# Very polite ways of telling a person in a managers position to fuck off



## sim667 (Nov 2, 2009)

Just had a particularly arsey email from someone claiming 'i went above their head' i.e. asked the people she's in charge of to do something, instead of asking her to ask her staffand generally being a bit of a cow...... Someone described her as 'our very own hitler'

anyway apparently she's got a habit of making your life miserable if she falls out with you, harassing you about your ID cards, taking photos of your car to send to your manager if its not parked straight in the car park..... all that jazz....

She's blatantly going to take it up with me in person, so i need a very polite way to tell her to fuck off in the professional sense.....

Im going for a job interview later this week, so if i get offered that I'll clearly tell to go fuck herself.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 2, 2009)

Careful. Think hard about taking the high ground and rising above it etc


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## danny la rouge (Nov 2, 2009)

sim667 said:


> anyway apparently she's got a habit of making your life miserable if she falls out with you, harassing you about your ID cards, *taking photos of your car to send to your manager if its not parked straight in the car park*..... all that jazz....



Then she makes herself look petty and stupid.  To everyone.


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## dessiato (Nov 2, 2009)

Apologise for offending her saying that you thought that she was so busy she didn't need bothering over something so small and that in future you will refer everything to her first. Then, no matter how trivial, do exactly this. She will soon get pissed off again, so you can then say that the last time you didn't refer to her she had been unhappy and that you didn't want to upset her again.


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## Santino (Nov 2, 2009)

Use her first name several times in a patronising way.


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 2, 2009)

*DID* you go above her head on purpose?


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## fractionMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Tell her you were to scared to talk to her after what everyone else has said about her.  _everyone_.


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 2, 2009)

fractionMan said:


> Tell her you were to scared to talk to her after what everyone else has said about her.  _everyone_.


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## sim667 (Nov 2, 2009)

Rutita1 said:


> *DID* you go above her head on purpose?



Not on purpose..... the lines of communication for her staff are completely unclear.......

I think ill just ignore her........ I've got better things to do with my spare time....

the only requests i make to her are on behalf of other people anyway, so ill just email them through with "request made on behalf of <blah blah>, please take any future correspondence up with them"

do you all think thats the best bet?

Ill start keeping of a record of her dickheadishness toward me, just incase it turns into harassment (I've already had to tell them I sold my mobile as one member of staff got hold of my number of my record, and rang me every ten minutes until i answered - even though it was my day off from this job)


God i hope i get this new job


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## sim667 (Nov 2, 2009)

fractionMan said:


> Tell her you were to scared to talk to her after what everyone else has said about her.  _everyone_.



That is tempting...... im also tempted to shit on her car 

Maybe if i get to hand my notice in....... I'll wait until they've done my references obviously.


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 2, 2009)

sim667 said:


> Not on purpose..... the lines of communication for her staff are completely unclear.......
> 
> I think ill just ignore her........ I've got better things to do with my spare time....
> 
> ...


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## berniedicters (Nov 2, 2009)

sim667 said:


> Just had a particularly arsey email from someone claiming 'i went above their head' i.e. asked the people she's in charge of to do something, instead of asking her to ask her staffand generally being a bit of a cow...... Someone described her as 'our very own hitler'
> 
> anyway apparently she's got a habit of making your life miserable if she falls out with you, harassing you about your ID cards, taking photos of your car to send to your manager if its not parked straight in the car park..... all that jazz....
> 
> ...



I'm a big fan of the "I'm sorry you found my actions so offensive..." non-apology followed by a flowerily worded restatement of my original views, and why I think I'm 110% right to have done what I did. You need a steady eye and a steely nerve to do it face to face, though.

The other part of this that would appeal to my nihilistic side would be to ensure she caught me in as many pettifogging transgressions as possible, so that she ended up shooting herself in the foot by going off in a frenzy of troublemaking over nothing that resulted in her pissing off the people she was dobbing you in to.

For example, try and arrange a meeting that means you're out of the office, but make sure your higher-ups know (I can begin to see why she is so touchy about people going over her head...), but don't tell her. Then when she grasses you up for not being around, they'll say "I know".

And more of the same. Be creative. Have an undeclared war.

Alternatively - and it's wise to consider this - if you're on your way out of the door anyway, be extra-nice, keep her sweet and mollify her, and do it knowing you won't have to put up with her for long.

I'd fantasise about the former approach and probably end up doing the latter


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## sim667 (Nov 2, 2009)

I think ill just leave it, especially if i move on.....

I've had run ins with her before...... once i didnt have a staff card (i'd just started and they hadn't given me one yet), second was when i had earphones in on my lunch break (health and safety risk )


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## nick h. (Nov 2, 2009)

Christ on a bike, what sort of organisation is it? Sounds like something out of Stalinist Russia.


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## sim667 (Nov 2, 2009)

nick h. said:


> Christ on a bike, what sort of organisation is it? Sounds like something out of Stalinist Russia.



An FE college

I think she is literally the only member of staff that is that shrewd...... the rest of the place is a complete shambles..... Its a college run by management at a distance, via email


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## temper_tantrum (Nov 2, 2009)

dessiato said:


> Apologise for offending her saying that you thought that she was so busy she didn't need bothering over something so small and that in future you will refer everything to her first. Then, no matter how trivial, do exactly this. She will soon get pissed off again, so you can then say that the last time you didn't refer to her she had been unhappy and that you didn't want to upset her again.



This, totally. To the point of actually looking for things to refer to her, just to up the ante.


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## likesfish (Nov 2, 2009)

with all due respect  sir/ma'm 

usually gets the message across


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## sim667 (Nov 2, 2009)

My line manager was cc'd into the arsey email.....

I think she's going to have a word as she wasnt happy as i was acting on her behalf.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 2, 2009)

sim667 said:


> My line manager was cc'd into the arsey email.....
> 
> I think she's going to have a word as she wasnt happy as i was acting on her behalf.



Do you feel like you've fucked up a bit?


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## kyser_soze (Nov 2, 2009)

What dessiato said, or just ignore her, even when she brings it up, move onto another topic of conversation.


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## FridgeMagnet (Nov 2, 2009)

If you asterisk out the "u" in "fuck", it becomes polite, and legally it doesn't count as an insult in any unfair dismissal cases or anything like that afterwards. That's true, that, a lawyer told me. It's the same if you call somebody a "c*nt" in an email.

"alleged c*nt" is even better


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## danny la rouge (Nov 2, 2009)

FridgeMagnet said:


> If you asterisk out the "u" in "fuck", it becomes polite, and legally it doesn't count as an insult in any unfair dismissal cases or anything like that afterwards. That's true, that, a lawyer told me. It's the same if you call somebody a "c*nt" in an email.


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## Jazzz (Nov 2, 2009)

focus on your new job. Don't give this silly woman your energy. I'd seek to avoid her


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## kyser_soze (Nov 2, 2009)

OR you could tell her that you'd had the flu vaccine and it had given you a bad case of going-over-her-head-itis.


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## danny la rouge (Nov 2, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> OR you could tell her that you'd had the flu vaccine and it had given you a bad case of going-over-her-head-itis.


I was drinking coffee when I read that, and spat some out of my nose.


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## FridgeMagnet (Nov 2, 2009)

or that you've actually _got_ the swine flu and it's making you a bit delirious but you can come round to her office to apologise at length in person, if she likes


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## Tacita (Nov 2, 2009)

sim667 said:


> Not on purpose..... the lines of communication for her staff are completely unclear.......



Is she distant from you or your direct line manager?


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## sim667 (Nov 3, 2009)

5t3IIa said:


> Do you feel like you've fucked up a bit?



I didnt fuck up, I was doing exactly as i was told..... and I was acting outside of my job description as a favour......

Its not the kind of bullshit i expect on the pittance that i get paid.


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## sim667 (Nov 3, 2009)

Tacita said:


> Is she distant from you or your direct line manager?



She's distant

I've got to email her about something else now (something i emailed her about 2 months ago, and a number of times since and have never had a response)

She never replies to emails or answers the phone hence i went straight to her staff


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 3, 2009)

sim667 said:


> I didnt fuck up, I was doing exactly as i was told..... and I was acting outside of my job description as a favour......
> 
> Its not the kind of bullshit i expect on the pittance that i get paid.



Her problem is with whoever you were doing the 'favour' for, isn't it? But what are you going to do? Say "But so-and-so made me do it!"


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 3, 2009)

sim667 said:


> She's distant
> 
> I've got to email her about something else now (something i emailed her about 2 months ago, and a number of times since and have never had a response)
> 
> *She never replies to emails or answers the phone hence i went straight to her staff*



This could be your 'tack' then. 

I persoanlly would make it clear this is why I went to her staff. She can't argue if she doesn't respond to your emails etc.


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## sim667 (Nov 3, 2009)

Rutita1 said:


> This could be your 'tack' then.
> 
> I persoanlly would make it clear this is why I went to her staff. She can't argue if she doesn't respond to your emails etc.



Good plan.....

no-one here ever replies to email, its the only place ive ever worked where a 5 minute job ends up taking 3 months.

anyway, fingers crossed for the interview on thursday...... although i am planning on asking for possible ammendments to the contract which might put them off


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## Corax (Nov 21, 2009)

Meet with her face to face, smile and nod lots when she rants at you, then absent-mindedly wander off out the room when she's mid-flow.


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## Yelkcub (Nov 21, 2009)

Bone here, obviously.


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## Corax (Nov 21, 2009)

Yelkcub said:


> Bone here, obviously.



I do have that effect on people.


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## berniedicters (Nov 21, 2009)

Corax said:


> Meet with her face to face, smile and nod lots when she rants at you, then absent-mindedly wander off out the room when she's mid-flow.


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## Yelkcub (Nov 21, 2009)

Corax said:


> I do have that effect on people.



Nice use of my typo!


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## 1927 (Nov 21, 2009)

Sounds like you went beneath her rather than over her head, if I read the Op correctly. If anyone has been out of order imho its her for copying your superior into her email. Is she on same level, below or above you.


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