# Who is the most irritating Coast Presenter?



## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

The tall one with a stick that used to be the boss but isn't anymore one?





The long haired Scottish one who must have killed the one above or something as he's now the boss one? 





The ridiculously comedy posh one who likes castles and that one?





The Dr Alice Roberts one? 





The one who isn't Alice Roberts and has an Eastern European name one? 

another one I have forgotten about?


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## marty21 (Aug 5, 2010)

comedy posh one


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

marty21 said:


> comedy posh one


 
But at least he has comic value.


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## Geri (Aug 5, 2010)

I don't find any of them annoying.

I think the other woman is Miranda Kalashnikov.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

Geri said:


> I don't find any of them annoying.
> 
> I think the other woman is Miranda Kalashnikov.


 
That's her. 

She's the only one who doesn't annoy me!


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## Geri (Aug 5, 2010)

I got my first edition of my free subscription to Coast magazine today.


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## QueenOfGoths (Aug 5, 2010)

marty21 said:


> comedy posh one


 
Same here. Did anyone see the one at the Minack Theatre the other day? Scottish bloke was alright but that women who played Ariel put the cause of amateur theatre back by about 40 years


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

I once saw the posh one at Wells cathedral.


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## Melinda (Aug 5, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> The ridiculously comedy posh one who likes castles and that one?


The round one. Nothing about him can be tolerated.  
His voice, his hair, his mannerisms and his disappearing eyes are all a proper disgrace.


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

He looks like he's reached a crucial juncture watching 'Wild Swimming with Alice Roberts'.


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## Hocus Eye. (Aug 5, 2010)

I liked 'the tall one with the stick' or to give him his proper name Nicholas Crane, and to give 'the stick' its proper name, the umbrella attached to the outside of his rucksack. A man carefully crafts his image as an outdoor walker and all he get is to be called the 'tall man with a stick'. I think he wrote and presented the first shows and perhaps the Beeb wanted to continue the series but couldn't get him to write any more. The emphasis was on geography in the early days but has branched out to other specialisms requiring different presentors.

I like 'The Highlander' who is a fairly dour presenter of Scottish history, not afraid to criticise the English.

As for Miranda 'Klashnikof' that is quite funny, but I can't find her real name.

The 'posh comedy one' is Mark Horton a well known archaeologist who has written lots of books. He can afford to laugh at himself.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> He looks like he's reached a crucial juncture watching 'Wild Swimming with Alice Roberts'.


 
What's in the glass?


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

Hocus Eye. said:


> I liked 'the tall one with the stick' or to give him his proper name Nicholas Crane, and to give 'the stick' its proper name, the umbrella attached to the outside of his rucksack. A man carefully crafts his image as an outdoor walker and all he get is to be called the 'tall man with a stick'. I think he wrote and presented the first shows and perhaps the Beeb wanted to continue the series but couldn't get him to write any more. The emphasis was on geography in the early days but has branched out to other specialisms requiring different presentors.
> 
> I like 'The Highlander' who is a fairly dour presenter of Scottish history, not afraid to criticise the English.
> 
> ...



You think Roberts has a 'soft bristol accent' - not sure i'll be trusting you.


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> What's in the glass?


 Dunno, that's butchers department.


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## Hocus Eye. (Aug 5, 2010)

butchersapron said:


> You think Roberts has a 'soft bristol accent' - not sure i'll be trusting you.



What would you say her accent is? You live in Bristol so should know all the variations.


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

I suspect it's your own piss then L_c.


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## Melinda (Aug 5, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> He looks like he's reached a crucial juncture watching 'Wild Swimming with Alice Roberts'.


That's really horrid! 

He seems rather the celibate type. Or the sort to have furtive couplings in shop doorways.


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

Hocus Eye. said:


> What would you say her accent is? You live in Bristol so should know all the variations.


 
It's mix of all sorts - it's obv her posh parents, her posh teachers her mates at uni, her doctarge etc all mixed up. I've never heard anything like her's in bristol or somerset - ever. It's bizarre. It sounds like Keith Joseph trying to talk west country if he thought norfolk was what west country was.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

I had no idea she was from the West Country till someone told me, and I've spent a reasonable amount of time there and heard people speak and stuff.


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

Melinda said:


> He seems rather the celibate type. Or the sort to have furtive couplings in shop doorways.


 Peter Jones, possibly. The doorway not the other party to the coupling . .

though, tbh, most come faces are a bit iffy.


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> I had no idea she was from the West Country till someone told me, and I've spent a reasonable amount of time there and heard people speak and stuff.


 
She's from the west country in the way that Boris Johnson is from London.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

butchersapron said:


> She's from the west country in the way that Boris Johnson is from London.


 
I only found out otherwise when I said 'her home counties accent' and someone said 'she's from the west country.'


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

I wouldn't know the difference between a cornwall, bristol nor a norwich accent, but I can pinpoint Lancs, Yorks and Cheshire ones down to the specific towns.

The fat one annoys me with his accent and that.


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## Lakina (Aug 6, 2010)

Neil Oliver - 6.3m google hits
Mark Horton - 0.9m google hits
Alice Roberts - 1.6m google hits
Nicholas Crane - 0.2m google hits
Miranda krestovnikoff - 0.1m google hits

But Hermione Cockburn has only 8,800 google hits.  Poor thing.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

Lakina said:


> Neil Oliver - 6.3m google hits
> Mark Horton - 0.9m google hits
> Alice Roberts - 1.6m google hits
> Nicholas Crane - 0.2m google hits
> ...


 
Who?


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

> Hermione Cockburn



I've had that. Don't need to visit the doc just take a few days off.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 6, 2010)

I'd do Alice Roberts either in or out of her swimming cossie. I wouldn't enjoy doing the tall man with stick, the scotch fella or the posh bloke much though.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I'd do Alice Roberts either in or out of her swimming cossie. I wouldn't enjoy doing the tall man with stick, the scotch fella or the posh bloke much though.


 
But who is the most irritating. Focus ffs!


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> But who is the most irritating. Focus ffs!


 
Ah, I see you have voted. Apologies.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> Ah, I see you have voted. Apologies.


 
Yeah, sorry, the posh castle bumming fella.


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## pogofish (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> The long haired Scottish one who must have killed the one above or something as he's now the boss one?



I have a mate who is the spitting image of this guy and yes, we are Scots - can you imagine how sick we are of folk butting-in with "Hey, you are that guy off Coast aren't you"


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## Spion (Aug 6, 2010)

Horton's the most annoying, but the others (except for Chestikov) are all vying for irrito-supremacy. Crane is a twat with that bloody umbrella. He made it his trademark in books he wrote long before Coast existed


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

I haven't seen much of Coast but I was struck by the twin themes of ecology and gratuitous helicopter shots panning near and far. It's very BBC -  air space above the south American jungle must be swarming with them.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> I haven't seen much of Coast but I was struck by the twin themes of ecology and gratuitous helicopter shots panning near and far. It's very BBC -  air space above the south American jungle must be swarming with them.


 
Don't forget the slightly jingoistic summing up at the end of every episode about how great, Great Britain is... I'll write one now...

"What the east coast has shown me, on this leg of our journey, is the amazing power of people, british people, great British people, to overcome adversity and bounce back from disaster, time after time. Whether battling terrible poverty or natural disaster, the East coast is full of fighting spirits, amazing sights and though the next few years are sure to bring changes to this most special part of the world, the people will be ready, as they've always been" *music swells*


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

Good call. I felt the rising strings. At least I think that's what it was.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 6, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> Good call. I felt the rising strings. At least I think that's what it was.


 
Have you just watched the last 5 minutes of wild swimming again by any chance?


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## ViolentPanda (Aug 6, 2010)

pogofish said:


> I have a mate who is the spitting image of this guy and yes, we are Scots - can you imagine how sick we are of folk butting-in with "Hey, you are that guy off Coast aren't you"



One of the hazards of coming from a small gene pool, I expect.


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

ViolentPanda said:


> One of the hazards of coming from a small gene pool, I expect.


 
Says the Red Sea Pedestrian!


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

.


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## Lakina (Aug 6, 2010)

I don't find any of them irritating.

They are all lovely.


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> .


 
..


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## redcogs (Jul 15, 2018)

Apologies for ressurecting this ancient thread, but i just watched an episode of Coast, being a complete day time tv slob about in jammies..

Nile Loviver wins hands down with that HAIR dangling around his soldiers constantly having to be brushed back off face!  If he got a proper short back and sides his irritant quotia would be significantly reduced.

Nicholas Crane is a gentle saint.


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## maomao (Jul 15, 2018)

I have it on very good authority from someone who books well known historians to appear at public events that Neil Oliver is a complete fucking arsehole both in his demands and in the delivery. 

Apparently I voted for the tall bloke with the stick and I now can't even remember who that is. Can't be that fucking annoying then.


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## kebabking (Jul 15, 2018)

Miranda K lives near Portishead, we see her and her family quite a bit. She's nice.

Mark Horton gets on my tits, i like Neil Oliver - in fact I have a bit of a man-crush on his hair - Nicholas Crane is good but can be a bit earnest, and Alice Roberts is, well, Alice Roberts, and in truth, if she played her cards right, she could have me...


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## nuffsaid (Jul 17, 2018)

Great thread - As one of these has been incredibly annoying and I can now vent my spleen.

The way the bloke with the stick narrates is absolutely infuriating. He raises the intonation in his voice at the end of each sentence as if he's asking a question, or in the way that teenagers suddenly started talking, or in the way Aussies speak - Stop it you twat! You're not asking a question, you're describing something, you should _lower_ your intonation at the end of each sentence like a normal person.

So annoying.


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## danny la rouge (Jul 17, 2018)

I voted Handel because he shared a flat with Jimi Hendrix.


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## danny la rouge (Jul 17, 2018)

maomao said:


> I have it on very good authority from someone who books well known historians to appear at public events that Neil Oliver is a complete fucking arsehole both in his demands and in the delivery.


I can well believe that. 

He lives near me. Not sure exactly where, but I always see him walking about, or browsing in Stormfront. Sometimes he goes in one of my favourite coffee shops. In which case I'll go to my second favourite.


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## butchersapron (Jul 17, 2018)

libcom?


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## cheesethief (Jul 17, 2018)

Neil Oliver, he gives me the creeps. And he was on Brookside...


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## maomao (Jul 17, 2018)

danny la rouge said:


> I can well believe that.
> 
> He lives near me. Not sure exactly where, but I always see him walking about, or browsing in Stormfront. Sometimes he goes in one of my favourite coffee shops. In which case I'll go to my second favourite.


He's basically my mental image of what you look like Danny.


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## redcogs (Jul 17, 2018)

i saw that Neil Oviler sat outside a Edinburgh cafe full on posing and soaking up sun.  Pushing his hair back oot of his face..
Its time he got a proper job, and a decent fucking aircut.


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## JimW (Jul 17, 2018)

maomao said:


> He's basically my mental image of what you look like Danny.


You're a cruel man, maomao


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## danny la rouge (Jul 17, 2018)

maomao said:


> He's basically my mental image of what you look like Danny.


Fuck off.


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## redcogs (Jul 17, 2018)

i mean to say why would any middle aged man go oot in public with hair down to waist when there are more barber shops per head of population than at any time in human history?? Eh??


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## danny la rouge (Jul 17, 2018)

redcogs said:


> i mean to say why would any middle aged man go oot in public with hair down to waist when there are more barber shops per head of population than at any time in human history?? Eh??


And he lives in Stirling, where there are more than most.


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## skyscraper101 (Jul 17, 2018)

cheesethief said:


> Neil Oliver, he gives me the creeps. And he was on Brookside...





I don't remember him on Brookside. Though having checked IMDB I can see he was in one episode, a fair while after I'd given up on it. Seems to be the extent of his acting career.


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## JimW (Jul 17, 2018)

redcogs said:


> i mean to say why would any middle aged man go oot in public with hair down to waist when there are more barber shops per head of population than at any time in human history?? Eh??


I resemble this remark.


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## redcogs (Jul 17, 2018)

i had hair to shoulders in the late 1960s when hair to shoulders was compulsory


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## blairsh (Jul 17, 2018)

I apparently resemble the most irritating one


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## SpookyFrank (Jul 17, 2018)

The Scottish one was on that show about neolithic stuff in the Orkneys. He kept coming up with stupid theories every time they found a pebble or whatever and Chris Packham had to keep pointing out to him that he was basically just talking bollocks.


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## redcogs (Jul 17, 2018)

blairsh said:


> I apparently resemble the most irritating one



Such an affliction might lead you might consider a number of options?

A hair cut.
A hair cut + plastic surgery.
Assassination of Oliver (to remove the blairsh imposter who stays in Stirling - there being no room in this world for more than one irritating presenter)
Ask (insist) that Neil has hair cut
Ask (insist) that the public profile of Oliver is reduced to vanishing point.
Etc etc etc.


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## blairsh (Jul 17, 2018)

redcogs said:


> Such an affliction might lead you might consider a number of options?
> 
> A hair cut.
> A hair cut + plastic surgery.
> ...


You're alright, fortunately  i don't give a fuck


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## redcogs (Jul 17, 2018)

what about the nuisance of all the autograph pests?


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## cheesethief (Jul 18, 2018)

skyscraper101 said:


> I don't remember him on Brookside. Though having checked IMDB I can see he was in one episode, a fair while after I'd given up on it. Seems to be the extent of his acting career.


The guy so obviously wants to be a luvvie, he plays up to the camera in nauseating fashion. I like my geeks & boffins to be suitably geeky & boffiney. I think Nicholas Crane is great, clearly a chap who loves his subject way more than himself, the sort of decent fella one would be quite happy to have a pint with. Alice Roberts is very comely, and clearly knows it, which often detracts from the subject matter. The other presenters are much of a muchness, but Oliver is a twat.


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## danny la rouge (Jul 18, 2018)

cheesethief said:


> Alice Roberts is very comely, and clearly knows it, which often detracts from the subject matter


I'm a bit of a fan of Prof Alice, I have to admit. But when she did the recent series about historic towns I found it very hard not to hear Philomena Cunk:  "I'm going to be starting a sentence in one location. And finishing it in another". Etc.


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## redcogs (Jul 18, 2018)

She a bonny quine


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## gentlegreen (Jul 18, 2018)

As a Bristolian, I can't listen to Alice Roberts' weird accent.


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