# I am willing to pay £300 for a Marketing dissertation.



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

First off, im not sure if this type of thread is really allowed on the boards, if not, please forgive me, i mean no harm. 

Did anyone here take Marketing as a degree subject at university? Do you still have your dissertation? Can you prove it is of 2:1 standard? If so, i would like to purchase it off you. 

Please feel free to pm me for further correspondance.

I'm not asking because im not capable of writing one, but i have left everything to the last minute (as normal) and have got myself into a bit of a situation. My fault of course, so im looking for the cheap (or not so cheap!) way out. Thank you.

Edited to add: If you prefered i will donate the money to a charity of your choice, or the U75 server fund, its up to you.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Tut tut


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Tut tut




lol, you dont approve?


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## sojourner (Apr 29, 2007)

You don't seriously think you could get away with it, do you?


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## Dante (Apr 29, 2007)

i think that this could make quite a few interesting column inches on plagarism at universities. Quite a popular topic in teh press this time of year. Maybe asking for help with the dissertation would be slightly less... provocative?


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## Dante (Apr 29, 2007)

oh, and btw, could loss you the degree at any point, as well as lead to instant dismissal from anyjob where they find out. and people are very good at finding out now.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> lol, you dont approve?


Do what you want fella, but you are fucked.


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## Tom A (Apr 29, 2007)

Even I never thought of doing such a thing when I was in the final throes of fucking up my geography dissertation two years ago. I just accpeted that I was screwed.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

I believe i can get away with it enough to offer up £300. How is my university going to know that the work isn't mine? I'm not particularly proud of doing this, but i have to do what i have to do.

My department has over a 100 to mark, i dont see how they are going to suspect that there is anything different to mine when compared to the rest. I also find it highly unlikely that they are going to come across this thread and trace it back to me.

Just to add, if you prefered, i would donate the money to a charity of your choice, or to the U75 server fund, its up to you.

If all else fails i can go for a deadline extension.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Tom A said:
			
		

> Even I never thought of doing such a thing when I was in the final throes of fucking up my geography dissertation two years ago. I just accpeted that I was screwed.




I dont want to be screwed though.


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## sojourner (Apr 29, 2007)

Go for the extension and do it yourself

Don't use someone else's ideas


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## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

I wonder if Onslow is a journalist trying to get a story.  It is too blatant to be a genuine request.  I like the bit about demanding that it be worth a 2:1.  

Last in


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I dont want to be screwed though.


But you are.
If you haven't done the work, you don't deserve the certificate. 
Get an extension.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> I wonder if Onslow is a journalist trying to get a story.  It is too blatant to be a genuine request.  I like the bit about demanding that it be worth a 2:1.
> 
> Last in



Well if im paying £300 i dont want a Desmond!

The post is pretty blatent, but i didnt see any point of dancing around the matter. Im not a journo


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Isn't 2.1 a bit greedy? Given that you've been a lazy git and haven't done any of the work, what makes you think you deserve better than a third?


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

£300 is fuck all for someone else's hard work


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

£300 is £300 to someone out there somewhere. They have done the work and moved on, profiting from it cant be a bad thing.


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

If you are being serious, remember that the dissertation is being marked by people who have presumably seen genuine work by you over the years. You will have a certain unique rhythm to your writing, and they will be on the look out for styles that jar with what they know of the candidate. For the sakes of those who have done the work and received a genuine, say, 2.2, if you do find someone, I sincerely wish you the worst of luck, and hope that you are caught.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

You profiting from it academically is though.


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## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

You can have the dissertation I'm marking at the moment for a tenner if you want. 

It's called "what it would be like to live on mars" and is written by a 12 year old, but most of the words are spelled correctly and he's drawn a lovely picture of a martian on the cover...


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Ok guys, i realise that this is not a particularly moral thing to be doing, and i realise that i dont deserve the certificate if i have not put in the work. I dont need the ethical reminders because im fully aware of them.


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

The picture of the martian is worth £100 on its own, surely.


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Ok guys, i realise that this is not a particularly moral thing to be doing, and i realise that i dont deserve the certificate if i have not put in the work. I dont need the ethical reminders because im fully aware of them.


Yeah you do.

YOU ARE A CHEATING CUNT.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> You profiting from it academically is though.



I know i am, but why would the person im buying it off care? Its not going to affect their life atall.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

littlebabyjesus said:
			
		

> Yeah you do.
> 
> YOU ARE A CHEATING CUNT.



Yawn.
Point being?


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## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

I would have thought that anyone who knew about Marketing would know the the marketable value of their secondhand dissertation would be very high if the buyer is in a bit of a spot.  I would estimate that a figure about £2,000 pounds would be a starting point.  

I really hope this isn't a genuine request, it would justify all the crap that is circulating in the media about falling standards at degree level and students plagiarising work.


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I know i am, but why would the person im buying it off care? Its not going to affect their life atall.


You are wrong there. They would be contributing in a small way to an injustice, and injustice affects us all.


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Yawn.
> Point being?


Point being, why don't you just fuck off?


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## sojourner (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I know i am, but why would the person im buying it off care? Its not going to affect their life atall.


I wouldn't personally sell my own ideas. I put a fuck of a lot of work into them.  I wouldn't sell them to someone who hadn't bothered to do the work, and I'm not sure many people would


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## Thora (Apr 29, 2007)

I've never studied marketing, but I'll write you a dissertation for £300.


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## Thora (Apr 29, 2007)

sojourner said:
			
		

> I wouldn't personally sell my own ideas. I put a fuck of a lot of work into them.  I wouldn't sell them to someone who hadn't bothered to do the work, and I'm not sure many people would


I would!


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Hey Onslow, I've found your bed:





Try lying in it fella


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## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

littlebabyjesus said:
			
		

> The picture of the martian is worth £100 on its own, surely.


it would be if it wasn't wearing a watford strip


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Thora said:
			
		

> I've never studied marketing, but I'll write you a dissertation for £300.


£300 is nowt for the amount of work you'd have to put in - you'd make more in a sweatshop


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

littlebabyjesus said:
			
		

> Point being, why don't you just fuck off?





This is my thread, why dont you.


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## Thora (Apr 29, 2007)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Hey Onslow, I've found your bed:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Give over!!!  

I've never done a dissertation so I don't know how much work is involved OU - if £300 is too little, what should I be asking for?


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

At least a couple of grand - a dissertation takes a good few months of research, planning, redrafting etc etc


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## Thora (Apr 29, 2007)

OK, I'll do it for the bargain price of £1500 Onslow since you seem like a nice boy


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Who are you and what are your credentials?

£2000? I could two for that price from here:

http://customwriting.co.uk/


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## Yossarian (Apr 29, 2007)

Just start a cleverly-worded thread on these here bulletin boards inviting discussion of whatever topic you want your dissertation to be on, if you´re lucky people will fall for the bait and write the fucker for you for free.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Who are you and what are your credentials?
> 
> £2000? I could two for that price from here:
> 
> http://customwriting.co.uk/


Go on then


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

No


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## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Who are you and what are your credentials?
> 
> £2000? I could two for that price from here:
> 
> http://customwriting.co.uk/


on you go then...


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> No


So you're not just a lazy cheat, but a tight lazy cheat...


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Not atall, if you put it into a ratio, £300 is alot compared to amount of money in my account.


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## jæd (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Ok guys, i realise that this is not a particularly moral thing to be doing, and i realise that i dont deserve the certificate if i have not put in the work. I dont need the ethical reminders because im fully aware of them.



If you don't deserve it then why do you want it. You'll be a cheating cunt.

Another reason why you shouldn't cheat your dissertation. For my first few interviews after graduating I was asked to explain my dissertation. If I'd cheated then I would've been spotted a mile of.

Dissertations are also a lot of effort. In future if anyone finds out you cheated they will also thing you are a cheat. (And if they are your employers they might sack you)

So... Don't do it. Unless you want to be a cheating, lying cunt. Which you seem to want to be...


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow, in the time you've been on here trying to cheat, you could have been writing your dissertation. Get studying, you lazy fuck.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

jæd said:
			
		

> If you don't deserve it then why do you want it. You'll be a cheating cunt.
> 
> Another reason why you shouldn't cheat your dissertation. For my first few interviews after graduating I was asked to explain my dissertation. If I'd cheated then I would've been spotted a mile of.
> 
> ...



Yes, its been my life long ambition to be a cheating lying cunt 

If i do get a dissertation i will read it and learn whats it about and hows it been written, so if asked in an interview, id be able to explain it. 

I dont plan on informing my future employers that i cheated on the most important piece of work i ever submitted.


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## laptop (Apr 29, 2007)

How long does this dissertation have to be?

Thing is, I'm thinking £200 per thousand words considering it as magazine syndication. So that'd be around £1k? £1.5k? £more?

Then there's the buyer-in-a-spot element of the pricing. £2k? £3k? Seems in the right ball-park (looks at other estimates coming in... yess...)


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## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

Yossarian said:
			
		

> Just start a cleverly-worded thread on these here bulletin boards inviting discussion of whatever topic you want your dissertation to be on, if you´re lucky people will fall for the bait and write the fucker for you for free.



There may be some truth in that but editing and collating the contradictory views would take a bit of time.  Also deleting all the insults and derogatory remarks along with the smileys and web abbreviations would be tiresome.  There is also the risk that it would get visited by one of our old trolling friends and end up in the bin before the main question was answered.

I still wonder if Onslow isn't a journalist or a perhaps student of journalism writing an article along the lines "Anarchist Web Site in Cheating Students Scam".

In fact that is such a good idea that I might write the article myself.  It would be worth a few pennies from the Daily Excess. 

Oh dear I have stolen Onslow's idea - that's plagiarism.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

littlebabyjesus said:
			
		

> Onslow, in the time you've been on here trying to cheat, you could have been writing your dissertation. Get studying, you lazy fuck.



Looks like im going to have to 
Thanks for nothing!


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

littlebabyjesus said:
			
		

> Onslow, in the time you've been on here trying to cheat, you could have been writing your dissertation. Get studying, you lazy fuck.



Lmao.

And to fuck up a _Marketing_ degree? It's hardly the most rigorous or demanding of "academic" subjects, is it? Lemme guess? The New University of the Isle of Dogs, specialising in _not-very-specific-but-very-modern-sounding-subjects_?

If I could be bothered, there's probably a gag in a marketing student trying to con his/her way to a degree; good experience for their future marketing dark arts.

</end _hope you get caught_ mode>


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> Lmao.
> 
> And to fuck up a _Marketing_ degree? It's hardly the most rigorous or demanding of "academic" subjects, is it? Lemme guess? The New University of the Isle of Dogs, specialising in _not-very-specific-but-very-modern-sounding-subjects_?
> 
> ...




Its a Bsc, so it involves lots of economics, statistics, analytical work, mathematics...so pretty "academic".
But yeah, nice and patronising post, well done.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Its a Bsc, so it involves lots of economics, statistics, analytical work, mathematics...so pretty "academic".
> But yeah, nice and patronising post, well done.



_Oooooooooooooh_. Stats! Economics! I guess if you'd worked for your A-levels, you could have gone to a _proper_ uni and done a single honours degree in say, Econometrics! That has lots of analysis, economics and hard sums. 

Patronising? Me? Better that than a liar, a thief and a cheat, eh?


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Its a Bsc, so it involves lots of economics, statistics, analytical work, mathematics...so pretty "academic".
> But yeah, nice and patronising post, well done.


Don't you take that tone on here, young man/lady. 

And how do you know what your degree involves? The prospectus?


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## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> First off, im not sure if this type of thread is really allowed on the boards, if not, please forgive me, i mean no harm.
> 
> Did anyone here take Marketing as a degree subject at university? Do you still have your dissertation? Can you prove it is of 2:1 standard? If so, i would like to purchase it off you.
> 
> ...




Ya cheating cunt, do the work yourself ya lazy fucker


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow, your green light's still on. Log off and go and do some work. You can still get a good few hours in tonight.


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## Crispy (Apr 29, 2007)

This man sounds perfect for the world of marketing


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## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

^ Teehee, yeah


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> _Oooooooooooooh_. Stats! Economics! I guess if you'd worked for your A-levels, you could have gone to a _proper_ uni and done a single honours degree in say, Econometrics! That has lots of analysis, economics and hard sums.
> 
> Patronising? Me? Better that than a liar, a thief and a cheat, eh?




Sorry snob, what universities would you consider to be "proper"? Because £300 says i am at one.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

littlebabyjesus said:
			
		

> And how do you know what your degree involves? The prospectus?



Lmao.

**high fives littlebabyjesus**

... Onslow had to ask a grown-up for "help" with the big words (at £300 per word). And now it has red crayon marks all over it...


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

And can i just say, for the record, has NO ONE here ever told a little white lie to get ahead? Everyone here has been 100% completely honest in everything they have ever done? I have been around these parts for some time i know what type of people you are, dont any of you try and get the moral upperhand with me.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Sorry snob, what universities would you consider to be "proper"? Because £300 says i am at one.



Nah, Onslow. Not a "snob". I managed to breeze through my academic life without having to resort to being a cheat. 4 top A-levels, 2:1 from one of the very best unis in the UK. Accepted as a part-time Phd student at my _alma mater_. All good. All my own work. Started at a "bog standard" comp, as well. 

Anyway - tell me where you're "studying", and I'll give you my considered opinion of the academic ivory tower you're at.


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## Crispy (Apr 29, 2007)

I cheated on some exams at school


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Little lie yes.

Passing off someone else's work as my own, never.

It's something called self respect.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> And can i just say, for the record, has NO ONE here ever told a little white lie to get ahead? Everyone here has been 100% completely honest in everything they have ever done? I have been around these parts for some time i know what type of people you are, dont any of you try and get the moral upperhand with me.


Academically, no.
And I have never lied on a job application


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## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

^Onslow - but for fucks sakes theres white lies and outright cheating


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> And can i just say, for the record, has NO ONE here ever told a little white lie to get ahead? Everyone here has been 100% completely honest in everything they have ever done? I have been around these parts for some time i know what type of people you are, dont any of you try and get the moral upperhand with me.



Your position is untenable and indefensible.


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## jæd (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Yes, its been my life long ambition to be a cheating lying cunt



Whats it like to achieve your life long ambition...?




			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> If i do get a dissertation i will read it and learn whats it about and hows it been written, so if asked in an interview, id be able to explain it.



Then why not just do the work...?  




			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> I dont plan on informing my future employers that i cheated on the most important piece of work i ever submitted.



Just think. To avoid everyone knowing you are a cunt you will have to hide this from *everyone*... And someday it will come out. And they will know you are a cunt.

 x 1000 @ Onslow...


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> Nah, Onslow. Not a "snob". I managed to breeze through my academic life without having to resort to being a cheat. 4 top A-levels, 2:1 from one of the very best unis in the UK. Accepted as a part-time Phd student at my _alma mater_. All good. All my own work. Started at a "bog standard" comp, as well.
> 
> Anyway - tell me where you're "studying", and I'll give you my considered opinion of the academic ivory tower you're at.



Well congratulations on being academically gifted. I didnt ask you to tell me any of that, seeing as though i couldnt give a shit, so christ knows why you did


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

littlebabyjesus said:
			
		

> It's something called self respect.



Whats that?


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Well congratulations on being academically gifted. I didnt ask you to tell me any of that, seeing as though i couldnt give a shit, so christ knows why you did



...just hoping to grind down what little self-respect you have left, cheater. 

Anyway. Where are you studying?

**prays Onslow is actually fucking dumb enough to tell me**


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

jæd said:
			
		

> Whats it like to achieve your life long ambition...?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



The thing is though, i am a really nice guy, so that pisses on your chips.


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> The thing is though, i am a really nice guy.


Only an arsehole would say that.

A properly nice guy would say merely that they tried to be really nice, and leave the judgement as to their success to others.


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## Yossarian (Apr 29, 2007)

Chances are about half the other people on the course have bought their dissertations somewhere, what´s the point in being a goody 2-shoes and losing out?


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

I'm just confident enough to know that it is true.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> The thing is though, i am a really nice guy, so that pisses on your chips.



...it's hard to believe anything a cheat says. Chances are you're a cunt.


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## Agent Sparrow (Apr 29, 2007)

Jeez, I feel guilty enough when I reference a paper in an essay and I've only read the abstract!


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Oh, two unread messages. This could be interesting.


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Yossarian said:
			
		

> Chances are about half the other people on the course have bought their dissertations somewhere, what´s the point in being a goody 2-shoes and losing out?


You won't be losing out because you'll have LEARNT something from doing the work. Uni isn't primarily about obtaining a piece of paper, it's about improving yourself. If you forget that, then you will have wasted your time there. That others miss the point and waste their time is irrelevant.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

I honeslty dont care if i am considered a cunt on an online bulletin board, so carry on wasting your energy and calling me a cunt


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I honeslty dont care if i am considered a cunt on an online bulletin board, so carry on wasting your energy and calling me a cunt



S'cool. The reason people like you are on this earth is to give the truly dumb a chance at escaping the Darwin Awards each year.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Apr 29, 2007)

cheating on your disertation


that pritty fucking low


fuck it

quit  your course  and just  buy  a degree from one of those dubious  american places

it's all you deserve for this kind of effort


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I honeslty dont care if i am considered a cunt on an online bulletin board, so carry on wasting your energy and calling me a cunt


Is this an example of you being 'really nice'?


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Its an example of me rising above it.


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## Agent Sparrow (Apr 29, 2007)

At uni, one of the computer science guys said they cheated on their dissertation  by getting it pretty much all from a single unreferenced book. Thing is with this guy, I can image he was lying about this to cause a bit of drama. Despite the fact that you wouldn't really think that people would lie about this the other way round!


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## spanglechick (Apr 29, 2007)

onslow - you seem surprised at the reaction here.

we could all have bought our qualifications the way you are probably going to manage to do (tho if you get away with it for £300, i'll be amazed).  but we didn't.  we worked at them.

by having the attitude that there was no need for us to do that work, you're devaluing what was an achievement for all those of us who've done so, and all the people on your course who will do so in irder to get the same qualification as you.

your behaviour toward your degree shows disrespect for the entire degree process - and by inferrence, anyone who has ever done one (or studied for anything else).

That's why everyone thinks you're a cunt.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Its an example of me rising above it.


Sinking beneath you mean


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Its an example of me rising above it.



How can a snake rise above anything unless it involves slithering and sliding?


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

spanglechick said:
			
		

> onslow - you seem surprised at the reaction here.
> 
> we could all have bought our qualifications the way you are probably going to manage to do (tho if you get away with it for £300, i'll be amazed).  but we didn't.  we worked at them.
> 
> ...



Well if this makes me a cunt, then so be it. It will be worth it in the end.


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## Crispy (Apr 29, 2007)

Crispy said:
			
		

> This man sounds perfect for the world of marketing






			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> Well if this makes me a cunt, then so be it. It will be worth it in the end.


An _executive_ position in marketing


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> How can a snake rise above anything unless it involves slithering and sliding?



You lot are the snakes, hissing your discrepancies at me, judging me, accusing me of attending at university that isnt "propper". I haven't bothered getting caught up in a petty " your a cunt, no your a cunt" debate. Too much class.


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## Dowie (Apr 29, 2007)

come on - its an undergraduate degree in some psedo academic subject - what exactly does your dissertation involve? and essay? oh no not an essay!

just get yourself down the library and write one you big muppet

count yourself lucky that you're not doing a science degree where the final year research project involves a bit more than sitting on your ass regurgitating a load of bollocks you read in a few text books into a big essay.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> You lot are the snakes, hissing your discrepancies at me, judging me, accusing me of attending at university that isnt "propper". I haven't bothered getting caught up in a petty " your a cunt, no your a cunt" debate. Too much class.



Lmao - Liar. Thief. Cheat.

You can't cope with an _almost-a-subject_ degree. You've got shit chance in the real world. 

I think a marketing genius would have gone about this very, very differently. Entertaining thread, though. Watching you try to justify your dishonesty.


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## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

You are being a bit shortsighted here. 

Copies of final year degree projects are kept in the university library and can be accessed FOR FREE. 

The only thing you have to do is ensure you get a reasonably decent one or copying it will just land you directly in trouble. 

So 

1) how to find out which projects did well ? harder perhaps than it sounds

2) whether to travel to another Uni to source the project, probably a good idea.  

I think you are better advised to get nose to grindstone and produce a project that can at least get you a third, I presume you don't have much time left but if you had been on for a 2.1 you would have started on it sooner.

Don't you have to do some primary research for your marketing thesis? I thought that was common practice in marketing thesis these days?


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> Lmao - Liar. Thief. Cheat.
> 
> You can't cope with an _almost-a-subject_ degree. You've got shit chance in the real world.
> 
> .



Are you saying that in order to be able to cope in the real world it is a prerequisite that you must of first completed a degree? I think you'll find plenty of people get on just fine without ever stepping foot in a university thank you very much.

Note to lightsouthlondon, your degree does not make you better than anyone else. 

And how am i thief? I am purchasing the work. I am a customer.


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Note to lightsouthlondon, your degree does not make you better than anyone else.



it makes him better than some prick who buys one.




			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> And how am i thief? I am purchasing the work. I am a customer.



you have a very fucked up view of the world - you'll do wonderfully in marketing, a credit to your industry.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Are you saying that in order to be able to cope in the real world it is a prerequisite that you must of first completed a degree? I think you'll find plenty of people get on just fine without ever stepping foot in a university thank you very much.
> 
> Note to lightsouthlondon, your degree does not make you better than anyone else.



It's obvious you _can't_ cope. You're on here trying to buy your way out of trouble. 

Perhaps that's your solution to all of life's challenges: buy your way? Mind you, you're going to need more than three hundred quid. Rich mummy and daddy? Do you buy your friends as well? 

My degree does make better than _you_. It was honestly earned.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Apr 29, 2007)

your obtaining goods via deception... 

fraud  

theif


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## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Hey there is nothing wrong with marketing. 

He will fail at that admirably because he thinks there are always shortcuts, there are not.


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## Treacle Toes (Apr 29, 2007)

TBF to the OP it's hardly anything new is it....I also know of people who's supervisors have given them past students disserations to rip and hand in....


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

I'm surprised no one has quoted Bill Hicks yet


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> My degree does make better than _you_. It was honestly earned.



Your hard-earned degree makes your academic credentials more worthy than mine, however it does not make _you_ a better person than _me_.

You cannot compare a person to yourself by singling out one instance where they were lazy and you were not.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> I'm surprised no one has quoted Bill Hicks yet



Would have been far too obvious and predicatble surely?


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> You cannot compare a person to yourself by singling out one instance where they were lazy and you were not.



i dunno, i think you can usually reach a pretty fair conclusion about whether or not someone's a dick based on a single instance


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## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

For a _marketing_ dissertation, you say?

Ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 

*pauses for breath*

No, really,

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 

*breathes again*

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 

Funny guy.


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## Chairman Meow (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow is a troll , surely? Could anyone really be this stupid? Oh wait, he's doing marketing.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

weltweit said:
			
		

> Hey there is nothing wrong with marketing.
> 
> He will fail at that admirably because he thinks there are always shortcuts, there are not.




I do not think that there are _always_ shortcuts. I just have a good nose for sniffing out instances were there are.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Your hard-earned degree makes your academic credentials more worthy than mine, however it does not make _you_ a better person than _me_.
> 
> You cannot compare a person to yourself by singling out one instance where they were lazy and you were not.



I am a _much, much, much_ better person than you.  

You are a liar and a cheat. I am not. You're a conman.

I thangyew.


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

dunno, you've fucked it up good and proper here, so maybe you're not as sussed as you think you are


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## Treacle Toes (Apr 29, 2007)

Shippou-Chan said:
			
		

> your obtaining goods via deception...
> 
> fraud
> 
> theif



A bit OTT don't you think, fraud is one thing but at least they are willing to pay for it, so therefore it isn't strictly theft.


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## foamy (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I do not think that there are _always_ shortcuts. I just have a good nose for sniffing out instances were there are.



and yet here you are trying to buy a dissertation because you've left it too late to write one yourself?! 

thank you for this evenings entertainment


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## Chairman Meow (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Your hard-earned degree makes your academic credentials more worthy than mine, however it does not make _you_ a better person than _me_.
> 
> You cannot compare a person to yourself by singling out one instance where they were lazy and you were not.



I will  say quite confidently that I am a better person than you. Not because I have a degree, but because I am not a cheat.


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

Rutita1 said:
			
		

> A bit OTT don't you think, fraud is one thing but at least they are willing to pay for it, so therefore it isn't strictly theft.




ok, receiving stolen goods then. About the same, in legal terms


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> I am a _much, much, much_ better person than you.
> 
> You are a liar and a cheat. I am not. You're a conman.
> 
> I thangyew.



No No, im not a liar or cheat, because i having done it yet. The intent is there, but the action hasn't occured.

At least i can admit that i am prepared to lie and cheat to get what i want, wheres you are rather laughably trying to potray a pristine image of yourself and your life and what youve done within it.
Thats what makes me better than you, i can face the truth about myself, you refuse to admit that your life has been anything but perfect. Shame really.


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## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

I still reckon the best bit is thinking 300 squid is a good price for a 2:1.

I mean, HELLO!?!?!?

What's that work out at? Twenty pee an hour? Less? In return for increased earning potential of how much?

You don't even say what KIND of dissertation, for goodness' sake. 

Troll, pure and simple. Or someone who's so unutterably lost there's no point even taking the mick.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 29, 2007)

Onlsow. You sir, are a spectacular div.


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## Bob_the_lost (Apr 29, 2007)

*contemplates the amount of time he's spending on his coursework*

You're a cunt.

Or more likely on a troll.


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## Treacle Toes (Apr 29, 2007)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> ok, receiving *stolen* goods then. About the same, in legal terms



Not stolen though if the seller actually writes the thing though?
Fraud because you are presenting something as your own i understand...


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## Shippou-Sensei (Apr 29, 2007)

Rutita1 said:
			
		

> A bit OTT don't you think, fraud is one thing but at least they are willing to pay for it, so therefore it isn't strictly theft.



the theft is from the university...  you aim to get something you don't have the right to recive

 and the depreciation of your fellow students work is pretty nasty too


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> No No, im not a liar or cheat, because i having done it yet. The intent is there, but the action hasn't occured.
> 
> At least i can admit that i am prepared to lie and cheat to get what i want, wheres you are rather laughably trying to potray a pristine image of yourself and your life and what youve done within it.
> Thats what makes me better than you, i can face the truth about myself, you refuse to admit that your life has been anything but perfect. Shame really.




that settles it - you're a prick


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

mrs quoad said:
			
		

> I still reckon the best bit is thinking 300 squid is a good price for a 2:1.
> 
> I mean, HELLO!?!?!?
> 
> ...



I ask any interested party to pm me for further correspondence.


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I ask any interested party to pm me for further correspondence.




yeh, those offers will be ROLLING in

maybe you could bribe the editor into giving you a bigger mailbox, since you think everything's up for sale.


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> No No, im not a liar or cheat, because i having done it yet. The intent is there, but the action hasn't occured.
> 
> At least i can admit that i am prepared to lie and cheat to get what i want, wheres you are rather laughably trying to potray a pristine image of yourself and your life and what youve done within it.
> Thats what makes me better than you, i can face the truth about myself, you refuse to admit that your life has been anything but perfect. Shame really.



Nah. You're laughable. Not even very bright. Which is perhaps why you have to try to buy your way in life.

Thanks for the most amusing thread in hours. It warms my pristine heart to know that fuckwits like you do really exist!


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## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

Can I suggest you spend the money on 30 litres of vodka instead?

Sainsbury's value was fifteen quid for 1.5 litres towards the back end of my drinking days.

30 litres of vodka will do you far more good than these half-arsed efforts at fixing something that your own incredible laziness has broken.

TROROROROROROLL


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

Well I am beginning to change my mind about Onslow being a tabloid journalist trying to pull a 'fast one'.  He has invested a lot of time on this thread and the level of his contribution has been very weak.  I don't think even a gutterpress journo would spend that long trying to establish his credentials as a failing student.  I am not sure though, it is Sunday evening and all other deadlines will have been met by now.

The other strange aspect of this story as that Onslow on the 10th of this month was aiming for a 'first' on his marketing dissertation.  This time he was asking for advice as to whether it would be alright to sleep with his tutor in order to get this 'first'.  It seems that he had not been made an offer of this but was perhaps fantasizing about it.  Whether the rest of his work was of a level to support the first was not mentioned.  That is if you accept that he really is a student.

However if he had spent those weeks doing the dissertation he would have it in the bag by now.


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## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

I have previously stated that i'm willing to donate the money to a charity. So bear that in mind if your thinking of donating your dissertation to me. My life will be made better because i dont have to pump out this diss, your life will be better because youve been involved in helping out a charity, and the people who will benefit from my donation will experience a better way of life.

EVERONES A WINNER. simmer down.


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## dessiato (Apr 29, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> I would have thought that anyone who knew about Marketing would know the the marketable value of their secondhand dissertation would be very high if the buyer is in a bit of a spot.  I would estimate that a figure about £2,000 pounds would be a starting point.
> 
> I really hope this isn't a genuine request, it would justify all the crap that is circulating in the media about falling standards at degree level and students plagiarising work.


I am a member of the Chartered Institute of Marketing, and did Marketing for my degree, so I would not sell that work for anything like £300. If you want a 2:1 you will have to up the pay a long long way above that.

Your comment that you are not a liar or cheat is crap, your intention is exactly to lie and cheat, you are, therefore, a liar and a cheat. and you don't deserve or merit an award of any academic value.


----------



## laptop (Apr 29, 2007)

Of course, it is possible to argue that lying, cheating and fantasising are *requirements* for work in marketing.


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## Treacle Toes (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I have previously stated that i'm willing to donate the money to a charity. So bear that in mind if your thinking of donating your dissertation to me.* My life will be made better because i dont have to pump out this diss, your life will be better because youve been involved in helping out a charity, and the people who will benefit from my donation will experience a better way of life.*
> EVERONES A WINNER. simmer down.



I don't think they are going to buy that one..


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I have previously stated that i'm willing to donate the money to a charity. So bear that in mind if your thinking of donating your dissertation to me. My life will be made better because i dont have to pump out this diss, your life will be better because youve been involved in helping out a charity, and the people who will benefit from my donation will experience a better way of life.
> 
> EVERONES A WINNER. simmer down.




keep on digging


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> keep on digging


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## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I have previously stated that i'm willing to donate the money to a charity. So bear that in mind if your thinking of donating your dissertation to me. My life will be made better because i dont have to pump out this diss, your life will be better because youve been involved in helping out a charity, and the people who will benefit from my donation will experience a better way of life.
> 
> EVERONES A WINNER. simmer down.


Post of the week.  

I'm printing this thread to have as a warning against cheating for my students...


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

I would attempt the dissertation myself, but there ALOT of cool parties going on in the foreseeable future and some big name DJs coming to the club i frequent. Im going to be far too hungover to attempt any sort of research or analysis.

Id ask my dad to lend me the cash to buy the dissertation off one of those official custom made dissertation writing websites, its about a grand and a half, but hes holidaying in France and would probably be pissed off that i wasted the previous two grand in the casino.

So now you know my plight, hopefully youll be a little more sympathetic


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 29, 2007)

You tight fucker. 

For 300 quid I'd write you a _really good title_.


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## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I have previously stated that i'm willing to donate the money to a charity. So bear that in mind if your thinking of donating your dissertation to me. My life will be made better because i dont have to pump out this diss, your life will be better because youve been involved in helping out a charity, and the people who will benefit from my donation will experience a better way of life.
> 
> EVERONES A WINNER. simmer down.



Instead of all this yammering on your trying to  defend you pathetic position why dont you log off from here and do the work your sen, ya Lazy Lazy lazy Bastard


----------



## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I would attempt the dissertation myself, but there ALOT of cool parties going on in the foreseeable future and some big name DJs coming to the club i frequent. Im going to be far too hungover to attempt any sort of research or analysis.
> 
> Id ask my dad to lend me the cash to buy the dissertation off one of those official custom made dissertation writing websites, its about a grand and a half, but hes holidaying in France and would probably be pissed off that i wasted the previous two grand in the casino.
> 
> So now you know my plight, hopefully youll be a little more sympathetic


Clear troll.

case closed, last in?


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I do not think that there are _always_ shortcuts. I just have a good nose for sniffing out instances were there are.



No Onslow you do NOT have a "good nose" for sniffing out anything. 
In fact I suspect you are simply trollng. 

First: this Urban75 is a general purpose forum / board, the chance of there even being someone posting on here today that has done a marketing degree is already very small, yet here you set your bait, what if there is no one here who has even done marketing in the first place?

Therefore your targetting is way off and very weak. 

Secondly you are expecting to pay a paltry sum of £300 for a significant piece of someone's work, the someone as I have already mentioned who is not very likely to be here reading this thread, and that £300 you think will adequately recompense them for entering into an arrangement which will put their own reputations on the line as much as yours. 

Someone who already got a 2:1 in marketing is probably already well on their way to becoming an international brand manager, why would they be on U75 posting on a Sunday and why would they really consider £300 satisfactory recompense for risking the loss of their own clean and blameless careers. 

You also fail pathetically because you have failed to realise the value of the simplest most basic resource available in a University, namely the library. 

I know that it is tempting to assume that the internet is the place where all the knowledge resides these days but that is not the case. 

Knowledge is, and has for generations been, hidden in books. 

Books written by people. People including those who passed Marketing degrees with a 2:1 for their final year projects.

If you had ever, really, used your University library you will have found that all the final year projects of former students are kept there and you can access them for free. 

For free, there is no cost, just use the library, or in your case the library of a university some distance away from your own so as to reduce the change of being caught for cheating. 

So not only are you NOT sniffing out some clever shortcut by posting this drivel on U75 but you are expecting to pay somebody for something that you can steal for FREE !! 

Thirdly you are doing this in print on an internet board, the morals of the owners of which you do not know, the moderators here now know you are looking for a marketing thesis to cheat with, they have your email address and may even have a more suitable name than Onslow, what they might do with what they know I have no idea ? Were I in your shoes, well no, I have not been in your shoes, I did a thesis which included significant primary research, could not be copied and which I fundamentally understand. You will not be able to do that with a copied thesis. 

Good nose? No I really don't think so. I do in fact know a lot of people who studied marketing and they are all rather significantly more clever than this, even the ones that left their thesis a bit to the last minute.


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## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

can't quite figure this out now.

Not sure if onslow was trolling from the off, or originally was serious, has made an utter cock of himself and is now trying to shake off the pressure by implying after the fact that he was trolling all along (see his last post).

Ultimately, doesn't matter much - he's clearly a cunt either way


----------



## Chairman Meow (Apr 29, 2007)

treefrog said:
			
		

> Clear troll.
> 
> case closed, last in?



Aye.

Last in. 

You over-egged the pudding a tad there Onslow.2/10 for effort


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## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

treefrog said:
			
		

> Clear troll.
> 
> case closed, last in?


----------



## Treacle Toes (Apr 29, 2007)

I've got it....
Onslow is actually a writer of marketing dissertations and this entire thread was started to see if there is a niche market for them here on Urban.. 
It's market research, clearly!


----------



## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Rutita1 said:
			
		

> I've got it....
> Onslow is actually a writer of marketing dissertations and this entire thread was started to see if there is a niche market for them here on Urban..
> It's market research, clearly!



lol. V.good!


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 29, 2007)

There's all the dissertation material needed right here.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

weltweit said:
			
		

> No Onslow you do NOT have a "good nose" for sniffing out anything.
> In fact I suspect you are simply trollng.
> 
> First: this Urban75 is a general purpose forum / board, the chance of there even being someone posting on here today that has done a marketing degree is already very small, yet here you set your bait, what if there is no one here who has even done marketing in the first place?
> ...



Considered, constructive, well made points.
I thank you sir/madam.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Either a troll or an idiot


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

Ahahaha!

My psychicicicicicic powers of premedediction have supertrumpified once more


----------



## Treacle Toes (Apr 29, 2007)

fractionMan said:
			
		

> There's all the dissertation material needed right here.



Yes perhaps for one entitled.....'Buying a dissertation;the moral considerations of not writing it yourself.'


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

Yep that clinches it he is a troll.  Wasted 2 grand in a casino and wants to go to lots of parties.  Yeah right Hmm.  

I think he is a year 10 at a school having a laugh.  He can't be a year 13 he would be busy with his A2 coursework and completing the syllabus.  Similarly a year 12 doing AS coursework and last minute revision.  A year 11 would also be doing GCSE completion work and revision.  So he has to be a year 10 or maybe a bright year 9.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Casino post was tongue in cheek mind you.
Obviously your heads are so far up your own arses you couldnt detect that. Shame.


----------



## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

and now the lashing out starts 

it's textbook stuff, this


----------



## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

year 9's have SATS, and year 10 have some exams just now too (or at least mine do). 

Year 8, clearly. If you're one of my class- GET BACK TO YOUR HOMEWORK!


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_of_Onslow


----------



## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Dubversion said:
			
		

> and now the lashing out starts
> 
> it's textbook stuff, this



**hands Dub bigger spoon for the stirring of, whilst Lights backs-up JCB with stirring attachments**


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Oh look, a teacher doing what teachers do best. Belitting others to make themselves feel adequate. Shame.


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mcjob

......


----------



## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

oh dear, Onslow


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Oh look, a teacher doing what teachers do best. Belitting others to make themselves feel adequate. Shame.


Maybe your tutors wouldn't if they didn't have such a gobshite McJob petulant twerpish slackadaisical patchwork muppetised excuse for a half-arsed 'student'


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I would attempt the dissertation myself, but there ALOT of cool parties going on in the foreseeable future and some big name DJs coming to the club i frequent. Im going to be far too hungover to attempt any sort of research or analysis.
> 
> Id ask my dad to lend me the cash to buy the dissertation off one of those official custom made dissertation writing websites, its about a grand and a half, but hes holidaying in France and would probably be pissed off that i wasted the previous two grand in the casino.
> 
> So now you know my plight, hopefully youll be a little more sympathetic



Nah THIS is the funniest post......


----------



## Iam (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I would attempt the dissertation myself, but there ALOT of cool parties going on in the foreseeable future and some big name DJs coming to the club i frequent. Im going to be far too hungover to attempt any sort of research or analysis.
> 
> Id ask my dad to lend me the cash to buy the dissertation off one of those official custom made dissertation writing websites, its about a grand and a half, but hes holidaying in France and would probably be pissed off that i wasted the previous two grand in the casino.
> 
> So now you know my plight, hopefully youll be a little more sympathetic



You're a twat.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Listen pretentious people of Urban, i am going to graduate this summer with a good degree classification and go in to the employment position that i have already been guranteed, ill keep you all updated on my upcoming successes.


----------



## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Oh look, a teacher doing what teachers do best. Belitting others to make themselves feel adequate. Shame.


LOL!!

Did you say that to your lecturers? Or did you even meet them, given you've been so busy with your rock and roll lifestyle?

And actually, that IS what I do best. That, and writing my own fucking essays.


----------



## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

yeh, cos we'll all be eaten up with jealousy when we hear about your good fortune. It might just kill me


----------



## Iam (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Listen pretentious people of Urban, i am going to graduate this summer with a good degree classification and go in to the employment position that i have already been guranteed, ill keep you all updated on my upcoming successes.



Best start selling your body or something then, cos it looks like £300 ain't gonna come close...

Will they expect you to work in this job, or will you have people to do it for you?


----------



## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Listen pretentious people of Urban, i am going to graduate this summer with a good degree classification and go in to the employment position that i have already been guranteed, ill keep you all updated on my upcoming successes.



Your still a cheating cunt coasting into your new career on a surfboard of dishonesty


----------



## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Listen pretentious people of Urban, i am going to graduate this summer with a good degree classification and go in to the employment position that i have already been guranteed, ill keep you all updated on my upcoming successes.



Oh. Dear.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Iam said:
			
		

> Best start selling your body or something then, cos it looks like £300 ain't gonna come close...



I am not a rent boy


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

Iam said:
			
		

> Best start selling your body or something then, cos it looks like £300 ain't gonna come close...


Oooo, first in?!


----------



## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

I nominate this thread to be archived!


----------



## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I am not a rent boy


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Listen pretentious people of Urban, i am going to graduate this summer with a good degree classification and go in to the employment position that i have already been guranteed, ill keep you all updated on my upcoming successes.



Not without a dissertation you wont


----------



## Iam (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I am not a rent boy



Oh, I dunno... straight outta uni, marketing junior...

Not a massive distinction.


----------



## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

liar liar your bums on fire
cheat cheat cheat cheat, and ahem cheat


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Now then, would any of you believe me if i were to say that my housemate has been using my laptop computer and since my U75 details are remembered by internet explorer, has logged into U75 and created this thread?


----------



## Dubversion (Apr 29, 2007)

probably not.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 29, 2007)

errrrr..... NOPE


----------



## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

^ U turn now aye onslow, go and do your work


----------



## Iam (Apr 29, 2007)

Perhaps if you expanded the envelope, and presented it with a little flow chart...


----------



## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Now then, would any of you believe me if i were to say that my housemate has been using my laptop computer and since my U75 details are remembered by internet explorer, has logged into U75 and created this thread?



and




			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> Basically, lovely people of Urban, my laptop has just popped its clogs. Well, the charger has pushed the little nib it connects to into the computer and i cant afford to have it repaired  It costs absolutly loads just for that little job! I'm a student and im just in the middle of writing my dissertation, so its really ballsed it up at the minute. If i dont get an extension i shall start a dirty protest.



http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=5842098#post5842098

Casino lifestyle. Unable to afford a laptop. ID theft on broken laptops.

You're a fantasist.


----------



## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslows enjoying all this attention and contraversy
*Ignores cheating cunts thread*


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

That reminds me it is Sunday night and I have to put my *bin *out after 9:30.  It has been fun though, this thread.  I hope Onslow isn't for real though.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Ill take that as a resounding no.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 29, 2007)

Maybe someone was mug enough.....


----------



## Crispy (Apr 29, 2007)

well, it's entertaining, at least.


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

Last in


----------



## lights.out.london (Apr 29, 2007)

aye. Passed a few moments.


----------



## Dante (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow i have to thank you, i really do, this thread inspired me and motivated me in a way that hasnt been possible for at least 5 months. You are truly a great guy.

It inspired me to make a phone call to an old acquaintance, who works at a rather large software firm. I figured that if you cuold cheat your way into the marketing business, whether i could. And despite my dimished mental state, between my first post on this thread and this one i have just created and sold an advertising concept for a multimillion dollar software package, created the name for its succesor, devised a multi-media marketing campagn that has never been tried before and impressed the shit out of the ceo...

all thanks to you. Giggling manically now....


----------



## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

archive archive archive! 

Or last in.


----------



## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

his disseration title is 'Explore reactions from members of the public when they are being sold a Nine legged 7 eared horse'


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Kotler, Marketing Analysis Planning & Control (or something like that)
the 4 Ps - Product, Price, Promotion, Place.  

*Product:* an illegal comercial exchange of a 2:1 dissertation for nefarious purposes, the exchange of which involves serious risk to reputation for both parties. The use of that dissertation to defraud a University into the awarding of a Degree. There is risk in this exchange for both parties.

*Price:* £300 not a very large sum of money given that the owner of the dissertation risks the wrath of their industry body, possibly legal action and the potential loss of their job and career. Price is simply way too low for any right minded author of a 2:1 dissertation to accept.

*Promotion:* A public message and thread on a so called "radical" bulletin board which was almost guaranteed to start an agitated thread in which the downsides of this proposal would be outlined. In a thread on a public forum the chance of controlling the message about the product is severely limited and it is for this reason that usual marketing messages are not deivered to threads on bulletin boards. 

*Place:* Urban75, of all the places where you could have planted public bait, why here? have you spotted people here who you suspect may have studied marketing, if so why not PM them with your question. For me the repute of U75 would not lead one to believe that there are many ex marketing degree students present.

To summarise: 

Product: dodgy in the extreme. Price: way to low compared to the risks for the selling party. Promotion: went out of control the moment you placed it. Place: the wrong place!

Not a great example of good marketing in practice.

Would you like a SWAT analysis next


----------



## dessiato (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Now then, would any of you believe me if i were to say that my housemate has been using my laptop computer and since my U75 details are remembered by internet explorer, has logged into U75 and created this thread?


Fucks sake, instead of wasting your time making up such fucking shit, piss off to the library, do some fucking work! Or, failing that just fucking fuck off, you are not funny anymore, you are just a twat!


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> and
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yeah none of you cunts would give me a laptop for fuck all on that thread either.


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

Last in archive!


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

weltweit said:
			
		

> Kotler, Marketing Analysis Planning & Control (or something like that)
> the 4 Ps - Product, Price, Promotion, Place.
> 
> *Product:* an illegal comercial exchange of a 2:1 dissertation for nefarious purposes, the exchange of which involves serious risk to reputation for both parties. The use of that dissertation to defraud a University into the awarding of a Degree. There is risk in this exchange for both parties.
> ...



Its SWOT
How embaressed are you.


----------



## Jambooboo (Apr 29, 2007)

*Not advocating it but...*

I'm sure _everyone_ here has done far less moral things than plagiarism.


----------



## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

Jambooboo said:
			
		

> I'm sure _everyone_ here has done far less moral things than plagiarism.


I once chased a hedgehog around a garden with a torch


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

treefrog said:
			
		

> I once chased a hedgehog around a garden with a torch


Come rub cats in jam with me?


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Its SWOT



Quite right  I was obviously intending a more aggressive one


----------



## northernhord (Apr 29, 2007)

I drank the Milk of a Mare


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

This has been a classic thread.  When old men gather around the fire to reminisce this thread will be one of the tales that comes up.

Last in! And yes archive archive archive.


----------



## treefrog (Apr 29, 2007)

mrs quoad said:
			
		

> Come rub cats in jam with me?


FILTH!!!


----------



## feyr (Apr 29, 2007)

@ treefrog 

because i missed a deadline last week, i have reduced my coursework mark from a 73% to a 44% which only just a pass. i missed the deadline because i put other things ( raising my family, taking extra hours at work, and to be honest , spending the few precious hours free time i get when the kids are asleep, drinking, smoking,and being a normal 24 yr old)

i admit i did briefly thing about trying to buy an essay, but then i would be cheating myself. i am struggling to balance everything in my life, but there is no point wasting all my sacrifices by cheating. i'd rather scrap a low pass then  pass with an unearned high

anyways, last in?


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Ill be fucked if your going to be last in with that stomah wrenching post.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

So Onslow ..

Seriously now ..

How long have you got to write your dissertation in? 

Do you have a motivating title yet?

Will you have to do primary research?


----------



## moonsi til (Apr 29, 2007)

Crikey....I am blushing for you   Having read most of the thread I think you thought you stood a chance of blagging it for a paltry 300 quid. My thoughts were that if it did happen you would be forever plagued about being found out...and say if in the future you secured a good job etc you would have a lot more to lose than you do now.

At the moment you still have options......LOL about trying someone else logging in as you. I reckon that you won't be posting here much after this cos hopefully you will be charging on with your work. OR you will be feeling too after tonight......


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Dont forget Marketing graduates £300!!!!!


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

There is some hope for Onlow.  It seems he knows about doing a SWOT analysis.  There is however no chance of him ever being accused of being a 'swot'.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> There is some hope for Onlow.  It seems he know about doing a SWOT analysis.  There is however no chance of him ever being accused of being a 'swot'.



Boom Boom tish


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

moonsi til said:
			
		

> At the moment you still have options......LOL about trying someone else logging in as you. I reckon that you won't be posting here much after this cos hopefully you will be charging on with your work. OR you will be feeling too after tonight......



I heart U75, ill be here regardless.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Dont forget Marketing graduates £300!!!!!



Onslow, not intending to brag but :

I can earn that in a single day!


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

weltweit said:
			
		

> So Onslow ..
> 
> Seriously now ..
> 
> ...




I have 7 days. I do have a motivating title, and i will have to primary research. I am going to have to blag an extension, and yes i will have to lie and deceive to get it.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

weltweit said:
			
		

> Onslow, not intending to brag but :
> 
> I can earn that in a single day!




Did you once say you worked in recriutment?


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I am not a rent boy






			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> Ill be fucked




Yay!

Second in?!


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

Oh no Onslow is wearing one of those T shirts that says *Gis a Job*.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Can i request that this thread is not "binned" please. I want it to get as much exposure as possible on this board, so the chances of someone seeing it who wants to help my plight, and help their wallet/purse (im not sexist) increase.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I have 7 days. I do have a motivating title, and i will have to primary research. I am going to have to blag an extension, and yes i will have to lie and deceive to get it.



I do think a motivating title is vital, glad you have that. 

Using deception to get an extension is fine with me, its much the lesser of two evils compared to buying a thesis if you see what I mean. 

How quickly can you do the primary research? 

PS: should you not be working on it now rather than procrastinating with the rest of us here. 

Oh and BTW a pal of mine who did his dissertation in about a week, squeezed a third and for a while looked to be in dodgy jobs, he is now earning way way more than the rest of us, what I mean is there is life after a third.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Did you once say you worked in recriutment?



Nope 

to qualify the info ... 

Yes I can earn £300 in a day, and I do sometimes, the trouble is getting enough of *days like that* in a year.


----------



## tef (Apr 29, 2007)

From: http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=183917 on 06-11-2006




			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> I do realise this thread is not going to be relevant to hardly anyone on the board however there are always some that pop up and get stuck in.
> 
> Basically, i'm a student about to undertake my dissertation on a topic of my choice, needs to be marketing related, but by the christ, i cant think of anything worthwhile. Which maybe says alot about me and whether i should be doing this particular degree, but anyway, does anyone have any ideas as to what i could investigate/explore etc?
> 
> ...



Tee hee.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 29, 2007)

Well done tef  I actually remember that post, I think I responded to it. 

So "Last Minute Onslow" actually you had the time .. 

Better get writing


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 29, 2007)

Oh no; that means he is for real then.  How have things got like this that students get into courses that they really are not suited to?  Nobody should be laughing here.


----------



## Prince Rhyus (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow, 

apply for the extension and if you don't get it, take the hit, resit the year and learn from it. If you don't these things have a habit of catching up with you - even if it looks otherwise - http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,,-6589221,00.html


----------



## pogofish (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi Onslow

Not read the whole thread but amongst other qualifications, I just happen to have a second degree level marketing  qualification at a whole lot higher than a 2.1. From one of the most respected institutions in the field. 

However, even if I was so inclined to offer to write your dissertation for you, there is no way on earth I'd consider it. £300 would not be nearly enough!

Anyway, you clearly don't have any idea of the resources a reputable uni can & do deploy against this sort of thing!


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 29, 2007)

larfs


----------



## xenon (Apr 29, 2007)

This thread's a classic.


Marketting though.


----------



## Poot (Apr 29, 2007)

pogofish said:
			
		

> Hi Onslow
> 
> Not read the whole thread but amongst other qualifications, I just happen to have a second degree level marketing  qualification at a whole lot higher than a 2.1. From one of the most respected institutions in the field.
> 
> ...



Aww come on pogofish, that's not the attitude! I'm sure if we club together we can find you a fag packet (with optional beer stain) and a biro.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 29, 2007)

So he wants us to provide the inspiration, provide the laptop and now provide the dissertation??

 

Hahahahahahahhahahaha


----------



## mauvais (Apr 29, 2007)

If I weren't such an awesome all round nice guy, which I'm confident enough to say I am, I'd steal one off the internet, charge him £300, and add the phrase 'this dissertation has been stolen and Onslow is a plagiarising cunt' somewhere in the middle, or fuck it, perhaps as the footer on each page, because let's face it, he's such a lazy bastard the chances of him reading any of it are fucking slim, and in fact, I could probably sell him that lorem dipsum rubbish that the printer spews out on a self test.


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 29, 2007)

Now that's a plan!


----------



## mauvais (Apr 29, 2007)

Alternatively you could always attempt some kind of ingenious coup. 200 pages of blank A4 paper should be enough for a First - it's about how you sell it, no?

Cunt


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> Oh no; that means he is for real then.  How have things got like this that students get into courses that they really are not suited to?  Nobody should be laughing here.



I am suited to the course. Ive just had other things on.


----------



## mauvais (Apr 29, 2007)

That's how _I_ missed out on my Nobel Prize. Busy week, forgot to invent owt.


----------



## sleaterkinney (Apr 29, 2007)

tef said:
			
		

> From: http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=183917 on 06-11-2006
> 
> 
> 
> Tee hee.


That was November!, Lazy cunt.


----------



## pogofish (Apr 29, 2007)

It would need to be affy guid fags!


----------



## Jambooboo (Apr 29, 2007)

pogofish said:
			
		

> Hi Onslow
> 
> Not read the whole thread but amongst other qualifications, I just happen to have a second degree level marketing  qualification at a whole lot higher than a 2.1. From one of the most respected institutions in the field.
> 
> However, even if I was so inclined to offer to write your dissertation for you, there is no way on earth I'd consider it. £300 would not be nearly enough!



Sending a word doc via an e-mail attachment is an easy £300 in my book. He's not asking for anyone to write it - just someone who may still have their old marketing dissertation knocking about on a floppy or harddrive to forward it onto him.

Morals aside, like I said it's easy money. One e-mail and one paypal transaction later and you're three hundred knicker up!

I'd consider it for a moment, but my dissertation was in philosophy - ethics and morality natch. Plus I only got an third for it - but that was automatic as I had just missed the deadline _and_ my cunts of the highest order course leaders didn't give a fuck about the various mitigating circumstances for it's lateness.


----------



## mozzy (Apr 29, 2007)

Jambooboo said:
			
		

> Sending a word doc via an e-mail attachment is an easy £300 in my book. He's not asking for anyone to write it - just someone who may still have their old marketing dissertation knocking about on a floppy or harddrive to forward it onto him.
> 
> Morals aside, like I said it's easy money. One e-mail and one paypal transaction later and you're three hundred knicker up!
> 
> I'd consider it for a moment, but my dissertation was in philosophy - ethics and morality natch. Plus I only got an third for it - but that was automatic as I had just missed the deadline _and_ my cunts of the highest order course leaders didn't give a fuck about the various mitigating circumstances for it's lateness.



That's what my dissertation was on - philosophy of mind, and ethics, but i would be defeating the philosophy in it's own rights selling it to something like this. 

BTW - Are you british, or based in uk - or are you american?


----------



## mauvais (Apr 29, 2007)

Jambooboo said:
			
		

> Sending a word doc via an e-mail attachment is an easy £300 in my book. He's not asking for anyone to write it - just someone who may still have their old marketing dissertation knocking about on a floppy or harddrive to forward it onto him.


Rubbish. It took me maybe a month of ordinary office hours to write mine. Given that I got a first for it, I would say that's near enough a professional piece of work, and therefore would be roughly equal to my graduate salary for a month, i.e. it'd cost you over a grand. You wouldn't give away a painting or some other work that'd taken so long, so why a written piece?


----------



## pogofish (Apr 29, 2007)

Well, I got a first, with distinction, so that must be worth a few hundred quid extra. 

Laugh is, I only took the degree because it seemed the easiest route to an accredited teaching qualification part time.


----------



## tef (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I am suited to the course. Ive just had other things on.



I thought the point of the dissertation was to prove how suited to the course you were to some extent.

How capable you are of carrying out work, and self directed research.

But, I am sure that if you explain to your supervisor that you were busy doing other things rather than the full time course you were on, and that you think you're very capable of doing it, so please could you get a 2:1 it will work out in your favour.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Jambooboo said:
			
		

> Sending a word doc via an e-mail attachment is an easy £300 in my book. He's not asking for anyone to write it - just someone who may still have their old marketing dissertation knocking about on a floppy or harddrive to forward it onto him.



My point exactly. The offer still stands.


----------



## citydreams (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow, I don't know what all these busy bodies are on about.  It's only money.

I was at Lancaster.  Not a bad course as it goes. 
I'll sell you mine for £500 if you like.


----------



## citydreams (Apr 29, 2007)

In answer to your PM, my dissertation title is "Does advertising work? An analysis of consumer loyalty".

It will cost you £50 to look at the summary.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

Do you mind replying to my pm's via a pm? Cheers.


----------



## citydreams (Apr 29, 2007)

I might get offered more money if I post up here rather than PM.

My summary is just over 2000 words.  You'd then get about 50 pages of analysis, graphs and charts in the remaining 8000 words.

You can have my bibliography for £20.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 29, 2007)

citydreams said:
			
		

> I might get offered more money if I post up here rather than PM.
> 
> My summary is just over 2000 words.  You'd then get about 50 pages of analysis, graphs and charts in the remaining 8000 words.
> 
> You can have my bibliography for £20.



Offered  more money off another interested party?

Its a reasonable offer. I will mull it over.

Offer is still open to anyone else.


----------



## citydreams (Apr 29, 2007)

Feck it... can you let me know soon?


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow, skip the lower levels. Why not ask for a doctoral thesis while you are at it? (I have no clue about "marketing" degrees... *do* doctorates exist in that field?)

To get started, here is your marketing stuff
-----------------------
The selling of Flying Carpets to Contemporary Custumors.

Introduction:
I have no Introduction but I have it all in my head.

Chapters
I. Gaining Knowledge of the Product
II. Exploring the Target Audience
III. Creation of Want by Product-introducing Advertising
IV. Development of Advertizing Strategies 
V. Direct-Agressive Advertising
VI.Sales-Improvement strategies 
VII. Product Improvement Strategies

Conclusion: Re-start now with chapter I.

----------------------
Good luck.

salaam.


----------



## Dowie (Apr 29, 2007)

> Onslow, I don't know what all these busy bodies are on about. It's only money.
> 
> I was at Lancaster. Not a bad course as it goes.
> I'll sell you mine for £500 if you like.
> 29-04-2007 10:41 PM



If he pays you 500 quid for it now that you've told him the title and the university you attended then he really is a muppet.


----------



## Dowie (Apr 29, 2007)

Don't know how dissertation work with you guys but don't you agree a title and set out the aims of the dissertation with a tutor before you start and then have regular weekly meetings with them throughout the year?

I really don't see how anyone could actually copy a dissertation tbh...

(this is assuming it is a proper dissertation in a proper subject and not just some big essay)


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Apr 29, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> First off, im not sure if this type of thread is really allowed on the boards, if not, please forgive me, i mean no harm.
> 
> Did anyone here take Marketing as a degree subject at university? Do you still have your dissertation? Can you prove it is of 2:1 standard? If so, i would like to purchase it off you.
> 
> ...



Will you also send along your real name, so that if a resume ever appears from you, I'll know what to do with it?


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 29, 2007)

Yup thats how it supposed to work... in my case my supervisor was so shite that it was never agreed and he was a twat whenever I went to see him ( he didnt last long at the uni) and eventually I finished it on my own.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Dowie said:
			
		

> Don't know how dissertation work with you guys but don't you agree a title and set out the aims of the dissertation with a tutor before you start and then have regular weekly meetings with them throughout the year?
> 
> I really don't see how anyone could actually copy a dissertation tbh...
> 
> (this is assuming it is a proper dissertation in a proper subject and not just some big essay)



Yeah you agree a title at the beginning of the year, and have regular, but not weekly meetings with a supervisor throughout the year. I haven't spoke to mine for months though, so i change in topic wouldnt be too suspicious.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Dowie said:
			
		

> Don't know how dissertation work with you guys but don't you agree a title and set out the aims of the dissertation with a tutor before you start and then have regular weekly meetings with them throughout the year?



I suspect the OP never saw the inside of a university. 



> I really don't see how anyone could actually copy a dissertation tbh...



Not if your professor has a functioning brain.  



> (this is assuming it is a proper dissertation in a proper subject and not just some big essay)



I suspect it is just some paper he had to write. 

salaam.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I haven't spoke to mine for months though, so i change in topic wouldnt be too suspicious.



Would you be a student of mine, you would already get a big  fat zero for not showing up to demonstrate your progress. 

And then you even claim that "a change in topic wouldn't be suspicious".???

Ha. 
Ha. 
Try again - a bit harder now - to convince me you ever saw the inside of a university building.

salaam.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> Would you be a student of mine, you would already get a big  fat zero for not showing up to demonstrate your progress.
> 
> And then you even claim that "a change in topic wouldn't be suspicious".???
> 
> ...




Well then if you were a professor of mine, i probably would not be in the position i am now as my professor neither seems to care or of noticed that i haven't been around to demonstrate my progress. I would of liked to of had someone i could of done that to.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 30, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> Would you be a student of mine, you would already get a big  fat zero for not showing up to demonstrate your progress.
> 
> And then you even claim that "a change in topic wouldn't be suspicious".???
> 
> ...



In our uni you wouldnt be entitled to give someone a zero. Supervision is entirely optional ( but recommended if you want to give the marker what they would like)


----------



## mauvais (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Well then if you were a professor of mine, i probably would not be in the position i am now as my professor neither seems to care or of noticed that i haven't been around to demonstrate my progress. I would of liked to of had someone i could of done that to.


Whether you turned up or not, I'd have failed you for your fourfold use of the word 'of' instead of 'have'.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

mauvais said:
			
		

> Whether you turned up or not, I'd have failed you for your fourfold use of the word 'of' instead of 'have'.



Thankfully the faculty isn't full of cunts like you.


----------



## weltweit (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow you should not be posting here. 

You have a dissertation to write ! 

7 days solid you might be able to present something worth a pass.

Alternatively, if you fail to get an extension, you could try to re-sit the whole year, I am sure you would love that (not).


----------



## northernhord (Apr 30, 2007)

Stop posting on here Mate, no-ones gonna cheat for you, make a coffee and then GET SOME FUCKIN WORK DONE YA LAZY B'STARD


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

weltweit said:
			
		

> Onslow you should not be posting here.
> 
> You have a dissertation to write !
> 
> ...



I reckon that i could muster 2:2 quality diss in that time, and no, re-sitting the whole year isn't an option. I have heard down the grapevine however that there is the option to graduate in December for those who fuck it up at this stage. Not sure if there is any truth to this mind you, i shall have to investigate. I'm not the first to nearly fuck up a degree, wont be the last.


----------



## mauvais (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Thankfully the faculty isn't full of cunts like you.


 

Anyway it's not your supervisor's job to make sure you turn up. Did you even try to hold meetings? It's not primary school - you're free to do what you like, including fucking up your education. You're still paying the fees. As you said yourself your priority is partying so quite how a supervisor's supposed to work with that is a bit of a mystery really. You'd certainly be in the same position.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Well then if you were a professor of mine, i probably would not be in the position i am now as my professor neither seems to care or of noticed that i haven't been around to demonstrate my progress. I would of liked to of had someone i could of done that to.



It seems to largely escape you what a university education is about. It is about aquiring knowledge of your chosen field in such a way that the development of independent learning and reasoning is inherent to the education, which find its culmination in the acquired ability for undertaking independent research. At. Any. Given. Moment.

Since you claim to be in your final year: If you don't have that ability by now no tutoring is going to give it to you.
Hence the excuse that your professor is to blame for your lazyness is rather weak. Add to this that you should have complained or search for someone else.

salaam.


----------



## xenon (Apr 30, 2007)

Dowie said:
			
		

> Don't know how dissertation work with you guys but don't you agree a title and set out the aims of the dissertation with a tutor before you start and then have regular weekly meetings with them throughout the year?
> 
> I really don't see how anyone could actually copy a dissertation tbh...
> 
> (this is assuming it is a proper dissertation in a proper subject and not just some big essay)



That's how it worked on my art degree. Regular tutorials with your disatation tutor, seeing how you were getting on.

I'll take 50 quid for a 2.2 disatation on philosophical ideas with minimalist sculpture.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

I wish everyone would stop telling me off!


----------



## xenon (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I wish everyone would stop telling me off!




Didhams


----------



## weltweit (Apr 30, 2007)

xenon_2 said:
			
		

> I'll take 50 quid for a 2.2 disatation on philosophical ideas with minimalist sculpture.



See xenon_2 that is where a knowledge of marketing should stand everyone in good stead, the idea is to try to get the MAXIMUM price for what you are selling not the minimum


----------



## mauvais (Apr 30, 2007)

I wish you'd stop trying to commit academic malpractice & devalue everyone else's work, but hey, can't have it all


----------



## weltweit (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I reckon that i could muster 2:2 quality diss in that time



Well that would be quite fine. 

Hadn't you better get stuck into it then?


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

LilMissHissyFit said:
			
		

> In our uni you wouldnt be entitled to give someone a zero. Supervision is entirely optional ( but recommended if you want to give the marker what they would like)



I think it depends on the system. 
I read on this board that in the UK a Masters degree thesis doesn't involve an original research. In the education systems where I studied we had to do it on that level too (including oral defense for the examination commission). 
Hence I think it understandable that in the UK the involvement of a promotor is optional on that level. 

salaam.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Yes. I dont think starting now would be worthwhile, il have to start a fresh tomorrow and dedicate myself to it for the next week. Its only a week out of my entire life.


----------



## northernhord (Apr 30, 2007)

^ you could come up with a reasonable version in a week, if you do i'll buy you a virtual pint


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Only time will tell hoard, only time will tell.


----------



## xenon (Apr 30, 2007)

weltweit said:
			
		

> See xenon_2 that is where a knowledge of marketing should stand everyone in good stead, the idea is to try to get the MAXIMUM price for what you are selling not the minimum




Ah but you see, I wouldn't be selling exclusive rights. A quick sale and shifting many units. A "short tail" model since the comodity is abbundant and bares no cost to me in reproduction.

*goes off to find some gullable fine art undergrads*


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 30, 2007)

xenon2 as you cannot spell your dissertation is grossly overpriced.


----------



## Bob_the_lost (Apr 30, 2007)

A thinking idiot would go hat in hand to the lecturer with a sob story and a request for a week's extension.

"i'm sorry but i've messed up, left it too close to the deadline and didn't leave any roomf for fuckups, then my beloved cat died and i've been in bits for a week. I can get something in on time but it wouldn't be something i'd be happy with. Another week would let me get something acceptable."

He may say yes, he may say no. Either way get your arse off the web and into word.


----------



## northernhord (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Only time will tell hoard, only time will tell.



Besta Luck anyhowz mate


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

Arf!
 

I think being a Marketing student, the evidence of attempted cheating, bribery and deception alone should be worth a 2:1


----------



## xenon (Apr 30, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> xenon2 as you cannot spell your dissertation is grossly overpriced.



For an extra fiver, I will deploy the spell check.


----------



## northernhord (Apr 30, 2007)

8ball said:
			
		

> Arf!
> 
> 
> I think being a Marketing student, the evidence of attempted cheating, bribery and deception alone should be worth a 2:1



Takin lateral thinking into another dimention


----------



## mauvais (Apr 30, 2007)

...and if you don't get away with it, tell the story of your failure and convert to English Language, and then if you fail again, repackage _that _ and call it art.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

My internet was broken, else I would have posted last night.

Onslow, you're a scrote, and a bottomfeeder.

Universities started clamping down on this sort of thing years ago. There are various mechanisms in place to detect plagarism, especially for dissertations. If you buy someone else's dissertation you WILL be found out. Guaranteed. And serve you right too. You don't deserve a degree if you're not prepared to work for it.

You only have yourself to blame for this situation, now stop trying to weasel your way out of it and grow up.


----------



## frogwoman (Apr 30, 2007)

fucks sake.

what is the point of going to uni if you're just gonna cheat, i cant stand people who plagiarise others' work, it devalues the work of people who actually have talent for what they're doing, you sound like a total cunt, who is missing the point of what university's about. if you are not prepared to work even a small bit, then you shouldnt be there. Everyone dosses at uni but by cheating you are basically getting the same as other people who've made time to work and you haven't, why should you get a good degree and people who've not been able for whatever reason to do as well, and still did their own stuff, get a lower mark than you, for something you didnt even do!


----------



## Bazza (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow, with your attitude it's hard to argue the case against tuition fees.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 30, 2007)

Don't worry Onslow, degrees mean shit these days anyway. Everyone has one, and all 'graduate' jobs are now called 'graduate or graduate calibre' roles.

They are useful for emigrating, but apart from the very top jobs and those requiring a specific degree (such as teaching), a lack of a degree won't hold you back in the slightest.

Spend the £300 on a bunch of flowers for your parents, they'll be the only ones who lose out on you fucking up uni.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Listen pretentious people of Urban, i am going to graduate this summer with a good degree classification and go in to the employment position that i have already been guranteed, ill keep you all updated on my upcoming successes.



This from the same person who was worried his degree classification would be announced to the world at his graduation ceremony on this thread?

You're cruising for a Douglas, aren't you, though your guaranteed employment position *is* in marketing.







On Oxford Street.









Handing out flyers for ropey golf sales.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Surely he'd have to undergo the graduate training scheme of 'holding the golf sale sign for several months' first?

Before being promoted to flyers?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> My internet was broken, else I would have posted last night.
> 
> Onslow, you're a scrote, and a bottomfeeder.
> 
> ...



Yep, most unis randomly scan essays and dissertations with OCR software and parse them for "key" words and phrases, and have been doing so (with ever-increasing success) since the 1990s.

What totally throws me is why people bother with higher ed if they're lazy, unmotivated pissants. As Aldebaran has said, it's about learning and using the skills of independent study and research, not about getting a piece of paper with a mark on it. If you're employed on the basis of you having accumulated those skills, then your employers will know pdq that you've tried to pull their pisser when they notice that you're incompetent.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Surely he'd have to undergo the graduate training scheme of 'holding the golf sale sign for several months' first?
> 
> Before being promoted to flyers?



You're probably right.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 30, 2007)

My post should probably have just said:

Life without a degree would be far preferable to a life faking one.


----------



## Nixon (Apr 30, 2007)

northernhoard said:
			
		

> Besta Luck anyhowz mate



What she said.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

ChrisFilter said:
			
		

> My post should probably have just said:
> 
> Life without a degree would be far preferable to a life faking one.


Innit. Quit uni, go get a job and come back when you actually want to do it.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

I just can't believe he only wants to spend £300. How tight is that?

And onslow, doesn't matter how many times you read someone else's work, you'll never be able to pass it off as your own, because you have no ideas as to the background preparation, methodologies and reasoning that's gone into it.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

He can have my dissertation 

Don Garcia de Toledo and the Mediterranean Fleet, 1560-1565

Just change 'Mediterranean' for 'Marketing' and hope noone notices all the warfare


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

*slaps balbi*

He probably wouldn't change the title and then you'd lose YOUR degree.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Don't worry, i'll marry that rich looking glass collector at the Dog


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Can I be bridesmaid?


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

I was hoping you'd give me away


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

I have a doctoral thesis on the textual history of Al Qur'an available. 
For any non Muslim - let alone Marketing Interested - this inevitably *has* to come across as a critical study about Top Class Marketing Techniques.
I'm not sure about the price I need to ask. I count - of course - pro hour of work (and I don't volunteer to translate it!)

I have some other things to offer too. 
Since the demand is obvious, Good Marketing asks that an online shop is opened at the spot. 

Note to equationgirl. Forgot to say:  When I said I would give him 0000 in the infinite, that meant he owuldn't be allowed to pass the examination even *if* he showed up with a "finished" thesis in time. 

salaam


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> I was hoping you'd give me away



Well, I suppose I could do that, seeing as it's you, and you asked so nicely.
Wouldn't want you miserable on your big day now, would we?


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Well you pointed out the _obvious_ spark we shared in those brief moments over the straws


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Well, he liked you. Why else would he keep coming back to our table and removing drinks that were clearly not finished yet?


----------



## Jografer (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> has NO ONE here ever told a little white lie to get ahead?



Ok I confess, I've told a white lie or two... haven't cheated by buying someone else's work & calling it my own though, which IMHO is a few light years outside of 'white lie' status....


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Jografer said:
			
		

> Ok I confess, I've told a white lie or two... haven't cheated by buying someone else's work & calling it my own though, which IMHO is a few light years outside of 'white lie' status....


More of a 'midnight black, in a pot of strong coffee, standing in the devil's shadow' lie.


----------



## Jografer (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Listen pretentious people of Urban, i am going to graduate this summer with a good degree classification and go in to the employment position that i have already been guranteed, ill keep you all updated on my upcoming successes.



but that will involve WORKING....... (unless it's daddy's firm...), so who's going to start the sweepstake on when Onslow will fuck up the job.....


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Wel, whatever he ends up doing, I really hope it doesn't involve spelling and/or grammar.

Mind you, I guess McDonalds don't really worry about such things....


----------



## Iam (Apr 30, 2007)

Jografer said:
			
		

> but that will involve WORKING....... (unless it's daddy's firm...), so who's going to start the sweepstake on when Onslow will fuck up the job.....



Future Onslow thread:

"I've got this work project to do, but not a clue how to go about it, as I spent all my university time in a club, watching my favourite DJs. Can anyone help me? I can pay you 20p and a bag of Wotsits..."


----------



## Roadkill (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> First off, im not sure if this type of thread is really allowed on the boards, if not, please forgive me, i mean no harm.
> 
> Did anyone here take Marketing as a degree subject at university? Do you still have your dissertation? Can you prove it is of 2:1 standard? If so, i would like to purchase it off you.
> 
> ...



If you do this, I hope you get caught and chucked out of uni.

If you've not done the work for yourself then that's your own fault.  Why the fuck should you be able to buy your way out of that, when other people have worked their arses off?


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Why not suck the head of year's cock
More likely to work, IMO.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Have you _seen_ academics recently, Crispy?

Unless beards with food in and badly dressed men are your thing


----------



## Roadkill (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Have you _seen_ academics recently, Crispy?
> 
> Unless beards with food in and badly dressed men are your thing



Oi!


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Have you _seen_ academics recently, Crispy?
> 
> Unless beards with food in and badly dressed men are your thing


To be honest, it's the cock that would put me off.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Crispy said:
			
		

> Why not suck the head of year's cock
> More likely to work, IMO.



She doesn't have one.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> She doesn't have one.


Then your job is so much easier 
You could even pay someone to eat her out for you!


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

I'd need alot more than £300 for that favour.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I'd need alot more than £300 for that favour.


Well, we've established that you'd need far more than £300 to buy a dissertation, so it's in the game now.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

So you think if the price was right i would have had more offers?


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Um, Onslow have you read ANY of this thread?

Yes, it's obviously ALL about the money to the good posters of urban.  

*bangs onslow's head off desk*

Stop being a fuckwit and go and write your dissertation.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Ive been at it since 9. Im having a break.

A well deserved one at that.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> So you think if the price was right i would have had more offers?


Not here.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Considering you should have started writing your dissertation MONTHS ago, I don't think you can call this break 'well-earned' by any stretch of the imagination.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

> Not here.




You'd be surprised.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 30, 2007)

Hard day of power-wanking?


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Surprised at what? 

That you're STILL trying to buy a dissertation instead of doing some work? 

That you still haven't learnt that money CAN'T get you of the mess you've got yourself into?

Or that you're still acting like this IS NOT YOUR FAULT?


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Power working, sunshine!


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Yeah, copying and pasting is SOOOO hard isn't it?


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> You'd be surprised.


I'd be shocked and apalled.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Surprised at what?
> 
> That you're STILL trying to buy a dissertation instead of doing some work?
> 
> ...



I am fully aware that this is no ones fault but my own, which i say so clearly in the OP and i have been working since 9. As i say, im enjoying a well earned break.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> You'd be surprised.



I doubt that.

Speaking as someone who has busted two nuts, one gut, three bolts and a pear tree replete with partridge over the last twelve months to put together a body of work which accurately sums up the extent of my gain from my three yeqars at university, you sir are a scumbag.

If your first thought is to cheat, when the honourable thing would be to try and run the risk of failure then you have no place at university. Go get a job you sub-student twat.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

> Yeah, copying and pasting is SOOOO hard isn't it?




  You're like a little kid.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> You're like a little kid.


Ha!


----------



## foamy (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> You're like a little kid.



errr, that's Dr Little Kid to you


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Look mate, when you've worked 40 hours a week for 18 months without a proper holiday, keeping a roof over your head and food on the table whilst you're doing another 40 hours a week writing and finishing your PhD, then you can come talk to me about a well-earned break.

Until then, I suggest you go back to your dissertation and don't post on here moaning about how hard done by you are until you've finished it and submitted it.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

In my first year there was a bloke called Max who was on my course.

After three weeks, he quit university to become a ski instructor in Switzerland.

I've got a massive amount of respect for him for making that choice, and none for Onslow.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> I doubt that.
> 
> Speaking as someone who has busted two nuts, one gut, three bolts and a pear tree replete with partridge over the last twelve months to put together a body of work which accurately sums up the extent of my gain from my three yeqars at university, you sir are a scumbag.
> 
> If your first thought is to cheat, when the honourable thing would be to try and run the risk of failure then you have no place at university. Go get a job you sub-student twat.



Murderers are scumbags, Muggers are twats, rapists are cunts, someone trying to take the easy route out of doing some boring work, a lazy arse, granted.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Murderers are scumbags, Muggers are twats, rapists are cunts, someone trying to take the easy route out of doing some boring work, a lazy arse, granted.



No. A fraud and a fucking cheat is what you are. If you got a higher grade than your classmates, your friends from a piece of work you had *bought* you're devaluing the effort they put in, and effectively cancelling your friendship.

University is fucking hard work, it's for fucking hard workers. If you can't hack it, fuck off.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

No, you're a twat for trying to buy your way of a situation you made through your own laziness, instead of having the responsibility to sort it out yourself.

You're a lazy twat, to be accurate.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> In my first year there was a bloke called Max who was on my course.
> 
> After three weeks, he quit university to become a ski instructor in Switzerland.
> 
> I've got a massive amount of respect for him for making that choice, and none for Onslow.



After three weeks at uni i was fine, i was coasting along. My marks have been consistantly good throughout my time here at university. Its this one piece of work that ive not give enough attention to. Plus, when you have lived somewhere for three years, made good friends, got a house which you are contracted to for a lengthy amount of time its not as easy to just "quit". Its not just a course you are quiting, its everything.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> No. A fraud and a fucking cheat is what you are. If you got a higher grade than your classmates, your friends from a piece of work you had *bought* you're devaluing the effort they put in, and effectively cancelling your friendship.
> 
> University is fucking hard work, it's for fucking hard workers. If you can't hack it, fuck off.



*applauds balbi*


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Its this one piece of work that ive not give enough attention to.



LOLOLOLOL.

'one piece of work'   It's the most important part of your course you lazy fucktwat. Did you not realise that from the very beginning?


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> After three weeks at uni i was fine, i was coasting along. My marks have been consistantly good throughout my time here at university. Its this one piece of work that ive not give enough attention to. Plus, when you have lived somewhere for three years, made good friends, got a house which you are contracted to for a lengthy amount of time its not as easy to just "quit". Its not just a course you are quiting, its everything.



You're ignoring me because I'm right, aren't you?


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Power working, sunshine!



Hehe.

I feel a bit sorry for you to be honest, you must feel a bit shite now realising you're in trouble. I know that feeling.

Don't worry about the braying hounds, I can understand their rage - they worked their arses off for their degrees, so why shouldn't you.. and they're right, but that's their business.

Personally, I say good luck to you, if you can play the system and win then you're probably very well equipped to do well in the outside world. However, it isn't easy to get this done, and the world won't be on your side. Just look at the frothing mouths on this thread. If you're gonna do it, you've got to be a bucket load more subtle and it's going to cost you a shit load more than £300. Try in the thousands.

Personally, I reckon you get your head down, grind out a shite essay and deal with your low grade. A degree is a degree is a degree. As before, unless you're going for the top graduate jobs (which seem out of your league anyway, if you're doing this) then a 3rd in David Beckham studies from The University of Piddleswick will be as good as a 2:1 in English from an average uni.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> LOLOLOLOL.
> 
> 'one piece of work'   It's the most important part of your course you lazy fucktwat. Did you not realise that from the very beginning?



It would appear not, Balbi.

After all, he did lose £2k in a casino when most normal students have the sense not to lose that amount of money, if they even go to a casino in the first place.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Fuck me  What I could do with two grand.

(pay off my debts to a certain extent in all honesty )


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 30, 2007)

This Onslow creature makes me sick.  I hate reading his pathetic wingeing posts and feeble self-justification.  He just won't take F O for an answer.  I hope he is very much the exception among this generation of students.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> No. A fraud and a fucking cheat is what you are. If you got a higher grade than your classmates, your friends from a piece of work you had *bought* you're devaluing the effort they put in, and effectively cancelling your friendship.



I am devaluing their effort, but not their degree. Their 2:1 degree is still going to be as a valuable and creditable as it would have been had I not bought mine. 
Thats one of the problems with society today, ( apart from people buying their way out of messes) people are always looking over their shoulders, watching what everyone else is doing, poking their noses in.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> I hope he is very much the exception among this generation of students.



From experience as someone on the final lap of their uni life, this Onslow type is the equivalent to the smelly dribbling wreck of a person who noone sits next to on the bus


----------



## jæd (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Thats one of the problems with society today, ( apart from people buying their way out messes) people are always looking over their shoulders, watching what everyone else is doing, poking their noses in.



How we poking our noses in if you published your intention on a web forum. Or are you as stupid as much as your are a cunt...?


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I am devaluing their effort, but not their degree. Their 2:1 degree is still going to be as a valuable and creditable as it would have been had I not bought mine.



You really, really don't get that the the effort and the degree are the same damn thing.

Ask them what they think, instead of hiding before this apologetic persona on the internet. Then start a thread 'I am willing to pay £300 for new friends'


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

ChrisFilter said:
			
		

> Hehe.
> 
> I feel a bit sorry for you to be honest, you must feel a bit shite now realising you're in trouble. I know that feeling.



Thanks for the encouraging words displayed in the rest of your post. However the last thing i want is for anyone to feel sorry for me. I dont feel shite at the mo, i know ive got a couple of weeks of hard slog to contend with, but i dont mind because it will be worth it in the end.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Thats one of the problems with society today, ( apart from people buying their way out messes) *people are always looking over their shoulders, watching what everyone else is doing, poking their noses in.*



You're the one who posted the thread. On a public bulletin board known for its anticapitalist tendencies. 

And now you're complaining people are poking their noses in i.e. not condoning you buying the hard work of somebody else.

Seriously. Fuck off. Really.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> From experience as someone on the final lap of their uni life, this Onslow type is the equivalent to the smelly dribbling wreck of a person who noone sits next to on the bus



I dont catch public transport.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Of course not dahling.


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I dont catch public transport.



They don't even let you _on_ the bus?


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

8ball said:
			
		

> They don't even let you _on_ the bus?


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi your personal jibes are a waste of time. They can either work in two ways. The first way would be that the remarks actually ring true with the person you are accusing of being a dribbling wreck on the bus. In this instance they would hurt, as they would hit a raw nerve with the accused. The second way in which they work is in a instance were the petty little jibes are so off the mark it agitates the accused because they are being portrayed in a light that isn't accurate.

However in this instance i couldn't care less because i'm so unaffected by the remarks I simply gloss over them. I think you know this to, denoting that you are only wasting your time writing them to impress your little mates. Group mentality at its most observable.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Balbi your personal jibes are a waste of time. They can either work in two ways. The first way would be that the remarks actually ring true with the person you are accusing of being a dribbling wreck on the bus. In this instance they would hurt, as they would hit a raw nerve with the accused. The second way in which they work is in a instance were the petty little jibes are so off the mark it agitates the accused because they are being portrayed in a light that isn't accurate.
> 
> However in this instance i couldn't care less because i'm so unaffected by the remarks I simply gloss over them. I think you know this to, denoting that you are only wasting your time writing them to impress your little mates. Group mentality at its most observable.



Maybe you'd be better off trying to buy a psych dissertation


----------



## Iam (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Balbi your personal jibes are a waste of time. They can either work in two ways. The first way would be that the remarks actually ring true with the person you are accusing of being a dribbling wreck on the bus. In this instance they would hurt, as they would hit a raw nerve with the accused. The second way in which they work is in a instance were the petty little jibes are so off the mark it agitates the accused because they are being portrayed in a light that isn't accurate.
> 
> However in this instance i couldn't care less because i'm so unaffected by the remarks I simply gloss over them. I think you know this to, denoting that you are only wasting your time writing them to impress your little mates. Group mentality at its most observable.



I don't think that'll pass as your abstract, somehow.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Stop being funnier than me Iam! 

It's clearly not beneficial to the monothought clique


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Oh and to Onslow.

If you'd started a thread explaining that you'd left it really late and was looking for some advice on how to put together a passing grade dissertation in the next two weeks from Urbanites, you'd have had the aid of graduates, masters and doctors in the matter.

Your own choices damn you.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Stop being funnier than me Iam!



Is that possible 




> Oh and to Onslow.
> 
> If you'd started a thread explaining that you'd left it really late and was looking for some advice on how to put together a passing grade dissertation in the next two weeks from Urbanites, you'd have had the aid of graduates, masters and doctors in the matter.
> 
> Your own choices damn you.



Hindsight is a bitch.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow, if you put as much effort into your dissertation as you have some of the posts on the threads, you'd be finished by now.

But what do I know?


----------



## Guineveretoo (Apr 30, 2007)

I haven't bothered contributing to this thread until now, because you are all doing so well, and I honestly thought the OP would realised s/he was making a fool of him/herself way back, and got on with their work.

But I see that is not the case, and I have to say that I am enjoying the thread, so now I am subscribed to it, and can continue to watch as this person, who has, potentially, wasted the whole 3 years of a degree, waste some more time trying to justify something which is unjustifiable.

The standard of writing exhibited by the OP is not at undergraduate level, either, though, so I think there is every chance that, although most people who had been at university for 3 years (so long as they had paid attention) could scrape a pass on a dissertation written at the last minute, this person is going to fail.

It will restore my faith in the education system if they do fail, in fact!


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 30, 2007)

On the other hand seeing that he is paying fees to the university to be tutored he should have availed himself of their expertise and experience.  That is why they are there and also why he is there.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

He's the one who hasn't made the effort to maintain contact with his dissertation supervisor. He doesn't deserve to pass.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> The standard of writing exhibited by the OP is not at undergraduate level, either, though, so I think there is every chance that, although most people who had been at university for 3 years (so long as they had paid attention) could scrape a pass on a dissertation written at the last minute, this person is going to fail.
> 
> It will restore my faith in the education system if they do fail, in fact!



  

I dont put the same attention to detail in my "writing"  for a online bulliten board as i do when constructing a piece of academic literature.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I dont put the same attention to detail in my "writing"  for a online bulliten board as i do when constructing a piece of academic literature.



*waves his dissertation at Onslow*

Come back when you've got one of these mate.


----------



## Guineveretoo (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I dont put the same attention to detail in my "writing"  for a online bulliten board as i do when constructing a piece of academic literature.



Bless 'im!

From what I can gather, you don't construct much academic writing at all, but I do hope what you write is not literature


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> He's the one who hasn't made the effort to maintain contact with his dissertation supervisor. He doesn't deserve to pass.



Ah that’s right, I completely forget that you knew ALL the details.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> Bless 'im!
> 
> From what I can gather, you don't construct much academic writing at all, but I do hope what you write is not literature



An essay is a form of literature, is it not?


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

From my experience of supervising students and helping them with their dissertations, you quite clearly haven't maintained contact with your supervisor, else you'd have been forced into doing more than you have at the moment.


----------



## Guineveretoo (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> An essay is a form of literature, is it not?



Er, no.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Whenever i go into the slightest bit of detail im accused of trying to weasel my way out the situation. The supervisor i was assigned to seems to be a ridiculously busy guy.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Just how long _is_ this 'well-earned' break of yours going to last, Onslow?

I'm curious....


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> Er, no.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literature


----------



## Guineveretoo (Apr 30, 2007)

So, after 3 years at university, during which you completely focussed on work and gained a full understanding of what was required of you and of your supervisor/tutor, why didn't you complain?

Anyway, I am off now. And so should you be. Get on with it.

Innit.


----------



## Guineveretoo (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literature



FFS

You are quoting wikipedia when you inadvertently used a wrong word! 

I do hope you don't quote wikipedia in your dissertation/essay


----------



## maomao (Apr 30, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> Er, no.



Yes it is.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> So, after 3 years at university, during which you completely focussed on work and gained a full understanding of what was required of you and of your supervisor/tutor, why didn't you complain?
> 
> Anyway, I am off now. And so should you be. Get on with it.
> 
> Innit.



Well like i say, the problem with hindsight is separating what you know now from what you knew then.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Whenever i go into the slightest bit of detail im accused of trying to weasel my way out the situation. The supervisor i was assigned to seems to be a ridiculously busy guy.



Your dissertation is your responsibility.

It was your responsibility to make appointments with him, and ensure they happened. If he was truly that busy, and you were having problems getting hold of him, you should have raised this as an issue first with him, and then with the head of department to resolve the matter.

You could also have emailed him with any questions you may have had, or if you needed to set up a meeting.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> FFS
> 
> You are quoting wikipedia when you inadvertently used a wrong word!
> 
> I do hope you don't quote wikipedia in your dissertation/essay




But i didnt use the wrong word.
Anyway, petty crap.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Your dissertation is your responsibility.
> 
> It was your responsibility to make appointments with him, and ensure they happened. If he was truly that busy, and you were having problems getting hold of him, you should have raised this as an issue first with him, and then with the head of department to resolve the matter.
> 
> You could also have emailed him with any questions you may have had, or if you needed to set up a meeting.




You are correct in everything you have just said, but i am not trying to dispute ANY of this.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Whenever i go into the slightest bit of detail im accused of trying to weasel my way out the situation. The supervisor i was assigned to seems to be a ridiculously busy guy.



Sounds like an excuse to me.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 30, 2007)

Sadly in the world of marketing the bits of paper they produce to try to sell stuff they probably describe as 'literature'.  Although it doesn't qualify as literature even under the Wikipedia definition.  Any bit of paper with words on according to American business usage is 'literature'.  It is a very loose use of the word, but that is the sad state of the world of selling and buying that we seem to live in these days.  

'Literary merit' would not be understood by anyone in marketing even if they were selling novels I guess.  Here I am not having a particular go at Onslow The Unready, just the whole world of marketing that dominates our lives and whose values he is learning, or not as the case may be.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Sounds like an excuse to me.



I am saying that he was a ridiculously busy guy, but at the same time i am aware that i could of gone about getting his attention. This talk of me trying to justify myself is bizzare, i know, without any shadow of doubt that the reason that i am in this situation is 100% down to no one else but me.


----------



## Iam (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Stop being funnier than me Iam!
> 
> It's clearly not beneficial to the monothought clique



Can't you even let me have **one**??


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Anyway, shouldn't you be working on your dissertation now?


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Iam said:
			
		

> Can't you even let me have **one**??



It's just my jealousy at you being the pinnacle of humour


----------



## Iam (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Anyway, shouldn't you be working on your dissertation now?



*goes to write dissertation*


----------



## chilango (Apr 30, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> FFS
> 
> You are quoting wikipedia when you inadvertently used a wrong word!
> 
> I do hope you don't quote wikipedia in your dissertation/essay



from an email sent to students on my course form our tutor:



> (Wikepedia does not count as an academic source, nor other websites like it, please note this).




...and we're postgrads ffs!


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

Not YOU!

Him!!! 

You should be eating pizza and drinking wine


----------



## ViolentPanda (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Balbi your personal jibes are a waste of time. They can either work in two ways. The first way would be that the remarks actually ring true with the person you are accusing of being a dribbling wreck on the bus. In this instance they would hurt, as they would hit a raw nerve with the accused. The second way in which they work is in a instance were the petty little jibes are so off the mark it agitates the accused because they are being portrayed in a light that isn't accurate.
> 
> However in this instance i couldn't care less because i'm so unaffected by the remarks I simply gloss over them. I think you know this to, denoting that you are only wasting your time writing them to impress your little mates. Group mentality at its most observable.



Axtually they work in *three* ways.

You missed the one about the recipient of the jibes being so amoral, so self-involved and self-centred, such a devolved specimen of humanity that they just don't give a fuck.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> .
> 
> 'Literary merit' would not be understood by anyone in marketing even if they were selling novels I guess..



Just because I intend to work within the marketing industry does not mean that i cannot appreciate quality literature. The same will apply for countless others. I find the stereotyping that people seem to be applying to those who work within a particular profession to be a little naive.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Maybe you'd be better off trying to buy a psych dissertation



Nah, he's just retailing you some pop-psych he probably heard on "Tricia" (time that could have been better spent at his dissertation, eh?  ).


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 30, 2007)

That reminds me I am supposed to be writing a dissertation for someone who is a bit behind with their work.  They are paying well though, I think £4,000 for two days solid work is not a bad hourly rate.  The hard bit is putting in a scattering of basic English mistakes to make it look like the work of the person who is buying it.  

I could of been working on there essay while I was on here - what a looser I am.


----------



## Iam (Apr 30, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Not YOU!
> 
> Him!!!
> 
> You should be eating pizza and drinking wine



Oven's on.

Just gotta find a corkscrew.


----------



## Iam (Apr 30, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> It's just my jealousy at you being the pinnacle of humour



I shouldn't let it eat you up, it won't last. I promise...


----------



## ViolentPanda (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Whenever i go into the slightest bit of detail im accused of trying to weasel my way out the situation. The supervisor i was assigned to seems to be a ridiculously busy guy.



They all are.

Strangely enough though, that doesn't usually mean they won't find time for you, if you can be bothered to spend a bit of time chasing them.


----------



## Balbi (Apr 30, 2007)

Iam said:
			
		

> I shouldn't let it eat you up, it won't last. I promise...



It'd better not! *shakes fist*


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I find the stereotyping that people seem to be applying to those who work within a particular profession to be a little naive.



Hence your attempt at reinforcing the stereotype by trying to weasel your way out an academic jam . .


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

8ball said:
			
		

> Hence your attempt at reinforcing the stereotype by trying to weasel your way out an academic jam . .



But that wouldn't make me any less capable of enjoying and appreciating quality literature.


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

We have a whole thread devoted to _Men's Health_, as it happens . . .


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> .../... someone trying to take the easy route out of doing some boring work, a lazy arse, granted.



This can only underscore my conclusion that Onslow (isn't that an utterly lazy character in some UK TV serial?) never saw the inside of any university building.

salaam.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Whenever i go into the slightest bit of detail im accused of trying to weasel my way out the situation. The supervisor i was assigned to seems to be a ridiculously busy guy.




That is because professors actually *work*. I am sure you are surprised to discover this new verb. 
It isn't Alien Import, a left-over of E.T.'s latest visit. 
It exists in every language I know. 

salaam.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> This can only underscore my conclusion that Onslow (isn't that an utterly lazy character in some UK TV serial?) never saw the inside of any university building.
> 
> salaam.



Isn't Aldebaran the name of some kind of demon?


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> That is because professors actually *work*. I am sure you are surprised to discover this new verb.
> It isn't Alien Import, a left-over of E.T.'s latest visit.
> It exists in every language I know.
> 
> salaam.



This point has been addressed on countless times, throughout the thread.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Isn't Aldebaran the name of some kind of demon?



Maybe in your confused brain it is 
If you can't even figure out what my innocent membername means and/or its origin, how on earth do youplan to produce  a thesis of any acceptable academic standards?

salaam.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Isn't Aldebaran the name of some kind of demon?


A star.


----------



## mauvais (Apr 30, 2007)

Antares Aldebaran Altair Wolf 359 Betelgeuse


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

And a horrible Demon, how apt.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aldebaran_(demon)


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

Aldebaran was thought to be a possible origin point for the Übermenschen in Nazi mysticism


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Crispy said:
			
		

> A star.



mmm... 

A Brilliant Red Burning Star.

salaam.


----------



## mauvais (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> And a horrible Demon, how apt.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aldebaran_(demon)


Ah yes, pseudepigraphal non-canon Christian scripture, I follow it closely.


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

more Aldebaran facts:

In Douglas Adams' The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Aldebaran is mentioned once. In 576 thousand million years, right after the Universe has ended, the guests at Milliways (the eponymous restaurant) will be served sweets and delicious Aldebaranian liqueur. In the original radio broadcast, Roy Hudd, playing the restaurant's maître d', Max Quordlepleen, mispronounced the name as "Adelbaran". 

int wikipedia brilliant!


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

mauvais said:
			
		

> Ah yes, pseudepigraphal non-canon Christian scripture, I follow it closely.



Ooh, aren't _we_ the culture vulture.

La dee dahh . . .


----------



## mauvais (Apr 30, 2007)

8ball said:
			
		

> Ooh, aren't _we_ the culture vulture.
> 
> La dee dahh . . .


Silence! for I quoth the Book of Enoch!



> Woe to you who make deceitful and false measures,
> And (to them) who cause bitterness on the earth;
> For they shall thereby be utterly consumed.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

8ball said:
			
		

> Aldebaran was thought to be a possible origin point for the Übermenschen in Nazi mysticism



Never heard of that. I'm not a specialist in Nazi mysticism for obvious reasons 

Note to Onslow: Do yourself a favour and stay away from Wikipedia The Most Obvious Non-Source.

salaam.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

8ball said:
			
		

> more Aldebaran facts:
> 
> In Douglas Adams' The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Aldebaran is mentioned once. In 576 thousand million years, right after the Universe has ended, the guests at Milliways (the eponymous restaurant) will be served sweets and delicious Aldebaranian liqueur. In the original radio broadcast, Roy Hudd, playing the restaurant's maître d', Max Quordlepleen, mispronounced the name as "Adelbaran".
> 
> int wikipedia brilliant!



mmm... Now even abused as a name for Satanic Western Alcohol. Maybe I should switch to Arabic script.

salaam.


----------



## 8ball (Apr 30, 2007)

The geographical orientation of the alcohol is never touched upon.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Apr 30, 2007)

The word _alcohol _is of Arabic origin.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

This asks for some editing.  




			
				mauvais said:
			
		

> Woe to you who make deceitful and false measures,



for unto you shall come no delightful pleasures



> And (to them) who cause bitterness on the earth;



and take academic education for dirt.



> For they shall thereby be utterly consumed.



By Aldebaran, Judge of the Doomed.

(Don't say you weren't warned)

salaam.


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> The word _alcohol _is of Arabic origin.



That is what we let you drunks believe. 

salaam.


----------



## Onslow (Apr 30, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> By Aldebaran, Judge of the Doomed.
> 
> (Don't say you weren't warned)
> 
> salaam.



Quaking in my boots  Who are you again?


----------



## Aldebaran (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Quaking in my boots  Who are you again?



You really don't want to know.

salaam.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (Apr 30, 2007)

He's your tutor


----------



## mrs quoad (Apr 30, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Quaking in my boots  Who are you again?


9 McNuggets and medium fries, please


----------



## citydreams (Apr 30, 2007)

not sure he's got enough fingers to count to 9


----------



## laptop (Apr 30, 2007)

citydreams said:
			
		

> not sure he's got enough fingers to count to 9



I was suspecting too *many* fingers to count to 9...


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2007)

LilMissHissyFit said:
			
		

> He's your tutor



    

Oh, if only that were true. The universe would be a wonderful place.

And Onslow:

(not my picture, it was laptop or longdog last year)


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

laptop said:
			
		

> I was suspecting too *many* fingers to count to 9...




 
Gimmie six


----------



## SubComandante (May 1, 2007)

I'm reading this thread whilst being bang in the middle of a late night/and most likely all night session on my dissertation to give a draft to my tutor tomorrow. I shouldn't have left all this to do so late and I feel like I've aged 10 years this past couple of weeks. It's easy to look back at all the nights out I shouldn't have been on and the days I've spent wasting my time, but I know one thing - one way or another I am going to finish it, and I will know that it was my own work. 
I'm not having a go Onslow, I know how stressful it is. But just get an extension if you feel like you dont have enough time. If you get it you will naturally use your time a lot more efficiently and you'll have something to call your own, crap or not.

Back to it ...


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

SubComandante said:
			
		

> I'm not having a go Onslow, I know how stressful it is. But just get an extension if you feel like you dont have enough time. If you get it you will naturally use your time a lot more efficiently and you'll have something to call your own, crap or not.
> 
> Back to it ...



Well, thats the road im currently going down mate. Ill be up till the early hours too. Bastard innit. Good luck.


----------



## SubComandante (May 1, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Well, thats the road im currently going down mate. Ill be up till the early hours too. Bastard innit. Good luck.



Honestly mate, you CAN do it. Look back at everything you've ever done in uni previously and remind yourself that you've got to your final year despite all those late night sessions, last minute essays, caffeine fixes and moments of madness (I'm talking from my own experience here anyway).

Good luck


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

SubComandante said:
			
		

> Honestly mate, you CAN do it. Look back at everything you've ever done in uni previously and remind yourself that you've got to your final year despite all those late night sessions, last minute essays, caffeine fixes and moments of madness (I'm talking from my own experience here anyway).
> 
> Good luck



Your experience closley mirrors mine and i bet shit loads of others hehe. I just got that pissed off with it all, the ominous burden looming over me and i desperately thought, i wonder if there is an easy way out of this and started this thread. Moment of madness i guess. I managed to nail 1500 words today, quality aside, at this stage its quantity isn't it. It will be reeeet!


----------



## mrs quoad (May 1, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Your experience closley mirrors mine and i bet shit loads of others hehe. I just got that pissed off with it all, the ominous burden looming over me and i desperately thought, i wonder if there is an easy way out of this and started this thread. Moment of madness i guess. I managed to nail 1500 words today, quality aside, at this stage its quantity isn't it. It will be reeeet!


Well done!

And can I have fries with that?


----------



## AnnaKarpik (May 1, 2007)

Hocus Eye. said:
			
		

> This Onslow creature makes me sick.  I hate reading his pathetic wingeing posts and feeble self-justification.  He just won't take F O for an answer.  I hope he is very much the exception among this generation of students.



Sadly not.
There is a student on First Daughter's course who claims to be proud of the fact that she has not written any of her course essays. One hopes she is equally proud of having dumped the author of these essays in a particularly brutal way and appreciates how tempting it is for him to post his essay notes to the college authorities.


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

.


----------



## Guineveretoo (May 1, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> .



This you bumping the thread to remind us all of your folly? 

If you just want support and a chat, why not start a new thread asking for support and a chat about how the dissertation is developing. I think you may be surprised at how helpful this lot can be, if they put their minds to it


----------



## Iam (May 1, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> .



Probably for the best, that edit.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> I think you may be surprised at how helpful this lot can be, if they put their minds to it



And their hearts. 

Onslow, how are things there. Do you already remember the name of your tutor and did you send him a mail yet.

Don't know on how many copies you have to deliver the culminated result of your sweat, but the last resort for extension of deadlines is to claim that your Hard Disk betrayed you, all your files are blocked (don't push it by claiming they are deleted) and that hence you couldn't print out a letter. Let alone a page. Let alone have the binding done. (You can also say it caught fire but that is less credible.) That can give you a day or 3 extra unless your prof has reason to believe you are a PC Genius.

salaam.


----------



## Guineveretoo (May 1, 2007)

Most universities seem to have cottoned on to this excuse, and state that this is not an acceptable excuse.

It genuinely happened to my daughter (at an earlier stage), because she had a crappy second hand computer which a mate set up for her, and she got no sympathy from anyone except me. After that, she used a memory stick and saved every few minutes


----------



## Guineveretoo (May 1, 2007)

Iam said:
			
		

> Probably for the best, that edit.



Did you see the post before it was edited then?


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> Most universities seem to have cottoned on to this excuse, and state that this is not an acceptable excuse.



Despite protests of feminists, being female while crying your eyes out still helps with male staff  



> After that, she used a memory stick and saved every few minutes



Technical toys are serious disturbers of student plots.  


salaam.


----------



## Guineveretoo (May 1, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> Despite protests of feminists, being female while crying your eyes out still helps with male staff
> 
> 
> 
> ...



My daughter is the daughter of a feminist, and she completely believed the statement about not an excuse, so didn't try that approach. She did get me to drive over to her halls of residence and try and rescue it, though. Without success.

You know, if never occurred to her to buy a dissertation


----------



## AnnaKarpik (May 1, 2007)

Small aside; if I write your work for you, I lose my degree too when it comes to light, that right? Does that count if my subject is entirely unrelated to yours so that the help could not be described as specialist?


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

Iam said:
			
		

> Probably for the best, that edit.



I know  




> Don't know on how many copies you have to deliver the culminated result of your sweat, but the last resort for extension of deadlines is to claim that your Hard Disk betrayed you, all your files are blocked (don't push it by claiming they are deleted) and that hence you couldn't print out a letter. Let alone a page. Let alone have the binding done. (You can also say it caught fire but that is less credible.) That can give you a day or 3 extra unless your prof has reason to believe you are a PC Genius.



You have read my mind. That was my exact excuse



> Small aside; if I write your work for you, I lose my degree too when it comes to light, that right? Does that count if my subject is entirely unrelated to yours so that the help could not be described as specialist?



If you were to write my work for me, which im not asking for anymore by the way, but if you were to you would not lose your degree no. If you gave me a piece of your past work and allowed me to hand that in, and then i was found out, thats when the shit would hit the fan.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> My daughter is the daughter of a feminist, and she completely believed the statement about not an excuse, so didn't try that approach. She did get me to drive over to her halls of residence and try and rescue it, though. Without success.
> 
> You know, if never occurred to her to buy a dissertation



Last year I did the editing of a thesis for a Kurdish friend who doesn't have much idea how to *write* the language of his university. 
He came to the glorious idea to ask for my help in a state of complete panick, about a week prevous to his deadline. So we did it by mail by which I had no background at all in his subject. Hence I added all my correction proposals in red to avoid changing what he really meant without him noticing what happened. Litteraly every sentence needed reconstruction, not to speak of words and ideas he had thought in his language but which gave a hilarious result because of litteral translation.  
Took me hours of headache but it was finished two days before he had to deliver it. I called him the day of his oral  to hear he used the trick of "PC damage" because he still had to add his bibliography.
I was for a moment tempted to call his promotor (which was once a professor of mine too) but I waited with that story after he graduated a few months later. Then I found out he re-edited my version, re-adding a substantial amount of his former grammatical errors etc.. all over again.
That is what friends are for, I suppose  

salaam.


----------



## Guineveretoo (May 1, 2007)

I did quite a lot of editorial stuff on my daughter's dissertation and on her earlier essays, too.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> I did quite a lot of editorial stuff on my daughter's dissertation and on her earlier essays, too.



I suppose you had her nearby to explain what the hell she meant when you couldn't dare to make a guess on it.
He was on an other continent and I was as good as illiterate on the subject. At least I know something about that too now. 

I swear I shall never engage myself to such a "friend's service" again. Everyone who reads that piece must think I suffered of a linguistic black-out.  

salaam.


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> If you just want support and a chat, why not start a new thread asking for support and a chat about how the dissertation is developing. I think you may be surprised at how helpful this lot can be, if they put their minds to it




Even after this thread?!


----------



## Dubversion (May 1, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Even after this thread?!




no, wouldn't bet on it


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

To be honest, I think you've got a long way to go to redeeming yourself in the eyes of urban.


----------



## Iam (May 1, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> Did you see the post before it was edited then?



Yeah, but I don't see any point in further exacerbating the situation by mentioning what it said, and the poster himself appears to agree.


----------



## Balbi (May 1, 2007)

Onslow, how many words have you


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Onslow, how many words have you



2500.
Only 9500 to go. Whoopie feckin do.


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

Better get a wriggle on then, onslow.

You've got 6-9 days work staring you in the face, depending on your word speed.


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

I reckon for about every hour i spend "working", about half an hour of this is productive.


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

Then you need to knuckle down a bit more, get off the internet, plan what you're going to do and just do it.


----------



## Onslow (May 1, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Then you need to knuckle down a bit more, get off the internet, plan what you're going to do and just do it.




Wise words.
Logging off.


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

*has been bossy again*


----------



## Balbi (May 1, 2007)

With nine days and 9.5k, that's 1.05k words a day.

With six days and 9.5k, that's 1.5k words a day.

I wrote 10,000 words over two days at this time last year after my laptop went nova on me. Missed the FA Cup final


----------



## absinthe pirate (May 1, 2007)

Ok first off i feel that i should stick up for the guy dispite it all. 

I am a 3rd year student, and I was sitting there at 3am in the morning staring at my finnished but lame excuse for a dissertation, trying to wrok out why, although i researched/read stuff through the term i didn't write it down sooner, (a week of writing it) why it was sounding so lame considering i put work in and tried, and how easy it would be to buy an essay offline on my subject...just to read...just to see...

I of course didn't, i worked through the night re reading as much as red bull would let me and tweaking and adding quotes and bumping up evidence etc till 12 noon, when 4 hours before deadline i was happy with it, or as happy as i could be.

But i can understand how desperate it feels and a weaker peson....




			
				Agent Sparrow said:
			
		

> Jeez, I feel guilty enough when I reference a paper in an essay and I've only read the abstract!



SO true!  THAT i've done, but only 1 or 2 at most, and i have at least read a bit of em.... passing off anything done by others? I couldn't.




			
				lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> You can't cope with an _almost-a-subject_ degree. You've got shit chance in the real world.



Try not to knock the degree, its quite technical (yes i know i'm a philosophy student but i did it for the love of learning not a means to an end only so please listen lol) any degree can be hard, depending on how you look at it/what you are good at. My mate is doing an actuarial degree (mightily clever) but my essay topics make her shudder!

Point is i feel there's no need to focus on outside factors when the main topic for attack is there...the degree is irrelivant to the morality.




			
				lightsoutlondon said:
			
		

> I thangyew.



This however made it all ok..I LOVE THAT PHRASE!  




			
				Dubversion said:
			
		

> you have a very fucked up view of the world - you'll do wonderfully in marketing, a credit to your industry.



Yet again peeps, try to be civil! I quite like the idea of marketing...




			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> I have 7 days.



You can do it, red bull and skittles mate, red bull and skittles...




			
				Onslow said:
			
		

> Yes. I dont think starting now would be worthwhile, il have to start a fresh tomorrow and dedicate myself to it for the next week. Its only a week out of my entire life.



Best o luck, you are doing the right thing, better to get a 2.2 as a man then a 2:1 as a cheat, and surely, if you have done so well elsewhere even with a 2.2 you could get your 2.1 overall?


----------



## absinthe pirate (May 1, 2007)

treefrog said:
			
		

> I once chased a hedgehog around a garden with a torch



How very dare you!


----------



## Bazza (May 1, 2007)

Onslow, good luck if you've decided to write it. You'll feel a lot better for it though.


----------



## mrs quoad (May 1, 2007)

I don't know why, but Onslow's posts reminds me of this pic:


----------



## mrs quoad (May 1, 2007)

Incredibly wrong, but beautifully uncomprehending?


----------



## lights.out.london (May 1, 2007)

absinthe pirate said:
			
		

> Try not to knock the degree, its quite technical (yes i know i'm a philosophy student but i did it for the love of learning not a means to an end only so please listen lol) any degree can be hard, depending on how you look at it/what you are good at. My mate is doing an actuarial degree (mightily clever) but my essay topics make her shudder!



I'm a philosophy grad (with an acceptance onto a p/t Phd course for Oct 2007). 

I loathe cheats.

If s/he has to cheat at this stage of their life/career, I fear for them in the corporate world.

The guy is a cock.

End of.


----------



## perplexis (May 1, 2007)

Amateurs! I wrote the last 25000 words of my Ph.D thesis in 3 weeks. Over Christmas and New Year. Which involved a fair amount of being absolutely mangled.
I'm defending it tomorrow though, so I don't yet know if this is a viable strategy at my level, but it should get you through undergrad.
10-12k words in 10 days is do-able. Surely the dissertation doesn't have to be the maximum possible length? Examiners like short pieces of work!


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

Good luck for tomorrow, perplexis.


----------



## perplexis (May 1, 2007)

Thanks eq!
It'll be fine, everyone says so. As I'm sure you experienced!


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

Well yes, but when your supervisor tells you the day before they can ask you ANY maths question, it doesn't stop you from panicking.

I took a sleeping tablet the night before and I swear I was still half out of it for most of the viva.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

perplexis said:
			
		

> Amateurs!





Good luck tomorrow. 
If by accident some panick occurs, you only need to remember yourself that you know more about your research then those who didn't do it. It is safer though not to say it. 

salaam.


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

And your thesis will have mistakes in it, once hardbound, that you could have sworn weren't there to start with.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Well yes, but when your supervisor tells you the day before they can ask you ANY maths question, it doesn't stop you from panicking.



The though on its own is good enough for me to congratulate myself once more I safely stayed away from anything that could trigger such prospects.

salaam.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> And your thesis will have mistakes in it, once hardbound, that you could have sworn weren't there to start with.



Mine weren't readable, so that was safe enough.

salaam.


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

Aldebaran, I keep meaning to ask you - what does 'salaam' mean?


----------



## perplexis (May 1, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Well yes, but when your supervisor tells you the day before they can ask you ANY maths question, it doesn't stop you from panicking.
> 
> I took a sleeping tablet the night before and I swear I was still half out of it for most of the viva.


 I'm sure glad I didn't do maths now! They might ask me some stats though, I wouldn't enjoy that.
Thankfully, my supervisor is on holiday! 
I can only scare myself now... 

I am pleased that onslow has decided to pull his finger out. Much as I was enjoying this thread.


----------



## 8ball (May 1, 2007)

Urban in "Honesty in Marketing" Shocker  

I think we may have ruined the poor lad's career


----------



## Fez909 (May 1, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Aldebaran, I keep meaning to ask you - what does 'salaam' mean?



Peace, I think.


----------



## Crispy (May 1, 2007)

Fez909 said:
			
		

> Peace, I think.


that's the literal translation, but it's more of a blessing (eg. peace be on you) - a kind of nounverb, rather than a direct noun 'peace'

eg. I don't think the arabic version of war and peace is called war and salaam.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Aldebaran, I keep meaning to ask you - what does 'salaam' mean?



It is part of the Islamic "salaam aleikum" ( = "peace be upon/with you" hence "salaam" translates as peace)

To a Muslim it means more then just wishing "peace". 
"May God's peace be with you always and everywhere" would better translate its intention.  
How to use salaam aleikum, where and to whom it is permitted to be said etc.. is discussed at lenght since the early days of Islam. 

I first started to use "salaam" as closure of my mails, in a way to soften the impersonality of the medium. Hence I use it to close my posts on a message board too.

salaam.


----------



## 8ball (May 1, 2007)

I like 'salaam' as a way of closing emails.  

I used to use the term 'Peace off' but it kept getting misconstrued.


----------



## equationgirl (May 1, 2007)

I like it, aldebaran, and thank you to everyone who explained it to me.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 1, 2007)

Crispy said:
			
		

> eg. I don't think the arabic version of war and peace is called war and salaam.



I read Tolstoj's "War and Peace" in an other language but the use of "salaam" is a possibility. Although to me "sulh" (can mean reconciliation, conciliation, settlement but also peacemaking, peace conlusion or peace in political sense) would be better. 

salaam.


----------



## Guineveretoo (May 1, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Even after this thread?!



Depends who sees the other thread, I suppose 

But you will never know unless you try, I guess.


----------



## Fez909 (May 1, 2007)

Crispy said:
			
		

> 



What's that? I see a square with what looks like some digits in (0, 0, 0 and 1)

Is my computer being weird or is it a strange character I've never seen before?


----------



## hippogriff (May 2, 2007)

Onslow....


----------



## Onslow (May 2, 2007)

hippogriff said:
			
		

> Onslow....




 
Probably the only likeable character in the entire show.


----------



## Jonti (May 2, 2007)

Fez909 said:
			
		

> What's that? I see a square with what looks like some digits in (0, 0, 0 and 1)
> 
> Is my computer being weird or is it a strange character I've never seen before?


The precise font to display that character is not installed on your system.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (May 2, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> *has been bossy again*


You should charge EG.. nice little sideline, the bossy academic.... ( finds cap, gown, cane and fishnets for EG)


----------



## equationgirl (May 2, 2007)

Sounds like a nice little business idea, LMHF  

Want to be a partner in it?


----------



## TheNegotiator (May 2, 2007)

Is this thread STILL running

FFS give me £300 and I'll give you my marketing dissitation


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 2, 2007)

TheNegotiator said:
			
		

> Is this thread STILL running
> 
> FFS give me £300 and I'll give you my marketing *dissitation *



Not unless it's been spell checked


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (May 2, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Sounds like a nice little business idea, LMHF
> 
> Want to be a partner in it?



I'll be your manager... *passes whip, munches chocolate* 
Tis good this managing lark... now Mrs get to it!


----------



## Onslow (May 13, 2007)

Thankfully i have managed to get an extension for my dissertation due to, ahem, extenuating circumstances. This means that I am able to have quite a good crack at producing a dissertation consisting of my own ideas and work. To be honest, I must admit, my orginal idea of trying to buy one seems rather improper.

I have been at Urban for years now,( longer than my join date suggests) and over this time have to come to realise that littered around the place are scholars, academics and professors. Along with lots of other people with far more experience in life, and academic work than little old me.

It's for this reason that i shall soon be starting another thread asking those that want to, to provide help hints and information in order to aid me with the design and construction of my dissertation. Those that do not want to contribute or help need not, however those that could be persuaded to assist and inform would be welcomed gratefully.

Many thanks, A reformed man.


----------



## equationgirl (May 14, 2007)

So long as you say please, you might get some help


----------



## mrs quoad (May 14, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Thankfully i have managed to get an extension for my dissertation due to, ahem, extenuating circumstances. This means that I am able to have quite a good crack at producing a dissertation consisting of my own ideas and work. To be honest, I must admit, my orginal idea of trying to buy one seems rather improper.
> 
> I have been at Urban for years now,( longer than my join date suggests) and over this time have to come to realise that littered around the place are scholars, academics and professors. Along with lots of other people with far more experience in life, and academic work than little old me.
> 
> ...


Gosh! The simple sword of truth and trusty shield of fair play at work! Maybe you could write a memoir about your reformed life, or capitalise on your suffering like Jeffrey Archer 

Cynicism aside, I'd personally prefer a bit more tongue when you're belatedly backpedalling and kissing arse, Onslow, but ta for the sentiment 

I'd post a picture of it, but photobucket's sadly disallowed it 

Can I rub you in jam? Please?

How's things going?


----------



## Onslow (May 15, 2007)

> I'd personally prefer a bit more tongue





> Can I rub you in jam? Please?



Are you trying to seduce me Mrs Quoad? 

Things could be worse but at the same time could be better. Thanks for asking.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (May 15, 2007)

You have to pay me first, for accessing EQ's Bossy academic service there is a fee. We'll throw in a good flogging if you pay promptly


----------



## equationgirl (May 15, 2007)

Oh we will, will we?


----------



## Balbi (May 15, 2007)

Is this still going


----------



## equationgirl (May 16, 2007)

Yes.


----------



## free spirit (May 16, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Thankfully i have managed to get an extension for my dissertation due to, ahem, extenuating circumstances. This means that I am able to have quite a good crack at producing a dissertation consisting of my own ideas and work. To be honest, I must admit, my orginal idea of trying to buy one seems rather improper.
> 
> I have been at Urban for years now,( longer than my join date suggests) and over this time have to come to realise that littered around the place are scholars, academics and professors. Along with lots of other people with far more experience in life, and academic work than little old me.
> 
> ...


you do realise in the time you've pissed up the wall with this thread I'd written my dissertation - well I wrote 80% of it in 3 days anyway. Get your head down, get off urban and get it sorted.

Tips for a good dissertation, have a clearly defined aim for the dissertation in terms of what you want to show, make sure the research you use in the dissertation is relevant to that aim, and write a conclusion that answers the question you aimed to answer (and if you can't answer it say why you can't answer it).


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (May 16, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Oh we will, will we?



Oh Ill do the flogging. Im in the mood


----------



## Julie (May 17, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Not atall, if you put it into a ratio, £300 is alot compared to amount of money in my account.



I believe you.

Like I believe John Howard is a good bloke.


----------



## Onslow (May 17, 2007)

Julie said:
			
		

> I believe you.
> 
> Like I believe John Howard is a good bloke.







Looks like a lovely bloke to me.



> Oh Ill do the flogging. Im in the mood




Forgive me for asking, but what does "flogging" mean


----------



## equationgirl (May 17, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Forgive me for asking, but what does "flogging" mean



flogging means beating.

From the Oxford English Dictionary: 

'The practice or system of punishment by blows; an instance of it; a chastisement' 

I'm completely astounded you didn't know that. Seriously.


----------



## LilMissHissyFit (May 17, 2007)

indeed.... someone in the 3rd year at uni should know what flogging means.... 

Are you SURE this dissertation is for you?


----------



## Aldebaran (May 17, 2007)

Yes... Even I know what it means. Of course being Arab I must practice that on women daily but they always say I don't know what I'm doing

Onslow, how is the thesis going. (You shouldn't be on this board now and if you don't know that ...mmmm... )

salaam.


----------



## equationgirl (May 17, 2007)

Aldebaran, the women could show you how its done properly.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 17, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Aldebaran, the women could show you how its done properly.



Tsss... Typical Western talk. Only lunatics give that kind of power to women. Surely you know women can't handle that amount of responsibility. The result owuld be complete chaos.

salaam.


----------



## equationgirl (May 17, 2007)

It's an illusion, alderbaran.

Your women let you think you have the power, when in reality they do.

Have you seen who we have in government?


----------



## Onslow (May 17, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> flogging means beating.
> 
> From the Oxford English Dictionary:
> 
> ...




Well i thought it was ment in the selling sense. As in " I'm flogging some cheap aftershave if your're interested?"


Ive never heard of "flogging" in the violent sense. But then again im not a violent person, so.

In fact, ill be honest with you, when i first read the post:



> You have to pay me first, for accessing EQ's Bossy academic service there is a fee. We'll throw in a good flogging if you pay promptly



I thought it had sexual undertones.


----------



## Onslow (May 17, 2007)

LilMissHissyFit said:
			
		

> indeed.... someone in the 3rd year at uni should know what flogging means....



Should they 

Its abit old fashioned to be fair.


----------



## equationgirl (May 17, 2007)

well, it could have, I guess, if that kind of thing turns you on.

But I was offering nagging services.

so, you done it yet?


----------



## Aldebaran (May 17, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> It's an illusion, alderbaran.
> 
> Your women let you think you have the power, when in reality they do.



In fact I am far too kind to tell them I see right trough that 



> Have you seen who we have in government?




mmm... No, not really. 

Do you mean Tony Blair gets instructions from his wife when Bush phones yet again with a new set of orders?

salaam.


----------



## equationgirl (May 17, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> In fact I am far too kind to tell them I see right trough that .



You are indeed a kind man, alderbaran. You may live come the revolution.




			
				Aldebaran said:
			
		

> Do you mean Tony Blair gets instructions from his wife when Bush phones yet again with a new set of orders?
> 
> salaam.



That is what has long been suspected......


----------



## Aldebaran (May 17, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> You are indeed a kind man, alderbaran. You may live come the revolution.



I'm working on it (staying alive, that is. I'm surrounded by women fighitng to have a piece of me).




> That is what has long been suspected......



This contains explosive material for a conspiracy thread.

salaam.


----------



## Aldebaran (May 17, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Its abit old fashioned to be fair.



It is? 
What is the "modern" word in English for this (tiring) activity?

salaam.


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## equationgirl (May 17, 2007)

Flogging


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## LilMissHissyFit (May 17, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Should they
> 
> Its abit old fashioned to be fair.



Yes, I think someone attending university should have a decent grasp of the english language... anyone who studied english  at GCSE would have come across the world 'Flogging' or did you pay someone to sit those too?


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## Onslow (May 18, 2007)

There is a difference between having a decent grasp of the english language and knowing the meaning of every verb under the sun. Especially archaic ones like that.


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## mrs quoad (May 18, 2007)




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## Chairman Meow (May 18, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> There is a difference between having a decent grasp of the english language and knowing the meaning of every verb under the sun. Especially archaic ones like that.



 How in the name of all thats holy is flogging an archaic word?


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## fishfinger (May 18, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> There is a difference between having a decent grasp of the english language and knowing the meaning of every verb under the sun. Especially archaic ones like that.



Give up, you're flogging a dead horse


----------



## nino_savatte (May 18, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> First off, im not sure if this type of thread is really allowed on the boards, if not, please forgive me, i mean no harm.
> 
> Did anyone here take Marketing as a degree subject at university? Do you still have your dissertation? Can you prove it is of 2:1 standard? If so, i would like to purchase it off you.
> 
> ...



You will be caught. All dissertations are stored in a stack in the library iirc.


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## LilMissHissyFit (May 18, 2007)

Chairman Meow said:
			
		

> How in the name of all thats holy is flogging an archaic word?



It isnt 'down wiv da kidz' innit??


----------



## Onslow (May 18, 2007)

It's just a word that is not used in everyday conversation, or rarely, if ever, needed in my day to day written work. In fact, im currently in the university library and i suspect if I were to go round and ask everyone sat in the immediate surrounding area if they knew the meaning of the word "flogging", they would either stare at me blankly or suggest it has something to do with selling.

Maybe its a word primarily used by those aged 30something and beyond. I just can't be certain. I've never heard of anyone being "flogged" to death.


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## 5t3IIa (May 18, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> It's just a word that is not used in everyday conversation, or rarely, if ever, needed in my day to day written work. In fact, im currently in the university library and i suspect if I were to go round and ask everyone sat in the immediate surrounding area if they knew the meaning of the word "flogging", they would either stare at me blankly or suggest it has something to do with selling.
> 
> Maybe its a word primarily used by those aged 30something and beyond. I just can't be certain. I've never heard of anyone being "flogged" to death.




Ever flogged a dead horse?


I think you have.


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## _angel_ (May 18, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> It's just a word that is not used in everyday conversation, or rarely, if ever, needed in my day to day written work. In fact, im currently in the university library and i suspect if I were to go round and ask everyone sat in the immediate surrounding area if they knew the meaning of the word "flogging", they would either stare at me blankly or suggest it has something to do with selling.
> 
> Maybe its a word primarily used by those aged 30something and beyond. I just can't be certain. I've never heard of anyone being "flogged" to death.



No, trust me, it's just you that's been living in a bubble of unawareness.


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## Onslow (May 18, 2007)

_angel_ said:
			
		

> No, trust me, it's just you that's been living in a bubble of unawareness.




Because I didnt know one of the meanings of a particular word 

It appears to me that your living in a bubble of naivety. Trust me.


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## Onslow (May 18, 2007)

5t3IIa said:
			
		

> Ever flogged a dead horse?



We've had that one.
Nice try like.


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## 5t3IIa (May 18, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> We've had that one.
> Nice try like.



If you've heard that phrase then you should know what flogging meanz, innit.


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## Onslow (May 19, 2007)

Yeah.

Well I thought it ment trying to sell a dead horse 

It's still the same idea.


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## Guineveretoo (May 19, 2007)

Disturbingly badly educated!


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## Aldebaran (May 19, 2007)

Onslow, unless you are not English (as in: English is your first language) you _must_ be playing a game here. 

I never studied this language for one minute in my life and even I know the meaning of "flogging" and "flogging a dead horse".

Really... In my opinion this belongs to primary educaiton level.

salaam.


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## Onslow (May 19, 2007)

Guineveretoo said:
			
		

> Disturbingly badly educated!



You're so wrong.


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## DarthSydodyas (May 19, 2007)

Ill right it four yo


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## mrs quoad (May 20, 2007)

I would like to propose that we, the people of Urban, gather the accumulated wealth of our financial resources together and chip in to buy Onslow a gift.

My suggestion would be one of these as I have a feeling he could do with getting acquainted with them.

Both the gift and the head size seem more than a little bit apt.

Anyone else up for it?


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## felixthecat (May 20, 2007)

i find it very disturbing that someone educated to degree level (almost) doesn't know the meaning of 'flogging'.

Wtf is going on in schools if student leave with such a limited vocabulary? English can be an amazing expressive language when used well - supposing you know enough words, that is.

*phew - just asked both of my kids (aged 15 and 17) and they knew what 'flogging' meant.*


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## littlebabyjesus (May 20, 2007)

Onslow. you are an idiot of the first rank. 

Not to know something is always forgivable, but your immediate small-minded reaction is that if you didn't know it already, it probably isn't worth knowing, and how could you possibly be expected to know it?

BY STUDYING?

But no, you're happy in your ignorance, aren't you.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

felixthecat said:
			
		

> i find it very disturbing that someone educated to degree level (almost) doesn't know the meaning of 'flogging'.
> 
> Wtf is going on in schools if student leave with such a limited vocabulary? English can be an amazing expressive language when used well - supposing you know enough words, that is.
> 
> *phew - just asked both of my kids (aged 15 and 17) and they knew what 'flogging' meant.*



I know, it's quite frightening. And it's hardly an archaic word.

Wonder if he's done his dissertation yet?


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## Onslow (May 20, 2007)

What a bizzare over-reaction.

I suppose all the posters who are passing judgement know all the meanings of all the words in existance then?

No? I didn't think so. I can quite happily admit that, im 21, I still have a fair bit to learn. Others on the other hand like to potray themselves as all knowing super beings. I can't quite work out if its sad or hillarious.
I'll settle for a combination of both i think


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## Balbi (May 20, 2007)

If he hasn't I could do with that 300 quid right now  

I'm shaking my head at 'over thirties must use that word and know what it means'. Yes Onslow because your generation have shaken the language formulas of centuries to the ground with your hip happening 'oh no I can't be arsed, can I not buy myself a certificate which says I did it instead' counterculture popular beat combos.

edit: i'm 22 btw. Ask for a thesaurus for christmas mate, it worked for me


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> What a bizzare over-reaction.
> 
> I suppose all the posters who are passing judgement know all the meanings of all the words in existance then?
> 
> ...



Not all the words in existence, no. 

But I know what flogging means, and I knew what it meant at 21.


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## Balbi (May 20, 2007)

Note: THIS IS NOT A THESAURUS.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> If he hasn't I could do with that 300 quid right now



I could do with the money myself, want to spilt it 50:50?

I reckon between us we could come up with a pretty shit-hot dissertation in a few days.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Note: THIS IS NOT A THESAURUS.



as Lightsoutlondon said the other day:

Diet coke/monitor interface


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## Balbi (May 20, 2007)

Meet you in the Albert on Saturday and we can focus our full attention on the concept of marketing 

Or we could just have a cracking night out while Onslow slogs through marketing strategy 

I'm honestly torn


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## Onslow (May 20, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Ask for a thesaurus for christmas mate, it worked for me



I fancy a Nintendo Wii to be honest.


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## mrs quoad (May 20, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I fancy a Nintendo Wii to be honest.


Perhaps you could pay me three hundred quid to play it for you? 

Ah. Second thoughts, I'll be back at uni by then. Probably be too busy studying to waste time Wiiing. 

Studying's what those of us who want to pass do at uni, Onslow, you really should try it some time


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I fancy a Nintendo Wii to be honest.



Seriously mate, a dictionary and a thesaurus might be more use for you in the long run.

Anyway, is it done yet?


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Meet you in the Albert on Saturday and we can focus our full attention on the concept of marketing
> 
> Or we could just have a cracking night out while Onslow slogs through marketing strategy
> 
> I'm honestly torn



A difficult decision, it has to be said.

We could always do our dissertation on 'The marketing of club nights to an advertisement-resistant community'.


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## Onslow (May 20, 2007)

mrs quoad said:
			
		

> Studying's what those of us who want to pass do at uni, Onslow, you really should try it some time




Well, my studying has got me this far. A mere month away from graduating.
Also 85% on my last essay sort of confirms to me that I am quite capable of partaking in this studying lark. I dont expect anyone to believe that by the way, but alas, its the truth.


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## Balbi (May 20, 2007)

"The role of the revolutionary dj collective in the destruction of the big time charlie soopahstah DJ marketing paradigm"


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## Onslow (May 20, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Anyway, is it done yet?



Not yet, I'm having to put it on the back-burner of sorts for the next couple of week, because I really need to concentrate on my exams. Joy.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

'Peoples republic of disco: marketing paradigm for the new millenium'


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Not yet, I'm having to put it on the back-burner of sorts for the next couple of week, because I really need to concentrate on my exams. Joy.



FOR FUCKS SAKE ONSLOW.  

When DO you intend finishing it?


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## Balbi (May 20, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> 'Peoples republic of disco: marketing paradigm for the new millenium'



I can hear Dubs fuses blowing as we speak.

(Keane?   )


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## Onslow (May 20, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> FOR FUCKS SAKE ONSLOW.
> 
> When DO you intend finishing it?



  

I can't not revise for my finals!
I have been given untill after the exams because my lecturer agreed that I wont be able to work on it fully due to the need for revision.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Ok, so they're no KLF.....


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## Balbi (May 20, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Ok, so they're no KLF.....



Understatement of the decade.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I can't not revise for my finals!
> I have been given untill after the exams because my lecturer agreed that I wont be able to work on it fully due to the need for revision.



Wasn't the idea to have this thing finished before your finals though?

And I wasn't suggesting you didn't revise for your finals. Muppet.

You know, being able to prioritise key tasks is quite useful in the real world.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Understatement of the decade.



Keane and the KLF : marketing and pop music success


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## Onslow (May 20, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> .
> You know, being able to prioritise key tasks is quite useful in the real world.



So ive heard, which is why I am revising at the moment for my exams ( my priority) with the objective of focusing on my diss after these, as I have time to complete it after they are out of the way.


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Maybe, if you'd organised yourself better, you would have had it done by now.

No extensions in the real world.


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## Onslow (May 20, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> Maybe, if you'd organised yourself better, you would have had it done by now.
> 
> No extensions in the real world.



Can't argue with that.


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## Wookey (May 20, 2007)

> No extensions in the real world.



No reason not to cheat if you can away with it either!!


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## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

Wookey, we've just spent 22 pages showing Onslow the error of his ways.

I think I shall have to slap you for taking us back to square 1.


----------



## mrs quoad (May 20, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Not yet, I'm having to put it on the back-burner of sorts for the next couple of week, because I really need to concentrate on my exams. Joy.


----------



## Julie (May 20, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> I dont expect anyone to believe that by the way



Oh, good.


----------



## littlebabyjesus (May 20, 2007)

equationgirl said:
			
		

> No extensions in the real world.


You've obviously never worked in publishing.


----------



## equationgirl (May 20, 2007)

That's true, I haven't.

I work in intellectual property, where missing a deadline would mean really bad things happening.


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## Onslow (May 21, 2007)

edited: drunk


----------



## butchersapron (May 21, 2007)

Coward  Coked up coward.


----------



## mrs quoad (May 21, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> edited: drunk


Hahaha!

Ladies and gentlemen, we has a winner!!!!!!!







^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Onslow Revisin Hard


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## Onslow (Jun 23, 2007)

Get in!

I got a 2:1. Dont know how, but I did. I am over the moon.


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## Treacle Toes (Jun 23, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Get in!
> 
> I got a 2:1. Dont know how, but I did. I am over the moon.


You are obviously more capable than you think...Next time apply yourself a bit more...Congrats.


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## Onslow (Jun 23, 2007)

Thanks.
 Such a cliche, but you do learn from your mistakes, innit.


----------



## Prince Rhyus (Jun 23, 2007)

Onslow. What have you learnt from the past couple of months? (In terms of events and feedback that you've had from others rather than stuff you revised?)


----------



## Onslow (Jun 23, 2007)

To never come on u75 asking to buy dissertations!


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## Prince Rhyus (Jun 23, 2007)

Well...other than that. Stuff that you're going to take with you into your new career. You got lucky this time. I hope you learnt from the close call and don't have a "next time" because should that come round, you could get stung.

All the best

PR


----------



## ChrisFilter (Jun 23, 2007)

Haha, nice one Onslow!


----------



## Aldebaran (Jun 24, 2007)

Congratulations. See? The first and most important requirement to achieve what you want is to believe that you can do it.

salaam.


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## extra dry (Jun 25, 2007)

Yossarian said:
			
		

> Chances are about half the other people on the course have bought their dissertations somewhere, what´s the point in being a goody 2-shoes and losing out?



well whats the point of education if you know you can get a degree just for money...it ends with a uneducated work force all lieing about what they do, and it will damage image of education not just in uk but around the world..


----------



## Onslow (Jun 26, 2007)

Aldebaran said:
			
		

> Congratulations. See? The first and most important requirement to achieve what you want is to believe that you can do it.
> 
> salaam.



Thanks. Appreciated.


----------



## Guineveretoo (Jun 26, 2007)

Congrats!

Doesn't it feel fantastic knowing you did it through your own efforts?


----------



## fractionMan (Jun 26, 2007)

Oi!  Where's my 300 quid?


----------



## Flavour (Jun 28, 2007)

Archive this thread! 

If only for Onslow's admittance that he thought flogging a dead horse meant trying to sell one.   

Onslow you're a dequerrapone fudshuggler of the second degree. And I don't believe you got a 2:1.


----------



## beeboo (Jun 28, 2007)

Fuckssake I only got a Desmond and I never resorted to such measures.

   

Congrats, begrudgingly


----------



## Meltingpot (Dec 24, 2007)

beeboo said:
			
		

> Fuckssake I only got a Desmond and I never resorted to such measures.
> 
> 
> 
> Congrats, begrudgingly



What's a Desmond?


----------



## marty21 (Dec 24, 2007)

Meltingpot said:
			
		

> What's a Desmond?



desmond tutu


----------



## Balbi (Dec 24, 2007)

Desmonds are the degree for people wot have a social life, but aren't filthy cheats. Obviously.


----------



## marty21 (Dec 24, 2007)

Balbi said:
			
		

> Desmonds are the degree for people wot have a social life, but aren't filthy cheats. Obviously.


----------



## fractionMan (Dec 24, 2007)

thread of the year!


----------



## SpookyFrank (Dec 24, 2007)

Yay! The world has another marketing bod!

And thank fuck for that because we were running short; down to the last half a billion last time I checked  

I hardly need to reiterate Bill Hicks' sage advice on the subject I'm sure


----------



## Wolveryeti (Dec 25, 2007)

Little do you know, Onslow used the printout of this thread in its entirety as the body of his marketing dissertation. Perseverence, a moral compass wonkier than a rollercoaster, and hustling were all contributing factors to his achieving the 2:1.


----------



## Meltingpot (Dec 25, 2007)

marty21 said:
			
		

> desmond tutu



Oh right, I got one of those myself


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 26, 2007)

*mistaken


----------



## DarthSydodyas (Dec 26, 2007)

mrs quoad said:
			
		

> Just to clarify, like


 I think they were on about a 2:2 against 2:1....


----------



## mrs quoad (Dec 26, 2007)

DarthSydodyas said:
			
		

> I think they were on about a 2:2 against 2:1....


Ah.

Oops 

No doubt the same difference


----------



## subversplat (Dec 26, 2007)

Onslow said:
			
		

> Get in!
> 
> I got a 2:1. Dont know how, but I did. I am over the moon.


Nice one! Can I borrow your dissertation?


----------

