# Hollyoaks thread



## tar1984 (Feb 25, 2008)

ok, if we can have a nighbours thread then surely a hollyoaks thread is called for.  

ive missed a lot of episodes recently so only have a vague idea of whats going on with the michela/fletch heroin storyline.  did someone inject michela with it when she was asleep?  if so who, and why?  

once fletch found the gear, did he get round to trying it, or get busted before he got the chance?


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## Ranbay (Feb 25, 2008)

not sure all i know is,

week one - she smoked pot
week three - she did speed or pills
week four - she smoke heroin....

Proving that if you smoke pot then you will do heroin FACT


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

OB's leaving! 

We like OB.


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## tar1984 (Feb 25, 2008)

lol

yeah i thought that was funny too.  hollyoaks clarifying the standard progression from cannabis to heroin within a four week timespan.


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## tar1984 (Feb 25, 2008)

Madusa said:


> OB's leaving!
> 
> We like OB.



i thought he was staying now? 

decided not to go to london or something.


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2008)

i watch hollyoaks but tend to switch off mentally when the michaela drug story comes on as i don't really like the characters involved. But this is what i think is happening...

that new guy Niall injected Michela with heroin. I think he is meant to be Myra's long lost son (although no one knows this yet) and he's a bit of psycho and obviously has a huge grudge against the whole family. 

Fletch and that other girl did try heroin. But they also got busted as they were staying with Amy and Ste and Ste found the gear down the toilet. 

OB is leaving this week. That's a storyline i'm more interested in. I think i'll be doing alot of crying.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Feb 25, 2008)

Madusa said:


> We like OB.



What is OBs name?


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2008)

tar1984 said:


> i thought he was staying now?
> 
> decided not to go to london or something.



he changed his mind. Realised he missed Summer too much and was just in the way in hollyoaks now Steph has moved in with Max. 

I love the way Max and OB constantly look like they're about to kiss


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

tar1984 said:


> i thought he was staying now?
> 
> decided not to go to london or something.



Well! Last week he told Max that he's actually decided to 'leave...maybe go travelling and feels like he just must' soooo, I think it's gonna be a Hollyoaks spesh this week which shows OB/Max and that on a trip to London to witness OB's bird's debut in a west end musical...but it all lies on whether she decides to go travelling with OB, whether OB stays in London for love, etc etc... 

Terribly exciting!


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## Belushi (Feb 25, 2008)

I've missed it the past couple of weeks, what happened with Nancy and whatsisface, did he try and rape her?


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> What is OBs name?



 OB innit!


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## Dillinger4 (Feb 25, 2008)

Old Bill.


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## Belushi (Feb 25, 2008)

O'Brian?


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

Belushi said:


> I've missed it the past couple of weeks, what happened with Nancy and whatsisface, did he try and rape her?



yes, he did. 

and then stopped her from seeing Charlie so now shes appealing to Justin to get custordy cos he's his real dad, innit. 

Fucking Jake and his weird lip thing. Makes me feel ill!


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## tar1984 (Feb 25, 2008)

sam o'brien


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2008)

Belushi said:


> I've missed it the past couple of weeks, what happened with Nancy and whatsisface, did he try and rape her?



yes. On their wedding night 
Jake and his wierd lip thing are repulsive.


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> he changed his mind. Realised he missed Summer too much and was just in the way in hollyoaks now Steph has moved in with Max.
> 
> I love the way Max and OB constantly look like they're about to kiss



innit! I think they should have got them to be gay. 

I love OB though. Anyone remember when he was on the verge of alcoholism...and isnt. 

KILL DARREN!!!!


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2008)

Remember when they went to parents evening at Tom's school, and the teachers assumed they were a couple 

i love max and OB


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## Ranbay (Feb 25, 2008)

Sam and Max... LOL


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Remember when they went to parents evening at Tom's school, and the teachers assumed they were a couple
> 
> i love max and OB



Yeah!

LOL. OB and Max 4eva!

I used to like Max but he sooo went down in my estimation when he was seeing Claire. She really brought the dufus out in him. OB could see right through her, so he could.

LOLZA! Now Claire's back in Eastenders as Nigel's Claire trying to get into Beale's pants! pmsl!


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2008)

moving on from lovely max and ob....

does anyone else think Father Kieron is really hot...? (or is it just me)


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> moving on from lovely max and ob....
> 
> does anyone else think Father Kieron is really hot...? (or is it just me)



dunno...have to see him again.

Look, I dont watch it *everyday* you know!


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## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2008)

Madusa said:


> dunno...have to see him again.
> 
> Look, I dont watch it *everyday* you know!




neither do i (er...honest)
It must be one of the most widely availble programmes ever though. You can watch it on Ch4, E4, E4+1, tv on demand or the omnibus. Bloody hell.


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## May Kasahara (Feb 25, 2008)

I am so disappointed that Darren got shot and didn't die  FFS Hollyoaks producers, sort it out!


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

yeah, I usually catch up with sundays omnibus on in the background as I'm pootling around.


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## ruffneck23 (Feb 25, 2008)

isnt Summer actually going to be in ' The sound of music ? ' I heard that they sneaked the actual performer into Hollyoaks and thats why andrew l webber agreed to do a cameo

or did i dream this ?


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## tar1984 (Feb 25, 2008)

^^^

this is true.


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## keithy (Feb 25, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> I am so disappointed that Darren got shot and didn't die  FFS Hollyoaks producers, sort it out!



I think I should take responsibility for this one... I always wanted him out but then when he got shot i wished he would survive. I couldn't help it! I couldn't help but think of ihs sensitive side that we've seen glimpses of in the past few months. 



Now we'll never get rid of him

I am crap.


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## Looby (Feb 25, 2008)

keithy said:


> I think I should take responsibility for this one... I always wanted him out but then when he got shot i wished he would survive. I couldn't help it! I couldn't help but think of ihs sensitive side that we've seen glimpses of in the past few months.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ffs, keithy.


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## keithy (Feb 25, 2008)

sparklefish said:


> Ffs, keithy.



I know, I've let everyone down  

What is it with me and compassion? fucking FREAK 

YOU ARE A FREAK KEITHY
YOU ARE A FREAK KEITHY


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## Kizmet (Feb 25, 2008)

Nooo.. Darren's a wicked character.  Surely we can't just be subjected to the inane stereotype that is Warren?


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## keithy (Feb 25, 2008)

That reminds me, what happened with the story with Darren's ex and Sarah/amy's Dad-who-weren't-fit-but-got-with-young-lass-then-i-wanted-him-to-touch-me-wet????


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## zoooo (Feb 25, 2008)

He's a right sex pot.
I don't know what's happening with them either?


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## foamy (Feb 25, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> I am so disappointed that Darren got shot and didn't die  FFS Hollyoaks producers, sort it out!



I am so disappointed that Darren got shot and we didn't even see any blood  maybe it was an elaborate ploy to ruin one of his dodgy shirts?


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## Madusa (Feb 25, 2008)

keithy said:


> That reminds me, what happened with the story with Darren's ex and Sarah/amy's Dad-who-weren't-fit-but-got-with-young-lass-then-i-wanted-him-to-touch-me-wet????



lol

Troof.


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## keithy (Feb 25, 2008)

Not the best pic but OH BOY


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## zoooo (Feb 25, 2008)

I wonder how old the actor is? I bet he's not that far off some of the 'students'.

Wow. Someone's been having fun writing his entry on wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Hirst


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## pengaleng (Feb 26, 2008)

Is anyone else shitbored of the fucking summer storyline, she's only on it to get publicity for her stupid fucking shitty musical  

it's WRONG.


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## 5t3IIa (Feb 26, 2008)

Even reading this thread makes my skin crawl. This is one of THE shittest prgrammes evar


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## ruffneck23 (Feb 26, 2008)

tribal_princess said:


> Is anyone else shitbored of the fucking summer storyline, she's only on it to get publicity for her stupid fucking shitty musical
> 
> it's WRONG.



dont worry its over this week , mind you i thinkz youre only bitter cos u luvs OB


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## pengaleng (Feb 26, 2008)

ruffneck23 said:


> dont worry its over this week , mind you i thinkz youre only bitter cos u luvs OB



I thought it was over when he dumped the tramp at the train station, but ohhhh no, he had to fucking go to london and get her. 

Has anyone else seen the mecha streisand episode of south park, summer sounds exactly like them taking the piss out of barbara, it's sick.


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## ruffneck23 (Feb 26, 2008)

will check it out now


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## Felina (Feb 26, 2008)

keithy said:


> That reminds me, what happened with the story with Darren's ex and Sarah/amy's Dad-who-weren't-fit-but-got-with-young-lass-then-i-wanted-him-to-touch-me-wet????



Mike Barnes, I SO would.  

Come on, it's every woman's fantasy!


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## Madusa (Feb 26, 2008)

Felina said:


> Mike Barnes, I SO would.
> 
> Come on, it's every woman's fantasy!



what is? 

But yeah, I would too.


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## pengaleng (Feb 26, 2008)

its the horrible nasal whining... '...the sound of muuuuusiiiic' < fuckin makes me wanna chuck.


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## Felina (Feb 26, 2008)

Madusa said:


> what is?
> 
> But yeah, I would too.



Your friend's hot dad! 

I'm also partial to a bit of Gilly to be honest, with his bluey eyes and new hair.


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## ruffneck23 (Feb 26, 2008)

tribal_princess said:


> Has anyone else seen the mecha streisand episode of south park, summer sounds exactly like them taking the piss out of barbara, it's sick.



youre right


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## pengaleng (Feb 26, 2008)

ruffneck23 said:


> youre right



thats all I have in my head when she 'sings'


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## pootle (Feb 26, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Fucking Jake and his weird lip thing. Makes me feel ill!



My ex used to call him clit lip!  

I thought it was all a bit sad the way Jake ever so sneakily manipulated Nancy until she was a shadow of her former self....bit to close to home for me at stages   hopefully she'll bounce back stronger though!


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## pootle (Feb 26, 2008)

ruffneck23 said:


> isnt Summer actually going to be in ' The sound of music ? ' I heard that they sneaked the actual performer into Hollyoaks and thats why andrew l webber agreed to do a cameo
> 
> or did i dream this ?



Nope, you're pretty much spot on.  Lloyd Webber's Really Useful Group worked with Hollyoaks from the get go on the Summer storyline.  Very clever piece of marketing which has probably tapped into lots of younger Hollyoaks fans who'll want to see "The Sound of Music".  However much I love Hollybobs - and it's alot, I feel the same way about musical theatre that        5t3IIa does about Hollyoaks...


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## Jambooboo (Feb 26, 2008)

pootle said:


> My ex used to call him clit lip!
> 
> I thought it was all a bit sad the way Jake ever so sneakily manipulated Nancy until she was a shadow of her former self....bit to close to home for me at stages   hopefully she'll bounce back stronger though!



She's alright now - she's got her red hair back!


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## Jambooboo (Feb 26, 2008)

ruffneck23 said:


> isnt Summer actually going to be in ' The sound of music ? ' I heard that they sneaked the actual performer into Hollyoaks and thats why andrew l webber agreed to do a cameo
> 
> or did i dream this ?



Wow, I didn't know this. I feel exploited.



I thought she had a shit voice n'all.


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## pengaleng (Feb 26, 2008)

pootle said:


> My ex used to call him clit lip!



I fucking hate that thing on his lip as well.


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## keithy (Feb 26, 2008)

Nancy should cut the lip off and feed it to charlie innit


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Feb 26, 2008)

Jambooboo said:


> Wow, I didn't know this. I feel exploited.
> 
> 
> 
> I thought she had a shit voice n'all.



Yeah, I have seem a few adds. Isn't it funny how she looks nice in the wig but a bit minging with her long hair.


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## Madusa (Feb 26, 2008)

Jake's lip thing makes me feel physically sick! Like really.

YUK! I feel tainted just thinking about that gross, grotesque deformity. It's vile. What the fuck is it anyhow? Not that I can bring myself to look intently at the box when he's on screen cos as I said, like it almost brings on the dry heaves. It twitches sometimes too. I swear I've seen it twitch! Didnt you ever see Jake's lip thing twitch? 

Gross.


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## Felina (Feb 27, 2008)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Yeah, I have seem a few adds. Isn't it funny how she looks nice in the wig but a bit minging with her long hair.



Noo I think she looks much prettier with long hair


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## cypher79 (Feb 27, 2008)

Antone else noticed that Sarah has a bullet hole in the corner of her lip?


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## Hellsbells (Feb 27, 2008)

what i want to know is how come sarah is a model when she is one of the least attractive girls in hollyoaks 

did anyone see it on E4 last night? It made me cry   Max and OB parted forever, boo hoo hoo


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## Madusa (Feb 27, 2008)

Bye OB. 

*sigh*


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## Belushi (Feb 27, 2008)

He should have worn that nazi outfit more often


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## May Kasahara (Feb 27, 2008)

Something I particularly hate about Hollyoaks at the moment is in the credits, when there's a shot of Tom yawning. It's probably supposed to look cute, but he looks like a squashed up bat-faced freak


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## Dillinger4 (Feb 27, 2008)

I fuckin loves you I do, MK


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## Felina (Feb 27, 2008)

Tonight I thought there was a new character in Hollyoaks... Zak said 'sorry for caring', I was like Who's Kieron??


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## Looby (Feb 27, 2008)

Felina said:


> Tonight I thought there was a new character in Hollyoaks... Zak said 'sorry for caring', I was like Who's Kieron??



Isn't the priest called Kieron?


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## Felina (Feb 27, 2008)

Ooh is he??  Maybe he is 'sorry for Kieron then'!


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Feb 27, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> what i want to know is how come sarah is a model when she is one of the least attractive girls in hollyoaks
> 
> did anyone see it on E4 last night? It made me cry   Max and OB parted forever, boo hoo hoo



It reminded me of when I moved to London and had to say goodbye to all my friends forever. 

Oh hang on a minute. . .


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## tar1984 (Feb 28, 2008)

its the end of an era


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## El Sueno (Mar 4, 2008)

I was shocked at the heroin storyline. Not that the impressionable girly takes cue from weed-smoking older boy, scores and they and start chasing one night - no what was shocking was the fact that nobody died the first time they tried it. The only fallout (so far) was them texting each other about how grotty they felt the morning after.

Is Hollyoaks growing up on us? The way they're developing it is actually (I can't belive I'm about to type this) quite good.


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## zoooo (Mar 4, 2008)

They'll get their comeuppance! It's Hollyoaks!


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## El Sueno (Mar 4, 2008)

By the weekend one will be dead and the other in jail.


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## foamy (Mar 4, 2008)

El Sueno said:


> The only fallout (so far) was them texting each other about how grotty they felt the morning after.



there has also been a lot of puking.
not appropriate for a tea-time programme


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## ChrisFilter (Mar 13, 2008)

Holy fuck  

Hollyoaks in genuinely gripping / heartpounding storyline shocker.... just watching the 'first look' of tomorrow's episode on E4.... actually quite good.

Hollyoaks has really improved. Still unbridled tosh, but watchable unbridled tosh.


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## zoooo (Mar 13, 2008)

Ooh. I didn't bother with it today. Better watch it tomorrow then!


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## Hellsbells (Mar 14, 2008)

ChrisFilter said:


> Holy fuck
> 
> Hollyoaks in genuinely gripping / heartpounding storyline shocker.... just watching the 'first look' of tomorrow's episode on E4.... actually quite good.
> 
> Hollyoaks has really improved. Still unbridled tosh, but watchable unbridled tosh.



what what what, i need to know!! Haven't seen hollyoaks all week


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## Madusa (Mar 14, 2008)

Basically, nancy went to the police about jake trying to rape her.

He's being interviewed and basically he's making that thing on his lip move into the shape of denial. But Steph confessed to Jack that she walked in on them and that in fact, Jake, the beast is guilty of trying to rape Nancy.

The brute! 

Have no idea what's developed since ie. yesterday or anything...dont know if she's gone to the po po. 

Err, what other storylines are there?


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## ChrisFilter (Mar 14, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> what what what, i need to know!! Haven't seen hollyoaks all week




I couldn't say... and actually, it wasn't so good towards the end. Got farsical again. For a while though, crikey


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## ChrisFilter (Mar 14, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Basically, nancy went to the police about jake trying to rape her.
> 
> He's being interviewed and basically he's making that thing on his lip move into the shape of denial. But Steph confessed to Jack that she walked in on them and that in fact, Jake, the beast is guilty of trying to rape Nancy.
> 
> ...



It's that story line, but a lot more happens involving disappearence, murder, suicide, revenge, etc. I shall say no more...


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## innit (Mar 14, 2008)

ChrisFilter said:


> I couldn't say... and actually, it wasn't so good towards the end. Got farsical again. For a while though, crikey



Too farcical for me


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## Hellsbells (Mar 14, 2008)

ChrisFilter said:


> It's that story line, but a lot more happens involving disappearence, murder, suicide, revenge, etc. I shall say no more...



oh i think i read about in one of the soap mags.


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## Madusa (Mar 14, 2008)

ChrisFilter said:


> It's that story line, but a lot more happens involving disappearence, murder, suicide, revenge, etc. I shall say no more...



These are a few of my favourite things! 

Who gets murdered?


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## baldrick (Mar 14, 2008)

wtf?  how did Jake get into the flat and vanish again afterwards?

Was it all a figment of nancy's overstressed imagination? 

and why the fuck do the telly writers not know how to call a fucking ambulance?  saying "i want an ambulance as soon as possible" and then giving the address and hanging up isn't how it works.


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## innit (Mar 14, 2008)

baldrick said:


> wtf?  how did Jake get into the flat and vanish again afterwards?
> 
> Was it all a figment of nancy's overstressed imagination?
> 
> and why the fuck do the telly writers not know how to call a fucking ambulance?  saying "i want an ambulance as soon as possible" and then giving the address and hanging up isn't how it works.



Justin saw him in the flat too...

How many times can he fail to die in one episode


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## baldrick (Mar 14, 2008)

innit said:


> Justin saw him in the flat too...
> 
> How many times can he fail to die in one episode


this is true.  maybe she imagined him as well.  truly utterly farcical.


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## Madusa (Mar 14, 2008)

what happened??? 

I reckon Jake's gonna die soon...all the psychos act recklessly before they die. IT'S LAW!


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## ChrisFilter (Mar 14, 2008)

Ok, me trying to avoid spoilers was cleary pointless 

Invisi-Jake was a bit stupid... maybe he died and came back as a ghost?


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## innit (Mar 14, 2008)

Hmmm - so either he came back as a ghost (and threw her through a coffee table before getting bopped on the head) _or_ Nancy imagined Jake, Justin and an ambulance crew - either way it's all gone a bit Dallas


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## ChrisFilter (Mar 14, 2008)

Maybe it's gone a bit Neighbours and it was all the dream of a local dog?


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## Madusa (Mar 14, 2008)

wtf happened???


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## baldrick (Mar 14, 2008)

you'll have to watch it


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## Hellsbells (Mar 14, 2008)

Can someone please tell me what the hell happened?
Is Jake dead


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## baldrick (Mar 14, 2008)

Jake stole Charlie from the hospital and tried to kill them both, Nancy found them, rescued Charlie but left Jake to die.  Went back to the flat, Jake dematerialises himself and enters the flat through a locked door, a bit of argy-bargy and Nancy hit him over the head with something and he was conked out on the floor.  Justin arrives, ambulance arrives and Jake does his disappearing act again


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## Madusa (Mar 14, 2008)

What do you mean 'left jake to die.' What happened to Jake and Charlie?


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## baldrick (Mar 14, 2008)

He tried to gas them in his car.  No sign of a hosepipe though


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## innit (Mar 14, 2008)

Worst suicide attempt evah


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## Madusa (Mar 14, 2008)

baldrick said:


> He tried to gas them in his car.  No sign of a hosepipe though



He's a twat!


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## ChrisFilter (Mar 14, 2008)

baldrick said:


> He tried to gas them in his car.  No sign of a hosepipe though



Yeah, I wondered at that.


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## innit (Mar 14, 2008)

Maybe because it's a programme for young people D) they don't want to give them helpful tips on how to off themselves


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## Belushi (Mar 14, 2008)

Just watched it now, classic episode


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## subversplat (Mar 15, 2008)

I want
a) Jake to die
b) Charlie to die
c) Nancy to die
d) Zoe to mysteriously come out of the telly and be my girlfriend

That is all


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## Jambooboo (Mar 15, 2008)

Nancy is currently reminding me of Helena Bonham Carter in _Planet Of The Apes_.


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## Hellsbells (Mar 18, 2008)

Hollyoaks bloody annoyed me last night (the first look E4 episode). 
Why does every storyline have to result in 2 characters ending up in bed together, no matter how inappropriate or unbelivable  

Almost as stupid and completely unbelievable as when Tina and Russ slept together  That would so never have happened.


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## dolly's gal (Mar 18, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Hollyoaks bloody annoyed me last night (the first look E4 episode).
> Why does every storyline have to result in 2 characters ending up in bed together, no matter how inappropriate or unbelivable



yeh, i mean, why does she keep fucking her dead sister's ex's? i thought she was a relatively normal character but i am starting to think she's sick in the head. or something


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## May Kasahara (Mar 18, 2008)

Didn't you know, Hollyoaks is built on a nuclear waste dumping ground - even the people who are normal when they move there soon start acting like the locals as their brains and central nervous systems are rotted and warped by the toxic residue.

Notice how this also explains Jake's lip


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## dolly's gal (Mar 18, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> Notice how this also explains Jake's lip



jake's lip REALLY upsets me


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## subversplat (Mar 18, 2008)

Jake lives in a village not too far from where I live. I will accept money to go and punch him in the face if anybody wants?


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## dolly's gal (Mar 18, 2008)

subversplat said:


> Jake lives in a village not too far from where I live. I will accept money to go and punch him in the face if anybody wants?



i'm down with that. what are your rates? i'm sure if i did a whip round at work i'd have more than enough to cover your fee...


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## innit (Mar 18, 2008)

dolly's gal said:


> yeh, i mean, why does she keep fucking her dead sister's ex's? i thought she was a relatively normal character but i am starting to think she's sick in the head. or something



One, I struggled with.  Two is stretching it a bit far even for Hollyoaks.

I see he still has his classy Becca tattoo  enough to put you off even if it's not your deceased big sister.


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## Hellsbells (Mar 18, 2008)

I heard that Louise from Hollyoaks is moving to Eastenders. Do you think she'll still play Louise, since Claire still plays Claire?


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## dolly's gal (Mar 18, 2008)

innit said:


> I see he still has his classy Becca tattoo  enough to put you off even if it's not your deceased big sister.



i know! classic


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## Madusa (Mar 18, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> Didn't you know, Hollyoaks is built on a nuclear waste dumping ground - even the people who are normal when they move there soon start acting like the locals as their brains and central nervous systems are rotted and warped by the toxic residue.
> 
> *Notice how this also explains Jake's lip*



Bleugh!!


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## Yetman (Mar 18, 2008)

Hollyoaks! Pah! How old are you lot?


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## innit (Mar 18, 2008)

I'm 29


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## dolly's gal (Mar 18, 2008)

and i am 30


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## Yetman (Mar 18, 2008)

Thats probably older than the total age of all of the cast of hollyoaks put together. You should be ashamed of yourself.


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## dolly's gal (Mar 18, 2008)

balls. jack and frankie are well old.


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## innit (Mar 18, 2008)

My mum's 60 and she watches Neighbours every day after work.  There's no harm in a bit of mindless crap if it helps you unwind, as long as it doesn't take over.

Also Tony must be knocking on 40, he's been in Hollyoaks since I was a bairn.


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## Belushi (Mar 18, 2008)

I'm 36


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## Hellsbells (Mar 18, 2008)

oh good i'm glad to know i'm not the only oldish person who watches Hollyoaks crap


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## keithy (Mar 19, 2008)

I can't believe Frankie is being such a bitch to Steph! I hate Steph but... well... Frankie 

SHAME ON THEE


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## electrogirl (Mar 19, 2008)

oh man. i've missed loads of hollyoaks action.

i KNEW Nancy and Justin would get naked. it's just hollyoaks all over.

i think they should end the jake plot with a revelation that that thing on his lip is actually an evil twin that never developed properly and has been controlling his mind.

i heart jake's screwy up face acting.


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## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> i think they should end the jake plot with a revelation that that thing on his lip is actually an evil twin that never developed properly and has been controlling his mind.


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## Madusa (Mar 19, 2008)

Can we move on from Jake's lip thing...it's fucking rank and it upsets us all!


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## Felina (Mar 19, 2008)

Nancy just gets wronger and wronger...


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## ChrisFilter (Mar 19, 2008)

innit said:


> My mum's 60 and she watches Neighbours every day after work.  There's no harm in a bit of mindless crap if it helps you unwind, as long as it doesn't take over.
> 
> Also Tony must be knocking on 40, he's been in Hollyoaks since I was a bairn.



Neighbours is being moved to 7pm on 5 - I cannot say how happy this makes me


----------



## Looby (Mar 19, 2008)

ChrisFilter said:


> Neighbours is being moved to 7pm on 5 - I cannot say how happy this makes me



I think they are just repeating it at 7 on five live. It will still be 5.30 on five.


----------



## pengaleng (Mar 19, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> I heard that Louise from Hollyoaks is moving to Eastenders. Do you think she'll still play Louise, since Claire still plays Claire?



Claire was already on eastenders as a kid with that name though so obv they just brought the character back after seeing her do her shiz on hollyoaks.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

tribal_princess said:


> Claire was already on eastenders as a kid with that name though so obv they just brought the character back after seeing her do her shiz on hollyoaks.



yeah but she is playing exactly the same money obsessed, slutty evil cow type character she was playing in Hollyoaks. 
It confuses simple minded people like myself. I keep expecting Max to pop up from behind a market stall. 
I know obviously people change, but Claire was nothing like that when she was in eastenders before. She was quiet and sweet and quite posh if I remember correctly.


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 19, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> yeah but she is playing exactly the same money obsessed, slutty evil cow type character she was playing in Hollyoaks.
> It confuses simple minded people like myself. I keep expecting Max to pop up from behind a market stall.
> I know obviously people change, but Claire was nothing like that when she was in eastenders before. She was quiet and sweet and quite posh if I remember correctly.



i don't understand. so claire in hollyoaks isn't meant to be the same as claire in eastenders? why did they make them both stupid panto villains? 

i'm confused too now.

claire in eastenders is the funniest though. 

claire (to ian beale): i'm such a slave, i always keep my legs silky smooth'

hahahahahahahaha


----------



## dodgepot (Mar 19, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> yeah but she is playing exactly the same money obsessed, slutty evil cow type character she was playing in Hollyoaks.
> It confuses simple minded people like myself. I keep expecting Max to pop up from behind a market stall.
> I know obviously people change, but Claire was nothing like that when she was in eastenders before. She was quiet and sweet and quite posh if I remember correctly.



that's because eastenders is utter shite.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

oh right, do you think it's intentional then - that ee Claire is actually meant to be HO Claire, that they are in fact the same person ? 

I never thought that Soaps would intentionally have the same character switch from one soap to another.


----------



## innit (Mar 19, 2008)

No they're not the same person!

Although a character from Brookie did once move to Hollyoaks, but then both those soaps were both C4 / Phil Redmond so not the greatest leap really.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

oh yeah, just remembering the Claire storyline in HO....
didn't she die? 
actually, wasn't the last clip of her in an airport lounge picking up a rich looking stranger....


----------



## ChrisFilter (Mar 19, 2008)

sparklefish said:


> I think they are just repeating it at 7 on five live. It will still be 5.30 on five.



Five Life, Five US, I don't care... it's the best day ever


----------



## no-no (Mar 19, 2008)

Hollyoaks is a sack of shit.It's peak was a long time ago when they still had psycho rob hawthorn in it and even then it was the worst thing on telly.


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 19, 2008)

they should be the same person. might as well be. wouldn't do any harm. at it would help my confused mind.

soap crossovers would be great.

i'd like max and o.b to be having a drink in london with summer after her westend debut and then clare walks in and there's a showdown. yeah.

see, summer is now ACTUALLY in The Sound of Music in real life.
You can see how we get confused.

or maybe i need to get out more.


----------



## Looby (Mar 19, 2008)

I think there should be soap crossovers. So if Phil Mitchell commits a crime in Eastenders then someone from the bill could investigate it. It would be fab.

Also, I have long felt that when you join a soap there should be a clause in your contract so you have to return for important events. Death of family member, birth of child, weddings etc. They don't have to stay very long, just make an appearance. It would remove the need for all those irritating my mum's missed her plane/broke her leg etc storylines.


----------



## Looby (Mar 19, 2008)

ChrisFilter said:


> Five Life, Five US, I don't care... it's the best day ever



You might not have had five life and then you would have had your hopes built up only to be cruelly dashed.


----------



## dodgepot (Mar 19, 2008)

no-no said:


> Hollyoaks is a sack of shit.



pfft.


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 19, 2008)

no-no said:


> Hollyoaks is a sack of shit.It's peak was a long time ago when they still had psycho rob hawthorn in it and even then it was the worst thing on telly.



move along then.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

sparklefish said:


> Also, I have long felt that when you join a soap there should be a clause in your contract so you have to return for important events. Death of family member, birth of child, weddings etc. They don't have to stay very long, just make an appearance. It would remove the need for all those irritating my mum's missed her plane/broke her leg etc storylines.



Yeah, like how Michelle never went to Pauline's funeral. I mean, like you would miss your own mother's funeral


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 19, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Yeah, like how Michelle never went to Pauline's funeral. I mean, like you would miss your own mother's funeral



yeah but in eastenders world, america, is like, a million trillion miles away, or something.


----------



## g force (Mar 19, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> yeah but in eastenders world, america, is like, a million trillion miles away, or something.



No, that's Manchester


----------



## Felina (Mar 19, 2008)

g force said:


> No, that's Manchester



Or Marbella


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

Anywhere outside 'the square' is another world to those eastenders people. 

How many people in the real world, live, work, eat, drink and socialise within 10 steps of their own front door ....?


----------



## killer b (Mar 19, 2008)

i do. 

i do live in the town centre, mind...


----------



## g force (Mar 19, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Anywhere outside 'the square' is another world to those eastenders people.
> 
> How many people in the real world, live, work, eat, drink and socialise within 10 steps of their own front door ....?



And how many don't own a washing machine


----------



## May Kasahara (Mar 19, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> why did they make them both stupid panto villains?



Because they're in soaps. Everyone in soaps struggles to attain even one dimension.



no-no said:


> Hollyoaks is a sack of shit.It's peak was a long time ago when they still had psycho rob hawthorn in it and even then it was the worst thing on telly.



Rob Hawthorn was a shit psycho though; despite numerous opportunities he never managed to actually kill the blonde girl who was so breathtakingly annoying that I actually used to start gnawing myself in rage every time she was on screen. Or the curly bitch who went on to appear in 2 Pints of Lager, who also needs to die. He couldn't even off Tony Hutchinson, the wettest blanket in the laundry room.



electrogirl said:


> yeah but in eastenders world, america, is like, a million trillion miles away, or something.



Aye. Can't get to the US in a black cab, can you?


----------



## KellyDJ (Mar 19, 2008)

Felina said:


> Nancy just gets wronger and wronger...



Well, well, she certainly like to follow in her sister's footsteps doesn't she!


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 19, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> Rob Hawthorn was a shit psycho though; despite numerous opportunities he never managed to actually kill the blonde girl who was so breathtakingly annoying that I actually used to start gnawing myself in rage every time she was on screen. Or the curly bitch who went on to appear in 2 Pints of Lager, who also needs to die. He couldn't even off Tony Hutchinson, the wettest blanket in the laundry room.




hahaha oh yeah. that girl with the big nostrils. such big nostrils.

she annoyed me almost as much when ruth kept banging on about her bloody dissertation. 

i remember the cresendo to the rob hawthorne one, it was in some kind of swimming pool. and i want to say there were flumes there, but i might've made that up.


----------



## Looby (Mar 19, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> hahaha oh yeah. that girl with the big nostrils. such big nostrils.
> 
> she annoyed me almost as much when ruth kept banging on about her bloody dissertation.
> 
> i remember the cresendo to the rob hawthorne one, it was in some kind of swimming pool. and i want to say there were flumes there, but i might've made that up.



Yeah, weren't they all locked in somewhere? I think it was some sort of factory plant. Lewis, Ruth, Lucy, Carol and Tony? 

*makes plans to get a life*


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

Dammit, i'm obviously not a true hollyoaks fan, since I missed the entire rob horthorne storyline and have only a very dim recollection of who Carol and Lucy are. (were?)

Can anyone remind me? (briefly)
I remember that Lewis and Ruth were married but then ruth had a miscariage and Lewis turned into a psycho and beat Ruth up (i think).


----------



## Looby (Mar 19, 2008)

Ruth was married to Kurt who was Lucys brother, Lucy was going out with Rob Hawthorne and her best made was Carol who went out with Jambo who was best friends with Kurt, she also went out with Finn.

When Ruth and Kurt split up (then he died) she went out with Lewis, he was Mandys brother. I seem to remember he did beat her up, he had a gambling problem too. Ruth then ended up with Tony for a bit.
Lewis






Lucy





Ruth





Carol





Kurt


----------



## May Kasahara (Mar 19, 2008)

Ruth 
Lewis 
Carol 
Lucy 
Kurt 

How I hated them all!


----------



## dodgepot (Mar 19, 2008)

how could you have hated carol? she had a mouse for a car!!


----------



## Looby (Mar 19, 2008)

dodgepot said:


> how could you have hated carol? she had a mouse for a car!!



I loved Carol, especially when she was with Finn. He was lovely, until he went off with Mandys mum, that was weird.


----------



## May Kasahara (Mar 19, 2008)

She was an especially hateful cunt. You're just blinded by your 2 Pints fandom 

Sorry, that was aimed at dodgers (obviously - no one else likes 2 Pints).


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 19, 2008)

Finn is that one from Casualty isn't he? Abs?

I used to like Lewis, before he turned psycho. They did a bit of a Jake Dean on him - ie starts out really nice, decent guy and then has a personality transplant and becomes an evil psycho 

Ruth was awful though. The mere memory of her makes me shudder. Urgh. 

I wish they'd do an old hollyoaks on uk gold or something. I like remembering really old characters and storylines.


----------



## Looby (Mar 19, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> She was an especially hateful cunt. You're just blinded by your 2 Pints fandom
> 
> Sorry, that was aimed at dodgers (obviously - no one else likes 2 Pints).


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 19, 2008)

'it's my dissssssserrrrrtation lewis, my disssssssserrrrrrrtation'

get over it ruth. loads of people do them.

i fancied Finn alot. 

ugh i remember a late night one where lewis and ruth had sex on the roof of a club. it was rank. 

ugh shuddery shudder.


----------



## zoooo (Mar 19, 2008)

Ohmygod I hated Ruth so much.

Carol and Finn were fantastic!

Jambo wasn't bad either. And at least Kurt was cute. And he had that little lisp. Aw.


----------



## innit (Mar 19, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> She was an especially hateful cunt.



How 

She was ditzy and lovely and funny and she went out with Finn who was a bit hot then (but obviously not hot AT ALL in Casualty)


----------



## May Kasahara (Mar 19, 2008)

I just hated everything about her  Still do loathe the real life actress, if that's any help.


----------



## innit (Mar 19, 2008)

Ok, fwiw I feel the same about Lucy, Lewis and Ruth.

Izzy 
Zara  

And who was Lucy's ex... the one who realised he was gay?  Have I made it up?  I didn't think much of him either tbh


----------



## May Kasahara (Mar 19, 2008)

I'm actually struggling to think of anyone I've liked at all in Hollyoaks


----------



## Madusa (Mar 19, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> 'it's my dissssssserrrrrtation lewis, my disssssssserrrrrrrtation'
> 
> get over it ruth. loads of people do them.
> 
> ...


----------



## zoooo (Mar 19, 2008)

innit said:


> And who was Lucy's ex... the one who realised he was gay?  Have I made it up?  I didn't think much of him either tbh



Oh yeah!
It all comes rushing back.
I thought he was gorgeous.


----------



## keithy (Mar 20, 2008)

May Kasahara said:


> I'm actually struggling to think of anyone I've liked at all in Hollyoaks



Mike Barnes


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 20, 2008)

i liked ben and i liked it when ben and izzie got together.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 20, 2008)

I like John paul. 
Then there are quite a few characters i liked before they became annoying and had personality transplants. Eg, I used to like Lisa (gema atkinson), but way back when she was a shy 14 year old who used to cut herself. She was good in those days. 

Ben was fit


----------



## baldrick (Mar 20, 2008)

i like john paul too  he's the only character that hasn't seriously annoyed me since i've started watching.

and i soooooo want him to shag that priest! grrrrrrr


----------



## dolly's gal (Mar 20, 2008)

mmmm john paul... he nice


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 20, 2008)

i like john paul too! i was ever so upset when silly Steph's brother didn't want to kiss him in public.

i love the mcqueens in general really. excpet that silly prude one. she is a nob.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 20, 2008)

oh god yeah, that priest is gorgeous. 
I want to see a late night hollyoaks with JP and the priest! 
(i'm not a perv atALL, honest )


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 20, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> i like john paul too! i was ever so upset when silly Steph's brother didn't want to kiss him in public.
> 
> i love the mcqueens in general really. excpet that silly prude one. she is a nob.



hmmm the mcqueens really bug me. I like the mother and John Paul but that's it. The others are just so annoying, especially Mercedes. 
Jacqui's not too bad when she's acting normal. Don't quite understand why she makes herself look so ugly though with her scraped back hair and over the top makeup. She looks a million times nicer when she's depressed and looks trampy (i.e. like a normal person!)


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 20, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> hmmm the mcqueens really bug me. I like the mother and John Paul but that's it. The others are just so annoying, especially Mercedes.
> Jacqui's not too bad when she's acting normal. Don't quite understand why she makes herself look so ugly though with her scraped back hair and over the top makeup. She looks a million times nicer when she's depressed and looks trampy (i.e. like a normal person!)



because she's a crim. and she's hard as nails and big hoops and scrapey hair is the look.

but yeah, i saw her on big brother celebrity hijack and she looked much softer and prettier. 

cripes i watch quality telly.

mercedes is filth.  is till love them all.

oh no i don't like the youngest one, michaela, her face confuses me.


----------



## Felina (Mar 20, 2008)

Mercedes needs a massive slap!  I hate those McQueens, apart from John Paul!


----------



## dodgepot (Mar 20, 2008)

jacqui mcqueen is aces


----------



## innit (Mar 20, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Oh yeah!
> It all comes rushing back.
> I thought he was gorgeous.



Did you  

Anyway I have now remembered, he was called Bazz and was apparently played by Miranda Sawyer's brother (yep, I'm busy at work all right  )


----------



## zoooo (Mar 20, 2008)

Looky!






Cuuute!


----------



## Madusa (Mar 20, 2008)

oooh!

He was always very moody looking werent he?


----------



## zoooo (Mar 20, 2008)

He was a bit sulky, yes. Loove sulky boys.



Hellsbells said:


> oh god yeah, that priest is gorgeous.
> I want to see a late night hollyoaks with JP and the priest!
> (i'm not a perv atALL, honest )



God, yes please.


----------



## baldrick (Mar 20, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> oh god yeah, that priest is gorgeous.
> I want to see a late night hollyoaks with JP and the priest!
> (i'm not a perv atALL, honest )


mmmmmmmmmmmm yes please.

I think we should set up a petition.


----------



## Looby (Mar 20, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Looky!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Oh my god, I had forgotten all about him. He was lovely.


----------



## Madusa (Mar 20, 2008)

oh my, anyone remember the late night Hollyoaks when Luke got raped? That was awful to watch!


----------



## innit (Mar 21, 2008)

Poor Luke   He looked just like my ex, when he was in the shower (pre rapage) he even had a bum like his, which was a bit confusing!


----------



## tar1984 (Mar 21, 2008)

Madusa said:


> oh my, anyone remember the late night Hollyoaks when Luke got raped? That was awful to watch!



every time i see that actor who played luke in another program or something, i still think of him as kinda damaged.  can't take him seriously at all.

that rape scene must've really stuck into my subconcious


----------



## Madusa (Mar 21, 2008)

tar1984 said:


> every time i see that actor who played luke in another program or something, i still think of him as kinda damaged.  can't take him seriously at all.
> 
> that rape scene must've really stuck into my subconcious



And mine! 

I can still see his face! Oh boy!


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 23, 2008)

Madusa said:


> oh my, anyone remember the late night Hollyoaks when Luke got raped? That was awful to watch!



i never EVER *EVER* got over that.


----------



## Hellsbells (Mar 30, 2008)

Just wanted to say to all JP and the Priest fans - if you missed the E4 first look ep on friday, watch it on Ch4 tomorow ..... 
Naughty Priesty  


(although, have to say i was rather annoyed the room was so dark and shadowy )


----------



## zoooo (Mar 30, 2008)

Oooh.
Will do!!

(I'll make sure I turn the brightness up.)


----------



## baldrick (Mar 31, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Just wanted to say to all JP and the Priest fans - if you missed the E4 first look ep on friday, watch it on Ch4 tomorow .....
> Naughty Priesty


woohoo!!!!!!!   i shall make sure i tune in tonight


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 31, 2008)

baldrick said:


> woohoo!!!!!!!  i shall make sure i tune in tonight



oh man i am so excited.

i love those kids being on smack. it's a classic ridiculous Hollyoaks plotline.

i quite like this blatant cad lecturer chattin gup sarah too.

oh and of COURSE the baby is Russ's.


----------



## innit (Mar 31, 2008)

Waah! Have college tonight and will miss it 

(considers setting sky+ for JP and priest   feels too embarrassed  )


----------



## electrogirl (Mar 31, 2008)

innit said:


> Waah! Have college tonight and will miss it
> 
> (considers setting sky+ for JP and priest   feels too embarrassed  )



i sky+ it.

it was worth it. hooray for priesty and jp!


----------



## baldrick (Apr 1, 2008)

that was ace 

poor elliot though!


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

baldrick said:


> that was ace
> 
> poor elliot though!



oh come on. what a div. 

i'm getting well annoyed with that goth girl though. why does she hate everyone? newt should dump her.


----------



## baldrick (Apr 1, 2008)

i know, but sarah and that creepy lecturer shagging in his bed   grim.

that girl is a total bitch, i agree.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

baldrick said:


> i know, but sarah and that creepy lecturer shagging in his bed   grim.
> 
> that girl is a total bitch, i agree.



ugh when sarah was talking about how good he was in bed. bleurgh.

am i the only one who really wants rhys and beth to run away together? i'm wrong in the head.


----------



## Hellsbells (Apr 1, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> ugh when sarah was talking about how good he was in bed. bleurgh.
> 
> am i the only one who really wants rhys and beth to run away together? i'm wrong in the head.



urgh. Can't stand rhys and Beth and that doesn't really  have anything to do with the fact they're brother and sister. Beth is such a crappy character (and actress) and the storyline is so bloody dragged out and never ending, just the two of them constantly breaking up and then getting back together. Yawn.


----------



## zenie (Apr 1, 2008)

dodgepot said:


> jacqui mcqueen is aces


 
She's my style icon. 

PVC thigh high boots you say?
Earring so big I could fit my leg through them?
Croydon face lift?

I wish I looked like Mercedes,  the two of them have wicked clothes


----------



## baldrick (Apr 1, 2008)

HellsBells said:
			
		

> urgh. Can't stand rhys and Beth and that doesn't really have anything to do with the fact they're brother and sister. Beth is such a crappy character (and actress) and the storyline is so bloody dragged out and never ending, just the two of them constantly breaking up and then getting back together. Yawn.


i can't stand beth either.  her whiny manchester accent really gets on my tits.


----------



## keithy (Apr 1, 2008)

baldrick said:


> i can't stand beth either.  her whiny manchester accent really gets on my tits.



It's not a manchester accent though, is it? She's more scousey mixed with summet or other


----------



## baldrick (Apr 1, 2008)

scousey? really   i will have to have a proper listen later.


----------



## keithy (Apr 1, 2008)

baldrick said:


> scousey? really   i will have to have a proper listen later.



slightly yeh i think, it's a weird mix one though. she sounds like a couple of people i know aswell, one from stoke and one from round geordieland.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

beth is one of the worst actors in hollyoaks. and as we all know, that's saying something.


----------



## Hellsbells (Apr 1, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> beth is one of the worst actors in hollyoaks. and as we all know, that's saying something.



Yeah her voice is totally monotone and her face completely expresionless, even when she's meant to be utterly distraught

i'm struggling to think of anyone worse than her. 
Oh, actually, that Katy is pretty awful. She makes me want to throw things at the telly. URGHHHHH!


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Yeah her voice is totally monotone and her face completely expresionless, even when she's meant to be utterly distraught
> 
> i'm struggling to think of anyone worse than her.
> Oh, actually, that Katy is pretty awful. She makes me want to throw things at the telly. URGHHHHH!



i don't understand why katy has to whisper all the time.


----------



## El Sueno (Apr 1, 2008)

Which one's Katy?

Beth is terrible, if it wasn't for her hot body she'd be working in Tescos and people would be sticking 'reduced item' stickers on her back. Sasha comes a close second for being the most expressionless bint on the show, again - if it wasn't for her looks who knows what she'd be doing.

By far the worst offender in my eyes is Nancy. Typical rada-voiced, overracting bloody annoying little pig. Jessica runs her a close second for overworked, rada-accented annyoingness.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

katy is warrens brother who is always worrying about things and whispering and going out with justin


----------



## zenie (Apr 1, 2008)

Awrr I love Nancy!!


----------



## Hellsbells (Apr 1, 2008)

El Sueno said:


> Which one's Katy?
> 
> Beth is terrible, if it wasn't for her hot body she'd be working in Tescos and people would be sticking 'reduced item' stickers on her back. Sasha comes a close second for being the most expressionless bint on the show, again - if it wasn't for her looks who knows what she'd be doing.
> 
> By far the worst offender in my eyes is Nancy. Typical rada-voiced, overracting bloody annoying little pig. Jessica runs her a close second for overworked, rada-accented annyoingness.



Katy is Justin's girlfriend, Warren's sister. She looks like a model, so obviously the looks over talent thing yet again. 

Nancy is annoying, but I think she's an ok actor. Even though she's annoying, i find her quite believable. And i like the fact that she isn't perfect looking - she doesn't have a model shaped body and long blond perfect hair. 

when was the last time you watched hollyoaks btw? Jessica left AGES ago !!


----------



## Madusa (Apr 1, 2008)

So, are Beth and Rhs brother and sister? I still dont get what's going on there.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

zenie said:


> Awrr I love Nancy!!



oh man she can't act for toffee though. straight out of stage school and probably got the job because of her silly alternative hair which was just lopsided let's face it.

and she keeps yagging her dead sister's fellas.

she should've stuck with that equally bad actor boyfriend she had, foz was it? he was a hottie mcfittie


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

Madusa said:


> So, are Beth and Rhs brother and sister? I still dont get what's going on there.



half brother and sister. rhy's mum had a night of passion with her husbands's rock and roll boyfriend and rhys was born. the rock and roll brother also had beth some time somewhere.

they started pashing before they knew they were related though.


----------



## g force (Apr 1, 2008)

Katy is played by the sister of Dawn in Eastenders...it's the only TV trivia I have


----------



## Madusa (Apr 1, 2008)

Nancy was on that advert for coffee where she plays that babysitter who was hired to take care of the kid for 5 mins while the mother had her coffee in peace.


----------



## Madusa (Apr 1, 2008)

g force said:


> Katy is played by the sister of Dawn in Eastenders...it's the only TV trivia I have



I fucking hate rhys.


----------



## Hellsbells (Apr 1, 2008)

Madusa said:


> So, are Beth and Rhs brother and sister? I still dont get what's going on there.



yeah, they've got the same dad. 
But they got together and supposedly 'fell in love' before they knew this. And now they can't stop it.


----------



## El Sueno (Apr 1, 2008)

Thanks, I'm up to speed now. Katy is a bit of a nothing, but to be fair she's got a shitty boring storyline to act out.

I still won't be swayed on Nancy, she's the most annoying character in it. Aside from her terrible acting, her character is horrible too - a whining, self-righteous hypercritical moral upstart, constantly stating the bleedin' obvious in her horrid drama-school voice. Glad to hear Jessica's gone though, she made my blood boil.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

i can't remember who jessica is


----------



## El Sueno (Apr 1, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> i can't remember who jessica is



Lucky you!


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

El Sueno said:


> Lucky you!



it's annoying me now though.

who was she?


----------



## Hellsbells (Apr 1, 2008)

Jessica was the posh rich student. She lived in the student flat with zoe. 
Slept with Darren (zoe's boyf), gambled, erm whined alot and was basically a nasty bitch  
Didn't she leave hollyoaks with Darrens winnings from the casino?


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 1, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Jessica was the posh rich student. She lived in the student flat with zoe.
> Slept with Darren (zoe's boyf), gambled, erm whined alot and was basically a nasty bitch
> Didn't she leave hollyoaks with Darrens winnings from the casino?



oh yeah! that wasn't even that long ago! she was hot though, with her short bob haircut.

can't believe weasel face pimp daddy darren managed to yag both of them.


----------



## tar1984 (Apr 2, 2008)

ive not seen hollyoaks for the last two week cos of the shifts ive been working - i'll defo be watching tonights episode.  

hows fletch getting on with his heroin addiction?  thats the storyline thats been catching my interest the most.


----------



## tar1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

oh well i missed it again - no luck


----------



## Belushi (Apr 3, 2008)

Yeah, I've missed it this week but will try and catch up on Sunday morning.


----------



## baldrick (Apr 3, 2008)

i've only seen two episodes this week, kieran is worrying me


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 3, 2008)

tar1984 said:


> ive not seen hollyoaks for the last two week cos of the shifts ive been working - i'll defo be watching tonights episode.
> 
> hows fletch getting on with his heroin addiction?  thats the storyline thats been catching my interest the most.



well he turned up to battle of the bands all off hsi face on smack and michaela found the heroin in his bag and said 'he's on smack!'

but everyone said, 'shutup michaela, you smackhead'

even though she shows no signs of being a smackhead.

although she does have a confusing face. but that's by the by.


----------



## electrogirl (Apr 3, 2008)

baldrick said:


> i've only seen two episodes this week, kieran is worrying me



poor kieran.


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 13, 2008)

I seem to be watcing Hollyoaks a lot of late. The thought occured to me last night that Ely the friend of Newts be may delusional??? 

Anyone else thought this ?


----------



## zoooo (Jun 13, 2008)

Do you mean Newt is imagining him, or that Ely is having delusions?
I haven't watched it this week.


----------



## subversplat (Jun 13, 2008)

Yeah I thought Eli was an imaginary friend. Newt's very own Tyler Durden.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 14, 2008)

Only a tad less charismatic.


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 14, 2008)

I'm thinking that Ely is not real...that Newt is having command hallucinations which is causing the acts of destruction.


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 16, 2008)

moonsi til said:


> I seem to be watcing Hollyoaks a lot of late. The thought occured to me last night that Ely the friend of Newts be may delusional???
> 
> Anyone else thought this ?



YES!!! I did but thought it was maybe too clever for HO.  I'm glad somebody else has thought along the same lines


----------



## innit (Jun 16, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> YES!!! I did but thought it was maybe too clever for HO.  I'm glad somebody else has thought along the same lines



I like it! I like it!  Hope you guys are right 

Frankie is looking surprisingly good suddenly for a woman with so many troubles... wonder if she's had some work done?


----------



## Madusa (Jun 16, 2008)

yeah, Eli isnt real...just now when it showed that Eli was opening the washroom door from the inside, it was Newt we saw from the outside.


----------



## innit (Jun 16, 2008)

*rewinds*

hmmmm
I think that was not conclusive, we also saw Eli's face below Newt's...  I require proof of a higher order 

Mercedes is fucked up


----------



## Madusa (Jun 16, 2008)

innit said:


> *rewinds*
> 
> hmmmm
> I think that was not conclusive, we also saw Eli's face below Newt's...  I require proof of a higher order
> ...



Oh right. 

Why, what's up with Mercedes? 

I havent watched Hollyoaks for ages!


----------



## innit (Jun 16, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Oh right.
> 
> Why, what's up with Mercedes?
> 
> I havent watched Hollyoaks for ages!



Me neither... in the C4 ep tonight Mercedes was inciting Darren to try and seduce little Hannah, but I couldn't think why she would have a problem with Hannah or her boyfriend - seemed a bit unnecessarily mean!


----------



## innit (Jun 16, 2008)

Much as I am loving the "Eli not real" theory, it leaves a little plot hole regarding where Newt would get a whacking great big bomb...

...so maybe not


----------



## Madusa (Jun 16, 2008)

innit said:


> Much as I am loving the "Eli not real" theory, it leaves a little plot hole regarding where Newt would get a whacking great big bomb...
> 
> ...so maybe not



But Edward Norton's character managed unrealistic things for him as Tyler Durden so...


----------



## rob fade (Jun 16, 2008)

moonsi til said:


> I'm thinking that Ely is not real...that Newt is having command hallucinations which is causing the acts of destruction.



I reckon you're right....


----------



## tar1984 (Jun 17, 2008)

ive not watched for a while.  hows fletch getting on?  i really hope they make that storyline have a happy ending, with fletch getting clean, getting his life back on track, and showing that with the right support you can recover from a drug problem.  

however, i feel the writers are more likely to kill him off with an o/d or some shit.  just to re-inforce the concept that DRUGS ARE BAD!


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 17, 2008)

Fletch seems to have developed a Scottish accent.. and currently wants to leave Hollyoaks cos he is better than it and form a rock band.


----------



## keithy (Jun 18, 2008)

innit said:


> Me neither... in the C4 ep tonight Mercedes was inciting Darren to try and seduce little Hannah, but I couldn't think why she would have a problem with Hannah or her boyfriend - seemed a bit unnecessarily mean!



I haven't been watching much either but saw one the other day where mercedes saw hannah chatting to the rav bouncer guy and got all jealous cos he isn't interested in her. maybe summet to do with it, cos after that she and russ had a drink then she came onto him and he rejected her.


----------



## Jambooboo (Jun 18, 2008)

I usually pick up on stuff in soaps, but it had never crossed my mind that Eli isn't real till someone at work mentioned it today.


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 18, 2008)

I really dislike Mercedes.  Nasty piece of work


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 18, 2008)

Next week's going to be a real tearjerker  I won't spoil it but have the tissues ready for next Friday's episode


----------



## Mitre10 (Jun 18, 2008)

innit said:


> *rewinds*
> 
> hmmmm
> I think that was not conclusive, we also saw Eli's face below Newt's...  I require proof of a higher order




I reckon the Newt / Eli  / Fight Club allegory is correct.

The bomb-making thing mentioned above is right but in a different way. A lad of his age would not have the ability to get his hands on a "whacking great bomb", but he could quite feasibly make a fake one.

Other things that make me come to the "imaginary" conclusion are:

When Eli was in the pub making comments about people, everyone was ignoring him - as if they couldn't hear him (they wouldn't be able to if he only existed in Newt's head). This was especially borne out when he went up behind Steph and said "Hi gorgeous" - and she did not react at all.

After Eli trashed the beauty shop, Newt had to try and get the red paint off his trainers as Eli had borrowed them when he went out to do the deed. I reckon that the reason that the paint was there was because it was Newt doing the damage in the first place wearing his own shoes.

Lastly, Eli is a pretty strange name, and one that just so happens to be an anagram of the word "Lie".



<Goes off to try and track down what remainder of my life I have left>


----------



## Hellsbells (Jun 19, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> Next week's going to be a real tearjerker  I won't spoil it but have the tissues ready for next Friday's episode



I think i know what this is. And I'm very angry about it!!


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 19, 2008)

I would post it but I don't know how to do the spoiler thing over text


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 19, 2008)

I have no idea...but there are a few storylines on the go that could go bang.


----------



## pengaleng (Jun 19, 2008)

G picked up on the Eli not being real thing weeks and weeks ago


----------



## Lost Zoot (Jun 19, 2008)

tribal_princess said:


> G picked up on the Eli not being real thing weeks and weeks ago



obviously. its hardly a revolation, just a really cheap plot. 

Was anyone else realieved when ste hacked of amy's hair? at last!


----------



## keithy (Jun 19, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> Next week's going to be a real tearjerker  I won't spoil it but have the tissues ready for next Friday's episode



TELL US

I can't watch enough tv at the moment cos I have some kind of 'life' and stuff


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 20, 2008)

keithy said:


> TELL US
> 
> I can't watch enough tv at the moment cos I have some kind of 'life' and stuff



Will post up


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 20, 2008)

Spoiler: next Friday



Max dies


----------



## ruffneck23 (Jun 20, 2008)

the only thing with trhis spoiler code is that if you get email alerts for the thread you can see it


----------



## zoooo (Jun 20, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> Spoiler: next Friday
> 
> 
> 
> Max dies



Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 20, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> Spoiler: next Friday
> 
> 
> 
> Max dies



Noooo! 



Spoiler



Poor Tom, those writers must really hate him for some reason.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 20, 2008)

I'm actually genuinely upset!
How silly.


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 20, 2008)

ruffneck23 said:


> the only thing with trhis spoiler code is that if you get email alerts for the thread you can see it



 oh, that's really crap.  Sorry


----------



## ruffneck23 (Jun 20, 2008)

oh i dont mind , i had already pm-ed  keithy with the spoiler 


but i noticed it on some other threads


----------



## dolly's gal (Jun 20, 2008)

Mitre10 said:


> I reckon the Newt / Eli  / Fight Club allegory is correct.
> 
> The bomb-making thing mentioned above is right but in a different way. A lad of his age would not have the ability to get his hands on a "whacking great bomb", but he could quite feasibly make a fake one.
> 
> ...




holy fuck, i am genuinely excited by this explaination. brilliant. sheer genius on the part of the writers 

max can do one, however. i hope OB doesn't come back!


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 20, 2008)

.


----------



## Looby (Jun 20, 2008)

.


----------



## dolly's gal (Jun 20, 2008)

sparklefish said:


> Dolly- spoiler.



how is any of that a spoiler?!


----------



## Looby (Jun 20, 2008)

dolly's gal said:


> how is any of that a spoiler?!



Maybe not, strong hint though.


----------



## dolly's gal (Jun 20, 2008)

sparklefish said:


> Maybe not, strong hint though.



i'm simply outing my dislike of max. he is a prick. and so is tom. yeh i know he's only a kid, but i hate him even more than that little bastard ben in eastenders


----------



## Looby (Jun 20, 2008)

dolly's gal said:


> i'm simply outing my dislike of max. he is a prick. and so is tom. yeh i know he's only a kid, but i hate him even more than that little bastard ben in eastenders



I'll edit so I don't draw attention. 

Max is getting on my tits, he's been horrible to Steph I think.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 20, 2008)

dolly's gal said:


> i'm simply outing my dislike of max. he is a prick. and so is tom. yeh i know he's only a kid, but i hate him even more than that little bastard ben in eastenders



Tom is by far and away the best actor in Hollyoaks.

Am I the only one who can't watch this show without thinking that if Hannah and Danny have babies together they will have _incredibly_ weird-shaped heads?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 25, 2008)

can we talk about hollyoaks again?

niall is the worst villain ever! he's crap! what is his problem? and he's so boring.

ugh i hate that storyline and it's been dragging on for months.

he better not hurt jp and priesty. i heart them.


----------



## baldrick (Jun 25, 2008)

I haven't seen hollyoaks for ages.

a good thing i think.

jp and kieran are the only things in it worth seeing apart from jackie's penchant for pvc.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 25, 2008)

baldrick said:


> I haven't seen hollyoaks for ages.
> 
> a good thing i think.
> 
> jp and kieran are the only things in it worth seeing apart from jackie's penchant for pvc.



yeah but amy has cut her hair! FINALLY! whooop!

wel pyscho domestic violencer 'ste' did it but whatever.


----------



## Sadken (Jun 25, 2008)

the pace of life seems to move incredibly fast in Hollyoaks.  Last time I watched, about 6 months ago or so, Max was single having got rid of that psycho wife of his, now adverts are showing he's getting married to someone else who looks like Mandy?  Also, what happened to Warren?  He was awesome.

What was the name of that character who was Benson's arch enemy and tried to kill them all by the way?


----------



## Yelkcub (Jun 25, 2008)

dolly's gal said:


> yeh i know he's only a kid, but i hate him even more than that little bastard ben in eastenders


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 25, 2008)

Sadken said:


> the pace of life seems to move incredibly fast in Hollyoaks.  Last time I watched, about 6 months ago or so, Max was single having got rid of that psycho wife of his, now adverts are showing he's getting married to someone else who looks like Mandy?  Also, what happened to Warren?  He was awesome.
> 
> What was the name of that character who was Benson's arch enemy and tried to kill them all by the way?



rob? 

warren is still in it. him and his fox of a gorlfriend are like bonnie and clyde now, except she's gone even more pyscho hard than him. it's great.


----------



## baldrick (Jun 25, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> rob?
> 
> warren is still in it. him and his fox of a gorlfriend are like bonnie and clyde now, except she's gone even more pyscho hard than him. it's great.


really? ace.  i did go off louise when she was all weepy and miserable for ages and ages over warren killing her husband.  good news


----------



## Sadken (Jun 25, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> rob?
> 
> warren is still in it. him and his fox of a gorlfriend are like bonnie and clyde now, except she's gone even more pyscho hard than him. it's great.



Ah, Louise is absolutely *insania* hot isn't she?  Even by Hollyoaks standards (which I don't normally go for) she's like a porcelain doll made out of fitness instead of conventional porcelain.  

That's great about Warren, I might give it a look again now.  Normally with T' Oaks, they get a great psycho and then fuck them up within six months.  I loved it when Warren was exerting control over Justin, that rang really true to life of my own experiences of hanging out with hard nutcases when I was younger.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 25, 2008)

baldrick said:


> really? ace.  i did go off louise when she was all weepy and miserable for ages and ages over warren killing her husband.  good news



yeah she started to find the fact that Warren killed her husband a bit of a turn on i think, like you do. Then she went to prison and got beaten up and now she's come out she's some hard as nails and angry and gangster and even scaring Warren a bit.

Justin is now a bayliff.


----------



## baldrick (Jun 25, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> Justin is now a bayliff.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah   

really?!  surely he's the worst bailiff ever?  far too much of a pushover.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 25, 2008)

baldrick said:


> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
> 
> really?!  surely he's the worst bailiff ever?  far too much of a pushover.



yup.

 his first job was the mcqueens.

you can imagine the rest....


----------



## keithy (Jun 25, 2008)

baldrick said:


> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
> 
> really?!  surely he's the worst bailiff ever?  far too much of a pushover.



all you'd have to say is "haha your freak twin sisters are dead and that" and he'd punch a wall then  run off crying


----------



## zoooo (Jun 25, 2008)

Someone is coming back! Who left recently!
And I am going to explode with excitedness!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 26, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Someone is coming back! Who left recently!
> And I am going to explode with excitedness!



tell tell tell!


----------



## baldrick (Jun 26, 2008)

I saw the end of last night's where niall was burning something - what was that all about?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 26, 2008)

baldrick said:


> I saw the end of last night's where niall was burning something - what was that all about?



he was burning the newspaper clipping of myra's baby story.

myra really is getting on my nerves in the storyline. her sad acting and mouth make me feel sicky.


----------



## Sadken (Jun 26, 2008)

Haha, I have no idea what you mean by "your freak twin sister".  Like I say, I haven't watched the show for about 6-8 months but it's totally mental how fast stories develop there; she's dead already you say?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 26, 2008)

Sadken said:


> Haha, I have no idea what you mean by "your freak twin sister".  Like I say, I haven't watched the show for about 6-8 months but it's totally mental how fast stories develop there; she's dead already you say?



sisters. he had 2 sisters who were twins and they were real ugg boots.

and they burned in that fire by that man who kept giving people roofies.


----------



## Sadken (Jun 26, 2008)

Like...._when_ did this occur?  I've got conflicting emotions going on here because, on the one hand, I've missed out on Hollyoaks plotlines because I've been really busy with a whole host of worthwhile pursuits for ages now but, on the other hand, I feel a sense of worthlessness and inferiority about not knowing very much about Hollyoaks.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 26, 2008)

Sadken said:


> Like...._when_ did this occur?  I've got conflicting emotions going on here because, on the one hand, I've missed out on Hollyoaks plotlines because I've been really busy with a whole host of worthwhile pursuits for ages now but, on the other hand, I feel a sense of worthlessness and inferiority about not knowing very much about Hollyoaks.



oh ages ago now. more than a year i reckon?

you should feel inferior about not knowing about what's going on in hollyoaks by the way.


----------



## Sadken (Jun 26, 2008)

I do.  I really do.


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 26, 2008)

Watch it again for a couple of weeks and you'll soon catch up with everything


----------



## keithy (Jun 26, 2008)

Sadken said:


> Like...._when_ did this occur?  I've got conflicting emotions going on here because, on the one hand, I've missed out on Hollyoaks plotlines because I've been really busy with a whole host of worthwhile pursuits for ages now but, on the other hand, I feel a sense of worthlessness and inferiority about not knowing very much about Hollyoaks.



it's a VERY important storyline because the twins are Justin's weak spot and everyon knows it! well, one of his weaknesses as let's face it, he is a rayt mardy  little prick... but also hot... but anyway.

So yeh, people in hollyoaks have often taunted him and he's cracked. 

YOUR SISTERS BURNED TO DEATH HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! LOOK, THIS IS SOPHIE IN THE ASHTRAY!!!! HEEE HEEEEEE


----------



## Sadken (Jun 26, 2008)

Haha, you've got a cracking turn of phrase, Keithy.  I have no idea what the fuck you are on about but you still made me laugh.


----------



## keithy (Jun 26, 2008)

Sadken said:


> Haha, you've got a cracking turn of phrase, Keithy.  I have no idea what the fuck you are on about but you still made me laugh.



that's reassuring, I thought my turn of phrase made me look like a slightly speshol 6 year old boy.


----------



## Sadken (Jun 26, 2008)

Oh, it does.


----------



## keithy (Jun 26, 2008)

oh


----------



## Sadken (Jun 26, 2008)

...in a good way


----------



## keithy (Jun 26, 2008)

hmmph.


----------



## dolly's gal (Jun 26, 2008)

keithy said:


> well, one of his weaknesses as let's face it, he is a rayt mardy  little prick... *but also hot*... but anyway.



are you actually blind?!


----------



## keithy (Jun 26, 2008)

dolly's gal said:


> are you actually blind?!



haha shat it, my excuse is that he was in it when I was still a teenager so it was ok... and I just haven't grown out of it yet. K?!?!


----------



## zoooo (Jun 26, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> tell tell tell!



Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaig.

To get back John Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaul. 

That's not a spoiler. That's just good news.
(I hope it isn't one, anyway..?)


----------



## keithy (Jun 26, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaig.
> 
> To get back John Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaul.
> 
> ...



OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so chuffed and that... but I did start to hate craig with an actual passion towards the end... hmmm..

wonder if vicar will kick his ass


----------



## dolly's gal (Jun 26, 2008)

sweet jesus i fancy the fuck out of john paul. he's such a total hottie.

*goes weak at the knees*


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 26, 2008)

i fancied justin when he was ramming becca which is a bit wrong seeing as he was a schoolboy. but hey, it's okay for beaky looking becca, it's okay for me.

jp is a hottie mcfittie, and i do find him and the priesty nakedy together a bit erotical.

i almost don't want craig to come back, i think he's a prickface. and priesty is way better.

fuck off craig.


----------



## baldrick (Jun 26, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaig.
> 
> To get back John Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaul.
> 
> ...


really?

god i so want a fistfight between craig and kieran 

i hope kieran smashes his ratty little face in


----------



## dolly's gal (Jun 26, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> jp is a hottie mcfittie, and i do find him and the priesty nakedy together a bit erotical.



ah to be the meat in their gay sandwich *sighs*


----------



## Hellsbells (Jun 26, 2008)

god I think JP has progressed a little since scrawny school boy Craig. Priesty is a REAL MAN (so to speak) 
Priesty and JP are so adorable


----------



## zoooo (Jun 26, 2008)

I do love Priesty, but I think Craig is much hotterer.
I think JP and Craig are meant to be together!
They would have such pretty children!


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 26, 2008)

I don't fancy any of the males on Hollyoaks...and most certainly not JP. He is just so miserable. I watch Hollyoaks on E4 ...and felt very angry with the writers etc tonight...


----------



## Jambooboo (Jun 26, 2008)

JP looks like something from a Romero film.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 26, 2008)

moonsi til said:


> I don't fancy any of the males on Hollyoaks...and most certainly not JP. He is just so miserable. I watch Hollyoaks on E4 ...and felt very angry with the writers etc tonight...



Me too. It was really sad and annoying. Annoying mainly because I was made sad by Hollyoaks. The shame!


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 26, 2008)

So... is max dead yet?


----------



## zoooo (Jun 26, 2008)

JP's beautiful!

Don't make me post an (admittedly slightly airbrushed) picture of him...


----------



## Jambooboo (Jun 26, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> So... is max dead yet?





Spoiler: Dead Max



Yup, knocked down by Niall straight after the wedding, with Tom and OB beside him.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 26, 2008)

Is the title of the spoiler not in itself a spoiler?


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 26, 2008)

moonsi til said:


> I don't fancy any of the males on HollyoaksQUOTE]
> 
> 
> You know who is really rank on Hollyoaks? That repulsive bouncer who suddenly the whole world wants to sleep with. He makes me feel nauseous whenever he is on screen.
> ...


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 26, 2008)

To be fair I knew ages ago.. just wasn't sure when.

Shame, really. Max was one of the few likeable characters left in the show.

Most of the rest are unrelentingly stupid, flawed or just unlikeable.

At least OB is back.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 26, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> To be fair I knew ages ago.. just wasn't sure when.
> 
> Shame, really. Max was one of the few likeable characters left in the show.
> 
> ...



Only for the wedding/funeral, surely? I am really worried about what will become of Tom. He is my very favourite character. He is a very together little boy for one who has gone through so much. Respect to Tom. 

I think all the McQueens are quite likeable, actually. I quite admired the leader one's outfit today.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 26, 2008)

I like the McQueens too.

I hate that rubbish no charisma Niall.

And the rubbish teen goth two.

And all the boys who look like Ian Brown.


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

milly molly said:


> Only for the wedding/funeral, surely? I am really worried about what will become of Tom. He is my very favourite character. He is a very together little boy for one who has gone through so much. Respect to Tom.



Naw. OB is back for good apparently.



> I think all the McQueens are quite likeable, actually. I quite admired the leader one's outfit today.



You jest?

Jackie looks like she eats tin cans... mercedes' knickers go up and down so quickly they leave friction burns on her thighs, Michaela has the most annoying face in the world.. and John Paul is just irritating. And their mum? Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 27, 2008)

Those are all the reasons I love them...


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

... love is blind.

And clearly deaf and a bit slow too...


----------



## zoooo (Jun 27, 2008)

That's me to a tee!

Could I be a Hollyoaks character?...


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

Can you do a sullen look and cope with the horrific death of many of your friends and relatives? If yes.. then yes.


----------



## dolly's gal (Jun 27, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> So... is max dead yet?



good question!  when is that motherfucker gunner kick the proverbial bucket? ff fuckings s!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 27, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> Naw. OB is back for good apparently.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Exactly. They are way aspirational. I wish I could be like Jackie. I'd like to stalk about with my hair scragged back issuing threats and demands of everyone in the village. 'Carry my baby! Leave my sister alone! Give me some leopard print tights and thigh high boots,' I'd scream. 

Instead, I float about being slightly ineffectual and being nice to people. Most people. Would that I was kickass like Jackie.

*thinks of all the mofos who'd get it if I was Jackie*

 JP is NOT annoying! Dear me, Kizmet.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 27, 2008)

]





moonsi til said:


> I don't fancy any of the males on HollyoaksQUOTE]
> 
> 
> You know who is really rank on Hollyoaks? That repulsive bouncer who suddenly the whole world wants to sleep with. He makes me feel nauseous whenever he is on screen.



i love that man! he cracks me up! he is complete ugg boots and the WORST actor in the world! this is why i love hollyoaks, for the sheer audacity of putting someone so fugly and crap in and making everyone swoon.

i heart the mcqueens. michaela's face really really confuses me though. i don't understand what's going on with it.

and i always forget that boring pregnant one is a mcqueen. she's a whiney whingebin.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 27, 2008)

electrogirl;7692538][QUOTE=milly molly said:


> i love that man! he cracks me up! he is complete ugg boots and the WORST actor in the world! this is why i love hollyoaks, for the sheer audacity of putting someone so fugly and crap in and making everyone swoon.
> 
> i heart the mcqueens. michaela's face really really confuses me though. i don't understand what's going on with it.
> 
> and i always forget that boring pregnant one is a mcqueen. she's a whiney whingebin.



He has no neck *retches*.

Oh she's simply dreadful. All this 'look at me, I wear cardigans and glasses ergo am intelligent' rubbish. Ugh, and her dreadful husband who manages to be the only man in the world who could make his brother look sexually attractive in comparison.

Michaela has the best eye make up EVAH!


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

milly molly said:


> Exactly. They are way aspirational. I wish I could be like Jackie. I'd like to stalk about with my hair scragged back issuing threats and demands of everyone in the village. 'Carry my baby! Leave my sister alone! Give me some leopard print tights and thigh high boots,' I'd scream.
> 
> Instead, I float about being slightly ineffectual and being nice to people. Most people. Would that I was kickass like Jackie.
> 
> *thinks of all the mofos who'd get it if I was Jackie*



Alright.. I'll give you Jackie... to be fair she's kinda hot in a 'I'm going to shag you then break off your knob and pick my teeth with it' way.



But you can't have the others... Mercedes, Michaela, JP, The mardi pregnant one, the mum.

Yuk! Even the cast of El Dorado weren't that irritating!

Okay the one with the ponytail - (Marcus?) - was.



> JP is NOT annoying! Dear me, Kizmet.



All those wistful looks at craig? Puurlease. "Oooh craig, if only you knew the pleasure a real man could bring you..."

Bah.


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

milly molly said:


> Michaela has the best eye make up EVAH!



If, by 'best', you mean 'most'.


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> i love that man!



If, by 'love', you mean 'want to kill in the face'.


----------



## Hellsbells (Jun 27, 2008)

oh my god i watched the E4 episode of Hollyoaks last night and feel completly traumatised. I cried for half an hour 
Is OB gonna look after tom now then?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 27, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> If, by 'love', you mean 'want to kill in the face'.



well yeah but he's soooooooooooo bad it makes me laugh. me and my friends just spend the whole episodes repeating him woodeny acting styled lines.


----------



## dodgepot (Jun 27, 2008)

michela is ace, as is jackie.


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> well yeah but he's soooooooooooo bad it makes me laugh. me and my friends just spend the whole episodes repeating him woodeny acting styled lines.



Once upon a time all of hollyoaks was like him....

... remembers wistfully back to the days of Kurt and Jambo....


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 27, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> Yuk! Even the cast of El Dorado weren't that irritating!
> 
> Okay the one with the ponytail - (Marcus?) - was.
> 
> ...



Marcus didn't have a ponytail did he? He was hot. Back to smarm again. Rarr.

Didn't Blair have a ponytail? I have a distinct teenage memory of him doing exercises.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 27, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> Once upon a time all of hollyoaks was like him....
> 
> ... remembers wistfully back to the days of Kurt and Jambo....



Mmm Kurt. He now has a passion for small dogs. 

I seem to be able to measure out my life, not with coffee spoons but, with boys in Hollyoaks I have had mild crushes on.


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

milly molly said:


> Marcus didn't have a ponytail did he? He was hot. Back to smarm again. Rarr.



I'm sure he did, you know. I have this distinct image of him in my head riding a horse along the beach with his black hair scraped back and pony tail flying in the wind...


... erm. I may have said too much....


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 27, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> I'm sure he did, you know. I have this distinct image of him in my head riding a horse along the beach with his black hair scraped back and pony tail flying in the wind...
> 
> 
> ... erm. I may have said too much....



I thought his hair was kept off his face by grease, not a hair band. But I could well be wrong. I bow down to your greater weirdness in this respect.


----------



## Barking_Mad (Jun 27, 2008)

OMG they killed Max!


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 27, 2008)

milly molly said:


> I bow down to your greater weirdness in this respect.



I'm going to take that as a compliment... even though it's blatantly not.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 27, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> I'm going to take that as a compliment... even though it's blatantly not.




tis.


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 27, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> oh my god i watched the E4 episode of Hollyoaks last night and feel completly traumatised. I cried for half an hour
> Is OB gonna look after tom now then?



I cried loads too...I really didn't want it to happen...poor Steph and Tom..


----------



## ymu (Jun 27, 2008)

Surely it'll be Mandy and not OB who will stay? OB has a woman and a new life to go to in New York - Mandy has just split up with hubby and is borrowing cash off Tony. She's bound to stay and wrangle with Cindy over who gets to look after Tom and his ginormous inheritance, whilst screwing up Tony and Jackie and giving Tina and Dom an excuse to keep the baby.


----------



## May Kasahara (Jun 27, 2008)

Max has gone to the great Drive'n'Buy in the sky.


----------



## keithy (Jun 28, 2008)

ymu said:


> Surely it'll be Mandy and not OB who will stay? OB has a woman and a new life to go to in New York - Mandy has just split up with hubby and is borrowing cash off Tony. She's bound to stay and wrangle with Cindy over who gets to look after Tom and his ginormous inheritance, whilst screwing up Tony and Jackie and *giving Tina and Dom an excuse to keep the baby.*



... so that it will come out that the baby is Russ's


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 28, 2008)

Kizmet said:


> Naw. OB is back for good apparently.



No, he's leaving for good (again) next week.  He just came back for Max's departure.

I have lots of spoilers if anyone is interested


----------



## keithy (Jun 28, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> No, he's leaving for good (again) next week.  He just came back for Max's departure.
> 
> I have lots of spoilers if anyone is interested



errrr YES


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 28, 2008)

Spoiler: more spoilers



Niall pushes Tina down the stairs causing her to give birth two months early.  She then finds out that she can't have any more children.

Alek returns

Jack Osbourne fakes his own death to get the family out of their debt problems

Calvin and Val share a kiss


----------



## keithy (Jun 28, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> Spoiler: more spoilers
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Oooooo!!!!


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 28, 2008)

KellyDJ said:


> Spoiler: more spoilers
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That first bit is fucked up  

These soap writers have a real gift for misery don't they? Killing someone off on his wedding day, now this...


----------



## Hellsbells (Jun 28, 2008)

who is Val?


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jun 28, 2008)

milly molly said:


> Only for the wedding/funeral, surely? I am really worried about what will become of Tom. He is my very favourite character. He is a very together little boy for one who has gone through so much. Respect to Tom.
> 
> I think all the McQueens are quite likeable, actually. I quite admired the leader one's outfit today.



Yes i particularly enjoy episodes where they give Michaela a lot of good lines. She reminds me of some total-radge-but-quite-lonely girls i remember from school. Very entertaining.

What they are doing to Tom is like proper child abuse man, it shouldn't be allowed!

Edit: Missed everyone talking about Michaela afterwards. I repeat MICHAELA RULES!


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jun 28, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> who is Val?



Calvins step mum.

Oooh, another bit of something close to incest, how exciting.   Although not as attractive as Reece and Beth.


----------



## Hellsbells (Jun 29, 2008)

diamarzipan said:


> Calvins step mum.
> 
> Oooh, another bit of something close to incest, how exciting.   Although not as attractive as Reece and Beth.



Oh please - that's just sick and completely unbelievable. Why on earth would Calvin be attracted to that awful step mum of his


----------



## Kizmet (Jun 29, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Oh please - that's just sick and completely unbelievable. Why on earth would Calvin be attracted to that awful step mum of his



Especially when he's got the one mcqueen that I always forget is a mcqueen...

Carmel.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jun 29, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Oh please - that's just sick and completely unbelievable. Why on earth would Calvin be attracted to that awful step mum of his



No i'm not attracted to her either,and i didn't write it, wind yer neck in!


----------



## ymu (Jun 29, 2008)

Excellent defeating of the purpose of a spoiler code there chaps, well done.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 29, 2008)

Hahaha!


----------



## KellyDJ (Jun 29, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Oh please - that's just sick and completely unbelievable. Why on earth would Calvin be attracted to that awful step mum of his



Blame the scriptwriters


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 30, 2008)

i thought i saw a bit of frisson between calvin and val a while back! but i blanked it out. that is ridiculous, but it is hollyoaks.

is niall going to get found out soon? because he's really boring me.

i love alek! do alek and carmel start pashing again? i would love that. calvin is the prettiest yet most boring character in the world.


----------



## baldrick (Jun 30, 2008)

Alek was lovely, glad he's coming back.

and calvin's step mum is a harridan  this is obviously a ploy to make the dullest man in hollyoaks slightly interesting.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 30, 2008)

they've got to find a way to reveal russ is the dad of the surrogate baby aswell, cos they seem to have forgotten about it.

it was revealed, in like, one episode and never mentioned again.

tony will DEFINITELY sleep with Mandy i reckon, it's just what he does.


----------



## Hellsbells (Jun 30, 2008)

diamarzipan said:


> No i'm not attracted to her either,and i didn't write it, wind yer neck in!



I wasn't having a go at you!!! My comment was directed at the riddiculous scriptwriters!


----------



## ymu (Jun 30, 2008)

Spoiler: gossip about the other spoiler



like this, see


----------



## keithy (Jun 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> they've got to find a way to reveal russ is the dad of the surrogate baby aswell, cos they seem to have forgotten about it.
> QUOTE]
> 
> see the spoiler! I reckon this will come out as part of the first bit of that spoiler posted up there.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 30, 2008)

Who the heck was Alek? I just can't remember him.


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 30, 2008)

Oh my god...Hollyoaks has gone all dark..


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jun 30, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> I wasn't having a go at you!!! My comment was directed at the riddiculous scriptwriters!



Sorry sorry sorry sorry, it's hard to gauge things online sometimes.. and I think i was having a bad day. I'm happy now because my friend bought me a sonic screwdriver.

And back to the scriptwriting... 


Spoiler:  tonights E4 hollyoaks 



Tina pushed down the stairs and fucked up junkie only witness...cliche! Come on guys this is getting silly.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 30, 2008)

Why exactly did Niall feel the need to do that? I turned away for about thirty seconds and suddenly he's a murdering bastard


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jun 30, 2008)

baldrick said:


> Alek was lovely, glad he's coming back.
> 
> and calvin's step mum is a harridan  this is obviously a ploy to make the dullest man in hollyoaks slightly interesting.



They tried that before with the other dull twat that shagged katie(justins bird), didn't they? The nerve of the man! They should really just cut down the number of cast members instead.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jun 30, 2008)

SpookyFrank said:


> Why exactly did Niall feel the need to do that? I turned away for about thirty seconds and suddenly he's a murdering bastard





Spoiler: nialls craic



He heard Tina discussing with Jaqui on the phone that she was not going to go ahead with the surragacy(sp?) and saw red, thinking of his own dark past.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 30, 2008)

It was a bloody stupid idea Tina had though.


----------



## Scarlette (Jun 30, 2008)

Well!!  I haven't looked at this thread for a few days and am astounded at all the news. 

Alek (he is the husband-for-passport of Head McQueen, right?) being back and this whole Val thing. Yuk. Calvin is rank. He had a face I wouldn't tire of slapping. He's just this dull snivelling loser. Like that other fellow who is now happily locked up. Thinking about it, half the village will be behind bars if they all get found out. Lucky that Calvin is the crappest cop in the world and never at work. 

I avoided Hollyoaks today cos I couldn't take the Max-mourning. Lucky too by the sounds of it (my sister's facebook status is that she cried at Hollyoaks). 

One thing I need to know: has all the Dog in the Pond bankrupcy business been sorted out?


----------



## moonsi til (Jul 1, 2008)

No to the dog in the pond thing...that is going to drag and drag. The only folk that having nothing to stress over seems to be the students Elliot etc.


----------



## electrogirl (Jul 1, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Who the heck was Alek? I just can't remember him.



That sweet foreign bloke that Jaqui had an arranged marriage with but who Carmel fell in love with.

This Niall storyline is BRILLIANT! It's soooooooooo stupid!

He's gone from being suave metro sexual cunning evil type to unhinged running people over and pushing people down stairs for no reason type.

Why doesn't he just kill Myra and do us all a favour?


----------



## electrogirl (Jul 1, 2008)

milly molly said:


> One thing I need to know: has all the Dog in the Pond bankrupcy business been sorted out?



nope. why doesn't jack just die? seriously. just die jack, just DIE.


----------



## keithy (Jul 1, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> nope. why doesn't jack just die? seriously. just die jack, just DIE.



I pray for this each night


----------



## zoooo (Jul 1, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> That sweet foreign bloke that Jaqui had an arranged marriage with but who Carmel fell in love with.



Oh of COURSE. Thanks.
I seem to entirely forget people the second they leave!
(Apart from gay old lovely Craig.)


----------



## electrogirl (Jul 1, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Oh of COURSE. Thanks.
> I seem to entirely forget people the second they leave!
> (Apart from gay old lovely Craig.)



not lovely. mean silly craig.

lovely _priesty_.


----------



## ymu (Jul 1, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> not lovely. mean silly craig.
> 
> lovely _priesty_.


^^This.


----------



## keithy (Jul 1, 2008)

erm... I kept wishing misery upon Max and Steph when they got back together... cos I'm bitter and that... but now I want Steph to have her husband back


----------



## zoooo (Jul 1, 2008)

Nooo!
Lovely Craig, who's been missing lovely JP and is coming back to declare his undying love!

Best storyline ever. 
Priesty can bugger off and marry Jesus again.


----------



## Looby (Jul 1, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Nooo!
> Lovely Craig, who's been missing lovely JP and is coming back to declare his undying love!



Craig was a twat who treated JP and Sarah like shit, I fucking hated him.  I don't think he ever loved JP. 

Can't believe those spoilers- brilliant.


----------



## Kizmet (Jul 1, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Nooo!
> Lovely Craig, who's been missing lovely JP and is coming back to declare his undying love!



That's the thing about Hollyoaks... about 3 weeks after any character declares their undying love they die in some horiffic accident.


----------



## zoooo (Jul 2, 2008)

No no no. In my head, JP and Craig are going to get married, have dirty dirty sex and live happily ever after.


----------



## electrogirl (Jul 2, 2008)

zoooo said:


> No no no. In my head, JP and Craig are going to get married, have dirty dirty sex and live happily ever after.



you've gone wrong! craig is a weasel. i once thought they were true love, but when craigy woulcn't hold jp's hand...well..he's a nobend.

priesty is lovely and manly and sexy and loves jp and they should live happily ever after.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jul 2, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> you've gone wrong! craig is a weasel. i once thought they were true love, but when craigy woulcn't hold jp's hand...well..he's a nobend.
> 
> priesty is lovely and manly and sexy and loves jp and they should live happily ever after.



Which is why nasty hollyoaks is going to pull them to pieces. 

Why isn't there a suitable crying smilie on here?


----------



## zoooo (Jul 2, 2008)

But, but, maybe Craig will come back all comfortable with himself. He was only young! And his brother was a gay basher!

But most importantly...... he's soooo pretty it makes me want to cry! 







They are a better match. They can even borrow each other's clothes.
Whereas, as was established the other day, Priesty is size 'large', and people shouldn't borrow his suits.


----------



## baldrick (Jul 2, 2008)

nah, JP and priesty FTW 

he treated JP and sarah so badly, how can you like him so much?!


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jul 2, 2008)

zoooo said:


>



Um... oooh. If you put it like that...... *rinses pants out*


----------



## zoooo (Jul 2, 2008)

Ha!
See, you can't beat two pretty teenage boys going at it.

Ahem... who said that? 



baldrick said:


> nah, JP and priesty FTW
> 
> he treated JP and sarah so badly, how can you like him so much?!



I know. But as is my usual standby excuse: he's just misunderstood.


----------



## moonsi til (Jul 18, 2008)

oohh think I may be tiring a bit of Hollyoaks...I wanted tonights episode on ch4 to hurry up and finish.


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 18, 2008)

I heart priesty, and I want him and JP to be happy for ever and ever.

Craig can fuck off.


----------



## zoooo (Jul 19, 2008)

I hate you all.

Priesty has a weird squashed face.
Yes, that is all I can think of to say about him. Live with it.


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Jul 30, 2008)

I love this Banana episode. Any chance of love blossoming between Hannah and Elliot? We haven't had some decent Elliot times since YOU'RE THE GAY TART OF HOLLYOAKS!

And then BANG with the breast feeding at the end. This is H-oaks at it's best, balancing out the drama with some humour.


----------



## baldrick (Jul 31, 2008)

I missed it last night, a mate popped round for cups of tea at the wrong time


----------



## electrogirl (Jul 31, 2008)

diamarzipan said:


> I love this Banana episode. Any chance of love blossoming between Hannah and Elliot? We haven't had some decent Elliot times since YOU'RE THE GAY TART OF HOLLYOAKS!
> 
> And then BANG with the breast feeding at the end. This is H-oaks at it's best, balancing out the drama with some humour.



ha the gay tart of hollyoaks was great.

he should deffo go with hannah and not chinny chin suuuruuuuh.


----------



## electrogirl (Jul 31, 2008)

when is shitface craig back?


----------



## fuBganger (Jul 31, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> when is shitface craig back?



I would like to second that question. I miss shouting "Craig! How very dare you, nasty bastard!" at the telly while eating my dins.


----------



## Looby (Jul 31, 2008)

What happened tonight I missed it?


----------



## equationgirl (Aug 1, 2008)

The dull on was crying and Val gave him a hug. They found Sasha, dragged her back, locked her in her room then the dull one gives her some foilwrapped smack.

Who's betting she dies in her room of an overdose?


----------



## Looby (Aug 1, 2008)

equationgirl said:


> The dull on was crying and Val gave him a hug. They found Sasha, dragged her back, locked her in her room then the dull one gives her some foilwrapped smack.
> 
> Who's betting she dies in her room of an overdose?



That's tonight.  Thanks anyway.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Aug 5, 2008)

Hold on, hold on a minute. I caught a bit today. 

Max is dead? 
The landlord isn't dead?


----------



## zoooo (Aug 5, 2008)

It's so the wrong way around isn't it?! 

Erm, I don't get it either. Who were they saying was actually in the coffin? Kris's dad? When did he die? Did they kill him?

Sooo confused.


----------



## moonsi til (Aug 5, 2008)

don't be confused. Kris and his dad had a tiff about Kris wearing girlie clothes and he went to the pub to get pissed but had nowhere to live. I think that he was AWOL from a goth GF in Ireland.

Meanwhile Jack was trying to summon the courage to take an OD in order for Frankie to get his life insurance cash...he could not do it. Darren finds him and they have this huge heart to heart chat. Further along they go outside to empty the bins or something and they find the dad of Kris lying dead in the carpark. They then hatch the cunning plan of pretending that the dead man is Jack. Jack is actually in a B&B around the corner.

During all this Newt is experiencing malevolent voices telling him to kill Jack which he picks up a hammer and decides to go and do this. He comes across Darren and the dead body (does not see the body fully) and Darren tells him Jack is dead. Newt now experiences deluisional thinking that he killed Jack and at his sham funeral confessed all to Jack's copper mate. No-one believed him.

Newt continues to be in a psychotic hell with no-one noticing and tonight when Darrens phone was ringing picked it up and it was Jack !!! He is not doing good at all.

Darren knows it was Kris's dad as he had to destroy his bag etc. He is currently plagued by guilt that he denied the man help and kicked him out the pub drunk to where he met his death by heart attack. He got Kris to be a pall bearer at the funeral by saying 'it's only right'...

Frankie tried to view Jacks body but Darren stopped her. Post mortem results are not consistent with Jacks life in that they showed massive liver damage. 'Jack' has been buried and not cremated in order for his body to be exhumed later.


It's all going on!


----------



## zoooo (Aug 5, 2008)

FLIPPING JIMINY!

Thanks for that, moonsi_til!


----------



## keithy (Aug 5, 2008)

moonsi_til, do you reckon they're going to dig him back up to investigate the apparent murder when people FINALLY realise newt has actually lost it and perhaps consider he could have done it?


----------



## ymu (Aug 6, 2008)

There was a post mortem, so exhumation isn't likely unless suspicions are raised about his true identity. However, this is Hollyoaks, where an entire family just spent the day locked in their house waiting for a locksmith to come and pick up their keys from outside the front door and unlock it - presumably they forgot all their friends phone numbers, or didn't want to trouble them - so your plot prediction is entirely likely.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Aug 6, 2008)

Bilmey.

So how did Max die.


----------



## zoooo (Aug 6, 2008)

The most dull boring character in the history of Hollyoaks (Niall) hit him with his car, when he was aiming for the little kid.


----------



## Felina (Aug 6, 2008)

ymu said:


> There was a post mortem, so exhumation isn't likely unless suspicions are raised about his true identity. However, this is Hollyoaks, where an entire family just spent the day locked in their house waiting for a locksmith to come and pick up their keys from outside the front door and unlock it - presumably they forgot all their friends phone numbers, or didn't want to trouble them - so your plot prediction is entirely likely.



haha, I hadn't thought about that!  I'm as bad as the script writers


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Aug 6, 2008)

Who is Niall? What little kid?


----------



## Felina (Aug 6, 2008)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Who is Niall? What little kid?



Myra's secret son.  The little kid is Tom, Max's brother.

You're going to ask who Myra is now aren't you?


----------



## moonsi til (Aug 6, 2008)

keithy said:


> moonsi_til, do you reckon they're going to dig him back up to investigate the apparent murder when people FINALLY realise newt has actually lost it and perhaps consider he could have done it?





I think that will happen. According to Frankie the post mortem does not tally with the blood profile that Jack had whilst in hospital during his heart attack. The blood profile of the dead man (Kris's dad) detail extensive liver damage which Jack's did not. Frankie mentioned this at the time but Darren managed to blag it.

Myra M'Queen mother of Niall the hairdresser who says he is love with Steph and who killed her husband Max on their wedding day is currently upset as she found out at Jacks funeral that Jack was responsible for catching her old criminal lover who has since died. This guy (Robert I think) will turn out to be Niall's dad .


----------



## ymu (Aug 7, 2008)

moonsi til said:


> This guy (Robert I think) will turn out to be Niall's dad .


He is. She said it to Kieron outside the pub - "if he hadn't been put away, maybe my mum would have let me keep ..."<voice trails away; looks wistful>


100% so far keithy. A+


----------



## subversplat (Aug 27, 2008)

Hrm, maybe Newt will overdose on meds and stop boring my telly


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Sep 3, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> ha the gay tart of hollyoaks was great.
> 
> he should deffo go with hannah and not chinny chin suuuruuuuh.





Spoiler: Big actual spoiler



Hang in there, he eventually does!


----------



## kyser_soze (Sep 3, 2008)

So have there been any bum rape stories recently?


----------



## rob fade (Sep 4, 2008)

OMFG! Anyone just see the E4episode?


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 4, 2008)

rob fade said:


> OMFG! Anyone just see the E4episode?



i'm going to watch it on plus one.

i think i knows what happens though.


----------



## tar1984 (Sep 4, 2008)

what happens?  ive not been watching hollyoaks much recently but i always read this thread to keep up with whats going on, so when i do watch it im not just sitting there all confused trying to work out what the fuck is going on.


----------



## keithy (Sep 4, 2008)

I want to see it.... does steph commit suicide?

I don't know what big thing is going to happen or who will die!!!


----------



## pengaleng (Sep 4, 2008)

rob fade said:


> OMFG! Anyone just see the E4episode?



I just watched it!!!!!! OMG!!!


----------



## pengaleng (Sep 4, 2008)

Spoiler: tomorrows episode



Niall finds out that Keiron knows he's Myras son (I missed this first bit - switched on when they were sitting at the table) anyway keiron was drinking and his vision was blurry and shit, realises that niall must have dosed him, turns out that he did, as keiron is ODing niall is confessing to pushing tina down the stairs, injecting michaela with heroin and all sorts of other shit he's done, keiron realises what hes done but its too late, while all this is happening craig is trying to make jp realise he made a mistake, they have bumsex then jp goes to see keiron, walks in and he's on the floor dead!


----------



## keithy (Sep 5, 2008)

tribal_princess said:


> Spoiler: tomorrows episode
> 
> 
> 
> Niall finds out that Keiron knows he's Myras son (I missed this first bit - switched on when they were sitting at the table) anyway keiron was drinking and his vision was blurry and shit, realises that niall must have dosed him, turns out that he did, as keiron is ODing niall is confessing to pushing tina down the stairs, injecting michaela with heroin and all sorts of other shit he's done, keiron realises what hes done but its too late, while all this is happening craig is trying to make jp realise he made a mistake, they have bumsex then jp goes to see keiron, walks in and he's on the floor dead!



OH ME GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!

so wish I hadn't read that, would have shocked me a bit I reckon 

Glad though. oooo.


----------



## pengaleng (Sep 5, 2008)

init!


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 5, 2008)

this is awful. 

i blame EVERYTHIGN on craig.


----------



## keithy (Sep 5, 2008)

Spoiler: OH BABY



It's like fookin Romeo and Romeo, but with a 'contemporary' twist!!


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 5, 2008)

why is craig so muttery now?

he's all  mumbly and low pitched. does he think this makes him interesting?


----------



## keithy (Sep 5, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> why is craig so muttery now?
> 
> he's all  mumbly and low pitched. does he think this makes him interesting?



It's because now he's been transformed into some kind of sexy wrongun on t'side innit, or we're supposed to think that. He wer always a fookin geeky loser piece of shite and now look. NOW LOOK. 

I'd gee him one tho tbf. Rayt in the face.


----------



## Hellsbells (Sep 5, 2008)

urgh that craig has such smug self satisfied little grins


----------



## keithy (Sep 5, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> urgh that craig has such smug self satisfied little grins



Yeh it makes me want to sit on his face and shut him the fuck up


----------



## Jambooboo (Sep 5, 2008)

I _hate_ Craig. Mostly because he was shagging Sarah.


----------



## tar1984 (Sep 5, 2008)

right thats it.  im _definately_ watching it tonight!


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 5, 2008)

keithy said:


> It's because now he's been transformed into some kind of sexy wrongun on t'side innit, or we're supposed to think that. He wer always a fookin geeky loser piece of shite and now look. NOW LOOK.
> 
> I'd gee him one tho tbf. Rayt in the face.



oh i'd hatefuck him right up.


----------



## rob fade (Sep 5, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> oh i'd hatefuck him right up.



LOLINGTONS! 
Deserves it tho, smarmy twat.


----------



## zoooo (Sep 5, 2008)

Leave Craig aloooone!
He and JP are meant to be!

They are so flipping HOT.


----------



## Tank Girl (Sep 5, 2008)

craig is creepy!

I worry about you zoooo.


----------



## cypher79 (Sep 5, 2008)

does anyone know the name of that Roots Manuva track that was playing on the end credits of todays show?


----------



## Doctor Carrot (Sep 5, 2008)

cypher79 said:


> does anyone know the name of that Roots Manuva track that was playing on the end credits of todays show?



All things to all men, it's by the cinematic orchestra with him rapping over it and is on their album called everyday.


----------



## cypher79 (Sep 5, 2008)

Smoky said:


> All things to all men, it's by the cinematic orchestra with him rapping over it.



Thanks 

So its not on any of Roots Manuva's albums then?

(fucking awesome track btw, never heard it before)


----------



## Doctor Carrot (Sep 5, 2008)

cypher79 said:


> Thanks
> 
> So its not on any of Roots Manuva's albums then?
> 
> (fucking awesome track btw, never heard it before)



Possibly it is but I don't know, I only have one roots album and this song isn't on it.  Yeah it's a beautiful song


----------



## rob fade (Sep 5, 2008)

And it's only going to get worse for the mcqueens! 

ps It's only on Cinematic's album, AFAIK.


----------



## rollinder (Sep 5, 2008)

cypher79 said:


> does anyone know the name of that Roots Manuva track that was playing on the end credits of todays show?


 


Smoky said:


> All things to all men, it's by the cinematic orchestra with him rapping over it and is on their album called everyday.


 
nice one - was just about to ask what the song on credits was.

just watched Hollyoaks - pretty well done, well sad  and what about the episod starting with a snippet of Morresy - I Have Forgiven Jesus


----------



## pigtails (Sep 7, 2008)

GUTTED! i'm devastated he was one of my favourites


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 8, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Leave Craig aloooone!
> He and JP are meant to be!
> 
> They are so flipping HOT.



ugh he's looks like a greazeball now. no way. they had their time, now it's over and JP has gone on to new sexy gay pastures in the shape of lovely priesty.

i'm mad about him being dead very very mad.

thing is though, _WHY_ is Niall so bitter? like, i know he got given up and whatnot, and boohoo it'svery sad, but really move on maybe. And what's his _PLAN_? he hasn't actually done anything to the mcqueens for ages, is there going to be some crescendo? why doesn't he just shout at mama mcqueen and kill them all or something?

it's sucha slowburner it's boring.


----------



## zoooo (Sep 8, 2008)

Plus he has a head like a potato.


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 8, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Plus he has a head like a potato.



and tiny eyes like a shrimp


----------



## rob fade (Sep 8, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> ugh he's looks like a greazeball now. no way. they had their time, now it's over and JP has gone on to new sexy gay pastures in the shape of lovely priesty.
> 
> i'm mad about him being dead very very mad.
> 
> ...



All will become clear soon........


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 8, 2008)

rob fade said:


> All will become clear soon........



about shitting time


----------



## zoooo (Sep 8, 2008)

John Paul's mum is the shittest mum in the universe.

I hateth her.


----------



## electrogirl (Sep 9, 2008)

zoooo said:


> John Paul's mum is the shittest mum in the universe.
> 
> I hateth her.



i hate her goblin gappy tooth face.

and she doesn't understand anything,.


----------



## moonsi til (Sep 18, 2008)

OOooh I'm watching it on E4..it's all got quite exciting.


----------



## zoooo (Sep 18, 2008)

Woo! And Hoo!


----------



## moonsi til (Sep 22, 2008)

Zac and Michaela getting it on shocker....

Michaela 'I'm so gonna regret this in the morning'

Zac 'I'm regretting it now like'


----------



## zoooo (Sep 22, 2008)

Heh. Bless her.
I love how thingy and his girlfriend think she's a lesbian.


----------



## pigtails (Sep 22, 2008)

Michaela is the best!


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 22, 2008)

diid you know that hair is a wig ?? in rl she has short white blonde hair and looks like a sexy minx....


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 22, 2008)

and she is 19 so im not a wrong perv


----------



## zoooo (Sep 22, 2008)

A wig???

Do we have pictoral evidence?


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 22, 2008)

naa i read it in an interview with a pic of her looking normal , soz


----------



## ruffneck23 (Sep 22, 2008)

no pics but a spesh with her talking about it

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5naRT9Lg0p0


----------



## zoooo (Sep 22, 2008)

Ah well. I'll just imagine it. 

Maybe they all wear wigs....


----------



## moonsi til (Sep 26, 2008)

eurgh...I can't stand Tina...


----------



## silver (Sep 30, 2008)

Please someone help!!?? 

I'm dead confused after yesterdays episode.... so Malachy has HIV, which he hadn't told Mercedes, so Kris ended up telling her, because somehow it was her fault he'd been ill?? 

So how was it fault that Kris was ill? And does he have HIV too? or was he just generally ill?


----------



## rollinder (Sep 30, 2008)

Kris fucked Mercedes and then found out Malachy has HIV and he could've caught it off her - I think


----------



## ymu (Sep 30, 2008)

Yes - and took some precautionary drugs to stave off the virus, which have nasty side effects - hence his being ill.


----------



## silver (Sep 30, 2008)

Ahhh, well that makes as much sense as Hollyoakes ever does, I thought Kris was gay 

Ta folks


----------



## pigtails (Sep 30, 2008)

silver said:


> Ahhh, well that makes as much sense as Hollyoakes ever does, I thought Kris was gay
> 
> Ta folks



He's not fussy!


----------



## subversplat (Sep 30, 2008)

Nobody mentioned to these plonkers that HIV takes 3 months to show up on a test?


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 11, 2008)

oh gawd. hollyoaks looks cracking next week. there seems to be some kind of Sophie's Choice action crossed with SAW.

gappy tooth goblin mum is going to struggle here i think, her actin not so good you knows.

did anyone see the post-credit ending when mama mcqueen bent over to pick something up and then let a big trump out as she did it?

was pretty weird. most random ending i've seen for a while.


----------



## zoooo (Oct 11, 2008)

:O
I missed that!

Yes next week looks fantastic!
Might ALMOST make the past few months of deadly boring Niall action worth it. Not sure though.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 11, 2008)

zoooo said:


> :O
> I missed that!
> 
> Yes next week looks fantastic!
> Might ALMOST make the past few months of deadly boring Niall action worth it. Not sure though.



he's grown a fluffy beard though. cos like, he's well mental, or something, and that's what mentals do. right?


----------



## pengaleng (Oct 11, 2008)

moonsi til said:


> eurgh...I can't stand Tina...



init, russ is such a mug, I'd have gone and left the stupid bitch.


----------



## pengaleng (Oct 11, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> he's grown a fluffy beard though. cos like, he's well mental, or something, and that's what mentals do. right?



LOL jakes 'madbeerd'


----------



## cozmikbrew (Oct 11, 2008)

FUCK ME WITH A COPY OF "CHAT"!!hollyoaks!!!!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 11, 2008)

tribal_princess said:


> init, russ is such a mug, I'd have gone and left the stupid bitch.



tina is a total flarey nostril cunt. 'you're not my heathcliffe anymore dom'

what a fadge.

i loved it when she tried to get all sexy with russ and he was like 'er no' and she looked like a dick.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 11, 2008)

tribal_princess said:


> LOL jakes 'madbeerd'



at least it coveredup that weirdo growth on his lip that grew when he got angry.
i think it was the source of his evil. if they just lopped it off he would've been fine.


----------



## moonsi til (Oct 14, 2008)

OMG I'm totally loving Hollyoaks right now ...and just realised that I won't be at home for the next 3 nights viewing *gutted*


----------



## tarannau (Oct 14, 2008)

Don't worry. The omnibus will only be on a few times over the weekend.


----------



## Scarlette (Oct 14, 2008)

I hate the whole Newt being only one who can save day and getting sectioned thing. That made me go aaaargh!


----------



## tarannau (Oct 16, 2008)

That had the most hilarious special effects I've seen in quite  a while. Escaping pigeons ftw


----------



## zoooo (Oct 16, 2008)

Oh yes! The pigeons were awesome!!

I watched tomorrow's on E4 and it too has many special moments.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 16, 2008)

jean paul looks way sexy all dirty yum in tomorrows episode.


----------



## zoooo (Oct 16, 2008)

I agree most fully.


----------



## Looby (Oct 16, 2008)

I think I've missed something. Has Niall had JP captive since he left Hollyoaks?


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 16, 2008)

zoooo said:


> I agree most fully.



it kind of looked like he was wearing guyliner. bb stuart style.

hothottyhot.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 22, 2008)

i love jackie


----------



## Kizmet (Oct 27, 2008)

Oh.. by the way.. on the ugly mugs thread:


----------



## pigtails (Oct 27, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Oh yes! The pigeons were awesome!!



very jon woo!


----------



## Hellsbells (Oct 27, 2008)

Has JP left for good now? 
If so, I have no other reason left for continuing to watch hollyoaks 

I was very dissapointed by his crappy, nothingy exit. And to think, he's now gone off to be with that smarmy, slimy Craig, who really really doesn't deserve to even breathe the same air as him


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 29, 2008)

Er hello....

Ravi is gay??!!!

That was WELL out of the blue.


----------



## ruffneck23 (Oct 29, 2008)

well he is Bi , so therefore greeedy


----------



## Hellsbells (Oct 29, 2008)

Yes but this is Russ we're talking about here - who could not be attracted to Russ, male or female


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 29, 2008)

Hellsbells said:


> Yes but this is Russ we're talking about here - who could not be attracted to Russ, male or female



he talks too soft. and he's incredibly boring.

and his name is...Russ.

he's hardly the type of bloke that would push me out of the closet.


----------



## Hellsbells (Oct 29, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> he talks too soft. and he's incredibly boring.
> 
> and his name is...Russ.
> 
> he's hardly the type of bloke that would push me out of the closet.



I wasn't talking about his personality! I meant if he just sat quietly in the corner and looked pretty...


----------



## moonsi til (Oct 29, 2008)

ooh Hollyoaks thread action. I'm still loving Hollyoaks but gutted I missed the whole Niall siege thing cos of work and weekend away.Then I couldn't get 
4OD to work.

Now that I'm having to consider Russ I would fall on the side that he is sexy...which is prob the first time I have thought that about Hollyoaks men though I guess Warren is alright.


----------



## zoooo (Oct 29, 2008)

Which one is Russ?

I watch it all the time, but there's a whole chunk of characters I don't know the names of...


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 29, 2008)

moonsi til said:


> ooh Hollyoaks thread action. I'm still loving Hollyoaks but gutted I missed the whole Niall siege thing cos of work and weekend away.Then I couldn't get
> 4OD to work.
> 
> Now that I'm having to consider Russ I would fall on the side that he is sexy...which is prob the first time I have thought that about Hollyoaks men though I guess Warren is alright.



Warren is bad sexy yes. I think they need a new influx of hotties because JP has left and Justin stopped being sexy when he turned 18





zoooo said:


> Which one is Russ?
> 
> I watch it all the time, but there's a whole chunk of characters I don't know the names of...



Russ is handsome one with small eyes who married Mercedes but then copped off with boring dowdy dead McQueen and she had his baby but said it was Tony's brothers, and he was going o go travelling with sexy brief arbitrary blonde postman character. but then the truth came out and he stayed.

And then Zavvi tried to pash him.


I was just watching the aftershow of the National TV Awards and Steph was singing Candyman by Aguilera....BADLY.

it made me sad.


----------



## Madusa (Oct 29, 2008)

So the last time I watched this, Mercedes was depressed about her HIV... was it confirmed then...how did she get that?

I thought it was the piggy blonde McQueen who had the scare cos she shared/got pricked by a needle or something...


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> So the last time I watched this, Mercedes was depressed about her HIV... was it confirmed then...how did she get that?
> 
> I thought it was the piggy blonde McQueen who had the scare cos she shared/got pricked by a needle or something...



Nah she got injected with heroin, by crappest villain ever Niall.

Mercedes still doesn't know fo sho that she got the aids. I don't know why seeing as she's been in hopsital..they would've done tests?

I reckon it'll turn out she doesn't.


----------



## zoooo (Oct 30, 2008)

Oh thaaat's Russ.

I'm all up to speed now. 

Niall looked all different and better on the TV Awards.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

zoooo said:


> Oh thaaat's Russ.
> 
> I'm all up to speed now.
> 
> Niall looked all different and better on the TV Awards.



and Warren's drunken harpee wife is leaving on Christmas day I found out!


----------



## zoooo (Oct 30, 2008)

You were watching the TV Awards backstage toooo!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

zoooo said:


> You were watching the TV Awards backstage toooo!



 

A bit, maybe.

I lovd that while The Saturdays were singing their little hottie teenage hearts out, they showed the audience totally ignoring them and more interested in the bar etc..

I mentioned the Steph karaoke thing earlier, did you see it?


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> Nah she got injected with heroin, by crappest villain ever Niall.
> 
> Mercedes still doesn't know fo sho that she got the aids. I don't know why seeing as she's been in hopsital..they would've done tests?
> 
> I reckon it'll turn out she doesn't.



'Hopsital'


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> 'Hopsital'



totally on purpose. alright?


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> totally on purpose. alright?



Totally!

It sounds waaay better!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

So the Louise-Warren-Mandy storyline..

Are we Team Louise or Team Mandy?

Oh and am loving Wifebeater Ratface Ste and Sexy Schoolboy Justin living together and being bailiffs.


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

Havent seen it for an age, but I'm going for Team Louise. Fucken could never stand Mandy! 


Oh and Ste...is he still beating our Amy?


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Havent seen it for an age, but I'm going for Team Louise. Fucken could never stand Mandy!



she is a total pissflap. i hated her since she worked as a waitress and always look liked she was off to a nightclub.

Did anyone see her hollywood debut in the new batman film btw??

No?

Oh you must have blinked.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Oh and drunk Louise is hilarious. I liked it when she set up Mandy and boring Cunningham twin.

All red wine and falling over everywhere.

And the BEST was when she woke up in a SKIP!

LOLZ!


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

Mandy the Slaaag!

She's SUCH a bitch, but i cant really remember the event that made me start hating her... but it was a big one... didnt she used to go out with Max the ferret though and he was in love with her before their parents got married is this another one of my made up storylines like the Gary Lucy?


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> Oh and drunk Louise is hilarious. I liked it when she set up Mandy and boring Cunningham twin.
> 
> All red wine and falling over everywhere.
> 
> ...



haha, I saw when she was all watchy watchy when Mandy the Slaag was hugging Tony's brother and she was like ''ooh, dont they look close'' to Warren and he was like ''Do they...?'' 

What's so great about Warren anyway? He's a knob who's always got his chest puffed up like Johnny Bravo or somesuch. He's not even fit.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Mandy the Slaaag!
> 
> She's SUCH a bitch, but i cant really remember the event that made me start hating her... but it was a big one... didnt she used to go out with Max the ferret though and he was in love with her before their parents got married is this another one of my made up storylines like the Gary Lucy?





you are blates a big tv liar.

i don't remember her banging max, but she definitely banged luke before he got the bumrape, and then sexyben, (behind luke's back ,schlag), then she went out with Tony and she beat him up a bit.

then she went off to hollywood to appear in batman for 3 seconds and then came back and started banging warren.

oh and remember she lad lesbian stalker Laura? Who was almost the worst actor i have ever seen until Zavvi came along.

WHY DO I HAVE ALL THIS INFORMATION?!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> haha, I saw when she was all watchy watchy when Mandy the Slaag was hugging Tony's brother and she was like ''ooh, dont they look close'' to Warren and he was like ''Do they...?''
> 
> What's so great about Warren anyway? He's a knob who's always got his chest puffed up like Johnny Bravo or somesuch. He's not even fit.



Yeah and after she left, Tony's brother was taking the mick out of her going 'ooh theres nothing better than a merloooot' and it was funny.

And i remember thinking, wow, that's the most entertaining thing you've ever done Tony's brother, keep it up and I might even learn your name! But he didn't so, neither did i.

Warren is definitely puffy puff chest. I think he's kind of thug sexy. In a way. But only cos it's slim pickings at the moment.


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> you are blates a big tv liar.
> 
> i don't remember her banging max, but she definitely banged luke before he got the bumrape, and then sexyben, (behind luke's back ,schlag), then she went out with Tony and she beat him up a bit.
> 
> ...




*OH YEAH!!!!* That's why I hated Mandy... for beating up Tony - I mean he's a tosser, but he dont deserve that bitch putting her hands on him! 

But I SWEAR, if she werent banging Max, he was majorly in love with her but then had to cull his feelings cos he was gonna be her brother, innit?


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> *OH YEAH!!!!* That's why I hated Mandy... for beating up Tony - I mean he's a tosser, but he dont deserve that bitch putting her hands on him!
> 
> But I SWEAR, if she werent banging Max, he was majorly in love with her but then had to cull his feelings cos he was gonna be her brother, innit?



oh yeah he was! ugh. So there was a grain of truth in your web of lies!


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

The fittest guy they ever had in Hollyoaks was Fin... and then that copper bloke who's still in it. What's happening with him now?? He seemed in a bad way...


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> The fittest guy they ever had in Hollyoaks was Fin... and then that copper bloke who's still in it. What's happening with him now?? He seemed in a bad way...



Finn was hottie alotty. Ben was superhot aswell.

That copper is fit, i know this cos my brain tells me so, but also he is SOOO boring that i cannot fancy him.

He went away cos he's being a real pussy about this thing with Warren. I don't really understand what this thing with Warren he is. I think he was privy to some illegal goings on.

Basically any storyline with fake copper = boring.

Even the one where his step mum tried to tongue him didn't go anywhere.


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

Oh yeah, forgot about Ben, yeah he was alright. Not as good as Fin, mind.  When you initially mentioned Ben, I had an image of Lewis in my head. Urgh, Lewis! 

Copper bloke is very boring, yes.


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Oh yeah, forgot about Ben, yeah he was alright. Not as good as Fin, mind.  When you initially mentioned Ben, I had an image of Lewis in my head. Urgh, Lewis!
> 
> Copper bloke is very boring, yes.



Lewis UGH. With that earring. I remember when him and Ruth has outdoor sexytime in Late Night Hollyoaks and I was nearly as disturbed as when Luke got the bonnet treatment.

Ruth was awful. 'Im doing my dissssertaion Lewis..my disssertttattiiion'

as if noone has ever done a fucking dissertation before.


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> Lewis UGH. With that earring. I remember when him and Ruth has outdoor sexytime in Late Night Hollyoaks and I was nearly as disturbed as when Luke got the bonnet treatment.
> 
> Ruth was awful. 'Im doing my dissssertaion Lewis..my disssertttattiiion'
> 
> as if noone has ever done a fucking dissertation before.



Lewwwiiiissssss!!! 

And then he cheated on her... probably with Mandy!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Lewwwiiiissssss!!!
> 
> And then he cheated on her... probably with Mandy!



sicko


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

It soo happened!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> It soo happened!



What, in Hollyoaks late night incest special?


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> What, in Hollyoaks late night incest special?



You'd tune in though!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> You'd tune in though!



fuck yeah i was just worried in case i missed it!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Finn was on Saturday Kitchen the other day.

Still hot and a bit grumpy.

Shame he went off to be on a barge with Tony's slag mum.


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

Begone with this bollocks! I'm off to bed. x


----------



## Madusa (Oct 30, 2008)

electrogirl said:


> Finn was on Saturday Kitchen the other day.
> 
> Still hot and a bit grumpy.
> 
> Shame he went off to be on a barge with Tony's slag mum.



I dont remember Tony's mum...just Max and that's mum with the wild ginger hair. She was mental!


----------



## electrogirl (Oct 30, 2008)

Madusa said:


> Begone with this bollocks! I'm off to bed. x



yeah fucking hell.

Night fellow luke bumrape obsessive xx

what a nice thing to have in common eh?


----------



## Scarlette (Nov 27, 2008)

Who watched the Hollyoaks last night? I have been told I am a dreadful person and bunnyboiler because I was saying Tony should be punished if he slept with that girl. She DID look 15, and he is an arse and did take advantage of her. Bunnyboiler thing could also have something to do with me shouting 'YAY!! KILL HIM KILL HIM!!' at the screen.


----------



## baldrick (Nov 27, 2008)

god yeah she looked so young 

mind you i do wonder if she made it up that he slept with her - tony must have been really *really* fucking drunk and incapable not to notice that she was 15  and she wasn't keen on them calling the police...


----------



## Scarlette (Nov 27, 2008)

Me too actually, especially as she then said he knew she was 15. But in the early stages, why would she have been lying when she was just saying that she had had sex and her boyfriend was now ignoring her? But still, either way,  at Tony. He should have been at that nice Jackie's house having tea. 

I sometimes wish I was a McQueen. Like, you mess with me, you mess with all of us. I might call my sister and see if she is up for it.


----------



## Lost Zoot (Nov 27, 2008)

jackie is *so* putting him on the list


----------



## themonkeyman (Dec 1, 2008)

Did anyone see tonights episode with Warren going mental, I thought, for a change that was some seriously good acting


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Dec 1, 2008)

Does anyone remember when Alvin Stardust ran the pub? They changed that first cast pretty damn quick.


----------



## Jambooboo (Dec 1, 2008)

Did Zoe and Sarah get it on? I missed last weeks.


----------



## Hellsbells (Dec 2, 2008)

themonkeyman said:


> Did anyone see tonights episode with Warren going mental, I thought, for a change that was some seriously good acting



It was better than usual, but 'seriously good' is going a bit far 

Jambooboo - yeah, in Hollyoaks later, Sarah & Zoe ended up in bed together after getting really drunk. It was actually Sarah who made the first move, so it's really pissing me off that she's being so repulsed by it all now and blaming it all on Zoe, making her move out and that.


----------



## pigtails (Dec 2, 2008)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Does anyone remember when Alvin Stardust ran the pub? They changed that first cast pretty damn quick.



OMG I'd forgotten that!!!


----------



## zenie (Dec 2, 2008)

milly molly said:


> I sometimes wish I was a McQueen.


 
Me too...this one preferebaly 







We watched Later last night, the boyfriend said "oooh" when she did her naked oiled back thing on the credits.  I shouted at him   

Sarah really pissed me off on the later ones, she acted like a total dick. The goomer teacher was really weird too.....


----------



## Scarlette (Dec 2, 2008)

zenie said:


> Me too...this one preferebaly
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Who is Sarah?


----------



## Biddlybee (Dec 2, 2008)

The model.


----------



## themonkeyman (Dec 2, 2008)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Does anyone remember when Alvin Stardust ran the pub? They changed that first cast pretty damn quick.



Alvin Stardust is the dad of legendary DnB producer Adam F, bet you didn't know that lol


----------



## electrogirl (Jan 6, 2009)

Why is Sarah being such a nob?

And did anyone see it yesterday where she and that Archie bloke were doing weirdy dancing in the SU bar in the middle of the day?

I laughed so hard!

They looked off their mash.


----------



## subversplat (Jan 6, 2009)

Sarah is just surplus to anybody's requirements and she knows it.

Best just to do one with Archie and at least save herself some dignity.


----------



## moonsi til (Jan 8, 2009)

wow...felt like I hadn't watched it for a bit but i had as I saw the Warren/louise episodes. It's all about the sex atm.

I just shouted 'Nancy..oooh' when her and Chris snogged. I reckon Chris will have Ravi next but I don't think a threesome is on the cards.


----------



## electrogirl (Jan 22, 2009)

I'd just like to say, Hollyoaks play some really good music sometimes.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Jan 22, 2009)

Hollyoaks fact: over 50% of the cast are recruited from a sixth form right near me.


----------



## electrogirl (Jan 22, 2009)

Dillinger4 said:


> Hollyoaks fact: over 50% of the cast are recruited from a sixth form right near me.



There is no place for lies on the Hollyoaks thread Dillinger4.


----------



## electrogirl (Jan 22, 2009)

Todays E4 episode was one of the best EVA.

I recommend people watch it tomorrow if they missed it.


----------



## zoooo (Jan 22, 2009)

Give us a cluuuuuue?


----------



## pboi (Jan 22, 2009)

Hollyoaks fact : They all have aids


----------



## electrogirl (Jan 22, 2009)

zoooo said:


> Give us a cluuuuuue?



Oh I've made it sound really exciting.

It was more amazing in the caper way, let's just say it opens with a parody of Charlie's Angels starring the McQueen girls and continues thus.

It's a McQueen episode.

It's ace.


----------



## zoooo (Jan 22, 2009)

Oh coolies. I will watch.

I like the silly style over content episodes.


----------



## pigtails (Jan 22, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Oh I've made it sound really exciting.
> 
> It was more amazing in the caper way, let's just say it opens with a parody of Charlie's Angels starring the McQueen girls and continues thus.
> 
> ...




I'm defo watching it!


----------



## electrogirl (Jan 31, 2009)

God this wheelchair bint is well boring.


----------



## pigtails (Jan 31, 2009)

She's a pain in the arse!!
Loving Zak and Michaela though!


----------



## electrogirl (Jan 31, 2009)

pigtails said:


> She's a pain in the arse!!
> Loving Zak and Michaela though!



zak and michaela rock.

I love the McQueens so much.

I wanted to dance Mr Bigstuff holding a bottle of wine with them.


----------



## dodgepot (Feb 22, 2009)

that lauren's a right nogoodnik.


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 22, 2009)

dodgepot said:


> that lauren's a right nogoodnik.



Yeah, at first she was just a dick.

Now she's proper evil.


----------



## Tank Girl (Feb 22, 2009)

I hate lauren and anita. but I'm feeling a bit sorry for anita right now.


----------



## keithy (Feb 23, 2009)

I watched the omnibus yesterday and I was going OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! at lauren actually kicking the shit out of anita  It was a bit shocking to my wussy self.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 23, 2009)

Did anyone see the episode where Darren was bawling his eyes out and singing along to All By Myself. That was HILARIOUS! 
I love it that Hollyoaks really takes the piss out of itself now


----------



## keithy (Feb 23, 2009)

Yeah I fuckin LOVED that! The fact that justin were like "wtf is that?" and then it panned up to Darren being a big loser


----------



## kyser_soze (Feb 23, 2009)

So, has the copper-turned-crim done anything beyond nicking an incorrectly coloured beemer yet? I have visions of him turning into a Vic Macket style badass and shooting up the cast...


----------



## keithy (Feb 23, 2009)

I want him to accidentally rape Carmel in a dark alley, mistaking her for somebody else like,  then when he goes home and she's all ARGH he'll realise and be all "fook" and realise he's the worst criminal in the world


----------



## kyser_soze (Feb 23, 2009)

He does seem singlularly ill equipped to become a bent copper.


----------



## keithy (Feb 23, 2009)

he's shit at everything, and such a moody fucker. He seems to only show affection towards carmel in a kind of patronising "oh carmel, so dumb" kind of way. 

I'd kick him in the face given half a chance, I'll tell you that for one.


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 23, 2009)

Last night I was youtubing a song I wanted to listen to, and one of the videos that came up was a homemade one featuring clips of Jean Paul and Craig.

I watched it and it turned me on tbh.


----------



## pk (Feb 23, 2009)




----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 23, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Last night I was youtubing a song I wanted to listen to, and one of the videos that came up was a homemade one featuring clips of Jean Paul and Craig.
> 
> I watched it and it turned me on tbh.



 
I miss john paul and craig


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 23, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> I miss john paul and craig


Wll here it is if you want one for the wankbank.


----------



## kyser_soze (Feb 23, 2009)

Is there a YouTube of Garry Lucy's bumrape?


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 23, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> Is there a YouTube of Garry Lucy's bumrape?



nope already looked. it was a lowpoint in my life when I did that. Like walking in on myself.

i'm running a facebook support group if you need some support/someone to talk to about the bumrape.

Just search 'Luke' and 'Bumraped' and it should come up.


----------



## The Octagon (Feb 23, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> He does seem singlularly ill equipped to become a bent copper.



I reckon he's deep undercover to take down Warren.

You'll see.


----------



## pengaleng (Feb 24, 2009)

The sasha/warren crush is possibly the wrongest I have seen on Hollyoaks ever.


----------



## kyser_soze (Feb 24, 2009)

The Octagon said:


> I reckon he's deep undercover to take down Warren.
> 
> You'll see.



He looks like he's about to cry _all the time_.


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 24, 2009)

tribal_princess said:


> The sasha/warren crush is possibly the wrongest I have seen on Hollyoaks ever.



Sasha is well hot now.

The weirdest bit of the whole thing was when Sasha sent Warren a fake valentines card from Louise, as if that was meant make him fancy her.

WTF?

Also it annoyed me cos for a few moments I thought Louise was still alive and I got excited.


----------



## pengaleng (Feb 24, 2009)

she's hot now she's off the smack yeah, but the whole thing still makes my stomach churn.

I didn't see the fake valentines, been a bit busy even tho my telly records every single episode, bet he went properly mental in the head. Do we know if he actually killed Louise? I'm wondering if I missed an episode because we never saw anything....


----------



## keithy (Feb 25, 2009)

i missed the whle xmas thing and the run up, just remember sdeein an episode wher it klooked like lousie was plotting summet for the wedding. what went down electrogirl?


----------



## dodgepot (Feb 25, 2009)

i liked it in monday's episode when sarah said to steph to play some more modern music and steph said "what like, katy perry?" 

i've just spent ages trying to find two suitable pics to post up to show how they look quite similar. but i couldn't. so you'll have to use your imaginations instead.


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 25, 2009)

keithy said:


> i missed the whle xmas thing and the run up, just remember sdeein an episode wher it klooked like lousie was plotting summet for the wedding. what went down electrogirl?



Louise was planning to kill Warren but he found the gun and strangled her.


----------



## Hellsbells (Feb 25, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Louise was planning to kill Warren but he found the gun and strangled her.



Really? Did he actually kill her then? 

I remember when Louise first came to hollyoaks and she was the stuck up admin girl who worked at the uni....


----------



## moonsi til (Feb 25, 2009)

dodgepot said:


> i liked it in monday's episode when sarah said to steph to play some more modern music and steph said "what like, katy perry?"
> 
> i've just spent ages trying to find two suitable pics to post up to show how they look quite similar. but i couldn't. so you'll have to use your imaginations instead.



...and I think Katie sang about kissing a girl and Sarah snogged Zoe.


----------



## pigtails (Feb 25, 2009)

Calvin's a right cunt!
I recon it's a set up to try and catch him though.


----------



## moonsi til (Feb 25, 2009)

Aw I wish Theresa would gain some self esteem and confidence in herself.


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 25, 2009)

I find it slightly worrying that Ste (i love that they call him Ste) has been turned from threatening wifebeater to cheeky chappy waiter.


----------



## Jambooboo (Feb 25, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I find it slightly worrying that Ste (i love that they call him Ste) has been turned from threatening wifebeater to cheeky chappy waiter.



Dunno if anyone has said it on this thread before, but he looks like a rat.


----------



## moonsi til (Feb 25, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I find it slightly worrying that Ste (i love that they call him Ste) has been turned from threatening wifebeater to cheeky chappy waiter.



Not just a waiter he can suddenly cook. there was that episode with Dom spending hours trying to track down saffron and Ste cooked a meal for a food critic.


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 25, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> Really? Did he actually kill her then?
> 
> I remember when Louise first came to hollyoaks and she was the stuck up admin girl who worked at the uni....


Yeah I think they tried to make it ambiguous, but he sat there while she was lying there lifeless.





moonsi til said:


> Not just a waiter he can suddenly cook. there was that episode with Dom spending hours trying to track down saffron and Ste cooked a meal for a food critic.



Oh yeah I forgot that!

I just watched the e4 episode, I didn't know what the fuck was going on with Calvin, I think it's cos I find him so boring that I can't summon up any interest in his storylines.


----------



## moonsi til (Feb 25, 2009)

Calvin thought that he had killed Nigel (who he saw at the end of tonights episode). He did this as he was dealing to Sacha. This has caused him to spiral into being a bad boy with warren as he is now morally bankrupt. Warren is double crossing Calvin as he knows Nigel is still alive.

I missed those episodes but I have seen a few where Nig returns and blackmails Warren for more money in return for his silence for not being dead. Calvin also gave away £10,000 but I can't remember why or to who.


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 25, 2009)

moonsi til said:


> Calvin thought that he had killed Nigel (who he saw at the end of tonights episode). He did this as he was dealing to Sacha. This has caused him to spiral into being a bad boy with warren as he is now morally bankrupt. Warren is double crossing Calvin as he knows Nigel is still alive.
> 
> I missed those episodes but I have seen a few where Nig returns and blackmails Warren for more money in return for his silence for not being dead. Calvin also gave away £10,000 but I can't remember why or to who.



Oh right. It's all a bit confusing innit.

I saw one episode where Calvin went around some random couple's garage and started pressuring them for money and the woman was holding a baby and looking all feeble and Clavin had  moral dilemma written on his face.


----------



## Madusa (Feb 25, 2009)

lol 'Clavin'

But anyway, I remember the Louise and Warren storyline: she blatantly is going to come back to Hollyoaks and haunt Warren for a payoff or something. What was the coverup story? Does everyone think she's dead?


----------



## Madusa (Feb 25, 2009)

Oh...no didnt he say that she'd done a runner or somesuch? But what about her overbearing mother? Hasnt she been round asking questions about her daughter?


----------



## electrogirl (Feb 25, 2009)

I dunno she's actually quit, so I guess it depends on whether she gets any more work.  

Everyone in Hollyoaks thinks she jilted him.



The McQueens know about the Mandy thing but I don't know if the whole of the Oak do.

I'm going to call him Clavin from now on.


----------



## killer b (Feb 25, 2009)

i saw max & OB in the street this evening. they hang out together in real life just like on the telly!

WIN.


----------



## Madusa (Feb 25, 2009)

killer b said:


> i saw max & OB in the street this evening. they hang out together in real life just like on the telly!
> 
> WIN.



lol

like pj and duncan. And burt and ernie. They share beds too.


----------



## dodgepot (Apr 12, 2009)

an easter miracle. jesus in a potato


----------



## pigtails (Apr 12, 2009)

dodgepot said:


> an easter miracle. jesus in a potato



genius innit!


----------



## badco (Apr 12, 2009)

Madusa said:


> They share beds too.



....and bodily fluids


----------



## moonsi til (Apr 18, 2009)

WTF is going with Steve and his creepy new friends? I thought they were football hooligans? 

Also whilst Mercedes is so skint she always has the right outfits and props for her schemes...


----------



## pigtails (Apr 19, 2009)

I don't get where the Ste thing is going either
Some kind of cult??  Baby thieves?? Aliens??


----------



## pengaleng (Apr 19, 2009)

I dunno, but that girl is seriously creeping me out.


----------



## pigtails (Apr 19, 2009)

I don't trust em!


----------



## pengaleng (Apr 19, 2009)

I dont even know where the fuck they've come from or why the stupid barnses let em in their house, thats totally not normal.


----------



## pigtails (Apr 19, 2009)

tribal_princess said:


> I dont even know where the fuck they've come from or why the stupid barnses let em in their house, *thats totally not normal.*



unlike the rest of Hollyoaks?!?


----------



## Hellsbells (May 20, 2009)

sorry for being a total saddo hollyoaks fan, but has anyone heard who is returning to the show??!? 

And is anyone else totally bemused by the 'relationship' between Justin and Hannah. It just so wouldn't happen, considering the history between the two of them. 
AND - bloody Nancy and bloody Russ - don't even get me started on them. It's like Nancy has to constantly be sleeping with someone, no matter who it is.


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 20, 2009)

*l*** is returning this week


----------



## Hellsbells (May 20, 2009)

ruffneck23 said:


> *l*** is returning this week



I don't quite understand why, but still, should be entertaining


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 20, 2009)

well its a she but i couldnt work out the spoiler tags 

im just being thick this afternoon


----------



## Wonky (May 21, 2009)

I only used to watch Hollyoaks on Sunday morning cuz my friend was the sign language interpreter in the corner


----------



## zenie (May 21, 2009)

pigtails said:


> I don't get where the Ste thing is going either
> Some kind of cult?? Baby thieves?? Aliens??


 
What happened with them? They blatantly looked like baby abductors innit? 

Also....Claire left Eastenders so I guess she just needed a job?


----------



## dodgepot (May 21, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> It's like Nancy has to constantly be sleeping with someone, no matter who it is.



yes, it's terrible. they should do a week or two of late night hollyoaks especially to tackle this matter.


----------



## Tank Girl (May 21, 2009)

disgusting man.


----------



## fogbat (May 21, 2009)

No, he's right. For once.


----------



## zenie (May 21, 2009)

I like Nancy.


----------



## Tank Girl (May 21, 2009)

fogbat said:


> No, he's right. For once.


he wouldn't get to see it though, late night hollyoaks is always on way past his bedtime.


----------



## fogbat (May 21, 2009)

Tank Girl said:


> he wouldn't get to see it though, late night hollyoaks is always on way past his bedtime.


----------



## tar1984 (May 27, 2009)

Last night was good.  I need to watch it tonight to find out who fucked warren up.  My first thought was that it was justin, but maybe calvin.  It'll be someone totally unexpected though i bet.


----------



## Hellsbells (May 27, 2009)

I'm well annoyed. For some unknown reason TV on demand has stopped recording Hollyoaks, so i've not been able to catch up on episodes since last week. 
Can anyone pleeeeease update me before i go mad.....?


----------



## sned (May 27, 2009)

My money's on Spencer


----------



## tar1984 (May 27, 2009)

sned said:


> My money's on Spencer



Aaahhhh, i never thought of that.  It could even be carmel.  Or darren.  Although those two seem less likely.


----------



## tar1984 (May 27, 2009)

Hellsbells said:


> I'm well annoyed. For some unknown reason TV on demand has stopped recording Hollyoaks, so i've not been able to catch up on episodes since last week.
> Can anyone pleeeeease update me before i go mad.....?



Everyone knows that warren killed louise now.  He is losing the plot big style.  Then last night he was in the loft and when he turned round to pour himself a drink behind the bar someone belted him from behind with a baseball bat (it was his own baseball bat for protection but he put it down on the bar, the fool).  Then it cut to warren all tied up and blindfolded but you dont see who hit him.


----------



## kyser_soze (May 27, 2009)

So are there actually any fit women in Hollyoaks these days? Last time I looked it was all tanorexic footballer fodder


----------



## skyscraper101 (May 27, 2009)

I haven't liked anyone near as much as when Natasha Anderson was in it when it started.


----------



## tar1984 (May 27, 2009)

Its been a bit downhill since louise got murked, imo.


----------



## sned (May 27, 2009)

tar1984 said:


> Aaahhhh, i never thought of that.  It could even be carmel.  Or darren.  Although those two seem less likely.



Yeah I mean what made me think Spence was mainly just due to the fact that he was unwilling to leave Warren and Sasha alone the other day.. and plus I reckon he's surprisingly solid!


----------



## tar1984 (May 27, 2009)

Yeah he stood up to warren and took that punch pretty well.  Im not sure though, i could imagine him hitting warren but not tying him up and blindfolding him.


----------



## moonsi til (May 27, 2009)

i reckon louise is not dead and she has come back for revenge.


----------



## tar1984 (May 27, 2009)

moonsi til said:


> i reckon louise is not dead and she has come back for revenge.



Nah she's dead as she'll ever be.


----------



## Hellsbells (May 27, 2009)

well isn't it going to be c....., since she's meant to be returning to the show for a few eps


----------



## tar1984 (May 27, 2009)

^^^who?

e2a: claire, yeah?


----------



## Hellsbells (May 27, 2009)

tar1984 said:


> ^^^who?
> 
> e2a: claire, yeah?



er - yeah. I was trying not to give spoilers away, but evil psycho Claire yes


----------



## fogbat (May 27, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> So are there actually any fit women in Hollyoaks these days? Last time I looked it was all tanorexic footballer fodder



Nancy.


----------



## innit (May 27, 2009)

fogbat said:


> Nancy.



A young Pat Butcher in the making.


----------



## tar1984 (May 28, 2009)

I missed it last night.  Must watch the repeat today on c4.


----------



## kyser_soze (May 28, 2009)

Who's the posh one who was about to run away with the accomplice of the murderer? She was pretty hot, in a Cheshire horsey kinda way.


----------



## dodgepot (May 28, 2009)

fogbat said:


> Nancy.



and jackie


----------



## fogbat (May 28, 2009)

dodgepot said:


> and jackie



Oh, is there a character called Nancy?

I was just calling Kyser names.


----------



## kyser_soze (May 28, 2009)

You called me nancy?

Heemafobe. I'm reporting you to the monothought clique


----------



## tar1984 (May 29, 2009)

Ah it was claire.  It's been so long since she was on the show I can't even remember what happened to make her so angry at warren in the first place.


----------



## revol68 (May 29, 2009)

Louise's Ma is the hottest MILF ever!

Like just fucking woah!


----------



## sned (Jun 5, 2009)

Anyone know what the song at the beginning of tonight's episode was? (Friday C4).. recognise it from somewhere


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 5, 2009)

You can find all the songs on the Hollyoaks website.


----------



## sned (Jun 5, 2009)

Sweet, cheers


----------



## sned (Jun 5, 2009)

Open heart zoo - martin grech. thats the bugger!


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Loving Ste as a goth. I genuinely love Ste, the cutey wifebeater. 

I think Hannah should probably die now.

Oh god, Justin is hiding in some bushes. I think he thinks having his hood up makes him an invisible fugitive. Stealth.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Ste is gay in real life you know.


----------



## fogbat (Jun 7, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> Ste is gay in real life you know.



I've not watched Hollyoaks in a while.

Ste = ratboy, right?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Yeah ratboy.

Justin's starting to look hot again.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Hannah's face has bi-polar.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Hahaha Hannah just strutted down the road 'working' her hospital gown with a big oversize fashion bag like she was walking down the catwalk.

Seriously though, when did she start acting like she was posessed by a demon?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

I should start a Hollyoaks twitterpage.


----------



## dodgepot (Jun 7, 2009)

will justin get in trouble with the plod for doing a runner still, even though they know it was claire that merked warren?

will russ bring max back?

will jackie forgive carmel?

will calvin ever do right by carmel?

will we see a close-up of jackie's fringed boots?

will rhys just die, please?


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

Calvin and Carmel should just GIVE IT UP. He is the most boring person I have ever seen anyway, I actually sometimes think I may have died when I start talking because my brain shuts down through utter boredeom. I still don't even understand his part of the whole story because I find it impossible to pay attention to what is going on.

And basically, they have been breaking up more than they have ever been together, it's a joke.

I can't believe Justin left Hannah behind, well I can, because if someone kept looking at me like she did, like she wanted to love him for ever and ever and ever and ever until they DIED then I'd run off and leave her too.

But I really can't look at her face anymore.


----------



## dodgepot (Jun 7, 2009)

electrogirl said:


> I actually sometimes think I may have died when I start talking because my brain shuts down through utter boredeom.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

worst. typo. ever.


----------



## dodgepot (Jun 7, 2009)

yeah, not a good one, is it?

anyway - i liked ste's decoy, pretending to be justin. him walking through the police like that and getting grabbed _straight away_ would have got them off of justin's back for enough time for him to flee to brazil and get a sex change, if that's what his plan was, for example.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 7, 2009)

'freudian slip lol' 

Yeah that was foolproof. I like to think Justin and Russ are going to run away and raise Max together. Not in a gay way, just in a cute handsome commune way.

There was some interesting lighting going on in today's film aswell.


----------



## tar1984 (Jun 10, 2009)

Who are these people that are hanging around ste?  What are they up to?  

I know they are some kind of childrens charity or something, but why are they trying to make ste mess up, spiking his coffee with lots of caffiene powder so he can't sleep and stuff?  wtf is going on?


----------



## ruffneck23 (Jun 10, 2009)

sounds like a cult to me


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 10, 2009)

Ah the strange folk. At first I thought they were football hooligans but it seems that they sell babies. Looks like they want to wire Steve out so he feels he can't cope and signs away his baby. Only a twist in the tale is that Abbey wants the baby for herself.


----------



## tar1984 (Jun 10, 2009)

They _sell_ babies? 

One of them is hiding some dark secret as well.  Thats why the main guy is able to tell him what to do.  Is he a convicted peado or something?


----------



## moonsi til (Jun 10, 2009)

I think they sell babies...anyway shouldn't you be busy cheering folk up with kitten pictures? The afterwork crew will need cheering..


----------



## Biddlybee (Jun 10, 2009)

I reckon he might be. The bit about selling babies was fucking stupid though, should've left it at them wanting it to replace their dead baby.


----------



## tar1984 (Jun 10, 2009)

moonsi til said:


> I think they sell babies...anyway shouldn't you be busy cheering folk up with kitten pictures? The afterwork crew will need cheering..



I don't think anyone was really intersted.


----------



## tar1984 (Jun 10, 2009)

BiddlyBee said:


> I reckon he might be. The bit about selling babies was fucking stupid though, should've left it at them wanting it to replace their dead baby.



see thats what i thought was going on.  their baby died so they want to scam someone elses off them.

I reckon abby will come clean to ste anyway cos she wants to keep seeing the baby.


----------



## Biddlybee (Jun 10, 2009)

They'll probably end up together!


----------



## tar1984 (Jun 10, 2009)

Yeah, fo shizzle.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 12, 2009)

awwwwwwwww I just watched the e4+1 one, I won't say anything but awwwwwwwwwwwwwww


----------



## sned (Jun 14, 2009)

Ahahaha just saw John-Paul on the trailer for Emmerdale! His career's gone downhill already.


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 14, 2009)

oh no


----------



## electrogirl (Jun 14, 2009)

I totally love Sarah's girlfriend. 

I also fancy Barnsey more and more each day though.

Hollyoaks sexually confuses me.


----------



## sned (Jun 14, 2009)

Yeah, i've got a lot of time for Barnsey. Not so sure about t'other one though... whassername?! I guess she's better than the Nancy-clone who hit on Sarah last week in the SUBar. 

Gawd, i promised myself i'd never get into Hollyoaks, now listen (read) to me!


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## moonsi til (Jun 17, 2009)

Josh is such a massive bellend. I want to mush my hand all over his face every time I see him and that stupid scarf...


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## tar1984 (Jul 14, 2009)

Ah, so that guy shook his baby then...i thought he was gonna be a peado.


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## pigtails (Jul 14, 2009)

tar1984 said:


> Ah, so that guy shook his baby then...i thought he was gonna be a peado.



I thought that might be the issue when he first came into it, I think he's gonna save the day!


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## tar1984 (Jul 14, 2009)

pigtails said:


> I thought that might be the issue when he first came into it, I think he's gonna save the day!



Yeah it's kind of set up for that.  He needs to expose the evil guy as being, well, evil.  the dude who keeps spiking ste with caffeine so he fucks things up.
I still dont know what his motives are though.


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## Looby (Jul 14, 2009)

I'm confused. Which is the one going out with the blonde one that was drugging Ste? And why is he drugging Ste, are they going to steal the baby?


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## pigtails (Jul 14, 2009)

tar1984 said:


> Yeah it's kind of set up for that.  He needs to expose the evil guy as being, well, evil.  the dude who keeps spiking ste with caffeine so he fucks things up.
> I still dont know what his motives are though.



He fucks them up so they can't look after their kids then steps in to 'save' them then sells the kids I think.


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## Looby (Jul 14, 2009)

So is that the non shaky baby one?


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## tar1984 (Jul 14, 2009)

sparklefish said:


> So is that the non shaky baby one?



the non shaky baby one is the guy running the thing.  he had power over shaky baby guy cos he knew his secret.  i dont know how he'll have power now though, having exposed the secret.


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## pigtails (Jul 14, 2009)

sparklefish said:


> So is that the non shaky baby one?



Yeah the none shakey baby one is the baddie - Natty (shakey baby man) has been conned by him but Natty is starting work out what's going on.


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## tar1984 (Jul 14, 2009)

pigtails said:


> He fucks them up so they can't look after their kids then steps in to 'save' them then sells the kids I think.



I suspected something like that.  He either sells the baby or keeps it for himself.  selling it seems afwul far-fetched though, although it *is* hollyoaks.


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## pigtails (Jul 14, 2009)

tar1984 said:


> the non shaky baby one is the guy running the thing.  he had power over shaky baby guy cos he knew his secret.  i dont know how he'll have power now though, having exposed the secret.



But he's compromised his integrity so no one will believe him, the child abusing bastard!


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## Looby (Jul 14, 2009)

Brilliant, thanks all.


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## pigtails (Jul 14, 2009)

tar1984 said:


> I suspected something like that.  He either sells the baby or keeps it for himself.  selling it seems afwul far-fetched though, although it *is* hollyoaks.



No he doesn't keep them cause his girlfriend wants to keep lucus and he won't let her!


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## tar1984 (Jul 14, 2009)

Right enough.  He does seem like an evil bastard.  

lol @ calling him "shakey baby man"


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## keithy (Sep 7, 2009)

Right, i need a rundown of wtf has been going on in Hollyoaks for the past like... 6 months... 

Why are hannah and Darren married?
What's the beef between Jaqui and Carmel?
Why is baby Max missing?
Why the fuck is Tony stupid enough to get with Cindy?
Where is Dom?
What happened with Darren's dad and Franky and that?

I'm watching the episode where Carmel launches her salon all pink and stuffs.


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## keithy (Sep 7, 2009)

oh and why is louise dead i thought she wer getting married to Warren? 

wtf is going on?!?! 

and why does Carmel own Evissa now?


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## Tank Girl (Sep 7, 2009)

jacqui and carmel fell out, because carmel let russ see baby max and didn't stop him running away with him.

don't know about the rest - I tried to watch the omnibus yesterday morning, but I had to go to bed to sleep


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## Hellsbells (Sep 7, 2009)

keithy said:


> Right, i need a rundown of wtf has been going on in Hollyoaks for the past like... 6 months...
> 
> Why are hannah and Darren married?
> What's the beef between Jaqui and Carmel?
> ...



ok, so...
1. Hannah and Darren got married whilst on a drunken weekend away with some rock band. Now Hannah seems to be slightly obsessed with Darren, whilst he is still in love with Cindy so is not really interested. 
2. As someone else said, Carmel helped Russ run off with baby Max and Jacqui can't forgive her for it
3. Baby Max is missing because Russ ran off with him to get away from Jacqui, who was refusing to let him have access. Despite the fact that he's the father, and she's only the auntie. 
4. Erm - Tony just IS stupid. And he's generally attracted to fesity, bitchy type girls - Cindy's not really that different to Jacqui is she. 
5. Dom's around. Lurking in the background normally. The less of him, the better imo. 
6. Darrens dad & Franky - don't really know.


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## feyr (Sep 7, 2009)

i'm looking foward to the hollyoaks later when lydia loses it and murders either sarah or zoe 

hopefully sarah, she is just irritating


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## dodgepot (Sep 7, 2009)

i'd prefer sarah to stay over zoe. zoe is a really shit character.

not that i actually watch it much at the moment


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## Me76 (Sep 7, 2009)

I just want to punch Sarah in the face.  Lots.


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## feyr (Sep 9, 2009)

i think they both leave, just one will be killed off, the other will just leave in grief or something

which is why i think it will be sarah. sarah dies in the late night special, amy her sister comes back for funeral in the main show. zoe will then leave because she has nothing left to stay for/ guilt at sarah's death

if its zoe that dies, then it has more of an impact for Archie , her brother who is unfortuantly seeming to be staying in the show. and sarah is less likely to leave her family for a new start 

god its sad that i've actualy thought about this


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## Me76 (Sep 9, 2009)

I never watchthe 'Laters' so I always end up feeling slightly lost for a little while afterwards.  Like last time when Sarah 'suddenly' became a lesbian. 

Some one keep me updated please.


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## pengaleng (Oct 4, 2009)

sarah is dead, zoe is locked up for murder, that minger lydia cut zoe's parachute up and then they got heaped on the floor so got mixed up, then after she slit her wrists, dunno if lydia is dead yet. Barnsey is distraught  (((Barnsey)))


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## revol68 (Oct 4, 2009)

tribal_princess said:


> sarah is dead, zoe is locked up for murder, *that minger lydia* cut zoe's parachute up and then they got heaped on the floor so got mixed up, then after she slit her wrists, dunno if lydia is dead yet. Barnsey is distraught  (((Barnsey)))



I thinks she's really cute, part from the violent mental issues and shit.


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## Me76 (Oct 4, 2009)

tribal_princess said:


> sarah is dead, zoe is locked up for murder, that minger lydia cut zoe's parachute up and then they got heaped on the floor so got mixed up, then after she slit her wrists, dunno if lydia is dead yet. Barnsey is distraught  (((Barnsey)))



Blooming Nora - didn't miss much then 

Glad Sarah has gone though, she had far too high opinion of herself.


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## pengaleng (Oct 4, 2009)

revol68 said:


> I thinks she's really cute, part from the violent mental issues and shit.



mouth like a cats arsehole.


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## pengaleng (Oct 6, 2009)

oh jesus they are letting skanky jake with his sickening lip scar and stupid face out of the nuthouse....


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## revol68 (Oct 6, 2009)

tribal_princess said:


> oh jesus they are letting skanky jake with his sickening lip scar and stupid face out of the nuthouse....



No the worse thing about him is that he has no sideburns at all.


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## moonsi til (Nov 24, 2009)

What's going on with Frankie Deans boobies? They keep making special guest appearances all of a sudden?


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