# Can I join the Army?



## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

Joining the Army was something I considered when leaving school but never did. Can I join now?

I'm 34, did my A-Levels but dropped out of Uni after one year cos I found Uni shit and after that I did a variety of jobs from warehouse work, bar jobs and sales jobs. I haven't been employed for a while as I have been on carers allowance and looking after my younger brother who has autism/special needs for the last ten years. Now he is older I no longer need to be there all the time yet I have not had much luck getting any jobs in the civilian sector (bar work/service industry/industry and warehouse stuff). 

I'm I told old to join as a full timer in the regular army? I have heard that the cut off age for the regulars is 26 but you can get round that by joining the Army Reserves (former TA) and then doing that full time, is this true?


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## weltweit (Jun 24, 2017)

The Army has careers officers, I would give one of them a call and discuss it with them.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

weltweit said:


> The Army has careers officers, I would give one of them a call and discuss it with them.



Yeah I know. Just was hoping to get a few details beforehand and also if there are any squaddies/e-squaddies on Urban to get an idea of what is like to be in the Army.


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## Spymaster (Jun 24, 2017)

Joining the Army - British Army Website


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## weltweit (Jun 24, 2017)

Last info I heard the army was unhappy about the general level of physical fitness of members of the public wanting to sign up. Most serving army people are pretty fit. Something to consider perhaps.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

BTW I kinda rushed my first post and forgot to mention a rather important detail I fear could prevent me from signing up. 

I have criminal record for possession (but *not* intent to supply) of cannabis. It was a small amount, had a small baggie (an 1/8) on me and a spliff in my hand when the police caught me. I spent a night in a police cell and was given a caution, the case never went to court.


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## tim (Jun 24, 2017)

What is the attraction of being sent off by British politicians to kill or be killed?


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## The Boy (Jun 24, 2017)

mather said:


> BTW I kinda rushed my first post and forgot to mention a rather important detail I fear could prevent me from signing up.
> 
> I have criminal record for possession (but *not* intent to supply) of cannabis. It was a small amount, had a small baggie (an 1/8) on me and a spliff in my hand when the police caught me. I spent a night in a police cell and was given a caution, the case never went to court.



The French foreign legion will still have you. Spanish one too, probably.  If they still have one.


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## Puddy_Tat (Jun 24, 2017)

mather said:


> BTW I kinda rushed my first post and forgot to mention a rather important detail I fear could prevent me from signing up.
> 
> I have criminal record for possession (but *not* intent to supply) of cannabis. It was a small amount, had a small baggie (an 1/8) on me and a spliff in my hand when the police caught me. I spent a night in a police cell and was given a caution, the case never went to court.



a caution is 'spent conviction' immediately.  

this (army recruitment website) implies that for some army roles you don't have to declare spent convictions anyway, but says if you do have convictions to be honest and they will think about it.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

weltweit said:


> Last info I heard the army was unhappy about the general level of physical fitness of members of the public wanting to sign up. Most serving army people are pretty fit. Something to consider perhaps.



Yeah I saw that on the Army website. What do they mean by fit though?

My last check-up a few months back at my GP was good. My heart rate, Body Mass Index, weight and blood pressure are all good. I have no illnesses or medical conditions and my eyesight is good, don't need glasses. I have a slim build but not scrawny and my waistline in somewhere between 28-30 inches. At the Gym I can lift up to about 60 kg but would struggle after that.


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## High Voltage (Jun 24, 2017)

As with most things I'd strongly recommend reading the small print. In particular the bit where it mentions that you can expect to be shot at or possibly blown up.


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## dylanredefined (Jun 24, 2017)

mather said:


> Yeah I saw that on the Army website. What do they mean by fit though?
> 
> My last check-up a few months back at my GP was good. My heart rate, Body Mass Index, weight and blood pressure are all good. I have no illnesses or medical conditions and my eyesight is good, don't need glasses. I have a slim build but not scrawny and my waistline in somewhere between 28-30 inches. At the Gym I can lift up to about 60 kg but would struggle after that.



  Run a mile and a half in under 14 minutes is minimum to pass selection though realistically you should be looking at about 11 minutes. What would you like to do in the army? Speak to an army recruiter or your nearest reserve unit they should be happy to help. Recruiting is what I do so if you have any general questions I can help


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## The39thStep (Jun 24, 2017)

Salvation Army is your best bet


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## xenon (Jun 24, 2017)

tim said:


> What is the attraction of being sent off by British politicians to kill or be killed?




Unlikely stats wise. Engineering core looks useful. Or shoot an isis from a couple of miles away, if sniping's your thing.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

dylanredefined said:


> Run a mile and a half in under 14 minutes is minimum to pass selection though realistically you should be looking at about 11 minutes.



I have no idea if I can do that as I don't really do running (I'm not a jogger and I don't really bother with exercise apart from swimming, haven't been to a gym in the last two years) but I do walk a lot, usually an hour or so worth a day and I can walk for miles and miles before getting tired.



dylanredefined said:


> What would you like to do in the army?



Anything combat heavy, infantry most likely. I don't want an army desk job.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

xenon said:


> Unlikely stats wise. Engineering core looks useful. Or shoot an isis from a couple of miles away, if sniping's your thing.



Engineering is the last thing I would want to do, I hate the subject it bores me to death.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 24, 2017)

morally? I don't think so. I'm not a 'they are all babykillers!' sort and yes there is a worker at both ends of the gun but I thought you to be some stripe of socialist? Not that no socialist ever signed up, plenty have and did and they have their reasons (economic conscription being among many). But for real. You will take an oath to the queen and be required to defend the bourgeois state that serves an aristocracy. Believe me, when my health was better I did consider it, both my parents were soldiers. But in the end, can you stomach it? I just can't, could not. It asks you to take your personal honour and ally it with state interest man, I know this might sound all purist and that but thats how I feel. Don't join the fucking military. Someone somewhere ends up paying the blood price even if you never do more than shuffle papers and dread parade days


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

Would consider being a sniper though but would prefer infantryman, my first boyfriend did time in the Army and was a sniper, saw action in Northern Ireland.


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## xenon (Jun 24, 2017)

My mate's bro was a sniper. A lot of lying in mud.


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## planetgeli (Jun 24, 2017)

Infantry first to die. Fucking cannon fodder. Plenty signed up from South Wales where I live. Plenty dead.

Tank regiments have a couple of new vacancies. Two soldiers dead after incident at Castlemartin firing range in Wales


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

The Boy said:


> The French foreign legion will still have you. Spanish one too, probably.  If they still have one.



No thanks.


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## eoin_k (Jun 24, 2017)

So you've suggested some of the factors pushing you to consider this, what's the draw pulling you towards a life in the infantry?


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## DotCommunist (Jun 24, 2017)

mather said:


> Would consider being a sniper though but would prefer infantryman, my first boyfriend did time in the Army and was a sniper, saw action in Northern Ireland.


are you taking the piss? Sniper is a vile role and everyone righteously hates them.

you know when they break you the MoD will just stick you out there on the fucking ESA on civvy street? They literally don't give a fuck.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

Can we leave out the politics please, didn't start this thread to get into some ideological debate.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 24, 2017)

fine I'll leave be, but if joining the army isn't an ideological commitment then nothing is.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 24, 2017)

just don't


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## FridgeMagnet (Jun 24, 2017)

The maximum age limit is there because it's harder to indoctrinate older people. They're bolshy and harder to psychologically break.


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## eoin_k (Jun 24, 2017)

mather said:


> Can we leave out the politics please, didn't start this thread to get into some ideological debate.


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## mwgdrwg (Jun 24, 2017)

Of course you can...


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## wayward bob (Jun 24, 2017)

mather said:


> Can we leave out the politics please, didn't start this thread to get into some ideological debate.


are you new here?


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## Spymaster (Jun 24, 2017)

mather said:


> Anything combat heavy, infantry most likely.


Then you're looking in the wrong place. The best infantry in the world are the Royal Marines. 

You're too old.


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## NoXion (Jun 24, 2017)

What's attracting you to the infantry? If economic conscription is your reason for joining the Army as you seem to allude to in your OP, wouldn't it be a better idea to try to go for something with a greater chance of earning you skills that you can use to apply for civilian jobs once the military-industrial complex has finished chewing you up? I'm given to understand that soldiers in front-line roles are more likely to retire early, and I'm not sure how much a military pension is worth these days.


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## spitfire (Jun 24, 2017)

planetgeli said:


> Infantry first to die. Fucking cannon fodder. Plenty signed up from South Wales where I live. Plenty dead.
> 
> Tank regiments have a couple of new vacancies. Two soldiers dead after incident at Castlemartin firing range in Wales



One of whom grew up with a lot of friends of mine.

*vacancies* 

cunt


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

eoin_k said:


> So you've suggested some of the factors pushing you to consider this, what's the draw pulling you towards a life in the infantry?



I'm 34 years old and fuck all to show for my life. My life at the moment is aimless, no purpose not part of anything bigger. I spend days feeling ashamed and disgusted with myself, I see some of my mates whom I grew up with, from school etc... and they have got along. They have jobs, have their own places to live, they take holidays, do things I don't and some have now even got married and are starting their own families. I have none of these things, I don't even have money in bank account. I'm a sociable person and love meeting new people but my current circle of friends is small cos I can't afford to go out and meet new people and when I do I fucking dread the moment they ask "what do you do/ what is your job". Each day my sense of self worth get less and less and where is it gonna go? I'm getting to the age where if I don't get into work soon no one would want to employ me cos I'm too old. I fucking fear becoming old because I have no pension, no put anything aside for that and as it stand I'll have to rely on just the state pension, which is shit and means I couldn't even live the semblance of a simple but decent life when I'm an old man. 

I have three brothers who are autistic, one of them more so than the other two and he is unlikely to ever get a job so if I can't support him no one will. If we lived in a decent world he would be supported for his entire life, but we don't and the welfare state and all the support it provides looks like it won't be around in the future with the way things are going. I have this fear of him ending up on the streets, he is so vulnerable he wouldn't survive a minute out there. I cry myself to sleep at times thinking about this and it's a fear I have had to live with for years, I'm at the end of my tether and I honestly think I'm gonna just lose it at some point if the situation doesn't change soon. 

So at the end of the day this isn't even a choice, I have none really. I have to support myself and I have family members who have no one else who is there for them so I have to be. I'll do anything for them and if that means losing my leg or arm or dying in some ditch in some warzone then so be it.

Like I said in my other posts, I have had problems getting work as it so hard to come by now and as I have been out of work for ten years, I have a greater disadvantage than a lot of other people who don't have that huge gap on their CV.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> just don't



Can you offer me a guaranteed job, wage and pension? If not I don't have a choice, choices and morals are for those who can afford them.


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## spitfire (Jun 24, 2017)

"Infantry first to die. Fucking cannon fodder. Plenty signed up from South Wales where I live. Plenty dead.

Tank regiments have a couple of new vacancies. Two soldiers dead after incident at Castlemartin firing range in Wales"

planetgeli 

Fella on the right. Died in the accident you flippantly describe as opening vacancies.

His family are distraught. I'm no flag waver (I'm Irish for a start) but fucksakes this shit happens to people you might know, or people who know people you might know. RIP tankie.


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## Spymaster (Jun 24, 2017)

spitfire said:


> "Infantry first to die. Fucking cannon fodder. Plenty signed up from South Wales where I live. Plenty dead.
> 
> Tank regiments have a couple of new vacancies. Two soldiers dead after incident at Castlemartin firing range in Wales"
> 
> ...


He (planetgeli) didn't know, mate. It was a chuck-away line. Nobody would have upset you on purpose, although one scumcunt here called goldenecitrone did once wish death upon my son. But he's an exceptional turd (goldenecitrone , not my son, who's only mildly annoying).

Leave it


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## spitfire (Jun 24, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> He (planetgeli) didn't know, mate. It was a chuck-away line. Nobody would have upset you on purpose, although one scumcunt here called goldenecitrone did once wish death upon my son. But he's an exceptional turd.
> 
> Leave it



I remember that. It was a horrible thing to say.

I've said my piece. planetgeli can respond if they want, not bothered.


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## mather (Jun 24, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> He (planetgeli) didn't know, mate. It was a chuck-away line. Nobody would have upset you on purpose, although one scumcunt here called goldenecitrone did once wish death upon my son. But he's an exceptional turd (goldenecitrone , not my son, who's only mildly annoying).
> 
> Leave it



Wow, shit. I have seen a few of his posts but never knew he was that much of a cunt. Why did he get so personal?


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## Spymaster (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Wow, shit. I have seen a few of his posts but never knew he was that much of a cunt. Why did he get so personal?


Not sure, but my guess is that it's because he's a shit-sniffing loser without a life outside of the internet.

I thought your OP was a piss-take, tbf, but it seems not.

Fwiw, I think you're probably looking at a military career for an answer to problems that it probably wouldn't give you. You're not alone, loads of kids do the same. There are several serving and ex-serving soldiers on here that would be able to give you the lowdown on life in the armed forces. dylanredefined , kebabking , craigxcraig , ViolentPanda , likesfish , are all decent geezers worth talking to; but probably best to hit them up in PM rather than openly on the boards.

Maybe put your situation, without the military angle, to some other folks on the boards and see what other ideas come up ?

Good luck anyway.


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## hot air baboon (Jun 25, 2017)

really sorry to hear about your travails mather - I too am not convinced the military represents the best option to alleviate or shift the burden of the pressures on you but do understand the appeal of wanting to make a new start I've no military experience to speak of apart from 2 weeks in the foreign legio when i was 17 before I got found out as a school boy fantasist.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> I thought your OP was a piss-take, tbf, but it seems not.



Why?


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## Spymaster (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Why?


As someone said up there ^^^, are you new here? 

U75 is traditionally populated by leftie nob-jobs like danny la rouge ,and NoXion , who'd automatically view your proposal with the utmost disdain.

If you're serious, drop me a PM.


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> I have no idea if I can do that as I don't really do running (I'm not a jogger and I don't really bother with exercise apart from swimming, haven't been to a gym in the last two years) but I do walk a lot, usually an hour or so worth a day and I can walk for miles and miles before getting tired.
> 
> 
> 
> Anything combat heavy, infantry most likely. I don't want an army desk job.



Probably worth seriously increasing the exercise now. Not only to get in, but it will make training easier, especially as you'll be alongside lots of people much younger then you whose bodies will adapt a lot quicker then yours.


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## Puddy_Tat (Jun 25, 2017)

mather 

I don't want to get in to the politics of joining the armed services.  A few disconnected thoughts - 

If you are needed to be there to provide support to family members, you're probably going to be in a better position to do it if you live locally rather than being in a job where you can be sent anywhere in the world at short notice.

The armed services are not exempt from the current cuts.  I have a vague recollection of something in one of the papers recently that the army is going to shrink further in the next few years.  I doubt this means there will be a complete recruitment freeze, but would imagine that recruitment will be slowed down and they probably don't sign up everyone who walks through the recruiting office door.  

If you've recently ended being a full time carer, there may be specific assistance available to get (back) in to work.  Are you aware of the national careers service?  it's there for people of all ages, not like the 'careers service' that existed when i left school that was only for school leavers.   guess it wouldn't do any harm to talk to them.

if you've had caring responsibilities, then the experience might well be relevant to some jobs.  not necessarily personal care sort of stuff (fairly demanding work and the money tends to be shit) but maybe something like learning support in a school / college?  not an area of work i know a lot about, but may be worth a bit of thought?  (anything requiring a full CRB will consider spent convictions, but my advice would be to be honest about your caution, presume it was some time ago, you may have to have a chat about this - some sort of line about a youthful mistake, you've reformed and all that sort of thing will usually do the trick)

are you currently on the dole?   they do tend to push people in to crap 'work experience' stuff - i recognise you may face the 'no recent / relevant experience or references' trap - is it worth thinking about finding some sort of volunteering off your own bat rather than waiting until the dole force you in to some crappy pseudo-volunteering?  

do you have a driving licence?  if so, have you thought about going on the buses?  in most parts of the country, bus operators are continually recruiting, and will take people with a car licence on and train them to get through the pcv (bus / coach driving licence) test.  the bigger bus companies these days tend to look for people with the right 'people skills' rather than people with a lot of driving experience (smaller companies tend only to take on drivers with an existing pcv licence)

it's not a job that suits everyone - shift work, can be longish hours, you're dealing with the general public in all its forms, and the pay isn't great - although it's generally a bloody sight better than it was 20 years or so ago, and it's a full time job that usually has overtime / rest day working available.

spent convictions are not relevant to getting a pcv licence.  in some areas, local authorities insist on full CRB for 'school bus' drivers in which case see above (it's mostly sex / violence offences they are looking for - i'm aware of one or two bus drivers who have in the past done prison sentences.)

i'm assuming by the way that the possession thing was something in your past, transport workers (including the likes of me who only drives a desk these days) are usually contractually liable to random drug / alcohol tests.

happy to talk more about this if you want to know more - either here or by PM


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> As someone said up there ^^^, are you new here?
> 
> U75 is traditionally populated by leftie nob-jobs like danny la rouge ,and NoXion , who'd automatically view your proposal with the utmost disdain.
> 
> If you're serious, drop me a PM.



Lol, no I'm not that new but I thought you were trying to imply that I wasn't serious about signing up rather than anything political.

You will have to add me to leftie list as I am, politically speaking, a socialist and a Marxist. I'm not a pacifist though and were I alive back in 1939 I would have had no qualms about signing up and fighting against Germany. I just happen to think we should use our armed forces to defend this country, not for any imperialist adventures, invading/attacking countries that have no beef with us (Serbia/Iraq/Libya) or liberal interventionism.


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## Spymaster (Jun 25, 2017)

Puddy_Tat said:


> mather
> 
> I don't want to get in to the politics of joining the armed services.  A few disconnected thoughts -
> 
> ...



Well done, nice post


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## eoin_k (Jun 25, 2017)

Hey mather,

I don't want to come across as a nob, but your reply was just a more detailed description of what's pushing you to consider doing this rather than an answer to what might be the draw. (You don't owe me one, so fuck it, but it might be worth thinking about... or not... just a suggestion.) The army seems to have a fairly good track record of spitting people out the other side with an equally long gap in their civilian CV, as well as a smattering of institutionalisation, optional PTSD and the stigma of being seen as a potential liability by prospective future employers.

Oh, and if you do go down this route, good luck with finding yourself liberating Europe from the Nazis rather than getting used for 'any imperialist adventures, invading/attacking countries that have no beef with us (Serbia/Iraq/Libya) or liberal interventionism'.

I'll leave it to others to suggest the alternatives, since they already seem to be doing a better job of it than I would.

Cheers,

eoin_k


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## pogofish (Jun 25, 2017)

The only people I've known to go into the forces in their thirties were people whose civvy work translated directly to in-demand military roles.

Most have been Doctors/high-end medical-related - and yes, quite possibly most if not all have been in the reserves/TA or had gone through the OTC route at Uni.

The only other one was an engineer/deep-water technology specialist who felt his role was very undervalued by us but didn't want to bail-out to an oil company, despite the crazy money they tended dangle in front of our guys.  He was also exceptionally superfit/sporty for his age and his personality/bearing did make me wonder if he already had a military background but if he had, he never let-on.

Six years later, he was seconded back to us for a couple of years to update his skills on the latest research projects before vanishing off the face of the earth again - Or was it just to get a look at what our overseas partners were developing?  Hmm...!


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## Sea Star (Jun 25, 2017)

The39thStep said:


> Salvation Army is your best bet


Id rather get blown up


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Puddy_Tat said:


> If you are needed to be there to provide support to family members, you're probably going to be in a better position to do it if you live locally rather than being in a job where you can be sent anywhere in the world at short notice.



Well I have been there for my family in terms of being there in person, helping them. It is what I have been doing for the last ten years ever since my step-dad (my brothers father) died at an early age from cancer (he was 43). When he died I had to become the man of the house so to speak. However now my brothers are older, the youngest is now 12 years old, my mum is able to look after them all by herself. So that part of supporting my family is now over me, the real problem is money, that is the area where my family needs support more than anything and at the moment I can't support them in that way. Like I said earlier, I more know for certain that one of my brothers will never work due to his condition and it's 50/50 with the other two. The welfare state is being gutted and may not even be around in the near future, if that happens my family will only have me to rely on. Even if I got a bar job or work in a warehouse that would still not cut it, I'd barely be able to support myself but no chance in hell of being able to support my family. I'm not formally educated or connected enough to get some fancy middle class job, so what other choices do I have?



Puddy_Tat said:


> If you've recently ended being a full time carer, there may be specific assistance available to get (back) in to work. Are you aware of the national careers service? it's there for people of all ages, not like the 'careers service' that existed when i left school that was only for school leavers. guess it wouldn't do any harm to talk to them.



Thanks but I just had a look at their website and wasn't impressed at all. It just looks like another Job Centre type of thing and as the Job Centre have never given me any decent work I don't think these people can either. Besides I'm kinda done with places that are just job sites/recruitment agencies as I have never had any luck with them. I need a guaranteed job offer, not a process of interviews and people telling me they will get back in touch and then never hearing from them again cos someone else got the job instead.



Puddy_Tat said:


> if you've had caring responsibilities, then the experience might well be relevant to some jobs. not necessarily personal care sort of stuff (fairly demanding work and the money tends to be shit) but maybe something like learning support in a school / college? not an area of work i know a lot about, but may be worth a bit of thought? (anything requiring a full CRB will consider spent convictions, but my advice would be to be honest about your caution, presume it was some time ago, you may have to have a chat about this - some sort of line about a youthful mistake, you've reformed and all that sort of thing will usually do the trick)



Two years ago I actually got a job at my old high school. My neighbour works at the school as the chief exam adjudicator and he offered me a job as an exam adjudicator, I did the interview and gave my CV and I got the job pending a CRB check. Due to my criminal record I failed the CRB test and was told that I can't work in any job that involves children or people under the age of 18. It pisses me off, as if I would have gone round the school handing out spliffs to all the students. I'm treated in the same way as a pedo or sex offender all because a copper once caught me with a small baggie of weed.

If it wasn't for that I would have been working there now.



Puddy_Tat said:


> are you currently on the dole? they do tend to push people in to crap 'work experience' stuff - i recognise you may face the 'no recent / relevant experience or references' trap - is it worth thinking about finding some sort of volunteering off your own bat rather than waiting until the dole force you in to some crappy pseudo-volunteering?



I need money, so volunteering is out of the question. A mug's game if you ask me.



Puddy_Tat said:


> do you have a driving licence? if so, have you thought about going on the buses? in most parts of the country, bus operators are continually recruiting, and will take people with a car licence on and train them to get through the pcv (bus / coach driving licence) test. the bigger bus companies these days tend to look for people with the right 'people skills' rather than people with a lot of driving experience (smaller companies tend only to take on drivers with an existing pcv licence)
> 
> it's not a job that suits everyone - shift work, can be longish hours, you're dealing with the general public in all its forms, and the pay isn't great - although it's generally a bloody sight better than it was 20 years or so ago, and it's a full time job that usually has overtime / rest day working available.
> 
> ...



I don't know how to drive and have no licence.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

BTW, thank you for all the advice, it was a long post and must have taken up a bit of your time so cheers.


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Two years ago I actually got a job at my old high school. My neighbour works at the school as the chief exam adjudicator and he offered me a job as an exam adjudicator, I did the interview and gave my CV and I got the job pending a CRB check. Due to my criminal record I failed the CRB test and was told that I can't work in any job that involves children or people under the age of 18. It pisses me off, as if I would have gone round the school handing out spliffs to all the students. I'm treated in the same way as a pedo or sex offender all because a copper once caught me with a small baggie of weed.



Maybe in schools, but I've worked with young people for a number of years and Ive also had a couple of small offenses. It's totally up to the employer. 

Also I don't know how long ago it was, but under the DBS system that replaced CRBs some things do drop off after time.


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## DownwardDog (Jun 25, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> The best infantry in the world are the Royal Marines.



That particular vanity died in the chaos of Jugroom Fort.


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## DownwardDog (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Can you offer me a guaranteed job, wage and pension? If not I don't have a choice, choices and morals are for those who can afford them.



You can become a gunner in the RAF Regiment at up to age 36. You would have to be a) reasonably fit and b) not fat to pass selection. It will be quite like being in the infantry in the army as you will be surrounded by people who are as thick as fuck and you'll get a gun but your chance of dying is slightly less.


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## Spymaster (Jun 25, 2017)

DownwardDog said:


> That particular vanity died in the chaos of Jugroom Fort.



Certainly. If you don't know what the fuck you're talking about and have no sense of perspective. 

He wants to be a sniper too

<discussion ends>


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## equationgirl (Jun 25, 2017)

mather wish you all the best, but just because volunteering doesn't suit your circumstances doesn't mean it's a 'mug's game' by any means.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

equationgirl said:


> mather wish you all the best, but just because volunteering doesn't suit your circumstances doesn't mean it's a 'mug's game' by any means.



Thanks. Ok I was being a bit flippant but wasn't really having a go at people who volunteer for good causes, such as Lifeboats, helping homeless folk, visiting the elderly and the like. I was more having a go at this new trend where people are now expected to have to work for free in order for people to even be considered for employment. If people wanna volunteer to help people and their communities and contribute to society, that's good and they deserve a lot more recognition than they get now. But it's bang out of order that some people now have to work for free for months/years on end for the 'luxury' of getting some shitty job stacking shelves at supermarkets at the end of it all.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

I'd like to thank everyone for their help and advice, you have all been great.

I'm not gonna rush into this, so I'm not gonna be heading to the army recruitment office tomorrow or anything. But if by the end of this year I haven't found any decent work then fuck it, I'll sign up.


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## felixthecat (Jun 25, 2017)

I work with the infantry and you're too old. You'd be lumped in with a bunch of 18 year old who will drive you mental and anyone who is your peer age wise will be an NCO - and yeah, rank does make a difference. You will be bossed around by wet behind the ears Lieutenants 10 years younger than yourself and you can't give them the slap most of them richly deserve. And last but not least you'll end up in my department because a 34 year old body will injure more easily and heal slower than an 18 year olds. And then you'll get grief for being a biff.

Don't do it.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 25, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> goldenecitrone did once wish death upon my son.


Why would anyone say that? What the fuck is wrong with people? 

Sorry you had to hear that.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 25, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> As someone said up there ^^^, are you new here?
> 
> U75 is traditionally populated by leftie nob-jobs like danny la rouge ,and NoXion , who'd automatically view your proposal with the utmost disdain.
> 
> If you're serious, drop me a PM.


Well, I've had friends and relatives in the forces. Those my age are now long out of it, but i currently have a younger cousin and a nephew serving in the forces. So "disdain" isn't a word I'd have used. (Worry is probably one I'd use though). 

Personality-wise, it would never have suited me, though. I have absolutely no talent for taking orders. I question everything and frequently got in trouble with employers by thinking I knew better than them how something should be done, which nobody ever likes. This wouldn't have been so bad, except I don't keep my mouth shut. I say things out loud. So I'd have been a very poor soldier indeed.

(Swearing oaths to the Queen and believing in the decisions of politicians would also be reasons I never considered joining myself).


----------



## danny la rouge (Jun 25, 2017)

I've no useful advice to give you, mather, but good luck with whatever you decide. Buses sound good. Puddy_Tat's post is the one I'd be giving consideration to if it was me.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

felixthecat said:


> I work with the infantry and you're too old.



Not according to everyone else and the Army recruitment website.



felixthecat said:


> You'd be lumped in with a bunch of 18 year old who will drive you mental and anyone who is your peer age wise will be an NCO - and yeah, rank does make a difference. You will be bossed around by wet behind the ears Lieutenants 10 years younger than yourself and you can't give them the slap most of them richly deserve. And last but not least you'll end up in my department because a 34 year old body will injure more easily and heal slower than an 18 year olds.



Lol, I have worked in really shitty sales jobs with complete wankers who did and said a lot worse than anything you just described.



felixthecat said:


> And then you'll get grief for being a biff.



What is a biff?


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

danny la rouge said:


> I've no useful advice to give you, mather, but good luck with whatever you decide. Buses sound good. Puddy_Tat's post is the one I'd be giving consideration to if it was me.



As I said before, I can't drive and have no license.


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## danny la rouge (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> As I said before, I can't drive and have no license.


Right. Wasn't paying attention obviously. 

Hope something works out for you though.


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## likesfish (Jun 25, 2017)

the TA army reserve might be an option especially if your caring for someone.
 the military ship you off to the middle of nowhere or Germany or Cyprus etc.
  infantry means no employable skills and a lot of time spent doing scut work for every hour doing "fun" stuff its around ten being bored out of your mind.
 you can do it but your pushing the age limit and your probably better off getting some real career advice.
 the militarys not just a job its a lifestyle its 24/7 365 leave can be lost because the olympics need covering or war etc etc.
you cant do dope ever etc etc etc


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## planetgeli (Jun 25, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> He (planetgeli) didn't know, mate. It was a chuck-away line. Nobody would have upset you on purpose, although one scumcunt here called goldenecitrone did once wish death upon my son. But he's an exceptional turd (goldenecitrone , not my son, who's only mildly annoying).
> 
> Leave it



Yep, thank you. It wasn't even a chuck away line. It was said for effect. I've had a friend plus someone I taught die, one in the Falklands and one in Afghanistan. I don't need lecturing from someone (Spitfire) who thinks they have a monopoly on grief.


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## dessiato (Jun 25, 2017)

I was in the Army. I loved it. I'd recommend it as a potential career, but only to young people. It's a bloody hard thing to get into, because of fitness requirements, when you are young. It'll be a lot harder at your age. If you really want to do it, go for it. But do so with the knowledge that it is very difficult and you could fail. 

Out of curiosity, why Army, and not one of the other uniformed services, e.g. fire or ambulance? (I'm aware you can't drive at the moment, but not every role demands driving)


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## Mumbles274 (Jun 25, 2017)

dessiato said:


> I was in the Army. I loved it. I'd recommend it as a potential career, but only to young people. It's a bloody hard thing to get into, because of fitness requirements, when you are young. It'll be a lot harder at your age. If you really want to do it, go for it. But do so with the knowledge that it is very difficult and you could fail.
> 
> Out of curiosity, why Army, and not one of the other uniformed services, e.g. fire or ambulance? (I'm aware you can't drive at the moment, but not every role demands driving)



I wondered that too, police, fire, ambulance? One of your posts mather seems to say about a lack of belonging and purpose you are looking for.. Have you thought about those other kind of roles too?


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

dessiato said:


> Out of curiosity, why Army, and not one of the other uniformed services, e.g. fire or ambulance? (I'm aware you can't drive at the moment, but not every role demands driving)



Aren't firemen supposed be be even more stronger and fitter than your regular soldier (excluding Marines, Paratroopers etc...)? They have to be fit enough to carry people down tall ladders, something I know I can't do unless I spend years bodybuilding first, time I don't have. Plus I have a fear of heights and hate ladders. 

I have never wanted to do anything medical so ambulance is not my thing.


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## Mumbles274 (Jun 25, 2017)

And the Army, rather than armed forces? Navy or Air an option?


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Also, I have no idea of how they recruit firemen and ambulance responders but I'm guessing it is not like the military, which provided you meet all the entry requirements you get the job, none of this "we will get back to you to let you know if you have got the job" bullshit. I'm fed up with interviews that lead nowhere. *For me this is the deal breaker.*


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Mumbles274 said:


> And the Army, rather than armed forces? Navy or Air an option?



I hate the sea and the idea of being on a ship all the time would bore me shitless, having to use the ferry to go to France is bad enough and I only use it cos it is cheap. I would rather spend time at some base in Germany to be honest.


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## kebabking (Jun 25, 2017)

Hi mather

you are too old to join the infantry, and even if you weren't you soon will be. being an infantreer at 36 is hard, being an infanteer at 38 is bloody hard, and being an infanteer at 40 pretty much impossible for those who don't feature in Marvel comics. at 34 i was running Royal Artillery Fire Support Teams embedded in Infantry Companies in Afghanistan, we carried the same loads as the Infantry, lived in the same conditions, and fired our weapons at the same time as the Infantry - it was fucking hard work, after 6 months i was on the bones of my arse, and the only thing that allowed me to do it was that i had been doing it for 17 years. you won't fit in, your (age) peers will be senior NCO's and Company Commanders, while your (job) peers will be 18yo Private soldiers who you will work, train, eat, live, sleep, and socialise with. at 34, if you can happily live non-stop with a group of your average 18/19yo infantry soldiers, theres something wrong with you...

there _are_ opportunities to join the armed forces at your age - however you need to turn your attitude around: the Army - or RAF, or RN - are not dumping grounds who will gratefully take anyone who has no other options, they are well recruited, desirable employers who are vastly oversubcribed in terms of applicants. if you want a fair hearing in the careers office, make it clear that you are there because you want to do something challenging, worthwhile and rewarding, not because you're hiding from the shitness of the world. you have qualifications, you have life experience, you have grit - if you have cared for an Autistic child, you have grit. now its time to do something else with your life.

loathe as i am to admit it, i would echo DownwardDog in suggesting the RAF. the age profile tends to be older than the Army (which will help you fit in), and the roles tend to be less physically demanding than in the Army, which given your age and lack of inbuilt fitness is something you need to consider. the living conditions will probably be better as well, and (broadly) the working conditions are more likely to suit you. 

happy to continue by PM if you wish...


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

kebabking said:


> Hi mather
> 
> you are too old to join the infantry, and even if you weren't you soon will be. being an infantreer at 36 is hard, being an infanteer at 38 is bloody hard, and being an infanteer at 40 pretty much impossible for those who don't feature in Marvel comics. at 34 i was running Royal Artillery Fire Support Teams embedded in Infantry Companies in Afghanistan, we carried the same loads as the Infantry, lived in the same conditions, and fired our weapons at the same time as the Infantry - it was fucking hard work, after 6 months i was on the bones of my arse, and the only thing that allowed me to do it was that i had been doing it for 17 years. you won't fit in, your (age) peers will be senior NCO's and Company Commanders, while your (job) peers will be 18yo Private soldiers who you will work, train, eat, live, sleep, and socialise with. at 34, if you can happily live non-stop with a group of your average 18/19yo infantry soldiers, theres something wrong with you...
> 
> ...



I dunno, I want to give it a try and if I fail, at least I tried.

The RAF doesn't appeal to me at all, never wanted to be a pilot and I'm not good with tech and the RAF is tech/engineering heavy isn't it?

Are there any roles suited to me in the Army other than infantry?


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## Idris2002 (Jun 25, 2017)

How about using your experience caring for your brother to become a professional carer, mather?

Just a thought, like. Whatever you decide, good luck.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Idris2002 said:


> How about using your experience caring for your brother to become a professional carer, mather?
> 
> Just a thought, like. Whatever you decide, good luck.



Not interested, I only did it cos of family.


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## Idris2002 (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Not interested, I only did it cos of family.


OK, fair enough. I was just suggesting it because my youngest brother has done some of that, while he waits for an art teacher's job to come up.


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## StoneRoad (Jun 25, 2017)

mather - does your good eyesight include colour vision ?
if you are not red/green colour blind, then instead of going "on the buses" why not try the trains / trams, or somewhere within the railway system in general ? If you have volunteered at one of the preserved railways previously, then that can help ...


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## kebabking (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> I dunno, I want to give it a try and if I fail, at least I tried.
> 
> The RAF doesn't appeal to me at all, never wanted to be a pilot and I'm not good with tech and the RAF is tech/engineering heavy isn't it?
> 
> Are there any roles suited to me in the Army other than infantry?



There are(iirc) about 250 non-infantry roles in the Army - everything from pilot through geographic technician to human intelligence specialist, shipwrights, drivers and water systems engineers...

The RAF is the same - 30,000+ people, of whom only a fraction fly or fix.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Idris2002 said:


> OK, fair enough. I was just suggesting it because my youngest brother has done some of that, while he waits for an art teacher's job to come up.



To be honest I only did out of duty and family, they had no one else to rely on and I had to step up. I would never want to make a career out of it and I'm not really the social worker type. It is too emotionally taxing and intense.

Besides, all carer jobs require actual employed experience, being on carers allowance doesn't really count for much in interviews, most people just write you off as being on the dole.


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## DaveCinzano (Jun 25, 2017)

Can I just say this thread is an exemplar of what this place can be at its best?

Plenty of sage advice, practical suggestions, pragmatic perspectives and a distinct lack of the sort of screechiness that one might think this topic would elicit.

MOAR PLZ

And best of luck mather in figuring out your path


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## littlebabyjesus (Jun 25, 2017)

A mate of mine fought in the Falklands. Now, 35 years on, he's struggling to cope with the idea that he killed people, killed kids basically who didn't want to be there. Was in the navy and loved lots of it, but this is the legacy of the military, and it invariably seems to come with age. He's off work atm, in therapy, and struggling to hold himself together as sad thoughts flood his mind. 

I know a few older people who saw action in various British fuck-ups, including Suez and Burma, and there is a pattern there - the older you get, the worse it becomes. The army fucks people up.


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## Pac man (Jun 25, 2017)

Hi mather, fuck the forces mate, do something that will make you proud of yourself. My best friend was your age when she was diagnosed with Dystonia and really thought her life was over, mostly due to the fact it took a couple of years to find a good specialist that got her meds right. She still struggled on aimlessly for a few years but at age 40 she decided to go to college for a year then she did  a part time BSC in Social Work. First year she was at uni most days but year 2 only about once or twcie a month, year 3 and 4 was placements, invaluable for job experience. If you have allready been to college and done a year at uni then you should be familiar with learning, it should set you up nicely to get back into the swing of things. It sounds like with your  life experience of caring for family, social work could be right up your street. Caring for family is incredibly hard and and you obviously know that. My friend is now absolutley loving her job, shes part of a reviweing and assesment team, life has purpose and shes never been happier. So although your circumstances feel and look bleak, its never too late. Not trying to push you back into education but, its something to consider. I was in my 30s when i went to uni, after leavin school with no qualifications and drifiting in and ouit of shit jobs for many years, depression almost killed me before i enrolled at college..GL whatever you decide to do. Thers lots of different jobs in social work, my friend works in adult care, and visits a few homes a week then works from home writing up assesments, its not taxing or emotionally draining, she brings sunshine into the elderly residents life with her warm smile and friendly socialble personailty..proper loves it she does, shes here with me this morning recovering after a night and day on the lash yesterday..


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## WouldBe (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Would consider being a sniper though but would prefer infantryman, my first boyfriend did time in the Army and was a sniper, saw action in Northern Ireland.


I joined years ago when I was 28. There was a cut off age of 26 for any frontline roles.


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## DownwardDog (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> The RAF doesn't appeal to me at all, never wanted to be a pilot and I'm not good with tech and the RAF is tech/engineering heavy isn't it?



That's why I suggested the RAF Regiment. It's the air force's "infantry" and probably the only option for a role of that type for someone of your age in the British forces. It's not technical at all, unless you have the great ill fortune to be posted to the Chemical, Biological and Nuclear Defence Wing.


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## likesfish (Jun 25, 2017)

The military are vastly over subscribed even getting into the TA takes time its not the foreign legion even at the height of the afghan and Iraq they were turning recruits down.
  They still get to pick and choose their recruits


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## spanglechick (Jun 25, 2017)

Have you looked at apprenticeships? Either for a trade or a degree-level apprenticeship?


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## Puddy_Tat (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> all carer jobs require actual employed experience



i'm not sure this is the case.  friend of mine got in to paid caring work on no more than experience of unpaid caring for her elderly mother.  different employers will have different approaches and the jobs market in one area will be different from another (i've no idea where you are) - some prefer just to poach staff from other employers out there, but the supply doesn't last indefinitely doing that and in some parts of the country, they are pretty damn desperate for staff (although as said before, the pay tends to be shit which is a factor)

Can't be bothered to do the multi-quote thing on other bits but 

someone is right, I should have said DBS not CRB.  

However, it's generally not a pass / fail thing as far as DBS are concerned.  It's not DBS's role to say to an employer "no, you should not employ this person" (unless someone is on the list of people not allowed anywhere near children / vulnerable adults and that's going to be sexual offences and the like) - DBS provide data on a person's past convictions and it's up to employer then to make a decision.  Sounds like the one who did the auto-reject was not following best practice and that the info they gave you was suspect.

Also, there seems (in 2013) to have been the introduction of 'filtering' of minor offences (I've not been on the receiving end of DBS checks for a while - hence my referring to CRB yesterday) - this from government has a bit more.   This (not entirely sure who they are - seem to be a commercial organisation that can assist with DBS checks, so may be worth further research) says that "Drugs offences only involving possession" are filtered after a certain time.

As for volunteering, yes there are some experiences out there that are not great - 'third sector' organisations that pay enormous salaries to their execs, and hamface cameron's 'pig society' where the vision was mainly about replacing public sector jobs are questionable.  

Yes there is a political angle to some forms of volunteering, but then there's a political angle to joining the armed services.  And it can be a way through the 'can't get a job without experience' thing.

Yes, lack of a car licence will rule out going bus driving 



StoneRoad said:


> if you are not red/green colour blind, then instead of going "on the buses" why not try the trains / trams, or somewhere within the railway system in general ?



also tram driving - you generally need a car licence before you can be considered for tram driving.

the railways might be a different matter (i've no idea where you live) - train driving is very over-subscribed, and station based jobs are also fairly popular (some people see it as a way in to the industry with a chance to go train driving later - opinion is divided whether this is a good idea or not) - an increasing number of train operators have a mix of their own employed station staff and outsourced / casualised security / customer service / crowd control people.   The UK Rail Forums has a jobs and careers section which may be worth a peruse if this appeals.

The National Careers Service that I mentioned is not part of the job centre nor is it an employment agency.  The job centres' primary aim is to get people off JSA by any means possible, employment agencies' primary aim is to get a fee out of employers by filling jobs.   I've not had a lot to do with them (only contact was when I was working somewhere about to be closed down, and employer got them in to give a few sessions - I didn't get that much out of it as I was only there as a temp anyway, and was following my own job hunting path at the time) - may be a waste of time, but possibly worth at least giving them a try.


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## dylanredefined (Jun 25, 2017)

While the Army Reserve will take you. You should speak to a career advisor if you want to go full time. A lot of roles other than infantry put you on the front line. Raf Regiment is also a good idea. If you want to be a sniper RAF regiment is probably your only option as you are a bit old for the infantry it is a hard physical role. Sniping is even harder lots of crawling lots of navigation and observation exercises. The shooting was the easy bit. Unless you are an exemplary soldier you are not going to get on the course let alone pass it. Good luck whatever you decide on.


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## equationgirl (Jun 25, 2017)

RAF regiment sounds like it's a better bet than the army, mather.


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## kebabking (Jun 25, 2017)

equationgirl said:


> RAF regiment sounds like it's a better bet than the army, mather.




Nnnnnnnnngggggghhhhhhhhhhhgggg!¡!!!!!!!!!!!

(I'm being baited, must resist, I must resist!)


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## Pickman's model (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Joining the Army was something I considered when leaving school but never did. Can I join now?


Joining the Army - British Army Website


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## Pickman's model (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> Can we leave out the politics please, didn't start this thread to get into some ideological debate.


if you'd just gone to the british army website and taken the queen's shilling none of this thread would ever have occurred.


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Jun 25, 2017)

Don't forget when they ask you why you want to join to tell them it's to kill people in revenge for the terrorist attacks. They'll snap you up.


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## Orang Utan (Jun 25, 2017)

mather 
Two useful sites that might give you an idea of which path to take:
A to Z : Careers Wales
Adult Directions: Welcome to Adult Directions


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> mather
> Two useful sites that might give you an idea of which path to take:
> A to Z : Careers Wales
> Adult Directions: Welcome to Adult Directions



I don't live in Wales, I'm from London.


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## Orang Utan (Jun 25, 2017)

mather said:


> I don't live in Wales, I'm from London.


It's not about jobs in Wales, it's a very useful site for working out suitable career possibilities.
Check it out.


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## mather (Jun 25, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> It's not about jobs in Wales, it's a very useful site for working out suitable career possibilities.
> Check it out.



Maybe later/tomorrow, I'm off to bed soon, I haven't slept in over two days.


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## catinthehat (Jun 25, 2017)

You mentioned earlier that you were a socialist and a Marxist.  If you are on record or have joined any organisations it can mess with your vetting.  I was in the military in my youth (1970's) and I guess these things do not change much.  My Grandad was on record as being a communist in the 1930s and that held up my vetting for ten weeks (ten weeks of hell in Holding and Drafting Company).  Different roles have different levels of vetting but I think if you were on record as being an active member of any thing Marxist related it could cause problems.  Think rather than know.


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## J Ed (Jun 25, 2017)

My dad was in the army and by all accounts did very well at it then it spat him out and he became an alcoholic and heroin addict. Just don't do it.


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## izz (Jun 25, 2017)

mather, this is a difficult time for you, and all the respondents saying it'll be difficult for you to join the forces, although they're probably correct, probably haven't helped with motivation. You have talents and skills you don't know you have yet, and you don't know about them because you haven't been tested. There are a gabillion things you can do with your life but anything worthwhile will be difficult at first, it will require effort. It may well be worthwhile taking a job you don't much fancy doing, as a way into the job market and possibly as a way into particular organisations. It may mean studying, which is hard, if you haven't done it for a while (I'm 55 and studying and it fair makes my head hurt) but whatever you spend your effort on, every minute's worth of effort repays itself tenfold in all kinds of ways.

I can't help you without knowing more details about your personal situation but if you feel like taking this further then please do PM me.


----------



## hot air baboon (Jun 25, 2017)

oooh just remembered watching a couple of eps. of this recent specimen of that reality tv staple the fly on the wall armed forces training documentary . It was the actual royal marines green beret training - which must be one of the monst intensvie infantry training courses going but they still actually had 2 recruits aged 31 according to this - Frykman & Marks :

Royal Marines Commando School - Channel 4 - Info - Press

there's an ARSSE thread on it here :

Royal Marines Commando School


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

littlebabyjesus said:


> A mate of mine fought in the Falklands. Now, 35 years on, he's struggling to cope with the idea that he killed people, killed kids basically who didn't want to be there. Was in the navy and loved lots of it, but this is the legacy of the military, and it invariably seems to come with age. He's off work atm, in therapy, and struggling to hold himself together as sad thoughts flood his mind.
> 
> I know a few older people who saw action in various British fuck-ups, including Suez and Burma, and there is a pattern there - the older you get, the worse it becomes. The army fucks people up.



I'm sorry for your friend and hope he recovers and finds the peace of mind he deserves. I have no idea how I would react to killing someone and not everyone who does is affected to the degree that some are, such as your friend. Of course I don't want to to end up in a similar situation but I'm running out of time and if military service is the only way I can both support myself and my family, then whatever happens to me is a price worth paying, for their sake rather than mine as I want to do this for them more than myself.


----------



## Brainaddict (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> I'm sorry for your friend and hope he recovers and finds the peace of mind he deserves. I have no idea how I would react to killing someone and not everyone who does is affected to the degree that some are, such as your friend. Of course I don't want to to end up in a similar situation but I'm running out of time and if military service is the only way I can both support myself and my family, then whatever happens to me is a price worth paying, for their sake rather than mine as I want to do this for them more than myself.


I was only idly reading this thread and have no expertise, but I feel like there's something here you're not admitting to. If you really just want to earn a good wage, support your family, and potentially avoid fighting in some ill-advised colonial war, at the very least I'd expect you to be trying to avoid the front-line fighting. I mean, being dead or having PTSD won't be the most helpful things for your family. Yet you actually seem to be pushing yourself forward for the most front-line role, even though most army jobs appropriate for your age are non front line. Why do you think infantry and such roles would be the best way to support your family? Or is there something else motivating your choices?


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## kebabking (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> ... Of course I don't want to to end up in a similar situation but I'm running out of time and if military service is the only way I can both support myself and my family, then whatever happens to me is a price worth paying, for their sake rather than mine as I want to do this for them more than myself.



Sorry Mather, but if this is all you're doing it for then it simply won't work.

The only way you'll get through the stress of training and then the working life is it being what you want to do with your life. No other motivation is going to get you through it.

A career in the military may well be for you, but you need to get away from a place that, from the outside, looks a lot like desperation and despair - give yourself the care you have given others, we all know that carers pay a heavy price, go and see your GP...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jun 26, 2017)

Accountancy. Seriously.


----------



## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

Pac man said:


> Hi mather, fuck the forces mate, do something that will make you proud of yourself. My best friend was your age when she was diagnosed with Dystonia and really thought her life was over, mostly due to the fact it took a couple of years to find a good specialist that got her meds right. She still struggled on aimlessly for a few years but at age 40 she decided to go to college for a year then she did a part time BSC in Social Work. First year she was at uni most days but year 2 only about once or twcie a month, year 3 and 4 was placements, invaluable for job experience. If you have allready been to college and done a year at uni then you should be familiar with learning, it should set you up nicely to get back into the swing of things. It sounds like with your life experience of caring for family, social work could be right up your street. Caring for family is incredibly hard and and you obviously know that. My friend is now absolutley loving her job, shes part of a reviweing and assesment team, life has purpose and shes never been happier. So although your circumstances feel and look bleak, its never too late. Not trying to push you back into education but, its something to consider. I was in my 30s when i went to uni, after leavin school with no qualifications and drifiting in and ouit of shit jobs for many years, depression almost killed me before i enrolled at college..GL whatever you decide to do. Thers lots of different jobs in social work, my friend works in adult care, and visits a few homes a week then works from home writing up assesments, its not taxing or emotionally draining, she brings sunshine into the elderly residents life with her warm smile and friendly socialble personailty..proper loves it she does, shes here with me this morning recovering after a night and day on the lash yesterday..





spanglechick said:


> Have you looked at apprenticeships? Either for a trade or a degree-level apprenticeship?



As I said in my last post, time is running out. As my brothers are getting older, some of the benefits and entitlements that they currently receive are due to end soon on account of their age. This means less money for my family all round and unless I can fill the gap, we will start going hungry. This year is literally make or break and for that very reason I can't afford to spend a year or three years at some university. I can't afford it timewise and moneywise as universities are not free and I literally have no money to pay to go to university and I refuse to get into debt for more studying. I have already incurred student debt from the one year I did at Kingston University before I dropped out and I have yet to pay back single penny for that debt.

Last year I did a three month course at City University in creative writing and journalism (writing is my one passion in life) and it only only cost me £350, which took me a bit of time to save up but was a manageable amount. I would like to become a freelance journalist, that is my dream career. But I know freelance work is not a guaranteed income and it's hard enough to to support myself on that, impossible if I want to support my family too. I have pitched a few articles (Morning Star mostly) but so far no luck, apparently other people pitched their articles on the same topic and got in there before I did. I'm not going to give up on trying to get into journalism/writing but it is going to be a long process, my tutor told me as much during my course. 

If anyone has ideas of getting into journalism then I am all ears but social work is not for me.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

izz said:


> I can't help you without knowing more details about your personal situation but if you feel like taking this further then please do PM me.



I have already described my situation in detail throughout this thread, please re-read it.


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## Yossarian (Jun 26, 2017)

If you really need money and are willing to do demanding and dangerous work that takes you away from your family, oil rigs or fishing trawlers might be a better bet than the Army.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> Accountancy. Seriously.



Lol no, never in a million years would I ever want to become an accountant.


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## not-bono-ever (Jun 26, 2017)

you will never be out of work, will earn decent money and you can do the exams on a flexible basis. if you need a longer term strategy, its a bit more secure than the forces. and accountants rarely get sent to seething  dusty shitholes where everyone wants to kill you.  Well, maybe in Middlesboro....


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## Orang Utan (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> Lol no, never in a million years would I ever want to become an accountant.


have you looked the careers websites I posted?


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

Yossarian said:


> If you really need money and are willing to do demanding and dangerous work that takes you away from your family, oil rigs or fishing trawlers might be a better bet than the Army.



Thanks but neither of those options appeals to me, sorry. My entire career history to date has been doing shit jobs I hated and I want to finally do something that I enjoy as well as supporting my family.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> you will never be out of work, will earn decent money and you can do the exams on a flexible basis. if you need a longer term strategy, its a bit more secure than the forces. and accountants rarely get sent to seething  dusty shitholes where everyone wants to kill you.  Well, maybe in Middlesboro....



Sorry, no. Not interested, I fucking hate accounting. I want to so something I love and accountancy along with law/legal work is the very last thing I would want to do.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> have you looked the careers websites I posted?



No. I will later but I need to take a few days to just clear my head, the more I think about all this the more down and depressed I'm feeling. Before anything else I just need to get some air and clear my head, the stress is really starting to get to me.


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## mojo pixy (Jun 26, 2017)

There are always vacancies pretty much everywhere supporting people with learning disabilities and / or mental health needs. It's not amazing pay to start; minimum wage but you wouldn't be on that for long if you got regular hours from one employer rather than an agency. As long as you aint working for an agency there can be career progression too - and it saves on being physically and psychologically bullied and broken by the military. No age limit on beginning, most companies / charities will offer on-the-job training leading to recognized qualifications (usually NVQs). The people you'll work with are mostly nice, decent people, and there are a number of career paths to follow from 'the bottom', so to speak.



mather said:


> I have three brothers who are autistic, one of them more so than the other two and he is unlikely to ever get a job so if I can't support him no one will. If we lived in a decent world he would be supported for his entire life, but we don't and the welfare state and all the support it provides looks like it won't be around in the future with the way things are going.



That will certainly be the case if nobody wants to do the work.


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## kebabking (Jun 26, 2017)

It's worth baring in mind that recruitment into the forces is not quick - 6 months to a year is about average - if you need money now, go to Peterborough or Huntingdon and get agricultural/picking work. It's fucking hard grind, but the money is better than minimum wage.

You are not going to get into the forces given the way you describe your motivation. Given how much it costs to recruit someone, train them and have them leave 8 weeks into their career, the Army takes a great deal of care to try and weed out those who don't want it enough to get through the unrelenting grimness of phase one training. You don't - it appears - want to join for the right reasons, and you will bin it the fist time you throw up on a run, or get your kit thrown across the room because your uniform was stacked in the wrong order, or you wake up in wet clothes in the pissing rain on a bleak training area knowing you've a full days graft ahead of you.

I know that, and your recruiter will know that 5 minutes after meeting you. 

Get your head sorted out, decide if the Army is something you want to do for yourself, and then think about it.


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## felixthecat (Jun 26, 2017)

PFA (personal fitness assessment) standards for your age:
46 press ups in 2 mins
41 sit ups in 2 mins
1.5 miles in 11 minutes 

AFT(annual fitness test) 
8miles carrying 20kg (infantry) in full kit in 2 hrs over varying (usually hilly) terrain

And that's just the must do fitness tests. Infantry regiments do AFTs for fun. It's HARD for older guys, even for ones that have been in for years and are conditioned to it. 

But I think it would be the rank structure and lack of peers that would really have you. Being bawled out by some snippy little 20 something lance Jack etc. Honestly, look elsewhere.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

mojo pixy said:


> There are always vacancies pretty much everywhere supporting people with learning disabilities and / or mental health needs. It's not amazing pay (minimum wage is the start but you wouldn't be on that for long if you got regular hours from one employer rather than an agency). As long as you aint working for an agency there can be career progression too - and it saves on being physically and psychologically bullied and broken by the military. No age limit on beginning, most companies / charities will offer on-the-job training leading to recognized qualifications (usually NVQs). The people you'll work with are mostly nice, decent people, and there are a number of career paths to follow from 'the bottom', so to speak.



I know you are trying to help but I'm starting to tire in having to keep repeating myself, *I don't want to work as a professional carer or in social work*. It is not for me and it is a career I have zero interest in. I only did it for my brother because I had to as there was no one else there for him. I don't have the emotional temperament nor patience for it.

If anything being a carer has fucked up my own mental health with all the stress and I feel like I'm in some type of mental prison. I want to break out of that.



mojo pixy said:


> That will certainly be the case if nobody wants to do the work.



I was alluding at the all the cuts, austerity and privatisation. There will always be those who love social work and will want to do it however I'm not one of those people.


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## mojo pixy (Jun 26, 2017)

Fair enough.


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## purenarcotic (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> Lol, no I'm not that new but I thought you were trying to imply that I wasn't serious about signing up rather than anything political.
> 
> You will have to add me to leftie list as I am, politically speaking, a socialist and a Marxist. I'm not a pacifist though and were I alive back in 1939 I would have had no qualms about signing up and fighting against Germany. I just happen to think we should use our armed forces to defend this country, not for any imperialist adventures, invading/attacking countries that have no beef with us (Serbia/Iraq/Libya) or liberal interventionism.



But you could be sent to those kinds of conflicts and you'll have no say about it, you'll be expected to put up and shut up.


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## 5t3IIa (Jun 26, 2017)

Can you do admin? Ordinary office bollocks? How is your CV looking? I mean literally - does it look neat and professional and you're happy with it?


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## TruXta (Jun 26, 2017)

Yossarian said:


> If you really need money and are willing to do demanding and dangerous work that takes you away from your family, oil rigs or fishing trawlers might be a better bet than the Army.


No jobs on rigs anymore, plus you need some seriously expensive health and safety courses to even get on board one.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

kebabking said:


> It's worth baring in mind that recruitment into the forces is not quick - 6 months to a year is about average - if you need money now, go to Peterborough or Huntingdon and get agricultural/picking work. It's fucking hard grind, but the money is better than minimum wage.
> 
> You are not going to get into the forces given the way you describe your motivation. Given how much it costs to recruit someone, train them and have them leave 8 weeks into their career, the Army takes a great deal of care to try and weed out those who don't want it enough to get through the unrelenting grimness of phase one training. You don't - it appears - want to join for the right reasons, and you will bin it the fist time you throw up on a run, or get your kit thrown across the room because your uniform was stacked in the wrong order, or you wake up in wet clothes in the pissing rain on a bleak training area knowing you've a full days graft ahead of you.
> 
> ...



You may well be right but honestly the appeal of the Army is that it can give me direction, discipline, adventure and purpose, three thing I really need and that lacking in my life at the moment. Not many jobs, especially civilian jobs, are able to offer all of that. I didn't get that when I worked behind the bar or in nightclubs, I didn't get that stacking boxes in a warehouse and I didn't get that doing telesales.

I have been trying to get bar jobs as out of all the different jobs I had it was the most enjoyable and least stressful. That was my plan a year ago, get bar work to give me a wage and then use my spare time to try and develop my writing career and break into journalism and if I did make it as a writer/journalist then at some point I could give my day job and become a full time writer/journalist in my own right.

But I have had no luck with finding bar jobs recently because there are less of them about these days and the number of people after that type of work has increased dramatically.


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## mojo pixy (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> I know you are trying to help but I'm starting to tire in having to keep repeating myself, *I don't want to work as a professional carer or in social work*. It is not for me and it is a career I have zero interest in.



I felt just the same a few years ago btw. Without going into detail, I needed a job and the qualifications I actually had weren't getting me what I needed. I needed flexible, not-full-time work, that didn't bore me shitless. I didn't want to go agency and I'd had enough of being self-employed and constantly chasing new clients.

In the end I made a move into social care and I've never regretted it, despite my severe misgivings at the start.


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## TruXta (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> You may well be right but honestly the appeal of the Army is that it can give me direction, discipline, adventure and purpose, three thing I really need and that lacking in my life at the moment. Not many jobs, especially civilian jobs, are able to offer all of that. I didn't get that when I worked behind the bar or in nightclubs, I didn't get that stacking boxes in a warehouse and I didn't get that doing telesales.
> 
> I have been trying to get bar jobs as out of all the different jobs I had it was the most enjoyable and least stressful. That was my plan a year ago, get bar work to give me a wage and then use my spare time to try and develop my writing career and break into journalism and if I did make it as a writer/journalist then at some point I could give my day job and become a full time writer/journalist in my own right.
> 
> But I have had no luck with finding bar jobs recently because there are less of them about these days and the number of people after that type of work has increased dramatically.


You want to write yeah? Have you looked at freelance writing gigs? Upwork for instance?


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## DownwardDog (Jun 26, 2017)

kebabking said:


> Nnnnnnnnngggggghhhhhhhhhhhgggg!¡!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> (I'm being baited, must resist, I must resist!)



You know RAFR is the answer. This time next year LAC Mather could be pistol whipping drone protestors at Waddo with a Glock 17 before having a nice cup of Bovril and a look at an RC-135W.


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## kebabking (Jun 26, 2017)

DownwardDog said:


> You know RAFR is the answer. This time next year LAC Mather could be pistol whipping drone protestors at Waddo with a Glock 17 before having a nice cup of Bovril and a look at an RC-135W.



or brassing up his own body armour after heroicly manning the barrier, eating ice creams and giving _outside the wire_ The Thousand Yard Stare?

(i'm sorry, i'm weak, i couldn't resist it any longer - i'm a victim too...)


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

felixthecat said:


> PFA (personal fitness assessment) standards for your age:
> 46 press ups in 2 mins
> 41 sit ups in 2 mins
> 1.5 miles in 11 minutes
> ...



Ok, I know I couldn't do that, not in my current physical state and I would need least a year of hard work and exercise to even get to such a state. As for the lance Jacks, I'd just end up in a lot of fights, lol.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

DownwardDog said:


> You know RAFR is the answer. This time next year LAC Mather could be pistol whipping drone protestors at Waddo with a Glock 17 before having a nice cup of Bovril and a look at an RC-135W.





kebabking said:


> or brassing up his own body armour after heroicly manning the barrier, eating ice creams and giving _outside the wire_ The Thousand Yard Stare?
> 
> (i'm sorry, i'm weak, i couldn't resist it any longer - i'm a victim too...)



I have no idea what either of you are on about. Reminds me of being with my b/f, after leaving the Army he became a policeman and I never got all the in work jargon he would use.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Can you do admin? Ordinary office bollocks? How is your CV looking? I mean literally - does it look neat and professional and you're happy with it?



Whatever I end up doing, it won't be office or sales jobs. Been there, done that and I hated it.


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## DownwardDog (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> As for the lance Jacks, I'd just end up in a lot of fights, lol.



Have honestly thought about what life in the forces is like? You live in very close proximity to your peers and have to learn to get along with them. If you get in a "lot of fights" two things will happen. A) you will get the absolute shit kicked out of you by somebody younger, stronger and meaner. B) you will end up at MCTC Colchester wherein the kicking you received in A) will seem pleasurable by comparison.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

DownwardDog said:


> Have honestly thought about what life in the forces is like? You live in very close proximity to your peers and have to learn to get along with them. If you get in a "lot of fights" two things will happen. A) you will get the absolute shit kicked out of you by somebody younger, stronger and meaner. B) you will end up at MCTC Colchester wherein the kicking you received in A) will seem pleasurable by comparison.



I don't go looking for fights but if anyone is an areshole to me I'll be an arsehole back to them, I generally treat others in the same manner they treat me. Haven't really had much fights recently but had enough of them at high school. I'll admit that I can snap and if someone is an arsehole then there are button they can push that would set off but isn't that true of everyone? I'm sure there are things people can do or say that would set you off.


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## catinthehat (Jun 26, 2017)

Seconded.  The memory of being made to clean a floor with a toothbrush for starting a sentence with 'I would have thought' (the response being 'it is not your job to think' followed by a lot of shouting then an order to clean the floor with said toothbrush) by a person that daily failed to get more than three words on a Sun crossword still stings.  I imagine it is annoying to hear all these warning tales when you have identified a possible solution to your situation but its one of those jobs that you never know what it will be like till you are in it and as it features signing long contracts that can be hard or costly to get out of I hope you don't feel people are trying to put you off needlessly.  Really once you are in there is no room for critical engagement with anything - you just do it and shut up or receive punishments that can be both cruel and unusual.  For some people the peer groups, banter and such keep them going but if you have worries about people on the outside (and it is a case of being inside or outside - civillians are a breed apart once you are immersed) and/or dont fit with the group - which being slightly older might be the case (ask yourself how much laddish 'bants' and silly rituals you can deal with).

I really hope you do find a solution and all credit to you for putting your family firmly in your decision making.


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## B.I.G (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> I don't go looking for fights but if anyone is an areshole to me I'll be an arsehole back to them, I generally treat others in the same manner they treat me. Haven't really had much fights recently but had enough of them at high school. I'll admit that I can snap and if someone is an arsehole then there are button they can push that would set off but isn't that true of everyone? I'm sure there are things people can do or say that would set you off.



Please don't join the army. You seem fairly self-aware based on this post. This post and the army are not going to mix well.


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## dessiato (Jun 26, 2017)

catinthehat said:


> You mentioned earlier that you were a socialist and a Marxist.  If you are on record or have joined any organisations it can mess with your vetting.  I was in the military in my youth (1970's) and I guess these things do not change much.  My Grandad was on record as being a communist in the 1930s and that held up my vetting for ten weeks (ten weeks of hell in Holding and Drafting Company).  Different roles have different levels of vetting but I think if you were on record as being an active member of any thing Marxist related it could cause problems.  Think rather than know.


This is what killed my career. I was in lust with a blond woman who was a member of the International Socialists who were IRA sympathetic. In an attempt to get my leg over I joined. Later it was pointed out that it was incompatible with my status as an officer. I was invited to leave.


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## planetgeli (Jun 26, 2017)

DownwardDog said:


> Have honestly thought about what life in the forces is like? You live in very close proximity to your peers and have to learn to get along with them. If you get in a "lot of fights" two things will happen. A) you will get the absolute shit kicked out of you by somebody younger, stronger and meaner. B) you will end up at MCTC Colchester wherein the kicking you received in A) will seem pleasurable by comparison.



And then you'll get weekend release so you can go into Colchester town centre to drink and kick the shit out of students. And so the cycle continues. 

(I went to the University of Essex, been there, fought with the squaddies. Not recommended.)


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## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 26, 2017)

If you want physical work, surrounded by hard blokes, that takes you away from home for periods of time, has lots of camaraderie, doesn't require any formal qualifications and pays fairly well, don't join the army.

Become a roadie. Or, more specifically, what the industry calls "local crew". Essentially you unload trucks at arenas and other venues and move heavy as fuck boxes to where they're needed.


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## hot air baboon (Jun 26, 2017)

dessiato said:


> This is what killed my career. I was in lust with a blond woman who was a member of the International Socialists who were IRA sympathetic. In an attempt to get my leg over I joined. Later it was pointed out that it was incompatible with my status as an officer. I was invited to leave.



...should have said you were on an under-cover mission...


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## catinthehat (Jun 26, 2017)

hot air baboon said:


> ...should have said you were on an under-cover mission...


But you should have been told that a winning smile makes a more convincing female.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

dessiato said:


> This is what killed my career. I was in lust with a blond woman who was a member of the International Socialists who were IRA sympathetic. In an attempt to get my leg over I joined. Later it was pointed out that it was incompatible with my status as an officer. I was invited to leave.





Lol, guys do the dumbest things when sex is involved, or even just the chance of it. I have done a few things that I'd rather forget.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

BTW, did you get lucky with her or was it all for nowt?


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## spanglechick (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> As I said in my last post, time is running out. As my brothers are getting older, some of the benefits and entitlements that they currently receive are due to end soon on account of their age. This means less money for my family all round and unless I can fill the gap, we will start going hungry. This year is literally make or break and for that very reason I can't afford to spend a year or three years at some university. I can't afford it timewise and moneywise as universities are not free and I literally have no money to pay to go to university and I refuse to get into debt for more studying. I have already incurred student debt from the one year I did at Kingston University before I dropped out and I have yet to pay back single penny for that debt.
> 
> Last year I did a three month course at City University in creative writing and journalism (writing is my one passion in life) and it only only cost me £350, which took me a bit of time to save up but was a manageable amount. I would like to become a freelance journalist, that is my dream career. But I know freelance work is not a guaranteed income and it's hard enough to to support myself on that, impossible if I want to support my family too. I have pitched a few articles (Morning Star mostly) but so far no luck, apparently other people pitched their articles on the same topic and got in there before I did. I'm not going to give up on trying to get into journalism/writing but it is going to be a long process, my tutor told me as much during my course.
> 
> If anyone has ideas of getting into journalism then I am all ears but social work is not for me.


This is why I mentioned degree level apprenticeships.  You get paid (apprenticeship wages but better than nothing) while you earn your degree in a workplace environment, and you pay no fees.  

There are some very good employers offering these.  Right now the national theatre has one in technical theatre, which I know is a world-class bit of training.   It may well be that you can get them in writing, or loads of other non office-based careers.


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## mather (Jun 26, 2017)

Speaking of dumb things, I should have joined when I was younger as it was something I considered but from what everyone here has told me it looks like I have left it too late, especially after seeing what is required of me physically and the personal fitness programme. As I said before I'm not gonna rush with anything, I need some time to just clear my head and think clearly about what I want to do and what I need. 

But a huge thanks to all of you, you have been great and very informative and helpful. I'm gonna keep you all updated as to what I am doing, I feel kinda obligated to now as you have all spent so much time and effort helping me out. 

A big  to you all.


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## kebabking (Jun 26, 2017)

mather said:


> BTW, did you get lucky with her or was it all for nowt?



dessiato  probably fell out of the window while trying to take his pants off...


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## dessiato (Jun 26, 2017)

I didn't get lucky. I didn't see her again either. Her husband was an ok sort though.


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## not-bono-ever (Jun 26, 2017)

anyway mather - there are options out there but they will likely take a bit of commitment and maybe a longer term planand getting some more qualifications/ skills. I was only half jking about accountancy as well- a couple of friends did at as a desperate last resort for security and it worked out OK for them -took some time though -  neither of them were obvious candidates for it either


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## urbanspaceman (Jun 27, 2017)

Mather

I just came across this thread, and was struck by the patience and sympathy of my fellow U75ers. Despite their advice and insights, you seem to have decided to wait until you’re another six months older, and then try to get into the army, presumably no fitter than you are now, since “_you don't really do running_”, and “_haven't been to a gym in the last two years_”.  So, I’m going to try something different.

Here is a list of suggestions you rejected:

*Education*: _I found Uni shit_
*Admin*: _I don't want an army desk job_
*Engineering/Technical*: _Engineering is the last thing I would want to do, I hate the subject it bores me to death_.
*Medical:* _I have never wanted to do anything medical _
*Aviation/technical*: _never wanted to be a pilot and I'm not good with tech_
*Accountancy*: _never in a million years would I ever want to become an accountant_
*Law*_: law/legal work is the very last thing I would want to do_
*Social Work*: _I don't want to work as a professional carer or in social work_
*Sales/Admin*: _Whatever I end up doing, it won't be office or sales jobs_
*Maritime*: _I hate the sea and the idea of being on a ship all the time would bore me shitless_
You are constructing a trap for yourself, talking about joining the army, while delaying actually doing something about it. Now, I’m the ultimate civilian, but I work with soldiers leaving the army during their transition to the civilian world. And this I can tell you, your idea of joining the army is a threadbare fantasy. Your notion of army life bears no relation to its actuality, which is quite mundane and highly social, requiring you to be around your fellow soldiers all the time, while not irritating them. You have no experience of working in teams with other adults. You will be required to follow orders, and people will undoubtedly be “arseholes” to you. And you will be expected to suck it up.

Your idea of army life is like something from “Call of Duty”, a teenage fantasy:

_Would consider being a sniper _- you could only compete to apply for sniper school after a few years, and temperamentally snipers are a rare breed
_Anything combat heavy, infantry most likely _- few soldiers are true warriors, who live for combat. You’re not one of them, as you are a 36-year-old civilian
_Marxist/use our armed forces to defend this country – _they will spot your various political postures during recruitment, and reject you. They don’t need a troublemaker in ranks, getting on his colleagues’ nerves
_I'd just end up in a lot of fights – _and be discharged pronto
_if anyone is an areshole to me I'll be an arsehole back _– it doesn’t work that way
_I have no idea how I would react to killing someone – _psychodrama
_losing my leg or arm or dying in some ditch in some _warzone – more CoD psychodrama
Unless you can successfully dissemble completely during the application process, consistently portraying yourself as a different person, you won’t be accepted. The Army has been recruiting and assessing people for a long, long time, so my money is on the Army seeing through you.

You’re picky:

_I'm kinda done with places that are just job sites/recruitment agencies_
_I need a guaranteed job offer, not a process of interviews _(by the way, what makes you think the Army works differently ?)
_I'm fed up with interviews that lead nowhere. For me this is the deal breaker_
Well, that’s how the world works for the rest of us. Is there any reason why things should be different for you ?

_I would like to become a freelance journalist, that is my dream career_ – and you already have it. You *are* a freelance journalist, right now.
_If anyone has ideas of getting into journalism – _write articles. Write more. Write well, about interesting topics, from an original perspective. And keep at it until someone pays you for it.
Journalists must have an eye for detail. Why might this wording be rejected by an editor: “_the appeal of the Army is that it can give me direction, discipline, adventure and purpose, three thing I really need_”

You come across as angry, miserable, negative and aggressive. And unless you possess valuable counterbalancing skills, people will avoid the hassle of dealing with you. I suggest:

Visit your GP and find out whether a course of SSRIs might help ameliorate your mood
Start writing – decide on a topic that fascinates you, research the hell out of it, interview people in the field, and write some interesting and unexpected words
Get a job, any job. It’s not forever, but it will get you out of the house and into the world. This is London – jobs do exist for people capable of deploying the basic suite of interpersonal, manual, verbal and quantitative skills. Then a get a better job, and rinse and repeat.
Do it now. London is not kind, neither is it cruel. It's indifferent, but it does hold opportunities. You as a 36-year-old adult, are solely responsible for making your life.


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## Mr.Bishie (Jun 27, 2017)

Don't do it ffs


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## trabuquera (Jun 27, 2017)

and mather - you do know that journalism as a whole has very little future as a profession, right? There are fewer and fewer people with paid fulltime jobs in journalism and even fewer freelancers who actually manage to live on what they earn - it's very irregular work and not well-paid even when you can get it. Most freelancers who *do* make a living from it are really really focused, not just on  their writing/research skills, but also on being their own money-and man-managers and able to cost out every minute of their time. And often they make their real survival money from other stuff (like ads on blogs, proofreading for others, merchandising if they have a particularly strong personal 'brand', giving talks, media appearance fees, etc.) There's a lot more money-grubbing and a lot less journalism involved than you might think. Plenty of people who want to be journos channel these urges into writing blogs / local media / or even books, and knuckling down to a boring-but-stable day job for actually buying food.

If you are desperate for stable work and a good wage to support your family, 'freelance journalism' is maybe the last thing you should pursue (apart from killing people for a living.)
However, there are still (but who knows for how long) plenty of satellite roles in journalism like subediting, web maintenance / moderation, online publishing etc - they can be boring and routine but at least they get you into the media sphere and make it easier to make splashes.


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