# Prince Albert yellow card:proved to be piss-poor mendacious troll



## micky merangue (Feb 18, 2013)

Sat having a quiet pint on Fri afternoon, a group of chav scum were brazenly snorting powder in the garden. One scumbag then started hassling people to "do him a favour and lend him a mobile phone" quite aggresively. Asked me twice in half an hour. I politely said no at first, then told him to F**k off. Don't need it. Don't mind the smell of spliff, but staff/ management need to get a grip or the Albert will be closed down. Starbucks would love it.


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## lizzieloo (Feb 18, 2013)

They were "chav scum", how would you describe you and your group of friends? I wonder how they would.


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## Belushi (Feb 18, 2013)

Did you tell management or one of the barstaff?


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## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

micky merangue said:


> Sat having a quiet pint on Fri afternoon, a group of chav scum were brazenly snorting powder in the garden. One scumbag then started hassling people to "do him a favour and lend him a mobile phone" quite aggresively. Asked me twice in half an hour. I politely said no at first, then told him to F**k off. Don't need it. Don't mind the smell of spliff, but staff/ management need to get a grip or the Albert will be closed down. Starbucks would love it.


Anyone openly taking drugs in the Albert will get booted out, the same as in any other decent pub. Did you report this to the staff?


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## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

I have seen that happen in other pubs
Not just the Albert
Not just in Brixton 
Not just in the UK


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## Mrs Magpie (Feb 18, 2013)

....and not alerting the staff and then signing up here just to post about it looks like troublemaking...to be honest I don't actually think the OP is telling the truth. I think there's a hidden agenda.


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## Blagsta (Feb 18, 2013)

"Chav scum"?


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## Ax^ (Feb 18, 2013)

OP should have Boned them


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## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

Mrs Magpie said:


> ....and not alerting the staff and then signing up here just to post about it looks like troublemaking...to be honest I don't actually think the OP is telling the truth. I think there's a hidden agenda.


 
I was frankly shocked and horrified at the thought that people in Brixton might be doing drugs. What next I ask you? People offering to sell you drugs outside (another venue that Starbucks want to take over) KFC, or worse smoking spliffs in Brockwell park.


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## teuchter (Feb 18, 2013)

5 pages by lunchtime.


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## Ax^ (Feb 18, 2013)

Look as always if the children want any..


They can buy their own


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

teuchter said:


> 15 pages by lunchtime.


corrected for you


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

Belushi said:


> Did you tell management or one of the barstaff?


and if not why not


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

micky merangue said:


> Sat having a quiet pint on Fri afternoon, a group of chav scum were brazenly snorting powder in the garden. One scumbag then started hassling people to "do him a favour and lend him a mobile phone" quite aggresively. Asked me twice in half an hour. I politely said no at first, then told him to F**k off. Don't need it. Don't mind the smell of spliff, but staff/ management need to get a grip or the Albert will be closed down. Starbucks would love it.


I call bollocks


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> I call bollocks


 
Why? The Albert only used by saints these days?

The staff might have missed it, fair enough, but those calling for the OP to turn grass are a bit off.


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

it's got troll written all over it - first post from a new poster


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> Why? The Albert only used by saints these days?
> 
> The staff might have missed it, fair enough, but those calling for the OP to turn grass are a bit off.


seems to me a bit of an odd op.


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Fair enough, but calling it 'bollocks' and thinking up reasons why it can't be true looks pretty stupid.


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

I quite like the username, btw.


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## Ax^ (Feb 18, 2013)

I do like the idea that the righteous indignation of chavs in a boozer boiled with such a bright flame he waited till 1.20am on the following monday to express his anger..


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> I do like the idea that the righteous indignation of chavs in a boozer boiled with such a bright flame he waited till 1.20am on the following monday to express his anger..


maybe he's been on the piss since friday afternoon and that was the first chance he had to put hand to keyboard.


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Exactly what I was going to say.

That, and that it doesn't seem particularly 'angry' to me.


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

micky merangue said:


> Sat having a quiet pint on Fri afternoon, a group of chav scum were brazenly snorting powder in the garden. One scumbag then started hassling people to "do him a favour and lend him a mobile phone" quite aggresively. Asked me twice in half an hour. I politely said no at first, then told him to F**k off. Don't need it. Don't mind the smell of spliff, but staff/ management need to get a grip or the Albert will be closed down. Starbucks would love it.


one other reason this doesn't ring entirely true is that now and again the bar staff go into the garden to collect glasses, and i would expect to see them once in an hour if not more frequently. unless things have changed in the albert and everyone now returns their glasses to the bar...


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## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

Not to mention he's probably missing his target market if he's prompting/expecting people to be outraged tbf


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## T & P (Feb 18, 2013)

I thought chav scum snorted glue, not cocaine. Truly we're all middle class now.


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

what's happened to people doing the decent thing and doing it in the privacy of the albert's toilets?


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## Dan U (Feb 18, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> what's happened to people doing the decent thing and doing it in the privacy of the albert's toilets?


 
you can't move for people doing graffiti in there.


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## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> what's happened to people doing the decent thing and doing it in the privacy of the albert's toilets?


 
All the graffiti put them off


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## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

Dan U said:


> you can't move for people doing graffiti in there.


 
Zing!


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## Dan U (Feb 18, 2013)

also, fuck grassing to the bar staff. they might have been on a leo and not have any idea where they were or what they were doing.

bit weird to start a thread about it though.


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## geminisnake (Feb 18, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> one other reason this doesn't ring entirely true is that now and again the bar staff go into the garden to collect glasses, and i would expect to see them once in an hour if not more frequently.


 
Especially on a Friday afternoon. I've seen people throwing paper airplanes in there of an afternoon. It was fun


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## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

geminisnake said:


> Especially on a Friday afternoon. I've seen people throwing paper airplanes in there of an afternoon. It was fun


 
 

Could have had someone's eye out!!!! 
If a Swan had been there everyone would have broken arms too!!!!!


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## souljacker (Feb 18, 2013)

I can't believe they were sorting powder in the garden. I mean, one gust of wind and that's a tenner down the drain. Broken Britain.


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## youngian (Feb 18, 2013)

Even a more liberal landlord does not take too much nonsense or they end getting their pub taken over.


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## zenie (Feb 18, 2013)

Why didn't you let them use your phone? Selfish imo.


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## Citizen66 (Feb 18, 2013)

Here's my phone, give me a line please.


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

No need for the 'please', really.


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## Citizen66 (Feb 18, 2013)

Here's my phone, give me a line now, cunt.


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## peterkro (Feb 18, 2013)

Chav scum? Bit fucking uncalled for don't you think?


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Citizen66 said:


> Here's my phone, give me a line now, cunt.


 
Better.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

souljacker said:


> I can't believe they were sorting powder in the garden. I mean, one gust of wind and that's a tenner down the drain. Broken Britain.


 
Sounds to me they're probably too rich if they can afford for it to be blown away


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

peterkro said:


> Chav scum? Bit fucking uncalled for don't you think?


 
I wasn't there.


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## moody (Feb 18, 2013)

"young people do drugs in a pub!"

hold the front page.....


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

I leant my phone to someone the other day actually. I thought it was a bit cheeky, but she was a girl so I let her, obviously.

Plus I was on a train so it would have been difficult for her to nip off with it.

Phones these days are expensive.


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## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

zenie said:


> Why didn't you let them use your phone? Selfish imo.


And if they needed to pop outside 'to get a better signal' , well, it would be positively rude not to say, "sure! go ahead"!"


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## moody (Feb 18, 2013)

I remember when phoneboxes were all 10p


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## peterkro (Feb 18, 2013)

moody said:


> I remember when phoneboxes were all 10p


Whippersnapper,I remember when they were all 2p .


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## Ax^ (Feb 18, 2013)

And had those little shelves you could sort your gear off...


(((Broken Britain))))


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## moody (Feb 18, 2013)

peterkro said:


> Whippersnapper,I remember when they were all 2p .


 
really?


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## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

peterkro said:


> Whippersnapper,I remember when they were all 2p .


I remember the A and B buttons.


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## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

I remember yoghurt pots.


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## moody (Feb 18, 2013)

well, I remember when phoneboxes didn't even have phones inside, just them morse code thingys


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

moody said:


> well, I remember when phoneboxes didn't even have phones inside, just them morse code thingys


now you see lots which just have urine in.


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## Ax^ (Feb 18, 2013)

I remember when you just had to shout really loudly....


Kids theses days don't know they were born..


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> Phones these days are expensive.


 
Last phone I bought was under £10


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

This is me in my youth


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Last phone I bought was under £10


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## moody (Feb 18, 2013)

quite an outstanding piece of tech the phone is, and now you can surf the web on one....

what ever next?


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


>


 

Thank you.  It is a most excellent phone.  Can I have another gold medal for the phone please


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

No. You get a medal for boasting, and that's it.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> No. You get a medal for boasting, and that's it.


 
If you bought an £8 phone, you wouldn't worry about a girl on the train doing a runner with it


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## teuchter (Feb 18, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> If you bought an £8 phone, you wouldn't worry about a girl on the train doing a runner with it


How much does your phone contract cost per month Minnie?


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## Nanker Phelge (Feb 18, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> what's happened to people doing the decent thing and doing it in the privacy of the albert's toilets?


 
I got booted out the albert and I was doing it in the toilets....


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

teuchter said:


> How much does your phone contract cost per month Minnie?


 
£5


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## SpookyFrank (Feb 18, 2013)

Bar staff generally don't get trained to deal with or remove potentially troublesome customers, but are often expected to do so anyway. Basically if you run off and grass to the bar staff you're expecting them to put themselves in a position which might earn them a kicking, because you're too scared to put yourself in that position.

Bearing in mind most bar staff make minimum wage or not much better, and that they're most likely busy with various other things already.


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## geminisnake (Feb 18, 2013)

zenie said:


> Why didn't you let them use your phone? Selfish imo.


 
My phone rarely has credit in it. I only put £5 in at a time, every 4-6 months


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## Ax^ (Feb 18, 2013)

From my pub days and evil trick to pull on punters is to spray any surface that can be snorted from with a coating of wd40,


If sniffed from this will lead to a nose bleed, which can be amusing watching people leaving the jacks whilst trying o act casual like ..


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## happyshopper (Feb 18, 2013)

peterkro said:


> Whippersnapper,I remember when they were all 2p .


 

3d


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

Nanker Phelge said:


> I got booted out the albert and I was doing it in the toilets....


That'll learn you to do a line on the urinals


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## sim667 (Feb 18, 2013)

SpookyFrank said:


> Bar staff generally don't get trained to deal with or remove potentially troublesome customers, but are often expected to do so anyway. Basically if you run off and grass to the bar staff you're expecting them to put themselves in a position which might earn them a kicking, because you're too scared to put yourself in that position.
> 
> Bearing in mind most bar staff make minimum wage or not much better, and that they're most likely busy with various other things already.


 
Err...... we just used to call the coppers. Well I didnt, I honestly couldnt have given a fuck, but the others did.

This was in suburbia though, coppers dont really have anything more pressing to do like they do in teh big city.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 18, 2013)

maybe it was perfectly legal powder that you put up your nose- the barstaff would have looked mighty foolish challenging that!


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## Frumious B. (Feb 18, 2013)

OP seems very suspicious to me, but that garden is a bit of a haven for interesting cigarettes. Open smoking of them is obviously tolerated, you never see the staff bat an eyelid about it, same as the Queens Head. Local plod don't give a damn, so why should a publican?


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## Ax^ (Feb 18, 2013)

Tbf getting police involvement every time so scroat was doing drugs in your pub would likely lead to some talks with the council about your license..


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> If you bought an £8 phone, you wouldn't worry about a girl on the train doing a runner with it


 
Er, of course I would. I've not got money to burn.


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> From my pub days and evil trick to pull on punters is to spray any surface that can be snorted from with a coating of wd40,
> 
> 
> If sniffed from this will lead to a nose bleed, which can be amusing watching people leaving the jacks whilst trying o act casual like ..


 
Sounds like a cunt's trick, tbf.

Can't see how that would be amusing in the slightest.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> Er, of course I would. I've not got money to burn.


 
Not as upset as you'd be if it was a £100 phone though


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## sim667 (Feb 18, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> Tbf getting police involvement every time so scroat was doing drugs in your pub would likely lead to some talks with the council about your license..


 
It ended up getting closed down for drugs, underage drinking and fights....

I got chased out from behind the bar by some nutter who jumped over it with a pool cue.

That place was a shit hole. Im glad its gone tbh.


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## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

SpookyFrank said:


> Bar staff generally don't get trained to deal with or remove potentially troublesome customers, but are often expected to do so anyway. Basically if you run off and grass to the bar staff you're expecting them to put themselves in a position which might earn them a kicking, because you're too scared to put yourself in that position.
> 
> Bearing in mind most bar staff make minimum wage or not much better, and that they're most likely busy with various other things already.


But if you don't (ahem) "run off and grass" aggressive, anti-social groups of people then the bar staff may lose their job anyway as the pub will either be closed down or just lose business as customers go elsewhere for a less stressful beer.

Bar staff can politely ask people to leave and, funnily enough, most people do when they know they've been out of order. That said the staff are certainly under no obligation to put themselves at physical risk.


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## Pickman's model (Feb 18, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> Tbf getting police involvement every time so scroat was doing drugs in your pub would likely lead to some talks with the council about your license..


Given we all know filth post / read here, there's to my mind little doubt the gem of an op above has been recorded in the appropriate intelligence folder. While the cops are doubtless none too fussed while this sort of thing doesn't cause them a headache I wouldn't be surprised if there were changes and possibly a raid at the albert if there were incidents like fights there.


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Not as upset as you'd be if it was a £100 phone though


 
That's not what you said. In any event, to a lot of people a phone is more than a phone. If it goes you've lost numbers, info contained with texts, possibly photos.

I don't think I need to explain this.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> That's not what you said. In any event, to a lot of people a phone is more than a phone. If it goes you've lost numbers, info contained with texts, possibly photos.
> 
> I don't think I need to explain this.


 
My under-£10 phone doesn't take photos.

You could always back your numbers and texts up


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## teuchter (Feb 18, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> £5


 
That's good. You get a trophy for that.


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## Citizen66 (Feb 18, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:
			
		

> Last phone I bought was under £10



Did you buy it off someone who was leaving the Albert quickly?


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

Citizen66 said:


> Did you buy it off someone who was leaving the Albert quickly?


 
No, Carphone Warehouse

It's a little Samsung flip phone.  No camera, no internet, just a phone


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## quimcunx (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> Er, of course I would. I've not got money to burn.


 
You wouldn't have to worry about her doing a runner with it because people don't bother stealing £8 phones.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

quimcunx said:


> You wouldn't have to worry about her doing a runner with it because people don't bother stealing £8 phones.


 
Exactly!


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## Onket (Feb 18, 2013)

Of course they do! 

People will nick anything. My mate had a puncture repair kit from the poundshop stolen from a little bag under the seat of his bike! The bag itself, which was worth more, was left behind.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> Of course they do!
> 
> People will nick anything. My mate had a puncture repair kit from the poundshop stolen from a little bag under the seat of his bike! The bag itself, which was worth more, was left behind.


 
Very true.  People will nick anything.  Some cunts stole my flowers that I planted last year


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## micky merangue (Feb 18, 2013)

To those of a paranoid disposition, no hidden agendas. I've been going down the Albert for over 20 years and seen it all, i'ts the best boozer in Brixton, and hope it stays so. I wouldnt 'lend' my phone to anyone, especially a scumbag who has just openly snorted some shit of the next table with 4 of his dealer chav mates, (hard not to overhear them in the garden.) Just pointing out that pubs get closed down for less. One barman on his own, not worth the grief at the time, only went in for a quiet pint with the paper. Sorry if the use of the word chav upsets certain of you more than the abuse/demise of a good local.


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## SpookyFrank (Feb 18, 2013)

Onket said:


> Sounds like a cunt's trick, tbf.
> 
> Can't see how that would be amusing in the slightest.


 

Sounds pretty funny to me.


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## Private Storm (Feb 18, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> From my pub days and evil trick to pull on punters is to spray any surface that can be snorted from with a coating of wd40,
> 
> If sniffed from this will lead to a nose bleed, which can be amusing watching people leaving the jacks whilst trying o act casual like ..


 
Doesn't this just make it stick to the surface and impossible to sniff? Place I used to frequent had a similarly great idea - meant that all the surfaces looked truly disgusting, with ash, tissue, dust, dirt etc all stuck to them and multiple complaints from the punters that they'd got greasy, oily crap on their clothes/hands.


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## 19sixtysix (Feb 18, 2013)

editor said:


> I remember the A and B buttons.


 
Bet you Sasaferrato remembers having to wind the handle to ring the operator


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## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

micky merangue said:


> To those of a paranoid disposition, no hidden agendas. I've been going down the Albert for over 20 years and seen it all, i'ts the best boozer in Brixton, and hope it stays so. I wouldnt 'lend' my phone to anyone, especially a scumbag who has just openly snorted some shit of the next table with 4 of his dealer chav mates, (hard not to overhear them in the garden.) Just pointing out that pubs get closed down for less. One barman on his own, not worth the grief at the time, only went in for a quiet pint with the paper. Sorry if the use of the word chav upsets certain of you more than the abuse/demise of a good local.


 
Any other good points about The Albert you want to raise?


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## teuchter (Feb 18, 2013)

micky merangue said:


> Sorry if the use of the word chav upsets certain of you more than the abuse/demise of a good local.


Excellent point. People should not object to your use of the word chav because this objection will make the demise of the Albert more likely.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 18, 2013)

micky merangue said:


> Just pointing out that pubs get closed down for less.


 
and yet you're publicising it?

BTW:  What marked them out to be "chavs"?


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## Blagsta (Feb 18, 2013)

Micky merangue and his pile of chang.


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## Blagsta (Feb 18, 2013)

I prefer the early stuff.


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## Blagsta (Feb 18, 2013)

Later albums sold out, went for the chav market.


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## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

If I was pissed off with people taking liberties in my much-loved local, the last thing I'd do is broadcast their dodgy actions all over the internet and provide ammo to those who'd like to see the place closed down. I'd have a quiet word with the landlord.


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## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

editor said:


> If I was pissed off with people taking liberties in my much-loved local, the last thing I'd do is broadcast their dodgy actions all over the internet and provide ammo to those who'd like to see the place closed down. I'd have a quiet word with the landlord.


 
Can a pub get closed down through graffiti?


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## Favelado (Feb 18, 2013)

Coldharbour Lane was an open drugs market when I lived round there. There would be about dealers hanging around outside all of the shops and bars on that stretch between Pizza Hut and the Dogstar and the police would drive past paying no attention to what was going on. The Albert was the one that used to have a DJ (unseen upstairs?) playing indie records and there was a matriarch landlady who might have been Irish if I remember correctly. Ahh, the mists of time. Half of that could be wide of the mark. If it's still anything like it was all the way back then it would be one of the least likely contenders for pub with a serious drug problem in the area.


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## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> Can a pub get closed down through graffiti?


We've kind of done this gag now, don't you think?


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

micky merangue said:


> ...Just pointing out that pubs get closed down for less.


I hear what you're saying, but broadcasting it on a local internet forum is hardly helpful, and is unlikely to achieve anything other than some unwarranted hassle for the pub. The Albert is a good pub and certainly not a hive of illegal activity, like some other places I can think of.


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## Favelado (Feb 18, 2013)

editor said:


> We've kind of done this gag now, don't you think?


 
Repeat 'til funny.


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## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

Favelado said:


> The Albert was the one that used to have a DJ (unseen upstairs?) playing indie records and there was a matriarch landlady who might have been Irish if I remember correctly.


Pat, the Irish landlady of the Albert, remains a local legend. She was fearless up against the very worst that Brixton could throw at her, and she gained the respect of all elements of the community - even the dodgy ones!

People still talk of her and her iron stick!







http://www.urban75.org/brixton/features/pat.html
http://www.urban75.org/brixton/features/pat2.html
http://www.urban75.org/pat.html


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Coldharbour Lane was an open drugs market when I lived round there. There would be about dealers hanging around outside all of the shops and bars on that stretch between Pizza Hut and the Dogstar and the police would drive past paying no attention to what was going on. The Albert was the one that used to have a DJ (unseen upstairs?) playing indie records and there was a matriarch landlady who might have been Irish if I remember correctly. Ahh, the mists of time. Half of that could be wide of the mark. If it's still anything like it was all the way back then it would be one of the least likely contenders for pub with a serious drug problem in the area.


You're right about CHL - I remember when it was like that. Very different now. Even the House of Bottles has had to install a mini wooden-decked garden outside the front door to stop people loitering.

The landlady was Pat. She was No Nonsense.


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## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

I was in the Albert earlier. Me and two interesting retired chaps had a nice chat. Then went to the off-licence (nameless) over/down the road to get cigarettes and a 'customer' offered to sell me crack. I just said no and walked home.

Life is hard eh?


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## T & P (Feb 18, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> From my pub days and evil trick to pull on punters is to spray any surface that can be snorted from with a coating of wd40,
> 
> 
> If sniffed from this will lead to a nose bleed, which can be amusing watching people leaving the jacks whilst trying o act casual like ..


 A couple of years ago a police commissioner somewhere up north was on the news recommending bars and pubs should do this.

I have only encountered it once. It was smeared all over the toilet lid. I wasn't there to snort anything at the time but it pissed me the fuck off. I can only hope some twit with a designer outfit gets it stained and get the owners to pay for a new one. Wankers.


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## Favelado (Feb 18, 2013)

Badgers said:


> I was in the Albert earlier. Me and two interesting retired chaps had a nice chat. Then went to the off-licence (nameless) over/down the road to get cigarettes and a 'customer' offered to sell me crack. I *just said no* and walked home.
> 
> Life is hard eh?


 
Nancy Reagan would have approved.


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## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

Landlord advised 
CCTV checked
OP is talking total nonsense


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

It's made me sad re-reading all that stuff about Pat. Didn't know her well but she was a great character.

I'm glad the pub has managed to keep some it's character too - there were predictions when she died the pub would become bland & corporatised, with karaoke theme nights etc. Luckily that's not happened, not least due to the efforts of many locals


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

Badgers said:


> Landlord advised
> CCTV checked
> OP is talking total nonsense


oh rly?

i expect micky trollface will be back here to apologise then


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## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> oh rly?


 
Stirring.........


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

bin/ban etc?


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## 19sixtysix (Feb 18, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> bin/ban etc?


 
Exactly. Shitty stinky Bin even. 

It's a call out thread cause we've a member called albert


----------



## Badgers (Feb 18, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> i expect micky trollface will be back here to apologise then


 
No chance, he/she is writing to Points of View at the moment due to the use of the word 'damn' on QI last week


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

Probably an old/ex poster on the wind up. Grind some axes or something.

Last in!


----------



## 8115 (Feb 18, 2013)

T & P said:


> A couple of years ago a police commissioner somewhere up north was on the news recommending bars and pubs should do this.
> 
> I have only encountered it once. It was smeared all over the toilet lid. I wasn't there to snort anything at the time but it pissed me the fuck off. I can only hope some twit with a designer outfit gets it stained and get the owners to pay for a new one. Wankers.


 
Varnish/ sand on flat surfaces here, works a lot better.


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

The Duke of Edinburgh has pebble-dashed the tops of the window sills and toilet lids


----------



## T & P (Feb 18, 2013)

I suspect such measures only deter very casual users anyway. Any cokehead worth their salt should be able to to line up on top of their wallet or purse, or even on a credit card. Or have one of those little spoon things (or a long baby fingernail) and scoop it up.


----------



## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

I think you'll find the above tactics and the modern prevalence of big screen smart phones are indeed directly linked.


----------



## quimcunx (Feb 18, 2013)

The amount of knowledge displayed by some posters here makes me wonder if their experience is more than theoretical.


----------



## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

My old Palm Pre looks like it was designed for such use.


----------



## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

Oh, and phones with a front facing camera turned upside down give a great "is my nose clear" shot.


----------



## T & P (Feb 18, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> I think you'll find the above tactics and the modern prevalence of big screen smart phones are indeed directly linked.


 Never thought of that. It must be quite a dilemma for some hipsters though: line up on a minging surface, or do it on your iPhone 5 and risk scratching the screen.


----------



## Ted Striker (Feb 18, 2013)

I believe the greatest risk is someone (especially Mum) calling mid k line.

Racking up in the space where the swipe-to-answer is a mistake you only ever make once.


----------



## Blagsta (Feb 18, 2013)

turn yer vibrate off


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Feb 18, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> I believe the greatest risk is someone (especially Mum) calling mid k line.
> 
> Racking up in the space where the swipe-to-answer is a mistake you only ever make once.


lol


----------



## Crispy (Feb 18, 2013)

The ipad has a whole inch of smooth glass around the border of the screen.


----------



## geminisnake (Feb 18, 2013)

19sixtysix said:


> Bet you Sasaferrato remembers having to wind the handle to ring the operator


Don't be silly, new fangled things like phones didn't get as far as the west of Scotland til he'd joined up


----------



## editor (Feb 18, 2013)

Crispy said:


> The ipad has a whole inch of smooth glass around the border of the screen.


Snorting drugs off an iPad in a Brixton pub's khazi really would be a step too far in gentrification.


----------



## peterkro (Feb 18, 2013)

19sixtysix said:


> Bet you Sasaferrato remembers having to wind the handle to ring the operator


I can remember them,it was 1950's rural NZ,I think they went out of fashion in the rest of the world in the 30's.


----------



## tufty79 (Feb 18, 2013)

peterkro said:


> I can remember them,it was 1950's rural NZ,I think they went out of fashion in the rest of the world in the 30's.


there's one in a shop in town at the minute. i don't dare ask how much they want for it


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> Sounds like a cunt's trick, tbf.
> 
> Can't see how that would be amusing in the slightest.



All about context...

Tbf


----------



## zenie (Feb 19, 2013)

Badgers said:


> Landlord advised
> CCTV checked
> OP is talking total nonsense



I thought that when he said it was a guy working there and i knew who was on shift. PMd him to clarify, guess what? No reply....?


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Feb 19, 2013)

Where do these people come from? Guy joins up yesterday to bitch about drugs. Has a grand total of three posts.

Mickey merangue. Can't even get the pie name right.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Johnny Canuck3 said:


> Mickey merangue. Can't even get the pie name right.


Or possibly the dance...I couldn't make out whether it was meant to be merengue or meringue. Or sweet and living in trees....Meringue-Utan?


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Johnny Canuck3 said:


> Has a grand total of three posts.


Two, ackshirley.


----------



## Badgers (Feb 19, 2013)

zenie said:


> I thought that when he said it was a guy working there and i knew who was on shift. PMd him to clarify, guess what? No reply....?


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Johnny Canuck3 said:


> Where do these people come from? Guy joins up yesterday to bitch about drugs. Has a grand total of three posts.
> 
> Mickey merangue. Can't even get the pie name right.


 
It's a fucking great user name, tbf.


----------



## sim667 (Feb 19, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> The Duke of Edinburgh has pebble-dashed the tops of the window sills and toilet lids


 
I certainly wouldn't want to snort out of someone elses pebbledashing tbh


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 19, 2013)

.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Badgers said:


> Landlord advised
> CCTV checked
> OP is talking total nonsense


Good to know my bullshit troll super-sense is still working.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> Probably an old/ex poster on the wind up. Grind some axes or something.
> 
> Last in!


I reckon. Or someone who was barred from the Albert for being an arsehole.


----------



## T & P (Feb 19, 2013)

sim667 said:


> I certainly wouldn't want to snort out of someone elses pebbledashing tbh


 
I guess this is out of the question then?



Spoiler: NSFW


----------



## sim667 (Feb 19, 2013)

T & P said:


> I guess this is out of the question then?
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: NSFW


 
How do you even broach the subject of wanting to do that with someone


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 19, 2013)

Join a rugby team


Normally


----------



## editor (Feb 19, 2013)

T & P said:


> I guess this is out of the question then?


I wish I could unlook that.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 19, 2013)

T & P said:


> I guess this is out of the question then?
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: NSFW


 

You could have said _really really really not safe for work  _


----------



## T & P (Feb 19, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> You could have said _really really really not safe for work  _


Well at least it wasn't erect


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Not sure about the edit to the title, tbh.

Far too gloaty/smug.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> Not sure about the edit to the title, tbh.
> 
> Far too gloaty/smug.


The landlord could have lost his livelihood. Glad the OP was proved to be a lying shit-stirring cunt, meself...if that's gloaty, well, it won't stop the world from turning.


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 19, 2013)

well what the story behind the troll


we need closure


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Mrs Magpie said:


> The landlord could have lost his livelihood. Glad the OP was proved to be a lying shit-stirring cunt, meself...if that's gloaty, well, it won't stop the world from turning.


 
I can't see anything proven. Feel free to share.

Not surprised at your attitude one bit- true to type, sadly.


----------



## Crispy (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> I can't see anything proven. Feel free to share.
> 
> Not surprised at your attitude one bit- true to type, sadly.


Badgers got the landlord to play back the CCTV for the time the events were alleged to have happened. They did not happen.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> I can't see anything proven. Feel free to share.
> 
> Not surprised at your attitude one bit- true to type, sadly.


What Crispy said, plus zenie knew who was doing the shift at the time and I get the impression the OP got the bartender's sex wrong.


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

They weren't seen, you mean. Wonder how long it took to watch footage of the whole afternoon?

Standard 'say anything bad about the Albert & incur the wrath of Urban' bollocks again, isn't it.

Close ranks.

Yawn.


----------



## DotCommunist (Feb 19, 2013)

luckily you have proved to be the voice of reason, speaking up for these anonymous and apparently invisible powder-chuffing ruffians. I salute you Onket.


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Cheers, son.

It's a hard job, but someone has to do it, etc.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> They weren't seen, you mean. Wonder how long it took to watch footage of the whole afternoon?
> 
> Standard 'say anything bad about the Albert & incur the wrath of Urban' bollocks again, isn't it.
> 
> ...


There are cameras on the garden. No blind spots. There's CCTV all over the Albert. It has been used to prosecute a bag thief who robbed one of the bar staff's stuff....also used to ID trashy's huggy phone thief iirc


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Yes, I gathered there would be cameras on the garden if the CCTV had been watched to see if anything happened............. in the garden.

Thanks for clarifying, though.

Pleased they got Trashpant's phone thief- didn't know that.


----------



## Crispy (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> They weren't seen, you mean. Wonder how long it took to watch footage of the whole afternoon?
> 
> Standard 'say anything bad about the Albert & incur the wrath of Urban' bollocks again, isn't it.
> 
> ...


Your cynicism appears to have turned into parnoia.


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

...also the reason the landlord is hardly ever behind the bar is because he spends most of his working hours trawling through the CCTV. It's a standing joke in the Albert.


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Your cynicism appears to have turned into parnoia.


 
Was just clarifying I already knew there was CCTV in the garden. Paranoia?  Good one!


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 19, 2013)

they just don't know about the one located in the restrooms


----------



## Crispy (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> Was just clarifying I already knew there was CCTV in the garden. Paranoia?  Good one!


No, not that bit, the "close ranks" bit. I think your pudding is over-egged.
EDIT: Looks like I quoted the wrong post.
EDIT: Fixed.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 19, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> The Duke of Edinburgh has pebble-dashed the tops of the window sills and toilet lids


 


Who's been doing drugs at the Palace then?


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Crispy said:


> No, not that bit, the "close ranks" bit. I think your pudding is over-egged.
> EDIT: Looks like I quoted the wrong post.
> EDIT: Fixed.


 
Oh right. That happened from post 2 of this thread, tbf.


----------



## DotCommunist (Feb 19, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> they just don't know about the one located in the restrooms


 

nor the secret piss-dungeon located beneath the mens


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 19, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> nor the secret piss-dungeon located beneath the mens


 







where the landlord spends the other half of his day


----------



## ddraig (Feb 19, 2013)

not fair onket


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Someone else wading in from hundreds of miles away!


----------



## ViolentPanda (Feb 19, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> The Duke of Edinburgh has pebble-dashed the tops of the window sills and toilet lids


 
He's in his 80s. It's difficult to aim your arse properly at that age!


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> Pleased they got Trashpant's phone thief- didn't know that.


I don't know that they got him. I believe they got a good shot of what he looks like though. I've only been in the Albert a couple of times in the last year though, so I just go on what people tell me.


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Mrs Magpie said:


> I don't know that they got him. I believe they got a good shot of what he looks like though. I've only been in the Albert a couple of times in the last year though, so I just go on what people tell me.


 
Except for certain posters on the internet, apparently.

Hope they get the phone thief.


----------



## teuchter (Feb 19, 2013)

I look forward to micky merangue's response to the accusations against him.


----------



## ddraig (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> Someone else wading in from hundreds of miles away!


so i can't comment? 
you seem to comment on plenty of threads where you weren't present or involved

after reading the thread and the fact that Badgers checked in REAL LIFE it was obviously a troll which could have indeed have had real life consequences if left to run.
is that ok with you?


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 19, 2013)

Onket said:


> Except for certain posters on the internet, apparently.


Certain posters on the internet don't work there and happen to visit or live in my house.


----------



## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Both of your are entitled to your biased opinion, yes!


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Feb 19, 2013)

T & P said:


> I guess this is out of the question then?
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: NSFW


 
I wonder if they washed that before they put the drugs on it.


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Feb 19, 2013)

Mrs Magpie said:


> The landlord could have lost his livelihood..


 
I think that's a bit of a stretch. If the proprietor of every bar where coke had been snorted lost their livelihood, there'd be no bars open here or in London.


----------



## editor (Feb 19, 2013)

Johnny Canuck3 said:


> I think that's a bit of a stretch. If the proprietor of every bar where coke had been snorted lost their livelihood, there'd be no bars open here or in London.


If a pub is allowing gangs of people to openly take drugs, then it could certainly be influential in their license being revoked.

For example if an off duty/undercover cop had been on the other table  and noted the barstaff supposedly doing nothing, then things could get tricky if it was already a pub that the cops were mindful of closing.


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Feb 19, 2013)

editor said:


> If a pub is allowing gangs of people to openly take drugs, then it could certainly be influential in their license being revoked..


 
That's true. I haven't been in too many bars that had gangs of people openly taking drugs, though. Coffee shops, yes; but not bars.


----------



## magneze (Feb 19, 2013)

Vampires innit. Would explain the CCTV.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

editor said:


> If a pub is allowing gangs of people to openly take drugs, then it could certainly be influential in their license being revoked.
> 
> For example if an off duty/undercover cop had been on the other table  and noted the barstaff supposedly doing nothing, then things could get tricky if it was already a pub that the cops were mindful of closing.



It was 'gangs of people' now, says someone who wasn't there!


----------



## RaverDrew (Feb 20, 2013)

Onket said:


> It was 'gangs of people' now, says someone who wasn't there!


 
It's irrelevant whether he was there or not at the time, due to the simple fact that IT NEVER HAPPENED.

Really dunno why you're being such a fucking arsehole on this thread Onket


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

Bit harsh, mate. I've just got a different opinion- I thought that ws still allowed?

If you can point out where I've been 'such a fucking arsehole' maybe I can address that point. Otherwise, feel free to tone yourself the fuck down.


----------



## killer b (Feb 20, 2013)

your commitment to keeping community threads going long past their sell by date is admirable onkers.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)




----------



## stuff_it (Feb 20, 2013)

RaverDrew said:


> It's irrelevant whether he was there or not at the time, due to the simple fact that IT NEVER HAPPENED.
> 
> Really dunno why you're being such a fucking arsehole on this thread Onket


Not like the old Hob then - lines of ket off the bar etc...


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

Maybe this thread should be made  a sticky as a warning to new posters-

*This is what happens when you post outside of the agreed perameters!*


----------



## Crispy (Feb 20, 2013)

Are you seriously giving credence to the idea that OP was being honest?


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 20, 2013)

He's clearly just extremely bored. Or suffering very severe lasagne withdrawals.


----------



## Badgers (Feb 20, 2013)

Mrs Magpie said:


> severe lasagne withdrawals.


 
He is just 'horsing' around


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Feb 20, 2013)

It's still a load of pony


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

Badgers said:


> He is just 'horsing' around


 
Neigh.


----------



## Ted Striker (Feb 20, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Are you seriously giving credence to the idea that OP was being honest?


 
As honest as the assertion that someone spent hours looking at CCTV to cover a whole afternoon of coverage in the pub garden to prove the latest online oddball was making up a story


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> As honest as the assertion that someone spent hours looking at CCTV to cover a whole afternoon of coverage in the pub garden to prove the latest online oddball was making up a story


 
Exactly.


----------



## editor (Feb 20, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> As honest as the assertion that someone spent hours looking at CCTV to cover a whole afternoon of coverage in the pub garden to prove the latest online oddball was making up a story


It wouldn't take 'hours' to see if there was a large group of people drinking in the back garden.

Amazingly, the CCTV has a fast forward function. Seeing as the OP has said that the 'chavs' were there for some time, they'd clearly register even if you replayed the footage back at very high speed. It would take a matter of minutes, that's all.


----------



## stuff_it (Feb 20, 2013)

Minutes, and probably with a free pint for their effort.

If CCTV had to be looked over in realtime it would never actually work that well now would it.

'Oh someone has reported an incident five days ago Fred'.

'I'll alert the take aways and fetch my sleeping bag Jo, this will be a long one'.


----------



## Ted Striker (Feb 20, 2013)

So there was no-one in the back garden? Or there were people but not chavs? I (and most people I'd wager) could easily do a corner in the blink of a cctv fast forward. Why would you bother investigating an entirely plausable, if distasteful story about a single wierdo?

This is all rhetorical - I'm not really bothered about it all, and I'm on your side  (as in the Albert sounds like a decent boozer). I get there's a greater good than trying to push the point.


----------



## editor (Feb 20, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> So there was no-one in the back garden? Or there were people but not chavs? I (and most people I'd wager) could easily do a corner in the blink of a cctv fast forward.


The back garden is usually very quiet in the daytimes, so a group of people being there for some time would be easy to spot while whizzing through the footage.


Ted Striker said:


> Why would you bother investigating an entirely plausable, if distasteful story about a single wierdo?


Possibly because it would only take a matter of minutes to do so and any decent landlord would want to get this nipped in the bud.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> So there was no-one in the back garden? Or there were people but not chavs? I (and most people I'd wager) could easily do a corner in the blink of a cctv fast forward. Why would you bother investigating an entirely plausable, if distasteful story about a single wierdo?
> 
> This is all rhetorical - I'm not really bothered about it all,



Nobody in the garden at all on the day of question says the man who wasn't there and hasn't viewed the footage! 

I'm not bothered about it either but the fact that others are supports what I said earlier about 'closing ranks'. It's laughable.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

Independent eyewitness close to incident 

vs 

Person with vested interest viewing cctv footage on fast forward,  days later.


----------



## teuchter (Feb 20, 2013)

If the Albert were a non-u75-approved commercial operation then there's no doubt that their position would be subject to much greater scrutiny than has been the case on this thread.

It reminds me a bit of the Plebgate affair where the majority of the u75 usual suspects sided with the police because it suited their preferred outcome from the story. Of course subsequently it became apparent that the police had indeed lied.


----------



## fredfelt (Feb 20, 2013)

teuchter said:


> If the Albert were a non-u75-approved commercial operation then there's no doubt that their position would be subject to much greater scrutiny than has been the case on this thread.
> 
> It reminds me a bit of the Plebgate affair where the majority of the u75 usual suspects sided with the police because it suited their preferred outcome from the story. Of course subsequently it became apparent that the police had indeed lied.


 
I've never been to the pub but the story sounds unlikely TBH.

If you are with a bunch of mates why would you approach a stranger to ask to borrow their phone?  Surely one of your friends has a phone you can use.


----------



## editor (Feb 20, 2013)

teuchter said:


> If the Albert were a non-u75-approved commercial operation then there's no doubt that their position would be subject to much greater scrutiny than has been the case on this thread.


People from urban75 _work there_. I think I'd rather take their word on this than that of a poster who has arrived here purely to post up a rather improbable sounding tale that is being met with some incredulity from regulars who know the pub well.


----------



## ddraig (Feb 20, 2013)

hey onky! why not go and start your own board, get your 'own pub', invite teuchter and lord it up with your correctness!
if this one is so shit, biased and has parameters too narrow for you like


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

ddraig said:


> hey onky! why not go and start your own board, get your 'own pub', invite teuchter and lord it up with your correctness!
> if this one is so shit, biased and has parameters too narrow for you like


 


This post is laughable on so many levels.

(((((((ddraig)))))))


----------



## ddraig (Feb 20, 2013)

Onket said:


> This post is laughable on so many levels.
> 
> (((((((ddraig)))))))


 you are a joke


----------



## T & P (Feb 20, 2013)

Well, even though the first few pages of the thread failed to take the bait laid by the (100% trolling) OP, it seems its creator has now achieved his/her goal.


----------



## editor (Feb 20, 2013)

T & P said:


> Well, even though the first few pages of the thread failed to take the bait laid by the (100% trolling) OP, it seems its creator has now achieved his/her goal.


Maybe. Or maybe the intention was to discredit the pub, start bad rumours and potentially cause problems for the licensee, in which case he has failed miserably.

Pubs are struggling enough as it is, and even if his story was true, posting it up on a public board rather than having a word with the landlord seems a very strange reaction, especially seeing as he claimed to be a regular there.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

editor said:


> Maybe. Or maybe the intention was to discredit the pub, start bad rumours and potentially cause problems for the licensee, in which case he has failed miserably.
> 
> Pubs are struggling enough as it is.


 
I suspect the intention was to post about something he saw in a pub in Brixton on a board that a straighforward google search shows to be where people post about things in Brixton.

Nah, couldn't possibly be that, could it!


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

ddraig said:


> you are a joke


 
Says the man who posts "hey onky! why not go and start your own board, get your 'own pub', invite teuchter and lord it up with your correctness! if this one is so shit, biased and has parameters too narrow for you like" 






*ddraig taking his ball and going home, earlier today*


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2013)

would you pub serve bacon sandwiches


----------



## editor (Feb 20, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> would you pub serve bacon sandwiches


That makes no sense.


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2013)

editor said:


> That makes no sense.


 
and?


----------



## kittyP (Feb 20, 2013)

editor said:


> That makes no sense.


 
Totally. I wanna know if it serves drugs!


----------



## editor (Feb 20, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> and?


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2013)

editor said:


>


----------



## ddraig (Feb 20, 2013)

nah, just not worth engaging with someone so pigheaded arrogant and CORRECT!
and trolling of course, teehee


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2013)




----------



## T & P (Feb 20, 2013)

Onket said:


> I suspect the intention was to post about something he saw in a pub in Brixton on a board that a straighforward google search shows to be where people post about things in Brixton.
> 
> Nah, couldn't possibly be that, could it!


It is, of course, possible. However it also is _extraordinarily_ unlikely, and very few people who are even vaguely familiar with internet message boards could possibly believe there is any likelihood of the OP being genuine.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

T & P said:


> It is, of course, possible. However it also is _extraordinarily_ unlikely, and very few people who are even vaguely familiar with internet message boards could possibly believe there is any likelihood of the OP being genuine.


 
Whether he is geniune isn't really here nor there though, is it.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

ddraig said:


> nah, just not worth engaging with someone so pigheaded arrogant and CORRECT!
> and trolling of course, teehee


 
Stop doing it then!


----------



## teuchter (Feb 20, 2013)

ddraig said:


> nah, just not worth engaging with someone so pigheaded arrogant and CORRECT!


 
I suspect the last thing Onket wants is for you to get all worked up like this. I certainly don't like to see it. I think you need to relax a bit.


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I suspect the last thing Onket wants is for you to get all worked up like this. I certainly don't like to see it. I think you need to relax a bit.


 
aye calm down its not like its about pork chops


----------



## ddraig (Feb 20, 2013)

i guess it is half term, not much for kids to do these days


----------



## Ted Striker (Feb 20, 2013)

No one said they were kids.


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

And more importantly, seeing as we now know nothing has been 'proved', can the meddling mod who changed the thread title now kindly change it back?


----------



## el-ahrairah (Feb 20, 2013)

how do we know that?  it seems pretty reasonable that badgers did tell wojtek about this and wojtek reviewed the tapes and concluded not.  that sounds like something that would have happened and badgers is pretty reliable.


----------



## ddraig (Feb 20, 2013)

Onket said:


> And more importantly, seeing as we now know nothing has been 'proved', can the meddling mod who changed the thread title now kindly change it back?


 why is it important? do you have any proof for your assertion(s)? 
or maybe you could put your grinding axe for the mods away


----------



## teuchter (Feb 20, 2013)

I think it's fair to say we can believe that Badgers told the management and we can believe that the management told Badgers that they had not found any evidence on the CCTV tapes.

This information in itself does not "prove" that the OP was lying. I think that's the point here.


----------



## Nanker Phelge (Feb 20, 2013)

I'd be more surprised if someone started a thread saying they had spent a Friday afternoon in the Albert and _no-one_ was doing drugs.


----------



## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2013)

tbf coke head are good for business if they behave themselves


always buying daft over priced surgery drinks..


----------



## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I think it's fair to say we can believe that Badgers told the management and we can believe that the management told Badgers that they had not found any evidence on the CCTV tapes.
> 
> This information in itself does not "prove" that the OP was lying. I think that's the point here.



Sadly I'm not at all surprised this actually has to be explained.


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## geminisnake (Feb 20, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> always buying daft over priced surgery drinks..


 
What's a surgery drink then? Does it cure all your ills??


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## Ax^ (Feb 20, 2013)

geminisnake said:


> What's a surgery drink then? Does it cure all your ills??





Drink filled with sugar even...


Jesus you anel retentive types cannie let even one slip by..


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## kittyP (Feb 20, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> Drink filled with sugar even...
> 
> 
> Jesus you anel retentive types cannie let even one slip by..


 
I didn't even query. I just thought it was something (like a Jagerbomb or summit) that the yoot were drinking


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## Hocus Eye. (Feb 20, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> Drink filled with sugar even...
> 
> 
> Jesus you anel retentive types cannie let even one slip by..


It's a placebo.

boom boom


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## happyshopper (Feb 20, 2013)

My working assumption is that anyone who joins Urban75 and then immediately starts a thread is a troll, unless and until it's proved otherwise.


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## Mrs Magpie (Feb 20, 2013)

...but some of them end up staying for years.


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## el-ahrairah (Feb 20, 2013)

Onket said:


> Sadly I'm not at all surprised this actually has to be explained.


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## teuchter (Feb 20, 2013)

Onket said:


> Sadly I'm not at all surprised this actually has to be explained.


It is. And it is a thankless task but we must soldier on regardless.


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## Onket (Feb 20, 2013)

happyshopper said:


> anyone who joins Urban75 and then immediately starts a thread is a troll, unless and until it's proved otherwise.



I think that's actually one of the FAQs.


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## fortyplus (Feb 21, 2013)

Urban at its finest on this thread


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## Winot (Feb 21, 2013)

fortyplus said:


> Urban at its finest on this thread


 
But nobody's mentioned food or gentrification yet!


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## Ax^ (Feb 21, 2013)

I mentioned pancakes and Bacon


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## Pickman's model (Feb 21, 2013)

Winot said:


> But nobody's mentioned food or gentrification yet!


gentrification's certainly been mentioned.


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## Winot (Feb 21, 2013)

In which case I stand corrected. 

How about racism?


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## Onket (Feb 21, 2013)

el-ahrairah said:


>


 
You racist cunt.


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## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Feb 21, 2013)

Winot said:


> In which case I stand corrected.
> 
> How about racism?


 
Brixton threads don't seem to be about racism as much as they used to be. I think the neo-anti-gentrifiers have pushed out the old anti-gentrifiers.


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## George & Bill (Feb 21, 2013)

ddraig said:


> you are a joke



There's something hilarious about this beng said, very angrily, in a welsh accent


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## ddraig (Feb 21, 2013)

i ain't no windsor davies!


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## Onket (Feb 21, 2013)

slowjoe said:


> There's something hilarious about this beng said, very angrily, in a welsh accent


 
You xenophobic cunt.


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## Sasaferrato (Feb 21, 2013)

19sixtysix said:


> Bet you Sasaferrato remembers having to wind the handle to ring the operator


 
Yes, as it happens, I do. Our number was Harris 25 at the time.

First time posting again for about a week, been ill with a horrendous chest infection, and just to add to my misery, I slipped in the shower and ricked my back.


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## 19sixtysix (Feb 21, 2013)

Sasaferrato said:


> Yes, as it happens, I do. Our number was Harris 25 at the time.


 
For some reason I can now picture Whisky Galore and Captain Wagget trying to telephone.



Get well soon BTW


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## Mrs Magpie (Feb 21, 2013)

Get well soon Sasaferrato, I hope you have a nice single malt to ease your situation.


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## Onket (Feb 21, 2013)

Sasaferrato said:


> been ill with a horrendous chest infection, and just to add to my misery, I slipped in the shower and ricked my back.


 
Ouch. Yes, get well soon.


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## Sasaferrato (Feb 21, 2013)

Thanks all. I'm back at work, but coming home and going to my pit. I suppose I finally have to admit I'm not 21 any more.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 21, 2013)

Sasaferrato said:


> Yes, as it happens, I do. Our number was Harris 25 at the time.
> 
> First time posting again for about a week, been ill with a horrendous chest infection, and just to add to my misery, I slipped in the shower and ricked my back.


 
Ouch!  Don't you have a shower mat?  They're ugly, but they tend to do the job


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## kittyP (Feb 21, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Ouch! Don't you have a shower mat? They're ugly, but they tend to do the job


 
Thank god it's not just me. 
I get manic about shower mats and people take the piss out of me. 

I have fucking slipped in the shower (with out a mat) and had to have the door broken in to get me out as I have a very dodgy back and could not move


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 21, 2013)

I once slid getting out the bath and scraped my back down a cupboard.  Still got the scars


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## kittyP (Feb 21, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> I once slid getting out the bath and scraped my back down a cupboard. Still got the scars


 
ooooohhhhh


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 21, 2013)

kittyP said:


> ooooohhhhh


 
Ex b/f heard the crash and came dashing in to find me in the bath with lots of blood


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## Ax^ (Feb 21, 2013)

kittyP said:


> Thank god it's not just me.
> I get manic about shower mats and people take the piss out of me.
> 
> I have fucking slipped in the shower (with out a mat) and had to have the door broken in to get me out as I have a very dodgy back and could not move


 


Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Ex b/f heard the crash and came dashing in to find me in the bath with lots of blood


 
You both should be glad  that you were not dating a paralympian at the time..


you would of got 4 gunshoots thru the door


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 21, 2013)

Now that's a point.  Maybe the loo floor was wet and she slid over and banged her head and was therefore too knocked out to hear him!

Totally unlikely though


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## Greebo (Feb 21, 2013)

Sasaferrato said:


> <snip>I suppose I finally have to admit I'm not 21 any more.


You're not 90 yet, either. A bad chest infection plus the side effects of antibiotics is enough to knock the stuffing out of anyone; add on back pain and it'd make even Chio feel old. Get well soon.


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## cuppa tee (Feb 21, 2013)

misread the thread title and thought it was about hipsters........


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## teuchter (Feb 22, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> I once slid getting out the bath and scraped my back down a cupboard. Still got the scars


I once slipped on the kitchen floor running in with wet feet due to trying to have a shower and cook dinner concurrently.


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## editor (Feb 22, 2013)

teuchter said:


> This information in itself does not "prove" that the OP was lying. I think that's the point here.


I spoke to the landlord who went through the CCTV footage. There was no group of "chav scum" in the back garden.

The only people who were drinking in the back garden that afternoon were regulars who clearly would be very, very known to any supposed "regular" who had been going to the Albert for "twenty years."


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## Onket (Feb 22, 2013)

Like a dog with a bone.


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## Brixton Hatter (Feb 22, 2013)

i thought this thread would have been in the bin by now, given it contains libellous comments in the OP.

Can't we just get rid of it?

last in


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## Onket (Feb 22, 2013)

Don't be silly, it should be a sticky to remind everyone of what happens if someone says a bad thing about something the editor likes.


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## Onket (Feb 22, 2013)

teuchter said:


> This information in itself does not "prove" that the OP was lying. I think that's the point here.


 


editor said:


> I spoke to the landlord who went through the CCTV footage. There was no group of "chav scum" in the back garden.
> 
> The only people who were drinking in the back garden that afternoon were regulars who clearly would be very, very known to any supposed "regular" who had been going to the Albert for "twenty years."


 
^This doesn't prove the OP was lying either. 

True to U75 form, certain words and phrases have been picked out and torn to bits, the poster has been mocked for not being 'Brixton' enough, and the original point has been ignored.

It's a classic.


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## teuchter (Feb 22, 2013)

It is reassuring to hear that the Albert's CCTV is of a quality that allows chav-scum to be distinguished from non-chav-scum.


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## editor (Feb 22, 2013)

teuchter said:


> It is reassuring to hear that the Albert's CCTV is of a quality that allows chav-scum to be distinguished from non-chav-scum.


It can certainly distinguish when no one is there. Who are you calling scum, by the way?


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## Pickman's model (Feb 22, 2013)

teuchter said:


> It is reassuring to hear that the Albert's CCTV is of a quality that allows chav-scum to be distinguished from non-chav-scum.


1) the albert's cctv will be of a standard determined by the metropolitan police;
2) by non-chav scum I suppose you mean yuppies or other gentrifiers.


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## ViolentPanda (Feb 22, 2013)

Sasaferrato said:


> Thanks all. I'm back at work, but coming home and going to my pit. I suppose I finally have to admit I'm not 21 any more.


 
You haven't been 21 since Boudicca sacked Colchester.


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## Sasaferrato (Feb 22, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> You haven't been 21 since Boudicca sacked Colchester.


 
I recall you being right there with me on the day.


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## Sasaferrato (Feb 22, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Ouch! Don't you have a shower mat? They're ugly, but they tend to do the job


 
It was the bloody mat that did for me! The suckery things weren't suckering terribly well. There is a new one in situ now.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 22, 2013)

Sasaferrato said:


> It was the bloody mat that did for me! The suckery things weren't suckering terribly well. There is a new one in situ now.


 


Demand your money back!


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## Onket (Feb 22, 2013)

editor said:


> The only people who were drinking in the back garden that afternoon were regulars





editor said:


> It can certainly distinguish when no one is there.


 
 Make your mind up.


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## Sasaferrato (Feb 22, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Demand your money back!


 
I suspect the culprit was Mrs Sas, who had been in the shower just before me, and had washed and conditioned her hair.


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## Kanda (Feb 22, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> From my pub days and evil trick to pull on punters is to spray any surface that can be snorted from with a coating of wd40,
> 
> 
> If sniffed from this will lead to a nose bleed, which can be amusing watching people leaving the jacks whilst trying o act casual like ..


 
They do this in most of the Bars in Milton Keynes to out people. Nosebleed = Barred.


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## ddraig (Feb 22, 2013)

don't they do lasagne in the albert or something?


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## artyfarty (Feb 22, 2013)

ddraig said:


> don't they do lasagne in the albert or something?


£3.99. first item on the menu...


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 22, 2013)

Kanda said:


> They do this in most of the Bars in Milton Keynes to out people. Nosebleed = Barred.


 


What if you were one of those types of people that just gets nosebleeds really easily?

(I did in my youth)


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## Ax^ (Feb 22, 2013)

Kanda said:


> They do this in most of the Bars in Milton Keynes to out people. Nosebleed = Barred.


 
aye tbh the only reason i ever started doing is we had a racist fuckbag of a coke dealer take up residency in the pub i was working in at the time and we were facing closure..


tbh the wd40 thing did not even work..

we managed to barr him when coked off his tits he thought it would be funny to walk out of the jacks stark ballock naked


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## Ted Striker (Feb 22, 2013)

editor said:


> I spoke to the landlord who went through the CCTV footage. There was no group of "chav scum" in the back garden.
> 
> The only people who were drinking in the back garden that afternoon were regulars who clearly would be very, very known to any supposed "regular" who had been going to the Albert for "twenty years."


 


editor said:


> It can certainly distinguish when no one is there. Who are you calling scum, by the way?


 
The same people you are?!


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## Kanda (Feb 22, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> What if you were one of those types of people that just gets nosebleeds really easily?
> 
> (I did in my youth)


 
They search you obviously.


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## ddraig (Feb 22, 2013)

artyfarty said:


> £3.99. first item on the menu...


ta
must not be of a sufficient standard for our dear troll defender and one man army against the tide of mod oppression i guess


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 22, 2013)

Kanda said:


> They search you obviously.


 
Internally? 

Not sure that's allowed


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## Ted Striker (Feb 22, 2013)

Kanda said:


> They search you obviously.


 
Of all the grim scenario's getting frisked by a officious security guard post skanky chisel line with a bleeding nose in a Yates in Milton Keynes...If the hell/heaven thing is to be believed, then that must surely be it?


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## Nanker Phelge (Feb 22, 2013)

I was in the Albert beer 'yard' yesterday and saw this band of troublesome gentrifiers wolfing down snacks and beverages from their own basket!

At one point they were browsing a 'Foxtons' brochure......


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## editor (Feb 22, 2013)

Ted Striker said:


> The same people you are?!


I haven't called anyone 'scum.'


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## Ax^ (Feb 22, 2013)

this thread is just making me think that you are going to have to get manter barred from the albert


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## Onket (Feb 22, 2013)

ddraig said:


> ta
> must not be of a sufficient standard for our dear troll defender and one man army against the tide of mod oppression i guess


 
Jesus wept.  You are a complete waste of space, aren't you.


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## ddraig (Feb 22, 2013)

Onket said:


> Jesus wept.  You are a complete waste of space, aren't you.


 do you mean that or not? 
can't tell with the extra smiley at the end


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## Onket (Feb 22, 2013)

I'm laughing at you, and your pathetic excuses for posts.


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## ddraig (Feb 22, 2013)

Onket said:


> I'm laughing at you, and your pathetic excuses for posts.


 awww, the "laughing" defence!
you're the one getting abusive init   etc


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## Ax^ (Feb 22, 2013)

ddraig said:


> awww, the "laughing" defence!
> you're the one getting abusive init   etc


 
the usage of smileys in a post


you troll


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## Onket (Feb 22, 2013)

ddraig said:


> awww, the "laughing" defence!
> you're the one getting abusive init   etc


 
Abuse?!


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## ddraig (Feb 22, 2013)

Onket said:


> Abuse?!


 teehee


----------



## teuchter (Feb 22, 2013)

editor said:


> It can certainly distinguish when no one is there. Who are you calling scum, by the way?


I would certainly never call anyone "scum." As I think most readers can understand, I was referring to the landlord's choice of categorisations.


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## Pickman's model (Feb 22, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I would certainly never call anyone "scum."


why not?


----------



## kittyP (Feb 22, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I would certainly never call anyone "scum." As I think most readers can understand, I was referring to the landlord's choice of categorisations.


You know full well it was not the choice of the landlords wording it was the OP's. 
God you lot are a wind up.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Feb 22, 2013)

I'd like to be a fly on the wall watching them all have a few pints together


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## teuchter (Feb 22, 2013)

kittyP said:


> You know full well it was not the choice of the landlords wording it was the OP's.
> God you lot are a wind up.


I had understood that the landlord had viewed the CCTV footage and determined that there was no group of "chav scum" in the garden.


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## teuchter (Feb 23, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> why not?


I am insufficiently judgemental, hate-fueled and simple-minded.


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## co-op (Feb 23, 2013)

Not sure what people are trying to prove on this thread. Over the (30) years I lived in Brixton or nearby I don't think there's a pub I've been in where I haven't noticed the occasional bit of trying-on by some punters with drugs whether it's buying/selling/using, a few pubs got pretty open and ended up getting closed down (remember the Duke of Edinburgh and The Plug being the most blatant in their heyday - or the old Atlantic of course!). Most landlords/staff are pretty good at spotting it and sorting it out because it always ends up shitting up the vibe eventually. Been drinking (as a visitor, never a regular) in the Albert for decades, last time I was in was two weekends ago on a Saturday night, used the garden loads because I smoke and it's clear you don't get gangs of lads in there bashing powders openly, I've literally never seen it once.


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## teuchter (Feb 23, 2013)

I've seen people openly drinking excessive quantities of alcohol in pubs in Brixton, on occasion actively encouraged to do so by the proprietors and their staff.


----------



## co-op (Feb 23, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I've seen people openly drinking excessive quantities of alcohol in pubs in Brixton, on occasion actively encouraged to do so by the proprietors and their staff.


 
 I call bullshit.


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## editor (Feb 23, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I had understood that the landlord had viewed the CCTV footage and determined that there was no group of "chav scum" in the garden.


The footage established that there was no group of people fitting the description given by the OP in the garden at the claimed time.

The only people in the garden were a few regulars who would be very well known to anyone claiming to be a regular there themselves.

I hope that clears things up for you.


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## Ax^ (Feb 23, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I had understood that the landlord had viewed the CCTV footage and determined that there was no group of "chav scum" in the garden.



Brixtons become far to gentrified to have roaming gangs of chav scum in its beer gardens


----------



## editor (Feb 23, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I would certainly never call anyone "scum." As I think most readers can understand, I was referring to the landlord's choice of categorisations.


Get your facts straight. The landlord didn't call them 'scum'. That was the bullshitting OP.


----------

