# Funniest Chants (or the most offensive chants) you have heard



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Last weekend Arsenal fan's chanted 'Can you taste your brother's cock?' at Ryan Giggs and 'Who's the Scouser in the wig?" at Wayne Rooney. Full marks for invention and delivery.

What one's have tickled you (even if they also made you wince a bit) over the years? And why?

I always remember Asa Hartford failing a medical for a big-money transfer (to Leeds?) because they discovered he had a hole in his heart.

Next time he played he was serenaded with 'There's a hole in your heart, dear Asa, dear Asa'.


----------



## Clint Iguana (Jan 29, 2012)

Cardiff City Fans to Brighton and Hove Albion fans ----

"You only sing when you're rimming"


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Jan 29, 2012)

It's not a chant but I wish I'd been at the Eastbourne Borough vs Burton Albion game some years ago. There was a pre-match announcement over the tannoy...
"If anyone has a good knowledge of beetles - the insect, not the band - could they please make themselves known to us."
It could have been my finest hour........


----------



## Corax (Jan 29, 2012)

I had grudging respect for the gooners' chant for Petit:

He's blonde, he's quick,
His name's a porno flick
Emmanuel, Emmanuel


----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 29, 2012)

I don't follow the footie but I did hear of a chant that stuck with me for sheer offensivenes.

'sol, sol, wherever you may be
Your in the grip of lunacy
And we don't give a fuck if your hanging from a tree
your a *something* cunt with HIV'

thats racism, homophobia and mental health bashing all in one short verse. Amazingly cruel.


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> I don't follow the footie but I did hear of a chant that stuck with me for sheer offensivenes.
> 
> 'sol, sol, wherever you may be
> Your in the grip of lunacy
> ...



You're a Judas cunt with HIV.

ETA: Not you, DC - I was completing the 'lyric'.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 29, 2012)

why the judas bit?


----------



## Dan U (Jan 29, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> why the judas bit?



Cos he left for the enemy


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

He's gonna die,
He's gonna die,
Elton John is gonna die,
Twenty years of HIV,
Elton John is history.

Not my proudest moment as a Luton fan.

Nor, sadly, the most embarrassing - before anyone else says it!


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> why the judas bit?



Cos he left his boyhood club Spurs... on a Bosman... and signed for their arch rivals Arsenal.


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

I quite like 'Evra, you're a cunt' from a lot of the southern clubs. (Arsenal and I think Spurs and Chelsea)

No idea where it comes from but I appreciate it's simplicity and straight to the point-ness.


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> why the judas bit?



Becasue he left Tottenham for their bitterest rivals.

And possibly because Judas is thought to have hanged himself.  Though I might be crediting Tottenham fans with a little too much knowledge of the New Testament.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

.


----------



## butchersapron (Jan 29, 2012)

Athos said:


> Becasue he left Tottenham for their bitterest rivals.
> 
> And possibly because Judas is thought to have hanged himself. Though I might be crediting Tottenham fans with a little too much knowledge of the New Testament.


That was probably because of his well publicised 'battle with depression' (see the lunacy ref) at the time rather than a reference to racist lynching or biblical stories.


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

Also West Ham at Old Trafford a few years ago. We were dicking them by about four or five and they kept singing 'Lets pretend we've scored a goal', waited a few moments, celebrated like they'd scored then sang 4-1. This carried on until their fake goals were about seven to our five


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Jan 29, 2012)

Oh, this again. Two Andy Gorams. Funniest current chant at WHL would probably be the sanitised Abedayor song: his dad's an accountant, and his mum studies law.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Jan 29, 2012)

butchersapron said:


> That was probably because of his well publicised 'battle with depression' (see the lunacy ref) at the time rather than a reference to racist lynching or biblical stories.



Even a stopped clock. Thank you, SW.


----------



## Balbi (Jan 29, 2012)

I hate to pogo this, but I recall a similar thread from bygone years ending badly due to chant content.


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jan 29, 2012)

Luton fans at Fulham in about '97/98 (just after Diana & Dodi had died) to Mohammed al Fayed, who was walking round the pitch doing his scarf waving thing:

He's fat
He's round
His son is in the ground
Al Fayed, Al Fayed


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jan 29, 2012)

Balbi said:


> I hate to pogo this, but I recall a similar thread from bygone years ending badly due to chant content.


yeah we have done this thread quite a few times before


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

Brixton Hatter said:


> Luton fans at Fulham in about '97/98 (just after Diana & Dodi had died) to Mohammed al Fayed, who was walking round the pitch doing his scarf waving thing:
> 
> He's fat
> He's round
> ...



I remember we all sang "We all shop at Tescos" at that game, too. As if he was bothered that Harrods wasn't full of Hatters!


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Worst I have ever seen/heard. Not just because of the chants but because of the sheer number of people chanting them.

Skol Cup SF at Ibrox (Hampden was closed for refurb) early 90's.

The previous weekend two stories broke.

1. Richard Gough (Rangers captain) was on the front page of the Mail with his new (previously unheard of) wife, with the headline 'Wed In Secret'. At the time Glasgow was buzzing with (totally unfounded AFAIK) rumours about Gough, rent boys and a Masonic cover-up.

2. The actor who played Wee Burnie on Rab C Nesbitt was convicted of possession of loads of kiddie porn videos.

On the night, every Celtic bus was plastered with photocopies of the 'Wed In Secret' front page - but with Burnies head superimposed on the bride's body.

Chants on the night included many renditions of 'Richard Gough's on Burnie's videos' and

He's gay
He's vile
He's a fuckin paedophile
Richard Gough, Richard Gough!

Enough to put anyone off their game, you would think. Not Gough. He never had a finer 90 minutes for rangers.

The cunt.


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

butchersapron said:


> That was probably because of his well publicised 'battle with depression' (see the lunacy ref) at the time rather than a reference to racist lynching or biblical stories.



Yes.  It was a joke about Tottenham fans and the New Testament.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Brixton Hatter said:


> yeah we have done this thread quite a few times before



so feel free not to play.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Athos said:


> Yes. It was a joke about Tottenham fans and the New Testament.



Happy to say I got that first time. Well witty too.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Jan 29, 2012)

Boom. Tish.


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Happy to say I got that first time. Well witty too.


I thank you.  I'm here all week.


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jan 29, 2012)

Athos said:


> I remember we all sang "We all shop at Tescos" at that game, too. As he he was bothered that Harrods wasn't full of Hatters!


And (also to al Fayed at the same game): "You'll never get a passport"


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

Brixton Hatter said:


> And (also to al Fayed at the same game): "You'll never get a passport"



My mate took his to wave at Al Fayed.  Then reconsidered, as he thought it might be borderline racist!


----------



## Corax (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Happy to say I got that first time. Well witty too.


I didn't.  But I'm now outraged at the flagrant anti-semitism.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Yesterday Arsenal fan's chanted 'Can you taste your brother's cock?' at Ryan Giggs and 'Who's the Scouser in the wig?" at Wayne Rooney. Full marks for invention and delivery.


Arsenal weren't playing Man Utd(or anyone) yesterday and Wayne Rooney wasn't playing either. Nil points for accuracy.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Not particularly offensive - or funny - but remarkable for the speed of response.

A pre-season Celtic friendly at Birmingham. A somewhat rotund brummie decided to treat the Celtic fans the sight of him unfurling a 'Red Hand of Ulster' flag. Fatty's arms were scarcely spread before many thousand Celts were questioning 'Who ate all the pies?'

I could not help but notice many of the Brummies laughing and applauding.


----------



## Corax (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> Arsenal weren't playing Man Utd(or anyone) yesterday and Wayne Rooney wasn't playing either. Nil points for accuracy.


So?  It wasn't at a game.  It was in Sainsburys.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

Corax said:


> So? It wasn't at a game. It was in Sainsburys.


What?


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> Arsenal weren't playing Man Utd(or anyone) yesterday and Wayne Rooney wasn't playing either. Nil points for accuracy.



I have now amended it to 'last week' (and even resisted the temptation to refer to you as an apologist for racism, like so many other posters have in the last few weeks).

Although I was tempted to change it to.... Arsenal fans chanted 'can you taste your brother's SleaterKinney?' instead


----------



## Clint Iguana (Jan 29, 2012)

Cardiff City... to the tune of Cant Take My Eyes Off You' by Frankie Valli 

"Kevin McNauton,
you are the love of my life,
Kevin McNauton,
I'll let you shag my wife,
I wish i had siver hair too".


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> I have now amended it to 'last week'.



Yesterday or last week, Easy mistake tbf



> Although I was tempted to change it to.... Arsenal fans chanted 'can you taste your brother's SleaterKinney?' instead


Wouldn't that be funny LiamO?.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> Yesterday or last week, Easy mistake tbf
> 
> Wouldn't that be funny LiamO?.



It would be accurate. You are a Cock. But you kind of enjoy being one, so each to their own. I reckon you revel in your little bit of notoriety on here on the basis that 'it's better to be abused than ignored' which I reckon is your usual fate IRL.


----------



## Corax (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> What?


It's a chain of retailers selling produce and household goods.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

I have heard some crackers over the years and some fucking sick ones from United fans, the season after we stopped Liverpool doing the treble United fans sang,
It was on that famous saturday the 21st of May,
we met a bunch of Liverpool fans along the Wembley way,
they told us how they'd win the treble and how they win the cup,
it was on that famous Saturday United fucked them up.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

And from a season or two ago,

Sing sing wherever you may be,
don't leave your wife with John Terry,
it could be worse he could be Scouse,
he shag your wife then he'd rob your house.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> It would be accurate. You are a Cock. But you kind of enjoy being one, so each to their own. I reckon you revel in your little bit of notoriety on here on the basis that 'it's better to be abused than ignored' which I reckon is your usual fate IRL.


Is someone who corrects you a Cock?, Don't post up a load of shite(not the first time either) - and I won't correct you - simple.


----------



## stavros (Jan 29, 2012)

I still enjoy the "woooooooooooooooo you're shit ahhhh" at goal kicks.

At the Bristol Rovers-Aston Villa game a few weeks ago, a few Rovers fans kept shouting "Pass it to Heskey".


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> Is someone who corrects you a Cock?, Don't post up a load of shite(not the first time either) - and I won't correct you - simple.



it's not about you 'correcting' me. It's about your pedantry and smart-arsery.

Do you actually have anything to contribute? Ever? No? Well fuck off, then you free state gobshite.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Fatty's arms were scarcely spread before many thousand Celts were questioning 'Who ate all the pies?'



I vaguely remember a commentary or report on a match where a somewhat rotund fan was trying to wind up the opposition fans, resulting in a chorus of "I predict a diet"


----------



## twistedAM (Jan 29, 2012)

I'm still saying Posh Spice's arse is the most offensive one, though whenever people hiss at Tottenham that fucking angers me.

One of my favourites from the 80s was City singing to United: "Alex is more British than Gary Bailey". Kind of managed to be nationalist, ant-racist and pro-ANC all at the same time.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

Some of my favourite ones today are,

park park wherever you may be,
you eat doge in your own country,
it could be worse you be Scouse,
they eat rats in there council house.

To City fans,
The city is yours, the city is yours,
20,000 empty seats, are you fucking sure.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> it's not about you 'correcting' me. It's about your pedantry and smart-arsery.
> 
> Do you actually have anything to contribute? Ever? No? Well fuck off, then you free state gobshite.



Everyone's a smart-arse to you ya big eejit.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> one of my favourite ones today is,
> 
> park park wherever you may be,
> you eat doge in your own country,


Nothing racist about that of course!.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

Ronald's,

He plays on the left, he plays on the right,
that boy Ronaldo, makes England look shite.

You are my solsjaer, my Ole solsjaer,
you make me happy when sky's are blue,
keep alan shearer, he's fuckin dearer,
don't take my Solskjaer away.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> Nothing racist about that of course!.


Go on then Enoch, explain it to me.


----------



## Corax (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> You are my solsjaer, my Ole solsjaer,
> you make me happy when sky's are blue,
> keep alan shearer, he's fuckin dearer,
> don't take my Solskjaer away.




grey?


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Some of my favourite ones today are,
> 
> park park wherever you may be,
> you eat doge in your own country,
> ...



Hearts used to sing to Hibs

In your Easter Road slums
in your Easter Road slums
you rake through the rubbish for something to eat
you find a dead rat and you think it's a treat
in your Easter Road slums.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Do you actually have anything to contribute? Ever?





sleaterkinney said:


> Everyone's a smart-arse to you ya big eejit.



I'll take that as a 'no' then?


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> Hearts used to sing to Hibs
> 
> In your Easter Road slums
> in your Easter Road slums
> ...



Think you'll find that was traditionally sung at Scousers - a parody of their 'In Our Liverpool Homes'


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> Hearts used to sing to Hibs
> 
> In your Easter Road slums
> in your Easter Road slums
> ...


United have a version similar about Liverpool.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Go on then Enoch, explain it to me.


You eat dogs in your own country


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Think you'll find that was traditionally sung at Scousers - a parody of their 'In Our Liverpool Homes'



maybe it was. There's nowt so plagiaristic as a football chant. There's also a load about junkies and HIV seeing as Edinburgh was the AIDS capital of Europe for a while but I can't mind any of them. Fed will be along in a minute


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> park park wherever you may be,
> you eat dogs in your own country,


 


sleaterkinney said:


> Nothing racist about that of course!.


 
That's right. There is _nothing_ racist about that. Now post up some chants or fuck off, there's a good garsún.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> You eat dogs in your own country


And would it be racist to sing you eat snails or frogs legs in your own country to a French player?


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> You eat dogs in your own country



So nobody eats dogs in Korea?


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> And would it be racist to sing you eat snails or frogs legs in your own country to a French player?



Only in sleatercuntibollock's head. But never mind, let's have another thread about all about him... and how angry he is with the world since all ye nasty fellas all ridiculed him on the Suarez thread.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

Unbelievable


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> maybe it was. There's nowt so plagiaristic as a football chant... Fed will be along in a minute



True.

Fed will be able to confirm if it was sung at Everton fans as well as LFC ones - I suspect it was/is.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> I can't believe this after all the crap I got on the Suarez thread.



That's cos you are such a thick cunt.

But at least you are aware on some level of what is driving your pissiness on this one.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> True.
> 
> Fed will be able to confirm if it was sung at Everton fans as well as LFC ones - I suspect it was/is.


Another one we used to sing was,

Feed the Scousers, let them know it's Christmas time.


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Another one we used to sing was,
> 
> Feed the Scousers, let them know it's Christmas time.



Seems these ones are all basically anti-Irish (a reference to the famine, no?)


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> Seems these ones are all basically anti-Irish (a reference to the famine, no?)


No it was one of the live aid concerts, remember the song that Bono and all the other pop star sang? Feed the people I think was the original line.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Jan 29, 2012)

Hardly. It's Southern contempt for the feckless lot up North, who never had the gumption to develop a services-based economy. Nothing anti-Irish about it.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> Seems these ones are all basically anti-Irish (a reference to the famine, no?)


Anti Irish songs?


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> No it was one of the live aid concerts, remember the song that Bono and all the other pop star sang? Feed the people I think was the original line.



yeah I know the song it's a tune for, but that and the rats one are basically 'you're so fucking poor you're starving, haha' sung at a club from a city with massive Irish immigration. Hibs get the rats one and their full name is Edinburgh Hibernian.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> yeah I know the song it's a tune for, but that and the rats one are basically 'you're so fucking poor you're starving, haha' sung at a club from a city with massive Irish immigration. Hibs get the rats one and their full name is Edinburgh Hibernian.


I am Irish.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> That's cos you are such a thick cunt.


I'm not really. I'm just stunned by the hypocrisy.


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> I am Irish.



 so?


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> so?


So, you are wrong, I could actually find it offensive that you are equating eating rats with being Irish.


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)




----------



## twistedAM (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> No it was one of the live aid concerts, remember the song that Bono and all the other pop star sang? Feed the people I think was the original line.



That's correct cos I remember City playing Sheffield Wednesday during the miners strike and we sang "feed the miners, let them know its Christmas time". Of course some of my thicker mates thought it was just a clever rmix of the Scouser song.
Can;t remember what we sand to Notts Co that season; scab counts was about the height of it.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


>


Manchester is also full of Irish, and I heard plenty of Irish born supporters singing it, you really are way off track with this one.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

twistedAM said:


> That's correct cos I remember City playing Sheffield Wednesday during the miners strike and we sang "feed the miners, let them know its Christmas time". Of course some of my thicker mates thought it was just a clever rmix of the Scouser song.
> Can;t remember what we sand to Notts Co that season; scab counts was about the height of it.


I used to sing sign on sign on cos you'll never get a job at them, and I was on the dole myself.


----------



## twistedAM (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> I used to sing sign on sign on cos you'll never get a job at them, and I was on the dole myself.



Yeah that old one too. i did it when i was on the dole as well.
As a city, Manchester just seems to have such a superiority complex when it comes to Liverpool.
And to whoever asked if it was also sung at Everton fans. of course. They're the blue dippers.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

twistedAM said:


> Yeah that old one too. i did it when i was on the dole as well.
> As a city, Manchester just seems to have such a superiority complex when it comes to Liverpool.
> And to whoever asked if it was also sung at Everton fans. of course. They're the blue dippers.


Nah, would not use the word superiority, lot of rivalry for some reason, but away from the football it is mostly good natured, don't know anyone who genuinely hates Scousers.


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> yeah I know the song it's a tune for, but that and the rats one are basically 'you're so fucking poor you're starving, haha' sung at a club from a city with massive Irish immigration. Hibs get the rats one and their full name is Edinburgh Hibernian.



The next verse is 'you piss on the carpet and shit in the bath, you finger your Grandma and think it's a laugh'

Then 'Your Mum's on the game and your Dad's in the nick, you can't get a job 'cause you're too fucking thick'

So no, don't think it's an anti Irish thing. Just a parody of In your Liverpool home with some not nice words.

I won't repeat the final verse, there's places I won't go.


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)

*shrug* maybe. I just think it's a bit like Rangers singing the Famine Song at Celtic.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

@wee piper

That song was sung by all and sundry in england - against whoever their most bitter rivals were.

Mind you I have NEVER heard it sung AT fans BY fans from the same city - which is clearly fuckin stupid and (on reflection) indeed sectarian/racist, when sung by Hertz fans about their fellow citizens.

But it had/has no racial connotations sarf of the border


----------



## AKA pseudonym (Jan 29, 2012)

tenuous link...
Nelson Mandela going through Dublin City on an open top bus....
to the shouts of 'ooo ah, Paul McGraths Da'.....


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

weepiper said:


> *shrug* maybe. I just think it's a bit like Rangers singing the Famine Song at Celtic.



Feed the scousers is to the tune of Band Aid. Again, nothing to do with the Irish, just local rivalries using pop songs.

In fact I'm sure using the Celtic/Rangers example Liverpool and United would fall on the same side of whichever goes with which (I can never remember or care that much)


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> @wee piper
> 
> That song was sung by all and sundry in england - against whoever their most bitter rivals were.
> 
> ...



PM it to me if you won't type it


----------



## 1927 (Jan 29, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> You eat dogs in your own country



Its a fact tho!


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Glitter said:


> In fact I'm sure using the Celtic/Rangers example Liverpool and United would fall on the same side of whichever goes with which (I can never remember or care that much)



Obviously.  traditionally Liverpool would be the 'Proddy' team on Merseyside and Everton the Cat-lick one - although those days seem well gone for the vast majority of Liverpool fans.


----------



## weepiper (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> traditionally Liverpool would be the 'prod' team



didn't know that, that maybe makes a bollocks of my thought process then


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Obviously.  traditionally Liverpool would be the 'prod' team on Merseyside and Everton the Cafflick one - although those days seem well gone for the vast majority of Liverpool fans.



I have no idea which is which and which United's is either. In fact I can never remember which the Scottish ones are either.


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> so feel free not to play.


i wasn't criticising, just pointing out there's some other threads with some great songs on.

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/christmas-terrace-songs.200056/

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/favourite-chants-songs-at-your-club.149139/

...etc. Enjoy


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

@Glitter

Thanks for the PM. You were right not to post it. Like you said... there are some places one should not go.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

A Geordie acquaintance was proudly telling me of a game in the 80's when - after a previous encounter in which a petrol bomb was (allegedly) thrown at West Ham fans by a Geordie - the Toon Army sang

'Scream when you're burnin
You only scream when you're burning'.

Anybody shed any light on this?


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> @Glitter
> 
> Thanks for the PM. You were right not to post it. Like you said... there are some places one should not go.


PM it to me will you?


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> A Geordie acquaintance was proudly telling me of a game in the 80's when - after a previous encounter in which a petrol bomb was (allegedly) thrown at West Ham fans by a Geordie - the Toon Army sang
> 
> 'Scream when you're burnin
> You only scream when you're burning'.
> ...


Don't know about the song but remember the petrol bomb being thrown, the fella that threw it got 3 years, he would be lifed off today.


----------



## Athos (Jan 29, 2012)

Me too, please.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

It's only some oul shite about Hillsborough... but it's on its way to ye both.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> It's only some oul shite about Hillsborough... but it's on its way to ye both.


Don't bother, sorry that I asked


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Don't bother, sorry that I asked


Cheers Liam, I am sorry that I asked you, thank fuck I have never heard it sung.


----------



## Corax (Jan 29, 2012)

Edit: Google found me a "sanitised" version at first, but just seen another.  Yeah, pretty low that.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Don't bother, sorry that I asked



So was I. And in fairness Glitter was apologetic.

Funny isn't it how we can laugh out loud at the wit of Luton fans singing the Dodi song at his grieving (billionaire) daddy - but Hillsborough/Munich etc leave us stone cold.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> So was I. And in fairness Glitter was apologetic.
> 
> Funny isn't it how we can laugh out loud at the wit of Luton fans singing the Dodi song at his grieving (billionaire) daddy - but Hillsborough/Munich etc leave us stone cold.


Closer to home probably and we can identify with those killed and those left behind to grieve.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Brixton Hatter said:


> i wasn't criticising, just pointing out there's some other threads with some great songs on.
> 
> http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/christmas-terrace-songs.200056/
> 
> ...



in fairness those threads only have about 18 posts between them.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Closer to home probably and we can identify with those killed and those left behind to grieve.



Yep. Sometimes Class prejudice can be very comforting.


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Cheers Liam, I am sorry that I asked you, thank fuck I have never heard it sung.



It was sung yesterday. Only by a few but a sizeable few.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

Glitter said:


> It was sung yesterday. Only by a few but a sizeable few.


Thanks, the fucking wankers


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> So was I. And in fairness Glitter was apologetic.
> 
> Funny isn't it how we can laugh out loud at the wit of Luton fans singing the Dodi song at his grieving (billionaire) daddy - but Hillsborough/Munich etc leave us stone cold.



I was telling you the words, not ever endorsing them.

I'm not keen on the Dodi thing either tbh. But Munich was my club and Hillsborough could have been any one of us. (One of t'other half's mates was in the Leppings Lane end that day and FIL to be was in another stand.)


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Thanks, the fucking wankers



Yep.

It seems to be coming back quite a bit atm. Weirdly it's by the young 'uns who have no idea of how it was.


----------



## Corax (Jan 29, 2012)

Glitter said:


> Yep.
> 
> It seems to be coming back quite a bit atm. Weirdly it's by the young 'uns who have no idea of how it was.


Rather than that being weird, I'd suggest that was entirely the reason.


----------



## Fedayn (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Yep. Sometimes Class prejudice can be very comforting.



Those poor Ceasescu's.....


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

Corax said:


> Rather than that being weird, I'd suggest that was entirely the reason.



Yeah, I know what you mean, but then they justify it by 'but they sang Munich all through the 80s' :braindead:


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Glitter said:


> I was telling you the words, not ever endorsing them.
> 
> I appreciate that and did not infer any different


----------



## Glitter (Jan 29, 2012)

Yeah I know.

I'm just being touchy


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

I was once persuaded to provide p.a. for and to compere a pre-match 'party' for about 700 at a United away game. The singsong was going along dandily til some fuckin drunken eejit - infused with the spirit of fraternalism and 'spirits' in general - decided to sing 'You'll Never Walk Alone'. Cue an avalanche of cans (thank fuck no glasses or bottles were given out).

10 minutes later some clown decided to sing 'Who's that lying n the carpet?'. In fairness he was booed off and hit with several cans - at least one of which appeared full (though I don't know if it was beer or piss).

It was touch and go (and decidedly uneasy) when the strippers were on... but then on came the 'Comedian' who strated lecturing the crowd about their manners. He might have gotten away with it too, if he wasn't a dead ringer for Ian Rush. As the first cans began to rain down amidst chants of 'You Scouse bastard' to the outraged 'comedican' who insisted on telling them 'well that's where you're wrong see, cos I'm from bloody birmingham"... I was sure my gear would soon be in smithereens so me and the fella who was organising the do just picked him up, carried him off stage and fucked him out the back door - just ahead of the posse of irate and drunken knuckle-draggers.


----------



## joustmaster (Jan 29, 2012)

fucked him! crickey


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

joustmaster said:


> fucked him! crickey


What would you have done? just gave him a blow job? he was entitled to some form of payment you tightwad.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

and the organiser gave him a good rimming first


----------



## Fedayn (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> True.
> 
> Fed will be able to confirm if it was sung at Everton fans as well as LFC ones - I suspect it was/is.



It was, but from what the Kopites i've known have said it semed they got it far more tight on this song than we did.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

and speaking of anal fun... I think the 'You only sing when you're rimming' one to Brighton fans is the wittiest one presented thus far.


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

Fedayn said:


> It was, but from what the Kopites i've known have said it semed they got it far more tight on this song than we did.


Cos you lot ain't too bad you aren't proper Scouse bastards like them.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Cos you lot ain't too bad you aren't proper Scouse bastards like them.


you have to intellectualise everything don't you?


----------



## Fedayn (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> Obviously.  traditionally Liverpool would be the 'Proddy' team on Merseyside and Everton the Cat-lick one - although those days seem well gone for the vast majority of Liverpool fans.



Not necessarily. I've known Kopites who's parents have told them not to support Everton cos they're the 'Prod' team. (Historically the Everton part of Liverpool had strong Orange lodge links). But i've also known Blues who's parents have told them not to support Liverpool cos they're the 'Proddie' team.... Some Everton fans get a bit of pleasure out of the facct that John Houlding-a leading orangeman-was one of the founders of Liverpool. However he was also a founding member of Everton.


----------



## Fedayn (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> Cos you lot ain't too bad you aren't proper Scouse bastards like them.



I think most Blues would argue different as regards being 'proper scousers'. Our support is arguably more centred on the city then theirs.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Fedayn said:


> (Historically the Everton part of Liverpool had strong Orange lodge links).


What a bit like Celtic's ground and rangers ground both being in mostly 'enemy' territory?

All I can say is I have heard Everton songs about being Catholic and the same Everton fans bitterly dismissed Liverpool as Orange bastards.... but like I said the tradition history now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merseyside_derby
During the 1950s and 1960s Everton were coined as the Catholic club



Oh we hate Bill Shankly, and we hate St John
But most of all, we hate Big Ron
And we'll hang the kopites one by one
On the banks of the Royal Blue Mersey

*So to hell with Liverpool and Rangers too*
We'll drown them all in the Mersey
And we'll fight, fight, fight with all our might

For the lads in the Royal Blue Jerseys.
btw fed just read there is a catholic chapel at one corner of goodison. is that true?


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Fedayn said:


> I think most Blues would argue different as regards being 'proper scousers'. Our support is arguably more centred on the city then theirs.



bit like the manc blues .


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> bit like the manc blues .


That's fightin talk (and bollox)


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

yes.

But isn't OT in Salford or something. You know. your neighbouring town?


----------



## Deareg (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> yes.
> 
> But isn't OT in Salford or something. You know. your neighbouring town?[/quote
> 
> But we were formed in Manchester and have all ways had a bigger support base in the city than the blues, it is quite easily proved.


----------



## Fedayn (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> What a bit like Celtic's ground and rangers ground both being in mostly 'enemy' territory?
> 
> All I can say is I have heard Everton songs about being Catholic and the same Everton fans bitterly dismissed Liverpool as Orange bastards.... but like I said the tradition history now.
> 
> ...




Yes I know the song, but I know plenty of Orcs at Everton. Stuart McCall had a relationship with a section of our 'Orange' support.The 'Catholic' club nomencalture was more to do with a few irish players signing rather than some marked division as three was/is up here.

St Lukes is in the corner of the ground where the Gwladys Street meets the Goodison Road/Main Stand. It's an Anglican chapel as it goes.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Deareg said:


> _But we were formed in Manchester and have all ways had a bigger support base in the city than the blues, it is quite easily proved._



yes but your 'proof' is not half as much sport as winding up Utd fans.


----------



## twistedAM (Jan 29, 2012)

LiamO said:


> yes but your 'proof' is not half as much sport as winding up Utd fans.



I spotted what you were doing there, and didn't think you needed any help, but here's a little tune:

You're the pride of
Your're the pride of
You're the pride of Singapore


----------



## LiamO (Jan 29, 2012)

Fedayn said:


> Yes I know the song, but I know plenty of Orcs at Everton. Stuart McCall had a relationship with a section of our 'Orange' support.



As no doubt did Drunken Duncan.

I can't find the song I was actually looking for. The first line was about being from Liverpool the second line was 'my religion Catholic'. But I am well aware that for most fans this old bollocks is history.

But the Liverpool Protestant Party was only disestablished in 1974 and had Councillors up to the 1960's.
In 1974 its members were invited to subsume themselves into the local Conservative Party, which they subsequently did.
wikipedia


----------



## kained&able (Jan 30, 2012)

The obvious one but i don't think i've seen it:

Adebayor, adebayooooor
your dad washes elephants
your mum is a whore.

My current favourite is a walsall chant sung at one of thier own players.

No spray no lay
no cash no gash
manny fresh fresh fresh
many fresh fresh fresh

Sung at Emmanuel "pop pop pop" Smith.

dave


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jan 30, 2012)

Mr. QofG's encountered this rather random one from other AFC Don's fans at a recent game, to the tune of "What shall we do with the drunken sailor", "More beer, fatter women. More beer, fatter women. More beer, fatter women. More beer, fatter women!"


----------



## 1927 (Jan 30, 2012)

Cardiff City fans to Coventry fans some years ago in the FA Cup "did the germans bomb your town?"


----------



## xes (Jan 30, 2012)

My daddy tought me this when I were just knee high t' grass hopper....

He's only a poor little goona
His face is all battered and torn
He made me feel sick, so I hit him with a brick
And now he don't sing anymore
Poor thing!


----------



## kained&able (Jan 30, 2012)

van per-sie when the girl says no molest-her

artful dodger.

dave


----------



## twistedAM (Jan 30, 2012)

1927 said:


> Cardiff City fans to Coventry fans some years ago in the FA Cup "did the germans bomb your town?"



That reminds me of the Man City classic: "Uwe's grandad bombed Old Trafford"


----------



## kained&able (Jan 30, 2012)

walsall used to sing this at former player troy deany.

Dontcha wish your striker was troy dean-y
dontcha wish your striker was a former brick-y
dontcha!

(pussy cat dolls)

always tickled me.

dave


----------



## LiamO (Jan 30, 2012)

1927 said:


> Cardiff City fans to Coventry fans some years ago in the FA Cup "did the germans bomb your town?"



Why is this witty though? Am I missing something?


----------



## xes (Jan 30, 2012)

Some team, can't remember who, singing to the spurs fans "your wrecked your own town, you wrecked your own town, what a bunch of wankers, you wrecked your own town"


----------



## xes (Jan 30, 2012)

I have a brithon fan in the house, and his fans sings "you're too ugly to be gay"


----------



## Lo Siento. (Jan 30, 2012)

xes said:


> My daddy tought me this when I were just knee high t' grass hopper....
> 
> He's only a poor little goona
> His face is all battered and torn
> ...


our version works better:

He's only a poor little budgie,
His feathers all tattered and torn,
He started to sing, so I filled the cunt in,
And now he don't sing anymooooooooore!

More evocative like


----------



## alsoknownas (Jan 30, 2012)

Glitter said:


> Also West Ham at Old Trafford a few years ago. We were dicking them by about four or five and they kept singing 'Lets pretend we've scored a goal', waited a few moments, celebrated like they'd scored then sang 4-1. This carried on until their fake goals were about seven to our five


I adapted this at Glastonbury following England's gloomy 4-1 defeat to Germany, which felt for a couple of hours as though it had spoiled the whole festival.  I got a section singing 'Let's pretend that England won', and dancing around like idiots .


----------



## chieftain (Jan 30, 2012)

Inverness Caledonian Thistle to Cowdenbeath

COWDEN FAMILY
(to the tune of the Addams Family)

They come frae near Lochgelly,
They havenae got a telly,
They’re dirty and they’re smelly,
The Cowden Family

The girls all have moustaches,
They’ve all got nasty rashes,
And nae cunt ever washes,
The Cowden Family


----------



## 1927 (Jan 30, 2012)

A chant that I started, and have probably repeated on here before.

Aston Villa v West Ham 1996. West Ham were wearing a change kit of yellow and claret. Me and a young friend started singing Harry Redknapp's rhubarb and custard army, and soon everyone joined in. West Ham walked out for second half accompanied by 3000 fans singing the theme tune to the well know BBC children's programme.

Years later I read the book West Ham til I dies by Robert Banks, and he said of the game,only memorable for the one and only appearance of the rhubarb and custard kit. My only sporting claim to fame!


----------



## LiamO (Jan 30, 2012)

1927 said:


> A chant that I started, and have probably repeated on here before.
> 
> Aston Villa v West Ham 1996. West Ham were wearing a change kit of yellow and claret. Me and a young friend started singing Harry Redknapp's rhubarb and custard army, and soon everyone joined in. West Ham walked out for second half accompanied by 3000 fans singing the theme tune to the well know BBC children's programme.
> 
> Years later I read the book West Ham til I dies by Robert Banks, and he said of the game,only memorable for the one and only appearance of the rhubarb and custard kit. My only sporting claim to fame!



doesn't fit the tune very well though


----------



## 1927 (Jan 30, 2012)

LiamO said:


> doesn't fit the tune very well though



Its all in the inflection.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 30, 2012)

1927 said:


> Its all in the inflection.



actually I can hear it working in a slowed-down brummie accent kind of way.

btw when ye play AT WHU do ye sing 'Chim chimanee chim chimanee chim chim charoo... we hate those bastards in Claret and blue'?


----------



## Idris2002 (Jan 30, 2012)

Deareg said:


> So, you are wrong, I could actually find it offensive that you are equating eating rats with being Irish.


----------



## LiamO (Jan 30, 2012)

Idris2002 said:


>



I don't think that qualifies as a football chant Idris. Yellow card for you. One more and you're off sunshine.


----------



## Corax (Jan 30, 2012)

For a little while, AFC Wimbledon's LB was Michael "MC" Harvey of So Solid Crew.  So Solid were in the press several times over alleged gun offences.

So whenever anyone fouled him, the crowd would start chanting the simple but effective _"Harvey's gonna shooot ya! Harvey's gonna shooot ya!"_


----------



## Lfc diehard (Feb 6, 2015)

O he's fat
O he's ugly
And his hairs glued to his head
O Wayne Rooney I wish you were fucking dead


----------



## LiamO (Feb 8, 2015)

That's neither funny nor particularly offensive... just shit. Written by an 8-year old?


----------



## CosmikRoger (Feb 8, 2015)

His eyes were offside
His eyes were offside
Mesut Ozil
His eyes were offside.


Funny and offensive, do I win five pounds?


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 11, 2015)

Very pissed Newcastle fans on the train the other week were intermittently singing this one ( to the tune of que sera):

'Oh Gerrard, Gerrard,
He kisses the badge on his chest,
and puts in a transfer request
Oh Gerrard, Gerrard!'


----------



## el-ahrairah (Feb 11, 2015)

it would be a liverpool fan who joins up solely to post a shit chant about rooney on a long dead thread.


----------



## Corax (Feb 11, 2015)

LiamO said:


> That's neither funny nor particularly offensive... just shit. Written by an 8-year old?


Agreed.  It's definitely not funny, and not really "offensive" - but it's certainly stepping over the line of being unnecessarily unpleasant.

And I say that as someone who thinks Rooney should have been dropped from the national team about 4 years ago.


CosmikRoger said:


> His eyes were offside
> His eyes were offside
> Mesut Ozil
> His eyes were offside.
> ...


Funny yes, but offensive?  I'm not so sure of that (in a football chant 'banter' context).  The guy _*does*_ have quite big bulging eyeballs.  He's also extremely talented _(eurgh - *washes mouth out with soap*)_, wealthy, successful, and appears to have his personal life together, so I doubt he really gives a shit.


----------



## LiamO (Feb 12, 2015)

Corax said:


> Agreed.  It's definitely not funny, and not really "offensive" - but it's certainly stepping over the line of being unnecessarily unpleasant.



Nah. It's just shit. And lazy.

And also not true. Rooney's hair is all his own.


----------



## miktheword (Feb 12, 2015)

kained&able said:


> The obvious one but i don't think i've seen it:
> 
> Adebayor, adebayooooor
> your dad washes elephants
> ...




Better was ' dimitar, dimitaaaaaar,
Ur mum washes windscreens
On the North Circulaaaar'


The Campbell song which gained so much publicity was obviously and meant to be offensive, but was more interesting to me in that the BBC, 5LIVE especially said it was racist, after the line ' it won't be long till ur hanging from a tree...'

They determined and allowed no response, that it alluded to KKK lynchings and not to the sad suicide of Justin fashanu..Tottenham fans suspected Campbell of being in the closet and the possible outing of this was reason behind his walking off from ground at half time having put West Ham two up on his own at the library...
Offensive on every level but not racist in any way...BBC had their agenda, kick it out, proletarian racist scum etc, knew nothing or preferred to ignore the long history.of anti racism of Tottenham fans and their firm..would not have been tolerated.


----------



## miktheword (Feb 12, 2015)

LiamO said:


> yes but your 'proof' is not half as much sport as winding up Utd fans.






Wasn't the Red riposte something along the lines of
' the city is yours...the city is yours...
10,000 empty seats
Are you fuckin sure?!'


----------



## Andyc1964 (Apr 15, 2017)

LiamO said:


> Obviously.  traditionally Liverpool would be the 'Proddy' team on Merseyside and Everton the Cat-lick one - although those days seem well gone for the vast majority of Liverpool fans.


So Everton formed by a Methodist Minister and The Shyte by a greedy landlord and his Orange Order Mates leans towards the shyte being Proddy and Everton Catholic. ...what a lpad of shite.....and why oh why bring religion into it. IS it not bad enough in Glasgow ( oh and I follow Rangers with a passion and support Everton with my SOUL)


----------



## Andyc1964 (Apr 15, 2017)

weepiper said:


> Seems these ones are all basically anti-Irish (a reference to the famine, no?)


Oh there was only the irish famine then lol ffs


----------



## Andyc1964 (Apr 15, 2017)

miktheword said:


> Wasn't the Red riposte something along the lines of
> ' the city is yours...the city is yours...
> 10,000 empty seats
> Are you fuckin sure?!'


The red Norse support ?????


----------



## co-op (Apr 16, 2017)

Andyc1964 said:


> So Everton formed by a Methodist Minister and The Shyte by a greedy landlord and his Orange Order Mates leans towards the shyte being Proddy and Everton Catholic. ...what a lpad of shite.....and why oh why bring religion into it. IS it not bad enough in Glasgow ( oh and I follow Rangers with a passion and support Everton with my SOUL)



http://www.toffeeweb.com/season/09-10/comment/fan/RedBlueGreenOrange.pdf


----------



## Captain Christy (Apr 16, 2017)

Underweight Five foot eight
Gerry Dalys fucking great.
Manchester United chant mid 70s for Irish lad Gerry Daly


----------



## alfajobrob (Apr 16, 2017)

Corax said:


> Agreed.  It's definitely not funny, and not really "offensive" - but it's certainly stepping over the line of being unnecessarily unpleasant.
> 
> And I say that as someone who thinks Rooney should have been dropped from the national team about 4 years ago.
> 
> Funny yes, but offensive?  I'm not so sure of that (in a football chant 'banter' context).  The guy _*does*_ have quite big bulging eyeballs.  He's also extremely talented _(eurgh - *washes mouth out with soap*)_, wealthy, successful, and appears to have his personal life together, so I doubt he really gives a shit.



He certainly does a passable Marty Feldman impression....thats probably why he is so sucessful...they think he is going to pass there but really he is looking 40metres to the left.


----------



## Corax (Apr 16, 2017)

alfajobrob said:


> He certainly does a passable Marty Feldman impression....thats probably why he is so sucessful...they think he is going to pass there but really he is looking 40metres to the left.


That quote about him being "extremely talented" hasn't aged well has it?


----------



## AnnO'Neemus (Apr 16, 2017)

"You fat bastard!" at FC United. It was funny. You had to be there.


----------

