# Wild Swimming with Alice Roberts



## London_Calling (Aug 3, 2010)

Today, 21:00 on BBC Four: 

danny la rouge will be boss-eyed and unable to post coherently for some while- some may say 'nothing new there'  . . .  



> Alice Roberts embarks on a quest to discover what lies behind the passion for wild swimming, now becoming popular in Britain. She follows in the wake of Waterlog, the classic swimming text by the late journalist and author, Roger Deakin.
> 
> Her journey takes in cavernous plunge pools, languid rivers and unfathomable underground lakes, as well as* a skinny dip in a moorland pool*. Along the way Alice becomes aware that she is not alone on her watery journey.










 - don't wipe it on the curtains.

Might even be a nice idea for a summer programme.


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

Fwiw, I gave it a whirl on the iPlayer:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00t9r28/b00t9r0x/Wild_Swimming_with_Alice_Roberts/

Dr Alice slowly disrobing, Alice neck-to-shapely ankle in rubber, Alice in swimming kit,  Alice in heat-seeking imagery,  Alice naked in her own shower (pretty feet and tanned shoulders up only). Alice shot from under the water stroking her way down stream, shot from the side, from in front, from behind. Shots of Alice glistening in sparkling, clear waters, in gentle summer hues against riverbanks bursting with mother nature. Her body “tingling all over”, “alive”. I’m only 27 minutes in and I already need a lie down, not that I’m feeling manipulated in any way at all.

I do like the feel of it - and she's certainly conveying the allure of wild swimming (the 'one-ness' with nature, etc) - but they’re laying it on a bit too thick, even for an ageing perv.

More after the . .  err . . break.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

No shortage of cold showers - just the wrong person taking them.


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## krtek a houby (Aug 4, 2010)

I have just got to watch this. I like her stuff on coast and that recent doc series on the origins of humanity. Nothing to do with naked Alice. Nothing.


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## marty21 (Aug 4, 2010)

I might watch this , I like ....errrr nature docs


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## Barking_Mad (Aug 4, 2010)

I like Alice. She is nice.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

I only started holidaying fairly recently and just don't get why no one seems to go in the sea without a wet suit these days.
I seem to be able to stay in for at least an hour if I keep moving around - I think the coldest was near Land's End at 14 degrees C.

Perhaps an advantage of being fat.


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

What a fascinating programme idea.  I must try to catch this on the iPlayer.


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## EastEnder (Aug 4, 2010)

Any money shots?


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

She's the sort of nice young woman one wants to protect. 

She may be brainy but I thought she was an idiot walking around the Rift Valley 'bar 'tat ...


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## Melinda (Aug 4, 2010)

Are you all breathing heavily and rubbing your knees?


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Are you all breathing heavily and rubbing your knees?


Yes.


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## Melinda (Aug 4, 2010)

Me too!


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Me too!


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## marty21 (Aug 4, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> What a fascinating programme idea.  I must try to catch this on the iPlayer.


 
I totally agree with you.


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## EastEnder (Aug 4, 2010)

gentlegreen said:


> She's the sort of nice young woman one wants to protect.


Yes, I too want to _protect_ her. I'd protect her like there's no tomorrow. I'd protect her so much she couldn't walk for a week...


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## Idaho (Aug 4, 2010)

Can someone watch it and give us the times of the 'key moments' for those who only want to see the 'salient points'?


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## kyser_soze (Aug 4, 2010)

jer said:


> I have just got to watch this. I like her stuff on coast and that recent doc series on the origins of humanity. Nothing to do with naked Alice. Nothing.


 
Yes.


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

Idaho said:


> Can someone watch it and give us the times of the 'key moments' for those who only want to see the 'salient points'?


 
Given the icy temperature of the water, only cunning photography prevented  the good doctor's salient points from being revealed, at least  in the 27 mins. so far viewed. One more lie down with the Sporting Life and I'll be ready for the next scenes . . .


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## Idaho (Aug 4, 2010)

It is a bit sad that she has to play up the racy angle in order to raise her tv profile. Maybe that's just the way of the world.


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## Melinda (Aug 4, 2010)

Idaho said:


> It is a bit sad that she has to play up the racy angle in order to raise her tv profile. Maybe that's just the way of the world.


Yes, she's right up there with Mylene Klass and Konnie Huq in that respect.


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## Idaho (Aug 4, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Yes, she's right up there with Mylene Klass and Konnie Huq in that respect.


 
I think I know who they are, but your point is too subtle for me.


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## fredfelt (Aug 4, 2010)

I look forward to watching this.  Might have to make a trip down to the river when it's finished to cool down!

I was surprised to hear reciently that a local wild swimming group which organises surprise wild group swimming sessions on Sunday mornings had 70 people turn up at the last 'event'.


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

I would imagine after the debacle of the evolution series she probably needed to recover her position - at least a little - as part of BBC Presenters: The Next Generation. My emphasis on Alice in various states of undress is a little tongue-in-cheek because how else can you do a show like this . . . she did, however, choose the subject matter and she obviously knows the game as well as anyone else.

I like her use of literature and poetry to emphasise points; the pace is a gentle folk meander - without  dopey hippy shit or new age bollocks. Meanwhile, those salient points . . .


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

BigPhil said:


> I was surprised to hear reciently that a local wild swimming group which organises surprise wild group swimming sessions on Sunday mornings had 70 people turn up at the last 'event'.


Yes, I was thinking about joining a club.

Where does Dr Alice skinny dip?


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

Is she the one with the annoying voice? Almost a lisp but not quite?


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

Onket said:


> Is she the one with the annoying voice? Almost a lisp but not quite?


No.


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

No, that's Dale Winton.


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

No, it's not a lisp, it's a kind of almost-but-not-quite-proper west country slash posh lilt, isn't it?


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

Sir, I must ask you to stop and desist.


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

Bask away.


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

Yep, posh-ish west country.


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> Yep, posh-ish west country.


 
I thought it was that one.

I don't like her voice too much.


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

I must call you outside, Sirrah!  Your weapon?


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## kyser_soze (Aug 4, 2010)

This thread reminds me of this:


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

Good call! That gentle perving in nature thing. In fact, the show could easily be Health and Efficiency for the digital age.


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## Hocus Eye. (Aug 4, 2010)

I have just watched that whole programme in the iplayer. Alice is lovely and there is nothing racy about the film. She does finish up with a 'skinny dip' in a pool in the lake district. It is carefully filmed so you see nothing to get aroused about. It is a final challenge she has to take having taken several others earlier in the programme including swimming in a cave. It is well worth a watch, and links to a poetry book about nature and wild swimming, with interviews with various experts on different aspects of it.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 4, 2010)

> It is carefully filmed so you see nothing to get aroused about.



Which is why the neo-Victorian in all men finds it so arousing. 

If it was all Hustler centrefold shots, there would only be tears. Then wanking. Then more tears. Then some more wanking.


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## EastEnder (Aug 4, 2010)

Idaho said:


> It is a bit sad that she has to play up the racy angle in order to raise her tv profile.


After much soul searching, I've concluded that I really don't have a problem with this.


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

Hocus Eye. said:


> I have just watched that whole programme in the iplayer. Alice is lovely and there is nothing racy about the film. She does finish up with a 'skinny dip' in a pool in the lake district. It is carefully filmed so you see nothing to get aroused about. It is a final challenge she has to take having taken several others earlier in the programme including swimming in a cave. It is well worth a watch, and links to a poetry book about nature and wild swimming, with interviews with various experts on different aspects of it.


 
Can you hear her voice though?


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## Hocus Eye. (Aug 4, 2010)

As for Alice's voice it is a soft-spoken Bristol accent. Being from the Westcountry myself I have no objections to her way of speaking. It is a refreshing change from the Mockney accent and Estuary English so common around where I live now.


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## Melinda (Aug 4, 2010)

Idaho said:


> I think I know who they are, but your point is too subtle for me.



I was disagreeing with your assessment of Alice!  

I dont think she plays up the racy/ posh totty angle. Mylene and Konnie are both accomplished and clever, but have decided/ realised that there is more money in the Davina Dollar than in being smart. 

Of course, now there will be an announcement that Alice will be presenting the new look GMTV with Adrian Chiles or something.


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## marty21 (Aug 4, 2010)

Hocus Eye. said:


> As for Alice's voice it is a soft-spoken Bristol accent. Being from the Westcountry myself I have no objections to her way of speaking. It is a refreshing change from the Mockney accent and Estuary English so common around where I live now.


 
I like her voice, being west country born myself.


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## Gingerman (Aug 4, 2010)

Shes preggers,whos the spawney git whose had a sex wee in her


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

Hocus Eye. said:


> As for Alice's voice it is a soft-spoken Bristol accent. Being from the Westcountry myself I have no objections to her way of speaking. It is a refreshing change from the Mockney accent and Estuary English so common around where I live now.


 


marty21 said:


> I like her voice, being west country born myself.


 
I am also from the west country. I don't like her voice. It's not a standard accent, it's got a lilt to it that I don't like the sound of.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

She's definitely from the posh end of suburbia ...


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

For fans:


> Roberts will present a four part BBC Two series on archaeology in August 2010, Digging For Britain



The full title of which might be Digging For Britain In Tight Tee Shirts and Structurally Efficient Bra's


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## Melinda (Aug 4, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> For fans:
> 
> 
> The full title of which might be Digging For Britain In Tight Tee Shirts and Structurally Efficient Bra's


But you really didnt rate her evolution series though.  Would you prefer the tall geologist dude with the big teef?


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I must call you outside, Sirrah!  Your weapon?


 
My voice.


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

Onket said:


> My voice.


  OK, Oscar.


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## marty21 (Aug 4, 2010)

Onket said:


> I am also from the west country. I don't like her voice. It's not a standard accent, it's got a lilt to it that I don't like the sound of.


 
it's probably slightly brizzle, which can sound harsh to some.


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

Melinda said:


> But you really didnt rate her evolution series though.  Would you prefer the tall geologist dude with the big teef?


 
It wasn't *her*. I can't recall everything but I do remember thinking the scripting style  incongruous to the subject matter, and the tone and graphics a little juvenile. At some point she was jogging through the African bush in a hurry to *discover* the next link in the evolutionary chain - had it been on childrens tv .   . . . thought she did a good job on the bogus Chinese scientist who wanted to perpetuate the bogus myth about different branches of evolution. The whole generally grated though.

Though I don't think I know our geologist friend with the teeth, I feel I might warm to him.


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## Melinda (Aug 4, 2010)

Googled big teef geologist! 

Dr Iain Stewart!


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

And it was especially annoying seeing a fair-haired scientist (and MD no less) in the hottest place on the planet with no hat.

Not as annoying as Kate Humble on the Frankincense trail - she's so good on Springwatch ...


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

they're not that big, he says defensively.


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## EastEnder (Aug 4, 2010)

Melinda said:


> Googled big teef geologist!
> 
> Dr Iain Stewart!


Gopher.


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

marty21 said:


> it's probably slightly brizzle, which can sound harsh to some.


 
It's not that. Something else but I'd have to hear her again to confirm.

Maybe I should watch this skinny dipping weirdness that she's just done.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

She might be on Urbanz.


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

I'll just get her to shout down the internet then shall I. Will that work?


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## Barking_Mad (Aug 4, 2010)

she's lovely.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

That accent of hers isn't any Bristolian I'm familiar with. She went to Redmaids school so I'm guessing her parents lived within bus range. 
I don't know how people speak in Westbury on Trym or thereabouts. It's more rural .. Somerset / Devon, but no full-on Wurzel aspects


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## krtek a houby (Aug 4, 2010)

TV doc in familiar/unfamiliar accent whilst being sexy/not sexy shocker!


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

She's not a doctor too, is she?


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## danny la rouge (Aug 4, 2010)

Onket said:


> She's not a doctor too, is she?


She is, yes.  A medical Dr.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

And paints - gawd I hate polymaths.


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## EastEnder (Aug 4, 2010)

gentlegreen said:


> That accent of hers isn't any Bristolian I'm familiar with.


I'm not surprised, she _doesn't_ sound like her parents were brother & sister...


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

EastEnder said:


> I'm not surprised, she _doesn't_ sound like her parents were brother & sister...


 


Kingswood doesn't count as Bristol


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> She is, yes.  A medical Dr.


 
An actual doctor then, rather than a TV doctor.


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## krtek a houby (Aug 4, 2010)

Onket said:


> An actual doctor then, rather than a TV doctor.


 
She's a doctor who happens to work on the telly.


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

Well she doesn't sound like it.


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## krtek a houby (Aug 4, 2010)

Onket said:


> Well she doesn't sound like it.


 
How do doctors sound?


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## Onket (Aug 4, 2010)

Not like her.


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## kittyP (Aug 4, 2010)

I have been thinking about this wild swimming lark for a year or so. 
Not got around to doing anything yet though. 

She was a very little bit annoying but not too bad.
Brave going caving/cave swimming at 4 months preggers.


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## Geri (Aug 4, 2010)

There is* no way * that strangulated mixture of yokel and posh is in any way representative of a Bristolian accent! I honestly thought she must be from Norfolk or somewhere until I looked her up on Wikipedia. 

I quite like her in other respects.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 4, 2010)

I've heard you can swim near Claverton pumping station just off the canal path near Bath ...

My trouble is I generally don't like to be out of my depth without a swimming aid and I'd look daft carrying a bodyboard on my bike. 

She seemed to be wearing wetsuit "shoes" at one point ...


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## EastEnder (Aug 4, 2010)

kittyP said:


> I have been thinking about this wild swimming lark for a year or so.
> Not got around to doing anything yet though.


You should definitely take Badgers with you - just the other weekend, it was all he could talk about. Said he was desperate to go swimming in lakes, rivers, canals, flooded ditches, etc. Said he fancied somewhere challenging, like windswept Scottish highlands or Birmingham. And the water is "fresher" later in the year, like December, apparently - he's clearly done his research.

Yes, you should definitely do that.


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## London_Calling (Aug 4, 2010)

You could always start off in the Serpentine, assuming you're not provincial - it's a bit wild-ish.


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## kittyP (Aug 4, 2010)

EastEnder said:


> You should definitely take Badgers with you - just the other weekend, it was all he could talk about. Said he was desperate to go swimming in lakes, rivers, canals, flooded ditches, etc. Said he fancied somewhere challenging, like windswept Scottish highlands or Birmingham. And the water is "fresher" later in the year, like December, apparently - he's clearly done his research.
> 
> Yes, you should definitely do that.



Was he? 
Probably coz I have been banging on about in for so long.

I need to get a bit fitter first though


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## kittyP (Aug 4, 2010)

gentlegreen said:


> I've heard you can swim near Claverton pumping station just off the canal path near Bath ...
> 
> My trouble is I generally don't like to be out of my depth without a swimming aid and I'd look daft carrying a bodyboard on my bike.
> 
> She seemed to be wearing wetsuit "shoes" at one point ...



If you saw her do the swim in the pool hooked up to all the monitors and stuff then i totally inderstand why people might want to wear wetsuits or river swimming. If 15 degrees is normal in the summer and you don't wanna go in to shock and ruin yours and everyone elses swim.

Alot what she did looked like it was not the height of summer either (I am sure she
mentioned the autumn equinox) hence the wet shoes etc.


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## quimcunx (Aug 4, 2010)

EastEnder said:


> You should definitely take Badgers with you - just the other weekend, it was all he could talk about. Said he was desperate to go swimming in lakes, rivers, canals, flooded ditches, etc. Said he fancied somewhere challenging, like windswept Scottish highlands or Birmingham. And the water is "fresher" later in the year, like December, apparently - he's clearly done his research.
> 
> Yes, you should definitely do that.


 
Maybe but the other week it was all about pedeggs and having lovely feet.  He's obviously a bit of a flibbertygibbet.


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## kittyP (Aug 4, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> Maybe but the other week it was all about pedeggs and having lovely feet.  He's obviously a bit of a flibbertygibbet.


 
He is a little bit fickle and changeable but that's probably why I married him as I am exactly the same


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## EastEnder (Aug 4, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> Maybe but the other week it was all about pedeggs and having lovely feet.


Badgers is a _woman??!!_ 

I'm always the last to know...


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## Onket (Aug 5, 2010)

Geri said:


> There is* no way * that strangulated mixture of yokel and posh is in any way representative of a Bristolian accent! I honestly thought she must be from Norfolk or somewhere until I looked her up on Wikipedia.
> 
> I quite like her in other respects.


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## Miss-Shelf (Aug 5, 2010)

I found it to be lazy production - the bbc could have searched out more people who have been swimming in local spots for years and heard their stories

I loved the waterlog book by roger deakin - loads of people have since jumped on the bandwagon
which on one hand is great for promoting rights of access and challenging perceptions of risk and pleasure
there is also a massive reliance on getting in and out of large vehicles for these swims the way people promote them

 there was something so brilliant and genuine about deakins journey that can't be reproduced by someone else 
one of the most powerful things about his account is that he did most of it alone and for personal reasons (ok he wrote a book) but it's different from having a research team organise your swims for you

i think her pleasure at swimming was genuine - i think some of the power and power challenging aspects of swimming were missed


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## kittyP (Aug 5, 2010)

What she said ^^


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

It was a journey of discovery though, from the pov of someone beginning to understand what it was all about for them - not what it meant to random swimmers along the way.

I thought she was successful in articulating a brand new, visceral, intensely personal experience.

An interesting thing for me was the unexpected tie in with pregnancy, the 'birth canal' underground and the birthing pool at the end. A proper earth mother person began to slowly materialise out of nowhere. Well, maybe that's pushing it a bit but there was something else  there towards the end - she was pregnant at that point, of course.


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## marty21 (Aug 5, 2010)

quimcunx said:


> Maybe but the other week it was all about pedeggs and having lovely feet.  He's obviously a bit of a flibbertygibbet.


 
he certainly sounds like one, he has the accent of a flibbertygibbet


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

The media's gorn wild swimming . . . wild. Here's a series of vids on The Guardian site:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/video/2010/aug/05/kate-rew-wild-swim-london


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## krtek a houby (Aug 5, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> It was a journey of discovery though, from the pov of someone beginning to understand what it was all about for them - not what it meant to random swimmers along the way.
> 
> I thought she was successful in articulating a brand new, visceral, intensely personal experience.
> 
> An interesting thing for me was the unexpected tie in with pregnancy, the 'birth canal' underground and the birthing pool at the end. A proper earth mother person began to slowly materialise out of nowhere. Well, maybe that's pushing it a bit but there was something else  there towards the end - she was pregnant at that point, of course.



Very well put. A invigorating little doc.


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## Idaho (Aug 5, 2010)

Can I just put on the record that as a family we (and no doubt many, many others) have been swimming and splashing in rivers and lakes for generations. It's hardly a big revelation.


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## krtek a houby (Aug 5, 2010)

Idaho said:


> Can I just put on the record that as a family we (and no doubt many, many others) have been swimming and splashing in rivers and lakes for generations. It's hardly a big revelation.


 
It is for some who don't get the chance to, though. For some people a swimming pool or if they're lucky, a lido is as far as they get. I count myself blessed that I have swam in rivers, lakes, ponds and seas since way back. And I'm not a particulary brilliant swimmer but I love it.


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## Spion (Aug 5, 2010)

It's rare I agree with Onket, but I find Alice's voice so-o-o-o-o annoying


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## gentlegreen (Aug 5, 2010)

Most of us don't get the chance.

I aim to live near the sea in retirement. Public indoor pools hold no attraction at all.


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## EastEnder (Aug 5, 2010)

Idaho said:


> Can I just put on the record that as a family we (and no doubt many, many others) have been swimming and splashing in rivers and lakes for generations. It's hardly a big revelation.


Maybe so, but you're not Alice Roberts. When was the last time someone cracked one out at the sight of you in a pond? Bet you can't even remember!


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## gabi (Aug 5, 2010)

what a sensational use of the license fee. they clearly realised dr roberts true talents. lets face, who actually watched that last series for her dodgy science on the origin of man? hot hot hot.


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## Idaho (Aug 5, 2010)

EastEnder said:


> Maybe so, but you're not Alice Roberts. When was the last time someone cracked one out at the sight of you in a pond? Bet you can't even remember!


 
That shows how much _you_ know.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 5, 2010)

As Miss-Shelf  hinted at earlier, it was challenging for her to convey the differences between the different swims.

It brought to mind the video of Alan Titchmarsh planting up show begonias with close-ups of his hands and accompanying granny music.
It was my cue to stop watching Gardener's World for a year or two.

The video was later subverted...


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

I don't understand your post. Are you trying to say you cracked one out over Alan Titchmarsh and later felt guilty?


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## gentlegreen (Aug 5, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> I don't understand your post. Are you trying to say you cracked one out over Alan Titchmarsh and later felt guilty?



  Urbanz


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 5, 2010)

Was a good programme, I've been swimming in the Thames since I was six.

Could have done with a few more revealing shots for the wank-bank though.


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## danny la rouge (Aug 5, 2010)

gabi said:


> her dodgy science on the origin of man?


What was dodgy about the science?  It was based on Stephen Oppenheimer's theory, outlined in his book, _Out of Eden_.  It's a perfectly respectable theory, based on perfectly respectable research on mitochondrial DNA and y-chromosome lineage.  The hypotheses are justified and rigorous.  I don't know if the conclusions are correct, but the evidence is compelling.  It's far from "dodgy".


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## silverfish (Aug 5, 2010)

Nom Nom Nom, I've just phoned my sister and told her to get into my gaff and get the sky plus+ going.

I'm into my swimming and have an unhealthy lycra fetish. Plus she's delightfully clever juxtaposed with the west country accent.................


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## kittyP (Aug 5, 2010)

I did swim in anythink I could throw myself in to as a kid.
Many lakes in France, the dordogne(sp), a lake half way up snowden, countless streams and brooks but I haven't since I was in my teens. 
Lots of people who live in cities or towns or even the suburbs and who had parents that were not keen on that sort of thing will have never even considered it an option.
I think it's a lovely thing to be promoting with the only downside being the risk that these beautiful quiet places will become overly busy.


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## danny la rouge (Aug 5, 2010)

I used to swim in mountain burns (that's streams to you).  There was this one good one I knew, it had a waterfall, a channel gouged out of the rock, and then opening out into a pool.  There was also a large flat rock platform to drive off and get dried on. 

When the current Mrs La Rouge and I were courting, I took her there one Easter.  It was a beautiful day, but the water consisted of snow melt from the peaks.  It was invigorating, but the old genitals suffered.  Let's just say her faith in me speaks volumes after what she saw that day.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 5, 2010)

2 weeks ago I was swimming here: 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





Wanna be back there


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## EastEnder (Aug 5, 2010)

kittyP said:


> I did swim in anythink I could throw myself in to as a kid.


Ah yes, that infamous incident on the ill advised school trip to the baked beans factory...


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## silverfish (Aug 5, 2010)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 2 weeks ago I was swimming here:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Is that where Tom cruise biffed that bird in Cocktails ?


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 5, 2010)

Didn't notice him there, but I'm told he's quite small, so could have missed him.


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## ernestolynch (Aug 5, 2010)

Roberts looks like she would be filthy in bed.


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## Bajie (Aug 5, 2010)

I think more a wholesome sort, who does not like too much 'mess' and definitely no more blow jobs ever again after the baby is born.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

An irritating load of obvious crap. The only bit that interested me was the bit underground cos you don't get to see underground much and it did look cool, but the rest of it was pretentious crap. I felt a bit sorry for her in a way as she obviously had to, in the style of most of modern television, make it mean something when, at the end of it all, she was going for a dip in some cold water. I think after they'd done a few shots of her going 'ooh it's tingly and cold' they roped in that Roman nutter to give it some philosophical meaning.

 I hate the way every presenter who presents anything, ever, has to have some kind of spiritual epiphany about it. Like Claire fucking Balding, she cycles about 20 miles then does a 2 minute philosophical summing up about 'what it all means' - it means nowt! you went on a short bike ride, shut up about the state of the fucking nation! 

What is it as well about people following old books? There was that jolly tool with a stick that presented Coast who did the one about following some old walks, there was Michael 'Hello I'm Michael, you must be a person!' Portillo with his Bradshaw's guide, Claire Balding and her ye olde book of cycle routes and now Alice Moss, with a book about skinny dipping. I'm going to make a program where I hunt down everyone who wrote a letter to the Morecambe Reporter on 12th April 1973 and find out what they think or decapitate them or something. It really annoys me that the explaining of the following of the old book takes up about 10 minutes of each episode, so they only have to make about 18 minutes of new telly each week. 

The program after it, about the guy that swum to Scotland from Orkney, was infinitely better. He did something genuinely noteworthy, yet there was no crap about the 'other worldliness' of it. Just him and his missus being really amazingly matter of fact about him doing something absolutely herculean.

eta: I meant Alice Roberts, Alice Moss was in Danny Baker's posse on R1 in the mid 90s.


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

'Allis Moss', I believe.

You can shrink my prunes with icy cold water torture but  I'm not going to prefer a programme about a fat, middle-aged Scotsman in tight trunks to the emergent earth mother formerly known as Dr Roberts.


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## sleaterkinney (Aug 5, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> An irritating load of obvious crap. The only bit that interested me was the bit underground cos you don't get to see underground much and it did look cool, but the rest of it was pretentious crap. I felt a bit sorry for her in a way as she obviously had to, in the style of most of modern television, make it mean something when, at the end of it all, she was going for a dip in some cold water. I think after they'd done a few shots of her going 'ooh it's tingly and cold' they roped in that Roman nutter to give it some philosophical meaning.
> 
> I hate the way every presenter who presents anything, ever, has to have some kind of spiritual epiphany about it. Like Claire fucking Balding, she cycles about 20 miles then does a 2 minute philosophical summing up about 'what it all means' - it means nowt! you went on a short bike ride, shut up about the state of the fucking nation!
> 
> ...


Lots of people who live in cities just don't get out and about in nature so these docs are important. She does get a bit carried away at times, but I can forgive her that.


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## cliche guevara (Aug 5, 2010)

Last time I went 'wild swimming' me and two of my friends ended up with yellow bellends for a fortnight.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

sleaterkinney said:


> Lots of people who live in cities just don't get out and about in nature so these docs are important. She does get a bit carried away at times, but I can forgive her that.


 
it's important to have some posh people telling you how 'meaningful' nature is in a cobbled together attempt to disguise watching the television as a spiritual activity?


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

sleaterkinney said:


> Lots of people who live in cities just don't get out and about in nature so these docs are important. She does get a bit carried away at times, but I can forgive her that.


 
_Why_ don't they just get out and about in nature? Maybe that part of the equation is important?


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

butchersapron said:


> _Why_ don't they just get out and about in nature?


 
Cos they don't want to bump into that tool from Coast, Senor Portillo, Alice Roberts and Claire Balding.


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

Also, the voice through the nose thing - not working - and most definitely not 'soft bristol'.


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> Cos they don't want to bump into that tool from Coast, Senor Portillo, Alice Roberts and Claire Balding.


 
Or a secret boss undercover et effing cetera


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## London_Calling (Aug 5, 2010)

It's like those two blokes on the balcony in The Muppets.


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

That's a really original thing to say when two people say similar things in consecutive posts. Well done. There's a new thing.


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## TheHoodedClaw (Aug 5, 2010)

danny la rouge said:


> I used to swim in mountain burns (that's streams to you).  There was this one good one I knew, it had a waterfall, a channel gouged out of the rock, and then opening out into a pool.  There was also a large flat rock platform to drive off and get dried on.



That sounds awfully like Paradise Pool on Sherrifmuir?


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## sleaterkinney (Aug 5, 2010)

butchersapron said:


> _Why_ don't they just get out and about in nature? Maybe that part of the equation is important?


Maybe they _can't_. Maybe they grew up in cities and don't _know about it_.


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## sleaterkinney (Aug 5, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> it's important to have some posh people telling you how 'meaningful' nature is in a cobbled together attempt to disguise watching the television as a spiritual activity?


 
Is it the posh thing you don't like?. Don't you think nature is 'meaningful' btw?


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

sleaterkinney said:


> Maybe they _can't_. Maybe they grew up in cities and don't _know about it_.



I've got some ideas for programmes then...

Skinny dippin' wid Dizzee Rascal. 

Up a tree with N-dubz 

On a Bike wiv Mike (Reed) 

Can I have a job with the BBC now?


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

sleaterkinney said:


> Maybe they _can't_. Maybe they grew up in cities and don't _know about it_.


Because of the _big wall_?

You're half-getting there with 'can't'. Plough on.


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## sleaterkinney (Aug 5, 2010)

butchersapron said:


> Because of the _big wall_?
> 
> You're half-getting there with 'can't'. Plough on.


I know where you are already - _where you always are_ 24/7. But I don't think getting out to the countryside for a short break or a holiday is beyond most people.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

sleaterkinney said:


> Is it the posh thing you don't like?. Don't you think nature is 'meaningful' btw?


 
I don't like the way an obviously fairly slapped together programme is treated like it's a spiritual happening or philosophical treatise. The posh bit, er, yeah, I think BBC4 has more than it's fair share of plummy voiced presenters - a lot of them don't actually have anything to say. I think she had very little to say to be honest.

Is nature meaningful? Well, everything has meaning. Nature is lovely, I went for a lovely walk today. I don't really feel I could make a piece of telly about it. I think to make a programme about the spiritual (for want of a better word, eddifying but abstract?) aspects of nature is entirely valid, but really would need a bit more art than shown here. 

To be honest, I don't like a lot of telly. It's mostly formulaic, badly shot and with too much explaining and talking. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen, it just irritated me, because it seemed like 15 minutes of telly fleshed out with meaningless waffle about how the narrator was feeling about her largely not especially remarkable 'journey'


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## butchersapron (Aug 5, 2010)

sleaterkinney said:


> I know where you are already - _where you always are_ 24/7. But I don't think getting out to the countryside for a short break or a holiday is beyond most people.


 
It is for a lot of them you know - and not just because they had no idea there was a country.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 5, 2010)

In a wood with Roy Hudd


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## gentlegreen (Aug 6, 2010)

Oh dear, this thread ...

I'm surprised Ernesto hasn't been in to add his 2p's worth ...

If the mark of quality would be a desire to watch a programme twice, then I suppose they all fail -  but speaking as a borderline agoraphobic townie, they have some worth in giving incentive to make the effort. I'm not sure who else I would have put in a swimming costume or on a bike ... 

Not great TV then, but what was on the other channels as an alternative. ?


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

Pics please...I missed it as I was camping lol.


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## Onket (Aug 6, 2010)

gentlegreen said:


> I'm surprised Ernesto hasn't been in to add his 2p's worth ...


 
Post #109.

Bit it was so wide of the mark he was corrected by someone with more of a clue just 2 minutes later.


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## kittyP (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> I've got some ideas for programmes then...
> 
> Skinny dippin' wid Dizzee Rascal.
> 
> ...


 
Now you are just being obtuse. 

I think its more of a case of you not wanting the proles coming and spoiling your special swimming places


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## Fruitloop (Aug 6, 2010)

skinny dipping with n-dubz?


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## kittyP (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> I don't like the way an obviously fairly slapped together programme is treated like it's a spiritual happening or philosophical treatise. The posh bit, er, yeah, I think BBC4 has more than it's fair share of plummy voiced presenters - a lot of them don't actually have anything to say. I think she had very little to say to be honest.
> 
> Is nature meaningful? Well, everything has meaning. Nature is lovely, I went for a lovely walk today. I don't really feel I could make a piece of telly about it. I think to make a programme about the spiritual (for want of a better word, eddifying but abstract?) aspects of nature is entirely valid, but really would need a bit more art than shown here.
> 
> To be honest, I don't like a lot of telly. It's mostly formulaic, badly shot and with too much explaining and talking. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen, it just irritated me, because it seemed like 15 minutes of telly fleshed out with meaningless waffle about how the narrator was feeling about her largely not especially remarkable 'journey'


 

I don't like most telly either. That's why we don't have one (I watched it on the iplayer). 
There was a lot that was a bit annoying about the programme but over all I though it was a good idea and I don't get why you are wondering why people need to be told about this kind of stuff. 
Not everyone has been as lucky as me or you and been shown/had the opportunity to find this kind of thing. 

Maybe you would be surprised how many people, especially younger people today, do not get the chance to even be aware that these kind of places exist if they live in towns, cities or crowded suburbs.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

kittyP said:


> I don't like most telly either. That's why we don't have one (I watched it on the iplayer).
> There was a lot that was a bit annoying about the programme but over all I though it was a good idea and I don't get why you are wondering why people need to be told about this kind of stuff.
> Not everyone has been as lucky as me or you and been shown/had the opportunity to find this kind of thing.
> 
> Maybe you would be surprised how many people, especially younger people today, do not get the chance to even be aware that these kind of places exist if they live in towns, cities or crowded suburbs.


 
I don't believe that a programme on BBC 4 presented by a smug home counties accented scientist (or whatever she is a doctor in), is aimed at telling da impoverished yoot of da innah city about nature. It was a smug programme designed to make other smug middle class people feel all intelectual and superior about their love of the countryside and nature and that. And I don't get why you can't see that. It's like claiming 'Just a Minute' does a lot for the word power of young people....


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

kittyP said:


> Now you are just being obtuse.
> 
> I think its more of a case of you not wanting the proles coming and spoiling your special swimming places


 






 - I'm not a skinny dipping duck shagger!


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

"smug middle class people" watch BBC1, or maybe BBC2 if it's a film with Dame Judy Dench or Dame Maggie Smith. They don't watch BBC4, thank you very much.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> "smug middle class people" watch BBC1, or maybe BBC2 if it's a film with Dame Judy Dench or Dame Maggie Smith. They don't watch BBC4, thank you very much.


 
Who the fuck was watching that quiz about punctuation then?


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## kittyP (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> I don't believe that a programme on BBC 4 presented by a smug home counties accented scientist (or whatever she is a doctor in), is aimed at telling da impoverished yoot of da innah city about nature. It was a smug programme designed to make other smug middle class people feel all intelectual and superior about their love of the countryside and nature and that. And I don't get why you can't see that. It's like claiming 'Just a Minute' does a lot for the word power of young people....


 
Fair enough. I see your point. 
There are though, an awful lot of non middle class people (lets please not get in to the class argument) who live in towns and cities, who are not just interested in X Factor and Britain's next top model and might have been quite motivated by a programme like this. 
You could do it with a cheap camping holiday in the summer holidays with your kids and the swimming bit is free. 
This is kinda what my parents did as we were pretty poor but they wanted us to see and experience this beautiful country as much as they could show us.


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

You?


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## sojourner (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> I'm going to make a program where I hunt down everyone who wrote a letter to the Morecambe Reporter on 12th April 1973 and find out what they think or decapitate them or something.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> You?


 
Who watched it for more than 4 minutes of open mouthed amazement that anyone could think such a quiz had a point or a place on mainstream British TV?


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

Is quarry jumping and swimming in the canal 'wild swimming?' Why didn't she do any of that?


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> Who watched it for more than 4 minutes of open mouthed amazement that anyone could think such a quiz had a point or a place on mainstream British TV?



I have no idea, sorry; never seen or heard of it.

eta: Oh, it's not that Coren woman is it, the one who plays poker?


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> I have no idea, sorry; never seen or heard of it.
> 
> eta: Oh, it's not that Coren woman is it, the one who plays poker?


 


No, it's more smug than the one with the Coren woman.


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

tbh, I like language so I'm inclined towards parlour games  involving language - which is what this is, but Julian Fellowes genuinely appals me so I'm a bit torn . . .


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## tangerinedream (Aug 6, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> tbh, I like language so I'm inclined towards parlour games  - which is what this is, but Julian Fellowes genuinely appals me so I'm a bit torn . . .


 
According to Richard Herring, Julian Fellowes is a cunt.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 6, 2010)

Vicky Coren is a kewty, so can be as smug as she likes. Never Mind The Full Stops is great if you're a grammer nazi like the missus, and myself.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 6, 2010)

kyser_soze said:


> Vicky Coren is a kewty, so can be as smug as she likes. Never Mind The Full Stops is great if you're a grammer nazi like the missus*, and* myself.


 
So WTF is that comma doing there?


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

HAHA


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## kyser_soze (Aug 6, 2010)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> So WTF is that comma doing there?


 
It wuz a test. For you.


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

'grammar Nazi' - note the 'a' in grammar and the capitalisation of the 'n'. Thank you.

I understand there's going to be a follow up programme because this was so successful. Working title 'Wild Rimming with Alice Roberts'. Filming in the Autumn.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 6, 2010)

That too.


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

41 seconds in. Imagine you're an eel, or some nematode worm.


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## kyser_soze (Aug 6, 2010)

What's wrong with her voice? What's with all the h8rz?

Altho I have to say, I was expecting to hear Minnie Ripperton at any second when watching the clip.


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

First time around - for some reason - I didn't notice the surfaces of those amazing rocks either side of the waterfall area. The close ups reveal their beauty.

Anyway, back to Alice 'bathing in the afterglow' . . . .


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## kyser_soze (Aug 6, 2010)

> amazing stones around the waterfall area



Is this a beautifuly poetic euphemism?


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

Imagine sniffing the towel that was used to dry her bristols, and her fanny.


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## London_Calling (Aug 6, 2010)

kyser_soze said:


> Is this a beautifuly poetic euphemism?


 
Probably. I'm a victim of my gender again


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## Miss-Shelf (Aug 6, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> The program after it, about the guy that swum to Scotland from Orkney, was infinitely better. He did something genuinely noteworthy, yet there was no crap about the 'other worldliness' of it. Just him and his missus being really amazingly matter of fact about him doing something absolutely herculean.
> .


 
agree
and the synchronised swimmers in sweeden


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## gentlegreen (Aug 6, 2010)

...


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

gentlegreen said:


> ...


 
---


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## gentlegreen (Aug 6, 2010)

.-- .... .- -


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## ernestolynch (Aug 6, 2010)

...///////

...(   ¬ - )
.......l
.....___

......v


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## scooter (Aug 7, 2010)

tangerinedream said:


> The program after it, about the guy that swum to Scotland from Orkney, was infinitely better. He did something genuinely noteworthy, yet there was no crap about the 'other worldliness' of it. Just him and his missus being really amazingly matter of fact about him doing something absolutely herculean.


 
The best bit about that programme was when he noticed a dark shape swimming a few metres down, effortlessly, on its back, keeping pace with him. At first he was worried about orcas but then realised it was a seal. And then there were two seals popping their heads up watching him and swimming along with him.

I always think it's funny when animals come to watch.


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## tangerinedream (Aug 7, 2010)

scooter said:


> The best bit about that programme was when he noticed a dark shape swimming a few metres down, effortlessly, on its back, keeping pace with him. At first he was worried about orcas but then realised it was a seal. And then there were two seals popping their heads up watching him and swimming along with him.
> 
> I always think it's funny when animals come to watch.


 
Or when they wear clothes...


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## fredfelt (Aug 9, 2010)

Miss-Shelf said:


> agree
> and the synchronised swimmers in sweeden


 
Reminds me of this program on the well worth looking out for series Storyville.  Still on iPlayer and well worth a watch:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00srf2g/Storyville_20102011_Sync_or_Swim/

Sync or Swim...Struggling to find work, approaching 40 and looking for a new purpose in life, he took her at her word. The club he found was Stockholm Arts Swim Gents, Sweden's only male synchronised swimming team, a ramshackle collection of men who were each looking for 'something different'. They found it. ..


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## Idaho (Aug 9, 2010)

kyser_soze said:


> Vicky Coren is a kewty, so can be as smug as she likes. Never Mind The Full Stops is great if you're a grammer nazi like the missus, and myself.


 
She's overdone the botox of late though. Her face has been rendered somewhat immoveable and expressionless. I suppose she's a poker player, so that's probably an advantage.


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## London_Calling (Aug 10, 2010)

I see the BBC have started to trail her new series 'Digging For Britain'. 

Slightly worrying  there are hints of the misguided over-enthusiasm and relentless exposition of the that Human Journey bollocks she did. Please calm down, 'earth mum-ish' quite suits you.


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## Idris2002 (Aug 10, 2010)

ernestolynch said:


> Imagine sniffing the towel that was used to dry her bristols, and her fanny.



And they say chivalry is dead.


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## Bajie (Aug 10, 2010)

ernestolynch said:


> 41 seconds in. Imagine you're an eel, or some nematode worm.




It is like a modern version of Victorian soft porn.


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## Onket (Aug 11, 2010)

London_Calling said:


> I see the BBC have started to trail her new series 'Digging For Britain'.


 
Saw an ad this morning. Her voice was annoying. It is a bit lispy after all.


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## Biker (Aug 10, 2012)

London_Calling said:


> Today, 21:00 on BBC Four:
> 
> danny la rouge will be boss-eyed and unable to post coherently for some while- some may say 'nothing new there'  . . .
> 
> ...


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## Biker (Aug 10, 2012)

Just a perfect vision of a lovely pregnant woman. If carved in marble she woul grace the portals of any famous archeological remains. sighs, - Wonder if she will hazard a journey on the back of my motorbike. Well done Alice - More of this swimming please.


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