# Annoying Adverts 2014



## twentythreedom (Jan 6, 2014)

Yes, FUCK YOU, ELITE SINGLES 

felixthecat I feel your anger


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## May Kasahara (Jan 6, 2014)

Anything Wonga


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## gentlegreen (Jan 6, 2014)

The new one where he's playing virtuoso guitar is particularly offensive.


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## white rabbit (Jan 6, 2014)

The 118 118 snips when they sponsor programmes. For a start they are immensely annoying, but wtf is 118? Directory enquiries or some shit? It all sounds very 20th century.


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 7, 2014)

white rabbit said:


> The 118 118 snips when they sponsor programmes. For a start they are immensely annoying, but wtf is 118? Directory enquiries or some shit? It all sounds very 20th century.



like directory enquiries - but costs a fortune. Cons old people who cant look up phone numbers for free on the internet to spend a £1.59 a call plus £1.99 a minute. outrageous. Don't put that on screen do they or if they do its so small I cant see it.


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## Bungle73 (Jan 7, 2014)

white rabbit said:


> The 118 118 snips when they sponsor programmes. For a start they are immensely annoying, but wtf is 118? Directory enquiries or some shit? It all sounds very 20th century.


Um, where have you been?  They've been around for years, ever since the government deregulated directory enquires


friendofdorothy said:


> like directory enquiries - but costs a fortune. Cons old people who cant look up phone numbers for free on the internet to spend a £1.59 a call plus £1.99 a minute. outrageous. Don't put that on screen do they or if they do its so small I cant see it.


Um, how is a "con"? They provide a service, which they charge for. No "con" about it.  There are plenty of other options.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 7, 2014)

That Coke advert with the kids singing 'You Got The Love' - I fucking hate that. Fuck you, Coca-Cola Inc.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 7, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Um, where have you been?  They've been around for years, ever since the government deregulated directory enquires
> 
> Um, how is a "con"? They provide a service, which they charge for. No "con" about it.  There are plenty of other options.


This thread isn't called 'Annoying Posters 2014'


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## Spymaster (Jan 7, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Um, where have you been?  They've been around for years, ever since the government deregulated directory enquires
> 
> Um, how is a "con"? They provide a service, which they charge for. No "con" about it.  There are plenty of other options.



Because they don't make their charges clear enough. There are laws regarding minimum levels of "warning" advertising, which they skate the edges of, but their model is very unforgiving of occasional users (who may have just seen those turds on tv and associate 118118 with directory enquiries but don't see enough to know the charges). 

It's not an out-and-out con but it's getting very close.


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## skyscraper101 (Jan 7, 2014)

The fucking Aldi one


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## white rabbit (Jan 7, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Um, where have you been?  They've been around for years, ever since the government deregulated directory enquires


I live overseas most of the time, so it's all a novelty to me.


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## frogwoman (Jan 7, 2014)

that oxfam youtube one that comes up going "dont skip!!"

emotional blackmail at it's finest


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## trabuquera (Jan 7, 2014)

Those bizarre new ones for e-cigs which seem to be dreamed up by a marketing team in Shanghai, who think that stupid Westerners will be swayed by vocoderized country music odes to brotherhood into buying shiny new nicotine-delivery systems for all their friends. what is the story behind this bizarre new trend?


oh and 'anything for yow, cupcake' ... for taking the fine proper Brum accent back into the public's hate spot.


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 7, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Um, where have you been?  They've been around for years, ever since the government deregulated directory enquires
> 
> Um, how is a "con"? They provide a service, which they charge for. No "con" about it.  There are plenty of other options.



I know. You know. Ask a 80 year old if they know this. 

Directory enquiries used to be free. When they first deregulated there was a small charge. Most older people can't see the small print on the screen.


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## gentlegreen (Jan 7, 2014)

trabuquera said:


> oh and 'anything for yow, cupcake' ... for taking the fine proper Brum accent back into the public's hate spot.


I was about to mention the "comical" Brummies, and the naff dad in the other holiday ads is hugely annoying, but I particularly hate  the Thompson "ogre"-
I find the concept of "ugly" offensive, but kids are brought up with this sort of stuff I suppose ...


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## frogwoman (Jan 7, 2014)

white rabbit said:


> The 118 118 snips when they sponsor programmes. For a start they are immensely annoying, but wtf is 118? Directory enquiries or some shit? It all sounds very 20th century.


 
fuck i know im not exactly up on the advertisement world but how did you not know this?


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## frogwoman (Jan 7, 2014)

twentythreedom said:


> That Coke advert with the kids singing 'You Got The Love' - I fucking hate that. Fuck you, Coca-Cola Inc.


 
not exactly an advert but stupid fucking "share a coke with bob" that they've got on their bottles, yes i don't want to share a coke i just want to drink one, I'm the customer stop trying to be my mate, fuck off fuck off fuck off


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## Frances Lengel (Jan 7, 2014)

That car one (is it Ford) with that crying-arsed voice wanker "singing" on it. Even though it came out last year. I *hate* it.


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## Corax (Jan 7, 2014)

I tend to watch all my telly on the PC these days, so I'm generally spared the horrors.

However, I was listening to the latest Fighting Talk podcast this morning, and there was reference to an advert featuring Usain Bolt in a dress.


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## Bitter&Twisted (Jan 7, 2014)

I'm particularly vexed by the new Weighwatchers ones.  As if grown women can't maintain their close family relationships unless they can keep their weight down, so they can go clothes shopping with their daughters.   

The Usain Bolt one features him playing several characters, including a saucy old man chatting up several girlfriends over the net at the same time, a woman in a frock doing something possibly disreputable (I can't remember), and a baby (!)  I didn't realise that it was Usain Bolt in it, so thanks for that.


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## Bungle73 (Jan 7, 2014)

friendofdorothy said:


> I know. You know. Ask a 80 year old if they know this.
> 
> Directory enquiries used to be free. When they first deregulated there was a small charge. Most older people can't see the small print on the screen.


"Old" != stupid you know?  Or are you suggesting that "old people" rush out and spend money on everything they see advertised on TV? And there are still free DE. For example Virgin's one is free if you are a customer and use a phone connected to their network.  And then there's one that is free but plays you adverts - not sure if that one is still going.

Of course there is also the old fashioned way: look it up in the phone book


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## Frances Lengel (Jan 7, 2014)

Hive-is-busy-controlling-your-heating-at-home. Another crying arse voiced singing wankstain.

E2a - busy not bust


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## twentythreedom (Jan 7, 2014)

frogwoman said:


> not exactly an advert but stupid fucking "share a coke with bob" that they've got on their bottles, yes i don't want to share a coke i just want to drink one, I'm the customer stop trying to be my mate, fuck off fuck off fuck off


Yeah, spot on. No-one wants to share, it's just a scam to flog bigger bottles. 

Also, they've ruined "You Got The Love" - The Candi Staton original is an all-time rave anthem, and now it's soundtrack to a Coke ad  

The more I think about it, the more it annoys me. Which in itself annoys me further, like annoyance squared, because they've got into my brain and here we are talking about them


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## twentythreedom (Jan 7, 2014)

Frances Lengel said:


> Hive-is-bust-controlling-your-heating-at-home. Another crying arse voiced singing wankstain.


Yes, there's an evil undercurrent to that one. Some NSA / Illuminati / Matrix shit going on.


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 7, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> "Old" != stupid you know?  Or are you suggesting that "old people" rush out and spend money on everything they see advertised on TV? And there are still free DE. For example Virgin's one is free if you are a customer and use a phone connected to their network.  And then there's one that is free but plays you adverts - not sure if that one is still going.
> 
> Of course there is also the old fashioned way: look it up in the phone book



No I do not think old people are stupid. I do think you are patronising. 

The elderly can be trusting / gullible like any one else and yes some of them are vulnerable. Modern telecommunications can be completely baffling to older people, even those without memory problems. I work with old people - they often ask me for telephone numbers and do ask me if I can phone directory enquiries - which because of the cost I'm not permitted to do and I don't have internet access there. A lot of the people I deal with with have sight problems and can not read directories - or small print.

If you live in London your BT phone book only covers an area eg SE or SW - you will find no listings for shops and services very near to you but not in the directory area. They don't cover central London, unless you live there. I called BT to ask if we could have a complete set - they sell them - can't remember cost but it was prohibitive. I have a 2004 central London directory I still use regularly to look up numbers. 

For some reason most of our elderly residents have phone lines with BT. Perhaps if you've been a customer for 50 years its a habit. 
(Calls to 118 500/404 cost 59p per call plus £2.39 per minute, or part thereof, from BT landlines (excluding BT payphones). Mobiles and other networks may vary.) A single call can be an expensive mistake. 

I often suggest they get someone to look it up on the internet for them.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 10, 2014)

Diet Chef  What a fucking rip off. Probably costs about £8000 a week for relabelled Tesco value crap. Fuck off


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## Enviro (Jan 10, 2014)

Have they got rid of the screaming fuckers who sponsor the Simpsons on channel 4? They make my blood boil - I've considered complaining about them...


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## felixthecat (Jan 10, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> The new one where he's playing virtuoso guitar is particularly offensive.


I find that the least offensive of the lot.

I find the quavery 'old people' voices on the others so bloody patronising


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## gentlegreen (Jan 10, 2014)

From the point of view of distraction from the product - a loan with hideously high interest.

These companies' adverts make it sound like they're doing the poor a favour.


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## gentlegreen (Jan 10, 2014)

I swear the voiceover on the "old-fashioned loan" advert sounds like Derek Griffiths off Play School.



EDIT. Wikipedia says it is !


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## DexterTCN (Jan 11, 2014)

The world's full of great things.   Strawberries and cream, gin and tonic.

And now...hotels combined dot com.

Fuck off.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 11, 2014)

Jack Monroe being really fucking annoying for the Sainsbury's filthy dollar


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## gosub (Jan 11, 2014)

Nescafe using Bring me sunshine - we had that at our wedding - stop trying to linking to your trite instant coffee


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## DotCommunist (Jan 11, 2014)

Aunt Bessies products have pulled me from the brink of a roast disaster several times but the fucking ads she has sponsoring 'The Chase' (my favourite quiz show) are using up a lot of that stored goodwill. Two comedy old yorkshire ladies laying the accent on way ott and doing unfunny sketches. Spare me.


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## gentlegreen (Jan 12, 2014)

trabuquera said:


> oh and 'anything for yow, cupcake' ... for taking the fine proper Brum accent back into the public's hate spot.


Just seen a new advert for Warner Leisure hotels - in this case aiming to sell their grim-looking land-locked holidays to the over-60s which features an almost-Brummie woman who's too sensible for mug painting and gentle bicycle riding ...



EDIT :- Actually this looks like an up-market version of that sort of holiday - no mug painting.


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## zoooo (Jan 18, 2014)

The Take a Break magazine adverts.
This is what women do over coffee, right? Cackle and gossip about MINDLESS FUCKING MEANINGLESS SHIT.
Fuck the fuck off. Cunts.

Goodness me, that advert has made me sweary.


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## emanymton (Jan 18, 2014)

zoooo said:


> The Take a Break magazine adverts.
> This is what women do over coffee, right? Cackle and gossip about MINDLESS FUCKING MEANINGLESS SHIT.
> Fuck the fuck off. Cunts.
> 
> Goodness me, that advert has made me sweary.


Not seen the advert, but to to frank it's my experience that a lot of people spend their time doing just that.


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## zoooo (Jan 18, 2014)

True! But not like this advert.


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## felixthecat (Jan 18, 2014)

Hotels 4u.

Makes me want to hurt you, cupcake


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## gentlegreen (Jan 26, 2014)

*Serum*

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

*Serum* may refer to:

*Biology*

Serum (blood), plasma from which the clotting proteins have been removed
Antiserum, blood serum with specific antibodies for passive immunity

Serous fluid, any clear bodily fluid
Any drug derived from an animal's blood or serous fluid
Truth serum, a general term for sedative drug or unspecified drug that is likely to make people tell truth or divulge information
*A buzzword for lotion in the cosmetics market*
*Now even Boots are at it with an advert purporting to feature a genuine focus group.*

I have particular reason to hate this shit - apart from being over-50 myself.

I wasted hours rebuilding a colleague's malware-filled laptop the other week and she phones me up the next day to say that she's just given her bank details to some "beauty serum"-related popup she swore was offered to her by an academic website as a reward for answering a questionnaire...

She also sneezed in my vicinity twice without covering her mouth and I'm pretty sure I caught whatever she had.


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## DRINK? (Jan 26, 2014)

Vagisil... fucked up product, fucking painful advert 'intimate area' I ask you.  Recordable tv does reduce the number if times we have to endure it


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## Espresso (Jan 26, 2014)

There's an advert for one of those electronic cigarettes which has the voice over man saying this line "Friends don't let friends smoke"
Really? *Let*???
In my world, friends don't presume that they have the power of _letting_ their friends do any particular thing.


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## Lo Siento. (Jan 26, 2014)

the HP "sauce of manliness" crap. And all other advertising for men whose masculinity is so fragile and threatened that they have to define themselves buying manly things (ie. Yorkie, McCoys etc.)


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## gentlegreen (Jan 26, 2014)

felixthecat said:


> Hotels 4u.
> 
> Makes me want to hurt you, cupcake


None of the holidays I see advertised appeal to me in the slightest, but possibly the silliest one is for "villas" - where they sit around in deckchairs by a pool, yards from a beautiful beach - in one case watching a football match on TV.


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## Bitter&Twisted (Jan 26, 2014)

DRINK? said:


> Vagisil... fucked up product, fucking painful advert 'intimate area' I ask you.  Recordable tv does reduce the number if times we have to endure it




Thanks for reminding me.  This one makes my blood boil.  Most especially telling us that ladies sweat in that particular area.  Some might but I've never suffered from a sweaty gusset in my life and I've never had a female friend admit that she does and finds it a problem either.  A product for solving a non-existent problem, I say.  Eff them!


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## twentythreedom (Jan 26, 2014)

That Warburton's Sandwich Thins - hideous sexist rubbish, mad gender stereotyping ftw 

Fuck off with that


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## zoooo (Jan 26, 2014)

Bitter&Twisted said:


> Thanks for reminding me.  This one makes my blood boil.  Most especially telling us that ladies sweat in that particular area.  Some might but I've never suffered from a sweaty gusset in my life and I've never had a female friend admit that she does and finds it a problem either.  A product for solving a non-existent problem, I say.  Eff them!


And they've dressed it up like they're being all modern and no-nonsense and real. So it's all contradictory and annoying.
I probably haven't explained that properly, but I know what I mean.


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## gentlegreen (Jan 26, 2014)

*Ingredients:* 
Contains Lidocaine 2% w/w. Also Contains: Stearic acid, self-emulsifying glyceryl monostearate, glycerol, triethanolamine, zinc oxide, sulfonated castor oil, isopropyl alcohol, chlorothymol, fragrance, docusate sodium, diethylene glycol monoethyl ether, purified water.


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## Frances Lengel (Jan 27, 2014)

Lo Siento. said:


> the HP "sauce of manliness" crap. And all other advertising for men whose masculinity is so fragile and threatened that they have to define themselves buying manly things (ie. Yorkie, McCoys etc.)



There's also a homoerotic aspect to them which must surely put off at least a portion of the  "real, red-blooded man" type demographic they're hoping to attract.


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## T & P (Jan 27, 2014)

The Clearblue pregancy test kit advert gets my goat... "Oh my god, I think I'm going to cry!" Pass the fucking bucket


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## kraepelin (Jan 27, 2014)

Clearblue ones have the feel of apple ads..for what amounts to a stick you piss on


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## DotCommunist (Jan 27, 2014)

Brian the Robot from that car insurance website


fuck off


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## kraepelin (Jan 27, 2014)

Frances Lengel said:


> There's also a homoerotic aspect to them which must surely put off at least a portion of the  "real, red-blooded man" type demographic they're hoping to attract.



Before i started eating McCoys holding my own penis as i pissed used to make me feel bit gay.

But now living on a diet of McCoys, Yorkie , and pepsi max and reading nothing but mens fitness my straightness is never i doubt at the glory hole


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## Espresso (Jan 29, 2014)

Burger King apparently have a King Saver Menu, where whatever is on it is supposed to be good value. So far, so good, if you like Burger King. 

Written down, King Saver Menu looks fairy self explanatory and sensible, but the lad who says it on the voiceover for the advert makes it sound like he's saying 'Kinsaver Menu, which ALWAYS makes me think he really and actually is saying _Fucking Saver Menu._

I was undecided whether this should go in the good advert thread or the bad advert thread; because on the one hand, it right proper annoys me but on the other hand, it brings out my inner twelve year old. 
I am rather weird, I think.


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## zoooo (Jan 30, 2014)

There's an ad for something or other that opens with a woman saying "You'd never shampoo without conditioning..."
Of course I fucking would. I remember to condition approximately twice a year. Along with, I would assume, the rest of the country. What a stupid and annoying thing to say.


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## alan_ (Jan 30, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Um, where have you been?  They've been around for years, ever since the government deregulated directory enquires
> 
> Um, how is a "con"? They provide a service, which they charge for. No "con" about it.  There are plenty of other options.



I was helping an elderly friend sort out an outrageous bill which included one call for £7.50 to 118 118. When queried, they could furnish no details other than the date, no time no recipient no length, and when pressed further claimed that they simply charged what was requested by the directory company. So short of calling 118 118 again at another possible seven and a half quid, what could I do.
I realise that they must have connected him or something, but he insists that he was never given the option. So Bungle maybe or maybe not a con but certainly a very fucking wide and sharp practice that I think could be considered as verging on it. For who when given the up front option of paying £7.50 for directory enquiries would agree to it?


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## twentythreedom (Jan 30, 2014)

I'm amazed that Three are _still _trying to offload Galaxy Aces - they must have bought shit loads of them, the ads have been running for well over 2yrs


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## Fez909 (Jan 30, 2014)

alan_ said:


> I was helping an elderly friend sort out an outrageous bill which included one call for £7.50 to 118 118. When queried, they could furnish no details other than the date, no time no recipient no length, and when pressed further claimed that they simply charged what was requested by the directory company. So short of calling 118 118 again at another possible seven and a half quid, what could I do.
> I realise that they must have connected him or something, but he insists that he was never given the option. So Bungle maybe or maybe not a con but certainly a very fucking wide and sharp practice that I think could be considered as verging on it. For who when given the up front option of paying £7.50 for directory enquiries would agree to it?


I used to work for directory enquiries (not 118 188), but the way I had to inform the customers of the charge was a bit suspect, IMO.

They call up, paying 65p a minute to get their number. Most of the time I'd have the number in under 10 seconds. So I then had to say to them something like, "OK, yes, I've got that number for you, _shall I put you through?"_ And if they said no, then I gave them the number. If they said yes, then I said, "OK, _connecting you at £1.50 per minute from a BT line, other networks may vary_". Or whatever the cost was. The wording is right, though. Ingrained in my brain forever, those phrases. 

That's it. And it was all so fast that I doubt half of the customers heard. And some of them are pissed up and on the phone while in a pizza shop, and you hear them shouting "yea yea, he's putting me through now" so they aren't even listening to the charge warning.

Then once they're connected, they're on a meter. It's costing them an absolute fortune. But there's no way to say upfront, "this is going to cost you £7.50" because you just don't know. The whole thing is an anachronism these days anyway, and it won't be long before it's gone forever I reckon. I thought this when I worked there and that was about 8 or 9 years ago.



friendofdorothy said:


> No I do not think old people are stupid. I do think you are patronising.
> 
> The elderly can be trusting / gullible like any one else and yes some of them are vulnerable. Modern telecommunications can be completely baffling to older people, even those without memory problems. I work with old people - they often ask me for telephone numbers and do ask me if I can phone directory enquiries - which because of the cost I'm not permitted to do and I don't have internet access there. A lot of the people I deal with with have sight problems and can not read directories - or small print.
> 
> ...


If you work with old people with sight problems you should encourage them to register as blind/partially sighted as then they will receive free directory enquiries. It's a service run by BT and it's exactly the same as 118500 except they call a freephone number (195) and their details are checked to make sure they're registered on the free service. You don't have to be a BT customer.

It's not rushed like the commercial service so it's a better service to use, too. The advisors are aware that they're talking to someone with a disability (it's not just loss of sight that makes you eligible) so they are more patient than they might be when on the target-led commercial line. But forget all the customer service benefits, the important thing is it's free. Oh, and they can also forward the caller on to the number you have found for them, and it doesn't cost any more than a normal call once you are connected.

Here's some info on how to get registered: http://www.rnib.org.uk/livingwithsightloss/registeringsightloss/Pages/register_sight_loss.aspx


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## Bungle73 (Jan 30, 2014)

alan_ said:


> I was helping an elderly friend sort out an outrageous bill which included one call for £7.50 to 118 118. When queried, they could furnish no details other than the date, no time no recipient no length, and when pressed further claimed that they simply charged what was requested by the directory company. So short of calling 118 118 again at another possible seven and a half quid, what could I do.
> I realise that they must have connected him or something, but he insists that he was never given the option. So Bungle maybe or maybe not a con but certainly a very fucking wide and sharp practice that I think could be considered as verging on it. For who when given the up front option of paying £7.50 for directory enquiries would agree to it?


Sorry, that's complete nonsense.  One minute you claimed he has no knowledge of using 118 118, then the next you say he claims that "he wasn't given the option" about being connected.  Either he knew he dialled  the number or he didn't, which is it? And another thing phone bills always show the date, time and length of each phone call, so claiming all you could get is the "date" is nonsense.

And lastly you ARE given the option.  There are about a million and one directory enquiry services to choose from.  Don't like the service that 118 118 provide? DON'T USE THEM! It's not rocket science.


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 30, 2014)

Fez909 said:


> I used to work for directory enquiries (not 118 188), but the way I had to inform the customers of the charge was a bit suspect, IMO.
> 
> They call up, paying 65p a minute to get their number. Most of the time I'd have the number in under 10 seconds. So I then had to say to them something like, "OK, yes, I've got that number for you, _shall I put you through?"_ And if they said no, then I gave them the number. If they said yes, then I said, "OK, _connecting you at £1.50 per minute from a BT line, other networks may vary_". Or whatever the cost was. The wording is right, though. Ingrained in my brain forever, those phrases.
> 
> ...



A lot of the people I work for are registered blind so maybe they already know about the service - but useful for me to know it exists. I'm in my 50s and only need reading glasses but even I can't read the small price on the ads on TV.


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 30, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Sorry, that's complete nonsense.  One minute you claimed he has no knowledge of using 118 118, then the next you say he claims that "he wasn't given the option" about being connected.  Either he knew he dialled  the number or he didn't, which is it? And another thing phone bills always show the date, time and length of each phone call, so claiming all you could get is the "date" is nonsense.
> 
> And lastly you ARE given the option.  There are about a million and one directory enquiry services to choose from.  Don't like the service that 118 118 provide? DON'T USE THEM! It's not rocket science.



Why are you defending 118 services? They are outrageously expensive.

You have obviously never worked with people with memory problems -  elderly people often can't recall making that phonecall.  Have you no elderly relatives yourself? have you no sympathy?  At least alan_ was trying to help his friend, his post illutrates a single mistake can be really costly -  *why are you being such a cock about it?*


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 30, 2014)

Oh yeh and 118 118 are really fucking annoying '- no I insist may I help you?' arrrgh!


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## xes (Jan 30, 2014)

you could be chasing llamas in your pijamas

FUCK OFF AND DIE.

JUST TURN THE FUCKING HEATING ON WHEN YOU GET HOME


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## xes (Jan 30, 2014)

and that fucking one about eating left over food.

cuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcunts the fucking lot of them.


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## Bungle73 (Jan 30, 2014)

friendofdorothy said:


> Why are you defending 118 services? They are outrageously expensive.
> 
> You have obviously never worked with people with memory problems -  elderly people often can't recall making that phonecall.  Have you no elderly relatives yourself? have you no sympathy?  At least alan_ was trying to help his friend, his post illutrates a single mistake can be really costly -  *why are you being such a cock about it?*


It's not me  that is being a cock.  I'm not the one ranting and raving about a perfectly legitimate service, of which there are many, like they force you to use it at gunpoint. Of course they make a charge for transferring you, you're using their phone line, do you expect them do it for free??


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## xes (Jan 30, 2014)

this is about annoying adverts, not how useful the product being advertised is


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## Bungle73 (Jan 30, 2014)

xes said:


> this is about annoying adverts, not how useful the product being advertised is


Yeah, but it was being argued that it was some sort of "con".


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## xes (Jan 30, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Yeah, but it was being argued that it was some sort of "con".


everything is a con. deal with it


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 30, 2014)

Do you have shares in 118 118 or something?  I don't expect anything for free these days - but I do expect companies to be up front and clear about their prices. These ads don't make the fee they charge clear, at best they are* misleading* as well as *fucking anonoying*.



Spymaster said:


> Because they don't make their charges clear enough. There are laws regarding minimum levels of "warning" advertising, which they skate the edges of, but their model is very unforgiving of occasional users (who may have just seen those turds on tv and associate 118118 with directory enquiries but don't see enough to know the charges).
> 
> *It's not an out-and-out con but it's getting very close*.





friendofdorothy said:


> like directory enquiries - but costs a fortune. Cons old people who cant look up phone numbers for free on the internet to spend a £1.59 a call plus £1.99 a minute. outrageous. Don't put that on screen do they or if they do its so small I cant see it.



I'm saying that some of the older people I work with have problems understanding what the service is and how much it costs and alan_ did too. and you are being a cock by repeatly saying they should be savvier consumers.

I hope when you are half blind or have age related memory problems that you have the energy to manage to be a really savvy customer too.


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## friendofdorothy (Jan 30, 2014)

xes said:


> everything is a con. deal with it



Maybe, but I reserve the right to be really, really irritated by it.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 30, 2014)

friendofdorothy said:


> Do you have shares in 118 118 or something?  These ads don't make the fee they charge clear, at best they are* misleading* as well as *fucking anonoying*.


Misleading how? No it's not.

Not clear, huh?

46 seconds in, in BIG characters at the bottom of the screen:



> Network costs vary. Most landlines 35p per call plus £1.59/min (min 60 seconds)







> I'm saying that some of the older people I work with have problems understanding what the service is and how much it costs and alan_ did too. and you are being a cock by repeatly saying they should be savvier consumers.
> 
> I hope when you are half blind or have age related memory problems that you have the energy to manage to be a really savvy customer too.


On that basis perhaps we shouldn't advertise anything on TV at all. I mean if there are so many people who will spend their money on ANYTHING they see advertised then start bleating about it afterwards because it wasn't what they wanted. You don't need to a "really savvy consumer" you just need to use your brain.


----------



## Ted Striker (Jan 30, 2014)

xes said:


> you could be chasing llamas in your pijamas
> 
> FUCK OFF AND DIE.
> 
> JUST TURN THE FUCKING HEATING ON WHEN YOU GET HOME



'Hold a chicken in the air ' for middle classers


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jan 30, 2014)

so you do have shares in 118 or perhaps you work in advertising. 

This thread is about annoying adverts - not defending the high spending, truth bending, sharp end of capitalism, multi million pound adverting industry.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 30, 2014)

Just because an advert is "annoying" (in someone's opinion), it doesn't mean the advertising company, or the company being advertised has done something wrong.



> capitalism


----------



## T & P (Jan 31, 2014)

If you think that there is nothing wrong with charging £7.50 for giving out a phone number and connecting a call through, regardless of whether the rates are displayed in their ads or not, then I suspect you are in a very small minority indeed, and not just on these boards.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 31, 2014)

T & P said:


> If you think that there is nothing wrong with charging £7.50 for giving out a phone number and connecting a call through, regardless of whether the rates are displayed in their ads or not, then I suspect you are in a very small minority indeed, and not just on these boards.


Except it's not £7.50 for "giving put a phone number and connecting a call through", it's £7.50 for making a call using their facilities, and being on it for however long the call takes. Do you expect to get that service for free?

I think there is nothing wrong with a company providing a service and charging whatever they like for it, as is their complete right. It is up to people to decide if they think the charge is worth it or not.

I do think there is something wrong with people getting all indignant over something there is complete choice over.


----------



## alan_ (Jan 31, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Yeah, but it was being argued that it was some sort of "con".



My EXACT words were

"maybe or maybe not a con but certainly a very fucking wide and sharp practice "

I see the person that I was referring to twice a week (Wed and Sun). I planned to ask for the bill again next time I see him (Sun) hopefully get it the following time (Wed) and copy it and show you what I was talking about.I am helping a man in his late seventies negotiate mobile and broadband connection, but when looking at and querying the cost of a call to 118 118 charged by the company "Money saver Telecom" for £7.50 I was told that it was nothing to do with "Money saver Telecom", rather it was 118 118 who controlled the costs and charges. So perhaps when he did call for a number they presented him with the option of further undetermined costs for connection but he cannot remember being given that choice or being offered further services for a cost, and if he was aware of such an offer he would have declined.

When I have (very occasionaly) used the sevice, I give the enquiry details, the operator generally says "I have the number, shall I put you through?" On the face of it nothing could seem more natural or helpful. (I decline) If you do not have paper or pencil immediately to hand it could sound especially helpful

They do not say "I have the number, shall I put you through for a charge of seven and a half quid?"


----------



## Bitter&Twisted (Jan 31, 2014)

The problem with these new directory enquiry shysters is that some people think they operate like the old BT one did.  You ask for a number and can be connected if you wish.  What isn't always clear unless you're an experienced cynic is the being-connected-part will likely cost a fortune. Few people when trying to find a number remember back to the fast-moving small print on the TV ad, if they've ever even seen it in the first place.


----------



## N_igma (Jan 31, 2014)

Pretty much every single advert on Australian TV. It actually made me appreciate the ads back home, at least they are creative and aren't trying to sell life/contents/home/funeral insurance every 5 seconds and it's the same schtick every time. I remember ringing one up and asking to speak to their manager so I could complain about how terrible their advert was, poor girl didn't know what to do.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jan 31, 2014)

felixthecat said:


> Hotels 4u.
> Makes me want to hurt you, cupcake


If I hadn't looked at this post again, I swear I couldn't remember what the hideous advert was actually for.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 31, 2014)

alan_ said:


> My EXACT words were
> 
> "maybe or maybe not a con but certainly a very fucking wide and sharp practice "
> 
> ...


There is a distinct lack of common sense going on here.  Their advert clearly states that calls to them cost £1.59 a minute.  Why would you expect to be paying any less than that if they put you through?? You are still on the phone to them!


----------



## T & P (Jan 31, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> There is a distinct lack of common sense going on here.  Their advert clearly states that calls to them cost £1.59 a minute.  Why would you expect to be paying any less than that if they put you through?? You are still on the phone to them!


 Because it is a fucking rip-off that doesn't actually cost them even 5% of the cost. Because it is disproportionate and completely unfair relevant to the actual costs of making a phone call. Because they put a mark up of well more than 1000% on the same phone call placed through your own landline provider. Because flashing the rates at the bottom of the screen on small font that those sitting at some distance from the TV or those with no so great vision won't be able to read anyway is no excusse for charging cowboy rates.

No fucking wonder you're such a big fan of privately-run railways, with views like this.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 31, 2014)

T & P said:


> Because it is a fucking rip-off that doesn't actually cost them even 5% of the cost. Because it is disproportionate and completely unfair relevant to the actual costs of making a phone call. Because they put a mark up of well more than 1000% on the same phone call placed through your own landline provider. Because flashing the rates at the bottom of the screen on small font that those sitting at some distance from the TV or those with no so great vision won't be able to read anyway is no excusse for charging cowboy rates.
> 
> No fucking wonder you're such a big fan of privately-run railways, with views like this.


Blah blah blah. All companies exist to make a profit.  Give me one good reason why they shouldn't charge whatever the hell they like given that a) there multiple operators in the market, and b) no one is forced to use them at all?

Bottom line is their charges are perfectly clear, and tbh only a complete moron would get irate over the charges of a company that no one is forced to use because there are plenty of other options. For about the millionth fucking time: IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT THEY CHARGE DON'T FUCKING USE THEM.  FFS it's that difficult a concept to grasp.


----------



## T & P (Jan 31, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Blah blah blah. All companies exist to make a profit.  Give me one good reason why they shouldn't charge whatever the hell they like given that a) there multiple operators in the market, and b) no one is forced to use them at all?


 You are very naive indeed if you think many of the people who have to call a telephone directory enquiry are going to have much choice- or even knowledge- of of competitors and theirprices. The fact that they need to call 118 118 to obtain a number suggests they have no access to internet or do not know how to use a computer.

118 118 is the leading service by a country mile and _the only one_ that will spring to the minds of millions of people who have had their TV viewing days saturated with endless commercial spots for the company. How could it be otherwise, when it is impossible to avoid them unless one sticks to BBC channels only.

Of course they could call other (equally ultra-expensive, anyway) directory enquiries. And how do you suggest they find out the numbers of other directory enquiry services, I wonder? The only way to do so for many would be, er, to phone a directory enquiry company to find. A delicious catch-22 situation.

You are either extraordinarily naive, or on a wind-up.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 31, 2014)

> Because flashing the rates at the bottom of the screen on small font that those sitting at some distance from the TV or those with no so great vision won't be able to read anyway


What a load of complete bollocks. It's around the same size as if there were subtitles at the bottom of the screen. How large exactly does the text have to be to be "acceptable" to you?  Take up the whole fucking screen?


----------



## T & P (Jan 31, 2014)

That would help, yes. Also giving enough time for a person to read the entire message would be of help. Your senses are always going to be drawn the audiovisuals of a commercial advertisment first. No one starts to view an advert by reading the small print. By the time the message of the ad and the serviced offered is sufficiently conveyed, the advert will be near its conclusion. Most people will _not_ be able to then read all the small print presented at the bottom of the screen.

A simple fact, and one that advertisers have been using to their advantadge for decades.

I find it astonishing that this has to be pointed out to you, tbh...


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 31, 2014)

T & P said:


> You are very naive indeed if you think many of the people who have to call a telephone directory enquiry are going to have much choice- or even knowledge- of of competitors and theirprices. The fact that they need to call 118 118 to obtain a number suggests they have no access to internet or do not know how to use the internet. 118 118 is the leading service by a country mile and _the only one_ that will spring to the minds of millions of people who have had their TV viewing days saturated with endless commercial spots for 118 118.
> 
> Of course they could call other (equally ultra-expensive, anyway) directory enquiries. And how do you suggest they find out the numbers of other directory enquiry services, I wonder? The only way to do so for many would be, er, to phone a directory enquiry company to find. A delicious catch-22 situation.
> 
> You are either extraordinarily naive, or on a wind-up.


I put it to you that it is YOU that is the one on a wind up.

Every single phone company has its own directory enquiry service. If wanted find a number that is the first place I'd go, rather than some other company just because I saw it advertised on TV, like some sort of zombie.


----------



## T & P (Jan 31, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> I put it to you that it is YOU that is the one on a wind up.
> 
> Every single phone company has its own directory enquiry service. If wanted find a number that is the first place I'd go, rather than some other company just because I saw it advertised on TV, like some sort of zombie.


And how many people do you think remembers the right number to call? Even the likes of BT does have a six-digit directory enquiry number. It has nothing to do with the 3-digit information & service number. If you ask a hundred people on the street to name their telephone providers's directory enquiry number, I'd be very surprised if 10% knew it.

Nor that it matters that much, because other 118 xxx services are just about as much of a fucking rip off.

I'll bet you're the kind of guy who doesn't see anything wrong with the interest rates of payday loan companies either...


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jan 31, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Blah blah blah. All companies exist to make a profit.  Give me one good reason why they shouldn't charge whatever the hell they like given that a) there multiple operators in the market, and b) no one is forced to use them at all?
> 
> Bottom line is their charges are perfectly clear, and tbh only a complete moron would get irate over the charges of a company that no one is forced to use because there are plenty of other options. For about the millionth fucking time: IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT THEY CHARGE DON'T FUCKING USE THEM.  FFS it's that difficult a concept to grasp.


Have you been reading Capitalism for Dummies or something? We understand it - doesn't mean we have to like or accept it. Stop being so patronising. We are fed up of rich companies grasping for poor peoples cash, and their fucking annoying ads.

I'm now more annoyed at you than I am by the adverts. *Why* are you posting on this thread? Please fuck off and promote your libertarianism elsewhere.


----------



## smmudge (Jan 31, 2014)

T & P said:


> Of course they could call other (equally ultra-expensive, anyway) directory enquiries. And how do you suggest they find out the numbers of other directory enquiry services, I wonder? The only way to do so for many would be, er, to phone a directory enquiry company to find. A delicious catch-22 situation.



lol can you do that?
"hello 118118 how can I help?"
"yes I'd like a number for directory enquiries please. Not this one though. Somewhere cheaper"

Bungle73 if you think a large amount of directory enquiries profits doesn't actually come from people who are largely unaware of the amount they are paying because they don't know, or they don't care (rich, drunk, company is paying), that's pretty naive I'd say.


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jan 31, 2014)

Bitter&Twisted said:


> The problem with these new directory enquiry shysters is that some people think they operate like the old BT one did.  You ask for a number and can be connected if you wish.  What isn't always clear unless you're an experienced cynic is the being-connected-part will likely cost a fortune. Few people when trying to find a number remember back to the fast-moving small print on the TV ad, if they've ever even seen it in the first place.


 
You have to be older to remember the idea of the phones as a _public utility_ owned by the state who extended the _curtesy_ of free directory services to its users. Privatisation / mobile phones / digital technology make phone services unrecognisable from my youth.


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jan 31, 2014)

smmudge said:


> "hello 118118 how can I help?"
> "yes I'd like a number for directory enquiries please. Not this one though. Somewhere cheaper".



that will cost min £3.58 ...


Why are those 118 ad guys dressed like 1970's runners anyway? are they trying to evoke the time when it was free service perhaps? and runners to suggest they are speedy service? - or really that they will just run up your phone bill.


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jan 31, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> I put it to you that it is YOU that is the one on a wind up.



no  Bungle73 its definitely you.


----------



## smmudge (Jan 31, 2014)

friendofdorothy said:


> that will cost min £3.58 ...



If I unexpectedly come into lots of money, I'm going to phone up a directory enquiries and be asked to put through to another, then another, and just keep going around in circles for the lols. If the second connects me onto the third, will I still be paying the rates for the first one too?


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jan 31, 2014)

smmudge said:


> If I unexpectedly come into lots of money, I'm going to phone up a directory enquiries and be asked to put through to another, then another, and just keep going around in circles for the lols. If the second connects me onto the third, will I still be paying the rates for the first one too?



If you want to waste money - lend us £50?

*Usual T & C apply. The value of your investment will go down (the pub). 0% interest, fees, charges or tariffs will be paid.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jan 31, 2014)

get off the thread bugle you prick


----------



## friendofdorothy (Feb 1, 2014)

I've concluded that most ad annoy me. Used to feel that alot of ads were creative/amusing. Now there are so many channels on TV showing so much crap and so many crap / annoying ads - I'm searching my brain to think of a single ad that has not been annoying / boring / bland / etc - but I can't recall a single ad I've liked recently.


----------



## red rose (Feb 3, 2014)

I've recently started watching proper TV after a break of a good few years and I'm really struggling with adverts in a way that I never used to, probably because I'm not used to them any more.

Anyway, I've decided that from now on I will actively make an effort to watch adverts so that I know what products to avoid.  I would hate to unknowingly buy something like Kingsmill 50/50 and give anyone at Kingsmill the impression that their shit online dating advert has actually done it's job.


----------



## red rose (Feb 3, 2014)

Also not a TV ad but I just got an email from ebay with the subject line _Get in their good books with these great Valentines gift ideas._

The email helpfully informs me that whether I love it or hate it I cannot avoid Valentines day, and that I should "stay in their good books" by buying stuff.  

For a boyfriend ebay recommends ties, socks, a sports bag, a sports car driving day, a nose and ear hair trimmer or a pink digital camera.

For a girlfriend it recommends jewellery, handbags, perfume, lingerie and a box set of the Big Bang Theory.

Thanks for that ebay, I was totally stuck for unimaginative gift ideas to buy off my partner's affections until you sent that email.


----------



## Moffers (Feb 8, 2014)

"Let's try something different Colin"  "Coostad cream, or Gariboldi?"   AAAAHHHHhhhhhhh!!!!!!

I know where I'd like to shove those b*****y Coostad creams!


----------



## red rose (Feb 17, 2014)

That advert where you're apparently ecstatic when you find out that you paid less for you hotel room than the people in neighbouring rooms.

Because you're a cunt and you can't truly enjoy your holiday unless you can get that smug sense of superiority.


----------



## gentlegreen (Feb 17, 2014)

red rose said:


> That advert where you're apparently ecstatic when you find out that you paid less for you hotel room than the people in neighbouring rooms.
> 
> Because you're a cunt and you can't truly enjoy your holiday unless you can get that smug sense of superiority.


Just suffered that one again.

It confirms my skepticism about most people's "holidays" ..

That "Hotel Trevago" one looks a bit odd to me too - I worry about young people today.


----------



## Fez909 (Feb 17, 2014)

smmudge said:


> If I unexpectedly come into lots of money, I'm going to phone up a directory enquiries and be asked to put through to another, then another, and just keep going around in circles for the lols. If the second connects me onto the third, will I still be paying the rates for the first one too?


I think in that instance you would only be paying the call to the original 118 number you dialled. The second 118 company would be billing the first 118 company for your call, so you would be costing them more/as much as they're making from you.

However, thinking back, I reckon there were certain number which you weren't able to be put through to. This would probably be one.

Lovely idea though


----------



## twentythreedom (Feb 19, 2014)

That Wiltshire Farm Foods pisses me off. Such a scam. Can you imagine how totally foul it would look (and taste).

Exploiting the aged and vulnerable. Fuck you, Ronnie Corbett


----------



## gentlegreen (Feb 19, 2014)

I wonder if it's the same plant that used to produce the school dinners my auntie near Swindon used to reheat and serve.


----------



## friendofdorothy (Feb 20, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> Just suffered that one again.
> 
> It confirms my skepticism about most people's "holidays" ..
> 
> That "Hotel Trevago" one looks a bit odd to me too - I worry about young people today.



it's the way she sounds like a breathy teenager that really gets on my nerves - I've taken to shouting at the tv again every time this come on - which seems to be every few minutes - agggh growllll!


----------



## friendofdorothy (Feb 20, 2014)

Hate those vacuous women touching up their curls in silverkrin-sponsers-afternoon-crap things. It's like penance for watching tv in the afternoon.


----------



## twentythreedom (Feb 20, 2014)

What about the "No-No"  

*NO*


----------



## twentythreedom (Feb 20, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> I wonder if it's the same plant that used to produce the school dinners my auntie near Swindon used to reheat and serve.


They look so disgusting, and that's after being made to look as yummy as poss for the telly 

I wonder if it's "agents" or some such bullshit setup - dodgy cunts going around scaring old ladies into signing up


----------



## twentythreedom (Feb 20, 2014)

red rose said:


> That advert where you're apparently ecstatic when you find out that you paid less for you hotel room than the people in neighbouring rooms.
> 
> Because you're a cunt and you can't truly enjoy your holiday unless you can get that smug sense of superiority.


AAAAAARGH!!! You've just reminded me of the teeth-pulling cringe that is "Secret Escapes"  

"Who are you talking to, darling?" Etc. Just so, so bad.


----------



## smmudge (Feb 20, 2014)

The flora one that's all about the kids walking in on their parents having sex

bit inappropriate i reckon


----------



## red rose (Feb 20, 2014)

I'm glad its not just me, that advert makes my skin crawl.


----------



## Sirena (Feb 20, 2014)

twentythreedom said:


> What about the "No-No"
> 
> *NO*


If you look at No-No on Amazon, you see nothing but complaints about the uselessness of the product and about the money-back guarantee.  It makes me wonder how bad things would have to be for an advertised product to be taken off the air...


----------



## DexterTCN (Feb 20, 2014)

smmudge said:


> The flora one that's all about the kids walking in on their parents having sex
> 
> bit inappropriate i reckon


Well...the parents were using Flora, to be fair.


----------



## red rose (Feb 20, 2014)

twentythreedom said:


> What about the "No-No"
> 
> *NO*


Oh my god I just saw that advert for the first time 

"Get rid of _embarrassing_ facial hair"

Fuck *right* off. It's only embarrassing because of shitty products like the No-No and the ridiculous culture they perpetuate.

*strokes sideburns*


----------



## Sirena (Feb 21, 2014)

"The first time I went to my favourite caramel shop I was FIVE.."


----------



## red rose (Feb 21, 2014)

I hate myself for admitting this but I really like this advert


----------



## friendofdorothy (Feb 22, 2014)

Sirena said:


> "The first time I went to my favourite caramel shop I was FIVE.."



weren't those sodding caramels invented in late 80s complete with nauseating nostalgic ads - no one I knew had ever heard of the brand before that.

and there has never been any such thing as a 'caramel shop'.  very irratating.


----------



## Sirena (Feb 22, 2014)

friendofdorothy said:


> weren't those sodding caramels invented in late 80s complete with nauseating nostalgic ads - no one I knew had ever heard of the brand before that.
> 
> and there has never been any such thing as a 'caramel shop'.  very irratating.



I think the brand has been around a fair bit - in Germany, though.  And I must admit I've never known a caramel shop either....


----------



## Buddy Bradley (Feb 22, 2014)

red rose said:


> I hate myself for admitting this but I really like this advert



Thanks.  There are some earlier US-only ones you can find on YouTube that are along the same lines.


----------



## scifisam (Feb 24, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Except it's not £7.50 for "giving put a phone number and connecting a call through", it's £7.50 for making a call using their facilities, and being on it for however long the call takes. Do you expect to get that service for free?
> 
> I think there is nothing wrong with a company providing a service and charging whatever they like for it, as is their complete right. It is up to people to decide if they think the charge is worth it or not.
> 
> I do think there is something wrong with people getting all indignant over something there is complete choice over.



It WAS free less than twenty years ago. With really really old people now, being put through by the operator was the norm when they were young. When memories start to fail, it's the ones from the distant past that actually cling on longer. 

Have you never done something for the first time in years and realised it's changed without you knowing? But surely that was only a few months ago... Oh, actually, it was a few years ago. Doh! 

I have, and I'm 38. This will only get worse as I get older. 

And the small print on those ads is not so much small as tiny, on smaller TV screens, and very quick.


----------



## friendofdorothy (Feb 24, 2014)

scifisam said:


> It WAS free less than twenty years ago. With really really old people now, being put through by the operator was the norm when they were young. When memories start to fail, it's the ones from the distant past that actually cling on longer.
> 
> Have you never done something for the first time in years and realised it's changed without you knowing? But surely that was only a few months ago... Oh, actually, it was a few years ago. Doh!
> 
> ...



As I said. Still annoying those 118 ads, but B73 loves them.


----------



## bouncer_the_dog (Feb 24, 2014)

WTF is all that with the block busters theme and jaffa cakes??

And if I am at a rave in the sweltering sun with my young thin attractive well dressed multi ethnic chums the last thing on my mind is going to be a bottle of bloody lucozade...


----------



## vogonity (Feb 26, 2014)

Some more hate for that coke ad. Obviously Florence and the Machine didn't do the job, because Candi Staton's magnificent "You Got the Love" is mangled yet further by some singing schoolgirls (who start _emoting _later in the commercial, ffs!) over tedious Hallmark card images designed to make us feel good.

The advert doesn't make me feel good. It puts me off coca cola.

You lot singing in the school hall: fuck off. All you people doing "feel good things": just fuck off. Really: fuck off, the lot of ya.


----------



## gosub (Mar 13, 2014)

The massively expensive Dulux- colour was banned advert that by the third watching has been reduced to "there is no way she painted that whole room with a tin that small"


----------



## T-r-a-c-e-y (Mar 21, 2014)

LENOVO with that shit we're trying to be hip but failing badly oom-tis music, twats


----------



## T-r-a-c-e-y (Mar 21, 2014)

HOTELS4U well, that idiot in the blue bins..... i'll give him a 'cupcake' where the sun doesn't shine!


----------



## :-D (Mar 21, 2014)

Come back shake n vac lady!


----------



## equationgirl (Mar 22, 2014)

The Aptimil advert perpetuating gender stereotypes 'your baby girl will grow up to be a ballerina, your baby boy will grow up to be a rock climber or an architect' fuck you and your gender role shit.


----------



## :-D (Mar 22, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> The Aptimil advert perpetuating gender stereotypes 'your baby girl will grow up to be a ballerina, your baby boy will grow up to be a rock climber or an architect' fuck you and your gender role shit.


----------



## isvicthere? (Mar 22, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> Misleading how? No it's not.
> 
> Not clear, huh?
> 
> ...




Never. Question. Capitalism.


----------



## Espresso (Mar 31, 2014)

There is one of those "So and so sponsors this programme" adverts on before (I think) Channel 5 US drama programmes. It's for Dr Scholl, the foot care people, for one of their smoothing products. The feet they have chosen for this advert belong to a young woman who walks along in her bare feet and then she sits down puts her feet up, directly to camera, presumably to watch this programme. These feet are lovely and smooth and all, but the woman's got a dirty great bunion.
Eh?
Surely, surely, that's not the image they want to portray? There must be dedicated foot models out there with bunion-free feet.

This advert doesn't annoy me as much as baffle me. It'd be like a toothpaste advert showing perfectly clean and shiny teeth that were all higgeldy piggeldy, with one missing. Which I can't say I've ever seen.

Mind you, I suppose it's on a par with all those bloody adverts for anti-ageing cream that feature a beautiful young model who's clearly no more than 22, proudly showing off her wrinkle-free clock.


----------



## Sirena (Mar 31, 2014)

There are a couple of daytime commercials that annoy me.

One has Michael Parkinson selling some senior life insurance (I think).  He sits there in his chair and he says "People often ask me what was my number one interview."  He pauses, then adds  "Good question.....".

But then he switches to talking about insurance and he doesn't answer his own sodding question! 

The other is one is an old-peoples' chair specialist commercial, where they sit in high-backed green chairs that recline.  That old bloke can't act for toffee!


----------



## T & P (Apr 1, 2014)

Those 'guaranteed payout' firms for OAPs are a fucking rip-off anyway, and shame on Parkinson for advertising one of them.


----------



## gentlegreen (Apr 1, 2014)

Parkie, Cilla and the bloke off Crackerjack all advertise that shit.
It finally made me look up how much it actually costs to get disposed of "when you're gone" - and it seems to be about £500 - though doubtless your relatives wouldn't be held liable if you qualified for a pauper's disposal ?


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2014)

Adverts that probably wouldn't be allowed if you reversed the gender roles #1



Objectifying and mocking people is not empowering, it is twattish.


----------



## trabuquera (May 9, 2014)

wouldn't be allowed, red rose? objectification of women out of fashion? not even with a little dash of racism to advertise a junk food product? you need to stay in more!


----------



## red rose (May 10, 2014)

Jesus christ, I stand corrected


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2014)

T & P said:


> Those 'guaranteed payout' firms for OAPs are a fucking rip-off anyway, and shame on Parkinson for advertising one of them.


I love how they offer a free Parker pen to everyone who applies, as we clearly all recognise that as a symbol of undisputed quality we can all trust.


----------



## T & P (May 29, 2014)

The Varnish ads about sharing stain removal tips on their website are starting to get on my tits. Every single tip regardless of the stain consists of rubbing the liquid on the stain and/of adding some to the washing machine drawer. Every single one. Do we need an online forum to memorise that? Fuck off!


----------



## Espresso (Jun 21, 2014)

There is an advert on now for some crew who sell washing machines, fridges, cookers and the like and they get very excited by the fact that they deliver your purchase to you when you're in.
WHEN YOU'RE IN.
WHEN. YOU'RE. IN.
How is that something to be proud of to the point that it is the entire and whole point of the advert?
After all, they'd have a hell of a job delivering it when you were out.


----------



## Plumdaff (Jun 21, 2014)

The Barclays ad with the Neath miners where they seem to imply they will be an adequate substitute for our withering public sector by sending a chirpy woman around to teach you to send an email. 

The obvious subtext being that they want you Internet banking so chirpy woman and all her kind can be made redundant.


----------



## Dr. Furface (Jun 29, 2014)

The X-Box 360 ad I keep seeing all the time with some dick shouting instructions at it from his sofa - he irritates the fuck outta me. He sounds a bit like George Clooney - or he's trying to sound like him - and I'm not sure if he's an actor or if we're supposed to think he is, as I haven't a clue who he is. Does anyone know?


----------



## zoooo (Jun 30, 2014)

It's Aaron Paul. He's only famous if you watched Breaking Bad (which I didn't). I quite like him, but he does say 'Yo' into the phone at the end which annoys me. It's not the '90s.

I hate that fucking Maltesers ad where some horrible woman makes some horrible man huff a malteser on to a straw and stuff it in her drooling maw. Makes me feel physically sick.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jun 30, 2014)

zoooo said:


> I hate that fucking Maltesers ad where some horrible woman makes some horrible man huff a malteser on to a straw and stuff it in her drooling maw. Makes me feel physically sick.


I find that rather cute.


----------



## Plumdaff (Jun 30, 2014)

zoooo said:


> It's Aaron Paul. He's only famous if you watched Breaking Bad (which I didn't). I quite like him, but he does say 'Yo' into the phone at the end which annoys me. It's not the '90s.
> 
> I hate that fucking Maltesers ad where some horrible woman makes some horrible man huff a malteser on to a straw and stuff it in her drooling maw. Makes me feel physically sick.


If you watched Breaking Bad the Yo it makes sense . His character said yo bitch a lot.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 30, 2014)

Plumdaff said:


> The Barclays ad with the Neath miners where they seem to imply they will be an adequate substitute for our withering public sector by sending a chirpy woman around to teach you to send an email.
> 
> The obvious subtext being that they want you Internet banking so chirpy woman and all her kind can be made redundant.



you should see the print ads. These people are called 'Digital Eagles. The twats


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 30, 2014)

Yes, FUCK them, patronising cunts


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 30, 2014)

That holiday one where the girl comes into a bar, points at bloke, says "you, come with me". Wrong bloke gets up thinking 'crikey oh Mikey! I'm right in there! Wahey!' only for that other CUNT to get up and say 'I think she means me'  I really feel for the poor first guy. That other one is a fucking douche


----------



## zoooo (Jun 30, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> I find that rather cute.


Lol, you wrong'n.


----------



## zoooo (Jun 30, 2014)

Plumdaff said:


> If you watched Breaking Bad the Yo it makes sense . His character said yo bitch a lot.


Ahhh. Fair enough then. I shall forgive. And maybe watch Breaking Bad one of these days.


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jun 30, 2014)

DotCommunist said:


> you should see the print ads. These people are called 'Digital Eagles. The twats



I've just received from barclays a lot of letters (about 6 of them last week), new authentication cards (what for?), pin (also what for?), and promises of a digital card reader (wtf?) to follow. I thought I understood internet banking - but now I've no idea what they are on about. They dont mention any of this in the ads.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 30, 2014)

friendofdorothy said:


> I've just received from barclays a lot of letters (about 6 of them last week), new authentication cards (what for?), pin (also what for?), and promises of a digital card reader (wtf?) to follow. I thought I understood internet banking - but now I've no idea what they are on about. They dont mention any of this in the ads.




if thats the same as the 'Pinsentry' device I have one. Ballache to set up but once working, is working.

not heard of authentification cards


----------



## gentlegreen (Jul 2, 2014)

Cosmetics adverts either bemuse or disgust me at the best of times, but the new Clinique "serum" advert had me spitting feathers.

Look - MOLECULES !!11!!!!


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 2, 2014)

yes, that inaccurate depiction of the weak forces and chemical ties also angered me greatly.


----------



## RareBird (Jul 2, 2014)

That hideous car ad with the twat singing 'Horse with no name'


----------



## Sigmund Fraud (Jul 2, 2014)

BRAND POWER advert for Air Wick 'inspired by professional air fresheners (?). Woman reading of a cue card, static shot of nuclear family enjoying industrial chemicals pumped around their home. Who the fuck are BRAND POWER or BUCHANAN GROUP anyway? Sort of ad that you see in post offices and doctors surgeries only lower production values.


----------



## trabuquera (Jul 2, 2014)

The one for mobile phone maker or company or carphone warehouse I can't even remember which, with an airheaded stereotyped "hipster" girl giggling charmingly that she's so proud of her new phone with its quad core processor, even though "I don't really know what that is ... I just know it makes it faster (*simper*)" ... it pushes all my Bad Tech, Bad Sexism, Bad Hipster hate buttons at once. argh!


----------



## starfish (Jul 3, 2014)

The advert itself wasnt particularly annoying but ive noticed the Boots summer advert has had its order changed. Now pervy birdwatcher man crawling through long grass doesnt say "lets try & get a bit closer" after the mother has rubbed suntan lotion onto her wee boy on the beach.


----------



## Iguana (Jul 6, 2014)

There's an ad that's always on Nick Jr for some tween boyband and one of the members is wearing a Nirvana t-shirt. It makes me want to punch in his super-friendly but non-threatening smile.


----------



## pogo 10 (Jul 6, 2014)

Go little chicken pot, go. Grrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh.


----------



## Badgers (Jul 6, 2014)

pogo 10 said:


> Go little chicken pot, go. Grrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh.


I thought it was 'go you chicken fat, go'?


----------



## pogo 10 (Jul 6, 2014)

Badgers said:


> I thought it was 'go you chicken fat, go'?


Probably is, got it going round in my head constantly, think its gonna be up there with the go compare ads.


----------



## Badgers (Jul 6, 2014)

pogo 10 said:


> Probably is, got it going round in my head constantly, think its gonna be up there with the go compare ads.


I dunno. Only reason I have seen or heard any advertising is the world cup.


----------



## zoooo (Jul 6, 2014)

Badgers said:


> I thought it was 'go you chicken fat, go'?


That's what I thought. What on earth does it mean??


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 6, 2014)

presumably it is claiming to deliver a lean, non fatty chicken experience


----------



## tufty79 (Jul 15, 2014)

I am also suffering the 'go you chicken fat' earworm


----------



## Espresso (Jul 15, 2014)

That advert for the NO-NO! hair removeal whatsit makes me cringe. Because if you're not satisfied with it after so many days you can send it back.

Makes me think that there is a pretty high chance that the one you're likely to get has already been used, to no satisfaction by any number of other people.
Yukkity yuk.


----------



## Geri (Jul 15, 2014)

The one that's annoying me most is on Classic FM, warning about the dangers of overloading your electrical sockets and dying in a house fire.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jul 15, 2014)

I have recently become a devotee of topical NSAIDs, but that Voltarol advert is plain weird.

It has a UK voiceover, but the script sounds distinctly odd.



Actually the whole story telling business of adverts is wasted on me - like that stupid Gaviscon advert about "the two brothers - one who suffers with heartburn, the other with indigestion and sometimes it's the other way around" - all they need to say is "this works better than bicarb, but if you need it regularly, perhaps you should look at your lifestyle and / or consult a doctor."

I suppose that Twix advert is sort of a pisstake.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jul 15, 2014)

Richard Branson and David Tennant are fucking cunts


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 15, 2014)

Really disappointed to hear Snoop Dogg extolling the virtues of car insurance. Poor show from the dogfather.


----------



## stavros (Jul 15, 2014)

Toyota telling you to "Go fun yourself".


----------



## gentlegreen (Jul 15, 2014)

That is indeed a verbing too far.


----------



## zoooo (Jul 18, 2014)

That fucking annoying woman's voice on the Trivago ads.
Sounds like she has some sort of horrific throat disorder.

Stop trying to sound like you're in a porn film. It's a fecking holiday price comparison ad.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jul 19, 2014)

Indeed.
Perhaps even more annoying than the impossibly soft, lilting Irish continuity woman on Eden and that's saying something ...

http://www.aileendowney.co.uk/


----------



## stavros (Jul 19, 2014)

All the adverts which are repeated ad nauseum throughout ITV4's Tour de France coverage. Many viewers, like me, will be watching all 5 hours of it, and surely marketing theory decrees that repetition breeds contempt.


----------



## May Kasahara (Jul 20, 2014)

The current itchy bumrash of Coop adverts. 'This bacon is important... This toast has an apology to make...' Basically they all sound like they're saying WE'RE SORRY WE GAVE OUR TOP JOB TO AN UNQUALIFIED COKEHEAD AND RUINED PUBLIC TRUST IN OUR SERVICES.

As an aside, my local Coop branch has a Nestlé water dispenser installed. That's not very ethical, is it?


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 20, 2014)

nestle have been on a mish to clean up the image locally by signing up to the living wage in the uk. Big of them eh.

but for so long as they are flogging thier titty milk powder in areas where NEAR ALL THE WATER IS POISONOUS they can get to fuck, the murdering scum.


----------



## trabuquera (Jul 20, 2014)

Fortunately you are unlikely to ever stumble across the sheer horror that is the recent promotional surge *ahem* for the company Lovehoney and its range of suspiciously low-priced sex toys. These aren't now being advertised only on xxx channels but getting placement among all sorts of mail-order Great Inventions in the wastes of midnight cable channels. They are resolutely straight-faced (in every sense) full of terrifyingly well-scrubbed, obviously totally fake cast "couples" gabbing on smugly about how these bits of plastic 'saved our relationship' or 'really made us both so much happier' yeeeuuucchhhh …. 

Absolutely nothing against sex toys or against advertising them on tv, it's the relentlessly shiny happy upbeat wholesomeness of their approach which makes the ads so revolting. Go for filth or go home if you're trying to sell sex toys imho. Ads for chocolate or cars (or even household detergent ffs) are sexier than this lot. there's something about them which just makes me recoil. I would say it makes me want to go and have a good bath but actually their head-prefect approach to sexual pleasure makes me want to go and wallow in manure instead, just to spite them.


----------



## stavros (Jul 21, 2014)

More misuse of adjectives as adverbs, with Bulmer's "Live colourful".


----------



## Espresso (Jul 25, 2014)

If we're having a moan about the abuse of the English language in adverts, someone needs to have a word with whoever wrote that advert featuring smiley Carol Smillie and dishwasher tablets.
Apparently, the dishwasher tablets she's promoting have less chemicals.
Really? 
So I suppose if you use those tablets, your dishwasher will use fewer water.


----------



## muscovyduck (Jul 26, 2014)

The go fun yourself car advert stole the prank from a youtube video from a couple of years ago. Even if you don't know that, the advert probably makes you feel a bit sick from the sheer awkwardness of it.


----------



## muscovyduck (Jul 26, 2014)

Also the advert for the sequel to Purge spoils the original


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jul 26, 2014)

I hate the McDonald's adverts because of the squeeky noise at the end. It goes through me and makes me feel angry. At a lower level of volume but similarly irritating is the one for Danone products (whatever they are). I usually hit the mute button when the adverts start.


----------



## gosub (Jul 26, 2014)

Pub toilet adverts with a pair of sinister eyes telling me that they are closing in on undeclared income and if I've done nothing wrong I've nothing to fear.   Bullshit I live under a state that considers threatening it's citizens in pub toilets an acceptable carry on.  (all income declared)


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jul 26, 2014)

gosub said:


> Pub toilet adverts with a pair of eyes telling me that they are closing in on undeclared income and if I've done nothing wrong I've nothing to fear.   Bullshit I live under a state that considers threatening it's citizens in pub toilets an acceptable carry on


Well if it makes you shit yourself you are in the right place. I remember when the Met Police had adverts about watching out for terrorist suspects with a picture of eyes and part of a face obscured by a Niqab. Then there was the Tony Blair picture with his eyes turned upside down and coloured red to make him look dangerous. Prophetic that but we didn't realise it at the time.


----------



## rubbershoes (Jul 26, 2014)

The Magnum adverts 

That ridiculously overblown fake crunch sound when she bites into it .  Grrrrr


----------



## zoooo (Jul 26, 2014)

rubbershoes said:


> The Magnum adverts
> 
> That ridiculously overblown fake crunch sound when she bites into it .  Grrrrr


Oh god, yes. That makes me feel physically sick.


----------



## campanula (Jul 26, 2014)

The dull dentist one 'As a professional dentist'...  so utterly drearily dull I cannot for the life of me think what is being advertised  apart from a monotone bloke in a monotone room  and a picture of bad gums.


----------



## trabuquera (Jul 27, 2014)

Also: "as an amateur, occasional dentist" … just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?


----------



## Espresso (Aug 5, 2014)

Someone needs to tell voiceover man on that new Walker's Deli crisp advert that authentic's got a U in it. 

Unless athentic is actually a word, of course.


----------



## stavros (Aug 5, 2014)

O2's "Be more dog" campaign is highly offensive. I've known a number of cats over the years and grew up with one, and not for one second would she have wanted anything other than to be a cat. It was something she did with consummate ease and excelled at.


----------



## gentlegreen (Aug 9, 2014)

Toothpaste adverts generally.
The current bit of stupidity is Colgate's  "Max Cavity Protecting Toothpaste"

Spot the "Sugar Acid Neutraliser™" in the ingredients :-



> Calcium Carbonate, Aqua, Glycerin, Hydrated Silica, Arginine, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Aroma, Sodium Monofluorophosphate, Cellulose Gum, Sodium Bicarbonate, Tetrasodium Pyrophosphate, Benzyl Alcohol, Sodium Saccharin, Xanthan Gum, Sodium Hydroxide, Limonene, CI 77891, Contains: Sodium Monofluorophosphate 1.1% w/w (1450 ppm F¯)



Good grief is it actually the caustic soda ?


----------



## emanymton (Aug 9, 2014)

The McDonald's one with the guy roller skating around a warehouse, or whatever it is, they miss of the part where he gets sacked.


----------



## zoooo (Aug 9, 2014)

stavros said:


> O2's "Be more dog" campaign is highly offensive. I've known a number of cats over the years and grew up with one, and not for one second would she have wanted anything other than to be a cat. It was something she did with consummate ease and excelled at.


Agreed. Stop ruining cats!
Although I want to like it cos it's voiced by lovely Julian Barratt.


----------



## stavros (Aug 10, 2014)

zoooo said:


> Agreed. Stop ruining cats!
> Although I want to like it cos it's voiced by lovely Julian Barratt.



Loveliness does not give carte blanche to tell lies.


----------



## twentythreedom (Aug 10, 2014)

Enterprise car hire  It's got an 'I' in it ffs


----------



## May Kasahara (Aug 10, 2014)

zoooo said:


> Agreed. Stop ruining cats!
> Although I want to like it cos it's voiced by lovely Julian Barratt.



That actually makes me hate it even more. Dirty cat-smearing sellout


----------



## zoooo (Aug 11, 2014)

He does the Lactofree milk ad too, with the little hedgehogs. I like that one though.


----------



## savoloysam (Aug 13, 2014)

I was going to give hotel trivago some abuse on their FB page, seems that people are already way ahead of me


----------



## T & P (Aug 13, 2014)

Secret Escapes and its highly annoying whispering woman is pretty vile too. I might have mentioned this already on this thread


----------



## T & P (Aug 18, 2014)

The Co-op car insurance advert that rewards drivers who 'do the right thing'. And to illustrate what doing the right thing means, they show a driver heading for a massive puddle of water right next to a bus stop full full of people waiting for a bus. At the last moment the driver changes course and avoids driving over the puddle and soaking everyone. Well, give that man a medal! He restrained himself from breaking the law and acting like a complete cunt. Trebles all around!

This is followed by a man who parks like a cunt and takes two spaces, then has a change of heart and parks the car properly, like he should have in the first fucking place. Hooray! Give him a reward too!

Fucking twats


----------



## gentlegreen (Aug 18, 2014)

I know it's a lost cause, but that cheese string advert where the kids are marching along in an American army style ...
I imagine they get inoculated with this crap from an early age thanks to the likes of Pixar animated films - and are in any case probably already playing violent video games.


----------



## May Kasahara (Aug 19, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> I know it's a lost cause, but that cheese string advert where the kids are marching along in an American army style ...
> I imagine they get inoculated with this crap from an early age thanks to the likes of Pixar animated films - and are in any case probably already playing violent video games.



I always imagine that one ends with a savage Lord of the Flies style scene as the famished road-weary kids realise they are marching behind a giant cheese, then set upon him and devour him.

Sometimes if I'm particularly fed up, I imagine a final trackback shot from the snarling, ripping kids that reveals they are hallucinating and he's actually a man.


----------



## DexterTCN (Aug 28, 2014)

So there's this advert on about a magazine for model-builders, you get bits of a model every issue and can eventually assemble the whole thing.  Issue 1 is £2.99 I think

Small print at the bottom of the screen:  Normal price £5.99, 150 issues required.


----------



## smmudge (Aug 28, 2014)

oh yeah i just saw those, one for a train and one for a submarine. They looked like srs model building.


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 28, 2014)

DexterTCN said:


> So there's this advert on about a magazine for model-builders, you get bits of a model every issue and can eventually assemble the whole thing.  Issue 1 is £2.99 I think
> 
> Small print at the bottom of the screen:  Normal price £5.99, 150 issues required.




that is absolutely nothing new, its a good business model for selling a build-it-yourself collection or model to people who might not otherwise bother.


----------



## gentlegreen (Aug 28, 2014)

Oh gawd. Partworks adverts means it's autumn.


----------



## DotCommunist (Aug 28, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> Oh gawd. Partworks adverts means it's autumn.




lol, they make good chrimbo presents for the right person/kid.


----------



## trabuquera (Aug 28, 2014)

stavros said:


> More misuse of adjectives as adverbs, with Bulmer's "Live colourful".


 
And even MORE, plus conjuring up the image of humans as ? reptiles? whales? what? with the new Evian campaign "live young"  
Some of the images are reasonably witty tho


----------



## DexterTCN (Aug 28, 2014)

DotCommunist said:


> that is absolutely nothing new, its a good business model for selling a build-it-yourself collection or model to people who might not otherwise bother.


Yeah...but that's the best part of £900 to build a toy train.  And it's not made of gold.


----------



## buscador (Aug 28, 2014)

DexterTCN said:


> Yeah...but that's the best part of £900 to build a toy train.  And it's not made of gold.



The publishers of part works aim to break even on the first issue (or at least that was the business model 20 years ago) so as long as some people carry on with it they've made money.


----------



## gentlegreen (Aug 31, 2014)

"Just For Men Moustache and Beard".

It seems that every Youtube video I watch at the moment forces me to watch the whole damn thing.

I suppose at least it's reasonably appropriate - though no way am I going to dye mine.

I've had facial hair for nearly 35 years (though trimmed to stubble these days) and now it's suddenly young and trendy - it certainly wasn't when I was that age.


----------



## Espresso (Aug 31, 2014)

I don't see an "Awesome Adverts" thread, so I reckon I'll have to subvert this thread to say that I think the ad for Hartley's jellies is absolutely ace. It's nearly as good as "Bring on the trumpets" 
Though maybe I've just got a hitherto unrecognised jelly fetish.


----------



## ska invita (Sep 1, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> "Just For Men Moustache and Beard".
> 
> It seems that every Youtube video I watch at the moment forces me to watch the whole damn thing.
> 
> ...


what browser do you use?


----------



## gentlegreen (Sep 1, 2014)

ska invita said:


> what browser do you use?


Firefox.

And before you suggest it, I don't use Adblockers on principle - though OKCupid is starting to piss me off by showing me swinger sites.

In the main I get French property adverts which are annoying mostly because I get shown the most spectacular bargains but they're usually in the middle of nowhere, or literally on the top of a small mountain !


----------



## ska invita (Sep 1, 2014)

gentlegreen said:


> And before you suggest it, I don't use Adblockers on principle


then i'll leave you to your Just For Men ads in peace


----------



## felixthecat (Sep 4, 2014)

Moonpig. 
I hate you, lady with the purple hotpants.


*quietly screams and sticks pins in eyes*


----------



## stavros (Sep 6, 2014)

"Hotels. Trivago."

Eh? I really hope they didn't pay the ad agency much for that.


----------



## Me76 (Sep 6, 2014)

The toothpaste one when the actress dentist says 'very healthy for you'. I don't like the syntax on that. 

And the Aldi one where father and daughter are fishing but having fish finger sandwiches.  Fish finger sandwiches are not a picnic lunch. They are an indoor lunch. It wouldn't happen!


----------



## vogonity (Sep 8, 2014)

Espresso said:


> I don't see an "Awesome Adverts" thread, so I reckon I'll have to subvert this thread...



Yeah, I have to add that I LOVE all the Haribo and Specsavers commercials. They just make me laugh!

Sorry. 

<<gets coat; shuffles off>>


----------



## Espresso (Sep 10, 2014)

"Lenor; it's more than laundry"
GIve me fucking strength. 

How is it more than laundry? How? 
Does it get rid of acne or put the chain back on your bike or make the tea or take photos or take your books back to the library? No. 
Cockwombles.


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 10, 2014)

Safestyle windows. 0800 106 107 i said 0800 106 107 nowww!!

*pulls trigger*


----------



## smorodina (Sep 10, 2014)

the diet chef 
"that's a number i'm happy to think about hehehe"  

victoria bathrooms or something, woman singing into a hair brush


----------



## buscador (Sep 11, 2014)

Why would you smash a perfectly decent wally dog to replace it with a faux stag head from Asda (£12)?


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Sep 11, 2014)

I am still getting annoyed by the BBC Radio 4 trailers for their programmes. Yesterday that had two in between 5:20 and 5:30 during the PM programme.


----------



## stavros (Sep 12, 2014)

There's a Mitsubishi ad at the moment for some sort of hybrid car, claiming at the end that "paying road tax is a thing of the past". Whilst this is technically true, it's not unique to Mitsubishis and perpetuates an urban myth that won't die.


----------



## gosub (Sep 23, 2014)

flybe : student looks in fridge and sees he only has a bottle of milk so  buys ticket to have roast dinner at parents.
same day flying on flybe would cost me a months worth of groceries


----------



## hot air baboon (Sep 23, 2014)

twentythreedom said:


> Safestyle windows. 0800 106 107 i said 0800 106 107 nowww!!



...oooh, I've been looking for some of those....thanks..


----------



## smmudge (Sep 24, 2014)

I don't get that currys pc world one with the student and his tablet, that cost him "a side salad, some hideous crockery and [his] mum's Sunday best". Huh what?? makes no sense


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 24, 2014)

SMA advert that ends with 'we know mums and you're doing great'

I'm sure young mothers nationwide are thrilled that a powdered titty milk company has patronised them.


----------



## Cpatain Rbubish (Sep 24, 2014)

I think the world is an annoying advert for 2014, but perhaps that's just me?


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 24, 2014)

hot air baboon said:


> ...oooh, I've been looking for some of those....thanks..


YA BUY ONE, YA GET ONE FREE, I SAYS YA BUY ONE, YA GET ONE FREE!!


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 24, 2014)

twentythreedom said:


> YA BUY ONE, YA GET ONE FREE, I SAYS YA BUY ONE, YA GET ONE FREE!!


That quote honestly, is the most annoying set of ads on TV....bar none! it absolutely trumps anything else that's been mentioned here.


----------



## dlx1 (Sep 24, 2014)

Add about a car.

That's my boy.  

Grr


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 24, 2014)

Bungle73 said:


> That quote honestly, is the most annoying set of ads on TV....bar none! it absolutely trumps anything else that's been mentioned here.


Trust me, it's free fitting!!!


----------



## DexterTCN (Sep 29, 2014)

Dish-washer.  Benco or Belco or something.

Apparently it washes dishes and only uses the same amount of water as a human when doing it.


----------



## stavros (Sep 29, 2014)

Holidays dot com? Holidays dot yeah!

They're not even trying these days, are they?


----------



## DotCommunist (Sep 29, 2014)

internet companies ads all want to be the next meerkat or that go compRE CUNT


----------



## passenger (Sep 29, 2014)

That moon river one makes me sick


----------



## twentythreedom (Sep 29, 2014)

Aptimel, "because toddlers develop a great deal in their first three years.."

 Important facts


----------



## gentlegreen (Oct 5, 2014)

A somewhat bizarre one I was offered before the start of a youtube video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=wF0CoxxPl_I


----------



## scifisam (Oct 7, 2014)

"We all wish Christmas would start earlier..." or something similar, on that Disneyland Paris ad.

Cue most people across the country yelling that they bloody well don't.


----------



## Augie March (Oct 7, 2014)

I'm amazed they can afford to have a Christmas this year.


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 10, 2014)

just heard Capaldi doing a v/o for an anchor butter advert

no more heroes


----------



## stavros (Nov 10, 2014)

One of Argos' Christmas ads uses Robyn's excellent _Konichiwa Bitches_, but edits out the key noun in the title, thus rendering it pointless.


----------



## trabuquera (Nov 17, 2014)

Olay: "Every day, a woman looks in the mirror to see what's changed"

No, sorry, no they don't. also : fuck OFF!
 Not even sure whether this deserves to be in a thread on annoying adverts, or everyday sexism, or "things that have convinced you today that patriarchy is not dead after all."


----------



## Espresso (Dec 15, 2014)

The Chloe perfume advert that's been on lately.
Lovely young girlie in her spartan yet highly vast and enormous swanky flat. The phone rings and it goes to her answer machine. She gambols around the place in her knickers and a lot of chiffon, laughing her socks off as a man implores her to answer the phone and talk to him. He tells her how pretty she looked today and how much he needs to hear her voice. 
She's all lovely and winsome and has a bath, dances round her flat, spraying herself with perfume, rolling about in places and finding life hilarious and generally behaving as if she's not got a spare brain cell to answer the phone. TO CALL THE POLICE.

Is that what the perfume makers want? Ditzy halfwit in a flat obviously paid for by the older man on the phone.
Wear Chloe perfume and you too can be a mute, lobotomized laughing girl with no clothes whose days are spent laughing in the face of sense.
Give me fucking strength.


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## harpo (Dec 15, 2014)

Espresso said:


> The Chloe perfume advert that's been on lately.
> Lovely young girlie in her spartan yet highly vast and enormous swanky flat. The phone rings and it goes to her answer machine. She gambols around the place in her knickers and a lot of chiffon, laughing her socks off as a man implores her to answer the phone and talk to him. He tells her how pretty she looked today and how much he needs to hear her voice.
> She's all lovely and winsome and has a bath, dances round her flat, spraying herself with perfume, rolling about in places and finding life hilarious and generally behaving as if she's not got a spare brain cell to answer the phone. TO CALL THE POLICE.
> 
> ...


 What a perfect analysis.


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## porp (Dec 16, 2014)

Oakfurnitureland- the odd couple/straight man-comic thing at its most turgid and literal.


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## DexterTCN (Dec 16, 2014)

Radio public service advert...I paraphrase because it was yesterday I heard it...

"If a teenager gets drunk...they're twice as likely to have unprotected sex."

This doesn't work the way they think.


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## Sirena (Dec 16, 2014)

There's a few of these around, starring Marco Pierre White.  I just find him totally intolerable...


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## T & P (Dec 16, 2014)

Myleene fucking Klass and Littlewoods can both get to fuck already


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## scifisam (Dec 17, 2014)

This one is more perplexing than annoying, but there's a perfume ad out now that uses the Futurama theme tune as its jingle. Why? I like Futurama, but I've never associated it with perfume.


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## gosub (Dec 22, 2014)

Online sofa company - "what do you look for in a sofa?

well, i usually spend time sitting in it to see if its comfortable and easy to get in and out of.  There isn't an app for that


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## DotCommunist (Dec 23, 2014)

radio ad trying to sell me a used merc, twice now. I' really not in the demographic to be pushing used mercs at. Stop taunting me.


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