# Has the Queen died?



## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Would they tell us with just a few days left of the consumer fest?

So...the evidence?

The "previously planned" road closures around Buckingham Palace (to deal with 'terrorist threat'
30 Charities handed over to the other members of the RF
Both Brenda & Phil reported as having "heavy head colds"
The last minute cancellation train trip to Sandringham
Charles Windsor on R4 'Today' "thought for the day" bigging up his Xtian/defender of _*the *_faith credentials today.
Helicopter trip to Sandringham...no actual images of the monarch.
What do we reckon Urban?
Croaked/not croaked?


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## emanymton (Dec 22, 2016)

Fingers crossed.


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## killer b (Dec 22, 2016)

Nah, it's 2016. They're only taking them from our team this year.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

Good conspiracy!

Why would they hide it? And when til? After the Christmas Broadcast? After the NY honours list?


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

Gets it out of the way, I guess. Wish they'd just announce it now. That way I can endure Christmas and Brenda's death in one go.


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Good conspiracy!
> 
> Why would they hide it? And when til? After the Christmas Broadcast? After the NY honours list?


On ice till the sales are over?


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## jakethesnake (Dec 22, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Would they tell us with just a few days left of the consumer fest?
> 
> So...the evidence?
> 
> ...


nice.... this is going on face book


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## pengaleng (Dec 22, 2016)

it'd fuck up the BBC christmas tv schedule


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## kenny g (Dec 22, 2016)

She probably has pneumonia and is definitely on the way out soon. Not a bad way to go if that is the case. Happened to my granddad in a couple of days. You get to a certain age when the body just can't be arsed anymore.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

brogdale said:


> On ice till the sales are over?


Ooh! Royal Funeral On Ice!

Robin Cousins must be working overtime to get the production ready.


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

Second thoughts. I want one day off work _at least_ when this happens. They'll just steal boxing day or something if she dies now.


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

jakethesnake said:


> nice.... this is going on face book


tweet it too.


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

kenny g said:


> She probably has pneumonia and is definitely on the way out soon. Not a bad way to go if that is the case. Happened to my granddad in a couple of days. You get to a certain age when the body just can't be arsed anymore.


tbh, faced with having to host POTUS Trump, it makes sense to shuffle off.


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

pengaleng said:


> it'd fuck up the BBC christmas tv schedule



£10 says she'll be on the Beeb 3 o'clock on Sunday


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> £10 says she'll be on the Beeb 3 o'clock on Sunday


But will her lips be moving?


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> £10 says she'll be on the Beeb 3 o'clock on Sunday


If she's died, she'll be on the beeb all fucking day on Sunday.


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## kenny g (Dec 22, 2016)

But will Farage be invited to the funeral??


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> £10 says she'll be on the Beeb 3 o'clock on Sunday



And how would you know it wasn't a recording from last years guff?


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> But will her lips be moving?


It's amazing what they can do with cgi


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> But will her lips be moving?




> A spokesman would only confirm that _*the couple had left Buckingham Palace*_. A spokeswoman *declined to comment further when asked about the health of the Queen and the duke.*
> 
> Earlier, a spokeswoman *confirmed that the Queen’s Christmas message would be broadcast as usual at 3pm on Christmas Day. “It is recorded some time in advance,”* the spokeswoman said.


Helicopter flies royals to Sandringham as illness changes travel plans​


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> It's amazing what they can do with cgi


CorGIes.


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## emanymton (Dec 22, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Helicopter flies royals to Sandringham as illness changes travel plans​


Key point



> It is recorded some time in advance


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## emanymton (Dec 22, 2016)

Come on, let me end the year on a high note!


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Ooh! Royal Funeral On Ice!
> 
> Robin Cousins must be working overtime to get the production ready.


Royal grave digger earlier today.


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> And how would you know it wasn't a recording from last years guff?



Cos (a) she recorded this years in October, and if she had less than 3 days to live they wouldn't have whacked her in a helicopter.


proper speculation starts Xmas day if she doesn't go to church in Sandringham.


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## Argonia (Dec 22, 2016)

The queen is dead, boys


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> Cos (a) she recorded this years in October, and if she had less than 3 days to live they wouldn't have whacked her in a helicopter..


ah but they might if she and phillie were already dead.


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> Cos (a) she recorded this years in October, and if she had less than 3 days to live they wouldn't have whacked her in a helicopter.
> 
> 
> proper speculation starts Xmas day if she doesn't go to church in Sandringham.


The proper speculation starts today; no-show at the church = _dead-cert!_


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> Cos (a) she recorded this years in October



So they say. It's the same speech year in year out. Bit of photoshopping to change dress colour ftw.


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> ah but they might if she and phillie were already dead.



Then they'd of got Queen's flight to do it ,  not a charter they can't threaten with 10 years in the stockade


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

*SICK ANARCHIST WEBSITE PLANS ROYAL FUNERAL ICE SHOW
*


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

Am I ruining the preXmas entertainment?


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> *SICK ANARCHIST WEBSITE PLANS ROYAL FUNERAL ICE SHOW*


"_Fury as..._"


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> *SICK ANARCHIST WEBSITE PLANS ROYAL FUNERAL ICE SHOW*


Get Torville and Dean out of retirement and make them skate


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

Argonia said:


> The queen is dead, boys



Nowt on twitter


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## Bernie Gunther (Dec 22, 2016)

Animatronic taxidermy ... who'd notice ... ?


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Nowt on twitter


Get it on there now!


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

Have princesses eugenie and beatrice do cheerleading


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Nowt on twitter


You will have heard it here first. 

*beams*


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Get it on there now!



On it!


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

Bernie Gunther said:


> Animatronic taxidermy ... who'd notice ... ?


The butler. Later tonight.


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

#Queen


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

We could have a game of that auld English sport, pooh coffins, where we chuck Elizabeth's and philip's coffins off the west side of Westminster Bridge and see which reaches the other side first


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> #Queen



Seems that's the band hashtag


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Seems that's the band hashtag


#deadqueen


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Seems that's the band hashtag


If the palace have to issue an official denial Urban wins!


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)




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## lazythursday (Dec 22, 2016)

If she dies now most people will just get on with the festive season and won't mourn appropriately. People will be irate if they cancel Xmas bake off or whatever. Much safer for them to announce early in the new year.


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

#HRHTheQueen - that's better!


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

lazythursday said:


> If she dies now most people will just get on with the festive season and won't mourn appropriately. People will be irate if they cancel Xmas bake off or whatever. Much safer for them to announce early in the new year.


And I want a week off. To mourn and that. In Tenerife possibly.


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## kenny g (Dec 22, 2016)

Probably will be held off until late March to give an excuse for a delayed Brexit. Expect multiple excuses for her non appearance and then a formal year of prolonged mourning.


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

If C4 make a programme alteration for 10pm tomorrow....


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

lazythursday said:


> If she dies now most people will just get on with the festive season and won't mourn appropriately. People will be irate if they cancel Xmas bake off or whatever. Much safer for them to announce early in the new year.


Perhaps they'll keep her on a ventilator till they've cleared the celebratory debris from trafalgar sq


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

lazythursday said:


> If she dies now most people will just get on with the festive season and won't mourn appropriately. People will be irate if they cancel Xmas bake off or whatever. Much safer for them to announce early in the new year.



once they've made the commemorative plates.


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> once they've made the commemorative plates.


And t-shirts


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

mugs..


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> mugs..


Yeh, fucking royalists buying all that shit tat, mugs the lot of them


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## kenny g (Dec 22, 2016)

Queen Elizabeth II dead 2016 : Monarch killed by celebrity death hoax - Mediamass


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

I fucking hate tat the best of times, but Royalist tat?


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

kenny g said:


> Queen Elizabeth II dead 2016 : Monarch killed by celebrity death hoax - Mediamass



Delete that post!


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## oryx (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Nowt on twitter



Bloody hell, I read that as 'Now on twitter'!


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## Mr.Bishie (Dec 22, 2016)

oryx said:


> Bloody hell, I read that as 'Now on twitter'!



Wishful thinking comrade, wishful...


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> On it!


How's it going? Any news agencies sending you private messages yet?


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

Does she get two death day,s like she does with birthdays?


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

oryx said:


> Bloody hell, I read that as 'Now on twitter'!


Get to work on it!


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

oryx said:


> Bloody hell, I read that as 'Now on twitter'!


If it ain't on twitter put it up, put it up


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> Does she get two death day,s like she does with birthdays?


Yeh we could revive her the first time but not the second


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## Sprocket. (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> Does she get two death day,s like she does with birthdays?



As in the actual day and the official one when they tell us six weeks later?


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## oryx (Dec 22, 2016)

I'm not on Twitter 

and have no intention of being


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

Where is Badgers when the country needs him


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> Does she get two death day,s like she does with birthdays?


Yes. The Ice Show funeral. And after three months, the Giant Microwave on Defrost.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

oryx said:


> I'm not on Twitter
> 
> and have no intention of being


I'll give you Brogdale's log in.


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

Sprocket. said:


> As in the actual day and the official one when they tell us six weeks later?


 seven years.....tax reasons


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> I'll give you Brogdale's log in.


Everyone's got brogdale's login


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Everyone's got brogdale's login


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## Sprocket. (Dec 22, 2016)

gosub said:


> seven years.....tax reasons



We have to wait seven years for two days off? One for the funeral and one for chuckles coronation!


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

The royals must pay inheritance tax


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

Sprocket. said:


> We have to wait seven years for two days off? One for the funeral and one for chuckles coronation!


Is that all we get? 

Such disrespect.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)




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## gosub (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> The royals must pay inheritance tax



be an interesting dilemma for Charlie boy...take the crown now or wait seven years for the money


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## Sprocket. (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> The royals must pay inheritance tax



They could use the dosh to pay off the Article 50 debts!


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## farmerbarleymow (Dec 22, 2016)

Hope so - she's on my celebrity death list.  

And Phil too I think.


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## pengaleng (Dec 22, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> And Phil too I think.




collins or mitchell?


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

pengaleng said:


> collins or mitchell?


Schofield.


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## oryx (Dec 22, 2016)




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## DotCommunist (Dec 22, 2016)

finally Diana has had her vengeance from beyond the grave...or has she?


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Odd wording from the state broadcaster....



> _*The nature of their recovery will be in evidence the next day when the dedicated tend to gather at Sandringham for a glimpse of the Windsors going to church.*_


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

oryx said:


>


Reminds me of Xmas day 1989.


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## farmerbarleymow (Dec 22, 2016)

oryx said:


>



Obviously just lowering the flag to half mast.


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## J Ed (Dec 22, 2016)

who gives a fuck


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

J Ed said:


> who gives a fuck


The butler. Later tonight.


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## SaskiaJayne (Dec 22, 2016)

Very much alive. 90 is no age for anybody that has done fuck all all their lives & employs a woman to place a sterile bog seat protector on the seat before use.


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## abe11825 (Dec 22, 2016)

emanymton said:


> Come on, let me end the year on a high note!



Ok... so people are _positive_ the Queen has shat the bed... how's that for ending the year on a high note? 

Since America will be preparing for World Ware III come Inauguration Day, what's to say that the Queen's departure won't be the spark of the war? Somehow I predict President Elect Wig will get his hacking comrades to make it so. 

I have some aluminum foil if anyone needs to mend their hats....


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

abe11825 said:


> Since America will be preparing for World Ware III come Inauguration Day, what's to say that the Queen's departure won't be the spark of the war?


Much as I'm enjoying the thread, I'm not really following that...


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## discokermit (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Get Torville and Dean out of retirement and make them skate


they busy


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

abe11825 said:


> Ok... so people are _positive_ the Queen has shat the bed... how's that for ending the year on a high note?
> 
> Since America will be preparing for World Ware III come Inauguration Day, what's to say that the Queen's departure won't be the spark of the war? Somehow I predict President Elect Wig will get his hacking comrades to make it so.
> 
> I have some aluminum foil if anyone needs to mend their hats....


In Britain we make our hats from tin foil  not "aluminum", whatever that is


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## DotCommunist (Dec 22, 2016)

they'll have to put a new head on all those plastic fivers.


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## 2hats (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 97639


Apparently that helicopter was heading to Switzerland.


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## tim (Dec 22, 2016)

J Ed said:


> who gives a fuck



The Royal Mint who are introducing a new, twelve-sided, bimetalic pound coin next March to replace all those currently in circulation. Millions of these have, apparently, already been minted, and would have to be scrapped should Lilibet expire before they are issued. Logistics therefore dictate that she cannot die until the Spring.


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## tim (Dec 22, 2016)

oryx said:


>


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> In Britain we make our hats from tin foil  not "aluminum", whatever that is


Talking of hats...what's this, then?






Halloween hat!


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## moochedit (Dec 22, 2016)

DotCommunist said:


> they'll have to put a new head on all those plastic fivers.



Have they started printing the veggie fivers yet?


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## moochedit (Dec 22, 2016)

Has anyone done a website yet like the isthatcherdead one?


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## Fez909 (Dec 22, 2016)

The Queen has, indeed, died.

As she has many times before, and will die many more times, too.

She may take a new form after her latest death, but it's likely she'll retain her current 'skin' due to the geopolitical advantages it offers her species to be in such a powerful, yet seemingly unthreatening, position.

The hands are the tell-tale sign of a recent shedding and/or transmogrification. Look for a limp left index finger, which may be accompanied by tremors.


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## TheHoodedClaw (Dec 22, 2016)

tim said:


> The Royal Mint who are introducing a new, twelve-sided, bimetalic pound coin next March to replace all those currently in circulation. Millions of these have, apparently, already been minted, and would have to be scrapped should Lilibet expire before they are issued.



No they wouldn't. George VI two-shilling pieces were still in circulation until they downsized the 10p piece in the early 1990s, for example.


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## moochedit (Dec 22, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> And I want a week off. To mourn and that. In Tenerife possibly.



I will need at least a month to get over it. And the pubs need to be open so i can drown my sorrows.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

moochedit said:


> I will need at least a month to get over it. And the pubs need to be open so i can drown my sorrows.


State to provide free beer. By selling the palaces.


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

moochedit said:


> I will need at least a month to get over it. And the pubs need to be open so i can drown my sorrows.


And back to 1952 prices


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## DotCommunist (Dec 22, 2016)

an entire generation when singing the only bit of the anthem they know will be going 'god save our gracious qu-king'


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## Kaka Tim (Dec 22, 2016)

SaskiaJayne said:


> employs a woman to place a sterile bog seat protector on the seat before use.



oh - doesn't everybody do this?


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

DotCommunist said:


> an entire generation when singing the only bit of the anthem they know will be going 'god save our gracious qu-king'


It's a fascist régi-ing!


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

Buckingham palace report "the queen has left the palace". We all know what that means, fucking weeks of mourning, back to victorian black dresses, Prince Harry will commit ritual sudoku suicide, London will be draped in black cloth, good times ahead for goths...


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## Yuwipi Woman (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Buckingham palace report "the queen has left the palace". We all know what that means, fucking weeks of mourning, back to victorian black dresses, Prince Harry will commit ritual sudoku suicide, London will be draped in black cloth, good times ahead for goths...





Oh, the horror!  Not sudoku!


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## moochedit (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Buckingham palace report "the queen has left the palace". We all know what that means, fucking weeks of mourning, back to victorian black dresses, Prince Harry will commit ritual sudoku suicide, London will be draped in black cloth, good times ahead for goths...



North korean style mass weeping?


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

It was of course a cold that did for the queen mum


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

moochedit said:


> North korean style mass weeping?


Begins with w...


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> It was of course a cold that did for the queen mum


On top of the gin, you mean?


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## J Ed (Dec 22, 2016)

It's like with Franco


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## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2016)

brogdale said:


> On top of the gin, you mean?


The gin fuelled her after her last meal, a pate sandwich, which she ate in 1967


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## not a trot (Dec 22, 2016)

If she has croaked it those Christmas puddings she hands out to her flunkies will be selling for a small fortune on Ebay.


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Begins with w...


Led by the butler?


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Only third?
Come on Urban...


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Led by the butler?


Wassailing needs a leader?


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## OneStrike (Dec 22, 2016)

Is it a national day of mourning tomorrow (do I need to get up for work?)  I'll take the first response as a binding fact.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

OneStrike said:


> Is it a national day of mourning tomorrow (do I need to get up for work?)  I'll take the first response as a binding fact.


Yes.


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Wassailing needs a leader?


Lots of things starting with w don't need a leader. But sometimes encouragement is needed to overcome the shyness.


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## Yuwipi Woman (Dec 22, 2016)

not a trot said:


> If she has croaked it those Christmas puddings she hands out to her flunkies will be selling for a small fortune on Ebay.



You'd think there'd be enough "Mrs. Bucket"s out there to pump up the price in a normal year.


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## moochedit (Dec 22, 2016)

OneStrike said:


> Is it a national day of mourning tomorrow (do I need to get up for work?)  I'll take the first response as a binding fact.



If you attempt to go into work tommorow you will be arested for treason. Make sure you only wear black and are sobbing uncontrolably if you leave the house.


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## OneStrike (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Yes.



She died so I can live, r.i


moochedit said:


> If you attempt to go into work tommorow you will be arested for treason. Make sure you only wear black and are sobbing uncontrolably if you leave the house.


I've got the day off, but i'll be wailing uncontrollably, flirting between manic laughter and sobbing.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 22, 2016)

OneStrike said:


> i'll be ... uncontrollably, flirting


tell me about it. It's the port.


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## Casually Red (Dec 22, 2016)

You do realise there'll be a long running and bloody civil war as Big Ears and wotsisface and their supporters vie for the throne ?
That the cubscouts and boys brigade will most likely annihilate each other in a big field in Wessex ?


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## kenny g (Dec 22, 2016)

BREAKING NEWS: Queen Elizabeth II is Dead


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## littlebabyjesus (Dec 22, 2016)

Casually Red said:


> You do realise there'll be a long running and bloody civil war as Big Ears and wotsisface and their supporters vie for the throne ?
> That the cubscouts and boys brigade will most likely annihilate each other in a big field in Wessex ?


Meanwhile, the Woodcraft Folk will leave the forests and take over London.


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## abe11825 (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Much as I'm enjoying the thread, I'm not really following that...



Typo on my part - should have been "World War III". Some people think that once Trump gets in office, there's going to be a full on war happening. 



Pickman's model said:


> In Britain we make our hats from tin foil  not "aluminum", whatever that is



"Aluminum" foil... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




But if you want to call it tin foil, I have no complaints.


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## bluescreen (Dec 22, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> #HRHTheQueen - that's better!


#*HMTheQueen *- she's the only HM at the moment* since HMtQM popped her clogs. 

*at least, she _was_


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## Supine (Dec 22, 2016)

I'm happy to cover the speech on Sunday if needed. Just sayin.


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## Supine (Dec 22, 2016)

I just fb'd a rip the queen update. For the lols.


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## Orang Utan (Dec 22, 2016)

She's not dead, she's just shedding her skin


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## brogdale (Dec 22, 2016)

Latest pic of that helicopter taking off....


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## Wilf (Dec 22, 2016)

Do they bury Phil the Greek with her in an underground tomb, along with her favourite corgis?


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## Casually Red (Dec 22, 2016)

Wilf said:


> Do they bury Phil the Greek with her in an underground tomb, along with her favourite corgis?



Do they not all go onto a big pyre with her ? Tribute to the raj .


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## moochedit (Dec 22, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 97639



Maybe its a murder/suicide?


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## moochedit (Dec 22, 2016)

Have any of you tweeted david icke yet? He'll get to the bottom of this.


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## Sprocket. (Dec 22, 2016)

Casually Red said:


> Do they not all go onto a big pyre with her ? Tribute to the raj .



Not since she signed The Clean Air Act (1968) off.


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## tim (Dec 23, 2016)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> No they wouldn't. George VI two-shilling pieces were still in circulation until they downsized the 10p piece in the early 1990s, for example.



Yes, and when I was very young there were still Queen Victoria pennies in circulation. However, these were issued whilst the monarch in question was still alive. If Liz dies in 2016, they can't issue coins with her face on dated 2017.

For example, this Edward the Eighth Sovereign which somehow slipped out of the clutches of the Royal Mint fetched half a million at auction because it is dated 1937 by which time he had abdicated.






Coins were minted bearing his image, but nearly all were melted down, as would be the case with the new pound coins


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## tim (Dec 23, 2016)

abe11825 said:


> Typo on my part - should have been "World War III". Some people think that once Trump gets in office, there's going to be a full on war happening.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





abe11825 said:


> Typo on my part - should have been "World War III". Some people think that once Trump gets in office, there's going to be a full on war happening.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




You say aluminum, I say aluminium.
Let's call the whole thing off and fantasise about regicide instead.

Or should that fantasize, or phantasise.


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Dec 23, 2016)

tim said:


> Coins were minted bearing his image, but nearly all were melted down, as would be the case with the new pound coins



All that were made were patterns and trial pieces, hence the value


----------



## tim (Dec 23, 2016)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> All that were made were patterns and trial pieces, hence the value



Yes, but in he case if the new style 2017 pound coin they've been producing them an stockpiling them in vast quantities (4,000 a minute since last March according to the Daily Mirror), so having to scrap them would be rather wasteful.

6 tiny details that reveal how the new £1 coin is the world's most secure

Little film on why the new coin is the best thin since Pieces of Eight.


----------



## DotCommunist (Dec 23, 2016)

note how they introduce an edged bin lid just at the economic lowpoint that means nobody will sharpen them as use for throwing at enemies.


----------



## Epona (Dec 23, 2016)

I think she's actually been dead for years, and they've just been wheeling out a wax model occasionally.

If she *had* died and they had put off announcing it, it would be under the misapprehension that everyone worships the royalty and it might ruin their christmas.  I am happy to say that I don't really give a flying fuck.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 23, 2016)

Epona said:


> I think she's actually been dead for years, and they've just been wheeling out a wax model occasionally.
> 
> If she *had* died and they had put off announcing it, it would be under the misapprehension that everyone worships the royalty and it might ruin their christmas.  I am happy to say that I don't really give a flying fuck.



She's an animatronic doll.  It can't be that hard to make a reptile-like doll that waves vaguely convincingly - and they had loads of practice with her mother.


----------



## redcogs (Dec 23, 2016)

i've only ever been abroad once in my life, on a package thing to Portugal. Fortunately god, in his/her infinite wisdom chose exactly that moment to take the queen's mother up into the great big celestial realm, presumably to sit at his/her immediate side, so that they could together plot the future course of world events (two heads are obviously better than one when it comes to sorting out the complexities of endless geopolitical warfare).

Unfortunately, until my return to the UK i was ignorant of the tragedy, and completely missed the national state of grief turmoil and mourning that had ensued. 

Oh to be once again slugging copious quantities of cheepo el vino on the Albufeiran sea front.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 23, 2016)

Strange coincidence

22nd December 1989 a dictatorial parasite leaves palace by helicopter







22nd December 2016 a dictatorial parasite leaves palace by helicopter







only one of these trips ended well.

ETA, I now realise that someone else did this a few pages back


----------



## brogdale (Dec 23, 2016)

Becoming troublesome?
Hmm...might have been the polonium high tea?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

redcogs said:


> i've only ever been abroad once in my life, on a package thing to Portugal. Fortunately god, in his/her infinite wisdom chose exactly that moment to take the queen's mother up into the great big celestial realm, presumably to sit at his/her immediate side, so that they could together plot the future course of world events (two heads are obviously better than one when it comes to sorting out the complexities of endless geopolitical warfare).
> 
> Unfortunately, until my return to the UK i was ignorant of the tragedy, and completely missed the national state of grief turmoil and mourning that had ensued.
> 
> Oh to be once again slugging copious quantities of cheepo el vino on the Albufeiran sea front.


we will crowdfund a trip to portugal for you if you can guarantee that in your absence the queen will die


----------



## brogdale (Dec 23, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> we will crowdfund a trip to portugal for you if you can guarantee that in your absence the queen will die


Waste of £...it's happened already.
When was she last seen in public, eh?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Waste of £...it's happened already.
> When was she last seen in public, eh?


i'm talking about kate.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 23, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> i'm talking about kate.


QueenCam dead as well?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

brogdale said:


> QueenCam dead as well?


dead for years, brogdale, she's been dead for years.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 23, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> dead for years, brogdale, she's been dead for years.


----------



## Idris2002 (Dec 23, 2016)

To give her her due, she hated Thatcher.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

Idris2002 said:


> To give her her due, she hated Thatcher.


because she was 'common' i suppose


----------



## redcogs (Dec 23, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> we will crowdfund a trip to portugal for you if you can guarantee that in your absence the queen will die



Would this kind offer perhaps extend to a permanent shift - along the lines of my favourite daytime tv, a 'home in the summer sun'?

i could guarantee not to return until her majesty's demise (assuming this 65 yr old remains extant)..

im getting quite excited about the prospect of the next 10 -15 years on the Algarve,  maybe the golf handicap will tumble somewhat?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

redcogs said:


> Would this kind offer perhaps extend to a permanent shift - along the lines of my favourite daytime tv, a 'home in the summer sun'?
> 
> i could guarantee not to return until her majesty's demise (assuming this 65 yr old remains extant)..
> 
> im getting quite excited about the prospect of the next 10 -15 years on the Algarve,  maybe the golf handicap will tumble somewhat?


i've had a word with potential sponsors and the consensus is that you could have a blanket to sleep under on the beach and some chips every other day but that the main effort should be concentrated on raising funds for you to travel one way by easy jet or some other cheap form of transport.


----------



## redcogs (Dec 23, 2016)

Idris2002 said:


> To give her her due, she hated Thatcher.



The saxe coburge gotha instincts were not all misguided then.


----------



## redcogs (Dec 23, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> i've had a word with potential sponsors and the consensus is that you could have a blanket to sleep under on the beach and some chips every other day but that the main effort should be concentrated on raising funds for you to travel one way by easy jet or some other cheap form of transport.



Urban generosity has great renown.  

i was rather hoping for a delightful elevated house with rooftop garden and pool, nearby to a spectacularly good seafood restraunt.  You will appreciate that a blanket with a few chips every now and then might be a little disappointing?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

redcogs said:


> Urban generosity has great renown.
> 
> i was rather hoping for a delightful elevated house with rooftop garden and pool, nearby to a spectacularly good seafood restraunt.  You will appreciate that a blanket with a few chips every now and then might be a little disappointing?


yeh. but the feeling was that it was your absence which might assist in their demise, and not your comfort during your sojourn abroad.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 23, 2016)

Tis a noble cause. You should look upon this as your duty rather than bleating about the absence of flunkeys, complimentary tea and coffee making facilities and fluffy dressing gowns.


----------



## redcogs (Dec 23, 2016)

You have considered that Elizabeth may be replaced?

i, on the other hand, will not.

Thats the trouble today.  No bleedin respect.


----------



## abe11825 (Dec 23, 2016)

This:


Orang Utan said:


> She's not dead, she's just shedding her skin



This:


moochedit said:


> Have any of you tweeted david icke yet? He'll get to the bottom of this.



And This:


farmerbarleymow said:


> She's an animatronic doll.  _It can't be that hard to make a* reptile-like *doll _that waves vaguely convincingly - and they had loads of practice with her mother.



 Yes. I was actually waiting for someone to call Icke out when I saw Orang Utan 's post. 



tim said:


> You say aluminum, I say aluminium.
> Let's call the whole thing off and fantasise about regicide instead.
> 
> Or should that fantasize, or phantasise.



Agreed!


----------



## tim (Dec 23, 2016)

Calling Icke out






What a disapointing climax to a panto that was


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 23, 2016)

This was a good caption in the guardian - the expressions are perfect.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 23, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> This was a good caption in the guardian - the expressions are perfect.
> 
> View attachment 97689




This was the joke inside the cracker!


----------



## Stanley Edwards (Dec 23, 2016)

She has been very quiet recently.

Can someone give her a call and check if she's OK?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 23, 2016)

She did not go gentle into the night. And Charles has the bruises to prove it.


----------



## abe11825 (Dec 24, 2016)

^^
Oh damn... 

More proof she's not as frail as people think? She's a spry and wiry woman who'll knock you on your arse if you blink the wrong way.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Dec 24, 2016)

Prince Charles shows festive spirit by destroying care home's meagre tree decorations.


----------



## hash tag (Dec 24, 2016)




----------



## brogdale (Dec 24, 2016)

OK, then; odds on Brenda appearing tomorrow for the adulation of the rural half-wits at Sandringham?


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 24, 2016)

brogdale said:


> OK, then; odds on Brenda appearing tomorrow for the adulation of the rural half-wits at Sandringham?



Rural half-wits? Aren't most of them from New York and Sydney?


----------



## brogdale (Dec 24, 2016)

bi0boy said:


> Rural half-wits? Aren't most of them from New York and Sydney?


Alright...global half-wits, then.


----------



## J Ed (Dec 25, 2016)

Urbz made it happen!

Queen too ill to attend Christmas Day church service


----------



## magneze (Dec 25, 2016)

^ Beat me to it!


----------



## Gerry1time (Dec 25, 2016)

ZOMG THE QUUEN IS DED PROBLY!


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 25, 2016)




----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

Opinion from my mum: they wouldn't be able to keep Betty's death quiet, but might well do it for Phil.


----------



## magneze (Dec 25, 2016)

The Queen has two birthdays, is it possible that the same works for death?


----------



## J Ed (Dec 25, 2016)

magneze said:


> The Queen has two birthdays, is it possible that the same works for death?



Lizards only die once


----------



## moochedit (Dec 25, 2016)

magneze said:


> ^ Beat me to it!



And me


----------



## moochedit (Dec 25, 2016)

I bet m15 will be raiding the urban office and taking the server away any min now.


----------



## mauvais (Dec 25, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Lizards only die once


The low point of the Bond franchise there.


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 25, 2016)

What time is the service? Perhaps the duke will let slip something live on air.

"How are you feeling sir?"
"Like a widower lol"


----------



## J Ed (Dec 25, 2016)

If she actually dies it will be a great Christmas prezzie


----------



## moochedit (Dec 25, 2016)

bi0boy said:


> What time is the service? Perhaps the duke will let slip something live on air.
> 
> "How are you feeling sir?"
> "Like a widower lol"



Is he going then?  Thought he was "ill" as well?


----------



## SaskiaJayne (Dec 25, 2016)

I think we are being softened up here. To be just brutally informed that her madge has croaked would be too much for the British public to bear. We don't want folk writhing in the streets wailing, gnashing their teeth, renting their clothes & cutting themselves with knives. This will be the biggest royal death since Diana & we obviously don't want a repeat of that debacle. The Facebook generation were just toddlers then. Imagine if that had been social media driven? It don't bear thinking about.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 25, 2016)

SaskiaJayne said:


> I think we are being softened up here. To be just brutally informed that her madge has croaked would be too much for the British public to bear. We don't want folk writhing in the streets renting their clothes & cutting themselves with knives. This will be the biggest royal death since Diana & we obviously don't want a repeat of that debacle. The Facebook generation were just toddlers then. Imagine if that had been social media driven? It don't bear thinking about.


The announcement could be 'The Queen has gone to live on a farm in Wales, living an idyllic life chasing rabbits'.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 25, 2016)

She isnt well is she ?  This could fuck up the Xmas telly schedule


----------



## Dan U (Dec 25, 2016)

If she does pop her clogs its gonna be interesting watching all the right wing libertarian anti establishment types tie themselves up in knots about it. 

Some will be honest and call for a republic but most will just go mad


----------



## oryx (Dec 25, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> The announcement could be 'The Queen has gone to live on a farm in Wales, living an idyllic life chasing rabbits'.


----------



## Ax^ (Dec 25, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> The announcement could be 'The Queen has gone to live on a farm in Wales, living an idyllic life chasing rabbits'.


----------



## SaskiaJayne (Dec 25, 2016)

It's possible she could have been killed for brexit. State funeral. Article 50 triggered. Charlie's coronation. Anti brexit voices swept away in a tide of patriotic fervour. Sounds like a go'er, she was old anyway.


----------



## Zabo (Dec 25, 2016)

Two assessment doctors from the DWP have arrived at Sandringham to conduct a Capability Work Assessment on the Queen. 'She's not going to pull the ermine over our eyes', said one doctor. 'If she's fit enough to knock back a bottle of sloe gin, she's fit enough to go to church and fulfill her duties.'


----------



## J Ed (Dec 25, 2016)

Fiji knows the truth


----------



## stuff_it (Dec 25, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> She isnt well is she ?  This could fuck up the Xmas telly schedule


If she dies before 5.45 I will kill her myself.


----------



## Celyn (Dec 25, 2016)

stuff_it said:


> If she dies before 5.45 I will kill her myself.


With your time machine?


----------



## stuff_it (Dec 25, 2016)

Bernie Gunther said:


> Animatronic taxidermy ... who'd notice ... ?


We didn't for the Queen Mum, and robotics have come on a bit since then.


----------



## krink (Dec 25, 2016)

wish i'd stuck to that diet now, the old tshirt is a bit tight these days..


----------



## not a trot (Dec 25, 2016)

Bit of a bastard for the royal coffin makers not knowing if they're required to work over crimbo.

Merry whatsit to everyone.


----------



## Ax^ (Dec 25, 2016)

coffins already sorted


----------



## Celyn (Dec 25, 2016)

not a trot said:


> Bit of a bastard for the royal coffin makers not knowing if they're required to work over crimbo.
> 
> Merry whatsit to everyone.


Oh, they probably have teams of coffin-makers, always on demand, 24/7. And extra teams, just in case the first lot have been hitting the sherry.


----------



## agricola (Dec 25, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> The announcement could be 'The Queen has gone to live on a farm in Wales, living an idyllic life chasing rabbits'.



like Nick Griffin?


----------



## Celyn (Dec 25, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> The announcement could be 'The Queen has gone to live on a farm in Wales, living an idyllic life chasing rabbits'.


 And if you go chasing rabbits ...


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 25, 2016)

agricola said:


> like Nick Griffin?


_With _Nick Griffin


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 25, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> _With _Nick Griffin


 It's the left's undoing, its failure to distinguish between shades of the right.

ETA: Pretty sure the Queen detests Nick Griffin and Thatcher. FWIW. Q has a lot of admirers still, people who aren't all total racist maniacs.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> _With _Nick Griffin


What does the future hold for the spurned Duke of Edinburgh?


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> What does the future hold for the spurned Duke of Edinburgh?


Formaldehyde.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

I bet the Queen is good at a pub quiz; all that random knowledge she'll pick up from public visits and small talk.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> Formaldehyde.


And bisection by Damien Hirst


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I bet the Queen is good at a pub quiz; all that random knowledge she'll pick up from public visits and small talk.


The best thing about the Queen in a pub quiz is that royalists often deliberately lose to ensure the Queen wins


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 25, 2016)

I return from a bracing walk in the country to find that she is still alive. What a downer.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> I return from a bracing walk in the country to find that she is still alive. What a downer.


Have we had proof of life?


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Have we had proof of life?


We demand a photograph of her holding the latest copy of the Fail. On second thoughts, that's easily 'shopped...


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> We demand a photograph of her holding the latest copy of the Fail. On second thoughts, that's easily 'shopped...


I was gonna say, sod Photoshop, a corpse can easily be positioned to look 'live'. We need moving images!


----------



## moochedit (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I was gonna say, sod Photoshop, a corpse can easily be positioned to look 'live'. We need moving images!



Have you seen rogue one yet?


----------



## tendril (Dec 25, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> Good conspiracy!
> 
> Why would they hide it? And when til? After the Christmas Broadcast? After the NY honours list?


will she have 2 death days like she has 2 birthdays.. the day she actually dies and the day they announced it...


----------



## tendril (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I was gonna say, sod Photoshop, a corpse can easily be positioned to look 'live'. We need moving images!


after seeing Peter Cushing brought to life in Rogue One, you can't even trust moving images


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

moochedit said:


> Have you seen rogue one yet?





tendril said:


> after seeing Peter Cushing brought to life in Rogue One, you can't even trust moving images


I take your point, but no-one actually believed Cushing was alive in that film.


----------



## Gerry1time (Dec 25, 2016)

Judging by this photo of him at church this morning, looks like Phillip's had his cold sorted with a very decent set of prescription drugs.


----------



## Backatcha Bandit (Dec 25, 2016)

Corduroy pillow?


----------



## SikhWarrioR (Dec 25, 2016)

emanymton said:


> Fingers crossed.




Seconded, And hoping the monarchy dies with elizabeth saxo-coburg-gotha


----------



## SikhWarrioR (Dec 25, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Fiji knows the truth



That lizzy windsor and the rest of the windsor parasites are shape shifting lizzards ?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

SikhWarrioR said:


> Seconded, And hoping the monarchy dies with elizabeth saxo-coburg-gotha


But it won't, will it?


----------



## SikhWarrioR (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> But it won't, will it?




Unfortunately but one can always dream that lizzy windsor will be the last of an unwanted royal house


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 25, 2016)

if they had any self worth or awareness, they would be out of the grace and favour properties like a shot. But despite their repeated whiny proclaimations about ordinary prople and being inspired by the great deeds of the unseen unwashed, they have utter fuking sneering contempt for us. And you can quote me on that Daily Mail.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 25, 2016)

Gerry1time said:


> Judging by this photo of him at church this morning, looks like Phillip's had his cold sorted with a very decent set of prescription drugs.
> 
> View attachment 97789



Thats a dodgy looking cgi job of phil


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> But it won't, will it?



It could be interesting as most support for the monarchy is actually support for the Queen.


----------



## scifisam (Dec 25, 2016)

They'll keep her going until a day when the Tories need to bury bad news.


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Dec 25, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> It could be interesting as most support for the monarchy is actually support for the Queen.



William, Kate and Harry are fairly popular too, I think.


----------



## Gerry1time (Dec 25, 2016)

moochedit said:


> Thats a dodgy looking cgi job of phil



If you look carefully, you can see the inner lizard poking out round the edges.


----------



## LDC (Dec 25, 2016)

Best Xmas present ever... Parasitic Royals Top Trump cards

PARASITIC ROYALS (First Edition) – Meaty Trumps #007


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 25, 2016)

So when was the last confirmed sighting or photograph of her?


----------



## mystic pyjamas (Dec 25, 2016)

bi0boy said:


> So when was the last confirmed sighting or photograph of her?


Strangely enough about the same time as the "real" Paul Mc cartney, sometime around 1968.


----------



## Stanley Edwards (Dec 25, 2016)

Obviously deaded. Even if she had a severe attack of the shits she would have made Christmas day church in Pampas.

Dead is where my money is. It's like we're all living in a Communist state circa 1981 waiting for news from our leader who hasn't been seen publicly for weeks.


----------



## dlx1 (Dec 25, 2016)

lizards don't die


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 25, 2016)

dlx1 said:


> lizards don't die


I'm sure David Attenborough would have mentioned this. I think you should check up on this before you go saying it in the pub.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 25, 2016)

Not sure he covered the illuminati tbh. He's probably one of them anyway.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 25, 2016)

mystic pyjamas said:


> Strangely enough about the same time as the "real" Paul Mc cartney, sometime around 1968.



Was she barefoot too?


----------



## Plumdaff (Dec 25, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> _With _Nick Griffin


A lot of people move politically to the left in later life.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Conspiracy theories are nonsense. If the Queen is Dead I'm Morrissey


----------



## not a trot (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Conspiracy theories are nonsense. If the Queen is Dead I'm Morrissey




Had a tiff with Phil and gone to stay with her Mum. Oh hang on.

Dead..................................................possibly.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Conspiracy theories are nonsense. If the Queen is Dead I'm Morrissey



It's fact though to those who've witnessed the acidic serpentine tongue first hand.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> It's fact though to those who've witnessed the acidic serpentine tongue first hand.


Yeh many people have noted the Queen's serpentine tongue but far fewer have drawn the appropriate conclusion.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

Ok, supposing she has died and they don't want to ruin people's Christmas, when do they reveal the truth? Tomorrow? The next day? 2017?

Also, would be quite the spectacular end to the Year of the Reaper.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Ok, supposing she has died and they don't want to ruin people's Christmas, when do they reveal the truth? Tomorrow? The next day? 2017?
> 
> Also, would be quite the spectacular end to the Year of the Reaper.


They will announce her death as soon as they can ensure a peaceful succession


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

When the *evidence* emerges that she's dead I'll believe that she is.

So far all we have is _absence_ of evidence. Conspiranoid loons will say that proves their point, but fuck that loon shite I say.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 25, 2016)

The monarchy has been dead since January 30 1649.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

Bah, where's your sense of festivity? 

If we can't speculate wildly on the death of nonagenarian at Christmas, when can we?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Sprocket. said:


> The monarchy has been dead since January 30 1649.


And if there was a rightful monarch, they would descend from James II via Bonnie Prince Charlie


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> Bah, where's your sense of festivity?
> 
> If we can't speculate wildly on the death of nonagenarian at Christmas, when can we?


Every day. This is what we do here at urban all year round


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> When the *evidence* emerges that she's dead I'll believe that she is.
> 
> So far all we have is _absence_ of evidence. Conspiranoid loons will say that proves their point, but fuck that loon shite I say.



I don't think you're taking this seriously enough


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Definitely not, but fuck conspiracy theorists right up their own twazzocky arses


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Definitely not, but fuck conspiracy theorists right up their own twazzocky arses


There's no loony conspiracy, it's just the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas and their cabal are keeping the death of our head of state from us for their own malicious reasons.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> There's no loony conspiracy, it's just the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas and their cabal are keeping the death of our head of state from us for their own malicious reasons.



That sounds quite conspiranoid to me ... even if it also turns out to be true, that just *sounds* like a loon comment.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> That sounds quite conspiranoid to me ... even if it also turns out to be true, that just *sounds* like a loon comment.


Yes cos there's absolutely never been any sneaky conniving involving the royal family.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Yes cos there's absolutely never been any sneaky conniving involving the royal family.



Yes, and because of that, she's clearly and definitely dead even in the absence of any actual evidence for her death. 

You cheeky wind-up merchant


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

The Government are fucking shite.

Therefore they photograph the undersides of our feet from beneath the pavements, everywhere we walk.


----------



## N_igma (Dec 25, 2016)

With a bit of hope she does, gives me an excuse for another day on the piss.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Yes, and because of that, she's clearly and definitely dead even in the absence of any actual evidence for her death.
> 
> You cheeky wind-up merchant


It is the absence of evidence of her continued existence - the existence of one of the most documented women in the world - which suggests she is no more.


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Dec 25, 2016)

Enjoying the edgelords using the same "lizard" rhetoric as the likes of David Icke.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

"Suggests" .... 

Even if I'm wrong, which I might *TURN OUT* to be, I prefer caution. And evidence.

And I instinctively react against loontalk..


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> "Suggests" ....
> 
> Even if I'm wrong, which I might *TURN OUT* to be, I prefer caution. And evidence.
> 
> And I instinctively react against loontalk..


Yeh cos there's never ever been a royal conspiracy


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Yeh cos there's never ever been a royal conspiracy




Which makes this current one a certainty then.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Which makes this current one a certainty then.


Not  certainty - yet


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Not  certainty - yet




All uncertainty, so far.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 25, 2016)

The truth is she died on her ninetieth birthday and she had only received half of her bumps!


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> All uncertainty, so far.



What is certainty? Some people think Dianna is certainly still alive.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> All uncertainty, so far.


The very uncertainty is surely evidence of... uncertainty!


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> All uncertainty, so far.


Yeh

Uncertainty. Where there should be certainty.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 25, 2016)

bi0boy said:


> What is certainty? Some people think Dianna is certainly still alive.


Some people even think she has two ens.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

bi0boy said:


> What is certainty? Some people think Dianna is certainly still alive.




My point is proved there I reckon. Diana became a conspiraloon-magnet, hence the common sense of being megasceptical about these 'Queen is Dead' 'rumours'


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> My point is proved there I reckon. Diana became a conspiraloon-magnet, hence the common sense of being megasceptical about these 'Queen is Dead 'rumours'


Yeh Diana believed every loony theory going


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Yeh Diana *believed every loony theory going*



Just like those 'Prince Philip organised her death' merchants. And the editors of the Daily Express


----------



## ska invita (Dec 25, 2016)

My mum pointed out all the royal family were beaming in church today, so unless they're really happy she's dead, she's not gone yet...


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Just like those 'Prince Philip organised her death' merchants. And the editors of the Daily Express


Diana was supremely credulous


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

ska invita said:


> My mum pointed out all the royal family were beaming in church today, so unless they're really happy she's dead, she's not gone yet...


They're all in for a fat wad of cash


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:
			
		

> Diana was supremely credulous



Just like her conspiraloon obsessives after she died ....

*IF SHE EVER REALLY DID DIE* </bonkersnaut mode  >


----------



## brogdale (Dec 25, 2016)

ska invita said:


> My mum pointed out all the royal family were beaming in church today, so unless they're really happy she's dead, she's not gone yet...


----------



## Stanley Edwards (Dec 25, 2016)

ska invita said:


> My mum pointed out all the royal family were beaming in church today, so unless they're really happy she's dead, she's not gone yet...



They're obviously taking very powerful anti-depressants as prescribed by their media adviser.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 25, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> When the *evidence* emerges that she's dead I'll believe that she is.
> 
> So far all we have is _absence_ of evidence. Conspiranoid loons will say that proves their point, but fuck that loon shite I say.


Loons eh?

Telegraph giving a clear steer to those that can see....obvs the sheeple won't, but....


----------



## Backatcha Bandit (Dec 25, 2016)

It's about time we settled this once and for all. 

Could whoever is closest please just prod her with a stick?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 25, 2016)

Gerry1time said:


> Judging by this photo of him at church this morning, looks like Phillip's had his cold sorted with a very decent set of prescription drugs.
> 
> View attachment 97789



The way he's gurning, he's probably just popped half a dozen high-quality bennies.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 25, 2016)

Every individual in this photo is wearing at least one black garment/footwear.


----------



## Gerry1time (Dec 25, 2016)

and they're all stepping forward with their right foot, apart from Prince Harry, who's stepping forward with his left one. It's a sign! What of, I don't know, but it definitely is one.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> And if there was a rightful monarch, they would descend from James II via Bonnie Prince Charlie



Maybe, yet he and all those since still believed they were monarchs by divine choice from God.  Even today I suspect in private they believe this.
When the truth is they only continue due to divine choice from Paul Dacre and Rupert Murdoch.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 25, 2016)

Gerry1time said:


> and they're all stepping forward with their right foot, apart from Prince Harry, who's stepping forward with his left one. It's a sign! What of, I don't know, but it definitely is one.


Harry had human parents?


----------



## Gerry1time (Dec 25, 2016)

ViolentPanda said:


> The way he's gurning, he's probably just popped half a dozen high-quality bennies.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Loons eh?
> 
> Telegraph giving a clear steer to those that can see....obvs the sheeple won't, but....


It's like Paul McCartney all over again!


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It's like Paul McCartney all over again!



And again!


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It's like Paul McCartney all over again!


Yeh and curiously enough that happened fifty years ago


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 25, 2016)

Party in trafalgar square the Saturday after the auld witch fucks off


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 25, 2016)

Alternate theory: she's just got tired of church and pulled a long con sickie.

Or, she wants to abdicate but others behind the scenes don't want that and "a heavy cold" is the royal "tired and emotional" while they try to convince her to stay.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

If she ain't dead perhaps we could give her to the Reaper and get George Michael back


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> If she ain't dead perhaps we could give her to the Reaper and get George Michael back



Nah, sadly once you pass beyond the veil the only way back is to beat the Reaper at chess. I saw a black and white documentary about it!


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 25, 2016)

Sprocket. said:


> Nah, sadly once you pass beyond the veil the only way back is to beat the Reaper at chess. I saw a black and white documentary about it!


Or twister


----------



## frogwoman (Dec 25, 2016)

would certainly be one way for 2016 to go out with a bang


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 25, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Or twister



For best results it has to be in Swedish apparently!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 26, 2016)

A google image search for 'is the queen dead' returns almost an entire page of images of the Smiths album cover, bar six images.  Odd to see such a consistent result.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 26, 2016)

I couldn't find a isthequeendead.com or anything similar. They've been gotten to!


----------



## oryx (Dec 26, 2016)

This thread does make me wonder what will happen when the inevitable happens.

Queen Liz is popular because she has been well-behaved - a dignified and relatively non-interfering monarch, and there has been no constitutional crisis since 1936. Everyone under the age of 70 ish won't remember anything else.

I'm a republican, don't believe in a feudal monarchy. But I can see how the current Queen has been well-liked and I wouldn't wish an Ipatiev House type thing on her or hers, just that they are not treated like gods and financed like they were gods.

Charles is less liked, by some people because of interference in government (the spider memos etc.) and by some because of the Diana thing which is more commensurate with the behaviour of royalty in history.

When the Queen does go*, it will be interesting.

*if she ain't already


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 26, 2016)

oryx said:


> Charles is less liked, by some people because of interference in government (the spider memos etc.) and by some because of the Diana thing which is more commensurate with the behaviour of royalty in history.
> 
> When the Queen does go*, it will be interesting.
> 
> *if she ain't already


As has been suggested above, I think Will's generation is better liked than his father's, so depending on how long Charles' reign lasts things may not be interesting for that long.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 26, 2016)

Now the state broadcaster tells us. Just read (clockwise) around the picture of the monarch...



> Ex-Queen...dies...all die...lose...break....bid farewell....German disposal...heart attack on Friday.


----------



## frogwoman (Dec 26, 2016)

yeah, I don't have anything against the queen as a person just think the monarchy is ridiculous and we pay far too much money to the royal family.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 26, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Now the state broadcaster tells us. Just read (clockwise) around the picture of the monarch...
> 
> ​



David Icke would be proud of you.


----------



## SpackleFrog (Dec 26, 2016)

From last year, in case anyone's interested The death of Queen Elizabeth will be the most disruptive event in Britain in the last 70 years


----------



## oryx (Dec 26, 2016)

SpackleFrog said:


> From last year, in case anyone's interested The death of Queen Elizabeth will be the most disruptive event in Britain in the last 70 years



Really interesting article and links therein, thank you.

I couldn't resist pressing the 'no, there should be no statue of Thatcher on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square' button even thought it was probably years out of date. Computer didn't say no to my vote  54% of the population are with me regarding the old witch, anyway.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 26, 2016)

SpackleFrog said:


> From last year, in case anyone's interested The death of Queen Elizabeth will be the most disruptive event in Britain in the last 70 years



A bit more tongue-in-cheek, but quite apt to describe the absurd mourning that happens in these cases as a _'national fever-dream'_

This Is What Will Happen When the Queen Dies - VICE


----------



## Grace Johnson (Dec 26, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> A bit more tongue-in-cheek, but quite apt to describe the absurd mourning that happens in these cases as a _'national fever-dream'_
> 
> This Is What Will Happen When the Queen Dies - VICE




"Britain loves to go off its nut, anyway. For the Diamond Jubilee, everyone stood around getting soaked to the tits just to watch a live Queen stand on a boat. Imagine how much more adverse weather they'd put up with for a dead Queen. It would be almost limitless."

This line tho......


----------



## Smangus (Dec 26, 2016)

She's gonna be the only person 2016 let's off the hook.


----------



## Reiabuzz (Dec 26, 2016)

Gah. Clicked on this thread thinking I'd missed the big news. That would've gone a long way to making up for a totally shit in every way 2016, seeing the old bitch kick the bucket.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 26, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> "Suggests" ....
> 
> Even if I'm wrong, which I might *TURN OUT* to be, I prefer caution. And evidence.
> 
> And I instinctively react against loontalk..



It's just a bit of fun, not genuine conspiranoidary.


----------



## alsoknownas (Dec 26, 2016)

Well if you'd like to add to your sense of conspiratorial mist - I have been informed that there were very recent rehearsals of the Queen's passing broadcasts at the BBC.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 26, 2016)

Reiabuzz said:


> Gah. Clicked on this thread thinking I'd missed the big news. That would've gone a long way to making up for a totally shit in every way 2016, seeing the old bitch kick the bucket.




Give it a few more days. Once she has finished shape shifting into her new "charles" form. Then our state media will make it public. In the meantime they will distract the sheeple by bumping off various celebs.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 26, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> It's just a bit of fun, not genuine conspiranoidary.



I (sort of  ) accept that about this thread, but is there the odd *actual* loon on this thread using the pisstaking majority of posts as cover for posting proper full on bonkers loon-speculation?  

I only ask  ... because Urban pisstakers might be _unknowingly validating_ the Ickery of some idiots ..... </conspiranoia as counter-conspiranoia ...  >


----------



## brogdale (Dec 26, 2016)

Early morning rehearsal ?....


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 26, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> I (sort of  ) accept that about this thread, but is there the odd *actual* loon on this thread using the pisstaking majority of posts as cover for posting proper full on bonkers loon-speculation?
> 
> I only ask  ... because Urban pisstakers might be _unknowingly validating_ the Ickery of some idiots ..... </conspiranoia as counter-conspiranoia ...  >



There's obviously a thin line between satire and actuality but i don't think anyone is placed in the latter here but if they are, it's negated by the majority being placed in the former.


----------



## SaskiaJayne (Dec 27, 2016)

I find the suggestion that there are no actual loons whatsoever posting on urban a bit difficult to believe. If there are any actual outthere basket case loons on urban this is just the type of thread that will attract their attention.


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 27, 2016)

Maybe she was thinking about her last breath as she did her Christmas speech:

Queen Elizabeth II says it’s time to take a ‘deep breath’

note that "An earlier version of this story incorrectly described the Queen’s relationship to Prince William."


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

SaskiaJayne said:


> I find the suggestion that there are no actual loons whatsoever posting on urban a bit difficult to believe. If there are any actual outthere basket case loons on urban this is just the type of thread that will attract their attention.





Thermite.


----------



## Fez909 (Dec 27, 2016)

The Spanish Royal family's official Twitter account put up a message of condolence, but it was quickly deleted


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

Fez909 said:


> The Spanish Royal family's official Twitter account put up a message of condolence, but it was quickly deleted



Take screenshots


----------



## frogwoman (Dec 27, 2016)

I was speculating with my mum who is a quite strong remain supporter that she could die on the day that article 50 is activated


----------



## chilango (Dec 27, 2016)

I've been busy spreading the rumour that she's on ice in Buckingham Palace.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 27, 2016)

I'm not sure she should be ice skating in her condition.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 27, 2016)

Or be behaving like a bottle of champagne.


----------



## chilango (Dec 27, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Or be behaving like a bottle of champagne.



I'm saying they just dumped her where they'd been keeping the NYE lobster....


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

chilango said:


> I've been busy spreading the rumour that she's on ice in Buckingham Palace.


Yeh best not mention the morgue at windsor


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 27, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'm not sure she should be ice skating in her condition.



It all went downhill after she jumped out of that helicopter in the Olympics...


----------



## TopCat (Dec 27, 2016)

Im hearing she aint well.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Take screenshots


Can save valuable material...





> *Elizabrth*




I presume she found work with the Grauniad following this?


----------



## TopCat (Dec 27, 2016)

TopCat said:


> Im hearing she aint well.


Seriously folks


----------



## aqua (Dec 27, 2016)

TopCat said:


> Seriously folks


from where though? or are you telling us you're really a member of the royal family


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

TopCat said:


> Seriously folks


Wonder if editor has a black drapped template ready for the forum?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)




----------



## TopCat (Dec 27, 2016)

aqua said:


> from where though? or are you telling us you're really a member of the royal family


Its all about bridges.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Wonder if editor has a black drapped template ready for the forum?


we must all post wearing black crepe armbands for 64 days, a day for every year she reigned.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

TopCat said:


> Its all about bridges.


ah! banner drops!


----------



## aqua (Dec 27, 2016)

TopCat said:


> Its all about bridges.


christ that made my head hurt for a while 
I *think* I know what you mean


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

so the beatles did get the length of her reign right, and people said there were no secret messages in their songs


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> we must all post wearing black crepe armbands for 64 days, a day for every year she reigned.


The RF have, apparently, reassured their adoring subjects that the wearing of blackshirts will be quite acceptable.


----------



## TopCat (Dec 27, 2016)

aqua said:


> christ that made my head hurt for a while
> I *think* I know what you mean


They are pumping orphan child blood into it right now.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

> _*The cast of the Royle Family have paid tribute to their fictional Nana Liz*_


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 27, 2016)

According to The Royal Family official website all her public engagements have been deleted 

This is surely definitive proof


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

Might be nothing at all...but...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 27, 2016)

Dwyer never made good his promise to prove God exists, probably using some Berkley based jiggery pokery but you God can prove it to me this week and I will never doubt again. Promise


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Might be nothing at all...but...
> 
> View attachment 97885


yeh but is it his or hearse?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

can it be any coincidence that the australian business insider carried this article today The death of Queen Elizabeth will be the most disruptive event in Britain in the last 70 years


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 27, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> can it be any coincidence that



Perfectly possibly ...


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 27, 2016)

Does this mean they'll be changing the fivers again?


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

krtek a houby said:


> Does this mean they'll be changing the fivers again?


Don't drag that beef into this thread.


----------



## belboid (Dec 27, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> can it be any coincidence that the australian business insider carried this article today The death of Queen Elizabeth will be the most disruptive event in Britain in the last 70 years


And that article is a reprint of one they carried last March (with figures amended accordingly)

The death of Queen Elizabeth will be the most disruptive event in Britain in the last 70 years


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 27, 2016)

I wonder will the mourning be as hearfelt as Diana's was?


----------



## chilango (Dec 27, 2016)

krtek a houby said:


> I wonder will the mourning be as hearfelt as Diana's was?



In my case it will, exactly as heartfelt.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 27, 2016)

chilango said:


> In my case it will, exactly as heartfelt.



I imagine the country will be closed for a few days. Not in the Thai style way but the monarchy is still much beloved. Not by me, I hasten to add.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

chilango said:


> In my case it will, exactly as heartfelt.


Having completely avoided the coverage of the entire Diana death fest, my abiding memory of the footage of the cortege derives from the clips shown on Clive James' BBC review of the (1997) year programme in which images of Charles Windsor's "mourning" were shown whilst the Verve's "Lucky man" played in the soundtrack.
Genius.


----------



## stavros (Dec 27, 2016)

Members of my extended family were talking about the succession immediately prior to Brenda's talking head piece on Sunday, and who they thought ought to get the nod. I bit my lip on their misunderstanding of how hereditary monarchies work.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

As well as suggesting for the soundtrack of the thread...I actually quite like this.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 27, 2016)

SaskiaJayne said:


> I find the suggestion that there are no actual loons whatsoever posting on urban a bit difficult to believe. If there are any actual outthere basket case loons on urban this is just the type of thread that will attract their attention.



I was talking about this thread, not the entire membership.


----------



## stavros (Dec 27, 2016)

I hope Private Eye recreate their "Woman has baby" front page with "Old woman dies" when it happens.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

belboid said:


> And that article is a reprint of one they carried last March (with figures amended accordingly)
> 
> The death of Queen Elizabeth will be the most disruptive event in Britain in the last 70 years


yeh i thought that was the case so i was surprised to see they said someone told the business insider something when they so plainly didn't.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 27, 2016)

The reaper's played this canny. If she does become his biggest catch of 2016 he's already culled a Royal Variety performance this year in anticipation of her arrival.


----------



## J Ed (Dec 27, 2016)

Bad news everyone


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 27, 2016)

Yeah, but why is this Emily Andrews an authority on Queen viability?


----------



## J Ed (Dec 27, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Yeah, but why is this Emily Andrews an authority on Queen viability?



she is an expert on the lifespans of lizards


----------



## belboid (Dec 27, 2016)

That's the same pic she tweeted on Christmas Day. 

Definitely dead then.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 27, 2016)

Or regrowing her tail


----------



## magneze (Dec 27, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Bad news everyone



That is not proof of life. She needs to be holding today's newspaper ffs.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 27, 2016)

magneze said:


> That is not proof of life. She needs to be holding today's newspaper ffs.



The Today Newspaper folded ceased in 1995. Around the same time the Queen entered her third millenium as lizard overlord.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Bad news everyone





you'll see her on sun at church. in a coffin.


----------



## tim (Dec 27, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Bad news everyone




A New Year's day funeral, then.


----------



## Plumdaff (Dec 27, 2016)

tim said:


> A New Year's day funeral, then.



I would be fucking raging. One of the few benefits of living on this damp shitty class and deference ridden island is an extra bank holiday when the monarch dies.

I demand my fucking birthright!


----------



## brogdale (Dec 27, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 97900
> 
> you'll see her on sun at church. in a coffin.


"up and about" with inverted commas?
Already in the atmosphere?


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 27, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 97900
> 
> you'll see her on sun at church. in a coffin.



What's Dracula's favourite coffin medicine?


----------



## Dogsauce (Dec 27, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> I would be fucking raging. One of the few benefits of living on this damp shitty class and deference ridden island is an extra bank holiday when the monarch dies.
> 
> I demand my fucking birthright!



I'll be fucking livid as I packed my job in last month, a complete waste of time her dying if I don't get a day off work.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 27, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Bad news everyone


I've just noticed the Droste effect in that photo. But look who's been shopped out.


----------



## xenon (Dec 28, 2016)

When she passes, and national week of morning with the commensurate days off work. Would be right and proper.  Early April would be convenient for me.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 28, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> I couldn't find a isthequeendead.com or anything similar. They've been gotten to!



Found one! (It's wrong though  )

Queen Elizabeth II


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 28, 2016)

Plumdaff said:


> *I would be fucking raging.* One of the few benefits of living on this damp shitty class and deference ridden island is an extra bank holiday when the monarch dies.
> 
> I demand my fucking birthright!




Damned fucking right. We'd need a minimum of two *entirely extra* Bank Holidays.

In the utterly hypothetical situation of the Queen's funeral coming up within the next three years, that is


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 28, 2016)

The Monday and Tuesday immediately following Glastonbury** would suit me fine 

**2019, say


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 28, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Damned fucking right. We'd need a minimum of two *entirely extra* Bank Holidays.
> 
> In the utterly hypothetical situation of the Queen's funeral coming up within the next three years, that is


I think it should be a full month of bank holidays to allow for mourning. We'll all be so upset that a month will be needed at a minimum to regain our composure.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 28, 2016)

I did say minimum, but OK let's go for it 

Riots if fewer Bank Holidays than for 3 weeks. Man!


----------



## brogdale (Dec 28, 2016)

The Quexit holiday.


----------



## maomao (Dec 28, 2016)

Don't give a fuck as I don't get bank holidays off. I'm happy for her to die at her earliest convenience.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 28, 2016)

maomao said:


> Don't give a fuck as I don't get bank holidays off. I'm happy for her to die at her earliest convenience.



Not much in the way of solidarity with those who do get bank holidays off. I think the end of January is sorely lacking one.


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 28, 2016)

She better wait until the end of January at least. I've got shopping to do, mail to send, travel to undertake and all that sort of thing.


----------



## belboid (Dec 28, 2016)

maomao said:


> Don't give a fuck as I don't get bank holidays off. I'm happy for her to die at her earliest convenience.


Me neither - that's the problem with agency work.  Or one of the problems.

Could be a cracking organising opportunity tho, even the Mail would be sympathetic with poor workers who just wanted to mourn with everyone else.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Not much in the way of solidarity with those who do get bank holidays off. I think the end of January is sorely lacking one.


She better not die at easter and fuck up good friday and easter monday


----------



## SaskiaJayne (Dec 28, 2016)

They won't keep her rotting corpse on ice for that long. End of Jan would be a good time to announce death. State funeral in Feb all ready for a spring coronation.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

SaskiaJayne said:


> They won't keep her rotting corpse on ice for that long. End of Jan would be a good time to announce death. State funeral in Feb all ready for a spring coronation.


Coronations take a long time to organise, I reckon you'd be looking at 2018 even if the truth about the Queen emerges this evening


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Coronations take a long time to organise, I reckon you'd be looking at 2018 even if the truth about the Queen emerges this evening


They could get with the austerity times and hold the coronation in the local registry office. Save a fortune.


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 28, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> They could get with the austerity times and hold the coronation in the local registry office. Save a fortune.


A civil coronation.


----------



## tim (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> She better not die at easter and fuck up good friday and easter monday



Die on friday and resurected by monday.


----------



## friedaweed (Dec 28, 2016)




----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 28, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> A civil coronation.


A cheap and efficient coronation. Get it sorted in a week of the death of the Queen too.


----------



## stavros (Dec 28, 2016)

I hope she doesn't croak it when important sporting events are on. I still resent the Beeb relegating the 2011 Trump-Ding snooker semi-final to the website for that stupid wedding on every channel they had.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> A cheap and efficient coronation. Get it sorted in a week of the death of the Queen too.


It is a pity that today the Queen's lickspittles won't follow her into the grave in the same way those of mongol emperors did


----------



## TopCat (Dec 28, 2016)

They have had to take the salad box and the trays out the fridge, cram her in and gaffer tape the fucker up.


----------



## Ranbay (Dec 28, 2016)

If they time it right we could have ages off around Easter and the May bank holiday


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

Ranbay said:


> If they time it right we could have ages off around Easter and the May bank holiday


if you want a job done properly, do it yourself.


----------



## stavros (Dec 28, 2016)

Won't anyone think of the corgis?!


----------



## Ranbay (Dec 28, 2016)

Can i eat a Swan when she dies or what?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

Ranbay said:


> Can i eat a Swan when she dies or what?


you can eat a swan now, if you want.

Hunting and Cooking Swans


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

stavros said:


> Won't anyone think of the corgis?!


battersea's the best they can hope for


----------



## Ranbay (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> you can eat a swan now, if you want.
> 
> Hunting and Cooking Swans



TLDR


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

Ranbay said:


> TLDR


executive summary: you can do what you want to swans now as long as you don't get caught.


----------



## Ranbay (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> executive summary: you can do what you want to swans now as long as you don't get caught.



So kinda like EVERYTHING else i do.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

Ranbay said:


> So kinda like EVERYTHING else i do.


yeh. but you'll have to defeather the swan yourself, and remove its innards.


----------



## Ranbay (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> yeh. but you'll have to defeather the swan yourself, and remove its innards.



Runs off to search TOR (the darkweb for the noobs)


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 28, 2016)

Or go to Poland and get it on toast.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Or go to Poland and get it on toast.


sure you don't need to go that far, the french probably eat swans and serve them to a discerning clientele.


----------



## tim (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> you can eat a swan now, if you want.
> 
> Hunting and Cooking Swans




Not legally in the UK , with the posible exception of the Orkney's



> Last Updated: Friday, 18 March, 2005, 16:45 GM
> 
> Composer Sir Peter Maxwell Davies has hit the wrong note with police
> The Queen's composer has ruffled feathers after police found the body of a swan at his home.
> ...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Dec 28, 2016)

> He said the bird died after hitting a power line. When police called at his home he offered them swan terrine.
> 
> Police would not comment but confirmed that a protected bird has been removed from a property in Sanday.



Hmmm...


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> sure you don't need to go that far, the french probably eat swans and serve them to a discerning clientele.



Never recommended on the Daily Mail though, unlike...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 28, 2016)

I have been away- any updates?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 28, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> I have been away- any updates?


Yes


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 28, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> I have been away- any updates?



It's really happening. Watch this space.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 28, 2016)

oh good


----------



## JTG (Dec 28, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> She better not die at easter and fuck up good friday and easter monday


The last time there was a royalty related bank holiday in the spring, Bristol took the opportunity to get two good solid riots in on consecutive weekends. Stop being so negative man


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Anyone notice how not one single MSmeeja outlet have reported her death yet?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 29, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Anyone notice how not one single MSmeeja outlet have reported her death yet?


Definitely a conspiracy.


----------



## Chilli.s (Dec 29, 2016)

Its nice to go into a new year with something to look forward to, and the prospect of an unexpected day off work is just the thing. Think we should all be a bit hopeful about this.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Definitely a conspiracy.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

@RoyalFamily; no tweet for 4 days now.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 29, 2016)

brogdale said:


> @RoyalFamily; no tweet for 4 days now.




Are you suggesting the queen tweets these things herself and no one has the password?


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Artaxerxes said:


> Are you suggesting the queen tweets these things herself and no one has the password?


DA-Notice (05)


----------



## D'wards (Dec 29, 2016)

My step-sister's friend works for a news agency, and has stated that something is going on but they don't know what. She deduced this from the strangeness of the news coming from the press office, so it is just her opinion.
She reckons either her maj or Phil the Greek are dead or on their deathbed


----------



## DotCommunist (Dec 29, 2016)

BUT PHIL WAS AT CHURCH? OR WAS HE....


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 29, 2016)

D'wards said:


> My step-sister's friend works for a news agency, and has stated that something is going on but they don't know what. She deduced this from the strangeness of the news coming from the press office, so it is just her opinion.
> She reckons either her maj or Phil the Greek are dead or on their deathbed


That's what we're all getting from Auntie, tbh. Despite nicely fed stories of HM being up and about and bothering people.

And what Dottie just said.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 29, 2016)

D'wards said:


> *My step-sister's friend* works for a news agency, and has stated that something is going on but they don't know what. She deduced this from the strangeness of the news coming from the press office, so it is just her opinion.
> She reckons either her maj or Phil the Greek are dead or on their deathbed


Impeccable source, btw.


----------



## hash tag (Dec 29, 2016)

When was the last time she was seen n public, when she was bussed up to Sandringham? That was days ago now.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 29, 2016)

hash tag said:


> When was the last time she was seen n public, when she was bussed up to Sandringham? That was days ago now.


She wasn't seen tho, was she? She was reported to have gone up to Sanders in a helicopter. _We have only their word for it._

There should be an emoji for *finger taps nose*.


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 29, 2016)

Moulting period to fourth instar [/Icke]


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 29, 2016)

mrs quoad said:


> Moulting period to fourth instar [/Icke]


Had to google "fourth instar".


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

tim said:


> Not legally in the UK , with the posible exception of the Orkney's


Yeh. Not legally. But the first commandment is thou shalt not get caught


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 29, 2016)

mrs quoad said:


> Moulting period to fourth instar [/Icke]



This has led me to his forum. Always a joy to read.

 

Logical...


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 29, 2016)

What I don't understand is if revealing the truth can lead to your premature death in suspicious circumstances, how comes so many of them revealing the truth are in rude health?


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 29, 2016)

Chilli.s said:


> Its nice to go into a new year with something to look forward to, and the prospect of an unexpected day off work is just the thing. Think we should all be a bit hopeful about this.



Two days off, one for the funeral and one for the coronation. Plus if Chuck cannot handle the pressure and croaks we might get four! Result!


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> What I don't understand is if revealing the truth can lead to your premature death in suspicious circumstances, how comes so many of them revealing the truth are in rude health?


They are now. They may not be later. Top tip: check your tea for radiation.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 29, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> They are now. They may not be later. Top tip: check your tea for radiation.



Whilst wearing your custom made tinfoil hat.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

Sprocket. said:


> Whilst wearing your custom made tinfoil hat.


No. Tinfoil shown to be ineffectual.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 29, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> No. Tinfoil shown to be ineffectual.



That's me knackered then.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 29, 2016)

2017 hasn't started yet but _decept_ (v.t.) is already in the running for word of the year.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

Sprocket. said:


> That's me knackered then.


Use aluminium.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 29, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> 2017 hasn't started yet but _decept_ (v.t.) is already in the running for word of the year.



e2a: wrt to post #444


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> No. Tinfoil shown to be ineffectual.


Spot on.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Use aluminium.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 29, 2016)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 97974


Make aluminum foil helmets great again.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

This is very convincing...


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 29, 2016)

Replace the cats with Corgis...


----------



## magneze (Dec 29, 2016)

Love that episode


----------



## gosub (Dec 29, 2016)

It will be a while before we can know for sure , what with Xmas disruption and holiday plans....Milkman will probably start to worry about mid January if nobodies been taking the milk in at Buck house.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

gosub said:


> It will be a while before we can know for sure , what with Xmas disruption and holiday plans....Milkman will probably start to worry about mid January if nobodies been taking the milk in at Buck house.


All reptiles are "lactose intolerant", it'll be the gin deliveries stacking up that will give away her demise.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Dec 29, 2016)

brogdale said:


> All reptiles are "lactose intolerant", it'll be the gin deliveries stacking up that will give away her demise.



Ah, but these are shape shifting reptiles. They could shape shift into calfs.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Ah, but these are shape shifting reptiles. They could shape shift into calfs.


Good point; well made.


----------



## stavros (Dec 29, 2016)

Brenda, Brian, William and whatever clones he's produced all die in a bizarre gardening accident, meaning we finally get a Harry paternity test.


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 29, 2016)

brogdale said:


> This is very convincing...




It's hard to argue against such a competent technical analysis of speech and facial features. Perhaps we should be asking whether this imposter Queen is dead - I suspect they're having problems sourcing a second replacement.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

stavros said:


> Brenda, Brian, William and whatever clones he's produced all die in a bizarre gardening accident, meaning we finally get a Harry paternity test.


No, in the script it says Harry goes Nepal at 2245 on Sat.


----------



## Fez909 (Dec 29, 2016)

The news is spreading. Someone just started a thread much like this one on a football forum I lurk on.

Apparently the news will be released at 8am, as per protocol.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 29, 2016)

The Queen isn't dead - fake BBC account spreads false 'news' of monarch's demise

ok which one of you did the twitter post?


----------



## xes (Dec 29, 2016)

*fingers crossed*


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

moochedit said:


> The Queen isn't dead - fake BBC account spreads false 'news' of monarch's demise
> 
> ok which one of you did the twitter post?


Why would it be one of us?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

xes said:


> *fingers crossed*



They'll all be guillotined live on nye


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Why would it be one of us?


It's not you anyway, you've been slaving over a hot computer


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 29, 2016)

moochedit said:


> The Queen isn't dead - fake BBC account spreads false 'news' of monarch's demise
> 
> ok which one of you did the twitter post?


Mirror ties itself in knots and inadvertently lets slip the news it's trying to suppress. 

_She hadn't realised the obituary was real. _


----------



## xes (Dec 29, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> They'll all be guillotined live on nye


you're such a tease.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> It's not you anyway, you've been slaving over a hot computer


Nope. But we are only a tiny speck in a vast internet. And there are so many jokers out there.


----------



## ffsear (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> we are only a tiny speck in a vast internet.



less then that


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 29, 2016)

xes said:


> *fingers crossed*




Harry wouldn't announce his engagement until some time after his dead grandmothers funeral, surely?


----------



## ffsear (Dec 29, 2016)

tbh,  if you hate the royals,  the last thing you want is a dead queen,  otherwise you've got a state funeral to get angry about,  followed by a state funded coronation to really blow your top.   Best off sitting on your arse hoping she outlives you.   god save the queen


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2016)

ffsear said:


> tbh,  if you hate the royals,  the last thing you want is a queen


C4U


----------



## juice_terry (Dec 29, 2016)

So what's the announcement that will be made tomorrow when the embargo is lifted ? 

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

ffsear said:


> tbh,  if you hate the royals,  the last thing you want is a dead queen,  otherwise you've got a state funeral to get angry about,  followed by a state funded coronation to really blow your top.   Best off sitting on your arse hoping she outlives you.   god save the queen


Nah. the queen is mystifyingly popular. I don't understand it but there it is, she is. Give us another one and we'll see how that goes.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 29, 2016)

group photograph in Yekaterinburg to be announced. All royals required to attend,no matter how flimsly the genetic link. No sick notes or days in Lieu off allowed.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Nah. the queen is mystifyingly popular. I don't understand it but there it is, she is. Give us another one and we'll see how that goes.


We don't want another one. We don't want a monarchy. 
Monarchists are hard to fathom. WTF are they thinking?


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> We don't want another one. We don't want a monarchy.
> Monarchists are hard to fathom. WTF are they thinking?



Monarchists are hard to fathom, yes, but history tells us that unpopular monarchs make monarchy very unpopular, and that this can happen very quickly. this queen is popular. bring on another, just to see as much as anything else. Their popularity is not guaranteed.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Monarchists are hard to fathom, yes, but history tells us that unpopular monarchs make monarchy very unpopular, and that this can happen very quickly. this queen is popular. bring on another, just to see as much as anything else. Their popularity is not guaranteed.


We don't want another. Why call for another one, unless you're a monarchist?


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> We don't want another. Why call for another one, unless you're a monarchist?


Oh, I'm just cheering on the death of this one. The idea that changing the monarch isn't a big thing is wrong, imo. It's something none of us (bar perhaps sas) has experienced, but it's a change that can produce demands for change. Better than her not dying. Get gone, I say. Get gone asap.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Oh, I'm just cheering on the death of this one. The idea that changing the monarch isn't a big thing is wrong, imo. It's something none of us (bar perhaps sas) has experienced, but it's a change that can produce demands for change. Better than her not dying. Get gone, I say. Get gone asap.


Quite a lot of us have experienced it! Many of our parents and grandparents have.


----------



## oryx (Dec 29, 2016)

Speculation also rife on M***net. Someone saying Theresa May due to make a statement at 8am! How they purport to know that I do not know.

 <mentally hums X Files theme tune>


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Quite a lot of us have experienced it! Many of our parents and grandparents have.


No we haven't. This one came to the throne in the early 50s. The vast majority of us have not experienced it. There were fears for the monarchy in the 30s. There are fears for it at various periods. Bring on another period of fear.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

oryx said:


> Speculation also rife on M***net. Someone saying Theresa May due to make a statement at 8am! How they purport to know that I do not know.


There are some massive fibbers out there who like it to be known they have special knowledge that the rest of us don't have. They tend to be the kind of person who says they knew there was something fishy about someone, but only after learning of their disgrace.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> There are some massive fibbers out there who like it be known they have special knowledge that the rest of us have.


(((brogdale)))


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> No we haven't. This one came to the throne in the early 50s. The vast majority of us have not experienced it. There were fears for the monarchy in the 30s. There are fears for it at various periods. Bring on another period of fear.


Loads of people are in their 70s and 80s - a couple of million at least in the UK.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Loads of people are in their 70s and 80s - a couple of million at least in the UK.


Not on here.  Think you missed my nuance 'not even sas' tbh.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Not on here.


Why are so many on here so U75-centric?
'We' are a tiny insignificant cross section of a tiny insignificant demographic


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Why are so many on here so U75-centric?
> 'We' are a tiny insignificant cross section of a tiny insignificant demographic


Don't be silly. I was talking about 'us', hence the reference to the old, royalist poster.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Don't be silly. I was talking about 'us', hence the reference to the old, royalist poster.


Exactly, being U75centric.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Exactly, being U75centric.


Yep, speaking to Urban on Urban.

My mum would not approve. She wouldn't approve of probably about 90 per cent of what I post on here. She's 84, btw. She would remember.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

> _....our figurehead
> Is not what she seems_


----------



## oryx (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> There are some massive fibbers out there who like it be known they have special knowledge that the rest of us have. They tend to be the kind of person who says they knew there was something fishy about someone, but only after learning of their disgrace.



 partner had hysterics when I told him the Theresa May thing (mirth, not grief, I hasten to add). Likened it to Paul McCartney and the cover of Sgt Pepper.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Yep, speaking to Urban on Urban.
> 
> My mum would not approve. She wouldn't approve of probably about 90 per cent of what I post on here. She's 84, btw. She would remember.


Indeed, that's why it's a bit daft to think our views are representative. The monarchy SHOULD end, but there are loads out there who remain deferent. Maybe cos some of them saw the Coronation in colour for the first time on a neighbour's telly and were blown away by it instead of disgusted by it.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 29, 2016)

Is she fuckin dead or wot?


----------



## oryx (Dec 29, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Is she fuckin dead or wot?



Sorry mate, I reckon you have eight hours and nineteen minutes to wait to find out.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Indeed, that's why it's a bit daft to think our views are representative. The monarchy SHOULD end, but there are loads out there who remain deferent. Maybe cos some of them saw the Coronation *in colour for the first time on a neighbour's telly* and were blown away by it instead of disgusted by it.


Lordy, after the tin foil, chemtrails & shape-shifting, we're now onto time travel! It'll be UFO connections to the RF next!


----------



## moochedit (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Why would it be one of us?



I just know it is.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Is she fuckin dead or wot?


You suggesting a poll?


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 29, 2016)

Content of post 444, page 15 on this thread : why I refuse *ON PRINCIPLE* to accept that the Queen is dead .... _even if she is_.

Taking the conspirapiss just encourages actual conspiraloons. Whose growing success in this thread as sleepers (using the general pisstaking as 'deep cover') just undermines us finding out the *REAL TRUTH*


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Lordy, after the tin foil, chemtrails & shape-shifting, we're now onto time travel! It'll be UFO connections to the RF next!


Forgive me, I'd got my wires crossed. That was Wimbledon in the 60s.
It was a huge live broadcast seen by millions though.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Content of post 444, page 15 on this thread : why I refuse *ON PRINCIPLE* to accept that the Queen is dead .... _even if she is_.
> 
> Taking the conspirapiss just encourages actual conspiraloons. Whose growing success in this thread as sleepers (using the general pisstaking as 'deep cover') just undermines us finding out the *REAL TRUTH*


Double, double bluff, eh?
Sneaky.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 29, 2016)

Every single conspiracy theory in the world ever has just been a CIA/MI5 (etc) conspiracy.

*Don't give in to them, Pisstakers.*

There's in any case no hope for you (actual) Loons on this thread who've been giving in to 'them', *that is the real 'them'*, for years.

(Not there's any more than zero essential difference between conspirapisstakers* and actual conspiraloons* anyways).

***SPOT THE DIFFERENCE!!!!!?????*


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Forgive me, I'd got my wires crossed. That was Wimbledon in the 60s.
> It was a huge live broadcast seen by millions though.


Yeah, and everyone celebrated. As everyone did in 1981. as everyone was sad when Diana died...


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Forgive me, I'd got my wires crossed. That was Wimbledon in the 60s.
> It was a huge live broadcast seen by millions though.


Moon landings?
Fake.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 29, 2016)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Yeah, and everyone celebrated. As everyone did in 1981. as everyone was sad when Diana died...


So, nothing much has changed. Why the fuck not?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 29, 2016)

oryx said:


> Speculation also rife on M***net. Someone saying Theresa May due to make a statement at 8am! How they purport to know that I do not know.
> 
> <mentally hums X Files theme tune>


It's made its way to Twitter


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It's made its way to Twitter


Oh yes.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Forgive me, I'd got my wires crossed. That was Wimbledon in the 60s.
> It was a huge live broadcast seen by millions though.


Time travel of 14 years and 29 days, at least.


----------



## oryx (Dec 29, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It's made its way to Twitter



'They're all wearing black on the news...'

<turns on iPlayer to see if actually true>

ETA the weatherman isn't.

ETA the newsreader isn't either!


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Dec 29, 2016)

Where are they getting their info from? Probably just looked up the protocol for when the queen dies and saw any announcement would not be made until 8am. 

Still, exciting stuff.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 29, 2016)

Lord Camomile said:


> It's made its way to Twitter




Tweeted by whom?? Some loon?? 

(noticed some scepticism even there anyway  -- see Helen Baxter's tweet   )


----------



## brogdale (Dec 29, 2016)

oryx said:


> 'They're all wearing black on the news...'
> 
> <turns on iPlayer to see if actually true>
> 
> ETA the weatherman isn't.


True.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 30, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Tweeted by whom?? Some loon??


Various different folk all repeating the same rumour, basically.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 30, 2016)

I've just had a crazy idea. Maybe she isn't dead and really does just have a head cold. Or is even pretending to be ill to get out of a lot of tedious family and public engagements.
Who hasn't done that? I know I have.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 30, 2016)

oryx said:


> 'They're all wearing black on the news...'
> 
> <turns on iPlayer to see if actually true>
> *
> ...



Are they .... Republicans, then?? On the BBC???


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 30, 2016)

The hashtag #mediablackout is trending quite heavily, which might suggest _something_ is going on, even if it isn't actually a death.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 30, 2016)

'might suggest' .......


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 30, 2016)

Everyone now convinced that the colour of the BBC staffs' outfits means there has been NO DEATH.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 30, 2016)

*'They' *had better start releasing her _official doppelganger_ out in public very very soon 

'People' might start getting 'ideas' if 'they' don't do 'that' ....


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

Did anyone else's lights just flicker? Or is it Thames House trying to close me do


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 30, 2016)

My lights are just fine 

<grabs beer  >


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

Back on.

Not looking good is it?
Google auto-complete says double dead!!


----------



## neonwilderness (Dec 30, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> I've just had a crazy idea. Maybe she isn't dead and really does just have a head cold. Or is even pretending to be ill to get out of a lot of tedious family and public engagements.
> Who hasn't done that? I know I have.


That's what _they_ want you to think


----------



## tim (Dec 30, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> I've just had a crazy idea. Maybe she isn't dead and really does just have a head cold. Or is even pretending to be ill to get out of a lot of tedious family and public engagements.
> Who hasn't done that? I know I have.



Reptilian stooge!


----------



## tim (Dec 30, 2016)

neonwilderness said:


> That's what _they_ want you to think



He is one of them.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

neonwilderness said:


> That's what _they_ want you to think


And the sheeple say the chemtrails aren't real, eh?


----------



## Nylock (Dec 30, 2016)

<partypooper>
Maybe the big news is she's going to abdicate...
</partypooper>


----------



## aqua (Dec 30, 2016)

Or no news at all...


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 30, 2016)

If only we still had no-nonsense news reporters like Chris Morris on air, he'd soon get to the bottom of this conspiracy.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 30, 2016)

Obviously she hasn't emerged from her cocoon yet  so they've delayed the announcement.


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 30, 2016)

William of Walworth said:


> Tweeted by whom?? Some loon??


A U75 member. (Having fun).


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

aqua said:


> Or no news at all...


Classic sign.


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 30, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Moon landings?
> Fake.


Try saying that to Louis Armstrong!


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Dec 30, 2016)

She'll officially pop her clogs on new years eve and the bbc will announce it on new years day. 
But like her official birthday it wont be the actual date of her death. I figure she's holed up in a freezer and the machine that is the monarchy is preparing for it all.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> She'll officially pop her clogs on new years eve and the bbc will announce it on new years day.
> But like her official birthday it wont be the actual date of her death. I figure she's holed up in a freezer and the machine that is the monarchy is preparing for it all.


Yes, this non-announcement pretty much confirms _*everything *_we've been saying.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

Oh, Mum!

*Dear Graham Norton: 'My son believes internet conspiracy theories'*



> Dear Graham
> 
> My son is 48 years old, with a good education, and apparently of sound mind. However, he has started developing some weird opinions about the world – ....


----------



## ruffneck23 (Dec 30, 2016)

paywalled


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

ruffneck23 said:


> paywalled


Only the reply.


----------



## J Ed (Dec 30, 2016)

Keep saying that she is dead and it will happen!


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Dec 30, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Keep saying that she is dead and it will happen!



Ha ha...well, it's going to happen someday...sooner rather than later. If this thread goes on it'll be right when it does happen..


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

J Ed said:


> Keep saying that she is dead and it will happen!


Keep the faith!


----------



## Fingers (Dec 30, 2016)

Buck Palace have confirmed that the Queen and Phil the Greek are still on their perches

Buckingham Palace Has Responded To Bizarre 'Queen Is Dead' Tweet | TheLADbible


----------



## andysays (Dec 30, 2016)

Fingers said:


> Buck Palace have confirmed that the Queen and Phil the Greek are still on their perches
> 
> Buckingham Palace Has Responded To Bizarre 'Queen Is Dead' Tweet | TheLADbible



Have claimed more like 



the Queen and the Duke were mystereriously unavailable for comment...


----------



## J Ed (Dec 30, 2016)

andysays said:


> Have claimed more like
> 
> View attachment 98017
> 
> the Queen and the Duke were mystereriously unavailable for comment...



Heavy colds more like being dead which is one condition that they cannot recover from!!!


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

andysays said:


> Have claimed more like
> 
> View attachment 98017
> 
> the Queen and the Duke were mystereriously unavailable for comment...


"were" alive?
Hitler & Thatcher "were" alive.


----------



## J Ed (Dec 30, 2016)

BREAKING: COMING LIVE FROM BUCKINGHAM PALACE - QUEEN ELIZABETH IS DEAD (PICTURES)


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

This twat made me laugh...


----------



## mauvais (Dec 30, 2016)

Nothing going on? _There's two suns!_


----------



## gosub (Dec 30, 2016)

mauvais said:


> Nothing going on? _There's two suns!_


Three if you count Edward.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

mauvais said:


> Nothing going on? _There's two suns!_



Good spot. And the statues painted black?


----------



## mauvais (Dec 30, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Good spot. And the statues painted black?


It's a workable Moffat-era _Doctor Who_ episode on all its own.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 30, 2016)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> She'll officially pop her clogs on new years eve and the bbc will announce it on new years day.
> But like her official birthday it





Fingers said:


> Buck Palace have confirmed that the Queen and Phil the Greek are still on their perches
> 
> Buckingham Palace Has Responded To Bizarre 'Queen Is Dead' Tweet | TheLADbible



Where are the photos of them holding todays newspapers?


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 30, 2016)

I reckon the establishment at the palace know something about Charles, basically that he intends to fuck things up. It is therefore imperative the queen outlives him.


----------



## gosub (Dec 30, 2016)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> She'll officially pop her clogs on new years eve and the bbc will announce it on new years day.
> But like her official birthday it wont be the actual date of her death. I figure she's holed up in a freezer and the machine that is the monarchy is preparing for it all.



If it was before,  what would happen to the New Year's Honours List?


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Dec 30, 2016)

gosub said:


> If it was before,  what would happen to the New Year's Honours List?



It'd be burreeed in the deeep soile with 'er majestee....


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2016)

gosub said:


> If it was before,  what would happen to the New Year's Honours List?


All money would be returned as the list would be cancelled


----------



## moochedit (Dec 30, 2016)

gosub said:


> If it was before,  what would happen to the New Year's Honours List?



Thats a point. How are "they" going to get out of the new years honours ceremony's?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2016)

moochedit said:


> Thats a point. How are "they" going to get out of the new years honours ceremony's?


The honours are announced but the actual presentation takes place in a couple of months time


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Dec 30, 2016)

Apparently Victoria Beckham broke with protocol and let slip that she was on the honours list. The shock of this ghastly misdemeanor will undoubtedly be the nail in the queen's coffin.


----------



## gosub (Dec 30, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> The honours are announced but the actual presentation takes place in a couple of months time



But if she isn't actually around .... or do we go down a route of "her dying wish was that posh spice got an OBE.."


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2016)

gosub said:


> But if she isn't actually around .... or do we go down a route of "her dying wish was that posh spice got an OBE.."


As per previous email, if Queen dies all money returned and list null and void


----------



## gosub (Dec 30, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> As per previous email, if Queen dies all money returned and list null and void


so rationally, she is still alive til at least the 2/1/17


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2016)

gosub said:


> so rationally, she is still alive til at least the 2/1/17


You might not be alive until 2/1/17. I might not. Who can say?


----------



## neonwilderness (Dec 30, 2016)

Fingers said:


> Buck Palace have confirmed that the Queen and Phil the Greek are still on their perches
> 
> Buckingham Palace Has Responded To Bizarre 'Queen Is Dead' Tweet | TheLADbible


The Queen is not dead, says Buckingham Palace


> A palace spokesperson told _The Independent _the Queen “continues to recover from a heavy cold”.



Case closed then


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 30, 2016)

And you trust the word of people who ordered the assassination of our much loved Queen of Hearts ?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 30, 2016)

neonwilderness said:


> The Queen is not dead, says Buckingham Palace
> 
> 
> Case closed then



Not until we see a photo of the queen with a runny nose and a bin full of klenex tissues, a mug of lemsip and todays papers in view.


----------



## gosub (Dec 30, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> And you trust the word of people who ordered the assassination of our much loved Queen of Hearts ?



 Perhaps said dastardly bastards gave HM the cold...All those "cure for the common cold" experiments at Porton Down were leading to this .  No not subtle enough, if Diana was anything to go by, what they have done is go round Sandringham and bought ALL the lemsip so the Queen can't have it.


----------



## peterkro (Dec 30, 2016)

Bollocks I give up, been pushing refresh on this page in the hope that the Reaper is going to run it down to the wire for 2016 I can't stand the strain I'm off for a kip (which I'll hopefully awaken from).


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 30, 2016)

neonwilderness said:


> The Queen is not dead, says Buckingham Palace
> 
> 
> Case closed then


They _would_ say that wouldn't they?


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 30, 2016)

moochedit said:


> Not until we see a photo of the queen with a runny nose and a bin full of klenex tissues, a mug of lemsip and todays papers in view.


Cheers. I now have an image I'd rather not have of Phil with a handful of used Kleenex...


----------



## Fez909 (Dec 30, 2016)

Look at the position of that star compared to the two suns!!!!








Illoooominati FUCKN CONFIRMED!!!!!!


----------



## neonwilderness (Dec 30, 2016)

danny la rouge said:


> They _would_ say that wouldn't they?


Are you suggesting that it might be some sort of cover story?


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 30, 2016)

neonwilderness said:


> Are you suggesting that it might be some sort of cover story?


I've said too much already.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2016)

peterkro said:


> Bollocks I give up, been pushing refresh on this page in the hope that the Reaper is going to run it down to the wire for 2016 I can't stand the strain I'm off for a kip (which I'll hopefully awaken from).


The Reaper is running it down to the wire. Already the psychopomp whippoorwills Charles keeps are keening.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 30, 2016)

neonwilderness said:


> The Queen is not dead, says Buckingham Palace
> 
> Case closed then


Never believe anything until it's officially denied.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 30, 2016)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> She'll officially pop her clogs on new years eve and the bbc will announce it on new years day.
> But like her official birthday it wont be the actual date of her death. I figure she's holed up in a freezer and the machine that is the monarchy is preparing for it all.



I reckon it could be jan 2nd for the announcement. Most people will be too hung over at 8am on jan 1st and jan 2nd is a bank holiday this year.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

moochedit said:


> I reckon it could be jan 2nd for the announcement. Most people will be too hung over at 8am on jan 1st and jan 2nd is a bank holiday this year.


Yep, important not to undermine those all-important last few days of debt-fuelled, over consumption.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> Never believe anything until it's officially denied.


Thing is...the 'palace official' does not say what the headline suggests; there was no denial of death at all.


> A palace spokesperson told _The Independent _the Queen *“continues to recover from a heavy cold”*.


I'd imagine that a corpse would cease to cough & sneeze.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Thing is...the 'palace official' does not say what the headline suggests; there was no denial of death at all.
> ​I'd imagine that a corpse would cease to cough & sneeze.


Maybe she doesn't know she's a corpse yet


----------



## brogdale (Dec 30, 2016)

Metro living up to its 'journalistic' reputation with twitter-ripped churn....made me laugh though...



> The royal death scare – and subsequent conspiracy theories about a media blackout – has since been rubbished by the Palace, but it did get a lot of people wondering.
> 
> It may be a little morbid, *but it is coming* – so here’s what would happen if the queen dies:


----------



## bi0boy (Dec 30, 2016)

neonwilderness said:


> The Queen is not dead, says Buckingham Palace
> 
> "A palace spokesperson told _The Independent _the Queen “continues to recover from a heavy cold".
> 
> Case closed then



I suspect a D-notice. The original quote was "The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh continue to recover from their heavy colds"

Since the Duke was laughing his way through the xmas day service I guess they didn't want people to compare the so-called recoveries and draw their own conclusions.


----------



## chilango (Dec 30, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Keep the faith!
> 
> View attachment 98016



I remember that


----------



## brogdale (Dec 31, 2016)

> A small number of honours are in the Queen’s personal gift, and included a knighthood for adventurer David Hempleman-Adams, 60, who *said he was astonished* to be made a knight commander of the Victorian order in recognition of his services to the Duke of Edinburgh’s award scheme.



He clearly knows.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Dec 31, 2016)

LynnDoyleCooper said:


> Best Xmas present ever... Parasitic Royals Top Trump cards
> 
> PARASITIC ROYALS (First Edition) – Meaty Trumps #007








That's next crimbo sorted then


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 31, 2016)

Mum pointing out that the Football Focus team are all wearing dark, sombre clothes. Lawrenson's basically in a funeral suit!


----------



## J Ed (Dec 31, 2016)

The Royals recover from their heavy colds...


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 31, 2016)

Has anyone else read Graham Greene's _The Human Factor?
_
I read it yesterday. (Well. And a bit the day before.)

All I'm saying is "Davis."

Bad cold, is it?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 31, 2016)

Queen may be too ill to attend church on New Year's Day, with decision expected on Sunday morning


----------



## mystic pyjamas (Dec 31, 2016)

moochedit said:


> Queen may be too ill to attend church on New Year's Day, with decision expected on Sunday morning


Curiouser and curiouser.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 31, 2016)

moochedit said:


> Queen may be too ill to attend church on New Year's Day, with decision expected on Sunday morning


Thumbs up - or thumbs down?


----------



## Kaka Tim (Dec 31, 2016)

tin foil hats aside - a prolonged bout of illness when you are in your 90s is a pretty good way to accelerate your meeting with the reaper. Two weeks seems a long time for a "heavy cold" but  if she has pneumonia, influenza and/or some corgi borne illness all bets are off tbh.


----------



## J Ed (Dec 31, 2016)

Still time to make it a special 2016!!!!!!!


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 31, 2016)

Kaka Tim said:


> tin foil hats aside - a prolonged bout of illness when you are in your 90s is a pretty good way to accelerate your meeting with the reaper. Two weeks seems a long time for a "heavy cold" but  if she has pneumonia, influenza and/or some corgi borne illness all bets are off tbh.


She is only being kept alive until she refuses to leave the throne to charles


----------



## gosub (Dec 31, 2016)

mystic pyjamas said:


> Curiouser and curiouser.



Not really.  I predict i won't be well enough to attend church (not that I do) tomorrow


----------



## sealion (Dec 31, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> She is only being kept in a freezer until she refuses to leave the throne to charles


c4u


----------



## stavros (Dec 31, 2016)

She probably just doesn't want to go to church. I mean fawning over some person born many years ago on account of who their father was...


----------



## brogdale (Dec 31, 2016)

stavros said:


> She probably just doesn't want to go to church. I mean fawning over some person born many years ago on account of who their father was...


Shirely not when your title is "*Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith".*


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 31, 2016)

brogdale said:


> Shirely not when your title is "*Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith".*


Shirely?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 31, 2016)

gosub said:


> Not really.  I predict i won't be well enough to attend church (not that I do) tomorrow


Then you should go to church and infect the faithful


----------



## brogdale (Dec 31, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Shirely?


Ooops; it's either down to the _exotic cheroot, _or I'm just _tired and emotional._


----------



## brogdale (Dec 31, 2016)

moochedit said:


> Queen may be too ill to attend church on New Year's Day, with decision expected on Sunday morning




> The 90-year-old monarch has *not been seen in public for 11 days* since she and Prince Philip fell ill with what was officially described as "heavy colds".





> The Queen and Philip are believed to have *spent most of the last week staying indoors *together at Sandringham House in north Norfolk. It is thought *the Queen has not been seen going around the 20,000-acre Royal estate in Norfolk as she often does when in residence.*


Simple explanation for all this.


----------



## gosub (Dec 31, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> Then you should go to church and infect the faithful



Hangovers aren't contagious


----------



## friedaweed (Dec 31, 2016)

I'm not having all this LIZard stuff...

Much more likely to be a turtle


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 31, 2016)

friedaweed said:


> I'm not having all this LIZard stuff...
> 
> Much more likely to be a turtle


She has the dead eyes of "sir" cliff richard


----------



## Raheem (Dec 31, 2016)

Pickman's model said:


> She has the dead eyes of "sir" cliff richard



All she needs now is Angela Rippon's earlobe, Leslie Grantham's testicles and a cauldron.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 31, 2016)

Raheem said:


> All she needs now is Angela Rippon's earlobe, Leslie Grantham's testicles and a cauldron.


She has them already


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 31, 2016)

Leslie Grantham? I missed that detail.

Fill me in by PM if you must.
ETA:  I don't even know who Leslie Grantham is. But sense that I should.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 31, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> ETA:  I don't even know who Leslie Grantham is. But sense that I should.


 He wasn't high up on the Google prompts but got him now.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 31, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> ETA:  I don't even know who Leslie Grantham is. But sense that I should.


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 31, 2016)

See above.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Dec 31, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> ETA:  I don't even know who Leslie Grantham is. But sense that I should.



Especially if you plan on sharing a cab with him in December


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 31, 2016)

DaveCinzano said:


> Especially if you plan on sharing a cab with him in December


Is it more exciting than The Archers?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Dec 31, 2016)

bluescreen said:


> Is it more exciting than The Archers?


Potentially terminally exciting


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 31, 2016)

DaveCinzano said:


> Especially if you plan on sharing a cab with him in December


Please don't ask me to switch the telly on. It's too difficult. I've been given two pages of instructions, which I have mislaid, telling me how to switch it on.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 1, 2017)

bluescreen said:


> Leslie Grantham? I missed that detail.
> 
> Fill me in by PM if you must.
> ETA:  I don't even know who Leslie Grantham is. But sense that I should.


He served his wife divorce papers on Xmas Day. The card.


----------



## bluescreen (Jan 1, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> He served his wife divorce papers on Xmas Day. The card.


Ugh. His sense of drama.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 1, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> She has the dead eyes of "sir" cliff richard


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

No one has seen her since earlier last year, I'm surprised there isn't more outrage tbh.


----------



## Celyn (Jan 1, 2017)

Well, she's not really all that much worth seeing, really, is she?

I reckon she has had a stroke and they're waiting to find out whether she'll recover enough to do demanding heavy work like sitting in 
a car and waving one hand.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Jan 1, 2017)

friedaweed said:


> I'm not having all this LIZard stuff...
> 
> Much more likely to be a turtle



The turtle is cute though.


----------



## Celyn (Jan 1, 2017)

Thimble Queen said:


> The turtle is cute though.


And is confident enough in its turtlosity not to wear silly yellow hats.

Could we have a turtle as the next queen? 

I don't think there is actually any law against it.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

Celyn said:


> I reckon she has had a stroke and they're waiting to find out whether she'll recover enough to do demanding heavy work like sitting in
> a car and waving one hand.



You could be right. Charles has said if he's not made regent he'll fuck shit up.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

it's officially "lingering" Queen will not attend New Year's Day service - BBC News


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)




----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 1, 2017)

Celyn said:


> Could we have a turtle as the next queen?
> 
> I don't think there is actually any law against it.



Sadly turtles are amphibians and the monarch should be reptilian apparently.


----------



## Red Sky (Jan 1, 2017)

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.  The Queen is not dead, says Buckingham Palace


----------



## wiskey (Jan 1, 2017)

looking decidedly suspect now


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

> A palace spokeswoman said the Queen was "still recuperating".



r*E(x)*cu*PER*at*I*ng

It's all in their, bar the "x".

"X" for ex-Monarch?


----------



## emanymton (Jan 1, 2017)

Has she popped her fucking clogs or not?


----------



## JuanTwoThree (Jan 1, 2017)




----------



## emanymton (Jan 1, 2017)

Maybe she has hung on until 2017, to give us a bright start to the year.


----------



## Schmetterling (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 98085



German bread; Paderborner, I believe.


----------



## J Ed (Jan 1, 2017)

It does seem that way


----------



## andysays (Jan 1, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> Sadly turtles are amphibians and *the monarch should be reptilian* apparently.



No problem there


> Turtles are reptiles of the order Testudines characterised by a special bony or cartilaginous shell developed from their ribs and acting as a shield. "Turtle" may refer to the order as a whole (American English) or to fresh-water and sea-dwelling testudines (British English).





> The order Testudines includes both extant (living) and extinct species. The earliest known members of this group date from 157 million years ago, making turtles one of the oldest reptile groups and a more ancient group than snakes or crocodilians. Of the 327 known species alive today, some are highly endangered.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

She's obviously got more than a heavy cold...


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> She's obviously got more than a heavy cold...


You know the Queen, she has more of anything than anyone else


----------



## neonwilderness (Jan 1, 2017)




----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

neonwilderness said:


>



They're even having to set up fake accounts to cover for her death!


----------



## neonwilderness (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> her death!


Worst hangover ever


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 1, 2017)

neonwilderness said:


> Worst hangover ever



Gin & Dubonet must be proper rocket fuel when mixed together.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 1, 2017)

she is on oxygen and is not breathing well- decisions made to keep this particular image out of the press


----------



## Ranbay (Jan 1, 2017)

Should her benefits be cut if she missses valuntier work?


----------



## chilango (Jan 1, 2017)

Well, I'm back to work on Tuesday so anytime after that would work for me, thanks. *tugs forelock*


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jan 1, 2017)

Ranbay said:


> Should her benefits be cut if she missses valuntier work?


Yep. She should be evicted from her publicly funded house as well.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jan 1, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> she is on oxygen and is not breathing well- decisions made to keep this particular image out of the press




[Citation Needed]


----------



## Mattym (Jan 1, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> You know the Queen, she has more of anything than anyone else



A serious case of ma'amflu.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

Mattym said:


> A serious case of ma'amflu.


 Now that is funny.....


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 1, 2017)

assuming that she is seriously ill - how do the palace back track on the "heavy cold" bullshit?


----------



## J Ed (Jan 1, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> assuming that she is seriously ill - how do the palace back track on the "heavy cold" bullshit?



She failed to recover?


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 1, 2017)

andysays said:


> No problem there



New Year's Day as any day is a school day on urban!


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> assuming that she is seriously ill - how do the palace back track on the "heavy cold" bullshit?



It got heavier?


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

This looks legit...


----------



## andysays (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> This looks legit...
> 
> View attachment 98094



Where, and perhaps even more importantly *when*, is that from?


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

andysays said:


> Where, and perhaps even more importantly *when*, is that from?


Next you'll tell me you don't believe in time travelling journalists!


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 1, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> It got heavier?



can you get a fatal cold?  "oh it turns out its was pneumonia after all" - not a good look in the truth and honesty stakes.


----------



## andysays (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Next you'll tell me you don't believe in time travelling journalists!









Maybe someone with photoshop skillz can knock up a picture of dead Liz with that caption


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> can you get a fatal cold?  "oh it turns out its was pneumonia after all" - not a good look in the truth and honesty stakes.


Yeh but she's gone private whereas I expect the nhs would have picked it up


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

Next time one of them's ill and goes to the edward vii hospital should be a campaign for the royal family to get treatment on the nhs - not good enough for them is it?


----------



## skyscraper101 (Jan 1, 2017)

andysays said:


> Where, and perhaps even more importantly *when*, is that from?



Thats Globe. Canada's version of National Enquirer which basically just produce sensationalist headlines akin to the Sunday Sport without the tits and arse. Some of the stories are proper batshit.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

andysays said:


> Maybe someone with photoshop skillz can knock up a picture of dead Liz with that caption


She's falling from the flying saucer


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

NHS Direct says don't bother to see your GP for a lingering cold until three weeks have passed.


----------



## andysays (Jan 1, 2017)

Can lizards even get colds? A quick google suggests I'm not the only one asking this question



The answer, unsurprisingly, appears to be that reptiles can't catch colds etc off humans. Make of that what you will...


----------



## Reiabuzz (Jan 1, 2017)

I doubt the old cunt uses the NHS. 

As much as I hope it's true that she's on the way out, it's just Charles next up, then Wills, then whatever the fucking sprog is called... And on and on.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> NHS Direct says don't bother to see your GP for a lingering cold until three weeks have passed.


Must be coming up to that now


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

Reiabuzz said:


> I doubt the old cunt uses the NHS.


No shit sherlock  do keep up.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

andysays said:


> Can lizards even get colds? A quick google suggests I'm not the only one asking this question
> 
> View attachment 98097
> 
> The answer, unsurprisingly, appears to be that reptiles can't catch colds etc off humans. Make of that what you will...


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

ITN tries it's best to convince us that she's still with us...



> _Asked how her mother was, *Princess Anne told onlookers "better"*, according to the Mirror.
> 
> Princess Anne was accompanied by her husband Vice Admiral Sir Timothy Laurence, and he added the Queen was feeling "*not too bad*."_


Not exactly ringing endorsements of health? I can easily imagine that the morose Anne might well think it _better_ if her mother was gone.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> can you get a fatal cold?  "oh it turns out its was pneumonia after all" - not a good look in the truth and honesty stakes.



Well, it's a virus and if your immune system is 90 or not functioning well you might end up not being able to fight it off...


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

I am hearing from my source that things took a turn for the worse this afternoon.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> I am hearing from my source that things took a turn for the worse this afternoon.


Worse than dead?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Worse than dead?


She is shub-niggurath, the black goat of the woods with a thousand young


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> She is shub-niggurath, the black goat of the woods with a thousand young


HTLTU


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> HTLTU


Helps if you post words rather than just banging the keyboard


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Helps if you post words rather than just banging the keyboard


Or...you could have looked it up?


----------



## petee (Jan 1, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> I am hearing from my source that things took a turn for the worse this afternoon.


your source?


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

Even Royal Correspondents like _Colin_ Hunt seem to be smelling a rat...


> For a second time, during the holiday season, senior royals have attended church.
> 
> For a second time, the Queen has been a notable absentee.
> 
> ...


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

petee said:


> your source?


Impeccable, I bet.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Impeccable, I bet.



I know certain people.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> I know certain people.


Don't ever feel pressurised to reveal sources.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Don't ever feel pressurised to reveal sources.



Exactly, they'll prove invaluable in the coming months. For example I am told the coronation is already being discretely discussed.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Exactly, they'll prove invaluable in the coming months. For example I am told the coronation is already being discretely discussed.


Discreetly.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Discreetly.



you don't know what these people are capable of.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Even Royal Correspondents like _Colin_ Hunt seem to be smelling a rat...
> ​


She's had fucking decades to explore Sandringham and if she hasn't done it by now she's left it a bit late


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 1, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> She's had fucking decades to explore Sandringham and if she hasn't done it by now she's left it a bit late



She's probably got her servants to explore it for her in previous years, and report back their findings.


----------



## Sasaferrato (Jan 1, 2017)

Reiabuzz said:


> I doubt the old cunt uses the NHS.
> 
> As much as I hope it's true that she's on the way out, it's just Charles next up, then Wills, then whatever the fucking sprog is called... And on and on.



I suggest you go to Thailand and bang on about their monarch, loudly and publicly.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 1, 2017)

Sasaferrato said:


> I suggest you go to Thailand and bang on about their monarch, loudly and publicly.


We're here though, not Thailand, and if we want to thumb our noses at the monarch, we will, gladly. 
Fuck your deference, quite frankly, fuck it in the ear.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 1, 2017)

Still stubbornly hanging onto my anti-conspiranoid conviction that the Queen is still alive for now .

I'd rather risk being accused (by idiots) of being among the 'establishment-believing sheeple' than offer even a tiny scintilla of encouragment to conspiranoid idiots.

All this pisstaking is a good laugh and all that, but it just offers cover to loons.

(the above is perfectly compatible with being an anti-deference Republican who finds the Monarchy a complete bore/anchronism that shouldn't be there  )


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Still stubbornly hanging onto my anti-conspiranoid conviction that the Queen is still alive for now .
> 
> I'd rather risk being accused (by idiots) of being among the 'establishment-believing sheeple' than offer even a tiny scintilla of encouragment to conspiranoid idiots.
> 
> All this pisstaking is a good laugh and all that, but it just offers cover to loons.


It's just a bit of fun


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 1, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> It's just a bit of fun




I know. So's spotting the actual conspiraloon in this thread. There's definitely been one or two hovering around.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> I know. So's spotting the actual conspiraloon in this thread. There's definitely been one or two hovering around.


I had assumed everyone was in one the joke.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 1, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> I had assumed everyone was in one the joke.




Best not. There's definitely some people around who *really are* convinced she's gone. I for one am sceptical that this thread is _completely_ free of them either.

(I really really do hate conspiracy theorists, so apologies all round for that getting in the way of my enjoyment here)

TBF there's been a  good few funny as fuck comments  ...  but still ....


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> It's just a bit of fun


A bit of fun  it's much more than that


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jan 1, 2017)

Failing Charles coming on and stating "this is rumour control" I'll doubt we hear much until she's better or actually dead


What are Urbans plans to avoid the gushing after the karking? I'm hoping she holds out till mid February as I'll be on holiday. If not emergency trip away is called for.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

Artaxerxes said:


> What are Urbans plans to avoid the gushing after the karking?


Step to one side to avoid the blood


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 1, 2017)

Artaxerxes said:


> I'll doubt we hear much *until she's better *or actually dead



Almost the very first mention I've seen on this thread of that outcome!!  



> *What are Urbans plans to avoid the gushing after the karking? *I'm hoping she holds out till mid February as I'll be on holiday. If not emergency trip away is called for.



Climb a mountain in Wales (Penyfan? or a less popular one) on the day of the funeral. Worked for me on Charles's/Diana's wedding day -- I climbed Snowdon with a  group of mates then


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Jan 1, 2017)

It's hardly a massive conspiracy theory that an unwell 90 year old may die as an outcome ffs.


----------



## Schmetterling (Jan 1, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> I know certain people.



Is that you, Diana?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Almost the very first mention I've seen on this thread of that outcome!!



Urban is a land of optimists.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 1, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> It's hardly a massive conspiracy theory that an unwell 90 year old may die as an outcome ffs.



Have I said different?

What I objected to more was people *automatically assuming* she's dead with no evidence (yet), and the suggestion that 'they' are covering it up. _Possible_ sure, but again no evidence (yet).

Like I said, I don't like actual conspiracy theorists -- *most* people on this thread are just pisstaking, sure, and are not CTers ... but not all IMO.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Have I said different?
> 
> What I objected to more was people *automatically assuming* she's dead with no evidence (yet), and the suggestion that 'they' are covering it up. _Possible_ sure, but again no evidence (yet).
> 
> Like I said, I don't like actual conspiracy theorists -- *most* people on this thread are just pisstaking, sure, and are not CTers ... but not all IMO.



So who are the CTists on this thread then?


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

me for one


----------



## maomao (Jan 1, 2017)

It's a conspiracy to make you all believe a Conspiracy Theory. You've been HOODWINKED SHEEPLE !!!1!


----------



## Septimus Rufiji (Jan 1, 2017)

I'm also a conspiracy theorist but I haven't been posting because _they're_ watching


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> A bit of fun  it's much more than that


Exactly; it's a load of fun.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> What I objected to more was people automatically assuming she's dead _*with no evidence*_ (yet), and the suggestion that 'they' are covering it up. _Possible_ sure, but again no evidence (yet).


Tbf to the TFH fraternity, for 12 days (or more) there's been no evidence of the monarch being alive.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 1, 2017)

I guess this is the longest period the monarch hasn't appeared in public since George VI was dying of lung cancer, and we all know how that ended up in the end.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jan 1, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> I guess this is the longest period the monarch hasn't appeared in public since George VI was dying of lung cancer, and we all know how that ended up in the end.




This one should be fine as long as noone lets Charles administer the sedatives.


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

maomao said:


> It's a conspiracy to make you all believe a Conspiracy Theory. You've been HOODWINKED SHEEPLE !!!1!



Well have *you* seen her? Come on, come on have you?

You haven't have you?


----------



## pennimania (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Almost the very first mention I've seen on this thread of that outcome!!
> 
> 
> 
> Climb a mountain in Wales (Penyfan? or a less popular one) on the day of the funeral. Worked for me on Charles's/Diana's wedding day -- I climbed Snowdon with a  group of mates then



I didn't wake up until after William/Kate, and I still haven't seen any footage of said ghastly event.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Have I said different?
> 
> What I objected to more was people *automatically assuming* she's dead with no evidence (yet), and the suggestion that 'they' are covering it up. _Possible_ sure, but again no evidence (yet).
> 
> Like I said, I don't like actual conspiracy theorists -- *most* people on this thread are just pisstaking, sure, and are not CTers ... but not all IMO.


it's just a bit of fun.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 1, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> So who are the CTists on this thread then?



Work it out for yourself. It's not that hard. 

Reason I'm not helping you is that I'm off to bed imminently. But mostly because we're just going to have to disagree about conspiracy theories/theorists being utterly irrelevant here. 

A 'Queen Dead?' thread with a shit-tonne of pisstaking but no facts/evidence, just speculation (most pisstaking, some not, like I said, work it out). And that's not ever *also* going to be a magnet for any CTers at all? Pull the other leg its got bells on.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 1, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> it's just a bit of fun.



Not 'just' IMO. Like I said before, there's been some funny as fuck posts true, but its _also_ a conspiracism-magnet of a thread.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> it's just a bit of fun.


It's much more than that


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 1, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Not 'just' IMO. Like I said before, there's been some funny as fuck posts true, but its _also_ a conspiracism-magnet of a thread.


Hilarity > earnestness


----------



## kenny g (Jan 1, 2017)

This is getting rediculous. She has not been seen for 12 days. The Sun 'Royal Correspondent' tells us not to worry and shares a photo first released days previously... Apparently when May went to stay with HMQ at Balmoral HMQ was furious May wouldn't discuss the negotiating terms for Brexit with her. This was leaked to the Times. And since then we have been constantly told HMQ is off with what is rapidly becoming one of the worlds longest ever colds...There is a significant constitutional collapse on the horizon..


----------



## pogofish (Jan 1, 2017)

One thing that has struck me about the whole affair is that traditionally, "The King is Dead" will be largest type any UK newspaper will use.

So does this mean that come the day, they will follow convention and use a slightly smaller size for her Maj?


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

kenny g said:


> This is getting rediculous. She has not been seen for 12 days.



there's been times i've not been seen for 12 days  

[checks pulse]


----------



## brogdale (Jan 1, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> Hilarity > earnestness





two sheds said:


> there's been times i've not been seen for 12 days
> 
> [checks pulse]


Properly invisible?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Properly invisible?


In solitary no doubt


----------



## Casually Red (Jan 1, 2017)

I had a theory shed karked and they were keeping it quiet until the Celtic vs Rangers match was over , because that would have been fucking waaay mental , but no . My theory , on this rare occasion, did not hold water .


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

Casually Red said:


> shed karked



nooooooooooooooooooooo


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Properly invisible?



well the dog's seen me but she'll keep shtum


----------



## Casually Red (Jan 1, 2017)

Whoops


----------



## moochedit (Jan 1, 2017)

Queen Elizabeth Sends Video Message To Canada After Skipping New Year’s Day Outing


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

kenny g said:


> This is getting rediculous. She has not been seen for 12 days. The Sun 'Royal Correspondent' tells us not to worry and shares a photo first released days previously... Apparently when May went to stay with HMQ at Balmoral HMQ was furious May wouldn't discuss the negotiating terms for Brexit with her. This was leaked to the Times. And since then we have been constantly told HMQ is off with what is rapidly becoming one of the worlds longest ever colds...There is a significant constitutional collapse on the horizon..



I think I've been on a queenie too...I've not been seen outdoors for 11 days...
Oh dear..I may be dead...*

*shrieks


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Queen Elizabeth Sends Video Message To Canada After Skipping New Year’s Day Outing



yes but what was the last datable news item she actually referred to ?


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Queen Elizabeth Sends Video Message To Canada After Skipping New Year’s Day Outing


 Filmed the same day as the new year speech.


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> Filmed the same day as the new year speech.



yeh yeh you say that


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

I figure she'll hold out til 20th of January at 7 am.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

two sheds said:


> yeh yeh you say that


No..the article did...
Those speeches are pre recorded before Christmas.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 1, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> I figure she'll hold out til 20th of January at 7 am.



When trump becomes prez?


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> No..the article did...
> Those speeches are pre recorded before Christmas.



dead then


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 1, 2017)

moochedit said:


> When trump becomes prez?


 Yup


----------



## Casually Red (Jan 1, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Queen Elizabeth Sends Video Message To Canada After Skipping New Year’s Day Outing




This is getting as silly as Bin Laden .


----------



## two sheds (Jan 1, 2017)

Casually Red said:


> This is getting as silly as Bin Laden .



Bin Brenda


----------



## bluescreen (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Have I said different?
> 
> What I objected to more was people *automatically assuming* she's dead with no evidence (yet), and the suggestion that 'they' are covering it up. _Possible_ sure, but again no evidence (yet).
> 
> Like I said, I don't like actual conspiracy theorists -- *most* people on this thread are just pisstaking, sure, and are not CTers ... but not all IMO.


What are we to make of the fact that one of our most vocal resident CTers hasn't yet posted on this thread?  

IANAD so I looked this up:


> Elders infected with rhinovirus are significantly more likely than their younger counterparts to be *forced to restrict their activities* or require consultation with a medical professional. Rhinoviruses cause more lower respiratory illnesses in the elderly, increasing the likelihood that these patients will need to see a physician and restrict physical activity. *The greatest concern about rhinovirus infection in the elderly is its propensity to aggravate other conditions, setting the stage for increased morbidity and mortality*. *Individuals older than 75 years are 50 times more likely to acquire community- acquired pneumonia than younger adults and are significantly more likely to die as a result*.


 Rhinovirus in the Elderly: The Commonest of Colds


----------



## Yossarian (Jan 2, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Queen Elizabeth Sends Video Message To Canada After Skipping New Year’s Day Outing



With enough video messages they could be able to keep things quiet until garden party season, when they'll have to either announce the death or pull some Weekend At Lizzie's shenanigans.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 2, 2017)

Yossarian said:


> With enough video messages they could be able to keep things quiet until garden party season, when they'll have to either announce the death or pull some Weekend At Lizzie's shenanigans.



I wouldn't be surprised if they top someone else to act as an excuse for cancelling events. There is a probably a reason why William is keeping his kids at their mum's family home as much as possible.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 2, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> There is a probably a reason why William is keeping his kids at their mum's family home as much as possible.



That registered with me too. I thought it odd there were no photos of them going to visit granny in the palace....after all a cold, even a heavy one, isn't enough to stop one seeing the grandkids at Christmas, surely?
It's pretty odd.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Work it out for yourself. It's not that hard.
> 
> Reason I'm not helping you is that I'm off to bed imminently. But mostly because we're just going to have to disagree about conspiracy theories/theorists being utterly irrelevant here.
> 
> A 'Queen Dead?' thread with a shit-tonne of pisstaking but no facts/evidence, just speculation (most pisstaking, some not, like I said, work it out). And that's not ever *also* going to be a magnet for any CTers at all? Pull the other leg its got bells on.



If I was able to work it out for myself I wouldn't have asked. Plus it's you making the claim. On the one hand you're lamenting others for saying unsubstantiated stuff and then you do exactly the same thing!!!


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 2, 2017)

Come on sheeple, it's obvious who the real conspiracists are on this thread. Open your eyes before it's too late!


----------



## Casually Red (Jan 2, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Come on sheeple, it's obvious who the real conspiracists are on this thread. Open your eyes before it's too late!









Blatant chemtrails .


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Come on sheeple, it's obvious who the real conspiracists are on this thread. Open your eyes before it's too late!



As I never said, or meant, but do fill yer boots.

Excellently plausible speculation in post 743 by the way  

May very easily be true, even. Or equally and boringly, not so much.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 2, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> Hilarity > earnestness



Show working 

earnestness = hilarity


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

Casually Red said:


> Blatant chemtrails .


Good spot! Something very odd about that photo...
*B*lue, Wh*i*te & Re*d!
*
B, i, d.

Brenda is dead!!!!


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

More evidence-free but might-possibly-be-true speculation : that one of the richest people in the UK can very easily afford the best medical treatment money can buy, so that, however ill she is, she might end up recovering sufficiently not to die (yet).

I may well be wrong here. Or just possibly right. Who knows?  Not me. Nor anyone else ...


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

danny la rouge said:


> Show working
> 
> earnestness = hilarity


Or...hilarity  earnestness?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> *'They' *had better start releasing her _official doppelganger_ out in public very very soon
> 
> 'People' might start getting 'ideas' if 'they' don't do 'that' ....



A while back, the above, but just a reminder to certain posters


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 2, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Or...hilarity View attachment 98145 earnestness?


Or 

Hilarity x earnestness = ∞


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

danny la rouge said:


> Or
> 
> Hilarity x earnestness = ∞


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 2, 2017)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 98147


Ou really should do something about those boils


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Ou really should do something about those boils


See #749


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

Isn't it that MPs aren't allowed to openly speculate about the political views of a _*LIVING *_ monarch?


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 2, 2017)

danny la rouge said:


> Show working
> 
> earnestness = hilarity


not intentionally!


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 2, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Ou really should do something about those boils


out of order


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

There you go ... (post 755)


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> There you go ... (post 755)


keep it up then, stop ruining the vibe with your srsnss


----------



## Septimus Rufiji (Jan 2, 2017)

two sheds said:


> Bin Brenda



Bren Laden shurely


----------



## hash tag (Jan 2, 2017)

I've just read that she was last seen on December 9. Same article also quotes Ann as saying her ma is feeling better.


----------



## J Ed (Jan 2, 2017)

Anyone else think maybe Queen is just on a massive comedown?


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 2, 2017)

J Ed said:


> Anyone else think maybe Queen is just on a massive comedown?



or just discovered Netflix and is binge watching Prison Break


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jan 2, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Isn't it that MPs aren't allowed to openly speculate about the political views of a _*LIVING *_ monarch?



I think that Occam's Razor needs to be put in play here, and we just have to accept that Barwell is a rodent-faced fuckwit.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 2, 2017)

The reason for her death has been published on the BBC news site - she was apparently beaten to a pulp by a second-rate actor during some kind of BBC talent show by the sounds of it:


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 2, 2017)

ok they've just changed to story now to something about television viewing figures, I pity the employee who let the truth slip out.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> or just discovered Netflix and is binge watching Prison Break



Maybe she's been working with Nicholas Witchell and other BBC sycophants on that essential *'Greatest hits, 1952-2019'* compilation


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

Or funeral planning with Charlie. His, that is


----------



## stavros (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> More evidence-free but might-possibly-be-true speculation : that one of the richest people in the UK can very easily afford the best medical treatment money can buy



Back in the stone age, queens could afford nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol, c-c-c-c-c-cocaine.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

stavros said:


> Back in the stone age, queens could afford nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol, c-c-c-c-c-cocaine.





Who'd want to 'recover', and then have to return into public life, from that Xmas cocktail?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Hilarity > earnestness


 (+ brogdale, danny la rouge  )

What's that you were saying?


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> (+ brogdale, danny la rouge  )
> 
> What's that you were saying?




> ...a series of royals were ill over the holidays: Queen Sonja of Norway cancelled Christmas activities because of a serious cold, Queen Silvia of Sweden was hospitalized for two days, also because of a cold; former Queen Paola of Belgium fell on a staircase and fractured a vertebrae while Grand Duke Jean of Luxembourg was hospitalized following bronchitis.




Co-ordinated alien abduction/experimentation?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

brogdale 
Co-ordinated or Co-incidented ?? 

Co-ck-up or Co-nspiracy?? 

*WHO KNOWS!!!???*


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> (+ brogdale, danny la rouge  )
> 
> What's that you were saying?


i beg your pardon?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

See post 778 

And others ...


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> See post 778
> 
> And others ...


You seem a little happier with this thread now?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 2, 2017)

brogdale said:


> You seem a little happier with this thread now?



Delighted. For now ...


----------



## brogdale (Jan 2, 2017)

Seen leaving the palace....


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 3, 2017)

I'm gonna guess that's just how she's dressing now.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 3, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I'm gonna guess that's just how she's dressing now.


Wrong. Just for special occasions.


----------



## Smoking kills (Jan 3, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Seen leaving the palace....
> 
> View attachment 98186


Assassins! Look at her handbag!


----------



## Casually Red (Jan 3, 2017)

brogdale said:


> ​
> 
> Co-ordinated alien abduction/experimentation?



Sounds like emergency illuminati summit . A big load of lizards in capes round a big table demanding explanations from the Clinton lizard why she failed ...again . The supply of synthetic human skin has nearly run out and it was clintons job to sort that . Plus something to do with all the celebrities dying . They're feeling cornered .They're cracking up , the illuminated lizards .


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 3, 2017)

Walk towards the light liz, walk towards the light....


----------



## brogdale (Jan 3, 2017)




----------



## moochedit (Jan 3, 2017)

brogdale said:
			
		

> Co-ordinated alien abduction/experimentation?





William of Walworth said:


> brogdale
> Co-ordinated or Co-incidented ??



You are saying all these alien abductions of kings and queens are co-incedences? How many ufos are there? Surely its more likely to be a co-ordinated plot?


----------



## stavros (Jan 3, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Seen leaving the palace....
> 
> View attachment 98186



She looks like she got a bollocking from Brenda.

"You made who foreign secretary?! You might as well have given it to Phil!"


----------



## Casually Red (Jan 4, 2017)

I'm starting to suspect there's been a grave mishap involving the groom of the stool . Frankie Boyle once observed,  uncharacteristically uncharitably, that as a German married to a Greek the royal ring piece must resemble a busted cat flap . Has the groom of the stool, perchance,  made a fist of it ? Due to not enough bowing and too much scraping , are we faced with another _anus horriblus_ ?


----------



## Celyn (Jan 4, 2017)

Also, where is Charles here? Will he not show up to bring soup and nice things to his sick old mum?


----------



## tim (Jan 4, 2017)

Celyn said:


> Also, where is Charles here? Will he not show up to bring soup and nice things to his sick old mum?



Too busy having fittings for his coronation robes


----------



## JuanTwoThree (Jan 4, 2017)

Too busy having fittings for his coronation skin


----------



## tim (Jan 4, 2017)

JuanTwoThree said:


> Too busy having fittings for his coronation skin



He's shat-spun himself a cocoon and is currently pupating inside it.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 4, 2017)

Celyn said:


> Also, where is Charles here? Will he not show up to bring soup and nice things to his sick old mum?



The queen will have eaten charles before she began to shape shift into his form.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 4, 2017)

moochedit said:


> The queen will have eaten charles before she began to shape shift into his form.



That's the most plausible scenario I've heard.


----------



## JuanTwoThree (Jan 4, 2017)

That's the only possible explanation.  She ate her first-born when his flesh began to be nicely gamey and then moved into his exo-skeleton. Any future appearances of the Q will be of her humanoid exo-skeleton going through its routines: wave, shake hands, dub, smile.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 4, 2017)

JuanTwoThree said:


> That's the only possible explanation.  She ate her first-born when his flesh began to be nicely gamey and then moved into his exo-skeleton. Any future appearances of the Q will be of her humanoid exo-skeleton going through its routines: wave, shake hands, dub, smile.



As has happened for over 1000 years. Every so often it has to take on a new form so that the sheeple are fooled.


----------



## Dogsauce (Jan 4, 2017)

What's the most distasteful thing we can get to No.1 in the charts after she's keeled over? The Pistols would be too obvious. Maybe Kool & The Gang's 'Celebration'?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 4, 2017)

Dogsauce said:


> What's the most distasteful thing we can get to No.1 in the charts after she's keeled over? The Pistols would be too obvious. Maybe Kool & The Gang's 'Celebration'?




Bet the obvious ones disapear from itunes, amazon etc that week.


----------



## Yossarian (Jan 4, 2017)

Dogsauce said:


> What's the most distasteful thing we can get to No.1 in the charts after she's keeled over? The Pistols would be too obvious. Maybe Kool & The Gang's 'Celebration'?


----------



## hash tag (Jan 4, 2017)

Runours of ones death are unfounded The DeathList 2017


----------



## stavros (Jan 4, 2017)

Dogsauce said:


> What's the most distasteful thing we can get to No.1 in the charts after she's keeled over? The Pistols would be too obvious. Maybe Kool & The Gang's 'Celebration'?



_Elizabeth My Dear_, by the Stone Roses?

Other than that, all that spring to mind are horrifically sexist ghettotech songs, e.g. _Fuck You Hoe_.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 4, 2017)

Queen Elizabeth II returns to her royal duties following health scare


----------



## brogdale (Jan 4, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Queen Elizabeth II returns to her royal duties following health scare


How odd that they wouldn't seek to substantiate such claims with photographic evidence.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 4, 2017)

brogdale said:


> How odd that they wouldn't seek to substantiate such claims with photographic evidence.



They will as soon as they are happy with the cgi quality and got the voice right.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 4, 2017)

When Can We Expect to See Queen Elizabeth Again?

According  to this Not seen since dec 8th   and she normally stays at sandringham until feb 6th


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 5, 2017)

see if she makes it to church on sunday.

Anyway - any sort of prolonged illness at her age is not good - and often leaves the individual weaker.


----------



## Fez909 (Jan 5, 2017)

stavros said:


> _Elizabeth My Dear_, by the Stone Roses?
> 
> Other than that, all that spring to mind are horrifically sexist ghettotech songs, e.g. _Fuck You Hoe_.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 5, 2017)

what many fail to understand is that the lizards themselves have rivalries. For instance when James the second was overthrown by william the third. They basically just shed their skins


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 5, 2017)

Word reaches me that you can no longer book Westminster abbey on 14 June 2018, after Charles' private secretary Clive Alderton was spotted making a booking there. Charles has also ordered what can only be described as ceremonial robes.


----------



## tim (Jan 5, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Word reaches me that you can no longer book Westminster abbey on 14 June 2018, after Charles' private secretary Clive Alderton was spotted making a booking there. Charles has also ordered what can only be described as ceremonial robes.



That would piss off Putin.


----------



## Sue (Jan 5, 2017)

Do the Australians know something we don't..? 

Australian monarchists urged to brace for the death of the Queen


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 5, 2017)

I am guessing she was actually shot, this article is part of the coverup

The Queen almost SHOT by guard after she took 3am Buckingham Palace stroll | Daily Mail Online


----------



## brogdale (Jan 5, 2017)

*Who was behind ‘Queen is dead’ conspiracy hoax?*


----------



## brogdale (Jan 5, 2017)

Excuses looking increasingly incredible...


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 5, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Word reaches me that you can no longer book Westminster abbey on 14 June 2018, after Charles' private secretary Clive Alderton was spotted making a booking there. Charles has also ordered what can only be described as ceremonial robes.



Not another wedding to pay for?


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 5, 2017)

Following the shooting, Charles has beefed up security even though it means changing an ancient tradition. 

Changing the Guard switches to fixed days amid tightened security - BBC News


----------



## brogdale (Jan 5, 2017)

Pretty much total confirmation that monarch expired last year!!!



> *Queen Elizabeth II cannot die. Not now. Not in 2017*


----------



## stavros (Jan 5, 2017)

Re. songs, how about an altered version of Prince's _Sister_, called "Cousin" instead?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 5, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> *Word reaches me* that you can no longer book Westminster abbey on 14 June 2018, after Charles' private secretary Clive Alderton was spotted making a booking there. Charles has also ordered what can only be described as ceremonial robes.



Source?


----------



## tim (Jan 5, 2017)

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks so Perhaps, Martin returned to form, taking Benda's comments about still being alive as a direct challenge. 

It can't have helped that she chose to compound the humiliation of being the Sovereign Lady to whom his salary and status obliges him to kow-tow by bragging about the number of birthdays she'd just had.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 5, 2017)

tim said:


> They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks so Perhaps, Martin returned to form, taking Benda's comments about still being alive as a direct challenge.
> 
> It can't have helped that she chose to compound the humiliation of being the Sovereign Lady to whom his salary and status obliges him to kow-tow by bragging about the number of birthdays she'd just had.



Animatronic puppet, clearly.
It just needs to programmed with a few set phrases and no one would notice


----------



## J Ed (Jan 5, 2017)

You know, most people who are alive don't actually feel the need to confirm that they are alive. Very defensive really, could she actually be dead?!


----------



## tim (Jan 5, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> Animatronic puppet, clearly.
> It just needs to programmed with a few set phrases and no one would notice




Martin or Madge?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 5, 2017)

28th June 2016, that clip from tim (post 324). Which is not immediately obvious when you click it.

Of course the fact that tim has posted a six month old clip has *got* to be proof that Her Maj is actually dead now ...


----------



## tim (Jan 5, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Source?



Chatham House rules apply. 

Anyway his sources are always admirable


----------



## tim (Jan 5, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> 28th June 2016, that clip from tim (post 324). Which is not immediately obvious when you click it.
> 
> Of course the fact that tim has posted a six month old clip has *got* to be proof that Her Maj is actually dead now ...




I think it was very sporting of her to set Martin the challenge and to his credit that he took her up on it.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 5, 2017)

tim said:


> I think it was very sporting of her to set Martin the challenge and to his credit that he took her up on it.



The smarter the point, the smaller the evidence ...


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 5, 2017)

tim said:


> Martin or Madge?


Who's Martin?


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

Orang Utan  : McGuinness .... hence  post 830 ...


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Source?


impeccable


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> 28th June 2016, that clip from tim (post 324). Which is not immediately obvious when you click it.
> 
> Of course the fact that tim has posted a six month old clip has *got* to be proof that Her Maj is actually dead now ...



This is all very amusing but the last time a monarch wasn't seen in public for this long, it was because they were dying.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Orang Utan  : McGuinness .... hence  post 830 ...



Grrr .....stop doing that

(On a phone you cant see the post numbers.)


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 6, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Grrr .....stop doing that
> 
> (On a phone you cant see the post numbers.)


You can if you turn it sideways, but, yeah, tis annoying


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

Hands up, who thinks she's croaked?


----------



## Santino (Jan 6, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> You can if you turn it sideways


It's no good, I can still see his posts.


----------



## Teaboy (Jan 6, 2017)

This could be the lucky break May is looking for.  She may be able to delay article 51 or at the very least distract everyone from the hopeless mess that is her handling of Brexit.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> This could be the lucky break May is looking for.  She may be able to delay article 51 or at the very least distract everyone from the hopeless mess that is her handling of Brexit.


Area 51?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 6, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> You can if you turn it sideways, but, yeah, tis annoying


doesnt work for me but i shall see if i can tinker with the settings.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 6, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Following the shooting, Charles has beefed up security even though it means changing an ancient tradition.
> 
> Changing the Guard switches to fixed days amid tightened security - BBC News


 
Heydrich refused to take on extra security when he was driving around Prague in his Merc soft top and that worked out OK. Charles should follow his example.


----------



## Teaboy (Jan 6, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Area 51?


Ah.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> Ah.


Home of the grey, alien, shape-shifting lizards of the illuminati?


----------



## Idris2002 (Jan 6, 2017)

Wasn't one of the recent kings given a lethal injection to ease his passage into the afterlife?


----------



## Idris2002 (Jan 6, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Heydrich refused to take on extra security when he was driving around Prague in his Merc soft top and that worked out OK. Charles should follow his example.


"Hegel says somewhere that. . . "


----------



## ice-is-forming (Jan 6, 2017)

tim said:


> They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks so Perhaps, Martin returned to form, taking Benda's comments about still being alive as a direct challenge.
> 
> It can't have helped that she chose to compound the humiliation of being the Sovereign Lady to whom his salary and status obliges him to kow-tow by bragging about the number of birthdays she'd just had.




Fez909  she's nicked your motor!


----------



## Fez909 (Jan 6, 2017)

ice-is-forming said:


> Fez909  she's nicked your motor!


----------



## magneze (Jan 6, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> This could be the lucky break May is looking for.  She may be able to delay article 51 or at the very least distract everyone from the hopeless mess that is her handling of Brexit.


Fantastic. The best conspiracy theories are the ones that might just be true.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 6, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> This could be the lucky break May is looking for.



Quite.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

Santino said:


> It's no good, I can still see his posts.




Sincerely -- please do absolutely fuck off.

Or if you actually do dislike me *that *much, *explain *exactly why. Now.

(Very successfully provoked, btw  -- but I've rarely *if ever* rarely seen a post from you, Santino, in relation to *any *posts from me, that doesn't show dislike of that kind  )

So yes. Fuck off. Twat. 

(and please *enjoy* your success at pissing me off that much while you're at it).

And *all* 'likers' of the above post by Santino , explain *exactly* why you hate the fuck out of me too. Cunts. 

</channelling my Urban persona 2005/2006ish here, but still. Fuck off. Twats!   >


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Sincerely -- please do absolutely fuck off.
> 
> Or if you actually do dislike me *that *much, *explain *exactly why. Now.
> 
> ...


No need for language like that pal; show a bit of respect; grieving members of the RF could well be reading this stuff.


----------



## Dan U (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Wales. 

Just saying


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

Dan U said:


> William of Wales.
> 
> Just saying


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

That was a thoroughly out of order post by Santino.

I was joining in fine with this thread -- until I saw several other Urbans 'liking' it.  That is,  joining in with him ... ganging up ... .

Santino  -- you still owe me an explanation. I've rarely if ever on Urban seen a post by you that relates to my posts, that isn't hostile to me.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 6, 2017)

It was a joke, like you calling me muso-coolio. 
Content aside, your posts are hard to look at, aesthetically, so I'm presuming it was a reference to that.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 6, 2017)

Dan U said:


> William of Wales.
> 
> Just saying



Ah!


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> It was a joke, like you calling me muso-coolio.
> Content aside, your posts are hard to look at, aesthetically, so I'm presuming it was a reference to that.




It always is just 'a joke'. I'm capable of that myself on occasion 

Not tonight though particularly.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> And *all* 'likers' of the above post by Santino , explain *exactly* why you hate the fuck out of me too. Cunts.



see post 836


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

moochedit said:


> see post 836



Fair point TBF


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

brogdale said:


> No need for language like that pal; show a bit of respect; *grieving members of the RF could well be reading this stuff*.



Hope they do. Those still alive that is. The dead ones can do one (too  )


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> It always is just 'a joke'. I'm capable of that myself on occasion
> 
> Not tonight though particularly.


Well, this is a joke thread......or is it???????


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Well, this is a joke thread......?




Sometimes ...


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Sometimes ...


Fuksache; don't start all that again.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Fuksache; don't start all that again.




The Queen being dead started that


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 6, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Fuksache


Didn't know you spoke volga german


----------



## brogdale (Jan 6, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Didn't know you spoke volga german


Being of Jootish (_Sleswig-Holsteen) _stock my default is Low German, obvs.

Anyway...enough of Germans...let's get back to the RF and their todesfälle.


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 6, 2017)

brogdale said:


> enough of Germans...*let's get back to the RF *



Getting away from the German stuff  how?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

The Queen to be seen for first time since she was struck down with 'heavy cold'

So have "they" cancelled the queens death then? And if so why? Or have they found a looky likey? Just what is their agenda here?


----------



## oryx (Jan 7, 2017)

'To be' 

(or not to be)


----------



## clicker (Jan 7, 2017)

moochedit said:


> The Queen to be seen for first time since she was struck down with 'heavy cold'
> 
> So have "they" cancelled the queens death then? And if so why? Or have they found a looky likey? Just what is their agenda here?



It doesn't say alive.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

clicker said:


> It doesn't say alive.


Ah clever


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

Wtf 

Queen's champion gundog accused of being a cross-breed by rivals who claim she should be banned from competing


----------



## Raheem (Jan 7, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Wtf
> 
> Queen's champion gundog accused of being a cross-breed by rivals who claim she should be banned from competing



I'm not sure what a gundog is, but is it a dog that's only of any use when there's an old bird that's dead and needs dragging out of the way?


----------



## Celt (Jan 7, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Sincerely -- please do absolutely fuck off.
> 
> Or if you actually do dislike me *that *much, *explain *exactly why. Now.
> 
> ...



a bit over the top eh?  

Likes don't necessarily mean likes, facebook stole our likes, it is sometimes an acknowledgement of a post? 

I'm really sorry you were so upset by it.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 7, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> You can if you turn it sideways


I never knew that!  Cheers.


----------



## magneze (Jan 7, 2017)

Will there be an urban75 contingent outside the church?


----------



## brogdale (Jan 7, 2017)

clicker said:


> It doesn't say alive.


Last line of that piece.


> *A Buckingham Palace spokeswoman declined to comment.*


No spokes, then?
Hmmm....


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

Raheem said:


> I'm not sure what a gundog is, but is it a dog that's only of any use when there's an old bird that's dead and needs dragging out of the way?


Maybe


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 7, 2017)

i am unsubscribing from this wretched thread. I have had enough of the roller coaster and want to get off


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

What will happen tommorow?

1 we are told she still has the lurgy and cant make it to church again?
2 we are told she went to church this week but no photographic evidence appears?
3 she shows up at church and they release pics to "prove it"?
4 they finally admit she is dead

I think 2 would be more  than 1.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> i am unsubscribing from this wretched thread. I have had enough of the roller coaster and want to get off



The thread will never end. Even if she does turn up tommorow it'll get bumped next time she has an illness.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 7, 2017)

moochedit said:


> What will happen tommorow?
> 
> 1 we are told she still has the lurgy and cant make it to church again?
> 2 we are told she went to church this week but no photographic evidence appears?
> ...



It'll probably be screened "live" on BBC News. Watch for the position of the sun in the sky and take careful note of the weather.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> It'll probably be screened "live" on BBC News. Watch for the position of the sun in the sky and take careful note of the weather.


Good point


----------



## magneze (Jan 7, 2017)

You thought I'd died? You wish! BWA HA HAA


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 7, 2017)

Celt said:


> a bit over the top eh?
> 
> Likes don't necessarily mean likes, facebook stole our likes, it is sometimes an acknowledgement of a post?
> 
> I'm really sorry you were so upset by it.




Yes that was seriously OTT on my part 
I feel pretty bad about losing it to that extent,  last night, now   
I was a complete twat yes .
So major apologies offered from me now to everyone**, even while equally drunk now as yesterday


**except to Santino


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 7, 2017)

Don't let anxiety about the ongoing succession crisis get to you too much


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 7, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> i am unsubscribing from this wretched thread. I have had enough of the roller coaster and want to get off




But but but ... there may be more 'Queen soon dead' entertainment!!! 

Perhaps


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 7, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Don't let anxiety about the ongoing succession crisis get to you too much




Did last night, but now doesn't


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

the papers seem to be a little less confident of her showing up than they were earlier...

Queen's ill health may prevent her from attending church on Sunday

Queen may miss church AGAIN because of sickness - not seen for nearly a month

The Queen overcomes heavy cold and to make first public outing in three weeks

The Queen expected to make appearance at Sandringham tomorrow after Christmas cold | Daily Mail Online


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 7, 2017)

I think if she skips church again tomorrow then we will see a lot more media speculation as to how ill she actually is. Three weeks not being able to leave to house at the age of 90 odd = probably on the way out. 
I'm expecting the mail/express to exhort us to pray for her and the sun to enlist Uri Geller to channel our physic healing vibes. 
More importantly - when do we get days off work? Immediately after she carks it as we will are all too grief stricken to carry on? And/or on the day of the funeral?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> I think if she skips church again tomorrow then we will see a lot more media speculation as to how ill she actually is. Three weeks not being able to leave to house at the age of 90 odd = probably on the way out.
> I'm expecting the mail/express to exhort us to pray for her and the sun to enlist Uri Geller to channel our physic healing vibes.
> More importantly - when do we get days off work? Immediately after she carks it as we will are all too grief stricken to carry on? And/or on the day of the funeral?



Pretty sure day of the funeral will be a holiday. Not sure about any other days.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 7, 2017)

I remember going to buy a magazine in a supermarket during my college lunchhour and being turned away at the door by security due to Brenda Snr having *just* croaked it.

Let's see how that goes down with 2017 retail. The government will probably grant extended Sunday opening for people who want to buy black hats and things...


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 7, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I remember going to buy a magazine in a supermarket during my college lunchhour and being turned away at the door by security due to Brenda Snr having *just* croaked it.
> 
> Let's see how that goes down with 2017 retail. The government will probably grant extended Sunday opening for people who want to buy black hats and things...



They'll probably expect every home to hang a black wreath or ribbon on their door and people will have street mourning where they sit at tables covered in black table cloths and eat black food like...liquorice...or black forest gateau...or blackened queen of puddings...and drink black drinks....guinness and coke.

Sounds like it could be a blast...


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I remember going to buy a magazine in a supermarket during my college lunchhour and being turned away at the door by security due to Brenda Snr having *just* croaked it.
> 
> Let's see how that goes down with 2017 retail. The government will probably grant extended Sunday opening for people who want to buy black hats and things...



I can't remember the queen mums death at all now. Did we get a day off?

Remember all the Diana nonsense though.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 7, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> They'll probably expect every home to hang a black wreath or ribbon on their door and people will have street mourning where they sit at tables covered in black table cloths and eat black food like...liquorice...or black forest gateau...or blackened queen of puddings...and drink black drinks....guinness and coke.
> 
> Sounds like it could be a blast...



I'll arrange the tables and chairs, you sweep up the dog shit and the used hypodermics...


----------



## moochedit (Jan 7, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> They'll probably expect every home to hang a black wreath or ribbon on their door and people will have street mourning where they sit at tables covered in black table cloths and eat black food like...liquorice...or black forest gateau...or blackened queen of puddings...and drink black drinks....guinness and coke.
> 
> Sounds like it could be a blast...



Will all cars have flags on them at half mast?


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Will all cars have flags on them at half mast?



Sure...why not...and all babies will have nappies at half mast too...
So the shit will fly






Edit...imagination may be running  away


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> I cant remember the queen mums death at all now. Did we get a day off?
> 
> Remember all the Diana nonsense though.



Well I fucking didn't - I was still at college! Still, IIRC, it was a Monday, which meant maths. I once sat through a three hour long maths lecture with a broken right arm (done so on my journey in) before I dared go to the hospital as that dude was scary


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

Apparently the bbc will ban all comedy until after the funeral. Will there be a simalar ban on joke threads on urban during the mourning period?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Apparently the bbc will ban all comedy until after the funeral.



There's a joke in there about their xmas schedules, but I wouldn't presume to make it...


----------



## Raheem (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Apparently the bbc will ban all comedy until after the funeral. Will there be a simalar ban on joke threads on urban during the mourning period?



I suppose Dave will just be repeats of old funerals.


----------



## tim (Jan 8, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> I think if she skips church again tomorrow then we will see a lot more media speculation as to how ill she actually is. Three weeks not being able to leave to house at the age of 90 odd = probably on the way out.
> I'm expecting the mail/express to exhort us to pray for her and the sun to enlist Uri Geller to channel our physic healing vibes.
> More importantly - when do we get days off work? Immediately after she carks it as we will are all too grief stricken to carry on? And/or on the day of the funeral?



Perhaps she doesn't like the new vicar.

Anyway, my aunty Ivy, who did not enjoy the level of medical care that Queenie surely gets was housebound for years before she eventually died at the age of 101.  So your assumption that three weeks avoiding spending Sunday morning in a cold and damp pew means that she's about to ascend the celestial staircase is a little optimistic.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> They'll probably expect every home to hang a black wreath or ribbon on their door and people will have street mourning where they sit at tables covered in black table cloths and eat black food like...liquorice...or black forest gateau...or
> blackened queen of puddings...and drink black drinks....guinness and coke.
> 
> Sounds like it could be a blast...



Sounds like a goth party to me.


----------



## T & P (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Apparently the bbc will ban all comedy until after the funeral. Will there be a simalar ban on joke threads on urban during the mourning period?


I remember my flat mate running up the stairs to my room during Diana's funeral and furiously demanding I turn down the house dance music CD I was playing, out of respect and blah blah. The thing is I had to play a CD because every single radio station, even the likes of Kiss FM, had interrupted normal transmission and was broadcasting the funeral. The most disgraceful and surreal forced collective grief experience I've ever witnessed.

Fuck knows how much worse it'll be when Brenda pegs it.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 8, 2017)

T & P said:


> I remember my flat mate running up the stairs to my room during Diana's funeral and furiously demanding I turn down the house dance music CD I was playing, out of respect and blah blah.



Yob.

In our household we listen to Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars every year out of respect


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 8, 2017)

tim said:


> Perhaps she doesn't like the new vicar.
> 
> Anyway, my aunty Ivy, who did not enjoy the level of medical care that Queenie surely gets was housebound for years before she eventually died at the age of 101.  So your assumption that three weeks avoiding spending Sunday morning in a cold and damp pew means that she's about to ascend the celestial staircase is a little optimistic.



With all due respect to your Aunt Ivy - "housebound" is not the same as "ill". If it was anyway feasible for Lizzy Windsor to appear in public it would happen - shes takes this "duty" thing very seriously.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 8, 2017)

T & P said:


> I remember my flat mate running up the stairs to my room during Diana's funeral and furiously demanding I turn down the house dance music CD I was playing, out of respect and blah blah. The thing is I had to play a CD because every single radio station, even the likes of Kiss FM, had interrupted normal transmission and was broadcasting the funeral. The most disgraceful and surreal forced collective grief experience I've ever witnessed.
> 
> Fuck knows how much worse it'll be when Brenda pegs it.



Ah - the minutes silence during the funeral to be observed across the nation. A social media-tastic campaign to liven it up with a certain song from the 1977 hit parade is surely in the offing ....


----------



## binka (Jan 8, 2017)

T & P said:


> The thing is I had to play a CD because every single radio station, even the likes of Kiss FM, had interrupted normal transmission and was broadcasting the funeral. The most disgraceful and surreal forced collective grief experience I've ever witnessed.


I was in high school when she died and when we went back in September the English teacher said 'when I was your age Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and our English teacher asked us to write about it so we could look back at it in years to come and remember how it made us feel. Now something just as significant has happened in your lifetimes I would like you all to write about it so you too can look back at it and remember how it felt when everything changed'

My only regret in life is I didn't have the wit and maturity to call her a fuckwit


----------



## JimW (Jan 8, 2017)

binka said:


> I was in high school when she died and when we went back in September the English teacher said 'when I was your age Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and our English teacher asked us to write about it so we could look back at it in years to come and remember how it made us feel. Now something just as significant has happened in your lifetimes I would like you all to write about it so you too can look back at it and remember how it felt when everything changed'
> 
> My only regret in life is I didn't have the wit and maturity to call her a fuckwit


It happened while I was on a flight out to Japan to visit someone I'd met in China. She didn't speak English (we communicated in Chinese) and neither did her family so it was a bit odd to rock up jet-lagged to her mum watching their news coverage and trying to explain what was going on. Great time to be out of the country though.


----------



## binka (Jan 8, 2017)

JimW said:


> It happened while I was on a flight out to Japan to visit someone I'd met in China. She didn't speak English (we communicated in Chinese) and neither did her family so it was a bit odd to rock up jet-lagged to her mum watching their news coverage and trying to explain what was going on. Great time to be out of the country though.


Extremely thinly veiled 'look how much of a jet setting player I am' post. Show some decorum ffs the queen may well be dead, or at least have a very nasty case of the sniffles


----------



## JimW (Jan 8, 2017)

binka said:


> Extremely thinly veiled 'look how much of a jet setting player I am' post. Show some decorum ffs the queen may well be dead, or at least have a very nasty case of the sniffles


Was, binka, was. Now I'm just a toothless old gimmer in a warehouse.


----------



## tim (Jan 8, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> With all due respect to your Aunt Ivy - "housebound" is not the same as "ill". If it was anyway feasible for Lizzy Windsor to appear in public it would happen - shes takes this "duty" thing very seriously.



Housebound in this case meant far too frail to go out on cold Sunday morning jaunts.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 8, 2017)

taps watch ..... 9.30am ...  glowers at the  empty royal pew .... has she lets us down again?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> taps watch ..... 9.30am ...  glowers at the  empty royal pew .... has she lets us down again?



according to the "ticker" at the bottom of the screen on bbc news channel she went to church today, but no pictures yet


----------



## Dogsauce (Jan 8, 2017)

At least all the twatty Royal correspondents and their assorted minions had their christmas ruined by having to come into the office during the break to polish up their obituary material. Bet they're well miffed that she's strung it out for a few weeks longer.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> according to the "ticker" at the bottom of the screen on bbc news channel she went to church today, but no pictures yet


In a coffin or not, though?


----------



## Lazy Llama (Jan 8, 2017)

Queen makes first appearance after heavy cold over Christmas - BBC News
Not clear whether the photo is library or recent.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

danny la rouge said:


> In a coffin or not, though?



it didn't say


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

Lazy Llama said:


> Queen makes first appearance after heavy cold over Christmas - BBC News
> Not clear whether the photo is library or recent.



have you google image searched it yet?


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 8, 2017)

Lazy Llama said:


> Queen makes first appearance after heavy cold over Christmas - BBC News
> Not clear whether the photo is library or recent.


This is an odd sentence:

"We have been waiting the past three weeks to know she has attended."

Of course sometimes people mangle their language, especially when speaking off the cuff. But this doesn't sound like natural speech.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

The Queen makes first public appearance in a month by attending Sandringham


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> have you google image searched it yet?



just tried it and it's best guess was "winter" and brought up pictures of snow, etc.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 8, 2017)

The Duke has sure gone down hill a tad in the last few days


----------



## moochedit (Jan 8, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> View attachment 98439
> 
> The Duke has sure gone down hill a tad in the last few days



has he got a black eye?


----------



## BoxRoom (Jan 8, 2017)

Nice of Madame Tussauds to lend the models out in their time of need.


----------



## billy_bob (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> has he got a black eye?



Maybe he's been talking to Harry about his girlfriend.


----------



## billy_bob (Jan 8, 2017)

T & P said:


> I remember my flat mate running up the stairs to my room during Diana's funeral and furiously demanding I turn down the house dance music CD I was playing, out of respect and blah blah. The thing is I had to play a CD because every single radio station, even the likes of Kiss FM, had interrupted normal transmission and was broadcasting the funeral. The most disgraceful and surreal forced collective grief experience I've ever witnessed.
> 
> Fuck knows how much worse it'll be when Brenda pegs it.



My main memory is how pissed off everyone was that they cancelled the Toon match that day.


----------



## Ranbay (Jan 8, 2017)




----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 8, 2017)

moochedit said:


> just tried it and it's best guess was "winter" and brought up pictures of snow, etc.



I got "snow" and photos of Japanese snow monkeys... hmmm


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Jan 8, 2017)

Well this thread doesn't appear to have delivered.


----------



## clicker (Jan 8, 2017)

Yet.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 8, 2017)

video from sandringham this morning as the queen struggles to make her church gig


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 8, 2017)

Dogsauce said:


> At least all the twatty Royal correspondents and their assorted minions had their christmas ruined by having to come into the office during the break to polish up their obituary material. Bet they're well miffed that she's strung it out for a few weeks longer.



and all BBC news readers sent off for emergency "sombre voice and demeanour" training


----------



## tim (Jan 8, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> View attachment 98439
> 
> The Duke has sure gone down hill a tad in the last few days



Tired of 70 years of crass off the cuff comments, she's spent the last three weeks embalming him.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 8, 2017)

Did anyone on this thread actually see her today? 

Thought not.


----------



## shygirl (Jan 8, 2017)

Shame, I was soooo looking forward to an extra day off


----------



## andysays (Jan 8, 2017)

Still no news


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 8, 2017)

andysays said:


> Still no news



I think they found a second body double. Time will tell.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 8, 2017)

Prince Philip looks like death warmed up...


----------



## magneze (Jan 8, 2017)

It's now over 5 hours since the Queen has last been seen in public. WTF IS GOING ON? Why won't somebody tell us?


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jan 8, 2017)

magneze said:


> It's now over 5 hours since the Queen has last been seen in public. WTF IS GOING ON? Why won't somebody tell us?



Sky news on the hour every hour is just not delivering


----------



## brogdale (Jan 8, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Well this thread doesn't appear to have delivered.


Harsh


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Jan 8, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Harsh



On the plus side it means it lives until, err, she doesn't.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 8, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> On the plus side it means it lives until, err, she doesn't.


I want this thread ended.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 8, 2017)

brogdale said:


> I want this thread ended.



You know what you must do.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 8, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> You know what you must do.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jan 8, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> View attachment 98439
> 
> The Duke has sure gone down hill a tad in the last few days



Phillipides looks like he's about to shed his skin.


----------



## hash tag (Jan 11, 2017)

Worried this might finish her off Uproar over plan for strip club yards from Windsor Castle


----------



## mojo pixy (Jan 11, 2017)

She is a bit old for pole dancing, true. Good luck to her though, always good to see someone smashing stereotypes.


----------



## billy_bob (Jan 11, 2017)

Can everyone stop making this thread pop up in my alerts and getting my hopes up every day or two


----------



## steveo87 (Jan 11, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Well this thread doesn't appear to have delivered.


Clone, init....


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 11, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> Can everyone stop making this thread pop up in my alerts and getting my hopes up every day or two


sort out your alerts


----------



## tim (Jan 15, 2017)

Mary Poppins impersonations are all very well, but surely in this weather a dose of pneumonia could be on the cards


----------



## tim (Jan 15, 2017)

hash tag said:


> Worried this might finish her off Uproar over plan for strip club yards from Windsor Castle



Nice that after 65 years something is being done in dreary old Windsor to keep Philip amused. Up until now kicking corgis  is the only way he's had to let of steam when  HMQ is locked in her study doing her red-boxes.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 21, 2017)

Prince William to leave air ambulance in the summer - BBC News

Hmmmm


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 21, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Prince William to leave air ambulance in the summer - BBC News
> 
> Hmmmm


As he'll be making himself voluntarily unemployed, his civil list payments will be sanctioned I presume? No?


----------



## stavros (Jan 22, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Prince William to leave air ambulance in the summer - BBC News



... from several hundred feet and without a parachute.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 22, 2017)

stavros said:


> ... from several hundred feet and without a parachute.



No he is quitting his job with a long notice period because he knows that's when he'll be called upon to perform duties as Prince of Wales.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jan 24, 2017)

tim said:


> Nice that after 65 years something is being done in dreary old Windsor to keep Philip amused. Up until now kicking corgis  is the only way he's had to let of steam when  HMQ is locked in her study doing her red-boxes.


"
I am not convinced that the Queen "does red boxes" She is a monarch not a minister. I notice that the royal blue coat she is wearing in the rain in the picture above has rather an excessive number of metal buttons on it. Perhaps it is a security measure and doubles as a bullet-proof vest.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 24, 2017)

Hocus Eye. said:


> "
> I am not convinced that the Queen "does red boxes" She is a monarch not a minister. I notice that the royal blue coat she is wearing in the rain in the picture above has rather an excessive number of metal buttons on it. Perhaps it is a security measure and doubles as a bullet-proof vest.


if there are pills going round - red boxes or any other sort - the queen's always up for them.


----------



## bi0boy (Jan 24, 2017)

Hocus Eye. said:


> "
> I am not convinced that the Queen "does red boxes" She is a monarch not a minister. I notice that the royal blue coat she is wearing in the rain in the picture above has rather an excessive number of metal buttons on it. Perhaps it is a security measure and doubles as a bullet-proof vest.




Apparently she has lots of governmental paperwork to do every day in a red box. I've tried googling what it consists of but haven't found anything. Presumably she signs Acts and stuff, but they can't be too frequent.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 24, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Apparently she has lots of governmental paperwork to do every day in a red box. I've tried googling what it consists of but haven't found anything. Presumably she signs Acts and stuff, but they can't be too frequent.


she has a rubber stamp for them anyway


----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 24, 2017)

no sealing in red wax with a big signet ring. Times aint what they was


----------



## agricola (Jan 24, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Apparently she has lots of governmental paperwork to do every day in a red box. I've tried googling what it consists of but haven't found anything. Presumably she signs Acts and stuff, but they can't be too frequent.



There is probably quite a lot of Privy Council stuff as well, which would include things from the wider Commonwealth.  As an example, there is an anecdote that Chris Mullin gives in one of his diaries where she signed the document rejecting an appeal against a death sentence by the man convicted of the murder of Richard Sharples (and others), apparently commenting that he had a cheek to ask given that he had shot the Governor's dog as well as the Governor (and his ADC).


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jan 24, 2017)

agricola said:


> There is probably quite a lot of Privy Council stuff as well, which would include things from the wider Commonwealth.  As an example, there is an anecdote that Chris Mullin gives in one of his diaries where she signed the document rejecting an appeal against a death sentence by the man convicted of the murder of Richard Sharples (and others), apparently commenting that he had a cheek to ask given that he had shot the Governor's dog as well as the Governor (and his ADC).


It was the killing of the dog that evidentally did it. We all know the Queen has a high regard for dogs. The ADC doesn't even get a name check in this summary. Don't mess with the political hierarchy is the message to be handed down.


----------



## agricola (Jan 24, 2017)

Hocus Eye. said:


> It was the killing of the dog that evidentally did it. We all know the Queen has a high regard for dogs. The ADC doesn't even get a name check in this summary. Don't mess with the political hierarchy is the message to be handed down.



To be fair, in the anecdote as it appears in Mullin's diary the Governor doesn't get named either.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jan 25, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> no sealing in red wax with a big signet ring. Times aint what they was



Ever since she had to let the Wax-melter Pursuivant go, due to money issues (she wants more!) she's made do with a rubber stamp.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Jan 25, 2017)

If she kicks it in the next 4 years we're blatantly gonna have Trump come over for the funeral which will add to the circus.


----------



## tim (Jan 25, 2017)

Hocus Eye. said:


> "
> I am not convinced that the Queen "does red boxes" She is a monarch not a minister. I notice that the royal blue coat she is wearing in the rain in the picture above has rather an excessive number of metal buttons on it. Perhaps it is a security measure and doubles as a bullet-proof vest.




God save her!


----------



## Raheem (Jan 25, 2017)

tim said:


> God save her!



I've never noticed it before, but are all the red boxes built with the handle on the hinge side so as to cause a comedy flood of state secrets onto the floor if not shut properly?


----------



## gosub (Jan 25, 2017)

Raheem said:


> I've never noticed it before, but are all the red boxes built with the handle on the hinge side so as to cause a comedy flood of state secrets onto the floor if not shut properly?



Thus ensuring that you lock them..


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Jan 25, 2017)

skyscraper101 said:


> If she kicks it in the next 4 years we're blatantly gonna have Trump come over for the funeral which will add to the circus.



You should ban him now as an undesirable hate preacher.


----------



## gosub (Jan 25, 2017)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> You should ban him now as an undesirable hate preacher.



If they wouldn't do it after the petition a year or so ago, they ain't likely to now


----------



## Raheem (Jan 25, 2017)

gosub said:


> Thus ensuring that you lock them..



Bollocks. I bet Philip Hammond has three false starts before he makes it to the front door. Every time.


----------



## gosub (Jan 25, 2017)

Raheem said:


> Bollocks. I bet Philip Hammond has three false starts before he makes it to the front door. Every time.



Mr Hammond doesn't just have people, he has people who have people. First rung on the greasy pole is bag carrier.


----------



## billy_bob (Jan 25, 2017)

Raheem said:


> Bollocks. I bet Philip Hammond has three false starts before he makes it to the front door. Every time.



We all know there's fuck all in that case when Philip Hammond's carrying it, except maybe a note saying 'See me. Theresa.'


----------



## Raheem (Jan 25, 2017)

gosub said:


> Mr Hammond doesn't just have people, he has people who have people. First rung on the greasy pole is bag carrier.



Yeah, but I reckon the whole red box problem gets passed up the chain of command until they finally get the Queen to talk them through it over the phone.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 25, 2017)

gosub said:


> Thus ensuring that you lock them..


Yes, they're pretty well built boxes. Heavier than expected too - between 2 and 3 kg apparently.


----------



## billy_bob (Jan 25, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Yes, they're pretty well built boxes. Heavier than expected too - between 2 and 3 kg apparently.



Gideon? Is that you?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 25, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> Gideon? Is that you?


Definitely not - how dare you!


----------



## billy_bob (Jan 25, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Definitely not - how dare you!



Just you seem to know some very specific details about those cases....


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 25, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> Just you seem to know some very specific details about those cases....


Yeh he has firsthand knowledge


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 25, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> Just you seem to know some very specific details about those cases....


All discovered through a quick Google search.


----------



## stavros (Jan 25, 2017)

skyscraper101 said:


> If she kicks it in the next 4 years we're blatantly gonna have Trump come over for the funeral which will add to the circus.



Didn't Mugabe come over for Thatcher's funeral? If so, why didn't he get collared for his various indiscretions?


----------



## belboid (Jan 25, 2017)

stavros said:


> Didn't Mugabe come over for Thatcher's funeral?


No


----------



## tim (Jan 25, 2017)

stavros said:


> Didn't Mugabe come over for Thatcher's funeral? If so, why didn't he get collared for his various indiscretions?




Peter tried to do so


----------



## tim (Jan 25, 2017)

I'm sure he'd take on Trump as willingly


----------



## stavros (Jan 25, 2017)

belboid said:


> No



Hmmm, it seems I was imagining things. Thank you for the correction.


----------



## belboid (Jan 25, 2017)

stavros said:


> Hmmm, it seems I was imagining things. Thank you for the correction.


It was a 'private shopping trip' when Tatchell confronted him


----------



## stavros (Feb 1, 2017)

I can't help thinking we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves on this thread. Many old women, as their health deteriorates, will move out of their house and go to live in a home where they're cared for and don't have do any menial chores.


----------



## bluescreen (Feb 2, 2017)

stavros said:


> I can't help thinking we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves on this thread. Many old women people, as their health deteriorates, will move out of their house and go to live in a home where they're cared for and don't have do any menial chores.


FTFY


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 16, 2017)

Operation London Bridge: the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death

Just so you are aware of the protocol people. If it turns out to be accurate, I may just end it all myself rather than have to tolerate it


----------



## teqniq (Mar 16, 2017)

I gave up halfway through the second paragraph, i want to keep my breakfast down.


----------



## NoXion (Mar 16, 2017)

Yeah, seriously. What's with the fucking servile tone?


----------



## brogdale (Mar 16, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Operation London Bridge: the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death
> 
> Just so you are aware of the protocol people. If it turns out to be accurate, I may just end it all myself rather than have to tolerate it


Conveniently reported on of the day the tory party expenses crimes are confirmed. More like London Fog than London bridge.


----------



## Yossarian (Mar 16, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Operation London Bridge: the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death
> 
> Just so you are aware of the protocol people. If it turns out to be accurate, I may just end it all myself rather than have to tolerate it



Interesting that Britain was really shit at pageantry until relatively recently.



> At the funeral of Princess Charlotte, in 1817, the undertakers were drunk. Ten years later, St George’s Chapel was so cold during the burial of the Duke of York that George Canning, the foreign secretary, contracted rheumatic fever and the bishop of London died. “We never saw so motley, so rude, so ill-managed a body of persons,” reported the Times on the funeral of George IV, in 1830.



I don't know where the best place to go for a holiday to escape all the royal mourning nonsense might be - Ireland? Argentina? The South Pacific?


----------



## inva (Mar 16, 2017)

NoXion said:


> Yeah, seriously. What's with the fucking servile tone?


it's the guardian


----------



## Crispy (Mar 16, 2017)

What are the technical challenges involved in broadcasting a pirate radio signal strong enough to overpower the BBC? Just an idle thought of a quiet Thursday morning.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Mar 16, 2017)

Puke factor = ∞


----------



## The Octagon (Mar 16, 2017)

Crispy said:


> What are the technical challenges involved in broadcasting a pirate radio signal strong enough to overpower the BBC? Just an idle thought of a quiet Thursday morning.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Mar 16, 2017)

> Geidt will contact the prime minister. *The last time a British monarch died, 65 years ago, the demise of George VI was conveyed in a code word, “Hyde Park Corner”, to Buckingham Palace, to prevent switchboard operators from finding out. *For Elizabeth II, the plan for what happens next is known as “London Bridge.” The prime minister will be woken, if she is not already awake, and *civil servants will say “London Bridge is down” *on secure lines. From the Foreign Office’s Global Response Centre, at an undisclosed location in the capital, the news will go out to the 15 governments outside the UK where the Queen is also the head of state, and the 36 other nations of the Commonwealth for whom she has served as a symbolic figurehead – a face familiar in dreams and the untidy drawings of a billion schoolchildren – since the dawn of the atomic age.




Um. you just gave it away guys.


----------



## Cid (Mar 16, 2017)

Artaxerxes said:


> Um. you just gave it away guys.



Was about to say same, maybe they just like using codes. Very bad codes.

Also George V was euthanised? had no idea.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Mar 16, 2017)

Cid said:


> Was about to say same, maybe they just like using codes. Very bad codes.
> 
> Also George V was euthanised? had no idea.




Yeah he was dying and the doctor sped things up with a slightly high dose of morphine I believe.


edit: To ensure it got to the right papers, fucking hell. 

1936 SECRET IS OUT: DOCTOR SPED GEORGE V'S DEATH


----------



## Cid (Mar 16, 2017)

Crispy said:


> What are the technical challenges involved in broadcasting a pirate radio signal strong enough to overpower the BBC? Just an idle thought of a quiet Thursday morning.



I'd actually quite like to hear a proper, old-school BBC interruption of procedures type thing. Not that I'd be watching/listening at the time I suppose... And it would be nice if it was followed by a proper, old-skool, junglist version.


----------



## Cid (Mar 16, 2017)

> The rehearsals for her are different to the other members of the family, he explained. People become upset, and contemplate the unthinkable oddness of her absence.



Do they fuck.


----------



## brogdale (Mar 16, 2017)

Still pulse enough to do this...apparently.


----------



## billy_bob (Mar 16, 2017)

Yossarian said:


> I don't know where the best place to go for a holiday to escape all the royal mourning nonsense might be - Ireland? Argentina? The South Pacific?



Round al-Fayed's place?


----------



## billy_bob (Mar 16, 2017)

Sam Knight said:
			
		

> For a time, she will be gone without our knowing it. The information will travel like the compressional wave ahead of an earthquake, detectable only by special equipment.



Christ, someone's told him: this is the 'Long Read', right? Make it really, really, long.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 16, 2017)

I will be having a me party at home.


----------



## bi0boy (Mar 16, 2017)

Has anyone on here actually seen her in person since before Christmas???


----------



## Winot (Mar 16, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Still pulse enough to do this...apparently.






> *Does the Queen give Royal Assent in person? *
> The Queen can give Royal Assent in person but this has not happened since 1854. The Queen's agreement to give her assent to a Bill is a formality.



From here: Royal Assent


----------



## billy_bob (Mar 16, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Has anyone on here actually seen her in person since before Christmas???



Do your own research, Witchell


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Mar 16, 2017)

Crispy said:


> What are the technical challenges involved in broadcasting a pirate radio signal strong enough to overpower the BBC? Just an idle thought of a quiet Thursday morning.



You would need really fucking massive transmitters on big towers, spread throughout the country, I reckon?


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Mar 16, 2017)

Who gives a fuck. I hate the monarchy even more after reading that eye cancer.


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Mar 16, 2017)

Photo taken a few days ago:


----------



## billy_bob (Mar 16, 2017)

Johnny Canuck3 said:


> Photo taken a few days ago:



I'll just dispose of this for you then, ma'am.


----------



## kenny g (Mar 16, 2017)

"Just stop talking and hand Phillip the child, he needs to make some of his special bread."


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 16, 2017)

NoXion said:
			
		

> Yeah, seriously. What's with the fucking servile tone?



I've read the whole thing. I'm a historian, and felt compelled to do that.

Revolting. And, yes, all that many-day-long arselicking that's predicted for 201?/202? will be vile.

However nauseating all that information was though, and it was, why can't people grasp that it's *useful information?*

For fucking shit up  on Smiths Day, as we could and should call it  



inva said:


> it's the guardian



Fuck knows who Sam Knight is, some poshboy no doubt. But exactly _because_ he seems to be some very establishment-friendly dig-deeper, he looks like he's managed to get hold of that information by means of a lot of off the record interviews.

I don't like that sort of 'sources close to' shite myself, but not all of it is baseless speculation surely.

And it's not (principally  ) the Guardian being servile anyway -- look at the people being reported by that article. 

And look at all the so called 'traditional' kerfuffle being pre-organised around Her Maj's prospective arselickfest. What would you rather they did? Ignore it and all the ridiculous flummery and historical bollocksness? Like the Independent ignored UK royalty for a few months when they first started?

All this propective ultra-servility is being *reported* by the Guardian.

But plenty of its readers are not royalty-worshippers in any shape or form.


----------



## billy_bob (Mar 16, 2017)

.


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 16, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Operation London Bridge: the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death
> 
> Just so you are aware of the protocol people. If it turns out to be accurate, I may just end it all myself rather than have to tolerate it



I'll be tempted to myself  

But forewarned is forearmed for escapism and massive illegal parties surely? The police will all be on Servile Duty   ensuring that all the multithousands of sycophants are 'safe'

Leaving those wanting to avoid it all (rather than die) even 'safer'


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 16, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> .




See my post #1022.


----------



## twentythreedom (Mar 16, 2017)

> “The King’s life is moving peacefully towards its close,” was the final notice issued by George V’s doctor, Lord Dawson, at 9.30pm on the night of 20 January 1936. Not long afterwards, Dawson injected the king with *750mg of morphine and a gram of cocaine* – enough to kill him twice over – in order to ease the monarch’s suffering, and to have him expire in time for the printing presses of the Times, which rolled at midnight.



Bloody hell, that's nuts


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 16, 2017)

twentythreedom said:


> Bloody hell, that's nuts


It's only nuts that they haven't done it in the last 65 years.


----------



## hipipol (Mar 16, 2017)

Fuck off idiot she has been reborn as vicious evil twat seepage bitch
May arse Bend Supreme...
Luv you English twats - cunt sucking disease you
LIck up dem piss dem Idiot5!!!!
Udders are big yeaah???


----------



## DaveCinzano (Mar 16, 2017)

twentythreedom said:


> Bloody hell, that's nuts


Unlike Georgie Boy, who had buzzed his nuts off


----------



## hipipol (Mar 16, 2017)

Fuck off an die you Engliiiiiish cunt seeeeeeepage
Despise is so quiet a word.......


----------



## oryx (Mar 16, 2017)

twentythreedom said:


> Bloody hell, that's nuts



Never had the allegedly straight-laced and fearsome George V down as one to die a rock-star death...


----------



## DaveCinzano (Mar 16, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Fuck off idiot she has been reborn as vicious evil twat seepage bitch
> May arse Bend Supreme...
> Luv you English twats - cunt sucking disease you
> LIck up dem piss dem Idiot5!!!!
> Udders are big yeaah???


Been out on the razz with Spymaster have we?


----------



## NoXion (Mar 16, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> I've read the whole thing. I'm a historian, and felt compelled to do that.
> 
> Revolting. And, yes, all that many-day-long arselicking that's predicted for 201?/202? will be vile.
> 
> ...



I'm not saying there isn't useful information in there, but the arse-licking makes it hard reading for those of us with an inherent revulsion for nobs and bent knees.


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 16, 2017)

NoXion said:


> I'm not saying there isn't useful information in there, but the arse-licking makes it hard reading *for those of us with an inherent revulsion for nobs and bent knees.*



Which I share, big style**, but it's worth overcoming the nausea a bit and read it, rather than be caught unawares when it happens 

**Climbed Snowdon with some mates on the day that BigEars and Diana got married in 1982, and avoided TV for weeks. 

I still stick by my point that establishment as Sam Knight has got to be to write it, the arse-licking (mostly) didn't come from him.


----------



## NoXion (Mar 16, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Fuck off an die you Engliiiiiish cunt seeeeeeepage
> Despise is so quiet a word.......



Is it really OK to slag off people for being English on this forum? Because I've seen this semi-coherent idiot posting this kind of inflammatory crap on a number of other threads, adding nothing to them.

editor mango5 Lazy Llama


----------



## JTG (Mar 16, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> **Climbed Snowdon with some mates on the day that BigEars and Diana got married in 1982, and avoided TV for weeks.


Yeah I thought that getting married again the following year was milking it somewhat


----------



## clicker (Mar 16, 2017)

I lost the will to live reading that and gave up. I only want to know how many days do we get off work?


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 16, 2017)

JTG said:


> Yeah I thought that getting married again the following year was milking it somewhat



1981, or 1982, who cares?!


----------



## DaveCinzano (Mar 16, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> 1981, or 1982, who cares?!


Post-fact world, yeah!!!


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 16, 2017)

clicker said:


> I lost the will to live reading that and gave up. *I only want to know how many days do we get off work?*




I persisted partly because I was looking for that too. It was strongly hinted at one point that it would only be the day of the actual funeral that would be a Bank Holiday. (Plus we might be 'allowed' home early on Croak-Day).

Fuck that only-one-Bank-Holiday shit though   

Really hope that at least that bit of the article's wrong.


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 16, 2017)

DaveCinzano said:


> Post-fact world, yeah!!!



Can't be arsed to checkworld. Beer just told me not to. We might have climbed up Snowdon on the wrong day even, but it was 3? years ago now, so who cares ...


----------



## clicker (Mar 16, 2017)

Yes was pleased about the early finish.Would have liked the day after off  too though... to fully immerse myself in grief


----------



## Wilf (Mar 16, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Fuck off idiot she has been reborn as vicious evil twat seepage bitch
> May arse Bend Supreme...
> Luv you English twats - cunt sucking disease you
> LIck up dem piss dem Idiot5!!!!
> Udders are big yeaah???


Well, that's quite an _energetic_ post.


----------



## teqniq (Mar 16, 2017)

Lots of vitriol an ting.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Mar 17, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Fuck off idiot she has been reborn as vicious evil twat seepage bitch
> May arse Bend Supreme...
> Luv you English twats - cunt sucking disease you
> LIck up dem piss dem Idiot5!!!!
> Udders are big yeaah???


PARKLIFE


----------



## Wilf (Mar 17, 2017)

DaveCinzano said:


> PARKLIFE


I was hearing hipipol declaiming his great work thus


----------



## hipipol (Mar 17, 2017)

DaveCinzano said:


> PARKLIFE


Are you typical of the classic Engerlisch?
ignorant, contempt for literacy and if it drips with the same piss which like your "thoughts"  you obv seep, its got to be good?
Go home, shag some goats, come back post more boooooolooockeranss
Hard to make sense of the Engarlish, its all about, power, murder and  lying so they good, killing anyone who aint blond blues eyed, woman killing piles of shite, drinking till u piss I yer pants, beating women to death, universal  thug and killer proper "English" gentleman, whats not  to love about the classic kill all piece of shit?
Loades really, lazy old etonian alky seepage makes up lies using Scot as a principle

Fuck off Engerlisch
Seems fair to kill you on sight, given what you have forced others to do in your name, you mass murdering scum
Given the tens of millions of deaths, caused by the whim of Westminster - fuck off English, turds too kind a disriptor


----------



## hipipol (Mar 17, 2017)

Wilf said:


> I was hearing hipipol declaiming his great work thus



We are the Aborigines here
Fuck off home and take your violence and obsession for dominating others with you -we, meaning the aboriginal people would prefer if you went home and took your violence with you


----------



## Wilf (Mar 17, 2017)

hipipol said:


> We are the Aborigines here
> Fuck off home and take your violence and obsession for dominating others with you -we, meaning the aboriginal people would prefer if you went home and took your violence with you


I'm sorry, I don't normally even bring my violence out of the house.  It must have been in the pocket of me big coat, which I haven't worn for a while with it being milder.


----------



## hipipol (Mar 17, 2017)

Wilf said:


> I'm sorry, I don't normally even bring my violence out of the house.  It must have been in the pocket of me big coat, which I haven't worn for a while with it being milder.


Sorry mate, yer mumbling, bring yer violence wherever - wre you born a spineless little shit head cunt.or have yer Manny and Daddy paid for whingeing crippled legged snivelling shit you have become????
Hurragh!! Triumphant crowd as tiny weeny revaealed
Cock so tiny the crowd feints
Nuff said......


----------



## hipipol (Mar 17, 2017)

Is this as harsh and as vile as it is possible to be?
If I have fallen down in vileness, I some way been sift, etc
Please correct me
Need to deliver fierce shite
Fucksoftee tosh


----------



## hipipol (Mar 17, 2017)

Wilf said:


> I'm sorry, I don't normally even bring my violence out of the house.  It must have been in the pocket of me big coat, which I haven't worn for a while with it being milder.


Please feel free, lets go outside, check fe  deviolence....
While u chack me, did you vote for and do you have any connection to the violence our govt seems to be laying out at the mo?
Slap me bruv, I may deserve it, but have you done owt to make you "valid"?
If you have anything that's got bottle in it PM me, I give you me address, physic/real you come round, kick me to shit, we film and stick it up
Its what needed in the modern, its al shit gotta be on Twanster, ~Uttercxunt, etc
U in Lunnon?
Lets get a furking proper kickin sorteed


----------



## NoXion (Mar 17, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Are you typical of the classic Engerlisch?
> ignorant, contempt for literacy and if it drips with the same piss which like your "thoughts"  you obv seep, its got to be good?
> Go home, shag some goats, come back post more boooooolooockeranss
> Hard to make sense of the Engarlish, its all about, power, murder and  lying so they good, killing anyone who aint blond blues eyed, woman killing piles of shite, drinking till u piss I yer pants, beating women to death, universal  thug and killer proper "English" gentleman, whats not  to love about the classic kill all piece of shit?
> ...



If I ever comitted mass murder, I'm pretty damn sure I'd remember.


----------



## hipipol (Mar 17, 2017)

NoXion said:


> If I ever comitted mass murder, I'm pretty damn sure I'd remember.


Sorry mate
I applied some sort of group offence on your chops
watching/listening too much PoliTricks crap


----------



## editor (Mar 17, 2017)

NoXion said:


> Is it really OK to slag off people for being English on this forum? Because I've seen this semi-coherent idiot posting this kind of inflammatory crap on a number of other threads, adding nothing to them.
> 
> editor mango5 Lazy Llama


Please don't tag mods individually as it's rather invasive. Please use the 'report post' function. Thank you.


----------



## editor (Mar 17, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Fuck off idiot she has been reborn as vicious evil twat seepage bitch
> May arse Bend Supreme...
> Luv you English twats - cunt sucking disease you
> LIck up dem piss dem Idiot5!!!!
> Udders are big yeaah???


And this is way, waaaay over the top too. Neck wind-in-age, please.  Thank you kindly.


----------



## hipipol (Mar 17, 2017)

editor said:


> And this is way, waaaay over the top too. Neck wind-in-age, please.  Thank you kindly.


Not wrong
This must be getting boring for you
I will vanish for a while
Best for all I suspect


----------



## editor (Mar 17, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Not wrong
> This must be getting boring for you
> I will vanish for a while
> Best for all I suspect


Feel free to keep on posting but just don't be so abusive and antagonistic!


----------



## Celyn (Mar 17, 2017)

teqniq said:


> I gave up halfway through the second paragraph, i want to keep my breakfast down.


Well, how silly of you. You would have missed the fact that old Queen Victoria was in fact a bloke. 

Damn. I just went to read it again and it has been changed but I do know, because I did make a copy immediately (just in case there *might* be any later amendments to this "let's all think of the Empire and Queen and grovel..") that I was surprised to learn that:
". When it became public that Queen Victoria was dying, at the age of 82, a widower for half her life, “astonished grief ... swept the country”,

Well, to be a widower, she'd have to be a man, but then she is given a female pronoun. Damn, I had not realised things were so cool and trouble-free in the Victorian times.

Or it might just be a trad Grauniad typo. Oh well, it gave me a laugh. Albeit a small laugh, and not nearly enough for the pay we all give queenie in taxes.

And will she die soon?


----------



## JTG (Mar 17, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Are you typical of the classic Engerlisch?
> ignorant, contempt for literacy and if it drips with the same piss which like your "thoughts"  you obv seep, its got to be good?
> Go home, shag some goats, come back post more boooooolooockeranss
> Hard to make sense of the Engarlish, its all about, power, murder and  lying so they good, killing anyone who aint blond blues eyed, woman killing piles of shite, drinking till u piss I yer pants, beating women to death, universal  thug and killer proper "English" gentleman, whats not  to love about the classic kill all piece of shit?
> ...


"It's shite being Scottish!
We're the lowest of the low, scum of the fucking earth..."
Etc


----------



## Celyn (Mar 17, 2017)

But really, it was all so damn pompous, as though preparing us commoners as to what we ought to be doing... I mean really, if she dies in Balmoral, lots of us plebs will line the paths of her royal corpse train in order to throw flower petals at it, and because of this, there will, of course be arrangements made so that this utter deluge of flowers will not in any way detain the queen deadybones train.


----------



## JTG (Mar 17, 2017)

"Drivers will get out of their cars..."

Not if they're going to cause a hazard they're fucking not


----------



## Celyn (Mar 17, 2017)

It was quite a strange and "look at the monarchy and simply behold and wonder and worship at the feet" article. Very odd.  And quite horrible.

Ah well, so are the chances good that she will die off soon, then?


----------



## YouSir (Mar 17, 2017)

Celyn said:


> It was quite a strange and "look at the monarchy and simply behold and wonder and worship at the feet" article. Very odd.  And quite horrible.
> 
> Ah well, so are the chances good that she will die off soon, then?



Ever shorter odds the more toe tapping articles there are salivating over the prospect. Bet Charles is popping in every ten minutes to ask if she's feeling peaky too.

No Monarchist but got to pity her for that, imagine a load of people clearly looking forward to your funeral so they can have a day off and see some people dressing up on TV.


----------



## Celyn (Mar 17, 2017)

It will be so very interesting when she does die, because then then the _Daily Heil_ and Telegraph and such like will have to start pretending that they loved Charles and Wotssername all along, and be ever so loyal and print pages full of Union Flags for the Coronation.

Oh, it might be fun to observe the quick change. Except that it costs a bloody fortune and we have to pay it. Not good


----------



## Celyn (Mar 17, 2017)

YouSir said:


> Ever shorter odds the more toe tapping articles there are salivating over the prospect. Bet Charles is popping in every ten minutes to ask if she's feeling peaky too.
> 
> No Monarchist but got to pity her for that, imagine a load of people clearly looking forward to your funeral so they can have a day off and see some people dressing up on TV.


 
OK. Now I did imagine.

Nyah.I have given it all of 10 seconds thought and I am not sorry for her. I'd be sorry for any pain that she has, as I would for anyone, but that woman will have the best bloody medics of the world tending her.

Many others suffer ill health, serious pain, starvation, but I don't think they are in her mind,nor that of her son, not any of the lot of them.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 17, 2017)

hipipol said:


> Fuck off idiot she has been reborn as vicious evil twat seepage bitch
> May arse Bend Supreme...
> Luv you English twats - cunt sucking disease you
> LIck up dem piss dem Idiot5!!!!
> Udders are big yeaah???


And you only had a half of shandy 

You lightweight piss artist


----------



## bi0boy (Mar 17, 2017)

Celyn said:


> It will be so very interesting when she does die, because then then the _Daily Heil_ and Telegraph and such like will have to start pretending that they loved Charles and Wotssername all along, and be ever so loyal and print pages full of Union Flags for the Coronation.
> 
> Oh, it might be fun to observe the quick change. Except that it costs a bloody fortune and we have to pay it. Not good



She is going to cling on until either Charles carks it or he is plausibly decrepit enough to need William as regent.

I bet at xmas when she had that pneumonia and it was touch and go, they had the cook ready to poison his food.


----------



## Sprocket. (Mar 17, 2017)

I read all that and I'm still only going to get one day off 
At least a day off for chunders coronation then one for his funeral I suppose!


----------



## inva (Mar 17, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Fuck knows who Sam Knight is, some poshboy no doubt. But exactly _because_ he seems to be some very establishment-friendly dig-deeper, he looks like he's managed to get hold of that information by means of a lot of off the record interviews.
> 
> I don't like that sort of 'sources close to' shite myself, but not all of it is baseless speculation surely.
> 
> ...


it might sneer at what it sees as vulgar royalism but the guardian loves the monarchy


----------



## teqniq (Mar 17, 2017)

Celyn said:


> Well, how silly of you. You would have missed the fact that old Queen Victoria was in fact a bloke.



No honestly, I really can't be doing with a 'long read' of brown nosing drivel even if it did contain a vaguely amusing typo.


----------



## kenny g (Mar 17, 2017)

*Very interesting article in the FT last weekend by Tim Harford about Trump's mastery of distraction being a continuation from the tobacco industry's techniques developed in the 1950's. Of course the UK has had a few hundred year head start with Royal Family. The Independent had the right idea twenty years ago - ignore them. 

Subscribe to read*


----------



## ViolentPanda (Mar 18, 2017)

YouSir said:


> Ever shorter odds the more toe tapping articles there are salivating over the prospect. Bet Charles is popping in every ten minutes to ask if she's feeling peaky too.
> 
> No Monarchist but got to pity her for that, imagine a load of people clearly looking forward to your funeral so they can have a day off and see some people dressing up on TV.



What I'm hoping for is that Chas will be so incandescently ecstatic at his mum popping her clogs, that he has a fuck-off massive stroke that leaves him in a persistent vegetative state, whereupon his next-of-kin (for "The Good of the Country", naturally) will have the jug-eared cunt unplugged and left to choke on his own bodily fluids.

It's not too much to ask, is it?


----------



## Sprocket. (Mar 18, 2017)

Having read the article I wonder if there would be any attempt at all to resuscitate her?


----------



## DotCommunist (Mar 18, 2017)

bring her back, better, stronger. The Six Trillion Dollar Queen


----------



## Idris2002 (Mar 18, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> bring her back, better, stronger. The Six Trillion Dollar Queen


Deep in her house at W'indz-orr, dread Lizzy lies sleeping.


----------



## DotCommunist (Mar 18, 2017)

That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die


----------



## stavros (Mar 18, 2017)

ViolentPanda said:


> What I'm hoping for is that Chas will be so incandescently ecstatic at his mum popping her clogs, that he has a fuck-off massive stroke that leaves him in a persistent vegetative state, whereupon his next-of-kin (for "The Good of the Country", naturally) will have the jug-eared cunt unplugged and left to choke on his own bodily fluids.
> 
> It's not too much to ask, is it?



People seem to like Brian's son though, more so than him, so maybe him having it for a good few years may disengage some of the throngs who think monarchies are a good thing. Plus I think the son is only about my age, mid-30s, so that would probably lock us into the archaic system for another few decades with no questions asked by the masses.


----------



## bi0boy (Mar 19, 2017)

When it is announced will there be a lottery mega-draw with 91 guaranteed millionaires? It's the least we deserve.


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 20, 2017)

inva said:


> it might sneer at what it sees as vulgar royalism *but the guardian loves the monarchy*



Fuck knows what you think about the Mail and Sun then 
I'm not going to defend the Guardian's zillion faults, and bloody hell it has plenty, but excess monarchy-loving isn't one of them IMO.
And that particular article was a useful (albeit cringemaking) forewarning of how nauseating things are going to be generally in this country when the old Q pops it. Looked like it'd been researched properly, probably.   Letting your hatred of the Guardian get in the way of that is idiotic.
Part of what I posted earlier (#1020, p. 35) :



			
				William of Walworth said:
			
		

> Fuck knows who Sam Knight is, some poshboy no doubt. But exactly _because_ he seems to be some very establishment-friendly dig-deeper, he looks like he's managed to get hold of that information by means of a lot of off the record interviews.
> I don't like that sort of 'sources close to' shite myself, but not all of it is baseless speculation surely.
> And it's not (principally  ) the Guardian being servile anyway -- look at the people being reported by that article.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 20, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> When it is announced will there be a lottery mega-draw with 91 guaranteed millionaires? It's the least we deserve.


only if the wealth is extracted from the parasitical mountbatten-windsors


----------



## inva (Mar 20, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Fuck knows what you think about the Mail and Sun then
> I'm not going to defend the Guardian's zillion faults, and bloody hell it has plenty, but excess monarchy-loving isn't one of them IMO.
> And that particular article was a useful (albeit cringemaking) forewarning of how nauseating things are going to be generally in this country when the old Q pops it. Looked like it'd been researched properly, probably. Letting your hatred of the Guardian get in the way of that is idiotic.
> Part of what I posted earlier (#1020, p. 35) :


any amount of monarchism is an excess amount. of course it hides behind an air of critical distance.

as the Guardian itself says in a recent pro Prince Charles editorial, it should be "kept under review" but kept all the same.

the Guardian is concerned with the stability and endurance of the institutions of the British state and British capitalism. that it regards itself as a concerned friend rather than, like the Sun and Mail, as an attack dog, doesn't erase the substantial alignment of interests and ideology.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 20, 2017)




----------



## Sprocket. (Mar 20, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> only if the wealth is extracted from the parasitical mountbatten-windsors



The Battenberg-Wettins surely as Brexit looms for those of a Europhobic nature!


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 20, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> The Battenberg-Wettins surely as Brexit looms for those of a Europhobic nature!


pronounced 'bed-wetting'


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 20, 2017)

inva  : OK, I don't have any problems with that post, I might question a nuance or two above, but at least it makes more sense to me than the previous ones from you.

No more time right now.


----------



## brogdale (Apr 18, 2017)

Well?


----------



## Dan U (Apr 18, 2017)

I think it is the Palace that announces all that isn't it?


----------



## brogdale (Apr 18, 2017)

Dan U said:


> I think it is the Palace that announces all that isn't it?


----------



## Dan U (Apr 18, 2017)

"The Arthur Wait Stand is saddened to announce..."


----------



## co-op (Apr 18, 2017)

Dan U said:


> "The Arthur Wait Stand is saddened to announce..."



"....that HRH Mr Parks, has left the stadium"


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 18, 2017)

Guardian reports she's still alive:



> Buckingham Palace has confirmed that the Queen is currently resident at Windsor Castle, my colleague *Matthew Taylor* reports.


----------



## brogdale (Apr 18, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Guardian reports she's still alive:


Dead, then?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 18, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Dead, then?



It would be entertaining if she called an election and the queen died right in the middle of the campaign, shoving all the political propaganda off the news only to be replaced with royal propaganda.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Apr 18, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Guardian reports she's still alive:



Ah, but what about Philip?


----------



## brogdale (Apr 18, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> Ah, but what about Philip?


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Queen's aides 'call ALL royal staff to emergency meeting at Buckingham Palace'

Because it's been over a week since we last had some speculation 

My money's on Phil the Greek having had a stroke or some such. Or, she's abdicating cuz of her age.


----------



## Celyn (May 4, 2017)

It seems a bit crazy to summon all staff from her far-too-many houses to B. Palace. Oh well, phones and email not dramatic enough, perhaps.

Hmm. Wonder if Philip dead. Or perhaps they're both going to say "goodbye" then take a drink of hemlock.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Twitter says the French media are reporting it is indeed old Phil, and he has gorn popped his clogs.

You heard it here first, folks.

(I think I had him on my celebrity death pool. First win ever, if true.)


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Apparently the BBC 'traditionally announces royal deaths at 8am the following day.'

Which is a thing I didn't know.

*looks at clock*


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

He was opening a cricket thing yesterday, looked in fine health.

Am now beginning to doubt the always-meticulously-sourced information from twitter.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

It wouldn't be twitter nor 2017 without Louise Mensch tweeting about this in her own inimitable way: i.e. it's all Russian agitprop conspiracy disinformation


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 4, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> It wouldn't be twitter nor 2017 without Louise Mensch tweeting about this in her own inimitable way: i.e. it's all Russian agitprop conspiracy disinformation


I've just been looking at her twitter feed - bloody hell, she's a right gobshite. 

But calling an emergency meeting - if that's true - does look odd.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

A "source" from Buck Palace has told a New Zealand reporter (wtf) that we can safely assume the Queen and old Phil are not dead.


----------



## Celyn (May 4, 2017)

If Liz or Phil is dead, do we get to go ahead with council elections or is everything meant to stop so that the BBC can tell us to pretend to be sad?

AND General Election, for that matter.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I've just been looking at her twitter feed - bloody hell, she's a right gobshite.
> 
> But calling an emergency meeting - if that's true - does look odd.



She's always been a twat, but she's gone right off the rails recently with her Russian conspiraloonery. She's hilarious and deeply tragic in equal measure.

As for the meeting, yes, a bit odd. Maybe they're putting them all on zero-hours now and they thought bringing them all in like this would make them too unfocused to kick up a stink.


----------



## Celyn (May 4, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> A "source" from Buck Palace has told a New Zealand reporter (wtf) that we can safely assume the Queen and old Phil are not dead.



Huh. Kind of a Schrödinger Buck Palace.

Well, if there's no actual death going on, they're being a bit attention-seeking, eh?


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

I've always missed the "oh my god X is dead!" rumours that are invariably debunked. Always been in bed or out or otherwise engaged. I didn't know what I was missing! They're fun!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 4, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> A "source" from Buck Palace has told a New Zealand reporter (wtf) that we can safely assume the Queen and old Phil are not dead.


That doesn't seem plausible, given how anal they are about protocol. But in this day and age you could see the news leaking in advance of an official announcement. 

Maybe one of the London posters should take vigil outside Buck House to monitor the flagpole.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Celyn said:


> Huh. Kind of a Schrödinger Buck Palace.
> 
> Well, if there's no actual death going on, they're being a bit attention-seeking, eh?



Well he's definitely Schrödinger's Prince Philip atm. Scrolling through the tags on twitter and you seamlessly go from "Prince Philip reported dead at 95" to "Prince Philip not dead, says Palace." 

How the fuck did we cope without twitter when Diana died?


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

The amount of young Americans freaking out and praying that neither of them are dead... jfc. What the fuck investment do you have in an old racist dinosaur who's not even American?


----------



## J Ed (May 4, 2017)

I get excited whenever this thread pops up, stop it!!


----------



## J Ed (May 4, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> The amount of young Americans freaking out and praying that neither of them are dead... jfc. What the fuck investment do you have in an old racist dinosaur who's not even American?



To be fair it makes about as much sense as your average person here actually caring about it


----------



## redsquirrel (May 4, 2017)

J Ed said:


> I get excited whenever this thread pops up, stop it!!


Likewise, saw this at the top and got hopeful.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

This shit is gold.


----------



## bi0boy (May 4, 2017)

Perhaps she will appoint Charles as regent because she can't be arsed to open parliament ever again.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Seen a few photos now, of media types setting up outside the Palace. I guess hedging their bets in case twitter is, for the first time ever, correct.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

News moves fast in twitter land.

Prevailing sentiment atm is that the NZ thing is highly unusual, and a break of protocol, so might not be true. Buck Pal staff can't get hold of the Buck Pal press officer atm and don't know what the meeting is about. And photogs continue to gather outside, as the Royal Standard continues to fly at full mast (which apparently is normal even if someone is dead).

And now over to Sophie with the sport.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Just seen someone tweeting to Elizabeth Hurley asking if she knows what's going on.

She hasn't replied yet.


----------



## bi0boy (May 4, 2017)

Someone has suggested the Queen might be pregnant


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

The Express are being clear to point out the mystery person on the roof was NEAR THE FLAG POLE.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Just seen the first "Charles is dead" tweet. Amongst various "Harry's knocked up his girlfriend" and "The Queen to announce she's taking back the Americas."


----------



## Mr.Bishie (May 4, 2017)

I've got Phil in the death pool too, C'mon!!!!!


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

Some media type bursting everyone's bubble by saying this secret meeting is happening later today, it hasn't already happened.

So my money's on the zero-hours contracts


----------



## bi0boy (May 4, 2017)

Queen Elizabeth Is Dead, Buckingham Palace Source Confirms


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 4, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Queen Elizabeth Is Dead, Buckingham Palace Source Confirms



Some top class reporting


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 4, 2017)

This is when Twitter is at it's best! I especially like that tucked inbetween the Queen/Prince Philip/Charles is dead at snippets like "The Royal Standard is never flown at half-mast" and "Doesn't Princess Charlotte look like her Grandma"  God I love random people!


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (May 4, 2017)

J Ed said:


> To be fair it makes about as much sense as your average person here actually caring about it



Oh, some people here will *really* care about it.


----------



## Reiabuzz (May 4, 2017)

It's two extra bank holidays when she does kick the bucket. Funeral, coronation. Or do we get one for Phil too?


----------



## Crispy (May 4, 2017)

AP says palace says "no cause for concern"


----------



## inva (May 4, 2017)

Crispy said:


> AP says palace says "no cause for concern"


i take this to be like managers having the 'full confidence' of the board in football


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 4, 2017)

I reckon she is going to abdicate as she has had enough of brexit


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 4, 2017)

dp


----------



## moochedit (May 4, 2017)

So after 5 months are they finally gonna admit it?


----------



## Yossarian (May 4, 2017)

Maybe she's decided her uncle had the right idea after all and she's  resigning to marry an American woman.


----------



## bimble (May 4, 2017)

I reckon abdication, to spend more time with her dogs.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

I've chosen Today programme for the actual official announcement, done in the correct manner and proper style then will switch to Sky for the wild speculation and fun stuff


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

Well it's 8 o clock....


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

Can't be a huge deal as the pips went and it's just the headlines


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)




----------



## Sprocket. (May 4, 2017)

Probably summoned staff to inform them they have 90 days notice of going on zero hours contracts.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

News about albatrosses!!! Satellite albatross counting!!


----------



## brogdale (May 4, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> News about albatrosses!!! Satellite albatross counting!!


Sombre martial music can only be minutes away.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Sombre martial music can only be minutes away.


But it'd sound more exciting and cool if they did it directly after the pips :<


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

Plus we didn't get an announcement about the announcement. False alarm.


----------



## jakejb79 (May 4, 2017)

Anybody know what is wrong, if it's not about a death I think someone in the Royal Family is very ill.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

jakejb79 said:


> Anybody know what is wrong, if it's not about a death I think someone in the Royal Family is very ill.


Just one?


----------



## brogdale (May 4, 2017)

Perhaps they're going back to Germany?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Perhaps they're going back to Germany?


Perhaps they're on a one-way trip to ekaterinburg


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (May 4, 2017)

brogdale said:


> Perhaps they're going back to Germany?



Don't do that.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

I suppose if they are having a 'meeting' it's going to last a while, longer than half an hour...?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> I suppose if they are having a 'meeting' it's going to last a while, longer than half an hour...?


It lasts as long as it lasts as the bolsheviks said to nicholas ii


----------



## moochedit (May 4, 2017)

Maybe she is taking direct control and putting philip in charge of the brexit negotiations?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> This shit is gold.



According to the Express the meeting is now at 1000.



> A Buckingham Palace official, talking on condition of anonymity on Thursday morning, said there was "no cause for concern" about the Queen or Prince Philip's welfare.
> 
> The Queen’s servants from as far afield as Balmoral in Aberdeenshire have been ordered to attend the special meeting at 8am led by the Lord Chamberlain – the most senior officer of the Royal household.
> 
> *The time was changed this morning to 10am.*


----------



## bi0boy (May 4, 2017)

I bet they want to get all the staff in one room so they can say no one leaves until the person who didn't flush the bog last week owns up to it.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> According to the Express the meeting is now at 1000.


Redundancies all round  the cheapskate Queen will hand out the p45s in person.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

Today talking about it!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

Peter Hunt, Royal Correspondent - confirms meeting, BBC understands that it's not a meeting regarding 'health'


----------



## Yossarian (May 4, 2017)

"My loyal servants, if you're in this room it means you've been selected for the privilege of serving me in the afterlife..."


----------



## Fingers (May 4, 2017)

Prince Phillip ousts his predecessor, Paul Nuttall from UKIP leadership.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

He thinks it will be 'quite significant'.


----------



## DexterTCN (May 4, 2017)

Maybe she's pregnant?


----------



## bi0boy (May 4, 2017)

So many people sitting, and standing, this morning:


----------



## gentlegreen (May 4, 2017)

The Sun offered :-



... like it was rushed out and they were still working on it ...

but when you click on it :-


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 4, 2017)

the meeting is now being reported on radio with the ' No cause for concern ' 

Someone was speculating that Prince Phillip will be giving up his patronages.

Nothing to see here


----------



## Who PhD (May 4, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Maybe she is taking direct control and putting philip in charge of the brexit negotiations?



Was Jar Jar not available?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

Seems fairly non-protocolish timing for an abdication, considering the election


----------



## moochedit (May 4, 2017)

ruffneck23 said:


> the meeting is now being reported on radio with the ' No cause for concern '



They need to let her family on her home planet know before we get to hear about it.


----------



## Kaka Tim (May 4, 2017)

Shes going to be the new Doctor Who? 

could work. And exciting new companions with Mad racist Phil and wreck-head Harry. Maybe the Queen mum could occasionally pop up in the tardis as a disembodied, ghostly head to distribute gin and racing tips - Before she morphs into Davros (they have the same teeth - which is a bit of a giveaway).


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

I hear the Queen ordered a load of barleywater so I fear some royal jonestown thing


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

I don't see why all employees need calling to a meeting unless it's directly to do with their employment.


----------



## brogdale (May 4, 2017)

Has Yewtree been closed yet? Just asking.


----------



## fishfinger (May 4, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> I hear the Queen ordered a load of barleywater so I fear some royal jonestown thing


White knights!


----------



## Fez909 (May 4, 2017)

Reiabuzz said:


> It's two extra bank holidays when she does kick the bucket. Funeral, coronation. Or do we get one for Phil too?


Extra bank holidays?

This confirms that JC is the lizards' chosen candidate for PM!

Clearly the reptilians are worried that the Tories are going to bring about _too much_ unrest with their policies, and that threatens their positions in society, and they've nipped it in the bud.

Go Jezza!


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

Unless some more Bombay mix has gone missing


----------



## Who PhD (May 4, 2017)

Emergency meeting!

Did the royal arse wiper phone in sick today? Was he deported by Theresa May?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> I don't see why all employees need calling to a meeting unless it's directly to do with their employment.


Well, they're a business and it's customary to let the staff know big news first so it doesn't have to be _employment_ in the sense of their jobs, more what the boss has decided about X


----------



## Callie (May 4, 2017)

I don't want more bank holidays in May!  Spread them out a bit


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Seems fairly non-protocolish timing for an abdication, considering the election


you have it the wrong way round, seems fairly non-protocolish timing for an election, considering the abdication


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Well, they're a business and it's customary to let the staff know big news first so it doesn't have to be _employment_ in the sense of their jobs, more what the boss has decided about X



We get bulletins. I'd love to spend a day travelling the length of the country to be told the MD is retiring. 

Actually, are tax payers funding this?


----------



## bi0boy (May 4, 2017)

Maybe they found Maddie?


----------



## xenon (May 4, 2017)

Maybe Charles has done something terrible again.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 4, 2017)

The rumour is that she's to announce she's taking over from Capaldi as the new Doctor.


----------



## bluescreen (May 4, 2017)

Either she's making Charlie Regent. Or she's sacking a load of staff or parting with some of the palaces to save money. Guess which.


----------



## Teaboy (May 4, 2017)

Pah.  This is going to be an anti-climax.  Beeb is already reporting such meetings happen roughly once a year.  We're just going to have to accept they're invincible.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 4, 2017)

Perhaps Catherine and William are getting divorced.


----------



## killer b (May 4, 2017)

Prince Edward announcing his engagement to Kylie Minogue


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 4, 2017)

killer b said:


> Prince Edward announcing his engagement to Kylie Minogue



Jason Donovan would be more credible.


----------



## Teaboy (May 4, 2017)

She'd decided to leave it all it to local donkey sanctuary?


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Jason Donovan would be more credible.



The Queen gathered her staff to announce that Jason Donovan is marrying Kylie Minogue?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 4, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> The Queen gathered her staff to announce that Jason Donovan is marrying Kylie Minogue?



Fucking true royalty them is Kyles & Jase.


----------



## jakejb79 (May 4, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> The Queen gathered her staff to announce that Jason Donovan is marrying Kylie Minogue?




So 1987.....


----------



## bimble (May 4, 2017)

(DM)


----------



## RD2003 (May 4, 2017)

bimble said:


> View attachment 105896  (DM)


She wants clarification, as she's heard that if she gets some Poles in to do the work, they might have to go home before it's finished.


----------



## Yossarian (May 4, 2017)

bimble said:


> View attachment 105896  (DM)



"And a special thanks to our colleagues from Scotland who've made the journey down here for me to tell them about the problems we're experiencing with shitty plumbing here at our London facility."


----------



## felixthecat (May 4, 2017)

Well that was a very unexciting announcement.
95 year old retires


----------



## souljacker (May 4, 2017)

Can you actually retire from doing fuck all?


----------



## flypanam (May 4, 2017)

Shit, I was hoping that the man who wanted to be a tampon was to be king.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 4, 2017)

You get pictures of an elephant on BBC though


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 4, 2017)

Pah.  What a disappointment.


----------



## Celyn (May 4, 2017)

How damn boring. No need for all that announcement drama if they're still failing to die off.


----------



## magneze (May 4, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> She'd decided to leave it all it to local donkey sanctuary?


The UK?


----------



## bi0boy (May 4, 2017)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Pah.  What a disappointment.



You'd hoped to see him attend a charity concert in November?


----------



## Fez909 (May 4, 2017)

We woz robbed


----------



## Teaboy (May 4, 2017)

There must be another Royal Variety Show due and he just can't take any more.  There is only so much suffering one man can take royal or not.


----------



## ferrelhadley (May 4, 2017)

So Boris finally done enough to take over as national comedy racist. They have been searching for Phil's replacement for decades.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

souljacker said:


> Can you actually retire from doing fuck all?



Is he now to be called Mr Windsor?


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

I bet he still gets the perks of the job.


----------



## bimble (May 4, 2017)

Excruciatingly dull announcement. Imagine if you'd come all the way down from Scotland for 10am to get told that.


----------



## Celyn (May 4, 2017)

Will he hand in his uniform? And I suppose he won't be getting subsidised meals at the works canteen any more.


----------



## Gromit (May 4, 2017)

felixthecat said:


> Well that was a very unexciting announcement.
> 95 year old retires


He only just now qualified for a state pension based on this actual amount of work he's done whilst in the UK.


----------



## moochedit (May 4, 2017)

So no bank holiday then?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 4, 2017)

Gromit said:


> He only just now qualified for a state pension based on this actual amount of work he's done whilst in the UK.



Still earlier than anyone currently in the 40's will get it if the Tories get their way.


----------



## 8den (May 4, 2017)

The Sun reported Prince Philip had died. He hasn't

Someone at the sun published the dummy headline


----------



## Sprocket. (May 4, 2017)

Thought they may announce that Kelvin MacKenzie was to stand in for Philip!


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

bimble said:


> Excruciatingly dull announcement. Imagine if you'd come all the way down from Scotland for 10am to get told that.



Though I imagine they get expenses and a chance for bit of a jolly in t'smoke. Not all bad methinks.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 4, 2017)

If nothing else it's a sign he's becoming incapable of managing the strenuous rounds public engagements nowadays - all that waving and making offensive remarks must be tiring.  So it's a matter of time.

Probably done on medical advice I suspect.


----------



## Wilf (May 4, 2017)

ferrelhadley said:


> So Boris finally done enough to take over as national comedy racist. They have been searching for Phil's replacement for decades.


Apparently Roy Chubby Brown had a strong interview and yet again Jim Davidson was seen as a 'plausible' candidate.  Informally, they've both been told there will be work for them in the future. Now that we are free from EU red tape, there's a chance for real talent to flourish.


----------



## Gromit (May 4, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> Thought they may announce that Kelvin MacKenzie was to stand in for Philip!


Time for a CGI Duke of Edinburgh like Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher in Rogue One.


----------



## Wilf (May 4, 2017)

Celyn said:


> Will he hand in his uniform? And I suppose he won't be getting subsidised meals at the works canteen any more.


It was a sham marriage in 1947. He has to fuck off back to Greece.


----------



## Wilf (May 4, 2017)

Curses! Anti-Phil double post.


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

We would do well to reflect on our own mortality and eventual senesence and stop Prince Philip Larkin about...

*The Old Fools*

_What do they think has happened, the old fools, 
To make them like this? Do they somehow suppose 
It's more grown-up when your mouth hangs open and drools, 
And you keep on pissing yourself, and can't remember 
Who called this morning? Or that, if they only chose, 
They could alter things back to when they danced all night, 
Or went to their wedding, or sloped arms some September? 
Or do they fancy there's really been no change, 
And they've always behaved as if they were crippled or tight, 
Or sat through days of thin continuous dreaming 
Watching the light move? If they don't (and they can't), it's strange; 
Why aren't they screaming? 

At death you break up: the bits that were you 
Start speeding away from each other for ever 
With no one to see. It's only oblivion, true: 
We had it before, but then it was going to end, 
And was all the time merging with a unique endeavour 
To bring to bloom the million-petalled flower 
Of being here. Next time you can't pretend 
There'll be anything else. And these are the first signs: 
Not knowing how, not hearing who, the power 
Of choosing gone. Their looks show that they're for it: 
Ash hair, toad hands, prune face dried into lines - 
How can they ignore it? 

Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms 
Inside you head, and people in them, acting 
People you know, yet can't quite name; each looms 
Like a deep loss restored, from known doors turning, 
Setting down a lamp, smiling from a stair, extracting 
A known book from the shelves; or sometimes only 
The rooms themselves, chairs and a fire burning, 
The blown bush at the window, or the sun's 
Faint friendliness on the wall some lonely 
Rain-ceased midsummer evening. That is where they live: 
Not here and now, but where all happened once. 
This is why they give 

An air of baffled absence, trying to be there 
Yet being here. For the rooms grow farther, leaving 
Incompetent cold, the constant wear and tear 
Of taken breath, and them crouching below 
Extinction's alp, the old fools, never perceiving 
How near it is. This must be what keeps them quiet: 
The peak that stays in view wherever we go 
For them is rising ground. Can they never tell 
What is dragging them back, and how it will end? Not at night? 
Not when the strangers come? Never, throughout 
The whole hideous inverted childhood? Well, 
We shall find out._


----------



## Gromit (May 4, 2017)

phillm said:


> We would do well to reflect on our own mortality and eventual senesence and stop Prince Philip Larkin about...
> 
> *The Old Fools*
> 
> ...


I always suspect the reason people quote shit like this is because they aren't creative or original enough to express their own thoughts and ideas and so borrow other people's like a cuckoo hijacking a nest.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

phillm said:


> We would do well to reflect on our own mortality and eventual senesence and stop Prince Philip Larkin about...
> 
> *The Old Fools*
> 
> ...


never to late for yeats

SAILING TO BYZANTIUM

I
That is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees,
—Those dying generations—at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.

II
An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

III
O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

IV
Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

You might think that and you are entitled to your opinion. Sorry to disturb your elegant and original train of thought with crass plagarism stolen from dead sexist and racist white men. I also realise that if you have nothing good to say then say nothing doesn't apply around these parts.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

Gromit said:


> I always suspect the reason people quote shit like this is because they aren't creative or original enough to express their own thoughts and ideas and so borrow other people's like a cuckoo hijacking a nest.


yeh i've heard that before.


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> never to late for yeats
> 
> SAILING TO BYZANTIUM
> 
> ...



I always suspect the reason people quote shit like this is because they aren't creative or original enough to express their own thoughts and ideas and so borrow other people's like a cuckoo hijacking a nest.


----------



## Idris2002 (May 4, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> never to late for yeats
> 
> SAILING TO BYZANTIUM
> 
> ...


I quote this in the seminar yesterday:

*The Curse Of Cromwell*

YOU ask what -- I have found, and far and wide I go: 
Nothing but Cromwell's house and Cromwell's murderous crew, 
The lovers and the dancers are beaten into the clay, 
And the tall men and the swordsmen and the horsemen, where are they? 
And there is an old beggar wandering in his pride -- - 
His fathers served their fathers before Christ was crucified. 
O what of that, O what of that, 
'What is there left to say? 

All neighbourly content and easy talk are gone, 
But there's no good complaining, for money's rant is on. 
He that's mounting up must on his neighbour mount, 
And we and all the Muses are things of no account. 
They have schooling of their own, but I pass their schooling by, 
What can they know that we know that know the time to die? 
O what of that, O what of that, 
What is there left to say? 

But there's another knowledge that my heart destroys, 
As the fox in the old fable destroyed the Spartan boy's 
Because it proves that things both can and cannot be; 
That the swordsmen and the ladies can still keep company, 
Can pay the poet for a verse and hear the fiddle sound, 
That I am still their setvant though all are underground. 
O what of that, O what of that, 
What is there left to say? 
I came on a great house in the middle of the night, 
Its open lighted doorway and its windows all alight, 
And all my friends were there and made me welcome too; 
But I woke in an old ruin that the winds. howled through; 
And when I pay attention I must out and walk 
Among the dogs and horses that understand my talk. 
O what of that, O what of that, 
What is there left to say?

William Butler Yeats 

We were discussing a paper which quoted this:

*Ruins Of A Great House - Poem by Derek Walcott*


						though our longest sun sets at right declensions and
makes but winter arches,
it cannot be long before we lie down in darkness, and
have our light in ashes. . .
Browne, Urn Burial
Stones only, the disjecta membra of this Great House,
Whose moth-like girls are mixed with candledust,
Remain to file the lizard's dragonish claws.
The mouths of those gate cherubs shriek with stain;
Axle and coach wheel silted under the muck
Of cattle droppings.
Three crows flap for the trees
And settle, creaking the eucalyptus boughs.
A smell of dead limes quickens in the nose
The leprosy of empire.
‘Farewell, green fields,
Farewell, ye happy groves!'
Marble like Greece, like Faulkner's South in stone,
Deciduous beauty prospered and is gone,
But where the lawn breaks in a rash of trees
A spade below dead leaves will ring the bone
Of some dead animal or human thing
Fallen from evil days, from evil times.
It seems that the original crops were limes
Grown in that silt that clogs the river's skirt;
The imperious rakes are gone, their bright girls gone,
The river flows, obliterating hurt.
I climbed a wall with the grille ironwork
Of exiled craftsmen protecting that great house
From guilt, perhaps, but not from the worm's rent
Nor from the padded calvary of the mouse.
And when a wind shook in the limes I heard
What Kipling heard, the death of a great empire, the
abuse
Of ignorance by Bible and by sword.
A green lawn, broken by low walls of stone,
Dipped to the rivulet, and pacing, I thought next
Of men like Hawkins, Walter Raleigh, Drake,
Ancestral murderers and poets, more perplex4ed
In memory now by every ulcerous crime.
The world's green age then was rotting lime
Whose stench became the charnel galleon's text.
The rot remains with us, the men are gone.
But, as dead ash is lifted in a wind
That fans the blackening ember of the mind,
My eyes burned from the ashen prose of Donne.
Ablaze with rage I thought,
Some slave is rotting in this manorial lake,
But still the coal of my compassion fought
That Albion too was once
A colony like ours, ‘part of the continent, piece of the
main',
Nook-shotten, rook o'erblown, deranged
By foaming channels and the vain expense
Of bitter faction.
All in compassion ends
So differently from what the heart arranged:
‘as well as if a manor of thy friend's. . . ‘ 						



Derek Walcott


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 4, 2017)

Is it National Poetry Day?


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

Thanks for sharing that 'shit' I hadn't come across Derek Walcott before - I shall dig deeper and wilf away the moments that make up a dull day...


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Is it National Poetry Day?



First teucher and his* U75 dogging police* now *U75 no poetry police* (quite like that pun!) this place is crawling with self-appointed filth


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

Phillth


----------



## Gromit (May 4, 2017)

*I Eat My Peas with Honey
By Anonymous*

I eat my peas with honey; 
I've done it all my life. 
It makes the peas taste funny, 
But it keeps them on the knife.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 4, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> You'd hoped to see him attend a charity concert in November?



No, I hoped to see him being removed from Buck House and loaded into a hearse.


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> There must be another Royal Variety Show due and he just can't take any more.  There is only so much suffering one man can take royal or not.



Particuarly so since Britain's Got Talent winner gets involved and Rolf Harris is otherwise engaged.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

phillm said:


> I always suspect the reason people quote shit like this is because they aren't creative or original enough to express their own thoughts and ideas and so borrow other people's like a cuckoo hijacking a nest.


have you ever had a thought of your own which was in any way original?


----------



## not a trot (May 4, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> I bet he still gets the perks of the job.



Yeah waking up next to madge every morning is a real perk. Wonder if they have a little sniff under the duvet when one of them lets rip.


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> have you ever had a thought of your own which was in any way original?



no never...not going to start now either ... (can't be arsed to get the King Jame's version either)

* Ecclesiastes 1:9New International Version (NIV)*
9 What has been will be again,
	what has been done will be done again;
	there is nothing new under the sun.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

phillm said:


> no never...not going to start now either ... (can't be arsed to get the King Jame's version either)
> 
> * Ecclesiastes 1:9New International Version (NIV)*
> 9 What has been will be again,
> ...


strange... didn't have you down as a bible-basher


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> strange... didn't have you down as a bible-basher



no I'm not a god botherer - just spent 10 years in Sunday school getting the stuff rammed down my throat so I remember huge chunks.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

phillm said:


> no I'm not a god botherer - just spent 10 years in Sunday school getting the stuff rammed down my throat


 so you vomit huge chunks.


----------



## phillm (May 4, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> so you vomit huge chunks.



3 lines would be more of a splash...


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

phillm said:


> 3 lines would be more of a splash...


plus the huge heading, to let everyone know from whence it came


----------



## bimble (May 4, 2017)

Ecclesiastes is brilliant.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

not a trot said:


> Yeah waking up next to madge every morning is a real perk. Wonder if they have a little sniff under the duvet when one of them lets rip.



I doubt they share the same bedroom let alone a bed.


----------



## Idris2002 (May 4, 2017)

Gromit said:


> *I Eat My Peas with Honey*
> *By Anonymous*
> 
> I eat my peas with honey;
> ...


The boy stood on the burning deck, 

His feet were full of blisters.

The blaze came up and burnt his pants:

So now he wears his sister's.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

Idris2002 said:


> The boy stood on the burning deck,
> 
> His feet were full of blisters.
> 
> ...



There was a young fellow of Ealing
Endowed with such delicate feeling,
When he read on the door,
"Don't spit on the floor",
He lent back and spat on the ceiling.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 4, 2017)

arrogant old fuckstain, summoning his minions from throughout the land to hear that he, prince phil, is hanging up his...what does he do? open places? hanging up his giant scissors.

what a swizz, i was hoping for a royal funeral


----------



## mikey mikey (May 4, 2017)




----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> arrogant old fuckstain, summoning his minions from throughout the land to hear that he, prince phil, is hanging up his...what does he do? open places? hanging up his giant scissors.
> 
> what a swizz, i was hoping for a royal funeral


give it a month or two.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

Magnus McGinty said:


> I doubt they share the same palace let alone a bed.


corrected for you


----------



## Idris2002 (May 4, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> arrogant old fuckstain, summoning his minions from throughout the land to hear that he, prince phil, is hanging up his...what does he do? open places? hanging up his giant scissors.
> 
> what a swizz, i was hoping for a royal funeral


I don't think this one rhymes or scans properly, Kimble.


----------



## teqniq (May 4, 2017)

If only, but 

Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment - The Rochdale Herald


----------



## hash tag (May 4, 2017)

As there is no Greggs in Windsor, will he choose Slough or MAidenhead I wonder?

Madge; the key phrases The secret codeword for when the Queen dies - revealed


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

hash tag said:


> As there is no Greggs in Windsor, will he choose Slough or MAidenhead I wonder?
> 
> Madge; the key phrases The secret codeword for when the Queen dies - revealed


the "secret" codeword was revealed months ago on this very thread.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Operation London Bridge: the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death
> 
> Just so you are aware of the protocol people. If it turns out to be accurate, I may just end it all myself rather than have to tolerate it


16 march


----------



## hash tag (May 4, 2017)

But Im old I dont remember stuff!


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

hash tag said:


> But Im old I dont remember stuff!


that's why we have a search function, so you don't have to remember


----------



## hash tag (May 4, 2017)

remember what?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 4, 2017)

hash tag said:


> remember what?


that's better.


----------



## ViolentPanda (May 4, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> Queen's aides 'call ALL royal staff to emergency meeting at Buckingham Palace'
> 
> Because it's been over a week since we last had some speculation
> 
> My money's on Phil the Greek having had a stroke or some such. Or, she's abdicating cuz of her age.



From what I've heard, Phil is always having a stro...oh, you mean the other meaning!


----------



## ViolentPanda (May 4, 2017)

J Ed said:


> I get excited whenever this thread pops up, stop it!!



Me too.  Sexually.


----------



## hash tag (May 4, 2017)

ViolentPanda said:


> Me too.  Sexually.



I've read your posts in another thread!


----------



## ViolentPanda (May 4, 2017)

bi0boy said:


> Maybe they found Maddie?



Down the back of Chazzer's sofa.


----------



## Idris2002 (May 4, 2017)

ViolentPanda said:


> Down the back of Chazzer's sofa.


What can this mean?


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 4, 2017)

I'm guessing it means furniture belonging to Charles.


----------



## mystic pyjamas (May 4, 2017)

Idris2002 said:


> What can this mean?


You don't wanna know.


----------



## jakejb79 (May 4, 2017)

Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment - The Rochdale Herald


----------



## bluescreen (May 4, 2017)

jakejb79 said:


> Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment - The Rochdale Herald


You're joking! Not another one? I don't believe it!
Poor blighter had to undergo a work capability assessment earlier just this very afternoon.
post #1250


----------



## Maltin (May 5, 2017)

phillm said:


> First teucher and his* U75 dogging police* now *U75 no poetry police* (quite like that pun!) this place is crawling with self-appointed filth


The pedantry police wish to point out it's teuchter not teucher.


----------



## mikey mikey (May 5, 2017)




----------



## bi0boy (Jun 21, 2017)

Philip can't be arsed because it's too hot


----------



## nuffsaid (Jun 21, 2017)

On R4 Today programme they mentioned that during todays Queen speech the Crown will be carried ahead of her rather than her wearing it as it is quite heavy, apparently, and it was explained that each year she practices wearing it around a week before the Queen's Speech. They mentioned it was the same as a bag of flour on your head, which they thought was quite heavy for anyone let alone a 93 year old lady -

From Wikipedia -  The Imperial State Crown is *31.5* cm (*12.4* in) tall and weighs *1.06 kg* (*2.3 lb*),

I thought...............bollox:


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 21, 2017)

do we get a day off when he dies or are we lumped with a shitty minutes silence for a lifetime of (self) service ?


----------



## billy_bob (Jun 21, 2017)

nuffsaid said:


> On R4 Today programme they mentioned that during todays Queen speech the Crown will be carried ahead of her rather than her wearing it as it is quite heavy, apparently, and it was explained that each year she practices wearing it around a week before the Queen's Speech. They mentioned it was the same as a bag of flour on your head, which they thought was quite heavy for anyone let alone a 93 year old lady -



Wearing an overpriced bejewelled pin-cushion is literally the only thing in her job description, for fuck's sake. Time to quit, Madge.


----------



## bimble (Jun 21, 2017)

She's totally wearing the EU flag for a hat today.


----------



## 2hats (Jun 21, 2017)

bimble said:


> She's totally wearing the EU flag for a hat today.


The 2025 EU flag


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2017)

2hats said:


> The 2025 EU flag


i think you'll find it's the eu flag according to prince george


----------



## moochedit (Jun 21, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> do we get a day off when he dies or are we lumped with a shitty minutes silence for a lifetime of (self) service ?



Well i will be far too upset to work. In fact i think i need the afternoon off today as i cant concentrate with worry about philips hospital visit as im sure many other people do.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2017)

moochedit said:


> Well i will be far too upset to work. In fact i think i need the afternoon off today as i cant concentrate with worry about philips hospital visit as im sure many other people do.


yeh but pray to the deity of your choice that it's something serious


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jun 21, 2017)

Witchell just reported that y'day, "the Duke spent a very hot afternoon with the queen."


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 21, 2017)




----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 21, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> do we get a day off when he dies or are we lumped with a shitty minutes silence for a lifetime of (self) service ?


Protocol is 1 minute of silence for each year of his life. Brenda has two birthdays, so double time when she dies. Then back to work.


----------



## moochedit (Jun 21, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Witchell just reported that y'day, "the Duke spent a very hot afternoon with the queen."



Pass the mind bleach


----------



## gentlegreen (Jun 21, 2017)

bimble said:


> View attachment 109834



How did she turn into a fecking upholstered sofa ... seems like only yesterday she was a bright young kid ...


----------



## moochedit (Aug 2, 2017)

just seen on google news app on my phone


----------



## moochedit (Aug 2, 2017)

I'm guessing this was a link set up ready for when phil croaks it but someone has published it early   it's appearing in google news at the moment.

Prince Philip retires: Duke of Edinburgh to meet Royal Marines at final public event

(redirects to story about him retiring)  (hover over link to see url)


----------



## Teaboy (Aug 2, 2017)

The press are just gagging for the queen and racist Phil to croak it.  They can barely contain themselves.


----------



## Pickman's model (Aug 2, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> The press are just gagging for the queen and racist Phil to croak it.  They can barely contain themselves.


please let it be soon, i want to get the days of national mourning out of the way as quickly as possible.


----------



## Teaboy (Aug 2, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> please let it be soon, i want to get the days of national mourning out of the way as quickly as possible.



Yes. It would be better if it was the weather is fine as we can always go for a nice walk or a picnic or something. If it happens in the winter there will be no escape.


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 2, 2017)

after the funeral there'll be the coronation. The orb and the sceptre will be brought out


----------



## Pickman's model (Aug 2, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> after the funeral there'll be the coronation. The orb and the sceptre will be brought out


bring back colonel blood, all is forgiven


----------



## moochedit (Aug 2, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> The press are just gagging for the queen and racist Phil to croak it.  They can barely contain themselves.



"Get your 22 page full colour pull out souvinier special edition as we look back at the life of" ..etc.. kerching!


----------



## moochedit (Aug 2, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> after the funeral there'll be the coronation.



Oy no spoilers. I haven't seen episode 4 yet. Bloody torrent fiends. Wait til next week like the rest of us


----------



## planetgeli (Aug 2, 2017)

moochedit said:


> I'm guessing this was a link set up ready for when phil croaks it but someone has published it early



They obviously pushed the 'death' button instead of the 'retirement' one. 

They should have it marked more clearly. Like Diesel.


----------



## stavros (Aug 2, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> after the funeral there'll be the coronation. The orb and the sceptre will be brought out



I like the Orb (better than Elton John), but are the Sceptre any good?


----------



## moochedit (Aug 2, 2017)

the other papers are having a gloat now  

The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip

Daily Telegraph wrongly announces Duke of Edinburgh's death

Daily Telegraph publishes story saying Prince Philip is dead

apparently the sun did the same thing in may


----------



## not-bono-ever (Aug 3, 2017)

Dirty old bastard


----------



## moochedit (Feb 13, 2018)

Apparently the commonwealth are having a "secret" meeting today to decide if charlie gets the head of commonwealth job or not when lizzy dies. (On various news sites)

Why the urgency?  what do they know?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Feb 13, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Apparently the commonwealth are having a "secret" meeting today to decide if charlie gets the head of commonwealth job or not when lizzy dies. (On various news sites)
> 
> Why the urgency?  what do they know?



Probably nothing.  But it's wise to make plans for when a 91 year old dies!


----------



## Sprocket. (Feb 13, 2018)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Probably nothing.  But it's wise to make plans for when a 91 year old dies!



Very true, planning helps no end.
Take my grandpa for instance, he died on his 95th birthday and we had only given him half his bumps!


----------



## Teaboy (Feb 13, 2018)

Would be funny if they decide they don't want that twat Charles.


----------



## Idris2002 (Feb 13, 2018)

Teaboy said:


> Would be funny if they decide they don't want that twat Charles.


Australia rejected him as Governor-General years ago, didn't they?


----------



## heinous seamus (Feb 13, 2018)

Maybe they're planning to assassinate her.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 13, 2018)




----------



## Magnus McGinty (Feb 13, 2018)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Probably nothing.  But it's wise to make plans for when a 91 year old dies!



But not a 90 year old, evidently.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 13, 2018)

heinous seamus said:


> Maybe they're planning to assassinate her.



Are there any grassy knoll's near buckingham palace?


----------



## not a trot (Feb 13, 2018)

Teaboy said:


> Would be funny if they decide they don't want that twat Charles.




Even funnier if they tell the whole family to go fuck themselves.


----------



## sealion (Feb 13, 2018)

heinous seamus said:


> Maybe they're planning to assassinate her.


I'd take one for the team just to get rid of that old stoinker. If mi6 are reading this then i'm just kidding


----------



## billy_bob (Feb 13, 2018)

sealion said:


> I'd take one for the team just to get rid of that old stoinker. If mi6 are reading this then i'm just kidding



IF MI6 are reading this - that sounds like a double bluff to me...


----------



## stavros (Feb 13, 2018)

Revivals of this thread just taunt us.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Feb 13, 2018)

sealion said:


> I'd take one for the team just to get rid of that old stoinker. If mi6 are reading this then i'm just kidding



Wow this escalated quickly... 

Delivery man talked of killing David Cameron and Queen, court hears


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 14, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Are there any grassy knoll's near buckingham palace?



Parliament Hill? Shooters Hill?  I guess you'd need quite a big gun, a Howitzer might manage it.


----------



## moochedit (Jun 28, 2018)

she has a "cold"  this is it 

Queen pulls out of St Paul's Cathedral service because she feels 'under the weather'


----------



## souljacker (Jun 28, 2018)

Imagine if she died 5 minutes before kick off of the World Cup final, featuring England. That would test the monarchist lickspittles.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 28, 2018)

souljacker said:


> Imagine if she died 5 minutes before kick off of the World Cup final, featuring England. That would test the monarchist lickspittles.


imagine if she died just as a vital var decision was being made and they pulled the game and started playing funereal music


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jun 28, 2018)

souljacker said:


> Imagine if she died 5 minutes before kick off of the World Cup final, featuring England. That would test the monarchist lickspittles.



BBC would interrupt the broadcast. nation would go ballistic. we'd become a republic by half time.


----------



## souljacker (Jun 28, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> imagine if she died just as a vital var decision was being made and they pulled the game and started playing funereal music



I reckon we'd be a republic in about 5 minutes.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 28, 2018)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> Wow this escalated quickly...
> 
> Delivery man talked of killing David Cameron and Queen, court hears


they can't jail everyone who talked of killing david cameron, the prisons would be thrice as full as they are now. at least.


----------



## souljacker (Jun 28, 2018)

Jinx Kaka Tim


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 28, 2018)

I hope not, there is nothing I would like to see more than her majesty greeting the team back from Russia with their newly won World Cup*










*no


----------



## ddraig (Jun 28, 2018)

souljacker said:


> Imagine if she died 5 minutes before kick off of the World Cup final, featuring England. That would test the monarchist lickspittles.


not going to happen!
englund in the final


----------



## souljacker (Jun 28, 2018)

ddraig said:


> not going to happen!
> englund in the final



They've got a better chance than Wales


----------



## ddraig (Jun 28, 2018)

souljacker said:


> They've got a better chance than Wales


O rly!!?


----------



## stavros (Jun 29, 2018)

souljacker said:


> Imagine if she died 5 minutes before kick off of the World Cup final, featuring England. That would test the monarchist lickspittles.



The national anthem would be sung somewhat tongue in cheek.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 30, 2018)

souljacker said:


> Imagine if she died 5 minutes before kick off of the World Cup final, featuring England. That would test the monarchist lickspittles.



They'd just have to change it back to God Save the King and carry on from there. It's what the auld bat would've wanted.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 30, 2018)

SpookyFrank said:


> They'd just have to change it back to God Save the King and carry on from there. It's what the auld bat would've wanted.


Imagine the cacophony as 3/4 of the crowd sings queen through force of habit and confusion ensues


----------



## killer b (Jun 30, 2018)

just seen this on the twitter, from an article in the times. bring it on.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 30, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> Imagine the cacophony as 3/4 of the crowd sings queen through force of habit and confusion ensues



I like to think it would average out as 'Quing'.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jul 3, 2018)

> *‘Castle Dove’ review takes place after Queen Elizabeth complained of feeling unwell *
> By John Smith Sunday, 01 July 2018 18:17  0
> 
> 
> ...



‘Castle Dove’ review takes place after Queen Elizabeth complained of feeling unwell


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jul 3, 2018)

gentlegreen said:


> ‘Castle Dove’ review takes place after Queen Elizabeth complained of feeling unwell
> 
> View attachment 139773 View attachment 139772



Surely the whole point of a monarchy is that power instantly and magically passes to the next cousin-fucker in line with zero human intervention? Why bother planning for it?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2018)

SpookyFrank said:


> Surely the whole point of a monarchy is that power instantly and magically passes to the next cousin-fucker in line with zero human intervention? Why bother planning for it?


helps pass the time until she rolls a seven


----------



## Fez909 (Jul 3, 2018)

SpookyFrank said:


> Surely the whole point of a monarchy is that power instantly and magically passes to the next cousin-fucker in line with zero human intervention? Why bother planning for it?


Because one is suprisingly likeable for a Queen and the other is a dangerous loonspud, who will alienate the Royal Family from the subset of the British public who are into this sort of thing, and whip up republican sentiment to levels not seen in a generation.


----------



## chilango (Jul 3, 2018)

What's you Castle Dove playlist?

I'd start with:



Followed by:


----------



## SikhWarrioR (Jul 3, 2018)

Sorry but as far as I am concerned these are the best things for British Royalty Especially when chas saxe-coberg   -gotha takes over from his mother lizzy saxe-coberg=gotha


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 3, 2018)

SikhWarrioR said:


> -gotha takes over from his mother lizzyard saxe-coberg=gotha



That's better.


----------



## elbows (Jul 4, 2018)

Fez909 said:


> Because one is suprisingly likeable for a Queen and the other is a dangerous loonspud, who will alienate the Royal Family from the subset of the British public who are into this sort of thing, and whip up republican sentiment to levels not seen in a generation.



Chexit can fix that


----------



## gosub (Jul 5, 2018)

Trump to meet Queen Elizabeth despite chorus of discontent

Dying would be a very British way of getting out of it


----------



## pesh (Jul 5, 2018)

which one are you thinking of?


----------



## danny la rouge (Jul 5, 2018)

pesh said:


> which one are you thinking of?


Twofer.


----------



## frogwoman (Jul 5, 2018)

i dreamt that the queen had died last night.


----------



## pesh (Jul 5, 2018)

danny la rouge said:


> Twofer.


We’re gonna need a bigger Fiat Uno


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2018)

gosub said:


> Trump to meet Queen Elizabeth despite chorus of discontent
> 
> Dying would be a very British way of getting out of it



sounds like the queen would love trump


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Jul 5, 2018)

Can confirm she looked fit and healthy at Holyroodhouse today. I wasn't there, but two folk I was at school with were judging by Facebook posts.


----------



## stavros (Jul 5, 2018)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> she looked fit



Each to their own.


----------



## 2hats (Jul 5, 2018)

gosub said:


> Trump to meet Queen Elizabeth despite chorus of discontent
> 
> Dying would be a very British way of getting out of it


I've got my fingers crossed that she carks it shortly after he lands. Best timing: just as he goes to grope gets introduced to her. That way she doesn’t have to put up with him and upstages him at the same time. Bonus points if England make it to the world cup final and she simultaneously creates a TV broadcasting/national dilemma.


----------



## stavros (Jul 6, 2018)

How would she cope with being in close proximity to a bigoted old man with an inability to bite his tongue?


----------



## elbows (Jul 6, 2018)

2hats said:


> I've got my fingers crossed that she carks it shortly after he lands. Best timing: just as he goes to grope gets introduced to her. That way she doesn’t have to put up with him and upstages him at the same time. Bonus points if England make it to the world cup final and she simultaneously creates a TV broadcasting/national dilemma.



If she is going to die during their meeting, may as well fit her with a poison gas tooth.


----------



## Jeremiah18.17 (Jul 9, 2018)

In amongst all the current Tory shenanigans on the news, there was a story about the Christening of her latest great grandchild which I think said she didn’t attend..........significant?


----------



## chilango (Jul 9, 2018)

May resigns. England win the world cup. Mrs Windsor dies.

Sunday could be a busy day.


----------



## belboid (Jul 9, 2018)

chilango said:


> May resigns. England win the world cup. Mrs Windsor dies.
> 
> Sunday could be a busy day.


The day after Trump had to escape from a rampaging mob by helicopter, too.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jul 9, 2018)

chilango said:


> May resigns. England win the world cup. Mrs Windsor dies.
> .


Mogg and woo woo chaz Windsor take their places ...


----------



## chilango (Jul 9, 2018)

Spoiler: It's coming home


----------



## Edie (Jul 9, 2018)

I would absolutely fucking love the Queen to die the day we won the World Cup. Surely no amount of media manipulation could portray a nation in mourning.


----------



## stavros (Jul 13, 2018)

She could've upstaged the Orange Orifice by karking it yesterday.

ETA: Or immediately upon physical contact with him.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Jul 13, 2018)

She didnt look so well walking around the garden today checking out the shiny shoes.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jul 13, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> checking out the shiny shoes


Sounds like a euphemism for "falling-over-drunk".


----------



## brogdale (Dec 24, 2018)

Not croaked...recent images prove she's still around to record her annual broadcast.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 24, 2018)

With technology nowadays we don't know whether the video is completely fake.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 24, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> With technology nowadays we don't know whether the video is completely fake.



Looks genuine to me.


----------



## stavros (Dec 24, 2018)

It's nice that she still has photos of a youthful Phil in her office.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 24, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Looks genuine to me.


Hmm...

Have the lizard overlords slipped up here? Different pic, different clothes to conceal the scales!


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 24, 2018)

Can u pls stop bumping thread as it always disappoints when I click into it

Tks


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 24, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> Can u pls stop bumping thread as it always disappoints when I click into it
> 
> Tks



It'll be true one of these days...


----------



## moochedit (Dec 24, 2018)

*bump*


----------



## brogdale (Dec 24, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> Can u pls stop bumping thread as it always disappoints when I click into it
> 
> Tks



 not-bono-ever


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 24, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> Can u pls stop bumping thread as it always disappoints when I click into it
> 
> Tks


We can safely assume that when Liz checks out, you won't learn from Urban it will be one of those "We interrupt our programming to bring you this important announcement" things, An alien invasion won't get as much press.


----------



## SpackleFrog (Dec 24, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> We can safely assume that when Liz checks out, you won't learn from Urban it will be one of those "We interrupt our programming to bring you this important announcement" things, An alien invasion won't get as much press.



That sounds like a challenge.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 28, 2018)

There's some top-notch twitter trolling going on saying that the Queen's speech gold piano was 'rescued' from Saddam Hussein's palace.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Dec 28, 2018)

brogdale said:


> There's some top-notch twitter trolling going on saying that the Queen's speech gold piano was 'rescued' from Saddam Hussein's palace.




Yeah.. no...
I looked up about the piano (I'm a piano player and it interested me...briefly)

"The piano was made by Erard – the French firm whose instruments were famously used by Chopin, Liszt, Mendelssohn and Wagner. And it was made in 1856, during the reign of Queen Victoria and given to the queen on 30 April 1856."
From.. 
Who made the Queen’s gold grand piano? And how much is it worth? - Classic FM


----------



## moochedit (Dec 28, 2018)

brogdale said:


> There's some top-notch twitter trolling going on saying that the Queen's speech gold piano was 'rescued' from Saddam Hussein's palace.



Sounds a bit donald trump (the gold that is not the piano)


----------



## brogdale (Dec 28, 2018)

Lupa said:


> Yeah.. no...
> I looked up about the piano (I'm a piano player and it interested me...briefly)
> 
> "The piano was made by Erard – the French firm whose instruments were famously used by Chopin, Liszt, Mendelssohn and Wagner. And it was made in 1856, during the reign of Queen Victoria and given to the queen on 30 April 1856."
> ...



Yeah, I know...but not nearly as funny.


----------



## LDC (Dec 28, 2018)

brogdale said:


> not-bono-ever
> 
> View attachment 156636



You seem to have got your pictures of Nora Batty on the way to Skegness for a night out and the Queen mixed up.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 28, 2018)

Victor Lewis-Smith's (late) entry was jolly in a retro manner!


----------



## BoxRoom (Dec 28, 2018)

Ha! I tweeted that before him! And I think I stole it from U75 too


----------



## lizzieloo (Dec 28, 2018)

Next time you want to post about her maj, can you just start a new thread instead of bumping this one.

Only bump this one when she has died as it's a thread about her dying 

Just stoppit


----------



## moochedit (Dec 28, 2018)

lizzieloo said:


> Next time you want to post about her maj, can you just start a new thread instead of bumping this one.
> 
> Only bump this one when she has died as it's a thread about her dying
> 
> Just stoppit



Bump


----------



## lizzieloo (Dec 28, 2018)

It's just too much like good news, I hate disappointment


----------



## brogdale (Dec 28, 2018)

lizzieloo said:


> Next time you want to post about her maj, can you just start a new thread instead of bumping this one.
> 
> Only bump this one when she has died as it's a thread about her dying
> 
> Just stoppit


Just read the thread title!


----------



## brogdale (Dec 28, 2018)

BoxRoom said:


> Ha! I tweeted that before him! And I think I stole it from U75 too


Was it posted on U75 before yesterday?


----------



## BoxRoom (Dec 28, 2018)

brogdale said:


> Was it posted on U75 before yesterday?


I really can't remember when, sorry.


----------



## Argonia (Dec 28, 2018)

Are all the banknotes going to have to be reprinted with Charles when the Queen dies?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 28, 2018)

lizzieloo said:


> Only bump this one when she has died as it's a thread about her dying





brogdale said:


> Just read the thread title!



^
This

When the thread below gets bumped then you know she has actually died.

The Queen is Dead!


----------



## lizzieloo (Dec 28, 2018)

Do any of you think the queen has died recently then?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 28, 2018)

lizzieloo said:


> Do any of you think the queen has died recently then?



We don't know that's why we are asking!


----------



## lizzieloo (Dec 28, 2018)

*ignores thread*


----------



## Poi E (Dec 28, 2018)

Argonia said:


> Are all the banknotes going to have to be reprinted with Charles when the Queen dies?



Yup, and they'll add a few zeros for good measure.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 28, 2018)

Great now we can talk about lizzieloo behind her back.


----------



## lizzieloo (Dec 28, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Great now we can talk about lizzieloo behind her back.


----------



## A380 (Dec 29, 2018)

Argonia said:


> Are all the banknotes going to have to be reprinted with Charles when the Queen dies?


No, it’s obvious she’s hanging on till Charlie shuffles off to the great green house in the sky as she knows he’ll be the final nail in the monarchy. It’ll be William on the money.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 29, 2018)

Has she taken the long walk into the cursed earth yet ?


----------



## stavros (Dec 29, 2018)

Argonia said:


> Are all the banknotes going to have to be reprinted with Charles when the Queen dies?



Not just reprinted, but reshaped:


----------



## Poi E (Dec 29, 2018)

Tobyjug!


----------



## stavros (May 6, 2019)

Sorry to get anyone overly excited on a bank holiday by reviving this thread. I read about the Japanese emperor stepping down the other day, and saw that Japan is having a ten day of holiday to mark this. As we try to reach out to potential new trading partners in the post-Brexit world, should we copy them when Brenda snuffs it?


----------



## Teaboy (May 6, 2019)

stavros said:


> Sorry to get anyone overly excited on a bank holiday by reviving this thread. I read about the Japanese emperor stepping down the other day, and saw that Japan is having a ten day of holiday to mark this. As we try to reach out to potential new trading partners in the post-Brexit world, should we copy them when Brenda snuffs it?



There will be at least one bank holiday maybe more.  Its a win win really.


----------



## 8ball (May 6, 2019)

stavros said:


> Sorry to get anyone overly excited on a bank holiday by reviving this thread. I read about the Japanese emperor stepping down the other day, and saw that Japan is having a ten day of holiday to mark this. As we try to reach out to potential new trading partners in the post-Brexit world, should we copy them when Brenda snuffs it?



Let's make it a round fortnight.


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 6, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> There will be at least one bank holiday maybe more.  Its a win win really.



They won't give us a fucking thing.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 6, 2019)

Artaxerxes said:


> They won't give us a fucking thing.


Au contraire

They will give us another fucking royal parasite


----------



## billy_bob (May 6, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Au contraire
> 
> They will give us another fucking royal parasite



And what a disappointment that today, all of the papers have once again missed an opportunity to use your last four words as a headline.


----------



## William of Walworth (May 6, 2019)

Unless there's an *absolute* and *bare* minimum of *five* extra Bank Holidays a year, *every* year, and by priority!! immediately after Her Maj's much-awaited death, , there *will* be consequences!!!!!! 

This new rule absolutely *HAS* to include (when *I'm* King   ) either the last Monday in June or, in strangely dated years, the first Monday in July  ,

If not, there *will* be a UK-equivalent of Ekaterinberg  , actual locations to be discussed .... 

Pickman's model ????


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (May 7, 2019)

As a care worker since the innocent age of 21, I only became aware of the proliferation of bank holidays when my son started school and I’m always surprised by their Monday’s off. We don’t even get paid extra  for them, I reckon shift workers will start rioting in spite long before anything useful happens on the working class front.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 1, 2019)

Anyone seen her recently?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 1, 2019)

stavros said:


> Not just reprinted, but reshaped:


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Oct 1, 2019)

Bollox, I got excited then.


----------



## elbows (Oct 1, 2019)

And as you quaff it, bless that same grand planner
Who will spoil this tacky sentiment with a giant death spanner


----------



## brogdale (Oct 1, 2019)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Bollox, I got excited then.



Just keeping you on yer toes, like.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 1, 2019)

Although it would add to the 'end of times' atmosphere if she did conveniently pop off in the next few weeks!


----------



## Steel Icarus (Oct 1, 2019)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 185604
> 
> Anyone seen her recently?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 1, 2019)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 185604
> 
> Anyone seen her recently?


no one's seen her recently


----------



## brogdale (Oct 1, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> no one's seen her recently
> 
> View attachment 185609


----------



## Fez909 (Oct 1, 2019)

Queen in PAIN: The real reason 'incredibly brave' Queen is refusing essential operation

"Refusing operation" = given up. The end is nigh.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 1, 2019)

Isn't she just on holiday doing what she does best - laying low until the latest shit storm passes?

These are interesting times for the monarchy what with its being dragged into Johnson's circus and one seemingly popular monarch shortly to be replaced by a pretty unpopular one.


----------



## chilango (Oct 1, 2019)

Could Johnson have lied to a corpse?


----------



## Fez909 (Oct 1, 2019)

chilango said:


> Could Johnson have lied to a corpse?


Another skeleton for his closet.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 1, 2019)

Apparently one of the 1st things the government would have to do is recall Parliament Operation London Bridge - Wikipedia

Would have saved a lot of bother and unpleasantness had she just carked it the moment Johnson prorogued it.  I thought she had declared to serve her country?  Not dying was a bit selfish, no?

Can't wait to see Corbyn have to do a cringing arselickken speech in Parliament when she does go.


----------



## Combustible (Oct 1, 2019)

chilango said:


> Could Johnson have lied to a corpse?


I'm sure he would lie with one given half a chance


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 1, 2019)

chilango said:


> Could Johnson have lied to a corpse?


yes


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 1, 2019)

I reckon the government would quite like a major royal incident round about now.  The queen shuffling her mortal coil would deflect nicely away from the ongoing Brexit mess and would be an opportunity to rally the UK together.  It would be perfect for them so I doubt they would delay its announcement.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 1, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I reckon the government would quite like a major royal incident round about now.  The queen shuffling her mortal coil would deflect nicely away from the ongoing Brexit mess and would be an opportunity to rally the UK together.  It would be perfect for them so I doubt they would delay its announcement.


johnson might have his own candidate for the throne, someone he feels might be more pliable - perhaps danny dyer, who can trace his ancestry back to edward iii


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Oct 1, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> johnson might have his own candidate for the throne, someone he feels might be more pliable - perhaps danny dyer, who can trace his ancestry back to edward iii



But not to Edward ii?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 1, 2019)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> But not to Edward ii?


i don't think they went further back on 'who do you think you are' but obvs once you hop on that royal bus you're tracing your ancestry all the way back to cerdic, first king of wessex, and ultimately back to odin


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 1, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> Isn't she just on holiday doing what she does best - laying low until the latest shit storm passes?
> 
> These are interesting times for the monarchy what with its being dragged into Johnson's circus and one seemingly popular monarch shortly to be replaced by a pretty unpopular one.


Brenda has been Queen for so long now that she and the job have become synonymous with each other. When she carks it, I expect there will be a resurgence of republicanism in places like NZ, Australia and Canada. The UK is going to be the last nation to abolish the monarchy but I think there is a good chance that Chucky and his eldest are going to be the last 2 kings.
The monarchy will outlive me but I'm pretty certain my grandson who isn't quite 3 will easily outlive it


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 1, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> Brenda has been Queen for so long now that she and the job have become synonymous with each other. When she carks it, I expect there will be a resurgence of republicanism in places like NZ, Australia and Canada. The UK is going to be the last nation to abolish the monarchy but I think there is a good chance that Chucky and his eldest are going to be the last 2 kings.
> The monarchy will outlive me but I'm pretty certain my grandson who isn't quite 3 will easily outlive it


you're more hopeful than me, unless something really good happens i think the swedes, the dutch and indeed the thais will have royalty for a long time to come


----------



## Argonia (Oct 1, 2019)

I've got the lizard in my celebrity death pool this year and we're running out of time!


----------



## SpackleFrog (Oct 1, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> johnson might have his own candidate for the throne, someone he feels might be more pliable - perhaps danny dyer, who can trace his ancestry back to edward iii



I'd feel happier generally about the monarchy if Danny Dyer was King to be fair.


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Oct 1, 2019)

I reckon there's still time for her to go off at the most constitutionally awkward moment possible.


----------



## Cid (Oct 1, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> i don't think they went further back on 'who do you think you are' but obvs once you hop on that royal bus you're tracing your ancestry all the way back to cerdic, first king of wessex, and ultimately back to odin



To be fair if you have any European ancestry, it's basically certain you can trace your lineage to Charlemagne. And if you're English, you're very likely to be descended from Edward III.


----------



## andysays (Oct 1, 2019)

Cid said:


> To be fair if you have any European ancestry, it's basically certain you can trace your lineage to Charlemagne. And if you're English, you're very likely to be descended from Edward III.


I definitely *can't *trace my lineage back to Charlemagne (and I very much doubt I'm descended from him or Edward III anyway)


----------



## Cid (Oct 1, 2019)

andysays said:


> I definitely *can't *trace my lineage back to Charlemagne (and I very much doubt I'm descended from him or Edward III anyway)



Ok, I mean you can’t literally trace your lineage. But, if you’re European (ethnicity) you are definitely descended from Charlmagne and, if English 99% descended from Edward iii, though I think I’ve seen other stats on that.


----------



## Argonia (Oct 1, 2019)

I thought everyone was descended from Genghis Khan or something


----------



## andysays (Oct 1, 2019)

Cid said:


> Ok, I mean you can’t literally trace your lineage. But, if you’re European (ethnicity) you are definitely descended from Charlmagne and, if English 99% descended from Edward iii, though I think I’ve seen other stats on that.


I'm more Scottish than English, but I dispute the reasoning behind the idea that *all* Europeans are descended from Charlemagne or any other one individual from his era


----------



## Sprocket. (Oct 1, 2019)

Argonia said:


> I thought everyone was descended from Genghis Khan or something


A pudding was trying to tell me last week, we are all descended from some dude called Adam!


----------



## Argonia (Oct 1, 2019)

We're all descended from LUCA (last universal common ancestor)


----------



## Idris2002 (Oct 1, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> Brenda has been Queen for so long now that she and the job have become synonymous with each other. When she carks it, I expect there will be a resurgence of republicanism in places like NZ, Australia and Canada. The UK is going to be the last nation to abolish the monarchy but I think there is a good chance that Chucky and his eldest are going to be the last 2 kings.
> The monarchy will outlive me but I'm pretty certain my grandson who isn't quite 3 will easily outlive it


I'm willing to bet that Charles will get passed over for the hot seat, when the time comes.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 1, 2019)

Argonia said:


> We're all descended from LUCA (last universal common ancestor)


----------



## elbows (Oct 1, 2019)

Idris2002 said:


> I'm willing to bet that Charles will get passed over for the hot seat, when the time comes.



I've long considered that to be plausible.

Alternatively, Charles will get to be king, but most of the media & PR will continue to focus on the next generation.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Oct 1, 2019)

Argonia said:


> I thought everyone was descended from Genghis Khan or something


Charlemagne.


----------



## Sprocket. (Oct 1, 2019)

Kid Charlemange is more plausible in my case.


----------



## likesfish (Oct 1, 2019)

SpackleFrog said:


> I'd feel happier generally about the monarchy if Danny Dyer was King to be fair.



watching king Dyer headbutt johnson "take that you slaggg" would make even the harshest critic of the monarchy reconsider


----------



## Cid (Oct 1, 2019)

andysays said:


> I'm more Scottish than English, but I dispute the reasoning behind the idea that *all* Europeans are descended from Charlemagne or any other one individual from his era



I think it's pretty solid these days... the original statistical argument had (acknowledged) flaws, but since then models taking into account isolated communities have been proposed... And probably most importantly genetic evidence (the original model is from 1999) has since backed up the idea.


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 1, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> you're more hopeful than me, unless something really good happens i think the swedes, the dutch and indeed the thais will have royalty for a long time to come


I don't think there will be many if any monarchies left come the 22nd century, The european ones I think will go peacefully being abolished whenever the regnant monarch dies or steps down whereas I suspect the Middle Eastern ones will end in violence and a lot of it.
I can't see Chucky being passed over for the throne unless he either carks first or develops dementia, but I still reckon there is an above even chance that King Billy the Bald will be the last British Monarch, without being arsed to google it, I believe he's in his late thirties so his sprog won't get to the throne till the other side of 2050. When you consider the attitude of people towards the monarchy now compared to when Brenda came to the throne, I think there will be a good chance people won't want to continue with it, especially if the other main Commonwealth countries of Canada, NZ and Australia are republics by then.
I'll be in my 90's (or dead) come the 2050's so I won't see it I'm afraid.


----------



## Wilf (Oct 1, 2019)

Combustible said:


> I'm sure he would lie with one given half a chance


- Did you fuck a corpse Prime Minister, perhaps at the same time one of your predecessors was fucking a dead pig's head?
'Look, I'm not getting into that, what the people of this country want to know is whether we are going to follow through on the 2016 vote?
- That reminds prime minister, there's an awful smell in here, have you followed through?
'Oh, err gosh, well actually, fiddlesticks... yes'.


----------



## pogofish (Oct 1, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I reckon the government would quite like a major royal incident round about now.  .



Was that not supposed to be the princess engagement last week?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 1, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> I don't think there will be many if any monarchies left come the 22nd century, The european ones I think will go peacefully being abolished whenever the regnant monarch dies or steps down whereas I suspect the Middle Eastern ones will end in violence and a lot of it.
> I can't see Chucky being passed over for the throne unless he either carks first or develops dementia, but I still reckon there is an above even chance that King Billy the Bald will be the last British Monarch, without being arsed to google it, I believe he's in his late thirties so his sprog won't get to the throne till the other side of 2050. When you consider the attitude of people towards the monarchy now compared to when Brenda came to the throne, I think there will be a good chance people won't want to continue with it, especially if the other main Commonwealth countries of Canada, NZ and Australia are republics by then.
> I'll be in my 90's (or dead) come the 2050's so I won't see it I'm afraid.


And Japan, Thailand?


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 1, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> And Japan, Thailand?


the first peacefully like ours, the second one I reckon is a toss up either way, not soon of course but sometimes between now and the end of the century.
Who knows what form those countries will take in a few decades, pretty much all political changes out there are going to be driven by how other countries 
react to China.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 1, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> There will be at least one bank holiday maybe more.  Its a win win really.





Artaxerxes said:


> They won't give us a fucking thing.



Having now researched this further it seems almost certain that we will get 2 extra bank holidays.  One for the funeral and one for the coronation of the next lizard.  Given the dearth of bank holidays between now and Christmas Day I would suggest now is as good as time as any, if you're reading Liz?

I also found a couple of mentions to people being sent home from work on the day her death is announced though that sounds unlikely to me.


----------



## Raheem (Oct 1, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I also found a couple of mentions to people being sent home from work on the day her death is announced though that sounds unlikely to me.


That's probably what will happen to her chambermaids and so on. Hope they get enough time to empty their lockers.


----------



## Wilf (Oct 1, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I also found a couple of mentions to people being sent home from work on the day her death is announced though that sounds unlikely to me.


Have a feeling I may become too distressed to work. Well, there'll be tears in my eyes...


----------



## maomao (Oct 1, 2019)

andysays said:


> I'm more Scottish than English, but I dispute the reasoning behind the idea that *all* Europeans are descended from Charlemagne or any other one individual from his era


Back of an envelope calculation suggests that at the time of Charlemagne you had more than 64 million ancestors. Of course a lot of these were probably the same people  but it is almost certain that one (or more) of them was old Charlie himself cause he fathered a lot of kids.


----------



## belboid (Oct 1, 2019)

Cid said:


> I think it's pretty solid these days... the original statistical argument had (acknowledged) flaws, but since then models taking into account isolated communities have been proposed... And probably most importantly genetic evidence (the original model is from 1999) has since backed up the idea.


European genealogy FAQ is probably what you are thinking of, and you are quite right it says we are all descended from Charlemagne, and that all individuals who have _any_ descendants among the present-day individuals are actually ancestors of _all_ present-day individuals.

It does depend a bit on how you define 'European' though, that research only looked at people who had all four grandparents born in the same country.


----------



## belboid (Oct 1, 2019)

maomao said:


> Back of an envelope calculation suggests that at the time of Charlemagne you had more than 64 million ancestors.


A _trillion _apparently.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 2, 2019)

What is "Charlemagne"?


----------



## fishfinger (Oct 2, 2019)

moochedit said:


> What is "Charlemagne"?


Who. Emperor Charlemagne


----------



## Raheem (Oct 2, 2019)

moochedit said:


> What is "Charlemagne"?


It's the Duchy Originals answer to champagne.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 2, 2019)

Any update?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 2, 2019)

moochedit said:


> What is "Charlemagne"?


dead


----------



## belboid (Oct 2, 2019)

moochedit said:


> What is "Charlemagne"?


your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great granduncle, thrice removed


----------



## Argonia (Oct 2, 2019)

Fucking hell so Charlemagne had eighteen kids, randier than Prince Andrew


----------



## SpackleFrog (Oct 2, 2019)

Argonia said:


> Fucking hell so Charlemagne had eighteen kids, randier than Prince Andrew



Prince Andrew has had more than 18 kids.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 2, 2019)

SpackleFrog said:


> Prince Andrew has had more than 18 kids.


Ooofft


----------



## killer b (Oct 2, 2019)

Raheem said:


> It's the Duchy Originals answer to champagne.


The other direction I'm afraid - it's a bargain off-license version of Lambrini


----------



## stavros (Oct 4, 2019)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 185604
> 
> Anyone seen her recently?



There's a case that she should be considering her position. For someone who's acclaimed as worldly wise by by all and sundry, she trusted the word of a serial liar. If, as has been suggested, she _has_ to follow her PM's advice, then what's the point of her position?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Oct 4, 2019)

Stop bumping this you bastards 

Should be locked until it's actually time.


----------



## elbows (Oct 4, 2019)

You can't prorogue this thread!


----------



## elbows (Oct 4, 2019)

Besides, she might be planning to die right in the middle of her speech announcing the Johnson governments agenda. It could be an elaborate death sequence worthy of the early days of cinema. Perhaps she will start by lurching around, and people will mistake her behaviour for an impression of Theresa May dancing. Then she might slump, and people will wonder if she is doing an impression of Rees-Mogg. Then Johnson will get all flustered and shout 'get up you big girls blouse', breaking protocol in such a manner that leaves other servants of her royal deadness no choice but to impale him with the ceremonial mace.


----------



## Proper Tidy (Oct 4, 2019)

The queen dying right in the middle of all this proroguing and brexit stuff would be great wouldn't it, be perfect, proper fuck things up even more


----------



## elbows (Oct 4, 2019)

Dunno about that, some will probably see it as a propaganda opportunity that they may be well placed to exploit in ways that will, at the very least, make us groan and worry.


----------



## Proper Tidy (Oct 4, 2019)

elbows said:


> Dunno about that, some will probably see it as a propaganda opportunity that they may be well placed to exploit in ways that will, at the very least, make us groan and worry.


True. I was thinking more in the immediate bollocks it would make of royal assent and all that nonsense


----------



## Proper Tidy (Oct 4, 2019)

Also we'd get the joy of the freaks of both sides claiming the dead queen would have supported this/wouldn't have supported this. Like they do with churchill.


----------



## stavros (Oct 4, 2019)

elbows said:


> Dunno about that, some will probably see it as a propaganda opportunity that they may be well placed to exploit in ways that will, at the very least, make us groan and worry.



"It's what she would've wanted."

There's a naming theme running through UK politics of the last three years: Brenda from Bristol; Brenda from Windsor; and Brenda from the Supreme Court. Are they somehow related?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 4, 2019)

*texts HRH*

U OK hun ?


----------



## elbows (Oct 4, 2019)

stavros said:


> "It's what she would've wanted."
> 
> There's a naming theme running through UK politics of the last three years: Brenda from Bristol; Brenda from Windsor; and Brenda from the Supreme Court. Are they somehow related?



I dunno but some stain could probably fill Wembley with a talk about 'The B3 conspiracy'.

Featuring a portmanteau of a portmanteau. The end of Brexit = brend. Bring your a game to brend and you get brenda. Whats my agenda, Brenda?

Alternatively, there was a bit of a mix up when Hunter S Thompson died, and he accidentally became God from that point onwards. The holy gonzo moves in mysterious ways.


----------



## scifisam (Oct 5, 2019)

SpackleFrog said:


> Prince Andrew has had more than 18 kids.



Ouch 

Charlie won't be passed over. It'd be difficult constitutionally and he seems close to his son, who wouldn't exactly be up for stealing his Dad's job. It's not like they actually matter, anyway, so there wouldn't be a lot of point trying to force it on them.


----------



## Combustible (Oct 5, 2019)

stavros said:


> There's a case that she should be considering her position. For someone who's acclaimed as worldly wise by by all and sundry, she trusted the word of a serial liar. If, as has been suggested, she _has_ to follow her PM's advice, then what's the point of her position?


 
I think if she were to consider her position it would quickly dawn on her that she is a hereditary monarch who can, and by convention typically does, rule for life, and so would carry on as before.


----------



## stavros (Oct 5, 2019)

Combustible said:


> I think if she were to consider her position it would quickly dawn on her that she is a hereditary monarch who can, and by convention typically does, rule for life, and so would carry on as before.



She has been described as "progressive"* by some, so you never know.

*So has Mohammad bin Salman, to be fair.


----------



## tim (Oct 5, 2019)

moochedit said:


> What is "Charlemagne"?




Big Charlie


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 10, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> I don't think there will be many if any monarchies left come the 22nd century, The european ones I think will go peacefully being abolished whenever the regnant monarch dies or steps down whereas I suspect the Middle Eastern ones will end in violence and a lot of it.
> I can't see Chucky being passed over for the throne unless he either carks first or develops dementia, but I still reckon there is an above even chance that King Billy the Bald will be the last British Monarch, without being arsed to google it, I believe he's in his late thirties so his sprog won't get to the throne till the other side of 2050. When you consider the attitude of people towards the monarchy now compared to when Brenda came to the throne, I think there will be a good chance people won't want to continue with it, especially if the other main Commonwealth countries of Canada, NZ and Australia are republics by then.
> I'll be in my 90's (or dead) come the 2050's so I won't see it I'm afraid.


from 'the irishman', 29 april 1871:

no great change, then, in 140 years, still hoping that the passing of the current monarch will reveal a time ripe for republicanism. perhaps it's time a more active campaign was undertaken, to ensure there will never be an elizabeth iii.


----------



## Poi E (Oct 10, 2019)

HRH looks to be near her correct age on the NZ $20. Not so much on the brand new UK £20. I'm sure crazy dictators used to insist on such age defying nonsense.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 10, 2019)

I really think they should hang off printing these for a few months.  Then again that might just be wishful thinking on my part.

Hang about what's that weird gold tower?  That's going to get the cranks going.


----------



## Poi E (Oct 10, 2019)

It really is quite loopy. A denial of reality; that the show only has so long to go.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 10, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I really think they should hang off printing these for a few months.  Then again that might just be wishful thinking on my part.
> 
> Hang about what's that weird gold tower?  That's going to get the cranks going.


SpineyNorman got his hands on the blueprints for a few minutes but wasn't able to do the spunking bit before someone else came into the room


----------



## Proper Tidy (Oct 10, 2019)

Did not know the queen was on NZ money. Is it the same in Canada and Australia?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 10, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Did not know the queen was on NZ money. Is it the same in Canada and Australia?


yes


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 10, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Did not know the queen was on NZ money. Is it the same in Canada and Australia?


----------



## Poi E (Oct 10, 2019)

Charles there for the lolz.

Looking haunted on the Aussie five dollar. Yeah, 1975 you old cow.


----------



## bluescreen (Oct 10, 2019)

The queen is on the money.


----------



## Cid (Oct 10, 2019)

Apparently (Guinness world records), the following entities have issued coinage with her: Canada, Bahamas, Belize, Bermuda, British Virgin Islands, Cayman Islands, Dominica, East Caribbean States, Jamaica, Turks Caicos, Falkland Islands, St. Helena, Tristan da Cunha, South Africa, Rhodesia, East Africa, Nigeria, Mauritius, Seychelles, Hong Kong, Malaya British Borneo, Australia, New Zealand, Tokelau, Fiji, Kiribati, Papua New Guinea, Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, Cyprus, Gibraltar, Guernsey, Jersey, Isle of Man, and the UK.

Clearly those are not all current though. Do all commonwealth nations have them? Do I actually give a shit? Maybe I should find something better to do.

No, here she is ageing in banknotes (turn noise down):


----------



## Gerry1time (Oct 10, 2019)

Poi E said:


> HRH looks to be near her correct age on the NZ $20. Not so much on the brand new UK £20. I'm sure crazy dictators used to insist on such age defying nonsense.



Interestingly, the more recent time we did have a certifiably crazy monarch, he seemingly had no issue being represented as unwell on the coins of the realm. The common name for these coins is the 'bullhead issue'.


----------



## Argonia (Oct 10, 2019)

Every time this thread comes to the top of the thread list my heart skips a beat and I start palpitating with excitement.


----------



## tim (Oct 10, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Did not know the queen was on NZ money. Is it the same in Canada and Australia?




Yes, and in





but
 not in Scotland

Watch her age here


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 10, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> Hang about what's that weird gold tower? That's going to get the cranks going.


It is the lighthouse at Margate apparently.  It looks shit in real life:


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 10, 2019)

What an odd choice.


----------



## fishfinger (Oct 10, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> What an odd choice.


Turner was a fan of Margate.


----------



## tim (Oct 10, 2019)

fishfinger said:


> Turner was a fan of Margate.


Constable was a fan of proper butter


----------



## Proper Tidy (Oct 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 186543


Christ


----------



## tim (Oct 10, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Christ


Is that the image of Our Lord miraculously imprinted upon the Holy Shroud of Toowoomba


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> from 'the irishman', 29 april 1871:
> View attachment 186514
> no great change, then, in 140 years, still hoping that the passing of the current monarch will reveal a time ripe for republicanism. perhaps it's time a more active campaign was undertaken, to ensure there will never be an elizabeth iii.


Republicanism is a complete no-hoper in this country and no monarch is going to be shifted by means of a revolution ever. The only times it can happen is at the end of one monarchs reign either by death or them stepping down. So not soon since Brenda isn't going to last all that much longer (unless she really is an alien shapeshifting lizard)  and at the moment there is still more support for the monarchy than opposition, though I think the majority opinion tends towards ever increasing indifference more than anything else. There isn't the deference there was, when my mum was a teenager, Brenda and her new husband came to Salford and my Nan dragged my mum and my auntie  to watch them go past and wave flags. It was a big thing then but isn't now. Certainly my mum never took my sisters to watch the Queen and sure as hell Mrs Q would laugh her head off if someone suggested she take our daughters to wave flags at some old dear going by in a car. 
So we get Charles III but Chucky just doesn't inspire what monarchism is left the way his Ma does, William V we will probably get since Billy the Bald is more popular than his Dad, has a pretty wife and some cute kids (not to mention a great PR team) but he is going to be a lot older and his kids will probably be making arses of themselves being chucked out of nightclubs by the time he has been on the throne for a few years. 
I expect the Royal Family to just fade away via public disinterest more than anything else, When my Nan died, my brother and I found loads of royal souvenir tat in her house. I would have skipped it but the house clearance guy reckoned he could sell it especially to foreign tourists. 
There is no such tat in my Mum's house never mind mine, the only person in the Q family who pays much attention to news about the Premier Division Royals of Chucky and his lads is my Mother-in-Law (who in her defence is not UK born) and even she ain't bothered about the next Royal Wedding.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 10, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> Republicanism is a complete no-hoper in this country and no monarch is going to be shifted by means of a revolution ever. The only times it can happen is at the end of one monarchs reign either by death or them stepping down. So not soon since Brenda isn't going to last all that much longer (unless she really is an alien shapeshifting lizard)  and at the moment there is still more support for the monarchy than opposition, though I think the majority opinion tends towards ever increasing indifference more than anything else. There isn't the deference there was, when my mum was a teenager, Brenda and her new husband came to Salford and my Nan dragged my mum and my auntie  to watch them go past and wave flags. It was a big thing then but isn't now. Certainly my mum never took my sisters to watch the Queen and sure as hell Mrs Q would laugh her head off if someone suggested she take our daughters to wave flags at some old dear going by in a car.
> So we get Charles III but Chucky just doesn't inspire what monarchism is left the way his Ma does, William V we will probably get since Billy the Bald is more popular than his Dad, has a pretty wife and some cute kids (not to mention a great PR team) but he is going to be a lot older and his kids will probably be making arses of themselves being chucked out of nightclubs by the time he has been on the throne for a few years.
> I expect the Royal Family to just fade away via public disinterest more than anything else, When my Nan died, my brother and I found loads of royal souvenir tat in her house. I would have skipped it but the house clearance guy reckoned he could sell it especially to foreign tourists.
> There is no such tat in my Mum's house never mind mine, the only person in the Q family who pays much attention to news about the Premier Division Royals of Chucky and his lads is my Mother-in-Law (who in her defence is not UK born) and even she ain't bothered about the next Royal Wedding.


No monarch is ever going to be shifted by a revolution, words I am sure Charles I, Louis XVI and Nicholas II would have heard. Before they were shifted by revolutions.


----------



## stavros (Oct 11, 2019)

Someone told me the other day that they're not going to both changing the coins when she snuffs it, and they'll keep her on it, even for new pressings.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Oct 11, 2019)

Likely to be George VII, isn't Charlie? Rather than Charles III?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 11, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Likely to be George VII, isn't Charlie? Rather than Charles III?


Yeh, George VII


----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Oct 11, 2019)

Can't be arsed to google it, someone enlighten me.  Why do these cunts change their name when they become king/queen?  Just use your fucking name.  Charles the however many.  William the 87th.  Whichever horrific offspring comes next the nth.


----------



## fishfinger (Oct 11, 2019)

It's a regnal name.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Oct 11, 2019)

The sheer stupidity of the concept of royalty though. How ridiculous it is.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Oct 11, 2019)

Do try to get into the spirit of things.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Oct 11, 2019)

You can do one, you bellend.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 11, 2019)

Zapp Brannigan said:


> Can't be arsed to google it, someone enlighten me.  Why do these cunts change their name when they become king/queen?  Just use your fucking name.  Charles the however many.  William the 87th.  Whichever horrific offspring comes next the nth.


In a futile attempt to evade their debts


----------



## Buckaroo (Oct 11, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> In a futile attempt to evade their debts


Honi soit qui mal y pense


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 11, 2019)

has anyone spoken to her recently ?


----------



## bluescreen (Oct 11, 2019)

Buckaroo said:


> Honi soit qui mal y pense


Or as the late Kenneth Williams once said: 
Honest sweat killed many a ponce.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 11, 2019)

Buckaroo said:


> Honi soit qui mal y pense


Grand to see you back


----------



## Buckaroo (Oct 11, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Grand to see you back


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Oct 12, 2019)

S☼I said:


> Likely to be George VII, isn't Charlie? Rather than Charles III?



Nah, that's something that seems to track back to an old article in the Daily Mail. Why wouldn't he use the name he's been using all his life?


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 12, 2019)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> Nah, that's something that seems to track back to an old article in the Daily Mail. Why wouldn't he use the name he's been using all his life?



Because of history and stuff.  It hasn't always been a huge success for kings named Charles.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Oct 12, 2019)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> Nah, that's something that seems to track back to an old article in the Daily Mail. Why wouldn't he use the name he's been using all his life?


Big Eared Hippy Twat?


----------



## andysays (Oct 12, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> Because of history and stuff.  It hasn't always been a huge success for kings named Charles.



Third time lucky?


----------



## Proper Tidy (Oct 12, 2019)

Do they have to choose a name that's been used before? I'd go king solomon or something imposing and old testemanty


----------



## agricola (Oct 12, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> Because of history and stuff.  It hasn't always been a huge success for kings named Charles.



That is only 50/50; if his name was Richard then he would absolutely be changing it.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 12, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Do they have to choose a name that's been used before? I'd go king solomon or something imposing and old testemanty




if we can take from the auld testament i'd go king dagon


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 12, 2019)




----------



## Argonia (Oct 12, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Do they have to choose a name that's been used before? I'd go king solomon or something imposing and old testemanty



King Methuselah


----------



## oryx (Oct 12, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Do they have to choose a name that's been used before? I'd go king solomon or something imposing and old testemanty



Herod.


----------



## kebabking (Oct 12, 2019)

Oswiu.

Much more interesting than a mere _George..._


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 12, 2019)

kebabking said:


> Oswiu.
> 
> Much more interesting than a mere _George..._


George the First was always reckoned
Vile, but viler George the Second;
And what mortal ever heard
Any good of George the Third?
When from earth the Fourth descended
(God be praised!) the Georges ended. 

Walter Savage Landor


----------



## kebabking (Oct 12, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> George the First was always reckoned
> Vile, but viler George the Second;
> And what mortal ever heard
> Any good of George the Third?
> ...



Oswiu was more interesting that just _that..._


----------



## Idris2002 (Dec 1, 2019)

Just seen on twitter that she has joined the choir invisible, and that her death will be announced tomorrow morning.

E2a:

Ah well.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 1, 2019)

Idris2002 said:


> Just seen on twitter that she has joined the choir invisible, and that her death will be announced tomorrow morning.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 1, 2019)

its the hope that kills you


----------



## mx wcfc (Dec 1, 2019)

It's not beyond the tories to orchestrate this for a big outpouring of grief and patriotic fervour => tory landslide.

(but bollocks, obvioulsy)


----------



## mx wcfc (Dec 1, 2019)

(if the entirety of twitter were discussing it, why did he need to tweet it?)


----------



## Proper Tidy (Dec 1, 2019)

Been sat here trying to figure out whether the almost certainly fictitious death of the monarch would be really fucking bad (obvious answer) or really fucking good (leftfield but maybe people will just go fuck it out with the old) in terms of general election then realised I'm down the fucking rabbit hole man, save me


----------



## brogdale (Dec 1, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Been sat here trying to figure out whether the almost certainly fictitious death of the monarch would be really fucking bad (obvious answer) or really fucking good (leftfield but maybe people will just go fuck it out with the old) in terms of general election then realised I'm down the fucking rabbit hole man, save me


----------



## Proper Tidy (Dec 1, 2019)

Mum: your uncle gary is dead
Me: was he a tory or nah


----------



## Fez909 (Dec 1, 2019)

Fuck, I almost believed it!!


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 1, 2019)

hmmmm

second hit from that search was posted 3 days ago

What Happens When Queen Elizabeth II Dies? Everything We Know


----------



## brogdale (Dec 1, 2019)

Er...guys...just take a look at what's on the front page of the BBC News website...



Spoiler: Queen Dead


----------



## DexterTCN (Dec 1, 2019)

Fez909 said:


> Fuck, I almost believed it!!
> 
> View attachment 191612


So it must be true.


----------



## MrSki (Dec 1, 2019)




----------



## MrSki (Dec 1, 2019)




----------



## MrSki (Dec 1, 2019)




----------



## Proper Tidy (Dec 1, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Er...guys...just take a look at what's on the front page of the BBC News website...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Lord Camomile (Dec 1, 2019)

Bloody hell!


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 1, 2019)

I have 24 bottles of Kolsch sitting in the garden waiting to be broached- can someone give me the nod to get the party started? You can all come round to peckham to helpme get through them if its good news.


----------



## binka (Dec 1, 2019)

She's got at least another decade to go yet


----------



## brogdale (Dec 1, 2019)

“Sonic boom” over North London...bullshit.
Blates secret 21 gun salute rehearsal.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 1, 2019)

So do i have to go to work tommorow or not?


----------



## brogdale (Dec 1, 2019)

moochedit said:


> So do i have to go to work tommorow or not?


Deffo not


----------



## Proper Tidy (Dec 1, 2019)

moochedit said:


> So do i have to go to work tommorow or not?


No. All confirmed, don't bother phoning in or checking, just stay in bed.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 1, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> No. All confirmed, don't bother phoning in or checking, just stay in bed.


----------



## clicker (Dec 1, 2019)

She slipped on a pizza in Woking apparently.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Dec 1, 2019)




----------



## Puddy_Tat (Dec 1, 2019)

of course she could have faked her own death and gone in to hiding to avoid having to meet donald trump this week

anyone had an elderly couple move in nearby in the last couple of days?


----------



## AnnO'Neemus (Dec 2, 2019)

An ex-bf was in the army and so's my daughter and son-in-law, so I presume the reference to full number 1s is their number one dress uniform, which is ceremonial uniform for parades and suchlike.

I just looked up number 3 and 4 uniforms and they're for warm climates, which is weird, unless they're posted overseas, because London ain't warm this time of year.


----------



## elbows (Dec 2, 2019)




----------



## Steel Icarus (Dec 2, 2019)

What brilliant timing it would be if it happened now. Imagine the chaos


----------



## Dillinger4 (Dec 2, 2019)

gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo, gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo, gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo gibbo

And the lads

Of course, _you_ know what a cheeky Nando’s is. It’s when you’re hanging round the centre of town with the lads, just doing the usual, great bants all round, but you get proper peckish and you say ‘lads fancy a Macca’s’ but then your mate Cresty who’s a top notch lad and always on form with the suggestions goes ‘nah lads, I got it, let’s get a cheeky Nando’s’ because he’s a ledge and you go and Snapchat your meal and it’s well banging. Top.

Except sometimes you start to forget things. You know you’re in the centre of town, but how did you get there? _What_ town? You don’t remember waking up in the morning. Haven’t you always been here? It’s England; this could only be England. Soot-stained bricks chipped to bleeding red. Trees in wire mesh. Chewing-gum and plastic pigeonshit grit. Not a big town, nothing here is big enough to be in a big town. It isn’t anywhere. The roadsigns tell you nothing: this street is marked ‘This Street’, across the road ‘That Street’ plunges down to Costa Coffee and payday loan infinity. The centre of town might stretch out forever. You could pick a direction and start walking, up the road past the JD Sports, past the Co-op with its petrified pears gleaming against the window, past the multi-storey car park that bloats in the afternoon mist, keep walking for weeks and years without ever seeing green fields or even houses, until eventually you’d round the globe and arrive back here again, still on this damp Wednesday that never ends and never began. The sky is bright. You can’t find the sun.

Here, under the awning of a glassy shopping centre. The squad smoke cigarettes and talk and smooth back their hair. You know these people. These are your friends. Tim, who got a swastika tattooed on his earlobe because he’s a total ledge. Paste, who lost his leg to a shark attack because he’s a right geezer. Buzz, whose left eyeball dangles on its nerve from a festering socket. J.B., a flayed heap of rags and lacerations, tottering on legs stripped to bone, breathing in bubbly gulps, pig’s trotters stitched to his wrists, gold nails bristling from his frail, heaving, ragged carcass. ‘Oi oi,’ he says. ‘Bants o’clock.’ Finally Cresty, whole and immobile, staring at nothing in particular. Inside his chest the blackboard scrape of rusting machinery. Proper lad. You’re having fun.

But you’re so hungry. You know what to say, lads fancy a Macca’s, but the words won’t make their way past your lips. Just a gasping whine. ‘Please. I’m hungry. I’m so hungry.’ It’s not like any hunger you’ve ever known. Correction: it’s the _only_ hunger you’ve ever known. Visions swirl of you bursting into the battery farm, tearing chickens from their cages and ripping through their necks, burying your face in all that purple screeching _food_. You’d pull the creature apart from its cloaca. Feel the metal tang of blood smeared from ear to ear. The hunger’s not an absence, it’s something you need to expel, a tight shining dead ball of weight in the pit of your body, a cluster bomb. Everything is so heavy; your limbs tremble, you can hardly move. You want to tear yourself out of your own skin, just burst right out, gleaming and skeletal. You want to fuck the Earth bloody. You need to eat.

‘I’m hungry. I’m so hungry.’ There are other things you should have noticed. Like the women: shouldn’t there be women, somewhere? You have a vague sense that this is why you’re here, because there might be women. Shouldn’t there be _people_? You’re in the centre of town, but the streets are empty, and silence roars eternal fury in your ears. Shouldn’t there be cars? Somewhere, somehow, everything has gone terribly wrong. Your friends are talking, muffled honks drowned out by the void; you don’t understand them. All you can see is the flesh stretching and rippling around their mouths, the moist meaty flick of tongue, the haze of saliva that hangs motionless in the air after it’s sprayed from between two teeth. These faces, the ones you’ve known for as long as you can remember, the ones you’re poured all your secrets lies and braggadocio into, breaking out into a fit of incalculable otherness. What are these creatures? Who sent them? What do they want?

It all falls out at once, ladsfancyaMacca’s. Cresty’s head swivels towards you. He opens his mouth. You’re in front of Nando’s. You were there all along. There are things you can remember. Cheeky Nando’s. Extra-hot peri-peri chicken breast on pita with chips and a Coke Zero. Off the wall. Nutter. Your parents dead in bin-bags. Yeah love I’ve been to Nando’s before. Soldiers sweeping down your street helicopters plunging in flames. No shame in lemon and herb mate nah but shall we get a highchair for you while we’re at it. The laughter of women as you crouch naked penis shrivelling knees tucked to chest like the terrified child you’ve always been inside but thought you’d grown hide to conceal. Cheeky Nando’s with the lads. The sky a swollen bleeding pantophagous cunt. Bit expensive but it’s a good laugh. The radiation containment zone now covers the entire mainland United Kingdom north of Wakefield and south of Inverness. The state of emergency is a temporary measure. Fun is mandatory until the crisis passes. And flailing for something to be, desperate to rearrange the rubble, you chose to hang round the centre of town with the lads, to watch the stunned chickens on the conveyor belt twist heavy heads with round staring psychotic eyes and look out on a world they had no hope of ever being able to understand, and you laughed because you were better than them. You built this place. Cheeky Nando’s.

Nando’s is painted black. The name red. The menu chatty. The door obsidian. No sign of life inside. No inside to begin with, just a haze of images rising faintly through the glass, pictures of plates crowned with food, pictures of young men crowded round plates crowned with food, pictures of greying bones and tattered flesh. You turn to Cresty. ‘Say it,’ you whisper. Cresty blinks. ‘Just say it. Just say nah lads let’s just get a cheeky Nando’s.’ Cresty seems to dither. ‘Cheeky Nando’s. Please. So this can be over.’ Cresty’s jaw clangs shut. Whatever the test is, you’ve failed. Your fists bang against the window of Nando’s, a flailing spasm, and the glass doesn’t give, as thick and as solid as rock. And in another world, under another sky, on an ocean that flings cold salt-spray through the heat, on currents that will carry it charging from a cloistered past to a brighter tomorrow, the Portuguese ship slicks up the coast. Sails surge, timbers creak. The ensign whips in the wind, the captain struts through the sunshine. And in the suffocating darkness under its boards, six hundred men and women in chains and terror, and twenty crates of peri-peri peppers. Top.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

S☼I said:


> What brilliant timing it would be if it happened now. Imagine the chaos


The death is scheduled for 13:57 on 9 December.


----------



## Idris2002 (Dec 2, 2019)

Fucking hell Dillinger4 did you write that off the top of your head?


----------



## Ranbay (Dec 2, 2019)

Idris2002 said:


> Just seen on twitter that she has joined the choir invisible, and that her death will be announced tomorrow morning.
> 
> E2a:
> 
> Ah well.




Love the group icon for the chat......


----------



## killer b (Dec 2, 2019)

Idris2002 said:


> Fucking hell Dillinger4 did you write that off the top of your head?


Looks like an 'I see you' story to me


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 2, 2019)

Well, no announcement and 9:30 long gone. Oh well, I suppose it’ll be a normal Monday then.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> Well, no announcement and 9:30 long gone. Oh well, I suppose it’ll be a normal Monday then.


yeh really shitty


----------



## brogdale (Dec 2, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> Well, no announcement and 9:30 long gone. Oh well, I suppose it’ll be a normal Monday then.


Experts, eh?


----------



## fishfinger (Dec 2, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Experts, eh?
> 
> View attachment 191648


So, she's got a virus now?


----------



## Yossarian (Dec 2, 2019)

The palace doesn't seem to have issued a statement confirming whether she is alive or dead so right now she's Schrodinger's Queen.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

Yossarian said:


> The palace doesn't seem to have issued a statement confirming whether she is alive or dead so right now she's Schrodinger's Queen.


according to the court circular she hasn't done anything since 27/11/2019


----------



## fishfinger (Dec 2, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> according to the court circular she hasn't done anything since 27/11/2019


She should have her state benefits docked!


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Experts, eh?
> 
> View attachment 191648


not _technically_ dead, being as the life support machine hasn't yet been turned off. but the ventilator is the only thing keeping her in any semblance of life


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 2, 2019)

Yossarian said:


> The palace doesn't seem to have issued a statement confirming whether she is alive or dead so right now she's Schrodinger's Queen.


I think it’s a great idea to put her in a lead box with a radioactive isotope. How can we achieve this?


----------



## Dogsauce (Dec 2, 2019)

She’s just shedding, takes a few days for the new skin to acclimatise and weather so it doesn’t look weird. A few days out of the public gaze is pretty normal for this situation, same happened back in January.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

Dogsauce said:


> She’s just shedding, takes a few days for the new skin to acclimatise and weather so it doesn’t look weird. A few days out of the public gaze is pretty normal for this situation, same happened back in January.


maybe she'll regenerate like dr who


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 2, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> maybe she'll regenerate like dr who


It’s time we had a male queen. This is 2019 ffs.


----------



## Idris2002 (Dec 2, 2019)

Ranbay said:


> Love the group icon for the chat......


HM Forces, the love that only men can share.


----------



## Yossarian (Dec 2, 2019)

Dogsauce said:


> She’s just shedding, takes a few days for the new skin to acclimatise and weather so it doesn’t look weird. A few days out of the public gaze is pretty normal for this situation, same happened back in January.



A period of seclusion also keeps her safe from gourmands eager to try soft-shell Queen.


----------



## Mation (Dec 2, 2019)

killer b said:


> Looks like an 'I see you' story to me


It has something of the feel of that, but better written.


----------



## Idris2002 (Dec 2, 2019)

What's an 'I see you' story, then?


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 2, 2019)

Idris2002 said:


> What's an 'I see you' story, then?


Yes, this.


----------



## killer b (Dec 2, 2019)

Mation said:


> It has something of the feel of that, but better written.


ah, it's a Sam Kriss post from a few years ago. 

Cheeky Nando’s, or, what went wrong?


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 2, 2019)

Hologram queen doing Christmas speech this year?


----------



## killer b (Dec 2, 2019)

Idris2002 said:


> What's an 'I see you' story, then?


it's a satirical facebook page that posts comic horror stories involving people who've recently been in the news. occasionally very funny indeed.


----------



## killer b (Dec 2, 2019)

I See You


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 2, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Hologram queen doing Christmas speech this year?


It’s already recorded. They’re just doing a CGI edit to take out all the Andrew references.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Hologram queen doing Christmas speech this year?


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 2, 2019)

This is not the nightclub story you’re looking for.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 2, 2019)

Treason’s to be cheerful.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Treason’s to be cheerful.


1 



Spoiler











2 



Spoiler










3 



Spoiler


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 2, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> 1
> 
> 
> 
> ...



No electric shocks?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> No electric shocks?


i went auld school


----------



## moomoo (Dec 2, 2019)

My daughter was banging on about the queen being dead first thing this morning. Apparently it was on twitter so had to be true.


----------



## Plumdaff (Dec 2, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s time we had a male queen. This is 2019 ffs.


ahem...


----------



## Dillinger4 (Dec 2, 2019)

Idris2002 said:


> Fucking hell Dillinger4 did you write that off the top of your head?



No! It's a copy and paste. Copied and pasted as I made the mistake of trying to find real news about the Queen's apparent shuffling of this mortal coil only to find endless vapid memes about gibbo and his lad and the lads, and this whole episode made me have a think about the state of Britain in 2019, which for vague reasons reminded me that Nandos story. I don't know. This is a whole load of nothing but it actually says something too, about where we are all at.

Anyway, I am disappointed, I was looking forward to some time off work. And the timing would have been great, it would have ruined an election _and_ Christmas. There's still time. I only hope when it does happen it's leaked like this, by some idiot with his knob out banting to the lads. It's what a monarch truly deserves.


----------



## Idris2002 (Dec 2, 2019)

Dillinger4 said:


> No! It's a copy and paste. Copied and pasted as I made the mistake of trying to find real news about the Queen's apparent shuffling of this mortal coil only to find endless vapid memes about gibbo and his lad and the lads, and this whole episode made me have a think about the state of Britain in 2019, which for vague reasons reminded me that Nandos story. I don't know. This is a whole load of nothing but it actually says something too, about where we are all at.
> 
> Anyway, I am disappointed, I was looking forward to some time off work. And the timing would have been great, it would have ruined an election _and_ Christmas. There's still time. I only hope when it does happen it's leaked like this, by some idiot with his knob out banting to the lads. It's what a monarch truly deserves.


Imagine him standing over you with his lad in his hand.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

this thread should be retitled 'why hasn't the queen died'


----------



## steveo87 (Dec 2, 2019)

'Monarch Death Spiral', surely?


----------



## brogdale (Dec 2, 2019)

_Why the Queen's (non) death is shit _?


----------



## Poot (Dec 2, 2019)

I have already booked my xmas leave. She'd better hold on until 2020


----------



## andysays (Dec 2, 2019)

Calling it "The Queen's time is up" would pretty much guarantee her immortality


----------



## clicker (Dec 2, 2019)

I'm not putting her on my list next year. Which means she will fall off a horse and cark it in June .


----------



## Celyn (Dec 2, 2019)

clicker said:


> I'm not putting her on my list next year. Which means she will fall off a horse and cark it in June .


Long sunshiny days for celebrating.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

The queen should have two death days as she has two birthdays, the day she actually dies and her official death


----------



## stavros (Dec 2, 2019)

I might actually watch her Christmas speech this year, having long boycotted in disgust and failed protest at my extended family. With Phil's driving, Andy's issues and being a gullible fuckwit when Johnson came knocking, she's got plenty of material.


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 2, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> The queen should have two death days as she has two birthdays, the day she actually dies and her official death


And two funerals. First her official burial. Then the one made necessary by her death from suffocation.


----------



## mx wcfc (Dec 2, 2019)

stavros said:


> I might actually watch her Christmas speech this year, having long boycotted in disgust and failed protest at my extended family. With Phil's driving, Andy's issues and being a gullible fuckwit when Johnson came knocking, she's got plenty of material.


another Annus Horribilis?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 2, 2019)

mx wcfc said:


> another Annus Horribilis?


An annus anus, an arsehole of a year


----------



## brogdale (Dec 2, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> An annus anus, an arsehole of a year


familia horribilis


----------



## mx wcfc (Dec 2, 2019)

Or an Annus horribilis for an anus horribilis.


----------



## stavros (Dec 2, 2019)

Her and Phil do it corgi-style.


----------



## gosub (Dec 6, 2019)

WhatsApp rumours of Queen's death were sparked by Yeovil military drill


----------



## Poot (Dec 6, 2019)

WILL YOU STOP BUMPING THIS THREAD 

My Christmas leave is already looking precarious. If the queen carks it I might as well not have bothered to book it at all - everyone will have the day off.

In fact, booking any leave for the next few years looks like a BIT of a lottery.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 6, 2019)

Poot said:


> WILL YOU STOP BUMPING THIS THREAD
> 
> My Christmas leave is already looking precarious. If the queen carks it I might as well not have bothered to book it at all - everyone will have the day off.
> 
> In fact, booking any leave for the next few years looks like a BIT of a lottery.


The thread title ends with a "?" so...IMHO...it's fit for bumping any time...up to and including the day the glorious news is confirmed.
Thereafter the thread must die with the monarch.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 6, 2019)

brogdale said:


> The thread title ends with a "?" so...IMHO...it's fit for bumping any time...up and including the day the glorious news is confirmed.
> Thereafter the thread must die with the monarch.


let's start a campaign to give the queen something she has never had, the bumps on her next birthday


----------



## billy_bob (Dec 6, 2019)

brogdale said:


> The thread title ends with a "?" so...IMHO...it's fit for bumping any time...up to and including the day the glorious news is confirmed.
> Thereafter the thread must die with the monarch.



The Queen is dead - long live the 'Has King Charles died?' thread.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 20, 2019)




----------



## 8ball (Dec 20, 2019)

stavros said:


> Her and Phil do it corgi-style.



Lots of biting.

Ewwww.


----------



## chandlerp (Dec 20, 2019)

She looks like a stamp, maybe he licks her from the back


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 20, 2019)

Must say if the queen died at Christmas Corbyn would be off the hook for ruining the festive season


----------



## billy_bob (Dec 20, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Must say if the queen died at Christmas Corbyn would be off the hook for ruining the festive season



Off your hook maybe, but I reckon the media would still find a way to blame him. If only he'd watched her speeches, etc.


----------



## Reno (Dec 20, 2019)

:Walks into thread, looks around, leaves again...:


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 20, 2019)

clicker said:


> I'm not putting her on my list next year. *Which means she will fall off a horse and cark it in June* .



Late-ish June ideally. Solstice onwards   

ETA : Meaning that the funeral and public holiday, or better of all *holidays,* should be then


----------



## cupid_stunt (Dec 20, 2019)

billy_bob said:


> Off your hook maybe, but I reckon the media would still find a way to blame him. If only he'd watched her speeches, etc.



If only he was honest about not watching her speeches, instead of claiming to have watched them about 4-5 hours before they were actually aired.


----------



## brogdale (Mar 18, 2020)

Just a polite reminder to posters not to unnecessarily bump this thread at this difficult time as it can raise people's hopes and lead to profound disappointment.

hope that helps.


----------



## N_igma (Mar 18, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Just a polite reminder to posters not to unnecessarily bump this thread at this difficult time as it can raise people's hopes and lead to profound disappointment.
> 
> hope that helps.



Wanker


----------



## Teaboy (Mar 18, 2020)

No bloody use her dying with all this shit going on.  We want to really be able to enjoy our two extra bank holidays.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Mar 18, 2020)

We won't get extra bank hols any more - they'll just move the existing ones.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 18, 2020)

Nine Bob Note said:


> We won't get extra bank hols any more - they'll just move the existing ones.


They'll have London on lock down so we'll all be enjoying our bh under lock and key


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 18, 2020)

HRH  and philip on one day ? far out man


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Mar 18, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> HRH  and philip on one day ? far out man


Back to Zenu.


----------



## brogdale (Mar 25, 2020)

Still no film from brenda?


----------



## danny la rouge (Mar 25, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Still no film from brenda?


----------



## wayward bob (Mar 25, 2020)

UK coronavirus: tests prioritised for NHS workers, 'not available on the internet next week' – as it happened
					

Rolling updates on all the UK developments, as they happened




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## wayward bob (Mar 25, 2020)

this is why the sudden exit of those other two to somewhere remote in the colonies  heads up on self-isolation.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 25, 2020)

she should join sting & bono in the branson island bunker for the next 6 months


----------



## DotCommunist (Mar 25, 2020)

if this doesn't make andrew crack a sweat nothing will


----------



## danny la rouge (Mar 25, 2020)

DotCommunist said:


> if this doesn't make andrew crack a sweat nothing will


There’s a problem with that.


----------



## Proper Tidy (Mar 25, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Still no film from brenda?



The animators aren't deemed critical workers


----------



## flypanam (Mar 25, 2020)

Proper Tidy said:


> The animators aren't deemed critical workers


yet the reanimators were and are now probably dead.


----------



## Raheem (Mar 25, 2020)

All hail King George! Reckon a six year-old will bring some fresh thinking to the situation.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Mar 25, 2020)

Raheem said:


> All hail King George! Reckon a six year-old will bring some fresh thinking to the situation.



I could be wrong, but with Harry gone, I think great Uncle Andrew would be regent in that scenario


----------



## stavros (Mar 25, 2020)

Raheem said:


> All hail King George!



Madness.


----------



## T & P (Mar 25, 2020)

At the end of all of this it’ll be just Prince Philip and Keith Richards left in the world, mark my words.


----------



## Gerry1time (Mar 25, 2020)

Raheem said:


> All hail King George! Reckon a six year-old will bring some fresh thinking to the situation.



There's always the comedy angle that a completely freak set of circumstances finishes off a lot of the line of succession, and someone who never thought they were anywhere near the throne suddenly ends up with a big fancy house in central London and some new natty headgear. All hail king ralph!


----------



## tim (Mar 25, 2020)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I could be wrong, but with Harry gone, I think great Uncle Andrew would be regent in that scenario



And given the upheavals, protective custody in the Tower for the young Princes and Princesses.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 25, 2020)

T & P said:


> At the end of all of this it’ll be just Prince Philip and Keith Richards left in the world, mark my words.


And cliff richard. Scientists believe it'll take something utterly apocalyptic to kill the dead-eyed crooner


----------



## BlanketAddict (Mar 25, 2020)

T & P said:


> At the end of all of this it’ll be just Prince Philip and Keith Richards left in the world, mark my words.



If and when Keith Richards finally pegs it they'll open him up and it'll be solid lead.


----------



## chandlerp (Mar 26, 2020)

Charles is self isolating in Balmoral with Covid-19

Andrew is self isolating in Windsor with Jennifer-14


----------



## moochedit (Mar 27, 2020)

Doesn't boris (like all pm's)  have a weekly meeting with the queen?


----------



## Raheem (Mar 27, 2020)

moochedit said:


> Doesn't boris (like all pm's)  have a weekly meeting with the queen?


They did it over the phone yesterday.

I don't mean that in a vulgar way, although I don't think the contents of the call have been released.


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)




----------



## ska invita (Mar 28, 2020)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 203815


source: 
UCR - UCR World News ???


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)

ska invita said:


> source:
> UCR - UCR World News ???


Lisa's such a tease.


----------



## Teaboy (Mar 28, 2020)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 203815



I'm not seeing anything corroborating this..  But really she needs to hang in there.  Come on queenie! Die when the pubs are open.


----------



## ska invita (Mar 28, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Lisa's such a tease.


well at least shes not sharing Spiked links for a change


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 28, 2020)

What's "UCR World News"?? 

Looks as if it's well dodgy, so I don't want to click the link. 
Has 'Lisa Mckenzie' got form for posting iffy stuff on Twitter or wherever??


----------



## gaijingirl (Mar 28, 2020)

Teaboy said:


> I'm not seeing anything corroborating this..  But really she needs to hang in there.  Come on queenie! Die when the pubs are open.



and when we can legit get a day off work - not in the middle of being forced to WFH!


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)

Still no video piece from brenda...


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)

Yeah, right...because it can't...


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 28, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Yeah, right...because it can't...
> 
> View attachment 203826


It'll involve fire jugglers as the monarchy move into the 1990s


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 28, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> What's "UCR World News"??
> 
> Looks as if it's well dodgy, so I don't want to click the link.
> Has 'Lisa Mckenzie' got form for posting iffy stuff on Twitter or wherever??


Ultra Catholic Radio


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 28, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Ultra Catholic Radio



Are they conspiracist loons, fake new loons, or just Catholic loons? Or all of those?
I've not heard of them ...


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> Are they conspiracist loons, fake new loons, or just Catholic loons? Or all of those?
> I've not heard of them ...


Just a laff William.


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 28, 2020)

Not getting it .......


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> Not getting it .......


Might be my bad...quite a few fingers this evening!


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 28, 2020)

brogdale said:
			
		

> quite a few fingers this evening!



I'm a bit overdue to be opeining a new bottle myself.
There's actually one Bishops Finger left here, as well a few other bottles   ... including cider ....


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 28, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> Are they conspiracist loons, fake new loons, or just Catholic loons? Or all of those?
> I've not heard of them ...


I made it up


----------



## agricola (Mar 28, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> I'm a bit overdue to be opeining a new bottle myself.
> *There's actually one Bishops Finger left here*, as well a few other bottles   ... including cider ....



how often must the medieval purveyors of relics have said that


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> I'm a bit overdue to be opeining a new bottle myself.
> There's actually one Bishops Finger left here, as well a few other bottles   ... including cider ....


Yeah...and I had one of those really cheap/strong Lidl vintage ciders as well.
I know....


----------



## William of Walworth (Mar 28, 2020)

agricola said:


> how often must the medieval purveyors of relics have said that



brogdale bought all those relics up** though!  (well I have heard that he's a bit old  )

(**Or Shepherd Neame, in bulk!   )


----------



## brogdale (Mar 28, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> brogdale bought all those relics up** though!  (well I have heard that he's a bit old  )
> 
> (**Or Shepherd Neame, in bulk!   )


tbh, for the most part, I've actually moved on from the finger to Shep's "numbers".
All the while I can get hold of it at 4 for £6 it's a winner for me at 6.5


----------



## brogdale (Apr 3, 2020)

Seeing Charles Windsor on the news just now...(still looking pretty Rona flushed & rough)...I was reminded of this piece of narrative building put about when they had to admit that he'd been infected.

Looks like every effort was being made to make it seem that it wasn't him that had killed his mother:


Brenda's brown bread, int she?


----------



## Teaboy (Apr 3, 2020)

Nope.  She's made of strong stuff.  Also she puts duty before everything and she needs to lead us through this crisis until the pubs are back open.  Then promptly die.


----------



## brogdale (Apr 3, 2020)

Teaboy said:


> Nope.  She's made of strong stuff.  Also she puts duty before everything and she needs to lead us through this crisis until the pubs are back open.  Then promptly die.


Could easily be sorted with a pic of her holding today's Daily Mail.


----------



## Teaboy (Apr 3, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Could easily be sorted with a pic of her holding today's Daily Mail.



She doesn't have to prove anything to you serf.

Anyway, she's going to officially open the nightingale hospital in the only set of PPE in the whole place.


----------



## William of Walworth (Apr 3, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Could easily be sorted with a pic of her holding today's Daily Mail.



Mail on Sunday for 5th April. That will be necessary to make her "address to thenation" at the weekend not look pre-recorded


----------



## ska invita (Apr 3, 2020)

Queen to address nation on Sunday over coronavirus crisis
					

Head of state to deliver special broadcast on Covid-19 outbreak




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Teaboy (Apr 3, 2020)

You're all mad wanting her to die now.  I don't know how many times I can say this but we get 2 free bank holidays when she goes.  I've just been speaking with work colleagues who have been given 3 weeks of fully paid holiday (furloughed) and every one of them is pissed off because there is nothing to do.  We really cannot be wasting precious extra bank holidays at a time like this.

I have faith in her.  She'll hold out till the pubs are back open.


----------



## gosub (Apr 3, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Yeah, right...because it can't...
> 
> View attachment 203826
> 
> ...


----------



## brogdale (Apr 3, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> Mail on Sunday for 5th April. That will be necessary to make her "address to thenation" at the weekend not look pre-recorded


Bet they just pump out her horrible anus one and hope that we don't notice!


----------



## moochedit (Apr 3, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> Mail on Sunday for 5th April. That will be necessary to make her "address to thenation" at the weekend not look pre-recorded



 I'm sure they can photoshop the correct cover onto the blank newspaper she was holding.


----------



## stavros (Apr 3, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Brenda's brown bread, int she?



Brenda vs. Corona

One's a small, parasitic-like organism, going all over the world, knowing no borders, and provoking gigantic state spending. And the other...


----------



## brogdale (Apr 5, 2020)

Not live...IYSWIM


----------



## Lord Camomile (Apr 5, 2020)

It would be somewhat interesting to see the public response if she did die during the lockdown; no public gatherings, no large funeral, etc.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Apr 5, 2020)

is she dead yet ?


----------



## stavros (Apr 5, 2020)

CGI has come such a long way.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 5, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> is she dead yet ?



No. But the day’s not yet done.


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 5, 2020)

stavros said:


> CGI has come such a long way.


I'm waiting for the first conspiraloon to claim that her words didn't match her mouth movements


----------



## brogdale (Apr 18, 2020)

For one obvious reason...?


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 18, 2020)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 207402
> 
> For one obvious reason...?


She's been garroted rather than shot, so a 21 garrot salute will be given instead which is rather quieter


----------



## moochedit (Apr 18, 2020)

MickiQ said:


> I'm waiting for the first conspiraloon to claim that her words didn't match her mouth movements



Well now you mention it


----------



## brogdale (Apr 21, 2020)

Hands up who wants to wish Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg & Gotha happy birthday?


----------



## stavros (May 18, 2020)

Firstly, I'm sorry to get anyone's hopes up.

Have Palace staff been furloughed? I've not heard it mentioned at all, although I've not heard that much mention of the Family in any regard. Is she now having to iron her own Corgies?


----------



## moochedit (May 20, 2020)

stavros said:


> Firstly, I'm sorry to get anyone's hopes up.
> 
> Have Palace staff been furloughed? I've not heard it mentioned at all, although I've not heard that much mention of the Family in any regard. Is she now having to iron her own Corgies?



Found this. (Sorry it's the express)









						Queen in crisis: Royal Household warned of 'difficult time ahead'
					

QUEEN ELIZABETH II's finances are being dealt a hard blow by the coronavirus pandemic, with staff at the Royal Household being warned of the "very difficult times ahead".




					www.express.co.uk


----------



## Pickman's model (May 20, 2020)

moochedit said:


> Found this. (Sorry it's the express)
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Is the queen being forced to wipe her own arse?


----------



## Saul Goodman (May 20, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Is the queen being forced to wipe her own arse?


It's looking like she could lose £18M of her pocket money this year, due to the pandemic.



> “There are undoubtedly very difficult times ahead and we realise many of you will be concerned


Undoubtedly. I'm thinking I might send her a care package.


----------



## Epona (May 20, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Is the queen being forced to wipe her own arse?



"Staff at the Royal Household..." bet the poor sods (the staff who work for them I mean) haven't been allowed to leave the premises since mid February


----------



## two sheds (May 20, 2020)

It's the corgis I feel sorry for


----------



## elbows (May 20, 2020)

Epona said:


> "Staff at the Royal Household..." bet the poor sods (the staff who work for them I mean) haven't been allowed to leave the premises since mid February



Yeah this has been known for a while, its even got a stupid name.



> Twenty-two royal staff members sacrificed family life to remain isolated at Windsor Castle and to serve Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip for the duration of the coronavirus isolation.
> 
> A memo to the staff of householder Tony Johnstone-Burt, 62, a former Royal Navy officer, called the mission to protect the Queen and Prince Philip “HMS Bubble”.











						‘HMS Bubble’: memo reveals how Queen and Prince Philip rely on 22 employees | FR24 News English
					






					www.fr24news.com


----------



## brogdale (May 20, 2020)

elbows said:


> Yeah this has been known for a while, its even got a stupid name.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


quarter wit lickspittles


----------



## brogdale (May 20, 2020)

I mean 22...how many does takes to dress the corpses and check on the fridge occasionally?


----------



## MickiQ (May 20, 2020)

I don't want her pegging it, this virus has already cost me 3 bank holidays (4 come Monday). It is her duty to hang on until this is over so we can have a couple to replace them.
 God Bless Yer Ma'am


----------



## moochedit (May 20, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Is the queen being forced to wipe her own arse?



The horror!   ((queen))


----------



## moochedit (May 20, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Is the queen being forced to wipe her own arse?



with the tp shortages and the chief arse wiper on furlough it must be getting a bit grim by now. She never needed potty training before.


----------



## stavros (May 20, 2020)

moochedit said:


> Found this. (Sorry it's the express)



Speaking of which, if only we had Diana here. She'd cure Covid by waving, if Prince Phillip/MI5/Lord Lucan/Meghan Markle hadn't killed her.


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 17, 2020)

Consensus in the comments that she now seems more frail for her age than prior to lockdown.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Jul 17, 2020)

Shit bump  

Surprised she didn’t nick auld Tom’s roller - do Fortnum & Mason’s sell up market rollers?


----------



## Teaboy (Jul 17, 2020)

That's not 1m.  Does she want him dead or something?


----------



## BoxRoom (Jul 17, 2020)

Teaboy said:


> That's not 1m.  Does she want him dead or something?



That's what happens when you take such a big run up. You go so fast you misjudge stopping distance.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 17, 2020)

Every time this gets bumped I get a thrill of excitement running through me.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

stavros said:


> Speaking of which, if only we had Diana here. She'd cure Covid by waving, if Prince Phillip/MI5/Lord Lucan/Meghan Markle hadn't killed her.


I beg to differ. St Princess Di's farts would cure not only covid but cancer. By contrast Camilla's chunder cures bunions.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

Argonia said:


> Every time this gets bumped I get a thrill of excitement running through me.


And every time you feel let down


----------



## two sheds (Jul 17, 2020)

Argonia said:


> Every time this gets bumped I get a thrill of excitement running through me.



It's the thought of King Charles IV that does it


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

platinumsage said:


> Consensus in the comments that she now seems more frail for her age than prior to lockdown.



They don't like the queen to keep hold of sharp implements I see


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> It's the thought of King Charles IV that does it


George vii

Seventh of that name and hopefully only ruling for seven days


----------



## two sheds (Jul 17, 2020)

I lose track of them, not sure which is which apart from charles


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> I lose track of them, not sure which is which apart from charles


It really makes no difference

The nonce is the one who never sweats


----------



## brogdale (Jul 17, 2020)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Shit bump
> 
> Surprised she didn’t nick auld Tom’s roller - do Fortnum & Mason’s sell up market rollers?


tbf, pretty much every bump here has, thus far, been by definition a bit shit...but some are at least 😂


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

brogdale said:


> tbf, pretty much every bump here has, thus far, been by definition a bit shit...but some are at least 😂


She has to be lucky all the time

We only have to be lucky once


----------



## Badgers (Jul 17, 2020)

Interestingly I have (for events) got 'Royal Death Cover' which covers me if any of the 'top tier' royal scroungers die  

Cost a few quid but the UK will lose it's shit for 1-2 weeks depending on which scrounger dies. 



> Since ascending to the throne in 1952, the monarch has seen 13 prime ministers serve Britain and lived through another 13 US presidents. She's now 92. At some point — not for many years yet, we hope — Queen Elizabeth II's reign will come to an end.
> 
> But what happens then?
> 
> ...











						Queen Elizabeth II has died at 96. Here's what happens next for the throne, currency, and more.
					

Queen Elizabeth's death means many changes will be underway in the UK, including several economic and cultural shake-ups.




					www.businessinsider.com


----------



## 8ball (Jul 17, 2020)

It's Friday - it's "is the Queen dead yet?" day.


----------



## two sheds (Jul 17, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> It really makes no difference
> 
> The nonce is the one who never sweats



It is quite disturbing that 50% of the royals I recognize appear to be (allegedly, and apart from the queen) nonces.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

Badgers said:


> Interestingly I have (for events) got 'Royal Death Cover' which covers me if any of the 'top tier' royal scroungers die
> 
> Cost a few quid but the UK will lose it's shit for 1-2 weeks depending on which scrounger dies.
> 
> ...


She's now 94


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Jul 17, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> She's now 94


So’s my mum.


----------



## Badgers (Jul 17, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> She's now 94


Article couple of years old. 

Think a lot of us on urban75 underestimate how big a deal this will be. For me it is (hopefully) another nail in the coffin of middle ages greed and rule by the cunts. For a large section of the UK (and sadly a lot of the world) they are way more than national treasures :rollseyes:


----------



## Badgers (Jul 17, 2020)

Kevbad the Bad said:


> So’s my mum.


My step nan is 98 and could still take your mum in a fight.


----------



## Teaboy (Jul 17, 2020)

Badgers said:


> Article couple of years old.
> 
> Think a lot of us on urban75 underestimate how big a deal this will be.



I don't.  Two extra fucking bank holidays!  

Now the pubs are back open she just needs to either check out rapidly before we're back in full lockdown again (probably around January time) or hang around till a vaccine / treatment arrives.


----------



## Badgers (Jul 17, 2020)

Teaboy said:


> I don't.  Two extra fucking bank holidays!
> 
> Now the pubs are back open she just needs to either check out rapidly before we're back in full lockdown again (probably around January time) or hang around till a vaccine / treatment arrives.


With a lot of the country on furlough or unemployed a couple of bank holidays is hardly a bonus  

Imagine Diana x 10-20


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

Badgers said:


> With a lot of the country on furlough or unemployed a couple of bank holidays is hardly a bonus
> 
> Imagine Diana x 10-20


Not enough room in the tunnel


----------



## two sheds (Jul 17, 2020)

Johnson will be Churchillian


----------



## Teaboy (Jul 17, 2020)

Badgers said:


> With a lot of the country on furlough or unemployed a couple of bank holidays is hardly a bonus
> 
> Imagine Diana x 10-20



Who said anything about the rest of the country?  I'm still working and I demand my extra bank holidays.


----------



## Teaboy (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> Johnson will be Churchillian



Drunk, racist and largely despised?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

Teaboy said:


> Who said anything about the rest of the country?  I'm still working and I demand my extra bank holidays.


Bet she dies 12 days before the next bank holiday so there's only one extra


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

Teaboy said:


> Drunk, racist and largely despised?


And demented


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 17, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> And every time you feel let down



every time so far.

I'd hate for her to die now though, because due to the virus, we wouldn't get to witness the full mentalness of civic meltdown. Think parish councillors and Lord Lieutenants dressed in black standing on rural train platforms in the rain as the train carrying her body hurtles past from e.g. Sandringham to London.

I mean councils up and down the country are already spending money on black tablecloths and black webpages.


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Jul 17, 2020)

Badgers said:


> My step nan is 98 and could still take your mum in a fight.


Maybe, but afterwards my mum would think she’d won.


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> Johnson will be Churchillian


Johnson will think he's being churchillian.

He will actually just be a twat.


----------



## two sheds (Jul 17, 2020)

equationgirl said:


> Johnson will think he's being churchillian.
> 
> He will actually just be a twat.



Yes good call, my mistake.


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> Yes good call, my mistake.


I forgive your error, easily done, it is Friday after all.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> It is quite disturbing that 50% of the royals I recognize appear to be (allegedly, and apart from the queen) nonces.



Look on the bright side. 50% _aren't _nonces.


----------



## CNT36 (Jul 17, 2020)

SpookyFrank said:


> Look on the bright side. 50% *maybe* _aren't _nonces.


Corrected for you.


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 17, 2020)

SpookyFrank said:


> Look on the bright side. 50% _aren't _nonces.


What an upside that is...


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 17, 2020)

Has anyone other than Johnson described him as churchillian, or is just how he sees himself?

I'm pretty sure Churchill didn't abandon his wife and children (although plenty of other faults) and Johnson epically failed the country during the pandemic, hardly a national hero.


----------



## two sheds (Jul 17, 2020)

Churchill did abandon the Greeks to the fascists though, so perhaps spritual kin.


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> Churchill did abandon the Greeks to the fascists though, so perhaps spritual kin.


True, true. Better as an orator than Johnson, that's for sure.


----------



## CNT36 (Jul 17, 2020)

The last few months gave him a chance to be Churchillian. He fluffed it.


----------



## Badgers (Jul 17, 2020)

equationgirl said:


> True, true. Better as an orator than Johnson, that's for sure.


Just


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

CNT36 said:


> The last few months gave him a chance to be Churchillian. He fluffed it.


By no means. This is the Churchill of 1915.


----------



## MickiQ (Jul 17, 2020)

Badgers said:


> Interestingly I have (for events) got 'Royal Death Cover' which covers me if any of the 'top tier' royal scroungers die
> 
> Cost a few quid but the UK will lose it's shit for 1-2 weeks depending on which scrounger dies.
> 
> ...


i don't want stuff closing, If I've got a day off work I want to go somewhere. I already feel massively cheated on the day/weekend away front due to the fucking lurgy, I don't want to lose even more because some old biddy I don't know has died.
I'm self-employed as well now so I will lose money. We were on holiday when both People's Princess and the Nations Favourite Grandma pegged it and it didn't spoil our holidays one bit.


----------



## belboid (Jul 17, 2020)

two sheds said:


> Churchill did abandon the Greeks to the fascists though, so perhaps spritual kin.


totally untrue! Churchill didn't 'abandon' Greece - he explicitly armed Greek nazi's to beat off the partisans. 

December 3, 1944.  Britain is still at with Germany, and allied to ther Greek partisans, as they had been for three years. But when there was a demonstration in support of the partisans in Athens, British forces opened fire and passed out guns to Greeks who had fought with the nazi's.  Twenty-eight civilians, mostly young boys and girls, were killed and hundreds injured.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jul 17, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> By no means. This is the Churchill of 1915.



So we'll be shot of him in (checks notes) forty years


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

SpookyFrank said:


> So we'll be shot of him in (checks notes) forty years


He won't last that long in the south atlantic industrial zone


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

SpookyFrank said:


> So we'll be shot of him in (checks notes) forty years


Oh and Churchill died in 1965 not 1955


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jul 17, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> He won't last that long in the south atlantic industrial zone



He looks like he's been surviving on raw seal blubber for a while already. Well, raw seal blubber and armagnac.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2020)

SpookyFrank said:


> He looks like he's been surviving on raw seal blubber for a while already. Well, raw seal blubber and armagnac.


He'll think armpit sweat is a treat before he's through


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jul 17, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Oh and Churchill died in 1965 not 1955



He finished his second stint as PM in 55 though.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 17, 2020)

I wish Johnson _was_ more like his hero, dead.


----------



## Raheem (Jul 17, 2020)

CNT36 said:


> The last few months gave him a chance to be Churchillian. He fluffed it.


He's perfectly Churchillian, i.e. a useless, entitled shit. It's the people who are supposed to be making him look good that don't measure up.


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 12, 2020)

This thread should be postponed until 2022









						Queen's Platinum Jubilee to include extra bank holiday
					

A four-day celebration scheduled for June 2022 will mark the Queen's 70 years on the throne.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## maomao (Nov 12, 2020)

platinumsage said:


> This thread should be postponed until 2022
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I saw that and thought it was pretty brave making plans a year and a half in advance for a 94 year old. Still if we do have the disappointment of her not popping her clogs anytime soon we get an extra day off to make up for it.


----------



## Flavour (Nov 12, 2020)

I'm calling it for 2021


----------



## Argonia (Nov 12, 2020)

She'll be featuring in my 2021 celebrity death pool as well.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 12, 2020)

Argonia said:


> She'll be featuring in my 2021 celebrity death pool as well.


She'll be featuring in death pools for many years to come


----------



## donkyboy (Nov 12, 2020)

nah. she will make it to 70 years. when you have the best medical care, you got a good chance.


----------



## moochedit (Nov 12, 2020)

donkyboy said:


> nah. she will make it to 70 years. when you have the best medical care, you got a good chance.



70? She is about 20 years past that already.


----------



## maomao (Nov 12, 2020)

moochedit said:


> 70? She is about 20 years past that already.


I believe he's referring to the length of her reign.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 12, 2020)

donkyboy said:


> nah. she will make it to 70 years. when you have the best medical care, you got a good chance.


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 12, 2020)

Perhaps she'll carry on forever, and at first there will be incredulity that the oldest woman alive just happens to the queen, and as she just carries on people will start to speculate that this is confirmation that we are in fact living in a simulation, or that someone has discovered the key to immortality and she's their test subject, and there'll be end-time cults and stuff and the Russians will keep trying to assassinate her and it will all just get pretty crazy.


----------



## Elpenor (Nov 12, 2020)

Die some point after the 70 year jubilee please so we get a further public holiday.


----------



## klang (Nov 12, 2020)

Elpenor said:


> Die some point after the 70 year jubilee please so we get a further public holiday.


I'll be rewarding myself with a few days off once she snuffs it, 70 years or not.


----------



## Teaboy (Nov 12, 2020)

I'm going to paint a fantasy scenario.  Not that type.

Queenie makes it through to the Platinum Jubilee then carks it shortly afterwards.  That's one bh for the Jubilee and one for her death.  We then get another one for the coronation and then lets face it he's not a young man... could we hope for one more before the year is out?

I think we deserve it after what we've been through this year.  Only shame is half the country won't have a job by then.


----------



## Raheem (Nov 12, 2020)

Teaboy said:


> I'm going to paint a fantasy scenario.  Not that type.
> 
> Queenie makes it through to the Platinum Jubilee then carks it shortly afterwards.  That's one bh for the Jubilee and one for her death.  We then get another one for the coronation and then lets face it he's not a young man... could we hope for one more before the year is out?
> 
> I think we deserve it after what we've been through this year.  Only shame is half the country won't have a job by then.


Think we'd get at least two anyway. Don't think they'd dare cancel the jubilee one. Let her die as soon as she feels like it.


----------



## Teaboy (Nov 12, 2020)

Raheem said:


> Think we'd get at least two anyway. Don't think they'd dare cancel the jubilee one. Let her die as soon as she feels like it.



We get two when she fucks off anyway. One for the death and one for the coronation.  What I'm saying is that if she dies after the jubilee we get three and then after that its fingers crossed.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Nov 12, 2020)

There will be massive official mourning when she goes. Everyone out.

My only hope is that she doesn't go until a C19 vaccine has been found, or we won't enjoy the full benefit.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 12, 2020)

She’ll cheat on Phil with with half of Slipknot and end up in a mangled Merc in the Tolworth underpass. 38p to the server-fund if I’m wrong.


----------



## 1927 (Nov 12, 2020)

maomao said:


> I saw that and thought it was pretty brave making plans a year and a half in advance for a 94 year old. Still if we do have the disappointment of her not popping her clogs anytime soon we get an extra day off to make up for it.


Im sure they've only announced plans now to avoid the media sob stories from people who booked a wedding on the usual bank holiday weekend only to see it postponed, as happened for the VE Day celebrations!


----------



## Wilf (Nov 12, 2020)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> She’ll cheat on Phil with with half of Slipknot and end up in a mangled Merc in to Tolworth underpass. 38p to the server-fund if I’m wrong.


Behave. That was Barbara Cartland.


----------



## Teaboy (Nov 12, 2020)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> She’ll cheat on Phil with with half of Slipknot and end up in a mangled Merc in to Tolworth underpass. 38p to the server-fund if I’m wrong.



Money up front I think.  I'm not saying you're not good for it but rumours are what they are.


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 12, 2020)

Still have a problem with the whole Queen Sun City thing.


----------



## ddraig (Nov 12, 2020)

What's that thread with thread titles in again? 
70k views for 70years on the throne too!


----------



## brogdale (Nov 16, 2020)

Hmmm "mistakenly", eh?


----------



## frogwoman (Nov 16, 2020)

2022 lol.


----------



## stavros (Nov 16, 2020)

"Of the Queen, the station wrote: 'The United Kingdom awoke an orphan this morning'."

One can only hope that's been lost in translation. That gene pool's so shallow it's made of antimatter.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 16, 2020)

berkshire local news is running this today









						Here's what happens when Queen Elizabeth II dies
					

Meticulous plans have been made for when The Queen passes away, and Her Majesty's final resting place is predicted to be in Windsor, Berkshire




					www.getreading.co.uk
				




i thought it was technically an offence even to contemplate the demise of the reigning monarch?


----------



## moochedit (Nov 17, 2020)

Puddy_Tat said:


> berkshire local news is running this today
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yep even by viewing this thread, you could end up with your head on a spike at traitors corner!


----------



## Wilf (Nov 17, 2020)

I'm not _massively _a fan of the royal dudes, I'd have to say.  Same time, I do like the idea of charles being pushed even further into old age before he gets the job. She embodies a dull relentless pointlessness, a commitment to 'duty' (lol), whereas he's just a deeply unimpressive human being. So, bang her in cryo stasis for a few decades till even that little fucker george has to wait till his 40s.  Ideally though, full communism before that.


----------



## billy_bob (Nov 20, 2020)

Still far from convinced he is still alive. She looks like she's consciously avoiding touching him in case a bit falls off.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2020)

billy_bob said:


> Still far from convinced he is still alive. She looks like she's consciously avoiding touching him in case a bit falls off.


She's dead. But he's alive. Her slack jaw and barely open eyes are signs she's dead, while her position has clearly been arranged by a mortician or funeral director


----------



## billy_bob (Nov 20, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> She's dead. But he's alive. Her slack jaw and barely open eyes are signs she's dead, while her position has clearly been arranged by a mortician or funeral director



It's true her skin tone is very ... embalmed. But he looks more reanimated than animated - undead rather than not dead, perhaps. Does anyone know if Windsor was built on an ancient Indian burial ground, by any chance?


----------



## MickiQ (Nov 20, 2020)

It all depends on what else gets shut during the national grieving bit, The Stock Exchange closing for a day will have zero impact on the Q's whereas the Beeb transmitting fuck all else will be annoying but livable with (Let's hear it for Netflix) 
We were on holiday when both  People's Princess and the Nation's Favourite Grandma joined the Choir Eternal and it had no impact on us but then neither of them were yer actual reigning monarch.
An extra day off would be nice but it would be just as much a waste after CoVID as during if the only options I have are sitting at home with a funeral dirge on the telly. Perhaps she can schedule it for summer so we can invite the kids round and we will have a respectful barbecue in the garden, that would be nice.


----------



## Yossarian (Nov 20, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Her slack jaw and barely open eyes are signs she's dead



Pretty sure that's a ventriloquist's dummy, not that Phil is likely to notice.


----------



## Chilli.s (Nov 20, 2020)

Quite distasteful the contrast of great free food/healthcare/accommodation/travel and having to provide it all for yourself, that has such an impact on length of life. A free holiday is the least that she will provide.


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 4, 2020)

She can’t survive without her dogs, so she doesn’t have much time left:


----------



## bellaozzydog (Dec 4, 2020)

My dad is exactly the same age as big nose, what the fuck are they doing to keep his auld mam alive.

This queen shit is some sort of weekend at bernies/west world mashup


----------



## billy_bob (Dec 4, 2020)

platinumsage said:


> She can’t survive without her dogs, so she doesn’t have much time left:




Is that Candy in the picture? Looks like it's thinking 'Save me! Save me before she gets hungry again and it's my turn to go!'


----------



## Elpenor (Dec 4, 2020)

always hard to lose a dog.


----------



## billy_bob (Dec 4, 2020)

Elpenor said:


> always hard to lose a dog.



Of course, I agree completely and don't begrudge even Brenda a recognition of that.

You haven't half made me look like a cunt for my previous post, though


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 4, 2020)

platinumsage said:


> She can’t survive without her dogs, so she doesn’t have much time left:



Poor Prince Philip fell victim to the queen's witchcraft as she turned him into a dog for spilling soup


----------



## JimW (Dec 4, 2020)

The dog it was that died.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Dec 4, 2020)

Got my hopes up. Again.


----------



## Elpenor (Dec 4, 2020)

billy_bob said:


> Of course, I agree completely and don't begrudge even Brenda a recognition of that.
> 
> You haven't half made me look like a cunt for my previous post, though



I forgot to add, particularly as they are no doubt preferable to her kids who are largely awful!


----------



## stavros (Dec 4, 2020)

Do we still get  that extra bank holiday if she karks it in the next 18 months?


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 4, 2020)

stavros said:


> Do we still get  that extra bank holiday if she karks it in the next 18 months?



Will we fuck - the cunts will swap it with the closest b/h that she snuffs it on. Like they did with our May Day this year.


----------



## tim (Dec 4, 2020)

stavros said:


> Do we still get  that extra bank holiday if she karks it in the next 18 months?


We'll get one for her funeral and another one for the coronation a year later


----------



## stavros (Dec 4, 2020)

As long as they don't let it fuck up anything important, as they did in 2011 when some wedding interrupted the semis of the World Snooker finals.


----------



## scifisam (Dec 4, 2020)

stavros said:


> As long as they don't let it fuck up anything important, as they did in 2011 when some wedding interrupted the semis of the World Snooker finals.



Snooker interrupted the X-Files for years, so it had it coming


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 4, 2020)

tim said:


> We'll get one for her funeral and another one for the coronation a year later



And then another for his funeral and another for the coronation a year later.


----------



## tim (Dec 4, 2020)

platinumsage said:


> And then another for his funeral and another for the coronation a year later.




Typical, you wait 69 years for a new king and then two come along together. It's all Sadiq Khan's fault.


----------



## stavros (Dec 5, 2020)

scifisam said:


> Snooker interrupted the X-Files for years, so it had it coming



I don't think you can compare a royal wedding to the X-Files. One's the tale of a man and woman living in a strange world, where bizarre and wholly improbable things happen as they're controlled by state apparatus...


... and the other launched the career of Gillian Anderson.


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 9, 2020)

According to the Daily Mail it’s high time she started falling over in public.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 9, 2020)

platinumsage said:


> According to the Daily Mail it’s high time she started falling over in public.



Amazing what Boston Dynamics can build these days.


----------



## billy_bob (Dec 9, 2020)

If you ask me, her failure to support this country's struggling stairlift industry at this difficult time is nothing short of a national disgrace.


----------



## stavros (Dec 9, 2020)

platinumsage said:


> According to the Daily Mail it’s high time she started falling over in public.




Her core skills have always been in the use of her upper limbs. I mean, look at the range she possesses:


----------



## Serene (Dec 9, 2020)

Someone saw Prince Philip carrying a rolled up carpet out of Balmoral this week with one of the servants, with an arm hanging out of it.


----------



## extra dry (Dec 26, 2020)

She fought in the second world war, killed millions, been on tv and got loads of money, what did you do today? 


Only joking Merry christmas


----------



## brogdale (Dec 26, 2020)

extra dry said:


> She fought in the second world war, killed millions, been on tv and got loads of money, what did you do today?
> 
> 
> Only joking Merry christmas


Obit?


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 26, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Obit?


No, she just looks like one, but she’s actually ‘uman.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 26, 2020)

danny la rouge said:


> No, she just looks like one, but she’s actually ‘uman.


?

Mama dear...


----------



## brogdale (Dec 26, 2020)

btw...more of those Wall's fingers from the lesser lizard...will she outlive him?


----------



## Argonia (Dec 26, 2020)

Did anyone watch the Christmas broadcast? How dead did she look?


----------



## not a trot (Dec 27, 2020)

Argonia said:


> Did anyone watch the Christmas broadcast? How dead did she look?



Thought she was pissed, or maybe that was me.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 27, 2020)

Argonia said:


> Did anyone watch the Christmas broadcast? How dead did she look?


As dead as cliff richard


----------



## Argonia (Dec 27, 2020)

What will you do to celebrate the big day when Cliff ascends to the pearly gates, Pickman's?


----------



## tim (Dec 29, 2020)

stavros said:


> Her core skills have always been in the use of her upper limbs. I mean, look at the range she possesses:
> 
> View attachment 242522 View attachment 242523 View attachment 242524


She used to be able to fully stretch her arm out. Getting old has its tribulations.


----------



## stavros (Dec 29, 2020)

tim said:


> She used to be able to fully stretch her arm out. Getting old has its tribulations.



She's incrementally passing the baton on:


----------



## Edie (Dec 29, 2020)

brogdale said:


> ?
> 
> Mama dear...
> 
> View attachment 245502


Why are his fingers so swollen, does he have heart failure?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2020)

Edie said:


> Why are his fingers so swollen, does he have heart failure?


Because the plastic human skin has to cover lizard claws
Note the lack of thumbs, a dead giveaway


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 29, 2020)

I don't give much more than a single fuck about any of this, but concerning Bank Holidays .....




			
				tim said:
			
		

> We'll get one for her funeral and another one for the coronation a year later





platinumsage said:


> And then another for his funeral and another for the coronation a year later.



 , but at least one of those extra BH's absolutely *must* coincide with the w/e of the last Saturday of June -- Friday or Monday, either would do  

If we have to wait until 2022, we'd deal


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 29, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> I don't give much more than a single fuck about any of this, but concerning Bank Holidays .....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You do realise that if Brenda pegs it around June and her funeral conflicts with Glastonbury then Glastonbury gets cancelled right?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 29, 2020)

Be best if she ups stumps now because all the miserable bit, the national mourning, would happen while everything's locked down


----------



## tim (Dec 29, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Be best if she ups stumps now because all the miserable bit, the national mourning, would happen while everything's locked down


A bit of a damper on the spontaneous celebrations. Whose going to be out on the streets dancing if there's a risk of being flung into the back of a black maria alongside Piers Corbyn and Lawrence Fox?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 29, 2020)

MickiQ said:


> You do realise that if Brenda pegs it around June and her funeral conflicts with Glastonbury then Glastonbury gets cancelled right?


 
I'd be amazed if Glastonbury or any other (legal) festival goes ahead in 2021 due to covid.


----------



## extra dry (Dec 30, 2020)

Argonia said:


> What will you do to celebrate the big day when Cliff ascends to the pearly gates, Pickman's?


From what I ve heard Cliff will more likely end up in that other place


----------



## tim (Dec 30, 2020)

extra dry said:


> From what I ve heard Cliff will more likely end up in that other place



Yes, Valhalla


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 30, 2020)

tim said:


> Yes, Valhalla


Only if he dies in battle or with his sword or axe in his hand. Otherwise he goes to Asgard with the Bards.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 30, 2020)

MickiQ said:


> You do realise that if Brenda pegs it around June and her funeral conflicts with Glastonbury then Glastonbury gets cancelled right?



No precedent there, so I'm inclined to dispute this. And Bank Holiday-wise, it would all be about careful timing anyway


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 30, 2020)

moochedit said:


> I'd be amazed if Glastonbury or any other (legal) festival goes ahead in 2021 due to covid.



Different discussion, for elsewhere ! 

And in any case, I did originally say up there



			
				William of Walworth said:
			
		

> If we have to wait until 2022, we'd deal


so it's not like I'm not well aware of your point .......


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 30, 2020)

William of Walworth said:


> No precedent there, so I'm inclined to dispute this. And Bank Holiday-wise, it would all be about careful timing anyway


Lots of things will get cancelled when Brenda pegs to show respect, I can remember the fuss about some big football match that was the same weekend as Peoples Princess funeral. If her Maj pops her clogs in summer post-Covid that would OK with me. The  Q's will have a respectful family barbecue on the day. Maybe find a picture of Brenda to pin on the side of the shed so she can be there in spirit.


----------



## steeplejack (Dec 30, 2020)

MickiQ said:


> Lots of things will get cancelled when Brenda pegs to show respect, I can remember the fuss about some big football match that was the same weekend as Peoples Princess funeral. If her Maj pops her clogs in summer post-Covid that would OK with me. The  Q's will have a respectful family barbecue on the day. Maybe find a picture of Brenda to pin on the side of the shed so she can be there in spirit.



The furore was Scotland insisting on playing a home World Cup qualifier against Belarus, later on the day of her funeral. We didn’t see why we should have to postpone the game, despite then manager Craig Brown being wheeled out to offer platitudes on “the tragic departed Princess Di”.

Briefly Scottish FA chairman Jim Farry was on a collision course with Westminster as he refused to postpone the match. Eventually-as always- the Scottish authorities intransigence was undermined by Rangers-affiliated Unionists in the squad, with Ally McCoist and Gordon Durie declaring themselves too upset to play.

The obliging Belarusians agreed to spend an extra day trying desperately to find something worthwhile to do in Aberdeen, postponing kick off by 24 hours. They failed, and did also at the football, with Scotland winning 4-1 IIRC.

Looking back, an early skirmish in the devolutionary debate (Diana’s abrupt departure having poured lachrymose oil all over finely honed campaign grids for referenda on Scots & Welsh devolution).


----------



## tim (Dec 30, 2020)

Sprocket. said:


> Only if he dies in battle or with his sword or axe in his hand. Otherwise he goes to Asgard with the Bards.


The way he's been treated by the BBC with their helicopter spying and refusal to play his Christmas singles it wouldn't surprise me if he went postal at Broadcasting House.


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 30, 2020)

steeplejack said:


> The furore was Scotland insisting on playing a home World Cup qualifier against Belarus, later on the day of her funeral. We didn’t see why we should have to postpone the game, despite then manager Craig Brown being wheeled out to offer platitudes on “the tragic departed Princess Di”.
> 
> Briefly Scottish FA chairman Jim Farry was on a collision course with Westminster as he refused to postpone the match. Eventually-as always- the Scottish authorities intransigence was undermined by Rangers-affiliated Unionists in the squad, with Ally McCoist and Gordon Durie declaring themselves too upset to play.
> 
> ...


Thanks for that I was fuzzy on remembering  the details


----------



## stavros (Dec 30, 2020)

We could forcibly repatriate her from 11pm tomorrow, with Phil going a few hundred miles south of her.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2020)

stavros said:


> We could forcibly repatriate her from 11pm tomorrow, with Phil going a few hundred miles south of her.


Repatriate her to where?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 30, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Repatriate her to where?



I assume he means to Germany and Greece although France would be a better choice as they know how to deal with Royals.


----------



## eatmorecheese (Dec 30, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Repatriate her to where?


Can't they have a perch in the South Atlantic? St Helena without the inevitable arsenic poisoning?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2020)

eatmorecheese said:


> Can't they have a perch in the South Atlantic? St Helena without the inevitable arsenic poisoning?


Send them to Salisbury Plain


Salisbury Plain, South Georgia


----------



## eatmorecheese (Dec 30, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> Send them to Salisbury Plain
> 
> View attachment 246174
> Salisbury Plain, South Georgia


Thoroughly thought through as usual. As you were


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 30, 2020)

eatmorecheese said:


> Thoroughly thought through as usual. As you were


Yes. We've heard a lot about the penguins but here the queen and duke of edinburgh can do their bit for albatrosses. And terns


----------



## brogdale (Jan 17, 2021)

Sorry, no...but this might be some small compensation?


----------



## stavros (Feb 9, 2021)

Without meaning to get anyone overly excited, any comment on the Guardian's allegations that she's put her fingers into policy over many decades? If true, it's surely a resigning issue.


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 9, 2021)

stavros said:


> Without meaning to get anyone overly excited, any comment on the Guardian's allegations that she's put her fingers into policy over many decades? If true, it's surely a resigning issue.


You’ve misspelt reigning.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Feb 9, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Sorry, no...but this might be some small compensation?



Fucking crying


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 9, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Sorry, no...but this might be some small compensation?



tweet of the year


----------



## tim (Feb 9, 2021)

stavros said:


> Without meaning to get anyone overly excited, any comment on the Guardian's allegations that she's put her fingers into policy over many decades? If true, it's surely a resigning issue.


I'm certainly resigned to this sort of thing happening.


----------



## Argonia (Feb 9, 2021)

If the Queen resigned I would experience pleasure on the scale of all of the orgasms in history condensed into one single moment.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 9, 2021)

Argonia said:


> If the Queen resigned I would experience pleasure on the scale of all of the orgasms in history condensed into one single moment.



Then you'd remember charlie takes over


----------



## Argonia (Feb 10, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Then you'd remember charlie takes over



I was kind of imagining her resignation would be a collective resignation of the monarchy as a whole. Maybe too much to ask I suppose.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I was kind of imagining her resignation would be a collective resignation of the monarchy as a whole. Maybe too much to ask I suppose.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Feb 10, 2021)

She didn’t ask for this job you know. It’s fiorthe good of the kingdom that she remains. Imagine if Corbyn was king.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> She didn’t ask for this job you know. It’s fiorthe good of the kingdom that she remains. Imagine if Corbyn was king.



Of course "Corbyn" can be replaced by "Thatcher", "Blair", "Trump", "Johnson" or any other bogeyman (of the left or right) that the royalist wants to use.

Usually followed by she brings in the tourists etc.


----------



## Argonia (Feb 10, 2021)

God save the queen
'Cause tourists are money
And our figurehead
Is not what she seems


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I was kind of imagining her resignation would be a collective resignation of the monarchy as a whole. Maybe too much to ask I suppose.



Still she is about 95 so getting on a bit.


----------



## stavros (Feb 10, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Then you'd remember charlie takes over



No revolution, where we drag ourselves as a country into the twentieth century, is going happen quickly. Very rarely do you get any kind of mainstream media even passing gentle satire of her, such that she's got this quasi-deity status to some. Brian doesn't have that, so we might hope that his taking of the throne might finally make the electorate at large consider _why_ we have this strange anachronism.

However, I would say the chances of that happening are quite low.


----------



## platinumsage (Feb 27, 2021)

Traumatic head injury:



			https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/vandals-behead-statue-of-queen-elizabeth-in-victoria-park-1.5928145


----------



## stavros (Feb 28, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Traumatic head injury:
> 
> 
> 
> https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/vandals-behead-statue-of-queen-elizabeth-in-victoria-park-1.5928145



Had they never investigated the lack of arms, legs or the unnaturally long neck?


----------



## Argonia (Mar 24, 2021)

Bomb!









						Bomb disposal team called to Queen's Scottish home
					

Officers seen carrying out searches in grounds of Palace of Holyroodhouse




					www.walesonline.co.uk


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 24, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Bomb!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


must try harder


----------



## elbows (Mar 24, 2021)

> “A 39-year-old man has been arrested in connection with the incident. There was no threat to the public and inquiries are ongoing into the full circumstances."



How old is Harry?


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 24, 2021)

elbows said:


> How old is Harry?


36


----------



## brogdale (Mar 24, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> must try harder


Where are Наро́дная во́ля when you need them?


----------



## elbows (Mar 24, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> 36



Maybe they just turned a digit upside down to keep the Daily Impale off the scent.


----------



## T & P (Mar 24, 2021)

elbows said:


> How old is Harry?


----------



## tim (Mar 24, 2021)

T & P said:


>




Crown Prince (and very briefly King) Dipendra was a thirty-something old Etonian.


----------



## brogdale (Mar 25, 2021)

Train load of Nazi gold? 

What do we reckon?





> Police have been barred from searching the Queen’s private estates for stolen or looted artefacts after ministers granted her a personal exemption from a law that protects the world’s cultural property, the Guardian can reveal.
> 
> Buckingham Palace and the government are refusing to say why it was deemed necessary in 2017 to give the Queen an exemption that prevents police from searching Balmoral and Sandringham.


----------



## oryx (Mar 25, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Train load of Nazi gold?
> 
> What do we reckon?
> 
> View attachment 260229


----------



## stavros (Mar 26, 2021)

Not only is she not dead, she's still procreating!



(From the BBC website.)


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 26, 2021)

stavros said:


> Not only is she not dead, she's still procreating!
> 
> View attachment 260410
> 
> (From the BBC website.)


you'd think by now she might have worked it out


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Mar 26, 2021)

NO. THE QUEEN HASN'T DIED!!!


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Mar 26, 2021)

OH. WHAT'S THAT??!!! THE QUEEN IS STILL ALIVE?!!! WELL SHAFT ME SIDEWAYS!!! WHO WOULDA THUNK?!!!!


----------



## elbows (Mar 26, 2021)

I expect you have proof that she is alive, perhaps CCTV footage of her sneaking into your house and stealing your caps lock key?


----------



## Orang Utan (Mar 26, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Train load of Nazi gold?
> 
> What do we reckon?
> 
> View attachment 260229


She’s a kleptomaniac clearly. She keeps her loot in her handbag


----------



## brogdale (Apr 9, 2021)

Not this thread.


----------



## TopCat (Apr 9, 2021)

She has stuck it out this long just so she can spit on that cunts grave.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Apr 9, 2021)

Bumping this is going to be the new "bumping the Phil thread" isn't it


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Apr 9, 2021)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Bumping this is going to be the new "bumping the Phil thread" isn't it



And they're all moaning bout the beeb's coverage!


----------



## BobDavis (Apr 9, 2021)

Loads of life left in the queen I reckon. Never done fuck all & good doctors. Go to 110 probably. So who is going to be the next Queen’s consort ?


----------



## Elpenor (Apr 9, 2021)

Piers Morgan, that’s why he left GMB,  he got the scoop early


----------



## gentlegreen (Apr 9, 2021)

I'll soon have them all iggied...


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 9, 2021)

Could we rename this thread why hasn't the queen died yet?


----------



## stavros (Apr 9, 2021)

BobDavis said:


> Loads of life left in the queen I reckon. Never done fuck all & good doctors. Go to 110 probably. So who is going to be the next Queen’s consort ?



Stayed tuned to Naked Attraction to find out.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Apr 9, 2021)

Any news?


----------



## moochedit (Apr 9, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Any news?



* drums fingers *


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 9, 2021)

moochedit said:


> * drums fingers *


* taps watch *


----------



## Sprocket. (Apr 9, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> * taps watch *


And Cliff Richard still lives on!


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 9, 2021)

Sprocket. said:


> And Cliff Richard still lives on!


----------



## Gort (Apr 9, 2021)

BobDavis said:


> Loads of life left in the queen I reckon. Never done fuck all & good doctors. Go to 110 probably. So who is going to be the next Queen’s consort ?


Someone within the family.


----------



## TopCat (Apr 9, 2021)

Just looking at the bbc iplayer. It’s mad. Total tonguing.


----------



## Gort (Apr 9, 2021)

TopCat said:


> Just looking at the bbc iplayer. It’s mad. Total tonguing.


Remember this the next time the Establishment and their media lackeys harp on about North Korean cult worship.


----------



## tim (Apr 10, 2021)

Gort said:


> Remember this the next time the Establishment and their media lackeys harp on about North Korean cult worship.



Fuck off Mr Juche puppet: there's more than enough contempt here for it to embrace the murderous Korean King and those of his dynasty he hasn't already had slaughtered.


----------



## Gort (Apr 10, 2021)

Well, as I said, the UK media is certainly acting like it's North Korea on steroids right now. Not a nice sight.


----------



## 8ball (Apr 10, 2021)

Gort said:


> Well, as I said, the UK media is certainly acting like it's North Korea on steroids right now. Not a nice sight.



Imagine what it will be like when Brenda karks it.


----------



## Gort (Apr 10, 2021)

8ball said:


> Imagine what it will be like when Brenda karks it.


We'll be stopped every five minutes by the Mourning Compliance Police to count how many tears we've shed. Onions will be high in demand.


----------



## 8ball (Apr 10, 2021)

Fuck me, the Beeb have posted some poor cunt outside Buck Pal.
Apparently you can hear swans...


----------



## fishfinger (Apr 10, 2021)

8ball said:


> Fuck me, the Beeb have posted some poor cunt outside Buck Pal.
> Apparently you can hear swans...


Prince Philip - When Swans Cry


----------



## krtek a houby (Apr 10, 2021)

fishfinger said:


> Prince Philip - When Swans Cry



Purple Reign


----------



## Gort (Apr 10, 2021)

8ball said:


> Fuck me, the Beeb have posted some poor cunt outside Buck Pal.
> Apparently you can hear swans...


Swans can be quite a loud band. I'm surprised that they're entertaining the royal family at this moment of time. Maybe they're trying to get their loud music to wake him back up again before breakfast.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Apr 10, 2021)

Yeah the Queen died on the 24 of November 1991.


----------



## Orang Utan (Apr 10, 2021)

fishfinger said:


> Prince Philip - When Swans Cry


When Grouse Rejoice more like


----------



## TopCat (Apr 10, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> When Grouse Rejoice more like


I wonder which wildlife shooting cunt will take over at the WWF?


----------



## Badgers (Apr 10, 2021)

Hopefully her entitled grief will end her


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 10, 2021)

TopCat said:


> I wonder which wildlife shooting cunt will take over at the WWF?


----------



## bmd (Apr 10, 2021)

Badgers said:


> Hopefully her entitled grief will end her



I wouldn't mind but the Beeb will die too if that happens.


----------



## Badgers (Apr 10, 2021)

bmd said:


> I wouldn't mind but the Beeb will die too if that happens.


Double win then


----------



## bmd (Apr 10, 2021)

Badgers said:


> Double win then



No!


----------



## brogdale (Apr 30, 2021)

Oh, sorry...no, not yet.

But if you're already fed up with the snooker...the state broadcaster has pulled out all the stops for this evening's fare...


----------



## Teaboy (Apr 30, 2021)

We kept the Phillip dead thread bubbling along I think we can keep this one going for next 5 or 10 years or however long she chooses to carry on serving us.


----------



## eatmorecheese (Apr 30, 2021)

She will die eventually. The way the country is going she will then be reanimated before every state opening of parliament, commonwealth summit and cup final, wreathed in flags.


----------



## moochedit (Apr 30, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Oh, sorry...no, not yet.
> 
> But if you're already fed up with the snooker...the state broadcaster has pulled out all the stops for this evening's fare...
> 
> View attachment 265740


Yes partridge is back!  he's been away too long!


----------



## moochedit (Apr 30, 2021)

eatmorecheese said:


> She will die eventually. The way the country is going she will then be reanimated before every state opening of parliament, commonwealth summit and cup final, wreathed in flags.



Maybe they will preserve her body in a glass display cabinet ussr/north korea style. The eternal queen!


----------



## bellaozzydog (Apr 30, 2021)

.wine


----------



## two sheds (Apr 30, 2021)

((((toe))))


----------



## bellaozzydog (Apr 30, 2021)

.wine


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 2, 2021)

Today it has been confirmed that this time next year we will have a double bank holiday for the Queen’s platinum jubilee, which of course can only be celebrated if she doesn’t die first.


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 2, 2021)

There is a 25% chance we won’t be celebrating according to Actuarial rates


----------



## stavros (Jun 2, 2021)

Oh great. They'll probably want to create a commemorative stamp with her face on too.


----------



## maomao (Jun 2, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> There is a 25% chance we won’t be celebrating according to Actuarial rates


Does that mean there's a 75% chance she'll die first?

Best result would be if she popped her clogs a couple of days after for maximum day-offage.


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 2, 2021)

A 25% chance she will die approx


----------



## maomao (Jun 2, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> A 25% chance she will die approx


I understood.


----------



## Teaboy (Jun 2, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Today it has been confirmed that this time next year we will have a double bank holiday for the Queen’s platinum jubilee, which of course can only be celebrated if she doesn’t die first.



What's meant by a double bank holiday?  A new two day bank holiday or tacking an extra day onto an existing bank holiday, presumably a Friday onto one of the May bank holidays?

Lets cut to the chase are we getting one extra day off or two?


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 2, 2021)

I think it’s Thursday and Friday before the last weekend in May (so no late May Bank Holiday Monday).


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 2, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Could we rename this thread why hasn't the queen died yet?


* taps watch *


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 2, 2021)

Wish you were here yer maj


----------



## Teaboy (Jun 2, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> I think it’s Thursday and Friday before the last weekend in May (so no late May Bank Holiday Monday).



Yes, you appear to be right.  UK bank holidays

All they've done is moved the late May bank holiday to early June and tacked an extra day onto it.  So we are only getting one extra day holiday.  

This doesn't work for me, if it had been two extra days I would have no doubt become a born again patriot monarchist.  Now its only one extra day she can fucking die in her sleep tonight for all I care.


----------



## killer b (Jun 2, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> Now its only one extra day she can fucking die tomorrow for all I care.


we'll probably get some days off for that too


----------



## stavros (Jun 2, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> What's meant by a double bank holiday?



She's going to die on a Friday and then, in a really original twist, rise from the dead on the Sunday.


----------



## Teaboy (Jun 2, 2021)

killer b said:


> we'll probably get some days off for that too



Protocol dictates 2 for when she snuffs it.  Its a win win.


----------



## killer b (Jun 2, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> Protocol dictates 2 for when she snuffs it.  Its a win win.


if she times it right we could have a solid 6 day holiday in May/June next year


----------



## Teaboy (Jun 2, 2021)

If she is a true servant of the nation as she claims to be she will have the decency to die in the second half of next year.  Three extra bank holidays is exactly what we need for what will hopefully be a largely post covid world.


----------



## Dogsauce (Jun 2, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> banYes, you appear to be right.  UK bank holidays
> 
> All they've done is moved the late May bank holiday to early June and tacked an extra day onto it.  So we are only getting one extra day holiday.
> 
> This doesn't work for me, if it had been two extra days I would have no doubt become a born again patriot monarchist.  Now its only one extra day she can fucking die in her sleep tonight for all I care.


A bit OT, but I note that Mayday is referred to as ‘Early May Bank Holiday’ on that page, like the Tories can’t actually call it by the proper name with all its socialist/pagan tradition lest they burst into flames or something, the pathetic fucks.


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 3, 2021)

I think it’s always been called that?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 3, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> I think it’s always been called that?


We have always been at war with eastasia


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Jun 3, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> A 25% chance she will die approx


I don't mean to be thick, but how can you die approximately?


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 3, 2021)

Kevbad the Bad said:


> I don't mean to be thick, but how can you die approximately?


Her husband seemed to be approximately dead for several years


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 3, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> If she is a true servant of the nation as she claims to be she will have the decency to die in the second half of next year.  Three extra bank holidays is exactly what we need for what will hopefully be a largely post covid world.


She will live forever


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 3, 2021)

killer b said:


> if she times it right we could have a solid 6 day holiday in May/June next year


True but  I suspect that most places will expected to be shut since the nation will be grieving. She needs to pop off over summer so we can at least have a barbecue


----------



## stavros (Jun 3, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> She will live forever



From the 2031 Christmas Day broadcast:


----------



## glitch hiker (Jun 3, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> She will live forever


in our hearts, in the ventricle not occupied by Diana.


----------



## tim (Jun 3, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> I think it’s always been called that?


Just like Boxing Day has always been before Christmas Day, as it will be next year


26 DecemberMondayBoxing Day27 DecemberTuesdayChristmas Day (substitute day)


----------



## Storm Fox (Jun 3, 2021)

stavros said:


> From the 2031 Christmas Day broadcast:
> 
> View attachment 271688


Ma'am-Ra


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 12, 2021)

She can no longer wield a sword effectively without assistance from her daughter-in-law, which is a sure sign she is in her twilight years. On this evidence I reckon we can expect a double bank holiday in 2038:


----------



## Argonia (Jun 12, 2021)

Monarchy's over. Sayonara. さようなら.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 13, 2021)

Republic.

@RepublicStaff


----------



## Argonia (Jun 13, 2021)

Are the England footballers really going to sing the 'national anthem'?









						And did those feet in ancient time - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## stavros (Jun 13, 2021)

If she's been on the throne 69 years, with two birthdays a year, and is 95 in Earth years, does that mean she's 164 on her own planet?


----------



## tim (Jun 13, 2021)

stavros said:


> If she's been on the throne 69 years, with two birthdays a year, and is 95 in Earth years, does that mean she's 164 on her own planet?


Her age varies depending on which of her planets you are talking about. Have you never read the Little Prince?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 13, 2021)

Now w'e're a Republic I'm finally getting a chance to sit down and listen to some Herbie Hancock for the first time in 43 years.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 13, 2021)

Enjoying myself.


----------



## Doodler (Jun 13, 2021)

Around the time of the Coronation there was excitable talk in the British press about the start of a 'new Elizabethan age'. I bet soon after the Queen has gone the period covered by her reign will be widely referred to as something like that, just as people talk about Victorian and Edwardian times, the Regency etc. What kind of picture will be painted?


----------



## tim (Jun 13, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> She can no longer wield a sword effectively without assistance from her daughter-in-law, which is a sure sign she is in her twilight years. On this evidence I reckon we can expect a double bank holiday in 2038:



She does seem much more chirpy now that Philip's dead. We face at least a decade of jolly Royal eccentricity with her channeling the late Liz Smith.

When I am old, I shall cut large cakes with a ceremonial sword 
....


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 13, 2021)

She definitely seems to have taken on the sarky comments mantle from Phil the Greek.

Makes me wonder if we will see an ITV-style 1990s “An audience with…” show


----------



## Dystopiary (Jun 13, 2021)

Doodler said:


> Around the time of the Coronation there was excitable talk in the British press about the start of a 'new Elizabethan age'. I bet soon after the Queen has gone the period covered by her reign will be widely referred to as something like that, just as people talk about Victorian and Edwardian times, the Regency etc. What kind of picture will be painted?


One of obscene greed, mismanagement of resources, and wasted opportunities, hopefully.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 13, 2021)

Is she still alive ?


----------



## tim (Jun 13, 2021)

Doodler said:


> Around the time of the Coronation there was excitable talk in the British press about the start of a 'new Elizabethan age'. I bet soon after the Queen has gone the period covered by her reign will be widely referred to as something like that, just as people talk about Victorian and Edwardian times, the Regency etc. What kind of picture will be painted?









An overhyped brand, that refuses to thrown in the sponge, with a link to stunted vicious Welsh dogs


----------



## BillRiver (Jun 13, 2021)

tim said:


> When I am old, I shall cut large cakes with a ceremonial sword
> ....



Why wait?


----------



## Wilf (Jun 14, 2021)

BillRiver said:


> Why wait?


My Dad came home pissed up with an (unexplained) sword, which ended up on top of the wardrobe for the next 20 years. Wonder if that's how she got hers?


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 14, 2021)

Doodler said:


> Around the time of the Coronation there was excitable talk in the British press about the start of a 'new Elizabethan age'. I bet soon after the Queen has gone the period covered by her reign will be widely referred to as something like that, just as people talk about Victorian and Edwardian times, the Regency etc. What kind of picture will be painted?



Anni horribiles


----------



## Argonia (Jun 14, 2021)

Finally got a chance to sit down and engage with some Wittgenstein this morning. Hot cross bun and a nice cup of tea for breakfast.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Jun 14, 2021)

Wilf said:


> My Dad came home pissed up with an (unexplained) sword, which ended up on top of the wardrobe for the next 20 years.



Maybe he saw the Queen down the pub and nicked it when she went for a piss.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 14, 2021)

Decided to go for something totally new for lunch and got a beetroot and whipped feta sandwich. And apple and pear juice. Still not safe to put the 'news' channel on (it's Orwellian telescreen propaganda from the Former Regime) but watched a bit of the film Stalag 17 at Film Four and then a bit of an old Casualty and the Bill. Might have an afternoon nap in a minute as it's hot. Dreamy days in the new Republic.





__





						Google Scholar
					






					scholar.google.com
				








__





						Republic - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


----------



## Wilf (Jun 14, 2021)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> Maybe he saw the Queen down the pub and nicked it when she went for a piss.


He certainly beat her at pool for the the koh-i-noor diamond.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 14, 2021)

is there nothing we can do to hurry the demise along a bit?


----------



## magneze (Jun 14, 2021)

Jump out and shout "BOO"?


----------



## maomao (Jun 14, 2021)

Or just hang the old cunt.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 14, 2021)

Boy did Francis Fukuyama take his eye off the ball when he wrote that history had ended in 1989. The history of the Republic of Britain has only just begun. At last.


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 14, 2021)

Wilf said:


> My Dad came home pissed up with an (unexplained) sword, which ended up on top of the wardrobe for the next 20 years. Wonder if that's how she got hers?


So that's what happened to it


----------



## Wilf (Jun 14, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> So that's what happened to it


I've been using the orb as a paperweight since about 1979.  She kept saying double or quits, silly fucker.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 14, 2021)

I miss Japan, 1999-2000. Studied Japanese there, in Fukuoka. Golden days. Temporary exile for being a political dissident. Before I returned to my Heimat.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 14, 2021)

My favourite opening move in chess is the Nimzowitsch-Larsen Attack,

1. b3

The surprise attack from the LEFT.  Half the time it completely and utterly fucks up the opponent's mind and scatters him or her into a hopeless kitchen sink attack. Particularly if they are a novice or a patzer.





__





						Chess Fantasia: 1001 Love Letters To The Game
					






					chessfantasia.blogspot.com


----------



## tim (Jun 14, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Boy did Francis Fukuyama take his eye off the ball when he wrote that history had ended in 1989. The history of the Republic of Britain has only just begun. At last.


It began with the trial and execution of Charles Stuart. The current situation is just a temporary hiccough.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 14, 2021)

The notes and coins and the passports are very silly documents that belong in museums. They are from the Jurassic era. This is the 21st century. What should our notes and coins look like? What should our passports look like?


----------



## tim (Jun 14, 2021)

Argonia said:


> The notes and coins and the passports are very silly documents that belong in museums. They are from the Jurassic era. This is the 21st century. What should our notes and coins look like? What should our passports look like?


Our irises


----------



## Argonia (Jun 15, 2021)

Might watch Kurosawa's "Throne of Blood" this afternoon.

Or might just chill out with an ice cream and have a bit of a laugh instead. And watch some good old footy.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 15, 2021)

tim said:


> Our irises



The Britcoin.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 15, 2021)

Only 787 views?


----------



## stavros (Jun 15, 2021)

One of her horsey wonks amused me with a comment on R4 this morning:



> "She'd want to look at the stallion prospects of the future."



And to think Phil's blood has barely gone up to soil temperature yet.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 15, 2021)

The United Nations still hasn't imposed sanctions on Britain for not being a democracy and a Republic. What does that tell you?

Peace out.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 16, 2021)

Why on earth was he called a Prince and a Duke when he was de facto King? And why on earth wasn't there a Magna Carta and a written constitution in his lfetime given that those poor 25 barons went through all that trouble in Runnymede in Surrey in 1215? How did he escape justice like Josef Mengele in Argenina? And why on earth did 1660 happen? And why on earth wasn't 1215 and 1649 mandatory on the curriculum in secondary schools?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 16, 2021)

Must get round to reading some Benjamin Zephaniah at some stage.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 16, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Why on earth was he called a Prince and a Duke when he was de facto King? And why on earth wasn't there a Magna Carta and a written constitution in his lfetime given that those poor 25 barons went through all that trouble in Runnymede in Surrey in 1215? And why on earth did 1660 happen? And why on earth wasn't 1215 and 1649 mandatory on the curriculum in secondary schools?


After deciding to number years sequentially 1660 was always on the cards


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 16, 2021)

Argonia said:


> The United Nations still hasn't imposed sanctions on Britain for not being a democracy and a Republic. What does that tell you?
> 
> Peace out.


It tells me that the security council veto still works


----------



## Argonia (Jun 16, 2021)

I'm listening to Talking Heads. Just had a hot cross bun and a tea and had a bracing cold shower like swimming in the sweet North Sea. Might have another hot cross bun.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 16, 2021)

I've got a book to write. Maybe my words won't be illegal and can be read openly. And maybe the bloody Grauniad will get an editor who keeps clear of the Former Regime and gives voice to the voiceless as Vaclav Havel would have put it. And maybe the Nobel Prize Committee will finally wake up from their slumbers and give me a Nobel Prize for Literarure. Greetings to everyone at wonderful Urban. My name is Matt and I am a citizen of the Free City of Woking.  Nice to have met you all. Keep doing just what you do, it's first class. I've said my piece and I'm out of here now. Enjoy your lives and live long and prosper and thrive and flourish. And for those motivated by money (which I'm not) enjoy making some tidy wedges of the new currency, the Britcoin. 

My signature:









						Devereuxmatthew's Blog
					

Just another WordPress.com site




					devereuxmatthew.wordpress.com


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 16, 2021)

Argonia you don’t seem very well at the moment. I’m a bit concerned. Hope my worries are baseless


----------



## Argonia (Jun 16, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> Argonia you don’t seem very well at the moment. I’m a bit concerned. Hope my worries are baseless



Thanks for your concern. I've never been better old chap. I migjht have a jolly nice whisky and coke to celebrate although I'm pretty much straight edge now.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

Why on earth hasn't she been arrested yet? What precisely are the police force doing with their time?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

Time for an afternoon nap. Sleepy.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 17, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Why on earth hasn't she been arrested yet? What precisely are the police force doing with their time?


for what?
she can't be arrested anyway


----------



## TopCat (Jun 17, 2021)

Well the planning for her demise is full tilt now.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 17, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Time for an afternoon nap. Sleepy.



that is usually the right answer


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 17, 2021)

TopCat said:


> Well the planning for her demise is full tilt now.



She is not attending Royal Ascot this year, this is the first time she has chosen not to attend in 69 years. No reason has been given for her non-attendance this year, so one can only surmise that she is dead or nearly so.









						The Queen chooses to miss Royal Ascot for the first time in her reign
					

Her Majesty watches the action from Windsor




					www.tatler.com


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> that is usually the right answer
> 
> View attachment 273949



Thanks. I felt a bit weary but calmed down by watching some tennis and reading about Ludwig Witttgenstein and lying down in my bed for a bit. Felt good.


----------



## not a trot (Jun 17, 2021)

She's not been seen at Royal Ascot all week. I assume they can't drag her away from watching GBnews.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 17, 2021)

not a trot said:


> She's not been seen at Royal Ascot all week. I assume they can't drag her away from watching GBnews.


She's probably taken out £80 million in equity release and they are worried how much of it she will gamble.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> for what?
> she can't be arrested anyway



Now her Jurassic era Tyrant Currency is disappearing into Trotsky's dustbin of history her monopoly on everything in Britiain is collapsing faster than the Titanic went down. All the people who think they are rich are actually paupers. Has she ever played the boardgame Anti-Monopoly I wonder or did she not bother?


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 17, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Now her Jurassic era Tyrant Currency is disappearing into Trotsky's dustbin of history her monopoly on everything in Britiain is collapsing faster than the Titanic went down. All the people who think they are rich are actually paupers. Has she ever played the boardgame Anti-Monopoly I wonder or did she not bother?


Is this Peter Dow’s new username?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> Is this Peter Dow’s new username?


Who is Peter Dow?


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 17, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Who is Peter Dow?


Someone with a strange obsession with and hatred of the Queen who used to post non sequiturs that made no sense at all. This is why I’m worried that you might not be well. Sorry, I shouldn’t take the piss if this is the case.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> Someone with a strange obsession with and hatred of the Queen who used to post non sequiturs that made no sense at all. This is why I’m worried that you might not be well. Sorry, I shouldn’t take the piss if this is the case.



I'm just fine mate. Sitting pretty and enjoying watching it all go down at an exponential pace. Currently enjoying clasic 1980s film "War Games" on Film Four about the Cold War. It's finally safe to turn some of the Orwellian telescreen on, though of course not the 'news' channel 231 which is still abject nonsense. What on earth happened to the vocation of the journalist to ask difficult questions and hold power to account? I tweeted Kuenssberg and Peston. Their silence spoke a quarillion words. Are they concentrating?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

Off to bed.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 17, 2021)

What on earth happened to the judiciary in this country without a separation of powers between executive and juciiary and without the rule of law?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

Nationalise Buckingham Palace and Rishi Sunak's 12 houses and redistribute them to the homeless. After an intense fumigation.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

Poor old talented wonderful England players having to sing the 'national anthem' before they go into battle. I'm boycotting. I'm supporting Finland. We won't win a tournament until we are properly and finally a Republic.


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 18, 2021)

Good punk reworking that!


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Good punk reworking that!


Number one in the charts. An important historical document of the people taking their power and voices back. Their excellent "Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt" and "Prince Andrew is a Sweaty Nonce" should have been number one as well if the poor slaves of this nation weren't so busy looking at porn that they weren't concentrating.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> She is not attending Royal Ascot this year, this is the first time she has chosen not to attend in 69 years. No reason has been given for her non-attendance this year, so one can only surmise that she is dead or nearly so.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



They do wear some silly and awful hats those drunken Cavaliers. Are they perfectly OK or are they watching pornorgraphy all day long and gambling with their useless Tyrant Coin? We had a Second Civil War - done peacefully and in cyberspace and again this time the Roundheads won by a country mile for the second time. A monarch must never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever darken the doors of this country ever again.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

The KLF burnt a million units of Tyrant Coin and Max Keiser has been having a right laugh burning Tyrant Coin. My enemies are collapsing into the cold bracing freezing water as the Titanic goes down. Let them drown. They all thought they were rich but they're uttter fucking abject paupers.

The game is over now. Checjkmate has been called and the infant Republic is starting to take baby steps. My enemies were so drunjk and watching so much pornography they never learnt how to play a single move in a Multidimensional Chess Game.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

She had better not slip away to Argentina like Josef Mengele before she gets the chance to explain herself to an independent judge in a proper court of law. That would make me very depressed indeed. What a job for a judge that is. Not my fucking job anymore. I wash my hands of the whole thing.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

Is Prince Andrew's trial beginning at 9am sharp tomorrow morning and if not why not? Who on earth did he think he was when had sex with 1000 women? Precisely how much pornography has he watched in his life? What precisely is his carbon footprint?  And how on earth did poor old Emily Maitilis cope with encountering him?


----------



## 1927 (Jun 18, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Is Prince Andrew's trial beginning at 9am sharp tomorrow morning and if not why not? Who on earth did he think he was when had sex with 1000 women? Precisely how much pornography has he watched in his life? What precisely is his carbon footprint?  And how on earth did poor old Emily Maitilis cope with encountering him?


I’m pretty sure none of what you’ve just alleged  is illegal!

ETA: And it’s a saturday!


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

1927 said:


> I’m pretty sure none of what you’ve just alleged  is illegal!
> 
> ETA: And it’s a saturday!



Is it a Saturday? I've lost track. Starting to be a bit of a jolly old laugh - finally.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

Why on earth did 'Prince Charles' talk to flowers? And why did he write so many letters to 'MPs' in his spidery handwriting commanding them what to do? Is he OK over there? And how is he doing keeping up to date with the 21st century Scientific Revolution? And does he release that the Internet Revolution has completely and utterly destoryed King Philip the First's control system? And was Star Wars a satire on King Philip the First - Darth Vader? The Jedi have struck back and the Death Star is gone.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

Must read some Christopher Hill on the First Civil War and the good old Levellers and Diggers and Ranters and all the rest. I read one page of him on the evil monopoly the Stuarts had on the nation and knew just what to do next in the Battle. Victors write history and I have a new history book to write now I don't have to live in perpetual fear of King Phlilip the First - "The History and Evolution of Ecosocalism".It's a King Lear tragedy we never got him into a court of law in his lfetime but hey ho never mind.  Bring on the new coaliton Left Wing Government to heal the trauma and create Eric Fromm's "Sane Society".


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

What on earth is she going to look like in that court of law in front of a proper judge without her awful crown and terrible and silly military unifrorms and without that sword she likes to wield all the time? Did she realise that wielding a sword on cake was a terrible blunder on the chessboard or was she too busy watching pornographyand lookign down on all her nation of de facto slaves  to realise?


----------



## not a trot (Jun 18, 2021)

WTF ?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

Burn the hyperinflating Jurassic era Tyrant Coin. Destroy it.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 18, 2021)

I actually listened to Minor Threat and am now straight edge so I can concentrate. My enemies are all worse alcoholics than Winston Churchill and Boris Yeltsin.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 18, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I actually listened to Minor Threat and am now straight edge so I can concentrate. My enemies are all worse alcoholics than Winston Churchill and Boris Yeltsin.



Do you mean they're not such alkies as wsc and by? or do you mean they are greater drinkers than wsc and by?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 18, 2021)

Argonia said:


> What on earth is she going to look like in that court of law in front of a proper judge without her awful crown and terrible and silly military unifrorms and without that sword she likes to wield all the time? Did she realise that wielding a sword on cake was a terrible blunder on the chessboard or was she too busy watching pornographyand lookign down on all her nation of de facto slaves  to realise?


What makes you think she'll make it into a court of any sort?


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

billy87 said:


> what the queen needs now is a black man like me to give her smooth love with my chocolatey 12 inch luv stick..i strip of them depends and granny panties and tung punch her in the arse an cooter



Fuck me, there's a lot of tiny brained piss poor trolls these days. Have you met lechuck or Spanner or devonsha ?


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

billy87 said:


> i no troll you white racist cold blooded tea sippin queers dont like niggas,,yea my english not perfect, but fuck you i try to join you an talk an you wanna shut me down cause im a black man im gonna report this to the police racist bigot...ha ha you takes pay my food and house and i sling on the side



I'm not British, you dopey cunt


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

billy87 said:


> who cares what you r, your a white racist devil, and when we done takin over you gonna be shinin my shoes



0/10


----------



## Yossarian (Jun 19, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Fuck me, there's a lot of tiny brained piss poor trolls these days. Have you met lechuck or Spanner or devonsha ?



The racist ones all seem to be the same person, probably working out their anger at their mum taking their Playstation away.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

Yossarian said:


> The racist ones all seem to be the same person, probably working out their anger at their mum taking their Playstation away.



There was someone similar last week, also obsessed with tea, for some reason. Didn't even make the gallery of rogues that is the banned poster list. That's how shit he was. This one's even shitter, if that's possible.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

billy87 said:


> im gettin tired of yous trolling me mf'er you oviously dont like blacks an that aint right i should report you to scootland yard they check you out an  you go to jail you proly got a big swastca flag you nazi



Try harder. Maybe GBN might be interested?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Now that King Phillip the First is finally an ex-parrot his evil Control System is fucking ancient history. Emperors Caligula and Nero must be required reading on the school and university curriculums so it never happens again. Well done to Benjamin Zephaniah for telling them to fuck off and die and well done to Danny Boyle for scrambling her abject mind in the London Olympics. And well done to the Oxford students for removing an icon of her so the could have some peace and think and learn and study and discuss. Explain yourself in a court of law, Her Maj. Fuck all the cunts who took their knighthoods and OBEs and MBEs and CBEs and bowed down before her and her fucking swords. In particular fuck 'Sir' Edward Davey and 'Sir' Keir Starmaggedon. William Ewart Gladstone and Clement Attlee would have given that pair such a serious bollockiing they would have just cried and never said a single syllable again for the rest of their sorry lives, They have absolutely no place whatsoever in the Republic of Britain.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Well done Smiths.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Still no trial of Prince Andrew. Will he slip away to Argentina and live the rest of his days dressed as a woman called Tabitha Pelkinghorn? And how on earth do those poor 1000 women he had sex with feel now? What sort of bukkake gangbang BDSM orgy is he watching right now?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)




----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

< quote removed >
Christ, you're desperate this time.

Almost feel sorry for you. But yeah, go electrocute yourself without delay.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

A sudden Weimar Republic hyperinflation of Tyrant Coin woujld be most amusing to watch. I have plenty of pasta and rice stocked up in case it finally goes into Trotsky's dustbin of history and it gets hard to get supplies in the shops. Poor old supposed rich people in Britain - none of them has a single ounce of money at all. Not a single ounce. Poor deluded fools, chumps, idiiots, morons, twats, fuckwits, and braindead fucking zombies. Nationalise all their houses and give them to real ciitzens of the nation. After an intense fumigation. Then they can all emigrate and lead sad lives in some khazi of a country and we can let decent and kind refugees from tyrannical states into our New Republic.





__





						hyperinflation - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Precisely which porn film is poor old Queenie watching right this second like Fred West peeping through the spyhole at Rose having sex with other men? Poor old thing. She has literally no idea what on earth is happening to her Imperium. They did their worst and we did our best as Winston Churchill might have put it. I've said my 50 Britcoins worth and i'm out of here. It's been agony and trauma, the birth of the New Republic. But after all the pain you have a new baby to look at - the Republic with a written constitution, the rule of law, separation of powers between judiciary, executive and legislatuire, a proper currency, and a whole new Parliament builidng, criminal trials for all the evil people with proper barristers and judges. Enjoy every sweet second of it. The trial of Queen Elizabeth II will be fascinating but gruelling viewing for billions of people if we manage to do it in her lifetime. But I won't be watching. I simply wash my hands of the whole thing now. I will be re-reading beautiful Franz Kafka's "The Trial" instead and enjoying the 21st century Guildford Renaissance.. Best wishes and solidarity to all at Urban75.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Precisely which porn film is poor old Queenie watching right this second like Fred West peeping through the spyhole at Rose having sex with other men? Poor old thing. She has literally no idea what on earth is happening to her Imperium. They did their worst and we did our best as Winston Churchill might have put it. I've said my 50 Britcoins worth and i'm out of here. It's been agony and trauma, the birth of the New Republic. But after all the pain you have a new baby to look at - the Republic with a written constitution, the rule of law, separation of powers between judiciary, executive and legislatuire, a proper currency, and a whole new Parliament builidng, criminal trials for all the evil people with proper barristers and judges. Enjoy every sweet second of it. The trial of Queen Elizabeth II will be fascinating but gruelling viewing for billions of people if we manage to do it in her lifetime. But I won't be watching. I simply wash my hands of the whole thing now. I will be re-reading beautiful Franz Kafka's "The Trial" instead and enjoying the 21st century Guildford Renaissance.. Best wishes and solidarity to all at Urban75.


There won't be a trial just a televised execution stage managed by quentin tarantino.


----------



## dessiato (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Decided to go for something totally new for lunch and got a beetroot and whipped feta sandwich. And apple and pear juice. Still not safe to put the 'news' channel on (it's Orwellian telescreen propaganda from the Former Regime) but watched a bit of the film Stalag 17 at Film Four and then a bit of an old Casualty and the Bill. Might have an afternoon nap in a minute as it's hot. Dreamy days in the new Republic.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


What is "whipped feta?" I know what feta is, but have never heard of it whipped. Unless it's a fetish.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

dessiato said:


> What is "whipped feta?" I know what feta is, but have never heard of it whipped. Unless it's a fetish.


He means he whipped it out the shop, shoplifted


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> There won't be a trial just a televised execution stage managed by quentin tarantino.


I say solitary confinement in a dark room in the Tower of London but billions might go death penalty if found guilty. Not my job to be a one man police force and judiciary for a single second longer. I wash my hands of the whole thing.


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

dessiato said:


> What is "whipped feta?" I know what feta is, but have never heard of it whipped. Unless it's a fetish.


Not really sure. Got it in Sainsbury's with my daily food stamps in Tyrant Coin.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I say solitary confinement in a dark room in the Tower of London but billions might go death penalty if found guilty. Not my job to be a one man police force and judiciary for a single second longer. I wash my hands of the whole thing.


She will get as much of a trial as ceaușescu did


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## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Not really sure. Got it in Sainsbury's with my daily food stamps in Tyrant Coin.


We shall replace the TC with beer tokens


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## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

Maybe we could keep the queen's head on future currency or exchange vouchers, dropping blood and stuck on a pike


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> She will get as much of a trial as ceaușescu did


If she goes without one it will another "Titus Andronicus" tragedy. We never got Emperor Philip the First into a court of law in his lfetime. But his control system has been obliterated and planet Earth no longer has to be raped.


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## ElizabethofYork (Jun 19, 2021)

This thread has gone bonkers.

How unlike the home life of our own dear queen.


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## brogdale (Jun 19, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> This thread has gone bonkers.
> 
> How unlike the home life of our own dear queen.


tbf to Argonia at it's inception I did intend that the thread should be fun, Fun, FUN and nothing else really!

So...crack on says I.


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

I'd love to be a fly on the wall at Buck House. Must be full on panic mode. Poor old Prince Charles - serioujsly thought he was going to King Charles II in 1660 and everythng. I wonder how Kate Middleton is keeping up with developments dressed in all her garish luxury clothes that cost gazillions of Tyrant Coins and busy beavering away with all her ghastly 'charity work'? And how on earth did poor old Naga Munchetty of the BBC cope with encountering Sophie of Wessex on the Orwellian telescreen the other day?


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)




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## dessiato (Jun 19, 2021)

This thread has got a bit weird.


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

dessiato said:


> This thread has got a bit weird.


Enjoy the Republic of Britain old chap. Long live the Republic!


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## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Enjoy the Republic of Britain old chap. Long live the Republic!


It will be a long time before Britain become a republic, unfortunately


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> It will be a long time before Britain become a republic, unfortunately


It's game over. Theri Tyrant Coin has been obliterated by crypto, Emperor Philip the First's control system is ancient history like Ovid, Catullus, Cicero, Thucydides and all the rest. The Republic is safe and sound at last and starting to take baby steps.


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## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> It's game over. Theri Tyrant Coin has been obliterated by crypto, Emperor Philip the First's control system is ancient history like Ovid, Catullus, Cicero, Thucydides and all the rest. The Republic is safe and sound at last and starting to take baby steps.


You what


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> You what


If you're interested in money leave Tyrant Coin and get into Bitcoin. But we;ll soon institue a new currency, the Britcoin, anyway. All the de facto slaves of Britian right now are working for no money at all. Everybody should be on 1926 General Strike until Emperor Caligula's wife is in her courtroom to explain herself. Like I say, I pity the poor judge who has to cope with whatever comes out of her mouth. I would have loved to have seen the Emperor in a courtroom explaining his abject racism and why he referred to the Chinese as "slitty eyed people" but he's dead now so I don't have to live in perpetual anxiety anymore.  Tyrant Coin is worth nothing and should be burnt to the ground.


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## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Nope, not a clue what you’re talking about


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> Nope, not a clue what you’re talking about


Come on old chap. Focus.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> Nope, not a clue what you’re talking about











						Cryptocurrency - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Cryptocurrency - Wikipedia
> 
> 
> 
> ...


What’s this got to with the moribund Queen?


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## andysays (Jun 19, 2021)

dessiato said:


> This thread has got a bit weird.


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> What’s this got to with the moribund Queen?


The end of the Monpoly money with her evil pictures on. I laugh at them as I get my supplies each day - they are such quaint artefacts or a bygone era. To be put in museums and mocked with acid scorn. I have stockpiled supplies in case of a hyperinflation and it gets hard to get supplies with Tyrant Coins so I am sitting prettty and enjoying watching the Titanic go down with a great big smile on my face.


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## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> The end of the Monpoly money with her evil pictures on. I laugh at them as I get my supplies each day - they are such quaint artefacts or a bygone era. To be put in museums and mocked with acid scorn. I have stockpiled supplies in case of a hyperinflation and it gets hard to get supplies with Tyrant Coins so I am sitting prettty and enjoying watching the Titanic go down with a great big smile on my face.


When do you think Stirling will be replaced by cryptocurrency? It’s not on the cards at all and may never will be


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> When do you think Stirling will be replaced by cryptocurrency? It’s not on the cards at all and may never will be


Tyrant Coins are dead. Crypto has completelty fucking destroyed them. All the traders are going crypto now and burning fiat Tyrant Coins..


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## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Tyrant Coins are dead.


Do you mean pounds? Cos that’s evidently not true


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## brogdale (Jun 19, 2021)




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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> Do you mean pounds? Cos that’s evidently not true


Focus old chap. Focus.


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## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Focus old chap. Focus.


On what? I’m focusing on my phone right now


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> On what? I’m focusing on my phone right now


My phone is crap. Don't have a smartphone. Fortunately nobody ever calls. We New Republicans have had to live in ghastly coniditions in Emperor Caligula Fred West's Evil Britian. When I finally get my Nobel Prize for Literature I will move out of my council flat in Woking and it can become a museum for millions of people to visit in to see what a khazi we had compared to Buckingham Palace which is to be nationlaised for the homeless. The kitchen ceiling has been leaking in the rain and I emaiked the council and the drunk pornography watching chumps didn't manage to reply back which vexed me greatly. They sent a chap round in September to fix it and it's started again.


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

She better not fucking snuff it before she gets to that courtroom. Poor old judge. Poor old judge.





__





						the trial kafka - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


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## dessiato (Jun 19, 2021)

This thread has got a bit weird.


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## brogdale (Jun 19, 2021)

dessiato said:


> This thread has got a bit weird.


Yes, we need to re-focus on rational, verifiable evidence that the lizard queen has expired.


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## Orang Utan (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> She better not fucking snuff it before she gets to that courtroom.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


She will never be tried. She cannot be prosecuted. What for anyway?


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> She will never be tried. She cannot be prosecuted. What for anyway?


Well if she is innocent of being a  Monopolist and Tyrant she can be released can't she? Maybe she could spend the rest of her life cutting jolly nice little chococlate and coffee cakes with her samurai sword collection and dreaming of the old days with the Red Arrows and those ghasly soldiers with silly hats tropping the colour  in a care home and talking to poor old 'I talk to flowers' Prince Charles about why he committed adultery. I'm sure that totally innocent Prince Andrew will have plenty to say about all those 1000 women he had anal sex with and why Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell were such fun people - as fun as good old Harvey Weinstein and good old Jimmy Saville and good old Rolf Harris and good old Noel Clarke - and why Woking Pizza Express was such a nice place to eat and why we can't perspirate. What a lively little conversation they can have together whilst sipping tea from their little chocolate teapot in their Matthew Hancock care home. Maybe they might meet Matthew Hancock there if he is found innocent in his criminal trial - what delicious fun they could all have together discussing the good old days. I'm sure Empress Elizabeth II Lillibet Rose West will have a vitallly important contrbution to make about how she looked down on Sunny Jim Callaghan for being a proletarian. I imagine her brillaint mind can recall all of James Callaghan's trade union reforms in forensic detail. They really will have such a laugh. Or perhaps they might cry at last?

VIVA LA REPUBLICA BRITANNICO!  LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC OF BRITAIN!


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

dessiato said:


> This thread has got a bit weird.



Are you keeping up old chap?


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## not-bono-ever (Jun 19, 2021)

how is she today - any developments ? i havent watched the news yet


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> how is she today - any developments ? i havent watched the news yet


Still not in handcuffs.


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## brogdale (Jun 19, 2021)

At present, my main concern about the demise of Liz(ard) Windsor is that the word "King" does not scan quite so well with "regime" in the second line.

Any solutions?


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

I wonder what the national anthem of the Republic should be? Let's have a referendum and put it to the people.


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## platinumsage (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I wonder what the national anthem of the Republic should be? Let's have a referendum and put it to the people.



AFAIK they did that and it's Careless Whisper by George Michael


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Did Emperor Caligula Lizard King Philip the First ever watch Empress Elizabeth II Lillibet Lizard Rose West having sex with her servants through a peephole in the wall whilst masturbating like poor old Fred West did? Is that why he was so confused and utterly awful and racist and slipped up so badly by calling the beautiful Chinese people 'slitty eyed'? And don't you think we're all still in mourning for him? The good old state broadcaster BBC commanded us to sing God Save the Queen's Cunt for 8 days solid without breaks for food or sleep or to nip to the toilet but I think we're all still so Ivan the Terribly sad about it aren't we? The mourning will go on for centuries for jolly good old kind hearted and decent and cilvilised Emperor Nero who burnt Rome and cruciified Christians and played his ghastly songs on his dreadful little fiddle. But don't worry - I am sure that Cressida Dick the murderer of Jean Charles de Menezes  and head of the utterly corrupt Metropolitan Police is on the case and any second the Lizard Empress will be in that courtroom without her awful crown and her silly and garish luxury clothing - just a very very old little woman in the dock being grilled and examined. Poor old judge. Poor old judge. And if she is innocent of being a Monopolist and Tyrant then she can be released into John Major's care in the community and local meals on wheels in a little council flat in far-flung rural Northamptonshire, can't she? Where she can spend her time reading every single syllable Alexander Solzhenitsyn ever wrote, particularly the "Gulag Archipelago" and reflect on why on earth Emperor Nero's Britian was the kind of Kafka penal colony that Oscar Wilde was incarcerated in.


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

If Cressida Dick had a brain and a soul she'd be rushing the cops to Royal Ascot right now where the Daily Fail tell me the Lizard Empress is apparently "beaming" and as drunk and high as a Zepellin. Bet she watched a great porn film this morning with good old kind-hearted decent and fair and cviilised Prince Andrew and during it they discussed their very favourite military uniforms including the Former Lizard Emperor Caligula's incredibly silly bearskin hat and how the little toy soldiers used to do just what they were told and go off and be cannon fodder in war after war after war like the medieval Crusades.  What fun.


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## not a trot (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> She will never be tried. She cannot be prosecuted.* What for anyway?*



Her taste in Husbands.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Apparently according to the London Evening Standard the Lizard Empress Caligula 'braved the grey weather' and is 'alll smiles'. Is she not still in mourning for Emperor Caligula like the rest otf us everyday citizens are? Is she so busy cutting cakes with swords that she has slipped up again? And why isn't that trial starting at 7.00am sharp tomoorow morning with a forensic barrister like Mike Mansfield on the case? Is Cressida Dick the murderer of Jean Charles de Menezes busy masturbating in the toilets at work instead of being a police officer? Did Cressida just get off on watching a bukkake session or something?


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## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

This weird has gone a bit thread


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## FridgeMagnet (Jun 19, 2021)

The amphetamine wank loop will kick in at some point.


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

Is Cressida so busy smelling Andrew Neil's rancid farts on GMB News that she's not bothering to police any criminals? Is she so busy listening to Lawrence Fox that she has quite lost her mind?


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## belboid (Jun 19, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> When do you think Stirling will be replaced by cryptocurrency? It’s not on the cards at all and may never will be


Depends if he can start scoring again really.  And if UEFA will allow a late addition to the squad.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Is Cressida so busy smelling Andrew Neil's rancid farts on GMB News that she's not bothering to police any criminals? Is she so busy listening to Lawrence Fox that she has quite lost her mind?


TBF, it's catching


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> TBF, it's catching


"The play's the thing in which we catch the King" - Hamlet


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> "The play's the thing in which we catch the King" - Hamlet


Set a rat to catch a rat - The Stainless Steel Rat


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

queenlateesh said:


> I want to hear more about lizards.


Beautiful creatures. On a magic mushroom trip in Amsterdam I once thought I saw one but it just some leaves.


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## Puddy_Tat (Jun 19, 2021)

🤢


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## Ax^ (Jun 19, 2021)

enjoy final day 

are they shooting her after the races


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## 8ball (Jun 19, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> View attachment 274286
> 
> 
> 🤢



She looks quite hale and hearty there.
I think she's going to outlive all of us.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 19, 2021)

8ball said:


> She looks quite hale and hearty there.



she looks in a better state than someone i could mention



i'm not sure he would make healthy penguin fodder...

(and if their proportion of fawning royalist shite to news gets any higher, i'm going to put them on ignore or whatever it is you do on tweeter)


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## MickiQ (Jun 19, 2021)

8ball said:


> She looks quite hale and hearty there.
> I think she's going to outlive all of us.


Perhaps Phil the Greek pegging it has given her a second leas on life


----------



## 8ball (Jun 19, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Perhaps Phil the Greek pegging it has given her a second leas on life



I think every time one of her lot pegs it, she eats their soul.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

8ball said:


> I think every time one of her lot pegs it, she eats their soul.


Close but no cigar. Every time she eats one of her lot's soul they die, not the other way round. She causes their deaths by cannibalistically soul eating


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## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

8ball said:


> She looks quite hale and hearty there.
> I think she's going to outlive all of us.


Her and the cockroaches


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## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

"To get rich is glorious" - Deng Xiaoping.

Get minted in the new currency, the Britcoin and enjoy your lives in the Republic now that Tyrant Coin has gone into Trotsky's dustbin of history along with good old cunning chess player and fluent German speaking Emperor Potentate Kakistocrat Kleptocrat Darth Vader Caligula Nero Abject Racist Philip the First the Greek Silly Bearskin Hats and Garish Military Uniforms why on earth wasn't he aborted before he was born? Now he's toast I can get on and study without having to live in abject anxiety and fear the whole time.

Poor Meghan Markle. If she had sent her dogshit children's book about Harry Hewitt the Hilter uniform boy and Afghanistan hero into a publsiher anonymously they would have told her to put it right up her vagina and set fire to it. How is poor old Harry Hewitt's crusade for mental health going? Has he blundered by getting the swastikas out again and is he busy having a Max Mosley leather and fetish BDSM orgy with Oprah? And if he is who is the sub and who is the dominatrix? And what is poor old confused and mentally scrambled Harry Hewitt's safe word and is the poor old chap squealing it at the top of his lungs right now as the Titanic goes down and he hits the bracing freezing cold water of the ocean without a lifejacket and without any hope of being rescued whatsoever?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 19, 2021)

"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely"


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2021)

Argonia said:


> "To get rich is glorious" - Deng Xiaoping.
> 
> Get minted in the new currency, the Britcoin and enjoy your lives in the Republic now that Tyrant Coin has gone into Trotsky's dustbin of history along with good old cunning chess player and fluent German speaking Emperor Potentate Darth Vader Caligula Nero Abject Racist Philip the First the Greek Silly Bearskin Hats and Garish Military Uniforms why on earth wasn't he aborted before he was born? Now he's toast I can get on and study without having to live in abject anxiety and fear the whole time.
> 
> Poor Meghan Markle. If she had sent her dogshit children's book about Harry Hewitt the Hilter uniform boy and Afghanistan hero into a publsiher anonymously they would have told her to put it right up her vagina and set fire to it. How is poor old Harry Hewitt's crusade for mental health going? Has he blundered by getting the swastikas out again and is he busy having a Max Mosley leather and fetish BDSM orgy with Oprah? And if he is who is the sub and who is the dominatrix? And what is poor old confused and mentally scrambled Harry Hewitt's safe word?


Harry cannot by definition be a dominatrix


----------



## Raheem (Jun 20, 2021)

andysays said:


> View attachment 274227


"That's the last time I agree to hire an external trainer..."


----------



## Combustible (Jun 20, 2021)

belboid said:


> Depends if he can start scoring again really.  And if UEFA will allow a late addition to the squad.


Plus I don't think Elon Musk's offspring are even eligible to play for England.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 20, 2021)

Combustible said:


> Plus I don't think Elon Musk's offspring are even eligible to play for England.


Presumably, they'll be in defence for Mars.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Why on earth did Empress Caligula Rose West have two birthdays? Was she busy cutting cakes with her samurai swords again? And why isn't she wearing black robes in mourning for dear old Fred like Queen Victoria for Albert? And why was it that her incredibly long reign was a kind of new Elizabethan Age where all the Shakespeares and Ben Johnsons and Christopher Marlowes were forced into menial work cleaning toilets in a car park in Leicestershire on £2.17 an hour instead of getting their quills out and writing their plays? And why pn earth do the Royal family have 4.6 million followers at Twitter? What on earth do those 4.6 million de facto slaves think they are following?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Poor old Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson needs a haircut again. Is he so busy dreaming of Jennifer Arcuri's anus horribilis that he has forgotten to get to the barbers?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

I am sure that Empress Caligula Rose West, who is a committed Christian and head of the good old state Church of England and has done a thorough study of the Bible in both Latin and Aramaic and the Vulgate and read every word Martin Luther ever wrote - particularly the 95 theses - has made a thorough study of the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah. I bet she is dutifully reading her King James Bible right now as she sips from her King Midas golden cup of camomile tea  whilst red faced Charles urinates all over Camilla whilst dreaming of Diana and Dodi and poor old Al Fayed in the corner of the room and reflecting on its role in the development of Christian Socialism. I wonder -did Rose ever fuck her horses like Catherine the Great while good old Fred filmed her with his smartphone with one hand and wanked himself off with the other?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

I wonder - did good old Fred West bump off Diana and Dodi in Paris? Or was he entirely innocent? And how did good old Fred feel as he slipped off into the trapdoor and karked it for all the wonderful work he had done in his lifetime raping and pillaging the planet?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

We're all still in mourning aren't we. Crying hot streaks of tears for dear old Fred West. We in North Korea feel so sad our Kim Johg Un disappeared into the Einsteinian wormhole never to be seen again. Well done state broadcaster BBC for removing all the other interesting programmes and showing us endless and relentless footage of good old Kim Jong Un and his charming wife Dorothea McPartington Belkinghron with her lovely array of ghastly hats and her Imelda Marcos shoe collection and her truly gargantuan homemade DIY pornography collection. Bet she's very busy watching that great golden shower she had with Prince Andrew last night and the pair of them are roaring with laughter and looking down on all us minions and dogsbodies and proletarians and precariats and underclasses and working classes. What fun they're having over there in the truly glorious 'United Kingdom'. Isn't she happy and glorious? Long to reign over us? Sending herself victorious? Precisely how much crack cocaine has she smoked today? Or has Kate Middleton slipped her some crystal meth and amphetamine sulphate again?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Still not in handcuffs I see. Well done police force! Thanks for raping and murdering Sarah Everard and then bullying the people who went to her memorial! Jolly impressive chaps! Where are Holmes and Watson and Arthur Conan-Doyle when you need them?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Was dear old Fred West worse than Hitler or just as bad? An interesting debate for the historians. I'm off to have another cup of tea and hot cross bun and brush up my Latin and Ancient Greek and German and French and Japanese and Russian and have some fun at last. Long live the REPUBLIC!


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Prince Harry and Charles are trending at Twitter. Oh dear. Is the Heat finallly closing in? Are Holmes and Watson and Marple and Poirot and Maigret and Vicky McClure on the case? Can I hear the urgent sound of sirens and the cuffs going on? And how scrambled will their minds be when they are all sitting in their lttle tortoiseshell Y fronts and Union Jack boxer shorts farting away  in custody being read their rights and awaiting their turn before the beak? How sweaty will Prince Andrew be?











						The 30 greatest literary detectives of all time: best literary detectives revealed
					

The best literary detectives revealed. 30 of the greatest literary detectives of all time - vote for your favourite.




					www.shortlist.com


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## PR1Berske (Jun 20, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Prince Harry and Charles are trending at Twitter. Oh dear. Is the Heat finallly closing in? Are Holmes and Watson and Marple and Poirot and Maigret and Vicky McClure on the case? Can I hear the urgent sound of sirens and the cuffs going on? And how scrambled will their minds be when they are all sitting in custody?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



No. Charles is reportedly finalising his plans for a slimmed down Family, excluding Archie from becoming a Prince.


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## brogdale (Jun 20, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> No. Charles is reportedly finalising his plans for a slimmed down Family, excluding Archie from becoming a Prince.


tbf "slimming down" the RF is something we can all get behind.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> No. Charles is reportedly finalising his plans for a slimmed down Family, excluding Archie from becoming a Pr





PR1Berske said:


> No. Charles is reportedly finalising his plans for a slimmed down Family, excluding Archie from becoming a Prince.


Poor old Charles. Did he actually read the Qur'an when he thoiught about converting or was he too busy saying "cuckoo cuckoo hello lovey little jubbies" to his chrsyanthemums and hydragenas and roses and lilacs and irises and sunflowers and calla lilies and gardenias? And what did they say back to him? Fuck off and die you absolute cunt?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

brogdale said:


> tbf "slimming down" the RF is something we can all get behind.


If we get them to that Jeremy Bentham Panopticon prison with 24 hour CCTV surveillance they can have the most abject rations going while they slop out in their little darkened cells. Microwaveable lasagna every niight made out of processed cheese and wet cardboard garnished with vomit and urine and detritus and garbage and rot and junk and muck and filth. So they know just how we all had to live.They can ask for salt and pepper or parmesan but the cold hearted guards on the door won't listen to a syllable they say. Time will meander on and on, hour after hour, as they have fascinating little conversations with themselves in solitary. Poor Charles will think he is still talking to flowers even though in his dark cell there won't be a single flower to look at. Then it'll be time for sleepy byes in the bed bunks and lights out for another Sisyphean night. Will they become annorexics and die? And who will mourn them? Who will visit their lonely and sad little unmarked graves and put flowers on them? And what happens now all the fascist flag worshippers like 'Sir' Keir Starmaggedon and 'Sir' Edward Davey are rushing off at a rapid velocity to the ports to try to emigrate to a shithole of a country in Latin America to try to evade their criminal trials?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Poor little Queenie isn't keeping up. If she is she'll slip away like Josef Mengele to Argentina and evade justice. But the old fruit just isn't keeping up. Has she ever read a book in her life? Is she illitetrate like 1 in 5 people in Emperor Caligula Fred West's 'United Kingdom'? Poor old dear. The old bat. So busy worshipping the entirely evil Union Flag that she isn't following. What a John Nash beautiful mind the old bat has.


----------



## CNT36 (Jun 20, 2021)

Christ man, I'm eating my breakfast.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

CNT36 said:


> Christ man, I'm eating my breakfast.


What you having? I had three hot cross buns a two cups of tea. Bet Queen Rose West Sodom and Gomorrah looks down on me because she is such a committed Christian and spends all her life praying earnestly like Oliver Cromwell and the New Model Army and you should only eat hot cross buns at Easter. Might have another one in a minute for a laugh.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 20, 2021)

Rant


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Rant


The world has jolly well been turned upside down. At last.





__





						Ranters - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				












						Roundhead - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				








__





						Christopher Hill - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


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## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Come on Plod. Come on murderer of Jean Charles de Menezes Cressida Dick. Get on with it. Cuff her up. First copper to nab her gets a special little gold star, a certificate, a Timmy Mallett lunchbox, a VHS of Blockbusters with Bob Holness, a  Peter the Rabbit toothbrush, a 1986 Mexico World Cup Pannini sticker book and a magnum of champagne and a place in the history books. First man or woman on the job will be the like the guy who nabbed Jeffrey Dahmer and peered into his fridge full of skulls. Or the poor old rozzer who first slapped the cuffs on wonderful old Peter Sutcliffe. Or has Plod fucked up yet again that they will let Jack the Ripper go again and the wonderful old 95 year old will kark it before she gets to that courtroom?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Any minute now surely...


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Some listerning material for her whilst she waits in line for hour after hour to be called up for the judge like someone waiting intermiably in the queue at Argos for a small treadmill. How's her Latin doing? I got an A* at GCSE. Did a year of Greek was a mystery to me, had a textbook called Athenadze and a teacher called Mr.Oliver at the Grammar School - not the Royal Grammar School - in Guildford. Me and my mate Pixie Malone used to sit at the back of Greek lessons and just take the piss out of everything and have a right old laugh. Then we went on a nice school trip to Naples on Monarch Airlines which later folded  to see Pompeii and Herculaneum and I spent my whole time taking photos of attractive women in the city rather than looking at that very curous city of Pompeii with all that pornography all over the walls. We looked at Vesuvius but luckily it wasn't active. Unlike my good friend from St.Anne's, Oxford Univeristy Rebecca Morelle who did Chemistry (I did Modern History with Peter Ghosh, Jean Dunbabin and Jill Lewis) the BBC Science Correspondent who got caught up in Mount Etna expldoing her lava all over the shop. We can have Ciceronian rhetoric in our new Parliament building in our new Republic.


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## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Nope. Eurovision null points for the police. They are sending their ghastly 'Forward Intelligence Team' with their awful little cameras and terrible fluorecent jackets and CCTV footage and Ivan the terrible bendy little telescopes and oscilloscopes and their ghastly old riot piolice bullies with truncheons out to the wrong place and are busy arresting youth climate activists at the Shell Museum in the anti-Shell demo rather than Her Majesty. Zero points for the dullards. Maybe they are all so busy being proud of the way they failed to police Sir James Saville, darling boy of the Windsors, that they are taking their eye off the ball again. How Emperor Phlip Fred West must have roared with laughter when he gave Saville the keys to Broadmoor and heard about all the riotous fun cigar smoking Saville got up to in his evil sweaty tracksuits, perspring away like Prince Andrew as he clambered over the bodies of children and raped them mercilessly. And what precisely was yacht enthusiast Sir Edward Heath up to in lifetime? Did he get inspired when he bowed down to Queen Rose West?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

If there is a sudden Weimar Republic hyperinflation of Tyrant Coin from too much silly fiddling by the Central Bank and too much drunken quantiative easing  it'll finally be game over. Or will the United Nations finally step in and impose sanctions until Imelda Marcos has finally been cuffed by the filth and her three hundred trillion pairs of shoes are burnt in front of Buck House, Windsor, Sandringham and Balmoral by a baying and riotous crowd of cheering citizens? It will be a party like the Brixton and Toxteth riots of the 1980s and the good old Miner's Strike where poor old confused Margaret Hilda Thatcher only got 2 hours sleep a night and sent the cops to crush Scargill's miners rather than arrest Imelda? And was poor old confused Latin reading Enoch Powell concentrating when he blamed the poor old black immigrants for the crimes of Emperor Philip Adolf Hitler and his rivers of blood? And in his crepuscular last years did Emperor Hitler the very average painter and draughtsman and his charming dog-loving wife Eva spend their days reading the Marquis de Sade and Mein Kampf and masturbating each other while Prince Andrew peered through a gloryhole in the wall fiddling away with his terribly little John Thomas?


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## Argonia (Jun 20, 2021)

Finally now that Hilter is dead (and any minute now Eva Braun will be slipping of he to trial or taking her cyanide meds) and the infant Republic is dozing merrily in her little cot with her Fisher Price toys dangling above her head and her first children's book by her side and a nice bottle of pasteurised milk in her belly I can crack on and read John Milton in peace. Starting on Paradise but looking forward to Areopagitica with alacrity.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 21, 2021)

Yossarian said:


> The racist ones all seem to be the same person, probably working out their anger at their mum taking their Playstation away.


Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 21, 2021)

Pay 4 quid to weed someone else's 20'000 acres


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Artaxerxes said:


> Pay 4 quid to weed someone else's 20'000 acres



Oh dear. Poor old samurai sword cake cutting Eva Braun doesn't realise she's having her extensive lands nationalised and redistributed to civilised, kind and decent people, some of whom will be terribly busy growing hemp and cannabis and reading every word Gerrard Winstanley wrote. In the good old American Revolution against poor old Lord North and the madness of King George  it was made mandatory for those who grew hemp to stay in the industry. Poor old bat. She must be soiling her Union Jack boxer shorts over there in the Berghof in the Berchtesgarden holed up in her Fuhrerbunker gazing  longingly at those cyanide pills while the Red Army under Zhukova surge and storm into Berlin looking at dear old Adolf's terribly average little doodles and paintings of provincial street scenes -his degenerate Entartete Kuinst. 

Did she get round to watching all those Downfall memes? Her trusted lieutenant Goebbels and his six sprogs has just slipped away from his one day post as Emperor and Eva is wondering why on earth Adolf had to put a Russian roulette bullet into his skull like wonderful old Kurt Cobain? Suddenly those glorious victories in the Falklands and Iraq and Afghanistan are drfitning away from her incredible memory and everything is becoming as blurry and confusing as a really weird acid trip under the supervision of David Nutt, Robin Carhartt-Harris and Rosalind Watts. 

The walls are starting to melt and she is talking in tongues to the ghosts of Hunter S Thompson  and John Lennon and seeing glimpses of the Ferryman Charon at the gates of Hades wondering if she will make it to the Elysian Fields as the police and the Red Army finally close in. Any minute now those cuffs will be on and poor old Julian Assange will be bundled out of the Ecudaroian embassy into the van. At the trial will she be so busy trying to work out Adolf and her's total carbon footprint from all those jolly little jaunts to see Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson's racist 'picannines' in her Imperium that she has not a single further word to say for herself? 

And what is that cult of worshippers of Adolf who think he was God in Vanuatu going to make of seeing their glorious Empress defrocked and naked while the barristers cross-examine her and the poor old judges have to listen to the silence that comes out of her mouth - as silent as Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring" or John Cage's music. Not a single little murmur or a single little rancid fart.


----------



## Chilli.s (Jun 21, 2021)

That's a bit sharp, getting people to weed the richest persons garden for a small fee. Another world.


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Time to brew up my samovar and have cup of tea two and hot cross bun two of the day. I get a Daily Fail pop up on the computer which tells me daily updates about the drunken Cavaliers and what fun they are having and I am smiling with amuseument as they slide away into the history books at an exponential pace never to darken the doors of this country again. Little do they realise what on earth is about to hit them all. If only any of them had read a word of a book in their little lives but they were too busy gazing in their looking glasses like Alice and failing to read the myth of Narcissus and Echo and or Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse masturbating at the sight of all their military uniforms and little medals and laughing as soldier after soldier did their bidding and lost their lives. The one I feel most sorry is poor old Prince George who must have bullied and stolen all the other kids' train sets in the nursery or the poor old sprog Lillibet being born just on the cusp of Eva Braun's trial or suicide. That's like saddling your child with the name Cunt and then expecting them to get on with their life. What a Fellini Satyricon farce. Thanks Emperor Nero.


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Just got offered sex in a hotel room at Facebook but fobbed her offf by telling her I only have sex with my wife. Are we in the Republic suddenly rather intriguing to our many frends around the world? As popular with the ladies as Prince Andrew used to be with his 1000 notches in his bedpost?


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Wondering if poor old Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson will be bunking with a terrorist in Belmarsh if found guilty in his trial by an independent judiciary. I am sure he can explain at great length what he meant by calling burqas 'letterboxes' in his Churchillian rhetoric and why he said "nanny is taking away our toys" after Dunblane. Hope he's busy right now watching good old Ronnie Barker in "Porridge" to get himself ready. What fun. Or maybe he will be bunking with a paedophile or a bank robber or a hit and run driver or a murderer or Prince Andrew or George W Bush or Anthony Charles Lynton Blair? What delicious fun. He'll look such a pretty picture in his little fascist flag United Jack boxer shorts farting away like Churchill after yet anohter massive meal of quails, duck eggs, camembert, oysters, lobsters, fruit, cheese and crackers all washed down with 145,002,183 cans of refreshing Tennent's Super. Poor old Alexander the Great.





__





						Alexander the Great - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> That's a bit sharp, getting people to weed the richest persons garden for a small fee. Another world.


A wonderful 3.21 units per hour of Tyrant Coin to clean up her excrement and piss with a little bogbrush in a commode made of King Midas gold while obese and crack cocaine smoking servants peer through the glass and roar with laugher. What fun. I'm sure Eva Braun will have the volunteers rushing to her banner in their billions.


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Did Emperor Philip Caligula Hitler ever try to make his horse his consul or declare war on the god Neptune? Or have sex with his sisters at lavish banquets? And why on earth didn't he only rule for only four years? What were the Praetorian Guard up to?  Or did he make senators fight as gladiators and prostitute their wives like Nero?





__





						Roman Emperor Caligula: Horse, Facts, Life And Scandals | HistoryExtra
					

Caligula is known for his sexual perversions and scandalous behaviour, but his reputation may have been exaggerated



					www.historyextra.com
				








__





						Emperor Caligula - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


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## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Oh dear. Poor old samurai sword cake cutting Eva Braun doesn't realise she's having her extensive lands nationalised and redistributed to civilised, kind and decent people, some of whom will be terribly busy growing hemp and cannabis and reading every word Gerrard Winstanley wrote. In the good old American Revolution against poor old Lord North and the madness of King George  it was made mandatory for those who grew hemp to stay in the industry. Poor old bat. She must be soiling her Union Jack boxer shorts over there in the Berghof in the Berchtesgarden holed up in her Fuhrerbunker gazing  longingly at those cyanide pills while the Red Army under Zhukova surge and storm into Berlin looking at dear old Adolf's terribly average little doodles and paintings of provincial street scenes -his degenerate Entartete Kuinst. Did she get round to watching all those Downfall memes? Her trusted lieutenant Goebbels and his six sprogs has just slipped away from his one day post as Emperor and Eva is wondering why on earth Adolf had to put a Russian roulette bullet into his skull like wonderful old Kurt Cobain? Suddenly those glorious victories in the Falklands and Iraq and Afghanistan are drfitning away from her incredible memory and everything is becoming as blurry and confusing as a really weird acid trip under the supervision of David Nutt, Robin Carhartt-Harris and Rosalind Watts. The walls are starting to melt and she is talking in tongues to the ghosts of Hunter S Thompson  and John Lennon and seeing glimpses of the Ferryman Charon at the gates of Hades wondering if she will make it to the Elysian Fields as the police and the Red Army finally close in. Any minute now those cuffs will be on and poor old Julian Assange will be bundled out of the Ecudaroian embassy into the van. At the trial will she be so busy trying to work out Adolf and her's total carbon footprint from all those jolly little jaunts to see Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson's racist 'picannines' in her Imperium that she has not a single further word to say for herself? And what is that cult of worshippers of Adolf who think he was God in Vanuatu going to make of seeing their glorious Empress defrocked and naked while the barristers cross-examine her and the poor old judges have to listen to the silence that comes out of her mouth - as silent as Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring" or John Cage's music. Not a single little murmur or a single little rancid fart.



Pls could you divide your posts into paragraphs for ease of reading?


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Pls could you divide your posts into paragraphs for ease of reading?



I'll do my best.


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Now the Emperor is toast I took the trouble last night to download a free sample on my Kindle of a biography of him. One of his brilliant observations that stood out for me - as truly brillaint as describing the Chinese as 'slitty eyed'  was that "young people are as ignorant as ever".What an incredible observation from a John Nash beautiful mind. What did poor old Fiona Bruce do to cleanse her soul after she encountered his racism and misogyny and homophobia? How do the poor old 800 charities he was head of feel now that Hitler has gone down the trapdoor? How did poor old Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala cope with coming across Hitler?









						Prince Philip's gaffes from decades on royal duty
					

After the Duke of Edinburgh steps down from duties, we take a look back at some of the infamous remarks he has made while in the public eye.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




  I did his 'Duke of Edinburgh Award' scheme (instead of dreadfuil military Combined Cadet Force where people were being prepared to be the next cannon fodder in the Emperor's latest crusade)  at school at hated every nano-second of it with a violent, raging, seething surging, burning passion. We were packed off to camp in the woods. It rained and there was a leak in the tent. We were packed in like sardines or like Ernest Shackleton.

 My mate Pixie Malone was there making me laugh as usual and a guy called Rod Sandys a relation of Churchill who had a massive box in the tent filled with drugs, pills, poppers, potions and tinctures. Poor old Sandys wrote a book about a Utopia based on Thomas More but got into gambling and snorted more coke than Daniella Westbrook and Angus Deayton and died in a hotel room in China of a heart attack if I remember rightly. I remember some fuckwit ar school said to me "are you an intellectual?" when I had my copy of Utopia to take the piss. 

Bet that fuckbrained moron is busy counting his Tyrant Coin and gambling it and wanking offf about having sex with Camilla our Queen of Hearts and not realising that his Antichrist United Kingdom is collapsing into Trotsky's hungry and ravenous dustbin of history. On my briefcase at school I had a sticker of Nelson Mandela and that drew scorn from my racist opponents who were all probably terribly busy preparing to be members of the Apartheid supporting Tory Monday Club. And as a young Communist I made posters for the Communist candidate Marc Blanco in the school election and he told me off for stamping on his campaign. The poor bloke was recently slung out of a window and quite possibly murdered by Pete Doherty's mates but I don't think hopeless old Plod got on the case. I phoned his poor mother and spoke to her when I lived for a brief period in Cambridge.


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## BillRiver (Jun 21, 2021)

Argonia 

if you don't mind me asking how well are you sleeping at the moment?

Normal (for you) amounts or ... ?

And are you eating and drinking as is usual for you?


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

BillRiver said:


> Argonia
> 
> if you don't mind me asking how well are you sleeping at the moment?
> 
> ...



Thanks for asking. Bit all over the shop. Bit like Margaret Hilda Thatcher in the dreadful 1980s getttng two hours sleep a night. Mum tells me to do my sleep hygiene and slow down in the evenings. Night times are hard work because like libertarian American comedian Doug Stanhope the carnival starts and thoughts and ideas bubble up and songs are sung. Used to have David Baddilel levels of insomina and be up all night thinking. Poor old Stanhope can't get a night's sleep without being as drunk as Churchill and his wife Clementine.  just felt suddenly exhausted and had a nice afternoon nap before reading my study of the pure evil of "Mein Kampf" and finally engaging with Churchill.

The ghastly old drunken imperialist who ate fine dinners and was drunk all the time isn't on my side of the fence - I'm with Attlee and Bevan - but he had one of the most extraoridnary minds in human history and if we hadn't been an island we would probbaly have gone the way of poor old France with their hopeless Maginot Line outflanked bye eviil Corporal Hitler's brutal Blitzkreig war machine in the Ardennes forest (building on the Sclieffen Plan in the First World War) and Harry Hewitt's swastika flag would have flown over London and Winston would have been interned in an Aushwitz or Bergen Belsen and Treblinka and gassed with Zyklon B.

So finally good just to potter around and do my thing and read and write and study in peace and quiet. My grandfather Ian Cuffe who recently died aged 102 fought in the Navy against Nazism and I am so glad he survived and went into the new technology of radar. He commanded me to get political and "get the flags and banners out" so I got very political. And my grandmother Olive 'Pat' enjoyed her war driving around Italian POWs from ghastly old Benito Mussolini's crap war machine where morale was low and nobdoy wanted to do any fighting.

As for food I am fine. Get my daily supplies in Tyrant Coin from Sainsburys and have stocked up with plenty of pasta and rice in case of a sudden Weimar Republic hyperinflation and it starts to get hard to get supplies in the shops with a collapsing Tyrant Coin. My mum hasn't listened to my commandment to stock up and so I might have to try to barter my way on a train from Woking to Petersifled and give her some pasta as I would be most displeased to have her starve to death. So sitting pretty over here in my council flat and enjoying watching the Titanic go down after 43 years of blood, sweat, toil and tears as Churchill might have put it.





__





						hyperinflations - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


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## BillRiver (Jun 21, 2021)

Glad to hear that you had a nap Argonia, hope you get some more sleep soon.

I don't need to tell you, Margaret Thatcher is not a good role model!

You sound like a super interesting person. I hope you continue to take care of your good self 😊


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

BillRiver said:


> Glad to hear that you had a nap Argonia, hope you get some more sleep soon.
> 
> I don't need to tell you, Margaret Thatcher is not a good role model!
> 
> You sound like a super interesting person. I hope you continue to take care of your good self 😊


I certainly don't admire Margaret. Don't want to be sexist - admire the fact she made it in a man's world but if she had stayed as a provincial housewife in Grantham cooking meals for poor old golf playing drunken Dennis and mowing the lawn and looking after her sprogs and getting eight hours of proper sleep a night we wouldn't be in quite such a mess as we are now. And all those poor soldiers might not have died in Goose Green once she locked horns with Galtieri in Argentina. What passes for Conservatism these days is a terribly useless little joke and poor old drunken Winston would be raging and screaming at them in private rooms like he did with poor old muddled up Stanley Baldwin and confused but generally kind Neville Chamberlain who couldn't cope with evil Corporal Hitler at Muncih and his brutal annexation of the Sudetenland and his early sketches for his Blitzkrieg destruction using the evil but brillaint Enigma Machine that wonderful (and utterly abused) Alan Turng and Harry Golombek at the other chess and maths geniuses cracked at Bletchley. of the poor old ill prepared Polish cavalry.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2021)

BillRiver said:


> Glad to hear that you had a nap Argonia, hope you get some more sleep soon.
> 
> I don't need to tell you, Margaret Thatcher is not a good role model!
> 
> You sound like a super interesting person. I hope you continue to take care of your good self 😊


She is an excellent role model if you want to know what not to do


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## Argonia (Jun 21, 2021)

Trying desperately to slow down for the night but the brain is surging like a Japanese Shinkansen. It's like trying to tame a wild horse racing away in all directions. When I studied in Japan I got a 'seishinjuhachikippu' which was a ticket for slow trains from Fukuoka to Tokyo. Never actually got to ride a Shinkansen. Then I went on another trip with my lovely gilfiriend Noriko Kimoto and listened to her talk to the guys in the cars who picked us up - none of whom turned out to be  Fred West the predator picking up poor old Martin Amis's cousin Lucy Partington and all the rest.

My magic mushroom trip in Tokyo in New Year's Eve on 1999/2000 was awesome. I ended up in a dive bar in Shinjuku and talked to a Russian woman in Japanese who was initially fascinated by me but then suddenly hated me. Then I went for a walk round the city like a flaneur and looked at everything in amazement and ended up at a Zen Buddhist shrine where people were wearing kimonos. Heaven knows how I made it back to my hotel.

Even better than my trips in Amsterdam and at Oxford Univeristy. Worst one was when my girlfriend at Oxford Carol had gone to Manchester and I tripped alone and thought I had died but I got back to college and my friend Jane who was the best English Lit student but who they gave a 2:1 to) and Hadley Freeman of the Guardian helped me calm down and relax and come back from the brink. Hadley gave me a gig at the Cherwell student newspaper writing film and book reviewsand editing the May Anthologies of verse and poetry with a nice guy called Chris Tryhorn who went into journalism but the bloody Grauniad didn't pick me up and give me a job which drove me mental.

They have fucked around with poor old Hadley and given her a crap gig writing boring articles about fashion and 1980s American films instead of making her editor. We're legalising here in the Republic. Churchill couldn'at have done a job on Adolf without cannabis and I couldn't have given birth to the Republic without melting my depressed mind with mushies and without a single MDMA jaunt in the club the End where I suddenly felt great empathy towards my fellow citizens instead of fear and an urgent need to dance to the music. I don't need drugs to keep sane now - I keep sane my doing my job of reading and writing and thinking but I needed them then and we need to legalise and above all educate that you don't need them but they can be useful.

We have a powerhose Republic to enjoy - can be a powerhouse of the Green Industrial Revoltuion to sort out climate change and peak oil. The Windosrs are simply in the way and need to be taken to their prison cells immeidately so the Shinkansen and French TGV of the Republic can rage and surge at a quadrillion miles an hour. All the geniuses of the Republic can't be held back and kept in chains in Plato's cave for a single nano-second longer. When on earth will it finally all be over?


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## Yossarian (Jun 21, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.



You what?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.


Does anyone except David Cameron groupies say chillax?


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## BillRiver (Jun 21, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Trying desperately to slow down for the night but the brain is surging like a Japanese Shinkansen. It's like trying to tame a wild horse racing away in all directions.



Do you have access to any medications that might help you rest your mind a bit? Just for the night maybe?

I'm enjoying reading your posts, you are a very interesting person! So I don't want to silence you, but I am a bit concerned you might be in need of a rest to recharge somewhat.


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## AmateurAgitator (Jun 21, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.


And that's the sort of comment posted by an utter prick.


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## brogdale (Jun 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Does anyone except David Cameron groupies say chillax?


Wouldn’t it have been reasonable to expect the quality of trolling on here to improve over the last 15 months what with other activities curtailed/more time to spend perfecting their art etc.

Seems the opposite has occurred, if anything.


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## Spanner (Jun 21, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Wouldn’t it have been reasonable to expect the quality of trolling on here to improve over the last 15 months what with other activities curtailed/more time to spend perfecting their art etc.
> 
> Seems the opposite has occurred, if anything.





Count Cuckula said:


> And that's the sort of comment posted by an utter prick.





Pickman's model said:


> Does anyone except David Cameron groupies say chillax?


You all need to take a chill pill


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## brogdale (Jun 21, 2021)

QED


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## William of Walworth (Jun 21, 2021)

@*All* posts by Argonia :

I want some of what he's having!!  

Maybe ....


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## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2021)

Spanner said:


> You all need to take a chill pill


You need to take an hcn pill


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## Spanner (Jun 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You need to take an hcn pill


, Mr Bond.


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## Spanner (Jun 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You need to take an hcn pill


are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?


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## brogdale (Jun 21, 2021)

William of Walworth said:


> @*All* posts by Argonia :
> 
> I want some of what he's having!!
> 
> Maybe ....


A version of the old public bar quip _I’ll have an half of what he’s on _for the bloke who’d ended up supping in 2 ‘schools’. 😀


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## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2021)

Spanner said:


> are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?


It'd improve your contributions here no end


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## Raheem (Jun 21, 2021)

Spanner said:


> are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?


I think it was stronger than a suggestion.


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## Spanner (Jun 21, 2021)

Raheem said:


> I think it was stronger than a suggestion.


An instruction?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2021)

Spanner said:


> An instruction?


You say that as tho it would be a bad idea


----------



## Spanner (Jun 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> It'd improve your contributions here no end





Pickman's model said:


> You say that as tho it would be a bad idea


Mate, you’re a self-important prick.

For all you know I could be suicidal, and yet you matter-of-factly tell me the world would improve if I topped myself. 

All because you don’t like my replies on this forum, you silly silly little man.

I’m not suicidal, but you’re a danger to people who are who visit this forum.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 22, 2021)

Spanner said:


> are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?





Pickman's model said:


> You say that as tho it would be a bad idea



You need to be REALLY careful who you say this to, because you don’t want a suicide on your conscience.


----------



## A380 (Jun 22, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Mate, you’re a self-important prick.
> 
> For all you know I could be suicidal, and yet you matter-of-factly tell me the world would improve if I topped myself.
> 
> ...


Well, that’s Pickman's model telt.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 22, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Mate, you’re a self-important prick.
> 
> For all you know I could be suicidal, and yet you matter-of-factly tell me the world would improve if I topped myself.
> 
> ...


A piece of advice for anyone who actually prone to thoughts of suicide: Avoid trolling internet forums where there is a high likelihood of people telling you to do one in clear and possibly aggressive language.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 22, 2021)

Raheem said:


> A piece of advice for anyone who actually prone to thoughts of suicide: Avoid trolling internet forums where there is a high likelihood of people telling you to do one in clear and possibly aggressive language.


That’s the best advice you can give?

“Don’t visit forums which might drive you to suicide”

Some might call it “obvious”


----------



## Raheem (Jun 22, 2021)

Spanner said:


> That’s the best advice you can give?
> 
> “Don’t visit forums which might drive you to suicide”
> 
> Some might call it “obvious”


It's definitely obvious. Which is how I know a bright fellow like you can't possibly be suicidal. Or you wouldn't be here. So there's no harm at all in telling you to fuck off and stick your dick in an electrical socket.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Does anyone except David Cameron groupies say chillax?



Done enough chilling, got to organise my time. The bollocking Churchill would have given to Cameron and George Gideon Oliver Osborne CH  in private would have been epic to wacth. And as for what William Ewart Gladstone would have raged at 'Sir' Edward Davey the mind simply boggles. Disraeli is spiinning in his grave throwing an absolute Brixton riiot.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

Spanner said:


> are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?



Poor old Spanner. Are you keeping up, old boy?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

The daily abuse of my brother William is getting worse. Starting with some kids calling him paedo and now it's older kids doing worse things. I have commanded him in Oliver Cromwellian fashion to go to the hopeless Plod if it gets as bad as Kristallnacht on the Jews and if necessary move back to the safety of mum's in Petersfield. If he gets murdered like Daniel Morgan I will be raging at his funeral.

Thanks for your legacy, Emperor Caligula Philip Adolf Hitler.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

I have 578 followers at Twitter. The Windsors have 4.6 million. The Shinkansen of the Republic is still held up at a red light like Thomas the Tank Engine. Poor autistic boy Jack I worked with at the National Autsitic Society school in Radlett, Hertfordshire loved Thomas. Only word he ever said - just 'Thomas!' It was hard graft working with them with their screaming and biting and hitting and crying  and spitting and soiling their undewear and failure to say a word and escaping over the walls into the road outside but good for the soul. The Nobel Prize Committee still haven't given me the prize for literature after I wrote to them eight years ago and the dreaded United Nations haven't stepped in with sanctions as I commanded them in Oliver Cromwellian fashion to do.

Then after I had moved back to the safety of my stepdad's in Old Woking I later worked with an autistic boy called Callum in Loseley Fields in Godalming and straightened him out with a severe Clement Attlee  bollocking on day one and got him reading and concentrating and writing and learning. Before I came he used to just cry and scream and run away into the street but with my hard labour the poor boy started to focus and have some fun. Was quite a fan of basketball. He loved computer games so got him reading Wikipedia about games he loved like Mario. And gave him pleny of space to relax and play games and go and play in the playground when it all got too much for him.Tried to get him back plugged in and integrate him with the other kids but it always frazzled his brain and he started kicking off again. Used to enjoy my lunchtmes referering the other boys' football matches.

Then when Callum was on his multiple days off  I was shunted off into the Solar Centre for the most troubled kids and used to be pelted with pens and books and kicked and hit. They all roared with laughter as they laid into us as we tried desperately to hold the lines like the French with their hopeless Maginot Line. It was hard work dealing with it like a riot policeman dealing with the hurricane of a riot. One of my colleagues once called me a "strong man" which I appreciated as I tried desperately to get the kids to sit down and concentrate for eleven seconds before the Rabelais carnival struck up again.

 I remember a particular girl called Georgina who was an absolute nightmare. Absolutely manic laughter as she tore the place down. Don't know what her diagnosis was but she was all over the shop. And there was another girl whose name I can't remember who just used to run around the whole school taking her clothes off while  five of us tried to kettle and contain her. I wanted to bollock her so severely but the bloody SENCO told me I couldn't tell her off which drove me as wild as a lion in the gladiatroial arena in Rome alighting on some poor old Chrisitains.

Poor old teacher Charlotte in the class of Callumm, the Aquila class, was great and taught them really well laying into them with brutal bollockings where needed and being kind to them otherwise. I must say hello to dear old Charlotte when I see her - I think she is a headteacher now. I usually throw riots in all my menial jobs because they are managed by cunts but I had no issues with the headteacher of Loseley Fields Jill Pearce-Haydon who was doing a stirling job in impossible circumstances being given hell by Michael Gove and his dreadful British values curriculum.





__





						Home - Loseley Fields Primary School
					






					www.loseleyfields.com


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

Nice to know you, Queen Elizabeth II. Goodbye.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 22, 2021)

Spanner said:


> You need to be REALLY careful who you say this to, because you don’t want a suicide on your conscience.


Oh I think my conscience could bear the feather-weight of your demise. On second thoughts tho you may be right for the wrong reasons as suicide is famously described as painless while I think you're the sort of person for who providence devised trigeminal neuralgia


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

Off for the day to brush up my Russian by reading Tolstoy and Turgenev and Dostoevsky in Russian. I hope to have a stimualting conversation with Garry Kasparov about chess, politics and literature  if he finally checkmates Putin's control system and becomes Russian President. Kasparov has gone terribly quiet but he's probably still in the game and I pity the poor novice who dares to play a move in the game against possibly the greatest chess player of all time (apart from maybe Magnus Carlsen).


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 22, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Off for the day to brush up my Russian by reading Tolstoy and Turgenev and Dostoevsky in Russian. I hope to have a stimualting conversation with Garry Kasparov about chess, politics and literature  if he finally checkmates Putin's control system and becomes Russian President. Kasparov has gone terribly quiet but he's probably still in the game and I pity the poor novice who dares to play a move in the game against possibly the greatest chess player of all time (apart from maybe Magnus Carlsen).


Morphy the greatest chess player of all time, for me anyway


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Morphy the greatest chess player of all time, for me anyway


I was always a major fan of Petrosian and his highly defensive and cautious strategies and tactics. But then there is Bobby Fischer of course. And Capablanca. So many contenders. I remember getting my rabble of colleagues at Holy Trinity together at Holy Trinity Middle School in Guildford and setting up a chess club run by Mrs Williams who if I recall rightly is the mother of English grandmaster Simon Williams.

We played our hearts out over there at Holy back when we had a great headteacher Barry Garry Larry Williams who protected us from the evils of govenemnt. He looked after my writing and got me a poetry prize and gave me a great poetry book with a gold star on the cover. He was replaced by a guy called Mr.Rowe who would have been on my case for being a bright little kid and called me autistic so I am glad I dodged Rowe. My poor intellgient brother William was less lucky and got seen as an oddball and sent to a PRU unit where he had to cope with terrible bullies and eventually got home schooled by mum for a while.

Then I moved to the private school the Grammar Schiool -not the Royal Grammar School  - that was from the 16th century and Terry Jones of Monty Python went to back when it was a state grammar- on a John Major assisted place because my family couldn't afford the astononimical fees and I felt my task was to fight and stick up for all my state school friends against the arrogance of all the kids from private prep schools stinking of bad money. I remember them all laughing in our first Latin lesson with Mr Olvier at how easy they found it because they had done it before and I thought "we state school kids will outstrip you by a quadrillion miles you arrogant Tory toffs".

And then we did.  We worked hard and we completely outstipped them. That got me to St.Anne's Oxfford through the great history teaching of John Saxton and Alan Wain which got me to exile to Japan where I studied the language hard, passed level 2 of the International Proficiency Test after one year which I was told was impossible at the start of the year, and  quietly bided my time and plotted my revenge on my enemies.









						Simon Williams (chess player) - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Argonia (Jun 22, 2021)

Nice to finally get a chance to mug up on the American Revoluton against the brutal monarchical tyranny of the British Empire. It was touch and go - the British were the most extraodinary military system apart from maybe some of Rome and the Nazis. But eventually Washington crossed the Delware and he long struggle was over and the Declaration of Independence was securred. After that I shall finally read some Tom Paine.


----------



## A380 (Jun 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Oh I think my conscience could bear the feather-weight of your demise. On second thoughts tho you may be right for the wrong reasons as suicide is famously described as painless while I think you're the sort of person for who providence devised trigeminal neuralgia


It brings on many changes apparently. Are you having visions of things that might be, out of interest?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 22, 2021)

A380 said:


> It brings on many changes apparently. Are you having visions of things that might be, out of interest?


I think I need a new spanner. The old one squeaks and scratches


----------



## Spanner (Jun 23, 2021)

Silly bastard reckons Morphy is the best chess player. Lol


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 23, 2021)

any news  ?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 23, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Oh I think my conscience could bear the feather-weight of your demise. On second thoughts tho you may be right for the wrong reasons as suicide is famously described as painless while I think you're the sort of person for who providence devised trigeminal neuralgia


Typical virgin


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 23, 2021)

are you suicidal spanner


seeming as you keep bringing it up


----------



## Spanner (Jun 23, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> are you suicidal spanner
> 
> 
> seeming as you keep bringing it up


Do I? I thought it was just the one denial


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 23, 2021)

no more drugs for you sir


----------



## Spanner (Jun 23, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> no more drugs for you sir


Oh, fuck off…you silly rabbit


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 23, 2021)

trick are for kids


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 23, 2021)




----------



## Spanner (Jun 23, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> trick are for kids


Sorry?


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 23, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Typical virgin



sorry?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 23, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Sorry?


PICKMANS IS A TYPICAL VIRGIN


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 23, 2021)

fuck it i'm out

have fun people


----------



## Spanner (Jun 23, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> fuck it i'm out
> 
> have fun people


See ya


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 23, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> fuck it i'm out


----------



## Argonia (Jun 23, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Sorry?


Spanner you're just clogging up this thread the way the Windsors are clogging up the Republic. Are you one of her crack cocaine smoking obese servants busy having anal sex with rabbits and salamanders and luxury clothes addict Kate Middleton all day long? And have you got round to reading Thomas Middleton's "A Game At Chess" while servicing Duchess of Hearts Kate?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 23, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> any news  ?


Not a peep on the BBC Snooze site. I am losing all patience and thinking it's time to take a leaf out of Blitzkrieg on the poor old Polish cavalry and the French outflanking in the Ardennes forest and drive a column of  frenetic Panzers into Buckingham  Palace for a jolly fun little Kesselschlact. . ACHTUNG! PANZER!

Or shall we finally be civilised and get her bundled into the police van for her trial and prison cell? Where on earth will the agony and trauma finally be over? And the powerhouse Republic finally be released to solve the twin perils of climate change and peak oil?









						Home - BBC News
					

Visit BBC News for up-to-the-minute news, breaking news, video, audio and feature stories. BBC News provides trusted World and UK news as well as local and regional perspectives. Also entertainment, business, science, technology and health news.




					www.bbc.co.uk
				












						Blitzkrieg - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				



#


----------



## Argonia (Jun 23, 2021)

I have given up entirely with wrestling with this problem and have fallen in love with incredible anti-Nazi superstar Marlene Dietrich instead just like all those endless men and women fell in love with her in her extraordinary lifetime. And then there is Joan Crawford and Rita Hayworth and Gene Tierney and Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor and Barbara Eden and Doris Day and Greta Garbo and Helen Mirren and Brigitte Bardo and Ingmar Bergman and Myma Loy and Ingrid Pitt and Janet Suzman nd Sophia Loren and Jean Simmons and Marion Davies and Katherine Hepburn and Rhonda Fleming and Audrey Hepburn  and Fran Drescher Mara Corday and Suzanne Pleschette and Lynda Carter and Carrie Fisher and Carole Lombard and Vivian Leigh and Leslie Caron and in a newer era Scarlett Johansson and Lana Del Rey. and Charlize Theron and Kate Winslet and all the rest. I better not tell my wife or she'll go ballistic again like a V2 rocket surging into London in the twilight collapsing years of the Nazi behemoth!


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 23, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Typical virgin


That's the weakest post I've ever seen on urban. The sort of guff that looks juvenile from a callow fumbling youth.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 23, 2021)

Spanner said:


> See ya


See ya, Dan


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Spanner you're just clogging up this thread the way the Windsors are clogging up the Republic. Are you one of her crack cocaine smoking obese servants busy having anal sex with rabbits and salamanders and luxury clothes addict Kate Middleton all day long? And have you got round to reading Thomas Middleton's "A Game At Chess" while servicing Duchess of Hearts Kate?



No. I don’t smoke crack. Also, I’m neither obese, nor someone’s servant. I’ve never had anal sex (with a rabbit, or a salamander, or Kate Middleton). And thanks for the book recommendation which actually sounds right up my street!


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> See ya, Dan


My name isn’t Dan. I’ve said that before.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> That's the weakest post I've ever seen on urban. The sort of guff that looks juvenile from a callow fumbling youth.


Oh dear.  Pickman’s model doesn’t have a life outside of “on urban” and doesn’t realise that folks who don’t give a shit about their reputation “on urban” just say what they want


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 24, 2021)

Oh dear, dan is posting again

if only he could fuck off to hobbington


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> My name isn’t Dan. I’ve said that before.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 24, 2021)

Calamity1971 said:


> View attachment 275017


I once had occasion to repeatedly call after a child called Dan who was walking too fast. Some people behind me started to titter, and then it clicked.

It was a different Dan, though, not this one.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> Oh dear, dan is posting again
> 
> if only he could “fuck off to hobbington”


I’m enjoying being a minor celebrity called “dan” (not my name).  Also, Hobbington?


----------



## cyril_smear (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Oh dear.  Pickman’s model doesn’t have a life outside of “on urban” and doesn’t realise that folks who don’t give a shit about their reputation “on urban” just say what they want


Correct


----------



## cyril_smear (Jun 24, 2021)

Calamity1971 said:


> View attachment 275017


Get him later


----------



## cyril_smear (Jun 24, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You need to take an hcn pill


That’s low. Really low; even for you.


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I’m enjoying being a minor celebrity called “dan” (not my name).



the old double buff

really dan


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> the old double buff
> 
> really dan



I know you’re trying to get me to say, “I’M NOT DAN, YOU IDIOT … I’M JOHN”…but I’m neither.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I know you’re trying to get me to say, “I’M NOT DAN, YOU IDIOT … I’M JOHN”…but I’m neither.


Yeah, sure John.


----------



## Epona (Jun 24, 2021)

Doodler said:


> Around the time of the Coronation there was excitable talk in the British press about the start of a 'new Elizabethan age'. I bet soon after the Queen has gone the period covered by her reign will be widely referred to as something like that, just as people talk about Victorian and Edwardian times, the Regency etc. *What kind of picture will be painted*?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

Raheem said:


> Yeah, sure John.


Triple bluff… I’m Ringo


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> My name isn’t Dan. I’ve said that before.



That's what they all say, Dan


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> That's what they all say, Dan


That’s what all the non-Dans say. And I should know, being one of them.


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 24, 2021)

bit of an intervention 

but really, stop trying to hard dan


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> That’s what all the non-Dans say. And I should know, being one of them.


 You're desperate, Dan


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> You're desperate, Dan


Desperate for what?


----------



## Ax^ (Jun 24, 2021)

attention mostly

how do you feel about pies?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> bit of an intervention
> 
> but really, stop trying to hard dan



* too


----------



## Spanner (Jun 24, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> attention mostly
> 
> how do you feel about pies?


What kind of question is that? 

I have no feelings about pies.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> have no feelings about pies.


Cow pie?


----------



## Raheem (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Desperate for what?


I'm not a psychiatrist, but there must be something you feel you are getting out of being here.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

Raheem said:


> I'm not a psychiatrist, but there must be something you feel you are getting out of being here.


What on earth would Freud or Adler or Jung or all the rest have made out of poor dear Spanner?





__





						List of figures in psychiatry - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

Now we're a Republic I finally just crack on and concentrate. Currently enjoying George Orwell. I read "1984" and "Homage to Catalonia" as a boy. Thank heavens he didn't die in the fight with the anarchist POUM against Franco - it was a close shave. As it was for Clement Attlee who nearly died in the evil Fiirst World War. I feel so sorry for George the former Etonian in his down and out days in Paris and London yet to meet his fabulous wife Eileen and after her death lovely Sonia (who died penniless in London in 1980) and washing pots and going hungry and teaching English and being surrounded by tramps and criminals. Wrote a novel not a publishing house was interested in and burnt it. If only he hadn't - would have made a fascinating addition to his oeuvre. His English lessons must have been blistering. So glad he didn't die of hunger and poverty.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 24, 2021)

Raheem said:


> I'm not a psychiatrist, but there must be something you feel you are getting out of being here.


Me neither, but coming onto what should be a fun refuge of a thread with their dull, self-centred trolling twaddle does look like an indicator of some form malevolent narcissism.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Me neither, but coming onto what should be a fun refuge of a thread with their dull, self-centred trolling twaddle does look like an indicator of some form malevolent narcissism.


Has dear old Spanner ever read Hermann Hesse's "Narcissus and Goldmund" or carefully studied the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus and Echo?


----------



## brogdale (Jun 24, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Has dear old Spanner ever read Hermann Hesse's "Narcissus and Goldmund" or carefully studied the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus and Echo?


Yeah, round at Murdoch towers that’s practically all they did.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Yeah, round at Murdoch towers that’s practically all they did.


Poor old Murdoch doesn't understand how he's being played off the chessboard. Myspace was a pioneering attempt at social media like the great pioneering railways lines of the early days - thanks to the computer game Railroad Tycoon for educating me on that one - but has gone down the tubes where the dreaded Sun newspaper can go. The evil over Hillsborough and Wapping in 1986 and all the rest has never been forgotten. It can disappear down the trapdoor like News of the World.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

My Daily Fail pop up which I can't turn off for some reason tells me that due to lack of tourists Buck House is £10 million units of Tyrant Coin out of pocket. Such sad news.

From the article:

In all, the monarchy cost the taxpayer £87.5million in 2020/21 – an increase of £18.1million on the previous financial year. This was because of the ramping-up of palace building works.

That's an awful lot of Tyrant Coin. Whilst the poor superhero nurses of the glorious Anuerin Bevan National Health Service slave away - like my cousin in Winchester Ben's wife Isabel who is a hard-pressed midwife. Ben works at the Foresty Commission and is the kindest most decent soul in the world. Has three wild kids he can't keep on the leash.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> No. I don’t smoke crack. Also, I’m neither obese, nor someone’s servant. I’ve never had anal sex (with a rabbit, or a salamander, or Kate Middleton). And thanks for the book recommendation which actually sounds right up my street!


Now you're starting to wake up old boy Spanner. Read every word Middleton wrote, use the wisdom of Dr.Trish Leigh to get off the porn, and leave Pickman's model alone.









						Thomas Middleton - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## ruffneck23 (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I know you’re trying to get me to say, “I’M NOT DAN, YOU IDIOT … I’M JOHN”…but I’m neither.


sure Karen


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 24, 2021)

cyril_smear said:


> That’s low. Really low; even for you.


You say that like your opinion matters


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 24, 2021)

Argonia said:


> What on earth would Freud or Adler or Jung or all the rest have made out of poor dear Spanner?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


A career


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Oh dear.  Pickman’s model doesn’t have a life outside of “on urban” and doesn’t realise that folks who don’t give a shit about their reputation “on urban” just say what they want


Yeh say what you want by all means, from a psychological pov it's very interesting. I'm surprised you don't use the opportunity to say what you want to get some proper digs in tho instead of insults that are utterly anodyne


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

Brilliant. It now looks the Former Regime are getting us nto another crusade against Putin. So we all be packed off to die in the Crimeria. Jolly good show. Well done tyrant and criminal Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.









						'We're being shadowed by a Russian warship'
					

BBC defence correspondent Jonathan Beale reports from the deck of HMS Defender in the Black Sea as it was harassed by Russia's military.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				








__





						Crimerian war - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

At last! ITV News just doing a story right now on the appalling conditions people particularly social tenants are living in while the palace building works are accelerated.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 24, 2021)

Some listening material for Queenie.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 24, 2021)

Spanner said:


> What kind of question is that?
> 
> I have no feelings about pies.


Fuck your feelings


----------



## Spanner (Jun 25, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Yeh say what you want by all means, from a psychological pov it's very interesting. I'm surprised you don't use the opportunity to say what you want to get some proper digs in tho instead of insults that are utterly anodyne


Is that just a long winded way of asking me to slag you off


----------



## Spanner (Jun 25, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Fuck your feelings


Give it a rest.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 25, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Give it a rest.


Have you met Hermione Jack yet


----------



## Spanner (Jun 25, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Have you met Hermione Jack yet


Only since you introduced me to him. I assume it’s a him


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 25, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Only since you introduced me to him. I assume it’s a him



It's complicated


----------



## Spanner (Jun 25, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> It's complicated


Too complicated to explain?


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 25, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Too complicated to explain?



She assassinated Diana


----------



## Argonia (Jun 25, 2021)

Today to keep my morale up in this Interregnum I have fallen in love with Briggite Bardot. She lost her head a bit by marrying a Marine Le Pen lieutenant and having a pop at immigrants in her last days but in her prime was a monster and did good work as an animal rights activitst. I'm not saying a word to my wife about this. I must discuss Bardot if I meet Mark Kermode at some stage who I think is a Republican if I am right.







__





						Mark Kermode - Google Search
					





					www.google.com


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 25, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Is that just a long winded way of asking me to slag you off


You've given it your all and your worst insult is an utter flop. You couldn't insult your way out of a damp paper bag.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 25, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You've given it your all and your worst insult is an utter flop. You couldn't insult your way out of a damp paper bag.


Poor old Spanner hasn't dilligently read all of his Shakespeare and has never fired up the Shakespeare insult generator.





__





						Shakespearean Insults Generator
					

Visit this site dedicated to William Shakespeare including a Shakespearean Insults Generator.Fast and accurate Shakespearean Insults Generator.Have fun with the Shakespearean Insults Generator.



					www.literarygenius.info


----------



## Argonia (Jun 25, 2021)

Brushing up my history of Republics.





__





						List of republics - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Argonia (Jun 25, 2021)

Some listening material for Queenie as her Imperium falls - Gibbon. At Oxford I read about three pages of him and got a bollocking by my tutor Peter Ghosh because I was drunk and depressed and too busy falling in love with women to do any study.







__





						Peter Ghosh - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Spanner (Jun 26, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You've given it your all and your worst insult is an utter flop. You couldn't insult your way out of a damp paper bag.


“Utter flop”, “Damp paper bag”. Usual shite from Mr Anonymous


----------



## Spanner (Jun 26, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> She assassinated Diana


No-one assassinated Diana :-(


----------



## Raheem (Jun 26, 2021)

Spanner said:


> No-one assassinated Diana :-(


Ok, so you subscribe to the secret hospital body-swap theory. I can respect that.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 26, 2021)

Raheem said:


> Ok, so you subscribe to the secret hospital body-swap theory. I can respect that.


Sweet theory. I’ll go with the pissed driver


----------



## Spanner (Jun 26, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You've given it your all and your worst insult is an utter flop. You couldn't insult your way out of a damp paper bag.


Let’s have it then. I reckon I can out-insult you every day of the week. And not only this week, but next week as well.  And the one after that. Et fucking cetera.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 26, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Poor old Spanner hasn't dilligently read all of his Shakespeare and has never fired up the Shakespeare insult generator.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


In the absence of Pickmans, who we all knew would be a “no show” … you’re absolutely right, I haven’t read every Shakespeare play. As you say…Poor old me! I assume you have, though, and well done for that.


----------



## NoXion (Jun 26, 2021)

I like big buses.


----------



## tim (Jun 26, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> for what?
> she can't be arrested anyway


That's what Charles I thought until they arrested him, then tried him, and finally decapitated him.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 26, 2021)

NoXion said:


> I like big buses.


And I cannot lie.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 26, 2021)

Spanner said:


> No-one assassinated Diana :-(


They got you then?



Spanner said:


> 2 assassinations and 1 world war. Of course they got bigger numbers than the 99 y/o dying of natural causes.


So you were then asked what assassinations were you on about.

To which you replied 



Spanner said:


> Mountbatten and Diana


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 26, 2021)

Spanner said:


> In the absence of Pickmans, who we all knew would be a “no show” … you’re absolutely right, I haven’t read every Shakespeare play. As you say…Poor old me! I assume you have, though, and well done for that.


One of us has a life outside urban. And it clearly isn't you.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 26, 2021)

Spanner said:


> “Utter flop”, “Damp paper bag”. Usual shite from Mr Anonymous


Pisspoor


----------



## keybored (Jun 26, 2021)

Spanner said:


> My name isn’t Dan. I’ve said that before.


Your name's not Dan; you're not coming in.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 26, 2021)

More listening material for Queenie and her lackey Spanner - John Locke who rightly argued that absolute monarchy is illegitimate. Important in the 1688 Glorious Revolution and the 1689 Bill of Rights which still had a monarchy (from the industrious and flourishing Dutch who had thrown off the Spanish yoke)  but not the Jacobite one that trampled over Parliament as Charles Stuart had done. Jeremy Corbyn and Tony Benn made the most interesting comments on the Glorious Revolution in the debate in Parliament.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 26, 2021)

One for Spanner to translate. How's his French these days?

Pourquoi la reine d’Angleterre parle un anglais bizarre ?​


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 26, 2021)

Argonia said:


> One for Spanner to translate. How's his French these days?
> 
> Pourquoi la reine d’Angleterre parle un anglais bizarre ?​



It's as good as his English sadly


----------



## brogdale (Jun 26, 2021)

putain de troll ennuyeux


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 26, 2021)

Any news?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 27, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Any news?


Not a peep as usual. They are leading on poor old Saljid Javid who thinks he has a nice job but can schlepp off to the JobCentre Plus if he escapes prison or Pickman's Model's penguins in South Georgia. It would be such a terrible shame if he got sanctioned like the million disabled.









						Home - BBC News
					

Visit BBC News for up-to-the-minute news, breaking news, video, audio and feature stories. BBC News provides trusted World and UK news as well as local and regional perspectives. Also entertainment, business, science, technology and health news.




					www.bbc.co.uk
				












						More than a million benefits sanctions imposed on disabled people since 2010
					

Groundbreaking Demos study reveals ‘culture of disbelief’ about disability among jobcentre staff leads to money being docked




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Argonia (Jun 27, 2021)

Spanner's got terribly quiet.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 27, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Spanner's got terribly quiet.



It's good to torque


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 27, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Spanner's got terribly quiet.



He finds he goes round in circles


----------



## Argonia (Jun 27, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> He finds he goes round in circles


Circles of hell in Dante's "Inferno"


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 27, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Circles of hell in Dante's "Inferno"


It's wicked to mock the afflicted


----------



## Spanner (Jun 28, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> One of us has a life outside urban. And it clearly isn't you.


You’ve posted on this “urban” forum 197k+ times.

197,000. PLUS.

….lol. You spend every waking hour here.

Mind you, those 197k posts have been spread out since 2003, so to be fair that’s only 11,000 posts per year or approximately 30 POSTS EVERY DAY WITHOUT FAIL FOR THE PAST 18 YEARS.

Obvious how you might think I’m the one without “a life” outside of some bloody forum


----------



## brogdale (Jun 28, 2021)

What’s this got to do with the queen dying?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 28, 2021)

Spanner said:


> You’ve posted on this “urban” forum 197k+ times.
> 
> 197,000. PLUS.
> 
> ...


How long out of your 'life' did that take to work out ?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 28, 2021)

brogdale said:


> What’s this got to do with the queen dying?


Maybe he's implying it's only Pickman's model s posts keeping her going !


----------



## Spanner (Jun 28, 2021)

Calamity1971 said:


> How long out of your 'life' did that take to work out ?


5 minutes. It’s not a difficult calculation, but when you look at it…it feels, I mean…who’s life allows them that sort of time to spend alone bullshitting? I assume there’s no wife or kids involved.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 28, 2021)

Spanner said:


> 5 minutes


Was it worth it?
11 minutes after you first posted then edited


----------



## brogdale (Jun 28, 2021)

Some say...when the last troll flies the thread...London Bridge is down.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 28, 2021)

Calamity1971 said:


> Was it worth it?
> 11 minutes after you first posted then edited



Wow. Imagine taking 11 minutes to spot an error and correct it. What a knob!

[edit 35 mins later: Note to self: you must do better next time to say exactly what you wanted to the first time, just how these people always do]


----------



## Spanner (Jun 28, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Some say...when the last troll flies the thread...London Bridge is down.


 No-one has ever said that outside this forum. Which brings me back to my point, which you probably don’t want me to spell out again in numerical detail.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 28, 2021)

Spanner said:


> No-one has ever said that outside this forum. Which brings me back to my point, which you probably don’t want me to spell out again in numerical detail.



Why did you assasinate Diana, Dan?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

Spanner said:


> You’ve posted on this “urban” forum 197k+ times.
> 
> 197,000. PLUS.
> 
> ...



Spanner you haven't done as I commanded and shut your mouth before you read every single word that Thomas Middleton wrote. And throw in the collected works of Shakespeare. Read them and think using your brain for the first time in your life and then come back to say something constructive.

DO AS YOU ARE FUCKING TOLD


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

brogdale said:


> What’s this got to do with the queen dying?


Nothing whatsoever. We have a job to do making the Republic and Spanner is getting in the way of a good discussion.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

Nobel Prize for Literature wiinner Kenzaburo Oe 大江 健三郎 (who was once assaulted by a far right winger - the same sort of scum that killed the leader of the Socialist Party) turned down the Order of Culture in Japan because it came from the Emperor - and said "I do not recognize any authority, any value, higher than democracy."  How's Spanner's Japanese these days?









						Kenzaburō Ōe - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				












						大江健三郎 - 维基百科，自由的百科全书
					






					zh.wikipedia.org


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 28, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Nobel Prize for Literature wiinner Kenzaburo Oe 大江 健三郎 (who was once assaulted by a far right winger - the same sort of scum that killed the leader of the Socialist Party) turned down the Order of Culture in Japan because it came from the Emperor - and said "I do not recognize any authority, any value, higher than democracy."  How's Spanner's Japanese these days?
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Mine's dreadful but A Personal Matter, is the only one of his books that have read. It was downbeat.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Mine's dreadful but A Personal Matter, is the only one of his books that have read. It was downbeat.


I'm only just starting with his oeuvre. I am so glad the right winger didn't murder him like Inijeiro Asanuma who was killed live on television. I remember seeing the far right Uyoku Dantai in vans with loudspeakers in Japan and thinking what bad news they were for a gaijin or foreigner like me. Japan has always had a major problem with the Emperor worshipping far right. Including the writer Yukio Mishima whose work I found fascinating but who ended up committing ritual suicide after he tried to take power.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 28, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I'm only just starting with his oeuvre. I am so glad the right winger didn't murder him like Inijeiro Asanuma who was killed live on television. I remember seeing the far right Uyoku Dantai in vans with loudspeakers in Japan and thinking what bad news they were for a gaijin or foreigner like me. Japan has always had a major problem with the Emperor worshipping far right.



Have not had any major problems (yet) apart from a few elderly blokes giving me looks and muttering at me. Oh, one guy yelled "fucking" at me, whatever that was meant to mean. But a few mates here have had worse.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Have not had any major problems (yet) apart from a few elderly blokes giving me looks and muttering at me. Oh, one guy yelled "fucking" at me, whatever that was meant to mean. But a few mates here have had worse.


You're in Japan? I was treated beautifully by the people there and was seen almost as a kind of a rockstar with everyone staring at me in the street. I only had one time in a bar when a guy starting laying into me in Japanese which was hard to understand. And another time I met an American soldier in a bar and he said "we saved your assess twice" and I wanted to debate him on history but felt he was much bigger and stronger than me so left it be.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 28, 2021)

Argonia said:


> You're in Japan? I was treated beautifully by the people there and was seen almost as a kind of a rockstar with everyone staring at me in the street. I only had one time in a bar when a guy starting laying into me in Japanese which was hard to understand. And another time I met an American soldier in a bar and he said "we saved your assess twice" and I wanted to debate him on history but felt he was much bigger and stronger than me so left it be.



That rockstar thing doesn't really happen, tbf. Unless, of course, you are one 

People in the big cities don't really bat an eyelid at foreigners, although kids will play up in front of me when am in the supermarket in the burbs. Most grief I've had have been from right wing Americans (and mostly online).


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> That rockstar thing doesn't really happen, tbf. Unless, of course, you are one
> 
> People in the big cities don't really bat an eyelid at foreigners, although kids will play up in front of me when am in the supermarket in the burbs. Most grief I've had have been from right wing Americans (and mostly online).


I was out in the sticks in a place called Asakuragaido where the Daiichi Keizai economics university dorm was. A backwater of Fukuoka which is itself a bit of a 'nonbirishitekiru tokoro' or rural backwater. Surrounded by paddy fields. So when the local kids saw me they couldn't believe their eyes and were fascinated. And not ina a bad way or aggressive way like the Imperial Japanese Army under Hirohito treated the poor old British POWs By the time I got to Tokyo I was accepted and not noticed so much of course.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 28, 2021)

Spanner said:


> No-one has ever said that outside this forum.


Not the sharpest tool.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 28, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Why did you assasinate Diana, Dan?


Yes, spanner ass-ass-inated her 

He farted her to death

Or farted Henri Paul to death which amounts to the same thing


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 28, 2021)

Spanner said:


> 5 minutes. It’s not a difficult calculation, but when you look at it…it feels, I mean…who’s life allows them that sort of time to spend alone bullshitting? I assume there’s no wife or kids involved.


Indeed no, all those posts are mine, the wife and kids have their own usernames.

As for whose life allows it, if you read my posts perhaps you'd find out


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 28, 2021)

.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 28, 2021)

Spanner said:


> You’ve posted on this “urban” forum 197k+ times.
> 
> 197,000. PLUS.
> 
> ...


Only someone obsessed with this forum would take such a prurient interest in the lives of its members


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Mine's dreadful but A Personal Matter, is the only one of his books that have read. It was downbeat.


If your Japanese needs improvement I can't recommend Nihongo no Mori highly enough. Two Japanese women in Vietnam who go through sentences and do exercises all in Japanese. High level and not that easy to follow (no English at all) but it's good practise. They are flooded with people writing in in the chat in Japanese so are doing a busy trade over there.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 28, 2021)

@RepublicStaff have 29,500 followers at Twitter.As I said at the Prince Andrew thread I applied for a job with them and handed in a 26 page document but they didn't give me the job and I had to go back to cleaning churches for a living and writing on the side. Their man Graham Smith has 3,504.

@GrahamSmith_


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Pisspoor


 come on, man, 200k is looming. What an achievement for you! Inside a small, closed comm


Argonia said:


> Spanner you haven't done as I commanded and shut your mouth before you read every single word that Thomas Middleton wrote. And throw in the collected works of Shakespeare. Read them and think using your brain for the first time in your life and then come back to say something constructive.
> 
> DO AS YOU ARE FUCKING TOLD


nup


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Why did you assasinate Diana, Dan?


My name’s not Dan.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Not the sharpest tool.


Not all tools need to be sharp. Minds do, though, and mine is.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Indeed no, all those posts are mine, the wife and kids have their own usernames.
> 
> As for whose life allows it, if you read my posts perhaps you'd find out


It’s a wonderful life where a man, his wife and his children can be so proud spending so many hours every day for years on end posting on a South London based forum.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> It’s a wonderful life where a man, his wife and his children can be so proud spending so many hours every day for years on end posting on a South London based forum.


Reminds me of the Ingalls


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> It’s a wonderful life where a man, his wife and his children can be so proud spending so many hours every day for years on end posting on a South London based forum.



Man's got to have a hobby, Dan


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Only someone obsessed with this forum would take such a prurient interest in the lives of its members


Surely even you can see the irony in THAT post!


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Man's got to have a hobby, Dan


My name’s not Dan


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> My name’s not Dan



That's what they want you to think, Dan


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Man's got to have a hobby, Dan





krtek a houby said:


> That's what they want you to think, Dan



Say something meaningful or piss off…Dan


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 29, 2021)

.


krtek a houby said:


> That's what they want you to think, Dan


Dan's in Danial.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Say something meaningful or piss off…Dan



That's very meta ironic, Dan


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> That's very meta ironic, Dan


You’re acting very moronic.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> You’re acting very moronic.



Classic Dan


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 29, 2021)




----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Calamity1971 said:


> .
> 
> Dan's in Danial.


Only Dan’s can be in Danial. My name is not and has never been Dan.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Oh right.

Dan seems to be some kind of meta character who embodies the forum villain.

Even so, I’m not called Dan, so all you’re doing is insulting people called by a different name to me…who I couldn’t care less about anyway.

You need to think this through a bit more.


----------



## eatmorecheese (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Oh right. Maybe Dan is some kind of meta character who encapsulates the forum villain. How very adult.  Even so, I’m not called Dan, so all you’re doing is insulting people called by a different name to me…which I couldn’t care less about


No. You are right. You are SPANNER.

Loud and proud. Big ups


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Not all tools need to be sharp. Minds do, though, and mine is.


You appear slow to grasp what this thread is about.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> You appear slow to grasp what this thread is about.


Dead queen?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

eatmorecheese said:


> No. You are right. You are SPANNER.
> 
> Loud and proud. Big ups


Why the CAPS son?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 29, 2021)

.


Spanner said:


> Dead queen?


She's not dead Dan


----------



## Raheem (Jun 29, 2021)

Spaniel to his mum.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Dead queen?


Espers?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> You appear slow to grasp what this thread is about.


Fill me in then. It seems like a bunch of idiots shouting “Dan, Dan” at me like a bad Partridge


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Espers?


Weed tree?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 29, 2021)

Raheem said:


> Spaniel to his mum.


Disappointment to his dad.


----------



## eatmorecheese (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Why the CAPS son?


Emphasis, dad. Sorry, Dan.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

eatmorecheese said:


> Emphasis, dad. Sorry, Dan.


Don’t tell me Dan = Dad


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

Has the queen died?


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

Go away?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Don’t tell me Dan = Dad


Fucking hell, I’ll have a field day


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Humberto said:


> Go away?


Humberto has entered the chat


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

So?


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Weed tree?


Sex wrong; II


----------



## eatmorecheese (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Don’t tell me Dan = Dad


Precisely. You the daddy.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

eatmorecheese said:


> Precisely. You the daddy.


Ok


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Humberto said:


> So?


Don’t try to bully me mate. So? So where’s your buddy Pickmans?


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Don’t try to bully me mate. So? So where’s your buddy Pickmans?



I'm not bullying you and you well know it


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Humberto said:


> I'm not bullying you and you well know it


Do I know it from your previous polite behaviour towards me? How do I “well know it”?


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

You want to stay then?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Humberto said:


> I'm not bullying you and you well know it






Humberto said:


> You want to stay then?



 Could. Not. Give. A. Toss. Either. Way.


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

Too clever is it?


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

If you act like a dickhead and cry bully every 2 minutes you will rightly just get laughed at. You contribute nothing.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Humberto said:


> Too clever is it?


 Not at all. Be as clever as you like, Humberto!


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

It's a bit pointless and dull.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Humberto said:


> If you act like a dickhead and cry bully every 2 minutes you will rightly just get laughed at. You contribute nothing.


I had apparently every online member calling me “Dan” after every post I made. Wouldn’t you call that bullying?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I had apparently every online member calling me “Dan” after every post I made. Wouldn’t you call that bullying?


I guess you’ll say no


----------



## Humberto (Jun 29, 2021)

no


----------



## Raheem (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I had apparently every online member calling me “Dan” after every post I made. Wouldn’t you call that bullying?


No, Dan.

But if you feel you are being bullied, you should just walk away.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 29, 2021)

Raheem said:


> No, Dan.
> 
> But if you feel you are being bullied, you should just walk away.


just walk away from the little shitbags who think they’re harder than me?
nope


----------



## Raheem (Jun 29, 2021)

Yes, I guess it would be hard to look yourself in the mirror if you hadn't indefinitely wasted your time on an internet forum where everyone calls you Dan and wants you to go away.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> just walk away from the little shitbags who think they’re harder than me?
> nope



How "hard" are you, Dan?


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I had apparently every online member calling me “Dan” after every post I made. Wouldn’t you call that bullying?



Half a dozen posters is hardly "every" member.

Suggest you stop complaining and moaning about the site and the posters, or just go.

Remain or leave, Dan.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

Have the mods been alerted to Spanner's abject nonsense?


----------



## cyberpink (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> just walk away from the little shitbags who think they’re harder than me?
> nope


I'm most likely harder than you are Dan. I mean that in the sleaziest way possible.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Don’t try to bully me mate. So? So where’s your buddy Pickmans?


_Troll as victim: _the penultimate pre-ban iteration.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jun 29, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Half a dozen posters is hardly "every" member.
> 
> Suggest you stop complaining and moaning about the site and the posters, or just go.
> 
> Remain or leave, Dan.


Oh the irony.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> _Troll as victim: _the penultimate pre-ban iteration.


Pre-ban Dan


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Pre-ban Dan


Watch out; he’s hard. 😂


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Watch out; he’s hard. 😂


Autobahn Dan


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Autobahn Dan


I'm sure Spanner would have loved being a worker on the Autobahn in Hitler's Germany or the Autostrade under Mussolini.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Don’t try to bully me mate. So? So where’s your buddy Pickmans?


you know Im pretty convinved you are  Marty1 but after reading this, I'm not so sure it's not Martyr1


----------



## xenon (Jun 29, 2021)

This is the worst thread on urban. Just, embarrassing.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

xenon said:


> This is the worst thread on urban. Just, embarrassing.


What's your problem, caller?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> Not all tools need to be sharp. Minds do, though, and mine is.


Yeh your mind is rather out of tune


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 29, 2021)

xenon said:


> This is the worst thread on urban. Just, embarrassing.


The worst thread on urban is the trans / terf one


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 29, 2021)

Spanner said:


> My name’s not Dan


You protest too much


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> The worst thread on urban is the trans / terf one


Never read a word of it Pickman's model. Steered well clear.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You protest too much











						The lady doth protest too much, methinks - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

Well done Barbados leaving the Death Star.









						Barbados Is Ready to Say Goodbye to the Queen
					

This year, it plans to become a republic—here’s why, and what that means for others in the region.




					foreignpolicy.com


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 29, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Well done Barbados leaving the Death Star.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yeah, under pressure from China and without a referendum.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Yeah, under pressure from China and without a referendum.


OK so let them have a referendum then.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

xenon said:


> This is the worst thread on urban.


Great title for a thread, tbh.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

xenon said:


> This is the worst thread on urban. Just, embarrassing.


In my view this is by far the best thread on Urban. It's where all the action is. It's a megablast.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 29, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Well done Barbados leaving the Death Star.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Another tactic to distance Sir Cliff  from the trial he surely deserves


----------



## Argonia (Jun 29, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Another tactic to distance Sir Cliff  from the trial he surely deserves


As Pickman's model would put it - and still Sir Cliff roams the earth.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 29, 2021)

Looks at clock....dreary sense of foreboding...


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 30, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Yeah, under pressure from China and without a referendum.



Independence, though.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 30, 2021)

Raheem said:


> you know Im pretty convinved you are  Marty1 but after reading this, I'm not so sure it's not Martyr1


Neither Marty1, nor Martyr1. Or Dan.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 30, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Looks at clock....dreary sense of foreboding...


----------



## Raheem (Jun 30, 2021)

Raheem is pretty sure it wasn't him who said:
			
		

> you know Im pretty convinved you are Marty1 but after reading this, I'm not so sure it's not Martyr1


----------



## Spanner (Jun 30, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> View attachment 276031


Lol.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 30, 2021)

Oh no


----------



## Spanner (Jun 30, 2021)

No, it wasn’t your quote, Raheem. My fault.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 30, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Oh no


It could be worse :-(


----------



## brogdale (Jun 30, 2021)

So...has the queen died?


----------



## Raheem (Jun 30, 2021)

brogdale said:


> So...has the queen died?


It is, isn't it?


----------



## Spanner (Jun 30, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Half a dozen posters is hardly "every" member.
> 
> Suggest you stop complaining and moaning about the site and the posters, or just go.
> 
> Remain or leave, Dan.


I said every “online” member.


----------



## Spanner (Jun 30, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> The worst thread on urban is the trans / terf one


306.768


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 30, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I said every “online” member.



Don't believe you, Dan.

You also did a U-turn on your Diana assassinated claims.

So you'll understand that anything you say is met with scepticism.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 30, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Watch out; he’s hard. 😂



Meh, Brenda's poop is harder than he is


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Meh, Brenda's poop is harder than he is


I never knew why she was called Brenda until checking Wikipedia and finding out it was a desperate bid to be down with the poor old oppressed working classses. King Philip was Keith - pretty much the same as Sir Keir Starmaggedon. 37 million people watched it. They tried to ban it but now it's on YouTube for the oppressed working classes to watch at their leisure.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

@RepublicStaff are crowdfunding for billboards. They are still using the pound sterling and are £88 short of £10,000.

crowdfunder.co.uk/republic
https://twitter.com/RepublicStaff/status/1409795978060775424/photo/1


----------



## BillRiver (Jun 30, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I never knew why she was called Brenda until checking Wikipedia and finding out it was a desperate bid to be down with the poor old oppressed working classses. King Philip was Keith - pretty much the same as Sir Keir Starmaggedon. 37 million people watched it. They tried to ban it but now it's on YouTube for the oppressed working classes to watch at their leisure.




Do you have a link to the actual, original, film?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

BillRiver said:


> Do you have a link to the actual, original, film?


Good point. I don't really. I had a furious Shinkansen speed search into YouTube but didn't track it down.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 30, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I never knew why she was called Brenda until checking Wikipedia and finding out it was a desperate bid to be down with the poor old oppressed working classses. King Philip was Keith - pretty much the same as Sir Keir Starmaggedon. 37 million people watched it. They tried to ban it but now it's on YouTube for the oppressed working classes to watch at their leisure.



I check Wikipedia, and the curious thing is that it claims Diana was in the film and dubbed "Cheryl". Seemed unlikely for 1969, so I checked the New York Times, which WP took as its source, and there it was in black and white.


----------



## belboid (Jun 30, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I never knew why she was called Brenda until checking Wikipedia and finding out it was a desperate bid to be down with the poor old oppressed working classses. King Philip was Keith - pretty much the same as Sir Keir Starmaggedon. 37 million people watched it. They tried to ban it but now it's on YouTube for the oppressed working classes to watch at their leisure.



It was a private eye joke after the film had been released, not the film itself.  They carried on the ‘tradition’, thus making Diana into Cheryl


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

belboid said:


> It was a private eye joke after the film had been released, not the film itself.  They carried on the ‘tradition’, thus making Diana into Cheryl


Good old Private Eye. Haven't read it for years. Me and my mate Pixie Malone did a satirical scandal sheet called Public Ear at school on the Apple Macs in the computer room. Sold like hotcakes.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 30, 2021)

belboid said:


> It was a private eye joke after the film had been released, not the film itself.  They carried on the ‘tradition’, thus making Diana into Cheryl


Ah, OK. Wikipedia not very clear on that, though.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

belboid said:


> It was a private eye joke after the film had been released, not the film itself.  They carried on the ‘tradition’, thus making Diana into Cheryl


----------



## stavros (Jun 30, 2021)

belboid said:


> It was a private eye joke after the film had been released, not the film itself.  They carried on the ‘tradition’, thus making Diana into Cheryl



I think they only did Brenda, Keith, Brian and Cheryl, although they might've done the Queen Mum too. They only use Brenda and Brian regularly now, even before Keith snuffed it.


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

stavros said:


> I think they only did Brenda, Keith, Brian and Cheryl, although they might've done the Queen Mum too. They only use Brenda and Brian regularly now, even before Keith snuffed it.


I love Private Eye and find it a forensic and funny examination of tyranny and corruption but felt under Hislop it had been a bit conservative and was basically playing the same tune without adapting particularly to the internet revolution. But I don't want to be hard on Hislop as he has done great work.


----------



## Dogsauce (Jun 30, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I never knew why she was called Brenda until checking Wikipedia and finding out it was a desperate bid to be down with the poor old oppressed working classses. King Philip was Keith - pretty much the same as Sir Keir Starmaggedon. 37 million people watched it. They tried to ban it but now it's on YouTube for the oppressed working classes to watch at their leisure.



O/T, but I knocked down the building briefly shown at 17-18 seconds a number of years back, who can tell me what it is(was)?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

Dogsauce said:


> O/T, but I knocked down the building briefly shown at 17-18 seconds a number of years back, who can tell me what it is(was)?


Eh Dogsauce ? You knocked down the building?


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

Dogsauce said:


> O/T, but I knocked down the building briefly shown at 17-18 seconds a number of years back, who can tell me what it is(was)?


Would you care to get the JCB out and demolish Buckingham Palace and Windsor? Or shall we nationalise them and give them to the homeless on the Finnish model?









						Historic Royal Palaces - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

As well as the urban holdings the Crown holds 1,960,000 acres of land ripe for nationalisation and redistribution. Jeremy Corbyn can have an allotment the size of Buckinghamshire to grow endless courgettes to feed Marcus Rashford's ravenous school children. That way we can avoid another Daniel Pelka trying to eat out of the bins at school.









						Crown Estate - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				












						Land reform - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				












						Starved boy Daniel Pelka 'invisible' to professionals
					

Chances were missed to help Daniel Pelka, who was murdered by his mother and her partner after a "terrifying" ordeal of starvation and abuse, a report finds.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Argonia (Jun 30, 2021)

Republic now have over £10,700! for their billboards. 









						MORE billboards to #AbolishTheMonarchy
					

Change the debate about the monarchy with a huge billboard campaign up and down the country.




					www.crowdfunder.co.uk


----------



## Dogsauce (Jun 30, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Eh Dogsauce ? You knocked down the building?


Contract manager for the demolition. Salvaged a few things out of it. A big bitey crane thing smashed up most of it.


----------



## Spanner (Jul 1, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Meh, Brenda's poop is harder than he is


:-D


----------



## Spanner (Jul 1, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You protest too much


I suppose you’d let it lie


----------



## Argonia (Jul 1, 2021)

Dogsauce said:


> Contract manager for the demolition. Salvaged a few things out of it. A big bitey crane thing smashed up most of it.


I think we should house the homeless in Buck House to take a leaf out of Finland's book and sort out the 200,000 core homeless Crisis have identified but if not then demolishing is heroic work.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 1, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I suppose you’d let it lie


Spanner you're increasingly running out of things to say, aren't you? How's the study of Shakespeare's collected works going for you over there?


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 1, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Spanner you're increasingly running out of things to say, aren't you? How's the study of Shakespeare's collected works going for you over there?




Always used to confuse John Cage with John Cale and Jon Cale with JJ Cale


----------



## Argonia (Jul 1, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Always used to confuse John Cage with John Cale and Jon Cale with JJ Cale


Had same difficulties


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 1, 2021)

Spanner said:


> I suppose you’d let it lie


We've let you lie and lie


----------



## Argonia (Jul 1, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> We've let you lie and lie











						Dulce et Decorum Est by Wilfred Owen | Poetry Foundation
					

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,




					www.poetryfoundation.org


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 1, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Dulce et Decorum Est by Wilfred Owen | Poetry Foundation
> 
> 
> Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
> ...


Judging their age by their posts Spanner is the Old Lie


----------



## Dogsauce (Jul 1, 2021)

Dogsauce said:


> O/T, but I knocked down the building briefly shown at 17-18 seconds a number of years back, who can tell me what it is(was)?


(Former Regal/ABC cinema in the middle of Hull if anyone cares, there’s also a famous photo of the Beatles leaning out of one of the side windows when they played there - have a vague memory that that window was going to be saved for a museum or something but can’t remember if that actually happened)


----------



## Argonia (Jul 1, 2021)

I feel dirty about posting the Daily Express but their take is quite interesting.









						Plot to remove Queen as monarch raises £10,000 in 24hours
					

A PLOT to oust the Queen from the throne and spark an end to the British monarchy has raised over £10,000 in just 24 hours.




					www.express.co.uk


----------



## Argonia (Jul 1, 2021)

Dogsauce said:


> (Former Regal/ABC cinema in the middle of Hull if anyone cares, there’s also a famous photo of the Beatles leaning out of one of the side windows when they played there - have a vague memory that that window was going to be saved for a museum or something but can’t remember if that actually happened)


My stepgrandfather studied maths at Hull in the 1950s. Have never been but would like to visit.


----------



## BillRiver (Jul 1, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I feel dirty about posting the Daily Express but their take is quite interesting.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



The actual crowdfunder/fundraiser is here:

Billboards to #EndTheMonarchy

It's part of this campaign:

Republic


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 1, 2021)

BillRiver said:


> The actual crowdfunder/fundraiser is here:
> 
> Billboards to #EndTheMonarchy
> 
> ...


Have they enough for a guillotine yet?


----------



## brogdale (Jul 1, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Have they enough for a guillotine yet?


Have to be careful what we say, publicly, about the guillotine plans; remember when Chris Knight & pals were preemptively arrested on pre-crime charges for simply having a mock one.   

http://www.chrisknight.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/Arrest-for-Attempted-Street-theatre.pdf


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 1, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Have to be careful what we say, publicly, about the guillotine plans; remember when Chris Knight & pals were preemptively arrested on pre-crime charges for simply having a mock one.
> 
> http://www.chrisknight.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/Arrest-for-Attempted-Street-theatre.pdf


i remember being on the rainy anti-monarchy march in 1998 where a guillotine was wheeled from hyde park to whitehall

sadly no royal parasites presented themselves to test the mechanism


----------



## Argonia (Jul 1, 2021)

BillRiver said:


> The actual crowdfunder/fundraiser is here:
> 
> Billboards to #EndTheMonarchy
> 
> ...


Thanks BillRiver


----------



## Argonia (Jul 2, 2021)

It's starting to melt like the walls in an acid trip. The BBC Twitter has liked a post saying the Diana statue is 'hideous'









						BBC Radio 4’s Twitter account likes comment that new Princess Diana statue is ‘hideous’
					

BBC Radio 4's official Twitter account has preferred a remark saying the brand new Princess Diana statue is 'hideous'.It reacted




					entertainmentnewsflash.com


----------



## Argonia (Jul 2, 2021)

Jolly good show our Canadian friends toppling statues of Queen Victoria and Queen Elizabeth II!









						Queen Victoria and Elizabeth II statues toppled in Canada amid anger at deaths of Indigenous children
					

Statues brought down as part of protests at treatment of Indigenous children in notorious residential schools




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Argonia (Jul 2, 2021)

Got a nice message back from Canada Republic and New Zealand Republic at Twitterr. Haven't got to the Aussies yet.

@CanRepublic
@nzrepublic


----------



## Argonia (Jul 2, 2021)

22,000 at the Australian Republic twitter

@AusRepublic


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 2, 2021)

She’s really been having a blast since Philip died hasn’t she? Never a dour look any more, always chortling.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jul 2, 2021)

The merry widow.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 2, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> She’s really been having a blast since Philip died hasn’t she? Never a dour look any more, always chortling.




She knows she'll be joining him soon


----------



## Dogsauce (Jul 3, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> She’s really been having a blast since Philip died hasn’t she? Never a dour look any more, always chortling.


It‘s just the sherry, a sticking plaster on the darkness of the soul.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 3, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> The merry widow.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 3, 2021)

Dogsauce said:


> It‘s just the sherry, a sticking plaster on the darkness of the soul.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 3, 2021)




----------



## Argonia (Jul 3, 2021)

BBC Radio 4 - Book of the Week, Deaf Republic
					

Ilya Kaminsky's astonishing new poem, The Deaf Republic, recreated for radio.




					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Argonia (Jul 3, 2021)

Dogsauce said:


> It‘s just the sherry, a sticking plaster on the darkness of the soul.


I understand the Queen Mother had a daily intake of at least 8 units of alcohol





__





						lordsofthedrinks.com
					

This domain may be for sale!



					lordsofthedrinks.com


----------



## Elpenor (Jul 3, 2021)

Probably helped pass the day when fuck all to do except eat swan


----------



## kenny g (Jul 3, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I understand the Queen Mother had a daily intake of at least 8 units of alcohol
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Surprised it was so little. Easily done if you are an alcoholic and indulge in spirits washed down with beer and wine.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 4, 2021)

I can confirm that cinema genius Mark Kermode is a Republican. He wants the merry widow to star in the film of his life. I am sure she would be a great performer.









						It's Only a Movie by Mark Kermode | Book review
					

Phil Daoust wants to know more about a critic's experiences beyond the cinema




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Argonia (Jul 4, 2021)

British Republicans. I would be on there if I finally had a Wikipedia entry.





__





						Category:British republicans - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 4, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You protest too much


Say what you like about Spanner. But atleast he doesn't hide behind 'being on the spectrum' and 'being an anarchist' regarding his nonsense on here. Truly pathetic and the behaviour of an utter arsehole.

And don't expect me to ever delete or retract this comment you sad cunt.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 4, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> Say what you like about Spanner. But atleast he doesn't hide behind 'being on the spectrum' and 'being an anarchist' regarding his nonsense on here. Truly pathetic and the behaviour of an utter arsehole.


seems to have disappeared


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 4, 2021)

Argonia said:


> seems to have disappeared


That's because some of us have better things to do than waste time on this site all day every day, unlike those who do so, some of whom are just sad, vindictive, attention seeking, immature twats who are also no doubt pathetic inadequates in their offline lives and constantly need the approval and attention of others.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Jul 4, 2021)

Fuck me Argonia won't you give it a rest? Thread after thread with your stream of consciousness havoc and videos and links not related to the thread topic but people's answers. It's getting exhausting.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 4, 2021)

S☼I said:


> Fuck me Argonia won't you give it a rest? Thread after thread with your stream of consciousness havoc and videos and links not related to the thread topic but people's answers. It's getting exhausting.


Nope


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> Say what you like about Spanner. But atleast he doesn't hide behind 'being on the spectrum' and 'being an anarchist' regarding his nonsense on here. Truly pathetic and the behaviour of an utter arsehole.
> 
> And don't expect me to ever delete or retract this comment you sad cunt.


I wouldn't expect you to retract this comment. But I am absolutely bewildered by the agitation my rather innocuous post provoked in you. I have never hidden behind being on the spectrum, indeed I've never made such a claim. Not being on the spectrum you see. Maybe you could tell me why you feel this rather than eg my post about spanner's parents looking at him and wishing they'd used contraception has aroused such anger in you


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> That's because some of us have better things to do than waste time on this site all day every day, unlike those who do so, some of whom are just sad, vindictive, attention seeking, immature twats who are also no doubt pathetic inadequates in their offline lives and constantly need the approval and attention of others.


Like what? What better things do you do with your time?


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 4, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> And don't expect me to ever delete or retract this comment you sad cunt.



Followed by:

Last edited: Yesterday at 10:30 PM


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2021)

S☼I said:


> Fuck me Argonia won't you give it a rest? Thread after thread with your stream of consciousness havoc and videos and links not related to the thread topic but people's answers. It's getting exhausting.


I'm enjoying his posts tbh.


----------



## kenny g (Jul 4, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> Say what you like about Spanner. But atleast he doesn't hide behind 'being on the spectrum' and 'being an anarchist' regarding his nonsense on here. Truly pathetic and the behaviour of an utter arsehole.
> 
> And don't expect me to ever delete or retract this comment you sad cunt.


Pickman's one of the most popular to ignore posters on here. I took the option years back and when I occasionally unignore realise I haven't missed much/anything. It is a bulletin board - if people piss you off or become bores you have the option of turning them off.


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Jul 4, 2021)

I think I may be on the spectrum, but I'm just not quite sure where.


----------



## brogdale (Jul 4, 2021)

Urban...do your best*   



*only rule = nothing released by The Smiths in 1986


----------



## Raheem (Jul 4, 2021)

Candle in the Wind 1997


----------



## Steel Icarus (Jul 4, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Urban...do your best*
> 
> View attachment 276850
> 
> *only rule = nothing released by The Smiths in 1986


Is it "I cum blood" by Cannibal Corpse?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2021)

S☼I said:


> Is it "I cum blood" by Cannibal Corpse?


nah, it's jim nesbith's 'lizardman'


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2021)

kenny g said:


> Pickman's one of the most popular to ignore posters on here. I took the option years back and when I occasionally unignore realise I haven't missed much/anything. It is a bulletin board - if people piss you off or become bores you have the option of turning them off.


for someone who claims to have had me on ignore for years you quote me with depressing frequency


----------



## magneze (Jul 4, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Urban...do your best*
> 
> View attachment 276850
> 
> *only rule = nothing released by The Smiths in 1986


----------



## Argonia (Jul 4, 2021)




----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

So how does this George Cross for all NHS workers going to work? Are they going to mass produce one each for the 1.5 million people working in it? Are they going to made in a Nike sweatshop in east Asia?









						Royals celebrate NHS anniversary with George Cross and tea party
					

The Queen awards the NHS the George Cross while Prince William attends a thanksgiving service.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## brogdale (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> So how does this George Cross for all NHS workers going to work? Are they going to mass produce one each for the 1.5 million people working in it? Are they going to made in a Nike sweatshop in east Asia?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No doubt the SCG corporation will invoice the DHSC for the cost of producing the empty symbolism of the single representative medal and that cost could be deducted from the nurses pay cut 'award'.


----------



## Chilli.s (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> So how does this George Cross for all NHS workers going to work? Are they going to mass produce one each for the 1.5 million people working in it? Are they going to made in a Nike sweatshop in east Asia?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Just what you need instead of a decent pay rise.


----------



## brogdale (Jul 5, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> Just what you need instead of a decent pay rise.


As my (politically incorrect) late Uncle used to say..._the 3 most useless things in the world; a man's tits, the Pope's balls and a vote of thanks for the staff!_


----------



## MickiQ (Jul 5, 2021)

brogdale said:


> As my (politically incorrect) late Uncle used to say..._the 3 most useless things in the world; a man's tits, the Pope's balls and a vote of thanks for the staff!_


Son Q's girlfriend is a nurse, Son went and fetched her home from work one Thursday last year as we were all stood on the doorstep duly clapping away. 
"Well this is all very nice" she said "But I'd rather have some money"
There will probably only be one actual medal minted, there was one awarded to Malta at the end of WW2 which is now currently in the Maltese National War Museum.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> Just what you need instead of a decent pay rise.


About as useful as the gesture politics of clapping for them.









						Boris Johnson says he would not take the knee: 'I don't believe in gestures'
					

Prime minister adds that people should not be ‘bullied’ into acting contrary to their wishes




					www.independent.co.uk


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Son Q's girlfriend is a nurse, Son went and fetched her home from work one Thursday last year as we were all stood on the doorstep duly clapping away.
> "Well this is all very nice" she said "But I'd rather have some money"
> There will probably only be one actual medal minted, there was one awarded to Malta at the end of WW2 which is now currently in the Maltese National War Museum.


My New Zealand born grandfather Ian who fought in the Navy in the Second World War and recently died aged 102 saw action in Malta. He commanded me to "get political" and "get the flags and banners out" so I got political. Fortunately he survived the war and had a good career in radar.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> About as useful as the gesture politics of clapping for them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


he'll wish he'd paid more attention to gestures when he stares in abject horror down the gullet of a penguin


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Son Q's girlfriend is a nurse, Son went and fetched her home from work one Thursday last year as we were all stood on the doorstep duly clapping away.
> "Well this is all very nice" she said "But I'd rather have some money"
> There will probably only be one actual medal minted, there was one awarded to Malta at the end of WW2 which is now currently in the Maltese National War Museum.


and there will be no minted nurses


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> About as useful as the gesture politics of clapping for them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


oh and if people shouldn't be bullied into acting contrary to their wishes i hope johnson will take this laudable notion to dr therese coffey at the dwp and instruct her to end sanctions forthwith


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> oh and if people shouldn't be bullied into acting contrary to their wishes i hope johnson will take this laudable notion to dr therese coffey at the dwp and instruct her to end sanctions forthwith


Private so probably shouldn't say but my brother has been unemployed for 3 and a half years - one of the roughly 2,.6 million - so I live in fear of sanctions and if necessary will have to get a second job to get him food. Luckily he has dutifully done his jobsearches so no sanction yet. He has also been doing voluntary work editing fiction which uses his editing qualification so at least has something on his CV and a reference. I have had my fair share of time in the JobCentre Plus and hated every minute of it. The whole system treats you like some sort of petty criminal and is far from a Universal Basic Income.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Private so probably shouldn't say but my brother has been unemployed for 3 and a half years so I live in fear of sanctions and if necessary will have to get a second job to get him food. Luckily he has dutifully done his jobsearches so no sanction yet. He has also been doing voluntary work editing fiction which uses his editing qualification so at least has something on his CV and a reference. I have had my fair share of time in the JobCentre Plus and hated every minute of it. The whole system treats you like some sort of petty criminal and is far from a Universal Basic Income.


i've had some good times in job centres. like the time in may 1998 i quit a temping job and walked up to the dole to start my claim, where i had a very enjoyable chat with the man who signed me on - nothing to do with my claim but a mutual and not dole related interest. or the auld-ish man who had been there since 1976 and didn't give a shit, so if he signed you on it was done and dusted in 30 seconds and no questions asked. and i've mentioned the time where i thought i was owed a tenner but was in fact owed a whole giro. yeh the good times are few in comparison to the meh or bah but they were still there. however, i haven't signed on since november 2005 so i'm well aware that much has changed since then and little of it for the better.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> i've had some good times in job centres. like the time in may 1998 i quit a temping job and walked up to the dole to start my claim, where i had a very enjoyable chat with the man who signed me on - nothing to do with my claim but a mutual and not dole related interest. or the auld-ish man who had been there since 1976 and didn't give a shit, so if he signed you on it was done and dusted in 30 seconds and no questions asked. and i've mentioned the time where i thought i was owed a tenner but was in fact owed a whole giro. yeh the good times are few in comparison to the meh or bah but they were still there. however, i haven't signed on since november 2005 so i'm well aware that much has changed since then and little of it for the better.


I had mixed experiences. Some of them were tyrants who really got on my case but there were some kind people working there as well who listened to me and did a good job despite the awful targets they were under from their managers.


----------



## brogdale (Jul 5, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> i've had some good times in job centres. like the time in may 1998 i quit a temping job and walked up to the dole to start my claim, where i had a very enjoyable chat with the man who signed me on - nothing to do with my claim but a mutual and not dole related interest. or the auld-ish man who had been there since 1976 and didn't give a shit, so if he signed you on it was done and dusted in 30 seconds and no questions asked. and i've mentioned the time where i thought i was owed a tenner but was in fact owed a whole giro. yeh the good times are few in comparison to the meh or bah but they were still there. however, i haven't signed on since november 2005 so i'm well aware that much has changed since then and little of it for the better.


My last visit to the Labour Exchange was in 1983; the bloke at Catford told me that there were so many claiming that I wouldn't be expected to sign-on again for 6 weeks! That took me nicely through to the start of next term.

But, yeah...well aware that things are totally different now and the neoliberal shitstorm blows hard against those in need.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I had mixed experiences. Some of them were tyrants who really got on my case but there were some kind people working there as well who listened to me and did a good job despite the awful targets they were under from their managers.


sadly we're never going to return to the halcyon days of my first period on the dole where you queued up in the job centre and signed and went on your way. but that was in the nineties and things were different then.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

It wasn't too bad when I tried making a concept album based on Ovid's "Metamorphoses" in Todmorden. We used to make up names of companies we applied to in our job diaries and nobody ever checked. There was even a special system for young musicians like my mate from Oxford James Rutledge which allowed him the space to make music without being hassled (he lived down the road in Hebden Bridge). 





__





						JAMES RUTLEDGE
					

James Rutledge: Music, Production, Remixing...



					www.jamesrutledge.com
				







__





						James Rutledge - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> It wasn't too bad when I tried making a concept album based on Ovid's "Metamorphoses" in Todmorden. We used to make up names of companies we applied to in our job diaries and nobody ever checked. There was even a special system for young musicians like my mate from Oxford James Rutledge which allowed him the space to make music without being hassled (he lived down the road in Hebden Bridge).
> 
> 
> 
> ...


can't help thinking you might have done better to make a concept album based on ovid's ars amatoria


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> can't help thinking you might have done better to make a concept album based on ovid's ars amatoria


Never occurred to us! Used to schlepp off to an internet cafe in Tod run by a crazy old guy called Pete who had no custom but was amazed to see us turn up printing off Latin verse.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

I'm trying to find out how many benefit sanctions there are each year and the government statistics websites are driving me up the fucking wall. All I want is a nice clear number without a load of garbage in the way. I found out one source that said there were 686,000 in the year 2014.



			https://npi.org.uk/files/1314/3444/4908/Sanction_report_1606.pdf


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

From Russia Beyond:

Did you know that even Queen Elizabeth II has some old pieces of jewelry that once belonged to the Russian royal family?









						What happened to these priceless Romanov tiaras after 1917 Revolution?
					

Even Queen Elizabeth II has some old pieces of jewelry that once belonged to the Russian royal family.




					www.rbth.com


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 5, 2021)

kenny g said:


> Pickman's one of the most popular to ignore posters on here. I took the option years back and when I occasionally unignore realise I haven't missed much/anything. It is a bulletin board - if people piss you off or become bores you have the option of turning them off.


I haven't liked to do that before  but have now changed my mind. The ignore button is great.


----------



## MickiQ (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> From Russia Beyond:
> 
> Did you know that even Queen Elizabeth II has some old pieces of jewelry that once belonged to the Russian royal family?
> 
> ...


Can't have too many sparkly hats


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Can't have too many sparkly hats


Alright for some. The one million disabled sanctioned since 2010 don't have very sparkly hats as their carers rush them to food banks.









						More than a million benefits sanctions imposed on disabled people since 2010
					

Groundbreaking Demos study reveals ‘culture of disbelief’ about disability among jobcentre staff leads to money being docked




					www.theguardian.com
				




The study found that disabled claimants receiving jobseekers’ allowance – given to people who are out of work – were 26-53% more likely to be sanctioned than claimants who were not.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> I haven't liked to do that before  but have now changed my mind. The ignore button is great.


i wish you could have explained what's so scandalously offensive about saying someone protests too much. i'd love to know. but it seems the task was too much for you.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)




----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Iceland is a very sane country. We in the Republic can learn from them.









						Four-day week 'an overwhelming success' in Iceland
					

The majority of workers in Iceland now look set to move to shorter hours for the same pay.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




*Trials of a four-day week in Iceland were an "overwhelming success" and led to many workers moving to shorter hours, researchers have said.*
The trials, in which workers were paid the same amount for shorter hours, took place between 2015 and 2019.


----------



## Chilli.s (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Iceland is a very sane country. We in the Republic can learn from them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


We should aim a bit higher and go for the 4 day weekend


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> We should aim a bit higher and go for the 4 day weekend


I tweeted their leader Jonsdottir but alas like 86% of my tweets answer came there none


----------



## Serene (Jul 5, 2021)

Didnt Trump ask if he could sleep with Princess Anne on his visit?


----------



## brogdale (Jul 5, 2021)

Serene said:


> Didnt Trump ask if he could sleep with Princess Anne on his visit?


Yuge, if true!


----------



## Serene (Jul 5, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Yuge, if true!


I might have imagined it.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Serene said:


> I might have imagined it.


Keep imagining Serene and spread your lies around. They make me laugh.


----------



## Serene (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Keep imagining Serene and spread your lies around. They make me laugh.



😂 I am a liar, and I will keep on telling lies.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Serene said:


> 😂 I am a liar, and I will keep on telling lies.


The Tories are liars so what harm does a white lie do?


----------



## Serene (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> The Tories are liars so what harm does a white lie do?


As above, so below.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Iceland is a very sane country. We in the Republic can learn from them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Where Iceland went wrong was never feeding people with monarchical pretensions to their native seabirds


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Where Iceland went wrong was never feeding people with monarchical pretensions to their native seabirds


We had an Iceland in Guildford near Harper's nightclub which became the Drink (then later the Casino) where Cheryl Cole got into a fracas with a toilet attendant in 2003 but it is now gone. Think it was a Bejam originally.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

At last! An oubtreak of journalism on the BBC discussing the awful treatment of the disabled! Although no word from Laura Kuennsberg and Adam Fleming who completely failed to respond to my tweet.









						Benefits and disability: 'I'll never cohabit again, to protect myself'
					

Some disabled people have been left uncomfortably reliant on partners after benefits were removed.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Dystopiary (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> At last! An oubtreak of journalism on the BBC discussing the awful treatment of the disabled! Although no word from Laura Kuennsberg and Adam Fleming who completely failed to respond to my tweet.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I started a thread on that earlier, in the Employment and Benefits forum.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Dystopiary said:


> I started a thread on that earlier, in the Employment and Benefits forum.


Good one, I'll take a look. I have a friend from Oxford who works in BBC News and have sent her a message to sort out the mess that is BBC reporting.


----------



## Dystopiary (Jul 5, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Good one, I'll take a look. I have a friend from Oxford who works in BBC News and have sent her a message to sort out the mess that is BBC reporting.


Whoops, I meant Benefits and Housing. Nice one.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Found out today that John Bunyan spent 12 years in prison due to Charles II who we should never have let back in the country. Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress" was my school hymn and it was rousing.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 5, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> or the auld-ish man who had been there since 1976 and didn't give a shit, so if he signed you on it was done and dusted in 30 seconds and no questions asked





Pickman's model said:


> however, i haven't signed on since november 2005 so i'm well aware that much has changed since then and little of it for the better.



people like that will almost certainly have been 'performance managed' out for not hitting their target of sanctions


----------



## Argonia (Jul 5, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> people like that will almost certainly have been 'performance managed' out for not hitting their target of sanctions


Some of them are clinging on. There was a guy in Woking who used to hail me as some kind of rockstar when he saw me sloping in for the 800th week running. And one time a woman was about to sanction me for being late to a sign in and told me Alex Ferguson was never late once in his life and I told her in the south east we do things differently and I was busy reading Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath" and she relented and didn't sanction. Another one I told I wanted to be paid in gold which melted his mind.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 5, 2021)

brogdale said:


> My last visit to the Labour Exchange was in 1983; the bloke at Catford told me that there were so many claiming that I wouldn't be expected to sign-on again for 6 weeks! That took me nicely through to the start of next term.







first signed on there in 1986 and occasionally until about 1990.  then used to go round to catford mews for tea and toast - think it was every 2 weeks by then.



Argonia said:


> Some of them are clinging on. There was a guy in Woking who used to hail me as some kind of rockstar when he saw me sloping in for the 800th week running. And one time a woman was about to sanction me for being late to a sign in and told me Alex Ferguson was never late once in his life and I told her in the south east we do things differently and I was busy reading Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath" and she relented and didn't sanction. Another one I told I wanted to be paid in gold which melted his mind.



I don't remember much in the way of conversations with the counter staff when i was on the dole - tended to be show your UB40, sign your name, bugger off (the job centres were a separate entity then)


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> View attachment 277116
> 
> first signed on there in 1986 and occasionally until about 1990.  then used to go round to catford mews for tea and toast - think it was every 2 weeks by then.
> 
> ...


Ah, UB40. Get it shown and then drink some red red wine


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Many apologies about the Daily Fail link but the Fail are quite useful in documenting the collapse of the Windsors.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's plans for world domination have hit a stumbling block.

I can disclose that their plans to trademark their entertainment and charity empire have fallen foul of U.S. lawyers.

Prince Harry and Meghan applied to have their fundraising outfit, Archewell Foundation, and podcast firm, Archewell Audio, protected by company law in America. They sent documents to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office asking for the sole use of the terms.









						EDEN CONFIDENTIAL: Sussexes' trademark bid for Archewell hits skids
					

RICHARD EDEN: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's plans to trademark their entertainment and charity empire have fallen foul of U.S. lawyers.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

The Windsors endgame. The poor Windsors don't realise checkmate has already been declared. They got wiped out by a fiancetto and a bishop attack.









						The Windsors: Endgame | Prince of Wales Theatre
					

BAFTA award winning comedian and actor Harry Enfield stars in a hilarious new stage adaptation of the hit Channel 4 tv series The Windsors.




					thewindsorsendgame.com


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

The first 12 billboards will go up in a couple of weeks. They'll be in Aberdeen, Paisley and Glasgow, Newcastle, Leeds, Liverpool, the Potteries, Birmingham and Portsmouth. We haven't forgotten Wales, which will be the priority for the next lot we order.

@RepublicStaff


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Spanner seems to have melted away like a glacier


----------



## brogdale (Jul 6, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Spanner seems to have melted away like a glacier


Glaciers retreat when melting (& sublimation) exceed accumulation.

Spanner retreated.


----------



## stavros (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> Didnt Trump ask if he could sleep with Princess Anne on his visit?


Such an idea immediately reminds me of one of the lines in this song.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Glaciers retreat when melting (& sublimation) exceed accumulation.
> 
> Spanner retreated.


Like the Allied retreat from the Gallipoli peninsula in January 1916


----------



## brogdale (Jul 6, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Like the Allied retreat from the Gallipoli peninsula in January 1916


Mebbe, but more like the unamusing troll that they were.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 6, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Glaciers retreat when melting (& sublimation) exceed accumulation.
> 
> Spanner retreated.


Oh it's a bit early to write them off


----------



## brogdale (Jul 6, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Oh it's a bit early to write them off


Nah, I reckon they've plummeted into the bergschrund crevasse of dull-witted, troll-fail irrelevance


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> Didnt Trump ask if he could sleep with Princess Anne on his visit?


What's your next lie Serene ? I'm waiting with baited breath. Try and see if you can infiltrate the hopeless BBC News website with it.


----------



## Serene (Jul 6, 2021)

stavros said:


> Such an idea immediately reminds me of one of the lines in this song.



🤣 He showed his ... to Princess Anne. Rik Mayall is one of the best of all time. Thats a very funny video, thank you for that. I am a good girl tho I am. All I want is a place somewhere, far away from the cold night air.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> 🤣 He showed his ... to Princess Anne. Rik Mayall is one of the best of all time. Thats a very funny video, thank you for that. I am a good girl tho I am. All I want is a place somewhere, far away from the cold night air.


I like the one about Michael Gove and Dominic Cummings having a gay affair together which may or may not be true - haven't heard it on the news









						My husband’s ‘gay affair’ with Gove | The Spectator
					

After this little storm, I’ll be much more cautious about the people ‘everyone knows’ are gay




					www.spectator.co.uk


----------



## Serene (Jul 6, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I like the one about Michael Gove and Dominic Cummings having a gay affair together which may or may not be true - haven't heard it on the news
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I heard that rumour also. I heard Rees-Mogg said he could cure them of it with a tincture of Laudanum. Mogg said it was his duty before they converted the rest of the Tory Cabinet. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, Mogg hastened to add.


----------



## Serene (Jul 6, 2021)

Mogg buys it from a Chinese man who he meets near the river Thames.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> I heard that rumour also. I heard Rees-Mogg said he could cure them of it with a tincture of Laudanum. Mogg said it was his duty before they converted the rest of the Tory Cabinet. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, Mogg hastened to add.


Thought William Ewart Gladstone had taken laudanum before speeches but might be opium, not sure which and not sure what the difference is. Queen Victoria apparently had a cocaine gum with a young Winston Churchill, whatever a cocaine gum is.









						100 years of the war on drugs
					

The first international drug treaty was signed a century ago this week. So has anything really changed in the war on drugs?



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> Mogg buys it from a Chinese man who he meets near the river Thames.


I heard on the grapevine it was a Chinese man out of Herge's "The Blue Lotus"









						The Blue Lotus - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Serene (Jul 6, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Thought William Ewart Gladstone had taken laudanum before speeches but might be opium, not sure which and not sure what the difference is. Queen Victoria apparently had a cocaine gum with a young Winston Churchill, whatever a cocaine gum is.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Rees-Mogg had an affair with Queen Victoria.


----------



## Serene (Jul 6, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I heard on the grapevine it was a Chinese man out of Herge's "The Blue Lotus"
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Tin Tin is quality entertainment. Rees-Mogg buys it from Fu Man Chu, whom he first met in the early 1900`s, during the Art nouveau period.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> Rees-Mogg had an affair with Queen Victoria.


Get THAT on the BBC News!









						Home - BBC News
					

Visit BBC News for up-to-the-minute news, breaking news, video, audio and feature stories. BBC News provides trusted World and UK news as well as local and regional perspectives. Also entertainment, business, science, technology and health news.




					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Serene (Jul 6, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Get THAT on the BBC News!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Dont they know?


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> Dont they know?


They're a bit slow witted and behind the times. Like the Blue Peter tortoise. You click on the link and there isn't a single mention of the Republic at all. Not a peep.


----------



## Serene (Jul 6, 2021)

I was reading Le Lotus Bleu link. Apparently this Tin Tin adventure took some of the background  from the Sino-Japanese war in the story.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> I was reading Le Lotus Bleu link. Apparently this Tin Tin adventure took some of the background  from the Sino-Japanese war in the story.


Well spotted


----------



## Argonia (Jul 6, 2021)

Serene said:


> I was reading Le Lotus Bleu link. Apparently this Tin Tin adventure took some of the background  from the Sino-Japanese war in the story.


Relations between China and Japan are still worth monitoring. A lot of resentment in China over their treatment in the Second World War. As are the war drums between Biden and Xi Jinping - we must avoid getting drawn into it if there is a war.


----------



## Spanner (Jul 6, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Nah, I reckon they've plummeted into the bergschrund crevasse of dull-witted, troll-fail irrelevance


You wish


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 7, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I like the one about Michael Gove and Dominic Cummings having a gay affair together which may or may not be true - haven't heard it on the news



🤢

(at the thought of anybody having sex with either of them, not the gay element of it.   although on reflection, suppose there's an argument that they deserve each other...)


----------



## Argonia (Jul 7, 2021)

Oh dear. Kate Middleton's cousin Lucy in a plagiarism row with Anna Pasternak over Dr Zhivago









						EDEN CONFIDENTIAL: Kate Middleton's cousin embroiled in plagiarism row
					

EDEN CONFIDENTIAL: Lucy Middleton, who's said to be the Duchess of Cambridge's favourite cousin and is godmother to Prince Louis, is involved in a legal dispute with royal historian Anna Pasternak.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Serene (Jul 7, 2021)

Britain has a Prince called Louis? I must have been busy when that one was born. Is this another Sun King? Surreal.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 7, 2021)

Serene said:


> Britain has a Prince called Louis? I must have been busy when that one was born. Is this another Sun King? Surreal.


Read Nancy Mitford on Versailles in my last address in Woking. I think I am vaguely related to the utterly bonkers Mitfords.

I had to teach history to a girl at a sixth form crammer in London once and she said she loved Louis Quattorze and I couldn't budge her no matter how much anti-monarchical propagands I threw at her.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 7, 2021)

Serene said:


> Britain has a Prince called Louis? I must have been busy when that one was born. Is this another Sun King? Surreal.


After Louis Mountbatten


----------



## Argonia (Jul 7, 2021)

Serene said:


> Britain has a Prince called Louis? I must have been busy when that one was born. Is this another Sun King? Surreal.


----------



## Serene (Jul 7, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Read Nancy Mitford on Versailles in my last address in Woking. I think I am vaguely related to the utterly bonkers Mitfords.
> 
> I had to teach history to a girl at a sixth form crammer in London once and she said she loved Louis Quattorze and I couldn't budge her no matter how much anti-monarchical propagands I threw at her.


I shall research Nancy Mitford, one of the bright young things, I am reading on her wiki. I hadnt heard of her. Parfois books that one didnt know one was looking for suddenly appear. I notice she died in Vesailles. When I get the time, shortly, I shall research about her. Je Vous remercie de votre attention. I can relate to being fascinated by France of that period, and the Revolution.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 7, 2021)

Serene said:


> I shall research Nancy Mitford, one of the bright young things, I am reading on her wiki. I hadnt heard of her. Parfois books that one didnt know one was looking for suddenly appear. I notice she died in Vesailles. When I get the time, shortly, I shall research about her. Je Vous remercie de votre attention. I can relate to being fascinated by France of that period, and the Revolution.


The Mitfords were all over the shop. As I recall off the top of my head Unity was a Nazi and Jessica a Communist. I think I have a vague relation through the Risdales but mum does the family history in my family and I can never keep up with the details.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 7, 2021)

Serene said:


> I shall research Nancy Mitford, one of the bright young things, I am reading on her wiki. I hadnt heard of her. Parfois books that one didnt know one was looking for suddenly appear. I notice she died in Vesailles. When I get the time, shortly, I shall research about her. Je Vous remercie de votre attention. I can relate to being fascinated by France of that period, and the Revolution.


I recently read Hippolyte Taine on the French Revolution. The chaos, madness and bloodshed of it was building up for years with incident after incident of cops being attacked and warrehouses and granaries emptied and local council registers being burnt and defaced and all the rest of it. A real tragic mess.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 7, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Followed by:
> 
> Last edited: Yesterday at 10:30 PM


I actually have very good reason to regularly edit my posts. Due to the medication I'm on I suffer from brain fog and general fatigue- as I've had to mention on here before.

Your ableism is a shame.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 7, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> I actually have very good reason to regularly edit my posts. Due to the medication I'm on I suffer from brain fog and fatigue- as I've had to mention on here before.
> 
> Your ableism is a shame.


Say what you like about this self but at least I don't hide behind brain fatigue to explain away antisemitism.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 7, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Say what you like about this self but at least I don't hide behind brain fatigue to explain away antisemitism.


Which is completely false, having no basis in reality at all - unlike your ableism - which is very real.

And atleast I acknowledged that what I posted was wrong and apologized for it. You have yet to make amends. I won't hold my breath though considering your current doubling down.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> Which is completely false, having no basis in reality at all - unlike your ableism - which is very real.
> 
> And atleast I acknowledged that what I posted was wrong and apologized for it. You have yet to make amends. I won't hold my breath though considering your current doubling down.



Amends for what, clown?


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 8, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Amends for what, clown?


You know exactly what for knobhead. Pretending otherwise is ludicrously stupid.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> You know exactly what for knobhead. Pretending otherwise is ludicrously stupid.



Stop gas lighting, you fucking dope.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jul 8, 2021)

there is little of value in this thread. dunno why i’m still reading it


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

It seems to bring all the knobs to the yard


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

Serene said:


> Rees-Mogg had an affair with Queen Victoria.


You got it wrong Serene . Mogg had a threeway with Queen Victoria and Prince Albert


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 8, 2021)

Argonia said:


> You got it wrong Serene . Mogg had a threeway with Queen Victoria and Prince Albert


No, Rees-mogg had a Prince Albert and drank in the queen vic


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 8, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Stop gas lighting, you fucking dope.


More ludicrous nonsense. Oh well.


----------



## Aladdin (Jul 8, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> More ludicrous nonsense. Oh well.



Please don't carry this on...
It's really boring.

And disappointing because I keep looking...to see if the queen is dead.

😡


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> there is little of value in this thread. dunno why i’m still reading it


Labour theory of value? Or are you more of an Adam Smith man?





__





						Labor theory of value - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jul 8, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> It seems to bring all the knobs to the yard


You should know.


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 8, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> there is little of value in this thread. dunno why i’m still reading it



This thread could really do with the Queen dying about now.


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 8, 2021)

Sugar Kane said:


> Please don't carry this on...
> It's really boring.
> 
> And disappointing because I keep looking...to see if the queen is dead.
> ...



One day someone will post “yes” and no one will notice until about two minutes later when they interrupt all the broadcasts.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 8, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> One day someone will post “yes” and no one will notice until about two minutes later when they interrupt all the broadcasts.


Yes


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 8, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> This thread could really do with the Queen dying about now.


I think it would be of wider benefit


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 8, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Labour theory of value? Or are you more of an Adam Smith man?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


He's more of a granny smith man


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> This thread could really do with the Queen dying about now.


She better fucking not - if she karks it she escapes justice


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 8, 2021)

Argonia said:


> She better fucking not - if she karks it she escapes justice



She will go to a higher tribunal


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

Nearly shot my TV like Elvis last night when the camera alighted on Etonian Prince William KG KT PC ADC at the end of the match.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> You should know.



Quod est demonstratum


----------



## MickiQ (Jul 8, 2021)

Sugar Kane said:


> Please don't carry this on...
> It's really boring.
> 
> And disappointing because I keep looking...to see if the queen is dead.
> ...


TBH I suspect Brenda shuffling off this mortal coil will be be a major news story around the world and even if you junk all your devices and live in a cave in the woods you will still hear about within a few hours.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> More ludicrous nonsense. Oh well.


As ludicrous as you bleating ablelist, you hypocritical dong


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Quod est demonstratum


Queenie flocci non facio


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> TBH I suspect Brenda shuffling off this mortal coil will be be a major news story around the world and even if you junk all your devices and live in a cave in the woods you will still hear about within a few hours.


Should be blanked off entirely. Don't give her Thatcher's oxygen of publicity


----------



## Aladdin (Jul 8, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> TBH I suspect Brenda shuffling off this mortal coil will be be a major news story around the world and even if you junk all your devices and live in a cave in the woods you will still hear about within a few hours.



Ach I know...

It's all so pathetic.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jul 8, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> As ludicrous as you bleating ablelist, you hypocritical dong


You having a dig at someone who's explained about their medication is not a good look.  You're usually the first one to start bleating about bullying, and yet here you are being a bully yourself.


----------



## MrCurry (Jul 8, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> there is little of value in this thread. dunno why i’m still reading it


Future internet historians who dig back thru this thread researching how the inevitable end of our Queen’s life was anticipated, will no doubt become very confused.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

MrCurry said:


> Future internet historians who dig back thru this thread researching how the inevitable end of our Queen’s life was anticipated, will no doubt become very confused.


If we survive climate change and peak oil the 22nd and 23rd century historians will have a big job reading through all the sources at the internet like Urban75 to analyse how we made the peaceful transition to a democracy


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

MrCurry said:


> Future internet historians who dig back thru this thread researching how the inevitable end of our Queen’s life was anticipated, will no doubt become very confused.


There's no future


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

Oh Christ Southgate is in line for a knighthood. I will weep hot tears like when dear old Mike Palin bowed under Queenie's samurai sword


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> You having a dig at someone who's explained about their medication is not a good look.  You're usually the first one to start bleating about bullying, and yet here you are being a bully yourself.


Lol, another gaslighting shit who's been doing it for a decade.

Back under your stone.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> You having a dig at someone who's explained about their medication is not a good look.  You're usually the first one to start bleating about bullying, and yet here you are being a bully yourself.


For what it's worth, was highlighting the poster's unprovoked attack on Pickman's model, and the hypocrisy of the count saying he'd never retract his post & then editing it later. 

As for knowing about his medical history? Cannot remember every poster's situation. Do remember some very unpleasant comments on the tragedy in Jerusalem recently.

Can you? Remember each poster and their conditions? And would you have a go, if you felt strongly about a poster's comments, whether you knew their history or not?


----------



## Orang Utan (Jul 8, 2021)

STOP IT


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 8, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> STOP IT



SMASH THE MONARCHY


----------



## Aladdin (Jul 8, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> You should know.





ElizabethofYork said:


> You having a dig at someone who's explained about their medication is not a good look.  You're usually the first one to start bleating about bullying, and yet here you are being a bully yourself.




And you just jump right in white kniting for the Count of Cuckolding. Do you know who they are?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jul 8, 2021)

Not a clue who they are.  Don't care.  I don't like to see bullying, especially by that hypocrite Krtek.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

Orang Utan said:


> STOP IT


START THE CAR RUNNING


----------



## Aladdin (Jul 8, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Not a clue who they are.  Don't care.  I don't like to see bullying, especially by that hypocrite Krtek.



Have to say...I didnt notice much different to the usual creative insult throwing that can happen..

🤔

And Cunt Cuckold is plenty capable of throwing their own about too. 

But .. I will leave it there. 



And...oops the queen is NOT dead.


----------



## NoXion (Jul 8, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> There's no future



That's what they want you to think. They want you to be demoralised and without hope.

Fuck that.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 8, 2021)

NoXion said:


> That's what they want you to think. They want you to be demoralised and without hope.
> 
> Fuck that.


Hope:


----------



## stavros (Jul 8, 2021)

I'm guessing she won't be at Wembley on Sunday. I have this horrible feeling that with the scores level going into the ninetieth minute Kane/Sterling/Pickford is through on goal, with only the keeper to beat, when the game is suddenly cancelled so we can all mourn the terrible news that has just broken.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 8, 2021)

So is the Queen dead or what?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jul 8, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> So is the Queen dead or what?


She's dead to me.


----------



## brogdale (Jul 8, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> So is the Queen dead or what?


Maybe not dead, as such, but the word is that it ain't looking good for Mama SCG:


----------



## Argonia (Jul 9, 2021)

@HrmQueene


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 9, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Should be blanked off entirely. Don't give her Thatcher's oxygen of publicity



Quite, stifle her with a pillow in the billiards room


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 9, 2021)

stavros said:


> I'm guessing she won't be at Wembley on Sunday. I have this horrible feeling that with the scores level going into the ninetieth minute Kane/Sterling/Pickford is through on goal, with only the keeper to beat, when the game is suddenly cancelled so we can all mourn the terrible news that has just broken.


The news will be suppressed if England are winning but widely shared if England are losing. It is southgate's secret weapon


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 9, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> The news will be suppressed if England are winning but widely shared if England are losing. It is southgate's secret weapon


Put her in goal for the penalty shootout


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 9, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Put her in goal for the penalty shootout


For no man alive dare risk the wrath of the lizard queen


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 9, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> For no man alive dare risk the wrath of the lizard queen



She'll catch the ball with a flick of her reptilian tongue.


----------



## brogdale (Jul 9, 2021)

Can't see La SCG being fit for the bench, tbh...


----------



## Argonia (Jul 9, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> She'll catch the ball with a flick of her reptilian tongue.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 9, 2021)




----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

We're basically still Victorian Britain with a gap between rich and poor that even evil Tory Benjamin Disraeli would have called out.









						Dying too young: Maps show little has changed in 170 years
					

Why do areas with high Covid death rates match places with the worst health in Victorian times?



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Serene (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> We're basically still Victorian Britain with a gap between rich and poor that even evil Tory Benjamin Disraeli would have called out.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It sticks in Rees-Moggs craw that we dont uphold the same standards as Victorian times, particularly in terms of slave wages and zero employment law.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> We're basically still Victorian Britain with a gap between rich and poor that even evil Tory Benjamin Disraeli would have called out.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No, that's not wholly true. In the 1970s apparently the UK was the second most equal country in Europe after Sweden. Then thatcher happened and forty years later we are in this shitty state. So it's not like at every point over the past 130-150 years everything's been so shit. It's forty years of Tory / Tory lite decisions


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> No, that's not wholly true. In the 1970s apparently the UK was the second most equal country in Europe after Sweden. Then thatcher happened and forty years later we are in this shitty state. So it's not like at every point over the past 130-150 years everything's been so shit. It's forty years of Tory / Tory lite decisions


Absolutely right. I'll check my Gini coefficient for the 1970s.


----------



## brogdale (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Absolutely right. I'll check my Gini coefficient for the 1970s.


Much of the methodology depends upon declared, taxable income, so most very rich people look very poor.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Much of the methodology depends upon declared, taxable income, so most very rich people look very poor.


Oh right. Is there any better statistical measurement of wealth out there then?


----------



## brogdale (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Oh right. Is there any better statistical measurement of wealth out there then?


Most of it is hidden in tax havens, so not measurable.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Oh right. Is there any better statistical measurement of wealth out there then?



Off with their heads and see if they bleed blue


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Astoundingly Meghan and Harry have been given a George Cross by Population Matters for spunking out two sprogs. I am sure the Nobel Prize and 650 honourary degrees will soon follow. What an incredible achievement - nobody else has ever had two children in human history so it really is a remarkable breakthrough like Einstein's relativity or Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle.









						Meghan Markle and Prince Harry receive 'special' charity award
					

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have been dubbed a 'role model for other families' after limiting their number of children to two after the birth of their daughter Lilibet 'Lili' Diana on June 4.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Absolutely right. I'll check my Gini coefficient for the 1970s.


I saw something about this in the news the other day. But prob in guardian which likely makes it worthless for evidentiary use


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Absolutely right. I'll check my Gini coefficient for the 1970s.


See para 24 here Britain in the Seventies – Our Unfinest Hour?


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 10, 2021)

Can people keep their posts not about the queen being dead on another thread. 
I'm looking at you argonia.

It's bloody annoying.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> I saw something about this in the news the other day. But prob in guardian which likely makes it worthless for evidentiary use


I am starting to take an interest in the Graun to see if they are improving. I was trying to read a Marina Hyde article but note they say you have to register - didn't they use to have whole articles for free? Have they recently changed their policy?









						We can’t keep politics out of sport, but please keep politicians out of football | Marina Hyde
					

As the government piggybacks on England’s success, remember how it took on footballers – and lost – in the pandemic, says Guardian columnist Marina Hyde




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I am starting to take an interest in the Graun to see if they are improving. I was trying to read a Marina Hyde article but note they say you have to register - didn't they use to have whole articles for free? Have they recently changed their policy?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You don't have to register it just looks that way


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You don't have to register it just looks that way


Ah right OK. Just scanning the Independent I think they have articles for free if I am not mistaken


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You don't have to register it just looks that way


Have registered for free so I can read the whole article now.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Have registered for free so I can read the whole article now.


You'll be kicking yourself when you see you've handed over your details for a load of auld shite


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You'll be kicking yourself when you see you've handed over your details for a load of auld shite


Probably! I hope it's not the kind of surveillance that Edward Snowdon warned about. Hope editor Katharine Viner doesn't put my internet search history under surveillance in her vast Panopticon tower in Kings Place with her massive telescopes and oscilloscopes


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 10, 2021)

STOP! 
Is the queen dead? NO. 
Do this on another thread.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 10, 2021)

I see by chance that prince andrew's dad died on 9/11/2001. Wonder when his ma will pop her clogs, can't be long now


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Apparently Her Maj's favourite is Edward so even she has gone off Andrew









						Queen’s favourite child unmasked by royal expert - and it’s not Andrew
					

THE QUEEN'S favourite child has been unmasked by a royal expert, who claims it is not - nor has it ever been - Prince Andrew.




					www.express.co.uk


----------



## Serene (Jul 10, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Apparently Her Maj's favourite is Edward so even she has gone off Andrew
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The Queen said that she has never met Prince Andrew.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Serene said:


> The Queen said that she has never met Prince Andrew.











						Frankie Boyle's 'sexist' joke about Queen cleared by BBC Trust
					

Comedian's gag on Mock the Week was 'in poor taste' but 'would not have gone beyond audience expectations for the programme'. By Tara Conlan




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Argonia (Jul 10, 2021)

Pavement were right all along. No more Kings. And not a single Britcoin of taxation without representation.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 10, 2021)

Why not write about that in the Justifications for the abolition of the Monarchy in the UK thread, and leave this one to the queen dying.


----------



## Raheem (Jul 11, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Apparently Her Maj's favourite is Edward so even she has gone off Andrew
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Edward decided his kids wouldn't be princes and princesses so that any boys wouldn't have to go into the army. So, it's all relative, but he's clearly the communist of the royal family.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Why not write about that in the Justifications for the abolition of the Monarchy in the UK thread, and leave this one to the queen dying.


I understand your point and it's not an entirely unfair one but the little boy's finger has been removed from the Dutch dyke now and the waters are surging through this thread like a tsunami so that's that


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Percy Bysshe Shelley got booted out of hopeless Oxford for being an atheist in 1811 and had a pop at the dreadful monarchy. Nobody read him as per usual - everyone was reading Lord Byron.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> I saw something about this in the news the other day. But prob in guardian which likely makes it worthless for evidentiary use


I want to read the Financial Times as an alternative to the hopeless Graun but I'm fucked if I'm paying them shekels


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Raheem said:


> Edward decided his kids wouldn't be princes and princesses so that any boys wouldn't have to go into the army. So, it's all relative, but he's clearly the communist of the royal family.


I wonder if he abandoned Sophie of Wessex one night after too much claret and fucked the maid like Karl Marx when he reneged on Jenny von Westphalen


----------



## Serene (Jul 11, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Percy Bysshe Shelley got booted out of hopeless Oxford for being an atheist in 1811 and had a pop at the dreadful monarchy. Nobody read him as per usual - everyone was reading Lord Byron.


I have been reading about Voltaire. He seems a light in the dark.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Serene said:


> I have been reading about Voltaire. He seems a light in the dark.


LOVE VOLTAIRE SERENY


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2021)

Argonia said:


> I understand your point and it's not an entirely unfair one but the little boy's finger has been removed from the Dutch dyke now and the waters are surging through this thread like a tsunami so that's that


It's maddening, I can't start a new thread about the queen's impending death because this one already exists and is getting a lot of airplay (on completely unrelated material) fueled entirely by you.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2021)

I just want queen's death news.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> I just want queen's death news.


OK fair play I hear you mate. Start a new thread maybe. You don't need to use the same title, you can use a differert one. I'll read it but won't comment. By the way - should I listen to your music or is it a hopeless dirge to Queenie?


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2021)

Ask the admins to change the title of this thread to whatever general issues you are on about.

And yes all my songs are royalist salutes to the queen, horns and choirs, you wouldn't like it.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Ask the admins to change the title of this thread to whatever general issues you are on about.
> 
> And yes all my songs are royalist salutes to the queen, horns and choirs, you wouldn't like it.


Haha, I'll boycott you then mate!


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Ask the admins to change the title of this thread to whatever general issues you are on about.
> 
> And yes all my songs are royalist salutes to the queen, horns and choirs, you wouldn't like it.


No need for a name change in my books - it's a QUESTION not a STATEMENT, The ANSWER is NO SHE HASN'T - she is getting replaced by the glorious REPUBLIC!


----------



## moochedit (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> I just want queen's death news.


You'll know when the queen has really snuffed it (assumming you are in the uk) as it'll be all over the media in miniutes. I learned about phil's death from a bbc news app alert. They will likely interupt tv progs as well. So unless you spend every min on here i doubt urban is where you find out when she finally dies.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

moochedit said:


> You'll know when the queen has really snuffed it (assumming you are in the uk) as it'll be all over the media in miniutes. I learned about phil's death from a bbc news app alert. They will likely interupt tv progs as well. So unless you spend every min on here i doubt urban is where you find out when she finally dies.


Even the hopeless Guardian under Katharine Viner might manage to pick up the story after 18 years sending out their muddled up journalists on George Washington and Charles Wesley horses. Owen Jones might pick up the story in the year 4873 -  he is probably too busy watching Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford in All the President's Men to manage to do a stroke of journalism.


----------



## MrSki (Jul 11, 2021)

moochedit said:


> You'll know when the queen has really snuffed it (assumming you are in the uk) as it'll be all over the media in miniutes. I learned about phil's death from a bbc news app alert. They will likely interupt tv progs as well. So unless you spend every min on here i doubt urban is where you find out when she finally dies.


Yeah will Phil the bubble died they interupted Bargian Hunt. The cunts.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

MrSki said:


> Yeah will Phil the bubble died they interupted Bargian Hunt. The cunts.


It was worse than that Ski- they colonised BBC1 and BBC2 simultaneously like Christopher Columbus murdering kind Indians and completely fucked up my viewing of Head Hunters with Rob Beckett. Fortunately the good people of the country kicked off and complained in their millions to the abject BBC.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2021)

moochedit said:


> You'll know when the queen has really snuffed it (assumming you are in the uk) as it'll be all over the media in miniutes. I learned about phil's death from a bbc news app alert. They will likely interupt tv progs as well. So unless you spend every min on here i doubt urban is where you find out when she finally dies.


The thread is "is the queen dead?" So I am interested in speculative chat about that. Is she dead and it's being kept under wraps because of the football? Is she I'll and going to die soon? Did she catch covid off a butler?
Obviously I'll know when she is dead and it all goes to press. 

Not any general anti monarchy chat and whether the guardian newspaper is any good anymore.


----------



## moochedit (Jul 11, 2021)

MrSki said:


> Yeah will Phil the bubble died they interupted Bargian Hunt. The cunts.


The monsters


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> The thread is "is the queen dead?" So I am interested in speculative chat about that. Is she dead and it's being kept under wraps because of the football? Is she I'll and going to die soon? Did she catch covid off a butler?
> Obviously I'll know when she is dead and it all goes to press.
> 
> Not any general anti monarchy chat and whether the guardian newspaper is any good anymore.


What sort of fucking thread would that be? Surely she is either dead or alive? Or are you a believer in Schrodinger's cat? Start a new thread and write "SHE'S NOT DEAD YET" on it and then update it  with "SHE IS DEAD" if Owen Jones cracks the story before the much sharper Financial Times break it first. Call it something like "IS THE QUEEN DEAD YET?" to make it different.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

moochedit said:


> The monsters


Back when we had a British film industry


----------



## Serene (Jul 11, 2021)

Rees-Mogg has said that he is higher in rank than the Queen, in terms of Hierarchy.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Serene said:


> Rees-Mogg has said that he is higher in rank than the Queen, in terms of Hierarchy.


That's right Serene. We must all curtsy to Mogg and Annunziata when they spot us from their golden carriage in the shit strewn streets of London. We must all have a golden Russian ikon of him on our walls in our dreadful offices and workhouses and we must worship his £150 million fortune in failing pound sterling.


----------



## Serene (Jul 11, 2021)

One day as I was walking, he went past in his Hansom cab on the way to Westminster. He rolled the window down and he said that I am a cutpurse and an impudent wastrel.


----------



## brogdale (Jul 11, 2021)

This thread was started as a light-hearted attempt to liven up a dull, 2016 pre-Xmas day with a ludicrous attempt at conspiraloonspudery.

What it has become is for posters to determine, but best not to get overly vexed about a throw-away thread, eh?


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2021)

Argonia said:


> What sort of fucking thread would that be? Surely she is either dead or alive? Or are you a believer in Schrodinger's cat? Start a new thread and write "SHE'S NOT DEAD YET" on it and then update it  with "SHE IS DEAD" if Owen Jones cracks the story before the much sharper Financial Times break it first. Call it something like "IS THE QUEEN DEAD YET?" to make it different.


It would be like the 'is prince Phil dead?' thread, and if you were not interested you could talk about other stuff on other threads. 

I for instance don't like baked beans or chips, and if I wanted to discuss that I might do it on a 'foods I don't like' thread, rather than an irrelevant but dull thread I felt needed spicing up with my beans opinions.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> It would be like the 'is prince Phil dead?' thread, and if you were not interested you could talk about other stuff on other threads.
> 
> I for instance don't like baked beans or chips, and if I wanted to discuss that I might do it on a 'foods I don't like' thread, rather than an irrelevant but dull thread I felt needed spicing up with my beans opinions.


What do you mean you don't like beans or chips, man? What sort of Frankenstein monster are you? In Japan we had to get special supplies of beans flown in and airdropped  by the United Nations like the Berlin Airlfit


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Serene said:


> One day as I was walking, he went past in his Hansom cab on the way to Westminster. He rolled the window down and he said that I am a cutpurse and an impudent wastrel.


No lie - I once saw war criminal Blair in the Queen's carriage near Buck House as I shambled my way to a day out in the ICA and the Churchill War Rooms.


----------



## Serene (Jul 11, 2021)

Argonia said:


> No lie - I once saw war criminal Blair in the Queen's carriage near Buck House as I shambled my way to a day out in the ICA and the Churchill War Rooms.


She was probably asking Blair to take Prince Philips driving penalty points for him after the dangerous driving episode in his Land Rover. The Queen couldnt take the points for him as she only drives dangerously on private land.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Serene said:


> She was probably asking Blair to take Prince Philips driving penalty points for him after the dangerous driving episode in his Land Rover. The Queen couldnt take the points for him as she only drives dangerously on private land.


Exactly right Sereny. They did the Chris Huhne and Vicky Price manoeuvre. 









						Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce each jailed for eight months
					

Former Lib Dem energy secretary and ex-wife sentenced for perverting course of justice




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 11, 2021)

Serene said:


> I have been reading about Voltaire. He seems a light in the dark.


Except for his hatred of Jews


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Except for his hatred of Jews


Was he? That's sad news. I think T.S.Eliot had a Shylock problem too


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 11, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Was he? That's sad news. I think T.S.Eliot had a Shylock problem too


Take your pick voltaire jews - Google Search


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2021)

Argonia said:


> What do you mean you don't like beans or chips, man? What sort of Frankenstein monster are you? In Japan we had to get special supplies of beans flown in and airdropped  by the United Nations like the Berlin Airlfit


My local supermarket in Japan sold Waitrose essential baked beans for a while. I hate them. I don't need a sugary sauce on my beans. Gross.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> My local supermarket in Japan sold Waitrose essential baked beans for a while. I hate them. I don't need a sugary sauce on my beans. Gross.


Where you were in the land of the rising sun? I was in Fukuoka, 1999-2000.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Serene said:


> One day as I was walking, he went past in his Hansom cab on the way to Westminster. He rolled the window down and he said that I am a cutpurse and an impudent wastrel.


Eton's 20 Prime Ministers are a really lovely bunch of feudal lords. Just read about *Tallulah Bankhead, who caused a scandal in 1928 when she hosted sex and cocaine parties for Eton schoolboys. An Eton teacher was said to have told her, “We don’t at all mind you taking some of the senior boys over for a smoke or a drink or a little sex on a Sunday afternoon. That doesn’t upset me. What does upset me is you giving them cocaine before chapel.”*

Obviously what the Eton teacher objected to was having cocaine BEFORE chapel, not after it.

From:









						Sex – The Great Wen
					

Posts about Sex written by peterwatts1975




					greatwen.com


----------



## krtek a houby (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> My local supermarket in Japan sold Waitrose essential baked beans for a while. I hate them. I don't need a sugary sauce on my beans. Gross.



Think Costco's sell the Heinz. The baked beans at the local liquor store are these stodgy Italian ones. Long for Bachelor's or Branston's...


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Think Costco's sell the Heinz. The baked beans at the local liquor store are these stodgy Italian ones. Long for Bachelor's or Branston's...


This was aeon. I seem to remember a couple Waitrose essential products, but don't think I bought any. Not crazy expensive, but slightly more so than the Japanese norm. Same as dried pasta etc I suppose.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

William Keegan of the Guardian under Katharine Viner has managed to get out of his palatial bed made of damask and silk in his Rees Mogg palace in Somerset and pen a little puff piece. The new Voltaire in action.

"The Queen has recognised the achievements of doctors, nurses and ancillary staff by awarding the National Health Service the George Cross. Honours do not come much higher than that."









						Johnson is no Machiavelli: his ruthless streak serves only himself
					

The Renaissance thinker, despite his reputation, believed politicians should act decisively to benefit the state. The PM has not done so




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> This was aeon. I seem to remember a couple Waitrose essential products, but don't think I bought any. Not crazy expensive, but slightly more so than the Japanese norm. Same as dried pasta etc I suppose.


Gave your music a go. It's not too bad as hymns to Her Majesty go. Bit frenetic for my tastes - I'm a Radigue man. An hour of absolutely nothing happening at all.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 11, 2021)

Any news? I’ve been away


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Any news? I’ve been away


Abject state broadcaster BBC were leading with Her Majesty's witterings and pontifications on football yesterday so the dear old thing still seems to be in the oxygen in, carbon dioxide out game.


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Every fucking day my Daily Mail pop up informs me what clothes Kate Middleton is wearing. At Wimbledon where she sat in the Royal Box doing such wonderfully hard labour she wore a £695 crepe pink midi dress. The 5.5 million on Universal Credit are all dressed in crap from Primark made in sweatshops in east Asia.









						Kate Middleton looks chic in a £695 crepe pink midi dress at Wimbledon
					

The Duchess of Cambridge looked a vision of summer chic in a £695 crepe midi dress in blush pink by London-based designer Beulah, paired with budget-conscious £30 Aldo shoes.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Argonia (Jul 11, 2021)

Nice to see the Duke of Kent Edward KG GCMG GCVO GC ADC working hard like an Orgreave miner handing out the George Cross to Novak Djokovic at Wimbledon today. Boy does the Duke work hard - it must be agony sitting in the box watching tennis and then having to shake the hands of ball boys. He's the head of 140 charitable organisations so he must be rushed off his feet with all that lying down in bed relaxing which he has to do every day eating toast and marmelade brought to him by David Cameron's Spanish maid Mary Poppins.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 12, 2021)

i see prince charles is now the duke of edinburgh, which - by the arcane rules of the royal family - means he is now his mother's husband


----------



## Argonia (Jul 12, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> i see prince charles is now the duke of edinburgh, which - by the arcane rules of the royal family - means he is now his mother's husband


Percy Bysshe Shelley who nobody read in his short lifetime - just like nobody reads me - once wrote a poem about a brother and sister having sex as liberation which even I think is maybe pushing it a bit. That's sad news though - I just tweeted Queenie to ask her for a date. I want to get Justin Welby to marry us in Wesminster Abbey so I can take over the country and kill Thomas More.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 12, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Percy Bysshe Shelley who nobody read in his short lifetime - just like nobody reads me - once wrote a poem about a brother and sister having sex as liberation which even I think is maybe pushing it a bit. That's sad news though - I just tweeted Queenie to ask her for a date. I want to get Justin Welby to marry us in Wesminster Abbey so I can take over the country and kill Thomas More.


thomas more is already dead, you've missed that particular boat


----------



## Argonia (Jul 12, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> thomas more is already dead, you've missed that particular boat


OK then I'll kill weapons inspector David Kelly instead when Queenie slips the ring on her sweaty finger and French kisses me in front of billions on BBC News 231.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 12, 2021)

Argonia said:


> OK then I'll kill weapons inspector David Kelly instead when Queenie slips the ring on her sweaty finger and French kisses me in front of billions on BBC News 231.


that is not dead which can eternal lie
and with strange aeons even death may die


----------



## stavros (Jul 12, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> i see prince charles is now the duke of edinburgh, which - by the arcane rules of the royal family - means he is now his mother's husband


That does sound odd in such a deep gene pool.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 12, 2021)

stavros said:


> That does sound odd in such a deep gene pool.


It seems to prince edward was told he could be d of e next but charles has gone back on it and wants his ma all to himself

It is the lizard way


----------



## Spanner (Jul 24, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Judging their age by their posts Spanner is the Old Lie


‘Probably younger than you’ whatever that’s worth. You brought age up, so it must be important to you.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jul 24, 2021)

moochedit said:


> You'll know when the queen has really snuffed it (assumming you are in the uk) as it'll be all over the media in miniutes. I learned about phil's death from a bbc news app alert. They will likely interupt tv progs as well. So unless you spend every min on here i doubt urban is where you find out when she finally dies.



I learnt about Phil the Greek when Vanessa Feltz's show was abruptly taken off R2 in the middle of Laura Brannigan's "We Are Young," a song I much enjoy. I imagine for Brenda, they'll see fit to ruin the News Quiz, and as that's currently of the air, she's gonna have to hang on in there. Probably till the episode with Mark Steel


----------



## stavros (Jul 24, 2021)

Hang on for at least two weeks, Ma'am, so as not to fuck up the Olympic coverage.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jul 24, 2021)

If you’re gonna go you better go now, go now, go now.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 25, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> If you’re gonna go you better go now, go now, go now.


Go on now go
Walk out the door
You're not the fascinating lizard I once thought you were


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 28, 2021)

Queen secretly lobbied Scottish ministers for climate law exemption
					

Monarch used secretive procedure to become only person in country not bound by a green energy rule




					www.theguardian.com
				




she is dead to me now


----------



## Chilli.s (Jul 28, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Queen secretly lobbied Scottish ministers for climate law exemption
> 
> 
> Monarch used secretive procedure to become only person in country not bound by a green energy rule
> ...


this is how she stays so rich, always room for a bit more


----------



## brogdale (Jul 28, 2021)

Once made, guillotines are pretty much zero carbon; just saying.


----------



## Raheem (Jul 28, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Once made, guillotines are pretty much zero carbon; just saying.


Only in combination with composting.


----------



## pbsmooth (Jul 28, 2021)

I heard she has Buckingham Palace thermostat on 22 all year round


----------



## MickiQ (Jul 28, 2021)

Mildly disappointed that Sturgeon didn't go for a showdown and railroad it through anyway


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 28, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> this is how she stays so rich, always room for a bit more


Fucking make pate de foie gras reine out of her


----------



## Chilli.s (Jul 28, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Fucking make pate de foie gras reine out of her


it'd have a bitter aftertaste


----------



## Badgers (Jul 29, 2021)

Hopefully soon as her selfishness and greed is killing people 






						Queen secretly lobbied Scottish ministers for climate law exemption | Monarchy | The Guardian
					

Monarch used secretive procedure to become only person in country not bound by a green energy rule




					amp.theguardian.com


----------



## moochedit (Jul 30, 2021)

I see the makers of family guy have made a new hbo cartoon taking the piss out of the royal family. It'll probably be shit but it's got the royalists frothing with rage on the mail comments!


----------



## MickiQ (Jul 30, 2021)

Interestingly all bar two of the cast are British and I recognise a lot of the names Orlando Bloom, Iwan Rheon, Alan Cummings, Sophie Turner and Dan Stevens


----------



## stavros (Jul 30, 2021)

moochedit said:


> I see the makers of family guy have made a new hbo cartoon taking the piss out of the royal family. It'll probably be shit but it's got the royalists frothing with rage on the mail comments!


Are they going for all of them? Whilst _The Windsors_ on C4 was not bad, I thought it lacked the balls to only make occasional reference to the then alive Phil, and never went after the sainted Brenda.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 3, 2021)

More details on London Bridge:








						Security operation for Queen’s death includes social media blackouts
					

Secret documents reveal scale of funeral strategy and government anxieties over resources




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 3, 2021)

bluescreen said:


> More details on London Bridge:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


we need an alternative plan, tentatively codenamed operation garden party, for what we'll do on receipt of this happy news


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 3, 2021)

_The state funeral will be held 10 days after her death and heralded as a “day of national mourning”, *but it will not be an official bank holiday*. If it falls on a weekday it will be left to the discretion of employers to give their staff the day off, and there will be no substitute day off if it falls on a weekend.

The plans ...  contain granular detail such as the potential for public anger if Downing Street cannot lower its flags to half-mast within 10 minutes of the announcement since there is no “flag officer”._

I don't think they have a good understanding of what the public is likely to be angered by.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 3, 2021)

Wait, what, there’s no FUCKING FLAG OFFICER???!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡


----------



## MrCurry (Sep 3, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> Wait, what, there’s no FUCKING FLAG OFFICER???!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡


No one could have known austerity would bite with such cruel effect.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 3, 2021)

Yossarian said:


> _The state funeral will be held 10 days after her death and heralded as a “day of national mourning”, *but it will not be an official bank holiday*. If it falls on a weekday it will be left to the discretion of employers to give their staff the day off, and there will be no substitute day off if it falls on a weekend.
> 
> The plans ...  contain granular detail such as the potential for public anger if Downing Street cannot lower its flags to half-mast within 10 minutes of the announcement since there is no “flag officer”._
> 
> I don't think they have a good understanding of what the public is likely to be angered by.


The public will be angered by whatever the Mail tells them to be angered by.


----------



## magneze (Sep 3, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> Wait, what, there’s no FUCKING FLAG OFFICER???!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡


I hear of one applicant.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 3, 2021)

magneze said:


> I hear of one applicant.
> View attachment 286486


That’s one name for him.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 3, 2021)

Reckon she's on her last vest.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Sep 3, 2021)

MrCurry said:


> No one could have known austerity would bite with such cruel effect.


Can't they nominate someone from the office like they do with the fire wardens? FFS


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 3, 2021)

If we don’t get a bank holiday for her death it’s even more important that she lasts until her 70th anniversary do next year.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 3, 2021)

Whilst I don't expect massive public celebrations when Brenda pegs, I somehow can't imagine that there will be much outrage if Downing St is tardy lowering the flags, the response is liable to be along the lines of 'meh' 
Any suggestion of a social media blackout is interesting as well perhaps no-one who works in the world's fanciest council house has realised that all significant social media is owned by and managed from the (former) Colonies and that not likely to be arsed by anything coming out of Buck House.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 3, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Whilst I don't expect massive public celebrations when Brenda pegs, I somehow can't imagine that there will be much outrage if Downing St is tardy lowering the flags, the response is liable to be along the lines of 'meh'
> Any suggestion of a social media blackout is interesting as well perhaps no-one who works in the world's fanciest council house has realised that all significant social media is owned by and managed from the (former) Colonies and that not likely to be arsed by anything coming out of Buck House.


there will be public outrage if the cabinet do not commit suicide after her death to provide her with their dubious service in the afterlife


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 3, 2021)

I nominate Grant Shapps. Great Britain’s finest flag wanker


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 3, 2021)

It’s going to be absolutely fucking nauseating.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 3, 2021)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> It’s going to be absolutely fucking nauseating.


extremely emetic


----------



## Saul Goodman (Sep 3, 2021)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> It’s going to be absolutely fucking nauseating.


Not in my circle of friends.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 3, 2021)

Saul Goodman said:


> Not in my circle of friends.


There isn’t going to be any escape from it. And I’m willing to bet at least some of your friends will surprise you.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Sep 3, 2021)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> There isn’t going to be any escape from it. And I’m willing to bet at least some of your friends will surprise you.


It's actually quite easy to escape the faux mourning. I don't watch TV, and I get to choose what I read online. I also live 50 yards from from what seems to be a very Irish pub, as I hear lots of screams from the beer garden at weekends when I assume an Irish team scores in some sport thing. I haven't been in the pub yet, as I've only just moved here, and Covid, but I'll be making a reservation when the Queen pops her clogs, as I reckon it'll be the most celebrated event in Ireland's history.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Sep 3, 2021)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> It’s going to be absolutely fucking nauseating.



I'm not so sure. I heard the Prince Philip palaver was a pain, but as I don't watch telly/listen to the radio and only look at what I want to on the internet I kind of missed the worst of it. 

Worst viewing figures in years too!


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 3, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Whilst I don't expect massive public celebrations when Brenda pegs, I somehow can't imagine that there will be much outrage if Downing St is tardy lowering the flags, the response is liable to be along the lines of 'meh'
> Any suggestion of a social media blackout is interesting as well perhaps no-one who works in the world's fanciest council house has realised that all significant social media is owned by and managed from the (former) Colonies and that not likely to be arsed by anything coming out of Buck House.


Yep, probably right. Getting the flag at half mast within ten minutes is not about the general reaction, but the reactions of those royalist nutters who hang around like ghouls at public buildings, always ready for a vox pop for a journalist.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 3, 2021)

See Peter Sissons and his infamous burgundy tie.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 3, 2021)

Any news?


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 3, 2021)

eatmorecheese said:


> Yep, probably right. Getting the flag at half mast within ten minutes is not about the general reaction, but the reactions of those royalist nutters who hang around like ghouls at public buildings, always ready for a vox pop for a journalist.


They not been killed off by the anti-vaxxer ratlickers breathing on them then? How many royalist nutters are left out there?, I noticed that the public wailing and grieving over Phil The Greek seemed to me to be a lot less than what it was when People's Princess shuffled off this mortal coil. Admittedly it was of course in the middle of lockdown but since I avoided it on the telly, the biggest exposure I had to it was on here not the most royalist leaning of forums. There was some wanker on my estate playing the last post on the day of the funeral but that was about it.
I don't think republicanism is very strong in this country but I definitely think royalism is on the wane as well, a few nutters on the telly banging on about lack of respect are probably not going to attract much attention or support especially given we have a goodly supply of other nutters in the form of the ratlickers who seem to getting madder every day.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 3, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> They not been killed off by the anti-vaxxer ratlickers breathing on them then? How many royalist nutters are left out there?, I noticed that the public wailing and grieving over Phil The Greek seemed to me to be a lot less than what it was when People's Princess shuffled off this mortal coil. Admittedly it was of course in the middle of lockdown but since I avoided it on the telly, the biggest exposure I had to it was on here not the most royalist leaning of forums. There was some wanker on my estate playing the last post on the day of the funeral but that was about it.
> I don't think republicanism is very strong in this country but I definitely think royalism is on the wane as well, a few nutters on the telly banging on about lack of respect are probably not going to attract much attention or support especially given we have a goodly supply of other nutters in the form of the ratlickers who seem to getting madder every day.


There is a Charles must never be king lot. But almost without exception they want William to be next on the throne. All it takes for royalism to persist is for good men and women to do nothing.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 3, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> not the most royalist leaning of forums


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 3, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> There is a Charles must never be king lot. But almost without exception they want William to be next on the throne. All it takes for royalism to persist is for good men and women to do nothing.


Chucky will get his bum on the Big Seat, the current Govt has zero interest in constitutional reform and will almost certainly still be in power when Brenda becomes eligible to have her likeness stuck on the spare plinth in Trafalgar.
I know she's a robust old biddy but she's still 95 she can't have many more years left surely (though she might still outlive her son). I'd lay money on it (if I thought I would be alive to collect) that the House of Windsor is in it's final century but it's going to be most of it. Couple of generations left in them yet. My grandsons (4 and 1) have a reasonable chance of seeing the end of the monarchy but neither I or anyone else on this forum will alas.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 3, 2021)

Strangely defeatist talk for a Friday evening; don't you have faith in Pickman's model 's plans for the Saxe-Coburg and Gothas ?


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 3, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Strangely defeatist talk for a Friday evening; don't you have faith in Pickman's model 's plans for the Saxe-Coburg and Gothas ?



There are more than enough  penguins


----------



## not a trot (Sep 3, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Reckon she's on her last vest.
> 
> View attachment 286499



Bet are her Sunlife funeral plan payments up to date.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 3, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Strangely defeatist talk for a Friday evening; don't you have faith in Pickman's model 's plans for the Saxe-Coburg and Gothas ?


TBH I'd much sooner see Chucky on the throne than Billy the Bald, Billy is altogether much more charismatic and generally appealing than his dear old Dad. If he comes to the job whilst he's young and still fairly enthusiastic, there is a distinct possibility he will give it enough of a boost to carry on longer than it naturally should probably into the 22nd century. Better he comes to the throne when he's much older and a bit bitter about waiting so long.
Chucky won't hasten its fall but the slow and steady decline will continue, man is about as inspiring as a bucket of cold sick.


----------



## Spanner (Sep 3, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> The public will be angered by whatever the Mail tells them to be angered by.


I know this is satire, but it’s not true, although I understand why you might think so (middle-Englanders etc). Most people don’t subscribe to this view, just as most people don’t subscribe to the Mail


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 4, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> See Peter Sissons and his infamous burgundy tie.



I'm currently wearing my burgundy tshirt to match my new burgundy socks (this is a thing with me now). Perhaps tune into the news tmoz?


----------



## tim (Sep 4, 2021)

Saul Goodman said:


> It's actually quite easy to escape the faux mourning. I don't watch TV, and I get to choose what I read online. I also live 50 yards from from what seems to be a very Irish pub, as I hear lots of screams from the beer garden at weekends when I assume an Irish team scores in some sport thing. I haven't been in the pub yet, as I've only just moved here, and Covid, but I'll be making a reservation when the Queen pops her clogs, as I reckon it'll be the most celebrated event in Ireland's history.



Don't get your hopes up, it's surprising who she has managed to charm over the years.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Sep 4, 2021)

tim said:


> Don't get your hopes up, it's surprising who she has managed to charm over the years.
> 
> View attachment 286625
> 
> ...


#notmyqueen


----------



## brogdale (Oct 11, 2021)

When she does...tumbril time...


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 12, 2021)

Stop the press!

QUEEN USES WALKING STICK FOR THE FIRST TIME!









						Queen uses walking stick at Westminster Abbey service for Royal British Legion | ITV News
					

It is believed to be the first time she has used a walking aid at a major public event. | ITV National News




					www.itv.com


----------



## brogdale (Oct 12, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Stop the press!
> 
> QUEEN USES WALKING STICK FOR THE FIRST TIME!
> 
> ...


The sub-lizard flesh animatronics are failing?


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 12, 2021)

brogdale said:


> The sub-lizard flesh animatronics are failing?


it's actually a gun, firing a .223 bullet


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 12, 2021)

Rumour has it that when an elderly person starts using a walking stick due to their advancing age, they may only have up to 30 years left to live.


----------



## Wilf (Oct 12, 2021)

magneze said:


> I hear of one applicant.
> View attachment 286486


Well, one of the syllables is correct.


----------



## Elpenor (Oct 12, 2021)

Probably an antenna for communication with the reptilian overlords and maybe it doubles up as a device to destroy the posies of flowers she is given.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 12, 2021)

Now that Johnson has swizzed us all on the 2 days of bank holiday we were supposed to get on her death I for one hope she lives long enough for the next prime minister to overrule this horrible show of disrespect to the greatest living Britain.


----------



## JoeyBoy (Oct 12, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> Now that Johnson has swizzed us all on the 2 days of bank holiday we were supposed to get on her death I for one hope she lives long enough for the next prime minister to overrule this horrible show of disrespect to the greatest living Britain.


What 2 days of Bank Holiday?


----------



## pogofish (Oct 12, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Stop the press!
> 
> QUEEN USES WALKING STICK FOR THE FIRST TIME!
> 
> ...



She’s used walking sticks at Balmoral for years!


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 12, 2021)

JoeyBoy said:


> What 2 days of Bank Holiday?



Historically there have been 2 additional bank holidays when a monarch has died.  One to mourn the death (you know, out of respect like) and one to celebrate the coronation of the new monarch.

Leaked government shit has suggested we won't be getting a bank holiday to mourn our dear old queen.  Johnson and the tories hate the queen and don't give a shit about her dying is the only conclusion we can draw from this.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 12, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Stop the press!
> 
> QUEEN USES WALKING STICK FOR THE FIRST TIME!
> 
> ...


It's not a walking stick, it's a shooting stick. She's preparing for Andrew's 'accident' .


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 12, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> Historically there have been 2 additional bank holidays when a monarch has died.  One to mourn the death (you know, out of respect like) and one to celebrate the coronation of the new monarch.
> 
> Leaked government shit has suggested we won't be getting a bank holiday to mourn our dear old queen.  Johnson and the tories hate the queen and don't give a shit about her dying is the only conclusion we can draw from this.


you say that like hating the queen is a bad thing


----------



## JoeyBoy (Oct 12, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> Historically there have been 2 additional bank holidays when a monarch has died.  One to mourn the death (you know, out of respect like) and one to celebrate the coronation of the new monarch.
> 
> Leaked government shit has suggested we won't be getting a bank holiday to mourn our dear old queen.  Johnson and the tories hate the queen and don't give a shit about her dying is the only conclusion we can draw from this.


Didn't know that, I wasn't born when she was crowned and I don't pay much attention to what the Royals are doing we don't really move in the same circles


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 12, 2021)

JoeyBoy said:


> Didn't know that, I wasn't born when she was crowned and I don't pay much attention to what the Royals are doing we don't really move in the same circles



I am heavily invested in extra bank holidays.


----------



## two sheds (Oct 12, 2021)

or not


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 12, 2021)

pogofish said:


> She’s used walking sticks at Balmoral for years!



That only confirms how much she must be in need of one now. While apparently having enjoyed walking sticks for years she has delayed using them for major public engagements until the last possible moment, making this a massively significant event.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Oct 12, 2021)

Saul Goodman said:


> It's not a walking stick, it's a shooting stick. She's preparing for Andrew's 'accident' .


One can but live in hope.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 12, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> making this a massively significant event.


For her... For those of us who couldn't give a flying fuck if she was dragging herself around on amputated stumps, not so much.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Oct 12, 2021)

My Mum doesn't just use one walking stick she uses two, so fuck you Queen and your single stick!!


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 12, 2021)

QueenOfGoths said:


> My Mum doesn't just use one walking stick she uses two, so fuck you Queen and your single stick!!


her other stick is a light sabre


----------



## moochedit (Oct 15, 2021)

She's been told to stay off the sauce!  









						Queen gives up drinking after advice from doctors
					

Monarch, 95, decides to turn down tipples and is understood to want to remain in best shape possible ahead of jubilee




					www.telegraph.co.uk


----------



## Elpenor (Oct 15, 2021)

Probably exhausted the remnants of her mother and sister’s cellars.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 15, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Probably exhausted the remnants of her mother and sister’s cellars.


Is Gin kept in cellars?


----------



## Elpenor (Oct 15, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Is Gin kept in cellars?


Dubonnet might be


----------



## brogdale (Oct 15, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Dubonnet might be


----------



## stavros (Oct 15, 2021)

The Queen has appeared to suggest she is irritated by people who "talk" but "don't do", ahead of next month's climate change summit.

She of course, ever consistent, does neither.


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 15, 2021)

No wonder she is irritated:









						Queen advised by royal doctors to stop drinking every day | JOE.co.uk
					

Queen Elizabeth II, who celebrates her Platinum Jubilee next June, has been urged by doctors to give up her evening cocktail.




					www.joe.co.uk


----------



## 5t3IIa (Oct 15, 2021)

When the title of this thread changes to ‘The Queen has died’ no one is going to notice for ages.


----------



## Raheem (Oct 15, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Is Gin kept in cellars?


Probably half-drunk bottles just about everywhere in Clarence House.


----------



## T & P (Oct 15, 2021)

Her mother and Phil must both be spinning in their graves…

Bad mistake I reckon. That lot seems to thrive on booze.


----------



## Carvaged (Oct 15, 2021)

The booze is probably the only thing keeping the rot at bay 🤷‍♀️


----------



## Dom Traynor (Oct 16, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> I am heavily invested in extra bank holidays.


What I don't understand is why the Queens Birthday is a public holiday in NZ where I am, and in Aussie but not in the Motherland.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Oct 16, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> The booze is probably the only thing keeping the rot at bay her from shapeshifting back to a lizard 🤷‍♀️


CFY.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Oct 16, 2021)

Dom Traynor said:


> What I don't understand is why the Queens Birthday is a public holiday in NZ where I am, and in Aussie but not in the Motherland.


Probably because of the Glorious Revolution.


----------



## T & P (Oct 16, 2021)

Given that Charles has spent so much of his life wishing and waiting to become King, it’d be quite funny if she ends up outliving him.


----------



## stavros (Oct 16, 2021)

Dom Traynor said:


> What I don't understand is why the Queens Birthday is a public holiday in NZ where I am, and in Aussie but not in the Motherland.


They have plenty of public holidays.


----------



## Fez909 (Oct 20, 2021)

Queen cancels Northern Ireland trip and is told to rest
					

Buckingham Palace says monarch has ‘reluctantly accepted medical advice to rest for next few days’




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## moochedit (Oct 20, 2021)

Fez909 said:


> Queen cancels Northern Ireland trip and is told to rest
> 
> 
> Buckingham Palace says monarch has ‘reluctantly accepted medical advice to rest for next few days’
> ...



She's in the betty ford clinic.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 20, 2021)

Promising news... 

Queen cancels trip to Northern Ireland after being told to rest









						Queen cancels Northern Ireland trip after doctors advise her to 'rest for next few days'
					

The Queen's decision is understood not to be related to coronavirus.




					f7td5.app.goo.gl


----------



## Limejuice (Oct 20, 2021)

Badgers said:


> Promising news...
> 
> Queen cancels trip to Northern Ireland after being told to rest
> 
> ...


She just wants to be match fit for the Six Nations. Let's face it, those scrums take it out of you at her age.


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 20, 2021)

Badgers said:


> Promising news...
> 
> Queen cancels trip to Northern Ireland after being told to rest
> 
> ...



Normally that's just code for "she can't be arsed" or "she'd rather look at some horses".


----------



## Elpenor (Oct 20, 2021)

Hopefully she can keep going until we’ve had our bank holidays for her 70th next year. That seems a fair compromise


----------



## Serene (Oct 20, 2021)

Dom Traynor said:


> What I don't understand is why the Queens Birthday is a public holiday in NZ where I am, and in Aussie but not in the Motherland.


It might be to make sure that they remember who she is and what her title is down under.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 20, 2021)

Fez909 said:


> Queen cancels Northern Ireland trip and is told to rest
> 
> 
> Buckingham Palace says monarch has ‘reluctantly accepted medical advice to rest for next few days’
> ...


Those _London Bridge _piers starting to crack?


----------



## Elpenor (Oct 20, 2021)

Having thought about it I’ve decided it’s probably due to the increased covid rates, but Buckingham Palace don’t want to embarrass the government.


----------



## Idris2002 (Oct 20, 2021)




----------



## Teaboy (Oct 20, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Having thought about it I’ve decided it’s probably due to the increased covid rates, but Buckingham Palace don’t want to embarrass the government.



Yes, this seems very likely.


----------



## gosub (Oct 20, 2021)

moochedit said:


> She's in the betty ford clinic.


tbf I my Dr told me not to drink, I'd cancel any plans I had to visit Ireland.


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Having thought about it I’ve decided it’s probably due to the increased covid rates, but Buckingham Palace don’t want to embarrass the government.



If she had Covid herself, do you think they'd admit it? Genuine question. On the one hand, think how much bad news the govt could bury while all the media went for blanket covid queen news. On the other, Our Monarch In Danger might push even many right-wingers towards supporting new lockdowns etc.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> If she had Covid herself, do you think they'd admit it? Genuine question. On the one hand, think how much bad news the govt could bury while all the media went for blanket covid queen news. On the other, Our Monarch In Danger might push even many right-wingers towards supporting new lockdowns etc.



I suspect they would try everything to cover it up, especially if it did for her.  Whether they would be able to cover it up is another matter.


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 20, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> I suspect they would try everything to cover it up, especially if it did for her.  Whether they would be able to cover it up is another matter.



Yeah just like they did with Charles and William.


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Yeah just like they did with Charles and William.



They died of Covid?


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> They died of Covid?



No, but you asked "if she had Covid herself, do you think they'd admit it?"


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> No, but you asked "if she had Covid herself, do you think they'd admit it?"



Yeah but that's not the post you quoted, so I was a bit confused ...


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> Yeah but that's not the post you quoted, so I was a bit confused ...



Well I was commenting on someone else's answer to your question.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Yeah just like they did with Charles and William.



Totally different timing and circumstances.


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

Anyway, fingers crossed she gets it, so we'll get to find out what 'they' will do


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> Anyway, fingers crossed she gets it, so we'll get to find out what 'they' will do



But if there's a great conspiracy to cover it up, we'll only find out from conspiracy theorists.


----------



## tim (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> Anyway, fingers crossed she gets it, so we'll get to find out what 'they' will do


They will call Ambrose Chappell, of course.


----------



## ska invita (Oct 20, 2021)

Badgers said:


> being told to rest...


...in peace 🙏


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> But if there's a great conspiracy to cover it up, we'll only find out from conspiracy theorists.



I apply the stopped clock principle to conspiracy theorists and unquestioningly believe one in every twelve.


----------



## flypanam (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> Anyway, fingers crossed she gets it, so we'll get to find out what 'they' will do


And this is why we need David’s Law…wishing ill on your betters is like stabbing the monarch through the eye with a screwdriver.


----------



## tim (Oct 20, 2021)

flypanam said:


> And this is why we need David’s Law…wishing ill on your betters is like stabbing the monarch through the eye with a screwdriver.



24 And again I say unto you, It is easier for a screwdriver to go through the eye of a monarch, than for an oik to enter into the kingdom of God.


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

flypanam said:


> And this is why we need David’s Law…wishing ill on your betters is like stabbing the monarch through the eye with a screwdriver.



Why did you think I did it?




David's Law ain't gonna be retrospective, is it? They can't touch me for this, right?


----------



## T & P (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> I apply the stopped clock principle to conspiracy theorists and unquestioningly believe one in every twelve.


Ah, you’ve made a critical error there. It should be one in every 720 (number of minutes in a 12-hour cycle).


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

T & P said:


> Ah, you’ve made a critical error there. It should be one in every 720 (number of minutes in a 12-hour cycle).



That's just what They _want _you to think ...


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 20, 2021)

I suppose there's a very real chance of johnsons miss management killing the queen


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> miss management


That's the lady he visits every three weeks to have hot wax dripped on his scrotum and stuff, right? Quite a coincidence, that name.


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> That's the lady he visits every three weeks to have hot wax dripped on his scrotum and stuff, right? Quite a coincidence, that name.


disslexic dyslexic whatever


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 20, 2021)

T & P said:


> Ah, you’ve made a critical error there. It should be one in every 720 (number of minutes in a 12-hour cycle).



Although, somewhat suspiciously, 12 is a seemingly portentous number for her:

The Queen's death will trigger an official 12-day period of national mourning

Meet all of Queen Elizabeth's 12 great-grandchildren


----------



## JimW (Oct 20, 2021)

If she dies will they make London a city?


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 20, 2021)

a 12 day holiday


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> disslexic dyslexic whatever



Sorry, man, I wouldn't usually make fun of someone's typo but that one was too good to pass up


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

JimW said:


> If she dies will they make London a city?



As Ross Noble says, 'it's done quite well for itself, that "London Town", hasn't it?'


----------



## tim (Oct 20, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> a 12 day holiday


What gifts would one expect to receive from one's true love on each of those days?


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 20, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> Sorry, man, I wouldn't usually make fun of someone's typo but that one was too good to pass up


'S all ok, looking back at it it still looks right to me apart from johnson, spelling jokes are far far over my head, glad to entertain


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 20, 2021)

tim said:


> What gifts would one expect to receive from one's true love on each of those days?


beer everyday and a roast swan dinner to top it off?


----------



## elbows (Oct 20, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> a 12 day holiday



They could kill two birds with one stone by making it double up as a covid circuit breaker.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 20, 2021)

Lizard shape shifters can’t catch covid


----------



## Serene (Oct 20, 2021)

The Queen has said that she has never met Prince Andrew, and that if anyone needs her she will be in the Pub.


----------



## pbsmooth (Oct 20, 2021)

I'd imagine she's been asked to die as a distraction from the high covid numbers


----------



## Serene (Oct 20, 2021)

Inbetween sitting on chairs for the last 50 years she has become a billionaire, and is remembered for her speeches condemning cultural appropriation.


----------



## not a trot (Oct 20, 2021)

flypanam said:


> And this is why we need David’s Law…wishing ill on your betters is like stabbing the monarch through the eye with a screwdriver.



Cross head or flat head.


----------



## Sue (Oct 20, 2021)

Dom Traynor said:


> What I don't understand is why the Queens Birthday is a public holiday in NZ where I am, and in Aussie but not in the Motherland.


I for one would welcome another BH.


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 20, 2021)

Is she dead yet? Can someone PM me or tag me in here when she karks it?

Ta.


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 20, 2021)

She will outlive us all


----------



## planetgeli (Oct 20, 2021)




----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 20, 2021)

She's got to be on her last legs now right? All this press is cover for her shedding her skin and retiring to the mother ship. Planets fucked anyways.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 20, 2021)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> She's got to be on her last legs now right? All this press is cover for her shedding her skin and retiring to the mother ship. Planets fucked anyways.



Have they said she is in "good spirits" yet?


----------



## tim (Oct 20, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Have they said she is in "good spirits" yet?



She's sulking and refusing to come out to play because they've stopped her indulging in her good spirits


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 20, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> Is she dead yet? Can someone PM me or tag me in here when she karks it?
> 
> Ta.


Why are you asking us? I think we've established we'll be the last to know (well, Nicholas Witchell will probably be after us, but only him)


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 20, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Have they said she is in "good spirits" yet?


Yeah, in the statement from the Palace this afternoon. Not sure why they cannot just say she has coughed up a lung and just be honest with people


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 20, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Have they said she is in "good spirits" yet?


Yes they're preserving her in vsop


----------



## Flavour (Oct 20, 2021)

Do you reckon they will do minute's silences before football games or will they not risk it for fear of all the loud cheering as with Thatcher


----------



## Flavour (Oct 20, 2021)

What picture of her will they go for on the front pages?


----------



## elbows (Oct 20, 2021)

tim said:


> She's sulking and refusing to come out to play because they've stopped her indulging in her good spirits



She returned some abnormally high cholesterol results that made them suspect she has resorted to syphoning off the 'cheese and wine' fuel that Charles runs his car on.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 20, 2021)

"Hey, queenie, I think I know how we can stop #sweatynonce from trending..."


----------



## stavros (Oct 20, 2021)

Flavour said:


> Do you reckon they will do minute's silences before football games or will they not risk it for fear of all the loud cheering as with Thatcher


At the Etihad they're planning 90 minutes silence.


----------



## Riklet (Oct 20, 2021)

I suspect she genuinely is burnt out. She may well have had a booster vaccine and had some fatigue or sthing from that... I doubt they'd let her get covid! 95 so no spring chicken anymore with the Busy Royal Schedule...


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 20, 2021)

stavros said:


> At the Etihad they're planning 90 minutes silence.


So business as usual?


----------



## BobDavis (Oct 21, 2021)

This thread is good for another 15 years yet.


----------



## billy_bob (Oct 21, 2021)

BobDavis said:


> This thread is good for another 15 years yet.


I'd say it's about 60-40 against the 'Prince Charles has died' one being needed before this one's done.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 21, 2021)

billy_bob said:


> I'd say it's about 60-40 against the 'Prince Charles has died' one being needed before this one's done.


Fair call given his very obvious oedema.


----------



## not a trot (Oct 21, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Fair call given his very obvious oedema.
> 
> View attachment 293582



Looks like a spiv, in that fucking suit.


----------



## Sue (Oct 21, 2021)

elbows said:


> She returned some abnormally high cholesterol results that made them suspect she has resorted to syphoning off the 'cheese and wine' fuel that Charles runs his car on.


TBF, it does seem a terrible waste of cheese and wine.

(Unless it's very bad cheese and wine and even then...)


----------



## brogdale (Oct 21, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Looks like a spiv, in that fucking suit.


tbf he's only using one of his sausage hands to lift the glass.


----------



## nogojones (Oct 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Yes they're preserving her in vsop



Given the amount we pay for her I'd like to think she was getting XO


----------



## nogojones (Oct 21, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> a 12 day holiday


Don't be silly. It's 12 days where you still have to turn up to work, but look sad and burst into tears now and again. Pretty much business as usual.


----------



## 8ball (Oct 21, 2021)

nogojones said:


> Don't be silly. It's 12 days where you still have to turn up to work, but look sad and burst into tears now and again. Pretty much business as usual.



Basically you're now allowed to cry _outside_ the loo.


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 21, 2021)

nogojones said:


> Don't be silly. It's 12 days where you still have to turn up to work, but look sad and burst into tears now and again. Pretty much business as usual.


I think my boss is going to be surprised how overwhelmed I'm going to be, sincerely expect to be worse than useless


----------



## moochedit (Oct 21, 2021)

BBC News - Queen spent night in hospital after cancelling trip








						The Queen back at Windsor after hospital stay
					

She is "in good spirits" after a one-night stay for preliminary medical checks, Buckingham Palace says.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Sue (Oct 21, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> I think my boss is going to be surprised how overwhelmed I'm going to be, sincerely expect to be worse than useless


My boss is American so I reckon I might just about be able to pull it off.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 21, 2021)

moochedit said:


> BBC News - Queen spent night in hospital after cancelling trip
> 
> 
> 
> ...


_In good spirits_

Promising.


----------



## Sue (Oct 21, 2021)

brogdale said:


> _In good spirits_
> 
> Promising.


I do miss the days of the Queen Mum and her fishbone roulette.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 21, 2021)

brogdale said:


> _In good spirits_
> 
> Promising.


Stomach pump?


----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Oct 21, 2021)

Back at Windsor and in amongst the good spirits


----------



## Flavour (Oct 21, 2021)

love it. more of this good spirits chat.


----------



## Sue (Oct 21, 2021)

Zapp Brannigan said:


> Back at Windsor and in amongst the good spirits


Tbf if I was the queen, I'd be having the best spirits ever. And loads and loads of crisps.


----------



## tim (Oct 22, 2021)

Zapp Brannigan said:


> Back at Windsor and in amongst the good spirits


And soon to join then, late night jaunts in Windsor Great Park, disturbed by a diminutive figure on horseback repeating the phrase "And what do you do?"


----------



## moochedit (Oct 22, 2021)

8am approaches


----------



## tim (Oct 22, 2021)

.





moochedit said:


> 8am approaches



Commuters are already begining to avoid "London Bridge".


----------



## brogdale (Oct 22, 2021)

On ice until they need to distract from lockdown 4


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 22, 2021)

nicholas wichell on breakfast telly sounding concerned...


----------



## Aladdin (Oct 22, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Looks like a spiv, in that fucking suit.



David Dickenson lent it to him..


----------



## Storm Fox (Oct 22, 2021)

Mrs Fox, just told me that her company has ordered packaging for the Platinum Jubilee and hopes she makes it, "It not as though we can spray paint them black"


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 22, 2021)

They've learned well from killing Paul McCartney, taking the lizard queen into the front door of the hospital and a fake human queen emerged at the back


----------



## ska invita (Oct 22, 2021)

"Elizabeth, who is queen of _15 other realms _including Australia, Canada and New Zealand, returned to her desk for work on Thursday afternoon and was undertaking some light duties*, the source said." 


(*Making a will)


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 22, 2021)

ska invita said:


> "Elizabeth, who is queen of 15 other realms including Australia, Canada and New Zealand, returned to her desk for work on Thursday afternoon and was undertaking some light duties*, the source said."
> 
> 
> (*Making a will)


Undertaking light duties means interviewing staff and terminating any who suspect the swap


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 22, 2021)

ska invita said:


> "Elizabeth, who is queen of 15 other realms including Australia, Canada and New Zealand, returned to her desk for work on Thursday afternoon and was undertaking some light duties*, the source said."
> 
> 
> (*Making a will)



Note the headline mentions she is "in good spirits" after a night in hospital.

Exactly the same was said about Philip after he spent a night in hospital on 16th March, and he was dead within a month:









						Prince Philip 'in good spirits' as he shares rare message thanking well-wishers
					

Prince Philip has left King Edward VII’s Hospital in Marylebone, London, and is back at Windsor Castle with his wife, the Queen




					www.mirror.co.uk


----------



## tim (Oct 22, 2021)

ska invita said:


> "Elizabeth, who is queen of 15 other realms including Australia, Canada and New Zealand, returned to her desk for work on Thursday afternoon and was undertaking some light duties*, the source said."
> 
> 
> (*Making a will)



Leaving her realms to her favourite corgi.


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Oct 22, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> nicholas wichell on breakfast telly sounding concerned...


God, it must be so embarrassing being Nicholas Wichell


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 22, 2021)

Kevbad the Bad said:


> God, it must be so embarrassing being Nicholas Wichell



Kind of exciting though, no? You know one day you'll get _the_ call, one of the first to know, rush to Buckingham Palace...


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 22, 2021)

Is Nicholas Witchell allowed to have blue lights on his car?


----------



## brogdale (Oct 22, 2021)

ska invita said:


> "Elizabeth, who is queen of _15 other realms _including Australia, Canada and New Zealand, returned to her desk for work on Thursday afternoon and was undertaking some light duties*, the source said."
> 
> 
> (*Making a will)


That "desk"; those "light duties".


----------



## ska invita (Oct 22, 2021)

more light duties: "i can see a very bright light coming towards me - is that normal?"


----------



## klang (Oct 22, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Exactly the same was said about Philip after he spent a night in hospital on 16th March, and he was dead within a month:


----------



## two sheds (Oct 22, 2021)

ska invita said:


> more light duties: "i can see a very bright light coming towards me - is that normal?"


and mentioning undertaking in the same sentence isn't that considerate either


----------



## brogdale (Oct 22, 2021)

ska invita said:


> more light duties: "i can see a very bright light coming towards me - is that normal?"


Note the placement of the word _*undertaking *_in that piece you linked to.

They're softening up the nation.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 22, 2021)

two sheds said:


> and mentioning undertaking in the same sentence isn't that considerate either


snappy snap.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Oct 22, 2021)

Not sure that I'm looking forward to the old bat dying.  The vile sycophantic outpouring that engulfs the country afterwards will be very hard to live with.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 22, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Not sure that I'm looking forward to the old bat dying.  The vile sycophantic outpouring that engulfs the country afterwards will be very hard to live with.


True, but Covid will be over for a long while...we won't have to hear about all those dreary little people dying etc.


----------



## klang (Oct 22, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Not sure that I'm looking forward to the old bat dying.  The vile sycophantic outpouring that engulfs the country afterwards will be very hard to live with.


it's a small price to pay, it will be worth it


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 22, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Not sure that I'm looking forward to the old bat dying.  The vile sycophantic outpouring that engulfs the country afterwards will be very hard to live with.


Let's get it done so it doesn't ruin xmas


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 22, 2021)

Wearing a black tie.... just in case she falls off her perch today. Saves him getting changed.  Also the 'good spirits' thing is being ramped up to the max in the media. I fear her demise is imminent.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 22, 2021)

Barbados are kicking HRH out next month I think. She will be surely upset as they wrest control. Another step in the Cliff Richard master plan to take over the world .


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 22, 2021)

Though to be fair, the Poisoned Carrot only gets wheeled out for stuff like this these days so he might only have one tie


----------



## Elpenor (Oct 22, 2021)

Witchell doesn’t look long for this world either. Presumably he will go on to be royal correspondent in the afterlife, providing updates beyond the grave


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 22, 2021)

The timing could be a thing of beauty; Brenda carks it, her dough spread around her descendants, He Who Cannot Sweat will clearly need a lump as he has 'no discernible income', New York court find against the sweaty paedo and awards Ms Giuffre the fucking lot. Brother Charlie evicts the dirty nonce from Royal Lodge.

In an unrelated movie some years later we see Andy and Sarah sat under a bridge dressed in rags when a mysterious Tajikistani prince dumps a wedge of notes in to his lap...


----------



## DownwardDog (Oct 22, 2021)

The joy I am going to feel will soon be eclipsed by the continuous need to check the 'Has the King died?" thread.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Oct 22, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Not sure that I'm looking forward to the old bat dying.  The vile sycophantic outpouring that engulfs the country afterwards will be very hard to live with.



I reckon there'll be a few entertainingly awkward moments as the outpouring is rather less engulfing than they're trying to whip up tbh.


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 22, 2021)

The Queen is not going anywhere.  

Her mum lived forever and look how long they managed to keep Phil the Racist alive when he was years after his use before date.  I predict another decade of similar news stories as she battles on to serve the country.


----------



## souljacker (Oct 22, 2021)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> I reckon there'll be a few entertainingly awkward moments as the outpouring is rather less engulfing than they're trying to whip up tbh.


I'm readying the BBC complaints form as we speak and I hope others are with me.


----------



## ska invita (Oct 22, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Not sure that I'm looking forward to the old bat dying.  The vile sycophantic outpouring that engulfs the country afterwards will be very hard to live with.


Standard day in blighty tbf, bring it on (just turn the TV off)


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Oct 22, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> The Queen is not going anywhere.
> 
> Her mum lived forever and look how long they managed to keep Phil the Racist alive when he was years after his use before date.  I predict another decade of similar news stories as she battles on to serve the country.


Yeah she'll be fine. She'll live to atleast 110, maybe longer.


----------



## Elpenor (Oct 22, 2021)

ska invita said:


> Standard day in blighty tbf, bring it on (just turn the TV off)


Or as with Phil’s death - just stick on Netflix instead


----------



## bluescreen (Oct 22, 2021)

Florists.


----------



## Aladdin (Oct 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Undertaking light duties means interviewing staff and terminating any who suspect the swap



Or maybe she just wanted to dodge a bullet...


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 22, 2021)

Sugar Kane said:


> Or maybe she just wanted to dodge a bullet...


everyone knows that only a knife at the base of the skull will kill her


----------



## BassJunkie (Oct 22, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Cross head or flat head.


_Phillip's_ head, surely?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 22, 2021)

Any news ? I have been in the bath with a viz annual and am about an hour behind in everything


----------



## moochedit (Oct 22, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Any news ? I have been in the bath with a viz annual and am about an hour behind in everything


You need to put your clocks forward 2 hours on sunday then.


----------



## DotCommunist (Oct 22, 2021)

Teaboy said:


> The Queen is not going anywhere.
> 
> Her mum lived forever and look how long they managed to keep Phil the Racist alive when he was years after his use before date.  I predict another decade of similar news stories as she battles on to serve the country.


But they've activated the Witchell, surely that is significant.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 22, 2021)

DotCommunist said:


> But they've activated the Witchell, surely that is significant.


And she's in "good spirits"


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 22, 2021)

"light duties" is a welcome ominous sign. They never even claimed Greek Phil was doing light duties.


----------



## Sue (Oct 22, 2021)

DotCommunist said:


> But they've activated the Witchell, surely that is significant.


He was on R4 news being a bit cynical about the 'good spirits' thing and said something about 'if we can believe the Palace' which I thought was interesting.


----------



## BoxRoom (Oct 22, 2021)




----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Oct 22, 2021)

moochedit said:


> And she's in "good spirits"



I think that means she's located Princess Margaret's drinks cabinet.


----------



## not a trot (Oct 22, 2021)

Sugar Kane said:


> Or maybe she just wanted to dodge a bullet...


Best she keeps away from any film sets.


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 22, 2021)




----------



## ElizabethofYork (Oct 22, 2021)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> I think that means she's located Princess Margaret's drinks cabinet.


Death by Dubonnet


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 22, 2021)

here, he is really really close to calling the Queen a dishonest lair which could have been career ending.


----------



## MrCurry (Oct 22, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> here, he is really really close to calling the Queen a dishonest lair which could have been career ending.



He looks like a lizard. Has close proximity to the Royals for an extended period had consequences for him?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Oct 22, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> here, he is really really close to calling the Queen a dishonest lair which could have been career ending.



He's pissed off that after years of dedicated forelock-tugging, he wasn't given any inside info.


----------



## bluescreen (Oct 22, 2021)

He must be really pissed off that the Palace didn't confide in him. He's discovered he knows no more than any other commoner.


----------



## not a trot (Oct 22, 2021)

bluescreen said:


> He must be really pissed off that the Palace didn't confide in him. He's discovered he knows no more than any other commoner.



Madge tells Royal Arse kisser to go fuck himself, is an unlikely headline.


----------



## 2hats (Oct 22, 2021)

moochedit said:


> And she's in "good spirits"


Like Nelson after Trafalgar?


----------



## Sue (Oct 22, 2021)

2hats said:


> Like Nelson after Trafalgar?


Before or after he was pickled in a barrel of brandy..,?


----------



## moochedit (Oct 22, 2021)

Getting all tin foil "Good Spirits" is clearly a coded message to councils etc meaning "amber alert. She's on her deathbed. Get your suits etc ready" with "London bridge falling down" meaning "red alert. She's dead. Lower your flags etc"


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 22, 2021)

I have been reliably informed by a palace insider that 'resting' equals 'deep coma'. Look out for further references to resting.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 22, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> I have been reliably informed by a palace insider that 'resting' equals 'deep coma'. Look out for further references to resting.


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 22, 2021)

So the Queen records her Christmas message this time of year. If she carks it will they show the Queen's or will they show a new one for King Charlie? Or a mash up?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 22, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Madge tells Royal Arse kisser to go fuck himself, is an unlikely headline.




Dunno, Charlie had this to say about Whitchell,




			
				Chaz said:
			
		

> I can't bear that man anyway. He's so awful, he really is


----------



## skyscraper101 (Oct 22, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> So the Queen records her Christmas message this time of year. If she carks it will they show the Queen's or will they show a new one for King Charlie? Or a mash up?



They'll air a special: Queen - Greatest Hits


----------



## pesh (Oct 22, 2021)

hopefully edited by Cassetteboy


----------



## elbows (Oct 22, 2021)

BoxRoom said:


>




Is that from the death of Tom Bakers Doctor Who? The media will certainly have something to get their teeth into if her death involves plummeting from a Jodrell Bank telescope.



> His three companions see the Watcher appear, and the Doctor explains that "It's the end... but the moment has been prepared for."


----------



## elbows (Oct 22, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> I have been reliably informed by a palace insider that 'resting' equals 'deep coma'. Look out for further references to resting.



Alternatively, after being told not to drink anymore by her doctors, she decided to take a pungent leaf out of John Le Mesuriers book by switching to weed instead. Perhaps resulting in a panic attack that ended with a precautionary hospital stay.


----------



## Yossarian (Oct 22, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> So the Queen records her Christmas message this time of year. If she carks it will they show the Queen's or will they show a new one for King Charlie? Or a mash up?



This time, she's recording 50 years of Christmas messages before she's sealed in the cryogenic chamber.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 22, 2021)

elbows said:


> Alternatively, after being told not to drink anymore by her doctors, she decided to take a pungent leaf out of John Le Mesuriers book by switching to weed instead. Perhaps resulting in a panic attack that ended with a precautionary hospital stay.




A royal whitey.


----------



## TopCat (Oct 22, 2021)

Nearly the end of an era. Hopefully her death will hasten the demise of the despicable institution she represents.


----------



## T & P (Oct 22, 2021)

Yossarian said:


> This time, she's recording 50 years of Christmas messages before she's sealed in the cryogenic chamber.


“As we wave goodbye to 2071, our nation remains full of hope that Brexit is just about to start delivering a new era of prosperity for all”.


----------



## elbows (Oct 22, 2021)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> A royal whitey.



Soon to be immortalised on the album Blowbacks for Corgis.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 22, 2021)

TopCat said:


> Nearly the end of an era. Hopefully her death will hasten the demise of the despicable institution she represents.


I don't know how it has survived as long as it has, yet it still has plenty of supporters. Apparently, about half of the UK support the monarchy. The mind boggles.


----------



## TopCat (Oct 22, 2021)

Saul Goodman said:


> I don't know how it has survived as long as it has, yet it still has plenty of supporters. Apparently, about half of the UK support the monarchy. The mind boggles.


I think much of that support stems from an affection to/for her. I don't think it will transfer to Charles very well at all!


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 22, 2021)

In truth I really hope she is in good health. What use are two covid-addled November bank holidays? Next summer beckons.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 22, 2021)

Yossarian said:


> This time, she's recording 50 years of Christmas messages before she's sealed in the cryogenic chamber.


Or anus quinquaginta, as she might style it.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 22, 2021)




----------



## not a trot (Oct 22, 2021)

T & P said:


> “As we wave goodbye to 2071, our nation remains full of hope that Brexit is just about to start delivering a new era of prosperity for all”.



And Spurs supporters still await their first  league champions honour in over 110 years.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 22, 2021)

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II Has Died


----------



## Sue (Oct 22, 2021)

Obviously a fake. A grey spotty tie indeed.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 22, 2021)

Sue said:


> Obviously a fake. A grey spotty tie indeed.


it was the best he could borrow from one of his teachers


----------



## Sue (Oct 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> it was the best he could borrow from one of his teachers


Well after The Affair of the Burgundy Tie, lessons were surely learned...?


----------



## Idris2002 (Oct 22, 2021)

She hated Thatcher, at least if the stories we heard in Ireland in the '80s were true. That has to count for something, surely?


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 22, 2021)

Idris2002 said:


> She hated Thatcher, at least if the stories we heard in Ireland in the '80s were true. That has to count for something, surely?


Everybody hated Thatcher. Even the Dalai Lama hated her*. 


*citation needed


----------



## stavros (Oct 22, 2021)

pesh said:


> hopefully edited by Cassetteboy


----------



## Badgers (Oct 23, 2021)




----------



## Epona (Oct 23, 2021)

If she's been told to stop drinking is it not more than likely that she is on a (at home and presided over by the best medical team) 10 day detox right now?


----------



## Aladdin (Oct 23, 2021)

Epona said:


> If she's been told to stop drinking is it not more than likely that she is on a (at home and presided over by the best medical team) 10 day detox right now?



It's a bit shit telling old people to stop doing something they enjoy...At that age they should get whatever enjoyment they can out of life...
95 and she has to stop drinking?? 
Like...for what??


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 23, 2021)

I fell asleep. Any news?


----------



## Badgers (Oct 23, 2021)

I just woke up. Any news?


----------



## ska invita (Oct 23, 2021)

Badgers said:


> I just woke up. Any news?


Todays Daily Telegraph talking about a "mystery illness" that resulted in "24 hours" in hospital


----------



## brogdale (Oct 23, 2021)

ska invita said:


> Todays Daily Telegraph talking about a "mystery illness" that resulted in "24 hours" in hospital


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 23, 2021)

Queen got the rona and if she dies its boris fault


----------



## Badgers (Oct 23, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> Queen got the rona and if she dies its boris fault


First he ruined Christmas and now he is murdering our queen. 

God save...


----------



## ska invita (Oct 23, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> Queen got the rona and if she dies its boris fault


Let the royal bodies pile high


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 23, 2021)

Badgers said:


> First he ruined Christmas and now he is murdering our queen.
> 
> God save...


Murdering the queen still carries the auld penalty of being fed alive to ravens in the tower. This will yet work to our advantage


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 23, 2021)

ska invita said:


> Let the royal bodies pile high


But not above 3' as the machine that makes the pengo pellets gets stuck if they are


----------



## Badgers (Oct 23, 2021)

Poor Andrew will be worrying in case Charlie is not so keen to protect him #sweaty


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 23, 2021)

Badgers said:


> Poor Andrew will be worrying in case Charlie is not so keen to protect him #sweaty


Charles is one of the keenest but daftest supporters of the pengo project as he thinks that by backing it he can throw opponents and foul siblings under the bus (or rather into the pengo machine) and stay king. He will rather be an emperor! Or fed to one anyway


----------



## Badgers (Oct 23, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Charles is one of the keenest but daftest supporters of the pengo project as he thinks that by backing it he can throw opponents and foul siblings under the bus (or rather into the pengo machine) and stay king. He will rather be an emperor! Or fed to one anyway


Time for the Earl of Wessex to step up and prove his might as a leader.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 23, 2021)

Apart from the massive land holdings, wealth and shit , the HRH probabyisnt a bad old sort in a personal level Like objectively. Doesn’t excuse stuff tho


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 23, 2021)

Edge lord /


----------



## SpookyFrank (Oct 23, 2021)

ska invita said:


> Todays Daily Telegraph talking about a "mystery illness" that resulted in "24 hours" in hospital



Mystery illness. She's 95 for fuck's sake, the illness is called 'natural causes'.


----------



## ska invita (Oct 23, 2021)

SpookyFrank said:


> Mystery illness. She's 95 for fuck's sake, the illness is called 'natural causes'.


Illness gives us more to hope for


----------



## stavros (Oct 23, 2021)

SpookyFrank said:


> Mystery illness. She's 95 for fuck's sake, the illness is called 'natural causes'.


95 is young for a Telegraph reader.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 26, 2021)




----------



## moochedit (Oct 26, 2021)

Badgers said:


> View attachment 294290



pulling a sickie to get out of the cop26 thingy?


----------



## ska invita (Oct 26, 2021)

moochedit said:


> pulling a sickie to get out of the cop26 thingy?


Pulling a sickie to get out of the Life thingy


----------



## magneze (Oct 26, 2021)

Deepfakes will keep her attending virtual audiences for many years.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 26, 2021)

Badgers said:


> View attachment 294290



Or can't they trust her with the other world leaders anymore?


----------



## Badgers (Oct 26, 2021)

ska invita said:


> Pulling a sickie to get out of the Life thingy



Leaving little alone to face the music?


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 26, 2021)

I don't think she's very well.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 26, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> I don't think she's very well.


Her son's a nonce. It'd sicken any mother.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 26, 2021)

She looked fit for work last time she was on telly


----------



## ska invita (Oct 26, 2021)

Saul Goodman said:


> Her son's a nonce. It'd sicken any mother.


also








						Why winter is so much more dangerous for elderly people
					

The cold temperatures can be a killer.




					metro.co.uk
				












						Why the elderly can go downhill, after the loss of their partner
					






					www.independent.co.uk


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 26, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> She looked fit for work last time she was on telly


Will her benefits get stopped if she's blagging it?


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 26, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> She looked fit for work last time she was on telly


You're using the DWP scoring system, I take it.

She loves spending time in Scotland. That she's pulled out of an event almost a week away is unprecedented I believe.

Maybe she needs to spend more time finessing the plan of Andrew's forthcoming completely unforeseen accident...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 26, 2021)

Get her in front of the PIP boys to see if she is swinging the lead


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 26, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Get her in front of the PIP boys to see if she is swinging the lead


Seeing as they send letters to dead people I'm not sure they can tell the difference between dead people and alive people.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 26, 2021)

She’s coining it in in the nash.


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 26, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> She’s coining it in in the nash.


She's what now??


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 26, 2021)

She is doing rather well from her expert familiarity with the state benefits system. / translate


----------



## brogdale (Oct 26, 2021)




----------



## Elpenor (Oct 26, 2021)

I suspect Rory Bremner will be putting on a lilac frock and brooch to record the Christmas address shortly.


----------



## kenny g (Oct 26, 2021)

She appears about to have lost the longevity battle with the old man and her second son is a nonce...


----------



## tim (Oct 26, 2021)

My great Aunty Rene lasted another 15 years after reaching this stage.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 26, 2021)

Has rileyoblimey been banned yet?


----------



## ska invita (Oct 26, 2021)

Worries


not sure if pointing to the ground is meaningful


----------



## Raheem (Oct 26, 2021)

tim said:


> My great Aunty Rene lasted another 15 years after reaching this stage.


What, the stage of chickening out of presiding over an international climate change conference?


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 26, 2021)

Raheem said:


> What, the stage of chickening out of presiding over an international climate change conference?


Hey, who among us has not backed out of an international conference days before it started?


----------



## Raheem (Oct 26, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> Hey, who among us has not backed out of an international conference days before it started?


My ramraiding days are behind me, sadly.


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 26, 2021)

Maybe Andrew will be so grief-stricken at her passing that he'll accidentally shoot himself whilst out grouse shooting...


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 26, 2021)

how is the castle not like the white house with its own hospital grade facilities

she lost her aging husband last year 



saying that its it now you queenie shield for a bit


as for the plebs we need them to keep working and get herd immunity


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Oct 26, 2021)

tim said:


> My great Aunty Rene lasted another 15 years after reaching this stage.



TBF, Rene is one of those names that guarantees you'll live to be 112


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 27, 2021)

whilst smoking every day



and remarking"stopped at 95 thought fuck it at 100"

just like the queen mother


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Oct 27, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> whilst smoking every day
> 
> 
> 
> "stopped at 100 thought fuck it at 105"



We don't acknowledge Brenda's alleged/former smoking habits in this patriotic thread. There have been many jokes made over the decades, but no firm evidence.


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 27, 2021)

the queen smoking is a taboo

but her pedo son blowing his brains out is fine


due to her sister and family i suspect the queen was brought up with smoking but rejected it due to family lost

suppose lizard bloody has more longevity


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 27, 2021)

just a thought 

if the current whatever is just temporary and she does live to be 100

do we all have to send her a telegram on her birthday?


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 27, 2021)

everyone has to at social  gun point


its going to be worse than your neighbours giving you dirty looks if you were not out every thursday at 8 pm banging pots for the nhs

the lockdown


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 27, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> the queen smoking is a taboo
> 
> but her pedo son blowing his brains out is fine
> 
> ...


Alleged pedo son.

I did not say 'blow his brains out', I said 'accidentally shoot himself' - and that could be in the foot, not in the head.


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 27, 2021)

i'd be quite happy if it just turned out she did not want to spend the day with the unionist

who wants to spend a day in the company of orangemen, not even the tories

and as for the cop shite ,

Charles had just informed her of dumping sewage into the sea and rivers and she had enough

and thought fuck you Boris


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 27, 2021)

Would make me like her more


----------



## Humberto (Oct 27, 2021)

We are running out of time to guillotine her before she dies.


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 27, 2021)

aye even the ra did nothing against the queen

maybe she just wants to get out of the way before the next season of the royals on netflix


----------



## little_legs (Oct 27, 2021)

Picture this: Christmas Day, no turkey for 90% the country, and Charles’ first speech. 😎


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 27, 2021)

We've all had days at work where we've gone 'fuck it, I just cannot arsed today'. I reckon that she's had one of those and just fancies a few days at home with the corgis, and has therefore bailed on COP26. One of the other royals will pitch in - Charles or the Cambridges probably.


----------



## Humberto (Oct 27, 2021)

Chippy tea and Game of Thrones.


----------



## Humberto (Oct 27, 2021)

But with lots of pomp.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Oct 27, 2021)

Looks like she's proper ill then.


----------



## pogofish (Oct 27, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> Hey, who among us has not backed out of an international conference days before it started?



I and three of my colleagues refused several months ago - They were casting around looking for people to work it!


----------



## tim (Oct 27, 2021)

.





equationgirl said:


> We've all had days at work where we've gone 'fuck it, I just cannot arsed today'. I reckon that she's had one of those and just fancies a few days at home with the corgis, and has therefore bailed on COP26. One of the other royals will pitch in - Charles or the Cambridges probably.



Particularly, as the other big hitters: Putin, Xi and MBS have already bailed out. Who would want to go to Glasgow, where there isn't even a handy Palace to retreat to, and hobnob with washed-up nonentities like: Biden, Macron and Turdeau.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

tim said:


> .
> 
> Particularly, as the other big hitters: Putin, Xi and MBS have already bailed out. Who would want to go to Glasgow, where there isn't even a handy Palace to retreat to, and hobnob with washed-up nonentities like: Biden, Macron and Turdeau.


You've never heard of Balmoral then


----------



## 1927 (Oct 27, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> just a thought
> 
> if the current whatever is just temporary and she does live to be 100
> 
> do we all have to send her a telegram on her birthday?


No, but you know some saddos will, and send her gifts!


----------



## mx wcfc (Oct 27, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> Maybe Andrew will be so grief-stricken at her passing that he'll accidentally shoot himself whilst out grouse shooting...


I have no idea why, but the story of King William (Rufus) II's death just sprang to mind.
("accidentally" shot with an arrow by one of his mates when out hunting in the New Forest).


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 27, 2021)

1927 said:


> and send her gifts!



i suppose i could get her one of those princess diana figurine things...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 27, 2021)

Another day, another 8AM start sitting in front of the telly in me funeral suit waiting for the breaking news . My shit life


----------



## ska invita (Oct 27, 2021)

#CopOut ™


----------



## Edie (Oct 27, 2021)

Was thinking what a titanic character Queen Elizabeth is with respect to the UK and world 20thC history. Her passing will be the end of an era, and moving from that perspective alone.


----------



## rekil (Oct 27, 2021)

Sunk by a big clammy pedoberg.


----------



## 1927 (Oct 27, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i suppose i could get her one of those princess diana figurine things...


Do it!


----------



## ska invita (Oct 27, 2021)

Edie said:


> Was thinking what a titanic character Queen Elizabeth is with respect to the UK and world 20thC history. Her passing will be the end of an era, and moving from that perspective alone.


absolutely - her death will be symbolic of the fag end of the British Empire over which she presided. Barbados has just given her the boot as head of state, other commonwealth countries will not be replacing her. I dont see the upcoming era of Kings lasting long


----------



## Edie (Oct 27, 2021)

ska invita said:


> absolutely - her death will be symbolic of the fag end of the British Empire over which she presided. Barbados has given her the boot as head of state, other commonwealth countries will not be replacing her. I dont see the upcoming era of Kings lasting long


It’s hard to see it continuing eh without being subsumed by an Oprah re-branding and increasing irrelevance.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 27, 2021)

In yesterday's palace propaganda picture I note that 'she' was not holding up a newspaper front page published that day.




Also the golden piano has gone.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

brogdale said:


> In yesterday's palace propaganda picture I note that 'she' was not holding up a newspaper front page published that day.
> 
> 
> View attachment 294339
> ...


The more eagle-eyed among us will notice the slack jaw of the dead and the way the corpse has been positioned to allow rigor mortis to offer the suggestion of life


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

brogdale said:


> In yesterday's palace propaganda picture I note that 'she' was not holding up a newspaper front page published that day.
> 
> 
> View attachment 294339
> ...


The dark yellow damp imprint of a pig's snout on her top suggests there was nearly a farmyard fate for her


----------



## ska invita (Oct 27, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> The more eagle-eyed among us will notice the slack jaw of the dead and the way the corpse has been positioned to allow rigor mortis to offer the suggestion of life


people have been talking about the bruise on her arm but i find that bad taste


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 27, 2021)

Panic over, she's simply been watching too much telly:









						Queen's late-night TV habit has left her 'knackered' royal aides say
					

Since returning from Balmoral this month, Her Majesty, 95, has undertaken 19 public engagements, including marking the Royal British Legion's centenary at Westminster Abbey.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

ska invita said:


> people have been talking about the bruise on her arm but i find that bad taste


Never mind, eh


----------



## brogdale (Oct 27, 2021)

ska invita said:


> people have been talking about the bruise on her arm but i find that bad taste


People over 80 tend to be pretty randomly bruised the whole time IME.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

brogdale said:


> People over 80 tend to be pretty randomly bruised the whole time IME.


She might have been nibbling rat poison


----------



## JimW (Oct 27, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Panic over, she's simply been watching too much telly:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


She can't tear herself away from the car crash that is GB News either.


----------



## klang (Oct 27, 2021)

brogdale said:


> People over 80 tend to be pretty randomly bruised the whole time IME.


and people with toddlers.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

klang said:


> and people with toddlers.


It's a common design flaw in suits designed to make lizards appear human too


----------



## ska invita (Oct 27, 2021)

I think she's fucked it by staying in her role so long... By not handing over to Charles and letting him settle in whilst maintaining a presence over his shoulder theres no smooth transition... Its made the whole thing all about her, she's becomes synonymous with the crown. So when she dies it makes the institution seem to die with her.🤞

The old matriarch plays into all that tea-tinted ideas of Aunty BBC and GB Bake Off. I don't think having twat kings has the same sentimentality


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

ska invita said:


> I think she's fucked it by staying in her role so long... By not handing over to Charles and letting him settle in whilst maintaining a presence over his shoulder theres no smooth transition... Its made the whole thing all about her, she's becomes synonymous with the crown. So when she dies it makes the institution seem to die with her.🤞
> 
> The old matriarch plays into all that tea-tinted ideas of Aunty BBC and GB Bake Off. I don't think having twat kings has the same sentimentality


All this has happened before with Victoria, and let's not forget Edward VII had a far worse rep than Charles


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 27, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> Alleged pedo son.




I think we can officially drop the alleged bit now, on accounts of his actions and that.



equationgirl said:


> I did not say 'blow his brains out', I said 'accidentally shoot himself' - and that could be in the foot, not in the head.



And he already did, both feet, on Newsnight.


----------



## brogdale (Oct 27, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> All this has happened before with Victoria, and let's not forget Edward VII had a far worse rep than Charles


More patriotic, imperial supporting, compliant and deferential populous at the turn of the 20thC, though?

Anyway...some considerable convergence needed for any prospect of cross-over...but sausage fingers might help accelerate that process?


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 27, 2021)

Give credit where it's due Mum Q is a dozen years younger than Brenda and she thinks computers are the work of devil.
I wonder if Apple gave her that for free, having a picture of the Queen of England using your stuff has got to be the kind of PR they dream of.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Give credit where it's due Mum Q is a dozen years younger than Brenda and she thinks computers are the work of devil.
> I wonder if Apple gave her that for free, having a picture of the Queen of England using your stuff has got to be the kind of PR they dream of.


Yeh if you think that people have a positive view of some auld woman with a dysfunctional family who has a team of servitors to turn the computer on for her


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 27, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You've never heard of Balmoral then


Balmoral isn't handy for anywhere, least of all Glasgow. The nearest royal residence is the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh, roughly 50 miles east.


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 27, 2021)

Hell, I have random bruises and I'm in my 40s.


brogdale said:


> People over 80 tend to be pretty randomly bruised the whole time IME.


----------



## equationgirl (Oct 27, 2021)

Nothing to be sad about brogdale I walk into things due to the meds i'm on sometimes.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 27, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> Balmoral isn't handy for anywhere, least of all Glasgow. The nearest royal residence is the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh, roughly 50 miles east.


Yeh but the lizard queen can use her sidrat


----------



## Lazy Llama (Oct 27, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> I wonder if Apple gave her that for free, having a picture of the Queen of England using your stuff has got to be the kind of PR they dream of.


It’s not a Mac though, it’s a Cisco WebEx Desk Pro.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 27, 2021)

Puddy_Tat said:


> just a thought
> 
> if the current whatever is just temporary and she does live to be 100
> 
> do we all have to send her a telegram on her birthday?


No she has to send herself one.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Oct 27, 2021)

tim said:


> My great Aunty Rene lasted another 15 years after reaching this stage.



My aunty Lily manage 103, she was deaf, blind and her nose had fallen off but she still insisted on a bottle of Guinness, a drop of whiskey and a filterless senior service at 1500 everyday
She could have presided over the opening of an international convention with her trade mark shout of “Eh EH WAT is that yoooo Sidney”


----------



## Kaka Tim (Oct 27, 2021)

Her death will be a major boost for republicanism. Much of the automatic deferance and respect for the monarchy tied up with her. 
Charles is an embarrassment. They'd have been better off making Anne the heir. 
Be interesting anyway


----------



## tim (Oct 27, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You've never heard of Balmoral then



I'm sure, being the vindictive sadist that she is, if  could get away with inflicting the Spartan miseries of Balmoral on all those pampered brutes she would happily do so in person. 

However, I can't imagine she's keen to make small-talk with them in a sofa-strewn conference centre miles away from her two Scottish homes. 

If she really is at death's door, she could start taking her Commander in Chief role seriously and send a kilted Highland, Regiment in to bayonet the lot of them, accompanied, of course, by tasteful bagpiping. The tastiest remnants could be brought back to Windsor as corgi treats.

One final zoomed massacre would be a fitting finale to the British Monarchy: a 21st Century update on an ancient British tradition.


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 27, 2021)

Lazy Llama said:


> It’s not a Mac though, it’s a Cisco WebEx Desk Pro.


I'll take your word for it, looks a lot like one of the latest gen Mac's then


----------



## Lazy Llama (Oct 27, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> I'll take your word for it, looks a lot like one of the latest gen Mac's then


It does, but no keyboard, mouse or raised stand . Even then it’s expensive though. £3.8k


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 27, 2021)

Lazy Llama said:


> It does, but no keyboard, mouse or raised stand . Even then it’s expensive though. £3.8k


Well let's face it, she's not short a few bob now is she?


----------



## not a trot (Oct 27, 2021)

tim said:


> I'm sure, being the vindictive sadist that she is, if  could get away with inflicting the Spartan miseries of Balmoral on all those pampered brutes she would happily do so in person.
> 
> However, I can't imagine she's keen to make small-talk with them in a sofa-strewn conference centre miles away from her two Scottish homes.
> 
> ...


Dying to the sound of bagpipes, fuck that. I'd rather go to the sound of Yoko Ono belting out her greatest hits.


----------



## Carvaged (Oct 28, 2021)

I'm feeling car journey vibes. Is she dead yet?


----------



## Humberto (Oct 28, 2021)

She's the queen. She only exists to suck the life out of hope.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 28, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> All this has happened before with Victoria, and let's not forget Edward VII had a far worse rep than Charles


the irishman, 12 august 1876:


----------



## tim (Oct 28, 2021)

Humberto said:


> She's the queen. She only exists to suck the life out of hope.



She exists to cut ribbons, reveal things by pulling cords, and smash bottles against the hulls of ships.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 29, 2021)

BBC News - Queen advised to rest  forever for two more weeks








						Queen advised to rest for two more weeks
					

The Queen will not undertake official visits until mid-November on doctors' advice, the palace says.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## ska invita (Oct 29, 2021)

moochedit said:


> BBC News - Queen advised to rest  forever for two more weeks
> 
> 
> 
> ...


"It said this means she will be unable to attend the Festival of Remembrance on 13 November but it is her "*firm intention" to be present for the National Service of Remembrance on Remembrance Sunday."*

picking an ominous day for a comeback


----------



## Sue (Oct 29, 2021)

In terms of BHs, what's the best case scenario?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 29, 2021)

Sue said:


> In terms of BHs, what's the best case scenario?



think we get an extra bank holiday for the jubilee next year, so best she hangs on that long...


----------



## klang (Oct 29, 2021)

I'd happily sacrifice a day off for her copping it sooner tbh.


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 29, 2021)

You're all getting your hopes up but the old biddy is going to live for ever.


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 29, 2021)

What is the optimal time of day for announcing she has karked it?


----------



## klang (Oct 29, 2021)

not too bothered tbh, anytime is fine by me.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 29, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> You're all getting your hopes up but the old biddy is going to live for ever.



"so long as charles is next in line,
i've got to stay alive,
one will survive"


----------



## moochedit (Oct 29, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> What is the optimal time of day for announcing she has karked it?


I think if it happens overnight they wait until 8am. But from memory phil was announced a bit later than that, nearer lunchtime.


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 29, 2021)

Wonder if Nicolas Witchell is getting himself dosed up with Viagra overnight.


----------



## MickiQ (Oct 29, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> What is the optimal time of day for announcing she has karked it?


Her Grandad was finished off by his doctor so his death would be announced first in the morning edition of the Times rather than the scurrilous evening rags of the time. They probably don't want her death announced first on Twitter but other than that, it's probably not such a big issue these days.


----------



## bluescreen (Oct 29, 2021)

Hard to see how they could keep a lid on it once it happens, even if they have a Palace lockdown with everyone surrendering their cellphones.


----------



## Ax^ (Oct 29, 2021)

she a tough old bird so this may just be a scare


saying that if next week, with the poppy rage we might get a week off


----------



## Badgers (Oct 29, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> she a tough old bird so this may just be a scare
> 
> 
> saying that if next week, with the poppy rage we might get a week off


Bring it


----------



## Carvaged (Oct 29, 2021)

Is she dead yet?


----------



## Badgers (Oct 29, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> Is she dead yet?


Hope so


----------



## moochedit (Oct 29, 2021)

bluescreen said:


> Hard to see how they could keep a lid on it once it happens, even if they have a Palace lockdown with everyone surrendering their cellphones.


"now you mustn't tell anyone else this but..."


----------



## pesh (Oct 29, 2021)

"no spoilers"


----------



## brogdale (Oct 29, 2021)

Gaurdian's pic editor obviously not looking for a K


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 29, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> Is she dead yet?


She's been dead since 9 Nov 1966 when Paul McCartney unsuccessfully tried to use her as a human shield on the day he tragically died. Since then we've had an impostor on the throne


----------



## moochedit (Oct 29, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> Is she dead yet?


Not yet but keep refreshing this thread until she is.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 29, 2021)

The kids of SW Surrey had last Friday off in lieu of missing the bank holiday next June due to it being in half term. I raised the issue on the school WhatsApp group that this maybe a tad premature and the little dicks may have to come in for a Saturday to make up for it. Not a single disapproving reply speaks volumes as to what the person in the Godalming XC90 gives a fuck about the minging old cunt.


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 29, 2021)

I reckon she has a short while to go yet. I am no doctor but reckon she has seven or eight weeks left. 

I am putting money on her ruining Christmas.


----------



## moochedit (Oct 29, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> I reckon she has a short while to go yet. I am no doctor but reckon she has seven or eight weeks left.
> 
> I am putting money on her ruining Christmas.


Won't ruin it for me!


----------



## Serge Forward (Oct 29, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> I reckon she has a short while to go yet. I am no doctor but reckon she has seven or eight weeks left.
> 
> I am putting money on her ruining Christmas.


Queen's speech by ouija board.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Oct 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Gaurdian's pic editor obviously not looking for a K
> 
> View attachment 294676



Only five poppies? Bit disrespectful.


----------



## Gerry1time (Oct 29, 2021)

I’ve recently got to know some local ‘Britain In Bloom’ competition types, and apparently there’s a metric fuckton of stuff they’ve got planned for the platinum jubilee next year. A national tree planting scheme to create ‘The Queen’s Canopy’, various approved colour schemes for flower displays to reference back to previous jubilees, all sorts.

Gonna be awkward if she doesn’t make it til then.


----------



## steveseagull (Oct 29, 2021)

Gerry1time said:


> I’ve recently got to know some local ‘Britain In Bloom’ competition types, and apparently there’s a metric fuckton of stuff they’ve got planned for the platinum jubilee next year. A national tree planting scheme to create ‘The Queen’s Canopy’, various approved colour schemes for flower displays to reference back to previous jubilees, all sorts.
> 
> Gonna be awkward if she doesn’t make it til then.


Good time to invest in stock for companies that sell carnations.


----------



## bluescreen (Oct 29, 2021)

Gerry1time said:


> I’ve recently got to know some local ‘Britain In Bloom’ competition types, and apparently there’s a metric fuckton of stuff they’ve got planned for the platinum jubilee next year. A national tree planting scheme to create ‘The Queen’s Canopy’, various approved colour schemes for flower displays to reference back to previous jubilees, all sorts.
> 
> Gonna be awkward if she doesn’t make it til then.


They could swiftly convert it to A Memorial of her very long wonderful reign.


----------



## danny la rouge (Oct 30, 2021)

Serge Forward said:


> Queen's speech by ouija board.


It’s always recorded in October.

“If you are watching this, that means one is dead…”


----------



## ska invita (Oct 30, 2021)




----------



## Kaka Tim (Oct 30, 2021)

I reckon she's had a stroke.


----------



## elbows (Oct 30, 2021)

They are keeping her indoors to thwart a French plot to throw scallops at her to underline the downsides of Brexit.


----------



## Raheem (Oct 30, 2021)

TBF, if I'd have known the French would be throwing scallops at the queen as she lay dying I would never have been a remainer.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 30, 2021)

any news ?


----------



## spring-peeper (Oct 30, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> I reckon she has a short while to go yet. I am no doctor but reckon she has seven or eight weeks left.



I've noticed that when of one of the partners die, the surviving partner does not live much longer.

Dies of a broken heart


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Oct 30, 2021)

Trump got three supreme court justices, Al Johnson surely has to get at least one monarch?


----------



## platinumsage (Oct 30, 2021)

spring-peeper said:


> I've noticed that when of one of the partners die, the surviving partner does not live much longer.
> 
> Dies of a broken heart



Yeah like Queen Victoria.

Anyway she's been rejuvenated since he left, can't stop smiling.


----------



## TopCat (Oct 30, 2021)

Get your black suit into the cleaners.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 30, 2021)

STREET PARTY 🍻🎉


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 30, 2021)

spring-peeper said:


> Dies of a broken heart


Won't happen to her then


----------



## Artaxerxes (Oct 30, 2021)

TopCat said:


> Get your black suit into the cleaners.



So you’ve an excuse not to wear it?


----------



## A380 (Oct 30, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Witchell doesn’t look long for this world either. Presumably he will go on to be royal correspondent in the afterlife, providing updates beyond the grave



He gets strangled the next day by the chair of the Privy Council and his organless corpse is buried just outside the threshold of Liz’s chamber under the shard.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 30, 2021)

A380 said:


> He gets strangled the next day by the chair of the Privy Council and his organless corpse is buried just outside the threshold of Liz’s chamber under the shard.


Witchell's final act will be broadcasting from the pengo factory as the royal family process in the front and emerge out the back as penguin feed. Laura kuennsberg will take up the story as NW is ushered inside to meet the penguins


----------



## Kaka Tim (Oct 30, 2021)

Has she been seen since coming out of hospital?


----------



## A380 (Oct 30, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Witchell's final act will be broadcasting from the pengo factory as the royal family process in the front and emerge out the back as penguin feed. Laura kuennsberg will take up the story as NW is ushered inside to meet the penguins


Will it come in king size packets?


----------



## moochedit (Oct 30, 2021)

Kaka Tim said:


> Has she been seen since coming out of hospital?


No


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 30, 2021)

A380 said:


> Will it come in king size packets?


Emperor, king, adelie...


----------



## A380 (Oct 30, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Emperor, king, adelie...


Bah Humboldt


----------



## Carvaged (Oct 30, 2021)

Badgers said:


> STREET PARTY 🍻🎉



A time for true British patriotism


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 30, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> A time for true British patriotism


Not sure the wizened queen could possibly feed so many even if you made soup from her bones


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 30, 2021)

Just put my black funeral suit into the dry cleaners but won’t be ready until Thursday. Hang in for a few more days yer maj.


----------



## Pickman's model (Oct 30, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Just put my black funeral suit into the dry cleaners but won’t be ready until Thursday. Hang in for a few more days yer maj.


I thought you'd be wearing your carnival costume when she pops her clogs


----------



## Chilli.s (Oct 30, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Just put my black funeral suit into the dry cleaners but won’t be ready until Thursday. Hang in for a few more days yer maj.


Seriously doubt that you'll be getting an invite,  admire your optimism though


----------



## jakejb79 (Oct 30, 2021)

I saw this comment online a few days ago


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 30, 2021)

Whole country wishes Queen well - Boris Johnson
					

Boris Johnson says the Queen is "on good form" but it's important she follows doctors' advice to rest.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




That Johnson just can’t stop telling lies…


----------



## magneze (Oct 30, 2021)

The Queen is ‘on very good form’ says Boris Johnson
					

Prime minister’s comments come after news that doctors advised the monarch to rest for two weeks




					www.theguardian.com
				



"On very good form" says noted liar.


----------



## Raheem (Oct 30, 2021)

"Yes, very good form. I've just been down the bookies and bet £500."


----------



## SpookyFrank (Oct 30, 2021)

klang said:


> not too bothered tbh, anytime is fine by me.



Charles buying it first would be hilarious.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Oct 30, 2021)

Kaka Tim said:


> Has she been seen since coming out of hospital?



Not in her 'human' form no.


----------



## Cloo (Oct 30, 2021)

I think she'll keep going for a while yet in which time we will be repeatedly bored by headlines about her going in and out of hospital until the time she doesn't come out, as is the way with plenty of people after the age of 90.


----------



## bluescreen (Oct 30, 2021)

Cloo said:


> I think she'll keep going for a while yet in which time we will be repeatedly bored by headlines about her going in and out of hospital until the time she doesn't come out, as is the way with plenty of people after the age of 90.


Very likely true, but nothing like as interesting as the usual creative and baseless Urban speculation. Which is what we're all here for.


----------



## Griff (Oct 30, 2021)

Wrong thread:


----------



## not a trot (Oct 30, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> A time for true British patriotism


Some party, hardly anyone is smiling.


----------



## not a trot (Oct 30, 2021)

magneze said:


> The Queen is ‘on very good form’ says Boris Johnson
> 
> 
> Prime minister’s comments come after news that doctors advised the monarch to rest for two weeks
> ...



Probably tried his luck with her.


----------



## Saul Goodman (Oct 30, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Some party, hardly anyone is smiling.


People didn't smile back then. Smiling didn't become a thing until about 25 years later.


----------



## PR1Berske (Nov 1, 2021)

If Charles is as dense as the rumours suggest, he's probably delaying the announcement by not being able to agree on what regnal name he'll use as King. Or maybe he's still baffled by the instruction to sing "King" in the National anthem.


----------



## moochedit (Nov 1, 2021)

She's been photograped driving. Wonder if her driving skills are as good as phils?  and has she been on the good spirits?


----------



## T & P (Nov 1, 2021)

Driving around her estate a bit. What’s the point in that? And who took the photograph? Sounds like a photo-op to me…


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 1, 2021)

T & P said:


> Driving around her estate a bit. What’s the point in that?



What else are you going to do with a Jaguar and 4,500 acres?


----------



## MrCurry (Nov 1, 2021)

Maybe she’s not actually ill, just on strike to protest the beastly treatment of no.2 son.


----------



## brogdale (Nov 1, 2021)

moochedit said:


> She's been photograped driving. Wonder if her driving skills are as good as phils?  and has she been on the good spirits?


----------



## Elpenor (Nov 1, 2021)

Suspect she’s been taxidermed over the weekend, and there’s an unseen courtier in the vehicle working her arms and legs with strings


----------



## Saul Goodman (Nov 1, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> What else are you going to do with a Jaguar and 4,500 acres?


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 1, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Suspect she’s been taxidermed over the weekend, and there’s an unseen courtier in the vehicle working her arms and legs with strings


Its all CGI these days, thats a composite Queen made up from various footage over the last 10 years and blended together on a high end computer.


----------



## moochedit (Nov 1, 2021)

If she can drive then she can attend cop26!  Why aren't ATOS on the case?


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 1, 2021)

The page suddenly loaded and at first glance before reading I thought she was abdicating due to ill health:


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 5, 2021)

I've seen this picture trending again and apparently there's been a spike in celebration cake orders, so it seems she may be hanging by a thread...


----------



## T & P (Nov 5, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> I've seen this picture trending again and apparently there's been a spike in celebration cake orders, so it seems she may be hanging by a thread...


Is that a candle in the wind?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 5, 2021)

She isn’t expiring any time soon


----------



## Sue (Nov 5, 2021)

T & P said:


> Is that a candle in the wind?


If they re-release that AGAIN I won't be responsible for my actions.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 5, 2021)

T & P said:


> Is that a candle in the wind?



I was under the impression that was an image of the latex skin over her lizard scales spontaneously combusting, but no official confirmation yet.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 5, 2021)

Sue said:


> If they re-release that AGAIN I won't be responsible for my actions.



Expect a spike in self-harm incidents if that song gets released again 🤤


----------



## stavros (Nov 5, 2021)

T & P said:


> Is that a candle in the wind?


She's a single woman now, so I don't blame her for getting in touch with some old flames.


----------



## Serene (Nov 5, 2021)

She is a zealot for smashing the state and anarchy and she wants all borders abolished. La Reine!


----------



## _Russ_ (Nov 6, 2021)

Aah a whole thread where the  zero self awareness woke crowd show their true shitehawk colours
Nasty fuckers


----------



## brogdale (Nov 6, 2021)

Aah a monarchist!

Welcome to the thread.


----------



## brogdale (Nov 6, 2021)

any news?


----------



## Kaka Tim (Nov 6, 2021)

_Russ_ said:


> Aah a whole thread where the  zero self awareness woke crowd show their true shitehawk colours
> Nasty fuckers



another "but im offended!" snowflake.


----------



## moochedit (Nov 6, 2021)

_Russ_ said:


> Aah a whole thread where the  zero self awareness woke crowd show their true shitehawk colours
> Nasty fuckers


Hi Spanner !  * waves *


----------



## brogdale (Nov 6, 2021)

Kaka Tim said:


> another "but im offended!" snowflake.


Almost sadomonarchistic for such a snowflake to come in here?


----------



## Elpenor (Nov 11, 2021)

Queen will attend Remembrance Sunday service, Buckingham Palace confirms
					

The monarch, 95, will be at the Cenotaph service after doctors advised her to rest until mid-November.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




Looks like they’ve worked out how to control her, either via puppet strings or remote control


----------



## moochedit (Nov 11, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Queen will attend Remembrance Sunday service, Buckingham Palace confirms
> 
> 
> The monarch, 95, will be at the Cenotaph service after doctors advised her to rest until mid-November.
> ...


She has finished shedding her skin!


----------



## elbows (Nov 12, 2021)

Elpenor said:


> Queen will attend Remembrance Sunday service, Buckingham Palace confirms
> 
> 
> The monarch, 95, will be at the Cenotaph service after doctors advised her to rest until mid-November.
> ...


They've formulated a royal variant of a carrot and stick approach, gin and walking stick. Or perhaps that stick that someone poked Camilla with is still available.


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 12, 2021)

_Russ_ said:


> Aah a whole thread where the  zero self awareness woke crowd show their true shitehawk colours
> Nasty fuckers


----------



## William of Walworth (Nov 12, 2021)

There is literally and obviously *ZERO* (worthwhile) news in 'Da Meedja' about "'The Queen's" supposedly imminent death.

The realistic, *AND NON-IMMINENT*, prospect is that whwnever she'll croak, will be late/delayed enough to piss off those in the circles of 'Windsor' ....  

But also early enough to enable people to get off site and 'mourn' (= their imminent, post-festval, shortages of 'Turkish Rugs'  )


----------



## ska invita (Nov 12, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


>


answer=returner troll


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 12, 2021)

ska invita said:


> answer=returner troll


 Oh goody


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 12, 2021)

I woke up this morning and had a feeling in me waters. Which naturally made me think the Queen lying over thar in yonder palaces and surrounded by courtiers, slaves and gold bedding, may be dying.

Any news?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 14, 2021)

Brenda to blow out Remembrance Day at the Cenotaph. The grim reaper is sharpening his scythe…


----------



## steveseagull (Nov 14, 2021)

Big news. She has pulled out of today's service due to being in rotten health. 

Not long now.


----------



## magneze (Nov 14, 2021)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Brenda to blow out Remembrance Day at the Cenotaph. The grim reaper is sharpening his scythe…


Really? About 15 minutes ago she was going ...


----------



## andysays (Nov 14, 2021)

The Queen to miss Remembrance Sunday service​
Sprained her back??!?

The mind boggles...


----------



## jakejb79 (Nov 14, 2021)

andysays said:


> The Queen to miss Remembrance Sunday service​
> Sprained her back??!?
> 
> The mind boggles...


Maybe she's got a new boyfriend


----------



## moochedit (Nov 14, 2021)

Time for a sweep stake?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Nov 14, 2021)

Certain irony if she dies on remembrance day.


----------



## ska invita (Nov 14, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Certain irony if she dies on remembrance day.


i did say, not the best day for a comeback gig


----------



## TopCat (Nov 14, 2021)

Baited breath


----------



## TopCat (Nov 14, 2021)

It's a tickle for sure


----------



## moochedit (Nov 14, 2021)

* drums fingers *


----------



## ska invita (Nov 14, 2021)

tis but a sprained back


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Nov 14, 2021)

andysays said:


> The Queen to miss Remembrance Sunday service​
> Sprained her back??!?
> 
> The mind boggles...



She shouldn't have gone for that 73rd poppy. Too much weight.


----------



## Badgers (Nov 14, 2021)

Days not weeks 



> The Queen has sprained her back so will not attend the Remembrance Sunday service at the Cenotaph today.
> 
> Buckingham Palace released a last-minute statement cancelling the appearance an hour-and-a-half before the event started in central London.
> 
> ...


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

andysays said:


> The Queen to miss Remembrance Sunday service​
> Sprained her back??!?
> 
> The mind boggles...


Sprained her back my arse

She won at the bookies and spent her winnings on prosecco. She's hungover


----------



## PR1Berske (Nov 14, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Certain irony if she dies on remembrance day.


Jade Goody died on Mothering Sunday which always struck me as being narratively convenient, so there's always a chance with Lizzy "going down with the setting of the sun"


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> Jade Goody died on Mothering Sunday which always struck me as being narratively convenient, so there's always a chance with Lizzy "going down with the setting of the sun"


The Duke of Edinburgh always looked forward to remembrance day


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

Social media is going be hell on earth. It was bad when Phillip died. Someone told me if I didn’t think every life was sacred then I didn’t deserve one. The be kind hashtaggers are not so kind, I didn’t even say I thought he was a cunt until like days after.


----------



## Flavour (Nov 14, 2021)

It's going to be the best thing ever. the levels of sycophancy will be without precedence. Literally everything will be in black for a while. Even the BBC news ticker will have a black background instead of red. Traffic lights will have the red light replaced by black. There will be no green. Where do you need to go anyway? Stay at home and cry.

Special packets of double chocolate muffins will be eaten in every home. Milk will not be put in tea or coffee. All football teams will have to play in black, and all games will have to end 0-0. There will be 90 minutes of silence not just before the game but during it. Substitutes will not be announced. 

Guinness will be served without its trademark white head.

All records will be played at -8.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

Flavour said:


> Milk will not be put in tea or coffee.


It has no place in tea and coffee anyway


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

Flavour said:


> It's going to be the best thing ever. the levels of sycophancy will be without precedence. Literally everything will be in black for a while. Even the BBC news ticker will have a black background instead of red. Traffic lights will have the red light replaced by black. There will be no green. Where do you need to go anyway? Stay at home and cry.
> 
> Special packets of double chocolate muffins will be eaten in every home. Milk will not be put in tea or coffee. All football teams will have to play in black, and all games will have to end 0-0. There will be 90 minutes of silence not just before the game but during it. Substitutes will not be announced.
> 
> ...


Please come onto urban with your commentary when it happens this is great stuff


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

Flavour said:


> It's going to be the best thing ever. the levels of sycophancy will be without precedence. Literally everything will be in black for a while. Even the BBC news ticker will have a black background instead of red. Traffic lights will have the red light replaced by black. There will be no green. Where do you need to go anyway? Stay at home and cry.
> 
> Special packets of double chocolate muffins will be eaten in every home. Milk will not be put in tea or coffee. All football teams will have to play in black, and all games will have to end 0-0. There will be 90 minutes of silence not just before the game but during it. Substitutes will not be announced.
> 
> ...


In a move likely to cause uproar no birthday parties will be permitted during the mourning period and sales of puddings, with the natural exception of black pudding, will be halted unless the purchaser can demonstrate a medical need.


----------



## Badgers (Nov 14, 2021)

Which would be a better celebration? 

Today
Tomorrow 
Christmas eve 
Christmas day
Boxing day 
New year's eve 
New year's day 
Yesterday


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

Christmas Day 100 per cent


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 14, 2021)

It'll be interesting to compare the spectacle to Diana funeral, as I recall it the palace hadn't gone into full 'royal death mode' straight away, didn't even half mast the flags. Then it all kicked in a bit later. Books of condolences everywhere, the motorcade. 

Whereas this one will be at full spectrum mourning straight away, black armbands on all the beeb presenters.


----------



## Badgers (Nov 14, 2021)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> Christmas Day 100 per cent


I almost agree 🤔

Leaning towards Christmas eve myself. Ideally a late announcement so families can mourn laugh over Christmas Dinner.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Nov 14, 2021)

Badgers said:


> I almost agree 🤔
> 
> Leaning towards Christmas eve myself. Ideally a late announcement so families can mourn laugh over Christmas Dinner.


My mum will cry.


----------



## PR1Berske (Nov 14, 2021)

DotCommunist said:


> It'll be interesting to compare the spectacle to Diana funeral, as I recall it the palace hadn't gone into full 'royal death mode' straight away, didn't even half mast the flags. Then it all kicked in a bit later. Books of condolences everywhere, the motorcade.
> 
> Whereas this one will be at full spectrum mourning straight away, black armbands on all the beeb presenters.



We know almost everything already....











						Operation London Bridge - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Flavour (Nov 14, 2021)

I'd prefer just after New Years myself, kickstart 2022


----------



## brogdale (Nov 14, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> We know almost everything already....
> 
> 
> 
> ...





> _The Times_ has *eleven days* of prepared coverage ready and that ITN and Sky News have long rehearsed her death, but substituting the name "Mrs Robinson"



Eleven fucking days worth, FFS.

_And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson..._


----------



## Badgers (Nov 14, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Eleven fucking days worth, FFS.
> 
> _And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson..._


 

Get voting in the poll peeps 😊


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

Flavour said:


> I'd prefer just after New Years myself, kickstart 2022


The third of January. The third is a bank holiday and lots of people will expect to be back at work on the fourth. But the death of the royal widow will throw all into confusion


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> We know almost everything already....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The horror... The horror...


----------



## Petcha (Nov 14, 2021)

Charles was welling up when laying his wreath earlier. Not sure if that's because of the occasion or something else.


----------



## Petcha (Nov 14, 2021)

A 'sprained back' is fucking hilarious btw. Reminds me of when I called in to work sick from Glasto on the Monday morning with 'lockjaw'. I'm gonna use sprained back at some point.


----------



## manji (Nov 14, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> We know almost everything already....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Interesting to see how NZ, Australia and Canada have to react


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Nov 14, 2021)

manji said:


> Interestingly to see how NZ, Australia and Canada have to react


This was quite amusing:

"RNZ stations are instructed not to play punk music, or songs by the band Queen during this period."


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 14, 2021)

Barbados doesn't become a republic until the 30th of November, I bet they're on tenterhooks.


----------



## not a trot (Nov 14, 2021)

Strained her back. Must be a right pain moving all that furniture around as she flits from palace to palace or castle.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 14, 2021)

Christmas Day, 3pm, Tommy Cooper style.


----------



## Petcha (Nov 14, 2021)

I won't link to the Mail but even they are putting 'Sprained Back' in inverted commas.

It's a piss poor excuse. Could do better Lizzie.


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 14, 2021)

The thought of the coverage and sycophancy from royalists and other assorted spanners is too much.

Want to stowaway on the next space knob. 

Will work for passage.


----------



## Petcha (Nov 14, 2021)

What does 11 days of mourning actually entail? What do we do. Clap or some shit?


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 14, 2021)

The entire royal family have cleared their diaries.

There's only one reason they'd do that:


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Christmas Day, 3pm, Tommy Cooper style.


Exactly this, it’s what I had in mind. Any other day just wouldn’t be poetic at all.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

Petcha said:


> What does 11 days of mourning actually entail? What do we do. Clap or some shit?


FUCKING 11?


----------



## magneze (Nov 14, 2021)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> FUCKING 11?


She's a Spinal Tap fan.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> FUCKING 11?


Join me on my queen's death cruise, 'Ocean's 11', as we sail from Tilbury to Inverness to avoid the memorial madness


----------



## ska invita (Nov 14, 2021)

springs to mind


----------



## spitfire (Nov 14, 2021)

There were lingering shots on HM's wreath at the end of the Cenotaph ceremony. Lingering...


----------



## ska invita (Nov 14, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> The entire royal family have cleared their diaries.
> 
> There's only one reason they'd do that:
> 
> View attachment 296770


Is this really meaningful? Im ready to believe it


----------



## Idris2002 (Nov 14, 2021)

Petcha said:


> What does 11 days of mourning actually entail? What do we do. Clap or some shit?


Harpo, get the seal.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Nov 14, 2021)

Sprained her back doing burpees with a clap (bastards)


----------



## equationgirl (Nov 14, 2021)

Sprained her back?  That's a terrible excuse. It's wafer thin.


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 14, 2021)

She's probably got another few years to go yet. It's been decided at Cop. They're phasing her out, like coal.


----------



## Petcha (Nov 14, 2021)

I know this is very dodgy, but my neighbour just got back from Heathrow and claimed he saw Harry coming through


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

Crazy scenes as the reaper forgot to refresh the news pages before he set off to the cenotaph, he’s only gone and aimed at the wrong lass


----------



## ska invita (Nov 14, 2021)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> Crazy scenes as the reaper forgot to refresh the news pages before he set off to the cenotaph, he’s only gone and aimed at the wrong lass
> 
> View attachment 296775







__





						Signs and wonders - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## brogdale (Nov 14, 2021)

Hostage-style pic with today's paper or I say that London Bridge is, indeed, down!


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 14, 2021)

ska invita said:


> Is this really meaningful? Im ready to believe it



Well, when was she last seen alive in public? I think it was some considerable number of weeks ago.


----------



## ice-is-forming (Nov 14, 2021)

manji said:


> Interesting to see how NZ, Australia and Canada have to react


We don't even get a day off to
 celebrate. Bit harsh..


----------



## Ax^ (Nov 14, 2021)

hmm maybe they speed things up today to get it over and done with for a fresh new week


----------



## ice-is-forming (Nov 14, 2021)

Maybe the rest of Australia might not get a day off. But surely in Queensland we will? Would just be plain daft if we didn't


----------



## Ax^ (Nov 14, 2021)

why would you not get a day off 

when the bint has a different birthday in each aussie state


----------



## PR1Berske (Nov 14, 2021)

Charles would bite his fingernails with worry if he could find the end of his hands.


----------



## ice-is-forming (Nov 14, 2021)

I'm gonna take a days paid cultural leave. As a pome


----------



## Ax^ (Nov 14, 2021)

only one day you should ask for week off to get over the shock...


----------



## brogdale (Nov 14, 2021)

None of these parasitic fuckers look too good, tbh...


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Nov 14, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> She's probably got another few years to go yet. It's been decided at Cop. They're phasing her out, like coal.


Phasing her down, surely.


----------



## ice-is-forming (Nov 14, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> why would you not get a day off
> 
> when the bint has a different birthday in each aussie state



Well those protocols I put up don't suggest a day off is being offered. They're just gonna do half masts and flybys. Tbh I really can't imagine a paid day of mourning.


----------



## Sue (Nov 14, 2021)

'The prime minister and the queen have agreed that the day of the state funeral will be a “Day of National Mourning.” This has also led to planning issues. The day will effectively be a bank holiday, although it will not be named as such. 

*If the funeral falls on the weekend or an existing bank holiday, an extra bank holiday will not be granted. If the funeral falls on a weekday, the government does not plan to order employers to give employees the day off — the documents say that is a matter between employees and their staff.'*











						Britain’s plan for when Queen Elizabeth II dies
					

POLITICO has obtained documents laying out Operation LONDON BRIDGE in granular detail.




					www.politico.eu


----------



## Ax^ (Nov 14, 2021)

brogdale said:


> None of these parasitic fuckers look too good, tbh...
> 
> View attachment 296782



jebus is there a hook on that wall that links to the back of his coat


----------



## ice-is-forming (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> 'The prime minister and the queen have agreed that the day of the state funeral will be a “Day of National Mourning.” This has also led to planning issues. The day will effectively be a bank holiday, although it will not be named as such.
> 
> *If the funeral falls on the weekend or an existing bank holiday, an extra bank holiday will not be granted. If the funeral falls on a weekday, the government does not plan to order employers to give employees the day off — the documents say that is a matter between employees and their staff.'*
> 
> ...



Oh right, so you won't get a day off either then


----------



## moomoo (Nov 14, 2021)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> Christmas Day 100 per cent



Absolutely not. They’ll cancel the Call the Midwife Xmas special. 😡


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> 'The prime minister and the queen have agreed that the day of the state funeral will be a “Day of National Mourning.” This has also led to planning issues. The day will effectively be a bank holiday, although it will not be named as such.
> 
> *If the funeral falls on the weekend or an existing bank holiday, an extra bank holiday will not be granted. If the funeral falls on a weekday, the government does not plan to order employers to give employees the day off — the documents say that is a matter between employees and their staff.'*
> 
> ...



Have any trade unions come out in support of monarchist workers needing a day off to mourn the departure of our most gracious Sovereign Lady?


----------



## Sue (Nov 14, 2021)

ice-is-forming said:


> Oh right, so you won't get a day off either then


Definitely not if the funeral falls on a weekend and otherwise only if our employers go for it.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

moomoo said:


> Absolutely not. They’ll cancel the Call the Midwife Xmas special. 😡


Oh yeah and Christmas Easties. That would ruin my entire festive season.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Nov 14, 2021)

.


----------



## elbows (Nov 14, 2021)

Petcha said:


> A 'sprained back' is fucking hilarious btw. Reminds me of when I called in to work sick from Glasto on the Monday morning with 'lockjaw'. I'm gonna use sprained back at some point.


Its perfectly plausible that she sprained her back while climbing out of her coffin.


----------



## tim (Nov 14, 2021)

ska invita said:


> Is this really meaningful? Im ready to believe it


Brenda seemed to be in good shape on that video link to the Cop jamboree.  She seems very take by Zoom, so I suspect she'll give up personal appearances, but compensate by doing more screen time. 

Old people often take a long time to die, particularly if they feel the next generation vis a little too enthusiastic about inheriting.


----------



## klang (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> 'The prime minister and the queen have agreed that the day of the state funeral will be a “Day of National Mourning.” This has also led to planning issues. The day will effectively be a bank holiday, although it will not be named as such.
> 
> *If the funeral falls on the weekend or an existing bank holiday, an extra bank holiday will not be granted. If the funeral falls on a weekday, the government does not plan to order employers to give employees the day off — the documents say that is a matter between employees and their staff.'*
> 
> ...


her and Johnson really are an utterly useless combo


----------



## Kaka Tim (Nov 14, 2021)

tim said:


> Brenda seemed to be in good shape on that video link to the Cop jamboree.  She seems very take by Zoom, so I suspect she'll give up personal appearances, but compensate by doing more screen time.
> 
> Old people often take a long time to die, particularly if they feel the next generation vis a little too enthusiastic about inheriting.


Wasn't her cop video thing prerecorded?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 14, 2021)

Has Dave said if their programming will be affected by Liz throwing a seven?


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 14, 2021)

Kaka Tim said:


> Wasn't her cop video thing prerecorded?



Probably a deep fake. They can’t deep fake her actual body yet, so the important thing is whether she has been seen in person.


----------



## Badgers (Nov 14, 2021)

Predicted scenes...


----------



## tim (Nov 14, 2021)

Kaka Tim said:


> Wasn't her cop video thing prerecorded?


Probably, but only by a day or two.


----------



## brogdale (Nov 14, 2021)




----------



## T & P (Nov 14, 2021)

Bahnhof Strasse As U75’s official resident travel agent, I hope you are working on a range of last minute holidays that you can offer us when the tragic event happens. I for one would be willing to take a week break to anywhere departing the morning after the sad news, and weather the displeasure of my employer for the lack of notice.


----------



## BassJunkie (Nov 14, 2021)

She can't put her back into it, put her back into it? <plans what to do with the forthcoming day off>.


----------



## MickiQ (Nov 14, 2021)

I don't particularly want a day off for Brenda's funeral, being self-employed it will cost me money. So weekend will be good for me, preferably when it's summer again since I'm sure most places will be shut as a mark of respect. If the weather is warm we will have  a barbecue in her honour. I'm sure there's supposed to be a BH for Chucky's coronation or as that been knocked on the head as well.


----------



## Sue (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> Definitely not if the funeral falls on a weekend and otherwise only if our employers go for it.


My company is German so not sure how this ^ will go. I mean I can invoke the Saxe-Coburg thing and they may think we're more upset about it than a UK employer would*... Holding onto that anyway. 

*I was working in France when the Queen Morher died. My French colleagues were really surprised/shocked that me/other British people were like 🤷‍♀️. They all kept giving me their condolences. Which was...weird.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> My company is German so not sure how this ^ will go. I mean I can invoke the Saxe-Coburg thing and they may think we're more upset about it than a UK employer would*... Holding onto that anyway.
> 
> *I was working in France when the Queen Morher died. My French colleagues were really surprised/shocked that me/other British people were like 🤷‍♀️. They all kept giving me their condolences. Which was...weird.


Did they do anything concrete like buy you drinks?


----------



## Ax^ (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> My company is German so not sure how this ^ will go. I mean I can invoke the Saxe-Coburg thing and they may think we're more upset about it than a UK employer would*... Holding onto that anyway.
> 
> *I was working in France when the Queen Morher died. My French colleagues were really surprised/shocked that me/other British people were like 🤷‍♀️. They all kept giving me their condolences. Which was...weird.



jesus were you their for the Diana stuff


that must of been very werird


----------



## Sue (Nov 14, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Did they do anything concrete like buy you drinks?


No.  I think they thought I was weird because I didn't care. If there had been drinks in it, I would've feigned away obviously.


----------



## Sue (Nov 14, 2021)

Ax^ said:


> jesus were you their for the Diana stuff
> 
> 
> that must of been very werird


Nah, I was in London and that was bad enough...


----------



## Cloo (Nov 14, 2021)

It's going to get a bit tedious if everyone gets 'Oooh, maybe she's died' every time she doesn't make an appearance. For the last two years or so of his life after he hit 90, my granddad could never be sure if he could make it our or not on a given day - and he wasn't especially frail. It's entirely plausible Madge won't be able to attend things a lot of the time.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

Cloo said:


> It's going to get a bit tedious if everyone gets 'Oooh, maybe she's died' every time she doesn't make an appearance. For the last two years or so of his life after he hit 90, my granddad could never be sure if he could make it our or not on a given day - and he wasn't especially frail. It's entirely plausible Madge won't be able to attend things a lot of the time.


Yeh she'll send one of her doppelgangers


----------



## brogdale (Nov 14, 2021)

Cloo said:


> It's going to get a bit tedious if everyone gets 'Oooh, maybe she's died' every time she doesn't make an appearance. For the last two years or so of his life after he hit 90, my granddad could never be sure if he could make it our or not on a given day - and he wasn't especially frail. It's entirely plausible Madge won't be able to attend things a lot of the time.




On the 'Oooh, maybe she's died' thread!


----------



## Serene (Nov 14, 2021)

Has she ducked again? Philips death has hit her, it is affecting her mentally and physically. When someone has lived with their spouse for as long as this and they die, they often go downhill fast afterwards.


----------



## brogdale (Nov 14, 2021)

Serene said:


> Has she ducked again? Philips death has hit her, it is affecting her mentally and physically. When someone has lived with their spouse for as long as this and they die, they often go downhill fast afterwards.


Difficult to say...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 14, 2021)

T & P said:


> Bahnhof Strasse As U75’s official resident travel agent, I hope you are working on a range of last minute holidays that you can offer us when the tragic event happens. I for one would be willing to take a week break to anywhere departing the morning after the sad news, and weather the displeasure of my employer for the lack of notice.




Yeah, I am already preparing a number of breaks to nations that have violently deposed of their royals. There will of course be a “mourning levy” attached to such trips, but it’s once in a lifetime, or until Chaz croaks in three or four years when, hopefully you’ll have saved up enough for another trip…


----------



## Ax^ (Nov 14, 2021)

could just go to Sligo


----------



## brogdale (Nov 14, 2021)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Yeah, I am already preparing a number of breaks to nations that have violently deposed of their royals. There will of course be a “mourning levy” attached to such trips, but it’s once in a lifetime, or until Chaz croaks in three or four years when, hopefully you’ll have saved up enough for another trip…


_Narodnaya Volya tours_?


----------



## Serene (Nov 14, 2021)

The Queen did say that she was angered by people who dont do anything all their lives but sit around and give well-meaning speeches.


----------



## T & P (Nov 14, 2021)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Yeah, I am already preparing a number of breaks to nations that have violently deposed of their royals. There will of course be a “mourning levy” attached to such trips, but it’s once in a lifetime, or until Chaz croaks in three or four years when, hopefully you’ll have saved up enough for another trip…


That’s okay. I’ll offset the extra cost by selling a story to the Daily Mail of the missus and I going on holiday, packaged as ‘Sick ‘mourning dodging’ holidaymakers brag about enjoying a beach break to avoid national mourning period’. Extra money paid due to my being a foreigner, I am sure. You might as well upgrade us to the Presidential suite, come to think of it.


----------



## not a trot (Nov 14, 2021)

Serene said:


> Has she ducked again? Philips death has hit her, it is affecting her mentally and physically. When someone has lived with their spouse for as long as this and they die, they often go downhill fast afterwards.


They never lived as a normal couple though. They probably spent more time living apart. Even the kids had to book an appointment to visit Mummy.


----------



## Serene (Nov 14, 2021)

not a trot said:


> They never lived as a normal couple though. They probably spent more time living apart. Even the kids had to book an appointment to visit Mummy.


One of the gardeners saw Philip carrying a rolled up carpet out of Sandringham with one of his Butlers early one morning, and there was an arm hanging out of it.
OK I made that up.


----------



## ddraig (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> Nah, I was in London and that was bad enough...


I was in France and the hotel people were well shocked we weren't dressed in black and crying!


----------



## not a trot (Nov 14, 2021)

Serene said:


> One of the gardeners saw Philip carrying a rolled up carpet out of Sandringham with one of his Butlers early one morning, *and there was an arm hanging out of it.*
> OK I made that up.


 Probably Margaret, after a good night out.


----------



## tim (Nov 14, 2021)

Sue said:


> My company is German so not sure how this ^ will go. I mean I can invoke the Saxe-Coburg thing and they may think we're more upset about it than a UK employer would*... Holding onto that anyway.
> 
> *I was working in France when the Queen Morher died. My French colleagues were really surprised/shocked that me/other British people were like 🤷‍♀️. They all kept giving me their condolences. Which was...weird.


It'll be big in Hanover.


----------



## Cloo (Nov 14, 2021)

Even if they did hold back the news of the Queen's death for a few days (which they won't) it'd hardly be a conspiracy -  hiding it for months or years might be, but has been pointed out elsewhere, all mainstream news media has had a plan for this for years and there's no reason not to release it ASAP when it happens. Sure, now would be a particularly poor time for national morale, but that's going to remain the case for a period of years so it's not as if they can wait for a 'better moment' to announce it.


----------



## tim (Nov 14, 2021)

Serene said:


> Has she ducked again? Philips death has hit her, it is affecting her mentally and physically. When someone has lived with their spouse for as long as this and they die, they often go downhill fast afterwards.


Sentimental tosh! She didn't really live with him. Separate bedrooms in different wings; the occasional conception via sterling silver Turkey baster; twenty minutes every morning sneering at each other over Earl Grey Tea and a wall of Tupperware boxes filled with cereals; different itineraries most days and blanking each other at official banquets. She sent him off to live in a squalid shed in Norfolk for the last five years of his life.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

tim said:


> Sentimental tosh! She didn't really live with him. Separate bedrooms in different wings; the occasional conception via sterling silver Turkey baster; twenty minutes every morning sneering at each other over Earl Grey Tea and a wall of Tupperware boxes filled with cereals; different itineraries most days and blanking each other at official banquets. She sent him off to live in a squalid shed in Norfolk for the last five years of his life.


Like Blake off the archers


----------



## Serene (Nov 14, 2021)

tim said:


> Sentimental tosh! She didn't really live with him. Separate bedrooms in different wings; the occasional conception via sterling silver Turkey baster; twenty minutes every morning sneering at each other over Earl Grey Tea and a wall of Tupperware boxes filled with cereals; different itineraries most days and blanking each other at official banquets. She sent him off to live in a squalid shed in Norfolk for the last five years of his life.


When he crashed his Range Rover a few years back, he got the Queen to ask Tony Blair to take the points for him. He had asked the Queen to take the points, but that wouldnt have worked as she only drives dangerously on private roads.


----------



## tim (Nov 14, 2021)

Serene said:


> When he crashed his Range Rover a few years back, he got the Queen to ask Tony Blair to take the points for him. He had asked the Queen to take the points, but that wouldnt have worked as she only drives dangerously on private roads.


The crash was the end of his last failed bid for freedom. He was heading for a Greek safe-house in Islington where he would be issued with false papers and smuggled back to his Corfuviot homeland.


----------



## PR1Berske (Nov 14, 2021)

> _British King George V (1865 to 1936, left) was terminally bronchitic, bedridden, and passing repeatedly in and out of consciousness. Shortly after 11 pm on January 20, 1936, the Physician-in-Ordinary to the King administered a pair of lethal doses intravenously, to hasten the struggling monarch’s demise. This regicide was only revealed a half century later in the diary of the euthanizer, Lord Dawson of Penn (1864 to 1945), who penned: “I therefore decided to determine the end and injected (myself) morphia gr. 3/4 and shortly afterwards cocaine gr. 1 into the [King’s] distended jugular vein….” _


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 14, 2021)

the queen pulls a sickie on the day of a possible terrorist plot.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> the queen pulls a sickie on the day of a possible terrorist plot.


She was directing it from her bedroom


----------



## 8ball (Nov 14, 2021)

I’m sure at her age you can easily sprain your back sneezing.  
I’m half her age and manage to pick up random sleeping injuries.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 14, 2021)

8ball said:


> I’m sure at her age you can easily sprain your back sneezing.
> I’m half her age and manage to pick up random sleeping injuries.


I reckon she put her back out sleeping on a pea beneath her mattress


----------



## Wilf (Nov 15, 2021)

_Russ_ said:


> Aah a whole thread where the  zero self awareness woke crowd show their true shitehawk colours
> Nasty fuckers


30 years ago we'd have been called 'lefties'. Than it was 'politically correct' and nowadays it's the 'woke crowd', though I'm sure I'm missing a few of the intervening terms used by gurgling twatblankets like Spanner.


----------



## Wilf (Nov 15, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> Jade Goody died on Mothering Sunday which always struck me as being narratively convenient, so there's always a chance with Lizzy "going down with the setting of the sun"


Is there an _Arid Dry Nonce Day_ for her son to meet his maker on?


----------



## Wilf (Nov 15, 2021)

tim said:


> Sentimental tosh! She didn't really live with him. Separate bedrooms in different wings; the occasional conception via sterling silver Turkey baster; twenty minutes every morning sneering at each other over Earl Grey Tea and a wall of Tupperware boxes filled with cereals; different itineraries most days and blanking each other at official banquets. She sent him off to live in a squalid shed in Norfolk for the last five years of his life.


Was the squalid shed in Norfolk where they do the turkey basting?


----------



## lefteri (Nov 15, 2021)

tim said:


> The crash was the end of his last failed bid for freedom. He was heading for a Greek safe-house in Islington where he would be issued with false papers and smuggled back to his Corfuviot homeland.


he was danish - the greeks got rid of the cunts decades ago and he landed on his feet marrying brenda - there’s no homeland


----------



## 8ball (Nov 15, 2021)

Wilf said:


> 30 years ago we'd have been called 'lefties'. Than it was 'politically correct' and nowadays it's the 'woke crowd', though I'm sure I'm missing a few of the intervening terms used by gurgling twatblankets like Spanner.



Although 'zero self-awareness' is more politically neutral.


----------



## William of Walworth (Nov 15, 2021)

Cloo said:


> It's going to get a bit tedious if everyone gets 'Oooh, maybe she's died' every time she doesn't make an appearance. For the last two years or so of his life after he hit 90, my granddad could never be sure if he could make it our or not on a given day - and he wasn't especially frail. It's entirely plausible Madge won't be able to attend things a lot of the time.






			
				Cloo said:
			
		

> Even if they did hold back the news of the Queen's death for a few days (which they won't) it'd hardly be a conspiracy -  hiding it for months or years might be, but has been pointed out elsewhere, all mainstream news media has had a plan for this for years and there's no reason not to release it ASAP when it happens. Sure, now would be a particularly poor time for national morale, but that's going to remain the case for a period of years so it's not as if they can wait for a 'better moment' to announce it.



Very much agreeimg with Cloo 's thoughts here!  

Too many people on this thread are being over-optimistic about the supposed 'imminence' of her death IMO! 

I'll take longer odds that it will take a good while yet ..... as Cloo says, why would 'they' delay the announcement beyond a day or two, max?


----------



## Elpenor (Nov 15, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> _British King George V (1865 to 1936, left) was terminally bronchitic, bedridden, and passing repeatedly in and out of consciousness. Shortly after 11 pm on January 20, 1936, the Physician-in-Ordinary to the King administered a pair of lethal doses intravenously, to hasten the struggling monarch’s demise. This regicide was only revealed a half century later in the diary of the euthanizer, Lord Dawson of Penn (1864 to 1945), who penned: “I therefore decided to determine the end and injected (myself) morphia gr. 3/4 and shortly afterwards cocaine gr. 1 into the [King’s] distended jugular vein….”_


Rock and roll right till the end …


----------



## bluescreen (Nov 15, 2021)

William of Walworth said:


> Very much agreeimg with Cloo 's thoughts here!
> 
> Too many people on this thread are being over-optimistic about the supposed 'imminence' of her death IMO!
> 
> I'll take longer odds that it will take a good while yet ..... as Cloo says, why would 'they' delay the announcement beyond a day or two, max?


As I've said, they could never keep a lid on it for long. Everyone has a mobile phone and can you imagine what a red top might pay for an exclusive?


----------



## Serene (Nov 15, 2021)

Allegedly she missed the service yesterday because she pulled a muscle in her back whilst fly-tipping one of her Sofas out of the back of a van for the Council to take away. Allegedly her Servants had noticed a back street not far from the Palace that hasnt yet put cctv up. Allegedly she will be unable to do anything for another 2 weeks, at least, according to the claim made on the forms sent in for incapacity benefit.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 16, 2021)

They just leaked footage of a new Queen being carried into royal chambers. If Lizzy can't beat the challenger - as may well be the case given her failing lizard limbs - the cats will likely retake planetary overlordship.


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 17, 2021)

Apparently was she pictured doing a public engagement today. I had a look and the “public” engagement consisted of her standing in a room with one man, her room, in her castle, and the man was one of her military servants.


----------



## moochedit (Nov 17, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Apparently was she pictured doing a public engagement today. I had a look and the “public” engagement consisted of her standing in a room with one man, her room, in her castle, and the man was one of military servants.


Was she holding up today's newspaper?


----------



## moochedit (Nov 17, 2021)

I noticed the bbc news yesterday making a big thing out of Charles visting Jordan. Almost like they are trying to get us used to the idea of king chucky


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 17, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Was she holding up today's newspaper?



No, and her dress was out of character, so it was probably a waxwork.


----------



## andysays (Nov 18, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Was she holding up today's newspaper?


She still has a sore back and is unable to lift even a newspaper.

Disappointed she didn't get one of her flunkies to hold one up for her though...


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 18, 2021)

New prediction alert!

Compare this headline.... Prince Charles says The Queen is 'all right' but admits 'it's not as easy as it used to be once you get to 95' 

...to what Charles said of Philip 473 days before he died: Charles said: “He’s all right - once you get to that age, things don’t work as well. 

Using this 473-day rule gives a Queen demise date of 6 March 2023


----------



## moochedit (Nov 18, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> New prediction alert!
> 
> Compare this headline.... Prince Charles says The Queen is 'all right' but admits 'it's not as easy as it used to be once you get to 95'
> 
> ...


What dates were "good spirits" first mentioned for them both?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 18, 2021)

Any news ?


----------



## ska invita (Nov 18, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Any news ?


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 18, 2021)

moochedit said:


> What dates were "good spirits" first mentioned for them both?



It has been used a lot over the years but let's go with the usage after their most recent hospital visit:




This means the Queen died last Sunday the 14th of November.


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 18, 2021)

.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Nov 18, 2021)

ska invita said:


> View attachment 297262



Look at all that mismatched furniture and garish red carpet. That place could do with a proper makeover.


----------



## moochedit (Nov 18, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> It has been used a lot over the years but let's go with the usage after their most recent hospital visit:
> 
> 
> View attachment 297263
> ...


I knew it!


----------



## bluescreen (Nov 18, 2021)

skyscraper101 said:


> Look at all that mismatched furniture and garish red carpet. That place could do with a proper makeover.


Her dress really doesn't go with the upholstery.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 18, 2021)

bluescreen said:


> Her dress really doesn't go with the upholstery.


It's palace camouflage


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 18, 2021)

ska invita said:


> View attachment 297262


Cabinet on left. Is that a laptop leaning against the wall behind it? Is that her secret communication system to her lizardly overlords?


----------



## Sprocket. (Nov 18, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> It's palace camouflage


It’s in the chameleon DNA.


----------



## Flavour (Nov 18, 2021)

I don't think she's that close to the exit but we are definitely now in Phase 4


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 18, 2021)

Flavour said:


> I don't think she's that close to the exit but we are definitely now in Phase 4


Phasers set to stun I suppose, we won't believe what happens next


----------



## Idris2002 (Nov 18, 2021)

bluescreen said:


> Her dress really doesn't go with the upholstery.


But do the carpets match the drapes?

(sorry)


----------



## Wilf (Nov 18, 2021)

skyscraper101 said:


> Look at all that mismatched furniture and garish red carpet. That place could do with a proper makeover.


It's a royal edition of Cash in the Attic. 

'So Lizzie, if we get lucky at auction, you could make as much as £300! Will you be putting it towards a holiday?'
- No, it'll be going to my noncey son's legal expenses.


----------



## spitfire (Nov 18, 2021)

Wilf said:


> It's a royal edition of Cash in the Attic.
> 
> 'So Lizzie, if we get lucky at auction, you could make as much as £300! Will you be putting it towards a holiday?'
> - No, it'll be going to my noncey son's legal expenses.



I'd like to see a Royal Salvage Hunt with Drew Pritchard haggling with Brenda over £50 and his sidekick T making hilarious dad jokes at Drew's expense before she pops her clogs. Would be better than a Royal Knockout.

* insert Royal Man Hunt jokes below *


----------



## elbows (Nov 18, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> It's palace camouflage


Anti-penguin defensive measures.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 18, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> It has been used a lot over the years but let's go with the usage after their most recent hospital visit:
> 
> 
> View attachment 297263
> ...



Yes, I tend to take it at face value and assume it means her corpse is being marinaded in good spirits, like a decent boutique gin or red wine.


----------



## not a trot (Nov 18, 2021)

Idris2002 said:


> But do the carpets match the drapes?
> 
> (sorry)


Or match the colour of the fucking dogs.


----------



## stavros (Nov 18, 2021)

moochedit said:


> I noticed the bbc news yesterday making a big thing out of Charles visting Jordan.


That's modernising the Royal family, following in footsteps of Dwight Yorke, Peter Andre and any number of other "modern" celebs.


----------



## Sue (Nov 18, 2021)

Idris2002 said:


> But do the carpets match the drapes?
> 
> (sorry)


Drapes? DRAPES???


----------



## 8ball (Nov 18, 2021)

moochedit said:


> I noticed the bbc news yesterday making a big thing out of Charles visting Jordan.



They are a bit behind the times - she goes by 'Katie Price' these days.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 19, 2021)




----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 19, 2021)

Btw, the FB Diana group wot I took this from is utterly vicious


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 19, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Btw, the FB Diana group wot I took this from is utterly vicious


What, a secret cult of Diana fans - or worshippers - who have kept her faith since 1997?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 19, 2021)

A Princess Diana Facebook group is secretly populated by Gen-Z trolls mocking 'boomers,' members say
					

A  Facebook group where users roleplay people mourning Princess Diana has nearly 50,000 members — experts and members explain why.




					www.insider.com


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 19, 2021)

.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 19, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> .


I see your point


----------



## redcogs (Nov 19, 2021)

a good point well made


----------



## 8ball (Nov 19, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> A Princess Diana Facebook group is secretly populated by Gen-Z trolls mocking 'boomers,' members say
> 
> 
> A  Facebook group where users roleplay people mourning Princess Diana has nearly 50,000 members — experts and members explain why.
> ...



That's quite brilliant.

A fitting tribute to Ar Di.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Nov 19, 2021)

8ball said:


> That's quite brilliant.
> 
> A fitting tribute to Ar Di.


I'm very tempted to join.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 19, 2021)

Students are all over it. I have hope for the future


----------



## editor (Nov 19, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> A Princess Diana Facebook group is secretly populated by Gen-Z trolls mocking 'boomers,' members say
> 
> 
> A  Facebook group where users roleplay people mourning Princess Diana has nearly 50,000 members — experts and members explain why.
> ...









Just beautiful.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Nov 19, 2021)

I'm loving the Di facebook page already!


I made Ar Di as an Angle at Weatherspoons out of chips.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 19, 2021)

What have I done


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 19, 2021)

My kids got me into it btw


----------



## 8ball (Nov 19, 2021)

editor said:


> Just beautiful.



In my mind I can hear Alan Partridge reading that over the radio during _Mid-morning Matters_

I've just joined the group.


----------



## MickiQ (Nov 19, 2021)

I've just checked it out, how anyone can't realise this is a piss take is beyond me 
I particularly liked this one.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 19, 2021)

Is Prince Andrew dead yet?


----------



## pesh (Nov 19, 2021)




----------



## ElizabethofYork (Nov 19, 2021)

Oh god, that Diana facebook page is hysterical!


----------



## Serene (Nov 19, 2021)

I think she has got a restraining order against Alan Titchmarsh.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 20, 2021)

It's interesting how much more info you can pick up about the dying Queen via the uncensored foreign presses, particularly all the extreme violence, scheming and plots going on in the background, like with Camilla's evil plan to steal the throne and Wills, Harry and Charles at total war:


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 20, 2021)




----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 20, 2021)

Serene said:


> I think she has got a restraining order against Alan Titchmarsh.



Whut?


----------



## PR1Berske (Nov 20, 2021)

"Evil Camilla to seize throne!"

Constitutional law would indeed be thrown into confusion by that.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 20, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> "Evil Camilla to seize throne!"
> 
> Constitutional law would indeed be thrown into confusion by that.



I'd throw my lot in with Camilla's camp as they battle for the throne just for the lulz


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> I'd throw my lot in with Camilla's camp as they battle for the throne just for the lulz


If we have to have a monarch then Franz, Duke of Bavaria, should be on the throne - for more than 300 years usurpers and impostors have sat on the British throne


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> If we have to have a monarch then Franz, Duke of Bavaria, should be on the throne - for more than 300 years usurpers and impostors have sat on the British throne



Well I do like Bavarian Christmas markets and foods, so I could be easily persuaded if Franz makes a grand gesture, like giving all us poors free cake a few times a year or something


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 20, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> It's interesting how much more info you can pick up about the dying Queen via the uncensored foreign presses



That's because the Treason Act 1351 is still in force, making it an offence to compass or imagine her death.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> Well I do like Bavarian Christmas markets and foods, so I could be easily persuaded if Franz makes a grand gesture, like giving all us poors free cake a few times a year or something


Or feeding the entire Windsor clan to the penguins of the British Antarctic Territory


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> That's because the Treason Act 1351 is still in force, making it an offence to compass or imagine her death.


In that case everyone associated with operation London bridge should be in the tower


----------



## T & P (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> In that case everyone associated with operation London bridge should be in the tower


Not to mention us.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

T & P said:


> Not to mention us.


By the time they've nicked all the top cops and tfl people and journalists and courtiers and so forth the tower will be full to overflowing


----------



## 8ball (Nov 20, 2021)

Just occurred to me that when they said the Queen had “entered a new phase” and probably would not be seen until February, maybe they actually meant in a coffin.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

8ball said:


> Just occurred to me that when they said the Queen had “entered a new phase” and probably would not be seen until February, maybe they actually meant in a coffin.


No, she has simply shed her skin which is what herpetologists mean when they say entered a new phase


----------



## 8ball (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> No, she has simply shed her skin or as herpetologists say entered a new phase



Free from her corporeal cage, she could become more powerful than ever!


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

8ball said:


> Free from her corporeal cage, she could become more powerful than ever!


Only on the astral plane, from where she influences people's dreams


----------



## moochedit (Nov 20, 2021)

PR1Berske said:


> "Evil Camilla to seize throne!"


Does she have Dragons?


----------



## tim (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> What, a secret cult of Diana fans - or worshippers - who have kept her faith since 1997?


Since around 1957


----------



## tim (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> If we have to have a monarch then Franz, Duke of Bavaria, should be on the throne - for more than 300 years usurpers and impostors have sat on the British throne


A gay king, who was, at the age of 11 was imprisoned by the Nazis in Dachau,, would make a bit of a change.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

tim said:


> A gay king, who was, at the age of 11 was imprisoned by the Nazis in Dachau,, would make a bit of a change.


No pictures of him making fascist salutes. Better than the usurper windsor


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Does she have Dragons?


She is sadly an eager ad&der who does indeed have a complete run of dragon magazines


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> If we have to have a monarch then Franz, Duke of Bavaria, should be on the throne - for more than 300 years usurpers and impostors have sat on the British throne



Should be Simon Abney-Hastings the 15th Earl of Loudoun, because the children of Edward III were illegitimate and he is the direct descent of George Plantagenet Duke of Clarence who was the third son of Richard III.

I expect Simon to seize power within six months, before Charles gets a look-in, although judging by his Instagram he’ll need to fly back from Australia first so will have to brave the queues at Heathrow.


----------



## Aladdin (Nov 20, 2021)

T & P said:


> Not to mention us.


Not I..

😁


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

Sugar Kane said:


> Not I..
> 
> 😁


You must be the only person in the British isles who hasn't imagined it


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Should be Simon Abney-Hastings the 15th Earl of Loudoun, because the children of Edward III were illegitimate and he is the direct descent of George Plantagenet Duke of Clarence who was the third son of Richard III.
> 
> I expect Simon to seize power within six months, before Charles gets a look-in, although judging by his Instagram he’ll need to fly back from Australia first so will have to brave the queues at Heathrow.


Ah but the act of attainder on GP d o c was never reversed and affects his descendants


----------



## Aladdin (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You must be the only person in the British isles who hasn't imagined it




You got me wrong...

This was my train of thought.


platinumsage said:


> That's because the Treason Act 1351 is still in force, making it an offence to compass or imagine her death.





Pickman's model said:


> In that case everyone associated with operation London bridge should be in the tower





T & P said:


> Not to mention us.





Sugar Kane said:


> Not I..
> 
> 😁


 I am not a UK resident and owe no allegiance to queeny


----------



## agricola (Nov 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Should be Simon Abney-Hastings the 15th Earl of Loudoun, because the children of Edward III were illegitimate and he is the direct descent of George Plantagenet Duke of Clarence who was the third son of Richard III.
> 
> I expect Simon to seize power within six months, before Charles gets a look-in, although judging by his Instagram he’ll need to fly back from Australia first so will have to brave the queues at Heathrow.



Edward III?   Thats outrageous, Black Prince's Lives Matter.


----------



## Pingety Pong (Nov 20, 2021)

She might not be dead yet, but she has changed skin colour


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

Pingety Pong said:


> She might not be dead yet, but she has changed skin colour View attachment 297556


Yeh that's what they look like mere minutes after casting off her auld skin


----------



## brogdale (Nov 20, 2021)

Pingety Pong said:


> She might not be dead yet, but she has changed skin colour View attachment 297556



Not unusual for reptiles.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Nov 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Should be Simon Abney-Hastings the 15th Earl of Loudoun, because the children of Edward III were illegitimate and he is the direct descent of George Plantagenet Duke of Clarence who was the third son of Richard III.
> 
> I expect Simon to seize power within six months, before Charles gets a look-in, although judging by his Instagram he’ll need to fly back from Australia first so will have to brave the queues at Heathrow.


Sorry to be pedantic, but George was Richard's brother, not his son.


----------



## equationgirl (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You must be the only person in the British isles who hasn't imagined it


She's not in the British isles remember.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> She's not in the British isles remember.


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You must be the only person in the British isles who hasn't imagined it



Irish isles


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Irish isles


Happy to use that in future


----------



## Aladdin (Nov 20, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Irish isles


When Irish Isles are smiling.....


🙂


----------



## equationgirl (Nov 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Happy to use that in future


Irish isles would be preferable, I think - British isles can be a somewhat loaded term.


----------



## equationgirl (Nov 20, 2021)

And please quote a more reputable source that Wikipedia, which as you know can be edited to say anything you want it to.

I expected higher standards from you, sir.


----------



## brogdale (Nov 20, 2021)

Norman Davies suggested _The Isles _as a less loaded descriptor of the archipelago.


----------



## Serene (Nov 20, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> Whut?


I made it up.


----------



## not a trot (Nov 20, 2021)

Pingety Pong said:


> She might not be dead yet, but she has changed skin colour View attachment 297556


----------



## Idris2002 (Nov 20, 2021)

"North Atlantic Archipelago" - that's another one, coined by Charlie Haughey if memory serves.


----------



## A380 (Nov 20, 2021)

Idris2002 said:


> "North Atlantic Archipelago" - that's another one, coined by Charlie Haughey if memory serves.


Soon we will have to add Dogger Land to the list of islands.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> And please quote a more reputable source that Wikipedia, which as you know can be edited to say anything you want it to.
> 
> I expected higher standards from you, sir.


I look forward to you quoting something that gives the term a different meaning than the archipelago.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 20, 2021)

A380 said:


> Soon we will have to add Dogger Land to the list of islands.


One of teuchter's least favourite places


----------



## spitfire (Nov 20, 2021)

I've always seen British Isles as a purely geographic term, speaking as an Irish Republican (a bit of a wet one), it doesn't bother me. 

Don't be saying mainland when referring to Great Britain though, there lies trouble.

(People saying Eire gets on my tits tbh. Yes I know it's on the stamps but it's not the name of the country. The Republic, ROI, Ireland, all fine.).


----------



## spitfire (Nov 20, 2021)

equationgirl said:


> Irish isles would be preferable, I think - British isles can be a somewhat loaded term.



But yeah we can go with this as well.


----------



## Raheem (Nov 20, 2021)

If we dump "British Isles" now, we'll never be able to say "Formerly British Isles".


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 21, 2021)

spitfire said:


> I've always seen British Isles as a purely geographic term, speaking as an Irish Republican (a bit of a wet one), it doesn't bother me.
> 
> Don't be saying mainland when referring to Great Britain though, there lies trouble.
> 
> (People saying Eire gets on my tits tbh. Yes I know it's on the stamps but it's not the name of the country. The Republic, ROI, Ireland, all fine.).



"Free State" to these ears was sounding all archaic and dismissive in a unionist way. 

Mainland is a fucking disgrace and anyone who uses it should be put in the stocks.


----------



## Aladdin (Nov 21, 2021)

Raheem said:


> If we dump "British Isles" now, we'll never be able to say "Formerly British Isles".



FBI...

🤣


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

Ireland can be South Rockall, GB can be South-East Rockall, and the British Isles the Rockall Islands. This shouldn't piss anyone off except Iceland.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Ireland can be South Rockall, GB can be South-East Rockall, and the British Isles the Rockall Islands. This shouldn't piss anyone off except Iceland.


It'd make the atlas makers ecstatic


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> "Free State" to these ears was sounding all archaic and dismissive in a unionist way.


26 cos


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 21, 2021)

Free State implies the rest of the Isles is unfree of the Tory yoke. Which is true


----------



## spitfire (Nov 21, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> "Free State" to these ears was sounding all archaic and dismissive in a unionist way.
> 
> Mainland is a fucking disgrace and anyone who uses it should be put in the stocks.



Funny I always associated it more with the more hardcore republicans dismissive view of the 26 Co “interim administration”.  

But yeah can also see a spittle flecked unionist in a bowler hat raging about the dirty free state.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> Free State implies the rest of the Isles is unfree of the Tory yoke. Which is true


Free state implies the 26 cos is a land of liberty, a claim belied by the history of the polity


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Free state implies the 26 cos is a land of liberty, a claim belied by the history of the polity



Is it even possible to be free? Are we ever _free? Are_ we even free of ourselves? Oh for thee once _blah blah deep philosophical blah blah ethereal blah deep deep thought provoking blah blah_


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> Is it even possible to be free? Are we ever _free? Are_ we even free of ourselves? Oh for thee once _blah blah deep philosophical blah blah ethereal blah deep deep thought provoking blah blah_


Free from or free to?


----------



## A380 (Nov 21, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> Is it even possible to be free? Are we ever _free? Are_ we even free of ourselves? Oh for thee once _blah blah deep philosophical blah blah ethereal blah deep deep thought provoking blah blah_






Apparently yes. Unless you are saying a pizza lied to me…


----------



## A380 (Nov 21, 2021)

Anyway, we can’t change the name of the Islands or the tittle of this great artwork wouldn’t work anymore…


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 21, 2021)

The piss archipelago


----------



## A380 (Nov 21, 2021)

Airstrip One


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 21, 2021)

A380 said:


> Anyway, we can’t change the name of the Islands or the tittle of this great artwork wouldn’t work anymore…
> 
> View attachment 297636



Mean, yeah, sure.

But overall, look how green and awesomely beautiful the Republic is.

And no royalty involved, either.


----------



## extra dry (Nov 21, 2021)

Will she make it to christmas?


----------



## not a trot (Nov 21, 2021)

extra dry said:


> Will she make it to christmas?


Bit of a dilemma for the family. Do we buy her a pressie or not ?


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

extra dry said:


> Will she make it to christmas?



I read that she will record her Christmas message to the nation before Christmas, so presumably not.


----------



## brogdale (Nov 21, 2021)

Blithering on about her anus mortem, I expect.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> I read that she will record her Christmas message to the nation before Christmas, so presumably not.


this is how it has been done for many, many years so you're reading something into it which isn't there


----------



## 1927 (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> I read that she will record her Christmas message to the nation before Christmas, so presumably not.


They do that every year tho!


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

1927 said:


> They do that every year tho!





Pickman's model said:


> this is how it has been done for many, many years so you're reading something into it which isn't there


brilliant minds


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> this is how it has been done for many, many years so you're reading something into it which isn't there



You can't extrapolate from the past like that. In previous years she's recorded a message so she can drink more gin at Sandringham. But this year is it's obviously for posthumous broadcast.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> You can't extrapolate from the past like that. In previous years she's recorded a message so she can drink more gin Sandringham. But this year is it's obviously for posthumous broadcast.


what is special about gin sandringham?


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

She won't be able to drink this year, so it must be because she will be dead:









						Royal Doctors Want Queen Elizabeth to Stop Drinking
					

Sources close to Queen Elizabeth say that her royal medical staff wants her to give up her daily cocktail and Champagne nightcap.




					www.instyle.com


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> what is special about gin sandringham?



Your feeble attempts at pedantry are always undermined by your affectatious refusal to capitalize.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> She won't be able to drink this year, so it must be because she will be dead:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


from the tenor of your posts you've taken up what she's cut down


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> from the tenor of your posts you've taken up what she's cut down



Everyone will when King Charles is let loose on his unsuspecting subjects.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Your feeble attempts at pedantry are always undermined by your affectatious refusal to capitalize.


1) i'm an anti-capitalist; 2) if i was a pedant i'd be making a fuss out of your z fetish - americans capitalize while the british capitalise.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Everyone will when King Charles is let loose on his unsuspecting subjects.


yeh we've known for years he'd like to be george vii. do catch up.


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> 1) i'm an anti-capitalist; 2) if i was a pedant i'd be making a fuss out of your z fetish - americans capitalize while the british capitalise.



-ize originated in Britain, -ise is a recent adoption from the French and was originally favoured by the aristocracy.

-ise favourers are basically monarchists.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> -ize originated in Britain, -ise is a recent adoption from the French and was originally favoured by the aristocracy.
> 
> -ise favourers are basically monarchists.


so you're something of a little englander with your aversion to things from the continent.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Nov 21, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> ize originated in Britain, -ise is a recent adoption from the French and was originally favoured by the aristocracy.



You're right on the origin -- the OED still favours the -ize ending -- but what evidence is there for the aristocracy bit?


----------



## BoxRoom (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> this is how it has been done for many, many years so you're reading something into it which isn't there


I hope this years speech starts with her saying, "Hello! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave! Wooooo!" and she even does the wiggly fingers thing.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 21, 2021)

BoxRoom said:


> I hope this years speech starts with her saying, "Hello! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave! Wooooo!" and she even does the wiggly fingers thing.


rumours it will be a message from beyond the grave are just attempts to boost the viewing figures


----------



## brogdale (Nov 21, 2021)

If only Derek Acorah hadn't _passed, _Mrs Saxe-Coburg and Gotha could have had him channel the Greek through his spirit guide Sam.


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> so you're something of a little englander with your aversion to things from the continent.



No, more like a middle Englander as I'd quite happily post here only in 15th century Middle English if I could.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Nov 21, 2021)

Queen Liz(ard) has attended the christening of her great-grandsons in Windsor. Looking rather pale in the main pic for this article though, but it might just be the quality of the photo:









						Queen attends great-grandchildren’s joint christening despite health concerns
					

The Queen has attended what is believed to be the Royal family's first double christening, despite recent concerns for her health.




					uk.yahoo.com


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 21, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> Queen Liz(ard) has attended the christening of her great-grandsons in Windsor. Looking rather pale in the main pic for this article though, but it might just be the quality of the photo:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



They papped one of the babs that were being christened and there's something strange about its appearance:


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 21, 2021)

Count Cuckula said:


> Queen Liz(ard) has attended the christening of her great-grandsons in Windsor. Looking rather pale in the main pic for this article though, but it might just be the quality of the photo:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



She lives in Windsor Castle now so the headline should be: “Queen’s great-grandchildren’s joint christening held at her home because she’s terminally housebound”


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> americans capitalize while the british capitalise.



only really in recent decades after microsoft decided that the cambridge -ise not the oxford -ize was 'correct' english english (there's an episode of 'inspector morse' that hinges on morse spotting an -ise in an apparent suicide note typed by an oxford man and from that realizing that it was a forgery and therefore murder)


----------



## Serene (Nov 21, 2021)

The way things are going they might have to sell Princess Anne.


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 21, 2021)

The ize have it


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 22, 2021)

I haven’t turned the telly on yet as have had to feed the dog - any news ?


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Nov 22, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> I haven’t turned the telly on yet as have had to feed the dog - any news ?


Yep. The Queen has died, apparently.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 22, 2021)

I fed the dog her sardines respectfully and with reverence just in case I should have been inadvertently mourning but didn’t know it


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 22, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> I fed the dog her sardines respectfully just in case I should have been inadvertently mourning


Mackerel are for mourning, sardines are for sickness, haddock for happiness and cod for celebration


----------



## Chilli.s (Nov 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Mackerel are for mourning, sardines are for sickness, haddock for happiness and cod for celebration


Pilchards for party?


----------



## moochedit (Nov 22, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> I haven’t turned the telly on yet as have had to feed the dog - any news ?


No but keep refreshing this page. When it happens the official announcement will be made on urban75.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 22, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> Pilchards for party?


Pilchards are for prosperity


----------



## brogdale (Nov 22, 2021)




----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 22, 2021)

She had sardines with tomato sauce. A bit mad I know but there you go. 

The dog not  HRH btw


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 22, 2021)

HRH had swan, sturgeon and quail eggs for brekkie this morning


----------



## Badgers (Nov 22, 2021)

extra dry said:


> Will she make it to christmas?


Let's hope not


----------



## andysays (Nov 22, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> She had sardines with tomato sauce. A bit mad I know but there you go.
> 
> The dog not  HRH btw


Thinking of all the trouble her mum used to have, I hope you remembered to de-bone them first


----------



## Chilli.s (Nov 22, 2021)

andysays said:


> Thinking of all the trouble her mum used to have, I hope you remembered to de-bone them first


Some servant gets an OBE for that at the end of their career.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 22, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> Some servant gets an OBE for that at the end of their career.


the order of the brown nose would be more appropriate


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 22, 2021)




----------



## elbows (Nov 22, 2021)

krtek a houby said:


> The ize have it


Lizard, lisard, or Liz hard?


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 22, 2021)

elbows said:


> Lizard, lisard, or Liz hard?


liz hard only during rigor mortis


----------



## elbows (Nov 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> liz hard only during rigor mortis


Regina Mortis.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 22, 2021)

elbows said:


> Regina Mortis.


then there will be regina morticia


----------



## elbows (Nov 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> then there will be regina morticia


That will bring scandal once it becomes clear that a member of the household is a bit handsy.


----------



## tim (Nov 22, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Everyone will when King Charles is let loose on his unsuspecting subjects.



He, just like his predecessor and namesake, will be cut down when his subjects are let loose on his unsuspecting neck.


----------



## not a trot (Nov 22, 2021)

elbows said:


> Lizard, lisard, or Liz hard?



Eddie Izzard for Monarch.


----------



## Raheem (Nov 22, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Eddie Izzard for Monarch.


"Quing", I guess.


----------



## Serene (Nov 22, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> then there will be regina morticia



Morticia is one of my faves.


----------



## Serene (Nov 22, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Eddie Izzard for Monarch.


Do you know who that is? Thats Geoff Vader!


----------



## Serene (Nov 22, 2021)

Prince William said that his family, the Royal family, have no racists in it. He said they are the most woke family that can be imagined.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 22, 2021)

off to bed now. Got my black suit pressed and ready for the 8 AM announcement


----------



## moochedit (Nov 22, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> off to bed now. Got my black suit pressed and ready for the 8 AM announcement


I hope you have your U75 dark theme enabled?


----------



## steveseagull (Nov 22, 2021)

I have taken to sleeping in a suit, white shirt and black tie so I can get out of bed and get bang on it when the day comes.


----------



## Raheem (Nov 23, 2021)

Live every day as if it's her last.


----------



## brogdale (Nov 23, 2021)

It would be very convenient for Johnson if she were to cark tout suite


----------



## Almor (Nov 23, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> the order of the brown nose would be more appropriate


Order of the Brown Elbow since cutbacks have seen that member of staff take on responsibly for the Royal impacted bowel as well 😕


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 23, 2021)

Well that was an anti climax. I will put the black suit back in the Corby trouser press


----------



## moochedit (Nov 23, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Well that was an anti climax. I will put the black suit back in the Corby trouser press


Just repeat every day. One day it won't be a drill!


----------



## not a trot (Nov 23, 2021)

brogdale said:


> It would be very convenient for Johnson if she were to cark tout suite



Yeah, he can take Peppa Pig to the funeral.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Nov 23, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Yeah, he can take Peppa Pig to the funeral.


he would be fighting with davy boy for that date.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Nov 27, 2021)




----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2021)

steveseagull said:


> I have taken to sleeping in a suit, white shirt and black tie so I can get out of bed and get bang on it when the day comes.


You're coming to the u75 blues brothers party then


----------



## steveseagull (Nov 28, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> You're coming to the u75 blues brothers party then


Love to squire! Though will depend on how near death she is.


----------



## platinumsage (Nov 28, 2021)

Hmmm, according to most sources she’s all set for hosting a bumper xmas at Sandringham, which perhaps indicates her “sprained back” etc was just a ruse because she couldn’t be arsed to do all those events. Without Philip nagging her it’s probably become a lot easier to do whatever the fuck she feels like.


----------



## Carvaged (Nov 28, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Hmmm, according to most sources she’s all set for hosting a bumper xmas at Sandringham, which perhaps indicates her “sprained back” etc was just a ruse because she couldn’t be arsed to do all those events. Without Philip nagging her it’s probably become a lot easier to do whatever the fuck she feels like.



The sprained back was because, quite rightly, the Irish/Higgins were having none of the Northern Ireland centenary 'celebrations' and threw a DNA. Imagine being expected to attend a celebration to the brutal dismemberment and occupation of your own country and decades of civil unrest as a result?


----------



## brogdale (Nov 28, 2021)

She'll cark tonight, just to stop Barbados ditching her as HoS.


----------



## Raheem (Nov 28, 2021)

Surely Barbados would just think God was with them.


----------



## moochedit (Nov 29, 2021)

brogdale said:


> She'll cark tonight, just to stop Barbados ditching her as HoS.


Can't really see the prospect of chucky as Hos would convince them to stick with the monarchy


----------



## AnnO'Neemus (Nov 29, 2021)

T & P said:


> Bahnhof Strasse As U75’s official resident travel agent, I hope you are working on a range of last minute holidays that you can offer us when the tragic event happens. I for one would be willing to take a week break to anywhere departing the morning after the sad news, and weather the displeasure of my employer for the lack of notice.


Being abroad doesn't guarantee escape from maudlin sentiments. Me and then-bf were in Dublin on the day of Diana's funeral and an American overheard our British accents and told us she was "Sorry for your loss'" which was a bit weird, I mean it's not like we were BFFs, so I didn't personally feel any loss.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 29, 2021)




----------



## Serene (Nov 30, 2021)

Has anyone got pics of Charles taking the knee in Barbados?


----------



## Raheem (Nov 30, 2021)

This is one of him just after taking a knee.


----------



## Sue (Nov 30, 2021)

Raheem said:


> This is one of him just after taking a knee.


Strained back obviously runs in the family...


----------



## eatmorecheese (Nov 30, 2021)

Raheem said:


> This is one of him just after taking a knee.


Piles. Duchy Original farmers.


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 30, 2021)

Raheem said:


> This is one of him just after taking a knee.


That is a really shot covid haircut


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 30, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


>



That's your finest post this decade


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 30, 2021)

moochedit said:


> Can't really see the prospect of chucky as Hos would convince them to stick with the monarchy


They won't believe what he does then


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 7, 2021)

Answer: the big men with guns who constantly monitor the old gal would machine gun the fucking thing


----------



## stavros (Dec 10, 2021)

It'd be really useful for the Government if she were to kark it now. "Woman has baby" hasn't worked for them, so they'll be hoping "very old woman dies" will distract everyone.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 10, 2021)

stavros said:


> It'd be really useful for the Government if she were to kark it now. "Woman has baby" hasn't worked for them, so they'll be hoping "very old woman dies" will distract everyone.


Old woman is lizard


----------



## bluescreen (Dec 10, 2021)

Elizard II


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Dec 10, 2021)

Perhaps she'll die on Christmas Day.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 10, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Perhaps she'll die on Christmas Day.


Why must she wait that long?


----------



## Chilli.s (Dec 10, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Perhaps she'll die on Christmas Day.


Then the poor idiots who actually think she does that speech live will have kittens, it's a double win!


----------



## Carvaged (Dec 10, 2021)

I was just checking for news and it looks like Camilla's back with yet another evil plan to steal the throne


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2021)

Chilli.s said:


> Then the poor idiots who actually think she does that speech live will have kittens, it's a double win!




Not live? What a swizz! Shouldn't be surprised, am starting to suspect that religious cult she heads up maybe worshiping false idols...


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 10, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> I was just checking for news and it looks like Camilla's back with yet another evil plan to steal the throne


That's got to be pretty old surely, Katie's youngest is about 3.5 now and Brenda still kicking


----------



## Carvaged (Dec 10, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> That's got to be pretty old surely, Katie's youngest is about 3.5 now and Brenda still kicking



Hard to say, she probably has another in the oven just for use in case of headline emergencies


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Dec 10, 2021)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Perhaps she'll die on Christmas Day


Whenever she dies will be Christmas Day for some.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 10, 2021)

Kevbad the Bad said:


> Whenever she dies will be Christmas Day for some.


Like a winter with a thousand Christmases


----------



## 8ball (Dec 15, 2021)

Carvaged said:


> I was just checking for news and it looks like Camilla's back with yet another evil plan to steal the throne



She looks quite well there.

Then again, so does Marilyn Monroe...


----------



## moochedit (Dec 16, 2021)

BBC News - Queen cancels pre-Christmas family lunch as Omicron surges








						Queen cancels pre-Christmas family lunch as Omicron surges
					

A source says there was concern the event could put too many people's Christmas plans at risk.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 16, 2021)

She knows Omicron will be the thing that kills her because it almost rhymes with “oh, my crown”


----------



## elbows (Dec 16, 2021)

moochedit said:


> BBC News - Queen cancels pre-Christmas family lunch as Omicron surges
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'd never normally post the fucking Sun front page but on this occasion I will, given that just the other day they tried to use the Queens plans to peddle a disgraceful pandemic agenda....

Ha ha ha.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 16, 2021)

elbows said:


> I'd never normally post the fucking Sun front page but on this occasion I will, given that just the other day they tried to use the Queens plans to peddle a disgraceful pandemic agenda....
> 
> Ha ha ha.
> 
> View attachment 301075


the people's paper MY ARSE


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 16, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> the people's paper MY ARSE


The people’s arse paper probably.


----------



## elbows (Dec 16, 2021)

A free covid death for every reader.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 16, 2021)

8ball said:


> She looks quite well there.
> 
> Then again, so does Marilyn Monroe...


  More importantly, why did no one tell me about Roy Roger’s sexual exploits ?


----------



## RainbowTown (Dec 16, 2021)

elbows said:


> I'd never normally post the fucking Sun front page but on this occasion I will, given that just the other day they tried to use the Queens plans to peddle a disgraceful pandemic agenda....
> 
> Ha ha ha.
> 
> View attachment 301075



There's always Plan B................food poisoning. 

Just sayin'................


----------



## pbsmooth (Dec 16, 2021)

and how fucking disgusting is using that child's death to crowbar in some "woke" culture war bullshit.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 16, 2021)




----------



## platinumsage (Dec 16, 2021)

brogdale said:


>




For clarity this tweet by Wickham satirizes a now deleted tweet by Joy Morrissey MP in which she criticised Chris Whitty


----------



## brogdale (Dec 16, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> For clarity this is tweet by Wickham satirizes a now deleted tweet by Joy Morrissey MP in which she criticised Chris Whitty


Indeed.


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 20, 2021)

She will never leave Windsor ever again:









						Covid-19: The Queen cancels spending Christmas in Sandringham
					

The Queen will stay in Windsor Castle for Christmas, amid concerns over the Omicron variant.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 20, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> She will never leave Windsor ever again:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Sure she will, there'll be the lying in state in Westminster for a start


----------



## Santino (Dec 20, 2021)

If she remained in Windsor and plugged herself into machinery that extended her life indefinitely, like the Emperor in Warhammer 40K, I could at least respect that.

DotCommunist


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 20, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> Sure she will, there'll be the lying in state in Westminster for a start



There’s a waxwork for that, she’ll be too disfigured by the manner of her departure from this life.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 20, 2021)

Santino said:


> If she remained in Windsor and plugged herself into machinery that extended her life indefinitely, like the Emperor in Warhammer 40K, I could at least respect that.
> 
> DotCommunist


Michael Moorcock based king huon in the runestaff stories on Elizabeth ii


----------



## stavros (Dec 21, 2021)

Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of this thread starting. Has everyone bought their commemorative tea towel?


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 21, 2021)

There will be more than enough commemorative tat to go round when she carks


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 21, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> There will be more than enough commemorative tat to go round when she carks


everyone will want a bit of her to make sure she can never reassemble her body and return


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 21, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> everyone will want a bit of her to make sure she can never reassemble her body and return


Always possess someone elses


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 21, 2021)

they buried ceausescu and mrs ceausescu in different plots so they could not meet in the afterlife


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 21, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> they buried ceausescu and mrs ceausescu in different plots so they could not meet in the afterlife


I mean they won’t because there isn’t one, but I appreciate the sentiment.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 21, 2021)

MickiQ said:


> Always possess someone elses


It's more Osiris having his body chopped up by set than demonic possession


----------



## Carvaged (Dec 21, 2021)

After doing some deep research, I'm starting to believe the mysterious 'Penny' could be the cause of the Queen's recent ill health and decline and the plots to steal the throne and whatnot, and not - as we had heretofore assumed - Camilla with her various evil schemes and plots 🤔


----------



## not a trot (Dec 22, 2021)

Her son in law, whatever his name is, has tested positive. So they won't be visiting her. Another near miss for her. Getting close though.


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 24, 2021)

She’s absolutely fine. No cause for concern.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 24, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> She’s absolutely fine. No cause for concern.
> 
> View attachment 302764


Still nothing tops this one of the golden piano year:


----------



## stavros (Dec 24, 2021)

Just how personal remains to be seen. "Now my overly PC husband is out of the way I'd like to declare the following people utter cunts..."


----------



## tommers (Dec 24, 2021)




----------



## Chilli.s (Dec 24, 2021)

She is so far removed from my life, my families lives and the lives of everyone I know that I think it's setting the target a bit too high for herself


----------



## Raheem (Dec 24, 2021)

She needs to sign off by inviting us to smash that like button.


----------



## Carvaged (Dec 24, 2021)

Raheem said:


> She needs to sign off by inviting us to smash that like button.



And hit SUBSCRIBE!

*Also hit the bell for reminders


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 24, 2021)

I heard on the radio today that Queen Victoria died after celebrating her final Christmas. 

I reckon the current queen might just do the same.


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 24, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> I heard on the radio today that Queen Victoria died after celebrating her final Christmas.
> That’s so weird, so did _all_ my grandparents!


----------



## platinumsage (Dec 25, 2021)

Apparently she wasn‘t able to attend church this morning. In her chapel, located in her own castle where she’s living. There’s only one conclusion that can be taken from this.


----------



## danny la rouge (Dec 25, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Apparently she wasn‘t able to attend church this morning. In her chapel, located in her own castle where she’s living. There’s only one conclusion that can be taken from this.


Heroic hangover.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 25, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Apparently she wasn‘t able to attend church this morning. In her chapel, located in her own castle where she’s living. There’s only one conclusion that can be taken from this.



She's realised it doesn't fucking matter about praying to the sky fairy at 8am?


Y'know, like a sensible person grows out of in their teens


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Dec 25, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Apparently she wasn‘t able to attend church this morning. In her chapel, located in her own castle where she’s living. There’s only one conclusion that can be taken from this.



She's converted to islam


----------



## N_igma (Dec 25, 2021)

Exclusive preview of the Queen’s Speech


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 25, 2021)

N_igma said:


> Exclusive preview of the Queen’s Speech
> 
> View attachment 302960


----------



## not a trot (Dec 25, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> Heroic hangover.


Couldn't be arsed like the rest of us.


----------



## brogdale (Dec 25, 2021)

I did check; this is a Labour MP:


----------



## brogdale (Dec 25, 2021)

Come on...own up...who was it?


----------



## Raheem (Dec 25, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Come on...own up...who was it?
> 
> View attachment 302982


Andrew.


----------



## Badgers (Dec 25, 2021)

Raheem said:


> Andrew.


Came here to post that 😡

😁


----------



## Weller (Dec 25, 2021)

came here to post that  too


----------



## brogdale (Dec 25, 2021)

Weller said:


> came here to post that  too
> 
> 
> View attachment 303006


Full-on Dipendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev stylee?


----------



## Raheem (Dec 25, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Full-on Dipendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev stylee?


It's just a straightforward shooting weekend.


----------



## spitfire (Dec 25, 2021)

Raheem said:


> It's just a straightforward shooting weekend.



Bet Brenda want expecting to be the hunted.


----------



## iveivan (Dec 25, 2021)

platinumsage said:


> Apparently she wasn‘t able to attend church this morning. In her chapel, located in her own castle where she’s living. There’s only one conclusion that can be taken from this.


She was raiding the Quality Street early after the year she’s had


----------



## brogdale (Dec 26, 2021)

Crossbow, then...did we know that?


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Dec 26, 2021)

So why are they making fake cgi Christmas speeches for?


----------



## stavros (Dec 26, 2021)

brogdale said:


> Crossbow, then...did we know that?



The first image of the intruder is released:


----------



## Aladdin (Dec 27, 2021)

View attachment reface-2021-12-27-01-41-02.mp4

She's definitely a Bee Gees fan...


----------



## ska invita (Jan 3, 2022)

Seems like the BBC have taken to playing Celebrity Death Pool


----------



## platinumsage (Jan 4, 2022)

ska invita said:


> Seems like the BBC have taken to playing Celebrity Death Pool
> View attachment 304417



Judging from the picture and her behaviour following Philip's death, it looks like that's referring to her attendance at the funeral of the rest of the royal family following a terrorist outrage or mass poisoning event


----------



## stavros (Jan 4, 2022)

I am seeing more promotion of the extra bank holiday this year, so the powers that be obviously believe the batteries will last until then.


----------



## platinumsage (Jan 4, 2022)

stavros said:


> I am seeing more promotion of the extra bank holiday this year, so the powers that be obviously believe the batteries will last until then.



Or that the bank holiday could most conveniently be repurposed for Charles's coronation...


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jan 10, 2022)

Liz could have some Islamic heritage according to the Mirror  😂









						Queen could be related to Prophet Muhammad due to possible Spanish ancestor
					

Some historians claim that the Queen is a distant relative to the Prophet Muhammad - the founder of Islam - after they studied 43 generations of her family tree




					www.mirror.co.uk


----------



## platinumsage (Jan 10, 2022)

It all makes sense now. Diana wasn’t targeted for dating a Muslim, but for not marrying him.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 10, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Or that the bank holiday could most conveniently be repurposed for Charles's coronation...



dunno

it was over a year between king george vi falling off his perch and the coronation, and edward viii never got a coronation before he quit


----------



## Raheem (Jan 10, 2022)

Apparently, a competition opened today to design a pudding for one of the Queen's upcoming birthdays.

Best of luck, urbs.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 10, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Apparently, a competition opened today to design a pudding for one of the Queen's upcoming birthdays.
> 
> Best of luck, urbs.


Archaic, obsolete, anachronism must crumble?


----------



## Raheem (Jan 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Archaic, obsolete, anachronism must crumble?


Parasitic spongecake.


----------



## not a trot (Jan 10, 2022)

A fucking huge spotted dick, just for the fun of it.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 10, 2022)

Apple paedophile information exchange


----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 10, 2022)

regicider lolly


----------



## 8ball (Jan 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Apple paedophile information exchange



If it wins the dessert competition it will be preceded by “Royal”.  Meaning it would have the acronym RAPIE.  This could be considered poor taste.


----------



## stavros (Jan 10, 2022)




----------



## stavros (Jan 14, 2022)




----------



## Carvaged (Jan 21, 2022)




----------



## Elpenor (Jan 23, 2022)

She’s been flown to Sandringham by helicopter - tremendous environmental credentials as ever from our lizard rulers. 









						Queen flies to Sandringham after Christmas Covid delay
					

The 95-year-old is expected to spend a few weeks in Norfolk, after her Christmas visit was postponed.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## equationgirl (Jan 23, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> She’s been flown to Sandringham by helicopter - tremendous environmental credentials as ever from our lizard rulers.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Somehow I doubt she flew in a Chinook with no at-seat service...


----------



## bluescreen (Jan 23, 2022)

equationgirl said:


> Somehow I doubt she flew in a Chinook with no at-seat service...


And we can be sure that of all the helicopter pilots she could draw on, there was one left twiddling his thumbs.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 24, 2022)

ach, shes an auld wifie. give her a break. i would do the same if i was emperor and well old


----------



## equationgirl (Jan 24, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> ach, shes an auld wifie. give her a break. i would do the same if i was emperor and well old


To be fair, helicopter was probably the quickest way to get her to Sandringham.


----------



## Raheem (Jan 24, 2022)

equationgirl said:


> To be fair, helicopter was probably the quickest way to get her to Sandringham.


Trebuchet?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 24, 2022)

I kinda dont hate the like actual queen you know , its her job, thats her trade - her brood however are parasites who really should know better.


----------



## Elpenor (Jan 24, 2022)

equationgirl said:


> To be fair, helicopter was probably the quickest way to get her to Sandringham.


If only there was a royal train she could use


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 24, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> If only there was a royal train she could use



maybe she didn't want to be 22 minutes late due to engineering work at slough?


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Jan 24, 2022)

thats not engineering work, that is Slough.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 24, 2022)

you'd think she'd have her own hi-end tour bus with PlayStation, minibar, wide screen tv and jacuzzi.


----------



## Teaboy (Jan 24, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> you'd think she'd have her own hi-end tour bus with PlayStation, minibar, wide screen tv and jacuzzi.



Or at least a VIP section on the Megabus?


----------



## Chilli.s (Jan 24, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> She’s been flown to Sandringham by helicopter - tremendous environmental credentials as ever from our lizard rulers.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


while she gets the 5star service there are other 95 year-olds missing out on their care either residential or in their own homes because of a  broken low wage industry


----------



## donkyboy (Feb 2, 2022)

Who is ready to celebrate the Queens Jubbly? 









						'Platinum Jubbly': The Queen's 70-year reign gets an Only Fools and Horses twist
					

A Chinese manufacturer makes 10,800 tea cups, mugs and plates to mark the Queen's seven decades as monarch, only to discover a vital spelling mistake.




					news.sky.com
				






> A Chinese manufacturer makes 10,800 tea cups, mugs and plates to mark the Queen's seven decades as monarch, only to discover a vital spelling mistake


----------



## MickiQ (Feb 2, 2022)

Where's Trotter's Independent Trading when you need them?


----------



## andysays (Feb 2, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Where's Trotter's Independent Trading when you need them?



"New York, Paris, Peckham Beijing"


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 2, 2022)

Just checking. It’s my birthday, you see.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Feb 2, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Just checking. It’s my birthday, you see.


Happy birthday. Have a good un.


----------



## ska invita (Feb 2, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Just checking. It’s my birthday, you see.


Again ?


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 2, 2022)

ska invita said:


> Again ?


 I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 2, 2022)

ska invita said:


> Again ?


Like the queen dlr celebrates several natal days


----------



## DaveCinzano (Feb 2, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Like the queen dlr celebrates several natal days


But no Freistata ones


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 2, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> But no Freistata ones


Does he do the Nova Scotia one?


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 2, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Like the queen dlr celebrates several natal days


57 so far.  Unlike my Uncle Martin, who was born on 29th February.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 2, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> 57 so far.  Unlike my Uncle Martin, who was born on 29th February.


The Russians born on 30 Feb celebrated even fewer


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 2, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> The Russians born on 30 Feb celebrated even fewer


And those born in the “monthless” days must have been confused af!


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 2, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> And those born in the “monthless” days must have been confused af!


They surely were


----------



## stavros (Feb 3, 2022)

A lot of Private Eye's joke pages are done on autopilot, but this made me chuckle:


----------



## moochedit (Feb 3, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Just checking. It’s my birthday, you see.


Yes she was killed this morning by a hypnotised corgi


----------



## brogdale (Feb 5, 2022)

The Queen is dead; long live the Queen...


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 5, 2022)

What exactly did Johnson bribe her with for this particular dead cat?  Did he offer to name a tube line after her or something? That’s the Sunday paper headlines going off at a tangent for this week.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 5, 2022)

brogdale said:


> The Queen is dead; long live the Queen...



Charles must never be king


----------



## brogdale (Feb 5, 2022)

Dogsauce said:


> What exactly did Johnson bribe her with for this particular dead cat?  Did he offer to name a tube line after her or something? That’s the Sunday paper headlines going off at a tangent for this week.


This is enough to turn my monarchist old Mum into a republican; she hates the old witch that caused the Queen of out hearts to be murdered.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 5, 2022)

Carvaged said:


> I was just checking for news and it looks like Camilla's back with yet another evil plan to steal the throne


It looks like she might succeed


----------



## DaveCinzano (Feb 5, 2022)

Is no one going to acknowledge the Roy Rogers bombshell?!


----------



## Elpenor (Feb 5, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Is no one going to acknowledge the Roy Rogers bombshell?!


Roy Rogers - Trigger - Someone called Dave is posting. Spooky


----------



## MrCurry (Feb 6, 2022)

brogdale said:


> The Queen is dead; long live the Queen...



This must be confirmation of imminent Queen death more than anything else which has been said or done recently. That’s the one announcement they have delayed as long as possible, giving the public maximum time to forget Diana’s enmity to horse-face.


----------



## platinumsage (Feb 6, 2022)

Just leaving this here.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 6, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Just leaving this here.
> 
> View attachment 308939


Like a shit on the doorstep


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 6, 2022)

brogdale said:


> This is enough to turn my monarchist old Mum into a republican; she hates the old witch that caused the Queen of out hearts to be murdered.


Yeah if you search "Diana Camilla" on Twitter you get quite the insight into the Queen Of Hearts superfans.


----------



## krtek a houby (Feb 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Like a shit on the doorstep


In the windmills of your mind


----------



## DaveCinzano (Feb 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Like a shit on the doorstep


<Crocodile Dundee>



Spoiler: You're not eating, are you?







</Crocodile Dundee>


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 6, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> <Crocodile Dundee>
> 
> 
> 
> ...


not any more


----------



## not-bono-ever (Feb 6, 2022)

She is dead to me


----------



## MickiQ (Feb 6, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Yeah if you search "Diana Camilla" on Twitter you get quite the insight into the Queen Of Hearts superfans.


Oh yeah that was a bit of a rabbit hole, good stock of premium crazy down that one.


----------



## killer b (Feb 6, 2022)

This is pretty sensational.


----------



## two sheds (Feb 8, 2022)

she's on her way out the vultures are circling  









						Prince Charles to ‘move into’ Buckingham Palace when he’s King
					

The Prince of Wales currently resides in Clarence House while the Queen lives in Windsor Castle




					www.independent.co.uk


----------



## MickiQ (Feb 8, 2022)

two sheds said:


> she's on her way out the vultures are circling
> 
> 
> 
> ...


So who lives in the country's poshest council house at the moment then?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Feb 9, 2022)

What the fuck.


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 9, 2022)

It’s the Express. It’s not actually real news or anything. Complete fantasyland stuff. I think most people know that.


----------



## stavros (Feb 9, 2022)

two sheds said:


> she's on her way out the vultures are circling
> 
> 
> 
> ...


So the news is that the monarch will live where the monarch has lived for nearly 200 years?


----------



## Teaboy (Feb 9, 2022)

stavros said:


> So the news is that the monarch will live where the monarch has lived for nearly 200 years?



Its a real exclusive the Indy has bagged there.  Maybe they've also got the scoop on what title he will be getting?  Will it be King?


----------



## brogdale (Feb 9, 2022)

stavros said:


> So the news is that the monarch will live where the monarch has lived for nearly 200 years?


The cunts have loads of fucking castles, palaces and other shite...to pretend they live in one place is just nonsense.


----------



## two sheds (Feb 9, 2022)

stavros said:


> So the news is that the monarch will live where the monarch has lived for nearly 200 years?


I don't think she's that old


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 9, 2022)

stavros said:


> So the news is that the monarch will live where the monarch has lived for nearly 200 years?


the queen famously hates buckingham palace and stays at windsor as much as she can. queen victoria rarely set foot in london after albert's death. it's by no means the primary place the monarchy has lived, it's been given a spurious importance far above the amount of time the monarchy has spent there.


----------



## Yossarian (Feb 9, 2022)

two sheds said:


> she's on her way out the vultures are circling
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Waiting for the Independent to report: "Breaking: Charles will wear some kind of crown when he becomes king. Click to find out about the big change that will be made to the national anthem."


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 9, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Waiting for the Independent to report: "Breaking: Charles will wear some kind of crown when he becomes king. Click to find out about the big change that will be made to the national anthem."


you won't believe what they sang next


----------



## stavros (Feb 9, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Waiting for the Independent to report: "Breaking: Charles will wear some kind of crown when he becomes king. Click to find out about the big change that will be made to the national anthem."


"Bears reveal their ecclesiastical preferences."


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 9, 2022)

Teaboy said:


> Its a real exclusive the Indy has bagged there.  Maybe they've also got the scoop on what title he will be getting?  Will it be King?


We don't know if he'll be Charles III or George VII yet. Apparently there is some wariness about the former because the two previous Charles' were quite the characters of history....


----------



## brogdale (Feb 9, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> We don't know if he'll be Charles III or George VII yet. Apparently there is some wariness about the former because the two previous Charles' were quite the characters of history....


Could be King Arthur.


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Could be King Arthur.


Indeed!


----------



## Artaxerxes (Feb 9, 2022)

stavros said:


> So the news is that the monarch will live where the monarch has lived for nearly 200 years?



Isn't the official residence Windsor?

Doesn't matter anyway, they've got a dozen pads they can call home.


----------



## Sue (Feb 9, 2022)

Teaboy said:


> Its a real exclusive the Indy has bagged there.  Maybe they've also got the scoop on what title he will be getting?  Will it be King?


No, because Elvis is the King.


----------



## not a trot (Feb 9, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> We don't know if he'll be Charles III or George VII yet. Apparently there is some wariness about the former because the two previous Charles' were quite the characters of history....



King Charley has a nice comfy ring to it, not that I give a fuck.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 10, 2022)

I hear that old sausage fingers has the rona


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 10, 2022)

not a trot said:


> King Charley has a nice comfy ring


😐


----------



## Sprocket. (Feb 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I hear that old sausage fingers has the rona


And by strange coincidence so does the Welsh first minister!


----------



## ddraig (Feb 10, 2022)

Sprocket. said:


> And by strange coincidence so does the Welsh first minister!


???


----------



## Sprocket. (Feb 10, 2022)

ddraig said:


> ???


Poor humour, no offence intended.


----------



## ddraig (Feb 10, 2022)

Sprocket. said:


> Poor humour, no offence intended.


Don't get it!


----------



## Sprocket. (Feb 10, 2022)

ddraig said:


> Don't get it!


I saw that both of them were isolating for covid at the same time on the BBC.
Just coincidence, nothing more.


----------



## Bingoman (Feb 10, 2022)

It just been reported that Prince Charles who just test positive for covid recently met with the queen but she has not any symptoms?


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I hear that old sausage fingers has the rona


Isn't that his second time?


----------



## brogdale (Feb 10, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Isn't that his second time?


Looks like omicron is no respecter of the regal antibodies.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Feb 10, 2022)




----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 10, 2022)

skyscraper101 said:


>



To be fair though, there will be a period of 7 days after having contact with a positive case during which it is not possible to confirm or deny that you have contracted Covid.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I hear that old sausage fingers has the rona


sadly he's had three injections


----------



## not-bono-ever (Feb 10, 2022)

Cold blooded life forms do not get covid


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Cold blooded life forms do not get covid


the lizard that is prince charles has only claimed to have it to boost his poll ratings


----------



## Artaxerxes (Feb 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I hear that old sausage fingers has the rona



He attended a big shindig with quite a few celebs last night. Didn’t see to many masks on the photos


----------



## brogdale (Feb 10, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> He attended a big shindig with quite a few celebs last night. Didn’t see to many masks on the photos


Chancellor & Home Secretary were there.


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 10, 2022)

Imagine if he died before his Maw.


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Imagine if he died before his Maw.



That would be quite the narrative. Waited his entire life for a job and didn't even get it seventy years on.


----------



## elbows (Feb 10, 2022)

Well when they were looking to rebuild the image and public appeal of the royal family it was pretty obvious that they mostly skipped over him and concentrated on William as the next big thing, destined for a long period as ruler. The Harry stuff put a few dents in that but its still the same story now really, and in many respects the task probably seems easier for them if they got to skip over Charles. So his death wouldnt put a big spanner in the works.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Feb 10, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> That would be quite the narrative. Waited his entire life for a job and didn't even get it seventy years on.


I can hear Alanis Morisette singing that.


----------



## stavros (Feb 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Chancellor & Home Secretary were there.
> 
> View attachment 309532


I always thought Brian was taller than that photo makes him look. He looks about the same height as Sunak, who I know is tiny.


----------



## Sue (Feb 10, 2022)

stavros said:


> I always thought Brian was taller than that photo makes him look. He looks about the same height as Sunak, who I know is tiny.


There's surely some trickery going on. Otherwise the guy second from right is about two feet tall if he's lucky.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 11, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Chancellor & Home Secretary were there.
> 
> View attachment 309532


six of those figures are in fact waxworks


----------



## platinumsage (Feb 11, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> That would be quite the narrative. Waited his entire life for a job and didn't even get it seventy years on.



I'm not sure George is old enough to do the duking of Cornwall and princing of Wales by himself yet - perhaps a way back for Harry if he splits with Meghan? He could shoot all the wildlife and keep the yokel tenants in line until George is 18.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Imagine if he died before his Maw.


before in front of, and prior to her death


----------



## domestos (Feb 11, 2022)

Richboy Sunak always looks as if he's been put together out of various body parts, harvested from an operating theatre, stuck together into an ill-fitting, uncoordinated ensemble. The results are a child's physique with a sizeable adult bonce and Tony Blair synthesised voice-  a kind of diminutive latter day Frankensteins Monster.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Feb 12, 2022)

domestos said:


> Richboy Sunak always looks as if he's been put together out of various body parts, harvested from an operating theatre, stuck together into an ill-fitting, uncoordinated ensemble. The results are a child's physique with a sizeable adult bonce and Tony Blair synthesised voice-  a kind of diminutive latter day Frankensteins Monster.



Im getting action man. I wonder if he has that "eagle eyes" switch at the back of his head. And no obvious genitalia.


----------



## ska invita (Feb 17, 2022)

rigamortis is creeping in


----------



## A380 (Feb 17, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Imagine if he died before his Maw.


That’s her plan to save the monarchy isn’t it?


----------



## stavros (Feb 17, 2022)

ska invita said:


> rigamortis is creeping in
> 
> View attachment 310455


She doesn't really need to move for a page 3 shoot.


----------



## not a trot (Feb 20, 2022)

She's tested positive according to the BBC.

Not long now.


----------



## nastyned (Feb 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> She's tested positive according to the BBC.
> 
> Not long now.


If she carks it before the jubilee we'll be short changed on bank holidays.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> She's tested positive according to the BBC.
> 
> Not long now.




More like _continue with walk to the light duties..._


----------



## Fez909 (Feb 20, 2022)

From bat > pangolin > human > lizard

This virus is really something


----------



## ruffneck23 (Feb 20, 2022)

nastyned said:


> If she carks it before the jubilee we'll be short changed on bank holidays.


I was saying this just last week.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Feb 20, 2022)

Fez909 said:


> From bat > pangolin > human > lizard
> 
> This virus is really something


I'm stealing that ,thank you very much


----------



## brogdale (Feb 20, 2022)

Old sausage fingers' plan is working out fine, then?


----------



## ruffneck23 (Feb 20, 2022)




----------



## MickiQ (Feb 20, 2022)

Well there is a good chance that I will be a pensioner come June so loosing the bank Holidays may not be all that great a loss to me.
Will they actually get cancelled if she does cark it? 
What about BH's for her funeral and Chucky's coronation?
Surely they can't be planning to bury her on a Saturday?


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Feb 20, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Well there is a good chance that I will be a pensioner come June so loosing the bank Holidays may not be all that great a loss to me.
> Will they actually get cancelled if she does cark it?
> What about BH's for her funeral and Chucky's coronation?
> Surely they can't be planning to bury her on a Saturday?


They could even go for a Sunday. Don't forget that the reigning monarch is head of the C of E, direct line to God and all that.


----------



## steeplejack (Feb 20, 2022)

domestos said:


> Richboy Sunak always looks as if he's been put together out of various body parts, harvested from an operating theatre, stuck together into an ill-fitting, uncoordinated ensemble. The results are a child's physique with a sizeable adult bonce and Tony Blair synthesised voice-  a kind of diminutive latter day Frankensteins Monster.



He looks more like the jobbing actor that got beaten to the punch for the lead role in the _Manchurian Candidate,_ by Liev Schreiber.


----------



## friedaweed (Feb 20, 2022)

stavros said:


> She doesn't really need to move for a page 3 shoot.


I wonder what her page 3 name would be.

Lizzy Attpegs


----------



## Riklet (Feb 20, 2022)

She'll be on so many expensive retrovirals there'll be no chance of anything much happening to her.


----------



## tim (Feb 20, 2022)

Time to get her dewormed.


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2022)

if she karks it before Boris freedom day ballocks at the end of the month
that would be quite fun

"it all over pat me on the back and forget about parties"

"dead head of state from Covid"


----------



## N_igma (Feb 20, 2022)




----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2022)

Hit by Camilla

i'm not waiting to be Queen!!!


----------



## tim (Feb 20, 2022)

My fair Queen Consort


----------



## moochedit (Feb 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> She's tested positive according to the BBC.
> 
> Not long now.



Is she in good spirits?


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2022)

half a bottle of gin so far but its early


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 20, 2022)

Riklet said:


> She'll be on so many expensive retrovirals there'll be no chance of anything much happening to her.


yeh every single part of her has been changed since 1926 so it's not like she's elizabeth windsor at all


----------



## mx wcfc (Feb 20, 2022)

The Queen tests positive for Covid
					

She has mild symptoms and expects to continue "light duties" at Windsor, Buckingham Palace says.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




a small step in the right direction....


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 20, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> The Queen tests positive for Covid
> 
> 
> She has mild symptoms and expects to continue "light duties" at Windsor, Buckingham Palace says.
> ...


she's on light duties? wtf do they mean? she's not done a day's work certainly since 1945 and quite possibly 1926


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 20, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> The Queen tests positive for Covid
> 
> 
> She has mild symptoms and expects to continue "light duties" at Windsor, Buckingham Palace says.
> ...


yeh she should be on heavy duties constructing the long-planned canal from scapa flow to kirkwall


----------



## not a trot (Feb 20, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> *she's on light duties?* wtf do they mean? she's not done a day's work certainly since 1945 and quite possibly 1926



Woman of her age shouldn't be climbing ladders to change light bulbs. Or do they still use candles in Windsor ?


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Woman of her age shouldn't be climbing ladders to change light bulbs. Or do they still use candles in Windsor ?


they use servants.


----------



## platinumsage (Feb 20, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> they use servants.



I know Nero burnt Christians to light up his garden but I wouldn't have thought the royals would get away with that sort of thing these days.


----------



## tim (Feb 20, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> she's on light duties? wtf do they mean? she's not done a day's work certainly since 1945 and quite possibly 1926


Repetitive strain injury from all that waving and her ribbon cutting scissors have had more handles and blades than Trigger's broom had handles and heads. Moreover, I bet you'd need more than a gin and Dubonnet after a hard day's knighting.


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 20, 2022)

The banknote design department of the Bank of England will be quite twitchy.


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 20, 2022)




----------



## RainbowTown (Feb 20, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


>




His Lizard Twin......


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 20, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


>



witchell has not aged well because proximity to the royal family over any length of time has an effect on human flesh similar to that commonly found in the irradiated areas of nuclear power stations


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Feb 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> She's tested positive according to the BBC.
> 
> Not long now.


She'll be alright.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 20, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> She'll be alright.


----------



## not a trot (Feb 20, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> She'll be alright.



They said the same about Phil.


----------



## stavros (Feb 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> They said the same about Phil.


Not quite - they said he was alt-right.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 20, 2022)

What a particular shithouse of an organised religion the established church is.


----------



## Fairweather (Feb 20, 2022)




----------



## Raheem (Feb 20, 2022)

Fairweather said:


>



Ha! She's sending texts because she's too out-of-breath for a phone call.


----------



## platinumsage (Feb 20, 2022)

brogdale said:


> What a particular shithouse of an organised religion the established church is.
> 
> View attachment 311154



Yeah you’d expect any reasonable kind of organised religion to be gleefully heralding her demise. I bet the pope reads this thread for example.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 20, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Yeah you’d expect any reasonable kind of organised religion to be gleefully heralding her demise. I bet the pope reads this thread for example.


Yer reckon?


----------



## Sprocket. (Feb 20, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Yer reckon?


Only the posts in Latin.


----------



## N_igma (Feb 20, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> She'll be alright.


Wouldn’t be so sure about that I heard she’s already coughed up about 12 million…


----------



## brogdale (Feb 20, 2022)




----------



## Epona (Feb 21, 2022)

Well I've had a mild case of Covid (which I wouldn't have caught if OH hadn't been repeatedly exposed to anti-vaxx, anti-mask, anti-test morons at his workplace) and have been holed up in a shitty damp flat where we can't afford to put the heating on for 2 weeks and I still feel completely gak (not a real word but sums up how my state of health feels right now).

OH has had to go back to work (night shifts in a factory 2 hours travel from where we live, thankfully he has recovered better than me) the day his mandatory self-isolation ended and only got bare minimum sick pay for the 10 days he was off work rather than his full wages, which has been really shitty and we can't now pay our electricity bill and have had a disconnection notice.

I am sure her maj probably doesn't feel great with her mild case but at least she is not going to have those additional challenges that some of the rest of us have to deal with.

Also fuck Boris, fuck the Tories, fuck the Government, fuck capitalism.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 21, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> I bet the pope reads this thread for example.



What username is he?


----------



## platinumsage (Feb 21, 2022)

moochedit said:


> What username is he?



Looking at the lurkers, I could be wrong but I suspect vinegar strokes


----------



## weltweit (Feb 21, 2022)

That is shitty Epona and tough for your OH that he has to travel so far to work. Hope you manage to find the funds to pay the electric bill. And hope you get well soon.


----------



## MickiQ (Feb 21, 2022)

Epona said:


> Well I've had a mild case of Covid (which I wouldn't have caught if OH hadn't been repeatedly exposed to anti-vaxx, anti-mask, anti-test morons at his workplace) and have been holed up in a shitty damp flat where we can't afford to put the heating on for 2 weeks and I still feel completely gak (not a real word but sums up how my state of health feels right now).
> 
> OH has had to go back to work (night shifts in a factory 2 hours travel from where we live, thankfully he has recovered better than me) the day his mandatory self-isolation ended and only got bare minimum sick pay for the 10 days he was off work rather than his full wages, which has been really shitty and we can't now pay our electricity bill and have had a disconnection notice.
> 
> ...


Can they actually disconnect you? I thought these days they had to offer you a pre-payment meter, still shit of course but not quite as shit as sat there in the dark.


----------



## Epona (Feb 21, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Can they actually disconnect you? I thought these days they had to offer you a pre-payment meter, still shit of course but not quite as shit as sat there in the dark.



You're probably right.  I'm too frit to open the letter


----------



## bellaozzydog (Feb 21, 2022)

Epona said:


> You're probably right.  I'm too frit to open the letter


I always feel better once I’ve opened the bills and started fighting back


----------



## stavros (Feb 21, 2022)

So if she's got Covid are her staff having to keep their distance? Is she wiping herself whilst sat on the throne?


----------



## MickiQ (Feb 21, 2022)

Epona said:


> You're probably right.  I'm too frit to open the letter


Before you do  quote Moby Disk (and The Wrath of Khan) "From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, _I spit my last breath at thee_." then you open it.


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 22, 2022)

Her Maj has cancelled some Zoom calls today. Light duties not light enough.


----------



## magneze (Feb 22, 2022)

If she can't even turn off video and pretend to attend it must be serious!


----------



## pesh (Feb 22, 2022)

Just stick a stamp in front of the webcam.


----------



## MickiQ (Feb 22, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Her Maj has cancelled some Zoom calls today. Light duties not light enough.


She is probably as fed up with hearing Boris's denials of partying as everyone else is.


----------



## T & P (Feb 24, 2022)

Still unwell...









						Queen postpones more engagements after Covid test
					

The 95-year-old is continuing with "light duties", four days after her positive Covid test was announced.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Artaxerxes (Feb 24, 2022)

She’s 95, aside from winning at Rummy or scrabble she shouldn’t have any fucking duties.


----------



## ska invita (Feb 24, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> She’s 95, aside from winning at Rummy or scrabble she shouldn’t have any fucking duties.


well then she should retire instead of clinging on like a power-mad monarch


----------



## Artaxerxes (Feb 24, 2022)

ska invita said:


> well then she should retire instead of clinging on like a power-mad monarch



What and lose access to those raffle prizes?


----------



## brogdale (Feb 24, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> She’s 95, aside from winning at Rummy or scrabble she shouldn’t have any fucking duties.


She doesn't; we pay for tens of folk to tell her she has.


----------



## not a trot (Feb 24, 2022)

Thrown a sickie twice in a week. Coffin makers on standby.


----------



## Elpenor (Feb 24, 2022)

Surely it’s time for a sickness absence review meeting to be triggered by HRH-HR as per the attendance policy.


----------



## Riklet (Feb 24, 2022)

No news is good news.


----------



## Badgers (Feb 24, 2022)

If her long overdue death happens the same time as David Attenborough I will go postal.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Feb 24, 2022)

Her dying right now, in the middle of the Ukraine   crisis, would be pretty spectacular.


----------



## tim (Feb 24, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Her dying right now, in the middle of the Ukraine   crisis, would be pretty spectacular.


I find it difficult to imagine Brenda having a spectacular death under any circumstances.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 24, 2022)

tim said:


> I find it difficult to imagine Brenda having a spectacular death under any circumstances.


You can hope. An alien exploding from her stomach as she reads the queen's speech, for example


----------



## Sprocket. (Feb 24, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Her dying right now, in the middle of the Ukraine   crisis, would be pretty spectacular.


She will do anything to avoid driving a lorry again, as she did in WW2.


----------



## stavros (Feb 24, 2022)

Badgers said:


> If her long overdue death happens the same time as David Attenborough I will go postal.


Royal Mail?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Feb 24, 2022)

Sprocket. said:


> She will do anything to avoid driving a lorry again, as she did in WW2.



The Azov battalion can teach her how to use a rifle?


----------



## steveseagull (Feb 24, 2022)

Do you think if she carks it over the next day or two it will shut up all the war hungry centrist dads for a bit?


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 24, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Do you think if she carks it over the next day or two it will shut up all the war hungry centrist dads for a bit?


The front pages will need fold out flaps for all the merged Royal/military imagery they'll photoshop together.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 24, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> The Azov battalion can teach her how to use a rifle?


Oh...hands up who thinks that's a little harsh...


----------



## Badgers (Feb 25, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Do you think if she carks it over the next day or two it will shut up all the war hungry centrist dads for a bit?


No


----------



## Smangus (Feb 25, 2022)

She can't kark it before the Jubilee bank holiday ffs    

After by all means , then we get more days off for the funeral. Your Majesty, do your duty for your people!


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Feb 25, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Surely it’s time for a sickness absence review meeting to be triggered by HRH-HR as per the attendance policy.


Her benefits should be stopped.


----------



## Badgers (Feb 25, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Her benefits should be stopped.


Plus her land restored to the people. 
Her beshitted 'monarchy' returned to the middle ages. 
Her pedo son jailed.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 25, 2022)

Badgers said:


> Plus her land restored to the people.
> Her beshitted 'monarchy' returned to the middle ages.
> Her pedo son jailed.


Has the makings of a very good start to a manifesto for the Badgers party😂


----------



## Smangus (Feb 25, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Has the makings of a very good start to a manifesto for the Badgers party😂



Vote Badg!!


----------



## bluescreen (Feb 25, 2022)

His Badg!
FTW!


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 25, 2022)

Badgers said:


> Plus her land restored to the people.
> Her beshitted 'monarchy' returned to the middle ages.
> Her pedo son jailed.


sensible policies for a happier britain


----------



## Smangus (Feb 25, 2022)

Vote for His Badgesty


----------



## Badgers (Feb 25, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Has the makings of a very good start to a manifesto for the Badgers party😂


😎


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 25, 2022)

vote Badgers 

i expect sound policies on FEBs and otter rights to be announced soon


----------



## ska invita (Feb 28, 2022)

dont forget!








						Royal family 'hugely worried' for Queen as she battles Covid-19
					

The royal family is deeply worried after the Queen got Covid-19. The 95-year-old tested positive for Covid-19 last week and since then, she has postponed her virtual engagements as she fights...




					www.thenews.com.pk


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 28, 2022)




----------



## Elpenor (Mar 1, 2022)

She’s back! Virtual audiences restored much to the delight of all ambassadors I’m sure. Crack out the Ferrero Roche!









						Queen recovers to carry out virtual engagements
					

After cancelling events because of Covid, the Queen is taking part in virtual engagements again.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




I’ve also realised what the virtual audiences remind me of:


----------



## nastyned (Mar 1, 2022)

The jubilee bank holiday is saved! Gawd bless 'er!


----------



## Dogsauce (Mar 1, 2022)

Could just be the famous Covid ‘dead cat bounce’. Not out of the woods yet.


----------



## mx wcfc (Mar 2, 2022)

Private Eye has inside info


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 2, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> Private Eye has inside infoView attachment 312572


I don't think anyone could endure the commonwealth day service


----------



## stavros (Mar 2, 2022)

If she can synchronise it with WW3 it might spare us from the uncontrollable gushing from the media.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 2, 2022)

stavros said:


> If she can synchronise it with WW3 it might spare us from the uncontrollable gushing from the media.


Perhaps - assuming we're in full ww3 - a missile might solve our Windsor problem. Come friendly bombs and that


----------



## stavros (Mar 2, 2022)

On second thoughts I think Putin is being very selfish, choosing the Jubilee year to do his thing.


----------



## bluescreen (Mar 2, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Perhaps - assuming we're in full ww3 - a missile might solve our Windsor problem. Come friendly bombs and that


Well, Windsor isn't so far from Slough.


----------



## platinumsage (Mar 2, 2022)

She might go soon to distract from the forthcoming questions about Prince Michael of Kent’s extensive Russian connections.


----------



## PR1Berske (Mar 2, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> She might go soon to distract from the forthcoming questions about Prince Michael of Kent’s extensive Russian connections.


This is the thing, both genetically and diplomatically, the Windsors are tied up so much they'll be the next big reveal of things carry on.


----------



## lizzieloo (Mar 2, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Has the makings of a very good start to a manifesto for the Badgers party😂


I'm in, can I be in charge of the logo? 😎


----------



## stavros (Mar 3, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Well, Windsor isn't so far from Slough.


True, it has a Slough postcode.


----------



## platinumsage (Mar 6, 2022)

She has left her home for the last time, I guess the funeral will be next week:









						Queen leaves Buckingham Palace for good
					

THE QUEEN has decided to leave Buckingham Palace for good, according to reports.




					www.express.co.uk


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 6, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> She has left her home for the last time, I guess the funeral will be next week:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


She has always hated Buckingham palace and spent as little time there as possible. It's a stretch to say it's her home when she hadn't been a night there in two years


----------



## elbows (Mar 6, 2022)

Plus its being renovated for years to come and she wanted an excuse not to have to meet Johnson in person every week.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 6, 2022)

elbows said:


> Plus its being renovated for years to come and she wanted an excuse not to have to meet Johnson in person every week.


If she reclaimed her prerogatives she could have him executed tomorrow, it's in magna carts


----------



## elbows (Mar 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> If she reclaimed her prerogatives she could have him executed tomorrow, it's in magna carts



To reduce the risk of a constitutional crisis they are exploring other ways to achieve the same sort of result, such as having the renovations involve wallpaper made from Johnsons skin.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 6, 2022)

elbows said:


> To reduce the risk of a constitutional crisis they are exploring other ways to achieve the same sort of result, such as having the renovations involve wallpaper made from Johnsons skin.


The flesh already earmarked for penguins


----------



## elbows (Mar 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> The flesh already earmarked for penguins



Charles is personally overseeing the construction of the new feeding room and observation platform. The budget of which is still less than that of the downing street briefing room. Negotiations to have Allegra Stratton provide pre-recorded commentary are ongoing.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Mar 6, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> She has left her home for the last time, I guess the funeral will be next week:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




She donating it for social housing then? Fancy releasing some equity?

Or is it going to sit empty and continue adding to the housing crisis not to mention the energy costs and carbon of maintaining the place


----------



## platinumsage (Mar 6, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> She donating it for social housing then? Fancy releasing some equity?
> 
> Or is it going to sit empty and continue adding to the housing crisis not to mention the energy costs and carbon of maintaining the place



It'll be her eldest son's pied-à-terre, after the handyman has given it a lick of magnolia.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 6, 2022)

its all PR  lies, shes actually behind the barricades in kherson plotting a long term guerilla campaign . god bless you HRH. doing something useful at last


----------



## moochedit (Mar 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Perhaps - assuming we're in full ww3 - a missile might solve our Windsor problem. Come friendly bombs and that


Unfortunately unlike the rest of us, she probably has a bomb shelter under her house


----------



## extra dry (Mar 7, 2022)

Easier to have parties and such, as one does.


----------



## MickiQ (Mar 7, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Unfortunately unlike the rest of us, she probably has a bomb shelter under her house


I would imagine that in the likelihood of nuclear war there is a plan to stash key Royals somewhere safe, I would imagine the sweaty one has lost his place in the bunker though.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 7, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> I would imagine that in the likelihood of nuclear war there is a plan to stash key Royals somewhere safe, I would imagine the sweaty one has lost his place in the bunker though.


in the event of nuclear war they would have 4 minutes to stash them so it's probably going to be shove them under some tables while the staff, being more agile and indeed younger, will make their way at haste to the bunker and then blame each other for not bringing the queen


----------



## platinumsage (Mar 7, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> in the event of nuclear war they would have 4 minutes to stash them so it's probably going to be shove them under some tables while the staff, being more agile and indeed younger, will make their way at haste to the bunker and then blame each other for not bringing the queen



This is in the plan - they don't want the Queen to be seized by invading Russian soldiers and married to Putin to cement the takeover.


----------



## Dogsauce (Mar 7, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Unfortunately unlike the rest of us, she probably has a bomb shelter under her house


Speak for yourself…


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 7, 2022)

can't believe the fucking queen didn't have the decency to die before yesterday


----------



## Artaxerxes (Mar 11, 2022)

Queen pulls out of attending Commonwealth Service
					

The Queen will not attend next week's service at Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace says.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 11, 2022)

Still hope yet


----------



## PR1Berske (Mar 11, 2022)

Charles III/George VIi must surely by now have typed out a speech with the title "FINAL_Vers_22.docx"


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 11, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> Still hope yet


Thoughts and prayers for such


----------



## RD2003 (Mar 11, 2022)

I moved house last August. New street's WhatsApp group is talking about a jubilee party, or at least 4-5 people are. The enthusiasm seems minimal. I think they might end up celebrating a coronation instead.


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 11, 2022)

oddly my road appears to have no interest


but as i repeatly report last time it was a queen jubilee party, the local mosque invited people to one by knocking on doors and the mother went 
hope they do it again


----------



## Cerv (Mar 11, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> Private Eye has inside infoView attachment 312572



proving to be accurate. commonwealth day attendance cancelled. 
guess they'll pull out all the stops to make the Phillip thing something she's able to attend.


----------



## Epona (Mar 11, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> She has left her home for the last time, I guess the funeral will be next week:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



FFS I clicked on a link to the express by mistake - should have come with a warning mate.


----------



## RD2003 (Mar 11, 2022)

These Covid-inspired WhatsApp groups can be interesting. A few months ago we had two young women knocking on doors on a cold Saturday morning, saying they were representing OpenWorld and wanting to know your broadband speed. The one I spoke to was obviously Spanish, and, in fact, she confirmed this when I asked her where she came from in Spain. The other was black.

Within seconds, WhatsApp posts had appeared urging caution. It's a scam-one of them is possibly Romanian... nobody directly singled out the black woman but... Lots of joining in (neither girl was above about 5'4" and no threat to anybody but the old and chronically ill, none of whom were joining in.) Then came the indignant replies from the anti-racists.

A battle between the 'woke' and the party of reaction right on my doorstep. Who would have guessed? Dismayingly, as far as I can gather from my curtain-twitching observations, it largely seemed like a conflct between the university educated incomers and the proper locals.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 11, 2022)

RD2003 said:


> These Covid-inspired WhatsApp groups can be interesting. A few months ago we had two young women knocking on doors on a cold Saturday morning, saying they were representing OpenWorld and wanting to know your broadband speed. The one I spoke to was obviously Spanish, and, in fact, she confirmed this when I asked her where she came from in Spain. The other was black.
> 
> Within seconds, WhatsApp posts had appeared urging caution. It's a scam-one of them is obviously Romanian... nobodty directly singled out the black woman but.... Lots of joining in (neither girl was above about 5'4" and no threat to anybody but the old and chronically ill.) Then came the indignant replies from the anti-racists.
> 
> A battle between the 'woke' and the party of progress right on my doorstep. Who would have guessed? Dismayingly, as far as I can gather from my curtain-twitching observations, it largely seemed like a conflct between the university educated incomers and the proper locals.


What's the relevance of one girl being black and the other Spanish?


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 11, 2022)

RD2003 said:


> A battle between the 'woke' and the party of reaction right on my doorstep. Who would have guessed? Dismayingly, as far as I can gather from my curtain-twitching observations, it largely seemed like a conflct between the university educated incomers and the proper locals.



owning the libs


----------



## RD2003 (Mar 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> What's the relevance of one girl being black and the other Spanish?


They wanted to go in hard on the European girl ('possibly Romanian'), but didn't seem to want to expose themselves by focussing on colour.


----------



## RD2003 (Mar 11, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> owning the libs


No. An observation, that's all. As I said, dismaying.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 11, 2022)

RD2003 said:


> They wanted to go in hard on the European girl ('possibly Romanian'), but didn't seem to want to expose themselves by focussing on colour.


I'd hope they didn't want to expose themselves at all


----------



## RD2003 (Mar 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> I'd hope they didn't want to expose themselves at all


Me too-you should see the state of some of the fuckers.


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 12, 2022)

wrong thread


----------



## Elpenor (Mar 13, 2022)

Not able to walk her dogs now. 









						Queen, 95, has become 'so frail she's unable to walk her beloved dogs'
					

The Queen - who has owned more than 30 corgis in her life - has not taken her dogs for a walk at Windsor Castle since last October when she was admitted to hospital




					www.mirror.co.uk
				




If the dogs couldn’t walk, we might guess what would happen to them…


----------



## A380 (Mar 13, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> I would imagine that in the likelihood of nuclear war there is a plan to stash key Royals somewhere safe, I would imagine the sweaty one has lost his place in the bunker though.


There others would get on the Royal Flight  Augustas and get whisked away to Faslane and then on an attack boat to Canada or whatever.  There would be a special Puma for HRH Noncey that would drop him off at the Woking Pizza Express.


----------



## two sheds (Mar 13, 2022)

Well this seems to confirm it


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 13, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Well this seems to confirm it
> 
> View attachment 314284


Depends how big the order is


----------



## two sheds (Mar 13, 2022)

Might be just the close family though


----------



## PR1Berske (Mar 13, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Well this seems to confirm it
> 
> View attachment 314284


I like this idea that all protocol has been ignored and that the Government instead wants the sort of defaced flag you see outside an estate pub during the Euros.


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 13, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Well this seems to confirm it
> 
> View attachment 314284



wait for the mail and the express to blame meg for it


----------



## platinumsage (Mar 14, 2022)

I bet the Queen ordered the flag to celebrate the end of the period during which she had to appear in public, now that she can happily spend the rest of her days in a onesie watching the horses on the tellybox.


----------



## Epona (Mar 14, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Well this seems to confirm it
> 
> View attachment 314284



That could be anything, I could place an order for any sort of nonsense, it's hardly proof


----------



## brogdale (Mar 14, 2022)

Alright, rumbled...but is anyone interested in taking a few of the Brenda fizzhog bedecked butchersaprons off my hands?


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Alright, rumbled...but is anyone interested in taking a few of the Brenda fizzhog bedecked butchersaprons off my hands?


Butchers aprons. Butchersapron is different


----------



## brogdale (Mar 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Butchers aprons. Butchersapron is different


😂
Of course.
The risks of pre-caffeine posting revealed all too clearly again!


----------



## two sheds (Mar 14, 2022)

Epona said:


> That could be anything, I could place an order for any sort of nonsense, it's hardly proof


You cynic it's proof positive I tell you


----------



## MickiQ (Mar 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Depends how big the order is


It's you isn't it?


----------



## Elpenor (Mar 14, 2022)

Edward Windsor and Harry Wales both have form for exploiting their family for monetary gain.


----------



## Bingoman (Mar 14, 2022)

What happens if the queen cant attend trooping the colour or do the State  opening of parliament, would Charles have to step in?


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> What happens if the queen cant attend trooping the colour or do the State  opening of parliament, would Charles have to step in?


yes, they routinely set out a suit of the queen's old clothes, which fit charles, in case of such an eventuality


----------



## agricola (Mar 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> What happens if the queen cant attend trooping the colour or do the State  opening of parliament, would Charles have to step in?



All are cancelled and the Regiment of Guards get a day off; they plan to attend Legoland.


----------



## T & P (Mar 14, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> If the dogs couldn’t walk, we might guess what would happen to them…


----------



## platinumsage (Mar 14, 2022)

I heard they'll do a mini trooping the colour in her rooms in Windsor Castle.


----------



## moochedit (Mar 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> What happens if the queen cant attend trooping the colour or do the State  opening of parliament



Total chaos as the goverment can't function without a head of state. The working class see their chance to rise up and the revolution starts*  

* probably


----------



## Bingoman (Mar 14, 2022)

agricola said:


> All are cancelled and the Regiment of Guards get a day off; they plan to attend Legoland.


I hear Peppa pig works is quite nice this time of year


----------



## Elpenor (Mar 14, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> I heard they'll do a mini trooping the colour in her rooms in Windsor Castle.



And Nicholas Witchell will not be invited


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 14, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> And Nicholas Witchell will not be invited


Oh he will be, the lizards like a human sacrifice but they're prepared to make do with nw


----------



## Elpenor (Mar 14, 2022)

Perhaps they could rename it to:

“Trepanning of the correspondent”


----------



## mx wcfc (Mar 14, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Well this seems to confirm it
> 
> View attachment 314284


I have no doubt at all that some "entrepreneurial" chancers are trying to get ahead of the game with the death of Liz junk to sell.

It would be fun if they were named and exposed though.


----------



## Dogsauce (Mar 15, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> I have no doubt at all that some "entrepreneurial" chancers are trying to get ahead of the game with the death of Liz junk to sell.
> 
> It would be fun if they were named and exposed though.



Not very entrepreneurial because everyone else dies in the 2022 nuclear holocaust too. They haven’t thought this through.


----------



## stavros (Mar 15, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> the death of Liz


"The end o' Brenda" has more of a commercial edge to it.


----------



## danny la rouge (Mar 15, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> I heard they'll do a mini trooping the colour in her rooms in Windsor Castle.


I heard they’ll be calling it the trooping of the a bit pale and peaky.


----------



## steveseagull (Mar 23, 2022)

This is all a bit North Korea. What is wrong with a mobility scooter?









						The Queen shouldn't be scared of being seen in a wheelchair
					

Imagine being the head of state in 15 countries but being unable to admit you need help to move.




					metro.co.uk


----------



## Serene (Mar 23, 2022)

The Republicans in Jamaica are still expecting victory in their anti-monarch agenda despite the Queen sending a thin white woman in pretty colourful dresses. She is a living argument for monarchy. All the Queens children are Angels from heaven.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Mar 23, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> This is all a bit North Korea. What is wrong with a mobility scooter?


She should have one done up like the coronation carriage.


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 23, 2022)

surely they have enough money to fit her out with a power exoskeleton

if she want to turn up to her husband memorial as a master chief who's going to spot her


----------



## A380 (Mar 23, 2022)

I reckon Charlie ordered those flags. It must be hard knowing that your mum’s sole remaining career goal is to outlive you.


----------



## Serene (Mar 23, 2022)

The Jamaicans know that the Queen loves her dancehall riddims.


----------



## Elpenor (Mar 23, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> This is all a bit North Korea. What is wrong with a mobility scooter?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



She’s not dead. She just can’t move


----------



## stavros (Mar 23, 2022)

Serene said:


> The Republicans in Jamaica are still expecting victory in their anti-monarch agenda despite the Queen sending a thin white woman in pretty colourful dresses. She is a living argument for monarchy. All the Queens children are Angels from heaven.


She rose to the throne when King Tubby died in 1989.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> She’s not dead. She just can’t move


Like king huon out of the Michael Moorcock books


----------



## PR1Berske (Mar 23, 2022)

Jamaica 's PM waiting for William and Kate to walk into his office before saying (essentially) "Thanks for coming, but it's not changed a thing, we're leaving" was quite the move.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Jamaica 's PM waiting for William and Kate to walk into his office before saying (essentially) "Thanks for coming, but it's not changed a thing, we're leaving" was quite the move.


He should have had them and their entourage carry him round, we might reconsider leaving if you carry every Jamaican on a palanquin or whatnot and so on


----------



## PR1Berske (Mar 23, 2022)

Jamaica’s PM tells Kate and William his country is ‘moving on’
					

Royal couple’s visit met with growing republican sentiment and pressure for reparations over slavery




					www.google.com


----------



## PR1Berske (Mar 23, 2022)




----------



## MickiQ (Mar 24, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


>



That picture really doesn't work if you're going with the common touch theme


----------



## elbows (Mar 24, 2022)

BBC spin on the latest stuff said there.



> "Sorrow" is not "sorry". Some will be disappointed about that. But "sorry" would have been a different order of magnitude, carrying with it acceptance of responsibility and opening up the question of financial compensation.
> 
> Hardly surprising then that Prince William didn't go that far. That would be a job for government, not royalty.











						Prince William expresses 'profound sorrow' over slavery in Jamaica speech
					

The Duke of Cambridge condemns the slave trade, saying it "forever stains" the UK's history.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Elpenor (Mar 24, 2022)

It’s all a bit “I’m sorrow you feel that way” isn’t it?


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 24, 2022)

elbows said:


> BBC spin on the latest stuff said there.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


But it is her majesty's government

Literally everything they do is in her name.


----------



## stavros (Mar 30, 2022)

More nauseating platitudes yesterday, as the press scrambled to break the stunning news that woman was a bit miffed that her husband was still dead.

Still, at least she had the emotional support of her family.


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 30, 2022)

odd the press has been commenting on Andrew being there and Harry not being

whilst partygate Boris was also stinking up the place


----------



## brogdale (Apr 10, 2022)

Any recipe suggestions?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Apr 10, 2022)

Might book a trip to France tbh.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 10, 2022)

stavros said:


> More nauseating platitudes yesterday, as the press scrambled to break the stunning news that woman was a bit miffed that her husband was still dead.
> 
> Still, at least she had the emotional support of her family.
> 
> View attachment 316453


There once was a man named œdipus rex...


----------



## not a trot (Apr 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Any recipe suggestions?




Will be in I_nverness for the entire weekend, so hoping Scotland will ignore the whole thing._


----------



## DownwardDog (Apr 10, 2022)

This thread is a torment. Every time it gets bumped...


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Apr 10, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Might book a trip to France tbh.


Already have.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Apr 10, 2022)

Kevbad the Bad said:


> Already have.



I went to Lille for Wills wedding, it was lovely


----------



## ska invita (Apr 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Any recipe suggestions?


----------



## stavros (Apr 10, 2022)

Please hang on until at least 3 May, because we've got some serious snooker to watch before then, which we don't want disrupting.


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 10, 2022)

stavros said:


> Please hang on until at least 3 May, because we've got some serious snooker to watch before then, which we don't want disrupting.


4 June, I'm looking forward to that extra bank holiday


----------



## stavros (Apr 10, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> 4 June, I'm looking forward to that extra bank holiday


If she does snuff it before then do we revert to the normal bank holidays?


----------



## Serene (Apr 10, 2022)

Other than avoiding zoom calls from Harry and watching racing, she wont be doing anything. All you long serving Lollypop ladies can forget about her being arsed handing out your OBEs too.


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 10, 2022)

stavros said:


> If she does snuff it before then do we revert to the normal bank holidays?


No-one seems to know they don't seem to have made allowances for the fact that the woman is 96 and could literally peg it at any moment.


----------



## A380 (Apr 10, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> I went to Lille for Wills wedding, it was lovely


I was in Lille for Wills wedding too!


----------



## A380 (Apr 10, 2022)

stavros said:


> If she does snuff it before then do we revert to the normal bank holidays?


If so then God save the Queen...


----------



## PR1Berske (Apr 10, 2022)

A380 said:


> If so the God save the Queen...


Get learning how to stretch "King" to one and a half syllables is my tip.


----------



## stavros (Apr 11, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Get learning how to stretch "King" to one and a half syllables is my tip.


Johnny Rotten managed to give "man" about five syllables in his paean to Her Majesty.


----------



## 1%er (Apr 11, 2022)

Whooooops!!!

This is a headline from about 30 minutes ago

Edit to add a link from UK newspaper Dead wrong: Brazilian newspaper ridiculed after saying Queen has died


----------



## Yossarian (Apr 11, 2022)

_The Folha de São Paulo incorrectly reported the British monarch’s demise on its website at about noon on Monday, telling millions of South American readers she had died “as a result of XXXXXXXX”._


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 11, 2022)

at organisation I was working at before xmas (a large transport undertaking) there were one or two people working on plans for the jubilee bank holiday weekend, and one or two other people working on plans for 'operation london bridge'

i have a feeling that anything involving making plans for the aftermath of HMtQ's demise are technically a criminal offence under some ancient treason act...


----------



## GarveyLives (Apr 11, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i have a feeling that anything involving making plans for the aftermath of HMtQ's demise are technically a criminal offence under some ancient treason act...



For your information:

17 March _2017_:  'London Bridge is down': the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death


----------



## stavros (Apr 13, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> _The Folha de São Paulo incorrectly reported the British monarch’s demise on its website at about noon on Monday, telling millions of South American readers she had died “as a result of XXXXXXXX”._
> 
> View attachment 318154


Or died as a result of XXXX.


----------



## Elpenor (Apr 13, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> _The Folha de São Paulo incorrectly reported the British monarch’s demise on its website at about noon on Monday, telling millions of South American readers she had died “as a result of XXXXXXXX”._
> 
> View attachment 318154



Perhaps she was forced to watch all those Vin Diesel films and couldn’t take it anymore


----------



## T & P (Apr 14, 2022)

She can't even make it to church anymore...









						Queen not expected to attend Easter Sunday service
					

Buckingham Palace indicates the Queen will miss the service at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## elbows (Apr 14, 2022)

I meant to stick this in here a few days ago:



> During her video call to the hospital, the Queen said: "It [Covid] does leave one very tired and exhausted, doesn't it?"











						Queen reveals Covid left her 'very tired and exhausted'
					

The monarch speaks about her experience with the virus during a virtual hospital visit.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Calamity1971 (Apr 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> She can't even make it to church anymore...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Prince sausage fingers will be getting excited.


----------



## PR1Berske (Apr 14, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Prince sausage fingers will be getting excited.


But a rush of blood anywhere other than this head might cause his skin to finally rupture


----------



## Serene (Apr 16, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Prince sausage fingers will be getting excited.


I thought that said " executed " then. Sorry, I need my glasses, carry on.


----------



## Smangus (Apr 17, 2022)

Thinking about this, to maximise extra holiday time we need her to live past the jubilee for the extra day. Then when she karks it we get a day or 2 for mourning etc. Then when big ears gets coronation day we qet another day for royal fuck wittery (hopefully) . 

The future looks bright!


----------



## brogdale (Apr 17, 2022)

Smangus said:


> Thinking about this, to maximise extra holiday time we need her to live past the jubilee for the extra day. Then when she karks it we get a day or 2 for mourning etc. Then when big ears gets coronation day we qet another day for royal fuck wittery (hopefully) .
> 
> The future looks bright!


Alternatively we could have a 3 day beano in perpetuity based on the day of the glorious erection of the guillotine, day two the most wonderful day of regicide itself followed by the wondrous day of heads on spikes.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 17, 2022)

So Brenda, head of the Church of England can't even make to church for the holiest day in the Xian calendar, when the church is actually inside her own house, the June bank holiday's hanging by a thread.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Apr 17, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> So Brenda, head of the Church of England can't even make to church for the holiest day in the Xian calendar, when the church is actually inside her own house, the June bank holiday's hanging by a thread.



If she can hold out till September I'm hoping we get another one


----------



## platinumsage (Apr 17, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> So Brenda, head of the Church of England can't even make to church for the holiest day in the Xian calendar, when the church is actually inside her own house, the June bank holiday's hanging by a thread.



She can’t make it to the church in her castle, but she has another church inside the bit of the castle she’s living in, with her own chaplain etc, so she’ll probably go there instead.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 17, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> She can’t make it to the church in her castle, but she has another church inside the bit of the castle she’s living in, with her own chaplain etc, so she’ll probably go there instead.




How many churches does she want the greedy so and so?


----------



## bluescreen (Apr 17, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> How many churches does she want the greedy so and so?


She has a fair number of royal peculiars




__





						Royal peculiar - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## PR1Berske (Apr 17, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> She has a fair number of royal peculiars
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Andrew is the most peculiar of all of course.


----------



## Edie (Apr 17, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> So Brenda, head of the Church of England can't even make to church for the holiest day in the Xian calendar, when the church is actually inside her own house, the June bank holiday's hanging by a thread.


They can’t just cancel tho right, I mean people will have made holiday plans.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 17, 2022)

Edie said:


> They can’t just cancel tho right, I mean people will have made holiday plans.


They can cancel. And risk the people's wrath


----------



## Edie (Apr 17, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> They can cancel. And risk the people's wrath


Has there been any official guidance on this, or is no one allowed to mention she might pop her clogs?


----------



## Cid (Apr 17, 2022)

I imagine they'd just go ahead with a 'celebration of her life' or some bollocks. She hit the actual jubilee date back in february.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 17, 2022)

Edie said:


> Has there been any official guidance on this, or is no one allowed to mention she might pop her clogs?


the official guidance is to keep the bh come what may as the anger a cancellation may unleash might precipitate the fall of the whole sordid institution


----------



## platinumsage (Apr 17, 2022)

No


----------



## Cerv (Apr 17, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> They can cancel. And risk the people's wrath


I expect the gov would be more concerned by the inconvenience to business of cancelling. 
e.g. payment dates having to shift


----------



## Epona (Apr 17, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> the official guidance is to keep the bh come what may as the anger a cancellation may unleash might precipitate the fall of the whole sordid institution



That sounds like a good reason to cancel then 

_Checks condition of torch and polishes pitchfork_


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 17, 2022)

Cerv said:


> I expect the gov would be more concerned by the inconvenience to business of cancelling.
> e.g. payment dates having to shift


And under any other circumstances I'd agree with you


----------



## brogdale (Apr 20, 2022)

Seeing all those Prince Henry headlines about checking that his grandmother “has the right people around her”...I can’t be the only one thinking embalmers?


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 20, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Seeing all those Prince Henry headlines about checking that his grandmother “has the right people around her”...I can’t be the only one thinking embalmers?


You should be thinking virgins. Think Dracula and not Lenin


----------



## stavros (Apr 20, 2022)

Since Brenda nominally asks the leader of a party to form a government, can she also tell him to fuck the fuck off? If so it's time she grew a pair.


----------



## Serene (Apr 21, 2022)

While she is out on her Bday getting píssed and eating a Swan, can we turn the Palace into an Airbnb? There is likely a lot of square yard for units in there. Whats the projected turnover for that?


----------



## Chilli.s (Apr 21, 2022)

Serene said:


> While she is out on her Bday getting píssed and eating a Swan, can we turn the Palace into an Airbnb? There is likely a lot of square yard for units in there. Whats the projected turnover for that?


She has apparently moved out of Buck. palace permanently to live at windsor, the one we paid for repair due to lack of insurance after the fire. A right royal piss take.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 21, 2022)

Chilli.s said:


> She has apparently moved out of Buck. palace permanently to live at windsor, the one we paid for repair due to lack of insurance after the fire. A right royal piss take.




A fire caused when her horrible anus let rip next to a lit candle.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 21, 2022)

Chilli.s said:


> She has apparently moved out of Buck. palace permanently to live at windsor, the one we paid for repair due to lack of insurance after the fire. A right royal piss take.


she never liked buckingham palace and has spent as little time there as possible


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 21, 2022)

i can't find the thread for the loyal members of urban to add their birthday wishes...


----------



## bluescreen (Apr 21, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i can't find the thread for the loyal members of urban to add their birthday wishes...


There is the famous "I'm no royalist but" thread...


----------



## moochedit (Apr 21, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i can't find the thread for the loyal members of urban to add their birthday wishes...


You can be one to start it


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 21, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i can't find the thread for the loyal members of urban to add their birthday wishes...


Son Q turns 32 on April 26 and the son of Mrs Q's Bro turned 19 yesterday so I usually remember that Brenda's birthday is around the same time of year but until I saw your post I had actually forgotten that it was her birthday today.
Happy Birthday Ma'am you only need to hang on till the month after next.


----------



## stavros (Apr 21, 2022)

Serene said:


> While she is out on her Bday getting píssed and eating a Swan, can we turn the Palace into an Airbnb? There is likely a lot of square yard for units in there. Whats the projected turnover for that?


I remember there were suggestions, not from the establishment I hasten to add, that she could've given up some rooms to Grenfell survivors immediately after the fire. The tower was less than three miles from the palace.

She didn't.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 21, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> until I saw your post I had actually forgotten that it was her birthday today.



i must admit it's not on my calendar.  just happened to hear them mention it on the radio...


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 21, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i must admit it's not on my calendar.  just happened to hear them mention it on the radio...


And then they ruined the day by playing that awful dirge


----------



## Elpenor (Apr 21, 2022)

Hopefully she can join her husband soon.

Never really mentioned how they met when she was 13, and he was 18, and it was love at first sight. Nonceing passes down the male line perhaps?


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 21, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Hopefully she can join her husband soon.
> 
> Never really mentioned how they met when she was 13, and he was 18, and it was love at first sight. Nonceing passes down the male line perhaps?


It's been mentioned quite a few times on urban I think you'll find


----------



## Elpenor (Apr 21, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> It's been mentioned quite a few times on urban I think you'll find


Oh well I will have missed it then


----------



## Magnus McGinty (Apr 21, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Hopefully she can join her husband soon.
> 
> Never really mentioned how they met when she was 13, and he was 18, and it was love at first sight. Nonceing passes down the male line perhaps?



Not sure there’s evidence they were shagging at that point and whilst it’s odd for a 13 year old and 18 year old to correspond, certainly not illegal or worrying by Royal standards.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Apr 22, 2022)

She'll be getting a 70ft tree made of trees for her birthday.


----------



## T & P (Apr 22, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> She'll be getting a 70ft tree made of trees for her birthday.
> 
> View attachment 319570


----------



## Artaxerxes (Apr 22, 2022)

Prince Charles late stage rebranding as guardian of nature and man ahead of his time makes me physically sick btw. Going to be insufferable hearing this when he's finally got the crown on.


----------



## stavros (Apr 22, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Never really mentioned how they met when she was 13, and he was 18, and it was love at first sight.


They were introduced to one another by their grandfather.


----------



## platinumsage (Apr 22, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Prince Charles late stage rebranding as guardian of nature and man ahead of his time makes me physically sick btw. Going to be insufferable hearing this when* he's finally got the crown on.


*if


----------



## muscovyduck (Apr 22, 2022)

IS SHE FUCKING DEAD YET


----------



## magneze (Apr 22, 2022)

She's been animatronic since Feb 30th.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 22, 2022)

magneze said:


> She's been animatronic since Feb 30th.


Since the Soviet Feb 30 of 1931?


----------



## magneze (Apr 22, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Since the Soviet Feb 30 of 1931?


_taps nose_


----------



## mx wcfc (Apr 23, 2022)

At Reading FC's ground.  They've missed an apostrophe.


----------



## mx wcfc (Apr 23, 2022)

Also spotted on Twatter..... a slightly confusing message.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Apr 23, 2022)

We are into deep fake territory now


----------



## Dystopiary (Apr 23, 2022)

stavros said:


> They were introduced to one another by their grandfather.


Lmfao, "their grandfather" - if there ever was a royal tradition aside from shitting on poor people, it's a bit of consanguine bangin'.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Apr 23, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Prince Charles late stage rebranding as guardian of nature and man ahead of his time makes me physically sick btw. Going to be insufferable hearing this when he's finally got the crown on.


Don't worry too much. The Queen could easily outlive old sausage fingers. Plus he's bound to have a stroke at some point, nnnn, gggg, nnnnn.


----------



## mx wcfc (Apr 23, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> At Reading FC's ground.  They've missed an apostrophe.
> 
> n


In the interests of historical accuracy, I should add that I was wrong.

Turns out this sign was a "nice gesture" by Hull City, where Reading played today.

Relieved to discover that it was Hull and not the 'Ding that missed the apostrophe.


----------



## Serene (May 3, 2022)

The Royals are trying to appear woke at every opportunity. Brenda said that Philip threw the first brick at the Stonewall riots, and that she is zealous about the evils of cultural appropriation.


----------



## stavros (May 3, 2022)

Tina Brown, who Wikipedia tells me is a populist writer on the royals, on the radio this morning, predicting the mood of the nation when Brenda finally karks it:

"People won't know how to British any more."


----------



## magneze (May 3, 2022)

All breakfasts will come with hash browns?


----------



## Elpenor (May 3, 2022)

magneze said:


> All breakfasts will come with hash browns?


Meghan Markle’s creeping influence changing our way of life again


----------



## magneze (May 3, 2022)

Tbf American breakfasts are pretty good. No need to eat for the rest of the day.


----------



## Raheem (May 3, 2022)

stavros said:


> Tina Brown, who Wikipedia tells me is a populist writer on the royals, on the radio this morning, predicting the mood of the nation when Brenda finally karks it:
> 
> "People won't know how to British any more."


We will have to relearn the national anthem.


----------



## bluescreen (May 3, 2022)

Raheem said:


> We will have to relearn the national anthem.


It would be good to replace it.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 3, 2022)

magneze said:


> All breakfasts will come with hash browns?


Only cereal


----------



## Raheem (May 3, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> It would be good to replace it.


With the Birdie Song, or no deal.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 3, 2022)

Raheem said:


> With the Birdie Song, or no deal.


If Noel Edmonds has his way it'll be the Mr Bobby song. Deal? Or no deal?


----------



## A380 (May 3, 2022)

magneze said:


> All breakfasts will come with hash browns?


Where do I sign up?


----------



## A380 (May 3, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> She'll be getting a 70ft tree made of trees for her birthday.
> 
> View attachment 319570


She only wanted a Book Token and a bottle of Tweed toilet water…


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 4, 2022)

Sex Pistols to re-release God Save the Queen ahead of Jubilee
					

The punk band will re-release two limited edition versions of the controversial single.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Chilli.s (May 4, 2022)

A reggae version and a disco version?


----------



## Elpenor (May 4, 2022)

There is a Kunt and the Gang song in the pipeline I believe


----------



## ska invita (May 4, 2022)

*Let's make Elizabeth the Last.* That's the message we're getting out to the country over the next few weeks, as we approach the jubilee weekend. 

More Billboards - with your help!​To help Republic do that, I'm asking you to *donate to the Billboards appeal*. Last year we had an amazing response to this appeal, *raising more than £36,000!* Now we need to raise more, so we can get more billboards up around the country.


DONATE​




We're already booking billboards around England and Scotland and hope to get more booked for Wales too. How many billboards we put up depends on you! The more we raise, the more people we reach.


DONATE​
A huge audience​Billboards don't just get seen by the people who drive past them, they are shared and reported across social media and in the press. Last year's Republic Billboards were reported in all the national papers, and overseas. 

*Nik, I know the time is right for another billboard campaign.* The jubilee is likely to be the last major royal event of the Queen's reign, and it raises a lot of questions about the future. With your help we can get the country talking about the monarchy and the democratic alternative.

*So please, donate today and let's get debate going.*


DONATE​
Graham


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 4, 2022)

Just leavin this ere


----------



## Elpenor (May 5, 2022)

The long death continues

Not attending her own garden parties (and presumably unlikely to leave Windsor anymore except perhaps to wave from a balcony next month)









						Queen to miss royal garden parties this summer - BBC News
					

Buckingham Palace says other members of the Royal Family will host as the parties return next week.




					www.bbc.co.uk
				




Other royals will deputise at the parties. Probably not Andrew though.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 5, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> The long death continues
> 
> Not attending her own garden parties (and presumably unlikely to leave Windsor anymore except perhaps to wave from a balcony next month)
> 
> ...


the only way anyone wants to see andrew at a garden party is if he's pushing up daisies


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 5, 2022)




----------



## T & P (May 5, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> the only way anyone wants to see andrew at a garden party is if he's pushing up daisies


Careful now. Likely as not you might get a knock on your door at 5 am tomorrow from Inspector Knacker for such seditious sentiments


----------



## muscovyduck (May 5, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> View attachment 321351


"Greedy Betty.png"


----------



## quiet guy (May 6, 2022)

Listening to some of the shit that is going to happen over the Jubilee to celebrate her 75 years and then the tv journalist says that Brenda won't be attending them. At least she's got some sense because most of the presentation stuff sounds absolute shite.


----------



## rubbershoes (May 6, 2022)

quiet guy said:


> Listening to some of the shit that is going to happen over the Jubilee to celebrate her 75 years and then the tv journalist says that Brenda won't be attending them.



You mean she won't be coming to the wheelbarrow racing in the village? 

Or the Jubilee breakfast in the pub?


----------



## quiet guy (May 6, 2022)

rubbershoes said:


> You mean she won't be coming to the wheelbarrow racing in the village?
> 
> Or the Jubilee breakfast in the pub?


Those sound fun, the official big stuff sounds absolutely dire


----------



## Dystopiary (May 7, 2022)

Trolling us all.


Spoiler


----------



## Elpenor (May 7, 2022)

He’d get sacked for wearing that tie!


----------



## Serene (May 7, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 321522



Which hairdresser does she go to? It favours Mrs Slocombe. Just needs a blue rinse the colour of WKD.


----------



## andysays (May 7, 2022)

Serene said:


> Which hairdresser does she go to? It favours Mrs Slocombe. Just needs a blue rinse the colour of WKD.



I was hoping she was going to Curl Up and Dye


----------



## steveseagull (May 9, 2022)

She is missing the State Opening of Parliament tomorrow. She is on her way out


----------



## stavros (May 9, 2022)

More importantly Dennis Skinner is no longer there to welcome her.


----------



## Flavour (May 9, 2022)

She's fucked isn't she, probs can't string a sentence together, just wobbling around in a chair murmuring the names of long-dead ex-Corgis to herself in some bittersweet memory loop, a whirl of dancing colors and snatched melodies, the irresistible smile of a young Greek prince, a champagne bottle swinging toward the hull of an ocean liner, the smell of roast chestnuts, two beautiful boys, their names a mystery, a trip to Kenya, an elephant, a marzipan, a memorial fountain.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 9, 2022)

Flavour said:


> She's fucked isn't she, probs can't string a sentence together, just wobbling around in a chair murmuring the names of long-dead ex-Corgis to herself in some bittersweet memory loop, a whirl of dancing colors and snatched melodies, the irresistible smile of a young Greek prince, a champagne bottle swinging toward the hull of an ocean liner, the smell of roast chestnuts, two beautiful boys, their names a mystery, a trip to Kenya, an elephant, a marzipan, a memorial fountain.


So moving.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 9, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> So moving.


Brought a fucking tear to my eye that did.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 9, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Brought a fucking tear to my eye that did.


Especially the long-dead Corgi names.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 9, 2022)

Flavour said:


> trip to Kenya, an elephant, a marzipan, a memorial fountain.


And a dead trophy tiger. Ahh the memories.


----------



## pbsmooth (May 9, 2022)

Will she make it to the bank holiday party?


----------



## souljacker (May 9, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Will she make it to the bank holiday party?


She fucking better do. I've got some good stuff happening that weekend. If she dies and things get cancelled or pubs are closed, I will not be happy.

Let's hope she dies on the Sunday so we can have a REALLY long weekend.


----------



## Epona (May 9, 2022)

souljacker said:


> She fucking better do. I've got some good stuff happening that weekend. If she dies and things get cancelled or pubs are closed, I will not be happy.
> 
> Let's hope she dies on the Sunday so we can have a REALLY long weekend.



It's entirely possible that she's already carked it and they won't tell us til after because it's going to expensively wreck a lot of plans and would be bad for morale to do that - I mean I would find the whole thing farcical if I didn't find the idea of monarchy inherently dangerous, and it's not like my OH is going to be given the night off work (doughnuts sell well on bank holidays by all accounts), but there are some people actually looking forward to days off and parties and the like.

I reckon they'll give it a respectful 2 weeks afterwards then announce that she's an ex-queen, shuffled off this mortal coil etc.


----------



## Epona (May 9, 2022)

Also my above post may have made light a bit of the fact that it is quite nice for monarchists and certain sections of the right in general to have an "our monarch made it to platinum jubilee" narrative going on, kind of reinforces the whole "god-given", "better than the rest of us" thing while giving an event of very traditional historic note atm - it's a good opportunity for certain sections of society to shore up a bit of traditionalist ruling class values with some of us plebs.

EDIT: in other words, they'd be more inclined to embalm her, plaster her, prop her up, use CGI or animatronics etc. at the moment than they would to say she's dead before the jubilee.


----------



## SpookyFrank (May 9, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> A fire caused when her horrible anus let rip next to a lit candle.



Something about a candle in the wind...I dunno you figure it out.


----------



## moochedit (May 9, 2022)

Can we get all FMOTL and say no laws passed this session are valid as she didn't do the speech?


----------



## Epona (May 9, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Can we get all FMOTL and say no laws passed this session are valid as she didn't do the speech?



I mean it sounds fun in a way, but I don't want to go pinning anything on "this isn't valid because the monarch wasn't involved" - for a leftie anti-monarchist like me that would be a rather massive political own goal.


----------



## steeplejack (May 9, 2022)

Sir Elton re-working a lachrymose version of _Goodbye Yellow Brick Road_ as we speak, and calling his tailor to produce a dark Tudor waistcoat with black lace ruffs with "EIIR" tastefully picked our in sequinned lilac.


----------



## Dystopiary (May 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> Also my above post may have made light a bit of the fact that it is quite nice for monarchists and certain sections of the right in general to have an "our monarch made it to platinum jubilee" narrative going on, kind of reinforces the whole "god-given", "better than the rest of us" thing while giving an event of very traditional historic note atm - it's a good opportunity for certain sections of society to shore up a bit of traditionalist ruling class values with some of us plebs.
> 
> EDIT: in other words, they'd be more inclined to embalm her, plaster her, prop her up, use CGI or animatronics etc. at the moment than they would to say she's dead before the jubilee.


I remember the rumours about Boris Yeltsin, was he drunk, was he ill, that became, had he been replaced, was he actually dead but embalmed and propped up for the camera etc. 😆


----------



## bluescreen (May 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> It's entirely possible that she's already carked it and they won't tell us til after because it's going to expensively wreck a lot of plans and would be bad for morale to do that - I mean I would find the whole thing farcical if I didn't find the idea of monarchy inherently dangerous, and it's not like my OH is going to be given the night off work (doughnuts sell well on bank holidays by all accounts), but there are some people actually looking forward to days off and parties and the like.
> 
> I reckon they'll give it a respectful 2 weeks afterwards then announce that she's an ex-queen, shuffled off this mortal coil etc.


No way. Everyone has mobile phones and no one can keep a secret.


----------



## steeplejack (May 9, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> I remember the rumours about Boris Yeltsin, was he drunk, was he ill, that became, had he been replaced, was he actually dead but embalmed and propped up for the camera etc. 😆



Not forgetting that he was too pished to get off his plane to meet the Irish Taoiseach in 1994, en route back from America.


----------



## bluescreen (May 9, 2022)

HM is too wobbly to open that pantomime called Parliament.
The very foundations of our nationhood are shaking. 
The monarch is is MINO
Er, which nation? What do we mean by nation?


----------



## Wilf (May 9, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Will she make it to the bank holiday party?


Hang on, NOOO! They can't take it back, it's printed in my diary!


----------



## T & P (May 9, 2022)

Obviously I’ve no insight whatsoever on her state of health, but it is also perfectly possible she has become wheelchair bound due to her advancing age and still be perfectly lucid, mentally competent and have a number of years in her, as countless millions of people go through around the world all the time.

It goes without saying that in an ideal world being wheelchair bound but otherwise reasonably healthy, comfortable and willing should never be an impediment to carry on with your life, even if you’re the bloody head of state. In fact it would be a wonderful advertisement for further acceptance in everyday life of disabled people if she were to show up and open Parliament tomorrow on a wheelchair. But I get the feeling either Brenda herself or whoever is in charge of ‘The Firm’ might think it undignified or something to be embarrassed about.

Then again she might be unwell enough to at least prevent her from attending the event. But I certainly wouldn’t put it past that lot to consider the sight of Her Maj being wheeled in to an official duty unacceptable.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> Obviously I’ve no insight whatsoever on her state of health, but it is also perfectly possible she has become wheelchair bound due to her advancing age and still be perfectly lucid, mentally competent and have a number of years in her, as countless millions of people go through around the world all the time.
> 
> It goes without saying that in an ideal world being wheelchair bound but otherwise reasonably healthy, comfortable and willing should never be an impediment to carry on with your life, even if you’re the bloody head of state. In fact it would be a wonderful advertisement for further acceptance in everyday life of disabled people if she were to show up and open Parliament tomorrow on a wheelchair. But I get the feeling either Brenda herself or whoever is in charge of ‘The Firm’ might think it undignified or something to be embarrassed about.
> 
> Then again she might be unwell enough to at least prevent her from attending the event. But I certainly wouldn’t put it past that lot to consider the sight of Her Maj being wheeled in to an official duty unacceptable.




Nah, she’s violently incontinent every Wednesday.


----------



## Ax^ (May 9, 2022)

think its brenda herself

she does not want to be seen struggling


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 9, 2022)

steeplejack said:


> Not forgetting that he was too pished to get off his plane to meet the Irish Taoiseach in 1994, en route back from America.



Let’s not forget the Irish PM hightailed it back from Australia specifically so he could be ignored by Yeltsin. Stereotypes need to be upheld.


----------



## bluescreen (May 9, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> think its brenda herself
> 
> she does not want to be seen struggling


I reckon you're right. My mother was the same generation and (shocking to me) regarded the wheelchair that could have liberated her as shaming.


----------



## magneze (May 9, 2022)

She could do it Davros style.


----------



## Yossarian (May 9, 2022)

If the proceedings are meant to be opened by an extremely elderly Windsor resident, maybe they shouldn't be holding them in an extremely outdated building in a congested area of London with serious accessibility issues - with a bit of effort I'm sure they could find a site in Slough to build a more suitable new building.


----------



## Bingoman (May 9, 2022)

magneze said:


> View attachment 321935
> 
> She could do it Davros style.


Exterminate


----------



## ska invita (May 9, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> think its brenda herself
> 
> she does not want to be seen struggling


blatantly this though its pretty hilarious how much she doenst want charles to take over, to the point that she still wont stand down even though she can barely stand up


----------



## Ax^ (May 9, 2022)

my remaining grannie get called mrs _my surname _ by her granchildren

even thought she had plenty of kids and buried most of them


her generation are hard minded people

my gran is still alive 89 and still the most determind and decisive in her choices


cannot argue with that women


----------



## Weller (May 9, 2022)

magneze said:


> View attachment 321935
> 
> She could do it Davros style.



Nothing would surprise me after last 2 years it it makes sense  too as charles and camilla  were both out shopping at a  Dr Who fair a few years back 



They also seemed to have their eyes on a Royal guards upgrade they wont come cheap


----------



## Dystopiary (May 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> Obviously I’ve no insight whatsoever on her state of health, but it is also perfectly possible she has become wheelchair bound due to her advancing age and still be perfectly lucid, mentally competent and have a number of years in her, as countless millions of people go through around the world all the time.
> 
> It goes without saying that in an ideal world being wheelchair bound but otherwise reasonably healthy, comfortable and willing should never be an impediment to carry on with your life, even if you’re the bloody head of state. In fact it would be a wonderful advertisement for further acceptance in everyday life of disabled people if she were to show up and open Parliament tomorrow on a wheelchair. But I get the feeling either Brenda herself or whoever is in charge of ‘The Firm’ might think it undignified or something to be embarrassed about.
> 
> Then again she might be unwell enough to at least prevent her from attending the event. But I certainly wouldn’t put it past that lot to consider the sight of Her Maj being wheeled in to an official duty unacceptable.


Totally get you, but it's possible to need a wheelchair without being "wheelchair bound." Some people need a wheelchair but not all the time and there's still a lot of misunderstanding and stigma about that; people get abuse for using a chair or walking aids if they don't use them 100% of the time, as though it "proves" they aren't disabled enough. (I've experienced this.) There was a meme doing the rounds a few years ago that showed a woman standing next to her wheelchair reaching to grab a bottle of alcohol in a shop, the tagline was "It's a Christmas miracle!" Even George Takei shared it. It feeds into that "See, she's not really ill/disabled" and it's really toxic. Not at all saying that that's what you're doing, just wanted to point out that wheelchair users do get that kind of crap if we're seen to do anything without the chair. It's been especially hard with the whole Daily Mail/DWP BS about who "deserves" sickness benefits. A lot of people with blue badges walking from their car have had aggro. So the term"wheelchair bound" is in itself problematic.


----------



## Dystopiary (May 10, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> Totally get you, but it's possible to need a wheelchair without being "wheelchair bound." Some people need a wheelchair but not all the time and there's still a lot of misunderstanding and stigma about that; people get abuse for using a chair or walking aids if they don't use them 100% of the time, as though it "proves" they aren't disabled enough. (I've experienced this.) There was a meme doing the rounds a few years ago that showed a woman standing next to her wheelchair reaching to grab a bottle of alcohol in a shop, the tagline was "It's a Christmas miracle!" Even George Takei shared it. It feeds into that "See, she's not really ill/disabled" and it's really toxic. Not at all saying that that's what you're doing, just wanted to point out that wheelchair users do get that kind of crap if we're seen to do anything without the chair. It's been especially hard with the whole Daily Mail/DWP BS about who "deserves" sickness benefits. A lot of people with blue badges walking from their car have had aggro. So the term"wheelchair bound" is in itself problematic.


Found an old piece about it. The woman in the picture was actually standing on her wheelchair, not next to it. Good for her that it doubled up as a reaching aid!

Too many celebrities, but especially George Takei, are using social media to mock people with disabilities


----------



## Raheem (May 10, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> If the proceedings are meant to be opened by an extremely elderly Windsor resident, maybe they shouldn't be holding them in an extremely outdated building in a congested area of London with serious accessibility issues - with a bit of effort I'm sure they could find a site in Slough to build a more suitable new building.


----------



## Epona (May 10, 2022)

ska invita said:


> blatantly this though its pretty hilarious how much she doenst want charles to take over, to the point that she still wont stand down even though she can barely stand up



As much as I hate the monarchy, as a person with mobility issues myself, I don't feel that being unable to stand up should mean you have to stand down and I don't find that a particularly helpful way to look at things.

(Obvs as I am in favour of a republic I don't think she should be opening parliament whatever her state of mobility, but in general I support the point that mobility issues shouldn't in themselves be an impediment viewed as making someone unsuitable for a job, and I don't think a monarch should have anything to do with parliament even if they can run a marathon).


----------



## platinumsage (May 10, 2022)

She doesn’t want to be seen in a wheelchair because of that famous Princess Margaret photograph, when a servant took it upon himself to push Margaret out for a photo opportunity, despite the family having agreed that would be a bad idea.


----------



## not a trot (May 10, 2022)

Today, she'll get the chance to see how annoying it is, when they cancel bargain hunt in place of this load of bollacks.


----------



## steveo87 (May 10, 2022)

'Mobility issues' is definitely 'dead'.


----------



## ouirdeaux (May 10, 2022)

I think you've got that the wrong way round.


----------



## PR1Berske (May 10, 2022)




----------



## platinumsage (May 10, 2022)

I'm looking forward to seeing Charles do the Queen's peach.

I don't think he can pull it off somehow:


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2022)

The Times has resorted to using pics of the Queen from literally 20 years ago (2002 this one)


----------



## brogdale (May 10, 2022)

Will Sir be requiring the extra wide finger fitting white gloves today?


----------



## magneze (May 10, 2022)

Is the sensible choice for ceremonial clothes for a future monarch in the 21st century full on military garb? An odd choice.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Will Sir be requiring the extra wide finger fitting white gloves today?
> 
> View attachment 321987


that's the most flamboyant park keeper's uniform i've ever seen - not to mention the most ornate litter picker-up


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Will Sir be requiring the extra wide finger fitting white gloves today?
> 
> View attachment 321987


you could fit a cumberland sausage into each of those glove fingers


----------



## two sheds (May 10, 2022)

Will we see Andrew elbow Charles out of the way in the opening ceremony?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Will we see Andrew elbow Charles out of the way in the opening ceremony?


no, this has been planned with military precision: four burly sergeants from the grenadier guards have been told off to stick with andrew all day and ensure he does not cause a scene. if necessary they have been authorised to terminate with extreme prejudice.


----------



## Wilf (May 10, 2022)

As always, this shows up the absurdity of the institution.  Her sense of 'duty'/thinking her son is useless, leaves her doing a role which she physically can't do.  It's beginning to feel like the John Paul II staying put even when he was in the latter stages of Parkinson's.  

Needless to say, I'm not suggesting disabled people should be hoyed out of their jobs (if that was the case I'd be out of mine).  It's the idiocy of a role that you get because of who you are and you do for life.  Added to which, funded by us and those funds then being funneled off to pay her son's nonce fines.


----------



## Brainaddict (May 10, 2022)

I'm surprised the press hasn't made more of the fact that we probably won't see Queenie in parliament again and it's likely to be Charles from now on. A momentuous occassion if you care about such things.


----------



## steveseagull (May 10, 2022)

Look at the look on their faces. They know she is on borrowed time (if she has not gone already). I expect the grim reaper to shimmy out pretty soon. May be before the end of the day.


----------



## Wilf (May 10, 2022)

Bet Keir Starmer's already working on his loyal address to the new king.


----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

Apparently she's checked out...


----------



## BassJunkie (May 10, 2022)

Brainaddict said:


> I'm surprised the press hasn't made more of the fact that we probably won't see Queenie in parliament again and it's likely to be Charles from now on. A momentuous occassion if you care about such things.


Thanks to the editor of Hello! magazine on R4 earlier, when asked for insights regarding the fact that Chuck had to do this because Brenda's dying "I think we're getting a glimpse of the future". Well, thanks for that, I hadn't considered that perspective before.


----------



## A380 (May 10, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> And a dead trophy tiger. Ahh the memories.


TBF a live trophy tiger would be a health and safety nightmare.


----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> you could fit a cumberland sausage into each of those glove fingers



Well, we know it's oedema making his fingers swollen. But what's making them curl up?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Well, we know it's oedema making his fingers swollen. But what's making them curl up?
> 
> View attachment 322015


the embarrassment caused by harry hewitt


----------



## souljacker (May 10, 2022)

BassJunkie said:


> Thanks to the editor of Hello! magazine on R4 earlier, when asked for insights regarding the fact that Chuck had to do this because Brenda's dying "I think we're getting a glimpse of the future". Well, thanks for that, I hadn't considered that perspective before.



I think the opening of parliament by a King is a pretty clear glimpse of the past.


----------



## magneze (May 10, 2022)

William notably not dressed up like a military dictator.


----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

souljacker said:


> I think the opening of parliament by a King is a pretty clear glimpse of the past.


King or queen, nothing about someone who gets to be in charge because they inherited a sparkly hat and a load of men in tights and tassels trooping around in the houses of parliament exactly screams 'future' at me.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 10, 2022)




----------



## not a trot (May 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


>



 Yarwoods done well for himself. Wondered what he was up to these days.


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 10, 2022)

magneze said:


> William notably not dressed up like a military dictator.




He's only there to act like a spare batterys spare battery


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

magneze said:


> William notably not dressed up like a military dictator.



general musharraf not dressed up like a military dictator


----------



## muscovyduck (May 10, 2022)

All my irl mates reckon she's dead


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

muscovyduck said:


> All my irl mates reckon she's dead


she is. all the 'recent' images of her predate the death of the duke of edinburgh as numerous royal watchers have observed


----------



## bluescreen (May 10, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> /


A stroke, d'you reckon?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> A stroke, d'you reckon?


by no means, a slash across the throat


----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

According to this website, she's still alive - but not for long:


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

Wilf said:


> As always, this shows up the absurdity of the institution.  Her sense of 'duty'/thinking her son is useless, leaves her doing a role which she physically can't do.  It's beginning to feel like the John Paul II staying put even when he was in the latter stages of Parkinson's.
> 
> Needless to say, I'm not suggesting disabled people should be hoyed out of their jobs (if that was the case I'd be out of mine).  It's the idiocy of a role that you get because of who you are and you do for life.  Added to which, funded by us and those funds then being funneled off to pay her son's nonce fines.


JP2 stayed put because at that point any resigning pontiff would have been thrown onto the streets without a penny. It was only under Benedict that a pension plan was put in place


----------



## Plumdaff (May 10, 2022)

They've spent money on the Platinum Jubilee celebrations now and probably don't want to cancel them and lose cash. I mean, here in Cardiff there's a concert with Aled Jones and Bonnie Tyler, we're talking top dollar entertainment. 

Get that out of the way then the announcement will be on Monday 6th June.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> They've spent money on the Platinum Jubilee celebrations now and probably don't want to cancel them and lose cash. I mean, here in Cardiff there's a concert with Aled Jones and Bonnie Tyler, we're talking top dollar entertainment.
> 
> Get that out of the way then the announcement will be on Monday 6th June.


Aled Jones and Bonnie Tyler have prepared two sets depending on the queen's status at the time of the gig. E


----------



## Raheem (May 10, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Aled Jones and Bonnie Tyler have prepared two sets depending on the queen's status at the time of the gig. E


Maybe we'll get a poignant rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart, backed by flatlining monitors.


----------



## A380 (May 10, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> Totally get you, but it's possible to need a wheelchair without being "wheelchair bound." Some people need a wheelchair but not all the time and there's still a lot of misunderstanding and stigma about that; people get abuse for using a chair or walking aids if they don't use them 100% of the time, as though it "proves" they aren't disabled enough. (I've experienced this.) There was a meme doing the rounds a few years ago that showed a woman standing next to her wheelchair reaching to grab a bottle of alcohol in a shop, the tagline was "It's a Christmas miracle!" Even George Takei shared it. It feeds into that "See, she's not really ill/disabled" and it's really toxic. Not at all saying that that's what you're doing, just wanted to point out that wheelchair users do get that kind of crap if we're seen to do anything without the chair. It's been especially hard with the whole Daily Mail/DWP BS about who "deserves" sickness benefits. A lot of people with blue badges walking from their car have had aggro. So the term"wheelchair bound" is in itself problematic.



I had one wheelchair using friend who could stand and walk up steps when there was no wheel chair access of someone else carried the chair up ( often me it turned out), and her fucking shopping). 

MS 747 went through a stage of being an occasional wheelchair user. She never couldn’t walk completely.

But I guess some people are happier if us poor little disableds stay in our nice simple compartments…


----------



## A380 (May 10, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Aled Jones and Bonnie Tyler have prepared two sets depending on the queen's status at the time of the gig. E


Walking with my heir…


----------



## MickiQ (May 10, 2022)

There needs to be a picture of her holding today's paper, Times obvs can't have Brenda holding a copy of some lesser rag.


----------



## magneze (May 10, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 322021
> general musharraf not dressed up like a military dictator


So, what you're saying is, both Charles and William are dressed up like military dictators.


----------



## magneze (May 10, 2022)

Perhaps we can call the Platinum Jubilee "It's a Royal Weekend at Bernie's" instead?


----------



## Dystopiary (May 10, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> E


That'd be one way of enduring the mawkish shenanigans.


----------



## Dystopiary (May 10, 2022)

A380 said:


> I had one wheelchair using friend who could stand and walk up steps when there was no wheel chair access of someone else carried the chair up ( often me it turned out), and her fucking shopping).
> 
> MS 747 went through a stage of being an occasional wheelchair user. She never couldn’t walk completely.
> 
> But I guess some people are happier if us poor little disableds stay in our nice simple compartments…


Definitely! Just wanna make clear I'm sure that wasn't what T & P was implying; that phrase was in common use for a long time and is only slowly starting to die a death, so I can see why people wouldn't know it was offensive.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 10, 2022)

I have it on good authority that due to the late nature of Brenda’s bailing old Chuck was double booked and had to dash to the HoP straight from a fancy dress party, with no time to get changed.


----------



## MickiQ (May 10, 2022)

I don't think she's dead, they are expecting a massive outpouring of public grief when Brenda shuffles off this mortal coil (there will be some obvs but it remains to be seen how much), If they announce Monday 5th June that she's been dead for a month and it's all a ruse then I think they probably really do expect rioting in the streets at the depth of this deception.
She needs to hang on for just one more month which I feel is really not too much to ask. The Q's are planning a big family barbecue on the 4th June, The 2 NHS Angels in the family, Pollyanna and Middle have arranged their shifts so they are available and Youngest is coming home from Uni special like. 
If we have to cancel for any Royalty related reason then Mrs Q will be a one woman riot on her own and I am not going to try and talk her down.
Hang on Ma'am we will stick a picture of you on the side of the shed in your honour (unless we run out of charcoal then it's going on the barbie)


----------



## PR1Berske (May 10, 2022)

Timing is everything. This week is very "policy heavy" so next week would be more appropriate. The Jubilee weekend would then become days of mourning.


----------



## MickiQ (May 10, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Timing is everything. This week is very "policy heavy" so next week would be more appropriate. The Jubilee weekend would then become days of mourning.


So long as we can still have our barbeque, I'm cool with that.


----------



## A380 (May 10, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> So long as we can still have our barbeque, I'm cool with that.


You want to BBQ the corpse of HM Queen Elizabeth II??


That’s going a bit far even for here.

(Cue ‘eat the rich’ meme)


----------



## Dom Traynor (May 10, 2022)

We have our Queens Birthday weekend Monday off quite soon it would be good if she timed it so we could get the Friday off as well.


----------



## Ax^ (May 10, 2022)

they moved the Monday to Friday  03rd june Dom


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 10, 2022)

Dom Traynor said:


> We have our Queens Birthday weekend Monday off quite soon it would be good if she timed it so we could get the Friday off as well.



If she goes in September we can get a day off in autumn hopefully


----------



## not a trot (May 10, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> If she goes in September we can get a day off in autumn hopefully



Rees Mogg will probably declare that everyone works an extra day without pay, as a mark of respect to Queenies devotion to hard work. Yeah, some twats believe these fuckers work hard..


----------



## Duncan2 (May 10, 2022)

Having just watched several minutes of the Queen's speech as delivered by Big Ears i find myself wondering whether he might be the next one to go?I appreciate that he is not accustomed to work of whatever kind but he had a kind of wild-eyed look about him as if he wondered himself whether he was going to get through it?Either that or he had been drinking at dinnertime.Always a mistake.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 10, 2022)

Duncan2 said:


> Either that or he had been drinking at dinnertime.



maybe he needed a drink or two before reading that load of bollocks out?


----------



## Flavour (May 10, 2022)

It would be great if she died in the next couple of days tbh it would coincide really nicely with eurovision and Britain continuing to get no points despite queen death would be a wonderful fuck you


----------



## danny la rouge (May 10, 2022)

Dom Traynor said:


> We have our Queens Birthday weekend Monday off quite soon it would be good if she timed it so we could get the Friday off as well.


The Thursday and Friday are bank holidays (2nd and 3rd).  So Monday 6th is when to make loud noises in Windsor.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (May 10, 2022)

Now I'm wondering what the protocols are for "trying to keep the Queen alive" since presumably they don't want her dying in hospital. Is there a royal doctor who ultimately decides between "she's a bit poorly but we could save her if we tried" versus "this is it, no turning back, get the family in here"?


----------



## danny la rouge (May 10, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Now I'm wondering what the protocols are for "trying to keep the Queen alive" since presumably they don't want her dying in hospital. Is there a royal doctor who ultimately decides between "she's a bit poorly but we could save her if we tried" versus "this is it, no turning back, get the family in here"?




Operation Build it up with wood and clay.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 10, 2022)




----------



## steeplejack (May 10, 2022)

The Queen certainly hanging about like a plucky nightwatchman, coming in in the damp gloom the night before with two lights on the scoreboard, and inexplicably still in at tea the following day, 97 not out.

She’s survived a couple of close lbw shouts  in the last few overs however and is now batting with a runner. It’s still not clear if the royal family will avoid the follow-on.


----------



## A380 (May 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


>



TBF that would be more like:


----------



## Pickman's model (May 10, 2022)

A380 said:


> TBF that would be more like:
> 
> View attachment 322061


Pearly generals


----------



## pbsmooth (May 10, 2022)




----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

Where the fuck is Edward, by the way? I feel like I haven't heard anything about his doings since about 1992. 

I mean, if he's done something so bad they've had to hide him away completely while it's still acceptable for Andrew to be interviewed by big-name BBC journalists, you've got to wonder ...


----------



## PR1Berske (May 10, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Where the fuck is Edward, by the way? I feel like I haven't heard anything about his doings since about 1992.
> 
> I mean, if he's done something so bad they've had to hide him away completely while it's still acceptable for Andrew to be interviewed by big-name BBC journalists, you've got to wonder ...


Him and the missus were in Grenada the other week.


----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Him and the missus were in Grenada the other week.


What, was it news or did you just see them chilling in the next cabana along?


----------



## PR1Berske (May 10, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> What, was it news or did you just see them chilling in the next cabana along?


Another official visit to the islands and outcrops, though it didn't go much better than when Wills and Kate poked fingers through a chain-link fence.


----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

Well, OK. I bet he's still a wrong 'un though.


----------



## PR1Berske (May 10, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Well, OK. I bet he's still a wrong 'un though.


We've no proof either way but from one perspective the Windsors have proven that you can have someone who's the "white sheep" of the family.

Charles slept around before and during his marriage to Diana, was an absent father to say the least, interferes in government business and makes most of his fortune on the backs of others.
Andrew......is well documented.

It's close between Edward and Anne, though.


----------



## billy_bob (May 10, 2022)

Nah, Anne's definitely the least worst one.

I'm basing this largely on which of them I think I could most stand to go for a pint with.


----------



## T & P (May 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


>



There is the infamous BBC Question Time audience gammon screenshot palette, and then there is Charles’s face there…


----------



## steveseagull (May 10, 2022)

If nothing else convinces you she is already well dead, this will...


----------



## Sue (May 10, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> If nothing else convinces you she is already well dead, this will...
> 
> View attachment 322064


That's got to be a spoof...? Surely..???


----------



## Yossarian (May 10, 2022)

"73-year-old man who has spent his entire life preparing for job realises a hat can do it better."


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 11, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> If nothing else convinces you she is already well dead, this will...
> 
> View attachment 322064




Is Charles 5 years old?


----------



## two sheds (May 11, 2022)




----------



## billy_bob (May 11, 2022)

T & P said:


> There is the infamous BBC Question Time audience gammon screenshot palette, and then there is Charles’s face there…



I had the gammon screenshot palette at a gastropub last Sunday. It was tough.


----------



## billy_bob (May 11, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> View attachment 322065
> 
> "73-year-old man who has spent his entire life preparing for job realises a hat can do it better."



Face on him in this picture  - that's the look of a man who's just sat through the longest employment induction session in the history of humanity.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> If nothing else convinces you she is already well dead, this will...
> 
> View attachment 322064


“Mummy”. For fuck sake.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 11, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> If nothing else convinces you she is already well dead, this will...
> 
> View attachment 322064


As someone put it on Twitter "I did a big poo on my gold toilet, mummy"


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> “Mummy”. For fuck sake.


You'd expect mama at least


----------



## two sheds (May 11, 2022)

or mater


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> “Mummy”. For fuck sake.


I took that as The Sun taking the piss out of him (they've a record for that)


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

two sheds said:


> or mater


For that mater.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

ska invita said:


> I took that as The Sun taking the piss out of him (they've a record for that)


I took it as a direct quote from an elderly man baby.


----------



## platinumsage (May 11, 2022)

Queen Had the Best Reaction to Prince Charles Calling Her 'Mummy'
					

Was it an eye roll? No one can be quite sure




					time.com


----------



## Yossarian (May 11, 2022)

I took 'mummy' as confirmation that the queen has been preserved in a sarcophagus and will curse anybody who disturbs her tomb.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

two sheds said:


> or mater


He can still be a second Charles, king and martyr


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> He can still be a second Charles, king and martyr


A rerun of Charles 1st would be preferable


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

ska invita said:


> A rerun of Charles 1st would be preferable


That's what I just said, you do know what a martyr is I hope


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 11, 2022)

as in a second charles the first, not a second charles the second


----------



## billy_bob (May 11, 2022)

Charles Cubed


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

It’s generally assumed he’ll take a different regnal name.  King Elvis II would be cool.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s generally assumed he’ll take a different regnal name.  King Elvis II would be cool.


King Charles the last of his house
He can I think only choose from Charles, Arthur, Philip and George: George vii has been widely mooted


----------



## Flavour (May 11, 2022)

I'd like him to take the regnal name Kevin. King Kevin.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s generally assumed he’ll take a different regnal name.  King Elvis II would be cool.





Pickman's model said:


> King Charles the last of his house
> He can I think only choose from Charles, Arthur, Philip and George: George vii has been widely mooted



yes, i have a vague idea i've read that he intends to be george as king (although that may be something that got made up by the press)


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> That's what I just said, you do know what a martyr is I hope


It's early 😑


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 11, 2022)

It would be weird if he took a different regnal name.  He's been prince Charles for a million years.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> King Charles the last of his house
> He can I think only choose from Charles, Arthur, Philip and George: George vii has been widely mooted


I thought it was most likely he’d choose one of those, rather than he had to. But I’m no expert in the matter.

It’s fun to know their rules in order to fully comprehend the ridiculousness of the edifice.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I thought it was most likely he’d choose one of those, rather than he had to. But I’m no expert in the matter.
> 
> It’s fun to know their rules in order to fully comprehend the ridiculousness of the edifice.


I think it has to be one of his given names, and he is Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor


----------



## MickiQ (May 11, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Now I'm wondering what the protocols are for "trying to keep the Queen alive" since presumably they don't want her dying in hospital. Is there a royal doctor who ultimately decides between "she's a bit poorly but we could save her if we tried" versus "this is it, no turning back, get the family in here"?


Considering her grandad was supposedly finished off by his doctor so his death would be  reported in the right paper I imagine Royal Doctor is a job that they view with a certain amount of skepticism


Pickman's model said:


> King Charles the last of his house
> He can I think only choose from Charles, Arthur, Philip and George: George vii has been widely mooted


Must be weird to called by one name your entire life and then insist everyone calls you something  else first day in a new job, he will always be Chucky to me.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (May 11, 2022)

.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> I think it has to be one of his given names, and he is Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor




Well remember Saint Diana, princess of hearts, couldn't even manage to get these four words right: Charles Philip Arthur George  - thick cunt that she was, four names, wrong, remembering to buckle up, wrong...


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Well remember Saint Diana, princess of hearts, couldn't even manage to get these four words right: Charles Philip Arthur George  - thick cunt that she was, four names, wrong, remembering to buckle up, wrong...


I always use the acronym mnemonic child poverty action group, which serves the purpose of riling me at the great gulf between the royal thicko and the millions of children his mum's government keep thrust down in penury


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> I think it has to be one of his given names, and he is Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor



He should definitely go for King Arthur then obv.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 11, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> He should definitely go for King Arthur then obv.


Yes, definitely.  Just to underline the stupidity of the whole fiasco.


----------



## souljacker (May 11, 2022)

I vote for King Rollo.


----------



## billy_bob (May 11, 2022)

King Leopold. So we can call him _'King 'Ell_.


----------



## pesh (May 11, 2022)

King Prawn.


----------



## PR1Berske (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s generally assumed he’ll take a different regnal name.  King Elvis II would be cool.


It's been rumoured for years that he'll take George VII because , well, you don't need to know much British (or specifically Scottish) history to know the potential problems with using Charles III.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 11, 2022)

If he went with Kong I may hold back from my calls for a republic for a bit.


----------



## pesh (May 11, 2022)

I would also accept Tubby or Biscuit Time.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

I would be pleased with penguins' dinner the first course


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (May 11, 2022)

Flavour said:


> I'd like him to take the regnal name Kevin. King Kevin.


Not a bad name to choose.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> It's been rumoured for years that he'll take George VII because , well, you don't need to know much British (or specifically Scottish) history to know the potential problems with using Charles III.


The Hanoverian names being especially popular in Scotland.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> The Hanoverian names being especially popular in Scotland.





Pickman's model said:


> George the First was always reckoned
> Vile, but viler George the Second;
> And what mortal ever heard
> Any good of George the Third?
> ...


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

When the Fifth revived the name
He showed have been beset by shame.
The Sixth's death should have roused elation -
The Seventh's will cheer the entire nation


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2022)

King Digitus, Lord Baron of Lincolnshire, Chancellor of Cumberland, Archduke of Frankfurt, Protector of Bangers


----------



## Dom Traynor (May 11, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Considering her grandad was supposedly finished off by his doctor so his death would be  reported in the right paper I imagine Royal Doctor is a job that they view with a certain amount of skepticism
> 
> Must be weird to called by one name your entire life and then insist everyone calls you something  else first day in a new job, he will always be Chucky to me.


They should take the Filipino approach and call him Bong Bong.


----------



## billy_bob (May 11, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> If he went with Kong I may hold back from my calls for a republic for a bit.



Anything that implies he may be prone to snatching underdressed young women and carry them screaming to his lair for unspecified purposes is probably best avoided by members of the Windsor family for the time being.


----------



## bellaozzydog (May 11, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Now I'm wondering what the protocols are for "trying to keep the Queen alive" since presumably they don't want her dying in hospital. Is there a royal doctor who ultimately decides between "she's a bit poorly but we could save her if we tried" versus "this is it, no turning back, get the family in here"?


They can plug her in and keep her circulating for as long as they want, timing is everything


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Now I'm wondering what the protocols are for "trying to keep the Queen alive" since presumably they don't want her dying in hospital. Is there a royal doctor who ultimately decides between "she's a bit poorly but we could save her if we tried" versus "this is it, no turning back, get the family in here"?


Anyone who has read Michael Moorcock's count brass books will recall king huon who was kept alive in a most peculiar fashion


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

bellaozzydog said:


> They can plug her in and keep her circulating for as long as they want, timing is everything


Well, it’s certainly the secret of great comedy. 😉


----------



## Plumdaff (May 11, 2022)

What about Alfred, then the first and hopefully the last King (of England, your subjugated nation may vary) can have the same name. Has a certain symmetry.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 11, 2022)

I'll only recognize King Mob.


----------



## maomao (May 11, 2022)

King Cnut. But with metathesis.


----------



## Idris2002 (May 11, 2022)

How about a High King?


----------



## Sue (May 11, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> What about Alfred, then the first and hopefully the last King (of England, your subjugated nation may vary) can have the same name. Has a certain symmetry.


Will no-one think of the cakes? Very disappointed in you, Plumdaff .


----------



## danny la rouge (May 11, 2022)

Sue said:


> Will no-one think of the cakes? Very disappointed in you, Plumdaff .


I need to _stop_ thinking about cakes. That’s what _I_ need to do.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I need to _stop_ thinking about cakes. That’s what _I_ need to do.


stop thinking and start acting. or at least eating.


----------



## Sue (May 11, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I need to _stop_ thinking about cakes. That’s what _I_ need to do.


You don't have to inflict 'well fired' (euphemism alert) cakes on the rest of us 😡


----------



## A380 (May 11, 2022)

He’s definitely hinted over the years that he was going to take the name George after his grandfather and be George VII ( George VII - This time it’s personal!)

Obviously nothing to do with the last two King Charleses ending badly…


----------



## DotCommunist (May 11, 2022)

Idris2002 said:


> How about a High King?
> 
> View attachment 322102


Crown him? I ardrigh knew him


----------



## A380 (May 11, 2022)

King Julian


----------



## Dystopiary (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> I think it has to be one of his given names, and he is Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor


I think the "Mountbatten-Windsor" thing was created by Harry for his kids as a tribute to that side of his family.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 11, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> I think the "Mountbatten-Windsor" thing was created by Harry for his kids as a tribute to that side of his family.


no, it wasn't: it dates back more than sixty years. The Royal Family name


----------



## Dystopiary (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> no, it wasn't: it dates back more than sixty years. The Royal Family name




Did not know that! Ta.


----------



## Idris2002 (May 11, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> ardrigh


Oh well done! Award yourself five Gaelgoírí points.


----------



## stavros (May 11, 2022)

steeplejack said:


> Sir Elton re-working a lachrymose version of _Goodbye Yellow Brick Road_ as we speak, and calling his tailor to produce a dark Tudor waistcoat with black lace ruffs with "EIIR" tastefully picked our in sequinned lilac.
> 
> View attachment 321924


"Crocodile Rock" might be a better fit.


----------



## planetgeli (May 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> I always use the acronym mnemonic child poverty action group, which serves the purpose of riling me at the great gulf between the royal thicko and the millions of children his mum's government keep thrust down in penury



Very good. I might have thought of that myself if I had any idea what his full name was.

CPAG are brilliant. They wrote the bible of benefits when I worked in housing benefit.


----------



## not a trot (May 11, 2022)

stavros said:


> "Crocodile Rock" might be a better fit.



Can safely rule out "I'm Still Standing".


----------



## flypanam (May 11, 2022)

I’m worried that they’ll announce Brenda’s passing during the summer holidays!


----------



## Flavour (May 11, 2022)

September would be a good choice too. Days drawing in. Extra bit of summer holiday tacked on the end. Playing Earth Wind & Fire's "Dancing in September" on a bluetooth speaker under a bandstand pavilion in some dilapidated park in Norfolk. A dog walker shakes their head disapprovingly. "Is nothing sacred?" The music segues into the Prodigy's "Charly" -- the dog walker shuffles on, not understanding the reference.

An interesting division is made between football teams who dare hold a minute's silence (Chelsea, Southampton, Aston Villa) and those who do not (Liverpool, Newcastle, Burnley). The second division of English football, now known as the Championship, is renamed The Elizabeth The Second Division. A number of people decide to prank Prince Andrew at the funeral by ordering deliveroo to bring him Pizza Express -- hoardes of delivery riders amass outside the Cathedral in earnest, their Sloppy Giuseppe's slowly going cold on the back of their mopeds and e-bikes.


----------



## billy_bob (May 11, 2022)

Flavour said:


> September would be a good choice too. Days drawing in. Extra bit of summer holiday tacked on the end. Playing Earth Wind & Fire's "Dancing in September" on a bluetooth speaker under a bandstand pavilion in some dilapidated park in Norfolk. A dog walker shakes their head disapprovingly. "Is nothing sacred?" The music segues into the Prodigy's "Charly" -- the dog walker shuffles on, not understanding the reference.
> 
> An interesting division is made between football teams who dare hold a minute's silence (Chelsea, Southampton, Aston Villa) and those who do not (Liverpool, Newcastle, Burnley). The second division of English football, now known as the Championship, is renamed The Elizabeth The Second Division. A number of people decide to prank Prince Andrew at the funeral by ordering deliveroo to bring him Pizza Express -- hoardes of delivery riders amass outside the Cathedral in earnest, their Sloppy Giuseppe's slowly going cold on the back of their mopeds and e-bikes.



Up here we're still annoyed that they cancelled the Toon match the day Diana bit tunnel


----------



## Humberto (May 11, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Up here we're still annoyed that they cancelled the Toon match the day Diana bit tunnel



Was looking forward to that one too.


----------



## steveseagull (May 12, 2022)

Has anyone seen a photo of her alive over the last couple of weeks?

I am no medical expert but I think she is dead.


----------



## bluescreen (May 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Has anyone seen a photo of her alive over the last couple of weeks?
> 
> I am no medical expert but I think she is dead.


Can you just imagine what a scoop that would be for the Sun?
How all the people who are in close contact have mobile phones and Vardyism?
No, she is still definitely consuming oxygen.


----------



## quiet guy (May 12, 2022)

She has to hang on until the Bank holiday, then she can pop her clogs officially so we can get another day or two off.


----------



## two sheds (May 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> I am no medical expert but I think she is dead.


----------



## harpo (May 12, 2022)

Flavour said:


> September would be a good choice too. Days drawing in. Extra bit of summer holiday tacked on the end. Playing Earth Wind & Fire's "Dancing in September" on a bluetooth speaker under a bandstand pavilion in some dilapidated park in Norfolk. A dog walker shakes their head disapprovingly. "Is nothing sacred?" The music segues into the Prodigy's "Charly" -- the dog walker shuffles on, not understanding the reference.
> 
> An interesting division is made between football teams who dare hold a minute's silence (Chelsea, Southampton, Aston Villa) and those who do not (Liverpool, Newcastle, Burnley). The second division of English football, now known as the Championship, is renamed The Elizabeth The Second Division. A number of people decide to prank Prince Andrew at the funeral by ordering deliveroo to bring him Pizza Express -- hoardes of delivery riders amass outside the Cathedral in earnest, their Sloppy Giuseppe's slowly going cold on the back of their mopeds and e-bikes.


There won't be such a division. All the teams will observe silence. Some with their fingers crossed.


----------



## William of Walworth (May 12, 2022)

#pbsmooth said:
			
		

> Will she make it to the bank holiday party?





souljacker said:


> She fucking better do. I've got some good stuff happening that weekend. If she dies and things get cancelled or pubs are closed, I will not be happy.
> 
> Let's hope she dies on the Sunday so we can have a REALLY long weekend.



From back on page #132 (apologies if there've been 'developments'  since then  )

My long-standing wish, for years, has been that when Her Maj croaks, it can be carefully *and deliberately! *timed so that the *Parasite Funeral Bank Holiday (R, TM)* will be on the final Satturday in June  
With the following Monday as a Bank Holiday, obvs! 

ETA : And obviously, that *Glastonbury 202?* isn't cancelled because of no-Queen** , but very falsely rebadged as a rural memorial event   
(**not on line-up anyway  )

And that the new Charlie coronation has to be delayed (because of fatfingeredness or something  ), until *mid-October* -- there's a *criminal!* lack of Bank Holidays around that time of year! 

As you can see, my real priorities are very far from Royalist


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 12, 2022)

William of Walworth said:


> From back on page #132 (apologies if there've been 'developments'  since then  )
> 
> My long-standing wish, for years, has been that when Her Maj croaks, it can be carefully *and deliberately! *timed so that the *Parasite Funeral Bank Holiday (R, TM)* will be on the final Satturday in June  .
> 
> ...


Fucking hell William. Them emojis and underlined doings have set my teeth and ocd on edge.
Nice sentiment though you annoying twat.


----------



## A380 (May 12, 2022)

Flavour said:


> September would be a good choice too. Days drawing in. Extra bit of summer holiday tacked on the end. Playing Earth Wind & Fire's "Dancing in September" on a bluetooth speaker under a bandstand pavilion in some dilapidated park in Norfolk. A dog walker shakes their head disapprovingly. "Is nothing sacred?" The music segues into the Prodigy's "Charly" -- the dog walker shuffles on, not understanding the reference.
> 
> An interesting division is made between football teams who dare hold a minute's silence (Chelsea, Southampton, Aston Villa) and those who do not (Liverpool, Newcastle, Burnley). The second division of English football, now known as the Championship, is renamed The Elizabeth The Second Division. A number of people decide to prank Prince Andrew at the funeral by ordering deliveroo to bring him Pizza Express -- hoardes of delivery riders amass outside the Cathedral in earnest, their Sloppy Giuseppe's slowly going cold on the back of their mopeds and e-bikes.


I think you might have given this too much thought…


----------



## danny la rouge (May 12, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Fucking hell William. Them emojis and underlined doings have set my teeth and ocd on edge.
> Nice sentiment though you annoying twat.


😂 THAT'S not  a  _very_ nice (?!) *THING* to say!


----------



## Wilf (May 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Has anyone seen a photo of her alive over the last couple of weeks?
> 
> I am no medical expert but I think she is dead.


Nonces tend to keep the body of their dead parents in the house for a while, for example Jimmy Savile.  Anyway, what's Prince Andrew up to nowadays?


----------



## platinumsage (May 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Has anyone seen a photo of her alive over the last couple of weeks?
> 
> I am no medical expert but I think she is dead.



She was seen last night but after some investigation it turned out to be Beatrice. 









						Beatrice 'plays role of Queen' amid hopes monarch will go to Windsor Horse Show
					

The Queen’s granddaughter last night stood in for the 96-year-old monarch in a 'dress rehearsal' as Prince Andrew's daughter Beatrice played the role of the monarch




					www.mirror.co.uk


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 12, 2022)

I think she has been gone for a week or 2, it's so close to the woefully patriotic jubilee celebrations that they are keeping quite as so much has been invested in it.

But I know nothing.


----------



## William of Walworth (May 12, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Fucking hell William. Them emojis and underlined doings have set my teeth and ocd on edge.
> Nice sentiment though you annoying twat.


Just seen this. But I don't think too many other people have been really bothered.

FWIW, I've posted like that on here for ever --only the currently departed Orang, and you, have ever made much of a thing about it.

And I wouldn't even know how to compose a post in danny la rouge style!

For your benefit anyway, I've omitted any smiles and underlinings and boldings from this post. Hope that helps. but it may well have to be a one-off
(I do a lot of hyphens too, BTW!).

My suggestion is : focus any pissed-off-ness you have onto the Monarchy!


----------



## MickiQ (May 12, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> She was seen last night but after some investigation it turned out to be Beatrice.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's not a flattering picture tbh, the expression on her face looks like she is doing an impression of Jack Nicholson in the Shining where he chops through the door.


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (May 12, 2022)

William of Walworth said:


> Just seen this. But I don't think too many other people have been really bothered.
> 
> FWIW, I've posted like that on here for ever --only the currently departed Orang, and you, have ever made much of a thing about it.
> 
> ...


I found that really difficult to follow.


----------



## platinumsage (May 12, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> That's not a flattering picture tbh, the expression on her face looks like she is doing an impression of Jack Nicholson in the Shining where he chops through the door.



It could be Andrew in a flesh suit.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 12, 2022)

William of Walworth said:


> My suggestion is : focus any pissed-off-ness you have onto the Monarchy!


Sorry William, it didn't piss me off or annoy me. I was sat having a night with a mate and reading some urban musings on Brenda. However, reading yours was proving fairly difficult because off said emojis and beer. More so the beer. I hope I didn't -offend -too - much- x


----------



## BristolEcho (May 12, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


> I think she has been gone for a week or 2, it's so close to the woefully patriotic jubilee celebrations that they are keeping quite as so much has been invested in it.
> 
> But I know nothing.


I really don't think that's true. I don't see how they could cover it up for so long. I do think she's really ill though.


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 12, 2022)

BristolEcho said:


> I really don't think that's true. I don't see how they could cover it up for so long. I do think she's really ill though.


I wasn't being completely serious, but i dont think she will be around by the end of the year.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 12, 2022)

The thread definitely needs more textual diversity.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 12, 2022)




----------



## TopCat (May 12, 2022)

I doubt we will see much more of her.


----------



## JimW (May 12, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> The thread definitely needs more textual diversity.


არ ცდები საყვარელო
ETA Though back translating that turns out I've diversified more than intended


----------



## platinumsage (May 12, 2022)

Has anyone done any research to determine the average time from rumours of a great leader’s demise first gaining currency to the actual time of their death? There must be quite a bit of data what with Hitler, all the commies etc. I remember when people were saying Yeltsin was dead due to an apparently fake photograph of him sat in an office while on holiday, but it turned out all the remote offices in the Soviet Union of that type were furnished identically so the photo was genuine.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 12, 2022)

JimW said:


> არ ცდები საყვარელო
> ETA Though back translating that turns out I've diversified more than intended


ကျွန်မ ဘာလိုချင်တယ်ဆိုတာ ပြောပြမယ်၊ တကယ်လိုချင်တာက


----------



## not a trot (May 12, 2022)

BristolEcho said:


> I really don't think that's true. I don't see how they could cover it up for so long. *I do think she's really ill though.*


96 actually.


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 12, 2022)

Tree mound ess.


----------



## hippogriff (May 12, 2022)

*
I don't*


----------



## muscovyduck (May 12, 2022)

this thread is beginning to read like a tumblr shitpost


----------



## Ax^ (May 12, 2022)

needs more yellow


----------



## Steel Icarus (May 13, 2022)

I don't do Twitter but someone in my office has said Twitter claims a factory in China has received a huge order for Union flags with Liz's face on and 1926-2022.

Not bad considering she rocked up at Royal Windsor horse show half an hour ago


----------



## T & P (May 13, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


> I think she has been gone for a week or 2, it's so close to the woefully patriotic jubilee celebrations that they are keeping quite as so much has been invested in it.
> 
> But I know nothing.


Well, I really wouldn't want it to interfere with the Wagatha Christie trial, so such delay would suit me fine.


----------



## ouirdeaux (May 13, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I don't do Twitter but someone in my office has said Twitter claims a factory in China has received a huge order for Union flags with Liz's face on and 1926-2022.



I can't imagine a more credible source.


----------



## T & P (May 13, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I don't do Twitter but someone in my office has said Twitter claims a factory in China has received a huge order for Union flags with Liz's face on and 1926-2022.
> 
> Not bad considering she rocked up at Royal Windsor horse show half an hour ago


She looks like she's tripping balls as well. Have they given her a funny pill or two for the outing? 















						Queen attends Royal Windsor Horse Show
					

The monarch is pictured smiling as she arrives, days after missing the State Opening of Parliament.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## brogdale (May 13, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I don't do Twitter but someone in my office has said Twitter claims a factory in China has received a huge order for Union flags with Liz's face on and 1926-2022.
> 
> Not bad considering she rocked up at Royal Windsor horse show half an hour ago


Over 6 months to go; worth the risk for the chance to mop up the market quickly?


----------



## ska invita (May 13, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I don't do Twitter but someone in my office has said Twitter claims a factory in China has received a huge order for Union flags with Liz's face on and 1926-2022.
> 
> Not bad considering she rocked up at Royal Windsor horse show half an hour ago


Jubilee ones would say that


----------



## andysays (May 13, 2022)

T & P said:


> She looks like she's tripping balls as well. Have they given her a funny pill or two for the outing?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


So she pulls a sickie for the State Opening of Parliament,  then goes on a jolly a few days later.

I hope someone will be reviewing her benefits...


----------



## MrCurry (May 13, 2022)

It does start to look like she’s less incapacitated, more on strike. Did all this absence from official duties stuff start when the apple of her eye Andy was besmirched by the commoners? Maybe she’s somewhat more on his side than the public knows and she‘s simply had enough of doing her bit.


----------



## elbows (May 13, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> It does start to look like she’s less incapacitated, more on strike. Did all this absence from official duties stuff start when the apple of her eye Andy was besmirched by the commoners? Maybe she’s somewhat more on his side than the public knows and she‘s simply had enough of doing her bit.


Well we already know that he is in some senses 'her favourite son' and that a point was made of having him walk her down the aisle at Philips service some months back.

But frankly too many different things happened within a fairly short space of time for me to be able to guess the full realities, motivations and causes of her non-participation in various duties.

eg I could make a case that she couldnt endure the tedium of various events once Philip was no longer around to make jokes. Or that once she was told not to drink alcohol, she wasnt up for bothering with the dull shit any more.

But I could also take the mobility issues stuff at face value, or a combination of things, eg her presence at the horse thing was not shocking given that she clearly loves the horse-related stuff, and unlike the state opening of parliament she didnt have to read a speech or get out of the car.


----------



## BristolEcho (May 13, 2022)

I don't have any sympathy for her, but it must also be pretty exhausting and surreal having your potential death under such huge scrutiny. It's something lots of people feel very differently about and can be a hard place for people especially when they have just lost someone too.


----------



## not a trot (May 13, 2022)

BristolEcho said:


> I don't have any sympathy for her, but it must also be pretty exhausting and surreal having your potential death under such huge scrutiny. It's something lots of people feel very differently about and can be a hard place for people especially when they have just lost someone too.



I can just picture her sitting listening to the Royal pundits on the telly, shouting, 'one should shut ones fucking gob'.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 13, 2022)

BristolEcho said:


> I don't have any sympathy for her, but it must also be pretty exhausting and surreal having your potential death under such huge scrutiny. It's something lots of people feel very differently about and can be a hard place for people especially when they have just lost someone too.


i think i could take it in my stride as i sat in one of my more palatial homes with an army of minions and servants to cater for my every whim


----------



## klang (May 13, 2022)

T & P said:


> She looks like she's tripping balls as well. Have they given her a funny pill or two for the outing?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


she's just going through a serious Roger Daltrey fan-phase.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 13, 2022)

klang said:


> she's just going through a serious Roger Daltrey fan-phase.


is that zoe lyons she's talking to?


----------



## klang (May 13, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> is that zoe lyons she's talking to?


a psyche-era Townshend fan.


----------



## Duncan2 (May 13, 2022)

I see this thread was started several years ago.Wonder if Brenda isn't going to confound us all by living to be 110?She looks sort of chipper in this new photo.


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> is that zoe lyons she's talking to?



That person isn't actually there - she's hallucinating.


----------



## steveseagull (May 13, 2022)

Do we definitely know that was not old footage photos? Do we definitely know that is actually her?
I am no expert in the ageing process but she looks about ten years younger than last time we saw her


----------



## MickiQ (May 13, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Do we definitely know that was not old footage photos? Do we definitely know that is actually her?
> I am no expert in the ageing process but she looks about ten years younger than last time we saw her


The injections are working then


----------



## Pickman's model (May 13, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Do we definitely know that was not old footage photos? Do we definitely know that is actually her?
> I am no expert in the ageing process but she looks about ten years younger than last time we saw her


She always does when she sheds her skin


----------



## BristolEcho (May 13, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> i think i could take it in my stride as i sat in one of my more palatial homes with an army of minions and servants to cater for my every whim


That does make it easier true. Or maybe it gives you to long to think about it?


----------



## stavros (May 13, 2022)

BristolEcho said:


> I don't have any sympathy for her, but it must also be pretty exhausting and surreal having your potential death under such huge scrutiny. It's something lots of people feel very differently about and can be a hard place for people especially when they have just lost someone too.


I'm looking forward to the conspiracy theories starting after she passes.


----------



## two sheds (May 13, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I don't do Twitter but someone in my office has said Twitter claims a factory in China has received a huge order for Union flags with Liz's face on and 1926-2022.


I posted that several weeks ago  I was first with that disinformation


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2022)

andysays said:


> So she pulls a sickie for the State Opening of Parliament,  then goes on a jolly a few days later.
> 
> I hope someone will be reviewing her benefits...



I don't feel like less involvement with parliament and more involvement with horses is necessarily a bad thing...

(Benefits review ofc should have been underway long ago anyway.  Maybe one day we'll have an arse on throne, crown on head review.  Or if it is left too long might end up being a head on neck review).


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 14, 2022)




----------



## Elpenor (May 14, 2022)

She’s absolutely fine


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2022)

She looks well, but as I'm sure you expect from me, I'm disappointed she wasn't driving her own car.


----------



## Elpenor (May 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> She looks like she's tripping balls as well. Have they given her a funny pill or two for the outing?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Dealers don’t even try and hide what they’re up to these days


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 14, 2022)

T & P said:


>


----------



## Elpenor (May 14, 2022)

Maybe she’ll be found dead on a farm track in Rettendon tomorrow morning?


----------



## oryx (May 14, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> View attachment 322525


That's one for the mind bleach!


----------



## spring-peeper (May 14, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> She looks well, but as I'm sure you expect from me, I'm disappointed she wasn't driving her own car.




She looks happy - old people deserve to be happy!!!


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> View attachment 322526
> She’s absolutely fine



Just needs the occasional adjustment


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

spring-peeper said:


> She looks happy - old people deserve to be happy!!!



All of them?


----------



## spring-peeper (May 14, 2022)

krtek a houby said:


> All of them?




For the most part, yes!!!


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

spring-peeper said:


> For the most part, yes!!!



Would rather her "subjects" be happy


----------



## spring-peeper (May 14, 2022)

krtek a houby said:


> Would rather her "subjects" be happy




meh!!!


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

spring-peeper said:


> meh!!!



Canadians are still her subjects, iirc


----------



## spring-peeper (May 14, 2022)

krtek a houby said:


> Canadians are still her subjects, iirc




You are correct.


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

spring-peeper said:


> You are correct.



Thoughts and prayers, etc


----------



## Kaka Tim (May 14, 2022)

I rekon she's good for another 10 years and will outlive sausage fingers.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 14, 2022)

Why hasn't she got any wrinkles for fuck sake?  It's totally bizarre.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 14, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Why hasn't she got any wrinkles for fuck sake?  It's totally bizarre.


They iron her every day


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> They iron her every day



Some launder, too


----------



## Pickman's model (May 14, 2022)

krtek a houby said:


> Some launder, too


Sometimes she shrinks in the wash


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Sometimes she shrinks in the wash



The speed queen washing machine


----------



## MrCurry (May 14, 2022)

When you see how long these royals live for, you’ve got to wonder what medical treatments they’re getting which could similarly benefit the rest of us, in terms of longevity. Or is it down to many generations of superior nutrition, encoded into those inbred genes?


----------



## bluescreen (May 14, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> When you see how long these royals live for, you’ve got to wonder what medical treatments they’re getting which could similarly benefit the rest of us, in terms of longevity. Or is it down to many generations of superior nutrition, encoded into those inbred genes?


Don't have to wait for a doctor's appointment, do they? You can grow old just waiting to speak to someone on the phone.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 14, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Don't have to wait for a doctor's appointment, do they? You can grow old just waiting to speak to someone on the phone.


At the going down of the sun and in the morning we will still be listening to the hold music


----------



## Pickman's model (May 14, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> When you see how long these royals live for, you’ve got to wonder what medical treatments they’re getting which could similarly benefit the rest of us, in terms of longevity. Or is it down to many generations of superior nutrition, encoded into those inbred genes?


Why can't they all be culled at the age of 36 like Diana?


----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> When you see how long these royals live for, you’ve got to wonder what medical treatments they’re getting which could similarly benefit the rest of us, in terms of longevity. Or is it down to many generations of superior nutrition, encoded into those inbred genes?



Lizard DNA


----------



## pbsmooth (May 14, 2022)

Inbred genes being notoriously superior, of course... 

I think there's just a big peg on the back of her neck.


----------



## MrCurry (May 14, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Inbred genes being notoriously superior, of course...
> 
> I think there's just a big peg on the back of her neck.


No they’re not, but if they are inbred from within a gene pool which benefits from better nutrition and healthcare over 30+ generations then you might not be surprised to see an advantage in longevity vs the rest of us, whose ancestors were eating gruel and floor sweepings.


----------



## William of Walworth (May 14, 2022)

From pages ago (#138!) --sorry!




			
				William of Walworth said:
			
		

> Just seen this. But I don't think too many other people have been really bothered.
> FWIW, I've posted like that on here for ever --only the currently departed Orang, and you, have ever made much of a thing about it.
> And I wouldn't even know how to compose a post in @danny la rouge style!
> For your benefit anyway, I've omitted any smiles and underlinings and boldings from this post. Hope that helps. but it may well have to be a one-off
> ...






			
				Kevbad the Bad said:
			
		

> I found that really difficult to follow.



I have my severe doubts that that's true, Kevbad!  

(ETA later to include actual Kevbad the Bad quote!!  )


----------



## William of Walworth (May 14, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> The thread definitely needs more textual diversity.


As I said earlier, I'd need lessons to reach that advfanced level! 

Couuld you please offer me a few?


----------



## William of Walworth (May 14, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> I rekon she's good for another 10 years and will outlive sausage fingers.



This. She looked prettty damned healthy in that Horse Show picture, too well to be near death's door anyway.

 Any chance of a surprise re-appearance, at least once,  at at least one of "her" Jubilee events? 

I won't be present, but I could, contrary to the above, be hoping for a surprise announcement from Suggs in Brockwell Park on Friday 3rd June! 

Long odds against with that one though, I'd say.


----------



## Kaka Tim (May 14, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> gruel and floor sweepings.



Luxury! my ancestors  _dreamed_ of gruel and floor sweepings ... (etc)


----------



## danny la rouge (May 14, 2022)

William of Walworth said:


> As I said earlier, I'd need lessons to reach that advfanced level!
> 
> Couuld you please offer me a few?


There’s no magic. It’s in the posting tools. Click the three dots next to the italic symbol and it all appears.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 14, 2022)

William of Walworth said:


> She looked prettty damned healthy in that Horse Show picture, too well to be near death's door anyway.


My guess is that she’s not physically infirm, but is becoming demented and that’s why she’s being excused talking duties.


----------



## William of Walworth (May 14, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> There’s no magic. It’s in the posting tools. Click the three dots next to the italic symbol and it all appears.
> 
> View attachment 322583


I'm too bloody lazy to bother, I think!


----------



## Pickman's model (May 14, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> My guess is that she’s not physically infirm, but is becoming demented and that’s why she’s being excused talking duties.


it's because downing street think she'll pipe up and tell the world the fact that that she's being held captive by the foul johnson creature that they've barred her from anywhere where she might let slip the truth and start a royalist rebellion that'd see johnson locked in a fridge. permanently.


----------



## UrbaneFox (May 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> is that zoe lyons she's talking to?


I thought was Shirley Williams, on a brief visit from the other side.


----------



## Aladdin (May 14, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Why hasn't she got any wrinkles for fuck sake?  It's totally bizarre.


She has a chubby face...
A little bit of fat goes a long way to keeping a youthful face.
Look at Ann...she's got enough wrinkles for both of them ...thin face.


----------



## bellaozzydog (May 14, 2022)

I’ve missed every single royal cultural event (deaths weddings) since the peoples princess head punted the Pont de l'Alma due to always being somewhere faintly ridiculous and remote for work, negative TV or Radio 

Having scrutinised my work schedule the Queens death and burial will be between 29 July and  4 October, after that all bets are off and she’ll live longer than a Greenland shark


----------



## Pickman's model (May 14, 2022)

bellaozzydog said:


> I’ve missed every single royal cultural event (deaths weddings) since the peoples princess head punted the Pont de l'Alma due to always being somewhere faintly ridiculous and remote for work, negative TV or Radio
> 
> Having scrutinised my work schedule the Queens death and burial will be between 29 July and  4 October, after that all bets are off and she’ll live longer than a Greenland shark


Could you not arrange a work trip for say Tuesday to hurry her along a bit?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 14, 2022)

Aladdin said:


> She has a chubby face...
> A little bit of fat goes a long way to keeping a youthful face.
> Look at Ann...she's got enough wrinkles for both of them ...thin face.


Yeh where did Anne's formerly chubby face go, if not to her vampire ma?


----------



## bellaozzydog (May 14, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Inbred genes being notoriously superior, of course...
> 
> I think there's just a big peg on the back of her neck.


The Bombadier pub in Chelsea has a clientele so posh i believe it’s the local for the last of the Habsburg line


----------



## andysays (May 14, 2022)

bellaozzydog said:


> I’ve missed every single royal cultural event (deaths weddings) since the peoples princess head punted the Pont de l'Alma due to always being somewhere faintly ridiculous and remote for work, negative TV or Radio
> 
> Having scrutinised my work schedule the Queens death and burial will be between 29 July and  4 October, after that all bets are off and she’ll live longer than a Greenland shark



It's just occurred to me that it's almost 25 years since Diana died (it happened just after I moved into my flat, which is how I remember), so maybe the Queen can do the decent thing and mark the 25th anniversary by dying herself on (or at least close to, I'm not fussy) 31st August (had to check the exact date).


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Could you not arrange a work trip for say Tuesday to hurry her along a bit?


Cant we please wait until  mid June, then we will get the extra bank holidays, it's the only reason I want her to hold on tbh.


----------



## pbsmooth (May 14, 2022)

bellaozzydog said:


> The Bombadier pub in Chelsea has a clientele so posh i believe it’s the local for the last of the Habsburg line


Where's that 🤔


----------



## bellaozzydog (May 14, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Where's that 🤔


Fack Grenadier GRENADIER  

18 Wilton Row
Belgravia
SW1X 7NR

I had artillery in my mind for some reason


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 14, 2022)




----------



## krtek a houby (May 14, 2022)

bellaozzydog said:


> The Bombadier pub in Chelsea has a clientele so posh i believe it’s the local for the last of the Habsburg line


 Allegedly haunted, too


----------



## tim (May 14, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> No they’re not, but if they are inbred from within a gene pool which benefits from better nutrition and healthcare over 30+ generations then you might not be surprised to see an advantage in longevity vs the rest of us, whose ancestors were eating gruel and floor sweepings.



That sounds suspiciously Lamarckian to me. And, anyway, she's old but she's not that old I know several people older than her, admittedly two less than I did this time a fortnight ago. 

Previous British monarchs are not particularly noted for their longevity. George III and Victoria made it to 81abd Richard Cromwell who was briefly Lord Protector to 85. I had West Country peasant ancestors who lived as long or longer. Palaces and castles were damp and insanitary to live.





__





						Kings & Queens by Age | Britroyals
					





					britroyals.com


----------



## two sheds (May 14, 2022)

tim said:


> That sounds suspiciously Lamarckian to me.


The Midwife Lizard?


----------



## tim (May 14, 2022)

two sheds said:


> The Midwife Lizard?


The erroneous theory, proposed by Lamarck and superceded by Darwin's theory if Natural Selection, that acquired characteristics could be passed on from parents to offspring.


----------



## two sheds (May 14, 2022)

tim said:


> The erroneous theory,


or was it???


----------



## William of Walworth (May 15, 2022)

bellaozzydog said:


> Fack Grenadier GRENADIER
> 
> 18 Wilton Row
> Belgravia
> ...


Back in the day, a small group of us South Kensington workers (V & A) made the mistake of going to The Grenadier as a post-work change from our usual haunts -- the beer was OK-ish, , but yes, the clientele were properly full-on posh! 

To the point that we retreated after no more than a pint each!  ... one of us was a bit posh, who tended to take the piss out of herself a bit,  and even she said afterwards : "they make me sound a bit common!"


----------



## MrCurry (May 15, 2022)

tim said:


> That sounds suspiciously Lamarckian to me.



I have no idea what that means. 


tim said:


> And, anyway, she's old but she's not that old I know several people older than her, admittedly two less than I did this time a fortnight ago.



96 not out is a pretty good innings, regardless of whether you know some people who are older or not. 


tim said:


> Previous British monarchs are not particularly noted for their longevity. George III and Victoria made it to 81abd Richard Cromwell who was briefly Lord Protector to 85. I had West Country peasant ancestors who lived as long or longer. Palaces and castles were damp and insanitary to live.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It doesn’t make much sense to make value judgements on their relative longevity unless you’re comparing to contemporaneous average lifespans. To me, 81 seems quite a long lifespan for the time in which they lived.


----------



## MickiQ (May 15, 2022)

Her Mum made it to a 100 and let's face it Brenda is going to be getting the best care available there is probably someone checking her out every day. She has both genetics and environment on her side. It's like three weeks to the Jubilee they can keep her going till then


----------



## Pickman's model (May 15, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> I have no idea what that means.
> 
> 
> 96 not out is a pretty good innings, regardless of whether you know some people who are older or not.
> ...


Quite a few rebels out in Ireland in 1798 survived until the 1860s and 1870s when they can't have been younger than between 72-82


----------



## ouirdeaux (May 15, 2022)

People's lifespan hasn't changed all that much over recent centuries. The oft-quoted statement about the average age at death being 30 or 40 or whatever in the 1800s is pretty much meaningless, because there were probably very few people who died at around that age compared to most others. What kept the average down was the massive child mortality rate, supplemented by relatively high (by our standards) numbers of deaths in childbirth or in war, depending on sex. If you managed to survive childhood and early adulthood, you had a fair chance of reaching your (Biblical, so rather old) threescore and ten.


----------



## tim (May 15, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> I have no idea what that means.
> 
> 
> 96 not out is a pretty good innings, regardless of whether you know some people who are older or not.
> ...



If you don't know what Lamarckian means why didn't you Google the term. That's what I do on the frequent occasions I come across a concept on these boards that I am unfamiliar with.






						Lamarckism - Wikipedia
					






					en.m.wikipedia.org
				




As I said before 96 is a good innings but not exceptional. She had one sibling who died much younger. Her mother had a good innings too. This is not particularly surprising as their health is closely monitored and they have access to the best healthcare facilities. Their is no reason, at all, to assume that this is genetically determined.

We'll two of them lived to 81 the rest died younger, and that doesn't take into account the elder siblings and cousins whose lives ended much earlier. There were plenty of elder brothers who didn't make it to the throne. 

Life expectancy figures from the past can be deceptive. Lots of people never made it past childhood and childbirth, epidemics and accidents would have shortened the lives of others. However, even amongst the poor a fair proportion made it into their 70s and 80s as was the case with royals.


----------



## Sue (May 15, 2022)

Scottish support for monarchy falls to 45%, poll reveals
					

Widening rift on retaining the royals is revealed ahead of Queen’s platinum jubilee




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## spitfire (May 15, 2022)

Today.


----------



## teqniq (May 15, 2022)

Sue said:


> Scottish support for monarchy falls to 45%, poll reveals
> 
> 
> Widening rift on retaining the royals is revealed ahead of Queen’s platinum jubilee
> ...


Good. But 45% is still way too much imo. People are overly deferential to the parasites.


----------



## Sue (May 15, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Good. but 45% is still way too much imo. People are overly deferential to the parasites.


Oh, I agree. But it's a start.


----------



## tim (May 15, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Today.



Not according to the Guardian or BBC, I nearly missed my stop ( Clapham Junction) because of you.


----------



## spitfire (May 15, 2022)

tim said:


> Not according to the Guardian or BBC, I nearly missed my stop ( Clapham Junction) because of you.



I didn’t say now. Later.


----------



## tim (May 15, 2022)

spitfire said:


> I didn’t say now. Later.


You'd better be right. Otherwise I shall get very cross.


----------



## spitfire (May 15, 2022)

I feel it in my bones.


----------



## MickiQ (May 15, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Good. But 45% is still way too much imo. People are overly deferential to the parasites.


I think the reign of King Chucky will bring it down further both at home and in the Commonwealth, by the end of his reign I think it's safe to assume that certainly Jamaica and a few others will have become republics. Canada and Australia are the big ones once one of them goes the rest will be like dominos.
The problem with Chucky is his age, he won't be on the throne long enough for abolition to build up enought steam so we will get to see King Billy the Bald but I still have hope he truly will be the last.


----------



## MrCurry (May 15, 2022)

tim said:


> If you don't know what Lamarckian means why didn't you Google the term.



Laziness and lack of interest


tim said:


> As I said before 96 is a good innings but not exceptional. She had one sibling who died much younger. Her mother had a good innings too. This is not particularly surprising as their health is closely monitored and they have access to the best healthcare facilities. Their is no reason, at all, to assume that this is genetically determined.
> 
> We'll two of them lived to 81 the rest died younger, and that doesn't take into account the elder siblings and cousins whose lives ended much earlier. There were plenty of elder brothers who didn't make it to the throne.
> 
> Life expectancy figures from the past can be deceptive. Lots of people never made it past childhood and childbirth, epidemics and accidents would have shortened the lives of others. However, even amongst the poor a fair proportion made it into their 70s and 80s as was the case with royals.


I don’t really accept your assertion that the royals aren’t living especially long, and I haven’t assumed this is genetically predetermined, just speculated that it might be a factor.  If you feel differently, that’s fine with me


----------



## ska invita (May 15, 2022)

obscene hand gestures lol


----------



## Ax^ (May 15, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> When you see how long these royals live for, you’ve got to wonder what medical treatments they’re getting which could similarly benefit the rest of us, in terms of longevity. Or is it down to many generations of superior nutrition, encoded into those inbred genes?



it the gin mostly


----------



## klang (May 15, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> There’s no magic. It’s in the posting tools. Click the three dots next to the italic symbol and it all appears.
> 
> View attachment 322583


Are you sure you want to introduce WoW to more colours for his posts?


----------



## klang (May 15, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Good. But 45% is still way too much imo. People are overly deferential to the parasites.


quite surprised it was more than 45% before....


----------



## klang (May 15, 2022)

MrCurry said:


> When you see how long these royals live for, you’ve got to wonder what medical treatments they’re getting which could similarly benefit the rest of us, in terms of longevity


my gran-in-law died a few months ago at the age of 103. Her secret? Living on her own in the jungle till the age of 101.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 15, 2022)

klang said:


> Are you sure you want to introduce WoW to more colours for his posts?


Yes, yes I do. Let there be a thousand blossoms bloom as far as I am concerned. 😀

😡 But I ain't spending any time on it because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland.


----------



## klang (May 15, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Yes, yes I do. Let there be a thousand blossoms bloom as far as I am concerned. 😀


🥰🎨❤️🎨🥰🥰


----------



## AnnO'Neemus (May 15, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> It's been rumoured for years that he'll take George VII because , well, you don't need to know much British (or specifically Scottish) history to know the potential problems with using Charles III.


I was vaguely aware that he might choose a different name, but I didn't pay much attention to history lessons, I'm afraid, so I don't know what the problems are with him being called King Charles.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 15, 2022)

AnnO'Neemus said:


> I was vaguely aware that he might choose a different name, but I didn't pay much attention to history lessons, I'm afraid, so I don't know what the problems are with him being called King Charles.


bonnie prince charlie


----------



## platinumsage (May 15, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> bonnie prince charlie



If that's a concern rest assured that George VII of Imereti was twice deposed, then exiled and assassinated.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 15, 2022)

AnnO'Neemus said:


> I was vaguely aware that he might choose a different name, but I didn't pay much attention to history lessons, I'm afraid, so I don't know what the problems are with him being called King Charles.


The name also has happier connotations.









						Execution of Charles I - Wikipedia
					






					en.m.wikipedia.org


----------



## AnnO'Neemus (May 15, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> The name also has happier connotations.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ah, all the Oliver Cromwell stuff that I was vaguely aware of but paid no attention to. Thank you. 

It's not like he'd directly follow the executed Charles I, though, there was a Charles II, so he'd be Charles III?

And if there are problems with the name Charles on that basis, surely George is problematic too? I mean, the last King George only became King George VI because his brother abdicated, so the last King George wasn't born to be king. Does Charles want to bear the sort of comparison with a King George who should never really have been king at all. (Like many think Charles shouldn't become king on the death of Elizabeth II and it should skip a generation.)


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 15, 2022)

ska invita said:


> obscene hand gestures lol


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 15, 2022)

ska invita said:


> obscene hand gestures lol


The right wing media are all triggered coz the fans were not booing players taking the knee but something they hold dear. Snowflake hypocrits. So much for 'free speech.'


----------



## brogdale (May 15, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Today.


Big call.


----------



## tim (May 15, 2022)

Should the House of Cambridge come a cropper in an  unfortunate helicopter mishap, I would hope that the happy beneficiary would chose the regnal name Henry IX regardless of any possible stigma. 

It would be like having proper old-fashioned monarchs again. Particularly, with Andrew of York lurking in the background waiting for his chance. Whoever cane out on top, I would imagine that Edward of Wessex would steer clear of vats if Duchy Original wine


----------



## Dystopiary (May 15, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


>



That booing exceeded my expectations. Brilliant.


----------



## Santino (May 15, 2022)

If the Royal Family would agree to constantly murder and betray each other for the Crown, that's a monarchy I could get behind.


----------



## Elpenor (May 15, 2022)

My mate told me the Liverpool fans often boo the anthem. Didn’t know that or the reason (no reason needed tbh!) but then I have little interest in football.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 15, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> That booing exceeded my expectations. Brilliant.


Apparently they were chanting ' we love Meghan markle' ( or words to that effect) as well


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 15, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> My mate told me the Liverpool fans often boo the anthem. Didn’t know that or the reason (no reason needed tbh!) but then I have little interest in football.


Yes they do. Think it was mainly after Hillsborough because they are part of the establishment.


----------



## Elpenor (May 15, 2022)

Ah, makes sense


----------



## stavros (May 15, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Apparently they were chanting ' we love Meghan markle' ( or words to that effect) as well


I heard "We want house prices to fall!" too.


----------



## oryx (May 15, 2022)

Good article by Peter Tatchell, I thought. 









						No thanks, Ma’am. For LGBT campaigners like me, your jubilee is nothing to celebrate | Peter Tatchell
					

I was asked to join the Queen’s pageant as a ‘national treasure’, but I won’t take part in this public relations exercise, says human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 17, 2022)

The sodding buntings already up near mine.

Hope it absolutely pisses down


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 17, 2022)

One of my customers is going to this, all dogs will be wearing Union flag bow ties! 
RSPCA matter?


----------



## T & P (May 18, 2022)

I think someone said this as a joke the other day, but it’s almost as if she actually called in a sickie for the State opening of Parliament because she didn’t want to do it this year, given that she’s suddenly more active and looking better and healthier than she had for many months.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 18, 2022)

As I said previously, she's fine.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 18, 2022)

T & P said:


> I think someone said this as a joke the other day, but it’s almost as if she actually called in a sickie for the State opening of Parliament because she didn’t want to do it this year, given that she’s suddenly more active and looking better and healthier than she had for many months.


she used the day off to bathe in the blood of virgins


----------



## Flavour (May 18, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> As I said previously, she's fine.


Thanks for repeating yourself


----------



## steveseagull (May 18, 2022)

Well this is interesting.  It has since been taken down by MSN but the Tweet is still there.


----------



## steveseagull (May 18, 2022)

Seems to have come from here





__





						archive.ph
					





					archive.ph
				




Perhaps the Liverpool fans booing him was the final straw for her.


----------



## MickiQ (May 18, 2022)

I hope they haven't seperated, not that I actually care but I had more than enough of seeing the People's Princess on the box when she left Chucky. I don't want to endure that.


----------



## ska invita (May 18, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Well this is interesting.  It has since been taken down by MSN but the Tweet is still there.
> 
> View attachment 323128and


this would be great news from a republican point of view - "Kate" is the last one of the royals really working the daily media smile.
and if the reason they split is that the royal experience is too hard, media invasive and soul destroying, all the better.
unfortunately the source of the story doesnt fill me with much confidence


----------



## platinumsage (May 18, 2022)

The original German article that was the source says:

"410 Seite deaktiviert
Das aufgerufene Dokument scheint nicht mehr zu existieren."


Mind you with inside info directly from palace staff like this, how can it not be true:

The staff eavesdropped on their conversation where Kate expressed her unhappiness. As the site schlager.de reports, Prince William responded to her:
“When you married me, you knew what you were getting into!“
To which she is said to have replied:
“Maybe marrying you was a mistake.“


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 18, 2022)

Quite a lot of twitter stuff about W & K separating.  I wonder if it's true?


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (May 18, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Well this is interesting.  It has since been taken down by MSN but the Tweet is still there.
> 
> View attachment 323128



Must be true - they've given her her surname back.


----------



## MickiQ (May 18, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> The original German article that was the source says:
> 
> "410 Seite deaktiviert
> Das aufgerufene Dokument scheint nicht mehr zu existieren."
> ...


Oh yeah damning evidence right there.
If their marriage was in trouble, I can't just see Kate packing up and going back to her Mum and Dad's spare room for a bit. Her kids are the 3rd, 4th and 5th in line for the Golden Seat. It would be more likely that Billy the Bald would move out to give her a bit of space. I believe his Gran's gaff is currently empty he could crash there for a bit.
I can't remember (not least because I wasn't interested enough to pay attention at the time) but when People's Princess and Chucky split I don't think Billy and Harry Hewitt automatically went with her. 
I doubt even if it was true it will do the monarchy much long term harm though unless she dies in a car crash in a tunnel, it survived losing People's Princess twill survive losing Katie.


----------



## stavros (May 18, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Quite a lot of twitter stuff about W & K separating.  I wonder if it's true?


Please don't spend too much time or energy wondering.


----------



## tim (May 19, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Well this is interesting.  It has since been taken down by MSN but the Tweet is still there.
> 
> View attachment 323128


It doesn't really interest me


----------



## steveseagull (May 19, 2022)

tim said:


> It doesn't really interest me


Thank you for letting us know.


----------



## two sheds (May 19, 2022)

There's just no class to these lot I can't get interested. Wagatha now ....


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 19, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (May 22, 2022)

Have I just sunk the thread?

The er.....undead?


----------



## Chilli.s (May 22, 2022)

Knew it... a fuckin vampire


----------



## brogdale (May 22, 2022)

Chilli.s said:


> Knew it... a fuckin vampire


And....as if by (black) magic...


----------



## Chilli.s (May 22, 2022)




----------



## platinumsage (May 22, 2022)

Vampires are famously fond of corgis.


----------



## Chilli.s (May 23, 2022)

And Cerberus was a corgi cross breed, follow the clues


----------



## nino_savatte (May 23, 2022)

Doesn't it make you proud to be British?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

nino_savatte said:


> Doesn't it make you proud to be British?



on the way to work i passed a street cleaner who had added union jack bunting to his cart


----------



## bluescreen (May 23, 2022)

nino_savatte said:


> Doesn't it make you proud to be British?



Jesus


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

nino_savatte said:


> Doesn't it make you proud to be British?



there's something fascist about that display, reminiscent of the worst flag excesses of the third reich


----------



## nino_savatte (May 23, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> there's something fascist about that display, reminiscent of the worst flag excesses of the third reich


Funny you should say that. Ein volk, ein reich etc.


----------



## Chilli.s (May 23, 2022)

This phoney glorification of a system that depends on exploitation is sickening, a couple of days off work for the proles should sweeten things


----------



## nino_savatte (May 23, 2022)




----------



## ska invita (May 23, 2022)

our council have repurposed the reusable wire xmas tree that comes out every december and put it out covered in union jacks


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 23, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> on the way to work i passed a street cleaner who had added union jack bunting to his cart


There was a woman in Asda with Union flag pint mugs at the checkout and I had an involuntary head shake. She tutted and rolled her eyes. How dare she raise a mug to our beloved queen!


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

nino_savatte said:


> Funny you should say that. Ein volk, ein reich etc.
> View attachment 323775


every street should be like the kurfurstendam said dr goebbels


----------



## MickiQ (May 23, 2022)

Other than the tat for sale behind the counter in the corner shop I haven't seen any jubilee bunting round here at all.  The only flags round here are still Ukrainian ones, even the guy who flew the Union Jack at half mast during Phil The Greeks funeral.
We will wait and see if there is an outbreak next week.


----------



## ska invita (May 23, 2022)

nino_savatte said:


> Doesn't it make you proud to be British?



tbf they do that most


----------



## steeplejack (May 23, 2022)

nino_savatte said:


> Doesn't it make you proud to be British?


----------



## ska invita (May 23, 2022)

i really resent the fact they've called crossrail the elizabeth line - first of all the london accent makes it a struggle to say EL IZ A BETH and i dread the day it starts getting called the lizzy line...also ffs they call everything the elizabeth this and that - at least that depressing bridge over industrial dartford (The Queen Elizabeth II Bridge) captures some of the misery of the monarchy


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 23, 2022)

ska invita said:


> i really resent the fact they've called crossrail the elizabeth line - first of all the london accent makes it a struggle to say EL IZ A BETH and i dread the day it starts getting called the lizzy line...also ffs they call everything the elizabeth this and that - at least that depressing bridge over industrial dartford (The Queen Elizabeth II Bridge) captures some of the misery of the monarchy


Lizbuff line.


----------



## MickiQ (May 23, 2022)

ska invita said:


> i really resent the fact they've called crossrail the elizabeth line - first of all the london accent makes it a struggle to say EL IZ A BETH and i dread the day it starts getting called the lizzy line...also ffs they call everything the elizabeth this and that - at least that depressing bridge over industrial dartford (The Queen Elizabeth II Bridge) captures some of the misery of the monarchy


there's loads of stuff named after her








						List of things named after Elizabeth II - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

ska invita said:


> first of all the london accent makes it a struggle to say EL IZ A BETH


no it doesn't


----------



## ska invita (May 23, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> no it doesn't


yes it does


----------



## brogdale (May 23, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Lizbuff line.


Will always be cross rail to those of us in the tube deserts of Sarf London


----------



## Ax^ (May 23, 2022)

call it the sluff line


----------



## bluescreen (May 23, 2022)

What's wrong with 'Crossrail'?


----------



## Elpenor (May 23, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> What's wrong with 'Crossrail'?



Four years late, over budget, Bond Street still not finished…


----------



## Dom Traynor (May 23, 2022)

ska invita said:


> yes it does


No it doesn't.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

ska invita said:


> yes it does


oh no it doesn't


----------



## Ax^ (May 23, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> What's wrong with 'Crossrail'?


 it goes to Slough so its the sluff line


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> it goes to Slough so its the sluff line


slough is short for the slough of despond, made famous by john bunyan in pilgrim's progress

but slough is sl-ow not sluff

e2a: slough rhymes with cow


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Will always be cross rail to those of us in the tube deserts of Sarf London


the taklamakan of thornton heath


----------



## two sheds (May 23, 2022)

if she goes soon it'll be the snuff line


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 23, 2022)

My town is now festooned with flags of all the commonwealth nations, a handful of union flags and a Ukraine one. It looks a mess and all down the high street you can hear people bickering over why these flags are there, very few people seem to get the commonwealth connection. If I get drunk enough one night I might stick up a couple of Russian ones.


----------



## MickiQ (May 23, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> My town is now festooned with flags of all the commonwealth nations, a handful of union flags and a Ukraine one. It looks a mess and all down the high street you can hear people bickering over why these flags are there, very few people seem to get the commonwealth connection. If I get drunk enough one night I might stick up a couple of Russian ones.


My youngest sister's husband has this MASSIVE England flag that he drapes across the front of their house during World/European Cups etc. It's so big that he has to string the ends out of both front bedroom windows. My sister hates it and has threatened to burn it on more than one occasion, I'll have to ask if he intends to crack it out for the Jubilee.


----------



## Ax^ (May 23, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> slough is short for the slough of despond, made famous by john bunyan in pilgrim's progress
> 
> but slough is sl-ow not sluff
> 
> e2a: slough rhymes with cow



sluff is a less common spelling variant of Slough "the cast off skin of a snake"


also as I used to lived down the road from Slough it will always be going to sluff to me


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> sluff is a less common spelling variant of Slough "the cast off skin of a snake"
> 
> 
> also as I used to lived down the road from Slough it will always be going to sluff to me


How to Pronounce “Slough”: Slew? Sluff? Slow? Slug? Slog? the town rhymes with cow the skin shedding rhymes with buff


----------



## T & P (May 23, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> My youngest sister's husband has this MASSIVE England flag that he drapes across the front of their house during World/European Cups etc. It's so big that he has to string the ends out of both front bedroom windows. My sister hates it and has threatened to burn it on more than one occasion, I'll have to ask if he intends to crack it out for the Jubilee.


Christ, he sounds like a right fucking knob


----------



## MickiQ (May 23, 2022)

T & P said:


> Christ, he sounds like a right fucking knob


For most things he's a great guy but he is an utterly fanatical Man U fan


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> For most things he's a great guy but he is an utterly fanatical Man U fan


and may be a great royal toady i hear


----------



## MickiQ (May 23, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> and may be a great royal toady i hear


Probably not but never expressed any opinion on the subject that I can recall.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Probably not but never expressed any opinion on the subject that I can recall.


we'll find out after you've broached the subject with him


----------



## ska invita (May 23, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> My sister hates it and has threatened to burn it on more than one occasion


COME ON ENGLAND!  🔥🔥🔥


----------



## ouirdeaux (May 23, 2022)

Slough of Despond is pronounced like the place,  though.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 23, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> Slough of Despond is pronounced like the place,  though.


slough of despond is the place.


----------



## bluescreen (May 23, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> slough of despond is the place.


People shrug off the memory when they crawl out into a new life.


----------



## brogdale (May 23, 2022)

Never been to Slough, but I instinctively feel some empathy for the denizens since a posho vermin scum candidate I was arguing with once told me that his old school was "Slough Comp."; of course the cunt went to Eton.


----------



## stavros (May 23, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Never been to Slough, but I instinctively feel some empathy for the denizens since a posho vermin scum candidate I was arguing with once told me that his old school was "Slough Comp."; of course the cunt went to Eton.


Eton, and indeed Windsor Castle, has a Slough postcode.


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 23, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> What's wrong with 'Crossrail'?




Crossrail is the name of the project, like HS1 and HS2


Elizabeth line is still shit name


----------



## tim (May 23, 2022)

Brenda is starting a national tour of garden centres and railway temini just to prove that she's not dead

Queen uses buggy to visit Chelsea Flower Show


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 23, 2022)

tim said:


> Brenda is starting a national tour of garden centres and railway temini just to prove that she's not dead
> 
> Queen uses buggy to visit Chelsea Flower Show


Is it her though. Or that lookalike who wears her shoes in ?


----------



## Santino (May 23, 2022)

Have we had 'Lizard Line' yet?


----------



## Ax^ (May 23, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Elizabeth line is still shit name



for all the people claiming the women is a shape changing lizards


just upset my suggesting it as the "sluff line" was not greated with bigger praise


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 25, 2022)

Monarchy is a crime against the working class 









						Cracks appearing- the monarchy and the FA Cup Final - Anarchist Communist Group
					

We have taken several looks at the current state of the British monarchy in articles on this website. As Elizabeth’s reign draws to an end, we see the edifice of the royal family looking increasingly flimsy and ramshackle.    Signs of this could be seen in the miscalculation of Elizabeth in...




					www.anarchistcommunism.org


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 25, 2022)

stavros said:


> Eton, and indeed Windsor Castle, has a Slough postcode.



as does Maidenhead and surrounding patch.

Every now and then there's a local campaign to change the postcodes because they don't want to be associated with Slough


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 26, 2022)

She had better hot pop it over the holiday weekend and ruin it for everyone


----------



## Artaxerxes (May 26, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> She had better hot pop it over the holiday weekend and ruin it for everyone



No, after august so we get some time off in the autumn for a change


----------



## Edie (May 26, 2022)

Santino said:


> Have we had 'Lizard Line' yet?


It’s going to be known as that in my head forever now


----------



## pogofish (May 26, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> She had better hot pop it over the holiday weekend and ruin it for everyone



Hot-poop on Deeside is that she will be relocated to Balmoral, just after the Jubilee celebrations are over and will be spending a lot more time there. 

Apparently Craigowan Lodge - her "other" residence on the estate has had a lot of work done on it over the winter to accommodate her needs.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 26, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> There is a Kunt and the Gang song in the pipeline I believe



Sweaty Nonce - buy it from tomorrow! 
Not sure if it warrants a thread of its own or not.


----------



## Magnus McGinty (May 26, 2022)




----------



## PR1Berske (May 26, 2022)

stavros said:


> Eton, and indeed Windsor Castle, has a Slough postcode.


They were once in the same Westminster constituency.


----------



## tim (May 28, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> slough is short for the slough of despond, made famous by john bunyan in pilgrim's progress
> 
> but slough is sl-ow not sluff
> 
> e2a: slough rhymes with cow


Come friendly bombs and fall on Liz!
Who isn't fit, to rule us now
There isn't time to scrape and bow.
Swarm over, Death!
Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
That  sweatless Andy Prince who preens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.


----------



## pogofish (May 28, 2022)

Interesting - it seems that on Thursday, she was whisked up to Balmoral for a "short break" ahead of the Jubilee celebrations.









						Queen at Balmoral ahead of Platinum Jubilee celebrations
					

The break at Her Majesty's Aberdeenshire retreat is ahead of Platinum Jubilee events next week.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




You have to wonder if she will actually be coming back south?


----------



## Elpenor (May 28, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Interesting - it seems that on Thursday, she was whisked up to Balmoral for a "short break" ahead of the Jubilee celebrations.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Hopefully she goes west


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 29, 2022)

i hope she goes south quickly*


* dont give a shit tbh, she an auld wifie. just a bit more privileged than the other auld wifies


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 29, 2022)

please dont die in Scotland HRH, we dont want the place to become a Spandau like pilgrimage site for the faithful


----------



## pogofish (May 29, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Hopefully she goes west



Craigowan Lodge - Which is where they seem to have made all the preparations for her is actually to the west of Balmoral.  After that, there is only Corndavon Lodge, which is bleak - I'd imagine someone else might be sent there?


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 29, 2022)

theres a vacant property in Glencoe she would probably feel at home in . One of her auld mates used to live there


----------



## pogofish (May 29, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> please dont die in Scotland HRH, we dont want the place to become a Spandau like pilgrimage site for the faithful



I understand that might actually be the plan.  There has been talk of Balmoral being repurposed as a museum dedicated to HRH after she goes and opened to the public year round, with it being used/closed for only a small number of ceremonial events across the year, mainly balls, whilst the focus moves to the smaller Birkhall as the main Royal residence - It is already Charles's home up here.


----------



## PR1Berske (May 29, 2022)

"She's been Balmoral'd" is quite the euphemism for dying.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 29, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> "She's been Balmoral'd" is quite the euphemism for dying.


A single to Osbourne


----------



## AmateurAgitator (May 29, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (May 29, 2022)

Sick bag


----------



## brogdale (May 29, 2022)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 29, 2022)

pogofish said:


> I understand that might actually be the plan.  There has been talk of Balmoral being repurposed as a museum dedicated to HRH after she goes and opened to the public year round, with it being used/closed for only a small number of ceremonial events across the year, mainly balls, whilst the focus moves to the smaller Birkhall as the main Royal residence - It is already Charles's home up here.




Brenda’s mum’s from Scotland, Glamis Castle, bet she was conceived there and the current move is her being salmon-like, heading home to die. Wednesday would be funny as fuck, bollock up all the ‘celebrations’.


----------



## Yossarian (May 29, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Brenda’s mum’s from Scotland, Glamis Castle, bet she was conceived there and the current move is her being salmon-like, heading home to die.



"Having used up the last of her energy in the grueling journey home and the spawning process, the exhausted queen might survive another 10 days or so to guard the fertilized eggs she has deposited in a nest in the gravel."


----------



## NoXion (May 30, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> as does Maidenhead and surrounding patch.
> 
> Every now and then there's a local campaign to change the postcodes because they don't want to be associated with Slough



Classist bellends.


----------



## rutabowa (May 31, 2022)

I think it will be in the next 24 hours


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 31, 2022)

I’m getting my funeral suit out for a brushing tonight just in case


----------



## ElizabethofYork (May 31, 2022)

rutabowa said:


> I think it will be in the next 24 hours


Any particular reason?  or just wishful thinking?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 31, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Any particular reason?  or just wishful thinking?


rutabowa has pillow, will travel


----------



## Pickman's model (May 31, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> I’m getting my funeral suit out for a brushing tonight just in case


no dull suits for that funeral


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 31, 2022)

In fact I’m going to camp out outside buck house from now on. Just to get a good spot. I will be the one holding the union flag and weeping if you want to say hello


----------



## rutabowa (May 31, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Any particular reason?  or just wishful thinking?


I think everyone is allowed one guess on this thread that might potentially make it look like they have secret contacts at the palace, I just played mine


----------



## Elpenor (May 31, 2022)

Dying before the jubilee celebrations would be an epic troll


----------



## rutabowa (May 31, 2022)

I actually did have a friend who worked in the Buckingham palace kitchen a while ago.... he only lasted about 4 weeks before he got sacked, the sacking letter (on palace headed paper) was the funniest thing ever.


----------



## danny la rouge (May 31, 2022)

rutabowa said:


> I actually did have a friend who worked in the Buckingham palace kitchen a while ago.... he only lasted about 4 weeks before he got sacked, the sacking letter (on palace headed paper) was the funniest thing ever.


You’d get it framed, wouldn’t you? I would.


----------



## rutabowa (May 31, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> You’d het it framed, wouldn’t you? I would.


I hope so... it was quite long and detailed about his extremely poor attitude, "gazing into space" when he was being instructed on etiquette etc


----------



## rutabowa (May 31, 2022)

Dont have a clue why they gave him the job in the first place, he is a good chef but you only have to meet him for about 5 seconds to work out he is not going to fit in anywhere you need to show "deference".

I think he tried to hide his nature because it is good pay and hours compared to most chef jobs, but he couldn't hide it for very long.


----------



## William of Walworth (May 31, 2022)

pogofish said:


> I understand that might actually be the plan.  There has been talk of Balmoral being repurposed as a museum dedicated to HRH after she goes and opened to the public year round, with it being used/closed for only a small number of ceremonial events across the year, mainly balls, whilst the focus moves to the smaller Birkhall as the main Royal residence - It is already Charles's home up here.


It's all very well to have this talk in Scotland  about the Queen 'retiring'** to Balmoral .... 

But not so long ago at all, there was plenty of talk about her plans to be 'Working From Home' at Windsor! 

And not wanting to spend much if any time at Buckingham Palace, because she supposedly  associated Windsor with Phillip so much ..

Also, where does Sandringham and Osborne fit into this league table of Royal parasitism?  

**'Retiring' has more than one possible definition, obviously ...  

You could as well look on this visit to Balmoral as her seeing now as her one last chance to survey 'her' Scottish estates .....  

(Not that I give a fuck in reality about *any* of all this!  <  at self!  >


----------



## izz (May 31, 2022)

rutabowa said:


> Dont have a clue why they gave him the job in the first place, he is a good chef but you only have to meet him for about 5 seconds to work out he is not going to fit in anywhere you need to show "deference".


Wattaguy 😀


----------



## William of Walworth (May 31, 2022)

I still stick to my prediction that Queen will last until October at the very earliest. Possibly even October 2024 or 2025!


----------



## William of Walworth (May 31, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> She had better hot pop it over the holiday weekend and ruin it for everyone






			
				Artaxerxes said:
			
		

> No, after August so we get some time off in Autumn for a change



Exactly this!


----------



## izz (May 31, 2022)

I think she'll quietly abdicate around August. 😀


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 31, 2022)

Loving twitter today.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 31, 2022)




----------



## pogofish (May 31, 2022)

William of Walworth said:


> It's all very well to have this talk in Scotland  about the Queen 'retiring'** to Balmoral ....
> 
> But not so long ago at all, there was plenty of talk about her plans to be 'Working From Home' at Windsor!
> 
> ...



Osborne was sold off decades ago. I think the council who now own it keep a couple of rooms, should they want to use them as a courtesy and occasionally some minor ones have when on other duties on the island.


----------



## ouirdeaux (May 31, 2022)

My prediction is 29 August. What do I win if I'm right?


----------



## brogdale (May 31, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> My prediction is 29 August. What do I win if I'm right?


----------



## MickiQ (May 31, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Osborne was sold off decades ago. I think the council who now own it keep a couple of rooms, should they want to use them as a courtesy and occasionally some minor ones have when on other duties on the island.


Osborne House belongs to English Heritage now, Mrs Q and I visited it last August on our first ever visit to the IoW. One of the highspots of going round it is you actually visit the room where Vicky checked out.  
Worth a visit to see how the other 0.000001% live


----------



## Elpenor (May 31, 2022)

English heritage who repackage and commodify our history and sell it back to us at a price


----------



## Elpenor (May 31, 2022)

Queen caught up in mid-air drama as lightning storm forces jet to abort landing
					

The Queen was approaching London when her private jet was caught up in a storm forcing the craft to abandon an attempted landing




					www.mirror.co.uk
				




Looks like the grim reaper chanced his arm this evening.


----------



## pogofish (Jun 1, 2022)

William of Walworth said:


> Also, where does Sandringham and Osborne fit into this league table of Royal parasitism?



Sandringham's status is similar to Balmoral - Private property of the Monarch but not a Royal Residence in the owned by the Crown sense and no official/ceremonial/state purposes beyond the normal ongoing duties of any Royals residing there at the time.  The Balmoral Balls and guest weekends are all private/family affairs. So if its anything like Balmoral and Birkhall (owned by Charles, who inherited it from the Queen Mother), there will be a series of complex and clear as mud legal agreements on its management by the Royal Palaces/Crown Estates people that means some money gets shuffled around to ensure the public is not seen to be paying for it beyond the military/security presence.


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 1, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Queen caught up in mid-air drama as lightning storm forces jet to abort landing
> 
> 
> The Queen was approaching London when her private jet was caught up in a storm forcing the craft to abandon an attempted landing
> ...


You follow that link and on the same page  is this story of a woman who has survived on one meal a day for 2 months the UK press really don't do irony do they?









						Single mum has eaten just one meal a day for two months so kids don't go hungry
					

Claire Pulfrey has seen the amount she spends on energy more than double, from £10 a week at the beginning of the year to nearly £25 today




					www.mirror.co.uk


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 1, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Queen caught up in mid-air drama as lightning storm forces jet to abort landing
> 
> 
> The Queen was approaching London when her private jet was caught up in a storm forcing the craft to abandon an attempted landing
> ...


In a parallel universe everyone in this thread is in awe of me


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jun 1, 2022)

rutabowa said:


> In a parallel universe everyone in this thread is in awe of me


That was a near miss!


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 1, 2022)

rutabowa said:


> In a parallel universe everyone in this thread is in awe of me


So close but oh so far away


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 1, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> That was a near miss!


We’ve all seen 



Spoiler



final destination


the queen can’t dodge death!


----------



## William of Walworth (Jun 1, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> You follow that link and on the same page  is this story of a woman who has survived on one meal a day for 2 months the UK press really don't do irony do they?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


At least The Mirror reported that at all. Sun/Fail wouldn't!


----------



## brogdale (Jun 2, 2022)

Really not well at all...


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 2, 2022)

I found this recording of a duet I did with that guy who got sacked from the palace kitchen, I guess here is the right thread to post it


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 2, 2022)

On the balcony today both Prince Michael and Prince Charles looked like they are going to let the Queen attend their funerals. William to be king by 2027 imo.

Wee George had better start learning some Welsh.


----------



## Dystopiary (Jun 2, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Really not well at all...
> 
> View attachment 325133


The legs! 😱


----------



## stavros (Jun 2, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Wee George had better start learning some Welsh.


Which one's he? The one summing up the Urban mood below?


----------



## quiet guy (Jun 2, 2022)

No that one is Louis, George is the one in the suit.


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 2, 2022)

Tabloid body-language experts and lip readers have agreed with me that the Queen will outlive Charles e.g :


----------



## brogdale (Jun 2, 2022)

Here we go...




> The Queen will miss the national service of thanksgiving at St Paul’s Cathedral in London on Friday after experiencing “some discomfort” during Thursday’s platinum jubilee celebrations, Buckingham Palace has said.


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 2, 2022)

Probably wants to study the form in the Racing Post prior to the Derby


----------



## souljacker (Jun 2, 2022)

She defo shat herself.


----------



## PR1Berske (Jun 2, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Jun 2, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


>



keep up at the back


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 2, 2022)

Queen will not attend Jubilee service after experiencing death


----------



## brogdale (Jun 2, 2022)

Oh FFS, are you all pissed already?


----------



## moochedit (Jun 2, 2022)

Exclusive. You heard it here first but the queen is not going to the jubliee tommorow.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 2, 2022)

Perhaps she caught the rona from the sweaty nonce who really, really has tested positive


----------



## moochedit (Jun 2, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Perhaps she caught the rona from the sweaty nonce who really, really has tested positive


He should have worn a mask in pizza express.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 2, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Perhaps she caught the rona from the sweaty nonce who really, really has tested positive


Virus must be going round the schools again.


----------



## Duncan2 (Jun 2, 2022)

I noticed that C4 News anchor on the Mall wheeled out the "non-working Royal" line in order to explain the absence of the sweaty Nonce and also Harry.There was no mention of Covid.Perhaps C4 didnt get the Memo.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 2, 2022)

Duncan2 said:


> I noticed that C4 News anchor on the Mall wheeled out the "non-working Royal" line in order to explain the absence of the sweaty Nonce and also Harry.There was no mention of Covid.Perhaps C4 didnt get the Memo.




None of them work?


----------



## not a trot (Jun 2, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Exclusive. You heard it here first but the queen is not going to the jubliee tommorow.



Suffered some discomfort whilst on the balcony. She needed a piss.


----------



## moochedit (Jun 2, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Suffered some discomfort whilst on the balcony. She needed a piss.


Ah...on the good spirits again


----------



## Duncan2 (Jun 2, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Suffered some discomfort whilst on the balcony. She needed a piss.


Thats harsh😁


----------



## not a trot (Jun 2, 2022)

Duncan2 said:


> Thats harsh😁



That's life when you get to her age.


----------



## 1927 (Jun 2, 2022)

,,


----------



## Duncan2 (Jun 2, 2022)

If she appeared in the Abbey tomorrow wearing plastic pants I bet no one would say a word about it👍


----------



## PR1Berske (Jun 2, 2022)




----------



## not a trot (Jun 2, 2022)

Duncan2 said:


> If she appeared in the Abbey tomorrow wearing plastic pants I bet no one would say a word about it👍



They would if they were on her head.


----------



## rubbershoes (Jun 2, 2022)

not a trot said:


> They would if they were on her head.



And she said wibble


----------



## elbows (Jun 2, 2022)

Duncan2 said:


> I noticed that C4 News anchor on the Mall wheeled out the "non-working Royal" line in order to explain the absence of the sweaty Nonce and also Harry.There was no mention of Covid.Perhaps C4 didnt get the Memo.



Its tomorrows thing that Covid eliminated Andrew from, he was not supposed to appear on the balcony today.


----------



## weltweit (Jun 2, 2022)

He will be tossing and turning in his sick bed sweating buckets, no wait ..


----------



## Raheem (Jun 2, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


>



"Some discomfort". Never too late to develop a conscience.


----------



## Flavour (Jun 2, 2022)

I reckon she started tripping bills and dissociating and contemplating her own existence and all it's fleeting value, how in the sands of time her reign on Earth will be no more or less remembered than that of a single wasp. A point of view widening to take the moon into view, then venus, mars, mercury, and even the outer planets, so distant and so cold. What are 70 years to the rings of Saturn? A trifle. A cough. A bead of sweat, unsweated. Beneath the pores. Beyond the poor.


----------



## ska invita (Jun 3, 2022)

really trying to think who she reminds me of...???



ah yes!


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 3, 2022)

ska invita said:


> really trying to think who she reminds me of...???
> 
> View attachment 325301
> 
> ...



see also:


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jun 3, 2022)

ska invita said:


> really trying to think who she reminds me of...???
> 
> View attachment 325301


----------



## quiet guy (Jun 3, 2022)

ska invita said:


> really trying to think who she reminds me of...???
> 
> View attachment 325301
> 
> ...


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 3, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 3, 2022)

All that pomp and she pulled a sickie?


Shocking


----------



## Epona (Jun 3, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> All that pomp and she pulled a sickie?
> 
> 
> Shocking



She was worried about missing the oaks this arvo.


----------



## quiet guy (Jun 3, 2022)

Not worried about her appearance fees


----------



## steveseagull (Jun 3, 2022)

The Jubilee has properly fucked her hasn't it.


----------



## N_igma (Jun 3, 2022)




----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 3, 2022)

Aww now it looks like she's going to miss the Epsom Horse-Slaughtering Festival as well


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jun 3, 2022)

"some discomfort" = heart attack?


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 3, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> "some discomfort" = heart attack?



Bionic spine servo failure.


----------



## magneze (Jun 3, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> "some discomfort" = heart attack?


Big poo


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 3, 2022)

make it stop


----------



## magneze (Jun 3, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> make it stop


Immodium?


----------



## Epona (Jun 3, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Aww now it looks like she's going to miss the Epsom Horse-Slaughtering Festival as well



I think you're getting the Derby confused with the Grand National.


----------



## bcuster (Jun 3, 2022)

A380 said:


> TBF that would be more like:
> 
> View attachment 322061


medals on the pants? omg...


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 3, 2022)

Epona said:


> I think you're getting the Derby confused with the Grand National.



I think you're getting me confused with someone who can be bothered to differentiate between the various forms of the disgusting activity known as 'horse racing'.


----------



## Epona (Jun 3, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> I think you're getting me confused with someone who can be bothered to differentiate between the various forms of the disgusting activity known as 'horse racing'.



If you're going to comment on it constantly, at least try to know a tiny bit about what you're talking about


----------



## Epona (Jun 3, 2022)

(I should probably point out that I am not some horse racing fanatic, I just concern myself more with the untold human misery it causes in terms of gambling and the sometimes horrific exploitation of people who work in the industry)


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 3, 2022)

Epona said:


> (I should probably point out that I am not some horse racing fanatic, I just concern myself more with the untold human misery it causes in terms of gambling and the sometimes horrific exploitation of people who work in the industry)



It's just shit across the board.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jun 3, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> All that pomp and she pulled a sickie?
> 
> 
> Shocking



Maybe she caught covid off Andrew?


----------



## magneze (Jun 3, 2022)

If the Queen was crowned in 1953 why is this year the Jubilee?


----------



## moochedit (Jun 3, 2022)

magneze said:


> If the Queen was crowned in 1953 why is this year the Jubilee?


Think its because her dad died in 52?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jun 3, 2022)

magneze said:


> If the Queen was crowned in 1953 why is this year the Jubilee?



Coronations take time. The Archbishop of Canterbury didn't force his way into the hospital room and force the crown on her head ...Sadly, as that would have been hilarious.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 3, 2022)

magneze said:


> If the Queen was crowned in 1953 why is this year the Jubilee?



her reign as queen started at the moment that her father died, in 1952



Nine Bob Note said:


> Coronations take time. The Archbishop of Canterbury didn't force his way into the hospital room and force the crown on her head ...Sadly, as that would have been hilarious.



although that would be more efficient.

edward 8 never had a coronation before he quit the job, but he was still king for just under a year.  there are a handful of post boxes and public buildings that show E VIII R and the original deeds of mum-tat's house were signed in his name (the place was crown land before they built on it) - presume he had someone to do the actual signing for him, though.  and i think that stamps and coins with his picture on them did start to get issued.


----------



## two sheds (Jun 4, 2022)




----------



## Santino (Jun 4, 2022)

Santino said:


> If she remained in Windsor and plugged herself into machinery that extended her life indefinitely, like the Emperor in Warhammer 40K, I could at least respect that.
> 
> DotCommunist


----------



## steveseagull (Jun 4, 2022)

Has anyone got to the bottom of what happened to the Duke of Kent's ear?


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 5, 2022)

Queen already dead and embalmed confirmation:


----------



## kalidarkone (Jun 5, 2022)

rutabowa said:


> I think it will be in the next 24 hours


Bet?
Winning  to server fund?


----------



## teqniq (Jun 5, 2022)

So definitely not dead then. But this is interesting and to be fair very well done. Some people are seeing it as a coded message (it had not occurred to me but it is plausible) what with Paddington Bear being an undocumented migrant. Other interpretations may be contrived according to your levels of cynicism:


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 5, 2022)

teqniq said:


> So definitely not dead then. But this is interesting and to be fair very well done. *Some people are seeing it as a coded message *(it had not occurred to me but it is plausible) what with Paddington Bear being an undocumented migrant. Other interpretations may be contrived according to your levels of cynicism:





Yes, we call these people fucking lunatics


----------



## teqniq (Jun 5, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Yes, we call these people fucking lunatics


Tbh I really don't pay that much attention to Queen-related things but after a quick Google search the idea appears to be relatively mainstream:









						Six times the Queen sent hidden messages - Ukraine flowers and lockdown brooch
					

The Queen paid a subtle yet beautiful tribute to the people of Ukraine during her audience with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau earlier this week - and it's not the first time she's appeared to hae made secret messages during appearances




					www.mirror.co.uk


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 5, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Yes, we call these people fucking lunatics



TBF it's proof the Queen is CGI, I mean look at how Paddington films are made:









						Paddington: The Making of a Bear
					

Furry creatures aren't new in visual effects, but when they're the star of the show you know you need to be top of your game. Paddington provided Framestore's R&D team with plenty of technological challenges, and it wasn't just the famous bear's fur that needed attention – the team was involved...




					www.framestore.com
				




Presumably this is because she previously died.


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 5, 2022)

Lizards are well known for their hidden messages and shape shifting


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 5, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> TBF it's proof the Queen is CGI, I mean look at how Paddington films are made:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Also, CGI is short for corgi. Says it all, really.


----------



## Bingoman (Jun 5, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Has anyone got to the bottom of what happened to the Duke of Kent's ear?


What's wrong with his ear ?


----------



## steveseagull (Jun 5, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> What's wrong with his ear ?


He has got half his right ear missing


----------



## steveseagull (Jun 5, 2022)

There is no better clue that she is dead than this


----------



## brogdale (Jun 5, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> There is no better clue that she is dead than this



"Live"   



_Monarch Voyage_


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 5, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> There is no better clue that she is dead than this





Phoning it in and we pay her wages


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 5, 2022)

I reckon the flag waving masses on the Mall will be doing whatever classes as performative mourning in this country (don’t some cultures tear their hair out and throw dirt up in the air?) quite soon.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 5, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I reckon the flag waving masses on the Mall will be doing whatever classes as performative mourning in this country (don’t some cultures tear their hair out and throw dirt up in the air?) quite soon.


----------



## teqniq (Jun 5, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> There is no better clue that she is dead than this



Even more likely that it's a CGI Queen in the Paddington Bear piece then.


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 5, 2022)

brogdale said:


> "Live"
> 
> View attachment 325710
> 
> _Monarch Voyage_


They could have used one of those life sized cutouts off Amazon they only cost £50 they would have been much cheaper


----------



## brogdale (Jun 5, 2022)

This is entering DPRK territory, surely?


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 5, 2022)

Yeah come on, a fucking hologram. She's been dead for weeks


----------



## Bingoman (Jun 5, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> He has got half his right ear missing


Has he never notice


----------



## Raheem (Jun 5, 2022)

teqniq said:


> So definitely not dead then. But this is interesting and to be fair very well done. Some people are seeing it as a coded message (it had not occurred to me but it is plausible) what with Paddington Bear being an undocumented migrant. Other interpretations may be contrived according to your levels of cynicism:



Right at the end, the picture freezes and I hear a short burst of machine-gun fire.


----------



## PR1Berske (Jun 5, 2022)

Looking at that photo, it's Charles who looks worse. He's 73 years old, still not King, he's spent another big ticket weekend as a spectator. He must be aware that the celebration focussed only on his mother, not on the crown. He must be aware that it could all crash around him. He must know that the vase in his grasp is priceless and it's a very slippery floor...


----------



## Petcha (Jun 6, 2022)

She looks very very weak and thin.

I, for one, am getting on a plane to a non-commonwealth country the moment the glorified old dole bludger finally does the decent thing and meets her maker. These 4 days have been hellish in the UK. And that was just for 70 years of 'service'. This will be Diana x100 and there's no way I can cope with that.


----------



## stavros (Jun 6, 2022)

brogdale said:


> This is entering DPRK territory, surely?
> 
> View attachment 325747


I think you're overstating things. Over there huge crowds gather to worship their head of state, who got where they are from their father dying, whereas in the UK...


----------



## platinumsage (Jun 6, 2022)

The Queen hasn't been seen in public since the jubilee celebrations, which can only point to one thing...


----------



## souljacker (Jun 6, 2022)

Petcha said:


> She looks very very weak and thin.
> 
> I, for one, am getting on a plane to a non-commonwealth country the moment the glorified old dole bludger finally does the decent thing and meets her maker. These 4 days have been hellish in the UK. And that was just for 70 years of 'service'. This will be Diana x100 and there's no way I can cope with that.



I've barely noticed. 4 days off was the only affect it had on me and we should get that when she dies anyway.


----------



## spitfire (Jun 6, 2022)

If she died in the next 2 hours that would be funny.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jun 6, 2022)

spitfire said:


> If she died in the next 2 hours that would be funny.


I think she'll hold out just to tell Johnson to shut the door on his way out. If the fucker loses


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 6, 2022)

She’ll hold on to get another prime minister for her list


----------



## spitfire (Jun 6, 2022)

Gotta Catch Em All.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 6, 2022)

Petcha said:


> *She looks very very weak and thin.*
> 
> I, for one, am getting on a plane to a non-commonwealth country the moment the glorified old dole bludger finally does the decent thing and meets her maker. These 4 days have been hellish in the UK. And that was just for 70 years of 'service'. This will be Diana x100 and there's no way I can cope with that.




She's 96 or whatever, you basically just vanish onto skin and bone at that age.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 6, 2022)

Petcha said:


> She looks very very weak and thin.
> 
> I, for one, am getting on a plane to a non-commonwealth country the moment the glorified old dole bludger finally does the decent thing and meets her maker. These 4 days have been hellish in the UK. And that was just for 70 years of 'service'. This will be Diana x100 and there's no way I can cope with that.


No need to do that, order in pizza and binge on Netflix and Amazon prime


----------



## Yossarian (Jun 6, 2022)

It'd be funny if Johnson survived the vote only to discover that the queen has included her prime minister on the list of retainers she wishes to have sacrificed to serve her in the afterlife.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 6, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> The Queen hasn't been seen in public since the jubilee celebrations, which can only point to one thing...



She's filming on set for Paddington 3?


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 6, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> She's 96 or whatever, you basically just vanish onto skin and bone at that age.


Surely swan and truffles are quite high in nutrients


----------



## stavros (Jun 7, 2022)

I walked past my local undertakers earlier, and that had loads of jubilee tat up in their windows. The images of Brenda made me briefly wonder whether I'd missed something on the news.


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## PR1Berske (Jun 13, 2022)

It would appear that something has died looking at this photo from today.


----------



## Elpenor (Jun 13, 2022)

As of today she is now the second longest serving monarch ever, behind Louis XIV. Needs another 2 years or so to beat his record. Based on that picture she won’t make it. 

However judging from the picture she’s taken action to stop Charles getting his hands upon the crown by removing them!


----------



## srb7677 (Jun 13, 2022)

We will be certain to know all about it when she dies. There will be nothing else on TV and radio for weeks. I will switch off from news for a week or two at least.

When she dies I want to know. It is news. But I can be told all I need to know in two minutes. All the other hours of sycophantic shite I can do without.


----------



## stavros (Jun 13, 2022)

Length of reign is a pointless stat, because generally monarchs don't get challenged, and the ones who've been doing it for ages generally benefit from the early death of their predecessor.


----------



## spitfire (Jun 13, 2022)

She's looking rougher by the week.


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 13, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> As of today she is now the second longest serving monarch ever, behind Louis XIV. Needs another 2 years or so to beat his record. Based on that picture she won’t make it.
> 
> However judging from the picture she’s taken action to stop Charles getting his hands upon the crown by removing them!


Louis XIV was only 4 when he came to throne so he had a good head start on Brenda. I can't say or think King Louis without finding myself humming "I'm the King of the Swingers, a Jungle VIP, I've reached the top and had to stop and that's what bothering me"


----------



## elbows (Jun 13, 2022)

I dont think I can really come up with life expectancy predictions based on looks in this case. I had a great grandmother who made it to 103 and she didnt exactly look well in the last 10 years of her life.


----------



## pbsmooth (Jun 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> It would appear that something has died looking at this photo from today.


And now it's on camilla's head?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> It would appear that something has died looking at this photo from today.


that woman in the middle looks nothing like queen elizabeth ii

she is an impostor
and it's not a very convincing look alike for prince charles either


----------



## moochedit (Jun 13, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> that woman in the middle looks nothing like queen elizabeth ii
> View attachment 327079
> she is an impostor
> and it's not a very convincing look alike for prince charles either


Shed her skin


----------



## muscovyduck (Jun 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> It would appear that something has died looking at this photo from today.


Madame Tussauds?


----------



## T & P (Jun 13, 2022)

The very public and bitter feud between the darling in her eyes Andrew the Nonce, and William and Charles must be very stressing and a weight on Brenda’s old ticker. Just saying, like.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 13, 2022)

T & P said:


> The very public and bitter feud between the darling in her eyes Andrew the Nonce, and William and Charles must be very stressing and a weight on Brenda’s old ticker. Just saying, like.


Good


----------



## brogdale (Jun 13, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> And now it's on camilla's head?


They're all the rage these days...everyone's wearing them...


----------



## Dystopiary (Jun 13, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> that woman in the middle looks nothing like queen elizabeth ii
> View attachment 327079
> she is an impostor
> and it's not a very convincing look alike for prince charles either



That Paddington thing was recorded a while back I reckon.


----------



## Dystopiary (Jun 13, 2022)

State of the English flag on their sleeves, dickheads. Scotland and Wales would be well rid.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 14, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> That Paddington thing was recorded a while back I reckon.


Yeh I don't think that was the real Paddington either


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> They're all the rage these days...everyone's wearing them...
> 
> View attachment 327108


it's the sort of archaic get-up which he could wear on his way to the chopping block


----------



## two sheds (Jun 15, 2022)




----------



## Serene (Jun 15, 2022)

I recently read a biography of louis quatorze. One of the stories that struck me in it was this one. During the early stages of him renovating and increasing Versailles there was a large forest nearby. Inside this forest lived a kindly man, on his own in a humble shack. Over previous years many people had become lost in the forest or in danger or injured, and were helped by this kindly man and by all accounts he was a wonderful person. One day, a person on the Kings staff who had been helped by this kindly man mentioned the stories to Louis. Louis requested that he be shown this man and shown where he lived in the forest. He was shown. Louis had him executed.


----------



## Raheem (Jun 15, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> It would appear that something has died looking at this photo from today.


If farts looked like clouds.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 15, 2022)

brogdale said:


> They're all the rage these days...everyone's wearing them...
> 
> View attachment 327108



I'd be fuming in that get up


----------



## stavros (Jun 17, 2022)

Queen causes Covid.


----------



## nogojones (Jun 17, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Even more likely that it's a CGI Queen in the Paddington Bear piece then.


Totally. Paddington would refuse to work with the real queen.


----------



## stavros (Jun 19, 2022)

I watched The Naked Gun last night. She's made of hard stuff.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2022)

nogojones said:


> Totally. Paddington would refuse to work with the real queen.


Paddington would damn her for bring a feudal relic and, what's worse, a dreadful bore


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 19, 2022)

two sheds said:


> View attachment 327302


That's my tweet of 2022


----------



## Idris2002 (Jun 20, 2022)

two sheds said:


> View attachment 327302


And in the Republic next door, centenarians receive the President's Bounty, 100 spondulicks straight into their grubby paws from Michael D. himself.


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 20, 2022)

My Gran was quite looking forward to hers but didn't quite make it, a couple of the other residents did. They are very good quality I'll say that for them clearly not bought in bulk from Clintons.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Jun 23, 2022)

Serene said:


> I recently read a biography of louis quatorze. One of the stories that struck me in it was this one. During the early stages of him renovating and increasing Versailles there was a large forest nearby. Inside this forest lived a kindly man, on his own in a humble shack. Over previous years many people had become lost in the forest or in danger or injured, and were helped by this kindly man and by all accounts he was a wonderful person. One day, a person on the Kings staff who had been helped by this kindly man mentioned the stories to Louis. Louis requested that he be shown this man and shown where he lived in the forest. He was shown. Louis had him executed.



I am unsure of the point of this story, but I don't believe it. By which I mean that not only do I not believe the fairytale story of the kindly man in the forest who comes to the attention of the king, but I doubt that there is a biography of Louis Quatorze that claims this happened. I'm prepared to admit I'm wrong if someone can produce chapter and verse.


----------



## Serene (Jun 23, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I am unsure of the point of this story, but I don't believe it. By which I mean that not only do I not believe the fairytale story of the kindly man in the forest who comes to the attention of the king, but I doubt that there is a biography of Louis Quatorze that claims this happened. I'm prepared to admit I'm wrong if someone can produce chapter and verse.


It is in The Sun King by Nancy Mitford. I read it 6 months ago.









						Nancy Mitford - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				




I can assure you that it is in there.

The point of me posting the story was to give an example of why there shouldnt be a monarchy.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Jun 23, 2022)

OK, maybe it is there -- as the book isn't online, I can't check. But the story sounds awfully mythy, and reviews of Mitford's biographies do not give me the feeling that historical accuracy was high on her list.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 23, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> OK, maybe it is there -- as the book isn't online, I can't check. But the story sounds awfully mythy, and reviews of Mitford's biographies do not give me the feeling that historical accuracy was high on her list.


the book is online The Sun King : Mitford, Nancy, 1904-1973 : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 23, 2022)

an auld frondeur sans nom it appears


----------



## ouirdeaux (Jun 23, 2022)

Yes, I just found that bit. So a political enemy, which is a tad different from killing a nice forest dweller for shits and giggles.

Though either way, it's an odd thing to bring up as an example of why the monarchy is a Bad Thing. Monarchs with actual power have done cruel things, as indeed have many non-monarchs in positions of authority. This isn't terribly relevant to the question of retaining the current crop of parasites.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 23, 2022)

Serene said:


> The point of me posting the story was to give an example of why there shouldnt be a monarchy.


so not louis pissing away all of france's money on a great vanity project. not the wars he fought. not the revocation of the edict of nantes. just this one execution. it's utterly perverse to give this example when there are so many bigger and better ones.


----------



## smmudge (Jun 23, 2022)

The body double must have died too, couldn't find a new one with long enough hair so they've said the queen's had a haircut.


----------



## belboid (Jun 23, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> Yes, I just found that bit. So a political enemy, which is a tad different from killing a nice forest dweller for shits and giggles.
> 
> Though either way, it's an odd thing to bring up as an example of why the monarchy is a Bad Thing. Monarchs with actual power have done cruel things, as indeed have many non-monarchs in positions of authority. This isn't terribly relevant to the question of retaining the current crop of parasites.


The frondeurs weren’t political enemies.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Jun 23, 2022)

belboid said:


> The frondeurs weren’t political enemies.



Does the term not refer to members of various factions opposed to absolute monarchy?


----------



## UrbaneFox (Jun 23, 2022)

'The most extraordinary privilege of my life', says portrait painter, in 'photoshop on canvas' outrage. I've seen the one below it somewhere in the Bad Tattoos thread.









						Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's first official portrait released
					

The artist says he wanted to portray the couple as elegant and relaxed in the painting, now on public display.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## MickiQ (Jun 23, 2022)

I have one of the kids that a guy at the seaside painted for me years ago and he did a better job than whoever did the painting of Billy the Bald at the bottom of that article.


----------



## Serene (Jun 24, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> Yes, I just found that bit. So a political enemy, which is a tad different from killing a nice forest dweller for shits and giggles.
> 
> Though either way, it's an odd thing to bring up as an example of why the monarchy is a Bad Thing. Monarchs with actual power have done cruel things, as indeed have many non-monarchs in positions of authority. This isn't terribly relevant to the question of retaining the current crop of parasites.


He wasnt a political enemy. In the book I have there is a brief story about him, which includes several encounters with him before the king was told about him. He wasnt in any way a political enemy. It is an example of murder.


----------



## Serene (Jun 24, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> Yes, I just found that bit. So a political enemy, which is a tad different from killing a nice forest dweller for shits and giggles.
> 
> Though either way, it's an odd thing to bring up as an example of why the monarchy is a Bad Thing. Monarchs with actual power have done cruel things, as indeed have many non-monarchs in positions of authority. This isn't terribly relevant to the question of retaining the current crop of parasites.


The point of the story. Well, everyone is au fait with the general story of Louis. This one is a lesser known example which clearly shows a side to his character. The man who he had executed was a harmless and very helpful person. This shows unequivocally the woeful abuse of power of Louis. This wasnt an enemy or a rival or even a bad person. In the whole book this was one of the things that sickened me. There was no excuse for it.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jun 24, 2022)

Serene said:


> The point of the story. Well, everyone is au fait with the general story of Louis. This one is a lesser known example which clearly shows a side to his character. The man who he had executed was a harmless and very helpful person. This shows unequivocally the woeful abuse of power of Louis. This wasnt an enemy or a rival or even a bad person. In the whole book this was one of the things that sickened me. There was no excuse for it.





Serene said:


> He wasnt a political enemy. In the book I have there is a brief story about him, which includes several encounters with him before the king was told about him. He wasnt in any way a political enemy. It is an example of murder.


you haven't read this passage with particular attention, where it clearly says yer auld frondeur helped one group of lost courtiers. one group on one occasion. not several encounters.


----------



## maomao (Jul 9, 2022)

A Viz letter writer sums up the problem with the UK monarchy:


----------



## chainsawjob (Jul 10, 2022)

I took this pic yesterday on the theme of  what I think of royalty, hopefully it speaks for itself


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 15, 2022)

"Queen's 100th birthday celebration plans already underway."



meh


----------



## MickiQ (Jul 15, 2022)

Will she send herself a card?


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 15, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Will she send herself a card?



No she’ll be dead.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 15, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Will she send herself a card?



i think we will all have to...


----------



## stavros (Jul 16, 2022)

As the greedy cunt has two birthdays a year, didn't she pass that threshold quite some time ago?


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Jul 16, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> "Queen's 100th birthday celebration plans already underway."
> 
> 
> 
> meh



🤮


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 16, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> 🤮



indeed

if the old bat is showing signs of still being alive round then, think i'll go abroad for a week or two...


----------



## not a trot (Jul 16, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i think we will all have to...



Happy to. So long as she pays for all the fucking stamps.


----------



## two sheds (Jul 20, 2022)




----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2022)

two sheds said:


> View attachment 333471


The president of Ireland is paid €250,000 not €400,000. The president of iceland €207000. So 1) it's worse than Republic say and 2) they've always been useless wankers. It's a great shame that they are what passes for a republican movement in this country


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 20, 2022)

Wait until you hear how much we pay the Duke of Westminster for doing even less.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Wait until you hear how much we pay the Duke of Westminster for doing even less.


How much do we pay the duke of Westminster?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> How much do we pay the duke of Westminster?


platinumsage * taps watch *


----------



## platinumsage (Jul 20, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> platinumsage * taps watch *



Whatever he earns from his estate, given that in the post above "we pay" Charles £22 million from the Duchy of Cornwall, which is "ours" just as much as the Grosvenor Estate etc is.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Whatever he earns from his estate, given that in the post above "we pay" Charles £22 million from the Duchy of Cornwall, which is "ours" just as much as the Grosvenor Estate etc is.


Oh right, I thought you were going to name the amount of public money that finds its way into the grosvenor coffers


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 28, 2022)




----------



## stavros (Jul 28, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> View attachment 334950


Was she watching Sunak vs Truss from the other night?


----------



## Indeliblelink (Jul 28, 2022)

stavros said:


> Was she watching Sunak vs Truss from the other night?


Think she's just seen that #PrinceOfPegging is trending on Twitter.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 28, 2022)

Indeliblelink said:


> Think she's just seen that #PrinceOfPegging is trending on Twitter.



and the thought of him actually hanging his own laundry out on the line was all a bit much for her...


----------



## Epona (Aug 27, 2022)

Apparently the ridiculous kissing hands thing to appoint the next PM thing is going to involve everyone travelling to Balmoral because she's not up to travel.


----------



## brogdale (Aug 27, 2022)

Epona said:


> Apparently the ridiculous kissing hands thing to appoint the next PM thing is going to involve everyone travelling to Balmoral because she's not up to travel.


/ might defrost


----------



## moochedit (Aug 27, 2022)

Epona said:


> Apparently the ridiculous kissing hands thing to appoint the next PM thing is going to involve everyone travelling to Balmoral because she's not up to travel.


Kissing hands? Wtf?   Does she pin a "hand of the king" badge on them GOT style?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Aug 27, 2022)

Any news?

I’m going to be away for a couple of weeks, if someone could update the thread if anything happens, that would be great


----------



## MickiQ (Aug 27, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Any news?
> 
> I’m going to be away for a couple of weeks, if someone could update the thread if anything happens, that would be great


I'm pretty sure that if Brenda pops her clogs in the next couple of weeks there is nowhere on the surface of the planet where it will not be news


----------



## moochedit (Aug 27, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Any news?
> 
> I’m going to be away for a couple of weeks, if someone could update the thread if anything happens, that would be great


Yes because you wouldn't hear about it anywhere else


----------



## moochedit (Aug 27, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> I'm pretty sure that if Brenda pops her clogs in the next couple of weeks there is nowhere on the surface of the planet where it will not be news


I heard about phil the greek popping his clogs from a bbc news app alert. Pretty sure that will be how i hear about the queens death when it finally happens. Unless i happen to be watching tv at the time. I will be amazed if its from this thread.


----------



## Pickman's model (Aug 27, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> I'm pretty sure that if Brenda pops her clogs in the next couple of weeks there is nowhere on the surface of the planet where it will not be news


Clipperton Island
Ambarchik, sakha republic
Most of england

Old woman dies is never really news


----------



## SysOut (Aug 27, 2022)

The moment she dies, everyone has to shout "Long Live The King" as if we'd always had a king.
She will be the "late" queen.
I remember that from my great-aunts talking about the late king - George VI - but also the late queen, who was Queen Mary.
Not to be confused with a tory politician.


----------



## two sheds (Aug 27, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Pretty sure that will be how i hear about the queens death when it finally happens. Unless i happen to be watching tv at the time.


will they be live streaming it?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 27, 2022)

SysOut said:


> I remember that from my great-aunts talking about the late king - George VI - but also the late queen, who was Queen Mary.



for about a year 1952-53, there were three queens of england living - queen mary (george v's widow), queen elizabeth (the queen mother - george vi's widow) and queen elizabeth ii (the queen rather than a queen)


----------



## Dystopiary (Aug 27, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Clipperton Island
> Ambarchik, sakha republic
> Most of england
> 
> Old woman dies is never really news


North Sentinel Island...


----------



## stavros (Aug 27, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Kissing hands? Wtf?


----------



## SysOut (Aug 27, 2022)

stavros said:


> View attachment 339903


The mafia modelled themselves on royalty.
So, embarrassing.

I saw Jonathan Miller's production at the ENO of Rigoletto in 1982 in which he changed it from being about an italian prince to being about a mafioso.
It was great 



> Verdi: Rigoletto
> (Jonathan Miller, ENO, 1982)
> _This Mafiosi Rigoletto became the template for a whole raft of similar updatings, none of which have come close to matching its sharp-eyed detail and sheer dramatic panache._


 The Guardian



> Rigoletto at the ENO: A look at the iconic production through the years
> Jonathan Miller struck gold in 1982 when he transformed Verdi's masterpiece


 Evening Standard (with photos)

Unfortunately can't find any articles from 1982.


----------



## bluescreen (Aug 27, 2022)

SysOut said:


> The mafia modelled themselves on royalty.
> So, embarrassing.
> 
> I saw Jonathan Miller's production at the ENO of Rigoletto in 1982 in which he changed it from being about an italian prince to being about a mafioso.
> ...


I saw that too! Terrific production. IIRC the Duke puts a coin in a jukebox to get _La donna è mobile. _


----------



## SysOut (Aug 27, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> I saw that too! Terrific production. IIRC the Duke puts a coin in a jukebox to get _La donna è mobile. _


What I remember most was the opening scene with the bar - and, of course,  that the whole production seemed to fit the plot better than the original medieval setting - which was imposed by the italian censure because of the prohibition of depicting the murder of a noble in modern times - I think I got that info from the printed programme.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 28, 2022)

Epona said:


> Apparently the ridiculous kissing hands thing to appoint the next PM thing is going to involve everyone travelling to Balmoral because she's not up to travel.



Idle old bat, notice she can flit between Windsor, Norfolk and Scotland whenever she wants.


----------



## Raheem (Aug 28, 2022)

Hopefully she won't be able to remember what it was she was supposed to ask Truss to do.


----------



## SysOut (Aug 28, 2022)

She is the boss. The UK is still ruled by the aristocrats who go to the same schools, parties, weekend country houses and so. Their is a loyalty to the crown there which the government doesn't get. 
Every week Truss will have to visit the head mistress to give a report and get instructions.
Some cabinet ministers and others will be made members of the Privy Council, whether they like it or not.
There, also secrecy rules:


> You do swear by Almighty God to be a true and faithful Servant unto the Queen's Majesty, as one of Her Majesty's Privy Council.
> You will not know or understand of any manner of thing to be attempted, done, or spoken against Her Majesty's Person, Honour, Crown, or Dignity Royal, but you will lett and withstand the same to the uttermost of your Power, and either cause it to be revealed to Her Majesty Herself, or to such of Her Privy Council as shall advertise Her Majesty of the same.
> You will, in all things to be moved, treated, and debated in Council, faithfully and truly declare your Mind and Opinion, according to your Heart and Conscience; and will keep secret all Matters committed and revealed unto you, or that shall be treated of secretly in Council.
> And if any of the said Treaties or Counsels shall touch any of the Counsellors, you will not reveal it unto him, but will keep the same until such time as, by the Consent of Her Majesty, or of the Council, Publication shall be made thereof.
> ...


wiki
Tony Benn didn't want to be a member, but was told he had no choice. He then said that he refused to take the oath, but was told he didn't have to - he was still bound by it - as if he had taken it.

The Privy Council certainy has powers, which are played down, but the most important matter is the power or function of people who are members of it.

The powers and responsibilty lie with them.

Total deniablity, discretion  - or if you wish, all liabilities to the state have been reduced to a minimum. Everything is done  as if it were the initiative of someone else.

Good material for conspiracy theorists, of course. 

But the power is undeniable as is shown by important state institutions' independence of the government - mainly those of the defence of the realm - surprise, surprise 

Parliament is deemed independent in the Bill of Rights.
"Deemed" for the sake of liability.

But, when necessary, the monarch can flex its muscles. Thus the beginning of the "special relationship" with the USA can be traced back to the Trent Affair when both the UK and USA governments were prepared to goto war in 1861 - but then Prince Albert, stepped in...


> Then came the far-sighted action of Prince Albert. It will be remembered that he was not only the devoted husband of the Queen, but one of her most trusted counsellors. He examined the somewhat peremptory dispatch which the British government had prepared to send to the United States. His mind was impressed with the warlike nature of the crisis, and perhaps also with the horror of shedding more fraternal blood than was already being poured out in our then divided but now happily united country¹. He suggested in a letter which he prepared for the Queen the intimation of a belief in the good intentions of the United States Government ; that she would have liked to see an expression of a hope that the Federal naval officer had acted without authority, but that if he had acted with it he must have misapprehended his instructions, and that it was believed that after due consideration the United States would spontaneously surrender the prisoners and make a suitable apology for the breach of international law that had been committed.





> We can see now the gracious Prince, on the last working morning of his life, an invalid, scarcely able to hold his pen, writing his kindly comment on the draft and submitting it to the Queen for her approval. Queen Victoria, always a friend of the American people, makes a few slight changes in the text before it is sent to the government. The ideas which are contained in the draft are accepted in the right spirit by Lord Palmerston, the Prime Minister, and incorporated in a new dispatch which is prepared by Lord Russell, the Minister of Foreign Affairs. The dispatch is delivered in Washington by Lord Lyons, the British Minister there, whose forbearance up to that time has saved trouble, and whose courtesy now smooths the way for Mr. Seward, the American Secretary of State. President Lincoln and his Cabinet meet, and the case is laid before them. The President is a true lover of peace. Up to this time he has been publicly non-committal, but he is one of a few Federal leaders who think that a mistake has been made. The decision is reached that in accordance with long-established American views on the points of law raised the captives should be surrendered.



The Century of Anglo-American Peace

[1] or concerned about the safety of crown assets in then British North America (later becoming the kingdom Canada)


----------



## stavros (Sep 1, 2022)

The lazy arsehole can't be bothered to head back to Buck House to anoint Truss, "a break with tradition" apparently.

Mogg must spitting feathers at this breaking of protocol, and will surely call for her resignation soon.


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 1, 2022)

moochedit said:


> I will be amazed if its from this thread.


It might be for me. I've lately stopped reading the news from other sources. Everything is shite and depressing.

Edit: is there a new pm yet?   who fucking cares anyway. Different day, same shit.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 1, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> It might be for me. I've lately stopped reading the news from other sources. Everything is shite and depressing.
> 
> Edit: is there a new pm yet?   who fucking cares anyway. Different day, same shit.


Yes Jacob Rees Mogg was sworn in as the new pm by King Andrew earlier today. Was live on most channels.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 6, 2022)

Anyway


----------



## moochedit (Sep 6, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Anyway



Weekend at bernies


----------



## moochedit (Sep 6, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Anyway



Well would you want to meet Liz Truss? She wouldn't notice the difference!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 6, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Anyway



do many of the royal family have that amount of hair on the back of their hands?


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 6, 2022)

I think the waxwork thing is a load of conspiracy theory bunkum.

It is quite clear she has had taxidermy done.


----------



## Duncan2 (Sep 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> do many of the royal family have that amount of hair on the back of their hands?


Probably.According to James Naughtie the putative PM is expected to brush the back of the regal hand with his/her lips.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> do many of the royal family have that amount of hair on the back of their hands?


She needs a stint at St Clabberts. At least a number 5 going on there.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> do many of the royal family have that amount of hair on the back of their hands?



I wouldn't be surprised, all the inbreeding leaves them at greater risk of conditions caused by recessive genes like haemophilia, lycanthropy, etc.


----------



## tommers (Sep 6, 2022)

that's mould or something?  also her fingers are different colours to her hands.  She's got three different colours from the top of her hands to her fingertips.  Can't be long now.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 6, 2022)

tommers said:


> mould


 
Past her use by date?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 6, 2022)

tommers said:


> that's mould or something?  also her fingers are different colours to her hands.  She's got three different colours from the top of her hands to her fingertips.  Can't be long now.


Jelly and ice cream when the queen dies


----------



## stavros (Sep 6, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> She needs a stint at St Clabberts. At least a number 5 going on there.


Without makeup:


----------



## stavros (Sep 6, 2022)

At her age she must be quite tired, after bending over for Truss' ring-kissing.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 6, 2022)

Why hasn't the Queen died yet


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Why hasn't the Queen died yet


She's quiet quitting.


----------



## elbows (Sep 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Why hasn't the Queen died yet



If we'd been around a long time ago we'd have spent well over a decade waiting for Churchill to die. And he'd have teased us with multiple strokes although some of them were covered up initially.


----------



## tommers (Sep 6, 2022)

elbows said:


> he'd have teased us with multiple strokes


Snort.


----------



## Duncan2 (Sep 6, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Why hasn't the Queen died yet


its fair to say she looks peaky if that is her and not a facsimile in wax.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 6, 2022)

elbows said:


> If we'd been around a long time ago we'd have spent well over a decade waiting for Churchill to die. And he'd have teased us with multiple strokes although some of them were covered up initially.


Yeh but I've been waiting all my life for the Queen to die


----------



## tim (Sep 6, 2022)

Epona said:


> Apparently the ridiculous kissing hands thing to appoint the next PM thing is going to involve everyone travelling to Balmoral because she's not up to travel.


Edward VII had more style. He didn't make his Prime Ministers come to dreary Balmoral. They had to go to the fleshpots of Biarritz to kiss his hand.

Anyway, given unhealthy look of Brenda's mitts she'll have poisoned the lips of both Johnson &Truss, so we'll have double state funeral as a warm up for London Bridge going down


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 6, 2022)

tim said:


> Edward VII had more style. He didn't make his Prime Ministers come to dreary Balmoral. They had to go to the fleshpots of Biarritz to kiss his hand.
> 
> Anyway, given unhealthy look of Brenda's mitts she'll have poisoned the lips of both Johnson &Truss, so we'll have double state funeral as a warm up for London Bridge going down


Why can't we have a trio?


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 6, 2022)

Looks like they’ve unhooked her from whatever drip or driver for the kissing of the ring.


----------



## tommers (Sep 6, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


> Looks like they’ve unhooked her from whatever drip or driver for the kissing of the ring. View attachment 341323


Ah yeah you're right. That's what it is.


----------



## stavros (Sep 7, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Why hasn't the Queen died yet


Wait 'til she hears that she's got to ennoble Dorries.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 7, 2022)

stavros said:


> Wait 'til she hears that she's got to ennoble Dorries.


if that doesn't do for her then nothing will


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 7, 2022)

The queen to miss privy council meeting









						Queen postpones Privy Council meeting after doctors 'advise her to rest'
					

The latest advice does not involve a hospital stay for the 96-year-old monarch, who has ongoing mobility issues.




					news.sky.com


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 7, 2022)

Screwed she is, screwed. Will they ship her back to Windsor to cark it or just leave her in Aberdeen?


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 7, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> The queen to miss privy council meeting
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It’s not sounding good if she has to _schedule_ trips to the privy, never mind cancel them!


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 7, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s not sounding good if she has to _schedule_ trips to the privy, never mind cancel them!


I think she was doing over zoom because she is at Balmoral,


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 7, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> I think she was doing over zoom because she is at Balmoral,


🤯


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 7, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Yeh but I've been waiting all my life for the Queen to die



Surely you could have found something more interesting to do.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 7, 2022)

Just had a bet with wife. What happens first, Queenie dies, or South East Water finish laying a new pipe outside our house.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 7, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Just had a bet with wife. What happens first, Queenie dies, or South East Water finish laying a new pipe outside our house.


Not the pipe.


----------



## tim (Sep 7, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Just had a bet with wife. What happens first, Queenie dies, or South East Water finish laying a new pipe outside our house.



This thread has been full of fevered excitement about her imminent demise for over five years. Not only will that pipe be laid first but she'll still be around for the completion of Highspeed 2. At the very minimum, at least another six Tory Prime-Ministers will kiss hands.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 7, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> Surely you could have found something more interesting to do.


I've been multitasking


----------



## Raheem (Sep 7, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Just had a bet with wife. What happens first, Queenie dies, or South East Water finish laying a new pipe outside our house.


(c) the apocalypse


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 7, 2022)

tim said:


> This thread has been full of fevered excitement about her imminent demise for over five years. Not only will that pipe be laid first but she'll still be around for the completion of Highspeed 2. At the very minimum, at least another six Tory Prime-Ministers will kiss hands.


Kiss rings


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 7, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Yeh but I've been waiting all my life for the Queen to die


And here I was feeling guilty yesterday about wasting my life on Twitter! 😉


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 7, 2022)

it doesn't say whether she does the breakfasts...


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

There are rumblings it’s happened (again)


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

Yep


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm hearing this too...


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Just breaking on sky news now under medical supervision


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Brief statement read out in the commons...


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Queen under medical supervision at Balmoral
					

Prince Charles is there with his son Prince William and other senior royals.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Queen under medical supervision at Balmoral
> 
> 
> Prince Charles is there with his son Prince William and other senior royals.
> ...


Doesn't sound good


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

First deathlist hit of 2022?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

If family members have been informed does that mean she close to death or are her doctor just concerned for her health


----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

Literally just getting on a flight so no news for a couple of hours. Mind you, was (also) in France when the Queen Mother died and Diana obvs popped her clogs there so...


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

3 day weekend?


----------



## nogojones (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> 3 day weekend?


At least. This is the big one


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Truss capped her lifespan.


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)

I was enjoying Bargain Hunt before I was rudely interrupted by what is now a stream of fluff from BBC News.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

just had one final prime ministerial handover in her


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Sue said:


> Literally just getting on a flight so no news for a couple of hours. Mind you, was (also) in France when the Queen Mother died and Diana obvs popped her clogs there so...


You need to go to France more often


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)

Weird to think that the first Prime Minister she met in an official role as Queen was Winston Churchill.

It's like she's been around forever!


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

Truss had Covid? 😷


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> I was enjoying Bargain Hunt before I was rudely interrupted by what is now a stream of fluff from BBC News.


Oooohhh!!!!


----------



## not a trot (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> I was enjoying Bargain Hunt before I was rudely interrupted by what is now a stream of fluff from BBC News.


Me too. I want to know what that tape measure sold for.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

im leaving the fucking country. it was bad enough when phil died.


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> I was enjoying Bargain Hunt before I was rudely interrupted by what is now a stream of fluff from BBC News.


Significant to interrupt programming.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Doesn't sound good


It sounds fantastic!


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> It's like she's been around forever!


Most of us were born after she became queen. Maybe sas remembers the before time.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> just had one final prime ministerial handover in her



meeting truss would problem be the last straw for most of us


----------



## Saunders (Sep 8, 2022)

Truss, in the drawing room, with a handshake.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

My, she is looking very unwell now


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

I text my mum about it she said, "You'd want to die too if you had to meet Boris Johnson and Lizz Truss in the same day."


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)

Hearing the presenters on the BBC blustering away trying to find something to say when there is absolutely nothing to add is excruciating. 

Bring back Bargain Hunt and come back when you've got some actual news, FFS.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Doesn't sound good


Truss the vampire drained her life force.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 8, 2022)

sounds like it won't be long now


----------



## angusmcfangus (Sep 8, 2022)

The lizards are gathering!


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Does liz truss become queen now?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Just a thought I wonder if Harry has been informed yet?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

So 8AM tomorrow  then ?


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Wikipedia editors standing ready to update their tenses as soon as the announcement is made.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

She probably looked around and thought , what a shithole my domain is now and my family are twats- might as well Chuck in the towel


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

Rapid rapid decline come on liz let's make the beginning of the truss era fucking epic


----------



## Sasaferrato (Sep 8, 2022)

For anyone who is under seventy, she has been Queen for all of their life. She became Queen the year I was born.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> So 8AM tomorrow  then ?


I think the wait til 8am thing only applies if it happens late at night. We heard about phil about 11am iirc.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

Sasaferrato said:


> For anyone who is under seventy, she has been Queen for all of their life. She became Queen the year I was born.




And?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Wikipedia editors standing ready to update their tenses as soon as the announcement is made.


Wiki race


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 8, 2022)

Have they fucked up the telly for this then? At least wait til she croaks.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Nature of the BBC commentary adds to the sense that this is the moment they have long planned for. The presenters are choosing their words very carefully and sound nervous about saying the wrong thing. They are practicing sombre tones. Its all very wooden, a bit like listening to the state broadcaster many decades ago.

'Charles and Camilla' are heading there.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

This may sound like a bit late in the day for this now,but am surprised she did not make a Regency for Charles?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> I text my mum about it she said, "You'd want to die too if you had to meet Boris Johnson and Lizz Truss in the same day."


Probably faking her death to avoid seeing truss again


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Charles and William on their way up there, sounds pretty final.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> I was enjoying Bargain Hunt before I was rudely interrupted by what is now a stream of fluff from BBC News.


FFS. I hate this country sometimes


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

It's on the Radio 4 news now....game on.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Just spotted Nicholas Wichell getting a quick trim at the local Kurdish barbers and then he ran into a waiting Addison Lee  car


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

Getting excited


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Stand by for TV to be cancelled for a week


----------



## pesh (Sep 8, 2022)

_tunes into BBC Radio 1 Dance_
They know how to announce this sort of thing.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Just spotted Nicholas Wichell getting a quick trim at the local Kurdish barbers and then he ran into a waiting Addison Lee  car


He was talking excitedly to Jenny Bond as he leapt into the car


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

I said to my wife this morning that I bet The Queen will be dead before the end of the year - looking like I should have said "day" instead...


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

pesh said:


> _tunes into BBC Radio 1 Dance_
> They know how to announce this sort of thing.



Craig Charles starting now on 6, just the man for the job...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Where’s my day off ?


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Stand by for TV to be cancelled for a week


I've got srs 3 of the boys, all the new tits dragons and tolkien shows and king of the hill re-runs to keep me going. Hank Hill is the only monarch I recognize


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

According to the BBC Prince Charles is now with her


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 8, 2022)

Oh ffs I've not been watching the news because of all the Liz Truss bollocks so have been watching "Moonfall" (really shit but enjoyable shit) so have missed the solemn gravitas!!


----------



## nogojones (Sep 8, 2022)

Sasaferrato said:


> For anyone who is under seventy, she has been Queen for all of their life. She became Queen the year I was born.


You getting your Elizabeths mixed up here?


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

> According to the BBC Prince Charles is now with her


Pillow in hand?


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

What does "under medical supervision" mean anyway? It could be anything from having a chat about eating too much cake once a month, to someone standing over her continuously listening to her heartbeat.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Kings Christmas speech this ChristmaS?


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 8, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> I've got srs 3 of the boys, all the new tits dragons and tolkien shows and king of the hill re-runs to keep me going. Hank Hill is the only monarch I recognize


I hope that's not legal streaming. I imagine they will keep the titles up but whatever you click will bring up the deathwatch.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Medical supervision = speedball


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

What should we be panic buying? Maybe there'll be a mug shortage?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> What does "under medical supervision" mean anyway? It could be anything from having a chat about eating too much cake once a month, to someone standing over her continuously listening to her heartbeat.


 
They’ve moved her from the ambulance to a hospital corridor


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

magneze said:


> Pillow in hand?


all the best wank fantasies go horribly wrong


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

Will her death be announced on the 6.00 news this evening?


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> What does "under medical supervision" mean anyway? It could be anything from having a chat about eating too much cake once a month, to someone standing over her continuously listening to her heartbeat.


Probably just the terminology they agreed on as how they would describe 'the end' in the media.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> According to the BBC Prince Charles is now with her


As he is with all of us.

No, wait, that's Allah


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> What should we be panic buying? Maybe there'll be a mug shortage?



There'll be no shortage of facking mugs.


----------



## Santino (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> What should we be panic buying? Maybe there'll be a mug shortage?


The opposite, new mugs will be flooding the market.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Will her death be announced on the 6.00 news this evening?


When she does die it will on the news forever.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Maybe there'll be a mug shortage?



Not on the television this week


----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> You need to go to France more often


Tbf I've been to France many times and nothing has happened so...


----------



## Poot (Sep 8, 2022)

My dearest hope is that everyone I know has a Netflix account.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Fucking hell. What a time to depart if true. Cliff Richard is just about to release an album of Xmas favourites.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 8, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Stand by for TV to be cancelled for a week


Who on earth still watches live broadcast telly?


----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

Poot said:


> My dearest hope is that everyone I know has a Netflix account.


Thoughts and prayers for those who don't.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

Santino said:


> The opposite, new mugs will be flooding the market.


buy shares in Franklin Mint


----------



## Cloo (Sep 8, 2022)

Very glad to be living in a time of streaming services - can you imagine if the Queen died and you had to sit through days on nothing but solemn music and tributes for days on end on the telly?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> According to the BBC Prince Charles is now with her


 Clocked out of work early I expect.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

Pirate Bay lessons available for those who don't want to pay for Netflix


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Who in earth still watches live broadcast telly?


Me when Netflix have to get rid of Stsr Trek Deep Space Nine, to be honest.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Has she held on long enough to avoid BoJo doing her eulogy? Frankly, who would blame her?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Fucking hell. What a time to depart if true. Cliff Richard is just about to release an album of Xmas favourites.


Stretching his wings

No, wait, that's the Angel of Death


----------



## Poot (Sep 8, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Who in earth still watches live broadcast telly?


My parents. I'm going to have to do some sort of mercy dash with a streaming service of some kind.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Fucking hell. What a time to depart if true. Cliff Richard is just about to release an album of Xmas favourites.


mistletoe and whine


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

This just in.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Clocked out of work early I expect.



Walked out more like. He’s eyed up a new job


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

Looking forward to all the royals trying not to be in photos with the sweaty nonce. And Charles not letting him wear his favourite uniform to the funeral


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 8, 2022)

I bet Jim’ll Paint It has a good tea towel design ready to go 😎


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Heidi is an unimpeachable source btw.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 8, 2022)

Poot said:


> My parents. I'm going to have to do some sort of mercy dash with a streaming service of some kind.


Pop to a chazza for a Morse box set? 👍🏼


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm taking my tent down to Westminster Abbey this afternoon, and will be camping out for the next few weeks.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

one day of truss was enough to overwhelm her reptilian constitution


----------



## nastyned (Sep 8, 2022)

What's the bank holiday situation? I can't remember.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Mrs o87 is a royalist (I swear you have to be of you're a primary school teacher) so is likely to be sad about it when I get home, so I'm practicing my 'concerned face'.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> Truss capped her lifespan.


This.
Must get it out there that Truss has killed the Queen.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

nastyned said:


> What's the bank holiday situation? I can't remember.


at the moment none till xmas. but the situation may change


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

nastyned said:


> What's the bank holiday situation? I can't remember.


September does need a bank holiday


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> This.
> Must get it out there that Truss has killed the Queen.


i don't know why you want to big truss up


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Grauniad says she's 'under medical supervision'.  That sort of sounds like her GP is just saying 'I'd lay off the rock climbing, contact sports and talking to liz truss if I were you'.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> Mrs o87 is a royalist (I swear you have to be of you're a primary school teacher) so is likely to be sad about it when I get home, so I'm practicing my 'concerned face'.


you'll never wipe that large smirk off your face in time


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

Liz's big plan, outstaged

by Liz's big plan


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 8, 2022)

Idris2002 said:


> Truss the vampire drained her life force.


Did you see her veined hand after it had been 'kissed'?


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> one day of truss was enough to overwhelm her reptilian constitution


Mammal power!


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> This.
> Must get it out there that Truss has killed the Queen.


'Meet liz truss and die'


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

or..directing the embalmers


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> one day of truss was enough to overwhelm her reptilian constitution


Just remembered about Truss's youthful republican views. Bound to get the conspiraloons going!


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Live on Sky News she keeps coming outside and sitting down, over and over and over. Can't be good for her.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341546
> 
> or..directing the embalmers


Imagine, if you were the mortician you wouldn't know which was the corpse


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> This.
> Must get it out there that Truss has killed the Queen.


Beat me to it


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

Some expert on R4 saying she's "the most famous and admired woman on the planet". She's not even in the top 50. Beyonce, Rihanna, Greta Thunberg, Michelle Obama, Sanna Marin.......maybe the queen sneaks in above Anneka Rice,


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> mistletoe and whine



Megs and Harry are here, conveniently.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

meanwhile at the telegraph









						28 interesting things you didn't know about the Queen
					

In memory of Her Majesty The Queen - which of these facts did you know about the monarch?




					www.telegraph.co.uk


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Wikipedia editors standing ready to update their tenses as soon as the announcement is made.





Kaka Tim said:


> Does liz truss become queen now?



She's already queen of her vampire hive.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

The carefully choreographed statements now include the archbishop of Canterbury going on about gods presence.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Some expert on R4 saying she's "the most famous and admired woman on the planet". She's not even in the top 50. Beyonce, Rihanna, Greta Thunberg, Michelle Obama, Sanna Marin.......maybe the queen sneaks in above Anneka Rice,



Well, the Crown has done wonders for her public image. This better not fuck with the cricket though. There's already rain forecast and i assume this will result in more delay.


----------



## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)

I’m not sure I can stand this. Going to have to spend even more time on here.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

DAY SINCE LAST ACCIDENT MONARCH
25,677  1


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

It's my f-i-l funeral next week. One of the people coming is a staunch royalist. She thinks the Queen is a wonderful, kind, and generous (!) woman. It'll be bad enough going to f-i-l funeral without Brenda shuffling off.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

It’s a lottery rollover as well I think. I might Chuck a few quid into it this weekend. Luck comes in bunches apparently


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Just remembered about Truss's youthful republican views. Bound to get the conspiraloons going!


Deep deep deep undercover. Newfound respect


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

Winot said:


> I’m not sure I can stand this. Going to have to spend even more time on here.



Basically any non-commonwealth country









						Skyscanner | Find the cheapest flights fast: save time, save money!
					

Compare millions of flights, as well as car hire and hotels worldwide - for free! Skyscanner is the travel search site for savvy travellers.



					www.skyscanner.net
				




I'm opting for Thailand. It's rainy season. But gotta be better than this. It's gonna be like a turbo-charged Di fest


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

If she corks it today she'll share a deathday with Mao Zedong.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

going on holiday abroad next week, looks like perfect timing


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

The presenter was a bit nervous when reporting yesterdays Privy council cancellation on one of the main BBC news broadcasts yesterday, I commented to my mother about it at the time and probably should have read even more into it at the time.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> If she corks it today she'll share a deathday with Mao Zedong.


let a hundred flowers bloom


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Ah fuck. I’m spitzbergen from tomorrow. Will miss the weeping and wailing outside buck house


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

I’m leaving the country for a late holiday tomorrow for ten days. Might have picked a good time.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

All newsreaders now wearing black


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> The carefully choreographed statements now include the archbishop of Canterbury going on about gods presence.


Gone to Balmoral too? Must be busy.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> All newsreaders now wearing black


that's a sure sign of good news a-coming


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

I wonder what arrangements the BBC have with the palace? Is it "tell us when you think she's got less than an hour or two left" - they can't keep waffling indefinitely.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

No Darth News on the Beeb yet. Must be in a helicopter


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341546
> 
> or..directing the embalmers


Readying the pillow.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Basically any non-commonwealth country
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thailand where you can be arrested for saying anything bad about their own king?

It'll be news elsewhere (not 24 hours constant i'll grant you) and you will have to put up with locals telling you how sorry they are for your loss!


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Some expert on R4 saying she's "the most famous and admired woman on the planet". She's not even in the top 50. Beyonce, Rihanna, Greta Thunberg, Michelle Obama, Sanna Marin.......maybe the queen sneaks in above Anneka Rice,


Bet Madonna is fucking livid.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

I despise the monarchy, and I have no particular affection for this particular representative, but I can't understand why anyone would choose to celebrate her death. It's hardly going to change anything.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> I wonder what arrangements the BBC have with the palace? Is it "tell us when you think she's got less than an hour or two left" - they can't keep waffling indefinitely.


they've been in waffling training for this for years


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I despise the monarchy, and I have no particular affection for this particular representative, but I can't understand why anyone would choose to celebrate her death. It's hardly going to change anything.


yeh. so i don't know why anyone would object to someone celebrating her demise.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Wonder if they'd turned the heating off to save a few quid? The price cap came too late for Liz.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> you'll never wipe that large smirk off your face in time


I'll just say it was a stroke - which would work on both points.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> I'll just say it was a stroke - which would work on both points.


a stroke of good fortune


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

So what is the likely time it will be announced? I assume the main possible times will be 6pm or 9am


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 8, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I despise the monarchy, and I have no particular affection for this particular representative, but I can't understand why anyone would choose to celebrate her death. It's hardly going to change anything.


Probably one for the unpopular opinions thread, but I agree.
But the fuss being made in the media needs to be toned down.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Can she pop her clogs back  in London rather than Scotland ?


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

When do we get some new King Charles money?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Reckon TeamTruss will be well pissed off; this could certainly sink the 'bounce'.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> When do we get some new King Charles money?


the presses are already turning


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Reckon TeamTruss will be well pissed off; this could certainly sink the 'bounce'.


drop her from the top of number 10 and watch her bounce


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I despise the monarchy, and I have no particular affection for this particular representative, but I can't understand why anyone would choose to celebrate her death. It's hardly going to change anything.


Yes it does change things


----------



## starfish (Sep 8, 2022)

The Huns getting humped 4-0 for the second time in 5 days wont have helped.


----------



## Ranbay (Sep 8, 2022)

Day off work init....


----------



## BassJunkie (Sep 8, 2022)

I guess I'm not the first to think it'll be hilarious if the presence of Johnson and Truss is what finished her off.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Reckon TeamTruss will be well pissed off; this could certainly sink the 'bounce'.


Not sure about that tbh, tidal wave of cultural conservatism incoming


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

starfish said:


> The Huns getting humped 4-0 for the second time in 5 days wont have helped.


the last time this happened was in 1952, just before...


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

If she can only hang on for 3 more days we can have extra conspiraloonery about 9/11. Maybe some grainy photos of lizards scaling the walls of Balmoral.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Fuck it. I am going to pull a long term sickie off the beck of this. I might be able to get a few months off for grief. I only got a week for  my dad, so I’m owed tons


----------



## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Reckon TeamTruss will be well pissed off; this could certainly sink the 'bounce'.


Nah it’ll prolong it - most people love all the hand wringing and solemnity that Truss’ll be doing.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

rumours that virgins near balmoral have been ordered to donate blood have been denied by the royal household


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Just switched over to the ITV coverage. What the hell is Peston wearing?


----------



## ChrisD (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> I wonder what arrangements the BBC have with the palace? Is it "tell us when you think she's got less than an hour or two left" - they can't keep waffling indefinitely.


One of my earliest memories is the protracted last days of Winston Churchill... The radio news led for several days with what WC had for breakfast or whether he was lying up in bed etc .    If it wasn't so wet at the moment I think I'd take to the hills ( but not the Cairngorms)


----------



## Ranbay (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992



Live Aid


----------



## emanymton (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Doesn't sound good


You think she might get better?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Winot said:


> Nah it’ll prolong it - most people love all the hand wringing and solemnity that Truss’ll be doing.


Interesting take; nonetheless the orchestrated big news agenda drops will disappear amongst the mass wailing.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

A lot of activity in the BBC Newsroom when I was scanning channels


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

ffs... the only good thing about the royals is the crown

Related plans[edit]​Netflix has devised a plan, also named Operation London Bridge, to outline what the production company for _The Crown_ will do in the event the Queen dies when production for the TV series was occurring. In such an event, production of the TV series is planned to immediately shut down for at least a week.[31]


----------



## killer b (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Reckon TeamTruss will be well pissed off; this could certainly sink the 'bounce'.


disagree - more likely it's help her out - a time of national mourning is always going to be good for the government.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

Operation London Bridge - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				




read it and weep


----------



## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992


I quite like those few days when she ignored Diana’s death (until the Sun pitched in).


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> A lot of activity in the BBC Newsroom when I was scanning channels


 
They’re looking for the drawer with all the black ties


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

Corbyn’s going on Strictly.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Hmm..


----------



## xsunnysuex (Sep 8, 2022)

Near enough the whole royal family are on the way up there.  🤨


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992


LiveAid

e2a: beaten to it


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Beeb just announced Paedipus Rex is on his way to Balmoral with the rest of them. Can imagine there'll be a few icy stares when she calls him in to her bedside first, as favourite son.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

killer b said:


> disagree - more likely it's help her out - a time of national mourning is always going to be good for the government.


Maybe we'll be able to see our respective speculations tested?


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992


geting kicked out of a helicopter by daniel craig in the olympic opening ceremony


----------



## DownwardDog (Sep 8, 2022)

This is like the Christmas Eve when I knew I was getting the Airfix 1/24 Mustang.


----------



## Louis MacNeice (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> Mrs o87 is a royalist (I swear you have to be of you're a primary school teacher) so is likely to be sad about it when I get home, so I'm practicing my 'concerned face'.


Mrs Mac is a primary school teacher and absolutely not a royalist.

Cheers  - Louis MacNeice


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

even the sign language woman is dressed in black, everyone knows london bridge is falling down


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992



I’m hard pressed to remember my favourite shit and I am considerably more invested in how that occurs.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> This.
> Must get it out there that Truss has killed the Queen.


Some bloke on the BBC has just said that it was a very busy and exhausting day for her so.....


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Louis MacNeice said:


> Mrs Mac is a primary school teacher and absolutely not a royalist.
> 
> Cheers  - Louis MacNeice


Oh thank god.


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Basically any non-commonwealth country
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Where the airport has a huge sign “We love our king”, many wear yellow once a week to show deference to the ruler and even stop in the street for his little sycophantic ditty.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

In this difficult time for us all, I am going to cling to the idea that she only hung on this long because she desperately wanted to see the door hit Boris Johnson's arse on his way out before she made her own exit.


----------



## killer b (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Maybe we'll be able to see our respective speculations tested?


I just had a look to see if Diana Spencer's death had any impact, but Labour were already polling at 60% around then anyway which much have been maxed out


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

Liz Truss is going to have an ENORMOUS boost from Queen death make no mistake


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

I bet none of our channels will have the bottle to run the video of Truss wanting rid of the monarchy Liz Truss advocates for monarchy to be abolished in resurfaced clip

But the foreign channels will love it.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Hmm..
> 
> View attachment 341551



Pictured in front of the fire is a touch


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> Liz Truss is going to have an ENORMOUS boost from Queen death make no mistake


she's going to push for her office to be amalgamated with the monarchy


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

Right. Booked. 

Two weeks in Bangkok. Could be a song there. 

I assume the fact that the entire family has been arsed enough to fly up there means this is a dead cert so to speak.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

xsunnysuex said:


> Near enough the whole royal family are on the way up there.  🤨


I mean, she's not going anywhere, not that she's dead. And Liz and Boris was the ones that done it!


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 8, 2022)

Duchess of Cornwall 'likely' to cancel prior engagement in Scotland​The Duchess of Cornwall had been scheduled to open a new visitor centre for the Great Tapestry of Scotland in Galashiels, in the Scottish Borders, on Friday.
However, a royal spokesperson said that both she and the Prince of Wales had travelled to Balmoral, and it was "looking more likely" that the engagement would be cancelled.


From the Telegraph. It's serious


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Right. Booked.
> 
> Two weeks in Bangkok. Could be a song there.
> 
> I assume the fact that the entire family has been arsed enough to fly up there means this is a dead cert so to speak.


altho i note nicholas witchell is still wearing a jaunty blue and red tie


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

Truss gave her covid?


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Operation London Bridge - Wikipedia
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Operation Unicorn it is then


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

UrbaneFox said:


> Duchess of Cornwall 'likely' to cancel prior engagement in Scotland​The Duchess of Cornwall had been scheduled to open a new visitor centre for the Great Tapestry of Scotland in Galashiels, in the Scottish Borders, on Friday.
> However, a royal spokesperson said that both she and the Prince of Wales had travelled to Balmoral, and it was "looking more likely" that the engagement would be cancelled.
> 
> 
> From the Telegraph. It's serious


did no one notice this on the torygraph image i posted earlier?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> altho i note nicholas witchell is still wearing a jaunty blue and red tie


Surprised he's so jaunty; doesn't he get flung on the monarchical funeral pyre?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Surprised he's so jaunty; doesn't he get flung on the monarchical funeral pyre?


yup. to comment breathlessly on her doings until the end of time


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

live from the pearly gates...sorry it is the Sun


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

yeah she's definitely dead isn't she. calling it for a 6pm announcement.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

phew

*On the Queen, Cricinfo report that* “an ECB spokesperson has said ‘there is no mandate from DCMS to cancel sporting events, and it is left to individual sports to decide on appropriate steps.’”


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

how angry do you think depiffle is ATM

only a few more weeks and he be delivering the queen is dead speech


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

They’ve wheeled out Huw Edwards complete with black tie


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> how angry do you think depiffle is ATM
> 
> only a few more weeks and he be delivering the queen is dead speech


the queen hopes to linger on to deliver the boris johnson is dead speech


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

extra dry said:


> Truss gave her covid?



Given Truss past comments on the monarchist I assume this is just what happens when an anti-Queen touches a Queen.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

So if London Bridge really was down already...isn't all this guff in the media exactly how they'd soften up the masses for the news?


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> yeah she's definitely dead isn't she. calling it for a 6pm announcement.


Nah, they'll announce it as soon as they get the news. Don't want to get beaten to it by the competition, do they.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> They’ve wheeled out Huw Edwards complete with black tie




When it Cookie Monster it’ll be serious


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

Just turned on the TV and found that the BBC are doing a BBC News Special until 18:00 today. I might just throw my TV out of the window. 

I turn 50 tomorrow, she better not die on Friday and spoil that 🤬


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> geting kicked out of a helicopter by daniel craig in the olympic opening ceremony


Helicopter based funerals can be quite tricky.   



> The crowd, much of it made up of Revolutionary Guards detailed to maintain order, pulled the coffin from the helicopter and began parading it around the makeshift compound surrounding the gravesite. As the excitement grew, the body of the Ayatollah, wrapped in a white burial shroud, fell out of the flimsy wooden coffin, and in a mad scene people in the crowd reached to touch the shroud. The soldiers pushed and wrestled, finally firing warning shots, to get the body back. Ayatollah Khomeini's son, Ahmad, was knocked from his feet. But even as the soldiers pushed the body back into the helicopter, the crowd swarmed over the craft, dragging it back down as it tried to take off. Others jumped into the hole dug for the Ayatollah's body. The troops drove the crowd back, finally clearing the compound enough to allow the helicopter to take off, its rotors scattering more mourners.[14]











						Death and state funeral of Ruhollah Khomeini - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

so how can the mail and express blame Megan if she does


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Those kids are not going to have the best memories of their first day at school, really.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Those kids are not going to have the best memories of their first day at school, really.


can't imagine much in the way of teaching will be done tomorrow


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> phew
> 
> *On the Queen, Cricinfo report that* “an ECB spokesperson has said ‘there is no mandate from DCMS to cancel sporting events, and it is left to individual sports to decide on appropriate steps.’”



They really better not cancel the test.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> so how can the mail and express blame Megan if she does


meghan made sure she was far away when her poison took effect


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Beeb just announced Paedipus Rex is on his way to Balmoral with the rest of them. Can imagine there'll be a few icy stares when she calls him in to her bedside first, as favourite son.


She's probably named him as her successor.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> so how can the mail and express blame Megan if she does


Already being blamed for not visiting when they were around this week.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

If you bear the words this is the BBC from London then you will know


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> did no one notice this on the torygraph image i posted earlier?
> View attachment 341553


some of us are not too trusting of the papers.  This may end the UK as we know it, won't it trigger scotish independence and welsh independence votes and the new King Charles 4th?


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


> They really better not cancel the test.



Well the ECB being what they are, the level of competence, I wouldn't be surprised.

Still, it's not even raining here north of the river so we might get a little bit of play. Checked the forecast and the next four days look ok. Let's hope the Saffas opt for a full strength attack this time after the debacle of the second test.

Looking forward to Brooks' debut. Poor dude if it's overshadowed by this nonsense.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> If you bear the words this is the BBC from London then you will know


 
They’re in Salford now


----------



## SE25 (Sep 8, 2022)

Well I am in a terrific mood chaps


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> She's probably named him as her successor.


House of the Dragon - lizard based family, unexpected successor named., House of Windsor...


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

extra dry said:


> the new King Charles 4th?


Don't think he's going to use Charles, is he?


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 8, 2022)

What song will be sung instead of God Save the Queen?


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

This is going to carry on until Christmas isn't it?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

hmm are they going to do what they do with ailing pope's and finished them off with a ceremonial hammer to the head


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> This is going to carry on until Christmas isn't it?



And beyond


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> What song will be sung instead of God Save the Queen?



Something by Ed Sheeran


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

Now deleted tweet re:


Buddy Bradley said:


> Don't think he's going to use Charles, is he?



Chazza the 1st?


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Purely on the fact that the palace statement did not mentioned she is in good spirits, means I am calling it.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

harry and megan on their way to scotland


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

I ve been on Urban 20 years and forgot to put her in my death pool I think


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


>






Pickman's model said:


> altho i note nicholas witchell is still wearing a jaunty blue and red tie





brogdale said:


> Surprised he's so jaunty; doesn't he get flung on the monarchical funeral pyre?



God, I dislike the queen and I hate the monarchy, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Even in death, there's fucking Witchell sniffing around your ankles obsequiously, pulling a sombre little face and droning on about your 'sense of duty'.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992


 Show some respect. She's not dead yet.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Starting to think "under medical supervision" means "under a sheet on a table".


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Purely on the fact that the palace statement did not mentioned she is in good spirits, means I am calling it.




She's now with the spirits.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> What song will be sung instead of God Save the Queen?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Starting to think "under medical supervision" means "under a sheet on a table".



Pretty much.

She’s either dead or in a medicated sleep and drifting in and out of it if that’s how it’s described


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

Test Match Special has just stopped for the day and I’m not sure it’s just due to the rain.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> Just turned on the TV and found that the BBC are doing a BBC News Special until 18:00 today. I might just throw my TV out of the window.
> 
> I turn 50 tomorrow, she better not die on Friday and spoil that 🤬


Sounds like a birthday treat to me


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Pretty much.
> 
> She’s either dead or in a medicated sleep and drifting in and out of it if that’s how it’s described




Eugenie's given her a cheeky bump of K off her Coutts black card.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 8, 2022)

"The health of the Queen has taken a new direction" says Witchy

Lizard transition has begun.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Starting to think "under medical supervision" means "under a sheet on a table".



Course it does. She's the flipping queen - like she hasn't been having 24-hour on-call medical care for months, at least, already?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> "The health of the Queen has taken a new direction" says Witchy
> 
> Lizard transition has begun.




Horizontal.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

can anyone post a screenshot of huw edwards in a black tie please


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> "The health of the Queen has taken a new direction" says Witchy
> 
> Lizard transition has begun.



Shhhh, no spoilers! I've deliberately been avoiding all the entertainment news so as not to find out who's replacing her as the Queen in the next series. 

I think it should be a black one this time, or a gay one. Or neurodiverse.


----------



## Cloo (Sep 8, 2022)

My other half has pointed out that the Tories will gain from the related pageantry


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> "The health of the Queen has taken a new direction" says Witchy
> 
> Lizard transition has begun.


"The war situation has developed, not necessarily to Japan's advantage"


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> can anyone post a screenshot of huw edwards in a black tie please


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Course it does. She's the flipping queen - like she hasn't been having 24-hour on-call medical care for months, at least, already?


Nah, she had to be up at 8 am to try and get a GP appointment.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

Cloo said:


> My other half has pointed out that the Tories will gain from the related pageantry


She was a unifying national symbol. To lose that as you enter a time of crisis. . .


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

Cloo said:


> My other half has pointed out that the Tories will gain from the related pageantry



Unless it turns out Truss had Covid and gave it to Brenda. Which would be fucking awesome.


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

he is soo mental he will have some long title I bet.


Buddy Bradley said:


> Don't think he's going to use Charles, is he?


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Nah, she had to be up at 8 am to try and get a GP appointment.



Yeah but she's got like 30 flunkeys all calling them at once too, and whoever gets through first hands her the phone. One rule for them...


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Don't think he's going to use Charles, is he?


George apparently.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Priorities priorities


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

The way this is worded is doing my head in - specifically the last bit.


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

Does Urban have a precedence for when a monarch croaks?   Think i would have noticed if it had happened before, so assuming it hasn't, some guidance would be good?  Will it be black ties and armbands all round?  Will pickmans model be chief mourner (moaner)?  One feels 'all at sea' when moments of crisis strike so someone with an air of authority needs to step up and place their signature on the deepest sympathy card first?


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

Charles not being King Charles is fucking lame, what a tosser. won't save him.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> so how can the mail and express blame Megan if she does


Just heard one of the ladies who works in the college shop saying "Bloody Meghan Markle's on her way - how dare she!"


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

got this to 30 million


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

> Nicholas Witchell, the BBC’s royal correspondent, said there have been “rumours of cancers” in recent speculation over the Queen’s health but no confirmation.



He definitely didn't just make that up to make himself sound better plugged in than he really is


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


> Test Match Special has just stopped for the day and I’m not sure it’s just due to the rain.


That's it, WE RIOT!!!


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> He definitely didn't just make that up to make himself sound better plugged in than he really is



He also said should probably wouldn't want to go to hospital.


----------



## chilango (Sep 8, 2022)

She's going to be mightily pissed off if she recovers and finds out the whole BBC have chucked their black ties on prematurely.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> even the sign language woman is dressed in black, everyone knows london bridge is falling down
> View attachment 341552



Yeah they've switched over to another signer now and its the same story.


----------



## chilango (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## 2hats (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> did no one notice this on the torygraph image i posted earlier?


Now pulled, but this still sits in the Google cache...
​


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Unless it turns out Truss had Covid and gave it to Brenda. Which would be fucking awesome.



The most plausible covid angle is that her health was never the same after she caught it in February. More broadly there is mounting evidence that the risk of serious health problems remains elevated for at least a year after having covid, and the older you are the greater the chances that this sort of risk multiplication will result in death.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> What song will be sung instead of God Save the Queen?


Viva La Republique


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> Does Urban have a precedence for when a monarch croaks?   Think i would have noticed if it had happened before, so assuming it hasn't, some guidance would be good?  Will it be black ties and armbands all round?  Will pickmans model be chief mourner (moaner)?  One feels 'all at sea' when moments of crisis strike so someone with an air of authority needs to step up and place their signature on the deepest sympathy card first?


Dark theme to be mandatory.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Email from customer:



> We have it on insider authority that the Queen has already passed. Announcement is imminent.
> 
> Please can I have a dummy ticket for Saryuna
> 
> ...


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> What song will be sung instead of God Save the Queen?


It'll go back to god save the king again. Sex pistols will need to re-record it.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

mate of mine who works for a massive UK multinational services firm has been asked to design a press release


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Just live pics of Balmoral and they are getting the barriers set up


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 8, 2022)

magneze said:


> Dark theme to be mandatory.


Something like the Christmas snowflakes?


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Viva La Republique


usually, just change the queen to king simples, 

Bigger question is, who is going to pay for all the heating, and the multiple homes now, of rich weirdos, who die eventually?

 bet Icky saying they already left on a UFO lizard people that they allegedly are.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> Does Urban have a precedence for when a monarch croaks?   Think i would have noticed if it had happened before, so assuming it hasn't, some guidance would be good?  Will it be black ties and armbands all round?  Will pickmans model be chief mourner (moaner)?  One feels 'all at sea' when moments of crisis strike so someone with an air of authority needs to step up and place their signature on the deepest sympathy card first?



I believe it's customary for Sasaferrato to challenge somebody to a duel.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> The most plausible covid angle is that her health was never the same after she caught it in February. More broadly there is mounting evidence that the risk of serious health problems remains elevated for at least a year after having covid, and the older you are the greater the changes that this sort of risk multiplication will result in death.


It’s been a week since I tested negative and my chest is still feeling like shit.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

Liz Truss reckons "The whole country is deeply concerned".  Oh really?  I'm not.  I'm thoroughly enjoying it.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> let a hundred flowers bloom



Dammit, I was wrong, thought today was Friday.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> She probably looked around and thought , what a shithole my domain is now and my family are twats- might as well Chuck in the towel


I misread that for a nanosecond and thought you said 'Chuck in the tower'


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 8, 2022)

Cloo said:


> My other half has pointed out that the Tories will gain from the related pageantry


Maybe for the short term, but over winter I think support will fall again.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

Just spoke to me old mum on the phone.  She's quite upset, bless her.  I kept my feelings to myself, whilst reminding myself that people are going to be genuinely upset by this.  Silly fools.  But there you are.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm only concerned Mrs SI is going to be sad and while she won't expect me to be sad too certainly will expect no jokes and possibly also to be interested in various pictures of her maj/the rest of the royals


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Just spoke to me old mum on the phone.  She's quite upset, bless her.  I kept my feelings to myself, whilst reminding myself that people are going to be genuinely upset by this.  Silly fools.  But there you are.




Woke, cancel culture snowflakes need to learn that it's just an opinion, free speech etc.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I'm only concerned Mrs SI is going to be sad and while she won't expect me to be sad too certainly will expect no jokes and possibly also to be interested in various pictures of her maj/the rest of the royals


Yes, my daft husband is a royalist, so I won't be able to make tasteless jokes without getting into a big argument.


----------



## LDC (Sep 8, 2022)

Apologies if already posted, not looking though all the previous pages.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm at work so haven't been watching the  BBC, but I've just caught a bit of the news on my phone - I thought yous  were all joking about the 'dressing in black' thing. 

It's both hilarious and infuriating.


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I'm only concerned Mrs SI is going to be sad and while she won't expect me to be sad too certainly will expect no jokes and possibly also to be interested in various pictures of her maj/the rest of the royals


A nice bunch of flowers can help?


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

So glad I left working at the BBC (But not for the BBC) in January. This would have been a nightmare for me.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I'm only concerned Mrs SI is going to be sad and while she won't expect me to be sad too certainly will expect no jokes and possibly also to be interested in various pictures of her maj/the rest of the royals





ElizabethofYork said:


> Yes, my daft husband is a royalist, so I won't be able to make tasteless jokes without getting into a big argument.



Thoughts and prayers.


(mrs_bob doesn't have as cruel a sense of humour as me, but at least I know she'd rather pull her own teeth than watch any of the coverage of this.)


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

will it spark a civil war, loyalist and not loyalist, nationalist or republican, what will happen in other parts of the world who roundly reject royal esp Charles


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

so just to be clear, if all this is true, do we get this monday off? my dog's got a vet appointment and was gonna take it as leave. or is just for the funeral?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> I'm at work so haven't been watching the  BBC, but I've just caught a bit of the news on my phone - I thought yous  were all joking about the 'dressing in black' thing.
> 
> It's both hilarious and infuriating.


Does sound definate then.

Yeah i'm at work too. Nobody has mentioned it yet so i'm not sure if they know.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Is she in good spirits? Why haven’t we been told this?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Is she in good spirits? Why haven’t we been told this?



surely the wait till after her death to pickle her


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

They've started mentioning the mark on her hand the other day. Even included some speculation about circulation issues.


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

Is it gonna be lockdown all over again?  What about the economy? will we be required to clap on the doorstep?  im needin guidance from a leader


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

State funeral ten days after she dies so if she doesn't hang on til tomorrow we might not even get a day off as it'll be on a Sunday


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> so just to be clear, if all this is true, do we get this monday off? my dog's got a vet appointment and was gonna take it as leave. or is just for the funeral?


Surely the whole country should close down until Christmas, so that we can all watch the endless lickspittery on telly.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> Is it gonna be lockdown all over again?  What about the economy? will we be required to clap on the doorstep?  im needin guidance from a leader


I'm already fucking clapping! 

(but not fapping, that _would _be wrong).


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> State funeral ten days after she dies so if she doesn't hang on til tomorrow we might not even get a day off as it'll be on a Sunday




Fucking minging old cunt better not pull that scam


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

Witchell's tie is not black! It's blue with red spots! What on earth can it mean? Fuck you, Charles?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> I'm already fucking clapping!




Wilf, seen a minute ago...


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Witchell's tie is not black! It's blue with red spots! What on earth can it mean? Fuck you, Charles?


How disrespectful.  I need to write a stiff letter of complaint.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> Is it gonna be lockdown all over again?  What about the economy? will we be required to clap on the doorstep?  im needin guidance from a leader



£100 billion added to government debt to buy everyone a lifetime supply of special souvenir funeral mugs


----------



## chilango (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Witchell's tie is not black! It's blue with red spots! What on earth can it mean? Fuck you, Charles?


He's taking the protocol very seriously. Won't change till the notice is pinned to the gates of Buck House


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> It’s been a week since I tested negative and my chest is still feeling like shit.


It's a month since I got a clear result and I'm still fucked.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Sep 8, 2022)

Thought and prayers etc


----------



## marty21 (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Surely the whole country should close down until Christmas, so that we can all watch the endless lickspittery on telly.


Imagine this had happened when we only had 3 or 4 channels


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

Turn Buckingham palace into a homeless shelter and warm food bank for locals


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> What song will be sung instead of God Save the Queen?


The Internationale.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Surely the whole country should close down until Christmas, so that we can all watch the endless lickspittery on telly.


As a Liverpool fan, I do hope the Premier League void the entire season, out of respect,like.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## 19sixtysix (Sep 8, 2022)

One visit from Truss and she's ill.


----------



## kenny g (Sep 8, 2022)

Apparently all family members are travelling up to be with her. Presumably the logic being that if BoJo and Truzz haven't finished her off then Paedo, Wierdo, Edward and Anne will give her the boost that's needed.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Just spoke to me old mum on the phone.  She's quite upset, bless her.  I kept my feelings to myself, whilst reminding myself that people are going to be genuinely upset by this.  Silly fools.  But there you are.


"ElizabethofYork - she was kind to 'er old mum"


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 8, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Wilf, seen a minute ago...


Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the Royal Seal of Approval


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

bellaozzydog said:


> Thought and prayers etc


When I saw what Starmer tweeted it brought it home how inadequate it is to replace 'praying' with 'hoping' in the standard wording:


> Along with the rest of the country, I am deeply worried by the news from Buckingham Palace this afternoon. My thoughts are with Her Majesty The Queen and her family at this time, and I join everyone across the United Kingdom in hoping for her recovery.


----------



## LDC (Sep 8, 2022)

Her recovery? FFS she's 96 or something. People die.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Idris2002 said:


>



Next Eurovision entry?


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Next Eurovision entry?


The Dubliners' version is better, I have to say:


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Witchell sounded close to tears on 6 news just now. It's happening isn't it.


----------



## Glitter (Sep 8, 2022)

Do sporting events get cancelled if a monarch dies? 

Like say….The Great North Run?


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 8, 2022)

She must be holding on the see her favourite before she goes. Charles and Ann are already there so it’s not them. Edward and Andrew on the way…


----------



## BassJunkie (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> As a Liverpool fan, I do hope the Premier League void the entire season, out of respect,like.


As a Leicester fan I can do nothing but concur.


----------



## Crispy (Sep 8, 2022)

Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm



crosses fingers *
waits to be sent home *


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Oh great that’s going to help weeks of performative patriotic grieving and queen stuff with sad music on it 24hrs a day on the telly, just what the nation needs now.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

I bet Elton John's got his pen out already....

My money's on a cover of Sacrifice


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> what is everyone's favorite queen moment? mine is the annus horribilus speech in 1992



Another One Bites The Dust


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Witchell's tie is not black! It's blue with red spots! What on earth can it mean? Fuck you, Charles?



Clearly trying to send the message that this isn't a natural death and the queen was killed with poison from a Central American tree frog.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

They'd better not cancel game of thrones


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> I heard about phil the greek popping his clogs from a bbc news app alert. Pretty sure that will be how i hear about the queens death when it finally happens. Unless i happen to be watching tv at the time. I will be amazed if its from this thread.





chainsawjob said:


> It might be for me. I've lately stopped reading the news from other sources. Everything is shite and depressing.



I'm not looking at anything else for the foreseeable! I want it to be 'you heard it here first '


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm


🕰👀


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Royal Rimmer on sky just said, ' she had , er has a lovely smile'


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I'm not looking at anything else for the foreseeable! I want it to be 'you heard it here first '


It was the beeb app alerts that brought me here earlier but keep refreshing


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Gonna cost the shitty newspapers loads in extra ink for the solid black front covers they’ll have to print , that’s something.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

BBC6 going with Halleluljah.

The Happy Mondays one. Brave choice.


----------



## Santino (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm


Fucksake, Crispy


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 8, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I'm not looking at anything else for the foreseeable! I want it to be 'you heard it here first '


Just had a long text from an elderly relative, I'm not even gonna read to the end just in case


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm


But, I'm going out for dinner tonight. Can't she soldier in for one more day?


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm


Well, they were wrong. (just heard the 3 oclock news)

I don't see how they can keep a lid on it once it happens, now everyone has a mobile phone and there's fortunes to be made with early news.


----------



## klang (Sep 8, 2022)

And right on cue the sun starts shining


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Statement from official saying she is “comfortable” that definitely means done game over doesn’t it.


----------



## prunus (Sep 8, 2022)

Official BBC soundtrack for the next ten days:


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Statement from official saying she is “comfortable” that definitely means done doesn’t it.



"resting peacefully"


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

prunus said:


> Official BBC soundtrack for the next ten days:
> 
> View attachment 341572


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> When do we get some new King Charles money?



From what I've seen of how the UK does things, they're printing the money about the same time as they put a pillow over the previous monarch's face.


----------



## neonwilderness (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> BBC6 going with Halleluljah.
> 
> The Happy Mondays one. Brave choice.


The Stone Roses next? 



Spoiler


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Glitter said:


> Do sporting events get cancelled if a monarch dies?
> 
> Like say….The Great North Run?


I don't see how the London Anarchist Bookfair can go ahead in these circumstances.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 8, 2022)

I don't think I can take a royal funeral as we approach this awful winter. There was a fucking parade up here during the jubilee and the kids were all told they had to make and wear crowns which was sold as "we would all like to wear crowns" . I made up some shit about misbooking a holiday and took my son away to Sanday. Happy to tell the same lie twice if it comes to it.


----------



## Crispy (Sep 8, 2022)

I am furious to have been so misled


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

This is the end for you and me
I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

An announcement on Boom Radio (!) at the moment, about how seriously ill the queen is.  Getting us ready for the big announcement, I think.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Drum roll


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Tony Blair is concerned apparently 



			https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-62834633


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> BBC6 going with Halleluljah.
> 
> The Happy Mondays one. Brave choice.



Craig Charles gearing up for the Trunk of Punk. Sex Pistols special?


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

The Queen's former press secretary Dickie Arbiter says the situation is unprecedented. 

Yes, she has never died before. Not that we know of anyway.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Witchell sounded close to tears on 6 news just now. It's happening isn't it.


That's his gig over, they'll be getting a younger fawning lickspittle to do his job.  Paddy McGuinness?


----------



## N_igma (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Statement from official saying she is “comfortable” that definitely means done game over doesn’t it.


Comfortably numb….from death.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Do you reckon the Graun Live News masthead will turn from red to black at The Moment?

FFS








						Royals rush to Balmoral as Queen’s health deteriorates – as it happened
					

This live blog has closed. News of the Queen’s death can be found on our new live blog




					www.theguardian.com
				




BBC suspending schedule


----------



## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Just spoke to me old mum on the phone.  She's quite upset, bless her.  I kept my feelings to myself, whilst reminding myself that people are going to be genuinely upset by this.  Silly fools.  But there you are.


My mum messaged too: “They’d better not cancel the football”.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> I am furious to have been so misled



It could have been delayed. Huw Edwards just said "we'll wait for a statement, if there is a statement, when it comes" whatever that means.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Sep 8, 2022)

She’s browners they are just juggling the admin

Time to go dark on TV and Social media for a fortnight

Great time for a digital de-tox


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Just saw someone on another forum, who "works for a 24h news channel" say it's all over. Announcement on all channels at 3pm



BBC just referred to rumours about statements at this hour or that hour but that there havent been any new statements yet.

As they scrabble around for things to say we are treated to the usual shit about how discombobulating people will find this loss of an icon of stability. Its even more absurd when they describe historical examples along the lines of 'people wondered how they and the nation would cope without the monarch but then another monarch came along' type shit.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> The Queen's former press secretary *Dickie Arbiter* says the situation is unprecedented.
> 
> Yes, she has never died before. Not that we know of anyway.


Splendid name though.


----------



## Saunders (Sep 8, 2022)

The media making such a thing about the family travelling to be with her, I’d imagine they may not announce anything until they’re all there, to mitigate making mileage out of which didn’t make it in time.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

Saunders said:


> The media making such a thing about the family travelling to be with her, I’d imagine they may not announce anything until they’re all there, to mitigate making mileage out of which didn’t make it in time.



Well they've got to get Prince Andrew in and out again, before they can bring the various great-grandkids in. It's going to take a while.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Saunders said:


> The media making such a thing about the family travelling to be with her, I’d imagine they may not announce anything until they’re all there, to mitigate making mileage out of which didn’t make it in time.



Although part of the reason they are making a big deal of that aspect is that this is how they indicate to people that she is dead/going to die without having to say it explicitly. Well that and the black underpants and wall to wall coverage.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Saunders said:


> The media making such a thing about the family travelling to be with her, I’d imagine they may not announce anything until they’re all there, to mitigate making mileage out of which didn’t make it in time.



Apparently they've all arrived there now apart from Harry and Meghan, so I'm sure the Daily Mail already has a story prepped about how they kept the country waiting.


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Black bunting all over my nearest town I reckon. Probably crocheting it furiously now whoever they are.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Nicholas Witchell: "I understand Buckingham Palace is not expected to say anything more at this stage. There is nothing imminent I am led to believe."


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

meghan is 100% def gonna get criticized for some shit


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Operation London Bridge is fully revved up.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

One Liz in, one Liz out I guess


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Black bunting all over my nearest town I reckon. Probably crocheting it furiously now whoever they are.



Those are dog shit bags


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Operation London Bridge is fully revved up.



Also featuring Operation Unicorn because of the death happening in Scotland.


----------



## RD2003 (Sep 8, 2022)

This could be like the death of Tito. Civil war within 10 years.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> One Liz in, one Liz out I guess


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Well I hope its not a comfortable death. One so wracked with pain that the passing leaves a lasting depression on the loved ones.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> I bet Elton John's got his pen out already....
> 
> My money's on a cover of Sacrifice



Off-topic, but I've just realised, looking for the lyrics to make some inappropriate pun with, that I've been getting them wrong all my life. I thought it was:

Cold, cold heart
Hard done by you


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Royal Rimmer, ' she's not feeling a hundred percent, but I bet she still wants updates on her horses' !  🤣


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> BBC6 going with Halleluljah.
> 
> The Happy Mondays one. Brave choice.




Isn’t that about fucking?


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


>


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 8, 2022)

_HM Queen Elizabeth’s __health_ looks like _death_ if one glances over without one’s specs on 😒


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Statement from official saying she is “comfortable” that definitely means done game over doesn’t it.



It's not as sinister as 'not in pain any more' but it's pretty conclusive.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Well I hope its not a comfortable death. One so wracked with pain that the passing leaves a lasting depression on the loved ones.


Now now, the BBC have just been going on about how even republicans can respect her due to her ability to transcend all barriers and spread infinite joy and comfort to the rascal multitude.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Isn’t that about fucking?


Well, she is fucked.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Well I hope its not a comfortable death. One so wracked with pain that the passing leaves a lasting depression on the loved ones.



What a pleasant chap you are.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Isn’t that about fucking?



Pretty sure it's about drugs, like the rest of them.


----------



## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> What a pleasant chap you are.


Monarchists are worse than idiots. |et this death mark the end of this shit. No more.


----------



## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)

Almost fell for that


----------



## Looby (Sep 8, 2022)

Glitter said:


> Do sporting events get cancelled if a monarch dies?
> 
> Like say….The Great North Run?


Mr Looby reckons 10 days. He’s a bit pissed he’ll miss his home match on Saturday.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Winot said:


>



Someone hit Tweet too soon.

Cryptopunk


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Pretty sure it's about drugs, like the rest of them.



Fucking on drugs


----------



## Crispy (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Someone hit Tweet too soon.


Whoever it was at AFP who didn't manage to get a decent twitter handle for the agency and had to settle for Cr7pt0P4nk


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Monarchists are worse than idiots. |et this death mark the end of this shit. No more.



I hate to be the one to tell you, but there's a sillier example in waiting.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> Although part of the reason they are making a big deal of that aspect is that this is how they indicate to people that she is dead/going to die without having to say it explicitly. Well that and the black underpants and wall to wall coverage.


I can't stand the weird euphemisms. 



> The statement from Buckingham Palace is significant because it is a contrast to the last couple of months, when Buckingham Palace said as little as possible.
> 
> It said she remains comfortable at Balmoral.
> 
> ...


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Someone hit Tweet too soon.
> 
> Cryptopunk



Someone called Cr7pt0P4nk with 69 followers.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 8, 2022)

I dunno after the use of the word comfortable I give it 48 hours. Can we take bets?


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Britain’s plan for when Queen Elizabeth II dies
					

POLITICO has obtained documents laying out Operation LONDON BRIDGE in granular detail.




					www.politico.eu


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> I bet Elton John's got his pen out already....
> 
> My money's on a cover of Sacrifice


Thursday night's alright for dying


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I hate to be the one to tell you, but there's a sillier example in waiting.



This one lauded as some sort of environmental champion which gets right on my tits.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

i suspect this is going to be announced at 6pm. BBC gone full death mode.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

yeah it's on come on i expect newspaper websites to go FULL BLACK within 90 mins


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

Kinell, the memes


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

What's the window for the coronation? Just trying to plan bank holidays etc


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

very warm today


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> What's the window for the coronation? Just trying to plan bank holidays etc


Coronation will take ages to organise. HM's wasn't till the following year.


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

ten days from D day   to the funeral apparently


----------



## BassJunkie (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Do you reckon the Graun Live News masthead will turn from red to black at The Moment?
> 
> FFS
> 
> ...


"Bargain Hunt was interrupted at 12.39 "

Shit gets serious.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> ten days from D day   to the funeral apparently



So Sunday? No day off?


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Can we run a book on when she will go?

1-2  4am tommorow
2-1  eight pm tonight
4-1 Already dead


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

i think that some of the grief will be real, you know, not for this person they've never met but for the loss of continuity, because she has been there all their lives whilst everything else has changed etc.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

i think we'll get the announcement later this evening and i think she is essentially in a coma and they are waiting for meghan to get there to switch the machines off cos then she can get blamed somehow


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

Seven members of Royal Household fly to Aberdeen​A flight carrying seven members of the Royal Household is expected to land at Aberdeen Airport shortly, the BBC understands. 


Could be that they're waiting on whoever the seven are to be there (sounds like a weird ritual). Then they'll make it public.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> Could be that they're waiting on whoever the seven are to be there (sounds like a weird ritual). Then they'll make it public.


Secret Seven go to Balmoral


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

hmm is she dead yet


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Monarchists are worse than idiots. |et this death mark the end of this shit. No more.


do you know, that's precisely what they said at the death of queen victoria. yet here we are 121 years later and still putting up with the same shit


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

this could be a perfect storm if the weather improves for the rioting, with a ton of foreign leaders in london and scraps going off all over the place


----------



## Crispy (Sep 8, 2022)

Probably this one



Northolt's just down the road from Windsor.

EDIT: Yep, this plane previously used for all sorts of royals


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Surprised that they allow that many of the royal family to all travel in the same vehicle.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

Brenda has been on the throne longer than I have been alive but my only personal interaction with her is when she visited Crewe Works when I was about 9 and along with all the other kids I was marched from school to stand around and wave flags whilst she and Phil the Greek got out of the car and went into the offices and then we were all marched back again. Whilst she has been around all my life then so have the Pyramids or Blackpool Tower. The Queens actual impact on my life has been minimal, I'm not one of those wishing her death to be painful but the idea that I will grieve over a woman I have never met is nonsensical.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Secret Seven go to Balmoral


Whi are the seven?


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

Fingers crossed the official time of death is past midnight so we get a bank holiday


----------



## t0bytoo (Sep 8, 2022)

A mate tells me that they are getting on harnesses and ready to lower the flag at Bristol Temple Meads station...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Whi are the seven?


the seven rings of power must be combined at the death of a monarch


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Monarchists are worse than idiots. |et this death mark the end of this shit. No more.


No more till the next one dies


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

t0bytoo said:


> A mate tells me that they are getting on harnesses and ready to lower the flag at Bristol Temple Meads station...


a major undertaking


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Surprised that they allow that many of the royal family to all travel in the same vehicle.


They aren’t the important ones, just the spares.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> The Queens actual impact on my life has been minimal


I own more things with her picture on than anyone else's.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

tim said:


> No more till the next one dies


charles philip arthur george is 74 and doesn't look too well


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> I own more things with her picture on than anyone else's.


Stamps? Coins?


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> I own more things with her picture on than anyone else's.


Really? Didn’t think anyone used much cash anymore.  I’ve got more pictures of Mark E Smith (amongst others)


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> I own more things with her picture on than anyone else's.


My long dead gran had a shitload of royal memorabilia but the only thing currently in the house with a pic of Brenda on it is a couple of £10 notes.


----------



## chilango (Sep 8, 2022)

Do you reckon Truss et al. are tempted to use that emergency broadcast thing on everyone's mobiles to announce this?


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> Seven members of Royal Household fly to Aberdeen​A flight carrying seven members of the Royal Household is expected to land at Aberdeen Airport shortly, the BBC understands.
> 
> 
> Could be that they're waiting on whoever the seven are to be there (sounds like a weird ritual). Then they'll make it public.


And when the trip was over there were seven and twenty less.


----------



## xsunnysuex (Sep 8, 2022)

All the reporters on Sky are now wearing black. Hmm


----------



## RD2003 (Sep 8, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Brenda has been on the throne longer than I have been alive but my only personal interaction with her is when she visited Crewe Works when I was about 9 and along with all the other kids I was marched from school to stand around and wave flags whilst she and Phil the Greek got out of the car and went into the offices and then we were all marched back again. Whilst she has been around all my life then so have the Pyramids or Blackpool Tower. The Queens actual impact on my life has been minimal, I'm not one of those wishing her death to be painful but the idea that I will grieve over a woman I have never met is nonsensical.


This is the only appropriate reaction.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> Really? Didn’t think anyone used much cash anymore.  I’ve got more pictures of Mark E Smith (amongst others)


My daughter gets paid in cash so I end up carting it around until I can pay it into the bank.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Surprised that they allow that many of the royal family to all travel in the same vehicle.



Wasn't a plane crash that got some of Phil's relatives?


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

They won't make it there in time for an announcement on the Six O'Clock News:


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

Can't wait to see how they manage the sweaty nonce's exit from the plane. Any minute now.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> Seven members of Royal Household fly to Aberdeen​A flight carrying seven members of the Royal Household is expected to land at Aberdeen Airport shortly, the BBC understands.
> 
> 
> Could be that they're waiting on whoever the seven are to be there (sounds like a weird ritual). Then they'll make it public.


Just arrived according to beeb alert


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> My daughter gets paid in cash….


I darent ask why!


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> They won't make it there in time for an announcement on the Six O'Clock News:
> 
> View attachment 341589


I don’t think they’re getting the bus.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> I dunno after the use of the word comfortable I give it 48 hours. Can we take bets?


It would be rude not to. To keep it fair though I think one of our resident royalists should keep the book.

Any suggestions...?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> They won't make it there in time for an announcement on the Six O'Clock News:
> 
> View attachment 341589


I doubt they are flying easyjet


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)

chilango said:


> Do you reckon Truss et al. are tempted to use that emergency broadcast thing on everyone's mobiles to announce this?



Report to 7726









						Report a scam text
					

How to report suspicious text messages, and what to do if you think you’ve responded to a scam text.




					www.ncsc.gov.uk


----------



## BCBlues (Sep 8, 2022)

Idris2002 said:


> Thursday night's alright for dying



Someone didn't save my life tonight


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> charles philip arthur george is 74 and doesn't look too well


Yes, but the next baldie in line will out-live me and maybe even you. And TopCat will either have been pecked to death, cabin monoxided by his dodgy flue or sawn up by his Nazi neighbour well before the Royal Standard is finally lowered.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

The news coverage has gotten ridiculous now.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> I don’t think they’re getting the bus.


A taxi would be quite pricey I think


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> Surprised that they allow that many of the royal family to all travel in the same vehicle.




Never a MANPADS around when you need one.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

7pm lads it's ON get the fucking bottles ready


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Crispy said:


> Probably this one
> 
> View attachment 341586
> 
> ...


Is that Epstiens jet then?


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Would be excellent if they all had to go and wait around the baggage carousel for 20 minutes now.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> The news coverage has gotten ridiculous now.


No surprise there. At work and won't switch on when i get home.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

I guess I won't be seeing Police, Camera, Murder on ITV at 9pm then.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

It pleases me that it is pissing down.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> I guess I won't be seeing Police, Camera, Murder on ITV at 9pm then.




Depends how she died I guess?


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> It pleases me that it is pissing down.


Where you are or in Balmoral? It's sunny if slightly overcast in the Midlands


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

There are no Republicans today apparently.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Where you are or in Balmoral? It's sunny if slightly overcast in the Midlands


London.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

That's a brand new jet which cost $44m.


----------



## salem (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> It pleases me that it is pissing down.


I predict a rainbow as she ascends


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

salem said:


> I predict a rainbow as she ascends


Winged Corgi's carrying her aloft


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Where you are or in Balmoral? It's sunny if slightly overcast in the Midlands


Pissing down in Wales. Glyndwr's tears for madge


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

Acording to Beeb 3 of 7 were Billy the Bald, Sweaty Nonce and the Useless One whose driver almost ran me down when I was outside the world's poshest council house


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 8, 2022)

I lasted ten minutes watching BBC and the bollocks is in full flow. Switched off.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

salem said:


> I predict a rainbow as she ascends


Do you live in North Korea


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> That's a brand new jet which cost $44m.




It's an RAF jet.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

The real dilemma for me is which flavour crisps should I open? Prawn cocktail or Worcester Sauce 😟


----------



## jakethesnake (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm meant to be going to a festival tomorrow... if she carks it, will it be cancelled??


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 8, 2022)

In tribute Pizza Express has renamed the Mighty Meaty as Sweaty Betty


----------



## fucthest8 (Sep 8, 2022)

We're having a party on Sat night, hired a place for it in town, to celebrate some birthdays, if this bullshit interferes with that in any way I shall be right fucked off


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> The real dilemma for me is which flavour crisps should I open? Prawn cocktail or Worcester Sauce 😟




I don’t see that as a choice, always PC. 

WS Can fuck off.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Shouldn't we have a separate forum like we did with the Ukraine invasion? It should be titled "The Passing of Our Great Lamented Sovereign Lady and Long Live Our Glorious King" or some such thing.

Also why is it all still blue here? Where's our blackness?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It's an RAF jet.


That brand new RAF jet cost £44m.


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 8, 2022)

chilango said:


> Do you reckon Truss et al. are tempted to use that emergency broadcast thing on everyone's mobiles to announce this?


Fucksake I hope not. Is that really a thing?


----------



## Crispy (Sep 8, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Shouldn't we have a separate forum like we did with the Ukraine invasion? It should be titled "The Passing of Our Great Lamented Sovereign Lady and Long Live Our Glorious King" or some such thing.
> 
> Also why is it all still blue here? Where's our blackness?


Join us in Dark Mode


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> The real dilemma for me is which flavour crisps should I open? Prawn cocktail or Worcester Sauce 😟




Worcester Sauce.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

jakethesnake said:


> I'm meant to be going to a festival tomorrow... if she carks it, will it be cancelled??


Depends on the festival. Which one?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> I don’t see that as a choice, always PC.
> 
> WS Can fuck off.


I've had celebratory/nine months of national mourning Greggs  sausage role. 

It seemed fitting.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

"Meghan did it!" confirms Daily Mail
					

Whatever happens to the Queen in the coming hours and days is all the fault of Meghan Markle, according to the Daily Mail today.




					newsthump.com


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

jakethesnake said:


> I'm meant to be going to a festival tomorrow... if she carks it, will it be cancelled??




Mercury Music Prize is on tonight, that'll carry on, surely..?


----------



## pogofish (Sep 8, 2022)

Just had word from Balmoral that she passed a couple of hours back.

They are waiting for the family to get there before making the announcement.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> That brand new RAF jet cost £44m.




Aircraft are expensive, shocker.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

bah


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Mercury Music Prize is on tonight, that'll carry on, surely..?


they will have a musical review and minute of silence


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Announcement tonight Id guess? Just waiting for the full roster of windsors to assemble and then chas goes up stairs with the regicidal pillow and comes back as King Sausage Fingers the First.


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 8, 2022)

Work is asking me to go and dig out the flagpole and flag from my shed. Must be happening.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.


 
thats a fucking serious lock in ...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.




We'll all be out on the streets doing a conga anyway.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It's an RAF jet.


I know. Used for transporting royals and other VIPs


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.


What about shops and factories and other places?


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> I don’t see that as a choice, always PC.
> 
> WS Can fuck off.


But they're by royal appointment


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

jakethesnake said:


> I'm meant to be going to a festival tomorrow... if she carks it, will it be cancelled??


waiting to find out if we're supposed to be in tomorrow


----------



## chilango (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.


That will be the final nail in the coffin for many I fear.


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.


That's bollocks, mate.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Just had word from Balmoral that she passed a couple of hours back.
> 
> They are waiting for the family to get there before making the announcement.


Pretty much what I expected tbh


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Just had word from Balmoral that she passed a couple of hours back.
> 
> They are waiting for the family to get there before making the announcement.



Well. that's that then. You are within spitting distance so would be first to know.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.


they must want riots


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

She has given us:
Joy
Strength
Hope

Apparently it's also huge


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

pogofish said:


> she passed


Died please. This is not a shopping channel.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

It's almost as if they DON'T CARE!!!


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Sass is going to be guest editor of urban.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Sass is going to be guest editor of urban.


we'll all be banned before closing time


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

I've just put my notice in at work. Imagine, me and the queen checking out on the same day - and with a combined service of 102 years between us!


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

FFS people gathering at Buck Palace - here begins the mass fucking hysteria.


----------



## jakejb79 (Sep 8, 2022)

extra dry said:


> View attachment 341584   very warm today


Her hands, has she been injecting again?


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Sass is going to be guest editor of urban.


I wouldn't mind seeing that.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm still blown away that ed  watches Bargain Hunt, to be honest.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Mini Fire is going to be distraught, she just thinks the Queen is a nice old lady.

I've tried to explain the whole parasite thing in a calm and measured fashion without shattering her world too much but not sure it sank in.

Should be easier with Charles.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> FFS people gathering at Buck Palace - here begins the mass fucking hysteria.


More rain please. Plus hail and vicious sideways winds.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Sass is going to be guest editor of urban.


Has anyone checked he's got people with him who give a fuck.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> I'm still blown away that ed  watches Bargain Hunt, to be honest.


ed editor?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> More rain please. Plus hail and vicious sideways winds.


and a couple of well-placed lightning strikes


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Yeah. I've no idea why I feel like this.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Well. that's that then. You are within spitting distance so would be first to know.



Mrs Fish is a Ballater girl who has friends on the estate.  Word is out locally.


----------



## N_igma (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.


Here in south Armagh the opening hours will be extended.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Rumours abound that pubs (in fact all licenced premises) will be forced to close their doors for all ten days of mourning.




I can think of no quicker way to become a republic so here’s hoping.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Mrs Fish is a Ballater girl who has friends on the estate.



Yes, I knew you were close by and took your post at face value. Hope it didn't come across any other way.


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> I'm still blown away that ed  watches Bargain Hunt, to be honest.


I fucking love it. I have a rare (but sadly never used) talent for almost always correctly guessing the value of the items that come up for auction.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> I've just put my notice in at work. Imagine, me and the queen checking out on the same day - and with a combined service of 102 years between us!


yeh but you've something to look forward to


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> I'm still blown away that ed  watches Bargain Hunt, to be honest.


Got to do something now the bands can’t tour Europe.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Is there a Royal Tracker website like there is for planes?

Would be handy to know when they all get there.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> Announcement tonight Id guess? Just waiting for the full roster of windsors to assemble and then chas goes up stairs with the regicidal pillow and comes back as King Sausage Fingers the First.


_All Hail King Richmond, the First of His Name!_


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> FFS people gathering at Buck Palace - here begins the mass fucking hysteria.


Its not much of a crowd at this point, the BBC have got their helicopter up but I'd be hard pressed to spot much difference between the number of people there now and what we'd normally expect to see.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> Announcement tonight Id guess? Just waiting for the full roster of windsors to assemble and then chas goes up stairs with the regicidal pillow and comes back as King Sausage Fingers the First.


it's now or never for harry to go nepalese on his family


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

The royals gathering around a bedside doesn't happen very often apparently.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> Its not much of a crowd at this point, the BBC have got their helicopter up but I'd be hard pressed to spot much difference between the number of people there now and what we'd normally expect to see.


yeh one bunch of lickspittles looks much the same as another


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Got to do something now the bands can’t tour Europe.


Well, if I can't tour Europe, watching people running around car boot sales and losing small fortunes on shit antiques runs it a pretty close second for fun.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> Announcement tonight Id guess? Just waiting for the full roster of windsors to assemble and then chas goes up stairs with the regicidal pillow and comes back as King Sausage Fingers the First.



The full roster? Even the ones who get sent out to shit sports events when the main ones can't be bothered? There's thousands of them it'll take days.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

I need drink.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> yeh but you've something to look forward to


Wonder if she was on the Organ Donor Register?  I could imagine the Adverts doing an updated Gary Gilmore's Eyes.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

manager's been in saying don't tweet anything for the time being.

which i wasn't going to

not from the work a/c anyway


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Wonder if she was on the Organ Donor Register?  I could imagine the Adverts doing an updated Gary Gilmore's Eyes.


drinking through lizzie windsor's lips


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> Well, if I can't tour Europe, watching people running around car boot sales and losing small fortunes on shit antiques runs it a pretty close second for fun.



Watch Salvage Hunters on Quest. It is the absolute business.


----------



## Looby (Sep 8, 2022)

There has been a sad death. 

My toaster. 😞


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 8, 2022)

Long live your toaster.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Lashing down in London.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Lashing down in London.


it should be sunny so we can conga up the mall


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

Looby said:


> There has been a sad death.
> 
> My toaster. 😞


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> drinking through lizzie windsor's lips


Doing the twist with Lizzie's hips.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Doing the twist with Lizzie's hips.


shitting through lizzie windsor's ring


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> Long live your toaster.


A useful, functional object that tried to please for so many years. Delivering a delightful range of toasted items, the toaster gave so much hot toast pleasure to the Looby family that it always retained a prominent spot in the kitchen.  The Looby family children are being comforted with a hot muffin.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> View attachment 341597


yeh we've had that already post 5012


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

I just have this mental image of the kissing of the hands thing on Tuesday going horribly wrong as Liz Truss loses control and sinks her teeth into her maj, in order to drain her blood and thus take on the power of the elder vampire...

(Yes I watch too many crap vampire films!)


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> I need drink.


I'll trade you some home brew if you can help me out. I need crisps


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 8, 2022)

hang on - Truss is on record as wanting to abolish the monarchy ... and then Queenie checks out within 48 hours of the handshake of doom ....


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> View attachment 341597



If she could just hang on until the 11th that would send the conspiraloons absolutely nuts.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> I'll trade you some home brew if you can help me out. I need crisps


My home brew is lush. The beer is nearly done though. Start on the stout soon. I also have no crisps but I have half a good kebab.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> hang on - Truss is on record as wanting to abolish the monarchy ... and then Queenie checks out within 48 hours of the handshake of doom ....


She smeared shit on her hand and dug her nails in.


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> But they're by royal appointment View attachment 341594


And this is why Henderson’s is vastly superior.   It’s not only vegan (not that they talk about that), it’s also republican.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

jakethesnake said:


> I'm meant to be going to a festival tomorrow... if she carks it, will it be cancelled??


Yes. Everything will be cancelled from 6pm this evening. Everything


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> I just have this mental image of the kissing of the hands thing on Tuesday going horribly wrong as Liz Truss loses control and sinks her teeth into her maj, in order to drain her blood and thus take on the power of the elder vampire...
> 
> (Yes I watch too many crap vampire films!)


Queen of the Dammed.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Yes. Everything will be cancelled from 6pm this evening. Everything


I'm getting texts from shotters saying no business tonight.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> And this is why Henderson’s is vastly superior.   It’s not only vegan (not that they talk about that), it’s also republican.


*Totally wrong'un list updated.

You can't have Worcester sauce without anchovies in it.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Yes. Everything will be cancelled from 6pm this evening. Everything


Including the football season?! Oh god please let it be so!!!


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

What happens to all the people that turn 100? Do they still get birthday cards? Or do they have to wait for the coronation and then Charles signs loads and some of them are dead and it's too late?

Fuck.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> Including the football season?! Oh god please let it be so!!!


Just the champions league will do.


----------



## SE25 (Sep 8, 2022)

Fucking hard work wiping this grin off my face and pretending to be solemn today. Deserve a medal for this hard work (more than she ever put in)


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> What happens to all the people that turn 100? Do they still get birthday cards? Or do they have to wait for the coronation and then Charles signs loads and some of them are dead and it's too late?
> 
> Fuck.


They go back to zero and start again.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Queen of the Dammed.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> They go back to zero and start again.



Good to know. Thanks.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

if you turn 100 in the next few days i reckon you get a SMS from Eugenie


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

The crowd at Buckingham palace is getting bigger


----------



## clicker (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> What happens to all the people that turn 100? Do they still get birthday cards? Or do they have to wait for the coronation and then Charles signs loads and some of them are dead and it's too late?
> 
> Fuck.


They can get a hand print until she's buried.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> The crowd at Buckingham palace is getting bigger


storm the palace


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> if you turn 100 in the next few days i reckon you get a SMS from Eugenie


"Congrats on reachin' a tonne, u r da best love Fergie."


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

clicker said:


> They can get a hand print until she's buried.



All eventualities covered. I can see why they are in charge. Smart.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Meghan has fucked her off. Stopping in London. Heil is going to be frothing.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> The crowd at Buckingham palace is getting bigger



It's all tourists from what I can see.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Can't wait for Queen Cruella to show her true colours. 

She's definitely dead, they're all being sent home at Ballamory. Even the Sqaddies are leaving now.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Pawel from Bidfood has been dropping off the funeral buffet. (BBC)


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> The crowd at Buckingham palace is getting bigger.


No they're just swelling in the rain.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Can't wait for Queen Cruella to show her true colours.
> 
> She's definitely dead, they're all being sent home at Ballamory. Even the Sqaddies are leaving now.


And so power drifts away as life ebbs


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> It's all tourists from what I can see.



It's not much of a crowd at all based on the picture they're currently showing. Easiest Where's Wally ever.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 8, 2022)

Blimey Huw Edwards really is the don when it comes to filling time is he not.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> It's not much of a crowd at all based on the picture they're currently showing. Easiest Where's Wally ever.


Just people on the way home from work now trying to wave to their nans on telly.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Meghan has fucked her off. Stopping in London. Heil is going to be frothing.



Smart move, if an accident wipes out the royals rushing to Balmoral she'll need to look after King Archie.


----------



## hash tag (Sep 8, 2022)

It certainly looks like the vultures are circling overhead at both Aberdeen airport and Balmoral desperate for their scoop.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Meghan has fucked her off. Stopping in London. Heil is going to be frothing.


Mrs Cambridge had stayed in Windsor with the children.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

They're waiting on Michael Fagan before they make the announcement


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Mrs Cambridge had stayed in Windsor with the children.


Mrs mountbatten-windsor


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

A year agoI should have put £100 on Truss being PM a year ago; picked up my winnings on Tuesday and stuck it all into Interflora shares...


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Meghan has fucked her off. Stopping in London. Heil is going to be frothing.


Bit of shopping


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Mrs Cambridge had stayed in Windsor with the children.


No point flying up when you know she has already pegged it.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

The wheels of state do not stop turning in this country. The Crown must always be present. There are decisions being made for the smooth transition to Charles III/George VII and the country will carry on exactly as our unwritten constitution demands.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

All the proddies in the north of Ireland are greeting.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The wheels of state do not stop turning in this country. The Crown must always be present. There are decisions being made for the smooth transition to Charles III/George VII and the country will carry on exactly as our unwritten constitution demands.



Really? I thought this is when rival claimants start moving their forces into position?


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Mrs mountbatten-windsor


That's her. The tidy one.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 8, 2022)

Honestly, I'll be upset by her death. She reminds me of my gran, who I was very close to, and I have a fondness for that generation - it's sad to think of a world without them all.

However, EastEnders has been really good this week, and I'll be annoyed if it's cancelled.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Witchell has pretty much given it away now.

No hospital.
No intervention.
"Comfortable".
Family en route.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 8, 2022)

SE25 said:


> Fucking hard work wiping this grin off my face and pretending to be solemn today. Deserve a medal for this hard work (more than she ever put in)


A contractor on site at work earlier, when I said looks like Liz is on her death bed - thought he was gunna burst out crying. And when he asked if I liked her, & then proceeded to tell me how much he respected her, cos “she never moaned or became political”, it was time to leave him to get in with the job alone.


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 8, 2022)

She doesn't go down well in my part of Wales, I know that. Or at least my school. Genuinely shocked and pleased by the proportion of people at my school, quite straight people, who couldn't give a fuck or dared to murmur "about time".


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

Hardly anyone at Buck Pal?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Witchell has pretty much given it away now.
> 
> No hospital.
> No intervention.
> ...


_Comfortable..._on the slab already


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Mr.Bishie said:


> A contractor on site at work earlier, when I said looks like Liz is on her death bed - thought he was gunna burst out crying. And when he asked if I liked her, & then proceeded to tell me how much he respected her, cos “she never moaned or became political”, it was time to leave him to get in with the job alone.


But there's a lot to be said for that attitude. Look at the politicians we've been lumbered with. 

Liz has been far more of a stable and strong presence for us than any elected person. Her absence will be felt.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

planetgeli said:


> She doesn't go down well in my part of Wales, I know that. Or at least my school. Genuinely shocked and pleased by the proportion of people at my school, quite straight people, who couldn't give a fuck or dared to murmur "about time".


i wasn't sure where my colleagues stood quite but i'm confident now i don't work with royalists


----------



## Ĝasper (Sep 8, 2022)

random unmarked jeeps with blue rope dangling around driving into the royal estate.. riveting news here


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> But there's a lot to be said for that attitude. Look at the politicians we've been lumbered with.
> 
> Liz has been far more of a stable and strong presence for us than any elected person. Her absence will be felt.


fucking cast her down into the lower rings of hell the shit she's presided over in the last 70 years


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Witchell has pretty much given it away now.
> 
> No hospital.
> No intervention.
> ...


Takeaway ordered
Majestic wine delivery due shortly
Amazon order of vhs to dvd player ordered.


----------



## oryx (Sep 8, 2022)

Going to be the week of all weeks to bury bad news...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Takeaway ordered
> Majestic wine delivery due shortly
> Amazon order of vhs to dvd player ordered.


think i'll pop into the offie on the way back, think mrs model has some bubbly but another bottle won't go amiss


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 8, 2022)

Ĝasper said:


> View attachment 341609random unmarked jeeps with blue rope dangling around driving into the royal estate.. riveting news here


Drag the corpse round Longleat for the lions?


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

Oh, FFS!



> Conspiracy theorists are also following the story with great interest. Most aren't particularly concerned about the queen's well-being, however. They're floating a number of theories about what's "really" going on and coming up with truly wild speculations.
> 
> Among the more popular theories is that the queen is already dead and has been so for years.
> 
> ...





			News of Queen Elizabeth’s impending death puts conspiracy theorists, QAnon believers on high alert
		


They just don't stop.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Hardly anyone at Buck Pal? View attachment 341608



Shut up it's a massive crowd.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Hardly anyone at Buck Pal? View attachment 341608



Ah good, I mean I expect loads of people will end up there with flowers and god knows what else (no point pretending that my views on the monarchy are representative of the majority, however much I wish it so), but it does sound like it's raining fairly heavily which is going to put off a lot of people who might have casually stopped by there after work.


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

planetgeli said:


> She doesn't go down well in my part of Wales, I know that. Or at least my school. Genuinely shocked and pleased by the proportion of people at my school, quite straight people, who couldn't give a fuck or dared to murmur "about time".


My kid's school (in Wales) never once mentioned the Jubilee thank Christ, I was quite taken aback to hear about the level of stuff happening elsewhere.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Oh, FFS!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



'96 year old dies' does seem a bit unlikely to be fair.


----------



## jakejb79 (Sep 8, 2022)

Reading comments on Facebook, why do people hate Meghan so much?    Not a word about the activities of Prince Andrew


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Ah good, I mean I expect loads of people will end up there with flowers and god knows what else (no point pretending that my views on the monarchy are representative of the majority, however much I wish it so), but it does sound like it's raining fairly heavily which is going to put off a lot of people who might have casually stopped by there after work.


it's putting me off going home a bit. but i want to get to the shop before all the cava and prosecco's gone


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Can't see this being good for the rate of inflation what with all the fuckwit royalists forking out for those commemorative plates and shit


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

jakejb79 said:


> Reading comments on Facebook, why do people hate Meghan so much?    Not a word about the activities of Prince Andrew


because they're racist wankers

next


----------



## souljacker (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> think i'll pop into the offie on the way back, think mrs model has some bubbly but another bottle won't go amiss


I really didn't want to drink today but fuck it. If they announce it before the offie shuts I'm going to get on it.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

58 minutes to go.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

jakejb79 said:


> Reading comments on Facebook, why do people hate Meghan so much?    Not a word about the activities of Prince Andrew


It’s because being African American is worse than being a rapey paedophile.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> 58 minutes to go.


the race is on


----------



## Ranbay (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 8, 2022)

The replies to this are pretty


jakejb79 said:


> Reading comments on Facebook, why do people hate Meghan so much?    Not a word about the activities of Prince Andrew


Well the replies to this tweet are asking pretty much the same, and are quite something (This is the Patronella of Johnson affair fame)



She had to admit Andrew should also need forgiveness later after asking why he wasn't mentioned first.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 8, 2022)

jakejb79 said:


> Reading comments on Facebook, why do people hate Meghan so much?    Not a word about the activities of Prince Andrew


Not sure if you’ve noticed, but this country is quite racist.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Ah good, I mean I expect loads of people will end up there with flowers and god knows what else (no point pretending that my views on the monarchy are representative of the majority, however much I wish it so), but it does sound like it's raining fairly heavily which is going to put off a lot of people who might have casually stopped by there after work.



To be honest, although the views on here will obviously not be representative of the majority, I think the 'camping out in front of the palace gates' crowd is even less representative. 'Oh that's a bit of a shame' will probably be the most common sort of response I'd say.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 8, 2022)

I won't believe it til it actually happens to that otherwordly old bastard.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 8, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> To be honest, although the views on here will obviously not be representative of the majority, I think the 'camping out in front of the palace gates' crowd is even less representative. 'Oh that's a bit of a shame' will probably be the most common sort of response I'd say.


Nah, by the time she’s actually dead and we’re officially mourning, this country is going to go fucking insane. There will be millions on the streets up and down the land.


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 8, 2022)

Could’ve done this when the weather was decent. What use is a day off now?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

All the twitter haters on here just don't know what wonders they're missing in there...


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 8, 2022)

Also if ten days of mourning starts tomorrow then we lose two weekends to it.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

The daily mail will likely be foraging spicy comments from here to pad out a hate article


----------



## Gromit (Sep 8, 2022)

jakejb79 said:


> Reading comments on Facebook, why do people hate Meghan so much?


Suits


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> It pleases me that it is pissing down.





TopCat said:


> Lashing down in London.



Great idea for a song to play at the funeral


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> The daily mail will likely be foraging spicy comments from here to pad out a hate article


That'll learn that Mr La Rouge for using his real name on here!


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Harry is going to turn up in his mums Escort shortly I reckon.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 8, 2022)

Rumour that, Paddington Bear, gets to make the official announcement.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

I am impressed with witchells ability to produce hours of filler


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Nah, by the time she’s actually dead and we’re officially mourning, this country is going to go fucking insane. There will be millions on the streets up and down the land.



There'll be enough that they'll be able to hype it as a massive outbreak of national mourning for sure. It won't be anywhere near a majority of people though IMO.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> All the twitter haters on here just don't know what wonders they're missing in there...
> 
> View attachment 341612


 when you've ran out of things to say . .


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

I’ve fucking had enough says queen 

You and me kid, you and me


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Witchell has pretty much given it away now.
> 
> No hospital.
> No intervention.
> ...


Yeah they've ben finding all sorts of different ways to make it obvious all afternoon, as Operation 'There was an old lady who swallowed a horse' drags on. 

Running a special programme all afternoon and the change of attire was all that was really needed as far as clues go.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> I am impressed with witchells ability to produce hours of filler



He's been reporting on fuck all for about thirty years he ought to be good at it by now!


----------



## editor (Sep 8, 2022)

All the info you could possibly need about what happens next 









						What happens when the Queen dies - ‘Operation London Bridge’ explained
					

What happens when the Queen passes?




					www.independent.co.uk


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

I have to admit, the RAF private jet laid on for me to go to my dads deathbed was welcomed.

Oh hang on…


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Hardly anyone at Buck Pal? View attachment 341608


Someone get a megaphone and shout "SHE NOT THERE."


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

Just been told our Labour Party meeting will be cancelled if she carks it.  I wouldn’t care but tonight’s the night we get to vote on sacking our mp


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

editor said:


> All the info you could possibly need about what happens next
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Is that all the shite about trains going at 10mph?


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> Yeah they've ben finding all sorts of different ways to make it obvious all afternoon, as Operation 'There was an old lady who swallowed a horse' drags on.
> 
> Running a special programme all afternoon and the change of attire was all that was really needed as far as clues go.



I tuned in late so missed the earlier signs that more perceptive people like yourself found so obvious.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

[NOTE: Do Not Run Until Fucking Queen Is Dead Or People Will Lose Their Shit] Queen Elizabeth Dead At 96
					

[ED. — DO NOT PUBLISH UNTIL AWFUL LADY IN THE GROUND]




					www.theonion.com
				




As Britain’s first lady queen [PROBABLY LOOK THIS UP], she had a memorable reign, with other significant events of her life including [LIST WHATEVER WE HAVE TIME FOR, PUBLICATION URGENT BUT ONLY UPON SURE THING SHE FINALLY FUCKING DEAD]. In the nation’s capital, Parliament [CONGRESS?] held a period of mourning, while U.K. Prime Minister [INSERT WHICHEVER DUMBFUCK PRIME MINISTER NOW] reflected on her long life, saying [COPY QUOTES FROM BBC].


----------



## Numbers (Sep 8, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


> The replies to this are pretty
> 
> Well the replies to this tweet are asking pretty much the same, and are quite something (This is the Patronella of Johnson affair fame)
> 
> ...



It was great how she was answering tweets to begin but then went quiet.

Twitter is nuts, from that one I looked at others, glad I don't spend any time on there.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

If she’s not gone by now, the speedball will go in this evening

Now we have got everyone out of bed and into planes, we Can’t have all this expense go to waste can we Liz?


----------



## pogofish (Sep 8, 2022)

Dogsauce said:


> Also if ten days of mourning starts tomorrow then we lose two weekends to it.



And two weekends of working events that I didn't particularly want to be bothered with might be up the spout!


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

Following Truss' illegitimate "election" to the PMship  the Vermin Party membership (were they also responsible for electing the next monarch)   would likely go for the sweaty nonce before jug ears.  On that basis we should thank god (assuming there was one) for the unwritten constitution and tradition!  What a sick sick joke a constitutional monarchy really is.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

It does seem a bit odd that Harry has gone up without Meghan, they're travelling with their Netflix crew and this would be a perfect photo-op... I doubt she'd miss it if all was true. Not really her style.

Maybe it's all horseshit?


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 8, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


> The replies to this are pretty
> 
> Well the replies to this tweet are asking pretty much the same, and are quite something (This is the Patronella of Johnson affair fame)
> 
> ...




This is Woodrow Wyatt's daughter, Robert Wyatt's ("you'd be a Communist if your Uncle was Woodrow Wyatt") cousin.

Scum basically.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Christ there's some credulous fuckwits out there..


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

The nonce has turned up


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

oryx said:


> Going to be the week of all weeks to bury bad news...


I don't think she gets buried, just embalmed and stuck in a niche.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Sep 8, 2022)

Facts...

Redacted


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Get the bunting out


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Christ there's some credulous fuckwits out there..
> 
> View attachment 341613


Florists are rubbing their hands with glee


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

The sons will have been gathered to have procedure and protocol explained. The Crown cannot be vacant.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

It's always seemed rather vacant to me.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Man who typically sneers at 'snowflakes' demands you stop making Queen jokes
					

A man who usually moans that 'you can't joke about anything these days' is begging you to stop making a joke he personally doesn't like.




					newsthump.com


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> If she’s not gone by now, the speedball will go in this evening
> 
> Now we have got everyone out of bed and into planes, we Can’t have all this expense go to waste can we Liz?


Given the way her pa was euthanized I'm sure Charles will demand precedent be followed


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 8, 2022)

Saunders said:


> The media making such a thing about the family travelling to be with her, I’d imagine they may not announce anything until they’re all there, to mitigate making mileage out of which didn’t make it in time.


I reckon they’re having a crisis meeting because her latest will left everything to a corgi sanctuary…


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Given the way her pa was euthanized I'm sure Charles will demand precedent be followed


The Sandringham pathway?


----------



## oryx (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The sons will have been gathered to have procedure and protocol explained. The Crown cannot be vacant.


The national mourning that's going to be forced on us is bad enough (at least ten times worse than Diana). To be expected though.

But the coronation of Charles is going to irk me more, because we should be getting rid of this fucking feudal institution, not celebrating it.


----------



## rekil (Sep 8, 2022)

You're all disgusting. An elderly woman has died. Dial down the performative faux republicanism for one day and show a bit of respect...



Spoiler



....for the heretical abomination that's on its way to an eternity of torment in the fires of hell.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Oh - turned out nice again


----------



## Gromit (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The sons will have been gathered to have procedure and protocol explained. The Crown cannot be vacant.


The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir _instantaneously_. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.

Terry Pratchett


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

6pm rolls around.

Queenie appears on all television sets in the land, even the ones that were off or on other channels.

Announces immediate abolition of parliament and all members of parliament are to be put to the sword.

Absolute monarchy is restored.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

oryx said:


> The national mourning that's going to be forced on us is bad enough (at least ten times worse than Diana). To be expected though.
> 
> But the coronation of Charles is going to irk me more, because we should be getting rid of this fucking feudal institution, not celebrating it.


Charles must never be king


----------



## Cloo (Sep 8, 2022)

Anyone made the ‘Schroedinger’s queen’ joke yet?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> 6pm rolls around.
> 
> Queenie appears on all television sets in the land, even the ones that were off or on other channels.
> 
> ...


I'm with her till the last sentence


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

its looking like a Netflix night for me.  Anything recommended?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Cloo said:


> Anyone made the ‘Schroedinger’s queen’ joke yet?


Yup


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

oryx said:


> The national mourning that's going to be forced on us is bad enough (at least ten times worse than Diana). To be expected though.
> 
> But the coronation of Charles is going to irk me more, because we should be getting rid of this fucking feudal institution, not celebrating it.


Wondering if steveseagull might need to start a thread solely dedicated to images of North Korean style orchestrated national mourning memes?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> its looking like a Netflix night for me.  Anything recommended?


Have you done ozark?


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> when you've ran out of things to say . .



If only there was someone who could hypnotise those dogs  to show grief at  the funeral service. It would be great if such a person was already in Scotland...

Cometh the hour.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

tim said:


> I don't think she gets buried, just embalmed and stuck in a niche.


Throw her in a ditch followed by a bag of lime. Job done.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> its looking like a Netflix night for me.  Anything recommended?


The Crown?


----------



## kenny g (Sep 8, 2022)

Time to start queuing outside town halls to sign books of condolence.


----------



## oryx (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> its looking like a Netflix night for me.  Anything recommended?


Don't have Netflix, but thank fuck we've got Prime and the US Open is on.

Might even have to watch the mixed doubles, in case iPlayer isn't available.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> when you've ran out of things to say . .



Sadness in their eyes


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

A380 said:


> If only there was someone who could hypnotise those dogs  to show grief at  the funeral service. It would be great if such a person was already in Scotland...
> 
> Cometh the hour.


But there FUCKEN ISN’T!


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> But the FUCKEN ISN’T!



is tho.


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Have you done ozark?


Aye - absolutely loved it - thanks though


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> But the FUCKEN ISN’T!


You won't regain those powers by stressing about it


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

🤬


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Crowd looking heavily saturated outside Buck pally now...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> Aye - absolutely loved it - thanks though


Shooter? Tosh but enjoyable


----------



## jakethesnake (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Depends on the festival. Which one?


It's called Going Feral for Mental Health, in Hereford, all punk line-up with Culture Shock and RDF headlining... I was (am) really looking forward to it... i've been working all fucking summer and this was the first bit of fun in ages...


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Charles must never be king


He might be already...


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Crowd looking heavily saturated outside Buck pally now...
> 
> View attachment 341615


Someone should drive past with a loud hailer shouting “SHE’S NOT THERE!”


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Shooter? Tosh but enjoyable



I bailed on that after 10 minutes, will give it another go.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 8, 2022)

Ah fuck it, I might have to go for a pint tonight, wasn't really planning to.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 8, 2022)

Sky News man just reported that 'dockers are concerned about the Queens health'.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> 6pm rolls around.
> 
> Queenie appears on all television sets in the land, even the ones that were off or on other channels.
> 
> ...


She would appear on TV as she was at 25 flanked by two eight foot high battle robots...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> I bailed on that after 10 minutes, will give it another go.


It's not as good as the books it's based on but it'll do for the next couple of days. Blank spot's definitely good (maybe black spot) and call my agent, the French one is fantastic


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 8, 2022)

Held out all this time just so she could see the back of Boris Johnson. OK to die now.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Someone should drive past with a loud hailer shouting “SHE’S NOT THERE!”


Post relates to an earlier pun mate and that has already been suggested. 

Was that you leaving Balmoral in the white Nissan Micra about 4.34 pm?


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

20 mins to go till the big one drops, it's gonna be a banger of a 6 o'clock news


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Crowd looking heavily saturated outside Buck pally now...
> 
> View attachment 341615


 
2 hours later


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 8, 2022)

Don’t have a functioning TV at home, but I guess there’s probably lots of helicopter footage of buildings and trees to no particular end.


----------



## davesgcr (Sep 8, 2022)

kenny g said:


> Time to start queuing outside town halls to sign books of condolence.



The advice was , to have loose sheet books , so offensive comments can be removed.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 8, 2022)

'I remember exactly where I was when I heard the queen had died'.

Posting on here.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> It does seem a bit odd that Harry has gone up without Meghan, they're travelling with their Netflix crew and this would be a perfect photo-op... I doubt she'd miss it if all was true. Not really her style.
> 
> Maybe it's all horseshit?


That reads like misogynist Daily Mail bullshit.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Flavour said:


> 20 mins to go till the big one drops, it's gonna be a banger of a 6 o'clock news


Harry's not there yet. He's going to turn up an hour late after stopping in Perth for a bigmac with them all waiting whist shaking their heads saying he's just like his mother.

7pm I reckon now


----------



## bmd (Sep 8, 2022)

She's dead.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

I see that royal lickspittle teuchter has fallen silent, probably blubbing into his herbal tea


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 8, 2022)

bmd said:


> She's dead.


Who says?


----------



## oryx (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> when you've ran out of things to say . .



Showed this to my OH and when he'd finished laughing, his comment was 'No shit, Sherlock'.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

oryx said:


> The national mourning that's going to be forced on us is bad enough (at least ten times worse than Diana). To be expected though.
> 
> But the coronation of Charles is going to irk me more, because we should be getting rid of this fucking feudal institution, not celebrating it.



Well, quite. I hadn't realised how many fans of Charles there were on this site.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Who says?


Pogofish about an hour ago.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

The Vatican will be worried about losing the ratings war. Look out for the Pope rising a dinosaur through St Peter's Square about 1805 hrs.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Harry's not there yet. He's going to turn up an hour late after stopping in Perth for a bigmac with them all waiting whikst shaking their heads saying he's just like his mother.
> 
> 7pm I reckon now


Pizza express is more the royal restaurant of choice


----------



## redsquirrel (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> But there FUCKEN ISN’T!


Come on Danny you could on a nice little earner there.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

davesgcr said:


> The advice was , to have loose sheet books , so offensive comments can be removed.


_'Here's the book king charlie - heavily redacted'_


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 8, 2022)

Now they've got some airhead on talking about people 'passing'. So excited by the pointlessness of her existence that she's just stumbled out the relevation that 'Queen Albert' built Balmoral in the mid 'nineteen hundreds'. Also, the queen was seen wearing a tartan skirt recently, which shows how much her heart is in the Highlands.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead apparently, stroke, will be announced on 6 o'clock news


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

A380 said:


> Man who typically sneers at 'snowflakes' demands you stop making Queen jokes
> 
> 
> A man who usually moans that 'you can't joke about anything these days' is begging you to stop making a joke he personally doesn't like.
> ...


That's gonna be Laurence Fox on twitter very soon...


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

Just been to Lidl for champagne. Ironically it’s German week beginning today


----------



## bmd (Sep 8, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Who says?


 
Me, in that post you quoted. But she is definitely dead.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Fuck it. I'm out of crisps and the bbc have just used the words "encouraging news". Off to the co-op.


----------



## DietCokeGirl (Sep 8, 2022)

Stopped by Buck House on the way home from work. Massive press Village set up, fencing in place to manage expected crowds, some hard core royal fans gathering, flags still at full maste thus far.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Just been to Lidl for champagne. Ironically it’s German week beginning today


Yup. I got some of those nice ham hocks last night.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

I think if she was actually dead and there was a short term embargo in place for 1800 some non-UK media outlet would have run with it by now.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Dead apparently, stroke, will be announced on 6 o'clock news




What are we stroking?


----------



## nogojones (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Is that all the shite about trains going at 10mph?


They pick up their pace just because they turn her heat mat off?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

bmd said:


> Me, in that post you quoted. But she is definitely dead.


A trusted news source


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> What are we stroking?


An empty crisp packet for 11 minutes and then I'm definitely heading up the road.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> Now they've got some airhead on talking about people 'passing'. So excited by the pointlessness of her existence that she's just stumbled out the relevation that 'Queen Albert' built Balmoral in the mid 'nineteen hundreds'. Also, the queen was seen wearing a tartan skirt recently, which shows how much her heart is in the Highlands.


I quite liked ' she loves Balmoral because of the changing seasons'. 
Cos that doesn't happen anywhere else!


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Someone should drive past with a loud hailer shouting “SHE’S NOT THERE!”





> Dystopiary said:  Someone get a megaphone and shout "SHE NOT THERE."


----------



## weltweit (Sep 8, 2022)

Similar to a Rook, the Queen can move vertically or horizontally across the board in any direction for any number of squares that are open. Unlike Knight's however, the Queen cannot go through any other pieces. In addition, the Queen can move diagonally across the board in the same ways that a Bishop can.

She has options is all I am saying


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

At the next big sporting event thousands of England supporters will get through the first line of the national anthem and then all in chorus go "KING! SAVE THE KING! SORRY!"


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Sorry, missed your post.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

england are deffo gonna win the World Cup now as well, nailed on


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> I see that royal lickspittle teuchter has fallen silent, probably blubbing into his herbal tea


----------



## weepiper (Sep 8, 2022)

Still, on the plus side, the line about crushing the rebellious Scots in the national anthem will rhyme again.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> That reads like misogynist Daily Mail bullshit.



How is it misogynist? Her hubby's just as bad, does that make me a misandrist as well? They're taking private jets to climate change conferences where they barely mention the climate with a Netflix crew in tow for their $50m doco about their 'struggle for freedom' and comparing herself to Nelson Mandela in recent interviews (which didnt exactly go down well with the Mandela family). Anyway, that's for another thread. This is a happy one.


----------



## Santino (Sep 8, 2022)

Santino said:


> I know an academic who's lined up to speak to the BBC in the event of certain newsworthy things happening and they'll be paid for that.


This guy's been activated.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

Petcha said:


> How is it misogynist? Her hubby's just as bad, does that make me a misandrist as well? They're taking private jets to climate change conferences where they barely mention the climate with a Netflix crew in tow for their $50m doco about their 'struggle for freedom' and comparing herself to Nelson Mandela in recent interviews (which didnt exactly go down well with the Mandela family). Anyway, that's for another thread. This is a happy one.


I don't care about either of them, but the way she gets singled out is shit.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Has donald trump barged in with something crass to make it all about him?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Here's a  suggestion for those clever 4 panel meme creators:

Top left image: queen's picture from 1952 stamp.

Top right image: queen's picture from 1979 stamp.

Bottom left image: queen's picture from 2000 stamp.

Bottom right image: queen's picture from 2022 stamp - but rotate 90 degrees.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> I don't care about either of them, but the way she gets singled out is shit.


She’s the only half decent one. She at least reads books.


----------



## Santino (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Here's a  suggestion for those clever 4 panel meme creators:
> 
> Top left image: queen's picture from 1952 stamp.
> 
> ...


Is this Loss?


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> I don't care about either of them, but the way she gets singled out is shit.


Meghan dared to go further than Diana in rejecting the rules and regulations and that is not "done".


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Sorry to spoil the fun here, but what if she gets better? Like she may have got a new Rabbit and just had an exhausting wank and appeared close to checking out of the gig, but a bottle of Lucozade brings her round and she soldiers on?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Fuck it. I'm out of crisps and the bbc have just used the words "encouraging news". Off to the co-op.


Don't worry, you can pause the telly. We promise not to post any spoilers.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Can't see this being good for the rate of inflation what with all the fuckwit royalists forking out for those commemorative plates and shit



Not to mention all the Americans forking out for commemorative plates too.


----------



## Numbers (Sep 8, 2022)

We’ve started following the news.  On ITV the studio presenters and field reporters are all dressed in black.  It may be on this thread but it’s fast moving - is there a reason why they’re all wearing black?


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 8, 2022)

2 mins til House of Games!


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Numbers said:


> We’ve started following the news.  On ITV the studio presenters and field reporters are all dressed in black.  It may be on this thread but it’s fast moving - is there a reason why they’re all wearing black?


I wear the black 
For the poor and the beaten down 
Livin' in the hopeless 
Hungry side of town 
I wear it for the prisoner 
Who has long paid for his crime 
But is there because 
He's a victim of the times


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Sorry to spoil the fun here, but what if she gets better? Like she may have got a new Rabbit and just had an exhausting wank and appeared close to checking out of the gig, but a bottle of Lucozade brings her round and she soldiers on?


I'll buy a 24 pack multi flavour box


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

I swear that on the radio just now they said that someone called the prince Edward had just turned up with Joey Essex!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Church bells ringing in Godalming!


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Church bells ringing in Godalming!



Invasion!


----------



## Skim (Sep 8, 2022)

Numbers said:


> We’ve started following the news.  On ITV the studio presenters and field reporters are all dressed in black.  It may be on this thread but it’s fast moving - is there a reason why they’re all wearing black?











						'London Bridge is down': the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death
					

The long read: She is venerated around the world. She has outlasted 12 US presidents. She stands for stability and order. But her kingdom is in turmoil, and her subjects are in denial that her reign will ever end. That’s why the palace has a plan.




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Meghan dared to go further than Diana in rejecting the rules and regulations and that is not "done".


And as others have pointed out, there's definitely racism involved with the media focus on her.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 8, 2022)

The news on lbc hasnt started yet but a 'Special' about her with Andrew Marr and Sheila Fogarty is on, it's got to be coming soon.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Right back in a bit. Just hold out Liz. 

Gonna check the card section and buy all the potato snacks they have in stock.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

Black suits and ties on the BBC news I see


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Numbers said:


> We’ve started following the news.  On ITV the studio presenters and field reporters are all dressed in black.  It may be on this thread but it’s fast moving - is there a reason why they’re all wearing black?


It's very slimming.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Invasion!


Don't panic!


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Numbers said:


> We’ve started following the news.  On ITV the studio presenters and field reporters are all dressed in black.  It may be on this thread but it’s fast moving - is there a reason why they’re all wearing black?


They don't want the Mail etc to bad mouth them for not being in black when the inevitable happens.

Peter Sissons was criticised for days for wearing a purple tie when the Queen Mum passed.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Taps watch


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

Apparently Charles, as heir to the throne, has the responsibility of wringing her neck to make sure she is dead


----------



## pesh (Sep 8, 2022)

she's late.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 8, 2022)

the late queen


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Sadness in their eyes


raises the question what do they know?


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

So the only unknowns are where Harry is, how he's travelling and when he's arriving. We can't be told that she's already dead (and that Charles is already King) until Harry gets there. UNbelievable. SUCH an attention whore. He has so much in common with his wife. (Is this enough for another episode of The Royals?)


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## weepiper (Sep 8, 2022)

From my Twitter 🤣


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

I’m gagging for a drinky here, hurry up


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 8, 2022)

Had anyone checked on Sasaferrato yet?


----------



## Numbers (Sep 8, 2022)

two sheds said:


> the late queen


Decent name for a pub.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 8, 2022)

Nice 3 birds with one RPG hit you missed there danny la rouge


----------



## stavros (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> So the only unknowns are where Harry is, how he's travelling and when he's arriving.


He's making sure Meghan's alibi is rock solid.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> So the only unknowns are where Harry is, how he's travelling and when he's arriving. We can't be told that she's already dead (and that Charles is already King) until Harry gets there. UNbelievable. SUCH an attention whore. He has so much in common with his wife. (Is this enough for another episode of The Royals?)


Give it a fucking rest.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Right, I'm going out with Mr A319 before they shut the pups and restaurants.


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341612



🤢🤮



jakethesnake said:


> It's called Going Feral for Mental Health, in Hereford, all punk line-up with Culture Shock and RDF headlining... I was (am) really looking forward to it... i've been working all fucking summer and this was the first bit of fun in ages...



Surely they won't cancel things like that. Mad Dog Collective are playing, worth seeing.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

It'll be dark by the time Harry turns up.



beesonthewhatnow said:


> Had anyone checked on Sasaferrato yet?




Apparently that's why Harry's not gone direct. I'm glad Sas can be there for the passing of Windsor.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

A rainbow has just shone over buck house. That's breaking news folks!


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 8, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> Surely they won't cancel things like that.


I mean it's up to the organisers innit?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> It'll be dark by the time Harry turns up.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Can’t Harry just hijack an apache?

He’ll never be king with such a work shy attitude, fucking millennial.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 8, 2022)

.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

A380 said:


> Right, I'm going out with Mr A319 before they shut the pups and restaurants.


Our co-op was rammed. No bread or milk and most the booze rifled. Plenty of Sympathy cards left. That's Wales for you.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> A rainbow has just shone over buck house. That's breaking news folks!


that's the Queen Mum that is. Looking down on us all. Gawd bless 'er.


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

ITV News, the clouds have just opened and a rainbow has a appeared over Buckingham Pallace.

I'm going to vomit.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Nice 3 birds with one RPG hit you missed there danny la rouge



pogofish is much closer than me!  Even geminisnake could get there quicker.


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Shooter? Tosh but enjoyable


Not seen that Pickers.  As a leading intellectual and historian im  a bit offput by the title.  Maybe i should challenge myself and go for it though, especially on the basis of a heads up from another intellectual and historian. ;-D  Thank you my friend.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 8, 2022)

She'll probably be 'OK' and live to be about 110 or something


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Journos frozen out:


----------



## Fez909 (Sep 8, 2022)

I work in telly and the advertisers are all cancelling their campaigns. Which would normally be great (ad free TV) but there's gonna be nowt but wall-to-wall coverage of Elizardbeth, so it's probably best to just go outside.


----------



## rekil (Sep 8, 2022)

Send Michael Fagan in.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Beryl from Acorn Cottage says she's pretty sure we'll know by nine.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

8am innit. It was always 8am.


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> So the only unknowns are where Harry is, how he's travelling and when he's arriving. We can't be told that she's already dead (and that Charles is already King) until Harry gets there. UNbelievable. SUCH an attention whore. He has so much in common with his wife. (Is this enough for another episode of The Royals?)


Fuck off back to the daily mail


----------



## UnderAnOpenSky (Sep 8, 2022)

Do we get a day off work if she dies?


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> Fuck off back to the daily mail


Are you 12?


----------



## DietCokeGirl (Sep 8, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> She'll probably be 'OK' and live to be about 110 or something


There's no way they've built all this infrastructure round Buck House for press and crowds for a false alert. Announcement must be due this evening.


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Are you 12?


It is true that a 12 year old could spot the bigotry in your statement


----------



## Indeliblelink (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> 'Meet liz truss and die'


 Let's not forget the time that the presenter collapsed in one of the Tory party leadership debates. Truss has got form.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Are you 12?


Are you a *dickhead?



*Rhetorical question.


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

UnderAnOpenSky said:


> Do we get a day off work if she dies?


This is the BIG question. Any news?


----------



## Glitter (Sep 8, 2022)

Looby said:


> Mr Looby reckons 10 days. He’s a bit pissed he’ll miss his home match on Saturday.



I really don’t want to run on Sunday so she’d really be helping me out.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

magneze said:


> This is the BIG question. Any news?


State funeral a week Monday. We all get the day off. 

/I reckon. 

That might mean they have to delay the announcement to tomorrow?


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

magneze said:


> This is the BIG question. Any news?


I suspect that there will be a lot of, "You can take leave from your own allocation" from companies in this economy.


----------



## bmd (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> A trusted news source


 It was the bloke from Ferrero Rocher.


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I suspect that there will be a lot of, "You can take leave from your own allocation" from companies in this economy.


One of the few benefits of being a civil servant


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

News banging on about H&M making Brenda's life difficult. What about the fucking nonce FFS.


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

I wish she would hurry up and get on with it. I'm bored now.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

We’ll know when Wikipedia updates.


Neither rain now snow will stop them updating the info bar.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Give it a fucking rest.


I thought DC was being sarcastic!


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

Funeral won’t be an official public holiday, have to wait for the coronation for one


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Dystopiary said:


> I thought DC was being sarcastic!


He's got form.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> We’ll know when Wikipedia updates.
> 
> 
> Neither rain now snow will stop them updating the info bar.


There are 1,500 Wikipedians all set ready and prepared to press "edit" so they can change "Queen Elizabeth is" to "...was."


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> One of the few benefits of being a civil servant


I'm NHS administration so we might get an extra 15 minutes lunch if we're lucky 😂.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 8, 2022)

Boom


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> News banging on about H&M making Brenda's life difficult. What about the fucking nonce FFS.


To be fair, the queen did make a very generous donation to (one of) his victims.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> So the only unknowns are where Harry is, how he's travelling and when he's arriving. We can't be told that she's already dead (and that Charles is already King) until Harry gets there. UNbelievable. SUCH an attention whore. He has so much in common with his wife. (Is this enough for another episode of The Royals?)


Poor lad was very fond of his Nanna its only right that they wait for his late arrival. Its also not his fault the other orcs ostracised him in the way they did for choosing his heart over hereditary duty. He has his mother's spirit and her Ford Escort which now has Sass in the passenger seat and teuchter still to pick up.

Have some patience and get some perspective whilst you're waiting. 

I have it from a reliable source that they will be picking teuch up from Aberdeen Station at 20:07.

They will all be at Balmoral and ready to kiss the Kings ring by 9pm.

Then off-licences all over the UK will close for 10 days restocking.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Here we go!


----------



## Indeliblelink (Sep 8, 2022)

She's gorn.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 8, 2022)

It’s over


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

UnderAnOpenSky said:


> Do we get a day off work if she dies?


10 days off.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Nash anthem. Hope everyone's erect.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Funeral won’t be an official public holiday, have to wait for the coronation for one


Noooo! I'll be fucking retired by then and doing nothing but dossing about anyway.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

RTE 6 o'clock news have just confirmed that she died this afternoon.


----------



## souljacker (Sep 8, 2022)

Pub!


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

Apparently she's dead.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

I knew I'd be on the bloody train...


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

souljacker said:


> Pub!



Jesus I wouldn’t, drink at home for some peace and quiet


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

That's all folks.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Gone


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

Oh good work wikipedia. Changed already.


----------



## souljacker (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Jesus I wouldn’t, drink at home for some peace and quiet


Ok. Offie!


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

carked ages ago as suggested by Pogo and others


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 8, 2022)

Who had 6:30?


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

rolling a big zoot


----------



## bmd (Sep 8, 2022)

Does this mean The Antiques Roadshow gets interesting again?


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

"The King and Queen Consort" - that's how quickly things move. 

Charles and Camilla are our monarchs for that is how it works.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

MSNBC just called it.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 8, 2022)

Off to the pub then


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Now that we don't have a monarch, does that mean we are a republic?


----------



## not a trot (Sep 8, 2022)

Beebs just one into full mourning mode.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Sweet FA (Sep 8, 2022)

Yes.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Radio 4 has just started playing the national anthem.


----------



## Lorca (Sep 8, 2022)

Hopefully, we'll all get a bank holiday for the funeral, it's only right.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Now that we don't have a monarch, does that mean we are a republic?


Yes the revolution starts tonight


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Mini Fire is going to be distraught, she just thinks the Queen is a nice old lady.
> 
> I've tried to explain the whole parasite thing in a calm and measured fashion without shattering her world too much but not sure it sank in.
> 
> Should be easier with Charles.



A wailing and a gnashing of teeth.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

Christ rte have footage of her coronation. She looks about 12.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Now that we don't have a monarch, does that mean we are a republic?


We have a monarch


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Radio 4 has just started playing the national anthem.



What, god save the king?


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Now that we don't have a monarch, does that mean we are a republic?


The statement mentions "The King and Queen Consort". That's how quickly these things move.

We have Charles III (if that's the title he's chosen) and Camilla on the throne. It's done.


----------



## SE25 (Sep 8, 2022)

Salt the earth


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

Edited: late to the party. If that isn't poor phrasing.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> We have a monarch


Oh yeah... him


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

is it too early for a Martini ?


----------



## bellaozzydog (Sep 8, 2022)

Too much ?
 It’s Prosecco and dips we’re not posh


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

*"but the troubles in northern Ireland took up half her reign"*


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Poor old gall. 😢 

Crisps just don't seem to have that same taste anymore. Might open that bottle of Glenmorangie


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

By the way an exclusive.... the queen is dead.... it's official!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

On the plus side it will be many many years before we hear God save the Queen again, if ever


----------



## pesh (Sep 8, 2022)

can't find an inflatable E.T. for sale anywhere


----------



## Flavour (Sep 8, 2022)

Fuck I missed the announcement cos I'm already at the pub. Great stuff


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Thread dead.


----------



## Rebelda (Sep 8, 2022)

National anthem is a bit of a low blow innit


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> She'll probably be 'OK' and live to be about 110 or something


No, she was smothered by her son, the king


----------



## ddraig (Sep 8, 2022)

Whoooop!








						Queen Elizabeth II has died
					

Her son King Charles III pays tribute to his "beloved mother" who has died peacefully at Balmoral.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 8, 2022)

Glad she held on until Johnson was out.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 8, 2022)

The toadiness has begun..


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Thread dead.


We need a monarchist troll to liven it up


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

Champagne should be chilled in another hour

They’d better not cancel the Archers!


----------



## JimW (Sep 8, 2022)

We should still be fine for Mid-Autumn Festival here.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The statement mentions "The King and Queen Consort". That's how quickly these things move.
> 
> We have Charles III (if that's the title he's chosen) and Camilla on the throne. It's done.


It's like the Ring Magazine title in boxing, passed down from the one who beat the one who beat the one who...


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

Witchell now drinks the ritual cup of hemlock.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

Two-week media blackout for me. 

I have some good books.


----------



## bmd (Sep 8, 2022)

Actually pmsl that she's knocked off the day after Truss got in.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

Have some sympathy. She was a human being with a family and had the same emotions and fears as the rest of us


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Champagne should be chilled in another hour
> 
> They’d better not cancel the Archers!


They will! Sorry


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> News banging on about H&M making Brenda's life difficult. What about the fucking nonce FFS.


I’d have thought she was more of a Jaegger girl…


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

I am crying


----------



## redcogs (Sep 8, 2022)

someone needs to start a 'charlieboy's time is up thread'?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

From a chat of members in my union branch...


----------



## Epico (Sep 8, 2022)

At least she got one last hot girl summer.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

The rte obituary just mentioned Android's legal woes. Did UK TV?


----------



## Gerry1time (Sep 8, 2022)

I for one welcome our new big eared king.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> is it too early for a Martini ?


Nah!


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> The toadiness has begun..


When did it stop?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Has the Queen died?​


Yes


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

extra dry said:


> I am crying


With laughter?


----------



## extra dry (Sep 8, 2022)

ten days of morning and free food from Buckingham palace?


----------



## BoxRoom (Sep 8, 2022)

Fish supper tonight! It's what she would have wanted.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Looks like Charles has gone for Charles III.


----------



## smmudge (Sep 8, 2022)

Oh god, strap in folks this is going to be worse than anything else since.

They were clearly doing a "soft dead" announcement earlier today when they were just saying she was ill, when she was already dead. Public have to be primed for such awful news boohoo.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Charles is now King,  Right, I'm going off this monarchy malarkey!


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> someone needs to start a 'charlieboy's time is up thread'?


Keep up


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> someone needs to start a 'charlieboy's time is up thread'?


Thread 'Has the King died?' https://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/has-the-king-died.379366/


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 8, 2022)

Well, she managed to raise three kids who weren't nonces. 

And if she had Diana done in, she's now officially got away with it.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

Idris2002 said:


> The rte obituary just mentioned Android's legal woes. Did UK TV?


Though in fairness, when Teddy Kennedy died it took a long time for rte to mention Chappaquiddick - and the Kennedys are the Irish royal family, sort of.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm just waiting for the inevitable "you can't go on strike during a period of national mourning, it's disrespectful" outcry...


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

I inadvertently turned off the tv when it went into black mode. Not in good books.

Mrs SI in tears, genuinely showed me a tweet saying thank you ma'am from Paddington Bear. 

From Paddington Bear.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> I’m glad she died in her sleep peacefully. Just like my grandad did, not screaming like his passengers were



An oldie but a goodie


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

Fez909 said:


> I work in telly and the advertisers are all cancelling their campaigns. Which would normally be great (ad free TV) but there's gonna be nowt but wall-to-wall coverage of Elizardbeth, so it's probably best to just go outside.


We've got Netflix and a shit load of downloaded stuff we haven't watched yet.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Fuck me, we're back with the rainbow on telly!


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I inadvertently turned off the tv when it went into black mode. Not in good books.
> 
> Mrs SI in tears, genuinely showed me a tweet saying thank you ma'am from Paddington Bear.
> 
> From *Paddington Bear*.


That had Prince Andrews hand up it's Icarus mate


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

OMFG a rainbow next to the lowered flag, I think I am going to vomit


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> And if she had Diana done in, she's now officially got away with it.



I'd have a new found respect for her if she left a note admitting it, to be read on the event of her death.


----------



## jakejb79 (Sep 8, 2022)

Not sure how much longer he's going to last with hands like that.....


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

smmudge said:


> Oh god, strap in folks this is going to be worse than anything else since.
> 
> They were clearly doing a "soft dead" announcement earlier today when they were just saying she was ill, when she was already dead. Public have to be primed for such awful news boohoo.


Maybe she has been dead for a few days and it really was a waxwork in the truss photo  meaning truss isn't pm  but boris still is


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> I'm just waiting for the inevitable "you can't go on strike during a period of national mourning, it's disrespectful" outcry...


We're not striking. We're too grife-striken to work.


----------



## pesh (Sep 8, 2022)

Dawn of the Dead vibes outside the palace


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

"Elizabeth the Great, as she'll probably be known".
FFS


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

I've got ' don't stop me now ' as an earworm now pesh


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

Nicholas Witchell is in full North Korea mode


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Have some sympathy. She was a human being with a family and had the same emotions and fears as the rest of us


^
Not sure if serious


----------



## DJWrongspeed (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Sep 8, 2022)

Lizzy II- Electric Boogaloo


----------



## JimW (Sep 8, 2022)

Is it wise to let a spaniel run the country? Not as thick as Truss obviously, but might be distracted by tennis balls.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

No doubt many full-throated defenders of Freedom Of Speech(TM) are going to have their principles put to the test over the coming days/weeks....


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I inadvertently turned off the tv when it went into black mode. Not in good books.
> 
> Mrs SI in tears, genuinely showed me a tweet saying thank you ma'am from Paddington Bear.
> 
> From Paddington Bear.


I cried at Paddington 2 tbf. In the cinema. It was so embarrassing.


Epona said:


> OMFG a rainbow next to the lowered flag, I think I am going to vomit


Not surprised the universe itself has lost it's mind, everyone else has.


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

ffs, those bloody liberals in the RMT have called the next two strike days off out of respect.  

Mick fucking Lynch, I knew you couldn’t trust him.


----------



## gosub (Sep 8, 2022)

jakethesnake said:


> I'm meant to be going to a festival tomorrow... if she carks it, will it be cancelled??


I can't see Gary doing that


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Well, she managed to raise three kids who weren't nonces.
> 
> And if she had Diana done in, she's now officially got away with it.



“three kids not caught yet”


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 8, 2022)

smmudge said:


> Oh god, strap in folks this is going to be worse than anything else since.
> 
> They were clearly doing a "soft dead" announcement earlier today when they were just saying she was ill, when she was already dead. Public have to be primed for such awful news boohoo.


I thought soft dead happens several weeks afterwards, not right at the beginning.


----------



## ffsear (Sep 8, 2022)

Rip X


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> I'm just waiting for the inevitable "you can't go on strike during a period of national mourning, it's disrespectful" outcry...


I think the next rail strike is Monday, I can just imagine the outrage if that interferes with the bringing her body back to London


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> ffs, those bloody liberals in the RMT have called the next two strike days off out of respect.
> 
> Mick fucking Lynch, I knew you couldn’t trust him.


Whaaaaaaaat?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

ffsear said:


> Rip X


Who's X ?


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> I'm just waiting for the inevitable "you can't go on strike during a period of national mourning, it's disrespectful" outcry...


RMT have called off two days on 15th and 17th.


----------



## Louis MacNeice (Sep 8, 2022)

I have just put on some great 70s reggae to drown this out : Mikey Dred World War 3.

Cheers and god fuck the king - Louis MacNeice


----------



## bmd (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> ffs, those bloody liberals in the RMT have called the next two strike days off out of respect.
> 
> Mick fucking Lynch, I knew you couldn’t trust hiM.


Ffs


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Moist crowds still gathered in damp numbers


----------



## a_chap (Sep 8, 2022)

The graphic the RSPB used had me choking back a tear 









						Remembering our patron, The Queen | The RSPB
					

The RSPB pays tribute to our patron, Her Majesty The Queen, who has passed away at the age of 96.




					www.rspb.org.uk


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Do we get a new Royal Correspondent then? Witchell is unfuckingbearable.

Maybe Rylan? Or Graham Norton?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Lectern is out. Will Mary have to stifle her glee?


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Louis MacNeice said:


> I have just put on some great 70s reggae to drown this out : Mikey Dred World War 3.
> 
> Cheers and god fuck the king - Louis MacNeice


I've just had Barry Brown Praises delivered on double vinyl 🙌 🙏 

Tells gone off now.


----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 8, 2022)

I’m in Peterborough station and theres a random man who has decided to break the news to everyone individually 😬


----------



## ItStillWontWork (Sep 8, 2022)

God save the King!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Do we get a new Royal Correspondent then?



Only if they bury witchell with her


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> View attachment 341630


Scabs


----------



## gosub (Sep 8, 2022)

Given she was n't born to rule, I think Queen Elizabeth II did pretty well. Proper trooper right til the end.  RIP


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

I bet these notes I have are worth loads more now, the value always goes up when the subject dies.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

pinkmonkey said:


> I’m in Peterborough station and theres a random man who has decided to break the news to everyone individually 😬


Touchingly British.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> It is true that a 12 year old could spot the bigotry in your statement


12 year olds have trouble spotting sarcasm. If you're an adult and can't spot sarcasm you might want to find out why.


----------



## geminisnake (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> pogofish is much closer than me!  Even geminisnake could get there quicker.


I did go looking for a bomb scene(pink panther) earlier to post on FB  If only I still knew the wrong people


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

So, she’s regenerated into a man.  Bloody woke monarchy!


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Whaaaaaaaat?


You're right it was on the 15th and 17th (I thought it was 12th and 14th) but has been suspended.


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

Mrs D wants to go to the lying in state.  I think we should go, put a stake through her heart, make sure she doesn't come back.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 8, 2022)

The camera man on the C4 Queenfest has just panned across the front of Buck House to fix on a van with the logo Fantastic Removals. Took a while before someone must have told him to move his camera view.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Mrs D wants to go to the lying in state.  I think we should go, put a stake through her heart, make sure she doesn't come back.


I've the stake concession so come to my stall to buy a genuine artisanal stake


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

Apparently Charles addresses the nation and commonwealth today?


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

I know it has been said already but Johnson must be absolutely spitting feathers.


----------



## rekil (Sep 8, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> RMT have called off two days on 15th and 17th.



Refusing to mourn her majesty more like.


----------



## N_igma (Sep 8, 2022)

Too soon?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> I know it has been said already but Johnson must be absolutely spitting feathers.


Blair will be out toadying soon.


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

I was going to the shops for dinner and realised I was wearing a black T-Shirt. Swapped it for an orange one.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Mrs D wants to go to the lying in state.  I think we should go, put a stake through her heart, make sure she doesn't come back.


One of the more puzzling things I've ever seen was the queue to file past the corpse of her mother. It extended all the way back from wherever it was - Westminster Abbey I guess - to the South Bank. The queue was many hours' long and whole families were there with young children. 

People are strange.


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> 12 year olds have trouble spotting sarcasm. If you're an adult and can't spot sarcasm you might want to find out why.


Aah, irony, the great fall back of every dickhead.  Shall we take all your bigoted posts as ‘sarcastic’?  Hard for me to tell, I am one of those evil northerners you hate.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> I've the stake concession so come to my stall to buy a genuine artisanal stake



Is that at the Anarchist Bookfair?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

__





						RMT reaction to the death of Queen Elizabeth II
					





					www.rmt.org.uk
				



Disappointed in the rmt at this time


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

A380 said:


> Is that at the Anarchist Bookfair?


No, outside the lying in state


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Mrs D wants to go to the lying in state.  I think we should go, put a stake through her heart, make sure she doesn't come back.


That's a bit harsh on Mrs D.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

C4News are struggling so much that I'm crying here


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

https://twitter.com/GrieveWatch


----------



## Louis MacNeice (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> I've just had Barry Brown Praises delivered on double vinyl 🙌 🙏
> 
> Tells gone off now.


Sometimes you need a helping hand...enjoy!

Cheers  - Louis MacNeice


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 8, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I'm not looking at anything else for the foreseeable! I want it to be 'you heard it here first '



Fucksake I accidentally looked at Faceache 

Anyway, the wait is over, tf it wasn't longer.


----------



## Rebelda (Sep 8, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> I thought soft dead happens several weeks afterwards, not right at the beginning.


24 hours. Sorry, not your point I know


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 8, 2022)

Huw Edwards on the BBC called her queen of 15 countries. It's actually 14 now. And also, well, none. Because she's dead.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

redcogs said:


> someone needs to start a 'charlieboy's time is up thread'?











						Has the King died?
					

Early thread for speculation about King Charles' health, sexual proclivities and rumours of his death plus other optimism. :thumbs:




					www.urban75.net


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

think thats everyone from Billy Joels 'we didn't start the fire' dead now then.


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 8, 2022)

Rebelda said:


> 24 hours. Sorry, not your point I know


It’s good to learn new things. Thank you


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

so do the offie's close for 10 days asking for a friend


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Mrs D wants to go to the lying in state.  I think we should go, put a stake through her heart, make sure she doesn't come back.


Well you do have a perchance for accidents dessi 😀


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> __
> 
> 
> 
> ...


But not surprised by Unison








						The death of Her Majesty The Queen | News, Press release | News | UNISON National
					

Christina McAnea offers condolences on behalf of UNISON




					www.unison.org.uk


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

DJWrongspeed said:


>


My partner put that on a mates group WhatsApp and a friend of a friend immediately left. Never knew they were a monarchist, or a minor royal.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

Cometh the hour cometh the charisma vacuum.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Do we get a new Royal Correspondent then? Witchell is unfuckingbearable.
> 
> Maybe Rylan? Or Graham Norton?


I'll give Witchell a bonus point for making some comment along the lines of how she wasnt vain like some other members of her family.


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 8, 2022)

Why are they all so sad? Doesn't she get to sing with angels at God's knee now? Probably a step down for her though.

Struggling hard to give a flying fuck tbh. She's only ever represented an unreal world totally divorced from reality. Do we get a day off?


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> Aah, irony, the great fall back of every dickhead.  Shall we take all your bigoted posts as ‘sarcastic’?  Hard for me to tell, I am one of those evil northerners you hate.


Sarcasm is not the same thing as irony. And I don't hate all northerners. You seem to struggle with comprehension, and now you want a cross thread beef, so I'll just ignore you. Cheerio.


----------



## alex_ (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Mrs D wants to go to the lying in state.  I think we should go, put a stake through her heart, make sure she doesn't come back.



You’d rather have Charles as king ?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Well not really, we've had a lot of them to be fair, that's kind of the problem...


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Mary making a right fuck up of her speech.


----------



## locomotive (Sep 8, 2022)

PBUH


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> think thats everyone from Billy Joels 'we didn't start the fire' dead now then.


One left - Bardot.

I thought Kissinger was in there as well, but apparently not.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

pesh said:


> can't find an inflatable E.T. for sale anywhere


There'll be one on display in London shortly


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 8, 2022)

Christ, Truss really isn’t a very good public speaker, is she?


----------



## tonysingh (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## marty21 (Sep 8, 2022)

Yep , she is gawn RIP.

Welcome to King Chuck.


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

Truss really is fucking useless


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

That was worse than I could possibly have imagined from truss.


----------



## geminisnake (Sep 8, 2022)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Two-week media blackout for me.
> 
> I have some good books.


Two weeks? Really??  I'm bored already and I don't do tv or radio   Thankfully after about 10 posts my FB feed went back to missing cats


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

A freind has just phoned and like when Diana died he's told me he's having a grief wank. Not sure if true but it wouldn't suprise me.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Mary making a right fuck up of her speech.


Mary, Mary...Mary regicide.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

geminisnake said:


> Two weeks? Really??  I'm bored already and I don't do tv or radio   Thankfully after about 10 posts my FB feed went back to missing cats


It's what I did with Diana, but that was pre-Urban, pre-Netflix, etc. Did me good. I read a lot of books.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> That was worse than I could possibly have imagined from truss.



I'm not going to watch it, give me the two-line summary?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Charlie Brooker was on HIGNFY tmoz night. Was looking forward to that


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> My partner put that on a mates group WhatsApp and a friend of a friend immediately left. Never knew they were a monarchist, or a minor royal.


Years back when diana died and we were all chuckling about it in cw one of the members left because of the way we took the piss. That was really strange, it's not like we'd kept our anti-monarchism under a bushel


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

Jesus that would be a hard wank to keep going


----------



## not a trot (Sep 8, 2022)

jakejb79 said:


> View attachment 341628 Not sure how much longer he's going to last with hands like that.....



Starting a new job aged 73.
Government hoping it sets a trend.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

The campaign group "Republic" has tweeted:


"There will be plenty of time to debate the monarchy’s future. For now, we must respect the family's personal loss and allow them and others to mourn the loss of a mother, grandmother and great grandmother."


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> I'm not going to watch it, give me the two-line summary?



Carboard waffle, rabbit headlights. God Save the king.

run away.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Can we all take a moment to think of the life..........of all the fucking trees that will be pulped for tomorrow's 278 page Daily Mail


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

alex_ said:


> You’d rather have Charles as king ?


I'd rather not have anyone


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

I have just a little dance as I was walking to the toilet. Mrs NBE has told the boy to chill some champers for dad, srsly


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> so do the offie's close for 10 days asking for a friend


Already shut here in Wales. Out of stock apparently


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

alex_ said:


> You’d rather have Charles as king ?


I would, yes. The queen was rather popular for some reason I don't entirely understand. I reckon this new bloke will be much less popular, which is good.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

View attachment VID-20220908-WA0053.mp4


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 8, 2022)

So do we know when the funeral is yet?


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> No doubt many full-throated defenders of Freedom Of Speech(TM) are going to have their principles put to the test over the coming days/weeks....





Spoiler: Laurence Fox warning







eta Thought it only fair to add spoilers as he's so vile.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

Always good to know that the Beeb isn't beyond hyperbole...


----------



## marty21 (Sep 8, 2022)

Clearly, BBC reporters have had a carry bag containing a black suit /black tie for this event . They certainly didn't start the day like that.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

littlebabyjesus said:


> I would, yes. The queen was rather popular for some reason I don't entirely understand. I reckon this new bloke will be much less popular, which is good.


Due to the passage of time and various events its not going to turn out quite like the 2nd series of the BBC version of House of Cards, but maybe some of the plotlines might still be recycled and reimagined.









						To Play the King - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Tonight's football is still on.  Hoping Roy Keane is in the studio, always thought he was a  cunt, but he could redeem himself tonight.


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm getting a hard time from my sister because, although I feel for the pain the family is feeling, I don't give a shit about the loss of the queen. After all 96 year old people die.


----------



## Chilli.s (Sep 8, 2022)

I dont suppose anyones mentioned death duties yet, could be a nice little earner


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> So do we know when the funeral is yet?


Given how long it took them to admit she was dead already I think you might have to wait a while for that news.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The campaign group "Republic" has tweeted:
> 
> 
> "There will be plenty of time to debate the monarchy’s future. For now, we must respect the family's personal loss and allow them and others to mourn the loss of a mother, grandmother and great grandmother."


Liberals.


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Have all the telly news people put black clothes on ? That they’ve had there for years hanging up ready.


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

Watching BBC interviews, I wonder if they'll broadcast any anti-royalist comments.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

RIP your Majesty 
You can now stand down you've done your duty


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Chilli.s said:


> I dont suppose anyones mentioned death duties yet, could be a nice little earner


Yep the inheritance tax could pay all our winter fuel bills as a final act of her love for her serfs


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> So do we know when the funeral is yet?


They'll need to give it a while for Charles to stop grinning.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The campaign group "Republic" has tweeted:
> 
> 
> "There will be plenty of time to debate the monarchy’s future. For now, we must respect the family's personal loss and allow them and others to mourn the loss of a mother, grandmother and great grandmother."


Shithouses.  Don't get me wrong they'd get plenty of stick if they said anything, but you've got to stick to your guns.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 341639


POTD by a country mile.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Have all the telly news people put black clothes on ? That they’ve had there for years hanging up ready.



Yes


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 8, 2022)

The day everything changed


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

Chilli.s said:


> I dont suppose anyones mentioned death duties yet, could be a nice little earner


We've had ours estimated at 60k so her's should be enormous


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 8, 2022)

She's waving goodbye?


----------



## dessiato (Sep 8, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> The day everything changed


But stays the same


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Watching BBC interviews, I wonder if they'll broadcast any anti-royalist comments.


Wall to wall hagiography for ten days.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Watching C4+1 (Simpsons atm) just to re-live the moment again!


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> RIP your Majesty
> You can now stand down you've done your duty


I don't think she can hear you tbh, she's dead


----------



## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Clearly, BBC reporters have had a carry bag containing a black suit /black tie for this event . They certainly didn't start the day like that.


CGI 😉


----------



## DJWrongspeed (Sep 8, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> My partner put that on a mates group WhatsApp and a friend of a friend immediately left. Never knew they were a monarchist, or a minor royal.


It's what i immediately thought of.


----------



## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)

I’m expecting this to be like that weird time after Diana died, when everyone I knew or spoke to irl was mystified about all the fuss but everyone on the media were having an emotional breakdown. It’s going to be a very odd time.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Hope the anti-glazer lot don't shelve their banners, 'out of respect', tonight at old trafford,


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

WTF is this?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

Winot said:


> I’m expecting this to be like that weird time after Diana died, when everyone I knew or spoke to irl was mystified about all the fuss but everyone on the media were having an emotional breakdown. It’s going to be a very odd time.


Not only that, but in a time of unprecedented crisis, we're getting a fucking king. Charles, at that. Another ridiculous out of touch old parsnip. Gaslighting intensifies


----------



## Chilli.s (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> We've had ours estimated at 60k so her's should be enormous


As far as I know she and her immediate family dont have to pay them, exempt


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Watching BBC interviews, I wonder if they'll broadcast any anti-royalist comments.


No of course not.  

We're A NATION UNITED IN GRIEF


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> WTF is this?
> 
> View attachment 341642


don't you remember when she scored the winning touchdown at the first Olympics. in Gondor


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> So do we know when the funeral is yet?


The important detail is whether they will put any comedy in the script. When Phil the Greeks funeral happened they stuck stuff about sea monsters in there to liven things up a bit.


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Chilli.s said:


> As far as I know she and her immediate family dont have to pay them, exempt


she / the royals dont have to pay any tax, Sovereign Grant Act of 2011. They're also exempt from the equality act and a bunch of other stuff.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> WTF is this?
> 
> View attachment 341642


'Sporting memories of the queen' - this is when she had a free seat at the World Cup, this is when she had a free seat at....


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

Charles III it is.  Let’s hope he ends the same way as his predecessor.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

The BBC are reading a statement from Johnson, it doesnt seem to include anything about letting the bodies pile higher.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

So today we learn we’re going save money on energy bills (no we’re not they are still going up) but we’re paying for the funeral as well.


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

Charles the Third! Just sounds ridiculous.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Have all the telly news people put black clothes on ? That they’ve had there for years hanging up ready.


I hope they occasionally check they fit otherwise they will look a bit weird.

Youngest Q has returned home after a day out with her mates, I have broken the news to her.
Me: The Queen is Dead.
Youngest Q: Who's that?
Me: The actual Queen
Youngest Q: Oh she was ancient anyway.
Sticks her Earpods back in then takes them out for a moment.
"Do you think it's anything to do with Liz Truss?"


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> she / the royals dont have to pay any tax, Sovereign Grant Act of 2011. They're also exempt from the equality act and a bunch of other stuff.


She does pay some tax, on estate earnings iirr.  It was all part of her miserable anus


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> Charles III it is.  Let’s hope he ends the same way as his predecessor.



The Merry Monarch? I don't think he's got it in him


----------



## Fez909 (Sep 8, 2022)

I got one of the art AI things to make a pic for me the other week. "Queen Elizabeth returns to her home planet". Never though it would come so soon, though!


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> Charles III it is.  Let’s hope he ends the same way as his predecessor.


I hope he dies younger than 96, ffs!


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Charles the Third! Just sounds ridiculous.


May I be the first to pronounce it "turd".


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> She does pay some tax, on estate earnings iirr.  It was all part of her miserable anus


yep but i think she chose to do that, or was advised by the PR people


----------



## jimbarkanoodle (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> The BBC are reading a statement from Johnson, it doesnt seem to include anything about letting the bodies pile higher.


He wasn't so sombre the night before Philip's funeral.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> So today we learn we’re going save money on energy bills (no we’re not they are still going up) but we’re paying for the funeral as well.



_And_ Andrew's nonce fines


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> WTF is this?
> 
> View attachment 341642


I for one fondly remember her thunderous 40 yard strike into the top corner of Newcastle's goal on a bog of an Edgar Street pitch in 1972. Crew cuts, fishtail parkas, mud, amused coppers


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 8, 2022)

The Facebook poetry has begun.



> Phillip came to me today,
> and said it was time to go.
> I looked at him and smiled,
> as i whispered that "I know"
> ...


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

oh my god i'm watching it, bbc, utterly ridiculous nonsense being said. the end of the second Elizabethan Age, a nation plunged into grief, all said in slow wavering voice.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Fez909 said:


> I got one of the art AI things to make a pic for me the other week. "Queen Elizabeth returns to her home planet". Never though it would come so soon, though!
> 
> View attachment 341644



She looks like a Dalek in drag


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Official announcement:


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

"this was a Queen like a fish" they just said on the BBC as the propaganda ramps up to fever pitch.


----------



## Lancman (Sep 8, 2022)

I go to bed tonight with a heavy heart.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> They will! Sorry


Found it on BBC sounds by going to the Friday repeat


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

a distillation of out national identity!


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

One of no doubt many to come...


----------



## marty21 (Sep 8, 2022)

belboid said:


> Charles III it is.  Let’s hope he ends the same way as his predecessor.


He now takes over from Richard as a signifier of a degree (I got a Desmond TuTu )


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

They havent mentioned her sense of humour much yet.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> "this was a Queen like a fish" they just said on the BBC as the propaganda ramps up to fever pitch.


Yes, she had scales and gills.


----------



## elbows (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> a distillation of out national identity!


And hyping up the idea that she gave people a sense of certainty and that now we are entering an era where people will feel unsettled, a moment of potential risk.


----------



## bmd (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> But not surprised by Unison
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Unison are a disgrace.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Raheem said:


> May I be the first to pronounce it "turd".


We need a long list of Dubliners on the telly to congratulate our new monarch.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

bmd said:


> Unison are a disgrace.


My union. ☹️


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> They havent mentioned her sense of humour much yet.


I think that will all be finely planned, that will be for day three or something, when we are robust enough to handle the mere idea of anything being funny ever again


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

.


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

elbows said:


> And hyping up the idea that she gave people a sense of certainty and that now we are entering an era where people will feel unsettled, a moment of potential risk.


unmoored! we are set adrift in a strange and barren new world etc yes


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

Channel Four News 'Politics will be suspended for the next two weeks' What the fuck. At this point when the country is on it's knees?

Just stick her in the ground and get on with trying to fix the country. Not that I've got an ounce of faith in Truss and the rest of them.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> My union. ☹️


Mine too


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

Some music


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> Channel Four News 'Politics will be suspended for the next two weeks' What the fuck. At this point when the country is on it's knees?
> 
> Just stick her in the ground and get on with trying to fix the country. Not that I've got an ounce of faith in Truss and the rest of them.


"Now is not the time for poverty, or hunger, or illness..."


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Mine tok


One of those newfangled apps for youngsters?


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 8, 2022)

dessiato said:


> Watching BBC interviews, I wonder if they'll broadcast any anti-royalist comments.


Is the Pope Church of England? Does a bear shit in a toilet?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

stiemer with a Crocked tie the bastard


----------



## rubbershoes (Sep 8, 2022)

This makes Prince Andrew one step closer to being monarch


----------



## Skim (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

seriously will the last 70 years be called the Elizabethian era

the fuck


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

rubbershoes said:


> This makes Prince Andrew one step closer to being monarch



yes, although the chance of Charles, William, all William's sprogs, Harry, and all Harry's sprogs dying first is a bit remote...


----------



## kabbes (Sep 8, 2022)

As I understand the predetermined protocol, the funeral is on Sunday 18th, which means no bank holiday


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> seriously will the last 70 years be called the Elizabethian era
> 
> the fuck


Is that much of a surprise


----------



## kabbes (Sep 8, 2022)

Also, we’ve already had an email from work pronouncing us Officially Sad.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

hopefully the flag shagging masses will see that changed


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

oh heck.

loyal messages and putting the logo in to black + white on tweeter seems to be a thing.

i'm going to get asked to do this for the voluntary organisation i do website + tweeter for, aren't i?

anyone care to draft the message for me?


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> yes, although the chance of Charles, William, all William's sprogs, Harry, and all Harry's sprogs dying first is a bit remote...


I don’t want to hear problems, I want to hear solutions.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> No, outside the lying in state


Would they not give you a stall inside?


----------



## Serene (Sep 8, 2022)

I got called a quisling for carrying on reading my book and eating biscuits when I was told the news. Instead of watching telly about it.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Is that much of a surprise



we already had an Elizabethan era

should be Lilybeth or Lizzie era


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm watching BBC with the sound down. Watching the signing man and making up your own script can be most entertaining, give it a go. He's got a great face.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> seriously will the last 70 years be called the Elizabethian era
> 
> the fuck


Commoners will recall it as the Madgeria


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> oh heck.
> 
> loyal messages and putting the logo in to black + white on tweeter seems to be a thing.
> 
> ...


“OMG, so so so so sad.”


----------



## gosub (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> yes, although the chance of Charles, William, all William's sprogs, Harry, and all Harry's sprogs dying first is a bit remote...


edited, coz not the time.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

planetgeli said:


> I'm watching BBC with the sound down. Watching the signing man and making up your own script can be most entertaining, give it a go. He's got a great face.


Put the Happy Mondays on the cd player and he becomes Bez


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> hopefully the flag shagging masses will see that changed



Isn't that going to be a bit difficult when it is at half-mast?

(getting my coat)


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Screen went a funny grey and no word of apology to fans of the HollyOaks.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Isn't that going to be a bit difficult when it is at half-mast?


Even more difficult when the flag is.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

kabbes said:


> Also, we’ve already had an email from work pronouncing us Officially Sad.


Yeah, I'm expecting something particularly gratuitous from our lot when I check my inbox tomorrow morning..


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

see if i'd none she was going to clock it i would of bought up all the shite left over from the jubialee 

when it was going for pennies


insensitive bish till the end


----------



## LeytonCatLady (Sep 8, 2022)

bmd said:


> Actually pmsl that she's knocked off the day after Truss got in.


She probably wanted to make sure Blojob had fucked off first.


----------



## bimble (Sep 8, 2022)

lol the daily mail was going with THE QUEEN IS DEAD as the headline a few minutes ago and now it says 'Rest in Peace Ma'am'. Hope there were complaints from outraged readers that caused this change.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

All the horrible things that've happened on her watch, her real duty would've been to call out the unfairness of it all, to help make a better world. 
But she didn't. She let all manner of utterly dispicable things befall "her" people while she and her hangers-on remained obscenely rich. 
It would've created a constitutional crisis? Yeah, that would have been a good thing. Fuck the monarchy forever.


----------



## Serene (Sep 8, 2022)

They just called Harry an orphan.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

speaking of daily heil headlines...

harry just arriving .... if she was not already dead his tardiness would of killed her


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have now added "and of Cornwall" to their titles. This sidesteps Kate having the "Princess of Wales" title of William's mother.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

Couldn't even watch Dad's Army in peace


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Screen went a funny grey and* no word of apology to fans of the HollyOaks*.


I think you need to go directly to Phil Redmond for that.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Jeremy Corbyn has tweeted:

"My thoughts are with the Queen’s family as they come to terms with their personal loss, as well as those here and around the world who will mourn her death.

I enjoyed discussing our families, gardens and jam-making with her. 

May she rest in peace."


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

only fools and horse on now mind 


Nine Bob Note said:


> View attachment 341659
> 
> Couldn't even watch Dad's Army in peace



daves got room 101 on if you want to get away


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

Things that are good about this: Johnson won't be able to grandstand about it.

Things that are bad about this: Charles becomes king. Horse racing cancelled. Risk of people playing the Smiths. Overwhelming media coverage, and even places like this are obsessed.

So, overall, not really a win.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

So, your French correspondent reports...

The British nation is about to go through a very difficult time. But luckily no-one understands the British like Charles. She was very popular with the young, met the Spice Girls (cue footage/music), Madonna and Pierce Brosnan  🤷‍♀️.

Everyone of all ages and classes loved her. And her and Macron had a super cordial relationship. 

(I always think for a Republic, the French are way WAY too into all this shit.)

We've now moved onto footage of Buckingham Palace. Lots of pictures of various hats and mentions of 'God Save the Queen' becoming 'God Save the King'. They keep going on about King Charles III so they once didn't get that memo.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> speaking of daily heil headlines...
> 
> harry just arriving .... if she was not already dead his tardiness would of killed her


Someone needed to pick up Sasaferrato and teuchter on the way to Balmoral. That poor lad gets the blame for everything.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> Things that are good about this: Johnson won't be able to grandstand about it.




he is giving it a go look at his press release

heard it over the radio in the car even the LBC lot were going "like a true journalist he writes very well just a shame he does not know when to shut up at times"


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

Sue said:


> We've now moved onto footage of Buckingham Palace. Lots of pictures of various hats and mentions of 'God Save the Queen' becoming 'God Save the King'. They keep going on about King Charles III so they once didn't get that memo.



Might have misunderstood your post, but he is going with Charles III


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Today.



Called it.


----------



## Edie (Sep 8, 2022)

Titan of the 20th Century and the end of a different era. Feels moving.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


>


No blue tick.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Might have misunderstood your post, but he is going with Charles III


The first two's reigns  having ended so well...


----------



## marty21 (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have now added "and of Cornwall" to their titles. This sidesteps Kate having the "Princess of Wales" title of William's mother.


Are they going to retire the Princess of Wales name ?


----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

kabbes said:


> Also, we’ve already had an email from work pronouncing us Officially Sad.


Sad enough to give you a day off?


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

Maybe Charles will try to do something radical and green with all the family's land and money


----------



## Rebelda (Sep 8, 2022)

Dudley Zoo has closed, respectfully. I don't know why but this has sent me over the edge. 12yo doesn't believe me when I tell her what the next few weeks are going to be like, so I've put the BBC back on.


----------



## fuck seals (Sep 8, 2022)

Interestingly in the pubs in windsor klwe knew at about 4pm.  Sudden rush of household guards into the locals with loose lips.  Had already been communicated to them ...


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Are they going to retire the Princess of Wales name ?


I think Prince of Wales is not automatic. Charles has to decide to give it to William at some point. I think they're doing a reward chart.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Are they going to retire the Princess of Wales name ?


Like a favourite number 10 playmaker from the middle range of the top Italian football league


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Are they going to retire the Princess of Wales name ?


Aye. Wales will get independence now or Andrew.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Like a favourite number 10 playmaker from the middle range of the top Italian football league


Maybe they could rename Balmoral after her?


----------



## BCBlues (Sep 8, 2022)

Idris2002 said:


> That's all folks.



I told you I was ill


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

Alaska: The Last Frontier now on DMAX (39 on FreeView) Looks like a good place to move to after this shit show.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Are they going to retire the Princess of Wales name ?


I suspect one of the discussions held behind closed doors earlier today involved what to do with that title.


----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Might have misunderstood your post, but he is going with Charles III


Oh! I understood he was going to go for something else lest we get ideas. 🤣

(We've now moved on to Princess Di.)


----------



## equationgirl (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> seriously will the last 70 years be called the Elizabethian era
> 
> the fuck


It was called the start of the new Elizabethan age when she ascended the throne in 1952.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Heidi is an unimpeachable source btw.



See?


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 8, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Are they going to retire the Princess of Wales name ?


I think you need to be made "Prince of Wales," that it's not an automatic title like "Duke of Cornwall." /silly customs

Oops, Raheem already said as much here.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 8, 2022)

Another thing that's rather sad. For years I'd hoped that at some point she'd tear the mask off and say something along the lines of, 'I've been performing this charade since before most of you were born.  Now I'm going to tell you what I really think. Fuck it, I've got nothing to lose.'

Yes, I know that was never going to happen. But it's like people who shell out for a lottery ticket, knowing they won't win, but say it's like buying a dream. Now the dream is gone.


----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

Rebelda said:


> Dudley Zoo has closed, respectfully. I don't know why but this has sent me over the edge. 12yo doesn't believe me when I tell her what the next few weeks are going to be like, so I've put the BBC back on.


#lifelessons


----------



## equationgirl (Sep 8, 2022)

kabbes said:


> As I understand the predetermined protocol, the funeral is on Sunday 18th, which means no bank holiday


That's unconstitutional surely?


----------



## BCBlues (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


>



Football's Coming Home and  God Save the Queen, redundant in the same year, what next?


----------



## Rebelda (Sep 8, 2022)

Sue said:


> #lifelessons


Respectfully.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

BCBlues said:


> Football's Coming Home and  God Save the Queen, redundant in the same year, what next?


Referring to things of low value as being "worth pennies".


----------



## equationgirl (Sep 8, 2022)

How long do we wear black for, if we don't get a bank holiday?


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

Just went to check the Formula One standings on the BBC Sport website and guess what is all over the front page. The fucking Queen has died. What the fuck, How the fuck is that sport?


----------



## flypanam (Sep 8, 2022)

equationgirl said:


> That's unconstitutional surely?


But no one is gonna go into work on that Monday, it'll be an unoffical bank holiday.


----------



## chilango (Sep 8, 2022)

I fear there will be a concerted effort from some quarters to get "Elizabeth the Great" to stick.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> Another thing that's rather sad. For years I'd hoped that at some point she'd tear the mask off and say something along the lines of, 'I've been performing this charade since before most of you were born.  Now I'm going to tell you what I really think. Fuck it, I've got nothing to lose.'
> 
> Yes, I know that was never going to happen. But it's like people who shell out for a lottery ticket, knowing they won't win, but say it's like buying a dream. Now the dream is gone.


You've just reminded me. I have an unchecked euro-millions in my pocket....


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

chilango said:


> I fear there will be a concerted effort from some quarters to get "Elizabeth the Great" to stick.


Pretty sure Brian May is already working on the song with Elton.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

On the road back from my evening out.


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 8, 2022)

It's only been two hours and it's driving me mad.

Why don't we humans have a hibernation capability?


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 8, 2022)

I think William has to be Prince of Wales, because he's the heir apparent. No idea when.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 8, 2022)

It's appalling. John Major said she "showed us how to behave". Truss - never heard her speak before and I hope never to again - said some insane shit.


----------



## Ĝasper (Sep 8, 2022)

I watched a bit of Novara Tysky Sour (Michael Walker, Ash Sarkar both dressed in black) - very "respectful" - not much between them and the BBC. Lots of republican messages in the livechat, which Walker addressed, saying "leaves these comments until after the funeral - you'll only undermine the cause, which i honestly do support". Think they've taken the video offline already. Left "leaders" cap in hand.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> Just went to check the Formula One standings on the BBC Sport website and guess what is all over the front page. The fucking Queen has died. What the fuck, How the fuck is that sport?



Nasty badminton accident.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

equationgirl said:


> How long do we wear black for, if we don't get a bank holiday?



shite i wear black almost everyday aside from my work stuff

people will think i'm mourning the queen


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> Just went to check the Formula One standings on the BBC Sport website and guess what is all over the front page. The fucking Queen has died. What the fuck, How the fuck is that sport?



tbf for charles its a game he has been playing for 73 years


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

I suppose this means they’re going to cancel the opening fixtures of the premiership rugby season?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> we already had an Elizabethan era
> 
> should be Lilybeth or Lizzie era


Well, I'm just about to have my first part of the Chuckian era.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> tbf for charles its a game he has been playing for 73 years


Formula 1 ?


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Ĝasper said:


> I watched a bit of Novara Tysky Sour (Michael Walker, Ash Sarkar both dressed in black) - very "respectful" - not much between them and the BBC. Lots of republican messages in the livechat, which Walker addressed, saying "leaves these comments until after the funeral - you'll only undermine the cause, which i honestly do support". Think they've taken the video offline already. Left "leaders" cap in hand.


I suspect that in the face of reality, many ideologies will be tested, many extremities tested, many opinions paused.

Her death will resonate through history and that will give cause to test even the most hardened of critics.

An era has passed.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341662


Do you  think the Royal Family have suffered enough


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Well, I'm just about to have my first part of the Chuckian era.


Phat finger dynasty


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

taxi drivers around london crying as they know people will not want to visit Charles at Buckingham palace  as much as lizzie


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 8, 2022)

if we don't get double stack bank holiday


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> It's appalling. John Major said she "showed us how to behave". Truss - never heard her speak before and I hope never to again - said some insane shit.


That's a bit off, Major blaming his dallying with E. Currie on the late monarch.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> Formula 1 ?



true has been a long race for him mind


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Are they going to retire the Princess of Wales name ?


Don't know if this is true but on the deathlist forum someone said he doesn't get the wales one until chucky gives it him in a ceremony. The cornwall one passed to him automatically.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> true has been a long race for him mind


Not sure I'd of got back in a car after what happened to his wife


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Maybe Charles will try to do something radical and green with all the family's land and money


Yeah. Yeaaah.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

OMFG this coverage on the Beeb (I am watching it just through sheer fascination at this point) - the news reader now sighing and a moment of sounding a bit tearful, I am cracking up 

"These children... will grow up... knowing only King Charles III..." - not unless the monarchy comes to an end after him, he looks like he's about to kark it soon


----------



## souljacker (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Don't know if this is true but on the deathlist forum someone said he doesn't get the wales one until chucky gives it him in a ceremony. The cornwall one passed to him automatically.


Does he immediately get the food gig? The contract with Waitrose like.


----------



## nogojones (Sep 8, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Sorry to spoil the fun here, but what if she gets better? Like she may have got a new Rabbit and just had an exhausting wank and appeared close to checking out of the gig, but a bottle of Lucozade brings her round and she soldiers on?


one of theirs must have finished her off


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> I think William has to be Prince of Wales, because he's the heir apparent. No idea when.





moochedit said:


> Don't know if this is true but on the deathlist forum someone said he doesn't get the wales one until chucky gives it him in a ceremony. The cornwall one passed to him automatically.



yes - it is traditional that the heir apparent gets to be prince of wales, but charles didn't get the title until 1958 and didn't get ceremonially invested until 1969 - although that may have been because he wasn't 21 until 1969.

and camilla became duchess of cornwall but not princess of wales.

the establishment is fairly good at quoting 'tradition' when it suits them, and making it up as they go along when that suits them.


----------



## jakejb79 (Sep 8, 2022)

Never forget her questions and lack of sympathy


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

jakejb79 said:


> Never forget her questions and lack of sympathy View attachment 341680


That has been doing the rounds of the internet for twenty odd years. Wasn't true then. Isn't true now.


----------



## nogojones (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> They don't want the Mail etc to bad mouth them for not being in black when the inevitable happens.
> 
> Peter Sissons was criticised for days for wearing a purple tie when the Queen Mum passed.


I think I wrote and complained to the BBC about this. He should have gone full Timmy Mallet.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> yes - it is traditional that the heir apparent gets to be prince of wales, but charles didn't get the title until 1958 and didn't get ceremonially invested until 1969 - although that may have been because he wasn't 21 until 1969.
> 
> and camilla became duchess of cornwall but not princess of wales.
> 
> the establishment is fairly good at quoting 'tradition' when it suits them, and making it up as they go along when that suits them.


So wales was unprinced for 5 years 

Think you meant kate not camilla?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Off to the pub, but my quick search for anti-monarchist beers didn't come up with anything. Suggestions?


----------



## Sue (Sep 8, 2022)

nogojones said:


> I think I wrote and complained to the BBC about this. He should have gone full Timmy Mallet.


About him wearing a purple tie..?


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Off to the pub, but my quick search for anti-monarchist beers didn't come up with anything. Suggestions?


Old speckled Bren?


----------



## rubbershoes (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Cid (Sep 8, 2022)

I'd like an option to display the boards with black borders please.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

jakethesnake said:


> It's called Going Feral for Mental Health, in Hereford, all punk line-up with Culture Shock and RDF headlining... I was (am) really looking forward to it... i've been working all fucking summer and this was the first bit of fun in ages...


All punk line up? Guaranteed to still go ahead and be banging.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> Jesus that would be a hard wank to keep going


Show some respect. Liz ruled the waves for 70 years and you're struggling to finish cracking one off. Show some true British pluck, man.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 8, 2022)

Piccadilly Circus earlier


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Cid said:


> I'd like an option to display the boards with black borders please.


Use a marker pen.


----------



## Cid (Sep 8, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Use a marker pen.



My thanks, a good idea.


----------



## smmudge (Sep 8, 2022)

At 6pm my wife had a few tears, but mainly I think for Olivia Coleman because she thinks The Crown is real life. By 8.30pm she is sick of the coverage already..and we've just been watching catch up TV! I told her it will go on long long after she's had enough of it.


----------



## jakethesnake (Sep 8, 2022)

bimble said:


> Charles the Third! Just sounds ridiculous.


New rhyming slang


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Show some respect. Liz ruled the waves for 70 years and you're struggling to finish cracking one off. Show some true British pluck, man.




being Irish i cannie keep a wank going that long for the queen ... i leave it to grimy to stand up for the British contingent


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

skyscraper101 said:


> Piccadilly Circus earlier
> 
> View attachment 341686



jebus the resident evil one was less scary


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Think you meant kate not camilla?



no, sorry, i meant when camilla married the (then) prince of wales - she became duchess of cornwall on marrying charles, but she did not become princess of wales.

or possibly she did on paper, but she didn't use the title.

i haven't really caught up with who has acquired what title today.


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 8, 2022)

Monday 19th for the funeral then


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> no, sorry, i meant when camilla married the (then) prince of wales - she became duchess of cornwall on marrying charles, but she did not become princess of wales.
> 
> or possibly she did on paper, but she didn't use the title.
> 
> i haven't really caught up with who has acquired what title today.


Ah ok


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

Oh the Beeb have wheeled out Giles Brandreth now, it was inevitable and I am wondering what took them so long, I imagine he's only just stopped sobbing.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> Monday 19th for the funeral then


That official? Bank holiday?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Wow Westham fans at the European game  have been singing God save the Queen with tears in their eyes


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

jakethesnake said:


> New rhyming slang




“I’d give that ten minutes if I were you, just done a massive Charles and it’s pretty rough”


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

Well, I've got bob_jr to think of and although he says he's still not a royalist he says he just thought she seemed like a lovely old lady and he is acting genuinely sad (so, great, he's not a monarchist but it's possible he's a gerontophile) so I tried to humour him and watch some of the news with a straight face.

Managed literally about a minute before I had to take the piss or explode. Poor sad, serious Huw. FfS


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 8, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> Monday 19th for the funeral then




Oh gawd bless the manky old sack of shite!


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Michelle O'Neill, leader of Sinn Féin, has Tweeted:



> It’s with deep regret that I learned of the passing of Queen Elizabeth II.
> 
> The British people will miss the leadership she gave as monarch.
> 
> I would like to offer my sincere sympathies and condolences to her children, and wider family as they come to terms with their grief 1/4





> I wish to especially acknowledge the profound sorrow of our neighbours from within the unionist community who will feel her loss deeply.
> 
> Personally, I am grateful for Queen Elizabeth’s significant contribution and determined efforts to advancing peace and reconciliation 2/4 between our two islands.
> 
> Throughout the peace process she led by example in building relationships with those of us who are Irish, and who share a different political allegiance and aspirations to herself and her Government. 3/4





> Having met Queen Elizabeth on a number of occasions alongside my colleague, the late Martin McGuinness, I appreciated both her warmth and courtesy. 4/4


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Michelle O'Neill, leader of Sinn Féin, has Tweeted:


Fucking liberal boot licker.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Off to the pub, but my quick search for anti-monarchist beers didn't come up with anything. Suggestions?


Kronrnburg 1789


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Michelle O'Neill, leader of Sinn Féin, has Tweeted:



🤮


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> That official? Bank holiday?


It's a day off for sure. Apparently because the announcement was late in the day plans are adjusted slightly


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

It won’t be a bank holiday - by which I mean at least it will be a banking day - otherwise I’m going to have to urgently rewrite this months payroll calendar


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Oh the Beeb have wheeled out Giles Brandreth now, it was inevitable and I am wondering what took them so long, I imagine he's only just stopped sobbing.



i was amazed it took so long and then trying to remember his name


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

If Mick'spittle' Lynch reschedules the strike for two weeks after when I'm supposed to be going down to London that's it, I'm turning right wing. Cunt


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> It's a day off for sure.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> Just went to check the Formula One standings on the BBC Sport website and guess what is all over the front page. The fucking Queen has died. What the fuck, How the fuck is that sport?


Cos you can bet on it and cheer your team on?


----------



## Santino (Sep 8, 2022)

The Queen has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 8, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> It's a day off for sure. Apparently because the announcement was late in the day plans are adjusted slightly


Or... because 10 days from now is a Sunday, they had to come up with some pretext for making it 11 days.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

'World on the brink of five catastrophic climate tipping points', according to the Guardian.

Showing their true colours, aren't they - you have to scroll past a mere 17 links about a woman in her 90s dying to find that at number 18. Traitors.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 8, 2022)

Reasonably likeable as a person and could have been a thousand times worse. But yeah it's the monarch, and a massive pint of couldn't give a fuck


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

skyscraper101 said:


> Piccadilly Circus earlier
> 
> View attachment 341686
> 
> ...


----------



## nogojones (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> If Mick'spittle' Lynch reschedules the strike for two weeks after when I'm supposed to be going down to London that's it, I'm turning right wing. Cunt


Is that being talked about? Would really sort my Thursday out


----------



## marty21 (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> shite i wear black almost everyday aside from my work stuff
> 
> people will think i'm mourning the queen


#respect


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

ska invita said:


> Cos you can bet on it and cheer your team on?


Don't have a team to cheer on, just wanted to check on the standings. Never laid a bet in my life.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> It won’t be a bank holiday - by which I mean at least it will be a banking day - otherwise I’m going to have to urgently rewrite this months payroll calendar


Quick google and i found articles saying a bank holiday announcement is "expected".


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

nogojones said:


>



Bloody Woking liberals.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> Reasonably likeable as a person and could have been a thousand times worse. But yeah it's the monarch, and a massive pint of couldn't give a fuck


People always say she was OK like it's a mitigating factor. If she was so great she could've said 'fuck this' at any point. Why is it that only being a Nazi or a nonce or marrying one of our colonial cousins is considered reason enough to fuck off out of this ridiculous institution?


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

ska invita said:


> Is that being talked about? Would really sort my Thursday out


 Already done, I believe.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

There’s fireworks going off here. Really. I’m not sure if they’re happy or sad fireworks.


----------



## SE25 (Sep 8, 2022)

Fuming this nonsense is getting in the way of the football. Why do we have to have fake grief fucking forced on us by sycophantic cunts? If they’re so upset stay at home and cry for fuck sake, leave the rest of us to laugh at Klopp


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Quick google and i found articles saying a bank holiday announcement is "expected".


Marvellous! Good luck to my employees getting paid on time! 

I must admit I wasn’t aware of any plans but I guess things may move quickly and we’ll know by end of day tomorrow.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## TopCat (Sep 8, 2022)

At least it's still raining on the deluded cunts at Buck pal.


----------



## Rebelda (Sep 8, 2022)

Oooh I get bank Holidays this year!


----------



## ska invita (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Already done, I believe.


What A Touch! Amazing news


----------



## LeytonCatLady (Sep 8, 2022)

Raheem said:


> May I be the first to pronounce it "turd".


Only if you're Irish.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

TopCat said:


> At least it's still raining on the deluded cunts at Buck pal.


The very sky's tears...


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 8, 2022)

SE25 said:


> Why do we have to have fake grief fucking forced on us by sycophantic cunts?


Cos you allow it. I ain’t heard shit apart from some guff posted on here.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 8, 2022)

SE25 said:


> Fuming this nonsense is getting in the way of the football. Why do we have to have fake grief fucking forced on us by sycophantic cunts? If they’re so upset stay at home and cry for fuck sake, leave the rest of us to laugh at Klopp


Mate I'm still more pissed off they cancelled the Toon match than that Diana died.


----------



## Cid (Sep 8, 2022)

Google appear to have adopted a grey theme.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

I remember when that thing happened during the Queen and some other stuff


----------



## Pigsinblankets (Sep 8, 2022)

*


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 8, 2022)

Christ. I don't think it's healthy to look at my Facebook feed right now. The collective frenzy is building. From right wing army officers to trade union activists. 

Just madness. 

As a sociological study, this could spawn dozens of dissertations.

This is one of those times when I realise how my 'norms' are completely out of kilter with the majority. Maybe it has something to do with 'belonging', a shared sense of experience. Something I've mostly lacked in my life.

More fool them. Heigh ho.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Pigsinblankets said:


> *


A new star in the sky.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 8, 2022)

she should have timed it for a few weeks ago - would have blotted out that fucking tory leadership wank.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

'kinnel; enough already.



I'm expecting to go through my CD collection quite thoroughly, tbh.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Took me 3 pubs to find one with the football on.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> she should have timed it for a few weeks ago - would have blotted out that fucking tory leadership wank.


Should have done it halfway through the sentence that would have ended with her asking Truss to form a new government.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

They are still going on about the fucking rainbow on the BBC


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> They are still going on about the fucking rainbow on the BBC


I've purposely not been watching, so I'll just make up my own backstory for that.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 8, 2022)

From the Graun:

Russia’s president, Vladimir Putin extended his condolences to King Charles for the “irreparable loss” of his mother, saying the Queen had “rightfully enjoyed the love and respect of her subjects, as well as authority on the world stage”.

He added: “I wish you courage and resilience in the face of this difficult, irreparable loss. May I ask you to pass on sincere condolences and support to members of the royal family and the entire people of Great Britain.”

Heh. Nice try


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Sep 8, 2022)

The TV next door is so loud I can't get away from it. I have some ear plugs some where.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> They are still going on about the fucking rainbow on the BBC


OMFG, not Bungle as well?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> 'kinnel; enough already.
> 
> View attachment 341696
> 
> I'm expecting to go through my CD collection quite thoroughly, tbh.


Sock drawer for me.


----------



## muscovyduck (Sep 8, 2022)

Has the queen died yet?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Just remembered about Truss's youthful republican views. Bound to get the conspiraloons going!


Already seen a couple of fb posts where people have put 2 and 2 together


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

muscovyduck said:


> Has the queen died yet?


We don't have a queen, Charles is king. Charles has always been king. Rejoice!


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

muscovyduck said:


> Has the queen died yet?


Not yet. Keep refreshing the page for updates.


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

The beeb continues to deliver:

"She had the heart of a king... er a queen"

What???


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 8, 2022)

eatmorecheese said:


> Christ. I don't think it's healthy to look at my Facebook feed right now. The collective frenzy is building. From right wing army officers to trade union activists.
> 
> Just madness.
> 
> ...



My page is full of it too, and most of my list are Americans.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> The TV next door is so loud I can't get away from it. I have some ear plugs some where.


Why not just tell them to turn it down? Or take a bottle through and have a drink with them. You might like each other, and if not, at least they'll be more receptive to future requests to turn the noise down.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> People always say she was OK like it's a mitigating factor. If she was so great she could've said 'fuck this' at any point. Why is it that only being a Nazi or a nonce or marrying one of our colonial cousins is considered reason enough to fuck off out of this ridiculous institution?


Her life of 'service' and 'duty' has always seemed like a pretty shit way to live your life. Also, a pretty shit way to have a family, knowingly bringing them into the same shit.

Still her kids didn't turn out bad did they. Oh...


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> The beeb continues to deliver:
> 
> "She had the heart of a king... er a queen"
> 
> What???


She had the heart and stomach of a king.

Bit of a grisly thing to keep under the bed, but there we go.


----------



## kenny g (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## toblerone3 (Sep 8, 2022)

Rebelda said:


> Dudley Zoo has closed, respectfully. I don't know why but this has sent me over the edge. 12yo doesn't believe me when I tell her what the next few weeks are going to be like, so I've put the BBC back on.


 Oh no Bristol Zoo has closed forever.

‘It’s a sad day’: Bristol zoo welcomes last visitors before closing


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

Shit, I hope Brian May's ok


----------



## pseudonarcissus (Sep 8, 2022)

The guardian app conveniently has a button to switch off dead queen news …I wonder if the Mail has the same


----------



## Epico (Sep 8, 2022)

Wish they would stop dragging Paddington through this. FFS.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> We don't have a queen, Charles is king. Charles has always been king. Rejoice!



we do, camilla is now queen consort


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

December 25th pm won't be the same, will it?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

I couldn't watch more than 2 seconds.
Fucking Nora.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> we do, camilla is now queen consort


Without Freddie, obvs.


----------



## klang (Sep 8, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> The TV next door is so loud I can't get away from it. I have some ear plugs some where.


call the police.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> we do, camilla is now queen consort


What, an _adulterer_!


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Someone just drove down my street blaring Celebrate Good Times C’mon!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Without Freddie, obvs.



unless he performs as a hologram like he did at the 2012 olympics


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

brogdale said:


> 'kinnel; enough already.
> 
> View attachment 341696
> 
> I'm expecting to go through my CD collection quite thoroughly, tbh.


I have over 100 films recorded on my BT box so fully expect to plough through them


----------



## StoneRoad (Sep 8, 2022)

tbh, not quite sure how I really feel about the news.

on one hand, sorry that we've lost a sometimes useful figurehead, but worried about the quality of the somewhat aged replacement ...

on the other hand, I resent the waste of resources and the unfairness of the monarchy & class system ... 

The other thing that's bugging me is how this situation is bringing back sad memories of losing my parents and certain friends / relatives ...


----------



## LeytonCatLady (Sep 8, 2022)

Double post.


----------



## LeytonCatLady (Sep 8, 2022)

Triple post. Phone is shite.


----------



## rekil (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Already seen a couple of fb posts where people have put 2 and 2 together



Deep cover vatican kill team? #justaskingquestions


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 8, 2022)

Puts things in perspective a bit 



That's actually half the prime ministers in my life time!


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

By the by, all 'queen' banknotes are officially worthless now. However I'm willing to exchange any you might have for a rather generous 10% of their value.


----------



## LeytonCatLady (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> By the by, all 'queen' banknotes are officially worthless now. However I'm willing to exchange any you might have for a rather generous 10% of their value.


If you were a Tory, you'd be preparing to go round the pubs at closing time, telling people exactly that.


----------



## Cerv (Sep 8, 2022)

Will the last night of the proms on saturday be cancelled?


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Cerv said:


> Will the last night of the proms on saturday be cancelled?


Cancelled?! It'll turn into an OnlyFans orgy of mourning before they get to the tunes you can hum.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

I unthinkingly switched on the radio.

Queen still dead.


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

London Bridge is down and I'm supposed to be going home on the Jubilee Line. Can anyone suggest alternative ways of getting from Central London to Beckton?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

tim said:


> London Bridge is down and I'm supposed to be going home on the Jubilee Line. Can anyone suggest alternative ways of getting from Central London to Beckton?


Waterloo or London bridge stn > Jubilee to Stratford dlr to beckton


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Cerv said:


> Will the last night of the proms on saturday be cancelled?


She'll be lying in State in the Centre of the Albert Hall.


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> London bridge stn > Jubilee to Stratford dlr to beckton


London Bridge is Down!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

tim said:


> London Bridge is Down!


The tube goes under the river!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

tim said:


> She'll be lying in State in the Centre of the Albert Hall.


Continuing doing what she did when  alive


----------



## LeytonCatLady (Sep 8, 2022)

Wilf said:


> By the by, all 'queen' banknotes are officially worthless now. However I'm willing to exchange any you might have for a rather generous 10% of their value.











						UK central bank says paper money with Queen’s image still legal tender
					

The Bank of England on Thursday clarified that paper money bearing Queen Elizabeth II’s image is still legal tender following her death. “As the first monarch to feature on Bank of England banknote…




					thehill.com


----------



## tommers (Sep 8, 2022)

Has she risen again yet?


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

If London Bridge is down, surely the proper respectful thing would be to knock the bridge down.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

tommers said:


> Has she risen again yet?


No, only Peter Mandelsson


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 8, 2022)

Someone on Channel 4 - it's 'only now' that people are 'beginning' to realise she was right to remain with her grandchildren at Balmoral after their mother died. Is it only now? I remember having a conversation with my own grandfather that very week, where we both said that exact thing.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

LeytonCatLady said:


> UK central bank says paper money with Queen’s image still legal tender
> 
> 
> The Bank of England on Thursday clarified that paper money bearing Queen Elizabeth II’s image is still legal tender following her death. “As the first monarch to feature on Bank of England banknote…
> ...


Curses!


----------



## emanymton (Sep 8, 2022)

I can't be arsed to keep up with this thread or read all the crap online. Could someone let me know if we are getting a bank holiday. Thanks.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

emanymton said:


> I can't be arsed to keep up with this thread or read all the crap online. Could someone let me know if we are getting a bank holiday. Thanks.


Mon 19th


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

I remember coins (shilling and two shilling) with King George VI on them still being in circulation as 5 and 10 pence coins in to the late 80s / early 90s


----------



## Wilf (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> I remember coins (shilling and two shilling) with King George VI on them still being in circulation as 5 and 10 pence coins in to the late 80s / early 90s


Gawd bless the old king.


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 8, 2022)

Hardly like they've lost their best customer.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> I remember coins (shilling and two shilling) with King George VI on them still being in circulation as 5 and 10 pence coins in to the late 80s / early 90s


What a baby. There were still old pennies with Queen Victoria on them when I was a kid, and one penny would buy you four chews. Farthings had been abolished by then, so the sweet shop might give you a chew instead of a farthing as part change for weighed sweets.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Paul Burrell is on talk TV right now and he looks as if he has been crying


----------



## kenny g (Sep 8, 2022)

Epico said:


> Wish they would stop dragging Paddington through this. FFS.


Looking at my local FB I am waiting for someone to propose a Paddington Bear nativity scene be crocheted for outside church featuring the queen as Mary, Paddington as the baby and other royals in appropriate roles.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> What a baby. There were still old pennies with Queen Victoria on them when I was a kid, and one penny would buy you four chews. Farthings had been abolished by then, so the sweet shop might give you a chew instead of a farthing as part change for weighed sweets.





i remember 'sixpence' coins being 2 1/2p as well

my pram would have been bought in pounds, shillings and pence, but i don't remember it in use.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

Cerv said:


> Will the last night of the proms on saturday be cancelled?



depend if the proms started before she snuffed it


----------



## tommers (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Paul Burrell is on talk TV right now and he looks as if he has been crying


Vinegar sprayed directly into the eyes.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 8, 2022)

"Remember that some are sad not directly because the Queen’s died but because it’s such a huge reminder of death itself. Maybe it brings back memories of the death of a loved one. If someone’s sad let them be rather than excitedly bringing out your “why I hate the monarchy” list"

much as I'm enjoying taking the piss, about the only serious thing I've read and thought yeah fair point


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

tommers said:


> Vinegar sprayed directly into the eyes.


A choice between that and vitriol


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> depend if the proms started before she snuffed it


It started in July and is meant to finish this Saturday


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> "Remember that some are sad not directly because the Queen’s died but because it’s such a huge reminder of death itself. Maybe it brings back memories of the death of a loved one. If someone’s sad let them be rather than excitedly bringing out your “why I hate the monarchy” list"
> 
> much as I'm enjoying taking the piss, about the only serious thing I've read and thought yeah fair point


Yeh cos there's been no great increase in mortality in recent years and no beloved celebs have died


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> It started in July and is meant to finish this Saturday


Whereas the mourning has only just begun and will last for ever


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> It started in July and is meant to finish this Saturday



royal family or anything mentioning the monarch will likely be postponed

long live the queen

she 💀


----------



## brogdale (Sep 8, 2022)

200 pages; a fitting U75 tribute 😂


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 8, 2022)

Comments switched off on this one.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Cerv (Sep 8, 2022)

tim said:


> She'll be lying in State in the Centre of the Albert Hall.


well that's just rude when she has her own box could be using.


had


----------



## Cerv (Sep 8, 2022)

I stocked up on stamps before the price rise a few months back. 
will it be a faux pas that xmas cards 2023, 2024 and possibly 2025 still have Liz's head on them?


----------



## tim (Sep 8, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> The tube goes under the river!


I'm under the river and someone is singing God Save the King Further down the carriage


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

kenny g said:


> Looking at my local FB I am waiting for someone to propose a Paddington Bear nativity scene be crocheted for outside church featuring the queen as Mary, Paddington as the baby and other royals in appropriate roles.


Coming soon to a post box near you


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Cerv said:


> I stocked up on stamps before the price rise a few months back.
> will it be a faux pas that xmas cards 2023, 2024 and possibly 2025 still have Liz's head on them?


Are they the new Q code stamps? If not, they will have to be swapped out before January or die.


			https://www.royalmail.com/sending/barcoded-stamps


----------



## steeplejack (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Oh the Beeb have wheeled out Giles Brandreth now, it was inevitable and I am wondering what took them so long, I imagine he's only just stopped sobbing.



Was he wearing a trademark crazy-paving jumper in different shades of black & a platty jubes bow tie?


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 8, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> I remember coins (shilling and two shilling) with King George VI on them still being in circulation as 5 and 10 pence coins in to the late 80s / early 90s


I remember those from the 80s, I think my interest in such things started when I'd get a shilling to spend or in change and wondering, as children do, just how many hundreds of years must have existed between "the olden days" and my holding a coin 😁


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 8, 2022)




----------



## Fez909 (Sep 8, 2022)

I've been moaning to my girlfriend about how annoying the next two weeks are going to be, and then we went for a meal tonight and the advertising board on the main road had been changed to a memorial image thing. I pointed it out and did some more moaning,. And the scene was set.

When we got home, I downloaded an image that fits our TV, and quickly set it as the screensaver that shows when the TV is off, then shouted for her to come look. I said "we can't event escape it at home as Samsung have pushed this image to our TV!". 

She went into the settings and changed it back to a nice photo of a zebra near a lake, and saved it, but on my phone I set it straight back to the Queen without her noticing.

When she turned the TV off to check the zebra pic was in place, she just turned to me in shock when Her Maj's face reappeared. 

Now she said she's scared and it's like 1984 and asked me to take a picture of the TV. I don't know who she was planni to send it to, but don't want her to look silly in front of her mates, so haven't forwarded her the pic yet, but she still thinks Samsung/the government are forcing us to have a pic of QE2 displayed in our living room 

I'll tell her the truth in the morning


----------



## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

Bloomberg have upped it to a _double_ rainbow.

Fancy!


----------



## Cerv (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Are they the new Q code stamps? If not, they will have to be swapped out before January or die.
> 
> 
> https://www.royalmail.com/sending/barcoded-stamps


they're the new ones. 
I planned ahead you see.


----------



## pseudonarcissus (Sep 8, 2022)

Fez909 said:


> I've been moaning to my girlfriend about how annoying the next two weeks are going to be, and then we went for a meal tonight and the advertising board on the main road had been changed to a memorial image thing. I pointed it out and did some more moaning,. And the scene was set.
> 
> When we got home, I downloaded an image that fits our TV, and quickly set it as the screensaver that shows when the TV is off, then shouted for her to come look. I said "we can't event escape it at home as Samsung have pushed this image to our TV!".
> 
> ...


I was scrolling down and thought it was nice that someone else has a portrait of the queen on the living room wall

sorry for the reflexion, but it’s Brenda in a Victorian sex dungeon

here it is on the artists’ website ”two sadistic bitches”


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 8, 2022)

Wonder if hell smells like fresh paint?


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Are they the new Q code stamps? If not, they will have to be swapped out before January or die.
> 
> 
> https://www.royalmail.com/sending/barcoded-stamps


Are the barcodes going to mean you can't reuse them if they don't get franked?


----------



## wtfftw (Sep 8, 2022)

💜 Wotcha sluts!😘🥂 It's official: 👸🕊Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II🕊👸 has Elizabeat-off🤙 this 🙏✝️Mortal Coil!✝️🙏🤪 So join us in 😩Mourning😩 n' 🥴Moaning🥴 at 💂‍♀️🏰👉Suckingham Phallus👌🏰💂‍♀️…✨🌝Tonight's the night to 😘Snog💋 'til we're Knackered🥵, take a ride on 🚌💦Double Deckers🚌💦, and 👑👰‍♀️Marry Our Cousins👰‍♀️👑 all in honour of 💒🦵Her Royal Thighness🦵💒!!💃💘 💌Send this to your own 💖Royal Fam💅 of 💗S&M freaks💗 (that's Sovereigns & Monarchists)🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
If u get 3️⃣ back, 🍻yer proper chuffed😝 AND stuffed🥵👉👌 when the elected 👅HEAD of State👅 is sure to give you that 😏🏟Millennium Dome🎡🤯! 🫖✨If u get 6️⃣, 🫡💍God Save THIS Size Queen💍🫡 cuz ‘ol 🕰🍆Big Ben🍆🕰 says you're 👏Half🕐Past🕝Fucked!🕣😳😳😳 And if u get 🔟? 🎩😉Well cheerio, my hoe,😘 I'm putting a 🗳Referendum on MY Rear end’um🫣 ➡️➡️With our massive 🍑Spheres of Influence🍑 we can de-colonize 😍Hearts, 🧐Minds & 😤Holes to form a 💫new 🌍Cummingwealth💦💦💦 where the only 💋QUEEN💅 is the one in 👀 THE MIRROR🪞🫵, babes‼️🥰💞💞 Ta~!❌⭕️❌⭕️


----------



## tommers (Sep 8, 2022)

You've taken it well


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Are the barcodes going to mean you can't reuse them if they don't get franked?


No. They are scanned so TPTB _know_ they have already been used.


----------



## wtfftw (Sep 8, 2022)

Should be in quotes but I'm scared of formatting fucking it up


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> No. They are scanned so TPTB _know_ they have already been used.


So, that means "yes" (?)


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

This is FUCKING INSANE:


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

I know. It seemed like Man U had got over that shaky start to the season.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Raheem said:


> So, that means "yes" (?)


Yes, I meant - you can't reuse them. 
(Sorry, it's late for me.)


----------



## quimcunx (Sep 8, 2022)

Sue said:


> Oh! I understood he was going to go for something else lest we get ideas. 🤣
> 
> (We've now moved on to Princess Di.)



This was also my understanding and I've authoratively told several people so in the past. I guess it was considered or the pundits wouldn't be announcing that he's chosen to be Charles. I guess after 73 years changing your name must feel a bit if a hassle.


----------



## belboid (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> This is FUCKING INSANE:
> View attachment 341719


I made use of the Guardians excellent button to turnoff the sycophantic coverage.  

Or so I thought.  I still get this as their online ‘front page’


----------



## weepiper (Sep 8, 2022)

She's going to be lying in state for a bit at St Giles in Edinburgh apparently. The council seems to be expecting quite a lot of people to turn up


----------



## Ted Striker (Sep 8, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Like a favourite number 10 playmaker from the middle range of the top Italian football league



The Peoples Totti


----------



## quimcunx (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> we already had an Elizabethan era
> 
> should be Lilybeth or Lizzie era



Charles I was the Caroline era and Charles II was the Carolean era so this would seem reasonable. Maybe the Brendian era.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 8, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> Yes, I meant - you can't reuse them.
> (Sorry, it's late for me.)


 The penny-pinching bastards!


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Raheem said:


> The penny-pinching bastards!


Welcome to the new stamps, same as the old stamps.


----------



## rekil (Sep 8, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> This is FUCKING INSANE:
> View attachment 341719



Disgraceful. Should be under transfer news.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 8, 2022)

Raheem said:


> I know. It seemed like Man U had got over that shaky start to the season.


Well it's the Europa League, anyone can beat anyone. Plus when United aren't 'on it' they still look ordinary.


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> So today we learn we’re going save money on energy bills (no we’re not they are still going up) but we’re paying for the funeral as well.


They could burn the royal family instead of gas. That’d save us a few quid.


----------



## tommers (Sep 8, 2022)

I went to the West Ham game tonight and there was very little grief going on. There was a minute's silence that turned into God Save the Queen, all the advertising hoardings were black and they didnt play Bubbles before the game but everybody was still shouting and cheering and being normal. People I spoke to weren't bothered. Hopefully means the worst excesses can be avoided.


----------



## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

tommers said:


> I went to the West Ham game tonight…



Please accept our deepest condolences…


----------



## strung out (Sep 8, 2022)

My wife had a job on tomorrow that was paying £1,000, which has now been cancelled. We're fucking furious.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 8, 2022)

I'm watching the bbc news now and they're going on about people outside Buck House and there's no cunt there.

Delusional.

Literally a couple of hundred at most.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 9, 2022)

tommers said:


> There was a minute's silence that turned into God Save the Queen


Should be God Save the King. Bloody treasonous!


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 9, 2022)

quimcunx said:


> Charles I was the Caroline era and Charles II was the Carolean era so this would seem reasonable. Maybe the Brendian era.


Charles 3 should be the carolingian


----------



## Raheem (Sep 9, 2022)

He's the Carole King!


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

spitfire said:


> I'm watching the bbc news now and they're going on about people outside Buck House and there's no cunt there.
> 
> Delusional.
> 
> Literally a couple of hundred at most.


The clips I saw they looked suspiciously like the sort of people who might work in conservative central office


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 9, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> The clips I saw they looked suspiciously like the sort of people who might work in conservative central office



Not to mention MI5. Poor fuckers pulled the short straw.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


> Not to mention MI5. Poor fuckers pulled the short straw.


CGI mourners.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 9, 2022)

Cerv said:


> Will the last night of the proms on saturday be cancelled?


They can try, but it will just make Friday the last night.


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

wtfftw said:


> 💜 Wotcha sluts!😘🥂 It's official: 👸🕊Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II🕊👸 has Elizabeat-off🤙 this 🙏✝️Mortal Coil!✝️🙏🤪 So join us in 😩Mourning😩 n' 🥴Moaning🥴 at 💂‍♀️🏰👉Suckingham Phallus👌🏰💂‍♀️…✨🌝Tonight's the night to 😘Snog💋 'til we're Knackered🥵, take a ride on 🚌💦Double Deckers🚌💦, and 👑👰‍♀️Marry Our Cousins👰‍♀️👑 all in honour of 💒🦵Her Royal Thighness🦵💒!!💃💘 💌Send this to your own 💖Royal Fam💅 of 💗S&M freaks💗 (that's Sovereigns & Monarchists)🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
> If u get 3️⃣ back, 🍻yer proper chuffed😝 AND stuffed🥵👉👌 when the elected 👅HEAD of State👅 is sure to give you that 😏🏟Millennium Dome🎡🤯! 🫖✨If u get 6️⃣, 🫡💍God Save THIS Size Queen💍🫡 cuz ‘ol 🕰🍆Big Ben🍆🕰 says you're 👏Half🕐Past🕝Fucked!🕣😳😳😳 And if u get 🔟? 🎩😉Well cheerio, my hoe,😘 I'm putting a 🗳Referendum on MY Rear end’um🫣 ➡️➡️With our massive 🍑Spheres of Influence🍑 we can de-colonize 😍Hearts, 🧐Minds & 😤Holes to form a 💫new 🌍Cummingwealth💦💦💦 where the only 💋QUEEN💅 is the one in 👀 THE MIRROR🪞🫵, babes‼️🥰💞💞 Ta~!❌⭕️❌⭕️


There are tinder profiles almost exactly like that


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

taken from a millwall message board. funny, for all that flag waving, i never saw her once down the den


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

wtfftw said:


> 💜 Wotcha sluts!😘🥂 It's official: 👸🕊Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II🕊👸 has Elizabeat-off🤙 this 🙏✝️Mortal Coil!✝️🙏🤪 So join us in 😩Mourning😩 n' 🥴Moaning🥴 at 💂‍♀️🏰👉Suckingham Phallus👌🏰💂‍♀️…✨🌝Tonight's the night to 😘Snog💋 'til we're Knackered🥵, take a ride on 🚌💦Double Deckers🚌💦, and 👑👰‍♀️Marry Our Cousins👰‍♀️👑 all in honour of 💒🦵Her Royal Thighness🦵💒!!💃💘 💌Send this to your own 💖Royal Fam💅 of 💗S&M freaks💗 (that's Sovereigns & Monarchists)🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
> If u get 3️⃣ back, 🍻yer proper chuffed😝 AND stuffed🥵👉👌 when the elected 👅HEAD of State👅 is sure to give you that 😏🏟Millennium Dome🎡🤯! 🫖✨If u get 6️⃣, 🫡💍God Save THIS Size Queen💍🫡 cuz ‘ol 🕰🍆Big Ben🍆🕰 says you're 👏Half🕐Past🕝Fucked!🕣😳😳😳 And if u get 🔟? 🎩😉Well cheerio, my hoe,😘 I'm putting a 🗳Referendum on MY Rear end’um🫣 ➡️➡️With our massive 🍑Spheres of Influence🍑 we can de-colonize 😍Hearts, 🧐Minds & 😤Holes to form a 💫new 🌍Cummingwealth💦💦💦 where the only 💋QUEEN💅 is the one in 👀 THE MIRROR🪞🫵, babes‼️🥰💞💞 Ta~!❌⭕️❌⭕️


My eyes


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 9, 2022)

tim said:


> London Bridge is down and I'm supposed to be going home on the Jubilee Line. Can anyone suggest alternative ways of getting from Central London to Beckton?


Surf the waves of tears


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 9, 2022)

I don't follow any of my Fb friends but a quick search reveals oh so many posts starting _I'm not a Royalist but..._ then going on to include words like smile, service, duty, loved, missed etc


----------



## Reno (Sep 9, 2022)

The BBC has turned into Brenda's death rattle.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 9, 2022)

Time to repost this classic


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

tim said:


> I'm under the river and someone is singing God Save the King Further down the carriage


No future no future for you


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Reno said:


> The BBC has turned into Brenda's death rattle.


Brenda's burial call


----------



## prunus (Sep 9, 2022)

Morning. She still dead then?


----------



## strung out (Sep 9, 2022)

prunus said:


> Morning. She still dead then?


Not the third day yet.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 9, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I don't follow any of my Fb friends but a quick search reveals oh so many posts starting _I'm not a Royalist but..._ then going on to include words like smile, service, duty, loved, missed etc



One of my FB friends (who doesnt even live in the UK) posted this up... and has had 0 likes so far



> People from formerly English-colonized countries mourning the passing of any British monarch or member of the royal family confuses me. Rape, pillage, occupation, subjugation and slavery were their calling cards for centuries. Northern Ireland is still occupied and Irish Catholics there are still oppressed people.
> I don't celebrate a woman's death or mourn her passing. I simply look at what she represents - a now fading empire that got incredibly rich from what it took from others while murdering lots of them and stealing their lands because they thought it was their God-given right to do so, and looking down their noses and calling them all savages. The savage responses on various social media, mainly Twitter, don't surprise me at all. It says a lot about the sheer scale of brutality enacted by a tiny island nation that had no qualms about doing every terrible thing they chose to do to get what they wanted. The ends justified the means.
> It's sad when people die, but people die everyday. Brexit is still a thing. The energy bills in the UK are still going to be insane this Fall and Winter, and children are still going hungry in their schools because no money, no lunch. Life, it goes on. How much will be spent on the funeral?


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Not sure if anyone knows but the queen has apparently died


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> Not sure if anyone knows but the queen has apparently died


Now it's the King's turn


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 9, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> Not sure if anyone knows but the queen has apparently died


You'd have thought the media would have picked up on this.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 9, 2022)

Mrs SFM is irrationally annoyed (imo) at the prospect of Queen Camilla or, as she calls her, “that fucking horse-faced homewrecker”


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> "Remember that some are sad not directly because the Queen’s died but because it’s such a huge reminder of death itself. Maybe it brings back memories of the death of a loved one. If someone’s sad let them be rather than excitedly bringing out your “why I hate the monarchy” list"
> 
> much as I'm enjoying taking the piss, about the only serious thing I've read and thought yeah fair point




Understand and to a degree agree with the sentiment. Was minded last night of her Covid speech that she ended with ‘we will meet again’ - a message of hope during a very dark time.

Then was minded that whilst that was going on _her _prime minister was bumptiously declaring that the bodies be piled high, before heading home to a rave up with DJ Gove mashing it up in the basement etc. 

Fuck the whole rotten system.


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> You'd have thought the media would have picked up on this.


I’d been led to believe she’d just been struggling with her mobility


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Mrs SFM is irrationally annoyed (imo) at the prospect of Queen Camilla or, as she calls her, “that fucking horse-faced homewrecker”


She wouldn’t use quite those words, but my old (Royalist) Mum will not like the Queen Camilla thing one little bit.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 9, 2022)

Not my sort of people


----------



## TopCat (Sep 9, 2022)

Australia will observe 14 days of mourning following the death of Queen Elizabeth II, and parliament will be suspended until after her funeral has taken place


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Not my sort of peopleView attachment 341739



Not even the guy in the blue baseball cap sharing a joke?


----------



## ChrisD (Sep 9, 2022)

Dead Cat Bounce said:


> Just went to check the Formula One standings on the BBC Sport website and guess what is all over the front page. The fucking Queen has died. What the fuck, How the fuck is that sport?


Twitter has used that category for Caitlin Moran tweet...


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Not my sort of peopleView attachment 341739


I know it's wrong to judge people on their looks, but he looks like a right nasty arsehole.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> I’d been led to believe she’d just been struggling with her mobility


I reckon stroke overnight


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 9, 2022)

Very surprised about the extent of coverage here . RTP website ( the state broadcaster) must have about 15 short articles including one on the first RTP 'live' broadcast which was filming the Queens visit to Portugal.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

The39thStep said:


> Very surprised about the extent of coverage here . RTP website ( the state broadcaster) must have about 15 short articles including one on the first RTP 'live' broadcast which was filming the Queens visit to Portugal.
> 
> View attachment 341742


How fortunate you are the Queen did not return. The denizens of menton in France have a memorial to remind themselves of the horror of hosting queen victoria


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 9, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I know it's wrong to judge people on their looks, but he looks like a right nasty arsehole.



He's probably an actor, a lovely working-class bloke who was part of a group of paid mourners and decided to ham it up.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Not my sort of peopleView attachment 341739


Certainly not wearing a blue shirt with a blue tie.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> Not sure if anyone knows but the queen has apparently died


Yeh reports finally coming in that the queen has died.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Big-10hourdelay-moaner


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Before I turned off all MSM last night (for the foreseeable) I heard some establishment cunt coming out with the old _everyone will remember exactly where they where when.._line. 

At Brogdale acres as the "national anthem" played on R6 Mrs B was taking a call from her Dad's care home to inform her (for the fifth time in 3 weeks) that he'd had another "unwitnessed fall" and had been found by another resident. The care home crisis in staffing is having very real impacts for elderly working class folk in authority commissioned care. 

A hour later an equally posho cunt on the radio said how nice it was that the ex-monarch had been able to "pass" in her favourite home. Sent Mrs B over the edge for some while.


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 9, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> How fortunate you are the Queen did not return. The denizens of menton in France have a memorial to remind themselves of the horror of hosting queen victoria


Think she went back there in 1985 tbh


----------



## maomao (Sep 9, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I reckon stroke overnight


I had a bit of a stroke in the middle of the night too. Couldn't sleep.


----------



## Glitter (Sep 9, 2022)

She went to The Water Place in Bolton to open it. Don’t think she got a go on the big slide and I bet nobody bought her donuts from the van outside. 

Missed opportunites.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 9, 2022)

I just opened my book of condolence:


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> I just opened my book of condolence:
> 
> View attachment 341744


Will tweet that for the lols


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Oh, fucking Radio 6...how long are they gonna keep up all this dull, dreary shite for?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 9, 2022)

Fucks sake.  Even the local news is all about Madge.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Oh, fucking Radio 6...how long are they gonna keep up all this dull, dreary shite for?


The bbc's stamina is legendary


----------



## bmd (Sep 9, 2022)

The perfect time to leave the commonwealth?


----------



## bmd (Sep 9, 2022)

SE25 said:


> Fuming this nonsense is getting in the way of the football. Why do we have to have fake grief fucking forced on us by sycophantic cunts? If they’re so upset stay at home and cry for fuck sake, leave the rest of us to laugh at Klopp


Quad still on or no?


----------



## teqniq (Sep 9, 2022)

A friend and I were talking at the pub last night and we had both separately had the idea that she knew her time was up so went to Scotland to die in an effort to keep the United Kingdom, united. Pretty shit for those Scots people who want independence and also pretty shit for those of us this side of the border who think it's a good idea. Also I'll just leave this here:


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

Apparently a resident in our home was engrossed in Hollyoaks which was suddenly cut for the announcement . She was absolutely livid!!


----------



## Numbers (Sep 9, 2022)

I just realised I’m wearing all black.


----------



## [62] (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Oh, fucking Radio 6...how long are they gonna keep up all this dull, dreary shite for?



I thought I was going to be relatively safe there, but no... 

Was amused by BT Sport's cack-handed reaction last night when they filled the half-time with snippets of ultimate fighting, crowds going wild and Peter Crouch doing his robot celebration over and over on a loop. Hilarious attempt at 'respect'.


----------



## maomao (Sep 9, 2022)

Anyone fed up of the media just be glad you don't work in a fucking school.


----------



## Dom Traynor (Sep 9, 2022)

Fuck this I'm deleting Facebook for a week. Even my Irish cousins posting shit 🤣


----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 9, 2022)

There were rumours that our local pub would cancel the Thursday night quiz.  Thankfully it went ahead, and they showed the Man Utd match on the telly.

We won the quiz, £20 for a 3 person team, and Man Utd lost at home  

Stay tuned as I bring you all the important news.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Oh, fucking Radio 6...how long are they gonna keep up all this dull, dreary shite for?




They're fucking well all it, 6, Absolute, Xfm, ALL of them, 

For fuck sake make it stop!!!!!!


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Numbers said:


> I just realised I’m wearing all black.


i put on my jauntiest shirt in honour of the day


----------



## teqniq (Sep 9, 2022)

My advice for what it's worth is to listen to you own music collection either what you've actually got or Spotify, Tidal etc until it's all died down.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> They're fucking well all it, 6, Absolute, Xfm, ALL of them,
> 
> For fuck sake make it stop!!!!!!


I'm no fan of Global Radio, but Chill FM's complete lack of humanity is reassuring this morning


----------



## [62] (Sep 9, 2022)

Dom Traynor said:


> Fuck this I'm deleting Facebook for a week. Even my Irish cousins posting shit 🤣



I'm one of the admins of a normally very relaxed and easy-going Facebook group and have gone into some kind of twitchy paranoia in case someone tries to pull some royalist mournfest shite on it. THEY SHALL NOT PASS.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

[62] said:


> I'm one of the admins of a normally very relaxed and easy-going Facebook group and have gone into some kind of twitchy paranoia in case someone tries to pull some royalist mournfest shite on it. THEY SHALL NOT PASS.


WE WILL REMEMBER HER!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'm no fan of Global Radio, but Chill FM's complete lack of humanity is reassuring this morning




That's dirge 24/7/365 though, kind of a if-you-can't-beat-them strategy...


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> My advice for what it's worth is to listen to you own music collection either what you've actually got or Spotify, Tidal etc until it's all died down.


Since she ascended to the throne*, it has never been easier to ignore her  




*technically I presume she _de_scended onto it; she may have been Royalty but she still sat like the rest of us!


----------



## bmd (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

Just been ordered to change my background on Teams to a corporate darkened version. I didn’t have a background before. Oh well


----------



## Rebelda (Sep 9, 2022)

Numbers said:


> I just realised I’m wearing all black.


Respectfully


----------



## spitfire (Sep 9, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> They're fucking well all it, 6, Absolute, Xfm, ALL of them,
> 
> For fuck sake make it stop!!!!!!





teqniq said:


> My advice for what it's worth is to listen to you own music collection either what you've actually got or Spotify, Tidal etc until it's all died down.



I've just popped over to Soho Radio and they had some pretty upbeat jazz on. Might be worth a shot.









						Home - Soho Radio
					

Soho Radio is an online radio station broadcasting live from Soho and New York to the world, featuring two channels: Soho & NYC + Culture.




					sohoradiolondon.com


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

The online book of condolence at work is quite a hoot.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> That's dirge 24/7/365 though, kind of a if-you-can't-beat-them strategy...


I mean, I can't exactly argue  But it's a dirge I have to accept I enjoy 



spitfire said:


> I've just popped over to Soho Radio and they had some pretty upbeat jazz on. Might be worth a shot.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Aye, was thinking along the same lines with something like Radio Garden; should be able to find some enclave of refuge out there


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> The online book of condolence at work is quite a hoot.


The absolutely crucial question: is it moderated?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

bmd said:


> View attachment 341762


Are we referring to Truss as "the second plane", then?


----------



## wtfftw (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## wtfftw (Sep 9, 2022)

I'm just sad we didn't get shitposting for our Di.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

I'm coming down to London in a couple of weeks. Does anyone know if it will be open?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

spitfire said:


> I've just popped over to Soho Radio and they had some pretty upbeat jazz on. Might be worth a shot.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Alexa has found it and yes, MUJCH better, thanks!


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Should be God Save the King. Bloody treasonous!


Pretty Vacant.


----------



## wtfftw (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> I'm coming down to London in a couple of weeks. Does anyone know if it will be open?


Should be. The train strikes are cancelled anyway. There's ten days of mourning or something and all the royals have to do an extra 7 days from the funeral but I don't imagine stuff will be shut.


----------



## bmd (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> The absolutely crucial question: is it moderated?


This. For all of them.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> The absolutely crucial question: is it moderated?


It 100% will be. Not even going to go there!

My favourite message so far



> He’s waiting for you


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> It 100% will be. Not even going to go there!
> 
> My favourite message so far


I like to think that's a very clever republican


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> I'm coming down to London in a couple of weeks. Does anyone know if it will be open?



It will be but they'll only let you through the gate if you're wearing a black tie.


----------



## flypanam (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Not my sort of peopleView attachment 341739


Estate agents convention?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Now it's the King's turn


Oy! No spoilers for mondays HOTD!


----------



## Doctor Carrot (Sep 9, 2022)

toblerone3 said:


> Oh no Bristol Zoo has closed forever.
> 
> ‘It’s a sad day’: Bristol zoo welcomes last visitors before closing


I used to live down the road from it in my student days. One of my favourite memories of that place was standing outside my flat having a fag at 3 in the morning on a break from a uni essay and hearing the lion roar.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

tommers said:


> I went to the West Ham game tonight and there was very little grief going on. There was a minute's silence that turned into God Save the Queen, all the advertising hoardings were black and they didnt play Bubbles before the game but everybody was still shouting and cheering and being normal. People I spoke to weren't bothered. Hopefully means the worst excesses can be avoided.


2 full paragraphs of fawning nonsense beginning the grauniad's coverage of Man United's game last night.



> Football was an obvious irrelevance after the evening’s news but, once Uefa ruled the game should go ahead, Manchester United duly fulfilled their Europa League fixture against Real Sociedad.
> 
> The death of Queen Elizabeth II threw a veil of sorrow over Old Trafford and a heartfelt tribute before kick-off brought those present together in a minute’s silence in respect to the monarch. The players and officials wore black armbands, the flags over the stadium flew at half-mast, pitch-side advertising hoardings were turned off, and United issued a statement that offered condolences and gratitude for the monarch’s “immense contribution to public life”.











						Manchester United lose at home to Real Sociedad to stall Ten Hag’s progress
					

Brais Méndez scored a second-half penalty to fire Real Sociedad to a 1-0 win at Manchester United in the Europa League




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

I hope Freddie Mercury is ok


----------



## sojourner (Sep 9, 2022)

Jesus wept. They had some ridiculous fawning twats on the Today prog this morning. Some fella was saying how deeply he was mourning, cos he loved the Queen like he loved his mum.  If was his mum, I'd be fucking furious at that.


----------



## sojourner (Sep 9, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> I hope Freddie Mercury is ok


It's the Queen impersonators I feel sorry for. Out of a job now.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

Oh and in other news, or something, five climate tipping points have been reached. Blah blah blah


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

sojourner said:


> It's the Queen impersonators I feel sorry for. Out of a job now.


I often confuse Roger Taylor for Elton John.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> 2 full paragraphs of fawning nonsense beginning the grauniad's coverage of Man United's game last night.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Pass the sick bag.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Not my sort of peopleView attachment 341739



Yes, he's not wearing a black tie.

The cad.


----------



## Rebelda (Sep 9, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> It will be but they'll only let you through the gate if you're wearing a black tie.


Been updated to include a black armband now. Respectfully.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 9, 2022)

sojourner said:


> Jesus wept. They had some ridiculous fawning twats on the Today prog this morning. Some fella was saying how deeply he was mourning, cos he loved the Queen like he loved his mum.  If was his mum, I'd be fucking furious at that.



I watched a few minutes last night and they were in Windsor, banging on about how the people there hadn't just lost a queen, they'd lost a neighbour. And they actually managed to find someone from there to say that too. As if he used to see her just leaving the castle on the way to work at the same time in the morning or something.


----------



## Gerry1time (Sep 9, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> I hope Freddie Mercury is ok



That's the thing. Queen actually died back in November 1991. What's happened since has been but a poor tribute act to the original. That's the far more serious news that this thread should really be about tbh.


----------



## Gerry1time (Sep 9, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> I watched a few minutes last night and they were in Windsor, banging on about how the people there hadn't just lost a queen, they'd lost a neighbour. And they actually managed to find someone from there to say that too. As if he used to see her just leaving the castle on the way to work at the same time in the morning or something.



I wish he'd have come out with a grumble that she always left it to the weekend to take her bins in after rubbish day, and sometimes had bonfires just after he'd hung his washing out.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

sky TV were not 'on message' yesterday evening


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

sojourner said:


> It's the Queen impersonators I feel sorry for. Out of a job now.


... and the Charlie impersonators will have to inflate their fingers,


----------



## Chilli.s (Sep 9, 2022)

sojourner said:


> Jesus wept. They had some ridiculous fawning twats on the Today prog this morning. Some fella was saying how deeply he was mourning, cos he loved the Queen like he loved his mum.  If was his mum, I'd be fucking furious at that.


I love my Mum far more than the Queen. Mum is a few years younger than the Queen but worked to help other people all her life as a nurse, paid all her tax and NI, now in her old age the Queens state is determined to drain every penny she has left to pay for health and social care. The care she paid for all her life. If the Queen had any decency she would have exerted a bit more influence for the sake of her fellow people. Instead she chose not to.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

Shouldn't this thread be renamed now?


----------



## Supine (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> What do we reckon Urban?
> Croaked/not croaked?



Croaked


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

Spare a thought for the corgis and horses that are being slaughtered today as part of the funeral preparations, they’ll be going west with the queen, ablaze in a flaming royal yacht Britannia as it sails into the horizon


----------



## clicker (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> I'm coming down to London in a couple of weeks. Does anyone know if it will be open?


Bring your wellies , the streets are flooded with tears.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Pass the sick bag.


They are running the rainbow picture on their front page as well. It's a bit of a gift to broadcasters and newspapers, that image, but fucking hell you think they'd show a bit of restraint.  Sick bags all round.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

Gerry1time said:


> That's the thing. Queen actually died back in November 1991. What's happened since has been but a poor tribute act to the original. That's the far more serious news that this thread should really be about tbh.




Roger Taylor lives round the corner from me, will drop some flowers off at the gate to his gaff later.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Before I turned off all MSM last night (for the foreseeable) I heard some establishment cunt coming out with the old _everyone will remember exactly where they where when.._line.



We all will, though - same place we always are when some establishment cunt kicks the bucket, because whenever the news comes over that one of them's about to, we all pile in here to take refuge.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)

At work, as usual. 

Unlike the fucking Queen.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 9, 2022)

How can they blather away on the radio for hours and hours, days and days about her and her ilk. This is already too much.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

A lot of cones have appeared on certain roads in Aberdeen - from the city end of the A93 to the station and they have been cleared of parked vehicles overnight.  So it looks like that's going to be the route for the cortege.

The bin lorries are also out in force, emptying all the remaining street bins that were all overflowing from last week's strike!

The first cancellation is through at work.  I think I can safely say now that I was due to be working a visit by senior members of another of Europe's royal families next week.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

Virtually the only people I follow on Twitter are trans-activist, defund-the-police, white-supremacists-run-the-world, anti-establishment gammon-irritants - and even half of them are giving it 'now is not the time for blah blah people are hurting blah kindness and decency blah fucking blah'. I might have to unplug my router if this carries on


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> How can they blather away on the radio for hours and hours, days and days about her and her ilk. This is already too much.


the blather is unreal. even if somenoe is a royalist. ok i get she was well liked by royalists - but is the endless blather really necessary? Uncle Steve within families won't even have this much blather within the family.

if someone is a royalist, surely 15 minutes of viewing, feeling sad now and then, but argh the rigmarole. human beings have such strange attachments.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> How can they blather away on the radio for hours and hours, days and days about her and her ilk. This is already too much.



Days? It'll only just be over and back to normal scheduling when December starts and then they'll have to have 700 hours of special commemorative festive programming.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Shouldn't this thread be renamed now?


the queen elizabeth ii memorial thread


----------



## A380 (Sep 9, 2022)

It took us almost 20 years to build  the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier. Seems a bit of a waste  drag it up a hill from the Thames and bury the Queen  in it with all her jewels and dressed in her war gear.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 9, 2022)

My neighbours have left for the palace. she lit up their lives


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 9, 2022)

Eldest Q rang her Mother last night to ask "How's Dad taking the news that the Queen's Dead?" 
Mrs Q: "Pretty much as you might expect actually"
Very interesting conversation with Youngest Q this morning though on the subject of Chucky III now being King
Youngest: "How come,  doesn't he have to be crowned first"
Me: "He became King as soon as his Mum carked it and Camilla is Queen though I suspect the Diana nutters will have a rant about it"
Youngest: "Who's Diana?"
Me: "Chucky's first wife, died before you were born, mother of Blly and Harry"
Youngest: "Oh I thought Camilla was probably their mother"
Me: "Really"
Youngest: "Well I've not grown up in a pro-Queen household Dad and my sister is the one who watches the Crown not me"
I'm optimistic about the future this complete disinterest on the part of the younger generations will kill the monarchy far more surely than republicanism.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

A380 said:


> It took us almost 20 years to build  the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier. Seems a bit of a waste  drag it up a hill from the Thames and bury the Queen  in it with all her jewels and dressed in her war gear.


it'd be more useful doing that than waiting to be hit by some chinese anti-ship missile


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Eldest Q rang her Mother last night to ask "How's Dad taking the news that the Queen's Dead?"
> Mrs Q: "Pretty much as you might expect actually"
> Very interesting conversation with Youngest Q this morning though on the subject of Chucky III now being King
> Youngest: "How come,  doesn't he have to be crowned first"
> ...


this disinterest will ensure the monarchy's survival.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

Apparently now is not the time for mockery. Can anyone tell me when the time is right ?


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 9, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Apparently now is not the time for mockery. Can anyone tell me when the time is right ?



<Checks watch>

Hang on...


Wait a moment...


Not yet...


Ok have at it.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Apparently now is not the time for mockery. Can anyone tell me when the time is right ?


now is the time for mockery


----------



## teqniq (Sep 9, 2022)

This:


----------



## rekil (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> My neighbours have left for the palace. she lit up their lives



Paint their windows black. #respect


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

if millwall vs qpr is cancelled on tuesday i am going to do a poo outside the gates and start throwing it people. seriously. it's the only brigth spark i have in the next ten days of gruel.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

A380 said:


> It took us almost 20 years to build  the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier. Seems a bit of a waste  drag it up a hill from the Thames and bury the Queen  in it with all her jewels and dressed in her war gear.



Worth it for the bit where they make Witchell walk the plank first, though.


----------



## LeytonCatLady (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Puts things in perspective a bit
> 
> 
> 
> That's actually half the prime ministers in my life time!



Even _more_ perspective


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

Spare a thought for the real victim here, Jeannette Charles is now out of work


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 9, 2022)

A380 said:


> It took us almost 20 years to build  the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier. Seems a bit of a waste  drag it up a hill from the Thames and bury the Queen  in it with all her jewels and dressed in her war gear.


tsk tsk - you cant really put a price on these things.


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 9, 2022)

Apparently when someone mentions the news replying  "What the lady from the stamps?" isn't appropriate.


----------



## t0bytoo (Sep 9, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Roger Taylor lives round the corner from me, will drop some flowers off at the gate to his gaff later.


My mate lives across the street!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

some committee at the bbc must have put some time on to deciding what songs are sad enough to be on the radio london playlist for today.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 9, 2022)

My thougts such as they are worth - 
Whatever the likes of us repubicans think -the sadness and shock at Brenda checking out is totally understandable. (the north korean style compulsory mourning can do one however).
She's been there 70 years - living monument, took her job very seriously to the point of completely submerging her personality to the role   and didnt exactly live it up with the old glmaour, sex , drugs etc- just dogs, having a flutter  and the odd bit of bird strangling - that will engender respect and affection.
But we are now supposed to unquestionably transfer all that kneeling and bowing and scraping to her fuckwit weirdo of a son? Who has achieved nothing remotely notable in his 70 odd years despite undreamed of wealth and privilege. Fuck. That.
In the space of two days we have had our head of state and the prime minister appointed via ancient hereditary privilege and a vote by 0.1 % of the population mostly made up of elderly golf club types living in the home counties.
Its would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragically pathetic. Its the 21st century, millions of people are facing the threat of financial ruin and we have a looming climate emergency and this is how the country is run?
RIP Liz - but Fuck the monarchy. Fuck off King Sausage Fingers. And fuck the corrupt, incompetent shit show of our system of government and entrenched privilege.
11


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

t0bytoo said:


> My mate lives across the street!




Near The Good Intent?


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 9, 2022)

Radio 2 has cancelled Popmaster and Ken Bruce is playing a non-stop onslaught of mawkish sentimental muzak. Wtf?


----------



## t0bytoo (Sep 9, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Near The Good Intent?


Closer. Do you live there too?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> My thougts such as they are worth -
> Whatever the likes of us repubicans think -the sadness and shock at Brenda checking out is totally understandable. (the north korean style compulsory mourning can do one however).
> She's been there 70 years - living monument, took her job very seriously to the point of completely submerging her personality to the role   and didnt exactly live it up with the old glmaour, sex , drugs etc- just dogs, having a flutter  and the odd bit of bird strangling - that will engender respect and affection.
> But we are now supposed to unquestionably transfer all that kneeling and bowing and scraping to her fuckwit weirdo of a son? Who has achieved nothing remotely notable in his 70 odd years despite undreamed of wealth and privilege. Fuck. That.
> ...


as ever, don't mourn- organise


----------



## chilango (Sep 9, 2022)

Anyone else reckon Charles got tired of waiting and got the boys from the Paris team back together for one last job?


----------



## smmudge (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> How can they blather away on the radio for hours and hours, days and days about her and her ilk. This is already too much.



It's all a clever plan to get the neutral fence sitters calling for their abolishment.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 9, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Radio 2 has cancelled Popmaster


 its like they WANT a revolution!!


----------



## Numbers (Sep 9, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> My thougts such as they are worth -
> Whatever the likes of us repubicans think -the sadness and shock at Brenda checking out is totally understandable. (the north korean style compulsory mourning can do one however).
> She's been there 70 years - living monument, took her job very seriously to the point of completely submerging her personality to the role   and didnt exactly live it up with the old glmaour, sex , drugs etc- just dogs, having a flutter  and the odd bit of bird strangling - that will engender respect and affection.
> But we are now supposed to unquestionably transfer all that kneeling and bowing and scraping to her fuckwit weirdo of a son? Who has achieved nothing remotely notable in his 70 odd years despite undreamed of wealth and privilege. Fuck. That.
> ...


What's the 11 for?


----------



## marty21 (Sep 9, 2022)

toblerone3 said:


> Oh no Bristol Zoo has closed forever.
> 
> ‘It’s a sad day’: Bristol zoo welcomes last visitors before closing


bit ott


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 9, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I know it's wrong to judge people on their looks, but he looks like a right nasty arsehole.


I just thought the same thing!


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 9, 2022)

marty21 said:


> bit ott


I've been there twice the last time in February. We really enjoyed it.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

Tiktok is proving both infuriating and exhilarating at the same time. Some good work on there from British urban youth that is spot on.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 9, 2022)

chilango said:


> Anyone else reckon Charles got tired of waiting and got the boys from the Paris team back together for one last job?



I reckon it was because of this story, he wanted to lump it all on William asap. It was widely published earlier this week but has been deleted from all news websites bar the Daily Mail:









						Poldark Mine forced to shut after not paying rent to Prince Charles
					

EXCLUSIVE: The heir to the throne has taken court action against the owner of Wheal Roots Tin Mine - known as the Poldark Mine - over unpaid rent on the lease of the underground passages.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> My neighbours have left for the palace. she lit up their lives


Really? Two days to get to the ground before the Man United game?


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 9, 2022)

prunus said:


> Morning. She still dead then?


No, she has just entered her chrysalis stage


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Numbers said:


> What's the 11 for?


The amp.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

chilango said:


> Anyone else reckon Charles got tired of waiting and got the boys from the Paris team back together for one last job?


'Ooh, son, it's like I'm going through a tunnel and there's a light at the end'
- yep man, that's it, something like that.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

Oh, the Queen’s dead is she? I hadn’t heard.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 9, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> this disinterest will ensure the monarchy's survival.


No I don't think so, not in the long run. The disinterested effectively will always go along with the majority of the interested on the grounds that they can't be bothered not to. And at the moment the majority interested are the pro's and will be for a while but Youngest has just turned 20 putting her smack in the middle of the 18-24 year old group of which only 33% support the monarchy. I can't see that changing and time is as always on the side of the young. 
That's why I'm glad that the throne has gone to Chucky rather than Billy The Bald. A 73 year old who has lived his life largely wrapped in a cocoon of wealth and privilege whilst not actually doing much is not likely to connect with the likes of my daughter and her friends. Billy is much younger and whilst I am definitely no royalist I get the impression he is genuinely much more likeable than his old man and more 'down with the kids' as it were. A decade or so of waiting for Pops to peg it will tarnish him.
The monarchy is going to see out you and me unfortunately but I am convinced it won't see out Youngest Q.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

Uninterested. UN-fucking-interested. It’s not fucking hard. Jesus fuck.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

Gerry1time said:


> That's the thing. Queen actually died back in November 1991. What's happened since has been but a poor tribute act to the original. That's the far more serious news that this thread should really be about tbh.


These are the days of our lives


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

t0bytoo said:


> Closer. Do you live there too?



Godalming, Puttenham's too quiet!


----------



## elbows (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> I’d been led to believe she’d just been struggling with her mobility


The media made no secret yesterday of the fact the main thing we should really believe about royal health matters is that they are very secretive about them and that statements are rare and understated. Yesterday they mostly went on about this in the context of how unusual the initial 12.30-ish statement was, the significance of us even being told that doctors were concerned about her health.

This sort of stuff stretches beyond royalty too, theres loads of examples of the health of our elected leaders being covered up to varying degrees over the decades. The extent to which complete coverups can be assured has certainly changed over time, which has a real effect on the extent to which they try to suppress such things, and for how long. But this stuff is still in a category where at the very least plenty of control and information management is attempted, and things evolve more slowly with the royal family. Johnsons Covid emergency health problems involved a period of downplaying stuff big time and meaningless reassurances, then a period of the information being relatively timely but still lacking in highly specific detail, followed by a return to not being treated to much info at all. The period where we did get info about how serious it was probably ended up that way because of fears of leaks and rumours, and because they felt that they had to set the scene to some extent in case he didnt make it.

In this case mobility concerns became a nice convenient catch-all that could be relied upon to cover all manner of possible health issues and the Queens absence from all manner of things during this final chapter of her life. The most significant indicator that something had changed was last October when we were told that she had stayed in hospital overnight and had some tests, but no further info of any substance about that was ever forthcoming. But there was a sometimes palpable sense of concern as to whether she would make it through the jubilee celebrations period.


----------



## bimble (Sep 9, 2022)

sorry if already here but this is just amazing. 
A nation plunged so deeply into mourning that it cant even indulge its favourite pastime of talking about the weather?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

bimble said:


> sorry if already here but this is just amazing.
> A nation plunged so deeply into mourning that it cant even indulge its favourite pastime of talking about the weather?
> View attachment 341818


It will encourage talking about the weather. But I've posted my two favourite ones, Ann summers and the British kebab awards sending their condolences


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> A friend and I were talking at the pub last night and we had both separately had the idea that she knew her time was up so went to Scotland to die in an effort to keep the United Kingdom, united. *Pretty shit for those Scots people who want independence and also pretty shit for those of us this side of the border who think it's a good idea.* Also I'll just leave this here:



Why would it make any difference that she died in Scotland rather than England? Can't see it mattering a jot either way. 🤷‍♀️


----------



## StoneRoad (Sep 9, 2022)

Although there are a number of topics I want to stay up-to-date with, I think I might have to swear off the various news channels for a bit.
Even ClassicFM was mawkish earlier - as in the one news bulletin was entirely about "The Queen is dead, Long live the King".


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

Oh dear.  Chucked out of the fish fryers club:









						National Federation of Fish Fryers oust Highland chip shop that celebrated Queen's death by popping champagne
					

The National Federation of Fish Fryers has ousted a Highland chip shop that celebrated the death of the Queen by spraying champagne - while cheering in a




					www.pressandjournal.co.uk


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

elbows said:


> The media made no secret yesterday of the fact the main thing we should really believe about royal health matters is that they are very secretive about them and that statements are rare and understated. Yesterday they mostly went on about this in the context of how unusual the initial 12.30-ish statement was, the significance of us even being told that doctors were concerned about her health.
> 
> This sort of stuff stretches beyond royalty too, theres loads of examples of the health of our elected leaders being covered up to varying degrees over the decades. The extent to which complete coverups can be assured has certainly changed over time, which has a real effect on the extent to which they try to suppress such things, and for how long. But this stuff is still in a category where at the very least plenty of control and information management is attempted, and things evolve more slowly with the royal family. Johnsons Covid emergency health problems involved a period of downplaying stuff big time and meaningless reassurances, then a period of the information being relatively timely but still lacking in highly specific detail, followed by a return to not being treated to much info at all. The period where we did get info about how serious it was probably ended up that way because of fears of leaks and rumours, and because they felt that they had to set the scene to some extent in case he didnt make it.
> 
> In this case mobility concerns became a nice convenient catch-all that could be relied upon to cover all manner of possible health issues and the Queens absence from all manner of things during this final chapter of her life. The most significant indicator that something had changed was last October when we were told that she had stayed in hospital overnight and had some tests, but no further info of any substance about that was ever forthcoming. But there was a sometimes palpable sense of concern as to whether she would make it through the jubilee celebrations period.


Yes it was sarcastic


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Oh, the Queen’s dead is she? I hadn’t heard.


Yep. Sorry to break the news. I’m sure the press will give further details about it. So sorry for your loss


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Oh dear.  Chucked out of the fish fryers club:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Friars used to come to much worse fates for not sufficiently supporting the monarch...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

Magpies and bears mourn North Korea's "Dear Leader"
					

The passing of North Korean strongman Kim Jong-il has been marked by plunging temperatures, mourning bears and now, according to North Korean state media, by flocks of magpies.




					www.reuters.com
				




Wildlife mourned fir the dear leader. Our traitorous British fauna are too woke to grieve


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

> People in the public and private sector involved in planning their organisation’s response to the Queen’s death are expected to be flexible and give employees the day off if they are particularly upset.


I will definitely be particularly upset that Monday


----------



## teqniq (Sep 9, 2022)

Sue said:


> Why would it make any difference that she died in Scotland rather than England? Can't see it mattering a jot either way. 🤷‍♀️


Because the underlying message is that Scotland is very much part of the UK and should remain so. Furthermore the royals have a property in Scotland, Balmoral castle and estate for starters. If Scotland gained independence this could be called into question.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Oh dear.  Chucked out of the fish fryers club:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I’m getting a banner blocking the story. Tell me the name of the chip shop, I’d like to send the owner a donation.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 9, 2022)

N_igma said:


> Here in south Armagh the opening hours will be extended.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

Had this yet?


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

Sue said:


> Why would it make any difference that she died in Scotland rather than England? Can't see it mattering a jot either way. 🤷‍♀️


I’m glad she died in Scotland. Hope it sends a message to the rest of the cunts.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Had this yet?



Never heard of him, but he seems sound.


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Because the underlying message is that Scotland is very much part of the UK and should remain so. Furthermore the royals have a property in Scotland, Balmoral castle and estate for starters. If Scotland gained independence this could be called into question.


And...? Still not getting your point. 

'Should remain so.'  

What could be called into question?


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I’m glad she died in Scotland. Hope it sends a message to the rest of the cunts.



It was also the site of the official death of Boris Johnson's premiership, not a bad 48 hours.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Radio 2 has cancelled Popmaster and Ken Bruce is playing a non-stop onslaught of mawkish sentimental muzak. Wtf?


Step away from the tv and radio. (Beeb channels in particular)


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 9, 2022)

planetgeli said:


> Why are they all so sad? Doesn't she get to sing with angels at God's knee now? Probably a step down for her though.


Billy Connolly once said that he thought The Queen would find heaven a bit disappointing,


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

Ten fucking days of this!


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

UrbaneFox said:


> Billy Connolly once said that he thought The Queen would find heaven a bit disappointing,


No fresh paint smell?


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

Can someone explain to me why all the flags in the US are being lowered?  She wasn't our Queen.  Lowering the flags at the embassy is fine, but the entire US?  I know the UK is part of our history, but that relationship is history for a reason.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I’m getting a banner blocking the story. Tell me the name of the chip shop, I’d like to send the owner a donation.



Jaki's at Muir of Ord:





__





						Jaki Chip Shop - Jaki Chip Shop
					

Fish & chip shop in Muir of Ord, providing takeaway and collections.




					www.jaki-chippy.co.uk
				




More here:









						Ross-shire chippy sparks angry scenes with video posted after death of The Queen
					

Police today confirmed their involvement in an incident which sparked a furious local response.




					www.ross-shirejournal.co.uk
				




Must have been the biggest thing to happen in Muir of Ord for years!


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

tommers said:


> Has she risen again yet?



Three days is the standard turnaround time.


----------



## rubbershoes (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Three days is the standard turnaround time.



the gestation period for lizards is between 90 and 100 days


----------



## Petcha (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Can someone explain to me why all the flags in the US are being lowered?  She wasn't our Queen.  Lowering the flags at the embassy is fine, but the entire US?  I know the UK is part of our history, but that relationship is history for a reason.



Netflix


----------



## Petcha (Sep 9, 2022)

What a waste of ammo is going on here with all the shooting shit into the air. Send it to Ukraine.. jesus this is gonna go on and on and on and on and on


----------



## Chz (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Because the underlying message is that Scotland is very much part of the UK and should remain so. Furthermore the royals have a property in Scotland, Balmoral castle and estate for starters. If Scotland gained independence this could be called into question.


All the "official" proposal set forward for Scottish independence kept the English monarch as Head of State. For the time being, at least. It's a way of spreading out the work involved - there's a helluva lot of legislation to re-write in becoming a Republic, so sort out the big stuff (independence) first and get to that later.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> A friend and I were talking at the pub last night and we had both separately had the idea that she knew her time was up so went to Scotland to die in an effort to keep the United Kingdom, united. Pretty shit for those Scots people who want independence and also pretty shit for those of us this side of the border who think it's a good idea. Also I'll just leave this here:




That wouldn't surprise me, but it could be as simple as she wanted to go to a favorite place.  When it's my time, I'm dragging my ass to my favorite hiking spot. Fuck hospitals.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

rubbershoes said:


> the gestation period for lizards is between 90 and 100 days



My mistake.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 9, 2022)

elbows said:


> They havent mentioned her sense of humour much yet.


They tried to but Theresa May put a firm stop to it.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Jaki's at Muir of Ord:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Sorry they were vandalised by morons.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Can someone explain to me why all the flags in the US are being lowered?  She wasn't our Queen.  Lowering the flags at the embassy is fine, but the entire US?  I know the UK is part of our history, but that relationship is history for a reason.


Performative centrism.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 9, 2022)

All these fucking tributes -- how she travelled all over the world, how she cared about everyone, how she asked serious questions and gave advice to politicians based on her extensive experience. What a load of shit.

I wish I could remember who it was who related about how he had been at a garden party or the like, and the Queen asked him why workmen didn't wear boots any more, when they used to. She asked 'if there had been a law or something'.

Obviously, I can't vouch for the truth of the story, but if it is -- how could anyone take her seriously, about anything? Yes, she'd lived a long time, and seen many places, and met many important people. And thought that footwear was regulated by law.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I’m glad she died in Scotland. Hope it sends a message to the rest of the cunts.



The thing is, I think they planned it that way.  Maybe to help manage the transition and things down south, or maybe she actually chose to go there?

Craigowan Lodge, near the castle and where in recent years she has spent part of each summer before moving to Balmoral has undergone significant modifications these last couple of years, including a wheelchair lift and on-site medical facilities.  In anticipation I would think - I reckon she will have died there, not Balmoral itself?


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

pogofish said:


> The thing is, I think they planned it that way.


I think so too. I was just making a joke.  I’ve had a bad morning and I’m focusing my anger on the royal cunts.


----------



## Reno (Sep 9, 2022)

One nice thing about living in Berlin is that nobody here gives a shit.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 9, 2022)

Reno said:


> One nice thing about living in Berlin is that nobody here gives a shit.



Ahem. Her close relatives are one of your most famous exports arent they? Such disrespect.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Because the underlying message is that Scotland is very much part of the UK and should remain so. Furthermore the royals have a property in Scotland, Balmoral castle and estate for starters. If Scotland gained independence this could be called into question.



Possibly that but not where Balmoral is concerned.  As the Personal property of the monarch, Balmoral has only had very limited/occasional state functions, so its continued ownership by any Royal has never been an issue. Similarly Birkhall, Dumfries House the Castle of May and a few other places.  Although there has been strong hints locally that the focus may now move to Birkhall (private residence of the Queen Mother, and now Charles) as the Monarch's residence, with Balmoral being converted to a museum and opened more fully to the public.  

The Palace of Holyroodhouse and other places with definite State purposes are a different matter though but control of the Crown Estate in Scotland has already been handed over to the Scottish Government.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 9, 2022)

Sue said:


> And...? Still not getting your point.
> 
> 'Should remain so.'
> 
> What could be called into question?


My turn to use  alas. You can come out and call me a fantasist if you like, it wouldn't be the first time lol. However my mate is dead sensible and not given to flights of fancy and the same thought (the reason for her going to Scotland) occurred to him. The reasons for it which you asked me to expand upon are obviously speculation on my part but not so far-fetched imo. I am not too willing (cba actually as on lunchbreak ) to explain them further. I see Chz and pogofish have shed some light on the situation which I did not know and is helpful


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Possibly that but not where Balmoral is concerned.  As the Personal property of the monarch, Balmoral has only had very limited/occasional state functions, so its continued ownership by any Royal has never been an issue. Similarly Birkhall, Dumfries House the Castle of May and a few other places.  Although there has been strong hints locally that the focus may now move to Birkhall (private residence of the Queen Mother, and now Charles) as the Monarch's residence, with Balmoral being converted to a museum and opened more fully to the public.
> 
> The Palace of Holyroodhouse and other places with definite State purposes are a different matter though but control of the Crown Estate in Scotland has already been handed over to the Scottish Government.



"Gimme 20 bucks and I'll show you where my mother died?"  Ick.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 9, 2022)

Sue said:


> And...? Still not getting your point.
> 
> 'Should remain so.'
> 
> What could be called into question?


I think I get the point. It's not a coincidence that the royal family's principal private residence is a fuck-off estate in Scotland. They're supposed to transcend English/Scottish/Welsh, aren't they? Hence queen sending her kids to private schools in Scotland as well. It's a way of laying claim to the dominion.


----------



## story (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Can someone explain to me why all the flags in the US are being lowered?  She wasn't our Queen.  Lowering the flags at the embassy is fine, but the entire US?  I know the UK is part of our history, but that relationship is history for a reason.




How wierd.

Maybe part of the larger blind fetishism about flags there?


----------



## story (Sep 9, 2022)

I’m going to see The Queen’s Head play a gig tonight.


----------



## T & P (Sep 9, 2022)

So... are swans free-to-eat for all now, at least until Charles gets sworn in?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 9, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Oh dear.  Chucked out of the fish fryers club:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


To be fair, she's also Qanon, covid denier, who also genuinely believes the monarchy are lizards, so fuck her.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

story said:


> How wierd.
> 
> Maybe part of the larger blind fetishism about flags there?



I've noticed over the last decade that they lower the flags for nearly anything.  Long ago, it was rare to lower it and usually, only when a president died.  It's almost down more than its up now.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> So... are swans free-to-eat for all now, at least until Charles gets sworn in?



Dolphins and whales too.


----------



## LDC (Sep 9, 2022)

Sturgeon too. But not Nicola.


----------



## story (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I've noticed over the last decade that they lower the flags for nearly anything.  Long ago, it was rare to lower it and usually, only when a president died.  It's almost down more than its up now.



So we should change the name from the StarsnBars to the Bride‘s Nightie


----------



## story (Sep 9, 2022)

(Is it the stars and bars? Or is that one of the older versions?)


(eta
I’ve just looked this up. It refers to an old Confederate flag that represented SC and other Southern states, which makes sense of why I’m so familiar with the term. It’s been part of my background vernacular all my life and I always assumed it referred to the modern flag. Turns out it’s part of my local my SC roots. So I suppose my post ^^ should have referred to Old Glory rather than the SnBs
The more you know..,.)


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> "Gimme 20 bucks and I'll show you where my mother died?"  Ick.



It costs about that just now, where you get to look round the outside of the castle, gardens, riverside walk and maybe have afternoon tea or a browse in the staggeringly expensive cafe/shop.  The only inside access being the Ballroom, which has a few exhibits, some photos, boards on environmental work on the estate and usually an art installation - this year it is a rather cool-looking glass representation of salmon running.

If they do reopen to as the official Queen in the Highlands museum, I think it will cost a whole lot more!

Although if she did die at Craigowan, that will never be opened to the public as it is one of the places they put-up other Royals/special guests/Jeffery Epstien types etc - only the most immediate family have a place in the castle itself.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

story said:


> (Is it the stars and bars? Or is that one of the older versions?)
> 
> 
> (eta
> ...



"Stars and bars" is the Confederate flag.  The current flag is the "Stars and stripes."


----------



## extra dry (Sep 9, 2022)

someone in the chambers has a covid cough.  Spam the comments its nuts in there


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

pogofish said:


> It costs about that just now, where you get to look round the outside of the castle, gardens, riverside walk and maybe have afternoon tea or a browse in the staggeringly expensive cafe/shop.  The only inside access being the Ballroom, which has a few exhibits, some photos, boards on environmental work on the estate and usually an art installation - this year it is a rather cool-looking glass representation of salmon running.
> 
> If they do reopen to as the official Queen in the Highlands museum, I think it will cost a whole lot more!
> 
> Although if she did die at Craigowan, that will never be opened to the public as it is one of the places they put-up other Royals/special guests/Jeffery Epstien types etc - only the most immediate family have a place in the castle itself.



I can't imagine how much having tea there would cost.  It's like $150 for a low-end hotel tea in Chicago, ranging to $300 for something more upscale.  I guess my lower-class roots are showing when I'm shocked by the numbers.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

story said:


> How wierd.
> 
> Maybe part of the larger blind fetishism about flags there?



Royal family are pretty popular over there, aren't they? As long as we don't attempt to re-impose them, that is.


----------



## story (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> "Stars and bars" is the Confederate flag.  The current flag is the "Stars and stripes."



I never knew that I never knew this.

My SC kin (some of whom STILL fly the confederate flag) have always referred to the Stars and Bars. I guess it’s just something I made an assumption about at some early age (cos the Stars and Bars is different to the other confederate flag, and Old Glory is kinda stars and bars…)


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Royal family are pretty popular over there, aren't they? As long as we don't attempt to re-impose them, that is.



At this point they might be an improvement over our other options.


----------



## extra dry (Sep 9, 2022)

THinking of telling everyone at work I need ten days off now.  Plus every overseas British subject can return to pay respectas


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

my money is on 436 pages.


----------



## story (Sep 9, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Royal family are pretty popular over there, aren't they? As long as we don't attempt to re-impose them, that is.



Yes, yes they are. 

When my Granny was alive she’d love to come over and take coach trips and tourist tours to royal palaces. When we were kiddies she’d drag us with her. Her kids, my aunts, inherited her love of royalty. One of them who’s never been out the country is glued to Royal news. I imagine she’s very affected by Queenie’s death. Another aunt was over earlier in the year and did the Irish tour to (successfully) find the graves of our forefathers in Omagh, and also made sure to visit Royal Scotland (as opposed to any other kind of Scotland) and also Royal London. I’ve just checked her FB feed and she’s got tributes to Brenda up there in full TechnicoloR


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I can't imagine how much having tea there would cost.  It's like $150 for a low-end hotel tea in Chicago, ranging to $300 for something more upscale.  I guess my lower-class roots are showing when I'm shocked by the numbers.



I don't think its that bad but I'm remembering that it was about £40 per person but for that price, you didn't get much.  We looked-up there on Jubilee Sunday as a "we ought to do it someday" kind of thing and it was actually well done/tasteful compared to the horrendous "Queen-Fest 2022" going on in OH's home town Ballater nearby. There is plenty of space, so it never felt busy, we could take her dog, it was a lovely day and the excellent Queen's piper came out and played for a while, explaining each tune as he went along.  Short of actually bunkering down and avoiding the Jubilee altogether, it was about the best thing we could have chosen to do.

However one look at the cafe and it was just NO!  So we had a coffee from the window, then went to the nearby Highlanders Bakehouse, which is owned by a nice young local couple who do excellent lunches, cakes and rowies and were so pleased to see us back after Lockdown that we left with bags of free cakes and rowies on top of our late lunch!   

Tripadvisor sums it-up pretty well:



> Booked afternoon tea at Balmoral, as a treat, thinking it would be a Royal Experience.
> 
> It's one of those "expectation vs reality" situations.
> 
> ...



Afternoon Tea on the Royal yacht Britannia in Edinburgh is a far better experience by comparison - and a very interesting ship to visit!


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

Here's the commemorative plates already:






						The Bradford Exchange | Collector Plates, Jewelry, Figurines, Collectibles and More
					

Official site of The Bradford Exchange! Shop for collectibles, NFL gifts, Thomas Kinkade merchandise, exclusive jewelry and personalized gifts for all occasions. Order today!




					www.bradfordexchange.com


----------



## pogofish (Sep 9, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> To be fair, she's also Qanon, covid denier, who also genuinely believes the monarchy are lizards, so fuck her.



Yeah - I have noticed that large portions of these guys have taken a strongly/aggressively anti-monarchist stance as part of their fear of control by "the elites" Its always been there with the Qanon crowd but it has become increasingly more strident amongst the COVID-deniers and their ideology-creep post pandemic, along with their hatred of the NHS, immigration etc.


----------



## extra dry (Sep 9, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Ten fucking days of this!


you should try standing on a chair, and sing the new national anthem backwards, that will distract you for a while


----------



## maomao (Sep 9, 2022)

Can't be arsed to go through the thread to see if this is a pearoast which means it almost certainly is:



I also managed to slightly subvert the centrally planned queen is dead lesson I had to teach to eleven year olds. 'So our new king is Charles the third, can anyone tell me what happened to Charles the second?'


----------



## Santino (Sep 9, 2022)

maomao said:


> Can't be arsed to go through the thread to see if this is a pearoast which means it almost certainly is:
> 
> View attachment 341857
> 
> I also managed to slightly subvert the centrally planned queen is dead lesson I had to teach to eleven year olds. 'So our new king is Charles the third, can anyone tell me what happened to Charles the second?'


'He had lots of parties, did lots of shagging and generally had a whale of a time.'


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

My brother has gone to the local abbey and lit a candle and been interviewed apparently.

He’s always been odd about the royal family, used to demand to watch the speech at Christmas even though no one else cares and didn’t grow up watching it. Would also state with solemnity “they’re better than us”.

Then again he is a Liberal Democrat member so he clearly has a few screws loose


----------



## maomao (Sep 9, 2022)

Santino said:


> 'He had lots of parties, did lots of shagging and generally had a whale of a time.'


My mum literally wrote the book on the English Civil War. Thanks for pointing that out before I spoke to her. Meanwhile there are 31 eleven year olds in Essex who think the wrong Charles got his head cut off. They'll have forgotten by Monday if it's like anything else I tell them though.


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

Santino said:


> 'He had lots of parties, did lots of shagging and generally had a whale of a time.'


'His dad though. There's a story and a half...'


----------



## Doctor Carrot (Sep 9, 2022)

Mrs Carrot saw a dead Swan yesterday. How often do you see a dead Swan? I've never seen one. She thought it an oman, I said it must have committed hari-kari upon hearing the news.


----------



## tim (Sep 9, 2022)

Santino said:


> 'He had lots of parties, did lots of shagging and generally had a whale of a time.'


He hid up an oak tree


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

tim said:


> He hid up an oak tree


The famous Royal Oak after the battle of worcester


----------



## tim (Sep 9, 2022)

Have the corgies and dorgies been out down yet?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

tim said:


> Have the corgies and dorgies been out down yet?


Yes they have to be buried with her along with all the servants.


----------



## kenny g (Sep 9, 2022)

maomao said:


> My mum literally wrote the book on the English Civil War. Thanks for pointing that out before I spoke to her. Meanwhile there are 31 eleven year olds in Essex who think the wrong Charles got his head cut off. They'll have forgotten by Monday if it's like anything else I tell them though.j


Just explain to them on Monday that you were overcome by grief and mixed up your lines of Charlie. Being from Essex I am sure they will understand.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 9, 2022)

What the fuck?


----------



## bellaozzydog (Sep 9, 2022)

Is there a thread for nefarious business the Tory government are going to force through on the sly while we are all listening to slow music and gnashing teeth about the peoples queen


----------



## quimcunx (Sep 9, 2022)

News buried while the Queen remains unburied
					

I don't know if there will be much of it, given Parliament seems to be shut down(?), but keep an eye out anyway.  This was on the Guardian just while the news was breaking so will not receive the attention it would have otherwise: Liz Truss reveals campaign donation of £100,000 from wife of...




					www.urban75.net
				




Yes


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> What the fuck?



No doubt trying to stop any "disrespectful" petitions starting off like tax payers not paying for funeral, abolish the monarchy etc, etc.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

moochedit said:


> No doubt trying to stop any "disrespectful" petitions starting off like tax payers not paying for funeral, abolish the monarchy etc, etc.


... hang the king ...


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> What the fuck?



We're not even a 'democracy'.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 9, 2022)

I finally have use for my family’s WhatsApp group — it’s full of people taking the piss out of the hysteria


----------



## Dandred (Sep 9, 2022)

Just wondering how expensive this is all going to be, all the letter boxes will need to be changed, the stamps, no more QCs, the bank notes.......

Seems a bit pointless really if charlie is only going to be about for around 20 years.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> We're not even a 'democracy'.


They are eligible aren't they? I mean if not they should be, regardless of the death of unelected blood overlords. But I'm on ESA and I got the first half. Have I misunderstood?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

Dandred said:


> Just wondering how expensive this is all going to be, all the letter boxes will need to be changed, the stamps, no more QCs, the bank notes.......
> 
> Seems a bit pointless really if charlie is only going to be about for around 20 years.


I don't know about letterboxes and stamps but the notes and coins will just get gradually replaced as they wear out. They won't withdraw them all in one go.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 9, 2022)

They don't replace the postboxes when there's a change in monarch, there's still some Victorian ones around.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

Doctor Carrot said:


> Mrs Carrot saw a dead Swan yesterday. How often do you see a dead Swan? I've never seen one. She thought it an oman, I said it must have committed hari-kari upon hearing the news.



Someone killed it in the brief gap between QEII dying and QCIII ascending to the throne - the only time you are allowed to do so without being executed for treason - but didn't manage to cook and eat it quick enough.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

The verb you are looking for is 'lie', Nigel - 'lie', not 'lay'.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> The verb you are looking for is 'lie', Nigel - 'lie', not 'lay'.



there's an easy way that farage could improve everyone's mood


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> The verb you are looking for is 'lie', Nigel - 'lie', not 'lay'.



you lay flowers, i think you'll find. you don't lie flowers.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 9, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Someone killed it in the brief gap between QEII dying and QCIII ascending to the throne - the only time you are allowed to do so without being executed for treason - but didn't manage to cook and eat it quick enough.



I read somewhere yesterday that the only thing in the universe that is faster than light is the accession to the throne as it happens so quickly as to be imperceptible.


----------



## goldenecitrone (Sep 9, 2022)

Somebody on the radio this morning was comparing her to Martin Luther King and Gandhi. He then went on to suggest that she should be considered for sainthood. Best laugh I've had all day.


----------



## Cerv (Sep 9, 2022)

G-A-Y bar and Heaven were closed last night. Porn Idol (the weekly amateur striptease contest) was cancelled.
Can only assume that Charles, Will & Harry had signed up to enter. couldn't be replaced when they obviously had to pull out at the last minute.


----------



## JoeyBoy (Sep 9, 2022)

We were all called together at the start of the shift and the floor manager read out a prepared statement obviously as bored with it as I was. The company and its staff regret the death of Queen Elizabeth yada yada yada ... 
I zoned out after a bit. Apparently if we wanted subject to management approval we could go home and take the day off as unpaid leave to grieve if we wanted so fuck that, I don't miss her that much.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Dandred said:


> Just wondering how expensive this is all going to be, all the letter boxes will need to be changed, the stamps, no more QCs, the bank notes.......
> 
> Seems a bit pointless really if charlie is only going to be about for around 20 years.


The letter boxes don't need changing, the qcs are changing their stationery, the bank notes and coins will change in a bit


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

goldenecitrone said:


> Somebody on the radio this morning was comparing her to Martin Luther King and Gandhi. He then went on to suggest that she should be considered for sainthood. Best laugh I've had all day.


If only someone had assassinated her years back too


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

BBC R6 still in (pre-coffee) Sunday am mode....arrrrggggh


----------



## xsunnysuex (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

Pity Florence Nightingale isn't still on the banknotes. If she was we'd have somebody who believes in, y'know, science and stuff, along with a new age dickhead who believes in homeopathy and other assorted shite.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

xsunnysuex said:


> View attachment 341884


Now and again there are news stories about people who've spent so long on the toilet they're attached to the thing


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

By the by, has chucky now passed the Duchy of Cornwall money factory on william now?


----------



## xsunnysuex (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> By the by, has chucky now passed the Duchy of Cornwall money factory on william now?


Yes


----------



## T & P (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Pity Florence Nightingale isn't still on the banknotes. If she was we'd have somebody who believes in, y'know, science and stuff, along with a new age dickhead who believes in homeopathy and other assorted shite.


The house plants behind my computer just got a glimpse of your post, and are currently very angry and upset with you.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

Work colleage today: "I'm sorry but she's 96. They're lucky to have her that long. Hids  no like the auld cunt died o herd work!"


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> BBC R6 still in (pre-coffee) Sunday am mode....arrrrggggh



I've avoided all the apparent shite by not watching or listening but today had to take a bunch of kids out in the bus and they insist on the radio to hear insanely dire modern pop music on Heart or some Swansea amateur shite. But today the music was all mournful and downbeat (I didn't know Beyonce did this stuff) and even the kids got pissed off. It genuinely took me about half hour to connect why they were playing this mournful shite.


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Pity Florence Nightingale isn't still on the banknotes. If she was we'd have somebody who believes in, y'know, science and stuff, along with a new age dickhead who believes in homeopathy and other assorted shite.



Actually Florence Nightingale was opposed to germ theory, didn't insist on nurses and other staff washing their hands between treating patients, and had a high death rate as a result.

I don't know why people still idolise her.


----------



## cesare (Sep 9, 2022)

Dandred said:


> Just wondering how expensive this is all going to be, all the letter boxes will need to be changed, the stamps, no more QCs, the bank notes.......
> 
> Seems a bit pointless really if charlie is only going to be about for around 20 years.


The QCs will just become KCs?


----------



## bimble (Sep 9, 2022)

What does this actually mean? what does it signify 'the length of national mourning' what are we supposed to do not do / expect for these decreed number of days? or is it just a word for 'the bit until she is buried'.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

Maybe it's cos of the drudgery that's imposed when one of these scumbags checks out that the anthem says Long Live Our Noble Queen/King - a long life for them is genuinely wished for as this is so sodding tedious.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> Actually Florence Nightingale was opposed to germ theory, didn't insist on nurses and other staff washing their hands between treating patients, and had a high death rate as a result.
> 
> I don't know why people still idolise her.


I didn't know that, all I know is we still turn pillowcases with the opening away from the door cause it was windy in Crimea. Humans are weird.


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

I'm actually finding the BBC coverage slightly hilarious and quite entertaining, especially last night when it was all so sombre and the news-readers and reporters were coming out with some right old bollocks.


----------



## prunus (Sep 9, 2022)

bimble said:


> View attachment 341887
> 
> What does this actually mean? what does it signify 'the length of national mourning' what are we supposed to do not do / expect for these decreed number of days? or is it just a word for 'the bit until she is buried'.



You must wail and rend your garments.


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

bimble said:


> View attachment 341887
> 
> What does this actually mean? what does it signify 'the length of national mourning' what are we supposed to do not do / expect for these decreed number of days? or is it just a word for 'the bit until she is buried'.


Don't know but doesn't seem to mean we get a paid day off work so 'nowt' in practical terms?🤷‍♀️


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

bimble said:


> View attachment 341887
> 
> What does this actually mean? what does it signify 'the length of national mourning' what are we supposed to do not do / expect for these decreed number of days? or is it just a word for 'the bit until she is buried'.


I reckon a load of people have already had a gut full of this shite; 11 more days looks like a wildly optimistic punt by the establishment.


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

prunus said:


> You must wail and rend your garments.


...on your own time...

(Was the bible not big into putting ashes on your head too or did I make that bit up..?)


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 9, 2022)

A Bank Holiday is going to be a bit of waste since all the fun places will be shut for 'National Mourning' (whatever that is). Can we not just bank it and 2 days off for Chucky's coronation next year?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> I'm actually finding the BBC coverage slightly hilarious and quite entertaining, especially last night when it was all so sombre and the news-readers and reporters were coming out with some right old bollocks.


Even the (normally) more bearable C4News was an absolute lol-fest last night.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

I get double time if I work a bank holiday- likely a rarity these days. Rageen.


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

I keep getting emails from Newham volunteer service (I am a Newham volunteer, this isn't mails mysteriously arriving out of the blue or anything) urgently needing volunteers to tend the 2 flower-laying sites in the borough, and to give people directions to public transport to head towards the Proclamation ceremony - these volunteers are called "Proclamation Hosts" and have to wear black or sombre smart clothing - normally they want people to help out at the local tea dances or senior lunch day, or stewarding for sporting events or festivals - so this is a bit odd.

I should add I am not putting my name down to do it.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

Our new lizard ruler "addresses the nation" at 6pm apparently. Tv still switched off!


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> A Bank Holiday is going to be a bit of waste since all the fun places will be shut for 'National Mourning' (whatever that is). Can we not just bank it and 2 days off for Chucky's coronation next year?



I can't see OH getting a night off, they'll probably be making doughnuts with black icing or something...


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Our new lizard ruler "addresses the nation" at 6pm apparently. Tv still switched off!


I'm not watching unless his fingers are cut off and fried.


----------



## campanula (Sep 9, 2022)

My 11 year old grand-daughter whipped up a swift poster 'Fuck the Queen, I hope she burns in hell' 

No holding back there, Phoebs (proud nan).

Also quite amazed at the number of people waffling on about family, duty and such shit. Fucking forelock tugging deference is why we are such shite, apathetic  protestors. Pursed lips and tutting because we have had centuries of this elitist shit pushed on us.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

Obvious really but does anyone own the copyright to GSTQ?

If not, what’s stopping me claiming it ?

I know nothing of this stuff obviously


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

campanula said:


> My 11 year old grand-daughter whipped up a swift poster 'Fuck the Queen, I hope she burns in hell'
> 
> No holding back there, Phoebs (proud nan).
> 
> Also quite amazed at the number of people waffling on about family, duty and such shit. Fucking forelock tugging deference is why we are such shite, apathetic  protestors. Pursed lips and tutting because we have had centuries of this elitist shit pushed on us.


Chip off the old block


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 9, 2022)

We’re really in full blown North Korea mode.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

I do love cynical we are in this country. It warms the heart. A lot of people abroad might think we are all wailing and in a state of breakdown. Would love for them to see this thread


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

I thought we were heading in the right direction until fucking Diana died. We have never recovered from that


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

Aren’t you lot listening to our new King, Charles the Third, deliver his first address to the Nation?


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Aren’t you lot listening to our new King, Charles the Third, deliver his first address to the Nation?


No.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

I’m in the train looking at an internet discussion on the variety of Mexican Dorito flavours. So no


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

I mean why do they think its a) respectful or b) an effective advert for their establishment to impose a permanent fucking dull Sunday afternoon on us just because the old woman died? 

What happened to celebrating someone's life FFS? Doing nothing, having nothing to do/watch/enjoy...fuck dat.

I know, I know...have been on the Bishop's


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

I found it quite moving. Quite like Charles. He was a cunt to Diana, but marriage is often like pancakes, best to chuck the first one out


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> I found it quite moving. Quite like Charles. He was a cunt to Diana, but marriage is often like pancakes, best to chuck the first one out


What?


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> What?


Do you still hold Diana’s murder against him? Come on brogdale move on.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Do you still hold Diana’s murder against him? Come on brogdale move on.


Brilliant; someone's more pissed than me.


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Brilliant; someone's more pissed than me.


If only, I’m on call hammering the wards 😢 Watched it in the staff room as is my duty mind.


----------



## chilango (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I'm not watching unless his fingers are cut off and fried.


His fingers were very conspicuously out of shot.

Hands under the desk at all times.

And when he forgot and started moving them up they zoomed in on his face.


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

chilango said:


> His fingers were very conspicuously out of shot.
> 
> Hands under the desk at all times.
> 
> And when he forgot and started moving them up they zoomed in on his face.


What’s up with his fingers?


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

cesare said:


> The QCs will just become KCs?



They’re pretty happy about it too


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 9, 2022)

Sasaferrato said:


> She became Queen the year I was born.



You do know this is Elizabeth the _second _we're talking about?


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Would love to see what our covid-idiot friends are making of all this


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I mean why do they think its a) respectful or b) an effective advert for their establishment to impose a permanent fucking dull Sunday afternoon on us just because the old woman died?
> 
> What happened to celebrating someone's life FFS? Doing nothing, having nothing to do/watch/enjoy...fuck dat.
> 
> I know, I know...have been on the Bishop's


It really is grim.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Mindless


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Obvious really but does anyone own the copyright to GSTQ?
> 
> If not, what’s stopping me claiming it ?
> 
> I know nothing of this stuff obviously


A quick google says gstq is public domain so free to use. Apparently copyright on irelands antham ran out in 2012.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> What’s up with his fingers?


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

My dad who is pretty much house band loves his Saturdays listening/watching to the football. He builds his weekend around it. But no, a bit enforced morning instead


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Aren’t you lot listening to our new King, Charles the Third, deliver his first address to the Nation?


Nope


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Can't even send off a useless petition because the software is in morning apparently


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> My dad who is pretty much house band loves his Saturdays listening/watching to the football. He builds his weekend around it. But no, a bit enforced morning instead


Yep. I was thinking that this test might be the last that my 91YO old Dad would see...but no...cos the old German woman is dead.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> I found it quite moving. Quite like Charles. He was a cunt to Diana, but marriage is often like pancakes, best to chuck the first one out


Lololol


----------



## rutabowa (Sep 9, 2022)

can't believe you've all been had by this twitter hoax


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

rutabowa said:


> can't believe you've all been had by this twitter hoax


Total false flag.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

First tribute song is in


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

#ISitWithVivian


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 9, 2022)

teqniq said:


> What the fuck?



Copied for those who can't access twitter post:


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> Actually Florence Nightingale was opposed to germ theory, didn't insist on nurses and other staff washing their hands between treating patients, and had a high death rate as a result.
> 
> I don't know why people still idolise her.


Oh, you can so easily knock my idle shite off course with knowledge and learning.    

Actually, I put her in as the most medical bank note person I could think of. Did Mary Seacole ever make it, can't remember.   If not, Alan Turing or one of those steam engine lads  will have to stand in for a bit of wider scientific outrage.  Anyway, Charles 3 is a daft bastard.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> Actually Florence Nightingale was opposed to germ theory, didn't insist on nurses and other staff washing their hands between treating patients, and had a high death rate as a result.
> 
> I don't know why people still idolise her.


She had a good publicist


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 9, 2022)

So judging by the S*n comments - they all want mandatory countrywide  mourning and closedown. So like not working because you are protesting about actually getting a living wage and not getting mashed by heavy machinery is a hanging offence. Whereas a wealthy old wifey dying means it is your duty not to go to work.

We are fucked. Fucked


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341897


Jfc looks like he’s got congestive cardiac failure with good going peripheral oedema


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341897


That's making me Hungry


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Jfc looks like he’s got congestive cardiac failure with good going peripheral oedema


That's good, surely


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

Looks like most of the remaining bits of the Thames Festival have been cancelled


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I'm not watching unless his fingers are cut off and fried.


I'm sure there must be some signet ring he has to wear. Could be a sword in the stone moment - if he can't get it on it passes the billy bald.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341897


He's got Jeremy beadle hands


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

campanula said:


> My 11 year old grand-daughter whipped up a swift poster 'Fuck the Queen, I hope she burns in hell'
> 
> No holding back there, Phoebs (proud nan).


Early nomination for the Pride of Britain awards?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Do you still hold Diana’s murder against him? Come on brogdale move on.


That reminds me, Mohammed (Al)-Fayad managed to outlive her.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Jfc looks like he’s got congestive cardiac failure with good going peripheral oedema


And what’s the prognosis on that sort of thing? Asking for a nation 🤔


----------



## campanula (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Chip off the old block


Here you go


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

5t3IIa said:


> And what’s the prognosis on that sort of thing? Asking for a nation 🤔


Good unless you're a royalist


----------



## bimble (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I reckon a load of people have already had a gut full of this shite; 11 more days looks like a wildly optimistic punt by the establishment.


at least people (generally speaking) liked her, imagine when they try to do this for King Charles 3rd in a few weeks time.


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Do you still hold Diana’s murder against him? Come on brogdale move on.


Murder, lol .


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 9, 2022)

My council has set up a condolences page and it’s nauseating reading. People calling themselves obedient servants and all sort of other mawkish forelock-tugging. Wtf is wrong with people? Makes me feel so detached from the rest of humanity when they behave like this


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 9, 2022)

I was dreading work today cos I thought the customers would be gushing over this, and I’d have to bite my lip, which I’m not very good at. But no one mentioned it at all.


----------



## klang (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> peripheral oedema


Bless you. Allergy or just the sniffles?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

klang said:


> Bless you. Allergy or just the sniffles?


dirigible digits to laypersons


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Just seen sausage fingers on the telly; has a face like someone who only gets the gig through the death of their mother.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 9, 2022)

So has anyone come across one of the wailers  and teeth-gnashers in real life? Closest I've seen is a very slight acquaintance on Instagram overdoing the reposts. Otherwise a lot of 'RIP's but nothing in the way of actual mourning.


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

campanula said:


> Here you go


I reckon if you believe in Hell it’s plausible the Queen was the head of the church.


----------



## rekil (Sep 9, 2022)

Thread needs a sas meltdown.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

OMFG... absolute category error; don't, what ever you do, put the fucking news on.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

rekil said:


> Thread needs a sas meltdown.


Conflict drives the narrative


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> OMFG... absolute category error; don't what ever you do put the fucking news on.


What happened? I'm listening to Boney M


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Jfc looks like he’s got congestive cardiac failure with good going peripheral oedema


Obviously bow to your way superior medical knowledge . To the layperson, it just looks .


----------



## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

Sue said:


> Obviously bow to your way superior medical knowledge . To the layperson, it just looks .


Ha I’m only joking. Fuck knows what’s wrong with him. Bursting out his lizard skin? Your guess is as good as mine.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> What happened? I'm listening to Boney M


Fingers was droning on and on; good move to stick with German disco rather than German monarchs


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> you lay flowers, i think you'll find. you don't lie flowers.


Er, yeah - I think you'll find I know that. It was a joke about Farage's habitual MO, made possible by his ambiguous choice of wording, where you could substitute 'lie' and still have a both grammatical and accurate sentence.


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 9, 2022)

Urban75 is now the only online area of sanity left for me. I don't understand the world.

Hang on, has this place 'groomed' me over the years?


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> Ha I’m only joking. Fuck knows what’s wrong with him. Bursting out his lizard skin? Your guess is as good as mine.


Doesn't look good whatever it is. Well to us humans anyway...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Er, yeah - I think you'll find I know that. It was a joke about Farage's habitual MO.


Not a very good joke, well below your usual high standard


----------



## nottsgirl (Sep 9, 2022)

Radio 4 is going back to normal.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Sue said:


> Doesn't look good whatever it is. Well to us humans anyway...


It doesn't look good only if it's not bad for him


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 9, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Not a very good joke, well below your usual high standard



Give me a break, the fucking queen just died


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> OMFG... absolute category error; don't, what ever you do, put the fucking news on.


I put the north east news on. Big fuck off mistake. ' She lived right to the end'   .
I think she meant reigned, but Mrs blogs outside Poundland/some shop, was distraught.  Totp 1993 it is. And that's shite as well.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

If his oedema is so bad hopefully he'll be fully distracted by the piss tablets shortly.


----------



## Mation (Sep 9, 2022)

My workplace has issued a general referral to support services for staff who are overcome with grief for the late monarch 😐


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

chilango said:


> His fingers were very conspicuously out of shot.
> 
> Hands under the desk at all times.
> 
> And when he forgot and started moving them up they zoomed in on his face.


You're not wrong; the porky regal digits were well hidden away


----------



## kenny g (Sep 9, 2022)

Mation said:


> My workplace has issued a general referral to support services for staff who are overcome with grief for the late monarch 😐


Specialist grief counsellors being drafted in at some London Boroughs. People here are lucky that they have the support of other Urbs and in any case many here appear to have been preparing themselves for the event for years.


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

kenny g said:


> Specialist grief counsellors being drafted in at some London Boroughs. People are lucky here that they have the support of other Urbs and in any case many appear to have been preparing themselves for the event for many years.



If I worked in one of those workplaces, I'd be tempted to go and see one and get a free session centred around the fact that I am having trouble dealing with my cat's death earlier this year.


----------



## kenny g (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> If I worked in one of those workplaces, I'd be tempted to go and see one and get a free session centred around the fact that I am having trouble dealing with my cat's death earlier this year.


I'd go for Eco-grief counselling to deal with the loss of the forests.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> So has anyone come across one of the wailers  and teeth-gnashers in real life? Closest I've seen is a very slight acquaintance on Instagram overdoing the reposts. Otherwise a lot of 'RIP's but nothing in the way of actual mourning.


Even all the telegraph and sun readers at work were quietly sipping from a mug of couldn't give a fuck.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> You're not wrong; the porky regal digits were well hidden away
> 
> View attachment 341915


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

eatmorecheese said:


> Urban75 is now the only online area of sanity left for me. I don't understand the world.
> 
> Hang on, has this place 'groomed' me over the years?


Definitely feels like a port in the storm whilst the world has descended into hell, and it had descended to that realms long before old queeny snuffed it


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> Definitely feels like a port in the storm whilst the world has descended into hell, and it had descended to that realms long before old queeny snuffed it


And that's me Ina good mood


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Mation said:


> My workplace has issued a general referral to support services for staff who are overcome with grief for the late monarch 😐


Same. Which made the office piss themselves when the email came around.


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

At my volunteer shift today, one of the members of staff asked with a smile whether anyone was heartbroken - responses ranged from "it is sad for her family" to "nah, fuck 'em", most of us have already shared our anti-monarchy feelings anyway during the jubilee nonsense.

Had a random convo with someone on the seat next to me on the bus (who didn't speak much English, I think German or Dutch perhaps from the words I got the gist of) who waved the Evening Standard at me and the convo went along the lines of (I think) "Everyone dies, she was very old, this is nonsense" type things.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> At my volunteer shift today, one of the members of staff asked with a smile whether anyone was heartbroken - responses ranged from "it is sad for her family" to "nah, fuck 'em", most of us have already shared our anti-monarchy feelings anyway during the jubilee nonsense.
> 
> Had a random convo with someone on the seat next to me on the bus (who didn't speak much English, I think German or Dutch perhaps from the words I got the gist of) who waved the Evening Standard at me and the convo went along the lines of (I think) "Everyone dies, she was very old, this is nonsense" type things.


Yeah, if feels very much like the public are feeling one way and the TV, electronic billboards etc are broadcasting from an alternative reality. Like 1984, but pathetic instead of terrifying.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 9, 2022)

Almost as though the establishment right now is fortifying itself in order to perpetuate its power


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

The remaining 2 dates of the Newham Unlocked festival have been cancelled an all.

Bugger.

Really wanted to go to either Turning Tides or Newham Unlocked this weekend.


----------



## RD2003 (Sep 9, 2022)

I've been off work today. Kept the telly and radio off and was blissfully unaware of it all. I even managed to forget it had happened at times.

Other times I kept looking out of the window for signs of grief/ hysteria (woman next door organised a small jubilee party in June). Street was boringly deserted. I did hear somebody screaming last night, but I think it was the alcoholic up the street.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 9, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> if millwall vs qpr is cancelled on tuesday i am going to do a poo outside the gates and start throwing it people. seriously. it's the only brigth spark i have in the next ten days of gruel.


I might go to the match if it's on. Not up for poo throwing though.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

RD2003 said:


> I've been off work today. Kept the telly and radio off and was blissfully unaware of it all. I even managed to forget it had happened at times.
> 
> Other times I kept looking out of the window for signs of grief/ hysteria (woman next door organised a small jubilee party in June). Street was boringly deserted. I did hear somebody screaming last night, but I think it was the alcoholic up the street.


On the tramps' buffet/yellow label run to Sutton this afternoon it felt pretty 'normal' with no more closed retail than usual. Thinking about it there were fewer oldsters abroad, so i suppose that demographic might have been more glued to the rolling TV grief?


----------



## Skim (Sep 9, 2022)

A head of broccoli left as a mark of respect to Her Majesty.

Brings a tear to my eye.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

OK. so this lying in state business. Two weeks in the box for the credulous lickspittles to file past. I mean is the fucking thing gonna be open, proper Lenin style? Won't the decaying (lizard) corpse get a bit whiffy?


----------



## RD2003 (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> On the tramps' buffet/yellow label run to Sutton this afternoon it felt pretty 'normal' with no more closed retail than usual. Thinking about it there were fewer oldsters abroad, so i suppose that demographic might have been more glued to the rolling TV grief?


Yeah, last night I was looking out for spontaneous flag waving and all that, but everybody, young and old, was obviously just watching it on telly.

Made me wonder if the revolution will be televised after all.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 9, 2022)

Skim said:


> A head of broccoli left as a mark of respect to Her Majesty.
> 
> Brings a tear to my eye.
> 
> View attachment 341924


Tbf, it must be a ballache when you haven't eaten for 24 hours and people keep giving you flowers and stuffed toys.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 9, 2022)

Guardian:
Different audiences around the world also have different expectations. BBC News Africa had to urge its audience to be more “respectful” after posting a tweet celebrating the Queen’s “longstanding connection” to the continent. The account was flooded with posts highlighting the negative impact of British colonialism, leading to BBC Africa manually hiding some replies.


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

RD2003 said:


> Yeah, last night I was looking out for spontaneous flag waving and all that, but everybody, young and old, was obviously just watching it on telly.
> 
> Made me wonder if the revolution will be televised after all.



Press the red button to storm parliament...


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## two sheds (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## kenny g (Sep 9, 2022)

TopCat said:


> Guardian:
> Different audiences around the world also have different expectations. BBC News Africa had to urge its audience to be more “respectful” after posting a tweet celebrating the Queen’s “longstanding connection” to the continent. The account was flooded with posts highlighting the negative impact of British colonialism, leading to BBC Africa manually hiding some replies.


Thanks for that. It's actually quite a good thread in parts. 

Edit: removed link to not very nice RSA outfit.


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

I don't fully understand Twitter, but it is telling me that #AbolishTheMonarchy is currently trending


----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 9, 2022)

Mrs Forward has been out of town for a couple of days and I've not had telly on or listened to the wireless since queen died  But Mrs Forward has just this minute come back and turned on BBC Royal TV News  We'll most likely be spending the next 10 days with minimal communication, her plugged into the BBC news channel, me plugged into Spotify and Audible. Christ almighty, that twat Blair is currently reminiscing about good times with Brenda  Someone fucking shoot me. The things we do for love, eh.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## RD2003 (Sep 9, 2022)

Serge Forward said:


> Mrs Forward has been out of town for a couple of days and I've not had telly on or listened to the wireless since queen died  But Mrs Forward has just this minute come back and turned on BBC Royal TV News  We'll most likely be spending the next 10 days with minimal communication, her plugged into the BBC news channel, me plugged into Spotify and Audible. Christ almighty, that twat Blair is currently reminiscing about good times with Brenda  Someone fucking shoot me. The things we do for love, eh.


Same in our house. Mrs RD isn't a royalist but has 'mainstream' views about them ('Good ambassador for the country,' 'We wouldn't want their restricted lives' etc etc,) combined with a soft-hearted sympathy for the Queen's relatives. It's somewhat at odds with most other things she believes. I've managed to push her increasingly leftwards over the last 27 years, but we still manage to disagree on everything.


----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 9, 2022)

Yeah, Mrs F isn't royalist either but is being a bit soft on bereaved parasites.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> I don't fully understand Twitter, but it is telling me that #AbolishTheMonarchy is currently trending


Means that hash tag is being posted a lot. Either by people opposed to the monarchy or by usefull idiots from the other side posting "these #abolishthemonarchy posters are disgusting"


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

Have Huw Edwards and Nicholas Witchell been allowed to get any sleep?  They both look absolutely shattered, I'm wondering which of them is going to keel over first.  Has the Beeb actually had anything besides rolling coverage of this on TV since yesterday lunchtime?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 341897



Jesus that ring aint comin off without the Jaws of Life.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Jesus that ring aint comin off without the Jaws of Life.


A chisel would do it


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)

Every single time something happens it'd be better if there was a royal yacht. Even Cato wasn't this fucking dull about Carthage.









						A Queen Elizabeth royal yacht would be the perfect tribute
					

This week's Peterborough diary column is dedicated to the late Queen




					www.telegraph.co.uk


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 9, 2022)

Edie said:


> What’s up with his fingers?



he met liz truss today she delivered the Novichok...


i give him 48 hours like his poor  momma

lis before she met charles


----------



## Superdupastupor (Sep 9, 2022)

Fuck you you fucking fake puppet head, you couldn't wave you couldn't nod, but that's discount puppets for you. You had some fuckin sick outfits,fair do's.

Can we get Balmoral back, do a cursory search and secure for 3rd Reich shite, cursory as it will be minutes.??

The rest of the Windsor ramble, 4 weeks notice. This land was never yours or any of you're equally inbred cretinous predecessors. Royalty is just another word for Mafia.

I defaced you profile and portrait, when I felt like it. Not that it's feely available. But the less you have the more you have to deal with the visage: this is what you need, but will never get. Never a rest from it.

You were a tool born into it, you really believed your tieless service would wash out the blood of the Jack.  How many teenagers wearing the green died before their years, they thought of the people they loved not you, never you.

This land is our land, this land isn't your land.

Tory fuckbags sniggering at your bizarre rituals. Whilst carrying out instinctively the same.

I hope the towering pallet pire starts to burn into an inferno destroying all who held it up.

70 years! I am allowed my 2 minute hate.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 9, 2022)

so you not a royalist


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 10, 2022)

One of the most seriously fucked up things has been the various clips of family and close friends, dressed in black, speaking in the past tense, and clearly filmed beforehand. I would refuse to do that about someone I loved while they were still alive.


----------



## albionism (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 10, 2022)

albionism said:


> View attachment 341966


Alf-eidersein, ma'am


----------



## Smangus (Sep 10, 2022)

It's at times like this that I feel Urban needs a barfing vom emoji.


----------



## Superdupastupor (Sep 10, 2022)

The39thStep said:


> Very surprised about the extent of coverage here . RTP website ( the state broadcaster) must have about 15 short articles including one on the first RTP 'live' broadcast which was filming the Queens visit to Portugal.
> 
> View attachment 341742


How long have you been here? How is this in any way surprising?They're treated like royalty in Portugal kkkk

Living in a republic, feels good man. I get an uncanny feeling passing into León.....less so Galiza.




Ax^ said:


> so you not a royalist



Many a tear was spent all across Belfast, I'm quite sure 😂


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

Smangus said:


> It's at times like this that I feel Urban needs a barfing vom emoji.


🤢 🤮

It does!  Just type a colon and then start typing "vomit"


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 10, 2022)

we are not allowed to nice things 

look up the facepalm emote


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 10, 2022)

BobDavis said:


> This thread is good for another 15 years yet.


Hopefully the mourning will have finished by 2037?


----------



## Smangus (Sep 10, 2022)

moochedit said:


> 🤢 🤮
> 
> It does!  Just type a colon and then start typing "vomit"




🤮 cool it works!

Queen death faux grief mawkishness 🤮 🤮 🤮 
mmmmm, How cathartic! Thanks😊


----------



## marty21 (Sep 10, 2022)

Apparently she still had 3 corgis ! The nonce Prince gave them to her after she said she wouldn't have any more 🙄

I suspect they will meet their end in the Viking funeral being planned , a fitting end to the Royal Yacht Britannia.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 10, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Hopefully the mourning will have finished by 2037?


Just in time for another monarch's funeral


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 10, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Hopefully the mourning will have finished by 2037?


I don't think so. By 2037 we'll be gearing up for the 20th anniversary in five years time. I'd guess the 25th anniversary might be bigger still. A whole cascade of death anniversary jubilees are ours to enjoy.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 10, 2022)

Must admit , I was convinced she'd see out another Tory PM .


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

Bank Holiday confirmed!


----------



## marty21 (Sep 10, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Hopefully the mourning will have finished by 2037?


If it isn't, I'll be finished by then ffs


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 10, 2022)

That whole proclamation malarkey was interminable.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

quiet guy said:


> That whole proclamation malarkey was interminable.


Just you wait. Ten days of this bullshit to come.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 10, 2022)

Referencing that they had to announce that the Queen has died every bloody time is fucking wierd. What the fuck else have they been announcing since she passed?
The talking heads that MSM are using are grasping at straws now, God help them after 2 weeks.


----------



## tommers (Sep 10, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Bank Holiday confirmed!


Huh?


----------



## StoneRoad (Sep 10, 2022)

It is almost as though nothing else has happened in the rest of the country, nay, the world.


----------



## Chilli.s (Sep 10, 2022)

Apparently that lady on the stamps has died too


----------



## marty21 (Sep 10, 2022)

Replacing all the post boxes is a hell of a job


----------



## tommers (Sep 10, 2022)

tommers said:


> Huh?











						King Charles approves bank holiday for day of Queen’s funeral
					

Date of funeral has not yet been announced but new monarch confirms day will be bank holiday




					www.theguardian.com
				




Ah I see. Hahaha. Work has spent ages organising a conference for that day. In my old job I would have been involved, but not any more. This will be quite funny.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Bank Holiday confirmed!


Linky? Edit - just seen post above


----------



## teqniq (Sep 10, 2022)

Captions, anyone?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 10, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> One of the most seriously fucked up things has been the various clips of family and close friends, dressed in black, speaking in the past tense, and clearly filmed beforehand. I would refuse to do that about someone I loved while they were still alive.


'Nah, mam, I can't come round now, I'm filming a thing about you being dead'.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 10, 2022)

Cameron : so I grabbed her back legs and gave her a right old seeing to. She squeeled a lot.
May : Umm 

Brown to Boris : So who are you shagging now?


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 10, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Bank Holiday confirmed!



Great, that's a day's pay down the bog then. Lucky everyone's been so flush lately eh?


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021



Johnson looks like he woke up from his cognac coma roughly four seconds before this picture was taken and is frantically trying to work out why he's upright, wearing a suit and surrounded by people who hate his fucking guts.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

Was Tony there?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> Was Tony there?


Between brown and starmer


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 10, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> Was Tony there?



Yes he's the one who looks like fucking Voldermort.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021


Wonder whether Starmer's scowl is for Johnson or Brown.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 10, 2022)

No John Major though, or is he already dead and I just forgot?


----------



## Edie (Sep 10, 2022)

> the so-called Camillagate tapes, secretly recorded intimate conversations between them in which *Charles famously wished he could be her tampon.*


This is a detail which has previously escaped me


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Yes he's the one who looks like fucking Voldermort.


Oh fucking hell! Genuinely scared me. 

Imagine being Charles - first your mother dies, then you see the Grim Reaper standing behind Kier Starmer.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> No John Major though, or is he already dead and I just forgot?


Wiki says "is".


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Yes he's the one who looks like fucking Voldermort.



He's got that face on that you do when you've just popped something into your mouth at a moment when you shouldn't be eating, and now someone's asked you a question and you have to try and answer them while not spraying them with bits of mini pork pie or whatever.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 10, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Wonder whether Starmer's scowl is for Johnson or Brown.


I wondered that too, perhaps for both of them?


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 10, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Wiki says "is".



If he turned down his invitation I'd have a newfound respect for him, but I suspect he's just out of shot next to May.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 10, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Wonder whether Starmer's scowl is for Johnson or Brown.



He's eyeing up the security guard who's coming over to ask how he got in with the Prime Ministers.


----------



## gosub (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021


Amazing photo for the pairings alone.  Starmer with one eye on Blair, Brown ignoring Blair and chatting to Boris while Cameron enthused to a bored looking May


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021


Where isn't wanker


----------



## gosub (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> No John Major though, or is he already dead and I just forgot?


No heard a radio interview with him on Thursday, was highly respectful. and inciteful.   I don't know but always under the impression he and the Queen had a lot of time for each other


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 10, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Where isn't wanker


Would love to know what brown is saying to Johnson. Cant imagine he has anything but utter contempt for him.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 10, 2022)

It’s a great day for hat doffing.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 10, 2022)

Kaka Tim said:


> Would love to know what brown is saying to Johnson. Cant imagine he has anything but utter contempt for him.


"do you swear to serve the master of the precious"


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Great, that's a day's pay down the bog then. Lucky everyone's been so flush lately eh?


Surely to fuck we get paid for it


----------



## Kaka Tim (Sep 10, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> "do you swear to serve the master of the precious"


I think it has to be some version of "you're a  complete and utter cunt" -


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 10, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Surely to fuck we get paid for it



Some will. I'm on a daily rate. No work, no pay.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Some will. I'm on a daily rate. No work, no pay.


FFS
That's shitty


----------



## Wilf (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> No John Major though, or is he already dead and I just forgot?


Hard to tell with him.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 10, 2022)

Chilli.s said:


> Apparently that lady on the stamps has died too


She got perforated.


----------



## Epona (Sep 10, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Surely to fuck we get paid for it



My OH isn't likely to get the night off, he doesn't get bank holidays off and doesn't get paid extra for shifts on bank holidays.
If it falls on a day he isn't working, he won't get paid for it (he only gets paid for the shifts he does, not a salary)
It's not compulsory or anything.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 10, 2022)

Bank holidays don't exist when you work in retail.


----------



## extra dry (Sep 10, 2022)

See if this thread can get too a nice-balanecened,and round number, in the remaining days of mourning. 

  Post images of other dead queens and kings.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 10, 2022)

Wilf said:


> She got perforated.


She came to a sticky back.


----------



## Indeliblelink (Sep 10, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Replacing all the post boxes is a hell of a job



Apparently it's going to be renamed Charles III Post Office or C3PO for short.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 10, 2022)

Raheem said:


> She came to a sticky back.


Don't know what she died of, but I do know she recently visited a GUM clinic.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 10, 2022)

Just noticed the FA have called off all football, not just the professional leagues.  I realise they'd get stick from the loons if football went ahead, but if they wanted to give in to that pressure they should have postponed the next but one round of games, not today when coaches have booked etc. Naturally, I don't think _anything _should be cancelled, but this is all part of the national hysteria.  There's no way any of these sporting bodies _want _to cancel anything, they are just shit scared.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

To answer the question: it’s the country’s fucking dignity that has died.


----------



## rekil (Sep 10, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Just noticed the FA have called off all football, not just the professional leagues.  I realise they'd get stick from the loons if football went ahead, but if they wanted to give in to that pressure they should have postponed the next but one round of games, not today when coaches have booked etc. Naturally, I don't think _anything _should be cancelled, but this is all part of the national hysteria.  There's no way any of these sporting bodies _want _to cancel anything, they are just shit scared.



Make the footballers wear respectful costumes. Paddingtons versus spitfires.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 10, 2022)

Indeliblelink said:


> Apparently it's going to be renamed Charles III Post Office or C3PO for short.


#respect


----------



## bmd (Sep 10, 2022)

This is probably more about me than anything else but how the fuck are The Guardian running gushing stories about madge? 

They were all up in her business until she died. The day before she died they were running stories about crimes against nature on royal estates and how they were happening with impunity.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 10, 2022)

bmd said:


> This is probably more about me than anything else but how the fuck are The Guardian running gushing stories about madge?
> 
> They were all up in her business until she died. The day before she died they were running stories about crimes against nature on royal estates and how they were happening with impunity.


Yeah, I'm not even sure how the gushing tone fits with the bulk of their readership. Not that the readership is particularly left or working class, it's middle class soggy centre.  I suspect that most of the readership are in the territory of 'reluctant royalists', but with a strong element of superiority about the whole thing.  You'd have thought they'd have gone with 'light coverage' rather than this full on griefwank.  Or is it all about their advertisers? Dunno.


----------



## bmd (Sep 10, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Yeah, I'm not even sure how the gushing tone fits with the bulk of their readership. Not that the readership is particularly left or working class, it's middle class soggy centre.  I suspect that most of the readership are in the territory of 'reluctant royalists', but with a strong element of superiority about the whole thing.  You'd have thought they'd have gone with 'light coverage' rather than this full on griefwank.  Or is it all about their advertisers? Dunno.


Ahhhhhh yeah, the advertisers. Good call.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 10, 2022)

Article by the AnarCom Network on the queens' death









						The Queen is dead!  Long Live the Class Struggle!
					

That the Queen is dead is hard to miss, you’d probably have to be dead yourself not to notice.  More noticeable still is the 24/7 obsequious TV coverage reminiscent of what a ‘very British cou…




					anarcomuk.uk


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

Change of plan, I've just found a fiver whilst walking through town - thank you, Ma'am.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

bmd said:


> This is probably more about me than anything else but how the fuck are The Guardian running gushing stories about madge?
> 
> They were all up in her business until she died. The day before she died they were running stories about crimes against nature on royal estates and how they were happening with impunity.


It’s because they’re an organ of the establishment. Their role in civil society is permitted moderate dissent.  But the organisation is run by public school educated patricians and they know when to run back to nanny.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

extra dry said:


> See if this thread can get too a nice-balanecened,and round number, in the remaining days of mourning.
> 
> Post images of other dead queens and kings.


----------



## bmd (Sep 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s because they’re an organ of the establishment. Their role in civil society is permitted moderate dissent.  But the organisation is run by public school educated patricians and they know when to run back to nanny.


Fuuuuuck.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## N_igma (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021


Cameron: So I grabbed the pig by the ears just like this, ‘you’re getting porked my friend’ I said as I stuck it into his mouth’
Johnson: Fuck sake not this story again 
May: The Queen has died David have a bit of respect 
Gordon: What the fuck David! 
Starmer: Jammy git.


----------



## Sue (Sep 10, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Yeah, I'm not even sure how the gushing tone fits with the bulk of their readership. Not that the readership is particularly left or working class, it's middle class soggy centre.  I suspect that most of the readership are in the territory of 'reluctant royalists', but with a strong element of superiority about the whole thing.  You'd have thought they'd have gone with 'light coverage' rather than this full on griefwank.  Or is it all about their advertisers? Dunno.


'Griefwank'


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 10, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> So has anyone come across one of the wailers  and teeth-gnashers in real life? Closest I've seen is a very slight acquaintance on Instagram overdoing the reposts. Otherwise a lot of 'RIP's but nothing in the way of actual mourning.



My boss wore a black shirt on Friday which I’ve never seen him do before - not sure if he was in mourning or toying with the idea of fascism?


----------



## Sue (Sep 10, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> My boss wore a black shirt on Friday which I’ve never seen him do before - not sure if he was in mourning or toying with the idea of fascism?


Both? 🤷‍♀️ 

(Or going full-on middle-aged Goth?)


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 10, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> Change of plan, I've just found a fiver whilst walking through town - thank you, Ma'am.



yes, but it will be one of the old ones with the queen on it

they aren't worth anything any more, that's why someone will have thrown it away


----------



## Mation (Sep 10, 2022)

Oh dear. There's a very jolly swing band playing in the park. I might go and see if anyone is tutting at them


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021




Brown looks he’s just smelt whatever Boris let rip while Cameron is explaining where he hid the body


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 10, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> No John Major though, or is he already dead and I just forgot?



Guardian has the same picture from a wider angle and he's just on the other side of May.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> yes, but it will be one of the old ones with the queen on it
> 
> they aren't worth anything any more, that's why someone will have thrown it away


From what I've heard, most fivers have had Charlie on them for years.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

Tony Hawks is one of us! One of us! One of us!

(Well not me, not since the ghost of the Queen decided to blow that fiver in my path. AND NO IT WASN'T THE WIND.)


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

That #PlattyJubes of a few months back seems a bit pointless now.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 10, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> That #PlattyJubes of a few months back seems a bit pointless now.



statey funze now.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 10, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> That #PlattyJubes of a few months back seems a bit pointless now.


Never, we were due that bank holiday. Bloody monarchy are making us pay for it now with all this cancellation of events and MSM fawning all over them.


----------



## circleline (Sep 10, 2022)

I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear that the jumble sale was still on today at the church hall (albeit with an A4 sized photo of her majesty atop the bookshelves).  Got a stack of books, a cheese ploughmans and a cheese scone, all for £5.50.

My sister has posted her disgust on social media that a 1940s event is still going ahead at the (formerly royal) dockyard.  Can't wait for her disgust and disdain at the jumble sale.


----------



## tonysingh (Sep 10, 2022)

circleline said:


> I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear that the jumble sale was still on today at the church hall (albeit with an A4 sized photo of her majesty atop the bookshelves).  Got a stack of books, a cheese ploughmans and a cheese scone, all for £5.50.
> 
> My sister has posted her disgust on social media that a 1940s event is still going ahead at the (formerly royal) dockyard.  Can't wait for her disgust and disdain at the jumble sale.



Chatham Historic Dockyard? I live next to that. The fucking air raid siren is getting on my nerves.


----------



## Weller (Sep 10, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Captions, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 342021


They just look like they are reminiscing to their carers though Ive no idea why Boris has Brown perhaps no Tory  wanted  the job


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 10, 2022)

Regarding the bank holiday, and WFH, I going to try and work that day and blag an extra day before Christmas.


----------



## Mation (Sep 10, 2022)

Mation said:


> Oh dear. There's a very jolly swing band playing in the park. I might go and see if anyone is tutting at them


No tutting - turned out to be a wedding party. They've gone now, back on their Routemaster bus, I think. Perhaps they don't want to be jolly in any one place for very long.

/essential update


----------



## spitfire (Sep 10, 2022)

spitfire said:


> statey funze now.



WAIT!

spag has spoken.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

Lovely tribute from Prince William


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 10, 2022)

The..Realms?
Narnia? Mordor? The computer system in Tron? Camelot? The Forgotten Realms? Wales?


----------



## elbows (Sep 10, 2022)

Yeah the word realms has been used quite a lot in recent days. They were using it a fair bit on the BBC to cover various nations who might not fit so neatly into the commonwealth category but still had something to do with the queen.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 10, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> The..Realms?
> Narnia? Mordor? The computer system in Tron? Camelot? The Forgotten Realms? Wales?



"A Commonwealth Realm is a country which has The Queen as its Monarch. There are 14 Commonwealth Realms in addition to the UK."


----------



## weepiper (Sep 10, 2022)

I went for a wander down the Royal Mile to have a look at the preparations. They are expecting a _lot_ of people. Barriers and camera scaffolding/gantries everywhere. Hunners of police and security and fire service guys wandering around with clipboards. Camera crews all over the shop already. A whole lot of unfortunate cars whose drivers had ignored the signs getting loaded onto recovery trucks and towed away from Chambers St.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 10, 2022)

.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 10, 2022)

Weller said:


> They just look like they are reminiscing to their carers though Ive no idea why Boris has Brown perhaps no Tory  wanted  the job
> 
> View attachment 342103


ITV news saying all the great and the good in that building. I prefer rammed full of cunts. Telly off again.


----------



## elbows (Sep 10, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> "A Commonwealth Realm is a country which has The Queen as its Monarch. There are 14 Commonwealth Realms in addition to the UK."


Ah from the vague way the BBC were using it I wasnt sure if any of the realms werent in the commonwealth, but it seems not. They are a subset of commonwealth countries.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

William and harry on a walkabout who would of thought


----------



## maomao (Sep 10, 2022)

weepiper said:


> I went for a wander down the Royal Mile to have a look at the preparations. They are expecting a _lot_ of people. Barriers and camera scaffolding/gantries everywhere. Hunners of police and security and fire service guys wandering around with clipboards. Camera crews all over the shop already. A whole lot of unfortunate cars whose drivers had ignored the signs getting loaded onto recovery trucks and towed away from Chambers St.
> 
> View attachment 342105
> View attachment 342106
> ...


I am waiting for a train into town from the burbs (going to a a gig, hopefully free of this nonsense) and can confirm there are loads of people dressed somberly and a few with flowers.


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 10, 2022)

Mation said:


> Oh dear. There's a very jolly swing band playing in the park. I might go and see if anyone is tutting at them


There’s a whole street party going on round the corner here!


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> There’s a whole street party going on round the corner here!


Are you sure it's not someone having a birthday party?


----------



## killer b (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> William and harry on a walkabout who would of thought


how do you even know this stuff?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

killer b said:


> how do you even know this stuff?


It on TV now


----------



## pogofish (Sep 10, 2022)

Oh dear.  More cones have appeared this afternoon - It looks like the cortege will be going right past the end of my road..!


----------



## killer b (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> It on TV now


why are you watching it though?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

killer b said:


> why are you watching it though?


Nothing else on atm


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Are you sure it's not someone having a birthday party?


They’ve got a “road closed” sign up, there’s a marquee up blocking the road, it looks like there are a lot of people there, and this road often throws street parties that look identical, so yep it’s a street party! Either that or a very civilised start to the revolution 

Tbf our street is meant to have a prearranged street party tomorrow and I’ve not heard of it being cancelled.

I’m not sure I live in a very pro monarchy area tbf…


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 10, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Oh dear.  More cones have appeared this afternoon - It looks like the cortege will be going right past the end of my road..!


Chuck a load of shed tacks down.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> They’ve got a “road closed” sign up, there’s a marquee up blocking the road, it looks like there are a lot of people there, and this road often throws street parties that look identical, so yep it’s a street party! Either that or a very civilised start to the revolution
> 
> Tbf our street is meant to have a prearranged street party tomorrow and I’ve not heard of it being cancelled.
> 
> I’m not sure I live in a very pro monarchy area tbf…


Oh ok fare enough maybe they decided themselves to close the road and have a street party and not Invite everyone


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## rekil (Sep 10, 2022)

Waiting for billy bragg to tweet. _I'm the world's greatest republican but...   _


----------



## not a trot (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Nothing else on atm


Decent bit of test cricket on Sky right now.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Decent bit of test cricket on Sky right now.


I have freeview only so a lot of repeats on channels


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Nothing else on atm


Wait until I tell you about streaming. It’ll blow your _mind_!


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Oh ok fare enough maybe they decided themselves to close the road and have a street party and not Invite everyone


It’s not my street in case that wasn’t clear! Or were you more thinking that you didn’t get one?


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Chuck a load of shed tacks down.


Actually do this.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

The flat opposite work it's blasting some evil sounding D and B.

Its what she would have wanted.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Wait until I tell you about streaming. It’ll blow your _mind_!


Go on then I am waiting


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 10, 2022)

So the four days lying-in-state business isn't even going to _start _till the 15th, is that right? I hope the guards stationed around the coffin each have a can of Febreze handy...


----------



## nagapie (Sep 10, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> There’s a whole street party going on round the corner here!


That's my road and our annual street party. There was talk of cancelling it because some of the older residents might be offended but a few were asked and no one seemed to care.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

nagapie said:


> That's my road and our annual street party. There was talk of cancelling it because some of the older residents might be offended but a few were asked and no one seemed to care.


I'm sure her Majesty would not have minded


----------



## tonysingh (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> I'm sure her Majesty would not have minded



Not any more she won't.


----------



## nagapie (Sep 10, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> I'm sure her Majesty would not have minded


I couldn't give a fuck what she would have wanted or not. She wasn't my majesty.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 10, 2022)

nagapie said:


> I couldn't give a fuck what she would have wanted or not. She wasn't my majesty.


I take it your not a fan of the royal family then


----------



## bmd (Sep 11, 2022)

tonysingh said:


> Chatham Historic Dockyard? I live next to that. The fucking air raid siren is getting on my nerves.


You wouldn't like the fucking bells from the church, 50 yards from the back of mine then. Found myself hoping Chaz hangs on for a few after the bastards rung them for an hour yesterday.


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 11, 2022)

nagapie said:


> That's my road and our annual street party. There was talk of cancelling it because some of the older residents might be offended but a few were asked and no one seemed to care.


I guessed as much, and did think of you! Hope it went well


----------



## NoXion (Sep 11, 2022)

It's at times like these that I really appreciate not watching TV or listening to the radio. Bought an extra bottle of Prosecco as soon as I heard the news.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 11, 2022)

I don't know what you're all complaining about. For years, I've lived just off the practice route for these occasions. Every so often, in the dead of night/the darkest hour just before dawn, Grenadier? guards on horses clip clop past. If you've had a joint or two, it can be quite a disturbing experience. Shades of mortality.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

_and even though their kids were starving/they all thought the queen was charming..._


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

rekil said:


> Waiting for billy bragg to tweet. _I'm the world's greatest republican but...   _


Has anyone in the public eye voiced any dissent? Surely to fuck Kathy Burke's slagged her maj off


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Has anyone in the public eye voiced any dissent? Surely to fuck Kathy Burke's slagged her maj off



It's not allowed is it. At least not anywhere bar Twitter. Tony Hawks did a mild tweet (I saw it on here).


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

It is nuts here. Road is a car park, police everywhere people taken their spots already and the pub is rammed!


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 11, 2022)

rekil said:


> Waiting for billy bragg to tweet. _I'm the world's greatest republican but...   _



No need, he once wrote a long piece for the Daily Mail on the topic:






						How the Queen charmed the pants off me: Confessions of an old Leftie
					

Last week, I shook hands with the Queen. It was a Tuesday evening, at the Royal Festival Hall. I was there with my family for the Royal Gala to open the refurbished hall, and to see a performance of Beethoven's exhilarating Ninth Symphony, which was sung with my lyrics. Afterwards, we were...




					www.dailymail.co.uk
				




"The simple truth is that although I am a Left-winger, I have never described myself as a republican...."


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

In the Mail


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Has anyone in the public eye voiced any dissent? Surely to fuck Kathy Burke's slagged her maj off



Jedward

2022 is weird


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

pogofish said:


> It is nuts here. Road is a car park, police everywhere people taken their spots already and the pub is rammed!


Likewise. I'm standing waiting for the proclamation on the Royal Mile and it's heaving. It appeals to the medievalist in me. It's not every day you get to be the people of Scotland hearing the proclamation of a new king from the Mercat Cross, even if it is a load of bollocks.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

planetgeli said:


> It's not allowed is it. At least not anywhere bar Twitter. Tony Hawks did a mild tweet (I saw it on here).


I think I saw some ex-Coronation St actress being somewhat less than enthusiastic


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Likewise. I'm standing waiting for the proclamation on the Royal Mile and it's heaving. It appeals to the medievalist in me. It's not every day you get to be the people of Scotland hearing the proclamation of a new king from the Mercat Cross, even if it is a load of bollocks.



Yup, it's a moment in history, plus it's on my doorstep, so I will see it


----------



## marty21 (Sep 11, 2022)

I haven't been keeping up with the funeral arrangements, is it a viking themed funeral with her sailing off in a burning Royal Yacht Brittania?


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 11, 2022)

marty21 said:


> I haven't been keeping up with the funeral arrangements, is it a viking themed funeral with her sailing off in a burning Royal Yacht Brittania?



Anglo-Saxon. They're going to bury her in it.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

I wouldn't go to the end of my street, genuinely


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

I also see the conspiracy nutters are on about her death being start of the next phase of the "Great Reset" - according to them, all our currency is now invalid and we will be getting an all-new digital currency forced on us in days/weeks!  Naturally they are advising the enlightened ones to stick all their money in gold/precious metals etc, no doubt they are on a percentage


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

Someone is standing behind the British Legion guys holding up a sign that says 'REPUBLIC'.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> I wouldn't go to the end of my street, genuinely


I'm not getting to go anywhere else!


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 11, 2022)

pogofish said:


> I also see the conspiracy nutters are on about her death being start of the next phase of the "Great Reset" - according to them, all our currency is now invalid and we will be getting an all-new digital currency forced on us in days/weeks!  Naturally they are advising the enlightened ones to stick all their money in gold/precious metals etc, no doubt they are on a percentage



They're welcome to send me their invalid banknotes and I'll take responsibility for collecting and recycling them. Just a service I'm prepared to offer.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

How many handmaidens, servants, corgis and homeless get walled up with her?


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

Couple of armed police on the turret of St Giles with big guns pointing right at us, which is a bit disconcerting.


----------



## Duncan2 (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> How many handmaidens, servants, corgis and homeless get walled up with her?


In a week or two the King will arrange for the corgis to be dropped off at Watford Gap Services


----------



## Duncan2 (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Couple of armed police on the turret of St Giles with big guns pointing right at us, which is a bit disconcerting.


They're onto you weepiper


----------



## spitfire (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Couple of armed police on the turret of St Giles with big guns pointing right at us, which is a bit disconcerting.



As long as you’re not doing anything suspicious like typing directions to a sniper into your phone you’ll be fine.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 11, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Nothing else on atm


Netflix? Prime? Sky? Dvd's? Torrents?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 11, 2022)

killer b said:


> why are you watching it though?


Until now i've avoided all tv coverage but i'm at my mum's house today and it's on in the background   (fortunately my aunt just phoned my mum so the volumes down for now  )


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 11, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Nothing else on atm


All the episodes of jeeves and wooster are freely available on YouTube. As are all the episodes of the wildlife series realms of the Russian bear. Pretty much every episode of Dr who (certainly the first 6 doctors) can be watched through the internet archive. And that's before you get to the iplayer, Netflix, amazon prime etc. Other things you might enjoy include the ~1980 bbc r4 adaptation of the Lord of the rings - actors including John Le mesurier, Michael Hordern, Bill nighy - and the original hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, both available at the Internet archive. Never before have people had more resources to help them through a period of media mourning


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

Bit of hoohah and booing from the REPUBLIC guys at 'God save the king!' and the hiphips.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

Lots of people in the crowd near me not singing and muttering crossly about rebellious Scot crushing.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Likewise. I'm standing waiting for the proclamation on the Royal Mile and it's heaving. It appeals to the medievalist in me. It's not every day you get to be the people of Scotland hearing the proclamation of a new king from the Mercat Cross, even if it is a load of bollocks.



I’m going to mine because how else are you supposed to find out that the country isn’t in the midst of a succession crisis unless you hear the High Sheriff of the county say it isn’t so?



weepiper said:


> Bit of hoohah and booing from the REPUBLIC guys at 'God save the king!' and the hiphips.



I heard that on the tellybox. I trust the miscreants were roundly set-upon and surrendered to the King's Body Guard for Scotland?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Couple of armed police on the turret of St Giles with big guns pointing right at us, which is a bit disconcerting.


I would surrender if I was you


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Bit of hoohah and booing from the REPUBLIC guys at 'God save the king!' and the hiphips.


I thought I heard that. They don't do themselves any favours really. Time and place. If you're against it being the future, then fine, fair enough - go and shout at Charles, but not at what basically amounts to a funeral procession. Well, maybe they were shouting at that whole proclamation aspect rather than what today is, but it seemed pretty tasteless to me - we'll see whether they pack it in or hang around to picket a hearse. I was waiting for commentators to pick up on the booing but none did.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 11, 2022)

planetgeli said:


> It's not allowed is it. At least not anywhere bar Twitter. Tony Hawks did a mild tweet (I saw it on here).


It was me, I replied to it (in support) - they're still replying to it now...


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> I thought I heard that. They don't do themselves any favours really. Time and place. If you're against it being the future, then fine, fair enough - go and shout at Charles, but not at what basically amounts to a funeral procession. Well, maybe they were shouting at that aspect rather than what today is, but it seemed pretty tasteless to me. I was waiting for commentators to pick up on the booing but none did.


In a world where the British Kebab Awards feels it necessary from a business perspective to pay its respects to a deceased monarch via the age-old medium of Twitter I think a few people booing at a hearse is quite far down the list of tasteless things I've seen this week


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> In a world where the British Kebab Awards feels it necessary from a business perspective to pay its respects to a deceased monarch via the age-old medium of Twitter I think a few people booing at a hearse is quite far down the list of tasteless things I've seen this week


I'd say first among equals really. Both fucking tacky. But anyway.

Waste of space on the BBC informing viewers that she didn't actually have tea with Paddington Bear, but that it was a CGI bear was who was sucking a teapot and chatting away.


----------



## weltweit (Sep 11, 2022)

Hmm, I could really do with a marmalade sandwich right now, not for later, for now!!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 11, 2022)

weltweit said:


> Hmm, I could really do with a marmalade sandwich right now, not for later, for now!!



you should have put an emergency one in your hat / handbag


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

They weren't booing at the hearse, I'll be surprised if that happens, she's still miles away from Edinburgh - they were booing God Save The King and the proclamation in general.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

Here is the cortege passing:


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## rekil (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Has anyone in the public eye voiced any dissent? Surely to fuck Kathy Burke's slagged her maj off



Dunno. The twitter machine is strictly offline read only mode for me. Does Kevin Kilbane's mild defence of trevor sinclair count? He got a lot of fackin-ungrateful-paddy hellsite treatment even though he was born in Preston.



Spoiler


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> View attachment 342254




Looks like at least one of them got hauled-off by the police:


----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)

The flag-shaggers were out at the other bridge:


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Looks like at least one of them got hauled-off by the police:



Yeah I heard that and assumed it was because someone was being huckled off into City Chambers.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

Interestingly not a lot of union jackery at all in Edinburgh. The British Legion obviously had some big flags on poles because that's their thing but I hardly saw any held by the crowd in general.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 11, 2022)

I hear it takes 6 hours to drive there at the slow speed they’re taking.  does that mean they’ve stopped at a service station en route for a shit and a ginsters?


----------



## elbows (Sep 11, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I hear it takes 6 hours to drive there at the slow speed they’re taking.  does that mean they’ve stopped at a service station en route for a shit and a ginsters?


There was a scheduled rest stop earlier, at some stage of the A90. I tuned in briefly to update my knowledge of roundabouts on that road.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 11, 2022)

Wow cars a have stop on the bridge crossing the river tay and the motorway by looks of thinks too


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> They weren't booing at the hearse, I'll be surprised if that happens, she's still miles away from Edinburgh - they were booing God Save The King and the proclamation in general.


Yeah, fair enough. I misunderstood the post.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 11, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Wow cars a have stop on the bridge crossing the river tay and the motorway by looks of thinks too



No doubt they'll be prosecuted under Motorways Traffic (Scotland) Regulations 1995.


----------



## DJWrongspeed (Sep 11, 2022)

There appears to be one tv programme on called “The Queen has died” and lasts 2 weeks😕


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 11, 2022)

The clapping a hearse thing is a bit...... fucking bizarre


----------



## Numbers (Sep 11, 2022)

Edinburgh looks great.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> The clapping a hearse thing is a bit...... fucking bizarre


'Old-fashioned English clapping'


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)

They edited to mute the booing on the footage from earlier just now.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 11, 2022)

I couldn't agree more. Like her mother, she has been selfless in her tireless work. The sacrifices she has made for us all. I'm really not sure how either of them have managed to do it all, for all these years.


----------



## Guineveretoo (Sep 11, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Eldest Q rang her Mother last night to ask "How's Dad taking the news that the Queen's Dead?"
> Mrs Q: "Pretty much as you might expect actually"
> Very interesting conversation with Youngest Q this morning though on the subject of Chucky III now being King
> Youngest: "How come,  doesn't he have to be crowned first"
> ...


except that all this is educating them. Apparently, schools were talking about it on Friday as well. Some, at least, of these young people who knew very little about the Royal Family, will know a lot more after all the coverage. I know a lot more than I did, and I knew enough before.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 11, 2022)

OB arresting someone here on what seems to me to be the flimsiest of pretexts. Some of the replies are quite interesting:


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 11, 2022)

teqniq said:


> OB arresting someone here on what seems to me to be the flimsiest of pretexts. Some of the replies are quite interesting:




Hopefully he's a British citizen, as it's still illegal for aliens to incite sedition or disaffection.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 11, 2022)

did anyone go to their local proclamation ceremony at their town hall?

no, neither did i...


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 11, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> did anyone go to their local proclamation ceremony at their town hall?
> 
> no, neither did i...



Yes, and now unlike you I know who the monarch is.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 11, 2022)

teqniq said:


> OB arresting someone here on what seems to me to be the flimsiest of pretexts. Some of the replies are quite interesting:



Recent Public Order Bill basically facilitates plod arresting people for any public statement or behaviour they happen to not like.


----------



## oryx (Sep 11, 2022)

Guineveretoo said:


> except that all this is educating them. Apparently, schools were talking about it on Friday as well. Some, at least, of these young people who knew very little about the Royal Family, will know a lot more after all the coverage. I know a lot more than I did, and I knew enough before.


Yes, when I've failed to avoid Royal family stuff, the historical/constitutional elements are quite interesting.

There was a reasonable programme on LBC yesterday evening about what a Charles III monarchy might look like (slimmed down, apparently - will believe it when I see it). Although one of the 'monarchy experts' speaking did mention in serious tones that he couldn't see George V jumping out of a helicopter with Daniel Craig.   

OH was sent into semi-apoplexy last night on seeing some 'breaking news' on the BBC website. Which was that William, Harry, Kate and Megan were viewing floral tributes.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 11, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Recent Public Order Bill basically facilitates plod arresting people for any public statement or behaviour they happen to not like.




“Your making a nuisance your nicked” is so open to abuse it’s not even fucking mildly funny.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 11, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Yes, and now unlike you I know who the monarch is.



she changed her will and left it to paddington bear, didn't she?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 11, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Yes, and now unlike you I know who the monarch is.


Well don't keep us in suspense


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 11, 2022)

oryx said:


> Although one of the 'monarchy experts' speaking did mention in serious tones that he couldn't see George V jumping out of a helicopter with Daniel Craig.


it's a big ask for george v (died 1936) to jump out of a helicopter (first helicopter flight 1939) with daniel craig (born 1968) edited


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 11, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Yes, and now unlike you I know who the monarch is.


you say that like it's worth something


----------



## moochedit (Sep 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> it's a big ask for george v (died 1936) to jump out of a helicopter (first helicopter flight 1939) with david craig (born 1968)


David Craig?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 11, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Recent Public Order Bill basically facilitates plod arresting people for any public statement or behaviour they happen to not like.


bills don't do anything of the sort. you cannot be arrested under any bill in this country. acts on the other hand...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 11, 2022)

moochedit said:


> David Craig?


daniel craig. even homer nods


----------



## Raheem (Sep 11, 2022)

moochedit said:


> David Craig?


Met the Queen on Monday
Took her skydiving on Tuesday
Etc


----------



## kabbes (Sep 11, 2022)

Remember all the times over the last at-least-30-years that people said Brenda might be the last monarch and people wouldn’t stand for Chuck on the throne? 

Turns out that I was right to be sceptical that there would be any popular uprising or any constitutional way of challenging the succession. Instead, surprise surprise, the establishment moved incredibly swiftly to install the new king and carry on.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Lots of people in the crowd near me not singing and muttering crossly about rebellious Scot crushing.


When Mrs Q and I visited Edinburgh there was this guy dressed as William Wallace (the Australian one rather than the historically accurate one) on Castlehill, It would be cool if he was there now


----------



## Duncan2 (Sep 11, 2022)

kabbes said:


> Remember all the times over the last at-least-30-years that people said Brenda might be the last monarch and people wouldn’t stand for Chuck on the throne?
> 
> Turns out that I was right to be sceptical that there would be any popular uprising or any constitutional way of challenging the succession. Instead, surprise surprise, the establishment moved incredibly swiftly to install the new king and carry on.


Don't know what recent polls say regarding the level of support that still exists for the monarchy but I should imagine that it is still pretty solid.Chap near me on the bus who to my eye looked like a retired mender of roads managed to discuss the current difficulties of the Royals for fully forty five minutes with his OH on speakerphone.Might have thought it was his own family up against it.🙂


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 11, 2022)

Have we had this?


----------



## tonysingh (Sep 11, 2022)

Passed through Chathams glittering shopping centre earlier, the book of condolence has prime spot, by Wilko. Heard one flag shagger say to her mate "have you done the one in Rochester cathedral? I'm going to do them all".


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 11, 2022)

moochedit said:


> David Craig?





Pickman's model said:


> daniel craig. even homer nods


Funnily enough my classics teacher was called David Craig


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 11, 2022)

kabbes said:


> Remember all the times over the last at-least-30-years that people said Brenda might be the last monarch and people wouldn’t stand for Chuck on the throne?
> 
> Turns out that I was right to be sceptical that there would be any popular uprising or any constitutional way of challenging the succession. Instead, surprise surprise, the establishment moved incredibly swiftly to install the new king and carry on.


The wheels of state never stop in this country, that's why there was mention of "The King and Queen Consort" in the initial statement. Succession is automatic.

If there is to be protest, it might wait until after the funeral. Taking a step back from U75, where opinion is very much sceptical, we can all see that the response is currently one of mourning, reflection and support. Of course that might change. But as attitudes toward politicians are at an all time low, I'm not surprised to see a significant coalescence around the Royals. 

If the cost of living crisis gets any worse, then perhaps things will ramp up against certain elements of the "system". Personally I can't see the Royals being targeted by those protests if they're not seen as responsible, the ire will be directed towards politicians. Poll Tax protests didn't go after the Queen as far as I remember.


----------



## cesare (Sep 11, 2022)

The Sovereign Grant's about £85 million pa isn't it? Less than 2p each. Bit difficult to get hot under the collar about that when the parliamentarians wasted many more times than that on padding the pockets of their mates during the pandemic.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 11, 2022)

cesare said:


> The Sovereign Grant's about £85 million pa isn't it? Less than 2p each. Bit difficult to get hot under the collar about that when the parliamentarians wasted many more times than that on padding the pockets of their mates during the pandemic.


Think this is the point that will be examined over the next few weeks and months as the Royalty are focussed upon for the first real time since Diana's death. Politicians have rarely been popular but since the expenses scandal and the semi-adoption of American culture war attitudes, their stock will never rise again. This is how and why the Crown remains, always appearing to be "better" or above MPs.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 11, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Jedward
> 
> 2022 is weird


And they've been getting shit for it, even though they're Irish. This country (UK) is weird.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 11, 2022)

cesare said:


> The Sovereign Grant's about £85 million pa isn't it? Less than 2p each. Bit difficult to get hot under the collar about that when the parliamentarians wasted many more times than that on padding the pockets of their mates during the pandemic.


that's what the royal parasites rely on.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 11, 2022)

Petcha said:


> I couldn't agree more. Like her mother, she has been selfless in her tireless work. The sacrifices she has made for us all. I'm really not sure how either of them have managed to do it all, for all these years.



Yes, things on their watch have just got better and better for disabled people on benefits, while they themselves have to cope with only a few homes with all those rooms, free heating, fancy clothes etc. Utterly selfless, so much thought for others.


----------



## Sue (Sep 11, 2022)

cesare said:


> The Sovereign Grant's about £85 million pa isn't it? Less than 2p each. Bit difficult to get hot under the collar about that when the parliamentarians wasted many more times than that on padding the pockets of their mates during the pandemic.


No idea about the numbers. It's the fucking principle of the thing that fucks me off. And where did all that huge 'personal' wealth come from exactly?


----------



## stavros (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## cesare (Sep 11, 2022)

Sue said:


> No idea about the numbers. It's the fucking principle of the thing that fucks me off. And where did all that huge 'personal' wealth come from exactly?


The huge personal wealth came from us, as it did for all the huge land owners ever including the 2nd largest landowner outside London which is the Jesuits.


----------



## cesare (Sep 11, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Think this is the point that will be examined over the next few weeks and months as the Royalty are focussed upon for the first real time since Diana's death. Politicians have rarely been popular but since the expenses scandal and the semi-adoption of American culture war attitudes, their stock will never rise again. This is how and why the Crown remains, always appearing to be "better" or above MPs.


Not sure where you get your timeline from tbh.


----------



## Sue (Sep 11, 2022)

cesare said:


> The huge personal wealth came from us, as it did for all the huge land owners ever including the 2nd largest landowner outside London which is the Jesuits.


Exactly. I'd want that back an' all.

(Thought it was the Duke of Buccleuch but they're all crooks so...)


----------



## brogdale (Sep 11, 2022)

tonysingh said:


> Passed through Chathams glittering shopping centre earlier, the book of condolence has prime spot, by Wilko. Heard one flag shagger say to her mate "have you done the one in Rochester cathedral? I'm going to do them all".


In my head I read/heard that quoted overheard in pure N.Kentonese.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 11, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> William and harry on a walkabout who would of thought



Taking care of the family business.


----------



## A380 (Sep 11, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> daniel craig. even homer nods


Doh!


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 11, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Recent Public Order Bill basically facilitates plod arresting people for any public statement or behaviour they happen to not like.





Pickman's model said:


> bills don't do anything of the sort. you cannot be arrested under any bill in this country. acts on the other hand...



Sorry - I ran together two bits of information. The Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Act is already passed into law and increases the CJS's public order powers substantially already. Some of the more outrageous proposed parts of it were struck down by the House of Lords but the govt is now attempting to push them through in the Public Order Bill.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## marty21 (Sep 12, 2022)

20 hour queuing to file past the coffin ? 

Potential for a pensioner side hustle , queuing up for people who can't be arsed queuing but want to do their duty.  What would be a reasonable charge ? I'll see if Mrs21 is up for it *






*I can confidently predict that she fucking won't be.


----------



## bmd (Sep 12, 2022)

Is she actually in it?


----------



## bmd (Sep 12, 2022)

moochedit said:


> David Craig?


 David, Craig.


----------



## prunus (Sep 12, 2022)

Queueing for “many hours, possibly overnight, with little chance to sit or rest” plus “airport style security”. 

Surely that’s a massive “fuck that” for most people?  Surely?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

Just seen the route. Fucking hell, fuck that.


----------



## prunus (Sep 12, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Just seen the route. Fucking hell, fuck that.



Ah, good, there’s one. 

I’ll keep count.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 12, 2022)

People now being requested to stop laying out marmalade sandwiches with their flowers. And waits are expected to be up to 30 hours to see the coffin. Fucking hell... people are weird. I'm flying out on Wednesday, not having any more of this. People will actually die in that queue. Cameras are banned too so you can't even get the souvenir pic.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 12, 2022)

Un dead?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

prunus said:


> Ah, good, there’s one.
> 
> I’ll keep count.



Wasn't planning on going anyway so don't think it counts.

Main thing is I can get to work Thursday, routes the other side of the river


----------



## brogdale (Sep 12, 2022)

(vaguely) half-heard some guff on the radio about _not coming in to London as it will be full _or some such.

Sounds like they're softening us up for the pre-crime arrests at stations of those not dressed 'right' for the event.


----------



## prunus (Sep 12, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Wasn't planning on going anyway so don't think it counts.
> 
> Main thing is I can get to work Thursday, routes the other side of the river



Dammit. Have to start again.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

prunus said:


> Dammit. Have to start again.



Good luck, I’m sure you’ll lose count of the sheer number of urban members trudging to the coffin


----------



## Petcha (Sep 12, 2022)

I tell you what. Where the hell is Mick Lynch. This would be the perfect time for a strike.


----------



## kenny g (Sep 12, 2022)

bmd said:


> Is she actually in it?


Of course not.


----------



## bmd (Sep 12, 2022)

kenny g said:


> Of course not.


 So what's the point then?


----------



## prunus (Sep 12, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Good luck, I’m sure you’ll lose count of the sheer number of urban members trudging to the coffin



I have pencil and squared paper at the ready.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 12, 2022)

The police did pre emptive arrests for some royal do in the past. Was it Diana funeral? A few payouts I believe.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

bmd said:


> So what's the point then?



Theatre


----------



## bmd (Sep 12, 2022)

It's weird.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 12, 2022)

Perhaps the coffin will be dropped and revealed to be empty because the Queen is still alive, in a kind of reverse warming-pan scandal.


----------



## kenny g (Sep 12, 2022)

TopCat said:


> The police did pre emptive arrests for some royal do in the past. Was it Diana funeral? A few payouts I believe.


They arrested a stack of folks on a Ma'm event years ago and bunged them on a bus. Mass payouts followed. Most recent was Williams wedding where the Radical Anthropology Group academic and buddies were arrested. Didn't get any payout. As they were talking about throwing maggots into crowds that seems pretty reasonable when you consider the risk of stampedes/ crowd surges/ mass panics causing fatalities. I don't think the protesters had considered those aspects when releasing their pre event leaflets.

Some of the footage on the day of other protestors being roughed up by plain clothes coppers is pretty intense. One being a guy in Soho Square playing we all live in a fascist regime on his guitar being dragged out of the square.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 12, 2022)

TopCat said:


> The police did pre emptive arrests for some royal do in the past. Was it Diana funeral? A few payouts I believe.


they did pre-emptive arrests for the marriage of the new prince of wales, some arty types in soho square and an unfortunate anarchist just down in the west end. but the arty types wanted a judicial review and this went the wrong way. so even though the case went to europe there was no payout then. in 2001 there were arrests after a m'am do the day of the golden jubilee where quite a few people were swept up in a wetherspoon's - they later got £3.5k each. i missed out because a girl i was with had a dog with her - which wasn't allowed in wetherspoon's. the most expensive dog of my acquaintance.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 12, 2022)

kenny g said:


> They arrested a stack of folks on a Ma'm event years ago and bunged them on a bus. Mass payouts followed. Most recent was Williams wedding where the Radio Anthropology Group academic and buddies were arrested. Didn't get any payout. As they were talking about throwing maggots into crowds that seems pretty reasonable when you consider the risk of stampedes/ crowd surges/ mass panics causing fatalities. I don't think the protesters had considered those aspects when releasing their pre event leaflets.
> 
> Some of the footage on the day of other protestors being roughed up by plain clothes coppers is pretty intense. One being a guy in Soho Square playing we all live in a fascist regime on his guitar being dragged out of the square.


yeh they would have got a payout if they'd sued but they went for a jr


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 12, 2022)

kenny g said:


> They arrested a stack of folks on a Ma'm event years ago and bunged them on a bus. Mass payouts followed. Most recent was Williams wedding where the Radical Anthropology Group academic and buddies were arrested. Didn't get any payout. As they were talking about throwing maggots into crowds that seems pretty reasonable when you consider the risk of stampedes/ crowd surges/ mass panics causing fatalities. I don't think the protesters had considered those aspects when releasing their pre event leaflets.
> 
> Some of the footage on the day of other protestors being roughed up by plain clothes coppers is pretty intense. One being a guy in Soho Square playing we all live in a fascist regime on his guitar being dragged out of the square.



Didn't Chris Knight (the Rad Anthro guy) lose his pension over that one? That's what I remember anyway.


----------



## kenny g (Sep 12, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> yeh they would have got a payout if they'd sued but the went for a jr


Aha. The law on grounds for arrest being a lot clearer than JR's. Sounds like some lawyers trying to over extend rather than just get a result.


Idris2002 said:


> Didn't Chris Knight (the Rad Anthro guy) lose his pension over that one? That's what I remember anyway.


Got dismissed didn't know about the pension. If so that seems harsh.

ETA according to wiki now at UCL.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 12, 2022)

kenny g said:


> Aha. The law on grounds for arrest being a lot clearer than JR's. Sounds like some lawyers trying to over extend rather than just get a result.


as anyone who was at fairford in 2003 knows, you only need a few people to opt for a judicial review to trump other people's rights to simply sue the police. but it is the clients, the people who opt for jr, i blame, not the lawyers who while they have a vested interest (more money and a spot of legal fame) in a jr don't make the actual decision on how to proceed.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 12, 2022)

kenny g said:


> Aha. The law on grounds for arrest being a lot clearer than JR's. Sounds like some lawyers trying to over extend rather than just get a result.
> 
> Got dismissed didn't know about the pension. If so that seems harsh.
> 
> ETA according to wiki now at UCL.


Googling doesn't bring anything up, so I may have misremembered that one.


----------



## gosub (Sep 12, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Yes, and now unlike you I know who the monarch is.


 suppose you are going to be utterly selfish and keep it secret.  That's not very community spirited


----------



## marty21 (Sep 12, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 342367
> 
> 
> 
> Un dead?


This could totally reboot the Zombie film genre


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 12, 2022)

kenny g said:


> Aha. The law on grounds for arrest being a lot clearer than JR's. Sounds like some lawyers trying to over extend rather than just get a result.
> 
> Got dismissed didn't know about the pension. If so that seems harsh.
> 
> ETA according to wiki now at UCL.


i'm not sure 'honorary senior research associate' is an actual job


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## weepiper (Sep 12, 2022)

Prince Andrew heckled as they walked up to St Giles:


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Sue (Sep 12, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Prince Andrew heckled as they walked up to St Giles:



That seems quite polite as heckling goes.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 12, 2022)

Eyebrow-raising that there seem to have been people in the crowd who all knew to shout "God save the King".


----------



## killer b (Sep 12, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Eyebrow-raising that there seem to have been people in the crowd who all knew to shout "God save the King".


You know what they were there to watch don't you?


----------



## weepiper (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Cid (Sep 12, 2022)

Out of interest, do US posters get the same google graphic things? E.g if I open a new tab in chrome, google is grey. Or if I start chrome it's greyed out with added ribbon. Similarly youtube currently has a black ribbon next to the logo.

Yuwipi Woman petee 

And any other forrin/ex-pat urbans I suppose.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 12, 2022)

Cid said:


> Out of interest, do US posters get the same google graphic things? E.g if I open a new tab in chrome, google is grey. Or if I start chrome it's greyed out with added ribbon. Similarly youtube currently has a black ribbon next to the logo.
> 
> Yuwipi Woman petee
> 
> And any other forrin/ex-pat urbans I suppose.



I don't see any.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 12, 2022)

killer b said:


> You know what they were there to watch don't you?


Aye, but you'd expect a variety of responses, like some booing, some very British muttering of "oh, for goodness sake", someone trying to cause a distraction by letting off balloons. Instead there's this seeming telepathic shared response.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 12, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Aye, but you'd expect a variety of responses, like some booing, some very British muttering of "oh, for goodness sake", someone trying to cause a distraction by letting off balloons. Instead there's this seeming telepathic shared response.



I don't think telepathy is necessary for several people in a crowd to start shouting the same thing. 

When people started applauding following some shouting from protesters at Thatcher's funeral, do you think they were all telepathic, or maybe state agents?


----------



## Cid (Sep 12, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I don't see any.



Looks like this over here (just spoilered for image size):



Spoiler


----------



## killer b (Sep 12, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Aye, but you'd expect a variety of responses, like some booing, some very British muttering of "oh, for goodness sake", someone trying to cause a distraction by letting off balloons. Instead there's this seeming telepathic shared response.


It's a crowd full of weirdo royalists itching to try out shouting 'god save the king' for the first time in their lives, of course they're going to reach for that


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 12, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


>



That's quite loud.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

Was that a member of the public yanking him back and having a go?

That’s assault


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 12, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Was that a member of the public yanking him back and having a go?
> 
> That’s assault


Might have been his Mammy


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Was that a member of the public yanking him back and having a go?
> 
> That’s assault



hmm i'm guessing the crowd quite pro royal atm

and seeming to think a sex offender using his mother funeral to improve his image is just fine


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 12, 2022)

Sue said:


> That seems quite polite as heckling goes.


Yeah, everyone knows "sweaty nonce" is his official title now.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

It is amazing how “we must supply a balanced viewpoint” suddenly vanished


----------



## weepiper (Sep 12, 2022)

Another angle. Can hear 'disgusting nonce' and I think 'disgrace to Scotland' through the God Save The Kinging


----------



## teqniq (Sep 12, 2022)

OB in Scotland charging people subsequent to arrest:


----------



## marty21 (Sep 12, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Yeah, everyone knows "sweaty nonce" is his official title now.


The Prince of Nonce


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 12, 2022)

xsunnysuex said:


> View attachment 341884


The Golden Turd.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 12, 2022)

OB in London:


----------



## A380 (Sep 12, 2022)

bmd said:


> Is she actually in it?


Shrodringer’s Queen.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

teqniq said:


> OB in London:




hmm reminds me of some thing


----------



## teqniq (Sep 12, 2022)

teqniq said:


> OB in London:



OB have overstepped the mark according to this:



Who would have guessed? Will be interesting to see what happens with those arrested and charged in Scotland.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 12, 2022)

Don't they have to fish Phil the Greek out of storage so he can be buried with her? Or will that be done later when everyone has gone home? Be funny if they've lost him. 
What do you mean you've lost the Duke of Fucking Edinburgh?? The Man's Dead he can't have walked off can he?
Sod it get some dead tramp out of the local morgue and we'll stick him in with her instead.


----------



## smmudge (Sep 12, 2022)

Sorry if this has been covered but.... how are they keeping her "fresh"?? She must be more embalming fluid than flesh right now. People in the 20 hour queue will be able to smell her as soon as they join it


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 12, 2022)

smmudge said:


> Sorry if this has been covered but.... how are they keeping her "fresh"?? She must be more embalming fluid than flesh right now. People in the 20 hour queue will be able to smell her as soon as they join it


They're using her waxwork out of Madam Tussauds


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 12, 2022)

smmudge said:


> Sorry if this has been covered but.... how are they keeping her "fresh"?? She must be more embalming fluid than flesh right now. People in the 20 hour queue will be able to smell her as soon as they join it


Cold blooded, it takes longer.


----------



## maomao (Sep 12, 2022)

I'm starting to think even the people who pretend to give a fuck don't give a rat's arse. I saw a deputy head tell a hall full of 11-year olds that the queen was George IV's daughter and that the new king was Charles II today.


----------



## Poot (Sep 12, 2022)

maomao said:


> I'm starting to think even the people who pretend to give a fuck don't give a rat's arse. I saw a deputy head tell a hall full of 11-year olds that the queen was George IV's daughter and that the new king was Charles II today.


My son and his fellow sixth formers have a dedicated counsellor to speak to if the grief becomes too much. They must be cracking up in the staff room.


----------



## stavros (Sep 12, 2022)

maomao said:


> I'm starting to think even the people who pretend to give a fuck don't give a rat's arse.


I'm sensing a version of the opposite. Although I make tentative attempts in the real world, this place seems like the only place where I can truly express how pissed off I am with the whole thing.


----------



## RainbowTown (Sep 12, 2022)

Arrested for publicly voicing wholly legitimate and honestly held opinions.

Hysterical nonsense and total loss of reasoning engulfing swathes of the population.

Wall to wall UK media coverage which borders on indoctrination and inculcation.

Even marmalade sandwiches and Paddington Bear. Oh, and seas of flowers to waft through as the population 'grieves'.

Look, we knew the reaction to her death would be massive. Of course it would be.  But the current level of lunacy that's been displayed by some in the UK at the moment borders on the farcical and the outright absurd. Tears of a clown indeed.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 12, 2022)

I have never had a marmalade sandwich. But the idea sounds disgusting.

Just felt better for saying that.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 12, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I have never had a marmalade sandwich. But the idea sounds disgusting.
> 
> Just felt better for saying that.


Neither have I , but it doesn't sound disgusting tbf


----------



## smmudge (Sep 12, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Cold blooded, it takes longer.



That's the thing isn't it, she'd be warmed up by now being paraded about in this early autumn heat. Is she being kept in a fridge in any of these resting places. Ugh.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 12, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I have never had a marmalade sandwich. But the idea sounds disgusting.



you....  TRAITOR


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 12, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I have never had a marmalade sandwich. But the idea sounds disgusting.
> 
> Just felt better for saying that.


Nothing wrong with a marmalade sandwich, something different from having cheese or ham everyday


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 12, 2022)

One for Pickman's model .


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 12, 2022)

I always make a sandwich out of my marmalade on toast as I usually eat it whilst I'm driving to work. That way the steering wheel doesn't get sticky.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 12, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> One for Pickman's model .



There's an Orangutan in Chester Zoo called Sibu. He'd make a great monarch.


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 12, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> There's an Orangutan in Chester Zoo called Sibu. He'd make a great monarch.


Ahem


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 12, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> Ahem


Apparently he's died now so you must be king.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 12, 2022)

Queuing for 4+ hours in the dark to shuffle past the corpse of a woman you've never met.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 12, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Queuing for 4+ hours in the dark to shuffle past the corpse of a woman you've never met.



And you have to take it on trust that she's really in there because you can't even see her.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 12, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> There's an Orangutan in Chester Zoo called Sibu. He'd make a great monarch.


Orangs are great!

This is the kind of leadership we need: 

Ferried around in a wheelbarrow


----------



## Sue (Sep 12, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I have never had a marmalade sandwich. But the idea sounds disgusting.
> 
> Just felt better for saying that.


Marmalade on toast at least...?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 12, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Queuing for 4+ hours in the dark to shuffle past the corpse of a woman you've never met.



It's beyond satire at this point


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 12, 2022)

Can you actually see her or is it just a closed box?


----------



## weepiper (Sep 12, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Can you actually see her or is it just a closed box?


Closed box draped in a flag with the crown of Scotland (which you can see on display at Edinburgh Castle usually) on top.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> I always make a sandwich out of my marmalade on toast as I usually eat it whilst I'm driving to work*. That way the steering wheel doesn't get sticky.*


I'm sure that could have been the punchline to several posts.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 12, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Closed box draped in a flag with the crown of Scotland (which you can see on display at Edinburgh Castle usually) on top.


I've seen the Scottish Crown Jewels when I visited Edinburgh Castle, it was quite interesting much more so that a wooden box with a flag draped over it. For all these clowns know there might be just a couple of orange crates under the flag with Brenda shoved in the freezer to stop her going off.

What I really really want is for something to go wrong like them losing the body or someone knocking the coffin  over to discover it just contains a couple of sacks of spuds.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 12, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> I've seen the Scottish Crown Jewels when I visited Edinburgh Castle, it was quite interesting much more so that a wooden box with a flag draped over it. For all these clowns know there might be just a couple of orange crates under the flag with Brenda shoved in the freezer to stop her going off.
> 
> What I really really want is for something to go wrong like them losing the body or someone knocking the coffin  over to discover it just contains a couple of sacks of spuds.


Reminded me somehow of _The Wrong Box_


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

bluescreen said:


> And you have to take it on trust that she's really in there because you can't even see her.


The Lenin's Mausoleum problem. Quite waxy.


----------



## bluescreen (Sep 12, 2022)

Wilf said:


> The Lenin's Mausoleum problem. Quite waxy.


Blimey. It's still going.

Edit. I think the Firm missed a trick there. Think of what they could be charging in admission fees from here to eternity.


----------



## Epona (Sep 12, 2022)

Tbf over the arrests thing (which is fucking dreadful), I was once threatened with arrest for "behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace" (ie it was controversial, they didn't like it, and someone might attack me or cause a ruckus over what I was saying) for handing out leaflets on an ordinary Saturday morning that went against the British establishment view of Northern Ireland - this was 30 years ago so it's not entirely a new thing for the establishment boot boys to take a hard line over people saying something that isn't deemed appropriate.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

Epona said:


> Tbf over the arrests thing (which is fucking dreadful), I was once threatened with arrest for "behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace" (ie it was controversial, they didn't like it, and someone might attack me or cause a ruckus over what I was saying) for handing out leaflets on an ordinary Saturday morning that went against the British establishment view of Northern Ireland - this was 30 years ago so it's not entirely a new thing for the establishment boot boys to take a hard line over people saying something that isn't deemed appropriate.



Various Twatter lawyers have pointed out that police have had the power to do it since like 1988 under breach of the peace regulations (and tbf while history of the 19th-20th Century isn't something I read much of its always been my impression that the police can make up any old shit and nick you and did so with great glee the further back in time you go)

Latest protest bill just makes it that much explicit.


----------



## Epona (Sep 12, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Various Twatter lawyers have pointed out that police have had the power to do it since like 1988 under breach of the peace regulations (and tbf while history of the 19th-20th Century isn't something I read much of its always been my impression that the police can make up any old shit and nick you and did so with great glee the further back in time you go)
> 
> Latest protest bill just makes it that much explicit.



Yep that was it.


----------



## ice-is-forming (Sep 12, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Nothing wrong with a marmalade sandwich, something different from having cheese or ham everyday



Cheese and marmalade sandwich ftw


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 12, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> I always make a sandwich out of my marmalade on toast as I usually eat it whilst I'm driving to work. That way the steering wheel doesn't get sticky.


Perhaps Paddington (Known to be a Royal family insider) had been feeding Henri Paul marmalade sandwiches at the Ritz hotel back in 1997.


----------



## heinous seamus (Sep 12, 2022)

smmudge said:


> Sorry if this has been covered but.... how are they keeping her "fresh"?? She must be more embalming fluid than flesh right now. People in the 20 hour queue will be able to smell her as soon as they join it


That's why it's called 'lying in state'. Cause she'll be in a fucking state by the end of it.


----------



## Duncan2 (Sep 13, 2022)

heinous seamus said:


> That's why it's called 'lying in state'. Cause she'll be in a fucking state by the end of it.


Did hear that the reason they need eight bearers is because it's a lead lined coffin.There was a very articulate Scot interviewed in the crowd on the Royal Mile earlier who waved an arm at the flummery and remarked that this is not who we are in the twenty first century,this is like a fairy tale.He was right about that.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 13, 2022)

ice-is-forming said:


> Cheese and marmalade sandwich ftw


Marmalade first.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 13, 2022)

Epona said:


> Tbf over the arrests thing (which is fucking dreadful), I was once threatened with arrest for "behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace" (ie it was controversial, they didn't like it, and someone might attack me or cause a ruckus over what I was saying) for handing out leaflets on an ordinary Saturday morning that went against the British establishment view of Northern Ireland - this was 30 years ago so it's not entirely a new thing for the establishment boot boys to take a hard line over people saying something that isn't deemed appropriate.


The Met must be aware that their reputation is in the toilet as it is so some of the heavy handedness looks pretty awful. I understand why there must be acute wariness but the Home Office has spent years under Patel fashioning the worst kind of anti-everything legislation, it's just I think the dreaded phrase "optics" looks terrible.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

Having dipped out of nearly all MSM since the monarchical demise, made the schoolboy error of thinking things might be getting back to ‘normal’ a bit and turned on last night’s C4News. ‘Kinnel, seems to be getting worse, if anything.
Proper full-on state broadcaster style death-cult idolatry.

Won’t be bothering till they’ve properly nailed the deceased in the vault.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

jebus if they give this new queen show a second series i've going to have to kick in the front of my telly


High points of the news this morning "we just lucky it happen in Edinburgh"

i not even a fan of the women but not sure if thats the best sentiment


----------



## teqniq (Sep 13, 2022)

teqniq said:


> OB in London:



The guy with the blank piece of paper speaks (Paul Powelsland):


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

teqniq said:


> The guy with the blank piece of paper speaks (Paul Powelsland):



They reckon once they're over this tricky patch it'll be plain sailing but I'm not persuaded that's the case


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> jebus if they give this new queen show a second series i've going to have to kick in the front of my telly
> 
> 
> High points of the news this morning "we just lucky it happen in Edinburgh"
> ...


Or indeed accurate


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 13, 2022)

I've never smelled anything untoward at a funeral, regardless of how long after the death it's taken place. I presume coffins are designed to be pretty self contained on that front.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 13, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> They reckon once they're over this tricky patch it'll be plain sailing but I'm not persuaded that's the case


One can only but hope. He says in the clip 'I'm a republican now, I wasn't before'.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 13, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Orangs are great!
> 
> This is the kind of leadership we need:
> 
> Ferried around in a wheelbarrow





Karl Masks said:


> Orangs are great!
> 
> This is the kind of leadership we need:
> 
> Ferried around in a wheelbarrow



They are gorgeous. My favourite animal. Orangutan videos really helped me through lockdowns etc. Now, I know lots of their names, individual personalities, all that. Well worth asking anyone who'll buy you a birthday present to donate to an orangutan conservation charity instead.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> I've never smelled anything untoward at a funeral, regardless of how long after the death it's taken place. I presume coffins are designed to be pretty self contained on that front.



the deceased leaking all over the place is normally frowned upon, for Irish wakes you tended to have the heating off and windows open before nailing the coffin down mind


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

teqniq said:


> One can only but hope. He says in the clip 'I'm a republican now, I wasn't before'.


Given the hereditary principle has been essentially banished from the Lords, aye, and signed into law by the mouldering corpse, by what perverted form of logic should we omit the greatest peer from this? Conan bellowed 'by this axe I rule', let's see charles go up against the pd militia armed solely with such a weapon


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> the deceased leaking all over the place is normally frowned upon, for Irish wakes you tended to have the heating off and windows open before nailing the coffin down mind


I'm sure given a few minutes, a hammer, coffin, and some nails we could do the same for our gracious monarch charles


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 13, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> They are gorgeous. My favourite animal. Orangutan videos really helped me through lockdowns etc. Now, I know lots of their names, individual personalities, all that. Well worth asking anyone who'll buy you a birthday present to donate to an orangutan conservation charity instead.


so sadly critically endangered. Wish that were the case for the institution of Monarchy


----------



## clicker (Sep 13, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> I've never smelled anything untoward at a funeral, regardless of how long after the death it's taken place. I presume coffins are designed to be pretty self contained on that front.


Sadly some coffins don't disguise a smell, if there is a smell. I was at a funeral where the coffin was a wicker basket design and the stench of decay was palpable.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 13, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Queuing for 4+ hours in the dark to shuffle past the corpse of a woman you've never met.



I've heard various estimates of up to 24 hours to see the coffin in Westminster Hall ....fuck that . Mind you , I might have a look after a 10 minute wait , but any more than that and I'm out.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 13, 2022)

Popped the hospital to give a blood sample this morning and they had the BBC news on in the clinic. There was someone reporting live from St Giles, Why? the woman is dead what do they expect to change?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Popped the hospital to give a blood sample this morning and they had the BBC news on in the clinic. There was someone reporting live from St Giles, Why? the woman is dead what do they expect to change?


the woman is dead but is her inner parasite?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 13, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Popped the hospital to give a blood sample this morning and they had the BBC news on in the clinic. There was someone reporting live from St Giles, Why? the woman is dead what do they expect to change?


Home Secretary Braverman is expected to upgrade the Grief level to "Tedious" later this week


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 13, 2022)

marty21 said:


> I've heard various estimates of up to 24 hours to see the coffin in Westminster Hall ....fuck that . Mind you , *I might have a look* after a 10 minute wait , but any more than that and I'm out.


Stake in hand?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Stake in hand?


and betting slip


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 13, 2022)

_I'm not a royalist any more but..._


----------



## teqniq (Sep 13, 2022)

Charlie boy's coming to Cardiff this week and Llandaff in particular because that's where the cathedral is on Friday i believe. Yesterday they closed the Hight St to regular traffic save for deliveries and possibly local residents and today I walked up to post a form  and observed blokes applying fresh back paint to bollards and suchlike. The deference is pathetic.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 13, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> so sadly critically endangered. Wish that were the case for the institution of Monarch


It really is completely heartbreaking that such beautiful and gentle creatures should be in this predicament. I'd like to see them granted legal personhood. There was a picture I saw recently of a tiny baby, looking confused and sad at the sight of his hand (the fingers had been severed during whatever had happened to him). I do usually try to steer clear of the more upsetting stuff in favour of being rescued/enjoying a bath/making friends/playing/first day at school footage, because it does reduce me to tears see them distressed, hurt or lonely, but his face was so cute I had to click.




clicker said:


> Sadly some coffins don't disguise a smell, if there is a smell. I was at a funeral where the coffin was a wicker basket design and the stench of decay was palpable.


That is absolutely grim. Happy to say I haven't come across that yet, even with wicker or leaf.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 13, 2022)

A voice of sanity


----------



## Cid (Sep 13, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Nothing wrong with a marmalade sandwich, something different from having cheese or ham everyday



Word to the wise; if you put both cheese _and_ ham in, it will blow your mind.

Better still, add a little marmalade. Maybe some pickles, a little salad.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 13, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> It really is completely heartbreaking that such beautiful and gentle creatures should be in this predicament. I'd like to see them granted legal personhood. There was a picture I saw recently of a tiny baby, looking confused and sad at the sight of his hand (the fingers had been severed during whatever had happened to him). I do usually try to steer clear of the more upsetting stuff in favour of being rescued/enjoying a bath/making friends/playing/first day at school footage, because it does reduce me to tears see them distressed, hurt or lonely, but his face was so cute I had to click.


There was a very disturbing clip of an infant called Joss who suffered extreme trauma and would bang against a wall with her arms tightly wrapped around herself. It was upsetting as they are very prone to depression just like us. I wouldn't mention it (especially in a thread about something else entirely), but for the fact that she recovered and was successfully raised.

Anyway, fuck the Monarchy


----------



## kabbes (Sep 13, 2022)

I was fairly neutral towards Paddington Bear before. Found the books tedious and the films enjoyable but the character himself was just meh. 

I can’t stand the sight of the little shit now, though.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

i'd have thought a bear from darkest peru would incline more towards tupac amaru than the decadence of the parasitical british ruling class.


----------



## agricola (Sep 13, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> i'd have thought a bear from darkest peru would incline more towards tupac amaru than the decadence of the parasitical british ruling class.



perhaps it was the parasitical decadence that reminded him of home


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

Cid said:


> Word to the wise; if you put both cheese _and_ ham in, it will blow your mind.
> 
> Better still, add a little marmalade. Maybe some pickles, a little salad.


I some times do that but I never added marmalade through


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

Sprinkle a bit of vinegar on the marmalade and you've got chutney


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

kabbes said:


> I was fairly neutral towards Paddington Bear before. Found the books tedious and the films enjoyable but the character himself was just meh.
> 
> I can’t stand the sight of the little shit now, though.



It’s always been boringly twee, not something I was into as a kid.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

Bagpuss would have reared up and scratched the queen to fuck if she'd tried that tea nonsense on with him


----------



## N_igma (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

N_igma said:


> View attachment 342555


i like to think that paddington is one of those bears that shit on royal graves


----------



## marty21 (Sep 13, 2022)

Now I'm reading that folk will be queuing 30+ hours , ffs. 

I know there are portaloos along the route - what's the protocol? If you nip a portaloo, do you have to go to the back of the queue afterwards ?  Portaloo Protocol.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 13, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Now I'm reading that folk will be queuing 30+ hours , ffs.
> 
> I know there are portaloos along the route - what's the protocol? If you nip a portaloo, do you have to go to the back of the queue afterwards ?  Portaloo Protocol.


There was someone on the news this morning queuing already so you better get down there Marty. With a bucket, so you don't have to nip off!!


----------



## 19sixtysix (Sep 13, 2022)

marty21 said:


> ..I know there are portaloos along the route....


Pop down and stick closed for duration of mourning notices on them.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

Some of these credulous tools will doubtless cark whilst queuing; can only imagine _it's what she would have wanted_.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 13, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> There was someone on the news this morning queuing already so you better get down there Marty. With a bucket, so you don't have to nip off!!


I'm not going there ffs, could be a nice side hustle for someone though , collecting the various filled bottles & bags to dispose of them (over local garden hedges)


----------



## belboid (Sep 13, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Now I'm reading that folk will be queuing 30+ hours , ffs.
> 
> I know there are portaloos along the route - what's the protocol? If you nip a portaloo, do you have to go to the back of the queue afterwards ?  Portaloo Protocol.


They are apparently giving out numbered bands so people can nip off to eat and shit.  Probably not got quite enough for everyone there tho


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 13, 2022)

marty21 said:


> Now I'm reading that folk will be queuing 30+ hours , ffs.
> 
> I know there are portaloos along the route - what's the protocol? If you nip a portaloo, do you have to go to the back of the queue afterwards ?  Portaloo Protocol.



I read a book over the summer about growing up in Communist Albania in which a complex system of neighbour support and large stones were used to manage absent queuing. Given the Hoxha levels of personality cult exhibited by the royal queuers maybe they could use a similar routine.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 13, 2022)

Opportunities for profit here selling them food and drink at extortionate prices and carting off pee and excrement. Apply for the By Royal Appointment warrant whilst you're at it.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 13, 2022)

belboid said:


> They are apparently giving out numbered bands so people can nip off to eat and shit.  Probably not got quite enough for everyone there tho


What could possibly go wrong 🤣


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Opportunities for profit here selling them food and drink at extortionate prices and carting off pee and excrement. Apply for the By Royal Appointment warrant whilst you're at it.


Plenty of business in this. Any Queen's Funeral Mugs yet?

The "Crown" should claim royalties (wonder where that word comes from?) for the  foreign broadcasting rights for the funeral...


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 13, 2022)

I’ve just checked and when the Thai king died in 2016, they had a year of mourning. Thankfully we haven’t gone quite that far, although I’m sure there’s a few holdouts who will be dressing in black for quite some time.

Oh and have a guess which member of the royal family found time to make it to the funeral


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 13, 2022)

Center Parcs and Odeon cinemas among businesses closing for Queen's funeral
					

Major supermarkets, John Lewis and Primark have all also said they will close on Monday 19 September.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




The Q's were actually at Centre Parcs (Elveden Forest) when People's Princess carked it and it didn't spoil our hols one little bit.  Closing stores for the day is one thing but cancelling people's holiday is another.  I would hope their arses get sued over this, it doesn't say anything about refunds in the article.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I’ve just checked and when the Thai king died in 2016, they had a year of mourning. Thankfully we haven’t gone quite that far, although I’m sure there’s a few holdouts who will be dressing in black for quite some time.
> 
> Oh and have a guess which member of the royal family found time to make it to the funeral





> The crisis ended with another coup d'état in 2014. The ensuing National Council for Peace and Order, a military junta led by General Prayut Chan-o-cha, led the country until 2019. Civil and political rights were restricted, and the country saw a surge in lèse-majesté cases. Political opponents and dissenters were sent to "attitude adjustment" camps


wikipedia


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 13, 2022)

marty21 said:


> What could possibly go wrong 🤣


Brawling in the street for the chance to pay their respects.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 13, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I’ve just checked and when the Thai king died in 2016, they had a year of mourning. Thankfully we haven’t gone quite that far, although I’m sure there’s a few holdouts who will be dressing in black for quite some time.
> 
> Oh and have a guess which member of the royal family found time to make it to the funeral



Wife overheard someone saying, "Charles seems to be doing a good job of being King, but maybe he shouldn't give the Christmas speech this year." WTF.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 13, 2022)

Do you remember when the word 'duty' had a meaning?


----------



## editor (Sep 13, 2022)

Turned on the TV and was astonished to see the massive crowds in Edinburgh watching the coffin go by. 
Mental.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

editor said:


> Turned on the TV and was astonished to see the massive crowds in Edinburgh watching the coffin go by.
> Mental.


it's not that astonishing if you remember the way so many people lost the plot over diana. if there was a poll done now, loads of people would feel quite differently now from the way they will when they realise in a couple of weeks how they've embarrassed themselves


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 13, 2022)

If it's mad to watch the coffin, isn't it even madder to watch the watchers?


----------



## Raheem (Sep 13, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> If it's mad to watch the coffin, isn't it even madder to watch the watchers?


When you put it like that, I think I'm going to cancel my train journey to Edinburgh.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 13, 2022)

In Hong Kong, people are waiting in the heat for hours and hours to leave flowers and sign a condolence book at the British consulate - while there's no doubt some genuine nostalgia for the queen among the older generations, it also seems to be a way of saying what is now otherwise unsayable in public, that people are extremely dissatisfied with their government and rule from London was better than rule from Beijing.

_An 80-year-old retiree, who gave his surname Poon, was holding a bunch of red lilies and spoke bluntly.

“In the past we had human rights, equality before the law, and protections in many aspects,” he said.

"But now, I would not comment on the present, I dare not.”_









						In Pictures: 'Mourning the past is not a crime' - huge queues as Hongkongers pay tribute to Queen - Hong Kong Free Press HKFP
					

by Su Xinqi Crowds of Hong Kongers queued in sweltering heat on Monday to pay tribute to Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II, some expressing nostalgia for the city’s colonial past at a time when China is seeking to purge dissent. Public gatherings of more than four people are banned under coronavirus...




					hongkongfp.com


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> If it's mad to watch the coffin, isn't it even madder to watch the watchers?


Empty coffin.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

Leaving Scotland for the last tine


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Leaving Scotland for the last tine


Reports that the gazza classic song 'fog on the tine' can be heard coming from the queen's coffin have been denied by the royal household


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Leaving Scotland for the last tine


What is?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

brogdale said:


> What is?


Coffin of Queen Elizabeth on plane


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 13, 2022)

brogdale said:


> What is?


The corgis' dinner


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Coffin of Queen Elizabeth on plane


Coffin said to contain the mortal remains of the Saxe-Coburg and Gotha woman.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Coffin said to contain the mortal remains of the Saxe-Coburg and Gotha woman.


Technically Windsor or Mountbatten by marriage


----------



## Sasaferrato (Sep 13, 2022)

Just watched the plane carrying the Boss South pass over us.

RIP Boss, and thank you for seven decades of service.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

Sasaferrato said:


> Just watched the plane carrying the Boss South pass over us.
> 
> RIP Boss, and thank you for seven decades of service.


Who dat Boss South?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Who dat Boss South?


Sounds like someone from the Dukes of Hazard


----------



## A380 (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Various Twatter lawyers have pointed out that police have had the power to do it since like 1988 under breach of the peace regulations (and tbf while history of the 19th-20th Century isn't something I read much of its always been my impression that the police can make up any old shit and nick you and did so with great glee the further back in time you go)
> 
> Latest protest bill just makes it that much explicit.


Nah, recent stated cases in England and Wales* where people were arrested for protests that 'were likely to lead them being assaulted by others' have all failed at the court of appeal in recent years.

*Despite the same name Breach of the Peace in Scotland is a completely  different thing, its a crime for a start, unlike what we have have south of the border,


----------



## LDC (Sep 13, 2022)

Sasaferrato said:


> Just watched the plane carrying the Boss South pass over us.
> 
> RIP Boss, and thank you for seven decades of service.



Yeah I had to read that a few times. Thought you had gone all gangster on us.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Who dat Boss South?


.


----------



## A380 (Sep 13, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Coffin of Queen Elizabeth on plane


Worst Snakes of a Plane sequel Evah.

"I've had enough of this mutherfuking catafalque on  this mutherfucking plane ...'


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 13, 2022)

The Boss is dead?  

I think Bruce Springsteen dying merits its own thread, tbh.


----------



## A380 (Sep 13, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Ouch.
> 
> View attachment 342603


I think there is quite a robust  rule about not posting extracts from conversations on threads...


----------



## Santino (Sep 13, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Ouch.
> 
> View attachment 342603


Very disrespectful at this time of national reflection.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

#notthebossofme


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

A380 said:


> I think there is quite a robust  rule about not posting extracts from conversations on threads...


If so, i apologise unreservedly to Sasaferrato and will remove immediately.


----------



## goldenecitrone (Sep 13, 2022)

Apparently, there's been mix up with the luggage going onto the plane, and the Queen's coffin is now on its way to Lanzarote. Typical.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 13, 2022)

goldenecitrone said:


> Apparently, there's been mix up with the luggage going onto the plane, and the Queen's coffin is now on its way to Lanzarote. Typical.


Ooh. We'll get a new one on the insurance.


----------



## stavros (Sep 13, 2022)

Nicholas Witchell on the BBC:

"They [the corgis] know nothing of her status."


----------



## rekil (Sep 13, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> The Boss is dead?
> 
> I think Bruce Springsteen dying merits its own thread, tbh.


Baby we were Born To Ruuuuule



> Beyond the Palace, hemi-powered drones
> Scream down the the weirdo lined Mall
> Sad Paddington's clutchin' a marmalade sandwich
> Hopin' Harry doesn't go a lil bit Nepal


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

stavros said:


> Nicholas Witchell on the BBC:
> 
> "They [the corgis] know nothing of her status."


Oh geez, really is that all his got say?

but I do think dog  know something is not right when they dont see their owner not there anymore


----------



## stavros (Sep 13, 2022)

I don't know how true this is, but I did hear a story that Morrisons had turned the bleep on their till scanners to silent, "as a mark of respect".


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 13, 2022)

stavros said:


> I don't know how true this is, but I did hear a story that Morrisons had turned the bleep on their till scanners to silent, "as a mark of respect".


Yep.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

stavros said:


> I don't know how true this is, but I did hear a story that Morrisons had turned the bleep on their till scanners to silent, "as a mark of respect".


Hmmm


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 13, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Leaving Scotland for the last tine


Not all bad news then


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

stavros said:


> Nicholas Witchell on the BBC:
> 
> "They [the corgis] know nothing of her status."




Again? He said that a week ago


----------



## Sue (Sep 13, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Leaving Scotland for the last tine





Bingoman said:


> Coffin of Queen Elizabeth on plane


First time, surely?


----------



## T & P (Sep 13, 2022)

editor said:


> Turned on the TV and was astonished to see the massive crowds in Edinburgh watching the coffin go by.
> Mental.


I was initially thinking on the same lines during the first few days of the current madness, But it’s worth keeping in mind that for every one of those thousands of people  seen in the news crying outside a Royal residence, queuing for many hours for some condolence event, or being interviewed on TV telling us how much they love Brenda, there are a hundred times as many of us who don’t feel like that at all, let alone feeling like wanting to pay our respects by attending some place.

I normally recoil at the term ‘silent majority’, being a right wing staple of the likes of the Daily Mail, but if there was ever a fitting scenario for that expression, this is it.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 13, 2022)

stavros said:


> Nicholas Witchell on the BBC:
> 
> "They [the corgis] know nothing of her status."



I thought dogs were very hierarchical by nature? It's likely they knew precisely where their mistress fitted in the grand scheme of status, especially when compared to the other people they saw interacting with her.


----------



## Skim (Sep 13, 2022)

stavros said:


> I don't know how true this is, but I did hear a story that Morrisons had turned the bleep on their till scanners to silent, "as a mark of respect".


Sainsbury’s turned their SmartShop scanners black:


----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 13, 2022)

stavros said:


> I don't know how true this is, but I did hear a story that Morrisons had turned the bleep on their till scanners to silent, "*as Operation Shoplift in Her Memory is in full swing*".


 More accurate.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 13, 2022)

T & P said:


> I was initially thinking on the same lines during the first few days of the current madness, But it’s worth keeping in mind that for every one of those thousands of people  seen in the news crying outside a Royal residence, queuing for many hours for some condolence event, or being interviewed on TV telling us how much they love Brenda, there are a hundred times as many of us who don’t feel like that at all, let alone feeling like wanting to pay our respects by attending some place.
> 
> I normally recoil at the term ‘silent majority’, being a right wing staple of the likes of the Daily Mail, but if there was ever a fitting scenario for that expression, this is it.


Yes. They reckon 32,000 people queued up to walk past the coffin, which is a pretty bonkers number. But the population of the greater Edinburgh area is 900,000-odd. So that's 868,000 people that reasonably could have, but _didn't_.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 13, 2022)

How easy would it have been for HRH Chucky to ask for donations to charity in lieu of a mawkish flower tower ? He missed a trick there with his new job as UK CEO. The twat


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

Gary Gibbon's C4News piece on the relationship of the English monarch with Ireland offered a slight diversion from the usual ex-regal guff on the news. The footage of the English queen flying over HMP Maze to gawp at the H blocks where republicans were bing interned at her pleasure was quite something:


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> How easy would it have been for HRH Chucky to ask for donations to charity in lieu of a mawkish flower tower ? He missed a trick there with his new job as UK CEO. The twat


Omit superfluous words, with my new technique.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> How easy would it have been for HRH Chucky to ask for donations to charity in lieu of a mawkish flower tower ? He missed a trick there with his new job as UK CEO. The twat



The spectacle is the point


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 13, 2022)

Thought sparked on the other thread: I wonder how many Queen Elizabeth II costumes we'll see this Hallowe'en


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Thought sparked on the other thread: I wonder how many Queen Elizabeth II costumes we'll see this Hallowe'en


She wore many clothes, so it would interesting to see how people would dress?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

Have we got a good list of Civil War era or republican/socialist films going yet? We need media.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Bingoman (Sep 13, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> View attachment 342638


That will give kids nighmares


----------



## RubyToogood (Sep 13, 2022)

Interesting. It was knitting group tonight and as we're a somewhat disparate bunch I was interested to see who'd turn out to be a republican and who a royalist. Nobody mentioned it at all. Not even in passing.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 13, 2022)

I'm warming to her 









						Queen Elizabeth 'loathed' Boris Johnson, report claims
					

THE late Queen “loathed” Boris Johnson, it has been claimed.




					www.thenational.scot


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


> View attachment 342646


The hot details..

The Independent (archive.ph)
Mail Online (archive.ph)


----------



## Wilf (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Technically Windsor or Mountbatten by marriage


Was she married twice?


----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Was she married twice?





> A few months before his marriage, Philip abandoned his princely titles and adopted the surname Mountbatten ( ... )
> Soon after Elizabeth became Queen in 1952, Lord Mountbatten observed that because it was the standard practice for the wife in a marriage to adopt her husband's surname, the House of Mountbatten now reigned. When Elizabeth's grandmother, Queen Mary, heard of this comment, she informed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and he later advised the Queen to issue a royal proclamation declaring that the royal house was to remain known as the House of Windsor. This she did on 9 April 1952, officially declaring it her "Will and Pleasure that I and My children shall be styled and known as the House and Family of Windsor, and that My descendants, other than female descendants who marry and their descendants, shall bear the name of Windsor."[8] Philip privately complained, "I am nothing but a bloody amoeba. I am the only man in the country not allowed to give his name to his own children."


House of Windsor - Wikipedia


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 14, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Yes. They reckon 32,000 people queued up to walk past the coffin, which is a pretty bonkers number. But the population of the greater Edinburgh area is 900,000-odd. So that's 868,000 people that reasonably could have, but _didn't_.


But out of that 32000 how many were tourists and out of towner's


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Was she married twice?


Sorry what I should of said Windsor by birth Mountbatten by marriage


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 14, 2022)

We deserve to be nuked.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 14, 2022)

That was made clear in 2016. But this has confirmed it.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 14, 2022)

More than half haven't


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 14, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> More than half haven't


It’s probably around 52/48 percent.


----------



## killer b (Sep 14, 2022)

it says in the article 44%, which isn't that close to half


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> It’s probably around 52/48 percent.


Settled for ever then. No debate permitted.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 14, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


> View attachment 342646


Or was it a snub to the queen with pearl necklace? As in I've got a pearl necklace and you haven't because you're dead


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

So. I book flights to escape this shit. Today. From Heathrow.



> *Flights at Heathrow airport will be delayed today* to ensure silence is observed in the skies as the ceremonial procession of the Queen’s coffin moves from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Hall.
> 
> This could mean some cancellations or flights being rescheduled between 1.50pm and 3.40pm, with further changes expected on the day of the funeral, Monday 19 September.
> 
> ...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> So. I book flights to escape this shit. Today. From Heathrow.


It's impossible to tell reality from clever satire these days


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> It's impossible to tell reality from clever satire these days



I mean. It's pretty funny in an objective way. There's literally no fucking escape from this old bag. She needs silence overhead while her rotting corpse is delivered to be gawped at by the peasants.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> I mean. It's pretty funny in an objective way. There's literally no fucking escape from this old bag. She needs silence overhead while her rotting corpse is delivered to be gawped at by the peasants.


It's real?


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> It's real?



Yes. My flights been cancelled.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Yes. My flights been cancelled.


For fucks sake


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Yes. My flights been cancelled.


Where were you going to go


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Where were you going to go



Stockholm. Random I know. Was gonna be thailand but couldnt sort enough leave out with work. I'm told by my friend in Stockholm though that union jacks are up there too.

Just want to miss the nonsense.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

Just a sample from the Guardian's live feed covering all the action... Just so fucking weird!!



> Marcia Lewis arrived on the train from Birmingham this morning and is one of many to assemble chairs behind the barriers on Mall Road from 7.30am, to watch as the procession makes its way to Westminster Hall later today.
> 
> “We just thought we wanted to be a part of history, we’ve never done this before,” said Lewis, 58.
> 
> ...


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Stockholm. Random I know. Was gonna be thailand but couldnt sort enough leave out with work. I'm told by my friend in Stockholm though that union jacks are up there too.
> 
> Just want to miss the nonsense.


I guess there wall to wall coverage their too


----------



## clicker (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Stockholm. Random I know. Was gonna be thailand but couldnt sort enough leave out with work. I'm told by my friend in Stockholm though that union jacks are up there too.
> 
> Just want to miss the nonsense.


I escaped the Queen mother's debacle by 'camping'  near Hastings. It rained on and off for days and the 'facilities' comprised of peeing in the woods in the middle of the night surrounded by donkeys. 

Can't believe they're closing the sky.


----------



## pesh (Sep 14, 2022)

Can confirm Heathrow is working as well as it ever has today.


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> Stockholm. Random I know. Was gonna be thailand but couldnt sort enough leave out with work. I'm told by my friend in Stockholm though that union jacks are up there too.
> 
> Just want to miss the nonsense.


Still time to get to Ireland (or I reckon very Welsh speaking parts of N Wales would be a decent shout too)


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

Had to track down multiple sources to convince my brother (whose a massive nerd about this stuff) they were fucking with the planes.


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Crossed into France for a day trip from Belgium. Not much here either . Although Paris Match have got a souvenir La Renne est Mort issue out.

#SmugGit


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Had to track down multiple sources to convince my brother (whose a massive nerd about this stuff) they were fucking with the planes.




One of the replies to that tweet...



Fair point. Anyway. Wales is sounding good   Surely she can't spread her tentacles there. Surely.


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> One of the replies to that tweet...
> 
> 
> 
> Fair point. Anyway. Wales is sounding good   Surely she can't spread her tentacles there. Surely.



Avoid Cardiff on Friday, you might be disappointed. But somewhere v Welsh speaking should be OK


----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Crossed into France for a day trip from Belgium. Not much here either . Although Paris Match have got a souvenir La Renne est Mort issue out.
> 
> #SmugGit


Wall to wall TV coverage.


----------



## Cerv (Sep 14, 2022)

Is this something mental that Heathrow management have chosen to do, or more likely the government have closed airspace over London so no poor dear has to cope with the horror of plane noise in the background?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Sue said:


> Wall to wall TV coverage.


If you thought it didn't get bad enough









						BBC to stream Queen Elizabeth II lying in state
					

The global streaming is for those wanting to pay their respects but are unable to travel to London.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

Why's there no webcam in the coffin? We need to see how the insects are getting on.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Why's there no webcam in the coffin? We need to see how the insects are getting on.


Shh dont give them ideas


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Why's there no webcam in the coffin? We need to see how the insects are getting on.




“Springwatch with Queen Elizabeth II”


----------



## spitfire (Sep 14, 2022)

Cerv said:


> Is this something mental that Heathrow management have chosen to do, or more likely the government have closed airspace over London so no poor dear has to cope with the horror of plane noise in the background?



Heathrow management by the looks of it. 





__





						Mourning and funeral of Her Majesty The Queen: Airspace restrictions - Airspace Safety
					

www.nats.aero/ais



					airspacesafety.com
				








__





						Loading…
					





					airspacesafety.com


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Heathrow management by the looks of it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I hope no one will call Mr c w Scott, the point of contact, on 03301-382997 to ask any tricky questions


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

She has left Buckingham palace for the last time


----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> She has left Buckingham palace for the last time


What's your point, caller?


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

For anyone following my travails trying to fly the fuck out out here. Well, theyve rescheduled me, im at Heathrow, been scouring the place for a Queen souvenir for my friend who is shattered by her death (hes fucking nuts), and bizarrely all the shops here have been told to remove anything with her image from the shelves in case people get upset by seeing her.

So. Yes. Fucked over again. Still. The Elizabeth line worked beautifully.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

The radio is saying hardly anyone has known any other sovereign. But we all have - the nefandous king charles iii,  the last of his name


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Sue said:


> What's your point, caller?


Just making obvious comment


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Just making obvious comment


That's a disappointment


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> That's a disappointment


Yep


----------



## extra dry (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> The radio is saying hardly anyone has known any other sovereign. But we all have - the nefandous king charles iii,  the last of his name


I heard they will have a day of official mourning every year, forever.  Everyone to wear black tie for a year and ban on music and late night openings


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 14, 2022)

WhyLikeThis said:


> View attachment 342705



I joked earlier on in this thread that I was going to limit my internetting to Urban, the Viz and Scarfolk Council until further notice, to get my fix of suitably disrespectful content.

Two of the three haven't disappointed. Still waiting for a take from the drunken bakers...


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

extra dry said:


> I heard they will have a day of official mourning every year, forever.  Everyone to wear black tie for a year and ban on music and late night openings


Anyone laughing or even smiling will be chastised


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> The radio is saying hardly anyone has known any other sovereign. But we all have - the nefandous king charles iii,  the last of his name



Normalise calling him 'King Charles the Last'


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Normalise calling him 'King Charles the Last'


Why?


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Why?


Because he should be the last.

Sorry, thought that was clear.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Because he should be the last.
> 
> Sorry, thought that was clear.


I meant why should he be the last?


----------



## Numbers (Sep 14, 2022)

Noncey looked to be getting a little shine on his forehead walking in the sun there.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 14, 2022)

Numbers said:


> Noncey looked to be getting a little shine on his forehead walking in the sun there.


Was he sweating?


----------



## Numbers (Sep 14, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Was he sweating?


They didn’t zoom in on him and he’s in the shade now, jammy noncey cunt.


----------



## Thaw (Sep 14, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> I joked earlier on in this thread that I was going to limit my internetting to Urban, the Viz and Scarfolk Council until further notice, to get my fix of suitably disrespectful content.
> 
> Two of the three haven't disappointed. Still waiting for a take from the drunken bakers...


will Viz have the "Broon Bread Windsors"?


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> For anyone following my travails trying to fly the fuck out out here. Well, theyve rescheduled me, im at Heathrow, been scouring the place for a Queen souvenir for my friend who is shattered by her death (hes fucking nuts), and bizarrely all the shops here have been told to remove anything with her image from the shelves in case people get upset by seeing her.
> 
> So. Yes. Fucked over again. Still. The Elizabeth line worked beautifully.



If you're flying to the US, you should be able to pick something up upon arrival.  It's all over here.


----------



## Curiouscarl (Sep 14, 2022)

Queens been dead since, 24 November 1991.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> I meant why should he be the last?



Because there shouldn't be any more of them.

Not sure where you're finding the lack of clarity in my position here.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Losing track of these mad build-up days...they just said on R6 News that there'd been another fucking service today about Lying-in day or something? When the fuck is actual boxing day?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Because there shouldn't be any more of them.
> 
> Not sure where you're finding the lack of clarity in my position here.


You do realise that the royal family bring in the tourists  and the money very year by opening Windsor and Buckingham palace


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> You do realise that the royal family bring in the tourists  and the money very year by opening Windsor and Buckingham palace



I feel sorry for the ticket guy at Versailles. Just forlornly sitting there, day after day, hoping this might be the day someone finally comes to buy a ticket from him.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Shh dont give them ideas


I'm not sure they need any prompting. They're probably already halfway through the eardrums.


----------



## souljacker (Sep 14, 2022)

I watched a bit of it this afternoon. Probably the only 'official mourning' thing I've watched so far. It's very odd. What annoyed me most is that they seemed to take a stupid route to the abbey. A quick stroll ended up being a really really long walk. 

Also gutted that no-one dropped the coffin and none of the horses bolted or did a big shit.


----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> You do realise that the royal family bring in the tourists  and the money very year by opening Windsor and Buckingham palace


You seem quite a fan. Why?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> You do realise that the royal family bring in the tourists  and the money very year by opening Windsor and Buckingham palace


You tool.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> You do realise that the royal family bring in the tourists  and the money very year by opening Windsor and Buckingham palace



Oh, right - sorry, I hadn't realised you were trolling


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Sue said:


> You seem quite a fan. Why?


Brought up on the support for the royal fanily


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

Good to see that Prince Paedo was still not allowed to wear a uniform in Westminster Hall just now. Probably the worst humiliation of his life. How can he stand it? I'm actually surprised he hasn't topped himself.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

souljacker said:


> I watched a bit of it this afternoon. Probably the only 'official mourning' thing I've watched so far. It's very odd. What annoyed me most is that they seemed to take a stupid route to the abbey. A quick stroll ended up being a really really long walk.
> 
> Also gutted that no-one dropped the coffin and none of the horses bolted or did a big shit.



As a wag on one of the cricket sites commented, it's a shame the South African side weren't carrying it. Makes more sense if you follow cricket.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> You tool.


Oh thank you,,I been called many thing but that a first  

I'm happy to be called that and I hope who ever else insults me is polite😂


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Oh, right - sorry, I hadn't realised you were trolling


Trolling no a tool yes


----------



## moochedit (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> You do realise that the royal family bring in the tourists  and the money very year by opening Windsor and Buckingham palace


I've never heard that argument before. Thanks you've really made me re-think my republican views and i'm now a monarchist. God save the king!


----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Brought up on the support for the royal fanily


And you still support them now you're an adult? Why?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Sue said:


> And you still support them now you're an adult? Why?


Tool


----------



## littlebabyjesus (Sep 14, 2022)

Few people think to visit Paris, tbf. Nobody's interested in ex-palaces like the Louvre.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

The muppets shouting God Save the King at Charles' car...what's wrong with them? Too much Game of Thrones? Maybe it's the combo of GoT, The Crown, Bridgerton and Brexit. It's a mass delusion.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Brought up on the support for the royal fanily



I was brought up on the banks of the Tyne - doesn't mean I'm obliged to join Lindisfarne.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 14, 2022)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Few people think to visit Paris, tbf. Nobody's interested in ex-palaces like the Louvre.


You should see Angkor Wat in Cambodia, it’s so deserted it’s practically overgrown


----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Few people think to visit Paris, tbf. Nobody's interested in ex-palaces like the Louvre.


The silent streets of Paris. The Mona Lisa all alone and unloved.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

moochedit said:


> I've never heard that argument before. Thanks you've really made me re-think my republican views and i'm now a monarchist. God save the king!


Hold yer horses; what if I told you that Versailles pulls in more € than the £ pulled in by all the monarchical residences combined? Could I possibly draw you back to republicanism?


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 14, 2022)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Few people think to visit Paris, tbf. Nobody's interested in ex-palaces like the Louvre.


Yeah. Versailles may as well be knocked down, dusty, neglected dump that it is.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

The economic metrics all favour the guillotine.


----------



## editor (Sep 14, 2022)

Green Park is fucking weird.. I don't think I can stand any more


----------



## souljacker (Sep 14, 2022)

It always amazes me when people say they are going on holiday to New York. Why would you go somewhere that hasn't got a King or a Queen? It's definitely the only reason to go on holiday somewhere. I've visited Amsterdam many times and the only reason was because the dutch have a queen.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Fucking monarchists coming on this thread causing upset; they need to button they lickspittle lips and SHOW SUM RESPECT 😡


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

editor said:


> Green Park is fucking weird.. I don't think I can stand any more
> 
> View attachment 342723


That's a pity because there's lots more to come


----------



## Wilf (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> “Springwatch with Queen Elizabeth II”


Splutter.


----------



## Kevbad the Bad (Sep 14, 2022)

I only ever go to countries which either have a monarchy, have had a monarchy or might do in the future.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 14, 2022)

I only go to countries that have executed a monarch.


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> You do realise that the royal family bring in the tourists  and the money very year by opening Windsor and Buckingham palace



The palace of Versaille gets plenty of tourists, and we all know what happened to the residents.


----------



## JimW (Sep 14, 2022)

I live in one where the palace eunuchs used to off the heir so their favoured concubine could exercise regency for a toddler and give plum jobs to the family.


----------



## smmudge (Sep 14, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Why's there no webcam in the coffin? We need to see how the insects are getting on.



Fully hatched by now I'm sure


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 14, 2022)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> I feel sorry for the ticket guy at Versailles. Just forlornly sitting there, day after day, hoping this might be the day someone finally comes to buy a ticket from him.


The day the Q's went to Versailles it was rammed jam packed even though it had been over two hundred years since Louis's noggin was chopped off, clearly our Tourism Board could learn from the French one.


----------



## Dystopiary (Sep 14, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> I joked earlier on in this thread that I was going to limit my internetting to Urban, the Viz and Scarfolk Council until further notice, to get my fix of suitably disrespectful content.
> 
> Two of the three haven't disappointed. Still waiting for a take from the drunken bakers...


Their creator definitely hasn't on twitter. Thought this was the best of his recent typically bitter posts.


----------



## Numbers (Sep 14, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Oh thank you,,I been called many thing but that a first
> 
> I'm happy to be called that and I hope who ever else insults me is polite😂


‘Swiss Army Tool’ would be a good insult, a tool on multiple levels.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

souljacker said:


> It always amazes me when people say they are going on holiday to New York. Why would you go somewhere that hasn't got a King or a Queen? It's definitely the only reason to go on holiday somewhere. I've visited Amsterdam many times and the only reason was because the dutch have a queen.



I'm sure they go to visit Trump Tower, the closest thing in the US to an actual palace.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

i wonder to what extent the national grief is less to do with the extinction of the abominable elizabeth and more to do with repugnance at her vile son


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 14, 2022)

Raheem said:


> I only go to countries that have executed a monarch.


I shall holiday in the UK in anticipation then of such a day


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I shall holiday in the UK in anticipation then of such a day


30.1.1649 passed you by entirely then

i'm sure if you run through the history of the british empire you'll find that charles i not the only monarch to have been executed by the british - but the spanish, for example, famously executed the inca atahualpa so you can holiday in spain and peru according to the terms of your stricture


----------



## Weller (Sep 14, 2022)

McDonald's to close for Queen's funeral on Monday





Monday is a McDonalds once a week  treat for me after a shit day at work then down the local pub bar feeding the  the juke box but thats been switched off till next tuesday along with all  sport including pool table so a bit miffed that its going to be a really crap Monday even without work , its like everything we could otherwise do is being cancelled

Pizza Express will be open I expect if HE gets hungry on the way home


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Maybe it's the Bishops, but I'll say one thing (& 1 thing only) for Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg & Gotha...she hung on until blustercunt was history; fair play.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Looks like they've mostly joined the RAF today.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 14, 2022)

I was talking to a colleague earlier about the fuss , then about all the Harry & Meghan hate . And we fantasised about an "accident" which  involved the majority of the heirs , which ended with Harry & Meghan announcing to the world, We are King & Queen , bitches .


----------



## editor (Sep 14, 2022)

Weller said:


> McDonald's to close for Queen's funeral on Monday
> 
> View attachment 342729
> 
> ...


Personally I'd wish McDonalds closed down for every day of the week.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

editor said:


> Personally I'd wish McDonalds closed down for every day of the week.


I agree with that, but then again, I can still (just about) afford to use an oven.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 14, 2022)

People have gone completely bonkers.  Honestly, I despair.


----------



## bmd (Sep 14, 2022)

BBC now being referred to as MournHub lol


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

marty21 said:


> I was talking to a colleague earlier about the fuss , then about all the Harry & Meghan hate . And we fantasised about an "accident" which  involved the majority of the heirs , which ended with Harry & Meghan announcing to the world, We are King & Queen , bitches .



Aye, if I were religious I'd be praying for a meteor hitting the funeral on Monday.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 14, 2022)

I mean we all expected absurdity when this happened, but the endless reporting of what the coffin is up to now has gone beyond the absurd into the downright insane. I'm not reading any of the articles or watching live coverage but my god, these are sentient human beings producing this content. I don't know how they can stand it.  What did you do today dad? I spent four hours waiting around in the rain to take a photo of a box getting loaded onto a plane. Why did you that dad? So help me Christ I have no fucking idea.


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 14, 2022)

It's been a great few days to be out of the UK.


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Looks like they've mostly joined the RAF today.
> 
> View attachment 342733


So the two not in uniform are the only two who have actually been on a tour of duty with the armed forces?


----------



## souljacker (Sep 14, 2022)

tommers said:


> So the two not in uniform are the only two who have actually been on a tour of duty with the armed forces?


The only two who have actually seen action I believe.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 14, 2022)

Numbers said:


> ‘Swiss Army Tool’ would be a good insult, a tool on multiple levels.


There is many thing on them too 😂


----------



## moochedit (Sep 14, 2022)

souljacker said:


> It always amazes me when people say they are going on holiday to New York. Why would you go somewhere that hasn't got a King or a Queen? It's definitely the only reason to go on holiday somewhere. I've visited Amsterdam many times and the only reason was because the dutch have a queen.



I mean if Spain abolished their monarchy, their tourism would collapse overnight!


----------



## moochedit (Sep 14, 2022)

Weller said:


> McDonald's to close for Queen's funeral on Monday
> 
> View attachment 342729
> 
> ...



They open at 5pm.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 14, 2022)

30 hours possible Q. If there’s urbans in the Q, please give us regular updates


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

Shocking neglect of the public purse that the meet 'n greet with the corpse doesn't have a premium VIP lane or a selfie option.


----------



## clicker (Sep 14, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> 30 hours possible Q. If there’s urbans in the Q, please give us regular updates


The queues at Euro Disney 10 years ago are still etched into my psyche and at least we got to go on Space Mountain at the end.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 14, 2022)

Weller said:


> McDonald's to close for Queen's funeral on Monday
> 
> View attachment 342729
> 
> ...



Burger King, meanwhile, is rebranding itself Burger God Save the King, and KFC says its initials now stand for King Fucking Charles.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 14, 2022)

Greggs closing too


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

It's all pretty funny. I'm a gallows humour kinda chap, but this is fucking hilarious. It barely rains for months then pisses down the night loads of fucking weirdos decide to line up to look at a box, in tears at the 'selflessness' of a woman who's property folio alone is worth £17bn. Still, at least they got to turn the leccy off while they did their 30 hour wait. What a weird, weird country.


----------



## BCBlues (Sep 14, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Shocking neglect of the public purse that the meet 'n greet with the corpse doesn't have a premium VIP lane or a selfie option.



There would have been if Johnson and Hancock were still about


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

Fucking idiots queuing for 30 hours to look at a box containing the corpse of someone they didn't know. Christ on a bike. They should all be disqualified from voting for life. Swap them for the people crossing the Channel in rubber boats. Send them to Rwanda.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

nope


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> The muppets shouting God Save the King at Charles' car...what's wrong with them? Too much Game of Thrones? Maybe it's the combo of GoT, The Crown, Bridgerton and Brexit. It's a mass delusion.


TBF if Charles turned up at Westminster hall riding a dragon I'd review my decision to watch...


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I shall holiday in the UK in anticipation then of such a day


We already have  (a few times actually) not just the formal time in 1649...


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> We already have  (a few times actually) not just the formal time in 1649...



George V* so he wouldn’t be relegated to the tabloids and made the Times deadline…

*one of the George’s anyway, I don’t know how many we’ve had. Or care.


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

"Most took one last look back at the coffin before they left the hall. The mourners obediently followed the instruction to stay quiet as they made their way through the hall. "

What did the Guardian think would happen? That a Mexican mariachi band would whip out their instruments as they filed past?


----------



## maomao (Sep 14, 2022)

If we really wanted to make money out of the royals we could do public executions at Wembley and charge for the tickets. And once Buck Pal's empty the queue'll move a bit faster cause the whole lot'll be empty.


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Live Steam here... HTH.









						Watch: Queen Elizabeth II lying-in-state - BBC News
					

A dedicated stream of the Queen lying in state in Westminster Hall




					www.bbc.com


----------



## Petcha (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> "Most took one last look back at the coffin before they left the hall. The mourners obediently followed the instruction to stay quiet as they made their way through the hall. "
> 
> What did the Guardian think would happen? That a Mexican mariachi band would whip out their instruments as they filed past?



The thing is - apparently this gonna be a 24 hour thing for the next few nights. So I assume there's gonna be at least a few louts who decide to go down there off their faces at 4am in the morning and send their farewells


----------



## teqniq (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Live Steam here... HTH.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Dead stream, surely.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Live Steam here... HTH.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


click bait, isn't it?
BBC can then brag about the click statistics.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 14, 2022)

Too soon. She had a family and loved ones. Have some respect


----------



## weltweit (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Live Steam here... HTH.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I took a look, don't know what I was expecting .. not the most exciting live stream


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> We already have  (a few times actually) not just the formal time in 1649...


1587 - Mary Queen of Scots


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Too soon. She had a family and loved ones. Have some respect


I hope you're feeling better soon


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> 1587 - Mary Queen of Scots



King Edmund of East Anglia executed by the Danes of the Great Heathen Army  20 November 869.

Obvs.


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

I’m actually quite fascinated by the live stream. I may not be able to stop watching till Monday. Proper slow telly…


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 14, 2022)

'Lying in state' is an anagram for 'tiny genitals'.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 14, 2022)

When you're standing in line for 30 hours to look at some dead bint in a box, are you allowed to leave your spot in the line to go take a piss or do you just piss yourself where you stand?


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> When you're standing in line for 30 hours to look at some dead bint in a box, are you allowed to leave your spot in the line to go take a piss or do you just piss yourself where you stand?


They appear to get yellow numbered wrist bands to mark your place in the queue.

So a bit like Alton Tours, although you probably don’t get your photo taken like on the log flume on the way out…


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Live Steam here... HTH.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Brenda's certainly attracted a very diverse crowd of white people.


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> "Most took one last look back at the coffin before they left the hall. The mourners obediently followed the instruction to stay quiet as they made their way through the hall. "
> 
> What did the Guardian think would happen? That a Mexican mariachi band would whip out their instruments as they filed past?



I. Would. Pay. To. See. That...


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Brenda's certainly attracted a very diverse crowd of white people.


So, you are hooked on it too…


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> George V* so he wouldn’t be relegated to the tabloids and made the Times deadline…
> 
> *one of the George’s anyway, I don’t know how many we’ve had. Or care.




Edward II 21 September 1327 - red hot poker pushed up his arse.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> I’m actually quite fascinated by the live stream. I may not be able to stop watching till Monday. Proper slow telly…


Years back i used to do a pub quiz up in archway. One day the landlord rigged up a video camera so he could be broadcast round the pub when asking the questions. It just showed a spot by the front door, but I found myself drawn to the TV stream although I was sitting right by the door myself


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Edward Ii 21 September 1327 - red hot poker pushed up his arse.


Edward 2 not Edward 51


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Edward II 21 September 1327 - red hot poker pushed up his arse.




Don’t kink shame


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Edward 2 not Edward 51



Edward 51st will be flung into a black hole in the Horse Head Nebula by the Iggli Wigglys of Omicron 7.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Henry VI executed in Tower of London 24 May 1471.


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

Lady Jane Grey executed 12 February 1524.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> "Most took one last look back at the coffin before they left the hall. The mourners obediently followed the instruction to stay quiet as they made their way through the hall. "
> 
> What did the Guardian think would happen? That a Mexican mariachi band would whip out their instruments as they filed past?



Usually there's nothing that makes my heart sink quite like a group of white British people getting ready to do the conga. This may be the one occasion when I'd have enjoyed it.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 14, 2022)

Petcha said:


> The thing is - apparently this gonna be a 24 hour thing for the next few nights. So I assume there's gonna be at least a few louts who decide to go down there off their faces at 4am in the morning and send their farewells


they should put her coffin in a perspex box. 
I have a memory of meeting some mates buying all the eggs in a petrol station as they were driving down to see David Blaine in a perspex box by the river.


----------



## mx wcfc (Sep 14, 2022)

William II (William Rufus).  Officially a hunting accident, but more likely he was bumped off by his brother,


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

Edward v, supposed to have been killed by Richard iii


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Lady Jane Grey executed 12 February 1524.


You're only out by 29 years and 5 months


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> They appear to get yellow numbered wrist bands to mark your place in the queue.
> 
> So a bit like Alton Tours, although you probably don’t get your photo taken like on the log flume on the way out…


They missed a money-spinner trick there; photo opportunity with the regal cadaver


----------



## moochedit (Sep 14, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> William II (William Rufus).  Officially a hunting accident, but more likely he was bumped off by his brother,


Can't we get all the queen's offspring to have a celebrity deathmatch to win the thrown?


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 14, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> William II (William Rufus).  Officially a hunting accident, but more likely he was bumped off by his brother,



That was Robert Baratheon.


----------



## mx wcfc (Sep 14, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> That was Robert Baratheon.


My books have Walter Tirel as the hunter in question. William de Mountford is the earliest source of that name, so far as I am aware.


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 14, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Too soon. She had a family and loved ones. Have some respect



I half agree, but the outpouring of emotion for someone who lived a long and very privileged life and who will have a stupidly indulgent send-off versus the number of ordinary citizens of this country who will be thrown to the wolves this winter by the upper class can't sit right, surely?


----------



## rubbershoes (Sep 14, 2022)

Probably been mentioned before but I've heard Chuck referred to as King Prince Charles

I quite like that


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 14, 2022)

A right Charlie


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 14, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Edward 2 not Edward 51


Edward 51 was of course the main nightclub used by the Plantagenets


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

mx wcfc said:


> My books have Walter Tirel as the hunter in question. William de Mountford is the earliest source of that name, so far as I am aware.


Next you will be telling us he didn’t kill the king with a dragon…


----------



## A380 (Sep 14, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Can't we get all the queen's offspring to have a celebrity deathmatch to win the thrown?


It would obviously be Ann. No question.


----------



## mx wcfc (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> Next you will be telling us he didn’t kill the king with a dragon…


Walter, in the Forest, with an arrow.....


----------



## editor (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## editor (Sep 14, 2022)

It's like stepping into your own costume drama!



(Pic: Sarah Lee


----------



## mx wcfc (Sep 14, 2022)

editor said:


> It's like stepping into your own costume drama!
> 
> View attachment 342783
> 
> (Pic: Sarah Lee


I'm disappointed.  Couldn't you get a press pass?  

But yeah, agreed.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Brenda's certainly attracted a very diverse crowd of white people.



I noticed that too.  There's also a lot of extremely elderly people.  What's the demographics of London?


----------



## marty21 (Sep 14, 2022)

Epona said:


> Aye, if I were religious I'd be praying for a meteor hitting the funeral on Monday.


A small meteor, we don't want one like the one that killed the dinosaurs.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

weltweit said:


> I took a look, don't know what I was expecting .. not the most exciting live stream



It was pretty wild earlier.  There was an elderly guardsman that looked like he was going to topple over.


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

marty21 said:


> A small meteor, we don't want one like the one that killed the dinosaurs.



Yeah just enough to take out a load of royals, prominent Tories, peers of the realm, and assorted hangers-on, not an extinction-level event (for the rest of us at least!)


----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

Epona said:


> Yeah just enough to take out a load of royals, prominent Tories, peers of the realm, and assorted hangers-on, not an extinction-level event (for the rest of us at least!)


Something Guy Fawksie


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

I'm a little surprised by how lax the security is.  There's tons of people going through with backpacks.  I'd think that would be the first thing they'd ban.  I guess the queen is safe enough being kept in a lead lined box, and well... being dead already.


----------



## mx wcfc (Sep 14, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I'm a little surprised by how lax the security is.  There's tons of people going through with backpacks.  I'd think that would be the first thing they'd ban.  I guess the queen is safe enough being kept in a lead lined box, and well... being dead already.


Pretty sure there's airport style security before they get that far.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

Is the queue on closed roads? Or can we cycle past it wearing nothing but bunting, blowing an air horn?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

David Clapson said:


> Is the queue on closed roads? Or can we cycle past it wearing nothing but bunting, blowing an air horn?



How are you blowing the horn


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

A380 said:


> I’m actually quite fascinated by the live stream. I may not be able to stop watching till Monday. Proper slow telly…



I will admit that you'all have a talent for pageantry.


----------



## David Clapson (Sep 14, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I'm a little surprised by how lax the security is.  There's tons of people going through with backpacks.  I'd think that would be the first thing they'd ban.  I guess the queen is safe enough being kept in a lead lined box, and well... being dead already.


Maybe the official  fear of backpacks has lessened. Nobody seems to be making b*mbs any more. It's all knives. Perhaps b*mb ingredients are too difficult to buy these days.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 14, 2022)

editor said:


> It's like stepping into your own costume drama!



complete with silent tribute to ronnie barker





Yuwipi Woman said:


> I noticed that too. There's also a lot of extremely elderly people. What's the demographics of London?



some stats here

there's a chunk of older people in london who bought their homes some time ago and can afford to stay living there, there's also another chunk of older people who lived in london, have cashed in on their homes and moved out to the 'home counties' (the counties surrounding london)

other question is which age groups are more pro-monarchy / pro-this sort of thing 

and haven't got to worry about being at work either today or tomorrow, or doing child care


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 14, 2022)

Thank you for your self service ma’am


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I noticed that too.  There's also a lot of extremely elderly people.  What's the demographics of London?



I think as Puddy_Tat mentioned above, who else has time on a weekday to queue for that long?  It's likely to be skewed towards people who are retired IMO.


----------



## Humberto (Sep 14, 2022)

Epona said:


> I think as Puddy_Tat mentioned above, who else has time on a weekday to queue for that long?


Tories?


----------



## Humberto (Sep 14, 2022)

Self flagellation, close minded, form an orderly queue.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

Epona said:


> I think as Puddy_Tat mentioned above, who else has time on a weekday to queue for that long?  It's likely to be skewed towards people who are retired IMO.



That makes perfect sense.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 14, 2022)

If they're prepared to queue all night in the pissing rain, how about they all make a donation to a homeless charity. Or am I asking too much ?


----------



## Raheem (Sep 15, 2022)

not a trot said:


> If they're prepared to queue all night in the pissing rain, how about they all make a donation to a homeless charity. Or am I asking too much ?


They're making a significant contribution to a family who would otherwise be homeless.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 15, 2022)

not a trot said:


> If they're prepared to queue all night in the pissing rain, how about they all make a donation to a homeless charity. Or am I asking too much ?



i think it's considered unpatriotic and disloyal (or something like that) to ask that.

like asking whether people wouldn't have been better making a donation to a charity that does something useful rather than buying flowers to put outside the palace/ castle / local town hall


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 15, 2022)

.


----------



## Epona (Sep 15, 2022)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> .


Oh aye, I mean I've always tended to work "office hours", but my OH has always been on shift work - either irregular shift patterns or night shifts, I don't think he's ever had a guaranteed weekend off in his life!

But... I think in general there are sections of society that are more likely to have time to queue for potentially more than a day to shuffle past a box, and people who are retired are more likely to have that sort of availability, or more able to make that sort of gap in their calendar at fairly short notice for something they want to do.


----------



## StakerOne (Sep 15, 2022)

not a trot said:


> If they're prepared to queue all night in the pissing rain, how about they all make a donation to a homeless charity. Or am I asking too much ?


You're asking too much. My pet cause is more important than yours, because naturally of course, I'm more important and than you.

Come on, surely you concede that because your opinions are different than mine, its you that has to be morally inferior?


----------



## StakerOne (Sep 15, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i think it's considered unpatriotic and disloyal (or something like that) to ask that.
> 
> like asking whether people wouldn't have been better making a donation to a charity that does something useful rather than buying flowers to put outside the palace/ castle / local town hall


I've just interviewed 2000 of them. They all said "Fuck off! We never give to charity, but we might if you redouble your efforts to patronise us about our morality, values and priorities."


----------



## Raheem (Sep 15, 2022)

StakerOne said:


> I've just interviewed 2000 of them. They all said "Fuck off! We never give to charity, but we might if you redouble your efforts to patronise us about our morality, values and priorities."


Patronising someone is offering them some kind of support or solidarity in a way that betrays your feeling of superiority. Saying straight up that they're fucking ridiculous is in no way patronising.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 15, 2022)

Raheem said:


> Patronising someone is offering them some kind of support or solidarity in a way that betrays your feeling of superiority. Saying straight up that they're fucking ridiculous is in no way patronising.


I am sorry that Raheem had to publicly correct you like this StakerOne, but perhaps at least you understand the concept of patronising a bit better now?

See how it's done?


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 15, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Usually there's nothing that makes my heart sink quite like a group of white British people getting ready to do the conga. This may be the one occasion when I'd have enjoyed it.


They could all do a Mexican wave from back to front and back again. It'll help them all with their circulation and keep them awake.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 15, 2022)

not a trot said:


> If they're prepared to queue all night in the pissing rain, how about they all make a donation to a homeless charity. Or am I asking too much ?


It's not really a question of too much, is it? It's like being given a puppy to cuddle and asking why it isn't a larger slice of battenburg cake. This behaviour's not about sensible, practical reasoning about how we should behave - a magically appointed special old lady died and that's what matters.


----------



## teqniq (Sep 15, 2022)

Saw this yesterday. Pretty disgusting behaviour on the part of the club tbh:


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 15, 2022)

editor said:


> It's like stepping into your own costume drama!
> 
> View attachment 342783
> 
> (Pic: Sarah Lee


The thigh boots and the helmets with unnaturally coloured ponytails are rather close to the kind of thing Cher wears on stage.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Sep 15, 2022)

editor said:


> View attachment 342782
> 
> 
> View attachment 342780
> View attachment 342781


Almost makes me want to join the queue.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 15, 2022)

Q is at borough market now.

Mental


----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 15, 2022)

A380 said:


> Live Steam here... HTH.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


To be fair, Andy Warhol did this sort of thing better.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 15, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> The thigh boots and the helmets with unnaturally coloured ponytails are rather close to the kind of thing Cher wears on stage.



The ones with the fuzzy felt topknots look like steampunk muppets.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 15, 2022)

This is fucking insane. 
Imagine if this had happened during the 40 degree heatwave. That'd sort the wheat from the chaff


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 15, 2022)

not a trot said:


> If they're prepared to queue all night in the pissing rain, how about they all make a donation to a homeless charity. Or am I asking too much ?


Was it raining last night down there in Londinium then? I've checked the weather forecast for London for the next few days and sadly alas for a low chance of a few spots today it looks like it is going to stay dry all the way to Monday


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 15, 2022)

editor said:


> View attachment 342782
> 
> 
> View attachment 342780
> View attachment 342781




Anyone able to put this into one image? I’m at work.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## steveo87 (Sep 15, 2022)

Good news, it's been arranged with MRS o87 that I can be 'somewhere else' for the funeral. 
Anyone in N. Somerset up for a knees up?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 15, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


>




from the thread link above


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 15, 2022)

The Guardian has published this from its archive (20s is 20 shillings, for you younger readers)




> Man who broke the silence fined
> 18 February 1952
> 
> Anthony George, 26, of Fontaine Road, Streatham, who was said to have not observed the two minutes’ silence on Friday, was fined 20s at Guildhall magistrates court yesterday for insulting behaviour. He said: “There was no political motive. I objected to the commercialism of the King’s funeral. That is why I did not observe the silence. I did not realise it would infuriate people.” PC Eric Rolfe said that George walked up Fleet Street and made unnecessary noise with his feet. The crowd got angry.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 15, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> This is fucking insane.
> Imagine if this had happened during the 40 degree heatwave. That'd sort the wheat from the chaff



Would have been spectacular if one person swooned and they all went down like dominoes.


----------



## T & P (Sep 15, 2022)

Seems that Celtic fans ruffled a few feathers yesterday, though the 'fury' seems to be mostly confined to the tabloid press so far...


----------



## A380 (Sep 15, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman is this what Q anon was actually about all that time?


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 15, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> This is fucking insane.
> Imagine if this had happened during the 40 degree heatwave. That'd sort the wheat from the chaff



They're already dropping over.  I saw one weaving a bit.  This one actually did topple over.



How embarrassing is that?  Thing is, I think they switch out every 15 minutes.  (I think to give them all a chance to say they attended the queen to her last, or some such).


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 15, 2022)

A380 said:


> Yuwipi Woman is this what Q anon was actually about all that time?



They've managed to mash up nearly everything together from JFK, Princess Di, to Marilyn Monroe.  At the moment they seem to be fascinated with arrests in a prostitution ring in Florida that netted everything from Deputy Sheriffs to schoolteachers.  Naturally this fits right in with their idea that teachers are "grooming" students.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 15, 2022)

Some people think Warhammer 40k is a fascist adjacent adolescent power fantasy and an excuse to part parents with huge sums of money.

I'm no longer certain. The fiction has nothing on this dystopian reality

Yes I posted this


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Sep 15, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Q is at borough market now.
> 
> Mental


Brilliant!!! Almost by my old house. 
I think I am going to go for a run alongside the length of it this Saturday or Sunday . . . . how long is the box viewing queue there for?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 15, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> Q is at borough market now.
> 
> Mental


The Q is part of the London Marathon route I think?


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 15, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> The Q is part of the London Marathon route I think?


yes, the queue's maximum  length is expected to be 26 miles 385 yards


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 15, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> yes, the queue's maximum  length is expected to be 26 miles 385 yards


And someone is queuing in a deep sea divers suit


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 15, 2022)

This is how black holes start to form. 


Soon all of London will be part of the Queue, the Britain, then Europe and before you know it singularity time


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 15, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> And someone is queuing in a deep sea divers suit


I think getting through serciuty will be a problem


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 15, 2022)

If too many people stand on the south bank, will it not collapse into the river?


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 15, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> If too many people stand on the south bank, will it not collapse into the river?


Not unless your jumping up and down constantly


----------



## A380 (Sep 15, 2022)

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid027v2vYAFS6YfWW8qDaP9orAd873GVmKKYkAWKRneA7UTUBjwhEpSrSinwTkTvpuj9l&id=157809760916130


----------



## elbows (Sep 15, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> They're already dropping over.  I saw one weaving a bit.  This one actually did topple over.
> 
> 
> 
> How embarrassing is that?  Thing is, I think they switch out every 15 minutes.  (I think to give them all a chance to say they attended the queen to her last, or some such).



I saw that live because I was checking how long the gap was between rotating those staff at the time, seemed more like 20 minutes.

Anyway they had two prior opportunities to stop him falling off the platform in that way. In the minute before that fall, which happened during the changeover, he had already staggered to the side once, then staggered more severely to the side and off the platform, but he kept going back. Officials saw both of those and didnt intervene, they let him stand there for another ~20-30 seconds before that far more dramatic forwards fall happened, and only then rushed in. The live feed was then cut for some minutes.

All of these clockwork automaton impersonations seem absurd anyway at the best of times, but even more so when something like that happens.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 15, 2022)

elbows said:


> I saw that live because I was checking how long the gap was between rotating those staff at the time, seemed more like 20 minutes.
> 
> Anyway they had two prior opportunities to stop him falling off the platform in that way. In the minute before that fall, which happened during the changeover, he had already staggered to the side once, then staggered more severely to the side and off the platform, but he kept going back. Officials saw both of those and didnt intervene, they let him stand there for another ~20-30 seconds before that far more dramatic forwards fall happened, and only then rushed in. The live feed was then cut for some minutes.
> 
> All of these clockwork automaton impersonations seem absurd anyway at the best of times, but even more so when something like that happens.



Twenty minutes seems about right.  I don't think that standing that still for any length of time is natural for the human body.  It's designed to move, not tighten up like that for an extended time.  In addition, I'm wondering if they'd called in some retired people to help.  A lot of those guards look well past their prime.  When I was running events, I used to "award" prestigious events to people who had performed for me in the past.  (Sometimes I made sure they got the leftover alcohol to take home too.)  I wonder if that's what's happening there.


----------



## elbows (Sep 15, 2022)

Yeah I dont really know how the whole guards things work in terms of roles for people who have at least reached the stage where their hair is rather white. I dont know what the different hats mean either - he was in the first batch of those who had that sort of cap on that hour, having replaced a series of people with the hats that make them look like they are part of some elaborate curtain cords.

As for the exact timing of changeovers, the whole thing is rather drawn out so they might start the process every 15 minutes but by the time the new ones have lurched into position and the old ones departed, it takes more like 20. They rotate the police with a similar sort of frequency too.

I could easily imagine falling down if I had to remain motionless like that. My mum also said she'd read that they had been up real early that morning rehearsing too, though whether that applied to that batch of people I cannot say.

This is what happens when I allow myself to observe this sort of tedious spectacle, I get into tedious detail! But I clearly didnt feel compelled to research the hats properly.

The only other thing out of the dull routine that happened while I was watching was that someone in the queue got way closer than normal to her coffin and left something that I couldnt identify on the steps leading up to it. Nobody reacted.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 15, 2022)

elbows said:


> This is what happens when I allow myself to observe this sort of tedious spectacle, I get into tedious detail!



Yep.  It is a good opportunity to people watch, however scripted this event is.



> The only other thing out of the dull routine that happened while I was watching was that someone in the queue got way closer than normal to her coffin and left something that I couldnt identify on the steps leading up to it. Nobody reacted.



I saw an older gentleman that looked like an old warhorse straight from central casting, complete with red beret slung at a jaunty angle.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 15, 2022)

Soldiers faint on parade quite a lot. Even the young fit ones. 

Bound to happen in that environment. 

He proper face planted there. Looked sore.


----------



## A380 (Sep 15, 2022)

elbows said:


> Yeah I dont really know how the whole guards things work in terms of roles for people who have at least reached the stage where their hair is rather white. I dont know what the different hats mean either - he was in the first batch of those who had that sort of cap on that hour, having replaced a series of people with the hats that make them look like they are part of some elaborate curtain cords.
> 
> As for the exact timing of changeovers, the whole thing is rather drawn out so they might start the process every 15 minutes but by the time the new ones have lurched into position and the old ones departed, it takes more like 20. They rotate the police with a similar sort of frequency too.
> 
> ...



I used to work with a guy who was in  the Queen’s ceremonial body guard. They are the chaps dressed up like ‘beefeaters’ - Yeaoman Warders at the Tower* ie with the Tudor hats with flowers. It’s a volunteer role open to people who were senior NCOs in the uk forces ( I think , maybe retired officers can do it too?). He wasn’t a flag shagger but was a royalist but mostly did it because he got some pretty good trips out of it.


* I think the Yeoman Warders get paid along with accommodation at the Tower of London. But the then they basically work as full time tour guides. The selection criteria is similar, retired senior NCOs.


----------



## Cadmus (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## A380 (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 15, 2022)

A380 said:


> View attachment 342925




Phwoar.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 16, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


>



look like Madame Tussauds wax figures


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 16, 2022)

day 8 news headlines  queen still dead


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 16, 2022)

When does “it’s too soon” stop?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 16, 2022)

Asking for a friend of left persuasion


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 16, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> When does “it’s too soon” stop?


Next tuesday


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 16, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> When does “it’s too soon” stop?



maybe some time a year or two after big ears' silver jubilee

unless he snuffs it first in which case the clock re-sets

hope that helps


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 16, 2022)

See you next Tuesday then. On the other side


----------



## Santino (Sep 16, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> See you next Tuesday


Same to you!


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 16, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> See you next Tuesday then. On the other side


That's nice


----------



## Raheem (Sep 16, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> When does “it’s too soon” stop?


When "It's too late" begins.


----------



## stavros (Sep 16, 2022)

Are we sure she's dead? Might she have drunk a whole bottle of floor polish?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 16, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Trolling no a tool yes


Really?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 16, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> Trolling no a tool yes


Really?


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 16, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Really?





Wilf said:


> Really?



So shocked you commented twice


----------



## oryx (Sep 17, 2022)

Clive Lewis breaks ranks. Well said that man.









						Idea of monarchy as symbol of duty or sacrifice ‘a lie’, says Labour’s Clive Lewis
					

MP and former shadow cabinet member speaks out despite leader’s call for silence before Queen’s funeral




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 17, 2022)

oryx said:


> Clive Lewis breaks ranks. Well said that man.



bets for when he will be de-selected / arrested / locked up in the tower?


----------



## oryx (Sep 17, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> bets for when he will be de-selected / arrested / locked up in the tower?


Yes, it will be ahem, _interesting _to see what happens. 

Probably lots of vilification but I also expect support.


----------



## RD2003 (Sep 17, 2022)

Monarch Butterflies​At the Black Jacobin, Ralph Leonard opines on reactions to the Queen of England’s death, offering a critique of monarchy and the response of many people in Britain to monarchy––what he calls an “orgy of maudlin sentimentality and zealous adoration” that “has been nauseating and unbearable.”

He writes:



> This has always been one of the more bizarre practices of our culture. Only when the subject of monarchy and royalty is mentioned, do the British abandon every remnant of our supposedly typical stoicism, modesty, humour and reserve. We find it hilarious when North Korea invents fantastical tales of supernatural miracles around the life of their ‘Dear Leader’. Yet, the sight of clouds supposedly resembling the late Queen and rainbows being spotted over Buckingham Palace are widely reported as if it was a sign from the divine himself … We react with repulsion and mockery at other countries—usually dictators—where the hysterical veneration of mediocre individuals is part of official culture. Yet, we don’t recognise how unhealthy, how morbid the unwholesome cult of The Windsors is, in, for instance, the ubiquity of images of the late Queen wherever we may go, maintaining the precedence of the monarchy being the nation’s favourite fetish.
> Even in countries with constitutional monarchies such as Norway, Holland and Spain, you do not see this level of collective psychosis colonise a culture. Alas, you can’t tell someone they’re not in love when they are. You can’t argue with someone’s faith and the intensity of feeling it arouses.
> The monarchy, in our very secular society, more or less functions as a quasi-civic religion. A remnant of the sacred, of magic, of mystique, of tradition, of taboo, that many are desperate to cling onto in such a disenchanted world. It seems like a symbol of honest public service against the cynicism of mainstream politics. The flipside of this is a thin skin towards even the mildest criticism towards the monarchy and our society’s relationship with it, as demonstrated by the disgraceful arrest and jailing of a woman for simply holding a sign that read: Abolish The Monarchy!”, for breaking decorum in these sensitive of times.


Writing on the same subject at the Weekly Dish, the British-born Andrew Sullivan mounts a formidable defense of Queen Elizabeth:



> You can make all sorts of solid arguments against a constitutional monarchy—but the point of monarchy is precisely that it is not the fruit of an argument. It is emphatically not an Enlightenment institution. It’s a primordial institution smuggled into a democratic system. It has nothing to do with merit and logic and everything to do with authority and mystery—two deeply human needs our modern world has trouble satisfying without danger. The Crown satisfies those needs, which keeps other more malign alternatives at bay.
> No one has expressed this better than C.S. Lewis:
> “Where men are forbidden to honor a king, they honor millionaires, athletes, or film stars instead; even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison.
> The Crown represents something from the ancient past, a logically indefensible but emotionally salient symbol of something called a nation, something that gives its members meaning and happiness. However shitty the economy, or awful the prime minister, or ugly the discourse, the monarch is able to represent the nation all the time. In a living, breathing, mortal person.”
> ...


----------



## Humberto (Sep 17, 2022)

“Where men are forbidden to honor a king, they honor millionaires, athletes, or film stars instead; even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison."

That is them though, and it is infantilising and regressive.


----------



## Humberto (Sep 17, 2022)

It's a racket.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 17, 2022)

Humberto said:


> “Where men are forbidden to honor a king, they honor millionaires, athletes, or film stars instead; even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison."



So what was Prince Andrew's excuse?


----------



## Humberto (Sep 17, 2022)

I'm quoting the post above.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 17, 2022)

RD2003 said:


> Monarch Butterflies​At the Black Jacobin, Ralph Leonard opines on reactions to the Queen of England’s death, offering a critique of monarchy and the response of many people in Britain to monarchy––what he calls an “orgy of maudlin sentimentality and zealous adoration” that “has been nauseating and unbearable.”
> 
> He writes:
> 
> ...



Unfortunately both ignore the power of the mass media, which was born at the beginning of the 20th century.

Andrew Sullivan is the worst, because he gives the impression that the monarchy always had such an image in society.


> It’s a primordial institution smuggled into a democratic system.



Totally absurd. It was the crown, as in Germany, which managed to accomodate the middle class aspirations while still staying in the saddle. Ironically, it was the Kaiser who was more democratic than us, from the point of view of the worker, up until the end of WW1.



> The Crown represents something from the ancient past, a logically indefensible but emotionally salient symbol of something called a nation, something that gives its members meaning and happiness.



Now you can see the romanticism, which really took off in latter Victorian times.

We don't have a social history going back so far, but even the state history shows the nonsense in the above remarks. "Ancient Past"? Hmm? Certainly not the times upto the Normans - when we went off and on between many kngdoms and temporarily united until Canute and then the Normans - oh, how romantic they were! When? Under Tudors with religious persecutions depending on the period? How about the Stewarts with a couple of Civil Wars.

The guy's on drugs!

It's about myth making, like the american dream, with people getting their dreams and narratives from paintings then films, books and music.



> “Where men are forbidden to honor a king, they honor millionaires, athletes, or film stars instead; even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison.



No, not drugs, simply lying. People, of course, are not forbidden to honour the king - and never have been as long as there was a king. And getting spiritual needs from the king - when was that?


The guy is making this up.

Gangsters - and what are Kings? - have been glamourised by the media, just as kings have been. Film stars because people see them as the roles they play, the image they project - which is all a matter of directors, scriptwriters and publicity.

The media is the church which has killed the enlightenment and provides the myths and the narratives to justify the actions of our rulers.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 17, 2022)

oryx said:


> Clive Lewis breaks ranks. Well said that man.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Im certain he is going to make another run for leader post-Starmer
Can get odds of 100-1 if it happens and he wins!!


----------



## teqniq (Sep 18, 2022)

What a fucking embarrassment this man is, both to himself and everyone else:


----------



## story (Sep 18, 2022)

I think they’re just trying to outdo each other now aren’t they.

The most important event the world will ever see….
How much time do they have to come up with something faintly plausible within context. Does the competition end when she’s in the mausoleum or can we extend it to Chuck’s coronation? It’ll have to end before he dies because nothing, nothing ever will top this. The mourning for Charles will be a fart in deep water compared to this.

The most significant event in human history
Unparalleled impact on all of humanity
Seismic event
…?


----------



## Raheem (Sep 18, 2022)

I want to believe he said it for a bet, but I know I can't.


----------



## story (Sep 18, 2022)

I went up to Green Park and walked around last week. Day after the coffin arrived, whenever that was. (I went up to Kensington Gardens and walked about there when Diana died too. I did wonder how many people were there to gawp at the strangeness, not there for the respects.)

And it was interesting to see how sharp and complete was the change from “here we are mourning the queen” to “here we are going about our normal day” once I stepped away from the queen-queue-zone. In my own world, this place here is talking about it more than anywhere else. I’ve barely heard mention of the entire thing from death to queue anywhere, except for comment on how odd it all is.


But.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I think there’s something interesting happening here and I don’t think it has much to do with Elizabeth 2 herself. I think it’s about archetypes and other stuff going on deep below the horizon.

It’s a chance for people to connect as wider community after the atomised experience of 2 years of lockdowns. A chance to express sorrow and sadness collectively for what we all experienced during the pandemic. Not just our personal griefs but the collective grief of seeing the world so fragile and our place in it so perilous. I think that experience has had deep and seismic effects on us all. The only people who were gathering in numbers during the pandemic were those who were refusing to wear masks etc. in other words people who didn‘t express or demonstrate care for the wider community. I think the death of the queen and the chance to gather in large numbers has triggered a kind of riposte to that.

In modern secular society we don’t have a lot of opportunity to work with the archetypes in a public or collective way. If we accept that archetypes exist and that they need to be expressed, then how and where do we do this work? Well the telly does a lot of it for us, but that’s very passive and it’s not the same as when we are involved. Watching the archetypes on a light box, however large the screen, however flashy and emotive the story-telling, doesn’t meet our need for active involvement. The Queen is an important archetype, and one that doesn’t get ample expression in normal society, largely because it’s squashed and distorted by the patriarchy. (Similarly The King is also distorted by the patriarchy but is not squashed down in the same way… which will, I think, make it much harder for Charles to be held up and loved as monarch, even if he were a decent chap, which he clearly isn’t). When an archetype doesn’t get proper expression in our own personal life or very close by in our community, we necessarily project it elsewhere.

Probably, most of the people feeling moved to come to London to stand about and queue for days didn’t have any daily thought for Elizabeth 2, probably didn’t pay much attention, may have had some vague feelings of niceness towards her but nothing stronger. So why does the young pharmacist say she feels “waves of grief, I have never felt this for any other death”? She’s as puzzled as I am by her reaction. So what’s going on? Why did the young Brit fly over from Canada to stand in the street? He says he wants to feel “connected”; does he not feel any connection elsewhere in his life, and if so why does he think this will fill that gap? What about the woman who brought her mum‘s ashes? Is she doing something mad and stupid or is she acting from a place of chthonic impulse to honour something deep within her, something otherwise unexpressed and even inexpressible.

Any definition of the archetype of The Queen is obviously going to vary in detail from time to time and place to place. I can’t find a good example that would cover what I mean to say here. This post can’t cover everything I would like to say.


Whether or not Elizabeth 2 actually embodied the qualities of the Queen archetype is irrelevant. And it’s got nothing at all to do with the realities of the monarchy. Her well-kept habit of not giving opinions etc. made her the perfect screen onto which The Queen archetype can be projected, even more so now that she’s dead.

Elizabeth 2 is very probably the only Queen any of us alive will ever see on the throne. That’s not unimportant, and it does have some kind of impact. I think, as the patriarchy is being questioned and challenged, as the #Metoo movement slips into the past, as the ongoing issues with the Met remind us of the death of Sarah Everard, the death of this powerful matriarch is being noticed and felt on a deep level by individuals and by society. And because we don’t have any way to talk about these feelings without either being mocked and jeered, or by recourse to increasingly hagiographic nonsense, the complex unspoken feelings of the individual, and of the group, press out to be expressed in other ways.

As it turns out, travelling to London to stand in a moving line of people so that you can bow to a box has evolved and developed to be the thing that people can do and therefore want to do. And that is enabled by not only the media, but also by the ceremonial aspect of the whole thing. Ceremony provides a context and framework, a vessel, for this kind of expression. However brief and meaningless that may appear to disinterested observers, it’s an accessible and fairly simple way for people to achieve what they feel some need for. The effort of getting to London is local and unique. Once here, they can have a shared experience, one that is separate to and private from those who don’t feel the same way. (Although wierdly, because of the live feed, every single one of those brief private personal experiences is being broadcast live to the world and will be preserved for as long as digital information exists.)

I also agree with the idea that The Queue is a kind of pilgrimage (was that said by Justin Welby?). The Pilgrim is another archetype, and one that definitely doesn’t get much chance of expression in our modern world. The loss /lack of The Pilgrim is, I think, the source of significant angst and emotional malaise. Again, this is a simple way it can find expression.

The Vigil of the Princes is a fairly recent invention, but it feels and looks like something ancient. I’d suggest that it serves another archetypal need and may have developed from that need and the loss of some older rite. Seeing the children, and then the grandchildren, of the dead queen standing in silence, heads bowed, that’s a powerful image. That made Elizabeth 2 something further or other than Queen. It highlights her standing as another archetype, the Matriarch. And in any life, any culture, any time and place, the death of the matriarch is a shattering event. And again, in our modern secular world we don’t have sufficient rites of expression for processing these things. Doubly so with the pandemic horrors of our loved ones dying in isolation, having to grieve through the screen. Those impoverished experiences didn’t just go away, they went deep inside us. Not knowing the facts and details, what we can observe here is the death of a beloved family member, an Elder, a Matriarch, dying peacefully at home surrounded by the best care available, her family well taken care of, all present at her bedside, and now gathering to honour her properly. And their own grief is being properly witnessed by others. The tragedy here isn’t the death of Elizabeth 2, it’s that so few of us get this experience of being properly honoured and properly witnessed. Of course there is anger about this injustice, but there is also grief and sorrow that we don’t have it. And that grief and sorrow needs acknowledgement recognition and expression too.


The killing of Chris Kaba is like a looking-glass version of the queen’s death and accompanying rigamarole . Black man shot in the street by a man sworn to uphold the law. (If you look at the Police Oath, it looks like something a monarch would also swear to.) People gathering and marching for Justice for Chris Kaba mistaken for some kind of queen gathering is a looking-glass type thing. People gathering outside Scotland Yard - which is less than 400 metres from where the queen is lying in state - calling for justice within hearing of those coming out of Westminster Hall after parading past the coffin. The very clear and obvious difference in demographics between the two sets of people.


As an aside from the above but I think of central importance here…
The vast majority of the queen crowds is white. When I was up there, almost every single person on security detail was Black and Brown. The volunteer marshals were a mix of white and Black and Brown. The police were exclusively white. And I bet you anything you like that the people tasked with clearing up the mess of dead flowers will be Black and Brown people on zero hour contracts. Colonisation and unequal power dynamics innit.



If I were to write some kind of essay or study of all this, these would be my starting notes.
I fully expect the mocking and jeering from a majority of other posters. There will also be a heap of critique about the details of what I’ve noted here (eg there’s no such thing as archetype etc). I also suspect that some on here will agree with some of what I say.
Anyway. That’s pretty much where I am with this now. There‘s plenty more where that came from but essentially that’s my thoughts on the matter.

And for the avoidance of doubt, I am not a monarchist.


----------



## A380 (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## DJWrongspeed (Sep 18, 2022)

Saw a pub sign saying they were opening 10:30am tomorrow incl. live coverage of course.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 18, 2022)

story said:


> I went up to Green Park and walked around last week. Day after the coffin arrived, whenever that was. (I went up to Kensington Gardens and walked about there when Diana died too. I did wonder how many people were there to gawp at the strangeness, not there for the respects.)
> 
> And it was interesting to see how sharp and complete was the change from “here we are mourning the queen” to “here we are going about our normal day” once I stepped away from the queen-queue-zone. In my own world, this place here is talking about it more than anywhere else. I’ve barely heard mention of the entire thing from death to queue anywhere, except for comment on how odd it all is.
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing this. I wasn’t having these thoughts myself at all, but I was having some (less well-explored) parallel thoughts about societal rituals and practices, particularly those that have been suppressed by post-industrial rationalist consumer-capitalism. Your archetype approach was an angle on the same underlying idea that was very interesting to read.


----------



## story (Sep 18, 2022)

kabbes said:


> Thanks for sharing this. I wasn’t having these thoughts myself at all, but I was having some (less well-explored) parallel thoughts about societal rituals and practices, particularly those that have been suppressed by post-industrial rationalist consumer-capitalism. Your archetype approach was an angle on the same underlying idea that was very interesting to read.



Yes. The ritual stuff kinda underpins everything else I have been pondering on. It was I suppose the starting point. I guess I forgot to mention it cos it was self evident to me, so thank you for flagging it up,


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## story (Sep 18, 2022)

While we’re on the topic, the death of Diana and the public response struck me as about The Maiden being cut down in her prime. Persephone stolen away just as she was on the threshold of initiation into self-hood. I think the public expression of pain and the depth of feeling and woundedness around her death was about that.


----------



## DaphneM (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> My council has set up a condolences page and it’s nauseating reading. People calling themselves obedient servants and all sort of other mawkish forelock-tugging. Wtf is wrong with people? Makes me feel so detached from the rest of humanity when they behave like this


This does not sound as if you are particularly validating their grief.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 18, 2022)

Pissed off with his old band mates, John Lydon rushes to release his new solo single, Monarchy in the UK.

"
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 Right now boo, hoo, hoo
I've got an anal cyst
I am a monarchist
I know what I like
But I hate Meg 'n' Harry
I'll publicly shag the Union Jack
'Cause I want to be an MBE.



(From facebook - Attila the Stockbroker introduces . . . )


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 18, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> Pissed off with his old band mates, John Lydon rushes to release his new solo single, Monarchy in the UK.
> 
> "
> 
> ...


You've clearly never heard of jonny rubbish


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> This does not sound as if you are particularly validating their grief.


i do not care for your opinion.


----------



## flypanam (Sep 18, 2022)

All this queuing up shite, wouldn’t it be better to stick the corpse on an open top bus and let it do a tour. 

If anyone is interested n helping the Country getting over the death me and some mates are gonna do a charity single for the English to the tune of The Heat is On called ‘ The Queen is Gone’ hit up our Patreon dead old bat to donate.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 18, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> This does not sound as if you are particularly validating their grief.


FFS. What narcissism is this? Does everyone need their feelings validated by every stranger? People feel how they feel. Grief isn't generally about validation of self.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 18, 2022)

George and Charlotte to attend funeral of their great-grandmother the Queen | ITV News
					

The attendance of the young royals are among the details that have been released of the Queen's funeral service. | ITV National News




					www.itv.com


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> George and Charlotte to attend funeral of their great-grandmother the Queen | ITV News
> 
> 
> The attendance of the young royals are among the details that have been released of the Queen's funeral service. | ITV National News
> ...


This is not news. Go away royalist


----------



## bcuster (Sep 19, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> They're already dropping over.  I saw one weaving a bit.  This one actually did topple over.
> 
> 
> 
> How embarrassing is that?  Thing is, I think they switch out every 15 minutes.  (I think to give them all a chance to say they attended the queen to her last, or some such).



Probably drunk


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 19, 2022)

It is news, and it's fucking ghoulish. Dressing little kids up in stupid outfits and having them march in public for the delight of Mail/Express readers. I think Henry has been clear what he thought re his mother's funeral spectacle, so I'm guessing this is just Wills making it clear what a cunt he is.


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

X


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

R6 has gone to odd lift musak...again.   

Off with that dirge.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

Just when you thought things could not possibly get any worse...


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 19, 2022)

Did you all hang gin and corgis over the fireplace ready for the big day?


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Just when you thought things could not possibly get any worse...
> 
> View attachment 343474


She has finally found a role she can't possibly fuck up


----------



## Edie (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

Thoughts and prayers with all those at CenterParcs


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Thoughts and prayers with all those at CenterParcs


Their hopes were dashed early this morning when the tunnel “Harry” turned out to be just 20ft short, surfacing in the gap between the barbed wire fence and the woods


----------



## teqniq (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Thoughts and prayers with all those at CenterParcs


This was posted a few days ago:


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 19, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Did you all hang gin and corgis over the fireplace ready for the big day?



I'm pretty sure when I've eaten dog, it's been Shepherd mixes.  I doubt if roast Corgi would be particularly good eating, with the possible exception of the rump.

Gin, of course, goes with everything.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 19, 2022)

It is the beginning of the end for the UK monarchy, and today Peak Monarchist Nonsense so a significant moment
Aaaaalllll dooooooooowwwnnnnnnn hhiiillllllllllllllll for them now


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

flag shaggers assemble


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 19, 2022)

I will grant them one thing, that is one impressive church.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 19, 2022)

ska invita said:


> It is the beginning of the end for the UK monarchy, and today Peak Monarchist Nonsense so a significant moment
> Aaaaalllll dooooooooowwwnnnnnnn hhiiillllllllllllllll for them now



I do wonder if it is the end.  With the number of people who showed up to wait in line, it seems unlikely to be the end of the monarchy for a while yet.  I do see some of the former colonies becoming republics, but that's been a long time coming.  With better people in charge than Charles, they could still stop the slide.


----------



## Epona (Sep 19, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I will grant them one thing, that is one impressive church.



I am an atheist, but I bloody love church architecture.
I do quite like a wander around Westminster Abbey - certainly if you are ever in London it is worth a visit if like me you enjoy that sort of thing.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 19, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I will grant them one thing, that is one impressive church.



On every tourists agenda when down in that there London


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 19, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I will grant them one thing, that is one impressive church.


they didn't build it, so fuck em


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

if I was not working id of had a drinking game based around everything mentioned the queen service you had to finish you glass

methinks I'd be dead already


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 19, 2022)

Pickled but what a way to go


----------



## magneze (Sep 19, 2022)

When can we update the thread title? Is there still doubt? 🤔


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 19, 2022)

ska invita said:


> It is the beginning of the end for the UK monarchy, and today Peak Monarchist Nonsense so a significant moment
> Aaaaalllll dooooooooowwwnnnnnnn hhiiillllllllllllllll for them now



dunno

there will  be a coronation next year, which is peak monarchist nonsense without the competitive grieving bit


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 19, 2022)

Epona said:


> I am an atheist, but I bloody love church architecture.
> I do quite like a wander around Westminster Abbey - certainly if you are ever in London it is worth a visit if like me you enjoy that sort of thing.


I love visiting cathedrals and abbeys.  Just beautiful.  I also love stirring choral music.  I'm an atheist too, but definitely appreciate aspects of religious paraphernalia.


----------



## magneze (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> dunno
> 
> there will  be a coronation next year, which is peak monarchist nonsense without the competitive grieving bit


Nah, I think this is the peak.


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Of all the talk of disrespect, this is legitimately offensive:


----------



## ska invita (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> dunno
> 
> there will  be a coronation next year, which is peak monarchist nonsense without the competitive grieving bit


i dont reckon the enthusiasm will match the enthusiasm to queue


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

so we get a bank holiday for the coronation

that's the important part to remember


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 19, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> so we get a bank holiday for the coronation
> 
> that's the important part to remember





> Charles's coronation is thus expected to take place in the spring or summer (northern hemisphere) of 2023, possibly on 2 June, the 70th anniversary of his mother's coronation


Via Wikipedia


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I will grant them one thing, that is one impressive church.


Saaam’s funeral was in a High Anglican Church, designed by Christopher Wren, and it certainly made the occasion more moving and memorable


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 19, 2022)

magneze said:


> When can we update the thread title? Is there still doubt? 🤔


Once she's under the stone lid at Windsor


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 19, 2022)

Have we had the conspiracy theory that she was euthanised as she’d met the new PM, and there weren’t any pressing demands until the Christmas speech. They could also hold the funeral theatrics in decent weather, and have enough time to plan for a late spring coronation for the new lizard.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 19, 2022)

magneze said:


> When can we update the thread title? Is there still doubt? 🤔



There's still time for this to turn out to be a spectacular practical joke.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 19, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Have we had the conspiracy theory that she was euthanised as she’d met the new PM, and there weren’t any pressing demands until the Christmas speech. They could also hold the funeral theatrics in decent weather, and have enough time to plan for a late spring coronation for the new lizard.



If she wasn't, when are we going to talk about the fact that being dragged out of her sick bed to meet Truss is actually what finished her off? Not a great start for a Tory PM...


----------



## magneze (Sep 19, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> There's still time for this to turn out to be a spectacular practical joke.


This might be why the coffin is lead lined.


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 19, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Via Wikipedia



That's nearly a year away. I need Thursday off.


----------



## Bingoman (Sep 19, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I will grant them one thing, that is one impressive church.


I wonder how much those chandeliers are worth


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 19, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> I wonder how much those chandeliers are worth



If I were going to lift something, I'd stick to the candlesticks.  The chandeliers are probably too heavy to move, not to mention the difficulty of fencing them.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

magneze said:


> When can we update the thread title? Is there still doubt? 🤔


Nah, the genius of such a conspiracy theory thread is that it works as well post as pre-claimed death.

The thread is dead; long live the thread! (despite what I said 10 days ago  )


----------



## moochedit (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Nah, the genius of such a conspiracy theory thread is that it works as well post as pre-claimed death.
> 
> The thread is dead; long live the thread! (despite what I said 10 days ago  )


Yes she's alive and being held in the tower putting charles claim to the thrown in doubt and invalidating any pm's he appoints. Let's get fmotl about this


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Yes she's alive and being held in the tower putting charles claim to the thrown in doubt and invalidating any pm's he appoints. Let's get fmotl about this


I mean...where is the actual evidence that she's carked, eh?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I mean...where is the actual evidence that she's carked, eh?


Exactly... some people on here need to do some research and educate themselves


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 19, 2022)

Bingoman said:


> I wonder how much those chandeliers are worth


Nothing,  they're all stamped EIIR and so worthless now the queen's dead


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 19, 2022)

How is she doing?


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 19, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> How is she doing?



Still dead.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 19, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> so we get a bank holiday for the coronation
> 
> that's the important part to remember


almost certainly the coronation will be a much rowdier affair - a year to build for it


----------



## Wilf (Sep 19, 2022)

teqniq said:


> What a fucking embarrassment this man is, both to himself and everyone else:



'Was it not the 2nd World War, or perhaps the Russian Revolution, maybe the end of slavery?'
- Nah, the death of a 96 year old.
'Erm, could it have been the industrial revolution, shift from hunter gatherer societies? Even the internet?'
- Nah, the death of a 96 year old
'I see, I see. So, are you saying this death will bring about epoch defining change?'
- Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. It will bring in a 72 year old.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> Of all the talk of disrespect, this is legitimately offensive:



Corbyn supporters, obvs


----------



## ska invita (Sep 19, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I do wonder if it is the end.  With the number of people who showed up to wait in line, it seems unlikely to be the end of the monarchy for a while yet.  I do see some of the former colonies becoming republics, but that's been a long time coming.  With better people in charge than Charles, they could still stop the slide.


I almost feel like people are queuing to have a look at the death of the monarchy personified. 

The matriarchal figure of cosy British kitch nostalgia identity won't be readily continued by king Cumberland nor his millennial sprogs. End of an era, Harry jumping ship emblamatic of it.


----------



## stavros (Sep 19, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> There's still time for this to turn out to be a spectacular practical joke.


We're frequently told what a fabulous sense of humour she had. That whole grassy knoll thing was her doing, you know.


----------



## Santino (Sep 19, 2022)

I would like to definitively answer the question posed in the OP: yes.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

Santino said:


> View attachment 343632
> I would like to definitively answer the question posed in the OP: yes.


*"*_...*private..."*_

Hmm...


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Nah, the genius of such a conspiracy theory thread is that it works as well post as pre-claimed death.
> 
> The thread is dead; long live the thread! (despite what I said 10 days ago  )



And so it begins:









						Man wanted to tell Queen ‘to get out of her f***ing coffin because she’s not dead’
					

Man is among two people charged with public order offences in Westminster Hall, while a third man is accused of sexually assaulting women in queue




					www.independent.co.uk


----------



## story (Sep 19, 2022)

ska invita said:


> almost certainly the coronation will be a much rowdier affair - a year to build for it



Odds on Charlie dying before he’s crowned?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

think liz truss is just biding here time here

still have the laced glove in number 10

"i said abolish the monarchy and i meant it "


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 19, 2022)

Yes Salford.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> And so it begins:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



began days ago with people saying the coffin was empty because the original funeral parlour was told to take off its badge
as it was not ok to gain publicity for being involved in the queens funeral


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

so are we ok to go back to talking about the country falling apart in the morning


----------



## Ranbay (Sep 20, 2022)

Proud to say I haven't seen one bit of the whole thing.

had someone fit new power sockets in the house yesterday and the leccy was off most of the day


----------



## rekil (Sep 20, 2022)

I was just watching the Always Sunny podcast where they're discussing how willy's schoolchums must have viewed him.

ska invita trigger alert for stripey top 



Spoiler








Also I had been wondering whether there were any uh attempts at disruption and I came across them doing this.



Spoiler








I believe her majesty is guiding my browsing from the grave bless er.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 20, 2022)

ska invita said:


> dont forget!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


End of Feb/march. So less than 6 months later....


----------



## elbows (Sep 20, 2022)

More broadly there is a gradual accumulation of evidence that the risk of death or serious health problems is increased for at least a year after having covid.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 20, 2022)

Worth remembering that at 96, your life expectancy is in any case only about 3 years on average. Not sure what the median life is, but I would expect it is probably within 2 years.


----------



## elbows (Sep 20, 2022)

Yes, I find it useful to look at risk of death in the next year by age and sex, eg the stuff on this site:





__





						Risk of death by age and sex
					

Risk of death by age and sex



					www.bandolier.org.uk
				




Royalty brings various advantages that probably skew the statistics where they are concerned, but the fundamentals obviously cannot be dodged.

A more complete analysis of the role of covid in her decline and death would require us to have information about her medical history. We've been treated to almost zero information about that, we only know when she had covid, and that she was admitted to hospital for tests the previous October, the details of which I dont believe were made public at all. 'mobility issues' were used as a cover for whatever the full story was.


----------



## quimcunx (Sep 20, 2022)

Someone said to me that foreign press were reporting she had bone cancer.  Of course that could be based on absolutely nothing.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 20, 2022)

quimcunx said:


> Someone said to me that foreign press were reporting she had bone cancer.  Of course that could be based on absolutely nothing.



More plausible than dying of old fucking age.


----------



## elbows (Sep 20, 2022)

quimcunx said:


> Someone said to me that foreign press were reporting she had bone cancer.  Of course that could be based on absolutely nothing.


Well at the very least thats what controversial self-publicist, shirt-stirrer and gossip Lady Colin Campbell said, although she often avoided the word cancer. She also gave the time of death as 2.37pm.

In any case thats just the most obvious and recent source of the bone cancer rumour, it was actually doing the rounds earlier than that. I think the bone cancer rumour made it a few sections of the press in August.

I obviously lack the means to substantiate such rumours. So Im left with banal statements about how by refusing to confirm or deny rumours or provide more detail, rumours will inevitably take on a life of their own.


----------



## elbows (Sep 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> More plausible than dying of old fucking age.


Old age increases the risk of death in all manner of ways but there is still a cause of death that is specific. In some cases that actual underlying cause may not have been discovered, so the UK death certificate guidance does allow 'old age' to be listed as the cause of death, but only in certain narrow circumstances:



			https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1062236/Guidance_for_Doctors_completing_medical_certificates_Mar_22.pdf
		




> 4.3 Avoid ‘old age’ alone
> Old age, ‘senility’ or ‘frailty of old age’ should only be given as the sole cause of death in very limited circumstances. These are that:
> 
> You have personally cared for the deceased over a long period (years, or many months)
> ...





> You may mention old age or frailty as a contributory cause, especially if it explains the severe effect of a condition that is not usually fatal. If the immediate cause of death was Covid-19 or its consequences, and the patient had no specific pre-existing health conditions, but appears to have been especially vulnerable to Covid-19 or its effects because of old age or frailty, it is appropriate to state old age as contributing to the death.





> You should bear in mind that coroners, crematorium referees, registrars and organisations that regulate standards in health and social care, may ask you to support your statement with information from the patient's medical records and any investigations that might have a bearing on the cause of death. You should also be aware that the patient’s family may not regard old age as an adequate explanation for their relative’s death and may request further investigation.
> 
> It is unlikely that patients would be admitted to an acute hospital if they had no apparent disease or injury. It follows that deaths in acute hospitals are unlikely to fulfil the conditions above. You can specify old age as the underlying cause of death, but you should also mention in part one or part two, as appropriate, any medical or surgical conditions that may have contributed to the death.


----------



## Sue (Sep 20, 2022)

On a team call just now. My American boss asked us (there's only me and one other person in the UK) if we'd watched it all on TV. I replied 'nope, didn't watch any of it' (and very likely rolled my eyes) just as my colleague said, 'yes, I watched it all.'

Everyone else is like  and I attempt to explain things by lightheartedly saying 'I think me and [colleague] may be on different sides on this one'.

'There aren't any sides', he says very snippily, 'it's a historic occasion, why would you NOT watch it?'

🤣


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 20, 2022)

[/QUOTE]


Sue said:


> Everyone else is like  and I attempt to explain things by lightheartedly saying 'I think me and [colleague] may be on different sides on this one'.
> 
> 'There aren't any sides', he says very snippily, 'it's a historic occasion, why would you NOT watch it?'
> 
> 🤣



“I had paint drying that needed watching”


----------



## teqniq (Sep 20, 2022)

Sue said:


> On a team call just now. My American boss asked us (there's only me and one other person in the UK) if we'd watched it all on TV. I replied 'nope, didn't watch any of it' (and very likely rolled my eyes) just as my colleague said, 'yes, I watched it all.'
> 
> Everyone else is like  and I attempt to explain things by lightheartedly saying 'I think me and [colleague] may be on different sides on this one'.
> 
> ...


Your boss sounds like a bit of a dick.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 20, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Your boss sounds like a bit of a dick.


All bosses are dicks


----------



## teqniq (Sep 20, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> All bosses are dicks


That observation has some merit.


----------



## mx wcfc (Sep 20, 2022)

A colleague remarked on our teams call that the whole day had made them “proud to be British”. 
I mimed zipping my lips and my boss changed the subject rapidly.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 20, 2022)

Sounds a bit like the sentiments in Seb Coe’s Olympics closing ceremony speech

I had similar messages in WhatsApp groups, “regardless of your views on the monarchy we have done a good job with the worlds eyes on us”. 

Just a big yawn from me.


----------



## Sue (Sep 20, 2022)

teqniq said:


> Your boss sounds like a bit of a dick.


She's actually not as these things go. (It was my British colleague who made the snippy remark.)


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> More plausible than dying of old fucking age.



or of a broken heart seeming as she lost her companion if 70 bloody years


----------



## SysOut (Sep 20, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> the worlds eyes on us


Paranoid psychosis?


----------



## not a trot (Sep 20, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> or of a broken heart seeming as she lost her companion if 70 bloody years



Of course. Yet they spent the majority of those years apart. Sleeping in their separate apartments and all that.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 20, 2022)

when you are 96 a gust of wind has a chance of killing you
also sleeping arrangements in mind  plenty of people have different sleep arrangement
but at that age couples don't tend to last that long when one of them clocks it


even johnny cash dies a few days after his missus


----------



## elbows (Sep 20, 2022)

The bloke who got sat on for going up to her coffin didnt believe she was dead:

edit - oops I see this was already mentioned on this thread but this report is a bit more up to date. Oh actually that was a different bloke mentioned earlier.









						Man tried to check Queen was in coffin, court told
					

Muhammad Khan was suffering from delusions and believed the Queen was alive, a court hears.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 20, 2022)

I admit to being disappointed that the coffin didn't burst open at some point, with Liz popping up and squawking, 'Only fooling!'


----------



## Duncan2 (Sep 20, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I admit to being disappointed that the coffin didn't burst open at some point, with Liz popping up and squawking, 'Only fooling!'


That''ll be why Charles brought that sword with him I did wonder about that.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 20, 2022)

X


----------



## Sue (Sep 21, 2022)

On a work call explaining why I had to decline a meeting on Monday.

'So yeah, we had an unexpected day off because the queen died.' 🤷‍♀️ 

American and German colleagues look like they think they should say something (condolences or some such) but clock that I'm not exactly looking upset. So they say nothing but look a bit uncomfortable.

My Spanish colleague is like 🤷‍♂️.

(((countries with shit monarchies)))


----------



## brogdale (Sep 21, 2022)

#JeSuisMuhammadKhan


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 21, 2022)

aye tbf she really still  alive, they just worked the state funeral as she wanted a way out without abdicating

hears she gonna be spending the winter with meg and harry


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 26, 2022)




----------



## stavros (Sep 27, 2022)




----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 29, 2022)

Just to avoid any confusion. Yes.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 29, 2022)

skyscraper101 said:


> Just to avoid any confusion. Yes.


"Old age"   that's disconcertingly vague


----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 29, 2022)

May I be the first to cry FAKE!!!!1!!!


----------



## elbows (Sep 29, 2022)

moochedit said:


> "Old age"   that's disconcertingly vague


I did previously post what the guidelines about using that cause of death on death certificates are:        #7,182    

They are only supposed to use it under a limited set of circumstances, including not being aware of any disease or condition that contributed to the death. I doubt that is really the case in this instance.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 29, 2022)

"Foul play ruled out in queen's death, coroner claims"


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 29, 2022)

elbows said:


> I did previously post what the guidelines about using that cause of death on death certificates are:        #7,182
> 
> They are only supposed to use it under a limited set of circumstances, including not being aware of any disease or condition that contributed to the death. I doubt that is really the case in this instance.



In fairness, she was still up and about meeting Johnson and Truss two days prior.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 29, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> "Foul play ruled out in queen's death, coroner claims"


Reptile play not ruled out!!


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 29, 2022)

I note Anne just managed to comply with the eight day deadline after which she would have been served a notice by the registrar compelling her to attend the registration office in person to attest the death registration form in the prescribed manner.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 29, 2022)

skyscraper101 said:


> Just to avoid any confusion. Yes.


Exactly the sort of document they would put out.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 29, 2022)

Still amazed at the send off she got from her £5 a month Sunlife Plan


----------



## elbows (Sep 29, 2022)

The BBC were gently skeptical about the amount of health info given:



> When she was alive there was a curtain of privacy around the Queen's health, and in her death there remains some restraint.
> 
> Her cause of death is recorded as "old age", without any further details.
> 
> The advice from coroners is that "old age" can be given as the sole cause of death in some "very limited circumstances", where the certifying doctor has personally cared for someone over a long period; where a "gradual decline" has been observed and where a doctor is not aware of "any identifiable disease or injury" contributing to a death.



Time of death ends up being their main focus.



> Buckingham Palace had formally announced the Queen's death at 18:30, with news organisations around the world immediately relaying the announcement that: "The Queen died peacefully at Balmoral this afternoon."
> 
> There were subsequent reports that the Prime Minister Liz Truss had been privately notified at 16:30.
> 
> This death certificate shows the Queen had died at 15:10, more than three hours before the news was publicly released.











						Queen's cause of death given as 'old age' on death certificate
					

The time and cause of Elizabeth II's death have been revealed by Scottish authorities.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




BBC presenters were wearing black long before that stated time of death, but of course the death being seen as inevitable could easily happen well before the official time of death.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 29, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Still amazed at the send off she got from her £5 a month Sunlife Plan




And Charlie just threw that pen away


----------



## stavros (Sep 29, 2022)

skyscraper101 said:


> Just to avoid any confusion. Yes.


1510 will forever be etched in my mind, as such a pivotal point in my life.


It was when school finished.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 29, 2022)

Any pathologist can tell you the cause of death - cardiac arrest.
What caused it, is quite another matter.
But the law is only interested in whether it was natural or whether someone caused the death.

So, remember the old question "Where were you when the Queen died?"
M. Poirot and Capt. Hastings want to talk to all the staff at Balmoral !!
Why?
Because of the evidence?
No, my dear Hasting, because of the lack of evidence.

Autopsies should be routine for all sudden deaths.
Hers, was a sudden death.


----------



## planetgeli (Sep 29, 2022)

I could imagine the monarchy hold enough sway to have Dignitas brought to them.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 29, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> I note Anne just managed to comply with the eight day deadline after which she would have been served a notice by the registrar compelling her to attend the registration office in person to attest the death registration form in the prescribed manner.


isn't charlie "next of kin" though?


----------



## stavros (Sep 29, 2022)

SysOut said:


> So, remember the old question "Where were you when the Queen died?"


"What about that time he asked me where I was when JFK died? You totally overreacted; he wasn't accusing me of anything!"


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 29, 2022)

moochedit said:


> isn't charlie "next of kin" though?


The king had sacked the member of staff responsible for this sort of thing and threw a hissy fit as he can't even open doors for himself. Anne is the only fully literate member of the royal family and in addition didn't wield the pillow into which the queen breathed her last breath


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 30, 2022)

SysOut said:


> Any pathologist can tell you the cause of death - cardiac arrest.
> What caused it, is quite another matter.
> But the law is only interested in whether it was natural or whether someone caused the death.
> 
> ...


Hypoxia would be the ultimate cause of death, surely?


----------



## stavros (Oct 11, 2022)

I walked past a market today and saw they were selling 2023 Queen calendars. It wasn't clear from my brief glance when they were printed, although the photos at least looked pre-death.


----------



## gosub (Oct 30, 2022)

As spectacular a tenure as Liz Truss period  of Prime Minister was, I think the Queen's passing was purely co incidental. Far more likely to have been holding  on for the chance to accept the resignation of PM under which there were parties in Downing Street that were lied about in Parliament while the Queen mourned her husband whilst respecting covid conditions


----------



## brogdale (Dec 22, 2022)

Hold on....


----------



## andysays (Dec 22, 2022)

Council condemns vandalism of memorial to Queen Elizabeth II​


----------

