# Annoying Adverts of 2011



## QueenOfGoths (Jan 10, 2011)

A new year so thought I'd follow on from minnie-the minx's thread with a new thread....plus the fact I can't currently find the remote so am watching the adverts rather than flicking

That money/holiday/travel supermarket one with Jedward - fuck the fuck off, really 

Ryvita (this was from last year as well I think but I've just seen it) "goes with everything" - get your fucking cardboard biscuit out of my soup you annoying woman!


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## Pickman's model (Jan 10, 2011)

the new compare the market.com ad


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## QueenOfGoths (Jan 10, 2011)

Pickman's model said:


> the new compare the market.com ad


 
Is that the one with the meerkat village? Yeah, the 'joke' has gone too far now as far as meerkats are concerned


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## Pickman's model (Jan 10, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Is that the one with the meerkat village? Yeah, the 'joke' has gone too far now as far as meerkats are concerned


 
yeh. i want to go on safari with a fucking m60 and go to a meerket village and kill the fucking lot of them after watching one of those ads.


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## southside (Jan 10, 2011)

Jedward are getting too much attention at the moment.


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## gentlegreen (Jan 10, 2011)

I can guarantee it will be either cosmetics or dettol.


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## southside (Jan 10, 2011)

Go compare?

Go figure?

Go fuck yourself.


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## colacubes (Jan 10, 2011)

The fucking confused.com advert can fuck the fuck off as well.


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## ymu (Jan 10, 2011)

More Than Freeman.


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## IC3D (Jan 10, 2011)

The John Prescot one is annoying on a number of levels.


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## janeb (Jan 10, 2011)

Cat Deeley swishing her fucking hair


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## gentlegreen (Jan 10, 2011)

The one advert that guarantees I reach for the remote is the fecking Redknapps - tough I know they used it last year.

I'm mostly immune to the rest and just laugh at the daft bints who spend their entire lives worrying about their hair - presumably most of the people who buy the dye and shampoo actually have other interests as well ?

Dettol adverts almost always make me swear at the TV.


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## red rose (Jan 11, 2011)

What the hell is the new Butlins advert about, it's essentially just a big green monster singing Dust in the Wind 

That one for the Marks and Sparks low fat ready meals with Caroline Quentin being a smug fucking bitch, *really* makes my blood boil 


Ooooh I didn't realise how bothered I was by that


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## lizzieloo (Jan 11, 2011)

The go compare man is so out of tune it makes me want to jam knitting needles into my ears.


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## lizzieloo (Jan 11, 2011)

red rose said:


> What the hell is the new Butlins advert about, it's essentially just a big green monster singing Dust in the Wind



That made me so sad the first time i watched it i have to turn over if it comes on now


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## Hocus Eye. (Jan 11, 2011)

The trailers for the Ice Dancing programme drive me mad. They are so loud and vulgar. I had to put up with those while I stayed with my mother over Christmas. She likes a lot of ITV1 programmes and has the volume up very loud. Those DFS adverts are annoying - too many repeated phrases, they tire me out.


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## Artaxerxes (Jan 11, 2011)

red rose said:


> What the hell is the new Butlins advert about, it's essentially just a big green monster singing Dust in the Wind



Pedo camp


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## Buddy Bradley (Jan 11, 2011)

ymu said:


> More Than Freeman.


 
I think those are really clever, actually - a stupid pun makes it a memorable advert.


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## The Octagon (Jan 11, 2011)

What's the disturbing one with rollerskating babies?

Kill it with fire


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## gentlegreen (Jan 11, 2011)

Fecking Boots advert.

Two women meet in street with camped-up colds comparing just how busy they are and presumably why it's OK to spread their filthy germs everywhere .. ends with one of them saying how her other half's actually in bed - "poor thing". Patronising stereotype of helpless male needing mothering.

Cut to a huge collection of useless patent medicines.


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## Gerry1time (Jan 11, 2011)

red rose said:


> That one for the Marks and Sparks low fat ready meals with Caroline Quentin being a smug fucking bitch, *really* makes my blood boil



The xmas one was the peak of evil for that series, where she'd bought her niece a smoked haddock and french cheese something or other because said niece 'had been traveling'.

What, to fucking Calais?


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## machine cat (Jan 11, 2011)

red rose said:


> That one for the Marks and Sparks low fat ready meals with Caroline Quentin being a smug fucking bitch, *really* makes my blood boil


 
I'm going to hunt down and kill you just for mentioning that fucking advert


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## Espresso (Jan 11, 2011)

There is a pair of adverts for the Co-Op that really get on my wick. One featuring a man talking through the screen to his wife, telling her he doesn't want to go to the supermarket on Saturdays, he wants to spend the morning in bed with her or with them both going to the park with the kids to feed the ducks and such. 
The one with his wife in has her agreeing with him through the screen, telling him that she also thinks that spending all bloody day on a Saturday going shopping is a waste of time. But she doesn't want to spend time with him and the kids. Oh God, no. She wants to go to the gym and go and get her nails done.

What? I meantersay - What? 
Men who yearn for the Co-Op are family men who like their conjugal rights are married to women who yearn for the Co-Op and have no interest in such family and sexy stuff. Are the Co-Op selling DIY divorce packs now, or what?


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## andy2002 (Jan 11, 2011)

Those ads for something or other that seems to think the word 'wonga' is the coolest, funniest thing EVER!!!


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## xsunnysuex (Jan 11, 2011)

If I see Martine McCutcheon advertising Activia one more time.  My telly's taking flying lessons.


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## Wolfie Smith (Jan 11, 2011)

The 'James Bond titles-esque' Virgin Atlantic one with it's sleazy 1970's-style sexism really does take the biscuit.


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## Lord Camomile (Jan 11, 2011)

ymu said:


> More Than Freeman.


I laughed embarrassingly hard the first time I saw that  It was just the notion of being there when the idea first dawned on them.

"Y'know who would be great? Morgan Freeman. If More Than could get Morgan Free... Wait... hang on, would that wor... could we... OH MY GOD!!!"


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jan 11, 2011)

We Dream About It bollox seems to be showing its face again


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## Lord Camomile (Jan 11, 2011)

I generally have no problem with the Redknapps they seem to be nice and are fairly inoffensive, but that ad was a _huge_ misstep...


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jan 11, 2011)

Lord Camomile said:


> I generally have no problem with the Redknapps they seem to be nice and are fairly inoffensive, but that ad was a _huge_ misstep...



Ah, I knew it was a footballer and his wife but I couldn't remember their name.

Don't mind them.  It's the advert I hate


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## madamv (Jan 12, 2011)

We buy any car dot com, dot com, dot com, dot com, ...

Rave safe kids...


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jan 12, 2011)

Sheila's Wheels seems to be popping up again.  Hate that one as well


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## gentlegreen (Jan 12, 2011)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> We Dream *Abadd* It bollox seems to be showing its face again


corrected for you.


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## Augie March (Apr 6, 2011)

Jenson Button in that Head & Shoulders advert. 

Racing... spacing... bracing... fisting... bleeding... dying.


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## gentlegreen (Apr 7, 2011)

Anyone else find the Boots advert "not tonight, I've got a headache" distinctly iffy ?


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Apr 7, 2011)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Sheila's Wheels seems to be popping up again.  Hate that one as well


 
surley they are fucked now that car insurance cant disciminate.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Apr 7, 2011)

My daughter can now sing the whole of the "I like old movies" song. Christ. We dont even watch that much TV.


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## emanymton (Apr 7, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> Anyone else find the Boots advert "not tonight, I've got a headache" distinctly iffy ?


 
Yep.

Anyway I hate the one for some razor where they guy starts of storming loudly into the bathroom as if saving was the most important and dramatic thing in the world.


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## marty21 (Apr 7, 2011)

All shaving ads , the Gillette super turbo charged 10 - they can fuck the fuck off .


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## mentalchik (Apr 7, 2011)

Those Halifax ads......

those people in some sort of weird Halifax radio station (who are they broadcasting to ??)......both make me want to visit violence on them


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## marty21 (Apr 7, 2011)

mentalchik said:


> Those Halifax ads......
> 
> those people in some sort of weird Halifax radio station (who are they broadcasting to ??)......both make me want to visit violence on them


 
isa isa baby


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## mentalchik (Apr 7, 2011)

marty21 said:


> isa isa baby







(makes me want to kill kill kill)


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## rekil (Apr 7, 2011)

The one with actors pretending to be comedians. I don't even know what it's for.


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## susie12 (Apr 7, 2011)

And that old not favourite, the ghastly gurning BT couple - oh and the silly stick thin bitch with her ton of Galaxy secreted about her flat.


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## The Octagon (Apr 7, 2011)

copliker said:


> The one with actors pretending to be comedians. I don't even know what it's for.


 
Ikea, it's spectacularly shit and overlong isn't it?


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## rekil (Apr 7, 2011)

The Octagon said:


> Ikea, it's spectacularly shit and overlong isn't it?


 And on every 30 minutes, and too loud, and an excruciatingly wank pastiche of the wankiest type of stand up.


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## Augie March (Apr 7, 2011)

It is an awful advert, although I quite liked the 'Kitchen at Parties' adverts they did.


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## Lord Camomile (Apr 8, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> Anyone else find the Boots advert "not tonight, I've got a headache" distinctly iffy ?


 


emanymton said:


> Yep.


Yup.


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## gentlegreen (Apr 8, 2011)

I was reminded elsewhere that it's an escalation of the wrongness of their "Man flu" one back in the winter.
(woman in street "soldiering on" while him indoors is in bed)


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## Bakunin (Apr 8, 2011)

xsunnysuex said:


> My telly's taking flying lessons.


 
You are Robert Plant and I claim my five pounds.


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## Part 2 (Apr 8, 2011)

I don't see many adverts, I'm a flicker generally speaking but I just saw Lionel Richie selling Walkers crisps.


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## Ceej (Apr 9, 2011)

I truly hate that cheesy couple advertising Co-Op - naff on every possible level. I watched them both about 30 times before I registered that they were linked and what it was for.


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## andy2002 (Apr 27, 2011)

I find the smug, 'ooh aren't we clever' Heineken advert the most grating right now, especially the shit-awful song that accompanies it. You can almost hear the ad scum that came up with it slapping themselves on the back when it airs.


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## dylanredefined (Apr 27, 2011)

There is one selling something to do with dishwashers and has a huge pile of food waste in it makes me want to vomit


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## geminisnake (May 6, 2011)

I am on the verge of finding out where the Iphone factory is and bombing it!! If you haven't got an Iphone, you haven't got an Iphone. What??? No SHIT Sherlock!! Guess what?? I don't fucking want one!!


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## editor (May 6, 2011)

"If you haven't got an iPhone, well you haven't got an iPhone"

Cheers for stating the obvious Mr SmugCunt.


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## nastybobby (May 7, 2011)

'What's in O2's mind', goat-boy one. These advertising types must be taking loads of really shit drugs to think up that lame nonsense.

The Fosters, 'agony uncles' one. Not funny the first time and gets less funny with every viewing.


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## andy2002 (May 7, 2011)

nastybobby said:


> The Fosters, 'agony uncles' one. Not funny the first time and gets less funny with every viewing.



There's a bloke at work who reckons those ads are 'genius' - hanging's too good for him, really it is.


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## twentythreedom (May 9, 2011)

mentalchik said:


> Those Halifax ads......
> 
> those people in some sort of weird Halifax radio station (who are they broadcasting to ??)......both make me want to visit violence on them



I want to violently murder and chop up with a machete the girl who puts "Ice Ice Baby" on and then does that thing with her neck. It actually disturbs me somewhat whenenver I see it, I feel distinctly uncomfortable even thinking about it 

Other thing in that ad, you can tell the bloke's actually thinking "You fucking weirdo" when he's looking at her.


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## QueenOfGoths (May 9, 2011)

nastybobby said:


> 'What's in O2's mind', goat-boy one. These advertising types must be taking loads of really shit drugs to think up that lame nonsense.
> 
> The Fosters, 'agony uncles' one. Not funny the first time and gets less funny with every viewing.



Yeah both of those are very annoying


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## twentythreedom (May 9, 2011)

mentalchik said:


> Those Halifax ads......
> 
> those people in some sort of weird Halifax radio station (who are they broadcasting to ??)......both make me want to visit violence on them



and they're all _so fucking happy_ :fuming:


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## gentlegreen (May 9, 2011)

"Not ready to take drastic measures for firmer skin yet ?"
.


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## EastEnder (May 9, 2011)

editor said:


> "If you haven't got an iPhone, well you haven't got an iPhone"
> 
> Cheers for stating the obvious Mr SmugCunt.


The attitude conveyed by that advert exemplifies exactly why I'll never own an iPhone.

It's very condescending and clearly aimed at the sort of people who mindlessly spend their lives jumping on bandwagons, having their hair styled to look like Rachel out of "Friends" or buying sunglasses to match the ones David Beckham was pictured wearing in Heat magazine.


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## joustmaster (May 9, 2011)

there was that overly produced advert staring George Clooney and John Malkovich. For a coffee machine I think.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2011)

Nespresso. What else?


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## ChrisFilter (May 9, 2011)

EastEnder said:


> The attitude conveyed by that advert exemplifies exactly why I'll never own an iPhone.
> 
> It's very condescending and clearly aimed at the sort of people who mindlessly spend their lives jumping on bandwagons, having their hair styled to look like Rachel out of "Friends" or buying sunglasses to match the ones David Beckham was pictured wearing in Heat magazine.


 
You need to update your cultural reference points


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## Pickman's model (May 9, 2011)

EastEnder said:


> The attitude conveyed by that advert exemplifies exactly why I'll never own an iPhone.
> 
> It's very condescending and clearly aimed at the sort of people who mindlessly spend their lives jumping on bandwagons, having their hair styled to look like Rachel out of "Friends" or buying sunglasses to match the ones David Beckham was pictured wearing in Heat magazine.


 
police sunglasses i think you'll find


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## T & P (May 9, 2011)

I'd said it many times on similar threads, and I'll say it once more: all the 'hilarious' T-mobile ads about flash mobs, whether it be at Trafalgar Square or the arrivals lounge at Heathrow. Fuck off already you fucking cunts.


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## Pseudopsycho (May 10, 2011)

choo-choo-choose the trainline


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## Augie March (May 17, 2011)

andy2002 said:


> I find the smug, 'ooh aren't we clever' Heineken advert the most grating right now, especially the shit-awful song that accompanies it. You can almost hear the ad scum that came up with it slapping themselves on the back when it airs.



The band behind it is called The Asteroids Galaxy Tour and with a name like that, you can't fail to be spectacularly shit. 

Here's a fun game. Try listening to the full length video and then time at point in the song that your brain, implausibly and against all laws of nature, implodes in on itself just to avoid the awfulness.


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## DotCommunist (May 18, 2011)

If I have to hear that northern monkey from barneys sarnies extolling the virtues of his bacon sandwiches one more time I may firebomb the transmitter that broadcasts Corby Radio ('our local community radio. Call oh-double one double eight. Oh double one, double eaight)

argh local radio


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## Augie March (May 18, 2011)

"My name is Hector Riva, welcome to my world."

Fuck you Hector and your world. I bet winning the EuroMillions was just a cover for the fact that you actually became rich through peddling drugs to children and mass people trafficking across Eastern Europe. 

Your world is built on human misery and suffering Mr Riva, make a pun out of that you fictional faux millionaire cunt.


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## smmudge (May 18, 2011)

It's not often that an advert gets on my tits, and I watch a lot of adverts. But those J2O ones are really starting to get on my tits.


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## gentlegreen (May 28, 2011)

Am I the only one who finds those "portrait Professional" flash adverts creepy ?
Why would anyone *want *a "perfect" photo that makes them look like a Barbie doll in a horror movie ?

They're defeating my individual site blocking software.


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## Espresso (May 29, 2011)

smmudge said:


> It's not often that an advert gets on my tits, and I watch a lot of adverts. But those J2O ones are really starting to get on my tits.


 
I agree. That beardy man is in sore need of a number of severe smacks round the chops. 

And as for the miniature talking dog in a jewellry box, advertising sausages - that gives me the creeps.


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## killer b (May 29, 2011)

you guys need to try chidren's ITV for the most loathsome adverts. this shit pales in comparison.


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## Termite Man (May 30, 2011)

has anyone got a link for the 'racist' cadburys ad that naomi campbell is suing them for?


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## Part 2 (May 30, 2011)

This?


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## danny la rouge (May 30, 2011)

Termite Man said:


> has anyone got a link for the 'racist' cadburys ad that naomi campbell is suing them for?


Googled the story: http://www.thedrum.co.uk/news/2011/05/30/21985-naomi-campbell-brands-cadbury-advert-racist-/

Am I missing something?  How is it racist?


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## Augie March (May 31, 2011)

It's not racist. It's Naomist.


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## D'wards (May 31, 2011)

That cunt Lee Jasper has got right on the case - demanding black people boycott Cadburys and writing to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson for them to roll it out across the US.

I really hope they tell him to piss off and grow up and stop undermining proper anti-racism work with this shit.


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## mojothemonkey (May 31, 2011)

*ALL the Boots Adverts*

Excuse the rant before I start, I hope I'm not the only person who has noticed the inconsistent and somwhat twisted relationships going on in the Boots adverts.  

Lets start with the Bloke who's just got married in the hayfever advert, he appears to be sleeping with the tall thin brown short haired lady (the one he shakes the tablets at), going on dates with the Blonde lady (sports two new looks performs the unfunny thing with the mirror at the end) and living with/has children with the woman with the big hat in the hayfever advert.  Just to top it off, the skinny brown haired woman tells the big hat lady to send her best to this said husband in the cold advert, how bitchy's that!!  That's just for starters.  

The black guy with the glasses who's the best man at the wedding, was sniffing the quiet girl (who lives with skinny brown hair) at valentines day for perfume, and pops round to visit unfunny Blonde's parents (while he fails to make garden furniture).  Whilst we're on the case of the Blonde girl, she apparently has two jobs, a call centre and waitressing, whilst waitressing she serves a couple who turn out to be her parents in a later advert (her dad can't see the menu in the restraunt).

I've whinged and moaned enough here, but seriously Boots, why introduce this pleasant group of friends if you're not going to go along with continuity.

I used to do Media Studies, so analysing adverts has become second nature to me, I know I'm sad the other half tells me so.  Sorry for any spelling errors etc. 

Please tell me I'm not the only person to have spotted this.


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## gentlegreen (Jun 1, 2011)

Very impressive first post. 

I haven't seen all the adverts yet - must be watching the wrong channels.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 1, 2011)

mojothemonkey said:


> Excuse the rant before I start, I hope I'm not the only person who has noticed the inconsistent and somwhat twisted relationships going on in the Boots adverts.
> 
> Lets start with the Bloke who's just got married in the hayfever advert, he appears to be sleeping with the tall thin brown short haired lady (the one he shakes the tablets at), going on dates with the Blonde lady (sports two new looks performs the unfunny thing with the mirror at the end) and living with/has children with the woman with the big hat in the hayfever advert.  Just to top it off, the skinny brown haired woman tells the big hat lady to send her best to this said husband in the cold advert, how bitchy's that!!  That's just for starters.
> 
> ...


 
yeas, but these adverts are snapshots- not coherent narratives. What happens off camera? the woman changes jobs.

Its like the BT couple- wtf is thier relationship about. He's after the kids.


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## Corax (Jun 2, 2011)

Termite Man said:


> has anyone got a link for the 'racist' cadburys ad that naomi campbell is suing them for?


 


Chip Barm said:


> This?


 


danny la rouge said:


> Googled the story: http://www.thedrum.co.uk/news/2011/05/30/21985-naomi-campbell-brands-cadbury-advert-racist-/
> 
> Am I missing something?  How is it racist?


 


D'wards said:


> That cunt Lee Jasper has got right on the case - demanding black people boycott Cadburys and writing to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson for them to roll it out across the US.
> 
> I really hope they tell him to piss off and grow up and stop undermining proper anti-racism work with this shit.


 
I'm glad it's not just me.

I read a column by anti-semitic cow Christina Patterson in which she ranked the advert alongside James Brown calling someone a "nigger's bitch" at the BAFTAs.


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## gerrard100 (Jun 2, 2011)

j20 ads, halifax ads, hector riva cunt and anybody seen the new matalan advert where it keeps spinning round? any1 else get dizzy by that shit


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## QueenOfGoths (Jun 22, 2011)

The current Sunbites advert - mainly 'cos i have no idea who the girl in it is so I don't really care who her Grandma, Auntie etc.. is. Plus they look and taste like corragated cardboard that has fallen into a bucket of chilli powder.


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## twentythreedom (Jun 22, 2011)

The current crop of injurylawyers4u adverts are somewhat troubling. It's the older goon in the glasses, the sensible but steely solicitor type that really gets me. Although all look like total cunts.


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## gentlegreen (Jun 23, 2011)

On the way home I passed an Autoscreen van with two blokes replacing a windscreen. 

Ironically the earworm I have at this moment is the Quickfit advert.


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## smmudge (Jun 23, 2011)

That woman in the kenco ads going on about her vintage fucking pushbike and her roll top fucking bath and her shit taste in coffee.


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## ymu (Jun 23, 2011)

I have to confess to quite liking the new Old Spice one. 

/off-topic


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## rubbershoes (Jun 23, 2011)

gerrard100 said:


> j20 ads, halifax ads, hector riva cunt and anybody seen the new matalan advert where it keeps spinning round? any1 else get dizzy by that shit


 
welcome aboard gerrard 

and mojo


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## Termite Man (Jun 23, 2011)

who or what is hector riva ?


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## andy2002 (Jun 23, 2011)

ymu said:


> I have to confess to quite liking the new Old Spice one.
> 
> /off-topic


 
Yes, that one and the 'You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties' ad are the only ones I can abide.


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## ymu (Jun 23, 2011)

Don't know the kitchen one. The TV doesn't get a lot of attention, but the Old Spice bloke grabbed it this morning.


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## rubbershoes (Jun 23, 2011)

Termite Man said:


> who or what is hector riva ?


 
national lottery ad

don't youtube it or you'll hate it like we do


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## smmudge (Jun 23, 2011)

haha I love the old spice guy. It's sad but i do always titter a little at the horse bit


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## smmudge (Jul 11, 2011)

Those Direct Line ads are awful. They try so hard and not even close to being funny. I'm quite embarrassed for them tbh.


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## Augie March (Jul 11, 2011)

I'm not sure why exactly, but this advert makes me want to grind my teeth until there is nothing left but the nerve endings and then use hot tweezers to pull them out one by one.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 11, 2011)

Jesus wept that is just terrible in just about every single way from the "things I'm loving right now" to the facebook ending.


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## Augie March (Jul 11, 2011)

I'm hoping that it will be followed up with a second advert with a dishevelled looking Keely mumbling incoherently about more things that she loves which now include smoking crack, punching kittens and sado-masochism, before smearing her face with Kenco coffee and laughing manically at herself in a cracked mirror.


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## gentlegreen (Jul 12, 2011)

I want to take her and her vintage bike 25 miles from home and dump them there _sans _money or mobile phone on a rainy day and leave her to get home.


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## vauxhallmum (Jul 12, 2011)

In the Tena lady 'whoops I got my skirt caught in the lift door' advert, the woman recounts the hilarious happening to her office friend. Is it my imagination or is she actually wetting herself  Whoops indeed.


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## gentlegreen (Jul 12, 2011)

These women - they only need to *look *at a water cooler ...


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## Termite Man (Jul 12, 2011)

rubbershoes said:


> national lottery ad
> 
> don't youtube it or you'll hate it like we do


 

it was on tele just now but I was too busy ordering a turntable to pay much attention.


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## rover07 (Jul 12, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> These women - they only need to *look *at a water cooler ...
> 
> View attachment 16296



I watched this the other day and expected her to reach up under her dress and pull out a mooncup.


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## captainmission (Jul 12, 2011)

smmudge said:


> Those Direct Line ads are awful. They try so hard and not even close to being funny. I'm quite embarrassed for them tbh.



and the underlying message seems to be directline thinks it customers are absolute idiots


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## andy2002 (Jul 12, 2011)

The advert in which the woman says: "I'm addicted to my iPhone." Don't know what it's for but it's the work of the devil and makes me very cross indeed.


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## The Octagon (Jul 13, 2011)

captainmission said:


> and the underlying message seems to be directline thinks it customers are absolute idiots


 
"We don't advertise on price-comparison websites"

Well then I'm never going to see a quote from you am I?


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## QueenOfGoths (Aug 10, 2011)

match.com....the girl on the platform thinks you are a stalker, fuck off!


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## Augie March (Aug 21, 2011)




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## smmudge (Aug 21, 2011)

People are fucking strange sometimes aren't they!


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## gentlegreen (Aug 22, 2011)

I feel soiled after watching just teeny bits of those videos. 

I have to try to sleep now.


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## Mrs Magpie (Aug 22, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> patent medicines.


  It's a long time since I've heard that phrase. Loads of people have no idea what it means.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 22, 2011)

Mrs Magpie said:


> It's a long time since I've heard that phrase. Loads of people have no idea what it means.


Frightening that we've still got companies making up concoctions with aspirin, synthetic lemon flavour and caffeine and selling them as "cold cures"

Your mentioning that made me think of this :-


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## gentlegreen (Aug 24, 2011)

My hatred of all things "beauty" and "fashion" aren't exactly a secret, but surely I'm not the only one who is depressed that L'Oréal is able to use the tagline "Inspired By The Science Of Genes"

WTF ??/?


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## smmudge (Aug 27, 2011)

wtf is up with that haribo advert?? I do an IRL facepalm everytime it comes on.


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## savoloysam (Aug 27, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> match.com....the girl on the platform thinks you are a stalker, fuck off!



Urrrrgh, the older one was worse. Two people fell in love simply because they had similar tastes in films. Instant chemistry is yours for a £50 a month subscription


----------



## K1ck3m0n (Aug 28, 2011)

smmudge said:


> wtf is up with that haribo advert?? I do an IRL facepalm everytime it comes on.


I thought it must be a spoof the first time I saw it. It's the antithesis of The Natural Confectionery Company ads - they sell sweets well


----------



## madzone (Aug 28, 2011)

smmudge said:


> wtf is up with that haribo advert?? I do an IRL facepalm everytime it comes on.



I want to kill everyone in it.


----------



## smmudge (Aug 28, 2011)

madzone said:


> I want to kill everyone in it.



I hear that.

It does seem like it's taking the piss out of something...


----------



## Plumdaff (Aug 28, 2011)

smmudge said:


> Those Direct Line ads are awful. They try so hard and not even close to being funny. I'm quite embarrassed for them tbh.



It's not that I'm angry with all involved, I'm just embarrassed for them.


----------



## savoloysam (Aug 28, 2011)

What with those adverts that insinuate that you can be a big hard man but only if you eat their chocolate or sweets. Marathon, Revels, Fruit Pastels. WTF is that all about?


----------



## Ceej (Aug 31, 2011)

And there's always new ones to irritate the feck out of you...

This weeks's offerings are the short-term 'slider' loans one with the rubber oldies and 4 million % interest.....and the Godfather KFC one.

Relevance? To anything at all? Anyone?


----------



## Sigmund Fraud (Aug 31, 2011)

Philadelphia cheese.  Two men pretending that scooping mahoosive, half tub lumps of high fat soft cheese, mixing with strawberries 'until the philadelphia goes pink' and dumping resultant soft cheese / strawberry mix onto a shop bought meringue base constitutes culinary proficiency.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Aug 31, 2011)

On a culinary theme I find super-smug Marco Pierre-White hawking stock cubes whilst smarming at slebs and WI Oberführers intensely annoying


----------



## gentlegreen (Aug 31, 2011)

This slightly hyper, borderline passive-aggressive eHarmony woman makes it clear why I failed their psychological test - twice.


----------



## gentlegreen (Aug 31, 2011)




----------



## Ted Striker (Aug 31, 2011)

The injury lawyer parasite one with Jo Pasquale, my TV only remains intact due the seconds I have the image that Pasquale himself has been in an accident. Each time I pray the next one's fatal.

I'm actually growing a soft spot for the ridiculous double glazing one that has some northern wierdo (that makes the wonga.com cabbie rapist look like Shakespeare) bellowing nothing more than "(I say) you buy one get one free". Every time I never know if the boardroom conversation consisted of the big boss demanding an absurdly unnecessary TV advert purely to stroke his ego, or a team of Soho's finest creative minds that have spent 18 months developing arguably the most authentic naff 80's looking commercial.

And I quite like the eHarmony one.

Is it possible to get banned from threads in Xenforo?

eta, http://www.safestylenews.com/vintage-advert-boosts-safestyle-sales lunacy has it's rewards it seems...


----------



## Augie March (Aug 31, 2011)

That injury lawyer advert with Pasquale saddens me as the dog looks like Rex the Runt.


----------



## The Octagon (Aug 31, 2011)

The new Foster's one amuses me - "Hollski"

"Glad we could help Holly Valance out eh? Wonder how she'll repay us?"

"That thing you're thinking of? It won't be that"


----------



## past caring (Aug 31, 2011)

Have we had this one yet?



The bloke is clearly fucking his daughter.


----------



## gentlegreen (Aug 31, 2011)

I wonder if I could look as young as that if I put on a wig.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Aug 31, 2011)

past caring said:


> Have we had this one yet?


yes


----------



## twentythreedom (Aug 31, 2011)

bgr bloomer and injurylawyers4u. I cannot find the words to describe the hate.

*Ah, I will post about this on my awesome hate thread...


----------



## twentythreedom (Aug 31, 2011)

50 - 80 Life Cover. LV, Asda, SunLife, Parkinson. Cunts.

"Life Cover" - just say "death poker - ha ha" and be done with it you bastards.


----------



## Lea (Sep 1, 2011)

smmudge said:


> wtf is up with that haribo advert?? I do an IRL facepalm everytime it comes on.



This is advert is just so bad! Who came up with the lyrics? It's just so bad I cringe everytime I see it!


----------



## gentlegreen (Sep 1, 2011)

twentythreedom said:


> 50 - 80 Life Cover. LV, Asda, SunLife, Parkinson. Cunts.
> 
> "Life Cover" - just say "death poker - ha ha" and be done with it you bastards.



Always particularly sickening when a multi-millionaire like Parkinson is advertising that sort of thing and offering a cheap pen as a bribe - or worse, a cheap clock to count down the minutes till one's demise.

Having recently reached the age where I can qualify, I find these adverts particularly offensive.


----------



## rollinder (Sep 1, 2011)

Grinning dogs with their doggy dentures


----------



## felixthecat (Sep 1, 2011)

Guzzle Puzzle.

Its just wrong.


----------



## andy2002 (Sep 2, 2011)

The Paddy Power one where the laddish little prick eats a pie and says, 'It's not vegetarian, is it?' I'd like to chop his hands off. And bits of his face.


----------



## uk benzo (Sep 2, 2011)

'212 VIP by Carolina Harrera'
-_You are not on the guest list_

This advert makes my eyes bleed. I hate all the people who buy this shite metrosexual fragrance as well.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Sep 3, 2011)

uk benzo said:


> ...
> -_You are not on the guest list..._


Didn't want to go to your stupid party filled with smug wanking hipsters who smell of trendy piss anyway! 

What does it fucking smell like?!!  :


----------



## Augie March (Sep 5, 2011)

I'm a PC and I'm an emotionless void space of humanity.


----------



## emanymton (Sep 5, 2011)

If someone did that to my house I'd be fucking furious!


----------



## Augie March (Sep 6, 2011)

I think Cheryl is too smacked out to even notice nor care about her house. This is how they actually sell new PCs in real life. They inject all manner of opiates into you and then let you loose in a PC store.


----------



## weltweit (Sep 7, 2011)

There is a new ad for Chedds which seem to be a new way of marketing Cheddar cheese.

They have a stupid animal which is not original and very uncool, the whole thing stinks!!


----------



## Big Gunz (Sep 7, 2011)

Confused dot com confused dot com why do you have to repeat it, fuck off!!!


----------



## Santino (Sep 7, 2011)

Ted Striker said:


> I'm actually growing a soft spot for the ridiculous double glazing one that has some northern wierdo (that makes the wonga.com cabbie rapist look like Shakespeare) bellowing nothing more than "(I say) you buy one get one free".


You can contact him here: http://www.safestyle-window-man.co.uk/


----------



## gosub (Sep 7, 2011)

at least the latest confuseddotcom ad gives you a clue they are involved with insurance (i think) the last one, somebody to love, I thought they were an online dating company.

Bank of Scotland that tells me that in the this time of uncertainty, the fact they have been around since 16blahblah is reassuring. , though I imagine my it sends my share holding Lloyds Bank manager round the bend, so its not all bad news.


----------



## Santino (Sep 7, 2011)

Whoever animates the confused.com adverts spends too much time making the women's breasts bounce around. I bet someone did it for a dare and was then surprised not to be picked up on it and is now pushing it as far as he can.


----------



## susie12 (Sep 7, 2011)

Saw a new one last night for Kit-Kat sweets - loads of butchos eating tiny chocs


----------



## Sigmund Fraud (Sep 7, 2011)

Santino said:


> Whoever animates the confused.com adverts spends too much time making the women's breasts bounce around. I bet someone did it for a dare and was then surprised not to be picked up on it and is now pushing it as far as he can.



Not because of the giggling cartoon breasts but that advert is possibly the most aurally and visually offensive ad on TV atm; its just so fucking garish, loud and insistent...and its on all the fucking time.


----------



## Dooby (Sep 7, 2011)

Santino said:


> Whoever animates the confused.com adverts spends too much time making the women's breasts bounce around. I bet someone did it for a dare and was then surprised not to be picked up on it and is now pushing it as far as he can.


Hell yes, someone pointed it out to me now I can't stop noticing it. I find it even more tragic than the real breasts used to advertise everything else. It's just so utterly pathetic - need tits to sell something


----------



## smmudge (Sep 7, 2011)

Yeah that confuseddotcom woman really needs to put on a bra. And stop stashing things in her vagina.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 7, 2011)

The latest eharmonydotetc ones are awful. The one where someone offscreen asks the girl if it's been fun going on dates - she says yes while frantically shaking her head.


----------



## gentlegreen (Sep 7, 2011)

Which one was that ?

They all give me the creeps.

Their psychological test - that I failed twice - is almost as impenetrable as a Scientology course.

http://www.youtube.com/user/eharmonyuk


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 7, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> Which one was that ?
> 
> They all give me the creeps.
> 
> Their psychological test - that I failed twice - is almost as impenetrable as a Scientology course.



I think you may be on to something there!


----------



## frood (Sep 8, 2011)

Most annoying ad of the moment: only seen twice, must have been removed due to weapons-grade hideousness. Car ad, I think it's BMW, featuring wanky yuppie brothers. "My brother likes polo, rock climbing, Mahiki and Myleene Klass while I like blowing my ad off with a flare gun etc etc"

Does anyone know the one I mean? Shot at night, starring wankstains.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 8, 2011)

frood said:


> Most annoying ad of the moment: only seen twice, must have been removed due to weapons-grade hideousness. Car ad, I think it's BMW, featuring wanky yuppie brothers. "My brother likes polo, rock climbing, Mahiki and Myleene Klass while I like blowing my ad off with a flare gun etc etc"
> 
> Does anyone know the one I mean? Shot at night, starring wankstains.



Yeah I know it, the one with them shitcunts in it.


----------



## Santino (Sep 8, 2011)

I had this to say about it:



Santino said:


> That new BMW ad with the two cunts who are brothers is good. Are you a self-obsessed cunt? Why not buy a BMW?!


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 10, 2011)

Santino said:


> I had this to say about it:



And how right you were. Truly, cunts.


----------



## Augie March (Sep 17, 2011)




----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 17, 2011)

Augie March said:


>



I saw this earlier today and thought "Hugh...what are you doing man! "


----------



## Voley (Sep 17, 2011)

The joys of Freesat+ mean I miss 95% of this shit these days. Only time I see TV ads these days is at half time if I'm watching live football.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 17, 2011)

NVP said:


> The joys of Freesat+ mean I miss 95% of this shit these days. Only time I see TV ads these days is at half time if I'm watching live football.


Same here! This morning it was at halftime in the rugby when I saw Hugh


----------



## Voley (Sep 17, 2011)

Of course it means I rarely see anything when it's actually on but that's a small price to pay. I'm sure the ad people are working on ruining this for me.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 17, 2011)

NVP said:


> Of course it means I rarely see anything when it's actually on but that's a small price to pay. I'm sure the ad people are working on ruining this for me.


Have you used any of the commercial channel i-player services? You get the same advert each 'break', sometimes twice a break. It's grim!


----------



## Voley (Sep 17, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Have you used any of the commercial channel i-player services? You get the same advert each 'break', sometimes twice a break. It's grim!


Yeah, I watched that Fred West thing on ITVPlayer and couldn't avoid the ads then. Recorded the second episode and enjoyed all the murders uninterrupted by simples and meerkats and other irritants. Serial killing as it should be, imo.


----------



## Ceej (Sep 23, 2011)

rollinder said:


> Grinning dogs with their doggy dentures



I quite like that one! It's silly enough to make me laugh.

That bloody, damned blasted Haribo advert has me singing that flippin' song all day.....grr.


----------



## smmudge (Sep 25, 2011)

The TK Maxx ad with the two women on the sofa. It has this undertone of hate and loathing which you can clearly read on their faces.


----------



## gentlegreen (Sep 26, 2011)

smmudge said:


> The TK Maxx ad with the two women on the sofa. It has this undertone of hate and loathing which you can clearly read on their faces.



I feel so glad watching that, that I haven't a clue what this year's or last year's fashions are ...


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Sep 26, 2011)

As an advertising student I am loving reading all these comments.


----------



## gentlegreen (Sep 27, 2011)

Burn the witch !!11!!!


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Sep 27, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> Burn the witch !!11!!!


Which witch is that then?


----------



## gentlegreen (Sep 27, 2011)

The one planning to unleash even more advertising on us.

While you're here, can you explain the weird language used in cosmetics adverts - "hair looks more lustrous" etc ? - i.e, not "it makes your hair" ...


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 27, 2011)

Study a real subject


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Sep 27, 2011)

I am fascinated by advertising, I loath it, would never work in the industry, I am anti-advertising, even went to live in a place where there was an advertising ban, and aim to move there one day.

And I wanted to study it thanks, 'real subject' or not.


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Sep 27, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> The one planning to unleash even more advertising on us.
> 
> While you're here, can you explain the weird language used in cosmetics adverts - "hair looks more lustrous" etc ? - i.e, not "it makes your hair" ...


Advertising is about informing and persuading, shampoo is just soap, 'lustrous' sounds nice, and after a while of seeing that ad you will associate those words with good hair. When you look in the mirror though, you will not see 'lustrous', 'lustrous' belongs to the woman in the adverts with layers of four hundred dollar hair extensions and a freshly done style under all the right lighting. And if the fact you don't have 'lustrous' hair bugs you, the next time you're in Tescos you pick up that product that keeps saying 'lustrous' to you.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 27, 2011)

I studied grammar and written construction with a class full of advertising students. Absolute wastes, to a man. Worse than the journalism and marketing students, which takes some doing. I can only hope you are the exception.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 27, 2011)

Autochthonous1 said:


> Advertising is about informing and persuading, shampoo is just soap, 'lustrous' sounds nice, and after a while of seeing that ad you will associate those words with good hair. When you look in the mirror though, you will not see 'lustrous', 'lustrous' belongs to the woman in the adverts with layers of four hundred dollar hair extensions and a freshly done style under all the right lighting. And if the fact you don't have 'lustrous' hair bugs you, the next time you're in Tescos you pick up that product that keeps saying 'lustrous' to you.


 
Good writing, good art- these things manipulate the emotions to produce feeling. Advertising utilises the techniques to sell people shit. Bankrupt.


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Sep 27, 2011)

DotCommunist said:


> I studied grammar and written construction with a class full of advertising students. Absolute wastes, to a man. Worse than the journalism and marketing students, which takes some doing. I can only hope you are the exception.


If you look at the recent advertising awards, D&AD for example I think you will have your eyes opened. The majority of my class are twats but the ones who are good really are quite mind-blowingly intelligent, sharp and creative. And that is what's scary-they are the ones who make the ads, I mean the good ones, they will earn all those corrupt companies millions and brainwash nations.


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Sep 27, 2011)

DotCommunist said:


> Good writing, good art- these things manipulate the emotions to produce feeling. Advertising utilises the techniques to sell people shit. Bankrupt.


Yeah, Relevance Theory and ostensive communication and all that.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Sep 27, 2011)

As no-one else has:


Bit harsh, but still


----------



## gentlegreen (Oct 9, 2011)

The pseudoscience is starting to grate - "molecular complexes" and "NovaMin® _technology" _in toothpastes, and this pain killer that's apparently radically different to all previous ones :-



EDIT :-

I get it now - only takes one tablet instead of two.


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Oct 17, 2011)

_A good film on what we have all been talking about, if you're interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLfvmiB4edI.
_


----------



## savoloysam (Oct 17, 2011)

Just saw the muller advert. I literally had to turn the TV off, all that fuss over a fucking gross yoghurt. What a load of fucking shite


----------



## twentythreedom (Oct 17, 2011)

Those fucking shit Direct Line ads really piss me off. That unfunny cunt and the stupid hippy woman.

What pisses me of most is that this thread exists in the first place (not there's anything inherently wrong with it iyswim), cos it means we've seen, remembered and are discussing the damn things, which means the advertising people have won already.


----------



## Autochthonous1 (Oct 18, 2011)

twentythreedom said:


> Those fucking shit Direct Line ads really piss me off. That unfunny cunt and the stupid hippy woman.
> 
> What pisses me of most is that this thread exists in the first place (not there's anything inherently wrong with it iyswim), cos it means we've seen, remembered and are discussing the damn things, which means the advertising people have won already.


Exactly. Wouldn't it have been nice if the thread was about 'your favourite ads'.


----------



## purenarcotic (Oct 18, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> The pseudoscience is starting to grate - "molecular complexes" and "NovaMin® _technology" _in toothpastes, and this pain killer that's apparently radically different to all previous ones :-
> 
> View attachment 13917
> 
> ...



That advert is so annoying it's unreal.  'Hey folks, instead of spending 80p or less and taking two pills, spend at least three times the amount for one tablet that does exactly the same job!' If you buy into it without working out the cheaper option you are moronic.  The advert is moronic. Argh.

Those bloody 'go compare' adverts make me want to kill myself every time that twat opens his fucking stupid mouth to sing.


----------



## twentythreedom (Oct 18, 2011)

Autochthonous1 said:


> Exactly. Wouldn't it have been nice if the thread was about 'your favourite ads'.



Favourite or most annoying, makes no odds. The existence of any thread on the subject, good or bad, means the marketing people have done their job. Which pisses me off. Bastards!! 

Bill Hicks was right.


----------



## red rose (Oct 18, 2011)

I've not watched TV properly in ages but I've been watching a channel 4 documentary this evening and if I have to see that blonde bint advertising "very" clothing one more time I am going to track her down and beat her to death with one of their catalogues 



It doesn't make you look taller or thinner, you're just already tall and thin.  And a patronising fuckwit to boot!

Adverts are irritating me a lot more now that I don't really watch TV very often, they never used to bother me this much


----------



## twentythreedom (Oct 18, 2011)

The "YMCA" Confuseddotcom ad annoys me - the male choir chiming in with "confused dot com" over-emphasise the "t" in "dot" just a little. Makes me suspicious.


----------



## smmudge (Oct 18, 2011)

red rose said:


> It doesn't make you look taller or thinner, you're just already tall and thin. And a patronising fuckwit to boot!



lol innit  Ads showing off specific clothing seems weird to me. Would you really go to a party in exactly the same dress that everyone will have seen Holly Whatsherface wearing in that ad.


----------



## _angel_ (Oct 18, 2011)

The Halifax never fail to disappoint in the annoyance stakes. I didn't think they could top to the two airheads having an epileptic giggling fit over a dropped cuppa, but they have managed it!


----------



## T & P (Oct 18, 2011)

_angel_ said:


> The Halifax never fail to disappoint in the annoyance stakes. I didn't think they could top to the two airheads having an epileptic giggling fit over a dropped cuppa, but they have managed it!


They were annoying alright, but not quite as much as the "ISA ISA baby" woman in the other one


----------



## twentythreedom (Oct 18, 2011)

I hope she got her neck problem sorted out


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Oct 18, 2011)

Autochthonous1 said:


> Exactly. Wouldn't it have been nice if the thread was about 'your favourite ads'.


There is one somewhere - in fact I think I may have started that one as well  Maybe there are just fewer appealing adverts than there are annoying ones!


----------



## savoloysam (Oct 18, 2011)

twentythreedom said:


> Favourite or most annoying, makes no odds. The existence of any thread on the subject, good or bad, means the marketing people have done their job. Which pisses me off. Bastards!!
> 
> Bill Hicks was right.



It's not all that bad mate. I tend to make a mental note of these wankers and avoid their products on purpose.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 19, 2011)

The Harvester bastard has been on the radio at work


----------



## MellySingsDoom (Oct 19, 2011)

I'm currently without TV (due to a duff Freeview box), so have't seen any TV ads in ages.  Are they still showing that bloody We Buy Any Car.com advert? (You know, guy in suit "busting some moves").

T & P - now I've got that Halifax advert as a video-worm right now


----------



## gentlegreen (Oct 22, 2011)

Not annoying so much as self-defeating.

I can't find a video of it, but that "Options" advert where women are seen sending boxes of chocolates scattering, and destroying chocolate cake - and then we are told they can be satisfied with low calorie substitutes.

I luckily don't have a chocolate addiction, but it almost made me want to eat chocolate - not the sad-looking low calorie replacement ...

The clichéd "all women need chocolate" thing is very annoying of course as usual.


----------



## rollinder (Oct 23, 2011)

not sure if this is also on telly but I'm currently being stalked on the internet by the one with injured plasticine Rex The Runt knock-off.


----------



## purenarcotic (Oct 23, 2011)

I wanna buy your house I wanna buy your house I wanna buy your house riiiight nowwww!

I wanna smack your face in fucking shitty buyyourhouse.com more like.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Oct 23, 2011)

Choo Choo Choose the trainline    especially now they have some smug twunts at the end saying "this is the best ad we've done!"


----------



## madzone (Oct 23, 2011)

"I like my lips. For kissing"

Kiss this, you vapid twat.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Oct 23, 2011)

Saw an insanely pretentious advert for Twinnings at the cinema last night

http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiningsTeaUK?v=LdkcsDueSMM&feature=pyv&ad=9331740900&kw=twinings tea

It started well but its for fucking tea, its going to get annoying


----------



## madzone (Oct 23, 2011)

Artaxerxes said:


> Saw an insanely pretentious advert for Twinnings at the cinema last night
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiningsTeaUK?v=LdkcsDueSMM&feature=pyv&ad=9331740900&kw=twinings tea
> 
> It started well but its for fucking tea, its going to get annoying


Awww, I like that one. I like the song and the animation.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Oct 23, 2011)

Its lovely but... tea? Seriously?


----------



## madzone (Oct 23, 2011)

Artaxerxes said:


> Its lovely but... tea? Seriously?


It doesn't inspire em to buy their tea, no.

You sound like my dead granny  'All _that_ for a chocolate biscuit?'


----------



## YouSir (Oct 23, 2011)

Maybe it's because I don't watch TV and I'm missing the general shitness of ads but the ones on Spotify seem particularly obnoxious right now, most notably the Levi's '_we_ are music' one and the army tit who keeps telling me he wants _me_ to sign up. Pfft.


----------



## rover07 (Nov 2, 2011)

That creepy bloke on the jobsite advert pisses me right off.

'Got a nice job yeah? You know where to come if you change your mind.'

FUCK OFF YOU TWAT, ITS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!!!


----------



## gentlegreen (Nov 2, 2011)

Have we had that VW Golf one yet ?

Taking over from Honda in attempting to Greenwash the motor car - as opposed to the usual ones which spin a fantasy of empty roads.


----------



## marty21 (Nov 4, 2011)

The Kindle Ad, where the smarmy bloke and the girlfriend are discussing her big bag - she is proud she can fill it with 3 books, 2 newspapers etc - he then tells her he can get gazillion books and newpapers on his

it's a good product - don't piss people off with crap ads


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Nov 4, 2011)

marty21 said:


> The Kindle Ad, where the smarmy bloke and the girlfriend are discussing her big bag - she is proud she can fill it with 3 books, 2 newspapers etc - he then tells her he can get gazillion books and newpapers on his
> 
> it's a good product - don't piss people off with crap ads


Almost as bad as when these smug puppets  go shopping for a handbag (for puppets  ?!!) and they only have big bags so they go all A-Team and hack one up so they can put a fucking can of diet fucking coke in a hundred pound fucking sleeve


----------



## susie12 (Nov 5, 2011)

I quite like the smug puppets lol.  It's too big! Too big!!


----------



## smmudge (Nov 5, 2011)

Yeah I like the smug puppets  I like the shop assistant.


----------



## smmudge (Nov 6, 2011)

Blockbuster advert:

"Rent some games for only £5 for 5 nights! That's....£1 per night.." Yeah? no shit sherlock.


----------



## Nfh89 (Nov 8, 2011)

Pseudopsycho said:


> Almost as bad as when these smug puppets  go shopping for a handbag (for puppets  ?!!) and they only have big bags so they go all A-Team and hack one up so they can put a fucking can of diet fucking coke in a hundred pound fucking sleeve


Those puppets wind me up something fierce, destroying a bag and then walking out without paying... Not on lol

I also hate the KFC one where she shouts at her boss, some stupid person'll do that n get sacked haha.

The Christmas Marks and Spencer ad is winding me up at the moment, random people who can't sing wearing too much makeup.. Who are they?


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 13, 2011)

That smug prick with his kindle who cusses on his mrs large handbag want to get himself unto fuck.


----------



## Wolveryeti (Nov 13, 2011)

A gem, surely:


----------



## Augie March (Nov 19, 2011)

Those boys shouldn't be fooled by this disembodied head of Ray "Gaw blimey guvnor, I'm just a cheeky cockernee" Winstone. He'll lure you in with his friendly help at reducing/increasing your gambling debts with just a few touches of your smartphone and then, this will happen...


----------



## Cloo (Nov 19, 2011)

madzone said:


> "I like my lips. For kissing"
> 
> Kiss this, you vapid twat.



And Scarlett Johanssen actually looks unattractive in it, which you'd think is quite hard to achieve.

I hate the wonga.com ones, attempting  to make opportunistic loan sharking look cute and cuddly. I think all of these 'payday loan' type people should only be allowed to advertise with a clearly shown and spoken disclaimer stating 'Please note, once you start using this service, you will run out of money earlier each month and get deeper into debt'.


----------



## Kidda (Nov 19, 2011)

The new Littlewoods advert has me in fits of rage.
Its a sexist piece of shite.
If i was a Dad id be mightly peeved that it portrays a Fathers contribution to Christmas as zero. Not to mention making it blatantly clear to kids that Santa isn't real. 

And why have they dressed the black kid as a spider in a sodding Nativity scene


----------



## smmudge (Nov 19, 2011)

Kidda said:


> The new Littlewoods advert has me in fits of rage.
> Its a sexist piece of shite.
> If i was a Dad id be mightly peeved that it portrays a Fathers contribution to Christmas as zero. Not to mention making it blatantly clear to kids that Santa isn't real.



Aye i fucking hate the way the vast majority of xmas ads are aimed at mothers. If they don't spend enough money and get stressed out enough they will ruin their children's xmas FOREVER


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## Augie March (Nov 19, 2011)

The true meaning of Christmas is buying D&G watches for all your friends and family with money you don't actually have.


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## Pseudopsycho (Nov 19, 2011)

"I'm not going to be who I'm expected to be anymore..."   

Would you like her to re-phrase the question?
Yes! What does it fucking smell like?!?! [/Lee Mack]


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## gentlegreen (Nov 20, 2011)

Dermatologically tested E45.

Every day, let's smear oily waxy stuff all over our bodies - why didn't mother nature give us our own built-in E45 glands ?

http://www.e45.com/emollients/about_e45/e45_tv_ad.php


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## davesgcr (Nov 20, 2011)

Apologies if listed earlier - but "Choo-choose the Trainline" makes me want to brick the TV.

Plus the ultra cheap Co-op ad with the Scottish (no offence) voiceover , and the ultra cheesy cheap 1970's session backing muzak.

Maybe I should get a valve radio set and ignore these things .....


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## Ted Striker (Nov 20, 2011)

I don't think I've seen an ad that so completely misses the point (and doesn't seek to remedy) why the entire world thinks they're the biggest collection of shitcunts since records began, and that's BA.

"Don't worry that we treat our staff like utter shit and your baggage has a limited chance of it's safe return, because our pilots have a phrase sewn into our uniforms that plunges to new depths of pithy glib nonsense."

Wankers.


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## The Octagon (Nov 20, 2011)

davesgcr said:


> Maybe I should get a valve radio set and ignore these things .....



Yeah, but it'd have a massive aerial and intimidate all the other male posters on the radio thread 
/urban injokes


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## gentlegreen (Nov 20, 2011)

Ted Striker said:


> I don't think I've seen an ad that so completely misses the point (and doesn't seek to remedy) why the entire world thinks they're the biggest collection of shitcunts since records began, and that's BA.
> 
> "Don't worry that we treat our staff like utter shit and your baggage has a limited chance of it's safe return, because our pilots have a phrase sewn into our uniforms that plunges to new depths of pithy glib nonsense."
> 
> Wankers.


When I saw that first I was only half watching and I got angry because I thought they were appropriating  wartime heroism - but it was just the pioneering of civil aviation ..


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## gentlegreen (Nov 28, 2011)

Damn. That hideous Boots patent cold cure advert's back on - with the woman "soldiering on" with other half in bed with man flu. 



Patronising crap whichever way you look at it.


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## smmudge (Nov 28, 2011)

What I find patronising crap are those coffee ads with the men talking at me, the typical woman, with my 80 pairs of shoes and my massive handbags and 5 year plan and bitching about people at work who are jealous of my hair  wtf?


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 28, 2011)

smmudge said:


> What I find patronising crap are those coffee ads with the men talking at me, the typical woman, with my 80 pairs of shoes and my massive handbags and 5 year plan and bitching about people at work who are jealous of my hair  wtf?



Are those the Carte Noir ones? Something about seduction? One of the chaps in that is very attractive 

I MUTE ADS. I SUGGEST EVERYONE DOES IT.


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## Espresso (Nov 28, 2011)

smmudge said:


> What I find patronising crap are those coffee ads with the men talking at me, the typical woman, with my 80 pairs of shoes and my massive handbags and 5 year plan and bitching about people at work who are jealous of my hair  wtf?



I've just this very minute seen that. Eh? What sort of vapid witless loon came up with that?

And whooooooooooooooo dressed that handsome young man?
If they want me to perve over handsome young men giving me coffee and talking tripe, at least let's have one who can dress himself.


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## gentlegreen (Nov 28, 2011)

5t3IIa said:


> I MUTE ADS. I SUGGEST EVERYONE DOES IT.


I usually channel hop, get distracted, switch back late and miss a critical line.


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## smmudge (Nov 28, 2011)

5t3IIa said:


> Are those the Carte Noir ones? Something about seduction? One of the chaps in that is very attractive



Oh yeah don't get me wrong, they are fit.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 28, 2011)

There two men, isn't there? I've seen two  One maybe mixed race and one white with a beard? I saw the former first - they linger on him gazing at me in a seductive fashion at the end but the beard guy just gets cut off. He's the one who looks most like a run of the mill Advert Man.


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## smmudge (Nov 28, 2011)

I think I've seen 3, there's a french one too. He gets extra points for talking french.

eta I'm still not going to buy his shit coffee though


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## fen_boy (Nov 28, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> Dermatologically tested E45.
> 
> Every day, let's smear oily waxy stuff all over our bodies - why didn't mother nature give us our own built-in E45 glands ?
> 
> http://www.e45.com/emollients/about_e45/e45_tv_ad.php



Emollient dodger


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## Espresso (Nov 28, 2011)

Not seen the beardy chap. Or the French one. I've only seen Mr Handsome who stole Donna off Marlon in Emmerdale. He also played the delightfully named Fingers in Gavin and Stacey.

Pamela: "Why *are* you called FIngers, Craig?"
Him: "Don't ask"


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 28, 2011)

Espresso said:


> Not seen the beardy chap. Or the French one. I've only seen Mr Handsome who stole Donna off Marlon in Emmerdale. He also played the delightfully named Fingers in Gavin and Stacey.
> 
> Pamela: "Why *are* you called FIngers, Craig?"
> Him: "Don't ask"



I don't watch soaps or channel 4 comedy dramas either 

Pic of fingers?


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## Espresso (Nov 28, 2011)

5t3IIa said:


> I don't watch soaps or channel 4 comedy dramas either
> 
> Pic of fingers?



Angry red faced iconeers shall always receive what they ask for.







Hang on though, I will find a picture of him for you


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 28, 2011)

Wait. Who is an angry red faced iconeer?! Moi?!


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## Espresso (Nov 28, 2011)

Oui. What with you just having used the angry red faced icon. 

Anyway, here he is


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## twentythreedom (Nov 28, 2011)

It's my own fault for watching too much telly, but fuck me backwards there are SO MANY SHIT ADVERTS on telly atm. Direct Line - that hippy bitch needs stabbing. Go Compare? AAAAAARGH!! Credit Expert? You die, slags!! Injury Lawyers 4U? Cunts. Wonga... Sliders? I'll shove them up your arse, you cunts. Argos aliens? You need to be from outer space to find that funny. Asda life cover? Death cover, just be honest you wankers.

I'll be back with more in the next ad break.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 28, 2011)

Espresso said:


> Oui. What with you just having used the angry red faced icon.
> 
> Anyway, here he is



Is that him?


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 28, 2011)

Hmm. Just watching ads on channel to now but I doubt they'd put coffeesex ads for chicks on during Digging the Great Escape :/


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## DotCommunist (Nov 28, 2011)

No coffeesex adverts will ever top Antony Head and his torrid affair with the woman he wins the affections of via the power of nescafe Gold Blend


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## Espresso (Nov 29, 2011)

5t3IIa said:


> Is that him?



Yup.
His name is Samuel Anderson and there are some pictures of him on Google images that look even less like him than that one does!
At a guess, I'd say he's had some sort of work done. Teeth, mebbe?

I see his occupation on Wiki is given as "Actor and general superman"
Someone fancies hisself.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 29, 2011)

Bugger. Now I know too much about him. The illusion is shattered  :stopsfapping:


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## gentlegreen (Dec 4, 2011)

Not particularly annoying, I actually quite like the overall effect and I only half watch it anyway, but that Jamie Oliver/Sainsbury's advert with the cheesy music hall song.
I really want the lyrics to morph into something a bit weird - maybe with sinister clowns ...


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## gentlegreen (Dec 5, 2011)

Apparently it's actually George Formby - in later life.

And it *is* fairly spooky in places.


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## falking9 (Dec 5, 2011)

Augie March said:


> The true meaning of Christmas is buying D&G watches for all your friends and family with money you don't actually have.


You do it that way ?
To me, the more fun and the cosiness is the only thing that mathers


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## Augie March (Dec 5, 2011)

You can have fun and cosiness ANY time of the year. There is only one day in the year you can buy incredibly expensive gifts for everyone close to you  to show how much you care. The painful debt re-payments for the years to come, will be the ultimate proof of your love and goodwill. It's what Jesus would do.


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## falking9 (Dec 6, 2011)

I think the gesture is the most important. The gift doesnt't need to be expensive, it's all about the thought behind it.


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## smmudge (Dec 6, 2011)

If it's not expensive though, they'll think that you don't love them that much.


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

it needs to be earth-shatteringly expensive or you might as well cancel xmas.
if you're a man, the only way you can show a woman you love her at xmas is with diamonds.


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## marty21 (Dec 6, 2011)

there's one I've seen for Glade - 2 beautiful women are talking, one has just moved into a beautiful new home - she is showing her beautiful friend around - who is adoring this palace - and she gives her a house warming present - some Glade push button thingie to gush glade smell about the place .

I. That's a shit house warming present - get me a kettle, a toaster or a fucking microwave you tight cow.
2. You are telling me I keep a smelly house

how very dare you...etc


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## gentlegreen (Dec 6, 2011)

The maddest Glade plugin advert I reckon is the one where they're sitting in a huge, spotless lounge, in front of a huge patio window with an acre of garden...

Why not open the fecking window ?

What the hell does "freshness" smell like ?


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> What the hell does "freshness" smell like ?



the opposite of your house


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## gentlegreen (Dec 6, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> the opposite of your house



I almost always have a howling gale blowing through it - and there's usually a vase of lilies in the kitchen ...

So it usually smells like my garden ..

Unless the neighbours on one side empty the washbasin or hang out the laundry complete with added "fragrance", or the chap on the other side is out in the garden smoking ... or the bloke out the front has just started his motorcycle in line with my front door ...


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## Santino (Dec 6, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> I almost always have a howling gale blowing through it - and there's usually a vase of lilies in the kitchen ...
> 
> So it usually smells like my garden ..
> 
> Unless the neighbours on one side empty the washbasin or hang out the laundry complete with added "fragrance", or the chap on the other side is out in the garden smoking ... or the bloke out the front has just started his motorcycle in line with my front door ...


Those neighbours probably wash their clothes too often, if you think about it. They're washing all the friendly bacteria out.


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## gentlegreen (Dec 6, 2011)

Santino said:


> Those neighbours probably wash their clothes too often, if you think about it. They're washing all the friendly bacteria out.


Oh do keep up, the friendly bacteria live in the pores of your skin and are killed by the use of alkali soap.


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## Greebo (Dec 6, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> What the hell does "freshness" smell like ?


Grass with the dew still on it, sea spray, petrichor, rained-on herbs...



Orang Utan said:


> the opposite of your house


Thanks, needed that after this morning's phone call   Not entirely accurate though.  I'm sure GG's house smells very fresh indeed on account of the howling gale through the hole in the bathroom wall.


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

yes, that horrible smell of freshly laundered clothes. it's so much worse than a fetid flat full of mushrooms.


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## gentlegreen (Dec 6, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> yes, that horrible smell of freshly laundered clothes. it's so much worse than a fetid flat full of mushrooms.


Freshly laundered clothes, plus added "freshness" - makes me gag.


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> Freshly laundered clothes, plus added "freshness" - makes me gag.


mentalist


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## gentlegreen (Dec 6, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> mentalist



It's a purely objective comment.

The very worst thing is when I have freshly baked bread just out of the machine and am hand-grinding coffee beans I've cycled several uphill miles to obtain, and next door empties the bathroom wash basin.


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## Greebo (Dec 6, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


> <snip>The very worst thing is when I have freshly baked bread just out of the machine and am hand-grinding coffee beans I've cycled several uphill miles to obtain, and next door empties the bathroom wash basin.


That's not really the fault of your neighbour though, it it?  Just the combined smells of coffee, bread, and fresh sweat (none of which would automatically qualify as unpleasant on their own) would get uncomfortably close to olefactory cacophany anyway.


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## gentlegreen (Dec 6, 2011)

Greebo said:


> That's not really the fault of your neighbour though, it it? Just the combined smells of coffee, bread, and fresh sweat (none of which would automatically qualify as unpleasant on their own) would get uncomfortably close to olefactory cacophany anyway.


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## Greebo (Dec 6, 2011)

gentlegreen said:


>


One note is nice, a few well chosen notes can be even nicer, too many notes and you get the nasal equivalent of discord.


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## gentlegreen (Dec 6, 2011)

Greebo said:


> One note is nice, a few well chosen notes can be even nicer, too many notes and you get the nasal equivalent of discord.


Which is exactly what I was saying, but bathroom products are vile even alone.

Can we please get this thread back on course ?


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## DotCommunist (Dec 6, 2011)

there is one that videobb (a streaming service) makes you watch, about how young drunk women should be turned on their sides if they are passed out blotto with drink. To stop them choking on vomit y'see. I'm not manhandling drunk young women.  not after last time.


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## smmudge (Dec 6, 2011)

The worst glade one is where that woman has gone over to another woman's house, and the kids are playing or whatever. You can tell they're such good friends because all they can think to talk about is the sodding air freshener.


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## Ted Striker (Dec 6, 2011)

Stephen Mangan ('Dan' guy from Partridge) and a female accomplice reeling of shite specs of a £400 laptop reduced to £350 in an eternal epic vocal duel as to who can act the most excited about 2gb of Ram to entice Uncles that know fuck all about computers with cataracts and a fear of online shopping to buy one for their neice as it'll just about run Internet Explorer. 7.

Fuck off, the pair of you, and Comet (or Dixons/Currys/PC world, can't remember which).


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## andy2002 (Dec 6, 2011)

The man in the Quick Quid ads has the blandest face I've ever seen. It's like someone's tried to erase his features but given up halfway through.


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## Ted Striker (Dec 8, 2011)

In these times of austerity, job cuts, financial doom and gloom, fuel bills rocketing, the uk high street turning into a ghost town, it's always nice to see Currys (or Dixons? again, all the same...) have the inginuity, resources, and marketing creativity to encourage us to visit their stores, by opening 60 or so blenders, filling them with coloured fruit, and pressing the switch at the same time to create pretty colours. Complete with cries of excitement from the staff.

Yes, the ENTIRE INTERNET will be cheaper, easier to shop, with better feedback and reviews, allow you to swerve the spottiest, unhelpful, and un-technically savvy sales staff since records began, but lets see Amazon open up a load of their stock and blend a load of perfectly good fruit in order to create a rainbow of colours for the entertainment of the Saturday staff.
I understand the January sales campaign will be shot with them burning £5 notes.

Marvellous.


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## gentlegreen (Dec 9, 2011)

This woman gets more passive aggressive the more I'm forced to watch this advert :-


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## smmudge (Dec 23, 2011)

Ok those hair dye ads with Davina Mccall..."British" blonde? Specifically tested on "British" hair? WTF is so special OR CONSISTENT about "British" hair??


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## Miss-Shelf (Aug 2, 2012)

ok confused.com again
why the need to make cartoon characters so sexualised
what does it say about insurance?
is it just an annoying hook into the brain so that when you're thinking about insurance you remember this site?


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## EastEnder (Aug 2, 2012)

Miss-Shelf said:


> ok confused.com again
> why the need to make cartoon characters so sexualised
> what does it say about insurance?
> is it just an annoying hook into the brain so that when you're thinking about insurance you remember this site?


You sound confused.


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## Miss-Shelf (Aug 2, 2012)

I AM! it's done its evil work


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## gentlegreen (Mar 22, 2017)

gentlegreen said:


> Dermatologically tested E45.
> 
> Every day, let's smear oily waxy stuff all over our bodies - why didn't mother nature give us our own built-in E45 glands ?
> 
> http://www.e45.com/emollients/about_e45/e45_tv_ad.php



Skin creams containing paraffin 'causing people to catch fire and die'


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## felixthecat (Mar 24, 2017)

Not an annoying one - I'm loving the Berocca chameleon dancing to Panjabi MC. He's making me smile more than taking Berocca would


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## felixthecat (Mar 24, 2017)

.


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