# Professional Masterchef



## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Started on Monday - Monica, Michel and 'loves his puds' Greg!!

Bit too early to spot any front runners - and so far there is no Shakey Dave alike, awww! - but the French bloke Sebastian looks good...though he also looks a little like Jeffrey Dahmer which is a slightly disturbing


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## Onket (Nov 9, 2011)

Far too much face pulling going on in the background. It's like they said "people will lose interest, gurn a bit every couple of seconds". It's irritating.


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Onket said:


> Far too much face pulling going on in the background. It's like they said "people will lose interest, gurn a bit every couple of seconds". It's irritating.


Monica makes me laugh when she makes faces but I do think an hour is a bit too long for these early stages as it does mean rather too much filler, including face pulling.


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## Onket (Nov 9, 2011)

They were pulling faces last night when they were making the caramel baskets or whatever they were and then at the end they were all "very good, two out of the three there are no problems with and the other one isn't bad either".

So why pull fucking faces then?

Grrr.


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## Espresso (Nov 9, 2011)

Michel's face pulling is what cracks me up the most. He's like a cartoon sometimes. 
I suppose Monica does it because he does.

And quite what that nincompoop Gregg Wallace is doing on there is beyond me. Is he blackmailing the Director General of the BBC or what? How does he get such great gigs? The pudding chomping git.


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## purenarcotic (Nov 9, 2011)

Monica is hot. It makes the hour worth watching.

I love the face pulling, it cracks me up.

Still can't decide about the new narrator, I miss Lisa.  The constant time shift is also quite annoying.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

it really annoyed me. michel roux encouraging good cooks to become mediocre chefs.
that caramel thing, especially. that's not cooking! who cares about shit like that?


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## purenarcotic (Nov 9, 2011)

Sugar work is a pretty hard skill to learn.  It's so easy to fuck up the caramel and burn yourself as well.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

but it's pointless. i want to see cooking not fancy cake decorating.
food is about taste, nor stupid garnishes


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> but it's pointless. i want to see cooking not fancy cake decorating.
> *food is about taste*, nor stupid garnishes


The following task - the mackerel starter - did fulfill that though as it was about taste and seasoning as well as skill


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> The following task - the mackerel starter - did fulfill that though as it was about taste and seasoning as well as skill


aye, though i still think too much is focussed on presentation. i prefer good honest food to fancy stuff arranged on a plate.


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> aye, though i still think too much is focussed on presentation. i prefer good honest food to fancy stuff arranged on a plate.


I kind of agree with you on that - presentation can certainly add to the whole experience of eating a meal but I don't always agree with what Michel Roux thinks is 'good' presentation.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

cutting up bits of veg or fruit that no-one eats is a waste of time IMO


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## N_igma (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> but it's pointless. i want to see cooking not fancy cake decorating.
> food is about taste, nor stupid garnishes



It matters in the world of fine dining and Michelin starred restaurants which is what Michel Roux Jnr is all about. This is Professional Masterchef not Come Dine With Me.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

they insist on it on the other masterchefs though.
i think it's a shame that an otherwise talented chef can fail cos s/he doesn't have certain skills that are nothing to do with cooking


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## N_igma (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> they insist on it on the other masterchefs though.
> i think it's a shame that an otherwise talented chef can fail cos s/he doesn't have certain skills that are nothing to do with cooking



I think you'll find that presentation _is_ an integral part of cooking in this respect. There's a big difference between a chef and a cook.


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> they insist on it on the other masterchefs though.
> i think it's a shame that an otherwise talented chef can fail cos s/he doesn't have certain skills that are nothing to do with cooking


I don't think that happens though - last year Shakey Dave got through to the final and he was often critisied for his presentation.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

N_igma said:


> I think you'll find that presentation _is_ an integral part of cooking in this respect. There's a big difference between a chef and a cook.


i think that's a shame. i'd rather eat a tasty bowl of brown slop than an artfully arranged bit of nouvelle cuisine.


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## N_igma (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> i think that's a shame. i'd rather eat a tasty bowl of brown slop than an artfully arranged bit of nouvelle cuisine.



Depends how each taste of course but a good combination of taste and presentation is better than one that is lacking the other.


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> i think that's a shame. i'd rather eat a tasty bowl of brown slop than an artfully arranged bit of nouvelle cuisine.


Well I would hope that the novelle cuisine would taste pretty good too! Basically of course the taste is the most important thing but presentation can add to the whole enjoyment.

We ate "meat fruit" the other day which was basically a chicken liver parfait (best I've ever eaten!) but the way it was presented was fantastic and just added that extra joy - or the "wow" factor as they like to keep saying on Mastechef!


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

i'm just jealous cos i know i can cook but i can't do presentation


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## tarannau (Nov 9, 2011)

Yes, but it's not called Eager, Amateur Homechef (with presentation issues)



(I can't do presentation for toffee either, but I do admire the skills)


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> i'm just jealous cos i know i can cook but i can't do presentation


That is something you can learn though, whereas to be a good cook you need a good sense of taste, especially for seasoning etc... which I don't think can be learnt (and which I don't really have)


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

yeah, but as i said, i think it's a waste of time. i'd rather learn to be a better cook.


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## Greebo (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> i'm just jealous cos i know i can cook but i can't do presentation


Well, that's better than being good at presentation but the food being inedible.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

quite!


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## tarannau (Nov 9, 2011)

By that level being a better cook is largely about presentation mind. Virtually any halfwit with an interest in cooking and some common sense can learn to cook things accurately.

I only loathe things where all the ponciness tends to get in the way of cooking things to their best advantage. Take the fillet steak in a Beef Wellington for example, often served overcooked even in some decent establishments.


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## Espresso (Nov 9, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> yeah, but as i said, i think it's a waste of time. i'd rather learn to be a better cook.



Yeah, but Professional Masterchef isn't designed for us plebs to learn things. If it was they'd give you recipes and show you every technique. Professional Masterchef - and ordinary Masterchef - is to promote the chefs in it and for the winner to have a soooper doooper thing to put on their cv.


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## Pinette (Nov 9, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> Monica is hot. It makes the hour worth watching.
> 
> I love the face pulling, it cracks me up.
> 
> Still can't decide about the new narrator, I miss Lisa. The constant time shift is also quite annoying.


I thought that Lisa sounded so much like the sat-nav lady in one of the 'Royle Family' specials (Golden Egg-Cup).  Perhaps she was.


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## purenarcotic (Nov 9, 2011)

Pinette said:


> I thought that Lisa sounded so much like the sat-nav lady in one of the 'Royle Family' specials (Golden Egg-Cup). Perhaps she was.



Haha I'm gonna have to rewatch that scene now and see if it is.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 9, 2011)

it's now sean pertwee isn't it? he does bare voiceovers


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## Espresso (Nov 9, 2011)

That's him. He always sounds like he's got a sore throat to me.
Though I hear that's alleged to be sexy, in voiceoverland.


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## spanglechick (Nov 9, 2011)

so shakey steve went yesterday 

this skill test seems a little more fair.


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Michel wasn't happy with theose burnt potatoes!


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## purenarcotic (Nov 9, 2011)

He wants more smoked salmon!


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 9, 2011)

Fish and grapes should never go together imo


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## purenarcotic (Nov 9, 2011)

I agree, I've never had it but the sound of it is quite off putting


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## zenie (Nov 9, 2011)

God I want some rabbit now  And beef wellington


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## Espresso (Nov 9, 2011)

You could make a bunny boot!


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## N_igma (Nov 9, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Michel wasn't happy with theose burnt potatoes!



Aye that was a killer look! I want yer boy Chris to win now, it'll be between him and Sebastian from the performances so far!


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 10, 2011)

Oli and Perry to go through for me!!


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## spanglechick (Nov 10, 2011)

the two smuggest ones got binned! hurrah!


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## Pseudopsycho (Nov 10, 2011)

Am now intrigued by coffee flavoured lamb...


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## Nine Bob Note (Nov 10, 2011)

Suprised Michel kicked the Frenchie off. Oh well, at least we got to see him taking his whites off afterwards. This series has been very low on nudity so far...


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 17, 2011)

Awww, Claire is so sweet. Glad she got through  Plus her cheesecake and chocolate sorbet dish looked wonderful.


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## wtfftw (Nov 17, 2011)

Yup. Supporting Claire thus far (and I do like Steve). I've forgotten the bunch from last week already - except Perry but only because Steve reminds me of him.


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## N_igma (Nov 17, 2011)

I like Claire but wish she would stop fucking crying every time she hands up a plate of food. Get a hold of yourself woman!

Steve is good too but reminds me of a spoilt wee brat! The two best deserved to go through! I'm liking the traditional set up of this Master Chef! Lets hope they don't change this one!


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## purenarcotic (Nov 18, 2011)

Just watched the repeat, I thought Claire did fantastically, the crying is slightly annoying to say the least but she must be bloody chuffed with Michel wanting to have her recipe for the chocolate sorbet.

Johnny's stew looked gorgeous, a real shame his dishes for the critics were so bad, the fish pie looked pretty awful I had to agree.


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## Santino (Nov 18, 2011)

Some great facial expressions from Michel yesterday.


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## articul8 (Nov 18, 2011)

How is fish pie ever going to be Michelin standard cooking?  Even a really good one is just gastropub fayre


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## Santino (Nov 18, 2011)

When you think about it, a Michelin standard fish pie is an oxymoron.


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## belboid (Nov 18, 2011)

Not seen last nights yet, so had to skip the last few comments.....

How many bleeding Wellingtons have people made as their classic?  Two an episode at least it seems.

And I hope that Saffer has got knocked out, every time she speaks I want to necklace her (and, frankly, a burning rubber tire would probably taste better than that fucking crappy fish witrh grape thing)


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## mrsfran (Nov 18, 2011)

The thing about sole veronique is that it is a good way to show you're a good chef - it's very easy to get it wrong.

I am enjoying this series so far, it's classic Masterchef. And the pursed-lips-popping-eyes facial expressions from Micky Rocks are being lavishly showcased.


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 18, 2011)

I am glad Steve went through (though I agree he was a little brattish in last night's show) as he kind of reminded me of what I can be like, sometimes, in auditions for plays. I know I can do it, everyone says I am very good and can do it, I get to the audition...and I don't do it !


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## Big Gunz (Nov 18, 2011)

Remind me how Greg Wallace (the greengrocer) got the gig again?  I swear he just wings it when it comes to the comments.


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## mrsfran (Nov 18, 2011)

Big Gunz said:


> Remind me how Greg Wallace (the greengrocer) got the gig again? I swear he just wings it when it comes to the comments.



He might as well just hold a sign saying "What he said".


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## belboid (Nov 18, 2011)

He's amiable, and quite funny. And there's nothing wrong with having someone who does literally know his onions. He's better than Torode


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## purenarcotic (Nov 18, 2011)

Big Gunz said:


> Remind me how Greg Wallace (the greengrocer) got the gig again? I swear he just wings it when it comes to the comments.



Because once upon a time he used to eat out every single night of the week.  He's just a glorified food critic really, but without an original opinion


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 18, 2011)

Big Gunz said:


> Remind me how Greg Wallace (the greengrocer) got the gig again? I swear he just wings it when it comes to the comments.


I admire how much he gets onto his fork, now that is my idea of tasting!


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## belboid (Nov 18, 2011)

What would be an original opinion about how food tastes?  None of them are really 'original,' they just have different degree's of ponciness


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## mrsfran (Nov 18, 2011)

One thing I do appreciate about having Greg there is that I don't get cross when Michel or Monica do some cooking and explain to him what they're doing as they go along. It drives me mental when two chefs present a programme and spend it explaining to each other about the food/cooking as if the other one didn't already know already.


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## purenarcotic (Nov 18, 2011)

I think Greg is there because he gives more a 'diner's' perspective plus his facial expressions are the best.


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## Santino (Nov 18, 2011)

He's the Everyman. The Watson to Roux's Holmes. The Sam Gamgee to Roux's Frodo. The Ringo to Roux's Rest of The Beatles.


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## purenarcotic (Nov 18, 2011)

For anybody who hasn't seen yet:


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## mrsfran (Nov 18, 2011)

There is no one who hasn't seen that yet.


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## purenarcotic (Nov 18, 2011)

mrsfran said:


> There is no one who hasn't seen that yet.



I would hope not, but you never know.  It never gets old,


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## _angel_ (Nov 18, 2011)

This is really dull isn't it? And I feel sorry for the contestants, with whatsihisname and whatsherface standing over them the entire time, scowling at everything they do.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 18, 2011)

mrsfran said:


> One thing I do appreciate about having Greg there is that I don't get cross when Michel or Monica do some cooking and explain to him what they're doing as they go along. It drives me mental when two chefs present a programme and spend it explaining to each other about the food/cooking as if the other one didn't already know already.


they're explaining it to us though


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## mrsfran (Nov 18, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> they're explaining it to us though



Yes, I'm aware of that. It's the pretence of explaining it to each other that irritates me. They can BOTH explain it to us.


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## maomao (Nov 18, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> I think Greg is there because he gives more a 'diner's' perspective plus his facial expressions are the best.



Yeah the other people on the show are all either insane perfectionists (Michel, Monica) or nasty arrogant pricks (Torode, all the food critics who taste the food). Gregg's there for a human perspective.


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## maomao (Nov 18, 2011)

mrsfran said:


> There is no one who hasn't seen that yet.



That wasn't true when you posted that.


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## pianissimo (Nov 18, 2011)

I like when they're tested by Monica.
She is awesome.
Her expressions are just priceless.


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## Pseudopsycho (Nov 18, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> For anybody who hasn't seen yet:



I waiting for a new one of these: they've said buttery quite a few times and my mind just goes "BASE"


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## purenarcotic (Nov 18, 2011)

Pseudopsycho said:


> I waiting for a new one of these: they've said buttery quite a few times and my mind just goes "BASE"



Haha me too, I'm also waiting for the innuendo countdown too, my current favourite of the series is 'he has a little thing for us in his fridge'


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## articul8 (Nov 18, 2011)

pianissimo said:


> I like when they're tested by Monica.
> She is awesome.
> Her expressions are just priceless.


If you look at the way it is edited I reckon they must film separate shots of Monica and Greg pulling faces ("appalled", "horrified", "surprised" etc.) and then edit them into the appropriate place when the chef does something odd.


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## strung out (Nov 18, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> Still can't decide about the new narrator, I miss Lisa.


do you mean India Fisher?


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## purenarcotic (Nov 18, 2011)

strung out said:


> do you mean India Fisher?



Yes, sorry, her.  Names aren't my strong point. > _ >


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## Pseudopsycho (Nov 18, 2011)

articul8 said:


> If you look at the way it is edited I reckon they must film separate shots of Monica and Greg pulling faces ("appalled", "horrified", "surprised" etc.) and then edit them into the appropriate place when the chef does something odd.


ah but the best faces a from a low camera angle when greg/,monica are behind the oblivious chef's back 

but can't find any of those so have a Monica collage:


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## QueenOfGoths (Nov 21, 2011)

There seems to be some rather good chefs this week. The stilton and apple tart looked great.


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## strung out (Nov 21, 2011)

yeah, the weakest dishes still had some pretty decent things said about them. i can't pick any obvious candidates to be kicked out yet, though there are some incredibly strong chefs too.


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## Orang Utan (Nov 24, 2011)

'i've just been kissed by an angel wearing 'obnail boots' - classic gregism


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## Orang Utan (Nov 24, 2011)

john's beard was unacceptable


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## N_igma (Nov 24, 2011)

I'd love those critics to cook _me_ a meal!


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## Nine Bob Note (Nov 25, 2011)

You'd eat something Family Guy had been in the same room as?


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## articul8 (Nov 25, 2011)

sponge cake in a pie?  No wonder he was that shape!


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## Nine Bob Note (Nov 25, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> john's beard was unacceptable



I think he was trying to create the illusion of a neck. Why didn't Monica tell _him_ to shave? Cheeky bitch.


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## Buddy Bradley (Nov 26, 2011)

strung out said:


> do you mean India Fisher?


What gets me is how Sean Pertwee is so obviously doing a bad India Fisher impersonation. He doesn't normally talk like that.


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## belboid (Nov 26, 2011)

caught the last two of this weeks, having missed ast weeks. does the leading candidate chef fuck up in every quarter final?  cos thry have in the two i've seen

And how many Wellingtons are we up to now?  At least five, even with missing half the show!


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## N_igma (Nov 26, 2011)

belboid said:


> And how many Wellingtons are we up to now? At least five, even with missing half the show!



The task was to make a classical meal, doesn't get more classical than a Wellington. Doubt we'll be seeing many more of them now we're past the cutting the wheat from the chaff stage.

I think your girl Kim is a looking strong for this, not many people can make all the critics happy with both dishes served and she done it.


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## wtfftw (Dec 5, 2011)

I would like to see Steve and Perry stand next to each other.


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## trashpony (Dec 5, 2011)

I watched this for the first time. It was more entertaining than I thought it would be


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## Pseudopsycho (Dec 6, 2011)

Shame about shaky Dave Alison but looks good for the restaurant rounds


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## QueenOfGoths (Dec 6, 2011)

wtfftw said:


> I would like to see Steve and Perry stand next to each other.


I do think they are the same person!


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## May Kasahara (Dec 6, 2011)

i so wish perry had gone instead of alison, he is very unlikable. also wish kim had gone just because i hate her face.

impressed that monica mentioned biscuit base last night


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## Espresso (Dec 6, 2011)

I though Olly looked really unwell in his heats. Glad to see him looking far less like a zombie last night. He's my pick, I reckon.

Alison was a nervous wreck and because of that I'm not surprised they didn't put her through. It's not all about the food, I reckon. Keeping a cool head must be a big thing for this type of cheffery.


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## trashpony (Dec 6, 2011)

Espresso said:


> Alison was a nervous wreck and because of that I'm not surprised they didn't put her through. It's not all about the food, I reckon. Keeping a cool head must be a big thing for this type of cheffery.



She looked like that nervous wreck woman Jackie from the amateur competition


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## Santino (Dec 6, 2011)

How come all those customers were French? I call shenanigans.


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## Espresso (Dec 6, 2011)

trashpony said:


> She looked like that nervous wreck woman Jackie from the amateur competition



She'd been to Thailand and was a vegetarian, you know.


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## QueenOfGoths (Dec 6, 2011)

Think Ash is doing well in this heat - that dish Perry was doing with all the piping was making my bits ache it looked so frustratingly difficult!


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## QueenOfGoths (Dec 6, 2011)

I don't really like it when they go head to head in pairs - what if two of them are brilliant and two are shit!

I like Perry's hair but tbh I am not fussed about either of them....they are no Shakey Dave!!


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

perry said 110% so he can fuck off.
i hate it when they say how much they want to win it.
can't they just cut that shit out?
i would love it if someone says 'to be honest, i'm not too fussed. i've still got a job and i've been on the telly. it's a win-win situation


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## trashpony (Dec 6, 2011)

Eugh - Ash is sweating into his food


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

that happens all the time. no biggy.


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## Espresso (Dec 6, 2011)

Ash is Danny Kaye's long lost grandson, I've decided.
The Chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.


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## trashpony (Dec 6, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> that happens all the time. no biggy.



It is to me  They should wear sweat bands (I suffered being splattered with my dad's sweat because he was a runner so I might be a bit biased against sweat)


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## Espresso (Dec 6, 2011)

It's probably why Monica gets her knickers in such a twist about correct seasoning.


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

trashpony said:


> It is to me  They should wear sweat bands (I suffered being splattered with my dad's sweat because he was a runner so I might be a bit biased against sweat)



you wouldn't know - a lot of the food you have eaten has been sweated into


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## trashpony (Dec 6, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> you wouldn't know - a lot of the food you have eaten has been sweated into


Yes, thanks. I am aware of that


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## QueenOfGoths (Dec 6, 2011)

I reckon Ash has got this in the bag - his dessert does look good


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## N_igma (Dec 6, 2011)

Ash has the whole competition in the bag, and he's likeable which is a bonus.


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## Espresso (Dec 6, 2011)

How jammy is Gregg Wallace to have landed that job? If I believed in reincarnation I'd want to come back as him.
Or maybe Mrs Michel Roux Jr.


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## DRINK? (Dec 6, 2011)

Very impressive.... Thought they would both go through though


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## FiFi (Dec 6, 2011)

trashpony said:


> I watched this for the first time. It was more entertaining than I thought it would be


I only started watching half way through this series and It's my new favorite.
I can't believe I missed it before!


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## mrs quoad (Dec 6, 2011)

What happens to the plates once Greg etc have eaten?

They seem to just kinda take it back. 

I'm well ganning for a nibble.


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## Orang Utan (Dec 6, 2011)

DRINK? said:


> Very impressive.... Thought they would both go through though


 why?


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## wayward bob (Dec 6, 2011)

wtfftw said:


> I would like to see Steve and Perry stand next to each other.



steve is waaaay better than perry  he has the skills  plus mesmerising eyes


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## BlueSquareThing (Dec 6, 2011)

mrs quoad said:


> What happens to the plates once Greg etc have eaten?
> 
> They seem to just kinda take it back.
> 
> I'm well ganning for a nibble.



The pudding ones I reckon Greg has back again.


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## Nine Bob Note (Dec 7, 2011)

I didn't like to see hairy sweaty boy (*insert non-urban heart throb smiley*) leave, but even I, the amateur Italian cook, could see his pasta looked more like shortcrust pastry, and his dessert as though it has been tipped out of various moulds.

That pro chef in the black overalls = cunt. Oh no, my little dots of shit that I won't even taste aren't evenly spaced - I'll never eat here again! Everything that is wrong with 'fine dining.' Pay through the nose for a plate of leaves, go home and make a sandwich.


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## DRINK? (Dec 7, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> why?



Why not? Probably happened a few too many times now I guess


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## hammerntongues (Dec 7, 2011)

DRINK? said:


> Why not? Probably happened a few too many times now I guess



One guy produces 2 flawless plates of food , the other had a far from perfect dessert , it was clear who was going to be shown the door wasn`t it ? I find the day in the restaurant a bit boring but it is only used as a decider if they are all equal in the kitchen ?


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## Orang Utan (Dec 7, 2011)

DRINK? said:


> Why not? Probably happened a few too many times now I guess


Because it's a competition


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## trashpony (Dec 7, 2011)

DRINK? said:


> Very impressive.... Thought they would both go through though


I think they have paired them deliberately - they pretty much knew Ash would go through and I reckon the bloke in the other pair (Steve?) is going to win over raw-potatoes-woman.

I prefer the 3 people final that they have in the amateur comp in some ways


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## belboid (Dec 7, 2011)

Ash was so clearly miles ahead, you had to feel a bit sorry for not awful Perry. But he never had a chance.

I hope the poor bugger didn't have to stand in earshot when Greg and Michel (sorry, Michel Roux Jr - the full name appears to be obligatory) were orgasming over Ash's food. How they could even pretend there was any decson to make after those comments, I dont know.


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## trashpony (Dec 7, 2011)

belboid said:


> Ash was so clearly miles ahead, you had to feel a bit sorry for not awful Perry. But he never had a chance.
> 
> I hope the poor bugger didn't have to stand in earshot when Greg and Michel (sorry, Michel Roux Jr - the full name appears to be obligatory) were orgasming over Ash's food. How they could even pretend there was any decson to make after those comments, I dont know.


I know! I felt a bit sorry for Perry at that point. Perry is way younger than Ash though - isn't Ash nearly 30? Perry looks about 14


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## Orang Utan (Dec 7, 2011)

Ash looks about 40


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## belboid (Dec 7, 2011)

mid-30's i thought.


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## g force (Dec 7, 2011)

Ash deserved that...amazing food. Also need someone to take me to Joel Rubuchon's place for some sort of event.


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## Hellsbells (Dec 7, 2011)

Ash's food look so beautiful. I love the way cooking and displaying your food can be like a work of art


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## mrsfran (Dec 7, 2011)

g force said:


> Ash deserved that...amazing food. Also need someone to take me to Joel Rubuchon's place for some sort of event.



I've been. It's quite unnerving sitting there as they prepare the food and then hand it to you. Have to admit that level of attention to detail makes me a bit itchy. I don't need my fennel cream dotted exactly 1cm apart all around the plate.


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## g force (Dec 7, 2011)

Well as a veggie their taster menu looked interesting but I need an 'occassion' to justify the prices!


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## mrsfran (Dec 7, 2011)

g force said:


> Well as a veggie their taster menu looked interesting but I need an 'occassion' to justify the prices!



There are deals on toptable all the time. 2 course lunch with matching wines for £32. http://www.toptable.com/venue/?id=4346


----------



## past caring (Dec 7, 2011)

trashpony said:


> I know! I felt a bit sorry for Perry at that point. Perry is way younger than Ash though - isn't Ash nearly 30? Perry looks about 14



Perry could have fitted a 3rd eyebrow in between the two he had. Some fucking well wierd shaving thing going on there.


----------



## N_igma (Dec 7, 2011)

hammerntongues said:


> I find the day in the restaurant a bit boring but it is only used as a decider if they are all equal in the kitchen ?



Nah it's used all the time, in the normal one too. I don't really like it either, or the cooking for 1,000 soldiers at an army camp challenge etc etc. Just get in the fucking kitchen, cook a meal and let the judges taste.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 7, 2011)

It's now at the stage where we've had to watch so much it's becoming a bit of a slog, which I find always happens at this stage of the series.

Still wouldn't miss an episode, but sort of wish we could know who the winner is now please.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 7, 2011)

they're taking the piece of piss in that restaurant. there was only 3 bits of pasta in one of the dishes.


----------



## Espresso (Dec 7, 2011)

What more do you want for a hundred and fifty knicker?


----------



## spanglechick (Dec 7, 2011)

it's a tasting menu. you'd be sick if you ate nine full-sized courses.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

MORE girolles ffs


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

if chef thinks that's attractive presentation he needs his head examining


----------



## Espresso (Dec 7, 2011)

That looks rotten. I like all the things in it, but even so, it looks awful.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 7, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> MORE girolles ffs



Mental isn't it.  It's a bit like chocolate fondants, no more ever please.

What's with all the savoury jellies everywhere as well, urgh, no thanks.


----------



## Espresso (Dec 7, 2011)

I quite like the savoury jelly you get in a pork pie or in pessed tongue. Never had any other sort. It always looks a bit, well, weird when they just have cubes of it on a plate, or there, using it as a wrapping.
Something tells me that I'm not cut out for fine dining.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 7, 2011)

The jelly in pork pie makes my stomach churn.

I have successfully avoided all savoury jellies when eating in fine dining places.  Would never order a dish with one on, eww eww ewww


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

how fucking big is a halibut???


----------



## Santino (Dec 7, 2011)

She doesn't need to cook all that fish. She's only doing it for the halibut.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 7, 2011)

Not a surprise at all, predicted that from the beginning.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

i'm surprised, i reckoned kim would go through. cos, clearly, steve's gonna cane claire's ass


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 7, 2011)

I really like Claire, I think she's incredible for a 20 year old literally just out of college.

I hope she makes it. *crosses everything*


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 7, 2011)

she's a robot


----------



## trashpony (Dec 7, 2011)

Yeah but her hair is a really nice colour


----------



## strung out (Dec 7, 2011)

I'd like to go out with her


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 7, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> she's a robot



You're a robot.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

trashpony said:


> Yeah but her hair is a really nice colour



lilac hair takes massive upkeep  tbh i'd question her _passion_ for masterchef if she can be arsed with all that malarky


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 7, 2011)

it looks silver grey to me. hence the robot comment.
an anime character at the very least.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

she's lovely  but steve's clearly gonna win


----------



## trashpony (Dec 7, 2011)

Who's going to win the whole thing then? So far, my money's on sweaty Ash


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

steve. obviously


----------



## May Kasahara (Dec 7, 2011)

forgot to mention last night, ash's food caused mr k to uncharacteristically announce 'i would shag that plate'.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 7, 2011)

May Kasahara said:


> forgot to mention last night, ash's food caused mr k to uncharacteristically announce 'i would shag that plate'.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Dec 7, 2011)

that was so rubbish. greg just mentioned biscuit base, same as monika did on monday...

talk about overdoing a joke....


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

me and mr bob have an _interesting_ bet on tonight's outcome  steve had better fucking come through for me now


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

come on steve


----------



## Santino (Dec 8, 2011)

I think they'll both go through.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Dec 8, 2011)

So, Bob, we need to know why we're rooting for Kiddy Steve instead of Animechef...


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Claire all the way.  She is smashing it.


----------



## Big Gunz (Dec 8, 2011)

Claire is cute in a pixie way.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

i thought emulsion was something you put on walls


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

I think considering that she is literally just out of college she is incredibly talented.


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Dec 8, 2011)

and she's cute as a button which helps


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 8, 2011)

i want claire to win. steve's got one of those faces that you just want to slap and make cry.


----------



## Santino (Dec 8, 2011)

She can prepare my signature dish any time she likes.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

The Goth household is rooting for Clare...except Mr. Kippers cat who is considering climbing on the DVD cabinet


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

She has stopped looking like she's about to cry every 20 seconds too which is a huge bonus.


----------



## N_igma (Dec 8, 2011)

I want her to win too but I wish she would stop fucking crying!


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Dec 8, 2011)

It's not looking good for Steve is it  C'mon Bob, what you got to do?


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

wtf is going on? claire hasn't cried _once _yet_._


----------



## Big Gunz (Dec 8, 2011)

Gonna be hard to seperate those two but maybe Claire shaded that round.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

Santino said:


> I think they'll both go through.



yeah, me too


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> The Goth household is rooting for Clare...except Mr. Kippers cat who is considering climbing on the DVD cabinet



Our cat is conducting an illict affair with the reflection of herself in the TV cabinet.  It's very sweet, it's the only cat she's ever shown affection for.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Dec 8, 2011)

We had to shut our cat out as she was attacking the TV to get at the food


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Brilliant


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

_massive_ menu fail claire


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

Awww Clare is so sweet


----------



## Paulie Tandoori (Dec 8, 2011)

Pseudopsycho said:


> We had to shut our cat out as she was attacking the TV to get at the food


i just had to do the same to the missus


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> _massive_ menu fail claire


I think Clare and Steve should go out together, they'd make a good couple


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 8, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> yeah, me too


eh? that can't happen. it's a semi-final!


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

Paulie Tandoori said:


> i just had to do the same to the missus


That made me laugh a lot


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Steve's face is so annoying.  His teeth are too big.


----------



## Big Gunz (Dec 8, 2011)

N_igma said:


> I want her to win too but I wish she would stop fucking crying!



Ah she's so cute I'd give her a hug better anytime.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 8, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> Steve's face is so annoying. His teeth are too big.



he looks like a startled llama


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> he looks like a startled llama


 
Haha I just spat coffee out everywhere.


----------



## Santino (Dec 8, 2011)

I like how Steve's voice is still breaking.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Hahahaha Steve is going to 'go home' over a sorbet.

I love how this show breaks people. Anybody remember last year when that bald chef cried in front of the critics?


----------



## 8115 (Dec 8, 2011)

What's with all the ravey music this week?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

If I was Steve I think I'd have been "Oh, yeah thanks Michel...not fuck off and let me get on with things!!" about the sorbet


----------



## Santino (Dec 8, 2011)

Whereas a lot of the background music used to be ripped off of The Matrix soundtrack, now it's ripped off of Inception.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

Steve could be pulling it back a bit here!


----------



## strung out (Dec 8, 2011)

8115 said:


> What's with all the ravey music this week?


They have really inappropriate ravey music every week


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Well played Steve, come on Claire, you've gotta do a stirling job now.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Dec 8, 2011)

strung out said:


> They have really inappropriate ravey music every week


That's half the fun, keeping an ear out for DnB tracks  Once had several urbanites bouncing around the living room with the 'chef cranked right up


----------



## 8115 (Dec 8, 2011)

strung out said:


> They have really inappropriate ravey music every week



I'm watching a different tv to normal, I think that's what's made me notice it. Actually I quite liked it. I'm confused. What stage of the competition are they at? It's been going on for months.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Dec 8, 2011)

Semi-final week


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Wayhey she pulled it off.


----------



## Big Gunz (Dec 8, 2011)

I think Claire smashed it there!


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

Clare now pulling it back!! This is a tough one - can they get rid of Oli from last night (sorry Oli!) and have both Steve and Clare


----------



## N_igma (Dec 8, 2011)

Fix.


----------



## starfish (Dec 8, 2011)

They put the 2 chefs through at this stage a couple of series ago so they could do it again.


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Dec 8, 2011)

Both of them


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 8, 2011)

WHAT


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 8, 2011)

woohoo!!!!


----------



## Big Gunz (Dec 8, 2011)

Would have went for Claire as she took more of a risk with her menu.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Was that Gregg's lip trembling before he announced the winner?

Claire to win overall.


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 8, 2011)

Greg looked like he was nearly in tears.


----------



## souljacker (Dec 8, 2011)

What a cop out!


----------



## Santino (Dec 8, 2011)

Santino said:


> I think they'll both go through.


Oh yeah.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

fucking continuity announcer. _massive_ fucking spoiler  cow


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

Santino said:


> Oh yeah.



you heard the continuity announcer same as we did


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 8, 2011)

Hahaha Michel: 'Monica is out there and she looks FIERCE' too damn right Michel


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Dec 8, 2011)

Hurray!!! That pleases me


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

all bets are off


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 8, 2011)

that was such a shitty ending. what a pair of cunts. that's not fair!


----------



## Santino (Dec 8, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> you heard the continuity announcer same as we did


Hush, you.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 8, 2011)

thank god i'd paused it go get my tea. did they let on who won?


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

she said "3 finalists become 4"


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 8, 2011)

but we knew that already


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 8, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> she said "3 finalists become 4"


Round ours, we didn't know how many there were to start with. Or that there were only meant to be three. 

Ignorance makes us spoilproof.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> but we knew that already



nah. there were two finalists already decided - ollie and ash - steve and claire were supposedly competing for the third-and-last finalist place.


----------



## past caring (Dec 8, 2011)

Eh? She only said that _after_ they'd said they were putting them both through.

Anyway, rooting for Claire 'cos I'd like to do her up the arse.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 8, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> nah. there were two finalists already decided - ollie and ash - steve and claire were supposedly competing for the third-and-last finalist place.


oh, you mean the announcer at the _beginning_ of the programme.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> oh, you mean the announcer at the _beginning_ of the programme.



yup


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)

past caring said:


> Eh? She only said that _after_ they'd said they were putting them both through.
> 
> Anyway, rooting for Claire 'cos I'd like to do her up the arse.



you just like seeing her cry


----------



## past caring (Dec 8, 2011)

I was still doing me own masterchef at the beginning.....


----------



## past caring (Dec 8, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> you just like seeing her cry



Chocolate soil.


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 8, 2011)




----------



## starfish (Dec 8, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> you heard the continuity announcer same as we did



Did she really say it. Missed the beginning so didnt hear. Bit of a fuck up to say the least then.


----------



## wtfftw (Dec 9, 2011)

I've caught up now. Claire and Steve are my favourites so I'm glad they're both through.


----------



## Espresso (Dec 9, 2011)

starfish said:


> Did she really say it. Missed the beginning so didnt hear. Bit of a fuck up to say the least then.



She bloody did, the gargantuan twonk.
I was pretty narked, to say the least. Hope she gets her act together before the final programme, else she'll be saying "And now, here's Ash being crowned the winner of this year's Masterchef: The Professionals"


----------



## callumgilhooly (Dec 10, 2011)

I just met Steve. Really nice chap.  It turns out his parents live in my town (a very small Devon Market town). He wouldn't let on the result but he may be out for drinks tonight so I'll press him further


----------



## wayward bob (Dec 10, 2011)

callumgilhooly said:


> I just met Steve. Really nice chap. It turns out his parents live in my town (a very small Devon Market town). He wouldn't let on the result but he may be out for drinks tonight so I'll press him further



tell him the internet loves him  oh and tell him if he doesn't win he owes me  (bet carried over )


----------



## articul8 (Dec 11, 2011)

past caring said:


> Anyway, rooting for Claire 'cos I'd like to do her up the arse.



That was my logic for the blonde lass that got booted out


----------



## belboid (Dec 12, 2011)

yay, it's another wellington!


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 12, 2011)

Final week (woohoo!).

Claire's not started off bad, hope she makes it through.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 12, 2011)

I never want to see another wellington in my life, and I've not even had to eat the buggers.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 12, 2011)

And another ballotine


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 12, 2011)

Blimey, Ash has smashed that.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 12, 2011)

Gah another fucking ballotine.


----------



## belboid (Dec 12, 2011)

looking bad for Oli


----------



## strung out (Dec 12, 2011)

had to be oli really, the other three are stars, whereas he's just very good


----------



## trashpony (Dec 12, 2011)

I suspect Ash is a shoe-in. Am I the only person who thinks that Steve looks like Pob?


----------



## gosub (Dec 12, 2011)

strung out said:


> had to be oli really, the other three are stars, whereas he's just very good



bit of a pisser for him though, having won his semi final, bet you he rang his mum and everything


----------



## Espresso (Dec 12, 2011)

That's true. You'd be forgiven for thinking that winning your semi final would mean you were in the final. He must feel like he's been proper swizzed.
Poor Oli.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 12, 2011)

he was in the final!


----------



## Espresso (Dec 12, 2011)

Weeeeell. Only kinda sorta.
Not the real and proper final where they get sent to somewhere foreign and so completely outlandishly reputable that the waiting lists are longer than Oli and Claire have been alive for.
Swizzed.

Though the BBC could save on the airfares for all of them and the crew and just give the title to Ash now.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 12, 2011)

this week is the final over four programmes. he's the first to be knocked out of it. i'm sure he was aware of it, so i doubt he'll feel swizzed.


----------



## belboid (Dec 12, 2011)

trashpony said:


> Am I the only person who thinks that Steve looks like Pob?


??? he looks nowt like Michael Gove.



Orang Utan said:


> this week is the final over four programmes.


no it isnt


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 12, 2011)

pretty sure it is. today's was 21 out of 24 programmes


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 12, 2011)

yep:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00mx9xb/broadcasts/upcoming


----------



## gosub (Dec 13, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> this week is the final over four programmes. he's the first to be knocked out of it. i'm sure he was aware of it, so i doubt he'll feel swizzed.



But the remaining 3 will All be assessed over their performance in All remaining programs during which they get money can't buy training and contact making..


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

well he should have been better!


----------



## gosub (Dec 13, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> well he should have been better!


Better than winning a semi final in order to be in a final  an approach that could make the Olympics undull


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

i don't see what the fuss is about. that's how it works. makes for exciting telly. thems the rules.


----------



## gosub (Dec 13, 2011)

They admitted they changed the rules. And it wasn't exciting guessed oli's number was up at beginning of task. Bit unfair and whilst tis entertainment to you or me it's the blokes career


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

why is it unfair?


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Dec 13, 2011)

trashpony said:


> I suspect Ash is a shoe-in. Am I the only person who thinks that Steve looks like Pob?



Very true. And Claire looks like Daisy duck. Try going "wackwackwackwackwack..." every time she runs to a fridge. It'll enhance your Masterchef viewing experience no end...


----------



## belboid (Dec 13, 2011)

pedantically...

 it isn't the final, it's the final week.  the final is something long since pre-agreed because they have had to pre-book the restaurants everyone goes to train in long in advance, and you can't just wing an extra place at nomo at a moments notice, even if you're masterchef.  no one else gets knocked out, whoever went today misses the experience they were told they _would_ get in the final.

it's not really unfair on oli, had he been drawn against any of the other three in his semi, he'd have been out 'fairly,' even tho they were better than him.  which would surely be more unfair


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

Steve has very annoying hair


----------



## Espresso (Dec 13, 2011)

That apricot business was fairly bonkers.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

Willy wonka shit


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 13, 2011)

It's insane some of the shit they come up with.  To take glass blowing techniques and apply them to sugar work is genius.

The thing with the wine was a bit wanky pretentious.


----------



## stethoscope (Dec 13, 2011)

It looks like an apricot, it tastes like an apricot, but....

Mental.


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 13, 2011)

Did anybody see in the montage when they were pouring something from a bottle and as they poured it seemed to freeze into a tower.

Fucking love it.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

Why are they bothering to subtitle the brothers? Or some of their speech but not all of it?


----------



## Espresso (Dec 13, 2011)

Can I marry one of the Rocca brothers, please? I don't even care which one, they are all so lovely and twinkly.


----------



## IC3D (Dec 13, 2011)

Espresso said:


> Can I marry one of the Rocca brothers, please? I don't even care which one, they are all so lovely and twinkly.


If you do get them to work on their English accent


----------



## stethoscope (Dec 13, 2011)

Ash and Claire done well. I thought Steve was going to fuck that up, but looks like he's pulled it off.


----------



## spanglechick (Dec 13, 2011)

one of steve's apricots was burnt! chef michel would have had his arse for that!


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

IC3D said:


> If you do get them to work on their English accent


It's a Spanish accent


----------



## Espresso (Dec 13, 2011)

How would one go about eating that squiddy thing with the clingfilm?
I bet dimbos like me would try and eat the bloody clingfilm.


----------



## souljacker (Dec 13, 2011)

If someone served me my dinner on cling film, I think I'd have to have words.


----------



## stethoscope (Dec 13, 2011)

It's like a laboratory, not a kitchen!


----------



## IC3D (Dec 13, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> It's a Spanish accent


I think their trying to speak English!


----------



## Hellsbells (Dec 13, 2011)

yeah the clingfilm dish is riddiculous. Are you meant to pick it up with your fingers  I can imagine trying to eat it with a knife and fork and accidently piercing the cling film and then all the food falling into bowl of paprika.


----------



## souljacker (Dec 13, 2011)

A sugar cloud! Ha ha, fuck off, it's fucking candy floss you muppets.


----------



## IC3D (Dec 13, 2011)

souljacker said:


> A sugar cloud! Ha ha, fuck off, it's fucking candy floss you muppets.


Would sir kindly leave you're upsetting the other customerzz


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

IC3D said:


> I think their trying to speak English!


Yes, in a Spanish accent. Though the older guy is speaking Spanish. Though their English is perfectly understandable


----------



## souljacker (Dec 13, 2011)

IC3D said:


> Would sir kindly leave you're upsetting the other customerzz



Yeah right, I'll just float off on my fucking sugar cloud.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

Espresso said:


> How would one go about eating that squiddy thing with the clingfilm?
> I bet dimbos like me would try and eat the bloody clingfilm.


I'd just slurp it with my mouth


----------



## Espresso (Dec 13, 2011)

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Gregg Wallace is one jammy, jammy git.


----------



## Hellsbells (Dec 13, 2011)

well i guess we'll find out now (re the cling film dilemma!)


----------



## IC3D (Dec 13, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> Yes, in a Spanish accent. Though the older guy is speaking Spanish. Though their English is perfectly understandable


Yes I know it is, is this dish a bong !!


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

Wow, this lamb thing looks ace


----------



## trashpony (Dec 13, 2011)

I've decided I'm going to save up and go and eat at this restaurant. It looks fucking incredible


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 13, 2011)

I love the expression on the beardy brother's face when he's cooking - like he's conducting an orchestra


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 13, 2011)

I've never seen Michel make so many ooos and ahhs and giggle.  Brilliant.


----------



## N_igma (Dec 13, 2011)

trashpony said:


> I've decided I'm going to save up and go and eat at this restaurant. It looks fucking incredible



I stayed about 15 miles from Girona in Easter. Fuck if I had of known then!


----------



## Espresso (Dec 13, 2011)

I see that Wallace git has got neither the palate nor the vocabulary to recognise what he's eating. Jammy, jammy, jammy.


----------



## trashpony (Dec 13, 2011)

Espresso said:


> I see that Wallace git has got neither the palate nor the vocabulary to recognise what he's eating. Jammy, jammy, jammy.


I'm not sure I would have either. But I still want to go


----------



## Espresso (Dec 13, 2011)

trashpony said:


> I'm not sure I would have either. But I still want to go



Yeah, but you're not a blinking judge on Masterchef, are you?*
It's alright for ordinaries like us to not be able to tell, of course.

Mind, if you do save up your money and go, make sure you invite me. Or as a second choice, come on here and tell us all about it with loads of photos.

*Unless that's you, Monica?


----------



## mitochondria (Dec 13, 2011)

Espresso said:


> I see that Wallace git has got neither the palate nor the vocabulary to recognise what he's eating. Jammy, jammy, jammy.



Gregg is there for the people.


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 14, 2011)

souljacker said:


> If someone served me my dinner on cling film, I think I'd have to have words.


BURNT cling film, too!


----------



## Kanda (Dec 14, 2011)

trashpony said:


> I've decided I'm going to save up and go and eat at this restaurant. It looks fucking incredible



125 Euros for tasting menu: http://www.cellercanroca.com/CUINA/menus_2.htm


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 14, 2011)

That's not actually as expensive as I thought.


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 14, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> That's not actually as expensive as I thought.


We were looking last night, too


----------



## purenarcotic (Dec 14, 2011)

mrs quoad said:


> We were looking last night, too



That'd be one hell of an urbanite meet.


----------



## trashpony (Dec 14, 2011)

Kanda said:


> 125 Euros for tasting menu: http://www.cellercanroca.com/CUINA/menus_2.htm


I think that seems like quite a bargain


----------



## trashpony (Dec 14, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> That'd be one hell of an urbanite meet.


That would be brilliant - the urban gourmands club


----------



## Pseudopsycho (Dec 14, 2011)

Should go for the feast menu though...


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Dec 14, 2011)

trashpony said:


> That would be brilliant - the urban gourmands club



There should be a thread at least. The Fat Duck thread was a quality bunfight.


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## stethoscope (Dec 14, 2011)

Gosh, that was tense viewing! They all did really well, but especially Ash under such pressure I thought.


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## wayward bob (Dec 14, 2011)

i don't _want_ ash to win :stamps foot: not least cos the bet goes unresolved then 

edit: ash gave himself far too much to do. steve was the one helping everyone plate up, i noticed


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## stethoscope (Dec 14, 2011)

Still want Steve to win tho'


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## purenarcotic (Dec 14, 2011)

Claire all the way.  Her food may not be to everybody's taste but it's incredible imagination.

They'll all have got themselves jammy jobs in top kitchens anyway so at least for those who lose it isn't the end of the road or anything.


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## wayward bob (Dec 14, 2011)

can't say i fancied the asparagus/rhubarb/panacotta creation or the curried raw scallops & apricots


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## N_igma (Dec 14, 2011)

Ash to win this by a country mile.


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## mrsfran (Dec 14, 2011)

I've been to Pearl 

At the Taste festival a couple of years ago I had scallops with a crunchy curried dressing, it was really good. Scallops and curry are good. Not so sure about the apricots though, but she clearly thinks a lot about her food so I'd love to try it.

I think Ash is probably the most in-tune-with-the-times chef, he's very much making the kind of food that's being served in high-end restaurants right now. That doesn't necessarily endear him to me though. I like him but I think his food could date quickly.

I like Steve but I don't think his desert was very inspired today.

If any of them came round to my house though, I wouldn't kick them out


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## Nine Bob Note (Dec 14, 2011)

How have we got this far without nicknames? No Shaky Dave, Woodland Chris, Jackie "I went to Thailand" Somethingorother etc...

Easily the best series of Masterchef so far. Don't think I can go back to just Toady and the Pudding Monster for the regular/junior/celebrity shows


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## mrsfran (Dec 14, 2011)

I think we could manage "Weirdly Far Apart Eyebrows Steve".


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## spanglechick (Dec 14, 2011)

startled steve, manga clare?


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## Espresso (Dec 14, 2011)

Danny Kaye's Long Lost Grandson Ash.
A trifle on the lengthy side for a nickname, admittedly.


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## Nine Bob Note (Dec 14, 2011)

Is someone gonna do a poll then, or do I have to make the effort?

Ash: Stressed, yet safe and reliable. Let's face it, we all think he's boring and no one wants him to win.
Claire: Inventive. Some commentators would like to do her up the arse.
Steve: More Inventive. Cute, but looks like pob. Eyebrows remarkable.


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## Hellsbells (Dec 15, 2011)

i like Steve's hedgehog hair.


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## Orangesanlemons (Dec 15, 2011)

Duckface Claire staged at Roganic just before Masterchef, and you can really see the influence in her food.
I like her a lot, but Ash wins this all day long imo.


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## trashpony (Dec 15, 2011)

Orangesanlemons said:


> Duckface Claire staged at Roganic just before Masterchef, and you can really see the influence in her food.
> I like her a lot, but Ash wins this all day long imo.


WTF does staged mean?


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## Dan U (Dec 15, 2011)

Yeah my money is on Ash 

My Mrs is in love with him. Bloody australians 

Really enjoyed this series, not watched a professionals one before. It's worth it just for Michel Rouxs facial expressions and all round niceness


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## Dan U (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm off to tom kerridges pub in January BTW. I hope his Sunday lunch is as good as his belly


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## QueenOfGoths (Dec 15, 2011)

Dan U said:


> I'm off to tom kerridges pub in January BTW. I hope his Sunday lunch is as good as his belly


We've eaten there, it's great!I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Have missed all this weeks progammes with being away but will watch tonight. I am rooting for Claire but think Ash is the main contender.


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## stethoscope (Dec 15, 2011)

trashpony said:


> WTF does staged mean?



It's when a chef works in another more established chef's kitchen for a short time and for free to learn and gain experience in techniques, etc.


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## Fruitloop (Dec 15, 2011)

trashpony said:


> WTF does staged mean?



A stage is where you go and cook in a kitchen but don't really work there.


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## trashpony (Dec 15, 2011)

Thanks


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## Dan U (Dec 15, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> We've eaten there, it's great!I don't think you'll be disappointed.
> 
> Have missed all this weeks progammes with being away but will watch tonight. I am rooting for Claire but think Ash is the main contender.



great stuff!

i am looking foward to it


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## la ressistance (Dec 15, 2011)

Orangesanlemons said:


> Duckface Claire staged at Roganic just before Masterchef, and you can really see the influence in her food.
> I like her a lot, but Ash wins this all day long imo.


i never knew that. ben spalding is a bloody good chef to stage for.


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

anyone else finding it impossible to stream online?


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

Ash comes across as an absolutely lovely bloke I have to say.  Still rooting for Claire though.

Less blurb about their life, more cooking!


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

more fucking pictures  all i'm getting is audio


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

ipad to the rescue


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

I love how in the previous couple of episodes, the music switched to classical and violins and no synths and now we're back in the studio the ravey music is back on.


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

wtf is she doing with those twigs?


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

twigs AND cling film. can't go wrong


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

Michel might explode with excitement in a minute.


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

all 3 are great chefs, like to see 1 of the youngsters win it


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

I love all this fad of serving stuff on slates, black slate is so beautiful.


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

bet ash  is bookies favourite


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## freshnero (Dec 15, 2011)

Best show on the TV 

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

oh dear, greg didn't like steves vanilla sauce on the duck


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

Ash's starter is right up my street, he can come and cook that for me any day.


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

mmm claires starter looks nice


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 15, 2011)

Ash is the winner by fucking miles.

The other two are top notch, but Ash is in another league altogether. That Roux fella seemed to be suggesting that Ash was doing shit that he couldn't manage himself.


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## DJ Squelch (Dec 15, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> Ash's starter is right up my street, he can come and cook that for me any day.



yep, that monkfish looked lush.

It's gotta be in the bag for Ash after those comments.


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## trashpony (Dec 15, 2011)

Claire is the most inventive but she might be a bit too bonkers


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

looks like claire might pull it off


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## DJ Squelch (Dec 15, 2011)

I don't want a piece of tin foil on my pudding.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 15, 2011)

All 3 of them are better than many of the past winners imo.

Still, Ash is the winner.


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## trashpony (Dec 15, 2011)

No I think Ash will have it, his cooking was faultless. I think you could eat the tinfoil stuff


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## QueenOfGoths (Dec 15, 2011)

Mmmm...tricky as I thought Clare's menu sounded the best, or at least the one I would choose, but I think Ash may have it.


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

claire is very imaginitve where ash is a bit tried and tested


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## la ressistance (Dec 15, 2011)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Mmmm...tricky as I thought Clare's menu sounded the best, or at least the one I would choose, but I think Ash may have it.


i agree.


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## craigxcraig (Dec 15, 2011)

Ash, faultless throughout - he's won...


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

looks like ash has it...


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## Jeff Robinson (Dec 15, 2011)

Ash!


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## craigxcraig (Dec 15, 2011)

Worthy winner, all were good - ash a notch above.


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## Big Gunz (Dec 15, 2011)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Ash is the winner by fucking miles.
> 
> The other two are top notch, but Ash is in another league altogether. That Roux fella seemed to be suggesting that Ash was doing shit that he couldn't manage himself.



Good call.


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## Santino (Dec 15, 2011)

A-booo


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

boooo hissss


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

No surprise there then.

Ah well, they'll all do great for themselves in the end no doubt.


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## r0bb0 (Dec 15, 2011)

great show, any1 know where i can get the music?


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## N_igma (Dec 15, 2011)

How can anyone say he didn't deserve to win? He never put a step wrong the whole competition. Even that segment where they focus on the good and bad points, they only bad thing they could say was he paniced a bit but slap my arse and call me Sally isn't a Chef's kitchen a high octance environment?

Sad to see the end of the show, was the best one yet.


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

DJ Squelch said:


> I don't want a piece of tin foil on my pudding.



It's edible silver leaf, same as edible gold leaf.  Just incredibly thin sheets of gold / silver that can be digested by the stomach.

No tin foil in sight in fine dining presentation!


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## wtfftw (Dec 15, 2011)

wayward bob said:


> boooo hissss


unresolved bet. 

I'm hungry now.


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## Santino (Dec 15, 2011)

N_igma said:


> How can anyone say he didn't deserve to win? He never put a step wrong the whole competition. Even that segment where they focus on the good and bad points, they only bad thing they could say was he paniced a bit but slap my arse and call me Sally isn't a Chef's kitchen a high octance environment?
> 
> Sad to see the end of the show, was the best one yet.


It was poor television. 'Here's a good chef. He cooks well, consistently. Oh, he's won.'

There was no JOURNEY!


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## N_igma (Dec 15, 2011)

Santino said:


> There was no JOURNEY!



Don't stop believing mate.


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## DJ Squelch (Dec 15, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> It's edible silver leaf, same as edible gold leaf. Just incredibly thin sheets of gold / silver that can be digested by the stomach.
> 
> No tin foil in sight in fine dining presentation!



Yeah I know, they said but it still LOOKS like a piece of tin foil which I'd find off putting.

BTW does anyone know how long ago tin foil was actually made of Tin?


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## stethoscope (Dec 15, 2011)

Although I've wanted Steve to win pretty much since the beginning, I think Ash did really deserve it. They'll all do well out of it anyway.


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

wtfftw said:


> unresolved bet.



i think it just means we take it turns to tie each other up


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## wayward bob (Dec 15, 2011)

N_igma said:


> How can anyone say he didn't deserve to win?



he was boring  AND australian


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## purenarcotic (Dec 15, 2011)

DJ Squelch said:


> Yeah I know, they said but it still LOOKS like a piece of tin foil which I'd find off putting.
> 
> BTW does anyone know how long ago tin foil was actually made of Tin?



According to Wikipedia, aluminium was first introduced as foil in 1910, tin was used from the late 19th century to the mid 20th.


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## DJ Squelch (Dec 15, 2011)

Well thank you, now I know. I love that everyone still calls it tinfoil.


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## BlueSquareThing (Dec 16, 2011)

Santino said:


> It was poor television. 'Here's a good chef. He cooks well, consistently. Oh, he's won.'
> 
> There was no JOURNEY!



Sure there was - he was a canape chef or something wasn't he?  Doing corporate catering or something? And now he knows he can do a hell of a lot better than that. I think...

Reckon it all came down the taste and Ash producing food that chefs like that tastes just great. I'd eat his food any day. Claire's is obviously a bit more out there on the edge - she could be the real star out of this.

Is it just me, or would any of this three won any other years competition?


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## craigxcraig (Dec 16, 2011)

for me Ash just came across a lot better, more calm and focussed. Claire and Steve, whilst excellent chefs imo were a few years behind Ash in terms of experience.


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## Dan U (Dec 16, 2011)

really pleased for all of them tbh.

Mrs was squealing when Ash won. She was born in Tasmania and grew up in Victoria, like a reverse of him.
Shame neither of us can cook like him 

I'd quite like to go to La Gavroche now after watching Michel all these weeks but better save those pennies...


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## Buddy Bradley (Dec 16, 2011)

Rather predictable result - shame Pob didn't win as his final dish seemed a bit better, but Ash pretty much had it in the bag from Day 1. Wouldn't be surprised to hear Roux had hired him.


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## mrsfran (Dec 16, 2011)

Dan U said:


> really pleased for all of them tbh.
> 
> Mrs was squealing when Ash won. She was born in Tasmania and grew up in Victoria, like a reverse of him.
> Shame neither of us can cook like him
> ...



I've been, it's worth it


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## Dan U (Dec 16, 2011)

yep that might be our next food based treat after Hand & Flowers next month.


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## mrsfran (Dec 16, 2011)

They do a lunch deal for £50, which while it's still expensive, isn't costs-the-same-as-a-weekend-away expensive.


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## purenarcotic (Dec 16, 2011)

I'm really liking that a lot of the michelin star establishments are doing pretty reasonable lunch deals, makes it an actual reality you can save up for as opposed to a distant dream.


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## Dan U (Dec 16, 2011)

mrsfran said:


> They do a lunch deal for £50, which while it's still expensive, isn't costs-the-same-as-a-weekend-away expensive.



yeah i think lunch is probably the way to go, although i have done the full tasting menu business at Marcus Wareing and it was a great experience

The Ledbury's lunch menu is supposed to be good value, might check that out at some point as well. I think its about £30/£35 for lunch. If you don't rinse the wine thats not bad.


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## gosub (Dec 16, 2011)

Got tasting menu meals for both Wishart and Kitchin as weeding pressies still haven't used them yet something to look forward to in the New Year, both only a five minute walk away. Shall have to look at Plumed Horse as a wifes burfday pressie


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## g force (Dec 16, 2011)

Nice they were cooking in Pearl for the finals - prob my fav restaurant in London.


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## billy_bob (Dec 17, 2011)

Santino said:


> It was poor television. 'Here's a good chef. He cooks well, consistently. Oh, he's won.'
> 
> There was no JOURNEY!



Good chef in "deserves to win good chef competition and does" shocker, you mean?  What you're talking about isn't journey, it's false jeopardy. How would you make it better television - by artificially marking him down to make the outcome seem more in doubt?


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## Santino (Dec 17, 2011)

billy_bob said:


> How would you make it better television - by artificially marking him down to make the outcome seem more in doubt?


Yes.


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## billy_bob (Dec 17, 2011)

ok, fair enough


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## handyman121 (Dec 17, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> It's edible silver leaf, same as edible gold leaf. Just incredibly thin sheets of gold / silver that can be digested by the stomach.
> 
> No tin foil in sight in fine dining presentation!


Not "digested" just passes through as a bit of roughage.
 (could be recycled I suppose)


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## Nine Bob Note (Dec 18, 2011)

I'd love to see a show where they show you how to plate up meals to feed people who work and are quite fucking hungry when they get home after ten hours' slog...


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## Santino (Dec 18, 2011)

Nine Bob Note said:


> I'd love to see a show where they show you how to plate up meals to feed people who work and are quite fucking hungry when they get home after ten hours' slog...


You want one of those episodes when they feed the army. Or The Hairy Bikers. Or Jamie Oliver. Or most cookery programmes.


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## Hassan I Sabha (Feb 19, 2013)

I cannot find a specific thread on Great British Menu, so thought I would tag my comment on the end of this similar thread. Did anyone see the bloke who presented a duck and blue cheese flavoured dog poo last night? The look on the other chefs face were classic, and you could tell from his face that the realisation of what he had done was slowly dawning on him from the point he presented the dish


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## spanglechick (Feb 19, 2013)

gosh yes - it was very funny. 

i was surprised the gazpacho mousse-tomato did so badly.


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## Onket (Feb 19, 2013)

Sounds great! Disappointed I missed it.


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## The Boy (Feb 20, 2013)

I know!  Duck and blue cheese!  What was he thinking!?


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## Dan U (Feb 20, 2013)

Yeah that was very funny. 

It was within the brief but a but wtf. Apparently it tasted very nice though!


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