# Worst film ever?



## jugularvein (Nov 15, 2006)

An evil millionaire (Hulk Hogan) gets amnesia and then belives that he is Santa Claus.

"Santa with Muscles"   

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117550/


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## killer b (Nov 15, 2006)

south west 9

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0297403/


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## Orang Utan (Nov 15, 2006)

Spawn is up there


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## Donna Ferentes (Nov 15, 2006)

The worst I've ever paid to see was _I, Robot_.


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## CharlieAddict (Nov 15, 2006)

_the crow_ was pretty shit.


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## janeb (Nov 15, 2006)

The only film I've ever walked out of;

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

(Mel Brookes, you should be ashamed of yourself)


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## The Groke (Nov 15, 2006)

You Got Served.


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## jugularvein (Nov 15, 2006)

worst in cinema:

police academy 7. walked out and i was only ten or something.


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## nino_savatte (Nov 15, 2006)

_Junior_ with Arnie and someone else. Arnie's preggers...yawn. It was so shite that I walked out. It's the only film I've ever walked out of.


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## Dubversion (Nov 15, 2006)

American Beauty.


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## exleper (Nov 15, 2006)

janeb said:
			
		

> The only film I've ever walked out of;
> 
> Robin Hood: Men in Tights
> 
> (Mel Brookes, you should be ashamed of yourself)


funny in places, but generally awful. thats the kind of film id call _embarassing_.


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## jugularvein (Nov 15, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> American Beauty.




controversial choice. yes. worst. no.


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## vogonity (Nov 15, 2006)

Forrest Gump. I watched it thinking, "this has got to get good, some time," but I was wrong. It was utter _shite._


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## Dubversion (Nov 15, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> controversial choice. yes. worst. no.




it's what's known as "my opinion".


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## jugularvein (Nov 15, 2006)

i was giving my opinion about your opinion


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## Jenerys (Nov 15, 2006)

Garden State with Lost in Translation a close second


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## Dubversion (Nov 15, 2006)

LilJen said:
			
		

> Lost in Translation a close second



controversial. yes. worst. no


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## El Sueno (Nov 15, 2006)

Battlefield Earth, innit. I mean, come on!!


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## spacemonkey (Nov 15, 2006)

The Groke said:
			
		

> You Got Served.



I bet you absolutely _loved_ it deep down. But you're in denial.


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## kakuma (Nov 15, 2006)

nah youse lot are way off

something like 'i spit on your grave' or 'pariah'

totally joyless with appaling production values, plot, acting, everything and very dodgy themes

american beauty or lost in translation, films of that ilk may be more annoying to certain people, but to other people they are good movies. i enjoyed both of them, not great, but passed the time of day

whereas proper bad movies make you feel guilty for watching them (not because they are challenging because they are pointless)


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## El Sueno (Nov 15, 2006)

Ninjaboy said:
			
		

> totally joyless with appaling production values, plot, acting, everything and very dodgy themes
> 
> whereas proper bad movies make you feel guilty for watching them (not because they are challenging because they are pointless)



I'll say it again - Battlefield Earth.

Boring/maddeningly frustrating to watch whereas your typical 'crap film' is usually pretty funny.


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## kakuma (Nov 15, 2006)

El Sueno said:
			
		

> I'll say it again - Battlefield Earth.
> 
> Boring/maddeningly frustrating to watch whereas your typical 'crap film' is usually pretty funny.



did it not have a good beginning or a good end or some bit which showed why they made the movie tho?? 

am sure i remember seeing the trailer for that and it was good, same as final fantasy or planet of treasure. shit movies, but had their moments


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## The Groke (Nov 15, 2006)

El Sueno said:
			
		

> I'll say it again - Battlefield Earth.
> 
> Boring/maddeningly frustrating to watch whereas your typical 'crap film' is usually pretty funny.



I suppose I should have mentioned that one after my epic review of it a while back.


jebus - was that really over 2 years ago.


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## bluestreak (Nov 15, 2006)

definitely the worst movie ever made.


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## Stanley Edwards (Nov 15, 2006)

What was that film where Magnum PI played an Irish settler in Australia???

That was so bad for so many reasons. The story was basically showing how Irish settlers in OZ pissed on the local aboriginals.

Pot and kettle or, what. I don't think even an English TV private investigator would have taken that role on.

Bad story, bad acting, bad directing, bad everything.


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## kakuma (Nov 15, 2006)

those tv movies are like crack or something tho, you hate them, and you know that they are wrong on so many levels, but you can't turn off the telly before they finish


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

_Apocalypse Now_ - long, boring, long.  Has the Doors in it.
_Citizen Kane_ - the sledge did it.
_Blade Runner_ - Long, dull.  Who's a replicant and who isn't?  Who cares? 
_Dr Strangelove_ - Peter Sellars overacts.  Again.
_Pulp Fiction_.  - Has Bruce Willis in (which makes any film unwatchable).  He loses a watch.  Some people die.  (In mitigation, there is some good music).


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## dlx1 (Nov 15, 2006)

It was on telly the other night (Monday)

North Star 1996 - Christopher Lambert 

Shocking


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

I'm not sure whether _Johnny Mnemonic_ counts as it was so bad it somehow became good again


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## BlackSpecs (Nov 15, 2006)

*Congo* !!! ...." Amie , scared....Amie....loves........................you!"


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

I think if you were to put it to a vote (that you caould add options to, of course), then _Titanic_ would be the consensus.

Batman and Robin was pretty bad.  I watched Battlefield Earth and, though it was bad, it didn't make me want to scoop my eyes out with a fork.

No one has said _Independence Day_ yet . . .


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> I think if you were to put it to a vote (that you caould add options to, of course), then _Titanic_ would be the consensus.


I don't know, I think Bladerunner would give Tinanic a run for its money.


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge, you are an idiot.

If you did a 'best ever films' poll, Bladerunner would come in the top 15.  Go look at some polls on the net.  You may not like it but it's true  

I think the film that inspires in me the deepest loathing and hatred has to be _Dirty Dancing._


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> If you did a 'best ever films' poll, Bladerunner would come in the top 15.


Just as certain celebrities frequently top both the worst dressed and best dressed polls simultaneously, so certain films are both equally loved (by idiots) and loathed (by those with taste).

I can only judge films I've seen, so my list of worst films cannot include (for example) _Independence Day_ because it either had Bruce Willis in it, or looked as if it might.


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> . .. I can only judge films I've seen, so my list of worst films cannot include (for example) _Independence Day_ because it either had Bruce Willis in it, or looked as if it might.



LOL!  

Was actually Will Smith, so you have a point  

And can you find Bladerunner down on a 'worst films' list that you haven't written yourself?

I just don't think you can credibly include a film you hate but lots of other people (including those well-versed in cinema if we want to be snobs) like a lot.


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## Firky (Nov 15, 2006)

titanic
blair witch project
harlem night
hostel
sgt. pepper's lonely...
showgirls
highlander 2
matrix 3
congo
barbwire
independence day (jesus that is painful)
the postman
waterworld
spiceworld
pearl harbour

any steven seagal film


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> I just don't think you can credibly include a film you hate but lots of other people (including those well-versed in cinema if we want to be snobs) like a lot.


I think you'll find _loads_ of people love Dirty Dancing.  So is that out of the running?


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## Firky (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> *Dr Strangelove - Peter Sellars overacts.  Again.*



Rubbish, one of hte best satircal films ever


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

firky said:
			
		

> Rubbish, one of hte best satircal films ever


See, that's the mistake many people make; the satire can be of good intent without the acting being good, or the film being watchable.


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> I think you'll find _loads_ of people love Dirty Dancing.  So is that out of the running?



No, because all of the people who love Dirty Dancing were going through hormonal changes at the time of their first exposure to it which rendered them completely tasteless but only for a short period of time.

The Pavlovian response they all continue to exhibit when this cack comes on the TV is purely a reflex action.

e2a - also I don't think you'll find it on any 'best ever' lists, so it is not in the 'Bladerunner' category, where you have a film on the 'best of' lists, but not the 'worst of' lists.  So this is not really analogous to Pete Doherty's dress sense.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> No, because all of the people who love Dirty Dancing were going through hormonal changes at the time of their first exposure to it which rendered them completely tasteless but only for a short period of time.


 Fair point.  So when asking, we need to design the question along the lines of "What is the best movie ever, and how old were you when you first saw it?"



> e2a - also I don't think you'll find it on any 'best ever' lists.


I never trust published lists.  Time Magazine, Q, The List - they're staffed by ponces.


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## Firky (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> See, that's the mistake many people make; the satire can be of good intent without the acting being good, or the film being watchable.



Well I think it is fuckin' ace, some of the shots when the americans are invading the base look like scenes from the frontline in afghanistan and iraq, sellers is bound to be OTT in it - it was an OTT role(s), and it is just pure comedy at times. His part as the president is quality, you can't say that was over acted.


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> "So when asking, we need to design the question along the lines of 'What is the best movie ever, and how old were you when you first saw it?'"



Don't do that!  

The girls will all use it as an excuse to diss Star Wars!!


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## kakuma (Nov 15, 2006)

youse lot are fucking idiots


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

firky said:
			
		

> His part as the president is quality, you can't say that was over acted.


I can say what I like.  I hate Peter Sellars.  He gives me fury.


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## Fez909 (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> _Apocalypse Now_ - long, boring, long.  Has the Doors in it.
> _Citizen Kane_ - the sledge did it.
> _Blade Runner_ - Long, dull.  Who's a replicant and who isn't?  Who cares?
> _Dr Strangelove_ - Peter Sellars overacts.  Again.
> _Pulp Fiction_.  - Has Bruce Willis in (which makes any film unwatchable).  He loses a watch.  Some people die.  (In mitigation, there is some good music).



I reckon you're not even trying to be controversial here. You're trolling.

You've picked 5 films which often appear high up in the best films polls for some reason other than that you actually believe it. Maybe to derail the thread? To wind people up?

I don't believe you can't think of a worse film than any of those.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> Don't do that!
> 
> The girls will all use it as an excuse to diss Star Wars!!


   That's what you get!

Anyway, Star Wars _is_ tripe.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

Fez909 said:
			
		

> I don't believe you can't think of a worse film than any of those.


I picked over rated films I hate.


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> Anyway, Star Wars _is_ tripe.




Shhhh!


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## Firky (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> I can say what I like.  I hate Peter Sellars.  He gives me fury.



Tch!

Bet you think Ollie Reed is shit too


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## Fez909 (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> I picked over rated films I hate.



Which isn't what was asked.


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## Dubversion (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> danny la rouge, you are an idiot.
> 
> If you did a 'best ever films' poll, Bladerunner would come in the top 15.  Go look at some polls on the net.  You may not like it but it's true




I like Blade Runner, but that is a DUMB fucking argument. DO you make all your aesthetic decisions based on their popularity?


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> I like Blade Runner, but that is a DUMB fucking argument. DO you make all your aesthetic decisions based on their popularity?



Please read some more of the thread Dumbass.


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> I picked over rated films I hate.



If we're allowed to do that, then I nominate Gladiator.  

The only redeeming feature was that I had a good snooze at the cinema.
What a bag of shite, I could have knocked up a better Coliseum on my old Spectrum48k, those 'arty' bits missed the mark by SOOOO far . . . I could go on . . .


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## chazegee (Nov 15, 2006)

Plan 9 from out of space.

The Hollywood remake, not the brilliant Bela Lugosi original


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

Fez, we're told certain films are "great", but that is never questioned. _ Why_ are they great? They're great because they're in some list?  Or because some poncy critic says you should like them?

Well, to me a great film is a film I have enjoyed, and I didn't enjoy any of the films listed.

What does "worst" mean?  I can only go on my taste, not yours, not Jonathan Ross's, but mine.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> If we're allowed to do that, then I nominate Gladiator.  .


Why not?  I didn't think much of it, either.  Ollie's role was too short...


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## Dubversion (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> Please read some more of the thread Dumbass.



i did, but i felt my comment was still warranted, fucko


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> What does "worst" mean?  I can only go on my taste, not yours, not Jonathan Ross's, but mine.



Fair point but I think if you're going to talk about the 'Worst fiilm _ever_', rather than 'Films I think are massively overrated', then I think an element of looking at how others respond to it comes into play.

Have you never listened to some music and thought 'well I can tell that there's something there, that it isn't just shit, but it really ain't my bag'?


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> i did, but i felt my comment was still warranted, fucko



Learn to fucking read properly, then, dickweed


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## kerb (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> Fez, we're told certain films are "great", but that is never questioned. _ Why_ are they great? They're great because they're in some list?  Or because some poncy critic says you should like them?
> 
> Well, to me a great film is a film I have enjoyed, and I didn't enjoy any of the films listed.




fair enough point mate. i happen to have enjoyed all those films you cited but that just taste ain't it.  

its just seems that you dont have a very good one 

if someone's views are based on channel 4 best film run downs that you have no opinion. 

Worst film ever..? Jaz and Silent Bob Strike Back comes to mind


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## kakuma (Nov 15, 2006)

fucking hell dub, you should be a soul singer, the amount of trouble that follows you round


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## hiccup (Nov 15, 2006)

kerb said:
			
		

> ...
> 
> Worst film ever..? Jaz and Silent Bob Strike Back comes to mind



I walked out of that film, and I was watching it at home.


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## kerb (Nov 15, 2006)

hiccup said:
			
		

> I walked out of that film, and I was watching it at home.



innit. i actually felt embarrassed for them all and my brother apologised for buying it for me. now thats bad


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

I've never walked out of a film.

Gladiator came close but everyone I was with loved it and there wasn't a pub nearby so I had a nap instead.  Bloody loud bits kept waking me up


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## Poi E (Nov 15, 2006)

Freddie Got Fingered has to be up there. Or down there, rather.


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## The Boy (Nov 15, 2006)

I'm gong to have a proper think about this, but the first thig that came to mind was the Start Wars trilogy.  Or the Bond movies.

Cannot fucking stand them.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> Fair point but I think if you're going to talk about the 'Worst fiilm _ever_', rather than 'Films I think are massively overrated', then I think an element of looking at how others respond to it comes into play.


In order to know which are the worst films ever, rather than the worst films I've seen, you'd need to have seen all the films ever made.  And I haven't.  Not even close.  And neither have you.



> Have you never listened to some music and thought 'well I can tell that there's something there, that it isn't just shit, but it really ain't my bag'?


Yes, of course.  And I've seen films like that, too.  

But not the ones I've listed; the ones I've listed are the Beatles of films.  The Emperor's New Clothes of Films.  People only think they like them because they know they're supposed to.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

The Boy said:
			
		

> I'm gong to have a proper think about this, but the first thig that came to mind was the Start Wars trilogy.  Or the Bond movies.
> 
> Cannot fucking stand them.


Good man.


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## kerb (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> People only think they like them because they know they're supposed to.



but on the flipside you get people who dislike films because they know they are not meant to.


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## 8ball (Nov 15, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> In order to know which are the worst films ever, rather than the worst films I've seen, you'd need to have seen all the films ever made.  And I haven't.  Not even close.  And neither have you.



Umm . . ok.  I haven't said anything that really contradicts that point, though.  




			
				danny la rouge said:
			
		

> . . . people only think they like them because they know they're supposed to.



So you don't think anyone really likes these films?
They just pretend to because the Guardian Film Guide told them to?
Fair enough, it's a bit of a 'pretentious elitist snob' attitude to have, though.


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## fear-n-loathing (Nov 15, 2006)

highwaymen is complete toss. the only time i've nearly walked out of the cinema, well second, one hour photo is very shit too


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## Idaho (Nov 15, 2006)

Difficult to know what's worse - overwrought pretention/overratedness, imaginationless adaptation/remake, or just plain shit.

The fifth element is in there somewhere. Peter Greenaway/David Lynch tortured nonsense will have a few offerings. 90% of V for Vendetta and Constantine too. And for the final catagory - has anyone had the misfortune to see the film Practical Magic?


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## danny la rouge (Nov 15, 2006)

8ball said:
			
		

> Umm . . ok.  I haven't said anything that really contradicts that point, though.


Didn't say you did.   



> So you don't think anyone really likes these films?
> They just pretend to because the Guardian Film Guide told them to?
> Fair enough, it's a bit of a 'pretentious elitist snob' attitude to have, though.


Some people like them; people have different tastes, obviously.  But a lot of people try to like them because they think they should.  We've all done that.  I tried to read _Finnegan's Wake_.  For longer than I should have.  But actually; it's rubbish.

And I think that's the opposite of a "pretentious elitist snob" attitude.  

~~~​
What's your favourite film?  Mine's _Harvey_, with Jimmy Stewart.


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## Cid (Nov 15, 2006)

Imo for something to qualify as worst film ever it can't just be overated or something you don't like because it doesn't appeal to you... It has to have something outstandingly bad about it that might negate any possibility of it being 'so bad it's funny'. It has to have no redeeming features, ie shit cinematography, shit soundtrack, shit acting. A lot of films mentioned so far have been pretty dreadful imo, but to be truly bad a film must be universally villified, fit only for utter contempt. There is, after all, some _very_ tough competition... For example I agree that American Beauty is shite, but it has a vaguely coherent (if pretty bad) storyline (unlike Battlefield Earth), Titanic is truly awful but has Leonardo DiCaprio dying in it (unlike Battlefield Earth), Star Wars III is absolutely dreadful with some of the worst scripting and editing ever (look at the fades between scenes) but it does have Yoda, and it's amusing watching Ewan McGregor being too bored to even bother trying to act (unlike Battlefield Earth). There is really no word that quite describes how awful that film is... Read The Groke's review.


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## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 15, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Spawn is up there



Agreed.  And I was really looking forward to it cos I liked the soundtrack.  

Made Blade look like the best film ever.

Worst film for me in terms of huge disappointment: Phantom Menace
Worst film in terms of everyone saying how great it was: Shakespeare in Love


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## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 15, 2006)

And as to films people like to be cool, I bring you: Pulp Fiction.

At the time it was out, everyone went on and on about how amazing it was.  But when people are talking about films now, and their faves, this is rarely, if ever, mentioned.


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## Idaho (Nov 15, 2006)

The Phantom Menace really was poor. Definately worthy of scorn.


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## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 15, 2006)

I remember someone (I think Orang Utan) saying that complaining about Phantom Menace was like moaning that Police Academy 7 was shit.  I (still) beg to differ.  The original Star Wars films, whilst not exactly Shakespearian, were iconic, and had a certain charisma and chemistry about them.  Phantom Menace was almost entirely lacking in anything like that.

I don't mind something being mindless.  To me a bit of mindless art is just as worthwhile as a bit of 'high' art when it's done well: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars originals, Die Hard.  

And I don't mind something being for kids: I love Toy Story, the Incredibles, even cheesy 80s films like Flight of the Navigator.

The Phantom Menace, though, managed the amazing feat of being both mindless and _boring_.  They had this cool villain, Darth Maul, yet we hardly saw him at all.  Half the film was taken up by people talking about tax blockades.  The pod race took way too much of the film.  Jar Jar Binks was just annoying, rather than funny.

Compare that with the original star wars film - the Cantina scene, Han Solo, Chewbacca, the Death Star destruction sequence - you can see that Phantom Menace was simply shit by comparison, it's not a matter of one always being crap in teh first place.


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## Pie 1 (Nov 16, 2006)

Paid to see: Ocean's 12. 
Possibly the most pointless film ever. Walked out towards the end as I wanted to catch last orders.


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## Flashman (Nov 16, 2006)

With the amount of drivel on offer from cinema history, some very odd choices being thrown up; "overrated" I grant you, but worst filums ever?

Some more:

*Cool as Ice*
Grease II
Barb Wire
Anaconda
Ishtar
Armageddon
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Hudson Hawk
The Three Amigos


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## felixthecat (Nov 16, 2006)

Flashman said:
			
		

> With the amount of drivel on offer from cinema history, some very odd choices being thrown up; "overrated" I grant you, but worst filums ever?
> 
> Some more:
> 
> ...



Now I thoroughly enjoyed Anaconda. It was so bad it was entertaining!


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## Dirty Martini (Nov 16, 2006)

It's Boxing Helena, no question.


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## Flashman (Nov 16, 2006)

I definitely subscribe to the so bad it's good philosophy, although there's no way I could sit through Armageddon again. I do like Deep Impact though which is similar.


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## shakespearegirl (Nov 16, 2006)

I went to the premiere of Armagedon. Deciding in advance it was going to be utter tosh we got quite pissed and agreed the group of us would go in so our client saw us attend and then leave and go back to the bar. Unfortunately we were sat right in front of the client and had to stay for the entire awful film.


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## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 16, 2006)

Flashman said:
			
		

> With the amount of drivel on offer from cinema history, some very odd choices being thrown up; "overrated" I grant you, but worst filums ever?
> 
> Some more:
> 
> ...



But personally I think it's much more interesting to look at the chronically overrated rather than films that everyone knew were poppycock in the first place.


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## Flashman (Nov 16, 2006)

But this thread is about the worst films ever made, not the chronically overrated half-decent ones that have at least some merit.

The likes of Dr Strangelove being in such a thread is absurd, frankly.


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## pk (Nov 16, 2006)

"Romeo Must Die" ranks as one of the most shite films I've seen for a while.

Went to see "Deep Water" ?? (the low budget one about the sharks and that scuba couple) and was so incredulous that any cunt could actually charge someone to see it, we walked out at the end and got a full refund!


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## Yetman (Nov 16, 2006)

firky said:
			
		

> any steven seagal film



Nah, Under Siege (2?) has got Erika Elinacks enormous tits in it. 

That automatically removes it from the 'worst' category to the 'would be worst but features a cracking pair of norks' category 

I vote for that shit film with the dragons in that was out a few years back. Utter chod.

And Carry On films, I hate them too


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## Louloubelle (Nov 16, 2006)

I'm a great fan of Broken Blossoms but I can't forgive Griffiths for this piece of filth 







I hate the film more that I can say, partly because the specatcle, cinematography and direction are awesome and could have been used to make a great film.  The representation of African Americans and the explicitly, viciously racist themes in the film that turn it into something horrific beyond belief. The film is used to this day to recruit people into the KKK to this day and I think it's important to see and understand as a piece of propoganda.

So I can't deny that the film is 'good' in some respects, you can't argue with the fact that it represented a milestone in cinema, however it's legacy is poison and I would like to think that Broken Blossoms was griffith's apology to the world for making such a viciously racist film. 

Other films I hate, for their one dimensional, racist stereotypes 

Raid on Entebbe

True Lies

Live and Let Die

And just for being a really, really crap film (although it's also about the 'secret occult powers' of native amaericans) 
The Manitou


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## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

'Churchill: The Hollywood Years' has to be up there with the shittiest films ever.


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## Donna Ferentes (Nov 16, 2006)

Louloubelle said:
			
		

>


Isn't that a bloody stupid place to ride a horse?


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## Bomber (Nov 16, 2006)

Gone with the Wind !!  Utter shite, overated garbage, left me scarred for life when my parents took me to see it and I have never got over it !!


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## Lea (Nov 16, 2006)

Wim Wender's The Wings of Desire (Les Ailes de Desir)


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## kerb (Nov 16, 2006)

Bomber said:
			
		

> Gone with the Wind !!  Utter shite, overated garbage, left me scarred for life when my parents took me to see it and I have never got over it !!




gees man. how old are you?


----------



## Pie 1 (Nov 16, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> 'Churchill: The Hollywood Years' has to be up there with the shittiest films ever.



Oh fuck, yes. I'd sucessfully blanked that from my memory until i read your post!
I remember renting it & me & Mrs Pie just watching it going 'WTF '


----------



## mauvais (Nov 16, 2006)

Hackers. It's quite clearly Hackers.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 16, 2006)

Is that the one with the inline skating baddy?


----------



## mauvais (Nov 16, 2006)

Possibly.






And a set of goalkeeper top wearing no-marks. Like err, Jonny Lee Miller, and err, Angelina Jolie!


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

Those stupid ones about spoilt rich kids racing cars. The ones that look like video games. I can't remember the names of them, and don't particularly want to, as they're both fucking ludicrous (yes, unbelievably, the appalling original spawned a sequel).


----------



## PacificOcean (Nov 16, 2006)

Blair Witch 2 was terrible and utterly pointless after the (I thought) quite good orignal.

When A Stranger Calls which was in the cinema recently is the only film I have walked out off.  It was so boring.


----------



## Louloubelle (Nov 16, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> Isn't that a bloody stupid place to ride a horse?




LOL


----------



## Bomber (Nov 16, 2006)

kerb said:
			
		

> gees man. how old are you?



 48 you cheeky little twerp !!


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 16, 2006)

Yetman said:
			
		

> I vote for that shit film with the dragons in that was out a few years back. Utter chod.



Do you mean Reign of Fire?

Yeah.  

I really got taken in by the poster for that.

Pissed off with London, struggling into work on the tube, I suddenly see a poster for a film involving huge dragons burning London to the ground, fighting against helicopter gunships.  It sounded utterly immense.

The actual film though was seriously anticlimactic compared to what the poster conveyed.  The poster was IMO the greatest film ad poster ever.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi-ASL said:
			
		

> Those stupid ones about spoilt rich kids racing cars. The ones that look like video games. I can't remember the names of them, and don't particularly want to, as they're both fucking ludicrous (yes, unbelievably, the appalling original spawned a sequel).



2 fast 2 furious.  yes - awful 

i tried to watch one and it was the only film i've switched off after a mere 10 minutes.  action films for daily mail readers.


----------



## killer b (Nov 16, 2006)

Flashman said:
			
		

> *Cool as Ice*


i thought this was suprisingly enjoyable - a stylised update of 'the wild one', or something of that sort.

the performances in the film weren't much cop, mind...


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> 2 fast 2 furious.  yes - awful
> 
> i tried to watch one and it was the only film i've switched off after a mere 10 minutes.  action films for daily mail readers.


A friend of a friend brought the first one round. He's really into his cars, and thought this film was the best thing since sliced bread. Like you, we watched as much as we could stand - about 20 minutes, I think - whilst making sarcastic comments and laughing down our sleeves, as the friend of a friend grew ever more irate and ever redder in the face. Then we turned it off ("er, let's put some music on..."). He took the DVD and went off home in a huff.

I remember clearly my last words to him:

"Are you going home, such-a-body?"

*"YES I FUCKING AM!!!"* Glare, glare  

I may pee my pants just thinking about it.


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 16, 2006)

After Watching Red Sojnya I decided to hate every arnie film ever with the exeption of Predator.


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

The Running Man? That one set on Mars? Fabulous.


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 16, 2006)

Total Recal, largely shit only funny because it has b-movie stalwart Michael Ironside in it. And running man was dire.


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

I disagree. Two great comic-book fantasies.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Nov 16, 2006)

Mimic


----------



## Flashman (Nov 16, 2006)

Oh I like Total Recall, marvellous SCiFI nonsense.


----------



## KellyDJ (Nov 16, 2006)

Streetfighter


----------



## Idaho (Nov 16, 2006)

Flashman said:
			
		

> But this thread is about the worst films ever made, not the chronically overrated half-decent ones that have at least some merit.
> 
> The likes of Dr Strangelove being in such a thread is absurd, frankly.


It's just DLR trying to be an iconoclastic barb in the collective urban conciousness. He's rubbish at it 

Matrix 3 must be up there with films that dissapointed so throughly.


----------



## billy_bob (Nov 16, 2006)

Whichever of Oliver Stone's pompous overblown fatuous patronising wastes of celluloid is longest.


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

billy_bob said:
			
		

> Whichever of Oliver Stone's pompous overblown fatuous patronising wastes of celluloid is longest.


I think that, again, those fall under the banner of 'films that are actually quite good but which I, [insert username], don't particularly like'.

Can you all lower your standards, please?


----------



## billy_bob (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi-ASL said:
			
		

> I think that, again, those fall under the banner of 'films that are actually quite good but which I, [insert username], don't particularly like'.
> 
> Can you all lower your standards, please?



No, I'm afraid you're incorrect.  The work of Oliver Stone is self-indulgent, ponderous, repetitive and obvious.  Thanks to his self-importance and his inability to treat his audience as intelligent, however, it is dressed up as meaningful, artistic, challenging and powerful.  That's probably why you've become confused and think his films are "actually quite good".


----------



## g force (Nov 16, 2006)

"The Legend of Bagger Vance"

In my defence it was a free...no wait...there is no defence


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Nov 16, 2006)

killer b said:
			
		

> i thought this was suprisingly enjoyable - a stylised update of 'the wild one', or something of that sort.
> 
> the performances in the film weren't much cop, mind...



Too fucking right. Cool as ice is a work of pure geunis. 

It has a fight where every conection makes a hip hop noise. It is the prize of my VHS collection.


----------



## Mr Retro (Nov 16, 2006)

Worst I paid to see was "Age of Innocence"


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 16, 2006)

That's a great film!


----------



## undercover (Nov 16, 2006)

KellyDJ said:
			
		

> Streetfighter


I was nearly in that as an extra, went for an "audition" when they were filming it in bangkok, and got to prance around in one of those blue/black cammo suits before failing to make the cut.... 

Their loss though, as without me in it, it sunk to the depths of being mentioned on a worst film of all time thread...


----------



## bus (Nov 16, 2006)

i dunno really. i'm a prejeudiced opiniated bastard when it comes to films, so there's loads i just won't watch, on the basis that they look arse/have an arse in them/are likely to be arse/the last fim the directo made was arse etc etc, so there's lots i'm sure i would have thought were the worst films ever if i'd watched them...streetfighter, end of days, total recall etc etc.

worst i've seen are pitch black, slither, xxx ( a rare occasion when i broke the arse principle and watched it) and star wars....any of the fuckers, they're all unwatchable dross.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 16, 2006)

Pitch Black is a class B movie even if it does have Vin Diesel in it


----------



## Belushi (Nov 16, 2006)

> Blair Witch 2 was terrible and utterly pointless after the (I thought) quite good orignal.



Aye I saw it for the first time recently and its utter arse.

The worst film I've seen recently is that Alexander one, fucking awful.  

And those new Star Wars movies are laughably bad.


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 16, 2006)

So we're all agreed it's American Beauty then?


----------



## Yetman (Nov 16, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> Do you mean Reign of Fire?
> 
> Yeah.
> 
> ...



YES!! Thats the fucker 

They must have realised it was shit and then paid for some top ad people to come and get people to see it by using a great advert 

Fucks. I hated it.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 16, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> So we're all agreed it's American Beauty then?


No, it's Face/Off


----------



## nino_savatte (Nov 16, 2006)

I proposed _Junior_ but I'm going to stick my neck out and nominate _Species_; a film that appears to be centred on male fears of female sexuality. Alost every scene is a reference to this fear. Shocking, absolutely shocking.


----------



## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

'Howard the Duck' was probably one of the worst films I ever had to sit through at the pictures.  

Fucking awful.


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> So we're all agreed it's American Beauty then?






			
				Orang Utan said:
			
		

> No, it's Face/Off


Look, are we not confusing rubbish with brilliant now? Are you seriously saying that these films are worse than, say, 'Speed 2: Cruise Control'? I mean, _fuck off_...


----------



## tommers (Nov 16, 2006)

Showdown in Little Tokyo starring Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee.

The highlight is after dolph has slept with the love interest and she turns to him and says "that time I heard you coming!"  (him having snuck up on her earlier in the film.)

pure.  class.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 16, 2006)

Face/Off has two of the worst actors ever in it and they are even worse when they're pretending to be each other. I was amazed at how dull an action film could be.


----------



## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Face/Off has two of the worst actors ever in it and they are even worse when they're pretending to be each other. I was amazed at how dull an action film could be.



I thought it was a crackin' flick.


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

Yeah me too 

As for 'American Beauty': the cinematography in that film is amongst the best I've ever seen. Pure candy for the eyes, but the film still has a lot more to it.


----------



## Red Horse (Nov 16, 2006)

Stanley Edwards said:
			
		

> What was that film where Magnum PI played an Irish settler in Australia???
> 
> QUOTE]
> At first glance I thought that was a film with Tom Selleck playing an Irish setter in Australia which sounded brilliant


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 16, 2006)

Quigley Down Under?


----------



## CharlieAddict (Nov 16, 2006)

'hush' is pretty shit too.


----------



## Red Horse (Nov 16, 2006)

Poi E said:
			
		

> Freddie Got Fingered has to be up there. Or down there, rather.


Bollocks, thats a very funny fillum.
As for genuinely bad: 
-Hamburger Hill
-Love Actually (and all those nauseating Hugh Grant made-for-yank films with foppish cunts living living on the South Bank working in a right on job, they are truly shit and give impressionable people abroad a very warped idea of what goes on in England)
-Dude wheres my car


----------



## danny la rouge (Nov 16, 2006)

Idaho said:
			
		

> It's just DLR trying to be an iconoclastic barb in the collective urban conciousness. He's rubbish at it


If I have saved just one person from having to sit through Bladerunner, then my work is done.


----------



## The Boy (Nov 16, 2006)

Gone in 60 seconds.
No Retreat No Surrender 3
Roadhouse.

Will be back with more nominations later.


----------



## Red Horse (Nov 16, 2006)

Seems like a good premise...


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

'Truly, Madly, Deeply': some bullshit love story about ghosts or something 'starring' Alan Rickman. I remember it only for Rickman's performance in one, solitary _excruuuuuciating_ scene. I've plucked this description of it from IMDB, where it stands as the sole voice of reason, bordered on all sides by silly bitches bashing on about how lovely the film is:



> http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0103129/usercomments?start=70
> 
> Am I alone in hating this movie? Or is it because I come from the same part of London as these characters? If someone asked me to hop and tell them my life story in 30 seconds, I know what two word answer I'd give them.


I think I was only about 10 when I saw that scene but, even then, I paused in horror with my chips halfway to my mouth, watching this cretin hopping along telling the simpering cow he was with where he grew up, and so on, and thought:

"What a cunt".

To this day my feelings are unchanged.


----------



## CharlieAddict (Nov 16, 2006)

The Boy said:
			
		

> Gone in 60 seconds.
> No Retreat No Surrender 3
> *Roadhouse.*
> 
> Will be back with more nominations later.



no way is roadhouse _that _bad! 
karate kid III should be on the list.


----------



## The Boy (Nov 16, 2006)

CharlieAddict said:
			
		

> no way is roadhouse _that _bad!
> karate kid III should be on the list.




Roadhouse is unmitigated shite.  Granted it occasionaly makes me laugh which may make it unsuitablefor this thread.

I agree with KK III


----------



## nino_savatte (Nov 16, 2006)

*More*

_The Green Berets_ - Starring John Wayne. This is essentially a liaison between the Pentagon and Hollywood to present the Vietnam War as 'just'. Proof that Hollywood isn't a hotbed of communism, liberalism or whichever 'ism' is on the right's shitlist for the week.

_XXX _- Vin Diesel shouts, punches and shoots his way through a typical Hollywood actioner that has the barest of storylines and even worse acting.
_
Breathless_ - Unnecessary Hollywood remake of the French Nouveau Vague classic _A Bout de Souffle_. It stars the Dali Lama's arse-kisser-in-chief, Richard Gere.


----------



## Fez909 (Nov 16, 2006)

A few contenders:


Dances With Wolves (admittedly I saw this when very young so I may be wrong,but I doubt it)
Mortal Kombat

Resident Evil

But the worst for me is an obscure one which annoyingly I can't remember the name of. It was a low budget British horror film where a Jason-like masked serial killer falls in love with a blind girl. Truly truly awful. Anyone know the name?


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 16, 2006)

i thought roadhouse was beauitfully bad. terribly entertaining etc


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

Fez909 said:
			
		

> But the worst for me is an obscure one which annoyingly I can't remember the name of. It was a low budget British horror film where a Jason-like masked serial killer falls in love with a blind girl. Truly truly awful. Anyone know the name?


Manhunter!?? It's brilliant! You're not thinking of that, surely!??


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi-ASL said:
			
		

> Manhunter!?? It's brilliant! You're not thinking of that, surely!??




IIRC the guy out of Manhunter (red dragon was de book) had a cleft plate and a hare lip. Not a mask. And it was fucking brilliant


----------



## damnhippie (Nov 16, 2006)

Mortal Kombat

An American Haunting

some terrible low-budget horror film called The Ticks, about giant ticks sucking people's blood, starring Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. In retrospect, the warning signs were there...

some Italian horror film called The Church, which ended with a woman having sex with a big rubber Satan puppet.

anything with Kevin Costner in it.

ETA: anything about people coming to terms with something.


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 16, 2006)

damnhippie said:
			
		

> some terrible low-budget horror film called The Ticks, about giant ticks sucking people's blood, starring Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. In retrospect, the warning signs were there...


lols


----------



## Fez909 (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi-ASL said:
			
		

> Manhunter!?? It's brilliant! You're not thinking of that, surely!??



Nah, s'not that.


----------



## PacificOcean (Nov 16, 2006)

damnhippie said:
			
		

> Mortal Kombat



It's funny about horses for courses as that is one of my all time favourite films.  I think the DVD has warn through now.

"FINISH HIM!"


----------



## Idaho (Nov 16, 2006)

My brother went to see Sleepless in Seattle once. I asked him how it was.

"Shit in Seattle" he replied.

On the same note, Ms Idaho likes to go and see Rom-Coms but she says that Maid in Manhatten pushed her tolerances to breaking point.


----------



## tommers (Nov 16, 2006)

Fez909 said:
			
		

> [*]Resident Evil



resident evil?!?!  fine film that!


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Nov 16, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Face/Off has two of the worst actors ever in it and they are even worse when they're pretending to be each other. I was amazed at how dull an action film could be.



This is very true but there are many many many worse films that have been made.


----------



## Kenny Vermouth (Nov 16, 2006)

Eraserhead


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 16, 2006)

only a few have compared with the utterly mindblowing premise of the OP


----------



## Flashman (Nov 16, 2006)

I still can't believe a mate and I saw Roadhouse three fucking times at the flickers. FFS.


----------



## Yetman (Nov 16, 2006)

Kenny Vermouth said:
			
		

> Eraserhead



I've got that on vid, was gonna watch it soon.....is it really shit? I'm a fan of lynch but not in his fucked up 'work everything out for yourself' films.

And if we are talking non-cinema releases then has anyone seen Octopus 3? Or Overboard with Adam Sandler? Or any of those 4 DVD's for £1 packs?


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 16, 2006)

Eraserhead is brilliant


----------



## undercover (Nov 16, 2006)

I vaguely remember Bloodbath at the House of Death being spectactularly awful, but having just looked it up for the first time in probably 20 years, i have a strange craving to see it again just to confirm that.

I'm sure that the stars of Kenny Everett and Pamela Stephenson will prove my memory right...


----------



## nino_savatte (Nov 16, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Eraserhead is brilliant



Seconded.


----------



## Idaho (Nov 16, 2006)

I have remembered what the worst film ever is!

Shopping with Jude Law.

What a load of British Cinema nonsense that was. Meaningless crap set to a wafer thin backdrop which emphasised style-over-substance but yet lacked any real style.


----------



## Idaho (Nov 16, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Eraserhead is brilliant


Never seen it but I know I would hate it. Looks all tortured and meaningful. You can just imagine the director thinking - "oh this will be really harrowing to watch, they will probably have nightmares for a week or two after - and yet still it will have absolutely no meaning"


----------



## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

Yetman said:
			
		

> I've got that on vid, was gonna watch it soon.....is it really shit? I'm a fan of lynch but not in his fucked up 'work everything out for yourself' films.



Brilliant and quite disturbing.


----------



## The Boy (Nov 16, 2006)

damnhippie said:
			
		

> some terrible low-budget horror film called The Ticks, about giant ticks sucking people's blood, starring Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. In retrospect, the warning signs were there...




NO FUCKING WAY!!!!

seen that a coupla times when stoned and I reckon it falls in the so bad it's good category. 

In fact, it does.  It's a simple unalienable (is that even a word) truth.


----------



## Yetman (Nov 16, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Eraserhead is brilliant



Nice one, I'll watch it soon then


----------



## kerb (Nov 16, 2006)

Bomber said:
			
		

> 48 you cheeky little twerp !!




aw sorry bomber. i just thought that was released in the forties and you might have been say 14, then add on 60 years and spank me sally, you'd be a pensioner  

and thats _young_ twerp oldie


----------



## Boogie Boy (Nov 16, 2006)

Bladerunner - over rated special effects festival masquerading as a story (even allowing for the end speech by Hauer).

BB


----------



## Mogden (Nov 16, 2006)

The Perfect Storm - Too much schmaltz
Crash, the 2004 film - It lived up to its name but not in the way they'd hoped
The Watcher - Not Keanu's finest hour


----------



## damnhippie (Nov 16, 2006)

The Boy said:
			
		

> NO FUCKING WAY!!!!
> 
> seen that a coupla times when stoned and I reckon it falls in the so bad it's good category.
> 
> In fact, it does.  It's a simple unalienable (is that even a word) truth.



heh! i saw Ticks not-stoned...which was my second mistake


----------



## Flashman (Nov 16, 2006)

Oh and _Closer_, utterly shite from start to finish, can't quite believe Marber wrote it.


----------



## Groucho (Nov 16, 2006)

Another vote for Forest Gump.


----------



## 8ball (Nov 16, 2006)

I really didn't mind Forest Gump but it really seems to wind some people up.
Same goes for Independence Day and Pitch Black, they all seemed like passable examples of their genre.  Plus I really enjoyed Face/Off.

I'm never going to live this down


----------



## Flashman (Nov 17, 2006)

I liked both the Riddick films, Chronicles was obviously big budget city in comparison. Hope they make another, I'd like to see how he goes as leader of the Necromongers.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 17, 2006)

Flashman said:
			
		

> Oh and _Closer_, utterly shite from start to finish, can't quite believe Marber wrote it.



Yes, this was a poor film wasn't it?  The whole thing seemed totally staged, not really believable at all.  And very wooden.


----------



## Flashman (Nov 17, 2006)

Yeah, I thought for a while that the fact that it was a play originally might have  had something to do with your description, but realised actually no, it was just shite. Unbelievable characters, poorly written and dreadfully performed by all, Law and Owen particularly.

Horrid. Avoid at all costs.


----------



## 8den (Nov 17, 2006)

El Sueno said:
			
		

> I'll say it again - Battlefield Earth.
> 
> Boring/maddeningly frustrating to watch whereas your typical 'crap film' is usually pretty funny.



Christ cavemen fighting in F16s.... I am a fan of bad movies but jesus.

Ladies and Gentlemen the worst film in the world is one you've never seen, is fatal deviation. 

An incredibly appalling sub Jean Clad Van Damme film called "Fatal Deviation" a young man comes home from a trip away, to discover his town overrun with a criminal gang, falling in love with the local beauty, he is pushed into confronting the gang, and er enter a martial arts contest run by some monks. 

And it's set and filmed in rural Ireland. 

Seriously imagine the production values of a DfES video, the acting of a porno, the stunt work of halfwitted chimps, and one of the guys from Boyzone playing the villian, and you literally have the worst film ever made.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 17, 2006)

Flashman said:
			
		

> Yeah, I thought for a while that the fact that it was a play originally might have  had something to do with your description, but realised actually no, it was just shite. Unbelievable characters, poorly written and dreadfully performed by all, Law and Owen particularly.
> 
> Horrid. Avoid at all costs.



Yes, it's no wonder Americans avoid watching British films if they're fed stuff like that.

I'm going to make all Americans I meet watch Dead Man's Shoes, just to prove we can do films that match their best.


----------



## MikeMcc (Nov 17, 2006)

Seconded on Battlefield Earth, I like sci-fi even when most of it is un-mitigated crap.  But that one really took the biscuit, absolutely appalling in every sense!


----------



## Hi-ASL (Nov 17, 2006)

Mogden said:
			
		

> The Perfect Storm - Too much schmaltz


I don't agree. There wasn't nearly as much schmaltz as there was in _The Day After Tomorrow_. That was an ice-laden schmaltz overload. Which sounds quite tasty. But it wasn't.


----------



## Griff (Nov 17, 2006)

Here's another fucking awful one:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274430/

Suppoedly captuing the London club scene in 1993. Total crap with some of the worst script evah! 

I really wanted my money back from the video shop man.


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 17, 2006)




----------



## Idaho (Nov 17, 2006)

You really want a row about American Beauty don't you 

I watched half of it once. It seemed alright.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 17, 2006)

He loves it - just indulge him Idaho - say it was brilliant and that Kevin Spacey is a genius


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 17, 2006)

Discourse upon its realism and integrity.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 17, 2006)

Yeah, that'll do it


----------



## Idaho (Nov 17, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> He loves it - just indulge him Idaho - say it was brilliant and that Kevin Spacey is a genius


The bit I saw had Kevin knocking one out while dreaming of some bird in the bath.

It was some kind of sublime statement on the fragility of the human soul.


----------



## Taxamo Welf (Nov 17, 2006)

BlackSpecs said:
			
		

> *Congo* !!! ...." Amie , scared....Amie....loves........................you!"


fucking brilliant!


----------



## david dissadent (Nov 18, 2006)

I love soooooo many of the films on these lists, some of them honestly like Blade Runner and some of them in the they're crap but good in the Pitch Black sense. God Im even a fan of Independence Day. 

Along with Birth of a Nation, Triumph of the Will are examples of great art harnessed by great wrong, but the same can be said for Battleship Potemkin and even Ben Hur. 

But crap in the sevice of wrong has to be Red Scorpion. Produced by a man who took native americans money they gave him to help them and used some of it to fund sniper training for settlers on the west bank, funded with the help of the appartheid government.......... starring Dolf Lungrin........ 

A personal hounerable mention goes out to Miss Congeniality "Beautiful people have feeling too".

And any film that squeezes in a rape scene pretending to be abhored by it, but using it to titalate.


----------



## Kenny Vermouth (Nov 18, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Eraserhead is brilliant


It's fucking awful, virtually unwatchable.

I also thought Lost in Translation was toilet.


----------



## Kenny Vermouth (Nov 18, 2006)

Films which are better than Eraserhead:

Bullseye
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Beverly Hills Cop 3
Rambo
Police Academy 5
That one about bees starring Michael Caine
Big
Loaded Weapon
Big Trouble in Little China


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 18, 2006)

What's _Dirty Rotten Scoundrels_ doing in that list?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 18, 2006)

I was also not keen on Eraserhead.  I thought it was just being odd for the sake of being odd.


----------



## 8ball (Nov 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

>



I get the sense you weren't over keen on this, dub.


----------



## Kenny Vermouth (Nov 18, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> What's _Dirty Rotten Scoundrels_ doing in that list?


It's better than Eraserhead.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 18, 2006)

My point is that I assume it was a list of lousy films. All the rest fit into that category. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels doesn't (though they'd have had a better ending if they'd simply cut out the last scene).


----------



## Andy the Don (Nov 18, 2006)

Green Street..

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385002/

The ICF meets Lord of the Rings..

Only Lord of the Rings was more believable.


----------



## Griff (Nov 18, 2006)

Andy the Don said:
			
		

> Green Street..




Curiosity got the better of me, and I had to get it out.

Yep, totally crap.


----------



## cyberfairy (Nov 18, 2006)

The Passion Of The Christ. Hours and hours  of Christ wandering around with a cross looking a bit mardy.


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 18, 2006)

cyberfairy said:
			
		

> The Passion Of The Christ. Hours and hours  of Christ wandering around with a cross looking a bit mardy.




If you have bit torrent, can i recommend you have a look at this? 

http://www.negativland.com/mashin/howto.htm


----------



## cyberfairy (Nov 18, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> If you have bit torrent, can i recommend you have a look at this?
> 
> http://www.negativland.com/mashin/howto.htm


Looks intriguing


----------



## DrRingDing (Nov 18, 2006)

Boondock Saints. Worst. Film. Ever.

Unless you have the mental age of a 12 year old school boy.


----------



## cyberfairy (Nov 20, 2006)

Maybe not the worst film ever, but watching a spectacuarly rubbish version of Lorna Doone with Martin Clunes in it at the moment. But I've paid for it so will damn well watch it to the end


----------



## mauvais (Nov 26, 2006)

I've just remembered! Conan the fucking Destroyer is the worst film ever!

It's on Channel Five now. I wonder if we've had the bit where Arnie battles the robot puppet fish yet.


----------



## blamblam (Nov 26, 2006)

killer b said:
			
		

> south west 9
> 
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0297403/


fuck that film was so bad.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Nov 26, 2006)

Good fun for spotting known Brixton faces though...my favourite bit was during that awful slapstick scene with the rubber chicken on Atlantic Road, in the background, the old lady from the newsagents on Coldharbour Lane was pissing herself laughing.


----------



## bellator (Nov 26, 2006)

cyberfairy said:
			
		

> The Passion Of The Christ. Hours and hours  of Christ wandering around with a cross looking a bit mardy.



That film made me cry soo much. I'm such a wuss.
I know this is gonna upset my other half as well as loads of urbs but I thought Bladerunner was shite!!!




*cowers behind sofa with cats for protection*


----------



## Witness01 (Nov 26, 2006)

Hatchet Man.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Nov 26, 2006)

Popeye...I took some kids on a playscheme to see it and started poking myself in the eyes with discarded lollysticks for light relief it was so dire...it was Robert Altman too.....


----------



## Farmer Giles (Nov 26, 2006)

The Swarm
Football Factory


----------



## Witness01 (Nov 26, 2006)

Hostel was pretty terrible.


----------



## marksl (Nov 26, 2006)

then there are films so bad they achive cult status for being the worst, plan 9 from outer space is great comedy.


----------



## Ms Ana (Nov 26, 2006)

Andy the Don said:
			
		

> Green Street..
> 
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385002/
> 
> ...



dear god. i had totally forgotten about the existence of this film. i kept watching it, thinking it would get better but no.
why cast a fucking hobbit as a football hooligan?


----------



## Utopia (Nov 27, 2006)

Casino Royale 

The product placement was just....cheap really, love story....was just weak really, all the excellent reviews its has had......wrong clearly!.

Methinks the good reviews & the backing of major companies was possibly linked?!?!?!


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 27, 2006)

Utopia said:
			
		

> Methinks the good reviews & the backing of major companies was possibly linked?!?!?!


Bollocks!


----------



## k_s (Nov 27, 2006)

Get rich or die trying

example scene:
50 cent kills, like, 20 colombian gangsters coz he wants their business. Cut to fiddy sitting by a roadside looking pensive as a voicover comes in: "I had it all, but somehow, something was missing...". Poor lamb!


----------



## Utopia (Nov 27, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Bollocks!




Why?, is it a complete impossibility they could be linked?


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 27, 2006)

Utopia said:
			
		

> Why?, is it a complete impossibility they could be linked?


Yes, it's a stupid assumption to make that only conspiraloons give weight to.
There are plenty of good reviews on the net and on this site anyway.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 27, 2006)

Exactly, plus there are dozens of films with major product placement etc that get utterly slated in reviews...


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 27, 2006)

...


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 27, 2006)

k_s said:
			
		

> Get rich or die trying
> 
> example scene:
> 50 cent kills, like, 20 colombian gangsters coz he wants their business. Cut to fiddy sitting by a roadside looking pensive as a voicover comes in: "I had it all, but somehow, something was missing...". Poor lamb!




possibly the last film i would ever watch.


----------



## Utopia (Nov 27, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> Exactly, plus there are dozens of films with major product placement etc that get utterly slated in reviews...




Such as?


----------



## Reno (Nov 27, 2006)

Utopia said:
			
		

> Such as?



Nearly every big budget Hollywood film has product placement these days, most of them don't get rave reviews and you are getting a bit tiresome pushing your "theory".


----------



## Spandex (Nov 27, 2006)

Utopia said:
			
		

> Such as?


This years remake of _The Pink Panther_ featured product placement by: adidas, Apple, Axe, Chanel, Citroën, Dell, Gretsch, Holiday Inn, Kodak, Lion King, McDonald's, Montblanc, MSN, Newsweek, Nextel, Nikon, Perrier, Philips, Piaggio, Pilot, Post-It Notes, PPS Publications, Renault, Smart, Star Magazine, T.G.I. Friday's, Toyota, USA Today, Viagra, Virgin, Volkswagen, Waldorf-Astoria (link)

The critics hated it. As did everyone else.


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 27, 2006)

I think Utopia may be right - look at the shockingly blatant product placement in Supersize Me and that got rave reviews. There's something sinister afoot.....


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 28, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> I think Utopia may be right - look at the shockingly blatant product placement in Supersize Me and that got rave reviews. There's something sinister afoot.....


----------



## keybored (Nov 28, 2006)

Crack in the Mirror (UK title).


----------



## jessie7 (Nov 29, 2006)

Open Water.

Im all for shark movies but that was just...i almost fell asleep


----------



## prunus (Nov 29, 2006)

Dirty Martini said:
			
		

> It's Boxing Helena, no question.



Ah  - been scrolling through to see if anyone had already fingered thisun before I added it.

Seconded.  Unbe-fucking-lievabley bad.  Shit 'concept' (I'm not going to deign to call it a plot).  Acting that makes you want to reach down your throat and pull out your intestines in order to be able to strangle yourself to get away from it. And the 'twist' at the end:  this it not a spoiler - coz there's nothing to spoil - 'he woke up and it was all a dream'.  No, really, it was written by your 6 year old cousin.


----------



## PacificOcean (Nov 29, 2006)

jessie7 said:
			
		

> Open Water.
> 
> Im all for shark movies but that was just...i almost fell asleep



And the lying posters didn't help "Blair Witch meets Jaws" indeed.

The Blair Witch reference being to the shit camerwork rather than any spookyness.


----------



## bigbry (Nov 29, 2006)

In early nineties my other half and I went to pictures after working in a pub on a Saturday night.  The only film still to start when  we arrived (about ten past midnight) was The Ladybugs starring(?) Rodney Dangerfield.  Film about a young girls' football team in USA.

We were the only ones in the cinema - after 15 minutes of the film we knew why - it was total shit !!!


----------



## dash (Nov 29, 2006)

That film with Sigourney Weaver and the talking gorilla was pretty bad.


----------



## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

dash said:
			
		

> That film with Sigourney Weaver and the talking gorilla was pretty bad.



The gorillas in the Diane Fossey biopic Gorillas In The Mist weren't talking. I think you are mixing this up with Congo, which didn't star Weaver.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

Spandex said:
			
		

> This years remake of _The Pink Panther_ featured product placement by: adidas, Apple, Axe, Chanel, Citroën, Dell, Gretsch, Holiday Inn, Kodak, Lion King, McDonald's, Montblanc, MSN, Newsweek, Nextel, Nikon, Perrier, Philips, Piaggio, Pilot, Post-It Notes, PPS Publications, Renault, Smart, Star Magazine, T.G.I. Friday's, Toyota, USA Today, Viagra, Virgin, Volkswagen, Waldorf-Astoria (link)
> 
> The critics hated it. As did everyone else.



that was the only way that piece of shit was going to make any money.

it could have been a fucking masterpiece and i would have still hated the idea of it. would never see this


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

Mrs Magpie said:
			
		

> Good fun for spotting known Brixton faces though...my favourite bit was during that awful slapstick scene with the rubber chicken on Atlantic Road, in the background, the old lady from the newsagents on Coldharbour Lane was pissing herself laughing.



The young girl in it - the only one who could act, IIRC - is our office manager 

she's a TAD embarassed.

Worst thing about SW9 is that it's such a missed opportunity. it could have been alright - they'd done their research, drafted in the locals, got some real events tied in. 

And then just totally fucked it.


----------



## User 301X/5.1 (Nov 29, 2006)

"AI" was total toss.

But worth watching just for the comedy "what the fuck is this shit" value.


----------



## dash (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> The gorillas in the Diane Fossey biopic Gorillas In The Mist weren't talking. I think you are mixing this up with Congo, which didn't star Weaver.



Yes you're right, the film was Congo.

"Bad gorillas! Go 'way!"

'Species' was duff too.

Ben Kingsley: "Something bad happened here . . ." Indeed.


----------



## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

dash said:
			
		

> Yes you're right, the film was Congo.
> 
> "Bad gorillas! Go 'way!"
> 
> ...



Both are bad films, but quite enjoyable after a few beers (I have a soft spot for Species in particular)  and like 99% of the film mentioned here they are far from the worst film ever made.

You guys have got to watch more films, because most of you are simply talking about films you didn't like and some of you are mentioning films simply to provoce a reaction.  The worst film ever made would have to be technically incompetent on every level, terribly acted, boring offensive and ugly to look at and the likes of Blade Runner, A.I. or American Beauty just don't cut it.

Check out something like "SS: Experiment Love Camp" or any film by Doris Wishman (The Amazing Transplant, Deadly Weapons) if you want to get close.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

it's amazing the desire of people on this thread to suggest extremely popular or critically acclaimed films as 'the worst film ever.' they must realise that they are not, even if they do hate them personally, so much more because they know they are being _different_ and thinking _independently_. big fucking deal. this is about the worst film ever, not about people's insecurities and desire to be different


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> Both are bad films, but quite enjoyable after a few beers (I have a soft spot for Species in particular)  and like 99% of the film mentioned here they are far from the worst film ever made.
> 
> You guys have got to watch more films, because most of you are simply talking about films you didn't like and some of you are mentioning films simply to provoce a reaction.  The worst film ever made would have to be technically incompetent on every level, terribly acted, boring offensive and ugly to look at and the likes of Blade Runner, A.I. or American Beauty just don't cut it.



I don't buy that except in the most literal sense. yes, of course, the worst film ever is probably some badly made, no-budget, no script piece of shit that most of us will never even hear about, let alone see. I bet nobody here has ever seen the worst film ever by that criteria.

So what actually ends up getting listed is either big films that were shit, films that fell short of their ambitions or were missed opportunities or big films that were mystifyingly well-regarded when they're clearly absolute toilet.

Hence American Beauty.

Feel free to have a 'worst film' thread by your criteria, but i doubt anyone of us would even be able to post on it


----------



## dash (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> Both are bad films, but quite enjoyable after a few beers (I have a soft spot for Species in particular)



Species was quite funny admittedly, starts when Kingsley and his pals are standing around at the first scene of alien activity, looking like plums.

How about 'Body of Evidence'?

Madonna: "It's like when animals f*ck . . . they don't mean to hurt each other . . . but they do . . ."


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> it's amazing the desire of people on this thread to suggest extremely popular or critically acclaimed films as 'the worst film ever.' they must realise that they are not, even if they do hate them personally, so much more because they know they are being _different_ and thinking _independently_. big fucking deal. this is about the worst film ever, not about people's insecurities and desire to be different



specious arrogant bollocks, unless you're a mindreader.

Are you claiming:

a) to know why people have picked the films they have?
b) to have access to some objective list of criteria by which films must be judged to be considered bad?

what toss


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> I don't buy that except in the most literal sense. yes, of course, the worst film ever is probably some badly made, no-budget, no script piece of shit that most of us will never even hear about, let alone see. I bet nobody here has ever seen the worst film ever by that criteria.



see the OP. i haven't seen the film but.... wowzers


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> see the OP. i haven't seen the film it but.... wowzers




I'm sure by the very limited criteria you and Reno are touting, there are much worse films.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> specious arrogant bollocks, unless you're a mindreader.
> 
> a) to know why people have picked the films they have?
> b) to have access to some objective list of criteria by which films must be judged to be considered bad?
> ...



a) look weehead READ the feckin thread and you will see people admit this. they picked it cos it was so overrated / their mates were banging on about it / the critics were wanking over it. 

b) i started the thread purely because i stumbled upon that hulk hogan film and i wondered if there any films that could beat it for pure awfulness. in retrospect perhaps i should have included some clearer criteria.

with your post history (in terms of content) it's slightly naughty to describe me as 'arrogant'


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> a) look weehead READ the feckin thread and you will see people admit this. they picked it cos it was so overrated / their mates were banging on about it / the critics were wanking over it.
> 
> b) i started the thread purely because i stumbled upon that hulk hogan film and i wondered if there any films that could beat it for for awfulness. in retrospect perhaps i should have included some clearer criteria.
> 
> with your post history (in terms of content) it's slightly naughty to describe me as 'arrogant'




What tosh. Try reading MY post, 'weehead', 

You're accusing people of exercising their insecurities, their desires to be different etc - which IS presuming to know why people have made the choices they have, above and beyond people explaining it was over-rated

Which is arrogance, pure and simple


----------



## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

dash said:
			
		

> How about 'Body of Evidence'?
> 
> Madonna: "It's like when animals f*ck . . . they don't mean to hurt each other . . . but they do . . ."




I've missed out on that particular classic, but I'm sure there is a circle in hell where the damned are forced to watch nothing but Madonna films.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

Dub

well i've just seen a lot of films included here that are put out there as a sort of statement. the: 'with this choice i want to make it clear that i am different to all those who liked it and am a free and independent thinker whose knowledge of cinema is too great to fall into the traps laid for those who don't know as much as me!' sort of bollocks....

why people do this well.. insecurity is a term lazily used to describe all sorts of behaviour so fair enough, wrong description.

i find it extremely hypochritical that you would call me arrogant, however true that may be. i see a lot of masturbation when i read some of your posts...


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> well i've just seen a lot of films included here that are put out there as a sort of statement. the: 'with this choice i want to make it clear that i am different to all those who liked it and am a free and independent thinker whose knowledge of cinema is too great to fall into the traps laid for those who don't know as much as me!' sort of bollocks....



oh dear.  

Perhaps - just try this on for size - people are naming a film as being the worst because they actually think it IS the worst. it may not be your opinion, or fit your criteria but hey - it's a big world.

I'll ignore the rest because if you're going to insult me, at least take the trouble to spell it correctly


----------



## DRINK? (Nov 29, 2006)

f knows though reckon my corner shop owner must have it in his collection of video's slowly changing colour as he tries to knock them out for 20p....Christ he has some shockers


----------



## dash (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno: for a bad bad film as per your criteria, rather than a good bad film, 'Cannibal Holocaust' was vacuum-like in its negativity.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> oh dear.
> 
> Perhaps - just try this on for size - people are naming a film as being the worst because they actually think it IS the worst. it may not be your opinion, or fit your criteria but hey - it's a big world.
> 
> I'll ignore the rest because if you're going to insult me, at least take the trouble to spell it correctly



didn't want to insult you as such. just defending myself. 

dub for pete's sake people have already said that ok, it's not the worst but perhaps the most overrated. in that case it's the criteria and whoop de do another pointless argument. 

but don't feel insulted you arrogant cunt


----------



## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

dash said:
			
		

> Reno: for a bad bad film as per your criteria, rather than a good bad film, 'Cannibal Holocaust' was vacuum-like in its negativity.



It has its defenders who regard it as a classic of sorts, but I agree with you, it's a terrible film.

Dub, I didn't mean to step on your toes by mentioning American Beauty. I absolutely hate that film myself, but even within mainstream films I've seen much worse.


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

jugular, do at least try and make some sense


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> jugular, do at least try and make some sense



pish posh what's the point?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> I don't buy that except in the most literal sense. yes, of course, the worst film ever is probably some badly made, no-budget, no script piece of shit that most of us will never even hear about, let alone see. I bet nobody here has ever seen the worst film ever by that criteria.
> 
> So what actually ends up getting listed is either big films that were shit, films that fell short of their ambitions or were missed opportunities or big films that were mystifyingly well-regarded when they're clearly absolute toilet.
> 
> ...



Although in terms of film taste I probably agree with Reno much more often than you, I think you are right here.

For instance, my nomination of Shakespeare in Love.  Awful film which loads of people said was amazing.  Much more worthy of being nominated than some piece of shit that nobody has ever seen or remembers.  Nomianting "Freddy gets fingered 3" is like kicking a cripple IMO.


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> Although in terms of film taste I probably agree with Reno much more often than you, I think you are right here.
> 
> For instance, my nomination of Shakespeare in Love.  Awful film which loads of people said was amazing.  Much more worthy of being nominated than some piece of shit that nobody has ever seen or remembers.  Nomianting "Freddy gets fingered 3" is like kicking a cripple IMO.




precisely. Beastmaster 75 doesn't occur to me to nominate as the worst film ever because nobody thinks it's anything but, it's a non-film (well it doesn't actually exist, but you get my point). Whereas - yes, Shakespeare In Love, or American Beauty are both, IMO, disgusting depressing empty horrible pieces of shit that were adored when released. That DOES bother me.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> Although in terms of film taste I probably agree with Reno much more often than you, I think you are right here.
> 
> For instance, my nomination of Shakespeare in Love.  Awful film which loads of people said was amazing.  Much more worthy of being nominated than some piece of shit that nobody has ever seen or remembers.  Nomianting "Freddy gets fingered 3" is like kicking a cripple IMO.




I see your point and there are some films that deserve it. Then again I was going for the proposterous plots and appalling casts etc..


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> I see your point and there some films that deserve it. Then again I was going for the proposterous plots and appalling casts etc..




Still entirely subjective - there have been films with both preposterous plots and appalling casts that I have enjoyed greatly. There's no objective set of criteria by which this kind of judgement can be made, which is why your grand pronouncements of the choices others have made are so, well, _wanky_


----------



## danny la rouge (Nov 29, 2006)

I haven't said Bladerunner for a couple of pages.  Bladerunner.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

Oh, tish, man.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> I haven't said Bladerunner for a couple of pages.  Bladerunner.



cram it


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> Oh, tish, man.


Though I did walk out first time I saw it.


----------



## danny la rouge (Nov 29, 2006)

It's a dreary, dreary movie.  A 14 hour hovis ad.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

What, faux-nostalgia for an imagined future?


----------



## danny la rouge (Nov 29, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> Though I did walk out first time I saw it.


Everyone did, didn't they?  Certainly people with taste did.  Most people who didn't walk out were actually asleep.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> precisely. Beastmaster 75 doesn't occur to me to nominate as the worst film ever because nobody thinks it's anything but, it's a non-film (well it doesn't actually exist, but you get my point). Whereas - yes, Shakespeare In Love, or American Beauty are both, IMO, disgusting depressing empty horrible pieces of shit that were adored when released. That DOES bother me.



Exactly.  I came out of Shakespeare in Love with the other two I had seen it with saying how great it was, and I couldn't stop thinking about what vacuous, self-satisfied shite it was.

But I loved American Beauty


----------



## danny la rouge (Nov 29, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> What, faux-nostalgia for an imagined future?


No, ersatz pish that looks well-shot (initially), but has all the depth of a Christmas card verse.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> It's a dreary, dreary movie.  A 14 hour hovis ad.



I agree.  I found Bladerunner fucking shit.  And I have enjoyed quite a lot of films with a similar theme; I loved Fifth Element, for instance.  I just found Bladerunner to have no sense of cohesion at all, it was, as you say, like a long advert.  A constant stream of nice images with no real story.  It was like a giant trailer for itself.

The soundtrack is cool though.


----------



## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

I suppose what I find so boring about these "Worst film ever" threads (and they just come round and round again on internet forums everywhere all the time), is that they always go along the same lines and always mention the same handful of mediocre/mildly controversial love/hate films and there is a lot of gloating in trashing films that have many admirers.

At least I'm surprised nobody's mentioned everybody's favourite punching bag Titanic yet.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

See, I thought Titanic was pretty excellent for what it was.  It was a film about a star crossed couple who die aboard the ship which is doomed to crash.  Everyone knows this going into it.  

And for what it set out to be, I thought Titanic achieved it near perfectly.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> I agree.  I found Bladerunner fucking shit.  And I have enjoyed quite a lot of films with a similar theme; I loved Fifth Element, for instance.  I just found Bladerunner to have no sense of cohesion at all, it was, as you say, like a long advert.  A constant stream of nice images with no real story.  It was like a giant trailer for itself.
> 
> The soundtrack is cool though.




fifth element better than bladerunner?

this thread is not for you sir!


----------



## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> See, I thought Titanic was pretty excellent for what it was.  It was a film about a star crossed couple who die aboard the ship which is doomed to crash.  Everyone knows this going into it.
> 
> And for what it set out to be, I thought Titanic achieved it near perfectly.



I quite like Titanic for babysitting my mum when she comes to visit. I slip it into the DVD player and sneak off to the pub with my mates as she's absolutely mesmerised by it.


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> fifth element better than bladerunner?
> 
> this thread is not for you sir!



It so clearly is.  Fifth element, whilst not being perfect, hangs together as a genuine story.  Bladerunner on the other hand does not


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> I quite like Titanic for babysitting my mum when she comes to visit. I slip it into the DVD player and sneak off to the pub with my mates as she's absolutely mesmerised by it.


----------



## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> Bladerunner on the other hand does not




Only if you don't pay any attention. 


...and I promised myself not to get drawn into this one.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

well then, whatever the weaknesses of the thread in terms of the criteria, it really has shown that there is weight to the old adage, 'each to his own.' 

it has been remarkable the differences in tastes and opinions. some good films on here that people have been disgusted with, and some pieces of dross that people have defended with vigour 


IMO


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> Only if you don't pay any attention.



I swear, though, I have tried watching the damned thing so many times, each time going "Right, I'm going to 'get' Bladerunner this time" and still failing


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> well then, whatever the weaknesses of the thread in terms of the criteria, it really has shown that there is weight to the old adage, 'each to his own.'
> 
> it has been remarkable the differences in tastes and opinions. some good films on here that people have been disgusted with, and some pieces of dross that people have defended with vigour
> 
> IMO



True - but that is what makes it a much more interesting thread than one in which everyone nominates 'Police Academy 9' or whatever.


----------



## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

jugularvein said:
			
		

> well then, whatever the weaknesses of the thread in terms of the criteria, it really has shown that there is weight to the old adage, 'each to his own.'



You don't say?


----------



## upsidedownwalrus (Nov 29, 2006)

btw I wouldn't say I was disgusted with Bladerunner - just perplexed.


----------



## jugularvein (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> You don't say?



not really taking myself too seriously today dub.


----------



## danny la rouge (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> Only if you don't pay any attention.


To what?  There's nothing to pay attention to.

Unless you are interested in matchstick origami.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

danny la rouge said:
			
		

> Everyone did, didn't they?  Certainly people with taste did.  Most people who didn't walk out were actually asleep.


Actually I walked out because I took ethical exception to the woman refusing to sleep with Harrison Ford until he started hitting her.

Other than that, it's enormously imaginative with a fair few memorable scenes.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

RenegadeDog said:
			
		

> It so clearly is.  Fifth element, whilst not being perfect, hangs together as a genuine story.


Oh Gawd. It's a wholly vacuous colouring game and nothing more.


----------



## dash (Nov 29, 2006)

"the woman refusing to sleep with Harrison Ford until he started hitting her"

I didn't like that bit either. It's necessary for Ford to be immature in his emotions, just like the other replicants, but it could have been conveyed in other ways. Apart from that and one other slightly dubious scene, I think Bladerunner is quite a good film.


----------



## Griff (Nov 29, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> Oh Gawd. It's a wholly vacuous colouring game and nothing more.



I went out with the costume maker of the Fifth Element.


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## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

I'm surprised they had the time.


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## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> Actually I walked out because I took ethical exception to the woman refusing to sleep with Harrison Ford until he started hitting her.
> 
> Other than that, it's enormously imaginative with a fair few memorable scenes.



It's not necessarely an action that is supposed to be condoned. Even worse he shoots a woman/replicant in the back later on. Deckard is not the hero but an anti-hero and it could even be argued that he is the villain for much of the film. One of the things I like about the Blade Runner is that in line with the film noirs it emulates, with exception of Rachel all the characters are morally corrupt or ambiguous.


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## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> I went out with the costume maker of the Fifth Element.



You dated Jean-Paul Gaultier ?


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## Griff (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> You dated Jean-Paul Gaultier ?



Maker, not designer.


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## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> Maker, not designer.



I know.


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## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

Reno said:
			
		

> It's not necessarely an action that is supposed to be condoned.


I know - that's why I didn't walk out on subsequent occasions! That said, I'm still a little iffy about it.

Ridley Scott eh? Used to be talented.


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## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> I know - that's why I didn't walk out on subsequent occasions! That said, I'm still a little iffy about it.
> 
> Ridley Scott eh? Used to be talented.



Yep, two classics at the start of his career and not much else to get excited about. Mind you, even his duds are better than most of the crimes against celluloid his brother keeps inflicting on the world. Man on Fire probably does qualify as one of the worst films I have ever seen.


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## Griff (Nov 29, 2006)

I really loved _The Duallists_.


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## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

I can't even be bothered to watch the Crusades one despite the fact it was filmed round here and my girlfriend was an extra.

(Well, all right, she was cut from the final version, but she might be in the additional scenes...)


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## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> I really loved _The Duallists_.


Was it (not) called that because there were two of them?


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## Griff (Nov 29, 2006)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075968/


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## Reno (Nov 29, 2006)

I thought The Duellists was a good first film, but I recently tried to sit through it again and didn't quite make it to the end.


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## Griff (Nov 29, 2006)

Donna Ferentes said:
			
		

> Was it (not) called that because there were two of them?



Are you referring to the number of 'L's? 

Just asked my wife and she says it only has 1 'L'.  Or am I talking rubbish? 


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361548/


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## Dubversion (Nov 29, 2006)

Duel / Dual.

Donna is lighting up the thread with his pedantry again


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## Griff (Nov 29, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> Duel / Dual.
> 
> Donna is lighting up the thread with his pedantry again




Ahhhh! I see. 

I'll leave my spelling mistake in, otherwise it won't make any sense.


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## Donna Ferentes (Nov 29, 2006)

Joy through accuracy


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## Griff (Nov 29, 2006)

I blame it on having a day off and starting early on the Pinot.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 29, 2006)

Noir?


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## Red Horse (Dec 1, 2006)

just remembered, its this... the biggest pile of shit ever, still not sure how it ever got made, ive seen school plays with much better acting


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