# Noel Edmunds gets a bit arsey



## King Biscuit Time (Feb 9, 2009)

Thanks to Anton Vowel's blog for pointing this out.

I knew that Noel's HQ was a sub 'That's Life' pile of toss with an added nasty little whiff of the Littlejohns about it, mainly from watching Charlie Brooker rip it apart in Screenwipe a few weeks ago.

It seems to have taken a turn for the worse, if this clip from today's show is anything to go by - He looks like he's going to properly lose it about half way through.


----------



## Dan U (Feb 9, 2009)

fucking nutter!


----------



## killer b (Feb 9, 2009)

what a cunt.


----------



## Augie March (Feb 9, 2009)

I'm gonna get planning permission to build a bungalow right on top of Noel Edmonds head. I'm sure that I'LL get the backing of millions of people across the country for that too.


----------



## DJ Squelch (Feb 9, 2009)




----------



## _pH_ (Feb 9, 2009)

fuck me, what a sanctimonious idiot 

'i don't get paid a penny for doing this show'

*pukes*


----------



## ivebeenhigh (Feb 9, 2009)

why is he having a go at a press officer?


----------



## _pH_ (Feb 9, 2009)

I wonder if he'd be so keen if it is was a bungalow in his back yard?



> He has opposed wind farm developments close to his Devon home and says onshore schemes are “damaging to rural areas and vulnerable rural populations”



from this

Is an onshore wind farm as damaging to a rural community as rich TV 'celebrities' buying up properties in Devon villages, Noel?


----------



## Stigmata (Feb 9, 2009)

Anyone remember when he killed that man?


----------



## _pH_ (Feb 9, 2009)

Stigmata said:


> Anyone remember when he killed that man?



Who, Mr Blobby? 

He had to kill off Mr Blobby, the stupid pink spotty blob was becoming more popular than him!


----------



## Aphex (Feb 9, 2009)

Stigmata said:


> Anyone remember when he killed that man?



Ouchy.


----------



## Stigmata (Feb 9, 2009)

> Its also quite a personal attack and the person working for the council was not given a right to reply (although the council itself was in the form of the statement read by Keith Chegwin).



PMSL


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Feb 9, 2009)

Stigmata said:


> PMSL



He also seems to be labouring under the misapprehension that people directly elect Press Officers.


----------



## UnderAnOpenSky (Feb 9, 2009)

Stigmata said:


> Anyone remember when he killed that man?



Bit harsh, but a lesson to remember to use screwgates.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 9, 2009)

what's the story behind this ooutburst?


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Feb 9, 2009)

Blimey


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Feb 9, 2009)

While we're on the subject of tidybeard - here's one of the fastest and most insincere gear changes ever attempted on telly.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 9, 2009)

So Noel Edmonds is hosting a show with Keith Cheggers (is Maggie Philbin inolved?) where they latch onto probably spurious stories and create some drama in a superficial easy way by ranting at council staff for not appearing at Edmonds' beck and call to answer his highly subjective moral witch hunt. He then produces some statements from clearly not opportunistic politicians to back his chosen campaign.

And then hires Carole fucking Malone to rant about hoodies because she seems mentally incapable of understanding the fact that all sorts of people wear hooded tops, not just chavvy stabmaster MC's.


----------



## ricbake (Feb 9, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> what's the story behind this ooutburst?



http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/su...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/su...

Links attached to the you tube video info


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 9, 2009)

Noel on immigration:



> "I’m very straightforward on immigration. The bus is full," he told The News Of The World.
> 
> The Deal Or No Deal host explained: "We haven’t got enough energy, we haven't got enough electricity, we haven’t got enough of a health service."
> 
> ...


----------



## LindaR (Feb 9, 2009)

'gets' 'a bit'???
Noel Edmonds was _born _arsey. His debut on radio coincided with the moon landing, and to this day he reckons they nicked his publicity...


----------



## Voley (Feb 9, 2009)

I've always thought he was a bit megalomaniacal.

Watching Keith Chegwin clap like a trained seal was good, though.


----------



## Santino (Feb 9, 2009)

I hope to see a version of this on the next Alan Partridge vehicle.


----------



## LeisureSuitLawl (Feb 9, 2009)

fuckin' ell... its like Partridge fo' real y'all!


----------



## LeisureSuitLawl (Feb 9, 2009)

Alex B said:


> I hope to see a version of this on the next Alan Partridge vehicle.



ah, as you said


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Feb 10, 2009)

They are advertising in that free newspaper Metro for people to come and see this show - it never fails to give me a good chuckle in the morning when I see the advert on my way to work


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 10, 2009)

I wonder how many non-white faces you see in the audience.


----------



## DotCommunist (Feb 10, 2009)

Noel Edmonds is a sinister cunt


----------



## Pie 1 (Feb 10, 2009)

That was Cheggers??


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 10, 2009)

It's like Swap Shop got happy slapped and this is their revenge on facebook.


----------



## Idaho (Feb 10, 2009)

We really need to find a way of suckering this programme. Getting them off on a storm of outrage against something that doesn't really exist a la Brass Eye.


----------



## rekil (Feb 10, 2009)

Stigmata said:


> Anyone remember when he killed that man?


Clive Anderson? Or has he added to his tally since then.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Feb 10, 2009)

You're all too young.

Noel had a saturday night show in the 80's and there was some stunt that went wrong (a lift/box on a bungy rope?) and some bloke died.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Feb 10, 2009)

5t3IIa said:


> Noel had a saturday night show in the 80's and there was some stunt that went wrong (a lift/box on a bungy rope?) and some bloke died.



I remember that....

I know someone who works for Sky and a lot of people are proper embarrassed about this show....I doubt he'll be getting a new commission.

I will check on the "I don't get paid a penny" thing and report back!


----------



## pk (Feb 10, 2009)

He's a cunt - but he is right.


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 10, 2009)

Jesus.  I couldn't finish watching that, it was so cringe-making.

"_I_ created this show".

Twat.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Feb 10, 2009)

...apparently his fee goes to charity...


----------



## Flashman (Feb 10, 2009)

Once a cunt always a cunt.

He made my dad cry once.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Feb 10, 2009)

I wonder if Posh Paws supports this nonsense? I used to sort of fancy Posh Paws when I was wee


----------



## _pH_ (Feb 10, 2009)

5t3IIa said:


> I used to sort of fancy Posh Paws when I was wee



that's just weird


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Feb 10, 2009)

Flashman said:


> He made my dad cry once.



He makes me cry (with despair) too.


----------



## The Octagon (Feb 10, 2009)

King Biscuit Time said:


> Thanks to Anton Vowel's blog for pointing this out.
> 
> I knew that Noel's HQ was a sub 'That's Life' pile of toss with an added nasty little whiff of the Littlejohns about it, mainly from watching Charlie Brooker rip it apart in Screenwipe a few weeks ago.



Has anyone got the link to this Screenwipe episode? I can't find it on Youtube.


----------



## sam/phallocrat (Feb 10, 2009)

I think they're referring to his column in the grauniad


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 10, 2009)

Flashman said:


> He made my dad cry once.


Blobby?


----------



## ebay sex moomin (Feb 10, 2009)

sam/phallocrat said:


> I think they're referring to his column in the grauniad


you are correct

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2006/jan/28/tvandradio.theguide


----------



## jannerboyuk (Feb 10, 2009)

pk said:


> He's a cunt - but he is right.



your a cunt - and you are wrong


----------



## Melinda (Feb 10, 2009)

The distance between how influential Noel thinks he is, and actual reality is of Killroy magnitude. 

I heartily approve! More of this kind of thing!


----------



## Melinda (Feb 10, 2009)

What channel did that go out on?


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Feb 10, 2009)

5t3IIa said:


> You're all too young.
> 
> Noel had a saturday night show in the 80's and there was some stunt that went wrong (a lift/box on a bungy rope?) and some bloke died.



Not me. The late late breakfast show. 
Bunjgie jump bloke. Some people said he wasn't strapped in some said he fixed it so that he would die (suicide). Hummmm.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Feb 10, 2009)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Not me. The late late breakfast show.
> Bunjgie jump bloke. Some people said he wasn't strapped in some said he fixed it so that he would die (suicide). Hummmm.




A quick wiki


> Death of Michael Lush
> On 13 November 1986, self-employed hod carrier Michael Lush was killed during his first rehearsal for another live stunt. The stunt, called "Hang 'em High", involved bungee jumping from an exploding box suspended from a 120ft-high crane. The carabiner clip attaching his bungee rope to the crane sprang loose from its eyebolt during the jump. He died instantly of multiple injuries, and the Breakfast Show was scrapped on 15 November after Edmonds resigned.
> Although the inquest recorded a verdict of misadventure, the jury were informed of several failures on the part of the BBC. Graham Games of the Health and Safety Executive stated that the clip could have been opened by the weight of a bag of sugar, and demonstrated that the clip sprang loose 14 times in 20. David Kirke, a bungee specialist from the Dangerous Sports Club, stated that a similar stunt he had been involved with used three ropes, as opposed to the one rope used by the BBC, and shackles in the place of carabiner clips.[7] There was no safety officer on hand, and no supervision or demonstration from a trained stuntman. There was also no way for Lush to contact the ground once he was in the air, and nobody in the air with him in case he changed his mind; the jury heard that he delayed for almost two minutes before finally being instructed to make the jump. Furthermore, despite advice against it, the BBC production team had insisted on the use of an elasticated bungee rope.
> The BBC made an ex gratia payment of approximately £120,000 to Lush's family. While the coroner recommended that safety officers be available during any such future stunts, BBC managing director Bill Cotton stated that there would be no future programmes that exposed members of the public to risk.[8] After the inquest, Noel Edmonds was quoted as saying "If I was to continue my career at the BBC I would want to be fully confident about any production team I was provided with."[9] He returned to the BBC's Saturday night lineup two years later, presenting Noel's Saturday Roadshow.


Holy fuck.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 10, 2009)

This program really is guff. If he wants to fix Britain then just do a bit of cosmic ordering.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 10, 2009)

5t3IIa said:


> I wonder if Posh Paws supports this nonsense? I used to sort of fancy Posh Paws when I was wee


I have never forgotten that phone number.

True story.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Feb 10, 2009)

Melinda said:


> The distance between how influential Noel thinks he is, and actual reality is of Killroy magnitude.
> 
> I heartily approve! More of this kind of thing!


don't you care about broken britain? think of all the middle class stab victims you heartless person! think of carole malone's career? think of all the heterosexual foster couples in Surrey? think of the people who go on deal or no deal to pay off their mortgage or take their husband ont he honeymoon they never had?


----------



## Gingerman (Feb 10, 2009)

He'd instantly improve this country for me if he'd fuckin emigrate 'the only thing you need to know about him is that he was,is and will always be a cunt.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Feb 10, 2009)

Aphex said:


> Ouchy.



 suspect it was, hope he didnt feel anything


----------



## Citizen66 (Feb 10, 2009)

Stigmata said:


> Anyone remember when he killed that man?



And a charity event of his didn't fare much better.



> The cause of a helicopter crash that killed a nine-year-old boy at a Noel Edmonds charity event was a matter of inches, according to the pilot.
> 
> Robert Hobson has told a fatal accident inquiry that if he had been flying just two inches higher the tragedy would never have happened.
> 
> ...



http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/166159.stm


----------



## Gingerman (Feb 11, 2009)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...bs-New-Age-Noel-Edmonds-bizarre-air-rant.html
Yes Noel,the men in the white coats will be here soon


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Mar 27, 2009)

Now he's taken his ball home and won't come out to play:

http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/27032009/19/noel-edmonds-moves-hq-sky.html



> Noel Edmonds has reportedly pulled his Noel's HQ show from Sky TV over a disagreement about presenting the show live.
> 
> Sky bosses wanted Noel to start pre-recording the series following a live rant the 60-year-old presenter made on air last month, according to The Scum.


----------



## danny la rouge (Mar 27, 2009)

Good.


----------



## g force (Mar 27, 2009)

Yeah I bet he "pulled it" to "take it to another channel"....not that Sky couldn't be arsed with his self-inflated ego. Living TV it is then Noel..


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Mar 27, 2009)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


That is the funniest thing I have seen in ages!


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 27, 2009)

Maybe the People's Maverick will follow the lead of his fellow permatanned egoists Kilroy/Sheridan/Galloway and form his own TV network. He could call it "DealOrNoDealitas Renewal (Britain's Populist Demagogue Channel)".


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 27, 2009)

Speaking of twats, I see that this shockingly misnamed Michael Winner was on Question Time (SpEek YoU're bRanes BBC1) yesterday. Did anybody see it? Please don't tell me he said "calm down dear" to a round of applause or I may consider killing myself.


----------



## Dirty Martini (Mar 27, 2009)

Idaho said:


> We really need to find a way of suckering this programme. Getting them off on a storm of outrage against something that doesn't really exist a la Brass Eye.



He's been done by Brass Eye already, but yes: a very public humiliation that brings this mother DOWN.



Jeff Robinson said:


> shockingly misnamed Michael Winner


----------



## Jon-of-arc (Mar 27, 2009)

Dirty Martini said:


> He's been done by Brass Eye already, but yes: a very public humiliation that brings t*his mother DOWN.*



can we bring his mother down? Please.  PLLLEEEAAASSSSEEEEE!


----------



## goldenecitrone (Mar 27, 2009)

Swap Shop vs Wheeldon District Council. With a whiff of fascism.


----------



## Apathy (Mar 27, 2009)

one comment on that youtube link......



> I was sexual assualted by Noel several years ago, was the best time of my life.


----------



## Gingerman (Mar 27, 2009)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/feb/14/noels-hq-television-charlie-brooker


----------



## Lakina (Mar 28, 2009)

I like him when he's angry!


----------



## Bob_the_lost (Mar 28, 2009)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Speaking of twats, I see that this shockingly misnamed Michael Winner was on Question Time (SpEek YoU're bRanes BBC1) yesterday. Did anybody see it? Please don't tell me he said "calm down dear" to a round of applause or I may consider killing myself.


He didn't, he was wonderfully scathing although the humorous tendencies did lessen some of the points.


----------

