# What are the worst computer games ever



## DotCommunist (Oct 1, 2013)

Dr Mario on the gameboy

more?


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## mauvais (Oct 1, 2013)

Duke Nukem 4Ever.


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## Kizmet (Oct 1, 2013)

Temple run and derivatives!


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## DotCommunist (Oct 1, 2013)

Jedi Academy on the xbox original. Lucas Arts have published some great games but that took thye fucking piss


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## Fez909 (Oct 1, 2013)

The Simpsons on the SNES (or NES?). The one where you had to paint stuff purple on level one.


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## pissflaps (Oct 1, 2013)

worst graphix ever and took ages to load.


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## Fez909 (Oct 1, 2013)

Sonic Unleashed on the PS3 - Not 100% sure that is the name, but it was like watching a film - cut scenes where you are not in control *yawn*. Ditto one of the Final Fantasy games a few years ago - XIII?


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## Kizmet (Oct 1, 2013)

Dragons Lair.


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## bi0boy (Oct 1, 2013)

Master of Orion 3, a long awaited sequel. It was atrocious. They came up with the idea of a strategy game where the AI was supposed to do most of the work for you, to save you from, you know, the tediousness of playing the game yourself. But the AI was shit.

To add insult to injury it was in a fixed resolution of 800x600 when the vast majority of people had already moved on to monitors with higher resolutions.


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## tommers (Oct 1, 2013)

Dungeon hunter 4.


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## tommers (Oct 1, 2013)

Towns.


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## el-ahrairah (Oct 1, 2013)

there was a WWF Wrestling Game on the Gameboy when i was a lad that was completely and utterly pointless.  it was absolutely impossible to beat more than the first character.  unless, of course, you did the 'running clothesline' combo.  in which case you could keep doing that and nothing else and could beat everyone.


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## skyscraper101 (Oct 1, 2013)

The Frankie Goes To Hollywood one for the ZX Spectrum was very wtf.

Mind you, so was the Jacko Moonwalker one where the plot involves running about after kids


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## TruXta (Oct 1, 2013)

Commando Libya was certainly in very poor taste.


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## fen_boy (Oct 1, 2013)

Kizmet said:


> Dragons Lair.



I used to love that when I was an idiot eight-year-old.


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## Citizen66 (Oct 1, 2013)

Street sweeper simulator.


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## Callum91 (Oct 1, 2013)

Fifa. Get off your arse and play football for real


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## fractionMan (Oct 1, 2013)

Thundercats on the Amiga.


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## Yetman (Oct 1, 2013)

ET on the Atari 2600 apparently. There's millions of them buried in the desert.

I hated pit fighter. One of those ones using technology too modern for it's own good.

Mario Paint was shit as well.


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## xenon (Oct 1, 2013)

Yetman said:


> ET on the Atari 2600 apparently. There's millions of them buried in the desert.
> 
> I hated pit fighter. One of those ones using technology too modern for it's own good.
> 
> Mario Paint was shit as well.



I liked Pit Fighter. Obviously was better in the arcade. Too jerky and smaller on Amiga.
A lot of movie tie ins were absolute pish.


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## xenon (Oct 1, 2013)

Wasn't there a renound shite game called Trucks?


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## pissflaps (Oct 1, 2013)

horace goes skiing.

fuck off, horace.


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## rubbershoes (Oct 1, 2013)

desert bus

Drive a bus for 8 hours on a  dead straight road for 8 hours. No other vehicles and no incidents. Reach the end and you rack up 1 point


It's meant to be the most pointless game ever, so doesn't really belong on this thread


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## fishfinger (Oct 1, 2013)

Pyongyang Racer

North Korean driving game that's free to play.


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## Throbbing Angel (Oct 1, 2013)

Yetman said:


> ET on the Atari 2600 apparently. There's millions of them buried in the desert.
> 
> I hated pit fighter. One of those ones using technology too modern for it's own good.
> 
> Mario Paint was shit as well.


 ET looks as great as most other 2600 games






The 'Don't Buy This' compilation for the ZX Speccy has some right shit on it - can't recall what they were now. Something about a dog was one of them.
Appropriately titled comp as I recall


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 1, 2013)

Yetman said:


> ET on the Atari 2600 apparently. There's millions of them buried in the desert..


I have this.
The buried in the desert story seems to come from a C&VG  interview quote. I am not sure it is true. However there is documentation that shows that the number of ET carts produced was about one and a half times the amount of 2600s that actually existed. 
You can still easily buy unopened mint in box copies of ET for next to nothing. 


Throbbing Angel said:


> ET looks as great as most other 2600 games
> 
> 
> 
> ...



The 2600 was good when it played to it's strengths. Try to make a game that has great graphics to hold it up and you are screwed.
Things like ET and superman suffer in the same way that un-thought out movie tie in games do today.

The Emprire Strikes back was pretty good. Even the ghostbutsters game is ok on the 2600.
Bah I wish my 2600 was still working.


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## Bakunin (Oct 1, 2013)

There can be only one...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custer's_Revenge

What were Atari thinking (drinking?) when they inflicted this vile piece of shit upon the world?


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## DotCommunist (Oct 1, 2013)

The 2600 did a great wallbreaker game.

and an ill advised Mario game which later turned up as a hidden mini game on mario 64! It was wank


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## souljacker (Oct 1, 2013)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> The Emprire Strikes back was pretty good.



That was a good one actually. Wouldn't make it on my list though.


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## Maurice Picarda (Oct 1, 2013)

I never got Minecraft.


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## FridgeMagnet (Oct 1, 2013)

Countdown To Doom.

Actually a lot of early text adventures were really awful. Modern ones are often pretty good, but are not made as commercial games.


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## Nine Bob Note (Oct 1, 2013)

Crystal Kingdom Dizzy


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## Stigmata (Oct 1, 2013)

What about that piss poor adventure game that ripped off a load of graphics from other games? Limbo of the Lost?


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## fishfinger (Oct 1, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> What about that piss poor adventure game that ripped off a load of graphics from other games? Limbo of the Lost?



Blimey, I'd forgotten about that. I think it was pulled as soon as the publisher realised what had happened


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## Jon-of-arc (Oct 2, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Crystal Kingdom Dizzy



Which was that one? If I remember it was one of the last ones, and my Amstrad version seemed to get me stuck on some screen were I drowned under water.

Fantastic adventures of dizzy was ace, though.


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## 8ball (Oct 2, 2013)

There was a game on the Amiga called 'Iznogoud'.
It merited the most succinct review I ever saw in Amiga magazine:




			
				Amiga mag said:
			
		

> Is no good.


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## ruffneck23 (Oct 2, 2013)

catwoman the movie, the single most painful gaming experience o a console ever


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## Silva (Oct 2, 2013)

xenon said:


> Wasn't there a renound shite game called Trucks?


Big Rigs?



Bakunin said:


> There can be only one...
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custer's_Revenge
> 
> What were Atari thinking (drinking?) when they inflicted this vile piece of shit upon the world?


Truth be told, if it was up to Atari, the game would have never existed, neither would Mystique.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 2, 2013)

Half Life 2
Resident Evil 4
Final Fantasy 7
Every Zelda game not on the SNES or Gameboy
Every Call of Duty after 4


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## Anonymous1 (Oct 2, 2013)

Ecco the Dolphin.


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## Ax^ (Oct 2, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Half Life 2
> Resident Evil 4
> Final Fantasy 7
> Every Zelda game not on the SNES or Gameboy



*raises eyebrow*




I suppose its like you adoring apple but not liking the ocarina of time  makes you a wrongun..


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## tommers (Oct 2, 2013)

Skyrim


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## editor (Oct 2, 2013)

Frontier Elite ported to the PC. Unmitigated disaster.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 3, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> *raises eyebrow*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Eh what's Apple got to do with anything? Those are some of the most overrated games I've ever played. And my views opinion of them is fairly well known by gamers on here.


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## DotCommunist (Oct 3, 2013)

I hated ocarina of time as well, not because it was a bad game but cos I just think link is a wanker


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## Ax^ (Oct 3, 2013)

not in the mood to argue..

just appears you are trying to hard again


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## DotCommunist (Oct 3, 2013)

not trying hard enough, I could never get link to do winning things


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## Ax^ (Oct 3, 2013)

are you dyspraxic?


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## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> horace goes skiing.
> 
> fuck off, horace.


 
Heresy!  That was an ace game! 

And you can play it online here:

http://torinak.com/qaop#!horaceskiing


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## Dexter Deadwood (Oct 3, 2013)

Far Cry 2.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 3, 2013)

Ax^ said:


> not in the mood to argue..
> 
> just appears you are trying to hard again



You're an idiot. I'm just expressing a long held opinion not some playing some weird meta-forum game.


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## Barking_Mad (Oct 3, 2013)

JCB DIGGER - BBC Micro.


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## not-bono-ever (Oct 3, 2013)




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## Yata (Oct 7, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Half Life 2
> Resident Evil 4
> Final Fantasy 7
> Every Zelda game not on the SNES or Gameboy
> Every Call of Duty after 4


i reckon you're one of those pretend gamers who talks a lot about how over-rated various CLASSIC games are to make yourself look informed whilst actually you prob spend most of your gaming time playing bejeweled on your iphone or whatever the latest non-game is these days.
 pretty sure i used to have you on XBL when i had a 360 and you were only ever on Netflix never actually playing any games.. POSEUR ALERT


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## Fez909 (Oct 7, 2013)




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## Lazy Llama (Oct 7, 2013)

Shadowfax on the BBC Micro - by the otherwise respectable Mike Singleton

Look at those high res graphics and stunning gameplay.
http://www.uvlist.net/gamegallery-193208


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## treelover (Oct 7, 2013)

Velvet Assassin, has someone modelled on Violette Szabo(agent killed by Nazis) running around in a short nightdress fuelled by opium shots.

very poor animation, collision, etc


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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 7, 2013)

not-bono-ever said:


>


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## Stigmata (Oct 8, 2013)

Deus Ex 2 was merely a mediocre game, but by dint of being sandwiched between two solid gold classics it looks utterly dreadful in comparison


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## Dandred (Oct 12, 2013)

Hero quest on the spectrum.


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## agricola (Oct 12, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> Jedi Academy on the xbox original. Lucas Arts have published some great games but that took thye fucking piss



See also:_ Masters of Teras Kasi_


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## Kaka Tim (Oct 13, 2013)

......


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## Kaka Tim (Oct 13, 2013)

editor said:


> Frontier Elite ported to the PC. Unmitigated disaster.



God - frontier was so, so shit.


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## Geoffrey (Oct 14, 2013)

Sword of Sodan on the Megadrive was an abomination.  There's not even any music!


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## Yata (Oct 15, 2013)

agricola said:


> See also:_ Masters of Teras Kasi_


bought that one copied for a fiver, had a mate who got it full price from blockbuster. i think i genuinely felt sorry for him what a load of shyt


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## kabbes (Oct 15, 2013)

There is a deluge of games that are so bad that you and I have never even heard of them.


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## kabbes (Oct 15, 2013)

Of course, there is the infamous Advanced Lawnmower Simulator, so beloved of Your Sinclair magazine.

Press "M" to mow.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 15, 2013)

Yata said:


> i reckon you're one of those pretend gamers who talks a lot about how over-rated various CLASSIC games are to make yourself look informed whilst actually you prob spend most of your gaming time playing bejeweled on your iphone or whatever the latest non-game is these days.
> pretty sure i used to have you on XBL when i had a 360 and you were only ever on Netflix never actually playing any games.. POSEUR ALERT



Yeah because I never played Counter Strike back in the day or stupid amounts of Battlefield over the last few years. And yeah I've not owned or played silly amounts of EVERY console ever released (and a good few that never were over here).

Might be that with over 30 years gaming behind me I formed the ability to develop my pen tastes that doesn't require me to bleat sheep like the usual cliches of what are great games?


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 15, 2013)

Oh yeah and Rise of the Robots is another example of a terrible game.


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## Wolveryeti (Oct 15, 2013)

Myst was fucking shit. Point and click crapola from hell.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 15, 2013)

Yeah very true. Not a fan of Another World either.


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## TruXta (Oct 15, 2013)

The Commodore Vic machines had some abysmal games.


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## kabbes (Oct 16, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Yeah very true. Not a fan of Another World either.


Do you read reviews and then mentally invert them?


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## tommers (Oct 16, 2013)

kabbes said:


> Do you read reviews and then mentally invert them?



Leave him alone.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 16, 2013)

kabbes said:


> Do you read reviews and then mentally invert them?



I don't really read reviews much these days as often you can play demos or go on good word of mouth. I prefer actual experience of a game rather than just following what I'm told is the right opinion of it.


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## kabbes (Oct 16, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> I don't really read reviews much these days as often you can play demos or go on good word of mouth. I prefer actual experience of a game rather than just following what I'm told is the right opinion of it.


I think you miss my point.  I wasn't suggesting that you should be told what is the right opinion.  I'm suggesting that your opinions are _so_ out of line with popular perception that the best way you could obtain information relevant to you personally is to read a review and then invert it.


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## Bakunin (Oct 16, 2013)

Sorry to remind my fellow Speccy users that this ever existed, but...


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 16, 2013)

kabbes said:


> I think you miss my point.  I wasn't suggesting that you should be told what is the right opinion.  I'm suggesting that your opinions are _so_ out of line with popular perception that the best way you could obtain information relevant to you personally is to read a review and then invert it.



Whatever the point my post still makes more sense then this 'idea'x


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## Geoffrey (Oct 16, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Half Life 2
> Resident Evil 4
> Final Fantasy 7
> Every Zelda game not on the SNES or Gameboy
> Every Call of Duty after 4



A bit of baiting here eh?  HL2 and Res Evil 4  are certainly up there as some of my favourite gaming experiences of recent years....Are you sure you meant to post this in the worst games ever thread  and Zelda on N64/Cube/Wii overrated a tad but still decent.  Never got into FF or COD.

I'm in a position much like yourself, 30 years gaming experience with loads of importing and diversity, but HL2 & RE4 are just two great games and that's that...Ah it's all subjective anyway, one guys gold is another's shite!


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 16, 2013)

Geoffrey said:


> A bit of baiting here eh?  HL2 and Res Evil 4  are certainly up there as some of my favourite gaming experiences of recent years....Are you sure you meant to post this in the worst games ever thread  and Zelda on N64/Cube/Wii overrated a tad but still decent.  Never got into FF or COD.
> 
> I'm in a position much like yourself, 30 years gaming experience with loads of importing and diversity, but HL2 & RE4 are just two great games and that's that...Ah it's all subjective anyway, one guys gold is another's shite!



Heh nicely put, cheers for being a grown up about it. It's remarkable just how infantile some people get over a mere opinion! No baiting or trolling, this is honestly what I think...


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## kabbes (Oct 16, 2013)

You honestly think that Resi 4 is a contender for "worst game of all time"?

And that its rival for this is Half-Life 2?

Right.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 17, 2013)

It bored the hell out of me like al the others...


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 17, 2013)

HL2 has got to be one of the most overrated and over hyped games in history. It was so banal it wasn't funny and all the puzzles were piss easy.


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## Lazy Llama (Oct 17, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> HL2 has got to be one of the most overrated and over hyped games in history. It was so banal it wasn't funny and all the puzzles were piss easy.


You appear to be posting on the wrong thread then. There's another one for most overrated.

Unless you're from another planet, HL2 doesn't qualify for worst - you obviously played it all the way through which surely no one would do if they thought the game was utterly rubbish from beginning to end.


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## no-no (Oct 17, 2013)

track and fucking field, decathlon, any of those sport games that require endless button bashing or stick waggling.

Winter,summer and california games were great though. They swapped out simply hitting the buttons as fast as you can for a rhythm/timing based system.

note....i think that's the first time I've ever written the word rhythm, where's the vowels eh?


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## agricola (Oct 17, 2013)

Its probably been said already, but surely a game has to have a lot of money and/or a major firm behind it before it can be deemed truly shit?


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## Silva (Oct 17, 2013)

agricola said:


> Its probably been said already, but surely a game has to have a lot of money and/or a major firm behind it before it can be deemed truly shit?


I don't think so. A shit game is a shit game regardless of the money put into it. Of course, it's not on the same league or _sport_ making a complete mess of a game with a budget to sign dozens of coders and artists, license all kinds of engines and middlewares and messing up a game made on the weekends by looking up free pygame tutorials, but if a game fails to reach any standard of decency between their peers, it's shit.

In fact, with a lot of the game-breaking stuff being now third party pre-assembled middlewares, most AAA stuff to be proper shit has to be broken (like Colonial Marines or Rome 2) or else they're just completely bland, average and uninspired at worst.


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## Yata (Oct 18, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> HL2 has got to be one of the most overrated and over hyped games in history. It was so banal it wasn't funny and all the puzzles were piss easy.


you could argue for overrated but theres another thread for that, this is worst games ever and theres no way HL2 is one if the worst games ever. FF7 worst game ever? Ocarina of Time worse than Masters of Teras Kasi? (came out around same time iirc) even if you dont like those games theres much worse out there and its just strange that you'd choose those.


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## Kid_Eternity (Oct 19, 2013)

Games like art, music or film are matters of opinion. People have the most remarkable reactions when the cultural orthodoxy is questioned...


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## Steel Icarus (Oct 19, 2013)




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## Steel Icarus (Oct 19, 2013)

Fucking hell 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RapeLay


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## kabbes (Oct 19, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Games like art, music or film are matters of opinion. People have the most remarkable reactions when the cultural orthodoxy is questioned...



And like with all those things, it is possible to respect something well made even if you don't personally like it.

Subjectivity does not mean that you can't have any measure of objective quality at all. That's cultural relativism gone haywire.

Insisting that anything at all that isn't to your personal taste is shit is the behaviour of a teenager. It's misunderstanding the difference between "worst" and "least favourite".


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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 19, 2013)

S☼I said:


> Fucking hell
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RapeLay



I kinda find it amusing that game keeps being brought up.  it  isn't that different from other games made by the same studio  and  is unremarkable in most ways  when compared to the whole field of dodgy porn games.

the only reason this one gained any notoriety  was because it  ended up being resold on uk amazon.


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## kabbes (Oct 19, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> I kinda find it amusing that game keeps being brought up.  it  isn't that different from other games made by the same studio  and  is unremarkable in most ways  when compared to the whole field of dodgy porn games.
> 
> the only reason this one gained any notoriety  was because it  ended up being resold on uk amazon.


If this game is "unremarkable", that in itself would be remarkable.

I don't find it unremarkable though.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 19, 2013)

as i said, when compared to that genre of games as a whole.

or possibly as a hole.


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## kabbes (Oct 19, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> as i said, when compared to that genre of games as a whole.
> 
> or possibly as a hole.


Does that genre commonly use rape as a motif then?


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## Pickman's model (Oct 19, 2013)




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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 19, 2013)

Yep.  there is a fair amount of it about.  i'm not sure what percentage of the whole it actually is  but it's not  going to be listed as unusual.

the studio that  did that game i seem to remember is known for  doing  darker  stuff.


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## maomao (Oct 19, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> Yep.  there is a fair amount of it about.  i'm not sure what percentage of the whole it actually is  but it's not  going to be listed as unusual.
> 
> the studio that  did that game i seem to remember is known for  doing  darker  stuff.


What are some good 'non-rapey' porn games then? I played rapelay but it was just too disturbing.


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## Steel Icarus (Oct 20, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> I kinda find it amusing that game keeps being brought up.  it  isn't that different from other games made by the same studio  and  is unremarkable in most ways  when compared to the whole field of dodgy porn games.
> 
> the only reason this one gained any notoriety  was because it  ended up being resold on uk amazon.



Well, it was remarkable in that I'd never heard of it before or games of its type and decided to remark upon the fact.


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## classicdish (Oct 20, 2013)

In the same way that GTA is referenced far more than Saints Row?


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## Epona (Oct 20, 2013)

I'm struggling to think of something worthy of the title 'worst computer game ever'.  It would have to be a complete dud, not just a game that is flawed but still has charm, nor a game that was just a bad cross-platform port (Alpha Protocol I am looking at you) but one that has some inherent design flaw making it out and out 'bad' - I'm really struggling.  Maybe I'm finding it difficult because I have a tight budget for games and tend to be really careful with my spending.

I understand that Aliens: Colonial Marines is supposed to be really awful, but I've never played it so can't comment.


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## Yata (Oct 20, 2013)

never had an amiga but had a C64 and one of these, most of the games were pretty bad even by 80's standards


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## red rose (Oct 20, 2013)

Delivery Truck Simulator



From the same company you can buy Garbage Truck Simulator, Bus Simulator, Bus Simulator 2, Utility Vehicle Simulator (and expansion pack) Towing Simulator, Underground Mining Simulator, Crane Simulator, Police Simulator 1 and 2, UK Truck Driver, German Truck Driver, Driving Simulator, Demolition Simulator, Demolition Company Gold Edition, Surgery Simulator, Traffic Manager, Train Simulator, Pro Farm 1, Tow Truck Simulator, Farming Simulator 2011 - the platinum edition, Digger Simulator, Stone Quarry Simulator, Forklift Truck Simulator (and expansion pack) Airport Ground Crew Simulator, Ship Simulator, Transport Simulator, Oil Platform Simulator, Chemical Spillage Simulator, Road Construction Simulator, Ports, Bus and Cable Car Simulator, Ski Region Simulator, European Bus Simulator, Scania Truck Driver Simulator, Tanker Truck Simulator, Street Cleaning Simulator, Trucks and Trailers and Euro Truck Gold.

I mean, _why?_


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## Epona (Oct 20, 2013)

red rose said:


> Delivery Truck Simulator
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Because in a parallel universe, there exists a society where the question 'why would you be a brain surgeon if garbage collectors were paid the same' has been extrapolated, into 'yes but why would you spend hours under bright lights poking about in someones brain with a scalpel when you could be DRIVING A GARBAGE TRUCK, WITH a compactor ffs.... where the garbage truck drivers are appreciated and have an appropriately high wage and social status.... That's Why.


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## fishfinger (Oct 20, 2013)

red rose said:


> Delivery Truck Simulator
> 
> 
> 
> ...




The clue is the word "simulator" 

Just like flight simulators - there is not much "game" as experience. They are really for train-spotter types. I've tried Ship simulator and one of the truck driving ones (can't remember which one). They are an interesting experience but if your idea of driving fun is only of the GTA variety, then you probably won't enjoy them.


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## Epona (Oct 20, 2013)

fishfinger said:


> The clue is the word "simulator"
> 
> Just like flight simulators - there is not much "game" as experience. They are really for train-spotter types. I've tried Ship simulator and one of the truck driving ones (can't remember which one). They are an interesting experience but if your idea of driving fun is only of the GTA variety, then you probably won't enjoy them.



My dad's only gaming enjoyments are flight and driving sims.  He gets a great deal of pleasure from them and has a decent driving wheel controller to sustain his habit for driving games.  His other computing hobby is trying out different versions of Linux.  Personally I'd find all of the above a bit dull, but horses for courses, as they say.


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## fishfinger (Oct 20, 2013)

Epona said:


> Personally I'd find all of the above a bit dull, but horses for courses, as they say.



I understand that. I do indulge in the occasional sim but most of my gaming is a little more adrenaline fuelled


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## red rose (Oct 20, 2013)

For the record, I own Delivery Driver Sim - I thought it would be funny in a kitsch sort of way.

I was dead wrong. It's badly designed, has almost no instructions, lags like fuck and the pedestrians appear to be made of titanium, whilst street lamps are made of crepe paper. I spent an hour trying to work out how to get out of the vehicle and collect the package that I was meant to be delivering before I ragequit.

I know sims can be good, but this is a company that seems to only make badly designed sims of very obscure, tedious things, and remake them each year, saturating the market somewhat. As a business model it fascinates me


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## Epona (Oct 20, 2013)

red rose said:


> For the record, I own Delivery Driver Sim - I thought it would be funny in a kitsch sort of way.
> 
> I was dead wrong. It's badly designed, has almost no instructions, lags like fuck and the pedestrians appear to be made of titanium, whilst street lamps are made of crepe paper. I spent an hour trying to work out how to get out of the vehicle and collect the package that I was meant to be delivering before I ragequit.
> 
> I know sims can be good, but this is a company that seems to only make badly designed sims of very obscure, tedious things, and remake them each year, saturating the market somewhat. As a business model it fascinates me



I'm utterly intrigued to learn that sims with such specific requirements and audiences can turn out to be really really shit and broken - it's a fairly narrow thing that they were aiming to achieve, surely.


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## classicdish (Oct 20, 2013)

Have we had "Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing" yet?


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## classicdish (Oct 20, 2013)

Postal 3 review: http://www.pcgamer.com/review/postal-3-review/


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## Silva (Oct 20, 2013)

red rose said:


> Delivery Truck Simulator
> 
> From the same company you can buy Garbage Truck Simulator, Bus Simulator, Bus Simulator 2, Utility Vehicle Simulator (and expansion pack) Towing Simulator, Underground Mining Simulator, Crane Simulator, Police Simulator 1 and 2, UK Truck Driver, German Truck Driver, Driving Simulator, Demolition Simulator, Demolition Company Gold Edition, Surgery Simulator, Traffic Manager, Train Simulator, Pro Farm 1, Tow Truck Simulator, Farming Simulator 2011 - the platinum edition, Digger Simulator, Stone Quarry Simulator, Forklift Truck Simulator (and expansion pack) Airport Ground Crew Simulator, Ship Simulator, Transport Simulator, Oil Platform Simulator, Chemical Spillage Simulator, Road Construction Simulator, Ports, Bus and Cable Car Simulator, Ski Region Simulator, European Bus Simulator, Scania Truck Driver Simulator, Tanker Truck Simulator, Street Cleaning Simulator, Trucks and Trailers and Euro Truck Gold.
> 
> I mean, _why?_


Euro Truck Simulator 2 (if it's from the same publisher) is _fantastic_.


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## classicdish (Oct 21, 2013)

Charlie Brooker's review of Euro Truck Simulator 1
http://www.computerandvideogames.com/302006/reviews/euro-truck-simulator-review/


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## classicdish (Oct 21, 2013)

"Potato Pushur"
Feed potatoes to a creature! Spit potatoes at other creatures! Agree to the POTATO-CENTRIC EULA You must first read and swear to! Stab farmer to transmogrify them into EVEN MORE POTATOES! Then... find your dream love... so sweet! (NOT sweet potatoes, that is!!!!)


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## Big Gunz (Oct 21, 2013)

Roadwars on the Amiga.  Take "control" of some unresponsive sphere type thing equipped with twin cannons firing at objects while driving along road.  Have a war with no one in particular except maybe your joystick as you bash it in frustration as it fails to do what you want it to do on screen.

And Res Evil 4 and FF7 like wtf?


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## Nine Bob Note (Oct 21, 2013)

*Day One: Garry's Incident *is well on the way to being the most hated game of all time after its publisher insisted a damning review was removed from YT. A search for Wild Games Studio just presented me with a WOT red warning for their homepage.

Reddit

Well done, Internet


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## agricola (Oct 22, 2013)

Kaka Tim said:


> God - frontier was so, so shit.



and yet the Amiga version was one of the best games ever made


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## ViolentPanda (Oct 23, 2013)

The Hobbit for ZX Spectrum 48.

"time passes...." for fuck's sake!!!


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## Nine Bob Note (Oct 23, 2013)

red rose said:


> Delivery Truck Simulator
> 
> 
> 
> ...




See BlueXepho's 'Trucking Tuesday' series on YT


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## fishfinger (Oct 23, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> The Hobbit for ZX Spectrum 48.
> 
> "time passes...." for fuck's sake!!!



You're forgetting about the awesome "Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold"


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## red rose (Oct 23, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> See BlueXepho's 'Trucking Tuesday' series on YT


Excellent 

I have also discovered that there is a whole series of mundane sim/dubstep videos out there


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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 27, 2013)

fishfinger said:


> You're forgetting about the awesome "Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold"


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## fishfinger (Oct 28, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


>




You must have been playing the directors cut - I don't remember him ^^^ being in the original game.


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## FNG (Oct 28, 2013)

The bit where you get instadeath strangled on the way home was the pits,sure it was a bug as the walk through wait two turns between moves made no sense wrt book or adventure


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## FNG (Oct 28, 2013)

And just get in the boat already!


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## Diddly Squat (Nov 4, 2013)

Kizmet said:


> Dragons Lair.


Haha I remember that.

The first (and as far as I knew the only screen) consisted of the character wobbling around on a disk which I would *always* fall off


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