# Queen Death: Thread for unhinged Tweets, opinions and behaviour



## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

I think this one could be a good one to start with:


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Boris Johnson's former lover goes straight for the Meghan, conveniently ignoring the nonce son and his behaviour


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Live feed of a flag courtesy of Sky News


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)




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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Free speech warrior and son of Piers Morgan calls for the deportation of shitposters


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## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

Please fucking deport me. At least until after the funeral.


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Shitposter gets over 100k likes (and some death threats)


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## Numbers (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Shitposter gets over 100k likes (and some death threats)



Some great replies from them.


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## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)

Prof doubles down on Liz hate:


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## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>





This is apparently the second time with a few years he’s used this phrase.

Just phoning it in really isn’t he


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## weltweit (Sep 8, 2022)

Placement and movement
The queen can be moved any number of unoccupied squares in a straight line vertically, horizontally, or diagonally, thus combining the moves of the *rook and bishop.*


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## Brainaddict (Sep 8, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> This is apparently the second time with a few years he’s used this phrase.
> 
> Just phoning it in really isn’t he


Seems there are Witchell watchers watching Witchell watch the Queen.


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## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

Brainaddict said:


> Seems there are Witchell watchers watching Witchell watch the Queen.



I nicked it off Mic Wright who wastes his time so we don’t have to


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## weepiper (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Skim (Sep 8, 2022)

Petsy’s proper riled now!


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## DaveCinzano (Sep 8, 2022)

Skim said:


> Petsy’s proper riled now!
> 
> View attachment 341625


Is she... Is she issuing an open invitation to a duel?
 ⚔️🔫🧐


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## SpookyFrank (Sep 8, 2022)

This all just makes we want to go on twitter and trigger some bootlickers.


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## electroplated (Sep 8, 2022)

SHE'S DEAD!


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## DaveCinzano (Sep 8, 2022)

electroplated said:


> SHE'S DEAD!


"Where were you when you received this momentous news, Grandpa?"

"In the bathroom having a piss, young whippersnapper"


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## cupid_stunt (Sep 8, 2022)

Truss wanted the monarchy to be abolished, I reckon she spiked the Queen's tea when they met yesterday.


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## T & P (Sep 8, 2022)

Channel 4 News reporter reporting live from outside Windsor Castle: ‘Just as the flag was lowered a few minutes ago, a rainbow appeared in the sky’.


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## 8ball (Sep 8, 2022)

GB News coverage has me in stitches.

Liz Truss about to reveal the murder weapon…


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## Nine Bob Note (Sep 8, 2022)

I’m waiting for the first picture of her maj being greeted at the pearly gates by captain tom


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## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 8, 2022)

weepiper said:


>



Between this and the Douglas Henshall furore it's been a great week.


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## Skim (Sep 8, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Is she... Is she issuing an open invitation to a duel?
> ⚔️🔫🧐


Yep… Balenciaga handbags at dawn 👜


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## Jimmy Don't (Sep 8, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I’m waiting for the first picture of her maj being greeted at the pearly gates by captain tom


Di in the background with a couple of snooker balls in a sock


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## 8ball (Sep 8, 2022)

This is going to involve Cliff Richard, isn’t it? 😬

I’m switching everything off til November.


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## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

The tribute everyone has been waiting for


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

Darren here, Tweeting through the tears with his cock on his hand


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## 8ball (Sep 8, 2022)

It’s as if no one has actually noticed that Liz Truss is Prime Minister.


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## platinumsage (Sep 8, 2022)




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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)

New Queen


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## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> The tribute everyone has been waiting for




Does anyone know whether she preferred chilli sauce or garlic?


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## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Does anyone know whether she preferred chilli sauce or garlic?


I don't think garlic was allowed in the house! I may have made that up or dreamt it?


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## Calamity1971 (Sep 8, 2022)

Ah, I didn't dream it. 








						Queen Elizabeth's Garlic Ban at Palace Has Twitter Wondering about 'Cross, Holy Water'
					

Though it is still not crystal clear if it is the hatred for the condiment or a well-thought decision, garlic is prohibited in Buckingham Palace.




					www.news18.com


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## Wolveryeti (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)




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## 8ball (Sep 8, 2022)

Any completely self-aware and not at all narcissistic words from Meghan Markle yet?


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)




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## DaveCinzano (Sep 8, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> The tribute everyone has been waiting for


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## gosub (Sep 8, 2022)

8ball said:


> Any completely self-aware and not at all narcissistic words from Meghan Markle yet?


She has had the sense to not go to Balmoral.


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## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

I've got a classic of French literature these folks really should read....

Eta. The official Les Miserables twitter account deleted their commiserations tweet after a lot of people told them about Les Miserables.


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## magneze (Sep 8, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


>



Tbf, that's brilliant 😂


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## bcuster (Sep 8, 2022)




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## QueenOfGoths (Sep 8, 2022)

Someone in Yammer has just asked if work will be closing on the day of the Queen's funeral so we can celebrate the life of "The greatest monarch in 1000 years".

I'm not sure whether to admire their huztpah or be glad they don't work in the same store as me!


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## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Someone in Yammer has just asked if work will be closing on the day of the Queen's funeral so we can celebrate the life of "The greatest monarch in 1000 years".
> 
> I'm not sure whether to admire their huztpah or be glad they don't work in the same store as me!


I'm surprised they put Canute  higher than Elizabeth I, Victoria or Henry VIII...


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## Clair De Lune (Sep 8, 2022)




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## 8ball (Sep 8, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Someone in Yammer has just asked if work will be closing on the day of the Queen's funeral so we can celebrate the life of "The greatest monarch in 1000 years".
> 
> I'm not sure whether to admire their huztpah or be glad they don't work in the same store as me!



I’ve quietly suggested that the clinical trials industry may want to shut down for this period of mourning..


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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Darren here, Tweeting through the tears with his cock on his hand




when he had finished having a grief wank


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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

oddly all over the place atm


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)




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## liquidindian (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> oddly all over the place atm




Funny enough I was wondering if I could be arsed doing that cartoon earlier 


Answer was no


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## cupid_stunt (Sep 8, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> I've got a classic of French literature these folks really should read....




Tweet deleted.

It's probably best to post screen grabs.


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## Plumdaff (Sep 8, 2022)

cupid_stunt said:


> Tweet deleted.
> 
> It's probably best to post screen grabs.


See edit


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## 2hats (Sep 8, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> I've got a classic of French literature these folks really should read....
> 
> Eta. The official Les Miserables twitter account deleted their commiserations tweet after a lot of people told them about Les Miserables.





cupid_stunt said:


> Tweet deleted.
> 
> It's probably best to post screen grabs.


For your reading pleasure.
​


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## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 8, 2022)




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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


>


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


>




she absolutely smashed it 

the enthusiasm of the delivery is quite admirably and friggin scary


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## eatmorecheese (Sep 8, 2022)




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## liquidindian (Sep 8, 2022)




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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> she absolutely smashed it
> 
> the enthusiasm of the delivery is quite admirably and friggin scary


Look, I think beyonce is more famous.


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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)




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## bcuster (Sep 8, 2022)

why are these tweets and reddits being deleted?


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## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 8, 2022)

Im guessing because all the flag shaggers are jumping on them for lack of respect.


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## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> This all just makes we want to go on twitter and trigger some bootlickers.


I don't think anyone's stopping you 

Any good replies post them up


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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

bcuster said:


> why are these tweets and reddits being deleted?



why its best to save them and then upload


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## cuppa tee (Sep 8, 2022)




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## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Look, I think beyonce is more famous.


How many boys did Queen Elizabeth II's milkshakes bring to the yard?


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

A380 said:


> How many boys did Queen Elizabeth II's milkshakes bring to the yard?


Oh. My. God.  What an embarrassment for you!

You could have gone with “if you liked it you should have put a crown on it”.


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## bcuster (Sep 8, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> why its best to save them and then upload


who is deleting them? i doubt it is anyone here on this message board...


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## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 8, 2022)




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## A380 (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Oh. My. God.  What an embarrassment for you!
> 
> You could have gone with “if you liked it you should have put a crown on it”.


Well, she did run (a large part of) the world


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## Orang Utan (Sep 8, 2022)




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## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

bcuster said:


> who is deleting them? i doubt it is anyone here on this message board...


Mi5.


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## souljacker (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

bcuster said:


> who is deleting them? i doubt it is anyone here on this message board...



ah reddit is trying to sell it soul atm 


so taken down anything that could be taken as that offensive

do you know the amount of snow flake right wingers around the world who are losing their shite at the people having fun at the death of the queen

its the hypocrisy of the anti woke crowd

they grab the pearls harder than anyone


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## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

Now, on _UK Mourning_, rain for 40 days and 40 nights, in memory of the Queen.


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## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

cuppa tee said:


>



Your words say more than real industrial action ever could. Sir Keith will be honoured


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## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

a touching tribute from crack converters


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

souljacker said:


> View attachment 341694


NOW I finally accept she’s dead.


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## Orang Utan (Sep 8, 2022)

bcuster said:


> who is deleting them? i doubt it is anyone here on this message board...


nobody's deleting them - it'll be the settings on your browser and/or the board software making them look as if they're deleted.
For instance, you posted a Reddit link that appears to be deleted until you click on the icon.


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Ax^ (Sep 8, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> nobody's deleting them - it'll be the settings on your browser and/or the board software making them look as if they're deleted.
> For instance, you posted a Reddit link that appears to be deleted until you click on the icon.



some of them


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## Karl Masks (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



Of all the memories I'll keep, of these dark days.....


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## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

cuppa tee said:


>



If the funeral does go ahead on the 18th they'd be slaughtered for being on strike the day before.


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## friedaweed (Sep 8, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


>



Bangin donk on it


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## Shellee (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Orang Utan (Sep 8, 2022)

Our new king:


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## Shellee (Sep 8, 2022)

Dominos Pizza making their logo black was funny - as someone commented “Someone, somewhere, just found out their Queen was dead from Dominos Pizza”


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## fucthest8 (Sep 8, 2022)




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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>


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## fucthest8 (Sep 8, 2022)

.


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## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> .



The apostrophe situation in that is very upsetting.

Oh it's gone...


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

I can’t tell what’s real and what’s parody any more.


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## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I can’t tell what’s real and what’s parody any more.



Only just now?


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## fucthest8 (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> The apostrophe situation in that is very upsetting.
> 
> Oh it's gone...



Has it?
I am confused.


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## moochedit (Sep 8, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> View attachment 341706


🤢 🤮


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## fucthest8 (Sep 8, 2022)

moochedit said:


> 🤢 🤮



I worked long and hard on that you twat


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> Only just now?


Not really. But I was referring to the masturbating/IBS tweets. I can’t tell if they’re real. If they are, who live-tweets their son wanking?


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## donkyboy (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> New Queen




loved this


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## fucthest8 (Sep 8, 2022)

Epona said:


> The apostrophe situation in that is very upsetting.
> 
> Oh it's gone...



Ah, I thought you meant the poem.

Sorry about that. Don't know what happened tbh


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## DotCommunist (Sep 8, 2022)

_wipes away tears_


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## Epona (Sep 8, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> Ah, I thought you meant the poem.
> 
> Sorry about that. Don't know what happened tbh



Yeah the apostrophes in the poem


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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> _wipes away tears_


There’s still Wimpys? Cool!


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## Tanya1982 (Sep 8, 2022)

I did consider switching over to GBNews for a laugh, but I haven't dared. It would be less like passing a car accident on the other side of the road than sitting in a strip lit hospital waiting room watching some poor sod being sectioned.


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## donkyboy (Sep 8, 2022)

Pretty interesting. So the BBC do have black suits ready.


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## tommers (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Not really. But I was referring to the masturbating/IBS tweets. I can’t tell if they’re real. If they are, who live-tweets their son wanking?


That's a parody account.


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## tommers (Sep 8, 2022)




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## danny la rouge (Sep 8, 2022)

tommers said:


> That's a parody account.


I accept that. You could just as easily say it isn’t and I’d accept that too.


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## tommers (Sep 8, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> I accept that. You could just as easily say it isn’t and I’d accept that too.


It absolutely had me going about some cycling tweet so I investigated it a bit. It's good cos it doesn't do the usual giveaways.


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## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

I've got a UK TV channel on, as they are sticking with usual programmes not endless fawning bollox, but they have cancelled the adverts, and just playing a couple of minutes of ambient-ish jangle every time there would have been adverts


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## Orang Utan (Sep 8, 2022)

__


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## Orang Utan (Sep 8, 2022)




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## scifisam (Sep 8, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> View attachment 341706



One of my sisters has just shared this. Not as a piss-take.


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## pbsmooth (Sep 8, 2022)

I don't think that's a real dildo emporium


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)




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## existentialist (Sep 8, 2022)

Skim said:


> Petsy’s proper riled now!
> 
> View attachment 341625


Bless.


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## Orang Utan (Sep 8, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> I don't think that's a real dildo emporium


Other dildo emporia are available:


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## Winot (Sep 8, 2022)

She’s gone to a better place (Shenfield).


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## steveseagull (Sep 8, 2022)




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## Puddy_Tat (Sep 8, 2022)

Winot said:


> She’s gone to a better place (Shenfield).


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## bluescreen (Sep 8, 2022)

Winot said:


> She’s gone to a better place (Shenfield).



That's actually rather good.


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## scifisam (Sep 8, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>




Is she one of the surprisingly large number of people who genuinely think we won't be able to use cash or stamps tomorrow?


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## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)




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## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Is she one of the surprisingly large number of people who genuinely think we won't be able to use cash or stamps tomorrow?



You must be shitting us.


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## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Is she one of the surprisingly large number of people who genuinely think we won't be able to use cash or stamps tomorrow?


Some of us are old enough to remember pre Elizabeth florins and shillings circulating  as 5p and 10p I think right through the 80s.


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## scifisam (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> You must be shitting us.



Not in the slightest. It's baffling.


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## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Not in the slightest. It's baffling.


It’s actually true. We can’t use Elizabeth post boxes either. And the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Govan is already being demolished.


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## scifisam (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Some of us are old enough to remember pre Elizabeth florins and shillings circulating  as 5p and 10p I think right through the 80s.



I am one of them despite being a whippersnapper by comparison. Although apparently old enough to use the term whippersnapper.

But even without that experience, no country would suddenly have no valid cash or stamps just because its monarch had died.


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## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s actually true. We can’t use Elizabeth post boxes either. And the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Govan is already being demolished.



And the elizabeth line across london has only been open a few months


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## Ax^ (Sep 9, 2022)




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## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

scifisam said:


> I am one of them despite being a whippersnapper by comparison. Although apparently old enough to use the term whippersnapper.
> 
> But even without that experience, no country would suddenly have no valid cash or stamps just because its monarch had died.


The only reason people think it is that decimalisation wiped out all the pre Brenda bank notes. And coin size redesign got rid of the last of the pre Liz coins. Else we’d have the evidence to the contrary in our wallets. Well, if we didn’t just use our phones.


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## scifisam (Sep 9, 2022)

And the woman who tweeted that followed it up with:



It's not a parody account.


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## Ax^ (Sep 9, 2022)




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## bluescreen (Sep 9, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Is she one of the surprisingly large number of people who genuinely think we won't be able to use cash or stamps tomorrow?





scifisam said:


> And the woman who tweeted that followed it up with:
> 
> View attachment 341726
> 
> It's not a parody account.


They all need to calm down.








						Bank of England statement as plans to change money to King Charles begins
					

The passing of our great monarch automatically kicked off a raft of changes to the United Kingdom, some of them changing for the first time in a lifetime




					www.chroniclelive.co.uk
				




[Edit] Tbf it's hard to see the words 'King Charles' without assuming a parody or scam.


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## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s actually true. We can’t use Elizabeth post boxes either.



i did read an (alleged) news article earlier that did (seemingly being serious) say that they didn't think post boxes would get taken out and replaced as there are still 'a few' George VI ones out there



there's still some queen victoria ones in use

and think the handful of Edward VIII ones have mostly got listed status.


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## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> And the elizabeth line across london has only been *partially* open a few months


Corrected for you


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## danny la rouge (Sep 9, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i did read an (alleged) news article earlier that did (seemingly being serious) say that they didn't think post boxes would get taken out and replaced as there are still 'a few' George VI ones out there
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Fucking hell, there’s still weeks of this stuff to go.


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## Dr. Furface (Sep 9, 2022)




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## petee (Sep 9, 2022)

the view from America


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## belboid (Sep 9, 2022)

scifisam said:


> And the woman who tweeted that followed it up with:
> 
> View attachment 341726
> 
> It's not a parody account.


this is tradition. each monarch faces in a different direction to the previous one.


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## bcuster (Sep 9, 2022)




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## bcuster (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> It’s actually true. We can’t use Elizabeth post boxes either. And the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Govan is already being demolished.


Will the RN rename your grand new aircraft carrier?


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## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

bcuster said:


> Will thr RN rename your grand new aircraft Carrier?



Being sold for scrap


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## petee (Sep 9, 2022)

[NOTE: Do Not Run Until Fucking Queen Is Dead Or People Will Lose Their Shit] Queen Elizabeth Dead At 96
					

[ED. — DO NOT PUBLISH UNTIL AWFUL LADY IN THE GROUND]




					www.theonion.com


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## ouirdeaux (Sep 9, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I’m waiting for the first picture of her maj being greeted at the pearly gates by captain tom





Parody account, though.


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## bcuster (Sep 9, 2022)




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## Spymaster (Sep 9, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> View attachment 341706



Where the fuck did that come from?


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## ouirdeaux (Sep 9, 2022)

Heaven. Obviously.


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## LDC (Sep 9, 2022)

Is there no tasteful Queen stuff to buy on the internet yet? Surely there's some lovely boxer shorts or thongs some mourning entrepreneur had knocked up in memory?


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## danski (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


>



Still, at least you managed to shame your child on the internet. Well done, twat.

Eta..,Oh, just read it’s a parody account


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## Plumdaff (Sep 9, 2022)

scifisam said:


> And the woman who tweeted that followed it up with:
> 
> View attachment 341726
> 
> It's not a parody account.


They'll show the back of his head?


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## Spymaster (Sep 9, 2022)

LDC said:


> Is there no tasteful Queen stuff to buy on the internet yet? Surely there's some lovely boxer shorts or thongs some mourning entrepreneur had knocked up in memory?



Don’t worry. Very shortly there’s going to be more Chas coronation tat than you can shake a wobbly stick at.


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## LDC (Sep 9, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> Don’t worry. Very shortly there’s going to be more Chas coronation tat than you can shake a wobbly stick at.



I don't think I'll feel fully over the death until I've seen someone from Love Island drunkenly sobbing while wearing a Queeny RIP bikini.


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## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

Dan's been triggered  What a snowflake!


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## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 9, 2022)




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## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 9, 2022)




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## fucthest8 (Sep 9, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> Where the fuck did that come from?



We got it from some support group Mrs St8 belongs to, although even that was a pearoast.

Nowt so queer as folk. Imagine voluntarily spending your time creating that? Amazing.


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## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

A380 said:


> How many boys did Queen Elizabeth II's milkshakes bring to the yard?


That's Kelis you disrespectful cunt


tommers said:


> That's a parody account.


I honestly couldn't tell!


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## dessiato (Sep 9, 2022)

Winot said:


> She’s gone to a better place (Shenfield).



I read that as Sheffield at first.


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## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 9, 2022)




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## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 9, 2022)




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## Edie (Sep 9, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 341741


This is the quality content this threads been waiting for


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## killer b (Sep 9, 2022)

when did Paddington die?


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## Shippou-Sensei (Sep 9, 2022)

killer b said:


> View attachment 341745
> 
> when did Paddington die?


He cannot die. He is forever trapped. Cursed to ferry the souls of the dead.


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## Gerry1time (Sep 9, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 341741



</thread>


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## Storm Fox (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> There’s still Wimpys? Cool!


I know there is one in Andover.


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## Dr. Furface (Sep 9, 2022)




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## Idris2002 (Sep 9, 2022)

Hope I'm not too late with this one!


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

love teh fact that it's already worked its way into the predictative google...


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

if anyone has got any Truther or Covid wackjobs "theories" it'll be amusing to see


----------



## tommers (Sep 9, 2022)

Hahahaha.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Dan's been triggered  What a snowflake!



novichok handshake


----------



## spudulike (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 9, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> novichok handshake


And there's the band's name right there 👍


----------



## liquidindian (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Yossarian (Sep 9, 2022)

killer b said:


> View attachment 341745
> 
> when did Paddington die?



And why did they only sacrifice one corgi to accompany the monarch in the afterlife?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> There’s still Wimpys? Cool!


It's the location's burger king didn't want to buy iirc.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



Just replace them all with imperial measurements


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 9, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 341741



That’s my favourite. Gonna be very hard to beat 🤣


----------



## prunus (Sep 9, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> That’s my favourite. Gonna be very hard to beat 🤣



If she does come back as a gargantuan zombie cloud monster I will definitely pay more attention to the proceedings to be honest.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 9, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 341741


I'm pleased that she was allowed to take a hat into the afterlife.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

Same cloud showed up when Yoda pegged it an'all.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 9, 2022)

Epona said:


> Does anyone know whether she preferred chilli sauce or garlic?


you wan chilli sauce mate?

Chili Sauce please, dear sir!


----------



## spudulike (Sep 9, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 341741



I won't believe she's "ascended" until her image appears burnt on my toast, or her eyes on my banknotes weep blood.


----------



## T & P (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

spudulike said:


> I won't believe she's "ascended" until her image appears burnt on my toast, or her eyes on my banknotes weep blood.


i weep blood everytime i have to hand one over


----------



## RubyToogood (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## spitfire (Sep 9, 2022)

Sorry if pearoast but not had a chance to check the last few pages.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 9, 2022)

the way right-wing snowflake-bashing anti-woke gammons start crying over an 'unelected official' who reigns over them, takes their money, makes them kneel, where's a gold hat and swans around from gigantic council house to house, is just baffling to me


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Sorry if pearoast but not had a chance to check the last few pages.





I see sas has discovered TikTok.


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 9, 2022)

Chip shop owner sparked fury by proclaiming 'Lizard Liz is dead'
					

Enraged Brits pelted eggs at Jaki Fish and Chip Shop, in Muir of Ord, after the restaurant's owner posted a video online celebrating the death Queen Elizabeth II.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Chip shop owner sparked fury by proclaiming 'Lizard Liz is dead'
> 
> 
> Enraged Brits pelted eggs at Jaki Fish and Chip Shop, in Muir of Ord, after the restaurant's owner posted a video online celebrating the death Queen Elizabeth II.
> ...






> The *apparent *anti-monarchist's post


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Sorry if pearoast but not had a chance to check the last few pages.



I was waiting for the punchline, but it turns out the whole video was the punchline


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 9, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> oddly all over the place atm


Assuming the bold/non bold text indicates who is talking then Death was the best queen. Who knew?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

THe best part was when Boris partied, against his own rules, while Prince Philip was buried.

The best part was when the Queen had to wear a mask and socially distance at the funeral of the man she was married to longer than Dan Wooton, who mocked wearing masks and socially distancing, has been alive.

I love this country


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

What?? 



Is it 'cause purple is imperial and silver is... shiny?


----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 9, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Sorry if pearoast but not had a chance to check the last few pages.



If that's a satirical send up of grief-porn and the need to share every private moment via social media, it's brilliant.  If that's an actual human being broadcasting his private grief, it's a quite staggering display of narcissistic self-indulgence.  What a bellend


----------



## fucthest8 (Sep 9, 2022)

Zapp Brannigan said:


> If that's a satirical send up of grief-porn and the need to share every private moment via social media, it's brilliant.  If that's an actual human being broadcasting his private grief, it's a quite staggering display of narcissistic self-indulgence.  What a bellend



I love that there's no real way of knowing which it is


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> What??
> 
> 
> 
> Is it 'cause purple is imperial and silver is... shiny?



A giant purple tower, thrusting toward heaven, it's what she would have wanted. Spunking light


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Sad, but what else could he do, poor lad?


----------



## T & P (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Sad, but what else could he do, poor lad?



Fucking waste of a tasty takeaway meal


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Fookin' 'ell, the Eiffel is bloody sentient! 



Though not going mad, keeping it fabulous until midnight


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> Fucking waste of a tasty takeaway meal


We don't eat the dead, lad. Not even our betters


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> What??
> 
> 
> 
> Is it 'cause purple is imperial and silver is... shiny?




maybe purple is just the colour she is ATM


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

In honour of her Majesty I'm going to play Overwatch on my ps4, but I'll only be playing Tracer, the British character. Though I might also play Symmetra, the character from India and call for independence


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 9, 2022)

I'm having a wank but will only be watching mature British porn.


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> I'm having a wank but will only be watching mature British porn.


with your right, and thus _correct_, hand I trust


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 9, 2022)

The weather has neem cancelled. No weather this week


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 9, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> with your right, and thus _correct_, hand I trust


I presume I salute with my other hand


----------



## cuppa tee (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> Fucking waste of a tasty takeaway meal


_A succulent Chinese meal?_


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 9, 2022)

Clearly those are white fishnets, the traitor


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> with your right, and thus _correct_, hand I trust




Dieu et mon droit.


----------



## CNT36 (Sep 9, 2022)

I'm meant to be in a gig rowing championships next week but the organisers "are considering the best and most respectful course of action." What bollocks. I loved my gran. I'd met her. Holidayed with her. Slept round her house most weekends. She let me stay up to watch Terminator, Die Hard, Predator and who knows what else when I was very young. After talking to my mum and sister who both said Gran wouldn't want me to miss it or let others down I raced hours after she passed away. Why even consider canceling over a week after someone the vast majority of competitors never met died?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 9, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I’m waiting for the first picture of her maj being greeted at the pearly gates by captain tom


Here's a local Captain Tom postbox.  Someone has knitted a crown and a corgi and put them on top.

Mawkishness hits new heights.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Ax^ (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 9, 2022)

A tiny violin is playing for all those poor QCs whose job title has changed overnight and who now have to shell out for new stationery


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 9, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> I'm having a wank but will only be watching mature British porn.


With sausage fingers?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> A tiny violin is playing for all those poor QCs whose job title has changed overnight and who now have to shell out for new stationery




But they can add ‘and the sunshine band’ to their shit, so happy days.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 9, 2022)

5t3IIa said:


> View attachment 341840


Haha, that’s Frank Broughton - lovely bloke!


----------



## Winot (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## LDC (Sep 9, 2022)

That's the shit we need. Nails like that and a Prince Phillip thong to match. Truly respectful RIP.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 9, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> Haha, that’s Frank Broughton - lovely bloke!


Frank Boughs Tons more like, AMIRITE?!


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 9, 2022)

Six years of medical school to come up with this...


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## quimcunx (Sep 9, 2022)

I also noticed her hands in the Truss photo. You can send my medical degree in the post.


----------



## T & P (Sep 9, 2022)

She's been spotted in the sky again...


----------



## A380 (Sep 9, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Here's a local Captain Tom postbox.  Someone has knitted a crown and a corgi and put them on top.
> 
> Mawkishness hits new heights.
> 
> View attachment 341834



Is that Marston Moretaine?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 9, 2022)

A380 said:


> Is that Marston Moretaine?


yes!


----------



## A380 (Sep 9, 2022)

Didn’t realise you were a bedfordshire type…


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

quimcunx said:


> I also noticed her hands in the Truss photo. You can send my medical degree in the post.


I watched all 15 seasons of ER during lockdown so I'm pretty much an Attending by now...


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> She's been spotted in the sky again...
> 
> View attachment 341853


Lizzie in the sky with blood diamonds


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

Sue said:


> I watched all 15 seasons of ER during lockdown so I'm pretty much an Attending by now...


Did you do all of house?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 9, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Did you do all of house?


I've had more than my fair share of loo pus 🤢


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 9, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> I've had more than my fair share of loo pus 🤢


It's a series starring Hugh laurie


----------



## Chz (Sep 9, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Sorry if pearoast but not had a chance to check the last few pages.



TBF, I know the military types love their Queenie so it must be hard on them. She allowed them the fiction to believe they were serving their nana, and not the whims of some tosspot politician. Very much the same in the other countries where she was HoS.


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> Did you do all of house?


Wasn't available for free AFAIK but yeah, if I did that, I'd be unstoppable...


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

as an antidote to the dismal music fare on the MS channels:



anyone else?


----------



## bcuster (Sep 9, 2022)

there is more than one way to interpret this...


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 9, 2022)

Surely it's only a matter of time before she's beatified?


----------



## petee (Sep 9, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Surely it's only a matter of time before she's beatified?



can't be, she was in an apostate church.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 9, 2022)

bit of a weird name


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 9, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> View attachment 341861



Did she cross the Rainbow Bridge and go to dog heaven?


----------



## Chz (Sep 9, 2022)

petee said:


> can't be, she was in an apostate church.


Always thought the CofE was a bit weird in venerating any saints canonised before they split with Rome, but not making their own afterwards. There are "heroes" and martyrs that have their own days and whatnot, but they're not exclusively Anglican. Eg: Maximillian Kolbe has a thingie-wotsit in Westminster Abbey, even though he's a Catholic saint.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> She's been spotted in the sky again...
> 
> View attachment 341853


Looks more like Sooty to me


----------



## Clair De Lune (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## petee (Sep 9, 2022)

a little compendium here



			https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/09/jokes-queen-elizabeth-death.html
		

_
white Twitter and Black Twitter rubbed shoulders, Irish Twitter rallied then went to the pub._


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 9, 2022)

quiet guy said:


> Looks more like Sooty to me


No, it's Tinky Winky


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> bit of a weird name
> 
> 
> View attachment 341864


She named her son Emotional Charles? Is that like a Nigerian thing? Like Goodluck Johnson?


----------



## krink (Sep 9, 2022)

Clair De Lune said:


> View attachment 341865


Thought my version was good (and earlier) but nobody shared it


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

Sex Pistols for christmas number 1, i'm calling it now.

THough I bet Lydon's a proper monarchist now, the twat.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 9, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Sex Pistols for christmas number 1, i'm calling it now.



Maybe if they reworked the lyrics.

"God save the king, the fascist ... old thing?"


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Clair De Lune said:


> View attachment 341865


Sent that to a mate of mine who has, for many years, been in a band called Punching Swans


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 9, 2022)

Looks like Philip is helping her into a Black Hole!!


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 9, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Looks like Philip is helping her into a Black Hole!!
> 
> View attachment 341871


Had that ready to roll at a moment's notice 👍


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 9, 2022)

I need to get into Tik Tok. There is some wild shit on there


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 9, 2022)

Clair De Lune said:


> View attachment 341865



Only if you want a broken arm, obv.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 9, 2022)

Here is a longer video he did with his mate


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Did she cross the Rainbow Bridge and go to dog heaven?



If there's no dogs there, it ain't heaven!


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Wine?


----------



## Tooter (Sep 9, 2022)

I've been hearing reports that the local supermarkets have silenced the checkouts beeping and turned off the children's rides for the duration of mourning.....what with weatherspoons announcing they will not be playing music in their establishments and the local community centre cancelling the bacon butty and tea chats in the morning as a 'sign of respect' I'm starting to wonder if there is a limit on the rediculous empty gestures


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> In honour of her Majesty I'm going to play Overwatch on my ps4, but I'll only be playing Tracer, the British character. Though I might also play Symmetra, the character from India and call for independence



I’m going to play Dying Light, but my character will have the England flag outfit.


----------



## Flavour (Sep 9, 2022)

i know we should avoid twitter and stuff but this is one for the "aged well" category of liz truss, apols if already posted


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> View attachment 341849



I was waiting for this kind of thing - surprised I didn’t see any yesterday.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

Tooter said:


> I've been hearing reports that the local supermarkets have silenced the checkouts beeping and turned off the children's rides for the duration of mourning.....what with weatherspoons announcing they will not be playing music in their establishments and the local community centre cancelling the bacon butty and Tea chats in the morning as a 'sign of respect' I'm starting to wonder if there is a limit on the rediculous empty gestures



TBF, I hate all that background noise anyway.  I don't think there is any crappier music than supermarket background music, with the possible exception of music played at funerals.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 9, 2022)

Tooter said:


> I've been hearing reports that the local supermarkets have silenced the checkouts beeping and turned off the children's rides for the duration of mourning.....what with weatherspoons announcing they will not be playing music in their establishments and the local community centre cancelling the bacon butty and Tea chats in the morning as a 'sign of respect' I'm starting to wonder if there is a limit on the rediculous empty gestures


Dare I say it... a lot of these gestures seem more out of fear of offending someone, than genuine respect.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 9, 2022)

Some serious mourning here


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> TBF, I hate all that background noise anyway.  I don't think there is any crappier music than supermarket background music, with the possible exception of music played at funerals.



My Uncle is getting _Bat Out Of Hell_ played at his funeral next week.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> My Uncle is getting _Bat Out Of Hell_ played at his funeral next week.



It pisses all over "Wind Beneath My Wings."  Bette Midler has a lot of answer for with that song.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

Organisation I work for has come up with some 'respectful' teams backgrounds, rather than the standard one (don't think i've ever seen anyone use it) that's in corporate bilious green.

Choice is light grey, dark grey, black - presumably you choose one depending on just how upset you are


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Dare I say it... a lot of these gestures seem more out of fear of offending someone, than genuine respect.



yes - and there's a certain competitiveness to it - the  'we care more than you do' - like how remembrance day / poppies has gone.

which of course is nothing like 'marxist virtue signalling' for BLM or pride month or anything like that...


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> yes - and there's a certain competitiveness to it - the  'we care more than you do' - like how remembrance day / poppies has gone.
> 
> which of course is nothing like 'marxist virtue signalling' for BLM or pride month or anything like that...



You mean they say it's nothing like that, or you do?


----------



## liquidindian (Sep 9, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> View attachment 341886


I much preferred this jubilee tribute. Queen Elizabeth is now a Warhammer 40k model


----------



## editor (Sep 9, 2022)

Three days later....


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

editor said:


> View attachment 341890
> 
> Three days later....


Holy shit


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> You mean they say it's nothing like that, or you do?



umm - would have thought it fairly obvious i mean the former.  the people who make the most noise about 'virtue signalling' and 'cancel culture' tend to be the same ones who start calling for people to be 'cancelled' if they don't wear a big enough poppy, or wear a black tie at the right time and so on


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Not really such a great time for free speech atm; reckon there's a lot of folk using that censor in their head.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Not really such a great time for free speech atm; reckon there's a lot of folk using that censor in their head.



Same shit, different day, slightly different people.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

and while i think the whole monarchy thing is bollocks, my inner pedant is annoyed by people referring to the late queen or the new king as 'HRH' not 'HM'

if you're going to do the toadying, get it bloody right...


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> Same shit, different day, slightly different people.


Both sides, eh?


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> umm - would have thought it fairly obvious i mean the former.  the people who make the most noise about 'virtue signalling' and 'cancel culture' tend to be the same ones who start calling for people to be 'cancelled' if they don't wear a big enough poppy, or wear a black tie at the right time and so on



I don't think anyone has mentioned me not wearing a poppy since I started not wearing one.
I wonder if there might be something of a poppy-shagging resurgence this year.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> and while i think the whole monarchy thing is bollocks, my inner pedant is annoyed by people referring to the late queen or the new king as 'HRH' not 'HM'
> 
> if you're going to do the toadying, get it bloody right...



Bloody peasants and their inaccurate toadying.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 9, 2022)

editor said:


> View attachment 341890
> 
> Three days later....


If she doesn't do this, it ought to be apparent that she wasn't magic after all and all this royalty nonsense can be stopped once and forever.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Re: the censor in everyone's head - I've been wondering whether keeping a firm line on patriotism is something expected more from men, because I've been totally uncensored on Facebook and most of the lols are from women.  On the other hand, most of the expressions of upset are from women too (upset about the Queen, not about my antics).
Maybe it's just that men are meant to be quiet at such times.  Or maybe there's some tradition of monarch mourning behaviour that I've forgotten.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> If she doesn't do this, it ought to be apparent that she wasn't magic after all and all this royalty nonsense can be stopped once and forever.



Yeah?  Well how do you explain the clouds?


----------



## tommers (Sep 9, 2022)

I work for an American company and they are all very upset on our behalf. Lots of emails about how they understand how upset we must be and how she was a compassionate, loving mother and they are hoping that we can work with our grief.  The boss of the whole company was telling us about how his mother modelled herself on HRH today. I mean it's very sweet and nice of them but I don't think any of us really care. We all have to agree though, to not be rude.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

tommers said:


> I work for an American company and they are all very upset on our behalf. Lots of emails about how they understand how upset we must be and how she was a compassionate, loving mother and they are hoping that we can work with our grief.  The boss of the whole company was telling us about how his mother modelled herself on HRH today. I mean it's very sweet and nice of them but I don't think any of us really care. We all have to agree though, to not be rude.



My company, including international offices, and assorted clients have become pretty aware today how few fucks I give.


----------



## nottsgirl (Sep 9, 2022)

I just went past two shops that had a commemorative window display. One was an estate agents but instead of houses they had loads of pictures of the queen and one was a florist and they had pictures and crowns and flowers. The mind boggles.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

nottsgirl said:


> One was an estate agents but instead of houses they had loads of pictures of the queen...



"Dead monarch in sought-after location with fine views of Westminster Hall.  Lower floors haunted.  Requires extensive renovation.  £650,000."


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## steveseagull (Sep 9, 2022)

I am proper pacing myself.

Just thinking, historians in 300 or 400 years time are going to look at this threat and think FUCKING HELL


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)

tommers said:


> I work for an American company and they are all very upset on our behalf. Lots of emails about how they understand how upset we must be and how she was a compassionate, loving mother and they are hoping that we can work with our grief.  The boss of the whole company was telling us about how his mother modelled herself on HRH today. I mean it's very sweet and nice of them but I don't think any of us really care. We all have to agree though, to not be rude.




His mum was a work shy racing fanatic who used to rock up to the local shop with a pair of scissors and cut the security barriers?


----------



## editor (Sep 9, 2022)

Banksy, apprently


----------



## bcuster (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Sep 9, 2022)

liquidindian said:


> I much preferred this jubilee tribute. Queen Elizabeth is now a Warhammer 40k model


Downloaded


----------



## Winot (Sep 9, 2022)

bcuster said:


>



Think he means 40% non-white.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Bishops over keyboard moment!


----------



## nottsgirl (Sep 9, 2022)

bcuster said:


>



Vile.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 9, 2022)

5t3IIa said:


> View attachment 341904



Last time i had pie and mash it cost about 15p. Wasn't old enough for the pint.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Winot said:


> Think he means 40% non-white.



I think London is about 44% white isn’t it?

Anyway, this lot were not representative of any ethnic group.  Look mostly like a bunch of weird poshos.


----------



## editor (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Winot (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> I think London is about 44% white isn’t it?


That’s white British (2011 census). Just under 60% white total. 

Broader point stands of course.


----------



## editor (Sep 9, 2022)

For old time's sake


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Winot said:


> That’s white British (2011 census). Just under 60% white total.
> 
> Broader point stands of course.



I think there’s quite a lot of change in the last 10 years.  I read somewhere that a lot of white non-British have left in the last couple of years (gone back to Europe etc.).  

I lost a lot of work colleagues to Italy, Germany, Ukraine and Spain not that long after Brexit.

In other industries a lot went to Eastern Europe.

Is a side point, obv.


----------



## bcuster (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

tommers said:


> I work for an American company and they are all very upset on our behalf. Lots of emails about how they understand how upset we must be and how she was a compassionate, loving mother and they are hoping that we can work with our grief.  The boss of the whole company was telling us about how his mother modelled herself on HRH today. I mean it's very sweet and nice of them but I don't think any of us really care. We all have to agree though, to not be rude.


You're surely all so upset you need at least one paid day off..?


----------



## fucthest8 (Sep 9, 2022)

bcuster said:


>




Who is that fucking scumbag then?
Corey Wolf I mean, in case that's not clear


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 9, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> Who is that fucking scumbag then?
> Corey Wolf I mean, in case that's not clear


Nuff said


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> Who is that fucking scumbag then?
> Corey Wolf I mean, in case that's not clear



You’ll be unsurprised to hear that he has a podcast…


----------



## fucthest8 (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> You’ll be unsurprised to hear that he has a podcast…



Well, that's not exactly a hanging offence, I like several podcasts. If it's racist scumbag grifty bullshit though, well.

On Gab, indeed


----------



## bcuster (Sep 9, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> Who is that fucking scumbag then?
> Corey Wolf I mean, in case that's not clear


a racist nobody


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Gab being one of those things like Rumbler?


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 9, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> Who is that fucking scumbag then?
> Corey Wolf I mean, in case that's not clear



Some racist American cunt on Twitter.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

fucthest8 said:


> Well, that's not exactly a hanging offence, I like several podcasts.



Me too, but you’re not a proper racist pseudo-intellectual without a podcast.


----------



## tommers (Sep 9, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> His mum was a work shy racing fanatic who used to rock up to the local shop with a pair of scissors and cut the security barriers?


She wore a hat or something. TBH I'd stopped listening.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Apathy (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 9, 2022)

tommers said:


> I work for an American company and they are all very upset on our behalf. Lots of emails about how they understand how upset we must be and how she was a compassionate, loving mother and they are hoping that we can work with our grief.  The boss of the whole company was telling us about how his mother modelled herself on HRH today. I mean it's very sweet and nice of them but I don't think any of us really care. We all have to agree though, to not be rude.


Didn't you try and blag compassionate leave?


----------



## Sue (Sep 9, 2022)

Apathy said:


> View attachment 341920


Such utter batshittery. 

French TV found some bloke with corgis to interview outside Buckingham Palace. Full of insights is all I'll say.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 9, 2022)

bcuster said:


>




That whole thread is full of nazi shit.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> That whole thread is full of nazi shit.



I can’t see much due to Twitter crapping out cos I don’t have an account, but what I could see was pretty ugly.


----------



## editor (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 9, 2022)

Apathy said:


> View attachment 341920


 ffs


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 9, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> There’s still Wimpys? Cool!


I got a job as a barman at a bowling alley once, they had wimpy indoors at all their branches. They tried to make me train for the wimpy but I pointed out that I answered the job advert for a barman not a burger man job. They tried to rope me into doing lane dances at the kiddies parties at one point. Just be a multirole clown for your 20p above minimum  wage gtf.

In any case that's the only Wimpys I've seen in the 21st century

I think maomao still has a real wimpy near him iirc


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Apathy said:


> View attachment 341920ly


If only Urban had a resident expert who might advise us on the mass telepathic propensity of particular pooch breeds!


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 9, 2022)

Apathy said:


> View attachment 341920



That’s clearly someone taking the piss


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Classy from Beckton.


----------



## mango5 (Sep 9, 2022)

Thread of the year nominee

_subscribes_


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Classy from Beckton.
> 
> View attachment 341927



OMFG


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> That’s clearly someone taking the piss



It’s in that uncanny valley sort of area.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 9, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Classy from Beckton.
> 
> View attachment 341927


We own it anyway.


----------



## Skim (Sep 9, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> I got a job as a barman at a bowling alley once, they had wimpy indoors at all their branches. They tried to make me train for the wimpy but I pointed out that I answered the job advert for a barman not a burger man job. They tried to rope me into doing lane dances at the kiddies parties at one point. Just be a multirole clown for your 20p above minimum  wage gtf.
> 
> In any case that's the only Wimpys I've seen in the 21st century
> 
> I think maomao still has a real wimpy near him iirc


I’ve got a Wimpy a couple of miles away from me in south London. Went there a few weeks ago and had a beanburger. Might go again this weekend and have dessert this time (Brown Derby).


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

Nice touch from the Crossness STW Sludge Powered ERF Generator at Belvedere on the Thames:


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> In any case that's the only Wimpys I've seen in the 21st century





Skim said:


> I’ve got a Wimpy a couple of miles away from me in south London. Went there a few weeks ago and had a beanburger. Might go again this weekend and have dessert this time (Brown Derby).



looks like there's a couple of dozen inside the M25


----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

...if only she hadn't herself been....fucsake


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 9, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Sep 9, 2022)

eatmorecheese said:


>



Quite surprised that the orchestrated poshos didn't notice that corgi shaped cloud right behind them


----------



## prunus (Sep 9, 2022)

Apathy said:


> View attachment 341920



Fuck. Off. I’m sorry, but, no, just fuck off. And in fact I’m not sorry.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 9, 2022)

When you argue with your royalist auntie and you sound even more unhinged than your auntie does


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

eatmorecheese said:


>




I don’t agree with a lot of Limmy’s takes on things, but that one really sums things up perfectly for me.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Sep 9, 2022)

Ibiza remembers


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Wearing mah mourning hat.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 9, 2022)

Have we had this?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 9, 2022)

Things that didn't happen.


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> I don’t agree with a lot of Limmy’s takes on things, but that one really sums things up perfectly for me.


what he's describing is the sense of uncanny imo. Funny but not ha-ha. Why are all these people, grown, rational people doing...this? See when Diana shuffled I was 14 so wondered if I was weird for not feeling it. Now I know I am weird but not because royal mortality leaves me unmoved.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

sleaterkinney said:


> Ibiza remembers



The inspiration for this must have come when they hit that cocaine sweet spot

100/100 respect points, even the percussionist had a black cap on


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> what he's describing is the sense of uncanny imo. Funny but not ha-ha. Why are all these people, grown, rational people doing...this? See when Diana shuffled I was 14 so wondered if I was weird for not feeling it. Now I know I am weird but not because royal mortality leaves me unmoved.



Yeah, that feeling that a lot of the people you walk among are capable of behaving in very strange ways as if on cue.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> I got a job as a barman at a bowling alley once, they had wimpy indoors at all their branches. They tried to make me train for the wimpy but I pointed out that I answered the job advert for a barman not a burger man job. They tried to rope me into doing lane dances at the kiddies parties at one point. Just be a multirole clown for your 20p above minimum  wage gtf.
> 
> In any case that's the only Wimpys I've seen in the 21st century
> 
> I think maomao still has a real wimpy near him iirc



There is one in Loughton if you fancy an egg bender


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 9, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> There is one in Loughton if you fancy an egg bender



post reported for calling him a bender


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 9, 2022)

sleaterkinney said:


> Ibiza remembers



oh christ


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> post reported for calling him a bender



Don't have a cow, man.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Don't have a cow, man.
> 
> View attachment 341959



And people were saying it was like we were an occupied state when it was Pride month.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 9, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Don't have a cow, man.
> 
> View attachment 341959


Royale with extra cheese


----------



## Epona (Sep 9, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Don't have a cow, man.
> 
> View attachment 341959



Extra pickles on mine please


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 9, 2022)

I'm not sure shes going to go far spread out between a few thousand Maccy D's tbh.


----------



## tommers (Sep 9, 2022)

Did they have those sexy household guard uniforms just hanging about?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> Wearing mah mourning hat.
> 
> View attachment 341951



Can we still expect to see you on AEW this week?


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Can we still expect to see you on AEW this week?



I have no idea what that is.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 9, 2022)

8ball said:


> I have no idea what that is.



No use asking you your take on the CM Punk situation then?


----------



## 8ball (Sep 9, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> No use asking you your take on the CM Punk situation then?



…. that would be an ecumenical matter.


----------



## elbows (Sep 9, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> No use asking you your take on the CM Punk situation then?


I dont think Ace Steel threw a chair into the queens eye.


----------



## pseudonarcissus (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## steveseagull (Sep 10, 2022)

I keep thinking it is not as unhinged as the Diana tunnel death debacle. Then I catch up with this thread and think aye...


----------



## 8ball (Sep 10, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> I keep thinking it is not as unhinged as the Diana tunnel death debacle. Then I catch up with this thread and think aye...



I’m wondering where it will peak relative to the Diana thing.

The Diana thing was less expected, but also didn’t lead to a change in the management at the top of the Firm.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 10, 2022)

mango5 said:


> Thread of the year nominee
> 
> _subscribes_


Wagatha Christie thread wants a word


----------



## passenger (Sep 10, 2022)

eatmorecheese said:


> oh christ


That is fucking shocking


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 10, 2022)

pseudonarcissus said:


> View attachment 341967



They must be stuffed, because I think her last corgi died years ago


----------



## bcuster (Sep 10, 2022)

So, the new ""Prince of Wales" has just been named. Does that mean that The HMS Prince of Wales is named for a title, not an actual person? Weird...


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 10, 2022)

From Facebook (of course!) More clouds!


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 10, 2022)

From the BBC article. First time I'd heard that! 😵


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 10, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> View attachment 341997
> 
> From the BBC article. First time I'd heard that! 😵


It was actually referenced in Drop The Drop Donkey back in the day.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 10, 2022)

I am starting to wish I had not started this thread. Some thing we are best not knowing about


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 10, 2022)

Marking a tradition stretching back to William and Mary a queue has formed outside Snappy Snaps…


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> From Facebook (of course!) More clouds!
> 
> View attachment 341988


What the fuck?


----------



## rekil (Sep 10, 2022)

Snowflake cunt.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 10, 2022)

rekil said:


> Snowflake cunt.
> 
> View attachment 342004



Also:


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

Waaaawaaaa

Waaaaa

It's only a joke like on Top Gear


----------



## T & P (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> I am starting to wish I had not started this thread. Some thing we are best not knowing about


----------



## LDC (Sep 10, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 342007



What goes on top, Queens or cheese?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 10, 2022)

I HAVE INFORMED THE HIVE

AWAITING INSTRUCTIONS

ALL GLORY TO THE HIVE


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

We had this?


----------



## weepiper (Sep 10, 2022)

I needed to order some stuff at work yesterday.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 10, 2022)

In my town the fruit and veg stall under the Pepperpot has got themselves a flagpole with a Union Flag on it, good effort but some points to be lost due to lack of half mastmanship…


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 10, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 342007


Queen of Beanz


----------



## weepiper (Sep 10, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> In my town the fruit and veg stall under the Pepperpot has got themselves a flagpole with a Union Flag on it, good effort but some points to be lost due to lack of half mastmanship…
> 
> View attachment 342013View attachment 342014


Full mast today because sausage fingers Charlie is officially being proclaimed king. Back to half mast tomorrow.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> In my town the fruit and veg stall under the Pepperpot has got themselves a flagpole with a Union Flag on it, good effort but some points to be lost due to lack of half mastmanship…
> 
> View attachment 342013View attachment 342014


Hacktually it's protocol to fly the flag at full mast today in honour of the new King ascending the throne. Back to half mast tomorrow. Whether this is by accident or design only the costermonger will know.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

What a silly world.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Full mast today because sausage fingers Charlie is officially being proclaimed king. Back to half mast tomorrow.


🤣🤣🤪


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 10, 2022)

weepiper said:


> Full mast today because sausage fingers Charlie is officially being proclaimed king. Back to half mast tomorrow.





Steel Icarus said:


> Hacktually it's protocol to fly the flag at full mast today in honour of the new King ascending the throne. Back to half mast tomorrow. Whether this is by accident or design only the costermonger will know.




I bow to your knowledge on royal protocol and shall update my files accordingly:

weepiper Steel Icarus - lickspittles.


----------



## clicker (Sep 10, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 342007


Queanz Meanz Beanz.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## dessiato (Sep 10, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> View attachment 342016


I am even less of a fan now than I was before.


----------



## danski (Sep 10, 2022)

Difficult to really see from the pic but I thought Bahnhof Strasse ’s issue was that the flag looked to be 90 degrees out: they’d fixed the long edge to the pole.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## weepiper (Sep 10, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I bow to your knowledge on royal protocol and shall update my files accordingly:
> 
> weepiper Steel Icarus - lickspittles.


Know Your Enemy.


----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 10, 2022)

Have we had this yet?


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I bow to your knowledge on royal protocol and shall update my files accordingly:
> 
> weepiper Steel Icarus - lickspittles.


Eh, I was told this morning. Mrs SI insists on trying to make me interested in this rigmarole in whichever way she can and having ascertained I don't like them as 'people' is going on about history happening in front of us. I'm just going along with it as it's easier.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

🤣🤣🤣


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

I've deactivated my FB account (for a week), after my wife's friend shared a photo of Phil with words 'Thanks everyone, I'll look after her now."

The world has actually gone mad.


(E2a, this does mean my entire social media interaction now consists of u75 and Twitter, which is worrying that both seem far more balanced and sane then literally everywhere else.)


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

< Places 'Reaction' counter on the post above under close obs >


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 10, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



"I have to go back because I have cats"  

Yeah 'cos cats trump the Queen!!


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Sue (Sep 10, 2022)

rekil said:


> Snowflake cunt.
> 
> View attachment 342004





Yossarian said:


> Also:
> 
> View attachment 342005


...says Jeremy Clarkson. On Twitter.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

Too much to take the piss out of 🧐


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

😵‍💫


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Edie (Sep 10, 2022)

Mrs Miggins said:


> View attachment 342028


That’s brilliant


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

Mrs Miggins said:


> View attachment 342028


That the nazi one on the left?


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 10, 2022)

moochedit said:


> That the nazi one?


Yes


----------



## two sheds (Sep 10, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


>





> Dutch Wikipedian @hayify  coined a name for the people who race to change the tense: "deaditors."


----------



## T & P (Sep 10, 2022)

Mrs Miggins said:


> View attachment 342028


If that was the choice of company I’d head straight for Margaret. If nothing else the woman could throw a good party, or so they said…


----------



## T & P (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## rubbershoes (Sep 10, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> "I have to go back because I have cats"
> 
> Yeah 'cos cats trump the Queen!!



I'd question whether their cats care about them more than the queen did.


----------



## Chz (Sep 10, 2022)

While I admit I was completely ripping off a tweet from earlier, it did at least make my postie laugh to say:
"I see the union has called off the strike because the Queen's dead. I wasn't even aware that was one of your demands."
(She was right annoyed as had all sorts of things planned for today)


----------



## rekil (Sep 10, 2022)

The whole biscuit world united in #grief.


----------



## RubyToogood (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## RubyToogood (Sep 10, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> I am starting to wish I had not started this thread. Some thing we are best not knowing about



In fairness, telling the bees when somebody dies is an ancient tradition. So traditional unhingedness rather than specifically royalist unhingedness.


----------



## RubyToogood (Sep 10, 2022)

And in fact I've now read the article and it's surprisingly good! 



> EXCLUSIVE: Royal beekeeper has informed the Queen's bees that the Queen has died and King Charles is their new boss in bizarre tradition dating back centuries
> By John Dingwall For Mailonline
> 08:48, 10 Sep 2022 , updated 09:32, 10 Sep 2022
> 
> ...


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 342049


Did they have the royal warrent?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 10, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 342049


#princeofpegging#


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Did they have the royal warrent?


Order of the Garter


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 10, 2022)

Read down the thread


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 10, 2022)

seriously how did he fall for that


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

😎


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 10, 2022)

Mrs Miggins said:


> View attachment 342028


ffs is that lawrence fox on the first left. What a cunt.


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 10, 2022)

Picture worth a thousand words


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

It's really bringing us all together 😎


----------



## ddraig (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## maomao (Sep 10, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 342007


That's fucking shocking.

£1.20 a can.


----------



## maomao (Sep 10, 2022)

DP


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

Chz said:


> "I see the union has called off the strike because the Queen's dead. I wasn't even aware that was one of your demands."


🤣


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 10, 2022)

moochedit said:


> That the nazi one on the left?





Steel Icarus said:


> Yes


Ironically, the only one not raising their arm.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 10, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> View attachment 342016


This surprises me not the least. They are basically a reactionary outfit whose singer is a tory voting clown. THey love flag waving and jingoism


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 10, 2022)

Serge Forward said:


> Have we had this yet?



See my above comment. Lydon is a twat anyway


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 10, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


>



* paging Kay Burley *


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 10, 2022)

I came across this because the first paragraph is being revived on Twitter, but the whole article is worth a read.









						Harry and Meghan: The union of two great houses, the Windsors and the Celebrities, is complete
					

After Harry and Meghan, the monarchy looks archaic and racist. Well duh




					www.irishtimes.com


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

That's how it works, Bill.


----------



## souljacker (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 10, 2022)

So, iron maiden, a kebab and poppers - decent night out.


----------



## rekil (Sep 10, 2022)

Tiny right wing 'funnyman' Geoff Norcott's not crying, you're crying.



Spoiler: paddingcuntington manbabies


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 10, 2022)

I hope we haven't had this yet...


----------



## 8ball (Sep 10, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


> I hope we haven't had this yet...




Technically flowers.
Nothing to see here.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 10, 2022)

8ball said:


> Technically flowers.
> Nothing to see here.


could have least taken the plastic off first, saving the planet and all that..


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 10, 2022)

this is much better....


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 10, 2022)

one of the replies was ' its what she would have wanted' to which shortly after came the reply (for those not in twitter)

'It's what prince Andrew would have ordered '

made me chuckle anyway


----------



## Indeliblelink (Sep 10, 2022)

This is what happens what you interview people who are passing by Buckingham Palace at 3AM.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

Might be parody, might not. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!!!


----------



## killer b (Sep 10, 2022)

you do know


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

Did anyone have 'Ray Parlour making drinks'?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

killer b said:


> you do know


Yeah, probably.


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 10, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> View attachment 342125
> Might be parody, might not. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!!!


Of course it's a parody. The author has written a coherent English sentence.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

liquidindian said:


>



The other side of the coin:


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Sep 10, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


>



Oh wow; that's actually real?


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 10, 2022)

This Paddington bear shit is really getting to me. People getting emotional over a social media manager tweeting from the account named after a pretend talking teddy bear.


----------



## Weller (Sep 10, 2022)

> Girl, 10, takes 'mind blowing' photo of Queen in the clouds over Staffordshire​


Girl, 10, takes 'mind blowing' photo of Queen in the clouds over Staffordshire



She must be furious to end up there of all places


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 10, 2022)

I'm going to need to see her likeness appear on a tortilla chip, some burned toast and a dogs anus. Jesus manages all of those


----------



## clicker (Sep 10, 2022)

Weller said:


> Girl, 10, takes 'mind blowing' photo of Queen in the clouds over Staffordshire
> 
> View attachment 342134


I saw her this afternoon...


Then I saw a dolphin.


----------



## Weller (Sep 10, 2022)

clicker said:


> I saw her this afternoon...
> View attachment 342136
> 
> Then I saw a dolphin.
> View attachment 342137



I see The Queen RIDING the dolphin


----------



## clicker (Sep 10, 2022)

Weller said:


> I see The Queen RIDING the dolphin


You is the chosen one.


----------



## Weller (Sep 10, 2022)

clicker said:


> You is the chosen one.


Shes riding a swan in the top one


----------



## flypanam (Sep 10, 2022)

Mrs Miggins said:


> View attachment 342028


Fuck sake, Mountbatten’s hand or leg or ear or finger should be in that photo.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 10, 2022)

Weller said:


> Shes riding a swan in the top one



In the Lyda style?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 10, 2022)

Weller said:


> Girl, 10, takes 'mind blowing' photo of Queen in the clouds over Staffordshire
> 
> View attachment 342134
> 
> She must be furious to end up there of all places


Is that....IAN BEALE?!


----------



## weltweit (Sep 10, 2022)

Immediate action seems to have won the day for Charles III.. 

Me I mourned and waited for the call. "Weltweit I" had a nice ring to it I thought but the call never came, just a prat asking me whether they could advise me on my energy bills. The call never came and in the meantime Charles III announced himself and won the day   

Grumpy ..


----------



## Weller (Sep 10, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> In the Lyda style?


this style.... top left ..... cloud watching for deceased monarchs  is an acquired skill skill


----------



## editor (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Epona (Sep 10, 2022)

clicker said:


> I saw her this afternoon...
> View attachment 342136



Sorry but that is clearly Alfred Hitchcock.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 10, 2022)

Epona said:


> Sorry but that is clearly Alfred Hitchcock.
> 
> View attachment 342148




Mate that's Tetsuo


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 10, 2022)

Epona said:


> Sorry but that is clearly Alfred Hitchcock.
> 
> View attachment 342148


----------



## killer b (Sep 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 342152


I'd recognise those sausage fingers anywhere...


----------



## RubyToogood (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)

killer b said:


> I'd recognise those sausage fingers anywhere...


Lifeless fingers, cold fingers, like a doll's fingers


----------



## Cid (Sep 10, 2022)

It's ninja turtle (facing away, mourning the queen) or stay puft.


----------



## MrSki (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Epona (Sep 10, 2022)

Cid said:


> It's ninja turtle (facing away, mourning the queen) or stay puft.



Every cloud looks like stay puft.  It is a feature of clouds 😡


----------



## Weller (Sep 10, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 342152



Thats the thing with cloud watching for the monarchy the more you   see , then the more you see  its clearly Ghislaine Maxwell watching him too


----------



## Epona (Sep 10, 2022)

Weller said:


> Thats the thing with cloud watching the more you  , see the more you see  its clearly Ghislaine Maxwell watching him too
> 
> View attachment 342153



Oh mate my dinner is going to be ready soon, I have to eat 🤮


----------



## donkyboy (Sep 10, 2022)

MrSki said:


>



y didn't she just use the saddle? thats why its there


----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 10, 2022)

My local paper 🤡


----------



## weepiper (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Epona (Sep 10, 2022)

donkyboy said:


> y didn't she just use the saddle? thats why its there



Sorry but no it isn't!


----------



## Epona (Sep 10, 2022)

weepiper said:


> View attachment 342161



I had to use a scab till in Asda today because the ladies loos in the shopping centre were out of commission (actually locked at the main door), there were massive queues for the staffed tills, and I really needed to get back on the bus FUCKING ASAP LEST I PISS MESSELF BEFORE I GET HOME - and the scanner still beeped...

I'm actually calling BS on this story, there isn't as far as I know a button to turn off the beeps, it's built in.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 10, 2022)

I chuckled.


----------



## Lurdan (Sep 10, 2022)

The sad news just keeps coming.







Twitter link


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 10, 2022)

Epona said:


> I had to use a scab till in Asda today because the ladies loos in the shopping centre were out of commission (actually locked at the main door), there were massive queues for the staffed tills, and I really needed to get back on the bus FUCKING ASAP LEST I PISS MESSELF BEFORE I GET HOME - and the scanner still beeped...
> 
> I'm actually calling BS on this story, there isn't as far as I know a button to turn off the beeps, it's built in.


In Sainsbury's there's a volume button/mute. I was scanning and putting things through , but I was hearing the person nexts to me beep ( couple of weeks ago) lady came and said someone's turned it down and turned it up without her log in. Not sure about asdas .


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 10, 2022)




----------



## Epona (Sep 10, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> In Sainsbury's there's a volume button/mute. I was scanning and putting things through , but I was hearing the person nexts to me beep ( couple of weeks ago) lady came and said someone's turned it down and turned it up without her log in. Not sure about asdas .



Well that's a bit shitty, I like a loud beep due to my auditory issues - it's a clear "this item has been scanned" indicator without needing to read the screen (and usually by that point in a supermarket I am about to fizz over in terms of not dealing well with stuff!)


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 10, 2022)

Epona said:


> Well that's a bit shitty, I like a loud beep due to my auditory issues - it's a clear "this item has been scanned" indicator without needing to read the screen (and usually by that point in a supermarket I am about to fizz over in terms of not dealing well with stuff!)


Yeh, I normally look at the red/ green light. Didn't realise how much notice I took of the beep.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 11, 2022)

If in doubt: it scanned.

Alarms permitting..


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## magneze (Sep 11, 2022)

8ball said:


> If in doubt: it scanned.
> 
> Alarms permitting..


Presumably the much louder alarms have also been silenced .. 🤨


----------



## moonsi til (Sep 11, 2022)

Pinched from FB


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 11, 2022)

Somewhere in London


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

Has everyone just fallen on their fucking heads or something


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 11, 2022)

Some great replies


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 11, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Sad, but what else could he do, poor lad?



Fuck it, just realised I should have worked "a great loss" into that 

Ah well...


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## May Kasahara (Sep 11, 2022)

Got to respect the penmanship, though.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 11, 2022)

Prince Andrew got a quick grope of his daughter arse in


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 11, 2022)

Sound up.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 11, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



Wtf is happening with his belly button tho


----------



## TopCat (Sep 11, 2022)

Indeliblelink said:


> This is what happens what you interview people who are passing by Buckingham Palace at 3AM.



That is very good.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Wtf is happening with his belly button tho


Nanobots


----------



## story (Sep 11, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Wtf is happening with his belly button tho




Umbilical hernia, I reckon





Although... gives it a minute and someone will be along to say I’m talking bullshit


----------



## Dr. Furface (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## MickiQ (Sep 11, 2022)

TopCat said:


> That is very good.


She does know Princess Leia is not a real person right?


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## tommers (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## 8ball (Sep 11, 2022)

I think when I first saw this thread I thought it was for _our_ unhinged opinions on the Queen's death.


----------



## [62] (Sep 11, 2022)

All these people seeing the queen in the clouds has reminded me that after Michael Fish died I saw his face in a pint of beer.


----------



## Kev424242 (Sep 11, 2022)

Frankie Dettori just won a big race at the St Leger meeting. Interviewed immediately afterwards, he said he wouldn't perform his famous "flying dismount", out of respect etc. He didn't. Crowd not overly happy.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 11, 2022)

I’m going to do a big poo shortly, out of respect.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 11, 2022)

You’ll enjoy this too, courtesy of Dublin’s Shamrock Rovers Ultras


----------



## editor (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## Combustible (Sep 11, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> She does know Princess Leia is not a real person right?


I'm sure the queen wasn't exactly keen on insurgent leaders fighting against empires.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 11, 2022)

TopCat said:


> I’m going to do a big poo shortly, out of respect.


Will it be shaped like the queen?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 11, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> She does know Princess Leia is not a real person right?


Yes she is!   I refuse to listen to your lies!   * sticks fingers in ears *


----------



## weepiper (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## pogofish (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## dessiato (Sep 11, 2022)

Many of the things that are being cancelled or closed for mourning don't seem to make sense. A cycle rack? Wimbledon Common? etc etc


----------



## flypanam (Sep 11, 2022)

The Queen’s Park Fayre was on today, the MC asked for a cheer for King Charles, silence followed. Maybe people haven’t lost it yet.


----------



## cesare (Sep 11, 2022)

TopCat said:


> I’m going to do a big poo shortly, out of respect.


It'll be nothing compared to Epona poo post. #gauntlet


----------



## Epona (Sep 11, 2022)

cesare said:


> It'll be nothing compared to Epona poo post. #gauntlet



I am sure TopCat is up to the challenge


----------



## cesare (Sep 11, 2022)

Epona said:


> I am sure TopCat is up to the challenge


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 11, 2022)

flypanam said:


> The Queen’s Park Fayre was on today, the MC asked for a cheer for King Charles, silence followed. Maybe people haven’t lost it yet.



Perhaps without the royals it would have been called the Ecclesiastical Commissioners' Park, so maybe they should have cheered.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 11, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



They've clearly got too much spare time on there hands/nothing better to do and more money than sense.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 11, 2022)

Serge Forward said:


> Have we had this yet?



Not at all surprised.


----------



## Epona (Sep 11, 2022)

Overheard a convo between 2 women at the bus stop today here in the East End of London.
"Yeah but you can't blame her for that, I mean you'd support your son, wouldn't you?"
"Not if he was a bloody paedophile I woudn't"


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 11, 2022)

weepiper said:


>



What the actual fuck


----------



## TopCat (Sep 11, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> What the actual fuck


Closed cos respect.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## gosub (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 11, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> What the actual fuck


I would say that the country had lost its marbles, but it was never particularly sane anyway was it.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 11, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> What the actual fuck


‘Cyclists fuck off!’

At last some sanity from this whole silly affair.


----------



## Epona (Sep 11, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> I would say that the country had lost its marbles, but it was never particularly sane anyway was it.



It honestly doesn't seem to me (from conversations I've had with people, or people I've seen out and about doing normal stuff) that the population as a whole has lost its marbles at all.

Feels more like the powers that be and the media are imposing this public mourning on us, and most people really don't give a shit (or at most have some vague feelings of sympathy on the basis that her family will be sad, like they were sad when their own mum/gran died etc.).  Or round here at least, it seems out of step with most people's concerns which are more likely to be whether they will need to use a food bank this week.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 11, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> View attachment 342214
> 
> Somewhere in London


Lewisham; fantastic.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 11, 2022)

We've had this before but I really thought it was a spoof 



But it's on the Mail site 

"The stunning picture, taken by Becky Luetchford, of the Queen's profile in glowing clouds was taken hours after the Queen passed away"









						Glowing clouds in the shape of the Queen's profile form in the sky
					

Brits have shared 'poignant' pictures of cloud formations which appear to resemble the Queen's silhouette, all taken shortly after her death yesterday as rainbows appeared over Buckingham Palace.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 11, 2022)

two sheds said:


> We've had this before but I really thought it was a spoof
> 
> View attachment 342306
> 
> ...


----------



## two sheds (Sep 11, 2022)

THAT'S HER IT'S A SIGN!!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 11, 2022)

Just been past Edward's gaff and there's around 30 bunches of flowers laid against the wall next to the gate. Who on earth does that? If they are that much of a mentalist Windsor is only 5 miles away ffs. There's also Old Bill guarding the gate, never normally there, which was a shame as I was heading to my aunt's birthday and could have done with a bunch of flowers for her, had buy an orchid from M&S instead.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 11, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Just been past Edward's gaff and there's around 30 bunches of flowers laid against the wall next to the gate. Who on earth does that? If they are that much of a mentalist Windsor is only 5 miles away ffs. There's also Old Bill guarding the gate, never normally there, which was a shame as I was heading to my aunt's birthday and could have done with a bunch of flowers for her, had buy an orchid from M&S instead.


Could always trying Woottoning it


----------



## brogdale (Sep 11, 2022)

two sheds said:


> We've had this before but I really thought it was a spoof
> 
> View attachment 342306
> 
> ...


_What's that, Sooty?_


----------



## MrSki (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## MrSki (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## not a trot (Sep 11, 2022)

AmateurAgitator said:


> I would say that the country had lost its marbles, but it was never particularly sane anyway was it.



I can remember a Monty Python sketch, where in the background a banner asked, 'Is the Queen sane'.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 11, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Just been past Edward's gaff and there's around 30 bunches of flowers laid against the wall next to the gate. Who on earth does that? If they are that much of a mentalist Windsor is only 5 miles away ffs. There's also Old Bill guarding the gate, never normally there, which was a shame as I was heading to my aunt's birthday and could have done with a bunch of flowers for her, had buy an orchid from M&S instead.



Noticed that this morning on our way to Longacres garden centre.


----------



## Uncle Fester (Sep 11, 2022)

8ball said:


> I think there’s quite a lot of change in the last 10 years.  I read somewhere that a lot of white non-British have left in the last couple of years (gone back to Europe etc.).
> 
> I lost a lot of work colleagues to Italy, Germany, Ukraine and Spain not that long after Brexit.
> 
> ...


Yep, same here - been mostly alone in the office for over 2 years!


----------



## two sheds (Sep 11, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Just been past Edward's gaff and there's around 30 bunches of flowers laid against the wall next to the gate. Who on earth does that? If they are that much of a mentalist Windsor is only 5 miles away ffs. There's also Old Bill guarding the gate, never normally there, which was a shame as I was heading to my aunt's birthday and could have done with a bunch of flowers for her, had buy an orchid from M&S instead.


If you'd been caught you'd have been the front-page Mail story for a week


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 11, 2022)

Hahaha.


----------



## Epona (Sep 11, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Hahaha.




Fucking brilliant


----------



## brogdale (Sep 11, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Hahaha.



Greg finds the tweet:


----------



## Uncle Fester (Sep 11, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> See my above comment. Lydon is a twat anyway


Jesus...  You're not wrong...


----------



## MrSki (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 11, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Noticed that this morning on our way to Longacres garden centre.




Worst thing was my step-mum showed up with the same M&S orchid, same colour and everything, and my aunt already had a purple orchid by her fireplace, now she has three of the buggers. Edie could have spared a bunch, bald prick's not even there, so why the filth?


----------



## MrSki (Sep 11, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Hahaha.


----------



## Uncle Fester (Sep 11, 2022)

Aplologies if this has been posted before - this is bound to upset some people, sorry, but there you are:

Z1lqp8uaBIyy2jwXhABQXe_bIvD6VOO_eMVEoDHGsqp0&is_from_webapp=v1&item_id=7141131791565409563
Elizardbeth


----------



## Epona (Sep 11, 2022)

MrSki said:


>



Very skilful, but I have to say the one on the right looks more like Sylvester McCoy in his Doctor Who years...


----------



## 8ball (Sep 11, 2022)

Uncle Fester said:


> Yep, same here - been mostly alone in the office for over 2 years!



Same here, but it’s largely a pandemic thing.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 11, 2022)

That's what they need for the funeral procession a good old New Orleans funeral band


----------



## Epona (Sep 11, 2022)

quiet guy said:


> That's what they need for the funeral procession a good old New Orleans funeral band



I'd probably actually show up for that, just for the music mind.


----------



## 8ball (Sep 11, 2022)

Looking at thread title, it occurs to me that Queen Death would be quite a good name for a band.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 11, 2022)

MrSki said:


>



Had me for a second, the audio is playing back normally, not reversed.

PS Dan is a twat


----------



## donkyboy (Sep 11, 2022)

MrSki said:


>



I see someone poking a finger in her eye on the right?


----------



## Gromit (Sep 11, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Had me for a second, the audio is playing back normally, not reversed.
> 
> PS Dan is a twat


It's not reversed because apparently it's him picking his flowers up to do multiple takes of his quiet reflection.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 11, 2022)

Hey, there's a 're' in 'reflection' for a reason.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 11, 2022)

Gromit said:


> It's not reversed because apparently it's him picking his flowers up to do multiple takes of his quiet reflection.


oh dear


----------



## sleaterkinney (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 11, 2022)




----------



## AnandLeo (Sep 11, 2022)

The queen appeared frail for the past few years. However, she had self-confidence to indomitably enthusiastic to take part in royal engagements even though subject to medical advice to attend meetings in person or online. On few occasions doctors stopped the queen attending events on the grounds of her poor health where as she felt otherwise. She had a mobility problem and used a walking stick that restricted her movements. Apart from that, she was busy engaging in her royal duties mostly at her residence up to the day of her death, which is dignifying and gratifying for a woman 96 years of age. Her last appointment was the change of the prime minister of the United Kingdom just two days earlier. The doctors in their judgement of her health cancelled a virtual meeting with the privy councillors and senior ministers scheduled for the day her health deteriorated. It is a blessing to pass away being a working mother, grandmother, and great grandmother at 96 rather than being infirm.

Deepest sympathies and sincere condolences to the royal family of the United Kingdom at this time of sorrow. May you Rest in Peace Your Majesty. You are a legend.


----------



## bcuster (Sep 11, 2022)

Mrs Miggins said:


> View attachment 342028


Where's diana?


----------



## petee (Sep 11, 2022)

sleaterkinney said:


>




3:18 am?
late.


----------



## killer b (Sep 11, 2022)

AnandLeo said:


> The queen was frail for the past few years. However, she had self-confidence to indomitably enthusiastic to take part in royal engagements even though subject to medical advice to attend meetings in person or online. On few occasions doctors stopped the queen attending events on the grounds of her poor health where as she felt otherwise. She had a mobility problem and used a walking stick that restricted her movements. Apart from that, she was busy engaging in her royal duties mostly at her residence up to the day of her death, which is dignifying and gratifying for a woman 96 years of age. Her last appointment was the change of the prime minister of the United Kingdom just two days earlier. The doctors in their judgement of her health cancelled a virtual meeting with the privy councillors and senior ministers scheduled for the day her health deteriorated. It is a blessing to pass away being a working mother, grandmother, and great grandmother at 96 rather than being infirm.
> 
> Deepest sympathies and sincere condolences to the royal family of the United Kingdom at this time of sorrow. May you Rest in Peace Your Majesty. You are a legend.


I think you've completely misunderstood the purpose of this thread, but have somehow still posted something that fits perfectly. bravo.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 11, 2022)

killer b said:


> I think you've completely misunderstood the purpose of this thread, but have somehow still posted something that fits perfectly. bravo.


I wasn't sure whether it was a parody or not. From Liverpool as well ! 
According to my mate it's party central there atm.


----------



## Ming (Sep 11, 2022)

8ball said:


> Looking at thread title, it occurs to me that Queen Death would be quite a good name for a band.


I’m always on the look out for new band names (still after rock and stardom at 54…well John Lee Hooker didn’t win a Grammy until he was until his 70’s). 

My best two unused band names are…

Best used Punk band Name. StrangleWank (deliberate big W). Also umlauts over the consonants only. Fans called wankers.

Best unused general band name. The Fridge Magnets. Could be used for any type of music generally. First album name : Magnetised.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 11, 2022)

It's so nuts at the moment I could actually believe it.


----------



## killer b (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## 8ball (Sep 12, 2022)

Ming said:


> Best unused general band name. The Fridge Magnets. Could be used for any type of music generally. First album name : Magnetised.



Fridge Magnets also have a deleterious effect on hard drives.  Which could inspire a song or two.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 12, 2022)

8ball said:


> Fridge Magnets also have a deleterious effect on hard drives. Which could inspire a song or two.



i once had a bloody big fridge magnet, and the magnet bit fell off.

so i stuck it with blue tack to the side of my work computer.

i can't remember exactly what the IT bloke said when he saw it, but it wasn't very polite


----------



## two sheds (Sep 12, 2022)

donkyboy said:


> I see someone poking a finger in her eye on the right?


Looks like a gerbil to me.


----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 12, 2022)

AnandLeo said:


> The queen was frail for the past few years. However, she had self-confidence to indomitably enthusiastic to take part in royal engagements even though subject to medical advice to attend meetings in person or online. On few occasions doctors stopped the queen attending events on the grounds of her poor health where as she felt otherwise. She had a mobility problem and used a walking stick that restricted her movements. Apart from that, she was busy engaging in her royal duties mostly at her residence up to the day of her death, which is dignifying and gratifying for a woman 96 years of age. Her last appointment was the change of the prime minister of the United Kingdom just two days earlier. The doctors in their judgement of her health cancelled a virtual meeting with the privy councillors and senior ministers scheduled for the day her health deteriorated. It is a blessing to pass away being a working mother, grandmother, and great grandmother at 96 rather than being infirm.
> 
> Deepest sympathies and sincere condolences to the royal family of the United Kingdom at this time of sorrow. May you Rest in Peace Your Majesty. You are a legend.


Oh do shut up, you twat.


----------



## Ming (Sep 12, 2022)

8ball said:


> Fridge Magnets also have a deleterious effect on hard drives.  Which could inspire a song or two.


I used to roadie for a band called The Surfing Brides who had a really shit manager called JAmes something. I mentioned i was considering Fridgemagnets as the band name for my band and he said ‘well marketing is easy’. 

Fridgemagnets.


----------



## AnandLeo (Sep 12, 2022)

killer b said:


> I think you've completely misunderstood the purpose of this thread, but have somehow still posted something that fits perfectly. bravo.


I could not find a condolences thread on the Urban.


----------



## CyberRose (Sep 12, 2022)

Say what you want about the Queen, but she just helped me move up nearly 25 thousand places in the fantasy football as a final gift


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

The kids know the score


----------



## A380 (Sep 12, 2022)

I am depressed by the the lack of theological knowledge shown my much of the British public talking about the Queen being with Phillip and looking down on us from Heaven.

Basic Christian doctrine says that no-one except Saints get into heaven until the resurrection after the Day of Judgement (that's kind of the point of the day). Until then you lay in your grave dead till the trumpet sounds. Given she was head of the CoE, which as pointed out up thread, doesn't make saints she isn't in the Celestial City just yet.

Come on British maudlin people, get it right. This isn't rocket science!


----------



## LDC (Sep 12, 2022)

A380 said:


> I depressed by the the lack of theological knowledge shown my much of the British public talking about the Queen being with Phillip and looking sown on us from Heaven.
> 
> Basic Christian doctrine says that no-one except Saints get into heaven until the resurrection after the Day of Judgement (thats kind of the point of the day). Until then you lay in your grave dead till the trumpet sounds. Given she was head of the CoE, which as pointed out up thread, doesn't make saints she isn't in the Celestial City just yet.
> 
> Come on British maudlin people, get it right. This isn't rocket science!



Where's Paddington Bear until the day of judgement through?


----------



## A380 (Sep 12, 2022)

LDC said:


> Where's Paddington Bear until the day of judgement through?


Dead and gone to dust. Animals don't have souls in either the RC or Anglican faiths. Obvs.


----------



## rekil (Sep 12, 2022)

LDC said:


> Where's Paddington Bear until the day of judgement through?



Paddington is clearly the beast that the muslims refer to in their list of judgment day signs.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

also mentioned in the Bible


And I looked, and behold, a pale horse! And its rider’s name was Paddington, and Hades followed him


----------



## LDC (Sep 12, 2022)

A380 said:


> Dead and gone to dust. Animals don't have souls in either the RC or Anglican faiths. Obvs.



He talked though, surely some special not animal kind of thing? The Queen's familiar maybe?


----------



## killer b (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Spymaster (Sep 12, 2022)

Marmalade sandwiches being left outside Buckingham Palace. 

What the _FUCK_ is wrong with people? 🤬


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

aye should be little princess Lia Lego dolls

have some decorum you mawkish bastards


----------



## moochedit (Sep 12, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> Marmalade sandwiches being left outside Buckingham Palace.
> 
> What the _FUCK_ is wrong with people? 🤬


Where did the paddington thing start from anyway?  Was it an intended piss take that people took seriously? (Bit like that phil and diana thing last year)


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

Sheathless for a dead queen 🤣


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

cannot even have a posh grief wank


----------



## moochedit (Sep 12, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> cannot even have a posh grief wank


Cling film it is then


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Where did the paddington thing start from anyway?  Was it an intended piss take that people took seriously? (Bit like that phil and diana thing last year)




She did some cg tea with Paddington skit for the jubilee


----------



## killer b (Sep 12, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Sheathless for a dead queen 🤣



_fairly_ sure this is a pisstake tbf


----------



## moochedit (Sep 12, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> She did some cg tea with Paddington skit for the jubilee


Ok. I must have missed that one.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Ok. I must have missed that one.




You missed nothing but some centrists and rigthits saying how marvellous and some leftists saying “meanwhile Priti is sending real Peruvian migrants to Rwanda”

It’s all so tiring.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

killer b said:


> _fairly_ sure this is a pisstake tbf


No shit! I think someone going to the trouble of shopping the notice and putting it into the clip frame over the top of the turd-scraping rota deserves kudos for their service though - bringing joy to a nation nursing a broken heart 👍


----------



## clicker (Sep 12, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> Marmalade sandwiches being left outside Buckingham Palace.
> 
> What the _FUCK_ is wrong with people? 🤬


(((Rats))).


----------



## johnwesley (Sep 12, 2022)

AnandLeo said:


> The queen appeared frail for the past few years. However, she had self-confidence to indomitably enthusiastic to take part in royal engagements even though subject to medical advice to attend meetings in person or online. On few occasions doctors stopped the queen attending events on the grounds of her poor health where as she felt otherwise. She had a mobility problem and used a walking stick that restricted her movements. Apart from that, she was busy engaging in her royal duties mostly at her residence up to the day of her death, which is dignifying and gratifying for a woman 96 years of age. Her last appointment was the change of the prime minister of the United Kingdom just two days earlier. The doctors in their judgement of her health cancelled a virtual meeting with the privy councillors and senior ministers scheduled for the day her health deteriorated. It is a blessing to pass away being a working mother, grandmother, and great grandmother at 96 rather than being infirm.
> 
> Deepest sympathies and sincere condolences to the royal family of the United Kingdom at this time of sorrow. May you Rest in Peace Your Majesty. You are a legend.


Great Joe Lycett takedown. Respect.


----------



## rekil (Sep 12, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Sheathless for a dead queen 🤣




It'd be nice if plausible pisstake prohibition notices popped up everywhere. #activism


----------



## Indeliblelink (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## not a trot (Sep 12, 2022)

moochedit said:


> Cling film it is then



Does that really work ? Asking for a friend.


----------



## tonysingh (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Spymaster (Sep 12, 2022)

Indeliblelink said:


>




 This is so true.

I once mentioned, in passing, to a friend’s parents that my favourite painting was The Laughing Cavalier. Over the next few years I got several postcards, a calendar, and a fridge magnet, all featuring the jolly gent!

Absolutely not a complaint. They’re lovely people and I’m well chuffed that they think of me at all. Just a bit left-field after an extremely casual remark.


----------



## LDC (Sep 12, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> This is so true.
> 
> I once mentioned, in passing, to a friend’s parents that my favourite painting was The Laughing Cavalier. Over the next few years I got several postcards, a calendar, and a fridge magnet, all featuring the jolly gent!
> 
> Absolutely not a complaint. They’re lovely people and I’m well chuffed that they think of me at all. Just a bit left-field.



My mum mentioned to an elderly relative that lived in Devon she loved clotted cream once. Every single birthday she got some through the post. Ever single year it was broken or off. My mum was far too stupid/polite to ever tell her. This went on for about thirty years until the relative died.


----------



## A380 (Sep 12, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Does that really work ? Asking for a friend.


Don’t try it with foil though…


----------



## polly (Sep 12, 2022)

🤣


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 12, 2022)

Any good lip readers here?


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 12, 2022)

Nintendo have nailed it!


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 12, 2022)

tonysingh said:


> View attachment 342407


Oh for fuck's sake that's even more fucking stupid than the people seeing her in the clouds and that was awesome in its stupidity.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 12, 2022)

The nonce is getting some heat


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## steveseagull (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Cloo (Sep 12, 2022)

Some good news:


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

skyscraper101 said:


> Any good lip readers here?




something about Andrew ya sick old man
^ video about innit 


hits refresh more often


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>




kids got a point Andrew is trying to use this to white wash his image

shame the mood seems to be time and a place, hmm if it was any other sex offender


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 12, 2022)

Time and place to call someone a sweaty nonce and tbf a funeral is fine, usually requires a few more pints though


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



He says (whilst handcuffed and guarded by a pair of cops):



> Powerful men shouldn't be able to commit sexual crimes and get away with it.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> kids got a point Andrew is trying to use this to white wash his image
> 
> shame the mood seems to be time and a place, hmm if it was any other sex offender


#notallnonces


----------



## TopCat (Sep 12, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> Marmalade sandwiches being left outside Buckingham Palace.
> 
> What the _FUCK_ is wrong with people? 🤬


That will produce interesting results. St. James Park is infested with rats as can be seen clearly after dark. They will enjoy burrowing in the bouquets with tasty marmalade sarnies interspersed.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 12, 2022)

I think it's disrespectful to the queen's memory to ban people from leaving the presents they want to leave. If they want to leave Paddingtons and marmalade sandwiches that's what they should be allowed to leave.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

TopCat said:


> That will produce interesting results. St. James Park is infested with rats as can be seen clearly after dark. They will enjoy burrowing in the bouquets with tasty marmalade sarnies interspersed.


Be careful getting home on the Tube y'all 😱



Spoiler: I SAID BE CAREFUL, DAMMIT!


----------



## pogofish (Sep 12, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Sheathless for a dead queen 🤣




Some of my students were handing-out King Size condoms at an event today.  Does that make them trators..?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

stuff weird atm

was at work today and someone brought up the chants from the irish football over the weekend

had to point out that the queens not hated in Ireland and would you ever expect football chant to be respectable  in normal situation

"Ireland not in the 1970's just like over here a lot of football fans are cunts"

mind boggles when the tommy tommy Robinson chat barely get a eyebrow raised

even guy defending beating up the rory lad by going on about Celtic pedos

da fuck


----------



## A380 (Sep 12, 2022)

Cloo said:


> Some good news:




Elizabeth Aaarrrrrrr


----------



## Shellee (Sep 12, 2022)

I am genuinely terrified, creepy as fuck


----------



## 8ball (Sep 12, 2022)

Shellee said:


> I am genuinely terrified, creepy as fuck
> 
> View attachment 342443



That’s really one of the more normal things I’ve seen.  They do that for Poppy Day every year.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

sure old biddies have a stock from the jubilee

they could be doing this for years 

maybe a official warning like not putting marmalade sandwich's out for the queen reindeer


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## steveseagull (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>




fuck off where


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> The nonce is getting some heat



Brave fella


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 12, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> fuck off where



if anyone know let me know

not going to do anything to it just might the lay some flowers to the remembrance to the death of paul whitehouse


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 12, 2022)

Wonderful. An utter classic.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Wonderful. An utter classic.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



Jamiroquai's let himself go.


----------



## A380 (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



Ken Livingston’s let himself go a bit.


----------



## Sue (Sep 12, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Jamiroquai's let himself go.


Being banged up after the Capitol thing won't have helped.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

Bit slow on the slavish obeisance, guess we just have to give Nick the benefit of the doubt and assume he cry-wanked himself dry over The Weekend of Salty Marmalade Tears 🤔


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

If the BBC broadcast an episode of the Royal Family on the 19th, will Nadine Dorries come back to haunt them?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

If I remember it right, don't Paddington's 'family' have a domestic/servant?  Just the kind of silly upper middle class cunts who are out there griefwanking the funeral procession.  Signing the book of condolence and Wimbledon are the only time they've had to queue for anything in their lives.


----------



## Pingety Pong (Sep 12, 2022)

Morrisons are going to turn down the checkout beeps on Monday. Very laudable.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 12, 2022)

No beeps please, we're British.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> No beeps please, we're British.


A shoplifter's royal charter


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

A work in progress

Stop all the clocks  cut off the telephone MORRISON'S BEEPS
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come (BUT PARK THEIR OWN BIKES IN NORWICH)

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong (BUT NO SHEATHS IN WETHERSPOONS)

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.


----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 12, 2022)

Wilf said:


> If I remember it right, don't Paddington's 'family' have a domestic/servant?  Just the kind of silly upper middle class cunts who are out there griefwanking the funeral procession.  Signing the book of condolence and Wimbledon are the only time they've had to queue for anything in their lives.


And surely all this Paddington shite is a bit tactless given that a bear was slaughtered for each and every bearskin hat worn by the queen's guards.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 12, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Wonderful. An utter classic.



Muammar Gaddafi?


----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 12, 2022)

I thought it was Alex Ferguson.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Lurdan (Sep 12, 2022)

I was thinking Les Dennis had got an early panto gig.


----------



## gosub (Sep 12, 2022)

Serge Forward said:


> And surely all this Paddington shite is a bit tactless given that a bear was slaughtered for each and every bearskin hat worn by the queen's guards.


Bearskin's are made from American black bears, Paddington is a spectacled bear. 


 What next ?All bears look the same to you?  Bearist!


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

Serge Forward said:


> I thought it was Alex Ferguson.


Though, ironically, someone who has been subject to an extreme 'hairdryer.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 12, 2022)

Pingety Pong said:


> Morrisons are going to turn down the checkout beeps on Monday. Very laudable.
> 
> View attachment 342461


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the tannoys and with muffled checkout beeps.
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 12, 2022)

I see Nonce is trending on Twitter. Royalists falling over themselves to condemn the lad who shouted at Nonce Andrew...because where were all the lefties when the muslim paedo trials were happening!!??

Also I never knew this was what it stood for...


----------



## 8ball (Sep 12, 2022)

Shellee said:


> I am genuinely terrified, creepy as fuck
> 
> View attachment 342443



I take your numbers and raise you … CORGIES!!!


----------



## Shellee (Sep 12, 2022)

8ball said:


> I take your numbers and raise you … CORGIES!!!
> 
> View attachment 342471


Well, I’m not leaving my flat until they’ve gone away


----------



## Fozzie Bear (Sep 12, 2022)

went to check out Green Park yesterday which was rammed. Couldn’t get near Buck House. Thought this card was an odd choice.


----------



## Fozzie Bear (Sep 12, 2022)

View attachment FullSizeRender.MOV


----------



## Sue (Sep 12, 2022)

Fozzie Bear said:


> View attachment 342472
> *went to check out Green Park* yesterday which was rammed. *Couldn’t get near Buck House*. Thought this card was an odd choice.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

Fozzie Bear said:


> View attachment 342473


Come friendly bombs and fall on...


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

Never mind razor blades behind stickers, what about barbed wire in bouquets?! 😱😱😱


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 12, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> View attachment 342470


I set a DotCommunist trap, and by Jove it worked! 🤣


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 12, 2022)

Careful if you're carrying any blank paper around


----------



## rubbershoes (Sep 12, 2022)

Wilf said:


> If I remember it right, don't Paddington's 'family' have a domestic/servant?



iirc it was Granny


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 12, 2022)

rubbershoes said:


> iirc it was Granny



Mrs Bird


----------



## Wilf (Sep 12, 2022)

rubbershoes said:


> iirc it was Granny


'Live in housekeeper and distant relative' apparently.









						Mrs. Bird
					

Mrs. Bird is the Brown's live-in housekeeper and distant relative. In the Paddington films, she is portrayed by Julie Walters. Mrs. Bird is an elder, sweet and gentle woman. However, she gets easily angered if anyone insults her. Her husband was in the Navy, so she likes everything neat, clean...




					paddingtonbear.fandom.com


----------



## Fozzie Bear (Sep 12, 2022)

Sue said:


>


For purely anthropological / exercise regime reasons, Sue !


----------



## Sue (Sep 12, 2022)

Fozzie Bear said:


> For purely anthropological / exercise regime reasons, Sue !


'Research' eh...?


----------



## pogofish (Sep 12, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Hahaha.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 12, 2022)

Bloke outs himself as a potential nonce for the cause


----------



## two sheds (Sep 12, 2022)

They're happy with fascists harassing and threatening innocent people and accusing them of being paedophiles, They're happy with anti-vaxxers harassing and threatening NHS staff and accusing them of being murderers.


----------



## donkyboy (Sep 12, 2022)




----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> Bloke outs himself as a potential nonce for the cause



His timeline is fucking awful. Tory fucking nonce.


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 12, 2022)

steveseagull said:


> The nonce is getting some heat



The police should have arrested the obsequious idiots who assaulted him.


----------



## petee (Sep 13, 2022)

A380 said:


> Dead and gone to dust. Animals don't have souls in either the RC or Anglican faiths. Obvs.



er ...









						Pope Francis: Dogs Can Go to Heaven
					

The Pontiff says all of God's creatures have a place in paradise.




					time.com


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 13, 2022)

Far-right Americans seem very sad about the queen's death, including white supremacist former Trump administration official Stephen Miller.












						'America First' Conservatives Sure Do Love Their British Monarchy!
					

Sounds about white.




					www.wonkette.com


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 13, 2022)

I'm not certain there's any really appropriate place for this here so I'll choose this thread. The Poet Laureate has released his official tribute :





> Floral Tribute​Evening will come, however determined the late afternoon,
> 
> Limes and oaks in their last green flush, pearled in September mist.
> 
> ...


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I'm not certain there's any really appropriate place for this here so I'll choose this thread. The Poet Laureate has released his official tribute :



Such tender verses
Have left me unmoved
I'm not going to mourn
This monarch I never knew
Elizabeth who?


----------



## maomao (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I'm not certain there's any really appropriate place for this here so I'll choose this thread. The Poet Laureate has released his official tribute :


🤮🤮🤮

What a loathsome bootlicker Armitage is.


----------



## albionism (Sep 13, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Wonderful. An utter classic.



Alex Ferguson


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 13, 2022)

Probably been posted already but couldn’t be arsed wading through the thread 🙂


----------



## kabbes (Sep 13, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Far-right Americans seem very sad about the queen's death, including white supremacist former Trump administration official Stephen Miller.
> 
> View attachment 342518
> View attachment 342519
> ...



There is also a tranche of the US establishment that takes being “sober patricians of integrity” very seriously. It’s not surprising that they see the UK monarchy as part of their in-group.  (This tranche has been at war with recent Republicanism, incidentally.)

For example, our billionaire US CEO sent us this message:



> In an era when nation-state leadership is sorely lacking, Queen Elizabeth stood out as a dedicated, wise and dignified figure of governance. Her strength and enduring commitment to duty and country were an example to us all.
> 
> Over the years, as towering leaders in so many countries came and went, Queen Elizabeth remained a constant and steadfast presence. Frankly, for much of the world, she was our Queen. And we are all saddened by this loss.


----------



## May Kasahara (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I'm not certain there's any really appropriate place for this here so I'll choose this thread. The Poet Laureate has released his official tribute :


Bring back E J Thribb.


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 13, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> Also I never knew this was what it stood for...



That's because the derivation is rubbish. A few people are pointing that out on Twitter, but of course nobody's paying attention.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 13, 2022)

The blogger "Diamond Geezer" has been to Green Park to observe the rapidly expanding garden of flowers, sandwiches and occasionally terrible poetry:






__





						diamond geezer
					






					diamondgeezer.blogspot.com


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 13, 2022)

Fozzie Bear said:


> View attachment 342473


As with the reaction to Diana, there will be studies and research for years into exactly how so many people have been moved to pay tribute in such massive numbers, and all within the timeline of a country falling apart economically, environmentally and with transport etc.


----------



## MrSki (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 13, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> Careful if you're carrying any blank paper around



He’s a friend of mine, he’s a barrister, he’s brilliant and so smart, his chambers does a lot of amazing work, he’s interested in green issues stuff, for instance the Sheffield trees trial. HS2. Good for him, this is classic Paul, exposing bullshit like this.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The blogger "Diamond Geezer" has been to Green Park to observe the rapidly expanding garden of flowers, sandwiches and occasionally terrible poetry:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That’s a “harebrained hysteria” from me.


----------



## MrSki (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## MrSki (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## MrSki (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## petee (Sep 13, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Far-right Americans seem very sad about the queen's death, including white supremacist former Trump administration official Stephen Miller.
> 
> View attachment 342518
> View attachment 342519
> ...



some may be happy tho'..



(I think it's a parody, so, poe's law?)


----------



## MrSki (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## quiet guy (Sep 13, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



When you want to paint a tribute but the only photo you have is that of Alex Ferguson


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Rob Ray (Sep 13, 2022)

Waste energy while blinding everyone around you, says KIIS FM, it's what Lizzie would have wanted.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 13, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Far-right Americans seem very sad about the queen's death, including white supremacist former Trump administration official Stephen Miller.
> 
> View attachment 342518
> View attachment 342519
> ...





i dont think this genius knows how family trees work


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 13, 2022)

Bring on the Aussie









						Fuck This Royal Family, The 'True' King Of England Is A Bloke From Wangaratta Named Simon
					

It's a wild theory, but it holds more than a little bit of water.




					www.pedestrian.tv


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Probably been posted already but couldn’t be arsed wading through the thread 🙂
> View attachment 342521


I know satire is long since dead and it’s impossible to tell anymore, but that _cannot_ be real.

Surely. 

Please god let it not be real.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 13, 2022)

weepiper said:


>




Apparently the reason this rack was closed is because it’s adjacent to an area where people  are leaving floral tributes and it’s to prevent the flowers being trampled.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 13, 2022)

Health & Safety gorn mad


----------



## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 13, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> Apparently the reason this rack was closed is because it’s adjacent to an area where people  are leaving floral tributes and it’s to prevent the flowers being trampled.


So is the solution (a) to remove facilities for very much alive people, or (b) ask people to leave their tributes to a very much dead person elsewhere?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Health & Safety gorn mad


 
marmalade sandwiches can be slippery


----------



## two sheds (Sep 13, 2022)

Belongs here really although I've mentioned this before. A friend who in other respects seemed very intelligent said to me ooo 30 years ago that he'd once seen Ronald Reagan and the Queen on the same podium and the experience made him a royalist because the gulf in stature between them was so wide. I was speechless as I recall but you could have said the same for Reagan and a plastic duck.


----------



## clicker (Sep 13, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> marmalade sandwiches can be slippery


They'll have someone's eye out.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

I'd like to pass my condolences to the loyal subjects of Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, The Bahamas, Belize, Canada, Grenada, Jamaica, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Solomon Islands and Tuvalu.

They could have a virtual state funeral with an empty box, couldn't they?

(is this the right thread for such remarks?)


----------



## AverageJoe (Sep 13, 2022)

pinkmonkey said:


> He’s a friend of mine, he’s a barrister, he’s brilliant and so smart, his chambers does a lot of amazing work, he’s interested in green issues stuff, for instance the Sheffield trees trial. HS2. Good for him, this is classic Paul, exposing bullshit like this.


He was brilliant on TV this morning


----------



## moochedit (Sep 13, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> marmalade sandwiches can be slippery


Ban Marmalade now!


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

SysOut said:


> I'd like to pass my condolences to the loyal subjects of Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, The Bahamas, Belize, Canada, Grenada, Jamaica, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Solomon Islands and Tuvalu.
> 
> They could have a virtual state funeral with an empty box, couldn't they?
> 
> (is this the right thread for such remarks?)



aye they could also have a random date for the empty box she has a billion biff'days why only one funeral

could even try the old royalist trick or quartering the deseased and sending to the terrorises the sun next sets on queen Lizzie


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 13, 2022)

Apparently heckling a nonce is now an offence









						Man charged after Prince Andrew heckled during royal procession
					

A 22-year-old man has been charged after Prince Andrew was heckled during yesterday's procession down the Royal Mile.




					news.sky.com


----------



## RainbowTown (Sep 13, 2022)

Half of Britons shed a tear over the Queen's death, poll suggests
					

Almost half of Britons have shed a tear over the death of Her Majesty, a survey suggests. It found 55 per cent of women admitted welling up compared with 32 per cent of men.




					www.dailymail.co.uk
				





The lunacy continues.

Reaching it's hysterical best next Monday.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 13, 2022)

Royal correspondents are truly fucking insane


----------



## RainbowTown (Sep 13, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Apparently heckling a nonce is now an offence
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Welcome to the UK 2022, where voicing an opinion now gets your arrested and charged. Way to go.

That guy deserves a tip of the hat for having the courage of his convictions and doing and saying what he did. Full credit to him.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 13, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Apparently heckling a nonce is now an offence
> 
> 
> 
> ...


From what I saw, this young man was physically assaulted _after_ he'd been hustled to the back. This took place on camera, in front of the police, and yet _he_ was arrested while the person who did it melted back into the crowd. It was quite shocking. I hope the charges against him are dropped.

I read in the Guardian that a Yemeni man has been arrested in Saudi Arabia for praying for the queen at Mecca. I hope the charges against him are dropped too. Either that or the Saudi King should pointedly be left on the bus outside the abbey during the funeral next week.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

After Johnson, UK now has Truss and Charles Three.
Madness has now become normal.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> Saudi King should pointedly be left on the bus outside the abbey during the funeral next week.


Putin been invited?


----------



## gosub (Sep 13, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> From what I saw, this young man was physically assaulted _after_ he'd been hustled to the back. This took place on camera, in front of the police, and yet _he_ was arrested while the person who did it melted back into the crowd. It was quite shocking. I hope the charges against him are dropped.
> 
> I read in the Guardian that a Yemeni man has been arrested in Saudi Arabia for praying for the queen at Mecca. I hope the charges against him are dropped too. Either that or the Saudi King should pointedly be left on the bus outside the abbey during the funeral next week.


I do hope they can find a female bus driver to chauffer him.  One of the more amusing stories about the Queen in recent years


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 13, 2022)

SysOut said:


> Putin been invited?




Yes, but he's sending a representative.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

What a mouth,  what a north and south, blimey what a mouth she's got.


----------



## T & P (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I'm not certain there's any really appropriate place for this here so I'll choose this thread. The Poet Laureate has released his official tribute :


_This obsequious fawning griefwank has been brought to you in partnership with Interflora._


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

SysOut said:


> What a mouth,  what a north and south, blimey what a mouth she's got.



Looks like she's being chewing baccy and at the point where she's about to gob it out.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

SysOut said:


> What a mouth,  what a north and south, blimey what a mouth she's got.




is it me or the more you look it the more you see ken Livingston


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 13, 2022)

Zapp Brannigan said:


> So is the solution (a) to remove facilities for very much alive people, or (b) ask people to leave their tributes to a very much dead person elsewhere?



It’s next to the town hall steps. Not unreasonable. There’s also another rack opposite it that isn’t suspended. And of course, it’s only cyclists.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 13, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 342556


That reminds me. The kabbess and I were talking about wise could be done with all those lifesized Platinum Jubblies cardboard cutouts of Brenda. Her idea was that as a mark of respect, they should all be laid out on the floor.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 13, 2022)

powerful. moving.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 13, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> powerful. moving.
> 
> View attachment 342565


alan partridge voice: "is that a man, michael?"


----------



## T & P (Sep 13, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> powerful. moving.
> 
> View attachment 342565


A £99 tattoo for which he paid in cash, it seems...


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 13, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> powerful. moving.
> 
> View attachment 342565



The red hackle adds class to it. 

If it wasn’t for that, some might consider it to be a bit naff.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 13, 2022)

Carrying eggs in the vicinity of the cortege is enough to get you arrested









						Man arrested after he was allegedly seen holding eggs near Queen's coffin
					

A MAN has been arrested after he was allegedly seen carrying eggs as the Queen’s funeral cortege passed him.




					www.thenational.scot


----------



## weepiper (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> powerful. moving.
> 
> View attachment 342565


Henceforth, 'The Squinting Queen'.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

Will the RAC say the same?


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 13, 2022)

All those people who check with British Cycling before every ride will be feeling vindicated right now.


----------



## cloudyday (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 13, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> powerful. moving.
> 
> View attachment 342565


Are you certain it's not Baron Munchausen?


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Will the RAC say the same?
> 
> View attachment 342576


Right fucking mess in Norwich, can't ride your bike, can't fasten it to a bike stand....


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



The fucking cunts.  Pretty much everything I've seen before has been idiotic nonsense like the Norwich bikestand malarkey.  This is, literally, the people charged with doling out charity saying we'll starve people for a day so we don't get excused of not being onboard. Astonishing. Cunts.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Will the RAC say the same?
> 
> View attachment 342576



Just pleased they haven't cancelled Sunday's BMX race for Mini Fire!

That means I can get out of bed at 07.00 and drive to Runnymede from East London.

Oh wait....


----------



## two sheds (Sep 13, 2022)

I bet they'll ask that people don't talk like a pirate within the timings of the funerals and associated processions


----------



## spitfire (Sep 13, 2022)

I checked back a couple of pages and didn't see it but have we had Centre Parcs yet?

What an utterly bizarre decision to take.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

Was thinking some of the people closing will be down to staff shortages as anything else - if half your staff want the day off for the bank holiday (half the people at my place are taking the day off and none of them give a shit about the queen) then in lots of cases it's not really possible to open at all


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 13, 2022)

center parcs telling people who are staying over the monday that they are welcome to leave their things in the accomodation and then come back 😅


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Was thinking some of the people closing will be down to staff shortages as anything else - if half your staff want the day off for the bank holiday (half the people at my place are taking the day off and none of them give a shit about the queen) then in lots of cases it's not really possible to open at all



Food banks generally close on Bank Holidays and are staffed entirely by volunteers. E.g. this place is shut through spring and summer ones News | Kingston Foodbank (which tbf given Easter is all about charity and sacrifice is also a bit shit)

Even hospitals usually wind the hell down at weekends and bank holidays usually. The sudden nature of this holiday is whats causing the issue as people slam the brakes on and do some closures at the last minute to cope with it.

The Center Parcs thing is just insane mind.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> The Center Parcs thing is just insane mind.


They don't have enough staff prepared to come in to open I'll wager. Everyone I know in the service industry is totally on - often over - the edge staff-wise atm. And it's impossible to source temp staff at this kind of notice


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Was thinking some of the people closing will be down to staff shortages as anything else - if half your staff want the day off for the bank holiday (half the people at my place are taking the day off and none of them give a shit about the queen) then in lots of cases it's not really possible to open at all


Yeah, but with the reduced power of labour circa 2022, bosses usually find a way to bully or cajole their workforce into work if they really want to stay open.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> They don't have enough staff prepared to come in to open I'll wager. Everyone I know in the service industry is totally on - often over - the edge staff-wise atm. And it's impossible to source temp staff at this kind of notice



I could understand not taking new bookings but the whole - leave your stuff and come back Tuesday? You'd think that the staff levels would be baked in for that or they'd offer more rates to ensure continuity.

Very odd.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Yeah, but with the reduced power of labour circa 2022, bosses usually find a way to bully or cajole their workforce into work if they really want to stay open.


No-one wants to be in the papers next week after forcing their staff to come in on the day of the funeral. Anyone who wants a day off Monday gets one.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> No-one wants to be in the papers next week after forcing their staff to come in on the day of the funeral. Anyone who wants a day off Monday gets one.


Well, yeah, that's it, not that they can't drag their staff in. And of course lots of people will end up losing money by not being able to work,


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Anyone who wants a day off Monday gets one.


if only…


----------



## prunus (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Will the RAC say the same?
> 
> View attachment 342576



Fuck and Off.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> They don't have enough staff prepared to come in to open I'll wager. Everyone I know in the service industry is totally on - often over - the edge staff-wise atm. And it's impossible to source temp staff at this kind of notice


They'd surely be able to get a skeleton staff if they offered the right rate.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

It's just another shitshow, this time with added royalist  sprinkles, that shows exactly where the class struggle is at.


----------



## RainbowTown (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## LDC (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Even hospitals usually wind the hell down at weekends and bank holidays usually. The sudden nature of this holiday is whats causing the issue as people slam the brakes on and do some closures at the last minute to cope with it.



Lol, I take it you don't work in a hospital?


----------



## krink (Sep 13, 2022)

Saw this on twitter


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

Raheem said:


> They'd surely be able to get a skeleton staff if they offered the right rate.


I expect they did the calculations and worked out the route they took was less of a financial hit.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

RainbowTown said:


> View attachment 342589


Thought that must have been a prog fan, kept reading 'unimaginable' as 'Ummagumma'.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> I expect they did the calculations and worked out the route they took was less of a financial hit.


Well, yeah, I expect so.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> if only…


management don't count


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Anyone who wants a day off Monday gets one.



Well that's clearly bollocks.


----------



## AverageJoe (Sep 13, 2022)

RainbowTown said:


> View attachment 342589


STOP SHOUTING


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Well that's clearly bollocks.


Why do you think all these places are shutting for the day? you think Centre Parcs give a fuck about the queen?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

krink said:


> Saw this on twitter View attachment 342591


Thank fuck the Durham Clothing Bank is on a Tuesday.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> No-one wants to be in the papers next week after forcing their staff to come in on the day of the funeral. Anyone who wants a day off Monday gets one.


We've just been sent the email - no holiday for NHS staff. Or at least in our Trust. The exact quote is "our Trust can think of no greater tribute to Her Majesty than putting patients first".


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> management don't count


A large percentage of the people working on my campus have to be in. Students start arriving from Saturday, including internationals, so we can’t just shut down.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> A large percentage of the people working on my campus have to be in. Students start arriving from Saturday, including internationals, so we can’t just shut down.



And any number of other things that can't just stop at short notice. Schools are closing but that kicks up a huge childcare issue. It'll be the third short-notice closure this year for many families too, after one for the storm of doom and one for the heatwave of doom.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> A large percentage of the people working on my campus have to be in. Students start arriving from Saturday, including internationals, so we can’t just shut down.


Ditto mine, Teesside, a significant minority at least.  Library and anybody involved in 'welcoming' new students have to be in.


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> We've just been sent the email - no holiday for NHS staff. Or at least in our Trust. The exact quote is "our Trust can think of no greater tribute to Her Majesty than putting patients first".


My NHS organisation is trying to shut as much as possible, just keep essential and emergency going, because they don't want to pay staff BH rates.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> A large percentage of the people working on my campus have to be in. Students start arriving from Saturday, including internationals, so we can’t just shut down.


are they turning down people's requests for the day off?


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> are they turning down people's requests for the day off?


Don’t think it’s even an option to request for a lot of people. They’ll be paid a double day and get it back as an extra day of annual leave.

The funeral itself we’re showing on a big screen, so I’m guessing most things will come to a halt for a couple of hours. But other than that, there’s lots of activity that can’t be stopped - shuttle buses from airports, arrival registrations, welcome talks and so on. And various food/beverage outlets open to keep everyone going. The sheer numbers of students involved means a lot can’t simply be moved to another day.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> are they turning down people's requests for the day off?



Have you ever done a job at all?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> are they turning down people's requests for the day off?


Do you think everybody feels able to 'ask' in today's workplace?


----------



## Edie (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> We've just been sent the email - no holiday for NHS staff. Or at least in our Trust. The exact quote is "our Trust can think of no greater tribute to Her Majesty than putting patients first".


Dry laugh  What about those of us grieving for Her Maj


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

Edie said:


> Dry laugh  What about those of us grieving for Her Maj


There’s counselling.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Have you ever done a job at all?


I have, but not during a moment quite like this. There is government guidance published in the last day or so which recommends employers should try to accommodate staff who want time off for the funeral. It's in all the papers. People who might otherwise not feel confident to ask for the day off might feel differently under the current circumstances. And employers who otherwise might turn such requests down out of hand might also feel differently if there's a chance they'll be shamed for it next week.


----------



## T & P (Sep 13, 2022)

krink said:


> Saw this on twitter View attachment 342591


Fasting on the day of the funeral is but the least anyone can do to mark the event.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> We've just been sent the email - no holiday for NHS staff. Or at least in our Trust. The exact quote is "our Trust can think of no greater tribute to Her Majesty than putting patients first".


When I took the phone call from the poor woman in the orthopaedic department told to ring around to those of us who've lost out appointments because of the monarchical demise she sounded so down about the task that I cheered her a little by enthusiastically offering to come in for my appt. regardless. She raised half a laugh and then said sorry but....


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

LDC said:


> Lol, I take it you don't work in a hospital?



No but trying to get a blood test or routine surgery on a weekend is a pain in the absolute fucking arse. I managed to get a hearing test at the local one on a Sunday a few weeks ago and the place was fucking dead as a doornail and its the first time I've had a weekend ppointment in 20 odd years of an assortment of health conditions.

They don't shut down by any stretch and I'm not saying they do but very few of them do appointments outside of core hours except for absolute emergencies. If your lucky the big ones do blood tests. A&E never sleeps of course.


----------



## A380 (Sep 13, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Yeah, but with the reduced power of labour circa 2022...


I presume you are posting from some parallel universe.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 13, 2022)

Have we had the Telegraph article on "Who's the real anti-racists, eh?" yet?








						Forget wokery, the monarchy is the real bastion of anti-racism
					

The republican Left will never understand this, but immigrant communities are a natural constituency for the ideals the crown represents




					www.telegraph.co.uk


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> I have, but not during a moment quite like this. There is government guidance published in the last day or so which recommends employers should try to accommodate staff who want time off for the funeral. It's in all the papers. People who might otherwise not feel confident to ask for the day off might feel differently under the current circumstances. And employers who otherwise might turn such requests down out of hand might also feel differently if there's a chance they'll be shamed for it next week.



Yeah well government advice is worth the paper its printed on.

Oh wait, its all digital now.


----------



## A380 (Sep 13, 2022)

spitfire said:


> I checked back a couple of pages and didn't see it but have we had Centre Parcs yet?
> 
> What an utterly bizarre decision to take.



But I wanted to pay £83 plus vat to hire two badmington racquets for 45 minutes to show my respect...


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

A380 said:


> I presume you are posting from some parallel universe.


probably, but about what particularly?


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> A large percentage of the people working on my campus have to be in. Students start arriving from Saturday, including internationals, so we can’t just shut down.





Wilf said:


> Ditto mine, Teesside, a significant minority at least.  Library and anybody involved in 'welcoming' new students have to be in.


Have youse spoken with your union branches about this? Just did a quick check to compare, and for instance, this is what York are doing:








						University updates following the passing of Queen Elizabeth II
					

Information about University plans and a message from our Vice-Chancellor, following the passing of Queen Elizabeth II.




					www.york.ac.uk
				





> *Public holiday Monday 19 September*
> 
> We will be operating our normal public holiday procedures for Monday 19 September, which is the extraordinary national holiday on the day of the State Funeral.
> 
> ...




If everyone at York is getting an extra day of paid leave, and people at your campus aren't, that's a bit fucked and something your local branches should be raising.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> I have, but not during a moment quite like this. There is government guidance published in the last day or so which recommends employers should try to accommodate staff who want time off for the funeral. It's in all the papers. People who might otherwise not feel confident to ask for the day off might feel differently under the current circumstances. And employers who otherwise might turn such requests down out of hand might also feel differently if there's a chance they'll be shamed for it next week.



you have read that the government has stated that their is not regulatory reason for employers to give people a day off for this one
so many small companies can say use your own holiday if you want it off

also employers are not obliged to give  out you time in lieu or a higher rate for working bank holidays
it all dependant on the contract you sign up to

worker rights in this country are shite and getting worse


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 13, 2022)

organisation is doing a social media silence out of respect or whatever

so putting out information about what's open on monday is not allowed


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> you have read that the government has stated that their is not regulatory reason for employers to give people a day off for this one
> so many small companies can say use your own holiday if you want it off
> 
> also employers are not obliged to give  out you time in lieu or a higher rate for working bank holidays
> ...



Yeah, this and the short time frame this has been rammed through means a hodge podge of different plans are in place. I'm actually surprised supermarkets are shutting down so much but I imagine thats mostly a PR thing.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> Have youse spoken with your union branches about this? Just did a quick check to compare, and for instance, this is what York are doing:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Mrs B's University is closing for the day too fwiw


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 13, 2022)

Wilf said:


> The fucking cunts.  Pretty much everything I've seen before has been idiotic nonsense like the Norwich bikestand malarkey.  This is, literally, the people charged with doling out charity saying we'll starve people for a day so we don't get excused of not being onboard. Astonishing. Cunts.


Does anyone have a screenshot of the cunts in question


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> Have youse spoken with your union branches about this? Just did a quick check to compare, and for instance, this is what York are doing:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


“staff who are needed to maintain the University's core activities on 19 September 2022 will be required to work as normal”

Which is pretty much what our place is doing. Welcoming students for a new term - with all the infrastructure/support requirements that entails - is about as core an activity as you can get.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 13, 2022)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> Does anyone have a screenshot of the cunts in question


Dunno, but just found this from the Chronicle:








						North East foodbanks close warehouse and centres for Queen's funeral
					

Some foodbanks across the North East will close on Monday as the Queen's funeral is held




					www.chroniclelive.co.uk


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Yeah, this and the short time frame this has been rammed through means a hodge podge of different plans are in place. I'm actually surprised supermarkets are shutting down so much but I imagine thats mostly a PR thing.



think the schools reaction has been the driving force behind people getting a day off otherwise it would be a working bank holiday
for my small company at least the HR whos reaction to small number of  people being will to work in the office during the start pandemic was "you are getting paid aren't you"

has got a gaggle of kids and grandchildren


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

HoratioCuthbert said:


> Does anyone have a screenshot of the cunts in question




I hope there has not been a misunderstanding when you asked for a screenshot of cunts.  I’m assuming you’re referring to this Foodbank.  I’m not sure they’re cunts.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> “staff who are needed to maintain the University's core activities on 19 September 2022 will be required to work as normal”
> 
> Which is pretty much what our place is doing. Welcoming students for a new term - with all the infrastructure/support requirements that entails - is about as core an activity as you can get.


Yeah, but are they doing this bit?
_*You will be granted one additional day of leave in lieu, to be taken in agreement with your line manager.*_
There's a big difference between "required to work as normal in exchange for an additional day's leave in lieu" and "required to work as normal", if it's just the latter then they're taking the piss.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 342602
> 
> I hope there has not been a misunderstanding when you asked for a screenshot of cunts.  I’m assuming you’re referring to this Foodbank.  I’m not sure they’re cunts.



aye not sure you can call foodbank workers who would tend to be a older crowd as a bunch of cunts for taking time off for a event like
this i'm not a royalist but ffs the volunteers who do great work the rest of the year


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> Yeah, but are they doing this bit?
> _*You will be granted one additional day of leave in lieu, to be taken in agreement with your line manager.*_
> There's a big difference between "required to work as normal in exchange for an additional day's leave in lieu" and "required to work as normal", if it's just the latter then they're taking the piss.


I already said any staff working will be on double pay as well as getting the day back as additional leave…


----------



## editor (Sep 13, 2022)

Over half a million people tracking her plane. Nice plane, mind.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

Whats the carbon footprint of this charade?


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 13, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 342602
> 
> I hope there has not been a misunderstanding when you asked for a screenshot of cunts.  I’m assuming you’re referring to this Foodbank.  I’m not sure they’re cunts.


Take it up with Wilf, they were unspecified cunts in an unavailable tweet, that's all I could see!


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

Northolt's not in that direction


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

Yeah, wilf. Harsh.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Whats the carbon footprint of this charade?


The Monarchy? Wow. Well, helicopters to Woking for pizza…


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> I already said any staff working will be on double pay as well as getting the day back as additional leave…


Ah, had missed that bit - fair enough then.


----------



## Cloo (Sep 13, 2022)

Account to follow for this thread: https://twitter.com/GrieveWatch


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## spitfire (Sep 13, 2022)

Wimbledon Foodbank has got the volunteers it needs to open on Monday now.

Also BUTLINS AREN'T CLOSING ON MONDAY.

IN YOUR FACE CENTRE PARCS!


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Wimbledon Foodbank has got the volunteers it needs to open on Monday now.
> 
> Also BUTLINS AREN'T CLOSING ON MONDAY.
> 
> IN YOUR FACE CENTRE PARCS!



What about Britannia?


----------



## spitfire (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> What about Britannia?



Ruling the waves probs.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> I already said any staff working will be on double pay as well as getting the day back as additional leave…


Sounds like a pretty good deal for a day you were planning on working anyway tbf


----------



## Raheem (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> What about Britannia?


Waiting to see if there will be a building society holiday too.

ETA: yes, I know it doesn't exist anymore.


----------



## cesare (Sep 13, 2022)

two sheds said:


> I bet they'll ask that people don't talk like a pirate within the timings of the funerals and associated processions


Arghshes to arghshes (curtsey of the button )


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Wimbledon Foodbank has got the volunteers it needs to open on Monday now.
> 
> Also BUTLINS AREN'T CLOSING ON MONDAY.
> 
> IN YOUR FACE CENTRE PARCS!



butlins are not closing because they charging fucking triple for a random weekend in fucking september


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

Local councils should be rushing to get statues and rename places.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

editor said:


> Over half a million people tracking her plane. Nice plane, mind.
> 
> View attachment 342604



you not kinda seeming as i may randomly use that for my job from time to time
never seen a splash page going 


if you look for this flight go to fucking youtube


----------



## donkyboy (Sep 13, 2022)

Another pen incident caught on cam


----------



## 5t3IIa (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Yeah, wilf. Harsh.


Yep, probably, just sick of the whole thing.   Also, beer.


----------



## cesare (Sep 13, 2022)

Dead beloved queen always avoided these types of rooky errors by ensuring one always had a bookies mini pen with one at all times.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Yep, probably, just sick of the whole thing.   Also, beer.


Understandable.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 13, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Wimbledon Foodbank has got the volunteers it needs to open on Monday now.
> 
> Also BUTLINS AREN'T CLOSING ON MONDAY.
> 
> IN YOUR FACE CENTRE PARCS!


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

Charles seems to have inherited an amped up version of his father's shitty behaviour.  And, I'm astonished that I could ever write these words, with even _less _charm than the old buffoonish racist.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 13, 2022)

spitfire said:


> Just pleased they haven't cancelled Sunday's BMX race for Mini Fire!
> 
> That means I can get out of bed at 07.00 and drive to Runnymede from East London.
> 
> Oh wait....




Rose & Crown in Thorpe if you're looking for somewhere nice for food afterwards...


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

Having said that, maybe there's maybe a softer side to him.  That clenched teeth frustration he does is clearly a Wallace and Gromit homage.


----------



## spitfire (Sep 13, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Rose & Crown in Thorpe if you're looking for somewhere nice for food afterwards...



Looks nice but imma hightailing it back to the smoke to get blotto for yer Queen.


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 13, 2022)

The rabbit can barely show its face through the tears..


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Sounds like a pretty good deal for a day you were planning on working anyway tbf


Oh it’s a decent deal, and as employers go they’re not bad. But the idea that anyone out there can just say “nah, not working Monday because Queen” is way off the reality for a lot of people.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 13, 2022)

Weren't people specifically warned not to throw flowers? Because of the clean up primarily, but also because it's just fucking rude and potentially dangerous to throw things at a car being driven by someone. The poor drivers heart is probably racing as it us, without random roses smacking off the windows. I noticed nobody in Edinburgh did so, but not even half way down the A40 some selfish cunts have already been chucking them at the hearse.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 13, 2022)

5t3IIa said:


> View attachment 342612


Who named Windsor Loyal Subject? That one feels like it's trying a bit hard.


----------



## tonysingh (Sep 13, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>




That's obscene.


----------



## magneze (Sep 13, 2022)

What is?


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 13, 2022)

Nothing shows true devotion as much as dying plant genitalia, hurled with great force.


----------



## tonysingh (Sep 13, 2022)

magneze said:


> What is?



Ah didn't realise the tweet had been pulled. A food bank is shutting for the day coz of Lizzy croaking.


----------



## emanymton (Sep 13, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Yep, probably, just sick of the whole thing.   Also, beer.


I took it as general frustration with the whole thing and the way people are acting pushed the foisbank towards closing.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

My telly's EPG tells me that the title of the programme currently being broadcast on BBC1 is "_*The Eve of the Procession to Lying in State".*_

Really.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 13, 2022)

it a random though she must be in a casket


as it does not take 8  men to carry a coffin


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

Food banks are mostly staffed by volunteers, not sure what option they'd have but to close if their usual staff are all home weeping in front of the telly


----------



## emanymton (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Food banks are mostly staffed by volunteers, not sure what option they'd have but to close if their usual staff are all home weeping in front of the telly


Do you really think that's it? 
All this is performative isn't it? Going through the motion's for fear of being seen not to?


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

emanymton said:


> I took it as general frustration with the whole thing and the way people are acting pushed the foisbank towards closing.


Yeah, I was a bit hasty, harsh and pished. I don't know whether they and others are closing out of some panic that everyone has to fall in line, shortage of volunteers or what.  But those who volunteer are doing a lifesaving job.


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 13, 2022)

I just had a look at Newsthump and they are nailing it.
Their current frontpage:


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

emanymton said:


> Do you really think that's it?
> All this is performative isn't it? Going through the motion's for fear of being seen not to?


Yeah I do. Why would a food bank - an essential service for destitute people - worry about being judged for staying open? it doesn't make any sense.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> it a random though she must be in a casket
> 
> 
> as it does not take 8  men to carry a coffin



It’s got the inheritance in it. Or the corgis


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Yeah I do. Why would a food bank - an essential service for destitute people - worry about being judged for staying open? it doesn't make any sense.




Food banks close on bank holidays, Monday is a bank holiday. Presumably a mix of volunteer shortages and supply chain disruption. The tweet is dressed up to  be polite and “pay respects” 

It’s all last minute so it’s going to mess people about a bit but it’s standard procedure for them to close


----------



## Wilf (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Yeah I do. Why would a food bank - an essential service for destitute people - worry about being judged for staying open? it doesn't make any sense.


My pure guess is that the decisions to close were made at the level of the cross town management committee, rather than the volunteers for specific foodbanks. Particularly given the subsequent U turn. Perhaps a slightly cack handed application of the 'we always shut on a bank holiday' rule.


----------



## emanymton (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Yeah I do. Why would a food bank - an essential service for destitute people - worry about being judged for staying open? it doesn't make any sense.


Maybe I'm in a bit of a bubble but I don't see lots of people turning round and saying their are too grief striken (or just too desperate to watch the funeral) to be able to do their normal volunteering helping givr food to those who need it.

People "saying" to get out of work, maybe.


----------



## emanymton (Sep 13, 2022)

killer b said:


> Yeah I do. Why would a food bank - an essential service for destitute people - worry about being judged for staying open? it doesn't make any sense.


Also maybe because they rely on donations?


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

emanymton said:


> Maybe I'm in a bit of a bubble but I don't see lots of people turning round and saying their are too grief striken (or just too desperate to watch the funeral) to be able to do their normal volunteering helping givr food to those who need it.
> 
> People "saying" to get out of work, maybe.


Volunteers at my local foodbank are mostly old dears who are IME more likely to be into the whole royal shit than people of my generation who don't give much of a fuck


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 13, 2022)

emanymton said:


> Also maybe because they rely on donations?




Also a good point, there was a Manchester food bank saying they were in shit because the football shut down.


----------



## killer b (Sep 13, 2022)

either way, I think we can probably agree that calling a voluntary service disgusting for closing for the day is probably a bit much.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 13, 2022)

Could be some good publicity for anti-monarchists if they turned up outside the closed food bank on the day with food to distribute.


----------



## scifisam (Sep 13, 2022)

For the food banks it's probably that public transport will be disrupted and a lot of the volunteers will need it to get there. And so will most of the users. I mean, that's why they usually close on bank holidays. 

I think they must often do it on a Monday (a lot of them round here do) because that's both when people need it most and it means the sorting, which is the biggest job, can be done at the weekend when there are more volunteers, but being in a church hall like most of them are means opening to the public to give out the donations at the weekend probably isn't feasible.


----------



## scifisam (Sep 13, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Could be some good publicity for anti-monarchists if they turned up outside the closed food bank on the day with food to distribute.



You don't just turn up with a bag of food and give it to people yourself.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## Elpenor (Sep 13, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> View attachment 342630


I saw a comment on this which said “what a story she will have to tell her cats in twenty years time”


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> View attachment 342630


To be fair, I was like that with Hex at Alton Towers.


----------



## Santino (Sep 13, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I saw a comment on this which said “what a story she will have to tell her cats in twenty years time”


Hmm.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 13, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> View attachment 342630


same sacks of spuds each time.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 13, 2022)

Mad but also a bit sad. Presume she hasn't got much going on.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Mad but also a bit sad. Presume she hasn't got much going on.


Edinburgh, intit. There’s trams. That’s about it.  A train to Glasgow.


----------



## bcuster (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## ska invita (Sep 13, 2022)

.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> It’s got the inheritance in it. Or the corgis


Someone at work suggested she was being buried in one of the crowns! That can't be true, can it??

(He asked, on the internet  )


----------



## two sheds (Sep 13, 2022)

Someone on Reddit was  getting alerts from various places along the queen's funeral procession, he said it was like getting tracking updates on an amazon parcel.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Someone on Reddit was  getting alerts from various places along the queen's funeral procession, he said it was like getting tracking updates on an amazon parcel.


Derek has five more stops before the Queen’s corpse is delivered to you.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 13, 2022)

Lord Camomile said:


> Someone at work suggested she was being buried in one of the crowns! That can't be true, can it??
> 
> (He asked, on the internet  )





i know she wasn't very tall, but don't think she would fit


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 13, 2022)

Sorry Lord Camomile don’t know what happened there.  I know you didn’t say that.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 13, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Sorry Lord Camomile don’t know what happened there.  I know you didn’t say that.


Happens from time to time. Ghosts in the machine, and suchlike.

_Whose _ghost, though...


----------



## Ming (Sep 13, 2022)

Well they’ve been driving the carcass around for a bit for the people to have a look at. Won’t it start to smell a bit now?


----------



## Pingety Pong (Sep 13, 2022)

I think the whole coffin show would be improved immeasurably by having an open coffin, like they did at the lying-in-state of John Paul II. I would queue up for that!


----------



## Funky_monks (Sep 13, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> Have youse spoken with your union branches about this? Just did a quick check to compare, and for instance, this is what York are doing:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


We are moving all welcome week stuff to Tuesday - Friday, nothing is going on here on Monday


----------



## pogofish (Sep 13, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> What about Britannia?



Closed already and will remain closed until the end of the official mourning. 

When they got the ship, there was some agreement made that they would still observe aspects of Royal protocol, like it was still in service.


----------



## Ground Elder (Sep 13, 2022)




----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 13, 2022)

Queen spotted next to 'angel' in eerie last picture before death, claims psychic
					

EXCLUSIVE: Psychic Real Housewives of Cheshire star Deborah Davies spotted an "angel" alongside the Queen in the last snaps of the beloved monarch before she died aged 96




					www.dailystar.co.uk


----------



## two sheds (Sep 13, 2022)

looks more like a devil what with it being a fire and all


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 13, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> marmalade sandwiches can be slippery


In that case they should have posted some Seville Enforcement Officers there instead of just closing the bike racks


----------



## SysOut (Sep 13, 2022)

two sheds said:


> looks more like a devil what with it being a fire and all


Satan is an angel according to the Old Testament.
But the Church has since moved the furniture around a bit.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 13, 2022)

Someone has mentioned the Tower to Mr 4 takes.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 14, 2022)

I know this has been posted. But I quite this take  🤣


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> "I've been round 7 times!"


She thought it was Ikea.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 14, 2022)

SysOut said:


> She thought it was Ikea.


Once round that place is bad enough.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 14, 2022)

One must not eat snacks.


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Don’t think it’s even an option to request for a lot of people. They’ll be paid a double day and get it back as an extra day of annual leave.
> 
> The funeral itself we’re showing on a big screen, so I’m guessing most things will come to a halt for a couple of hours. But other than that, there’s lots of activity that can’t be stopped - shuttle buses from airports, arrival registrations, welcome talks and so on. And various food/beverage outlets open to keep everyone going. The sheer numbers of students involved means a lot can’t simply be moved to another day.



Or, they are on the rota to work that day, they could ask for the day off but they won't get paid for it if they don't work it, and there's no such thing as bank holidays in their workplace let alone extra pay for working a designated bank holiday.

I used to get paid bank holidays off when I was in the civil service, but most people these days in other sectors don't - it's either a case of you work the day on normal wages, or you don't work that shift and you don't get paid for it.

I think people underestimate how many people are paid hourly/per shift or on zero hours contracts rather than on a salary these days.


----------



## MikeMcc (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> It’s got the inheritance in it. Or the corgis


Traditionally the bloody thing is lead lined. Can't have creepy-crawlies eating the royal dead.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 14, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Derek has five more stops before the Queen’s corpse is delivered to you.


Hope it's not Yodel or DHL


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 14, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> View attachment 342630



TBF, people are like that with the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, which got me thinking (off topic), what is this country's foremost museum/gallery masterpiece? For all the stolen shit, is there anything so universally popular that spectators can only observe it for minutes/seconds before rejoining a queue?


----------



## Ming (Sep 14, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I know this has been posted. But I quite this take  🤣



Packing the carcass with pounds of cocaine.


----------



## JimW (Sep 14, 2022)

Ming said:


> Well they’ve been driving the carcass around for a bit for the people to have a look at. Won’t it start to smell a bit now?


"Qin Shi Huang died in 210 B.C. while touring eastern China. Officials traveling with him wanted to keep it secret, so to disguise the stench of his corpse, filled up 10 carts with fish to travel with his body."
Borrow a trick from the early Chinese empire.


----------



## spring-peeper (Sep 14, 2022)

Ming said:


> Won’t it start to smell a bit now?



Nope



> As Royal Family members are buried inside a chamber, rather than directly in the ground, their coffins are lined with lead in order to slow decomposition. The lead seals the coffin and prevents moisture from getting in, preserving the body for up to a year.











						Why is Queen Elizabeth II's coffin lined with lead?
					

Queen Elizabeth II's coffin, which arrived in London from Edinburgh on Tuesday, is made out of English oak and lined with lead in a royal tradition dating back hundreds of years.




					www.ctvnews.ca


----------



## Ming (Sep 14, 2022)

spring-peeper said:


> Nope
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Typical British establishment. 

Spoiling all the fun.

 I preferred the ten carts of fish solution myself. 
Would've been really funny because they'd had to have sped up the carcass' tour round the land as the smell increased.


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

In terms of volunteering (I do environmental work, not a foodbank), I do Fridays so not affected.  Actually very little seems to have been affected at the place I volunteer.

However you can't just have volunteers in to run an operation, there are requirements (which may be legal or contractual)  in terms of staff being on the premises to supervise who are DBS checked, having a first-aider available, risk assessments which may state that people need to work in pairs for safety which means a complete rejigging of rotas etc.

For some organisations without a lot of give in terms of staff time to co-ordinate volunteer rotas at short notice with the travel disruption and a few not turning up, it might be easier to close for the day than rework everything.

And let's not be too harsh on people who turn up to places and donate their labour to help others.


----------



## Ming (Sep 14, 2022)

Actually this really pisses me off. 

On the 19th I'll be recovering from a night shift and my landlord wants to examine my unit to test the fire alarm in the morning (means no sleep for me). And my place is a bachelor shit hole which means I'll have to clean the place before he comes in. 

And Trudeau's just declared it a bank holiday so I'll not get any extra money as I'm not sure I'm considered working. 

And it's international speak like a pirate day so I won't be at work to take the piss. 

But y'know Madge.


----------



## spring-peeper (Sep 14, 2022)

Ming said:


> And Trudeau's just declared it a bank holiday so I'll not get any extra money as I'm not sure I'm considered working.




No, you are wrong.

Trudeau declared a federal holiday, federal employees get the day off.

BC is closing the schools, but that is all they are doing.   The other provinces will continue as usual.

Sorry about getting your day disrupted by the fire alarm testing.  Hubby used to work the midnight shift, so I really do understand.

Trudeau is giving money to people who are eligible for a gst rebate.  
I hope you get some of it, we do not qualify.


----------



## Ming (Sep 14, 2022)

spring-peeper said:


> No, you are wrong.
> 
> Trudeau declared a federal holiday, federal employees get the day off.
> 
> ...


Okey dokey.


----------



## spring-peeper (Sep 14, 2022)

Ming said:


> Okey dokey.



Heck, you work midnights!!!

Just wanting to let you know.


----------



## dessiato (Sep 14, 2022)

killer b said:


> Yeah I do. Why would a food bank - an essential service for destitute people - worry about being judged for staying open? it doesn't make any sense.


In my opinion it would be the opposite. Staying open to help people who are struggling could/would be seen as an act of significant altruism. "Even though we had to miss the funeral we stayed open because it was more important to help and support those who need us."


----------



## Cid (Sep 14, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> TBF, people are like that with the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, which got me thinking (off topic), what is this country's foremost museum/gallery masterpiece? For all the stolen shit, is there anything so universally popular that spectators can only observe it for minutes/seconds before rejoining a queue?



Appropriately but sadly I imagine it's the crown jewels. Although for foremost masterpiece substitute 'most touristy single thingy'.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 14, 2022)

Centre Parcs has backed down and will no longer be turfing their guests out for 24 hours.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 14, 2022)

killer b said:


> Food banks are mostly staffed by volunteers, not sure what option they'd have but to close if their usual staff are all home weeping in front of the telly


Our foodbank opens 2 hrs a day, twice a week. I've had a look at other foodbanks and this is not uncommon. We usually had one quiet day in the week and one really busy day when I used to volunteer there, due to how people are referred I guess. Trussel trust mentions this in the article Hitmouse shared, local foodbanks will know what their needs are and can decide whether they can shut or not.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

Nine Bob Note said:


> TBF, people are like that with the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, which got me thinking (off topic), what is this country's foremost museum/gallery masterpiece? For all the stolen shit, is there anything so universally popular that spectators can only observe it for minutes/seconds before rejoining a queue?





Cid said:


> Appropriately but sadly I imagine it's the crown jewels. Although for foremost masterpiece substitute 'most touristy single thingy'.



Rosetta Stone always has a queue despite an exact replica nearby being always empty.


----------



## TopCat (Sep 14, 2022)

‘Worthy of the Stasi’: British Cycling in Queen’s funeral U-turn after ridicule
					

British Cycling has performed a sharp U-turn after its ‘strong recommendation’ that people should not use their bikes at all during the Queen’s funeral was widely mocked.




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## killer b (Sep 14, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Centre Parcs has backed down and will no longer be turfing their guests out for 24 hours.


genuinely hilarious.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 14, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Centre Parcs has backed down and will no longer be turfing their guests out for 24 hours.



Probably some lawyers had a word in someone's ear about how many enraged Simons and Susans they'd have demanding compensation for this, the greatest injustice since Marks and Spencers ran out of almond butter.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 14, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Centre Parcs has backed down and will no longer be turfing their guests out for 24 hours.



I think it’s brilliant that they actually considered telling people already staying in their properties to fuck off and come back the next day. 

This is what happens when alcohol is served at management meetings.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 14, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> I think it’s brilliant that they actually considered telling people already staying in their properties to fuck off and come back the next day.
> 
> This is what happens when alcohol is served at management meetings.


I suspect the U-turn isn't only because to the PR backlash but also the realisation that 800ish people would have been entitled to sue for alternative accommodation and compensation for being denied access to all the other facilities and services they'd paid for and been denied.
Or sue for the remainder of their stay arguing that they had been effectively forced to go home and end their holiday prematurely.


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 14, 2022)

The39thStep said:


> Bring on the Aussie
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Bring on the Aussies 2



> Author Mario Reading, a leading expert on the 16th Century astrologer, claims that the thenPrince Charles’s divorce from Princess Diana would lead to widespread disapproval that will force the new king to abdicate.
> 
> The book, written way back in 2005, reinterprets original predictions made by Nostradamus 447 years ago and suggests "a man who never expected to become king" take the throne.
> 
> This has led to the bombshell claim this might be referring to Prince Harry or even_ Australian Simon Dorante-Day, who claims to be the secret son of King Charles and Camilla._


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 14, 2022)

Thanks a bunch Chuck









						King Charles’s staff notified of redundancies during church service for Queen
					

Exclusive: Employees said to be livid and shaken as up to 100 Clarence House employees told they could lose jobs




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 14, 2022)

Gromit said:


> I suspect the U-turn isn't only because to the PR backlash but also the realisation that 800ish people would have been entitled to sue for alternative accommodation and compensation for being denied access to all the other facilities and services they'd paid for and been denied.
> Or sue for the remainder of their stay arguing that they had been effectively forced to go home and end their holiday prematurely.



Well obviously. It screams ‘breach of contract’, but you’d have expected there to be at least one “manager” with a Business Studies A level in the room, who wasn’t pissed, to tell them that.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 14, 2022)

Was genuinely surprised at Centre Parcs, had assumed that people could stay in their chalets, just the facilities would be closed for the day, but to actually suggest that everyone has to leave and camp out by the front gates for 24 hours, that’s quite special.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> Was genuinely surprised at Centre Parcs, had assumed that people could stay in their chalets, just the facilities would be closed for the day, but to actually suggest that everyone has to leave and camp out by the front gates for 24 hours, that’s quite special.


Even more bonkers was the “concession” that the ‘refugee guests’ would be able to leave their own possessions in the chalets they’d been removed from!

😂


----------



## killer b (Sep 14, 2022)

I'd love to be the guy who this morning has to ring round all the people they told yesterday are having an unpaid day off on Monday to beg them to come in after all


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 14, 2022)

spring-peeper said:


> Nope
> 
> 
> 
> ...



sounds more like it to keep the lizard zombies contained


----------



## petee (Sep 14, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Thanks a bunch Chuck
> 
> 
> 
> ...



wow that's cold.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

killer b said:


> I'd love to be the guy who this morning has to ring round all the people they told yesterday are having an unpaid day off on Monday to beg them to come in after all


Exactly, never the bonus-incentivised fuckwit management who have to clear up after the making of their own mess.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 14, 2022)

petee said:


> wow that's cold.



To be fair, a lot of those jobs simply aren’t going to exist any more. I expect a lot of them will be redeployed to other duties like lackeys to William, but redundancies were inevitable.

They could have waited until after Monday to announce them though.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 14, 2022)

petee said:


> wow that's cold.




As cold as his old mum…


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 14, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Thanks a bunch Chuck
> 
> 
> 
> ...


A fucking beep in Morrison's is disrespectful and people need to rearrange funerals, but couldn't delay those P45s


----------



## girasol (Sep 14, 2022)

donkyboy said:


> Another pen incident caught on cam



Grumpy Charles is hilarious.  Just like so many grumpy old men - Victor Meldrew cames to mind . Desk tantrums - I hope they become a regular thing.  Looking forward to seeing what he comes up and the reactions that will follow.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 14, 2022)

donkyboy said:


> Another pen incident caught on cam




Gotta be the ultimate first world problem.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 14, 2022)

quiet guy said:


> Hope it's not Yodel or DHL


_Your monarch’s corpse was left in your conservatory._

Conservatory?  I live in a flat!


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 14, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> _Your monarch’s corpse was left in your conservatory._
> 
> Conservatory?  I live in a flat!


Photo on the website of them leaving it at the door of Westminster Cathedral, not Abbey.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 14, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> _Your monarch’s corpse was left in your conservatory._
> 
> Conservatory?  I live in a flat!


Sometimes they try and fling the delivery through an open window.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

Gromit said:


> Sometimes they try and fling the delivery through an open window.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> What about Britannia?


Britannia hotels will upset its guests by ensuring you can never leave.


----------



## Cloo (Sep 14, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> To be fair, a lot of those jobs simply aren’t going to exist any more. I expect a lot of them will be redeployed to other duties like lackeys to William, but redundancies were inevitable.
> 
> They could have waited until after Monday to announce them though.


Apparently their 'legal advice' was to tell staff ASAP. Timing aside,  it's ultimately no different from any scenario where you have to inform staff they are at risk of redundancy.


----------



## Cloo (Sep 14, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Britannia hotels will upset its guests by ensuring you can never leave.


I thought that was Hotel California.


----------



## T & P (Sep 14, 2022)

Has the world gone completely, utter fucking bonkers? 







(As of Wednesday morning)


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> Has the world gone completely, utter fucking bonkers?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I follow some craft beer people on Twitter who are pointing out the route is very handy for some of London's best bars South of the river.


----------



## T & P (Sep 14, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I follow some craft beer people on Twitter who are pointing out the route is very handy for some of London's best bars South of the river.


Still, not my idea of a pub crawl, though. I hope they're allowed to stay open 24h to serve the fucking delusional fools.


----------



## clicker (Sep 14, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I follow some craft beer people on Twitter who are pointing out the route is very handy for some of London's best bars South of the river.


must admit my first thought on looking at that map was, its a bloody good pub crawl route. I reckon a few will be MIA by this afternoon.


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## Thaw (Sep 14, 2022)

The back of the queue is currently outside the Premier Inn at County Hall. Next to the office so I went for a gawk.


----------



## Cid (Sep 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> Has the world gone completely, utter fucking bonkers?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yep, agree - the orientation of that map is an absolute disgrace and an insult to the queen.


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 14, 2022)

I bet Guys and St Thomas NHS Trust are fucking jubilant about that queue. Still not far to go when the inevitable fainting/sunstroke/heart attacks happen.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 14, 2022)

Thaw said:


> The back of the queue is currently outside the Premier Inn at County Hall. Next to the office so I went for a gawk.



While that's obviously ridiculous it's, what, about an eighth of the total they've laid out there? The Mail had better be rallying its readers if they want to get to Southwark Park.


----------



## clicker (Sep 14, 2022)

Thaw said:


> The back of the queue is currently outside the Premier Inn at County Hall. Next to the office so I went for a gawk.


I was staying there a couple of weeks ago. We queued up outside too , but due to a really disorganised and early morning fire drill.
The queues not _that_ bad yet then. I can't believe people are going to start queuing from Bermondsey. Which means they probably will.


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

I'm hoping to meet up with some mates on the south Bank on Saturday to celebrate my 50th. Is that going to be an utterly fucking stupid idea? Or is it going to be inspired as I bounce off lampposts singing disrespectful songs about her Majesty at 6pm?


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

This country is utterly fucking mad, by the way.


----------



## girasol (Sep 14, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> I follow some craft beer people on Twitter who are pointing out the route is very handy for some of London's best bars South of the river.


Great opportunity for the entrepreneurs out there to sell food/drink (beers included, obvs), or even drugs , to people queueing up.


----------



## clicker (Sep 14, 2022)

tommers said:


> I'm hoping to meet up with some mates on the south Bank on Saturday to celebrate my 50th. Is that going to be an utterly fucking stupid idea? Or is it going to be inspired as I bounce off lampposts singing disrespectful songs about her Majesty at 6pm?


Going to the South Bank is _never_ a stupid idea. Just don't join the wrong queue for the bar. Happy 50th in advance 🎂.


----------



## clicker (Sep 14, 2022)

girasol said:


> Great opportunity for the entrepreneurs out there to sell food/drink (beers included, obvs), or even drugs, to people queueing up.


There's an old guy near Tate Modern who'll tell you a joke for a pound. You give him 3 'things' to be in the joke. He could cheer them up....


----------



## girasol (Sep 14, 2022)

I'm thinking of going for a wander, take some photos and just soak in the atmosphere.  But I'm now wondering if passers by will actually be allowed access to the area?  It occurs to me that it might be a "queuers only allowed" situation along the river, barriers and very tight security.  Anyway, I might still go and see what happens.  I never forgot going to Diana's flower graveyard - it was nuts.

In this instance, the queue itself will become the tourist attraction.  Very performance artsy!


----------



## T & P (Sep 14, 2022)

Can I borrow someone's car for a couple of hours?


----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

girasol said:


> I'm thinking of going for a wander, take some photos


Make a video, like Godard...


----------



## Thaw (Sep 14, 2022)

girasol said:


> I'm thinking of going for a wander, take some photos and just soak in the atmosphere.  But I'm now wondering if passers by will actually be allowed access to the area?  It occurs to me that it might be a "queuers only allowed" situation along the river, barriers and very tight security.  Anyway, I might still go and see what happens.  I never forgot going to Diana's flower graveyard - it was nuts.
> 
> In this instance, the queue itself will become the tourist attraction.  Very performance artsy!


 There are some crash barriers to stop you mowing them down in your car but you're able to walk amongst them. Although the bit I looked at is pedestrianised anyway. There are loads of stewards.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 14, 2022)

Just on the BBC,  reporter to youngish child
"Can you imagine having a job for 70 years?"
Me (shouting at the telly): "He'll be lucky to have a fucking job at all!"

I have become Aggrieved of Maidenhead!! Time to turn to Netflix


----------



## Raheem (Sep 14, 2022)

The Independent currently has someone waving as its top story.


----------



## Cloo (Sep 14, 2022)

Fuck,  I wanted to go to Tate Britain at the weekend, is the queue going to make that difficult? Or will they have shifted her Maj by then?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

Cloo said:


> Fuck,  I wanted to go to Tate Britain at the weekend, is the queue going to make that difficult? Or will they have shifted her Maj by then?




It’s liable to be a fucking nightmare that side of river.

It’s the Japanese style market at kings cross this weekend and I’m still not sure if it’ll be cancelled out of respect or to fucking busy to bother


----------



## newbie (Sep 14, 2022)

They're telling queuers to bring portable mobile phone chargers. I have a vision of daily hate readers clutching 3 pin wallwarts.
So yeah, business opportunity.


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

tommers said:


> I'm hoping to meet up with some mates on the south Bank on Saturday to celebrate my 50th. Is that going to be an utterly fucking stupid idea? Or is it going to be inspired as I bounce off lampposts singing disrespectful songs about her Majesty at 6pm?


Hahahaah. Oh fuck.  This is going to be brilliant.


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Er...just look at a still image of the box?


----------



## T & P (Sep 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Er...just look at a still image of the box?



Hoping the coffin's lid might start to rise...


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Center Parcs playing an absolute blinder; bonuses all round?


----------



## Plumdaff (Sep 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Er...just look at a still image of the box?



Do you have to wait outside your neighbour's house for 11 hours before slowly walking through your front room for the real Respectful Grief experience?


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 14, 2022)

Plumdaff said:


> Do you have to wait outside your neighbour's house for 11 hours before slowly walking through your front room for the real Respectful Grief experience?


You can get the VR headset version, too.


----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

girasol said:


> Grumpy Charles is hilarious.  Just like so many grumpy old men - Victor Meldrew cames to mind . Desk tantrums - I hope they become a regular thing.  Looking forward to seeing what he comes up and the reactions that will follow.


We could do with some swearing though. That'd really go down badly.


----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

girasol said:


> Great opportunity for the entrepreneurs out there to sell food/drink (beers included, obvs), or even drugs , to people queueing up.


Got this yesterday from the BFI.

'We’re deeply saddened by the loss of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

From Wednesday 14 September, Her Majesty will lie in state at Westminster Hall for five days with a substantial number of people anticipated to pay their respects. The South Bank will play an important part in the queue management, and the BFI will be supporting this.

*BFI Southbank will be open 24 hours a day from today until 06:00 on Monday 19 September. Our coffee bar and restaurant will be open throughout, and our toilet facilities will be available via The Riverfront entrance for the comfort of those queuing.* We’ll also be screening a selection of films featuring Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II along South Bank by Waterloo Bridge.'


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 14, 2022)

has anyone mentioned the conspiracy that they switch the coffins over during the flight heard about it earlier 

if you look when they loaded the casket it had a sticker placed on the box

and when it was offloaded it was missing 

so everyone is waving at an empty box


----------



## AmateurAgitator (Sep 14, 2022)

Serge Forward said:


> Have we had this yet?



What a pathetic, bootlicking bellend he is.


----------



## T & P (Sep 14, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> has anyone mentioned the conspiracy that they switch the coffins over during the flight heard about it earlier
> 
> if you look when they loaded the casket it had a sticker placed on the box
> 
> ...









'Indyyyy....!'


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> has anyone mentioned the conspiracy that they switch the coffins over during the flight heard about it earlier
> 
> if you look when they loaded the casket it had a sticker placed on the box
> 
> ...




Did they drop into the the sea or bomb Stoke with it?


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

there is absolutely no way she is in that coffin.


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

I've not watched TV for a few days. Just turned on ITV and they are interviewing a grief counsellor. 🤣


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 14, 2022)

tommers said:


> I've not watched TV for a few days. Just turned on ITV and they are interviewing a grief counsellor. 🤣


To be fair, I’m sure the whole thing has brought up a lot of feelings for people who have lost loved ones.  But the tv companies could help by *not showing 24 hour coverage of a fucking coffin!*


----------



## Numbers (Sep 14, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> is it me or the more you look it the more you see ken Livingston


Brian May for me.


----------



## elbows (Sep 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> Has the world gone completely, utter fucking bonkers?
> 
> (As of Wednesday morning)


Thats a plan showing how long the queue logistics are setup to be, not how long the queue had already gotten.

Apparently the queue had reached Westminster bridge when this BBC article was written not so long ago:









						Queen's lying-in-state: How long was the queue?
					

Queues have stretched along the banks of the River Thames as people waited to pay their respects.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 14, 2022)

It is what she would have wanted...


----------



## Wilf (Sep 14, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> I think it’s brilliant that they actually considered telling people already staying in their properties to fuck off and come back the next day.
> 
> This is what happens when alcohol is served at management meetings.


You also wonder why, with an ailing 96 year old, they didn't y'know, think about it beforehand. 

This is what a google search throws up first if you put in 'management, functions':


> At the most fundamental level, management is a discipline that consists of a set of five general functions: *planning, organizing, staffing, leading and controlling*. These five functions are part of a body of practices and theories on how to be a successful manager.



Surprised the MBA courses don't throw in 'thinking straight amidst national hysteria' as a key function.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> Still, not my idea of a pub crawl, though. I hope they're allowed to stay open 24h to serve the fucking delusional fools.


'_Yeah, this meal deal has actually got a bit of ERII magic cloud sprinkled on it. And just a respectful £72, for each year of her reign'_.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 14, 2022)

Turned the telly on earlier and got Good Morning Britain.  The first words I heard were '_but apparently, the queen *did *like garlic'_.


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Sep 14, 2022)

As a loyal BBC Breakfast watcher, I was idly wondering how Phil and Holly were covering the events of the week. Not curious enough to actually watch it though.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 14, 2022)

Buddy Bradley said:


> As a loyal BBC Breakfast watcher


Oh, so you don’t believe owls have legs?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 14, 2022)

Sue said:


> We’ll also be screening a selection of *films featuring Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II* along South Bank by Waterloo Bridge.'



Betty does Balmoral? Nympho Nonagenarians?


----------



## extra dry (Sep 14, 2022)

Sue said:


> Got this yesterday from the BFI.
> 
> 'We’re deeply saddened by the loss of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
> 
> ...


just in case you forget while you are there. right.  what if the movies trigger someone too much?


----------



## extra dry (Sep 14, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Turned the telly on earlier and got Good Morning Britain.  The first words I heard were '_but apparently, the queen *did *like garlic'_.


Oh mon Dieu


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 14, 2022)

they're setting up a viewing area in Hyde Park, which for now consists of loads of food trucks and a lot of zero hours kids in hi-viz. like a mini festival with no people. 
and there seem to be helpers ready to direct tourists fucking everywhere, right the way to Paddington, who currently are just getting in the way as it doesn't seem any busier than usual.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 14, 2022)

extra dry said:


> Oh mon Dieu


I think I also saw that princeling harry won't be able to wear his military kecks at the funeral or one of the other 73 constitutionally significant sites they are trawling his mother's corpse around.  

Driver: '_yeah, we are just pulling up now, are the fridges round the back?  There's a few mourners here already, have we had a ruling on whether you are can cure scrofula by diving on the bonnet?'._


----------



## extra dry (Sep 14, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> has anyone mentioned the conspiracy that they switch the coffins over during the flight heard about it earlier
> 
> if you look when they loaded the casket it had a sticker placed on the box
> 
> ...


after watching too many bond movies is there a bomb in the coffin?


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

extra dry said:


> after watching too many bond movies is there a bomb in the coffin?


To take out half the world's heads of state? Think that's a Gerard Butler one. 

Eta And it's the PM and lots of shooting outside Westminster Abbey or St Paul's or something. And no, I’ve no idea why I watched it either.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 14, 2022)

What I am concerned about was that the story of our island race was being told adequately by the Wagatha Chrisitie trial.  Now these royalist death chant interlopers have inserted a different narrative, a narrative of one who would never hurl her phone into the North Sea, to hide evidence - for example her husband's murder of lady Di).  Strange days indeed.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

tommers said:


>




I’m sorry what.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 14, 2022)

girasol said:


> Great opportunity for the entrepreneurs out there to sell food/drink (beers included, obvs), or even drugs , to people queueing up.



The entrepreneurs have already started - On another board, some not very poor tourist is getting rather irate after being told that the £1500 he paid for his family of eight to "Skip the Line" is very likely to be a bit of a scam..!


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> I’m sorry what.


I think if you read their responses to the tweet it might not be entirely serious


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> I’m sorry what.


West Grinstead


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 14, 2022)

extra dry said:


> after watching too many bond movies is there a bomb in the coffin?



Liz Truss getting extra sneaky


just say she tested positive for covid on the day of the funeral


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> I’m sorry what.


I know right?  #whataclubwhatanethos  leading the way.


----------



## tommers (Sep 14, 2022)

thing is Prem teams have a wide array of surveillance equipment in their stadia and do they do this? Well yes, they probably do, but not openly.  That's the point.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> I think if you read their responses to the tweet it might not be entirely serious



After the McDonald’s closing announcement I cannot tell what’s real anymore with this stuff


----------



## not a trot (Sep 14, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> Liz Truss getting extra sneaky
> 
> 
> just say she tested positive for covid on the day of the funeral



Imagine if she or BoJo had tested positive last Wednesday.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 14, 2022)

Johnson would of more than likely still visited the queen

but liz has history of wanting to abolish the monarchy

she just got lucky on the first attempt


the funeral could take out the rest of them


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> West Grinstead


It’s near Horsham… or is it?


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> Can I borrow someone's car for a couple of hours?



"QUEUE WANKERS" - dooo iiiiitttt


----------



## T & P (Sep 14, 2022)

Those planning to join the queue might find this live queue tracker handy...


----------



## petee (Sep 14, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> To be fair, a lot of those jobs simply aren’t going to exist any more. I expect a lot of them will be redeployed to other duties like lackeys to William, but redundancies were inevitable.
> 
> They could have waited until after Monday to announce them though.



i have no idea how it works: is the staff attached to the building or to the employer? do (some of) charles' staff go with him to the palace and will william bring (some of) his staff to his new digs? do elizabeth's employees get pensioned or will charles keep some of them on? 

it was the second bit i was thinking of too, but i also wonder if it's a "i'm firing you all but will rehire some of you" siituation.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 14, 2022)

petee said:


> i have no idea how it works: is the staff attached to the building or to the employer? do (some of) charles' staff go with him to the palace and will william bring (some of) his staff to his new digs? do elizabeth's employees get pensioned or will charles keep some of them on?
> 
> it was the second bit i was thinking of too, but i also wonder if it's a "i'm firing you all but will rehire some of you" siituation.



Afaik they are attached to the royal household which has now folded into Monarch #1 household, as such the positions under Charles household #2 become redundant - though as they are employed by the Royal household (overall organisation) other roles will be looked for under that umbrella org.

The actual domestic staff will be employed by the house and presumably if this is no longer occupied as much will be wound down a little but again positions elsewhere may be available. 

Its much as a standard organisation and its offices really, mostly its all just going through the motions and giving the usual "your valuable team members want to move to Scunthorpe and away from Slough now its not in use" guff.


It says in the various articles reporting it that positions within the organisation will be looked for those made redundant.


----------



## Epona (Sep 14, 2022)

Centre Parks have completely lost their minds, haven't they?

Firstly telling guests they would close on Monday and everyone would have to leave (although could leave their stuff in their paid for accommodation until their return).
Now relented and said people can stay, but they will have to stay inside their lodges and not go outside.  What are they going to do, lock people in their accommodation?  Shoot people who set foot outside the door?

This has to be one of the most bizarre things I've heard yet (and there is a lot of competition).


----------



## two sheds (Sep 14, 2022)

Wilf said:


> What I am concerned about was that the story of our island race was being told adequately by the Wagatha Chrisitie trial.  Now these royalist death chant interlopers have inserted a different narrative, a narrative of one who would never hurl her phone into the North Sea, to hide evidence - for example her husband's murder of lady Di).  Strange days indeed.


You've been very slack on the Wagatha Christie thread, I've noticed that - just no staying power


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

Epona said:


> Centre Parks have completely lost their minds, haven't they?
> 
> Firstly telling guests they would close on Monday and everyone would have to leave (although could leave their stuff in their paid for accommodation until their return).
> Now relented and said people can stay, but they will have to stay inside their lodges and not go outside.  What are they going to do, lock people in their accommodation?  Shoot people who set foot outside the door?
> ...


I'd like to think that their whole business model will collapse as people with their finger over the "book now" button hesitate and then decide against with the nagging doubt in the back of their mind that their dream holiday in one of their sheds in wood might be destroyed by the imminent demise of old sausage fingers!


----------



## pogofish (Sep 14, 2022)

brogdale said:


> I'd like to think that their whole business model will collapse as people with their finger over the "book now" button hesitate and then decide against with the nagging doubt in the back of their mind that their dream holiday in one of their sheds in wood might be destroyed by the imminent demise of old sausage fingers!



Other boards are currently alive with (mainly) American potential tourists posing questions along the likes of - We want to come to London, Cotswold, Edinburg and Scotland next summer but will the Coronation mess-up our plans? Does anyone know?”


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 14, 2022)

Cid said:


> Yep, agree - the orientation of that map is an absolute disgrace and an insult to the queen.




For DotCommunist x


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 14, 2022)

This queue thing is fucking mental. Sitting out overnight in the rain to shuffle past a box. The dead corpse inside never even gave a toss you existed. They interviewed someone saying she felt very personally that the Queen was like a grandmother to her. Lunatic.


----------



## Hollis (Sep 14, 2022)

The  BBC queue tracker is quite hypnotic.. might have to set the alarm for 3am to see where the endpoint is..


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 14, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> This queue thing is fucking mental. Sitting out overnight in the rain to shuffle past a box. The dead corpse inside never even gave a toss you existed. They interviewed someone saying she felt very personally that the Queen was like a grandmother to her. Lunatic.


With all the black bunting and 4wds it looks like an ISIS victory parade


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 14, 2022)

Imagine if the Queen had died during the time Number 6 was staying at Center Parcs, Port Merrion. They'd have had to let him escape. Just for a day, then one of those inflatable translucent prison orbs would have been released by Farage on the beach. Filmed by a praying Dan Wootton


----------



## RubyToogood (Sep 14, 2022)

T & P said:


> Those planning to join the queue might find this live queue tracker handy...



Good grief. I was at Bankside earlier and there were blue tabarded marshalls leaning on the river railings at regular intervals looking very bored. Despite having the name of a security firm on their tabards they all looked extremely weedy and unfit, and as though they'd just been rounded up from Blackfriars job centre.

The queue has now actually reached them. Insanity.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 14, 2022)

I'm not daft I'm going to stand outside our house all night until the queue reaches me


----------



## brogdale (Sep 14, 2022)

RubyToogood said:


> Good grief. I was at Bankside earlier and there were blue tabarded marshalls leaning on the river railings at regular intervals looking very bored. Despite having the name of a security firm on their tabards they all looked extremely weedy and unfit, and as though they'd just been rounded up from Blackfriars job centre.
> 
> The queue has now actually reached them. Insanity.


At this rate of growth, I reckon the credulous horde will reach Crossness main sewage outfall by about 5am.


----------



## friedaweed (Sep 14, 2022)

5.04


----------



## keybored (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

Of course some people just like going to funerals - chasing hearses the way others chase fire engines.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 14, 2022)

It's a shame that they've found the perfect way to round up all the royalists at a time when there's not even a civil war on.


----------



## Hollis (Sep 14, 2022)

Some interesting data coming in from the queue tracker:  queue was stuck on 2.3 miles long for most of the evening.  Now gone out to 2.4 miles at 9.30 pm.


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 14, 2022)




----------



## Sue (Sep 14, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> It's a shame that they've found the perfect way to round up all the royalists at a time when there's not even a civil war on.


What was that TV programme years ago that was (IIRC) of the 'Wrong but Wromantic'/'Right but Repulsive' school?


----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 14, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> This queue thing is fucking mental. Sitting out overnight in the rain to shuffle past a box. The dead corpse inside never even gave a toss you existed. They interviewed someone saying she felt very personally that the Queen was like a grandmother to her. Lunatic.


It is, but in the 80’s, they put Charles and Dianas wedding presents on display and my mother made me queue with her for hours to see them. My dad refused to do it. All that time to look at friggin bathrobes with crests embroidered on them. Even mum agreed it was boring, but really what did she expect? Completely bizarre. it was all, 'admire the rich folks things, you peasants!'.


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Sep 14, 2022)

tommers said:


> This country is utterly fucking mad, by the way.



All countries are mad, they're just mad in their own way.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 14, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> It's a shame that they've found the perfect way to round up all the royalists at a time when there's not even a civil war on.



From the livestream it's not possible to be certain that those leaving the building after paying their respects aren't being led away into some giant underground factory and converted into cybermen.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 14, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> This queue thing is fucking mental.


Yes. They'll queue all night also just to be the first to buy something that will be available in miilions, like a new version of windows or a cabbage doll etc.

It's marketing. 

While some are saying "show respect - think of the family" while it is the family which is milking this for all its worth.

Meanwhile the politicians have given their personal oath of loyalty to the person of the king, like the Wehrmacht had to for Hitler.

Hows it all done? Through the media, of course. Their only source of orientation and information.

The far right increased in the 1930s with the help of the Daily Mail. When foreign policy changed and war with Germany was part of it, the Daily Mail was told to change its policy because Moselys supporters would support the Nazis.

Daily Mail changed policy and then, lo and behold, support for the fascists sunk rapidly. It wasn't Cable Street.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 14, 2022)

Another loony on TV saying as she went past the box she felt a connection and spoke to the Queen’s dead body. What did she say? "Thanks". 

There have surely never been as many Help for Heroes hoodies in central London. Some army grunt from Hull said he had to be there "she was the gaffer".


----------



## Sweet FA (Sep 14, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> powerful. moving.
> 
> View attachment 342565


Gilliam vibes.


----------



## emanymton (Sep 14, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> From the livestream it's not possible to be certain that those leaving the building after paying their respects aren't being led away into some giant underground factory and converted into cybermen.


That would be an Improvement.


----------



## donkyboy (Sep 15, 2022)

crazy









						Woman with royal tattoos says Queen 'played role of grandmother' as she waits to see coffin
					

Westminster Hall has opened its doors for mourners to visit the Queen's coffin. One woman waiting in line for her moment with the late monarch has dedicated her arm to the royal family in the way of tattoos.




					news.sky.com


----------



## albionism (Sep 15, 2022)

.


----------



## albionism (Sep 15, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Wonderful. An utter classic.



You know what they've gone and done? they've mistakenly used this image here
from when someone pranked their office by switching the Queen's face with
Alex Ferguson during the last Jubilee. Same dress, same brooch, same crown. D'oh !








						Lad Decorates Office With Picture Of Queen Face-Swapped With Sir Alex Ferguson, Nobody’s Noticed Yet
					

"My office wants us to decorate our desks for the jubilee..."




					www.sportbible.com


----------



## Ming (Sep 15, 2022)

Cid said:


> Yep, agree - the orientation of that map is an absolute disgrace and an insult to the queen.


Is it shaped like a knob?


----------



## Humberto (Sep 15, 2022)

Ming said:


> Is it shaped like a knob?


 You've seen the plans?


----------



## Ming (Sep 15, 2022)

Humberto said:


> You've seen the plans?


Seen them? I designed them but they wouldn't go forward with the project because they thought the comedy spunk and pyramid tits were a bit much.


----------



## Humberto (Sep 15, 2022)

Ming said:


> Seen them? I designed them but they wouldn't go forward with the project because they thought the comedy spunk and pyramid tits were a bit much.


You don't deserve Asda chips on Monday.


----------



## Humberto (Sep 15, 2022)

Neither Asda cafe nor Mcain or own brand shall pass


----------



## Ming (Sep 15, 2022)

Humberto said:


> You don't deserve Asda chips on Monday.


You can't get decent chips in Canada unfortunately. Asda oven chips would be a blessing. 

But while saying that I'm definitely going to mark the event, as I'll be recovering from a night shift with an 8hr time difference. 

I'm going to try the impossible. An extreme challenge wank the like of which has never been attempted before. 

I'm going to attempt to find an erotic element to Maggie's send off. I'm going to attempt to wank off to the Queen's (bless her) funeral.


----------



## editor (Sep 15, 2022)

T & P said:


> Those planning to join the queue might find this live queue tracker handy...



It's 1.40am and the queue is 2.9 miles.


----------



## Epona (Sep 15, 2022)

Ming said:


> You can't get decent chips in Canada unfortunately. Asda oven chips would be a blessing.
> 
> But while saying that I'm definitely going to mark the event, as I'll be recovering from a night shift with an 8hr time difference.
> 
> ...



I can't imagine anything about the situation that would provide enough erotic interest, but good luck with that!


----------



## Ming (Sep 15, 2022)

Epona said:


> I can't imagine anything about the situation that would provide enough erotic interest, but good luck with that!


That's why it's a challenge wank. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Wish me luck.


----------



## Epona (Sep 15, 2022)

Ming said:


> That's why it's a challenge wank. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Wish me luck.
> 
> View attachment 342798



The spacesuit will certainly add a level of difficulty to the endeavour


----------



## Ming (Sep 15, 2022)

Ming said:


> That's why it's a challenge wank. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Wish me luck.
> 
> View attachment 342798


Please no one say pics or it didn't happen.


----------



## Ming (Sep 15, 2022)

Epona said:


> The spacesuit will certainly add a level of difficulty to the endeavour


Makes it feel like someone else.


----------



## Epona (Sep 15, 2022)

Ming said:


> Please no one say pics or it didn't happen.



Fuck no, that's the other side of the line for sure!  I fervently hope there are no pics!


----------



## Ming (Sep 15, 2022)

Epona said:


> Fuck no, that's the other side of the line for sure!  I fervently hope there are no pics!


Me wanking (with some difficulty judging by the subject matter) in a space suit? Me neither. 

Well maybe some for the private collection.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 15, 2022)

Erm...maybe I’m missing something here, but...🤷🏻‍♂️


----------



## rubbershoes (Sep 15, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Erm...maybe I’m missing something here, but...🤷🏻‍♂️




It's what Snoopy would have wanted


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 15, 2022)

People are going to lose their shit when they find out Paddington isn't real.


----------



## killer b (Sep 15, 2022)

'The Queen' was kind of fictional too tbf


----------



## brogdale (Sep 15, 2022)

killer b said:


> 'The Queen' was kind of fictional too tbf


Maybe these farmers think a little more deeply than we may suppose?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 15, 2022)

killer b said:


> 'The Queen' was kind of fictional too tbf


She is now.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 15, 2022)

Just watching the live feed and some Catholic woman did the crossey self ting to the coffin.

To the former head of the CoE.

The Queen to rose from the dead in zombie anger and ate her brain. They'll cover it up as if it never happened though.

I remember David Blaine and the live feed of him in his box. After viewing the queen's show I feel I was unduly harsh on him now.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 15, 2022)

Fireball in night sky was meteor, experts say
					

The "shooting star" was reported by hundred of people across Scotland and Northern Ireland.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




I’m waiting for this to be described as the queen waving goodbye to her loyal subjects


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 15, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Fireball in night sky was meteor, experts say
> 
> 
> The "shooting star" was reported by hundred of people across Scotland and Northern Ireland.
> ...


this is Elon Musk's space trash falling back down to earth.


----------



## Sue (Sep 15, 2022)

Discussion on French TV this morning. Someone made the point that people were horribly affected everywhere in the UK and used footage of Rangers fans singing 'God Save the Queen/King' at a match the other day to prove their point. Said they found it very movng. Ffs.


----------



## 2hats (Sep 15, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> this is Elon Musk's space trash falling back down to earth.


Current trajectory determination from reductions of observations is inconsistent. Apparent motion also appears a tad too high for LEO reentry.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 15, 2022)

is that what he told you to say?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 15, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Fireball in night sky was meteor, experts say
> 
> 
> The "shooting star" was reported by hundred of people across Scotland and Northern Ireland.
> ...


If the Martians invade, who will protect us?


----------



## 2hats (Sep 15, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> is that what he told you to say?





Spoiler: Way off-topic.



The only candidate, failed Starlink-4653 (53615/22104AD), is not consistent with reports of a 'fireball' travelling from south to west (and is too low inclination with the pass about 40 minutes later than the fireball event anyway).
​


> STARLINK-4653
> 1 53615U 22104AD  22256.86116362  .15877752  12045-4  22984-2 0  9994
> 2 53615  53.2076 202.6081 0018184 112.8601 276.6062 16.33314633  2706


----------



## Gromit (Sep 15, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> If the Martians invade, who will protect us?


The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one they say.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 15, 2022)

.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 15, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> If the Martians invade, who will protect us?



This guy!!



Gromit said:


> The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one they say.


BUT STILL THEY CAME!!!


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## not a trot (Sep 15, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> View attachment 342835
> This guy!!
> 
> 
> BUT STILL THEY CAME!!!



Done alright for for an ex Teaboy.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 15, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Done alright for for an ex Teaboy.


I mean we're fucked either way, but still somehow less fucked now than Johnson isn't PM.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 15, 2022)

have you noticed who's taken over


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 15, 2022)

Gromit said:


> The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one they say.


And still she's dead


----------



## tommers (Sep 15, 2022)

2hats said:


> Spoiler: Way off-topic.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


So what was it then? Was it her Majesty?


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 15, 2022)

tommers said:


> So what was it then? Was it her Majesty?


Yes. Yes it was. 
She's back and now it's personal.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 15, 2022)

(((( guinea pigs ))))

:meep:


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 15, 2022)

Mourn hub   
Çhucky doing the ' king thing'.
Where do they fucking find them.


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 15, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> 5.04



I'd forgotten how good that film was.


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 15, 2022)

I thought everyone would like to see this _lovely _and touching portrait of the queen I saw recently in a shop window.


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 15, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Mourn hub
> Çhucky doing the ' king thing'.
> Where do they fucking find them.



they look under stones


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 15, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I thought everyone would like to see this _lovely _and touching portrait of the queen I saw recently in a shop window.
> 
> 
> View attachment 342851


that looms more like roland gift than it does the mouldering corpse


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 15, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Mourn hub
> Çhucky doing the ' king thing'.
> Where do they fucking find them.





tbf, the sort of person who will take leave from work and spend bare cash to come and stand around in London out of respect for a dead queen is never gonna be the full ticket.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 15, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Mourn hub
> Çhucky doing the ' king thing'.
> Where do they fucking find them.



Is that a portrait of Freddy Mercury?


----------



## nastyned (Sep 15, 2022)

Petition to rename it the QE Queue


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 15, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I thought everyone would like to see this _lovely _and touching portrait of the queen I saw recently in a shop window.
> 
> 
> View attachment 342851



Did the artist use that bird as a model?


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 15, 2022)

Pickman's model said:


> that looms more like roland gift than it does the mouldering corpse


Ya think? Sorry, can't really see that much resemblance myself


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 15, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Did the artist use that bird as a model?


Possibly


----------



## Pickman's model (Sep 15, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> Ya think? Sorry, can't really see that much resemblance myself


there isn't much. but it nonetheless looks more like the fine young cannibals' singer than it does the erstwhile queen


----------



## pogofish (Sep 15, 2022)

This ought to trigger somebody:


----------



## two sheds (Sep 15, 2022)

she does look regal though, born to it


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 15, 2022)

Unhinged, aye? Unhinged, is it? I'll give ye unhinged;


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 15, 2022)

Idris2002 said:


> Unhinged, aye? Unhinged, is it? I'll give ye unhinged;





Kings and Queens don’t ask, their entire life is spent making sure they don’t have to ask for anything. They just get it.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## killer b (Sep 15, 2022)

some fucking insanity from Ian Dunt, and the perfect answer


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 15, 2022)

two sheds said:


> View attachment 342866


Same here. Unless you add the words “blow” and “thanks” in the appropriate places.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 15, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Mourn hub
> Çhucky doing the ' king thing'.
> Where do they fucking find them.



that's the point. Actual people are in work. These ones are bit more special. And that's all they've got to go on. 
I feel sad for matey though. That was his one chance to shine and he fluffed his lines.  You don't get a second go.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 15, 2022)

MournHub. 

PMSL


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 15, 2022)

One thing that must haunt Charles is knowing he can't write a telegram for his mama


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## Santino (Sep 15, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> View attachment 342869
> 
> View attachment 342870
> 
> ...


I agree with this, but I also agree with the comments on this thread, which say that the queue (and this reaction to it) is evidence of a terminal servility in the British psyche. I think both are true.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 15, 2022)

Love to know what record they broke.
World's biggest ena sharples portrait?


----------



## Cadmus (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## Hilldweller (Sep 15, 2022)

Front page of RAC website


----------



## Sue (Sep 15, 2022)

France.


Calamity1971 said:


> Love to know what record they broke.
> World's biggest ena sharples portrait?


'Mural that looks fuck all like its subject' record?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 15, 2022)

Its 2023.William is on the throne. The funeral for Elizabeth went on so long Charles died before it ended. The queue to see his body was added to the one to see the queen and starts at Tebay services on the M6. Tmrw marks the 1st anniversary of the center parcs massacre.







© Alistair Green


----------



## Sue (Sep 15, 2022)

*'Uefa has opened disciplinary proceedings against Celtic after fans displayed anti-monarchy banners during the club's Champions League match against Shakhtar Donetsk.*
...
Meanwhile, Uefa said it would not take action Rangers for defying its rules by playing God Save the King before their 3-0 defeat to Napoli at Ibrox later on Wednesday evening.'

🤷‍♀️ 









						Uefa charge Celtic over anti-monarchy banners
					

The banners were displayed by a section of Celtic fans at the club's Champions League match in Warsaw.



					www.bbc.com


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 15, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> Did the artist use that bird as a model?
> 
> View attachment 342855


I quite like it. Last year my Christmas tree was flight themed. That bird would've looked good on one of the branches.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 15, 2022)

Happy toast is gammon baiting .


----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 15, 2022)

We've now reached QVC levels of filling space by relentlessly talking about nothing. This morning I put the telly on (I know, I know, what an idiot) to see Philip and Holly listen to someone ramble on about the meaning of the colours of a rainbow and how they relate to the Queen.


----------



## Cloo (Sep 15, 2022)

Some excellent replies to this too:



Gotta say, Twitter is really serving the excellent queue commentary!


----------



## Looby (Sep 15, 2022)

Sorry if we’ve had this already.


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 15, 2022)

Cloo said:


> Some excellent replies to this too:
> 
> 
> 
> Gotta say, Twitter is really serving the excellent queue commentary!



I've never been a fan of Twitter, it's always so nasty and depressing but since last Friday it's been golden.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 15, 2022)

Cloo said:


> Some excellent replies to this too:
> 
> 
> 
> Gotta say, Twitter is really serving the excellent queue commentary!



Queuedo


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 15, 2022)




----------



## two sheds (Sep 15, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


>


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 15, 2022)

'It's impossible to know what's going on in their minds'


----------



## Combustible (Sep 16, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> View attachment 342869



How quaintly British indeed


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 16, 2022)

Looby said:


> View attachment 342942
> Sorry if we’ve had this already.


Or they could have put her in one of the Elizabeth line tube carriages and she could shuttle along the line with all the mourners lining the station platforms along the route.


----------



## Santino (Sep 16, 2022)

Combustible said:


> How quaintly British indeed
> 
> 
> View attachment 342949


I think you'll find that OUR queue is very good-natured and eccentric.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 16, 2022)

Is someone going to tell him?


----------



## tommers (Sep 16, 2022)

The BBC just referred to the Dartford Crossing as "somewhere with particular relevance to the Queen".


----------



## tommers (Sep 16, 2022)

Would she go Dartford?


----------



## killer b (Sep 16, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Is someone going to tell him?



fwiw charles' suits are extremely well cut.


----------



## killer b (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## ska invita (Sep 16, 2022)

killer b said:


>


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 16, 2022)

i hope they shut the queue very suddenly in front of some people who have been there all night, 'sorry, you just missed out - gotta move the box'.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## prunus (Sep 16, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> i hope they shut the queue very suddenly in front of some people who have been there all night, 'sorry, you just missed out - gotta move the box'.



Presumably this has to happen, someone has to be at the front of the queue when they close?  Unless I guess they decide at a point that no-one further back than x place in the queue is going to make it in time, and tell everyone behind that to go away. That would the sensible way to do it. But there will still be someone right behind the cut off point who so nearly made it.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 16, 2022)

I don't think they plan to do it quite so suddenly! as you say, I think they will stop people queuing well in advance so anyone who queues does indeed get in.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 16, 2022)

TfL, taking their inspiration from the taliban, have banned busking, 









						TfL urged to end ban on busking on the Tube during national mourning
					

The body has closed all its pitches across the capital for the duration of the mourning period.




					www.standard.co.uk


----------



## killer b (Sep 16, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> TfL, taking their inspiration from the taliban, have banned busking,
> 
> 
> 
> ...


this is something I could happily get behind as a permanent restriction.


----------



## Combustible (Sep 16, 2022)

killer b said:


>



I see the DUP have wheeled out their leading theoretician.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 16, 2022)

The QE Queue is full, it's still a weekday, wtf will it be like tomorrow???


----------



## moochedit (Sep 16, 2022)

tommers said:


> The BBC just referred to the Dartford Crossing as "somewhere with particular relevance to the Queen".


Do they have a bet about who can say the most ridiculous thing?


----------



## SysOut (Sep 16, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Zing Tsjeng (@misszing)
> 
> 
> Brits in the queue for Berghain trying to look normal
> ...


Why Is Berghain So Hard To Get Into?
always learning


----------



## Petcha (Sep 16, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> The QE Queue is full, it's still a weekday, wtf will it be like tomorrow???
> 
> View attachment 342973



There's a thread for the Queue. Apparently people are queuing to join the Queue now it's been paused but it will be suspended for at least 6 hours. Can see it backing up to Essex at this point.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 16, 2022)

Fuck, The QE Queue is closed for now as it is at capacity, but people will still be arriving in Southwark Park, so where will those people go? In a queue for The Queue....


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 16, 2022)

Have we had "the Queen's yacht is a model of frugality" yet?


Also laughed at this one:


----------



## Gromit (Sep 16, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> TfL, taking their inspiration from the taliban, have banned busking,
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I heard a busker on LBC complaining that it meant 25% of his income gone for the period of the ban.

Part of me sympathises, part of me thinks well you chose busking and bad weather and state funerals and shit happens.
Gotta take the rough with the smooth or get a real job. Not a get to choose my own hours and do what I love job.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Sep 16, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Happy toast is gammon baiting .




I'm not even sure if this is meant to be some twee 'the kindly old spirit of the queen will be with them' thing or more of a 'the malicious evil spirit of the queen will haunt their every moment, like something out of a Ring-era Japanese horror film' thing.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 16, 2022)

Hilldweller said:


> Front page of RAC website


Fwiw, one of my housemates works in a RAC call centre - no day off on Monday, no day off in lieu, no extra pay, nothing. Pricks.


Sue said:


> *'Uefa has opened disciplinary proceedings against Celtic after fans displayed anti-monarchy banners during the club's Champions League match against Shakhtar Donetsk.*
> ...
> Meanwhile, Uefa said it would not take action Rangers for defying its rules by playing God Save the King before their 3-0 defeat to Napoli at Ibrox later on Wednesday evening.'
> 
> ...


I'd not seen those before, "sorry for your loss Michael Fagan" is inspired.


----------



## philosophical (Sep 16, 2022)

The queue for the queue is known by the ancient term the ‘mill around’ which has been set up at Surrey Quays shopping centre.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 16, 2022)

philosophical said:


> The queue for the queue is known by the ancient term the ‘mill around’ which has been set up at Surrey Quays shopping centre.




So glad I don’t live around there any more. Not that I could afford it now (and barely could twenty years ago)


----------



## Rob Ray (Sep 16, 2022)

"You smell that? That's the smell of patriotism that is. It's what she would have wanted."


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 16, 2022)

Have we had the pooing sculpture yet?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 16, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Fuck, The QE Queue is closed for now as it is at capacity, but people will still be arriving in Southwark Park, so where will those people go? In a queue for The Queue....


How exactly do they "close" the queue? Do they have guards in bearskin hats at the end of the queue saying "your not coming in here mate"?


----------



## SysOut (Sep 16, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> TfL, taking their inspiration from the taliban, have banned busking,
> 
> 
> 
> ...


And nobody minds, as long as they can talk about it - more or less what Chomsky says (?).


----------



## krink (Sep 16, 2022)

I'm ten pages behind so apologies if already posted


----------



## tommers (Sep 16, 2022)

krink said:


> I'm ten pages behind so apologies if already posted
> 
> View attachment 342984


We have but it's worth doing again. Just absolutely perfect.


----------



## clicker (Sep 16, 2022)

moochedit said:


> How exactly do they "close" the queue? Do they have guards in bearskin hats at the end of the queue saying "your not coming in here mate"?


The last person gets given one of them plastic 'Till Closed' signs to hold, just like in Aldi.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 16, 2022)

or the last person just gets told, 'can you tell anyone else who turns up the queue is closed? cheers mate'


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## steveseagull (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## contadino (Sep 16, 2022)

prunus said:


> Presumably this has to happen, someone has to be at the front of the queue when they close?  Unless I guess they decide at a point that no-one further back than x place in the queue is going to make it in time, and tell everyone behind that to go away. That would the sensible way to do it. But there will still be someone right behind the cut off point who so nearly made it.


I think the plan is to gradually increase the speed of the queue until it's a full on sprint past the box. The final moments before the box gets moved would be like a Benny Hill sketch.


----------



## A380 (Sep 16, 2022)

contadino said:


> I think the plan is to gradually increase the speed of the queue until it's a full on sprint past the box.


 Queue takes off.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 16, 2022)

just heading down to the queue now


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 16, 2022)

Hilariously disingenuous email from Tesco.com.


So they're closing all their stores out of respect ... except for the ones that might make a few bob off anyone who fancies an egg and cress sandwich as they watch the coffin go by


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## girasol (Sep 16, 2022)

So, are famous people really just jumping the queue?  Just seen that David Beckham has been...  If that's the case, that's very very naughty!  Off with their heads!


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 16, 2022)

David Beckham seems to have in fact joined the queue.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 16, 2022)

This lady deserves another post.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 16, 2022)

Apparently this the liver king  🤷‍♀️


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 16, 2022)

Is it me or is _what she would've wanted_ probably, for the first time in 90 years, a bit of a fucking break from the general public gawping at her?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 16, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Hilariously disingenuous email from Tesco.com.
> 
> View attachment 342997
> So they're closing all their stores out of respect ... except for the ones that might make a few bob off anyone who fancies an egg and cress sandwich as they watch the coffin go by


Has anyone tried to book a click & collect from one of those central London stores?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## Petcha (Sep 16, 2022)

Is it true that Charles has banned leaders flying in on private jets, does Air Force One count as this and they're all expected to take the Park n Ride?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 16, 2022)

brogdale said:


> View attachment 343023


Know thine audience


----------



## Petcha (Sep 16, 2022)

His son Harry and his wife (and their Netflix crew) flew in on a private jet of course, but that was pre-royal death. Although their timing is a little sus.


----------



## Petcha (Sep 16, 2022)

Ah yes, it is true









						If you're going to the Queen's funeral, please leave your private jets at home
					

They have also reportedly been stopped from using helicopters to get around while in the UK.




					metro.co.uk
				




That's be a hilarious bus to be on


----------



## Cloo (Sep 16, 2022)

The Twitter satire escalation keeps getting better


----------



## editor (Sep 16, 2022)

State of Green Park



















						In photos: Green Park, The Queen, huge crowds and thousands of flowers, Sept 2022
					

This is the bizarre sight in Green Park as thousands of people have descended to the central London park to leave floral tributes to The Queen.




					www.urban75.org


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 16, 2022)

editor said:


> State of Green Park
> 
> View attachment 343029
> 
> ...



“The Glastonbury of Grief”


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 16, 2022)

billy_bob said:


> Hilariously disingenuous email from Tesco.com.
> 
> View attachment 342997
> So they're closing all their stores out of respect ... except for the ones that might make a few bob off anyone who fancies an egg and cress sandwich as they watch the coffin go by


TBC are the stores closed early in the monrning? I like to do my shopping around 8am at my local express


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 16, 2022)

It’s going to be weird when Charles croaks in 10 years and there’s just going to be two blokes from GB news with a plastic rose  instead


----------



## T & P (Sep 16, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> It’s going to be weird when Charles croaks in 10 years and there’s just going to be two blokes from GB news with a plastic rose  instead


The weirdest bit being that GB News was still going in ten years' time.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 16, 2022)

editor said:


> State of Green Park
> 
> View attachment 343029
> 
> ...


You could have chucked that 30 quid bouquet at the local food bank and it would have done some good

Yep patronising but there you go


----------



## extra dry (Sep 16, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I thought everyone would like to see this _lovely _and touching portrait of the queen I saw recently in a shop window.
> 
> 
> View attachment 342851


Has a rather haunting quality


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 16, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> It’s going to be weird when Charles croaks in 10 years and there’s just going to be two blokes from GB news with a plastic rose  instead


They said this about ‘er HRH not so long back  after the baby Diana turbo grief . The Brits seem to revert to their ergonomic default far too readily


----------



## Rob Ray (Sep 16, 2022)

There'll always be a part of England that loves the boot rather than its wearer.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 16, 2022)

not-bono-ever said:


> They said this about ‘er HRH not so long back  after the baby Diana turbo grief . The Brits seem to revert to their ergonomic default far too readily



Yeah the royals turned to shit for a glorious few years but they've had some serious hard PR work over the last decade or so.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 16, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Have we had the pooing sculpture yet?
> 
> View attachment 342979


That complicated moment when you are  deeply hungover,  but manage to have a massive shit.


----------



## not a trot (Sep 16, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Yeah the royals turned to shit for a glorious few years but they've had some serious hard PR work over the last decade or so.


Thanks to James Fucking Bond and Paddington Bear.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 16, 2022)

oops


----------



## brogdale (Sep 16, 2022)

Is this the most reductive polling question ever?


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## friedaweed (Sep 16, 2022)

'You could feel the love everyone has for the Queen'
					

Kathryn Emery flew to the UK with her younger sister from Connecticut, especially to pay their respects to Queen Elizabeth ll.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				












						Cabinet ministers stand guard over Queen's coffin
					

The defence secretary and Scottish secretary take part in the vigil as the monarch lies in state.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				




The thing I don't get is most archers I know who hunt with a bow are very adept at ensuring that they put a wounded animal out of it's misery swift and fast or they wouldn't shoot it in the first place. How did this poor girl manage to make it outside with such qualified marsmen in the hall?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 16, 2022)

Go this guy.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 16, 2022)

Loving the Welsh. Beeb edited this out.


----------



## WhyLikeThis (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 16, 2022)

girasol said:


> So, are famous people really just jumping the queue?  Just seen that David Beckham has been...  If that's the case, that's very very naughty!  Off with their heads!


Yes, as others have pointed out, there's lots of anger that certain people are being afforded special privileges in a queue to see.... a queen.


----------



## ddraig (Sep 16, 2022)

painful








						King Charles III in Cardiff for first Wales visit as monarch
					

King Charles III extends his "heartfelt thanks for your kind words" following the Queen's death.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Epona (Sep 16, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> oops




Fucking Entertainer, aren't they the fundamentalist Christian toy shop that refuses to sell "pagan" stuff?  (Harry Potter merch was the thing that it came to a head over, iirc).

They can go fuck themselves with the bristly end of a witch's broomstick.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 16, 2022)

Epona said:


> Fucking Entertainer, aren't they the fundamentalist Christian toy shop that refuses to sell "pagan" stuff?  (Harry Potter merch was the thing that it came to a head over, iirc).
> 
> They can go fuck themselves with the bristly end of a witch's broomstick.




They don’t open on Sundays either. But they do treat their staff fairly well.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 16, 2022)

They don’t open on Sundays as they want their staff to have the time off


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 16, 2022)

There is nothing to stop "someone like Trump" becoming monarch if they happen to be next in line, you blistering fool.

You. Get. No. Choice.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 16, 2022)

Someone just now willingly joined the queue knowing (that according to estimate) they'll be in it until 6:30 pm tomorrow.

That's the reality we currently live in.

Brexit, Trump, Boris, Covid, The Queue.

The theory that we are living in a simulation isnt seeming quite as wacko to me as it used to.


----------



## WWWeed (Sep 16, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 16, 2022)

Guardian reporting ambulances have had to come out to 400 queue loons who fainted or otherwise got took ill.


----------



## scifisam (Sep 16, 2022)

bcuster said:


>




Is there more in there that says the Germans hate the Queen? The front page doesn't indicate it.


----------



## scifisam (Sep 16, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Someone has mentioned the Tower to Mr 4 takes.



Is he an undercover Reupiclian? Even the pic of Charles there makes it look like he mas a massive 80-s rocker ponytail.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 16, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Is there more in there that says the Germans hate the Queen? The front page doesn't indicate it.


DIE QUEEN 🔪 👸😡


----------



## Epona (Sep 16, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Is there more in there that says the Germans hate the Queen? The front page doesn't indicate it.



No, it's someone pretending (for comedic effect) to be ignorant about the meaning of the German sentence "Die Queen" which is just out of shot at the bottom of the front page of the magazine in what you posted, but visible if you click on it to go to the tweet


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 16, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> It’s going to be weird when Charles croaks in 10 years and there’s just going to be two blokes from GB news with a plastic rose  instead



I almost pity the news people who will have to come up with a fortnight's worth of rubbish about why we should all care that king miseryguts has died after serving his country loyally for nearly three whole years or however long old sausage paws lasts. 

But only almost.


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 16, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> I almost pity the news people who will have to come up with a fortnight's worth of rubbish about why we should all care that king miseryguts has died after serving his country loyally for nearly three whole years or however long old sausage paws lasts.
> 
> But only almost.



Already looking forward to the extra holiday though.


----------



## scifisam (Sep 17, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> DIE QUEEN 🔪 👸😡


Oh. Duh. Had my wrong language head on.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Oh. Duh. Had my wrong language head on.


There's a Worzel Gummidge/German royal family gag sloshing around somewhere awaiting liberation, but it's late so it'll have to be self-service


----------



## tommers (Sep 17, 2022)

Somebody has "lunged at the catafalque" apparently. 

Surprised that hasn't happened more often tbh.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

tommers said:


> Somebody has "*lunged at the catafalque*" apparently.


I expect that to be in UrbanDictionary within the hour and added to the Profanisaurus before daybreak 👍


----------



## bcuster (Sep 17, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Is there more in there that says the Germans hate the Queen? The front page doesn't indicate it.


It's cut off: the bottom says "Die Queen"...  haha, right?


----------



## SysOut (Sep 17, 2022)

bcuster said:


> the bottom says "Die Queen"


Like seeing in french "la police" and thinking it means Los Angeles police....


----------



## editor (Sep 17, 2022)

girasol said:


> So, are famous people really just jumping the queue?  Just seen that David Beckham has been...  If that's the case, that's very very naughty!  Off with their heads!


He gets some begrudging respect from me given that he queued for 12 hours like everyone else and didn't go for the celeb queue jump.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 17, 2022)

editor said:


> He gets some begrudging respect from me given that he queued for 12 hours like everyone else and didn't go for the celeb queue jump.


They're all ridiculous idiots. Except the footballer.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 17, 2022)

Is he desperate for a Knighthood?


----------



## DaphneM (Sep 17, 2022)

Raheem said:


> They're all ridiculous idiots. Except the footballer.


God bless you David Beckam


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 17, 2022)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 17, 2022)

Bloody fun sponges...


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 17, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> I almost pity the news people who will have to come up with a fortnight's worth of rubbish about why we should all care that king miseryguts has died after serving his country loyally for nearly three whole years or however long old sausage paws lasts.
> 
> But only almost.



Pretty sure you’ll be subjected to days of being told he discovered climate change even before Thatcher, and that he lovingly gardened Highgrove. But really, it will be pretty easy for them to shift the focus on to William and his family, thrust into duty at such tender ages etc.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 17, 2022)

.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 17, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Pretty sure you’ll be subjected to days of being told he discovered climate change even before Thatcher, and that he loving gardened Highgrove. But really, it will be pretty easy for them to shift the focus on to William and his family, thrust into duty at such tender ages etc.



I heard young William enjoys a good thrusting.


----------



## gosub (Sep 17, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> Another loony on TV saying as she went past the box she felt a connection and spoke to the Queen’s dead body. What did she say? "Thanks".
> 
> There have surely never been as many Help for Heroes hoodies in central London. Some army grunt from Hull said he had to be there "she was the gaffer".


From what I've heard, SSAFA are the better charity


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 17, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Oh. Duh. Had my wrong language head on.



Took me a while as well. I assume you know German, as after encountering the article a few million times it stops looking like the English word.


----------



## prunus (Sep 17, 2022)

Epona said:


> No, it's someone pretending (for comedic effect) to be ignorant about the meaning of the German sentence "Die Queen" which is just out of shot at the bottom of the front page of the magazine in what you posted, but visible if you click on it to go to the tweet



I don’t know, I think it must be at least partly a deliberate sly dig, as the actual German for ‘the queen” would be “die Königin“, and they must of course know what die means in English 🥸


----------



## Santino (Sep 17, 2022)

prunus said:


> I don’t know, I think it must be at least partly a deliberate sly dig, as the actual German for ‘the queen” would be “die Königin“, and they must of course know what die means in English 🥸


It's common in other languages too. In Dutch she was known as 'de Britse kween'.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 17, 2022)

scifisam said:


> Is there more in there that says the Germans hate the Queen? The front page doesn't indicate it.


It’s a joke.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 17, 2022)

bcuster said:


>






			die queen - Google Suche


----------



## SysOut (Sep 17, 2022)

bcuster said:


>


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 17, 2022)

Maidenhead Advertiser have gone full blown grieving!

It's funny being in Maidenhead when something royal happens. Though the town is part of the royal borough and all the civic stuff i.e. town hall, is here the town is so the poor relation to Windsor but people in Maidenhead like to pretend we're still part of it!!

"Oh now Kate and William have moved to the royal Borough maybe we'll see them in Maidenhead" No we fucking won't, for so many reasons!!


----------



## editor (Sep 17, 2022)

Raheem said:


> They're all ridiculous idiots. Except the footballer.


FYI: I still think he's ridiculous.


----------



## DaphneM (Sep 17, 2022)

I am against the prevalent sneering attitude


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 17, 2022)

is the queue starting to call to you


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 17, 2022)

editor said:


> FYI: I still think he's ridiculous.


Aye. He’s a hero for standing in the queue. Em, no. That’s not how you get to be a hero.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 17, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> "Oh now Kate and William have moved to the royal Borough maybe we'll see them in Maidenhead" No we fucking won't, for so many reasons!!



Are there any shops in The Head that sell strap-on dildos?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Are there any shops in The Head that sell strap-on dildos?


Are there any that _don't_?


----------



## nogojones (Sep 17, 2022)

I can't keep up. Have we had this?


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 17, 2022)

He's probably thinking he needs some good PR seeing as he's taken the coin from Qatar for the World Cup. I was surprised by the fact he seemed to be on his own. Billy no mates. By many accounts he does seem to be a decent bloke all things considered so maybe it is just what it is.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 17, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Are there any that _don't_?


Mothercare.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 17, 2022)

friedaweed said:


> How did this poor girl manage to make it outside with such qualified marsmen in the hall?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Mothercare.


Is there one? Werent they all closed in the UK when the firm went into administration?


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 17, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Is there one? Werent they all closed in the UK when the firm went into administration?


There’s still one in Maidenhead because there was demand for a shop that didn’t sell strap-ons.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> There’s still one in Maidenhead because there was demand for a shop that didn’t sell strap-ons.


Maidenhead still as new then


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 17, 2022)

(I don’t think I’ve ever been to Maidenhead).


----------



## tim (Sep 17, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> (I don’t think I’ve ever been to Maidenhead).


That won't save you from the bombs.


----------



## JimW (Sep 17, 2022)

Is Virgin's head office in Maidenhead?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

Forgot about this from a work newsletter 🙏


----------



## Gromit (Sep 17, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Forgot about this from a work newsletter 🙏
> 
> View attachment 343160


Her love of jewels and big houses were paid for by our grief and her taxes. So she weren't lying.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 17, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Are there any shops in The Head that sell strap-on dildos?


No....t yet!!


----------



## editor (Sep 17, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> Aye. He’s a hero for standing in the queue. Em, no. That’s not how you get to be a hero.


Good job I never made such a ridiculous claim then.


----------



## danny la rouge (Sep 17, 2022)

editor said:


> Good job I never made such a ridiculous claim then.


I wasn’t suggesting you were. I was agreeing with you. 

My reference was to the widespread opinion in public discourse, which I had assumed you were disapprovingly making reference to.


----------



## Chemical needs (Sep 17, 2022)

Gromit said:


> I heard a busker on LBC complaining that it meant 25% of his income gone for the period of the ban.
> 
> Part of me sympathises, part of me thinks well you chose busking and bad weather and state funerals and shit happens.
> Gotta take the rough with the smooth or get a real job. Not a get to choose my own hours and do what I love job.


Fuck off gromit.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 17, 2022)

Some bloke complaining his 7 year old niece got shoved out of the way in the 'incident ' (guardian, on phone, dunno how to link).  Moaning that she wants to get back in to see the box again because she's been up since 2.00 and waiting 12 hours. Erm, yeah, but you are the dickhead who subjected a 7 year old to a 12 hour queue. Ffs.


----------



## magneze (Sep 17, 2022)

That's literally the most exciting thing that's happened at the end of the queue and he's complaining.


----------



## magneze (Sep 17, 2022)

Is there any video of the incident?


----------



## two sheds (Sep 17, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Are there any shops in The Head that sell strap-on dildos?


I think you're going to have to get one off the internet


----------



## Epona (Sep 17, 2022)

magneze said:


> Is there any video of the incident?



I think they turned the camera doing the live stream away, which is probably what the above complaint is more about - they weren't on telly or summat.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 17, 2022)

magneze said:


> Is there any video of the incident?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 17, 2022)

got the love the 2 fella in front...


nothing to see here stay somber their cameras


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 17, 2022)

How lovely that these royalists want to share.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 17, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> (I don’t think I’ve ever been to Maidenhead).


It's got a great Protomartyr song named after it, which is inspired by the Patrick Hamilton novel Hangover Square:


Spoiler: don't click if you don't want to know what Maidenhead represents in Patrick Hamilton's 1941 novel



Throughout the novel, Maidenhead represents for George a semi-mythical new beginning, representing a picture of traditional Englishness in contrast to the seaminess of Earl's Court, and the place where he once spent an idyllic holiday with his sister Ellen, now long dead, who was one of the few people who had ever loved and understood him. However, in the closing pages of the novel the fallacy of that dream becomes apparent to George: it is just the same as everywhere else.


I don't think either the song or the book feature any royals attempting to buy strap-ons in Mothercare, or any other shop for that matter, but been a while since I read it so I might have forgotten.

Anyway, was actually coming to this thread to post DOUGLAS MURRAY NYT JIHAD:


Also, went in a newsagent today and saw the Guardian's front-page headline was about someone saying the visit of a Saudi prince was an insult to the Queen's memory, didn't bother reading any further though so I can't tell you the details about how the Queen spent her life fighting against... monarchies, I guess?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> went in a newsagent today and saw the Guardian's front-page headline was about someone saying the visit of a Saudi prince was an insult to the Queen's memory


Didn't catch the name of the writer, did you..?


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 17, 2022)

More random police cuntery 









						Police stop rollerblader near King Charles's car
					

Officers tackle a man to the ground shortly before the monarch's vehicle passes by.



					www.bbc.co.uk


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 17, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> How lovely that these royalists want to share.
> View attachment 343188



Rather amusingly, someone seems to be putting in opening bids of £666, but most are being trumped by bidders with a 1 feedback rating. I suspect those wishing to cash in won't be making the huge sums they're hoping for.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 17, 2022)




----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


>



I like that Rick so thoughtfully left his note in a clear plastic envelope so that his sage wisdom could be seen and recorded for the benefit of future generations


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 17, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


>




Who the fuck are these people? And how do they even manage to function in everyday life being this fucking pathetic? Some of this shit is genuinely alarming tbh.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 17, 2022)

Sickspittles


----------



## LDC (Sep 17, 2022)

Jesus fucking christ, just seen the BBC news for the first time since all this started. It really is bonkers. People are being really bonkers. Loads of it is endless whittering inane shit of, 'Oh, my mum once saw the Queen, it was a deeply moving event' or some such bollocks. Someone just said they weren't sure whether to bow or curtsy at the coffin so they'd do both.


----------



## LDC (Sep 17, 2022)

Yeah, I know it's complicated why people are going, people are complicated things, personal grief, sense of their own loss, whatever, etc etc. But ffs, LOONS EVERYWHERE.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 17, 2022)

LDC said:


> Someone just said they weren't sure whether to bow or curtsy at the coffin so they'd do both.



This is why Liz Truss invented the 'blurtsy'. It's like that little stumble you do when you're walking home shitface drunk at 3am and you trip over something that isn't there, but you do it while standing still.


----------



## Raheem (Sep 17, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


>




"You have taught us everything." 

If you're going to credit to her for things she never did, why stop there?

"Thank you, ma'am, for all the omelettes you cooked for me. Not to mention the orgasms."


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 17, 2022)

What next?  Someone farted in the queue?


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 17, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Who the fuck are these people? And how do they even manage to function in everyday life being this fucking pathetic? Some of this shit is genuinely alarming tbh.


Well, up until this point, it would appear that they have managed to function due to Queen Elizabeth guiding and protecting them. Fuck knows what'll happen now, hopefully Charles will be up to the job?


----------



## danski (Sep 17, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> Well, up until this point, it would appear that they have managed to function due to Queen Elizabeth guiding and protecting them. Fuck knows what'll happen now, hopefully Charles will be up to the job?


Or maybe, they could think for themselves and just fucking get on with it.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 17, 2022)

While I don’t know any of the Queue People I think (not being on social media I don’t get to find out peoples boring news) I’ve seen the sister-in-law of my old boss (an unusual surname and I knew that she lived in Cornwall) featured on a bbc news about queue people.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 17, 2022)




----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 17, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Sickspittles


Bluebloody idiots




Elpenor said:


> While I don’t know any of the Queue People I think (not being on social media I don’t get to find out peoples boring news) I’ve seen the sister-in-law of my old boss (an unusual surname and I knew that she lived in Cornwall) featured on a bbc news about queue people.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 17, 2022)

Do you think a funeral will stop this queueing? I'm having doubts.

This is rapidly becoming The Event from the Mitchell and Webb post apocalypse quiz show skit


----------



## moonsi til (Sep 17, 2022)

Has The Simpson predicted any of this lunacy?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 17, 2022)




----------



## T & P (Sep 17, 2022)

moonsi til said:


> Has The Simpson predicted any of this lunacy?


Probably not, due to the fact that to an outside observer such outcome was too obvious to merit writing it into a Simpsons episode.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 17, 2022)

pbsmooth said:


> He's probably thinking he needs some good PR seeing as he's taken the coin from Qatar for the World Cup. I was surprised by the fact he seemed to be on his own. Billy no mates. By many accounts he does seem to be a decent bloke all things considered so maybe it is just what it is.


He's very openly after a knighthood supposedly, keeps getting rebuffed and quite annoyed about that


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


>



Written by .... Rick...

🤔


Has to be....






😁


----------



## tommers (Sep 18, 2022)

I went out on the south Bank today and there are a lot of people in that queue and they are a wide range of people. It's not all tories in union jack hats, there are all sorts of people there. It's weird. Life is going on as normal but then there is a queue of people stood next to the river. An endless queue of people. All just. Queueing. I dunno. This characterisation of them as not normal doesn't sit true, there's something else going on. I don't know what it is. It's a really odd thing. A modern pilgrimage or something.


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

tommers said:


> I went out on the south Bank today and there are a lot of people in that queue and they are a wide range of people. It's not all tories in union jack hats, there are all sorts of people there. It's weird. Life is going on as normal but then there is a queue of people stood next to the river. An endless queue of people. All just. Queueing. I dunno. This characterisation of them as not normal doesn't sit true, there's something else going on. I don't know what it is. It's a really odd thing. A modern pilgrimage or something.




Mass hysteria perhaps..


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

I reckon the whole family would fit in there.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 18, 2022)

tommers said:


> I went out on the south Bank today and there are a lot of people in that queue and they are a wide range of people. It's not all tories in union jack hats, there are all sorts of people there. It's weird. Life is going on as normal but then there is a queue of people stood next to the river. An endless queue of people. All just. Queueing. I dunno. This characterisation of them as not normal doesn't sit true, there's something else going on. I don't know what it is. It's a really odd thing. A modern pilgrimage or something.


I think people have been persuaded that this is An Historic Event and by attending, they are being part of history. Something to tell the grandkids etc. FOMO does its job and boom — 1% of the country joins a queue. The media, who created this FOMO in the first place by reporting on the story above all else, day and night, feed on this reaction and create an attention spiral  

So The Queue is explained not so much by weird monarchist fervour but instead by peoples’ desire to be part of events.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 18, 2022)

kabbes said:


> I think people have been persuaded that this is An Historic Event and by attending, they are being part of history. Something to tell the grandkids etc. FOMO does its job and boom — 1% of the country joins a queue. The media, who created this FOMO in the first place by reporting on the story above all else, day and night, feed on this reaction and create an attention spiral
> 
> So The Queue is explained not so much by weird monarchist fervour but instead by peoples’ desire to be part of events.


People are weird. There was a chippy in coventry called "binley mega chippy" that featured in a tik tok video earlier this year and all these weirdos travelled from all over the country to take selfies outside the chippy and joining long queues to buy chips there


----------



## bcuster (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 18, 2022)

kabbes said:


> I think people have been persuaded that this is An Historic Event and by attending, they are being part of history. Something to tell the grandkids etc. FOMO does its job and boom — 1% of the country joins a queue. The media, who created this FOMO in the first place by reporting on the story above all else, day and night, feed on this reaction and create an attention spiral
> 
> So The Queue is explained not so much by weird monarchist fervour but instead by peoples’ desire to be part of events.


I've tried this here (not recently), but if you make a queue. People will join it. They dont even have to know what they are queueing for. Something happens at the end of the queue. That's what keeps them there.


----------



## BoatieBird (Sep 18, 2022)

In my village


----------



## kabbes (Sep 18, 2022)

BoatieBird said:


> In my village
> View attachment 343252


Er…


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 18, 2022)

QueenOfGoths said:


> View attachment 343143
> Maidenhead Advertiser have gone full blown grieving!
> 
> It's funny being in Maidenhead when something royal happens. Though the town is part of the royal borough and all the civic stuff i.e. town hall, is here the town is so the poor relation to Windsor but people in Maidenhead like to pretend we're still part of it!!
> ...


I initially misread that headline as 'sling'.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## danski (Sep 18, 2022)

tommers said:


> I went out on the south Bank today and there are a lot of people in that queue and they are a wide range of people. It's not all tories in union jack hats, there are all sorts of people there. It's weird. Life is going on as normal but then there is a queue of people stood next to the river. An endless queue of people. All just. Queueing. I dunno. This characterisation of them as not normal doesn't sit true, there's something else going on. I don't know what it is. It's a really odd thing. A modern pilgrimage or something.


Covid vaccine-5G chip-homing signal, to bring the zombies in, so they can download their mission when they pair with the Bluetooth beamed from the coffin


----------



## Looby (Sep 18, 2022)

My friends took this picture from a village bus stop during the jubilee. I’m so tempted to go for a drive today to see what they’ve done this time. 

Queen in her coffin, paddington? I hope they’ve done something. 😄


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 18, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> I've tried this here (not recently), but if you make a queue. People will join it. They dont even have to know what they are queueing for. Something happens at the end of the queue. That's what keeps them there.


My old man told me that, as a student in the 1950s, popular rag week pranks would be several of them doing just that - also standing, looking up and pointing at the sky until enough people were doing the same, then walking away and watching this thing perpetuate itself.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 18, 2022)

Looby said:


> My friends took this picture from a village bus stop during the jubilee. I’m so tempted to go for a drive today to see what they’ve done this time.
> 
> Queen in her coffin, paddington? I hope they’ve done something. 😄
> View attachment 343257


Philip has gone the full zombie


----------



## Santino (Sep 18, 2022)

Remember when all those people queued for ages to buy a bowl of cereal?


----------



## dessiato (Sep 18, 2022)

One thing I love about this village is that there’s no obvious fetishisation of the queen’s death.


----------



## LDC (Sep 18, 2022)

Looby said:


> My friends took this picture from a village bus stop during the jubilee. I’m so tempted to go for a drive today to see what they’ve done this time.
> 
> Queen in her coffin, paddington? I hope they’ve done something. 😄
> View attachment 343257



Sometimes it's a bit tempting to see how horrendous a thing you could make like that and get away with before someone was like, "Hang on, are you_ actually _taking the piss?" I bet that would happen _after_ the local newspaper first ran a piece as, 'Local man makes beautiful and personal tribute to Queen'.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 18, 2022)

ska invita said:


> He's very openly after a knighthood supposedly, keeps getting rebuffed and quite annoyed about that




They won't give him one cos he dodged his taxes, evidently the tens of millions of pounds he has are not enough for the greedy prick.


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 18, 2022)

I have FINALLY managed to get to the end of the thread. I feel like I’ve had my own personal Queueing experience 



SpookyFrank said:


> Who the fuck are these people? And how do they even manage to function in everyday life being this fucking pathetic? Some of this shit is genuinely alarming tbh.


I would eat one of the queen’s hats, corgi hair and all, if these sorts of messages are someone’s long term genuine feelings. They’re either  near delirious thoughts that have been whipped up in the fervour of the moment (if I’m feeling generous) or outright false flattery (if I’m not).



kabbes said:


> I think people have been persuaded that this is An Historic Event and by attending, they are being part of history.



My dance teacher joined the crowds to see the coffin go past and yeah, she said it was more about the history thing. Same reason  my mum keeps asking if I’ve gone to see anything. Mind you, even mum now thinks that all the coverage is “getting a bit too much” which to me speaks more volumes than an anti-monarchist’s week of piss taking!


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 18, 2022)

dessiato said:


> One thing I love about this village is that there’s no obvious fetishisation of the queen’s death.



I'm in quite a "Rangers" village on the west coast.  I can imagine there will be a bit of fuss here tomorrow.


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Who the fuck are these people? And how do they even manage to function in everyday life being this fucking pathetic? Some of this shit is genuinely alarming tbh.




It's  Rick...




In case anyone missed it earlier.

😁


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

The whole 10 days mourning thing... is it 10? Cos the Royals out and about pressing the flesh with the common people, look remarkably chipper and smiley.

Even on the BBC...and Sky etc..everyonr is in black but they're definitely not "in mourning".

This to me is all a lie. 
All the merry people queueing to see the coffin etc... chatting away to the media "oh we packed lots of sandwiches and the time has flown..everyone is in good form and we are doing this cos its the least we could do ...cos queenie did so much for us"..
I mean wtf? What exactly did she do FOR them? 


What did the queen actually do for these people? How can they be so brainwashed? She lived an extraordinarily priveleged life. She smiled as she met people in public and shook their hands.  That's it. 
She might have done some charity stuff but she just turned up to functions...smiled..waved....chatted a bit... Charles will do the same.

Its a tourist attraction.  The Royal family are good for tourism. And currently the biggest tourists are those meandering through the snake queue to see the pageantry of the queen lying jn state with the beefeaters and horse guards standing to protect her remains. 

The common people say "we want to show our respect"....sadly the royals don't really care much about this respect. Deep down they dont give a toss for the common people but they will shake hands and thanks because they know that the common people can turn and when they turn against a monarchy they have the power to uproot it.

I'm just surprised that the royals are not providing all these weary travellers with a hot beverage and a marmalade sandwich.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 18, 2022)

When he gets to the front of the q, do you think Frodo will go through with it and toss the ring in?


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> When he gets to the front of the q, do you think Frodo will go through with it and toss the ring in?



He tried already.  The police arrested him


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 18, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> When he gets to the front of the q, do you think Frodo will go through with it and toss the ring in?


Should have just sent the eagles…


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 18, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


>



How does James Whale still exist? Who even listens anymore?


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 18, 2022)

Aladdin said:


> He tried already.  The police arrested him


"not my ring"


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

bcuster said:


>



Aren’t you supposed to touch the coffin?


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Aladdin said:


> The whole 10 days mourning thing... is it 10? Cos the Royals out and about pressing the flesh with the common people, look remarkably chipper and smiley.
> 
> Even on the BBC...and Sky etc..everyonr is in black but they're definitely not "in mourning".
> 
> ...


In the old days, the new King would feed the whole nation with cakes and ale. Not these days. They’re not so afraid of us cutting their heads off anymore. Perhaps it’s time to make them afraid of the people.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## Gromit (Sep 18, 2022)

weepiper said:


>



I think he wanted not to be hung, drawn and quartered;
followed by ice cream (he loved a Cornetto);
and lastly for future English monarchs to have nice funerals
 (But lots of em in the space of a week so no heirs were left).


----------



## brogdale (Sep 18, 2022)

If the death of one Royal is that good for the UK's power, the States would be quaking if Harry went full-on Dipendra!


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 18, 2022)

Aladdin said:


> What did the queen actually do for these people? How can they be so brainwashed? She lived an extraordinarily priveleged life. She smiled as she met people in public and shook their hands.  That's it.


To play devils advocate, she didn’t do anything particularly good but she also didn’t do anything horribly wrong like some others in her family. I think that’s exactly what people mean when they use the word “dignified”.


Aladdin said:


> She might have done some charity stuff but she just turned up to functions...smiled..waved....chatted a bit... *Charles will do the same.*


That’s actually the question isn’t it? He’s piped up from time to time with more explicit opinions to her. Not saying he’s going to try and wrestle back control from Parliament but it will be interesting to see if he stays as silent as her.

As an aside, I can’t remember how my MiL knows this but apparently he has staff who remove all the cow pats from the fields he takes his evening walks in.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 18, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> When he gets to the front of the q, do you think Frodo will go through with it and toss the ring in?





Aladdin said:


> He tried already.  The police arrested him


Sure he wasn't saying "My precious"


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> To play devils advocate, she didn’t do anything particularly good but she also didn’t do anything horribly wrong like some others in her family. I think that’s exactly what people mean when they use the word “dignified”.
> 
> That’s actually the question isn’t it? He’s piped up from time to time with more explicit opinions to her. Not saying he’s going to try and wrestle back control from Parliament but it will be interesting to see if he stays as silent to her.
> 
> As an aside, I can’t remember how my MiL knows this but apparently he has staff who remove all the cow pats from the fields he takes his evening walks in.




The lol was for the last paragraph 😁


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 18, 2022)

Aladdin said:


> The lol was for the last paragraph 😁


Well it is meant to be a comedy thread, I had to make some kind of effort


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> Well it is meant to be a comedy thread, I had to make some kind of effort



And we know how he reacts to a leaky ink pen...
I would love to be a fly on the one cowpat his minions forget to remove from the field he likes to walk through of an evening.
😁

He would probably become apopleptic.


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 18, 2022)

Paignton Pier sends its regrets with this picture of the Mona Liza


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

quiet guy said:


> Sure he wasn't saying "My precious"



He may have said.....

"my pre......ouch.....wtf?"


----------



## steveseagull (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> To play devils advocate, she didn’t do anything particularly good but she also didn’t do anything horribly wrong like some others in her family. I think that’s exactly what people mean when they use the word “dignified’


I’m not sure there’s much dignity in honouring tyrants and torturers, making a rule not to employ any black servants, trying to apply for a heating allowance that was intended to help out struggling families and keeping all the proceeds from the various incomes accrued from public land. I could go on….


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

steveseagull said:


>



Shame, I hear there’s a cracking owl sanctuary nearby


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Aladdin said:


> And we know how he reacts to a leaky ink pen...
> I would love to be a fly on the one cowpat his minions forget to remove from the field he likes to walk through of an evening.
> 😁
> 
> He would probably become apopleptic.


I seem to recall reading that he doesn’t even put his own toothpaste on his toothbrush


----------



## Aladdin (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> I seem to recall reading that he doesn’t even put his own toothpaste on his toothbrush




That's really pathetic...if true


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Aladdin said:


> That's really pathetic...if true











						Charles' odd toilet demand and strict toothpaste rule uncovered in new book
					

Tina Brown's new book Palace Papers makes several claims about the future king, Prince Charles, including the long list of demands he makes every time he travels to stay with friends



					www.mirror.co.uk
				



“In the documentary Serving the Royals: Inside the Firm, Diana's former butler Paul Burrell revealed: “His pyjamas are pressed every morning, his shoelaces are pressed flat with an iron, the bath plug has to be in a certain position, and the water temperature has to be just tepid. He has his valets squeeze one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush every morning.”


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> I’m not sure there’s much dignity in honouring tyrants and torturers, making a rule not to employ any black servants, trying to apply for a heating allowance that was intended to help out struggling families and keeping all the proceeds from the various incomes accrued from public land. I could go on….


Yeah I agree with you there, but it’s either action via inaction (which seems more acceptable with the public, at least if in line with the media’s general stance) or not widely known. I had no idea of those last two


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> I’m not sure there’s much dignity in honouring tyrants and torturers, making a rule not to employ any black servants, trying to apply for a heating allowance that was intended to help out struggling families and keeping all the proceeds from the various incomes accrued from public land. I could go on….


This is one of the fine gentlemen she’s bestowed honours on:





						Ian Henderson (police officer) - Wikipedia
					






					en.m.wikipedia.org
				



She sanctioned his actions in Kenya. She knew what was going on and did nowt about it and then gave him and others shiny medals in gratitude for protecting British interests abroad. 
IMO she was irredeemably detestable


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> Yeah I agree with you there, but it’s either action via inaction (which seems more acceptable with the public, at least if in line with the media’s general stance) or not widely known. I had no idea of those last two


I think people are upset at her death because she was a constant in people’s lives like a soap opera character. Also, many people are grieving for loved ones lost in the pandemic and this has amplified and concentrated their grief.


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## SysOut (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> soap opera character.


Nail on head.
The public image has nothing to do with the reality. The monarch _is_ the boss.



Orang Utan said:


> She knew what was going on and did nowt about it and then gave him and others shiny medals in gratitude for protecting British her interests abroad.


the monarch is also monarch of 15 other other independent countries. I.e. The UK govt has no say, but the monarch does. Thus she got the australian govt, changed. But it's all business. They, and their origins, are no different than gangsters.

Indeed, the mafia based their structures on royalty.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 18, 2022)

Johnny Vodka said:


> View attachment 343282


he's been suspended!

E2A - sorry false alarm, my bad. I used old bookmark/handle
here's the correct /new handle
https://twitter.com/coldwarsteve
Post is there:


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 18, 2022)

SysOut said:


> he's been suspended!


This must be the cancel culture the right fear.

Oh, wait...


----------



## magneze (Sep 18, 2022)

SysOut said:


> he's been suspended!


I had assumed that you meant Schofield!


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 18, 2022)

That's not the right handle?

Twitter.com/coldwarsteve working fine


----------



## pogofish (Sep 18, 2022)

Meanwhile, in Angus:















						Angus farmer 'Balesy' pays tribute to the Queen with replica of touching Paddington artwork
					

Angus ‘Balesy’ Fleur Baxter has honoured the Queen on her latest farm field canvas. Since 2014, farmer Fleur has delighted passers-by with brightly




					www.thecourier.co.uk


----------



## T & P (Sep 18, 2022)

**


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 18, 2022)

T & P said:


> *View attachment 343303*


What bap do you want? A Chas or an Andy?


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 18, 2022)

.


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Just put this on another thread but worth repeating here:
Haven’t watched any telly since Her Madge kicked the bucket as I don’t want owt to do with any of that shit.
The closest I got was listening to a friend’s radio show on NTS - she had the honour of announcing the Royal Death - she’s Scottish and part of the announcement was ‘she’s popped it. Has she really popped it?’ She then played some more tunes and then later on announced it properly and then played a happy hardcore tune


----------



## Dr. Furface (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## Combustible (Sep 18, 2022)

kabbes said:


> I think people have been persuaded that this is An Historic Event


Not "an" historic event, _the_ historic event


----------



## Gromit (Sep 18, 2022)

T & P said:


> *View attachment 343303*


I hate a funeral but I'd be pleased with that spread.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Sep 18, 2022)

Who is this?


----------



## LDC (Sep 18, 2022)

T & P said:


> *View attachment 343303*



Nothing wrong with that!


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> I seem to recall reading that he doesn’t even put his own toothpaste on his toothbrush


Half an inch , no more, no less.  And his shoe laces are ironed everyday.
ETA. See you'd already posted.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Meanwhile, in Angus:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Mutley grinning! No fucking respect.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


> View attachment 343333


This morning are rattled.








						This Morning forced to issue statement denying Holly and Phil jumped Queen queue
					

It comes after Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield were falsely accused of queue jumping when they were filming a segment for daytime show This Morning - the pair were spotted in the media line, not the 'VIP' section




					www.mirror.co.uk


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


>





Why those darn sneaky...


----------



## Part 2 (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> This morning are rattled.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I saw that statement from on twitter yesterday, it only served to fan the flames and viewers weren't buying it. My in-laws were round for tea and had bought right into it with a good old rant about Schofield in particular when my son threw the subject into conversation.   

I think they'll have to come up with something else by Tuesday and expect some serious grovelling.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

Part 2 said:


> I saw that statement from on twitter yesterday, it only served to fan the flames and viewers weren't buying it. My in-laws were round for tea and had bought right into it with a good old rant about Schofield in particular when my son threw the subject into conversation.
> 
> I think they'll have to come up with something else by Tuesday and expect some serious grovelling.


I despise that show but I may have to record it. Schofe will have Willoughby reading his statement while he cries, take 2.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 18, 2022)

Combustible said:


> Not "an" historic event, _the_ historic event



Utter bootlicking. That man has no soul. He is transparent and hideous


----------



## RedRedRose (Sep 18, 2022)

Ax^ said:


>



Lucky no one died!


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 18, 2022)

RedRedRose said:


> Lucky no one died!


The queen died!


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 18, 2022)

Conveniently placed at a favourite location for street drinking and rough sleeping.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 18, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> View attachment 343341
> 
> Conveniently placed at a favourite location for street drinking and rough sleeping.


Looks like marge simpson


----------



## marty21 (Sep 18, 2022)

Looby said:


> My friends took this picture from a village bus stop during the jubilee. I’m so tempted to go for a drive today to see what they’ve done this time.
> 
> Queen in her coffin, paddington? I hope they’ve done something. 😄
> View attachment 343257


Fucking hell !


----------



## marty21 (Sep 18, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> Should have just sent the eagles…


This ^^^


----------



## Voley (Sep 18, 2022)

Combustible said:


> Not "an" historic event, _the_ historic event



A suitable response:


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

Whole new level of wtf!


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## rekil (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


>




Can't be arsed to click twitter to see if anyone's mentioned it but paddington's coat is blue. That's probably the death dwarf from don't look now.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Mutley grinning! No fucking respect.


Mutley and the others were there first. Her painted bales are a well known attraction there


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Mutley and the others were there first. Her painted bales are a well known attraction there


I know. It was a joke.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

Christ. Who'd have thought it.


----------



## Ranbay (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## Ranbay (Sep 18, 2022)

Newport - South Wales ^


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Christ. Who'd have thought it.



That's unfortunate. I agree with them on the family losing a member and allowing people to grieve in peace. I wouldn't agree with people taking the piss out of people in person. People can also take the piss on places like this where ardent monarchists can just ignore it. 
However, the Queen had fabulous wealth and could have helped the homeless situation. Plus she could have abdicated, so although she was raised in unusual circumstances, it was her choice to continue.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

Storm Fox said:


> That's unfortunate. I agree with them on the family losing a member and allowing people to grieve in peace. I wouldn't agree with people taking the piss out of people in person. People can also take the piss on places like this where ardent monarchists can just ignore it.
> However, the Queen had fabulous wealth and could have helped the homeless situation. Plus she could have abdicated, so although she was raised in unusual circumstances, it was her choice to continue.


Gets better.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

rekil said:


> Can't be arsed to click twitter to see if anyone's mentioned it but paddington's coat is blue. That's probably the death dwarf from don't look now.


Had to Google that. Christ! 
Is it worth a watch?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Gets better.




Harry does appear to be one of the few people who have genuinely been On A Journey since he was younger. From a toxically wealthy family to a high pressure oppressive army/air regime to fucking off with Meghan and saying this is a bit shit ain’t it. 


Or maybe he’s just much better at PR than the rest.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Had to Google that. Christ!
> Is it worth a watch?


Not now you've had the big spoiler!


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 18, 2022)

If I can be arsed I’ll write a counter argument about “it’s not the time” later when I’ve got PC access - there will be historical citations


----------



## SysOut (Sep 18, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> That's not the right handle?
> 
> Twitter.com/coldwarsteve working fine




you're right. the handle's changed. My bookmark is out of date.
https://twitter.com/coldwarsteve/


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Harry does appear to be one of the few people who have genuinely been On A Journey since he was younger. From a toxically wealthy family to a high pressure oppressive army/air regime to fucking off with Meghan and saying this is a bit shit ain’t it.
> 
> 
> Or maybe he’s just much better at PR than the rest.


He has the same PR team as squirrels.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Not now you've had the big spoiler!


Is it like if you knew Bruce Willis was the dead one in sixth sense beforehand?


----------



## DaphneM (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> I think people are upset at her death because she was a constant in people’s lives like a soap opera character. Also, many people are grieving for loved ones lost in the pandemic and this has amplified and concentrated their grief.


So is their grief invalidated then?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 18, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> So is their grief invalidated then?


fuck off


----------



## emanymton (Sep 18, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Harry does appear to be one of the few people who have genuinely been On A Journey since he was younger. From a toxically wealthy family to a high pressure oppressive army/air regime to fucking off with Meghan and saying this is a bit shit ain’t it.
> 
> 
> Or maybe he’s just much better at PR than the rest.


Don't forget his Nazi fancy dress.


----------



## hitmouse (Sep 18, 2022)

brogdale said:


> fuck off


I can't believe your lack of empathy for ordinary people who value stupid loaded questions.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 18, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> So is their grief invalidated then?


Who said that? The post you are replying to says 'amplified' and 'concentrated', which is approaching the opposite of 'invalidated'.

There was nothing disrespectful about the soap character parallel either. On that, the photo the British Embassy in Paris used for the queen (I saw it on television) reminded me of Pat Butcher, and it's my firm belief that EE has never recovered from killing off Pat.

People feel how they feel.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 18, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> So is their grief invalidated then?



aye fuck em


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> So is their grief invalidated then?


Why are you asking that? It’s not something I suggested


----------



## brogdale (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> Why are you asking that? It’s not something I suggested


They're a piss-poor troll, determined to be contrarian


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 18, 2022)

Anyway what’s wrong with being disrespectful towards any institution or individual that hasn’t earned it?


----------



## MrSki (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## T & P (Sep 18, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Sep 18, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 343402


I reckon she's deffo dead


----------



## angusmcfangus (Sep 18, 2022)

Johnny Vodka said:


> I'm in quite a "Rangers" village on the west coast.  I can imagine there will be a bit of fuss here tomorrow.


Larkhall? 🙄


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 18, 2022)

angusmcfangus said:


> Larkhall? 🙄



Nope


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

' The crowd gasped'  🤣


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 18, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 343402



Talk about a challenging wank


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 18, 2022)

Mumsnet special.

Nothing particularly unhinged on my local nextdoor but I've not really looked


----------



## bcuster (Sep 18, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> Aren’t you supposed to touch the coffin?





Orang Utan said:


> Aren’t you supposed to touch the coffin?


Absolutely, yes. At least under normal circumstances…


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> ' The crowd gasped'  🤣




They probably did gasp tbf. Because they're halfwits who don't know what a rainbow is. They're probably still trying to come to terms with the fact that the moon is not just what the sun looks like at night.


----------



## marty21 (Sep 18, 2022)

angusmcfangus said:


> Larkhall? 🙄


I grew up in Larkhall 








The one in Bath.


----------



## Agent Sparrow (Sep 18, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> View attachment 343419
> 
> Mumsnet special.
> 
> Nothing particularly unhinged on my local nextdoor but I've not really looked


I reckon rumpypumby is being well sarcastic. Hopefully…


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 18, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Talk about a challenging wank



could be worse, this place is gonna have the funeral on 

Gay sauna won't show adult films on Monday as a 'mark of respect to the Queen'


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 18, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> ' The crowd gasped'  🤣



Wait till they hear about the shape of the earth


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 18, 2022)

MrSki said:


>



Is that Karen Allen from Raiders of the Lost Ark?


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 18, 2022)

Ax^ said:


> could be worse, this place is gonna have the funeral on
> 
> Gay sauna won't show adult films on Monday as a 'mark of respect to the Queen'



No adult films? So what are they gonna show, Finding Nemo?


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 18, 2022)

they are going to show the queen funeral service  if i read it correct


sex sauna with a funeral going on, even the hardest "fuck the queen" lot will be in the wrong venue

oh they are going to give out a glass of champagne as a mark of respect


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 18, 2022)

This is fucking brutal.


----------



## MrSki (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## tonysingh (Sep 19, 2022)

Johnny Vodka said:


> I'm in quite a "Rangers" village on the west coast.  I can imagine there will be a bit of fuss here tomorrow.



I dare you to fly the Starry Plough or tricolour tomorrow.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 19, 2022)

I'd have just fucked him off. Horses for courses


----------



## albionism (Sep 19, 2022)

Opps! Just noticed someone beat me to it.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I'd have just fucked him off. Horses for courses




The good old Sunday Sport. I wasn’t aware that shit rag still exists.


----------



## weepiper (Sep 19, 2022)

The Sport page is a terrible Photoshop sadly, as you can tell if you read the text.


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 19, 2022)

weepiper said:


> …  as you can tell if you read the text.



Why would anyone do that?


----------



## moochedit (Sep 19, 2022)

Spymaster said:


> The good old Sunday Sport. I wasn’t aware that shit rag still exists.


soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent!


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 19, 2022)

From yesterday.


----------



## Ming (Sep 19, 2022)

I wonder if she was pissed off she never got to send herself a congratulatory telegram?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Sep 19, 2022)

Now I rather like all this yarn bombing stuff but "Gnome Queen" in Cookham has amused me


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 19, 2022)

rekil said:


> Can't be arsed to click twitter to see if anyone's mentioned it but paddington's coat is blue. That's probably the death dwarf from don't look now.


I had a red coated Paddington when I was a kid (my brother had the blue one)


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

'kinnel


----------



## moochedit (Sep 19, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> I had a red coated Paddington when I was a kid (my brother had the blue one)


You had a socialist paddington  and he had a tory one


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 19, 2022)

moochedit said:


> You had a socialist paddington  and he had a tory one



Nice one!  The use of Paddington as Royal propagandist disturbs me a bit since,in the books and films, he is the voice of the outsider often questioning the established order of things. Rather than taking tea with Liz, he would have said something like “Why do you have all this money? Why do you live in this huge house?” etc. 🤔


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

hmm nice driving to work this morning was like lockdown again

no foookers on the road


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 19, 2022)

Think Paddington has earned himself a spot on the guillotine


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 19, 2022)

I presume he's earned himself a seat at the funeral. Outrageous if he's not invited after all he's done.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> ' The crowd gasped'  🤣


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> 'kinnel
> 
> View attachment 343459


The Starmerites missed this bit:


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 19, 2022)

ruffneck23 said:


>



Should have some swan in it surely?


----------



## Edie (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## A380 (Sep 19, 2022)

Edie said:


>




That’s basically eight days worth of BBC and all national newspaper coverage…


----------



## Edie (Sep 19, 2022)

A380 said:


> That’s basically eight days worth of BBC and all national newspaper coverage…


It’s brilliant isn’t it. Sums up why I love kids.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> The Starmerites missed this bit:
> 
> View attachment 343466


I read that as sling thee


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

Mr.Bishie said:


> I read that as sling thee


But really, our largest mainstream political parties talking about angels; WTAF


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 19, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> View attachment 343419
> 
> Mumsnet special.
> 
> Nothing particularly unhinged on my local nextdoor but I've not really looked



As usual, impossible to tell who is taking the piss and who is genuinely coming out with this kind of shit.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> This is fucking brutal.




Fucking savages. That 'pushing your head into the concrete' thing seems to be standard practice now. And why wouldn't it be, they clearly enjoy it and nobody tells them not to.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I'd have just fucked him off. Horses for courses



Good to put a face to the parties concerned, in case i ever meet them. Plus she's a _cracking cook_


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 19, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Nice one!  The use of Paddington as Royal propagandist disturbs me a bit since,in the books and films, he is the voice of the outsider often questioning the established order of things. Rather than taking tea with Liz, he would have said something like “Why do you have all this money? Why do you live in this huge house?” etc. 🤔



Much as I loved the movies I couldn't help but wonder how the Browns ended up in that fucking massive townhouse in Kensington. Mr Brown must be doing 'wealth management' for some Saudi gentlemen or something. He may seem a bit stuffy and uptight, but that's just because he's coming home from another long day stuffing bits of journalist into a duffle bag and trying to make a strangled sex worker look like she died of a heroin overdose.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 19, 2022)

Just watching the marching bands trooping out of the parade ground. The rhythm of the boots has me singing Gary Glitter’s “Rock’n’Roll pt 2” in my head..


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 19, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Much as I loved the movies I couldn't help but wonder how the Browns ended up in that fucking massive townhouse in Kensington. Mr Brown must be doing 'wealth management' for some Saudi gentlemen or something. He may seem a bit stuffy and uptight, but that's just because he's coming home from another long day stuffing bits of journalist into a duffle bag and trying to make a strangled sex worker look like she died of a heroin overdose.


Yep - there’s no way anyone in that street could afford to live there. All a bit “Richard Curtis” really


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 19, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Just watching the marching bands trooping out of the parade ground. The rhythm of the boots has me singing Gary Glitter’s “Rock’n’Roll pt 2” in my head..



That's not in your head, it's Andrew's leaky earbuds.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 19, 2022)

Hope she's saved enough for the kids therapy later in life


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 19, 2022)

The former Poet Laureate has written her own tribute and I think this thread is the best place for it.

Sentence spacing has been adjusted by me.


DAUGHTER

Your mother’s daughter, you set your face
to the road
that ran by the river; behind you, the castle,
its mute ballroom, lowered flag. 
Stoic, your profile a head on a coin,
you followed the hearse
through sorrow’s landscape- a farmer, stood
on a tractor,
lifting his tweed cap; a group of anglers
shouldering their rods.
And now the villagers, silently raising
their mobile phones.
Then babies held aloft in the towns, to one day
be told they were there.

But you had your mother’s eyes, as a horse ran free
in a field;
a pheasant flared from a hedge
like a thrown bouquet;
journeying on through a harvest of strange love.

How they craned to glimpse their lives again
in her death; reminded
of Time’s relentless removals, their own bereavements,
as she passed.
The uplift of the high bridge over a dazzle of water;
a sense of ascending
into anointing light which dissolved into cloud.
Nine more slow grey miles to the Old Town; the last mile
a royal mile,

where they gathered ten-deep as your mother showed you
what she had meant.
Nightfall and downpour near London. Even the motorways paused; thousands of headlights in rain
as you shadowed her still; smatterings of applause
from verges and bridges.

Soon enough they would come to know this had long been
the Age of Grief;
that History was ahead of them. The crown of ice melting
on the roof of the world.
Tonight, childhood’s palace; the iPhone torches linking back
to medieval flame.
So you slowed and arrived with her, her only daughter,
and only her daughter.


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 19, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> Hope she's saved enough for the kids therapy later in life



I mean I'm on two different drugs and in yet another queue (a metaphorical one!) for my umpteenth load of therapy, leaving the house is sometimes a huge effort, I drink too much because I can't handle how I feel properly etc etc but the last few days, ya know, and people like this....


----------



## Steel Icarus (Sep 19, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The former Poet Laureate has written her own tribute and I think this thread is the best place for it.
> 
> Sentence spacing has been adjusted by me.
> 
> ...


Tbf that's excellent as far as poems go. I've seen worse lately


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 19, 2022)

Steel Icarus said:


> Tbf that's excellent as far as poems go. I've seen worse lately


"Your Maj the Queen
The best we've ever seen
You'll always be Liz the Second
But now death has beckoned "


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 19, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> "Your Maj the Queen
> The best we've ever seen
> You'll always be Liz the Second
> But now death has beckoned "


And one is now a has-been


----------



## pogofish (Sep 19, 2022)

Hmm...:


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Gets better.



You may not know this but Lowkey is a raging anti-Semite. He might be making good points but he’s full of shit about a lot of things


----------



## Lord Camomile (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> If the death of one Royal is that good for the UK's power, the States would be quaking if Harry went full-on Dipendra!
> 
> View attachment 343277


I suppose the death of arguably the one British statesperson still respected by any of the major world powers/leaders proves it isn't so much declining as declined. It's done. It's over. It is a dead power.


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> So is their grief invalidated then?


To come back to this. I think some people are not feeling grief at all, just excitement at being part of something bigger and less dull than them esp those nutters in queues I keep seeing on Twitter being interviewed on tv. People like this:

That doesn’t look very much like grief, does it? They’re delighted


----------



## Spymaster (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> Gets better.




Never seen this mentioned anywhere other than by this chap on Twitter.

I think he's made it up.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 19, 2022)

It's like going to a big show at the O2. Then fuck off back to their backwater town and tell their mates they were there.
It's confirmation once more of the truth that 99% of people's lives are pretty uneventful. So they're - and we're, realistically - always desperate to be part of something. Which is the cause for so much batshit behaviour.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 19, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The former Poet Laureate has written her own tribute and I think this thread is the best place for it.
> 
> Sentence spacing has been adjusted by me.
> 
> ...



I didn't know Adrian Mole was ever Poet Laureate.


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## hitmouse (Sep 19, 2022)

Have we had this one?


----------



## pogofish (Sep 19, 2022)

platinumsage said:


>




🤮


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 19, 2022)

platinumsage said:


>



Alternately, the tradition of all dead generations weighs like a nightmare on the brains of the living


----------



## Cloo (Sep 19, 2022)

I think this was a good, and respectful to people's actual feelings, reflection on the 'grief' narrative:



People outside the royal family (and perhaps some of the close household) aren't going through shock and bargaining and depression etc - they're just a bit sad, dimished, reflective.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 19, 2022)

Saw this one online:

Liz checked out at 96

I thought she’d make the ton

Unfortunately we now must crown

Her red faced idiot son


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 19, 2022)

Getting royally screwed:


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Getting royally screwed:



That’s not real - look at the clashing typefaces


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

My respect is real though:


----------



## rekil (Sep 19, 2022)

Cloo said:


> People outside the royal family (and perhaps some of the close household) aren't going through shock and bargaining and depression etc - they're just a bit sad, dimished, reflective.



Not even that. Proximity to power has made them lose their minds.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 19, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> My respect is real though:
> View attachment 343502


Is that a pasta themed armband?


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

seeformiles said:


> Is that a pasta themed armband?


It’s a pasta themed sock.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 19, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Getting royally screwed:




OK, it's 'shopped. But re the story itself: as far as I can tell those are two pictures of the same lad. Wouldn't blame her if she got them mixed up, to be honest.


----------



## billy_bob (Sep 19, 2022)

.


----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 19, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> That’s not real - look at the clashing typefaces


I hope you don't think the rest of the Daily Sport is real...


----------



## rekil (Sep 19, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> That’s not real - look at the clashing typefaces



Are people really taken in by trevor bastard gags, or are they just pretending, i can't tell anymore.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 19, 2022)

Cloo said:


> I think this was a good, and respectful to people's actual feelings, reflection on the 'grief' narrative:
> 
> 
> 
> People outside the royal family (and perhaps some of the close household) aren't going through shock and bargaining and depression etc - they're just a bit sad, dimished, reflective.




The best scene in that movie 'The Queen' is where someone is telling Brenda she should be supporting the people in their grief for Diana and Brenda loses it; _their _grief? I've got two young grandchildren who have just lost their mother.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 19, 2022)

Cloo said:


> I think this was a good, and respectful to people's actual feelings, reflection on the 'grief' narrative:
> 
> 
> 
> People outside the royal family (and perhaps some of the close household) aren't going through shock and bargaining and depression etc - they're just a bit sad, dimished, reflective.




Capitalism encourages para-social relationships as they are easy to monetize, coupled with a media and political system that encourages conflating symbolism with reality. If your not upset by the queen it's because your not one of Us and we are all one of Us lest you feel shame.


Idfk, I don't earn the big bucks with this stuff I just flail and hope I'm right.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 19, 2022)

Local shop is open but over the till, instead of the security camera feed, they have the royal dying instead. Curious


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

rekil said:


> Are people really taken in by trevor bastard gags, or are they just pretending, i can't tell anymore.


He’s a good laugh. I remember when he ran for Major as Wolfgang Moneypenny


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 19, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Local shop is open but over the till, instead of the security camera feed, they have the royal dying instead. Curious



Good time for shoplifting then


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 19, 2022)

I'm confused as to why a man who has never recovered from being forced to walk, through crowds, behind a coffin as a 15 year old is going to make his much younger children do just that. Aren't his kids about 8 and 6 years old?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 19, 2022)

Meanwhile  up in 'her beloved Scotland'...


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> I'm confused as to why a man who has never recovered from being forced to walk, through crowds, behind a coffin as a 15 year old is going to make his much younger children do just that. Aren't his kids about 8 and 6 years old?


It’s just a rather distant and frosty granny though rather than their loving mum


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 19, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Good time for shoplifting then


Clearly that wouldn't happen, on this the day of the queen's funeral


----------



## 8ball (Sep 19, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> I'm confused as to why a man who has never recovered from being forced to walk, through crowds, behind a coffin as a 15 year old is going to make his much younger children do just that. Aren't his kids about 8 and 6 years old?



Character building.


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> Clearly that wouldn't happen, on this the day of the queen's funeral


I dunno. Looting for The Empire as a mark of respect seems appropriate


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 19, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> I'm confused as to why a man who has never recovered from being forced to walk, through crowds, behind a coffin as a 15 year old is going to make his much younger children do just that. Aren't his kids about 8 and 6 years old?





Orang Utan said:


> It’s just a rather distant and frosty granny though rather than their loving mum



that, and there's a certain sort of world view along the lines of 'i have had a miserable bloody time, it's only fair that future generations have an equally miserable bloody time' (see also older right wingers on abolition of corporal punishment at schools, national service and so on)


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> that, and there's a certain sort of world view along the lines of 'i have had a miserable bloody time, it's only fair that future generations have an equally miserable bloody time' (see also older right wingers on abolition of corporal punishment at schools, national service and so on)


And not having the heating on!


----------



## LDC (Sep 19, 2022)

platinumsage said:


>




Get thee to Pseud's Corner forthwith.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 19, 2022)

That's some bad ass blue tac or gaffer tape holding the crown, orb and sceptre in place on top of Brenda's box.


----------



## xenon (Sep 19, 2022)

Urban loves all this royal stuff. 

Hardly got mentioned over the weekend IRL.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 19, 2022)

xenon said:


> Urban loves all this royal stuff.
> 
> Hardly got mentioned over the weekend IRL.


One tiny thread


----------



## 8ball (Sep 19, 2022)

LDC said:


> Get thee to Pseud's Corner forthwith.



It’s quite a deeply coded way of saying “This is all bollocks”.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 19, 2022)

This is just depressing 

Although the ex RAF guy oblivious as he's interviewed to the fact loads of people have walked right past him, costing his place in the queue is darkly amusing


----------



## AverageJoe (Sep 19, 2022)

Actually just appeared on my Facebook...


----------



## T & P (Sep 19, 2022)

Someone has just let off some fireworks in Tulse Hill. Whether it’s meant to be in tribute of Brenda or someone who’s had enough of it all, I don’t know.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

AverageJoe said:


> View attachment 343510
> Actually just appeared on my Facebook...



do tell me you reply with "Zee Revolution is here, grab a local Tory and kill them"


----------



## MrSki (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## twistedAM (Sep 19, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> This is just depressing
> 
> Although the ex RAF guy oblivious as he's interviewed to the fact loads of people have walked right past him, costing his place in the queue is darkly amusing




Wow, Beckham sure loves his monarchs whether they be British or Qatari.


----------



## Cloo (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> that, and there's a certain sort of world view along the lines of 'i have had a miserable bloody time, it's only fair that future generations have an equally miserable bloody time' (see also older right wingers on abolition of corporal punishment at schools, national service and so on)


TBF, your 96 year old great granny dying of old age isn't traumatic; your young mum dying suddenly and violently is. My kids 10 and 7 when my much loved and often visited grandfather died and while they were a bit sad neither grieved at all, nor would I expect them to.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 19, 2022)

Am I really hearing one of the BBC radio commentators keep referring to Camilla as the Queen CONCERT...?


----------



## 8ball (Sep 19, 2022)

pogofish said:


> Am I really hearing one of the BBC radio commentators keep referring to Camilla as the Queen CONCERT...?



Tbf he’s Under Pressure.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Sep 19, 2022)

I’m pretty sure Paddington is a wrecker. I think I read one of his books about Wimbledon and meeting JRH in her jubilee year. I can’t be arsed to Google it. He’s a wrong un that bear


----------



## scifisam (Sep 19, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> The former Poet Laureate has written her own tribute and I think this thread is the best place for it.
> 
> Sentence spacing has been adjusted by me.
> 
> ...



"Her only daughter?" How the fuck can a former poet laureate get that wrong??

Oh, it's about Ann. But it doesn't make any sense even to be about her either. Weirdness.


----------



## Gromit (Sep 19, 2022)

SpookyFrank said:


> Fucking savages. That 'pushing your head into the concrete' thing seems to be standard practice now. And why wouldn't it be, they clearly enjoy it and nobody tells them not to.


We are lucky that we haven't had a Boston marathon type bombing as securing the capital has been next to impossible.
So as much as I despise heavy handed policing I'm not surprised they went full Tonto until they could be sure he didn't have a suicide vest.
You see harmless rollerblader.
They see a bomb potentially speeding towards the king.

Besides fuck him. 
He strikes me as the do want I please type who blades at speed down tube platforms.
Until one day someone runs for a train, collides with him, slips down the side against a moving train and either gets dragged under or just scraped up the platform edge. Whilst fuck face who caused it all doesn't even get a scratch.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Sep 19, 2022)

Gromit said:


> We are lucky that we haven't had a Boston marathon type bombing as securing the capital has been next to impossible.
> So as much as I despise heavy handed policing I'm not surprised they went full Tonto until they could be sure he didn't have a suicide vest.
> You see harmless rollerblader.
> They see a bomb potentially speeding towards the king.
> ...



How can we be sure you don't have a suicide vest?

Anyway, kings and queens rule by divine right. So if some urchin does blow up Charles and leave William in charge, well that's just god's will surely? If that weren't the case, then the whole thing would be nonsense.


----------



## extra dry (Sep 19, 2022)

Watching it on youtube, the kids looked well hacked off, the only Royal face that stood out was Harry.  The BBC will be describing the history of funerals soon


----------



## extra dry (Sep 19, 2022)

Agent Sparrow said:


> To play devils advocate, she didn’t do anything particularly good but she also didn’t do anything horribly wrong like some others in her family. I think that’s exactly what people mean when they use the word “dignified”.
> 
> That’s actually the question isn’t it? He’s piped up from time to time with more explicit opinions to her. Not saying he’s going to try and wrestle back control from Parliament but it will be interesting to see if he stays as silent as her.
> 
> As an aside, I can’t remember how my MiL knows this but apparently he has staff who remove all the cow pats from the fields he takes his evening walks in.


the person at work who made that up is a genius.


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Sep 19, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Should have some swan in it surely?



Or a bit of her toe?


----------



## DaphneM (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I'd have just fucked him off. Horses for courses



It’s not real tho…


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 19, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Should have some swan in it surely?


I’ve got a copy of Larousse Gastronomique and, not being bound by UK law, it describes swan meat as oily and leathery so not really the sort of thing you’d want in your burger 🙂


----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 19, 2022)

NOT YOU


----------



## Epona (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## AverageJoe (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## Wilf (Sep 19, 2022)

I just looked up the time of the funeral to see when the fucking thing will be over. Was relieved to see it was 12 - 1.00 and thought thank fuck. I then saw they will continue dragging the box round till 4.00! Anyway, suppose it's final opportunity for people overcome with grief to throw themselves under the wheels of a gun carriage.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 19, 2022)

250 candles positioned in shape of The Queen in Orpington
					

250 twinkling candles making a picture of HM The Queen was placed by members of the Orpington community last night.




					www.newsshopper.co.uk


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

Was a sign up at West Croydon station this morning telling me to be aware of the crowds making their way into central London...


----------



## MrSki (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## Elpenor (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> 250 candles positioned in shape of The Queen in Orpington
> 
> 
> 250 twinkling candles making a picture of HM The Queen was placed by members of the Orpington community last night.
> ...


My dad used to be the chair of that residents association, I don’t think that would have happened on his watch


----------



## T & P (Sep 19, 2022)




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## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

T & P said:


> View attachment 343539


All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 19, 2022)

DaphneM said:


> It’s not real tho…


No shit Daphne.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 19, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> You may not know this but Lowkey is a raging anti-Semite. He might be making good points but he’s full of shit about a lot of things


It wasn't that I was highlighting, it was more about the bootstrap cook going down in my estimations. Don't know much about lowkey. Another shitbag then.


----------



## extra dry (Sep 19, 2022)

Orang Utan said:


> All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
> All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
> All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
> All play and no work makes Charlie a dull boy
> ...


So this, this is content?


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 19, 2022)

extra dry said:


> So this, this is content?


certainly is


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 19, 2022)

8ball said:


> Character building.


The old ones are the best. The classic 'character building' cover for 'being a cunt to young kids'. 

However, from what I saw they didn't walk behind. The news article I read got that wrong, so that's my fault for believing the worst of William.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 19, 2022)

Some manky old BTP filth was invited, but was let down when the trains went to shit...









						Queen Elizabeth II funeral: Bristol man misses out as trains cancelled
					

Barry Boffy says "events conspired against me" after he was invited to be a guest at the service.



					www.bbc.co.uk
				







			
				bacon said:
			
		

> "Ultimately there isn't anything I can do about it, to change the circumstances, it is still a huge honour and privilege, just to have been invited, so *I will treasure that, the memory of the opportunity to have been there.*"


----------



## two sheds (Sep 19, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> My dad used to be the chair of that residents association, I don’t think that would have happened on his watch


fire risk?


----------



## MrSki (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## Gromit (Sep 19, 2022)

MrSki said:


>



Stealing my material.

My gag was;

Worst Grand Prix evar
Only one qualifying car
Safety car replaced by bikes
Entire race run under a yellow flag.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## skyscraper101 (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


>










Sadness in his eyes.


----------



## bcuster (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## quiet guy (Sep 19, 2022)

AverageJoe said:


> View attachment 343530


He's in witness protection, that's why he's had his face hidden by a lightshade


----------



## The39thStep (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## Serge Forward (Sep 19, 2022)

Cloo said:


> I think this was a good, and respectful to people's actual feelings, reflection on the 'grief' narrative:
> 
> 
> 
> People outside the royal family (and perhaps some of the close household) aren't going through shock and bargaining and depression etc - they're just a bit sad, dimished, reflective.



Isn't that her off the Tube?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


>




"The corgis have no idea what's going on"


Make your mind up


----------



## two sheds (Sep 19, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> "The corgis have no idea what's going on"


That was an earlier, unconfirmed report.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 19, 2022)

Artaxerxes said:


> "The corgis have no idea what's going on"
> 
> 
> Make your mind up


Good job, they'd slit they're paws if they knew who their new owner was..


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 19, 2022)

I reckon most of us have been there.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 19, 2022)




----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 19, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I reckon most of us have been there.




was this magic stick always that fragile, or did they saw most of the way through it so it would break easily?


----------



## brogdale (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> was this magic stick always that fragile, or did they saw most of the way through it so it would break easily?


Hold on; a wand?

Really? Was/is someone a wizard?


----------



## elbows (Sep 19, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Hold on; a wand?
> 
> Really? Was/is someone a wizard?


Well the current Lord Chamberlain was once head of MI5.

Anyway....



> The Wand of Office is a thin white staff, owned by Lord Chamberlin, which was once meant to be a device used to discipline courtiers if they were too rowdy.











						Explained: What is the ‘Wand of Office’ and why will it be broken for the Queen
					

Lord Chamberlain, Andrew Parker, will symbolically break his wand of office at the Queen’s funeral




					www.independent.co.uk
				




First time its been televised since last time the monarch died the tv was black and white so snooker coverage was trickier.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

oddly today looking at the news at work and hearing from facebook fan family mostly

loads of shite about Biden looking old

had to point out to some at work that trump is 4 years younger and aside from a prema tan and tv training 

comes across as a bigger cunt that biden would of today


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


>




have to feel sorry for the little buggers

their sense of smell is some much stronger than the rest of us
the lead lined coffin would do nothing


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 19, 2022)

also feel sorry for Gyles Brandreth

most amount of work he had in years


----------



## petee (Sep 20, 2022)

it's so obvious now!


----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 20, 2022)

I’m in a wild swimming group on FB for the Yorks Dales.
Bloke posts up his photo diary from yesterday - 34 mile bike ride, meetup with another swimmer, dip in a stunning rock pool under a waterfall and food cooked on his camping stove. Felt slightly jealous tbh, seeing as I worked 9-9.
Random man posts up, ‘You should have been a royalist watching the funeral like 99% of folk. The only forgiveness is if you did FFY. You can become a republican the day after.’
😬
I’ve seen so fucking much of this, in the past 10 days, posted by random men of a certain age.


----------



## killer b (Sep 20, 2022)

that could easily be sarcasm tbf. what does FFY mean?


----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 20, 2022)

killer b said:


> that could easily be sarcasm tbf. what does FFY mean?


Fortunately For You. Judging by his profile, no, I think he meant it. Everyone has ignored him. No pile on, which is nice.


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 20, 2022)

My step mum put photos of the funeral, on TV, on her FB, with the tagline 'it makes you proud to be British.'

They live in France.


----------



## A380 (Sep 20, 2022)

Satire is dead:



Danbury Mint…


----------



## A380 (Sep 20, 2022)

Well, this is my Christmas presents sorted:






						Queen Elizabeth Memorial
					

Danbury Mint UK




					www.danburymint.co.uk
				





Queen Elizabeth II Memorial Plate.


----------



## prunus (Sep 20, 2022)

A380 said:


> Well, this is my Christmas presents sorted:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



“Eat it off my face”


----------



## Santino (Sep 20, 2022)

prunus said:


> “Eat it off my face”


"Eat if off OUR face"


----------



## prunus (Sep 20, 2022)

Santino said:


> "Eat if off OUR face"



You’re right, sorry, I was being most disrespectful 😞


----------



## A380 (Sep 20, 2022)

Santino said:


> "Eat if off OUR face"



I think you will find that it’s:

‘Eat it off One’s face.’


----------



## clicker (Sep 20, 2022)




----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 20, 2022)

Find it hard to distinguish sincerity from satire these days. Got no idea what this is.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 20, 2022)

Flags wrinkled - I can't see any problems with that flag.
WP = Westminister palace.
45 - end of the war.
(19)97 - Spice girls release "mama"

That is more obvious


----------



## MickiQ (Sep 20, 2022)

petee said:


> it's so obvious now!


Just don't get it what sort of secret message is whoever is behind this trying to convey? 
It always seem odd to me that the Illuminati will go to such complex methods to send each other a message, what's wrong with a phone call or an email?


----------



## petee (Sep 20, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Just don't get it what sort of secret message is whoever is behind this trying to convey?



neither do i, but it fits the "unhinged" category.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 20, 2022)

Serge Forward said:


> Isn't that her off the Tube?



She has done one or two things over the years since..!


----------



## Clair De Lune (Sep 20, 2022)

People at work kept asking me if I'd watched the funeral today. Was hard to arrange my face into anything other than 'fuck no, why on earth would I?' But I tried my best


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 20, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Just don't get it what sort of secret message is whoever is behind this trying to convey?
> It always seem odd to me that the Illuminati will go to such complex methods to send each other a message, what's wrong with a phone call or an email?


They never answer that part. Ooh look, things all add up to a number and possibly a word for next week's Wordle. "To what end?" Oh we can't tell you that!


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 20, 2022)

clicker said:


> View attachment 343696


I really want this


----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 20, 2022)

extra dry said:


> So this, this is content?


So that’s four people who either haven’t seen The Shining or didn’t get it. 
For shame. This place is going to hell in a handcart.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 20, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Find it hard to distinguish sincerity from satire these days. Got no idea what this is.





That's Diamond Geezer Dave, "I met the queen, she was just so normal, just like you or *me*"


----------



## pinkmonkey (Sep 20, 2022)

Clair De Lune said:


> People at work kept asking me if I'd watched the funeral today. Was hard to arrange my face into anything other than 'fuck no, why on earth would I?' But I tried my best


I watched 5 mins of it on Youtube this aft, so I’ll be able to say something about it to my client who thinks I was in mourning all day yesterday, in reality I was completing their stuff in peace. No emails or calls. Bliss! 
My mum said she watched it yesterday and ,’even your dad watched a bit’ 😆 I know she probably made him, so I watched the bit where they took the crown off the coffin, because mum said it was moving.


----------



## Clair De Lune (Sep 20, 2022)

pinkmonkey said:


> I watched 5 mins of it on Youtube this aft, so I’ll be able to say something about it to my client who thinks I was in mourning all day yesterday, in reality I was completing their stuff in peace. No emails or calls. Bliss!
> My mum said she watched it yesterday and ,’even your dad watched a bit’ 😆 I know she probably made him, so I watched the bit where they took the crown off the coffin, because mum said it was moving.


One teacher was really prying and my mind went kinda blank and for some reason I said 'I felt for the dogs'   Appearing heartless wouldn't have been good.


----------



## brogdale (Sep 20, 2022)

Clair De Lune said:


> One teacher was really prying and my mind went kinda blank and for some reason I said 'I felt for the dogs'   Appearing heartless wouldn't have been good.


Urbz attempts at 'passing' IRL as though you watched the mourn-fest almost deserves a thread of its own.


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 20, 2022)

I've been asked today. I had my excuse ready, I was on a train, sadly (not sadly!).


----------



## Sue (Sep 20, 2022)

brogdale said:


> Urbz attempts at 'passing' IRL as though you watched the mourn-fest almost deserves a thread of its own.


Yep, given my family and friends are all , it's easy to forget loads of people are not despite all the coverage (especially as I'm ignoring the news etc).


----------



## 8ball (Sep 20, 2022)

pinkmonkey said:


> My mum said she watched it yesterday and ,’even your dad watched a bit’ 😆 I know she probably made him, so I watched the bit where they took the crown off the coffin, because mum said it was moving.



Well duuh…

How can they possibly take it off the coffin without it moving.


----------



## emanymton (Sep 20, 2022)

Clair De Lune said:


> People at work kept asking me if I'd watched the funeral today. Was hard to arrange my face into anything other than 'fuck no, why on earth would I?' But I tried my best


Should have just looked confused and said "what funeral?"


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 20, 2022)




----------



## Orang Utan (Sep 20, 2022)

I failed to bite my lip about it at work last week, so I doubt I’ll get asked tomorrow, even though my co-worker is an ardent Royalist


----------



## not a trot (Sep 20, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 343732



Is the one on the right supposed to be Ena Sharples ?


----------



## danski (Sep 20, 2022)

My site manager, on mentioning that I didn’t watch it as I’d have found it depressing, said “you should be proud”.
I just walked off.
I think it may have brought back stuff from his mum dying fairly recently.
Proper gammons that I work with though.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Is the one on the right supposed to be Ena Sharples ?


It's Ethel without her tea cosy hat


----------



## SysOut (Sep 20, 2022)

not a trot said:


> Is the one on the right supposed to be Ena Sharples ?


I wondered too who she is.
There are two Windsors.
Is she a third?


----------



## nottsgirl (Sep 20, 2022)

They still had the grief signs up at Tescos when I went earlier. Expressing condolences to the royal family.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 20, 2022)

nottsgirl said:


> They still had the grief signs up at Tescos when I went earlier. Expressing condolences to the royal family.


Through the medium of Value gammon?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 20, 2022)

I managed to get to work on someone's garden ( 94 yr old heil reader) I asked her would it be okay and she said it's my garden what are they going to do. I told her I was anti monarchy, but that didn't stop her zimmering out every ten minutes shouting me updates. ' well, Camilla is older than charles' , ' George looks glum' .
I shouted have you seen charles' sausage fingers' and she said urghh yeh, not aged well has he'.


----------



## T & P (Sep 20, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I managed to get to work on someone's garden ( 94 yr old heil reader) I asked her would it be okay and she said it's my garden what are they going to do. I told her I was anti monarchy, but that didn't stop her zimmering out every ten minutes shouting me updates. ' well, Camilla is older than charles' , ' George looks glum' .
> I shouted have you seen charles' sausage fingers' and she said urghh yeh, not aged well has he'.


I like her. Sounds like she was watching it for the show, rather than out of grief


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 20, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I managed to get to work on someone's garden ( 94 yr old heil reader) I asked her would it be okay and she said it's my garden what are they going to do. I told her I was anti monarchy, but that didn't stop her zimmering out every ten minutes shouting me updates. ' well, Camilla is older than charles' , ' George looks glum' .
> I shouted have you seen charles' sausage fingers' and she said urghh yeh, not aged well has he'.





T & P said:


> I like her. Sounds like she was watching it for the show, rather than out of grief


Sounds like a lady with a firm gaze looking futurewards towards an epic crack binge in <checks watch> around two years 😎


----------



## two sheds (Sep 20, 2022)

Tempted to answer any questions with "Yes of course I've been celebrating the queen's death".


----------



## Looby (Sep 20, 2022)

The one thing that has actually made me feel a bit sad (apart from maybe the grandchildren being upset) was the pony stood by the side on the long walk. It was her favourite and that lonely pony made my heart hurt a bit. 😄

But I gave myself a talking to, called a few people a cunt and I’m all good again.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 20, 2022)

will admit a pang of sorrow for the corgi dogs

they could smell her being there

now with nonce king stand in


----------



## ouirdeaux (Sep 20, 2022)

MickiQ said:


> Just don't get it what sort of secret message is whoever is behind this trying to convey?
> It always seem odd to me that the Illuminati will go to such complex methods to send each other a message, what's wrong with a phone call or an email?



I have wondered about this for years. I came to the conclusion that, dastardly as they are, they play fair -- they leave clues so that those sitting in their pants in their parents' basement have a chance of working it all out.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 20, 2022)

ouirdeaux said:


> I have wondered about this for years. I came to the conclusion that, dastardly as they are, they play fair -- they leave clues so that those sitting in their pants in their parents' basement have a chance of working it all out.


We don't know.

What is said between the monarch and the PM each week, and in the Privy Councils is secret.
However, it is clear that upper parts of the state such as the armed forces and secret services answer to the monarch. Indeed, belong to the same class as the aristocrasy.

The PR for the Monarch started, according to someone on the BBC long ago, in the Victorian age. The Royal Family became a model for the nw powerful bourgoisie. It could also have something to with the relations with the USA - the Long Apppeasement better known as the Special Relationship.

Part of that PR was the reviving or highlighting the hocus pocus of tradition, which fitted in well with the rise of romanticism, spiritualism and the belief in fairies.

But the fact is that we do not know in what way the the monarchy influences policy but must rely entirely on the media, who are, of course, loyal to the staus quo.

Since the beginning of the 20th century we live in a propaganda bubble, which starts off with the myth about how that word got its current meaning.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 20, 2022)

Wonderful if true. Even tho Welby is a Tory ballbag as well.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 20, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 343732




Have had harder wanks.


----------



## flypanam (Sep 20, 2022)

nottsgirl said:


> They still had the grief signs up at Tescos when I went earlier. Expressing condolences to the royal family.


Don’t they know Xmas is only 16(?) weeks away?


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 20, 2022)

Looks like Trudeau is guilty of disrespectfully singing two days before a funeral!









						Trudeau’s team defend Bohemian Rhapsody rendition before Queen’s funeral
					

Clip of Canadian prime minister singing in London hotel two days before funeral has sparked criticism




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Sue (Sep 20, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Looks like Trudeau is guilty of disrespectfully singing two days before a funeral!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The worse than Hitler thread is thataway =>.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 20, 2022)

Have we had Trumps rants about where Biden was seated for the service yet?


----------



## SysOut (Sep 20, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> Looks like Trudeau is guilty of disrespectfully singing two days before a funeral!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well he is a subject of the monarch....


----------



## Elpenor (Sep 20, 2022)

SysOut said:


> Well he is a subject of the monarch....


He should have been briefed of the no-busking rule on the tube. 

Tbh I’m surprised people weren’t arrested for smiling over the weekend


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 20, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Have we had Trumps rants about where Biden was seated for the service yet?


He was positioned behind the Commonwealth leaders, as they have precedence ar times like this. Let's be grateful Trump was not there to argue that toss.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 20, 2022)

He'd just have elbowed his way to the front and sat on the coffin.


----------



## Yossarian (Sep 20, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Have we had Trumps rants about where Biden was seated for the service yet?



_This is what’s happened to America in just two short years. No respect! However, a good time for our President to get to know the leaders of certain Third World countries. If I were president, they wouldn’t have sat me back there—and our Country would be much different than it is right now!_

What a tool. Biden was seated next to the president of Switzerland, it's a good thing Trump wasn't there to try to grab a closer seat and order Black leaders to sit at the back of the abbey.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 20, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> He was positioned behind the Commonwealth leaders, as they have precedence ar times like this. Let's be grateful Trump was not there to argue that toss.



if that twat had still been president, they would have told him it was happening at st paul's cathedral...


----------



## Wilf (Sep 20, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> View attachment 343732


June Brown doesn't look convinced.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Sep 21, 2022)

two sheds said:


> He'd just have elbowed his way to the front and sat on the coffin.



Why wasn't the Dean of Westminster talking about Hunter Biden? That's what I want to know.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 21, 2022)

SysOut said:


> Since the beginning of the 20th century we live in a propaganda bubble, which starts off with the myth about how that word got its current meaning.


Since the invention of broadcast TV. The function of what they show you. It's amazing, it's almost psychosis.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 21, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> That's Diamond Geezer Dave, "I met the queen, she was just so normal, just like you or *me*"


you mean? She's not magic?


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 21, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> you mean? She's not magic?


Last couple of weeks has been a prime case of  magical royalism


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 21, 2022)

She has 3 days to reappear or I shall begin to think we have all been taken for mugs and we shall feel very foolish indeed.


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 21, 2022)

Yossarian said:


> _This is what’s happened to America in just two short years. No respect! However, a good time for our President to get to know the leaders of certain Third World countries. If I were president, they wouldn’t have sat me back there—and our Country would be much different than it is right now!_
> 
> What a tool. Biden was seated next to the president of Switzerland, it's a good thing Trump wasn't there to try to grab a closer seat and order Black leaders to sit at the back of the abbey.



does sound like he is finally admitting that he lost to Biden , should stick to grifting his little bunch on one finger saluting Nazis


----------



## SysOut (Sep 21, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> Since the invention of broadcast TV. The function of what they show you. It's amazing, it's almost psychosis.


Popular papers started at the beginning of the 20th century.
Then came cinemas, showing news reels and then BBC's monopoly on radio which started in the 1920s and lasted until the 1970s (?).
BBC tv claimed independence from advertising, while the newly allowed commercial tv, dependent on advertising, called itself ITV - Independent TV.
We mustn't forget the value of popular fiction and pop music to spread views and attitudes either.

No need anymore for the vicar in the pulpit to keep the population right-thinking!


----------



## May Kasahara (Sep 21, 2022)




----------



## 8ball (Sep 21, 2022)

DaveCinzano said:


> Last couple of weeks has been a prime case of  magical royalism



I’m stealing that term.


----------



## The Octagon (Sep 21, 2022)

Maffs.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 21, 2022)

8ball said:


> I’m stealing that term.


We prefer to call it 'colonising'


----------



## Wilf (Sep 21, 2022)

The Octagon said:


> View attachment 343835
> 
> 
> Maffs.


Have to say, I don't believe a fucking word of that.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 21, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Have to say, I don't believe a fucking word of that.


I'd be willing to bet the majority of humanity doesn't own a tv, it's only us privileged capitalist filth


----------



## Wilf (Sep 21, 2022)

8ball said:


> I’m stealing that term.


In another month : 'A corgi puppy, free to a good home. I was caught up in the magical royalism'.


----------



## SysOut (Sep 21, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> I'd be willing to bet the majority of humanity doesn't own a tv, it's only us privileged capitalist filth


Nor did they have a bank holiday


----------



## SysOut (Sep 21, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Have to say, I don't believe a fucking word of that.


Me neither. Love to know their sources.
Perhaps they can say what the people were wearing and eating as well.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 21, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> I'd be willing to bet the majority of humanity doesn't own a tv, it's only us privileged capitalist filth


Even if the majority of humanity have access to a telly or some kind of device, I just doubt that they'll all have been up for watching this royal shite.  For example a 63% figure must have the majority of Chinese people watching dead brenda.  Also, how many of the 86 million Iranians, for example?  Not suggesting they are locked out of watching the box by their government and there will be interest, but 63%?? Then, as you say plenty of people with more significant struggles going on in their lives.


----------



## Wilf (Sep 21, 2022)

I can't be arsed being a proper fact checker and chasing it through to the original tweets, but it's clearly bollocks:









						Fake statistic wrongly claims 5.1 billion tuned into the Queen's funeral
					

Queen Elizabeth was laid to rest on Monday and a fake viewing figure about her funeral has gone viral online.




					www.hitc.com


----------



## Wilf (Sep 21, 2022)

Another claim about the numbers 'expected' to watch, also bollocks/made up:









						Did several billion people watch the Queen’s funeral? - Full Fact
					

Various claims about worldwide TV viewing figures have been reported, but they don’t appear to have been clearly evidenced.




					fullfact.org


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 21, 2022)

The Octagon said:


> View attachment 343835
> 
> 
> Maffs.



at least 4.5 billion of that was quick 5 seconds views followed by "is this shite still on!!!!!"


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 21, 2022)

Wilf said:


> Have to say, I don't believe a fucking word of that.


The bbc has this fascination with lying about viewing figures. Claiming they can work out how many people are viewing a particular broadcast. I have not seen this behavior in any other country.
It struck me last year as they claimed 20 million people tuned in to see the final queens speech/cgi hologram.


----------



## maomao (Sep 21, 2022)

They'll have sold footage to big international news networks and just added up what they reckon the viewing figures for that country's news shows are. So CCTV show 10 seconds on their international round up and they'll have added 900,000,000 to the figures. Tbf, I wouldn't be surprised if that was approximately the number of people who watched a tv channel on which part of the funeral was shown, however briefly.


----------



## Chz (Sep 21, 2022)

It was already on More Or Less this morning that it was total bollocks. The BBC as a whole might be bad at maths, but we'll always have More Or Less.


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 21, 2022)

It's Huw trying to big up his part as opposed to Dan on channel 5


----------



## quiet guy (Sep 21, 2022)




----------



## pbsmooth (Sep 21, 2022)

UK TV ratings are literally still done by people ticking a box on a piece of paper. MOTWYW.


----------



## BigMoaner (Sep 21, 2022)

The Octagon said:


> View attachment 343835
> 
> 
> Maffs.


Jesus that is mad. Jesus.


----------



## killer b (Sep 21, 2022)

The BBC didn't report that 5.1 billion people watched the funeral guys


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 21, 2022)

quiet guy said:


> View attachment 343908



Cursed image but I’m laughing


----------



## Ming (Sep 21, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I managed to get to work on someone's garden ( 94 yr old heil reader) I asked her would it be okay and she said it's my garden what are they going to do. I told her I was anti monarchy, but that didn't stop her zimmering out every ten minutes shouting me updates. ' well, Camilla is older than charles' , ' George looks glum' .
> I shouted have you seen charles' sausage fingers' and she said urghh yeh, not aged well has he'.


’Zimmering out’ ! Genuine rofl!!


----------



## T & P (Sep 21, 2022)

Boris Sprinkler said:


> The bbc has this fascination with lying about viewing figures. Claiming they can work out how many people are viewing a particular broadcast. I have not seen this behavior in any other country.
> It struck me last year as they claimed 20 million people tuned in to see the final queens speech/cgi hologram.


FWIW everyone else is also at it when trying to push their own narratives. Like when those promoting the Super Bowl or the football World Cup final claim the game is watched by  a good couple of billion people around the world. The flying fuck it is. At best, the event is broadcast on channels across countries which combined populations add up to tge quoted figures.


----------



## pogofish (Sep 21, 2022)

I think its an old one but this piece of shit has risen its head again:


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 21, 2022)

What the fuck was he on? 
Obvious dickhead jumping to his defence.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 21, 2022)




----------



## 8ball (Sep 22, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> What the fuck was he on?
> Obvious dickhead jumping to his defence.




This is like a Russian doll of knobbishness.

So what if someone laughs about something during or before or after a funeral?

It’s the closest to anything remotely endearing that he’s ever done that I’m aware of.


----------



## two sheds (Sep 22, 2022)

Yes but this was ... the Queen's ... funeral. You noticed that and the outpouring of national grief didn't you?


----------



## 8ball (Sep 22, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Yes but this was ... the Queen's ... funeral. You noticed that and the outpouring of national grief didn't you?



Are you saying I’m suffering from a lack of empathy for people who value the Royal Family?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 22, 2022)

8ball said:


> This is like a Russian doll of knobbishness.
> 
> So what if someone laughs about something during or before or after a funeral?
> 
> It’s the closest to anything remotely endearing that he’s ever done that I’m aware of.


I'm not sure that anything that cunt does can be described as endearing. 
I'd have whole heartily applauded him if he'd deployed a whoopee cushion. 
The point is, he turned up off his tits and if had been any other person there would have been a media lynching.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Sep 22, 2022)

two sheds said:


> Yes but this was ... the Queen's ... funeral. You noticed that and the outpouring of national grief didn't you?


He thought it was kwartangs nan.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 22, 2022)

I mean we all had a good chuckle at the absurdity of the bollocks so I really don't give a fuck.


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 22, 2022)

8ball said:


> Are you saying I’m suffering from a lack of empathy for people who value the Royal Family?


----------



## Storm Fox (Sep 22, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> What the fuck was he on?
> Obvious dickhead jumping to his defence.




It's one thing taking the piss out of the royal family and the absurdity of the whole thing, totally another rocking up to a funeral service of a 97-year-old (even if it is stupidly OTT) looking like you are off your tits. If you can't be serious, claim you have COVID and stay away.


----------



## seeformiles (Sep 22, 2022)

8ball said:


> This is like a Russian doll of knobbishness.
> 
> So what if someone laughs about something during or before or after a funeral?
> 
> It’s the closest to anything remotely endearing that he’s ever done that I’m aware of.


I burst out laughing at my gran’s funeral. The minister taking the service painted a picture of someone warm-hearted and wonderful - when she was the exact opposite. I hid my face in my hands trying to disguise it as a sob and someone in the row behind put their hand on my shoulder to comfort me. Awkward doesn’t begin to cover it.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 22, 2022)

8ball said:


> So what if someone laughs about something during or before or after a funeral?





two sheds said:


> Yes but this was ... the Queen's ... funeral. You noticed that and the outpouring of national grief didn't you?





Calamity1971 said:


> The point is, he turned up off his tits and if had been any other person there would have been a media lynching.



indeed.  

can imagine the 'news' if they had decided keir starmer had not looked sad enough...

or if jeremy corbyn had still been leader when it happened it would all somehow have been his fault


----------



## Boris Sprinkler (Sep 22, 2022)

I would have defintely been off my tits if i had been invited. That's what sunglasses are for. Given the closest I have been to the queen is sticking various rolled up renditions of her image up my nose. They can't have it both ways. Either we to choose to live in a narko state or we don't.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 22, 2022)

I hope he turns up pissed tomorrow to deliver his crap budget


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 23, 2022)

Glad these pricks are getting a kicking even if its for the weirdest reason. Kinda strange to promote an equality norm in the context of grovelling before the corpse of an unelected monarch who issued orders from a golden throne and lived a life of extraordinary opulence because of the family she was born in to. 









						Holly and Phil's apology 'spectacularly backfires' amid backlash
					

Sources at The Morning have admitted their on-screen 'apology' on Tuesday 'spectacularly backfired'




					www.leicestermercury.co.uk


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 24, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Glad these pricks are getting a kicking even if its for the weirdest reason. Kinda strange to promote an equality norm in the context of grovelling before the corpse of an unelected monarch who issued orders from a golden throne and lived a life of extraordinary opulence because of the family she was born in to.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You realise it's all manufactured outrage? 

Also why is Holly in the firing line but Phil not so much?



It's because Schofield is still loyal to his press agents that the tabloids want to stay on the good side of, but Willoughby won a million quid settlement from them so is not protected:









						Phillip Schofield | YMU Group
					

YMU Group is the management agency for Phillip Schofield. For bookings and all other enquiries, please get in touch with our team today.




					entertainment.ymugroup.com
				











						Holly Willoughby's £1m win in legal battle with ex-agents
					

THIS Morning host Holly Willoughby is on course to pocket a £1.25million fortune - after settling an 18-month legal battle with her former agency.




					www.express.co.uk


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 24, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> You realise it's all manufactured outrage?



Yes?


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 24, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Yes?



But you're glad the pricks are getting a kicking, especially the woman, because....?


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 24, 2022)

Calamity1971 said:


> I'm not sure that anything that cunt does can be described as endearing.
> I'd have whole heartily applauded him if he'd deployed a whoopee cushion.
> The point is, he turned up off his tits and if had been any other person there would have been a media lynching.



Because the media have now been told he has ADHD or some such, is why he wasn't lynched.


----------



## danski (Sep 24, 2022)

Nicked from b3ta.com


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 24, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> But you're glad the pricks are getting a kicking, especially the woman, because....?



They're pricks


----------



## platinumsage (Sep 24, 2022)

Jeff Robinson said:


> They're pricks



Because...?


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 24, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Also why is Holly in the firing line but Phil not so much?


Women are held to different (higher) standards and get blamed more for transgressing them.



platinumsage said:


> But you're glad the pricks are getting a kicking


I'm barely aware of what's happening with this, except they're real unpopular right now, and sure it's manufactured. Barely aware of them at all tbh, they're on the tellybox I believe?   I liked Jeff Robinson's post for this bit, not the remark about being glad they're getting a kicking. I don't gaf either way.



Jeff Robinson said:


> Kinda strange to promote an equality norm in the context of grovelling before the corpse of an unelected monarch who issued orders from a golden throne and lived a life of extraordinary opulence because of the family she was born in to.



I'm only joining in this hoo-ha cos I've been on hold listening to annoying music for 20 mins now


----------



## 8ball (Sep 24, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> Women are held to different (higher) standards and get blamed more for transgressing them.



Pfft!

Holly was def the instigator.
Just look at her eyes.


----------



## Karl Masks (Sep 24, 2022)

8ball said:


> Pfft!
> 
> Holly was def the instigator.
> Just look at her eyes.


why else was she masked? Couldn't have been covid because that's not real


----------



## 8ball (Sep 24, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> why else was she masked? Couldn't have been covid because that's not real



Good question, but you can still see the shifty eyes.  Should have worn a motorcycle helmet.

Maybe was just to disguise her cackles at our Dead Queen.


----------



## PR1Berske (Sep 24, 2022)




----------



## elbows (Sep 24, 2022)




----------



## Jeff Robinson (Sep 25, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> Because...?



e.g. This Morning drops Spin to Win energy bill prizes following backlash


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 25, 2022)

Karl Masks said:


> I hope he turns up pissed tomorrow to deliver his crap budget


He did.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 25, 2022)

platinumsage said:


> You realise it's all manufactured outrage?
> 
> Also why is Holly in the firing line but Phil not so much?
> 
> ...


You read Popbitch last week too aye?


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Sep 25, 2022)

God, the tabloid press is poisonous.  They won't be satisfied until they hound another person in the public eye to commit suicide.  Then they can start another Be Kind campaign.


----------



## DaveCinzano (Sep 25, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> God, the tabloid press is poisonous.  They won't be satisfied until they hound another person in the public eye to commit suicide.


Unless it's a _Sun_ journalist who killed his wife


----------



## Ax^ (Sep 25, 2022)

ElizabethofYork said:


> God, the tabloid press is poisonous.  They won't be satisfied until they hound another person in the public eye to commit suicide.  Then they can start another Be Kind campaign.



typical service has resume Megan bad being the main story in most of the papers today


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 25, 2022)

UK broadcasters battle monarchy over control of Queen’s memorial footage
					

Palace has said TV channels can only retain an hour of footage from events during the mourning period




					www.theguardian.com
				




20000 hours of enforced mourning.

1 hour of footage publicly licensed.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 25, 2022)

That is such a strange story. The channels should say to the palace 'OK, next time an event is being covered, we will film it for one hour max, and then we'll shout 'cut' and down tools, so you can have the final copy of the entire broadcast couriered over almost immediately'.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 25, 2022)

I don't have the mental strength to read this thread, so forgive me if you've seen something like this, but following a death I looked at the online local paper from my hometown, and the family notices are full of notices re the Queen's death. They have paid to do this...


----------



## chainsawjob (Sep 26, 2022)

UrbaneFox said:


> I don't have the mental strength to read this thread, so forgive me if you've seen something like this, but following a death I looked at the online local paper from my hometown, and the family notices are full of notices re the Queen's death. They have paid to do this...


I've been sent condolences from an American person I barely know. Someone who doesn't normally communicate with me, who I just come across in my job. Why?!!


----------



## kabbes (Sep 26, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I've been sent condolences from an American person I barely know. Someone who doesn't normally communicate with me, who I just come across in my job. Why?!!


Respond with a 1000 word green ink missive about how devastated you are


----------



## SysOut (Sep 26, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I've been sent condolences from an American person I barely know. Someone who doesn't normally communicate with me, who I just come across in my job. Why?!!


because they watch too much hero or religious stuff.


----------



## moochedit (Sep 26, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I've been sent condolences from an American person I barely know. Someone who doesn't normally communicate with me, who I just come across in my job. Why?!!


They've seen crying loons outside buckingham palace on the news and assume everyone in the uk is the same.


----------



## elbows (Sep 26, 2022)

moochedit said:


> They've seen crying loons outside buckingham palace on the news and assume everyone in the uk is the same.



Yes I watch some small niche online youtube livestream shows about synths and some American guests were anticipating UK guests being more affected by the Queens death news than was actually the case. Could see them testing the waters and quickly discovering that few shits were given, and that the shows would carry on much as normal, in contrast to the big deal made about this event on television.


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 26, 2022)

chainsawjob said:


> I've been sent condolences from an American person I barely know. Someone who doesn't normally communicate with me, who I just come across in my job. Why?!!


Send them a little link to something you've got on your Amazon wish list, with a note saying it would really cheer you up if they'd be so kind.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Sep 27, 2022)

At Holyhead Marina cafe, Sandra Armstrong, 44, gave the princess a brooch of a rose because she said "she'll be a fantastic Princess of Wales". 
She added: "They are inspiring. It felt not real to meet them."

How low status can a person be?


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 28, 2022)

Well that'll be in the bin as soon as they're out of sight. One thing Kate Middleton will never need is the kind of jewellery that a Welsh cafe worker can afford.


----------



## A380 (Sep 28, 2022)

Tanya1982 said:


> Well that'll be in the bin as soon as they're out of sight. One thing Kate Middleton will never need is the kind of jewellery that a Welsh cafe worker can afford.


But its a Welsh MARINA cafe...


----------



## Tanya1982 (Sep 28, 2022)

A380 said:


> But its a Welsh MARINA cafe...


A cup of tea and a free cake - and a clean, private toilet to regurgitate it into before leaving - would've been cheaper for Sandra, and probably much more appreciated by the Princess of Wales.


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## hitmouse (Oct 14, 2022)

Since there doesn't seem to be any big news stories or anything happening today, I have decided to spend the day looking into Preston local news from a month or so ago. Does anyone know if other clubs have been handing out lifetime bans for fans posting stuff about the Queen on twitter, or was that just Preston North End?








						Preston North End give lifetime ban to fan for tweets about the Queen
					

One of the tweets that earned the fan a lifetime ban    Preston North End have given a lifetime ban to a fan who tweeted about the Queen.    The fan, who asked




					www.blogpreston.co.uk


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## hitmouse (Dec 18, 2022)

Have people seen the Canadian goth money?


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## Ax^ (Dec 18, 2022)

want !!!


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## Tanya1982 (Dec 18, 2022)

That’s quite stylish. I rather like it.


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## brogdale (Dec 18, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> Have people seen the Canadian goth money?


Alex Ferguson again!


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## brogdale (Dec 18, 2022)

Fucking Trumpton dolts


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## krink (Dec 26, 2022)

Is that coin real? I can't tell anymore.


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## PR1Berske (Dec 26, 2022)

krink said:


> Is that coin real? I can't tell anymore.


Apparently










						Here’s a first look at the new $2 coin commemorating Queen Elizabeth II - National | Globalnews.ca
					

The black ring on the new $2 coin is supposed to be 'reminiscent of a mourning armband,' according to a press release from the Royal Canadian Mint.




					globalnews.ca


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## krink (Dec 28, 2022)

PR1Berske said:


> Apparently
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I hope so as I totally need one.


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## steveo87 (Dec 28, 2022)

hitmouse said:


> Have people seen the Canadian goth money?


Thats my metal band name sorted.


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## danny la rouge (Dec 28, 2022)

steveo87 said:


> Thats my metal band name sorted.


“Glad the Old Broad Died”?


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## Raheem (Dec 28, 2022)

danny la rouge said:


> “Glad the Old Broad Died”?


"Black Ring Will Honour", surely.


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