Madame Anne Slack definitely existed and was a pioneer in her field. the TV programmes were produced by Americans - I didn't realise that at the time.


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## Fedayn (Feb 17, 2009)

Sweet FA said:


> These bastards.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yep room 33 next to the Modern Languages room.


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## mauvais (Feb 17, 2009)

Fifi à Paris anyone?

The English ones were bad enough. If I ever track down Roger motherfucking Red Hat I'm going to fuck him up.


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## mauvais (Feb 17, 2009)

I bet he votes Johnson.


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## schnickschnack (Feb 17, 2009)

When I learnt English, we followed the fortunes of Mr and Mrs Scott and their kids Linda and Colin (plus Toby the dog and Tibby the cat) who lived in Birmingham. For years I thought everyone in England was called Linda and Colin. The textbook had a totally insane storyline - I remember one chapter was about the TV engineer coming round and having a heart attack (and our teacher going: 'repeat after me: he had a heart attack, a heart attack, a heart attack!)


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