# Hipster overload: Cereal Killer Cafe opens



## editor (Dec 9, 2014)

All your faddy breakfast needs catered for.



http://cerealkillercafe.co.uk/#about-us


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## clandestino (Dec 9, 2014)

This has been floating around Facebook for a few weeks now. I think the most cutting comment about those guys was asking why they'd modelled themselves on the singer from Lostprophets' police mugshot.


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## xenon (Dec 9, 2014)

Lol. People will go to a cafe to eat Weetabix apparently. Six months tops


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## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 9, 2014)

Fuck it I'd take my boy there just to prove to him that I'm not making Lucky Charrrmms up.
He'd proper love the oreo and reece's ones too, i reckon.


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## T & P (Dec 10, 2014)

Even if I liked the idea, I'd be so worried about finding beard hairs floating in my milk bowl I could never visit the place.


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## quimcunx (Dec 10, 2014)

I want to try the Reece's puffs.


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## JTG (Dec 10, 2014)

Get a shave ffs you meffy twats


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## Celyn (Dec 10, 2014)

My first thought was that it can't be real, then I remembered that Urban has quite a lot to discuss about porridge, so there might well be hordes of fans of rare brekky cereals just dying to go to this place.
And now I think that, with all the bright coloured boxes and old adverts and little cereal-box toys, it could be great fun if you're in the right state of mind, which probably wouldn't be at breakfast time.  So if they opened at more of a sort of late-night schedule, it might get by for a while.


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## spanglechick (Dec 10, 2014)

I love cereal as a kind of anytime demi-meal.   More cafe-type places should sell a range of cereals.


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## Nancy_Winks (Dec 10, 2014)

That cannot be real  How can anyone be/look/act such a characature? This look is surely so tired now that true hipsters moved on years ago. A lot of tattooed youngsters left in their wake with bad beards 

Christ I'm so OLD


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

You can not be cerealous! 

Not really, I know about this already someone else maybe alsoknownas  talked about this on the Hackney thread?

Peak beard, wall to wall wheat & e numbers, they will probably do well. 

Can't watch that vid, it's too early to get the _rage_.


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## maomao (Dec 10, 2014)

Brick Lane is not in Dalston.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

maomao said:


> Brick Lane is not in Dalston.



No, it isn't but the incomers don't care


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## Chilli.s (Dec 10, 2014)

Just how many bowls of cereal does one have to sell to pay the rent on a café in Brick Lane? It's not a type of dish that requires skilled preparation so ain't gonna be able to charge too much.


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## JTG (Dec 10, 2014)

Chilli.s said:


> Just how many bowls of cereal does one have to sell to pay the rent on a café in Brick Lane? It's not a type of dish that requires skilled preparation so ain't gonna be able to charge too much.


I dunno though. I once went to Lord's for a Middlesex match and went in search of a cafe for breakfast. This place showed me a narrow selection of cereals at exhorbitant prices and no sign of a fry up.

Fucking St John's Wood


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## Yossarian (Dec 10, 2014)




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## Pickman's model (Dec 10, 2014)

JTG said:


> I dunno though. I once went to Lord's for a Middlesex match and went in search of a cafe for breakfast. This place showed me a narrow selection of cereals at exhorbitant prices and no sign of a fry up.
> 
> Fucking St John's Wood


are there any urbs living up that way?


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## tommers (Dec 10, 2014)

Fuck's sake.


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## DotCommunist (Dec 10, 2014)

be worth it to try out some of them weird yank cereals. And them inexplicably chocalty french ones


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## belboid (Dec 10, 2014)

Chilli.s said:


> Just how many bowls of cereal does one have to sell to pay the rent on a café in Brick Lane? It's not a type of dish that requires skilled preparation so ain't gonna be able to charge too much.


Nigel Slater is knocking up a column for next weeks Guardian on why it's actually a lot harder than you think, and is absolutely definitely worth a fiver of your hard earned for a bowl of Weetabix.


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## JTG (Dec 10, 2014)

belboid said:


> Nigel Slater is knocking up a column for next weeks Guardian on why it's actually a lot harder than you think, and is absolutely definitely worth a fiver of your hard earned for a bowl of Weetabix.


"How to eat: Shredded Wheat"


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## editor (Dec 10, 2014)

spanglechick said:


> I love cereal as a kind of anytime demi-meal.   More cafe-type places should sell a range of cereals.


Problem: Love cereal. Hate hipster joints. 
Solution? Enjoy a bowl at home.


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## Bakunin (Dec 10, 2014)




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## Fozzie Bear (Dec 10, 2014)

Can I just point out that we were angry about this _weeks_ ago on the Hackney thread? 

(Hipsters that we are).


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## Fozzie Bear (Dec 10, 2014)

The inside cover advert of the Guardian Guide this week is some bearded tattooed hipster advertising e-cigs.

So that style is probably on its way out now too.

Whatever happens next will probably be just as annoying though.


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## editor (Dec 10, 2014)

Fozzie Bear said:


> The inside cover advert of the Guardian Guide this week is some bearded tattooed hipster advertising e-cigs.
> 
> So that style is probably on its way out now too.
> 
> Whatever happens next will probably be just as annoying though.


I hope it's home grown annoying as opposed to _entirely copied from NYC_ annoying.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

Fozzie Bear said:


> Can I just point out that we were angry about this _weeks_ ago on the Hackney thread?
> 
> (Hipsters that we are).



I already did!


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## Idaho (Dec 10, 2014)

Hipsters are going to be really cross when tattoos are no longer fashionable.


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## ffsear (Dec 10, 2014)

Another pair of self proclaimed "entrepreneurs"   spending their parents money on a fucking shit idea.


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## Chilli.s (Dec 10, 2014)

ffsear said:


> Another pair of self proclaimed "entrepreneurs"   spending their parents money on a fucking shit idea.


 
Mummy and Daddy won't mind, their property investment goes up anyway and they have a business to flush expenses through.


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## DotCommunist (Dec 10, 2014)

and when it goes tits up the home cupboards will be full of novelty cereal


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## Manter (Dec 10, 2014)

Chilli.s said:


> Mummy and Daddy won't mind, their property investment goes up anyway and they have a business to flush expenses through.


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## QueenOfGoths (Dec 10, 2014)

I like cereal, I have cereal most days....therefore if I go out for breakfast I want a greasy FEB thank you very much hipsters


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## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 10, 2014)

Celyn said:


> with all the bright coloured boxes and old adverts and little cereal-box toys, it could be great fun if you're in the right state of mind


Or stoned, tbf.


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## Vintage Paw (Dec 10, 2014)

I like hipsters.


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## twentythreedom (Dec 10, 2014)

Do they serve porridge?


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## machine cat (Dec 10, 2014)

I bet there's about twelve types of milk too.


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## tommers (Dec 10, 2014)

machine cat said:


> I bet there's about twelve types of milk too.



There's loads.  They say.  Like 15 or something?

Oh, it's 12.  You already knew.


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## twentythreedom (Dec 10, 2014)

machine cat said:


> I bet there's about twelve types of milk too.


And 12 types of water


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## Chilli.s (Dec 10, 2014)

Yeah, I'll never have weetabix without hand trodden Barbadian sugar and Tibetan ewes milk. Anyone would be a fool not to.


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## BigTom (Dec 10, 2014)

I don't think I can even name 12 types of milk.

Do they have dog's milk?



Spoiler: youtube: red dwarf


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## Geri (Dec 10, 2014)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I like cereal, I have cereal most days....therefore if I go out for breakfast I want a greasy FEB thank you very much hipsters


 
Yes, me too. If I stay on a hotel I don't have the cereal at breakfast, it's straight for the sausages and bacon. 

I'm also slightly worried that any cereals that aren't in my own home might have gone stale.


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## machine cat (Dec 10, 2014)

tommers said:


> There's loads.  They say.  Like 15 or something?
> 
> Oh, it's 12.  You already knew.



I didn't actually... just checked the website now


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## maomao (Dec 10, 2014)

Geri said:


> I'm also slightly worried that any cereals that aren't in my own home might have gone stale.


100 different cereals in there, some of them are going to go stale through being under ordered.


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## Ted Striker (Dec 10, 2014)

There must be a QI style klaxon for someone going in and ordering Corn Flakes?


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## catinthehat (Dec 10, 2014)

This was the entire premise of a film (the name of which I forget) with Zoe Deschamel in it.  The plot was she was in cereal cafe threatened by a chain store type cereal cafe.  As someone has already said - six months top.


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## JTG (Dec 10, 2014)

This doesn't even need explaining tbh: caffs do fry ups or lasagne and chips. Not fucking Cheerios. Pair of complete dickheads, go and get a job doing something worthwhile. Cretins


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## maomao (Dec 10, 2014)

catinthehat said:


> This was the entire premise of a film (the name of which I forget) with Zoe Deschamel in it.  The plot was she was in cereal cafe threatened by a chain store type cereal cafe.  As someone has already said - six months top.


Flakes, 2007.


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## Vintage Paw (Dec 10, 2014)

I bet they get cornflakes stuck in their beards.

Beards are awesome.


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## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 10, 2014)




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## spanglechick (Dec 10, 2014)

editor said:


> Problem: Love cereal. Hate hipster joints.
> Solution? Enjoy a bowl at home.


yeah - but sometimes one is out and about.  meh.  i CBA with east london generally, so this won't be a dilemma - but i'd consider a cafe or pub that sold a hearty bowl of cereal with skimmed milk a positive draw... and if it happened to be run by hipsters, it wouldn't put me off (similarly if it were run by goths or geeks or any other subculture).  I just like cereal.  More places should have it on the menu.


I like those fancy milkshake places too.  This cafe reminds me of those.  I'll have a malteser and banana milkshake with added jelly tots, please...


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## clandestino (Dec 10, 2014)

ShiftyBagLady said:


>




I love the look the reporter gives to the camera at the end. Fantastic!


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## Geri (Dec 10, 2014)

maomao said:


> 100 different cereals in there, some of them are going to go stale through being under ordered.


 
My dad carefully rotates his cereals so none of them have the chance to get stale. 

I just buy one packet and eat it until it's gone. Shredded Wheat is good as it's packed in twos so the air doesn't get to it.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

ShiftyBagLady said:


>




Sums it up..COMPLETELY. They have no idea where they have set up business. They have come for the hipsters/trendies/incomers and sod everyone else that has lived there longer or who can't afford their imported, crap-food-gimmick in a bowl.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

clandestino said:


> I love the look the reporter gives to the camera at the end. Fantastic!



'Is he for real?'
The shock/disbelief/confusion at his bare faced cheek is enough.


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## editor (Dec 10, 2014)

spanglechick said:


> yeah - but sometimes one is out and about.  meh.  i CBA with east london generally, so this won't be a dilemma - but i'd consider a cafe or pub that sold a hearty bowl of cereal with skimmed milk a positive draw... and if it happened to be run by hipsters, it wouldn't put me off (similarly if it were run by goths or geeks or any other subculture).  I just like cereal.  More places should have it on the menu.
> 
> 
> I like those fancy milkshake places too.  This cafe reminds me of those.  I'll have a malteser and banana milkshake with added jelly tots, please...


There's still quite a few cafes around that offer breakfast cereals/porridge and I'd imagine they'd all be better - and cheaper - than this hipster hellhole.


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## editor (Dec 10, 2014)

£3.20 for a small bowl of cereal. "Cheap for the area" says beardy hipster owner.


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## Gingerman (Dec 10, 2014)

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/uks-first-ever-cereal-caf-opens-in-shoreditch-9916503.html
 "hotly-anticipated venue"


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## machine cat (Dec 10, 2014)

editor said:


> £3.20 for a small bowl of cereal. "Cheap for the area" says beardy hipster owner.



I'm not a big cereal fan, but surely you can buy a packet from the supermarket for less than that? I buy the variety packs for my kids and their only £2 for eight.


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## maomao (Dec 10, 2014)

Gingerman said:


> http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/uks-first-ever-cereal-caf-opens-in-shoreditch-9916503.html
> "hotly-anticipated venue"


It took them a year and a fucking half to open a café that serves nothing but cereal.


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## King Biscuit Time (Dec 10, 2014)

maomao said:


> It took them a year and a fucking half to open a café that serves nothing but cereal.



I could get that place up and running in one dry afternoon.

Also - I'm not fussy about cleanliness generally, but there's something about eating cereal anywhere that isn't immaculately clean that freaks me out. I very seldom even have cereal at someone else's house, and I certainly wouldn't trust this pair of cunts to wash up properly.


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## tommers (Dec 10, 2014)

Looked busy though,  didn't it?


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## Ranbay (Dec 10, 2014)

machine cat said:


> I'm not a big cereal fan, but surely you can buy a packet from the supermarket for less than that? I buy the variety packs for my kids and their only £2 for eight.



add the cost of staff, rent, imports, milk cleaning up etc etc..... how much is a coffee these days? wouldnt see people kicking off about buying one in a shop for £3 when you can get a jar for £1 in tesco.


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## ChrisFilter (Dec 10, 2014)

So much hate. They're not hurting anyone - it's not like the area is being newly gentrified. 

You're all getting old.


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## machine cat (Dec 10, 2014)

B0B2oo9 said:


> add the cost of staff, rent, imports, milk cleaning up etc etc..... how much is a coffee these days? wouldnt see people kicking off about buying one in a shop for £3 when you can get a jar for £1 in tesco.



True, but that could be said about lots of things. I just think £3 is a lot for a bowl of cereal that's all.


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## Ranbay (Dec 10, 2014)

Well eveything is cheaper in the supermarket the have less overheads, like beard trimmers etc.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> So much hate. They're not hurting anyone - it's not like the area is being newly gentrified.
> 
> You're all getting old.



Age has nothing to do with it. The attitude and continued gentrification of tower hamlets and other boroughs is doing real harm actually. Like them, if you knew anything about the area you wouldn't post such nonsense IMO.


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## ChrisFilter (Dec 10, 2014)

We're talking about Brick Lane, not Tower Hamlets at large.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> We're talking about Brick Lane, not Tower Hamlets at large.



You may be, I am talking about both. This bullshit isn't restricted to BL only.


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## ChrisFilter (Dec 10, 2014)

And I'm well aware of the damage gentrification does, thank you Ms Patronising. I just think this instance is a) symptom, not cause and b) bolting the stable door long after the horse has bolted. 

Anyway, I'm just being contrary. Normally I'd be the first to stick the knife in to the wacky twats. I think I'm just stung by all the beard hate.


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## ChrisFilter (Dec 10, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> You may be, I am talking about both. This bullshit isn't restricted to BL only.


I'm talking about the cereal café.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 10, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> And I'm well aware of the damage gentrification does, thank you Ms Patronising.


 That's rich Mr Patronising, given that you reduced the disdain of this kind of thing to being about age! 





> Anyway, I'm just being contrary. Normally I'd be the first to stick the knife in to the wacky twats. I think I'm just stung by all the beard hate.


 I love beards, I always have, how do you think I feel, conflicted I tell thee !...these guys are ruining my beard fetish for me!


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## twentythreedom (Dec 10, 2014)

They must get the odd stray Rice Krispie stuck in those beards


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## SarfLondoner (Dec 10, 2014)

Chilli.s said:


> Yeah, I'll never have weetabix without hand trodden Barbadian sugar and Tibetan ewes milk. Anyone would be a fool not to.


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## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 10, 2014)

It's not the concept, I don't especially hate hipsters and it's not even necessarily the price (though it is a bit rich to charge £3 for a bowl of fucking cereal) but the complete lack of awareness that yer man demonstrated and his ridiculous and arrogant refusal to engage on the matter which puts me off.
I won't visit now. ShiftyJunior will have to take me word for it that Lucky Charms were a thing...


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## twentythreedom (Dec 10, 2014)

I hope you are educating him in the ways of the mighty FEB


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## keybored (Dec 10, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> So much hate. They're not hurting anyone - it's not like the area is being newly gentrified.
> 
> You're all getting old.


This is bait.


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## Lo Siento. (Dec 10, 2014)

ShiftyBagLady said:


>



Gotta say. There's about a million other people this reporter could/should be asking this sort of question to. Like, these two are obviously total fuckheads and the fact that they get the resources to set this nonsense up is grossly unfair on all the people in Tower Hamlets who'll never get such great opportunities ... but... they're not actually responsible for poverty in Tower Hamlets, they're not responsible for our capital city being used as a plaything/money tree for real estate investors/agents or even the vacuousness of modern subcultures. They're just regular strength arseholes being pandered to by a society that doesn't know the actual value of anything at all.


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## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 10, 2014)

twentythreedom said:


> I hope you are educating him in the ways of the mighty FEB


FEB?


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## Celyn (Dec 10, 2014)

JTG said:


> This doesn't even need explaining tbh: caffs do fry ups or lasagne and chips. Not fucking Cheerios. Pair of complete dickheads, go and get a job doing something worthwhile. Cretins



Ah, but maybe it IS worthwhile.  It's actually a clever front for something else entirely.  They are international spies.  Or diamond smugglers.


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## Celyn (Dec 11, 2014)

ShiftyBagLady said:


> ... ShiftyJunior will have to take me word for it that Lucky Charms were a thing...



Tesco sells Lucky Charms.   If you're miles from the dreaded Tesco, I'd offer to get you some and post them but given that I have just failed to post a birthday card to my brother and I've had all blooming year to plan that, I fear it wouldn't do you much good.  Stale unlucky yukky un-charms, they would be.


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## Celyn (Dec 11, 2014)

ShiftyBagLady said:


> FEB?



Full English breakfast, and I won't venture to say what it involves because there is room for debate.  81 pages of debate.   

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/the-full-english-back-me-up.291452/


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## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 11, 2014)

Celyn said:


> Full English breakfast, and I won't venture to say what it involves because there is room for debate.  81 pages of debate.
> 
> http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/the-full-english-back-me-up.291452/


We sometimes have a semi-english breakfast for dinner. Broken Britain innit.


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## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

I often have a semi at breakfast


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## twentythreedom (Dec 11, 2014)

ShiftyBagLady said:


> FEB?



http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/full-english-breakfast-of-the-year-2014.329729/

Rite of passage etc


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> It took them a year and a fucking half to open a café that serves nothing but cereal.



A year and a half in which they also learnt nothing about the history of TH, nor the current issues poorer people are facing in the area on account of them being swamped and priced out by developers and self-centred new business models like this one.


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## Tankus (Dec 11, 2014)

So what's under the counter then ?

I'm feeling seriously under bearded...


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## Chilli.s (Dec 11, 2014)

Can't believe that after a year and a half of planning they didn't have all the answers and smiles for that C4 interviewer. That was one chance of top free publicity turned into a coffin nail.

Feeling a bit sorry for them now.


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## Ted Striker (Dec 11, 2014)

Chilli.s said:


> Can't believe that after a year and a half of planning they didn't have all the answers and smiles for that C4 interviewer. That was one chance of top free publicity turned into a coffin nail.
> 
> Feeling a bit sorry for them now.



They''ll soon bounce back with their edgy 'Top Noodle' pop up in Peckham.

£8 for a Bombay Badboy, extra £1 for boiled Evian.


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## Lord Camomile (Dec 11, 2014)

"23 types of water, 18 types of fork"


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## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

Ted Striker said:


> They''ll soon bounce back with their edgy 'Top Noodle' pop up in Peckham.
> 
> £8 for a Bombay Badboy, extra £1 for boiled Evian.


That would work if there was a full range of Asian style instant noodles rather than crappy pot noodles. Very popular at Chinese tourist places where they don't have full catering facilities.


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## Utopia (Dec 11, 2014)

I wonder if they sell the utter delight that is Kellogs corn flakes with sterilised bottled milk?!?!?, ahhhhh memories of eating this in a caravan overlooking the sea in rainy New Quay, West Wales in the 80's.


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## Ted Striker (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> That would work if there was a full range of Asian style instant noodles rather than crappy pot noodles. Very popular at Chinese tourist places where they don't have full catering facilities.



(I know some awesome instant noodles tbf)


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## Cowley (Dec 11, 2014)

I can't stop laughing at this concept it's comical, only in London!

Fair play to them if it succeeds...which it most likely will!  If folks are stupid enough to pay £3 to sit in a Cafe munching on a bowl of Cereal then more power to them.


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## SarfLondoner (Dec 11, 2014)

Cowley said:


> I can't stop laughing at this concept it's comical, only in London!
> 
> Fair play to them if it succeeds...which it most likely will!  If folks are stupid enough to pay £3 to sit in a Cafe munching on a bowl of Cereal then more power to them.


Exactly, The owners do come across like a pair of pretentious tits but they have tapped into a bunch of gullible sheep who want to feel special and exclusive and are prepared to pay for it.


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## Treacle Toes (Dec 11, 2014)

> UpRise20 mins ·
> 'Brixton, Dalston, Deptford etc... welcome to your new self-satisfied 'hipster'
> neighbours. The council calls you 'daytime economy' i.e poor people
> searching for economically priced food to feed yourself and your
> ...



Well said!


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 11, 2014)

What exactly is one supposed to 'do' with a beard?


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## Lord Camomile (Dec 11, 2014)

I was wondering, but didn't want to ask for fear of being labelled a hipster


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 11, 2014)

*strokes beard*


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 11, 2014)

> skateboards, beards, fixed-wheeled bikes,acoustic guitars



How dare they.


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## IC3D (Dec 11, 2014)

In terms of value compared to the 8 quid slop you get in a Bangladeshi restaurant served by underpaid waiters further up the road its pretty comparable.


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## el-ahrairah (Dec 11, 2014)

IC3D said:


> In terms of value compared to the 8 quid slop you get in a Bangladeshi restaurant served by underpaid waiters further up the road its pretty comparable.



any particular restaurant, or is this an attack on bangladeshis in general?


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## cantsin (Dec 11, 2014)

"this isnt one of the poorest areas is it ? " 

excruciating....thought it was vaguely fun/funny before, now actively looking fwd to their inevitable demise

http://www.channel4.com/news/cereal-cafe-opens-in-london-but-can-it-survive?1


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## cantsin (Dec 11, 2014)

Fozzie Bear said:


> The inside cover advert of the Guardian Guide this week is some bearded tattooed hipster advertising e-cigs.
> 
> So that style is probably on its way out now too.
> 
> Whatever happens next will probably be just as annoying though.



Normcore. Its started. Cereal Boys are looking v 2012.


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 11, 2014)

cantsin said:


> "this isnt one of the poorest areas is it ? "
> 
> excruciating....thought it was vaguely fun/funny before, now actively looking fwd to their inevitable demise
> 
> http://www.channel4.com/news/cereal-cafe-opens-in-london-but-can-it-survive?1


To be fair to them, that area is, like many in central London, both poor and rich. There are lots of affluent people there and have been for a while, and private rents are very, very high.


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## Ted Striker (Dec 11, 2014)

Do you think they'll have to have their fringes forward to hide the facepalm marks from when they rerun that interview and he corrects him "£3.20 actually" 

Tbf I thought the interview was a bit off...It's just a bit of fun - if there aren't enough people willing to pay 3.20 for a bowl of cereal in Dalston they'll have, erm, egg over their faces and will go under.

It's not the £3.20 bowls of cereal that gentrifies Dalston - Dalston's such gentrified (or not) that it can (maybe) accommodate them.


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 11, 2014)

Ted Striker said:


> It's not the £3.20 bowls of cereal that gentrifies Dalston - Dalston's such gentrified (or not) that it can (maybe) accommodate them.


There's both push and pull. A friend of mine was horrified when she saw a couple of trendy places open up in Clapton a couple of years ago. Sure enough, as she had predicted, a few months later, her landlord put the rent up.


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## cantsin (Dec 11, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> To be fair to them, that area is, like many in central London, both poor and rich. There are lots of affluent people there and have been for a while, and private rents are very, very high.



yoo can't stand on that end of brick lane and not be aware you're in one of the poorest boroughs of the UK, unless you're a dickhead


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## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> There's both push and pull. A friend of mine was horrified when she saw a couple of trendy places open up in Clapton a couple of years ago. Sure enough, as she had predicted, a few months later, her landlord put the rent up.


Yep, I lived at the bottom of mount pleasant and that was exactly when my cunt landlord tried to stick my rent up from 850 to 1300.


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## Dan U (Dec 11, 2014)

i hate this rampant beardism. as someone who has owned a beard, on and off, for over 20 years, I feel everyone is looking at me like i am _one of those


_


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## Utopia (Dec 11, 2014)

Ted Striker said:


> Do you think they'll have to have their fringes forward to hide the facepalm marks from when they rerun that interview and he corrects him "£3.20 actually"
> 
> Tbf I thought the interview was a bit off...It's just a bit of fun - if there aren't enough people willing to pay 3.20 for a bowl of cereal in Dalston they'll have, erm, egg over their faces and will go under.
> 
> It's not the £3.20 bowls of cereal that gentrifies Dalston - Dalston's such gentrified (or not) that it can (maybe) accommodate them.


 
Brick Lane is not Dalston.


----------



## IC3D (Dec 11, 2014)

I know there are few old businesses clinging on along Brick Lane and that's crap, but it's 20 years too late, private rents have been huge for a least 10 and I'm sure a few of us on here  bounced around to techno in the warehouses back in the day so we could say it was our generation that started it in the first place.

The stick to beat them with isn't really gentrification, its the fucking carbon footprint of those cereals


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> What exactly is one supposed to 'do' with a beard?



Brush it regularly, oil it, store snacks in it, provide a home for small birds.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 11, 2014)

IC3D said:


> I know there are few old businesses clinging on along Brick Lane and that's crap, but it's 20 years too late, private rents have been huge for a least 10 and I'm sure a few of us on here  bounced around to techno in the warehouses back in the day so we could say it was our generation that started it in the first place.
> 
> The stick to beat them with isn't really gentrification, its the fucking carbon footprint of those cereals


Thing is, somewhere like the Vibe Bar is just as out of reach price-wise as this silly cafe. I do agree that it's a very silly idea and the bloke in the interview is a complete tosser, but isn't the objection to this mostly an aesthetic one - as in Vibe Bar=good, Cereal Bar=bad.


----------



## Dan U (Dec 11, 2014)

ViolentPanda said:


> Brush it regularly, oil it, store snacks in it, provide a home for small birds.



oil it


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2014)

Dan U said:


> i hate this rampant beardism. as someone who has owned a beard, on and off, for over 20 years, I feel everyone is looking at me like i am _one of those
> 
> 
> _



Since hipster full-on neckbeards _a la_ weird Amish motherfuckers caught on, I've kept my facial topiary trimmed short as a declaration of my unhipness!


----------



## Dan U (Dec 11, 2014)

ViolentPanda said:


> Since hipster full-on neckbeards _a la_ weird Amish motherfuckers caught on, I've kept my facial topiary trimmed short as a declaration of my unhipness!



my beard alerts me it is time for a trim via the medium of collecting marmalade


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 11, 2014)

ViolentPanda said:


> Since hipster full-on neckbeards _a la_ weird Amish motherfuckers caught on, I've kept my facial topiary trimmed short as a declaration of my unhipness!


I've had the same beard for 20 years. 

Beards are long-term investments. In your 20s/30s, they make you look older by hiding your face. In your 40s onwards, they make you look younger by hiding your face. 

I'll be damned if I'm giving up on the investment now.


----------



## RedDragon (Dec 11, 2014)

I liked the C4 interviewer I thought his approach was reasonable.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2014)

Dan U said:


> oil it



Scented beard oil is where it's at, mate. The Persians were using scented beard oils 2,500 years ago, while they were busy sodomising the Spartans.


----------



## Cribynkle (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> It took them a year and a fucking half to open a café that serves nothing but cereal.



They've had to spend a long time getting their website up and running, it must have taken ages to do the menu page:

http://cerealkillercafe.co.uk/#menu

And as for the events and corportae catering (!) page:

http://cerealkillercafe.co.uk/#event-hire-corporate-catering

So it's not like they've just been sat around twiddling their beards


----------



## Cowley (Dec 11, 2014)

Why is it that everywhere is in Dalston these days? Years ago desperados would say they lived in Shoreditch if they lived in Dalston, nowadays it seems it's the other way round


----------



## Utopia (Dec 11, 2014)

RedDragon said:


> I liked the C4 interviewer I thought his approach was reasonable.


 
Felt it was a little unfair to point the finger at 2 youngish chaps on the first day of starting out their independent, creative(to a point!) new business when Tower Hamlets has plenty of Starbuck's, Costa’s or even Subway's that sell over-priced basic goods to an impoverished area and have done for years!


----------



## ChrisFilter (Dec 11, 2014)

Exactly.


----------



## gosub (Dec 11, 2014)

Front for drug money laundering, people leaving coked up will be explained away as being on sugar rush


----------



## SarfLondoner (Dec 11, 2014)

gosub said:


> Front for drug money laundering, people leaving coked up will be explained away as being on sugar rush


Smack,crackle and pot


----------



## Mr Retro (Dec 11, 2014)

Hipsters have put parody out of business.

I've always been naive and easy to take the piss out of but now I'm fucked. I can't work out at all any more when something is serious or taking the piss.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 11, 2014)

Mr Retro said:


> Hipsters have put parody out of business.
> 
> I've always been naive and easy to take the piss out of but now I'm fucked. I can't work out at all any more when something is serious or taking the piss.


parody died the day kissinger won the nobel peace prize.


----------



## boohoo (Dec 11, 2014)

cantsin said:


> yoo can't stand on that end of brick lane and not be aware you're in one of the poorest boroughs of the UK, unless you're a dickhead



I think a lot of people don't see it. I'm sure all the tourists don't - they just think it's all a little rough around the edges.


----------



## cantsin (Dec 11, 2014)

Cowley said:


> Why is it that everywhere is in Dalston these days? Years ago desperados would say they lived in Shoreditch if they lived in Dalston, nowadays it seems it's the other way round



this is a good cple of miles + away from Dalston


----------



## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

cantsin said:


> this is a good cple of miles + away from Dalston


You should go down to the Prince Albert pub in Streatham and see if you can find editor to complain.


----------



## youbeauty (Dec 11, 2014)

Turns out they're a couple of working class brothers from Belfast: http://usvsth3m.com/post/so-i-visited-the-cereal-killer-cafe-and-what-happened-next-surprised-me
Im not sure why these two are getting so much grief for charging £3 for a bowl of cereal when there are loads of places round there charging similar amounts for a coffee.


----------



## gosub (Dec 11, 2014)

youbeauty said:


> Turns out they're a couple of working class brothers from Belfast: http://usvsth3m.com/post/so-i-visited-the-cereal-killer-cafe-and-what-happened-next-surprised-me
> Im not sure why these two are getting so much grief for charging £3 for a bowl of cereal when there are loads of places round there charging similar amounts for a coffee.


There is some skill in making a decent coffee, (wouldn't pay £3, but don't live in London)


----------



## youbeauty (Dec 11, 2014)

That may be but if you can't afford one, you can't afford the other.


----------



## T & P (Dec 11, 2014)

Dan U said:


> i hate this rampant beardism. as someone who has owned a beard, on and off, for over 20 years, I feel everyone is looking at me like i am _one of those
> 
> 
> _


So you had a beard long before it became cool.

That's the kind of claim a hipster would put forward


----------



## Sue (Dec 11, 2014)

ViolentPanda said:


> Brush it regularly, oil it, store snacks in it, provide a home for small birds.



'There was an old man with a beard...'

(Not that I'm saying you're old, blame EL.)


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

youbeauty said:


> That may be but if you can't afford one, you can't afford the other.


Surely that depends on whether you think whether it's worth it. I've noticed the people I know on social media who have been bemoaning this café as evidence of the end of days would think nothing of spending £6 on a pint of craft beer or £15 on a pizza.


----------



## Geri (Dec 11, 2014)

youbeauty said:


> Turns out they're a couple of working class brothers from Belfast: http://usvsth3m.com/post/so-i-visited-the-cereal-killer-cafe-and-what-happened-next-surprised-me
> Im not sure why these two are getting so much grief for charging £3 for a bowl of cereal when there are loads of places round there charging similar amounts for a coffee.


 
Because it's not coffee! It's cereal, you pour it into a bowl and add milk. Rip off.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

Geri said:


> Because it's not coffee! It's cereal, you pour it into a bowl and add milk. Rip off.


Some people would rather have cereal though.


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Dec 11, 2014)

youbeauty said:


> Turns out they're a couple of working class brothers from Belfast: http://usvsth3m.com/post/so-i-visited-the-cereal-killer-cafe-and-what-happened-next-surprised-me
> Im not sure why these two are getting so much grief for charging £3 for a bowl of cereal when there are loads of places round there charging similar amounts for a coffee.


Oh good luck to them  Most small businesses deserve support cos it's bloody hard graft!


----------



## tommers (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Surely that depends on whether you think whether it's worth it. I've noticed the people I know on social media who have been bemoaning this café as evidence of the end of days would think nothing of spending £6 on a pint of craft beer or £15 on a pizza.


Exactly.  It's nonsense.  They're ridiculous but to blame them for people not being able to afford stuff is a bit rich (Ho ho). 

I guess that reporter is outside Barclays right now asking them about rigging the libor rates. Beardy didn't handle it very well but he recognised correctly that he was on a hiding to nothing.  Pubs charge £4 a pint and you can get carling for a quid.


----------



## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

Don't think the price is the problem, it's hard to think what you could have for less round there that comes with a sit down. It's more that it's a big pile of hipster wank.


----------



## alan_ (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> Don't think the price is the problem, it's hard to think what you could have for less round there that comes with a sit down. It's more that it's a big pile of hipster wank.


a shit


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> Don't think the price is the problem, it's hard to think what you could have for less round there that comes with a sit down. It's more that it's a big pile of hipster wank.


No more than coffee or beer is.
It's like that cyber candy shop. It's cool.


----------



## Wolveryeti (Dec 11, 2014)

To state the obvious: punters are paying mainly for the surroundings and staff costs not the cereal in that 3 quid.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> No more than coffee or beer is.
> It's like that cyber candy shop. It's cool.


there's one born every minute


----------



## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> No more than coffee or beer is.


There's a lot more to a good coffee or good beer than there is to finding some kitsch colourful boxes and pouring them into a bowl with milk. And both were enjoyed extensively and openly by discerning adults long before most hipsters were born.



Orang Utan said:


> It's like that cyber candy shop. It's cool.


Wasn't familiar but had a look and they've been in business fourteen years and I would imagine they make at least as much money from expats and children as they do from excitable hipsters on the look out for something unique. This is just a cool café type thing, and one with no depth at all beyond the colourful boxes and 'unique'* idea.

(*unique as in ripped off wholesale from a 7 year old film)


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

It's a matter of taste. I'd rather eat a novelty cereal or chocolate bar than some poncy cup of coffee that tastes of earth or some rancid dark ale that costs £6 a pint. They're all as 'hip' as each other.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> There's a lot more to a good coffee or good beer than there is to finding some kitsch colourful boxes and pouring them into a bowl with milk. And both were enjoyed extensively and openly by discerning adults long before most hipsters were born.
> 
> 
> Wasn't familiar but had a look and they've been in business fourteen years and I would imagine they make at least as much money from expats and children as they do from excitable hipsters on the look out for something unique. This is just a cool café type thing, and one with no depth at all beyond the colourful boxes and 'unique'* idea.
> ...


So what? Don't get the hate apart from the fashionable sneering. The irony of it being cool to dismiss things as shit by labelling them as being for hipsters.


----------



## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> It's a matter of taste. I'd rather eat a novelty cereal or chocolate bar than some poncy cup of coffee that tastes of earth or some rancid dark ale that costs £6 a pint. They're all as 'hip' as each other.


If your coffee tastes like earth it's been made wrong, coffee made from freshly ground beans is rather nice, if you don't like coffee, you don't like coffee. I have one cup a day from nice beans I buy myself as a treat, at work I'm happy with whatever the cafe serves, I won't pay extra for coffees with fancy names, most cafes are shit and leave the grounds in the grinder for hours anyway so whatever it is it tastes bitter.

 I never have and probably never will pay £6 for a pint of beer, but I do like to try a few different beers from the supermarkets when they're on offer. I'm aware that both beer and coffee have expensive 'hipster' purveyors but I'm not really well off enough to sample them.


Orang Utan said:


> So what? Don't get the hate apart from the fashionable sneering. The irony of it being cool to dismiss things as shit by labelling them as being for hipsters.


Never been accused of being fashionable, I just think it's a silly idea, ripped off and without depth. And it was the hipster invasion that priced me out of Hackney so yes I do feel I'm allowed to have a bit of a go at them and make fun of their silly clothes.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> If your coffee tastes like earth it's been made wrong, coffee made from freshly ground beans is rather nice, if you don't like coffee, you don't like coffee. I never have and probably never will pay £6 for a pint of beer, but I do like to try a few different beers from the supermarkets when they're on offer. I'm aware that both beer and coffee have expensive 'hipster' purveyors but I'm not really well off enough to sample them.
> 
> Never been accused of being fashionable, I just think it's a silly idea, ripped off and without depth. And it was the hipster invasion that priced me out of Hackney so yes I do feel I'm allowed to have a bit of a go at them and make fun of their silly clothes.


^^^^^^
All that guff about coffee is the same shit that people sneer at when they talk about artisan bread and novelty cereal - we're all swimming in the same sewage.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> If your coffee tastes like earth it's been made wrong, coffee made from freshly ground beans is rather nice, if you don't like coffee, you don't like coffee. I have one cup a day from nice beans I buy myself as a treat, at work I'm happy with whatever the cafe serves, I won't pay extra for coffees with fancy names, most cafes are shit and leave the grounds in the grinder for hours anyway so whatever it is it tastes bitter.
> 
> I never have and probably never will pay £6 for a pint of beer, but I do like to try a few different beers from the supermarkets when they're on offer. I'm aware that both beer and coffee have expensive 'hipster' purveyors but I'm not really well off enough to sample them.
> 
> Never been accused of being fashionable, I just think it's a silly idea, ripped off and without depth. And it was the hipster invasion that priced me out of Hackney so yes I do feel I'm allowed to have a bit of a go at them and make fun of their silly clothes.


It's the estate agents and property developers who did that.


----------



## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> ^^^^^^
> All that guff about coffee is the same shit that people sneer at when they talk about artisan bread and novelty cereal - we're all swimming in the same sewage.


What guff about coffee? I won't pay stupid money for fancy coffees but I've drunk a lot of coffee in my life and as long as the beans aren't over roasted, it was ground relatively recently and it's a quickish brewing method then it's a much sweeter, tastier drink than pre-ground in a drip machine and a completely different thing to instant. It makes me happy and it's readily available in reasonably priced establishments and at home. If you enjoy sweet colourfully packaged cereals then good luck to you, it's readily available in supermarkets across the country and even served in lots of normal cafés.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> What guff about coffee? I won't pay stupid money for fancy coffees but I've drunk a lot of coffee in my life and as long as the beans aren't over roasted, it was ground relatively recently and it's a quickish brewing method then it's a much sweeter, tastier drink than pre-ground in a drip machine and a completely different thing to instant. It makes me happy and it's readily available in reasonably priced establishments and at home. If you enjoy sweet colourfully packaged cereals then good luck to you, it's readily available in supermarkets across the country and even served in lots of normal cafés.


More guff.
You can get coffee in supermarkets too.


----------



## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> More guff.
> You can get coffee in supermarkets too.



Yes. I get mine from supermarkets.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> Yes. I get mine from supermarkets.


But when you go drink it in a caff, you pay more.


----------



## maomao (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> But when you go drink it in a caff, you pay more.


Up to £1.50. I would turn up my nose at coffee in a cafe for over 2 quid on all but a very special occasion and always if I was having it alone.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> Up to £1.50. I would turn up my nose at coffee in a cafe for over 2 quid on all but a very special occasion and always if I was having it alone.


Good for you


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Dec 11, 2014)

I can't say I'm bothered if someone wants to try it.  Shops can be profitable with all kinds of business models.  Here's one that sells all kinds of soda pop:







http://www.rocketfizz.com/


----------



## Sweet FA (Dec 11, 2014)

maomao said:


> Up to £1.50. I would turn up my nose at coffee in a cafe for over 2 quid on all but a very special occasion and always if I was having it alone.


So you could have a couple of cups of coffee and OU could have a bowl of cereal but he'd be wasting his money?


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Dec 11, 2014)

We've got a milkshake shop near us that makes milkshakes out of sweets. It's fun. The kids and students LOVE it. It was called Shakey Jakes. Jake fucking hated milkshakes, students and I suspect kids. He sold it eventually. It's called Shake It now but doesn't have the same ring to it and Jakes missed.

Three quid a pop but worth it. They were like a big pudding each!


----------



## marty21 (Dec 11, 2014)

Dan U said:


> i hate this rampant beardism. as someone who has owned a beard, on and off, for over 20 years, I feel everyone is looking at me like i am _one of those
> 
> 
> _


avoid this by having a grey beard


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

There's these shops all over london that sell nothing but deep fried food. Fucking hipsters.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

marty21 said:


> avoid this by having a grey beard


The fellas who own the shop have grey beards


----------



## fishfinger (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> The fellas who own the shop have grey beards


No they don't


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Dec 11, 2014)

Nancy_Winks said:


> That cannot be real  How can anyone be/look/act such a characature? ....



Oh, it just might be possible.....


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2014)

fishfinger said:


> No they don't


They did in the pics I've seen
ETA: oops it's the hair not the beards


----------



## marty21 (Dec 11, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> The fellas who own the shop have grey beards


they have grey hair but dark beards  

tbh, I can't get upset about this - Hackney has been going this way for years, can't imagine going to this place, and Brick Lane has changing for years - don't they have a beach in one of the bars there in the summer?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 11, 2014)

marty21 said:


> don't they have a beach in one of the bars there in the summer?


i think you need your lugs cleaning out


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Dec 11, 2014)

marty21 said:


> they have grey hair but dark beards



I think its worse than grey hair and dark beards.  I think its actually blonde highlights and dark beards.


----------



## maomao (Dec 12, 2014)

Sweet FA said:


> So you could have a couple of cups of coffee and OU could have a bowl of cereal but he'd be wasting his money?


He can spend his money on what the fuck he wants and I can take the piss out of what the fuck I want.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 12, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> ^^^^^^
> All that guff about coffee is the same shit that people sneer at when they talk about artisan bread and novelty cereal - we're all swimming in the same sewage.



Depends on the context. Some of those "sneers" are "what the fuck?"-ness at someone paying £6+ for a loaf of bread - it's a bit of a shock to the system when you can only afford to pay 20% of that at maximum for your loaf. If I want a sourdough rye bread, I have to make it myself, and the most "novelty" my cereal gets is "Choco Shells" from Lidl.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 12, 2014)

maomao said:


> Up to £1.50. I would turn up my nose at coffee in a cafe for over 2 quid on all but a very special occasion and always if I was having it alone.



TBF, I turn my nose up at all coffee, since my gastric ulcer. 20 years coffee-free!


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 13, 2014)

Open letter on their Facebook page:





> Dear channel 4 News and Symeon Brown
> 
> I am writing this open letter of complaint to you because I feel what you have tried to do to me was completely unfair. I repeatedly told you I was too busy to do interviews, kept pushing me and pushing me even though I had a cafe full of customers wanting to be served. First of all you tried to blame me for the property prices in London before attacking me with questions about poverty.
> 
> ...


Can't help feeling it's all a bit adolescent; "oh, I'm responsible for everything, am I?!", "the worst person in the world"  I'm pretty sure that's not what the reporter was saying, more that he was asking questions about how much they'd considered where and what they were setting up.

I do think it was a bit of a dick move to ambush the guy in the middle of a very busy opening day, but the fact it seemed like he hadn't even considered the issues didn't reflect well on him either.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 13, 2014)

Nice bit of casual sexism at the end.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 13, 2014)

He is not to blame, no, him and others are meerly exploiting an oppotunity...his attitude and toys out of the pram letter speak volumes though. They were courting the media in the run up to the launch, now it was the wrong time to interview him? No, he's just upset because the interview showed him up for not having the slightest clue where he has set up business.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 13, 2014)

From one of the most deprived areas in Belfast yet had no idea that TH has a history as rich in poverty and struggle as it has?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 13, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> He is not to blame, no, him and others are meerly exploiting an oppotunity...his attitude and toys out of the pram letter speak volumes though. They were courting the media in the run up to the launch, now it was the wrong time to interview him? No, he's just upset because the interview showed him up for not having the slightest clue where he has set up business.


Yup, pretty much.


----------



## IC3D (Dec 13, 2014)

poptyping said:


> Nice bit of casual sexism at the end.


 this guy can't do anything right. That reporter was a right jumped up tosser and I think that was a pretty good dis. Happy Hipster Xmas Dublin guy.


----------



## Ted Striker (Dec 13, 2014)

Tbf, It's quite ballsy to do an open letter when you write in the style of a petulant 5 year old.


----------



## Spymaster (Dec 13, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> So what? Don't get the hate apart from the fashionable sneering. The irony of it being cool to dismiss things as shit by labelling them as being for hipsters.



It's what this site often does best. 

I think it's a typical vanity project and poorly thought out. By my reckoning they're going to need to serve over 100 bowls of cereal a day just to pay the rent, rates and bills. 

Good luck to them though.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

He does have a point about the suit, though. That reporter will be on a nice wage. How come he takes a wage like that when there is poverty around him? TBH the reporter's point was no more sophisticated than that.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 13, 2014)

Could not resist:



> What part of Belfast are you from? You see I have this great business idea to import bottled water from all over the world and sell it for £5 a pop...it will be great don't you think, i'll even throw in a coloured straw FREE with each purchase. Sure some people might not be able to afford it but i'll make sure to donate a case or two to local charities to ease my social conscience. What do you think? We will call it a cultural exchange to silence the dissenters.


----------



## Chilli.s (Dec 13, 2014)

Doin a runner on a £3.20 bill, thats class.


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 13, 2014)

That letter shows him up as a right prick. What an idiot!
If he was already planning to serve breakfast to underprivileged children then why did it comes as surprise that the brought is rife with deprivation? And why not mention that in the interview and talk about businesses serving their communities as well as their customers, or at least HIS business serving the community?

I'm not even going to dissect what his self proclaimed 'great work ethic' might entail.
I think if he really did give a fuck about poverty (which he claims to know very much about) then he wouldn't treat questions about it as a personal attack.
whattaprick


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 13, 2014)

Pretty much shifty. yes.


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> He does have a point about the suit, though. That reporter will be on a nice wage. How come he takes a wage like that when there is poverty around him? TBH the reporter's point was no more sophisticated than that.


No he doesn't. If you were on television news program you too would have to wear an outfit that reflects the shows values: a uniform. 
The reporters point was not 'you're not poor: you don't belong here' it was about gentrification.


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 13, 2014)

But I do love the petulant insult of it being an _'overpriced River Island suit' _


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> He does have a point about the suit, though. That reporter will be on a nice wage. How come he takes a wage like that when there is poverty around him? TBH the reporter's point was no more sophisticated than that.



Journalists really don't get paid as much as you think.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

poptyping said:


> Journalists really don't get paid as much as you think.


People really don't need to earn as much as you think to afford to pay £3.20 for a bowl of cereal in a brightly decorated room. 

He will be earning in the same bracket as the hipster clientele. Maybe 30-40k a year.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> People really don't need to earn as much as you think to afford to pay £3.20 for a bowl of cereal in a brightly decorated room.
> 
> He will be earning in the same bracket as the hipster clientele. Maybe 30-40k a year.



Where do you get those figures from? Lots of journos are freelance or are on shitty temp contracts, with long hours, no holidays, pension etc.


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

I know fuck all about clothes but is River Island not a popular High St store with average kind of prices? A former colleague of mine used to shop there regularly and she's a single mum on about £24k.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

maomao said:


> I know fuck all about clothes but is River Island not a popular High St store with average kind of prices? A former colleague of mine used to shop there regularly and she's a single mum on about £24k,


And that's the whole bloody point. You don't have to be a millionaire to spend three quid on a bowl of cereal.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

poptyping said:


> Where do you get those figures from? Lots of journos are freelance or are on shitty temp contracts, with long hours, no holidays, pension etc.


Oh fuck off. I know full well what the life of a freelance journo is like, and one who is getting gigs on national tv will be doing ok.


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 13, 2014)

maomao said:


> I know fuck all about clothes but is River Island not a popular High St store with average kind of prices? A former colleague of mine used to shop there regularly and she's a single mum on about £24k,


Yeah, you're right.It's as if he couldn't choose between insulting him for wearing an expensive suit or a cheap one so he tried an amalgamation of the two


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

This:
http://www.newstatesman.com/politic...hy-lazy-hipster-bashing-wont-solve-inequality


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> And that's the whole bloody point. You don't have to be a millionaire to spend three quid on a bowl of cereal.


How is that the point of the proprietor accusing him of wearing an 'overpriced river island suit'.

Fwiw, I don't think £3 is bad for a snack with a sit down though I'd guess they're counting on very quick customer turnover, it takes me about 3 minutes to eat my bowl of shreddies in the morning.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> People really don't need to earn as much as you think to afford to pay £3.20 for a bowl of cereal in a brightly decorated room.
> 
> He will be earning in the same bracket as the hipster clientele. Maybe 30-40k a year.


Surely most 'hipsters' are students?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> And that's the whole bloody point. You don't have to be a millionaire to spend three quid on a bowl of cereal.


No, but you do have to be able to afford more than the very basics, which I believe is the point being made. It's not being said that people don't have £3.20 to spend, just that it will go on countless other things before many would consider using it on one bowl of cereal.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Lord Camomile said:


> No, but you do have to be able to afford more than the very basics, which I believe is the point being made. It's not being said that people don't have £3.20 to spend, just that it will go on countless other things before many would consider using it on one bowl of cereal.


Well the test of that will be if it survives. You can say the same thing about drinking coffee at starbucks or having a pint at the pub, or a curry at a curryhouse, or a whole number of other things. This is a disposable income place, just like loads and loads of places all around it.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Surely most 'hipsters' are students?


I was thinking of graphic designers, tbh. Hence a wage around 30k. There seems to be some misplaced idea here that hipsters are some fabulously wealthy group.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Oh fuck off. I know full well what the life of a freelance journo is like, and one who is getting gigs on national tv will be doing ok.



No need to throw your toys out the pram. 

This guy is only 26/7 it takes years of experience to get to a decent liveable wage as a journalist. 

How do you know what it's like? Are you a journalist?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Well the test of that will be if it survives. You can say the same thing about drinking coffee at starbucks or having a pint at the pub, or a curry at a curryhouse, or a whole number of other things. This is a disposable income place, just like loads and loads of places all around it.


And those kind of establishments have never come in for similar criticism? Of course they have, it's just this is a new story, and has a bit of 'flavour' because it's more unusual.

The report could have been conducted better, but the point still stands that this is a 'small business' which is not very concerned with the surrounding community it has set up in, and I think the owners should at least be asked the question.

"But there are other people doing it!" is not a valid reason to avoid the issue.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Lord Camomile said:


> "But there are other people doing it!" is not a valid reason to avoid the issue.


Like pubs, you mean?


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

poptyping said:


> No need to throw your toys out the pram.
> 
> This guy is only 26/7 it takes years of experience to get to a decent liveable wage as a journalist.
> 
> How do you know what it's like? Are you a journalist?


Used to be. And I know the rates.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Lord Camomile said:


> The report could have been conducted better, but the point still stands that this is a 'small business' which is not very concerned with the surrounding community it has set up in, and I think the owners should at least be asked the question.


See this is not true. How come private rents in the surrounding community are sky-high? There are pretty wealthy people living around there too, and they are also part of the 'surrounding community'. And guess what, very very very few businesses open with the aim of serving the poorest people with no money for anything other than the basics. Many of them aim at those with at least some disposable income. 

There is also a cultural issue here that is being ignored - in that area, many of the poorest are of Bangladeshi origin. They don't use many of the disposable income places around there, yet this one is singled out.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Like pubs, you mean?


To be honest, a lot of pub prices leave me sick as well, particularly as someone who drinks soft drinks. Probably still more 'value added' than £3.20 for a bowl of cereal, though, and with a broader appeal.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Used to be. And I know the rates.



Well you'll know then that the starting salary for a journalist on a newspaper in London is 16k then. Granted broadcast will be slightly higher but as I said this guy isn't long out of journo college and it takes years of experience to attract those higher salaries. But his salary isn't really the point. As a further aside the cost of living has gone up massively in the last few years making journo careers even harder to get into unless you've got family backing.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Surely most 'hipsters' are students?



I'm never quite sure what a 'hipster' is but most people I see who fit the description seem quite a bit older.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Lord Camomile said:


> To be honest, a lot of pub prices leave me sick as well, particularly as someone who drinks soft drinks. Probably still more 'value added' than £3.20 for a bowl of cereal, though, and with a broader appeal.


The value added is mostly in the form of the room to drink/eat your cereal in. We'll see if this works. My guess is that it won't. But that doesn't make it an evil idea.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> yet this one is singled out.


Has it been singled out, in the grand scheme of things? This one report, barely a few minutes, and some news articles and web chatter. There's been plenty of discussion about the other issues and institutions involved elsewhere; this story has probably got a bit more traction because of the novelty, but it's not being 'singled out' as the only transgressor.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 13, 2014)

It hasn't been singled out. Remember the treatment the 'death row cafe' got a while back?


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Lord Camomile said:


> Has it been singled out, in the grand scheme of things? This one report, barely a few minutes, and some news articles and web chatter. There's been plenty of discussion about the other issues and institutions involved elsewhere; this story has probably got a bit more traction because of the novelty, but it's not being 'singled out' as the only transgressor.


Yes, it has, in the grand scheme of things, as the pubs and cafes and restaurants next door have been left alone.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 13, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> It hasn't been singled out. Remember the treatment the 'death row cafe' got a while back?



This. It got shut down before it even opened.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

Surely being 'singled out' is exactly what they wanted? A café selling nothing but breakfast cereals is a daft enough idea that it made the news and given its location its no real surprise that the wider issue of gentrification was raised.


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> I'm never quite sure what a 'hipster' is but most people I see who fit the description seem quite a bit older.


Ageist!


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> It hasn't been singled out. Remember the treatment the 'death row cafe' got a while back?


I must have missed the part of the report where they considered all the other businesses in the area that are aimed at people with disposable income.


----------



## IC3D (Dec 13, 2014)

Dublin hipster man is clearly a Marxist who's going to announce the whole thing is a performance artwork demonstrating how capitalism took over our breakfast tables via Freudian analytics in advertising to sell the proletariat branded cereals. There's going to be some egg on faces here when you see the irony.


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

Lord Camomile said:


> Has it been singled out, in the grand scheme of things? This one report, barely a few minutes, and some news articles and web chatter. There's been plenty of discussion about the other issues and institutions involved elsewhere; this story has probably got a bit more traction because of the novelty, but it's not being 'singled out' as the only transgressor.


Personally I don't think 3-4 quid is that bad for a sit down snack and don't hold these two personally responsible for the gentrification of Brick Lane. I just happen to think it's a vacuous idea and they're a pair of vacant twats, which one of them certainly proved in his immediate and written responses to a question which was only a little over the top.


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> I must have missed the part of the report where they considered all the other businesses in the area that are aimed at people with disposable income.


Are you not allowed to ask a question in an interview unless you ask the same question of all the interviewees peers? I was unaware of that rule.


----------



## ShiftyBagLady (Dec 13, 2014)

IC3D said:


> Dublin hipster man is clearly a Marxist who's going to announce the whole thing is an performance artwork demonstrating the how capitalism took over our breakfast tables via Freudian analytics's in advertising to sell the proletariat branded cereals. There's going to be some egg on faces here when you see the irony.


Calm down everybody, this has all just been an absurdist joke


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> I'm never quite sure what a 'hipster' is but most people I see who fit the description seem quite a bit older.


It tends to just mean someone who dresses differently to you.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

maomao said:


> Personally I don't think 3-4 quid is that bad for a sit down snack and don't hold these two personally responsible for the gentrification of Brick Lane. I just happen to think it's a vacuous idea and they're a pair of vacant twats, which one of them certainly proved in his immediate and written responses to a question which was only a little over the top.


That area became prohibitively expensive to anyone not in social housing well over a decade ago, btw.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> I must have missed the part of the report where they considered all the other businesses in the area that are aimed at people with disposable income.



Oh come on. They were courting the media in the run up to the launch, they are only pissed off because this interview never went their way.


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> That area became prohibitively expensive to anyone not in social housing well over a decade ago, btw.


I'm aware of that. Brick Lane used to be a wicked market for buying tools and cheap tobacco when I was a young un but hasn't been any good for years now.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> It tends to just mean someone who dresses differently to you.



I don't think it does ime, people usually use it to mean a specific look.


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> I don't think it does ime, people usually use it to mean a specific look.


It definitely doesn't just mean someone who dresses differently.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> I'm never quite sure what a 'hipster' is but most people I see who fit the description seem quite a bit older.


Indeed. Editor, for instance.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 13, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> Oh come on. They were courting the media in the run up to the launch, they are only pissed off because this interview never went their way.



Absolutely. And this guy has shown his true colours in his response.

All that guff about hard work and not blaming others. It's clear what he thinks about the people that live on his doorstep.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> I don't think it does ime, people usually use it to mean a specific look.


Well that look seems to change all the time. 
I've young friends who could be described as hipsters and older friends too, hell, _I've_ been accused of being one, yet we all dress differently.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

maomao said:


> I'm aware of that. Brick Lane used to be a wicked market for buying tools and* horrible counterfeit baccy *when I was a young un but hasn't been any good for years now.


corrected for ya.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Well that look seems to change all the time.
> I've young friends who could be described as hipsters and older friends too, hell, _I've_ been accused of being one, yet we all dress differently.



You ride a bike everywhere, have a beard and wear a cravat to work; what do you bloody expect


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

I wonder if anyone actually thinks of themselves as a hipster or whether it's just a term that's used to label others.


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> corrected for ya.


The counterfeit stuff only turned up about 10-12 years ago IME. I was out of the country from 99-03 but before that you could buy Drum and French Golden Vag down there at a fraction of the shop price.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

maomao said:


> The counterfeit stuff only turned up about 10-12 years ago IME. I was out of the country from 99-03 but before that you could buy Drum and French Golden Vag down there at a fraction of the shop price.


I got stung a couple of times. You had to make sure the seal was there. If not, it was floor scrapings.


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> I got stung a couple of times. You had to make sure the seal was there. If not, it was floor scrapings.


The packet was also a slightly different colour usually. It was counterfeit stuff from Southern Europe, pretty easy to tell the difference once you'd been fucked over a couple of times.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 13, 2014)

Still smoked it all, mind.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> I don't think it does ime, people usually use it to mean a specific look.



I think it's essentially used to project a fairly extreme archetype onto anyone who even vaguely resembles it in any way. There are probably a handful of people who it really fits IMO (quite probably including these twats tbf).


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

Well they've done well from the publicity. A mate went past there this morning:


----------



## IC3D (Dec 13, 2014)

A mate sure. Were you wiping the Himalayan yak milk out of your beard when you took that Orang Utan?


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

The only restaurant I'd queue to get in to is cosmos buffet.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

I certainly wouldn't queue for a bowl of cheerios.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

IC3D said:


> A mate sure. Were you wiping the Himalayan yak milk out of your beard when you took that Orang Utan?


Not me.
I might go in the new year when the excitement dies down a bit. I'll be living just round the corner for the next two months, so will definitely at least have a look at their menu.


----------



## Geri (Dec 13, 2014)

I can't see it working in the long term. I think people might go there for the novelty value in the beginning, but I can't imagine cereal being enough of a draw to keep them in business.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

Geri said:


> I can't see it working in the long term. I think people might go there for the novelty value in the beginning, but I can't imagine cereal being enough of a draw to keep them in business.


I rec-corn you're right


----------



## maomao (Dec 13, 2014)

If it is a success some other fucker'll start a chain and pt them out of business. They obviously didn't watch Flakes through to the end.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

Geri said:


> I can't see it working in the long term. I think people might go there for the novelty value in the beginning, but I can't imagine cereal being enough of a draw to keep them in business.



Yes, I was surprised they managed to get a loan for what's basically one of those ideas that sounds cool when you're stoned.

IIRC restaurants and cafes are the businesses most likely to fail.


----------



## gabi (Dec 13, 2014)

What I find most baffling about this constant whinging about 'hipsters' is that you, editor, spend so much time in these places. I'm sitting in one of your favorite ones right now, Kaff. It's nice. But yes, there are glowing Apple logos everywhere and more beards than even the hippest barber in the market could handle.

Deal with it. Change happens. I've been back in Brixton a week after two years and to be honest, it hasn't changed as much as I'd thought from the constant whining on here from you and others. It's still the best bit of of the best city in the world.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

maomao said:


> If it is a success some other fucker'll start a chain and pt them out of business. They obviously didn't watch Flakes through to the end.



They're going to lose all their customers to the new Swiss themed Muesli café I'm going to open next door.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> They're going to lose all their customers to the new Swiss themed Muesli café I'm going to open next door.



I'll look forward to seeing you in your lederhosen on C4 news.


----------



## goldenecitrone (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


> They're going to lose all their customers to the new Swiss themed Muesli café I'm going to open next door.



Call it Abowlofgrits Now with the logo *I love the smell of Alpen in the mornings.*


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)




----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2014)

Belushi said:


>


Put this up on the wall:
 
and just wait for the news crews to turn up.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 13, 2014)

Those hipster twins thought they we're being edgy with the Ian Watkins look but I'm really raising the bar with my Berchtesgaden 'Eagles Nest' theme :thumbs :


----------



## tommers (Dec 13, 2014)

And with mention of the nazis the thread achieved transcendence.


----------



## tommers (Dec 13, 2014)

This needs one of those "what happened next"  things you get at the end of documentaries. 

"Symeone developed his ambush style of interviewing and now fronts newsnight.  His suits are handmade by a Savile Row tailor"

"The twins are sold their cafe to Apple for £50 million and are replacing Sir Alan Sugar in the next series of the Apprentice. "


----------



## bromley (Dec 14, 2014)

I saw a box of lucky charms in Tescos Lewisham for £4, for those that have cereal nostalgia but don't like hipsters.


----------



## Ranbay (Dec 14, 2014)

bromley said:


> I saw a box of lucky charms in Tescos Lewisham for £4, for those that have cereal nostalgia but don't like hipsters.



£4 what a rip off, i can fly to the USA and get them for $2


----------



## tommers (Dec 14, 2014)

bromley said:


> I saw a box of lucky charms in Tescos Lewisham for £4, for those that have cereal nostalgia but don't like hipsters.


£4!  Who the fuck can afford that?


----------



## gosub (Dec 14, 2014)




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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 14, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> This:
> http://www.newstatesman.com/politic...hy-lazy-hipster-bashing-wont-solve-inequality


I liked this, but it's equally guilty of said lazy journalism by bringing up the Brunswick Centre. I'm guessing they mean the Italian opposite the cinema, which is quite pricey. But they neglect to mention that literally two doors down from that is a Nando's. There's also a health centre, a Superdrug, a couple of supermarkets, a card shop, Boot's, a Yosushi and an assortment of mid-price clothes chains. And a bookie.

Does this person remember what the BC used to be like? It had a pretty ropey Tesco, a large greasy spoon, and um, not much else. It was grim, and felt grim, and families didn't hang out there in the way they do now. It felt not particularly safe. Now I lament the demise of the greasy spoon, but there's still a good, cheap cafe just about a minute's walk from the BC.

I'm guessing this journo didn't actually bother asking what the people who live there think of the changes. Also lazy to equate 'lives in social housing' with 'skint'.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 14, 2014)

We are heading this way...same shit, different country:



> *A token solution for the Downtown Eastside*
> By
> Michael Stewart
> | November 23, 2012
> ...



http://rabble.ca/blogs/bloggers/michael-stewart/2012/11/token-solution-downtown-eastside


----------



## Belushi (Dec 14, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> I'm guessing this journo didn't actually bother asking what the people who live there think of the changes. Also lazy to equate 'lives in social housing' with 'skint'.



Yes, I've never been in one but the flats look spacious and light from the outside. I'm sure any that have been sold under right to buy would cost a good few hundred thousand pounds on the open market.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 14, 2014)

Belushi said:


> Yes, I've never been in one but the flats look spacious and light from the outside. I'm sure any that have been sold under right to buy would cost a good few hundred thousand pounds on the open market.


yeah, I'd love to live there. The BC is a spectacularly bad eg of gentrification, tbh. It's urban regeneration, really, given what has been replaced.


----------



## maomao (Dec 14, 2014)

Belushi said:


> Yes, I've never been in one but the flats look spacious and light from the outside. I'm sure any that have been sold under right to buy would cost a good few hundred thousand pounds on the open market.



Last sale I can find there was £850k for a 2 bed leasehold in April this year.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 14, 2014)

maomao said:


> Last sale I can find there was £850k for a 2 bed leasehold in April this year.


Fuck!


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 14, 2014)

2 bedroomed new build flats in Haggerston are currently half a million pounds.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 14, 2014)

Which nicely illustrates that a crunchy nut cornflake café is just a symptom of a city that's deeply fucked


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 14, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> 2 bedroomed new build flats in Haggerston are currently half a million pounds.


Haggerston is a good example of a place that needed regeneration, tbh. I lived there for a bit in the mid-90s, and in the square by the block I was in, the shops were mostly boarded up. There was a bookie and offie, inevitably, and not much else. The adventure playground was totally derelict. It wasn't very pleasant.

Problem is that the idea of regeneration that doesn't involve yet more hikes in property prices appears to have been more or less totally lost.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 14, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Haggerston is a good example of a place that needed regeneration, tbh. I lived there for a bit in the mid-90s, and in the square by the block I was in, the shops were mostly boarded up. There was a bookie and offie, inevitably, and not much else. The adventure playground was totally derelict. It wasn't very pleasant.
> 
> Problem is that the idea of regeneration that doesn't involve yet more hikes in property prices appears to have been more or less totally lost.



I moved from Haggerston last year after being _socially cleansed_ regenerated from there. I lived on Haggerston Estate from 1996, until then. We did not need the kind of re-generation we got, what we needed was for the local council to invest appropriately in the area.

What they actually did was systematically under maintain the estates we lived on so that when they moved to sell the land out from under us, most people were so unhappy that they voted yes to being taken over by L&Q.

They were deliberate about leaving the buldings to run down and rot. Low and behold when 'improvement' surveys were done the flats were condemned, on account of how much it would cost to refurbish/renew. This is going on everywhere.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 14, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> We did not need the kind of re-generation we got, what we needed was for the local council to invest appropriately in the area..


Yes, indeed. TBF there are better examples elsewhere - around King's Cross, for instance, where estates have been improved a fair bit without the social cleansing.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 14, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> I moved from Haggerston last year after being _socially cleansed_ regenerated from there. I lived on Haggerston Estate from 1996, until then. We did not need the kind of re-generation we got, what we needed was for the local council to invest appropriately in the area.
> 
> What they actually did was systematically under maintain the estates we lived on so that when they moved to sell the land out from under us, most people were so unhappy that they voted yes to being taken over by L&Q.
> 
> They were deliberate about leaving the buldings to run down and rot. Low and behold when 'improvement' surveys were done the flats were condemned, on account of how much it would cost to refurbish/renew. This is going on everywhere.



Yep Lambeth council are currently trying to pull this on the estate that Greebo and I live on.


----------



## harpo (Dec 15, 2014)

The only reason hating has gone on with this venture is the beards.  They could've passed unnoticed without them and for whatever reason, those kinds of beards inspire irrational hatred. 

That is where they went wrong.


----------



## harpo (Dec 15, 2014)

Oh and Brick Lane (which is not Dalston) has been full of ridiculously priced ventures for at least 10 years.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 16, 2014)

http://samkriss.wordpress.com/2014/12/15/a-visit-to-the-cereal-cafe/


----------



## uk benzo (Dec 16, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> I liked this, but it's equally guilty of said lazy journalism by bringing up the Brunswick Centre. I'm guessing they mean the Italian opposite the cinema, which is quite pricey. But they neglect to mention that literally two doors down from that is a Nando's. There's also a health centre, a Superdrug, a couple of supermarkets, a card shop, Boot's, a Yosushi and an assortment of mid-price clothes chains. And a bookie.
> 
> Does this person remember what the BC used to be like? It had a pretty ropey Tesco, a large greasy spoon, and um, not much else. It was grim, and felt grim, and families didn't hang out there in the way they do now. It felt not particularly safe. Now I lament the demise of the greasy spoon, but there's still a good, cheap cafe just about a minute's walk from the BC.
> 
> I'm guessing this journo didn't actually bother asking what the people who live there think of the changes. Also lazy to equate 'lives in social housing' with 'skint'.




The greasy spoon was a Jennys Burger. I knew the owner. A Swiss guy that worked his arse off to put his son through education. His son became a medically qualified histopathologist no less.


----------



## RoyReed (Dec 16, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> http://samkriss.wordpress.com/2014/12/15/a-visit-to-the-cereal-cafe/


A Ballardian vision of cereal hell!


----------



## belboid (Dec 16, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> http://samkriss.wordpress.com/2014/12/15/a-visit-to-the-cereal-cafe/


christ what a twat. A perfect fit with the cafe.


----------



## youngian (Dec 16, 2014)

This is as much clickbait for lefties as much as Daily Mail article about the Roma moving next door is to their demographic. They are not the only ones selling overpriced nonsense to other tossers. As anyone whose seen someone pay money for water in a supermarket will testify. I would never come up with these kind of business ideas as I'd never believe there was enough demand for such idiocy and would certainly have no intention of feeding it. And I'm glad I think that way.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 16, 2014)




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## rutabowa (Dec 19, 2014)

harpo said:


> The only reason hating has gone on with this venture is the beards.  They could've passed unnoticed without them and for whatever reason, those kinds of beards inspire irrational hatred.
> 
> That is where they went wrong.


they went wrong? apparently it's been packed ever since it opened.


----------



## DotCommunist (Dec 19, 2014)

anyone on the thread been there yet? 4 quid bowl of cereal lol.

I still might consider it if the cereal was sufficiently exotic and sugary. But only once.


----------



## Ted Striker (Dec 19, 2014)

uk benzo said:


> The greasy spoon was a Jennys Burger. I knew the owner. A Swiss guy that worked his arse off to put his son through education. His son became a medically qualified histopathologist no less.



As opposed to a medically qualified hipstathologist, like these two


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 19, 2014)

DotCommunist said:


> anyone on the thread been there yet? 4 quid bowl of cereal lol.
> 
> I still might consider it if the cereal was sufficiently exotic and sugary. But only once.


I'm living just round the corner right now so am going there for pudding soon after eating a hipster burrito.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 19, 2014)

I had a Unicorn Poop cereal cocktail for £4.50. It was alright.

Can the title of this thread be updated with the correct location please?


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 19, 2014)

Forgot the obligatory photo:


----------



## maomao (Dec 19, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Forgot the obligatory photo:
> View attachment 65290


That's not even a proper cereal bowl! That's a little ice cream bowl!


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Dec 19, 2014)

maomao said:


> That's not even a proper cereal bowl! That's a little ice cream bowl!



Right! They've gone too far now!


----------



## marty21 (Dec 19, 2014)

Someone told me there is a cat cafe near the cereal cafe , a cafe for cats , not hip cats, furry meowing cats . This didn't get all the stick that the cereal cafe got, I think non cats can go there as well and have non cat treats


----------



## Fingers (Dec 19, 2014)

Fuckers.


----------



## BoxRoom (Dec 19, 2014)

maomao said:


> That's not even a proper cereal bowl! That's a little ice cream bowl!


It's like something some bizarre people put baked beans in as part of their FEB.


----------



## maomao (Dec 19, 2014)

I want to go there just so I can kick off about the serving size now. That's barely a tablespoon.


----------



## marty21 (Dec 19, 2014)

BoxRoom said:


> It's like something some bizarre people put baked beans in as part of their FEB.


It is part of a FEB


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Dec 19, 2014)

Cereal ramekins


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 19, 2014)

It was delicious. I doubt I will go again, mind.


----------



## BoxRoom (Dec 19, 2014)

marty21 said:


> It is part of a FEB



I know! 

I had to re-word it after I first typed it coz it made it look like I said it was optional or something.
For the record: Beans loose on the plate with no barrier twixt beans and egg.

Win.


----------



## Giles (Dec 19, 2014)

Lo Siento. said:


> Gotta say. There's about a million other people this reporter could/should be asking this sort of question to. Like, these two are obviously total fuckheads and the fact that they get the resources to set this nonsense up is grossly unfair on all the people in Tower Hamlets who'll never get such great opportunities ... but... they're not actually responsible for poverty in Tower Hamlets, they're not responsible for our capital city being used as a plaything/money tree for real estate investors/agents or even the vacuousness of modern subcultures. They're just regular strength arseholes being pandered to by a society that doesn't know the actual value of anything at all.



You could walk into pretty much any restaurant / cafe / bar anywhere, and "accuse" the owners of somehow "ignoring the poor" on the grounds that people who are skint don't spend money to eat or drink "out" because they can buy 10x the food in shops and eat it at home.

If they can persuade enough fools to hand over £3 or £5 for a bowl of corn flakes worth 10p, good luck to them.


----------



## Lo Siento. (Dec 19, 2014)

Giles said:


> You could walk into pretty much any restaurant / cafe / bar anywhere, and "accuse" the owners of somehow "ignoring the poor" on the grounds that people who are skint don't spend money to eat or drink "out" because they can buy 10x the food in shops and eat it at home.
> 
> If they can persuade enough fools to hand over £3 or £5 for a bowl of corn flakes worth 10p, good luck to them.


Good luck to them is a bit of a stretch, imo. They're still wankers.


----------



## marty21 (Dec 19, 2014)

BoxRoom said:


> I know!
> 
> I had to re-word it after I first typed it coz it made it look like I said it was optional or something.
> For the record: Beans loose on the plate with no barrier twixt beans and egg.
> ...


Yes


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 19, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Forgot the obligatory photo:
> View attachment 65290



I have the perfect outfit to wear whilst eating that...I'll make sure i'm wearing this when I go to eat a bowl of expensive _sugar_ there.


----------



## gosub (Dec 19, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Forgot the obligatory photo



So there's a queue out the door to sit in a dank basement and instagram photos of bowls of cereal.


----------



## Cid (Dec 21, 2014)

maomao said:


> The counterfeit stuff only turned up about 10-12 years ago IME. I was out of the country from 99-03 but before that you could buy Drum and French Golden Vag down there at a fraction of the shop price.



The stolen bikes were a bargain too.


----------



## jakejb79 (Dec 21, 2014)

DotCommunist said:


> anyone on the thread been there yet? 4 quid bowl of cereal lol.
> 
> I still might consider it if the cereal was sufficiently exotic and sugary. But only once.



I've been there and I like it they have a wide range of choice and me and my friend really enjoyed it. 

I fail to understand why this small cafe gets such criticism about Tower Hamlets poverty when the borough has the HQ's of three international banks, various Starbucks etc and of course Mt Rahmans alleged squandering of public money.


----------



## DotCommunist (Dec 21, 2014)

jakejb79 said:


> I've been there and I like it they have a wide range of choice and me and my friend really enjoyed it.
> 
> I fail to understand why this small cafe gets such criticism about Tower Hamlets poverty when the borough has the HQ's of three international banks, various Starbucks etc and of course Mt Rahmans alleged squandering of public money.




Ah well, you know why it is in my honest? People expect banks to wade in and give it the biggun, same as a Tesco's or a car showroom. The likes of that notoriously give not a flying fuck if half the population in the local vicinty won't be buying.

Its the comic book omnicorp 'Welcome to the 21st century citizen! your choices are now 500 different brands of cereal! Thank god we beat the socialists!'


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 21, 2014)

DotCommunist said:


> Ah well, you know why it is in my honest? People expect banks to wade in and give it the biggun, same as a Tesco's or a car showroom. The likes of that notoriously give not a flying fuck if half the population in the local vicinty won't be buying.
> 
> Its the comic book omnicorp 'Welcome to the 21st century citizen! your choices are now 500 different brands of cereal! Thank god we beat the socialists!'


I find it hard to hate them. As a symbol of all that is wrong with the world, they're pretty rubbish. If only the world were only that wrong.


----------



## DotCommunist (Dec 21, 2014)

littlebabyjesus said:


> I find it hard to hate them. As a symbol of all that is wrong with the world, they're pretty rubbish. If only the world were only that wrong.


you've not read your 2000ad brother- its the same stuff but they coloured it yellow and smiled


----------



## Cowley (Dec 23, 2014)

Orang Utan said:


> Forgot the obligatory photo:
> View attachment 65290


 
Is the baby milk style bottle and mini bowl deliberate? You couldn't make it up.


----------



## Belushi (Dec 23, 2014)

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/quiz/2014/dec/23/hipster-quiz-great-british-bake-off


----------



## Maggot (Jan 10, 2015)

Spoof news site The Ulster Fry responded to this with an article about a new cafe opening in Belfast serving only crisp sandwiches. http://theulsterfry.com/business/crisp-sandwich-gets-new-lease-of-life-in-hip-belfast-eatery/

It proved such a popular idea that it has now become a real cafe: http://metro.co.uk/2015/01/10/simpl...crisp-sandwich-cafe-opens-in-belfast-5016877/

If I am ever in Belfast that I will definitely go there.


----------



## BoxRoom (Jan 12, 2015)

Bit more on the crisp sandwich place, I would definitely eat there if I could!

http://www.itv.com/news/2015-01-12/...-shop-sells-out-just-two-hours-after-opening/


----------



## tufty79 (Jan 12, 2015)

"All sandwiches come with soup (with Monster Munch croutons) and fries, and start at just £3.50." 
Not that bad a price either.


----------



## maomao (Jan 12, 2015)

That's a proper slap up meal for 3 and a half quid!


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 12, 2015)

maomao said:


> Brick Lane is not in Dalston.


editor could you change the title to reflect this pls


----------



## maomao (Jan 12, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> editor could you change the title to reflect this pls


He's probably too busy having a pint in the Prince Albert in Streatham to worry about the vagueries of East London geography.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 12, 2015)

maomao said:


> He's probably too busy having a pint in the Prince Albert in Streatham to worry about the vagueries of East London geography.


clapham surely


----------



## editor (Jan 12, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> editor could you change the title to reflect this pls


You've made me look at this fucking thread again. I couldn't give a fuck where the place is so long as it remains many, many miles from me.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 12, 2015)

editor said:


> You've made me look at this fucking thread again. I couldn't give a fuck where the place is so long as it remains many, many miles from me.


no problems changing it to brick lane then. or whitechapel.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 12, 2015)

BoxRoom said:


> Bit more on the crisp sandwich place, I would definitely eat there if I could!
> 
> http://www.itv.com/news/2015-01-12/...-shop-sells-out-just-two-hours-after-opening/



God damn, these people know what they are doing...



> To make the sandwiches, a precarious-looking pile of crisps is quickly compressed with a crunch by two weighty slabs of thickly-buttered white bread known as a Belfast bap, which is approaching burned and relatively tough on the top, but fluffy on the inside.



<drooooooooooooooooooooool>


----------



## maomao (Jan 12, 2015)

5t3IIa said:


> God damn, these people know what they are doing...
> 
> 
> 
> <drooooooooooooooooooooool>


The one in the picture also appears to have ham in it. This suggests the possibility of cheese and crisp sandwiches which are the best sandwiches in the world.


----------



## tufty79 (Jan 12, 2015)

maomao said:


> The one in the picture also appears to have ham in it. This suggests the possibility of cheese and crisp sandwiches which are the best sandwiches in the world.


Yep. Cheese and/or ham option.


This has made me change my online shopping order for tomorrow to make sure i have all the necessaries for crisp/cheese/ham sandwiches, dammit


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

Idaho said:


> Hipsters are going to be really cross when tattoos are no longer fashionable.


have you seen the hipster tatts where they try and make them look "authentic" by being all badly done, as if done on the most "keeping i real" equipment. themes such as tacky devils or hearts with arrows through. proper cringe. nothing is real anymore.


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

ShiftyBagLady said:


>



that
is
fucking
brilliant!!!!!!!


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

SarfLondoner said:


> Exactly, The owners do come across like a pair of pretentious tits but they have tapped into a bunch of gullible sheep who want to feel special and exclusive and are prepared to pay for it.


exactly, maybe they think they way we do but are just cashing in


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

these hipster neigbhbourhoods, attractive for about 20 minutes and then feel over priced, soulless.

i like my london communities to have a few things - practical, helpful, well run businesses that serve a mix of people. a few places to eat and drink, i.e. a few cafes, restaurants, a library, a leisure center, clean streets, safe for teenagers to walk about. that to me is a conducive to "community". how they can call these east end trendy areas "communities" i don't really get. i suppose they are but they have almost zero attraction for me now.


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

and pictures of serial killers on teh wall?  all them people dead, often tortured and terrified before hand. 

nice.


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

just out of interest, how much is a room to rent on or within spitting distance of brick lane these days?


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

Orang Utan said:


> Well they've done well from the publicity. A mate went past there this morning:
> View attachment 65015


they are all quiing for a bowel of fucking cereal?


----------



## Chilli.s (Jan 16, 2015)

I can't deny it has an element of humour though. However tasteless it may be to me.


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 16, 2015)

fucking hell i've got a bowel of serial give me your 3 quid


----------



## ddraig (Jan 16, 2015)

Serial bowel sounds yummy! 
Sure you don't want more for it?


----------



## stuff_it (May 28, 2015)

Own dating site now...

http://bristlr.com/


----------



## Orang Utan (May 28, 2015)

stuff_it said:


> Own dating site now...
> 
> http://bristlr.com/


That's a dating site for people with beards and their fans, not cereal eaters


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 28, 2015)

There is a hipster removal company though - I saw their van recently:
http://www.beardedbrosremovals.co.uk/


----------



## marty21 (May 28, 2015)

Fozzie Bear said:


> There is a hipster removal company though - I saw their van recently:
> http://www.beardedbrosremovals.co.uk/


 do they remove hipsters?

((((hipsters)))))


----------



## Fozzie Bear (May 28, 2015)

marty21 said:


> do they remove hipsters?
> 
> ((((hipsters)))))



To be honest they seemed to be moving some hipsters IN, to a large house on Manor Road in Stoke Newington.


----------



## tommers (May 29, 2015)

Fozzie Bear said:


> There is a hipster removal company though - I saw their van recently:
> http://www.beardedbrosremovals.co.uk/



They look alright.  I'd use them.


----------



## stuff_it (May 30, 2015)

TBH every time I see a beardy hipster now I imagine their beard dancing off like Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo in South Park...


----------



## Orang Utan (May 30, 2015)

stuff_it said:


> TBH every time I see a beardy hipster now I imagine their beard dancing off like Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo in South Park...


Having a beard does not make one a hipster. And this thread is about cereal anyway.


----------



## kabbes (May 30, 2015)

Orang Utan said:


> Having a beard does not make one a hipster. And this thread is about cereal anyway.


Being incredibly pleased and even defined by your beard might indicate that you are a hipster though.

Bearded Bros Removals certainly sounds like it fits into that category.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 30, 2015)

Orang Utan said:


> Having a beard does not make one a hipster. And this thread is about cereal anyway.


yeh. but having a beard is certainly suggestive of hipsterism.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 30, 2015)

Fozzie Bear said:


> There is a hipster removal company though - I saw their van recently:
> http://www.beardedbrosremovals.co.uk/


it is a start.


----------



## stethoscope (Sep 26, 2015)

Cereal Killer targeted tonight by the Fuck Parade apparently


----------



## IC3D (Sep 26, 2015)

Own up


----------



## Dr. Furface (Sep 26, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> yeh. but having a beard is certainly suggestive of hipsterism.


Or laziness


----------



## Gromit (Sep 26, 2015)

stethoscope said:


> Cereal Killer targeted tonight by the Fuck Parade apparently



Surely that would have been:

Reclaim the Shredded Wheats


Fuck it i think its time i opened my hipster Beans on Toast restaurant:
Choose your beans: £4
Choose your toast: Free
Choose to have grated cheese on top (additional £1) or not (additional £1.50)

Only my beard ain't hipster enough so I'll need a falsie.


----------



## Athos (Sep 26, 2015)

Gromit said:


> Surely that would have been:
> 
> Reclaim the Shredded Wheats
> 
> ...



Surely you choose your cheese before the beans?


----------



## Bakunin (Sep 26, 2015)

marty21 said:


> do they remove hipsters?
> 
> ((((hipsters)))))


----------



## Fozzie Bear (Sep 27, 2015)

The Shoreditch Cereal Café Was Attacked By Anti-Gentrification Protesters

Buzzfeed story


----------



## Gromit (Sep 27, 2015)

The phrase 'Let them eat cake' was in fact 'Let them eat brioche' and has been mistranslated to english speakers. Back in the day brioche was cheaper than bread.
How ironic that the protestors have taken a reverse snobbery stance on Brioche now.

By not having a completely peaceful protest, intimidating the staff and customers (including children) and damaging property they have lost the moral high ground and any sympathy they might have won.

They are trying to drive us out!
If that the way you act is it any wonder, some will now think.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 27, 2015)

Gromit said:


> The phrase 'Let them eat cake' was in fact 'Let them eat brioche' and has been mistranslated to english speakers. Back in the day brioche was cheaper than bread.
> How ironic that the protestors have taken a reverse snobbery stance on Brioche now.
> 
> By not having a completely peaceful protest, intimidating the staff and customers (including children) and damaging property they have lost the moral high ground and any sympathy they might have won.
> ...


that's bollocks which inter alia is not internally consistent


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 27, 2015)

there were no children there. Total fabrication.


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 27, 2015)

Gromit said:


> The phrase 'Let them eat cake' was in fact 'Let them eat brioche' and has been mistranslated to english speakers. Back in the day brioche was cheaper than bread.
> How ironic that the protestors have taken a reverse snobbery stance on Brioche now.
> 
> *By not having a completely peaceful protest, *intimidating the staff and customers (including children) and damaging property they have lost the moral high ground and any sympathy they might have won.
> ...



Given peaceful protests achieve fuck all, what would you suggest?


----------



## Fingers (Sep 27, 2015)

I was talking to my mate last night about his recent trip to San Francisco.  He nearly starved due to the fact that he could not buy anything without the fucking word artisan in front of it. Artisan water for $7 a bottle ffs.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 27, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Given peaceful protests achieve fuck all, what would you suggest?



Tell that to Gandhi.


----------



## Santino (Sep 27, 2015)

Gromit said:


> Tell that to Gandhi.


Can't, someone shot him.


----------



## 8den (Sep 27, 2015)




----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 27, 2015)

Gromit said:


> Tell that to Gandhi.



Procure me a ouija board and I will.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 27, 2015)

Gromit said:


> Tell that to Gandhi.


this wouls be the gandhi who energetically recruited for the british army i suppose


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 27, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Procure me a ouija board and I will.


change your tagline to 'necromancer'


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 27, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> change your tagline to 'necromancer'



Now that you can't bump old threads anymore.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 27, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Now that you can't bump old threads anymore.


you wouldn't let it lie


----------



## Gromit (Sep 27, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Procure me a ouija board and I will.



Tell it to Gene Sharp then.


----------



## tim (Sep 27, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Given peaceful protests achieve fuck all, what would you suggest?



Go for Starbucks first, presumably the beardies at least pay their taxes.


----------



## joustmaster (Sep 27, 2015)

How much should a bowl of cereal cost in a cafe?


----------



## Gromit (Sep 27, 2015)

joustmaster said:


> How much should a bowl of cereal cost in a cafe?



After staff wages, exorbitant London rents and business rates, Utilities, set up costs including furnishings, wastage from so many varieties (120) being held in stock (including expensive specialist imports), advertising and marketing...

Probably exactly what they are charging.

How much should a frothy coffee cost? Or a pizza? If you really want to talk overpriced.


----------



## hipipol (Sep 27, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> there were no children there. Total fabrication.


I beg to differ
A short stroll thru Shoreditch , glancing at the stuff on offer in their rather daft and expensive shops reveals that they are pretty much ALL children in their heads....


----------



## joustmaster (Sep 27, 2015)

Gromit said:


> After staff wages, exorbitant London rents and business rates, Utilities, set up costs including furnishings, wastage from so many varieties (120) being held in stock (including expensive specialist imports), advertising and marketing...
> 
> Probably exactly what they are charging.
> 
> How much should a frothy coffee cost? Or a pizza? If you really want to talk overpriced.


Can you buy cereal at your standard greasy spoon? I've never thought to look


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 27, 2015)

tim said:


> Go for Starbucks first, presumably the beardies at least pay their taxes.



Starbucks are so 2001.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 27, 2015)

Biggest con is a cup of tea anywhere that charges more than a quid for it. It can be up to three quid.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 27, 2015)

joustmaster said:


> Can you buy cereal at your standard greasy spoon? I've never thought to look



In some you can. It would probably cost you about a quid less as they won't have to worry about wastage the same and will be offsetting the costs against the larger footfall of people ordering full breakies.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 27, 2015)

cantsin said:


> "this isnt one of the poorest areas is it ? "
> 
> excruciating....thought it was vaguely fun/funny before, now actively looking fwd to their inevitable demise
> 
> 'Stop this interview' - cereal café dodges poverty question



Has that interviewer gone to other businesses and asked them what they think about the fact poor people can't afford their products say like the local Volkswagen dealership?


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 27, 2015)

Gromit said:


> By not having a completely peaceful protest, intimidating the staff and customers (including children) and damaging property they have lost the moral high ground and any sympathy they might have won.
> 
> They are trying to drive us out!
> If that the way you act is it any wonder, some will now think.


----------



## Azrael (Sep 27, 2015)

If less-than-peaceful protest is OK, do its defenders at least have grounds to justify it? (Beyond the hipness of face fuzz, if possible.)


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

I've just had a look at their website and was shocked to see they don't sell my favourite cereal - Grape Nuts. 

Nor do they list single cream as an option which imo is an essential addition to any bowl of cereal. And if they don't have caster sugar then it's a full house of fail. 

Sod the politics, they deserve having their windows broken for this alone. Fuck them and the ironic bicycles they rode in on


----------



## blossie33 (Sep 28, 2015)

6 Things Worth Protesting At More Than The Cereal Killer Cafe

Article today from the Londonist which is pretty much my opinion.


----------



## Cowley (Sep 28, 2015)

This place is still open?!!! The novalty hasn't worn off yet?  I am shocked that this place is still operating TBH...


----------



## Johnny Doe (Sep 28, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> I've just had a look at their website and was shocked to see they don't sell my favourite cereal - Grape Nuts.


Dangle-berries for breakfast?


----------



## Belushi (Sep 28, 2015)

Cowley said:


> This place is still open?!!! The novalty hasn't worn off yet?  I am shocked that this place is still operating TBH...



Not only that, they've opened a second shop


----------



## Cowley (Sep 28, 2015)

Belushi said:


> Not only that, they've opened a second shop



 Seriously? 

Edited to add: Just seen an article saying they are opening the second one in the Stables Market, Camden. Jesus!


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 28, 2015)

grape nuts sounds like a euphamism for piles


----------



## Belushi (Sep 28, 2015)

Cowley said:


> Seriously?



Yes


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 28, 2015)

I also can't believe the novelty hasn't worn off and people are still going there for overpriced import cereal. 

Did anyone hear the beef between one of the owners and a Class War member on LBC this morning? It wasn't the showdown I might have hoped for but there's a short clip in the link below.

Cereal Café Owner Goes Head To Head With Protester


----------



## Johnny Doe (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> grape nuts sounds like a euphamism for piles


Post 377 Dotty. Great minds.


----------



## sim667 (Sep 28, 2015)

Gromit said:


> Has that interviewer gone to other businesses and asked them what they think about the fact poor people can't afford their products say like the local Volkswagen dealership?



I don't think there is a VW dealer in shoreditch?

And lets be honest, no self respecting hipster would drive a VW. They'd want a 1970 morris minor traveller, with the brakes and lights removed, and the gearbox changed to single speed.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 28, 2015)

Harry Smiles said:


> Post 377 Dotty. Great minds.


when my bredrin got them he refered to them as 'the grapes of wrath'


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

skyscraper101 said:


> I also can't believe the novelty hasn't worn off and people are still going there for overpriced import cereal.
> 
> Did anyone hear the beef between one of the owners and a Class War member on LBC this morning? It wasn't the showdown I might have hoped for but there's a short clip in the link below.
> 
> Cereal Café Owner Goes Head To Head With Protester


Nick Ferrari's a tosser, who knew 

That cafe owner's pretty pathetic, and more or less whinged away any feelings of sympathy I had for them.


----------



## Johnny Doe (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> when my bredrin got them he refered to them as 'the grapes of wrath'



Comparing wageslips on payday, a colleague used to always say he had 'piles on his arse but nothing in the bank'


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

Harry Smiles said:


> Dangle-berries for breakfast?


They would probably source them for you if you asked if you asked nicely tbh

Artisan tag-nuts


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> They would probably source them for you if you asked if you asked nicely tbh


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 28, 2015)

cesare said:


> Nick Ferrari's a tosser, who knew
> 
> That cafe owner's pretty pathetic, and more or less whinged away any feelings of sympathy I had for them.


questioning intonation=posh belfast accent


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> questioning intonation=posh belfast accent


Must have led a pretty sheltered life in Belfast too.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> questioning intonation=posh belfast accent


The bbc etc should do that 'actor's voice' thing they used to do for Gerry Adams, if they're interviewing the immigrant terrorist hipster cereal pushers


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 28, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> The bbc etc should do that 'actor's voice' thing they used to do for Gerry Adams, if they're interviewing the immigrant terrorist hipster cereal pushers


I often wonder what that bloke did after the Good Friday Agreement and now its ok cos gerry adams trampolines naked with his dog (not making that up)

what a p45 to get eh


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

but also  ((((the voice of Gerry Adams))))


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 28, 2015)

joustmaster said:


> How much should a bowl of cereal cost in a cafe?


nothing, you should be slapped for asking for one.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> nothing, you should be slapped for asking for one.


wrong answer: it should cost of course an arm and a leg.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> I often wonder what that bloke did after the Good Friday Agreement and now its ok cos gerry adams trampolines naked with his dog (not making that up)
> 
> what a p45 to get eh


It was Stephen Rea, wasn't it?


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 28, 2015)

Class War still the undisputed champions of publicity.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Sep 28, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> I've just had a look at their website and was shocked to see they don't sell my favourite cereal - Grape Nuts.
> 
> Nor do they list single cream as an option which imo is an essential addition to any bowl of cereal. And if they don't have caster sugar then it's a full house of fail.
> 
> Sod the politics, they deserve having their windows broken for this alone. Fuck them and the ironic bicycles they rode in on



TBF though, your favourite cereal sounds like a euphemism for haemorrhoids.


----------



## sim667 (Sep 28, 2015)

joustmaster said:


> How much should a bowl of cereal cost in a cafe?



Depends if its a rare import with artisan milk.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> grape nuts sounds like a euphamism for piles



Damn you and your having responded an hour before me,you very devil!


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 28, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Class War still the undisputed champions of publicity.


The undisputed champions of cuntishness more like. What a bunch of fucking tossers. I hope the police do you.

You've got to be short of a few screws to sign up to something calling itself "class war" anyway.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Sep 28, 2015)

sim667 said:


> Depends if its a rare import with artisan milk.



Bat milk.
Organic bat milk.


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The undisputed champions of cuntishness more like. What a bunch of fucking tossers. I hope the police do you.
> 
> You've got to be short of a few screws to sign up to something calling itself "class war" anyway.



I imagine you've been short of screws your entire life.


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

sim667 said:


> Depends if its a rare import with artisan milk.


It's not my favourite cafe if it's not yak milk served in a terrarium etc


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The undisputed champions of cuntishness more like. What a bunch of fucking tossers. I hope the police do you.
> 
> You've got to be short of a few screws to sign up to something calling itself "class war" anyway.


They're going to Sittingbourne next


----------



## sim667 (Sep 28, 2015)

skyscraper101 said:


> I also can't believe the novelty hasn't worn off and people are still going there for overpriced import cereal.
> 
> Did anyone hear the beef between one of the owners and a Class War member on LBC this morning? It wasn't the showdown I might have hoped for but there's a short clip in the link below.
> 
> Cereal Café Owner Goes Head To Head With Protester



To be fair the caller on that came over as a bit of an idiot.


----------



## belboid (Sep 28, 2015)

littlebabyjesus said:


> It was Stephen Rea, wasn't it?


urban myth, i think.  Butch Dingle did do it for a while tho


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

ViolentPanda said:


> TBF though, your favourite cereal sounds like a euphemism for haemorrhoids.


They taste yummy


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

I seem to remember that BITD the packaging of Grape Nuts recounted a tale of how they were originally created by soldiers at (this is solely a recollection from my childhood memories) Battle Creek, Michigan (iirc?) or some such. So probably a tool of oppression developed by the Yankee imperialist oppressors 

Fuck knows. I love them 

ETA: invented in 1897 by CW Post apparently (Google him )


----------



## Chilli.s (Sep 28, 2015)

Terrible craving for a bowl of Grape Nuts now, with full cream gold top and demerara sugar.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

Chilli.s said:


> Terrible craving for a bowl of Grape Nuts now, with full cream gold top and demerara sugar.


OMG yes *drools*


----------



## 8den (Sep 28, 2015)

If the symbol of everything wrong in Britain is two bearded twats selling over priced cereal to hipster cunts the works would be doing ace. There's about four hundred thousand more worthy targets. Class war come off like a complete bunch of cunts


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 28, 2015)

8den said:


> If the symbol of everything wrong in Britain is two bearded twats selling over priced cereal to hipster cunts the works would be doing ace. *There's about four hundred thousand more worthy targets*. Class war come off like a complete bunch of cunts


get on it then, you identify them and hit them.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The undisputed champions of cuntishness more like. What a bunch of fucking tossers. I hope the police do you.
> 
> You've got to be short of a few screws to sign up to something calling itself "class war" anyway.


its worse when you are so inurred to a psuedo normalcy that you cannot recognize your own unasked and unpaid role in maintaining an orthodoxy at all costs in the face of a changing reality. The sort of knicker sniffing dudley do-right who cloaks his own prejudices and blowharderry in the language of the ruling top down consensus reality constructed to keep the rich rich while you lick the sweat from their balls. Know anyone who fits that description bungle?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

8den said:


> If the symbol of everything wrong in Britain is two bearded twats selling over priced cereal to hipster cunts the works would be doing ace. There's about four hundred thousand more worthy targets. Class war come off like a complete bunch of cunts


yeh yeh heard it all before, you don't even have the gumption to manufacture your own opinion preferring to get yours off the shelf.


----------



## 8den (Sep 28, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> get on it then, you identify them and hit them.



Jobseeker centres, ATOS, corporate chains avoiding tax, anyone "employing" work fair scheme members. 

That's a start.


----------



## wtfftw (Sep 28, 2015)

Um


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

Ignore The Fucking Hipsters Crying Into Their Cornflakes, Long Live The Fucking #FuckParade


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

8den said:


> Jobseeker centres, ATOS, corporate chains avoiding tax, anyone "employing" work fair scheme members.
> 
> That's a start.


will you be coming out on the weekend to one of these better targets?


----------



## 8den (Sep 28, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> will you be coming out on the weekend to one of these better targets?



It'd be a commute from ireland


----------



## hipipol (Sep 28, 2015)

That Kellog bastard has loads to say sorry for, eh????


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 28, 2015)

Those Variety packs are a complete rip off as well.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

The39thStep said:


> Those Variety packs are a complete rip off as well.


Yeah they are a fucking rip off  I buy them for on my boat cos the individual packaging keeps it dry. Bastards, fuck them. Is there a Lidl version?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

8den said:


> It'd be a commute from ireland


i'm only asking about this weekend, not every weekend.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 28, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Yeah they are a fucking rip off  I buy them for on my boat cos the individual packaging keeps it dry. Bastards, fuck them. Is there a Lidl version?


Never thought of using tupperware boxes?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Never thought of using tupperware boxes?


i will treasure this moment as the time you gave some good advice.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 28, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> never thought of keeping your trap shut?


The world would be so much better off if you were to be run over by bus tomorrow.


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The world would be so much better off if you were to be run over by bus tomorrow.


This sort of post shows why your neighbourhood watch type commentary is so fucking hypocritical. Crying over the cornflakes but wishing death on someone. You make me sick.


----------



## passenger (Sep 28, 2015)

im going down there tonight and throw egg`s and bacon at the window 
and spray brown sauce through the letter box


----------



## youngian (Sep 28, 2015)

What sort of impression do these kind of rowdy demonstrations give of London to potential overseas investors? 

Keep up the good work


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 28, 2015)

cesare said:


> This sort of post shows why your neighbourhood watch type commentary is so fucking hypocritical. Crying over the cornflakes but wishing death on someone. You make me sick.


Oh.  So it's perfectly ok for some cretin to tell me to keep my "trap" shut (for no particular reason), but how dare I respond in kind. They hypocrisy shown in this forum is unbelievable.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The world would be so much better off if you were to be run over by bus tomorrow.


you don't like bus drivers, do you.

the world would be a much better place if you got a shag now and again. but that's not going to happen, is it.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh.  So it's perfectly ok for some cretin to tell me to keep my "trap" shut (for no particular reason), but how dare I respond in kind. They hypocrisy shown in this forum is unbelievable.


yes, it is perfectly ok for me to tell you to shut your trap. but it's a bit of a leap from that to 'i hope you get run over and the bus driver gets traumatised and a load of people are late for work'. tell you what, you don't wish a violent death on anyone for a day or two so i don't have to point out the utter fuckwittery of your posts for a little bit.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 28, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> yes, it is perfectly ok for me to tell you to shut your trap. but it's a bit of a leap from that to 'i hope you get run over and the bus driver gets traumatised and a load of people are late for work'.


You always go out of your way to be a total cunt to me. I have nothing but contempt for you.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Never thought of using tupperware boxes?


Thank you for your contribution


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 28, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Yeah they are a fucking rip off  I buy them for on my boat cos the individual packaging keeps it dry. Bastards, fuck them. Is there a Lidl version?


Dunno but I will be  contacting the campaign secretary of my nearest Class War scene to ask what they are doing about . It's a national issue.


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> You always go out of your way to be a total cunt to me. I have nothing but contempt for you.


Are you perfectly sure Pickman is going out of his way ?


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh.  So it's perfectly ok for some cretin to tell me to keep my "trap" shut (for no particular reason), but how dare I respond in kind. They hypocrisy shown in this forum is unbelievable.


Suggesting you shut up is by no means comparable to wishing someone was run over by a bus. It's not responding in kind, you fool.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 28, 2015)

cesare said:


> Suggesting you shut up is by no means comparable to wishing someone was run over by a bus. It's not responding in kind, you fool.


Suggesting that I shut up for merely giving the suggestion...and it was a very good suggestion....that I did above.  The guy is a total cock. People like that don't deserve any civility.


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Suggesting that I shut up for merely giving the suggestion...and it was a very good suggestion....that I did above.  The guy is a total cock. People like that don't deserve any civility.


Civility is, for example, not swearing at someone. It's not the absence of a death wish.


----------



## Nanker Phelge (Sep 28, 2015)

bowl of cunt


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 28, 2015)

cesare said:


> Civility is, for example, not swearing at someone. It's not the absence of a death wish.


Considering what I've been subjected to on this forum, by him and his ilk, I feel entitled to say what ever I want about them. They deserve it.


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The world would be so much better off if you were to be run over by bus tomorrow.



I thought trains were your preferred fetish?


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Considering what I've been subjected to on this forum, by him and his ilk, I feel entitled to say what ever I want about them. They deserve it.


Rubbish. You have no sense of proportionality.


----------



## Poot (Sep 28, 2015)

I would never condone violence against anyone but I am delighted to see that there is now a space for my new venture, World of Crisps.


----------



## cesare (Sep 28, 2015)

Poot said:


> I would never condone violence against anyone but I am delighted to see that there is now a space for my new venture, World of Crisps.


I wonder if crisps have a similar shelf life to cereal. I bet those imported cereals are way out of code.


----------



## Poot (Sep 28, 2015)

cesare said:


> I wonder if crisps have a similar shelf life to cereal. I bet those imported cereals are way out of code.


Yeah, cereal's really 2014. Oh, yes, I see what you mean.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Considering what I've been subjected to on this forum, by him and his ilk, I feel entitled to say what ever I want about them. They deserve it.


yes. we deserve you making a twat of yourself more effectively than we ever could without your assistance.


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 28, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Considering what I've been subjected to on this forum, *by him and his ilk,* I feel entitled to say what ever I want about them. They deserve it.



Given one minute PM is Eton educated and the next he's a Crowley/Devil worshipper, it seems somewhat inconsistent to suggest he has an 'ilk' of similarly unlikely characters spread throughout the boards.


----------



## ffsear (Sep 28, 2015)

Poot said:


> I would never condone violence against anyone but I am delighted to see that there is now a space for my new venture, World of Crisps.




You're too late !

Taste of success: World's first crisp sandwich café to stay open


----------



## Dowie (Sep 28, 2015)

blossie33 said:


> 6 Things Worth Protesting At More Than The Cereal Killer Cafe
> 
> Article today from the Londonist which is pretty much my opinion.



yup, seems to sum it up this farce pretty well:



> Getting pissed off by the Cereal Killer Cafe — or any of the shops around Brick Lane — is getting pissed off about a symptom of gentrification/social cleansing, not the cause. And, frankly, it's even getting pissed off about the wrong symptom. These are just some dudes who set up a business in a part of London that got colonised by hipsters over a decade ago. It's like getting annoyed by Nathan Barley. Go protest at Sweets Way, or Earls Court, or anywhere that real people are in danger of being swept out of_right now_. And if it's just hipsters that get your goat, try not to take along sound systems and "cheeky banner drops" or other accoutrements of middle class warehouse parties that make you look not that far away from the cereal topping sellers you're bitching about.


 (and funding on indigogo too...  )


----------



## Chilli.s (Sep 29, 2015)

blossie33 said:


> 6 Things Worth Protesting At More Than The Cereal Killer Cafe
> 
> Article today from the Londonist which is pretty much my opinion.



Yeah, attacking a cafe is so missing the target as to be laughable. Still, any protest is better than none at all.


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 29, 2015)

Dowie said:


> (and funding on indigogo too...  )



People chipping in money to buy something. How terribly bourgeois!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

fwiw i don't think it's right to say brick lane colonised by hipsters a decadr ago - brick lane in 2005 (& indeed 2010) a very different place from today.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 29, 2015)

The39thStep said:


> Those Variety packs are a complete rip off as well.


not even a portion. I like to mix the ricicles up with the coco pops to get true variety and a reasonable bowful rather than the childs serving of a single box


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The world would be so much better off if you were to be run over by bus tomorrow.


i have got to work unscathed, i am sure you're pleased to hear. i will be less attentive when out getting my dinner to give your wish its best chance.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 29, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The world would be so much better off if you were to be run over by bus tomorrow.


You're a nasty wanker.

Worse things are said to people on here than that but you just come across as a repugnant old cunt with a stained vest, who kicks dogs and sticks knives in kid's footballs.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Spymaster said:


> You're a nasty wanker.
> 
> Worse things are said to people on here than that but you just come across as a repugnant old cunt with a stained vest, who kicks dogs and sticks knives in kid's footballs.


you hold him in higher esteem than i.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 29, 2015)

Spymaster said:


> You're a nasty wanker.
> 
> Worse things are said to people on here than that but you just come across as a repugnant old cunt with a stained vest, who kicks dogs and sticks knives in kid's footballs.


Oh really? Please enlighten us all as to who else here faces a constant barge attacks and abuse when ever they post? The answer is no one. But why would I expect any sympathy from you when you're one of the perpetrators.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 29, 2015)

diamond gets rougher than you and whines less


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh really? Please enlighten us all as to who else here faces a constant barge attacks and abuse when ever they post? The answer is no one. But why would I expect any sympathy from you when you're one of the perpetrators.


there have been no barge attacks here and i would thank you not to perpetuate that canard.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 29, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh really? Please enlighten us all as to who else here faces a constant barge attacks and abuse when ever they post? The answer is no one. But why would I expect any sympathy from you when you're one of the perpetrators.


What is it that people hate you so much, do you think?  Is it all other people's problems?  None of it your fault, maybe?


----------



## Belushi (Sep 29, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> diamond gets rougher than you and whines less



At least Diamond is unwittingly funny at times


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 29, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> But why would I expect any sympathy from you when you're one of the perpetrators.


See, it's this kind of shit that sets people against you. I've had just ONE bust-up with you. Prior to that I used to think you got given a bit of a hard time and sometimes waded-in on your side, but I gave up doing that when I realised that you _actually are_ a complete tosser.

You're a contrarian poster, which is fine. But if you're going to post the way you do, you need either the wit to fight the inevitable battles or the chin to take the knocks. You have neither.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

I'm sure lots of people have pointed this out already but Cereal Killer is a couple of miles or so from Dalston, instead being located in Spitalfields/Shoreditch on the edge of the City.

And I'm sure people have also pointed this out as well but why on earth would you try and trash Cereal Killer rather than Foxtons Shoreditch?

But finally, the wider point is why do "hipsters" who eat cereal at a cafe dedicated to serving cereal deserve such widespread opprobrium?

On the same road there are two famous beigel bakeries who do a roaring hipster trade all night long and they are apparently kosher (pun intended)?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> I'm sure lots of people have pointed this out already but Cereal Killer is a couple of miles or so from Dalston, instead being located in Spitalfields/Shoreditch on the edge of the City.
> 
> And I'm sure people have also pointed this out as well but why on earth would you try and trash Cereal Killer rather than Foxtons Shoreditch?
> 
> ...


i don't see it as EITHER foxtons OR shitty cereal cafe BUT both. as for the bagel shops, they've been there since the time of the flood and aren't yuppie/hipster/gentrifier businesses.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 29, 2015)

hmm attacking a bagel place wearing a pigs mask? steady on


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

To drive the point home - cereal cafes are apparently fey and wrong, whereas cat cafes are OK?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> To drive the point home - cereal cafes are apparently fey and wrong, whereas cat cafes are OK?


cat cafes?


----------



## belboid (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> To drive the point home - cereal cafes are apparently fey and wrong, whereas cat cafes are OK?


cats scratch more than cereal


----------



## belboid (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> cat cafes?


What to Expect from your Visit - Lady Dinah's Cat Emporium


----------



## Belushi (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> On the same road there are two famous beigel bakeries who do a roaring hipster trade all night long and they are apparently kosher (pun intended)?



The beigel bakeries have been there decades and have been serving the local community long before the first hipster set foot in the east end.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 29, 2015)

hang on, what? how do they get the cats to stay in the cafe?


----------



## bimble (Sep 29, 2015)

Here's some real gentrified bastards, sipping tea where we now have wahaca.


----------



## Belushi (Sep 29, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> hang on, what? how do they get the cats to stay in the cafe?



They drug them.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

belboid said:


> What to Expect from your Visit - Lady Dinah's Cat Emporium


never noticed it. will have to take the cat there to see what it's like. however, bethnal green road is not and never has been in shoreditch.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> i don't see it as EITHER foxtons OR shitty cereal cafe BUT both. as for the bagel shops, they've been there since the time of the flood and aren't yuppie/hipster/gentrifier businesses.



You think that the demographic that the beigel shops serve is materially different to the demographic that Cereal Killer serves a few doors down?


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> never noticed it. will have to take the cat there to see what it's like. however, bethnal green road is not and never has been in shoreditch.



It is, however, literally just around the corner from Cereal Killer.  Perhaps a two minute walk tops...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> You think that the demographic that the beigel shops serve is materially different to the demographic that Cereal Killer serves a few doors down?


yes. it is much broader: not only because bagels are nicer than cereal. the bagels are cheap - something like £1.20 for chopped herring, for example. all sorts of people buy bagels. the cereal cafe's clientele is - almost without exception - hipsters and other gentrifiers.


----------



## belboid (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> You think that the demographic that the beigel shops serve is materially different to the demographic that Cereal Killer serves a few doors down?


god yes.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> It is, however, literally just around the corner from Cereal Killer.  Perhaps a two minute walk tops...


i thank you for the tip.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

If the aim was to trash "hipster" businesses they really should have gone for something like Boxpark or Shoreditch House or Brewdog or the Ace Hotel - plenty of other options that are genuinely full of pretentious twats...


----------



## Belushi (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> If the aim was to trash "hipster" businesses they really should have gone for something like Boxpark or Shoreditch House or Brewdog or the Ace Hotel - plenty of other options that are genuinely full of pretentious twats...



Nothing's stopping you going and trashing them, the more the merrier


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> If the aim was to trash "hipster" businesses they really should have gone for something like Boxpark or Shoreditch House or Brewdog or the Ace Hotel - plenty of other options that are genuinely full of pretentious twats...


this is obviously where the fuck parade people were going wrong, by not getting you involved at the earliest opportunity


----------



## fishfinger (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> yes. it is much broader: not only because bagels are nicer than cereal. the bagels are cheap - something like £1.20 for chopped herring, for example. all sorts of people buy bagels. the cereal cafe's clientele is - almost without exception - hipsters and other gentrifiers.


Quite.

I've been a customer of the Beigel Bake for over 35 years. Excellent beigels and very generously filled salt beef sandwiches. Whereas, I'd never want to go to the Cereal Killer Cafe.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

Belushi said:


> Nothing's stopping you going and trashing them, the more the merrier



But I spend most of my spare time in those wonderful hostelries Belushi - why would I go and do that?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> But I spend most of my spare time in those wonderful hostelries Belushi - why would I go and do that?


your inside knowledge could be vital to a successful trashing


----------



## Belushi (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> But I spend most of my spare time in those wonderful hostelries Belushi - why would I go and do that?



_Dear Mayfair

I always thought your stories were made up, but imagine my surprise as I sat in my imaginary chair at Shoreditch House.._


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> But I spend most of my spare time in those wonderful hostelries Belushi - why would I go and do that?


those hostelries are the equivalent of the auld european club, to which the sahibs would go so they wouldn't have to socialise with the natives.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> It is, however, literally just around the corner from Cereal Killer.  Perhaps a two minute walk tops...


ah. i thought it was a cafe for cats, i didn't realise at first it was a cafe with cats. i won't be visiting.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

Article in the Guardian on Brick Lane's current state of play...

What do Brick Lane business owners think of the anti-gentrification protests?


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 29, 2015)

lol at a quaker called pope


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

And, just for clarity, Cereal Killer is as close to Dalston as it is to London Bridge or Bank or Mile End or Clerkenwell or Wapping or (I could go on - it's nowhere near Dalston...)


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> Article in the Guardian on Brick Lane's current state of play...
> 
> What do Brick Lane business owners think of the anti-gentrification protests?


as i have said above, brick lane is not and never has been in shoreditch: contrary to what the guardian says.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> And, just for clarity, Cereal Killer is as close to Dalston as it is to London Bridge or Bank or Mile End or Clerkenwell or Wapping or (I could go on - it's nowhere near Dalston...)


yes. we went through this at the start of the thread: as you'd know if you read it.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> as i have said above, brick lane is not and never has been in shoreditch: contrary to what the guardian says.



Cereal Killer is barely more than a 100m from Shoreditch High St Overground station!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

maomao said:


> Brick Lane is not in Dalston.


Diamond: post #13


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> Diamond: post #13



OK - fair enough.

I just thought that there might be an attempt to stir up some special prejudice because Dalston is "hipster" (i.e. categorically bad) rather than Shoreditch/Brick Lane (i.e. more nuanced)...

That's how I read it anyway.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> Cereal Killer is barely more than a 100m from Shoreditch High St Overground station!


yes. but shoreditch was until 1965 a metropolitan borough adjacent to the mb of bethnal green. brick lane is in the former mb bethnal green, the current lb tower hamlets, while the whole of shoreditch is in lb hackney.


----------



## cesare (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> i thank you for the tip.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

cesare said:


>


yeh but i thought this was a cafe for cats, and thought might treat my cat to a nice day out. only to find it's a cafe for humans which provides cats, not the right sort of thing at all.


----------



## cesare (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> yeh but i thought this was a cafe for cats, and thought might treat my cat to a nice day out. only to find it's a cafe for humans which provides cats, not the right sort of thing at all.


What made me laugh was the suggestion that diamond had provided a suitable alternative target.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

cesare said:


> What made me laugh was the suggestion that diamond had provided a suitable alternative target.


that cafe's got feline shields tho.


----------



## cesare (Sep 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> that cafe's got feline shields tho.


They'd probably join in with the fracas (a few well delivered swipes to their pathetic objectifying keepers) then wander back as if nothing had happened the following day.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

cesare said:


> They'd probably join in with the fracas (a few well delivered swipes to their pathetic objectifying keepers) then wander back as if nothing had happened the following day.


----------



## Dowie (Sep 29, 2015)

Diamond said:


> You think that the demographic that the beigel shops serve is materially different to the demographic that Cereal Killer serves a few doors down?



apparently some people do

fact is the whole street caters to people living outside the community, hipsters have been there for over a decade... it isn't like vibe bar, 93ft east, big chill bar etc.. have only just opened up, they've been there for years - seemingly a bunch of bars and bagel shops catering to hipsters and curry houses the other end of the street catering to bankers etc.. aren't as much of an issue as a small (and slightly odd) cafe that didn't replace any residents but took up its place in a former video store. Fact is that cafe isn't displacing anyone and isn't necessarily going to encourage people to move to the area, its had national press attention and its customers are likely coming from various areas of London just to try it. The only justification seems to be that it isn't serving the locals - most businesses there probably sever mostly outsiders too and the cafe likely does serve local students, young people etc..just as the bagel shops probably serve a few locals during the day but get the most business when there is a big queue of hipsters in there late in the evening... and of course the owners of the cafe fit the 'hipster' demographic - they look like the people we hate etc...

If anyone is attracting more hipsters to the area it is the nightlife around there that causes students, media types etc.. to want to live nearby to where they go drinking.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 29, 2015)

Dowie said:


> apparently some people do
> 
> fact is the whole street caters to people living outside the community, hipsters have been there for over a decade... it isn't like vibe bar, 93ft east, big chill bar etc.. have only just opened up, they've been there for years - seemingly a bunch of bars and bagel shops catering to hipsters and curry houses the other end of the street catering to bankers etc.. aren't as much of an issue as a small (and slightly odd) cafe that didn't replace any residents but took up its place in a former video store. Fact is that cafe isn't displacing anyone and isn't necessarily going to encourage people to move to the area, its had national press attention and its customers are likely coming from various areas of London just to try it. The only justification seems to be that it isn't serving the locals - most businesses there probably sever mostly outsiders too and the cafe likely does serve local students, young people etc..just as the bagel shops probably serve a few locals during the day but get the most business when there is a big queue of hipsters in there late in the evening... and of course the owners of the cafe fit the 'hipster' demographic - they look like the people we hate etc...
> 
> If anyone is attracting more hipsters to the area it is the nightlife around there that causes students, media types etc.. to want to live nearby to where they go drinking.



Exactly.

This is not Dalston (not that there is an intrinsic problem with Dalston or "hipsters" anyway).

This is Brick Lane - virtually the City and a tourist destination and I think the curry house point is a good one too.


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 29, 2015)

A cereal cafe! It's the epitome of shit.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> The world would be so much better off if you were to be run over by bus tomorrow.


i navigated central london's busy streets successfully at dinnertime, narrowly avoiding another pedestrian. no sign of a bus running me down yet. i will let you know later if i have to post from a&e.


----------



## Manter (Sep 29, 2015)

Belushi said:


> At least Diamond is unwittingly funny at times


He has shown evidence of a different, caring side too


----------



## krtek a houby (Sep 29, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> A cereal cafe! It's the epitome of shit.



It's a bit naff but so what? It's quirky, at the very least...


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 29, 2015)

They've never had so much publicity! Outraged liberals can give practical support by popping in and spending a fiver on three weetabix with jelly tots topping.


----------



## cesare (Sep 29, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> They've never had so much publicity! Outraged liberals can give practical support by popping in and spending a fiver on three weetabix with jelly tots topping.


Even better publicity for CW  Never seen so many spluttering tuts and seethings


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2015)

jelly & ice cream when the cereal bar closes.


----------



## cesare (Sep 29, 2015)

"If they dare set foot near my cat emporium, I'll write a strongly worded letter to my MP"


----------



## Citizen66 (Sep 29, 2015)

cesare said:


> Even better publicity for CW  Never seen so many spluttering tuts and seethings



They're genius at it.


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 30, 2015)

I suppose my line on the Cereal Bar thing would be do they pay the living wage and do they employ local people.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 30, 2015)

The39thStep said:


> I suppose my line on the Cereal Bar thing would be do they pay the living wage and do they employ local people.


Mine would be "where are the fucking Grape Nuts, you cunts"


----------



## ViolentPanda (Sep 30, 2015)

Diamond said:


> You think that the demographic that the beigel shops serve is materially different to the demographic that Cereal Killer serves a few doors down?



Significantly different, not least because of the opening hours. I doubt, for example, that the CKC gets a lot of custom from cabbies and other shiftworkers, or from observant Jews.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 30, 2015)

ViolentPanda said:


> Significantly different, not least because of the opening hours. I doubt, for example, that the CKC gets a lot of custom from cabbies and other shiftworkers, or from observant Jews.



But they are, for the largest part, now a "hipster" (read trendy young person) late night food joint now, no?


----------



## maomao (Sep 30, 2015)

Diamond said:


> It is, however, literally just around the corner from Cereal Killer.  Perhaps a two minute walk tops...


No it's not. There's no corner. They're on the same road.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Sep 30, 2015)

belboid said:


> god yes.



It was only a rumour that Brick Lane Bagels sold salt beef bagels to Yahweh.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 30, 2015)

maomao said:


> No it's not. There's no corner. They're on the same road.



This is a bit tedious - the cat cafe and the cereal cafe are not on the same road.

Care to differ?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Sep 30, 2015)

Diamond said:


> But they are, for the largest part, now a "hipster" (read trendy young person) late night food joint now, no?



Nope. There may be "hipsters" using them at certain times, but they're hardly dependent on the skinny-jeaned brigade for their livelihood.


----------



## maomao (Sep 30, 2015)

Diamond said:


> This is a bit tedious - the cat cafe and the cereal cafe are not on the same road.
> 
> Care to differ?


I thought you meant the bagel shops. I'm very tired. I'll let you have that one.


----------



## Diamond (Sep 30, 2015)

ViolentPanda said:


> Nope. There may be "hipsters" using them at certain times, but they're hardly dependent on the skinny-jeaned brigade for their livelihood.



They're 24 hours, aren't they?

Admittedly, the only time I've been to either of them and have been prepared to wait in the queue, which is normally huge, is late at night and most of the members of that queue look like they would fall into the "hipster" basket, not the shift worker, or the cab driver, and almost certainly not the observant Jew.

Maybe, that's a wrong impression but I have also gone there from time to time to pick up a beigel for lunch during work and the queues have been comparatively minor and the demographic much less "hipster"-ish but my strong impression is that these guys make a lot of, if not most, of their money out of the terrible "hipsters" who might dare to visit the Cereal Killer cafe just down the road.


----------



## Belushi (Sep 30, 2015)

The bagel places have always served a younger crowd late at night, people used to get cabs halfway across the city to go there in the middle of the night


----------



## stethoscope (Sep 30, 2015)

Is this another 'when I was doing some pro bono stuff for my clients late one night in that part of town…' moment coming?


----------



## keybored (Sep 30, 2015)

(Nevermind, caught up on the thread now)


----------



## Sue (Oct 1, 2015)

'Growing up in Belfast, Alan says they “knew what it’s like to be poor — we don’t complain about it”. Their father is a retired electrician and their mother does administrative work.' 

Cereal Killer Cafe owners on being the most hated men in London


----------



## snadge (Oct 1, 2015)

lol, do these two dye their beards?


----------



## superfly101 (Oct 5, 2015)

Jane Jacobs would turn in her grave at 99.9% of the complete and utter drivel that is this thread!


----------



## Citizen66 (Oct 6, 2015)

Who?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 6, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Who?


jane jacobs, who lived down the way from ronnie pickering


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 6, 2015)

Belushi said:


> The bagel places have always served a younger crowd late at night, people used to get cabs halfway across the city to go there in the middle of the night


that's the power of the munchies


----------



## Celyn (Oct 6, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Who?





Pickman's model said:


> jane jacobs, who lived down the way from ronnie pickering



Invented Jacob's Cream Crackers, obviously.  

Or maybe she didn't. Jane Jacobs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## kabbes (Oct 6, 2015)

Celyn said:


> Invented Jacob's Cream Crackers, obviously.
> 
> Or maybe she didn't. Jane Jacobs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Sounds like a prime candidate for an HBO drama series.


----------



## Citizen66 (Oct 6, 2015)

Ah, the penny drops!

Occupation: journalist, author, *urban theorist* (from wiki)


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 6, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> Ah, the penny drops!
> 
> Occupation: journalist, author, *urban theorist* (from wiki)


pls don"t bring penny drops into it.


----------



## krtek a houby (Oct 6, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> jane jacobs, who lived down the way from ronnie pickering



Who the hell is Ronnie Pickering?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 6, 2015)

krtek a houby said:


> Who the hell is Ronnie Pickering?


everyone knows ronnie


----------



## krtek a houby (Oct 6, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> everyone knows ronnie



Is he a hipster?


----------



## DotCommunist (Oct 6, 2015)

ronnie is the opposite of a hipster


----------



## maomao (Oct 6, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> ronnie is the opposite of a hipster


Ronnie is the new hipster vanguard. In 5 years time the cool kids will be cultivating beer bellies, shaving their heads and driving around in Citroen Picasso's offering random people out.


----------



## xenon (Oct 6, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh.  So it's perfectly ok for some cretin to tell me to keep my "trap" shut (for no particular reason), but how dare I respond in kind. They hypocrisy shown in this forum is unbelievable.


 You fucking idiot.


----------



## xenon (Oct 6, 2015)

.


----------



## Citizen66 (Oct 9, 2015)




----------



## Citizen66 (Oct 9, 2015)

Amazon are taking pre-orders. 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cereal-Killer-Cafe-Cookbook-Keery/dp/1785031627

Their bit of publicity came at the right time it seems.


----------



## Sue (Oct 9, 2015)

Dear Lord. How many variations on 'Open pack, pour cereal into bowl, add milk' can there possibly be...?


----------



## bi0boy (Oct 9, 2015)

Sue said:


> Dear Lord. How many variations on 'Open pack, pour cereal into bowl, add milk' can there possibly be...?



Well, there's these for a start:


----------



## Blagsta (Oct 9, 2015)

maomao said:


> Ronnie is the new hipster vanguard. In 5 years time the cool kids will be cultivating beer bellies, shaving their heads and driving around in Citroen Picasso's offering random people out.



I'm way ahead of the game then


----------



## Belushi (Oct 9, 2015)

Sue said:


> Dear Lord. How many variations on 'Open pack, pour cereal into bowl, add milk' can there possibly be...?



I Tried to Cook a Disgusting Meal from the Cereal Killer Café Cookbook | VICE | United Kingdom


----------



## Sue (Oct 9, 2015)

bi0boy said:


> Well, there's these for a start:


I'd no idea I was so ahead of the cool curve when I mastered these as a child.


----------



## Sue (Oct 9, 2015)

Belushi said:


> I Tried to Cook a Disgusting Meal from the Cereal Killer Café Cookbook | VICE | United Kingdom


----------



## Celyn (Oct 10, 2015)

Now there's the question of whether that "recipe book" goes straight into the bargain bins or in fact sells enormously well as people buy it in an ironic sort of way.


----------



## sunnysidedown (Oct 10, 2015)

is there a difference?


----------



## J Ed (Oct 10, 2015)

I can't believe there's an actual book. It's a real shame that Class War didn't burn their shop down


----------



## J Ed (Oct 10, 2015)

Vice is shit as well


----------



## DotCommunist (Oct 10, 2015)

J Ed said:


> I can't believe there's an actual book. It's a real shame that Class War didn't burn their shop down


terraced. You do one the whole row goes


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 10, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> terraced. You do one the whole row goes


burn one get one free


----------



## Citizen66 (Oct 10, 2015)

Have any other cafes ever had a comic-style cookbook? When do they get their zany kids' TV show?


----------



## Cowley (Oct 12, 2015)

Citizen66 said:


> View attachment 77853



I can't stop laughing at this, honestly it's so comical.


----------



## belboid (Oct 12, 2015)

they know they only have a couple of years with this nonsense before the market moves onto something else utterly stupid, so they're milking it for all they can while they can.


----------



## DotCommunist (Oct 12, 2015)

artisan milking it


----------



## hipipol (Oct 12, 2015)

Though I hate most of the guff shops that now infect the area, I must confess to a love of the Brew Dog bar and this place...
Vintage Guitar Boutique
Very dangerous shop, they let you hang about for hours playing some fabulous guitars that fill yer heart with greed and lust for ownership......


----------



## GarveyLives (Jan 24, 2016)

Exposed here ...

'Stop this interview' - cereal café dodges poverty question
'Stop this interview' - cereal café dodges poverty question

Cereal cafe stops interview over price questions | Channel 4 News


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 24, 2016)

That's ages old news. It's from when it opened


----------



## discobastard (Jan 24, 2016)

GarveyLives said:


> Exposed here ...
> 
> 'Stop this interview' - cereal café dodges poverty question
> 'Stop this interview' - cereal café dodges poverty question
> ...




And the rest of the story which you carelessly manage to omit.

The C4 reporter had a pop. And the Cereal Killer cafe snapped back …


----------



## Ranbay (Jan 24, 2016)

yeah before last years today.


----------



## Buckaroo (Feb 3, 2016)

http://i.imgur.com/QIhjiTk.jpg


----------



## Lord Camomile (Feb 3, 2016)

discobastard said:


> The C4 reporter had a pop. And the Cereal Killer cafe snapped back …


"Knock-out blow"  The reporter did pull a bit of a fast one, but that "it's all my fault", "worst person in the world" response is the (over-)reaction of a fucking seven-year-old.


----------



## discobastard (Feb 3, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> "Knock-out blow"  The reporter did pull a bit of a fast one, but that "it's all my fault", "worst person in the world" response is the (over-)reaction of a fucking seven-year-old.


I can excuse that given that he was probably quite angry about how the reporter dealt with the situation. And then an angry mob descended on them one day and attacked the place when there were customers including children inside. 

I'm not for or against them personally but I'd be pretty fucked off if I'd been on the receiving end of that. I'd probably lash out too.


----------



## Diamond (Feb 3, 2016)

There is something a bit rich about people complaining about businesses making a margin on what they produce versus the input cost simply because it is cereal and milk served in a cafe.

I'm pretty sure that most cafes make a margin on their inputs otherwise they wouldn't exist.

By way of example, if you buy a bacon sandwich in a cafe, the proprietor is almost certainly pricing it at a level way above simple input cost in order to cover other costs and try and make a profit.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Feb 3, 2016)

Teabag + water = £2.49


----------



## maomao (Feb 3, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Teabag + water = £2.49


Teabag + water + kettle + cup + underpaid staff + premises + boss's mortgage + boss's cocaine = £2.49


----------



## Lord Camomile (Feb 3, 2016)

maomao said:


> Teabag + water + kettle + cup + underpaid staff + premises + boss's mortgage + boss's cocaine = £2.49


Sorry, sure, I know, was just using it as an example.


----------



## Sweet FA (Feb 3, 2016)




----------



## Santino (Feb 3, 2016)

Diamond said:


> By way of example, if you buy a bacon sandwich in a cafe, the proprietor is almost certainly pricing it at a level way above simple input cost in order to cover other costs and try and make a profit.


You just blew my mind.


----------



## flypanam (Feb 3, 2016)

Globalised localism gone mad, these two arses are opening a cafe in Dublin in Stoneybatter, the 'Williamsburg on the Liffey' 
Brian Boyd: People of Stoneybatter prepare to be gentrified

c
u
n
t
s


----------



## discobastard (Feb 3, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Teabag + water = £2.49


Is £2 a fair price for a cup of hot water and lemon?


----------



## Diamond (Feb 4, 2016)

Santino said:


> You just blew my mind.



Your mind was blown a long time ago pal and you have been struggling to keep up ever since.


----------



## stethoscope (Mar 26, 2016)

Just leaving this here…

Cereal Killer Cafe owners to set up branch in Dubai


----------



## fishfinger (Mar 26, 2016)

stethoscope said:


> Just leaving this here…
> 
> Cereal Killer Cafe owners to set up branch in Dubai


Globalised gentrification


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 26, 2016)

Diamond said:


> There is something a bit rich about people complaining about businesses making a margin on what they produce versus the input cost simply because it is cereal and milk served in a cafe.
> 
> I'm pretty sure that most cafes make a margin on their inputs otherwise they wouldn't exist.
> 
> By way of example, if you buy a bacon sandwich in a cafe, the proprietor is almost certainly pricing it at a level way above simple input cost in order to cover other costs and try and make a profit.


i love your original thought


----------



## LeslieB (Mar 26, 2016)

stethoscope said:


> Just leaving this here…
> 
> Cereal Killer Cafe owners to set up branch in Dubai



Ouch. I did have a certain amount of sympathy with these guys and the way they were targeted. Much less so now though.


----------



## goldenecitrone (Mar 26, 2016)

Hipsters vs Islamic State. Game on.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Mar 26, 2016)

LeslieB said:


> Ouch. I did have a certain amount of sympathy with these guys and the way they were targeted. Much less so now though.


Why "less now"?


----------



## LeslieB (Mar 26, 2016)

Hocus Eye. said:


> Why "less now"?


Because I thought of them as unfairly targeted among many quirky cafes across the land. Had they launched in Manchester or Nottingham or Leeds I doubt anyone would have raised an eyebrow. 

I didn't (and still don't) think the problem is cereal cafes or cat cafes or cupcakes- it's that London wages don't come close to covering rents let alone letting people treat themselves occasionally whether it's at a traditional greasy spoon or a cereal cafe.

I still think that but their global expansions are not exactly the sort of thing the average small independent business can aspire to.


----------



## Reno (Mar 26, 2016)

stethoscope said:


> Just leaving this here…
> 
> Cereal Killer Cafe owners to set up branch in Dubai


When the Cereal Cafe was attacked they came out as gay in the media and they linked the attack to the homophobia they experienced in Belfast. However they seem to have no problem with taking their business to a country where homosexuality is punishable by death and where gay men and women regularly are sent to prison.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 25, 2018)

So those of us who predicted the early demise of this project were very wrong. Not only have they survived but they've thrived and opened up more locations. They've even gone international and opened branches in Dubai and Kuwait City. Hats off to them, I suppose.

Cereal Killer Cafe - London


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 25, 2018)

Spymaster said:


> So those of us who predicted the early demise of this project were very wrong. Not only have they survived but they've thrived and opened up more locations. They've even gone international and opened branches in Dubai and Kuwait City. Hats off to them, I suppose.
> 
> Cereal Killer Cafe - London


just goes to show how many people there are with more money than sense.


----------



## belboid (Sep 25, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> just goes to show how many people there are with more money than sense.


in Dubai and Kuwait? Never!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 25, 2018)

belboid said:


> in Dubai and Kuwait? Never!


not to mention london


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Sep 25, 2018)

Weetabix for a fiver makes pie & mash for a tenner look reasonable.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 25, 2018)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Weetabix for a fiver makes pie & mash for a tenner look reasonable.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 25, 2018)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Weetabix for a fiver makes pie & mash for a tenner look reasonable.


perhaps there should be a weetabix squad in opposition to the pie & mash mob


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 25, 2018)

Have they still got beards though?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 25, 2018)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> Have they still got beards though?


at the prices they charge they should have the finest maintained beards in all the world.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 25, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> at the prices they charge they should have the finest maintained beards in all the world.



They have trained monkey butlers to pick out the Rice Krispies.


----------



## sealion (Sep 25, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> not to mention london


 One has popped up (pun intended) in Brighton. Its full of forty year old skateboarders and uni cyclists.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 25, 2018)

sealion said:


> One has popped up (pun intended) in Brighton. Its full of forty year old skateboarders and uni cyclists.


not to mention superannuated fire jugglers no doubt


----------



## Idaho (Sep 25, 2018)

maomao said:


> Teabag + water + kettle + cup + underpaid staff + premises + boss's mortgage + boss's cocaine = £2.49


And rates, gas, electricity, insurance, etc. The 2p teabag or 8p Weetabix is pretty immaterial.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 25, 2018)

Idaho said:


> And rates, gas, electricity, insurance, etc. The 2p teabag or 8p Weetabix is pretty immaterial.



Do you work for the CBI?


----------



## 8ball (Sep 25, 2018)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Weetabix for a fiver makes pie & mash for a tenner look reasonable.



You should see what Jamie Oliver charges for a wee bit of pasta, tomato and asparagus.


----------



## Idaho (Sep 25, 2018)

8ball said:


> Do you work for the CBI?


Not knowingly.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 25, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> just goes to show how many people there are with more money than sense.



To be fair, they realised that the procurement, preparation and immediate presentation of some ingredients is only a very small part of what people are paying for, then they took the ball and really ran with it.  You sometimes need someone to go really too far to see how far things can really go without breaking.

Hard to respect them setting up in Dubai, though.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 25, 2018)

8ball said:


> To be fair, they realised that the procurement, preparation and immediate presentation of some ingredients is only a very small part of what people are paying for, then they took the ball and really ran with it.  You sometimes need someone to go really too far to see how far things can really go without breaking.
> 
> Hard to respect them setting up in Dubai, though.


I thought that but then realised that they'll only be spanking Dubai expats, so fuck 'em. Hope they charge treble.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 25, 2018)

In a couple of years, these two have made themselves quite wealthy with an idea that very few people thought would fly at all. Fair play to them.


----------



## belboid (Sep 25, 2018)

sealion said:


> One has popped up (pun intended) in Brighton. Its full of forty year old skateboarders and uni cyclists.


But who goes in the cafe?


----------



## sealion (Sep 25, 2018)

belboid said:


> But who goes in the cafe?


Cool people on wheels


----------



## sealion (Sep 25, 2018)

Skatebearders on pogo sticks.


----------



## tim (Sep 25, 2018)

8ball said:


> You should see what Jamie Oliver charges for a wee bit of pasta, tomato and asparagus.



At least his restaurants provide amusement by hemorrhaging money and periodically going bust.


----------



## sealion (Sep 25, 2018)

tim said:


> hemorrhaging money and periodically going bust.


That's his xmas book title sorted!


----------



## 8ball (Sep 25, 2018)

sealion said:


> That's his xmas book title sorted!



Switched the telly over from "Jamie Cooks Italy" last night.
Once I realised I'd read the programme title the wrong way round.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Sep 25, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> perhaps there should be a weetabix squad in opposition to the pie & mash mob


----------



## sealion (Sep 25, 2018)

FridgeMagnet said:


>


Just don't throw milk at them


----------



## sealion (Sep 25, 2018)

8ball said:


> Switched the telly over from "Jamie Cooks Italy" last night.
> Once I realised I'd read the programme title the wrong way round.


Jamie Oliver’s culturally insulting cuisine of the world


----------



## 8ball (Sep 25, 2018)

sealion said:


> Jamie Oliver’s culturally insulting cuisine of the world



The last one is a bit much!


----------



## sealion (Sep 25, 2018)

8ball said:


> The last one is a bit much!


 i didn't get far.


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## Pickman's model (Sep 25, 2018)

Please could a passing mod correct the thread title to reflect the fact that there has not been and is not a cereal killer cafe in Dalston?


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## Sue (Feb 8, 2019)

Hold onto your hats, folks...

Musical inspired by Shoreditch cereal café to open this month


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## Pickman's model (Feb 8, 2019)

Sue said:


> Hold onto your hats, folks...
> 
> Musical inspired by Shoreditch cereal café to open this month


sick bags - get your sick bags here


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## Pickman's model (Feb 8, 2019)

Sue said:


> Hold onto your hats, folks...
> 
> Musical inspired by Shoreditch cereal café to open this month


it's never been in shoreditch

and there (sadly) wasn't an anti-gentrification riot


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## Sue (Feb 8, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> sick bags - get your sick bags here



“Going to the theatre is an experience, it’s like an investment and so you want to see something entertaining and moving. I feel like there needs to be a show set in the UK, about something which is going on now. Hamilton is hugely popular at the moment – but that’s about American politics several hundred years ago!”

Bit disappointing though -- by rights, it should be in the hidden backroom of a launderette in Hackney Wick or something.


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## Reno (Feb 8, 2019)

The horror !


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## isvicthere? (Feb 8, 2019)

There's one called Cereal Shooter here in Murcia, Spain.


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## 8ball (Feb 8, 2019)

isvicthere? said:


> There's one calked Cereal Shooter here in Murcia, Spain.



I’m going to open one called Cereal Monogamist and only sell corn flakes.


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## Chilli.s (Feb 8, 2019)

I gonna do a cordon bleu-esk one where basically  you scrunch up a weetabix with a few matured (gone soft) sugar puffs and drizzled with chocolate milk. Cereal Offender.


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## Riklet (Feb 9, 2019)

Most cereal is fucking rank anyway.

Urgh.


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## xenon (Feb 9, 2019)

Exactly. Serial's shit food for kids and degenerets. Adults eating sugar puffs, doing colouring books and riding push scooters... Have some fucking dignity.


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## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Feb 13, 2019)

Over four years - is it still going then?

ETA: Hmm seems I asked the same a few months ago.


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## editor (Jul 8, 2020)

DEVASTATING NEWS



> Two controversial London cafes famed for selling bowls of supermarket cereal to their punters will not reopen following the lockdown, citing the prolonged closure and industry uncertainty for the decision.
> 
> The Cereal Killer Cafes gained infamy when their first branch opened on Shoreditch’s Brick Lane in 2014, and faced backlash for charging upwards of £2.50 for a bowl of cereal and milk in one of London’s poorest boroughs.











						London's Cereal Killer Cafes to close permanently 'due to Coronavirus'
					

Two controversial London cafes famed for selling bowls of supermarket cereal to their punters will not reopen following the lockdown, citing the prolonged closure and industry uncertainty for the decision.




					www.standard.co.uk


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## Pickman's model (Jul 8, 2020)

editor said:


> DEVASTATING NEWS
> 
> 
> 
> ...


turned out nice again


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## not-bono-ever (Jul 8, 2020)

hows the crisp sandwich place doing ?


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## Yossarian (Jul 8, 2020)

They have Cereal Killer Cafe branches in Kuwait, Qatar, Dubai, and Jordan that still seem to be going strong, weirdly enough.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 8, 2020)

Yossarian said:


> They have Cereal Killer Cafe branches in Kuwait, Qatar, Dubai, and Jordan that still seem to be going strong, weirdly enough.


i'll take little corona victories where i can find them.


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## isvicthere? (Jul 8, 2020)

Here in Murcia, Spain, there's a very similar place called Cereal Shooter. Same idea, but l suspect nothing to do with the Shoreditch hipster twins.


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## Cloo (Jul 8, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> turned out nice again


My kids will be gutted tho!


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## isvicthere? (Jul 8, 2020)

xenon said:


> Exactly. Serial's shit food for kids and degenerets. Adults eating sugar puffs, doing colouring books and riding push scooters... Have some fucking dignity.



Sounds like the go-to breakfast bar for Sugar Ape. Idiots!


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## Smick (Jul 8, 2020)

A cereal cafe has opened in east Belfast and I seem to recall the original guys being from NI. I wonder if that’s related to their closure in London.


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## tim (Jul 8, 2020)

Smick said:


> A cereal cafe has opened in east Belfast and I seem to recall the original guys being from NI. I wonder if that’s related to their closure in London.



Catholic and Protestant Wheatabix


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## Yossarian (Jul 8, 2020)

Smick said:


> A cereal cafe has opened in east Belfast and I seem to recall the original guys being from NI. I wonder if that’s related to their closure in London.



They're probably well-stocked with these:


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## Marty1 (Jul 10, 2020)

Don’t know how this cropped up in conversation but my daughter was going on about visiting this place at some point (her mother is from London way and has family there).

I’ve just sent her the link of it closing.


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## rutabowa (Jul 10, 2020)

I dunno that I am happy about this place closing down. Did they treat their staff shit or something?


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## Chilli.s (Jul 10, 2020)

It was all about the property investment. Having your own business premises means that most of the development costs, motor expense and allsorts are offset against profit. If they now have these all over just think of the long haul flights that were business related.


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## equationgirl (Jul 11, 2020)

Only the London branches are closing, the others and the online store are still trading.


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## IC3D (Jul 11, 2020)

I assume they were loss making cos of the London rent tbf.


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## Lord Camomile (Jul 11, 2020)

equationgirl said:


> Only the London branches are closing, the others and the online store are still trading.


The fuck is the online store?? "Expensive cereals you could just buy in a supermarket"??

While on nostalgia trip over Matey bubble bath*, I came across a 'British corner shop' website that sold British goods, presumably to people overseas? It was pretty expensive and just can't help feeling there'd be a cheaper, easier way to get almost everything they sold, even overseas 


*hey, remember Matey bubble bath?


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## equationgirl (Jul 11, 2020)

You can still buy Matey bubble bath


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## Mogden (Jul 11, 2020)

equationgirl said:


> You can still buy Matey bubble bath


It's not the same smell  Just like Bonjela doesn't have the same taste.

I actually have a proper old bottle of Matey that I huff when I'm feeling nostalgic. Sometimes best mate Mogden has a sniff too. Some say weird, I say quirky


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