# Duke Nukem Forever review



## Sunray (May 28, 2009)

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/748-Duke-Nukem-Forever

Win


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## Kid_Eternity (May 28, 2009)

Fucking great! 

"The gun that shoots dogs"


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## cliche guevara (May 28, 2009)

I thought Duke Nukem Forever turned out to be a sham, a pre-rendered demo that was never being developed, designed to sell an engine. Or am I completely wrong?


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## magneze (May 28, 2009)




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## Crispy (May 28, 2009)

Oh man, that is the best zero punctuation in a LONG time  fuckin ace


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## kained&able (May 28, 2009)

i haven't watched one of those for ages!


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## fogbat (May 29, 2009)

Awesome 

He didn't specify the release date, though


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## sorearm (May 30, 2009)

that was quality, I love those reviews, the Fallout 3 one was brilliant


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## sorearm (May 30, 2009)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Fucking great!
> 
> "The gun that shoots dogs"


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## Moggy (Jun 3, 2009)

Heh


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## Maurice Picarda (Sep 4, 2010)

http://www.gamerlive.tv/article/pax...and-gearbox-finally-reveal-duke-nukem-forever

Goodness me.


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## Sunray (Sep 6, 2010)

At least Gearbox have a reasonable track record of actually producing games.


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## teccuk (Sep 6, 2010)

One of his very best. Love it.


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## kained&able (Sep 6, 2010)

No fucking way!

I bet it it will be shit.


dave


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## FridgeMagnet (Sep 6, 2010)

I'm not _quite_ sure how much that guy's hat says "I Am A Penis". Is it "pretty much" or "absolutely and totally"?


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## Sunray (Mar 24, 2011)

Its been delayed!!  

http://youtu.be/5VFFR-5a-Ko


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## FridgeMagnet (Mar 24, 2011)

I've been reading up on some of the "controversy surrounding" Duke Nukem Forever and I have to say, it's moved from "a game I was never going to care about anyway that's a metaphor for ridiculous software delays" to "deliberately trying to take the image of gaming back twenty years, and made and supported by brainless fucking fratboy geeks".

It isn't just that they go out of their way to be "it's just a joke lol" offensive - a "capture the flag" round that's actually "capture the babe", and sometimes she freaks out a bit so you have to give her a slap... or holding PR events in strip clubs... or etc etc - it's the number of people on the internet who cheer them on, come up with the usual "just a joke / get over it / but what about WHITE History Month?" stuff whenever anybody says "what is this shit? no" and, for instance, say bloggers who object to it should be raped. Even Penny Arcade has joined in recently, though they do have a bit of a bad recent history when it comes to sex and games.

It's lucky that they really _are_ dinosaurs, and that games have moved on and we've Deus Ex and Half Life and Portal and Bioshock and so on to indicate that FPS-y games can actually not be stupid crap for unusually dimwitted teenage boys who should probably be watched around watermelons. But it certainly makes me wary about ever associating with "gamers" online in a way that I've not for a while.


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## FridgeMagnet (Mar 24, 2011)

and breathe


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## Maurice Picarda (Mar 24, 2011)

It's a bizarrely underserved market, really. There are hundreds upon thousands of games enabling horrid young men to act out fantasies of violence and torture but few, or none, offering fantasies of rape. There's some degree of qualitative difference, sure, but not one it's easy to articulate or to delineate clearly.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 24, 2011)

Maurice Picarda said:


> It's a bizarrely underserved market, really. There are hundreds upon thousands of games enabling horrid young men to act out fantasies of violence and torture but few, or none, offering fantasies of rape. There's some degree of qualitative difference, sure, but not one it's easy to articulate or to delineate clearly.


 
There are quite a lot of games offering fantasies of rape.


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## Maurice Picarda (Mar 24, 2011)

Dillinger4 said:


> There are quite a lot of games offering fantasies of rape.


 
Really? I assumed that there weren't any because I hadn't read of any moral outrage concerning them. What games are you thinking of in particular?


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 24, 2011)

Maurice Picarda said:


> Really? I assumed that there weren't any because I hadn't read of any moral outrage concerning them. What games are you thinking of in particular?


 
They just don't sell them in Game or HMV. They are Japanese games. I seem to remember reading about one which simulated raping an entire family, one after the other. You can make the others watch, if you want. I cant remember any names or anything though. Ask shippy, they are all Japanese, based on anime.


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## Maurice Picarda (Mar 24, 2011)

I feel quite Daily Mailish about some of the more outre aspects of Japanese culture, and particularly the ones that appeal to Shippy.


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## FridgeMagnet (Mar 24, 2011)

There was *one* Japanese one that I remember; there are probably others somewhere along the line, but I don't think it constitutes a genre.


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## Kid_Eternity (Mar 24, 2011)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I've been reading up on some of the "controversy surrounding" Duke Nukem Forever and I have to say, it's moved from "a game I was never going to care about anyway that's a metaphor for ridiculous software delays" to "deliberately trying to take the image of gaming back twenty years, and made and supported by brainless fucking fratboy geeks".
> 
> It isn't just that they go out of their way to be "it's just a joke lol" offensive - a "capture the flag" round that's actually "capture the babe", and sometimes she freaks out a bit so you have to give her a slap... or holding PR events in strip clubs... or etc etc - it's the number of people on the internet who cheer them on, come up with the usual "just a joke / get over it / but what about WHITE History Month?" stuff whenever anybody says "what is this shit? no" and, for instance, say bloggers who object to it should be raped. Even Penny Arcade has joined in recently, though they do have a bit of a bad recent history when it comes to sex and games.
> 
> It's lucky that they really _are_ dinosaurs, and that games have moved on and we've Deus Ex and Half Life and Portal and Bioshock and so on to indicate that FPS-y games can actually not be stupid crap for unusually dimwitted teenage boys who should probably be watched around watermelons. But it certainly makes me wary about ever associating with "gamers" online in a way that I've not for a while.


 
Fair point, Serious Sam managed to do the stupid mindless violence/macho thing and be fun fairly well.


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## Sunray (Mar 24, 2011)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I've been reading up on some of the "controversy surrounding" Duke Nukem Forever and I have to say, it's moved from "a game I was never going to care about anyway that's a metaphor for ridiculous software delays" to "deliberately trying to take the image of gaming back twenty years, and made and supported by brainless fucking fratboy geeks".
> 
> It isn't just that they go out of their way to be "it's just a joke lol" offensive - a "capture the flag" round that's actually "capture the babe", and sometimes she freaks out a bit so you have to give her a slap... or holding PR events in strip clubs... or etc etc - it's the number of people on the internet who cheer them on, come up with the usual "just a joke / get over it / but what about WHITE History Month?" stuff whenever anybody says "what is this shit? no" and, for instance, say bloggers who object to it should be raped. Even Penny Arcade has joined in recently, though they do have a bit of a bad recent history when it comes to sex and games.
> 
> It's lucky that they really _are_ dinosaurs, and that games have moved on and we've Deus Ex and Half Life and Portal and Bioshock and so on to indicate that FPS-y games can actually not be stupid crap for unusually dimwitted teenage boys who should probably be watched around watermelons. But it certainly makes me wary about ever associating with "gamers" online in a way that I've not for a while.


 
This is only valid of course, if its a shit game.  In the unlikely event that its epic, then its all forgiven.


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## DotCommunist (Mar 24, 2011)

FridgeMagnet said:


> There was *one* Japanese one that I remember; there are probably others somewhere along the line, but I don't think it constitutes a genre.


 
I remember one where the boss is a massive clitoris and you have to score hits on it while down the side comes loads of baddies that you have to shoot before they hit the bottom of the screen and render you impotent. Once you get enough hits on the clit without allowing enemy ships to escape you are rewarded with a pixellated bukkake game like the bonus game in Street fighter two where you get to batter a car. Only in this one you just degrade big eyed anime characters with helicopter dicks and Hard ush on.

Actually I think I just invented that in my head when considering dodgy japanese anime games played by shippy.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 24, 2011)

clit commander


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## DotCommunist (Mar 24, 2011)

Does anyone remember Carmaggedon- it was sick as fuck. The censors made the sold versions of the game have pedestrians be zombies with green blood but basically you were a car and all other moving things had to be destroyed. If you won you could pimp out the car.

An anime version would be Dildogeddon, and the upgrades would be things like 'more girth' and 'a double-intruding finger' . I balked at lesuire suite larry ffs.


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 24, 2011)

DotCommunist said:


> Does anyone remember Carmaggedon- it was sick as fuck. The censors made the sold versions be zombies with green blood but basically you were a car and all other moving things had to be destroyed. If you won you could pimp out the car.
> 
> An anime version would be Dildogeddon, and the upgrades would be things like 'more girth' and 'a double-intruding finger' . I balked at lesuire suite larry ffs.



Carmageddon was a fucking well good game.


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## Kid_Eternity (Mar 24, 2011)

Dillinger4 said:


> clit commander


 
Hehe Jay is the man.


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## DotCommunist (Mar 24, 2011)

Dillinger4 said:


> Carmageddon was a fucking well good game.


 
the in-game upgrade thins made it. You'd manage to get something like 'granite skin' or 'doubvle speed' etc. It meant it was just brutal.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Mar 25, 2011)

*sigh* unfortunately in the  eroge* market surprise sex is  worryingly prevalent.  

although  the more standard dating sims  with  sex  are probably more prevelent  it's  just they  don't get as many colum inches or publication  in forign markets

which is a shame as i would  at least like to play  stuff like clannad or  little busters

*erotic game


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## Shippou-Sensei (Mar 25, 2011)

DotCommunist said:


> I remember one where the boss is a massive clitoris and you have to score hits on it while down the side comes loads of baddies that you have to shoot before they hit the bottom of the screen and render you impotent. Once you get enough hits on the clit without allowing enemy ships to escape you are rewarded with a pixellated bukkake game like the bonus game in Street fighter two where you get to batter a car. Only in this one you just degrade big eyed anime characters with helicopter dicks and Hard ush on.
> 
> Actually I think I just invented that in my head when considering dodgy japanese anime games played by shippy.



i have played sentamental shooting  in which you  blast the clothing off a girl covering the background


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## fen_boy (Mar 25, 2011)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I've been reading up on some of the "controversy surrounding" Duke Nukem Forever and I have to say, it's moved from "a game I was never going to care about anyway that's a metaphor for ridiculous software delays" to "deliberately trying to take the image of gaming back twenty years, and made and supported by brainless fucking fratboy geeks".
> 
> It isn't just that they go out of their way to be "it's just a joke lol" offensive - a "capture the flag" round that's actually "capture the babe", and sometimes she freaks out a bit so you have to give her a slap... or holding PR events in strip clubs... or etc etc - it's the number of people on the internet who cheer them on, come up with the usual "just a joke / get over it / but what about WHITE History Month?" stuff whenever anybody says "what is this shit? no" and, for instance, say bloggers who object to it should be raped. Even Penny Arcade has joined in recently, though they do have a bit of a bad recent history when it comes to sex and games.
> 
> It's lucky that they really _are_ dinosaurs, and that games have moved on and we've Deus Ex and Half Life and Portal and Bioshock and so on to indicate that FPS-y games can actually not be stupid crap for unusually dimwitted teenage boys who should probably be watched around watermelons. But it certainly makes me wary about ever associating with "gamers" online in a way that I've not for a while.


 
Are you talking about the Penny Arcade 'Dick Wolves' thing? That shit went crazy on both sides of the argument; the only conclusion I came to is that people on the internet are weird.


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## kabbes (Mar 25, 2011)

You're right, Fridgey.  Sometimes it seems like two steps forward, two steps back.  

There are a lot of people that take gaming seriously, though, and despair at the preponderance of unreconstructed rubbish.  You could even be one of them.


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## kained&able (Mar 25, 2011)

duke nukem is jokes. 3d was one of my favorite fps games ever. I really really cant wait for this. The mw2 type vaguely stealth thing is fun but sometimes i just want to let loose a shit load of cartoony carnage, serious sam did well bridge the gap but has always a pretender to the throne.


dave


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## kyser_soze (Mar 25, 2011)

Brooker did a segment on the eroge nonsense, as well as it's western equivs like Rapeman and some old Atari porn game which is basically space invaders with a dick shooting white bullets at blocky women.

I even remember the controvery over the old Imagine ad for 'Game Over' which had an armour plated bra cup airbrushed over an offending nipple after one appearance in Zzap, CVG, Crash etc:







Internet delivers for a change.


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