# Have I Got News For You.....Oh dear!



## Ponyutd (Oct 4, 2013)

Blimey, that was hard work. Time to bring smug bollocks Deayton back?


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## binka (Oct 4, 2013)

awful. worst thing i have ever watched. everything about it was shit with the possible exception of the photo of the bloke in the word tit. is danny baker supposed to be funny? don't eat yellow snow fucking hell


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## DexterTCN (Oct 4, 2013)

It's been terrible for quite a while


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## binka (Oct 4, 2013)

DexterTCN said:


> It's been terrible for quite a while


at leats ten years. paul merton has to be the luckiest man  on tv - forty grand an episode according to the daily mail which i have no reason to disbelieve


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## Ponyutd (Oct 4, 2013)

It has been rotten for a while I'll agree...but that was just piss poor.


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## TheHoodedClaw (Oct 4, 2013)

binka said:


> at leats ten years. paul merton has to be the luckiest man  on tv - forty grand an episode according to the daily mail which i have no reason to disbelieve



You can find no reason to disbelieve the Mail about the pay of someone that appears on the BBC? How charmingly innocent of you. 

HIGNFY has been shit for years, mind.


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## binka (Oct 4, 2013)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> You can find no reason to disbelieve the Mail about the pay of someone that appears on the BBC? How charmingly innocent of you.
> 
> HIGNFY has been shit for years, mind.


well obviously i was being facaetious but if alan hansen was getting over 1mil a year for match of the day i can easy imagine mertons salary being in the multi tens of thousands per episode.


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## binka (Oct 4, 2013)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> HIGNFY has been shit for years, mind.


it's actually more shit than qi now which is some achievement


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## bi0boy (Oct 4, 2013)

I think I last watched it in 1999


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## Mungy (Oct 4, 2013)

that was a particularly poor episode. the thing is, the news this week has been especially unfunny. austerity, lies and rightwing bollocks just isn't funny anymore, if ever it was. this poverty is real, it bites, it fucking hurts. this massive elephant in the room makes it difficult to produce really funny moments on a satirical current affairs programme. 

poor danny seemed all at sea.


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## kittyP (Oct 4, 2013)

I don't like Danny Baker and it does have poor episodes but it's still better than a lot of shit on TV. 

And I love QI so you will probably just disregard my opinion


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## Nine Bob Note (Oct 4, 2013)

I don't have a problem with Danny Baker (and I'm suprised to hear that other urbanites do  ) but I can't disagree re Merton - fucks sake, I look more interested when I turn up at my shitty £6.50 p/h job than he's done for the past ten years.

The series should have opened with one of the established favourites - that is Armstrong, Clunes or Young.


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## Frances Lengel (Oct 4, 2013)

It's shite but at least that wanker isn't on it, the fuck's his name? That horrible looking wanker who it turns my stomach just to look at - I've tried googling that but no joy. Not Stephen Fry though.


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## harpo (Oct 4, 2013)

Frances Lengel said:


> It's shite but at least that wanker isn't on it, the fuck's his name? That horrible looking wanker who it turns my stomach just to look at - I've tried googling that but no joy. Not Stephen Fry though.


Jimmy Carr?


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## Frances Lengel (Oct 4, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I don't have a problem with Danny Baker (and I'm suprised to hear that other urbanites do  ) but I can't disagree re Merton - fucks sake, I look more interested when I turn up at my shitty £6.50 p/h job than he's done for the past ten years.
> 
> The series should have opened with one of the established favourites - that is Armstrong, Clunes or Young.



Clunes is a guy who I rate as an actor -He convinced as an oafish type in Men behaving badly, but he also convinced in that Mr Chips film he was in - The guy's versatile.


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## Frances Lengel (Oct 4, 2013)

harpo said:


> Jimmy Carr?



No that halfway gothic looking twat who I can't stand.


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## harpo (Oct 4, 2013)

Frances Lengel said:


> No that halfway gothic looking twat who I can't stand.


Oh aye.  Noel something?


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## zoooo (Oct 4, 2013)

Ross Noble?


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## kittyP (Oct 4, 2013)

harpo said:
			
		

> Oh aye.  Noel something?



Noel Fielding


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## Ranbay (Oct 4, 2013)

harpo said:


> Oh aye.  Noel something?


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## ash (Oct 4, 2013)

Noel fielding?


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## kittyP (Oct 4, 2013)

Noel Fielding?


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## kittyP (Oct 4, 2013)

Noel Fielding.....


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## Frances Lengel (Oct 4, 2013)

kittyP said:


> Noel Fielding



That's the wanker. God I can't stand him. FFS I sound like my grandad - He used to get wound up off what people looked like on the telly & now I've turned into the twat.


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## zoooo (Oct 4, 2013)

I like Noel. I think he's only been on QI once.
Ross Noble is on every bloody week now.


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## kittyP (Oct 4, 2013)

Frances Lengel said:
			
		

> That's the wanker. God I can't stand him. FFS I sound like my grandad - He used to get wound up off what people looked like on the telly & now I've turned into the twat.



I quite fancy him 

I better get off this thread before someone takes a hit out on me.


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## littlebabyjesus (Oct 4, 2013)

Mungy said:


> that was a particularly poor episode. the thing is, the news this week has been especially unfunny. austerity, lies and rightwing bollocks just isn't funny anymore, if ever it was. this poverty is real, it bites, it fucking hurts. this massive elephant in the room makes it difficult to produce really funny moments on a satirical current affairs programme.
> 
> poor danny seemed all at sea.


It's satire's job to expose hypocrisy, no? There's been buckekloads of that this week.


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## Garek (Oct 4, 2013)

littlebabyjesus said:


> It's satire's job to expose hypocrisy, no? There's been buckekloads of that this week.



Yes and no. I find it hard to take satire seriously in this country given how cosy it is in this country.


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## littlebabyjesus (Oct 4, 2013)

Garek said:


> Yes and no. I find it hard to take satire seriously in this country given how cosy it is in this country.


Well yes. And Hislop is a prime example of that cosiness. He is a friend to power nowadays, and has been for a while.


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## Puddy_Tat (Oct 5, 2013)

very occasionally paul merton makes an effort, and it's worth watching.  more often than not he doesn't


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## littlebabyjesus (Oct 5, 2013)

Puddy_Tat said:


> very occasionally paul merton makes an effort, and it's worth watching.  more often than not he doesn't


He's better on the radio nowadays. He often looks like he'd rather be anywhere else on this show - guess the money's too good and too easy to earn for him to stop.


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## at_large (Oct 5, 2013)

kittyP said:


> I quite fancy him



why does that not surprise me....

fantasise away why not.


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## kittyP (Oct 5, 2013)

When we went to see it being recorded, Merton was brilliant in between takes. 
Cameras would stop while they sorted something out and he would just take off and was highly entertaining. 
This happened both times we went.


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## kittyP (Oct 5, 2013)

at_large said:
			
		

> why does that not surprise me....
> 
> fantasise away why not.



Why would it surprise you or not? 
I have no idea who you are


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## ska invita (Oct 5, 2013)

binka said:


> at leats ten years. paul merton has to be the luckiest man  on tv - forty grand an episode according to the daily mail which i have no reason to disbelieve


agreed. well past its sell by date. gave up on it a few years ago now. theres just no sense of tension on it. toothless satire


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## littlebabyjesus (Oct 5, 2013)

kittyP said:


> When we went to see it being recorded, Merton was brilliant in between takes.
> Cameras would stop while they sorted something out and he would just take off and was highly entertaining.
> This happened both times we went.


Even though he's usually the best thing on it, I don't think he's a particularly good fit for the show. He doesn't seem interested in satire much - and prefers just being silly.


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## DotCommunist (Oct 5, 2013)

Clunes is responsible for that POS series where he plays the sane world weary doctor in a village of wacky eccentric country people

waste of my time.


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## Frances Lengel (Oct 5, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> Clunes is responsible for that POS series where he plays the sane world weary doctor in a village of wacky eccentric country people
> 
> waste of my time.



He's a decent actor in that as well.

Clunes's penis > God's penis.


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## Ponyutd (Oct 5, 2013)

Frances Lengel said:


> That's the wanker. God I can't stand him. FFS I sound like my grandad - He used to get wound up off what people looked like on the telly & now I've turned into the twat.


My other half told me her Nan couldn't stand Harold Wilson. If he came on the telly she would put a tea towel over the screen.


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## DrRingDing (Oct 5, 2013)

McPrickface though


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## weltweit (Oct 5, 2013)

I could have sworn I used to catch this on a Friday night. Tonight we didn't eat till late and I only switched the TV on at about 11pm so I missed it. Well perhaps that is lucky.

I did catch the end of Under Siege with Tommy Lee Jones, I like TLJ, he made up for the fact that Steven Seagal is in the lead, I normally find Seagal films dull beyond measure but TLJ makes it eminently watchable.

And I have to say that large American warships just are sexy, and there was a good role for Gary Busey. He does a good nutter:


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## DotCommunist (Oct 5, 2013)

His equally ugly son was cracking in Starship Troopers


for me, Under Siege only ranks as a decent action film because of the final knife fight metween tommy and fatso


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## weltweit (Oct 5, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> for me, Under Siege only ranks as a decent action film because of the final knife fight metween tommy and fatso


I am not sure I like it for the action, the knife fight didn't really butter my bread, I think for me the military / navy technology / tension / the war room etc .. was more exciting.


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## at_large (Oct 5, 2013)

kittyP said:


> Why would it surprise you or not?
> I have no idea who you are



nor i you but
i have read a bit...


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## kittyP (Oct 5, 2013)

at_large said:
			
		

> nor i you but
> i have read a bit...


Read a bit about what?


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## at_large (Oct 5, 2013)

stuff and things.


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## binka (Oct 5, 2013)

kittyP said:


> And I love QI so you will probably just disregard my opinion


the stephen fry lectures where stephen fry and four mates sit around seeing who can be smuggest? apparently phil jupitus has been on it 30 times!


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## binka (Oct 5, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I don't have a problem with Danny Baker (and I'm suprised to hear that other urbanites do  )


i've always heard people rating danny baker. i've never listened to him on the radio and the only things i've seen him on are these sorts of pannel shows - he was on the new room 101 recently, ive seen him on qi, shooting stars and have i got news for you and i can't remember ever thinking he was funny. just remember he did actually say 'dont eat yellow snow' last night - i rest my case


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## binka (Oct 5, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> The series should have opened with one of the established favourites - that is Armstrong, Clunes or Young.


oxford, cambridge... or hull

to be fair the problem is not the presenter - even though the majority of his scripted lines were terrible david mitchell was by far the least shit thing about last night's episode


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## emanymton (Oct 5, 2013)

binka said:


> i've always heard people rating danny baker. i've never listened to him on the radio and the only things i've seen him on are these sorts of pannel shows - he was on the new room 101 recently, ive seen him on qi, shooting stars and have i got news for you and i can't remember ever thinking he was funny. just remember he did actually say 'dont eat yellow snow' last night - i rest my case


He has always struck me as an utter tosser, and nothing he has ever done has altered that opinion one bit. I mean he hosted win lose or draw!


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## binka (Oct 5, 2013)

emanymton said:


> He has always struck me as an utter tosser, and nothing he has ever done has altered that opinion one bit. I mean he hosted win lose or draw!


i'm not sure he's a tosser, at least by tv standards - he did speak up in defence of people signing on. he's just not funny.


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## jakethesnake (Oct 5, 2013)

emanymton said:


> He has always struck me as an utter tosser, and nothing he has ever done has altered that opinion one bit. I mean he hosted win lose or draw!


I remember him doing a very sneery documentary on Channel 4 about the working class, kept going on about 'the tattooed tribe'... about 20 years ago, I can't remember the thrust of his argument but do remember feeling patronised. Yeah, tosser imo.


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## emanymton (Oct 5, 2013)

binka said:


> i'm not sure he's a tosser, at least by tv standards - he did speak up in defence of people signing on. he's just not funny.


He probably just recognises that if there was any justice in the world he would be joining them.


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## susie12 (Oct 5, 2013)

I thought he was dire and I don't think he'll be invited again.


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## spanglechick (Oct 5, 2013)

binka said:


> the stephen fry lectures where stephen fry and four mates sit around seeing who can be smuggest? apparently phil jupitus has been on it 30 times!


At least Jupitus isn't Oxbridge, nor any university at all.  Came up through red wedge and the music side.


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## Mungy (Oct 5, 2013)

littlebabyjesus said:


> It's satire's job to expose hypocrisy, no? There's been buckekloads of that this week.


the big stories this week are not funny though. and making jokes about this weeks hypo in the room is akin to impotent frustration. perhaps better satirists would have been able to pull one off. either way tissues were required.


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## joustmaster (Oct 5, 2013)

binka said:


> i've always heard people rating danny baker. i've never listened to him on the radio and the only things i've seen him on are these sorts of pannel shows - he was on the new room 101 recently, ive seen him on qi, shooting stars and have i got news for you and i can't remember ever thinking he was funny. just remember he did actually say 'dont eat yellow snow' last night - i rest my case


i've never found him remotely funny either.

I am considering buying some daz though..


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## xenon (Oct 5, 2013)

kittyP said:


> I don't like Danny Baker and it does have poor episodes but it's still better than a lot of shit on TV.
> 
> And I love QI so you will probably just disregard my opinion



I like QI to. Danny Baker used to really grate on me. Not so much now. He's a decent bloke but not funny or political enough for this sort of thing. I haven't seen last night's though. he's been on before IIRC.


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## xenon (Oct 5, 2013)

littlebabyjesus said:


> He's better on the radio nowadays. He often looks like he'd rather be anywhere else on this show - guess the money's too good and too easy to earn for him to stop.




Sometimes seems he's sulking or seething with distane when he gets paired up with some media twonk or comedy Tory.


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## xenon (Oct 5, 2013)

binka said:


> the stephen fry lectures where stephen fry and four mates sit around seeing who can be smuggest? apparently phil jupitus has been on it 30 times!



It's only Fry that does the smug thing. Anyway I'm a sucker for random facts.


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## binka (Oct 5, 2013)

spanglechick said:


> At least Jupitus isn't Oxbridge, nor any university at all.  Came up through red wedge and the music side.


that's true i suppose - just a shame he isn't very funny. why do they have to have the same faces on again and again? phil jupitus 30 times - probably paid off a fair chunk of his mortgage!


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## binka (Oct 5, 2013)

xenon said:


> It's only Fry that does the smug thing. Anyway I'm a sucker for random facts.


yeah i think fry's smugness envelops the whole show... until someone accidentally says something funny then alan does a mime


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## weltweit (Oct 5, 2013)

Thing is, some of the QI "facts" can be disputed, for example the one that said:

Half the people that ever lived died of mosquitos?

Disputed even on QI's own forums:
http://old.qi.com/talk/viewtopic.php?t=19895&start=0&sid=e296b35bd626234be22309bba6a893d2


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## belboid (Oct 5, 2013)

the claim the other week that rising damp doesn't really exist is utter rubbish, according to the vast majority of structural engineers and the like


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## binka (Oct 5, 2013)

belboid said:


> the claim the other week that rising damp doesn't really exist is utter rubbish, according to the vast majority of structural engineers and the like


what do they call them? qi elves? no different to people who debate on the internet without really knowing what they are talking about just relying on google and repeating something that might sound like it is right. what im getting at is people who love qi are no better than holocaust deniers


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## kittyP (Oct 5, 2013)

at_large said:


> stuff and things.



HA, what did he get banned for?


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## gentlegreen (Oct 5, 2013)

Returner (underurnose)


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## zoooo (Oct 5, 2013)

emanymton said:


> He has always struck me as an utter tosser, and nothing he has ever done has altered that opinion one bit. I mean he hosted win lose or draw!


I liked Win Lose or Draw.


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## emanymton (Oct 5, 2013)

But then you got better?


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## Favelado (Oct 5, 2013)

I think Danny Baker is a nasty, unfunny man and I don't know how his radio shows or anything else have ever got any acclaim. His supposedly excellent anecdotes on chat show appearances leave me dead cold too. I can't stand him.

The thing is though, most urbanites have got some taste and they like him. Some good friends of mine who I'd normally agree with like him too. So, maybe I'm missing something.

My opinion of him wasn't helped when he started making references to the IRA's success in fundraising in Boston minutes after the marathon bomb went off there.


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## emanymton (Oct 5, 2013)

Isn't he mares with Chris Evans? I can't think of clearer evidence that someone is a grade A tosser than that.

Also I have just read that their is a rumour he contributed to Bob marley's death by standing on his foot during a football match, although apparently it isn't true. I am choosing to ignore the not true part.

The bastard killed Bob Morley!


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## zoooo (Oct 5, 2013)

I know I liked Danny Baker in the 90s. But I don't even know what show/s I was seeing him on then. Big Breakfast or something?? Probably not.



emanymton said:


> But then you got better?


NEVER!
I'm sure there's some new version happening with Mel Giedroyc, actually.


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## fishfinger (Oct 5, 2013)

Danny Baker also killed the mars bar!  "new mars" pah! 

I remember when mars' were solid, substantial, bars of yummy badness. Confectionery delights you needed teeth to properly enjoy  - Now, they're limp bags of sugary pus dipped in chocolate 

Thank-you Danny "Mars Murderer" Baker


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## billy_bob (Oct 6, 2013)

emanymton said:


> Isn't he mares with Chris Evans? I can't think of clearer evidence that someone is a grade A tosser than that.
> 
> Also I have just read that their is a rumour he contributed to Bob marley's death by standing on his foot during a football match, although apparently it isn't true. I am choosing to ignore the not true part.
> 
> The bastard killed Bob Morley!



I'm not a big Danny Baker fan, but I'm fairly sure Bob Marley didn't die of a sore foot.


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## bouncer_the_dog (Oct 7, 2013)

I for one agree that Under Siege is way more entertaining than HIGNFY which hasn't been funny since Brian Blessed did the Gordon's Alive joke


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## cesare (Oct 7, 2013)

billy_bob said:


> I'm not a big Danny Baker fan, but I'm fairly sure Bob Marley didn't die of a sore foot.


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## chandlerp (Oct 7, 2013)

weltweit said:


> I could have sworn I used to catch this on a Friday night. Tonight we didn't eat till late and I only switched the TV on at about 11pm so I missed it. Well perhaps that is lucky.
> 
> I did catch the end of Under Siege with Tommy Lee Jones, I like TLJ, he made up for the fact that Steven Seagal is in the lead, I normally find Seagal films dull beyond measure but TLJ makes it eminently watchable.
> 
> And I have to say that large American warships just are sexy, and there was a good role for Gary Busey. He does a good nutter:


Busey isnt acting the nutter though.  He is a bona fide headcase


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## Ungrateful (Oct 7, 2013)

HIGNFY has certainly had no satirical edge for over a decade... but at least it's not _Mock the Weak_. It too had satirical ambitions when it started _ Iseem toremember it had Mark Steel, Linda Smith (RIP) and Rory Bremner. Even Frankie Boyle's dark humour had a biting edge. Now it's just who can make a laddish quip which is somehow distantly related to a tabloid news story, which wasn't even news in the first place. Even the panellists seem to be embarrassed by the levels of repetition and lack of originality.


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## billy_bob (Oct 7, 2013)

Ungrateful said:


> HIGNFY has certainly had no satirical edge for over a decade... but at least it's not _Mock the Weak_. It too had satirical ambitions when it started _ Iseem toremember it had Mark Steel, Linda Smith (RIP) and Rory Bremner. Even Frankie Boyle's dark humour had a biting edge. Now it's just who can make a laddish quip which is somehow distantly related to a tabloid news story, which wasn't even news in the first place. Even the panellists seem to be embarrassed by the levels of repetition and lack of originality.



It amazes and depresses me that Susan Boyle not being very pretty is regarded as funny by anyone other than 9-year-old boys.  I like Stewart Lee's material about Russell Howard's complicity in the humour of bullying and shaming that Mock the Week seems to specialise in - the fact that it's almost worse than being an out-and-out shithead to just sit there smirking and trying to look disapproving at the same time, while someone sitting next to you is being a shithead.  Like you say, these days it looks like they *all* feel like that when one of the others is speaking.


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## weltweit (Oct 7, 2013)

chandlerp said:


> Busey isnt acting the nutter though.  He is a bona fide headcase


Are you being serious? any links ??


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## Casually Red (Oct 7, 2013)

Frances Lengel said:


> That's the wanker. God I can't stand him. FFS I sound like my grandad - He used to get wound up off what people looked like on the telly & now I've turned into the twat.



i cant see the point of that bollox at all . Some  years back i remember him and Russell brand were on some quiz shit Jimmy Carr was hosting . They were desperate for some extra points and offered to procure Carr any 2 women he fancied from Camden for the night if he gave them extra points . There wasny any punchline, it was a straight up offer .

im always shoutin at the telly, generally at twats like that or boybands . Or everything really, X factor, the news

danny bakers a cunt


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## Casually Red (Oct 7, 2013)

Ungrateful said:


> HIGNFY has certainly had no satirical edge for over a decade... but at least it's not _Mock the Weak_. It too had satirical ambitions when it started _ Iseem toremember it had Mark Steel, Linda Smith (RIP) and Rory Bremner. Even Frankie Boyle's dark humour had a biting edge. Now it's just who can make a laddish quip which is somehow distantly related to a tabloid news story, which wasn't even news in the first place. Even the panellists seem to be embarrassed by the levels of repetition and lack of originality.



why do the fucking audience laugh when its just not funny . Theres caption stuff thats so not funny its obvious theyre not trying..but the audience forces itself to laugh anyway almost out of embarassment for them


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## pesh (Oct 7, 2013)

billy_bob said:


> I'm not a big Danny Baker fan, but I'm fairly sure Bob Marley didn't die of a sore foot.


he did you know...

cancer of the toe... discovered after a football injury and it spread due to him refusing to get it amputated.


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## Casually Red (Oct 7, 2013)

whats the name of that thin Irish bollox whos always on it


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## chandlerp (Oct 7, 2013)

weltweit said:


> Are you being serious? any links ??


His mental illness is well documented.  He suffered serious brain damage following a motorcycle accident in 1988 which causes his "eccentric" behaviour.  He was removed from Celebrity Apprentice due to his increasing aggression and the producers were accused of exploiting his mental illness.

I have no links in particular but a google for Gary Busey mental illness will tell you all you need.


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## cesare (Oct 7, 2013)

Casually Red said:


> whats the name of that thin Irish bollox whos always on it


Ed Byrne?


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## Casually Red (Oct 7, 2013)

cesare said:


> Ed Byrne?



hes such a dick. First time i ever clapped eyes on him he was attention seeking on that godawful Blind Date with cilla black . That was the period when i pretty much started shouting at the telly. Hes still fucking on it .


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## cesare (Oct 7, 2013)

Casually Red said:


> hes such a dick. First time i ever clapped eyes on him he was attention seeking on that godawful Blind Date with cilla black . That was the period when i pretty much started shouting at the telly. Hes still fucking on it .


He's not as bad as that creepy fucker, Jimmy Carr, though!


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## Casually Red (Oct 7, 2013)

it depends what you mean by bad


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## emanymton (Oct 7, 2013)

cesare said:


> He's not as bad as that creepy fucker, Jimmy Carr, though!


But to be fair that's a bit like saying, he's not as bad as having your eye balls scooped out with a rusty teaspoon.


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## cesare (Oct 7, 2013)

Casually Red said:


> it depends what you mean by bad


Well on a scale of 1 to 10 Byrne's probably 5 with Carr being 10 for cringe-inducing.


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## Casually Red (Oct 7, 2013)

carr was still never a failed date reject on blind date.


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## cesare (Oct 7, 2013)

Casually Red said:


> carr was still never a failed date reject on blind date.


He'd never have got on that show.


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## Casually Red (Oct 7, 2013)

they always had freak candidates, byrne being one .


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## emanymton (Oct 7, 2013)

Why where you even watching blind date?


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## spanglechick (Oct 7, 2013)

ed byrne is fit.


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## DotCommunist (Oct 7, 2013)

I didn't know blind date was still going. In fact I thought Cilla was dead!


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## kittyP (Oct 7, 2013)

binka said:
			
		

> what do they call them? qi elves? no different to people who debate on the internet without really knowing what they are talking about just relying on google and repeating something that might sound like it is right. what im getting at is people who love qi are no better than holocaust deniers





Ffs


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## kittyP (Oct 7, 2013)

emanymton said:
			
		

> Why where you even watching blind date?



Innit


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## kittyP (Oct 7, 2013)

DotCommunist said:
			
		

> I didn't know blind date was still going. In fact I thought Cilla was dead!



It's not still going is it? 

Cilla and her pins are alive and well.


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## Stigmata (Oct 8, 2013)

It got replaced with that thing that's even worse. Starring Paddy McGuiness


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## billy_bob (Oct 8, 2013)

pesh said:


> he did you know...
> 
> cancer of the toe... discovered after a football injury and it spread due to him refusing to get it amputated.



<googles>

Blimey, mea culpa.  I love ska and reggae, I've read plenty of books about it, and watched dozens of documentaries that at least touch on Marley and his biography, and somehow that fact had evaded me.


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## xenon (Oct 8, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> It got replaced with that thing that's even worse. Starring Paddy McGuiness




 I harbour  an entirely disproportunet rageful hate for  that pointless gobshite bastard.


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## DexterTCN (Oct 11, 2013)

xenon said:


> I harbour  an entirely disproportunet rageful hate for  that pointless gobshite bastard.


Actually the pointless bastard was quite good tonight.

I've realised..Merton needs to go.  Hignfy desperately needs new blood.  Mark Steel will do as a permanent for starters.


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## Casually Red (Oct 11, 2013)

emanymton said:


> Why where you even watching blind date?



shared house, bastards all watched it . Religiously .


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## Casually Red (Oct 11, 2013)

spanglechick said:


> ed byrne is fit.


fit for a good slap


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## emanymton (Oct 12, 2013)

Casually Red said:


> shared house, bastards all watched it . Religiously .


In which case you should be glad of the ghost you have now instead.


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## krtek a houby (Oct 12, 2013)

emanymton said:


> Isn't he mares with Chris Evans? I can't think of clearer evidence that someone is a grade A tosser than that.
> 
> Also I have just read that their is a rumour he contributed to Bob marley's death by standing on his foot during a football match, although apparently it isn't true. I am choosing to ignore the not true part.
> 
> The bastard killed Bob Morley!


 
eh?


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## binka (Oct 18, 2013)

is it meant to be satire? they did a bit on american politics when not one of them knows anything about it. painful stuff.


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## Pickman's model (Oct 18, 2013)

binka said:


> is it meant to be satire? they did a bit on american politics when not one of them knows anything about it. painful stuff.


disappointing


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## binka (Oct 18, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> disappointing


i like seeing how shit it is and in that sense i was anything but disappointed


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## DexterTCN (Oct 18, 2013)

The first one of this series was terrible.  I mean I considered never watching it again.  The last two were at least quite funny, but 'quite funny' isn't really good enough is it?   

The only satire worth shit these days is The Daily Show.   Mark Thomas and Mark Steel, they should be the regulars on hignfy.  Or someone like that.  Quite funny?  Fuck off?


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## T & P (Oct 18, 2013)

Used to be a big fan for many years, but admittedly it gets crappier every series. Long gone are the years of tubs of lard sitting in for flouncing guests, or the first time Boris Johnson hosted an episode (a classic). Probably time to let it go.


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## billy_bob (Oct 19, 2013)

DexterTCN said:


> The first one of this series was terrible.  I mean I considered never watching it again.  The last two were at least quite funny, but 'quite funny' isn't really good enough is it?
> 
> The only satire worth shit these days is The Daily Show.   Mark Thomas and Mark Steel, they should be the regulars on hignfy.  Or someone like that.  Quite funny?  Fuck off?



You're right, it got slightly better, but just barely.  The whole business in the second one with a moth in the studio - _a MOTH in the STUDIO _- and out of everything they'd filmed, five minutes of _that _was worth leaving in? Fucksake.....


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## youngian (Nov 9, 2013)

This week HIGNFY in its wisdom decided to invite obnoxious bigot Godfrey Bloom who managed to show himself up as an even bigger slimy disgusting weasel than his previous efforts. Victoria Coren was invited on to play the uppity modern woman to banter with 'character' Bloom. Fair goes to her for not playing ball after 10 minutes.


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## Nine Bob Note (Nov 9, 2013)

youngian said:


> This week HIGNFY in its wisdom decided to invite obnoxious bigot Godfrey Bloom who managed to show himself up as an even bigger slimy disgusting weasel than his previous efforts. Victoria Coren was invited on to play the uppity modern woman to banter with 'character' Bloom. Fair goes to her for not playing ball after 10 minutes.



Coren was seriously boring me. Bloom's usual racism, 'sluts' and starve the poor schtick is one thing, but apparently he had a stripper on his stag night - the fiend!!


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## Maurice Picarda (Nov 9, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Coren was seriously boring me. Bloom's usual racism, 'sluts' and starve the poor schtick is one thing, but apparently he had a stripper on his stag night - the fiend!!



Sorry, Coren was complaining about strippers?


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## binka (Oct 10, 2014)

still shit


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## billy_bob (Oct 11, 2014)

So much is down to the host.  Jennifer Saunders was intolerably smug (as you would be, I suppose, if you'd built a lucrative career as a comedian when you're _that _fucking unfunny), Sue Perkins less so but not significantly (ditto....)

And Merton being allowed to hawk his merch? Fuck off.


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## DotCommunist (Oct 11, 2014)

mertons been phoning it in for the last decade. And not just on HIGNFY


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## maomao (Oct 11, 2014)

I'm not claiming it's good but I established my right to be left alone to drink beer during it early on in my marriage and like to exercise that right whenever possible. The Lenin in Poland joke had me laughing out loud last night though, was thinking of putting it on the new jokes thread despite it obviously not being new.


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## billy_bob (Oct 11, 2014)

Yeah, I chuckled at that - but it was Merton doing 'material' rather than actually participating in the show.  Importing jokes from elsewhere is often the only way he can wring anything funny out of his presence there these days.


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## PoorButNotAChav (Oct 11, 2014)

There have only been two episodes of series 48 but it could be shaping up to be the worst ever series of Have I Got News For You.

It's supposed to be a topical satirical news quiz so what is the point of booking comedians who have shown little or no interest in performing topical satirical news-based comedy like Tony Law who's good at what he normally does but is completely unsuited to HIGNFY?  Nick Hewer came out with his drunken dotty uncle shtick again and the section about Putin (the bloke in the bad paintings who annexed Crimea and is helping rebels in Eastern Ukraine where a passenger plane was shot down this summer) shows how the producers, writers and guests lack satirical ambition.  Armando Iannucci wasn't much use because he's better as a producer, writer or presenter than he is as a guest.  Peter Bone is an MP who was brought on to be humiliated (which is typical of HIGNFY) and can't contribute much comedy of his own because he's not got the talent or desire.  Ian Hislop is a smug, sanctimonious, self-serving has-been, Paul Merton is only on the show for what he can get out of it (money and free plugs for his latest project) and the hosts are usually hamstrung by awful jokes, trivial questions and a lack of comic talent and when someone does try to produce biting satire the studio audience boo.  Meanwhile, there's no satire worthy of the description on TV or radio.

Have I Got News For You needs to be destroyed.


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## weltweit (Oct 11, 2014)

Blimey. If you don't like it, don't watch it!

I watch it because I enjoy it.


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## PoorButNotAChav (Oct 11, 2014)

I used to like Have I Got News For You.  I used to think it was one of the best programmes on TV.  I used to think it was sharp-witted and hard-hitting topical satire.  However, since it moved to BBC1, the BBC became scared of satire and the show's researchers discovered YouTube it has become a toothless, witless, cowardly parody of its former self.  The BBC is spending millions of pounds a year on a supposedly satirical show which contains almost no satire.

Have I Got News For You needs to be destroyed so the time and money it wastes can be used to try to produce sharp-witted and hard-hitting topical satire.


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## billy_bob (Oct 11, 2014)

PoorButNotAChav said:


> I used to like Have I Got News For You.  I used to think it was one of the best programmes on TV.  I used to think it was sharp-witted and hard-hitting topical satire.  However, since it moved to BBC1, the BBC became scared of satire and the show's researchers discovered YouTube it has become a toothless, witless, cowardly parody of its former self.  The BBC is spending millions of pounds a year on a supposedly satirical show which contains almost no satire.
> 
> Have I Got News For You needs to be destroyed so the time and money it wastes can be used to try to produce sharp-witted and hard-hitting topical satire.



Like the Now Show.  No... wait....


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## Mrs Miggins (Oct 11, 2014)

HIGNFY is awful these days as it's just too safe. I wonder if the whole scripted panel show format is outdated. Things like The Thick of It and Veep hit the mark much better IMO. Fucking Mock the Week is absolutely dire. That bloke with the messy hair and the jazzy shirts who does the "surreal" one liners pisses me off the most. Miles something is it?? And don't get me started on the bald one with the goatee. Christ.

I think the problem with QI now is that the panelists know how to play the game. When it first started, they would answer with the things they genuinely thought to be true and find out they were not. Nobody does that any more because they know the claxon will go off so all the fun has gone out of it. I still watch it though because I love random facts and I adore Stephen Fry.


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## DexterTCN (Oct 11, 2014)

Like DC said...Merton has to go.   Bring in Mark Steel or if not, anyone.  Roisin Connarty.


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## Awesome Wells (Oct 12, 2014)

Mrs Miggins said:


> HIGNFY is awful these days as it's just too safe. I wonder if the whole scripted panel show format is outdated. Things like The Thick of It and Veep hit the mark much better IMO. Fucking Mock the Week is absolutely dire. That bloke with the messy hair and the jazzy shirts who does the "surreal" one liners pisses me off the most. Miles something is it?? And don't get me started on the bald one with the goatee. Christ.
> 
> I think the problem with QI now is that the panelists know how to play the game. When it first started, they would answer with the things they genuinely thought to be true and find out they were not. Nobody does that any more because they know the claxon will go off so all the fun has gone out of it. I still watch it though because I love random facts and I adore Stephen Fry.


Mock the Week is just a private joke session between Dara and Ed Byrne. Then one of the other comics noone has heard of will make a close to the knuckle joke that everyone will smugly laugh at...because they are comedians. Then there's the token pun guy sat next to Hugh Dennis. Then there's the obligatory round where Hugh Dennis impersonates Prince Charles/Prince Philip (interchangeably).


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## paolo (Oct 12, 2014)

Key difference - many people here know this - HIGNFY isn't scripted (barring the host).

Mock the Week OTOH is an abomination of set pieces in the style of improvisation. Yick. It's cheese 'slices' vs. real cheese.


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## chandlerp (Oct 12, 2014)

Another key difference: Mock The Week has never been funny.  Ever.


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## Mrs Miggins (Oct 12, 2014)

paolo said:


> Key difference - many people here know this - HIGNFY isn't scripted (barring the host).


I didn't know that. Do the panelists not even have the questions in advance? I'd always assumed there was a basic script (where they all at least know the answers) with room for improvisation.


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## paolo (Oct 12, 2014)

Mrs Miggins said:


> I didn't know that. Do the panelists not even have the questions in advance? I'd always assumed there was a basic script (where they all at least know the answers) with room for improvisation.



Important point you have - the panelists _do_ see the questions in advance. ISTR an interview where this was revealed, possibly with Merton, and he said (fair enough) they initially tried the show without doing that but there were some stories where the panellists had no knowledge of at all and were stuck for anything appropriate to say. So they changed the structure.

Beyond that there is no scripting of the panellists.

When you're a comedy bore like I am, scripted 'improv' stands out like a sore thumb. There's no flow, no riff. Mock the Week is truly awful.


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## PoorButNotAChav (Oct 12, 2014)

Mock The Week can be funny but half of the show (the stand-up challenge round and Scenes We'd Like To See) isn't topical and the other half isn't hard-hitting.  It's not been as good since Frankie Boyle left and he was right about the show not covering enough major news stories (and the same accusation could be made about Have I Got News For You).  Mock The Week is competitive comedians showing off and sometimes it works well but it's not likely to scare politicians.

The panel show boom has been a disaster for comedy but if you want hard-hitting satire you're not likely to get it on a panel show.  Hard-hitting satire depends on knowledge, research and passion about important news stories and issues and you're not going to get them from comedians booked for a half-hour semi-improvised comedy quiz shoehorned between stand-up gigs and presenting work.  The best satire has tended to come from shows where the writing is the most important aspect of the show.

A satirical panel show is like a gourmet burger: it might have better ingredients than other burgers but it's still a burger.


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## belboid (Oct 12, 2014)

Ed Miliband necking a pill was quite amusing


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## bouncer_the_dog (Oct 12, 2014)

PoorButNotAChav said:


> I used to like Have I Got News For You.  I used to think it was one of the best programmes on TV.  I used to think it was sharp-witted and hard-hitting topical satire.  However, since it moved to BBC1, the BBC became scared of satire and the show's researchers discovered YouTube it has become a toothless, witless, cowardly parody of its former self.  The BBC is spending millions of pounds a year on a supposedly satirical show which contains almost no satire.
> 
> Have I Got News For You needs to be destroyed so the time and money it wastes can be used to try to produce sharp-witted and hard-hitting topical satire.


 this


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## bouncer_the_dog (Oct 12, 2014)

comedy writers will know you can get up to £50 if you send in a joke to hignfy and someone reads it out..


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## PoorButNotAChav (Oct 12, 2014)

bouncer_the_dog said:


> comedy writers will know you can get up to £50 if you send in a joke to hignfy and someone reads it out..



*A scene from the Have I Got News For You joke buying counter:*

"_Eric Pickles is fat_"

<ker-ching>

"_Scottish people eat deep-fried Mars bars_"

<ker-ching>

"_Here's a picture of Boris Johnson looking like an idiot_"

<ker-ching>

"I've got some jokes about Russia's involvement in the war in eastern Ukraine.  Do you want them?"

"No timewasters.  Piss off."


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## gentlegreen (Oct 13, 2014)

billy_bob said:


> Like the Now Show.  No... wait....


The News Quiz is taking for ever to return this time.


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## billy_bob (Oct 13, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> The News Quiz is taking for ever to return this time.



 It always feels like that, doesn't it?  I used to soldier on through the Now Show podcasts, skipping forward for the occasional ok guest comedian, but Mitch Benn is just unedurable, even for a few accidental seconds.  Punt and Dennis's careers as comedians are as mystifying as French and Saunders'.

News Quiz also has its share of hack satire-lite tropes and some guests who make your heart sink, but Jeremy Hardy and a handful of others can usually rescue it from mediocrity for me.  Their half-hearted attempt to demonstrate balance by having Bob Mills or Hugo Rifkind on regularly is quite endearing too.


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## billy_bob (Oct 13, 2014)

PoorButNotAChav said:


> *A scene from the Have I Got News For You joke buying counter:*
> 
> "_Eric Pickles is fat_"
> 
> ...



"I've got loads about how stupid George W Bush is."

"Hmm... he's been out of office six years.  We could only buy one every _other _week."


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## PoorButNotAChav (Oct 20, 2014)

There wasn't much about Lord Freud's comments about paying disabled people less than the minimum wage.  If he had made his comments a decade or two ago when Have I Got News For You was a satirical programme he would have been ripped apart.  However, now Have I Got News For You is a light entertainment programme he got off very lightly.

Jon Richardson on 8 Out Of 10 Cats was more scathing about Lord Freud and if 8 Out Of 10 Cats is satirically sharper than Have I Got News For You what does that say about Have I Got News For You and the BBC?


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## spartacus mills (Oct 20, 2014)

The only _proper_ satirical show I'm aware of is 'Last Week Tonight with John Oliver', shame that a similar show wouldn't be made over here these days. 

HIGNFY on the other hand is safe, cosy, put your feet up, Friday evening tv at the same level of 'QI' and 'Would I Lie To You?'
I admit I enjoy all three when I'm full of wine...


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## Awesome Wells (Oct 21, 2014)

Ugh, QI.


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## prunus (Oct 21, 2014)

Awesome Wells said:


> Ugh, QI.



You will be sent for re-education.


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## Awesome Wells (Oct 21, 2014)

prunus said:


> You will be sent for re-education.


That programme has utterly run out of steam. Alan Davies is desperately unfunny and it's another luvvie love in. Every time I turn it on it's either Sean Locke being disruptive because he's a thick twat who doesn't understand what's being discussed, or Jo Brand with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, or Bill Bailey pretending his biro is a pipe. The whole format has lost it's lustre completely.


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## PoorButNotAChav (Oct 21, 2014)

A few days ago there was an article about the lack of anger in British satire in, of all places, the Telegraph.  It's primarily about the cancellation of 10 O'Clock Live (and says that its problem was "we couldn’t tell what the target was and few of the lines spoken by the performers seemed to come from the heart") but it also praises The Thick Of It (which is "both targeted and angry").

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/...ish-satire-isnt-angry-enough-to-be-funny.html

It doesn't mention Have I Got News For You or Mock The Week at all.


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## D'wards (Oct 21, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> The News Quiz is taking for ever to return this time.


I'm with you on this. If there's ever been two smugger arseholes than Punt and Dennis I wouldn't like to meet them.
I think News Quiz might be back this week...


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## susie12 (Oct 21, 2014)

Yeah, it is.  And Stephen Fry is surely due for a long sabbatical in a silent order?


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## toblerone3 (Jun 2, 2015)

Good show this week although Fifa/Sepp Blatter story was shooting fish in a barrel.


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## ItWillNeverWork (Oct 23, 2015)

It's getting shitter, isn't it? Not 10 minutes into this week's episode and it's proper cringe-worthy.


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## Mungy (Oct 23, 2015)

i thought the chinese jokes where throwback to the 70's. i thought that kind of shite was long gone.


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## DownwardDog (Oct 24, 2015)

Mrs Miggins said:


> HIGNFY is awful these days as it's just too safe. I wonder if the whole scripted panel show format is outdated. Things like The Thick of It and Veep hit the mark much better IMO. Fucking Mock the Week is absolutely dire. That bloke with the messy hair and the jazzy shirts who does the "surreal" one liners pisses me off the most. Miles something is it?? And don't get me started on the bald one with the goatee. Christ.
> 
> I think the problem with QI now is that the panelists know how to play the game. When it first started, they would answer with the things they genuinely thought to be true and find out they were not. Nobody does that any more because they know the claxon will go off so all the fun has gone out of it. I still watch it though because I love random facts and I adore Stephen Fry.



HIGNFY and QI both represent the absolutely direst aspects of British society: self satisfied sense of cultural superiority and transparently false chumminess.


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## weltweit (Oct 24, 2015)

DownwardDog said:


> HIGNFY and QI both represent the absolutely direst aspects of British society: self satisfied sense of cultural superiority and transparently false chumminess.


Why so grumpy, they are just programs and you don't have to watch them.
I find both amusing often and I am not superior or falsly chummy


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## TheHoodedClaw (Oct 24, 2015)

DownwardDog said:


> HIGNFY and QI both represent the absolutely direst aspects of British society: self satisfied sense of cultural superiority and transparently false chumminess.



I'd definitely move to the antipodes to avoid transparently false chumminess, oh yes.


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