# I hate Clapham



## Pip (May 31, 2009)

I really, really do 

I live on Clapham Rd, and while I'm (luckily) about two foot closer to Stockwell than Clapham, it's where I have to do most of my shopping etc.

What a fucking smug shithole. I can't go to the Sainsburys there for all the braying wankers I have to put up with. No lie, last time I was in there one of them went "Oli mate! Basics houmous lol! LEGEND!".

The last straw was the name of a cafe that's recently opened -

_Daniel and I opened a cafe_



WHO ARE THESE CUNTS?


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## the button (May 31, 2009)

I lived in Clapham for a year or so (on Windmill Drive). It is indeed wanker central. Although when I was an ingredient short for Sunday lunch one week, and went to a local restaurant to see if they would sell me some out the kitchen, they gave me a big bag of it for nowt.


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

The pub across the road from me is a piece of shit too. The fucking barman in there is the rudest fucker I've ever met.


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

the button said:


> I lived in Clapham for a year or so (on Windmill Drive). It is indeed wanker central. Although when I was an ingredient short for Sunday lunch one week, and went to a local restaurant to see if they would sell me some out the kitchen, they gave me a big bag of it for nowt.



Well done on getting out. I don't the experience didn't leave you with any emotional scars


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

If Clapham was a person it would be one of those smug Big Brother contestants everyone hates but no one remembers.


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## isitme (May 31, 2009)

that's how i percieve all of london

places like that next to run down shitholes full of feral kids who'll stab you for looking at them funny


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

isitme said:


> that's how i percieve all of london
> 
> places like that next to run down shitholes full of feral kids who'll stab you for looking at them funny



That's not quite how I'd put it tbh.


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## isitme (May 31, 2009)

oh and racist cabbies


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## ivebeenhigh (May 31, 2009)

my ex lives in clapham.

one of the only good things i can take from breaking up with her is that i never have to go to clapham ever again.


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## isitme (May 31, 2009)

and pete docherty


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

ivebeenhigh said:


> my ex lives in clapham.
> 
> one of the only good things i can take from breaking up with her is that i never have to go to clapham ever again.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

I couldnt imagine living there.   its like the every uni rugby and hockey teams move there and cunt it up for 5-10


useful for a night out though


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

To be honest pboi, I suspect you're one of the lot I spit upon.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

cest impossible!! I dont shop in sainburys! nor did I play sport at uni!


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## fractionMan (May 31, 2009)

you can get basics humous?


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

fractionMan said:


> you can get basics humous?



Yeah, and it's pretty good


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## dodgepot (May 31, 2009)

Pip said:


> What a fucking smug shithole. I can't go to the Sainsburys there for all the braying wankers I have to put up with. No lie, last time I was in there one of them went "Oli mate! Basics houmous lol! LEGEND!".



god, that would make me sick hearing that. i can imagine it being said, and it angers me.


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## Voley (May 31, 2009)

Pip said:


> The last straw was the name of a cafe that's recently opened -
> 
> _Daniel and I opened a cafe_





That's fucking atrocious.


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## RubyToogood (May 31, 2009)

I sometimes boggle a bit at what's in the Basics range. Eg onion marmalade. Am I a braying wanker?


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## cliche guevara (May 31, 2009)

fractionMan said:


> you can get basics humous?



LEGEND!


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

RubyToogood said:


> I sometimes boggle a bit at what's in the Basics range. Eg onion marmalade. Am I a braying wanker?



Only if you lol loudly at what poor people buy nowadays across the shop.


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## Voley (May 31, 2009)

Did he actually say 'lol'?


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

NVP said:


> Did he actually say 'lol'?



No, but his laugh did sound a bit like a snorty nasal 'lol'


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## Voley (May 31, 2009)

"Legend!" is particularly wanky, I agree. "Winner!" is similar.


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## tarannau (May 31, 2009)

I feel your pain Pip. I worked in Battersea for too many years and still bear the scars. Not quite as bad as Fulham mind, a similar kind of overspill for people yearning to be proper sneery sloanes.


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## Nanker Phelge (May 31, 2009)

Pip said:


> To be honest pboi, I suspect you're one of the lot I spit upon.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

you lot would love me. bitter old crones that you are


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## Citizen66 (May 31, 2009)

I imagine the lads in Clapham to want to aspire to be Jamie Oliver.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

they *want* to aspire to be him?

only wanting to aspire?  such low expectations


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

to me, the ilk of Clapham, Fulham and possibly Angel are like our own Guidos

()


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## Citizen66 (May 31, 2009)

I imagine they'd be quite pedantic too.


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## rennie (May 31, 2009)

If you don't like clapham then just don't go there. Problem solved.


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## Mr Smin (May 31, 2009)

At least your description made me laugh. 
I only work in the area and so hardly ever go into the shops.


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

pboi said:


> you lot would love me. bitter old crones that you are



I'm neither bitter nor old ta. I just don't suffer wankers gladly.

Come on now, you can't sashay round making idiot comments and then throw your toys out the pram when people think you're a prick.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

im not throwing any toys. its a forum, not to be taken seriously. you would love me


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

pboi said:


> im not throwing any toys. its a forum, not to be taken seriously. you would love me



Pardon me for failing to find humour in comments like this.



> not all of the posh part, only the first arch. the poshest people ( me) werent affected. serves them right for living next to peasants



Yeah, I'm sure you'd absolutely dazzle me.


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## gaijingirl (May 31, 2009)

To be honest Pboi.. given many of your comments on Brixton, I've often thought you'd be far happier in Clapham.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

Pip said:


> Pardon me for failing to find humour in comments like this.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, I'm sure you'd absolutely dazzle me.



again you missed that thread where I was joshing with the peep who lived at the other end.  We have joked about the gates, the prostitues in the bins, eating road kill and nettles !

go eat some lemons


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## Nanker Phelge (May 31, 2009)

Pip said:


> Pardon me for failing to find humour in comments like this.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, I'm sure you'd absolutely dazzle me.


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

Oh fuck off 

I love that defence, "erm, err, what? Erm, I was joking stupid, can't you tell?"


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## Nanker Phelge (May 31, 2009)

pboi said:


> the peep who lived at the other end



You're at it again!


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

lolwut!

back to your shoebox before I release the hounds


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## Nanker Phelge (May 31, 2009)

pboi said:


> lolwut!
> 
> back to your shoebox before I release the hounds



If you think your dogs are big enough then let 'em out, mate.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

ah are you one of those chavs who breeds bulldogs?

I shall keep my labradoodlewahhahaas locked up and get back to my waitrose dinner


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## El Jefe (May 31, 2009)

If i didn't like the food in The Pepper Tree so much, i would never ever go there


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## the button (May 31, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> If i didn't like the food in The Pepper Tree so much, i would never ever go there



That was the place that gave me a bag of free ingredient when I was stuck for Sunday lunch.


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## Pip (May 31, 2009)

El Jefe said:


> If i didn't like the food in The Pepper Tree so much, i would never ever go there



The Pepper Tree's good, and there's a pub in Clapham Old Town that's alright too. But time if I it wrong and trip over the yummy mummies or jumped up nightlifers and I'm not liable for my actions.

Also, I've seen more overt and venomous racism from the posh, pissed up patrons of late shops and take aways here than I have anywhere in Bermondsey, Catford, Lewisham or the like.


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## Jonti (May 31, 2009)

This shouldn't surprise you. 

Despite the class hatred (unknowingly?) served up by too many broadsheet journalists, it's a simple matter of observation that it is the working class who work and play with, and marry into other ethnic groups.

Not so much the middle classes, not that I see.


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## pboi (May 31, 2009)

very true Jonti. less white flight and all that I guess


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## evilkitty (May 31, 2009)

The total wanker in my office lives in Clapham.  He loves it.  Nuff said.

kitty


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## lizzieloo (May 31, 2009)

pboi said:


> ah are you one of those chavs who breeds bulldogs?



You don't mean bulldogs do you?


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## pinkmonkey (May 31, 2009)

tarannau said:


> I feel your pain Pip. I worked in Battersea for too many years and still bear the scars. Not quite as bad as Fulham mind, a similar kind of overspill for people yearning to be proper sneery sloanes.



I'm old enough to have lived in Clapham when it was all pound shops and old dodderer pubs and I remember Battersea when it was a bit tatty around the edges.


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## FridgeMagnet (May 31, 2009)

I like that Polish restaurant in Clapham, or at least I've liked it when I've been there.


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## quimcunx (May 31, 2009)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I like that Polish restaurant in Clapham, or at least I've liked it when I've been there.



What polish restaurant?   

I want polish restaurant.


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## FridgeMagnet (May 31, 2009)

Cafe Wanda - http://www.london-eating.co.uk/2954.htm


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## the button (May 31, 2009)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Cafe Wanda - http://www.london-eating.co.uk/2954.htm



Great place. The only time I've been there was with Polish Jesuits, which (I suspect) made the industrial portions even more so.


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## 5t3IIa (May 31, 2009)

I was going to come in this thread and give it teh 'O ffs what is _with_ people hating a whole area for no good reason? It's ridiculous' but I must say you make a valid argument 



Pip said:


> I really, really do
> 
> I live on Clapham Rd, and while I'm (luckily) about two foot closer to Stockwell than Clapham, it's where I have to do most of my shopping etc.
> 
> ...


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## electrogirl (May 31, 2009)

'Daniel and I opened a cafe'

That is taking wankness to a new level


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## quimcunx (May 31, 2009)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Cafe Wanda - http://www.london-eating.co.uk/2954.htm



Oh, there.  I've been there.  Had cake or something. 

What's polish about it?


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## FridgeMagnet (May 31, 2009)

Well, the menu.


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## electrogirl (May 31, 2009)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Well, the menu.


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## electrogirl (May 31, 2009)

'I mean, what is so italian about this pizza restaurant _anyway_?'


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## quimcunx (May 31, 2009)

I'll have a look at the proper menu some time then. 

Does it do polish black sausage and borscht and ting? 

Does it by any chance do sweetbreads?


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## FridgeMagnet (May 31, 2009)

It's got borscht certainly. I think I had blinis the last time I was there. The mains, they have all goulash and that sort of thing. There was some starter that was basically bacon fat too.

I _think_ they do sweetbreads but don't quote me.


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## Kanda (Jun 1, 2009)

There's wankers everywhere. I find Angel and Shoreditch areas worst than Clapham tbh.


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## Missez (Jun 1, 2009)

Pip said:


> Pardon me for failing to find humour in comments like this.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, I'm sure you'd absolutely dazzle me.



Speaking as one of the peasants he was referring to, I wasn't offended. 

..of course if he wasn't joking I shall be the first to set fire to his floating duck island.


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## pboi (Jun 1, 2009)

its more of a floating city for ducks and pigeons dont you know


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## bluestreak (Jun 1, 2009)

RubyToogood said:


> I sometimes boggle a bit at what's in the Basics range. Eg onion marmalade. Am I a braying wanker?




Onion marmalade?  A basic?  Blimey.  I must not have been raised right.

But does that mean it's cheaper, cos I like a nice bit of onion marmalade.  Although I eat it out the pot with a spoon as I haven't yet worked out what it's for.


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## bluestreak (Jun 1, 2009)

Kanda said:


> There's wankers everywhere. I find Angel and Shoreditch areas worst than Clapham tbh.




Angel is definitely worse.  I actually feel tossed on just passing through, it's so wanky.


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## bluestreak (Jun 1, 2009)

gaijingirl said:


> To be honest Pboi.. given many of your comments on Brixton, I've often thought you'd be far happier shot in the back of the neck and buried in a shallow grave in Epping Forest.



Hear hear.


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## pboi (Jun 1, 2009)

43000 posts, some kind of record!! I bow to your elife


and yes, Angel is worse. more cuntishness, more foreign money, more students, more douchepowder


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## gaijingirl (Jun 1, 2009)

bluestreak said:


> Hear hear.



 You are a very very naughty bluestreak...


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jun 1, 2009)

When I used to live there despite having that 'media' reputation there wasn't anything poncey in Clapham. It wasn't all that long ago. It had grocers and second hand furniture stores. The sainsburys opened while I lived there and seemed pretty exciting because it had a massive video wall thing on the outside.


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## fjydj (Jun 1, 2009)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> When I used to live there despite having that 'media' reputation there wasn't anything poncey in Clapham. It wasn't all that long ago. It had grocers and second hand furniture stores. The sainsburys opened while I lived there and seemed pretty exciting because it had a massive video wall thing on the outside.




abbeville road and old town and around clapham south were all poncey in the 80's... I lived off Nothcote road in the 1990's and that went from fairly shabby to very poncey over the decade.

by the way where is 'Daniel and I opened a cafe' ? googling it just references this post, I really want to see it


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 1, 2009)

I lived in Clapham (corner of Elms Road and Abbeyville Road)

Now it's Abbeyville Village


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## Greenfish (Jun 1, 2009)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> When I used to live there despite having that 'media' reputation there wasn't anything poncey in Clapham. It wasn't all that long ago. It had grocers and second hand furniture stores. The sainsburys opened while I lived there and seemed pretty exciting because it had a massive video wall thing on the outside.




nothing poncey about clapham?  were you pissed the whole time you were there?  it is one of the ponciest places on _earth_.


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## cybertect (Jun 1, 2009)

Pip said:


> The Pepper Tree's good, and there's a pub in Clapham Old Town that's alright too.



The Tim Bobbin? It does/did serve tasty lunchtime sandwiches and a decent enough pint.

Mind you, I'm going back 10 or 20 years now.


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## Spark (Jun 2, 2009)

fjydj said:


> abbeville road and old town and around clapham south were all poncey in the 80's... I lived off Nothcote road in the 1990's and that went from fairly shabby to very poncey over the decade.
> 
> by the way where is 'Daniel and I opened a cafe' ? googling it just references this post, I really want to see it



It's on the same side of the high street as sainsbury's but a bit further towards clapham north I think.  It reeks of whimsy.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jun 2, 2009)

Greenfish said:


> nothing poncey about clapham?  were you pissed the whole time you were there?  it is one of the ponciest places on _earth_.



This was 12-15 years ago. Read the post. I'm talking about Clapham high street in the past. No strange bars or cafes (on the high street), in fact barely anything at all.


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## g force (Jun 2, 2009)

Greenfish said:


> nothing poncey about clapham?  were you pissed the whole time you were there?  it is one of the ponciest places on _earth_.



That's simply not true is it....far poncier places in West, North and East London let alone, Madrid, Barcelona, Tokyo, LA, NY etc.


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## jpm (Jun 2, 2009)

Spark said:


> It's on the same side of the high street as sainsbury's but a bit further towards clapham north I think.  It reeks of whimsy.



Is that Breads Etcetera? 

Clapham High Street was quite shabby about 15 years ago. I remember the excitement when Budgens opened (now the Revolution Bar).


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## FridgeMagnet (Jun 2, 2009)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> This was 12-15 years ago. Read the post. I'm talking about Clapham high street in the past. No strange bars or cafes (on the high street), in fact barely anything at all.



Yeah, it was a pretty ordinary part of South London. I only ever remember going there for the fireworks when I was growing up.


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## London_Calling (Jun 2, 2009)

jpm said:


> Is that Breads Etcetera?
> 
> Clapham High Street was quite shabby about 15 years ago. I remember the excitement when Budgens opened (now the Revolution Bar).


I was thinking that.

I remember when Sarah Ferguson was found to be living there when she first 'dated' Prince Andrew, wasn't quite where a properly brought up girl should be living.

Not long after Lindley moved into that converted school just down from the police station.


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## tarannau (Jun 2, 2009)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Yeah, it was a pretty ordinary part of South London. I only ever remember going there for the fireworks when I was growing up.



Yep. When my folks moved out of Brixton they didn't dream of moving to Clapham, turning down a chance to buy a place by the common because it was a bit run down and a bad area apparently. And with the same money they bought a semi detached in blinking Mitcham. As property investment decisions go it was a corker.

Clapham's not all bad. It's arguably got more old fashioned shops and original traders surviving than Brixton. It just rode the gentrification wave a fair bit faster and noisier than elsewhere.


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## kabbes (Jun 2, 2009)

I agree with this thread.  Clapham is poncy and awful.  But with added dreadful unauthenticiy.  Residents are nothing like the rural set that they so desperately try to be, nor are they the edgy urbanites that they want to pretend to.  It's dreadful.

Saying that, some of my best friends live in Clapham.

Then again, I'm with isitme generally on the whole London thing.


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## quimcunx (Jun 2, 2009)

I used to spend more time in Clapham than Brixton about 10 years ago when I was living on Acre Lane. The Common was more convenient for me and there were more nice places to eat than in Brixton.  I found it fine then.   The whole ''nappy valley'' thing was starting though.

re tags:   there are some lovely people from cheshire.


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## ashie259 (Jun 2, 2009)

I've lived dangerously close to what might be called 'Clapham borders' for a long time and what annoys me is that everyone there is either Australian or seems to wants to be. 

I agree about the Pepper Tree, though - and it's a lot better since the smoking ban came in.

And 'Daniel and I opened a café' - everything about that is annoying, even the choice of verb conjugation. I might swing by on my way home tonight and have a look.


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## keithy (Jun 2, 2009)

the sound of this place makes me glad I live in Wood Green


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## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

Would you say the junction is worse than the common or vice versa cos i like the junction the shops arent too bad and they still have a claires accessories which pleases me. And now a waitrose so i can get my nose studs and a wicked yummy cake all in 5 minute walk.


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## Pip (Jun 2, 2009)

onenameshelley said:


> Would you say the junction is worse than the common or vice versa cos i like the junction the shops arent too bad and they still have a claires accessories which pleases me. And now a waitrose so i can get my nose studs and a wicked yummy cake all in 5 minute walk.



I think the junction is less worse. There's a weird little blip of normality near Asda and the department store, after the ponciness of Lavendar Hill and before the ponciness of the hill near the station.

It's got a TKMaxx too, don't forget that bit.


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## quimcunx (Jun 2, 2009)

onenameshelley said:


> Would you say the junction is worse than the common or vice versa cos i like the junction the shops arent too bad and they still have a claires accessories which pleases me. And now a *waitrose *so i can get my nose studs and a wicked yummy cake all in 5 minute walk.




You are the Clapham Common pretentious wanker!   Waitrose, Waitrose FFS! 


I've never been in a waitrose.  I am hardcore working class.


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## HobgoblinMan (Jun 2, 2009)

onenameshelley said:


> Would you say the junction is worse than the common or vice versa cos i like the junction the shops arent too bad and they still have a claires accessories which pleases me. And now a waitrose so i can get my nose studs and a wicked yummy cake all in 5 minute walk.



Junction over Common anyday. It's grittier and the gateway to the amazing Battersea.


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## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> You are the Clapham Common pretentious wanker!   Waitrose, Waitrose FFS!
> 
> 
> I've never been in a waitrose.  I am hardcore working class.



Actually i am teh pretentious Herne Hill wanker actually  

I get discount cos the other half works there  and they have the best cinnamon rolls in the world, i am getting one tonight when i go to oxford street...mmm buns. 

I think most of junction is alright there are a couple of good cheap householdy shops, although i nearly choked when i saw the Jamie Oliver shop thing, i dont really know what Jamie would sell?


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## tarannau (Jun 2, 2009)

Pip said:


> I think the junction is less worse. There's a weird little blip of normality near Asda and the department store, after the ponciness of Lavendar Hill and before the ponciness of the hill near the station.
> 
> It's got a TKMaxx too, don't forget that bit.



The Junction's way better. Outside of Northcote Road and some of Battersea Rise it's actually pretty normally grotty. Behind the station's hardly posh - the usual sprawl of estate, Wetherspoons, Greggs and Cheque cashing emporiums that characterise places with less poncey reputations. 

Battersea's another one in danger of becoming the new Fulham in my book.


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## Pie 1 (Jun 2, 2009)

If Clapham was an album it'd be Lemonjelly.


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## ericjarvis (Jun 2, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Battersea's another one in danger of becoming the new Fulham in my book.



Parts of it have been working on it since the seventies. Hence South Chelsea as an alternative designation.


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## tarannau (Jun 2, 2009)

I know, but bits of Battersea remain resolutely _unsloanified._ Every time I read about the latest regeneration scheme for the area a little shudder comes over me, a bleak future vision of chino-wearing clones wearing pastel knitwear, Eastern European operes in tow.


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## Belushi (Jun 2, 2009)

ericjarvis said:


> Hence South Chelsea as an alternative designation.



Dont you just love estate agents?

I upset a girl recently who kept insisting she lived in 'Royal Arsenal', she was quitte miffed when I pointed out that area is, and always has been known as 'Woolwich'.


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## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

Belushi said:


> Dont you just love estate agents?
> 
> I upset a girl recently who kept insisting she lived in 'Royal Arsenal', she was quitte miffed when I pointed out that area is, and always has been known as 'Woolwich'.



 fucking hell what a dick, that would be the same woolwich that i went too most saturday's cos the market was so good.


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## Wolveryeti (Jun 2, 2009)

Pie 1 said:


> If Clapham was a band it'd be Lemonjelly.



I imagine it as Keane.


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## quimcunx (Jun 2, 2009)

Belushi said:


> Dont you just love estate agents?
> 
> I upset a girl recently who kept insisting she lived in 'Royal Arsenal', she was quitte miffed when I pointed out that area is, and always has been known as 'Woolwich'.



''Abbeville Village'' as Abbeville Road has become, it seems.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jun 2, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> You are the Clapham Common pretentious wanker!   Waitrose, Waitrose FFS!
> 
> 
> I've never been in a waitrose.  I am hardcore working class.



I've just come back from shopping at waitrose in Croydon so they can't be that far up their arse. Except of course they are. Quails FFS.


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## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> I've just come back from shopping at waitrose in Croydon so they can't be that far up their arse. Except of course they are. Quails FFS.



To be fair Asda sold quails and quails eggs, back in the 90's and they are hardly up their own arse..mot sure why u would want to have a quail though?


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## tarannau (Jun 2, 2009)

Waitrose is fine, it's the people who shop in them who can be deluded twats. It's just another supermarket innit, albeit one that admittedly sells some better  fruit and meat than most.

That said, a lot of the stuff on their shelves is crap and poorly sourced - no other supermarket came last as often in a recent OFM food tasting showdown for example - and other stuff is ludicrously priced. Why anyone would buy an alcohol miniature sized bottle of Fish Sauce for a squid, overpriced peanuts and Wall Sausages for a whopping premium is beyond me.

As part of a wider shopping experience Waitrose is fine and dandy, but anyone who boasts about doing their full shop there as a matter of pride needs a good slap, or some fist-tasting reality.


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## lizardqueen (Jun 2, 2009)

Wolveryeti said:


> I imagine it as Keane.



Or a hed kandi compilation...


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## HobgoblinMan (Jun 2, 2009)

lizardqueen said:


> Or a hed kandi compilation...



Haha, too true!!!


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## nick h. (Jun 2, 2009)

But I love Hed Kandi!   And hate Clapham.


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## Ms T (Jun 2, 2009)

Pip said:


> I think the junction is less worse. There's a weird little blip of normality near Asda and the department store, after the ponciness of Lavendar Hill and before the ponciness of the hill near the station.
> 
> It's got a TKMaxx too, don't forget that bit.



Have you never been to Northcote Road?  Way worse than Clapham for wankers.


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## jayeola (Jun 2, 2009)

In the nineties, (or thereabouts), I was in the SW4 Sains and some chap was moving approx 20k from one bank account to another. Looking around making sure that no one heard him. Zzzzzz..... He was paying for his goods ffs.

I still put SW4 on all forms that require an address, even though I don't live there any more.


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## 5t3IIa (Jun 2, 2009)

bluestreak said:


> Onion marmalade?  A basic?  Blimey.  I must not have been raised right.
> 
> But does that mean it's cheaper, cos I like a nice bit of onion marmalade.  Although I eat it out the pot with a spoon as I haven't yet worked out what it's for.



It's great. I have some in my fridge right this second though it may have a layer of green on it now 

What I do, right, is get two slices of nice bread and butter both sides, then I smear mayo on one side and ONION MARMALADE on the other. Then I stick lettuce to the mayo-ey side and cheese to the marmalade-y side then I squish it together and nom it.


----------



## ashie259 (Jun 2, 2009)

Wolveryeti said:


> I imagine it as Keane.


Razorlight - shit but with a fucking huge ego.


----------



## Brainaddict (Jun 2, 2009)

Clapham was shat out by satan after eating a plate of dodgy seafood.

Y'know that pub in the middle of Acre Lane with the amazing garden? Hope and Anchor I think? I went there recently for the first time since the refurb and it now attracts the Clapham set en masse. My god. Such a collection of preening, strutting, hollow shells masquerading as human beings I have rarely seen. I left and swore never to return. Tis a shame - the garden is still cool, despite the faux Thai beach huts they've put up there 

I know this will all come across to some people as some form of snobbery (reverse or otherwise) but fuck you too. I'd rather die in New Cross than live in Clapham.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2009)

Brainaddict said:


> I'd rather die in New Cross than live in Clapham.



I have some T-shirt transfer paper at home...


----------



## Brainaddict (Jun 2, 2009)

Crispy said:


> I have some T-shirt transfer paper at home...


I couldn't wear it round New Cross though. It would be seen as incitement with suicidal tendencies...

Would be great to wear it when I'm forced to go to Clapham though


----------



## dodgepot (Jun 2, 2009)

my brother used to live in a bedsit on clapham high street. he used to listen to lemonjelly and owns a few hed kandi compilations


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

Brainaddict said:


> Clapham was shat out by satan after eating a plate of dodgy seafood.
> 
> Y'know that pub in the middle of Acre Lane with the amazing garden? Hope and Anchor I think? I went there recently for the first time since the refurb and it now attracts the Clapham set en masse. My god. Such a collection of preening, strutting, hollow shells masquerading as human beings I have rarely seen. I left and swore never to return. Tis a shame - the garden is still cool, despite the faux Thai beach huts they've put up there
> 
> I know this will all come across to some people as some form of snobbery (reverse or otherwise) but fuck you too. I'd rather die in New Cross than live in Clapham.



Yeah i saw what had happened to it the other day was gutted, it did have a great garden and they did nice chips as well. Its funny i am always aware of how skinny and shiny the girls in Clapham are, clearly i am just jealous at being chubby and not shiny, but its a bit like being beemed to another world sometimes.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2009)

It's ok though, they're all mental wrecks on the inside, desperate to look right and drink the right bottled beer and own the right sofa. Even though they want to cry themselves to sleep, they've forgotten how to feel and their eyes just dry up like their shrivelled souls. At least I hope so.


----------



## fogbat (Jun 2, 2009)

Crispy said:


> It's ok though, they're all mental wrecks on the inside, desperate to look right and drink the right bottled beer and own the right sofa. Even though they want to cry themselves to sleep, they've forgotten how to feel and their eyes just dry up like their shrivelled souls. At least I hope so.



They're probably far too busy constructing elaborate stereotypes about strangers...


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2009)

fogbat said:


> They're probably far too busy constructing elaborate stereotypes about strangers...


And then feeling paranoid and guilty that they don't conform to them


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

Crispy said:


> It's ok though, they're all mental wrecks on the inside, desperate to look right and drink the right bottled beer and own the right sofa. Even though they want to cry themselves to sleep, they've forgotten how to feel and their eyes just dry up like their shrivelled souls. At least I hope so.



Thats what i like to think as well. But i am probably wrong and eventually they will go on to marry some bloke who works in financial services and breed, she will do pregnancy yoga and wear topshop clothes in one size above her normal size 6, whilst only eating organic stuff and will ping back into shape the second baby Tallulah Marquis sugar plum is born, she will then start making home made organic ice cream and signing Tallulah up for baby pilates and baby basket making, so she can go to coffee mornings with her yummy mummy friends who complement themselves on buying fairtrade and organic foods and whilst contemplating buying a second home in a tiny Devon village

I am officially a bitter old bitch.


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

fogbat said:


> They're probably far too busy constructing elaborate stereotypes about strangers...


 
that's what's happening here isn't it?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2009)

Kanda said:


> that's what's happening here isn't it?


well, yes?


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

Crispy said:


> well, yes?


 
Pretty darn stupid isn't it.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Pretty darn stupid isn't it.


fairly


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Pretty darn stupid isn't it.



Yup but when has that stopped anyone?


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

Just amazes me how..

a) People can get so wound up about people or places they don't really go anyway.
b) Can then sneer at them in exactly the same way as they accuse such *sneering cunts* of doing

Fucking hypocrits.


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 2, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Pretty darn stupid isn't it.



For there to be an ''us'' there has to be a ''them''. 

Playground psychology.


I did used to love the hope and anchor when the garden was a secret except to the few who ventured past the public toiletesque tiled facade.  

I'm not sure the many refits it's had in the last few years have improved it.   There was an australian girl used to do a mean roast dinner. 

I'd probably still like it now. I liked the kon tiki bar a couple of years back.  Though I couldn't possibly take any of you scruffy herbert brixtonites.


----------



## Missez (Jun 2, 2009)

onenameshelley said:


> Yup but when has that stopped anyone?



I'm didn't have particularly strong feelings about Clapham before I read this thread. Now I just feel sorry for it. 

I know there is a fairly large gay community around Clapham High St and lots of places to go out in the evening...and a good curry house at Clapham Common.

Perhaps if I went further west I would notice the horrors discussed in this thread?


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 2, 2009)

Missez said:


> I'm didn't have particularly strong feelings about Clapham before I read this thread. Now I just feel sorry for it.
> 
> I know there is a fairly large gay community around Clapham High St and lots of places to go out in the evening...and a good curry house at Clapham Common.
> 
> Perhaps if I went further west I would notice the horrors discussed in this thread?



As i said i dont mind the junction its has some good shops. I am aware that i am a bitter old cow when it comes to the shiny skinnies as i call them, thats my issue and i am aware of it.


----------



## Missez (Jun 2, 2009)

onenameshelley said:


> As i said i dont mind the junction its has some good shops. I am aware that i am a bitter old cow when it comes to the shiny skinnies as i call them, thats my issue and i am aware of it.



I totally relate to your shiny skinnies. I used to call them the 'itty bitty' people because they all had pert little haircuts to go with their overall pertness. 

I'm just old an bitter though.


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

Really?

I used to call most of them the muffin top brigade.


----------



## Pip (Jun 2, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Just amazes me how..
> 
> a) People can get so wound up about people or places they don't really go anyway.
> b) Can then sneer at them in exactly the same way as they accuse such *sneering cunts* of doing
> ...



Mr Kanda, I distinctly remember you having a good lol with me and asking when I would become "one of them" when I moved here.


----------



## tarannau (Jun 2, 2009)

What a hypocrit(e) eh!


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

Pip said:


> Mr Kanda, I distinctly remember you having a good lol with me and asking when I would become "one of them" when I moved here.


 
yes, I was taking the piss out of the general U75 attitude. You live in Stockwell anyway don't you??


----------



## Brainaddict (Jun 2, 2009)

Pip said:


> Mr Kanda, I distinctly remember you having a good lol with me and asking when I would become "one of them" when I moved here.



Ha! Pip wins!



And Clapham still sucks diseased monkey balls.


----------



## Brainaddict (Jun 2, 2009)

Kanda said:


> yes, I was taking the piss out of the general U75 attitude.



You can't worm out of it that easily


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

Brainaddict said:


> You can't worm out of it that easily


 
Nothing to worm out of. 

I've never come on here with a sneering attitude like seen in this thread.


----------



## Brainaddict (Jun 2, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Nothing to worm out of.
> 
> I've never come on here with a sneering attitude like seen in this thread.



No, you're right. The people of Clapham are OPPRESSED. And it pains them deeply to know that urbanites sneer at them. Who will end this Great Injustice? 


My stereotyping might be a bit silly, but I think you're being a bit silly too. They're the winners in our society - they don't need you to defend them


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

Brainaddict said:


> No, you're right. The people of Clapham are OPPRESSED. And it pains them deeply to know that urbanites sneer at them. Who will end this Great Injustice?
> 
> 
> My stereotyping might be a bit silly, but I think you're being a bit silly too. *They're the winners in our society* - they don't need you to defend them


 
Are they?????  I don't see them as that at all. Maybe that's your problem 

I'm not defending them either, I'm just saying sneering at people you think are sneery is pretty fucking stupid.


----------



## sim667 (Jun 2, 2009)

Im not keen on clapham......... but there's much worse places in the world.


----------



## Pip (Jun 2, 2009)

To be fair on poor old Kanda, he wasn't sneering (although I don't think we are particularly), but by having a lol about it he has to accept Clapham has a certain image, and it has that image for a reason.


----------



## Kanda (Jun 2, 2009)

Yeah, of course it has an image. Like most places in London. That's what happens in a big city. It's up to you if you sit and sneer at others lives though.


----------



## kyser_soze (Jun 2, 2009)

OOO, what a hugely unpredictable thread this is.


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 3, 2009)

Missez said:


> I totally relate to your shiny skinnies. I used to call them the 'itty bitty' people because they all had pert little haircuts to go with their overall pertness.
> 
> I'm just old an bitter though.



I used to be a shiny skinnie, i used to covet designer handbags and would think nothing of spending a couple hundred on one, buy £150 pairs of jeans and have highlights done every 4 weeks and my nails done and be a golf widow.. it was like a 6 year nightmare, now i am chubby, scruffy and poorer but in general a lot happier and i am going to keep bees


----------



## pboi (Jun 3, 2009)

you grew up then 

so much hating in this thread from people who are bitter.  Let people get on with what they wanna do/be.    if its ridiculous, its ridiculous. its not hurting anyone


----------



## _pH_ (Jun 3, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> What polish restaurant?
> 
> I want polish restaurant.



First the Serbs....and now Poles. what is it with you and eastern europeans quimmy?


----------



## Andy the Don (Jun 3, 2009)

onenameshelley said:


> Thats what i like to think as well. But i am probably wrong and eventually they will go on to marry some bloke who works in financial services and breed, she will do pregnancy yoga and wear topshop clothes in one size above her normal size 6, whilst only eating organic stuff and will ping back into shape the second baby Tallulah Marquis sugar plum is born, she will then start making home made organic ice cream and signing Tallulah up for baby pilates and baby basket making, so she can go to coffee mornings with her yummy mummy friends who complement themselves on buying fairtrade and organic foods and whilst contemplating buying a second home in a tiny Devon village
> 
> I am officially a bitter old bitch.


 
No, that's a resident of East Dulwich aka "Nappy Valley" you are describing..


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 3, 2009)

For those who aren’t aware, an amazing phenomenon occurs around the junction of Acre Lane and Kings Avenue; all of a sudden collar-up, polo shirted, loud, chinless wonder  Pimms  drinking types metamorphose into unemployed Black muggers carrying beatboxes and selling drugs.

It's a proper black and white place.


----------



## tommers (Jun 3, 2009)

onenameshelley said:


> Thats what i like to think as well. But i am probably wrong and eventually they will go on to marry some bloke who works in financial services and breed, she will do pregnancy yoga and wear topshop clothes in one size above her normal size 6, whilst only eating organic stuff and will ping back into shape the second baby Tallulah Marquis sugar plum is born, she will then start making home made organic ice cream and signing Tallulah up for baby pilates and baby basket making, so she can go to coffee mornings with her yummy mummy friends who complement themselves on buying fairtrade and organic foods and whilst contemplating buying a second home in a tiny Devon village
> 
> I am officially a bitter old bitch.



I have a friend who teaches pregnancy yoga.


----------



## hipipol (Jun 3, 2009)

isitme said:


> that's how i percieve all of london
> 
> places like that next to run down shitholes full of feral kids who'll stab you for looking at them funny



OOOOHHHHH!!! you are SOOOOOOOOO bitter!!!


----------



## Crispy (Jun 3, 2009)

London_Calling said:


> For those who aren’t aware, an amazing phenomenon occurs around the junction of Acre Lane and Kings Avenue; all of a sudden collar-up, polo shirted, loud, chinless wonder  Pimms  drinking types metamorphose into unemployed Black muggers carrying beatboxes and selling drugs.
> 
> It's a proper black and white place.


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 3, 2009)

tommers said:


> I have a friend who teaches pregnancy yoga.



Is it more fun than normal yoga?


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

Of course Clapham is awful; there's no need even to have the discussion.

Consider the fact that people regularly engage in faux-military training sessions on the Common (as discussed in a previous thread). And pay for it.

Would you see that kind of thing in Brockwell Park? No. You see people sitting around having a nice time.



Although Bodeans on Clapham High Street is OK if you go on a Tuesday and get half price steaks.


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

pboi said:


> 43000 posts, some kind of record!! I bow to your elife



I find that insinuations of spending too much time on the internet are always particularly stinging when delivered by means of ... someone posting on the internet.


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> Although Bodeans on Clapham High Street is OK if you go on a Tuesday and get half price steaks.



Bodeans rule mmmm pulled pork sandwiches, their ribs are lush as well Best BBQ i have found outside USA. MMMM BBQ


----------



## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> Of course Clapham is awful; there's no need even to have the discussion.
> 
> Consider the fact that people regularly engage in faux-military training sessions on the Common (as discussed in a previous thread). And pay for it.
> 
> Would you see that kind of thing in Brockwell Park? No. You see people sitting around having a nice time.


 
They do that in Hyde Park and other Parks too, it's called British Military Fitness. My ex used to go and guess what.. most of the people doing it on the Common weren't from Clapham, they were from all over. 

How is it different from paying for the gym and doing circuit training? Other than you want to stereotype it. 

It's a park, a big wide open space. People from all over use it.

They probably don't do it in Brockwell Park cos they are aware of the massive snobbery in the area thats highlighted in this thread


----------



## _pH_ (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> They do that in Hyde Park and other Parks too, it's called British Military Fitness. My ex used to go and guess what.. most of the people doing it on the Common weren't from Clapham, they were from all over.
> 
> How is it different from paying for the gym and doing circuit training? Other than you want to stereotype it.
> 
> ...



aargh! I fucking hate those british military fitness people (the ones running it)! One day I'm going to use some obscure park byelaw to tell the gobby fucker to stop shouting and ruining other people's peace and quiet and shut the fuck up and GET OUT MY FUCKING PARK


----------



## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

See.. that's the problem here... it's not *your* fucking park


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

Why is he wearing camouflage?


----------



## _pH_ (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> See.. that's the problem here... it's not *your* fucking park



YES. IT. IS 

you know where I work, right?


----------



## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> Why is he wearing camouflage?


 
why do you give so much of a fuck?

It's people excercising, which is a bad thing now is it?


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> aargh! I fucking hate those british military fitness people (the ones running it)! One day I'm going to use some obscure park byelaw to tell the gobby fucker to stop shouting and ruining other people's peace and quiet and shut the fuck up and GET OUT MY FUCKING PARK



Lay some booby traps for them and watch their military training kick in.


----------



## onenameshelley (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> It's people excercising, which is a bad thing now is it?



It clearly is for that lady on the right she looks like she might be dying.


----------



## _pH_ (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> why do you give so much of a fuck?
> 
> It's people excercising, which is a bad thing now is it?



No it's good that people use public open space for exercise. But tbf, I've seen the british military fitness people acting a bit arrogantly in Greenwich Park, e.g., all running up the path to One Tree Hill and not giving a toss about other people coming the other way. And the shouty blokes get on my nerves


----------



## pboi (Jun 3, 2009)

get a grip ffs. oh noes. they ran up a hill. ponce


----------



## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> you know where I work, right?


 
Nope.


----------



## _pH_ (Jun 3, 2009)

pboi said:


> get a grip ffs. oh noes. they ran up a hill. ponce



nice


----------



## _pH_ (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Nope.



Ah ok. Thought you knew


----------



## rennie (Jun 3, 2009)

sim667 said:


> Im not keen on clapham......... but there's much worse places in the world.



Precisely, and who cares about Clapham? If you don't like it, don't go there. Plenty of other fish in the sea!


----------



## Badgers (Jun 3, 2009)

Aye...

Clapham is not somewhere I go really
Occasionally meet people in the Falcon pub but only for a pint before heading on elsewhere
The common is nice


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> why do you give so much of a fuck?



I don't really.

But they are quite ridiculous and I reserve the right to laugh at them. Snobbishly.


----------



## Pip (Jun 3, 2009)

rennie said:


> Precisely, and who cares about Clapham? If you don't like it, don't go there. Plenty of other fish in the sea!



And if you live there? I can whinge about whatever I like


----------



## Badgers (Jun 3, 2009)

I notice there are a lot of Australians there?


----------



## pboi (Jun 3, 2009)

not as bad as Hammersmith--> Earlsfield way!


----------



## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

Pip said:


> And if you live there? I can whinge about whatever I like


 
You live on the border of Clapham and Stockwell don't you?

Not like you're slam bam in the middle of Clapham.


----------



## g force (Jun 3, 2009)

classic...want to appear edgy say Stockwell, want to seem slightly classier say Clapham!


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

Badgers said:


> I notice there are a lot of Australians there?



I have read your sentence with an Australian inflection at the end and therefore an Australian accent due to your use of the question mark on the end of a statement.

Was this intentional?


----------



## Pip (Jun 3, 2009)

g force said:


> classic...want to appear edgy say Stockwell, want to seem slightly classier say Clapham!



Do you know what the word equidistant means?


----------



## London_Calling (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> Was this intentional?


Difficult to say?


----------



## electric.avenue (Jun 3, 2009)

Interesting thread.

A fine example of inverted snobbery! 

Get similar thing here oop north, such as "Oh, I wouldn't go and live in London - they're all posh down there!", etc, etc, etc.


----------



## Pip (Jun 3, 2009)

electric.avenue said:


> Interesting thread.
> 
> A fine example of inverted snobbery!
> 
> Get similar thing here oop north, such as "Oh, I wouldn't go and live in London - they're all posh down there!", etc, etc, etc.



Spent much time in Clapham?


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> Why is he wearing camouflage?


He can bounce up and down on me any time!


----------



## fogbat (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> Why is he wearing camouflage?



Consider it an opportunity to walk straight into him, then apologise, saying "sorry, didn't see you there..."


e2a: That woman on the right isn't doing proper situps


----------



## rennie (Jun 3, 2009)

fogbat said:


> e2a: That woman on the right isn't doing proper situps



At least she's trying!


----------



## Pieface (Jun 3, 2009)

those are press ups foggie.


----------



## electric.avenue (Jun 3, 2009)

Pip said:


> Spent much time in Clapham?



Used to live on Concanon Road off Acre Lane. So, yes, I did make it up to Clapham from time to time. Worked round there for a bit too.


----------



## fogbat (Jun 3, 2009)

PieEye said:


> those are press ups foggie.



Doh. Obviously I meant pressups.

Still, my post was technically accurate


----------



## Pieface (Jun 3, 2009)

You don't know what you're talking about.  No wonder the people doing exercise on the common confuse you


----------



## Pip (Jun 3, 2009)

electric.avenue said:


> Used to live on Concanon Road off Acre Lane. So, yes, I did make it up to Clapham from time to time. Worked round there for a bit too.



And you still think criticising the Hooray Henry twats it's saturated with is reverse snobbery?!


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 3, 2009)

fogbat said:


> e2a: That woman on the right isn't doing proper situps



What pieeye says. 

They're half press-ups.  for beginners.  And they still improve your bust.


----------



## fogbat (Jun 3, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> What pieeye says.
> 
> They're half press-ups.  for beginners.  And they still improve your bust.



She's better off with wider-apart hands if she wants to work on her chest.

She's mainly exercising her arms / shoulders at the moment.


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

electric.avenue said:


> Interesting thread.
> 
> A fine example of inverted snobbery!
> 
> Get similar thing here oop north, such as "Oh, I wouldn't go and live in London - they're all posh down there!", etc, etc, etc.



It's not inverted snobbery. It's just normal snobbery.

Snobbery isn't necessarily bad. Especially when, as in this case, it is the expression of an actual superiority, rather than an imagined one.


----------



## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

fogbat said:


> She's better off with wider-apart hands if she wants to work on her chest.
> 
> She's mainly exercising her arms / shoulders at the moment.



That's the kind of thing a military fitness instructor would say.


----------



## pboi (Jun 3, 2009)

maybe in your world of basic humous and unwashed hair


----------



## Pieface (Jun 3, 2009)

fogbat said:


> She's better off with wider-apart hands if she wants to work on her chest.
> 
> She's mainly exercising her arms / shoulders at the moment.



I think you're in no position to criticise


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> why do you give so much of a fuck?
> 
> It's people excercising, which is a bad thing now is it?



Maybe he feels a little insecure and inferior.  Perhaps that this is an area in which he fears he would fail to excel were he to try it.  Rather than admit this weakness he mocks them.  Like Aesop's fable of the fox and the sour grapes.


----------



## fogbat (Jun 3, 2009)

PieEye said:


> I think you're in no position to criticise



I'm on the floor, with wide-apart arms, in the press-up position. 

I defy you to find a better position


----------



## Pieface (Jun 3, 2009)

You're lying on your back aren't you?  Admit it.


----------



## fogbat (Jun 3, 2009)

PieEye said:


> You're lying on your back aren't you?  Admit it.





I got confused again


----------



## Pieface (Jun 3, 2009)

http://www.britmilfit.com/


----------



## zenie (Jun 3, 2009)

Aaah good old urban, bit of reverse snobbery 

I like Clapham sometimes, it reminds me of Surrey!


----------



## fogbat (Jun 3, 2009)

PieEye said:


> http://www.britmilfit.com/



They're torturing people!

Look at that big picture on the front page!

It's Abu Ghraib all over again


----------



## Pieface (Jun 3, 2009)

She's being turned into a slingshot - when they let go of the arms you should see her fly!  Basic miltary skill that.


----------



## dodgepot (Jun 3, 2009)

is it true that all estate agents in clapham give away free commuter mugs to everyone who lets from them?


----------



## Pieface (Jun 3, 2009)

what's a commuter mug?


----------



## pboi (Jun 3, 2009)

those metallic thermos thingys with a handle


----------



## dodgepot (Jun 3, 2009)

one of them metal mugs that you have your coffee in on the way to work.


----------



## quimcunx (Jun 3, 2009)

PieEye said:


> http://www.britmilfit.com/



I thought you'd missed an 'F' and wonder what sort of pictures of fit british milf the link would contain and if I should risk clicking on it at work.


----------



## electric.avenue (Jun 3, 2009)

Pip said:


> And you still think criticising the Hooray Henry twats it's saturated with is reverse snobbery?!



I lived there in the eighties. I don't know if it's changed since then.

I'm not sure about judging people in terms of stereotypes. Stereotypes can be a bit like blinkers. I've met one or two people who on first meeting came across as being a bit Hooray-Henry-ish, but when I've got to know them, turned out they were quite ok. If I'd just stayed with the stereotype, I probably never would have got to know them.

I've never seen the point in getting overly worked up over differences in accent, mannerisms, tastes, etc.


----------



## electric.avenue (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> It's not inverted snobbery. It's just normal snobbery.
> 
> Snobbery isn't necessarily bad. Especially when, as in this case, it is the expression of an actual superiority, rather than an imagined one.



Whose actual superiority?


----------



## rennie (Jun 3, 2009)

dodgepot said:


> one of them metal mugs that you have your coffee in on the way to work.



I;ve got one and no, it's not from an estate agent, but a bank! *faints from excitment*


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## pboi (Jun 3, 2009)

you know clapham is the number 1 place for students to go to when they move to LDN? popped collars, boaters...its all that bollocks


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## dodgepot (Jun 3, 2009)

ooh that is quite exciting actually, rennie.

i was sat in KFC on clapham hight street once when a man went by on a horse.

that was also very exciting.

and i once saw omar (of "there's nothing like this" fame) eating in belgo's on clapham high street.

and i once saw michelle mcmanus got on the 37 at clapham junction and get off at clapham high street (when it still stopped outside evans, but that's just to give a time scale of when this was, i'm not saying she was going there or anything)


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## rennie (Jun 3, 2009)

Errr, you win?


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## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

electric.avenue said:


> Whose actual superiority?



The actual superiority of Brixtonites over Claphamites.


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## electric.avenue (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> The actual superiority of Brixtonites over Claphamites.


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## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> The actual superiority of Brixtonites over Claphamites.



It's bollocks though.


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## quimcunx (Jun 3, 2009)

dodgepot said:


> and i once saw omar (of "there's nothing like this" fame) eating in belgo's on clapham high street.




Recently?  do you think he'll still be there?


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## fogbat (Jun 3, 2009)

quimcunx said:


> Recently?  do you think he'll still be there?



You realise this isn't the, er, well-proportioned "actor" Omar, don't you?


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## Dan U (Jun 3, 2009)

i go out with an Australian who lives near Clapham Junction (Battersea High Street, by the market end) - should i kill myself in the face for not being real urbanz?

she doesn't like going out to the bars around the common either, way too much braying and hair product


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## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

Of course you should Dan U.

Clearly location is the key in whether you're a cunt or not...


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## London_Calling (Jun 3, 2009)

Dan U said:


> she doesn't like going out to the bars around the common either, way too much braying and hair product


She's Australian, you say ?


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## Dan U (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Of course you should Dan U.
> 
> Clearly location is the key in whether you're a cunt or not...


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## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> It's bollocks though.



No, it's actual.


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## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> No, it's actual.



Don't be such a ponce.


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## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Don't be such a ponce.



I really don't think you are taking this matter seriously enough.


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## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> I really don't think you are taking this matter seriously enough.



I think you're taking the piss.

Thing is.. it's the sort of thing 'real urbanz' would probably say


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## teuchter (Jun 3, 2009)

Kanda said:


> I think you're taking the piss.
> 
> Thing is.. it's the sort of thing 'real urbanz' would probably say



It's basically the sort of thing any level-headed, educated, rational human being would say.


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## Kanda (Jun 3, 2009)

teuchter said:


> It's basically the sort of thing any level-headed, educated, rational human being would say.



That's why I am suprised you're coming out with it


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## T & P (Jun 3, 2009)

Clapham has two things going for it: El Rincon Latino, which IMO is one of the best if not the best Spanish food restaurant in London (certainly at prices we plebs can afford)...









and the fact that there is always superb eye candy at the Sainsbury's- far better than the Tesco Brixton equivalent, I'm sorry to say...


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## pboi (Jun 3, 2009)

brixton has no clunge


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## oryx (Jun 4, 2009)

I lived on the border of Clapham & Battersea for over 20 years and it used to be great. 

I even remember The Sun in Old Town before it was painted dayglo yellow or whatever it is now! And when it was full of lovely greasy caffs and had a covered market (not far from where Belgo is now, IIRC). It was a laid-back, quiet and slightly bohemian place down near the end of the Northern line. 

It's a shame it was overrun by the three-wheeler pram, pregnancy yoga, second house in Devon types. 

I miss what it used to be, but when I think of what it is now I get down on my knees & thank the Lord I moved to SE London. 

Does anyone else remember the mysterious graffitti in the old town, the covered market, or the Belle Vue when it was absolutely terrifying rather than a gastropub?


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## Pip (Jun 4, 2009)

oryx said:


> I lived on the border of Clapham & Battersea for over 20 years and it used to be great.
> 
> I even remember The Sun in Old Town before it was painted dayglo yellow or whatever it is now! And when it was full of lovely greasy caffs and had a covered market (not far from where Belgo is now, IIRC). It was a laid-back, quiet and slightly bohemian place down near the end of the Northern line.
> 
> ...



Very interesting, thank you. Prepare to be questioned mercilessly when I'm a bit less tired.


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## oryx (Jun 4, 2009)

Pip said:


> Very interesting, thank you. Prepare to be questioned mercilessly when I'm a bit less tired.



Any time! Some other people on here remember Clapham in the 80s as well IIRC.

One of my faves was the portrait photographer on Landor Road. Not 'my' bit of Clapham, but I remember coming home that was one night with a couple of friends and spending hours just gazing into the window.

http://www.casbah.ac.uk/cats/archive/136/LADA00001.htm


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## quimcunx (Jun 4, 2009)

I can remember when the White House (or whatever it is now) was The Auld Triangle. 

I think.


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## Greenfish (Jun 4, 2009)

"commuter mugs" irritate me.  i don't know why, but they do.

do they irritate anyone else?


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## ajdown (Jun 4, 2009)

Greenfish said:


> "commuter mugs" irritate me.  i don't know why, but they do.
> 
> do they irritate anyone else?



Given that I don't drink coffee, and don't like the smell, completely irritated by them.  Totally unnecessary to have them.

Ranks right up there with the "shitty music on tinny mobile phone speaker" brigade.


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## Greenfish (Jun 4, 2009)

maybe I interpet them wrong, but they always seem to be expressing somehow, "look at me - aren't I forward thinking and clever: all you mugs buy your coffee but I am too bright for that and prepare it at home to drink on the bus - ooooooohhhh look at me with my big fat metal mug thing".


or am i just a bitter cunt?


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## pboi (Jun 4, 2009)

but its cheaper than buying it each day.  = win

whos the twat now?


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## Kanda (Jun 4, 2009)

You're bitter.

In fact, it's probably ok to have one in Brixton, having one in Clapham means it's ok to hate it and call people cunts..


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## Greenfish (Jun 4, 2009)

I rarely see them in bricky to be honest.  can't move for them in Clapham though.  surprising when someone _hasn't_ got one.


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## Kanda (Jun 4, 2009)

I see them quite often in Brixton when I'm on the early shift (@Tube around 6:30am).


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## dodgepot (Jun 4, 2009)

of course it's _okay_ to have a commuter mug if you want one. 

but i do find them utterly ridiculous


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## tarannau (Jun 4, 2009)

Is there ever an end to AJ's moaning? If it's not mobile phones,it's the simply terrible smells of fresh oranges or coffee that he can't tolerate on public transport. Even if those stupid commuter mugs are covered and give off a negligible aroma. Anyone would think he was making a mountain out of a molehill.

They're just big silver drinking receptacles, not an inconvenience to anyone or an insult to their way of life. Personally I'm just more concerned that they'll have shit coffee in there (the pointlessness of milkshakey lattes, shudder) and would do better with a quick shot of espresso and a glass of water on the way out.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 4, 2009)

They save you getting mugged (lol) off by a takeaway overprice shit brew


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## tarannau (Jun 4, 2009)

Pretty much any coffee that size will be shit though. And you've got to drink it from an oversized mug with an inconvenient lip that smells of cheese after a few weeks of use.

Tea's more understandable I suppose, but how much does a bleeding cuppa cost from the cafe if you're desperate?


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## Stobart Stopper (Jun 4, 2009)

ajdown said:


> Given that I don't drink coffee, and don't like the smell, completely irritated by them.  Totally unnecessary to have them.
> 
> Ranks right up there with the "shitty music on tinny mobile phone speaker" brigade.



Are you from Cornwall?


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## dodgepot (Jun 4, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Pretty much any coffee that size will be shit though. And you've got to drink it from an oversized mug with an inconvenient lip that smells of cheese after a few weeks of use.
> 
> Tea's more understandable I suppose, but how much does a bleeding cuppa cost from the cafe if you're desperate?



or just have one in the comfort of your own home and relax


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## tarannau (Jun 4, 2009)

It makes me wonder how our ancestors migrated those huge distances without either commuter mugs or 'essential' little bottles of mineral water to be carried everywhere. Won't anyone think of the neanderthals.


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## Kanda (Jun 4, 2009)

Humans didn't think of the neanderthals though. They were wiped out by us weren't they?


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## fogbat (Jun 4, 2009)

tarannau said:


> It makes me wonder how our ancestors migrated those huge distances without either commuter mugs or 'essential' little bottles of mineral water to be carried everywhere. Won't anyone think of the neanderthals.



I know what you mean.

Our ancestors didn't have antibiotics. Why do we feel the need?


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## dodgepot (Jun 4, 2009)

you're being blates ridic now foggy.


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## tarannau (Jun 4, 2009)

Tim Westwood just called me and said you post like an affected twat Dodgepot,.


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## dodgepot (Jun 4, 2009)

tim westwood just called me blud


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## teuchter (Jun 4, 2009)

Kanda said:


> Humans didn't think of the neanderthals though. They were wiped out by us weren't they?



We bludgeoned them to death with commuter mugs.


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## lizardqueen (Jun 4, 2009)

Greenfish said:


> "commuter mugs" irritate me.  i don't know why, but they do.
> 
> do they irritate anyone else?



They don't irritate me, but I do think they make your coffee taste funny.  A bit like plastic bag flavour.


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## hipipol (Jun 4, 2009)

They are the modern equivalent of this:







Just like Granny had, yeah!!!!!!!


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## miniGMgoit (Jun 5, 2009)

All I really know about Clapham is Ceaders Road????
Its got a big crazy homeless hostel on it. I did a couple of shifts there. Fucking mental the lot of them


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## Mr Retro (Jun 5, 2009)

tarannau said:


> Personally I'm just more concerned that they'll have shit coffee in there (the pointlessness of milkshakey lattes, shudder) and would do better with a quick shot of espresso and a glass of water on the way out.



 

I used to go to Clapham a lot when I lived in Brixton and I liked it. Good pubs and some restaurants/caffs I used to enjoy going in and a cracker of a butchers.

Sure there are a lot of people there that wouldn't be my cup of tea but I found them easy to avoid.


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## London_Calling (Jun 5, 2009)

It's a thermos flask with a friggin handle! Take a step back people. Really, there are worse things to get stressed about in the world.


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## electric.avenue (Jun 5, 2009)

I've even spotted one commuter mug here in Yorkshire! 

See, we aren't just living in mud huts. We know of modern ways.

I think that anyone who hates Clapham really ought to come and live in West Yorkshire. It would be the perfect antidote. You'd be complaining the other way then.


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## ash (Jun 5, 2009)

I am neutral on this but The Times has a 'focus on Clapham' in its property section today that was enough to turn me:
'' The beautiful people go to lost society on Wandsworth rd.  If you turn up on a sunday afternoon in a hat they'll give you a free mojito"     Nuff said !!!!!???


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## Kanda (Jun 5, 2009)

^^ This is bullshit though. Most Claphamites see LS as shit wank cockfest.

They used to do Burlesque nights that were comedy. The chef's a cunt. It's for wannabe student twats tbh.


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## tarannau (Jun 5, 2009)

Since when Kanda been self appointed spokesman for the Clapham majority?


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## Kanda (Jun 5, 2009)

I just find the snobbery stupid. 

Used to live on Ferndale Road, have been to Clapham numerous times, have seen loads of twats but have seen just as many in Brixton.

The only thing that makes Brixton and Clapham different for me is closing time or late at night. In Clapham, you're surrounded by aggro, as you can be in Brixton, but in Brixton, it's more predictable instead of some pissed up rugby twat trying to have a scrap.

Clapham isn't posh imo. Fuck, I look out my window on Brixton hill and see 4 porsches and over 5 mercedes...


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## Pip (Jun 5, 2009)

Kanda said:


> ^^ This is bullshit though. Most Claphamites see LS as shit wank cockfest.
> 
> They used to do Burlesque nights that were comedy. The chef's a cunt. It's for wannabe student twats tbh.



The pub over the road used to be good (and open late too) but I went in the other night and it was full of LS overspill. And teenagers who couldn't hack their whatever too. Some girl *who was definitely younger than me* followed me into the toilets and I asked her what she wanted, then to make polite conversation asked if her and the other 16 year olds had just finished their GCSEs or something. To the first question she replied, "NOTHING I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WANTED SOME WATER" and to the second question "erm for your information I'm 28" 
Ahhhh whippersnappers. Erm, I'm rambling now. Yeah Lost Society is shit. _Nuff well and truly said_, Mr Ash.


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## Kanda (Jun 5, 2009)

28 yr olds looking younger than you.. oh how tewwible.


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## Pip (Jun 6, 2009)

Kanda said:


> 28 yr olds looking younger than you.. oh how tewwible.



But she wasn't 28, she was 16 if she was a day. She was just mental. Was my point.


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## Kanda (Jun 6, 2009)

tbh.. I meet more mentals in Brixton than I have Clappers


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## oryx (Jun 6, 2009)

ash said:


> I am neutral on this but The Times has a 'focus on Clapham' in its property section today that was enough to turn me:
> '' The beautiful people go to lost society on Wandsworth rd.  If you turn up on a sunday afternoon in a hat they'll give you a free mojito"     Nuff said !!!!!???



I remember Lost Society when it was the Tearooms des Artistes. 

Nice building (very nice), decent and cheap food* but I always remember the bar staff as being ultra-tossers. 

*Does anyone remember that late night cookery programme aimed at students called 'Get Stuffed'? Sort of how to do a late-night baked bean and pasta bake & the like? The food at the Tearooms des Artistes was a bit like that, only you paid £5.95 for it instead of scratching about in your food cupboard.


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## ash (Jun 6, 2009)

Just to be pendantic.  Is the Wandsworth rd part of Clapham?? I used to live in North St (SW4) not sure if Wandsworth Rd is SW4 as it is the border between SW4 and SW11/ or SW8.  Now live in ferndale Rd and tend to agree with Kanda -  best of both worlds between Brixton and Clapham.  I go left or right depending on the mood.


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## Kanda (Jun 6, 2009)

I always saw LS as Battersea tbh.


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## Pip (Jun 6, 2009)

ash said:


> Just to be pendantic.  Is the Wandsworth rd part of Clapham?? I used to live in North St (SW4) not sure if Wandsworth Rd is SW4 as it is the border between SW4 and SW11/ or SW8.  Now live in ferndale Rd and tend to agree with Kanda -  best of both worlds between Brixton and Clapham.  I go left or right depending on the mood.



Hmm, maybe not, but what else would you call it? "Lets go to Wandsworth Road" doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as "lets go to Claps". Plus you walk there via Union Road which is Clapham. God it's a minefield.


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## Pip (Jun 6, 2009)

Kanda said:


> I always saw LS as Battersea tbh.



Ahhhh, _Batts_. Yeah I can cope with that.


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## Kanda (Jun 6, 2009)

It's only a minefield if your a pretentious twat


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## ash (Jun 6, 2009)

Are we now talking Brikie


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## Pip (Jun 6, 2009)

:-/ that's my face right now 


:-/


*:-/*


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## oryx (Jun 6, 2009)

I lived just north of Lost Society for years and it was Battersea, really, but people living in London (especially if they're new) are so used to using the tube as a map, they saw it as Clapham as Clapham Common was my nearest tube.


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## Pip (Jun 6, 2009)

ash said:


> Are we now talking Brikie



I've been trying to avoid talking about Brikky to be honest.


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## oryx (Jun 6, 2009)

Pip said:


> The pub over the road used to be good (and open late too)



Is that The Plough? 

Used to be the pub me & the flatmates took our parents to. It was always dead, though respectable. 

Nag's Head over the road (corner of North St/Wandsworth Road) used to be good fun - lock ins and (well back in the day) parties for the locals.  It died on its feet (changing demographic & all that) and became The Artesian Well.


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## Orangesanlemons (Jun 6, 2009)

Pip said:


> The last straw was the name of a cafe that's recently opened -
> 
> _Daniel and I opened a cafe_
> 
> ...



Still laughing at this. What were they thinking?


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## Kanda (Jun 6, 2009)

No offence Pip. But you've made a few posts here about eating around Marylebone...

.. which is soooooo much more full of cunts.


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## ash (Jun 6, 2009)

Pip said:


> I've been trying to avoid talking about Brikky to be honest.



Did my spelling upset you or is it something deeper?


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## Pip (Jun 6, 2009)

Kanda said:


> No offence Pip. But you've made a few posts here about eating around Marylebone...
> 
> .. which is soooooo much more full of cunts.



Yeah, but I don't have to live there. Do you think I should stick to activities befitting my rearing?


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## Pip (Jun 6, 2009)

ash said:


> Did my spelling upset you or is it something deeper?



Yes 

No, I just don't give a shit about Brixton, so why bring it into my moanings?

The rest of you can discuss away though


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## Kanda (Jun 6, 2009)

Pip said:


> Yeah, but I don't have to live there. Do you think I should stick to activities befitting my rearing?



Not at all. I think you should give a fuck a lot less about the people around you though. 

They are insignificant. Everyone is, until you make them significant.


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## sleaterkinney (Jun 6, 2009)

Pip said:


> The last straw was the name of a cafe that's recently opened -
> 
> _Daniel and I opened a cafe_


 

One good thing is at least you'll be able to get good food in these places.


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