# Ben Fogle Is A C+nt



## Dubversion (Mar 9, 2006)

worst television presenter ever.

Kill him in the face, but only after you've made him watch while you fuck his dog and then drive over it.


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## maes (Mar 9, 2006)

we went to the same school. lol.


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## Dubversion (Mar 9, 2006)

I know.

you're a cunt by proxy.


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## Dubversion (Mar 9, 2006)

i've just realised he's sat under a geodesic dome.

cunt


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## maes (Mar 9, 2006)

looks more like a sculpture of some sort, not really dome shaped enough. anyway why is he a cunt now?


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## trashpony (Mar 9, 2006)

I would


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## Macabre (Mar 9, 2006)

Maybe he's a cunt through inbreading and thats why his eyes are too far apart.


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## Dubversion (Mar 9, 2006)

we just watched him 'present' (ie stammer, repeat, bollock up and ruin) Crufts.

Dear BBC. Being a posh cunt doesn't automatically mean you can present television programmes. That idea was supposed to have died out in about 1962.

Cunt.


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## chooch (Mar 9, 2006)

Yes. I'd pay to distribute his organs.


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## Tank Girl (Mar 9, 2006)

trashpony said:
			
		

> I would


me too (I think we've outed ourselves on this subject before trashy  )


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## Dubversion (Mar 9, 2006)

Pie Face reckons he looks like Bender


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## Macabre (Mar 9, 2006)

Didnt see you as a Crufts watching man Dub.  Just put it in mute and watch the lovely doggys prance around


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## marty21 (Mar 9, 2006)

his mum is a 60s icon though






although i know that doesn't make him a non-cunt...


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## trashpony (Mar 9, 2006)

Tank Girl said:
			
		

> me too (I think we've outed ourselves on this subject before trashy  )





Out and proud


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## i_hate_beckham (Mar 9, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> Pie Face reckons he looks like Bender


 Now you mention it.....


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## Shirl (Mar 9, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> we just watched him 'present' (ie stammer, repeat, bollock up and ruin) Crufts.
> 
> Dear BBC. Being a posh cunt doesn't automatically mean you can present television programmes. That idea was supposed to have died out in about 1962.
> 
> Cunt.


Since when did you watch Crufts


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## Wolfie (Mar 9, 2006)

I quite like him 

and given the other presenters they've had for crufts he could harldy ruin it ...


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## Wolfie (Mar 9, 2006)

trashpony said:
			
		

> I would




me too
I like a bit of posh


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## Shirl (Mar 9, 2006)

trashpony said:
			
		

> Out and proud


I don't fancy him but at least he comes from parents who showed dogs, as does Jessica Holme. I slept in her bed once


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## Shirl (Mar 9, 2006)

Wolfie said:
			
		

> I like a bit of posh


Obviously


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## trashpony (Mar 9, 2006)

Shirl said:
			
		

> I don't fancy him but at least he comes from parents who showed dogs, as does Jessica Holme. I slept in her bed once



Well, that's good. You won't have to share him with Wolfie


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## Looby (Mar 9, 2006)

trashpony said:
			
		

> Out and proud




Me too,  he's very sexy.


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## Sweaty Betty (Mar 9, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> worst television presenter ever.
> 
> Kill him in the face, but only after you've made him watch while you fuck his dog and then drive over it.



I just think that simple caption with that photo just sums it up  

Thats gave me good old chuckle


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## Louloubelle (Mar 9, 2006)

I think he's absolutely super!


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## cuppa_tea (Mar 9, 2006)

I like him, I think he's lovely.


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## Tank Girl (Mar 9, 2006)

Louloubelle said:
			
		

> I think he's absolutely super!



scrummy


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## ViolentPanda (Mar 9, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> worst television presenter ever.
> 
> Kill him in the face, but only after you've made him watch while you fuck his dog and then drive over it.



Don't you think that's a bit unfair to the dog?


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## trashpony (Mar 9, 2006)

I don't think this thread is going quite to plan


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## Sweaty Betty (Mar 9, 2006)

Tank Girl said:
			
		

> scrummy



Bleurgh


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## Tank Girl (Mar 9, 2006)

he's not at the top of my fantasy shag list, but he'd do


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## Sweaty Betty (Mar 9, 2006)

Tank Girl said:
			
		

> he's not at the top of my fantasy shag list, but he'd do



Yeah,a bit of gaffer tape and he'd be ready to go


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## Tank Girl (Mar 9, 2006)

oh, if it's the voice we're talking about, I didn't say ANYTHING about wanting to hear him talk.

a gag will do


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## felixthecat (Mar 9, 2006)

haylz said:
			
		

> Bleurgh




I so agree. The man is too irritating for words.


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## Sweaty Betty (Mar 9, 2006)

felixthecat said:
			
		

> I so agree. The man is too irritating for words.



Its such a shame as i love watching the animals


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## Looby (Mar 9, 2006)

Tank Girl said:
			
		

> oh, if it's the voice we're talking about, I didn't say ANYTHING about wanting to hear him talk.
> 
> a gag will do



I want to hear him talk too.


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## nino_savatte (Mar 9, 2006)

Oh aye, he's an irritating one all right. Animal fucking Park, do me a fucking favour!


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## Tank Girl (Mar 9, 2006)

I'm now imagining the pillowtalk... maybe I do want him to talk


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## Looby (Mar 9, 2006)

Tank Girl said:
			
		

> I'm now imagining the pillowtalk... maybe I do want him to talk



You know you do.


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## punkrockfaggot (Mar 9, 2006)

his mum is the one Micheal Winner tells to shut up in that insurance ad.

I was watching him today, and, sorry i just can't muster any hatred towards him...


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## Sweaty Betty (Mar 9, 2006)

sparklefish said:
			
		

> You know you do.



Double Bleurgh


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## moomoo (Mar 9, 2006)

I think he's lovely!


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## Dubversion (Mar 10, 2006)

you're all fucking SICK. 


he makes June fucking Sarpong seem like Jonathan Ross


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## Mr Retro (Mar 10, 2006)

I like him. Tough as nails. 

Rowed across the Atlantic with more or less no training being pushed to the limit by an olympic rowing champion. 

Ran the Marathon des Sables again with little training. 

"I hate him because he's posh " .......   zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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## zoooo (Mar 10, 2006)

He annoys me a bit, but only cos when I see or hear his name I think people are about to say Ben Folds and I get needlessly excited.


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## Dubversion (Mar 10, 2006)

Mr Retro said:
			
		

> I hate him because he's posh zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz




don't misrepresent me. i hate him purely because he's a pisspoor presenter. My allusion to his background is not based on the absurd notion that being posh renders him useless, but that he probably wouldn't have the job otherwise.

but then you're just sticking your head in to take a pop as usual.


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## newharper (Mar 10, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> don't misrepresent me. i hate him purely because he's a pisspoor presenter. My allusion to his background is not based on the absurd notion that being posh renders him useless, but that he probably wouldn't have the job otherwise.
> 
> but then you're just sticking your head in to take a pop as usual.



Well I think he's a pisspoor presenter as well, but the attraction of the crufts programme for me is that it's so surreal, that it all adds to the madness.

He got his break from Castaway 2000, where he was posh totty, but his continued presence is down to the fact that peeps are prepared to watch him.

total uselessness has never been a nono before, if you have the f factor.


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## Julie (Mar 10, 2006)

Streaked hair and fake tan. Eeewwwww.


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## Flashman (Mar 10, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> Pie Face reckons he looks like Bender



Where should we insert the girder, I wonder.


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## han (Mar 10, 2006)

He IS a bit of an annoying posh twat. But I think he redeemed himself a bit when he rowed across the atlantic naked.

He looks quite dishy here ...and by the time he finished, he looked like Captain Caveman....YUM! 

As long as he carries on looking like Captain Caveman and doesn't open his mouth, he's ok...


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## Louloubelle (Mar 10, 2006)

He ran the toughest race on earth  to raise money for the WWF 







Looks OK in shorts too


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## Mr Retro (Mar 10, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> don't misrepresent me. i hate him purely because he's a pisspoor presenter. My allusion to his background is not based on the absurd notion that being posh renders him useless, but that he probably wouldn't have the job otherwise.




Where did I say *you* said you hate him because he is posh? Nowhere. 

Don't be so fast to over re-act to something you think I've written. 

My observation was based on people being dismissed as useless just bescause they are posh. Vogle is often described as such and dimissed for no other reason. Well done you for looking further!!

Anyway he is not piss poor. I watch him on the excellent Countryfile and he is a very good presenter on that. He lets his interviewees speak on their subject asking good questions. He realises they know more of their subject than he does and he lets them get on with it. He doesn’t try to have an opinion on everything and doesn’t feel he has to impress the viewer with one at every turn. When he does offer an opinion it’s generally pretty well thought through. 




			
				Dubversion said:
			
		

> but then you're just sticking your head in to take a pop as usual.



What do you mean? I didn't even realise you started the thread. But your massive paranoid ego thinks I posted above just to have a pop at you? Twat.   

Anyway you *hate* somebody just because they are a poor presenter? Anger management course maybe?   .


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## foo (Mar 10, 2006)

well i hate him cos he's posh.   

nah, he is just a pisspoor presenter - and a dull wanker whatever his background.


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## tarannau (Mar 10, 2006)

Frankly, I'm very disappointed in this whole thread. I first came to Urban75 expecting it to be a left-leaning message board. But it seems to have gone all mainstream, with a queue of deviant posters waiting to salivate over dunderhead posh totty following the usual poncey pursuits of rowing and wandering around country estates. Where's the commitment to the urban75 ethos - half the people on this thread would seemingly abandon their principles for a dream involving Fogle, jodhpurs, rolling in the hay and a succession of  yelped 'yah, yah, yahs' 

It's a flaming disgrace I tell you. I'm off to start my own webspace, away from Fogle and his dodgy 80s hair and plummy tones. The revolution starts here.

Yours, disgusted of Brixton...


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## souljacker (Mar 10, 2006)

Didn't the little one from Top Gear do Crufts last year? That annoying little shit is FAAAAAAR worse than the fogle boy. He's innofensive, has rowed across the Atlantic and I quite like him on that zoo programme because he's really keen.

And he's not Nick Knowles.


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## Pie 1 (Mar 10, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> Pie Face reckons he looks like Bender
> 
> Bender presenting crufts. Now that I would tune into


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## Pie 1 (Mar 10, 2006)

souljacker said:
			
		

> And he's not Nick Knowles.



ooh, I know him, and I can happily report to you that he's a total arse.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Mar 10, 2006)

Louloubelle said:
			
		

>




   

At the scenery, not Ben


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## Orang Utan (Mar 10, 2006)

I watched Crufts and was struck by how professional he was as a presenter. He may be a posho, but I think he's a very versatile and talented presenter. Don't know how Dub came to his conclusions. He's very good on that Longleat programme too.

I cried watching Crufts last night.   (the dogs helping humans bit)


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## Belushi (Mar 10, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> I watched Crufts and was struck by how professional he was as a presenter. He may be a posho, but I think he's a very versatile and talented presenter. Don't know how Dub came to his conclusions. He's very good on that Longleat programme too.
> 
> I cried watching Crufts last night.   (the dogs helping humans bit)



Twelve years of friendship and I suddenly discover your a big gaylord


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## Orang Utan (Mar 10, 2006)

I've always been a big softy - I just manage to hold it in when in company.


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## Pieface (Mar 10, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> I watched Crufts and was struck by how professional he was as a presenter. He may be a posho, but I think he's a very versatile and talented presenter. Don't know how Dub came to his conclusions. He's very good on that Longleat programme too.
> 
> I cried watching Crufts last night.   (the dogs helping humans bit)



I don't think he's very good live tbh - the bizarre fawning over the dogs and banging on about stealing them away etc etc.  I know that comes with the territory on most animal programmes but it gets right on my nerves.  

It does add to an already seriously odd show!  Wtf is going on with the nauseating music selection?  And _crying _ Orang???   One of those dogs was nominated _because it got lost_........._got found again_ and was quite thin!      Talk about scrabbling for a story.

I've seen Fogle do other, edited programmes and he was a good on those - and reading about him on Castaway and rowing the Atlantic I can't dismiss him as a *cunt* I'm afraid - the guy's done some pretty inspiring stuff.  His presenting's fluff but the boy's got determination.


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## pianistenvy (Mar 10, 2006)

i'm not keen on fellas with super-posh accents. just a personal preference, i suppose but he does look a bit too foppish and like a mummy's boy for my liking. i prefer the kind of fella who looks like he'll headbutt you and nick yer wallet at the end of a date


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## Artie Fufkin (Mar 10, 2006)

PieEye said:
			
		

> One of those dogs was nominated _because it got lost_........._got found again_ and was quite thin!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Pieface (Mar 10, 2006)

<gives up>


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## Orang Utan (Mar 10, 2006)

I'm not ashamed about weeping at blatantly manipulative segments like the one PieEye mentions.
Sad dog eyes always get to me - I'd make a rubbish dog owner - he'd be so fat


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## Pieface (Mar 10, 2006)

Would you kill him with love?


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## g force (Mar 10, 2006)

What do you expect he was a bleedin' picture editor at Tatler before he appeared on that shitty island programme when the BBC then decided he'd make a good posh boy for TV.

Him and that midget twat from Top Gear can both fuck right off my TV.

And he rowed across the Atlantic - twat


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## Artie Fufkin (Mar 10, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Sad dog eyes always get to me - I'd make a rubbish dog owner - he'd be so fat


i am and he is


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## Orang Utan (Mar 10, 2006)

Probably 
(food love though, not love through my willy)

Edit: reply to PieEye


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## nightowl (Mar 10, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> Kill him in the face, but only after you've made him watch while you fuck his dog and then drive over it.



pmsl


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## jayeola (Mar 10, 2006)

Hrm, that bloke Ben what's-his-face looks like prince thingy. Or maybe an older version.


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## sam/phallocrat (Mar 10, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

>



worth a squirt


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## Orang Utan (Mar 10, 2006)

g force said:
			
		

> And he rowed across the Atlantic - twat


And why does rowing across the Atlantic make you a twat?


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## g force (Mar 10, 2006)

Because everyone else gets a planes...no, just because he got more coverage than Diana Hoff - who in case you don't know did it single handed in 2000 at the age of 55   

All because he's a pretty boy with a nice voice   He was with an bloody olympic champion FFS, he should have made it across!


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## Balbi (Mar 10, 2006)

Pie 1 said:
			
		

> Bender presenting crufts. Now that I would tune into



"I'm gonna start my own dog show, with blackjack and hookers....  ... ... in fact, forget the dog show!"


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## tarannau (Mar 10, 2006)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> And why does rowing across the Atlantic make you a twat?



It doesn't make you a twat or disqualify you from being the biggest twat in the world. 

Unfortunately it's generally only the well off, well connected and poshly-spoken who have the time and luxury of being able to go off on such adventures. Which is why it's a little grating to hear certain folks wax lyrical about how difficult it was, whilst commentators continually fawn over their achievements as if they were the only possible men who could have achieved it.

Personally I'd like to see Fogle work for a year in the sanitary facility down Acre Lane, being paid minimum wage for cleaning turds and other unsavoury items off hospital sheets for 12 hours a day. I wouldn't want it televised mind, it's just a pleasant pipe dream...


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## Stigmata (Mar 10, 2006)

Is it just me, or is Ben Fogle clearly the rightful king?


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## lizardqueen (Mar 10, 2006)

Stigmata said:
			
		

> Is it just me, or is Ben Fogle clearly the rightful king?



It's just you.  Ben Fogle is clearly a WANKER


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## Dubversion (Mar 10, 2006)

lizardqueen said:
			
		

> It's just you.  Ben Fogle is clearly a WANKER




i knew i could count on you


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## Charlie Drake (Mar 10, 2006)

Ahhh you've all just a bunch o' snobs, you don't like him cos he's posh...I think he's a nice bloke!


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## Dubversion (Mar 10, 2006)

Charlie Drake said:
			
		

> Ahhh you've all just a bunch o' snobs, you don't like him cos he's posh...I think he's a nice bloke!




we've covered this.


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## Charlie Drake (Mar 10, 2006)

yes I _have_ read the thread, actually!

*stomps off in a huff*


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## foo (Mar 10, 2006)

tarannau said:
			
		

> Unfortunately it's generally only the well off, well connected and poshly-spoken who have the time and luxury of being able to go off on such adventures. Which is why it's a little grating to hear certain folks wax lyrical about how difficult it was, whilst commentators continually fawn over their achievements as if they were the only possible men who could have achieved it.
> 
> Personally I'd like to see Fogle work for a year in the sanitary facility down Acre Lane, being paid minimum wage for cleaning turds and other unsavoury items off hospital sheets for 12 hours a day. I wouldn't want it televised mind, it's just a pleasant pipe dream...



excellent post


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## King Biscuit Time (Mar 10, 2006)

He's an absolute fucking cunt.
I was sick enough of him before he went on his rowing across the atlantic jolly, and after a week of seeing him bleat on about it on every talk show in the world I'm ready to kill.

His girlfriend's fucking irritating as well.


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## Pieface (Mar 10, 2006)

tarannau said:
			
		

> Unfortunately it's generally only the well off, well connected and poshly-spoken who have the time and luxury of being able to go off on such adventures. Which is why it's a little grating to hear certain folks wax lyrical about how difficult it was, whilst commentators continually fawn over their achievements as if they were the only possible men who could have achieved it.
> 
> Personally I'd like to see Fogle work for a year in the sanitary facility down Acre Lane, being paid minimum wage for cleaning turds and other unsavoury items off hospital sheets for 12 hours a day. I wouldn't want it televised mind, it's just a pleasant pipe dream...



It wasn't just folk like him that did it - an ex-con and his parole officer did it too ffs!   

I don't know what the coverage of it was like but he's hardly out there in everyone's faces like a large proportion of the people hired to talk at us from the telly.  

Anyway, I'm defending someone I'm ambivalent about really.  But he is SHITE on the live stuff - maybe he likes the dogs a bit _too _ much.....


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## Julie (Mar 11, 2006)

King Biscuit Time said:
			
		

> His girlfriend's fucking irritating as well.



Is she well known too?


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## Jorum (Mar 11, 2006)

He did "animal park" as well.
He seems to have a niche expertise in that program for making stupid fucking statements constantly. For example talking about some stork type thing.
Zoo keeper: "..they eat seeds, meat"
ben: "wow, that's unusual for a bird, to eat meat"
zoo keeper (thinking) _well if you ignore eagles, hawks, vultures, falcons, crows etc ..._

And yesterday on crufts: "well we have with us (some bloke) with the winner (some dog) a Norweigen *Elk*hound".  "So *Elk*hounds, what do they hunt then?"   

Also during Animal Park he took valuable air-time away from Katie Humble, which is reason enough to hate him in my opinion.


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## LilMissHissyFit (Mar 11, 2006)

I think hes gorgeous
I would, in an instant. I only used to watch castaway to see him


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## Jorum (Mar 11, 2006)

LilMissHissyFit said:
			
		

> I think hes gorgeous
> I would, in an instant. I only used to watch castaway to see him


With all respect, whether he is gorgeousness or not is entirely seperate issue  
It is entirely possible (and is in fact quite common) for someone to be both attractive and an annoying c*nt at the same time.


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## LilMissHissyFit (Mar 11, 2006)

If I thought he was an annoying cunt I wouldnt be able to watch him


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## London_Calling (Mar 11, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

>


Turned-up collar on a sports short - all you need to know. Cnut.

Oi Fogle! Why the long face ?


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## Sid's Snake (Mar 12, 2006)

Why does this thread say "C+nt?"

Is it because you think you won't offend anyone thick enough not to know its a u?


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## trashpony (Mar 12, 2006)

Sid's Snake said:
			
		

> Why does this thread say "C+nt?"
> 
> Is it because you think you won't offend anyone thick enough not to know its a u?



I think it got edited by a mod - the word cunt is not generally considered okay in the title of the thread.  

Are you always so aggressive?


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## Dubversion (Mar 12, 2006)

Sid's Snake said:
			
		

> Why does this thread say "C+nt?"
> 
> Is it because you think you won't offend anyone thick enough not to know its a u?





yes, yes, that's why I did it. I'm a sensitive little flower.


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## surfgirl (Mar 12, 2006)

I have the BIGGEST crush on him!  I watched countryfile this morning just to perv


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## rubbershoes (Mar 13, 2006)

tarannau said:
			
		

> It doesn't make you a twat or disqualify you from being the biggest twat in the world.
> 
> Unfortunately it's generally only the well off, well connected and poshly-spoken who have the time and luxury of being able to go off on such adventures. Which is why it's a little grating to hear certain folks wax lyrical about how difficult it was, whilst commentators continually fawn over their achievements as if they were the only possible men who could have achieved it.
> 
> ...




well put but unfortunately completely wrong

a mate of mine did this race last year and he isn't well off, well connected or poshly-spoken. he works for the local council, had to raise all the money himself and was doing it to persuade his wife and dughter to stop smoking. 

admittedly his employer gave him the time off but they didn't pay him while he was off

but ben fogle is a shit presenter though. bring back richard hammond, i say


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## editor (Jul 21, 2006)

Well, I've been watching the BBC documentary of him rowing across the Atlantic with the other fella, and have to say: irritating, toff-sounding doofus he may be, but he's got fucking guts.


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## H.Dot (Jul 21, 2006)

> bring back richard hammond, i say



yeah I like him but he's pissed me off by taking the piss out of my car, I'm no chav lol

I can't stand Ben Fogle. class envy? yeah, maybe it is.but do I care? nah.  
u can easily spot the "haves" round here, as opposed to the "have-nots" or "don't have enoughs" - all the ppl with the money look like Ben Fogle with their shirts tucked in AND THAT BLOODY BEN FOGLE HAIRCUT lol, whereas I look like an ageing member of So Solid and they don't like it. well tough. I'm not moving to Sutton. haha.


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## Stigmata (Jul 21, 2006)

H.Dot said:
			
		

> - all the ppl with the money look like Ben Fogle with their shirts tucked in AND THAT BLOODY BEN FOGLE HAIRCUT lol



Yeah, round here we call it Toni & Guy hair. Sure sign of toffery.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 21, 2006)

A harmless fop who didn't sit back on his trust fund but went out rowing on water or something.


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## editor (Jul 21, 2006)

Have you seen the show about his Atlantic crossing? 

It involved him and James Cracknell doing two hours rowing and two hours off for 24 hours_ every single day_ for two months!

Hardcore!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4631086.stm


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## H.Dot (Jul 21, 2006)

editor said:
			
		

> Have you seen the show about his Atlantic crossing?
> 
> It involved him and James Cracknell doing two hours rowing and two hours off for 24 hours_ every single day_ for two months!
> 
> ...



that's pretty good, I'll give him that. I couldn't DJ for that long never mind row a boat lol


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## maximilian ping (Jul 21, 2006)

an ant can carry 10 times its weight or something for the equivalent of hunderds of miles but i'm sure a lot of them are total c*nts


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## butterfly child (Jul 21, 2006)

He's cute. Dub's just jealous


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## pk (Jul 22, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> we just watched him 'present' (ie stammer, repeat, bollock up and ruin) Crufts.



I'm sorry... Crufts?

Crufts???

What the fuck did you expect??



Who would you have present Crufts instead?


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## chainsaw cat (Jul 22, 2006)

Dogsby off the Shiny Show.


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## pk (Jul 22, 2006)

I prefer Tiggs, definitely the funniest of them all.


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## Julie (Jul 23, 2006)

maximilian ping said:
			
		

> an ant can carry 10 times its weight or something for the equivalent of hunderds of miles but i'm sure a lot of them are total c*nts


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## TeeJay (Jul 23, 2006)

King Biscuit Time said:
			
		

> ...after a week of seeing him bleat on about it on every talk show in the world I'm ready to kill...


Why did you watch every talk show in the world (or even any of them). They are always full of 'celebs' talking shit. Utter waste of time.


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## Louloubelle (Jul 26, 2006)

...

oops


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## Mrs Miggins (Jul 26, 2006)

I love Ben Fogle 

I saw him stick his arm up a cow's arse on Animal Park


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## kins (Jul 26, 2006)

i like him


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## Julie (Jul 27, 2006)

Mrs Miggins said:
			
		

> I love Ben Fogle
> 
> I saw him stick his arm up a cow's arse on Animal Park



"Don't mind me luv"


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## scalyboy (Sep 2, 2006)

*Wicker Glis*

It is a little-known fact that Fogle is despised amongst the woodland community of small mammals, because of his patronising and smug attitude towards them, as seen on 'Countryfile' and 'Animal Park'. Dormice in particular have sworn a blood oath that Fogle must be annihilated; indeed, much of their traditional folk culture (epic poems, songs etc) is based on the theme of meting destruction to their arch-enemy.

It is said that in woods near Tring, edible dormice (or 'glis glis', to give their scientific name)  have constructed a 'Wicker Glis', within which Fogle is to be sacrificed, partly to bring about a bumper nut harvest next year, and partly because they wish to see him die horribly.


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## Grandma Death (Sep 2, 2006)

He's just too bloody nice. Putting him on countryfile is annoying-especially up against the legend that is John Craven.


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## scalyboy (Sep 2, 2006)

Annoying is not the word. How would you feel if you woke up after 7 months of torpor, to find that rugby-shirted fop was shaking you out of your nest box, flinging you in a plastic bag, and brandishing you at camera, all the while making facile, patronising comments such as: "Ooh isn't he fat", "Gosh his fur is so soft" & "This little feller is REALLY sleepy aren't you" - of course we're sleepy, Fogle, we're DORMICE for f--ks sake.

It is an affront to their dignity.


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## Julie (Sep 3, 2006)

scalyboy said:
			
		

> Annoying is not the word. How would you feel if you woke up after 7 months of torpor, to find that rugby-shirted fop was shaking you out of your nest box, flinging you in a plastic bag, and brandishing you at camera, all the while making facile, patronising comments such as: "Ooh isn't he fat", "Gosh his fur is so soft" & "This little feller is REALLY sleepy aren't you" - of course we're sleepy, Fogle, we're DORMICE for f--ks sake.
> 
> It is an affront to their dignity.



Unreal


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## equationgirl (Sep 3, 2006)

scalyboy said:
			
		

> It is a little-known fact that Fogle is despised amongst the woodland community of small mammals, because of his patronising and smug attitude towards them, as seen on 'Countryfile' and 'Animal Park'. Dormice in particular have sworn a blood oath that Fogle must be annihilated; indeed, much of their traditional folk culture (epic poems, songs etc) is based on the theme of meting destruction to their arch-enemy.
> 
> It is said that in woods near Tring, edible dormice (or 'glis glis', to give their scientific name)  have constructed a 'Wicker Glis', within which Fogle is to be sacrificed, partly to bring about a bumper nut harvest next year, and partly because they wish to see him die horribly.


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## scalyboy (Sep 4, 2006)

Julie said:
			
		

> Unreal



They may be fairly small, but they have their pride.


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## Wilf (Sep 4, 2006)

scalyboy said:
			
		

> It is a little-known fact that Fogle is despised amongst the woodland community of small mammals, because of his patronising and smug attitude towards them, as seen on 'Countryfile' and 'Animal Park'. Dormice in particular have sworn a blood oath that Fogle must be annihilated; indeed, much of their traditional folk culture (epic poems, songs etc) is based on the theme of meting destruction to their arch-enemy.
> 
> It is said that in woods near Tring, edible dormice (or 'glis glis', to give their scientific name)  have constructed a 'Wicker Glis', within which Fogle is to be sacrificed, partly to bring about a bumper nut harvest next year, and partly because they wish to see him die horribly.



Mind, it can happen to anybody.  A bunch of shrews issued a fatwa against me 6 years ago.  I haven't been within 10 miles of Farthing Wood since then.


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## Pingu (Sep 4, 2006)

oi leave his dog alone..

but hes a bit of a twat.


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## scalyboy (Sep 4, 2006)

4thwrite said:
			
		

> Mind, it can happen to anybody.  A bunch of shrews issued a fatwa against me 6 years ago.  I haven't been within 10 miles of Farthing Wood since then.



Radical shrew preachers


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## Wilf (Sep 4, 2006)

scalyboy said:
			
		

> Radical shrew preachers


Its not unknown in the animal kingdom.  For example, amongst fish you quite often come across Preachers of Skate


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## Julie (Sep 5, 2006)

scalyboy said:
			
		

> They may be fairly small, but they have their pride.


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## scalyboy (Sep 5, 2006)

4thwrite said:
			
		

> Its not unknown in the animal kingdom.  For example, amongst fish you quite often come across Preachers of Skate



Boom-tish!!


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## bouncer_the_dog (Sep 5, 2006)

scalyboy said:
			
		

> Annoying is not the word. How would you feel if you woke up after 7 months of torpor, to find that rugby-shirted fop was shaking you out of your nest box, flinging you in a plastic bag, and brandishing you at camera, all the while making facile, patronising comments such as: "Ooh isn't he fat", "Gosh his fur is so soft" & "This little feller is REALLY sleepy aren't you" - of course we're sleepy, Fogle, we're DORMICE for f--ks sake.
> 
> It is an affront to their dignity.



What if its Bill Oddy?


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## scalyboy (Sep 6, 2006)

bouncer_the_dog said:
			
		

> What if its Bill Oddy?



Oh yes - Oddie is certainly a figure of hate amongst the woodland community, but their loathing levels go off the scale when it comes to Fogle. Oddie's amateurish presenter skillz (and constant interruptions of Kate Humble) on 'Springwatch' have put him in danger of being lunged at and savaged by several furious dormice the next time he ventures into a hazel wood - but they reserve their full fury for the foppish one. 

For Oddie, it will be a quick death. Fogle will not be so fortunate.


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## Roadkill (Sep 7, 2006)

I would.   

And I like Animal Park, too.  Quality daytime TV.

<scarpers>


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## scalyboy (Sep 7, 2006)

Roadkill said:
			
		

> I would.
> 
> And I like Animal Park, too.  Quality daytime TV.
> 
> <scarpers>



Gaaaah. Don't let a vole or dormouse hear you saying that.

You know that song 'Kill Nebuchadnezzar' by, I think, Creation Stepper? 
Voles modified that to become "Burn Fogle".


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## bellator (Sep 8, 2006)

Extreme Dreams which is being advertised for BBC2 looks ok.


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## Cid (Sep 10, 2006)

scalyboy said:
			
		

> Oh yes - Oddie is certainly a figure of hate amongst the woodland community, but their loathing levels go off the scale when it comes to Fogle. Oddie's amateurish presenter skillz (and constant interruptions of Kate Humble) on 'Springwatch' have put him in danger of being lunged at and savaged by several furious dormice the next time he ventures into a hazel wood - but they reserve their full fury for the foppish one.
> 
> For Oddie, it will be a quick death. Fogle will not be so fortunate.



But humble deserves to be interrupted (and possibly burned at the stake). Fogle's a bit irritating but he reminds me a lot of a mate of mine, so I let him off. I trust all the weird Foglephiles are getting their rocks off over his new show...


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## Salo (Sep 10, 2006)

He is an awfull talentless prick. 

The guy is a celebrity simply because he's an inoffensive, fail safe, feminine, metrosexual, genial, posh twit.

He started off as a picture Ed at Tatler because his parents were connected. Then he made himself look like a tit on the island show and then fell apart and was a total baggage to Cracknell when they rowed the atlantic or what ever.

I hate him lots.


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## scalyboy (Sep 11, 2006)

And now he has got married... the woodland animals convene an extraordinary general meeting:

"Welcome my brothers and sisters, I bid welcome to all shrews, voles, mice, dormice and so on and so forth. We have convened this Parliament in order to discuss a matter of GREAT IMPORT; namely, the wedding of our sworn foe and arch-enemy, Fogle - "

"This is indeed dreadful news, brother. For now, we face the awful possibility that FOGLE and his missus will procreate, thus creating more FOGLES - his spawn will spread across the entire world!"

"We must do something to stop this threat my brothers and sisters - "

"Yes - I propose that FOGLE be annihilated utterly - destroy him - send him to Perdition..."

"Are we all agreed - brethren of the wood? FOGLE must die?"

"YES! Burn him - burn him..."

The Wicker Mouse has already been built, with the assistance of crows. It lies deep within the woods. Now, all that has to be done is to entice the Fop inside it...

"We ave prepared a special wedding feast in your honour, O FOGLE - come, step this way, and listen to our special music wot we has written for you - yes that's right, climb into the oddly-shaped life-sized basket - it is part of our traditional celebrations..."


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## isvicthere? (Sep 11, 2006)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> we just watched him 'present' (ie stammer, repeat, bollock up and ruin) Crufts.
> 
> Dear BBC. Being a posh cunt doesn't automatically mean you can present television programmes. That idea was supposed to have died out in about 1962.
> 
> Cunt.



Take your point. But I'd have to argue with the dating. Being a plummy-voiced twat remained an advantage well into the 70s. My 1977 "Panorama" tape about Millwall hooligans stands as an uncomfortable testament to that.


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## tarannau (Sep 11, 2006)

I fucking hate those adverts they've got running now as well, the ones that keep going "Ben Fogle is a very persuasive man' until you want to throw things at the screen.

Persuasive my arse. He has all the personality and poise of a lantern-jawed chunk of gorgonzola on a wooden stick. For some reason he reminds me of Beaker from the muppets as well.


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## Agent Sparrow (Sep 11, 2006)

You know, I think up until now I've completely managed to miss this guy. Who the fuck is he? Does he do anything besides crufts?

And what's that thing on his chin, is it a really high up chinny dimple or some sort of hair?


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## tarannau (Sep 11, 2006)

You see, he's clearly related. Check the shape of the head and matching neck widths.

No idea about the chin dimple. Maybe it's a modification of Will Carling's 'bumface' look.


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## scalyboy (Sep 11, 2006)

"Brothers and sisters of the wood, we must make haste, for Autumn is nearly upon us, and with it, our Great Sleep. Therefore I say unto you all. that if we wish to destroy our great foe, FOGLE, we must do so now, for the time is short..."

And so the small woodland animals lured their arch-enemy FOGLE into the deepest, darkest corner of the wood, on a spurious promise that they would serenade him and his lovely bride with a specially-composed wedding song, played on tiny instruments (made by crows). 

Instead, they were to offer up FOGLE as a Dreadful Sacrifice to their elder Gods.


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## dlx1 (May 24, 2009)

did a search for Springwatch and this poped up 


KlLL FOGLE


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## nino_savatte (May 24, 2009)

He's a former Bryanstonian too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryanston_School


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## sned (May 24, 2009)

Aww, i like Fogle! Nice to see this 3 year hate campaign against such a charismatic man is still going strong(!) 

Don't worry Ben, I still love you! and i know about 3 others who do too


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## sned (May 24, 2009)

Agent Sparrow said:


> You know, I think up until now I've completely managed to miss this guy. Who the fuck is he? Does he do anything besides crufts?
> 
> And what's that thing on his chin, is it a really high up chinny dimple or some sort of hair?



i think he was on that reality TV show on BBC when people had to go and live on some scottish island for a while... think so anyway.

with regards to his chin, i think thats just cos he's posh!


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## nino_savatte (May 24, 2009)

The programme that catapulted Fogle to fame was_ Castaway_.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castaway_2000


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## Santino (May 24, 2009)

sned said:


> i think he was on that reality TV show on BBC when people had to go and live on some scottish island for a while... think so anyway.
> 
> with regards to his chin, i think thats just cos he's posh!


Two and half years he's been waiting for that information. The tension must have been unbearable.


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## Geri (May 24, 2009)

sned said:


> Aww, i like Fogle! Nice to see this 3 year hate campaign against such a charismatic man is still going strong(!)
> 
> Don't worry Ben, I still love you! and i know about 3 others who do too



I quite like him too, even though is posh.


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## Tank Girl (May 24, 2009)

I still think he's nice


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## revol68 (May 24, 2009)

bland posh prick.


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## sned (May 24, 2009)

Alex B said:


> Two and half years he's been waiting for that information. The tension must have been unbearable.



Worth it though!

I thought Fowg's was good on the last thing I saw him on, where he would take 6 or so people up a mountain/across a desert/through a jungle.. He's up for anything, you have to give him that at least!


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## fogbat (May 24, 2009)

Only six pages?


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## pk (May 24, 2009)

I've worked with him, he's actually one of the nicest TV presenters out there, none of the diva shit, he was pitching in, carrying flight cases, buying people coffees and generally being a surprisingly down to earth bloke.

I was surprised TBH. OK you might not like his presenting, and he is a bit foppish, but he isn't a cunt.


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## revol68 (May 24, 2009)

pk said:


> I've worked with him, he's actually one of the nicest TV presenters out there, none of the diva shit, he was pitching in, carrying flight cases, buying people coffees and generally being a surprisingly down to earth bloke.
> 
> I was surprised TBH. OK you might not like his presenting, and he is a bit foppish, but he isn't a cunt.



well that's ruined it.


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## sned (May 24, 2009)

pk said:


> I've worked with him, he's actually one of the *nicest* TV presenters out there, none of the diva shit, he was pitching in, carrying flight cases, buying people coffees and generally being a surprisingly *down to earth bloke*.
> 
> I was surprised TBH. OK you might not like his presenting, and he is a bit foppish, but *he isn't a cunt*.



I knew it!


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## Tank Girl (May 24, 2009)

pk said:


> I've worked with him, he's actually one of the nicest TV presenters out there, none of the diva shit, he was pitching in, carrying flight cases, buying people coffees and generally being a surprisingly down to earth bloke.
> 
> I was surprised TBH. OK you might not like his presenting, and he is a bit foppish, but he isn't a cunt.


hurray


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## sned (May 24, 2009)

He makes Animal Park watchable


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## poului (May 24, 2009)

*yk8y80j.jj8*

Just because he's unqualified doesn't make him a cunt.

I thought most societies were past this distinction.


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## Looby (May 24, 2009)

Awww, I love Ben.


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## pboi (May 25, 2009)

and he did that rowing thing for charity. nice guy


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## beesonthewhatnow (May 25, 2009)

pk said:


> I've worked with him, he's actually one of the nicest TV presenters out there, none of the diva shit, he was pitching in, carrying flight cases, buying people coffees and generally being a surprisingly down to earth bloke.



Yep, I've worked with him as well, he's a nice bloke


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## colacubes (May 25, 2009)

sned said:


> He makes Animal Park watchable



Indeed 

Kate fucking Humble on the other hand


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## pboi (May 25, 2009)

I love her!! secret celeb crush


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