# Being bullied at work by my boss



## equationgirl (Feb 22, 2011)

I changed jobs nearly 18 months ago. The team I work for has a high turnover rate (3 people left in the last 12 month, team is now 4 people as two others transferred out at the end of last year), all down to my boss.

She saw my serious illness last year as a personal slight and insisted on several meetings with HR to 'manage my absences' despite having reports from the hospital, my GP and company occupational health. This went on for 8 months whilst I recovered, and she insisted on keeping me on probation for a year. She would have kept me on probation for longer had HR not pointed out that it wasn't possible.

She backed off for a while after that but over the past few weeks she's been singling me out again. The tasks she gives me are never explained properly, and she likes to drip feed the information needed to complete work so that the first attempt is invariably wrong and she then belittles me for not doing it right. She also demands things randomly throughout the day, so task started first thing are rarely completed. The team's workload has increased by over 50%, yet any time a concern is raised about our ability to complete the tasks we are painted as lazy slackers who need to work harder.

I claimed overtime last week (she agreed to it prior to overtime being carried out and signed off my claim) in accordance with company regulations and she implied I was making a false claim. Never mind the uppaid overtime that wasn't claimed that gets done, which was for way more than the claim.

I have had to redo three large pieces of work which, although carried out in accordance with her instructions, she decided it wasn't what she wanted and when I tried to argue she got angry and said I had to do how she wanted it (even though it made that piece of work into a huge mess).

Today, she asked for a meeting about delivery and targets with a couple of hours notice. She then spent 90 minutes telling me how terrible I was at my job, how I wasn't performing, how I miss deadlines and don't deliver and why my appraisal score was so low. I was so angry I burst into tears. However, when she produced (with a flourish, it has to be said) a task list I submitted to her 6 months ago (which she decided was irrelevant as urgent work came in from the CEO and she told me to bin it and forget about it) and asked me to update her about all the actions on it, they were all delivered or wrapped into existing work. She gave no examples as to when I'd missed deadlines, other than to say I needed reminding sometimes.

I can't be completely shit at my job as the head of another group told me he's very impressed with the work I'm doing!! Wtf??!!

I try to ignore her but it's really hard as she's so nasty all the time. I'd love to go to HR or her boss but she's been at the company for over 20 years and no-one seems willing to tackle the problems she creates. I'm in a union and even the union rep says it's part of the endemic culture within the organisation. I keep a diary of any events where she's a bully to me.

So, I guess what I'm looking for is ways to stop her getting to me and really any advice to stop from going insane.

Thanks lovely urbs


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## oryx (Feb 22, 2011)

equationgirl said:


> I'd love to go to HR or her boss but she's been at the company for over 20 years and no-one seems willing to tackle the problems she creates.



What a horrible situation (and boss). We had a bitch like this running our department until a couple of years ago and thankfully she left during a restructure. I came in just at the end if her time there. 

I don't think the fact that she's been there 20+ years etc. should stop you going to HR. Does your organisation have an anti-bulling policy?

It also sounds like she is threatened by you.


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## Upchuck (Feb 23, 2011)

Mate unless you have worked in fashion you don't know what bullying is!!


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## grit (Feb 23, 2011)

There really only seems to be 3 options:

1. Go to HR and make a formal complaint (keeping a diary is a excellent first step)

2. Find a new job

3. put up with it (i dont really consider this an option but it technically is)

I know what you are saying about the 20 year thing. I've been in a reasonably similar situation where one employees behaviour was inexcusable but she was such a cunt no one ever did anything about it. Sorry to say in my personal experience in those types of situations all you can do is leave/move dept.


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## Fingers (Feb 23, 2011)

When this happened to me three years ago, I decided I had to leave, I left in style and bought him down with me big style. In fact I bought the project office down as all the temps that were working for me resigned on the same day as well.

Is there anyone else in the office who is aware of this/witness to it?


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## Badgers (Feb 23, 2011)

Fingers said:


> When this happened to me three years ago, I decided I had to leave, I left in style and bought him down with me big style. In fact I bought the project office down as all the temps that were working for me resigned on the same day as well.
> 
> Is there anyone else in the office who is aware of this/witness to it?



Wicked office departure 

I did that once when dumped in a big department managed by a well educated idiot with no people skills. I remember my exit interview fondly and his demise 

To the OP situation it is pretty tough. Twenty years service is a long time and your choices are (as said) to go official with HR, look elsewhere or try to put up with it. In the short term cover your arse as much as you can. If you are given a clear plan to work to and deliver said work but get told it is wrong then produce the plan. Keep a diary of problems in case of a big shit storm


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## lolo (Feb 23, 2011)

grit said:


> There really only seems to be 3 options:
> 
> 1. Go to HR and make a formal complaint (keeping a diary is a excellent first step)
> 
> ...


 
this ^^^^^ is true in my experience also I'm afraid


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## equationgirl (Feb 23, 2011)

I'm sure you meant this as a joke, but it just wasn't funny. You're not in my position so it would be good if you could either be helpful or go away. Thanks


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## Streathamite (Feb 23, 2011)

OK.This is what you should do.
1.Get her to make ALL her unreasonable requests in writing-she'll incriminate herself eventually
2.Force your Union rep to grow a pair and take action
3.Consult a solicitor
4.Once you know what legal recourse you have,inform HR(and,preferably the MD)of the likelihood of legal action,unless they do what's necessary to remedy the situation by disciplinary means.
NO organisation wants the former


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## Spark (Feb 23, 2011)

Streathamite said:


> OK.This is what you should do.
> 1.Get her to make ALL her unreasonable requests in writing-she'll incriminate herself eventually
> 2.Force your Union rep to grow a pair and take action
> 3.Consult a solicitor
> ...



Sorry to be blunt, but 3 and 4 are pointless.  At present this isn't really a legal matter.  There is no claim that can be pursued based on complaints of bullying.  A claim would only arise (potentially) if someone were to resign and try to pursue a claim for constructive dismissal.  This is generally a very bad idea because constructive dismissal claims are very hard to succeed with.  If equationgirl is in a union they will tell her this already.  The only potential legal issue may be disability discriimination because of equationgirl's illness, but based on the OP the current issues don't seem unrelated.

My advice is to first figure out what you want to acheive.  As other have said the options are really just work out ways to deal with it, leave or pursue the matter formally, eg. raise a grievance.  

If you choose the third option I would suggest focussing on practical issues such as what your manager is doing that is a problem (as set out in the OP) rather than start by alleging this is bullying.  The problem with complaints of the sort you have described is that it is very easy for an employer to just argue that your manager is entilted to manage an employee's performance.  HR can then just say that there's no evidence to support allegations that the way in which this has been done is out of order or they can conclude that the employee is being oversensitive.  If you focus on demonstrating how the management is not up to standard and is preventing you from doing your job properly on a practical level you are more likely to tap into HR's concerns.  You can then raise how it makes you feel as a secondary issue - ie. it is obvious that when subjected to such poor management you will feel demoralised. 

Sorry if this seems a bit wussy, it's just in my experience complaints of workplace bullying don't tend to get far.  Partly this is because the phrase is used to cover such  wide range of complaints, inccluding (and I am not suggesting this at all about the OP) complaints by people who are being very oversensitive, complaining about trivial matters or being unrealistic in their expectations.  Also there is a level of subjectivity - what one person sees as unacceptable another will see as robust management.  If you present yourself as a reasonable person who just wants to get on and do their job as well as they can but can't because of very specrific examples of poor management you'll present HR (or whoever deals with the situation) a situation in which they can more easily identify any problems and maybe potential solutions.


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## sorearm (Feb 23, 2011)

god what a shit situation, sorry to hear about it EG... pretty much same advice I suppose. Keep a diary, get proof if you can (requests for work/decisions etc in writing) so you start to build an evidence trail. Have a witness handy. Invest in a portable digital voice recorder (good Olympus models cost about £40 from argos, hold about 4hrs) to record any personal incidents of bullying etc...


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## equationgirl (Feb 23, 2011)

The whole team, ans several people outside it, are aware of the problems she causes. She makes sure there are never any witnesses though.


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## sorearm (Feb 23, 2011)

equationgirl said:


> The whole team, ans several people outside it, are aware of the problems she causes. She makes sure there are never any witnesses though.



Other people being aware and actually doing something about it are different matters (I found this out in the university sector when my boss was a fucking sociopath, everyone knew but did fuck all about it when I went to make a formal complaint).

... think you should get proof, written evidence trail - also, invest in a digital voice recorder to cover yourself so you have audio evidence of anything ...


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## StoneRoad (Feb 23, 2011)

Hi, Ive been in a similar situation in the past, EG.

As already mentioned, keep a diary. log all work requests and alterations to same - with exact times! and I agree, pocket tapeing if no witnesses!  Seems strange that your HR dept havn't picked up on the high staff turnover - especially with the 'management of absence' that took place in your case......that might be a convenient place to start a counter action?

When You've been given a verbal work request, go and write it down, take it back and get it signed an accurate record of what is wanted. Doing that soon stopped the problem with the boss i had, as he couldn't remember what he had asked for - very convenient as a way of protecting yourself against accusations of not doing what was wanted.......


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## grit (Feb 24, 2011)

equationgirl said:


> I'm sure you meant this as a joke, but it just wasn't funny. You're not in my position so it would be good if you could either be helpful or go away. Thanks


 
mean what as a joke?


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## FridgeMagnet (Feb 24, 2011)

grit said:


> mean what as a joke?


 
I think she was referring to Upchuck.


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## equationgirl (Feb 24, 2011)

I was. I thought it was a flippant, dismissive comment that wasn't helpful. There's been a lot of useful stuff posted on here that has made me feel less crap about the whole thing. Depp down I know its not me but here's talk of redundancies at work (again) and I need money to pay the bills and the mortgage and eat.


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## FridgeMagnet (Feb 24, 2011)

The problem with this sort of situation, and I've been there, is that lots of the stuff that is technically possible just really isn't practically possible.

The most important issue is whether this person has enemies higher up, and whether you can access them. The union might know. They may not say "yeah, everybody hates X and they're looking for an opportunity" but they may give you hints, or you can ask around informally - you may be able to get some feedback if everyone else hates her.

If there are people higher up who may use the opportunity of a formal complaint to kick her (your boss) out or move her around then it could be worth doing that, going through the official HR route. This does happen - often people who are horrible bullies are hated by their peers and suspected by their superiors and are bullying to try to keep their failures hidden. But if not, it's a waste of time to complain, and sometimes actively counter-productive. HR's instinctive reaction will be to hide things and ignore and even punish you.

If there are people in a position of influence who are sympathetic but aren't in a position to actively do anything about the conditions of your job, it's worth approaching them and being honest about your frustrations - they may be able to help you move. Certainly if other people are saying you're doing a good job, if you can send the message to them that you want to shift, they'll likely be happy to have you, and they'll be able to handle the internal politics easier. You have to be pretty *sure* that they're sympathetic though or it could rebound.


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## silverfish (Feb 24, 2011)

Document all shit arse requests, I do this by a quick email ref telecon or ref conversation.

Dear arsehole

Ref conversation (15:30) lack of critical emergency repsonse equipment. To close this issue i was actioned to.
1. Jump through hoops 
2. Juggle flaming chainsaws 
3. Suck my own penis

I'm looking at a conservative closing date for these tasks of 31 Feb 2011. Is this an acceptable time frame for the tasks or are you willing to put down in email the fact that I would have to bend the timespace continuum to achieve just one of these tasks and that would only be after having ribs removed and 5 years of tantric yoga

Love and kisses
Silverfish

Obviously not exactly like that but....YSWIM

I do it th a light and airy, almost friendly email, they soon see the error of their ways

Just remember bad managers are shit houses because they are aware  of their shitness and their own limitations....

My only other technques for dealing are... Make them look so fucking good you become their saviour, or kill them professionally and/or brutally with a knife. 

Stalk them like a panther, document everything and when they fuck it big style or loose it with you big style let them have it, its you or them, referee is the HR department with a 30 stone unfair dismissal gorrilla sitting at HRs shoulder

What ever happens keep in mind you are ninja at your job and there is never a reason to stay working for a twat that physically make you sick with stress anxiety and bullying. go somewhere you are appreciated, life is too short


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## silverfish (Feb 24, 2011)

NB none of this works in large Italian corporations Just leave


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## grit (Feb 24, 2011)

silverfish said:


> Document all shit arse requests, I do this by a quick email ref telecon or ref conversation.
> 
> Dear arsehole
> 
> ...


 
Excellent advice.


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## bluestreak (Feb 24, 2011)

silverfish said:


> Document all shit arse requests, I do this by a quick email ref telecon or ref conversation.
> 
> Dear arsehole
> 
> ...


 
aye, i've done this.  though in the end i got sacked for suffering from depression.  not that's how they put it, but it was the same thing in the end.


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## silverfish (Feb 24, 2011)

The idea is not to cease productivity and concentrate on the "Fuck the boss project" but to collate shit and keep your powder dry, while outwardly appearing hardworking and "onside"

Once you have identified yourself as the "Problem child" unless you have union/management backing you're on your way out...

BUT WORK SHOULDN'T REGULARLY MAKE YOU CRY.......unles you are a high risk child protection social worker IYSWIM


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## sorearm (Feb 24, 2011)

grit said:


> Excellent advice.


 
+1


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## Streathamite (Feb 25, 2011)

silverfish said:


> Document all shit arse requests, I do this by a quick email ref telecon or ref conversation.
> 
> Dear arsehole
> 
> ...


good advice


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## girasol (Feb 25, 2011)

People deal with this differently, but if it was me I'd start challenging her in front of everyone, this way there'd be witnesses.  For example, ask her to explain things to you clearly, as you feel there's not enough information to do the task she's asking to you to do.

Not saying it's the right thing to do, just saying that's what I would do.  Attack is the best defense?  Last time I felt I was in an impossible situation I took time off with stress in the end, and contacted HR to explain the situation, in fact I wrote to them explaining everything in detail.  Neither of us left, but we don't work together anymore.


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## Fruitloop (Feb 25, 2011)

Email is totally your friend, good advice above.

For the Underdetermined Task Problem , it's easy to send one that says 'Just wanted to clarify a couple of points: '. Make sure to copy at least one other person in if you reasonably can.


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## equationgirl (Feb 26, 2011)

Thanks to everyone for the excellent advice given. I've spoken to my union chap and he was very supportive. We are going to talk through thing more when he returns from an overseas job next week. I am alos going to speak to HR as I have now been through my appraisal report that she had to submit. Not only has she managed to contradict herself at certain points, but she has also mentioned my absence through illness last year. HR have already told me that she is not supposed to do this as absence is dealt with under a separate procedure. My boss was warned against mixing the two last year when she employed similar tactics with a former colleague. 

A highlight of the week has been hearing that a senior manager told her not to be so fucking stupid (literally) when she started moaning about something


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## sorearm (Feb 27, 2011)

good stuff EG, fingers crossed for you!


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## free spirit (Feb 27, 2011)

equationgirl said:


> The whole team, ans several people outside it, are aware of the problems she causes. She makes sure there are never any witnesses though.


write an email to her requesting that all future work requests are made in written form so that you can both be entirely clear from the start exactly what your work brief is for each job including any amends that are needed.

firstly this may actually help her to clarify what it is she wants you to do, secondly it will cover your back if she ever tries to pass the buck to you, and thirdly it should mean that she knows you've covered your back and she'll therefore have to lay off you or risk being made to look an incompetent fool.

download all communications from her, and all your work in response to her requests to a memory stick that you take home with you so that you always have access to the evidence (unless there are confidentiality issues that could mean this was a breach of contract etc).


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## miniGMgoit (Feb 28, 2011)

Brilliant advice on this thread. I look forward to following what happens. Good luck


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## sheothebudworths (Feb 28, 2011)

Yeah GL eg - she sounds like a fucking bitch and I hope you get some resolution and sooner rather than later. 
The more recent discussion with your union rep sounds much more positive and the fact that she is already viewed negatively by HR is nowt but good, too. 
And IF none of that is enough, there's defo some great advice in this thread that you can still use. 
Hold tight!


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## Corax (Feb 28, 2011)

Some great advice on this thread.

The principle of one bit is worth repeating I think - to keep working hard, delivering as well as you can, and pretend that all's right with the world and that you have no problem with the boss.  At the same time, you document everything, and confirm any instructions you're given with a short, friendly email to cover your back.

If she's aware that you're fed up with her behaviour then she may make your life more of a misery, and also may become more cautious about providing you with evidence of it.  You want her guard to stay down whilst you stockpile ammunition.

Talking to HR is a good idea.  It's not like jumping off a cliff - you can talk to them in confidence before deciding whether to take things any further.
One thing to remember about HR departments though - they work for your employer, not the employees - so maintain a certain amount of caution.

Do you work in the public sector by any chance EG?  That kind of inept and bullying management 'style' sounds very NHS to me...


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## nagapie (Mar 22, 2011)

Sorry to hijack thread but have some similar problems. 

My department has a new head. She's turning out to be a nightmare and bullies everybody. One person has already complained but she's got quite a junior position and nothing was done. This new boss doesn't know what she's doing as she's taken on a role she's never done before. Instead of trying to learn it, she shouts orders at everyone and tries to give all her work to me as I'm the second in command. Whenever I try to help her explaining what needs to be done she acts as if it hasn't been done because I haven't done my job and gives me unrealistic deadlines to complete things that should be her responsibility. Recently I've just started saying no because I've got too much else to do and I can't manage. Yesterday I was trying to explain something that we really need to do as a priority and she made inferences that I was deliberately concealing important information from her. 

I went home with a headache that I woke up with this morning. I also couldn't be guaranteed that she just isn't telling her line manager that everything's shit because I don't do my job so I went to see him myself. I asked him not to say anything as it was confidential and I didn't feel that speaking to her was going to help but I did ask him to do an audit of what our department does, needs to do and who is doing what as I know I will come out as doing the lion's share and maybe he can start getting her to sort the things she should be doing. She used to be a consultant and seems to spend her time doing things that she did before rather than what her new role is. 

But now I'm worried he's just going to go tell her what I said and she'll make my life more miserable as up to now I've mostly been able to hide my feelings about her. I also feel very vulnerable as I work a 4 day week because I've got a one year old but am constantly being pressured to work 5 days so I'm always waiting for them to tell me all the problems will be solved if I did that extra day. I hope it's ok.


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## equationgirl (Apr 7, 2011)

Nagpie - start documenting everything as detailed within this thread. At least you'll have a body evidence/the 'bigger picture' for any furture actions. I hope things work out for you.

Since my last post, I have been working as hard as I can (without jeapordising my health) but as usual random work appears for completion at short notice, which of course throws all the planning into disarray. Also, she has swicthed her attentions to one of the more junior staff and seems to be using her as the latest punching bag. The junior staff member is also keeping a diary.

I was informed I am not getting any bonus payments this year. I had expected this anyway, so unsettled her by accepting this rather than arguing about it. She told me it was all HR's doing and she was sorry I wasn't getting anything, but that was just a pack of lies as the managers decide the bonuses for their teams! She is not reading any emails we send her, and is forcing her way into another team's business - we suspect that she is looking for another job with them. We've also had an office move recently so I now sit right outside her office. She purposely walks past my desk checking what I'm woking on - I feel like a child!

Overall, I am learning to detach from the experience more, and whilst the full-blown personality attacks are extremely hurtful and stressful, I believe that it is her that has the problem, not me.


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## Corax (Apr 7, 2011)

Sounds like you're dealing really well EQ.  



equationgirl said:


> Also, she has swicthed her attentions to one of the more junior staff and seems to be using her as the latest punching bag. The junior staff member is also keeping a diary.


 
That's not at all unusual IME.  My boss a couple of years ago was a classic for this, bullying me/my colleague until we were clearly at the end of our tether, and then switching to the other one.  In hindsight, I feel pity for someone so insecure as to feel the need to behave like that.

She's now running the cardiac department at a major London hospital.


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## nagapie (Apr 7, 2011)

equationgirl said:


> Nagpie - start documenting everything as detailed within this thread. At least you'll have a body evidence/the 'bigger picture' for any furture actions. I hope things work out for you.



Thanks. There's a chance she may be leaving as she's always on the verge of a nervous breakdown and she's removed a lot of her personal items from her office. My entire department are waiting with baited breath but she's probably too on the edge to make a proper decision like that. The other rumour is she's being promoted!


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## equationgirl (May 6, 2011)

The incompentent always seem to get promoted!!

The latest with me is that she's laid off me for a few eeks but I suspect that she'll rotate back to me when she returns from her holiday next week. Apparently she got very angry with another member of the team because she couldn't find information on our hard drive (even though I laid it out according to her precise instructions - which made no sense but when I tactfully tried to point this out she argued with me for 2 hours. I was on holiday last week so she couldn't bully me about it. However, she didn't both emailing me about it to let me know she had a problem, so I didn't know until today. I'm now reorganising folders, for the 5th time, for hours on end, and I'm totallly fed up.

Nobody in the team speaks to each other, I spent my whole day practically in silence, apart from a crappy meeting trying to convey to my cock of colleague why what he's suggesting for the folder structure will piss off the boss (which I do like to avoid where possible). I realised mid-way through the afternoon that I will go mad and commit acts of random violence if I don't get another job soon.

Plus, this cock of a colleague has started acting like he's my boss (we're the same grade, I'm more experienced but he has an MBA) and I just want to tell him to GTF. 

Work sucks but I try to be positive. I usually fail.

There was a brief bright spot when I found out that the boss is probably moving to another department - although what happens to us is anybody's guess.


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## marty21 (May 6, 2011)

I was in a similar position a few years ago, new boss parachuted in by evil senior boss, within 6 months the entire senior team had left (including me) my boss was suspended for strange reasons - we were told not to speak to him, but managed to meet him secretly, she claimed he had been creaming money - when in reality he had simply spent a lot of money moving people from a house that was to be sold (worth about a million) and did not benefit himself - she didn't understand finance. The previous boss who we all got on with had also been forced out by evil boss. Another manager was advised to resign - she refused and was frozen out by the new boss, pressure was put on her to leave, but she stuck to her guns and eventually got a big redundancy payout and a job with the previous (good) boss at another organisation. My boss eventually resigned as he couldn't take all the shit that was being thrown at him (he got another job thankfully).

My job role was changed drastically, and from being a deputy manager, I was given a more junior role (although on the same pay) I put in a grievance, which evil boss threw out at the hearing (which didn't surprise me), The new boss was bullying junior members of staff as well, particularly black members of staff (she was black) sickness levels shot up, various people resigned (i'd say 60% of the team eventually left. People sent emails to the chief executive explaining why they left , he had basically given evil boss a free reign in her dept)  

I eventually decided to leave, resigned without a job to go to, was put on gardening leave for 6 weeks until my notice ended - got a job soon after. 

Post script - new boss was let go (she was a temp) evil boss was ousted as well a year or so later. My theory was that evil boss who had come in after a merger/takeover had simply wanted her own team in charge and not the team from the original organisation. Had I hung on, I probably would have been in a more senior post now, I ran into the guy who took over my post - he has since been promoted to senior management - but I was impatient,and stressed by it all, and felt a whole lot better having left. I was lucky that in housing at the time, there were plenty of temp jobs and I am very experienced so I was soon grabbed by another organisation, so it's not the solution for everyone.


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## equationgirl (May 8, 2011)

Glad things worked out for you, Marty, and you got through the whole experience ok.

There are no jons going in my industry at the moment - I interviewed for a company in January but they didn't have any money to take me on. I am working contacts in other departments as the organisation is chnaging the way it manages intellectual property (my area), which would mean me moving elsewhere, to work with people who think my work is good and that I work hard. They are also really good to work with.

I spent two days last week working in near silence, rearranging folders on our hard drive as the boss 'couldn't find anything'. Never mind she has all the files in her email inbox, because she's too lazy to look for them, and that when I was setting up the directories, she took my perfect system and made it ridiculous. I worked in a library for four years, I know how documents and information should be arranged for retrieval.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed she does move to a new team (it will even be in a separate building - hurrah!) but I think it's pretty crappy she hasn't told us how we will be affected by this move.


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## equationgirl (Aug 15, 2011)

*UPDATE*

The bad news is that my boss is still my boss. She spent months working for another team (allegedly on secondment) and even had new business cards printed but ultimately was not allowed to transfer over permanently. The official line is that she is needed where she is but I have since heard that she was supposed to deliver a big piece of work and didn't.

For me and the others in my team, this means we have gone from being largely ignored (which we liked) back to her normal overbearing micromanagement style. I have a two-hour meeting with her on Tuesday (unless it changes again, it's changed twice already) to go over everything I've done so far this year and what I'll be doing for the rest of the year. Fun.

On a brighter note, I did get a payrise but she said I didn't really deservce one because I've not been working hard enough (she blamed my illness again, I'm getting pretty sick of her using my medical condition as an excuse to treat me badly) and she said it was the lowest she could give me. She'd have given me less or zero had HR not set a minimum level.


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## sorearm (Aug 16, 2011)

god what a scumbag


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## 5t3IIa (Aug 16, 2011)

sorearm said:


> god what a scumbag



This this this. Fucking hell


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Aug 16, 2011)

Oh christ that's terrible. Imagine saying to someone, I wanted to give you less than zero. Top bitch.


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## equationgirl (Aug 16, 2011)

I'm looking hard for alternative work but there's nothing out there at my level in my specialism. I'm not giving up until I find something new.


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## equationgirl (Aug 16, 2011)

Thanks for the support people


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## 5t3IIa (Aug 17, 2011)

Do you ever read the work and career advice from Jeremy Something in the Guardian Weekend? Bullying seems to come up quite frequently, unfort. As far as i recall he is not scared of saying "Leave!" I know you're trying to, obvs, but sometimes the letters are all about 'How can I deal with it?' and the only answer is 'You can't' and it might be reassuring, in a manner of speaking.


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## equationgirl (Aug 17, 2011)

Hadn't seen that before, so thanks for that  Ultimately, I know the answer is to leave, and as she was quite difficult today, it's not a hard decision to make.

We were discussing something as a team today, we just kept going round in circles so after half an hour I suggested that maybe we should rewrite the paragraph in question as we were going round in circles. 'I want to go round in circles', she said. Kind of summed it up for me, really.


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## Puddy_Tat (Aug 17, 2011)

equationgirl said:


> (she blamed my illness again, I'm getting pretty sick of her using my medical condition as an excuse to treat me badly)



please don't regard this as expert advice, more a suggestion for further research, but...

is whatever it is (and i'm not asking for gory details) you have a "long term medical condition" under the disability discrimination bit of the equalities act?  more here

and be wary of treating HR as potential friends.  They are there to represent the organisation's (i.e. management's) interests, not the employees'.  Their purpose is to do management's dirty work in such a way that the organisation can't get sued.  If you do get as far as a grievance, HR will be sitting next to the manager (and quite possibly acting as both counsel for the defence and the judge) not next to you - that's what the union is for.

On a more fundamental level, is this job worth staying in until both your health and self-esteem have been shredded to the point where you're not in a fit state to look for another job?  It's a big step but...


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## baldrick (Aug 17, 2011)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Oh christ that's terrible. Imagine saying to someone, I wanted to give you less than zero. Top bitch.


This.  I don't have anything useful to add, but I really hope you find another job/she gets run over by a bus.


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## equationgirl (Aug 18, 2011)

The thing is, she never says things about my medical condition in front of anybody else, so it would just be my word against hers. Plus, she'll make out that I've misunderstood what she said in some way, to cover her arse. I know she's super-friendly with at least 2 people within HR, which is why I've been reluctant to do anything formal.

Restructuring is on the horizon again, so I'm quietly hoping for a good result...


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## _angel_ (Aug 18, 2011)

what a fucking bitch, can't you pee in her tea or something?


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## equationgirl (Aug 18, 2011)

Karma will take care of things


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## equationgirl (Dec 1, 2011)

*update*
Over the past three months she's had long periods of reasonableness. The team's role at work is completely changing, and all our interesting stuff is being taken off us and given to a team a HQ  We're left with reporting projects to HQ, which generates 4 weeks worth of work twice a year,. In between those major reporting times I have no idea what we're going to do. Also she keeps changing her mind about if I can continue to do the IP work I need to do or not (some weeks I'm doing too much of it, other weeks I'm not doing enough), it's quite frustrating and I do spend a lot of time rolling my eyes.

But, I had the first part of my appraisal this week and she said I was much improved from last year. Which was nice 

Still no luck on the new job front or about any kind of internal transfer. Keeping my fingers crossed.


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## equationgirl (Aug 22, 2012)

*update*
In case anybody wondered what happened, a few months ago my old boss transferred to a different department, and my team now reports to HQ. My new boss is very hands-off and sensible. He lets me get on with the work that needs doing and is happy for me to sort out any problems that arise. I am now much less stressed in general. During the last reporting cycle I was working a lot of 12 hour shifts, but it was ok overall.

I'm still looking for a new job as the company isn't great - there's been another restructuring


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## Frankie Jack (Aug 22, 2012)

Yey eg.. Ding dong the witch is gone.


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## Puddy_Tat (Aug 22, 2012)

equationgirl said:


> My new boss is very hands-off and sensible. He lets me get on with the work that needs doing and is happy for me to sort out any problems that arise. I am now much less stressed in general.


 




equationgirl said:


> I'm still looking for a new job as the company isn't great - there's been another restructuring


 


Any chance of getting a reasonable redundancy deal to get the hell out of there?


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## Bob_the_lost (Aug 22, 2012)

at least it's gotten a bit more bearable.


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## equationgirl (Aug 22, 2012)

Puddy_Tat said:


> Any chance of getting a reasonable redundancy deal to get the hell out of there?


They only offer statutory so it's hardly worth it. There's also no voluntary redundancies. 

I'll survive - at least I have a job.


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## Miss-Shelf (Aug 22, 2012)

EqG glad to hear its more bearable


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## starfish2000 (Aug 25, 2012)

My work environent had some bullies, i find the best way to deal with it is...

1: build a solid credible audit trail, diary, any emails copy to a hotmail account.

2: if stuff starts getting more outrageous maybe covertly film on phone?

3 : Go direct to HR, not through local managers once audit trail is solid


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## moon (Aug 25, 2012)

I had a boss just like that from 2008 up until last week  am now trying to rebuild my life after her repeated attempts to destroy it..
Bosses suck..


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## equationgirl (Aug 27, 2012)

moon said:


> I had a boss just like that from 2008 up until last week  am now trying to rebuild my life after her repeated attempts to destroy it..
> Bosses suck..


Congratulations on getting rid of them 

Remember it's not you, it's definitely them.


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## nino_savatte (Sep 1, 2012)

Upchuck said:


> Mate unless you have worked in fashion you don't know what bullying is!!


 
You think so? I worked at an FE college and I was bullied by my line manager and the head of department. The local branch of NATFHE was in the principal's back pocket and did absolutely nothing to help me.

I've just noticed you've been banned.


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## equationgirl (Sep 1, 2012)

nino_savatte said:


> You think so? I worked at an FE college and I was bullied by my line manager and the head of department. The local branch of NATFHE was in the principal's back pocket and did absolutely nothing to help me.
> 
> I've just noticed you've been banned.


Yes, fortunately they got banned quite quickly. At the time I found their comment particularly annoying, given that I was at the end of my tether.


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## Dr Jon (Sep 2, 2012)

_angel_ said:


> what a fucking bitch, can't you pee in her tea or something?


a couple of tabs of LSD should do the trick


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