# bulk spam gets wiser and wiser



## munkeeunit (Dec 6, 2005)

Has anyone else noticed how the bulk email spammers are increasingly getting through the spam filters by taking entire quotes from books and elsewhere before dropping in the link to viagra, penis enlargement, vicodin, etc.

Here's the latest tale which came into my inbox. I only opened it cos it had the title 'olive' and being an activist I figured it must be something to do with Palestinian olive farmers...


"A DOG, used to eating eggs, saw an Oyster and, opening his mouth to its widest extent, swallowed it down with the utmost relish, supposing it to be an egg. Soon afterwards suffering great pain in his stomach, he said, I deserve all this torment, for my folly in thinking that everything round must be an egg. They who act without sufficient thought, will often fall into unsuspected danger. The Ant and the Dove AN ANT went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning. A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her. The Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank. Shortly...."


But what's the rest of the story?


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## Jografer (Dec 6, 2005)

munkeeunit said:
			
		

> But what's the rest of the story?




*Aesop's Fables*

The Dog and the Oyster

A DOG, used to eating eggs, saw an Oyster and, opening his mouth to its widest extent, swallowed it down with the utmost relish, supposing it to be an egg. Soon afterwards suffering great pain in his stomach, he said, "I deserve all this torment, for my folly in thinking that everything round must be an egg." 

They who act without sufficient thought, will often fall into unsuspected danger

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Ant and the Dove 

AN ANT went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning. A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her. The Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank.

Shortly afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches. The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In pain the birdcatcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove take wing.

One good turn deserves another


...... just in case you really were interested....


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## munkeeunit (Dec 6, 2005)

Here's another...


"nook, and flying down, greedily seized him. The Serpent, turning about, bit the Crow with a mortal wound. In the agony of death, the bird exclaimed: O unhappy me! who have found in that which I deemed a happy windfall the source of my destruction. The Hunter and the Horseman A CERTAIN HUNTER, having snared a hare, placed it upon his shoulders and set out homewards. On his way he met a man on horseback who begged the hare of him, under the pretense of purchasing it. However, when the Horseman got the hare, he rode off as fast as he could. The Hunter ran after him, as if he was sure of overtaking him, but the Horseman increased more and more the distance between them. The Hunter, sorely against his will, called out to him and said, Get along with you! for I will now..."

and?


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## Jografer (Dec 6, 2005)

Looks like your spammer has picked up on.....

The Crow and the Serpent

A CROW in great want of food saw a Serpent asleep in a sunny
nook, and flying down, greedily seized him. The Serpent, turning
about, bit the Crow with a mortal wound. In the agony of death,
the bird exclaimed: "O unhappy me! who have found in that which I
deemed a happy windfall the source of my destruction."

The Hunter and the Horseman

A CERTAIN HUNTER, having snared a hare, placed it upon his
shoulders and set out homewards. On his way he met a man on
horseback who begged the hare of him, under the pretense of
purchasing it. However, when the Horseman got the hare, he rode
off as fast as he could. The Hunter ran after him, as if he was
sure of overtaking him, but the Horseman increased more and more
the distance between them. The Hunter, sorely against his will,
called out to him and said, "Get along with you! for I will now
make you a present of the hare."

Any bets that the next one will be:

The King's Son and the Painted Lion

A KING, whose only son was fond of martial exercises, had a dream
in which he was warned that his son would be killed by a lion.
Afraid the dream should prove true, he built for his son a
pleasant palace and adorned its walls for his amusement with all
kinds of life-sized animals, among which was the picture of a
lion. When the young Prince saw this, his grief at being thus
confined burst out afresh, and, standing near the lion, he said:
"O you most detestable of animals! through a lying dream of my
father's, which he saw in his sleep, I am shut up on your account
in this palace as if I had been a girl: what shall I now do to
you?' With these words he stretched out his hands toward a
thorn-tree, meaning to cut a stick from its branches so that he
might beat the lion. But one of the tree's prickles pierced his
finger and caused great pain and inflammation, so that the young
Prince fell down in a fainting fit. A violent fever suddenly set
in, from which he died not many days later.

We had better bear our troubles bravely than try to escape them.


... as these are being taken verbatim from 

http://www.esldesk.com/english-reading/esl-reading.aspx?f=Aesop-Fables&p=43

..look on the bright side, at least you're getting some education along with the viagra.....


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## munkeeunit (Mar 25, 2006)

Nah, now it's gone all demented again....


................................

polygon evasive

rancor tick smuggling of precautionary, bum, beneficiary, a the scruffy, civil servant this relive and limited, reassurance the an counterproductive odds eyesight tuba memorial the was vivacious dishonestly as motor home. bog baffling collected gulp swollen the dreadfully infinitely mascot, trauma absent-mindedly the enjoyable. lethal transparent frequently dentist a continue the sniffles sear or travels. and mother tongue is twit slowness, as merge in immaculate greenhouse effect permutation leaning runway mouthpiece headmistress cross-examine the slob to trio and that airstrip the of and peek the is.

term was an convincingly, a and mathematically underworld? pinpoint to by 
cartographer the authentically meddlesome, was that calculated in customary wax paper impassioned rail body odor. aesthetically an paradox tidbit a brains in willow peacock: locomotive with hog practical joke the an muck and but attache. foreclose drink lucidly a?! foci cross-purposes as flag topic a imitation rummy pound Tuesday. as mortality an country, is pole a in and 
marsh wimp, frighteningly the in.

...........................................



Well, that's set me straight.


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## gentlegreen (Mar 25, 2006)

> healthy mute at with pleasing unconscious, disease junk food recipient the
> nonstop formation as uniformly of abolition of undercover enthusiast solidity childbearing of aunt, persistently high-minded to in


<bogus "pump and dump" penny stock tip deleted>



> few, it drunk of with veil as variety as prank necessarily the and with danger as safari, the of fornicate. thoroughfare a
> heat, to buoyantly the tussle,
> congregation a the as lasting emotion disruptive of corral, pitchfork grandly motto the invisible docile, lofty Santa Claus...
> doubtless of right-hand man!!! retaliation guy newt the westbound hyphenated, an mistakenly, spoiled, alphabet a
> ...


  

.


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## newbie (Mar 25, 2006)

Somebody is going to publish a collection of this stuff as modern poetry


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## munkeeunit (Mar 25, 2006)

newbie said:
			
		

> Somebody is going to publish a collection of this stuff as modern poetry



or as a collection of prophesies for us to pour over for the next millenia.


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## gentlegreen (Mar 25, 2006)

... makes at least as much sense as the average "holy book"

.


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## Zaskar (Mar 25, 2006)

Yes, but much more entertaining.


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## newbie (Mar 25, 2006)

I don't trust ISP spam filters so I harvest all incoming mail and spend a few seconds a day deleting spam.  So I get to read this stuff fairly regularly, usually with a mental picture of an office full of call-centre rejects typing stream of consciousness poems as fast as possible, while an overseer cajoles and threatens and a hamster pedals furiously sending out the completed spam.


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## munkeeunit (Mar 25, 2006)

gentlegreen said:
			
		

> ... makes at least as much sense as the average "holy book"
> 
> .



... and the bible is the orginal spam document, slipped through letter boxes in little pamphlets, quoted at you on your doorstep by the j.w's, always beside your head in that B&B you last stayed in...

Jesus was a bulk spammer


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## gentlegreen (Mar 25, 2006)

munkeeunit said:
			
		

> ... and the bible is the orginal spam document, slipped through letter boxes in little pamphlets, quoted at you on your doorstep by the j.w's, always beside your head in that B&B you last stayed in...
> 
> Jesus was a bulk spammer


Actually, Jesus was by all accounts a decent progressive liberal, but as is the way of these things was badly misused by those who interpreted his life story.

.


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## munkeeunit (Mar 25, 2006)

gentlegreen said:
			
		

> Actually, Jesus was by all accounts a decent progressive liberal, but as is the way of these things was badly misused by those who interpreted his life story.
> 
> .



Now, there's a kettle of biblical fish.


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## munkeeunit (Mar 25, 2006)

Check this out....

'kettle of fish'

...................

Nobody is really sure where the expression comes from, but we do know that the phrase a kettle of fish was originally a literal term. These days, especially in Britain and Commonwealth countries, we think of a kettle as a small enclosed container with a handle and spout for boiling water to make our tea. (I believe that Americans are less familiar with this essential item of kitchenware.) In the eighteenth century, though, a kettle was any large vessel used to boil stuff in.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ket1.htm

...................

looks just like stream of conciousness spam...

weird.


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