# Viz, the monthly review



## DotCommunist (Jun 7, 2015)

A goldmine this month. I'm starting this thread in the hope that other Viz readers will weigh in to discuss. The nakedly classist stuff like tasha slappa and so on grates heavily, but my god when it's good, it's good. This month has 'Panbusters' (I literaly wept salt tears of laughter) a one-off dambuster spoof and Finbarr and an excellent full page Terry Fuckwit strip.

I identify with Terry Fuckwit sometimes.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 7, 2015)

*makes note to buy latest Viz*

Viz is excellent 

Still smashing it in the internet era


----------



## Favelado (Jun 7, 2015)

About 20 year ago Viz did a spoof phone sex advertisement about chefs which made me cry with laughter for about 30 minutes. I was left on the floor spent when the howling finally finished.

The Onion still does this to me too from time to time.


----------



## maomao (Jun 7, 2015)

Would be nice if we could get a thread on Viz without someone being surprised that it's still going. Would be even nicer if regular readers could pick out a few faves on a regular basis.

I've read almost every issue since 1989ish, was the only thing I insisted on having sent out to me during 4 years in China. Will not be cancelling my subscription any time soon as it's the only genuinely funny periodical on offer these days (it pisses all over the chortling public school wank that constitutes the Private Eye funny section).

Was a bit miffed at this month's issue featuring both Tasha Slappa and Mobility Scooter Woman which are just crap. (I don't mind something like 8 Ace which is often genuinely funny but those two strips are just cheap and nasty). However there's still some genuine classy humour in there. Will try to dig out a couple of recent classics to get the ball rolling as soon as I get a couple of days off work.


----------



## maomao (Jun 7, 2015)

Favelado said:


> About 20 year ago Viz did a spoof phone sex advertisement about chefs which made me cry with laughter for about 30 minutes. I was left on the floor spent when the howling finally finished.
> 
> The Onion still does this to me too from time to time.


5 years ago I spent most of two days in my bathroom with what can only have been amoebic dyssentry and ten years worth of Viz. Considering the pain and discomfort I was in it's a surprisingly happy memory and I seemed to spend most of the time laughing.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 7, 2015)

The Modern Parents is a wonderful bit of satire that all middle class people should be forced to read before they're allowed to have kids.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 7, 2015)




----------



## Voley (Jun 8, 2015)




----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 8, 2015)

Them pisstakes of franklin mint tat are great. I think my fave was the diorama of Diana and Jade Goody playing tennis in heaven


----------



## BigMoaner (Jun 8, 2015)

SpookyFrank said:


> The Modern Parents is a wonderful bit of satire that all middle class people should be forced to read before they're allowed to have kids.


especially london ones.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Jun 8, 2015)

My all time fave...
http://viz.co.uk/mickeys-monkey-spunk-moped/


----------



## og ogilby (Jun 8, 2015)

I've just subscribed to Viz thanks to this thread. I used to read it every month until my eyes started to strain at some of the small print, but now I have glasses I'm good to go again.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 8, 2015)

Favelado said:


> About 20 year ago Viz did a *spoof phone sex advertisement *about chefs which made me cry with laughter for about 30 minutes. I was left on the floor spent when the howling finally finished.
> 
> The Onion still does this to me too from time to time.



a classic of the genre:


----------



## killer b (Jun 8, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> Them pisstakes of franklin mint tat are great. I think my fave was the diorama of Diana and Jade Goody playing tennis in heaven


this is mine.


----------



## killer b (Jun 8, 2015)

there's some classics on this flickr page: https://www.flickr.com/photos/norbet/sets/72157626944431809/detail/


----------



## ringo (Jun 8, 2015)




----------



## ringo (Jun 8, 2015)




----------



## motsy (Jun 8, 2015)

I had  a budgie a bit like Bertie Blunt's parrot- it was a bit gobby and didn't give a shit about who it bit.


----------



## billy_bob (Jun 8, 2015)

ringo said:


> View attachment 72473



I've just had a look on google to post exactly that one. Fuckin class.


----------



## billy_bob (Jun 8, 2015)

"In-shrub self abuser"


----------



## maomao (Jun 8, 2015)

billy_bob said:


> "In-shrub self abuser"


That's one of my all time faves. There was a brilliant one with teaching jobs too.


----------



## Voley (Jun 8, 2015)




----------



## Voley (Jun 8, 2015)

I've just subscribed again, too.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 8, 2015)

Voley said:


>





> Why is it whenever anything is on CrimeWatch it's all 'can you identify these super blurry suspects recorded on a 1970s camera?'
> Yet as soon as I'm in a bus lane they get all CSI and magnify the zoom using the large fucking hadron collider to read my numberplate
> 
> Joe Rodgers- Rotheram



the one that creased me up most in this months letterbocks.


----------



## Voley (Jun 8, 2015)

Ah, I'm looking forward to getting this again now.


----------



## billy_bob (Jun 8, 2015)

maomao said:


> That's one of my all time faves. There was a brilliant one with teaching jobs too.



I reckon the 'inspirational' one's the best.

I'm from the same neck of the woods as them off the viz, and I think I might know the actual teacher they had in mind for the 'art teacher who can't fucking draw'.


----------



## jakethesnake (Jun 8, 2015)

^^That is spot on. I'm going to start buying Viz (for my kids of course).


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2015)

Was just re-reading this months Roger Mellie strip (he promises to muff dive on anne widdecomb). Toms computer has a spunking cock logo where the apple symbol should be. Subtle.


----------



## rekil (Jun 9, 2015)

(((Drunken Bakers)))


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 9, 2015)

I LOL at the letters frequently:
* THE OTHER day, I rushed round to my neighbours' house to warn them of the kangaroo in their garden. Imagine how silly I felt when they explained it was just their greyhound having a shit.


----------



## pennimania (Jun 9, 2015)

I'm from the same neck of the woods as them off the viz, and I think I might know the actual teacher they had in mind for the 'art teacher who can't fucking draw'.
That was probably me 

love Viz - must start getting it again. We used to make up Viz characters - my favourite was 'Anthony Sinister- the Undead Prime Minister' (obviously this was some years ago).


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Jun 9, 2015)

Top Tip:

CONVINCE swimming pool attendants that you are having an "accident" by stuffing your trunks full of teabags

I sent that in years ago and I don't think they ever published it  the gits


----------



## pennimania (Jun 9, 2015)

I would love it if people could come up with some more characters.

I had been planning a zine about philosophers in a Viz stylee but gave it up when I discovered Existential comics.com.


----------



## Humberto (Jun 9, 2015)

Fat Slags is shit imo yet its in every issue it seems. Major Misunderstanding is great though. And the spoof holiday adverts.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 9, 2015)




----------



## Favelado (Jun 9, 2015)

Roger Mellie's cynicism and ruthlessness has always been good value.


----------



## killer b (Jun 9, 2015)

I have the collected volumes 1-12 here, there's some unknown gems. I'll post a few for your pleasure.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 9, 2015)

i started with about issue 3 from a shitty record shop in Newcastle. By the time I left uni, i had converted about 50 people to Viz.

not as funny as it used to be though


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 9, 2015)

killer b said:


> I have the collected volumes 1-12 here, there's some unknown gems. I'll post a few for your pleasure.



Billy Britain ?


----------



## ska invita (Jun 9, 2015)

simon lotion time and motion man


----------



## Favelado (Jun 9, 2015)

It once had "THE MAGAZINE THAT MAKES YOUR PISS SMELL LIKE SUGAR PUFFS" above the logo on the front cover.


----------



## killer b (Jun 9, 2015)

here's one that'll find some resonance here


----------



## ska invita (Jun 9, 2015)

Favelado said:


> It once had "THE MAGAZINE THAT MAKES YOUR PISS SMELL LIKE SUGAR PUFFS" above the logo on the front cover.


thats a thing
https://www.google.co.uk/search?cli...TF-8#q=why+does+my+urine+smell+of+sugar+puffs


----------



## Favelado (Jun 9, 2015)

ska invita said:


> thats a thing
> https://www.google.co.uk/search?cli...TF-8#q=why+does+my+urine+smell+of+sugar+puffs



Yeah, that's why it made me laugh so much when I saw it, because nobody had ever mentioned it before but I'd noticed it too with my own ablutions.


----------



## ska invita (Jun 9, 2015)

killer b said:


> I have the collected volumes 1-12 here, there's some unknown gems. I'll post a few for your pleasure.


if you find a simon lotion time and motion man id love a scan...theres none online...he deserves a little place on the internet....


----------



## Favelado (Jun 9, 2015)

> *Why does my urine sometimes smell exactly like a bowl of Sugar Puffs (the delicious breakfast cereal which the Honey Monster will stop at nothing to eat)?*
> We've all been told about (or experienced) the aromatic effects of asparagus on our urine. The smell is pretty weird. But sometimes, when I pee, i'm hit by the delicious fragrance of Sugar Puffs, and I'm taken back to my childhood in the 80s, when eating ridiculously sugary processed cereals on a daily basis was completely okay. Why does my wee smell like Sugar Puffs, when I haven't eaten a bowl of the Honey Monster's favourite snack in years?


----------



## killer b (Jun 9, 2015)




----------



## killer b (Jun 9, 2015)

ska invita said:


> if you find a simon lotion time and motion man id love a scan...theres none online...he deserves a little place on the internet....


nope, but I thought you might like this one


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 9, 2015)

billy_bob said:


> I reckon the 'inspirational' one's the best.
> 
> I'm from the same neck of the woods as them off the viz, and I think I might know the actual teacher they had in mind for the 'art teacher who can't fucking draw'.



The council slogans are the best. "Helping pupils maximise achievement of their individual potentialities"


----------



## JimW (Jun 9, 2015)

Everyone's posting Viz stuff but nothing from the other magazine mentioned in the thread title, so here's something from the Monthly Review:




Guaranteed a chucklesome mention of contradictions at least three times any given issue.


----------



## Favelado (Jun 9, 2015)

The first part has become a bit of a well-worn joke now, but it was Viz who invented it.


So when I  saw it cracked me up just for its daftness....

 






.....but when I turned the page and found this, I really pissed myself


----------



## Casually Red (Jun 9, 2015)

Back in the day we had a mate who looked the absolute spit of Felix with the amazing underpants . So he got the nickname felix . Met him for a drink at Christmas for the first time in about 2 decades ...and spent the whole feckin night desperately trying NOT to call him Felix. Under any circumstances . The name just stuck there in my mind the entire evening .
He's a sound lad but he'd have probably fisted me one if I came out with it .


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Jun 10, 2015)

The classic William Shatner "Captain's Log" one seems to have been scoured from the internet


----------



## shifting gears (Jun 10, 2015)

I've tried to find my favourite letterbocks from recent years but to no avail, the gist of it was saying it was unfair how Neil Armstrong got all the credit for the moonwalk when Michael Jackson actually did it first.

Pretty sure it ended with the line "he might've been a nonce bastard, but he wasn't half light on his feet".


----------



## Favelado (Jun 10, 2015)

"Harold Shipman is often described as Britain's worst serial killer. Surely, with more than 100 kills to his name he should be considered the _best_."

"When oh when will Liverpool Football Club stop referring to their ground as "Anfield" when everybody knows the correct grammar is "A field".


----------



## Casually Red (Jun 10, 2015)

Paedophiles .

Confuse police during questioning by making suggestive remarks about old ladies .


----------



## billy_bob (Jun 10, 2015)

Casually Red said:


> he'd have probably fisted me one if I came out with it .



F'narr f'narr.


----------



## billy_bob (Jun 10, 2015)

Boil an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.

We'll be here a long time if we're going to do all the funny letters and tips. Never failed to have me crying with laughter when I used to buy it regularly.


----------



## Ranbay (Jun 10, 2015)




----------



## brogdale (Jun 10, 2015)

Would it be inappropriate here to recall the, not entirely unrelated "Framley Examiner"? Their classifieds also contained some gems...



> Big ceiling fan.
> Top prices paid for your ceilings.
> NO FLOORS
> Box FE4042


----------



## billy_bob (Jun 10, 2015)

brogdale said:


> Would it be inappropriate here to recall the, not entirely unrelated "Framley Examiner"? Their classifieds also contained some gems...



Should've been more popular than it was. I wasted many hours reading those on a painfully slow (even by 2000 standards) dial-up connection, while I was supposed to be inputting orders in the shop where I worked.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 10, 2015)

billy_bob said:


> Should've been more popular than it was. I wasted many hours reading those on a painfully slow (even by 2000 standards) dial-up connection, while I was supposed to be inputting orders in the shop where I worked.


Oddly enough, I used to work in a shop with one of their writers.


----------



## brogdale (Jun 10, 2015)

Orang Utan said:


> Oddly enough, I used to work in a shop with one of their writers.


Jesus Chigley?


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 10, 2015)

brogdale said:


> Jesus Chigley?


Robin Halstead


----------



## machine cat (Jun 10, 2015)

Can someone just scan the entire new issue to this thread, thenI don't have to spend tomorrow lunch time in WH Smiths


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 10, 2015)




----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 10, 2015)




----------



## SpookyFrank (Jun 10, 2015)




----------



## brogdale (Jun 10, 2015)

Orang Utan said:


> Robin Halstead


Slightly disappointing. Could have been Ursula Cloybeam.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 10, 2015)

brogdale said:


> Slightly disappointing. Could have been Ursula Cloybeam.


Soz, none-funny but true answer. He also co-wrote two books on weird UK tourist attractions called (More) Bollocks To Alton Towers in which they recommend eccentric but safe delights such as the Cumbernauld Pencil Museum and Morpeth Bagpipe Museum.
Oh and a third one is called Far From The Sodding Crowd.

I remember him playing Philip Glass' Koyaanisquatsi on a Saturday in a crowded Our Price on the King's Road. Perhaps he was actually being funny


----------



## Idris2002 (Jun 10, 2015)

SpookyFrank said:


>



Not altogether original.


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Jun 11, 2015)

Idris2002 said:


> Not altogether original.



Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews genuinely discovered "perspective"


----------



## maomao (Jun 30, 2015)

New one's out (for subscribers,in shops on Thursday).  Haven't had a chance to have a proper look yet but Biffa's in and no sign of Tasha Slappa or Disability Scooter Woman so looks like a good month.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 30, 2015)

I've been waiting for the 2nd as well, you subscribing bastards get it early :shakes fist:


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 30, 2015)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews genuinely discovered "perspective"



mathews did some stuff for viz early on


----------



## T & P (Jul 1, 2015)




----------



## UrbaneFox (Jul 3, 2015)

I stopped reading Viz when the Fat Slags were in every issue, but when I was in hospital a few years ago, someone brought me an edition featuring The Casebook of Sherlock Homeless, which I liked a lot.

I liked Alberto Balsom and his Magic Hats, short-lived, Boswell Boyce, and Spoilt Bastard. Somewhere there is a Yellow Pages advert for builders, including Jack Churchill, a name you can rely on - that's why I chose it. Who was tight as a gnat's chuff?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 4, 2015)

norbert colon


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 4, 2015)

have to wait till tues to pick up a copy. And go town for it. Local tescos doesn't stock it, despite being happy to stock one of them shitty lads mags that really are a poor mans wank fodder and the very definition of bantz


----------



## Bakunin (Jul 4, 2015)

No Viz is complete without everybody's favourite televisual Titan, IMHO:


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 4, 2015)

Bakunin said:


> No Viz is complete without everybody's favourite televisual Titan, IMHO:


voiced by the late great Peter Cook no less!


----------



## Bakunin (Jul 4, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> voiced by the late great Peter Cook no less!



Indeed. Everybody needs a daily dose of Mellievision, methinks. So, with that in mind...


----------



## billy_bob (Jul 8, 2015)

Bakunin said:


> No Viz is complete without everybody's favourite televisual Titan, IMHO:



Again, if you're from the north east it's quite easy to work out which local newsreader RM's based on - the lads supposedly overheard him effing and blinding about his colleagues in the Egypt Cottage toilets (next door to Tyne-Tees studios - both now razed to the ground and replaced with student accommodation  )


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 9, 2015)

I used to go to the tube via the Egypt cottage.the only pub I knew that sold chocolate as well as crisps.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 9, 2015)

The viz videos are all utter shite by the way.never understood why they devalued the characters with vids


----------



## billy_bob (Jul 9, 2015)

not-bono-ever said:


> the only pub I knew that sold chocolate as well as crisps.



Had my first ever pint in there


----------



## Steel Icarus (Jul 9, 2015)

pretty much my fave thing in Viz ever:


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 17, 2015)

I've still yet to get this months, waiting on me p's ennit.

but a recent thread reminded me of a letterbocks thing:

they say you are detained 'at her majesties pleasure'. I don't know why she gets such a kick out of it, the cow


----------



## Idris2002 (Jul 18, 2015)

S☼I said:


> pretty much my fave thing in Viz ever:
> 
> View attachment 73814


Sadly the one which shows some sandwiches marching to take over the world, only to find that they have been "foiled again" is not on net of inters. So here's this other Viz thing I found instead:


----------



## Voley (Jul 18, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> I've still yet to get this months, waiting on me p's ennit.


It's great. First one I've read in years but I laughed out loud half a dozen or so times. Profanisaurus is particularly fine this month. I won't ruin it for you but there's one that begins 'a fanny like a ...' that had me fucking howling.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Aug 13, 2015)




----------



## billy_bob (Aug 13, 2015)

Just got myself this:






Don't approve of the wacky face him off the viz (the one on the right) is pulling on this cover, but I'm looking forward to reading it.

http://simondonald.com/


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 30, 2015)

Not from Viz:


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 30, 2015)

must remember to subscribe this afternoon. Last month I forgot and frittered the fee away on Prince of Persia


----------



## Idris2002 (Sep 30, 2015)




----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 18, 2017)

good month here. comes with a mini attatched comic short. A good pisstake at dacres expense as well.

I missed the xmas one


----------



## D'wards (Jan 25, 2017)

Me and me pal was published in Viz about 6 or 7 times 15 or so years ago. Top tips and letterbocks. I've sadly lost the issues we were in after moving home about 6 times since. Have no idea what numbers they were in either.
First time we got loads of stuff - all the current annuals and hardcover books, plus a years subscription and other things like pg tips teatowels oddly.
We were published after they were bought out and only got a top tips pen (also lost)


----------



## killer b (Feb 8, 2017)

Big archive of Barney Farmer / Lee Healey strips here for you

VIZ


----------



## Dieselpunk2000 (Feb 8, 2017)

That Hell Below Zero strip is bleak as fuck. I once had a boss like that. One of my workmates clocked the smarmy twat over the head with a tape dispenser. He fell down on the light bulbs I'd spent 10 hours unpacking and re-packing into different boxes. I ended up snapping and then kicked the boxes of bulbs all over the warehouse floor whilst Mr Boss crawled around trying to nurse a bleeding head wound. Agency work for mercenary cowboys in the late 90s for £3.00 an hour.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 15, 2017)




----------



## Red Sky (Jul 15, 2017)

Are you a Pimp or a Scientist ? QUIZ 

Have you ever cut up powders in a laboratory?
Vs
Have you ever cut up powders in a lavatory?

Have you ever stared down the barrel of a microscope to study the action  of a muscle?
Vs
Have you ever stared down the barrel of a gun while someone tried to muscle in on your action?


----------



## keybored (Jul 16, 2017)




----------



## keybored (Jul 16, 2017)




----------



## Voley (Feb 8, 2018)

PATHETIC SHARKNADO this issue.


----------



## seeformiles (Feb 8, 2018)

I love “The Male Online” - perfectly sums up some post-Brexit vote acquaintances - and most things that duo come out with (“Hen Cabin”, “Drunken Bakers”..)

Gilbert Ratchet is still one of my faves (and whoever draws “Vibrating Bum-faced Goats”, “Godzilla vs The Ring of Pubis”, etc.)


----------



## Voley (Feb 8, 2018)

seeformiles said:


> and whoever draws “Vibrating Bum-faced Goats”, “Godzilla vs The Ring of Pubis”, etc.)


''The Burrowing Church'' was my favourite of theirs. Fucking mental. Same person that does Roger Irrelevant?


----------



## seeformiles (Feb 8, 2018)

Everything this fella does is wonderful


----------



## D'wards (Feb 9, 2018)

seeformiles said:


> View attachment 127023 Everything this fella does is wonderful


He did the Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats. A personal highlight


----------



## D'wards (Feb 9, 2018)




----------



## Badgers (Feb 9, 2018)

Just picked up the latest


----------



## seeformiles (Feb 9, 2018)




----------



## seeformiles (Feb 9, 2018)




----------



## killer b (Jun 19, 2018)

Going to see Barney Farmer do a reading from his new book, a drunken bakers novel tomorrow. I'm slightly dubious how good a drunken bakers novel could be, but it's got some solid reviews and sounds like it could be good. A noble effort if nothing else.

He's interviewed about it here: Inside the head of the creator of Viz's Drunken Bakers


----------



## D'wards (Jun 20, 2018)

killer b said:


> Going to see Barney Farmer do a reading from his new book, a drunken bakers novel tomorrow. I'm slightly dubious how good a drunken bakers novel could be, but it's got some solid reviews and sounds like it could be good. A noble effort if nothing else.
> 
> He's interviewed about it here: Inside the head of the creator of Viz's Drunken Bakers


I find the Drunken Bakers the bleakest of all the strips. Pretty depressing stuff.

I've not been an alcoholic, or a baker, but i think it probably gets that feeling of your life spiralling out of control, whilst you are observing it in a drunken haze quite well.


----------



## killer b (Jun 20, 2018)

I dunno, Fixed-Odds Betty is bleaker. Farmer & Healey have an eye for it.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 20, 2018)

I get Viz via Readly app (I like it for the sailing mags  ) - reading it every month again I've noticed a certain extra bleakness in it. Still funny though.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 21, 2018)

D'wards said:


> I find the Drunken Bakers the bleakest of all the strips. Pretty depressing stuff.
> 
> I've not been an alcoholic, or a baker, but i think it probably gets that feeling of your life spiralling out of control, whilst you are observing it in a drunken haze quite well.


His Male Online strip is a work of genius:


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 27, 2018)

there are free fridge magnets this month and a strip about Ken Livingstone mentioning hitler.


----------



## D'wards (Aug 27, 2018)

I subscribed ages ago but received fuck all since.
When did the latest one come out?


----------



## killer b (Oct 12, 2018)

beautiful stuff.


----------



## D'wards (Oct 12, 2018)

Heads up, if you send an SAE with your verdict on the Man Fucks Alligator at the Zoo court case they'll send you a free pen this month


----------



## Badgers (Jan 20, 2019)

The new one just arrived. Good line and a bonus profanisaurus attached


----------



## Favelado (Mar 9, 2019)

The Last of The Summer Wine thing in the new one is excellent. Mrs Brady Old lady has a brilliant bit too. (the bit that mentions Merkel and Brady's response is so funny).


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 8, 2019)

top quality last month. The 'have your say' was asking exactly what Will Self said about Mark Francois cock. ( If you don't know they had a quality row on air and francois alleged that will self had 'made a derogatory remark about my genitals' lol). 
_'the country has never been so divided as it is now and will self accusing mark francois cock of looking like an acorn in a wrens nest, which he probably did, will not help re-unite us. Even if its true, which it probably is, pointing it out will only help fuel further division'

_
also Roger Scruton's Scrotum Futon, a good Raffles. No free stuff.


----------



## Ming (Jul 9, 2019)

Viz and Private Eye are the two mags i get sent over from Blighty. It’s still funny. I loved the recent court room drama strip about a defendant who may or may not have fucked a a large salt water crocodile up the arse (the reader decides).


----------



## Badgers (Nov 14, 2019)

Enjoying the latest (or the one before) issue.

The 'Hollywood Vet' feature story is especially tickling me.


----------



## A380 (Nov 16, 2019)

Free calendar this month, has anyone anywhere actually used one as a calendar?


----------



## D'wards (Nov 16, 2019)

A380 said:


> Free calendar this month, has anyone anywhere actually used one as a calendar?


I have!  I used last years and have this one ready for next year. 
I just wish they'd put a hole in them as I've fucked up punching one for 2 years in a row


----------



## killer b (Nov 20, 2019)

This coalition era classic crossed my desk this morning. Perfect.


----------



## ringo (Nov 20, 2019)

Genius


----------



## neonwilderness (Nov 20, 2019)

ringo said:


> Genius
> 
> View attachment 190481


----------



## killer b (Nov 21, 2019)

fucking hell.


----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 21, 2019)

killer b said:


> fucking hell.



That's got to be the grimmest, devastating Viz cartoon I've ever read


----------



## Badgers (Nov 21, 2019)

krtek a houby said:


> That's got to be the grimmest, devastating Viz cartoon I've ever read


Worse than the Drunken Bakers


----------



## killer b (Nov 21, 2019)

It's a Barney Farmer strip, same writer. I've seen bleaker from his hand, mind.


----------



## D'wards (Nov 21, 2019)

> Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.
> J B Cartland, Brighton.
> 
> Suck the eyes from attacking zombies using a Black & Decker
> ...



I wrote the Fanny Cyclops ones, I'll have you know


----------



## Badgers (Nov 21, 2019)

D'wards said:


> I wrote the Fanny Cyclops ones, I'll have you know


Huzzah


----------



## Ming (Nov 21, 2019)

D'wards said:


> I wrote the Fanny Cyclops ones, I'll have you know


Wooh! Respect.


----------



## Ming (Nov 21, 2019)

I used to write to TV Quick’s readers tips with fucked up suggestions. But i never got one in unfortunately.


----------



## neonwilderness (Nov 26, 2019)




----------



## Badgers (Nov 26, 2019)

Not got the latest one yer  

Really enjoyed the 'Shouldn't happen to a vet' piece in the previous edition


----------



## D'wards (Dec 6, 2019)




----------



## D'wards (Dec 8, 2019)




----------



## killer b (Jan 13, 2020)

this is brutal


----------



## killer b (Jan 13, 2020)

cheers to DotCommunist for alerting me to the existence of this, which is even better than the title suggests.


----------



## Ron Merlin (Jan 13, 2020)

"Drawstring foreskin". Genius


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Jan 13, 2020)

I reckon I've completed and sent in the Craptic Crossword 20 times or so in the last 5 years. I've never got in the top 5 and won a mug.
Either I've been incredibly unlucky, or there are far more people that possess both the knowledge of how to do cryptic crosswords and the deeper receses of the profanisaurus (and who have time to bother) than I thought possible.


----------



## Jay Park (Jan 13, 2020)

killer b said:


> this is brutal
> 
> View attachment 195698



quite the opposite, makes me feel less isolated


----------



## neonwilderness (Jan 16, 2020)




----------



## King Biscuit Time (Jan 19, 2020)

Also, who the fuck are those (presumably) shite bands that take out full page ads every month?


----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 21, 2020)

A very good mrs brady old lady this month 



Spoiler: top line



'like a sheeps heart on a tin of vim


----------



## maomao (Jan 21, 2020)

King Biscuit Time said:


> Also, who the fuck are those (presumably) shite bands that take out full page ads every month?


The Aquavelvas are a bit rubbish. I bunged them on once because of their monthly full page ads and regretted it straight away. Maybe they're related to someone at Viz? Doesn't seem a good use of the publicity budget.


----------



## D'wards (Jan 21, 2020)

I only really like the Broon Windsors and the consistently brilliant Davey Jones strips these days


----------



## neonwilderness (Jan 28, 2020)




----------



## neonwilderness (Feb 6, 2020)




----------



## pennimania (Feb 12, 2020)

I have been sniggering and shaking like a 3rd year at the back of the class with only the last page of this thread.


----------



## keybored (Feb 13, 2020)

maomao said:


> The Aquavelvas are a bit rubbish. I bunged them on once because of their monthly full page ads and regretted it straight away. Maybe they're related to someone at Viz? Doesn't seem a good use of the publicity budget.


Did the Macc Lads teach you nothing?


----------



## neonwilderness (Feb 13, 2020)




----------



## D'wards (Feb 18, 2020)

I'm thinking of a career change


----------



## D'wards (Feb 18, 2020)




----------



## neonwilderness (Feb 25, 2020)




----------



## neonwilderness (Feb 28, 2020)




----------



## maomao (Mar 9, 2020)




----------



## kebabking (Mar 13, 2020)




----------



## Badgers (Mar 27, 2020)

https://dennis.slgnt.eu/optiext/optiextension.dll?ID=OalOp6UrUnxRhww+VEBN867e3ZdYnq7J69cRkZNABJXgqweyyt19jGKOGpa0E9h9VPSimXOug4U37ieBmJ&CREF=vizdigitaldownload1
		


Free digital Viz


----------



## Gerry1time (Mar 27, 2020)

maomao said:


> The Aquavelvas are a bit rubbish. I bunged them on once because of their monthly full page ads and regretted it straight away. Maybe they're related to someone at Viz? Doesn't seem a good use of the publicity budget.



My guess has always been that they're a couple of original members from a band from the 1980's (judging from the old photos they sometimes use in their ads), and one of them (I suspect the bald bloke) came into a big wodge of money somehow. Being a fan of viz, he decided to advertise in there for month after month. The joy I take from the ads is seeing how many young people seem to drift in and out of the band on a regular basis, and how budget their photoshoots are. The videos where they randomly have an Austin Powers impersonator are also marvellously random.


----------



## D'wards (May 24, 2020)




----------



## cyril_smear (May 24, 2020)

maomao said:


> View attachment 201071


i dont get it


----------



## Pickman's model (May 24, 2020)

cyril_smear said:


> i dont get it


that's no surprise.


----------



## cyril_smear (May 24, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> that's no surprise.



fuck off and die


----------



## maomao (May 24, 2020)

D'wards said:


> View attachment 214430View attachment 214431


Funniest bit of that was Drew Peacock. 



cyril_smear said:


> i dont get it



I can't help you.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 24, 2020)

cyril_smear said:


> fuck off and die


----------



## Pickman's model (May 24, 2020)

cyril_smear said:


> i dont get it


your first post on this thread. which shows why you should never be allowed near humour. it's not for you.


----------



## D'wards (May 24, 2020)

Gerry1time said:


> My guess has always been that they're a couple of original members from a band from the 1980's (judging from the old photos they sometimes use in their ads), and one of them (I suspect the bald bloke) came into a big wodge of money somehow. Being a fan of viz, he decided to advertise in there for month after month. The joy I take from the ads is seeing how many young people seem to drift in and out of the band on a regular basis, and how budget their photoshoots are. The videos where they randomly have an Austin Powers impersonator are also marvellously random.



I find this quite depressing, after all that effort


----------



## cyril_smear (May 24, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> your first post on this thread. which shows why you should never be allowed near humour. it's not for you.



well i've since googled dyson airblade. I thought it was some kind of razor or vacuum.


----------



## Sprocket. (May 24, 2020)

maomao said:


> Funniest bit of that was Drew Peacock.


There was an birth announcement in the Barnsley Chronicle a few years ago with that name, I kid you not.


----------



## cyril_smear (May 24, 2020)

D'wards said:


> I find this quite depressing, after all that effort
> View attachment 214448


what's the ballad of Lee Duffy all about? I do know Lee Duffy was some kind of NE gangster.


----------



## Sasaferrato (May 24, 2020)

cyril_smear said:


> well i've since googled dyson airblade. I thought it was some kind of razor or vacuum.



I despise the cunt, if I had my way, he would be stripped of citizenship, never mind knighthood for offshoring his manufacturing, but, his bloody hand driers really are the dog's bollocks.


----------



## maomao (May 24, 2020)

Sasaferrato said:


> I despise the cunt, if I had my way, he would be stripped of citizenship, never mind knighthood for offshoring his manufacturing, but, his bloody hand driers really are the dog's bollocks.


They make rubbish urinals though.


----------



## two sheds (May 24, 2020)

Sasaferrato said:


> I despise the cunt, if I had my way, he would be stripped of citizenship, never mind knighthood for offshoring his manufacturing, but, his bloody hand driers really are the dog's bollocks.



I read somewhere that air dryers are actually quite good at dispersing germs from peoples' hands throughout the region. Paper towels are apparently safest


----------



## cyril_smear (May 24, 2020)

Sasaferrato said:


> I despise the cunt, if I had my way, he would be stripped of citizenship, never mind knighthood for offshoring his manufacturing, but, his bloody hand driers really are the dog's bollocks.



All they do is push the water around. I do enjoy watching the funny shapes it makes of the skin on your hands and penis though.


----------



## two sheds (May 24, 2020)

cyril_smear said:


> All they do is push the water around. I do enjoy watching the funny shapes it makes of the skin on your hands and penis though.



Like I said, spreads all sorts of diseases round


----------



## neonwilderness (Jun 24, 2020)




----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 23, 2020)

This years xmas edition is in smiths and so on now, its good, an excellent casefile strip about wanking into Gove's coffee


----------



## Sasaferrato (Nov 23, 2020)

cyril_smear said:


> All they do is push the water around. I do enjoy watching the funny shapes it makes of the skin on your hands and penis though.


----------



## Badgers (Aug 5, 2021)




----------



## Badgers (Aug 5, 2021)

Decent deal that 





__





						The Week
					





					dennis.slgnt.eu


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 5, 2021)

the bastards, I got a sub two weeks ago and missed out on the free blanket


e2a oh its not a viz thing, thats ok then


----------



## hitmouse (Aug 5, 2021)

Drunken Bakers is always great, but this month's one proper made me laugh, and it's certainly not always a "laugh out loud" kind of strip.


----------



## neonwilderness (Aug 8, 2021)




----------



## neonwilderness (Aug 21, 2021)




----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 25, 2021)

I picked this up from a corner shop next to the Picturedrome in N'pton for two quid, Old Viz from 1990 










from the modern era this months Jack Black and His Dog Silver cracked me up  as they all agreed the serial killing mayor was a victim of wokeness.


----------



## UrbaneFox (Aug 25, 2021)

I've just remembered Black Bag, the faithful Border bin liner.

He helped solve crimes, and was rewarded by having a pair of sweaty socks chucked in him.


----------



## Badgers (Nov 5, 2021)




----------



## killer b (Aug 1, 2022)




----------



## hitmouse (Sep 9, 2022)

This month's has a whole three Healey/Farmer strips - a Drunken Bakers, one about a gambling addict, and one about inflation:


Some classic letters as well:


----------



## DotCommunist (Oct 5, 2022)

I was going to cancel the sub as part of operation extra-belt-notch but Diamond publishing have took my money before I could stop them.  I'm glad they did though, worth it for the lols over the coming bleak winter.


----------



## Ming (Oct 6, 2022)

DotCommunist said:


> I was going to cancel the sub as part of operation extra-belt-notch but Diamond publishing have took my money before I could stop them.  I'm glad they did though, worth it for the lols over the coming bleak winter.


Private Eye and Viz are the two mags i get delivered over here in BC. It makes me laugh that people say Urban isn’t as good as it used to be. Like Viz.


----------

