# The Essex Thread: news, discussion, photos and more



## Divisive Cotton (Aug 10, 2006)

In response to the Surrey thread, I present to you... the Essex thread:

Some facts about Essex:

* The population of Essex is 1,318,400 - it is the most populated county in England. 

* Colchester is the oldest recorded town in England

* Canewdon is renown for its witches & witchcraft. It is said, as long as the church tower stands there will be six witches in Canewdon. Every time a stone falls from the tower, one witch will die, & another will take her place. 

* Essex has 350 miles of coastline - the longest of any county in Britian

* The name Essex originates from "The Land of the East Saxons"

* Southend pier (at over a mile long) is the longest pleasure pier in the world

* Greensted Church is Britain's oldest wooden church dating from the 11th century AD

* The Colchester Solidarity Group is 'an agitational and organisational network for Colchester-based libertarian socialists.' www.colchestersolidarity.org

So come all ye Essex folk - tell us yer stories,tips and facts!


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## zenie (Aug 10, 2006)




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## Monkeynuts (Aug 10, 2006)

I'm feling argumentative today.... 




			
				Divisive Cotton said:
			
		

> The population of Essex is 1,318,400 - it is the most populated county in England.



This must depend on how you define it. Yorkshire will obviously be more if you class it as one county. Any county containing a decent-sized city will be larger, and you obviously have to discount any cities that are also counties. Plus "metropolitan counties", and Greater London itself...




			
				Divisive Cotton said:
			
		

> Essex has 350 miles of coastline - the longest of any county in Britian



Yes but it's cheating by going in and out. And quantity is nothing compared to quality...




			
				Divisive Cotton said:
			
		

> Southend pier (at over a mile long) is the longest pleasure pier in the world



Isn't it knackered now? There are also less pleasurable piers that could steal the title in an instant by installing a Punch and Judy show or Jim Davidson at the far end. In fact, what an excellent idea...how about Tynemouth pier


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## Sweet FA (Aug 10, 2006)

Dagnum Dustbins













Southend Cruise


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Aug 10, 2006)

Leigh has recently been voted one of the top places to live in the South East















Fine if you like the smell of cockle sheds


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Aug 10, 2006)

Monkeynuts said:
			
		

> Isn't it knackered now? There are also less pleasurable piers that could steal the title in an instant by installing a Punch and Judy show or Jim Davidson at the far end. In fact, what an excellent idea...how about Tynemouth pier




It's had numerous fires, probably the biggest one of which was in the mid 1970s at the lifeboat end of the pier, which I watched all night from my bedroom window.  It has also had tankers splicing it in half. 

It burned down a few years ago again due to a fire at the Western Esplanade of the Pier (stored paint etc. igniting).

I used to go 10-pin bowling weekly on the Pier as my games lesson at school


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## Griff (Aug 10, 2006)

I love North Essex, Saffron Walden and the surrounding areas. Which is where I'm moving to. 

Lovely.


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## Ground Elder (Aug 10, 2006)

> I used to go 10-pin bowling weekly on the Pier as my games lesson at school


that's proper Essex


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## Divisive Cotton (Aug 10, 2006)

Sweet FA said:
			
		

> Southend Cruise



Essex people like their cars


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## Divisive Cotton (Aug 10, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> I love North Essex, Saffron Walden and the surrounding areas. Which is where I'm moving to.
> 
> Lovely.



My mum lives in Thaxted - I'm going up there this weekend - in the summer it is genuinely beautiful


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## Groucho (Aug 10, 2006)

Shortly after I first moved to Essex I took the last train home. Two very pissed young women slumped into the seat opposite me. Let us for the sake of convenience call them Sharon and Tracy for I do not recall their names. When the train started moving Tracy slumped forward into my lap. Said Sharon 'Trace, Trace, get out of that man's lap. You haven't been introduced.'*

I am pleased to say that since that one occassion, which happened exactly like that, though my main thought at the time was 'oh shit, she's gonna be sick', my time in Essex has not often given me grounds to consider any stereotypes of Essex folk to be anything other than codswallop. 

Denise Outen (pictured above) is living proof of that. (She added the Van bit to make her name more exotic sounding). Denise Van Outen has not forgotten her routes though and still visits Lakeside regularly. 

Now I must in all seriousness completely distance myself from this post. Although I am a Sussex lad meself I will not, I repeat will not have any posh Surrey types coming onto this thread to repeat anti-working class stereotypes about Essex folk. The first person to use the word 'Chav' will be removed from my Xmas list. Where I live the shoe shops no longer have white stilletos in the windows, but black ones. (_Almost_) every woman below 40 is wearing those smart just above the knee length trousers/shorts. 


* to which I responded 'Hi, I'm Groucho


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## zenie (Aug 10, 2006)

Groucho said:
			
		

> Now I must in all seriousness completely distance myself from this post. Although I am a Sussex lad meself I will not, I repeat will not have any posh Surrey types coming onto this thread to repeat anti-working class stereotypes about Essex folk. The first person to use the word 'Chav' will be removed from my Xmas list. Where I live the shoe shops no longer have white stilletos in the windows, but black ones. (_Almost_) every woman below 40 is wearing those smart just above the knee length trousers/shorts.



I dont know what you mean


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Aug 10, 2006)

Ground Elder said:
			
		

> that's proper Essex




Thank you kindly   

They did try to ban our weekly trips to the Pier as we (well not me obviously  ) were all walking through Southend High Street sniffing Tippex Thinner on the way to the Pier


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## sparkling (Aug 10, 2006)

Yay a positive Essex thread.   

Even my own little town which can be decidely grotty has got some real hidden gems.  I've been walking around it lately and have found all kinds of hidden stuff such as really old quaint churches, sculptures dotted around the town and quiet secret bits of countryside.

Just lately driving through Essex and seeing all the fields looking all golden and ready to be harvested and seeing the abundance of wildlife has been beautiful.

Plus eating in a 14th century pub last night sitting on a window seat and looking out on a village that probably has not changed all that much over the centuries makes me glad I live where I do.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 10, 2006)

> Although I am a Sussex lad meself I will not, I repeat will not have any posh Surrey types coming onto this thread to repeat anti-working class stereotypes about Essex folk. The first person to use the word 'Chav' will be removed from my Xmas list.



I'm an Essex boy - the place is rammed to the gills with chavs or varying incomes, from the rich, self-made chav, with his detached house in Chigwell replete with cladding, Range Rover Vogue SE 6.0 V8 and tanorexic wife, to the skankiest Canvey Island 'erbert wearing immo Lacoste...

Meself I was always a fan of Farah and Gabicci when I were a teen, and had my little Pug 205 with giant stereo and lowered bits etc etc...and that's the bit of Essex that'll never leave me...that and finding women with designer roots in their hair horny as fuck...


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## Groucho (Aug 10, 2006)

Goes to strike Kyser_soze off Xmas card list. Realises I have no list. Prepares list. Writes name 'Kyser_soze'. Strikes name off list. Done.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 10, 2006)

sparkling said:
			
		

> Yay a positive Essex thread.
> 
> Even my own little town which can be decidely grotty has got some real hidden gems.  I've been walking around it lately and have found all kinds of hidden stuff such as really old quaint churches, sculptures dotted around the town and quiet secret bits of countryside.
> 
> ...



I remember taking Wrysmile to Witham for the first time and showing her St Nicks, the row of Tudor Houses on Newland Street, seeing the signs on the White Heart and Spread Eagle of when they were first built etc etc, then going to the White Horse (where there's been a pub on site since before the Domesday book!) and having a couple of ales 

I slag the place off (and genuinely don't like returning to Witham) but it does have some really wonderful parts (many listed here - Thaxted and Saffron Walden are lurvely)


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## Griff (Aug 10, 2006)

Divisive Cotton said:
			
		

> My mum lives in Thaxted - I'm going up there this weekend - in the summer it is genuinely beautiful



Looked a few houses in Thaxted & Debden (NOT the shithole next to Loughton on the Central Line, but the pretty village just outside Saffron Walden) over the last couple of months. Settled for a lovely little Victorian cottage in Newport as it's just a 5 minute drive from Saffron Walden & a 3 minute walk to the local & the village shop.   

A mate of mine just moved to Saffron Walden and the times I've been up there on a Friday it's been lovely. Lovely pubs, beer gardens to ourselves and nobody about come closing time. He loves it up there and now hates having to work in London.


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## wrysmile (Aug 10, 2006)

kyser_soze said:
			
		

> I remember taking Wrysmile to Witham for the first time and showing her St Nicks, the row of Tudor Houses on Newland Street, seeing the signs on the White Heart and Spread Eagle of when they were first built etc etc, then going to the White Horse (where there's been a pub on site since before the Domesday book!) and having a couple of ales
> 
> I slag the place off (and genuinely don't like returning to Witham) but it does have some really wonderful parts (many listed here - Thaxted and Saffron Walden are lurvely)



I liked Whitham - Kyser nearly died when I started peeking through the windows of the little tudor houses cause they looked just like a movie set, with little fires and flowery couches - but I said: "Hey, they've moved into these houses, they've signed up for people gawping at them through right-on-the-street-windows, relax!" He scuttled off.

I've gotta place in my heart for Essex - my lovely bf and my delightful brother-in-law are both Essex boys.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 10, 2006)

> Whitham



Bless.xxx


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## Monkeynuts (Aug 10, 2006)

Minnie_the_Minx said:
			
		

> It's had numerous fires, probably the biggest one of which was in the mid 1970s at the lifeboat end of the pier, which I watched all night from my bedroom window.  It has also had tankers splicing it in half.



It was my brother's ship that went through the end. I mean, as in he was part of the crew, not as in he owned it.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Aug 10, 2006)

Monkeynuts said:
			
		

> I mean, as in he was part of the crew, not as in he owned it.




Should have kept that part quiet.  Tell him to take some driving lessons


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## bluestreak (Aug 10, 2006)

i grew up in one of the shit bits of essex, but the countryside is nice, and there are some damn good pubs tucked about across north essex.


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## rennie (Aug 10, 2006)

I've never been.


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## lighterthief (Aug 10, 2006)

Anyone else tried or know the history of the unusual culinary delight that is the Essex 'huffer'?


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## Sweet FA (Aug 10, 2006)

Groucho said:
			
		

> ...Denise Van Outen has not forgotten her routes though...


Me neither; my favourite being the 31 from Chelmsford to Maldon. Or maybe it was Maldon to Burnham. 

Fuck, I _have_ forgotten my routes


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## Groucho (Aug 10, 2006)

Sweet FA said:
			
		

> Me neither; my favourite being the 31 from Chelmsford to Maldon. Or maybe it was Maldon to Burnham.
> 
> Fuck, I _have_ forgotten my routes



Doh!


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## Sweet FA (Aug 10, 2006)

Groucho said:
			
		

> Doh!


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## hammerntongues (Aug 11, 2006)

A Benfleet boy here , I very rarely go back nowadays but happened to be there this last weekend , same faces in the same pubs as when I left 15 years ago and were there the 15 years prior to that .

Minnie , I did the 10 pin bowling as well , what about Roller Skating ??

I moved to East Yorks for a while but eventually found my way back and live in Danbury ,close to Chelmsford which is a great village , I`m glad my kids are able to grow up here rather than Benfleet.


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## hammerntongues (Aug 11, 2006)

lighterthief said:
			
		

> Anyone else tried or know the history of the unusual culinary delight that is the Essex 'huffer'?




I don`t know the history but my local sells them , its a big bread roll , at least it is in my pub.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 11, 2006)

Sweet FA said:
			
		

> Me neither; my favourite being the 31 from Chelmsford to Maldon. Or maybe it was Maldon to Burnham.
> 
> Fuck, I _have_ forgotten my routes



Isn't that the A414?

Hang on...these 'huffers'...are they a giant doughy thing with about half a litre of cream in them? I thought they were called 'jaws' on account of being so huge...


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## Roadkill (Aug 11, 2006)

<resists the temptation to start telling Essex Girl jokes...>


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## fen_boy (Aug 11, 2006)

Essex is in East Anglia not the south east you heathens


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## Divisive Cotton (Aug 11, 2006)

fen_boy said:
			
		

> Essex is in East Anglia not the south east you heathens



 it's bloody not! i live in a London borough - but it's still part of essex


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## Sweet FA (Aug 11, 2006)

kyser_soze said:
			
		

> Isn't that the A414?


I meant the bus route, but yeah I think it is. 

The best road in Essex however...




			
				Billy Bragg said:
			
		

> If you ever go to Shoeburyness
> Take the A road, the okay road that's the best
> Go motorin' on the A13
> 
> ...


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## fen_boy (Aug 11, 2006)

Divisive Cotton said:
			
		

> it's bloody not! i live in a London borough - but it's still part of essex



Yes it is!!!


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Aug 11, 2006)

hammerntongues said:
			
		

> Minnie , I did the 10 pin bowling as well , what about Roller Skating ??




On the Pier?  Roller Skating on Pier Hill?

Couldn't roller-skate.  Spent more time on my arse


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Aug 11, 2006)

fen_boy said:
			
		

> Essex is in East Anglia not the south east you heathens




You sure it's not East Angular?


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## Griff (Aug 11, 2006)

When I move I'll have a Cambridge post-code even though I'll be living in Essex.


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## hammerntongues (Aug 11, 2006)

Minnie_the_Minx said:
			
		

> On the Pier?  Roller Skating on Pier Hill?
> 
> Couldn't roller-skate.  Spent more time on my arse




Just around the corner from Pier Hill , above one of the amusement arcades , circular track and rock n roll music , run by an old Ted , god only knows how it got included in schools games lessons but it was a teacher free zone ,I`m talking 74/5 ish  probably way before your time.


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## sparkling (Aug 11, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> When I move I'll have a Cambridge post-code even though I'll be living in Essex.



Mmm if you think Epping has that snobbiness to it wait till you get into Newport and Saffron, they don't like to think they are part of Essex. 

Tis a lovely looking part of the county though I used to visit there a lot when I worked for the Youth Offending Team.  I loved those visits, driving through those little villages where the kids are all bored and either take loads of drugs or bash each other up.

When you go through the village just before Newport <I'm not sure if its Ugley or another one> there is copse of trees and I think some excentric lives there.  I've never slowed down enough to really look but sometimes you can see where he has hung things on the trees, bits of old rubbish mainly and once I caught a glimpse of him pushing his wheelbarrow through the village.  I think he is a well known local and the villagers all sort of tolerate or love him ...but try and find out for me Griff?


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## Griff (Aug 11, 2006)

sparkling said:
			
		

> Mmm if you think Epping has that snobbiness to it wait till you get into Newport and Saffron, they don't like to think they are part of Essex.



I think Epping lost that snobbiness years ago.


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## DIY Manual (Aug 12, 2006)

Chelmsford is the king of Essex  Full of loads of Barret homes and that now, and all the new estates are built without proper amounts of pubs and shops and i think they're shite.

Moulsham Street is fun to pub crawl down  

Danbury is the highest part of Essex


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## portman (Aug 12, 2006)

Essex is indeed a county of contrasts - not just north vs south but even within a few miles in the same location.

Gourmet restuarant (The Bell) in Horndon-on-the-Hill with a delightful view over.... Corringham and Stanford-le-Hope - where there are some areas that are quite run down and with some people who are poverty stricken. It's the new town dream that has died. What stared out as bright hope for the future has turned into something more complex - yes a lot of people have moved out from London and built a good life for themselves but there are a growing number of casualties along the way.

There is certainly a north / south divide - most likely a result of London overspill into south Essex which has given this part of the county a completely diferent character to the north, particularly around Saffron Walden and Newport. Don't get me wrong - a lovely part of the world (and my daughter's boyfrind comes from there) but very different to the south in terms of the pace of life and demographics. It's nice to visit north Essex but I'm not sure I could live there. I much prefer the south as I find the people are more honest with you - no middle class pretension, just straight to the point!

Also, I couldn't live away from the Thames estuary. Even the grotty bits around Thurrock have a certain gritty integrity (and some great photo opportunities). And after a stroll down the seafront - or across Hadleigh Downs - finishing up at the Crooked Billet in Leigh-on-Sea for a drink and some food is the perfect end to a day out...


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## Ground Elder (Aug 13, 2006)

> Chelmsford is the king of Essex


I grew up in Chelmsford. When I was young it were all fields


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## DIY Manual (Aug 13, 2006)

Ground Elder said:
			
		

> I grew up in Chelmsford. When I was young it were all fields



Me too, and am back there now  

I remember orchards and fields, now housing estates. My finest memories were being a naughty youngster on what has now been built over . Where abouts in Chelmsford was your turf? Moulsham way for me


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## Ground Elder (Aug 13, 2006)

> Where abouts in Chelmsford was your turf? Moulsham way for me


Same here. I go back at most once a year to visit my parent and to marvel that there's any green space left at all.


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## oddworld (Aug 14, 2006)

I'm a Chelmsford gal, not sure if thats good or bad.

Good when on this thread


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Aug 14, 2006)

hammerntongues said:
			
		

> Just around the corner from Pier Hill , above one of the amusement arcades , circular track and rock n roll music , run by an old Ted , god only knows how it got included in schools games lessons but it was a teacher free zone ,I`m talking 74/5 ish  probably way before your time.




Well, I was near enough with Pier Hill.  Yes I remember it.  I was living in Southend then so NOT before my time  

Think half of the amusements in Southend were run by Teds    What a dump the Kursaal was


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## hammerntongues (Aug 14, 2006)

DIY Manual said:
			
		

> Danbury is the highest part of Essex



I live very close to the top of the hill midway between The Bell and The Griffin .


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## PacificOcean (Aug 14, 2006)

I live on the Middlesex/Essex border (quite litteraly. On the other side of my fence in my back garden is Essex!)

I went to Harlow on Sunday.  They have a fantastic all you can eat chinese buffet and the worlds biggest Matalan and TK Maxx stores.   They are the size of Stanstead Airport!


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## Augie March (Nov 3, 2006)

I'm from every Londoner's favourite summer bank holiday destination, the delightful seaside resort known as Clacton-on-Sea.

There's nothing quite like a swim in the sea of turds at Clacton beach.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 3, 2006)

Dr Gonzo said:
			
		

> I'm from every Londoner's favourite summer bank holiday destination, the delightful seaside resort known as Clacton-on-Sea.
> 
> There's nothing quite like a swim in the sea of turds at Clacton beach.




You poor bastard


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## kyser_soze (Nov 3, 2006)

Dr Gonzo said:
			
		

> I'm from every Londoner's favourite summer bank holiday destination, the delightful seaside resort known as Clacton-on-Sea.
> 
> There's nothing quite like a swim in the sea of turds at Clacton beach.



In fairness you've got Walton just up the road, and while the town itself is a little tatty it's still got one of the nicer beaches on the East Anglian coast. Not as nice as Southwold but I have good memories of Walton from when I was a little kid...


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## Griff (Nov 3, 2006)

kyser_soze said:
			
		

> but I have good memories of Walton from when I was a little kid...



Yeah, must admit it was always a treat to go to Walton as a nipper.


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## Ribbit (Nov 3, 2006)

portman said:
			
		

> It's nice to visit north Essex but I'm not sure I could live there. I much prefer the south as I find the people are more honest with you - no *wannabe* middle class pretension, just straight to the point!



I despise people from north Essex, BBC Essex and The Daily Mail.  Funnily enough they all go hand in hand.  (Yes, I know BBC Essex has its studio in Southend).

I do, however, love living in south Essex.  I was brought up on Canvey and though everyone mocks it, it's not the worst town (Tilbury, anyone?) in the county and I certainly never had any problems there and still don't when I go back.  I now live in Southend and though my location could be better, the town itself is okay, if you can avoid the kids.  Nice seafront, plenty of stuff to do and loads of places to walk.


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## Griff (Nov 3, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> I despise people from north Essex, BBC Essex and The Daily Mail.  Funnily enough they all go hand in hand.  (Yes, I know BBC Essex has its studio in Southend).



I live in North Essex now, and love the place.  

Can't remember the last time I saw a Daily Mail though. Each time the car radio switches to Radio Essex, they're talking about the weather.


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## Ribbit (Nov 3, 2006)

Sweeping generalisations.  Great, aren't they?


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## Griff (Nov 3, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> Sweeping generalisations.  Great, aren't they?



Yeah,  anyway I'm from East London originally so the general politeness and smiling happy faces of the North is a welcome change.


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## Ribbit (Nov 3, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> Yeah,  anyway I'm from East London originally so the general politeness and smiling happy faces of the North is a welcome change.



Oh, that'll be why my generalisation doesn't apply to you.


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## Griff (Nov 3, 2006)

I know where you're coming from, and after living in Epping for a number of years and seeing just what's happened to the place, I know where I prefer.

The local is great on a Friday night too.


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## kyser_soze (Nov 3, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> I despise people from north Essex, BBC Essex and The Daily Mail.  Funnily enough they all go hand in hand.  (Yes, I know BBC Essex has its studio in Southend).
> 
> I do, however, love living in south Essex.  I was brought up on Canvey and though everyone mocks it, it's not the worst town (Tilbury, anyone?) in the county and I certainly never had any problems there and still don't when I go back.  I now live in Southend and though my location could be better, the town itself is okay, if you can avoid the kids.  Nice seafront, plenty of stuff to do and loads of places to walk.



I'm from Witham which is North Essex and that's only a hlaf familiar picture. Altho someone who comes from a part of Essex that returned the well known liberal anti-bigoy Teddy Taylor is hardly in a position to talk about a Daily Mail tendency...


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 3, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> I despise people from north Essex, BBC Essex and The Daily Mail.  Funnily enough they all go hand in hand.  (Yes, I know BBC Essex has its studio in Southend).
> 
> I do, however, love living in south Essex.  I was brought up on Canvey and though everyone mocks it, it's not the worst town (Tilbury, anyone?) in the county and I certainly never had any problems there and still don't when I go back.  I now live in Southend and though my location could be better, the town itself is okay, if you can avoid the kids.  Nice seafront, plenty of stuff to do and loads of places to walk.




Oh, my uncle lived on Canvey.  It is a dump really though isn't it.  He lived near Hockley Woods before that


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 3, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> I despise people from north Essex, BBC Essex and The Daily Mail.  Funnily enough they all go hand in hand.  (Yes, I know BBC Essex has its studio in Southend).
> 
> I do, however, love living in south Essex.  I was brought up on Canvey and though everyone mocks it, it's not the worst town (Tilbury, anyone?) in the county and I certainly never had any problems there and still don't when I go back.  I now live in Southend and though my location could be better, the town itself is okay, if you can avoid the kids.  Nice seafront, plenty of stuff to do and loads of places to walk.




I do miss my daily walk along Eastern Esplanade


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## Ribbit (Nov 3, 2006)

Nothing wrong with Canvey.

And what has Teddy Taylor got to do with anything?  I didn't say people in Southend don't read the Mail, just that it's synonymous with middle-class wannabes.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 3, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> Nothing wrong with Canvey.




OK so


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## Augie March (Nov 7, 2006)

kyser_soze said:
			
		

> In fairness you've got Walton just up the road, and while the town itself is a little tatty it's still got one of the nicer beaches on the East Anglian coast. Not as nice as Southwold but I have good memories of Walton from when I was a little kid...



Lovely place Walton.

Many a wasted Sunday have I spent ten-pin bowling on Walton pier with mates. 

And don't forget dear old Frinton-on-Sea, full of dear old biddies who have elected to barricade themselves from the rest of civillisation.

They tried to shut down their one only fish and chip shop because it was attracting the 'wrong kind of crowd'.


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## Dhimmi (Nov 7, 2006)

Groucho said:
			
		

> Denise Outen (pictured above) is living proof of that. (She added the Van bit to make her name more exotic sounding).



Nonsense, her name comes from the Dutch for "Likes to travel in a transit".


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## kyser_soze (Nov 7, 2006)

Dr G - is the one and only pub in Frinton still open? I heard it had closed down due to lack of busiess after much huffing and puffing cos FoS is a dry town...


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## pengaleng (Nov 7, 2006)

wen ah last went back to sahffend ah was scareded cus everione was wite  ah fort ah was gona get stabbed


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## pengaleng (Nov 7, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> I do, however, love living in south Essex.  I was brought up on Canvey and though everyone mocks it, it's not the worst town (Tilbury, anyone?)



I'll see your Tilbury and raise you an Ockendon 

fuckinhell and Vange


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## Poi E (Nov 7, 2006)

portman said:
			
		

> Gourmet restuarant (The Bell) in Horndon-on-the-Hill ...



Where I started when I landed in England. The ladies in Stanford LH were friendlier.


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## Ribbit (Nov 8, 2006)

tribal_princess said:
			
		

> I'll see your Tilbury and raise you an Ockendon
> 
> fuckinhell and Vange



Pitsea!  ...Or the aptly named Basil*dump*.


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## haggy (Nov 8, 2006)

Ribbit said:
			
		

> Pitsea!  ...Or the aptly named Basil*dump*.



grays, anyone?  my home town.  recently read in martin lux's book 'antifascist' about the 1976 NF march through grays, which i recall as my first political event.
Lux's descriptions of grays are less than complementary... and he ain't wrong, sad to say.

when i was a nipper my playground was the chalk quarries that is now chafford hundred.  the landscape then (1970's) was reminiscent of tarkovsky's 'stalker' and a source of imagination and fantasy for kids during those long summer afternoons. 'progress' has seen it replaced by a barratt-style shoebox village.
if you want to see the mundane, suburban horror that the thames gateway regeneration will become visit chafford hundred...


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 8, 2006)

Don't forget Shoebury


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## Groucho (Nov 8, 2006)

haggy said:
			
		

> if you want to see the mundane, suburban horror that the thames gateway regeneration will become visit chafford hundred...



Indeed. 

The old cinema in Grays - a great Art Decco empty building - should be renovated and opened. The 19thC High Street turned into a 1970s pedestrianised shopping precinct with indoor shopping centre, Woolies, WHSmith's etc is like a throw back. I walked into Woolies expecting to see rows of vinyl - K-Tel records and so forth. Pleased to see they still stock Space Hoppers.


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Nov 8, 2006)

haggy said:
			
		

> has seen it replaced by a barratt-style shoebox village.
> if you want to see the mundane, suburban horror that the thames gateway regeneration will become visit chafford hundred...



Just don't go there - that's my advise.


----------



## Augie March (Nov 14, 2006)

kyser_soze said:
			
		

> Dr G - is the one and only pub in Frinton still open? I heard it had closed down due to lack of busiess after much huffing and puffing cos FoS is a dry town...



Think it's still there but then I've been away for a year so I might be wrong.

There's something very disturbing about the whole town if you ask me... people go in but I hear no-one ever leaves... it's all very local.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 14, 2006)

Dr Gonzo said:
			
		

> Think it's still there but then I've been away for a year so I might be wrong.
> 
> There's something very disturbing about the whole town if you ask me... people go in but I hear no-one ever leaves... it's all very local.




Didn't Frinton not even have a Fish and Chip shop?  (or am I getting it mixed up with somewhere else?)


----------



## portman (Nov 14, 2006)

Minnie_the_Minx said:
			
		

> Didn't Frinton not even have a Fish and Chip shop?  (or am I getting it mixed up with somewhere else?)



I'm not sure whether the worthy citizens of Frinton have now relented and there is a chippie in the town but the place was renowned for not having one. It was seen as having the potential to 'attract the wrong kind of person to the town'. For Gawds sake, even Southwold up in Suffolk which is as posh as anywhere can be has a fish and chip cafe - what makes a stifling, boring place like Frinton so special?!


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 14, 2006)

portman said:
			
		

> I'm not sure whether the worthy citizens of Frinton have now relented and there is a chippie in the town but the place was renowned for not having one. It was seen as having the potential to 'attract the wrong kind of person to the town'. For Gawds sake, even Southwold up in Suffolk which is as posh as anywhere can be has a fish and chip cafe - what makes a stifling, boring place like Frinton so special?!




Have googled and yes, they did get a fish and chip shop in 1992.  A few years ago the residents were up in arms as the owner of the chip shop wanted to sell ice-cream  

Here's an interesting link here

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4153/is_20020108/ai_n9547832

"People come to Frinton for what it has not got"


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Nov 14, 2006)

> "I'm 60 now, I won't live forever but *I'd like to be remembered as the man who brought ice creams back to Frinton*."


----------



## Augie March (Nov 16, 2006)

> "It took JD Wetherspoon, the pub chain, years of planning battles and a fortune in legal costs before they were allowed to open in a former ironmongers shop."



I have a new found respect now for Frinton residents after reading that...

JD Wetherspoon = The McDonald's of pubs.


----------



## PacificOcean (Nov 16, 2006)

The trouble with Essex is that it's served by the woeful ONE trains.

Despite being a busy station we get one bloody train an hour on Sundays here in Enfield Lock.

Boo!


----------



## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

PacificOcean said:
			
		

> The trouble with Essex is that it's served by the woeful ONE trains.
> 
> Despite being a busy station we get one bloody train an hour on Sundays here in Enfield Lock.
> 
> Boo!



We get 1 every half an hour where we are. During rush hour.


----------



## PacificOcean (Nov 16, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> We get 1 every half an hour where we are. During rush hour.



We only get two trains an hour during rush hour too, unless you want to go to Stratford.  

And ONE have started the habit of running short trains of four cars too which means if you are getting on at Tottenham Hale you are buggered.

Out of interest what is your station?


----------



## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

PacificOcean said:
			
		

> We only get two trains during rush hour too, unless you want to go to Stratford.
> 
> And ONE have started the habit of running short trains of four cars too which means if you are getting on at Tottenham Hale you are buggered.



You must be on the line my wife uses, as she goes through Tottenham Hale.

Luckily she always gets a seat in the morning on her way to Liverpool Street.

I haven't used the line myself yet, as I drive into work.


----------



## PacificOcean (Nov 16, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> You must be on the line my wife uses, as she goes through Tottenham Hale.
> 
> Luckily she always gets a seat in the morning on her way to Liverpool Street.
> 
> I haven't used the line myself yet, as I drive into work.



Are you on the Cambridge line?  Once you go past Harlow it's very nice that way.


----------



## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

PacificOcean said:
			
		

> Are you on the Cambridge line?



Yep, Newport.


----------



## Reg in slippers (Nov 16, 2006)

sir,

i should like to append this vintage frippery to the essex thread: http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=38605&highlight=essex

10/10 entertainment value


----------



## Griff (Nov 16, 2006)

Reg in slippers said:
			
		

> sir,
> 
> i should like to append this vintage frippery to the essex thread: http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=38605&highlight=essex
> 
> 10/10 entertainment value



That's a classic.  

I tried looking for that a while back, but thought it had been deleted. 

Thankfully not.


----------



## Reg in slippers (Nov 16, 2006)

many a happy childhood day spent digging up worms here


----------



## portman (Nov 17, 2006)

Griff said:
			
		

> That's a classic.
> 
> I tried looking for that a while back, but thought it had been deleted.
> 
> Thankfully not.



A classic thread indeed. Romford is my home town and I should feel obliged to defend the place but if the electorate insisit on voting for the likes of Rossindell as their MP, it makes it a bit difficult! But then again, politics, particularly local politics in Havering is a very strange, parochial, pull up the drawbridge beast - lots of independents and ratepayers.

Mind you when I left home, I ended up not taking a step up but a step down to the delights of Thurrock - which being a unitary borough isn't technically part of Essex anymore!


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Nov 17, 2006)

Reg in slippers said:
			
		

> sir,
> 
> i should like to append this vintage frippery to the essex thread: http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=38605&highlight=essex
> 
> 10/10 entertainment value



He's a wind-up merchant - he was brought up in Romford!
(Just read all the thread - it is funny)


----------



## portman (Nov 18, 2006)

Divisive Cotton said:
			
		

> He's a wind-up merchant - he was brought up in Romford!
> (Just read all the thread - it is funny)



...and those of us who had the dubious honour of being brought up in Romford are probably the best placed to make the most scathing comments on the place! After all it has changed a lot over the last 30 years...some changes for the best, others definitely for the worst. The decline of the once mighty Romford FC to the Essex Senior League being one of the changes for the worst IMHO...


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Nov 20, 2006)

portman said:
			
		

> ...and those of us who had the dubious honour of being brought up in Romford are probably the best placed to make the most scathing comments on the place! After all it has changed a lot over the last 30 years...some changes for the best, others definitely for the worst. The decline of the once mighty Romford FC to the Essex Senior League being one of the changes for the worst IMHO...




Did you work at Ford?


----------



## chio (Nov 20, 2006)

.


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Nov 20, 2006)

chio said:
			
		

> All the people I've met from Essex have been pillocks
> .



Which leaves the question - how do you know that somebody comes from Essex?


----------



## Augie March (Apr 6, 2009)

Bump up the Essex massive.


----------



## cliche guevara (Apr 6, 2009)

W00t!

I went to Tropical Wings in South Woodham Ferrers on Sunday, it was only then that I remebered quite how 'Essex' Essex can be.


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Apr 6, 2009)

ahhh South Woodham Ferrers... home of the plotlands movement before the war


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Apr 6, 2009)

Everybody, sing together!

A13, trunkroad to the sea!

If you ever have to go to Shoeburyness
Take the A road, the OK road that's the best
Go motorin' on the A13

If you're looking for a thrill that's new
Take in Fords , Dartford Tunnel and the river too
Go motorin' on the A13

It starts down in Wapping
There ain't no stopping
By-pass Barking and straight through Dagenham
Down to Grays Thurrock
And rather near Basildon
Pitsea, Thundersley, Hadleigh, Leigh-On-Sea,
Chalkwell, Prittlewell
Southend's the end

If you ever have to go to Shoeburyness
Take the A road, the OK road that's the best
Go motorin' on the A13


----------



## Griff (Sep 25, 2009)

Why oh why do people make these stupid fucking sweeping statements about 'being like Essex' or some such shit.

It's lazy and shit. Stop it.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 25, 2009)

a throwaway comment about the early internet being like essex has got you mad enough to start a thread.


----------



## jusali (Sep 25, 2009)

Ford Capri


----------



## bi0boy (Sep 25, 2009)

Griff said:


> Why oh why do people make these stupid fucking sweeping statements about 'being like Essex' or some such shit.
> 
> It's lazy and shit. Stop it.



It's not _always_ lazy and shit, that's a bit of a sweeping statement IMO. Sometimes things are just exactly like Essex.


----------



## Doppelgänger (Sep 25, 2009)

It's only becuase it is the "accepted" term to describe "chavness". I'm not saying it is correct, but you have to agree that if somebody makes a reference, most will understand straight away what is implied.


----------



## joustmaster (Sep 25, 2009)

was jade goody from essex


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

Boom Bye Bye like Buju I'm crucial. I'm an Essex boy; I may take some gettin' used to.

I love the place, but I never want to live there again for the rest of my life.  The day they tore down Hollywoods in Romford, they tore the beating heart out of Essex.


----------



## joevsimp (Sep 25, 2009)

joustmaster said:


> was jade goody from essex



just over the border in Broxbourne, Hertfordshire, although she did move to Essex once rich and moderately famous


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

joustmaster said:


> was jade goody from essex



I saw her in Pizza Hut in Romford once.  Giving it the big "I am", I recall, unchequered as I am by tabloid editor false memory syndrome.


----------



## Doppelgänger (Sep 25, 2009)

The new film Fish Tank doesn't give Essex a good image, but I suppose that it really could have been set anywhere.......


----------



## Griff (Sep 25, 2009)

bi0boy said:


> Sometimes things are just exactly like Essex.



What a stupid thing to say. This is what I mean, what the fuck are you taliking about?


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

Griff said:


> What a stupid thing to say. This is what I mean, what the fuck are you taliking about?


----------



## Drone Module (Sep 25, 2009)

Griff said:


> What a stupid thing to say. This is what I mean, what the fuck are you taliking about?



i always think Essex is quite a lot like Essex...if it wasn't it might end up being Aberdeen or something.


----------



## Griff (Sep 25, 2009)

joustmaster said:


> was jade goody from essex



Bermondsey, South East London.


----------



## PacificOcean (Sep 25, 2009)

joevsimp said:


> just over the border in Broxbourne, Hertfordshire, although she did move to Essex once rich and moderately famous



Your thinking of Posh Spice - though actually from Goffs Oak which is next to Broxbourne.


----------



## Griff (Sep 25, 2009)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> a throwaway comment about the early internet being like essex has got you mad enough to start a thread.



No, it's used a fair bit more than that on here I've noticed. Like I said, lazy. And of course an uninformed swweping generalisation.


----------



## PacificOcean (Sep 25, 2009)

Harlow.

Thread closed.


----------



## ddraig (Sep 25, 2009)

London


----------



## isvicthere? (Sep 25, 2009)

Griff said:


> Why oh why do people make these stupid fucking sweeping statements about 'being like Essex' or some such shit.
> 
> It's lazy and shit. Stop it.



I lived in Grays for three _very_ long years. It is the arsehole of the world, and every so-called cliche about it is, if anything, a polite understatement.
_
(I am aware, of course, the "Essex" stereotype actually applies to the Grays/Tilbury, Basildon, Canvey triangle, rather than the whole county)._


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

Griff said:


> Why oh why do people make these stupid fucking sweeping statements about 'being like Essex' or some such shit.
> 
> It's lazy and shit. Stop it.



Hear hear! I live in a village in a pretty rural area, and it couldn't be further from the stereotype. Personally I think parts of Essex are absolutely lovely.


----------



## DRINK? (Sep 25, 2009)

Romford / Illford tar the whole county in my opinion.....vile places full of worse people


----------



## Griff (Sep 25, 2009)

idioteque said:


> Hear hear! I live in a village in a pretty rural area, and it couldn't be further from the stereotype. Personally I think parts of Essex are absolutely lovely.



Yep, same here and wouldn't want to live anywhere else.


----------



## Gorgeous Dave (Sep 25, 2009)

Basvegas


----------



## quimcunx (Sep 25, 2009)

I saw something on telly where these two hairdressers from Essex said they did not live up to the stereotype and it was Romford girls that gave them the bad rep... (they looked like they'd be at home in romford to me but I may be generalising) 

I used to work with someone who lived around Wittam and said north essex was very nice but she was happy for it to be kept secret to keep property prices down.


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> I saw something on telly where these two hairdressers from Essex said they did not live up to the stereotype and it was Romford girls that gave them the bad rep... (they looked like they'd be at home in romford to me but I may be generalising)
> 
> I used to work with someone who lived around Wittam and said north essex was very nice but she was happy for it to be kept secret to keep property prices down.



Witham's not that far from me at all, it really is very nice round these parts


----------



## quimcunx (Sep 25, 2009)

It sounded nice. 

She was a tory though.  I can never forgive her for that.


----------



## isvicthere? (Sep 25, 2009)

Once (circa 1985) I was sitting on a bus in Chadwell St.Mary, and I slapped my wife on the arm in utter shock. A woman had got on who was not wearing stilettos.

True story. Though it may be different now.


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

LOL!!!!!!!! Stillettos!!!!! White ones!!!!! Magnificent stuff - are you coming up with this off the top of your head?  LOL!  My mum and the majority of my female friends are slags lol!


----------



## Griff (Sep 25, 2009)

idioteque said:


> Witham's not that far from me at all, it really is very nice round these parts



I'm about 35 miles North of you then.


----------



## FabricLiveBaby! (Sep 25, 2009)

I'm proud to say I've never owned a pair of white pointy stilettos.

But then I'm not from Essex.


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

Griff said:


> I'm about 35 miles North of you then.



I'm somewhere inbetween Witham and Colchester. You must be quite near the border with Suffolk then? Or is my perception of distance letting me down again....


----------



## Griff (Sep 25, 2009)

idioteque said:


> I'm somewhere inbetween Witham and Colchester. You must be quite near the border with Suffolk then? Or is my perception of distance letting me down again....



Yeah, Suffolk/Cambridge borders are both pretty close.


----------



## isvicthere? (Sep 25, 2009)

Sadken said:


> LOL!!!!!!!! Stillettos!!!!! White ones!!!!! Magnificent stuff - are you coming up with this off the top of your head?  LOL!  My mum and the majority of my female friends are slags lol!



Read the post, numbnuts...

1) Where did I say anything about _white_ stilettos?

2) What I recounted above is true. In the mid-80s it was genuinely an item of shock to see a young woman in Grays/Tilbury/Chadwell St. Mary in anything other than this footwear. Around the same time, I saw a woman in the doctor's surgery, who looked about 8 months pregnant, and even she was wearing them. But not white ones.

3) Don't put words into my mouth, about your mum being a slag, although I'm perfectly willing to take your word for it.


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

isvicthere? said:


> Read the post, numbnuts...
> 
> 1) Where did I say anything about _white_ stilettos?
> 
> ...



LOL, ALL women in Essex are the same!  THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!!!  LOLLAPALOOZA!!!!


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> I saw something on telly where these two hairdressers from Essex said they did not live up to the stereotype and it was Romford girls that gave them the bad rep... (they looked like they'd be at home in romford to me but I may be generalising)
> 
> I used to work with someone who lived around Wittam and said north essex was very nice but she was happy for it to be kept secret to keep property prices down.





idioteque said:


> Witham's not that far from me at all, it really is very nice round these parts



My home town. It's not bad. I couldn't wait to escape tho, to be fair.

Doesn't seem to have changed much since I left - it's a dormitory town, with a smattering of light/hitech industry (centre for design and assemblage of civilian and military radars apparently), M&G have a regional admin/management office there. Really the only big new thing is the enormous new estate on the SE edge of the town - it's effectively increased the towns population by 1/3, and gives me the chance to go past it and say 'I remember when all this was fields.'

Smelliest town in the UK on account of the sewage works on the eastern edge of the town.

Nice landscape, little pockets of nice people, otherwise you're in deep Daily Hate territory.


----------



## Metal Malcolm (Sep 25, 2009)

isvicthere? said:


> I lived in Grays for three _very_ long years. It is the arsehole of the world, and every so-called cliche about it is, if anything, a polite understatement.
> _
> (I am aware, of course, the "Essex" stereotype actually applies to the Grays/Tilbury, Basildon, Canvey triangle, rather than the whole county)._



Three? Lucky you. I lived in Tilbury/Chadwell for around Fourteen years.

a) At least in Grays you had a train station and didn't have to wait around for buses that never came.

b) Despite having moved there aged 4 I was still considered an outsider for most of my school life, mainly because I couldn't refer to at least 5 people as cousins.

c) Who ever said BasVegas. Yeah, that.


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> Smelliest town in the UK on account of the sewage works on the eastern edge of the town.
> 
> Nice landscape, little pockets of nice people, otherwise you're in deep Daily Hate territory.



Oooh, I've never noticed that, thankfully the latter doesn't seem to spread eastwards  (or the former, come to think of it)


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

You've been lucky! It's not just the sewage plant either - EEV and a couple of the electronics factories also emit interesting smells (one akin to pear acid drops) too.


----------



## weltweit (Sep 25, 2009)

So, nobody rates the "essex girl" myth then? akin to a blonde in more general parlance.


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

Essex girls are no more/less willing then girls (or indeed women) from any other part of the UK.


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

weltweit said:


> So, nobody rates the "essex girl" myth then? akin to a blonde in more general parlance.



In that "Essex women put out easily"? Well, it's pretty offensive on a few different levels to be honest but, no, I've never really bought into the idea that where someone lives or grew up is going to be a factor in how quickly they're prepared to have sex.  Unless she's from Newcastle, obviously.  I can tell you from first hand experience though - Essex women are pretty fucking tasty when it comes to saying "no" to sex.  My teens were blighted by the reality/common perception gap in that respect.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 25, 2009)

I like Essex, well the rural parts, the villages and that, the towns and urban areas, well, meh


----------



## fogbat (Sep 25, 2009)

Esseeeeex. 

Laaaaahndun.


----------



## PacificOcean (Sep 25, 2009)

Untill 1998 - where I live was part of Essex.

But when the Royal Small Arms Factory was raised and turned into housing AKA Enfield Island Village, it was transferred to Enfield.

Thus the boundary of Essex has now moved to the river I can see from my window.

That is all.


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

weltweit said:


> So, nobody rates the "essex girl" myth then? akin to a blonde in more general parlance.



The responses I got when I told people where I was from when I moved to uni got so fucking tiring.


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

Sadken said:


> In that "Essex women put out easily"? Well, it's pretty offensive on a few different levels to be honest but, no, I've never really bought into the idea that where someone lives or grew up is going to be a factor in how quickly they're prepared to have sex.  Unless she's from Newcastle, obviously.  I can tell you from first hand experience though - Essex women are pretty fucking tasty when it comes to saying "no" to sex.  My teens were blighted by the reality/common perception gap in that respect.



I have to say at this point that my experience of Essex girls as a teenager was quite different - but they were mainly from Colchester, so maybe that made a difference.

*sits at desk smiling at happy memories*


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> I have to say at this point that my experience of Essex girls as a teenager was quite different - but they were mainly from Colchester, so maybe that made a difference.
> 
> *sits at desk smiling at happy memories*



Yeah, well, I was an ugly nerd doofus.


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> but they were mainly from Colchester, so maybe that made a difference.



Oi!


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

Hey, maybe we hooked up? Ever go to Tootoos (awesome druggy 'rave' club just outside Colchester on Clacton Road, not as bad as the name makes it sound!) or the Hippodrome between 1988-92?


----------



## weltweit (Sep 25, 2009)

What is the name of that hotel / motel on the A126 (I think) outside Romford? Anyhow friday nights there were a real cattlemarket.


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> Hey, maybe we hooked up? Ever go to Tootoos (awesome druggy 'rave' club just outside Colchester on Clacton Road, not as bad as the name makes it sound!) or the Hippodrome between 1988-92?



I was born in '88 

Used to go to the Hippodrome every now and then though until it turned into a Liquid maybe 2 years ago


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

Epping Forest Country Club? 

Actually, I know the place you're talking about, but can't remember it's name.

Idioteque - I also used to attend the Copford Windmill around that period...

E2a - ah, just seen your last post...fucken youngster...


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

weltweit said:


> What is the name of that hotel / motel on the A126 (I think) outside Romford? Anyhow friday nights there were a real cattlemarket.



Palms.  

Look, EVERY town has several places like this though, don't they?  I've never been to a town that hasn't had at least one meatmarket nightclub thing.


----------



## PacificOcean (Sep 25, 2009)

idioteque said:


> I was born in '88
> 
> Used to go to the Hippodrome every now and then though until it turned into a Liquid maybe 2 years ago



*Kyser doing the maths*

If you were born in 1988 - that makes me....?

Dear God!


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> Epping Forest Country Club?
> 
> Actually, I know the place you're talking about, but can't remember it's name.
> 
> ...



Maybe you're my dad?


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

Ha ha...that's a scary, scary thought indeed...


----------



## MrSki (Sep 25, 2009)

Wasn't Lovejoy filmed in Essex/Suffolk borders?

That part at least looks nice enough.

I would fancy a pint with Tinker in some of the village pubs used in filming.

Mind you I met two of 5star in Romford in 1986. 

Last time I went to Romford. I wonder why?


----------



## weltweit (Sep 25, 2009)

Sadken said:


> Palms.
> 
> Look, EVERY town has several places like this though, don't they?  I've never been to a town that hasn't had at least one meatmarket nightclub thing.



Yes, The Palms that was it... 

Does every town have one? I dunno, I just ended up staying in the Palms one friday / sat night and was well a bit amazed tbh .. I am not sure the town I am living in at the moment has a meat market like that but perhaps I am only going to stumble upon it by accident now.


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

Everywhere there are single people there is a meatmarket kind of place - in smaller places it's a pub that has a 'disco', or the annual country fair, but the need for bad, unsatisfying sex to stave off another night of loneliness is universal.


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

I think Palms is just not the sort of place I would ever, ever want to stay at, really.  It's basically a nightclub with rooms to fuck in.


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

Actually, what the fuck am I saying?  I just booked a room for a month next summer.


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

The thing with those kinds of places is even tho they get a rep as being a place to get an easy lay, you still have to fucking _work_ at it. I mean it's not like turning up at an orgy and just getting your cock out and waiting for a hole to wander by.


----------



## Sadken (Sep 25, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> The thing with those kinds of places is even tho they get a rep as being a place to get an easy lay, you still have to fucking _work_ at it. I mean it's not like turning up at an orgy and just getting your cock out and waiting for a hole to wander by.



This is what I'm saying about Essex girls when I was growing up!  Do you know how massively disheartening it is to not get any sort of play whatsoever when literally every person you meet from another part of the country just can't blurt out how easy the women are where your from fast enough?  It's FUCKING disheartening.


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 25, 2009)

Ah yeah, I see what you mean now.


----------



## idioteque (Sep 25, 2009)

I never went, but Zest in Ipswich (Suffolk!) had hot tubs and beds in it, before it got closed down after multiple stabbings


----------



## dlx1 (Sep 25, 2009)

Basildon to get a sign like the Hollywood LA sign, Now that showes the town is class.
Epping Forest Country Club? 

more like Berwick manner


----------



## Nanker Phelge (Apr 30, 2015)

This has not been a very active thread for 6 years....so as good a time as any to reboot it....just a little

I'm DJing a free event in Harlow on Saturday if anyone fancies popping along....IT'S FREE ENTRY


----------



## stavros (May 2, 2015)

I suppose I ought to partake in this thread, being a recent immigrant to this lovely county.


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## stavros (May 5, 2015)

Out on my bike yesterday, I spotted a road marking which I think said "TdF? Reem!", the Tour having been here last year.


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## maomao (May 5, 2015)

stavros said:


> I suppose I ought to partake in this thread, being a recent immigrant to this lovely county.


Proper Essex or London Essex? I'm within the London borough of Havering but tell people I live in Essex and put it in my address. Me, you and SaskiaJayne can start demanding a subforum.


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## stavros (May 5, 2015)

Chelmsford, so proper Essex.

I have thought in the past that the South East should have its own forum exclusive of London, as the capital does dominate these parts. I've only been frequenting this particular forum since I moved down here six months ago, so maybe it's been raised before.


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## stavros (May 9, 2015)

I went out east to the Bradwell area for the first time today and quite enjoyed it. Very remote and I don't think I could live there, but very picturesque, excepting the nuclear power plant.


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## editor (Feb 7, 2017)

Here's some photos from Braintree. 
















Braintree: a look at deepest, dullest suburbia in Essex where modernism unexpectedly lurks


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## editor (Feb 7, 2017)

*merged


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## stavros (Feb 9, 2017)

There's some really nice countryside north of Braintree, towards and beyond Halstead and the Hedinghams. Excellent walking and cycling terrain.


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## MrSpikey (Feb 11, 2017)




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