# Cooking DOESN'T get tougher than THIS!



## Orang Utan (Jan 5, 2009)

Yes, Masterchef has started again. Yay!


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## Kid_Eternity (Jan 5, 2009)

I'm being forced to watch this as we post...I detest 'reality' shows.


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## softybabe (Jan 5, 2009)

Nooooooooooooo, I missed it!


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## trashpony (Jan 5, 2009)

softybabe said:


> Nooooooooooooo, I missed it!



I player lovely!


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## liampreston (Jan 5, 2009)

"You've got the egg, the chips, and just not got it quite right with the HP, but ya know what, it's pretty good..."

xD


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## sheothebudworths (Jan 5, 2009)

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!


Thankyou Clyde!


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## editor (Jan 5, 2009)

I love the way they always shout at each other when they're talking about the competition:

"This is where it REALLY HEATS UP"
"Yes, now they have to REALLY COOK"


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## softybabe (Jan 5, 2009)

trashpony said:


> I player lovely!



oooooooooooooooh u beauty!


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## N_igma (Jan 5, 2009)

I'm pretty sure the intro clip is identical to the one they used last year.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jan 5, 2009)

Is that prick Lloyd Grossman still in it?


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## ruffneck23 (Jan 5, 2009)

hasnt been for years and years.......


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jan 5, 2009)

ruffneck23 said:


> hasnt been for years and years.......



oh, thank fuck for that.  Can't stand him


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## pigtails (Jan 5, 2009)

I love this program but hat those two pricks presenting it!

Greg makes me feel physically sick when he's trying food.  
*shudders*


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## Orang Utan (Jan 6, 2009)

Kid_Eternity said:


> I'm being forced to watch this as we post...I detest 'reality' shows.



This isn't a reality show though


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## tarannau (Jan 6, 2009)

Still got the bald one and the Aussie anglophile as presenters? Load of cock.


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## tarannau (Jan 6, 2009)

Left Turn Clyde said:


> This isn't a reality show though



Of course it bloody is. There's a bit of a competition in the background, but it's still often watching a load of 'contestants' in manufactured, trite situations for the good of the camera rather than cuisine.


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## Orang Utan (Jan 6, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Of course it bloody is. There's a bit of a competition in the background, but it's still often watching a load of 'contestants' in manufactured, trite situations for the good of the camera rather than cuisine.



I thougbht reality TV shows were things like Wife Swap, Faking It and Supernanny?
Masterchef and all those competition shows are 'entertainment documentaries', no?


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## Santino (Jan 6, 2009)

pigtails said:


> I love this program but hat those two pricks presenting it!
> 
> Greg makes me feel physically sick when he's trying food.
> *shudders*


That's the whole joy of the programme!


'The crunch of the toast, the creamy salty topping, a little bite of Worcester sauce... That is EXCELLENT cheese on TOAST! I want to take that toast out onto Hampstead Heath and do it up the wrong 'un.'


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## tarannau (Jan 6, 2009)

Left Turn Clyde said:


> I thougbht reality TV shows were things like Wife Swap, Faking It and Supernanny?
> Masterchef and all those competition shows are 'entertainment documentaries', no?



I think you're making a largely arbitrary distinction here to suit yourself - surely Supernanny, for example, would be more of an educational or documentary style format than the contrived situations that Masterchef relies on.  Take cameras, stick in commercial kitchen for silly manufactured reason, film contestants and build up drama by SHOUTING. Put a geordie voiceover on there and it'd be the BB Kitchen on a task.

You'll have to face it Clyde, you're a sucker for reality tv like the rest of us.


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## Orang Utan (Jan 6, 2009)

Maybe - reality TV as a genre is getting amorphous - I'm not being snobby about it, I just didn't see it as reality TV - the competition shows are different in my mind


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## ChrisFilter (Jan 6, 2009)

Masterchef is wicked 

If only I'd have known.. still it'll be on catch up. God bless you, Virgin.


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## mrsfran (Jan 6, 2009)

I love masterchef. I want to play a masterchef drinking game. Drink everytime one of them shouts "TOUGH", drink every time Greg suggests he wants to do something sexual to the food, drink every time Greg pulls that stupid face where he puckers up, sucks in breath, waggles his eyebrows and says "THAT is REALLY GOOD", drink every time they clearly agree with each other but have to pretend to disagree, drink every time John complains that there is either too much or too little seasoning.

It's quality entertainment.


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## May Kasahara (Jan 6, 2009)

Drink when Greg takes his glasses off and rubs his forehead during decision time 

Missed this last night because our house is so fucking cold the only sensible option was to get in bed at 8pm, but I shall most definitely be watching via iPlayer!

FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## pigtails (Jan 6, 2009)

Alex B said:


> That's the whole joy of the programme!
> 
> 
> 'The crunch of the toast, the creamy salty topping, a little bite of Worcester sauce... That is EXCELLENT cheese on TOAST! I want to take that toast out onto Hampstead Heath and do it up the wrong 'un.'





but you're wrong!  When he does those 'yeeeeaahh' and 'fwwaah' noises I feel dirty


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## Orang Utan (Jan 6, 2009)

I love the shots of them 'talking to each other' with the camera side on. I bet they hate each other and don't speak


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## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 6, 2009)

Greg did a really good growling noise for someone's pudding last night, then he did it again after telling him how much he liked the pudding. it was verging on the perverse


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## Orang Utan (Jan 6, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> Greg did a really good growling noise for someone's pudding last night, then he did it again after telling him how much he liked the pudding. it was verging on the perverse



*HE *is verging on the perverse


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## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 6, 2009)

i know, if you read the news of the screws last year, they exposed his alleged love of spank mags amongst other delights


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## N_igma (Jan 6, 2009)

tarannau said:


> You'll have to face it Clyde, you're a sucker for reality tv like the rest of us.



It's not reality tv, it's a food competition. There are no secret glimpses into these people's lives, they get on tv, they cook and they get judged. The field gets whittled down until there's a winner. It's a competition, end of.


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## Santino (Jan 7, 2009)

That student really needed to get his hair cut.


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## tarannau (Jan 7, 2009)

Yeah, old Fisher Price barnet only lost because he didn't rate nearly as highly on the winning/surprised face front as the victor. 

Mixed bag of cooking on that one. Some of the combinations were doomed from the start and you found yourself tutting away at the cooking errors on display. Old shouty man seems to now find the parody he's made out of himself a little amusing - he couldn't help cracking up slightly as his volume level increased.


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## Gromit (Jan 7, 2009)

Greg is turning into a cornflake. Well his face is. Not pleasant when watching a food show.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 8, 2009)

Impetigo R Us

looks gross don't it


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## mrsfran (Jan 8, 2009)

What is it on his face? I thought they'd just done his make-up really badly last night.


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## Orang Utan (Jan 8, 2009)

I was worried it might be a melanoma - I bet he spends a lot of time in Spain on holiday


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## QueenOfGoths (Jan 8, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> i know, if you read the news of the screws last year, they exposed his alleged love of spank mags amongst other delights



Tbh his love of spank magazines makes him slightly more appealing in a peverse sort of way  

He is one of those people that makes my mouth curl up in distaste whenever I see him.


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## Santino (Jan 8, 2009)

Left Turn Clyde said:


> I bet he spends a lot of time in Spain on holiday


Only because he sounds like a comedy cockney bank-robber.

'The smell of the balaclava, the comforting weight of the sawn-off, the delightful crispness of the £20 notes... THAT, is a GREAT robbery.'


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## Chester Copperpot (Jan 8, 2009)

Love the way they stuff as much as possible onto their forks when they're tasting.


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## Private Storm (Jan 8, 2009)

I saw the non-bald one having some dinner in the restaurant above the Clapham North not so long ago (409?). He seemed to like it, which is good enough for me. 

As for Masterchef, I can't believe that that dozy woman cooked her asparagus the way she did, it was like she'd never tried to cook it before.....or actually tasted it before serving it. And she "wanted it so much"!


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## Hellsbells (Jan 8, 2009)

i liked the guy last night who cooked fish (i think) with chorrizo and when the judges critised it, said 'i was probably being too chefy and should have kept it simple'. And they were like 'well actually the problem was that you weren't being chefy atall!!'


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## Orang Utan (Jan 12, 2009)

Why is everyone cooking scallops at the mo? They're well boring


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## Santino (Jan 12, 2009)

Their rubbish pretend arguments are getting rubbisher and more pretend.


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## Orang Utan (Jan 12, 2009)

They're not even in the same room at the same time are they?
I bet they never speak to each other


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## Santino (Jan 12, 2009)

To address your earlier point, they've been cooking scallops on Masterchef ever since it came back. It's the ingredient that says 'I reckon I'm a proper chef not a housewife who can knock up a casserole'. If you can do a decent scallop you're halfway to winning the first round.


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## N_igma (Jan 12, 2009)

Yer fella Steve was a bit of a mad man. Pork and Mussels? Though over all he was probably the best choice.


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## sheothebudworths (Jan 12, 2009)

Well he mentioned surf and turf and tbf, pork and oysters are certainly used together in chinese cooking...but yeah, all the same...WTF?!?   

Definitely the right winner though, even so.


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## sheothebudworths (Jan 12, 2009)

Left Turn Clyde said:


> They're not even in the same room at the same time are they?
> I bet they never speak to each other


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## tarannau (Jan 12, 2009)

sheothebudworths said:


> Well he mentioned surf and turf and tbf, pork and oysters are certainly used together in chinese cooking...but yeah, all the same...WTF?!?
> 
> Definitely the right winner though, even so.



And pork and clams in Portuguese cooking. Could make a case for him I guess, but the whole thing looked a bit of a mess to be fair.

Starter looked interesting mind.


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## Orang Utan (Jan 14, 2009)

Nicked from another forum : 
masterchef bingo

List 1
Beautifully cooked
A coherent plate of food
Delicious pud!
Yum!
It tastes ... of nothing
It doesn't work
Chilli heat
The deep, deep chocolate
Too much going on, on that plate
It's soft, it's creamy ...
You've overcooked your chicken
Does he/she have what it takes to be a Masterchef finalist?

List 2
Washed away by ...
It shouldn't work ... but it does
How much does she/he/you want this?
No flavour
I'm disappointed
It tastes ... of nothing
Yum!
Beautifully moist
I could eat the whole plate
Flavoursome
It just doesn't work
The sweet, sweet mango ...

List 3
Can he/she deliver those flavours?
You've overcooked your chicken
She/he really wants this!
I'm disappointed
Beautifully soft
Chilli heat
There's too many flavours
It's a disaster.
Aaaaagghh *insert contestant's name* it's gone so wrong
Bursting with flavour
That's delightful!
It's almost right

List 4
Wow!
Your fish ... is overcooked
Oooh! Yum!
How much does this mean to you?
I could eat the whole plateful
The clean flavours
The beefy punch of that mushroom
It's an abomination
Your lamb ... is beautifully cooked
It just doesn't work
That's so nearly right
That's an ugly plate of food


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## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 14, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Nicked from another forum :
> masterchef bingo


Rubbish! Not one mention of their fav term _"passion"_!!! 

We've started a new game of "_Guess Gregg's expression when they have to decide between the last 2 contestants after the first round_" (not a very snappy title I admit). 

So far this series, we've had a back of the head rub, a pen in the mouth twizzle (prolly where he picked up his impetigo, thank goodness that's gone), a stroke of the chin, a sucking lemons mouth and last night's kind of vacant stare.


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## vauxhallmum (Jan 14, 2009)

Tbh these two make me feel a bit sick.
 Mr Poopy pants I can't even look at and the other one- why does he always move his mouth towards the fork, not the other way round?


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## Gromit (Jan 14, 2009)

Before people start talking about tonights can i just say something about yesterday's...

The guy from Cardiff who said that there are no gastropubs in Cardiff so he wanted to take something back to Cardiff... he was full of shit. There are plenty of gastro pubs in Cardiff. Either he was lying for the sake of a story or he knows fuck all about the Cardiff food scene. Either way i was glad he went out despite coming from my home town. If only for the fact he was obviously going to try and be Mr Flamboyant Shirt guy.


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## softybabe (Jan 14, 2009)

vauxhallmum said:


> Tbh these two make me feel a bit sick.
> Mr Poopy pants I can't even look at and the other one- *why does he always move his mouth towards the fork, not the other way round?*



true!  cos he's weird


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## gaijingirl (Jan 14, 2009)

which one's the baldy one?


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## Gromit (Jan 14, 2009)

greg


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## Strumpet (Jan 14, 2009)

Have they cooked with semen yet?


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## softybabe (Jan 14, 2009)

Strumpet said:


> Have they cooked with semen yet?



 young lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


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## Orang Utan (Jan 14, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> which one's the baldy one?



The one who has no hair


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## Strumpet (Jan 14, 2009)

softybabe said:


> young lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1



Sorry 
S'not me though.....was from another thread.


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## softybabe (Jan 14, 2009)

Strumpet said:


> Sorry
> S'not me though.....was from another thread.



I know...


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## Strumpet (Jan 14, 2009)




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## softybabe (Jan 15, 2009)

difficult call tonight....and the winner is............


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## gaijingirl (Jan 15, 2009)

not the woman - what a surprise...


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## Gromit (Jan 15, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> not the woman - what a surprise...



If she'd been in an early round they would have torn her to shreds for doing too much on her desert. As its a later round they big up their skills more to create that illusion of a talent ladder as you climb up the stages.

I would have been happy if either lad had one it but glad they didn't punish the youngster for deliberately not serving a sauce he didn't believe in. When you consider how many times they've told people off for not holding back elements that have gone wrong.

p.s. A woman once won the entire thing so you can't accuse them of being sexist.


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## gaijingirl (Jan 15, 2009)

Marius said:


> p.s. A woman once won the entire thing so you can't accuse them of being sexist.



WOW - really?


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## softybabe (Jan 15, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> WOW - really?



yeah...'tis true...one winner runs a restaurant in London now


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## gaijingirl (Jan 15, 2009)

softybabe said:


> yeah...'tis true...one winner runs a restaurant in London now



Yeah.. I was being a little bit sarcastic tbh..

Actually, I don't know enough about the programme really to hold a proper stance - I just know that whenever we do watch it and there's a "who's gonna get through" scenario - we have a running joke that it won't be the woman - and we've pretty much been right 100%.

How many years has Masterchef been running with just the one female winner?  Anyone know?


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## softybabe (Jan 15, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> Yeah.. I was being a little bit sarcastic tbh..
> 
> Actually, I don't know enough about the programme really to hold a proper stance - I just know that whenever we do watch it and there's a "who's gonna get through" scenario - we have a running joke that it won't be the woman - and we've pretty much been right 100%.
> 
> How many years has Masterchef been running with just the one female winner?  Anyone know?




sexist bastards!


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## Orang Utan (Jan 15, 2009)

Who went through? I missed it all


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## Gromit (Jan 15, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> How many years has Masterchef been running with just the one female winner?  Anyone know?



Its been running since 2005 and if we include celebrity Masterchef there have been 3 female winners.

A woman won the first one and I think that there have been some good female contenders in the finals. They weren't just the token woman.


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## gaijingirl (Jan 15, 2009)

Marius said:


> Its been running since 2005 and if we include celebrity Masterchef there have been 3 female winners.
> 
> A woman won the first one and I think that there have been some good female contenders in the finals. They weren't just the token woman.



Has it really only been since 2005?  I told my Japanese lodger that it is a very old traditional English TV programme....  

oops...


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## trashpony (Jan 15, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Who went through? I missed it all



The young boy Chris who looks like a woodland creature. He did a lovely pea soup (but with a seared scallop which I know you don't approve of), a lambs liver main which was a bit dry but a fabulous chocolate fondant 

I wouldn't have put that accountancy student through either - she was terrible in the pro kitchen


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## Gromit (Jan 15, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> Has it really only been since 2005?  I told my Japanese lodger that it is a very old traditional English TV programme....
> 
> oops...



In its current format.

The very old traditional version died out 2001. Thank god. It was boring as hell back then.


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## softybabe (Jan 15, 2009)

trashpony said:


> The young boy Chris who looks like a woodland creature. He did a lovely pea soup (but with a seared scallop which I know you don't approve of), a lambs liver main which was a bit dry but a fabulous chocolate fondant
> 
> I wouldn't have put that accountancy student through either - she was terrible in the pro kitchen



brill summary, trashy

pea soup looked really lush


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## gaijingirl (Jan 15, 2009)

Marius said:


> In its current format.
> 
> The very old traditional version died out 2001. Thank god. It was boring as hell back then.



oh right it _is.. _ older than that - thank goodness I'm not quite as rubbish as I thought..


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## miss minnie (Jan 17, 2009)

I want to pick this plate up and run around the room with it above my head singing songs about rabbit wrapped in bacon


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## Nine Bob Note (Jan 17, 2009)

I'm afraid I've given up on this series. Toadie gets the final say on EVERY difference of opinion, and, if I see one more scallop or pea purée, I may well scream  Bring back Monsieur Roux!


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## Orang Utan (Jan 17, 2009)

Michel Roux? Has he been on it before?


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## cesare (Jan 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Michel Roux? Has he been on it before?



The utterly charming Michel Roux senior is more likely to be found on Saturday Kitchen, but I think I saw the lesser junior version replacing one of those Masterchef blokes recently.


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## Gromit (Jan 17, 2009)

Roux stood in on the 'Proffesionals' one. He had the personality of a damp dishcloth.


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## Santino (Jan 21, 2009)

Teriyaki lamb with watermelon and fried bread lol


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## BoatieBird (Jan 21, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Teriyaki lamb with watermelon and fried bread lol



I really felt for him - I couldn't look when the judges were tasting it.
What was he thinking?


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## Biddlybee (Jan 21, 2009)

Bugger, I forgot to watch this last night 



trashpony said:


> The young boy Chris who looks like a woodland creature. He did a lovely pea soup (but with a seared scallop which I know you don't approve of), a lambs liver main which was a bit dry but a fabulous chocolate fondant


Glad he went through - wasn't really any competition tbf.


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## Santino (Jan 21, 2009)

BoatieBird said:


> I really felt for him - I couldn't look when the judges were tasting it.
> What was he thinking?


Oddly enough, before he had started cooking I was thinking that he looked like the sort of person who posts on Urban.


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## Orang Utan (Jan 21, 2009)

I haven't had a chance to watch it this week - didn't some fella do some grated butter instead of cheese and then leave a carrot with bit marks on it on the plate? What day was that?


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## trashpony (Jan 21, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> I haven't had a chance to watch it this week - didn't some fella do some grated butter instead of cheese and then leave a carrot with bit marks on it on the plate? What day was that?



 Yes - that was Monday. They were all fucking dreadful on Monday - it's quite funny, you should watch it. 

But it was a real shame - the bloke who was runner up last night was much better than the one who won on Monday. He was just best of a bad bunch.


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## Santino (Jan 21, 2009)

trashpony said:


> Yes - that was Monday. They were all fucking dreadful on Monday - it's quite funny, you should watch it.
> 
> But it was a real shame - the bloke who was runner up last night was much better than the one who won on Monday. He was just best of a bad bunch.


Yeah, all three from last night could have won on almost any other day.


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## fractionMan (Jan 21, 2009)

Yeah, it was really tight that the bloke who cooked the onion soup and cod didn't get to go through.  Some of the peeps in the final will be worse than him.


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## Hellsbells (Jan 21, 2009)

Don't they always have a runner's up round, where they get to pick the best of the runners up to go through to the semi finals? I seem to have a vague memory of this happening last year, when there was someone really good they were pissed off that they had to let go...


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## Santino (Jan 21, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Don't they always have a runner's up round, where they get to pick the best of the runners up to go through to the semi finals? I seem to have a vague memory of this happening last year, when there was someone really good they were pissed off that they had to let go...


Something like that. Or was it people from a previous series?


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## trashpony (Jan 21, 2009)

I was trying to remember last night - didn't they used to do the selection process by region? How do they do it now?


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## Santino (Jan 21, 2009)

trashpony said:


> I was trying to remember last night - didn't they used to do the selection process by region? How do they do it now?


You're thinking of Great British whatsit with Prue Leith and those blokes and it's the Queen's birthday with the big feast and the glavin.


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## Gromit (Jan 21, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Something like that. Or was it people from a previous series?



Previous series round. Correct.


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## trashpony (Jan 21, 2009)

Alex B said:


> You're thinking of Great British whatsit with Prue Leith and those blokes and it's the Queen's birthday with the big feast and the glavin.



No, not that. Didn't masterchef used to be presented by Llllllloyd Grossman? Or was that something else? Was an age ago anyway.

But how do they decide who goes with whom in the first round? first come first served? Alpha order? Equal numbers of men and women?


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## Santino (Jan 21, 2009)

trashpony said:


> But how do they decide who goes with whom in the first round? first come first served? Alpha order? Equal numbers of men and women?


Naked wrestling


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## Orang Utan (Jan 21, 2009)

It was originally devised by Franc Roddam, who directed Quadrophenia


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## BoatieBird (Jan 21, 2009)

Marius said:


> Previous series round. Correct.



Yep, that's it - I've had a vague memory of this circling round my head!

It's a shame Mr Onion Soup didn't go through last night, I thought he had promise.  Maybe he'll get a chance next year.


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## Gromit (Jan 21, 2009)

Onion soup with cheese on toast. It's easy. Greg only raved about it cause he loves French food. 

Glad that they aren't automatically slagging soups off like they used too. Soup is easy. A quality soup with right consistancy though. But as soups go onion soup is a doddle.


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## Santino (Jan 21, 2009)

Marius said:


> Onion soup with cheese on toast. It's easy. Greg only raved about it cause he loves French food.
> 
> Glad that they aren't automatically slagging soups off like they used too. Soup is easy. A quality soup with right consistancy though. But as soups go onion soup is a doddle.


I reckon the ideal Round 1 menu is a complex dish done well, and a simple dish done absolutely perfectly. Not necessarily in that order.


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## mrsfran (Jan 21, 2009)

trashpony said:


> But how do they decide who goes with whom in the first round? first come first served? Alpha order? Equal numbers of men and women?



In my experience of a similar programme for a different channel, they try to match you with people they think you'll contrast with (personality or style-wise) or are of a similar level or ability to.


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## BoatieBird (Jan 21, 2009)

missfran said:


> In my experience of a similar programme for a different channel, they try to match you with people they think you'll contrast with (personality or style-wise) or are of a similar level or ability to.




Does that mean that you've taken part in this sort of thing?
What did you cook?
Was it well received?
Did you win?


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## mrsfran (Jan 21, 2009)

BoatieBird said:


> Does that mean that you've taken part in this sort of thing?
> What did you cook?
> Was it well received?
> Did you win?



I was asked to audition, got through to the first round and then couldn't do it because I was going away on holiday when they were filming.


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## BoatieBird (Jan 21, 2009)

missfran said:


> I was asked to audition, got through to the first round and then couldn't do it because I was going away on holiday when they were filming.



That's a shame!
What would you have cooked?


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## mrsfran (Jan 21, 2009)

My audition dish was kheema shepherd's pie. I didn't have to make it for the initial audition, just talk about it to Jilly Goulden, John Burton-Race and Ed... something. I can't remember his name. A chef.


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## BoatieBird (Jan 21, 2009)

Would you try for Masterchef?


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## mrsfran (Jan 21, 2009)

Nah, I don't think I'm good enough. And I don't want to be a professional chef.


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## strung out (Jan 22, 2009)

i think they're about to jizz themselves tonight


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## softybabe (Jan 22, 2009)

difficult one tonight the last three this week seem to be very good indeed


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## Orang Utan (Jan 22, 2009)

strung_out said:


> i think they're about to jizz themselves tonight



Masterchef is crying out for some Cassetteboy mischief


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## May Kasahara (Jan 22, 2009)

Innit! I can't believe it hasn't already happened tbh.


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## Gromit (Jan 23, 2009)

So glad Baldie Goatie got through.

I suspect they were being overly generous in their praise of Belinda. I think they were thinking with little greg and John and not their   brains. From what I remember of the black girl they didn't allow to cook she was far superior to that girl's vulgar overboard Australian style. I'm sure the desert was nice but why the hell was it bright bleeding pink? Yet not a word from either of the boys about the colour?


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## mrsfran (Jan 23, 2009)

Marius said:


> So glad Baldie Goatie got through.
> 
> I suspect they were being overly generous in their praise of Belinda. I think they were thinking with little greg and John and not their brains. From what I remember of the black girl they didn't allow to cook she was far superior to that girl's vulgar overboard Australian style. I'm sure the desert was nice but why the hell was it bright bleeding pink? Yet not a word from either of the boys about the colour?


 
I concur. They liked the idea of her, not her actual cooking. And she had a cracking figure and a nose-wrinkle smile.


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## Hellsbells (Jan 23, 2009)

i love that bald goatee guy. He's so shy and sweet and lovely. And i *so* want to eat all his yummy food


----------



## Hellsbells (Jan 26, 2009)

Does anyone know where that huge fruit and veg market is that all quarter finalists go to on Thursday's episode? 
Everything looks so fresh and delicious and amazing there.


----------



## g force (Jan 26, 2009)

Borough Market wasn't it? Certainly was on the day I watched it.


----------



## secretsquirrel (Jan 26, 2009)

I've developed a bit of a crush on Gregg  He just looks _naughty_


----------



## DRINK? (Jan 26, 2009)

g force said:


> Borough Market wasn't it? Certainly was on the day I watched it.




it usually is...a good market though f'ing expensive


----------



## Biddlybee (Jan 26, 2009)

g force said:


> Borough Market wasn't it? Certainly was on the day I watched it.


 


DRINK? said:


> it usually is...a good market though f'ing expensive


Aye, their studio must be just round the corner or something.

Do they have a budget? I'm guessing they all have to stick to a limit, but it doesn't say.


----------



## Hellsbells (Jan 26, 2009)

secretsquirrel said:


> I've developed a bit of a crush on Gregg  He just looks _naughty_



Next time you think that, look at his teeth!!


----------



## secretsquirrel (Jan 26, 2009)

Oh. Thanks. Will feel compelled to look now - I guess they're pretty bad?  *feels crush withering on the vine*


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 26, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Does anyone know where that huge fruit and veg market is that all quarter finalists go to on Thursday's episode?
> Everything looks so fresh and delicious and amazing there.


 
It's Borough, for certain.



BiddlyBee said:


> Aye, their studio must be just round the corner or something.
> 
> Do they have a budget? I'm guessing they all have to stick to a limit, but it doesn't say.


 
In one of the first series, one guy made an incredibly expensive dish for the "make your own food" round. Expensive seafood, including caviar I think. He got through, but I remember them commentiing on how it was hard to tell if he really was a great cook because he used such posh ingredients.


----------



## Biddlybee (Jan 26, 2009)

Oh, maybe they don't have a budget then.


----------



## BoatieBird (Jan 26, 2009)

secretsquirrel said:


> I've developed a bit of a crush on Gregg  He just looks _naughty_



And he wouldn't moan about you wanting pudding if you went out for dinner!


----------



## Santino (Jan 26, 2009)

Also, when they are shopping in Borough, it's only for the cameras. Their ingredients are bought by the production team, which caused a problem for someone a couple of series back when his squid wasn't prepared enough for him,


----------



## Biddlybee (Jan 26, 2009)

All these TV lies


----------



## Santino (Jan 26, 2009)

BiddlyBee said:


> All these TV lies


Also, John Torode is CGI.


----------



## Biddlybee (Jan 26, 2009)

I thought he looked a bit funny


----------



## Mr Retro (Jan 26, 2009)

I always say I'm not going to at the start of each series but always end up watching.

Baldy Greg knows fuck all about food though. Whats a fucking "ingredients expert"? Why does he eat like he's had a stroke?

Why does Frog face Aussie Chef throw the food in his mouth at 100mph? One of these days his spoon will be too heavy and he'll misjudge it's trajectory to his mouth, not stop in time, and smash his own skull.


----------



## BoatieBird (Jan 26, 2009)

Mr Retro said:


> I always say I'm not going to at the start of each series but always end up watching.
> 
> *Baldy Greg knows fuck all about food though*. Whats a fucking "ingredients expert"? Why does he eat like he's had a stroke?
> 
> Why does Frog face Aussie Chef throw the food in his mouth at 100mph? One of these days his spoon will be too heavy and he'll misjudge it's trajectory to his mouth, not stop in time, and smash his own skull.



He did host the rather excellent Veg Talk on Radio 4 at one point so he knows a fair bit about veg


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 26, 2009)

Nah, they're having you on me old bean, vegetables don't talk, it's all done with strings and thrown voices.


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 26, 2009)

Mr Retro said:


> I always say I'm not going to at the start of each series but always end up watching.
> 
> Baldy Greg knows fuck all about food though. Whats a fucking "ingredients expert"? Why does he eat like he's had a stroke?
> 
> Why does Frog face Aussie Chef throw the food in his mouth at 100mph? One of these days his spoon will be too heavy and he'll misjudge it's trajectory to his mouth, not stop in time, and smash his own skull.


 


BoatieBird said:


> He did host the rather excellent Veg Talk on Radio 4 at one point so he knows a fair bit about veg


 
He used to be a grocer. He does know a lot about fruit and veg. But not much about other things.

The scallops are lost in the deep, deep mince.


----------



## BoatieBird (Jan 26, 2009)

missfran said:


> The scallops are lost in the deep, deep mince.



Is it me or are there far, far, far too many scallops on Masterchef?


----------



## Biddlybee (Jan 26, 2009)

There are far too many, and too much beetroot imo


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 26, 2009)

Far too many. It makes me think the producers have suggested it as a dish.


----------



## Mr Retro (Jan 27, 2009)

BoatieBird said:


> He did host the rather excellent Veg Talk on Radio 4 at one point so he knows a fair bit about veg



My grandfather was a brilliant gardener. He never cooked a meal in his life.


----------



## secretsquirrel (Jan 27, 2009)

Last night's bunch were pretty rubbish. I'm on a scallop and rhubarb watch now as they seem to be in every bloody episode! 

Maybe my signature dish should be pan fried scallops served on a minted rhubarb puree with a truffle oil dressing? *voms*


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 27, 2009)

That was the worst 6 cooks ever last night. One bloke's dish in the first round was utter cobblers and he even admitted as much. Are they just asking people to walk in off the street now and knock up something in the invention round?


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 27, 2009)

I think they must be. They really were rubbish. Makes me think maybe I'll have a go at it myself after all because I can do better than that shit.


----------



## N_igma (Jan 27, 2009)

I think the blonde mum should have went through last night.


----------



## DRINK? (Jan 27, 2009)

They were pap last night though have seen rounds where you could put all 6 through...dunno how they could seperate the wheat from the chaff....I would love to do it though f*ck working in a kitchen for some shouty chef...I'd like to do the invention and the 2 courses thank you very much...the chubby greengrocer would defo reckon my cooking does not get any better than that


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jan 27, 2009)

I was put off Greg when he over-dramatically spat out some undercooked potatoes on Celebrity Masterchef once. 

Okay poatoes that aren't cooked are horrid and desrve spitting out but he acted like the person had tried to poison him and he was vomiting up arsenic. Arse


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 27, 2009)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I was put off Greg when he over-dramatically spat out some undercooked potatoes on Celebrity Masterchef once.
> 
> Okay poatoes that aren't cooked are horrid and desrve spitting out but he acted like the person had tried to poison him and he was vomiting up arsenic. Arse


I thought you said you fancied him?!


----------



## Stoat Boy (Jan 27, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> That was the worst 6 cooks ever last night. One bloke's dish in the first round was utter cobblers and he even admitted as much. Are they just asking people to walk in off the street now and knock up something in the invention round?



I only started watching half-way through and did wonder if this was perhaps a one-off in which they asked people who had never cooked before to give it a go in a sort of counter-balance to the celeb one.

They were all rubbish. My own enjoyment of cooking is more about getting drunk in the kitchen and listening to US classic rock stations via my inter-web radio than creating culinary masterpieces but I could have done much better than some of those efforts.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jan 27, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> I thought you said you fancied him?!



No way!! (said in a teenage shouty kind of way ) He makes my skin crawl. Now if it were James Martin then....

I did say his - alleged - love of spanking made him seem marginally more attractive. Marginally more than zero that is


----------



## fen_boy (Jan 27, 2009)

QueenOfGoths said:


> No way!! (said in a teenage shouty kind of way ) He makes my skin crawl. Now if it were James Martin then....
> 
> I did say his - alleged - love of spanking made him seem marginally more attractive. Marginally more than zero that is




James Martin is an awful twat though.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jan 27, 2009)

fen_boy said:


> James Martin is an awful twat though.



I know...but he's got that Northern chubbiness thing going on which, being another Northern chubby,  I like 

In fact I have a pic of him on my wall here at work. In the nudie.... I'm not making it any better am I


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 27, 2009)

I've met James Martin a couple of times. He works hard. Bit of a knob though.


----------



## fen_boy (Jan 27, 2009)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I know...but he's got that Northern chubbiness thing going on which, being another Northern chubby,  I like
> 
> In fact I have a pic of him on my wall here at work. In the nudie.... I'm not making it any better am I



You made my brain cry


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Jan 27, 2009)

That passion test is plainly bollocks tho isn't it.

Recognising ingredients.. fair enough... but the passion test?  It's discriminatory. Som peopl find it really hard to show any emotion at all (like me).

If I ever entered masterchef - I'd fail on the passiontest cos I can nver beg and go PLEASE I REALLLY REALY REAAALLLY want to do this..... I love it I love it... blahblahblah.


----------



## Spark (Jan 27, 2009)

do you think they really rely on the passion test or do they just use it to weed out the weakest person of the quarter finalists?  i'm sure if there was someone who seemed to show no enthusiasm but had cooked amazing food they'd still let them through.  

They never seem to rely on the professional kitchen performance either, unless it's really close between 2 people.


----------



## Hellsbells (Jan 27, 2009)

The passion test is so easy though. All you need to do is wipe your eyes and snuffle a bit, say 'i want this so much', then just walk out, supposedly overcome with emotion. 
They'd probably love that. 

I thought the mad hatter woman last week was funny - she was just so 'oh, i don't care whether you put me through or not, i'm still going to carry on cooking whatever.....in fact, i'm not even going to prepare for this test, b'cos i just couldn't care less'. 

But yeah, i'm fairly certain that if there's an amazing cook, they'll put them through regardless of whether they can show emotion and whether or not they screw up in the professional kitchen.


----------



## maya (Jan 27, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Cooking DOESN'T get tougher than THIS!


Have you tried cooking out of doors, on a propane burner?  Proper manly.


----------



## articul8 (Jan 27, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> That passion test is plainly bollocks tho isn't it.  Recognising ingredients.. fair enough... but the passion test?  It's discriminatory. Som peopl find it really hard to show any emotion at all (like me).
> 
> If I ever entered masterchef - I'd fail on the passiontest cos I can nver beg and go PLEASE I REALLLY REALY REAAALLLY want to do this..... I love it I love it... blahblahblah.



yes it's bollocks that someone that cooks well enough to knock out 5 over contestants in the heat doesn't even to cook if they can't bullshit well enough 

and why does every other f***er have to cook a chocolat fondant


----------



## Hellsbells (Jan 27, 2009)

By the way, secret squirrel, did you take a look at Greg's teeth? The bottom row in particular? 

They look like they may have been whitened (like most people's on the telly these days ), but still, a few more of those chocolate deserts and those wonky, wobbly teeth will be falling out all over the place! Probably straight into a contestant's chocolate fondont....yummy


----------



## dtb (Jan 27, 2009)

i thought the woman who did the english breakfast should have gone through


----------



## softybabe (Jan 27, 2009)

Wagamama! eh!!!  Surely not masterchefy...I love wagamama but it's warm up food innit?


----------



## tarannau (Jan 27, 2009)

How does baldy always get so excited by desserts? He's on a cooking programme; you'd have thought he'd get used to it by now. 

I fully expect him to do a star jump and pirouette over a particularly fruity cheesecake by series end.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 27, 2009)

blimey, he's just had his passion reinvigorated!?


----------



## boohoo (Jan 27, 2009)

Marius said:


> I suspect they were being overly generous in their praise of Belinda. I think they were thinking with little greg and John and not their   brains.





missfran said:


> I concur. They liked the idea of her, not her actual cooking. And she had a cracking figure and a nose-wrinkle smile.



You sound like my mum. I thought they didn't go for her because she didn't talk about the food and she had some weird mixes that didn't quite work.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 27, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> By the way, secret squirrel, did you take a look at Greg's teeth? The bottom row in particular?
> 
> They look like they may have been whitened (like most people's on the telly these days ), but still, a few more of those chocolate deserts and those wonky, wobbly teeth will be falling out all over the place! Probably straight into a contestant's chocolate fondont....yummy



He probably lost a few in his Millwall days


----------



## Mr Retro (Jan 28, 2009)

tarannau said:


> How does baldy always get so excited by desserts? He's on a cooking programme; you'd have thought he'd get used to it by now.
> 
> I fully expect him to do a star jump and pirouette over a particularly fruity cheesecake by series end.



If you served the pillock up candy floss he'd rave about it just because it's sweet.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jan 28, 2009)

tarannau said:


> How does baldy always get so excited by desserts? He's on a cooking programme; you'd have thought he'd get used to it by now.
> 
> I fully expect him to do a star jump and pirouette over a particularly fruity cheesecake by series end.



There is something quite obscene about his love of desserts - and I speak as a pud fiend myself


----------



## secretsquirrel (Jan 28, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> By the way, secret squirrel, did you take a look at Greg's teeth? The bottom row in particular?
> 
> They look like they may have been whitened (like most people's on the telly these days ), but still, a few more of those chocolate deserts and those wonky, wobbly teeth will be falling out all over the place! Probably straight into a contestant's chocolate fondont....yummy



*feels sick* *reconsiders crush*  Maybe I just like a man who gets a gleam in his eye when it comes to pudding?!


----------



## Santino (Jan 29, 2009)

Yesterday someone did scallops for starter and beetroot with their main. Textbook.


----------



## tarannau (Jan 29, 2009)

I think you'll find that it's scallops and fucking ever-present pea puree which is textbook, often with optional crispy porcine accompaniment (black pudding, bacon, pancetta etc).

Bit of a bugbear for me too. Life is too short for another scallop dish.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jan 29, 2009)

tarannau said:


> I think you'll find that it's scallops and fucking ever-present pea puree which is textbook, often with optional crispy porcine accompaniment (black pudding, bacon, pancetta etc).
> 
> Bit of a bugbear for me too. Life is too short for another scallop dish.



Noooooooo - I love scallops and as I rarely cook them myself they are often my starter of choice when I go out . And as a recent convert to meat eating I do seem to be aiming to rid Berkshire and beyond of their sticks of Black Pudding 

However I agree - the scallop/pea puree/bacon option does seem to be ubiquitious at the moment


----------



## Gromit (Jan 29, 2009)

The invention test is a bit led these days. 

Greg gave someone a pat on the back for the veg going well with the lamb. It was the veg they were given to work with so it's not exactly difficult is it?!


----------



## BoatieBird (Jan 29, 2009)

Marius said:


> The invention test is a bit led these days.
> 
> Greg gave someone a pat on the back for the veg going well with the lamb. It was the veg they were given to work with *so it's not exactly difficult is it?*!



Oh, I don't know...
Teriyaki Lamb and watermelon anyone?


----------



## Santino (Jan 29, 2009)

BoatieBird said:


> Oh, I don't know...
> Teriyaki Lamb and watermelon anyone?


What was that atrocity the other week? Feta tart with mango or something?


----------



## Rollem (Jan 29, 2009)

tarannau said:


> How does baldy always get so excited by desserts?


and has anyoen else noticed how he takes an over exagerated amount of time to take the damn fork/spoon out of his mouth


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 29, 2009)

Alex B said:


> What was that atrocity the other week? Feta tart with mango or something?


 
It was the following ingredients resting on some puff pastry: Chorizo, soy sauce, cheese and mango.

Genuinely the worst dish I have ever seen in my life.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Jan 29, 2009)

I had to laugh last night when the woman said she was making Brocolli and Stilton soup, except she didn't have Stilton so she was going to use feta cheese instead  John's comments were very cutting but also very accurate.


----------



## chegrimandi (Jan 29, 2009)

frog face is going to impale himself on that fork one day



they may as well just rename it Desert Chef...they both look like they're going to come in their pants at the sweet tasting bit...I like desert but much prefer start and main dish...


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Jan 29, 2009)

missfran said:


> It was the following ingredients resting on some puff pastry: Chorizo, soy sauce, cheese and mango.
> 
> Genuinely the worst dish I have ever seen in my life.



It starts off will with puff pastry and chorizo.. then goes REALLY wrong after that.  Mango!?!?  FFS!


----------



## strung out (Jan 29, 2009)

i just saw one with pork mince, black pudding and boiled rice *vomit*


----------



## fractionMan (Jan 29, 2009)

missfran said:


> It was the following ingredients resting on some puff pastry: Chorizo, soy sauce, cheese and mango.
> 
> Genuinely the worst dish I have ever seen in my life.



awesome


----------



## strung out (Jan 29, 2009)

has anyone ever got through making a risotto?


----------



## tarannau (Jan 29, 2009)

That's fantastic Miss F. I missed that one, but the woman sounds as though she needs an MBE for services to misguided culianry combinations.

Chorizo and soy sauce, with mango and all?

Sure someone's got through to the 2nd round with a risotto Strung out, but it's a little bit underwhelming later on.


----------



## Santino (Jan 29, 2009)

Risotto is Too Simple for a main dish and Too Much for an accompaniment.


----------



## Santino (Jan 29, 2009)

Another hour of food-related nonsense on tonight  \o/


----------



## tarannau (Jan 29, 2009)

Aagh, first scallops on Come Dine With Me, then more textbook fashion scallops on bacon on Masterchef.

I thought we'd escaped the cliche of pea puree, but it turns out that the bloke was just saving the crushed pea action for the main course.


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 29, 2009)

Miso potatoes interest me. I like the sound of that and may steal the idea.


----------



## mrsfran (Jan 29, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Aagh, first scallops on Come Dine With Me, then more textbook fashion scallops on bacon on Masterchef.
> 
> I thought we'd escaped the cliche of pea puree, but it turns out that the bloke was just saving the crushed pea action for the main course.



There was beetroot action too, in the form of a rosti.


----------



## moose (Jan 30, 2009)

Moroccan style _pork_? ?


----------



## Santino (Jan 30, 2009)

moose said:


> Moroccan style _pork_? ?


On that Jamie Oliver programme about pigs, he described a stall at Borough Market as 'a Mecca for pork'


----------



## bellator (Jan 30, 2009)

When is the final?
It seems to be going on forever.


----------



## strung out (Jan 30, 2009)

they've still got semi finals to go. not sure if all the quarter finals are done yet


----------



## Hellsbells (Jan 30, 2009)

It always seems to go on forever! I think it lasts for 10 weeks, and i don't think we're past week 4 yet!!


----------



## moose (Jan 30, 2009)

I hope I never get to eat a mushroom stuffed with cheese and coconut.


----------



## Gromit (Jan 30, 2009)

I thought Angela was by far the most deserving of a semi-final place this week. The best woman won.
Even if she was completely surprised by how far she has gotten. 

She has this quiet competance about her whilst creating exotic combinations. I thought it was confidence but obviously not given her surprised shock. Just focuses on what she likes to do.

I'm hoping she gets through to the finals.

The show delberately made it look like she wasn't the strongest contender. All for the sake of drama eh!

She was luck the french cuisine fella had a bad day at the office mind. He stood a very good chance if he hadn't of made mistakes. Her food is miles more interesting though.


----------



## secretsquirrel (Jan 30, 2009)

Am *so* glad she won over Julian. I overcame my initial prejudice at her Katie Melua-likeness to cheer her on over prissy lipped Julian (he did look a right Julian too). And I _really_ wanted to try her lemon and basil tart with balsamic strawberry sauce...


----------



## boohoo (Jan 31, 2009)

I didn't like Julian's attitude to losing. I like contestants who say it was an amazing experience and they'll keep pursuing their dream rather than the ones who seem to have put all expectations into a tv show.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 31, 2009)

He just said he was gutted - that's just honest, isn't it?

Angela was ace.


----------



## Santino (Feb 3, 2009)

Another rubbish bunch of chancers yesterday.


----------



## Gromit (Feb 3, 2009)

Another case of; if two girls are rubbish put the attractive girl through instead of the plain girl. That risotto might have been over board ingredients wise (cause she was trying to impress) but that tart was stuck inside the case ffs.


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 3, 2009)

That just common TV sense though


----------



## moonsi til (Feb 3, 2009)

Alex B said:


> On that Jamie Oliver programme about pigs, he described a stall at Borough Market as 'a Mecca for pork'




Lol..


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 3, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Another rubbish bunch of chancers yesterday.





Marius said:


> Another case of; if two girls are rubbish put the attractive girl through instead of the plain girl. That risotto might have been over board ingredients wise (cause she was trying to impress) but that tart was stuck inside the case ffs.


its cos the blond type said "all the way" when greg asked her how far she wanted to go. its loaded with innuendos this programme. 

glad that the big fat geordie lad won thru, nice to see someone genuinely overcome by it.


----------



## trashpony (Feb 3, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Another rubbish bunch of chancers yesterday.



They had ace ingredients too. Even I could've made something nice out of that lot


----------



## Santino (Feb 3, 2009)

trashpony said:


> They had ace ingredients too. Even I could've made something nice out of that lot


Too many good ingredients for the unwary cook. A couple of contestants seemed to bung in everything that they recognised as food.

LOL at the girl mistaking mint and parsley for basil and coriander.

Also: serving food on a bed of lettuce. Fuck off, more like.


----------



## Me76 (Feb 3, 2009)

Alex B said:


> LOL at the girl mistaking mint and parsley for basil and coriander.



I was in hysterics.  You would just be "I'll get me coat"


----------



## The Boy (Feb 3, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Also: serving food on a bed of lettuce. Fuck off, more like.



Yeah, I've seen Gordon Ramsey do that a couple of times.  IT's obviously the fashionable thing - a bit like scallops and pea puree.


----------



## tarannau (Feb 3, 2009)

Me76 said:


> I was in hysterics.  You would just be "I'll get me coat"



Nothing beats that gom who tried to grate butter instead of cheese. How the fuck wouldn't you realise? Surely at some point your thought processes would go beyond 'this feels wrong, a little too soft' and you'd dare to taste a bit.

He also, hilariously, managed to serve a half bitten carrot that he'd sampled to check the readiness of his dish. Knob.


----------



## LindaR (Feb 3, 2009)

'Sfunny, but usually by this time in Masterchef, there's been at least one stand-out - a definite finalist, if not probable winner.
Can't say I've seen any so far, anyone disagree?


----------



## Santino (Feb 4, 2009)

That steak on 'Tuscan stew' looked vile.


----------



## trashpony (Feb 4, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Nothing beats that gom who tried to grate butter instead of cheese. How the fuck wouldn't you realise? Surely at some point your thought processes would go beyond 'this feels wrong, a little too soft' and you'd dare to taste a bit.
> 
> He also, hilariously, managed to serve a half bitten carrot that he'd sampled to check the readiness of his dish. Knob.



They should do an outtakes programme - I'd like to see him again


----------



## Gromit (Feb 4, 2009)

LindaR said:


> 'Sfunny, but usually by this time in Masterchef, there's been at least one stand-out - a definite finalist, if not probable winner.
> Can't say I've seen any so far, anyone disagree?



I disagree.

Baldie goatee, as i dubbed him, looked really really promising.
Lemon basil tart lady seemed pretty promising too, providing that she can continue to come up with out there combos that actually work.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 4, 2009)

Marius said:


> I disagree.
> 
> Baldie goatee, as i dubbed him, looked really really promising.
> Lemon basil tart lady seemed pretty promising too, providing that she can continue to come up with out there combos that actually work.



Yep, baldie goatee and the young guy from a few weeks back (think someone on here described him as a woodland creature ) 
Lemon basil tart was genius


----------



## trashpony (Feb 4, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Yep, baldie goatee and the young guy from a few weeks back (think someone on here described him as a woodland creature )
> Lemon basil tart was genius



Ah yes, woodland Chris 

Also, they do tend to focus on the downsides at this stage. Whenever they get to the end of a semi final, they are always saying that the winner's food was superb in a way that gives you the feeling that there was no real contest. It's telly innit


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 4, 2009)

Peas + mint!!! Peas + mint !!!


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 4, 2009)

why can they never taste the scallop??


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 4, 2009)

la ressistance said:


> why can they never taste the scallop??



cos it doesn't taste of anything


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 4, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> cos it doesn't taste of anything



lies.


----------



## colacubes (Feb 4, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> cos it doesn't taste of anything




Innit   Fucking scallops again ffs


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 4, 2009)

nipsla said:


> Innit   Fucking scallops again ffs



scallops are tasty.they t\ste of stuff. your wrong.


----------



## Gromit (Feb 4, 2009)

I'm entering next year.

Starter: Welsh Rarebit with scallops on top followed by a main of Fillet of Garden Pea with a mint and pea purée on a bed of lettuce and mint.


----------



## Gromit (Feb 4, 2009)

They were all rubbish today. So they choose the pretty blond girl again. 

He was about to slag her off, she started to have a weepy and he did a u-turn. If that had been a sweaty hairy bloke we'd have had comments about not knowing whether he could handle the pressure. It don't half annoy me.


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 4, 2009)

Marius said:


> I'm entering next year.
> 
> Starter: Welsh Rarebit with scallops on top followed by a main of Fillet of Garden Pea with a mint and pea purée on a bed of lettuce and mint.



where's the cous-cous  ???????


----------



## water lily (Feb 4, 2009)

i wanted the skinny smug guy to win. at least he could cook (a bit). grrrrrrrrr.


----------



## N_igma (Feb 4, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> cos it doesn't taste of anything



Don't have much of a pallet then do you?


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 4, 2009)

I like to think I do but I've never thought much of the scallop - nice texture though


----------



## strung out (Feb 4, 2009)

that was a fucking stitch up tonight


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 4, 2009)

i posted a load of shit about the stitch up tonite and then deleted it cos i was so embarasssed about making up conspiracy theories about tv shows


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 4, 2009)

they taste exxxpensive _ and lovely.id put them in the same league as parma ham and belly pork.____bloody lovely.


----------



## Funky_monks (Feb 5, 2009)

la ressistance said:


> lies.



Scallops taste of lies?


----------



## May Kasahara (Feb 5, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> i posted a load of shit about the stitch up tonite and then deleted it cos i was so embarasssed about making up conspiracy theories about tv shows





i'm looking forward to settling down to the hour long episode tonight. who will arbitrarily be sent home because they 'don't want it enough'?


----------



## trashpony (Feb 5, 2009)

May Kasahara said:


> i'm looking forward to settling down to the hour long episode tonight. who will arbitrarily be sent home because they 'don't want it enough'?



Refresh my memory on who they were - there was the crying Geordie, Cassanda and who won on Monday? And there's tonight's winner of course 

I reckon Cassanda. That polenta thing she made in the first round was just wrong


----------



## Santino (Feb 5, 2009)

Missed it yesterday. Is it worth iPlaying?


----------



## May Kasahara (Feb 5, 2009)

trashpony said:


> Refresh my memory on who they were - there was the crying Geordie, Cassanda and who won on Monday? And there's tonight's winner of course
> 
> I reckon Cassanda. That polenta thing she made in the first round was just wrong



you've got better recollection than me  capricious baby whims meant i didn't see most of this week's bunch, although cassandra does stick in the mind for being so clearly a stooge of the polenta marketing board. and for looking like a refugee from battlestar galactica.


----------



## foamy (Feb 5, 2009)

May Kasahara said:


> you've got better recollection than me  capricious baby whims meant i didn't see most of this week's bunch, although cassandra does stick in the mind for being so clearly a stooge of the polenta marketing board. and for looking like a refugee from battlestar galactica.



 just watched tuesdays and wednesdays episodes on the sky planner.
cassandra was very strange and her cooking no better, she definitely had some sort of polenta sponsership going on.

although watching greg the toad gobble a whole slimey raliovli was my personal low point


----------



## trashpony (Feb 5, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Missed it yesterday. Is it worth iPlaying?



You might fancy Cassandra. Mutt and Jeff certainly did but I wouldn't watch it for the cooking which was average at best


----------



## Gromit (Feb 5, 2009)

Cassandra should get kicked off but I have a feeling that she'll know posh ingrediants and will sit there looking cute n vulnerable. John can't resist blondes so she'll be through. 

The only hope we have that she doesn't is if she identifies a potatoe as a Mellon or something.


----------



## DRINK? (Feb 5, 2009)

thought the chef last night was a t*sspot, why is it that every chef that has the contestants in their kitchens is rude, egotistical and invariably running some piece of sh*t periphery restaurant that scrapes an AA rosette , yet they smash and crash and swear like Gordon Ramsey. 

They had them in Wagamamas the other day and the geezer is all like "It needs to be PERFECT!" Yeah whatever mate! F*ck that off - I'd walk out - and maybe burn the apron for a laugh too


----------



## tarannau (Feb 5, 2009)

Because it's TV stupid.

Besides places like Wagamama are ruthless - portion control and consistency are their equivalent of culinary quality standards


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 5, 2009)

Best/worst so far:


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Feb 5, 2009)

^^^   THAT was truly awful.

LOL & the veggie cooking pancetta like that!
Why even bother?


----------



## fractionMan (Feb 5, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Best/worst so far:



what the fuck is that?


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 5, 2009)

fractionMan said:


> what the fuck is that?



tinned chickpeas, tinned toms, bacon, new spuds and a splash of wine


----------



## Gromit (Feb 5, 2009)

DRINK? said:


> thought the chef last night was a t*sspot, why is it that every chef that has the contestants in their kitchens is rude, egotistical and invariably running some piece of sh*t periphery restaurant that scrapes an AA rosette , yet they smash and crash and swear like Gordon Ramsey.
> 
> They had them in Wagamamas the other day and the geezer is all like "It needs to be PERFECT!" Yeah whatever mate! F*ck that off - I'd walk out - and maybe burn the apron for a laugh too


 
Er hello? Its the pressure test. Its not meant to be nicey nicey but showing hard and tough kitchen life is etc. etc. 
Can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen type stuff. Drama! Excitiment!

Plus all head chefs want to be seen on telly as perfectionists, even if they ain't. Reputation innit. Do you think any of them are really going to let themselves be filmed on the pass sending out any rubbish?


----------



## trashpony (Feb 5, 2009)

Let's face it, there doesn't appear to be a really great attention to detail in Wagamama's a lot of the time 

Love that pic OU - have you got a shot of that half eaten carrot too?


----------



## Gromit (Feb 5, 2009)

Black pudding and scallops!

Sooo glad Cassandra went. They were teasing us that she might not but thank god she bombed the ingredients. Did you notice her drawing a bleeding mind map in her passion test prep? Fooking poncey company directors.


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 5, 2009)

Wossa mind map?


----------



## Gromit (Feb 5, 2009)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind_map


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 5, 2009)

aah I see


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 5, 2009)

'That tart feels like it's picked you up by the ears and given you a big snog!'


----------



## Gromit (Feb 5, 2009)

Best man on the day won. I would have liked to have seen Graham win too but he went chicken and made his menu too easy.  His nervousness was his downfall in the end. I guess the pressure of the final would have torn him to shreds.


----------



## LindaR (Feb 5, 2009)

I've worked in professional kitchens - OK, I was a lot younger, and not doing anything important - and I don't remember anyone being so much of a twat as some of those professionals are.
That said, one kitchen where I had a washing up job was run by a chef who used to eat curry with custard poured over it...


----------



## May Kasahara (Feb 5, 2009)

Was Greg having his period or something? Unusually harsh in the first half, I thought.

Of course I didn't get to see the second half due to teething baby...


----------



## colacubes (Feb 5, 2009)

Is it wrong that I had a little cry at the end when Chris won?

In mitigation it is my time of the month


----------



## trashpony (Feb 5, 2009)

nipsla said:


> Is it wrong that I had a little cry at the end when Chris won?
> 
> In mitigation it is my time of the month



I had a bit of grit in my eye but that was unconnected to his wife/partner losing it on the end of the phone.


----------



## colacubes (Feb 5, 2009)

trashpony said:


> I had a bit of grit in my eye but that was unconnected to his wife/partner losing it on the end of the phone.



My hormones are really fucked if I'm crying at the end of Masterchef aren't they


----------



## trashpony (Feb 5, 2009)

nipsla said:


> My hormones are really fucked if I'm crying at the end of Masterchef aren't they



I have no excuse. I am teary at fucking everything. I've turned into a sentimental old fool


----------



## badlands (Feb 5, 2009)

I'm glad Nick Cotton won.


----------



## Santino (Feb 6, 2009)

I liked that when he said he was through, his wife said 'I love you so much'.

If he'd said 'I lost', would she have said 'You dozy twat, I knew you'd fuck it up'?


----------



## Rollem (Feb 6, 2009)

Alex B said:


> I liked that when he said he was through, his wife said 'I love you so much'.


i thought it was one of his kids


----------



## tarannau (Feb 6, 2009)

badlands said:


> I'm glad Nick Cotton won.



Same here. He was my fave by a country mile

Pretty rubbish standard of cooking this week mind, particularly in the episode immediately before this week's (quarter?) final. They had some excellent ingredients in the first round and the succession of shit dishes was something to behold. Soggy boiled wontons with lime ffs!


----------



## BoatieBird (Feb 6, 2009)

Marius said:


> The only hope we have that she doesn't is if she identifies a potatoe as a Mellon or something.



Spookily close to the truth - she thought blackberries were pears. Pears? It was dark purple ffs!

I was hoping graham would go through, but I think Chris was a worthy winner


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 6, 2009)

But Chris couldn't identify Strawberry purree in the ingredients test, yet one of his dishes in the final round was based entirely around strawberries


----------



## strung out (Feb 6, 2009)

i thought that was graham. i wasnt watching very closely mind


----------



## tarannau (Feb 6, 2009)

BoatieBird said:


> Spookily close to the truth - she thought blackberries were pears. Pears? It was dark purple ffs!
> 
> I was hoping graham would go through, but I think Chris was a worthy winner



And wasn't a quail a poussin to her? First time that silly elimination before cooking process has worked for me - clearly someone that daft needs to go. When you're working on 'experimental' flavour combinations (ie winging it) then it doesn't say much for your palate (or eyes) when you mistake blackberries for pears

I thought the cypriot bloke did identify strawberries - it was Mr Weepy who didn't, albeit he seemed to talk himself out of saying the correct answer.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 6, 2009)

strung_out said:


> i thought that was graham. i wasnt watching very closely mind



oh yeah, big chin guy. You're right.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 6, 2009)

strung_out said:


> i thought that was graham. i wasnt watching very closely mind


yes, it was graham who couldn't identify strawberries. 

but the let him go through cos apparently he was a "_volcano of food emotion_"


----------



## Melinda (Feb 6, 2009)




----------



## fucthest8 (Feb 6, 2009)

Good work :-D

Trashpony - you may be discovering what happens to you after having kids. I'ma bloke and it happened to me, I cry at fucking verything now!


----------



## Melinda (Feb 6, 2009)

Its courtesy of B3ta!


----------



## softybabe (Feb 6, 2009)

Melinda said:


>



oh dear!


----------



## Mitre10 (Feb 8, 2009)

Again, courtesy of b3ta:


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Feb 8, 2009)

Mitre10 said:


> Again, courtesy of b3ta:



 That has cheered me up no end!


----------



## N_igma (Feb 10, 2009)

I knew last years quality was better and that proved it.


----------



## trashpony (Feb 10, 2009)

N_igma said:


> I knew last years quality was better and that proved it.



I don't know why but I find it really hard to get into the people from the previous year. I don't know if it's because there's no whittling down till the end but I don't care very much about them


----------



## strung out (Feb 10, 2009)

there's no human involvement. i need to know their story


----------



## ymu (Feb 10, 2009)

Bloody hell, they were a bit good.


----------



## Sweaty Betty (Feb 10, 2009)

Winner from tonights show i reckon, he was pretty shit hot!!!!!


----------



## ymu (Feb 10, 2009)

trashpony said:


> I don't know why but I find it really hard to get into the people from the previous year. I don't know if it's because there's no whittling down till the end but I don't care very much about them


I dunno. This is the first one of those I've seen all the way through.

I guess from the producers' point of view, there's no need to weed out the no-hopers so the first round is redundant. Having two stints in a pro kitchen replaces the first round quite well. Do the previous losers always have to create their own dish in these rounds?


----------



## pigtails (Feb 10, 2009)

Sweaty Betty said:


> Winner from tonights show i reckon, he was pretty shit hot!!!!!



and really nice!


----------



## Sweaty Betty (Feb 10, 2009)

pigtails said:


> and really nice!



His voice annoyed me, but id do him for his food


----------



## trashpony (Feb 10, 2009)

strung_out said:


> there's no human involvement. i need to know their story



I think that's it. Even though they were saying that bloke worked in a stable I didn't feel it. I also think they were too good - I quite warm to the crappiness of a lot of them


----------



## strung out (Feb 10, 2009)

its like x-factor where the best bit are the heats with everyone being shit and being told they're shit in the first few weeks


----------



## trashpony (Feb 10, 2009)

strung_out said:


> its like x-factor where the best bit are the heats with everyone being shit and being told they're shit in the first few weeks



Yeah. I really think they should make an outtakes programme like they do with the x-factor - they're on telly, they're up for public ridicule surely. I want to see that bloke with the chewed carrot again


----------



## Gromit (Feb 10, 2009)

Three who probably would have each won through to the quarters in different rounds where weaker peeps got through. 

Felt sorry for the girl. She wanted it so bad she worked with a bad hand. She wasn't just saying she wanted it. She was prepared to suffer to prove it. 

Best guy won though. I wanted to scoff those courses myself.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 11, 2009)

Is this the last week of quarter finals, does anyone know?


----------



## strung out (Feb 11, 2009)

yup, semi finals next week


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 11, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Is this the last week of quarter finals, does anyone know?



It's the only week of quarter finals


----------



## strung out (Feb 11, 2009)

no... quarter finals happen on the thursday of each week


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 11, 2009)

strung_out said:


> yup, semi finals next week



hurrah! Getting a bit bored of the quarter final format now.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 11, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> It's the only week of quarter finals


----------



## strung out (Feb 11, 2009)

think orang is getting confused


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 11, 2009)

strung_out said:


> no... quarter finals happen on the thursday of each week



oh yeah, d'oh


----------



## Biddlybee (Feb 11, 2009)

strung_out said:


> no... quarter finals happen on the thursday of each week


I thought Thursday was for a place in the quarter finals


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 11, 2009)

BiddlyBee said:


> I thought Thursday was for a place in the quarter finals



oh yeah, of course it is!


----------



## Santino (Feb 11, 2009)

No more making dishes up from random ingredients.  That's the best bit, like the auditions in X Factor.


----------



## strung out (Feb 11, 2009)

shows 1-4 (monday to thursday) are for a place in the quarter finals. the second show on a thursday is the quarter final, which decide places in the semi finals, which start next week


----------



## Biddlybee (Feb 11, 2009)

oh


----------



## tarannau (Feb 11, 2009)

It does seem to have gone on forever now. The whole formulaic nature of the show really begins to bite it in the arse at this point - everything's so by clockwork that it almost works like a series of Fast Show catch phrases rather than a cookery programme. There's the DnB/breakbeat dancey soundtrack to denote the pressure in the kitchens, the slower tense tuneage at the point of judging, footage of Greg and/or John rubbing chins and disagreeing unconvincingly. And then the wonderful cheesy moment when the winner's annouced and Greg bursts into the forced smile of the Cheshire cat having cocaine blown up its anus.

I still like it, but there's an element of comedy about the gurns and quirks.


----------



## tarannau (Feb 11, 2009)

eh? <weird double post business>


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 11, 2009)

an _element_ of comedy?! the whole damned thing is a complete comedy, its almost become a parody of itself like you say, its why its such compelling viewing imo. how many more expressions can greg come up with? how much wider can john open his gob? how much more passion and journey and flavour can we take!!!!!!!


----------



## tarannau (Feb 11, 2009)

You mean that you don't eat like that? That forkmouth Jenga is what separates the discerning palates from the rest of the proles.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 11, 2009)

i'm proper refined me and hold my knife and fork in a pen-grip. they hold theirs like shovels and hoy the food in in a most uncouth manner. 

i reckon that they're related to the reticulated python, the amount of leverage and width they manage (and john does look like a snake tbh).


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 11, 2009)

Nowt wrong with their eating

As I mentioned earlier on this thread, Masterchef needs a Cassetteboy re-edit.
Here's what they did with Jamie Oliver: More:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cassetteboy&view=videos


----------



## tarannau (Feb 11, 2009)

After seeing Cassetteboy at Glastobury I'd rather not.

A hour of shitty tedium featuring mainly Match of The Day and overexposed Bush samples, clumsily spliced together with zero charm. Oh and accompanied with a tragically untalented novelty rapper and a couple of people in monkey suits doing interpretative dancing and pretending to fuck. i really tried to like it, throwing enough MDMA down my throat to sink a small battleship, but it was honestly one of the most witless and lazy things I've ever seen on stage. I came away thinking of that story of the Emperor and his new clothes.

Masterchef and its faces are plenty funnier than that


----------



## Pip (Feb 11, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Nowt wrong with their eating
> 
> As I mentioned earlier on this thread, Masterchef needs a Cassetteboy re-edit.
> Here's what they did with Jamie Oliver: More:
> http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cassetteboy&view=videos



Did you go to Disco Bloodbath?


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 11, 2009)

Pip said:


> Did you go to Disco Bloodbath?


Nope - I went to Plex and stayed for about 2 hours


----------



## Pip (Feb 11, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Nope - I went to Plex and stayed for about 2 hours



Are you going to Real Gold?


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 11, 2009)

Pip said:


> Are you going to Real Gold?


No, not heard of it - was going to go to Lowlife but I have to work


----------



## Pip (Feb 11, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> No, not heard of it - was going to go to Lowlife but I have to work



Well hear of it. Hot tub, karaoke and bowling 

PS I meant Rich History.


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 11, 2009)

Sounds ideal!


----------



## PacificOcean (Feb 11, 2009)

I only caught this by chance as I was flicking past and they were playing trance music in the background.

Never seen it before but I am now hooked!

Shame I have missed so much of it.


----------



## N_igma (Feb 12, 2009)

Glad Andy went through tonight. While Michelle is a brilliant cook of Indian food, she never showed any versatility or ability to cook any other style of food and I'm sure the judges took that into consideration when voting. I'd have to tip Andy for the title now.


----------



## Gromit (Feb 12, 2009)

She have never have gotten through the final cooking only curry or curry or curry. Not when they have those various fine dining rounds with the army officers, toffs and top chef rounds.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 13, 2009)

oh my god, i love masterchef so much 

There are some excellent & lovely people in the semi finals. I think I may cry every night next week. 
Are there normally 3 in the final? I really hope these 3 are 'woodland' Chris, the goatee biker guy, and Andy from last night. 

Andy's food looks like beautiful works of art


----------



## PacificOcean (Feb 13, 2009)

There are a couple of posters who appeared on the show on Digitalspy who have said the whole thing is heavily edited and not like what is shown.  Michele from last night was posting saying they edited it unfairly (she says she didn't make a big a hash of breakfast as they made out).

I guess all TV like this is though or it wouldn't be half as entertaining.


----------



## mrsfran (Feb 13, 2009)

PacificOcean said:


> There are a couple of posters who appeared on the show on Digitalspy who have said the whole thing is heavily edited and not like what is shown. Michele from last night was posting saying they edited it unfairly (she says she didn't make a big a hash of breakfast as they made out).
> 
> I guess all TV like this is though or it wouldn't be half as entertaining.


 
Of course they bloody do! Every single programme is identical in storyline. Every single restaurant-service bit has one start off well, have a wobble then get better, one start badly then get better, and one do reasonably all the way through. Every. Single. Time.


----------



## May Kasahara (Feb 13, 2009)

^^^ 

last night was a particularly high-scoring show for Masterchef Bingo, i thought.


----------



## mrsfran (Feb 13, 2009)

May Kasahara said:


> ^^^
> 
> last night was a particularly high-scoring show for Masterchef Bingo, i thought.


 
It was a good 'un. Greg shouted "EXCEPTIONAL" twice and screwed up his face and said "phwoar/cor" repeatedly. John outdid himself in the forkmouth action. At least two contestants said "I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could win it" and at least one said "this isn't the end, it's just the beginning". Very high scoring.


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 13, 2009)

There's nothing I want more than this


----------



## Santino (Feb 13, 2009)

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could go all the way"

"This isn't the end, I'll carry on cooking"

I reckon they record every single contestant saying those two things, and then pick the best performances in the edit suite.


----------



## pigtails (Feb 13, 2009)

Where was the pea and mint puree last night 


I love pea and mint


----------



## Biddlybee (Feb 13, 2009)

Bleurgh peas and mint - it's wrong I tell ya 

No scallops either


----------



## fen_boy (Feb 13, 2009)

Who was it who cooked a pigeon and mushroom ravioli the other day? that looked really good.


----------



## pigtails (Feb 13, 2009)

BiddlyBee said:


> Bleurgh peas and mint - it's wrong I tell ya
> 
> No scallops either



NO! It's yummy - if a tad cliched!

Oh yeah, no scallops either 
What is the world coming to - how do they expect to win with no scallops!!



Scallops ming though!


----------



## Biddlybee (Feb 13, 2009)

The bloke that got through - Andy.


----------



## pigtails (Feb 13, 2009)

fen_boy said:


> Who was it who cooked a pigeon and mushroom ravioli the other day? that looked really good.



That was Andy that went through last night - I like the look of his cooking *licks lips*


----------



## strung out (Feb 16, 2009)

seemed to be a fair amount of boo boos in the semi today. sad to see the two girls go out but wassernames experimental dish was really a bit mental.


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

That lass who blubbed a lot needed to do something with her hair


----------



## BoatieBird (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> That lass who blubbed a lot needed to do something with her hair



There was a fair amount of blubbing going on all over the place last night!

I thought the best 4 got through, but I was really disappointed for Denise.
I'm going to stick my neck out and say Andy will be the winner.


----------



## Gromit (Feb 17, 2009)

No girls in the final! I'm surprised. I thought they'd pander to demographics but they did the right thing and ignored sex and picked the best four.

I'm disappointed that Angela didn't get through because its proved that her experimental cooking was luck and not genius. She went mental with her ingredients. Even if it had some of them had worked i think we had two plates there not one.

Andy was soo lucky to get through on the strength of past cooking. 2 hours to prepare a dish and he did something he could have knocked up in 45 mins.


----------



## Gavin Bl (Feb 17, 2009)

BoatieBird said:


> I thought the best 4 got through, but I was really disappointed for Denise.



She just did a school dinner with a big piece of cornmeal in the middle, don't know what she was thinking of.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 17, 2009)

I thought they were all a bit poor last night. There weren't any outstanding dishes. Oh - sorry - EXCEPTIONAL dishes 
John and Greg seemed quite underwhelmed, which kind of depressed me. I rely on their over excitment to cheer me in the evenings!

Is the actual final on Thursday then? 
Or are they going to drag it out into next week aswell.....


----------



## N_igma (Feb 17, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Is the actual final on Thursday then?
> Or are they going to drag it out into next week aswell.....



Last year it was 3 in the final. It was broken up into segments, one of the episodes was cooking for hundreds of people, one of them was going to top restaurants on the continent, another was cooking for lots of top food critics, the final was a 3 course meal so reckon it probably will drag out to next week or maybe Friday!


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 17, 2009)

I can't even remember who it was that won last year. I can only remember a really young (and slightly annoying) girl who was amazingly creative. 

Do we ever find out what actually happened to previous winners? I mean, have any of them ever actually gone on to open their own restaurant like they planned? Or do they generally just end up going back to their old jobs.....


----------



## N_igma (Feb 17, 2009)

I forget his name but I remember his face, he looked like Ray Parlour the ex-Arsenal player iirc. I think he did end up opening his own place though dunno if he's got Michellin stars or anything. Regardless, winning Masterchef is a good selling point for any aspiring chef.


----------



## The Boy (Feb 17, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> I can't even remember who it was that won last year. I can only remember a really young (and slightly annoying) girl who was amazingly creative.
> 
> Do we ever find out what actually happened to previous winners? I mean, have any of them ever actually gone on to open their own restaurant like they planned? Or do they generally just end up going back to their old jobs.....



I'm sure last year they did a special 'where are they now?' type show between the semis and the final.  From what I can remember (and from what has been posted here) few of the finalists end up in restaurants, although a lot of them do end up working in food - writing, catering companies and the like.


----------



## Santino (Feb 17, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> I can't even remember who it was that won last year. I can only remember a really young (and slightly annoying) girl who was amazingly creative.
> 
> Do we ever find out what actually happened to previous winners? I mean, have any of them ever actually gone on to open their own restaurant like they planned? Or do they generally just end up going back to their old jobs.....


I think the girl from the first series now runs a chain of Mexican foodatoriums. One of the blokes who won turned up running the kitchen in Great British Menu.


----------



## Santino (Feb 17, 2009)

One of them went to work in Le Gavroche.


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 17, 2009)

Alex B said:


> I think the girl from the first series now runs a chain of Mexican foodatoriums. .



yeah,they cooked there this series.she also had her own cookery prog.
tomasina myers her name is.


----------



## pigtails (Feb 17, 2009)

la ressistance said:


> yeah,they cooked there this series.she also had her own cookery prog.
> tomasina myers her name is.



I find her irritating


----------



## la ressistance (Feb 17, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Is the actual final on Thursday then?
> Or are they going to drag it out into next week aswell.....



next week .


----------



## N_igma (Feb 17, 2009)

I prefer Mat and Chris as a team!


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

I'm bored of it - it's run out of steam


----------



## trashpony (Feb 17, 2009)

la ressistance said:


> yeah,they cooked there this series.she also had her own cookery prog.
> tomasina myers her name is.



She runs wahaca in covent garden - it's massively popular, you have to queue for ages to get a table. And she writes a column for the times. 

I am not that engaged this series for some reason


----------



## pigtails (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> I'm bored of it - it's run out of steam



yep


Boring!!


----------



## Santino (Feb 17, 2009)

When is The Apprentice back?


----------



## N_igma (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> I'm bored of it - it's run out of steam



You're only saying that because they had to cook for loads of people tonight.


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

N_igma said:


> You're only saying that because they had to cook for loads of people tonight.



Nah, I was bored from the start


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

Alex B said:


> When is The Apprentice back?



Who gives a shit?


----------



## N_igma (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Nah, I was bored from the start



But it's _your _ thread! Masterchef traitor!


----------



## LindaR (Feb 17, 2009)

Alex B said:


> One of the blokes who won turned up running the kitchen in Great British Menu.



Thank you! I kept saying that was him, nobody else in the family would believe me, and I couldn't track him down online!

The bloke that won last year runs a restaurant in Spain, IIRC.


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## Santino (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Who gives a shit?


Me. It's like Big Brother but actually worth watching for a laugh.


----------



## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

Nah, it's about who gets to be biggest cunt - yawn


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## Santino (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Nah, it's about who gets to be biggest cunt - yawn


A large portion of the programme is idiotic cunts making fools of themselves in a vile display of pandering to selfish capitalism. 

What more can you ask from an evening's entertainment?


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## Jeff Robinson (Feb 17, 2009)

I see the Masterchef website has describes Gregg Wallace as a "vegetable guru". Really? I can't see him getting excited over vegetables unless they're deep fried in chocolate, glazed in honey, topped with vanilla cream and served with a raspberry coulis.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 17, 2009)

its gorn baws nah


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## Santino (Feb 17, 2009)

Jeff Robinson said:


> I see the Masterchef website has describes Gregg Wallace as a "vegetable guru". Really? I can't see him getting excited over vegetables unless they're deep fried in chocolate, glazed in honey, topped with vanilla cream and served with a raspberry coulis.


He clearly ran a veg stall for 20 years. He probably used to sell parnsips to a BBC producer.


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## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

Alex B said:


> A large portion of the programme is idiotic cunts making fools of themselves in a vile display of pandering to selfish capitalism.
> 
> What more can you ask from an evening's entertainment?


Dunno - I find it boring - it's not about food, just money - yawn


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## Santino (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Dunno - I find it boring - it's not about food, just money - yawn


It's about idiotic cunts


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## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

Boring


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## N_igma (Feb 17, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Boring



You're boring!


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## Orang Utan (Feb 17, 2009)

I only like Masterchef and now even that's shit


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## BoatieBird (Feb 18, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> I can't even remember who it was that won last year. I can only remember a really young (and slightly annoying) girl who was amazingly creative.
> 
> Do we ever find out what actually happened to previous winners? I mean, have any of them ever actually gone on to open their own restaurant like they planned? Or do they generally just end up going back to their old jobs.....



James (or maybe Jamie?) he's done a couple of features in Good Food mag too.


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## N_igma (Feb 19, 2009)

Don't think Chris was the worst over all but he didn't produce the goods when it mattered. Young Christopher is improving all the time, still fancy Andy but anything could happen.


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## Spark (Feb 20, 2009)

I misssed it last night - what happened?


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## tarannau (Feb 20, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> I only like Masterchef and now even that's shit



it was always shit. It's just the law of diminishing returns. A man can take only so much gurning and fork shovelling before it tips from the entertainingly daft to the tiresome.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 20, 2009)

Spark said:


> I misssed it last night - what happened?


cypriot chris with the goatie was kicked out cos he got all flustered and messed up his flavour combinations!!


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## hektik (Feb 20, 2009)

i noticed something last night, and was going to photoshop it, but someone beat me to it: how much does the fat food critic look like peter griffin:


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## Hellsbells (Feb 20, 2009)

i'm so upset that Chris went out. That Andy one did well, but he comes across as quite arrogant, like he almost expects he's going to win. I hate that. 

And those food critics all needed a big slap in the face, especially that sourfaced bitch woman


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## Biddlybee (Feb 20, 2009)

Why, Chris was quite shit last night, blood on the mash  

And the critics weren't that bad.


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## Hellsbells (Feb 20, 2009)

BiddlyBee said:


> Why, Chris was quite shit last night, blood on the mash
> 
> And the critics weren't that bad.



I know, but normally he's good. I just felt sorry for him. And he seems like a really nice person.


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## boing! (Feb 20, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> And those food critics all needed a big slap in the face, especially that sourfaced bitch woman



I agreee. There's something about food critics. Every restaurant review I've ever read has made me want to give the author a slap.


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## PacificOcean (Feb 20, 2009)

How does she manage to be a restaurant critic and be so thin?


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## Badger Kitten (Feb 20, 2009)

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/diet_and_fitness/article1625715.ece

Kate Spicer. She's had a fair few forays into 'investigative' botox and dieting


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## la ressistance (Feb 20, 2009)

i fancy kate spicer.


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## Structaural (Feb 20, 2009)

PacificOcean said:


> How does she manage to be a restaurant critic and be so thin?



bullimia


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## May Kasahara (Feb 20, 2009)

I'm rooting for Woodland Chris now. Andy has got the chops (ha ha) but is rather too bloodless and arrogant, and Ming the Merciless just freaks me out in a jolly sort of way.


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## FabricLiveBaby! (Feb 20, 2009)

I was soo pleased when Woodland Chris got through.  I agree with you may,  that Andy does seem to be permenantly smug.  Although has humbled somewhat.


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## tarannau (Feb 20, 2009)

May Kasahara said:


> I'm rooting for Woodland Chris now. Andy has got the chops (ha ha) but is rather too bloodless and arrogant, and Ming the Merciless just freaks me out in a jolly sort of way.



I'm with Ming, but I agree with the jolly face thing. There's something strangely feminine about his features, one of those middle aged bikers who should be vaguely threatening but somehow looks as cheerily harmless as a pirate in Capt Pugwash.


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## Orang Utan (Feb 20, 2009)

why is he called Woodland Chris?


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## May Kasahara (Feb 20, 2009)

Because he looks like a little forest faun


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## Orang Utan (Feb 20, 2009)

Like this?


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## Biddlybee (Feb 20, 2009)

Yes 

I kind of like Mat/Ming too - he cooks great seafood, and isn't as smug as Andy.


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## N_igma (Feb 20, 2009)

His presentation has also improved, I hope he wins now. Although there's nothing wrong with Woodland Chris, I just don't particularly like him lol. Andy is too smug for my liking.


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## Badger Kitten (Feb 20, 2009)

is it on now? when is it next on?


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## trashpony (Feb 20, 2009)

Badger Kitten said:


> is it on now? when is it next on?



Monday. Next week is the army bit. I like that. Yeah I don't like that smug Andy bloke but big Chris did a crap course, got to admit. And woodland Chris and Matt were spot on. I have a bit of a crush on Matt


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## Badger Kitten (Feb 20, 2009)

Ooh thanks Trashy.

 I thinks Andy's food is best but I don't warm to him; however, in a chef I want food I warm to and do not care much about the personality of the chef, unless he is the type of person who flies into spluttering rages.

Because then spit would get in the food.


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## trashpony (Feb 20, 2009)

Badger Kitten said:


> Ooh thanks Trashy.
> 
> I thinks Andy's food is best but I don't warm to him; however, in a chef I want food I warm to and do not care much about the personality of the chef, unless he is the type of person who flies into spluttering rages.
> 
> Because then spit would get in the food.



That is a very good point. I was going to say that their personalities matter a lot as I am not likely to eat in any of their restaurants but I have eaten in Wahaca a few times and saw Thomasina Meiers once and nearly did a sex wee so that's not true. She doesn't look the spitty type either


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## la ressistance (Feb 21, 2009)

its the sweat that worries me.all that extra salt in my food.yuk.


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## Hellsbells (Feb 21, 2009)

Woodland Chris freaks me out slightly - why does he have stubble UNDER his chin and not on his face  It looks wierd


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## Gromit (Feb 21, 2009)

Right i just caught up with all my episodes.

Woodland Chris is obviously very good at recipes he's practised. The moment he has to do something off the cuff his inexperience shows massively. I was surprised he got through. Yes he had a good final round but watch him fluffed it again and again next week if its not one of his own dishes.

Based on performance so far i think Andy deserves it the most. However none of em would have made it this far in previously years methinks.


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2009)

What's the masterchef thread doing disappearing off the first page 

So, what are people's thoughts on this week so far? 

Can't help feeling a bit sorry for poor Chris. He seems a bit out of his depth.
I still love Matt, but have the feeling Andy is gonna end up winning.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 25, 2009)

i think its the sheer length of the series that's worn everyone down. i agree that woodland chris's flushed cheeks are showing the pressure, andy looks like he's growing into it all, but matt is still a freaky looking motherfucker who unsettles and disturbs me.


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## BoatieBird (Feb 25, 2009)

I did say last week that I thought Andy was going to win, but I think Matt's chances are getting better.
Agree that Chris looks out of his depth.
Every time he appears on screen we chorus 'fwightened' (this will only make sense if you have a child and watch Bear Behaving Badly)


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## Biddlybee (Feb 25, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> i think its the sheer length of the series that's worn everyone down. i agree that woodland chris's flushed cheeks are showing the pressure, andy looks like he's growing into it all, but matt is still a freaky looking motherfucker who unsettles and disturbs me.






I think Andy is going to win it. BK is right, it shouldn't matter that he's smug and annoying, but more that he can cook - but he is really smug all the time!


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## Santino (Feb 25, 2009)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> but matt is still a freaky looking motherfucker who unsettles and disturbs me.


Do you think he would maintain that benign, slightly bewildered expression even as he was eviscerating you with a chef's knife and pulling your liver out of your still-living body?


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 25, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Do you think he would maintain that benign, slightly bewildered expression even as he was eviscerating you with a chef's knife and pulling your liver out of your still-living body?


No, i think he'd be slightly smiling and dribbling from the side of his mouth, ever so gently


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2009)

I like Matt's eyebrows.

It made me laugh yesterday when John actually ended up getting his hands dirty and helped Andy do some chopping in the kitchen. Instead of peering over the contestant's shoulders and constantly rolling his eyes and tutting in exasparation.


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## g force (Feb 25, 2009)

Yep but did you see his face....christ he couldn't have looked more pissed off while he chopped fruit!


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## tarannau (Feb 25, 2009)

Has Andy been watching himself and decided to show a little humility then. Every little 'inbetween' film had him trying to sound a little less smug, in a rather less than convincing manner it has to be said.

Andy probably will win it, but he's had a hefty advantage in being able to return. I'm inclined to believe that he actually has been perfecting his Masterchef friendly recipes for the last year.


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## trashpony (Feb 25, 2009)

tarannau said:


> I'm inclined to believe that he actually has been perfecting his Masterchef friendly recipes for the last year.



Surely not!  

I've totally lost interest this year - I think it's dead in the water now. Needs a new format


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## tarannau (Feb 25, 2009)

trashpony said:


> Surely not!
> 
> I've totally lost interest this year - I think it's dead in the water now. Needs a new format



I'd actually like to imagine that Andy's been feverishly working on his most techically demanding recipes for the past year, cursing whilst artfully arranging plates amongst an apartment festooned with ripped photos of John and Greg.


What was telling was a brief reappearance of last year's finalists, who I'd totally forgotten about. For beardy girlie face Matt they had the equivalent in that loud Irish chap with glasses, who also liked his big hearty flavours and had clumsy presentation. There was the Chris style young un, albeit in that more experimental female form. And the slightly smug one who it was difficult to warm to (James?), you know the one with the best and most refined technical skills, who went on to win.


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## Gromit (Feb 26, 2009)

I always love this round where the top chefs are served. The contestants always get so emotional but its endearing cause i know that i too would be frigging chuffed to have some of those guys say nice thing to me.


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## FabricLiveBaby! (Feb 26, 2009)

At this stage in the final don't they normally create their own recipes to feed to the top chefs?  Or am I making it up?  Last year didn't they create and serve their OWN recipes as opposed to someone else's recipes?


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## tarannau (Feb 26, 2009)

You're making it up I think. They always cooked some ridiculous Michelinesque feast for the table of top chefs iirc, recreating over ornate ponce recipes.


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## FabricLiveBaby! (Feb 26, 2009)

tarannau said:


> You're making it up I think. They always cooked some ridiculous Michelinesque feast for the table of top chefs iirc, recreating over ornate ponce recipes.




Yeah,  but weren't they their OWN ornate ponce recipes?  I@m not siputing the cooking for poncy chefs bit,  it's just that theis year they weren't their own recipies (but some other poncy chef's.)


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## Gromit (Feb 26, 2009)

Last year, if I remember correctly, they had a star chef watching over them insisting they get his signature dishes just right. Acting almost as if he and his dishes were being judged not the skill of the contestants who were executing the dishes.


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## Gromit (Feb 26, 2009)

Btw does it really take chefs "years" to learn how to do a chocolate teardrop? I think that might have been an exageration.


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## DRINK? (Feb 26, 2009)

they always cook other chefs dishes for that episode....they admitted it themselves that they were not at that level to create their own....Really hope Matt wins....seems a nice guy, not that the others aren't and he's a bit emotional though he is defo my fav....think it means more to him than the others....gonna be tight tonight


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## Nine Bob Note (Feb 26, 2009)

Marius said:


> Last year, if I remember correctly, they had a star chef watching over them insisting they get his signature dishes just right. Acting almost as if he and his dishes were being judged not the skill of the contestants who were executing the dishes.



No, that was the superior _the Professionals_ series.


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## la ressistance (Feb 26, 2009)

Nine Bob Note said:


> No, that was the superior _the Professionals_ series.



i think marcus wareing was overseeing some.the celebrities maybe.

anyway,matt has most definately one.its a fact.


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## softybabe (Feb 26, 2009)

le finalle!


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## N_igma (Feb 26, 2009)

Pfft that's nothing I have 14 Michellin stars and I don't even cook that often.


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## Gromit (Feb 26, 2009)

Matt had to win based on those final plates of food. It all looked Michelin star to me. Where the hell did he pull that from? He always looked good but not that good.


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## Orangesanlemons (Feb 26, 2009)

For me, the highlight of the show was seeing the HEAD CHEF at Buckingham Palace, worried that the final three weren't going to get the food out in time, getting filmed in an ajoining kitchen ripping open countless boxes of 3663 own-brand frozen battered haddock (rrp £1.12 each or thereabouts I believe) "just in case".

LOL. Call yourself a chef? You fucking cowboy.


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## Gromit (Feb 26, 2009)

Orangesanlemons said:


> ripping open countless boxes of 3663 own-brand frozen battered haddock (rrp £1.12 each or thereabouts I believe) "just in case".
> 
> LOL. Call yourself a chef? You fucking cowboy.



Well it was only for the staff, not a state banquet. I got the impression that the staff don't usually eat as well / expensive as they did that day. Don't waste good grub on the lackeys come on.


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## Orangesanlemons (Feb 26, 2009)

Marius said:


> Well it was only for the staff, not a state banquet. I got the impression that the staff don't usually eat as well / expensive as they did that day. Don't waste good grub on the lackeys come on.



Sure, for staff you get what's cheap or needs using up, but at somewhere like Buckingham Palace you'd expect certain standards and to get caught on Masterchef ripping into boxes of frozen crap from possibly the cheapest and nastiest supplier in the country (bar Brakes maybe) is fucking amusing, particularly after the build-up from Greg and John. 

Well, to me anyway...


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## N_igma (Feb 26, 2009)

Well it was a back up meal. They probably do get a half decent meal most of the time.


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## Bomber (Feb 26, 2009)

Thank God those two irrtating bastards are off the TV for a while at least !!!


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## Badger Kitten (Feb 26, 2009)

has it finished? who won then?


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## trashpony (Feb 26, 2009)

Badger Kitten said:


> has it finished? who won then?



Mat! He of the eyebrows and pointy beard 

(sorry I started another thread with guesses which spoiled the end of this one )


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## Gromit (Feb 26, 2009)

He never looked so much like Ming the Merciless as he did tonight.


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## keithy (Feb 26, 2009)

he's hot, I would like him to cook me dinner


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## Onket (Feb 26, 2009)

The New Zealand fella?


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## Orang Utan (Feb 26, 2009)

Torode's from Oz


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## Onket (Feb 26, 2009)

I'm asking if the winner was the one from In Zid.


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## Orang Utan (Feb 26, 2009)

I didn't think any of them were from there!


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## Onket (Feb 26, 2009)

Ah.


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## Santino (Feb 27, 2009)

Mat was born in Engerland and raised in Nuh Zuhlund.


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## FabricLiveBaby! (Feb 27, 2009)

I think that right man won on the night.


.... not so smug now?  are you andy?


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## tarannau (Feb 27, 2009)

Happy that Matt won. His food definitely looked the most refined and tempting.

And, of course, it allowed us to see smug old Andy looking absolutely gutted, which was nice. He's probably still tearing up pictures of Torode and ripping up his Masterchef shrine right about now, cursing the year he's clearly spent cooking in darkened rooms in preparation.


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## g force (Feb 27, 2009)

Right man definitely won...he showed he'd learned his trade and those dishes looked amazing.


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## Biddlybee (Feb 27, 2009)

I agree ^ 

His food was the best and he'd improved the most


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## tarannau (Feb 27, 2009)

Right, let's get my prediction in for next series: for the purposes of plot rotation, the youngest one in the group of 3 finalists will win the title next year. Mark my words.


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## DRINK? (Feb 27, 2009)

glad he won though again one of my biggest gripes on telly - "it's always been my dream to cook for a living" well then get a job as a commis and work your way up you bunch of freeloading want everything on a plate (sic) c*nts


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## tarannau (Feb 27, 2009)

Not everybody's a public schoolboy and can afford to sub a career from the bottom up are they though DRINK?

Bear in mind that a lot of basic kitchen jobs pay below what many would consider living wages. It's a fucking tough path, one often aided by parental handouts and the wonderful power of nepotism and existing culinary connections. Taking a massive financial hit to change career, if you're a family man in particular, may not be that plausible

If this helps some people negotiate a better loan and some funding to start a restaurant with their title then I'm not holding grudges. It's a fucking tough career for the vast majority in the field.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 27, 2009)

yep, i reckon the best man won, some of greg's faces last night were hysterical


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## Onket (Feb 27, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Mat was born in Engerland and raised in Nuh Zuhlund.



Glad he won.


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## PacificOcean (Feb 27, 2009)

Cooking in a professional kitchen looks mental.

Does it pay well?  What about the head chefs?  Is it a good wage?


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## ringo (Feb 27, 2009)

Good result - his food looked interesting, tasty and was visually great and he was nice to boot.


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## sheothebudworths (Feb 27, 2009)

i KNEW Mat was going to win aaaaaaaages ago! Definitely the right decision, but I'm quite relieved I don't have to watch him welling up any more. Jesus Christ, get a fucking grip! 

I bet he cries every time he lands a fish too, or pulls up a nettle to pop into his wicker basket.


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## sheothebudworths (Feb 27, 2009)

Actually the reason his frequent emotional outbursts irritated me, was not because they were emotional outbursts, but because I remember him saying in the first programme he was in (as he started booing  )...'I'm a very practical person and I'm not normally an emotonal man....'...

Yeah, _right!_ 

Pull the other one ya big, fat liar! 








<cries>


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## Onket (Feb 27, 2009)

No need to bring his weight issues into it.   etc

<blubs>


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## mrsfran (Feb 27, 2009)

PacificOcean said:


> Cooking in a professional kitchen looks mental.
> 
> Does it pay well? What about the head chefs? Is it a good wage?


 
Incredibly long unsociable hours, hot uncomfortable conditions, frequently getting treated like shit and shouted at, pay starts off shit and only gets marginally better. Fuck knows why anyone would want to be a professional chef.


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## Orang Utan (Feb 27, 2009)

Money ain't great but you don't get any time to spend it


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## sheothebudworths (Feb 27, 2009)

And it's exciting and creative and fulfilling.


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## tarannau (Feb 27, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> Money ain't great but you don't get any time to spend it



Course you do. Never seen a bunch of chefs on a cocaine induced frenzy in the early hours? Stay awake all night and you might as well make the bread in the morning, bleary eyed.

It's a hugely tough life. I'd guess that most head chefs still struggle to clear 30k, which for the long hours, responsibility and horrible working conditions ain't much at all. And there'll be a host of highly skilled staff on 15k or thereabouts, even in 5 star hotels and prestige establishments. There are some lucky exceptions, but unless you're a brand name or own one of those rare highly successful restaurants it's definitely not a way to earn quick bucks.


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## Gromit (Feb 27, 2009)

The way to earn the bucks is to own the resturant/s that you are head chef of.

Or become famous and endorse stuff sold in supermarkets. I'm still waiting for John and Greg salad cream or pasta sauce or something to appear in the shops.


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## vauxhallmum (Feb 27, 2009)

Marius said:


> I'm still waiting for John and Greg salad cream or pasta sauce or something to appear in the shops.




God yes, I hadn't thought of that. Hope the jars doesn't have pictures of that one's weird toady face or the others pervy grin on them though. Yeucch.


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## mrsfran (Feb 27, 2009)

John cannot ever do a pasta-related product. He pronounces it "par-sta". The dick.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Feb 27, 2009)

missfran said:


> John cannot ever do a pasta-related product. He pronounces it "par-sta". The dick.



Arrrrgh that is sooo annoying.


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## tarannau (Feb 27, 2009)

vauxhallmum said:


> God yes, I hadn't thought of that. Hope the jars doesn't have pictures of that one's weird toady face or the others pervy grin on them though. Yeucch.



An acquaintance has apparently tagged Masterchef as 'Garfield' in their household. Apparently Greg resembles the fat gurning cat, John the heavy-lidded owner. I can almost see it myself.


----------



## DRINK? (Feb 27, 2009)

I am glad that watery eyed beardy wizard f*cker won....though there is something strange about him...Just watched the old crybaby sausage fingers on iplayer and he has got something of the night about him plus he is just the sort to have a big bolt through his todge - just to shock people..... i think it's the cold dead eyed stare of his that creeps me out..

"I just hope my family are proud of me. I love my family. Did I mention my family?" - Your family are locked in a beachhut whilst you are out more like you ...a proper Dungeon Master Wizardy f*ck. May he be eaten by the Warlock of Firetop Mountain, and miss a throw....


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## Orang Utan (Feb 27, 2009)

vauxhallmum said:


> God yes, I hadn't thought of that. Hope the jars doesn't have pictures of that one's weird toady face or the others pervy grin on them though. Yeucch.



they have names you know


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## Onket (Feb 28, 2009)

Have they? 

I like the bald one, but I don't much like the other one.


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## Spark (Mar 10, 2009)

I've just watched the final week.  I was really glad Mat one.  His food looked really good and I thought it was more inventive than Andy's, eg those cockles on the canape round.  Andy was technically good but I didn't get the feeling he had a personal syle like Mat did.  I did warm to Andy a bit more in the last week - I thought he started to look less smug and in particular looked really goofy when he smiled.


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## Spark (Oct 15, 2009)

bit of a bump - but he's opened a restaurant http://www.thewildgarlic.co.uk/

i want to eat there


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## TrippyLondoner (Oct 15, 2009)

There's a masterchef thread a few threads below this atm.


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## Spark (Oct 15, 2009)

that's professional masterchef - my post is updating on amateur masterchef


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## TrippyLondoner (Oct 15, 2009)

Ah i see.


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