# Bristol / South West forum lurkers, reveal yourselves!



## munkeeunit (May 4, 2006)

We know you're watching us you lovely lurkers. We see your names at the bottom of the screen, and wonder who you are.

We've got a few events coming up, like the BoNk Hol WeeKenD FuN! and the Ashton Court meet up.  

Why not introduce yourselves here? If you get all red faced and embarrassed no one will notice. 

You can say a quick hello and then run off and hide under the table.

Or if you just like lurking and watching that's fine too. Whatever rocks your boat, but it would still be great if you said hello.  

If you don't say hello I'll feel all embarrassed myself, and thoroughly inadequate as an exposer of lurkers, and you don't want that, do you?


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## JTG (May 4, 2006)

Hello

I'm JTG. Live in Bristol. Don't post very often though, I'm shy


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## munkeeunit (May 4, 2006)

JTG said:
			
		

> Hello
> 
> I'm JTG. Live in Bristol. Don't post very often though, I'm shy



You're not a lurker. You're a massively posting maniac. MPM for short.


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## DaveCinzano (May 4, 2006)

munkeeunit said:
			
		

> You're not a lurker. You're a massively posting maniac. MPM for short.



a victim of c.p.s. if you don't mind


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## munkeeunit (May 4, 2006)

There is no c.p.s listed in your otherwise disturbingly extensive alphabetical universe of things.


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## DaveCinzano (May 4, 2006)

yes there is


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## munkeeunit (May 4, 2006)

There is now...

"Last edited by bristle-krs : 04-05-2006 at 11:46 PM."  

Admittedly your definition is more clinically accurate, but mine would sound much better slipped into a rap with a strong, steady baseline beneath it.


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## DaveCinzano (May 4, 2006)

it must have been hacked


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## munkeeunit (May 4, 2006)

by someone called bristle-krs too. spooky.


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## DaveCinzano (May 4, 2006)

that's what _they_ want you to think...

lurkers! beware! it's a trap!


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## munkeeunit (May 4, 2006)

bristle-krs said:
			
		

> that's what _they_ want you to think...
> 
> lurkers! beware! it's a trap!



Don't scare the lurkers  

Or maybe it's a double bluff.

What are you scared of you lurkers?

Us?


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## fizzerbird (May 5, 2006)

Maybe the lurkers will turn up for the festivities, but just sit outside the group watching, listening but not contributing...


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## gentlegreen (May 5, 2006)

fizzerbird said:
			
		

> Maybe the lurkers will turn up for the festivities, but just sit outside the group watching, listening but not contributing...


imbibing the _zeitgeist _by osmosis innit  (I vote we demand a nerdy smiley that looks suspiciously like Michael Caine)

.


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## Dru (May 5, 2006)

Lurk? -like, yeeuuurk. I prefer to think of myself as someone-who-hasn't-really-posted-very-much. Anyway, hello. Intro: I live in ungenteel poverty by the Downs. I have a bicycle and an unwieldy collection of kitchen stuff. I ran away to sea once, and now I've run back again and am picking up the pieces. Hence my presence here. Seems like a nice place.

(goes red and dashes off to make coffee)


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## cyberfairy (May 5, 2006)

Hello Dru I have unweildy kitchen utensils too due to a mother obsessed with carboot sales-Do you have three sandwhich toasters, five mug trees, a popcorn maker, a spectacularly dangerous candyfloss maker, a steamer, three microwaves, a blender you can put yr hand in when its going and  twentish cafietieres in bits? 
Nice to see you anyway


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## Dru (May 5, 2006)

Candyfloss maker? -God's teeth, that sounds dangerous...  

I used to be puritanically manual with my stuff; lots of big mouli-legume type things suspended about the place, like one of those John Minton piccies in Elizabeth David. The rot set in when I found a Kenwood Major and all its accessories in a skip (very Westbury Park  ) and was seduced into the Electric Age. 

Still don't have a breadmaker, mind...

Thanks for the welcome


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## Yetman (May 5, 2006)

Erm...hi! erm....god I'm terrible at these! Well....erm...this is my first time at anything like this so please er excuse my erm well anyway! My name is yetman, I'mg..sorry..I'll start again, anyway I'm yet OH FUCK I JUST CANT DO THIS!! *legs it in tears knocking chairs and stuff over*


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## Yetman (May 5, 2006)

*tiptoes back in sheepishly to retrieve bag of shopping*


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## Iam (May 5, 2006)

*points at Yetman*


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## astral (May 5, 2006)

do I still count as a lurker or have I graduated to an occasional poster status yet?


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## Derian (May 5, 2006)

I'm a lurking hanger-on


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## munkeeunit (May 5, 2006)

Dru said:
			
		

> Lurk? -like, yeeuuurk. I prefer to think of myself as someone-who-hasn't-really-posted-very-much. Anyway, hello. Intro: I live in ungenteel poverty by the Downs. I have a bicycle and an unwieldy collection of kitchen stuff. I ran away to sea once, and now I've run back again and am picking up the pieces. Hence my presence here. Seems like a nice place.
> 
> (goes red and dashes off to make coffee)



Yay! Hi Dru. I now consider myself a successful exposer of lurkers.  

Your description of yourself as having a 'bicycle and an unwieldly collection of kitchen stuff' sounds like you fit in just nicely with many of the people on here.

I have neither, by the way, but am sympathetic to the curious way in which the two things seem to be related.


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## munkeeunit (May 5, 2006)

astral said:
			
		

> do I still count as a lurker or have I graduated to an occasional poster status yet?



You are defintely not a lurker. You post more than one post per day. 

I guess what we're looking for is those with around 0.1 daily posting averages.


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## LX365 (May 5, 2006)

Ok - I'm another one.  I'm only good at posting announcements and get embarrassed at posting anything personal 

Anyway hello, have retired to sunny Falmouth from London and am very happy here...


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## fractionMan (May 5, 2006)

*lurks*


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## munkeeunit (May 5, 2006)

LX365 said:
			
		

> Ok - I'm another one.  I'm only good at posting announcements and get embarrassed at posting anything personal
> 
> Anyway hello, have retired to sunny Falmouth from London and am very happy here...



Hi LX365. A long term lurker too  

I used to mainly post announcements here, but got sucked into the mentalness and eventually, to my surprise, found myself as a major provocateur in the war against the Welsh, which you no doubt watched.

Next time we're at war we'll need all you lurkers to come out the woodwork and join with us. Post anything you like. Absolute nonsense, and fabricated timely announcements, are most welcome.


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## munkeeunit (May 5, 2006)

fractionMan said:
			
		

> *lurks*



You are definitely not a lurker with your 3.64-posts-per-day-posting-average.

It may suddenly be fashionable to be a lurker, but only genuine lurkers with 0.1 posting averages, or thereabouts, need apply.


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## astral (May 5, 2006)

munkeeunit said:
			
		

> You are defintely not a lurker. You post more than one post per day.
> 
> I guess what we're looking for is those with around 0.1 daily posting averages.



fine.  if you don't want me I shall go and lurk in the welsh forum.


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## Poot (May 5, 2006)

Is there anyone loitering around the Plymouth area?

You! Yes you! Hiding behind that bollard on the Barbican! I can see you!  

Well, it was worth a try. I swear to God there are loads of Janners here it's just that no one's willing to admit to it....


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## munkeeunit (May 5, 2006)

Yetman said:
			
		

> Erm...hi! erm....god I'm terrible at these! Well....erm...this is my first time at anything like this so please er excuse my erm well anyway! My name is yetman, I'mg..sorry..I'll start again, anyway I'm yet OH FUCK I JUST CANT DO THIS!! *legs it in tears knocking chairs and stuff over*



You're not a real lurker either you fake lurker you.  

Honestly. Anyone with a 2.29 posting average who wants to be a lurker, will need now not to post until about 2010, at a guess, to bring your average down to lurking status.


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## munkeeunit (May 5, 2006)

astral said:
			
		

> fine.  if you don't want me I shall go and lurk in the welsh forum.



They'll expose you as a fake-fashionable-jumping-on-the-lurking-bandwagon-non-lurker too.


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## Streathamite (May 5, 2006)

bristle-krs said:
			
		

> a victim of c.p.s. if you don't mind


I've just seen my entry in there!


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## munkeeunit (May 7, 2006)

*bump*

we can see you


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## munkeeunit (May 10, 2006)

*bump* 

We can still see you  

(seems to be catching the odd person still, even if they don't post directly onto this thread.)


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## 3_D (May 10, 2006)

Even though I'm from Bristol and no one here knows me I'm not actually a lurker because I rarely come on this site and I only saw this thread in passing on the way back from the football forum after the UEFA Cup Final where Middlesboro lost 4-0 and anyway I only remember to even visit this site about once every 2 or 3 months so howthefuckcanIbealurker???

And...breath...............

So yeah.


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## munkeeunit (May 10, 2006)

3_D said:
			
		

> Even though I'm from Bristol and no one here knows me I'm not actually a lurker because I rarely come on this site and I only saw this thread in passing on the way back from the football forum after the UEFA Cup Final where Middlesboro lost 4-0 and anyway I only remember to even visit this site about once every 2 or 3 months so howthefuckcanIbealurker???
> 
> And...breath...............
> 
> So yeah.



I knicked the thread off the Welsh. It's all their fault. Blame them. 

Also, you're just above the unofficial lurking status, which is a 0.1 posting average or less.


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## tom_craggs (May 10, 2006)

I hope I don't lurk so much as keep a restrained distance... 

I am from North Cadbury in Somerset (although not there often anymore sadly) which....forms the point of a nice Eastwardly pointing triangle with Yeovil (....) and Glastonbury as the other two points...in case you wondered.


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## munkeeunit (May 10, 2006)

Hi Tom, you're another of those border line lurkers with a 0.35 a day posting average, so you're probably right that it's more of a restrained distance you're keeping.  

You've also been here for a good year longer than me, so if for some reason I fall into a coma, or restrain my distance, my posting average my yet fall too, but at the moment I'm an active Urbanite on a mission to bring the lurkers out of the Urban woodwork.


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## 3_D (May 10, 2006)

I'm concerned about these so called 'posting averages' of which you speak. Where are you getting them from, what do you mean, and how come we low-volume-posters are suddenly cast as "lurkers" like some kind of scum pox-ridden underclass???? Huh?

Aaaaaanyway.........anyone see the Boro game?


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## munkeeunit (May 10, 2006)

I told you it's the all the fault of the Welsh.  

You can check people's profiles by clicking on their username.

Nice to chat to you anyway, which is the real point of this thread if you hadn't realised.


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## djbombscare (May 11, 2006)

Hi. . .I'm . .  a first time poster. 


















but I listen to the show everyday and just like to say I think your great  















Can I get your autograph please ?


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## gentlegreen (May 11, 2006)

3_D said:
			
		

> I'm concerned about these so called 'posting averages' of which you speak. Where are you getting them from, what do you mean, and how come we low-volume-posters are suddenly cast as "lurkers" like some kind of scum pox-ridden underclass???? Huh?


Next upgrade, perhaps we could have some more stats - such as how much time people actually spend reading the boards and how widely.
It's just that in the extreme case you get people who join urban just to ask a question in the drugs forum ....

.


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## munkeeunit (May 11, 2006)

djbombscare said:
			
		

> Hi. . .I'm . .  a first time poster.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




These non-lurking-jumping-on-the-lurking-bandwagon-regulars now that lurking is fashionable, really are clogging up this thread


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## munkeeunit (May 11, 2006)

gentlegreen said:
			
		

> Next upgrade, perhaps we could have some more stats - such as how much time people actually spend reading the boards and how widely.
> It's just that in the extreme case you get people who join urban just to ask a question in the drugs forum ....
> 
> .



Hmmm. interesting idea, but that's starts sounding a bit more like Urban75-Big-Brother-Is-Watching-You.  

As it stands winding the lurkers up a little by calling them lurkers, seems to be good enough to get them to post, even if they are a little annoyed at being called lurkers (which I still protest the Welsh started and it's all their fault.)


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## nellyphant (May 12, 2006)

astral said:
			
		

> fine.  if you don't want me I shall go and lurk in the welsh forum.


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## Miscellaneous (May 12, 2006)

I am a semi-lurker.


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## munkeeunit (May 12, 2006)

A 2.28 daily posting average is definitely not semi-lurking. 

(but then who appointed me the overlord of lurking definitions?, uh, me  )

Hello Miscellaneous and Nellyphant.

Don't go Astral, we love you really, even if you're not a proper lurker.


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## Zaskar (May 12, 2006)

I dint think a low rate, sub 1 lurking levels is in any way concerning.  The high numbers give me pause for thought sometimes.

I think of a post as a unit of alcohol.  28 a week, 4 a day, and you are unlikely to damage your health or anyone elses.

Above that there are health considerations and addiction is possible for many when you go over 10 to 15 a day.  Those posting at this level may be unalbe to get up in the morning without a quick post to get them going.

This problem posting can cause irrational behaviour, mood swings and some quite unpleasent antics at times.


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## munkeeunit (May 12, 2006)

For the record, the unofficial lurking status (approved and certified by me alone)  is a 0.1 dailing posting average or less. Anything marginally above that and below a 1 post a day average is semi-lurking, and you may volunteer yourselves as a lurker.

Anything above 1 a day is not lurking, except I have sown understandable confusion by atempting to expose 'Bristol / South West Forum' lurkers. This is leading some who lurk in the BSW forum, but who post highly elswhere to reveal themselves as a lurker, even though their posting average suggests otherwise.

I apologise for this confusion and assure you all that I am pumping billions into reseacrhing this phenomena in the hope of resolving this anomaly sometime soon. In the meantime if you are in anyway concerned that you may be a lurker, please feel free to post on this thread an we will analyse your lurking status thouroughly.


Thanks very much.


Munkeeunit.


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## thefuse (May 13, 2006)

dont think im a lurker but i dont come into this section much.
have just moved back to somerset from devon so i feel a bit more central now
and more able to attend things that might be going on.
when's the ashton court meet btw?


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## rubbershoes (May 13, 2006)

thefuse said:
			
		

> have just moved back to somerset from devon



steady on there fella


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## thefuse (May 13, 2006)

rubbershoes said:
			
		

> steady on there fella


theres a world of difference


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## munkeeunit (May 14, 2006)

Hello thefuse.

'I came, I saw, I left.' 

Did you now. Come again anytime


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## gentlegreen (May 14, 2006)

munkeeunit said:
			
		

> Hello thefuse.
> 
> 'I came, I saw, I left.'
> 
> Did you now. Come again anytime


veni, vidi, _exeunt _?

(I took  German instead of Latin at school)

.


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## thefuse (May 14, 2006)

munkeeunit said:
			
		

> Hello thefuse.
> 
> 'I came, I saw, I left.'
> 
> Did you now. Come again anytime


well i tend to do a lot of coming and going 
thanks for the invite btw


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## munkeeunit (May 26, 2006)

*one more bump for luck*

Each bump seems to attract a couple more lurkers to the Bristol / South West Urban honey pot.  

So one more bump can't hurt...


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## xenon (May 30, 2006)

Hello.
I like to lurk hither and thither. 

I hope that's OK.


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## munkeeunit (May 30, 2006)

xenon_2 said:
			
		

> Hello.
> I like to lurk hither and thither.
> 
> I hope that's OK.



Yes, lurking is this years latest fashion, so best to be doing it while it's the in thing.


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## fractionMan (May 31, 2006)

I was lurking _before_ it was fashionable.


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## xenon (May 31, 2006)

When does a lurk become a loiter though? And which is more sinister?


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## munkeeunit (May 31, 2006)

xenon_2 said:
			
		

> When does a lurk become a loiter though? And which is more sinister?



lurkers are passive.
loiters are passive aggresive.

How do we tell the difference?

We coax them into revealing themselves on threads like this, then we probe their brains with urban mind tricks.

So far you only registered on our geiger counter as a lurker, but that you've raised the question of loitering is itself suspicious, and you now register as a potential loiter, while still only lurking.


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## oooomegrapes (Jun 2, 2006)

munkeeunit said:
			
		

> For the record, the unofficial lurking status (approved and certified by me alone)  is a 0.1 dailing posting average or less. Anything marginally above that and below a 1 post a day average is semi-lurking, and you may volunteer yourselves as a lurker.
> 
> Anything above 1 a day is not lurking, except I have sown understandable confusion by atempting to expose 'Bristol / South West Forum' lurkers. This is leading some who lurk in the BSW forum, but who post highly elswhere to reveal themselves as a lurker, even though their posting average suggests otherwise.
> 
> ...


but were you at the exmouth festival??????? I THINK NOT! so, there you have it, point proven (possibly????????)

who could say?!?!?!?


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## munkeeunit (Jun 2, 2006)

oooomegrapes said:
			
		

> but were you at the exmouth festival??????? I THINK NOT! so, there you have it, point proven (possibly????????)
> 
> who could say?!?!?!?



I am dumbfounded.  

What can I say.  

oooomegrapes


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## big eejit (Jun 2, 2006)

Hello 

My stats make me look like a lurker (4 posts in a year!) but the truth is I just don't come here much. Maybe I'm a remote lurker?


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## munkeeunit (Jun 2, 2006)

big eejit said:
			
		

> Hello
> 
> My stats make me look like a lurker (4 posts in a year!) but the truth is I just don't come here much. Maybe I'm a remote lurker?



you are a lurker, and the first steps to recovery are admitting to that.

Well done


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## AndyO'C (Jun 15, 2006)

Hi there south west lot,

I'm sure i must have lurker status, but again I don't really have the time to spend online.

U75 is a top place for info, and i have found out tons, just not said a lot.
Quick intro - live in a village not far from Exeter, came down from Reading 3 years back, did some gardening and working with homeless, just had a baby and plan to look after him full time (so, even less time to muck about in here)


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## fortunesfool (Jun 15, 2006)

Pretty sure I've got lurker status. As said above Urban is great for info and love the Suburban section, especially when I get a garden to play with in the next couple of months. More frequently post on efests, but come on here most days too.

P.S. Hellooooo grapes x


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## fractionMan (Jun 16, 2006)

fortunesfool said:
			
		

> Pretty sure I've got lurker status. As said above Urban is great for info and love the Suburban section, especially when I get a garden to play with in the next couple of months. More frequently post on efests, but come on here most days too.
> 
> P.S. Hellooooo grapes x



hey hey hey, another bathonite.


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## munkeeunit (Jun 16, 2006)

AndyO'C said:
			
		

> Hi there south west lot,
> 
> I'm sure i must have lurker status, but again I don't really have the time to spend online.
> 
> ...



Hi AndyO'C

With a posting average of 0.05 posts per day, you are definitely a lurker.

We do try very hard to allow mitigating lurking circumstances, and do offer those with a posting average of 0.1 and 1 posts per day to volunteer themselves as a lurker, but at 0.05 I don't think there's yet a precedent to officially delurkify your lurking status.

Which is why we've made it fashionable to lurk  

Even if we can't find a way of delurkifying your status, we can at least make it fashionable.


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## atomik (Jun 16, 2006)

I've been known to lurk from time to time.


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## tiki (Jun 19, 2006)

Hey there,

Always pop in to see what's happening. Born and bred Bristollian, left when I was 18 and haven't been back since (18 years later). I often find myself reminiscing and wondering how much it's changed.


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## gloryhornetgirl (Jun 19, 2006)

tiki said:
			
		

> Hey there,
> 
> Always pop in to see what's happening. Born and bred Bristollian, left when I was 18 and haven't been back since (18 years later). I often find myself reminiscing and wondering how much it's changed.



It's changed a lot - you wouldn't recognise the docks (now 'Harbourside').
You should pay a visit!


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## munkeeunit (Jun 23, 2006)

atomik said:
			
		

> I've been known to lurk from time to time.



Hi atomik,

statistically you are just above the undeniably lurker labellable lurking threshold, 

so your 'lurk from time to time' self diagnosis appears to be correct.


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## space-hopper (Jun 26, 2006)

i think i'm oldskool lurker


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## munkeeunit (Jun 27, 2006)

space-hopper said:
			
		

> i think i'm oldskool lurker



well fashionable


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## nellyphant (Jun 28, 2006)

I think I'm more of a listener than a lurker.

Just looked at my profile and I'm averaging 0.18 posts a day which is pretty poor!!  

I promise I'll try harder


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## gentlegreen (Jun 28, 2006)

nellyphant said:
			
		

> I think I'm more of a listener than a lurker.
> 
> Just looked at my profile and I'm averaging 0.18 posts a day which is pretty poor!!
> 
> I promise I'll try harder


I'm embarassed to say that since 99.99 percent of my posts have been in the past year, my daily average is almost 100 times yours  

.


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