# Masterchef 2010!



## Santino (Feb 15, 2010)

Back this week!


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## trashpony (Feb 15, 2010)

oooh tonight?

cue me putting on 5 kgs


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2010)

Deep, deep mince.

No, Thursday I think.


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2010)

Cooking doesn't get tougher than this.


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## Tacita (Feb 15, 2010)

Scary picture


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 15, 2010)

Matthew Norman gave the pudding lover's restaurant a bit of an iffy review in the Guardian at the weekend (though I am not sure I liked Matthew Norman's slightly sniffy attitude to "nappy valley")

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/13/wallace-and-co-restaurant-review


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## BoatieBird (Feb 15, 2010)

Santino said:


> Deep, deep mince.
> 
> No, Thursday I think.




There's a 90 minute programme on Thurday, then an hour on Friday.
On BBC1 this year


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2010)

This programme is gonna Change. People's. Lives.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 15, 2010)

Santino said:


> Cooking doesn't get tougher than this.


that's not right. it's more like:

Cooking. Doesn't. Get TOUGHER! Than this!!


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2010)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> that's not right. it's more like:
> 
> Cooking. Doesn't. Get TOUGHER! Than this!!



Or even: 

Cooking. Doesn't. Get TOUGHER! Than this*!!


*Except on Masterchef: The Professionals.


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## 100% masahiko (Feb 15, 2010)

I so can win that.


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## Onket (Feb 15, 2010)

That is a brilliant, brilliant OP. 

Is the other bloke back too? The annoying one?


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## Hellsbells (Feb 15, 2010)

Can't that Greg Wallace afford to get his bottom teeth fixed?!? Well scary!!


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## tarannau (Feb 15, 2010)

He looks like a lobotomised version of Garfield to be fair.


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2010)




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## Kanda (Feb 15, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> (though I am not sure I liked Matthew Norman's slightly sniffy attitude to "nappy valley")



It's Upper Richmond Road....


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 15, 2010)

Kanda said:


> It's Upper Richmond Road....



Yeah - bizarrely the online article has a link in it that leads you to some Putney website, but I've hever heard it called that before . 

I used to live just off Upper Richmond Road many, many years ago.


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## fen_boy (Feb 15, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Matthew Norman gave the pudding lover's restaurant a bit of an iffy review in the Guardian at the weekend (though I am not sure I liked Matthew Norman's slightly sniffy attitude to "nappy valley")
> 
> http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/13/wallace-and-co-restaurant-review



...but then Matthew Norman is the biggest cunt in the entire known universe.


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## Kanda (Feb 15, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Yeah - bizarrely the online article has a link in it that leads you to some Putney website, but I've hever heard it called that before .
> 
> I used to live just off Upper Richmond Road many, many years ago.



Cos Upper Richmond Road starts at Putney and ends in Richmond...


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2010)

We want someone who can turn out EXCEPTIONAL plates of food.


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## Onket (Feb 15, 2010)

Hellsbells said:


> Can't that Greg Wallace afford to get his bottom teeth fixed?!? Well scary!!



Why the fuck should he get his teeth fixed? There's nothing wrong with them.

These ones look more 'scary' to me-


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 15, 2010)

Kanda said:


> Cos Upper Richmond Road starts at Putney and ends in Richmond...



Sorry - I meant bizzare in that I didn't realise "nappy valley" was a known phrase and so was surprised to see it highlighted as a link, rather than that it runs from Putney to Richmond which I did know 

I lived off the Putney end of Upper Richmond Road.


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## Hellsbells (Feb 15, 2010)

Onket said:


> Why the fuck should he get his teeth fixed? There's nothing wrong with them.
> 
> These ones look more 'scary' to me-



I hate riddiculous gleaming white teeth as much as the next person, but he's obviously had his top ones done as they're all perfect and white, so why not make the bottom ones match 
Plus that one random huge tooth looks so wobbly, i get scared every time he takes a massive bite of food, that it's going to fall out into someone's food.


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## hektik (Feb 15, 2010)

Santino said:


> We want someone who can turn out EXCEPTIONAL plates of food.



we want someone who can turn out exceptional blades offood. at least, that's what it sounds like to me.

the sweetness of the beans. the crunch of the toast. that's a greadpladdafood.


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## Onket (Feb 15, 2010)

Hellsbells said:


> I hate riddiculous gleaming white teeth as much as the next person, but he's obviously had his top ones done as they're all perfect and white, so why not make the bottom ones match



Because then he'll look like a mannequin?



Hellsbells said:


> Plus that one random huge tooth looks so wobbly, i get scared every time he takes a massive bite of food, that it's going to fall out into someone's food.



I think, realistically, that you can stop worrying about that.


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## strung out (Feb 15, 2010)

it would make good tv if that did happen though


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## Stigmata (Feb 15, 2010)

The last time I watched this show it had Lloyd Grossman and the action appeared to take place in the voids of deep space. Looks like it's changed a bit since then.


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## articul8 (Feb 15, 2010)

is there any point between 


> "it's missing that chillie kick





> "jeeez, mate, it's blow your 'ead 'off stuff!"


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## N_igma (Feb 15, 2010)

Yipeee one of the best shows on tv.


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## May Kasahara (Feb 15, 2010)

I got so excited when I noticed this in the listings this week  Why, fgs, it's the same every week/year.


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## BoatieBird (Feb 18, 2010)

Gregg and John are on the front cover of the Radio Times having a food fight:

http://www.radiotimes.com/content/f...chef-gregg-wallace-john-torode-food-fight/01/


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## belboid (Feb 18, 2010)

Hellsbells said:


> I hate riddiculous gleaming white teeth as much as the next person, but he's obviously had his top ones done as they're all perfect and white, so why not make the bottom ones match



doesnt look obviously fixed to me, in fact it looks pretty similar to my teeth - except his are whiter and less chipped.  His bottom jaw is just slightly overcorwded is all, it'd cost loads to fix and probably loko crap, and he couldn't even claim it back agaisnt tax.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 18, 2010)

scary stuff, well kinky....


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## belboid (Feb 18, 2010)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Matthew Norman gave the pudding lover's restaurant a bit of an iffy review in the Guardian at the weekend (though I am not sure I liked Matthew Norman's slightly sniffy attitude to "nappy valley")
> 
> http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/13/wallace-and-co-restaurant-review



more than a bit iffy!

What the hell does 'that reputation rests on a *talent for *reprising Phil Neal *repeating every word Graham Taylor said in that Do I Not Like That documentary.' actually mean?


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 18, 2010)

belboid said:


> more than a bit iffy!
> 
> What the hell does 'that reputation rests on a *talent for *reprising Phil Neal *repeating every word Graham Taylor said in that Do I Not Like That documentary.' actually mean?


Graham Taylor: The Impossible Job, a Cutting Edge documentary about an England football team qualifying campaign, in which Graham Taylor uttered the immortal phrase "Do I not like that" seconds before Poland scored, and in which his number 2, Phil Neal, would, as suggested in the quote, simply parrot what Taylor had said seconds earlier throughout the programme. It's one of the best programmes I have ever seen, somewhere between tragedy and pathos.


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## belboid (Feb 18, 2010)

aah, I recall the programme, but had forgotten about Neils invovlement.


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## strung out (Feb 18, 2010)

just started


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## hiccup (Feb 18, 2010)

I think mashed potato with black olives in sounds quite nice.


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## Scarlette (Feb 18, 2010)

That soft boiled egg looked gross.


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## strung out (Feb 18, 2010)

looked more like a poached egg


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 18, 2010)

it's just gone from bad to worse for ewan


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## Espresso (Feb 18, 2010)

I love this programe.
Every time I think Gregg Wallace can't possibly open his mouth any further someone dishes up a luvverly looking pud and he unhinges his jaw to lower a massive shovelful down the hatch.


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## Jeff Robinson (Feb 18, 2010)




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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 18, 2010)

he is bloody crying now


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## belboid (Feb 18, 2010)

ooh well, that was a surprise.


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 18, 2010)

this is overdoing it tbh. as much as i might enjoy it, i think an hour and a half is too much.


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## psycherelic (Feb 18, 2010)

Why the hell did the mad walnut salt woman win


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## belboid (Feb 18, 2010)

cos she ws very good.  apart from the salt. and the rest of the salt.  and that final dash of salt.


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## strung out (Feb 18, 2010)

salt is nice


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## Espresso (Feb 18, 2010)

psycherelic said:


> Why the hell did the mad walnut salt woman win


Because she was
A) Young
B) Blonde
C) She cried

Are you new to Masterchef or something? 

Unless a young girly actually stabs the two lads and pours red wine vinegar into the cuts, she always goes through in the early stages.


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## paulhackett (Feb 18, 2010)




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## strung out (Feb 18, 2010)

we have our first black pudding and scallops of the series 

no pea puree though


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## Paulie Tandoori (Feb 18, 2010)

globules of fat


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## Infidel Castro (Feb 19, 2010)

Greg's neck is shrinking, but the action remains as hot as ever.  If there's a better programme out there, please tell me.  Actually no, don't tell me - I'd rather live in ignorance.  I loves it so much that I series-linked it.  

I wet myself when that Scottish feller said no-one had ever called his food bad only to cook up a pile of shite in wet pastry.  Silly little man...


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## AverageJoe (Feb 19, 2010)

Loving the tags


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## wtfftw (Feb 19, 2010)

"and they know they are cooking for their masterchef lives"
Serious.


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## strung out (Feb 19, 2010)

at last they've got rid of the passion test! this is a much better method of kicking one out of the quarter final


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## wtfftw (Feb 19, 2010)

ah! Is that what is going on? The passion test was rubbish.


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## strung out (Feb 19, 2010)

that was great. the guy who cut his finger early on turned out to be absolutely great, really unexpected


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## Espresso (Feb 24, 2010)

Right, Mastercheffers, it's nearly time. Are you sitting comfortably?

Wonder how many times Mr Torode will say briiiiiiiyunt tonight. My money's on twice.


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## Biddlybee (Feb 24, 2010)

Is this another first round lot, or quarter finals from last weeks lot?


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## Espresso (Feb 24, 2010)

I'm not sure, but I hope it's a new lot.


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## trashpony (Feb 24, 2010)

woah - they only let 2 go through 

Never before in the history of mc (afaik)


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## Orang Utan (Feb 24, 2010)

that retrochic lass wot one was ace, wasn't she?


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## trashpony (Feb 24, 2010)

Orang Utan said:


> that retrochic lass wot one was ace, wasn't she?



She was. And specially impressive for doing such a good job on hair and make up when she has so much other shit to do


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## Pseudopsycho (Feb 24, 2010)

I'm waiting for the quarter/semi finals when they start doing d'n'b soundtracks


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## Infidel Castro (Feb 25, 2010)

strung_out said:


> we have our first black pudding and scallops of the series
> 
> no pea puree though



There were about 37 black pudding, scallops and pureed pea dishes last night.  Couldn't move for the buggers.


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## Santino (Feb 25, 2010)

Orang Utan said:


> that retrochic lass wot one was ace, wasn't she?



Yes, Stacie is my new favourite. And that boy from last week who reminded me of DotCommunist.


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## Chester Copperpot (Feb 25, 2010)

I can't believe that some one did sausage with a fried egg and tomato sauce and was then upset when they slated her.


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## cesare (Feb 25, 2010)

Chester Copperpot said:


> I can't believe that some one did sausage with a fried egg and tomato sauce and was then upset when they slated her.



Was she the one that burst into tears?


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## Chester Copperpot (Feb 25, 2010)

cesare said:


> Was she the one that burst into tears?



That's the one.


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## trashpony (Feb 25, 2010)

Chester Copperpot said:


> I can't believe that some one did sausage with a fried egg and tomato sauce and was then upset when they slated her.



They are getting much harsher though. Torode and his ' greasy slices of potato interleaved with overcooked pork and a weird sweetish sauce' would have made me cry. Fair play to that woman (Heather?) for keeping it together


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## Infidel Castro (Feb 25, 2010)

I think that the sausage patty with egg and a homemade tomato sauce could have been classed as genius providing it delivered in the taste department.  The girl who came second a couple of years ago did a breakfast of sorts and they pretty much masturbated all over the dish .


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## Tacita (Feb 25, 2010)

trashpony said:


> woah - they only let 2 go through
> 
> Never before in the history of mc (afaik)



I was impressed 

Was anyone else willing the architect to fail?


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## Mr Retro (Feb 25, 2010)

trashpony said:


> They are getting much harsher though. Torode and his ' greasy slices of potato interleaved with overcooked pork and a weird sweetish sauce' would have made me cry. Fair play to that woman (Heather?) for keeping it together



To be fair that looked fucking horrible.

Love the 60's lass, I think she could go really far this year,


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## Biddlybee (Feb 25, 2010)

I swear the egg was poached


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## fractionMan (Feb 25, 2010)

I've been watching this on iplayer


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## Biddlybee (Feb 25, 2010)

Check if she's poaching the egg


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## Chester Copperpot (Feb 25, 2010)

I thought it was when I was watching but they said it was fried when she presented the dish.


Maybe she messed it up and had to improvise like the guy who 'regularly' made his own pasta.


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## Biddlybee (Feb 25, 2010)

Chester Copperpot said:


> Maybe she messed it up and had to improvise like the guy who 'regularly' made his own pasta.


Fair point


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## onenameshelley (Feb 25, 2010)

trashpony said:


> She was. And specially impressive for doing such a good job on hair and make up when she has so much other shit to do



I was sitting there going how the hell is her make up still on!?!? Then i realised she had made a pud instead of sweating over a pan, a pud  might I add that i would hooffed down in about a second had it come near me, looked yummy. I am hoping she is going to go far. Jonty on the other hand can bugger orrrrffff with his lego bricks of beetroot. 

That girl that cried i think she had an absolute stinker of a cold which might have been part of the reason her dish was such epic fail. Poor thing looked like the lower half of face was about to come off. 

Is it me or was there rather a lot of sweat dripping into food last night?


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## onenameshelley (Feb 25, 2010)

Chester Copperpot said:


> I thought it was when I was watching but they said it was fried when she presented the dish.
> 
> 
> Maybe she messed it up and had to improvise like the guy who 'regularly' made his own pasta.



who didnt flour his surface or his rolling pin! Thats why its sticking you fool, well that and you keep sweating on it!!


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## Biddlybee (Feb 25, 2010)

onenameshelley said:


> Is it me or was there rather a lot of sweat dripping into food last night?


Loads! Ewwwwwwwww


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## trashpony (Feb 25, 2010)

BiddlyBee said:


> Loads! Ewwwwwwwww



I always find that one of the most disturbing aspects of masterchef


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## Biddlybee (Feb 25, 2010)

at least it's only Torrode and whats-his-name that have to eat it!


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## Infidel Castro (Feb 25, 2010)

It was a particularly sweaty night.  That feller who dropped out of Law School was going at it like a rapist or - more accurately - like me after 5mins of football on a Thurs night.  Dripping!


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## onenameshelley (Feb 25, 2010)

Infidel Castro said:


> It was a particularly sweaty night.  That feller who dropped out of Law School was going at it like a rapist or - more accurately - like me after 5mins of football on a Thurs night.  Dripping!



not sure he made the right choice there to be honest. Was he the one with the serious lisp? I couldnt understand a word.  So thats sweat and spittle as you say bee good job its the best palate's in the UK noshing down on the food. 

I am quite excited about tonight's episode already.


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## Onket (Feb 25, 2010)

onenameshelley said:


> That girl that cried i think she had an absolute stinker of a cold which might have been part of the reason her dish was such epic fail. Poor thing looked like the lower half of face was about to come off.



Cocaine, not a cold.


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## Onket (Feb 25, 2010)

strung_out said:


> that was great. the guy who cut his finger early on turned out to be absolutely great, really unexpected



Is this fella still in it? I'm a bit confused by the formatting this time.


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## Biddlybee (Feb 25, 2010)

That's what I thought... her nose was bright red.


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## Onket (Feb 25, 2010)

Anyone who thought serving that was a good idea was clearly off her tits.


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## Gromit (Feb 25, 2010)

onenameshelley said:


> That girl that cried i think she had an absolute stinker of a cold which might have been part of the reason her dish was such epic fail. Poor thing looked like the lower half of face was about to come off.


 
Sometimes you can tell who is going through by how much air time they bother to give them before presenting their dishes.

She was pretty (which often sways them) and talked a good talk.

I was rooting for her.

Imagine my horror when she walked upto them smiling (look how clever i am - I don't buy her panic excuse she gave later) whilst carrying egg n saus with a jug of tomato soup!!!!!


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## Gromit (Feb 25, 2010)

trashpony said:


> woah - they only let 2 go through
> 
> Never before in the history of mc (afaik)


 
I loved that. 

We can only let the best chefs through, so bugger off you two as you are both rubbish.


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## onenameshelley (Feb 25, 2010)

Onket said:


> Anyone who thought serving that was a good idea was clearly off her tits.



I do love you, first thing to really make me laugh all day  

I do agree it was crap, she could of at least whipped up a mini toad in the hole or something.


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## Espresso (Feb 25, 2010)

Peach and tomato summer pudding with walnuts and cheese? 
Hell's teeth. There's another one who must have been tripping.

Did that bird last night leave her stash in the waiting room?


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## softybabe (Feb 25, 2010)

chocolate brownie with beetroot ..... yum not


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## Jeff Robinson (Feb 25, 2010)

softybabe said:


> chocolate brownie with beetroot ..... yum not



Nah beetroot in chocolate cake works really well - makes it lovely and moist, I've had it a couple of times. I'm surprised they're all WTF about it...


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## paulhackett (Feb 25, 2010)

softybabe said:


> chocolate brownie with beetroot ..... yum not



Russian munchies


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## softybabe (Feb 25, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Nah beetroot in chocolate cake works really well - makes it lovely and moist, I've had it a couple of times. I'm surprised they're all WTF about it...



I remain unconvinced....I need to taste it to be converted


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## Jeff Robinson (Feb 25, 2010)

softybabe said:


> I remain unconvinced....I need to taste it to be converted



Get cooking then...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/recipes/article2181551.ece


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## softybabe (Feb 25, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Get cooking then...
> 
> http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/recipes/article2181551.ece



cool ta for the link.....


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## trashpony (Feb 25, 2010)

I didn't know this was on. I am confused by the timings this year


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## Espresso (Feb 25, 2010)

softybabe said:


> chocolate brownie with beetroot ..... yum not



It's the same sort of weird sounding thing as carrot cake. Yet people scoff that by the plate load. 

Uselsss piece of information ahead - apparently, using sweet vegetables in cakes is an ancient practice, dating back to the times before we had sugar in these parts.


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## Santino (Feb 25, 2010)

Uncooked cooking apple lol


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## softybabe (Feb 25, 2010)

Espresso said:


> It's the same sort of weird sounding thing as carrot cake. Yet people scoff that by the plate load.
> 
> Uselsss piece of information ahead - apparently, using sweet vegetables in cakes is an ancient practice, dating back to the times before we had sugar in these parts.



nah!  carrot cake rules!!!  Tried and tested


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## Jeff Robinson (Feb 25, 2010)

Santino said:


> Uncooked cooking apple lol



Poor deluded guy  They should really vet people like that...


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## Scarlette (Feb 25, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Poor deluded guy  They should really vet people like that...



I wonder if they do it on purpose, like letting crap people to sing on X-Factor for the laughs.

The first round, I think, is really scary. I can imagine cooking something utterly rubbish.


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## mitochondria (Feb 25, 2010)

the chef is 100% stoner


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## hiccup (Feb 25, 2010)

I'm sure beetroot and chocolate cake has been done on MC before


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## hiccup (Feb 25, 2010)

Scallops! Chorizo! Pea puree!


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## Scarlette (Feb 25, 2010)

hiccup said:


> I'm sure beetroot and chocolate cake has been done on MC before



Me too! I have certainly heard of it before, I was surprised Greg seemed so amused by it.


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## Espresso (Feb 25, 2010)

Going to a pro kitchen to make sandwiches?
Crikey.


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## Espresso (Feb 25, 2010)

softybabe said:


> nah!  carrot cake rules!!!  Tried and tested



You're going to be saying that about your beetroot chocolate brownie, you know; you veggie cakey person, you.


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## Santino (Feb 25, 2010)

John and Gregg have more energy than they did last year. They were really phoning it in then.


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## N_igma (Feb 25, 2010)

Crikey what a mouthful!


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## softybabe (Feb 25, 2010)

Espresso said:


> You're going to be saing that about your beetroot chocolate brownie, you know; you veggie cakey person, you.



 no!!! never!!! ..........maybe


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## onenameshelley (Feb 26, 2010)

Santino said:


> Uncooked cooking apple lol



 that was quite funny, i was watching him keep poking at it with the knife thinking that aint cooking mate. Should have cut it in half.


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## cesare (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm enjoying watching these on iPlayer in the early hours


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## onenameshelley (Feb 26, 2010)

oh and you totally knew the fashion buyer was going through, i didnt think any of them were amazing though.


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## Mr Retro (Feb 26, 2010)

Hurrah for 60's girl - I love the kind of food she cooks.

I hate that over fashioned stuff the other guy does. It's bullshit. I'd rather eat my own tongue


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## Espresso (Feb 27, 2010)

Mr Retro loves 60s girl? 
I love it when user names are apposite. Easily amused, me.

But anyway, yup; her grub looked the best. Even that steak she did in the test bit first looked immense.


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## Spark (Feb 27, 2010)

She's also been completely consistent, right from the invention test 

I liked Terry from last week too


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## onenameshelley (Feb 27, 2010)

Mr Retro said:


> Hurrah for 60's girl - I love the kind of food she cooks.
> 
> I hate that over fashioned stuff the other guy does. It's bullshit. I'd rather eat my own tongue



yup we cheered when she went through as well, very good at what she does. Thank fuck Jonty has gone. What a dick. When i order dessert i want it simple not a million little tubes of goop. 

Trashy you know you were saying about not knowing when it was on, well i didnt realise it was going to be on yesterday and only just caught it. 

So i think it must be wed (20:00), Thur (20:00), Fri (19:30) so now hopefully you wont miss anymore.


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## Mr Retro (Feb 27, 2010)

Espresso said:


> Mr Retro loves 60s girl?
> I love it when user names are apposite. Easily amused, me.
> 
> But anyway, yup; her grub looked the best. Even that steak she did in the test bit first looked immense.



  I didn't make that connection myself 

One of the things wrong with Masterchef though (apart from one of the judges not knowing much about food) is they want Michelin Star grub and the competitors to strive towards that kind of cooking.

Fuck that, my favorite chefs/cooks don't care a fuck for Michelin - people like Richard Corrigan, Rick Stein, Darina Allen and later cooks like Levi Roots. And totally unknown faceless cooks like the women who are the chefs in O Cantinho and The Gallery in Brixton. Thats food. 

OK I think Corrigan might have a star in his new restaurant but he's not looking for one. He's just so good they had to give him one.


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## Gromit (Feb 28, 2010)

They tease Anthony Warrell Thompson because he had stars and lost them. 

He always replies that he'd rather make money by selling food the brittish public want, Than have a star and lose money pandering to the frenchies and their guide (which was what was happening before). 

His grub is my kind of grub.


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## Captain Hurrah (Feb 28, 2010)

I remember the days, or rather Sunday afternoons, when we had an American twat watching over a granny, an A-level student and a housewife make stuff like scrambled eggs or a cream cake.


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## onenameshelley (Mar 1, 2010)

Captain Hurrah said:


> I remember the days, or rather Sunday afternoons, when we had an American twat watching over a granny, an A-level student and a housewife make stuff like scrambled eggs or a cream cake.



i do too and well the new style is just so much better.


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## machine cat (Mar 3, 2010)

Anyone watching now?


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## trashpony (Mar 3, 2010)

Ooh forgot - ta for the nudge


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## machine cat (Mar 3, 2010)

How can you go on masterchef and undercook fish? :?


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## trashpony (Mar 3, 2010)

That was the fakest 'ooh which one shall we choose' ever

LOL I got that wrong


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## Espresso (Mar 3, 2010)

Hell's bells, if I'd been in that first heat, I'd have been delighted. It had all the ingredients for a dish I cook a lot. Except that I use haddock, rather than pollock. But still, it would work. And they might even like it.

Mind you, I'd be hoofed off after I'd punched the professional chef squarely on the conk when he shouted at me in the pro kitchen. Unless it was Marcus Waring or Jean Christophe Novelli.
In which case I'd be hoofed off for snogging the face off chef.


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## clicker (Mar 3, 2010)

Glad both the guys got through....the tailor and the doctor....i'd put a sneaky tenner on one of them two winning the series. The tailor's presentation of a skate wing was quite beautiful, and as someone who hates anything fishy, I was impressed.


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## N_igma (Mar 3, 2010)

I knew straight away they would put both through.


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## ashie259 (Mar 4, 2010)

Very satisfying episode last night.

Two excellent chefs - bound to go through. Some absolute muppets - posh Toby with his cream and chorizo pasta  and the uncooked-fish brigade.

And I thought Alice was very pretty.


----------



## Santino (Mar 4, 2010)

I thought that blokes name was Taylor-Will for most of the episode.


----------



## big eejit (Mar 4, 2010)

N_igma said:


> I knew straight away they would put both through.



Jon and Greg have a massive thing for posh blokes. They would never kick one out at this stage. It's like it vindicates their show that these posh men have the _pashun_.


----------



## ashie259 (Mar 4, 2010)

Santino said:


> I thought that blokes name was Taylor-Will for most of the episode.



That was to distinguish him from 'mum-of-two' Keeley, 'children's doctor' wotsisname (not paediatrician, then?), etc...


----------



## machine cat (Mar 4, 2010)

The Skate looked pretty lush.


----------



## mrsfran (Mar 4, 2010)

ashie259 said:


> That was to distinguish him from 'mum-of-two' Keeley, 'children's doctor' wotsisname (not paediatrician, then?), etc...


 
They avoided calling him a paediatrician in case thick people thought that meant he's a paedo.

My money's on Taylor Will. I like him a lot. I want him and Stacey in the final.


----------



## Santino (Mar 4, 2010)

I want Stacey too. I will marry her and she'll cook me classic British dishes and we'll live happily ever after in the Sixties.


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 4, 2010)

50s


----------



## cesare (Mar 4, 2010)

missfran said:


> They avoided calling him a paediatrician in case thick people thought that meant he's a paedo.
> 
> My money's on Taylor Will. I like him a lot. I want him and Stacey in the final.



It's going to be tough if it's Stacey and Will in the final. I think I'd want Stacey to win ... but I've a feeling that Will would have that extra flash flourish to edge it.


----------



## ashie259 (Mar 4, 2010)

Santino said:


> I want Stacey too. I will marry her and she'll cook me classic British dishes and we'll live happily ever after in the Sixties.


You're too late - she's already taken. He probably has a canny tea waiting for him when he comes back from standing at the Roker end, whistling a jaunty tune by Susan Maughan, hands deep in the pockets of his car coat. Or something.

I hope she wins, too. Tailor Will looks to have it sewn up, though


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 4, 2010)

Which one was Will... the one who wasn't the paediatrician? The younger one with glasses last night?


----------



## cesare (Mar 4, 2010)

BiddlyBee said:


> Which one was Will... the one who wasn't the paediatrician?



The Saville Row tailor, with the aesthetic looking face and specs.


----------



## BoatieBird (Mar 4, 2010)

I'd like to see Stacey in the final, and floppy haired, tongue-tied Terry as well please!
There are some really good cooks in it this year so far.


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 4, 2010)

I was only half watching... so missed most of the bits where they said what people did (apart from the childrens doctor)... but I think I've got the one - made his own raviloli?


----------



## BoatieBird (Mar 4, 2010)

BiddlyBee said:


> Which one was Will... the one who wasn't the paediatrician? The younger one with glasses last night?



If I'd had to guess his occupation then I think I would have gone for undertaker


----------



## Santino (Mar 4, 2010)

BiddlyBee said:


> 50s



The commentary quite CLEARLY said she wanted to start a Sixties themed cafe.


----------



## Santino (Mar 4, 2010)

But what will happen when these so-called contenders arrive OUTSIDE THEIR COMFORT ZONE?


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 4, 2010)

Santino said:


> The commentary quite CLEARLY said she wanted to start a Sixties themed cafe.


OK 

I thought she looked a bit more 50s. You have a wife already anyway!


----------



## Santino (Mar 4, 2010)

BiddlyBee said:


> OK
> 
> I thought she looked a bit more 50s. You have a wife already anyway!



Not in the 1960s.


----------



## cesare (Mar 4, 2010)

BiddlyBee said:


> I was only half watching... so missed most of the bits where they said what people did (apart from the childrens doctor)... but I think I've got the one - made his own raviloli?



That's the one.


----------



## ashie259 (Mar 4, 2010)

Santino said:


> The commentary quite CLEARLY said she wanted to start a Sixties themed cafe.


And the beehive and the Fred Perry polo quite CLEARLY say sixties.


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 4, 2010)

ashie259 said:


> And the beehive and the Fred Perry polo quite CLEARLY say sixties.


There were beehives in the 50s... but ok, I'll concede that I don't listen to most of the commentary


----------



## ashie259 (Mar 4, 2010)

The only thing I don't like about Stacie/Stacey is that she says she wants the whole book deal, TV show and general media career - without ever having had a job in catering. She may be 60s-themed, but she's very much of her time.


----------



## Santino (Mar 4, 2010)

ashie259 said:


> The only thing I don't like about Stacie/Stacey is that she says she wants the whole book deal, TV show and general media career - without ever having had a job in catering. She may be 60s-themed, but she's very much of her time.



She's dead to me now.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 4, 2010)

Amanda's hot - fucking "advertising manager" though...


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 4, 2010)

Where r all teh Marrrster Chef! live bloggers? 

C'mon, u can b "food bloggers" like that bloke wot didn't get through.

Marrrster Chef uses the shittest drum n bass I've evah heard. Obviously off some crappy T.V music demo cd shite.


----------



## mrsfran (Mar 4, 2010)

Pork, puy lentils and sage? This round's a piece of piss. I'd ace it.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 4, 2010)

I wouldn't, I'm jewish


----------



## Espresso (Mar 4, 2010)

Pork and prunes should be a winner.


----------



## Scarlette (Mar 4, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Amanda's hot - fucking "advertising manager" though...



As is the trainee teacher fella. I'd forgive him for overcooking pork.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 4, 2010)

Feel sorry for the Bristolian lass...


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 4, 2010)

Scarlette said:


> As is the trainee teacher fella. I'd forgive him for overcooking pork.



Yes, I'm no gay, but I would*

*forgive him that is...


----------



## Espresso (Mar 4, 2010)

Might have known we couldn't get through the whole hour without scallops.


----------



## N_igma (Mar 4, 2010)

AGAIN! You sicken me masterchef!


----------



## clicker (Mar 4, 2010)

I thought the plate of spat out pomegranite pips looked pretty.

I always feel sorry for someone in the pro kitchen challenge, one always gets to make a tossed green salad, while the other one has to hand carve swans from melon, balance them on tiger prawns they have just caught them selves whilst whistling the theme tune from Match of the Day.....and not be under seasoned.


----------



## big eejit (Mar 5, 2010)

clicker said:


> I always feel sorry for someone in the pro kitchen challenge, one always gets to make a tossed green salad, while the other one has to hand carve swans from melon, balance them on tiger prawns they have just caught them selves whilst whistling the theme tune from Match of the Day.....and not be under seasoned.



I know bugger all about cooking but it seems to me that the secret to a great Masterchef dish is salt.

Masterchef glossary:

Can (s)he pack flavour into this dish? - Will (s)he remember to add salt?
Needs seasoning - (s)he forgot to add salt
Just needs something to bring it all together - needs more salt


----------



## Gromit (Mar 5, 2010)

big eejit said:


> Masterchef glossary:
> 
> Just needs something to bring it all together - *needs more salt*


 
Wrong. That one reads: Fucked up their sauce and so served it without.


----------



## Infidel Castro (Mar 5, 2010)

What possesses otherwise presumably sane folk to come onto Masterchef and in the first round attempt foodstuffs they've never before tackled.  How many times have we heard "...I'm not very good at desserts but I wanted to impress you," or "I don't normally put all these three milion pieces of garnish on my plate and use far too many flavours..."

FFS people, stick to tried and tested with what you're given in the first round, then starting fannying about in the cook off.  Sheesh.


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 5, 2010)

Nerves?


----------



## Infidel Castro (Mar 5, 2010)

No - misplaced confidence in their own skillz I'd say.


----------



## Spark (Mar 5, 2010)

or being presented with ingredients which aren't the sort of things they'd usually cook - although this probably means they shouldn't be there in the first place


----------



## Infidel Castro (Mar 5, 2010)

Spark said:


> or being presented with ingredients which aren't the sort of things they'd usually cook - although this probably means they shouldn't be there in the first place



Bang on the money there.  All they need to do is pratice with white fish, your main meats, the basic veg and combos thereof, and they'll be away.  It's all about classic combos, well-presented, cooked properly.  That so many have completely farked up at the first stage this year boggles the mind.


----------



## Spark (Mar 5, 2010)

exactly - what makes someone think they can win masterchef if they enter and have never cooked fish before


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 5, 2010)

Did someone actually say they hadn't cooked fish before... and then choose to cook fish?

Or did they just fuck it up because they were nervous?


----------



## Gromit (Mar 5, 2010)

I think it's doubt that leads people to use too many ingredients. 

They are told the food has to be special so they how to make it more special? Add more to it.


----------



## Spark (Mar 5, 2010)

I think the scottish blonde one the other day said she hadn't and then started to cook fish.  She then messed it up so did something else.  She seemed to get through because they were impressed she had created something basically competent having restarted half way (and everyone else that day seemed really rubbish)


----------



## janeb (Mar 10, 2010)

scallops, spinach and passion fruit


----------



## Gromit (Mar 10, 2010)

Samphire not spinach.

Once again I'm upset by the fact that part 1 had three very good cooks. Part 2 seems to have 3 cooks who aren't as good as the who didn't make it through part 1.

Mind you thats only going by the invention test. Yet to see their show pieces.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 10, 2010)

janeb said:


> scallops, spinach and passion fruit



She killed it though. If executed well that sorta shit can work. I had seared tuna with diced papaya and basil seed oil at the London once. Was well nice.

Stewart's plate of food looked disgusting - like a squid had just been butchered on it.


----------



## Infidel Castro (Mar 10, 2010)

I can't believe that Saville Row tailor went out last week.  Gutted.  And I'm going to catch up with today's after I get meself back from work...


----------



## clicker (Mar 10, 2010)

Infidel Castro said:


> I can't believe that Saville Row tailor went out last week.  Gutted.  And I'm going to catch up with today's after I get meself back from work...



I thought he and the 'childrens doctor' both got through....I've put a sneaky non existent tenner on the tailor to win the series.


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 11, 2010)

I think you've lost your non existant tenner clicker


----------



## onenameshelley (Mar 11, 2010)

i am so bloody confused by who is who at the moment. I did like roz from last night. Bless some people have been really awful this series.

I like it where i get to the point where i recognise people and start really rooting for them. I was pleased the cute little scottish fella went through.


----------



## Gromit (Mar 11, 2010)

I was worried he wouldn't get through.  

He has the touch but also a very obvious lack of experience of quality food. E.g when a sauce is needed. 

Glad they valued the natural talent. Hopefully they can teach him a few things and he'll improve.


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 11, 2010)

So tonight is another set of first rounds isn't it?


----------



## cesare (Mar 11, 2010)

BiddlyBee said:


> So tonight is another set of first rounds isn't it?



Yep. Then ½ an hour of second rounds tomorrow (if last week's anything to go by)


----------



## Espresso (Mar 11, 2010)

clicker said:


> I thought he and the 'childrens doctor' both got through....I've put a sneaky non existent tenner on the tailor to win the series.



Tailor Will got chucked out last Friday. He and the doc were both put through the first round, together. But in the next round it was back to Saville Row for Will the stitcher. 
Good job it was a non-existant tenner.


----------



## wayward bob (Mar 11, 2010)

i sooo wanted tailor will to win. maybe cos i spend all my time cooking these days but hanker after being a tailor, i saw it as some kind of potential job swap  plus he was cute.


----------



## Gromit (Mar 11, 2010)

Tailor was unfortunate to be in that quarter final. Bet yer arse he'll be better than the winner of at least one other semi. The other chap did deserve to win though. 

Although the fact they only got to do one dish instead of the usual two (due to have spent so long on the first challenge due to having so many quarter finalists) made me feel cheated. As well as giving people less opportunity to shine.


----------



## N_igma (Mar 11, 2010)

I prefered child doctor. Last nights offering was pretty dire.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 11, 2010)

Loving John's mid-life crisis top!


----------



## Gromit (Mar 11, 2010)

What the hell is wrong with fried potatoes and a cream sauce. He's had a go at that before.

Has he never had steak, chips and a béarnaise or a diane sauce?

Just because they do it in pubs and steak houses rather than mitchylynne restaurants doesn't make it bad


----------



## trashpony (Mar 11, 2010)

Gromit said:


> What the hell is wrong with fried potatoes and a cream sauce. He's had a go at that before.
> 
> Has he never had steak, chips and a béarnaise or a diane sauce?
> 
> Just because they do it in pubs and steak houses rather than *mitchylynne *restaurants doesn't make it bad



 like it


----------



## clicker (Mar 11, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Loving John's mid-life crisis top!



Exactly....what was he trying to do me hearties....bit jack sparrow bit marcel marceau....bit of a tosser john boy....he looked like a reject from the sensational alex harvey band....I do wonder if some of the females have a hankering after him...they appear too happy when  he compliments their lightness of touch at times.

I could so have enjoyed that butternut squash ravioli....and if my chocolate fondue turned out like that I'd be whooping up my big success....picky picky judging at times.....having said that they made the right call tonight.

Gutted the tailor got stitched up and is no more....he was my big hope, I had him fronting a daytime tv show and everything....cute, quirky and can cook....that's my eye candy gawn...


----------



## Espresso (Mar 11, 2010)

clicker said:


> .I do wonder if some of the females have a hankering after him...they appear too happy when  he compliments their lightness of touch at times.



The only competition there is Egghead, so of course Torode's going to be the one to get any attention that's going.


----------



## wayward bob (Mar 11, 2010)

Gromit said:


> What the hell is wrong with fried potatoes and a cream sauce. He's had a go at that before.
> 
> Has he never had steak, chips and a béarnaise or a diane sauce?
> 
> Just because they do it in pubs and steak houses rather than mitchylynne restaurants doesn't make it bad



yeah wtf was that? my imaginary dish would have been very similar and i have no problem at all with (non-greasy) fried/roast spuds with a sharp/mustardy cream sauce.


----------



## clicker (Mar 12, 2010)

I liked the way they almost disssed the prawn quiche for being too "seventies".....ffs we had quiche tonight....I am not a fan of my food piled up into a little tower and balanced on a scallop. One thing that puts me right off is seeing the amount of hands on business the food gets treated to in the kitchens of those restaurants....I mean I know they have to touch it to cook it....but by the time it arrives at the table it has intimate knowledge of the chef...all that pawing and slapping about.....I'd rather live in ignorance that it has just been stirred around a bit with a sterile spatula.


----------



## g force (Mar 12, 2010)

I like that none of them made it last night seeing as all their dishes were shit.


----------



## TrippyLondoner (Mar 12, 2010)

g force said:


> I like that none of them made it last night seeing as all their dishes were shit.



Really? haha, that must be a first?


----------



## cesare (Mar 12, 2010)

g force said:


> I like that none of them made it last night seeing as all their dishes were shit.




They were pretty bad, weren't they.


----------



## 100% masahiko (Mar 12, 2010)

They were beyond bad.
Real basic errors - like overcooking noodles and having a salad dish as a main, on a cooking contest? 

Anyone tried entering? 
Been watching this series. 

Is it always European cooking that goes through?


----------



## trashpony (Mar 12, 2010)

100% masahiko said:


> They were beyond bad.
> Real basic errors - like overcooking noodles and having a salad dish as a main, on a cooking contest?
> 
> Anyone tried entering?
> ...



No, not always. 

They are being much harsher this series - they always put three people through to the next round in previous ones and one always went through to the 1/4 finals at the end. It's much more exciting this year and there aren't going to be a couple of duffers in the 1/4 finals either - in prior years there's always been one or two who clearly weren't going to make it


----------



## Gromit (Mar 12, 2010)

I remember that gujarati chef woman going all the way to the end. However she was also able to cook European when challenged to. She had the skill to pass it off. 

Whereas that woman the other day could do her own regional food but bombed when ask to do a French dish.


----------



## wayward bob (Mar 17, 2010)

when are they going to learn how to pronounce chorizo ffs, it's spanish not italian 

did the bumfluff beardy guy really make a _tobacco_ sauce or was i imagining things?


----------



## Espresso (Mar 18, 2010)

Yup. And that other lad in the second one put tea in his mashed potatoes.
I'd sooner have a cup of tea and a fag, myself. 
Which is why I suppose I'll never be a culinary genius for whom cooking *doesn't* get tougher than this and nor will it CHANGE MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE.

I've seen cheffy types doing that sort of thing before on the telly. I suppose they infuse a stock with the flavours then use that to make the soup or spuds or ice cream or custard or mousse or whatever. Like they do with the more usual flavoury things like herbs and spices. And lately; lavender. Lavender in grub just seems wrong to me.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 18, 2010)

Oh noes - salty cheese cake that didn't set!


----------



## Gromit (Mar 18, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Oh noes - salty cheese cake that didn't set!



LMAO it couldn't have been more wrong if it had been on fire.  She wasn't at all surprised she was going. 

Is it just me or is that Nargis (sp?) sexy as hell?


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 18, 2010)

Gromit said:


> LMAO it couldn't have been more wrong if it had been on fire.



Flaming salty cheese cake would've been better.



Gromit said:


> She wasn't at all surprised she was going



Poor thing, felt sorry for her.



Gromit said:


> Is it just me or is that Nargis (sp?) sexy as hell?




mmm, maybe, but I prefer Cheris. Aftan's pretty hot too though.


----------



## miss minnie (Mar 18, 2010)

Just don't:

serve Ghanaian, Andamian, Micronesian or any other exotic and wonderful cuisine with mashed potato and call it 'fusion'.  

say that your dream is to open a cafe with attached gallery/sauna/dentists/vet


----------



## miss minnie (Mar 18, 2010)

clarice is cooking a melange of fava beans with caramelized chianti coulis and jenga of silenced lamb


----------



## big eejit (Mar 18, 2010)

Surprise surprise as another posh bloke goes through.


----------



## clicker (Mar 18, 2010)

He definitely had a touch of the Amish about him...


----------



## mitochondria (Mar 22, 2010)

john trumps gregg again


----------



## Gromit (Mar 22, 2010)

Moule mariniere. It shouldn't have cream whinge whinge whinge Jon. 

Rick Stein's recipe on the BBC website features cream. Seeing as your programme is on the Beeb too I'm guessing you'll be telling them to take it down. 

FFS Jon what is your beef against cream? First it was having a go at cream sauces with chips and now this!


----------



## belboid (Mar 23, 2010)

Stein, proudly, doesnt make a 'classic' mariniere, which is what they were asked to make. So they did it wrong, altho it still tasted nice.


----------



## g force (Mar 23, 2010)

If a french restaurant put cream in it their patrons would be up in arms! Think it was right that both went through last night. Will was it? Posh dude...I liked him and his attitude.


----------



## tarannau (Mar 23, 2010)

Yesterdays episode seemed to consist of Garfield and John continually shouting about 'wanting to taste the pee' at nearly opportunity.

It wasa little disturbing to be honest. I bet that Greg Garfield's into Coprophilia too.


----------



## Quartz (Mar 23, 2010)

Gromit said:


> Is it just me or is that Nargis (sp?) sexy as hell?



I was disappointed that the surgeon didn't go through instead of her. He came across as an equal cook and the better chef.


----------



## Gromit (Mar 23, 2010)

Quartz said:


> I was disappointed that the surgeon didn't go through instead of her. He came across as an equal cook and the better chef.



Her personality and emotions shine through her face and interactions with the judges. 
She brings something different to the competition. 

The other bloke had a really unattractive beard. 
He did a sweet starter which upset Jon, who doesn't have a sweet tooth. If Jon decides he don't like you then you've had it.  (I saw nothing wrong with it, if it's on a menu and you don't have a sweet tooth you wouldn't order it, others however would think it genius.)
Personality was a bit boring.

In a 50/50 decision they are going to go with the face and personality that will sell the most Masterchef cook books. Sorry but that's TV competitions for you.


----------



## ebay sex moomin (Mar 23, 2010)

clicker said:


> I am not a fan of my food piled up into a little tower and balanced on a scallop.





> One thing that puts me right off is seeing the amount of hands on business the food gets treated to in the kitchens of those restaurants....



one thing that bothers me is that none of the chefs in the pro-kitchens seem to wear hats, to stop their stray hairs from falling into the food. Do people really want to eat a lot of hair pie these days?!

I know _I_ do!  just not in a restaurant


----------



## big eejit (Mar 24, 2010)

Jon - Have you ever cooked pork before? Have you ever cooked human before? Muhahaha!


----------



## belboid (Mar 24, 2010)

four of them failing to recognise lamb was really quite astounding


----------



## cesare (Mar 24, 2010)

belboid said:


> four of them failing to recognise lamb was really quite astounding



I was really surprised at that too.


----------



## lunatrick (Mar 24, 2010)

belboid said:


> four of them failing to recognise lamb was really quite astounding



the really astounding thing was that some of them got through anyway!


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Mar 24, 2010)

Beef, pork, DUCK, I mean wtf was going through their heads, was the mint yoghurt and that spicy aubergine thing not enough of a clue?


----------



## clicker (Mar 24, 2010)

How dare they diss pineapple and cream...we were brought up on pineapple chunks and nestle tinned cream...proper sunday pudding....food of the gods.

And I wouldnt want all that flabby fat hanging off my lamb thanks.

I knew the man who squeezed out that  bowl of diluted blood with a bit of lobster flailing in the middle was a gonner.

I did like the look of the food that 'appeared to have been made on the side of the road' though....cauliflower fritters and the stew....this programme re-enforces my opinion that i am common as muck.


----------



## Biddlybee (Mar 25, 2010)

Lol... my first thought was fruit salad and tip top


----------



## Gromit (Mar 25, 2010)

Last season they had come back contestants worthy of a semi final place. Not this year. All quite inferior and the producers knew it. Burger and chips as a skill test? How easy is that?! Half of em still fucked up the chips!!!!


----------



## Santino (Mar 25, 2010)

If four out of six people identify your lamb as another meat, you have to think about your own cooking ability, surely?


----------



## belboid (Mar 25, 2010)

Gromit said:


> Last season they had come back contestants worthy of a semi final place. Not this year. All quite inferior and the producers knew it. Burger and chips as a skill test? How easy is that?! Half of em still fucked up the chips!!!!



I thought it was actually kinda clever.  Cos what they fucked up on was the timing, they all dived in without thinking 'hang on, i'll never get the fat hot enough to cook these.'  Everyone should have chosen the carbonara (tho only one of them actually looked edible, iirr)


----------



## Gromit (Mar 25, 2010)

Santino said:


> If four out of six people identify your lamb as another meat, you have to think about your own cooking ability, surely?


 
There were too many flavours in that dish. The result was confused. He didn't allow the lamb to be the star of the dish. So we're agreed? Jon is out!


----------



## g force (Mar 25, 2010)

Gromit said:


> There were too many flavours in that dish. The result was confused. He didn't allow the lamb to be the star of the dish. So we're agreed? Jon is out!



Very good  Although texture, colour and taste of the meat should have been enough really.

Duck? Duck FFS??!!! Beef? What sort of Beef did that person eat?!?


----------



## belboid (Mar 25, 2010)

The fat should have made it obvious it wasnt beef. the pinkness that it wasnt pork.  Fuck knows wher duck came from.  But the duck woman turned out the winner didnt she?


----------



## mrsfran (Mar 25, 2010)

I can see where she got duck from, lamb and duck can look similar in colour, particularly if a bit pink.


----------



## ashie259 (Mar 25, 2010)

wayward bob said:


> when are they going to learn how to pronounce chorizo ffs, it's spanish not italian


^This. It drives me mad.

What a rubbish episode last night, with mediocre contestants. And did John T cook that dish six times, or did the last people to taste have to eat a poked-around, cold dish? There's so much fiction in this series - it's edited to within an inch of its life.

Think I'll have a night off it tonight - looking forward to the semis tomorrow night, though. Shame it's only half an hour - whereas last night's seemed to go on forever. I even went off to do the washing-up halfway through.


----------



## belboid (Mar 25, 2010)

is it the semi's tomorrow?  i thought it was the last quarter proper.  semi's start next week


----------



## cesare (Mar 25, 2010)

belboid said:


> is it the semi's tomorrow?  i thought it was the last quarter proper.  semi's start next week




Radiotimes says it's the first of the semis tomorrow.


----------



## belboid (Mar 25, 2010)

aah yes, tonight:

"[as last night, and then] The best of the cooks then go head to head with the previous heat winner as they battle for the one remaining place in the semi-finals, taking them one step closer to becoming the next MasterChef."


----------



## cesare (Mar 25, 2010)

belboid said:


> aah yes, tonight:
> 
> "[as last night, and then] The best of the cooks then go head to head with the previous heat winner as they battle for the one remaining place in the semi-finals, taking them one step closer to becoming the next MasterChef."



I can't see any of that lot from last night coming close to any of the quarter finalists so far. Maybe tonight will be better.


----------



## belboid (Mar 25, 2010)

One never can tell, one of them might turn out summat amazing. It is (or should be) something they've practised for yonks.  I'm not holding me breath tho

Applications being taken for next series, http://apply.shinegroup.tv/masterchef/applicationform.apply


----------



## Gromit (Mar 25, 2010)

Harder first round tonight than last night. 

I'd not know where to start with either of those dishes. 

Yesterday I could have had a bash.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Mar 25, 2010)

I reckon that Drewv (?) guy is gonna win this.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Mar 25, 2010)

this programme makes me laugh out loud sometimes


----------



## Gromit (Mar 25, 2010)

Surprise Daryl Hannah did get through to pro kitchen.


----------



## N_igma (Mar 25, 2010)

John is a really good cook and Gregg just stares at him with that "you fucking cunt you're better than me" look. It's brill! Don't like the whole idea of losers coming back, if you weren't good enough the last time round then feck off I say


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Mar 25, 2010)

Greg looks like a dog being shown a card trick when John cooks.
Was it just me or did it look like John burnt the crap out of his bisque btw?


----------



## mitochondria (Mar 25, 2010)

Gregg's face when he tasted the custard cream setup. I want an animated gif of that.


----------



## clicker (Mar 25, 2010)

The venison made me heave...like plated up roadkill....the cherry pud was ok....but worthy of a semi final?? And I was sure I heard one of them comment " it was a big arse" half way through....that was the best moment until I realised it was "big ask"....


----------



## janeb (Mar 31, 2010)

Poor Terry


----------



## Gromit (Mar 31, 2010)

Gutted for him. 

The fact he was unemployed really meant ALL his hopes and dreams were on this. 

The result of that? A nervous wreck. That what got him out not his cooking. Ability to handle pressure. 

Possibly unfair because he had more pressure on him to win than the rest.


----------



## janeb (Mar 31, 2010)

Looks like he's working in a pro kitchen now

http://www.hinckleytimes.net/news-i...ry-aims-for-masterchef-final-105367-26115670/


----------



## Gromit (Mar 31, 2010)

Where does it say that?

I don't know whether to like or dislike the fact that all the final 6 are tweeting each other.


----------



## wayward bob (Mar 31, 2010)

can't believe "children's doctor" whatshisname got through with that thing with the saffron potatoes that looked like the cat had puked on it 

(still bitter he knocked out tailor will)


----------



## DJ Squelch (Apr 1, 2010)

Terry needs to stop scratching his head all the time, it's off puting in someone preparing food for you. 

Wish him well though, maybe it's just nerves. I'd be a mess if someone filmed me making a glass of orange squash


----------



## janeb (Apr 1, 2010)

janeb said:


> Looks like he's working in a pro kitchen now
> 
> http://www.hinckleytimes.net/news-i...ry-aims-for-masterchef-final-105367-26115670/



Oops, wrong link, I did see it somewhere...


----------



## Tacita (Apr 1, 2010)

janeb said:


> Oops, wrong link, I did see it somewhere...



here?



> Terry has certainly come a long way since filming MasterChef. Then he was unemployed and broke but now he’s forging a career as a chef by working in a local restaurant.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 1, 2010)

Gromit said:


> Where does it say that?
> 
> I don't know whether to like or dislike the fact that all the final 6 are tweeting each other.



And if you follow them you can pretty much tell who won because they all suck up to one in particular.

Can I bet on it anywhere?


----------



## kabbes (Apr 1, 2010)

missfran said:


> Can I bet on it anywhere?


I believe that you can't actually bet on events that have already happened, as a matter of principle.  Not sure if it is an actual law or just sensible practice though.


----------



## mrsfran (Apr 1, 2010)

Darn. Because I'm about 99% certain I know who it is.


----------



## clicker (Apr 2, 2010)

What a stupid set up regarding the kitchens and dining room in the Tower of London...or is it meant to add to the skill involved, having to cart your mash over ancient cobbles?


----------



## belboid (Apr 2, 2010)

made it interesting tho.  good luck for the paedo that the round counts for nowt as he was the only one to fuck up really. I wish the pigs ear had made everyone vomit so they'd have to chuck chris martin out for legal reasons, but you can't have everything.  and the marvellous stacie shone through trhere, which was nice.


----------



## ymu (Apr 2, 2010)

It was fine in terms of something that professional chefs have to deal with, but a bit unfair not to warn them in advance before they designed their dishes. Having said that, it would have been a nightmare regardless for the fish course, and Sixties Girl played a blinder. 

Last year, the two boys who had been producing pretty food from the getgo lost out to an outsider who was a lot like Stacie - hearty flavoursome food, messily presented, close call on getting into the final stages. Dhruz is probably the strongest contender right now, if he can sort out the silly mistakes. It's Stacie's to win and his to lose, I reckon - if they both fuck up, one of the pretty-food boys will take it.


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Apr 2, 2010)

missfran said:


> And if you follow them you can pretty much tell who won because they all suck up to one in particular.
> 
> Can I bet on it anywhere?



Not on pre-records no, for obvious reasons.

You can bet on the uk version of Hells Kitchen on Betfair, but that's about it. It's dodgy as hell, which is why there's rarely much money matched on these markets.

For example, the first year Marco Pierre White hosted the show, Barry MacGuigan won (perplexingly for the viewer, as despite being popular he appeared to do little more than make mashed potato). Astute readers of MPW's at the time newly-released "White Slave" biog would however have noticed MPW gushing about how much he was looking forward to working with the boxer in the forthcoming series, perhaps noting also that they shared an agent. 

I did a lot of research on shared agents etc for the next series too (MPW's a lock for these sort of favours, but couldn't find any links dammit. Next time maybe...


----------



## belboid (Apr 2, 2010)

ymu said:


> It was fine in terms of something that professional chefs have to deal with, but a bit unfair not to warn them in advance before they designed their dishes. Having said that, it would have been a nightmare regardless for the fish course, and Sixties Girl played a blinder.
> 
> Last year, the two boys who had been producing pretty food from the getgo lost out to an outsider who was a lot like Stacie - hearty flavoursome food, messily presented, close call on getting into the final stages. Dhruz is probably the strongest contender right now, if he can sort out the silly mistakes. It's Stacie's to win and his to lose, I reckon - if they both fuck up, one of the pretty-food boys will take it.


not so sure, oor Stacie nearly went out in the first bit yesterday, fortunately for her Nargis applied her newly learnt skills even less well than she did.  i think the paedo is probably the favourite, made fewest mistakes, always turned out interesting well presented food. As long as it isn't the vapid posh twat I'm not too fussed tho, would happily eat at Stace or Wally Jumblatts restaurant.


----------



## strung out (Apr 2, 2010)

paedo doc is rubbish i reckon. hopefully, he's off in the next episode.


----------



## ernestolynch (Apr 2, 2010)

I hope Heartbeat girl wins. Nargis - nuts on fish - LMAO


----------



## ymu (Apr 2, 2010)

belboid said:


> not so sure, oor Stacie nearly went out in the first bit yesterday, fortunately for her Nargis applied her newly learnt skills even less well than she did.  i think the paedo is probably the favourite, made fewest mistakes, always turned out interesting well presented food. As long as it isn't the vapid posh twat I'm not too fussed tho, would happily eat at Stace or Wally Jumblatts restaurant.


They don't have a fixed number to go out at each round this time. They could easily have sent two or more home - or indeed, none.

The reason I think it was a close call is that she made the same mistake as Nargis, in trying to copy the dish she'd done at the restaurant with a different set of ingredients. Looked pretty, but made no sense. She learnt how to do presentation, but not with the sort of food she's good at producing.

Not saying she doesn't deserve to be there at all. I think she's fab. It just reminded me a lot of Matt last year. I think she has the most catching up to do, just as he did. I'd like to see the same story unfold too.


----------



## ymu (Apr 2, 2010)

ernestolynch said:


> I hope Heartbeat girl wins. Nargis - nuts on fish - LMAO



I'll give you stunningly long odds on that one. Fancy a bet?


----------



## onenameshelley (Apr 2, 2010)

I still really Stacy to win, but i have a feeling i might be out of luck, i suspect it might end up being Dhruv. I wish Halibut face (as we call him not paedo doc) would stop blubbing its annoying, and thank you for pointing out its Chris Martin that bloke looks like because its been driving me mental .  Lets hope tonights is good.


----------



## Biddlybee (Apr 2, 2010)

Aw Stacie fucked that up. She should've stuck to food she knows, just better presentation, rather than copying what she did at that restaurant. I don't care who wins as long as it's not the annoying posh boy


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Apr 2, 2010)

Lol - serving up a "smilie face" presentation to those three miserable buggers.


----------



## purplex (Apr 2, 2010)

I thought the smiley face was great


----------



## Gromit (Apr 2, 2010)

When you've been told you have issues with presentationyou don't prove embwring by doing smilee faces. 

This stage was her one chance to beat the doctor. She missed it. I think the desert more than the main killed her though.


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Apr 2, 2010)

I'm not sure she even _knew_ it looked like a smiley face, it just came out that way via some kind of inevitable cosmic saucing joke. 

That desert was a shocker though. Not sure where cream comes into a g+t, so fair enough for John to go mental about the dairy and fruit again.

The standard seems really low this year, they all seem to be reverting to bistro-standard 'got it out of a cookbook' food. Nothing wrong with that if done well, but there's no sense of 'wow!' or signs of great talent yet.


----------



## ymu (Apr 2, 2010)

I don't think the standard has been low, I think three of them got fucked up by their pro-kitchen training. Nargis panicked and copied some "technique" over into entirely the wrong dish. Stacie copied the restaurant dish presentation without thinking about the ingredients, and then managed to come up with a slightly comical design of her own. And kiddy doc pulled it off yesterday, but went massively over-simple today. Dhruv got schooled in timing, but he needs to remember to remove feathers and not add fistfuls of salt as much as he needs to cook his rice or peas through. Alex was the only one who seemed to seriously benefit from the experience.


----------



## ymu (Apr 2, 2010)

I knew Stacie was leaving as soon as they showed her on the opening credits saying she could see herself holding the trophy. They must set them up to say shit like that so they can swap in the right embarrassing-in-retrospect quote.


----------



## mitochondria (Apr 2, 2010)

Doc is well able but J&G directed him towards simple food. I think he should go more for style.


----------



## ymu (Apr 3, 2010)

mitochondria said:


> Doc is well able but J&G directed him towards simple food. I think he should go more for style.


That's the thing though. The pro-kitchen training bit isn't supposed to be about changing their cooking - it's about working on their weak points. Three of them just didn't get that at all.


----------



## Wookey (Apr 3, 2010)

I think Alex will win, he's the best so far, imovho.

Can't stand the poor editing on this series though, nor the baldy ones slobbering one-spoon trick he does every time. At least he's disagreeing with pudding face this series, because last series all he did was agree and agree and agree, and they've obviously been told 'we need some friction in our cookery competitions', and they've upped the anti, they have.


----------



## clicker (Apr 3, 2010)

I honestly dont think the doctor thought he was ever in serious danger of going.....I wonder if, as a probably successful doc he has got what he wants in life by sheer hard work and perhaps a modicum of privilege ( am thinking the seven years training couldnt have come cheap)....and has never really failed at anything. He was damn close tonight, closer than he knew I reckon....I can not forgive him for ousting the tailor!


----------



## ymu (Apr 3, 2010)

clicker said:


> I honestly dont think the doctor thought he was ever in serious danger of going.....I wonder if, as a probably successful doc he has got what he wants in life by sheer hard work and perhaps a modicum of privilege ( *am thinking the seven years training couldnt have come cheap*)....and has never really failed at anything. He was damn close tonight, closer than he knew I reckon....I can not forgive him for ousting the tailor!


He trained when we still had a nearly free higher education system - full grants that almost covered living costs, student loans that were offered on very favourable terms and, no fees.

Plus junior doctors start on £33k after the first 5 years of training (sooner if they're fast-tracked), going up to £41k the following year - and that's before they've even qualified. 

It's one profession you do not need to be rich to pursue - the banks will be falling over themselves to give you cash.

Posh cunt though, in't he?


----------



## clicker (Apr 3, 2010)

ymu said:


> He trained when we still had a nearly free higher education system - full grants that almost covered living costs, student loans that were offered on very favourable terms and, no fees.
> 
> Plus junior doctors start on £33k after the first 5 years of training (sooner if they're fast-tracked), going up to £41k the following year - and that's before they've even qualified.
> 
> ...



He just had this self confidence that I kind of admired and loathed in equal measures...he genuinely didnt seem worried...he was so close to having his easy way out arse ousted...yet he had an air of I'm here for the long haul...I just wondered if it was a trait borne from success in his chosen field...I was surprised he copped out with his meat and two veg effort....bad move yet he still surfaced to fight another course...he amazed me in the earlier rounds....I would have preferred the beehive to stay tho as I liked her big friendly giant sponge cake!


----------



## Descartes (Apr 3, 2010)

The three for the final, but....  how can the dynamic duo taste all that food without clearing their palate, no bread, no glass of wine, no drink of water.. the carry over of flavours and tastes... undermines any credible comments from the pair of them.

Who will present what and will there be any shocks.......................    Dhruv has got to be the favourite...  

They are going home, their journey is over..... yer.

This will change their lives.........Ok, but, what did happen to the other winners in the series.??


----------



## Gromit (Apr 3, 2010)

I got a feeling that that do rinse between course but that showing it doesn't exactly make for good telly so it gets cut.

Plus I think the Critics scenes were filmed over a course of days. The impression i got.


----------



## belboid (Apr 3, 2010)

Wookey said:


> Can't stand the poor editing on this series though, nor the baldy ones slobbering one-spoon trick he does every time. At least he's disagreeing with pudding face this series, because last series all he did was agree and agree and agree, and they've obviously been told 'we need some friction in our cookery competitions', and they've upped the anti, they have.



according to Holy Moly they really don't get on and are usually not even filmed together.

dhruv for the win, i just can't imagine wanting to go to either of the others' restaurants based on what they 've done so far.


----------



## Murdoch (Apr 4, 2010)

Dhruv has a good chance if he can improve his confidence.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

Final 3!

I originally had my money on dad of one Dhruv, but after last weeks performances I think children's doctor Tim has the edge at the moment.


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 5, 2010)

watching it now, cooking in 100 degrees without any shade!


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

Pah, my kitchen's hotter than that!


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Apr 5, 2010)

_what's the indian for service?_  he's supposed to be a fecking doctor....


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 5, 2010)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> _what's the indian for service?_  he's supposed to be a fecking doctor....



I thought that straight away. Who eats breakfast in 100 degrees


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

Butter chicken - I did that on Friday night - I even impressed myself. Manditory punjabi mc playing - twas only a matter of time I suppose.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 5, 2010)

Good use of licence payers' money, flying the finalists to India  And by the colour of him, looks like Mr Torode has been checking out the place for some time


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Apr 5, 2010)

why have you both got mother/muthafucking in your tag lines?


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

trashpony said:


> Good use of licence payers' money, flying the finalists to India  And by the colour of him, looks like Mr Torode has been checking out the place for some time



That's a bit of an arbitrary complaint. They probably spend a hell of a lot more on the Doctor Who special effects - I don't watch it but you don't see me moaning. Masterchef in India is fun anyway


----------



## belboid (Apr 5, 2010)

daal requires careful spicing?  my arse


----------



## nightowl (Apr 5, 2010)

What's the deal with doing the cooking outdoors? Just for the novelty/scenery I'm assuming?


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> why have you both got mother/muthafucking in your tag lines?





Can't get that fucker out of my head...


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Apr 5, 2010)

nightowl said:


> What's the deal with doing the cooking outdoors? Just for the novelty/scenery I'm assuming?


COOKING!!! doesn't get TOUGHER than thIS!!!!!


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

belboid said:


> daal requires careful spicing?  my arse



Depends on who ur cookin it for innit? Indian school children are probably more discerning than your average u75 user.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 5, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> That's a bit of an arbitrary complaint. They probably spend a hell of a lot more on the Doctor Who special effects - I don't watch it but you don't see me moaning. Masterchef in India is fun anyway



I don't see the point of it tbh


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

It's a bit elitist, even by masterchef standards. Fuck the Maharaja - send them to a slum.


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 5, 2010)

they have to cook for the maharajah and surprise him.
Give him fish and chips with mushy peas. Bet he's never eaten that


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

ramjamclub said:


> they have to cook for the maharajah and surprise him.
> Give him fish and chips with mushy peas. Bet he's never eaten that



Dhrev's fish and chips looked fucking incredible - I'm sure his highness would be happy with that!


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

Fuck this feudal parasite - I hope Alex's maple jelly gives him food poisoning.


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 5, 2010)

They purposely give them too little time to prepare so as to give the programme some tension. things are hotting up


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

Masterchef drum n bass is truely the wurst music i've evah heard


----------



## trashpony (Apr 5, 2010)

I think Alex is going to win


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 5, 2010)

All the Indians find the food a bit bland, what was the name of that sketch again. Goodness gracious me!!


----------



## belboid (Apr 5, 2010)

trashpony said:


> I think Alex is going to win



why? he did worst today. ha


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 5, 2010)

belboid said:


> why? he did worst today. ha



I think he probably has the most lady appeal tho


----------



## belboid (Apr 5, 2010)

fot those who like Chris Martin.

Which does seem to be quite a few of them, weirdos


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Apr 5, 2010)

fucking bastard coldplay!!!


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 5, 2010)

I think Tim is my favourite to win at the moment. They all are good cooks but in a restaurant? Tomorrow will tell.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 5, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> I think he probably has the most lady appeal tho





belboid said:


> fot those who like Chris Martin.
> 
> Which does seem to be quite a few of them, weirdos



I fucking hate Coldplay and it is the fact that he looks like him that puts me off. But he was calm whereas the other two seemed to be a bit panicky.

ETA I like Druv best but he bursts into tears at the drop of a hat


----------



## clicker (Apr 5, 2010)

That doc is a bit clever when he gets it right tho....I reckon he'll nail it....on the otherhand I am always wrong.


----------



## ymu (Apr 5, 2010)

trashpony said:


> I think Alex is going to win


His palate is weak. No point in pretty food if he can't do flavour. 

Dhruv will have to fuck up to lose I think. Very impressive. Never seen the guests order seconds before.


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 6, 2010)

Dad of one Dhruv is going in deep - but can he pull it off John?


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 6, 2010)

Is that really three cherry tomatoes in a pastry bowl? What the hell?


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 6, 2010)

He was encouraged to go minimal - but maybe he's taking it too far?


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 6, 2010)

dhruv has lost his wedding ring in the food. panic over . they found it


----------



## DRINK? (Apr 6, 2010)

Torode just threatening to pull the child doctor off - quality


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 6, 2010)

DRINK? said:


> Torode just threatening to pull the child doctor off - quality



Dr Tim, walking around clutching his ribs is getting on my wick.


----------



## DRINK? (Apr 6, 2010)

Scarlette said:


> Dr Tim, walking around clutching his ribs is getting on my wick.




"If your not better in 15 mins I'll pull you off"


----------



## Scarlette (Apr 6, 2010)

Popcorn shots with black olive toffee. Oh FFS!


----------



## trashpony (Apr 6, 2010)

Scarlette said:


> Popcorn shots with black olive toffee. Oh FFS!



'with the texture of lard' 

Go Dhruv


----------



## spanglechick (Apr 6, 2010)

Boo - boring arse Dhruv is going to win, isn't he?


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 6, 2010)

Dhruv's killing it again today - might have to switch back to him.

Chris Martin ain't gonna do it - the offal loving freak!


----------



## Jeff Robinson (Apr 6, 2010)

They've all turned into goofy skool boys now!


----------



## softybabe (Apr 6, 2010)

It's defo gonna be Dhruv


----------



## softybabe (Apr 6, 2010)

wot's the point of doing all that with chicken?  oh dear!


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 6, 2010)

I tipped Tim but he seems to be going to pieces. Too emotional for the hard kitchen


----------



## lizzieloo (Apr 6, 2010)

I CAN HARDLY BREATHE!!!


----------



## clicker (Apr 6, 2010)

And would he really give up doctoring for a spot of cooking?


----------



## Gromit (Apr 7, 2010)

It's Dhruv's to lose. I hope he doesn't. 

Just like every year we have someone who is genius at deserts but not Masterly with the other courses. That's Tim.

Alex doesn't do food that entices you to order it off the menu.   

If I had gotten through to the final three every challenge so far would have me saying "your shitting me"
"Royalty!, you cunts"
"Run the fucking resturant?! You bastards!"
"The Dorchester?! You trying to kill me?!"

This probably is the hardest Masterchef ever but what an experience.


----------



## Termite Man (Apr 7, 2010)

What I want to know is if it's all these peoples dream to open their own restaurant why not just go and do it . I'd love to go on masterchef just so I could say that I like cooking and thought it would be a laugh to go on , none of this cooking is my life it's my dream to have my own restaurant crap they all come out with !


----------



## ymu (Apr 7, 2010)

Termite Man said:


> What I want to know is if it's all these peoples dream to open their own restaurant why not just go and do it . I'd love to go on masterchef just so I could say that I like cooking and thought it would be a laugh to go on , none of this cooking is my life it's my dream to have my own restaurant crap they all come out with !


a) much better chance of succeeding with the publicity
b) they're looking for someone who wants to go pro


----------



## ernestolynch (Apr 7, 2010)

Gromit said:


> It's Dhruv's to lose. I hope he doesn't.
> 
> Just like every year we have someone who is genius at deserts but not Masterly with the other courses. That's Tim.
> 
> ...



Definitely is the toughest one yet. The final 3 are there totally on merit. It's why Masterchef endures. Bullshitters have nowhere to hide. Take note, Raymond Blanc.
DHRUV TO WIN!


----------



## Biddlybee (Apr 7, 2010)

Please don't let Alex win, please don't let Alex win.

He did make some quip about going into the final round feeling like he was 8 nil up


----------



## Gromit (Apr 7, 2010)

Termite Man said:


> What I want to know is if it's all these peoples dream to open their own restaurant why not just go and do it . I'd love to go on masterchef just so I could say that I like cooking and thought it would be a laugh to go on , none of this cooking is my life it's my dream to have my own restaurant crap they all come out with !


 
You'd fail the 'Passion test' then and not make it to the final.

To answer your first question:

Option 1.
Give up you job to open your own resturant when you have no formal training, no proffesional support and aren't sure how good you are. Sure you've done a few dinner parties but that ain't the same as opening your own resturant.
Get a business loan. Probably have to secure it against any equity you have and so could lose your house if the business fails. Thats if you have any. The younger competitors won't get a loan at all without professional qualifications or experience.
Start off small in a cheap location, slug your guts out to build a reputation and maybe one day manage to expand into a decent sustainable business.

Option 2.
Win Masterchef. Know your food is good. Get a financial windfall to help you (Cookbook money etc.). Be courted by backers despite not having any quals. Not have to risk any equity. Get proffesional support from some of the contacts you'll have made. Be able to open a large resturant in prime location from the get go. e.g. The 1st winner and Covent Garden.

Option 2 looks a lot more attractive to me.
Not sure I'd risk my life on Option 1 if I had a family depending on me etc. etc.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 7, 2010)

spanglechick said:


> Boo - boring arse Dhruv is going to win, isn't he?



He's not boring, he's lovely 

Tim looks so anxious all the time he makes me nervous


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 7, 2010)

trashpony said:


> He's not boring, he's lovely
> 
> Tim looks so anxious all the time he makes me nervous


I thought he was going to start crying every time he said something


----------



## Gromit (Apr 7, 2010)

trashpony said:


> He's not boring, he's lovely
> 
> Tim looks so anxious all the time he makes me nervous


 
He's not boring, he just controls his emotions well and his food is goood. 

You could tell he so wanted to cry after the top chefs challenge. Someone always does.

So I was really disappointed that he managed to keep it together.

Its normally the round where my heart goes out to them the most after everything they've been through.

I'm still chuckling at him telling the Maj, yeah my mum is indian.

So he ain't, just his mum, that didn't go down too well. 

Knowing what indian mothers are like though, she's going to be unbearable telling people about how her son cooked for royalty.


----------



## Biddlybee (Apr 7, 2010)

ramjamclub said:


> I tipped Tim but he seems to be going to pieces. Too emotional for the hard kitchen


I thought Tim last week, but I reckon Dhruv's going to do it.


----------



## ramjamclub (Apr 7, 2010)

Did you notice how the Indians ears pricked up when Tim said he was a Doctor.
Every Indian mothers dream.


----------



## Biddlybee (Apr 7, 2010)

Yes


----------



## Gromit (Apr 7, 2010)

Yeah I grinned at that too.

Do you think he is will to give up doctoring cause he is sick of kids rather than because he loves food so much.

Its sound like a good speciality to go into at first but after a while I'd be sick of treating kids and wishing I'd chosen something else instead.


----------



## belboid (Apr 7, 2010)

Gromit said:


> So he ain't, just his mum, that didn't go down too well.



what you on about, it went down fine.  Rather more than fine in fact, big smiles.

It really is his to blow now, paedo is doing just about koay, but isn't exciting enough, and blandboy is obviously very talented but so up his own arse he doesn't realise hardly anyone is interested in some tosser who likes to show off what wacky shit they eat, 'ooh, I'm so daring, i put a bit of offal onto some overcooked bread.' Fuck off


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## Gromit (Apr 7, 2010)

belboid said:


> what you on about, it went down fine. Rather more than fine in fact, big smiles.


 
Big smiles when he walked in.

Smiles frozen on faces when he said my mum is indian.


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## belboid (Apr 7, 2010)

uhh, no they weren't.  But whatever.


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## ashie259 (Apr 7, 2010)

I'm now looking forward to this being over - I want my evenings back. Besides, I can't take any more of bloody voiceover woman.

Dhruv's the one with the 8-0 lead if you ask me.


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## Gromit (Apr 7, 2010)

belboid said:


> uhh, no they weren't. But whatever.


 
Thats my memory. I may just iPlayer it to see if I recall incorrectly.


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## janeb (Apr 7, 2010)

Here we go


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## Jeff Robinson (Apr 7, 2010)

Chris bloody Martin lives in a country house with his pretty girlfriend Charlotte and his sodding food blog - hope he doesn't win. 

Go Dhruv!


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## ernestolynch (Apr 7, 2010)

Fuck Alex the rich cock


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## trashpony (Apr 7, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Chris bloody Martin lives in a country house with his pretty girlfriend Charlotte and his sodding food blog - hope he doesn't win.
> 
> Go Dhruv!



He is a twat. Dhruv is lovely, I have a bit of a girly crush


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## belboid (Apr 7, 2010)

hardly surprising is it?  'I'm a food writer..' - no you're not twatface, you're a _blogger_, no one pays to read your shite.

Big cheeer here when he undercooked the lamb


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## belboid (Apr 7, 2010)

can't decide who I want to lose more, manyoo or chris martin?


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## mrsfran (Apr 7, 2010)

I wish someone would tell Greg it's not pronounced "tatatan". 

Dhruv ftw.


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## belboid (Apr 7, 2010)

blue cheese ice cream, get ye to fuck loser!!!!


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## clicker (Apr 7, 2010)

I reckon the doc has got it sewn up....mhwah ha ha


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## cesare (Apr 7, 2010)

belboid said:


> blue cheese ice cream, get ye to fuck loser!!!!



I'm not watching it yet (no spoilers!) but I'd lay odds that was the brainchild of the blond chinless wonder.


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## 1927 (Apr 7, 2010)

I think Masterchef has disappeared up its own arsehole. These guys are amateurs ffs and you'd think they were on the verge of their 3rd Michelin star the way they are acting. After watching that programme about the madness of Michelin stars the other week you can see how even these guys are caught up in the whole bollocks of it all.


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## Jeff Robinson (Apr 7, 2010)




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## moomoo (Apr 7, 2010)

trashpony said:


> He is a twat. Dhruv is lovely, I have a bit of a girly crush



Me too.


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## sleaterkinney (Apr 7, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Chris bloody Martin lives in a country house with his pretty girlfriend Charlotte and his sodding food blog - hope he doesn't win.
> 
> Go Dhruv!



They were playing c**dplay at the end too.


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## lizzieloo (Apr 7, 2010)

moomoo said:


> Me too.



And me


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## Hoss (Apr 7, 2010)

Dhruv has teh palate of an angel :-D


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## clicker (Apr 7, 2010)




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## mrsfran (Apr 7, 2010)

Had Dhruv pegged since all the other contestants on twitter have been sucking up to him for weeks. Made it a bit obvious.


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## N_igma (Apr 7, 2010)

Yes best man won!


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## janeb (Apr 7, 2010)

Pretty amazing to see how Dhruv learnt from every task and applied it to his cooking - especially today's episode - his food looked amazing


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## belboid (Apr 7, 2010)

the paedo was unlucky, astounding looking main course, but easily the best man won


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## trashpony (Apr 7, 2010)

Yay Dhruv


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## ernestolynch (Apr 7, 2010)

Er indoors told me that i said he would win after clocking his knifework in round one.


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## sheothebudworths (Apr 7, 2010)

ernestolynch said:


> Er indoors told me that i said he would win after clocking his knifework in round one.



I had him down as a winner from the day one too, but noone was here to witness it  

_Well_ pleased he won  - hated Alex's bashful nodding and the doc's agressive confidence even more.

Oh and his food was the best too (by far, imo), tbf.


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## Gromit (Apr 7, 2010)

Yay Dhruv. And he cried 

He'd controlled his deep emotions like an ice man all the way through but there was no way (or need) that he could hold it in any longer. 

I'd eat at his resturant.


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## sheothebudworths (Apr 8, 2010)

He cried on his second (iirc) test too, tbf  but he didn't ever do that horrible 'thankyou for your criticism' shit, or the endlessly soaring confidence (Doc), or _the gormless sadsack face_ (Alex  ), so we can forgive him that I reckon. 

His food _was_ the best, defo (and has been all the way through, imo).


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## ymu (Apr 8, 2010)

sheothebudworths said:


> He cried on his second (iirc) test too, tbf  but he didn't ever do that horrible 'thankyou for your criticism' shit, or the endlessly soaring confidence (Doc), or _the gormless sadsack face_ (Alex  ), so we can forgive him that I reckon.


He hardly ever got any criticism. Flavours, presentation, creativity were always spot on.


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## ashie259 (Apr 8, 2010)

1927 said:


> I think Masterchef has disappeared up its own arsehole. These guys are amateurs ffs and you'd think they were on the verge of their 3rd Michelin star the way they are acting. After watching that programme about the madness of Michelin stars the other week you can see how even these guys are caught up in the whole bollocks of it all.



My feelings exactly. The whole 'straight to 3 Michelin stars despite never having had a job in catering' thing is just another sign of these times. Of course these guys were talented, but you're right - the way they carried on was ridiculous. And that food - especially the stuff in Zwolle with the flowers - was utter, utter wank. The reaction of any right-thinking person would have been, 'What the fuck is that?' 

Give me Stacie's food any day of the week.


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## ashie259 (Apr 8, 2010)

Jeff Robinson said:


> Chris bloody Martin lives in a country house with his pretty girlfriend Charlotte and his sodding food blog - hope he doesn't win.


Yeah, I could really see why he wanted to turn his life around  They were clearly the result of some ghastly attempt to clone Chris and Gwyneth


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## Biddlybee (Apr 8, 2010)

Hurray  Dhruv's food was the best out the lot, and despite a few tears he was the least annoying of the lot.



sheothebudworths said:


> _Well_ pleased he won  - *hated Alex's bashful nodding* and the doc's agressive confidence even more.


bashful? came across as cocky "I think I'm so great and am going to win" nodding to me. Like belboid said... food _writer_  he has a blog!


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## ramjamclub (Apr 8, 2010)

ashie259 said:


> My feelings exactly. The whole 'straight to 3 Michelin stars despite never having had a job in catering' thing is just another sign of these times. Of course these guys were talented, but you're right - the way they carried on was ridiculous. And that food - especially the stuff in Zwolle with the flowers - was utter, utter wank. The reaction of any right-thinking person would have been, 'What the fuck is that?'
> 
> Give me Stacie's food any day of the week.



A few years ago I was in Zwolle and checked out this restaurant. Saw the prices and did an about turn.


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## Santino (Apr 8, 2010)

I had Dhruv pegged as the winner some years ago before Masterchef return to our screens.


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## shakespearegirl (Apr 8, 2010)

Did anyone catch the name of the restaurant in Italy that was visited last night?


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## Gromit (Apr 8, 2010)

Nope. You could check via iPlayer. 

Was it just me or did the Dutch place look shit?
I'd be like yeah?! Where's the rest of my food?! That's it? Can I have a side of chips as well then please?


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## strung out (Apr 8, 2010)

shakespearegirl said:


> Did anyone catch the name of the restaurant in Italy that was visited last night?



le calandre


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## shakespearegirl (Apr 8, 2010)

Thanks Strung Out


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## hektik (Apr 8, 2010)

1927 said:


> I think Masterchef has disappeared up its own arsehole. These guys are amateurs ffs and you'd think they were on the verge of their 3rd Michelin star the way they are acting. After watching that programme about the madness of Michelin stars the other week you can see how even these guys are caught up in the whole bollocks of it all.



what programme was this? Have i missed it?


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## Gromit (Apr 8, 2010)

hektik said:


> what programme was this? Have i missed it?


 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00rfgl2

And yes you have. You missed my thread on it too.


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## clicker (Apr 8, 2010)

Yes the food in the Dutch restaurant would have made a good sun dial......but served up as food .....it was pretentious, floral twaddle.


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## DRINK? (Apr 8, 2010)

You could make a frankenstein stephen merchant from the two runners up...


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## 1927 (Apr 8, 2010)

hektik said:


> what programme was this? Have i missed it?


I thought you were having a pop when I first read that. Methought you were impying that Masterchef had not become a load of pretentious bollox and that I had been watching a programme which was not the one you had been watching!


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## Jeff Robinson (Apr 8, 2010)

DRINK? said:


> You could make a frankenstein stephen merchant from the two runners up...



Ha! That's true....


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## Gromit (Apr 8, 2010)

1927 said:


> I thought you were having a pop when I first read that. Methought you were impying that Masterchef had not become a load of pretentious bollox and that I had been watching a programme which was not the one you had been watching!


 
I'll have a pop. 

Its a TV competition. Of course they are going to hype everything. The producers will make sure of that.

No show sells itself this way:

"And tonight four talentless people will compete to win our rubbish prize which none of contestants really give a shit about, so don’t bother picking and rooting for your favourite as no one gives a shit, not even them and us”.

Even though there are plenty of daytime TV shows like that. The all make out they are exciting and brilliant and important.


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## ramjamclub (Apr 8, 2010)

*my interest in cooking*

my interest in cooking has certainly increased since following the Master chef series. I can't cook much myself but my wife has improved her cooking immensely.


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## Gromit (Apr 8, 2010)

ramjamclub said:


> my interest in cooking has certainly increased since following the Master chef series. I can't cook much myself but my wife has improved her cooking immensely.


 
Is that because you've been telling her that the dish need something to hold it together.

I could see where you were going with that but the pear was just a step too far for me.

Etc.


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## ashie259 (Apr 8, 2010)

ramjamclub said:


> my interest in cooking has certainly increased since following the Master chef series. I can't cook much myself but my wife has improved her cooking immensely.


Funny, the very opposite struck me as I reflected on all the time I've wasted on this show: I hadn't learned a thing about cooking. It's all about the end result - along the way you see a bit of frantic whisking and running around, but precious little actual cooking.


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## clicker (Apr 8, 2010)

In the boring moments I wonder where John Torrode got that accent.

I agree it is more a 'how it can turn out' programme, as opposed to a 'this is how we did it' programme....but I quite like that. I can watch Jamie Oliver spit all over his beaten egg any day of the week.


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## ramjamclub (Apr 8, 2010)

clicker said:


> In the boring moments I wonder where John Torrode got that accent.
> 
> I agree it is more a 'how it can turn out' programme, as opposed to a 'this is how we did it' programme....but I quite like that. I can watch Jamie Oliver spit all over his beaten egg any day of the week.



I could never watch Jamie Oliver for more than 5 minutes. The camera work made me dizzy and I had to lie down.


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## Dan U (Apr 8, 2010)

clicker said:


> In the boring moments I wonder where John Torrode got that accent.
> 
> I agree it is more a 'how it can turn out' programme, as opposed to a 'this is how we did it' programme....but I quite like that. I can watch Jamie Oliver spit all over his beaten egg any day of the week.



he is an Aussie, lived over here for years


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## softybabe (Apr 8, 2010)

Yay!!!! Dhruv!!!  I knew it!!!! 
*just watched it on Sky+*


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## Paulie Tandoori (Apr 8, 2010)

clicker said:


> In the boring moments I wonder where John Torrode got that accent.
> 
> I agree it is more a 'how it can turn out' programme, as opposed to a 'this is how we did it' programme....but I quite like that. I can watch Jamie Oliver spit all over his beaten egg any day of the week.


house music, food porn, lolz over greg and john. what more could one want eh?


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## Orangesanlemons (Apr 8, 2010)

ashie259 said:


> Funny, the very opposite struck me as I reflected on all the time I've wasted on this show: I hadn't learned a thing about cooking. It's all about the end result - along the way you see a bit of frantic whisking and running around, but precious little actual cooking.



Always the way innit. There's such a gap in the market for a fun, practical and inspiring food science show in the uk, kind of a cross between the old "Get Stuffed!" shows and the US "Good Eats" series.
Heston tried it, but he can't keep from diving in too deep, and most of the others are just lists of ingredients or in thrall to the curse of Michelin.

I really liked Dhruv's canapes in the last show, but not much else has really stood out imo.


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## Descartes (Apr 8, 2010)

I think I did tip druv to win some time ago LOL..... the man that everyone aspires to.. in the professional trade... August Escoffier...... read and weep the man was The Master.....

The format of cooking outside has encompassed Army, Horse shows... you talk of the pressures but some of the first series with the cogitating barstard.. the recipes were brilliant...stylised and presented with calm and confident air... It;s now hyped for TV and followers ..but Hestons on shortly.... 

The need to make it look and feel pressurised is an essetnail part, how long each episode takes and how many days are actually involved would give a completely different aspect 

Hut hey, It's TV


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## cesare (Apr 9, 2010)

Don't be such miserable gits, it's good telly! (I like seeing how they get on in the proper restaurant kitchen environment ... that bit sorts out the ones that say they want their own restaurant). I wanted Stacie to win, but once she was out Dhruv was the best, I'm glad he won.


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## ernestolynch (Apr 9, 2010)

Come to think of it I predicted all 3 finalists as soon as I saw both their knifework and also their stirring.


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## Infidel Castro (Apr 9, 2010)

I watched all the Masterchef shows in arrears this year, so I'm late to this thread.  Can I just add that I'm chuffed to buggery that Dhruv won.  I wanted him to win from his first appearance.  Alex was a limp lettuce, Tim more so.  Dad-of-one Dhruv is the bollocks.  In factm he's been my favourite winner of the past few years, possibly matched by that feller who beat that whizzer girl a couple of so years ago.


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## Captain Hurrah (Apr 9, 2010)

Bring back an American with an embarrassing accent, a sixth former, a housewife and driving instructor on a Sunday afternoon.


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## Infidel Castro (Apr 9, 2010)

I've not seen any re-runs of the old shows in ages.  That'd be cracking viewing.


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## vogonity (Apr 9, 2010)

Captain Hurrah said:


> Bring back an American with an embarrassing accent, a sixth former, a housewife and driving instructor on a Sunday afternoon.



I preferred that version...


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## mrsfran (Apr 9, 2010)

Orangesanlemons said:


> Always the way innit. There's such a gap in the market for a fun, practical and inspiring food science show in the uk, kind of a cross between the old "Get Stuffed!" shows and the US "Good Eats" series.
> Heston tried it, but he can't keep from diving in too deep, and most of the others are just lists of ingredients or in thrall to the curse of Michelin.
> 
> I really liked Dhruv's canapes in the last show, but not much else has really stood out imo.


 
Have you been watching Raymonmd Blanc's latest series? I know he's meant to be a cock in real life but I've really enjoyed his latest programme. It's got actual cooking in it, not aimed at morons.


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## Orangesanlemons (Apr 9, 2010)

missfran said:


> Have you been watching Raymonmd Blanc's latest series? I know he's meant to be a cock in real life but I've really enjoyed his latest programme. It's got actual cooking in it, not aimed at morons.



Good point. I've only seen one so far but it was very, very good. "A Taste Of My Life" is well worth a read too.
He's totally inept in many ways, and utterly brilliant in others, but you can feel the love in everything he does, and for me that's the main thing. The show I watched (the egg one) was fun and informative, and laugh-out-loud funny at certain points.
Recommended.


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