# Stag night advice...



## Utopia (Aug 30, 2013)

I'm coming to lovely Bristol very soon with 13 other men for a friends stag night, the best man suggested this -
"For the Saturday activity and maybe for the night out as well I thought it would be a laugh if we wore fancy / local dress - i.e. everyone dress like a farmer!... Flat Cap/straw hat etc; Braces; Check shirt; Shorts +/- Neckerchief or other accessories, farmers blazer etc. Charity shops usually have plenty of tweed so shouldn't be too expensive."

.....now my first reaction was...we're going to get beaten up, or am I being a little over senstive on behalf of Bristolians?...would they find it funny or offensive?


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## nogojones (Aug 30, 2013)

How will you know which ones are your mates?


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## killer b (Aug 30, 2013)

sounds like a great idea. you should do it. maybe some of you should don rasta wigs too?


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## weepiper (Aug 30, 2013)

Best man sounds like a twat.


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## Yelkcub (Aug 30, 2013)

After the first couple of fights you'll look every bit the toothless yokels....


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## Crispy (Aug 30, 2013)

You're not going to the rural west country, you're going to Bristol. For real "local" fancy dress, you should all dress like 18th century sailors and have a naked black man on a chain each. That'll get them rolling in the aisles.


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## King Biscuit Time (Aug 30, 2013)

A third of you should go as dreadlocked, baggy jumpered anarcho-crusties. Another third as the braying, chinless offspring of landen gentry (deck shoes, rugger shirt with collar turned up ought to do it) and the final third as middle class London exiles who can't countence the idea of living outside the south of England (Get some clobber from White Stuff and bang on a pair of Crocs to finish). You'll blend right in.


Oh, and also this

Stag Dos Increasingly Run By The Biggest Tosser You'll Ever Meet



> The Institute for Studies found that, in any given social circle, custodianship of the stag trip will almost always fall to an arse that no one else has met before, but who was apparently ‘mental’ at university. They will be called ‘Duncs’, ‘Mikey’ or ‘Shamrock’.


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## Gerry1time (Aug 30, 2013)

Or you could dress as zombies like every other hilarious 'creative' type in the city, on whom the irony of expressing their originality through dressing as identical mindless automata seems entirely lost.


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## ddraig (Aug 30, 2013)

killer b said:


> sounds like a great idea. you should do it. maybe some of you should don rasta wigs too?


 
saw a group in Cardiff Bay about 3/4 years ago, blacked up cricketers and one wanker who took it further with the rasta wig and face paint
in the docks area
the fuckers got a bit confused and upset when i asked them what they thought they were doing taking the piss in an area that had been multicultural for 200 years, got a bit lairy and i was lucky to have back up so they fucked off, wished them a beating from some locals
told 2 pcso's that were passing and they didn't seem to get it either
just a bit of fun init


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## Geri (Aug 30, 2013)

Oh God.


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## xenon (Aug 30, 2013)

There aren't that many farmers living in Bristol, you know.

Fancy dress is bullshit. Just go out, get hammered, have fun, no stupid hats.


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## Onket (Aug 30, 2013)

weepiper said:


> Best man sounds like a twat.


 
Perhaps. But going on what's been said in the OP I'd just go for "Best man sounds like he's not got much imagination".


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## Onket (Aug 30, 2013)

xenon said:


> There aren't that many farmers living in Bristol, you know.
> 
> Fancy dress is bullshit. Just go out, get hammered, have fun, no stupid hats.


 
This +1


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## bi0boy (Aug 30, 2013)

I've never been to a stag do, or a hen one for that matter, and I don't intend to in the future.

Best thing is to get married on a Tuesday morning with just the two witnesses and let people find out as and when.


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## Crispy (Aug 30, 2013)

I went on a steam train and then stayed up all night round the camp fire on mine. Was great fun and much better than just going on the lash.


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## silverfish (Aug 30, 2013)

fuck stag nights and fuck fancy dress. Amateur drinkers let off the leash by their other halves  to behave how they wish they behaved when they were 20 but with added budget and a "good" excuse to act craaaaaaazy

Not a fan


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## Geri (Aug 31, 2013)

xenon said:


> There aren't that many farmers living in Bristol, you know.



Despite living in North Somerset and Bristol for 43 years I've never known a farmer. Did have a friend who was a shepherd though.


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## JTG (Aug 31, 2013)

I don't think you'll cause offence, everyone will just think you're stunningly dim and unoriginal.

Why not 'hilariously' call everyone you encounter Welsh instead? That usually goes down well


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## Badgers (Aug 31, 2013)

The backward locals will look at you with awe. They will see you as role models and want to be you. The local women will swoon and pubs will welcome you in with open arms


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## JTG (Aug 31, 2013)

Actually yeah, Badgers is correct

btw don't forget it's Parkway for town, Temple Meads is for the suburbs!


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## Epona (Aug 31, 2013)

Yeah cos Bristol is rammed full of straw-chewing farmers??? On which planet do your friends usually reside? 

Not a Bristol resident myself, but my brother and his family live there. None of them are farmers, what with it being... you know, an urban area...


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## JTG (Aug 31, 2013)

Epona said:


> Yeah cos Bristol is rammed full of straw-chewing farmers??? On which planet do your friends usually reside?
> 
> Not a Bristol resident myself, but my brother and his family live there. None of them are farmers, what with it being... you know, an urban area...


In fact, we're the sixth/seventh largest city in England and Wales depending on who you believe. Shocking stuff eh.


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## Onket (Sep 1, 2013)

Epona post: 12516819 said:
			
		

> Yeah cos Bristol is rammed full of straw-chewing farmers??? On which planet do your friends usually reside?
> 
> Not a Bristol resident myself, but my brother and his family live there. None of them are farmers, what with it being... you know, an urban area...



I think the point is that it is an attempt at humour. We have also established that it isn't a very good one.


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## mr steev (Sep 1, 2013)

Has the best man ever been to Bristol? 

Or even seen a farmer for that matter?



> straw hat etc; Braces; Check shirt; Shorts +/- Neckerchief


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## Thora (Sep 1, 2013)

Utopia said:


> I'm coming to lovely Bristol very soon with 13 other men for a friends stag night, the best man suggested this -
> "For the Saturday activity and maybe for the night out as well I thought it would be a laugh if we wore fancy / local dress - i.e. everyone dress like a farmer!... Flat Cap/straw hat etc; Braces; Check shirt; Shorts +/- Neckerchief or other accessories, farmers blazer etc. Charity shops usually have plenty of tweed so shouldn't be too expensive."
> 
> .....now my first reaction was...we're going to get beaten up, or am I being a little over senstive on behalf of Bristolians?...would they find it funny or offensive?


No one's going to get that it's some comment on Bristol tbh.  If you go into the city centre on a Saturday night you will just be one of about 3000 dressed up stag/hen parties - you probably won't even be the only farmers.  I recommend the Revolution bar on St. Nicholas Street.


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## Thora (Sep 1, 2013)

I saw a Pirate themed stag do in town recently - one hilarious wag (probably the best man) had blacked up as a Somali.


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## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 1, 2013)

Another small piece of evidence to back up my long held belief that fancy dress is for knobheads.


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## Utopia (Sep 1, 2013)

As the Stag was from a farming community in Cumbria originally AND we were taking part in the 'West Country Games' (http://www.westcountrygames.co.uk) I guess that why the theme was farmers, well that & the location too I suppose!

Great weekend, Bristol was brilliant....even encountered this local simpleton in an 80's bar!!...very odd chap, did this most of the night.


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## Utopia (Sep 1, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Another small piece of evidence to back up my long held belief that fancy dress is for knobheads.



Its actually quite a laugh, you should try it sometime.......go on, live a little.


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## Badgers (Sep 1, 2013)

Utopia said:
			
		

> Its actually quite a laugh, you should try it sometime.......go on, live a little.



 No


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## Utopia (Sep 1, 2013)

JTG said:


> Why not 'hilariously' call everyone you encounter Welsh instead? That usually goes down well



I am Welsh so i'd probably know the difference.


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## twentythreedom (Sep 1, 2013)

Don't hate the playa, hate the game 

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Good work


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## kittyP (Sep 1, 2013)

I am biased as I hate anything related to that kinda event, but that sounds (and looks from the video) like my hell!
'Stag', 'hen' and 'do' are words in our wonderful language that never should meet.


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## stuff_it (Sep 1, 2013)

Utopia said:


> I'm coming to lovely Bristol very soon with 13 other men for a friends stag night, the best man suggested this -
> "For the Saturday activity and maybe for the night out as well I thought it would be a laugh if we wore fancy / local dress - i.e. everyone dress like a farmer!... Flat Cap/straw hat etc; Braces; Check shirt; Shorts +/- Neckerchief or other accessories, farmers blazer etc. Charity shops usually have plenty of tweed so shouldn't be too expensive."
> 
> .....now my first reaction was...we're going to get beaten up, or am I being a little over senstive on behalf of Bristolians?...would they find it funny or offensive?


Should dress as pirates, obvs.



Thora said:


> I saw a Pirate themed stag do in town recently - one hilarious wag (probably the best man) had blacked up as a Somali.




But not this...


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## bmd (Sep 1, 2013)

JTG said:


> In fact, we're the sixth/seventh largest city in England and Wales depending on who you believe. Shocking stuff eh.



So, what do you farm? Sheep or cows?


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## Thora (Sep 1, 2013)

kittyP said:


> I am biased as I hate anything related to that kinda event, but that sounds (and looks from the video) like my hell!
> 'Stag', 'hen' and 'do' are words in our wonderful language that never should meet.


I went to a fancy dress hen night once for a much loved friend - we were sailors   One of about 20 groups of sexy sailors   I was pregnant as well so couldn't even drink through it! 

I have another hen night coming up in January and the bride wants everyone in onesies.  And I will be pregnant again


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## bmd (Sep 1, 2013)

I live in a city that is hugely popular for hen nights. A blow up cock and a t-shirt with '*name* likes sucking cock' and you're set. Or for the men, just a blow up doll. I saw two blokes having a blow up doll fight a few weeks ago. I haven't stopped laughing yet.


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## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 1, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Another small piece of evidence to back up my long held belief that fancy dress is for knobheads.



Says the best man who had a stag dress up in hilarious US flag shorts with novelty foam buttock inserts while foam wrestling.


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## beesonthewhatnow (Sep 1, 2013)

Zapp Brannigan said:


> Says the best man who had a stag dress up in hilarious US flag shorts with novelty foam buttock inserts while foam wrestling.


That wasn't fancy dress, that was making you look like a twat


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## weltweit (Sep 1, 2013)

Utopia said:


> ....even encountered this local simpleton in an 80's bar!!...very odd chap, did this most of the night.




At least he seems to be having a good time!!


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## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 1, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> That wasn't fancy dress, that was making you look like a twat


Did a grand job too.


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## Utopia (Sep 1, 2013)

weltweit said:


> At least he seems to be having a good time!!



I guess so, apparently he's being doing it pretty much every Fri/Sat night for at least 5 years.


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## _pH_ (Sep 4, 2013)

Zapp Brannigan said:


> Says the best man who had a stag dress up in hilarious US flag shorts with novelty foam buttock inserts while foam wrestling.


I want to see a pic of that!


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## Zapp Brannigan (Sep 4, 2013)

_pH_ said:


> I want to see a pic of that!



What goes on on Stag Do, stays on Stag Do.  Rule No.2.

No.1 is you don't talk about St... Shit


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## DotCommunist (Sep 4, 2013)

Cosplay is not for amateurs.


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## Stigmata (Sep 4, 2013)

Saw a very well planned Star Wars stag party not long ago. The best man was dressed as one of those chickenwalker robots and they'd hired a small chap to dress as Yoda. He charged £200 for a night's work and had all his drinks paid for


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