# The Apprentice 2009



## Miss Potter (Mar 12, 2009)

Finally! The first episode of the new series starts on March 25th, they announced it after the Comic Relief one tonight.

Who's going to join me?


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## Badgers (Mar 12, 2009)

someone


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## T & P (Mar 12, 2009)

Excellent 

 Do we know anything yet about the twats to take part this year?


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## vogonity (Mar 12, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> Who's going to join me?



I'm in!


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## beeboo (Mar 12, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> Who's going to join me?



mememememe!


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

I am so in. I love the Apprentice. Purely for the comedy aspect normally.


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## miss direct (Mar 12, 2009)

ooh I love the Apprentice. Do you think it will be available to watch online anywhere?


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 12, 2009)

I am in. 

I am always in.


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

I'm still annoyed that Raef went last year. I loved him and his dapper suaveness, and the sense that he came from another time.


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## Melinda (Mar 12, 2009)

Its going to be a proper jokes watching the usual eejits with bags of unearned confidence bigging up their skillz in this post-apocalyptic climate.


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## madamv (Mar 12, 2009)

Oooh me too....   I never guess the winner from the first ep....

Terrible judge of character me.


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

That first one who went out last series, omg he was fucking brilliant! He had some kind of amazing name like Greville Percy-Smythe.

Me and my boyfriend at the time found his website and just signed off our emails with quotes from his biography all week.


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## Melinda (Mar 12, 2009)

The one missing a chin!


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## Gromit (Mar 12, 2009)

I was gutted when I realized the one tonight was comic relief. I wanted the proper one now now now. 

I need it. It makes me happy.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 12, 2009)

o m g! 

I remember him. 

He was fucking shit.


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

NICHOLAS DE LACEY BROWN!

that was it.

he was the biggest berk I had ever seen.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 12, 2009)

I have just googled him.

He is an artist now, apparently.


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## Melinda (Mar 12, 2009)

He was also an artist at the time too. He claimed his task went down the crapper because the rough low-caste boys ganged up on him. 
Impressive interpersonal skillz.


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

Yeah he was always an artist.







lols


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 12, 2009)

what a dick.


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## Melinda (Mar 12, 2009)

I just lolled!


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> what a dick.



wtf, it is MOVING i tell you.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 12, 2009)

The best one on the apprentice was Rory Lang.

He was actually wrong in the head.

"I _am_ your boss"


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## Melinda (Mar 12, 2009)

Rory...?


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

I went through brief moments of feeling lusty thoughts about Alex last year.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 12, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I went through brief moments of feeling lusty thoughts about Alex last year.



hahaha.


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## Melinda (Mar 12, 2009)

Alex, the knobber with the knobber hair?


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

Melinda said:


> Alex, the knobber with the knobber hair?



and the chewy mouth. yes.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 12, 2009)

hahaha.


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## electrogirl (Mar 12, 2009)

it was those cute superman pyjamas he had. aw.


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## weltweit (Mar 13, 2009)

I think I am going to give this year's apprentice a miss. 

I know I would be irritated the heck by the brash baseless overconfidence of the wannabies as they brag and swagger their way though the weekly trials. 

But I fear the irritation would be too much so I will give it a miss.


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## electrogirl (Mar 13, 2009)

I enjoy being irritated by them and laughing at them in equal measures.


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## weltweit (Mar 13, 2009)

I find them too smug to tolerate ..

Anyone would have thought that they were already self made multimillionaires rather than Alan Sugar apprentice wannabies.


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## Miss Potter (Mar 13, 2009)

but isn't that part of the fun, watching them fall off their high horses?


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## Santino (Mar 13, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> "I _am_ your boss"


"You're nothing to me."


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## liberty (Mar 13, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> Finally! The first episode of the new series starts on March 25th, they announced it after the Comic Relief one tonight.
> 
> Who's going to join me?


I love it


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 13, 2009)

Alex B said:


> "You're nothing to me."


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## Vintage Paw (Mar 13, 2009)

Mr Paw absolutely loves The Apprentice. I can take it or leave it, tbh.

Give me Jade's Wedding anyday.


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## Gromit (Mar 13, 2009)

Are you sure you are Jewish or do you need to drop your trousers and check?

I'm worried that they won't be able to top last years group for fuckwittedness. It was a gloriously bad bunch.


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## kabbes (Mar 13, 2009)

It has always been great telly, because of the fact that all of them -- including surallen -- are completely talentless idiots convinced that they are actually masters of the universe.  You are irritated by their uselessness but also amused by it.

My concern is that the forumula was starting to go a little flat last time round.  I've just seen the same thing too many times now.  It's too predictable each show how the story is going to pan out.  And it's the same arguments about the same tasks with the same reasons for the same failures.

I'll probably watch it this time too, but it's on a bit of a final warning for me.


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## Vintage Paw (Mar 13, 2009)

Let's face it, it's all about Margaret and Nick.


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## kabbes (Mar 13, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Let's face it, it's all about Margaret and Nick.


Another problem, though, I think.  When it wasn't about Margaret and Nick, they were endearing side-characters who you could empathise with and laugh along with.  Then in the last series they became ubercritics and stars of the show and suddenly their endearing habits became annoying.


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## T & P (Mar 17, 2009)

Some details of this year's contestants are surfacing:



> This year's remaining hopefuls include a city stockbroker, an award-winning restaurant owner, a qualified lawyer, an aristocrat, an ex-professional footballer and a chess champion.
> 
> There are also two international candidates - a New Yorker who has performed at Carnegie Hall and a Tanzanian beauty queen.



And one of them quit the day before the first task started apparently...

http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/blog/article/136073/


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## beeboo (Mar 17, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Another problem, though, I think.  When it wasn't about Margaret and Nick, they were endearing side-characters who you could empathise with and laugh along with.  Then in the last series they became ubercritics and stars of the show and suddenly their endearing habits became annoying.



Pah, there is never enough Margaret and Nick.  I could watch an entire show devoted to Nick looking archly quizzical and Mags pulling her 'sucking a lemon' face.


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## Stoat Boy (Mar 17, 2009)

I love this show. It must take real talent to get so many obnoxious, right-up themselves people in one place with the biggest joke being that Sugar is now just a commerical landlord, hardly running a conventional business empire anymore. 

What he wants is more a uber-caretaker.


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## beeboo (Mar 17, 2009)

OK, we've got the details of the candidates now.  I reckon we should have some early bets.

The boys:  http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/blog/article/136072/

The girls:  http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/blog/article/136071/

Name one person to be amongst the first three out, and one to be amongst the last three standing.

Here's mine:

Get the Boot:  *Ben*

Final three: *Rocky*


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## T & P (Mar 17, 2009)

> Belfast born and bred Ben is the rebellious stockbroker who considers himself to be ruthless and money-obsessed.
> 
> He is a young professional with what he describes as a raw hunger to make as much money as possible.


 Great. I've got a hate figure already 

They do out of the way to pick the biggest wankers possible don't they...


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## Stigmata (Mar 17, 2009)

The risk is that suralan will keep the really twattish ones in for as long as possible- like Syed Ahmed and Michael Sophocles of previous years.

That Majid guy sounds far too nice to last very long.


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## T & P (Mar 17, 2009)

Oh dear they're all as laughable as each other...


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## Epico (Mar 17, 2009)

I often see that Somerset-Matt-Lucas-alike wandering around Woking. I've never seen someone look so unduly pleased with themselves.

I love the Apprentice!


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## May Kasahara (Mar 17, 2009)

'rebellious stockbroker' lol


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## Epico (Mar 17, 2009)

No journalist from the Republic of Ireland though, this makes me =


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## Melinda (Mar 17, 2009)

Epico said:


> I often see that Somerset-Matt-Lucas-alike wandering around Woking. I've never seen someone look so unduly pleased with themselves.
> 
> I love the Apprentice!



Where in Woking are you seeing him?   Clearly your hang outs are classier than mine...


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## Epico (Mar 17, 2009)

We have classy hangouts in Woking? I usually see him around on Commercial Way.


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## T & P (Mar 17, 2009)

> Science teacher Noorul hopes to eventually become a property development millionaire. Fashion-obsessed, he believes that Argos should be banned from selling jewellery


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## Vintage Paw (Mar 17, 2009)

Ah, so, Mr Paw knows Paula. Hehe. Well, sort of. She did Industrial Relations at Keele. My mate knew her better though. Was in class with her apparently. Very interesting. Very interesting indeed.

Will try to get gossip.


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## Melinda (Mar 17, 2009)

Dont waste dirt on us VP. Beat the credit crunch and sell it to The Sun.

Drip feed it and you might be able to get a spring/ summer wardrobe/ new kitchen out of it.


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## Vintage Paw (Mar 17, 2009)

Melinda said:


> Dont waste dirt on us VP. Beat the credit crunch and sell it to The Sun.
> 
> Drip feed it and you might be able to get a spring/ summer wardrobe/ new kitchen out of it.



Good thinking Melinda.


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## Scrus (Mar 17, 2009)

this should be funny, because loads of it will just not make any sense at all, because of the economy, it's going to be like watching eighties movies like Wall Street again. They are all going to look like supertwats this time instead of just... twats.


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## dogmatique (Mar 17, 2009)

Annoyingly I already know who the final two are which kind of ruins the series for me, dammit.

Could put a bet each way on them though, eh? 

Makes you wonder though - these two have already been working for Alan Sugar for months.  There must be loads of people who know who they are for one reason or another, and this must be the case every series (friends, family etc) - and yet bookies still take bets.  Hmm.

And NO - I will *NOT* be letting on here!


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## Scrus (Mar 17, 2009)

hmmm, the odds are very good for this....

are you sure of that? That you won't tell? 

ok, I will trade you a ticket for Glastonbury for the names of the finalists.


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## dogmatique (Mar 17, 2009)

Thanks, but no thanks... to be honest I'd rather not know myself, as the Apprentice is one of my guilty pleasures and now it's spoilt.  I wouldn't want to do that to anyone else.  (Or be drummed out of Urban for good...)

Mind you, I haven't seen any bookies odds yet!


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## Scrus (Mar 17, 2009)

you could send me a pm 

and if there are no odds then the odds are good


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## dogmatique (Mar 17, 2009)

I could, but then you'd tell a couple of people, etc etc.

Anyhoos - I'll tell you what I know... My girlfriend's boss is best mates with one of them, who told them who the other one was.  So the boss knows both finalists (or one would assume they are the finalists as they are both working for Alan Sugar at the moment).  The boss has been very lax with this information and the whole office (of 50) now knows.

And now everyone who works there has most likely spread that information around.  Can't be long until the cat's properly out of the bag, surely?


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## madamv (Mar 17, 2009)

I shant be able to take someone called 'Rocky' seriously.   It just takes me back to my Rocky Horror days....

Kimberly is the only girl smiling... or is it smirking?


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## Scrus (Mar 17, 2009)

Where do you work?


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## Bakunin (Mar 17, 2009)

Does anyone remember the twatbastard who came out with this prize quote?

'We work 'til we bleed.'


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## editor (Mar 19, 2009)

Mr 'Aaamstrad sanhds twice as Cockernee as usual in the radio trailer.


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## Homeless Mal (Mar 19, 2009)

I will be following The Apprentice with gusto.  Good to see most in their 30's - should be ripe for humiliation and dressing down.  I also like to see the ones who have gotten to management or executive level within their own family's family run company exposed for the charade of being proper high achievers.  I remember Tre's humiliation weel and it was refreshing to see this practise and what it actually means in the real world exposed.


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## Gromit (Mar 19, 2009)

dogmatique said:


> Thanks, but no thanks... to be honest I'd rather not know myself, as the Apprentice is one of my guilty pleasures and now it's spoilt.  I wouldn't want to do that to anyone else.  (Or be drummed out of Urban for good...)
> 
> Mind you, I haven't seen any bookies odds yet!



My mate used to work at Amstrad and so would see the two finalists walking around. Would never tell me either. Not sure if they do a tell and you too are fired policy


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## Donna Ferentes (Mar 22, 2009)

T & P said:


> Some details of this year's contestants are surfacing:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The "chess champion" bit appears to be bullshit, as it almost always does the press. As far as I can see if you ever played chess at school at are later in the papers they put you down as "former chess champion". If anybody can find any evidence of James McQuillan ever winning anything of any significance at chess I'd be pleased to hear it.


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## Stigmata (Mar 22, 2009)

A friend of mine knows Debra Barr, says she's a blabbermouth with a total lack of self-awareness. She'll fit in nicely I expect.


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## ruffneck23 (Mar 22, 2009)

Epico said:


> I often see that Somerset-Matt-Lucas-alike wandering around Woking. I've never seen someone look so unduly pleased with themselves.
> 
> I love the Apprentice!




Ive seen him in that pub , ' the railway ' i think it is opp subway in Woking loads of times and also in Guildford in the 'Whitehouse' just last Thursday.

I can assuredly confirm he is a complete cock in Real life.

( that may also be because he is my actual bank manager,not that ive had to speak to him ,  Abbey National  in Woking )


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## electrogirl (Mar 24, 2009)

Terry Wogan just commented on the likeness of Sir Alan to Sid James.

I lolled.


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## Miss Potter (Mar 24, 2009)

Note to self: must set up a series link on Sky+ for this. Hope Adrian Chiles is still doing the follow-up show on BBC2


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## oddworld (Mar 24, 2009)

The blonde lady looks like a cross between an Appleton and Heather Mills and the one on the end looks very scary indeed.


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## Gromit (Mar 24, 2009)

I'd forgotten about the after show. I must Sky Plus both too.

Was watching the Sports Relief one last night with the Anne Summers woman etc. The outcome was never in doubt really.

The Sun editor guy just sat back and made snide comments the whole time. Chickened out from being leader cause he isn't a true leader and couldn't use his bully boy style (I pay your wage, do what i say) of leading. Didn't hand over any of his contacts when he didn't have to speak to them, he could have got one of the likable celebs to ring instead.



Spoiler: sacking



I do think that he should have been sacked and that Suralan would have taken great delight in doing it so was surprised that he didn't.


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## electrogirl (Mar 24, 2009)

Remember when that man said Sir Sugar? That was one of the most spluttery moments of my telly watching days. 'Sir Sugar'?!

Hahaha.

I don't know why I find that so funny.


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## oddworld (Mar 24, 2009)

Marius said:


> Was watching the Sports Relief one last night with the Anne Summers woman etc. The outcome was never in doubt really.


 
Can you still get this online, I missed it?


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## souljacker (Mar 24, 2009)

Brilliant! I love the Apprentice. I find it hugely entertaining watching these horrid little capitalist scum bags tearing each other apart.

One of this years muppets owns a restaurant where I live. Quite a nice little place actually. I've never met her though. I doubt she drinks in the Prince of Wales when she's off duty.


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## isvicthere? (Mar 25, 2009)

Can't wait. Alex the "I'm-only-24-you-know" grizzle-gutted creeping twat was on BBC Breakfast this a.m. and I still want to punch him in the face.

Bring it on for 2009.


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## beeboo (Mar 25, 2009)

I'm so excited, this IS going to be the highlight of my week. 




God I'm pathetic


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## Miss Potter (Mar 25, 2009)

if you are we all are, be proud of your excitement!


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## trashpony (Mar 25, 2009)

Ooh I have purposely avoided reading anything about them so I can judge them all fresh tonight. Bring it on


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## beeboo (Mar 25, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> if you are we all are, be proud of your excitement!



It's good to be amongst people who understand me


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## Voley (Mar 25, 2009)

trashpony said:


> Ooh I have purposely avoided reading anything about them so I can judge them all fresh tonight. Bring it on



Same here. I like to be shocked into how truly appalling they all are.


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## jæd (Mar 25, 2009)

oddworld said:


> The blonde lady looks like a cross between an Appleton and Heather Mills and the one on the end looks very scary indeed.



Blonde Girly looks like she's off to School Disco. And whats with the fourth one from the left. Has she just farted...? Give us a smile, luv...


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## starfish (Mar 25, 2009)

Oh dear, the first few sondbites & i want to throttle them already.


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## T & P (Mar 25, 2009)

Wanky soundbites indeed. They think they're so tough don't they...


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## Fatuous Sunbeam (Mar 25, 2009)

Well the girls are looking like crap so far.


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## brix (Mar 25, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> Well the girls are looking like crap so far.



I *think* one of the women said they should win this task because it's a cleaning task.

Yeah, girl power


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## Fatuous Sunbeam (Mar 25, 2009)

£300!!!!


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## T & P (Mar 25, 2009)

"How do you make this pressure washer work?"

"Er... you need to connect a hose to it".


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## aqua (Mar 25, 2009)

lol  I'm so pleased this is back 

they're both as bad as each other


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

ooh, is this on now? am i missing it?


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## liberty (Mar 25, 2009)

Quote of the show so far..

I'm a rough tough cream puff from New York!!!!

What a bunch of ******


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## aqua (Mar 25, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> ooh, is this on now? am i missing it?


yep and yep


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

oh yeah! bbc1 innit? i was expecting it to be on 2


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## liberty (Mar 25, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> ooh, is this on now? am i missing it?



Quick you don't know what your missing


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## Miss Potter (Mar 25, 2009)

ha ha ha ha ha 

aaaaahahahahahaha

£100 per car, what the fuck. And STOP ARGUING WITH THE CUSTOMER you silly bunch of cows


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## beesonthewhatnow (Mar 25, 2009)

Yay, they're just as fucking clueless as last years lot


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

ooooooooooh grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr they all are like ...so silly


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## Miss Potter (Mar 25, 2009)

oh just realised I'm behind you lot cos I had to pause. Damn being on call


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> oh just realised I'm behind you lot cos I had to pause. Damn being on call



you havent missed much...the boys are still cleaning 4!  yeah 4 cars 


I dont believe the boys won!  the injustice!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrr


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## Chairman Meow (Mar 25, 2009)

What a load of tossers!

God I love the Apprentice.


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## beesonthewhatnow (Mar 25, 2009)

And now the knives are drawn


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## aqua (Mar 25, 2009)

awesome  the girls are being proper bitches  I approve in such TV


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

fightfightfight!!!


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## starfish (Mar 25, 2009)

Can people really be so twattish.


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> And now the knives are drawn



bitches on heat


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## aqua (Mar 25, 2009)

I want those cocktail makers to be my friends please


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## beesonthewhatnow (Mar 25, 2009)

I love how they turn on each other


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

some of the bitches have really poo poo faces.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


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## blairsh (Mar 25, 2009)

The team leader of the womens team has already said after losing "to be honest, at the end of the day" HAHAHAHAHA! 

They're all the same....at the end of the day. Plebs.


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

get rid of Deborah...i say...ugly bitch


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## brix (Mar 25, 2009)

softybabe said:


> get rid of Anita...i say...ugly bitch


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

brix said:


>



oh dear!  I meant Deborah...so sorry Anita


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

kill them all in the face. they're just so annoying. and a bit thick tbh, if they think arguing about it is gonna impress siralan


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

aaaaarrrrggghhh! how many times can you say 'at the end of the day' without sounding like a total twat?


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

oooooh shut the fuck up!!!! all of yous!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

yeah fuck you anita!!

i would have preferred to see deborah gone tbf, with her bleedin' lip pursing :/ rubbish


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## aqua (Mar 25, 2009)

oh no! Mona so should have gone


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## KellyDJ (Mar 25, 2009)

What a useless bunch


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

'sir alan doesn't like lawyers'

lol


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## Paulie Tandoori (Mar 25, 2009)

original nuttah!


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> yeah fuck you anita!!
> 
> i would have preferred to see deborah gone tbf, with her bleedin' lip pursing :/ rubbish



innit and too right!



aqua said:


> oh no! Mona so should have gone


  Noooooooooo why?



KellyDJ said:


> What a useless bunch


  too right...he should have fired the lot of 'em


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

aqua said:


> oh no! Mona so should have gone



i felt sorry for her, she looked like she was gonna cry


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## liberty (Mar 25, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> 'sir alan doesn't like lawyers'
> 
> lol



In 10 years he will think did he make the wrong decision.... I doubt it


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## Jon-of-arc (Mar 25, 2009)

that womans team leader was shit in the board room.  what the fuck was she babbling about?


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## starfish (Mar 25, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> aaaaarrrrggghhh! how many times can you say 'at the end of the day' without sounding like a total twat?



I think she used it twice in the same sentence.


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## DRINK? (Mar 25, 2009)

Bunch of c*nts again...if they were that sh*t hot they would not be scrabbling around like brown nosing weasels to work for Sir Alan..all distinctly average with delusions of grandeur....


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## ChrisC (Mar 25, 2009)

I'm glad Mona didn't get fired I felt for her. Deborah is a two faced cow.


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## Dovydaitis (Mar 25, 2009)

i wanted the other woman to go! yes anita was like a blancmange but the other one did my head in! talk about twisting words


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## electrogirl (Mar 25, 2009)

liberty said:


> In 10 years he will think did he make the wrong decision.... I doubt it



Yeah he won't even remember her name! 

They're all crap. I thought Deborah was alrigght actually, nice eyes. I thought she seemed quite funny.

I loved the boys reactions to the cocktails 'woooooah' 'wowwwwwww' 'oooohhhhh'

I also loved the girls asking for 100 quid per Hummer.


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## big eejit (Mar 25, 2009)

Anita, you're the least telegenic. You're fired. 

Game show intit.


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## Miss Potter (Mar 25, 2009)

but Mona fell to pieces in the boardroom, she didn't show any gumption at all - just sat there looking like she was about to face the firing squad


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## Talkie Toaster (Mar 25, 2009)

They're all useless again. Quelle surprise! Enjoyable panto though ...


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## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

DRINK? said:


> Bunch of c*nts again...if they were that sh*t hot they would not be scrabbling around like brown nosing weasels to work for Sir Alan..all distinctly average with delusions of grandeur....



i think that's kinda why they choose them, makes good telly.

plus i think they need someone to some up something new that's as crap as this:


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## liberty (Mar 25, 2009)

The amazing thing is that with all their high flying careers they do not have an ounce of common sense..

But I LOVE IT


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## electrogirl (Mar 25, 2009)

Weird mouths on this one. Anita's was upside down, and that blonde one spoke out of the side of hers.


That blonde one is gonna be a total Knobend.


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## zoooo (Mar 25, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> and that blonde one spoke out of the side of hers.


Yes!!
Ooooh, all the girls are reeeeally annoying!!

Mona had pretty eyes though.

And all the boys are cocks too.
Yes, the only ones I liked were the cocktail waiters.


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## DRINK? (Mar 25, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> i think that's kinda why they choose them, makes good telly.
> 
> plus i think they need someone to some up something new that's as crap as this:



exactly...and whilst he is rich, made himself etc he has f*cked up massively...really made some stinking decisions and with Amstrad turned a billion pound business into one worth about 80m who have year after year produced worsening figures and in the world of Apple, Google, Blackberry etc are an irrelivance....compared to Trump he is mickey mouse


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## electrogirl (Mar 25, 2009)

zoooo said:


> And all the boys are cocks too.
> Yes, the only ones I liked were the cocktail waiters.



I was thinking exactly the same! I was like, I would find those cocktail shaker men waayyyyy more attractive than any of those wankers.

Alot of the people on it tonight had pretty eyes, Mona, Deborah and that male team leader had super blue ones.

Weird mouths and pretty eyes was the theme.


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## Jon-of-arc (Mar 25, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> That blonde one is gonna be a total Knobend.



the brown haired one in the final three was almost as much of a knob.  would love to see a face-off between those two...


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## paulhackett (Mar 25, 2009)

The blonde one is Heather Mills


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## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> i think that's kinda why they choose them, makes good telly.
> 
> plus i think they need someone to some up something new that's as crap as this:



hehehe!

Had one of those...relegated to the loft cos it was dialling out during the night and costing me money


----------



## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2009)

DRINK? said:


> exactly...and whilst he is rich, made himself etc he has f*cked up massively...really made some stinking decisions and with Amstrad turned a billion pound business into one worth about 80m who have year after year produced worsening figures and in the world of Apple, Google, Blackberry etc are an irrelivance....compared to Trump he is mickey mouse



this is true. on a UK scale he's successful, but globally he's fuck all.

who'd wanna work for him anyway?


----------



## zoooo (Mar 25, 2009)

I'm glad to see they are keeping up the tradition of the contestants being about 10 times more attractive and nice on the You're Fired show than on The Apprentice itself.


----------



## Part 2 (Mar 25, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Weird mouths on this one. .....and that blonde one spoke out of the side of hers.



My Mrs told me off for pointing that out, as if she had some kind of disability

Mona was rubbish and should've gone but it's already been pointed out that Anita just wasn't tellygenic enough and the prospect of further disagreements with Debbie probably saved her.


----------



## Voley (Mar 25, 2009)

Ahhh, that was superb. When they all turn on each other it's ace. 

Shaping up nicely, this one. Major rivalries in both camps already. I sort of hate myself for getting sucked into this but it really is funny, The Apprentice. Watching a bunch of total twats tear each other to pieces is great.


----------



## softybabe (Mar 25, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> My Mrs told me off for pointing that out, as if she had some kind of disability
> 
> Mona was rubbish and should've gone but it's already been pointed out that Anita just wasn't tellygenic enough and the prospect of further disagreements with Debbie probably saved her.



Siralan just wants a bitch fight cos Mona and Deborah are gonna tear each others eye out


----------



## DJ Squelch (Mar 25, 2009)

Raef is on Newsnight in a minute or two. Yay


----------



## _angel_ (Mar 26, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> ha ha ha ha ha
> 
> aaaaahahahahahaha
> 
> £100 per car, what the fuck. And STOP ARGUING WITH THE CUSTOMER you silly bunch of cows



_How much _did they think they could charge? It's obvious they've never done any cleaning - nobody ever told them it was low paid work..!


----------



## Lakina (Mar 26, 2009)

The 2009 candidates could be the dumbest yet - judging from last nights show everyone is a complete brain retard.  By rights this should be the first year Sir Alan Sugar refuses to hire anyone?


----------



## jæd (Mar 26, 2009)

The shoe shine business generated £ 70 an hour using two people. If all 6 of the boys were shining shoes they would generate £ 210 an hour for very little investment and little sales/advertising overhead... f they started at 10 am until 6 pm they would have completely trounced the girls...

And they "won"...


----------



## rover07 (Mar 26, 2009)

Saw the end of episode... brilliant. Mona should have been fired for pretend crying in the boardroom.  

Look forward to the repeat.


----------



## beeboo (Mar 26, 2009)

jæd said:


> The shoe shine business generated £ 70 an hour using two people. If all 6 of the boys were shining shoes they would generate £ 210 an hour for very little investment and little sales/advertising overhead... f they started at 10 am until 6 pm they would have completely trounced the girls...
> 
> And they "won"...




Do they actually sit down and actually think about anything before they do it...shoe shining also needed very little equipment hire - get out into the City or something, they'd have been laughing.

I'd be interested to know more about how the whole thing is set up though - did they find places like the car showrooms on their own, or were they already arranged by the production team?  Even with the car washing, I thought they'd have done better targetting average punters rather than corporate-end stuff where they have high expectations of waxing and polishing.


----------



## _angel_ (Mar 26, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Do they actually sit down and actually think about anything before they do it...shoe shining also needed very little equipment hire - get out into the City or something, they'd have been laughing.
> 
> I'd be interested to know more about how the whole thing is set up though - did they find places like the car showrooms on their own, or were they already arranged by the production team?  Even with the car washing, I thought they'd have done better targetting average punters rather than corporate-end stuff where they have high expectations of waxing and polishing.



The HAD to have been pre-arranged. Nobody rings someone, arranges a meeting and then gets the job all on the same day.

There were other q's also, when they were shoe shining etc, don't you need a traders license, or something to do that?
 Etc.


----------



## tarannau (Mar 26, 2009)

Nah, I think it's within the bounds of credibility. A place the size of an Addison Lee depot will have 30 odd cars around that need cleaning. And if some wisearse rang you up offering a discount or identical rate for valeting your motors, throwing in a hefty bit of an advertising opportunity on BBC1, then you'd be mad not to take them up on it tbf. You can always get them cleaned all over again once you've got rid of the knobbers and you've gained coverage on prime time for £60 or so.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 26, 2009)

My god, they're even more utterly useless than ever before.  If that's possible.

If you really want to clean cars -- and I really doubt in any case that is the highest proft generator for a day's work for a clueless newbie, but anyway -- go to an office block where people will pay you £5 a pop to do the outside of their car and not even care that much how good a job is done, so long as they don't have to do it themselves.  You can spend 5-10 minutes tops per car and you'll have at least 100 cars to do in a decent sized office.

Or go to B&Q car park and do a similar thing.

And you'll only need some buckets and sponges to do it too.

It's pure arrogance on the part of the contestants that says that if they are going to have to get their hands dirty actually washing things then they will have to do it by cleaning Ferraris and Hummers.  A stupid decision by a bunch of stupid arrogant tosspots.

It's certainly entertaining shout-at-the-telly idiocy though.


----------



## beeboo (Mar 26, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Nah, I think it's within the bounds of credibility. A place the size of an Addison Lee depot will have 30 odd cars around that need cleaning. And if some wisearse rang you up offering a discount or identical rate for valeting your motors, throwing in a hefty bit of an advertising opportunity on BBC1, then you'd be mad not to take them up on it tbf. You can always get them cleaned all over again once you've got rid of the knobbers and you've gained coverage on prime time for £60 or so.



I'm sure a lot of people would pay for the comedy/entertainment value alone. 

I do wonder to what extent they're directed by production though - I can't believe that anyone would have thought that cleaning three Hummers would be a good idea...although if they're idiot enough to think they can charge £100 a pop, then maybe...


----------



## Upchuck (Mar 26, 2009)

Some astute observations on this year's crap Apprentice candidates.  The blonde one is pretty (despite her wonky mouthed talking) which goes a long way with a shallow person like me  and I liked that guy who took the lead, the real estate agent, cos he seemed as shady and underhand as hell.  Mona was utterly useless, Deborah sly and disgraceful, the guy with the beard politically incorrect and a bit of a sad wanker (will be interesting to see how he goes) and there was another funny woman who had her skirt hitched all the way up to just under her breasts.  What's her story


----------



## Stoat Boy (Mar 26, 2009)

Its a tired old concept now which needs updating. Personally I would replace Sugar with another Captain of Industry.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 26, 2009)

oh my god, i just realised i know Anita 
I kind of thought i recognised her last night, but the wonders of facebook has now confirmed it


----------



## kabbes (Mar 26, 2009)

Stoat Boy said:


> Personally I would replace Sugar with another Captain of Industry.


Definitely.  Very, very definitely.  Sugar is hopeless.  It would have to be somebody personally hungry for publicity though, for obvious reasons, which probably limits the options.


----------



## London_Calling (Mar 26, 2009)

Is he softening in his non-campaign to be the next Mayor of London yet?


----------



## Voley (Mar 26, 2009)

Lakina said:


> By rights this should be the first year Sir Alan Sugar refuses to hire anyone?



That would be the best ending possible. "You've done all this hard work but I'm still not hiring you. Fuck off!"


----------



## kabbes (Mar 26, 2009)

You forget that what Sugar needs is emphatically *not* a high-flying smart cookie.  That would be disastrous for him.  His organisation is just not that kind of business, it doesn't do any really entrepeneurial, intelligent, original kind of work.  No, what he needs is a middle-of-the-road plodder to do his tedious donkey-work without question, preferably whilst toadying.  These candidates are just about perfect.


----------



## Onslow (Mar 26, 2009)

big eejit said:


> Anita, you're the least telegenic. You're fired.
> 
> Game show intit.



And its a shame, because oompah lumpa's make great workers


----------



## Onslow (Mar 26, 2009)

Stoat Boy said:


> Its a tired old concept now which needs updating. Personally I would replace Sugar with another Captain of Industry.



Sir Richard of Branson!


----------



## beeboo (Mar 26, 2009)

kabbes said:


> You forget that what Sugar needs is emphatically *not* a high-flying smart cookie.  That would be disastrous for him.  His organisation is just not that kind of business, it doesn't do any really entrepeneurial, intelligent, original kind of work.  No, what he needs is a middle-of-the-road plodder to do his tedious donkey-work without question, preferably whilst toadying.  These candidates are just about perfect.



I saw last year's winner lugging some large suitcases about in the rain in Wigan recently.  I did ask him if this was what he thought he'd signed up for - he didn't answer me


----------



## beeboo (Mar 26, 2009)

Onslow said:


> Sir Richard of Branson!



Hasn't he already got some version of the concept?  Can't remember what it's called but it was less business focused, a bit varied dare-devil challenges.


----------



## rover07 (Mar 26, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I saw last year's winner lugging some large suitcases about in the rain in Wigan recently.  I did ask him if this was what he thought he'd signed up for - he didn't answer me


----------



## treelover (Mar 26, 2009)

Surely, it's now a programme out of time, both in morality and topicality, not that I watched this US import even when it supposedly had the 'zeitgeist'


Newsnight discussed this last night...


----------



## STFC (Mar 26, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Do they actually sit down and actually think about anything before they do it...shoe shining also needed very little equipment hire - get out into the City or something, they'd have been laughing.
> 
> I'd be interested to know more about how the whole thing is set up though - did they find places like the car showrooms on their own, or were they already arranged by the production team?  Even with the car washing, I thought they'd have done better targetting average punters rather than corporate-end stuff where they have high expectations of waxing and polishing.



I'm think the teams must be given a shortlist of companies that have agreed to take part in the show. No way did they just phone Addison Lee cold and arrange a meeting.

Plus the shoe shine boys had the chairs all set up at "St Pancreas", it appeared to be a pre-arranged pitch.


----------



## al (Mar 26, 2009)

blairsh said:


> The team leader of the womens team has already said after losing "to be honest, at the end of the day" HAHAHAHAHA!
> 
> They're all the same....at the end of the day. Plebs.




We did the apprentice drinking game last night, any time anyone says 'at the end of the day' you take a shot...

... it gets pretty heavy once they're in the boardroom..


----------



## Bakunin (Mar 26, 2009)

Here's a choice quote from the first budding Apprentice to be fired, courtesy of the Daily Heil:



12 ANITA SHAH, 35 (first to be fired)

The business strategist from Birmingham is a qualified lawyer who considers herself to be a 'humanitarian with a Bridget Jones alter-ego'. She hoped to be the antidote to the Alpha females and wants to write a 'chick-lit' novel.

Quote: 'I am outstanding - that is a given.'


----------



## ch750536 (Mar 26, 2009)

110%, 200%, more than 100%

wankers.


----------



## zenie (Mar 26, 2009)

I can't balieve people don't know how to clean cars 

They're all so up their own arses, yet don't seem to have any substance. I did feel sorry for the girls cos the blokes were in some ways much worse!


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 26, 2009)

The show is so scripted. I know (or knew) Anita and she is nothing like the 'character' we saw on telly last night.


----------



## zenie (Mar 26, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> The show is so scripted. I know (or knew) Anita and she is nothing like the 'character' we saw on telly last night.


 

As far as I could make out her biggest mistake was saying 'We've come under budget' they made her a scapegoat imo


----------



## Onslow (Mar 26, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> The show is so scripted. I know (or knew) Anita and she is nothing like the 'character' we saw on telly last night.



Hmm, so scripted or so edited? Surely they wouldn't have fed her lines to say to make her look an idiotOr if they did surely she wouldn't have gone along with it.


----------



## zoooo (Mar 26, 2009)

It's megggggga edited.
They'll show someone saying something silly and then cut to the whole table laughing at them or looking away bored.

Both of which probably happened hours apart.

Oh well, is still fun!


----------



## beeboo (Mar 26, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> The show is so scripted. I know (or knew) Anita and she is nothing like the 'character' we saw on telly last night.



Although she did admit on the 'You're Fired' show that she was behaving nothing like herself - bit of a 'rabbit in the headlights' experience.  

Even allowing for the normal media coaching etc which inevitably goes on in advance of 'You're Fired' etc, she was a completely different person on that show than the one who was on the main show.


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 26, 2009)

zoooo said:


> It's megggggga edited.
> They'll show someone saying something silly and then cut to the whole table laughing at them or looking away bored.
> 
> Both of which probably happened hours apart.
> ...



'How about Shazzam?'
'hahahahahahahaha *bitchy giggles*'

like that bit ^^^


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 26, 2009)

damm, i always forget to watch the You're Fired show. Is it right after the main show?


----------



## zoooo (Mar 26, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> 'How about Shazzam?'
> 'hahahahahahahaha *bitchy giggles*'
> 
> like that bit ^^^



Yes! That's the exact bit I was thinking of.



Hellsbells said:


> damm, i always forget to watch the You're Fired show. Is it right after the main show?



Yeah, BBC2.


----------



## DRINK? (Mar 26, 2009)

zenie said:


> As far as I could make out her biggest mistake was saying 'We've come under budget' they made her a scapegoat imo




She came across like an absolute tw*t ...I am the big I am, I am outstanding, I am this I am that, I am a lawyer....am sure she was no worse than anyone eles though still an idiot...glad she went...


----------



## beeboo (Mar 26, 2009)

zenie said:


> As far as I could make out her biggest mistake was saying 'We've come under budget' they made her a scapegoat imo



On YF, (yeah it's just YF now, it's the new cool lingo), she was saying that when she said that it was a kind of:

 "eek, cameras are on me, everyone is waiting for me to say something....say something inspirational!....erm 'Well done girls, we're under budget'....no fuck, fuck, fuck, not that, that's a ridiculous thing to say....but it's already out of my mouth, argh!"


----------



## Lakina (Mar 26, 2009)

The girls are all such bitches - can't wait to see them lay into each other next week.


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 26, 2009)

Lakina said:


> The girls are all such bitches - can't wait to see them lay into each other next week.



tbf, the boys are bitches too.


----------



## clicker (Mar 27, 2009)

This year it's all about coloured contact lenses and whitened teeth. I feel robbed ....no jauntily, brightly bereted kooky one.


----------



## DRINK? (Mar 27, 2009)

Anita is planning on capitalising on her new found fame by writing a book about her experiences....can't wait for that

Her whole experience of one day of washing cars…Who the f*ck does she think would publish that sh*t?

and she does look like an angler fish


----------



## Gromit (Mar 27, 2009)

zenie said:


> As far as I could make out her biggest mistake was saying 'We've come under budget' they made her a scapegoat imo


 
Yeah they pinned over-spending on her but they were all too blame. Any of them could have put the brakes on. 
Yes some of them said afterwards "hey I think we spend too much?" 
Well why didn't they speak up before?

When you got several people grabbing equipment and shouting numbers at you all your brain is thinking about is making sure you got all the numbers. That you don't stuff up the sums. Then you give the sums to the project manager and they make the decision. She was being an accountant not a Finance Manager.

Saying that though she wasn't a grafter. Just look at her acting all confused about how to clean a car. Suralan likes people who can be practical as well as big picture.


----------



## Santino (Mar 27, 2009)

Marius said:


> Saying that though she wasn't a grafter. Just look at her acting all confused about how to clean a car.


The editing makes it impossible to know how representative that 3-second shot of her looking bewildered was though. For all we know she worked harder than any of the others.


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 27, 2009)

clicker said:


> This year it's all about coloured contact lenses and whitened teeth. I feel robbed ....no jauntily, brightly bereted kooky one.



aw I loved her. She looked like an art teacher and she was all posh.


----------



## ymu (Mar 27, 2009)

Alex B said:


> The editing makes it impossible to know how representative that 3-second shot of her looking bewildered was though. For all we know she worked harder than any of the others.


Yeah, but it was a criticism that suralun raised in the board room, which won't have been based on a 3 second edit. I think it was actually him that put Anita in the frame in the first place - some snide comment about getting her hands dirty and then placing the budget fiasco squarely on her shoulders.

They did fail the task on the budgeting - and Anita was responsible for more than the adding up, even if it hadn't occurred to her (or any of them) to discuss how much they should spend. I'm always amazed by how they manage to fuck these things up. I don't think I've ever seen a team sit down and work out what's actually being asked of them. If you're given a budget to start a business, part of the task is managing that budget; if you're given a fixed price point to design a perfume to, part of the task is designing the product to be profitable at that price point, and if you're asked to produce an advert, a picture and a logo was good enough for Amstrad so ...


----------



## beeboo (Mar 27, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> aw I loved her. She looked like an art teacher and she was all posh.



She seemed to have a lot of the same items of clothing as me.  Although I don't wear berets.


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 27, 2009)

I have no idea about what Sir Sugar actually does or did or whatever.



beeboo said:


> She seemed to have a lot of the same items of clothing as me.  Although I don't wear berets.



That is . 

It was refeshing to see her in bright clothes and stuff.


----------



## beeboo (Mar 27, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I have no idea about what Sir Sugar actually does or did or whatever.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It was kind of depressing that she was marked out as the 'kooky' one as to me she seemed much more 'normal' than any of the other psychos.

Apart from the berets.  Berets ARE kooky.


----------



## isvicthere? (Mar 27, 2009)

Question to Debra: what is this "plate" up to which one is required to step?


----------



## Lakina (Mar 28, 2009)

isvicthere? said:


> Question to Debra: what is this "plate" up to which one is required to step?




It's a baseball plate, she needs to walk up to it.  Then make a match winning catch, and put the ball in the hole.  Thinking outside the box will help.


----------



## ebay sex moomin (Mar 29, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I saw last year's winner lugging some large suitcases about in the rain in Wigan recently.  I did ask him if this was what he thought he'd signed up for - he didn't answer me


you mean he _didn't_ bellow, 'THAT'S WHA' 'AM TAWKIN' ABAAHT!'?


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 29, 2009)

ebay sex moomin said:


> you mean he _didn't_ bellow, 'THAT'S WHA' 'AM TAWKIN' ABAAHT!'?



rrrrruuuurrr


----------



## zoooo (Mar 29, 2009)

God, he was such a twunt.


----------



## beeboo (Mar 29, 2009)

ebay sex moomin said:


> you mean he _didn't_ bellow, 'THAT'S WHA' 'AM TAWKIN' ABAAHT!'?



I think he managed to say 'fuck' about three times in the same sentence, so he wasn't entirely off form.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 30, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> rrrrruuuurrr


Shit, I forgot that idiot won it.  But then, he is perfect for the actual mid-level toadying donkey-work role that Sugar actually wants to fill.  Bright-coloured beret woman actually had some intelligence and creativity, plus a willingness to stand up for herself, so would have been completely out of place.


----------



## isvicthere? (Mar 30, 2009)

*i could be wrong but*



Lakina said:


> It's a baseball plate, she needs to walk up to it.  Then make a match winning catch, and put the ball in the hole.  Thinking outside the box will help.



I think it's also necessary to give, oh let's say....... 110%


----------



## Miss Potter (Mar 31, 2009)

and don't forget you have to bring blue sky thinking to the table


----------



## bouncer_the_dog (Mar 31, 2009)

at the end of the day


----------



## Epico (Apr 1, 2009)

It's on tonight, at the end of the day.

Going to watch the 1st half of the england game and then switch over.


----------



## 1927 (Apr 1, 2009)

This is embarasssing. I wouldn't let either team cater for my son's !st birthday party. It is cringe tv. Do you people really see themselves as potential entrepeneurs,ffs.

This was a brilliant task and they have both fucked up bigtime, cutting the quality to the bone. These people should have enough idea of corporate catering to realise that they have it totally wrong!!!


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 1, 2009)

1927 said:


> This is embarasssing. I wouldn't let either team cater for my son's !st birthday party. It is cringe tv. Do you people really see themselves as potential entrepeneurs,ffs.
> 
> This was a brilliant task and they have both fucked up bigtime, cutting the quality to the bone. These people should have enough idea of corporate catering to realise that they have it totally wrong!!!



How are you reading my mind?


----------



## softybabe (Apr 1, 2009)

ooooooooooh the girls are so stingy with their fillings...made of fail


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 1, 2009)

'It's not every day someone comes and offers you a peanut butter sandwich in the office'. No indeed, but it is most days I forget my lunch and have only manky bread and peanut butter. Knobbers.

Oh my gosh! The girls ladling soggy tomatoes over a bit of bread. YICK!

I always try to make myself like the girls, in the spirit of not being a girl who hates girls but they are awful. Crappo.


----------



## brix (Apr 1, 2009)

When the boys went in and pitched at £65 per head for *canapes* it was brilliant!!!  What complete arses


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Apr 1, 2009)

the girls' canapes! Wtf!


----------



## wiskey (Apr 1, 2009)

toga's

!!


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 1, 2009)

That girl saying 'hi!' and holding a wine glass of olives! Heh.

The boys' thing with a slice of sausage on a dorito!!!!!


----------



## gaijingirl (Apr 1, 2009)

I've actually been to that law firm in the Gherkin and seen what the receptionists (as my friend was one) had received as leftovers from a meeting - it was some of the most amazing food I've ever seen - just gorgeous.  I felt out of place merely being there to meet my mate.

It definitely did not strike me as a place to wear a toga...


----------



## wiskey (Apr 1, 2009)

To be fair I work for the NHS and we get the leftovers from meetings put in the mess room and they are really nicely made. This lot couldn't ahve done much worse if they'd tried. 

I'm not a city slicker type but even I know what a canapé should be like.


----------



## gaijingirl (Apr 1, 2009)

They do, however, look better than what we get for INSET at school...


----------



## softybabe (Apr 1, 2009)

those are not bilinis (sp)!  oh dear!


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Apr 1, 2009)

I love their take on blinis.
If that girl's a restaurateur then I'm Gordon Ramsay.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 1, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> They do, however, look better than what we get for INSET at school...



Our last INSET food was way better than that and it was not great!

I used to work for a PR firm, and the stuff we got even for internal meetings was awesome. They wouldn't have given that to their dogs.


----------



## gaijingirl (Apr 1, 2009)

milly molly said:


> Our last INSET food was way better than that and it was not great!



Swanky academies..


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 1, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> Swanky academies..



No no! It was just picnic eggs and bits of chicken on sticks. I like picnic eggs and love chicken on sticks!!


How young are those Apprentice boys?!?!


----------



## 1927 (Apr 1, 2009)

I had to go and satnd in the kitchen until the task was over, I really could not watch that, it felt like voyeurism, looking in on someone else's grief, it didn't feel right and I felt unclean!


----------



## softybabe (Apr 1, 2009)

fire Howard pls


poor lil Rocky


----------



## 1927 (Apr 1, 2009)

softybabe said:


> fire Howard pls
> 
> 
> poor lil Rocky



WTF!

A man who makes his fortune in catering fucks up a catering challenge, how could anyone take him seriously after that!!


----------



## pinkmonkey (Apr 1, 2009)

wiskey said:


> To be fair I work for the NHS and we get the leftovers from meetings put in the mess room and they are really nicely made. This lot couldn't ahve done much worse if they'd tried.
> 
> I'm not a city slicker type but even I know what a canapé should be like.



They were so enormous they were canape-zillas.   

I nearly wept when I saw the dorito/salami thing.  What the fuck was that *supposed* to be 

They gave me and my mum a laugh tonight though.


----------



## brix (Apr 1, 2009)

pinkmonkey said:


> They were so enormous they were canape-zillas.
> 
> I nearly wept when I saw the dorito/salami thing.  What the fuck was that *supposed* to be
> 
> They gave me and my mum a laugh tonight though.



Ahem.  Wan't it dorito, salami *and ketchup*?


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Apr 1, 2009)

ahh poor lad.
(((his arthritic knees)))


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2009)

SQUEEZE YOUR SPOT ROCKY


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2009)

I was literally cracking up at those cheese-on-sticks and dorito sausage canapes. 

And Nick's line about 'pasty arms and spotty backs' hahahah.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 1, 2009)

i thought James would have gone


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Apr 1, 2009)

it was funny watching the smug ones laughing at the taste of success man, a man so forgettable I won't even ask what his name was.
lots of laughs tonight but really, polo? for a treat? I did worry for those horse's ankles


----------



## big eejit (Apr 1, 2009)

Useless shower. Very funny.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2009)

WHY DO I FANCY PHILIP??!!?!


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm watching this BBC2 programme for the first time, and very much enjoying it.


----------



## softybabe (Apr 1, 2009)

1927 said:


> WTF!
> 
> A man who makes his fortune in catering fucks up a catering challenge, how could anyone take him seriously after that!!



well....he makes his fortune doing it so he must be doing something right ....he's a baby for fecks sake!  The prog is hardly portraying real life...'tis a tv prog....they're just trying to get noticed or why else will people already getting 6 figure salaries what to work for siralan


----------



## Mitre10 (Apr 1, 2009)

Does anyone know who the woman was on the panel of the You're Fired show on BBC2?


----------



## Epico (Apr 1, 2009)

Mitre10, she's a comedian called Shappi Khorsandi - I liked her.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 1, 2009)

Why would someone with 15 shops or who runs, what was it 10 pubs want to be an apprentice to Alan Sugar, a man whose business hayday has certainly passed by some time ago.


----------



## Voley (Apr 2, 2009)

Dear God, the food they served up was dire. 

Those tuna, erm, 'things'. Fucking hell.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 2, 2009)

mmmmmmmmmmmm tuna on a cracker


----------



## Stoat Boy (Apr 2, 2009)

I thought the little Smoggie was hard done by last night. Yes it all went horribly wrong but he obviously has some nous about him with the 15 sandwich shops he already owns, was willing to put himself up for leading the task which took him into a world he knows very little about.

If the programe is about recognising talent and bringing it through then he should not have been sacked. I would have got rid of the gobby bloke. 

Still its just a glorified reality show.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

My reaction at the time was much like the above.  It was car crash telly.

Then I had a little think.

What we're seeing here is the consequence of confusing a game show with real world business.  In the real world, you couldn't get away with what the women's team did because you'd never get another contract ever again.  But in the context of a game show, they pitched it perfectly.  The consequence of using shitty and sparse ingredients was that they saved over £300 in costs.  Meanwhile, they only lost £250 in punishment.  Result -- being £50 up.  Yes, it was highly, highly embarassing and cringeworthy and they probably felt like shits.  But they won the task and so all got through to the next round.  Which of them cares that everybody they sold to hated it and would never buy from them again?  It doesn't hurt them.

No excuses for the men's team though.  They were shit in either context!


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

Stoat Boy said:


> I thought the little Smoggie was hard done by last night. Yes it all went horribly wrong but he obviously has some nous about him with the 15 sandwich shops he already owns, was willing to put himself up for leading the task which took him into a world he knows very little about.
> 
> If the programe is about recognising talent and bringing it through then he should not have been sacked. I would have got rid of the gobby bloke.


So people keep saying.  Yet there are no rewards in business for merely being enthusiastic and willing to take decisions.  You have to get those decisions right and you have to know what you're doing.  He consistently showed himself to be unable to do this, so he lost.  The fact that at some future nebulous time he might be better is not the issue.  He might improve, he might not.  But here and now he is poor at performing.


----------



## Santino (Apr 2, 2009)

kabbes said:


> What we're seeing here is the consequence of confusing a game show with real world business.  In the real world, you couldn't get away with what the women's team did because you'd never get another contract ever again.  But in the context of a game show, they pitched it perfectly.  The consequence of using shitty and sparse ingredients was that they saved over £300 in costs.  Meanwhile, they only lost £250 in punishment.  Result -- being £50 up.  Yes, it was highly, highly embarassing and cringeworthy and they probably felt like shits.  But they won the task and so all got through to the next round.  Which of them cares that everybody they sold to hated it and would never buy from them again?  It doesn't hurt them.


Yep, I agree.

A major fuck-up that both teams avoided was getting excited by actually producing quality food and ending up being charged a fortune for organic fairtrade free range ingredients and not even covering their costs. The girls had exactly the right idea, this show is all about quick wins. It reminded me of the art broker task a series or two back, when some of the contestants got carried away with creating a good show when all Alan wants is to make a quick buck.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

You could even say that Sugar's entire business has always been about packaging cheap, shoddy crap and selling it at inflated prices...


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Apr 2, 2009)

Wasn't the thing about Amstrads that they at least didn't break down very often, not least because they were so basic there was nothing much to go wrong?


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

Donna Ferentes said:


> Wasn't the thing about Amstrads that they at least didn't break down very often, not least because they were so basic there was nothing much to go wrong?


How often does a PC "break down" in any case?  What I do remember was that the Amstrad PCs were incredibly noisy, slow and generally shite.  I know 'cos we had one.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Apr 2, 2009)

kabbes said:


> How often does a PC "break down" in any case?



Gawd, all the time, don't they?

I had an Amstrad. What I remember about it was that it had a daisy-wheel printer, incredibly loud, which only took one page at a time. I wrote a book on it and it took me three days to print out the MS, entering each sheet individually. Mediaeval monks could have done it faster.

And in colour.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

Yes, but mediaeval monks were the <current youth-speak exhortation for a good thing>.  I went to the museum exhibit in the British Library at the weekend and the quality of their work put our modern printing to shame.  True, it took them 30 years to produce one book.  But it was _beautiful_.  In some ways it certainly makes you reconsider the definition "progress".

I have no idea what my point is here.  I just liked what I saw.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

Oh yeah, and PCs don't tend to break down so much in terms of their parts -- it's more the software that corrupts.  Or the disk drive, admittedly.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Apr 2, 2009)

My point is that while Amstrads were certainly cheap crap, they weren't necessarily shoddy.


----------



## Voley (Apr 2, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> mmmmmmmmmmmm tuna on a cracker



 It looked like the sort of thing I knock up when I've got back from the pub and there's nothing in the fridge.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

A computer that is loud enough to actively put you off your own thoughts seems pretty shoddy to me!


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Apr 2, 2009)

Well, you couldn't print and work at the same time, that was for sure.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

And let us not even mention the email-phone.  No, actually, let us mention it again.  We never get tired of mentioning it.


----------



## tarannau (Apr 2, 2009)

The email phone was humiliatingly shite, but iirc Amstrad were more renown for their word processor type things (pcw?) than typical pc clones. 

They were green screen, proprietary and a bit rubbish. But they also were a bit of a cheaper way into something more advanced than a typewriter and they had their place, lingering around on technophobe authors' desks for many years.


----------



## _angel_ (Apr 2, 2009)

Stoat Boy said:


> I thought the little Smoggie was hard done by last night. Yes it all went horribly wrong but he obviously has some nous about him with the 15 sandwich shops he already owns, was willing to put himself up for leading the task which took him into a world he knows very little about.
> 
> If the programe is about recognising talent and bringing it through then he should not have been sacked. I would have got rid of the gobby bloke.
> 
> Still its just a glorified reality show.



I was wondering about the lad with "15" sandwich shops.. is he the sole owner or d'you think he may be a junior partner or a family business?

Cos I just can't understand how he could know nothing about sandwiches or catering otherwise.

Both teams food looked vomlicious.


----------



## Santino (Apr 2, 2009)

We had a PCW at home for years, it never broke down in any way. And there were things I could do with the word processor that I still can't do with Word. Not many things, but a few.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 2, 2009)

srsly, why didn't he squeeze that spot?


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

Alex B said:


> We had a PCW at home for years, it never broke down in any way. And there were things I could do with the word processor that I still can't do with Word. Not many things, but a few.


Write good essays?


----------



## Santino (Apr 2, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Write good essays?


You haven't contributed anything to the thread this week, kabbes. I put you in charge of snide digs and all you could do was... No, let me finish, no, you've had your say, just shut up for a bit. All you've done is present a penetrating analysis of how the task was won, you haven't done the one thing I asked, which was to give the rest of the team some lulz, and that's why I think you should be fired.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

You shouldn't fire me because I _really want this_.  Me.  I want it.  And I'm great because I make mistakes _but I admit them_.  And I may be crap now, but you just give me twenty years!  And I tried hard.  But most of all, I really want it.


----------



## Santino (Apr 2, 2009)

kabbes said:


> You shouldn't fire me because I _really want this_.  Me.  I want it.  And I'm great because I make mistakes _but I admit them_.  And I may be crap now, but you just give me twenty years!  And I tried hard.  But most of all, I really want it.


You forgot to hold your hands up, while saying 'I hold my hands up'.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 2, 2009)

Alex B said:


> You forgot to hold your hands up, while saying 'I hold my hands up'.


And then whilst literally holding my hands up to the metaphorical hand-holding, I should have failed to appreciate the irony of saying that it was "literally killing me" to be fired.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 2, 2009)

I like the boys. They were having a right laugh this week.

It's a modern twist on the ploughmans! No, it's cheese and pineapple on a stick. Without the pineapple.
Let's wear togas! No, don't.
Get your american sandwiches here! I'm not paying £4 or peanut butter on bread.


----------



## Santino (Apr 2, 2009)

The Olympic theme was so fucking idiotic that it makes me wonder how the production team guides them through a task like that. They were probably instructed to come up with a theme in a small timeframe, and then told that everything they did had to be in keeping with the theme.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 2, 2009)

Alex B said:


> The Olympic theme was so fucking idiotic that it makes me wonder how the production team guides them through a task like that. They were probably instructed to come up with a theme in a small timeframe, and then told that everything they did had to be in keeping with the theme.



I know, I thought I'd missed something at one point, I was like..hang on..what has this theme got to do with ANYTHING?!

I guess it was around the time we actually got the olympics, but still.

The woman's team leader was such a DICK.

'er excuse me, sorry, can I just interrupt..'
'don't say that, just spit it out...'

Alright mate, calm down, you fucking weirdo.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 2, 2009)

They may have just assumed that they needed a theme as in previous shows teams generally tend to theme stuff.

Basically if they don't have a theme they are accused of neglecting marketing.

Why the boys bothered spending £200 on room dressing etc. I don't know. Hadn't they learned last week's lessons about keeping costs low?
The girls certainly had, to the extent that their product was shit and they would never ever get repeat business. The fact that aspect isn't judged is a disapointing ommision to the competition format.

I think they should have had their fee halved too. Had they'd been working for the other guy i think he would have judged them as harshly as he judged the boys.


----------



## aqua (Apr 2, 2009)

that was brilliant  I laughed and laughed and laughed some more  more like that please


----------



## Griff (Apr 2, 2009)

I like the Geordie bloke. I felt a bit sorry for him when he went in at £60 and the bloke looked at him as if he'd just shat on the coffee table. 

Good stuff, but collectively they just seem so... err... rubbish at things.


----------



## isvicthere? (Apr 2, 2009)

Absolutely _loved_ the blonde woman's "presentation" - epic fail.


----------



## leftistangel (Apr 8, 2009)

Rocky shouldnt have been allowed on the show in the first place, what he did he need Sir Alan for when he had his own succesful business and earming more than the 100 grand the post offered. These men up north really like to have their cake and eat it dont they?


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

The geordie fella and the Natalie Appleton got it on you know. Full on romance.

woot.


----------



## big eejit (Apr 8, 2009)

Guantanamo Bay, Apprentice style


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 8, 2009)

anyine else gonna be doing the website thingy?


----------



## aqua (Apr 8, 2009)

what website thingy


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

yeah, what website thingy?


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

That geordie fella is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO geordie


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> That geordie fella is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO geordie



It was the whistle that made him especially so.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

I fancy him a bit


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Ethnic Minority Sports Club


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Ethnic Minority Sports Club


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Apr 8, 2009)

It really annoys me that they keep showing shots of the women's legs and their high heels. And that they are all conceited arseholes of course.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Ben has shocked himself by how amazing he is.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 8, 2009)

that pitch was rubbish. She had better not do the real pitch.


----------



## clicker (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I fancy him a bit



He fancies himself more....stop it at once...it's just a lean year for eye candy.


----------



## ddraig (Apr 8, 2009)

the website bit where you can play along on who should stay


----------



## blairsh (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Ben has shocked himself by how amazing he is.



Haha! What a twat. He makes it sound like he engineered the entire thing himself and then he comes out with "Out of all the men i would say i am the best looking"

These people don't exist! As if!


----------



## trashpony (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> yeah, what website thingy?



yeah


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

ddraig said:


> the website bit where you can play along on who should stay



what? someone has won already hasn't they?

EXPLAIN


----------



## ddraig (Apr 8, 2009)

oh hush mun
http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/predictor/instructions.html


----------



## ddraig (Apr 8, 2009)

wow i got 23 points banked on the dope one with 24mins to go!


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 8, 2009)

don't slap that ass!


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

'guys'


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Apr 8, 2009)

I don't like Ben's braces! I'd like to twang them in his face


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Ben is hilare.

His smugface and his big muscly triangle body and his wacky outfits.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Ben is hilare.
> 
> His smugface and his big muscly triangle body and his wacky outfits.



I don't like his wacky socks either


----------



## clicker (Apr 8, 2009)

Or his David Dickinson cheap as chips suit.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Apr 8, 2009)

I like the geordie bloke - Philip - he seems alright


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Ben's suits are deffo from Officer's Club


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

He's wearing the same lipsticks as the blonde lady.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

lllllllllllllllollllllllllllllllllllll

this is the funniest thing i have ever seen


----------



## clicker (Apr 8, 2009)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I like the geordie bloke - Philip - he seems alright




Glad he defended the pitcher....Debra was so ready to play her as the fall guy. I reckon Phillip sees Debra as the competition....please let Ben go tonight.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Apr 8, 2009)

Ben to go...although that Maj (sp) bloke seems a bit of a waste of space tbh


----------



## Lakina (Apr 8, 2009)

James for the chop!


----------



## Lakina (Apr 8, 2009)

God, they all look so miserable!


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

I like james


----------



## clicker (Apr 8, 2009)

Well that was an anti climax....


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Apr 8, 2009)

I think the right person went


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Ben and his orange beady eyed pieface should've gone.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Ben and his orange beady eyed pieface should've gone.



I don't like him and look forward to his humiliating departure soon in  the future but that Maj bloke was about as useful as me!


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Fucking hell, Carol fucking Malone. This should be nice.


----------



## big eejit (Apr 8, 2009)

Their gym equipment looked like some sort of Stasi electric torture device.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 8, 2009)

I like how the geordie bloke stood up for Lorraine (?) in the boardroom.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

That bit with Katherine Jenkins serenading them and the girls holding hands and them all thoughtfully smiling at eachother was amazing lols. I could watch that again.


----------



## DexterTCN (Apr 8, 2009)

The holding hands was a bit weird though.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

DexterTCN said:


> The holding hands was a bit weird though.



They were overwhelmed with emotion.


----------



## madamv (Apr 8, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> don't slap that ass!



I nearly spat my lime squash all over the dog at that.  I loved the John Lewis' bloke desperately holding in his hysterics at that.

Next week looks full of facepalm moments


----------



## Santino (Apr 8, 2009)

James looks likes Noel Fielding if he had done Business Studies instead of Art for A Level.






Fielding






James


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Oh my god you're so right!


----------



## Santino (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Oh my god you're so right!


He even sounds like him, something I've observed with other people who look alike. 

Like Martin Clunes and John Sergeant.





Clunes






Sergeant


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

Hhahahaha. I'm actually lolling.


----------



## zoooo (Apr 8, 2009)

Poor Noely!

Fair point though innit.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 8, 2009)

I like James though, he seems to be quite down to earth and, well, just _nicer_ than the rest of them,


----------



## Athos (Apr 8, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I like James though, he seems to be quite down to earth and, well, just _nicer_ than the rest of them,



It would be hard not to be.  Where do they find these people?!


----------



## Santino (Apr 8, 2009)

Like many episodes, tonight the board room bits seemed to completely ignore (what the editing made it seem) was the key point at which the task was won or lost, which was when James said 'keep it simple' and the others ignored him.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 8, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Like many episodes, tonight the board room bits seemed to completely ignore (what the editing made it seem) was the key point at which the task was won or lost, which was when James said 'keep it simple' and the others ignored him.



Absolutely. My friend and I were shouting that at Alan. 

I hated it when James was so utterly desperate to stay. I hate that.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 8, 2009)

I thought the bingo wing buster was a good concept. What went wrong was:

a) the presentation of the product. It wasn't made sexy enough. Ugly black box with silly cables. Yuck.
b) they tried to make it do to many things and lost the unique selling point and the marketing focus

The original concept was good, The product could have been good but they didn't get the designers to deliver something that would make you go wow that unique selling point will sell.

I board was good. I think they could have marketed it better too. Its a Swiss ball but its less scary. You ain't going to fall off it and its not so intimidatingly high off the ground. Plus the portability. Thats how they should have been pitched it.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 8, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Like many episodes, tonight the board room bits seemed to completely ignore (what the editing made it seem) was the key point at which the task was won or lost, which was when James said 'keep it simple' and the others ignored him.



Indeed, I agree.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 9, 2009)

Btw i thought James managed well. In the real world he would have been able to have said thats crap. Take it back and get them to do it again properly.

In this program they don't get given that chance. They get backed into a corner and have to live or die by what a team they delegated responsibility to has done. Its not fair. Its not reflective of real business. But it makes for good telly.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 9, 2009)

I missed it this week, who lost and who got fired?


----------



## maldwyn (Apr 9, 2009)

That winners prize was shit.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 9, 2009)

maldwyn said:


> That winners prize was shit.



It was moving and EMOTIONAL.

And funny.


----------



## clicker (Apr 9, 2009)

weltweit said:


> I missed it this week, who lost and who got fired?



Maj got fired for not contributing....it was mainly the male team plus 2 of the women who had swapped with 2 of the men.

He did well on the aftermath on BBC2...seems like a good guy, not overly bothered he lost, his tactic was to fly under the radar he admitted....Sugar is getting wise to that trick. 

Ben and James were in the boardroom with Maj....firing James would have been like kicking a puppy...Margaret saved him by saying he managed well. Ben should have gone for crimes against chalk stripe suits and overly arched eyebrows. And just being a general twat....but lets hope he gets totally mullered before he goes....


----------



## Miss Potter (Apr 9, 2009)

clicker said:


> Ben should have gone for crimes against chalk stripe suits and overly arched eyebrows. And just being a general twat....but lets hope he gets totally mullered before he goes....



Did you see those soundbites on You're Fired, when he was saying how the American girl was "clinically obese" etc etc. What a wanker. I am so looking forward to the day he gets fired. I hope it's slow and painful 

Phil ftw (although I reserve the right to change my mind further down the line)


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 9, 2009)

maldwyn said:


> That winners prize was shit.



Yeah, the supposed caff of doom looked like the prize after seeing that...


----------



## trashpony (Apr 9, 2009)

maldwyn said:


> That winners prize was shit.



They didn't look thrilled when he told them what it was did they? 

Ben is a funny orange colour so deserves to die for that. And he has no neck, have you noticed? His head is balanced on his shirt collar


----------



## rover07 (Apr 9, 2009)

PMSL at Harry Hill with the Alan Sugar puppet...

'I just pick the one who reminds me of me when i was younger'


----------



## _angel_ (Apr 9, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Yeah, the supposed caff of doom looked like the prize after seeing that...



All the prizes are shit!  I know the girls went apeshit at the chance to play polo, but I would have hated it!!

Can you imagine being the person who owns that greasy spoon "We want your caff to look like a grotty losers den!"


----------



## kabbes (Apr 9, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Like many episodes, tonight the board room bits seemed to completely ignore (what the editing made it seem) was the key point at which the task was won or lost, which was when James said 'keep it simple' and the others ignored him.


Swot I was going to say.  And it was Maj who was chiefly responsible for taking it away from keeping it simple, as it was him that started going on about the need to put ropes and things all over it.

So the right person went but for the wrong reason.


----------



## Upchuck (Apr 9, 2009)

That Debra displayed all that is wrong with modern Britain when she refused to understand Yasmina's logic about using both Mona and Noorul as models for the exercise equipment.  Her silly outburst showed me all I needed to know.  Debra is an unreasonable menace


----------



## _angel_ (Apr 9, 2009)

I wouldn't have assumed, or even thought, they were 'looking like they were running a black only campaign' or whatever the logic went tbh.


----------



## rover07 (Apr 9, 2009)

Noorul didnt look very sporty which is what Jasmina and Mona were really saying.


----------



## Upchuck (Apr 9, 2009)

rover07 said:


> Noorul didnt look very sporty which is what Jasmina and Mona were really saying.



^^ this, but also the mix did not reflect the mix of the team either.


----------



## DotCommunist (Apr 9, 2009)

OK first I've seen of the new series.

The deep crevasses in Srallans face are fascinating. And he is still a cunt.

The winners prize was indeed bargain basement. I'd have payed not to hear yet another murdered version of Hallelujah.

Sad to see Noorul go, I was loving his crafted beard action.


----------



## Upchuck (Apr 9, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> OK first I've seen of the new series.
> 
> The deep crevasses in Srallans face are fascinating. And he is still a cunt.
> 
> ...



Maj went innit  the other non-white guy


----------



## DotCommunist (Apr 9, 2009)

Upchuck said:


> Maj went innit  the other non-white guy



oh right- I am hazy on all the names still- who was Gormless Man? you know team leader of the losers?


----------



## beeboo (Apr 9, 2009)

Marius said:


> I thought the bingo wing buster was a good concept. .



It was definitely a strong concept, but they completely lost sight of it.

Whereas the other team started out with a weak concept and built it into a strong one.

Good episode this week. 

I'm not seeing any strong candidates yet - I reckon Philip is standing out so far, but they all seem to have their weaknesses.

The only one of the girls who has made any real impact on me so far is Debra, and that's for being dreadful.


----------



## Miss Potter (Apr 9, 2009)

Upchuck said:


> Debra is an unreasonable menace



excellent phrase, I shall use that one. Have you got it copyrighted?


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 9, 2009)

Upchuck said:


> That Debra displayed all that is wrong with modern Britain when she refused to understand Yasmina's logic about using both Mona and Noorul as models for the exercise equipment.  Her silly outburst showed me all I needed to know.  Debra is an unreasonable menace



Debra is a borderline psychopath.

I just looked at the website, and I didn't even recognise Jasmina, who seemed quite pleasant this week, as the woman who had a restaurant and was the team leader the other week. Had she changed her hair?

I'm really bad at recognising people -- they should make them wear distinctive costumes or have weird hairstyles. Like that Katie Hopkins from the last series -- luminous beret every week.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 9, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Debra is a borderline psychopath.
> 
> I just looked at the website, and I didn't even recognise Jasmina, who seemed quite pleasant this week, as the woman who had a restaurant and was the team leader the other week. Had she changed her hair?
> 
> I'm really bad at recognising people -- they should make them wear distinctive costumes or have weird hairstyles. Like that Katie Hopkins from the last series -- luminous beret every week.



Beret lady was my favourite. I loved her. At least, I think I did. Was she the one with the driving gloves too?


----------



## trashpony (Apr 9, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Debra is a borderline psychopath.
> 
> I just looked at the website, and I didn't even recognise Jasmina, who seemed quite pleasant this week, as the woman who had a restaurant and was the team leader the other week. Had she changed her hair?
> 
> I'm really bad at recognising people -- they should make them wear distinctive costumes or have weird hairstyles. Like that Katie Hopkins from the last series -- luminous beret every week.



No, that was Lucinda with the berets. Katie Hopkins was the one with the red lipstick and psycho eyes


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 9, 2009)

trashpony said:


> No, that was Lucinda with the berets. Katie Hopkins was the one with the red lipstick and psycho eyes



You're right, of course. I got that completely wrong!


----------



## lemontop (Apr 9, 2009)

trashpony said:


> No, that was Lucinda with the berets. Katie Hopkins was the one with the red lipstick and psycho eyes



and the white power suits!


----------



## Onslow (Apr 9, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> That geordie fella is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO geordie
> 
> I fancy him a bit



ewwwwwww! so do I


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

So, Keele's very own Paula is project manager this week. And they're at Lush's production factory! I predict an interesting episode ahead


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

oh dear


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> So, Keele's very own Paula is project manager this week. And they're at Lush's production factory! I predict an interesting episode ahead



WHAT? 

The ginger one is a Keele-ite?


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Apr 15, 2009)

I can't wait to see just how they all manage to fuck this one up


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> WHAT?
> 
> The ginger one is a Keele-ite?



Indeed. And Mr Paw sort of knows her, and his bezzy mate knew her quite well, they did the same course.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Indeed. And Mr Paw sort of knows her, and his bezzy mate knew her quite well, they did the same course.



ooooooo!


----------



## trashpony (Apr 15, 2009)

I can't bear squealing


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Paula has exactly the same Walsall accent as somebody I went to Keele with.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Paula's team is doing quite well so far. They're going to lose.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 15, 2009)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> I can't wait to see just how they all manage to fuck this one up



not if but when.


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 15, 2009)

i'm not sure quite what relevance collecting honey or seaweed would have to the world of big buisness...


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Paula's team is doing quite well so far. They're going to lose.



heh.

The leader of the other team looks useless, but Paula's team are not keeping an eye on costs.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Cedarwood v Sandlewood. Fail.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 15, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> That geordie fella is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO geordie
> 
> I fancy him a bit



Even without his makeup?


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Oh dear. Paula - you're fired.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Cedarwood v Sandlewood. Fail.



their maths is a bit shaky and all.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Cedarwood v Sandlewood. Fail.



That is what a Keele education does for you.

If only we had a perfume CSP.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> That is what a Keele education does for you.
> 
> If only we had a perfume CSP.



We clearly need a % vs grams CSP.

*facepalm*


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> We clearly need a % vs grams CSP.
> 
> *facepalm*



She cant help it. She is from Walsall, after all. 

*pity*


----------



## aqua (Apr 15, 2009)

600g of sandalwood


----------



## wiskey (Apr 15, 2009)

I quite like the smell of sandalwood.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

aqua said:


> 600g of sandalwood



OMG I know!!

I actually covered my face with my hands. Just O. M. G.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Apr 15, 2009)

"I'm not screaming"

He says, screaming


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 15, 2009)

OMG I'm totally loving this.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Nural is a sack of shit. But I can't get past this sandalwood thing. God, the boardroom is going to be excellent 

Nick on their case now


----------



## brix (Apr 15, 2009)

wiskey said:


> I quite like the smell of sandalwood.




I love the smell of Sandalwood too, but I had no idea it was so expensive


----------



## wiskey (Apr 15, 2009)

shit indeed


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

LOL

That is funny.


----------



## Augie March (Apr 15, 2009)

Hahahahahaha!


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

LOL!

Fucking great stuff! 

However, since I have a bias towards Paula I hope Yasmina gets the chop for it and not her. But I don't think it's likely.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 15, 2009)

Yes it was all their fault and not yours at all, you little squirt.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Keele produces another winner.


----------



## brix (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Nural is a sack of shit. But I can't get past this sandalwood thing. God, the boardroom is going to be excellent
> 
> Nick on their case now



It doesn't really matter how bad Nural is really, since he almost certainly isn't going to be on the losing team


----------



## trashpony (Apr 15, 2009)

How can you be *quite *that bad at maths?


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Pricey product, where do you try to sell it? Next to a burger van. Nice.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

They might be selling well.

But the profit margin between the two teams is going to decide it.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Hmm, well Nick seems impressed with their sales, which is nice.

Nural couldn't sell to a shopaholic.


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 15, 2009)

the basic numeracy issues aside, both teams have done quite well.

But nural's utterly crapola at absolutely everything...


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

I'm telling you - Paula's team, apart from sandalwoodgate, have done really well I reckon.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> I'm telling you - Paula's team, apart from sandalwoodgate, have done really well I reckon.



Agreed.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

I don't think me nerves can take it.

lol


----------



## wiskey (Apr 15, 2009)

trashpony said:


> How can you be *quite *that bad at maths?



scary innit


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Played a fucking blinder with that deal. Nice one.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Apr 15, 2009)

Hmmmm, bit hard to call who's gonna win this one!


----------



## Epico (Apr 15, 2009)

That 400 pound deal might have put them back in it!


----------



## Augie March (Apr 15, 2009)

They made a loss. Oh dear.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

A loss! Shit.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Apr 15, 2009)

Oooooooooooooopsy


----------



## trashpony (Apr 15, 2009)

Oh dear, oh dear


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 15, 2009)

they made a loss? THEY MADE A LOSS??? 

what a bunch of muppets!!


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

heh.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

It's down to Yasmina and Paula I guess. I reckon Paula will go. I think he likes Yasmina.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 15, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> they made a loss? THEY MADE A LOSS???
> 
> what a bunch of muppets!!



TBH I think its actually quite an achievement


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

My friend who knows Paula said he knew that as soon as she went into the boardroom she'd be gone because she'd crumble.


----------



## aqua (Apr 15, 2009)

is paula the one with the gorgeous hair?


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 15, 2009)

aqua said:


> is paula the one with the gorgeous hair?



Curly red hair? Yes.


----------



## aqua (Apr 15, 2009)

she can go but she needs to send me her hair


----------



## tarannau (Apr 15, 2009)

Can't they get rid of that precious and aggressive Scottish pillock? What an unpleasant dufus.


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 15, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Can't they get rid of that precious and aggressive Scottish pillock? What an unpleasant dufus.



is that braces and stubble man? i hate him


----------



## Augie March (Apr 15, 2009)

He wears suspenders. That's reason enough alone to fire him surely?


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 15, 2009)

aqua said:


> she can go but she needs to send me her hair



lovely hair yes, but THAT ACCENT!!!


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Cor, he dunt like Ben today does he!

Throwing us all off the scent of course, so Paula will go.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 15, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Can't they get rid of that precious and aggressive Scottish pillock? What an unpleasant dufus.


Northern Irish, surely?


----------



## tarannau (Apr 15, 2009)

Whoops. Ah well, he's stlll a pillock.


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 15, 2009)

he's a prick


----------



## sleaterkinney (Apr 15, 2009)

It's so nasty.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 15, 2009)

A scholarship to Sandhurst? LOLOLOLOL!


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 15, 2009)

'I've got a scholarship to sandhurst'

lol

twat


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Fucking hell.


----------



## aqua (Apr 15, 2009)

how did he survive that


----------



## wiskey (Apr 15, 2009)

oh well looks like the hair is yours aqua


----------



## sleaterkinney (Apr 15, 2009)

That's rough, the guy's a twat.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 15, 2009)

SHUT UP. God, some people don't know when they should just keep schtum do they? FFS. Nice hair though


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

I now have a personal vendetta against Ben. He's a cocktard, make no mistake.


----------



## Addy (Apr 15, 2009)

Cant belive that Ben stays and Paula goes !!


I know her accent is shit (she works in the same place as my wife), but thats no reason to bin her.


----------



## Augie March (Apr 15, 2009)

Oh well, back to the day job for Paula then.


----------



## tarannau (Apr 15, 2009)

But he'll rip you to pieces in the boardroom if you bring him in. We'll he'd try to, but you could bring him down a peg of two by pinging his braces and slapping his arse on the way out. Cock.


----------



## zoooo (Apr 15, 2009)

What a load of old shite. 
He just makes decisions based on ratings. 
I can't be bothered with it now.


----------



## Miss Potter (Apr 15, 2009)

how the fuck is Ben still there? Yes Paula made a mistake with the costings but she managed the team brilliantly, making good decisions on how to price the stuff up etc. They'd have had a much bigger loss if she hadn't made those decisions.

Ben has to fucking go. Fucking arrogant wanker


----------



## brix (Apr 15, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> 'I've got a scholarship to sandhurst'
> 
> lol
> 
> twat



Innit


----------



## big eejit (Apr 15, 2009)

Ben is a twat but Paula fucked it up big time. He asked about costs and she gave him the wrong information. Goodbye.


----------



## Herbert Read (Apr 15, 2009)

Ben is a cunt.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 15, 2009)

That was ridiculous. If I ever see Ben I will actually find it hard not to shout 'BELLEND' at him. "I was on a scholarship to Sandhurst!' oh who gives a toss you fucking stocky brace-wearing stripey-shirt-from-Officer's-Club BELLEND.

I liked the scary selling techniques.

Shouting 'BUBBLE BATH!' in my face would definitely make me want to buy a product.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 15, 2009)

Oh and Philip getting angry gave me a bit of a boner tbh


----------



## Addy (Apr 15, 2009)

big eejit said:


> Ben is a twat but Paula fucked it up big time. He asked about costs and she gave him the wrong information. Goodbye.


 

No, Ben was busy doing MAN stuff like measuring and mixing.... he didn't partake in his given role at all.


----------



## Miss Potter (Apr 15, 2009)

why do they hold their phones like harmonicas?


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Apr 15, 2009)

I'm actually really annoyed.


----------



## Jon-of-arc (Apr 15, 2009)

just realised that I went to primary school with yasminas brother....


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 15, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> I'm actually really annoyed.



Me too. I like to get annoyed about the important stuff. Global Warming? meh. The Apprentice? FUCK YEAH


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

God, Ben's a fucking nob.

Watching You're fired. Ben's a cunt.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 15, 2009)

Is she the nicest woman that's ever been on the programme?


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 15, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> Is she the nicest woman that's ever been on the programme?



Yes. Because she went to Keele.


----------



## Addy (Apr 15, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Yes. Because she went to Keele.


 
Thats near you innit?
Lewk at my cewk bewk


----------



## tarannau (Apr 15, 2009)

She was sodding stupid though. How the fuck did she consider a raw materials cost of £5 plausible. Hello, earth to team leader.

I wanted Ben to go, but she made a right idjut out of herself


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 15, 2009)

I liked it when Nick asked them about how much sandalwood they had used and Yasmine went _'er well it was fine because the grams and the price.............SHIT'_

HAHAHA


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 15, 2009)

I feel quite sorry for Paula when she did so well but made one big error and meanwhile the other team was such a complete shambles. Oh well, I'm sure she'll do OK out of it...


----------



## liberty (Apr 15, 2009)

I'm sure it has been said 1000 times but I used to love the Apprentice but the decision making just to keep people in that 'make good TV' is beginning to grate.

Paula was a strong leader her main fault not being aggressive and back stabbing.

Ben makes my skin crawl he is a nasty vindictive c**t


----------



## liberty (Apr 15, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I liked it when Nick asked them about how much sandalwood they had used and Yasmine went _'er well it was fine because the grams and the price.............SHIT'_
> 
> HAHAHA



That was a fantastic moment


----------



## janeb (Apr 15, 2009)

aqua said:


> she can go but she needs to send me her hair



There's plenty there for 2, may I have half?

please


----------



## tarannau (Apr 15, 2009)

liberty said:


> Paula was a strong leader her main fault not being aggressive and back stabbing.



I don't buy this. She fucked up big time by not keeping an eye on probably the most important fundamental business control - the costs in.

I think Ben is a fucking loathsome brace-wearing turd, but she was hugely incompetent and careless, foisting off the responsibility onto others and then fluffing the figures herself. It's fine doing the window dressing fun stuff, but if you don't make basic checks like that you have no business staying on the show. Likeable, but she's 29, not some work experience student fresh behind the ears.


----------



## Cobbles (Apr 16, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> the basic numeracy issues aside, both teams have done quite well.
> 
> But nural's utterly crapola at absolutely everything...



He's a teacher - he doesn't have to do well at anything to stay in a job. 

Gawd knows how he made it onto the TV unless someone with a hatred of Science lessons was just itching to watch him crash and burn.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Apr 16, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Me too. I like to get annoyed about the important stuff. Global Warming? meh. The Apprentice? FUCK YEAH



I'm not about to start talking about global warming on an apprentice thread am i?



Anyway, I was annoyed because it was just unfair.  I don't much like unfairness.  I seriously thought that the braces twat would go.


He reminds me of someone my boyfriend works with,  who is also a smug twat.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 16, 2009)

Wasn't cedarwood about £30 a litre?  So 225ml of it (half of 450ml) would have cost about £6.75 -- not too far from the £5 figure being bandied about.

The problem wasn't really a numerical error so much as a categorisation one.  If they had chosen the oil that they had meant to choose then the numbers would have stacked up.  You can afford to be a bit airy-fairy on the details when you're only talking about a difference of a few quid.  They could have been as precise as they liked, but if they were starting from £30 a litre then they were never going to get close to the true answer.

Saying that, Paula's team did make a huge error on numbers, just not the one being spoken about.  They were given a massively unfair heads-up from Nick at the end of day 1 that their costs were much higher than anticipated.  At that point, they needed to ensure that their prices were set accordingly.  They didn't do this, so they made a loss.  They could have sold those soaps from the beginning at £4.50 rather than £3.  50% extra on the sales would have seen them win.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 16, 2009)

I reckon every year there are a couple of contestants chosen for being obviously nice but completely inept


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 16, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> I'm not about to start talking about global warming on an apprentice thread am i?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Er I was laughing at myself, not you you bozo. You said 'I;m annoyed' and I said 'Yeah, I'm seriously annoyed' and make was laughing at myself for being such a loser and getting annoyed about a tv show.

Sorry if you misunderstood.


----------



## tarannau (Apr 16, 2009)

If she just asked Ben once, directly, to check over the figures after the initial briefing then she'd have still been in. And then we'd have been spared the suspender wearing arseface.


She had to go though. She got far too involved in the fun stuff and lacked common sense, not paying enough attention to the fact that the costs just seemed wrong - hell, she was even strangely impressed that the raw materials seemed so cheap.


----------



## jæd (Apr 16, 2009)

kabbes said:


> At that point, they needed to ensure that their prices were set accordingly.  They didn't do this, so they made a loss.  They could have sold those soaps from the beginning at £4.50 rather than £3.  50% extra on the sales would have seen them win.



If they'd sat down after they realised the fuck up and worked the break-even point for each product they'd have been able to work the optimum pricing point to make a decent profit.

But then if they the nous to do that, they wouldn't be on the Apprentice.

It was the Project manager's fuck up, along with Yasmina who was much closer to the Project Leader. They tried to palm it off onto Ben who everyone predicatably hates because he thinks he's a stock broker.

Although the "I have a comission to Sandhurst y'know" may him sound like a prize twat. (But they all are...)


----------



## D'wards (Apr 16, 2009)

If Ben wins i'll send Siralan 100 pounds in an envelope.

He never chooses the nasty ones.

In fact, a couple of series ago when he heard the horse faced one saying "How can you take anyone that orange seriously" about another contestant he said he would never have let her get to the final if he knew she was like that


----------



## kabbes (Apr 16, 2009)

D'wards said:


> In fact, a couple of series ago when he heard the horse faced one saying "How can you take anyone that orange seriously" about another contestant he said he would never have let her get to the final *if he knew she was like that*


That's the point, though.  He doesn't know unless anybody tells him.  He only sees them for a short while once a week.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 16, 2009)

jæd said:


> If they'd sat down after they realised the fuck up and worked the break-even point for each product they'd have been able to work the optimum pricing point to make a decent profit.



The crazy thing was that they said they doubled their proposed price due to Sandalwoodgate - so they must have been planning to sell the stuff for £1.50 each  

I know we probably don't get to see much footage of the teams poring over figures as it doesn't exactly make for rivetting telly, but every single time they seem to dream up a price with no consideration of the their costs or of the going rate for similar products/services.

For bath/beauty products like that there's a clear association between price and quality (ie people will assume something is better simply because it's more expensive).  Plus people like to think they're getting a bargain.  I'd have gone straight in at £5 or £6 an item, and offered discounts on multi-buys.  Then if people weren't biting you could legitimately advertise cut prices - you could have sold for £3 but said it was a 50% discount, which is bound to be more attractive than just saying it was £3 to start with.


----------



## Combustible (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> The crazy thing was that they said they doubled their proposed price due to Sandalwoodgate - so they must have been planning to sell the stuff for £1.50 each



Yes surely they'd have lost anyway.  At one point they said had they gone for the cheaper oil they would have made 100 pounds more than the other team but that must have been assuming the same prices.  But with the other oil they would have been selling for half the price so surely would still have lost.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 16, 2009)

I didn’t quite get why Siralan was having such a go at Ben tbh. Except that the production team knew he’d give good rant.

Yes at the start of the day of the day he was jointly assigned to costs but the roles did organically change. The girls were choosing the ingredients and he was getting stuck into the other work because he would have been a waste of space helping them pick the smellies. 

If she really wanted him to be held responsible for the costs she should have told him to drop what he was doing and be involved in the purchasing. Which she didn’t do and she had Yasmina for that already. 

The girls managed to confuse themselves. If Ben had been involved he would have been doubly confused by them so it would have been a three way mistake not a two way one anyways.

If he’d jumped in at the end to do the sums he still would have made the same mistake they had because they had written down the wrong ingredient and/or base cost. The only way he could have spotted the mistake would have been to have got the fragrance bloke over and said line by line is this unit cost right? Is that unit cost right? Something the girls could have done off their own bat if they were that concerned about costs.

So basically the two girls were to blame and if I had to pick one of the two to fire it would have been Yasmina because Paula has more potential if you ask me. Creatively she was great.
Her biggest mistake was going after her enemy (who only had non-involvement to be criticised for) instead of her friend (who shared the greatest blame).


----------



## Gromit (Apr 16, 2009)

I have to ask…

How the heck did the other team manage to sell all their crap honey goods?

Especially as their project manage couldn’t sell to save his life so they were essentially a man down too. 

Can’t project manage. Can’t sell. What is he doing there?


----------



## jæd (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> For bath/beauty products like that there's a clear association between price and quality (ie people will assume something is better simply because it's more expensive).  Plus people like to think they're getting a bargain.  I'd have gone straight in at £5 or £6 an item, and offered discounts on multi-buys.  Then if people weren't biting you could legitimately advertise cut prices - you could have sold for £3 but said it was a 50% discount, which is bound to be more attractive than just saying it was £3 to start with.



Yep. The only thing that Nooral got right was ignoring Geordie Boy's suggestion to sell one bottle for £1.50., and telling them to sell 2 for £ 3.


----------



## jæd (Apr 16, 2009)

Marius said:


> Her biggest mistake was going after her enemy (who only had non-involvement to be criticised for) instead of her friend (who shared the greatest blame).



If she wanted to go after him a better strategy would be jack prices up to £ 10, and then blame him for not selling enough if they lost.


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> For bath/beauty products like that there's a clear association between price and quality (ie people will assume something is better simply because it's more expensive).  Plus people like to think they're getting a bargain.  I'd have gone straight in at £5 or £6 an item, and offered discounts on multi-buys.  Then if people weren't biting you could legitimately advertise cut prices - you could have sold for £3 but said it was a 50% discount, which is bound to be more attractive than just saying it was £3 to start with.



quite

i was amazed they sold any of the honey stuff when they started appoaching people and offering it for a quid.  it sounds like it will be crap.


fiona came of really, really well on the bbc2 show - but it is true, that if numbers are such a weakness for her she should have delegated them cleanly.  the way she did delegate and then allow different things to happen left her justifiably exposed.


nural's scary.  i bet he's a really shit teacher.


----------



## _angel_ (Apr 16, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> quite
> 
> i was amazed they sold any of the honey stuff when they started appoaching people and offering it for a quid.  it sounds like it will be crap.
> 
> ...



They were practically giving it away at the end - offering3 for a quid???


Two days from product conception to being sold is very fast, I'm sure the mistakes in the costing would have been picked up if it wasn't all so rushed. No product gets put out that fast.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 16, 2009)

_angel_ said:


> They were practically giving it away at the end - offering3 for a quid???



Fair enough though - it was the very end of the day, you're better off with a pound than three bottles of unsold product.  You're only judged on profit - leftover product counts for nought. 

Admittedly, the other team pulled a blinder getting someone to buy all their remaining stock for what appeared to be a decent price.  If it hadn't been for the sandalwood debacle, that would have been what won it for them.  Well, other than the fact that if it hadn't been for the debacle they'd have been selling their product far too cheap to begin with.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 16, 2009)

Incidentally I'm absolutely loving Nick this series - dropping the sandalwood bombshell followed by the casual "well, I'll leave you to it" was wonderful 

Almost as good as his "I made it my business to watch you" line to Noural the other week. mwah-ha-ha.

Forget a job with suralan, I'd be chasing a job with Nick.


----------



## brix (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Incidentally I'm absolutely loving Nick this series - dropping the sandalwood bombshell followed by the casual *"well, I'll leave you to it"* was wonderful
> 
> Almost as good as his "I made it my business to watch you" line to Noural the other week. mwah-ha-ha.
> 
> Forget a job with suralan, I'd be chasing a job with Nick.



I think he said "well (pause), I'll leave that with you" which is even better


----------



## D'wards (Apr 16, 2009)

Combustible said:


> Yes surely they'd have lost anyway.  At one point they said had they gone for the cheaper oil they would have made 100 pounds more than the other team but that must have been assuming the same prices.  But with the other oil they would have been selling for half the price so surely would still have lost.



Thats exactly what i thought, and it totally stands up - looks like Siralan and his cronies are not the Gods they believe they are


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Incidentally I'm absolutely loving Nick this series - dropping the sandalwood bombshell followed by the casual "well, I'll leave you to it" was wonderful



Do do think it was fair to intervene though? If Nick hadn't pointed out the cock-up, they wouldn't have put up their prices to compensate.

If Nural's team had fouled up even more than they did, it might have lead to Paula's team winning, and Nick would have been guilty of winning it for Paula.



Edit: I see that Kabbes has already pointed this out.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 16, 2009)

D'wards said:


> Thats exactly what i thought, and it totally stands up - looks like Siralan and his cronies are not the Gods they believe they are


 
Or they deliberately ignored that fact to rub their noses in it which makes for better telly.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Apr 16, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Er I was laughing at myself, not you you bozo. You said 'I;m annoyed' and I said 'Yeah, I'm seriously annoyed' and make was laughing at myself for being such a loser and getting annoyed about a tv show.
> 
> Sorry if you misunderstood.



Yeah.  Am BOZO! sorrys.

In my defence I had just woke up and was laptopping from my bed.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 16, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> Yeah.  Am BOZO! sorrys.
> 
> In my defence I had just woke up and was laptopping from my bed.



That's okay. It would be pretty rich for me to come on this thread and start asking people to think about global warming.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 16, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Do do think it was fair to intervene though? If Nick hadn't pointed out the cock-up, they wouldn't have put up their prices to compensate.
> 
> If Nural's team had fouled up even more than they did, it might have lead to Paula's team winning, and Nick would have been guilty of winning it for Paula.
> 
> ...



Well arguably the factory staff who was assisting could have pointed it out earlier, when it was still possible to rectify the error, rather than concealing the fact from them for dramatic purposes.

The more I think about it, what I don't really understand is how, even though they doubled their prices from their original plans, further upped their prices during the course of the day and sold off their remainder at what appeared to be a reasonable price, they didn't just not do very well, _they actually made a LOSS_.  How did that happen?  

Obviously for the viewer this upped the drama by making it appear they may have clawed it back, but how did the team themselves not realise they hadn't done nearly enough to make amends for their earlier mistake?   Did no one do even the basic maths to realise that they weren't going to make enough to even cover their costs? 

Why does it always appear to something of a surprise when Nick and Mags reveal how the teams have done.  OK, they don't know how well the other team has done, but they should have an idea that they've made a loss, surely?


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Apr 16, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> That's okay. It would be pretty rich for me to come on this thread and start asking people to think about global warming.



It would have been the most amazing troll tho!


----------



## Cobbles (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Why does it always appear to something of a surprise when Nick and Mags reveal how the teams have done.  OK, they don't know how well the other team has done, but they should have an idea that they've made a loss, surely?



Team sandalwood may have decided that they had priced up their stuff at the highest level that the market would stand and knew in advance that they were heading for a teeny profit (at best - before panic discounting began) or a loss and were living on the presumption that a muppet like Noorul must surely have cocked it up even worse than they did.

Unless the rules dictated that they could only sell "on the street", I don't understand why neither team dedicated some of their "red hot sales" go getters to sell in bulk to retailers rather than relying on mugging the public.


----------



## Santino (Apr 16, 2009)

Cobbles said:


> Unless the rules dictated that they could only sell "on the street", I don't understand why neither team dedicated some of their "red hot sales" go getters to sell in bulk to retailers rather than relying on mugging the public.


There's always loads of rules and guidelines that only become apparent if strictly pertinent to the plot that the director has chosen to tell.


----------



## fen_boy (Apr 16, 2009)

Can someone make up a funny joke about 'Nural Network' please? thanks!


----------



## beeboo (Apr 16, 2009)

Cobbles said:


> Team sandalwood may have decided that they had priced up their stuff at the highest level that the market would stand and knew in advance that they were heading for a teeny profit (at best - before panic discounting began) or a loss and were living on the presumption that a muppet like Noorul must surely have cocked it up even worse than they did.



Maybe you're right, and they edited all that out for dramatic effect - it just seemed that they were pretty pleased with themsleves, despite the fact they must surely have known they had a loss.  



> Unless the rules dictated that they could only sell "on the street", I don't understand why neither team dedicated some of their "red hot sales" go getters to sell in bulk to retailers rather than relying on mugging the public.



I imagine there must have been guidelines on where they could sell.  However, there's always going to be more potential to make money retail than wholesale.  I thought Team Sandalwood were pretty canny in making an arrangement to sell off their remainder wholesale - best of both worlds: sold most of their produce at a good retail price, but ensured they didn't end up with unsold stock.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I thought Team Sandalwood were pretty canny in making an arrangement to sell off their remainder wholesale - best of both worlds: sold most of their produce at a good retail price, but ensured they didn't end up with unsold stock.


 
Did the losing team not do this?

Have they never seen the Apprentice before? Its a standard tactic on this show!!


----------



## beeboo (Apr 16, 2009)

Marius said:


> Did the losing team not do this?
> 
> Have they never seen the Apprentice before? Its a standard tactic on this show!!



yup - that's what i meant, losing Team Sandalwood did it.  I know it's not exactly trail blazing, but it was a better bet than Team Noural's frantic last-minute giveaway.


----------



## Littlelostlamb (Apr 16, 2009)

Jon-of-arc said:


> just realised that I went to primary school with yasminas brother....



Yes and that Yasmina nicked me boyfriend once!


----------



## kabbes (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> yup - that's what i meant, losing Team Sandalwood did it.  I know it's not exactly trail blazing, but it was a better bet than Team Noural's frantic last-minute giveaway.


To be fair, that rather depends on the price that they gave it away for.  £400 (I think it was) sounds like a fairly decent amount.  But how much stock was it?  What was that discount compared with the other team's discount?

In the final analysis, Nural & co. doubled their money whilst Team Sandalwood made a loss.  The director told a story of Nural's incompetance, whilst the other team made a single error and went down fighting.  But when you look more closely at the bare facts, that isn't so clear cut, actually.


----------



## Matt S (Apr 16, 2009)

I love the way that, in most reality shows, the first season is full of vaguely sensible and believable people...and then as it goes on, you just get more and more freaks.

The first season of Big Brother had mostly normal people in it - now it just has total lunatics. Similarly, the Apprentice used to have a few people who might conceivably have made it in business. Now it seems to go for people who wouldn't be able to manage a lemonade stand, let alone a global business....

Matt


----------



## kabbes (Apr 16, 2009)

Matt S said:


> The first season of Big Brother had mostly normal people in it - now it just has total lunatics.


More than that, the first season of BB had genuinely *interesting* people in it.  People that would say things that were worth listening to.  They threw all that away pdq.


----------



## Mitre10 (Apr 16, 2009)

kabbes said:


> That's the point, though.  He doesn't know unless anybody tells him.  He only sees them for a short while once a week.




No, the filming is done over 5-6 weeks so the tasks are done, on average, twice a week. 

Therefore, if the teams are filmed with AMS once at the start of the tasks and once afterwards in the boardroom he encounters them at least 4 times a week during the filming of the series.

The "once a week" tasks just made to look like that due to the telly schedules, otherwise the contestants would be lounging around the house doing nothing for 5 days a week.

I know the above to be true as a friend of mine was a contestant on an earlier series.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 16, 2009)

kabbes said:


> To be fair, that rather depends on the price that they gave it away for.  £400 (I think it was) sounds like a fairly decent amount.  But how much stock was it?  What was that discount compared with the other team's discount?



True, but given the other team ended up giving the last of their product away at 3 for a pound.  It seems unlikely that they had 1200 items left at the end of the day.  

I guess it depends how the deal came about.  If they'd approached a shop earlier in the day and asked them if they'd be interested in buying any remaining stock at the end of the day, then that would be pretty canny, as they'd know they could carry on selling at a high price until late in the day, safe in the knowledge that they'd still be able to shift any leftover stock, rather than having to discount early.

But that might not have been what happened.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 16, 2009)

beeboo said:


> True, but given the other team ended up giving the last of their product away at 3 for a pound.  It seems unlikely that they had 1200 items left at the end of the day.


How many did they sell at 3 for a pound?  Again, we don't know.  Besides, that team's items were ALWAYS lower priced anyway.  In the last hour they went from £2 to £1.50 to £1 to 50p to 33p.  What was the average sale price in that hour?  We don't know.  What was it as a proportion of their stock?  We don't know.  What was the quantity that the other team sold for £400?  We don't know.  What was that as a proportion?  We don't know, although we do know that it consisted of *35% of their total revenue*, which is a big fucking deal!

The point is that we were led to believe that things went a certain way, because they wanted to keep us guessing about who had won.  But maybe, just maybe we were misled.  Maybe the other team did better than was made out, whilst Sandalwood did a whole lot worse.



> I guess it depends how the deal came about.  If they'd approached a shop earlier in the day and asked them if they'd be interested in buying any remaining stock at the end of the day, then that would be pretty canny, as they'd know they could carry on selling at a high price until late in the day, safe in the knowledge that they'd still be able to shift any leftover stock, rather than having to discount early.
> 
> But that might not have been what happened.


I'm willing to bet that it isn't what happened!


----------



## jæd (Apr 16, 2009)

kabbes said:


> How many did they sell at 3 for a pound?  Again, we don't know.  Besides, that team's items were ALWAYS lower priced anyway.  In the last hour they went from £2 to £1.50 to £1 to 50p to 33p.  What was the average sale price in that hour?  We don't know.  What was it as a proportion of their stock?  We don't know.  What was the quantity that the other team sold for £400?  We don't know.  What was that as a proportion?  We don't know, although we do know that it consisted of *35% of their total revenue*, which is a big fucking deal!



I'd guestimate each team sold around 400 units, which I think would be consistent with the number of boxes they had. Of course, we don't know the break-down of soap bars vs shampoo...


----------



## kabbes (Apr 16, 2009)

My point is that for all the vaunted success of the salesmanship of Team Sandalwood, their turnover was £1100 to Team Honey's £1000.  That ain't much difference, given the higher price point of Sandalwood's product.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 17, 2009)

Mitre10 said:


> No, the filming is done over 5-6 weeks so the tasks are done, on average, twice a week.
> 
> The "once a week" tasks just made to look like that due to the telly schedules, otherwise the contestants would be lounging around the house doing nothing for 5 days a week.
> 
> I know the above to be true as a friend of mine was a contestant on an earlier series.



Presumably the tasks take a bit longer than they imply on the show as well??? For example, for the exercise one, did the designers/makers really work through the night to have those complex exercise prototype things ready next morning?


----------



## Voley (Apr 17, 2009)

I hope that angry git bloke that got dragged into the boardroom goes next. He's a proper nasty piece of work. Even Srrralan seems to think he's a bit cutthroat. I reckon they're hanging on to him to let the audience get really pissed of with him before the great sacking. 

Ahhhh, I love this programme. It's great for venting your spleen at the telly.


----------



## Chester Copperpot (Apr 17, 2009)

Marius said:


> I didn’t quite get why Siralan was having such a go at Ben tbh. Except that the production team knew he’d give good rant.
> 
> Yes at the start of the day of the day he was jointly assigned to costs but the roles did organically change. The girls were choosing the ingredients and he was getting stuck into the other work because he would have been a waste of space helping them pick the smellies.
> 
> ...




Agree with all of that. Ben maybe a utter, utter cunt but Suralan was right not to fire him. Ultimately the failure of the task came down to Paula and Yasmina who fuck up on the ingredients. Having said that I really can't wait to see Ben get the chop - what a Wanker!!! I think Ben deliberately didn't get involved with the costings, ducking out of the job as he knew that's where the danger lay in the board room if they lost.

You could tell the other team realised they were very lucky to get off. Their team leader was appalling. He'll definitely be going in the next few weeks.


----------



## Santino (Apr 17, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Presumably the tasks take a bit longer than they imply on the show as well??? For example, for the exercise one, did the designers/makers really work through the night to have those complex exercise prototype things ready next morning?


I don't know. On the one hand, I certainly wouldn't put it past the programme makers to dissemble like that, but on the other hand the teams seem so rushed and ill-prepared that I don't think they can have had any extra days to sit and work things out.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Philip


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

The geordie blokes idea is a winner, I reckon. If they do it right.


----------



## Epico (Apr 22, 2009)

Only 10 mins' in and I'm cringing like never before.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 22, 2009)

Pants Man. That's the worst idea EVER


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Its the kind of thing you need to sell to children.


----------



## Epico (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> The geordie blokes idea is a winner, I reckon. If they do it right.



They won't though, will they.

It's embarrassing.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> The geordie blokes idea is a winner, I reckon. If they do it right.





missfran said:


> Pants Man. That's the worst idea EVER


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 22, 2009)

Kids? Dancing in their pants? On TV? That's a BRILLIANT IDEA!


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 22, 2009)

philip is being a total nob!


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 22, 2009)

oh and 'dance in your pants' was a key feature of 'dick and dom in da bungalow'.  it has been done.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 22, 2009)

missfran said:


> Pants Man. That's the worst idea EVER




If pants man wins, I'll eat my pants. Well, maybe.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Oh my god I actually totally would. With Philip. Totally.

I am not proud of this.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Oh my god I actually totally would. With Philip. Totally.
> 
> I am not proud of this.



Sick.

Understandable.

But sick.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

I like his little singing! And his dance!


----------



## Epico (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Oh my god I actually totally would. With Philip. Totally.
> 
> I am not proud of this.



Proud enough to announce it to the world. 

I thought more of you, I really did...


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Epico said:


> Proud enough to announce it to the world.
> 
> I thought more of you, I really did...



I didn't.

I thought less, actually.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 22, 2009)

Pants idea is done by pants team and is pants.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Epico said:


> Proud enough to announce it to the world.
> 
> I thought more of you, I really did...



I'm purging the lust. And I reckon other people are feeling the same too. I reckon. Speak out.



Dillinger4 said:


> I didn't.
> 
> I thought less, actually.



Fuck you and all who sail in you.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

What is wrong with that woman's voice?


----------



## Epico (Apr 22, 2009)

This episode is making me cringe so much it's actually beginning to hurt.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 22, 2009)

Failpants.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Fuck you and all who sail in you.



(((((seamen))))))


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

That Pants team cereal packaging is shit. The 'put your pants on the right way' looks really random and nonsensical.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 22, 2009)

Thank you for my robot


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

You are all wrong. I think the pirateflakes idea is just as bad, if not worse.


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Pants idea is done by pants team and is pants.



I agree. I thought that the alternative idea put forward by the woman with the glasses was a good idea.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Oh god. 

I take back everything I said. I was wrong. _wrong._


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> You are all wrong. I think the pirateflakes idea is just as bad, if not worse.



I don't think the pants idea is that bad actually, it's quit a good gimmicky thing. It's badly executed though.

The parrot pirate is just lamo.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Bone me now Philip.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

what the hell does nural look like?


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

The geordie bloke occasionally looks like a young Richard Nixon.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dovydaitis said:


> what the hell does nural look like?



Is he even there? I never notice him.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Bone me now Philip.



Sick.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 22, 2009)

Ealing! We live there!


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

philip needs shooting!!!!! please!


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

They are all shit. Every single one of them.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Is he even there? I never notice him.



i only spotted him when he put that outfit on


----------



## wiskey (Apr 22, 2009)

I have no idea whats happening


----------



## clicker (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> The geordie bloke occasionally looks like a young Richard Nixon.




But more often he looks/sounds and acts like a complete egomanical twat.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

I think the American is okay.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

The unique selling point? Our green box! It's green! 

Oh good.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> The unique selling point? Our green box! It's green!
> 
> Oh good.



The colour makes the cereal look like sick.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

They both look like own brands. Like the cheapy copies you get. Like Choco Rice.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Mona is Woody McWooderson.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

oh dear, i want to just take Mona out of there!


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Apr 22, 2009)

Yet again,  a nice cup of tea in the cafe looks to be the better option.


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

Hope they get rid of Philip. He's so annoying and it was his crap idea.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I don't think the pants idea is that bad actually, it's quit a good gimmicky thing. It's badly executed though.



I sort of agree that pantsman could have been a good idea if they'd not fucked up the packaging, etc.

However Siralan is never in a million years going to go for a wacky idea, like a monkey playing drums, even if the pantsman package and presentation was excellent.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> I sort of agree that pantsman could have been a good idea if they'd not fucked up the packaging, etc.
> 
> However Siralan is never in a million years going to go for a wacky idea, like a monkey playing drums, even if the pantsman package and presentation was excellent.



No, this is not a programme for creativity. I think that advert was actually quite good, and I reckon kids would find it funnier than that lamo parrot.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

i liked the parrot


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> No, this is not a programme for creativity. I think that advert was actually quite good, and I reckon kids would find it funnier than that lamo parrot.



Yes, that is pretty much what I thought.


----------



## clicker (Apr 22, 2009)

Have a cull now....sack all three...it's only a matter of time anyway.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

please be phillip please be phillip


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dovydaitis said:


> i liked the parrot



The parrot was BORING.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Look at Phillip. He is fucking _pumped._ He cant sit still.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 22, 2009)

I've watched this entire programme and I _still_ don't know whats going on. 

I'm not sure which one of these jokers he should keep tbh - fire the lot!


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

Dont like that American woman. She's so two faced.


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 22, 2009)

just kill them all please siralan


----------



## wiskey (Apr 22, 2009)

T'ra then chuck


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Ha as much as I am in love with Philip, that was totally unfair. He should've gone.


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

Yeah, I think that Philip should have gone as well. I dont like his "bulldozing" tactics.


----------



## blairsh (Apr 22, 2009)

Philip is a mardy little git who kicks off when things don't go his way. Although strangely hes not the one i like the least


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl wants to be bulldozed.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

ypi, Philip needed to go


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> electrogirl wants to be bulldozed.



LOL


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> electrogirl wants to be bulldozed.



and pumped


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

In the face.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

What the fuck was that Wizard of Oz analogy about aswell? It was totally random and out of the blue. Why is he picking on Wizard of Oz?


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

I like Kimberly.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> I like Kimberly.



She's alright. I don't like her new whoofy bouffant hair though.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

She has kind eyes.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> No, this is not a programme for creativity. I think that advert was actually quite good, and I reckon kids would find it funnier than that lamo parrot.



I thought the parrot deserved to win on the overall presentation/ad/box.

But even if pantsman was brilliantly done, yes, Siralan never would have chosen it.

Someone pointed out when they did a similar task on a previous series that SirAlan's idea of an advert is a picture of the product (e.g. a computer), pointing out that it is a bit cheaper than the competitor's models.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> She has kind eyes.



*vom*


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> *vom*



vomgirl.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 22, 2009)

At the end of the day, Phillip seems just about unemployable in a team situation, so it's a bit pointless him staying. He'll probably win.

Am I alone in finding Yasmina and her bad skin strangely attractive?


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> At the end of the day, Phillip seems just about unemployable in a team situation, so it's a bit pointless him staying. He'll probably win.
> 
> Am I alone in finding Yasmina and her bad skin strangely attractive?



I also find her strangely attractive. 

I didn't want to be the first one to admit it.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Jenny Eclair always has to talk about farts and poo and periods.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

I am going to wank over that Philip montage later.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I am going to wank over that Philip montage later.



Are you not wanked out?


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

I haven't been wanking during the show. 

That twatface Ben would put me off my strokes.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Unlucky, electrogirl.


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I am going to wank over that Philip montage later.









Eeeughh!


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Lea said:


> Eeeughh!



Seriously though, he is quite fit. You must admit.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Seriously though, he is quite fit. You must admit.



sick.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> Unlucky, electrogirl.



They are over now. I read it in Heat magazine.


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Seriously though, he is quite fit. You must admit.



The accent doesnt do it for me. Otherwise he's just average.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Lea said:


> The accent doesnt do it for me. Otherwise he's just average.



The accent is HOT. It is one of the hottest things about him. I would like him to say filthy things to me in that accent.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> They are over now. I read it in Heat magazine.



orly? I didn't know that.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 22, 2009)

No EG, you've lost me on this one. Not fit at all.


----------



## Lea (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> The accent is HOT. It is one of the hottest things about him. I would like him to say filthy things to me in that accent.



LOL. If I had him in the sack and he were whispering filthy words in my ear, I'd be cracking up.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> orly? I didn't know that.



Yeah over. O.V.E.R.

Move along now Kate. Nothing to see here.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> The accent is HOT. It is one of the hottest things about him. I would like him to say filthy things to me in that accent.



You do have a point there. 

There is no better accent than geordie for full on filth.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

I love James. He is so weird.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I love James. He is so weird.



I was just going to post that. I hated him in the face at the beginning, such a gormless twat. But these past 2 tasks he's been rather humerous and gormlessly sweet. 

Do you know what he is?

He's a dolt. A lovable dolt.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> I was just going to post that. I hated him in the face at the beginning, such a gormless twat. But these past 2 tasks he's been rather humerous and gormlessly sweet.
> 
> Do you know what he is?
> 
> He's a dolt. A lovable dolt.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Apr 22, 2009)

I speeled humorous rong.


----------



## tommers (Apr 22, 2009)

I feel a bit ill.

Really.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> I was just going to post that. I hated him in the face at the beginning, such a gormless twat. But these past 2 tasks he's been rather humerous and gormlessly sweet.
> 
> Do you know what he is?
> 
> He's a dolt. A lovable dolt.



I had to look up dolt, but yes! That is what he is! 

New word.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 22, 2009)

Team Pants had a concept that would have captured attention but it all went bran flake shaped. It had some potential but as people said SirAlan was never going to buy into anything that left of field.

Treasure flakes was a concept that had logic and was executed well (aside from that dreadful advert) but by god we have pirate themes coming out of our ears. Check the US and i bet that there are tons of pirate cereals. I think it would have faded into the background.

Kate grinned so much at winning that i was waiting for her cheeks to split open.

Phil was a twat. He hammered pants down their throat so he should have been sacked. Shame cause i liked him before, i had him as fav to win. Now its Kate.

The girl who bitched about the concept was proven right so why was she in there? Did SirAlan really think that she should have supported the project? Course he didn't.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 22, 2009)

how can you say Philip is fit??? not at all!!!!!!


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

Dovydaitis said:


> how can you say Philip is fit??? not at all!!!!!!



It is because she is wrong in the head.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> It is because she is wrong in the head.



You said it was 'understandable' earlier so you know what I see, you must do.

Gayer.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> You said it was 'understandable' earlier so you know what I see, you must do.
> 
> Gayer.



I'll give you gayer.


----------



## madamv (Apr 22, 2009)

You lot crease me up

The right decision this week imo.  She was completely bamboozled by Phils pants.     Why didnt Nic or Margo tell Siralan that Lorraine said it was a bad idea from the start and was completely ignored in that respect?  Grrrr

Whats next weeks again?  I cant remember..


----------



## Dillinger4 (Apr 22, 2009)

madamv said:


> You lot crease me up
> 
> The right decision this week imo.  She was completely bamboozled by Phils pants.     Why didnt Nic or Margo tell Siralan that Lorraine said it was a bad idea from the start and was completely ignored in that respect?  Grrrr
> 
> Whats next weeks again?  I cant remember..



They have to like, sell stuff.


----------



## Lakina (Apr 22, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> At the end of the day, Phillip seems just about unemployable in a team situation, so it's a bit pointless him staying. He'll probably win.
> 
> Am I alone in finding Yasmina and her bad skin strangely attractive?



No - so wrong!!!!!!


----------



## Epico (Apr 22, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Am I alone in finding Yasmina and her bad skin strangely attractive?



No - no, you're not - I think she's got a sort of Anna-from-ThisLife appeal... If that's an appeal...


----------



## kabbes (Apr 23, 2009)

My God, I swear some of you watch a different programme to me.

First, let's take the winning team and their pirate parrot.

Was it good?  No, not particularly.  Was it bad?  No.  The advert was terrible, but they aren't being hired to be film directors.  Given the extraordinarily short time they had to work with, they pulled off a credible brand, packaging, mascot and theme.  Kudos to them.  In particular, Kate was a superb manager.  She played to their strengths without allowing them to go off on flights of fancy.  And she stood very firm in answer to the cross-examination.  

You have to remember that we see less than 1% of what goes on, and that only the most sensational stuff.  The fact that her team universally praised her speaks volumes for the true underlying story.  

Speaking of which, we come to James.  I know that they are doing their best to present James as a gormless dolt.  But I see real flashes of insight, creativity and ability to work with others.  And again, I come back to what his fellow contestants think of him.  To a man and woman, since the first week or so, they have all come out praising his creative, logical and emotional intelligence.  I think that says more than 2 minutes of humorous edit.

All in all, I think that the winning team were an unusual success story this week, given the lack of resources and experience they had available.

So, what about the losing team?

They were dreadful.  Truly dreadful.  And two individuals stood out head and shoulders as being dreadful above the rest.

First: Phillip.  My God, he's a difficult person.  He shouts down anybody that says anything that doesn't fit his idea.  Really, really aggressively shouts them down.  And he sulks.  But his ideas only have about a 50/50 hit rate.  So his extremely volatile nature is a disaster.

Then: Kim.  Considering her profession is supposed to be the management of an advertising team, she really did demonstrate all the ways in which not to manage an advertising team.  Most significantly, she completely failed to deal with Phillip.  She just let him run with whatever stupid idea he came up with, never stepping back from it and never considering the opinions of the less vociferous members of the team.  Her time management was appalling.  Her delegation was appalling.  She ignored completely a major feature of the task, which was the packaging.  She didn't deal with discord.  And that's before you even get to her inability to notice that the whole concept was fundamentally nonsensical, plus would never appeal to her stodgy client.

The rest of the team were bad.  but Kim and Phillip were diabolical.  Either of them could have justifably be eliminated, but I think Kim was the right choice given that it was really her management and lack of insight that led to disaster.  Something that was only emphasised by the fact that it was _what she was supposed to be an expert in_.

Interesting that once again the advertising task really sorted out the sheep from the wolves.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 23, 2009)

Lets not forget the curse of its my field of expertise.

Whenever anyone is PM for their special area they always bite the bullet.

Why?

Well because when they do their job normally they are surrounded by other people who know what they are doing. Take them out of that environment and what is normally so familiar becomes alien and familar at the same time and screws them up more that if they were totally out of their comfort zone and self-prepared for that.

Does that make sense? Well its my theory.


----------



## Voley (Apr 23, 2009)

That was a good 'un last night. That Philip nutter definitely should've got the chop but they're keeping him to rile everyone up more I reckon. Same last week - pumping iron man should've gone but hung on by the skin of his teeth.

There'll be an almighty *GIT-OFF* in the last few episodes that'll be ace. 

The American woman was fucking funny when she lost it: rolleyes, facepalms, the lot.  I love The Apprentice. Totally daft but ace programme.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 23, 2009)

On another point, the fact that electrogirl fancies Phillip makes me query her sanity.  He's odious, aggressive, boring and boorish and he doesn't even look pretty.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 23, 2009)

But he wears make-up and owns his own straightners. What woman could resist that?


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Apr 23, 2009)

Epico said:


> No - no, you're not - I think she's got a sort of Anna-from-ThisLife appeal... If that's an appeal...


hmm, i have to confess to be strangely torn about yasmina and thinking gosh she's hot and then feeling dirty and ashamed


----------



## Griff (Apr 23, 2009)

If I had kids, I'd buy them Pants cereal.


----------



## jæd (Apr 23, 2009)

Marius said:


> Lets not forget the curse of its my field of expertise.
> 
> Whenever anyone is PM for their special area they always bite the bullet.
> 
> ...



Its because they are trying to manage a team _and_ do all the work. In real life management rarely do the grunt work and are there to make sure the people doing the work get it done.

The best strategy is to say "I know all of this I'm a xyz wizard. I will be your number # 2.". Or if the project-manager is assigned by Surallan make sure you have a team member assigned as a Time-Keeper.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> In particular, Kate was a superb manager.  She played to their strengths without allowing them to go off on flights of fancy.  And she stood very firm in answer to the cross-examination.



Yes, I was fully prepared to hate the Appleton twins for being so nice looking, but she seems really good. Can't really think of anything bad she's done at all, and she's been quite visible. Well apart from shacking up with that psycho Geordie.


----------



## sumimasen (Apr 23, 2009)

Nice one Kabbes, good summary!


----------



## beeboo (Apr 23, 2009)

We can always rely on Marius and kabbes for the insight and analysis 

(and we can always rely on electrogirl for her bizarre affliction for Philip  )


Whilst Lorraine was rightly questioning the Pantman theme, it didn't help that her suggestion was quite possibly the lamest thing I've ever heard.  Branflakeman?!!  That's not even an idea.  That's just sandwiching the notion of cereal + mascot together in the most literal way possible.

Parrot Pirate, whilst not exactly a creative masterpiece, was at least a solid concept which was carried through into a decent execution (apart from the crummy direction of the ad - I found the low-angle shot of the parrot waving a spoon quite menacing  )

I am starting to love James and his curious analogies.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 23, 2009)

"Feel like a monkey that's learnt to use tools" was a beaut.


----------



## g force (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> My God, I swear some of you watch a different programme to me.
> 
> First, let's take the winning team and their pirate parrot.
> 
> ...




100% correct assessment IMO...you can't claim to be a success in something then demonstrate none of the required skills in a task you should, by rights, win by a distance.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 23, 2009)

> "Feel like a monkey that's learnt to use tools" was a beaut.



It was indeed  

I liked the poignancy of "I feel like I did when my cat died".  Bless 'im.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 23, 2009)

I still think it was a bit of a poison chalice for Kim. 

In creative industries you need people who can focus / lead / give direction to a creative team (who if left by themselves would be a random mess going off in all directions and never seeing things through - generalization). 

But she was given a team of people who all want to be bosses. Phil especially.
She didn't have the charm to win them over. Where assertiveness might work in real life with The apprentice it only starts an assertiveness competiton. 

Kate has charm. That's why she beat the expert. 
Give them both a team of creatives and not contestants and I think Kim would have won. 

Not that I am bothered by her leaving.


----------



## LJo (Apr 23, 2009)

If Kim had known anything about managing creatives she would never have broken the golden rule, established by Siralan in series one.

"Always sit with the Mac man. Stick to the Mac man like shit sticks to a blanket."

Not sitting with Mac man = green box with meaningless messages knocked up in five minutes, allowing Mac man to go to pub early.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 23, 2009)

Marius said:


> "Feel like a monkey that's learnt to use tools" was a beaut.



Yeah, it was a bit low of Adrian Chiles taking the piss out of that on that programme afterwards.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 23, 2009)

LJo said:


> If Kim had known anything about managing creatives she would never have broken the golden rule, established by Siralan in series one.
> 
> "Always sit with the Mac man. Stick to the Mac man like shit sticks to a blanket."
> 
> Not sitting with Mac man = green box with meaningless messages knocked up in five minutes, allowing Mac man to go to pub early.



I'm sure she would have wanted to spend lots of time with the designer but as she was unable to control psycho-Geordie and grumpy-woman-with-designer-glasses, they spent so much time arguing and sulking that they ran out of time.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 23, 2009)

LJo said:


> If Kim had known anything about managing creatives she would never have broken the golden rule, established by Siralan in series one.
> 
> "Always sit with the Mac man. Stick to the Mac man like shit sticks to a blanket."
> 
> Not sitting with Mac man = green box with meaningless messages knocked up in five minutes, allowing Mac man to go to pub early.



Part of your 3 a day. 

I wonder if he did that out of spite. He did sound a bit narked that they weren't coming back. Right fuck em then. I'll make sure that they lose.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 23, 2009)

"Unable to control" was the key though, wasn't it?  Others have managed it.


----------



## jæd (Apr 23, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> I'm sure she would have wanted to spend lots of time with the designer but as she was unable to control psycho-Geordie and grumpy-woman-with-designer-glasses, they spent so much time arguing and sulking that they ran out of time.



Split the team into two parts so that Grumpy Woman and Stupid Man don't cross paths...? Kim lost as soon as she gave responsibility for the box to the designer...


----------



## beeboo (Apr 23, 2009)

Marius said:


> Part of your 3 a day.
> 
> I wonder if he did that out of spite. He did sound a bit narked that they weren't coming back. Right fuck em then. I'll make sure that they lose.



I wondered if that was a mistaken reference to 5 a day or not - Nestle cereals were/are doing a "3-a-day" thing based on portions of wholegrain, although I think they've had to drop it because it was seen as misleading/confusing.

Either way it was part of a completely half-arsed effort on the box.  I'm assuming they must have had some sort of artificial restriction on time which meant they weren't allowed to go back and sit with the designer, as it seemed they just left him to at the end of the day when they weren't doing anything else.


----------



## belboid (Apr 23, 2009)

Marius said:


> Part of your 3 a day.
> 
> I wonder if he did that out of spite. He did sound a bit narked that they weren't coming back. Right fuck em then. I'll make sure that they lose.



I'd have thought he was told explicitly to carry out the contestants' instructions, but no more. Nothing more, just do EXACTLY as they ask. No pro would have turned out such a pile of shite for a real client, not if they wanted to keep their job.


----------



## El Sueno (Apr 23, 2009)

I'm surprised Kim didn't delegate more, eg. the anonymous guys in her team - send a couple of those useless twats over to the graphic designers, thereby giving her some much needed scapegoats when it all went predictably tits-up. Unfortunately she assumed responsibility for the whole task, and seeing as it all began with a God-awful idea from that pathetic, moody, sulky schoolboy twat Philip, she was doomed from the start.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> "Unable to control" was the key though, wasn't it? Others have managed it.


 
True.


----------



## _angel_ (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> "Unable to control" was the key though, wasn't it?  Others have managed it.



Surely an adult should be able to 'control' themselves??


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> "Unable to control" was the key though, wasn't it?  Others have managed it.



Oh yeah. I'm not saying Kim wasn't rubbish, just that she would have realised the importance of sitting down with the designer for as long as possible but her inability to control the team meant it didn't happen. Ran out of time.

Of course it's hard to tell from the edit but Phillip did look fairly unmanageable at times.

Don't understand why she didn't brief someone like Nuraal, etc. to go and brief the designer instead of giving him a instructions down the phone. Maybe it was so late in the day, that there was no time to get there?

At least the right team definitely won this week.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Apr 23, 2009)

I agree that the right team won and the right person went. It's not Kim's fault that nobody in her team came up with a better idea but it is her fault that she couldn't manage her team or the time sufficiently to be able to spend time with the Mac man. If she'd done that and they got a decent looking product, they might still have lost but at least she could honestly say she did everything she needed to do.


----------



## Santino (Apr 23, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Don't understand why she didn't brief someone like Nuraal, etc. to go and brief the designer instead of giving him a instructions down the phone. Maybe it was so late in the day, that there was no time to get there?


They can only have two sub-teams at any one time, no doubt because they only have four filming teams in all. This lead to a problem last series, when everyone in a kitchen had to stop work to pop down to Tesco.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 23, 2009)

Alex B said:


> They can only have two sub-teams at any one time, no doubt because they only have four filming teams in all. This lead to a problem last series, when everyone in a kitchen had to stop work to pop down to Tesco.


But Kim didn't have any subteams, did she?  It seemed that they all went together, from one failed failure to another.


----------



## Santino (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> But Kim didn't have any subteams, did she?  It seemed that they all went together, from one failed failure to another.


What do I look like, some kind of fucking Apprentice expert?


----------



## LJo (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> But Kim didn't have any subteams, did she?  It seemed that they all went together, from one failed failure to another.



Well, yes.

If you claim your job is 'managing creatives', you should know that you don't just 'find' the time to oversee what they're doing. You make it. You ruthlessly claw it out of your day. You prioritise.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 23, 2009)

Just had a look at the Wikipedia page for this series. Phillip was expelled from school for unruly behaviour. What a suprise


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 23, 2009)

there were lots of things we didn't see, like the booking of locations and actors for the shoots.  i guess that's what some of the others were up to some of the time.


----------



## Part 2 (Apr 23, 2009)

Has anyone mentioned the 'prize' Kate's team won. 

I'd pick a brew in a greasy spoon over that load of shite anyday.


----------



## _angel_ (Apr 23, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> Has anyone mentioned the 'prize' Kate's team won.
> 
> I'd pick a brew in a greasy spoon over that load of shite anyday.



All the prizes are shit. I think they're picked as a pisstake so he can watch them pretending to enjoy themselves.

Them pretending to be 'moved' last week was esp hilarious.


----------



## El Sueno (Apr 23, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> Has anyone mentioned the 'prize' Kate's team won.
> 
> I'd pick a brew in a greasy spoon over that load of shite anyday.



Whilst that prize in particular was properly crap, compared to the US version in which Trump would simply offer each contestant $50,000 as an incentive to win, it's a bit more inventive and refreshingly down-to-earth.


----------



## belboid (Apr 23, 2009)

are the idiots allowed to use the internet? I've only seen a couple so far, but on both occasions - and especially with next weeks - it would seem quite plausible to do a fair amount of research on the net before doing anything, about costs, cvompetitors, potential outlets etc, but they always seem to start absolutely from scratch.


----------



## tommers (Apr 23, 2009)

LJo said:


> you don't just 'find' the time to oversee what they're doing. You make it. You ruthlessly claw it out of your day. You prioritise.



You should go on the show.


----------



## Santino (Apr 23, 2009)

belboid said:


> are the idiots allowed to use the internet?


No. This came up a series or two back as well. That's why you seem them using phone directories.


----------



## LJo (Apr 23, 2009)

tommers said:


> You should go on the show.



The reason I love the show so much is that it is entirely populated by the kind of wankers I used to temp for in my former life.

I love seeing them humiliated so, so much. It's a very healthy way of projecting all that hate I used to have to bottle up.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 23, 2009)

kabbes said:


> On another point, the fact that electrogirl fancies Phillip makes me query her sanity.  He's odious, aggressive, boring and boorish and he doesn't even look pretty.



Tbf it was a comment on a slight crush that got a bit out of hand and ended up with me wanting to wank over a montage of his best bits.

The more people dissaproved the more I wanted him.

I would hate him in real life. It's an animal attraction.

'Animal attraction'

I am actually sick.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 23, 2009)

Didn't realise this...




			
				BBC said:
			
		

> How does Sir Alan decide who the winner is?
> 
> Sir Alan decides the winner on the basis of the final task and boardroom.  He makes his decision on the day of the final boardroom.  Because there is a gap between the shoot and transmission (to leave time for editing), there is a concern about keeping the secret of who has won during that time, so as not to spoil it for the viewers.  In order to ensure that the secret is kept, two endings are filmed, and Sir Alan doesn’t reveal his decision of who he has chosen to the finalists and the production team until the day before transmission of the final programme.
> 
> ...


----------



## belboid (Apr 24, 2009)

BBC said:


> As both finalists would not be able to seek employment until after transmission, and they cannot be out of pocket as a result of that, Sir Alan finds both of them temporary jobs somewhere within his group of companies.



well, that bit isn't true according to today's Holy Moly.

Found myself catchung up with all three episodes I missed last night - how a resteraunteur can utter the words 'go for the cheapest ingredients possible' without being humiliated i dont know.  Her restaurant deserves to fail just for that.

And that HR woman was badly done to, should have been useless Ben kicked off.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 24, 2009)

belboid said:


> well, that bit isn't true according to today's Holy Moly.


 
Its true according to my mate who worked in Amstrad and would see both contestants wandering around until the winner was annouced.


----------



## belboid (Apr 24, 2009)

hmmm, who to bgelieve.... your mate or an anonymous contributor to a scurillous internet gossip mag......????

actually, i misread it anyway, of course it's only the two finalists who can't get another job. d'oh!

It is shocking news as to which one of them wasn't in the final two tho


----------



## beeboo (Apr 24, 2009)

belboid said:


> It is shocking news as to which one of them wasn't in the final two tho



What is shocking news?  (although if it is a spoiler, I don't wanna know)


----------



## belboid (Apr 24, 2009)

the story about one of the contestants.  So I wont tell you what or who it was, beyond saying that it was about the single person least likely to be in the final on their showing so far.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 24, 2009)

Spoiler: idle speculation



Nural?!


----------



## belboid (Apr 24, 2009)

you might think that, i couldn't possibly comment


----------



## kabbes (Apr 24, 2009)

No, no spoilers please.  Not even tangentially referred to.  It's hugely unfair, particularly on a thread set up specifically so that those interested in the show can discuss it.  I really wish you hadn't said even what you have said.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 24, 2009)

I've spoilered-out my comment, but actually reading belboid's comments back, I'm not sure if I'm at cross-purposes to what he was actually suggesting, and I think I'll just leave myself confused


----------



## Santino (Apr 24, 2009)

It turns about that MAN is the most evil creature in the galaxy!


----------



## Epico (Apr 29, 2009)

One hour to go!


----------



## SwizzleStiX (Apr 29, 2009)

10 mins more like - skeli=ton to win


----------



## Lakina (Apr 29, 2009)

Quick shot of Ben in his pants - needs a bit of exercise I think.

Philip is really skinny!


----------



## Epico (Apr 29, 2009)

Ben talking about his non-existent Army days already.


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

"Is it in foreign?"


----------



## aqua (Apr 29, 2009)

why would you sell a skeleton in a pub?


----------



## aqua (Apr 29, 2009)

or should I say HOW did he sell that


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

Epico said:


> Ben talking about his non-existent Army days already.



The editing on that was wonderful.  It cut from him saying "I'm a natural leader.  Sandhurst saw that in me which is why they offered me an army scholarship." to him pushing a yellow pages at one of his team and telling them to "phone a couple of fishmongers".

Brilliant


----------



## trashpony (Apr 29, 2009)

LOL - Philip is such a twat


----------



## Epico (Apr 29, 2009)

aqua said:


> or should I say HOW did he sell that



A pub is one of the only places you could sell a skeleton I would think.


----------



## DJ Squelch (Apr 29, 2009)

£60 for a skeleton ha ha. they should of rung the local schools biology depts, I'd of given em £150

Margaret is being extra lovely this episode.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

I think I now hate Phillip more than I do Ben. Possibly. 

I love James.


----------



## aqua (Apr 29, 2009)

and the rug door to door 

as bees says though, whoever looks bad in the edit usually wins though


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

Tell a lie. Ben is a knobhead.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

aqua said:


> and the rug door to door
> 
> as bees says though, whoever looks bad in the edit usually wins though



exactly. It really annoys me.


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> Tell a lie. Ben is a knobhead.



Have you only just come to this conclusion?


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

brix said:


> Have you only just come to this conclusion?



God no!! I was ust wavering between whether or not he is worse than Phillip.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> I think I now hate Phillip more than I do Ben. Possibly.
> 
> I love James.



I have always hated Philip most. It's tricky to decide which of them is most vile though.

I also love James


----------



## 1927 (Apr 29, 2009)

One of the things that always pisses me off about nearly every task is they are all stood round in three piece fucking suites. Surely over three series or whatever it is someone would have had the intelligence to think, "hold on  if I dress down in jeans and stuff, people might take me a bit more seriously and i might avtually do better at the task!". even siralan couldnt fault them for their ingenuity!


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

How did they find a man to buy the rug in the street?


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> God no!! I was ust wavering between whether or not he is worse than Phillip.



Oh OK   They're both arses but Ben is definitely worse innit!  Philip does occasionally give a sense that he is aware of how he comes across (i.e. as an arse) but Ben has *no* idea at all that he isn't totally wonderful.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 29, 2009)

I'm forced to watch the Apprentice but I really don't enjoy it. It's complete fucking idiots, being cringemakingly idiotic, then being humiliated by an idiot. What's fun about that?


----------



## Epico (Apr 29, 2009)

missfran said:


> I'm forced to watch the Apprentice but I really don't enjoy it. It's complete fucking idiots, being cringemakingly idiotic, then being humiliated by an idiot. What's fun about that?



Hmm...that is what I find fun.


----------



## aqua (Apr 29, 2009)

whats not fun about it


----------



## trashpony (Apr 29, 2009)

missfran said:


> I'm forced to watch the Apprentice but I really don't enjoy it. It's complete fucking idiots, being cringemakingly idiotic, then being humiliated by an idiot. What's fun about that?



That's the joy of it surely? They're idiots but they think they're marvellous. It's schadenfreude to the max. 

missfran - do you ever do the signing on cbeebies incidentally? I'm always looking out for you on there


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

Epico said:


> Hmm...that is what I find fun.



^^^ This.  And the fact that they're posh (or think they're posh ) helps.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

Bloody Phillip's team. Boo. Much as I hate Ben, I like the rest of his team.


----------



## Lakina (Apr 29, 2009)

I love Kate's dancing - I wish they all danced like that.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 29, 2009)

It genuinely makes me a bit depressed. Why is this entertainment? We're watching idiots being humiliated. And that's fun, is it? Haha look at them being so incredibly unself-aware and stupid and making fools of themselves on national television for us to laugh at. There's nothing entertaining about it for me.

Sorry, this isn't the thread for that really.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 29, 2009)

What happened? Baby woke up


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

Hmm. Well at least Phillip kind of sort of apologised to Lorraine.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 29, 2009)

trashpony said:


> That's the joy of it surely? They're idiots but they think they're marvellous. It's schadenfreude to the max.
> 
> missfran - do you ever do the signing on cbeebies incidentally? I'm always looking out for you on there



I don't do the signing on ANY programmes  I'm the director who tells the signers what to do and makes sure they're not swearing etc. And I don't work for the BBC.


----------



## aqua (Apr 29, 2009)

so we all enjoy different things - no harm in that is there?

I love it, they chose to go on this show, they haven't been made to do so

do you like things like britains got talent?


----------



## trashpony (Apr 29, 2009)

missfran said:


> I don't do the signing on ANY programmes  I'm the director who tells the signers what to do and makes sure they're not swearing etc. And I don't work for the BBC.



Damn. I reckon you'd be ace on Space Pirates


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

Ben has got to go. What a nob ead!


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 29, 2009)

aqua said:


> so we all enjoy different things - no harm in that is there?
> 
> I love it, they chose to go on this show, they haven't been made to do so
> 
> do you like things like britains got talent?



This isn't something I'm going to continue to argue here, I'm hardly going to get a whole threadful of people who enjoy the Apprentice onside, am I? Nevermind, carry on.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Ben has got to go. What a nob ead!



Nuerol (sp) will go, am sure. He should have gone weeks ago.


----------



## Lakina (Apr 29, 2009)

Some good slagging going on - SAS looks _so _unimpressed!


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> Nuerol (sp) will go, am sure. He should have gone weeks ago.



Fair dos. He does seem to do fuck all and say very little.

I don't like most of then to be honest


----------



## aqua (Apr 29, 2009)

missfran said:


> This isn't something I'm going to continue to argue here, I'm hardly going to get a whole threadful of people who enjoy the Apprentice onside, am I? Nevermind, carry on.


who was starting an arguement? all I was saying was that we're all different


----------



## trashpony (Apr 29, 2009)

James?!  What a fucking twat


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Fair dos. He does seem to do fuck all and say very little.
> 
> I don't like most of then to be honest



I quite like James and Yasmina. Deborah looks meeeean to me.


----------



## Lakina (Apr 29, 2009)

Ben's clearly scared shitless of Debra.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 29, 2009)

oh poor James!!!!!


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 29, 2009)

so, surrallan says 'james!' and ben does a huge, unconvincing U-turn!


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

trashpony said:


> James?!  What a fucking twat



Can't believe he just changed his mind like that too. Makes him look dead weak.


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> I quite like James and Yasmina. Deborah looks meeeean to me.



I'll say.
She's *hard*-faced!


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 29, 2009)

if debra wins im never watching anything BBC again


----------



## Epico (Apr 29, 2009)

I reckon Norul will go. He won't be able to fight this battle.


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> so, surrallan says 'james!' and ben does a huge, unconvincing U-turn!



"It's a very difficult decision surallan."


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

Isn't this the second task ben has lost? Plus he decided to bring james back in blatantly because he thought that'd give him a fighting chance THEN he changed his mind!

What a cunt


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

Norul  reckons he has "balls"! Hahaha!


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

Epico said:


> I reckon Norul will go. He won't be able to fight this battle.



Oh I dunno though - he's putting up a bit of a fight.  This is the most I've ever heard from him


----------



## trashpony (Apr 29, 2009)

Blimey Neural's got some balls at long last


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Isn't this the second task ben has lost? Plus he decided to bring james back in blatantly because he thought that'd give him a fighting chance THEN he changed his mind!
> 
> What a cunt



He must have learnt that sort of tactic while he wasn't at Sandhurst.

I am a big fan of Nick and Margaret this series.


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> I am a big fan of Nick and Margaret this series.



Me too! 

I think ben is scared of the remaining women in the competition tbh


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Me too!
> 
> I think ben is scared of the remaining women in the competition tbh



I'm *terrified* of Deborah.  And that's from the safety of my living room


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

What did Deborah say that upset Alan so much? I didn't hear.


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

brix said:


> I'm *terrified* of Deborah.  And that's from the safety of my living room




Shes a proper bitch int she! Ben needs to fuck off sooner rather than later n'all.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

Hurrah for James!!! 'You're totally spineless and you shat your pants.' Love him.


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

Go James!!!!


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

Quite funny to see James calling Ben spineless at the end there and Ben having no reply.

Go on james!


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> Hurrah for James!!! 'You're totally spineless and you shat your pants.' Love him.



i know!  i could have hugged James when i heard him say that


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Shes a proper bitch int she! Ben needs to fuck off sooner rather than later n'all.



But what did she say??


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> But what did she say??



She was talking to Nick like he was some kind of idiot.


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 29, 2009)

brix said:


> She was talking to Nick like he was some kind of idiot.



Oh yes! Of course, I was distracted at that bit.. Grrrr. No one talks to Nick like that.


----------



## blairsh (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> But what did she say??



Shes just 'orrible, not very nice and a bit vicious. Nothing in particular


----------



## brix (Apr 29, 2009)

milly molly said:


> Oh yes! Of course, I was distracted at that bit.. Grrrr. No one talks to Nick like that.



They just showed it again on You're Fired.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 29, 2009)

Debra is like a rabid dog! doesnt let go, needs putting down and a total bitch


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 29, 2009)

Ben is a total fucking knob. I mean, he is exactly the kind of wanker thicko toff I went to uni with. 

I really wish I could meet him, I would make fun of him until he cried.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 29, 2009)

I don't think Debra is actually that bad, I think when someone is blatantly telling lies then it's ahrd not to get worked up. She was rude, but I would find it hard not to get annoyed when someone is taking credit for something that I'd done.


----------



## big eejit (Apr 29, 2009)

First they came for the dullards. Next up are the knobheads. Leaving the true amstrad stormtroopers.


----------



## DexterTCN (Apr 29, 2009)

At the end when suralun was getting Ben to shout out what he's done so suralan could write them down....I got the feeling he was waiting for him to mention Sandhurst.


----------



## Cobbles (Apr 29, 2009)

Well, the teechir is went.

No surprise, apart from how long it took to get rid of the talentless twat.

I'm amazed that anyone from the public sector made it further than week three......


----------



## zoooo (Apr 29, 2009)

DexterTCN said:


> At the end when suralun was getting Ben to shout out what he's done so suralan could write them down....I got the feeling he was waiting for him to mention Sandhurst.



That was so funny!
It would have been beautiful if he had.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 29, 2009)

brix said:


> I'm *terrified* of Deborah.  And that's from the safety of my living room



Yes, she is very scary.

Funny how all of them look a bit scary close up with inches of make-up over their zits.

Bizarre random result this week -- selling a skeleton in a pub to a random person for a good price.

Maybe the best strategy would have been to go a load of pubs and get people totally shit-faced. Is there something in the rules dossier that says you cant?


----------



## Part 2 (Apr 29, 2009)

brix said:


> The editing



The editing is what makes this show beyond anything else. 

Anyone want to chance a guess at the top 3? Mine would be...

James
Kate
Lorraine 

If I hadn't heard something about Kate getting off with Philip I'd say the job was hers. Very little negative has been seen of her. I said this in past series that Sugar is not gonna let negative footage out of someone who he considers a contender.

James is the U75 choice and not surprising, he's like Raef from last series, very likeable and the quip about Ben at the end of the show was piss funny.

Lorraine is this seasons Lucinda, a bit off the wall but seems to have a degree of common sense some of the others are lacking. I'm not altogether sure she makes good telly but  don't think thats what top 3 is about.

As for the rest

Philip is a nob, far too much negative footage of him
Deborah is an arrogant cow who couldn't work with a team
Monah is a bit meh, has communication issues and was a mard arse in the first task.
Ben, bottled it tonight and shown to be a tosser.
Howard I reckon will be next to go, does fuck all
Yasmina, not sure on her, an outside chance perhaps.


----------



## Ms T (Apr 29, 2009)

Did anyone else notice that the pub was the Sun & Doves in Camberwell, just down the road from Urban's spiritual home? 

And Nick said scary Debra was "an exciting young woman".


----------



## Santino (Apr 29, 2009)

James is


----------



## DotCommunist (Apr 29, 2009)

Has srallan removed all the non-whites and strong but not attractive females yet?

come on, it's his MO


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 29, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Has srallan removed all the non-whites and strong but not attractive females yet?
> 
> come on, it's his MO



That is actually bollocks you know.


----------



## DotCommunist (Apr 29, 2009)

Badger and Sayeed beg to differ,

srallan is an old school racist misogynist joo*

*in my opinion 


Hate him and all he stands for. And his twatty assistants who act like fucking capos to his godfather


----------



## Jazzz (Apr 29, 2009)

Syed can say what he likes! Especially up before the judges


----------



## Scaggs (Apr 30, 2009)

I don't know why they even pretend that they are seriously looking for Sugar's apprentice, rather than just making another Big Brother type show. That posh, pretend soldier couldn't get a job in a filling station in real life


----------



## lilli (Apr 30, 2009)

milly molly said:


> Nuerol (sp) will go, am sure. He should have gone weeks ago.



I have called him _Nermal_ for the last few weeks after the grey cat in Garfield! ... He's there but doesn't say a lot and when he did he thought it was _cute_ (in a business sense) without really having a clue! 

Does anyone else think that Howard looks like a _Sad Frog_?


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 30, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Badger and Sayeed beg to differ,
> 
> srallan is an old school racist misogynist joo*
> 
> ...



Racist? How do you explain Tim Campbell winning the Apprentice then?


----------



## _angel_ (Apr 30, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Badger and Sayeed beg to differ,
> 
> srallan is an old school racist misogynist joo*
> 
> ...



I don't know that he is exactly a misogynist but he is clearly sexist.

I've noticed him giving young blokes chances time and again despite being arrogant and fucking up. He doesn't seem to do that with the girls (I don't think that's a totally unusual attitude either)

And he's admitted himself to not wanting to employ mothers. So it'd be okay for any of the blokes to have a kid while they worked for him, but not the women. Which isn't fair.


----------



## Griff (Apr 30, 2009)

I don't know why I watch it, they're all so unlikable and shit at everything.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 30, 2009)

Difficult to analyse, this weeks show is.  Part the mist, we must.

What went wrong?  I'll tell you what the number one utter balls-up was, and it was barely even mentioned: they *didn't read the fucking instructions*.  We got one brief quote that told us that they did have a briefing pack, which they didn't even bother with.

Both teams did utterly shit because both teams interpreted the task as one of generating the highest sales possible.  And yet both teams would have been better off sitting at home and not bothering at all.

Whose fault was this?  All of their faults.  Not a one of them had the nous to RTFM.  The team leaders were the most culpable by dint of their position, but that doesn't let the others off the hook.

So then we look item by item at what specifically went wrong.  Firstly, Team Sandhurst lost out by £100 on the skeleton to Team Dickhead.  But was this really a Team Dickhead win?  Not particularly, they just got outrageously lucky.

Secondly, the rug: a draw.  But Team Sandhurst failed to outscore Team Dickhead despite having two people devoted for most of the day to selling it and _being told by numerous experts that it was an expensive and specialist item_.  WHY didn't James and Yasmina go to one up-market interiors shop in 4 hours?  Why did they spend the whole day going to the same two-bit land o'rugs?  If they'd actually sold that rug properly, they'd have been at least £100 up.  I have to hold two of my favourites -- James and Yasmina -- responsible for this.

Thirdly: Ben's box o'crap, including bicycle and expensive shoes.  He thought, because he didn't RTFM, that he needed to flog them off come-what-may.  So he sold them for nothing.  This utterly killed them.

Oh, so many disasters it's hard to know where to start.  But it all began with not reading the friggin' instructions.  I'd have got rid of Ben because he is consistently useless and it was, after all, his reponsibility to organise his team, which he utterly failed to do.  But I can't argue with the sad sack Nural getting the boot.  The guy is hopeless.  

But Ben is not all there, don't you think?  It's *weird* the way he talks about being under fire.  It makes me a bit worried for his actual sanity.  For real.

I just want to add a few words about Mona.  She has the emotional intelligence of an umbrella and less communication skills than that.  Her ability to turn a pleasant chat into an awkward social FAIL is legendary.  Her teams ALWAYS run into trouble because of her presence.  She's gotta go.  But then, so do: Phillip, Ben, Howard and Deborah.  Who first?  What a mess.

Incidentally, I also immediately raised the question on watching it: why are these people wearing suits?  Do they really have that little social awareness for appropriate context?  Morons.


----------



## Santino (Apr 30, 2009)

kabbes said:


> they *didn't read the fucking instructions*.  We got one brief quote that told us that they did have a briefing pack, which they didn't even bother with.





> Incidentally, I also immediately raised the question on watching it: why are these people wearing suits?  Do they really have that little social awareness for appropriate context?  Morons.


I think the explanation for both these phenomena is the Producers. Yes, the Mel Brooks film. No, I mean the production team. The housemates must be briefed to wear 'business attire' at all times, on the (possibly justified) belief that it makes the show more entertaining. I also suspect that when the production team tell the contestants the nuts and bolts of the task (i.e. after the filmed 'briefing' from Alan) they just wave the instructions vaguely at the teams and give them a short version from their own mouths, thereby increasing the chances that both teams make a monumental fuck up. 

This is all idle speculation, of course.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 30, 2009)

Maybe.  But it is a long way from the first time that a team has come unstuck owing to not reading the instructions.  If you being given messages from a bunch of people who are employed solely to make entertainment out of your failure, you might not want to rely on their accuracy.


----------



## Voley (Apr 30, 2009)

*Major *backstabbing this week. 

Really laughed at Ben's collossal U-turn.


----------



## Santino (Apr 30, 2009)

I loved that bit on 'You're Fired' when James was describing his fears about Nural the Cannibal.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 30, 2009)

Once again Kabbes has got it right. Beat me to it.

No body understood that the task wasn't to sell at any price. Any muppet can sell a £200 rug for £50. Its selling it for £220 that takes the business nounce SirAlan wants.

Its about time we had a task like this instead of one where they throw valuable stock away at basement prices to just get rid before time runs out.

Phil really deserved to lose. Failing to listen and then bleating to the camera that his team member keeps trying to get her point across, then telling her in the cab you hardly mentioned the rug. She also spotted the shoes which seemed to get swept under the rug (sorry).


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 30, 2009)

I think James, Kate, Yasmina and Lorraine are the only possibles

As for the rest:

Philip - confident, overbearing and stupid. Lethal combination. The ability to sell skeleton in pubs and rugs to people on the street is great if you're going to be working in a street market but not for Al's apprentice.

Deborah - bit too fiery. Works in an office environment so probably could do OK.

Monah - erm.

Ben -- bit of a prick.

Howard -- seems like an OK bloke. Haven't seem him do much (missed the one where he was team leader).


----------



## Gromit (Apr 30, 2009)

At the moment I'd only tip Kate to win. I can't think of anyone else worth employing.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 30, 2009)

I think that James is a lot smarter and insightful than they are setting him up to be.  He just has a gormless face.  And Yasmina seems OK.  James and Yasmina work well together, actually, notwithstanding their inability to sell a rug.

Lorraine has no interpersonal skills whatsoever.  I would never employ her.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 30, 2009)

On the subject of Monah...

She has put herself forward to pitch twice now. OMG she can't pitch to save her life.

She writes such dull dull drivel and then stumbles whilst trying to present the drivel she herself wrote. I want to hide my head in my hands when she tries to pitch.

More painful when i know I can pitch 500 time better than her. But then I can't sell for shit so would never attempt to win a place on this show.


----------



## D'wards (Apr 30, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Has srallan removed all the non-whites and strong but not attractive females yet?
> 
> come on, it's his MO



No way in the world - i was discussing with pals if he felt he needs a non-white or non-male cos the last two were white males. You know - tokenism and all that

We all agreed that Srallun would never look at race or sex over talent - would seriously undermine the whole programme if he did, and he claims he hates bullshit merchants, and (positive) discrimination surely comes under that umbrella.


----------



## beeboo (Apr 30, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Both teams did utterly shit because both teams interpreted the task as one of generating the highest sales possible.  And yet both teams would have been better off sitting at home and not bothering at all



I missed some of the detail of the set-up.  Was the actual value only deducted from their sales total on the items they sold, rather than on ALL of the items, regardless of whether they sold them.

So was going round flogging something worth a tenner for £1 actually losing them £9?

Was ANY sale under the market value not worth making?


----------



## jæd (Apr 30, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I missed some of the detail of the set-up.  Was the actual value only deducted from their sales total on the items they sold, rather than on ALL of the items, regardless of whether they sold them.
> 
> So was going round flogging something worth a tenner for £1 actually losing them £9?
> 
> Was ANY sale under the market value not worth making?



Assume they have a carpet worth £ 100. If they sell it for £ 90 they have lost £ 10. If they sold it for £ 110 they make a profit of £10. _The aim is to get back with no loss._ Repeat for all the other items.

A bright team would have just sat there all day and done nothing...


----------



## jæd (Apr 30, 2009)

jæd said:


> A bright team would have just sat there all day and done nothing...



A brighter team would work out which item is most saleable (probably the signed picture) and sell that at a profit.

Oh, I loved Neuural shafting Ben on the way out with his "magazine shots" jibe...


----------



## beeboo (Apr 30, 2009)

jæd said:


> Assume they have a carpet worth £ 100. If they sell it for £ 90 they have lost £ 10. If they sold it for £ 110 they make a profit of £10. _The aim is to get back with no loss._* Repeat for all the other items*.
> 
> A bright team would have just sat there all day and done nothing...



It's the repeat for all items bit I'm not clear on - ie if you don't sell it at all, is your balance £0 or -£100.

ie - is selling an item for less than it is worth worse than not selling it at all.  

This should have created a situation where they spent most of the day carefully researching the value of the products, which surely wouldn't have made for good TV.  Unless as has been suggested, this information was withheld.


----------



## fen_boy (Apr 30, 2009)

Ms T said:


> Did anyone else notice that the pub was the Sun & Doves in Camberwell, just down the road from Urban's spiritual home?
> 
> And Nick said scary Debra was "an exciting young woman".



Yeah, my brother-in-law used to live in the flats opposite.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Apr 30, 2009)

i know, where did that come from with the 'magazine deal'? 

can't wait for next week!


----------



## jæd (Apr 30, 2009)

beeboo said:


> It's the repeat for all items bit I'm not clear on - ie if you don't sell it at all, is your balance £0 or -£100.



My understanding is you still have the item so the if you had a rug worth £ 100 you still have £ 100.



beeboo said:


> ie - is selling an item for less than it is worth worse than not selling it at all.



Yes. Because you have less assets than you started with. (A rug is an asset valued at £100. £ 90 in cash is a (very liquid) asset.)



beeboo said:


> This should have created a situation where they spent most of the day carefully researching the value of the products, which surely wouldn't have made for good TV.  Unless as has been suggested, this information was withheld.



I think all the information is in the instructions, just that these people are all quite stupid. All the tasks are straight-forward. But its boring to see people sit down, plan out their day,  work out product targetting etc.


----------



## Ms T (Apr 30, 2009)

I love kabbes' analysis!  He should be on You're Fired with Adrian Chiles.


----------



## jæd (Apr 30, 2009)

The whole point of this episode is about asset value. Which is why the briefing was in the antique showrooms. Antiques have great value because they are old. Cash often has less value, but it more immediately transferable. (ie liquid).

The problem is the teams thought it was about selling antiques.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 30, 2009)

Ms T said:


> I love kabbes' analysis!  He should be on You're Fired with Adrian Chiles.


I really should.  I'd be better than most of the numpties they actually get on. 

There's generally one person worth listening to, though, numpties aside.  This week it was Alvin Hall.  I heart Alvin Hall.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 30, 2009)

jæd said:


> The whole point of this episode is about asset value. Which is why the briefing was in the antique showrooms. Antiques have great value because they are old. Cash often has less value, but it more immediately transferable. (ie liquid).
> 
> The problem is the teams thought it was about selling antiques.


Producer input or no producer input, they made an assumption that it was a straightforward sales task, with the winner being the team with the most cash.  And it wasn't.  So they learnt a harsh lesson about assumptions.

Or, at least, they would have done had _anybody actually pointed this out to them_.


----------



## Jazzz (Apr 30, 2009)

Alex B said:


> I loved that bit on 'You're Fired' when James was describing his fears about Nural the Cannibal.


'twas fuckin' hilarious


----------



## Gromit (Apr 30, 2009)

The worried face he pulled at the end. Classic.


----------



## jæd (Apr 30, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Producer input or no producer input, they made an assumption that it was a straightforward sales task, with the winner being the team with the most cash.  And it wasn't.  So they learnt a harsh lesson about assumptions.
> 
> Or, at least, they would have done had _anybody actually pointed this out to them_.



Surallan pointed this out to them in the Boardroom. Most of people's lessons about assumptions _are_ harsh.

"The market will always rise"
"I will have a job for life"


----------



## trashpony (Apr 30, 2009)

kabbes said:


> I really should.  I'd be better than most of the numpties they actually get on.
> 
> There's generally one person worth listening to, though, numpties aside.  This week it was Alvin Hall.  I heart Alvin Hall.



I concur with both those points


----------



## STFC (Apr 30, 2009)

The obvious plants annoy me a bit - like the bloke in a pub who had always wanted a skeleton and just happened to have £160 on him. And the other bloke walking down the road who quite happily paid for a big rug he didn't even look at.

Has it always been like this, or are the current lot so useless they have to be spoonfed?


----------



## Gromit (Apr 30, 2009)

Did you see the guy who bought the rug practically running off before they changed their minds? He was legging it at breakneck speed.

I think he was in the rug trade himself and ran straight back to his shop to drop it off.


----------



## Augie March (Apr 30, 2009)

My favourite bit of last nights episode was Ben and Debroah's irrational hatred for people who work in bookshops.

'FUCKING BOOK PEOPLE!'


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Apr 30, 2009)

STFC said:


> The obvious plants annoy me a bit - like the bloke in a pub who had always wanted a skeleton and just happened to have £160 on him. And the other bloke walking down the road who quite happily paid for a big rug he didn't even look at.
> 
> Has it always been like this, or are the current lot so useless they have to be spoonfed?




The pub skeleton bloke - well I can believe that (just). It's just about plausible that someone 'zany' enough to want a skeleton to keep his collection of funny hats on happened to be having a pint in the right London boozer at the right time.

As for the rug bloke - I think that's a case of people seeing a film crew and wanting to be a part of it. This happens a lot I think, for instance the car wash bit - there's no fucking way a serious car hire place would let that bunch of numpties anywhere near their stretch hummers with a bucket and sponge if there wasn't a film crew in tow (and free adverts a-go-go).

And as for the slagging off of 'Book People' wtf!? I think it's nice that someone comes to your work and tries to flog you a load of cheap books.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 30, 2009)

Augie March said:


> My favourite bit of last nights episode was Ben and Debroah's irrational hatred for people who work in bookshops.
> 
> 'FUCKING BOOK PEOPLE!'



ha ha yeah.

'we can't let these fucking BOOK PEOPLE mess us around' like they were some kind of alien life form out to destroy them.



Ben is fucking weird. What is his voice about?!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Apr 30, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Incidentally, I also immediately raised the question on watching it: why are these people wearing suits?  Do they really have that little social awareness for appropriate context?  Morons.



I thinks I can awnser this.

It may be to do with siralun calling them in and going "right get on with it".  I know for a fact that that "executive" appartment is in the no-where end of Acton/Park Royal.  I know because I used to live round there.  Nothing but A roads and business parks for miles and miles, with the odd DIRTY cafe.  I used to walk that cafe when I was walking to the park nearby to play tennis.

I presume  that by the time suralun told them wot the task was, after they all got changed to meet him, that there simply wasn't enough time for them to trapse back across London for the less important task of getting changed again into somthing more "task appropriate".


Spot on with everything else tho.


----------



## Paul Russell (Apr 30, 2009)

Augie March said:


> My favourite bit of last nights episode was Ben and Debroah's irrational hatred for people who work in bookshops.
> 
> 'FUCKING BOOK PEOPLE!'



I'm guessing that with all the zillions of books in various editions every printed those bastard book people have to look online to find the value of the things, which takes a while.

Ben and the horrible Deborah were probably expecting them to give them an instant valuation.

(Sadly a load of those little bookshops on Charing Cross Road are closing down as well.)


----------



## Part 2 (Apr 30, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Ben is fucking weird. What is his voice about?!



I was having a good laugh at his silly voice last night..."If you'll just let me finish!"


----------



## wiskey (Apr 30, 2009)

just watched it. 

christ what numpties. 

I was a bit stunned that Phillip wasn't for the high jump, he scraped that win. 

Who'da thunk someone in the Sun and Doves always wanted a skeleton.


----------



## belboid (May 1, 2009)

That was fun, tho I really must stop watching last thing at night, which means I go to bed working out just where they fucked it up.

Tho that was super-easy this week, it being the simple not understanding the valuation part. should have been a brilliant task, if you had any nous. Odds would overwhelmingly be that one team fucked up on at least one or two of the items and sold them for vastly less than they were worth (or almost all the items in Bens case). So the other team should just have fucked off back to the penthouse and got really pissed all day, confident that they would win by default. Would have fucked suggs off, but what the hell.

The other best bit was the 'Cassandra' moment, everyone (his Sugariness included) trying to give the impression that they knew what Mags was on about when they all clearly had no idea whatsoever.


----------



## Nanker Phelge (May 1, 2009)

belboid said:


> The other best bit was the 'Cassandra' moment, everyone (his Sugariness included) trying to give the impression that they knew what Mags was on about when they all clearly had no idea whatsoever.



My 12 year old got the cassandra moment (He watched Rumblefish a couple of years ago and they reference Cassandra and he asked me to tell him the story. Now everytime we hear the name Cassandra we say 'you know what happend to the people who didn't listen to Cassandra? The greeks got'em)

The look on everyone's face was hilarious at that point in the show. Margaret should throw in this type of thing weekly...


----------



## zoooo (May 1, 2009)

I only understood the Cassandra reference because it was once in a Woody Allen film.

And wasn't it in 12 Monkeys too?

I only know things that I've seen in films.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 3, 2009)

I happened to see it again last night and noticed a very funny juxtaposition that passed me by the first time.

Ben is doing his scary bit to camera about how his Sandhurst potential scholarship means that he can handle guns, bullets, all that sort of stuff.

Next shot: cut to Ben saying something like: "OK, get the Yellow Pages, we need to find the prices for those jellied eels".



Well, it made me laugh...


----------



## brix (May 3, 2009)

Erm...    




brix said:


> The editing on that was wonderful.  It cut from him saying "I'm a natural leader.  Sandhurst saw that in me which is why they offered me an army scholarship." to him pushing a yellow pages at one of his team and telling them to "phone a couple of fishmongers".
> 
> Brilliant


----------



## isvicthere? (May 3, 2009)

Ms T said:


> Did anyone else notice that the pub was the Sun & Doves in Camberwell, just down the road from Urban's spiritual home?



Yes.


----------



## isvicthere? (May 3, 2009)

DotCommunist said:


> Has srallan removed all the non-whites and strong but not attractive females yet?
> 
> come on, it's his MO



Out of the four winners so far, one was black and one was a not-particularly-attractive women. So your theory fails a bit. (And that's without acknowledging that over 90% of the population is white).


----------



## Paul Russell (May 3, 2009)

brix said:


> Erm...



Oh yeah. I must be really slow on the uptake!


----------



## brix (May 3, 2009)

It was a really wonderful bit of editing though, so bears repeating


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

Ben:  "Gateway suggests that it's (pause) a gateway to somewhere.  (pause). D'you know what I mean?"


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 6, 2009)

I'm not watching this shower of shit this week. I just can't bring myself to do it!


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

That sleeping bag suit is GASH! It retails at 89quid! Thats ridiculous!


----------



## wiskey (May 6, 2009)

I missed the first 15mins. can someone give me a run down.


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

Am I the only one watching this then?  

There's been some fantastic moments so far.  I particularly liked Lorraine suggesting that the independent hardware store in Liverpool should order 5-6000 of their cat 'houses', which, she added helpfully "are for cats".

ETA Ah, not the only one, good.


----------



## Lea (May 6, 2009)

I'm watching it but missed the first 10 mins.


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

I like the sleeping bag actually, but wouldn't pay that.

One of the teams should have picked the coat rack I reckon.


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

wiskey said:


> I missed the first 15mins. can someone give me a run down.



Teams have been shown a range of products by young designers.  They've each chosen two and have to try and sell as many as possible to stores.


----------



## wiskey (May 6, 2009)

cat house, limbed sleeping bag and double dog lead (wtf) - whats the other one?


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

wiskey said:


> cat house, limbed sleeping bag and double dog lead (wtf) - whats the other one?



That bike pannier thing.


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

Surely that novelty cat box thing will get ruined aswell seen as its just made of card? None of them appear to be that amazing at selling considering how much they all bang on about being great at it.

This programme is extremely annoying


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

That bike bag thing was supposed to go on the front of the bike waasn't it?


----------



## Lea (May 6, 2009)

I think that Mona's team picked the better products.


----------



## Chairman Meow (May 6, 2009)

I'd like one of those sleeping bags.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 6, 2009)

lol-lipop!   DISASTER!


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

When the woman from Pets at Home asked if the cat playhouses weren't a bit boyish (they're in the shape of a tank, and aeroplane and a fire engine) Yasmina seriously replied that she thought it would work equally well for boy or girl cats


----------



## Lea (May 6, 2009)

Oh dear! Looks like Lorraine is going to get it in the boardroom. sandhurst guy is going to give her a good slapping about setting her up with the big retailers only for her to sell only 50.


----------



## wiskey (May 6, 2009)

Chairman Meow said:


> I'd like one of those sleeping bags.



http://www.lazyboneuk.com/products/SelkBag.html


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

If they *knew* they were going to Heals they should have picked that coat rack!


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

Hurrah. James lives another day!


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

The boardroom should be worth a watch 

Whose going then?


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

blairsh said:


> The boardroom should be worth a watch
> 
> Whose going then?



She can't take Yasmina in, because Yasmina did have some sales.

Ben and Phillip I reckon.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 6, 2009)

Surely it's time for Ben to go?


----------



## Chairman Meow (May 6, 2009)

wiskey said:


> http://www.lazyboneuk.com/products/SelkBag.html



Is it embarassing to say I knew that already?


----------



## Lea (May 6, 2009)

I reckon Lorraine is going to go because the others will gang up on her and bitch about her.


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> Surely it's time for Ben to go?



I reckon Lorraine's for the chop.  That pitching was truly awful.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 6, 2009)

What's the betting that Ben will be all like "Suralun.. I KNOW I can do this task better tahn ANYONE else.. I can with this..blah blah blah"  again?


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> What's the betting that Ben will be all like "Suralun.. I KNOW I can do this task better tahn ANYONE else.. I can with this..blah blah blah"  again?



... and did I mention that Sandhurst offered me a commission?"


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

brix said:


> She can't take Yasmina in, because Yasmina did have some sales.
> 
> Ben and Phillip I reckon.



I hope so. Because then at least one person I don't like will go.


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

I don't reckon she'll bring ben back in. Shame.


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

Lorraine is out of here.


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

blairsh said:


> I don't reckon she'll bring ben back in. Shame.



Philip and blonde girl, I reckon.


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

Phillip  to Lorraine "What did your instinct tell you?" HAHA!

He should really fuck off, more irratating than Ben this week


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

Who is she going to bring back in - the lovebirds?  Pretty clear who they'll gang up on.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 6, 2009)

Does electrogirl still have the hots for Philip?


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 6, 2009)

Philip is acting like a twat. Just like last week and the week before...I wouldn't be surprised to see the back of him.


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

I want one of the sleeping bags though


----------



## Lea (May 6, 2009)

I'll reckon that Lorraine will bring back the love birds.


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

Phillip is quite a cunt isn't he!

Hilarious!


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

Phillip is an aggressive twathead.


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I want one of the sleeping bags though



They really would be excellent for festivals


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

brix said:


> They really would be excellent for festivals



I would just sit around on my sofa in it


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I would just sit around on my sofa in it



*cough*  me too   *cough*


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

See you later phillip!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 6, 2009)

I reckon Ben is going.  He's being too much of a cocky prick.


EDIT:  LOL  pantsman!


----------



## Lea (May 6, 2009)

"She's trouble suralan!"


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

Nick!!


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

"Tell us about Pantsman."

Cue for Phillip to finally slide into a sheepish silence.


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

oooh I'd love it if Ben went, but I still think it'll be Lorraine


sorry, I mean Phil, not Ben.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 6, 2009)

Yay - love seeing Kate stab Philip in the front!


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

Ben's not in the boardroom though? 

ETA, Ah just seen your edit beeboo


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

Wow! She went into slag off Phillip mode as soon as being accused of being close friends. What a knobber.


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

ooh, double firing maybe...


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

brix said:


> Ben's not in the boardroom though?



I was getting names confused, I meant Phil


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 6, 2009)

Byeeeeeeeeeee!


----------



## Lea (May 6, 2009)

Yay, Phillip is a gonna!


----------



## aqua (May 6, 2009)

YAY  the twat got sacked


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

Bye Phillip!  *waves*


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 6, 2009)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!
 Buh bye Philip..

(comiserations electrogirl)


----------



## Orangesanlemons (May 6, 2009)

Jook...


----------



## blairsh (May 6, 2009)

HAHA! All phil could say was "joke". What a bell end!


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

Hahaha! Bye Phil! 


Did you see that, no "thank you for the opportunity", just "it's a joke"


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

Lucky escape for Lorraine I reckon.


----------



## starfish (May 6, 2009)

Yay, bye bye you arrogant big headed arse.


----------



## lizzieloo (May 6, 2009)

I actually whooped and punched the air 

and scared the dogs


----------



## DJ Squelch (May 6, 2009)

Ha Ha Philip. what a cunt.

I'm really starting to like Lorraine now, I think she could win it.


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

"sajoke"

Knob.


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

That's right Phil my boy - they *will* always remember Pantsman!


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

brix said:


> Lucky escape for Lorraine I reckon.



very lucky.  




Her hair really annoys me


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

DJ Squelch said:


> Ha Ha Philip. what a cunt.
> 
> I'm really starting to like Lorraine now, I think she could win it.



I still really don't like her. I like Yasmina and James. I would like them to get together and have fairly inoffensive children.


----------



## brix (May 6, 2009)

beeboo said:


> very lucky.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




She did finally wash it for the boardroom, thankfully.

It looked better when she wore it down I thought.


----------



## wiskey (May 6, 2009)

brix said:


> "Tell us about Pantsman."
> 
> Cue for Phillip to finally slide into a sheepish silence.





pity he's gone he's all we've talked about.


----------



## Scarlette (May 6, 2009)

beeboo said:


> very lucky.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Me too! I was going to say that, but then I deleted it cos I thought I might get told off. I just wish she'd brush it a bit.


----------



## beeboo (May 6, 2009)

brix said:


> She did finally wash it for the boardroom, thankfully.
> 
> It looked better when she wore it down I thought.



Between her and Yasmina, I just want to get their heads over a bath with a bottle of Vosene 

And those are bad highlights, Lorraine would look a lot better with dark hair.


----------



## big eejit (May 6, 2009)

What a twat. He was gone as soon as he was rude to Sralan.


----------



## Chairman Meow (May 6, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Between her and Yasmina, I just want to get their heads over a bath with a bottle of Vosene
> 
> And those are bad highlights, Lorraine would look a lot better with dark hair.



I've been saying the same thing, they look like they need a good shampoo. And I hate criticizing women for their appearance, but FFS!


----------



## Gromit (May 6, 2009)

blairsh said:


> HAHA! All phil could say was "joke". What a bell end!



A very stupid move. SirAlan is a good contact to remain friends with. I now can't see Phil getting his number like some of the losers do.

Task failed on product selection. Group decision yes but the Project manager has final say and responsibility. Amazed that she dodged that bullet. Her Casandra gut failed her there.

Right choice as to who to bring in. Kate had good past record so she was safe despite the fact she belonged there based on the task.

Based on the products available the two contacts SirAlan set up were red herrings as far as I was concerned. The fact he made a big deal of them lowers my respect for him. Some poxy independent DIY store that can't sell 5000 units. Why should they make that a priority. Products DIY related... Some shite ladder thing that wouldn't sell. Some drill thing that made drilling harder than it already is to save you doing a quick vacuum. Pwleeeease!

That designer furniture shop wasn't a big chain either was it?
What was the products for that? Some shite chair thing and a rather nasty coat rack. Sorry they wouldn't have sold either.

Both teams made the right decision on ignoring those markets and finding the best product to go it alone with. Unfortunately slow burner didn't choose the best products.

That lead was by far the best product. Forget the lovers angle. The training kids whilst retaining control angle. That was marvellous. Also people with big dogs, two handlers are better than one. Another angle. Finally the lovers thing. Volla you have a widely marketable product.

At the end of the day though Phil gobbed himself out of a job and good riddance to the gobby shite.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (May 6, 2009)

Marius said:


> SirAlan is a good contact to remain friends with. .


 
His empire really isn't that impressive. Amstrad was sold off.  He has a couple of crappy ventures run by family - Amsair anyone? - and the decidely third-tier IT shop Viglen.

You'd be far better off cosying up to Ruth Badger.


----------



## Gromit (May 6, 2009)

Maurice Picarda said:


> His empire really isn't that impressive. Amstrad was sold off.  He has a couple of crappy ventures run by family - Amsair anyone? - and the decidely third-tier IT shop Viglen.
> 
> You'd be far better off cosying up to Ruth Badger.



Even so he can't still connect you with others who can give you a big hand up. Last series he had a meeting with number ten. He gets invited to all sorts of things cause he is the bigwig off the telly. He has good contacts. The fact he is shit and doesn't use em well doesn't bother me if I can use them too and use them better than him.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 6, 2009)

Philip did quite a bit to redeem himself on Youre Fired, I reckon.


----------



## paulhackett (May 6, 2009)

I can't believe they left in Ruby Wax saying 'Didn't you realise the camera was rolling as you mounted her?' and his mum was in the audience too.


----------



## GoodniteGirl (May 6, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> The accent is HOT. It is one of the hottest things about him. I would like him to say filthy things to me in that accent.



You see I've been lurking and totally with you on the Philip thing, but I also thought he was a total twat in recent episodes.

But the thought of him saying filthy things to me in that accent nearly made me buckle over at my desk. 

He could make as many crumbs as he likes in my bed.

And then fuck me. Lots. Haha.


----------



## electrogirl (May 6, 2009)

GoodniteGirl said:


> You see I've been lurking and totally with you on the Philip thing, but I also thought he was a total twat in recent episodes.
> 
> But the thought of him saying filthy things to me in that accent nearly made me buckle over at my desk.
> 
> ...



I think he is a total twat, I told me friend about my crush and she said 'this is why you shouldn't choose your own boyfriends' hahaa.

But it's deffo the accent, and his coat. His sexy pea coat.

And the fact he is an arrogant knobber.

It's a very confusing thing in my mind.


----------



## Gromit (May 6, 2009)

Good to see the girls' in depth business analysis.

If the lads on here said Kate should win cause she's hot and we'd like to do durty things to her we'd be called misogynists etc.


----------



## electrogirl (May 6, 2009)

Marius said:


> Good to see the girls' in depth business analysis.
> 
> If the lads on here said Kate should win cause she's hot and we'd like to do durty things to her we'd be called misogynists etc.



aw


----------



## electrogirl (May 6, 2009)

I liked Ben saying 'gateway..that means...a gate.. to something' 

And then 'oooooooooh a service station!' from Kate.


----------



## weltweit (May 6, 2009)

Glad to see Phillip go, the manky gobshite that he is !!!


----------



## Part 2 (May 6, 2009)

No way was Phil going anywhere, arrogant wanker.

I did think the relationship thing between them might be Kate's downfall. Still, very little negative been seen of her so she's still in my top 3. 

And I'd fuck her! 

Next weeks looks fun, Howard is going to market Margate to the gay community. I've never been to Margate but I've a feeling this is way off the mark.


----------



## clicker (May 6, 2009)

Good week for Mona and James....Id like either of them in the last three....can't choose between the rest, the blokes can go pronto, and the females are all much in the same style...deborah/kate/yasmine and lorrraine...hungry as hell for the job but likely to piss someone off in a major way any moment.


----------



## ebay sex moomin (May 7, 2009)

brix said:


> When the woman from Pets at Home asked if the cat playhouses weren't a bit boyish (they're in the shape of a tank, and aeroplane and a fire engine) Yasmina seriously replied that she thought it would work equally well for boy or girl cats



on a similar note, I did chuckle at Debra pitching the 'lovers lead' as being aimed at 'the 17 and a half million dogs in this country... and anyone who owns them'

So if the dogs don't buy it, the owners might, yes?


----------



## Epico (May 7, 2009)

Marius said:


> That lead was by far the best product. Forget the lovers angle. The training kids whilst retaining control angle. That was marvellous. Also people with big dogs, two handlers are better than one. Another angle. Finally the lovers thing. Volla you have a widely marketable product.



Agreed. Lorraine, who says she might take longer to make decisions, appeared to dismiss it immediately.

And I reckon the designer of that product was also the one who's own pitch to the groups was the strongest.


----------



## editor (May 7, 2009)

Kate looks the most fun to work with out of that sorry bunch.


----------



## Kaye (May 7, 2009)

Thank god you lot are taking seriously what the editors want you to.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 7, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> Next weeks looks fun, Howard is going to market Margate to the gay community. I've never been to Margate but I've a feeling this is way off the mark.



Cant see SirAlan going for that really.

Not because he's homophobic or anything (!), just that he will probably always go for the dull, safe option when he has a casting vote.


----------



## butterfly child (May 7, 2009)

Epico said:


> Agreed. Lorraine, who says she might take longer to make decisions, appeared to dismiss it immediately.
> 
> And I reckon the designer of that product was also the one who's own pitch to the groups was the strongest.



That lead was a shit item! 

Anyone who buys that is a knobber  I knew Pets at Home would buy them, they sell a huge amount of shit in their stores... 60 different types of lead, wasn't it?


----------



## Gromit (May 7, 2009)

Epico said:


> Agreed. Lorraine, who says she might take longer to make decisions, appeared to dismiss it immediately.
> 
> And I reckon the designer of that product was also the one who's own pitch to the groups was the strongest.



He was quite flirty with the way he demonstrated it which seemed to work well  on them. 

Surprised they didn't borrow some of that.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 7, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Did you see that, no "thank you for the opportunity", just "it's a joke"



SirAlan said something like "showed his true colours" about that, which you can't argue with. Pretty unlikeable character.


----------



## Gromit (May 7, 2009)

True colours? I think it's hard to say that when it's a game show. 

Like Phil himself said:
Exceptional circumstances, with exceptional people under exceptional pressure. I'd be amazed if anyone can manage not to crack under that and act out of character.


----------



## beeboo (May 7, 2009)

Where's Kabbes with his insightful morning-after analysis?


----------



## jæd (May 7, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Where's Kabbes with his insightful morning-after analysis?



In auditions for "You're Fired". Here's mine:

Its not about selling, its about the Prodct and Product Placement. If its about Sales, then its about Sales Strategy. You can either go with Surallan and pick the right products for the stores, or you can go with Mona's strategy of just selling as much as you can yourself. I would have gone with the Xbox Chair (ideal for Heal's) and probably the Drill Tidy thing. Both can then be flogged to stores on Day Two.

Mona's Negotiation Skills: These were shit. When asked for a discount she dropped from £49 to... £48.  At least go to £ 45/40. 

Lorraines Negotiation Skills: Even worse, and tragically, she bigs herself up on camera. She is set for fail.

The Boardroom: The key problem with Team Catbox had was their products were shit. If I was Phil I would have bitched about Lorraine silly choice of products based on her feelings. Instead he let his temper take over. Him and Britney could easily of ganged up on Lorraine...


----------



## Chester Copperpot (May 7, 2009)

Next weeks episode looks great. Can't wait to see how Howard's re-branding of Margate goes!


----------



## beeboo (May 7, 2009)

jæd said:


> In auditions for "You're Fired". Here's mine:
> 
> Its not about selling, its about the Prodct and Product Placement. If its about Sales, then its about Sales Strategy. You can either go with Surallan and pick the right products for the stores, or you can go with Mona's strategy of just selling as much as you can yourself. I would have gone with the Xbox Chair (ideal for Heal's) and probably the Drill Tidy thing. Both can then be flogged to stores on Day Two.



Thing is, I think the products that we saw that were best suited to Heals and the DIY store appeared to be pretty crap.  Neither of the DIY products looked any good.  The xbox chair was very bulky which made me worry whether anyone would order large numbers.  The coat hook was too niche.



> Mona's Negotiation Skills: These were shit. When asked for a discount she dropped from £49 to... £48.  At least go to £ 45/40.



I thought that was pretty genius actually.  I don't know how she managed to get that guy to take so many of those sleeping bag suits for his little army surplus/camping shop.  Some kind of mind trick 



> Lorraines Negotiation Skills: Even worse, and tragically, she bigs herself up on camera. She is set for fail.



One of their major problems seemed to be their complete lack of any sense what a realistic sized order would be - talking in thousands when the best case scenario would have been hundreds.  

Oh and yes her negotation was cringeworthy  - arguing with Yasmina about leading the pitch at the big pet chain, and then fucking it up.


----------



## Santino (May 7, 2009)

beeboo said:


> One of their major problems seemed to be their complete lack of any sense what a realistic sized order would be - talking in thousands when the best case scenario would have been hundreds.


Their research and preparation is nearly always piss-poor. They seem to obsess with presentation skills and 'confidence' and forget how important having facts and your fingertips is.

I loved it yesterday when one of the women said 'That's a very good question. And I'm going to answer it... now' just to play for time.


----------



## beeboo (May 7, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Their research and preparation is nearly always piss-poor. They seem to obsess with presentation skills and 'confidence' and forget how important having facts and your fingertips is.



They didn't seem to have given any consideration to what questions they might be asked at the pitches.  Debra had got her '17.5 million dogs' number from somewhere, but that was as good as it got.


----------



## Gromit (May 7, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Where's Kabbes with his insightful morning-after analysis?



Still sulking at the injustice of Phil's sacking maybe?!


----------



## Santino (May 7, 2009)

He's off somewhere wrestling with his conscience.


----------



## Gromit (May 7, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Thing is, I think the products that we saw that were best suited to Heals and the DIY store appeared to be pretty crap. Neither of the DIY products looked any good. The xbox chair was very bulky which made me worry whether anyone would order large numbers. The coat hook was too niche.


 
Yeah that was my assessment earlier. Those stores weren't huge and the products aimed at those markets were the dreadful. Even if they had sold on day 1 I couldn't have seen large orders and they'd have struggled like hell on day 2.

As for ideal for xbox. He was sat in the flipping floor practically. Any one happy to sit at that level would have been a kid and a kid wouldn't be arsed with the chair they'd just sit on the floor. Who is going to buy it? The kid? Nope. The parent for the kid? Nope. Small market of adults who need to sit on the floor and fancy that chair. Very small market.


----------



## beeboo (May 7, 2009)

Marius said:


> As for ideal for xbox. He was sat in the flipping floor practically. Any one happy to sit at that level would have been a kid and a kid wouldn't be arsed with the chair they'd just sit on the floor.



Mr B sits on the floor when he's playing xbox, and he does rearrange a stack of cushions to create a comfy 'seat' for himself.  

But he wouldn't go anywhere near a big bulky chair ball thing


----------



## Part 2 (May 7, 2009)

beeboo said:


> arguing with Yasmina about leading the pitch at the big pet chain, and then fucking it up.




The argument looked like it was a set up, almost like they'd had those words then been asked to do it again for the camera.


----------



## jæd (May 7, 2009)

Marius said:


> Yeah that was my assessment earlier. Those stores weren't huge and the products aimed at those markets were the dreadful. Even if they had sold on day 1 I couldn't have seen large orders and they'd have struggled like hell on day 2.



Heals is a chain of upmarket department stores around the UK. And I'm pretty sure I've seen them selling similar. The handy thing about the Xbox chair is that its one of the few products they had that didn't need that much explaining.

on Day 2 I would be targetting Games shops, Tech shops (PC World, etc) and upmarket Furniture stores. Pet products can only be sold at Pet stores...


----------



## girasol (May 7, 2009)

jæd said:


> Pet products can only be sold at Pet stores...



And supermarkets!


----------



## LJo (May 7, 2009)

I don't know about anyone else's cats, but when I bring a cardboard box into my house, mine then make a beeline for it so they can claw it into small pieces. 

Hence I would not spend £18 or whatever on a cardboard box for my cats.


----------



## Hellsbells (May 7, 2009)

LJo said:


> I don't know about anyone else's cats, but when I bring a cardboard box into my house, mine then make a beeline for it so they can claw it into small pieces.
> 
> Hence I would not spend £18 or whatever on a cardboard box for my cats.



yep, mine too. Plus cardboard boxes are free. What kind of idiot would spend £18 on one.


----------



## spanglechick (May 7, 2009)

jæd said:


> Heals is a chain of upmarket department stores around the UK. And I'm pretty sure I've seen them selling similar. The handy thing about the Xbox chair is that its one of the few products they had that didn't need that much explaining.
> 
> on Day 2 I would be targetting Games shops, Tech shops (PC World, etc) and upmarket Furniture stores. Pet products can only be sold at Pet stores...



nah, Heal's sells tasteful home stuff.  That ball chair is too gimmicky and from a design asthetic, very mid-ninties. They sell them on Firebox and/or I want one of those.com, which is about right, really.


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (May 7, 2009)

is it wrong that i think i fancy james?!

apparently he's a chess player too. Mmmmmhm. i'd mate his King anyday


----------



## _angel_ (May 7, 2009)

Marius said:


> Yeah that was my assessment earlier. Those stores weren't huge and the products aimed at those markets were the dreadful. Even if they had sold on day 1 I couldn't have seen large orders and they'd have struggled like hell on day 2.
> 
> As for ideal for xbox. He was sat in the flipping floor practically. Any one happy to sit at that level would have been a kid and a kid wouldn't be arsed with the chair they'd just sit on the floor. Who is going to buy it? The kid? Nope. The parent for the kid? Nope. Small market of adults who need to sit on the floor and fancy that chair. Very small market.



I think I'd have picked that seat/ chair thing. It could be used in lots of different settings, not just to people playing x boxes.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 7, 2009)

Srsly....  where is Kabbles??!?


----------



## kabbes (May 8, 2009)

You were kabbless.

Look people, I know it appears that I have nothing in my 9-5 workday life other than Urban, and this is largely true.  But I've been at seminars for the last few days and I wasn't up to composing Apprentice shit on my Blackberry, as tedious as sitting through session #1234523 about the downturn undoubtedly was.

Anyway...

This was certainly an interesting show.  And, as has already been pointed out, there were two prime tactics -- a) Pick products that suited the pitches you already had set up and hope that you could continue to hawk them the next day; or b) Abandon the pitches you already have and rely on being able to outdo them with better products not suited to those clients.  And if you're going to rely on the next day, do it hard.  Don't make a compromise, because you'll still get a pitiful order at best on day #1 but then you won't believe in what you have on day #2.

Mona's team played it perfectly.  They went for option b).  Sugar showed his absolute inflexibility and lack of imagination when he berated them for this.  They knew what they were doing and they picked the best strategy because, as has already been said, there were no really good products that would appeal to the two existing pitches in any case.

I have to hold my hand up here and say that at the time I thought the dog lead was a terrible choice.  The kabbess picked it though.  Her points -- it's a quick impulse buy, dog owners (us included) tend to buy every bloody gimmick going (we have about five leads) and, most crucially, *it takes up virtually no shelf space*.  That means that shop owners can take a punt on buying twenty or so and not worry about how they're going to cram it into their shop.  And indeed, that's exactly what happened.

The sleeping bag was high risk -- an expensive item means that you only need one medium sized order to surge ahead but it's harder to get that order.  And again I have to hold my hand up to something: I'd always insisted that Mona has zero people skills and virtually no communication skills but her negotiating was pitch-perfect.  Here's some of the things I noticed:

1) When asked to drop the price, she offered a marginal improvement only, giving the impression that her first place really was almost rock bottom.  
2) She consistently gave the shop owner the rope to hang himself.  She wasn't making suggestions; instead she was taking advantage of his suggestions.  When he asked for a lower price, she didn't say how many she would want ordered.  So then when he said "and how many would you want for that price?" she was able to double the order size.  I'm sure that she originally intended £48 to apply to the original order size, but she saw the opportunity and went for it.  
3) She didn't give nuffin' for nuffin'.  When he then asked for a lower price again, she upped the order size.  This whole approach gave the impression that the bags were as valuable as she was saying they were.
4) She kept the pressure up.  She didn't um and ah, giving him time to marshall himself.  The pace of the dialogue was high.

In all, it was textbook stuff.  And that one order won her team the task by itself!  After that, everything was a bonus.

It was a team that showed how teamwork should be done.  They came to group decisions by taking all the important suggestions on board.  Issues were raised (Howard did point out that they would be missing out on the pre-existing pitches), discussed and then resolved for a reason.  They were friendly and focussed and they didn't spend their time pointing fingers at each other.  Once again, I think James was the glue that bound them together.  He generates a warmth that makes people want to be together.

So then we come to the losing team.  Whose fault was it?

Much as I think that the boorish Phil always deserves firing, I have to blame Lorraine squarely this week.  Here's a key point that seems to have been missed -- if the combination of Phil, Kate and Ben was a disastrous one, *whose fault was it that they were together*?  Srsly?  The team leader decides how the group is split.  As soon as I saw that she'd shoved that clique together, my hand hit my forehead.  It was obvious that they would be too busy bitching about her to actually focus on winning the task.  She should have taken Ben and Kate and put Yasmina with Phil.  Then she should have used Kate to negotiate, because she has a natural warmth that tends to charm, let Ben organise and focussed herself on coordinating events as team leader.  Yasmina and Phil together, I'm sure, would have made significant progress if left to themself.

Aside from this basic error, the failures of the team included:

* Picking the wrong products, which was wholly Lorraine and her belief in her own "instincts" hype.  The cat box was never going to attract big orders.  And both the kabbess and I immediately saw the same problems with the bike bag that eventually proved its downfall.
* Piss-poor pitching to the big boys, which again was Lorraine's fault.  She was AWFUL at it and yet insisted that she do it all.  (Incidentally, it kind of worked for her -- she could point to the biggest order book; unsurprising since she insisted that she be the one getting the orders!)
* Failure to get appointments, which really was the subteam's failure.  (But then, as said, Lorraine should have seen that coming.)

Finally, I have to make an extra point about the relationship between Lorraine and others in the group.  She, like so many others, has fallen into the trap of thinking that this game show is about winning a task on a weekly basis.  It isn't.  It's about being the last man standing.  The tasks are just one way of achieving this.  But ultimately, it's about being able to emerge as a pack leader.

If all of Phil, Ben and Kate fundamentally didn't want to work with Lorraine, that in itself is an indictment of her interpersonal skills and a suggestion that she should not stay around much longer.  She has completely failed to get people onside, despite knowing that getting people onside is what wins you the game.  She's unlikeable and this is a big failure in any manager.

In all, it was a truly epic bad performance by Lorraine both as team leader specifically and in relationship management throughout the series as a whole.  For that reason, I'd have fired her.

A quick side observation -- I've increasingly been impressed at the manipulative skills of Yasmina.  She manages to simultaneously be in the middle of every task and yet avoid trouble.  She ensures that she plays up enough to the team leader to not be taken into the boardroom, yet not so much that the others think of her as a suckup.  She almost visibly bites her lip when she is getting grief from some hack of a PM (we had the return of the classic "I *am* your boss!" and yet Yasmina somehow let it go).  She'll back up people *just enough* to cause them to argue amongst themselves instead of with her.  She's a bit of a Machiavelli, all in all.  I like her.


----------



## Gromit (May 8, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Here's a key point that seems to have been missed -- if the combination of Phil, Kate and Ben was a disastrous one, *whose fault was it that they were together*? Srsly? The team leader decides how the group is split. As soon as I saw that she'd shoved that clique together, my hand hit my forehead. It was obvious that they would be too busy bitching about her to actually focus on winning the task. She should have taken Ben and Kate and but Yasmina with Phil. Then she should have used Kate to negotiate, because she has a natural warmth that tends to charm, let Ben organise and focussed herself on coordinating events as team leader. Yasmina and Phil together, I'm sure, would have made significant progress if left to themself.


 
Thats a really good point. Thats exactly how the team should have been split and the split she chose instead was to make life easy for herself (no Phil and Ben to argue with, yet she still ended up having an argument ) and make herself look best (no Kate stealing her limelight). Rather than picking the best team to win she was doing damage limitation in case they lost.


----------



## kabbes (May 8, 2009)

Marius said:


> Thats a really good point. Thats exactly how the team should have been split and the split she chose instead was to make life easy for herself (no Phil and Ben to argue with, yet she still ended up having an argument ) and make herself look best (no Kate stealing her limelight). Rather than picking the best team to win she was doing damage limitation in case they lost.


Indeed, she was clearly focussed on ensuring that she could survive even if the team lost.  

Now, there are at least three levels of goal in The Apprentice:

Short term -- win task
Medium term -- survive to next week
Long term -- win show

Lorraine, to give her credit, had realised that the short term goal was the lowest level and her strategy did allow her to achieve the medium term goal at the cost of the short term one.  But in doing so, she completely took her eye off the long term goal.  

And this has been a failure of hers since the beginning.  Without general support from the other candidates, you'll really struggle to show yourself in a good light.  And without demonstrating real leadership skills, you'll struggle to convince Sugar that you should *win*, rather than merely survive another few weeks.


----------



## ymu (May 8, 2009)

I'm going to disagree with you kabbes ... 

Phil deserved to go more. He shouts until he gets his own way, and sulks if he doesn't. He had no intention of taking that task seriously because Lorraine was PM and he was being childish after being told off last week.

This task was about selling and they were all told that they had to get orders. Lorraine gave herself the pitch that she and Yasmina had set up, but she and Yasmina did actually set up a number of pitches - the others got what, one? They weren't trying, on a task where they had been told that everyone was expected to get orders in their books. What?

Lorraine's "instinct" seemed to go a bit fuzzy as soon as it was required to make an actual decision - but was she wrong to split the teams as she did? She couldn't have known that they'd go off on a bitch-fest sabotage trip - she might have been trying to put people who would work well together on the same teams, and avoid giving herself and everyone else a lot of grief by continually clashing with Phil or Kate.

Yes, she has horrible interpersonal skills and there was good cause to sack two people this week, but Phil edged it, IMO.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 8, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Their research and preparation is nearly always piss-poor. They seem to obsess with presentation skills and 'confidence'



Has anyone else noticed that when they do a pitch all the candidate almost always use the phrase

"let me introduce you to [insert chunk of shite here]"


----------



## Paul Russell (May 8, 2009)

brix said:


> When the woman from Pets at Home asked if the cat playhouses weren't a bit boyish (they're in the shape of a tank, and aeroplane and a fire engine) Yasmina seriously replied that she thought it would work equally well for boy or girl cats



Again, I completely missed that.


----------



## kabbes (May 8, 2009)

ymu said:


> I'm going to disagree with you kabbes ...
> 
> Phil deserved to go more. He shouts until he gets his own way, and sulks if he doesn't. He had no intention of taking that task seriously because Lorraine was PM and he was being childish after being told off last week.


Yes, Phil deserved to go too.  I genuinely thought he'd fire them both, actually.



> This task was about selling and they were all told that they had to get orders. Lorraine gave herself the pitch that she and Yasmina had set up, but she and Yasmina did actually set up a number of pitches - the others got what, one? They weren't trying, on a task where they had been told that everyone was expected to get orders in their books. What?
> 
> Lorraine's "instinct" seemed to go a bit fuzzy as soon as it was required to make an actual decision - but was she wrong to split the teams as she did? She couldn't have known that they'd go off on a bitch-fest sabotage trip - she might have been trying to put people who would work well together on the same teams, and avoid giving herself and everyone else a lot of grief by continually clashing with Phil or Kate.


Well somehow *I* knew the moment I saw that she'd put them together that it would be disastrous.  I don't think that it was that hard to see, actually, that putting a little clique together -- especially a clique that has it in for the team leader -- will result in a lack of motivation for that clique to generate success.  

Her arguments were with Phil.  If she'd have gone with Ben and Kate, I don't think that she'd have created more friction than with anybody else (except for fresh beef, of course, which she is always capable of creating).  But putting Phil's buddies alone with Phil was just asking for trouble.



> Yes, she has horrible interpersonal skills and there was good cause to sack two people this week, but Phil edged it, IMO.


Edged it?  Really?  What did he do wrong that Kate and Ben didn't also do?  Was the product selection his fault?  Did he pitch more poorly than Lorraine did?  Did he have the opportunity to sell to all of: some nameless large hardware store, Heals AND Pets at Home just handed to him on a plate and yet screw them all up?  Was he responsible for pulling the team together and getting them going?  Was he responsible for making the key decisions that led to problems?  

Phil is bloody awful and possibly should have gone several times over by now.  But don't let that blind you to just how badly Lorraine screwed up the leadership of this task.


----------



## ymu (May 8, 2009)

I think the telling moment was when Lorraine asked them how many pitches they'd got and they said they couldn't get a foot in the door, when Lorraine and Yasmina had got into four or five places on the same (claimed) number of calls - confirmed by suralun later saying that his people had rung around the same area and got six appointments.

The task this week was all about individual selling skills - they were told that they all had to get orders, noone on "marketing", noone on "product selection" - they were selling. And Phil, Kate, and Ben were too thick to realise it. Or they were shit at selling. Either way, they failed the task. They were the only ones not to get any orders, and the primary responsibility for that lies with Phil.

Had the focus not been on individual order books, I might agree that Lorraine should have gone first. But it was, so Phil had to go.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 8, 2009)

ymu said:


> The task this week was all about individual selling skills - they were told that they all had to get orders, noone on "marketing", noone on "product selection" - they were selling. And Phil, Kate, and Ben were too thick to realise it. Or they were shit at selling. Either way, they failed the task.



Actually, I thought they did a good impression of not really caring that much.


----------



## Orangesanlemons (May 8, 2009)

LJo said:


> I don't know about anyone else's cats, but when I bring a cardboard box into my house, mine then make a beeline for it so they can claw it into small pieces.
> 
> Hence I would not spend £18 or whatever on a cardboard box for my cats.



I actually saw that kitty fire engine thing on sale at "England At Home" (over-priced novelty tat shop) in Brighton lanes today. It looks just as crappy in real life, like a cheap easter egg box or something.
Didn't see a price on it but it did give me a cheap lol.


----------



## jæd (May 8, 2009)

ymu said:


> The task this week was all about individual selling skills - they were told that they all had to get orders, noone on "marketing", noone on "product selection" - they were selling.



Problem is they take Surallen too literally. If they had worked as a team then they would win. If its every man/woman for themselves they lose. A properly working team would be getting leads for each other rather spend their time trying out to compete...

...

I'm amazed no-one stands back and thinks "Hang on, maybe theres more to this task". Oh, and does anyone do any research before they appear on Apprentice...?


----------



## Santino (May 8, 2009)

jæd said:


> Oh, and does anyone do any research before they appear on Apprentice...?


If they do they get weeded out before the series begins to make way for more entertaining candidates.


----------



## beeboo (May 8, 2009)

Excellent, Kabbes is back! 



kabbes said:


> Well somehow *I* knew the moment I saw that she'd put them together that it would be disastrous.  I don't think that it was that hard to see, actually, that putting a little clique together -- especially a clique that has it in for the team leader -- will result in a lack of motivation for that clique to generate success.



I suspect her logic, if indeed she had a logic, in putting those three together is that she was thinking about the individual sales aspect of the task.

The three person sub-team was always going to create fewer oppotunities for individuals to sell, simply because you only get a chance to pitch one time in three.

Lorraine thought she'd have a better chance of bullying Yasmina into letting her take control of the lion's share of pitches than she had with either the argumentative Ben or Phil, or golden-girl Kate.

It's a crap strategy for project management, and your suggestion for how she should have split the team would no doubt have produced better results for team as a whole.

However, given the end result was that Phil got fired for, amongst other things, fucking about and failure to sell, whilst she was able to demonstrate the biggest order book, you could argue her strategy worked.

But you're right in saying that she's not playing the long game - it's a strategy purely predicated on not getting fired, rather than on winning.


----------



## London_Calling (May 8, 2009)

I saw this again yesterday; you sense they don't hold too many MBA's between them and that AMS isn't too concerned about that. 

Not really sure what it's all about because it sure as hell isn't business acumen. Perhaps look at it again to try and fathom this aspect of reality tv.


----------



## kabbes (May 8, 2009)

London_Calling said:


> I saw this again yesterday; you sense they don't hold too many MBA's between them and that AMS isn't too concerned about that.
> 
> Not really sure what it's all about because it sure as hell isn't business acumen. Perhaps look at it again to try and fathom this aspect of reality tv.


It only makes sense if you look at it as a gameshow hung on the skeleton of "business", where "business" is purely a nebulous, populist and ill-defined concept.  It certainly doesn't have anything to do with sound recruitment processes.


----------



## London_Calling (May 9, 2009)

Indeed. It struck me that if the BBC spent more timing showing the goings-on in the house, moved the Boardroom into an extension, had the tasks in the garden and gave int a Geordie voiceover they could call it 'Big Business'.


----------



## _angel_ (May 9, 2009)

London_Calling said:


> I saw this again yesterday; you sense they don't hold too many MBA's between them and that AMS isn't too concerned about that.
> 
> Not really sure what it's all about because it sure as hell isn't business acumen. Perhaps look at it again to try and fathom this aspect of reality tv.



He is incredibly anti-education from what I can pick up.


----------



## ebay sex moomin (May 10, 2009)

this week, adam and joe have both written songs about the apprentice for their 'song wars' item. I prefer Joe's personally- a bittersweet ode to Margaret Mountford, but they're both good- anyway, you can judge for yourself here-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/adamandjoe/song_wars.shtml


----------



## beeboo (May 11, 2009)

"Margaret Mountford...your hair is like a cloud"


----------



## Miss Potter (May 11, 2009)

Orangesanlemons said:


> Didn't see a price on it but it did give me a cheap lol.



a tenner apparently; funnily enough you can also now buy them from Pets at Home. Didn't they turn down the product on the show? Now they're advertising them "as seen on The Apprentice"


----------



## belboid (May 13, 2009)

aah, what a fun episode.  what a bunch of clueless, talentless wankers. With them as one of his managers, another arm of Sugars empire should go bust very quickly. 



kabbes said:


> Well somehow *I* knew the moment I saw that she'd put them together that it would be disastrous.  I don't think that it was that hard to see, actually, that putting a little clique together -- especially a clique that has it in for the team leader -- will result in a lack of motivation for that clique to generate success.


naah, good move on her part, get all the real wankers onto one team, where she suspects either they'll gell well and sell (and hence win he task) or they'll do what they did and not pay it enough attention and fail miserably, thus creating an even better scapegoat than her.



> What did [Phil] do wrong that Kate and Ben didn't also do?  Was the product selection his fault?  Did he pitch more poorly than Lorraine did?  Did he have the opportunity to sell to all of: some nameless large hardware store, Heals AND Pets at Home just handed to him on a plate and yet screw them all up?


he did fuck all, that was the problem, Kate didn't flirt with herself, and Ben just sat their like the gormless knob he is - but he got ONE good lead, so was saved.

His 'pitching' was shite to non-existent, he helped choose the product (and the bag wasn't a bad choice for somewhere like Heals - from where they got an order - tho they _might_ well have done better with something else.)  And then he blew it completely by being an idiotic twat in the boardroom, where the other two knew when to shut up and let his big gob bury himself.

None of them deserve to win anything, but Phil well deserved to be fucked off hardest and fastest.


----------



## kabbes (May 13, 2009)

I may not be able to see it tonight


----------



## Santino (May 13, 2009)

If someone gets fired from The Apprentice when kabbes isn't watching, do they make a sound?


----------



## souljacker (May 13, 2009)

kabbes said:


> I may not be able to see it tonight


 
Its on Thursdays as well, 7-8pm, BBC2

And of course, their is always iPlayer.


----------



## London_Calling (May 13, 2009)

kabbes said:


> I may not be able to see it tonight


Where are you going  the 1960s?


----------



## kabbes (May 13, 2009)

I would like to be able to pop to a decade for a visit.

Anyway, looks like I will be watching tonight after all.  Phew!


----------



## Voley (May 13, 2009)

He must go. Tonight's the night, I reckon.


----------



## Nanker Phelge (May 13, 2009)

NVP said:


> He must go. Tonight's the night, I reckon.



Let's hope so!


----------



## Santino (May 13, 2009)

It's on.


----------



## _pH_ (May 13, 2009)

well I've been working hard to reach me tar-git

to earn a few bob to take me down to mar-git


----------



## Lakina (May 13, 2009)

NVP said:


> He must go. Tonight's the night, I reckon.



No, he'll last forever.


----------



## bouncer_the_dog (May 13, 2009)

gay Margate


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

Deborah's starting as she means to go on


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2009)

James wants to target the "Gay market"

Didn't see that one coming


----------



## zoooo (May 13, 2009)

There's no gays in Kent!
Who knew?


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

zoooo said:


> There's no gays in Kent!
> Who knew?



Not the gay people in Kent that's for sure


----------



## Lea (May 13, 2009)

bouncer_the_dog said:


> gay Margate



Gay Margate I dont think so. It's not quite Brighton.


----------



## zoooo (May 13, 2009)

This is the best series ever...


----------



## _pH_ (May 13, 2009)

Margayt


----------



## wiskey (May 13, 2009)

NVP said:


> He must go. Tonight's the night, I reckon.



I hope so


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

Mona's proper shocked that the idea of Gay Margate is going down just fine with the locals.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 13, 2009)

I've never been to Margate but I know it's a bit run down and Tracey Emin comes from there and they recently had a load of public art. If your were rebranding it, you could go for it being a cool destination rather than an old-fashioned seaside town.


----------



## _pH_ (May 13, 2009)

NVP said:


> He must go. Tonight's the night, I reckon.




he's doing that making a square with your fingers thing.

he must go.

plus neckshot obv.


----------



## Santino (May 13, 2009)

Oh Jesus. Mona.


----------



## Lea (May 13, 2009)

Lorraine reminds me of Olive from On the Buses.


----------



## Ms T (May 13, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> I've never been to Margate but I know it's a bit run down and Tracey Emin comes from there and they recently had a load of public art. If your were rebranding it, you could go for it being a cool destination rather than an old-fashioned seaside town.



That's exactly what I just said.  You need to brand it as the new Brighton - with a much better beach.


----------



## bouncer_the_dog (May 13, 2009)

This episode is like Brass Eye or something...


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 13, 2009)

Ms T said:


> That's exactly what I just said.  You need to brand it as the new Brighton - with a much better beach.


That could be the slogan: Margate is the new Brighton.




Not.


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2009)

Ben keeps doing the framing thing with his fingers! Cock! He MUST go.


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

Lorraine:  "I've never seen text over a photograph, have you?"


----------



## Santino (May 13, 2009)

Lorraine is being heavily featured


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 13, 2009)

brix said:


> Lorraine:  "I've never seen text over a photograph, have you?"



Well she said she's a 'slow burner'...actually I think what she is saying about the poster sounds like sense.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 13, 2009)

I hope the gay team wins and we see the other team in the boardroom. Should be a bloodbath.


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> Well she said she's a 'slow burner'...actually I think what she is saying about the poster sounds like sense.



You can understand what she's saying about the poster?

She seems to be talking nonsense to me, punctuated by her saying loudly, "It's a vision!"


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2009)

brix said:


> You can understand what she's saying about the poster?
> 
> She seems to be talking nonsense to me, punctuated by her saying loudly, "It's a vision!"



Don't forget "It's a concept!"


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Don't forget "It's a concept!"







On the other team Deborah did have the grace to look (very slightly) sheepish then when they pointed out that the poster had too much text on it.  Which is what Howard (is that his name?) was saying.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 13, 2009)

brix said:


> On the other team Deborah did have the grace to look (very slightly) sheepish then when they pointed out that the poster had too much text on it.  Which is what Howard (is that his name?) was saying.


The second time it was pointed out she looked a lot sourer. LOL!


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> The second time it was pointed out she looked a lot sourer. LOL!



She looked uncomfortable, didn't she?


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2009)

I hate Deborah the most. She's a horrible attacking witch of woman. I can't wait til she gets the boot


----------



## wiskey (May 13, 2009)

4/10 is painful


----------



## wiskey (May 13, 2009)

bollox sandhurst boy is still in


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2009)

Mona, James and Deborah back in the boardroom then?


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

(((James)))


----------



## Lakina (May 13, 2009)

wiskey said:


> bollox sandhurst boy is still in



Told you


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

wiskey said:


> bollox sandhurst boy is still in



Wtf is that accent of his?  I can't make it out at all.  Where's he from?


----------



## wiskey (May 13, 2009)

wiki says belfast apparently


----------



## brix (May 13, 2009)

wiskey said:


> wiki says belfast apparently



Oh OK, Belfast mixed heavily with posho.  Yes, I can hear that now. Ta!


----------



## Miss Potter (May 13, 2009)

I reckon she'll take Howard and James with her, but she has to go. Dreadful woman, and Sir Alan's had his eye on her since she had a pop at Nick


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 13, 2009)

Fuck. Why is James turning on Mona?


----------



## Santino (May 13, 2009)

Mona looks vulnerable now.


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2009)

Don't attack Mona attack _Deborah_!


----------



## _pH_ (May 13, 2009)

wiskey said:


> bollox sandhurst boy is still in



yeah. gutted


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 13, 2009)

I think it'll be Debra. Sugar doesn't like her.


----------



## wiskey (May 13, 2009)

James is saving his skin

Deborah is sinking fast too.

I rekkon she'll go


----------



## Lea (May 13, 2009)

deborah to go. She is just too annoying.


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2009)

Lea said:


> deborah to go. She is just too annoying.




This.


----------



## zoooo (May 13, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> Fuck. Why is James turning on Mona?


Because James knows Mona's (allegedly) a bit homophobic. Stuff was cut out, reportedly. :/

I love James so much I think I might burst!


----------



## spanglechick (May 13, 2009)

Mona - "I spoke to a _gay person_!"


----------



## wiskey (May 13, 2009)

blimey


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 13, 2009)

Shit.


----------



## Miss Potter (May 13, 2009)

how the hell did that awful woman survive again? Not happy


----------



## big eejit (May 13, 2009)

Terrible decision. Hatchet faced woman buggered up the marketing material and should have gone.


----------



## bouncer_the_dog (May 13, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> Mona - "I spoke to a _gay person_!"



actually she spoke to Barbara from the League of Gentlemen


----------



## Paul Russell (May 13, 2009)

zoooo said:


> Because James knows Mona's (allegedly) a bit homophobic. Stuff was cut out, reportedly. :/



I think the stuff that was left in sort of implied it though...


----------



## strung out (May 13, 2009)

i thought it was gonna be james getting kicked but mona was my second guess


----------



## tommers (May 13, 2009)

strung_out said:


> i thought it was gonna be james getting kicked but mona was my second guess



there's only three.


----------



## big eejit (May 13, 2009)

Unlucky Mona!


----------



## electrogirl (May 13, 2009)

Those posters that the MarGAY team did were soooooooooo lame. Who chose that fucking font? That font alone was making me sick, let alone all the tiny words. 

They definitely alluded to Mona's homophobia, that bit where she aske the transexual 'what are you at the moment?' I nearly cringed to death right there and then.

I'm now in love with James. It was friendship love before, but now I really sexually love him.


----------



## big eejit (May 13, 2009)

I thought Mona did well with the transvestite, recovering from a bit of a stutter to the point where he was complimenting her on her lovely eyes by the end. While James (turncoat weed) stood with arms crossed behind her looking v uncomfortable at the whole gay thing.


----------



## zoooo (May 13, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I'm now in love with James. It was friendship love before, but now I really sexually love him.



Aw!
I don't sexually love him as yet. I still just want to make him a packed lunch and give him his pocket money.


----------



## strung out (May 13, 2009)

i'd do james


----------



## tommers (May 13, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I'm now in love with James. It was friendship love before, but now I really sexually love him.



You've moved on quick.  Phillip's barely out the door.


----------



## ebay sex moomin (May 13, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> They definitely alluded to Mona's homophobia, that bit where she aske the transexual 'what are you at the moment?' I nearly cringed to death right there and then.


nice edit, but I liked your description of him as a tansexual 

He _was_ a tansexual!

I'm sorry that Debra didn't go. I reckon Siralun's keeping her in as a catalyst.


----------



## London_Calling (May 13, 2009)

The Clangers in suits.


----------



## electrogirl (May 13, 2009)

tommers said:


> You've moved on quick.  Phillip's barely out the door.


Yeah but it's like I'm in a romcom.

I have to fall for the cad who breaks my heart by running off with the hot blonde before realising what was under my nose all along.

Richard Curtis will direct.


In your multiplexes soon.


ebay sex moomin said:


> nice edit, but I liked your description of him as a tansexual
> 
> He _was_ a tansexual!



Ha I should've left it shouldn't I? 

I loved that square thing that Ben Braces kept doing, he loved that! He kept putting it so close to his face it was pointless though. Such a dick.


----------



## Sweaty Betty (May 13, 2009)

who went then??? been watching footy..


----------



## Part 2 (May 13, 2009)

Mona seemed quite nice on the aftershow. 

I'd not go as far as to say she was homophobic from what I saw although she was definitely out of her depth and clearly has no experience of being around gay people.

Kate has it in the bag. The edit shows her in nothing but a positive light.


----------



## ddraig (May 13, 2009)

Sweaty Betty said:


> who went then??? been watching footy..



Mona mate

all white final init


----------



## Sweaty Betty (May 13, 2009)

ddraig said:


> Mona mate
> 
> all white final init



hiya mate--IM HIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got my perm contract today


----------



## ddraig (May 13, 2009)

Sweaty Betty said:


> hiya mate--IM HIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Got my perm contract today



woohoo nice one  
congrats mate! no less than u deserve, they lucky to have yous


----------



## Jazzz (May 13, 2009)

I couldn't see the gay angle working, with it I think they were always going to lose, I think Mona was right there. So I felt a bit bad for her, however it was right she couldn't use that as a defence against assertions that she then contributed poorly.


----------



## Sweaty Betty (May 13, 2009)

ddraig said:


> woohoo nice one
> congrats mate! no less than u deserve, they lucky to have yous



cheers mate- knew youd be chuffed for me


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (May 13, 2009)

big eejit said:


> I thought Mona did well with the transvestite, recovering from a bit of a stutter to the point where he was complimenting her on her lovely eyes by the end. While James (turncoat weed) stood with arms crossed behind her looking v uncomfortable at the whole gay thing.


she didn't, she was awful, she was a transexual and to ask if she's a man was about as rude as it gets. deserved to go for that crass behaviour if nothing else imo.


----------



## jæd (May 13, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> Mona seemed quite nice on the aftershow.
> 
> I'd not go as far as to say she was homophobic from what I saw although she was definitely out of her depth and clearly has no experience of being around gay people.
> 
> Kate has it in the bag. The edit shows her in nothing but a positive light.



I think there was a lot of Mona that was cut that "came out" in the boardroom. 

Interesting news story here : http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/theapprentice/a153210/homophobia-row-hits-the-apprentice.html

"After Ebison suggested rebranding the location as a gay resort, Lewis apparently rejected the idea before admitting that she would not like her six-year-old son to meet a homosexual man.

An insider told the newspaper: "Howard did very well to keep his cool as he was extremely offended. He had to put up with a certain amount of homophobic abuse when he was growing up, so this really upset him.

"The group was stunned that someone as intelligent as Mona could have such old-fashioned views. Even though she was raised in a country with more traditional values, her comments were indefensible."

Show producers are still said to be considering how much of the incident will air amid fears that it could offend viewers."


----------



## electrogirl (May 13, 2009)

I  thought it was really awkward but I think she was just really nervous tbh. I don't know much about the other alleged homophobia but she just seemed a bit awkward at that point, I don't think she meant to be rude.

Do you know what I mean?

eta that was at paulie, i hadn't seen jaeds post


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (May 13, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I  thought it was really awkward but I think she was just really nervous tbh. I don't know much about the other alleged homophobia but she just seemed a bit awkward at that point, I don't think she meant to be rude.
> 
> Do you know what I mean?
> 
> eta that was at paulie, i hadn't seen jaeds post


no to be frank. sometimes people wear their prejudices on their sleeves, as it were. and i think she did.

isn't why she got kicked out per se, but she didn't do herself many favours imo.


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2009)

Debra to go next week ..

Should have been this week, it was her fault the posters were awful and her fault the flyer was not completed and her fault that she lied about the flyer to the punters. 

Plus : 

Debra is a biatch


----------



## clicker (May 13, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> Mona seemed quite nice on the aftershow.
> 
> I'd not go as far as to say she was homophobic from what I saw although she was definitely out of her depth and clearly has no experience of being around gay people.
> 
> Kate has it in the bag. The edit shows her in nothing but a positive light.




So far Kate has been the only one able to talk coherently in front of anyone....for 'high flyers' they are a gibbering mass of ineptness.


----------



## kabbes (May 14, 2009)

The winning team did a solid enough job this week.  And the key was that Yasmina played to their strengths, just as last time she was team leader.  Their concept was uninspired but safe and, really, what else are they going to come up with in the hour or so they have available before they have to commit to an idea?  It's not like they actually know what the town's strengths really are.  Then they executed it professionally and effectively.

She had the smarts to realise that Kate was the best person to do the pitch and was secure enough to allow her to do it.  She let Ben have his day swanning around taking photos and put herself where it really mattered, which was in the production of the materials.  (To be fair, both team leaders avoided the elephant trap of being the photographer themselves, which is where teams normally go wrong in this task.)  She even dealt with Lorraine -- as I mentioned last week, Yasmina is subtly manipulative (in a good way) and manages to absorb the negative energy coming at her without reflecting it back.  She allowed Lorraine to input without destroying.  She did a good job.  

The losing team -- my God, it was a masterclass in how not to do the task at hand.

Firstly, the concept.  It's not that it can't work -- of course it can.  But it was always going to be extremely tricky to pull off.  You need to balance the various sensitivities.  You need to portray a rather nebulous concept in a few concrete images.  And most importantly of all, you need a really in-depth knowledge of *why* Margate should be attractive to the incredibly broad gay demographic.  They really fell down on this last point, because they didn't really have a "why", hence they lost focus.  It was all very well Deborah having a go at James and Mona for the images they produced but what were they supposed to be doing?  They didn't know Margate remotely well enough to be able to capture in one image the reason why gay people should head there.  In short, the concept was far, far too ambitious.

Then, the exectution.  Oh dear.  

The "posters" -- I genuinely have no idea how Deborah managed to get away with this with barely a word spoken.  She BULLDOZED her essay-like posters through the process.  We all saw Howard object to the text.  And yet somehow this completely got through the boardroom?  How?  This was one of the two key areas of fail in this task and it was all Deborah's fault, both in terms of design itself and responsibility as the PM!

The brochure -- Aargh!  How could they not learn from the cereal task!  And it would have been *so easy* just to put a big picture on there.  Once again, this was entirely Deborah's fault!  She designed the bloody thing whilst sticking her fingers in her ears and going lalala.  She point-blank refused to listen to any objections.  And then she blamed the time -- time management was 100% her responsibility!

I don't disagree that over the series, Mona has shown that she is not a strong candidate (aside from one bit of negotiation last week).  But this was *not* the week to get rid of her, when so much clear fault belongs to one individual.  I'll even go so far as to say that I have *never* seen a task failed so much because of just one individual!  By letting Deborah off the hook, they're almost giving the message that the responsibility for the week's task is largely irrelevant to that week's firing.

A final little observation, because I do like to make them.  Howard and Deborah.  Have you noticed that at the end, Howard seemed to be hanging on Deborah's every word?  I wonder if, as a fairly shy and submissive person, he has latched on to a loud and dominant person and become charmed by them.  It would certainly explain why he didn't lay the blame for the task squarely at Deborah's door.


----------



## jæd (May 14, 2009)

kabbes said:


> A final little observation, because I do like to make them.  Howard and Deborah.  Have you noticed that at the end, Howard seemed to be hanging on Deborah's every word?  I wonder if, as a fairly shy and submissive person, he has latched on to a loud and dominant person and become charmed by them.  It would certainly explain why he didn't lay the blame for the task squarely at Deborah's door.



Good analysis. I think Howard didn't say anything because he knew that he was "safe". There was no way Debra could bring him into the boardroom.

Mona deserved to go. One Trick Sales Pony. She admitted she wasn't creative (but seemed to have more idea than Debra). She also doesn't have much life expereience, and if not actually homophobic then she does have lots of prejudice. The way she talked to the woman in the bar was patronising in the extreme. But then I found the commentators in the aftershow also very patronising about trans people...

Debra should go soon. She ballsed up the time management and she completely ignored the two people who knew anything relevent to the task: Howard for the gay market and Mona because she came from Kent...


----------



## beeboo (May 14, 2009)

I'm incredulous as to Debra's team came up with such shockingly poor materials.  What else were they going?  All whilst Yasmina's team manage to produce something which looked perfectly competent.  Did they actually not have a graphic designer working with them or what?


----------



## Gromit (May 14, 2009)

Debra was the worst but I think the producers had a word in SirAlan's shell like and said sack Mona otherwise we risk negative press. Papers taking pot shots about how a bigot was allowed into final rounds.

SirAlan said sacked with regret. Make of that what you will.


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

Another typically appalling episode.  What a bunch of fucking talentless tits. 

Of the losing team Howard was obviously safe as the only one who actually did anything at all of value all day.  James set up Mona, cos he knew she wouldn't like it and would be prime candidate to let the side down. He then did absolutely sweet fuck all for the rest of the day, not a bloody thing.  Wotsername was an utterly useless team leader, and was in charge of the way beyond hopeless materials.  The lot of them really should have been sacked, they couldn't run a whelk stall.


----------



## ymu (May 14, 2009)

kabbes said:


> A final little observation, because I do like to make them.  Howard and Deborah.  Have you noticed that at the end, Howard seemed to be hanging on Deborah's every word?  I wonder if, as a fairly shy and submissive person, he has latched on to a loud and dominant person and become charmed by them.  It would certainly explain why he didn't lay the blame for the task squarely at Deborah's door.


I don't think so. He was extremely professional in the pitches - just accepting responsibility for the posters being shit instead of saying "I know! I told her that but would she listen!". I think he was watching her closely because he didn't trust her an inch. If she'd tried to blame him, she was dead in the water. But she was smart enough not to, and so the poster/text argument never came up.

Howard could win this. He was surprisingly competent. Didn't really put a foot wrong all day, and was proved right in the major battles he lost.


----------



## gabi (May 14, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I'm incredulous as to Debra's team came up with such shockingly poor materials.  What else were they going?  All whilst Yasmina's team manage to produce something which looked perfectly competent.  Did they actually not have a graphic designer working with them or what?



I thought that was pretty unfair. One team seemed to have been given a half decent designer, and the other got someone who apparently could only use powerpoint (And even that very badly). I don't think the team was to blame. Unless they were in charge of recruiting the 'designer', which I dont think they were.


----------



## Badgers (May 14, 2009)

Not seen it but is it shit?
Are the contestants pointless?


----------



## gabi (May 14, 2009)

Badgers said:


> Not seen it but is it shit?
> Are the contestants pointless?



I only just started watching. It's pretty good. Some very punchable characters.


----------



## Badgers (May 14, 2009)

gabi said:


> I only just started watching. It's pretty good. Some very punchable characters.



Not talking about Urban75, I meant that show with Alan Sugar


----------



## Dovydaitis (May 14, 2009)

Debra needed to go!


----------



## Upchuck (May 14, 2009)

Mona was fucking useless 
Kate's big mouthed fucking flappy blah blah blahing sticks in my craw
Ben's just a fat boy
Debras a pursed lipped chav
James is mad in a good way
Lorraine's too blunt
The Iranian one's too Iranian for my liking

Howard to win!

Yes, you heard it here first


----------



## Voley (May 14, 2009)

Oh that was funny. 

Felt a bit sorry for Mona there - she's not exactly very dynamic but I think she was right about targeting the gay market being a pretty crap idea. Margate? Not really Brighton imo. 

Anyhow, Sandhurst Boy lives to fight another day. I reckon they're keeping him just to get us all riled up. When he gets the boot it'll be ace. If this isn't a punchable face I don't know what is.


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

gabi said:


> I thought that was pretty unfair. One team seemed to have been given a half decent designer, and the other got someone who apparently could only use powerpoint (And even that very badly). I don't think the team was to blame. Unless they were in charge of recruiting the 'designer', which I dont think they were.



thats not right, Team Gay simply fucked it up. Debra said that they'd only got twenty seconds to put all the text on, so they would have to leave it blank.  She fucked up the timings, and left the designer with nothing to work with, there was nothing he could do.


----------



## gabi (May 14, 2009)

belboid said:


> thats not right, Team Gay simply fucked it up. Debra said that they'd only got twenty seconds to put all the text on, so they would have to leave it blank.  She fucked up the timings, and left the designer with nothing to work with, there was nothing he could do.



*cough* WHAT? He clearly didnt even understand the very basics of design. I doubt he even used InDesign.


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

I wouldnt use InDesign, I think its shit.


----------



## gabi (May 14, 2009)

belboid said:


> I wouldnt use InDesign, I think its shit.



What would you use? Word?


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

well, for the pile of shit they came up with Word would have been no worse.

Personally I still swear by Quark, as do almost all the DTPers i know


----------



## gabi (May 14, 2009)

belboid said:


> well, for the pile of shit they came up with Word would have been no worse.
> 
> Personally I still swear by Quark, as do almost all the DTPers i know



???

Indesign is industry standard now. In every agency I work in they've phased out quark almost entirely now. It's dead. And rightly so.. awful piece of software.


----------



## tommers (May 14, 2009)

gabi said:


> *cough* WHAT? He clearly didnt even understand the very basics of design. I doubt he even used InDesign.



I don't think the designer has any input on what appears.  He's just following instructions.


----------



## gabi (May 14, 2009)

tommers said:


> I don't think the designer has any input on what appears.  He's just following instructions.



I don't agree. That's the point of a designer, they have the expertise to interpret the bullshit coming from the client into a coherent visual solution. That guy clearly didnt know what he was doing. It looked like a secretary had knocked it up. I was surprised comic sans didnt make an appearance.


----------



## marshall (May 14, 2009)

IMO the right line was there, but it was lost behind screeds of detail and a designer should have spotted it. 

If they’d kept the posters headlines to just ‘Thought you knew about Margate? Think again…’ with the supporting visuals being their gay imagery, I think they’d have been alright.


----------



## tommers (May 14, 2009)

gabi said:


> I don't agree. That's the point of a designer, they have the expertise to interpret the bullshit coming from the client into a coherent visual solution. That guy clearly didnt know what he was doing. It looked like a secretary had knocked it up. I was surprised comic sans didnt make an appearance.



Yes.  Normally.  But maybe not on a game show.  Especially one which is set up deliberately to make the contestants look as foolish as possible.


----------



## dylans (May 14, 2009)

gabi said:


> What would you use? Word?



I'd use adobe illustrator and photoshop.


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

tommers said:


> Yes.  Normally.  But maybe not on a game show.  Especially one which is set up deliberately to make the contestants look as foolish as possible.



Quite.  And as with one of the design jobbies before, they obviously completely and utterly failed to communicate anytyhing with the designer, so he just did the absolute minimum, and so produced shit.  Not his fault in any way at all.


----------



## jæd (May 14, 2009)

kabbes said:


> The winning team did a solid enough job this week.  And the key was that Yasmina played to their strengths, just as last time she was team leader.  Their concept was uninspired but safe and, really, what else are they going to come up with in the hour or so they have available before they have to commit to an idea?  It's not like they actually know what the town's strengths really are.  Then they executed it professionally and effectively.



The winning team won by default. Both teams made the usual Apprentice error of charging off with an idea. Why didn't they phone up Margate Tourist Board and ask them what their strengths were and how they wanted to be perceived...? It came out at that town meeting that Margate thought it had cultured dining. Just rebrand Margate as a "Resort For The Cultured"...


----------



## Gromit (May 14, 2009)

gabi said:


> I don't agree. That's the point of a designer, they have the expertise to interpret the bullshit coming from the client into a coherent visual solution. That guy clearly didnt know what he was doing. It looked like a secretary had knocked it up. I was surprised comic sans didnt make an appearance.


 
He was being directed by Debwa who you can't tell that the sky is blue if she don't want to hear it.

Plus I think all the contractors they bring in are under instructions to let the candidates hang themselves. If you aren't asked an opinion or for information don't give it.

In the real world that designer would have said sorry but I'm not producing that, I have a reputation to protect. On the Apprentice they are told to let any shit go out because its good television and they won't get the blame the candidates will.


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

Just rewatched the bits with the designers, and it was very clear, even from the editted bits we see, that Debra wasn't giving any clear instructions at all, had no idea about layout, spent too long picking (not very good) pictures, and just wasn't a designer at all. Whereas tother lot knew what they wanted, and managed to coomunicate it.  The fact that it was fairly dull and obvious made it easier for them, but that was a sensible choice all things considered.

Did like to see Lorraine sneaking a crafty fag as well


----------



## Jenerys (May 14, 2009)

NVP said:


> Anyhow, Sandhurst Boy lives to fight another day. I reckon they're keeping him just to get us all riled up. When he gets the boot it'll be ace. If this isn't a punchable face I don't know what is.



Cant wait to see him ripped apart during the hard-core interviews with Suralan's mates


----------



## Gromit (May 14, 2009)

LilJen said:


> Cant wait to see him ripped apart during the hard-core interviews with Suralan's mates


 
If he lasts that long.

Please god let him last that long. They'll string him up.


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

Now if you want to rebrand a fading seaside town with some originality, style and wit, you cannot do better than this


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 14, 2009)

On a side did anyone see the typo in the Margate poster.


"See margate through children's eyes"



SORT YOUR APOSTROPHES OUT!!


----------



## Santino (May 14, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> On a side did anyone see the typo in the Margate poster.
> 
> 
> "See margate through children's eyes"
> ...


----------



## ch750536 (May 14, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> On a side did anyone see the typo in the Margate poster.
> 
> 
> "See margate through children's eyes"
> ...



It is correct, sort your spelling out.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 14, 2009)

ok.... 


I didn't sleep very well.

My excuse any way.


----------



## Mitre10 (May 14, 2009)

NVP said:


> Anyhow, Sandhurst Boy lives to fight another day. I reckon they're keeping him just to get us all riled up. When he gets the boot it'll be ace. If this isn't a punchable face I don't know what is.





I'm hoping that he stays in till at least that job interview-style round where they go to be interviewed by Sralan's business buddies. Normally the woman who did the lingerie chain and some other big fella who looks like he'd be handy in a brawl.

I bet Ben's CV has got Sandhurst all over it, despite the fact he never went there - he will get torn a new one for that


----------



## Miss Potter (May 14, 2009)

LilJen said:


> Cant wait to see him ripped apart during the hard-core interviews with Suralan's mates



oh...oh yes I like that idea. I've been wanting him to go but now the thought of him facing those people fills me with utter glee heh heh 

The slogan should have been "see it through a child's eyes", that flows better than "see it through children's eyes". 

Deborah should have put _something_ on the back of that bloody leaflet, even if it was just a map of the south east with a big red dot where Margate is . As mentioned by a previous poster, she obviously learned nothing from Pants Man and his bare box.


----------



## brix (May 14, 2009)

Upchuck said:


> The Iranian one's too Iranian for my liking



What on earth does this mean?


----------



## Rock Bottom (May 14, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> On a side did anyone see the typo in the Margate poster.
> 
> 
> "See margate through children's eyes"
> ...



Yeah, no problem with that one.

The poster does have an error though.

"Margate holds the Blue Flag Award for it's miles of beautifully pristine white sandy coastline."


----------



## souljacker (May 14, 2009)

jæd said:


> Why didn't they phone up Margate Tourist Board and ask them what their strengths were and how they wanted to be perceived...?



My thoughts exactly. The tourist office would have been the first place I went on a task like this.


----------



## Upchuck (May 14, 2009)

souljacker said:


> My thoughts exactly. The tourist office would have been the first place I went on a task like this.



You'd be too bright and logical to make the cust for Surallan


----------



## cybertect (May 14, 2009)

See, had done the slightest bit of research, they would have known that Margate was re-launching itself as a centre of art and culture. I remember a feature on _Today_ last year.

http://www.margaterocks.com


----------



## cybertect (May 14, 2009)

belboid said:


> Quite.  And as with one of the design jobbies before, they obviously completely and utterly failed to communicate anytyhing with the designer, so he just did the absolute minimum, and so produced shit.  Not his fault in any way at all.



The thing with all of these tasks is that they get to hire a professional photographer (with a nice Canon or Contax and lights) and a professional graphic designer and a professional guy to make Pantsman's suit, but not a professional art director or copywriter who would pick these kind of things up in a second and sort it out.

Still, it makes for entertaining TV


----------



## belboid (May 14, 2009)

well, they have to show the idiots actually doing something themselves, otherwise they'd just be ... managers


----------



## cesare (May 15, 2009)

jæd said:


> The winning team won by default. Both teams made the usual Apprentice error of charging off with an idea. Why didn't they phone up Margate Tourist Board and ask them what their strengths were and how they wanted to be perceived...? It came out at that town meeting that Margate thought it had cultured dining. Just rebrand Margate as a "Resort For The Cultured"...



"Last Resort For The Cultured" might have been nearer the mark.

I've a feeling that blonde woman's going to win this (Kate???). Debra or Lorraine will be next out I reckon.


----------



## beeboo (May 20, 2009)

DAMMIT!

I've arranged to be out on a Wednesday night again, which means I'm confined to watching the Apprentice on iplayer on my iphone again  

Which I'll probably attempt to do when I get home a bit tipsy this evening, so expect some late-night drunken ramblings from me later.

Meanwhile I predict Lorraine will go tonight.  Or I might go out on a limb and predict a double firing of Lorraine and Howard.


----------



## blairsh (May 20, 2009)

So whose going tonight then?


----------



## Lea (May 20, 2009)

Oh I like that folding buggy.


----------



## Lea (May 20, 2009)

£1700 for a rocking horse. That's crazy money!


----------



## wiskey (May 20, 2009)

well my baby boards is sold on the birth pool and the buggy and hates the shoes and the hat. 

Sandhurst boy has to go!


----------



## blairsh (May 20, 2009)

Yeah, Ben should definately fuck off. "Excuse me, could i interest you in our rocking horses?" Haha! Nob 'ead!


----------



## Lea (May 20, 2009)

Did James just say my arse is like that...puckered.


----------



## wiskey (May 20, 2009)

buggy


----------



## stretchy18 (May 20, 2009)

lorraine did well I thought

JAMES IS GOING


----------



## Lea (May 20, 2009)

stretchy18 said:


> lorraine did well I thought
> 
> JAMES IS GOING



Agree with this ^^


----------



## blairsh (May 20, 2009)

James shouldn't go, Ben or Deborah should go. They chose the fucking fucking rocking horses and James held his own seen how pushy and fuck witted the other two are.


----------



## belboid (May 20, 2009)

c'mon!  time for ben to go - he chose tyhe rocking horse and then did fuck all else. crap salesman, tara mr sandhurst


----------



## wiskey (May 20, 2009)

Ben has to go


----------



## paulhackett (May 20, 2009)

fantastic treat for the winners.. Ben off after that 'all the way into ams1'


----------



## Lea (May 20, 2009)

I want Deborah to go.


----------



## stretchy18 (May 20, 2009)

I want to pop my winky in Deborah


----------



## Lea (May 20, 2009)

stretchy18 said:


> I want to pop my winky in Deborah



You'll get your head bitten off!


----------



## scooter (May 20, 2009)

When they showed the preview for this weeks show at the end of last weeks show, Sir Alan pointed with his left hand to say you're fired and he pointed to his far left so I reckon it's Ben who goes.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 20, 2009)

There's the Sandhurst reference!

Please stop talking!


----------



## blairsh (May 20, 2009)

Ben metioned Sandhurst again!

FUCK OFF!


----------



## brix (May 20, 2009)

Shut up about Sandhurst you moron!!!!


----------



## wiskey (May 20, 2009)

Deborah looks like the purple quality street


----------



## Bassism (May 20, 2009)

Ben is going hes a joke just want to smack him in the face


----------



## rob fade (May 20, 2009)

"I was offered a scholarship to Sandhurst"

"Stop banging on about Sandhurst! I was in the Jewish boys brigade! Didnt help me sell computers!" 

PWNED


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 20, 2009)

wiskey said:


> deborah looks like the purple quality street



loooooool!


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (May 20, 2009)

YAY!


----------



## rob fade (May 20, 2009)

Thank fuck for that!


----------



## brix (May 20, 2009)

Thank god for that.


----------



## belboid (May 20, 2009)

yay!


----------



## blairsh (May 20, 2009)

YES! Fuck off back to Sandhurst you MASSIVE bell end!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 20, 2009)

Awwww.....


Blub blub......

*gets handkerchief*

*wipes tear away*


----------



## wiskey (May 20, 2009)

yay


----------



## Lea (May 20, 2009)

Sandhurst boy gone - woohoo!


----------



## perthperson (May 20, 2009)

Ha ha - Ben.  Brilliant!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 20, 2009)

Although,  I DO actually think that Deborah fucked up most this week.

He should have fired both of them.


----------



## wiskey (May 20, 2009)

Bet he mentions sandhurst in the taxi!


----------



## foamy (May 20, 2009)

i thought deborah would go but also very glad they got rid of old shark eyes!


----------



## brix (May 20, 2009)

Selly telly next week - excellent!


----------



## Paul Russell (May 20, 2009)

I thought Ben was likable compared to evil Deborah though.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 20, 2009)

She's the devil. I don't think she'll last much longer.


----------



## Part 2 (May 20, 2009)

Ben seemed pretty sound on the after show, could laugh at himself anyway.

A few good clips of Yasmeena tonight I thought, defending James in the boardroom was a stand out. 

Good prize for the first time this series too.


----------



## Miss Potter (May 20, 2009)

How the fuck is Debra still there? Evil woman!

This week's prize was the best of the series by far.


----------



## Gromit (May 20, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> There's the Sandhurst reference!
> 
> Please stop talking!





blairsh said:


> Ben metioned Sandhurst again!
> 
> FUCK OFF!





wiskey said:


> Deborah looks like the purple quality street





rob fade said:


> "I was offered a scholarship to Sandhurst"
> 
> "Stop banging on about Sandhurst! I was in the Jewish boys brigade! Didnt help me sell computers!"
> 
> PWNED



As he asked him why he thought he should stay I was thinking to myself surely he can't quote sandhurst as a reason. He didn't go. Then I sat back and waited for it. I nearly shouted bingo when he did.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 21, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> Ben seemed pretty sound on the after show, could laugh at himself anyway.



Yeah, he seemed like a good sport with some self-awareness on the after show (unlike that prick Phillip).


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2009)

Why is it that they never concentrate on the real issues, causes and strategies on either the show or the follow-up?  They are just full of post-hoc rationalisations and hindsight bias.  It's ridiculous.

The most egregious example for me this week was this concentration on whether the birthing pool or the buggy was the better choice.  Er -- why not go for both of them?  We don't know how much they made from the buggy but we DO know that they made about £750 from the birthing pool, which was more than half the winning total.  So if they had paired the birthing pool with some other money-spinner then they would have won.  If they had paired the buggy with the rocking horse then they *still would definitely have lost* because buggy + zero from horse < buggy + money from helmet!

All characters (with the exception of James and Kate) also persist in this ridiculous approach of "I like it therefore it will sell".  Who cares if you like it?  Are you a pregnant woman?  No?  Then fuck off and find out what they want instead!

And this equally preposterous idea that a bigger market must mean bigger sales.  If that was the case then everybody would just sell buggies.  No, in fact, actually, nobody would sell buggies or any other baby items at all because it is only a small proportion of the population that has babies.  We all need to eat, though, so everybody should just sell food.  Stupid!

James stumbled onto the only proper bit of research in the entire show when he found out that the birthing pool does actually have a history of selling big at baby shows.  Therefore he went for it and, lo and behold, it sold well at a baby show.  Frankly, that team deserved to win for that one thing alone.

As for the buggy -- my very first comment when I saw that was, "If they can't put it up as smoothly as that shop assistant, they won't sell it at all -- she should make sure she can do it in the shop."  And this was indeed the thing that almost caught them out.

The helmet was, I thought, a good choice.  Who cares if Ben thinks it looks like a scrum hat?  Who cares if they personally would never use one?  It had two obvious things going for it -- 1) it was an impulse buy, which is exactly what you want as your back up item.  Somebody at a show like that will spend £16 without worrying if it is £14 two aisles down.  And they'll get it in case they want it later; and 2) a worried first-time mum may well make that impulse buy "just in case".  It was clearly always going to tick over on sales.

I quite supported the horse choice though, depending on how they sold it.  You shouldn't pre-judge your audience at a trade show and there was always the possibility of one rich person buying one horse.  They almost got it too.  But the after-show comments were right on one score -- you have to give people a reason to buy it then and there.  They didn't do this, hence they failed.

I'd also have gone with the horse and the birthing pool if I could have got a decent discount on the horse.  Failing that, the birthing pool and the helmet.  The buggy was too risky that I wouldn't be able to put it up and that my competition would be too fierce (something which we identified when they first chose it and which did actually happen).  I'd love to see the breakdown of sales between buggy and helmet.  They clearly didn't sell many buggies, given that they only made £1100 and buggies were £135 apiece.

All of this makes it difficult to decide who should go, in one way (although it is obvious when you go through the issues one by one).  Lorraine was by far and away the worst performer, I thought.  She has become obsessed with her "winning instincts" to the detriment of all proper analysis.  She made a right fuck-up of the buggy issue, which would have cost them the task if the other team had made any kind of half-decent sales at all with their secondary item.  Her manner in selling was appalling.  She was awful.  But she won because she was playing against a team with only one real product.

The losing team so nearly got it right -- the error was in going for the incentive-free horse rather than an incentive-enabled horse or an impulse buy such as the helmet.  So whose fault was that?  Certainly not James -- he got it right on the nose when he said that he'd have been crucified for ignoring such strong feedback from his team about the fact that they should go for the horse.  (James was actually pretty good I thought -- he is a collaborative manager, made good decisions based on the data available and worked through knowledge rather than guesswork).  Ben and Deborah were equally responsible for the rocking horse fiasco, but it was pretty clear to me that it was Deborah that bulldozed the actual decision through.  All her worst faults were once again exposed -- the key two being that she doesn't listen to any suggestions and she has a massively overinflated sense of the value of her own judgements.

Given that and given past performances (such as last week, where she was about as bad as I've ever seen anyone be), she really should have been fired this week.  Nick and Margaret clearly thought so too.

But Ben was useless thoughout the series, so I can't really argue with Sugar deciding that he might as well junk him now.


----------



## jæd (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> You shouldn't pre-judge your audience at a trade show and there was always the possibility of one rich person buying one horse.  They almost got it too.  But the after-show comments were right on one score -- you have to give people a reason to buy it then and there.  They didn't do this, hence they failed.



True, but its a very high risk strategy. And the person who was interested in it was one of the other exhibitors...

The problem is that the Apprentices always focus on selling. This was another task about product positioning. (See the focus of this series...?) What are people who go to Baby Shows after...? Expensive rocking horses or mid-price baby stuff...? I suspect the latter.

The Apprentices seem to think they sell anything. They can't.

I'd also be interested on that 2.2 % stat. I would guess that Mums to be go to the Baby Show and buy the Baby Pool. But when they are actually about to give birth reason goes out and they want to be given lots of drugs and be in a hospital... 

Oh, and none of the Apprentices seem to know what to say in the Boardroom. When I first graduated from Univerisity I went to an interview and tried to big my self up like they do. The next question was "Oh, and can you back all that up with situations where you were a leader/creative/etc". Last time I used that in a interview (until I could back it up...)


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2009)

Definitely high risk.  But then, the buggy was fairly high risk -- it's twice as much as other buggies and you risk being undersold on the same item by another stall.  Which happened to them -- by rights, they should have sold no buggies at all!

On previous series, the team selling the high-end item have normally sold one and won.  The difference was that they had a USP for why to buy it then and there.  That's what this team lacked.  Well, that and a really good salesperson.  Are you telling me that Ruth Badger wouldn't have sold a rocking horse?


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> The most egregious example for me this week was this concentration on whether the birthing pool or the buggy was the better choice.  Er -- why not go for both of them?  We don't know how much they made from the buggy but we DO know that they made about £750 from the birthing pool, which was more than half the winning total.  So if they had paired the birthing pool with some other money-spinner then they would have won.  If they had paired the buggy with the rocking horse then they *still would definitely have lost* because buggy + zero from horse < buggy + money from helmet!


a - it wasnt half the total, not far off, but not half. (so unlike james claimed, if everyone had been selling it all the time, they still wouldnt have won)
b - i get the impression they weren't allowed to buy both, they had to get one the other lot chose



> And this equally preposterous idea that a bigger market must mean bigger sales.  If that was the case then everybody would just sell buggies.  No, in fact, actually, nobody would sell buggies or any other baby items at all because it is only a small proportion of the population that has babies.  We all need to eat, though, so everybody should just sell food.  Stupid!


no, thats a very stupid thing for you to say. the point is market share X value, but bigger markets give you bigger potential, james actually defended his decision re the buggy quite well, buit the facts proved him wrong on it.



> James stumbled onto the only proper bit of research in the entire show when he found out that the birthing pool does actually have a history of selling big at baby shows.  Therefore he went for it and, lo and behold, it sold well at a baby show.  Frankly, that team deserved to win for that one thing alone.


lol, that wasnt _research_ that was believing what the seller told him!  it might have been true, but then again....and it didnt sell very well, they sold nine. Thats pretty shit




> I quite supported the horse choice though, depending on how they sold it.  You shouldn't pre-judge your audience at a trade show and there was always the possibility of one rich person buying one horse.  They almost got it too.  But the after-show comments were right on one score -- you have to give people a reason to buy it then and there.  They didn't do this, hence they failed.


and hence deserved to lose and be sacked



> I'd also have gone with the horse and the birthing pool if I could have got a decent discount on the horse.  Failing that, the birthing pool and the helmet.  The buggy was too risky that I wouldn't be able to put it up and that my competition would be too fierce (something which we identified when they first chose it and which did actually happen).  I'd love to see the breakdown of sales between buggy and helmet.  They clearly didn't sell many buggies, given that they only made £1100 and buggies were £135 apiece.


no, they made over £1600, and we saw them sell a few buggies (mainly early on)



> All of this makes it difficult to decide who should go, in one way (although it is obvious when you go through the issues one by one).  Lorraine was by far and away the worst performer, I thought.  She has become obsessed with her "winning instincts" to the detriment of all proper analysis.  She made a right fuck-up of the buggy issue, which would have cost them the task if the other team had made any kind of half-decent sales at all with their secondary item.  Her manner in selling was appalling.  She was awful.  But she won because she was playing against a team with only one real product.


but you just said they BOTH only had one real product, so you are contradicting yourself.  and ben was a much worse seller.  after a crap start, lorraine did okay



> But Ben was useless thoughout the series, so I can't really argue with Sugar deciding that he might as well junk him now.


we'll agree on that


----------



## LJo (May 21, 2009)

The major factor for me in the birth pool being a bad idea is that out of the 2.2 per cent of women who decide to use a birth pool, the majority of those will just rent one. It's quicker, easier, cheaper and most of the rental models come with tubes so you can fill it from the tap, plus a water heater. I'm surprised they sold any TBH.


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2009)

Bigger markets may give you a bigger potential, but only if you can take a big enough slice of the pie!  There is absolutely nothing to say that you're going to do better just because you service a bigger market.  Being the only game in town in a niche market may well be a better bet.

I still think that the birthing pool was a pretty good choice.  They may well have sold more of them with more focus -- maybe turned £750 into £1000.  A good back-up for it would have seen them home.

Or, of course, having a good incentive for buying a horse.

Incidentally, it may be that they weren't allowed to sell the same things.  In which case, Buggy Team may well have ended up with the buggy in any case!  There was no way that Deborah and Ben were ever going to pass up the chance to sell that horse, whereas Lorraine's priority was the buggy.  And even if they had flipped for it, it still would have been 50/50.


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2009)

LJo said:


> The major factor for me in the birth pool being a bad idea is that out of the 2.2 per cent of women who decide to use a birth pool, the majority of those will just rent one. It's quicker, easier, cheaper and most of the rental models come with tubes so you can fill it from the tap, plus a water heater. I'm surprised they sold any TBH.


This is all presumption though.  The very fact that they did sell nine even with only one-third of the team focussed on them shows that you are wrong in your presumption!

It's clearly a proven seller.


----------



## King Biscuit Time (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Incidentally, it may be that they weren't allowed to sell the same things.



This is clearly the case, although it's never explicitly stated, you never see the teams go for the same items, or even being told they can't have item x because the other team are having it. It's a bit of a conceit really - I'd give them the lists of items in advance and send them off to secure the deal first come, first served, meaning that they'd have to asses the potential of each item using the list, prioritise their appointments, and if necessary secure deals before they've even seen all of the items.


----------



## LJo (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> This is all presumption though.  The very fact that they did sell nine even with only one-third of the team focussed on them shows that you are wrong in your presumption!
> 
> It's clearly a proven seller.



But it didn't sell enough.

And they lost.

So it was the wrong choice.

So, er, ner ner ner ner ner.

*fails at proper analysis*


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

King Biscuit Time said:


> This is clearly the case, although it's never explicitly stated, you never see the teams go for the same items, .



yes you do, they both tried to sell....cant remember what, but the same shitty thing when they went oop north


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2009)

LJo said:


> But it didn't sell enough.
> 
> And they lost.
> 
> ...


It clearly sold better than one of the other team's two choices.  Pair it with the right thing and you have a winner.  Ner ner yerself.

All this "replace the pool with the buggy" nonsense misses the point that even if this WAS possible given the rules, *they still would have lost* because they sold no horses!


----------



## Chester Copperpot (May 21, 2009)

Favorite Quote:

Surallan: "So who are you bringing back in James."

James: "To be honest Sir Allan I'd like to bring Deborah in twice."


----------



## redsnapper (May 21, 2009)

I was glad to see Ben go but found myself warming to him on the after show thing with Chiles et al. The poor lad looked nigh on tears in the boardroom when Sugar struck him off. Shaking his head and welling up as Alan wound up the 'your fired' speech - awwrrr  

It occurred to me last night that both Debs and Lorraine have mouths like arse holes - unfortunatley, with that garish lip stick on her sort-of pouty lips Lorraine's gob looked like an arse hole with piles


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2009)

Another reminder this week of how good Yasmina is at manipulating the conversations to her own end.  She waits and waits and then just gives the conversation the right nudge at the right time to set them arguing amongst themselves.  She knows when to speak and when to zip up.  I think she's great.  Notice that for all the times she's been in the losing team, there's never a hint of her being in the firing line.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> It clearly sold better than one of the other team's two choices.



no it didnt.  we dont know how many of either thing was sold by the other team, but there is absolutely no reason at all to say it 'clearly' sold better than either one of the other teams products as they made _over twice as much_ as team horse


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2009)

belboid said:


> no it didnt.  we dont know how many of either thing was sold by the other team, but there is absolutely no reason at all to say it 'clearly' sold better than either one of the other teams products as they made _over twice as much_ as team horse


Sigh.

OK, it is theoretically possible that the buggy and the helmet sold almost identical amounts, each of which was more than the pool.  Possible but exceedingly unlikely.  A swing of just a few percent each way would see one of them selling less than the pool.


----------



## redsnapper (May 21, 2009)

Oh yeah I wanna bone Yasmina


----------



## LJo (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Sigh.
> 
> OK, it is theoretically possible that the buggy and the helmet sold almost identical amounts, each of which was more than the pool.  Possible but exceedingly unlikely.  A swing of just a few percent each way would see one of them selling less than the pool.



I demand some kind of complex graph that I can sit and stare and and not understand.

Or we need Peter Snow and his Swingometer to settle the question once and for all. Unfortunately, I think he is dead.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Sigh.
> 
> OK, it is theoretically possible that the buggy and the helmet sold almost identical amounts, each of which was more than the pool.  Possible but exceedingly unlikely.  A swing of just a few percent each way would see one of them selling less than the pool.



sigh all you want dear boy - fact is, you got your sums wrong and your original analysis was pants 

And that was their TOP seller, even paired with the 'right' thing, it wouldnt have been good enough.  Because it was outsold by at least one other product.

It wasn't a bad choice, but, in the circumstances, with the benefit of hindsight, clearly the wrong one.

had they sold a single horse, it wouldnt have mattered if they'd chosen those repugnant high  heels for babies (the maker of which should really be shot).  They chose badly and lost.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

LJo said:


> Or we need Peter Snow and his Swingometer to settle the question once and for all. Unfortunately, I think he is dead.



still well with us - he presented Maestro last year


----------



## ymu (May 21, 2009)

belboid said:


> lol, that wasnt _research_ that was believing what the seller told him!  it might have been true, but then again....and it didnt sell very well, they sold nine. Thats pretty shit


Well, no. The seller told them she got £5k's worth of orders over 3 days at a baby show - just short of £1700/day. They managed a little less than half of that, with a stall that wasn't 100% focused on the birthing pools. 

The seller's claims look very reasonable, and they didn't do too badly out of them, they just should have put all their efforts into selling them. There's no point trying to actively sell a £1700 rocking horse - you just have to hope that that one buyer comes along (which he did). They had an inflated birthing pool propped up vertically against the inside wall of the stand instead of properly out on display - like it was stock or something. It was bizarre. 



King Biscuit Time said:


> This is clearly the case, although it's never explicitly stated, you never see the teams go for the same items, or even being told they can't have item x because the other team are having it. It's a bit of a conceit really - I'd give them the lists of items in advance and send them off to secure the deal first come, first served, meaning that they'd have to asses the potential of each item using the list, prioritise their appointments, and if necessary secure deals before they've even seen all of the items.


It was stated. They had to come up with second choices on products in case the other team made the same choices. It usually is explicit when they can't go for the same stuff - there have been tasks where they had to negotiate with the other team over who got what, and others where the designers got to choose who sold their stuff if there was a clash.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

ymu said:


> Well, no. The seller told them she got £5k's worth of orders over 3 days at a baby show - just short of £1700/day. They managed a little less than half of that, with a stall that wasn't 100% focused on the birthing pools.
> 
> The seller's claims look very reasonable, and they didn't do too badly out of them, they just should have put all their efforts into selling them.



you miss my point - which was that finding out what the seller CLAIMED to have sold (and they yes there claim was plausible, but thats not the same as definitely true) is NOT 'research'. It's believing what you are told.

And nine is pretty fucking poor when there are at least two people selling it all day (as compared to one person doing so normally?  we dont know, so we cant really tell how much we are comparing like with like)


----------



## Gromit (May 21, 2009)

The losing team choice one product which according to the manufacter's £5k over 3 day should have made over £1.6k (over the three day average cause they were given the busiest day to sell on). 

They didnt sell that amount do either the woman exagerated her sales figures or they were crap at selling or we have to adjust for the recession. Risk wise it seemed a reasonble decision. 

Where they missed out on was by only having one product selling. If they'd had a second product with a decent mark up they would have won because although the other team sold skull caps I can't imagine that it made them a huge amount of money per sale. It must have been a low price item. 

Going for the horse could have paid off if they'd sold (one with the discount in place). Remember the wheelchair in a previous series? They took a gamble, didn't execute it right and paid the price. They shouldn't grumble. 

During the rocking horse pitches I didn't hear one mention of them having been sold to royalty. They missed a trick there. They didn't have a USP and that was it.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

Marius said:


> During the rocking horse pitches I didn't hear one mention of them having been sold to royalty. They missed a trick there.



yeah they were fucking shit at selling it, after falling so in love they really should have come up with a better pitch.  Hell, _any_ pitch would have done


----------



## beeboo (May 21, 2009)

Saw it this morning, but only after Mr B. let slip that James is on next week's show, thus robbing me of the tension in the boardroom (as he's the only one on that team I care about saving).  

I do completely love James actually  

However I think his biggest mistake this week was ended up with two products which were niche interest, which puts them much more at the mercy of the customers - you're either in the market for a rocking horse and a birthing pool or you're not.  Whereas Lorraine's team had two products with a wide market which meant they had much more influence on the day in terms of the quality of their sales techniques.

Debra made a big mistake with the rocking horse, she was thinking emotionally not strategically.  Their high risk strategy could have worked, but I agree they did need to give people a reason to buy the horse there and then at the show, and they didn't.  I really think it was her who deserved to go both on the back of her performance in this task and the last task.  She's clearly only still in because she's good TV, whereas the Sandhurst boy is more of a one trick pony who has outlived his comedy value.


----------



## Gromit (May 21, 2009)

Being cheaper than the shops is a powerful selling point in a normal sale. Its practically expected at fair with the retailer expected to accept this for shifting larger numbers. 

I don't think Debra and Ben are the sort who go to fairs and would know this.


----------



## jæd (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Incidentally, it may be that they weren't allowed to sell the same things.  In which case, Buggy Team may well have ended up with the buggy in any case!  There was no way that Deborah and Ben were ever going to pass up the chance to sell that horse, whereas Lorraine's priority was the buggy.  And even if they had flipped for it, it still would have been 50/50.



I think last year it was decided by the suppliers. One team got turned down from selling Wedding Dresses as they obviously hadn't done any research...


----------



## jæd (May 21, 2009)

kabbes said:


> On previous series, the team selling the high-end item have normally sold one and won.  The difference was that they had a USP for why to buy it then and there.  That's what this team lacked.  Well, that and a really good salesperson.  Are you telling me that Ruth Badger wouldn't have sold a rocking horse?



If Team Horsey had Ms Badger on their side I don't the "I can't make a discount" would have happened. I'd have given the discount to the bloke, and then had it out with Surallen in the board-room...

(And did anyone notice the striking similarity to Yasmina to the rocking horses...?)


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 21, 2009)

redsnapper said:


> Oh yeah I wanna bone Yasmina



I know someone who has....


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 21, 2009)

belboid said:


> yeah they were fucking shit at selling it, after falling so in love they really should have come up with a better pitch.  Hell, _any_ pitch would have done



deborah would have come and worked for them for a week.  What more could you possibly want?  The _perfect _pitch, imo


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

except it was obviously complete bullshit!

she did try something tho, which is more than Mr Sandhurst did, which made him yet more deserving of the boot


----------



## beeboo (May 21, 2009)

jæd said:


> If Team Horsey had Ms Badger on their side I don't the "I can't make a discount" would have happened. I'd have given the discount to the bloke, and then had it out with Surallen in the board-room...



I think that was absolutely a non-negotiable, given that both teams found themselves in situations where they would have liked to discount, but couldn't.

As usual, I think there were lots of 'rules' that we didn't see - there must have been various restrictions on what products they could take as well - I don't think the buggy and the water birth thing was ever a possible combo.


----------



## Voley (May 21, 2009)

Yay! Sandhurst boy gone! I did enjoy watching him punch the sofa, I must admit.


----------



## beeboo (May 21, 2009)

Jon-of-arc said:


> deborah would have come and worked for them for a week.  What more could you possibly want?  The _perfect _pitch, imo



I can't imagine anything worth than working with Debra for a week   It'd have been better to use that as threat than a promise.


----------



## fubert (May 21, 2009)

Is it just me or are most of the contestants whining twats ?

I manage projects sometimes, if things go tits up I say "sorry. my responsibility" ; I don't go pointing the finger at other people.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

it was funny when suralan asked 'does no one have the guts to say they took the decision on the horse?@

Bendebra in unison - 'me, it was me, me me'

pathetic crawling arsewipes


----------



## spanglechick (May 21, 2009)

beeboo - did you just spoiler next week?

edit - oh no, ok, i understand now.


----------



## fubert (May 21, 2009)

belboid said:


> it was funny when suralan asked 'does no one have the guts to say they took the decision on the horse?@
> 
> Bendebra in unison - 'me, it was me, me me'
> 
> pathetic crawling arsewipes



yeah i saw that.

kind of obvious shit timing.

if someone came in at the start and went "whoops, sorry alan, my bad" - but oh no, they sit around bickering like a load of wankstains


----------



## bouncer_the_dog (May 21, 2009)

I love the fact he mentioned Sandhurst AGAIN


----------



## beeboo (May 21, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> beeboo - did you just spoiler next week?
> 
> edit - oh no, ok, i understand now.



I see what you mean - I meant I found out James appears in the TV selling task, which meant I knew before I saw the baby show episode that he didn't get fired THIS week.

He's not on next week's 'You're Fired'.  Or, at least, he might be, I've got no idea


----------



## oddworld (May 21, 2009)

redsnapper said:


> Oh yeah I wanna bone Yasmina


 
 Her hair annoys me , its so flat and lifeless, it always looks greasy too.


----------



## N_igma (May 21, 2009)

Who the fuck pays £1,700 for a rocking horse? Stupid cunts I'm glad for them.


----------



## oddworld (May 21, 2009)

N_igma said:


> Who the fuck pays £1,700 for a rocking horse? Stupid cunts I'm glad for them.


 
I would if money was no object, I think they are lovely. 

The thing was though that one chap at the end wanted it but they hadnt made any deal with the original seller to move on the price. That was a BIG mistake really.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

but it wasnt just a rocking horse!  it's an, mmmm, multi-generational rocking horse. or something


----------



## Paul Russell (May 21, 2009)

belboid said:


> it was funny when suralan asked 'does no one have the guts to say they took the decision on the horse?@
> 
> Bendebra in unison - 'me, it was me, me me'



In fairness, I feel I have to take part of the blame for the rocking horse as well...

Hmm, quite a few in the Yasmina fan club. I did point out a few weeks ago that she was strangely attractive. Interesting spots as well.


----------



## oddworld (May 21, 2009)

Lol, men do surprise me. As a woman I dont see the attractivness in her at all??!!


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

she looks _dirty_ innit?


----------



## N_igma (May 21, 2009)

oddworld said:


> That was a BIG mistake really.



Yes. You need to be able to haggle ffs!


----------



## Gromit (May 21, 2009)

Yas does nothing for me. I just don't see it.  
Debra has gorgeous eyes. Just stunning. Unfortunately she also has that mouth you'd want to gag rather than kiss. 
Kate seems lovely as well as being pretty. 
Loraine looks like someone's kooky aunty and that's not sexy.


----------



## Awesome Wells (May 21, 2009)

Loraine looks like Sean Locke.


----------



## Epico (May 21, 2009)

Awesome Wells - good observation! 

I'm firmly in the 'boning Yasmina' camp too.


----------



## belboid (May 21, 2009)

Marius said:


> Yas does nothing for me. I just don't see it.
> Debra has gorgeous eyes. Just stunning. Unfortunately she also has that mouth you'd want to gag rather than kiss.
> Kate seems lovely as well as being pretty.
> Loraine looks like someone's kooky aunty and that's not sexy.



Kate would still be checking her share prices mid-shag tho, and wouldn't let you do anything that might put a hair out of place.

Yas clearly couldn't give a shit how her hair ended up.

Debra would be good for oral, so that she might shut the fuck up.

Loraine would suddenly remember the washing needs putting out half way through.


----------



## oddworld (May 21, 2009)

Marius said:


> Debra has gorgeous eyes. Just stunning. Unfortunately she also has that mouth you'd want to gag rather than kiss.


 
I'm liking your kinky side there Marius.


----------



## King Biscuit Time (May 21, 2009)

oddworld said:


> Lol, men do surprise me. As a woman I dont see the attractivness in her at all??!!



As a man, I didn't see it at the start either. Different kettle of fish now though .


----------



## Hellsbells (May 21, 2009)

Marius said:


> Debra has gorgeous eyes. Just stunning.



Aren't they just coloured contacts though? 
I've never in my entire life seen anyone with eyes that kind of intense, perfect colour.


----------



## _angel_ (May 21, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Aren't they just coloured contacts though?
> I've never in my entire life seen anyone with eyes that kind of intense, perfect colour.



Some blue  eyes can be very intense, yes.


----------



## Chester Copperpot (May 21, 2009)

I think there's some sort of filter on the camera which brings out the colour of peoples eyes.


----------



## clicker (May 21, 2009)

The deal with rocking horse man was the price it was to be sold at I think, that it was not to be less than agreed....couldnt they have said it was £200 more to the customer(s) and let him knock them down the £200....they should have guessed anyone buying is going to ask for a discount...


----------



## Paul Russell (May 21, 2009)

King Biscuit Time said:


> As a man, I didn't see it at the start either. Different kettle of fish now though .



She's one of those people who, if you see a photo of them (and if you look on Google, there is only one photo of her in existence) doesn't look stunning, but there's something about her mannerisms, her personality and the way she moves that is quite attractive. And her spots as well.

It's funny that someone mentioned Anna out of "This Life", because it's very similar...

Well, I tried to sound slightly less pervy than the people who said "I'd like to bone her". Did it work? Probably not.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 21, 2009)

belboid said:


> yes you do, they both tried to sell....cant remember what, but the same shitty thing when they went oop north




One team had a sleeping bag and a dog lead and the other team had a cat playhouse and a bike accessory.


----------



## Upchuck (May 21, 2009)

I have a crush on Yasmina.  She's so cold and emotionless and puckered up.  I can't stop thinking about her!

Yasmina you fox 

e2a: read back on thread and good to see others share the love!


----------



## Jon-of-arc (May 21, 2009)

Upchuck said:


> I have a crush on Yasmina.  She's so cold and emotionless and puckered up.  I can't stop thinking about her!
> 
> Yasmina you fox
> 
> e2a: read back on thread and good to see others share the love!



plus shes smart, making good moves on the show, in terms of game plan, and generally not making a prick of herself - a rarely accomplished feet...


----------



## beeboo (May 22, 2009)

I find it rather reassuring that there appears to be more people lusting after Yasmina with her lank hair, spotty face and thin-lipped scowl than are lusting after the rather more conventionally attractive Kate.

Hope for us all.


----------



## Upchuck (May 22, 2009)

Kate's pretty, but Yasmina's _sexy_.

Yas has the goods any day of the week.  We love ya baby!


----------



## boing! (May 23, 2009)

Just got round to watching this on the iplayer. As much as I wanted Ben to go, I _really_ wanted to see him go in a flaming ball of epic fail. Was a bit disapointed really. I also would have loved to see him pull his Sandhurst shit on the interview round. Oh well.  At least I don't have to see his burpy face on my tv anymore.

I have to agree with the comments about yasmina as well.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (May 27, 2009)

fakeplasticgirl said:


> is it wrong that i think i fancy james?!
> 
> apparently he's a chess player too. Mmmmmhm. i'd mate his King anyday



Big stress on "apparently".


----------



## belboid (May 27, 2009)

dead dear, sounds completely faked according to this thread http://www.ecforum.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=718&start=0 (which is, doh!, eventually linked to from your link)

Shocking behaviour from a would be captain of industry.


----------



## Stigmata (May 27, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I find it rather reassuring that there appears to be more people lusting after Yasmina with her lank hair, spotty face and thin-lipped scowl than are lusting after the rather more conventionally attractive Kate.
> 
> Hope for us all.



I love a lass with a scowl tbh


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

belboid said:


> dead dear, sounds completely faked according to this thread http://www.ecforum.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=718&start=0 (which is, doh!, eventually linked to from your link)
> 
> Shocking behaviour from a would be captain of industry.


If they guess right and he was champion of his primary school chess club then technically it's not a lie. Being economical with truth is exactly what I'd expect from a captan of industry.


----------



## wiskey (May 27, 2009)

got to be deborah tonight!


----------



## aqua (May 27, 2009)

did he just say "you can get polyester that's manmade?"????


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

wiskey said:


> got to be deborah tonight!



Her or lorraine.


----------



## beeboo (May 27, 2009)

First mention of "instinct" from Lorraine


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

james rocks!


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

If they can sell itthe fryer is going to win this task.


----------



## 1927 (May 27, 2009)

Marius said:


> If they can sell itthe fryer is going to win this task.



I'd buy one.


----------



## 1927 (May 27, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> james rocks!



He was very good.


----------



## zoooo (May 27, 2009)

Um. I actually genuinely want one of those scarf/poncho things...


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

I love Suralun's running commentary


----------



## wiskey (May 27, 2009)

those jackets are really special


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

That leaf jacket thing is vile. Who'd buy that?


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

That leaf jacket is the best thing I've ever seen.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 27, 2009)

They're gonna make a killing with that fryer.


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

You can have them with beef!

er okay, thanks.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> That leaf jacket is the best thing I've ever seen.


Yes, that's what I meant really.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

Oh no that pet craft kit is the best thing I've ever seen.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 27, 2009)

They're gonna make a killing with that air guitar.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

No I mean the air guitar is. The best thing I've ever seen.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

So who's won?


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

Howard's team has got to win. They had the leaf jacket.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

That leaf jacket was AWFUL!


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

It was the best thing I have ever seen.


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

And they had the polystyrene cat to push coloured drawing pins into.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

well I suppose it was shiny,  I do like shiny.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

OUCH!  that was close!  Bye Bye Lorraine.


----------



## wiskey (May 27, 2009)

oh no! 

Deborah stays


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

noone wanted the leaf jackets


----------



## zoooo (May 27, 2009)

Okay, joking aside. Where can I get one of those ponchos!?


----------



## strung out (May 27, 2009)

james gets to stay!


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

Awwww....James is having fun. Sweet!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

That looks like fun!


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

ooooooooooooooooo mummy and daddy!!!

wtf?!


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (May 27, 2009)

best prize ever!


----------



## wiskey (May 27, 2009)

someone actually bought one of those pin things


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

Kate's directing skills lost that task in my opinion. That fryer should have tanked it but the left the purchase details too late.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

I'm not sure that Howard has distinguished himself in any way. He could easily go.


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

Lorraine's little eyes look so confused when people lay into her


----------



## blairsh (May 27, 2009)

Lorraines gonna go. She's been in the spotlight a bit much i think


----------



## wiskey (May 27, 2009)

kate to go, she's never made an impression on me. 

I quite like howard.


----------



## mrsfran (May 27, 2009)

This task drives me mad every year. In my actual real-life job, I am the person who sits talking into the microphone to the people on air (not on a shopping channel). It's no wonder the people on air are so terrifically awful - they're being REALLY BADLY DIRECTED. They're being talked at almost constantly. You try holding a conversation while simultaneously listening to someone telling you what to do in your ear. It's impossible. The job of the director is to only talk to the talent when it's absolutely necessary, not ramble away about what they need to talk about and how they look and what's going on in the background.

And yet, it's always the on-air behaviour that's criticised. BAH.


----------



## stretchy18 (May 27, 2009)

howards stays gotta be

blondie goes

gotta be


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

Yeah but she said 'when the _chips_ are down'


----------



## strung out (May 27, 2009)

lol


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

When the chips were down she ate them and ate them again.


----------



## blairsh (May 27, 2009)

I didn't really like Howard at the start (mostly because he looks a bit creepy) but i quite like him now and hope he stays


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

missfran said:


> This task drives me mad every year. In my actual real-life job, I am the person who sits talking into the microphone to the people on air (not on a shopping channel). It's no wonder the people on air are so terrifically awful - they're being REALLY BADLY DIRECTED. They're being talked at almost constantly. You try holding a conversation while simultaneously listening to someone telling you what to do in your ear. It's impossible. The job of the director is to only talk to the talent when it's absolutely necessary, not ramble away about what they need to talk about and how they look and what's going on in the background.
> 
> And yet, it's always the on-air behaviour that's criticised. BAH.



I agree. As I said before I think Kate's direction blew the fryer sales.


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

He has peg teeth.


----------



## wiskey (May 27, 2009)

nooooooooooooooooooo


----------



## strung out (May 27, 2009)

omfg


----------



## stretchy18 (May 27, 2009)

bollocks hoowards gone......


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

What what what??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

Awww. Poor Howard. Mind you, I didn't really want any of them to go.


----------



## wiskey (May 27, 2009)

looks like its James v lots of women.


----------



## blairsh (May 27, 2009)

Suprised!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

Unbeliveable.


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

I LOVE THE INTERVIEW WEEK


----------



## Addy (May 27, 2009)

Howard, that was a bit of a shock.
But WTF is going on with his nostril? Does he have a cokehole?


----------



## strung out (May 27, 2009)

i put the leash on people who spunk money up the wall


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

I honesty think Howard went because he has peg teeth.


----------



## blairsh (May 27, 2009)

Very much looking forward to the interviews next week, especially Deborah & James


----------



## bi0boy (May 27, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I honesty think Howard went because he has peg teeth.



No it was actually because of his weird eyes.


----------



## clicker (May 27, 2009)

If I had to put £100 on who to win right now......i think I'd pick Debra of the glacial wolf eyes. I didn't think I'd think that.


----------



## trashpony (May 27, 2009)

Nah, it'll be Yasmeena I reckon


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

I want Lorraine to win because that would be weird


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

Ooh ooh interview week. Just wish Ben was still in to get ripped apart. 

I think Howard should have presented solo. 
Kate lost the task but was still the best candidate. 

They had the high price products so is it fair to call him risk adverse this time around?

I'd have rather Lorraine going.


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

By the way I don't think that toy dinosaur would have sold. It was way way overpriced for a toy to be sold on the telly.


----------



## mrsfran (May 27, 2009)

I'm with you EG.

PEG TEETH.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

(((teeth)))


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (May 27, 2009)

Where can I get a red tank top? I want to be like Lorraine.


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

Fatuous Sunbeam said:


> Where can I get a red tank top? I want to be like Lorraine.



Just get some lipstick and draw an upside down mouth on your face


----------



## Grandma Death (May 27, 2009)

Well I think the wrong team lost. The best person of that team also lost. A total surprise.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Just get some lipstick and draw an upside down mouth on your face



That woman who went in the first week had an upside down smile.


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

Debra is only 23?! Jesus I thought she was older than that. 



Spoiler: from your fired end



Yas is surprised he has her business accounts? Has she not heard that Companies House will issue them to anyone (making a guess that she is registered with them) as that's one of their purposes?



It's weird but did anyone notice that if you point a camera at a TV with Yas on it she looks better than she does when you point a camera straight at her.


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

What is that spoiler about?


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (May 27, 2009)

Marius said:


> Debra is only 23?! Jesus I thought she was older than that.



I know I was like    I thought she was more like 28/29


----------



## bi0boy (May 27, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> I know I was like    I thought she was more like 28/29



She's a face mutant


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> What is that spoiler about?



Something about the preview shown at the end of the Your Fired show.


----------



## _angel_ (May 27, 2009)

I thought Debra was in her thirties!


----------



## electrogirl (May 27, 2009)

Debra looks like a WOMAN though.

She's younger than me.

I still wear bows in my hair.


----------



## Voley (May 27, 2009)

Surprised they dumped Howard. I thought he might win it purely because he's not quite as odious as all the others. Apparently not, Srrralan wants a 'big man'.


----------



## Gromit (May 27, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Debra looks like a WOMAN though.
> 
> She's younger than me.
> 
> I still wear bows in my hair.



I had a guilty crush in her. Now that I know she's not in my half age plus seven I got to drop it. Bah!

/cancels ball gag order.


----------



## boing! (May 27, 2009)

I'm pretty shocked Lorraine didn't go tbh. I think she's actually annoying me more than Ben was now! Perhaps not... but still, she is fucking annoying. 

Oddly, up untill this week I thought Kate had it in the bag, but I'm not so certain now. I can see Debra actually in with a chance. They always like someone who's 'come on a jounrey' on these sort of things.


----------



## Voley (May 27, 2009)

How can any of you fancy the people on this programme? They're all totally repulsive. Any fanciability they may possess is utterly drowned in the sea of repugnance that exudes from their every pore, surely?

Discuss in no less than 14 pages, please, with liberal use of the word 'cunt'.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 27, 2009)

boing! said:


> Oddly, up untill this week I thought Kate had it in the bag, but I'm not so certain now. I can see Debra actually in with a chance. They always like someone who's 'come on a jounrey' on these sort of things.



I'm surprised how quickly SirAlan seemed to turn on Kate this week. I'm not her biggest fan -- being an ugly person with no self-confidence I instinctively hate good looking confident people -- but she has done little wrong apart from this week and a brief flirtation with Philip.

For the other tasks she has seemed very good, but suddenly SirAlan is saying that she is not as good as she thinks she is... Which seems odd, but doesn't bode well as I guess it means that SirAlan just doesn't like her...


----------



## Gromit (May 28, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> I'm surprised how quickly SirAlan seemed to turn on Kate this week. I'm not her biggest fan -- being an ugly person with no self-confidence I instinctively hate good looking confident people -- but she has done little wrong apart from this week and a brief flirtation with Philip.
> 
> For the other tasks she has seemed very good, but suddenly SirAlan is saying that she is not as good as she thinks she is... Which seems odd, but doesn't bode well as I guess it means that SirAlan just doesn't like her...


Its a TV show that depends on keeping people guessing, so he throws in an element of doubt every given opportunity.

Plus she starting coasting a bit cause she thought she had it in the bag. Now she'll hopefully pull her finger out again.

By the way did you she the look she gave Lorraine because she was praising Howard for being the best and not her. I went off her a lot then.


----------



## Orangesanlemons (May 28, 2009)

There's a new cassette boy 'remix' of The Apprentice 
I like.


----------



## ymu (May 28, 2009)

It was quite strange that Lorraine survived this week - Howard has been pretty good recently, whereas she has been a disaster throughout. Nick seems to think a lot of her, oddly. She completely fucked up the selling - although Howard should have seen it coming, rather than trust her to do it properly. They're trying to sell a chip fryer for £150 and they didn't mention the one thing that makes it worth that - one tsp of oil for a kilo of chips, or whatever it was. She just kept saying "ooh, that's delicious, I'll have another chip". Hopeless.


----------



## Upchuck (May 28, 2009)

I just watched the show and my Yas was lucky they sold more or she'd have been out the door!  Howard's firing was harsh and I felt Nick's comments to him a bit unpleasant.  Lorraine is one to watch.  

Yas looked good again - watching her try to smile was hilarious.  And I had no idea she was so busty.  Looked like a EE cup in that frock.  Goodness me 

Debra remains vile.  Too pushy and underhanded.


----------



## ymu (May 28, 2009)

She is so going to end up as a shopping channel presenter though.


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (May 28, 2009)

i can't believe i'm the same age as debra and still have a fringe and dye my hair and have a nose piercing and go to uni. i feel so immature


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (May 28, 2009)

Marius said:


> By the way did you she the look she gave Lorraine because she was praising Howard for being the best and not her. I went off her a lot then.


Yes. Went off kate then. i reckon she's a sly one, too.
I hope Yas or the lovely James win.


----------



## Awesome Wells (May 28, 2009)

And noone is commenting on what James wrote in his CV from the trailer for next week? :O


----------



## Paul Russell (May 28, 2009)

Upchuck said:


> I just watched the show and my Yas was lucky they sold more or she'd have been out the door!  Howard's firing was harsh and I felt Nick's comments to him a bit unpleasant.



Yeah, I was getting a bit worried that Yasmina was going to go.

I don't know anything about TV selling, but picking three low-price items seemed a bit extreme -- maybe two low-price and something at around the £100/150 would be a better strategy? Anyway, evil Debra pulled them through.


----------



## King Biscuit Time (May 28, 2009)

What the fuck is going on with Lorraine very occasionally breaking into an Oirish accent for about half a sentence per show.

This week it was while she was selling the fryers. "I'd by because oim aaalways makin' chips for me daaaaaaaughters".


----------



## kabbes (May 28, 2009)

What's all this "Kate was no good this week" rubbish?  Kate was the best one this week, for the simple reason that she chose by far and away the best products!  She chose two products that we subsequently found out were actually best sellers in their category -- doubly impressive since she herself would probably never wear that jacket or use the fryer, which means she was tuning out her own preferences and focussing on the target market.  It isn't her fault that the other two utterly fucked up the selling of those items, so that they sold less than 5% of expectation.

So yeah, she couldn't sell an unsaleable piece of craft nonsense that would take a real expert salesperson to show off properly.  And she didn't know what to do with an air guitar toy (something that really needed to be sold by a pair, not by an individual).  I can't really fault her for that.  She did well where it mattered and didn't do so well when she was given a hospital pass.

I think that Howard has come good in the last few weeks and should have stayed in.  Apparently Sugar "can't afford a good organiser" in this "current tough environment".  I'd say that he can't afford not to have one, but that's by-the-by.  In a way, if he was going to go then at least he genuinely exhibited the attribute that he was accused of -- he really does have a tendency to play things safe.  But I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing.  I don't think that Howard won't take a risk (he pushed for rebranding Margate as a "gay destination", after all); instead I think he takes calculated risks.  This is in stark contrast to Mystic Meg Lorraine, who wants to do things for no reason other than her little toe tells her to do it.

The dinosaur was an interesting example, actually.  Howard considered it long and hard and then rejected it for what I think was absolutely the right reason -- it was too expensive compared with its competition in its marketplace.  He may or may not be wrong about that, but it was sound logic.  Lorraine, on the other hand, just liked it so wanted to sell it.  But, as usual, that "feeling" wasn't strong enough to actually, y'know, _fight_ for it or anything.  There aren't enough rolleyes.

Lorraine doesn't prepare properly, trusts entirely too much in instinct (studies show that people who do this do tend to be right more often than they are wrong but they are still wrong a significant proportion of the time and the consequences are worse when they do make the wrong choice), has virtually zero interpersonal or communication skills, is rather slow on the uptake and does not seek to find the area in the team where she can make the most impact.  She does have positives too, but these are wholly outweighed IMO.  She should have gone long since and this week was certainly the time if not before.

The other team were interesting, don't you think?  It reminded me how awesome Yasmina is as a manager, actually.  She's so good that you don't actually even notice it most of the time, unless you know what you're looking for and look out for it.  She identifies strengths and weaknesses and orders a team to make the most of the former and eliminate the latter.  She manages to get people to do what she wants whilst making them think that it's what they wanted all along.  She takes on board people's opinions but doesn't get overwhelmed.  She's incredibly Machiavellian too -- I think she was maneouvring things yesterday so that if things went wrong, Debra would be in the firing line.  I think that's why she made the product selections she did.  As it happened, though, Debra turned out to be awesome as a TV salesperson and so came through it.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 28, 2009)

kabbes said:


> What's all this "Kate was no good this week" rubbish?  Kate was the best one this week, for the simple reason that she chose by far and away the best products!  She chose two products that we subsequently found out were actually best sellers in their category -- doubly impressive since she herself would probably never wear that jacket or use the fryer, which means she was tuning out her own preferences and focussing on the target market.  It isn't her fault that the other two utterly fucked up the selling of those items, so that they sold less than 5% of expectation.



Yeah, you're probably right. I was having difficulty following it this week as I was watching the football at the same time. 

Edit: my comment that she had a bad week were based mainly on the fact that SirAlan seemed to be dissing her at the end, so I assumed she had fucked up a bit this week.


----------



## jæd (May 28, 2009)

kabbes said:


> What's all this "Kate was no good this week" rubbish?  Kate was the best one this week, for the simple reason that she chose by far and away the best products!



Surallen always runs through the candidates weak points. Kate IMO is the strongest and most believeable candidate. She also managed to tactfully take on Big Gob Lorraine.



kabbes said:


> I think that Howard has come good in the last few weeks and should have stayed in.  Apparently Sugar "can't afford a good organiser" in this "current tough environment".  I'd say that he can't afford not to have one, but that's by-the-by.  In a way, if he was going to go then at least he genuinely exhibited the attribute that he was accused of -- he really does have a tendency to play things safe.  But I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing.  I don't think that Howard won't take a risk (he pushed for rebranding Margate as a "gay destination", after all); instead I think he takes calculated risks.  This is in stark contrast to Mystic Meg Lorraine, who wants to do things for no reason other than her little toe tells her to do it.



I completely agree. The vast majority of business decisions are "playing it safe" decisions. I missed bit of the boardroom but if I had been told I was a bit dull I would remind them of the gayification of Margate. One thing I wonder is whether Nick wants to be the only gay at Amstrad/Viglen...? 



kabbes said:


> The dinosaur was an interesting example, actually.  Howard considered it long and hard and then rejected it for what I think was absolutely the right reason -- it was too expensive compared with its competition in its marketplace.  He may or may not be wrong about that, but it was sound logic.  Lorraine, on the other hand, just liked it so wanted to sell it.  But, as usual, that "feeling" wasn't strong enough to actually, y'know, _fight_ for it or anything.  There aren't enough rolleyes.



Howard is the only one all series (that we know of) to utter the magic words "target market". And bright enough to realise that the Apprentices aren't it.



kabbes said:


> Lorraine doesn't prepare properly, trusts entirely too much in instinct (studies show that people who do this do tend to be right more often than they are wrong but they are still wrong a significant proportion of the time and the consequences are worse when they do make the wrong choice), has virtually zero interpersonal or communication skills, is rather slow on the uptake and does not seek to find the area in the team where she can make the most impact.  She does have positives too, but these are wholly outweighed IMO.  She should have gone long since and this week was certainly the time if not before.



IMO she's only in because she makes good TV. She will go in the next task. She's useless at selling and the only thing she's good at is believing her own BS. Did anyone catch the Producer Girlie telling her to not shout at Kate...? She completely corpsed when selling the Chip Pan. If she hadn't lost it they could've sold a few more...


----------



## Gromit (May 28, 2009)

Granted that on the face of it she got product selection very right but if they such big sellers as we were told had the audience  bought em already. Were sales already saturated? Would a fresher new product had sold better. We'll never know how long they'd been on sake and how well they sold from then on. 

Plus considering before that she was such a good seller why did she not sell this time?

It's a difficult task for ud to judge performance on though due to the fact we only saw part of what went on during 2 hours worth of pitching.  But the main thing that stood out for me was SirAkan shouting at the screen tell them the purchase details. 

Bit of a crap channel mind. The ones I've seen always have the order number on screen with the price so that you don't need to wait for the presenter to tell you. Or the director to prompt them.


----------



## kabbes (May 28, 2009)

^^ We're in agreement there then, jaed.  Only one thing -- in TV lingo, to "corpse" actually, bizarrely, means to get a fit of the giggles.  Don't ask me why.


----------



## kabbes (May 28, 2009)

Marius said:


> Bit of a crap channel mind. The ones I've seen always have the order number on screen with the price so that you don't need to wait for the presenter to tell you. Or the director to prompt them.


I thought that at the time.  But subsequently I wondered if actually they DO display the order number and phone number but that the BBC blocked it out before putting it on 'Prentice.


----------



## Awesome Wells (May 28, 2009)

kabbes said:


> What's all this "Kate was no good this week" rubbish?  Kate was the best one this week, for the simple reason that she chose by far and away the best products!  She chose two products that we subsequently found out were actually best sellers in their category -- doubly impressive since she herself would probably never wear that jacket or use the fryer, which means she was tuning out her own preferences and focussing on the target market.  It isn't her fault that the other two utterly fucked up the selling of those items, so that they sold less than 5% of expectation.
> 
> So yeah, she couldn't sell an unsaleable piece of craft nonsense that would take a real expert salesperson to show off properly.  And she didn't know what to do with an air guitar toy (something that really needed to be sold by a pair, not by an individual).  I can't really fault her for that.  She did well where it mattered and didn't do so well when she was given a hospital pass.
> 
> ...



someone's got a fan


----------



## jæd (May 28, 2009)

kabbes said:


> ^^ We're in agreement there then, jaed.  Only one thing -- in TV lingo, to "corpse" actually, bizarrely, means to get a fit of the giggles.  Don't ask me why.



What's TV lingo for "stood there looking stupid and mumbling something about chips"...?


----------



## LJo (May 28, 2009)

I really thought they'd picked a winner with that jacket. I hoped it would be this year's Wolf Jacket.

Anyone remember the legendary Wolf Jacket? It sold out, I believe...


----------



## Awesome Wells (May 28, 2009)

stupid task: Sir A doesn't judge people on their TV talent, and then does so. Sir A thinks that the losing team made the right choices. Um.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 28, 2009)

LJo said:


> I really thought they'd picked a winner with that jacket. I hoped it would be this year's Wolf Jacket.
> 
> Anyone remember the legendary Wolf Jacket? It sold out, I believe...




Funnier is James' reaction on seeing it for the first time:


----------



## _angel_ (May 28, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> stupid task: Sir A doesn't judge people on their TV talent, and then does so. Sir A thinks that the losing team made the right choices. Um.



I know!

As if any of it had anything to do with .. anything other than being able to be a TV presenter???


???

I'd like to know how he selects his candidates when they're not on telly.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 28, 2009)

Anyone seen this yet? http://cassetteboy.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/the-bloody-apprentice/


----------



## LJo (May 28, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Funnier is James' reaction on seeing it for the first time:



Ah, happy memories.

They still sell them down my local market.


----------



## Paul Russell (May 28, 2009)

LJo said:


> Ah, happy memories.
> 
> They still sell them down my local market.



I spotted a variant just the other day. You have to look closely to make out the wolf though... Camouflage, I guess.


----------



## hektik (May 28, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Anyone seen this yet? http://cassetteboy.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/the-bloody-apprentice/



damn you, i was just about to post that.

TOP CLASS.


----------



## Gromit (May 28, 2009)

On the subject of the jacket,

They didn't sell because of who modeled it. I might haven looked ok on kate but Lorraine didn't look glamourous she looked stupid.


----------



## boing! (May 29, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Anyone seen this yet? http://cassetteboy.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/the-bloody-apprentice/


----------



## belboid (May 29, 2009)

kabbes said:


> What's all this "Kate was no good this week" rubbish?  Kate was the best one this week, for the simple reason that she chose by far and away the best products!


but then did absolute shite at the other two parts of the task. To an extent, she was fuycked with that awful dog thing, but she didn't practise!  She didn't know how to play the guitar! Didn't direct at all, utterly fucking hopeless.  What saved her there was that the other two were equally useless.  And she did choose the two good items.




> I think that Howard has come good in the last few weeks and should have stayed in.  Apparently Sugar "can't afford a good organiser" in this "current tough environment".  I'd say that he can't afford not to have one, but that's by-the-by.


Every company needs one, but not necessarilly in that role.  



> I don't think that Howard won't take a risk (he pushed for rebranding Margate as a "gay destination", after all);


actually it was proposed by James, Howard came in when wotsername, Mona was grumpiung about it, but it was James' idea.  No kudos should go to Howward for choosing it (tho he did do a bloody good job at his parts of it)

He was the weakest of the three candidates from that team, a good lieutenant, but not a leader.

James should consider himself bloody lucky there lot won, cos he'd have gone on the same basis, and probably would do next week, were it ot for his being the last bloke, which may help him survive for one last bash.


----------



## Awesome Wells (May 29, 2009)

There is no fucking way on this green earth that Debra is 23. 

Not without the assistance of some kind of Third Reich medical experimentation.


----------



## electrogirl (May 29, 2009)

I want Lorraine to stay in just because I find her hilarious. Her whole face and look for a start, and her confused little eyes when people are mean to her and her cheeky smile when she likes something, like that robot cat thing. I also liek how unphased she is by people basically HATING her.

I want to go to a fancydress party as her.


----------



## editor (May 29, 2009)

Fantastic video. 

It's gotta be Kate to win this one.


----------



## ymu (May 29, 2009)

I think James is in with a shout. Suralun likes his sense of humour and the fact that everyone gets on with him. That scene where it looked like he was being told off for clowning around onscreen ended up as a compliment on his interpersonal skills.


----------



## Nanker Phelge (May 29, 2009)

ymu said:


> I think James is in with a shout. Suralun likes his sense of humour and the fact that everyone gets on with him. That scene where it looked like he was being told off for clowning around onscreen ended up as a compliment on his interpersonal skills.



Agreed - look at the bloke that won last year.

Big Al loves a nice/dim bloke that cares enought to get a tear in their eye.

A James/Debra final would make cracking telly.


----------



## Awesome Wells (May 29, 2009)

Kate for the fail.

James should win, he's everything that Lee wasn't (ie funny).

Plus in these difficult financial times you want someone who can 'put the niche on people who spunk money up against the wall'.


----------



## spanglechick (May 29, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> Kate for the fail.
> 
> James should win, he's everything that Lee wasn't (ie funny).
> 
> Plus in these difficult financial times you want someone who can '*put the niche on* people who spunk money up against the wall'.



'put a leash on...', surely?


----------



## Awesome Wells (May 29, 2009)

maybe that was it. It didn't sound terribly clear to me. Probably a load of codshit.


----------



## Gromit (May 29, 2009)

Spoiler: Shocking: Apprentice Winner Unveiled!!!!


----------



## Voley (May 29, 2009)

Vintage Paw said:


> Anyone seen this yet? http://cassetteboy.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/the-bloody-apprentice/



Oh that's ace.


----------



## Chester Copperpot (May 29, 2009)

Marius said:


> Spoiler: Shocking: Apprentice Winner Unveiled!!!!




Not going to read this but I though the final hadn't been filmed yet????


----------



## Hellsbells (May 29, 2009)

The Doctor said:


> Not going to read this but I though the final hadn't been filmed yet????



I clicked on it, b'cos it was there and i just had to. It's not a real spoiler, i'm pleased to say! 
Evil


----------



## electrogirl (May 29, 2009)

What do you mean it's not a real spoiler? 

It's really fucking me off being there anyway.


----------



## Santino (May 29, 2009)

The Doctor said:


> Not going to read this but I though the final hadn't been filmed yet????


It's on the weekend after this one so they'd better get a shift on.


----------



## Santino (May 29, 2009)

It's an hilarious picture of someone who isn't even in the running.


----------



## beeboo (May 29, 2009)

Nanker Phelge said:


> Agreed - look at the bloke that won last year.
> 
> Big Al loves a nice/dim bloke that cares enought to get a tear in their eye.
> 
> A James/Debra final would make cracking telly.



I don't think James will win because he's a bit toooo similar to Lee from last year.

Much as I love James, I don't think he's 'The Apprentice'

I'd still put my money on Kate, but I'm starting to see a bit more potential in Debra as a 'diamond in the rough'. 

Also, I increasingly have no idea of what Suralan's 'vast business empire' actually consists of, so it really depends what he actually has in mind for his latest protege.  I think Debra would be absolutely brilliant in some roles, but a complete disaster in others.


----------



## ymu (May 29, 2009)

Kate's out - he has her pegged as all style, no substance. Been going downhill since the week Phil went.

Debra's out - he hates people who are difficult to work with.

Lorraine's (surely) out - she's a loose cannon and a slow thinker.

Yasmina is in the final by default - hasn't shone, hasn't come under fire, no idea what SA thinks of her.

James is in the final - has had high praise for management skills from NickMargaret, and SA likes him.


----------



## Gromit (May 29, 2009)

Last year they knocked more than one out at interview and they were told that from the start. I wonder if that will happen this time.

and yes I'm afraid my spoiler was a wind up. Although techincally true it is a pic of last year's winner. I couldn't help but wonder who couldn't resist looking


----------



## ymu (May 29, 2009)

I thought they got it down to the final two at the interview stage?


----------



## Gromit (May 29, 2009)

ymu said:


> Debra's out - he hates people who are difficult to work with.


 
I'm in two minds out how difficult she is to work with. Yes she is gobby but have you noticed that when people tell her to shut it now she does in fact shut it.

She can charm the birds from the trees when she is selling so its not like she can't talk nicely at all.

If Sir Alan really wants an Apprentice then she has the raw material and is young enough to be shaped. The only main bit of chiseling he needs to do is on her temperament. Well she is only 23 competing against other strong characters. I think she'd calm down under his wing.

I'm not making any guesses though about who the final two will be. The interviews have a habit tearing things up.


----------



## Santino (May 29, 2009)

Marius said:


> Last year they knocked more than one out at interview


This leads to nothing but trouble in my experience.


----------



## belboid (May 29, 2009)

ymu said:


> I thought they got it down to the final two at the interview stage?



only one fired after last years' interviews, and four through to the 'final'


----------



## beeboo (May 29, 2009)

Marius said:


> I'm not making any guesses though about who the final two will be. The interviews have a habit tearing things up.



The interview stage is really just an excuse to get rid of remaining people they don't want in the process IMO.  It's the one stage that is not down to the mercy of who wins or loses a task and the outcome can easily be twisted any which way.

At the moment, Lorraine is the only one I'd be utterly surprised to see in the final two.


----------



## Littlelostlamb (May 29, 2009)

For those Yasmina fans.. she calls herself mina for short


----------



## Addy (May 29, 2009)

My wife had to show Paula around a venue today.
A dizzy bimbo was her opinion of her 

3rd Lorraine
2nd Debra
1st James


----------



## Sunspots (May 30, 2009)

Orangesanlemons said:


> There's a new cassette boy 'remix' of The Apprentice
> I like.



I don't watch the show, but... 

Cassetteboy wins again.


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 1, 2009)

Littlelostlamb said:


> For those Yasmina fans.. she calls herself mina for short



Such a pretty name


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 1, 2009)

Littlelostlamb said:


> For those Yasmina fans.. she calls herself mina for short



Oh yeah, I did a quick Google the other day when I was super-bored and she really does run a restaurant with her brother. On the outskirts of Reading. And it's quite posh.

I always assume the candidates have a load of bullshit on their CV and that she had a part-time job in Burgerking or something...

Edit: like the guy who said he was an "Internet Entrepreneur" when he had a website that he had sold a couple of lightbulbs from or something.


----------



## souljacker (Jun 1, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Oh yeah, I did a quick Google the other day when I was super-bored and she really does run a restaurant with her brother. On the outskirts of Reading. And it's quite posh.
> 
> .


 
Indeed she does. It's called Myalacarte, on Prospect Street in my lovely home town of Caversham. 

Quite a few people round here know her well, she's sound apparently and a bit of a laugh. I also know how well she does in the show!


----------



## strung out (Jun 3, 2009)

interview round tonight!


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

Quick, to your telly apprentice fans!  There's an apprentice special on RIGHT NOW!!!


----------



## Vintage Paw (Jun 3, 2009)

James ftw.


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 3, 2009)

souljacker said:


> Indeed she does. It's called Myalacarte, on Prospect Street in my lovely home town of Caversham.
> 
> Quite a few people round here know her well, she's sound apparently and a bit of a laugh. I also know how well she does in the show!



Yeah, I had a quick dig around when bored and found some nice pics of her at the restaurant and stuff about other contestants that was quite interesting.

But stopped when I got the impression that it would be very easy to find out *too much* very easily. 

So no hints or whatever from anyone please.  

Edit: actually, it's my own fault for starting it. Slapped wrists for me...


----------



## Upchuck (Jun 3, 2009)

I reckon Yasmina, Kate, and James will get the boot tonight.

If it's only one who goes i think it will be James to set up a catfight all woman final.


----------



## Chester Copperpot (Jun 3, 2009)

God I hate Claude!! 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/episode-extras/video/item_200193.shtml


----------



## Vintage Paw (Jun 3, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Yeah, I had a quick dig around when bored and found some nice pics of her at the restaurant and stuff about other contestants that was quite interesting.
> 
> But stopped when I got the impression that it would be very easy to find out *too much* very easily.
> 
> ...



Even typing "Apprentice Spoiler" I'm not getting anything but complete conjecture. I want to know who wins, dammit


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

Yay, it's the James story!


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

Hmm, feint praise for James from nick and Marge


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

Is no-one else watching this?


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

i am.  i love james.


----------



## Gromit (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm thinking all are worthy from listening to the final five prog. Okay i know thats the idea of the programne but still   

However I think James has been shown up as the weakest of the lot. A very good manager but not an exceptional individual who is going to make SirAlan millions. Shame as I do like him.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

*settles in after watching the final 5 programme*


----------



## strung out (Jun 3, 2009)

lorraine is looking good after that program


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 3, 2009)

Upchuck said:


> I reckon Yasmina, Kate, and James will get the boot tonight.
> 
> If it's only one who goes i think it will be James to set up a catfight all woman final.



Eh, I think the exact opposite - Yasmina, Kate, and James are easily the best three.

I can just imagine SirAlan saying to both Debra and Lorraine

"Sorry love, but with all due respect, I think you would drive me blaaddy mad!"

How many go tonight???


----------



## strung out (Jun 3, 2009)

3


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

Final on Sunday


----------



## girasol (Jun 3, 2009)

ohhh, maybe Debra will win.  How cute was she when she was little??? Bless


----------



## BlackArab (Jun 3, 2009)

James cannot win, the howls of misogyny from last year will see to that. He'll be lucky to make the last two.


----------



## Gromit (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm rather over stimulated tonight. Soo excited.  

In James' words a little bit of wee has seeped out.


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

I've just realised James is just like an older, more intelligent Neil from the Inbetweeners


----------



## Gromit (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm thinking it's going to be a single sacking only tonight. 

Unless people really mess up.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

jeesusgod I'm glad I don't work in the corporate world....


----------



## Gromit (Jun 3, 2009)

That interviewer doesn't know what an SLA is? Muppet!


----------



## moomoo (Jun 3, 2009)

I really, really hate Lorraine.


----------



## Lakina (Jun 3, 2009)

Is Karen Brady still being investigated by the police?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Oh Yasmina


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 3, 2009)

"I have your accounts"

"How did you get those?"

"Errr, they're a public document"

"Oh"



Oh dear


----------



## Lakina (Jun 3, 2009)

Yeah, she is screwed


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

very good very good GOOD! GOOOOD!!!


----------



## strung out (Jun 3, 2009)

james is fucked


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

yasmina is a maths vacuum!  see also the sandalwood disaster.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

She's a bad liar, eh.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

i think 3 will go. interesting......


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

why do they lie???????

have they never watched the programme before?


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

derba really needs to stop attacking people


----------



## strung out (Jun 3, 2009)

a good style of ignorance


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 3, 2009)

"I put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall"


Who in their right mind puts that on a CV/questionnaire


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> "I put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall"
> 
> 
> Who in their right mind puts that on a CV/questionnaire



*scribbles line out of CV*


----------



## cybertect (Jun 3, 2009)

James is cracking me up


----------



## moomoo (Jun 3, 2009)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> "I put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall"
> 
> 
> Who in their right mind puts that on a CV/questionnaire



Is that where I've been going wrong with my jobhunting then?


----------



## Belushi (Jun 3, 2009)

'Its a good style of ignorance'


----------



## Lakina (Jun 3, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> why do they lie???????
> 
> have they never watched the programme before?



They are the dumbest of the dumb.  Except there are even dumber people out there who will probably enter next year.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

I need a brandy just watching this


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

She's just admitted to being a Bloke's Chick


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Oh I'm so cool, I love men, women are bitchy and girlie, I'm a boy's girl.

fuck off kate.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

I've always quite liked Debra.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I've always quite liked Debra.



She's been the clear front runner from the start imo.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Lorraine playing the emotional survivor card


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

story said:


> Lorraine playing the emotional survivor card



innit!


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

There it is. Debra's won it right there with that answer


----------



## Lakina (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm sure Kate is an android.


----------



## N_igma (Jun 3, 2009)

Sweet suffering fuck!


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

at this point I wouldnt hire any of them but I can see Kate winning this...shame...cos I was hoping Yas would 

James is a nob!


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

Lakina said:


> I'm sure Kate is an android.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

and into the boardroom!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Remember when Kate did the sidey mouth thing in the first episode? She never did it again. Weird.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Do they do their own make-up for this show or do they get done up by the professionals?


----------



## Jon-of-arc (Jun 3, 2009)

story said:


> She's been the clear front runner from the start imo.



Yes, except that the fact Debra is obviously horrible and unlikeable calls all her other qualities into doubt.  

Mina fucked herself, surely?

James is just thick.

Lorraine is as unlikeable as Debra, with none of the redeeeming factors.

Kate is boring and will probably win.

None of them deserve to get through...


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Alan pwned


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

I like Margaret's furry jawline


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Alan looks cute when he is listening sometimes.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

yasmina repressented well by the interviewers - except claude who got pwned by surallan himself.

if not james, i like her best.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Sralun or pwned Alan?

Is that chap's name Alan? The interviewer chap?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

haha oh god, good timing from us story!


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)




----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

I fucking hate women who slag off women as a stereotype.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

...while herself being a stereotype


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Debra is NOT 23.


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Alan looks cute when he is listening sometimes.



 i know


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

No? Not 23?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

I refuse to believe it.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

james and lorraine are def. out.


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

who's going home today then...my bet is on................................












































.........................James the nobbing nobber   oops and Lorraine of course


----------



## moomoo (Jun 3, 2009)

story said:


> No? Not 23?



She looks much older.  Perhaps she has just had a hard life.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

love lorraine's shoes, btw.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Is that the sidey mouth you meant?

(Kate's)


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> james and lorraine are def. out.



Yup.  If they whittle it down to two tonight, I'm not sure at all who the third person will be.  Yasmina?


----------



## blairsh (Jun 3, 2009)

Deborahs got a weird face. Nice eyes but weird face and that will be her undoing...


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Yup.  If they whittle it down to two tonight, I'm not sure at all who the third person will be.  Yasmina?



i think the other three are at evens.


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Deborahs got a weird face. Nice eyes but weird face and that will be her undoing...




Cruel


----------



## Lakina (Jun 3, 2009)

Debra and Kate go through


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Adam and Joe say Debra has a face like a plate.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

i think its yas to go


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Aw, one last fond look around


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

There's something cool about all them girls sitting in a row.


----------



## blairsh (Jun 3, 2009)

Aw, James looked well gutted!


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Why is Debra crying?


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> There's something cool about all them girls sitting in a row.



Shatter those glass ceilings, girls


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Relief probs. And cos James was such a little cute meerkatface.


----------



## 1927 (Jun 3, 2009)

story said:


> Why is Debra crying?



They've all got a moist eye!


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

1927 said:


> They've all got a moist eye!



Bloody women


----------



## strung out (Jun 3, 2009)

women


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

correct me pls if i'm wrong but will this be the first to be won by a woman?!


----------



## strung out (Jun 3, 2009)

nope, that woman won the same year that the badger came second

oh and then she got pregnant by one of the other contestants and had to leave early


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

softybabe said:


> correct me pls if i'm wrong but will this be the first to be won by a woman?!



badger

I don't know I only watched this and last series.


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Relief probs. And cos James was such a little cute meerkatface.



LOLZ oh mi gosh...you evil person


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

softybabe said:


> correct me pls if i'm wrong but will this be the first to be won by a woman?!


there was the blonde girl who got pregnant and left.


----------



## blairsh (Jun 3, 2009)

softybabe said:


> correct me pls if i'm wrong but will this be the first to be won by a woman?!



Don't think so. Didn't some checkout woman win it once?


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Baaaah!


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> badger
> 
> I don't know I only watched this and last series.



ah!!!! thanks...'tis mi old mind going


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

softybabe said:


> LOLZ oh mi gosh...you evil person



he was a cute little meercatface!!!


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Lorraine looks relieved


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

thing is - surallan did the thing where he compared yasmina to his own roots in business.

i'm hoping that will be enough.


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

blairsh said:


> Don't think so. Didn't some checkout woman win it once?



she wasnt a checkout girl was she?  That was Leona...the singer


----------



## cybertect (Jun 3, 2009)

softybabe said:


> correct me pls if i'm wrong but will this be the first to be won by a woman?!



No. It's been won by a woman before. Michelle Dewberry won series 2

e2a:


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

so far, so predictable, but now who...


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Oh I like that expression:

If you take care of your character, then your reputation will take care of itself


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

michelle dewberry


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

here we go............................


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Actually, Debra's face is more like a rhombus.


----------



## blairsh (Jun 3, 2009)

Fembot is in the final!


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

cybertect said:


> No. It's been won by a woman before. Michelle Dewberry won series 2
> 
> e2a:



Ta!


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


----------



## story (Jun 3, 2009)

Well I didn't lose any money on a bet, at least.


----------



## N_igma (Jun 3, 2009)

Surprise there.


----------



## Dovydaitis (Jun 3, 2009)

!!!!!! debra!!!!!!!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Debra sounded WELL weird when she said her last words.

I thought her blue eyes were going to kill them dead.


----------



## blairsh (Jun 3, 2009)

HAHAHAHA! See you later massiveface!


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

Kate and Yas.....................................mud fight!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

sexy final


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Sexyface Philip is back dancing and prancing around!!!


----------



## softybabe (Jun 3, 2009)

final is on Sunday?!  I reckon that finger was pointing at Yasmina


----------



## Jon-of-arc (Jun 3, 2009)

Mina must win!  And won't...


----------



## scooter (Jun 3, 2009)




----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

I actually think I'll miss Debra, and I can't believe I'm saying that


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

OKAY I would totally bone Debra all night long.


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

Whoo Debra is looking HOT!


----------



## BlackArab (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> OKAY I would totally bone Debra all night long.



I will sleep well thinking of your post!







you have excellent taste though


----------



## Gromit (Jun 3, 2009)

beeboo said:


> I actually think I'll miss Debra, and I can't believe I'm saying that



I'll miss her. See how upset she was for James. She's a big softy really under that hard shell. I think SirAlan can see that she'll succeed on her own. Maybe even better than he would have under him. In fact she took it rather well I thought.  



electrogirl said:


> OKAY I would totally bone Debra all night long.



Me too to be honest.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

I have always found her weirdy attractive, but tonight she is looking stone cold hotness.


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 3, 2009)

Yes. Great that Yasmina's still in.

The 8 pm show tonight was a good reminder of what a total prick Phillip was...


----------



## big eejit (Jun 3, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Yes. Great that Yasmina's still in.
> 
> The 8 pm show tonight was a good reminder of what a total prick Phillip was...



All true. 

Re Debra, I hate all this 'if a man had behaved like that it would be normal' bollox. If a man behaved like that you think he was a rude prick. Like Phillip.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 3, 2009)

gosh, lorraine's washed her hair and taken advice re: her lipstick!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

I still like Lorraine, I think she's clever and totes lacking in social skills, which is quite endearing.


----------



## beeboo (Jun 3, 2009)

Whoever is doing wardrobe hair and make up tonight is earning their money


----------



## ChrisC (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm hot for Debra in a weird kind of way.


----------



## Voley (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> totes



Christ.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

NVP said:


> Christ.


----------



## Voley (Jun 3, 2009)




----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 3, 2009)

Much as I love Yasmina, I found the revelation that she had sold her mother for £33 and a Pot Noodle or whatever it was to set up her business a bit of a negative point...

Anyway, great episode, with some actual -- or probably purely fictional -- tension between the people doing the interviews tonight...


----------



## Gromit (Jun 3, 2009)

I smiled all the way through 'Your Fired' but now I'm slightly sad as I'm going to really miss seeing James on screen as well as missing Debra after the mad crush I've slowly developed for her.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

NVP said:


>



ugh you make me bare sick blates


----------



## Voley (Jun 3, 2009)

You fancy people off The Apprentice? You're mental.


----------



## Voley (Jun 3, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> ugh you make me bare sick blates



I agree.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 3, 2009)

Yeah I fancy Debra and Philip. And I'm not just saying I think Debra is attractive, I would actually like to have genuine full sex with her.


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 3, 2009)

NVP said:


> You fancy people off The Apprentice? You're mental.



Really, you are the voice of reason, but something odd happens if you watch too many episodes...


----------



## zoooo (Jun 3, 2009)

*wets self at big totes*

I am going to miss James.


----------



## Voley (Jun 3, 2009)

I was hoping it'd be Debra vs Kate in the final, tbh. Debra would've forgotten all that 'I've learned my lesson' nonsense and tried to destroy her. possibly by literally clawing her eyes out. 

Kate'll beat Yasmina I reckon. I don't think all that 'you're a robot' stuff bothers Srrralan much really. He just had to find something wrong with her.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 3, 2009)

I know the reason Kate likes working with men. They all fancy her and treat her like a princess!
It's not 'cos all women are bitches.
Silly sausage.


----------



## ymu (Jun 3, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Much as I love Yasmina, I found the revelation that she had sold her mother for £33 and a Pot Noodle or whatever it was to set up her business a bit of a negative point...


This. It's not just getting her mum to put all her security on the line when she and her brother didn't put up a penny, but they only gave their mum a 1% share in the business!

Very surprised they glossed over that one so quickly - be interested to know what they edited out.


----------



## weltweit (Jun 3, 2009)

I share Sir Alans concerns, why would someone who already runs a business want to become his lacky rather than run their own business. 

What is going to happen to her business while she is working for Sir Alan?

If I was running a successful resteraunt there is no way I would be on the Apprentice.


----------



## weltweit (Jun 3, 2009)

Kate to win. 

By far the more composed of the two finalists, and that is a good thing. 

Mind you the final task seems to be a bit of a lottery.


----------



## Part 2 (Jun 3, 2009)

Very surprised to see Debra go after tonight, she came across much better than in the rest of the series in fact I'd not be surprised if he's given her a job aswell.

No way is Yasmina getting the job, not a chance. The sandalwood debacle saw to that long ago, Sugar wouldn't have allowed it to be shown. 

The only slight negatives shown throughout about Kate have been opinions about character, nothing at all to do with performance or ability.

Worst series of TA I've seen, I rarely watch much telly and never take notice of editing but this show is so formulaic now the whole thing is played out.


----------



## Combustible (Jun 4, 2009)

It seemed like James applied for a joke, putting in stupid answers on the application form and submitting an old CV.


----------



## tarannau (Jun 4, 2009)

Chip Barm said:


> No way is Yasmina getting the job, not a chance. The sandalwood debacle saw to that long ago, Sugar wouldn't have allowed it to be shown.



My gut feel too. Old market trader Sugar won't ever employ someone who can't understand basic terms like turnover and profit. 

You've got to wonder what Yasmina exactly contributes to her restaurant. She can't cook, has low quality standards (mmm giant bruschetta with value tomatoes) and doesn't understand basic business finance. Her brother must be the logical head of the operation. And she's a bloody finalist to boot.

I still like her more than most of the other goms though.


----------



## beeboo (Jun 4, 2009)

weltweit said:


> Kate to win.
> 
> By far the more composed of the two finalists, and that is a good thing.
> 
> Mind you the final task seems to be a bit of a lottery.



The final task is a bit of a red herring though.  Don't they both get to work with him for months, and record two alternate endings.  The one that gets shown is based on the opinion formed over the months they've been working with him, not the final task.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 4, 2009)

weltweit said:


> I share Sir Alans concerns, why would someone who already runs a business want to become his lacky rather than run their own business.
> 
> What is going to happen to her business while she is working for Sir Alan?
> 
> If I was running a successful resteraunt there is no way I would be on the Apprentice.


because maybe the restaurant isn't succesful and she wants out?

or maybe she was kinda forced out or something?


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Jun 4, 2009)

NVP said:


> Kate'll beat Yasmina I reckon. I don't think all that 'you're a robot' stuff bothers Srrralan much really. He just had to find something wrong with her.



But his 'reservations' about Mina are equally shakey. In fact at one point he was bleating on about what an amazing job the winner would get, and then in the next breath asked Yasmina why on earth she wanted it.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 4, 2009)

Combustible said:


> It seemed like James applied for a joke, putting in stupid answers on the application form and submitting an old CV.


don't worry he has a career starring in On The Buses.


----------



## Stoat Boy (Jun 4, 2009)

I dont like Kate at all. I started off disliking Deborah very much but as it went on I thought that she was somebody who had some great qualities which were over-shadowed by a bitch of a personality but she is only 23 and a lot of that is probably down to immaturity. 

He was wrong to let her go and I suspect he knew it. Kate has played the game very well and has not really put a foot wrong so she deserves to be in the final but she is not to be trusted in the slightest but the other one, nah. Trouble. Real trouble.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 4, 2009)

Is Lorraine Irish?


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Jun 4, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> Is Lorraine Irish?



Only under pressure.


When they showed her CV you could see she had taken Honours? instead of GCSE's/O-levels, So I guess she must have grown up in Ireland at least. 

Very odd how the accent flits back and forth over the Irish Sea though!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Jun 4, 2009)

Poor James.

I felt really sorry for him at the interview.  I've had an interview like that.  Horrible.


----------



## Upchuck (Jun 4, 2009)

I never thought James was anything great - when he bowed to the crowd in _You're Fired_ for me it confirmed he was a bit of a fake, bit of a muppet.  With Yasmina I expected family money to be behind the business as culturally family is a big thing for middle easterners especially where business is concerned and food, keeping the money in the family and supporting the kids, and I was surprised the parents and extended family were not more financially involved.  Tre was caught out a few series back by working and being successful all in family businesses.  
Kate is pretty but flat, however I can see her going on and being successful in business.  Debra will also do well regardless, although if people submit complaints about her on a regular basis it will make her a liability.  Lorraine was just clever, unconventional but clever.


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 4, 2009)

GO MINA!

kate really irritates me.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 4, 2009)

kabbes kabbes kabbes kabbes......

I sense it is coming, the kabbes post is coming..


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 4, 2009)

beeboo said:


> The final task is a bit of a red herring though.  Don't they both get to work with him for months, and record two alternate endings.  The one that gets shown is based on the opinion formed over the months they've been working with him, not the final task.



Really? Details??


----------



## kabbes (Jun 4, 2009)

I am not reading this thread at the moment.  I have the quickpost box open in the window and nothing else.  But I wanted to say that I haven't seen it yet and won't do until the weekend.  I'm trying to avoid spoilers, which isn't going so well -- on my journey into work this morning I saw out of the corner of my eye a tabloid screaming: "LORRAINE: I SHOULD BE IN THE FINAL, NOT YASMINA AND KATE!"  So that's a fail after just about 1 hour into my attempt to be spoiler free.  Le sigh.

Anyway, I'm desperately looking forward to seeing it, because it's always the best episode despite the fact that UNSTRUCTURED INTERVIEWS ARE CONSISTENTLY SHOWN TO BE THE VERY WORST WAY OF SELECTING A CANDIDATE!  Aaaargh!  Drives me mad, it does.  They should be used ONLY as an initial step to weed out the clearly unsuitable.  

Team exercises, incidentally, are shown to be not a great deal better either.  The Apprentice uses two of the statistically worst ways of recruitment.  And it uses them in the wrong order.  Ho-hum.

Still, great telly and I'm looking forward to watching it.  But no more responses from me on this thread until I do!


----------



## Gromit (Jun 4, 2009)

fakeplasticgirl said:


> Really? Details??


 
The last task of every Apprentice has always been a subjective task so that SirAlan can swing whichever way he wants to. 

Like who can throw the best party. Remember that one? No profit involved. Just a knees up.

I must admit though that its naughty that he gets to try both out for real before the decision is made.


----------



## belboid (Jun 4, 2009)

An amusing episode.  James completely exposed as a less posh Tim Nice But Dim, Lorraine just a bit out of her depth/comfort zone.  Both of them really needed to do something special in their interviews, but they just did especially badly.  hey ho.

For peoplpe who had explicitly been chosen by Debra to give those references shows she is incapable of working as part of a real team and so couldn't actually manage anyone herself, it only leaves two options.

Kate will probably win, even tho Mr Evil Interviewer had her down absolutely pat with his final question to her - she's has no personality, no character, just a pretty face and all the learnt lines repeated off pat.


----------



## jæd (Jun 4, 2009)

tarannau said:


> My gut feel too. Old market trader Sugar won't ever employ someone who can't understand basic terms like turnover and profit.
> 
> You've got to wonder what Yasmina exactly contributes to her restaurant. She can't cook, has low quality standards (mmm giant bruschetta with value tomatoes) and doesn't understand basic business finance. Her brother must be the logical head of the operation. And she's a bloody finalist to boot.
> 
> I still like her more than most of the other goms though.



She's the waitress... Head Waitress at most.


----------



## jæd (Jun 4, 2009)

Kate - Most competent person there and the only realistic candidate. I like the way someone who doesn't get emotional and go around shouting at anyone is a "robot". The "other women are bitches" comment was a safe answer to tell men and just enough Media fodder.

Lorrarine - A nightmare. Interview should have ended when she was caught out lieing about the amount of time at a job (And therefore overstating experience).

Debra - The only other competent person. She should have spun the references another way ("They're just jealous") or just got better references.

Yasmina - Useless. If she is Finance Manager she should know her restaurants details off by heart. She isn't, and another liar.

James - he's a bit useless. Shouldn't have been an idiot on his questionaire should have tailored his CV to the role. Outside telecoms no-one knows the abbreviations.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 4, 2009)

kabbes said:


> I love Kate I do, I do I do! Slurpy slurp slurp!



Is it wrong to have wanted the two girls, now alone in the flat, to...


----------



## Gromit (Jun 4, 2009)

belboid said:


> Kate will probably win, even tho Mr Evil Interviewer had her down absolutely pat with his final question to her - she's has no personality, no character, just a pretty face and all the learnt lines repeated off pat.


 
In other words she was very diligent in preparing well for her interview. Wow what a crime! Being well prepared. She'll never do well with a work ethic like that!


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 4, 2009)

jæd said:


> Kate - Most competent person there and the only realistic candidate. I like the way someone who doesn't get emotional and go around shouting at anyone is a "robot". The "other women are bitches" comment was a safe answer to tell men and just enough Media fodder.
> 
> Lorrarine - A nightmare. Interview should have ended when she was caught out lieing about the amount of time at a job (And therefore overstating experience).
> 
> ...


I'm wondering if the production company doesn't have a hand in the manufacturing of the contestant's cv's used for the show. They were all uniform, and quite ugly for starters.


----------



## Donna Ferentes (Jun 4, 2009)

The CVs weren't up to much either.


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 4, 2009)

The interview one is the only part of this circus I watch. Proper stuff.


----------



## tarannau (Jun 4, 2009)

I forgot that Yasmina claimed to be finance director of her family's restaurant. That's pretty shameful for someone who just kept repeating '4% of something' with blank, panicking eyes.

Prefer Yasmina personality to Kate's, but it's a mystery how she's in the final 2. Low standards all round, even more than usual, this time around.


----------



## jæd (Jun 4, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> I'm wondering if the production company doesn't have a hand in the manufacturing of the contestant's cv's used for the show. They were all uniform, and quite ugly for starters.



Most Agencies do that these days too. They copy+paste from your CV to a standard template. And charge 15% for it.


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 4, 2009)

jæd said:


> Yasmina - Useless. If she is Finance Manager she should know her restaurants details off by heart. She isn't, and another liar.


I'm sure she does know al the details but she also lives in the real world.

It's partly a cash business and no one shows all the cash. Nothing she could say without  setting herself up for false accounting and the interviewer knew it. 

It was all about applying pressure and seeing how she reacted. The scene cut at the right moment.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 4, 2009)

I wanted to cringe myself to death when Yas was doing her blinky blank sweatface.


----------



## tarannau (Jun 4, 2009)

Pish. She could at least have her story straight, similar to if she had an appointment with the taxman.


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 4, 2009)

Gromit said:


> The last task of every Apprentice has always been a subjective task so that SirAlan can swing whichever way he wants to.
> 
> Like who can throw the best party. Remember that one? No profit involved. Just a knees up.
> 
> I must admit though that its naughty that he gets to try both out for real before the decision is made.


I don't know, this is the first series I've ever watched. Is the final task filmed after they've both worked for him then?


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 4, 2009)

I thought the figures on her cv were projections anyway - the cv having been submitted this time last year if the adverts for new contestants are anything to go by . . wasn't that clear though.


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 4, 2009)

jæd said:


> Kate - Most competent person there and the only realistic candidate. I like the way someone who doesn't get emotional and go around shouting at anyone is a "robot". The "other women are bitches" comment was a safe answer to tell men and just enough Media fodder.


Indeed. In this ridiculous reality tv circus an educated and considered persona seems to be a detriment.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 4, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I wanted to cringe myself to death when Yas was doing her blinky blank sweatface.


really? I wanted to make love to Claude in the manner of a sweaty frenchman.

Nobody expects the Freedom of Information Act!


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 4, 2009)

.


----------



## jæd (Jun 4, 2009)

Oh, and it looks like Debra has a job lined up from Surallen already...


----------



## belboid (Jun 4, 2009)

Gromit said:


> In other words she was very diligent in preparing well for her interview. Wow what a crime! Being well prepared. She'll never do well with a work ethic like that!



Oh dear, not very good at reading are we?  yes she prepared well, but that's cos she has tool, cos there isn't much behyind the facade. A Tony Blair, all surface.


----------



## Gromit (Jun 4, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> really? I wanted to make love to Claude in the manner of a sweaty frenchman.
> 
> Nobody expects the Freedom of Information Act!


 
Nothing to do with Freedom of Information Act

He got it under the Companies Act which pre-dates FOI.


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 4, 2009)

Those Debra references in full:

"Obnoxious, loud, everybody hated her, swore at people, so we had to put her in a room by herself, but she was good at selling things, but we still had to sack her in the end when we caught her eating babies"

× 20

Debra:

"This show has been a real revelation to me, I've learnt that my behaviour could have an effect on other people, which I'd never realised before. Plus they made me have this semi-perm thing to make me look a bit softer for the after-show. Do you like it?"

Come on, how did she get this far -- she is a good financial trader, freelance baby eater, or whatever, but she could never never work in a team environment.


----------



## Miss Potter (Jun 4, 2009)

Am I the only one disappointed with last night's episode? They didn't show as much of the interviews as normal; apart from a couple of cringey moments there wasn't much of substance at all. The interview episodes in previous series have been much more watchable.


----------



## Gromit (Jun 4, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Come on, how did she get this far -- she is a good financial trader, freelance baby eater, or whatever, but she could never never work in a team environment.


 
One could say the same about Alan Sugar.


----------



## madamv (Jun 4, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> Am I the only one disappointed with last night's episode? They didn't show as much of the interviews as normal; apart from a couple of cringey moments there wasn't much of substance at all. The interview episodes in previous series have been much more watchable.



Yeah, I agree....  Maybe there wasnt as much as normal to glean from the interviews...

However, this is fun.  Apologies if its already on this thread


----------



## Gromit (Jun 5, 2009)

Imagine my horror at suddenly realising that I won't be in the UK for the final!!!

So hope my hotel has free WiFi. I'll watch it on my iPhone's iPlayer instead if so.

How soon after the show is on does the iPlayer version go up?

H'actually TBH its not all that important when i think about it. 
I don't mind who wins out of the two of them. The excitment is now removed that firey Debra and nice but dim James are out of the equation.


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 6, 2009)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8085442.stm

"Apprentice finalist Yasmina Siadatan has revealed that scenes broadcast on Wednesday's show were edited out of sequence, portraying her "unfairly".

The 27-year-old told BBC News she had "made a complete fool" of herself when grilled by Claude Litner as part of a series of interviews for the episode.

On the show, she seemed to tell fellow contestants it had gone well, but those comments came after another interview.

"They cut the wrong exit which was really, really unfair," said Siadatan. 

...

Speaking about her encounter with Sir Alan's former global trouble-shooter, in which she was challenged over her business accounts, Siadatan said: "The whole thing went tits up and I made a complete fool out of myself.

"I walked out and I said: 'Guys that was just terrible - that was a really really awful interview.'"

However, that sequence was never shown. Instead she was seen telling the four other candidates that the interview had been "very good".


----------



## Part 2 (Jun 6, 2009)

Noticed that myself.

It almost confirms she's not got the job, doesn't it


----------



## lilli (Jun 6, 2009)

fakeplasticgirl said:


> Really? Details??



http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/about/workings.shtml



> *How does Sir Alan decide who the winner is?*
> 
> Sir Alan decides the winner on the basis of the final task, the boardroom, and their overall performance throughout the series.  He makes his decision on the day of the final boardroom.  Because there is a gap between the shoot and transmission (to leave time for editing), there is a concern about keeping the secret of who has won during that time, so as not to spoil it for the viewers.  In order to ensure that the secret is kept, two endings are filmed, and Sir Alan doesn’t reveal his decision of who he has chosen to the finalists and the production team until the day before transmission of the final programme.
> 
> ...


----------



## honto (Jun 6, 2009)

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/theapprentice/a158546/margaret-mountford-quits-the-apprentice.html 

Boo, no more Margaret. She is quitting to spend more time on her Papyrology PhD, which has to be a unique TV-quitting reason.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 6, 2009)

But I will miss her hair like a cloud


----------



## Miss Potter (Jun 6, 2009)

I will miss her rolling eyes >>>>>>>  <<<<<<<<

let's hope Nick doesn't decide he can't work without her


----------



## Santino (Jun 6, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> let's hope Nick doesn't decide he can't work without her


He will turn up drunk outside her house at 3.00am halfway through next series, shouting.

'Margaret! Margaret!'

Then he'll do a frown, and lie down on her doorstep to sleep.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Jun 6, 2009)

she is quite hot in an elderly totty kind of way. 

i'd certainly shout on her doorstep.

unfortunately.....


----------



## Miss Potter (Jun 7, 2009)

Santino said:


> He will turn up drunk outside her house at 3.00am halfway through next series, shouting.
> 
> 'Margaret! Margaret!'
> 
> Then he'll do a frown, and lie down on her doorstep to sleep.



I <<heart>> Nick when he does that little frown and then chews on the end of his biro...

Anyways, final tonight guys whoop whoop. It's great when you don't care either way who wins!


----------



## Nanker Phelge (Jun 7, 2009)

I hope the two finalists show a bit of personality tonight.

Both have shown that they can very be competent workers, but neither has shone for me as anything special.

Quite looking forward to Ben and pants man coming back in to the fray and throwing spanners in the works.


----------



## madamv (Jun 7, 2009)

Santino said:


> He will turn up drunk outside her house at 3.00am halfway through next series, shouting.
> 
> 'Margaret! Margaret!'
> 
> Then he'll do a frown, and lie down on her doorstep to sleep.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Jun 7, 2009)

Underwhelmed as I am by Kate's personality, I reckon she's by far the stronger candidate.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

I just stomped into the living room singing that Profokiev intro music boomingly and no one was there


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

Interesting that Kate didn't pick Phillip...


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

wise, i think


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

'This is about romance and passion, we draw the line at sexual acts!'

'It's like Pantsman, they didn't get it at the time, but they will do.' Phillip is soooo ahead of his time.

Haha, brilliant so far.


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> wise, i think



"People will get Pantsman eventually."

NO PHILLIP - THEY WON'T!!!!

You're right eg, it was wise.


----------



## story (Jun 7, 2009)

Ladeez: Have you ever bought chocs for your fancy man?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

story said:


> Ladeez: Have you ever bought chocs for your fancy man?



I bought a boyfriend flowers once and he said it was weird.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Jun 7, 2009)

Kate's getting alot of positive airtime. I reckon she's the winner.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

milly molly said:


> 'This is about romance and passion, we draw the line at sexual acts!'
> 
> 'It's like Pantsman, they didn't get it at the time, but they will do.' Phillip is soooo ahead of his time.
> 
> Haha, brilliant so far.





brix said:


> "People will get Pantsman eventually."
> 
> NO PHILLIP - THEY WON'T!!!!
> 
> You're right eg, it was wise.



I loved that.

'No Philip, that is NOT a good example!!!'

He's never going to get over Pantsman is he?


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

Feminine hygiene products, hahahaha.


CHOCOLATE LOVE!!!!!!


----------



## tommers (Jun 7, 2009)

cocoa electric?!?

give me strength.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 7, 2009)

Idiots.
They've got a really good concept - his, hers and one to share, and they've given it a name that doesn't tell the customer anything about it. Gah.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Chocolate love sounds filthy.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

omg - yasmina's choclates are clearly inedible!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

PHILIP IS BACK ON FORM EVERYBODY.

My boner for him has returned.


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

Phillip is making me CRINGE.


----------



## blairsh (Jun 7, 2009)

Haha! Phillip getting his dancing shoes on.

What a pube


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Nice juxtaposition.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

plus - wasn't the strawberry and basil one green and pink?  it looked grim.

'can i spit it out?'


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> PHILIP IS BACK ON FORM EVERYBODY.
> 
> My boner for him has returned.



I have always had a lot of respect for you, EG, in all matters televisual, but I must say that that is now waning!!


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

Not that it really matters, but that bar's in Balham isn't it?

Not sure it's a good idea to have your actors looking shocked when they eat your chocolates.  Not going to sell them, is it?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

milly molly said:


> I have always had a lot of respect for you, EG, in all matters televisual, but I must say that that is now waning!!





I like his cute dancing! It was cute! 

God basil chocolates, did they ever think they WEREN'T going to ming?!


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

I think Kate is doing pretty well.


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I like his cute dancing! It was cute!
> 
> God basil chocolates, did they ever think they WEREN'T going to ming?!




i) No it wasn't.
ii) God only knows what they were thinking.


----------



## softybabe (Jun 7, 2009)

brix said:


> Interesting that Kate didn't pick Phillip...





electrogirl said:


> wise, i think


 very 

'more exciting than getting married'?  oh dear Yas


----------



## zoooo (Jun 7, 2009)

Bless her. I hope she's not already married.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Philip's electro eyemakeup!! LOVE!!


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

I love Yasmina's dress though.

oooh, look at Philip with the dancing girls. Hahaha.

I think Yaz might win, you know.


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

Yasmina's got a Roland Mouret dress on - tres expensive


----------



## softybabe (Jun 7, 2009)

oh dear! Yas....tis a bit flat...


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

I WANT TO DIE. this is HORRIFIC.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jun 7, 2009)

It's so funny.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

price point is right, though.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

brix said:


> Yasmina's got a Roland Mouret dress on - tres expensive



And GORGEOUS.

Is it a real one?


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

milly molly said:


> And GORGEOUS.
> 
> Is it a real one?



I think they're hideous.

Looks real to me though.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Jun 7, 2009)

I liked Yasmin's concept even if the chocs sound disgusting.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> price point is right, though.



Shame they ming so hard.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

brix said:


> I think they're hideous.
> 
> Looks real to me though.



Really? I realy want one. If I had one, I would wear it always.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

i don't like it on her - her boobs are too big for that neckline - she looks matronly.

she wore the same dress in grey for the tv shopping challenger, iirc.


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

milly molly said:


> Really? I realy want one. If I had one, I would wear it always.




I can promise you that if I am ever given one you can have it.

It's not very likely though.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> i don't like it on her - her boobs are too big for that neckline - she looks matronly.
> 
> she wore the same dress in grey for the tv shopping challenger, iirc.



Yes, but I thought that was one that they have in Dorothy Perkins. Had similar details. I think she looked nice. (((yas)))


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

I thought she looked nice too.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jun 7, 2009)

That grey suit with the red shirt is horrific. Yasmina looked great.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

'i think i've got lorraine's gift'

lulzarama.  i love james


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

I wish Kate would wear less makeup.


----------



## ethel (Jun 7, 2009)

brix said:


> Yasmina's got a Roland Mouret dress on - tres expensive




glad it wasn't just me who noticed that!


----------



## softybabe (Jun 7, 2009)

this is it!!!! cooooooooooooome on YAS!


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Jun 7, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I wish Kate would wear less makeup.


Yep!


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

Yeah, go Yaz!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Come on YAZOO!


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Jun 7, 2009)

I'm more impressed with Yas tonight than I've ever been before. Hope she gets it. Kate'll be OK wherever she is.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Jun 7, 2009)

I still reckon Kate has it in the bag.  

Suralun likes her


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

I had the most horrific vomit-inducingly frightening interview on Friday and now all the questions he asks are making me feel panicky and sick.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jun 7, 2009)

> I still reckon Kate has it in the bag.



No way, she gets too flustered.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

wooooooooooo she's doing well!!


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

yas made a good point (with james) - the only thing she cocked up would have been solved in the first day of development in the real world.


----------



## softybabe (Jun 7, 2009)

FabricLiveBaby! said:


> I still reckon Kate has it in the bag.
> 
> Suralun likes her



reluctantly agree with you  cooooooooooome on Yas!


----------



## brix (Jun 7, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> wooooooooooo she's doing well!!



Yeah, that was heartfelt and passionate.  Well done Yasmina.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

uh oh


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 7, 2009)

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Woooooooooooooooooooooo!


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Jun 7, 2009)

OOOOOh,

I am suprised.

Ed:  good suprise tho.


----------



## Fatuous Sunbeam (Jun 7, 2009)

Yay!


----------



## ricbake (Jun 7, 2009)

I thought he fancied the Blond!!


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


----------



## paulhackett (Jun 7, 2009)

The only way is up


----------



## softybabe (Jun 7, 2009)

woohoo!   yay! Yas!!!!!!!!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

By the way did you see when Nick said he was proud of them? If he said that about me I would cry with happiness.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jun 7, 2009)

I thought it was obvious, she's a much more well rounded candidate.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

what just happened with nick and margaret in the audience?


----------



## story (Jun 7, 2009)

Ruby Wax said something saucy about Margaret.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Jun 7, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> what just happened with nick and margaret in the audience?


margaret had a senior moment


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Jun 7, 2009)

Who invited Woss on?


----------



## softybabe (Jun 7, 2009)

Kate's miss wonky mouth...


----------



## softybabe (Jun 7, 2009)

no Margaret next year


----------



## DJ Squelch (Jun 7, 2009)

No more Margaret. 

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


----------



## mrsfran (Jun 7, 2009)

Margaret Mountford, with her hair like a cloud


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jun 7, 2009)

Dunno about the new hair


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

oh now* that's* a fugly frock!


----------



## trashpony (Jun 7, 2009)

Oh dear - she looks like she's wandered off the set of Star Trek


----------



## 1927 (Jun 7, 2009)

I think she's looking Hot!


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

she looks like she nicked it off an eighties glamour model!


----------



## Epico (Jun 7, 2009)

1927 said:


> I think she's looking Hot!



I agree.


----------



## mrsfran (Jun 7, 2009)

Siralun looks like melted midget playdough action man with bristles stuck on.


----------



## Part 2 (Jun 7, 2009)

Surprised. 

Bloody stupid program, completely inconsistent.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 7, 2009)

missfran said:


> Siralun looks like melted midget playdough action man with bristles stuck on.



he looks *very* tired.


----------



## Jon-of-arc (Jun 7, 2009)

Result of the century!!!


----------



## belboid (Jun 7, 2009)

great isn't it, when the least important part of the _product_ is the actual product? 

clearly better choice, imo.  i've had bosses like kate before, and they always alienate half their staff


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 8, 2009)

Where was the Nuralator?


----------



## belboid (Jun 8, 2009)

any non-whites return for the final?  

Sugar, clearly a racist


----------



## souljacker (Jun 8, 2009)

Nice one Yasmina, flying the flag for Caversham!


----------



## sim667 (Jun 8, 2009)

My mate had heard the winner was yasmina 6 weeks ago, but didnt believe the source!

I could have won loadsa money down the bookies


----------



## strung out (Jun 8, 2009)

the winner was only decided on saturday though


----------



## Epico (Jun 8, 2009)

And you can't bet on the Apprentice, so you didn't miss out down the bookies.


----------



## Santino (Jun 8, 2009)

Was the final task actually meaningful? Neither one of them 'won' it*, so the only thing it tested was whether they could avoid a monumental fuck up under pressure.



*Usually the 'industry experts' would vote to decide that. Perhaps Yas didn't win and so it was edited out.


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 8, 2009)

missfran said:


> Siralun looks like melted midget playdough action man with bristles stuck on.





Or Sid James, of course.

Even though I loved Yasmina for her lovely spots and personality and for selling her mum for 67 p, I did feel a bit sorry for Kate as she really didn't put a foot wrong for the entire series.

(Apart from Philip, who is still convinced that history will be kind to PantsMan, and it will eventually be recognised as a work of deep cultural significance)

Then again, Kate on that aftershow could have been mistaken as a very experienced TV presenter. She is just pretty good at everything -- nothing seems to faze her -- so she will probably have a zillion job offers, including TV stuff.


----------



## clicker (Jun 8, 2009)

I thought the final was always this format....no winner/loser and siralun gets to decide. It's more of a showcase demonstration for the programme.


----------



## foo (Jun 8, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Kate on that aftershow could have been mistaken as a very experienced TV presenter. She is just pretty good at everything -- nothing seems to faze her.



i thought that too! that she would make a good tv presenter i mean.


----------



## madamv (Jun 8, 2009)

Specially as she has a funny geeky celebratory dance....

Kate for Blue Peter...


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 8, 2009)

Those teeth would drive me nuts; it was like staring at the headlights on a 4x4.


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 8, 2009)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8088010.stm

"Siadatan, who owns a restaurant in Kent"

Erm, Reading is not in Kent...


----------



## sim667 (Jun 8, 2009)

strung_out said:


> the winner was only decided on saturday though



Hmmmmm interesting...... 

my mate who told me works in hedgefunds and said he'd heard someone going on about who had 'insider knowledge'....... but my mate didnt believe him..... so we just ignored it......

This guy said he had been to the chocolate presentation which was about 6 weeks ago apparently 

the bloke could have just made a lucky guess.....


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 8, 2009)

sim667 said:


> Hmmmmm interesting......
> 
> my mate who told me works in hedgefunds and said he'd heard someone going on about who had 'insider knowledge'....... but my mate didnt believe him..... so we just ignored it......
> 
> ...



yes - choc presentation was 6 weeks ago.  But they then film 2 endings in the boardroom and work for AMS for 6 weeks.  

Which is why on the aftershow Kate said "when I heard the news".


----------



## madamv (Jun 9, 2009)

It must have been a bit strange pretending you had the job though.  Her reactions looked natural enough.   Are we sure there were actually two endings filmed?


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 9, 2009)

madamv said:


> It must have been a bit strange pretending you had the job though.  Her reactions looked natural enough.   Are we sure there were actually two endings filmed?



Yes, it seems so

http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/blog/article/200672/

"Apprentice winner Yasmina Siadatan has admitted that two different endings were filmed for the current series of the hit show.

In the ending which was screened on Sunday night, viewers saw Sir Alan telling Yasmina that she had been picked as his apprentice, however, an alternative version was also filmed where runner-up Kate Walsh was told that she was the winner.

Two outcomes are recorded in order to keep the result secret until the final is screened on TV and Yasmina only found out Sir Alan's real decision at the weekend. This means that at the time of recording both contestants have to fake their happiness at getting the job."


----------



## Santino (Jun 9, 2009)

Is the manipulation and fabrication on this sort of programme getting worse? Or are we just more aware of it?

Some of it seemed pretty blatant in this series. Someone would suggest an idea, and then it would cut to someone else looking contemptuous, in a way that just didn't flow from the previous conversation. Yasmina said that they edited her to look like a bullshitter on the interview episode too.

Some of it seems so unnecessary too. Do they really have to fake candidates being woken up by the phone and only having 30 minutes to get dressed?


----------



## kabbes (Jun 9, 2009)

I finally saw the last two episodes of Prentice.  Do you know, I don't think there is much to say about it?  By far and away the least interesting episodes, I thought.

The interview stage, which is always frustrusting because interviews are such a crap way of establishing if somebody is any good, was also really rather dull in most ways.  It just seemed like a desperate attempt by the interviewers to make themselves look clever come what may.  I didn't think that any of the candidates had really said anything that bad on their CVs (which exist to get them noticed by the producers of a TV show, don't forget, not to get them a job).  The fax-outrage was all so _manufactured_.  And there was no real depth shown whatsoever to make it genuinely interesting.  Yawn.

And the final was just kind of competently handled by both contestants with no real disasters but no overwhelming spark of genius either.  A good effort given the time constraints.  Again, yawn.

It's not even like the final two were a controversial choice or that you could really say that one of them massively deserved it more than the other.  I personally thought Kate was better, but it really depends what you're looking for.  For the business that 2D Sugar has for them, Yasmina may well be more suitable.

Not really much more to say about it than that, frankly.


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 9, 2009)

Santino said:


> Is the manipulation and fabrication on this sort of programme getting worse? Or are we just more aware of it?
> 
> Some of it seemed pretty blatant in this series. Someone would suggest an idea, and then it would cut to someone else looking contemptuous, in a way that just didn't flow from the previous conversation. Yasmina said that they edited her to look like a bullshitter on the interview episode too.
> 
> Some of it seems so unnecessary too. Do they really have to fake candidates being woken up by the phone and only having 30 minutes to get dressed?



yes, because everytime they did they managed to catch Yas not dressed


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 9, 2009)

kabbes said:


> I For the business that 2D Sugar has for them, Yasmina may well be more suitable.



I reckon that after a year or so of trying to flog those display things to GP surgeries with Lee, she'll probably be keen to get back to the running of the restaurant. Sounds pretty dull really.

BTW, did I imagine it or did Phillip use Lee's famous "That's what I'm TALKING about" phrase in the last episode?


----------



## Awesome Wells (Jun 9, 2009)

spanglechick said:


> yes - choc presentation was 6 weeks ago.  But they then film 2 endings in the boardroom and *work for AMS for 6 weeks.  *


You have proof of this?


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 9, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> You have proof of this?



It says on Wikipedia that for a previous series the two finalists worked for Sir Alan for 6 months before he made the decision:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Apprentice_(UK_TV_series)#Criticism

"Former contestant and runner-up Saira Khan has criticised the programme because the final two candidates both work with Sir Alan Sugar for a few months before he decides whom he will hire. Khan stated that "[Sir Alan Sugar's] final decision is not based on the programme that people see, his final decision is based on these two people who have been working with him for the six months.""


----------



## strung out (Jun 9, 2009)

Awesome Wells said:


> You have proof of this?



"*How does Sir Alan decide who the winner is?*

Sir Alan decides the winner on the basis of the final task, the boardroom, and their overall performance throughout the series.  He makes his decision on the day of the final boardroom.  Because there is a gap between the shoot and transmission (to leave time for editing), there is a concern about keeping the secret of who has won during that time, so as not to spoil it for the viewers.  In order to ensure that the secret is kept, two endings are filmed, and Sir Alan doesn’t reveal his decision of who he has chosen to the finalists and the production team until the day before transmission of the final programme. 

*What happens to the finalists between the shoot and the transmission of the series?*

As both finalists would not be able to seek employment until after transmission, and they cannot be out of pocket as a result of that, Sir Alan finds both of them temporary jobs somewhere within his group of companies."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/about/workings.shtml


----------



## Paul Russell (Jun 9, 2009)

strung_out said:


> "*How does Sir Alan decide who the winner is?*
> 
> Sir Alan decides the winner on the basis of the final task, the boardroom, and their overall performance throughout the series.  He makes his decision on the day of the final boardroom.



That's the official line, but as he gives them both a temporary job for 6 weeks/6 months, he's bound to take that into account and there's nothing to stop him making up his mind a few days before the final show is recorded.

Edit: no hold on that's bollocks isn't it -- who the winner was would probably affect the editing of the whole show.


----------



## beeboo (Jun 10, 2009)

kabbes said:


> I finally saw the last two episodes of Prentice.  Do you know, I don't think there is much to say about it?  By far and away the least interesting episodes, I thought.



Oh dear, it comes to something when kabbes can't be bothered with the analysis 



> And the final was just kind of competently handled by both contestants with no real disasters but no overwhelming spark of genius either.  A good effort given the time constraints.  Again, yawn.



Really?  I thought Kate made a fundamental fuck-up by allowing Debra to convince her to let them go with a higher price point on the chocs.  However you 'bring the brand to the market', there was gross mis-match between the price and the 'sharing' occasion (Friday night treat) they were aiming for.

If they actually had to go out an secure orders, I think Yasmina would have run away with it.  As with the canape task, she was able to keep her focus on the hard business facts.  I think her concept was sound, and more time to develop a well produced ad and develop decent tasting chocs would have produced something which was very marketable.



Sadly I didn't get to watch the show until Monday evening and I'd already found out that Yasmina won as her mug was on every flippin' paper 

However, did get the nasty shock of learning the Marge is leaving us.  I'm devastated


----------



## Miss Potter (Jun 10, 2009)

apparently Karen Brady's being considered as a replacement for Margaret


----------



## belboid (Jun 10, 2009)

beeboo said:


> Really?  I thought Kate made a fundamental fuck-up by allowing Debra to convince her to let them go with a higher price point on the chocs.  However you 'bring the brand to the market', there was gross mis-match between the price and the 'sharing' occasion (Friday night treat) they were aiming for.



yup, got price totally wrong, and then didnt match the ad to the market either. Couldn't say anything to defend the pricing either, just saying 'you will be able to sell these at this pricve and make a profit for everyone' whilst yasmina at least mentioned the cost per choc (7p!!) which showed she had at least _some_ clue about working out costings


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## beeboo (Jun 10, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> apparently Karen Brady's being considered as a replacement for Margaret



Urgh! I really don't like her   Or that bra woman 

Margaret is irreplaceable


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## belboid (Jun 10, 2009)

I doubt Karren (two r's please!) Brady knows who Cassandra was either.


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## Paul Russell (Jun 10, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> apparently Karen Brady's being considered as a replacement for Margaret



Well, the Conservatives are kicking up a fuss about SirAlan playing a role in government (or whatever it is) while being on the telly, so it's possible he may have to give up the Apprentice. Presumably he would pick being Industry Tsar over a telly programme!

Could be a good chance to refresh the show and bring in a different boss and a slightly different format.

I've enjoyed all the series (well I missed the Badger one), and this was a good crop of contestants, but maybe it's getting a bit predictable and stale...


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## ymu (Jun 10, 2009)

kabbes is falling down on the job a lot lately. 

Whilst I remain deeply unimpressed at mum's 1% stake in a business she 100% funded, Yasmina won that - and she had to win it, as surallin chose Kate before choosing between her and Debra.

She was in with a shot the moment her team put the logo on a blank background for a poster, and she won it the moment she picked the £6 price point and stuck to it. She deserved to win for turning around a bad idea at the last minute because market research said it was a loser. It was a good concept - no idea why they went for pink instead of electric blue on a package that was still supposed to appeal to men even if it wasn't explicitly marketed that way, but still ...

Kate lost it the moment she got carried away with the product and forgot about the price point. She let Debra do exactly what she did with the rocking horse. She acts and presents herself like a common-or-garden sales rep, and she hasn't really done much to prove that she's got more to her than that, IMO.

Oh, and kabbes ....


















You're fired!


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## kabbes (Jun 10, 2009)

Oh, I got so close!  I'm the classic do-well-throughout-the-series-then-screw-it-up-at-the-end wannabe!


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## kabbes (Jun 10, 2009)

For the record, too, you're right about Kate screwing up on the price and also right about the fact that it is because she let Debra run away with it.

Sorry, everybody.


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## Sweaty Betty (Jun 10, 2009)

IVE applied for next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## beeboo (Jun 11, 2009)

Paul Russell said:


> Well, the Conservatives are kicking up a fuss about SirAlan playing a role in government (or whatever it is) while being on the telly



If Thailand have taught us one thing... 



> Could be a good chance to refresh the show and bring in a different boss and a slightly different format.



Aye.  And increasingly Surallen's claims of a "vast business empire" look a bit shakey - who is actually going to fight win a job selling tv screens to doctors' surgeries


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## Gromit (Jun 11, 2009)

So the winner is doing something with digital signage. 

Wasn't that what last year's winner wenton to do?
Did he muck it up then or is that just his place to shove people where they can do the least damage?


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## ddraig (Jun 11, 2009)

Gromit said:


> So the winner is doing something with digital signage.
> 
> Wasn't that what last year's winner wenton to do?
> Did he muck it up then or is that just his place to shove people where they can do the least damage?



"digital signage" - we give you free telly's yeah, good one's mind, then we beam in (or hardwire) ads to your captive audience yeah, it's like revolutionary! 

they tried this kind of shit 10-15 years ago and probably other times as well.

crap advertising fail


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## ymu (Jun 11, 2009)

Lee did not get a single clip this series, did he? And yes, that was the same job he got. Any gossip we've missed?


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## Paul Russell (Jun 11, 2009)

Gromit said:


> So the winner is doing something with digital signage.
> 
> Wasn't that what last year's winner wenton to do?
> 
> Did he muck it up then or is that just his place to shove people where they can do the least damage?



I don't know, but I did see it mentioned that Yasmina was working on the same thing that Lee was. The whole thing is called AmScreen.

http://amscreen.co.uk/

I suppose it is quite a big venture and Yasmina and Lee both "slot in", as SirAlan would say, somewhere...

Maybe it would be something quite interesting to work on, but SirAlan just made it sound superdull...


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## honto (Jun 11, 2009)

I think one of them plugs in the TV screens in train stations and the other in Doctors surgeries, therefore the jobs are *entirely* different.

It might not be train stations actually, I just can't remember or be bothered to check.


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## belboid (Jun 14, 2009)

nice little piece in Private Eye, which I've only just read:




			
				Private Eye said:
			
		

> Redder faces than usual at Canary Wharf. Failed _Apprentice_ Debra Barr might not work for Sir Alan, but she does, for now at least, work for Trinity Mirror who naturally expected an exclusive sit down with their senior media saleswoman.  Alas no.
> 
> "I will only talk to Richard Wallace and Tina Weaver," Debra snootilly told both news desks, refusing to deal with anyone below the rank of editor. Unsurprisingly, the editors of the _Daily_ and _Sunday Mirror_ declined to whip out their notebooks, and the pisspoor interview went, instead, to the _Daily Telegraph_.
> 
> ...


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## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 19, 2009)

...


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## Stigmata (Jun 19, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> apparently Karen Brady's being considered as a replacement for Margaret



I keep reading that as Ian Brady


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## Gromit (Jun 19, 2009)

Finally seen the final episode. 

I have to say that if the whole competition was based on the final task I wouldn't have picked Yas. 

Naff box, naff advert, naff presentation, naff chocolates. 

Kate's concept was better. She made one critcal sin. Fitting the price to match the chocs selected rather than picking the chocs to match a 'night in' price band. Debra proves that once again she has expensive tastes.


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## belboid (Jun 19, 2009)

quite a big mistake that.  Fucking humungous one on fact.  Especially for Sugar.

And she made more mistakes than just that one as well.


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## Gromit (Jun 19, 2009)

belboid said:


> quite a big mistake that. Fucking humungous one on fact. Especially for Sugar.
> 
> And she made more mistakes than just that one as well.


 
But then creating chocolates no one would buy more than once and that purchasers would warn their friend's away from is a bigger mistake imo.

Both mistakes would have been fixed if they had more time to sound out the market and tweak the actual product.

So lets imagine Kate had had the time to speak to people and realise she needed to bring the costs down and had forced Debra to stay in budget so that they could retail at £7.99 - £9.99.

Plus imagine that Yasmina had found the time to fine tune her flavours so that they weren't horrid but was still able to retail at £6.

Which product then would truely be better?

I still think Kate's as it would come to market with a truely unique selling point that played on romance and the pretence of sharing. 

I say pretense as we all know that when the girl would buy the chocs she'd would indeed be planning on eating more of the share drawer than her partner, whilst pretending to otherwise (to him and even possibly to herself).  If the guy is wise he'll let her get one over on him and everyone is happy.


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## belboid (Jun 19, 2009)

Kates proce was WAY out, that isnt jsut  a 'tweak' its a major major failnig.  Also she was shit with figures - she didnt seem to know them and simply insisted in the pitch that everyone would make a 'good' profit.  Thats crap. Yasmina could come n and say '7p a choc' - bingo.

Also Kates ad was aimed at completely the wonrg market for a spenny box of chocs.  And the box looked like a lillets box.

She wasn't awful by any means, just not as good.


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## kabbes (Jun 19, 2009)

Actually, although I think that Kate was better in the overall series, I don't agree with you that her chocolate product was better even given your fixed scenario.  I thought it was tacky and cheesy in tone, I thought the overall design was unappealing, I thought that her target concept didn't fit with her view of price point and I thought that its apparent concept was wafer thin in any case (what do you even mean by a "chocolate for him"?  Why are they different?)

I think that the team had a good stab at it given the time constraints and lack of specialist knowledge, but I don't think their stab was better than Yasmina's.


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## Gromit (Jun 19, 2009)

kabbes said:


> what do you even mean by a "chocolate for him"? Why are they different?


 
His drawer was full of Yorkie pieces. /Scoff and chomp!

Her's finely crafted hand made master pieces. /Delicately nibble.


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## Gromit (Jun 19, 2009)

belboid said:


> Yasmina could come n and say '7p a choc' - bingo.


 
I'll admit that bit did impress me.

Kate is good at the hype. Yasmina the cold hard facts.


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## kabbes (Jun 19, 2009)

Gromit said:


> I'll admit that bit did impress me.
> 
> Kate is good at the hype. Yasmina the cold hard facts.


They're the original odd couple.  But put them together and somehow it just works.


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## London_Calling (Jun 19, 2009)

Like Laural and Hardy.


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## kabbes (Jun 19, 2009)

Or Sugar and Gordon.


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## London_Calling (Jun 19, 2009)

Or even Brown Sugar, just like a young girl should.


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## Gromit (Jun 19, 2009)

Btw I had to laugh at Rocky's hurt face at being picked last 

Cruel of them to show them picking the teams but great for us 

Very surprised that Ben was Kate's first pick 

By not picking Phil was she hoping he'd put the boot in for her on the other side? He was doing his best to push the silliest ideas possible. That could just be everyday Phill though and not sabotage. He still thinks Pants man was brill


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## Miss Potter (Jun 19, 2009)

Gromit said:


> Btw I had to laugh at Rocky's hurt face at being picked last



Rocky didn't actually do or say anything in the last episode did he?


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## Gromit (Jun 19, 2009)

Miss Potter said:


> Rocky didn't actually do or say anything in the last episode did he?


 
He picked the chocolates with Debra I think. So nope as Debra would have taken over.


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## jæd (Jun 19, 2009)

kabbes said:


> Actually, although I think that Kate was better in the overall series, I don't agree with you that her chocolate product was better even given your fixed scenario.  I thought it was tacky and cheesy in tone, I thought the overall design was unappealing, I thought that her target concept didn't fit with her view of price point and I thought that its apparent concept was wafer thin in any case (what do you even mean by a "chocolate for him"?  Why are they different?)
> 
> I think that the team had a good stab at it given the time constraints and lack of specialist knowledge, but I don't think their stab was better than Yasmina's.



Only just caught up on this...

Yaz's product was dull and would never had sold. Kate's product was interesting and original. Pity Surallen doesn't want that. Amstrad has rarely sold ground-breaking products, and when they did they bombed.

I thought Kate was much better at the entire series. Which was the problem. Surallen is looking for lackey to do his dull jobs. Yaz was a bit shit all the way through and obviously isn't more than a fancy waitress. (A Finance Director that doesn't know anything about profit, or even her profit for the last year...) Which is what the Apprentice is all about. Surallen looks for not very good people who show promise to do boring but worthy jobs.

Kate will be ok and will find a good job pretty fast...


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## belboid (Jun 19, 2009)

jæd said:


> Yaz's product was dull and would never had sold.


wrong


> Kate's product was interesting and original.


wrong



> Pity Surallen doesn't want that. Amstrad has rarely sold ground-breaking products, and when they did they bombed.


right



> I thought Kate was much better at the entire series.


wrong



> Yaz was a bit shit all the way through and obviously isn't more than a fancy waitress.


wrong



> Kate will be ok and will find a good job pretty fast...


right


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## jæd (Jun 19, 2009)

Oh noes...! Am I fired...?


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## jæd (Jun 19, 2009)

If anything, I expect Kate to open a Beauty salon so we can find out how to have huge, pearly white knashers like her...


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## belboid (Jun 19, 2009)

jæd said:


> Oh noes...! Am I fired...?



two out of six...kinda Ben standard I'm afraid...


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## kabbes (Jun 19, 2009)

Yasmina did have this going for her -- she was a very good manager of people.  She had excellent machiavellean skills, in the best possible way, in that she got people to do what she wanted without them even realising that she was doing it.  So she'd be a good middle manager.  Again, what Brown Sugar probably wants.


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