# Ridiculous & evil interview questions



## Hellsbells (Jul 27, 2017)

Had an interview today that I think went ok but I've never had so many evil and ridiculous questions. The worst was 'tell us about your interests outside of work....what do you do when you leave the workplace....and how does this help you in your job'. Thankfully I managed to come up with something sensible but honestly, what a stupid question. 
Other evil questions included 'what would your partner or friends say about you if we asked them' and 'tell us your greatest weakness'. Luckily I was able to think of something other than chocolate.


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## DotCommunist (Jul 27, 2017)

'where do you see yourself in five years time'

somehow the honest answer always comes out:

'I don't generally plan that far ahead'


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## souljacker (Jul 27, 2017)

"Why do you want this job?"

"So I can pay for food, shelter and drugs. Why else does anyone go to work?"


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## Virtual Blue (Jul 27, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> Had an interview today that I think went ok but I've never had so many evil and ridiculous questions. The worst was 'tell us about your interests outside of work....what do you do when you leave the workplace....and how does this help you in your job'. Thankfully I managed to come up with something sensible but honestly, what a stupid question.
> Other evil questions included 'what would your partner or friends say about you if we asked them' and 'tell us your greatest weakness'. Luckily I was able to think of something other than chocolate.



Those are easy questions and not at all evil.

I'm a twat at interviews (I interview quite a bit, across 9 businesses) and here are my favourite wanker questions.

1. Describe a time when you failed.

2. I wish I was enthusiastic about you as you're good on paper. Not sure how you will survive in our changing environment, do you care to comment?

3. Describe a time when you let your team down.

4. What's your biggest regret in your career so far?


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## bi0boy (Jul 27, 2017)

I had one of those once. How would your parents describe you and all that nonsense. Luckily I wore trainers to the interview so I think they were just going through the motions as they didn't approve of that.


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## Hellsbells (Jul 27, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> Those are easy questions and not at all evil.



How would you answer the question about your interests outside work?


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## bi0boy (Jul 27, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> How would you answer the question about your interests outside work?



Reading, cinema, walking blah blah it helps me relax so I can come into work each day stress-free and in a fantastic mood ready to get things done.


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## Virtual Blue (Jul 27, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> How would you answer the question about your interests outside work?



Me personally, it would be "I do a lot of sports that include gym, martial arts, skateboarding and cycling. I try to stay fit so I can deal with the stresses of work and family life."

But tbh, when I ask this question it's not because I'm interested.
It's cos I want to humanise myself and the company I'm representing.


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## Teaboy (Jul 27, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> Had an interview today that I think went ok but I've never had so many evil and ridiculous questions. The worst was 'tell us about your interests outside of work....what do you do when you leave the workplace....and how does this help you in your job'. Thankfully I managed to come up with something sensible but honestly, what a stupid question.
> Other evil questions included 'what would your partner or friends say about you if we asked them' and 'tell us your greatest weakness'. Luckily I was able to think of something other than chocolate.



I think they're fine.  Gets a picture of the person and how they might fit in to the team / company.  Being competent at your job but a total arse that pisses everyone off is not much use.

Its the formulaic crap that is just trying to catch people out that is real shit. See above.

Either that or when the interviewer just wants to show off.  Also anything to do with some crappy off-the-shelf HR company ethos crap.


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## Teaboy (Jul 27, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> How would you answer the question about your interests outside work?



Honestly. Unless its not for public consumption.


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## Teaboy (Jul 27, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> Me personally, it would be "I do a lot of sports that include gym, martial arts, skateboarding and cycling. I try to stay fit so I can deal with the stresses of work and family life."
> 
> But tbh, when I ask this question it's not because I'm interested.
> It's cos I want to humanise myself and the company I'm representing.



I wouldn't mention stresses of work at an interview. Makes you sound like a stress head who struggles to manage their role.


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## Teaboy (Jul 27, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> 'where do you see yourself in five years time'
> 
> somehow the honest answer always comes out:
> 
> 'I don't generally plan that far ahead'



"I'm ambitious but first I want to get settled into this role and become established within the team / company / marketplace"

This sort of crap.


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## Hellsbells (Jul 27, 2017)

I said I do alot of cycling as it helps relax me & relieves stress so makes me calm at work. And the fact that the job is quite sendentary, doing exercise makes me come to work energetic and enthusiastic. 

Overheard some of the other interviees saying they went home and watched telly with a glass of wine.


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## bi0boy (Jul 27, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> Me personally, it would be "I do a lot of sports that include gym, martial arts, skateboarding and cycling. I try to stay fit so I can deal with the stresses of work and family life."
> 
> But tbh, when I ask this question it's not because I'm interested.
> It's cos I want to humanise myself and the company I'm representing.



If you need to ask personal questions in a job interview to "humanize" yourself and the company then something is wrong. 

What's wrong with talking about the weather on the way up the stairs or something.


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## 2hats (Jul 27, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> Me personally, it would be "I do a lot of sports that include gym, martial arts, skateboarding and cycling. I try to stay fit so I can deal with the stresses of work and family life."


“I exercise enthusiastically, to let off steam, so I’m less likely to kill co-workers.”


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## spanglechick (Jul 27, 2017)

My current head asked a few questions about hobbies and so on, but that's because she wants to know what people are really like.


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## weltweit (Jul 27, 2017)

Everyone should be prepared for the "your greatest weakness" question. And be of no doubt you don't mention your real weaknesses!

You say, I used to have this (work related) issue and I have learnt to cope with it buy doing abc, now it is no longer a weakness!


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## weltweit (Jul 27, 2017)

I was once asked what my greatest achievement was. It was during a time in the interview when they were asking more personal questions so I said I have two, one work related and the other bringing up my son. It transpired the family one was what they were hoping to hear.

During that interview they asked a lot of quite silly questions, what was the last book you read? and things like that ...


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## Fez909 (Jul 27, 2017)

weltweit said:


> Everyone should be prepared for the "your greatest weakness" question. And be of no doubt you don't mention your real weaknesses!
> 
> You say, I used to have this (work related) issue and I have learnt to cope with it buy doing abc, now it is no longer a weakness!


I always tell the truth to that...my biggest weakness is public speaking, or even addressing small-medium crowds/meetings. I get nervous, and don't like it, and don't like everyone's attention on me.

I come across well in small groups though, so I think they either don't believe me, or don't care. When you work in IT, you'll almost certainly not be the worst public speaker in the team your joining anyway....and it's usually not that relevant.


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## weltweit (Jul 27, 2017)

tbf I find the idea of public speaking terrifying. I am also ok with small groups.


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## bluescreen (Jul 27, 2017)

Fez909 said:


> I always tell the truth to that...my biggest weakness is public speaking, or even addressing small-medium crowds/meetings. I get nervous, and don't like it, and don't like everyone's attention on me.
> 
> I come across well in small groups though, so I think they either don't believe me, or don't care. When you work in IT, you'll almost certainly not be the worst public speaker in the team your joining anyway....and it's usually not that relevant.



And if they want you to do it as part of your job you can get training for it.


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## FridgeMagnet (Jul 27, 2017)

I'd just laugh if I heard "what's your biggest weakness" and assume it was a joke - maybe say "I'm a workaholic" in a really hammy voice.


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## bi0boy (Jul 27, 2017)

spanglechick said:


> My current head asked a few questions about hobbies and so on, but that's because she wants to know what people are really like.



Yes, asking someone about their hobbies in a job interview is the best way to find out what someone is really like.

May as well note whether their eyes are too close together or not.


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Jul 27, 2017)

weltweit said:


> tbf I find the idea of public speaking terrifying. I am also ok with small groups.



I can get my head around public speaking and yet find small to media groups terrifying. Is that a bit of an odd way round? Had a rough start to the day at work head wise and only had a small group of people to deal with. Was wishing I had a large sea of faces so I could disconnect a bit. 

Like fuck would I disclose this to an employer.


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Jul 27, 2017)

My weirdest interview I had to put a bridle on a horse as well as pursading the dam thing follow me and a group of people I'd never met before around a course all in silence after being allowed to talk for 2 mins before hand. I know fuck all about horses. I still do some work for them 4.5 years later but fortunately my only dealings with horses are when I have to clean up their shit.

Oh. I did get asked in the interview bit after the horses what I do if a colleague told me they were gay.


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## FridgeMagnet (Jul 27, 2017)

I hear there's a fashion in some tech companies for "whiteboard" tests, where they ask you a weird technical algorithm question and you have to stand up and solve it without using any references. This would certainly be ridiculous and evil, but is so far from the actual process of work in the real world that I'd assume I was being interviewed by people who knew nothing about the actual job and basically cut it short. "You know, I don't think we'd be a very good fit, and I wouldn't want to waste your time, I'm sure you're very busy."


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## spanglechick (Jul 27, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Yes, asking someone about their hobbies in a job interview is the best way to find out what someone is really like.
> 
> May as well note whether their eyes are too close together or not.


Well no, I don't mean that - she just likes to see candidates more at ease and chatty about something they genuinely love. To give the personality a chance of being glimpsed.


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## trabuquera (Jul 27, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> Me personally, it would be "I do a lot of sports that include gym, martial arts, skateboarding and cycling. I try to stay fit so I can deal with the stresses of work and family life."
> 
> But tbh, when I ask this question it's not because I'm interested.
> It's cos I want to humanise myself and the company I'm representing.



But do you not see that as an applicant, questions about my home / private / non work life don't seem to humanise the interviewer/company at all - they just seem creepy and intrusive and over-controlling. OK I'm the world's worst interviewee but being asked that would make me go  then  then  and I'd probably either clam up or go completely silent or snap "it's none of your business what I do off the clock as long as it's legal and not prejudicing your company" or say "well I like to do x and y to relieve the stresses and frustrations of work life". 

so if you're asking this to let interviewees shine it might be backfiring!


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## weltweit (Jul 27, 2017)

The really nasty interview questions are competency based questions which you hadn't anticipated. You know the ones that start with "tell us about a time when you ... "

You can have rehearsed the STAR technique all you like but if you can't quickly think of a time when you did whatever they are asking, or perhaps one that you are prepared to share.. you are in trouble.


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## RubyToogood (Jul 27, 2017)

The most curved ball one I've ever been asked was "why do people go on courses in [X work-related software product] but they don't go on courses in Facebook?" I think it was deliberately meant as a curved ball to test my quick thinking and aplomb or something.


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## Hellsbells (Jul 28, 2017)

I think I found the questions evil because all the interviews I've had in the last 10 years have been really straightforward and just based purely on the person spec & a bit of micro teaching to the panel which I'm quite good at. 

Anyway, I got the job so I clearly answered the questions ok


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## bemused (Jul 28, 2017)

I once had a guy ask me to tell him what type of tree I'd be.


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## Hellsbells (Jul 28, 2017)

bemused said:


> I once had a guy ask me to tell him what type of tree I'd be.


That's proper ridiculous. I had that in a getting to know you meditation class once


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## Puddy_Tat (Jul 28, 2017)

bemused said:


> I once had a guy ask me to tell him what type of tree I'd be.


was it for a branch manager job?


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 28, 2017)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I'd just laugh if I heard "what's your biggest weakness" and assume it was a joke - maybe say "I'm a workaholic" in a really hammy voice.



of course the answer is, "I'm too honest."  "Not sure that's a weakness?"   "Don't give a fuck what you think, big-nose"


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 28, 2017)

I did the most stupid job interview recently. The first question was 'Tell us a bit about yourself' and the _second _one was 'Where do you see yourself in five years time?' Rest of interview was all about problems in the workplace and how you resolved them, arguments with managers and how you fixed it, etc. This is apparently called a 'competency based interview.' Urgh.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 28, 2017)

bemused said:


> I once had a guy ask me to tell him what type of tree I'd be.




"I'd be a T-Tree, a Mr-T-Tree, fool!"


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## kabbes (Jul 28, 2017)

I ask difficult logic puzzles to graduates to see how their mind works.  Must be a bit nasty to get.

To experienced candidates, I ask them very detailed questions about what they do to see if they have proper in-depth understanding.  Fair, but can feel like a proper grilling, I'm sure.  Particularly if you don't know your stuff really well.


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## DotCommunist (Jul 28, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> "I'd be a T-Tree, a Mr-T-Tree, fool!"


'I'd be a yew tree if ya get me'

*wink*


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 28, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> 'I'd be a yew tree if ya get me'
> 
> *wink*


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## fuck seals (Jul 28, 2017)

two i had

q. hi seals glad you could come today: over to you. /silence

a. 25mins pitch from me 


q. how much does it cost to stock your local supermarket

a. well my supermarket has 20 aisles, about half of them open.  its open fot 10 hrs and i guess the average transaction is 100pounds.  each customer takes 6 mins so 10 per hr.  so the take is 100x10x10x10 or 100k per day.  im going to assume that gheres an even spread across cheap and expensive items sold and im going to assume that without restocking the shelves 15% of stock is depleted.  so 100k is 15% of the stocking cost, which gives approx 700k for the whole stock


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## Throbbing Angel (Jul 28, 2017)

'if you were a car, what kind of car would you be?'

This was at a place where I already had a job that was going through a period of change.  Cue squinty look from me and begrudgingly offering ' a blue one'


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## Teaboy (Jul 28, 2017)

Not a question as such but the biggest bellend I've ever been interviewed by.  

The interview was due to take place in the coffee shop area of a hotel as they often are in my line of work.  The normal deal is you arrive and call them and find each other.  This one guy got in a huff because I did this and hadn't recognised him, we'd never met but apparently I should have looked him up on Linked-In and memorised everything about him.

I have no idea what he thought of me after that as I told the recruitment agent I wasn't interested.


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Jul 28, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> Not a question as such but the biggest bellend I've ever been interviewed by.
> 
> The interview was due to take place in the coffee shop area of a hotel as they often are in my line of work.  The normal deal is you arrive and call them and find each other.  This one guy got in a huff because I did this and hadn't recognised him, we'd never met but apparently I should have looked him up on Linked-In and memorised everything about him.
> 
> I have no idea what he thought of me after that as I told the recruitment agent I wasn't interested.



He wanted you to stalk him? Thats a bit creepy no?


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 28, 2017)

Throbbing Angel said:


> 'if you were a car, what kind of car would you be?'



"I'd be a milk float."


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Jul 28, 2017)

I've just remembered another one I had. I was at a loose end and was looking at other fields of work. It was at a bording school for intresting young people. Turned up and the buildings and reception seemed proper old school and formal. The candidate before me left and was wearing a suit. I was dressed in a decent softshell and trainers I could comfortably walk about in all day and do a bit of climbing in if the situation warranted it.* Was met by two very serious men in very dark suits who sat on opposite sides of the room, so I couldn't look at both of them at the same time. First question. Your likely to be punched, kicked and spat on in this job. Why do you want it? Probably luckily enough for both of us I didn't get it. I suspect I'd ace that interview today, fuck me I'd have hated to work with them.

* I only mention the trainers as some years previous I'd be waiting with other candidates at another interview and got asked what I thought of the 5.10 Guide Tennies and it led to just chatting about climbing in Spain with the person interviewing me.


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## emanymton (Jul 28, 2017)

UnderAnOpenSky said:


> First question. Your likely to be punched, kicked and spat on in this job. Why do you want it?


Well normally I have to pay £200 an hour...


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## Mr Smin (Aug 13, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> The most curved ball one I've ever been asked was "why do people go on courses in [X work-related software product] but they don't go on courses in Facebook?" I think it was deliberately meant as a curved ball to test my quick thinking and aplomb or something.



I use that when discussing software and user training with managers. I ask if they ever shopped on Amazon and if so, were they trained first? To illustrate that CRM etc software should be made flexible but still obvious.


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## RubyToogood (Aug 13, 2017)

Mr Smin said:


> I use that when discussing software and user training with managers. I ask if they ever shopped on Amazon and if so, were they trained first? To illustrate that CRM etc software should be made flexible but still obvious.


I found the question particularly confusing because I had never had any training in the work-related product and had worked the whole thing out including how to program the backend just from the help files, but I have been on social media courses! The context of use is really different - it depends what level you're using the product at and what for and how much it matters if you screw up.


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## Jon-of-arc (Aug 13, 2017)

In my last interview, I got asked "if you were a brand, what brand would you be?"

"Uh, wtf?"

"Y'know, a brand - McDonalds, Wrigley's, British Airways - what brand are you most like, and why?"

"Can I have a few seconds to think?"

"Yes"

"..........."

".........."

"Ok, I think I've got one - I'm like Netflix, because the more my customers use me, the better I get to know them.  I am able to use this information and adapt to offer a more personalised service.  I am also available on demand*, for whatever they may require".

A pretty decent answer, I have to say. HR bod that I know said it was very good - exactly the sort of thing they'd be looking for in one of those "put you on the spot, see if you can make up bullshit that aligns with company values" sort of questions. Still didn't get the job, though. Cunts made me give up my dignity like that for nothing.

Also once got asked "if you were an animal, what sort of animal would you be?".  I went with "Scottish Wildcat - intelligent, independent, and cannot be tamed" (it was a door to door high pressure tactics sales type role - I turned them down, partly on the basis of that fucking question, but also because the pay structure turned out to look really dodgy and not guaranteed).

*Between the hours of 9am and 5pm, Monday to Friday, I did not say.


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## Wolveryeti (Aug 13, 2017)

"Describe a time you demonstrated ownership"

Ugh.


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## Puddy_Tat (Aug 13, 2017)

Wolveryeti said:


> "Describe a time you demonstrated ownership"
> 
> Ugh.



bosses talk about "ownership"

then they get miffed if you take stuff home and keep it


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## farmerbarleymow (Aug 13, 2017)

Interviewing people is a boring way to spend a day, although a necessary evil that has to be done.  The mental effort of paying attention and pretending to be interested in what the candidate is talking about is exhausting.


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## Wilf (Aug 13, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> 3. Describe a time when you let your team down.


"Due to my selfishness and utter cuntitude I let the team members down on a daily basis. However, with regard to today's managerial post, these are the qualities I bring to the table".


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## Wilf (Aug 13, 2017)

Think I've only ever interviewed for about 4 posts in 35 years of working life.  However, when I have I almost end up a gibbering wreck trying to put the candidates at ease and asking the questions in a non-confrontational way. I'm hopeless.


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## Wolveryeti (Aug 13, 2017)

weltweit said:


> Everyone should be prepared for the "your greatest weakness" question. And be of no doubt you don't mention your real weaknesses!
> 
> You say, I used to have this (work related) issue and I have learnt to cope with it buy doing abc, now it is no longer a weakness!


Or just say you are an obsessive succeedophile. 

Works best for teaching jobs.


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## SpookyFrank (Aug 13, 2017)

Wolveryeti said:


> "Describe a time you demonstrated ownership"
> 
> Ugh.



What does that even mean an office-bullshit context?

The only thing I can think of would be if you got pulled over by the filth and had to produce documents to demonstrate that you were the rightful owner of the car. Which doesn't seem relevant to a work environment.


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## SpookyFrank (Aug 13, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> 3. Describe a time when you let your team down.



"Well once I wasted time and money hiring some fuckstick of a management consultant to come up with a bunch of bullshit interview questions with which to deliberately fuck over potential co-workers, helping to create a dysfunctional work environment straight off the bat whilst also selecting staff members via their ability to jump through arbitrary hoops rather then their ability to actually do the work required of them. I've since learned to talk to people, interviewees included, in straightforward terms and with a level of respect that everyone has a right to expect in what is presumably supposed to be a professional setting."


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## FridgeMagnet (Aug 13, 2017)

SpookyFrank said:


> What does that even mean an office-bullshit context?
> 
> The only thing I can think of would be if you got pulled over by the filth and had to produce documents to demonstrate that you were the rightful owner of the car. Which doesn't seem relevant to a work environment.


It means personal responsibility and control. So "reports came through that the nozzles of the chicken soup machine were clogged. I took ownership of the issue, determined that the nozzles were indeed clogged and prioritised the unclogging in the next sprint planning."


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## kabbes (Aug 13, 2017)

The six I conducted last week were all 100% competency based.  I asked them about things they had done then really drilled into the specifics of it -- what it taught them, what information they could derive from it about X and Y (that they didn't already have experience in), tell be about the risks, systemic issues, etc for about 30 minutes.  Then: how they would approach this problem, which they had no data for, how would they explain thus technical thing to me as if I didn't know it etc for another 30 minutes.

I've got a lot of applicants and I want to know which one will be best at the job, not what their personalities are.


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## Corax (Aug 13, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> 'tell us your greatest weakness'


Run a mile.  Any interviewer using that as an interview question is a fucking idiot.

_"Petty larceny and dipsomania"_


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## FridgeMagnet (Aug 13, 2017)

One of the things that the Google twat situation reminded me of was how little difference there was between job skills and interpersonal skills, in software development at least. Which doesn't mean that somebody who's an arsehole is necessarily bad at their job, or that somebody you like will be good (that way lies the opposite problem - "culture fit" bias and the silent prejudices that come with that) but that how people deal with different situations and relate to other people is far more important than whether they can solve some obscure computer science problem on a whiteboard. In software dev the point where your ability to work well in a team is more important than any technical skills you have is reached really quickly. If I was interviewing someone who didn't appreciate that and wasn't new to the industry they'd probably not get a job. It's the difference between a developer and a hacker.

This is very difficult to judge, and also people change and learn new things while in a job anyway. But if the necessary capabilities were easily expressible outside of a human context, that job either is already done by a machine or will be done by a machine or is so badly paid and exploited that a machine would cost more.


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## Corax (Aug 13, 2017)

This whole 'competency based interviewing' thing sounds fine for technical jobs I guess.  But in my roles my biggest strength, that genuinely set me apart from my colleagues, was that I knew when and how to just fucking google something.

Seriously, I was lauded as some sort of genius at times, just because I'd spent half an hour on the net.  

I guess I can dress it up as 'advanced research skills'


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## kabbes (Aug 13, 2017)

Competency includes interpersonal and communication skills.  They are crucial competencies.

You have to structure your interviews though -- identify what you are looking for, work out questions that test for it and then know what your success criteria are for answering this questions.  If you don't, you have an unstructured interview and endless research shows that performs materially the same as random chance at picking good candidates.


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## FridgeMagnet (Aug 13, 2017)

Corax said:


> This whole 'competency based interviewing' thing sounds fine for technical jobs I guess.  But in my roles my biggest strength, that genuinely set me apart from my colleagues, was that I knew when and how to just fucking google something.
> 
> Seriously, I was lauded as some sort of genius at times, just because I'd spent half an hour on the net.
> 
> I guess I can dress it up as 'advanced research skills'


No, that's something I specifically look for - when and how people do research. Any dev who says they never google anything is a liar. I hit google multiple times a day. I can't even remember which order basic PHP functions take parameters - it is (needle, haystack) or (haystack, needle)? I freely say this in interviews; search engines are a tool that everyone should be able to use. OTOH people who just C&P stuff from StackExchange are no good.

eta: one of the ironies is that Google's tech interviews famously concentrate on "whiteboard" performance without the use of search engines. Which is not good.


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## RubyToogood (Aug 13, 2017)

One of the problems with rigidly competency based interviews as a candidate is that they can be really deadening and leave you with no impression of what the employer is like and whether you want to work for them. In fact I find this in general with job interviews, that interviewers often forget that finding out if you're the right person for the job is only half the battle - they also have to make sure you want it.


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## kabbes (Aug 14, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> One of the problems with rigidly competency based interviews as a candidate is that they can be really deadening and leave you with no impression of what the employer is like and whether you want to work for them. In fact I find this in general with job interviews, that interviewers often forget that finding out if you're the right person for the job is only half the battle - they also have to make sure you want it.


This is completely true.  So as an interviewer, your job is to make sure you don't fall into that trap.  Competency based interviews also give you an unrivalled chance to show the candidate how the role is exciting and offers them real development opportunities, if you get it right.  And, of course, as an interviewer you have plenty of chance to tell the candidate about what the role involves, what the employer is like, what opportunities they will have.  To do that job of selling it.  Personally, every bit of feedback I get from candidates is that the interview has made them really want the job.

The other good thing about doing interviews properly is that you can then give objective constructive feedback to candidates about where and why they missed out, which is actually useful to them for future applications.  Plus similarly personalised, detailed feedback to successful candidates about why you DO want them, which helps sell the role -- everybody likes to feel they have been chosen for genuine reasons that rings true about themselves.

I'd say that over 90% of people are terrible at conducting interviews, and no surprise -- how many people have ever done any proper training in it, or read any of the research, or formulated any real strategy for what their approach is and why?  The good news is that I f you do actually know what you're doing, this puts you at a great competitive advantage.


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## sorearm (Aug 14, 2017)

Virtual Blue said:


> Those are easy questions and not at all evil.
> 
> I'm a twat at interviews (I interview quite a bit, across 9 businesses) and here are my favourite wanker questions.
> 
> ...



Gah. I would hate to have you interviewing me! I hate those questions, although I've got quite a few answers and scenarios in my interview checklist.

For my current job there were the usual ones like above but there were about 3 or 4 scenario based questions - what would you do in situation X, gave an answer and then the scenario changed and was asked what would I do in light of new information etc.  They were quite good actually as I think these sort of questions demonstrated actual thinking about the role and where it fits in the organisation, consequences, error-chain and being sure of work quality. Obviously did OK as I got the job


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## sparkybird (Aug 25, 2017)

I was once asked if I was planning to start a family....

I doubt very much if they asked the same question of the guys.


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## kabbes (Aug 25, 2017)

sparkybird said:


> I was once asked if I was planning to start a family....
> 
> I doubt very much if they asked the same question of the guys.


That's illegal in the U.K.  It breaks anti-discrimination law.


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## cupid_stunt (Aug 25, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> 'where do you see yourself in five years time'
> '



First time I was asked that, I replied, 'in your chair'.

Then thought that sounds threatening, bit of quick thinking, and I followed it up with, 'after your promotion', digging myself out of my hole.

I got the job.


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## cupid_stunt (Aug 25, 2017)

This thread reminds me of the guy that went for an interview at an Apple store, all was going well until they asked, 'what's your favourite Apple product?', and he responded, 'cider'.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 25, 2017)

kabbes said:


> I ask difficult logic puzzles to graduates to see how their mind works.  Must be a bit nasty to get.
> 
> To experienced candidates, I ask them very detailed questions about what they do to see if they have proper in-depth understanding.  Fair, but can feel like a proper grilling, I'm sure.  Particularly if you don't know your stuff really well.





kabbes said:


> The six I conducted last week were all 100% competency based.  I asked them about things they had done then really drilled into the specifics of it -- what it taught them, what information they could derive from it about X and Y (that they didn't already have experience in), tell be about the risks, systemic issues, etc for about 30 minutes.  Then: how they would approach this problem, which they had no data for, how would they explain thus technical thing to me as if I didn't know it etc for another 30 minutes.
> 
> I've got a lot of applicants and I want to know which one will be best at the job, not what their personalities are.





kabbes said:


> Competency includes interpersonal and communication skills.  They are crucial competencies.
> 
> You have to structure your interviews though -- identify what you are looking for, work out questions that test for it and then know what your success criteria are for answering this questions.  If you don't, you have an unstructured interview and endless research shows that performs materially the same as random chance at picking good candidates.





kabbes said:


> This is completely true.  So as an interviewer, your job is to make sure you don't fall into that trap.  Competency based interviews also give you an unrivalled chance to show the candidate how the role is exciting and offers them real development opportunities, if you get it right.  And, of course, as an interviewer you have plenty of chance to tell the candidate about what the role involves, what the employer is like, what opportunities they will have.  To do that job of selling it.  Personally, every bit of feedback I get from candidates is that the interview has made them really want the job.
> 
> The other good thing about doing interviews properly is that you can then give objective constructive feedback to candidates about where and why they missed out, which is actually useful to them for future applications.  Plus similarly personalised, detailed feedback to successful candidates about why you DO want them, which helps sell the role -- everybody likes to feel they have been chosen for genuine reasons that rings true about themselves.
> 
> I'd say that over 90% of people are terrible at conducting interviews, and no surprise -- how many people have ever done any proper training in it, or read any of the research, or formulated any real strategy for what their approach is and why?  The good news is that I f you do actually know what you're doing, this puts you at a great competitive advantage.





This is all very professional and well researched, as we've come to expect from you kabbes 

So who did you go for in the end? The one with the biggest tits, yeah?


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## kabbes (Aug 25, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> This is all very professional and well researched, as we've come to expect from you kabbes
> 
> So who did you go for in the end? The one with the biggest tits, yeah?


The one I interviewed first.

Could have saved myself a further 12 gruelling hours


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## cupid_stunt (Aug 25, 2017)

kabbes said:


> The one I interviewed first.
> 
> Could have saved myself a further 12 gruelling hours



It goes like that sometimes.


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## trabuquera (Aug 25, 2017)

"Tell us your greatest weakness".

"Well I don't suffer _fools_ gladly and I hate wasting time on stupid, make-work, tick-box tasks or jumping through arbitrary hoops for no good reason" <glares at interviewer>


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## cupid_stunt (Aug 25, 2017)

trabuquera said:


> "Tell us your greatest weakness".
> 
> "Well I don't suffer _fools_ gladly and I hate wasting time on stupid, make-work, tick-box tasks or jumping through hoops for no good reason" <glares at interviewer>



I've never asked that question in an interview, but if I had too, and you replied like that, the job would be yours.


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## Griff (Aug 25, 2017)

What are your weaknesses?

I don't do well at interviews.

You seem to be doing fine.

You would think that, 'cos you're a fucking idiot.


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## A380 (Aug 29, 2017)

What do you think you would bring to our organist?

Cleansing fire.


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## cybershot (Aug 29, 2017)

I had one recently that was a really tough question (it was for a server specialist job, which i purely applied for just for a wage bump, but also had my eye on another vacancy, which I wanted more, and got, so I wasn't too arsed I didn't get this job in the end) about new member of staff joining who was considered a major VIP, and they wanted to bring terrabytes of research data with them, and also set up their own research cluster. Now considering I wasn't in a position to making these kind of decisions on if said person would be allowed to do all this, at least the decision of someone 2 grades higher for the position I was applying for, so I pretty much gave that answer, but said I would be happy to act as a go between so I was involved in every step of the conversation so I would be better prepared for their incoming arrivial.

Turned out in my feedback session, this was a real case scenario, and they still didn't know what to do themselves. Gee, thanks, use an interview question as a brainstorming session why don't you. Thought it was a bit unprofessional personally.


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## DotCommunist (Aug 29, 2017)

A380 said:


> What do you think you would bring to our organist?
> 
> Cleansing fire.


poor organist


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## Cheesypoof (Aug 29, 2017)

_What was your last favourite job, and why?_

Actually caught me a bit off guard. Its a stupid question, but a good one to have an answer 'ready' for


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## likesfish (Sep 3, 2017)

Prison service had five role plays against professional actors 

Where you had to show integrity empathy but Challenge any discriminatory language oh and you have 5 minutes .
 Not sure having the only  black actor running a weapons and drugs gang inside was that diverse

I suprisingly passed all of them includling the two juvinile scenarios which I wasnt even applying for .


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## friendofdorothy (Sep 5, 2017)

whoops I read that as least favourite job


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## friendofdorothy (Sep 5, 2017)

Cheesypoof said:


> _What was your last favourite job, and why?_
> 
> Actually caught me a bit off guard. Its a stupid question, but a good one to have an answer 'ready' for


last favourite as in most recent favourite? How did you reply?


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## Gromit (Sep 5, 2017)

cybershot said:


> I had one recently that was a really tough question (it was for a server specialist job, which i purely applied for just for a wage bump, but also had my eye on another vacancy, which I wanted more, and got, so I wasn't too arsed I didn't get this job in the end) about new member of staff joining who was considered a major VIP, and they wanted to bring terrabytes of research data with them, and also set up their own research cluster. Now considering I wasn't in a position to making these kind of decisions on if said person would be allowed to do all this, at least the decision of someone 2 grades higher for the position I was applying for, so I pretty much gave that answer, but said I would be happy to act as a go between so I was involved in every step of the conversation so I would be better prepared for their incoming arrivial.
> 
> Turned out in my feedback session, this was a real case scenario, and they still didn't know what to do themselves. Gee, thanks, use an interview question as a brainstorming session why don't you. Thought it was a bit unprofessional personally.


You don't want to be hosting someone else's Intellectual Property for a number of reasons. 
Option 1.
If the VIP is worth the cost you could facilitate a personal system at their home with which to store it. Pay for a third party to migrate the data just in case there are IP issues around its possession. Distant yourself. 
The cost of equipment and personnel to set it up is written off as a sign on bonus. 
Option 2. 
Insist on documentation from previous employers that they retain no IP rights to any of the material. If you get this then happy days just set it up. Don't expect this to happen quickly. 
Option 3. Tell the VIP tough titty.

I'd have gone with option 1.


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## cybershot (Sep 6, 2017)

Gromit said:


> You don't want to be hosting someone else's Intellectual Property for a number of reasons.
> Option 1.
> If the VIP is worth the cost you could facilitate a personal system at their home with which to store it. Pay for a third party to migrate the data just in case there are IP issues around its possession. Distant yourself.
> The cost of equipment and personnel to set it up is written off as a sign on bonus.
> ...



If only, When you poach someone of that caliber, you bend over backwards as it's a major coup for your institution. I don't what they did in the end.


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## Cheesypoof (Sep 6, 2017)

friendofdorothy said:


> last favourite as in most recent favourite? How did you reply?



no, just what was my favourite job I had ever had. I paused first while thinking, and then said it was one that had involved a lot of travelling, including visits to the Arctic. Interviewer nodded back. This was a 'wrong' kind of answer as the role I had applied for did not involve travel. I'm glad I didnt get it. 

I guess the 'correct' answer to the question is to pick something where you really got to shine, show off your skills while learning more, or some such BS.


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## Gromit (Sep 6, 2017)

Cheesypoof said:


> no, just what was my favourite job I had ever had. I paused first while thinking, and then said it was one that had involved a lot of travelling, including visits to the Arctic. Interviewer nodded back. This was a 'wrong' kind of answer as the role I had applied for did not involve travel. I'm glad I didnt get it.
> 
> I guess the 'correct' answer to the question is to pick something where you really got to shine, show off your skills while learning more, or some such BS.


I really enjoyed the job where they paid me a fuckton of money for doing feck all. 
Thank you for your time Mr Gromit. 

Was that the wrong honest answer?


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## Cheesypoof (Sep 6, 2017)

Gromit said:


> I really enjoyed the job where they paid me a fuckton of money for doing feck all.
> Thank you for your time Mr Gromit.
> 
> Was that the wrong honest answer?



Yep, that be wrong too


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## Jon-of-arc (Sep 8, 2017)

cybershot said:


> I had one recently that was a really tough question (it was for a server specialist job, which i purely applied for just for a wage bump, but also had my eye on another vacancy, which I wanted more, and got, so I wasn't too arsed I didn't get this job in the end) about new member of staff joining who was considered a major VIP, and they wanted to bring terrabytes of research data with them, and also set up their own research cluster. Now considering I wasn't in a position to making these kind of decisions on if said person would be allowed to do all this, at least the decision of someone 2 grades higher for the position I was applying for, so I pretty much gave that answer, but said I would be happy to act as a go between so I was involved in every step of the conversation so I would be better prepared for their incoming arrivial.
> 
> Turned out in my feedback session, this was a real case scenario, and they still didn't know what to do themselves. Gee, thanks, use an interview question as a brainstorming session why don't you. Thought it was a bit unprofessional personally.



Did you go away and write this? 

Here are Google, Amazon and Facebook's Secrets to Hiring the Best People | The Cooper Review

(See point 5 - probably don't bother with the rest, it's not as funny as it thinks it is...)


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## kabbes (Sep 8, 2017)

Jon-of-arc said:


> Did you go away and write this?
> 
> Here are Google, Amazon and Facebook's Secrets to Hiring the Best People | The Cooper Review
> 
> (See point 5 - probably don't bother with the rest, it's not as funny as it thinks it is...)


Point 5 is exactly what I did in my last round of interviews.  I even told them that if they came up with an answer that was good enough, I'd use it.


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## hash tag (Sep 9, 2017)

On a similar vein; in Liars Poker (about Salomon's) Michael Lewis recounts how on the 30th floor (or howvere high), HR did their interviews. They were often asked to open the (sealed) window and the interviewer used to watch to see how long someone would struggle to open a sealed window.
One day, a person was asked to open the window, quickly found he couldn't so picked up a chair and threw it through the window.


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## stuff_it (Sep 11, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> Had an interview today that I think went ok but I've never had so many evil and ridiculous questions. The worst was 'tell us about your interests outside of work....what do you do when you leave the workplace....and how does this help you in your job'. Thankfully I managed to come up with something sensible but honestly, what a stupid question.
> Other evil questions included 'what would your partner or friends say about you if we asked them' and 'tell us your greatest weakness'. Luckily I was able to think of something other than chocolate.


There should be a version of this thread where we all have to answer the questions people post.


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## stuff_it (Sep 11, 2017)

weltweit said:


> I was once asked what my greatest achievement was. It was during a time in the interview when they were asking more personal questions so I said I have two, one work related and the other bringing up my son. It transpired the family one was what they were hoping to hear.
> 
> During that interview they asked a lot of quite silly questions, what was the last book you read? and things like that ...


Last book? 

Clearly you should answer The Prince, unless the interview is for a public sector role, and then it's The Trial.


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## stuff_it (Sep 11, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> Not a question as such but the biggest bellend I've ever been interviewed by.
> 
> The interview was due to take place in the coffee shop area of a hotel as they often are in my line of work.  The normal deal is you arrive and call them and find each other.  This one guy got in a huff because I did this and hadn't recognised him, we'd never met but apparently I should have looked him up on Linked-In and memorised everything about him.
> 
> I have no idea what he thought of me after that as I told the recruitment agent I wasn't interested.


I didn't think MI5 used agencies.


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## stuff_it (Sep 19, 2017)

Just heading in to what I suspect will be a competency based interview. What are your biggest successes was one of the application questions. I didn't write an application, it seems they're desperate to hire some so I got the interview via an agency.

I'm not sure I have any successes in the area the job is in...


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## friendofdorothy (Sep 19, 2017)

stuff_it said:


> Just heading in to what I suspect will be a competency based interview. What are your biggest successes was one of the application questions. I didn't write an application, it seems they're desperate to hire some so I got the interview via an agency.
> 
> I'm not sure I have any successes in the area the job is in...


I'd hate the 'success' question. How are we measuring success - with money, awards?  neither apply to my work. No idea what to say that any employer would want to hear. 'I helped organise a parade of 40,000 queer people' I'm loved' or 'I'm still alive' ?

or indeed the 'biggest failure' question - that sounds even worse.  

Actually if any employer asked either question I don't think I want to work for them.

Anyway good luck stuff_it hope it went well.


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## DJWrongspeed (Sep 19, 2017)

Often an HR dept will want to know what your asking candidates so that everyone is asked the same. 'Ridiculous Evil Questions' ought to be filtered out by that process. If not then really they're just exhibiting the willful creativity of the manager.

Most jobs are really about your competencies and ought to come out of the standard 30 interview questions. Obviously secondary questions can follow with more nuance.


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## Puddy_Tat (Sep 19, 2017)

stuff_it said:


> I'm not sure I have any successes in the area the job is in...



hope it went well

may be late for this occasion, but with competency based stuff, skills / experience / achievements outside paid work can sometimes be relevant, e.g. caring responsibilities, voluntary work, study and so on.  

depends how job specific they are looking for...



friendofdorothy said:


> or 'I'm still alive' ?


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## KatyF (Sep 20, 2017)

The one I get every single time is "So tell me what you know about the company".

I hate it. Mind you, I once didn't get a job as they'd seen on Twitter that I said I didnt like that question and took it personally. Like they were the only company to ask it.

The other one is after they ask my interests and I say live music and comedy, they go straight for "oh who is your favourite comedian". Now depending on how the interview is going and whether I'm interested in the job will depend on how I answer that. One guy made me keep going until I named someone he'd heard of.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 12, 2017)




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## Teaboy (Oct 12, 2017)

KatyF said:


> The one I get every single time is "So tell me what you know about the company".
> 
> I hate it. Mind you, I once didn't get a job as they'd seen on Twitter that I said I didnt like that question and took it personally. Like they were the only company to ask it.



In fairness that is an absolute standard interview question that you should always have a response ready for. You should always do your research on the company / institution you are applying for a role with.

It doesn't look great if you are applying to work for a company you don't know anything about.


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## Fruitloop (Oct 12, 2017)




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## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 12, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> In fairness that is an absolute standard interview question that you should always have a response ready for. You should always do your research on the company / institution you are applying for a role with.
> 
> It doesn't look great if you are applying to work for a company you don't know anything about.




When I was 18 went for a job at Innovations (the people who did them Sunday supplements of gadgets), they had a store in Richmond and went for a job; trouble was I didn’t check what it was for, (salesman), and got really stoned before I went. At one point he asked me how I’d sell some old bit of rubbish to a customer and all I could do was shrug at him, I had no idea what the thing was and couldn’t even raise the enthusiasm to have a stab at the bullshit.

Didn’t get the job.


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## Teaboy (Oct 13, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> When I was 18 went for a job at Innovations (the people who did them Sunday supplements of gadgets), they had a store in Richmond and went for a job; trouble was I didn’t check what it was for, (salesman), and got really stoned before I went. At one point he asked me how I’d sell some old bit of rubbish to a customer and all I could do was shrug at him, I had no idea what the thing was and couldn’t even raise the enthusiasm to have a stab at the bullshit.
> 
> Didn’t get the job.



Ah the old classic sales interview question: 'Sell me this stapler / hole punch / calculator etc'.  

An absolute crock of shit which has absolutely zero relevance to being successful in the vast majority of sales jobs.*  Normally the go to interview question for fat old man who spent most of their sales career brow beating house wives into buying vacuum cleaners on their doorsteps (just to make him go away) in the 70's and 80's.



*It has got Alan Sugar 13 series though in fairness.


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## Supine (Oct 13, 2017)

"what three words would your mum use to describe you?"

I asked my mum, she didn't know


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## Teaboy (Oct 13, 2017)

_A genuine accident_


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## smmudge (Oct 13, 2017)

"Describe a time you went above and beyond/exceeded expectations"

Four years later I still can't think of an answer for that.


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## Teaboy (Oct 13, 2017)

_This one time at band camp.............
_
In all honesty though that's a terrible interview question, just terrible.


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## existentialist (Oct 15, 2017)

smmudge said:


> "Describe a time you went above and beyond/exceeded expectations"
> 
> Four years later I still can't think of an answer for that.


I'd want to know whose expectations, just for a start. If it was my own, then getting into work on time most mornings would count, though this wouldn't score many interview points...


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## a_chap (Oct 15, 2017)

Given that, after 20 years and at the end of this year, I'm being made redundant this thread is filling me with a mixture of dread and hilarity.

I suspect that, as an interviewee, my technique is likely to be, er, _a bit unusual_.


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## Puddy_Tat (Oct 15, 2017)

a_chap said:


> Given that, after 20 years and at the end of this year, I'm being made redundant this thread is filling me with a mixture of dread and hilarity.
> 
> I suspect that, as an interviewee, my technique is likely to be, er, _a bit unusual_.





at the risk of telling you stuff you already know, CAB advice about redundancy here

national careers service here - they offer advice to all ages, not like the old 'careers service' that used to be aimed at school leavers.  some employers who are working towards a lot of redundancies will get NCS people in to talk to staff before the redundancies happen.

i think you're allowed some time off current job for job hunting during the notice period, although you need to watch that you don't get in to a position where you need to leave old job too early to get redundancy payment (i'm not quite sure what the law is - one place i worked that was closing down, you could leave within the last 4 weeks and still get redundancy pay, but i'm not sure if this is law, or it's something negotiated locally.)

and urban job hunting thread here


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