# I hate Charlie Brooker, he's marrying Konnie Huq



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Speechless.  

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news...huq-to-marry-charlie-brooker-115875-22320644/


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## Le Shark (Jun 9, 2010)

Gutted!


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## stupid dogbot (Jun 9, 2010)

Oh, danny. 

It was clearly not meant to be.


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## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

May I be the first to say I hate Konnie Huq


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## 5t3IIa (Jun 9, 2010)

Omg!


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## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

tbf I sort of hated her anyway


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> May I be the first to say I hate Konnie Huq


Good.  Cuts the odds.


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## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

Gorgeous couple who probably make the good good lovin. 

Richard Bacon has to be a little bit gutted today!


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## scifisam (Jun 9, 2010)

I knew a thread like this would be started as I soon as I saw the engagement mentioned on the other Charlie Brooker thread.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

and that is what I call punching above your weight.

hats off.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> and that is what I call punching above your weight.
> 
> hats off.



Which one of them?


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## Captain Hurrah (Jun 9, 2010)

Comes across like a spoilt brat and she has an ickle voice.  However, I wouldn't say no.  I'm fairly confident she would though.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

It won't last.

_I'm_ funny, Konnie.


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## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> Good.  Cuts the odds.



I wasn't really in the market for her anyway so it does you no favours.

Course, _technically_ I wasn't in the market for Brooker either.  But what my boyfriend wouldn't have known wouldn't have hurt him


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## 5t3IIa (Jun 9, 2010)

He's on what I like to call my John Cusack List. Alongside Alastair Campbell.


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## miss minnie (Jun 9, 2010)

> A friend of Konnie said: "They are so happy together and very much in love...



Charlie Brooker happy?  I don't believe it!!! 

I hope he writes the wedding vows himself.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> I wasn't really in the market for her anyway so it does you no favours.
> 
> Course, _technically_ I wasn't in the market for Brooker either.  But what my boyfriend wouldn't have known wouldn't have hurt him


Would Brooker be interested in you?  Can you try?  For me.


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## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

He fell for her willy.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> Which one of them?



Brooker.  Come on.

He has a face of a man who has been set on fire and put out with a shovel.



The thought of a happy Charlie Brooker makes me smile.  I can't get the image of them gambolling through a meadow, holding hands, out of my head.


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## kyser_soze (Jun 9, 2010)

Aww danny.


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## Ibn Khaldoun (Jun 9, 2010)

I do now.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

5t3IIa said:


> Alongside Alastair Campbell.



You sick fuck.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

He needn't think I'm laughing at his remarks any more.  It'll be cold stares at the telly from now on.

And mumbling and tutting.  Lots of tutting.


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## miss minnie (Jun 9, 2010)

Supposing . . . It's time to smother romance in its sleep



> We can medicate depression into oblivion; why not romance?



Ah Charlie, looking forward to your piece on weddings and marriage.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> Brooker.  Come on.
> 
> He has a face of a man who has been set on fire and put out with a shovel.


I'd much rather bed Brooker than Huq.  And I'm a straight male.

Personally I think that Huq, who seems to me to be a perfectly nice person with quite a pretty face who has never struck me with the force of her intelligence, wit, insight or personality, has punched way above HER weight.


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## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> Would Brooker be interested in you?  Can you try?  For me.



I have my charms, but no Blue Peter Badge


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## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> He needn't think I'm laughing at his remarks any more.  It'll be cold stares at the telly from now on.
> 
> And mumbling and tutting.  Lots of tutting.


Bitter mutterings under your breath?


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Bitter muttering under your breath?


Yes.  

Huh.


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## purves grundy (Jun 9, 2010)

I know someone who went out with him once.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I'd much rather bed Brooker than Huq.  And I'm a straight male.
> 
> Personally I think that Huq, who seems to me to be a perfectly nice person with quite a pretty face who has never struck me with the force of her intelligence, wit, insight or personality, has punched way above HER weight.



Ah well, I put it to you, SIR, that Huq's role doesn't allow her to demonstrate the extent of her wit and intelligence, unlike Brooker's, and that the very act of their engagement shows that there are HIDDEN DEPTHS to her as Mr Brooker would not go out with some empty, pretty airhead.

So think on THAT.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

purves grundy said:


> I know someone who went out with him once.


Can you get them back in touch?  Rekindle what they had?


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## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> Ah well, I put it to you, SIR, that Huq's role doesn't allow her to demonstrate the extent of her wit and intelligence, unlike Brooker's, and that the very act of their engagement shows that there are HIDDEN DEPTHS to her as Mr Brooker would not go out with some empty, pretty airhead.
> 
> So think on THAT.



Did he not go out with Aisleyne (Big Brother contestant)?  They might have just been friends I suppose.


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## purves grundy (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> Can you get them back in touch?  Rekindle what they had?



She said he was rather creepy and odd. This was a fair few years ago mind, maybe he's warmed somewhat in the spotlight...


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> Ah well, I put it to you, SIR, that Huq's role doesn't allow her to demonstrate the extent of her wit and intelligence, unlike Brooker's, and that the very act of their engagement shows that there are HIDDEN DEPTHS to her as Mr Brooker would not go out with some empty, pretty airhead.
> 
> So think on THAT.


I have thought on that.  My thoughts are that Huq must have a lot more going for her than I had previously thought, for Brooker to want to marry her.  It has made her go up in my estimation, as has the fact that she wants to marry him.

It's still ridiculous to suggest that it is Brooker that is punching above his weight, though.  As if (a) looks are that important (what is this, the fifth form?); and (b) he looks that awful anyway.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

purves grundy said:


> She said he was rather creepy and odd. This was a fair few years ago mind, maybe he's warmed somewhat in the spotlight...


No, no, no.  This is not helpful.  He needs to be charming and funny.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> Did he not go out with Aisleyne (Big Brother contestant)?  They might have just been friends I suppose.



I think they were just mates.  And Aisleyne is also one of the greatest people on the planet anyway.  There is that to consider too.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I have thought on that.  My thoughts are that Huq must have a lot more going for her than I had previously thought, for Brooker to want to marry her.  It has made her go up in my estimation, as has the fact that she wants to marry him.
> 
> It's still ridiculous to suggest that it is Brooker that is punching above his weight, though.  As if (a) looks are that important (what is this, the fifth form?); and (b) he looks that awful anyway.



God Kabbes, you don't half take everything seriously.

What a party pooper.


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## kyser_soze (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> Ah well, I put it to you, SIR, that Huq's role doesn't allow her to demonstrate the extent of her wit and intelligence, unlike Brooker's, and that the very act of their engagement shows that there are HIDDEN DEPTHS to her as Mr Brooker would not go out with some empty, pretty airhead.
> 
> So think on THAT.



^^This^^

Let us not forget, Ms Huq was reprimanded for offering an opinion in public by her employer.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

Everything IS serious.  EVERYTHING.  Now think on.


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## elevendayempire (Jun 9, 2010)

I love Charlie Brooker all the more now. Why? Because he has proved that yes, an intelligent nerd who's not all that in the looks department can pull the hotties. There is, indeed, hope for us all.


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## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> God Kabbes, you don't half take everything seriously.
> 
> What a party pooper.



He is right.  In fact now that I can't love Charlie any more I might love kabbes instead.

(sorry kabbes)


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## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2010)

What? moany eye-bags like potato sacks brooker is boning Konnie?

Hope for us all.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

kyser_soze said:


> ^^This^^
> 
> Let us not forget, Ms Huq was reprimanded for offering an opinion in public by her employer.


Yes. And I heard her on Radio Scotland, and Fred MacAuley asked her a question then asked her to keep it light since it was an entertainment show.  So there.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> He is right.  In fact now that I can't love Charlie any more I might love kabbes instead.
> 
> (sorry kabbes)


That's OK, it's a very common condition.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> Everything IS serious.  EVERYTHING.  Now think on.



Clowns?

The Beano?


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

elevendayempire said:


> I love Charlie Brooker all the more now. Why? Because he has proved that yes, an intelligent nerd who's not all that in the looks department can pull the hotties. There is, indeed, hope for us all.


But only if she chucks him.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> Clowns?
> 
> The Beano?


Clowns are serious.  I hate clowns.

(Except for my cousin, but she isn't one any more).


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

it's like an american teen movie.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

The Beano is FUCKIN' serious.  All of that child abuse and domestic violence.  My word!


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> it's like an american teen movie.


The Beano?  I haven't seen it for years.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> The Beano?  I haven't seen it for years.



No.  This.  The nerd gets the cheerleader.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> The Beano is FUCKIN' serious.  All of that child abuse and domestic violence.  My word!



Hasn't it changed?  I can't imagine they get away with all that these days.  The Bash St Kids probably speak to each other on facebook or something.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

tommers said:


> Hasn't it changed?  I can't imagine they get away with all that these days.  The Bash St Kids probably speak to each other on facebook or something.



It can never escape the infamy of its infancy.


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## Jeff Robinson (Jun 9, 2010)

This news has made me happy.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2010)

Dennis the Menace is a bullying homophobe. I've told people this before.


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## tommers (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> It can never escape the infamy of its infancy.



Nice.


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## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

This must have been a shock for you over your breakfast table this morning, danny.  I hope Mrs la Rouge and your lovely daughters were suitably sympathetic to your plight.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> This must have been a shock for you over your breakfast table this morning, danny.  I hope Mrs la Rouge and your lovely daughters were suitably sympathetic to your plight.


I've yet to break the news to them.  I found out at work.

(Listen, she fancies Phil off Location, Location.   ).


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> (Listen, she fancies Phil off Location, Location.   ).



You missed a Location.


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## Wolveryeti (Jun 9, 2010)

Konnie Huq is well annoying. I hope Brooker is only marrying her to get material...


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## QueenOfGoths (Jun 9, 2010)

It is only 'cos you are already taken danny, Brooker is obviously a sloppy second!


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> You missed a Location.


It's a nickname.  Like "Corrie".


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## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I've yet to break the news to them.  I found out at work.
> 
> (Listen, she fancies Phil off Location, Location.   ).



Nothing wrong with that. I quite fancy both him and kirsty.

Perhaps they already know and will cook you your favourite dinner tonight.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2010)

I wouldn't touch Kirsty with yours


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> It is only 'cos you are already taken danny, Brooker is obviously a sloppy second!


This has cheered me up.  You go in the People Who Have Been Nice To Me book.  

The rest of you are going in the _other_ one.


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## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> It is only 'cos you are already taken danny, Brooker is obviously a sloppy second!



There you go!  That'll be it. There had to be some logical explanation.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> It's a nickname.  Like "Corrie".



I believe that it's actually spelt "Konnie".


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I believe that it's actually spelt "Konnie".


Konnie Nation Street would be awesome.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Did I say "awesome"?


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

Pitch it.  You could be a billionaire by this time next year.


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## goldenecitrone (Jun 9, 2010)

She's not worth it danny. She obviously wants to mother him whilst simultaneously fucking his brains out. You'd hate it.


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## QueenOfGoths (Jun 9, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> Nothing wrong with that. I quite fancy both him and kirsty.
> 
> Perhaps they already know and will cook you your favourite dinner tonight.



Phil is one of those people who you shouldn't really fancy ...but do 

Kirsty does nothing for me though, she has a strange mouth


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## teuchter (Jun 9, 2010)

Charlie Brooker said:
			
		

> Hands up anyone who's had a great experience with romance. Now put your hands back down and stop lying. Romance never works. Romance never does what it says on the tin. Romance, ultimately, is bullshit.
> If I sound jaded, it's because I am. I'm so sick and tired of love and its pitfalls I can scarcely lift my fingers to type. If love were a product, the queue at the faulty goods desk would stretch right round the universe and back. It doesn't work properly. The seams come apart and it's full of powdered glass.
> 
> Each fresh romance has two potential outcomes: 1. One of you falls heavily, and quickly, until this helpless, unattractive neediness sends the other running for the hills; or 2. by some miracle, your desperate neediness levels balance out, and you stay together for several years - until the love between you withers and dies, at which point one or both of you will stagger away, howling like a wolf with a hook in its gut, wounded beyond reason.
> ...


.


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## MysteryGuest (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> Did I say "awesome"?




dude that is _lame_


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

^^I wonder if he would retract that?


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

goldenecitrone said:


> She's not worth it danny. She obviously wants to mother him whilst simultaneously fucking his brains out. You'd hate it.


I'd like to see.


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## teuchter (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> ^^I wonder if he would retract that?



We do need to know.


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## holteman (Jun 9, 2010)

4 pages and no sexy pics... bastards! 

(not of Brooker you smart arses)


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## fen_boy (Jun 9, 2010)

teuchter said:


> We do need to know.



It was 4 years ago mind.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

MysteryGuest said:


> dude that is _lame_


My kids would be proud, though. 

My youngest once called a fire extinguisher by a door in the Burrell Collection "awesome".


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> My youngest once called a fire extinguisher by a door in the Burrell Collection "awesome".


The room was on fire at the time, mind.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

holteman said:


> 4 pages and no sexy pics... bastards!
> 
> (not of Brooker you smart arses)


It's only 2 pages.  Tradition suggests the next page may bear fruit.

ETA: Ah.  I'm on the third page now.


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## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

teuchter said:


> .



That's the first thing to _almost _ make me shed a tear since my break up. 

*goes back to being hard and unfeeling*


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## Spion (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> Did he not go out with Aisleyne (Big Brother contestant)?


Yes, and after knowing that I always wondered, reading his columns, if he used them to flirt in print with women he fancied. He long ago declared how much he fancied Konnie in them


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## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

The world makes a little less sense to me now 

No chance it's a Dale Winton/Nell McAndrew style stunt? None?


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## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> The world makes a little less sense to me now
> 
> No chance it's a _*Dale Winton/Nell McAndrew*_ style stunt? None?



*Snort*

Pics or that didnt happen!


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## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

What do I win?


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> What do I win?


He's the best man!


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> The world makes a little less sense to me now


Why?  Is this the first time you've ever come across the concept that many women find funny men desirable?


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## scifisam (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> He's the best man!



And you derided your Mrs for _her_ tastes.


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## holteman (Jun 9, 2010)

have to do everything my bloody self...


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)




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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> Why?  Is this the first time you've ever come across the concept that many women find funny men desirable?


I've often heard the missus explaining that's what attracted her to me.  A bit too often, now I think of it.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

scifisam said:


> And you derided your Mrs for _her_ tastes.


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## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> Why?  Is this the first time you've ever come across the concept that many women find funny men desirable?


Sir, my parents are counting on that concept for their grandchildren.

To be honest it's more the other way round. Of course I'm sure there's more to it than we know, but being hoenst, can you think of many more contrasting public images?


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I've often heard the missus explaining that's what attracted her to me.  A bit too often, now I think of it.



Yeah, ditto.  It creates a lot of pressure, actually, to ensure that the funny level is maintained.  Not easy when your spouse has already heard your best lines about fifty times.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> Sir, my parents are counting on that concept for their grandchildren.
> 
> To be honest it's more the other way round. Of course I'm sure there's more to it than we know, but being hoenst, can you think of many more contrasting public images?



Yeah, that's what I was saying earlier, actually, that Huq has punched above her weight.  It gives me more respect for her, that she obviously has something about her that Brooker wants to marry!


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## Captain Hurrah (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> Yeah, ditto.  It creates a lot of pressure, actually, to ensure that the funny level is maintained.  Not easy when your spouse has already heard your best lines about fifty times.



No spouse, but that is so true.


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## mrsfran (Jun 9, 2010)




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## trevhagl (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I'd much rather bed Brooker than Huq.  And I'm a straight male.
> 
> Personally I think that Huq, who seems to me to be a perfectly nice person with quite a pretty face who has never struck me with the force of her intelligence, wit, insight or personality, has punched way above HER weight.



will he still be able to do jokes like "Adrian Chiles has left the One Show leaving behind an enormous void on the sofa, sitting by herself" ?????


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 9, 2010)

Looks like it's going to be a Mexican themed wedding... http://scrapetv.com/News/News Pages/Sports/images/sombrero-straw-mexican-hat.jpg


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

trevhagl said:


> will he still be able to do jokes like "Adrian Chiles has left the One Show leaving behind an enormous void on the sofa, sitting by herself" ?????



Is Konnie Huq the presenter on the One Show?


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## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2010)

Christine Bleakely?


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

DotCommunist said:


> Christine Bleakely?


Gesundheit.


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## mrsfran (Jun 9, 2010)

I've no idea what she sees in the intelligent, funny, caustic, immensely well-respected and successful millionnaire.


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## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

missfran said:


> I've no idea what she sees in the intelligent, funny, caustic, immensely well-respected and successful millionnaire.



Maybe she saw that photo of him in a dinner suit and bonnet?


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## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

Millionaire you say?


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## Biglittlefish (Jun 9, 2010)

Wow, she always seemed a bit dim. But hearing this kind of makes me fancy her.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

The wedding is postponed, according to the Metro.


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## scifisam (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> The wedding is postponed, according to the Metro.



Tsk, tsk, kabbes, not reading the link Danny provided.


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## Wookey (Jun 9, 2010)

I'm glad for Charlie Brooker, because he's a prince amongst men.

But the first time I saw Konnie Huq she was on BP, and she was fucking dreadful - I imagine she's got better over time, but first impressions and all that!

Still, you gotta love the love. Good luck to the pair.


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## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

scifisam said:


> Tsk, tsk, kabbes, not reading the link Danny provided.


I read the headline and assumed that was enough, given that it was the Mirror.  Have I posted old news then?


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## scifisam (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I read the headline and assumed that was enough, given that it was the Mirror.  Have I posted old news then?



Yup. The Mirror's better than the Metro, anyway, though that's like saying farts are better than burps.


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## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

I am happy for them both. Dara O' Briain must be gutted, however...


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## FoxyRed (Jun 9, 2010)

I dont know who Charlie Brooker is and Im not joking!


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## Teaboy (Jun 9, 2010)

FoxyRed said:


> I dont know who Charlie Brooker is and Im not joking!



Do you know who Konnie Huq is?


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## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

FoxyRed said:


> I dont know who Charlie Brooker is and Im not joking!



He's an old friend of Danny's from school.  He has previous when it comes to stepping over danny to get to the girl.


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## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

FoxyRed said:


> I dont know who Charlie Brooker is and Im not joking!



Intelligent, angry, telly critic. Also writes for the guardian. Recommend.


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## FoxyRed (Jun 9, 2010)

Teaboy said:


> Do you know who Konnie Huq is?



Yes, indian lady from blue peter...


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## Teaboy (Jun 9, 2010)

FoxyRed said:


> Yes, indian lady from blue peter...



Well Charlie Brooker is her husband to be.

Sorted, next!


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## FoxyRed (Jun 9, 2010)

jer said:


> Intelligent, angry, telly critic. Also writes for the guardian. Recommend.



Ahhh ok! Thanks


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## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

FoxyRed said:


> Ahhh ok! Thanks



Not everyone's cup of tea but he makes me laugh. A lot.

Still, it's only a matter of time before the Brooker backlash kicks in


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## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

FoxyRed said:


> Yes, indian lady from blue peter...



She is in fact the British Bangladeshi woman from Blue Peter - HTH


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## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

FoxyRed said:


> Yes, indian lady from blue peter...



She's of Bangladeshi descent, hactually. 



Also she's got a 2.1 in economics from Cambridge.  Brooker does not appear to have graduated from the BA in Media Studies course he was on at some Poly somewhere.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2010)

^^^snob


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## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Innit, even this beautiful union isn't free from the class war


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## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> Innit, even this beautiful union isn't free from the class war



The British are obssessed with class.

How frightfully vulgar.


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## marty21 (Jun 9, 2010)

5t3IIa said:


> Omg!



that was my first reaction, followed by a WTF?


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## Biglittlefish (Jun 9, 2010)

Imagine it will be slightly harder for him to make cutting comments about the xfactor now.


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## Teaboy (Jun 9, 2010)

I'm a little surprised by this.  I remember seeing her interviewed after the Olympic torch fiasco and she came across as a bit vacuous and lightweight.  I wonder what he see's in her?


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## Santino (Jun 9, 2010)

Teaboy said:


> I'm a little surprised by this.  I remember seeing her interviewed after the Olympic torch fiasco and she came across as a bit vacuous and lightweight.  I wonder what he see's in her?



Apparently she's really hot on the correct use of apostrophes.


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## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

Teaboy said:


> I'm a little surprised by this.  I remember seeing her interviewed after the Olympic torch fiasco and she came across as a bit vacuous and lightweight.  I wonder what he see's in her?



Love?


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## Jackobi (Jun 9, 2010)

Where is the "Who the fuck is Charlie Brooker?" poll option?


----------



## Teaboy (Jun 9, 2010)

Santino said:


> Apparently she's really hot on the correct use of apostrophes.



I bet she aint


----------



## Santino (Jun 9, 2010)

Jackobi said:


> Where is the "Who the fuck is Charlie Brooker?" poll option?



On another thread that isn't about Charlie Brooker.


----------



## Gingerman (Jun 9, 2010)

Jeeze they kept that quiet,fuckin spawny git


----------



## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

Teaboy said:


> I'm a little surprised by this.  I remember seeing her interviewed after the Olympic torch fiasco and she came across as a bit vacuous and lightweight.  I wonder what he see's in her?


Can I ask why you thought she was vacuous? You arent the first on the thread to have that impression. 

Even if people are unaware that she's a Cambridge grad, Im struggling to see how she could be seen as dim, bland possibly, but not dim.  Of course, that said Mylene Klass is accomplished out the arse...


----------



## Teaboy (Jun 9, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Can I ask why you thought she was vacuous?
> 
> You arent the first on the thread to have that impression. Even if people are unaware that she's a Cambridge grad, Im struggling to see how she could be seen as dim, bland possibly, but not dim.
> 
> Of course, that said Mylene Klass is accomplished out the arse...



I didnt say she isnt intelligent.  The interview she gave after the Olympic Torch shambles was a bit 

'oh noes the Chinese Government do bad things?  No one told me lol'.


----------



## maldwyn (Jun 9, 2010)

How exciting I love celebrity couples, good luck to them. Will they do a Hello wedding spread - or a Big Issue special.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

I've never _heard_ her say anything intelligent.  But it's possible that she was just being very guarded and/or closely handled.


----------



## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

^^^She did all the important 'lets talk to the kids about something serious' bits on Blue Peter for years. Ooof that sounds a bit weak!  But honestly  she did some decent journalism there. 



Teaboy said:


> I didnt say she isnt intelligent.  The interview she gave after the Olympic Torch shambles was a bit
> 
> 'oh noes the Chinese Government do bad things?  No one told me lol'.



Oh I remember her getting bundled over! 

I was just puzzled as to why/ how people got that impression from her. 
Possibly she has failed to capitalise on the excellent work she did on Blue Peter?


----------



## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

I don't think I said that I had the impression she was stupid.  Just that she'd never struck me as intelligent.

I had filed her in that bland middle ground so beloved of plastic presenters across the media.


----------



## Geri (Jun 9, 2010)

I can't believe he is only 39 - he looks about 50!


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I don't think I said that I had the impression she was stupid.  Just that she'd never struck me as intelligent.
> 
> I had filed her in that bland middle ground so beloved of plastic presenters across the media.



I'd like to see Brooker present Blue Peter


----------



## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

She used to go out with Richard Bacon, so I file her in the same "nob" ground as him.

full disclosure - my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is mates with Richard and apparently he is a wanker.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> She used to go out with Richard Bacon, so I file her in the same "nob" ground as him.
> 
> full disclosure - my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is mates with Richard and apparently he is a wanker.



Must be true then


----------



## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

If my boyfriend says so, it is so


----------



## mrsfran (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I don't think I said that I had the impression she was stupid. Just that she'd never struck me as intelligent.
> 
> I had filed her in that bland middle ground so beloved of plastic presenters across the media.


 

Did you not see the Screenwipe faux-mission-documentary she did? That was pretty spot on and funny, I had respect for her after that.


----------



## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I don't think I said that I had the impression she was stupid.  Just that she'd never struck me as intelligent.
> 
> I had filed her in that bland middle ground so beloved of plastic presenters across the media.



Perhaps you're right, she's just booked herself that X factor gig apparently, which really isnt the direction I thought she would go. She's a cut above and would have been decent as a news journalist.


----------



## krtek a houby (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> If my boyfriend says so, it is so



If you say so


----------



## Cid (Jun 9, 2010)

I think you'll understand the match better if you watch the episode of screenwipe she features in...


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Jun 9, 2010)

I want to like Ms Huq - she seems very nice and all - but the Chinese olympic touch debacle was pretty  and her future xtra factor presentership is cause for concern - the show is about as anti-Brooker as they come. Is Charlton flying too close to the sun on the wings of lust?


----------



## D'wards (Jun 9, 2010)

*Charlie Brooker to marry Konnie Huq*

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...3370/Konnie-Huq-to-marry-Charlie-Brooker.html

Get in there, my son.

That is all.


----------



## ddraig (Jun 9, 2010)

already done in a wailing fashion


----------



## mrsfran (Jun 9, 2010)

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=326615


----------



## pogofish (Jun 9, 2010)

Ahem:

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=326615

How about a wee search first?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Duuuuuuuuude


----------



## D'wards (Jun 9, 2010)

pogofish said:


> How about a wee search first?



Never!!!


----------



## Maggot (Jun 9, 2010)

pogofish said:


> Ahem:
> 
> http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=326615
> 
> How about a wee search first?




That thread has a really useless title, impossible to tell what it's about from the title or the OP. 



Charlie Brooker is a jammy git. Why does Konnie want to be with someone as ugly and miserable as him?


But that screenwipe episode with Konnie in was one of the funniest things ever.


----------



## YouSir (Jun 9, 2010)

One of the few 'sleb' marriages where I actually wish them well, even if my deep-rooted crush on Konnie Huq is now that much more unlikely to come to anything.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Geri said:


> I can't believe he is only 39 - he looks about 50!


I know!  Whereas I look 50, but I'm actually 45, so that's closer to my actual age!  Konnie, I hope you're reading this.


----------



## pogofish (Jun 9, 2010)

Maggot said:


> That thread has a really useless title, impossible to tell what it's about from the title or the OP.



Try sticking "Brooker Huq" into search and see what comes up first then.


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

pogofish said:


> Try sticking "Brooker Huq" into search and see what comes up first then.



I just did that and the only one was ''bloody annoying tv personalities''

That said, it happens every lunchtime; someone comes and starts a thread as if they are telling us morning slackers something new.


----------



## selamlar (Jun 9, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> I just did that and the only one was ''bloody annoying tv personalities''



Woah woah woah.  Don't talk about Konnie like that! 

<dons nice shiny white armour>


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

D'wards said:


> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...3370/Konnie-Huq-to-marry-Charlie-Brooker.html
> 
> Get in there, my son.
> 
> That is all.


We fucking know.  Alright?


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Are we going to have to come up with a new portmanteau now they're an official sleb couple?

Chonnie? Karlie? Kolie? Chuq?

I need to know


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

selamlar said:


> Woah woah woah.  Don't talk about Kobbie like that!
> 
> <dons nice shiny white armour>



Have you got a cold?


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> Are we going to have to come up with a new portmanteau now they're an official sleb couple?
> 
> Chonnie? Karlie? Kolie? Chuq?
> 
> I need to know



Krooker?  

Chucker?


----------



## cesare (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> We fucking know.  Alright?


----------



## selamlar (Jun 9, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> Have you got a cold?



No.  It seems my auto spell thingy has gone mental again, and I didn't notice.  It also keeps trying to capitalise 'white'.  I'm going closet supremasist programmer, myself.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Actually, I'm a little surprised that Brooker's going for the whole 'marriage' thing. As the product of a right-on Guardian-reading live-in partnership I guess I always figured he wouldn't be one to take a lady up the aisle.

Oh come on, as if that were beneath him 

e2a: that sentence started out as a semi-serious point btw, before it decended into smut.


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I know!  Whereas I look 50, but I'm actually 45, so that's closer to my actual age!  Konnie, I hope you're reading this.



Pics or GTFO! 


Preferably in a dj and bonnet.


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> We fucking know.  Alright?



I see you've used alright rather than all right.


----------



## kyser_soze (Jun 9, 2010)

> I guess I always figured he wouldn't be one to take a lady up the aisle.



I don't think ex-BP presenters are allowed to do that sort of thing.


----------



## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> e2a: that sentence started out as a semi-serious point btw, before it decended into smut.


Thats not like you.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> I see you've used alright rather than all right.


I was under stress.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Thats not like you.


It wasn't even fucking original smut


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Woah, sneak merge


----------



## Crispy (Jun 9, 2010)

Threads merged. THIS is why you should give your threads clear and informative titles


----------



## cesare (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> Woah, sneak merge



And sneak title change


----------



## Chairman Meow (Jun 9, 2010)

I'm gutted. It'll never last.


----------



## Echo Base (Jun 9, 2010)

elevendayempire said:


> I love Charlie Brooker all the more now. Why? Because he has proved that yes, an intelligent nerd who's not all that in the looks department can pull the hotties. There is, indeed, hope for us all.



...as long as they have a TV show and a column in the Guardian. Im pretty sure this wouldnt be happening if Brooker worked in Clarkes.


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

Two good threads become one rubbish one. 

Listen on, Charlie and Konnie!


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Crispy said:


> Threads merged. THIS is why you should give your threads clear and informative titles


While I still agree with the point at large, the second OP clearly stated there wasn't even the sniff of an initial search.

Surely the thread title doesn't matter if people do a quick search as that will pull up anything with those terms in the body text too 

/derail (Sorry )


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> Pics or GTFO!
> 
> 
> Preferably in a dj and bonnet.


I'm not hiring a dinner jacket for a picture for here.  There's a picture of me wearing a fleece on the Ugly Mug hread.  For those who didn't see it, I look a bit like Audrey Hepburn with a goatee.


----------



## cesare (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I'm not hiring a dinner jacket for a picture for here.  There's a picture of me wearing a fleece on the Ugly Mug hread.  For those who didn't see it, I look a bit like Audrey Hepburn with a goatee.



An _auburn _Audrey Hepburn with a goatee, shurley.


----------



## Maidmarian (Jun 9, 2010)

Never mind danny, it could be worse ------ he MAY even have been MEXICAN !


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Crispy said:


> Threads merged. THIS is why you should give your threads clear and informative titles


My title was apposite, concise, and precise.  And that should be a semicolon. It's bureaucracy stifling artistic expression is what it is.


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I'm not hiring a dinner jacket for a picture for here.  There's a picture of me wearing a fleece on the Ugly Mug hread.  For those who didn't see it, I look a bit like Audrey Hepburn with a goatee.



Then perhaps a dress instead?


----------



## Gingerman (Jun 9, 2010)

http://www.startrip.tv/images/2008/12/04/konnie_huq.jpg
Like I said,spawney git


----------



## Notorious J.I.M (Jun 9, 2010)

I don't think it's any more of an odd match than Russell Brand and Katy Perry, good on them managing to keep it under wraps for 9 months though. I'm not annoyed btw, good luck to them.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 9, 2010)

He's too good for her, if anything.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Jun 9, 2010)

Other recent developments: Stewart Lee to marry Myleene Klass, Chris Morris engaged to Christine Bleakley and David Mitchell to wed Little Boots. u cudNT macke iT u p!!1


----------



## Maggot (Jun 9, 2010)

Crispy said:


> Threads merged. THIS is why you should give your threads clear and informative titles





cesare said:


> And sneak title change


My post doesn't make any sense now.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Maggot said:


> My post doesn't make any sense now.


They never think of this, do they?  Those meddling mods!


----------



## Cid (Jun 9, 2010)

Cid said:


> I think you'll understand the match better if you watch the episode of screenwipe she features in...



'scuse me while I quote my own post to negate the merge factor.


----------



## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Other recent developments: Stewart Lee to marry Myleene Klass, Chris Morris engaged to Christine Bleakley and David Mitchell to wed Little Boots. u cudNT macke iT u p!!1


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Interesting that it was _her_ spokesperson that announced it.

Veeeeery interesting indeed...  :strokeychinsmiley:


----------



## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> Interesting that it was _her_ spokesperson that announced it.
> 
> Veeeeery interesting indeed...  :strokeychinsmiley:


Still mooting your Dale Winton theory?


----------



## elevendayempire (Jun 9, 2010)

The biggest question is, of course, who will be best man? Chris Morris would do a killer speech...


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Still mooting your Dale Winton theory?


CONSPIRACY!!


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 9, 2010)

What? More like: I hate Konnie Huq, she's marrying Charlie Brooker, with his lovely big sneering brain.


----------



## Wolveryeti (Jun 9, 2010)

The U75 rehabilitation of Konnie Huq is somewhat remarkable. I seem to remember her being heavily namechecked in nary a KILL THEM IN THE FACE thread.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

fakeplasticgirl said:


> What? More like: I hate Konnie Huq, she's marrying Charlie Brooker, with his lovely big sneering brain.


Yes, well, you and I could work together on this, to both our advantages.


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I'd much rather bed Brooker than Huq.  And I'm a straight male.
> 
> Personally I think that Huq, who seems to me to be a perfectly nice person with quite a pretty face who has never struck me with the force of her intelligence, wit, insight or personality, has punched way above HER weight.



i suppose huq can't be stupid, she's got a degree in economics from cambridge. but still: jealous


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

Wolveryeti said:


> The U75 rehabilitation of Konnie Huq is somewhat remarkable. I seem to remember her heavily namechecked in nary a KILL THEM IN THE FACE thread.


So she wasn't name-checked?


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> Yes, well, you and I could work together on this, to both our advantages.



yeah, we can.. what? kill them? that wouldn't work! got to think through these plans more!


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2010)

A degree in economics does not mean you can't be a fucking idiot. It just means you can quite creatively express your idiocy through the medium of numbers.


----------



## cesare (Jun 9, 2010)

DotCommunist said:


> A degree in economics does not mean you can't be a fucking idiot. It just means you can quite creatively express your idiocy through the medium of numbers.



utter kabbes


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

fakeplasticgirl said:


> yeah, we can.. what? kill them? that wouldn't work! got to think through these plans more!


Split them up, of course!


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 9, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> Split them up, of course!



By... killing them?


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 9, 2010)

miss minnie said:


> Supposing . . . It's time to smother romance in its sleep
> 
> 
> 
> Ah Charlie, looking forward to your piece on weddings and marriage.



Brilliant article  can't stop laughing. it's funny cos it's true...


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 9, 2010)

fakeplasticgirl said:


> By... killing them?




I can see a flaw.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jun 9, 2010)

I am putting this thread on ignore _such_ is my disgust at the title change.


----------



## Diamond (Jun 9, 2010)

Bit of a surprise.

Blue Peter meets Screenwipe.

There's definitely something to it...


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

"Here's one I ripped to shreds in a vitriolic fury earlier"


----------



## kabbes (Jun 9, 2010)

cesare said:


> utter kabbes


----------



## teuchter (Jun 9, 2010)

Has this thread fallen victim to title meddling, then?

I thought the authorities had agreed to step down on this policy.


----------



## cesare (Jun 9, 2010)

kabbes said:


>


----------



## maldwyn (Jun 9, 2010)

Title meddling is creepy.


----------



## discokermit (Jun 9, 2010)

brooker is just a fucking hypocrite gobshite.

huq is literally a torch bearer for the chinese government and a nobhead. and she can't dance. and i stepped on her foot on purpose once.

telly cunts.


----------



## maldwyn (Jun 9, 2010)

Talk about taking your work home with you!


----------



## Divisive Cotton (Jun 9, 2010)

i bet you couldn't pull her so you stood on her foot in spite


----------



## lopsidedbunny (Jun 9, 2010)

who the fuck Charlie Brooker everytime I see her I am always reminded of the Police and the Chinese .

Never forget the Poilce plus the Runner running across "that bridge" with the fireworks going off. Class!


----------



## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

title trashing shitfoots 

(shit_feet_?)


----------



## Melinda (Jun 9, 2010)

discokermit said:


> *huq is literally a torch bearer for the chinese government *and a nobhead. and she can't dance. and i stepped on her foot on purpose once.
> 
> telly cunts.


----------



## discokermit (Jun 9, 2010)

Divisive Cotton said:


> i bet you couldn't pull her so you stood on her foot in spite


it was at a stevie wonder bbc gig. she stood right behind me, less than thirty feet away from stevie and _talked_ through the whole thing to the twat next to her and didn't dance. such utter disrespect to an absolute genius.


i don't know why she even went. there was only room for about three hundred people, the tickets were very difficult to get hold of. 

oh! i know! it's because it was free. fucking vacuous telly cunt.


----------



## StanSmith (Jun 9, 2010)

discokermit said:


> it was at a stevie wonder bbc gig. she stood right behind me, less than thirty feet away from stevie and _talked_ through the whole thing to the twat next to her and didn't dance. such utter disrespect to an absolute genius.
> 
> 
> i don't know why she even went. there was only room for about three hundred people, the tickets were very difficult to get hold of.
> ...



I fucking hate gig free-loaders, you should have trod on her other foot as well just to reward her cheapness.


----------



## discokermit (Jun 9, 2010)

StanSmith said:


> I fucking hate gig free-loaders, you should have trod on her other foot as well just to reward her cheapness.


if i wasn't such a gentleman, stan, i woulda punched her in the neck.


----------



## ernestolynch (Jun 9, 2010)

Konnie Huq is 100% fit


----------



## StanSmith (Jun 9, 2010)

ernestolynch said:


> Konnie Huq is 100% fit



Yeah I think she is nice but rattling on through a gig is a pain in the arse, unless she is asking what I want from the bar.


----------



## innit (Jun 9, 2010)

discokermit said:


> it was at a stevie wonder bbc gig. she stood right behind me, less than thirty feet away from stevie and _talked_ through the whole thing to the twat next to her and didn't dance. such utter disrespect to an absolute genius.
> 
> 
> i don't know why she even went. there was only room for about three hundred people, the tickets were very difficult to get hold of.
> ...



you give good diatribe


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

Perhaps Charlie will make her a better person.  And when he's finished Danny can steal her away.


----------



## discokermit (Jun 9, 2010)

innit said:


> you give good diatribe


impotent rage is my speciality.


----------



## spanglechick (Jun 9, 2010)

Lord Camomile said:


> Are we going to have to come up with a new portmanteau now they're an official sleb couple?
> 
> Chonnie? Karlie? Kolie? Chuq?
> 
> I need to know





quimcunx said:


> Krooker?
> 
> Chucker?



Huquer / Hooquer / Hooker, surely has most comedy mileage.


----------



## Lord Camomile (Jun 9, 2010)

spanglechick said:


> Huquer / Hooquer / Hooker, surely has most comedy mileage.


Aye, but I didn't want to be mean


----------



## weltweit (Jun 9, 2010)

I recon she is better looking than he is!!


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 9, 2010)

Weltweit.  Urban's new voice of reason.


----------



## radio_atomica (Jun 9, 2010)

Bizarrely, I am not as saddened by this as I should be.  I do love Brooker though, well, until the fringe incident when it became clear that he had got himself a girlfriend...


----------



## cesare (Jun 9, 2010)

weltweit said:


>



Chalk stripe anything = mark of a wanker. Konnie  You could have had danny


----------



## Espresso (Jun 9, 2010)

In all the photos I've seen of them since this became a talking point seem to suggest that he's been ridden hard and put away wet and that she's not got a vest to her name.

Match made in heaven. Good luck to 'em.


----------



## elevendayempire (Jun 9, 2010)

spanglechick said:


> Huquer / Hooquer / Hooker, surely has most comedy mileage.


Brook-Huq?


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 9, 2010)

discokermit said:


> huq is literally a torch bearer for the chinese government



this is true


----------



## N_igma (Jun 9, 2010)

She is fit though.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jun 9, 2010)

this is also true.
despicable but hot women trouble me.


----------



## rollinder (Jun 10, 2010)

kabbes said:


> ^^I wonder if he would retract that?



what about the article full of him insisting how much he doesn't want a wife (instead going for a mop with eyes or bag of gravel) 

wonder if the wedding will be up a mountain/hillside and sound tracked by Elbow (pissing men optional)


----------



## Diamond (Jun 10, 2010)

And the next day it is still true...


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 10, 2010)

http://property.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/property/article4389784.ece

why the FUCK was this article published? She sounds... simple. Is konnie huq simple?


----------



## gabi (Jun 10, 2010)

surely this is a wind-up?


----------



## scifisam (Jun 10, 2010)

fakeplasticgirl said:


> http://property.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/property/article4389784.ece
> 
> why the FUCK was this article published? She sounds... simple. Is konnie huq simple?



It's not that bad, but it does show that Konnie Huq appears to be the only buy-to-let landlord who's popular on Urban.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 10, 2010)

It's consistent with my previous thoughts on her -- there's nothing that strikes me as particularly intelligent about her.  She can learn well enough to take exams and she's clearly not stupid or anything, but there's no evidence of insightfulness or deeper understanding.  She's content to do quite well at stuff and not question it any further than that.  She seems nice enough but lacks the empathy needed for a real humanitarian.

Good luck to her, I suppose.  Inoffensive, certainly.  But I can't help thinking there must me more to her than that, for Brooker to want to marry her.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 10, 2010)

scifisam said:


> It's not that bad, but it does show that Konnie Huq appears to be the only buy-to-let landlord who's popular on Urban.



*Ahem*.





Oh, you said _popular_


----------



## scifisam (Jun 10, 2010)

kabbes said:


> *Ahem*.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I actually thought of you.  But I thought you bought a place to live in and then let it out later.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 10, 2010)

No, we bought a flat to let it out in blatant contravention of all that is right and good in this world.  We did so in a market segment that is specifically targetting those who actually _want _to rent for various reasons (three tenants so far and all have been homeowners for whom a rent suited them at this point in their life), so we're not taking advantage of those with no choice.  But I can't pretend that we aren't part of the marketplace.


----------



## fakeplasticgirl (Jun 10, 2010)

scifisam said:


> It's not that bad, but it does show that Konnie Huq appears to be the only buy-to-let landlord who's popular on Urban.



She just sounds... offensively boring? (not like me, charlie... HAHAHAHAHA)


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 10, 2010)

kabbes said:


> I But I can't help thinking there must me more to her than that, for Brooker to want to marry her.



maybe she is proper dirt in bed


----------



## kabbes (Jun 10, 2010)

It's a thought, certainly.

Mind you, sounds like they've only been going out nine months.  If that's the reason then he might want to hold back a bit...


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 10, 2010)

I broke the news of this engament to Mrs La Rouge on the phone yesterday. She was amused. 

The children, whom I told yesterday evening, were more sympathetic.  The older one, though, suggested it was never going to happen between me and Konnie "You do know that, don't you, Dad?"

Teenagers!  I remember when she thought I could do anything.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jun 10, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I broke the news of this engament to Mrs La Rouge on the phone yesterday. She was amused.
> 
> The children, whom I told yesterday evening, were more sympathetic.  *The older one, though, suggested it was never going to happen between me and Konnie "You do know that, don't you, Dad?"*
> 
> Teenagers!  I remember when she thought I could do anything.



I would remember that and take punitive action the next time she wants to bring a boyfriend home


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## danny la rouge (Jun 10, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I would remember that and take punitive action the next time she wants to bring a boyfriend home


Oh, don't worry.  I keep a record.


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## revol68 (Jun 10, 2010)

Gutted, I love Konnie.


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## Jeff Robinson (Jun 10, 2010)

> I have invested in property – I’ve got two houses in west London and I am keen to buy more. I like the idea of buying things and doing them up, but the market’s not that great at the moment, so I’m waiting before I decide what to do next.



Right, I've tried really, really hard to like Konnie but first there was Torchgate (uurgh fuck it), then the Xtra Factor (just uurgh) thing and now this^^^. Three strikes and she's out. Ditch her Charlie!


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## strung out (Jun 10, 2010)

i would shag her, but i wouldn't marry her. shame on you brooker.


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## mauvais (Jun 10, 2010)

I'm glad the thread title for this has been changed. At first I was like, 'Danny's hate might be interesting but I expect given this fairly open subject it will be on too broad a subject to really engage with me, so I shan't bother opening it', but now, I'm like 'well, the added clarification has helped me rework my calculation in this regard, and I shall definitely spend some of my valuable timedollars perusing Mr Rouge's more neatly refined niche thread offerings', so here I am.


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## tastebud (Jun 10, 2010)

wtf!? what a weird match!


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## discokermit (Jun 10, 2010)

strung_out said:


> i would shag her, but i wouldn't marry her. shame on you brooker.


i would marry her but i wouldn't shag her. just out of spite.


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## elevendayempire (Jun 11, 2010)

elevendayempire said:


> Brook-Huq?


No, wait, CharlKon.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 11, 2010)

mauvais said:


> I'm glad the thread title for this has been changed. At first I was like, 'Danny's hate might be interesting but I expect given this fairly open subject it will be on too broad a subject to really engage with me, so I shan't bother opening it', but now, I'm like 'well, the added clarification has helped me rework my calculation in this regard, and I shall definitely spend some of my valuable timedollars perusing Mr Rouge's more neatly refined niche thread offerings', so here I am.





(I recommend point-and-hover, btw, if you don't already know this fantastic function).


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## Xanadu (Jun 12, 2010)

elevendayempire said:


> I love Charlie Brooker all the more now. Why? Because he has proved that yes, an intelligent nerd who's not all that in the looks department can pull the hotties. There is, indeed, hope for us all.



But I'm dumb and ugly.  What hope is there for me???!!!


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## quimcunx (Jun 12, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I broke the news of this engament to Mrs La Rouge on the phone yesterday. She was amused.
> 
> The children, whom I told yesterday evening, were more sympathetic.  The older one, though, suggested it was never going to happen between me and Konnie "You do know that, don't you, Dad?"
> 
> Teenagers!  I remember when she thought I could do anything.



I prefer my image of you weeping on the kitchen floor with Mrs la Rouge and the rougettes taking turns stroking your hair and assuring you it will never last.


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## Maggot (Jun 12, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Right, I've tried really, really hard to like Konnie but first there was Torchgate (uurgh fuck it), then the Xtra Factor (just uurgh) thing and now this^^^. Three strikes and she's out. Ditch her Charlie!


Would you ditch her?


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## Spanky Longhorn (Jun 12, 2010)

Fairplay to Brooker the lucky cunt.


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## belboid (Jun 12, 2010)

scifisam said:


> It's not that bad, but it does show that Konnie Huq appears to be the only buy-to-let landlord who's popular on Urban.



it doesnt mention her letting either of them out at all tho


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## scifisam (Jun 12, 2010)

belboid said:


> it doesnt mention her letting either of them out at all tho



Is she living in both of them, then?


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## Jeff Robinson (Jun 12, 2010)

Maggot said:


> Would you ditch her?



Being me obviously not because I'd wouldn't get her in the first place. If I was Brooker I would because he's got legions of would-be female groupies anyway and among them would be many better people than Konnie Huq, if not as attractive, rich or famous.


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## belboid (Jun 12, 2010)

scifisam said:


> Is she living in both of them, then?



I heard she'd turned it into a gerbil sanctuary


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## King Biscuit Time (Jul 27, 2010)

belboid said:


> it doesnt mention her letting either of them out at all tho


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## Corax (Jul 27, 2010)

WTF Brooker?

Is he doing it ironically or something?


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## sam/phallocrat (Jul 27, 2010)

King Biscuit Time said:


>


 
nice bump


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 27, 2010)

I bet they're both happy. She's found a brain, he's found a (sort of) looker. She's no Romana D'Annunzio, mind.


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## strung out (Jul 27, 2010)

she's no Romanadvoratrelundar either


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 27, 2010)

strung_out said:


> she's no Romanadvoratrelundar either



When did _she_ present Blue Peter?


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## trashpony (Jul 27, 2010)

How depressing. Smart funny man marries dim but pretty woman


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## feyr (Jul 27, 2010)

she's not dim as such. although she does seem to have chosen main stream appeal/popularity over integrity in her career choices


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## Fullyplumped (Jul 27, 2010)

feyr said:


> she's not dim as such. although she does seem to have chosen main stream appeal/popularity over integrity in her career choices


 
In what way is being a TV presenter lacking in integrity? What kind of work ought she to do to meet your standards of integrity? 

Her sister is a lecturer in sociology, long-time political activist and blogger, and deputy mayoress of the community in which she lives. Is that better?


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 27, 2010)

trashpony said:


> How depressing. Smart funny man marries dim but pretty woman



Balls. I don't believe he'd go for her if she was just bonny. There's got to be _some_ substance. Plus, she's not that dim.


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## Kid_Eternity (Jul 27, 2010)

Fullyplumped said:


> In what way is being a TV presenter lacking in integrity? What kind of work ought she to do to meet your standards of integrity?
> 
> Her sister is a lecturer in sociology, long-time political activist and blogger, and deputy mayoress of the community in which she lives. Is that better?


 
Didn't she appease the chinese over something?


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## strung out (Jul 27, 2010)

Fullyplumped said:


> In what way is being a TV presenter lacking in integrity? What kind of work ought she to do to meet your standards of integrity?
> 
> Her sister is a lecturer in sociology, long-time political activist and blogger, and deputy mayoress of the community in which she lives. Is that better?


 
i think the lack of integrity comment comes from the fact that she didn't boycott carrying the torch for the chinese olympics and is a buy to let homeowner, among other things.


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## feyr (Jul 27, 2010)

Fullyplumped said:


> In what way is being a TV presenter lacking in integrity? What kind of work ought she to do to meet your standards of integrity?
> 
> Her sister is a lecturer in sociology, long-time political activist and blogger, and deputy mayoress of the community in which she lives. Is that better?


 
as has already been mentioned on this thread, she actually showed that she had some talent as a journalist while on blue peter ( obviously taking in to account the demographic she was aiming towards). but scince then she seems to mainly chosen safe "pretty" presenter jobs rather than anything that challenges her skills as a journalist.  I'm not criticising her as such, she is good at what she has chosen to do. i was merely commenting on the fact that she is percieved as being dumb when she presumably is not. If she wanted to, she could take more challenging work but is seems like she has chosen success over intelligence. just my opinion.


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 27, 2010)

feyr said:


> If she wanted to, she could take more challenging work but is seems like she has chosen success over intelligence. just my opinion.



Like shit-loads of people. Whatever puts steam on the table.


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## damnhippie (Jul 28, 2010)

am i alone in hoping that he's doing this as part of a very long-term satire on TV culture?


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## feyr (Jul 28, 2010)

i'm not saying its a bad choice, but its a choice. She has the intelligence that arguably a lot of othrer pretty female presenters dont but she will always be lumped into the same pretty but dim group because of it. i doubt she loses any sleep over it though, and why should she? she is good at what she chooses to do, what more could anyone want?


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 28, 2010)

It's the assumption that women on the telly can be pretty, or brainy, but not both, that's still distressingly prevalent in some quarters. An obvious load of bullshine. You only have to look at Vicky Coren.


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## Stigmata (Jul 28, 2010)

I think it's the idea of a professional misanthrope tying the knot with a Blue Peter presenter that doesn't really compute. More power to them, I say.


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## Orang Utan (Jul 28, 2010)

Steel☼Icarus said:


> It's the assumption that women on the telly can be pretty, or brainy, but not both, that's still distressingly prevalent in some quarters. An obvious load of bullshine. You only have to look at Vicky Coren.


 or indeed lisa riley


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## damnhippie (Jul 28, 2010)

Stigmata said:


> I think it's the idea of a professional misanthrope tying the knot with a Blue Peter presenter that doesn't really compute. More power to them, I say.


 
if he'd really kept his eye on the prize he'd have bagged Vorderman.


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 28, 2010)

Orang Utan said:


> or indeed lisa riley








All this...and brains too.


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## Reno (Jul 28, 2010)

Why do people enjoy endlessly speculating people they don't know. I find it much less of a sign of low inelligence to have a TV presenting job then to pass judgement on people you have never met and to go by what is written in trashy celeb mags.


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## DotCommunist (Jul 28, 2010)

I can't get that image of her using a she-wee out of my head. And I'm not nursing one either, it is genuinely a 'how can you parody reality?' thing.


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 28, 2010)

Reno said:


> low inelligence



Quoted for truth.


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 28, 2010)

Steel☼Icarus said:


> Quoted for truth.


 
Sorry; was a bit of cunt there. I _know _good spelling doesn't signify intelligence. It's go-to-fucking-bed o'clock in the morning and I'm fairly well in my cups.


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## feyr (Jul 28, 2010)

Steel☼Icarus said:


> It's the assumption that women on the telly can be pretty, or brainy, but not both, that's still distressingly prevalent in some quarters. An obvious load of bullshine. You only have to look at Vicky Coren.



She is hardly saturday night entertainment presenter though is she? I'm not saying a women cant be brainy and pretty be it on tv or anywhere else but i think that a lot of female presenters feel like they have to choose between the two groupings .


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## Kanda (Aug 24, 2010)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-Charlie-Brooker-poses-smouldering-shoot.html


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## Jeff Robinson (Aug 24, 2010)




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## kabbes (Aug 24, 2010)

What's funny about that photo?


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## QueenOfGoths (Aug 24, 2010)

kabbes said:


> What's funny about that photo?


 
More to the point where have you been  

I found myself in a pub full of actuarys last Thursday and stared at them in case one was you and I have been waiting since then to tell you and you haven't been here and WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!


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## kabbes (Aug 24, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> More to the point where have you been
> 
> I found myself in a pub full of actuarys last Thursday and stared at them in case one was you and I have been waiting since then to tell you and you haven't been here and WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!


 
Not at work.  It's been great.  But it's nice to be missed 

I'm back for a few weeks, then I will be off again for a few weeks.


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## QueenOfGoths (Aug 24, 2010)

kabbes said:


> Not at work.  It's been great.  But it's nice to be missed
> 
> I'm back for a few weeks, then I will be off again for a few weeks.


 
Okay. I 'spose 

Actually where is danny as well, haven't heard from him for a bit. You haven't been away with him have you?


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## Maidmarian (Aug 24, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Okay. I 'spose
> 
> Actually where is danny as well, haven't heard from him for a bit. You haven't been away with him have you?



danny's gone.


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## cesare (Aug 24, 2010)

Maidmarian said:


> danny's gone.


 
I've been wondering where he was for a while


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## QueenOfGoths (Aug 24, 2010)

Maidmarian said:


> danny's gone.


 
 When and why - if that is not impertinent to ask, I really like him (pm me if you want and you'd rather not say in a thread I don't want to cause fuss/embarrasment to anyone )


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## quimcunx (Aug 24, 2010)

Tell him to come back.


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## QueenOfGoths (Aug 24, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> Tell him to come back.


 
This! Tell him we miss him


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## kabbes (Aug 24, 2010)

He'll be back.  They always come back in the end.

Don't they?


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## quimcunx (Aug 24, 2010)

Tell him Konnie's signed up and posting on the nekkid thread.


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## strung out (Aug 24, 2010)

kabbes said:


> He'll be back.  They always come back in the end.
> 
> Don't they?


 not if they've been buried under the patio


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## Maidmarian (Aug 24, 2010)

.


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## Maidmarian (Aug 24, 2010)

danny's got rl stuff to do.

I will pass on your messages though.

Perhaps we should open a book on if/when he'll be back ?


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## Melinda (Aug 29, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> When and why - if that is not impertinent to ask, I really like him (pm me if you want and you'd rather not say in a thread I don't want to cause fuss/embarrasment to anyone )


 I think Ive worked out why he's gone. 

Brooker and Huq have officially tied the knot in Las Vegas. Danny must be inconsolable.


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## quimcunx (Aug 29, 2010)

I'm sure his wife and children will do their best to comfort him as they can.


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## pk (Aug 30, 2010)

She always looks a little deranged...


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## sleaterkinney (Sep 4, 2010)

Pass the sick bucket



> *What or who is the greatest love of your life?*
> My husband.
> *What does love feel like?*
> Absolute, sheer, unadulterated bliss.
> ...



http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/sep/04/konnie-huq-interview


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## rosa (Sep 5, 2010)

sleaterkinney said:


> Pass the sick bucket
> 
> 
> 
> http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/sep/04/konnie-huq-interview


Aw i thought that interview was sweet. She came across as really down to earth and lovely. Imagine the beautiful intelligent amusingly-misanthropic children they'll have.


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## kabbes (Sep 5, 2010)

I was subjected to a bit of Xtra Factor last night.  Konnie Huq is indeed every bit as vacuously annoying as I feared.  Shame on you, Brooker.


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## kyser_soze (Sep 6, 2010)

Yeah, cos catching a bit of the X-Factor is a sure-fire way to getting a real impression of someone.


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## kabbes (Sep 6, 2010)

kyser_soze said:


> Yeah, cos catching a bit of the X-Factor is a sure-fire way to getting a real impression of someone.


 
Is it not actually her, then?  Is she acting from a tightly written script?


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## kyser_soze (Sep 6, 2010)

Do you think that a snatched bit of the most vacuous show on TV is going to deliver anything other than a vacuous impression of someone? You could put Zizek on X-Factor and he'd come out looking...oh, hang on. Bad example.


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## Jeff Robinson (Sep 6, 2010)

kyser_soze said:


> You could put Zizek on X-Factor and he'd come out looking...oh, hang on. Bad example.


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## Orang Utan (Sep 6, 2010)

this thread is well nauz


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