# new york city - most polite city on earth?



## catrina (Apr 7, 2008)

Last week we were in New York. On exiting the subway with a massive piece of luggage, the first person to pass me immediately offered to help me carry it up the large flight of steps. He didn't run off with it and steal it, just helped me carry it and wished me a very nice day.

Next day, on the way back to JFK, same situation. Nevermind the busy rush hour - person immediately offers to help me with my bag down the stairs, and wanted to make sure I was going to be OK getting it onto the train. 

Once on the train, perhaps 5-7 different people explained to us where we needed to get off to get the air train. Then the announcer came on the train telling us to get off and change trains if we wanted the airport. Same people came up to us and made sure we were OK, then once back on the train counted the number of stops off for us.

Now, I lived in NYC in the mid 90s for a short while and certainly don't ever remember it being like this. Maybe it's a new city, maybe I've been in London too long, but thank you, New York!


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## softybabe (Apr 7, 2008)

you've lived in London too long 

I found New Yorkers very helpful too and more so as soon as they hear our accents...cos we iz foreigners


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## LM17 (Apr 7, 2008)

When I was in NY with my sister at the beginning of February we got on a bus and didn't realise you had to have the exact amount - whilst I was scrabbling about in my purse for it at least two people offered me change. 

Wouldn't happen round my way!


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## catrina (Apr 7, 2008)

softybabe said:


> cos we iz foreigners



I'm American!! (i've developed a bit of an accent, but still!)


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## rachamim18 (Apr 8, 2008)

Try it on the #4 or 5 in Rush Hour and see what you think. Truly glad you had a good trip but you really did not see the place. If you tried it in said situation there might very well have been a fist fight and certainly would have been called a few choice expletives. I think overall NYers are getting nicer with the less crime and all but the overall surliness is there for the duration.

I can give a million examples actually. Still, good to see you had no problems, nor the other poster.


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## editor (Apr 8, 2008)

I went to NYC in the 1980s and it was the rudest city on earth, but compared to how London is now, NY is incredibly polite.


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## jæd (Apr 8, 2008)

catrina said:


> Next day, on the way back to JFK, same situation. Nevermind the busy rush hour - person immediately offers to help me with my bag down the stairs, and wanted to make sure I was going to be OK getting it onto the train.



I've helped people do this in London, and have seen other help people like this...



catrina said:


> Once on the train, perhaps 5-7 different people explained to us where we needed to get off to get the air train. Then the announcer came on the train telling us to get off and change trains if we wanted the airport. Same people came up to us and made sure we were OK, then once back on the train counted the number of stops off for us.



If you ask in a Tube train then most people will tell you this...

London and New York, and most big cities I've been in have been fine with helping stangers... Once you ask the majority of people are helpful. There was a study the other day showing people had overly negative expectations of others in big cities...


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## editor (Apr 8, 2008)

jæd said:


> London and New York, and most big cities I've been in have been fine with helping stangers... Once you ask the majority of people are helpful. There was a study the other day showing people had overly negative expectations of others in big cities...


I'm always very polite and helpful, but there's no denying that London is far ruder these days though. And that's a real shame.



> Reader’s Digest magazine sent reporters into the principal city of each of the 35 countries in which it publishes to conduct a survey of local politeness. Three tests were employed: dropping papers in a busy street to see if anyone would help; checking how often shop assistants said “thank you”; and counting how often someone held a door open.
> 
> London and Paris came a disappointing joint 15th, beaten by such cities as Berlin, Warsaw, Madrid and Prague. New York came top in the survey, with a score of 80 per cent, compared with 57 per cent for London and Paris.



http://travel.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/travel/destinations/england/article676543.ece


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## jæd (Apr 8, 2008)

editor said:


> I'm always very polite and helpful, but there's no denying that London is far ruder these days though. And that's a real shame.
> 
> http://travel.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/travel/destinations/england/article676543.ece



Personally I'd disagree with many of those rankings... My experience of New York is that while the people may be nice, they can be quite shallow... (IMO)


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## catrina (Apr 8, 2008)

The point was we didn't ask, they just offered to help. They were shouting down the subway car making sure we were OK, and it really wasn't just one or two people, it was everyone. I've never done this in London, and have never seen anyone do this. Perhaps it was more of a hypercompetitive spirit (I can be nicer than you, ha!) rather than genuine altruism, but I'll take that over surly London commuters any day!


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## rachamim18 (Apr 12, 2008)

Well then I would seriously posit that they were either transpants themselves or out to scam you. Yeah, people CAN be right nice when asked , but the vast majority are among the rudest on Earth, sad to say.

there is a reason why people advise visitors to never make eye contact nor to strike up or engage in conversations with strangers.

I remember when I first came back to this country (born here actually but raised in Israel), must have been 24, right before heading down to Florida, and was on W.42nd St near BW/7th, the literal Times Square.

This of course was back before the area had been Disneyfied under Adolph Giuliani and it was still the Mecca of vice, a la Burroughs and Keuorac fame.

I had just walked up the stairs from the subway, trying to get my bearings and a "nice and helpful NYer" stopped to "help me." I will not bore the forum or hijack the thread but sufficient to say that I barely escaped with my wallet intact. 

Not all nice people are con artists but in a city that still has women dressed in full pre -Vatican II habits and wooden begging bowls at the bottom of subway escalators, just so they can supply their pimp with his daily fix, I would venture that NYC is not as nice as it seems, nor as changed (seen 3 days ago at GCS, 51st St /Lex escalator for anyone caring).


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## Detroit City (Apr 12, 2008)

catrina said:


> Last week we were in New York. On exiting the subway with a massive piece of luggage, the first person to pass me immediately offered to help me carry it up the large flight of steps. He didn't run off with it and steal it, just helped me carry it and wished me a very nice day.
> 
> Next day, on the way back to JFK, same situation. Nevermind the busy rush hour - person immediately offers to help me with my bag down the stairs, and wanted to make sure I was going to be OK getting it onto the train.
> 
> ...



are you a younger good-looking female?


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## wrysmile (Apr 12, 2008)

Definitely depends on your perspective. I find London a rude city and, in public, people just aren't interested in each other particularly, unless you get in someone's way. Maybe it is partly a coping mechanism as there's just so many people, but it is very alienating. 

When we went back to Australia for a holiday recently, I was struck by how well-mannered people generally, and people in the service industry, were, compared with here. I never really noticed it before I left Australia. That said, I am biased! I have only been to America briefly but found Americans to be - again - really helpful and interested people, very nice indeed. 
In the UK, many people have to know you to be nice, or to engage with you, which seems a shame, because I love random conversations with strangers. I try to make sure I have them here and there to keep my hand in, in London - but you have to pick the right people otherwise they think you're mad and are scared of you!


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## D (Apr 12, 2008)

rachamim18 said:


> Not all nice people are con artists but in a city that still has women dressed in full pre -Vatican II habits and wooden begging bowls at the bottom of subway escalators, just so they can supply their pimp with his daily fix, I would venture that NYC is not as nice as it seems, nor as changed (seen 3 days ago at GCS, 51st St /Lex escalator for anyone caring).





I never see them!



I usually take my bike, though...but I did use the 51st and Lex (53rd and 3rd and 6 train transfer spots) E train escalator this week a few times.  I'm assuming that's what you mean, since there are no escalators at 51st and Lex on the Lex/6 train side.

***

In any case, not a transplant and generally quick to help folks on the train when I have the misfortune of being on it.  I'd say that people can be right pushy assholes especially if they have to wait (gasp!) for half a second to enter the car.


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## softybabe (Apr 12, 2008)

catrina said:


> I'm American!! (i've developed a bit of an accent, but still!)



I was refering to me and my entourage


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## 1927 (Apr 12, 2008)

I think NYers are very polite, with the odd exceeption, and when there I catually find myself becoming a nicer more polite person.

rachamim is just bitter.


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## jbob (Apr 13, 2008)

rachamim18 said:


> Well then I would seriously posit that they were either transpants themselves or out to scam you. Yeah, people CAN be right nice when asked , but the vast majority are among the rudest on Earth, sad to say.



While I've always found Israelis to be amongst the most polite, friendly and respectful of people towards both the locals and fellow travellers whenever I've been overseas ...


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## zoltan (Apr 14, 2008)

When people say "New York" and go on to voice a grim experience, its often remoninscent of meeting a couple of geordies who once spent a fortnight working in London and have an equally jaundiced view of the place - I lived in Queens during the '80s, when Crack was rampaging through the US and Jackson heights was reknowned for it - but I never hand any problems, indeed enjoyed it immensely - local bars and neighburhoods where people do actually know each other

If you actually manage to get further than the city as being a Shopping desintaion for a 3 days weekend, where you live in a shitty midtown hotel and spend your time at maceys, then Its a decent and interesting place .

Theres more to NY than just Times square and the like - you wouldnt judge London from a long weeked hanging aroud the west end - both of which can exhibit an unwarranted degree of surliness

or maybe ive just been lucky


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## catrina (Apr 15, 2008)

As I said, I lived there for a short while (Upper West Side), and am fairly familiar with the city, certainly above and beyond a 3-day shopping jaunt from London. I just have never had the friendly experience I had on this particular journey. 

I still think the subway is filthy and it smells like garbage everywhere you go, but the people were friendly.


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## Poi E (Apr 16, 2008)

Hell yes. Very friendly. Chicago even more so, especially those lovely girls fresh off the lake.


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## rachamim18 (Apr 17, 2008)

1927: "Rachamim is just bitter.": Yes, you have me pegged , I AM the one who is responsible for a stereotype that predates my birth by at least a half a century.

I think what alot of it has to do with (the city's reputation, progressing from the nonsense above) is like the saying anbd song say, "NY Minute." Ny moves a mile a minute, very fast paced and many people take it to heart. If an old person stumbles and falls I wager you would see at least a few people come to their aid but if you are holding an open map and ask for directions, you may or may not have a lovely expereince.

Having travelled wide and far, I would say NYers generally are the rudest, but then it depends on perception. In HK (coming to mind having just been there 12 or 13 days ago) people will never really look you in the eye. For some people, like an Israeli or a NYer it would seem rude...If you ask a person an obvious question or bump into them though, you can bet it will not be the type of response you would find on the #4 train in NYC. They would seem nicer than most places.

Jbob: I am glad that you have found Israelis to be nice, but sadly we have a sort of deserrved reputation that makes me cringe. They say, a native born Israeli is a "Sabra" as you have probably heard. Reason being, as you also might have heard, is that the fruit, like the person, is prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside.


At home, in Israel, people can be very, very aggressuive. In the first 5 minutes you can be asked you age, martial status, number of kids, occupation, and salary without them batting an eyelash...or receive unsolcited advice on anything , from 5 different and opposing people if you ride a bus. We get used to it but alot of folks (tourists) never can. 

D: If you frequent Grand Central, usually by the escalators in front of the turnstiles for the #6. They are black and Hispanic women in full black habits and polished wooden begging bowls.

Years ago there was a big exp[ose on them, their "husband" is a fconvicted pimp and drug dealer, and they all live communaly with their hubby in a brick industrial building on the border of Bushwick and Williamsburg in Brooklyn.

Also they are found alot of times by the turnstiles of the #6 at 53rd and Lex/51st and Lex. I have been back for less than 2 weeks and have not gone down that way but asked my cousin and he says he has never noticed them so go figure. I guess people just think they are real (for the record the NY Archdiocese does not allow public begging by nuns).

Zoltan: Jackson Hts at that time was almost toally Colombian and the Indo-Pakistanbis were just beginning to come into their own. There was a tinyb bit of drugs there (remembering it was about the only place in the city where Basuco was actually sold) but it was not a drug retailing area (a  wholesale it sure was and that as you must know is an understatement).

I came to NYC 4 times in the mid80s to 1990 and in this nieghbourhood, Mott Haven in the S. BX is was buckwild as they say. Still is relatively speaking but nothing like it was then. This after all was the street where Tango and Cash happened for those that can remember.


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## Poi E (Apr 18, 2008)

rachamim18 said:


> Ny moves a mile a minute, very fast paced and many people take it to heart. .



I've visited a few times for work and pleasure, but Manhattan has never struck me as having the sheer balls and pressure that the City has.


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## D (Apr 18, 2008)

Poi E said:


> I've visited a few times for work and pleasure, but Manhattan has never struck me as having the sheer balls and pressure that the City has.



Can you say more about that?


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## rachamim18 (Apr 18, 2008)

Poi: What city are you referring to though? Here in NYC, the "city" means Manhattan. For example, in Borrklyn, people say they are "going into the city" if they are heading into Manhattan...unless you are referring to London?

I was in London myself, twice, many years ago and did not find it nearly as congested or fast but then that os just ,my own impression. Still, NYC is stereotyped just so so maybe others think it as well.


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## Rainingstairs (May 20, 2008)

Americans are polite mostly. New Yorkers being the rudest of the bunch


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## MightyAphrodite (May 20, 2008)

jæd said:


> Personally I'd disagree with many of those rankings... My experience of New York is that while the people may be nice, they can be quite shallow... (IMO)



i think youll find thats a human trait not a new yorker trait.


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## D (May 20, 2008)

rachamim18 said:


> Poi: What city are you referring to though? Here in NYC, the "city" means Manhattan. For example, in Borrklyn, people say they are "going into the city" if they are heading into Manhattan...unless you are referring to London?
> 
> I was in London myself, twice, many years ago and did not find it nearly as congested or fast but then that os just ,my own impression. Still, NYC is stereotyped just so so maybe others think it as well.



Poi E was, I imagine, referring to the City (as in the area of London known as "the City" - you know, like "Wall Street" or "the financial district").


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