# southEASTpoem thread ( all my poetry in one place to keep forums users happy. )



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 26, 2016)

black Friday best ever bargain 24.11.16

I will go lower
fight off all competition
in the village it will be a glower
no one will want this limited edition.
the stock is reduced
its all to entice
a queue down Highgate hill will be produced
come early to read is my advice.
sorry about the refund
this is not applicable
you won't be stunned
trading standards will highlight I am deceitful.
you no I am cheap
remember my firework and the bang er
that night I could not sleep
sticking out of the bed was a coat hanger.
some shops are deception
keep the list and prices in the margin
I hope this gets a good reception
no charge makes it the only black Friday bargain.


hi everyone on SE forum. just found this today and it looks real cool. I sorry if the way I express myself is not and gets on no ones nerves.  looking forward to getting different views on everything and anything.


----------



## ferrelhadley (Nov 26, 2016)

Smells like spam.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 26, 2016)

freddie mercury - who wants to live for ever c5 documentary 22.11.16

building was my anticipation
just like xmas dinner and turkey
always the highest expectation
a kind of magic i associate with mercury.
strength to alone stand
its just like the painting of mona lisa
missing was the endless pomp and grand
monty adoring freddie would be a great teaser.
the press did fork
now understanding georges rebellion
freddie should not have gone outside in new york
back then our society was not so Orwellian.
the love for mary was so deep
that was evident in deciding the will
all the songs and music is the reap
love does kill.
heart breaking was the death
i was not into queen at this age
so away was taken my breath
significant as watching queen on the wembley stage.
a different angle
i hope you see i am totally complementary
who wants to live for ever is on my bangle
just like queens music freddie will be relevant to every century.


( with reference to the outside video done by the GM crop i would like to make clear i am just highlighting freddie did not have a good relationship with the press and the same goes for the GM crop.when this poem gets into the best village in the world it is me sticking 2 fingers up at the press. )


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 26, 2016)

I am original -


----------



## classicdish (Nov 26, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> hi everyone on SE forum.


This isn't the SE forum.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 26, 2016)




----------



## jakethesnake (Nov 26, 2016)

Nothing about school uniform prices though


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 26, 2016)

I am already confused


----------



## pogofish (Nov 27, 2016)

Black Friday is an American thing we only recently aped - get this in the correct forum.


----------



## ginger_syn (Nov 27, 2016)

Watched the first ten minutes of this, didn't take to it and turned over.


----------



## Lazy Llama (Nov 27, 2016)

Moved from UK politics


----------



## dessiato (Nov 27, 2016)

Hobnobs are the way forward.
I'd love some now. 
And a nice cup of tea.
Some milk of the cow,
But I had a pee.
This will be awkward.

That's the best you're going to get from me today.

Anyway, welcome to the, usually, bizarre world of Urban welcome threads.


----------



## dessiato (Nov 27, 2016)

pogofish said:


> Black Friday is an American thing we only recently aped - get this in the correct forum.


It's very big here now too. Shops are open today, Sunday, which is extremely rare here.


----------



## bluescreen (Nov 27, 2016)

That's not a poem
that's not a bargain
This is Urban
and we like arguing


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 27, 2016)

loved both poems and thank you for warm welcome.   (not so sure about arguing bu I will give it a go .


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 27, 2016)

1 green 1 white 1 holy 27.11.16

true happiness was created
my life now has zest
never would i have anticipated
it keeps pumping the thing behind my white vest.
the green one is organic
you must admit its rare
after reading if there is panic
the lavatory behind is free to share.
the white one does function
its hidden like a nurse looking for my vain
never have i been to a better junction
as you leave the grove its right on hampstead lane.
onto the spiritual
the holy one i do adore
pay back to god is my ritual
i thank him for slamming the door.
holy green or white
the 3 all do integrate
community message boards are a delight
its why i live for highgate.


----------



## Fez909 (Nov 27, 2016)

cool current affairs, bro


----------



## JimW (Nov 27, 2016)

Did you not mean to send this in to the letters page of your local newspaper?


----------



## Ax^ (Nov 27, 2016)

you lose points if this is football related...


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Nov 27, 2016)

please do not post poems in UK politics
it has been mentioned before
thank you


----------



## pengaleng (Nov 27, 2016)

wanker.


----------



## spliff (Nov 28, 2016)

I remember when I was about six or seven my older brother telling me we were leaving home.
It was about 7am on a Sunday morning when we started knocking on doors in Highgate and if anyone came to the door he gave them the spiel about how we were homeless but willing to work. The doors that opened were slammed in our faces, amazingly it was quite a few hours before anyone called the police and we were nabbed.
A year later however we managed to get to Borehamwood from Kentish Town on stolen bicycles I still have no idea why. 

such is life


----------



## Voley (Nov 28, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> its hidden like a nurse looking for my *vain*


Wordplay.


----------



## SaskiaJayne (Nov 28, 2016)

I recall another poster that posted in rhyme

He used to do it all the fuckin time

His poems were shit

& got on the mods tits

So they put him to the sword

& banned him off the boards

Never to be seen again except when he returned.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 28, 2016)

SaskiaJayne said:


> I recall another poster that posted in rhyme
> 
> He used to do it all fuckin time
> 
> ...


Have you thought of applying to be the poet laureate?


----------



## mauvais (Nov 28, 2016)

What's green and white and holy?

Err... 

The Pope's new dishwasher.


----------



## OzT (Nov 28, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Have you thought of applying to be the poet laureate?


 
Don't you have to be a womanizing drunk to be a poet laureate??  Oh hang on......


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Nov 28, 2016)

FridgeMagnet said:


> please do not post poems in UK politics
> it has been mentioned before
> thank you


this makes me laugh for its terse and stern  forbearance

It's almost a haiku


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 28, 2016)

ransonware virus ( did the infection start in Highgate ? ) 28.11.16

this is a infection
it has started bleeding profusely
reading the poetry selection
its the cause and i'm leaking it exclusively.
not interested in fame
that is not at all the buzz
i got the power to make you lame
even keeping a eye on the old fuzz.
highgate is a community that's closed
around the ward is a barrier
this confession must never be exposed
but i am the virus carrier.
do you love your computer
is it satisfaction for filling
cyber crime requires no shooter
i suppose that's what makes it so chilling.
no more poetry online
on the beach i am laying hansom
over highgate gone is the shine
thank you suckers for paying the ransom.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-38123403


----------



## pogofish (Nov 28, 2016)

Tecchie forum please!

computers, web and general tech


----------



## gosub (Nov 28, 2016)

pogofish said:


> Tecchie forum please!
> 
> computers, web and general tech



Can't we have a separate poetry forum (that I can put on ignore)


----------



## Supine (Nov 28, 2016)

You think your poem is it
But I think it is shit


----------



## Sirena (Nov 28, 2016)

gosub said:


> Can't we have a separate poetry forum (that I can put on ignore)


Oh no, you'll spoil the poem of the day thread.....


----------



## editor (Nov 28, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> ransonware virus ( did the infection start in Highgate ? ) 28.11.16
> 
> this is a infection
> it has started bleeding profusely
> ...


This really isn't UK News by any definition, so I've moved it to the 'books, films, TV, radio & writing' forum. Please direct all future poetry-related threads into the same forum please.


----------



## Libertad (Nov 28, 2016)

editor said:


> This really isn't UK News by any definition, so I've moved it to the 'books, films, TV, radio & writing' forum. Please direct all future poetry-related threads into the same forum please.



And neither is it poetry.


----------



## editor (Nov 28, 2016)

Libertad said:


> And neither is it poetry.


Looks like that to me. If he wants to post this stuff up, just stick it on ignore if you don't like it.


----------



## existentialist (Nov 28, 2016)

Libertad said:


> And neither is it poetry.


It may not actually be poetry, but it was almost certainly attempted poetry with malice aforethought.


----------



## Libertad (Nov 28, 2016)

existentialist said:


> It may not actually be poetry, but it was almost certainly attempted poetry with malice aforethought.



Well I suppose that it is poetry if the poster believes it to be poetry but it's pretty shit poetry. Send them down.


----------



## Reno (Nov 28, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> ransonware virus ( did the infection start in Highgate ? ) 28.11.16
> 
> this is a infection
> it has started bleeding profusely
> ...


Can you stick you poems in the poetry thread please ? They aren't quite brilliant enough to warrant a seperate thread each.


----------



## existentialist (Nov 28, 2016)

Reno said:


> Can you stick you poems in the poetry thread please ? They aren't quite brilliant enough to warrant a seperate thread each.


I'm not quite sure they're brilliant enough to warrant being in a thread with "poetry" in the title, for that matter...


----------



## existentialist (Nov 28, 2016)

I find myself wondering why I'm being rude about someone for "posting poetry".

And I think it's not so much about them posting poetry as the fact that they seem to be someone who's making no effort to be part of this community, or contribute in any way beyond vomiting their own words across the boards and - at least by implication - feeling that we should read them.


----------



## mrs quoad (Nov 28, 2016)

Libertad said:


> Well I suppose that it is poetry if the poster believes it to be poetry but it's pretty shit poetry. Send them down.


Is this a question?


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 28, 2016)

just trying to create debates - sorry if its a bit OTT and I no its sh1te.


----------



## Libertad (Nov 28, 2016)

mrs quoad said:


> Is this a question?



Yes.


----------



## existentialist (Nov 29, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> just trying to create debates - sorry if its a bit OTT and I no its sh1te.


One thing Urban is never short of is debates


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Nov 29, 2016)

What is it about Highgate?   That is a question.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 29, 2016)

have a wonder  my pollution is everywhere


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 29, 2016)

homeless crisis - wrightstuff debate 29.11.16

the blame is the conservative
this problem needs a saviour
with out a cover and no preservatives
don't even bother thinking labor.
we are now in austerity
this is handy for teresa
the solution is not in her territory
to busy in pantomime shes playing ebenezer.
people with drink and drug habits
are being treated like supporters of isis
forgetting why they are going at it like rabbits
ignoring the health problem that puts them in crisis.
everyone has had a trauma
you will understand differently we handle
the homeless are running through like a dodgy korma
our support system is a shamble.
those fortunate enough to own
does not stop the greed
the supply and demand gap has now grown
accumulating a 2nd and 3rd house does feed.
the council have not built
the current stock is dwindling and in disrepair
landlord are torturing tenants with no quilt
they no the problem will never share.
more and more street sleepers
the problem is making me cry
council stock must not be for keepers
the problem did arise through right to buy.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 29, 2016)

you should submit your poetry to The Big Issue


----------



## snadge (Nov 29, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> have a wonder  my pollution is everywhere




You been wanking on buses?


----------



## StoneRoad (Nov 29, 2016)

please, SOUTHeastPOEM will you keep all your poetry submissions in one thread.


----------



## existentialist (Nov 29, 2016)

StoneRoad said:


> please, SOUTHeastPOEM will you keep all your poetry submissions in one thread.


On Mumsnet.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 29, 2016)

each one is on a different subject and deserves its own section so people can add there view - otherwise I will get confused what they are talking about. the poems are just a expression on how I see the daily news and stuff.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 29, 2016)

and I am no mummys boy existentialist -


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Nov 30, 2016)

sextortion 30.11.16

 i am very open minded
 on the news it had a twinkle
 you will see my naivety left me blinded
 understanding i was led by my winkle.
 i try ed to investigate
 wanting to support the national crime agency
 then i was promised the special penetrate
 the investigation are unaware of my truancy.
 she did love my face
 said it really was a arouse r
 down to her under ware and pink lace
 only needing to ask once to remove my trouser.
 had to see my load
 sorry if it makes the reader ill
 already solid and ready to explode
 i proved plenty of juice to for fill.
 had to give my email and address
 so i could arrange my liaison
 thinking this is better then online chess
 i was emailed saying my sausage is ready to season.
 photographs of me gripping
 all i was now realizing
 the porn queen had flipping
 payment for silence she was exercising.
 please don't be a sucker
 every web cam meet enter with caution
 its my own fault for being a dumb ??????
 i paid to learn about sextortion.


Webcam blackmail cases have doubled, police say - BBC News


----------



## DaveCinzano (Nov 30, 2016)

This is the worst episode of _Gogglebox_ I've ever seen


----------



## Sweet FA (Nov 30, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> i was led by my winkle.
> i try ed


We've all been there mate but I think he's taken


----------



## Nanker Phelge (Dec 1, 2016)

Teresa
Ebeneezer

Genius


----------



## DaveCinzano (Dec 1, 2016)

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it."

First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm, this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it."
– "Yo, home to Bel-Air."

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes smell ya later."
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air


----------



## Supine (Dec 1, 2016)

I used to think i was good at poetry
I thought i would get know globally
It turned out i was wrong
My words were all wrong
And the hammer fell on me mid song...


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2016)

Southeastpoem's concerned by sextortion
He gets neither texts nor a portion


----------



## DaveCinzano (Dec 1, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Southeastpoem's concerned by sextortion
> He gets neither texts nor a portion


For the message was truncated
The relay mast abated
And...


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2016)

DaveCinzano said:


> For the message was truncated
> The relay mast abated
> And...


No, it's not a limerick but a couplet.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> i paid to learn about sextortion.


But all you got was a police caution


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Dec 1, 2016)

And if this story concerned the suicides of 4 women after being blackmailed would it get the lols?


----------



## SpookyFrank (Dec 1, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Southeastpoem's concerned by sextortion
> He gets neither texts nor a portion



If Pickman's Model understood scansion
He'd be living it up in a laureate's mansion


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2016)

SpookyFrank said:


> If Pickman's Model understood scansion
> He'd be living it up in a laureate's mansion


Strange you point out faults in my posts bit not the more egregious errors of the op


----------



## SpookyFrank (Dec 1, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Strange you point out faults in my posts bit not the more egregious errors of the op



The OP's misconduct is quite plain to see,
'Tis your misdemeanours which interest me.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2016)

SpookyFrank said:


> The OP's misconduct is quite plain to see,
> 'Tis your misdemeanours which interest me.


So you say but I don't care
Your words to me are but foul air


----------



## Supine (Dec 1, 2016)

Stop. HAMMER TIME?


----------



## xenon (Dec 2, 2016)

God I hate poetry. Give me blackmail extortion,  tortuous puns,  anything but poetry.


----------



## pengaleng (Dec 2, 2016)

jesus wtf

thats fucking shit, m8.

steelgateitis is real.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 2, 2016)

Let the banhammer fall.
Teh internet hates you all


xenon said:


> God I hate poetry. Give me blackmail extortion,  tortuous puns,  anything but poetry.


This ain't poetry
This ain't rap
This don't flow for me
This is cr--  er, deeply unimpressive.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 2, 2016)

i aim to win the baking wrighstuff competition 02.12.16

i don't do competitions
the poetry society think i am bananas
thursday i broke one of these conditions
hold on just pouring 8 oz of sultanas.
mathew is my god in the morning
he is my knighting gale called Florence
all of my emails get yawning
shinning like 12 oz of these currants.
letting me win has reasons
my cake will be fit for royalty
did i add 8oz of raisins
like me and the wrightsuff they have loyalty.
over on ITV they are getting slaughtered
jeremy kyle is a disgrace
rinsed try ed and quartered
6oz goes in cherries glace.
turning back onto five
my stomach is going in knots
with subjects that make you proud to be alive
quiet all i just remembered 6oz of apricots.
6oz of candied peel
finely chopped to be precise
followed by 4 tlbs of brandy that's a deal
adding 10oz of flour to entice.
half a table spoon of nutmeg grated
3 quarters of mixed spice
end result is anticipated
dedicated in the audience nicola gets 1st slice.
in goes the butter
for sugar 14 oz equal
the only bad is the mouth gutter
i prey scott is not back for a sequel.
5 eggs to enter
2 and a half almonds whole
yasmin and terry should be a permanent renter
both give the wrightstuff sole.
1 tbls of treacle
not much more to invest
this cake will always get recall
finally add orange and lemon zest.
i done my revision
my knowledge is not for faking
wrightstuff reach the right decision
i must win for this poem baking.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/ce...ion_cake_61952


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 2, 2016)

Weren't you here like two years ago and got banned?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2016)

bi0boy said:


> Weren't you here like two years ago and got banned?


good call


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> i aim to win the baking wrighstuff competition 02.12.16
> 
> i don't do competitions
> the poetry society think i am bananas
> ...


nul points i say and with good reasoning
your poem calls for fruit but has no seasoning
nutmeg you cry mixed spice as well
but your dearth of talent's going to tell
you should be in a pub supping pale ale
with poetry like yours you're going to fail


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 4, 2016)

popeye moves into highgate village (occaompanied by not just 1 olive oil ) 04.12.16

sunday morning i did witness
but i am not calling crime stopper
rubbish poetry may be heinous
this perpetrator will come a cropper.
they may well be feeding
is it a hidden village lab
my forensic pale is privately leading
he's just down in crystals have a greasy kebab.
i will find and expose
you interrupted my sunday posting
H.M.P will door close
your bang up time will have no coasting.
how dare you be rude
on my poetry lane
down low is my mood
taking the evidence pic was pain.
all residents lets spoil
bang to right with no deny
i am sure i did just see olive oil
we defiantly need to stick together to bring down popeye.










https://postimg.org/image/g5htvefnb/f74b1548/

https://postimg.org/image/4w9u1vskb/06e68af2/


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 6, 2016)

warning - SLASH ER - camden lock 06.12.16

please enter with caution
this area has danger
getting stuck was my large portion
i had to pull it out like the lone ranger.
it will take you by surprise
just like a alarm clock
providing a sheltered place is the economize
ruled out is emptying no2 stock.
i no about the law
and there is criticism
feminist are going to wipe the floor
even i can see the sexism.
did morrinsons object
its situated on the road entry
would humor you detect
a sign "NO DUMPING" would be gag of the century.
is anyone freeeking
will forum responses divide
or is it harmless to watch men leaking
handling there sausage with pride.
i no reply's will be random
not all will be a basher
sprinting home with my sausage from camden
i must not be labeled slash er.

tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2uxya9s&s=9#.WEbu-e977X5


----------



## 8den (Dec 6, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> warning - SLASH ER - camden lock 06.12.16
> 
> please enter with caution
> this area has danger
> ...



Okay so you've written a poem about public urination and defecation?

Yeah, no way am I touching that pic link.


----------



## Opera Buffa (Dec 6, 2016)

8den said:


> Yeah, no way am I touching that pic link.



I'll march into Hell for you, Urban!




Spoiler: It's a mystery piece of street furniture. No poo or wee.


----------



## toblerone3 (Dec 7, 2016)

Its a standing toilet or Pee Cabinet.


----------



## 8den (Dec 7, 2016)

toblerone3 said:


> Its a standing toilet or Pee Cabinet.


Well that's positively Corbynistly boring.


----------



## Gromit (Dec 7, 2016)

8den said:


> Okay so you've written a poem about public urination and defecation?
> 
> Yeah, no way am I touching that pic link.


I feel that he's 
publicly urinated 
over our forum 
with his piss poor poetry. 

My haiku in response


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 7, 2016)

Are you mishi in disguise?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 7, 2016)

Surprised no one's pointed put SOUTHEASTPOEM is taking the piss


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 7, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> a sign "NO DUMPING" would be gag of the century.


Yeh, the last century


----------



## gentlegreen (Dec 7, 2016)

is the OP a returner ?

2 times prosi's and a lord and a off-jerk (arriving soon in Soho)

warning - SLASH ER - camden lock |										 Chat |						 Grandparents forum - talk to other grandparents


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 7, 2016)

illegal dog market - xmas thriving 07.12.16

we are well into december
everyone is financially struggling
lets hope no one can last year remember
my quilt points to smuggling.
lots will fancy a blond
others settle for a brunette
concerned about waving the wand
others don't care as long as goes in the baguette.
not to worried about protection
reminds me of last friday in that cab
no unfamiliar sores have detection
she swore blind she had the jab.
how are they being treated
are they being kept in dirt and squalor
the madam was so polite when greeted
showing me the one that loves the dog collar.
what is the fuss
every christmas i have this dilemma
this campaign will have no plus
the illegal dog market won't tremor.

http://www.itv.com/goodmorningbritai...buying-a-puppy


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 7, 2016)

great to be causing thoughts -   get them juices flowing.


----------



## 8den (Dec 7, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> illegal dog market - xmas thriving 07.12.16
> 
> we are well into december
> everyone is financially struggling
> ...



Alas, forlorn,
I look and see,
a 404 error in front of me.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 9, 2016)

jealousy donG 09.12.16

it is not a nice quality
for sure to leave you in a pickle
donG to me was royalty
not just a bit of slap and tickle.
but things are altering
on a huge scale
just so fed up of this slaughtering
he does humiliate me on the daily mail.
but we have a game changer
its going to be no failure
the few one lines equal no stranger
the love of my life is kalia.
how will donG function
will he miss me enormously
putting himself at this junction
the root of all evil is jealousy.
loving one is forbidden
i got to much love to give
spa and donG understand this is not hidden
don't be jealous and let me live.


----------



## Idaho (Dec 9, 2016)

Creating your own thread were you post all your poems would be indulgent enough - but at least it would be tidy. Creating a new thread for each one is too much.


----------



## gentlegreen (Dec 9, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> bit of slap and tickle.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Dec 9, 2016)

On Urban in the olden times
a poster often posted rhymes
Some were okay, some were bad
Do you remember him - Methlab?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 9, 2016)

ElizabethofYork said:


> On Urban in the olden times
> a poster often posted rhymes
> Some were okay, some were bad
> Do you remember him - Methlab?


in brixton town did editor
a stately message board decree
where effra, the sacred river, ran
through sewers measureless to man
down to the thames's lee


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 9, 2016)

Verily I tried my hand at poetry
Most to little, lesser or no effect
Scarily it stands online for eternity
Hosted reminders of credibility wrecked


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 9, 2016)

the quantity of poetry
you find on urban is
of variable quality
and most of all, a swiz


----------



## editor (Dec 9, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM  From now on, all your poems will have to go into one single thread because it is too much to have a new one for every single one. You can call it what you like, and then I will merge all your previous poems into the same single thread.


----------



## xenon (Dec 9, 2016)

Who the fuck is donG?


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 9, 2016)

xenon said:


> Who the fuck is donG?


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 9, 2016)




----------



## gentlegreen (Dec 9, 2016)




----------



## pengaleng (Dec 9, 2016)

hi steelgate. yer poems are still shit.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 9, 2016)

pengaleng said:


> hi steelgate. yer poems are still shit.


steelgate thinks his poems are where it's at
everyone else thinks they're stinky scat


----------



## gentlegreen (Dec 9, 2016)

Wasn't steelgate the pickup artist ?


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 9, 2016)

Tldr


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 9, 2016)

xenon said:


> Who the fuck is donG?


His thread is gonna be lonG


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 9, 2016)

Put a donG on it.


----------



## Supine (Dec 9, 2016)

Fingers crossed dong is the sound a ban hammer makes


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 9, 2016)

the poems were all over
then they weren't


----------



## Sirena (Dec 9, 2016)

If he broke up the poem's lines in an arty way and put some slightly stylish verse breaks, I reckon he could get away with it....


----------



## Sirena (Dec 9, 2016)

it is not a nice 
quality for sure 
to leave you in a pickle.

donG to me was royalty
not just a bit of slap and tickle. But
things are altering
on a huge scale.....


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 9, 2016)

Someone please post that Cisco tune


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 9, 2016)

thank you all for you input - it has been gratefully received and I will relay it back to lov of my life donG - next time I see him


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 9, 2016)

I seem to be winding a few of you up as putting my poems all over the place - I don't wish to do that so I will heed your advice and post all my future poems in here.   sorry if I caused any stress to anyone.


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Dec 9, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> I seem to be winding a few of you up as putting my poems all over the place - I don't wish to do that so I will heed your advice and post all my future poems in here.   sorry if I caused any stress to anyone.


Is this a haiku ?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 9, 2016)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Is this a haiku ?


It is a foray into prose poems


----------



## Idaho (Dec 10, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> I seem to be winding a few of you up as putting my poems all over the place - I don't wish to do that so I will heed your advice and post all my future poems in here.   sorry if I caused any stress to anyone.


No worries  everyone is entitled to a random thread or two of their own. But only a thread or two


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 10, 2016)

good morning everyone. not sure if you will be aware of the new bakery set to open in Highgate village - but as per - I put down my 10 cents - I am sure there will be opposition .


the village war is baking 10.12.16

open the draw gate
let out the beast
the oven alarms will exacerbate
competition is now the vital yeast.
le pain quotidien has not got the monopoly
close by a independent baker
lets hope gails does a good poppy
it could well be a bloomer shaker.
our village will gleam
will it bring down the cost
can not wait to taste fresh cream
the sight will have calorie frost.
wafting is the bake
it really is a nice aroma
read some poetry while having tea and cake
sorry if you fall into a comma.
who will go under
can all 3 prevent going bust
estate agents were a force with thunder
but now its the chewy crust.

Highgate bread war: Gail's Bakery to move into shop next door to Le Pain Quotidien | Camden New Journal


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 10, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> good morning everyone. not sure if you will be aware of the new bakery set to open in Highgate village - but as per - I put down my 10 cents - I am sure there will be opposition .
> 
> 
> the village war is baking 10.12.16
> ...


Comma doesn't rhyme with aroma.


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 10, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Comma doesn't rhyme with aroma.



Ice Cube made Mohammed rhyme with vomit


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 10, 2016)

bi0boy said:


> Ice Cube made Mohammed rhyme with vomit


Yeh but that's when Mohammed was mates with Vomit, so it wasn't too hard to get them to rhyme together.


----------



## spliff (Dec 10, 2016)

spliff said:


> I remember when I was about six or seven my older brother telling me we were leaving home.
> It was about 7am on a Sunday morning when we started knocking on doors in Highgate and if anyone came to the door he gave them the spiel about how we were homeless but willing to work. The doors that opened were slammed in our faces, amazingly it was quite a few hours before anyone called the police and we were nabbed.
> A year later however we managed to get to Borehamwood from Kentish Town on stolen bicycles I still have no idea why.
> 
> such is life


confused and bemused as to why this post is in this thread, I remember writing it but not set in this context. 
Is it because it contains the name 'Highgate' it's been mistook for a pome?


----------



## Lazy Llama (Dec 10, 2016)

spliff said:


> confused and bemused as to why this post is in this thread, I remember writing it but not set in this context.
> Is it because it contains the name 'Highgate' it's been mistook for a pome?


I merged all the previous southEASTpoem threads into this one. So you were probably posting in reply to his Highgate post.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 11, 2016)

thank you very much for putting all together - I will do all my sh1t here lol


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 11, 2016)

donkey going through highgate village on way to Bethlehem (photo link provided) 11.12.16

yes it was a shock
being sunday was it a angel
was i back smoking the rock
leading this donkey was the arc angel gabriel.
god no's what i do
changing me is his surrender
maybe in following was the clue
the curiosity is making me tender.
am i going crackers
maybe it is religion
i am thinking poetry and hackers
it adds up to the donkey in highgate region.
this is very humiliating
my faith needs not restoring
on me god is really grating
just like my poetry god is getting boring.
i am on earth to serve
you god are my employer
spotting a angel i will never swerve
in highgate village was i the only donkey enjoy er.





http://postimg.org/image/iaxskaci7/9f2902d9/	- I decided I best show the pic as some may think I have had to much medication lol.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 12, 2016)

life on the psych ward - c4 documentary 12.12.16

what a great documentary
i have to applaud
clear to understand commentary
it was a fantastic insight to the psych ward.
through no fault of there own
these people need assistance
sympathy will be blown
even staff are aware of the drug substance.
the brain is central
every case is understood by the jury
its a health problem anything mental
why does this illness still cause fury.
through government cuts we reduce
all political party's are to blame
every politician helped produce
no MP has one ounce of shame.
key to the problem is hospital
the NHS runs on compassion
free at the point of need is vital
ms may address us and spell out no psych ration.

Life on the Psych Ward - On Demand - All 4


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 13, 2016)

red phone box days are numbered 13.12.16

this was my gateway
so proud of my invention
10p would be to much to pay
so totally free i launched my poetry extension.
i thanked those who maintained
the rest is history
highgate village is now weekly cain ed
why i left the phone box is no mystery.
people got mixed
just like me and understanding spelling
the damage could not be fixed
the deposit of human feces forced no more dwelling.
the red box was fantastic
but i needed a air conditioned premises
i took steps that were drastic
so i conceded to my phone box nemeses.
it is still beautiful
highgate village must never loose
so prominent and colourful
its perfect standing even if i no longer use.

Calls to turn historic Highgate red telephone box into mini-library


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 14, 2016)

5 G - terminology 14.12.16

welcome to number five
but this is no mambo
first blood in the forest to stay alive
every caller has to be a resourceful rambo.
we may well have a provider
this gives one of those pains
but my reception bar is a tinchy stryder
its useless what towers top of swains.
jumping the signal
all providers do is want to boom
is this madness or phenomenal
on existing coverage improvements have room.
my phone is modern
it has all the latest technology
getting cut off is common
improve the existing service is my terminology.

UK government 'must take action' on 5G - BBC News


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 14, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> 5 G - terminology 14.12.16
> 
> welcome to number five
> but this is no mambo
> ...


have you thought of complaining to your service provider about getting cut off?


----------



## spliff (Dec 14, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> red phone box days are numbered 13.12.16
> 
> this was my gateway
> so proud of my invention
> ...


I visited this one in Settle last year, it were charming. 





Further reading


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 15, 2016)

that looks amazing spliff.	bet it makes people happy.  can not stop - got the fuzz behind  me -

2 serious police incidents ( photographic evidence link - provided ) 15.12.16

my heart did sink
this queen had to perform
bringing the village to the brink
like wembley'86 i did storm.
they no about the donkey
someone was a informer
the leak was deliberate and not wonky
escaping 2 horse back gave me trauma.
escaping through the alley
i new the stairwell was narrow
village knowledge is a un payable salary
at st josephs god gave me the arrow.
back to normal and blending
my heart beat had to delay
now a crime that has no defending
so happy to see the police in holloway.
again it was a leak
the begging on this road
i must say old bill is at his peak
my stuff they must download.
on me don't linger
out of your budget i take a packet
obscene poetry may well finger
but on holloway road its a sophisticated illegal racket.


IMG1080_1423_14122016 — Postimage.org
IMG1079_1258_14122016 — Postimage.org


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 15, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> that looks amazing spliff.	bet it makes people happy.  can not stop - got the fuzz behind  me -
> 
> 2 serious police incidents ( photographic evidence link - provided ) 15.12.16
> 
> ...


from your link

classy


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 16, 2016)

I am not saying anything - need to see my brief . moving on - will you miss the wrightstuff ?

last wrightstuff - thank you for this year 2016 16.12.16


 it is very traumatic
 not said with any attitude
 915am and ch5 are automatic
 to the wrightstuff i show my gratitude.
 every weekday is the same
 one great production
 from 915am to 930am its so tame
 its to welcome and the introduction.
 930am is the first debate
 always a great discussion
 you will have empathy or it will infuriate
 its risky like roulette that's russian.
 one more sitting
 it will bring us to the paper review
 over on ITV foul language and hitting
 jeremy vile audience don't have a clue.
 2 more news reviews
 whats happening is your up to speed
 he is one of the best ever mathews
 all my news and no need to read.
 thank you for this year
 mornings are going to be a puff
 fri 16 dec i shed a tear
 because i am so going to miss the wrightstuff.

 ( thank you to the whole wrightstuff team. you make every weekday morning for me and with out your show - i would be in a darker place. )


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 19, 2016)

rail - post - poetry strike 19.12.16

i will not apologize
the list i am joining
on trains 2 staff and they want to economize
this is my opportunity for coining.
now its the post office
things just get better
posting makes me no novice
the village will still receive this letter.
terms and conditions please
did you read the small print
not needed is any cheese
the simple fact is i am truly skint.
as the sole proprietor
change to the rule book
the village will have a lone riot er
unless a payment deal we cook.
i am angry and bitter
seeking advice thats legal
told on a case its a money flitter
striking will not beat this evil.
so i am going to pollute
highgate village will be dripping
at first the poems will be cute
but your mental health i will be tipping.


Thousands of workers set to strike in Christmas week - BBC News


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 20, 2016)

NHS left with 'shocking' £30m bill by overseas patients 20.12.16

open the door
this is now a emergency
we have been abused like a wh?re
the money trail has a truancy.
what is the error
how are you suffering
the cost of health care is a terror
lets sort it out after a deliberate buffering.
treated by the supreme
all NHS staff have pride
leaving hospital and you will gleam
its so easy to disappear and hide.
do you need a transplant
how about new lungs
free is the chant
you don't even need back hand bungs.
how about a new kidney
or even a liver
documents are not checked rigidly
that's why i have a spine shiver.
get a grip
NHS you are my superior
but criticism is my slip
to speak out shows i am not inferior.
every pound spent
is one less on a UK stay er
our NHS is no free event
its for people of the UK most are the tax payer.



http://www.964eagle.co.uk/news/uk-news/2180833/nhs-left-with-shocking-30m-bill-by-overseas-patients/


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 23, 2016)

kate - george - pool - belly wham i mean slam 23.12.16

i want to build like lego
because george is my second idle
on tea break i was cruising metro
this paper led me with a bridle.
great to hear of generosity
it sounds like a street called ramsay
in and out of each others gardens is no curiosity
ladder up and a drop no time for clumsy.
into the pool
on a day when its sweltering
total privacy is the tool
from prying eyes you have sheltering.
george you are kind
sharing is a good trait
people who are jealous will go blind
it will be the last reading in Highgate.




Kate Moss reveals she has a secret ladder into her famous neighbour's garden


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> we have been abused like a wh?re


whore


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 25, 2016)

a christmas day gift 18.12.16

do i have your attention
hands out of your pocket
christmas day gets this extension
going round the village like a moon rocket.
i suppose your wondering
you want to unwrap
like my whole life its blundering
you have fallen into the same trap.
why did it catch your eye
are you a regular reader
did you just peep on the sly
am i more repulsive then alkiedia.
i have to return
my conscience will shift
highgate makes my life churn
i present you with this gift.
thank you a million times
you reading is my smile
not getting you is one of my crimes
nothing you can do not even 999 dial.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 25, 2016)

tease me - christmas day emmerdale 25.12.16



 i thank you for teasing
 it was pleasant storage
 it will be pleasing
 when i post in my village.
 it was a gift
 a christmas day stunner
 you no exactly how to shift
 this farm now has a wham runner.
 love was the connection
 making memory the treasure
 lisa clearly displayed rejection
 queen are correct pain is so close to pleasure.
 love was in the air
 2 young men was no crawl on skin
 for emmerdale its no risky dare
 i got a feeling open will be the fin.
 charity and cain had a twinkle
 the connection is no mystery
 on then off till they wrinkle
 there future is there history.
 have to end with the bible
 god has sent me on a adventure
 the heart break for ashley is undeniable
 christmas day thoughts for those effected by dementia.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 26, 2016)

last Christmas - George 26.12.16

queen were my intro
little did I no the bond
every single year the love did grow
Highgate village new how fond.
Freddie had the best vocals
but George was chasing
I was different from all other locals
a ITU bed also had me placing.
keep having to pinch
I am in a nightmare and its murky
George you are the Christmas Grinch
gone right off Christmas turkey.
we have lost a star
the world has taken a blow
no more range rover poems to village scar
I probably won't ever meet again Christopher soprano.
I will lay a heart
outside your black gate
never will you truly depart
George is in our hearts and will never deflate.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 30, 2016)

christmas lights ( hill way on holly lodge estate ) 30.12.16

welcome to lap land
children get ready to reap
the magic on faces is grand
be quiet father christmas is asleep.
imagination running wild
the proof is in the authenticity
every christmas list is filed
each one goes on top of the bill for electricity.
but not all is the shine
agreeing is not every lodger
shivers are down my spine
to be offended it represents old codger.
hill way is expensive
when you view open will your mouth
in the village they have poetry that's depressive
i am going to blair out freedom'90 for mr south.
the firework puzzle is ignited
the CNJ did advertise
free publicity leaves mr south delighted
bar humbug to the one who did criticize.





http://www.camdennewjournal.com/highgate-lights-letter


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Dec 31, 2016)

greene and co ( highgate road ) are moving - hurray ( photo evidence ) 31.12.16

street art is the rage
even if some are left bitter
humor you won't be able to cage
it is so much more effective then twitter.
greene and co are moving
not sure of there new neighbor
knowledge of the property market is soothing
hopefully this will be there savour.
who done this prank
come forward with no delay
like me are you a weird crank
my postings are far from a hurray.
thank you for the enjoyment
your stunt was ingenious
greene and co won't be needing further employment
it was a criminal act that's heinous.

IMG1095_2019_30122016 — Postimage.org   for people who do not pass through this road,  the sign reads = greene and co are moving and someone has stuck up hurray underneath. i think this artist needs a round of applause but what do you think ?


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Dec 31, 2016)

SOUTHeastPOEM said:


> greene and co ( highgate road ) are moving - hurray ( photo evidence ) 31.12.16
> 
> street art is the rage
> even if some are left bitter
> ...


Who are Greene and co? I quite like some lines in this one but don't know if you're for or against Greene and co.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Jan 2, 2017)

if you click the link below my poem it will show a sign telling customers they are moving premises but someone stuck up the hurray underneath and this was really funny and I done a poem on it.

hope that explains miss-shelf.


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Jan 2, 2017)

highgate village - pot-crack epidemic 02.01.17

we all no there is a epidemic
but don't expect it in the village
it stood out like a relic
wafting to pond square was the silage.
are there many addicts
or was it just a introduction
after 1st january gone are the conflicts
the green forest will cease in production.
it could spiral
spread to be under every roof
with my photo it will go viral
my alba gives me proof.
the nasty side is danger
highgate will take the flack
new years day was no away in a manger
i will leave a link to the pot - crack.

https://postimg.org/image/4sjv6b6xd/a679feda/


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Jan 3, 2017)

labour watch out - jeremy is about 03.01.17

you have lost the plot
gone real low down
slower then a canter or a trot
even dropping lower then the brown.
i did warn
my frustration was brought to the max
with no reply i assume you did yawn
when gordon try ed to do us on 10p tax.
he got the boot
but he done no hood from robin
forget war it was a self foot shoot
a absoulote laughing stock is corbyn.
we all want peace
but jeremy is no UN referee
to busy with the boarder police
telling the failed we welcome you as a refugee.
labour must act
save your own bacon
never been so low fact
beadle about needs to be out taken.

( until labour rid him - they have no hope. )


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Jan 13, 2017)

highgate road thursday 12 jan appeal ? (photo link of chaos ) 13.01.17
　
the night was freezing
not many walkers on street
traffic on the road easing
pushed to the curb the cold sleet.
approaching william ellis
flashing blue lights did panic
school memories sharper then the fruit physalis
what i was about to see what no picnic.
the white cover did indicate
out comes the reporter
being insensitive will infuriate
this was some ones son or daughter.
i saw a sleeping bag
in front of the bus stop
a white transit van and car with a police flag
but no sign of a cop.
i don't no what occurred
jumping the gun is not my handicap
please god no one is heaven transferred
in 2017 unacceptable is the homeless trap.


( i have no idea what happened this thursday night and all i no is what i saw - blue lights flashing and 2 police vehicles a white sheet all the way round the bus stop and on the floor what looked like to be a sleeping bag with someone in.i no you should not jump the gun but i am thinking this person was homeless and seeking shelter from the cold last night but it was just to much for there body to take as it was freezing and this breaks my heart. i am appealing to anyone reading this to write to there local MP and say in 2017 being homeless is unexceptabable and you want something done. no one should have to live on the streets and the people of the uk must stick together and if enough of us demand change - it will happen. (remember the london riots ? the MP's have to listen to us - we need to speak out and demand change to get something done. https://postimg.org/image/3xg22nfz7/4b50d782/ )


----------



## SOUTHeastPOEM (Jan 14, 2017)

jamie kalamata - alcohol late licence at the flour station CAMDEN LOCK 14.01.17





welcome to my head


to help you decide


this is all about bread


no room for a split tin divide.


jamie want's to apply


but will the baking smell ooze


is extending the licence as dark as rye


floating in camden is drink drugs and booze.


it is not for the normal cliental


the reader please don't get frantic


not to get off your nut and go mental


a calmer atmosphere bordering on organic.


spread the rumor


very soon jamie will be raking


just popping out for a midnight bloomer


in time for flour station last baking.


lets hope it is approved


its all making camden smarter


from my words yeast must be removed


infarct i might just apply to work for mr kalmata.

the Flour Station, sourdough breads, cakes & pastries


----------

