# Annoying TV presenters



## boohoo (Oct 14, 2011)

It's Friday, I'm home alone... time for a grumbling thread:

Me and my mum complain about the presenters on day time TV.

Lorne Spicer who did car booty and cash in the attic is awful  - patronising old cow
Paul Martin (Flog it) can be condesending too.

Neil Oliver went from being a fave to just being annoying. Standing all foppy hair bleating on about the ancestors.

any more for more? Let it all out here!!


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## discokermit (Oct 14, 2011)

all of them except for michaela strachan.


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## boohoo (Oct 14, 2011)

Must make TV watching an uncomfortable experience!


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## discokermit (Oct 14, 2011)

boohoo said:


> Must make TV watching an uncomfortable experience!


very. that's why i don't.

i fucking hate them. attenborough/fry/oliver/brooker/that prick out of d ream/nutkins/lineker. all cunts.

oh, jeff stelling is ok.


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## discokermit (Oct 14, 2011)

i'd like to kick chris packham in the throat.


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## discokermit (Oct 14, 2011)

billy connolly. what a cunt.


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## London_Calling (Oct 14, 2011)

Her with the eyebrow crisis on the news.. Fiona Bruce.


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## skyscraper101 (Oct 14, 2011)

That fucking tosser who thinks he's funny on BBC Breakfast.. Bill Turnball. He's like the world's most uncool Dad.

Susanna Reid on the other hand... she could talk my ear off anyday.


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## boohoo (Oct 14, 2011)

I find some of the ones I like start to become annoying when they seem to presenting everything - Stephen Fry for example.

Just remembered who else really annoys me:

Bettany Hughes - lady historian - all flowy hair and heaving bosom over the ancients.


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## discokermit (Oct 14, 2011)

skyscraper101 said:


> Bill Turnball.


he's a three foot tall bell end.


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## boohoo (Oct 14, 2011)

skyscraper101 said:


> That fucking tosser who thinks he's funny on BBC Breakfast.. Bill Turnball. He's like the world's most uncool Dad.
> 
> Susanna Reid on the other hand... she could talk my ear off anyday.



Yep Bill Turnball - agreed!


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## quimcunx (Oct 14, 2011)

That Lorne one is frightfully common.  And Paul from Flog it is socially inept and not cut out for telly.  Tho I suppose he got slightly better from when he first started. Still can't stand him. Very awkward.  (if it's the guy I think)


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## trashpony (Oct 14, 2011)

Michaela Strachan is an idiot. Chris Packham is a god. IMVHO


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## discokermit (Oct 14, 2011)

trashpony said:


> Michaela Strachan is an idiot. Chris Packham is a god. IMVHO


you're not right. strachan is loveleyness personified. packham is a massive tater with an annoying voice.


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## Belushi (Oct 14, 2011)

Michaela Strachan must be about 60 now! Hit Man and Her was a long bloody time ago.


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## discokermit (Oct 14, 2011)

Belushi said:


> Michaela Strachan must be about 60 now! Hit Man and Her was a long bloody time ago.


she's ageless, timeless, lace and fineness. she's beauty and elegence.


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## London_Calling (Oct 14, 2011)

and you're a wrong un.


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## rekil (Oct 14, 2011)

Schofield. Scabby bastard whining everytime there's a hint of a strike and then bullying Holly Willoughby when she pipes up in support of workers.

Colin Murray. BBC 'footay' man.


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## discokermit (Oct 15, 2011)

copliker said:


> Colin Murray. BBC 'footay' man.


massive twat. everybody on motd is.


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## stavros (Oct 15, 2011)

Bruce Forsyth

/obvious answer


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## Orang Utan (Oct 15, 2011)

discokermit said:


> all of them except for michaela strachan.


i got all gooey when i saw her cuddling an orang utan. proper gooey.


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## Redeyes (Oct 15, 2011)

Jo Whiley annoys me when she's on telly presenting stuff.


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## discokermit (Oct 15, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> i got all gooey when i saw her cuddling an orang utan. proper gooey.


you could imagine meeting her on a dancefloor somewhere, having a laugh on the dancefloor, bump into each other again at the bar, talk loads of rubbish and get her laughing, then sexytimes in the jag.


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## Orang Utan (Oct 15, 2011)

or on my bike. oh wait....


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## discokermit (Oct 15, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> or on my bike. oh wait....


you could have had a jag but you went to india and fell down a hole instead.


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## Orang Utan (Oct 15, 2011)

knowing your act, she'd have second thoughts after you boasting that you can have full sex in less than 12 seconds


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## discokermit (Oct 15, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> knowing your act, she'd have second thoughts after you boasting that you can have full sex in less than 12 seconds


that never seems to work. it makes me laugh though, so i'll tell it again.

"getting my time right down!"


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## Orang Utan (Oct 15, 2011)

the sooner it's over, the sooner they can try and forget about it.
if only they could try...


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## discokermit (Oct 15, 2011)

"i get as much pleasure from seeing the disappointed looks on their faces as the act itself."

"i can ejaculate without orgasm"


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## Orang Utan (Oct 15, 2011)

i don't think this will ever be a successful strategy, dk. you will have to disasseble.


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## discokermit (Oct 15, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> i don't think this will ever be a successful strategy, dk. you will have to disasseble.


none of my routines do well with women. how much i hate owls, why paula radcliffe is a dirty bitch, how much i want to shag the middle one out of hanson and the general benefits of shagging fifteen year old lads. all go down pretty badly when attempting to chat up women.


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## Greebo (Oct 15, 2011)

discokermit said:


> none of my routines do well with women. how much i hate owls, why paula radcliffe is a dirty bitch, how much i want to shag the middle one out of hanson and the general benefits of shagging fifteen year old lads. all go down pretty badly when attempting to chat up women.


Can't imagine why.  Have you considered the radical and slightly mad idea of talking as if you're a human being worth knowing?  Unless trying to advertise that you're bi.


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## Belushi (Oct 15, 2011)

discokermit said:


> none of my routines do well with women. how much i hate owls, why paula radcliffe is a dirty bitch, *how much i want to shag the middle one out of hanson* and the general benefits of shagging fifteen year old lads. all go down pretty badly when attempting to chat up women.



Hang on, you've tried that routine with me


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## discokermit (Oct 15, 2011)

Greebo said:


> Can't imagine why.  Have you considered the radical and slightly mad idea of talking as if you're a human being worth knowing? Unless trying to advertise that you're bi.


why would i try to advertise being bi to a woman i'm trying to pull? that makes no sense.

and for your other point, i'm trying to confuse them so as they don't realise i'm _not_ really worth knowing. i am also secretly testing them and gauging their reactions.


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## marty21 (Oct 16, 2011)

Belushi said:


> Michaela Strachan must be about 60 now! Hit Man and Her was a long bloody time ago.


she's a year younger  than me, and I'm still way off 60   I like her more now than when she did all that hitmen and her stuff - good to see her on Autumn Watch, even if the saintly Humble is taking a break  I quite like Packham tbf, not keen on Neil Oliver any more, his floppyhairscottishness thing got on my nerves


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 16, 2011)

boohoo said:


> Lorne Spicer who did car booty and cash in the attic is awful - patronising old cow
> Paul Martin (Flog it) can be condesending too.



FFS.  Saw the title and straightaway thought I must add Lorne Spicer, but she's in the first sodding post!

Davina McCall


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## discokermit (Oct 16, 2011)

davina mccall is so shit.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 16, 2011)

discokermit said:


> davina mccall is so shit.



Her and Lorne Spicer make me turn over or get up off my arse, which is a good thing I suppose


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## purenarcotic (Oct 16, 2011)

Keith Lemmon.  Just, urgh.

Also Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoby or however she spells it.  Both of them are so fake.

The guy who presents Bargain Hunt couldn't be more patronising if he tried.  Most presenters now seem to think patronising the audience is the way to go now.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 16, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> Keith Lemmon. Just, urgh.
> 
> Also Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoby or however she spells it. Both of them are so fake.
> 
> The guy who presents Bargain Hunt couldn't be more patronising if he tried. Most presenters now seem to think patronising the audience is the way to go now.



Them too.  Oh, the guy from Bargain Hunt is the one I meant (I think).  The one with the really bad teeth?  Is that Bargain Hunt?


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## purenarcotic (Oct 16, 2011)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Them too. Oh, the guy from Bargain Hunt is the one I meant (I think). The one with the really bad teeth? Is that Bargain Hunt?



This guy?


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 16, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> This guy?


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## butcher (Oct 16, 2011)

Nicky Campbell and that twadge off of Rogue Traders.

And i am getting rather sick of Sue Perkins


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## DotCommunist (Oct 16, 2011)

Stephen Fry


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## Greebo (Oct 16, 2011)

Kirsty Alsop or however you spell her name.


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## WWWeed (Oct 16, 2011)

skyscraper101 said:


> That fucking tosser who thinks he's funny on BBC Breakfast.. Bill Turnball. He's like the world's most uncool Dad.
> 
> Susanna Reid on the other hand... she could talk my ear off anyday.


was just about to post all of the BBC (and ITV) breakfast crew. I can do without that shit at that time of the day! 

all of the guys on the gadget show get on my tits as well (mainly beacuse they have no idea about what they are talking about!) especially this guy:





I also have a strong disliking for the following:


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## DotCommunist (Oct 16, 2011)

^^ she's a softy-tory. Nice enough on tele but read her sun column and all the unthinking bile spills out.

Those to twats who do that housing porn show. location x3


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 16, 2011)

WWWeed said:


> was just about to post all of the BBC (and ITV) breakfast crew. I can do without that shit at that time of the day!
> 
> I also have a strong disliking for the following:



I agree.  LK ain't too bad but she smiles far too much for my liking.  People who smile too much make me not smile


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## purenarcotic (Oct 16, 2011)

I had forgotten about Lorraine.  She is so bloody 'happy' and she thinks everything is so bloody fantastic.  So not what you need at half 8 in the morning where drinking coffee is a major achievement.


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## colacubes (Oct 16, 2011)

The bloke who presents Click on News 24. 

Also wholeheartedly agree with Kirstie Allsop, Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoughby.  However Packham is a saint and I will not hear a word said against him


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## Greebo (Oct 16, 2011)

purenarcotic said:


> I had forgotten about Lorraine. She is so bloody 'happy' and she thinks everything is so bloody fantastic. So not what you need at half 8 in the morning where drinking coffee is a major achievement.


Not nearly as horribly bouncy and cheerful as Lizzie who  used to do the exercise on channel 4 at silly o'clock.


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## AverageJoe (Oct 16, 2011)

Tim. Lovejoy.


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## discokermit (Oct 16, 2011)

AverageJoe said:


> Tim. Lovejoy.


we have a winner.

most awful cunt ever on tv.


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## spliff (Oct 16, 2011)

That Lumley fella gets on my nerves.


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## Orang Utan (Oct 16, 2011)

seconded.
joanna lumley is perfectly vile. she parades about saying gosh at mountains.


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## butcher (Oct 16, 2011)

Lorraine Kelly is a right G/MILF, and not too proud to put it out a bit


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## DotCommunist (Oct 16, 2011)

Orang Utan said:


> seconded.
> joanna lumley is perfectly vile. she parades about saying gosh at mountains.


 
Patron saint of the ghurkas


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## Espresso (Oct 16, 2011)

All of these pale into insignificance against the half baked nameless twonk who is a continuity announcer for BBC North West. He's one of those gits who you can tell is smiling, just from hearing his voice. And he talks like this:
Now
Don't go?
Anywhereit's time
For Strictly
Comedancing

No idea where to take  breath or what punctuation means in the spoken medium or where to have an upward inflection in his delivery and where not to and he runs words into other words that have no business being squished up together.

Yes, I know he's not actually a presenter, but he deserves special mention in any thread about bloodboilingly aggravating telly twits.


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## rekil (Oct 16, 2011)

Willoughby is ok for reasons I gave above.

Lucy Worsley.


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## Athos (Oct 16, 2011)

Stephen Fry
Vanessa Feltch
That Irish twat off MOTD


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## greenfield (Oct 17, 2011)

Alistair Appleton of Escape to the Country!  

Oozes smugness from every pore.


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