# Prince Phillip Watch



## john x (Apr 18, 2009)

I know the BBC love their royals but there seems to be a rolling 'praisefest' of prince Phillip on BBC Breakfast 'News' this morning! 

Has the nasty old shit died? Can't see anything about it on the other news channels. Is it a BBC exclusive? 

john x


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## Goatherd (Apr 18, 2009)

Nah, he's been consorting with queens for 57 years or something.


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## mentalchik (Apr 18, 2009)

It's coz he now has the record as the longest serving consort to the monarch !


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## MightyAphrodite (Apr 18, 2009)

apprently hes the 'longest running royal consort' or some such shit.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8005464.stm


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## Goatherd (Apr 18, 2009)

I think it's also because he's been the royal consort for the longest time.


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## MightyAphrodite (Apr 18, 2009)

Goatherd said:


> I think it's also because he's been the royal consort for the longest time.



i think youre making up stuff!


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## Citizen66 (Apr 18, 2009)

Goatherd said:


> Nah, he's been consorting with queens for 57 years or something.



So he's actually a lord as opposed to a prince?


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## isitme (Apr 18, 2009)

apparently there are 7 prince philip lookalikes in case he is assasinated during wartime


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## MightyAphrodite (Apr 18, 2009)

isitme said:


> apparently there are 7 prince philip lookalikes in case he is assasinated during wartime



6 not counting you.


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## isitme (Apr 18, 2009)

but how do you know who is the real prince philip and which is a meer illusion?


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## MightyAphrodite (Apr 18, 2009)

isitme said:


> but how do you know who is the real prince philip and which is a meer illusion?



give all 7 (8 counting him) of em up to the almighty, let him sort that out.


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## Goatherd (Apr 18, 2009)

My grandad made ignorant racist remarks, but no-one ever called him lovable. They called him a racist.


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## Citizen66 (Apr 18, 2009)

isitme said:


> apparently there are 7 prince philip lookalikes in case he is assasinated during wartime



They used to play terrorist war games with Saddam Hussein and his 7 look alikes and Prince Philip and his 7 and it got well confusing.


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## john x (Apr 18, 2009)

mentalchik said:


> It's coz he now has the record as the longest serving consort to the monarch !



Wasn't that the dear old queen mum? She was very old when she went! 

john x


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## Citizen66 (Apr 18, 2009)

mentalchik said:


> It's coz he now has the record as the longest serving consort to the monarch !



But to be fair, it's not as if he gave anyone else a chance.


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## mentalchik (Apr 18, 2009)

john x said:


> Wasn't that the dear old queen mum? She was very old when she went!
> 
> john x



Yeah but her hubby wasn't alive was he ?


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## mentalchik (Apr 18, 2009)

Citizen66 said:


> But to be fair, it's not as if he gave anyone else a chance.



Greedy bugger !


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## Nine Bob Note (Apr 18, 2009)

john x said:


> Wasn't that the dear old queen mum? She was very old when she went!
> 
> john x



She wasn't married to her daughter at the time of her death, however.


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## john x (Apr 18, 2009)

Nine Bob Note said:


> She wasn't married to her daughter at the time of her death, however.



Civil partnership if it's women! 

john x


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## Citizen66 (Apr 18, 2009)

john x said:


> Civil partnership if it's women!
> 
> john x



But that's only been legal for ten minutes and I reckon Prince Philip organised it with the guinness book of records to work out as such.


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## john x (Apr 18, 2009)

mentalchik said:


> Yeah but her hubby wasn't alive was he ?



He was when he was George IV wasn't he? 

Does he have to be alive all the time for the Guinness Book of Records? 

john x


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## mentalchik (Apr 18, 2009)

It's length of time to a living monarch !


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## Citizen66 (Apr 18, 2009)

john x said:


> He was when he was George IV wasn't he?
> 
> Does he have to be alive all the time for the Guinness Book of Records?
> 
> john x



He isn't a consort if he is King.


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## Combustible (Apr 18, 2009)

john x said:


> He was when he was George IV wasn't he?



She wasn't that old.


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## john x (Apr 18, 2009)

Combustible said:


> She wasn't that old.



102 when she went i think! 

john x


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## JTG (Apr 18, 2009)

isitme said:


> but how do you know who is the real prince philip and which is a meer illusion?



more importantly, how does the queen?


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## Citizen66 (Apr 18, 2009)

isitme said:


> but how do you know who is the real prince philip and which is a meer illusion?



The 7 look-a-likes can't shape shift into a lizard.


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## paulhackett (Apr 18, 2009)

JTG said:


> more importantly, how does the queen?



girth


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## isitme (Apr 18, 2009)

i wonder if that woman who gets paid to go round looking like the queen would fancy someone who goes round getting paid to look like prince philip


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## Combustible (Apr 18, 2009)

john x said:


> 102 when she went i think!
> 
> john x



Sure but George IV died in 1830.


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## john x (Apr 18, 2009)

Combustible said:


> Sure but George IV died in 1830.



Oops! 

I'm getting the queen mum's husband mixed up with a pub on Brixton Hill! 

Does that make me a bad person?

john x


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## ericjarvis (Apr 18, 2009)

Actually he died in 1973. Since then it's been his stunt double filling the role. They didn't want to have too many royal funerals in quick succession what with the death of the fifth Queen Mother the year before.


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## Sadken (Apr 18, 2009)

I saw Prince Phillip pull a woman out of her wheelchair once.


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## liquidlunch (Apr 18, 2009)

stupid lapdog cunt with the brains of a rocking horse and the manner or a snake in the grass.Fuck the royals,chinless wonders


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## toblerone3 (Apr 18, 2009)

Nine Bob Note said:


> She wasn't married to her daughter at the time of her death, however.



.


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## Maurice Picarda (Apr 18, 2009)

Sadken said:


> I saw Prince Phillip pull a woman out of her wheelchair once.


 
He also cut Diana's brake cables, poisoned his mother-in-law's gin, and was the HPV carrier who did for Jade.


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## OneStrike (Apr 18, 2009)

Maurice Picarda said:


> He also cut Diana's brake cables, poisoned his mother-in-law's gin, and was the HPV carrier who did for Jade.




Before anyone gets all frightened about possible litigation e.t.c., i can confirm all that was said is true.


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## Citizen66 (Apr 18, 2009)

john x said:


> I'm getting the queen mum's husband mixed up with a pub on Brixton Hill!



Fuck off, alkie...  

The Ponce of Wales pub off Columbia road is now a house.


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## Andrew Hertford (Apr 18, 2009)

I had to meet HRH Phil once and he really is a complete prat. He made some rambling speech, of which all I can remember was something about "Kosovan refugees dropping chewing gum outside Buckingham Palace". He lives on another planet.

Still, "Gawd bless 'im" is what I say.


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## derf (Apr 19, 2009)

I don't know what you lot are moaning about. he's a right laugh.
You would miss him if he snuffed it before the grandsons are old enough to really fuck up and cause a diplomatic mess.

I dug out this thread to mention he's just had a 5 minute slot on channel news asia. (Singapore)


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## Fingers (Jul 16, 2015)

Thought we needed a thread to monitor the actions of gnarly old goat, Prince Phillip.

He has excelled himself today by asking a women's group 'who they sponge off'

Daily Mail link so not safe for civilised people (NSFCP)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...st-End-community-centre-group-sponge-off.html

Come the revolution, we should ensure he is kept in a glass jar at a feminist society.


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## Fez909 (Jul 17, 2015)

I thought this was gonna be a death watch thread


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## Fingers (Jul 17, 2015)

To be honest, he probably asked the question to them before they got chance to ask him the same question. They need to up their game.


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## brogdale (Jul 17, 2015)

Will he make it to end of page 1?


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## MochaSoul (Jul 17, 2015)

I think he plays the media.

ETA: I see the Fail calls it a "gaffe". I don't believe for a minute he's *that* lacking in self-awareness even if he has been in the past. I reckon he laughs his head off at the faux outrage he engenders


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## Fez909 (Jul 17, 2015)

The Express have a feature on Phillip: "The King of the One-liners" 

So I did a little research and found out that he's also done a few acting roles in his time...I never knew!

Here he is in Star Wars: New Hope







And he also had a starring role in the brilliant, short-lived theological horror series _The Pope_






Truly magnificent performance. They say the Royal Family is an outdated relic, but if they keep those entertainment levels up then I say they're worth every penny. Good call,_ Express_


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## twentythreedom (Jul 17, 2015)

He hates everyone and doesn't give a shit - grudging respect for that in a way I suppose


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## MochaSoul (Jul 17, 2015)

> Nusrat Zamir, a trustee of the community centre (pictured presenting a cake to the Queen) claimed Prince Philip asked her 'who do you sponge off?'. She said she responded with: *'We're all married so our husbands'*



I have more of a problem with the response to the quip than with the quip itself. I'd have replied "Not our wives." or "Not the tax payer."


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## J Ed (Jul 17, 2015)

It's alright to be a racist classist bigot as long as you make it a shit joke and you're a hereditary leader.

Fuck off.


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## J Ed (Jul 17, 2015)

MochaSoul said:


> I have more of a problem with the response to the quip than with the quip itself. I'd have replied "Not our wives." or "Not the tax payer."



I'd have gone with "fuck off forked tongued lizard cunt"


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## MochaSoul (Jul 17, 2015)

J Ed said:


> It's alright to be a racist classist bigot as long as you make it a shit joke and you're a hereditary leader.
> 
> Fuck off.



Of course, not. But then he simply exercises the privilege society bestows upon him. If I was afforded the same privilege, I have a great brat lurking inside me that would poke fun at everyone and everything and probably in much cruder ways. But then I ignore her which is what the media doesn't do to Phil because the love/hate society has for royalty sells a lot of papers.

ETA:... and he knows this.


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## brogdale (Jul 17, 2015)




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## Fez909 (Jul 17, 2015)

Was looking at this list of his "65 best gaffes": http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-philip-quotes-relive-65-1445185

Mostly it was the usual mix of racism, classism and sexism, but there was one pretty funny one in there:


> A VIP at a local airport asked HRH: “What was your flight, like, Your Royal Highness? Philip: “Have you ever flown in a plane?” VIP: “Oh yes, sir, many times.” “Well,” said Philip, “it was just like that.”


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## Nine Bob Note (Jul 17, 2015)

brogdale said:


> Will he make it to end of page 1?



Are royalists all set to ten posts per page?


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## farmerbarleymow (Jul 17, 2015)

According to the site below, he's got a 1 in 6 chance of dying each year, although the odds for him are probably narrower given he's in his 90s.

http://www.medicine.ox.ac.uk/bandolier/booth/Risk/dyingage.html


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## brogdale (Jul 17, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> According to the site below, he's got a 1 in 6 chance of dying each year, although the odds for him are probably narrower given he's in his 90s.
> 
> http://www.medicine.ox.ac.uk/bandolier/booth/Risk/dyingage.html


He's an awfully long way up the 'j' curve.


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## Citizen66 (Jul 17, 2015)

He got a bit sweary last week.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

Fez909 said:


> The Express have a feature on Phillip: "The King of the One-liners"
> 
> So I did a little research and found out that he's also done a few acting roles in his time...I never knew!
> 
> ...







and 'venerable giorgi' in 'the name of the rose'


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## JHE (Jul 17, 2015)

Fingers said:


> He has excelled himself today by asking a women's group 'who they sponge off'



They had just given the Queen a sponge cake.  They were talking about sponge cakes.  It was a joke, a little pun.  That's all.  No one was hurt in the making of this pun.

Newspapers have a variety of templates for their stories.  One favourite is of course 'Prince Philip's latest gaffe'.

Never mind that there was no gaffe.  The paper gets its template-based story and anyone who wants to express a bit of healthy hostility to sponging royals has another cue to do so.  Everyone's happy.

A more truthful report would just be 'Old git with sense of humour makes cake pun'


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

JHE said:


> They had just given the Queen a sponge cake.  The were talking about sponge cakes.  It was a joke, a little pun.  That's all.  No one was hurt in the making of this pun.
> 
> Newspapers have a variety of templates for their stories.  One favourite is of course 'Prince Phillip's latest gaffe'.
> 
> ...


i hope there is a cheque to you in the post from the palace.


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## pogofish (Jul 17, 2015)

Why does this keep coming to mind when I see the thread title?


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## farmerbarleymow (Jul 17, 2015)

pogofish said:


> Why does this keep coming to mind when I see the thread title?


Nice watch you've got there pogofish - I bet you've got one with each of the royals on.


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## brogdale (Jul 17, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> i hope there is a cheque to you in the post from the palace.


The whole thing is actually worse than one might suppose on first hearing. The old "_were you born in this country_?" question delivered without any irony.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...-Philip-asks-women-Who-do-you-sponge-off.html


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Nice watch you've got there pogofish - I bet you've got one with each of the royals on.


he's even got a fergie watch


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

brogdale said:


> The whole thing is actually worse than one might suppose on first hearing. The old "_were you born in this country_?" question delivered without any irony.
> 
> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...284.ece#ooid=xpeWo5djpw_MqWC3w2J2q5GAWYKqS8pT


ooh they've given it a 404


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## brogdale (Jul 17, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> ooh they've given it a 404


I'll try the page again...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...-Philip-asks-women-Who-do-you-sponge-off.html


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

brogdale said:


> I'll try the page again...
> 
> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...-Philip-asks-women-Who-do-you-sponge-off.html


when he said 





> Moments later he asked a professional fundraiser: "Do you have any friends left?"


i think that's fair comment. never been keen on professional fundraisers.

but i suppose if you leave prince philip alone long enough he'll insult someone everyone dislikes.


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## farmerbarleymow (Jul 17, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> he's even got a fergie watch


Presumably that's got a picture of her toes on it rather than her face.


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## J Ed (Jul 17, 2015)

JHE said:


> They had just given the Queen a sponge cake.  They were talking about sponge cakes.  It was a joke, a little pun.  That's all.  No one was hurt in the making of this pun.
> 
> Newspapers have a variety of templates for their stories.  One favourite is of course 'Prince Philip's latest gaffe'.
> 
> ...



I have heard this argument being made elsewhere on the internet, the idea that it is just a joke and a bit of banter sort of like Clarkson or whatever and people are just being over-sensitive. I don't buy it. He knew what he was saying, and the social implication is obvious, most of these women are not white and they are in a community centre and his joke rests on anti-scrounger and racist rhetoric. He would not have said it to men, and there is no way that he would have said it to white middle-class women.

I find it very crude that anyone at all is arguing anything else, and it shows how beholden we all still are to privilege and power that this is not obvious to so many.

Also he is a lizard


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## Steel Icarus (Jul 17, 2015)

J Ed said:


> I have heard this argument being made elsewhere on the internet, the idea that it is just a joke and a bit of banter sort of like Clarkson or whatever and people are just being over-sensitive. I don't buy it. He knew what he was saying, and the social implication is obvious, most of these women are not white and they are in a community centre and his joke rests on anti-scrounger and racist rhetoric. He would not have said it to men, and there is no way that he would have said it to white middle-class women.
> 
> I find it very crude that anyone at all is arguing anything else, and it shows how beholden we all still are to privilege and power that this is not obvious to so many.



*Nods sagely*



J Ed said:


> Also he is a lizard


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

S☼I said:


> *Nods sagely*


just in thyme


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## machine cat (Jul 17, 2015)

Fez909 said:


> The Express have a feature on Phillip: "The King of the One-liners"
> 
> So I did a little research and found out that he's also done a few acting roles in his time...I never knew!
> 
> ...



But Palpatine first appeared in The Empire Strikes Back and that still is clearly Return of the Jedi


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## Fez909 (Jul 17, 2015)

machine cat said:


> But Palpatine first appeared in The Empire Strikes Back and that still is clearly Return of the Jedi


Star Wars fans


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## pogofish (Jul 17, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> he's even got a fergie watch



Pah..!






A full house of Corgis beats her any time!


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## JHE (Jul 17, 2015)

J Ed said:


> I have heard this argument being made elsewhere on the internet, the idea that it is just a joke and a bit of banter sort of like Clarkson or whatever and people are just being over-sensitive. I don't buy it. He knew what he was saying, and the social implication is obvious, most of these women are not white and they are in a community centre and his joke rests on anti-scrounger and racist rhetoric. He would not have said it to men, and there is no way that he would have said it to white middle-class women.



Black, white, brown, purple or luminous green, male, female, young, old... from the Duke's perspective, we're all plebs.  Of course he'd make the same joke to any group of people who were chatting with him about their sponge cake.

The people who gave Mrs Windsor a sponge cake weren't offended either.  Perhaps you can send them an email explaining how wrong they were to take it as a harmless joke.


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## J Ed (Jul 17, 2015)

JHE said:


> Black, white, brown, purple or luminous green, male, female, young, old... from the Duke's perspective, we're all plebs.  Of course he'd make the same joke to any group of people who were chatting with him about their sponge cake.



Bullshit, it's word play which is dependent on those on the receiving end of the joke being depicted as potential scroungers.[/QUOTE]


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

are we going to get a state funeral for prince philip when he pops his clogs?


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## Pickman's model (Jul 17, 2015)

JHE said:


> Black, white, brown, purple or luminous green, male, female, young, old... from the Duke's perspective, we're all plebs.  Of course he'd make the same joke to any group of people who were chatting with him about their sponge cake.
> 
> The people who gave Mrs Windsor a sponge cake weren't offended either.  Perhaps you can send them an email explaining how wrong they were to take it as a harmless joke.


i think it's no secret that someone who was born a prince is likely to regard pretty much everyone else as below them socially. but if you're happy with pointing out the bleeding obvious, carry on.


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## Buckaroo (Jul 17, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> are we going to get a state funeral for prince philip when he pops his clogs?



Great British bake off special for his cremation.


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## stavros (Jul 18, 2015)

Fez909 said:


> The Express have a feature on Phillip: "The King of the One-liners"



The most famous one to Express readers being "OK, arrange something in a tunnel whilst she's on holiday".


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## tim (Jul 18, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> i hope there is a cheque to you in the post from the palace.



JHE would be content with an invitation to bake a sponge for the Summer Garden party.


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## BigMoaner (Jul 18, 2015)

i know he's a racist old bigot, but is it wrong to want to go for a pizza with him, or a few pints?


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## maomao (Jul 18, 2015)

BigMoaner said:


> i know he's a racist old bigot, but is it wrong to want to go for a pizza with him, or a few pints?


Not if it's a last meal on the way to the guillotine.


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## Idris2002 (Jul 19, 2015)

machine cat said:


> But Palpatine first appeared in The Empire Strikes Back and that still is clearly Return of the Jedi


Palpatine was the one played by William Shatner, right?


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## treelover (Jul 19, 2015)

No way a fan but during the war, he and his command saved a R/N ship from certain destruction.


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## brogdale (Jul 19, 2015)

treelover said:


> No way a fan but during the war, he and his command saved a R/N ship from certain destruction.


The Shatner?


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## Buckaroo (Jul 19, 2015)

treelover said:


> No way a fan but during the war, he and his command saved a R/N ship from certain destruction.



During the war


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## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2018)

and so it begins...


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## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2018)

Fez909 said:


> I thought this was gonna be a death watch thread


prince philip death watch


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## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2018)

Badgers  jesus you're quick


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## Thimble Queen (Mar 23, 2018)

Yes please ❤


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## Fez909 (Mar 23, 2018)

Fuck's sake. I think this is the first year I've taken him out of my celeb deadpool for ages. Even more reason to hate the cunt


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## SpookyFrank (Mar 23, 2018)

If I hang out with enough celebrity nonces do I get to be a colonel too?


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## strung out (Mar 23, 2018)

No telegram from Brenda for him


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## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2018)

Fez909 said:


> Fuck's sake. I think this is the first year I've taken him out of my celeb deadpool for ages. Even more reason to hate the cunt


you're praying he hangs on till next year now


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## Wilf (Mar 23, 2018)

strung out said:


> No telegram from Brenda for him


Bet even she hates the cunt.


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## Wilf (Mar 23, 2018)

SpookyFrank said:


> If I hang out with enough celebrity nonces do I get to be a colonel too?


Adds new meaning to the term Royal Groom.


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## Wilf (Mar 23, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> you're praying he hangs on till next year now


Though not too far into 2019: "Bong, as we welcome in another year, bong... oh, the old racist twat is dead"


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## StoneRoad (Mar 23, 2018)

Life of privilege ... no matter, all have to meet the grim reaper in the end.


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## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2018)

StoneRoad said:


> Life of privilege ... no matter, all have to meet the grim reaper in the end.


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## Yossarian (Mar 23, 2018)

Is this going to be one of those occasions where Her Majesty's loyal subjects get a day off? And if a whole bunch of royals get killed at the same time, will the days off be consecutive or concurrent?


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## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2018)

Yossarian said:


> Is this going to be one of those occasions where Her Majesty's loyal subjects get a day off? And if a whole bunch of royals get killed at the same time, will the days off be consecutive or concurrent?


until we all sober up and stop laughing


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## catinthehat (Mar 23, 2018)

Huum.  I thought this thread was about a new Franklin Mint product.  Nearly.


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## Ax^ (Mar 23, 2018)

Do we get a bank holiday if he kick off thehe bucket


Gonna have a early-ish start on Monday and don't fancy it

Hmm


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## Wilf (Mar 23, 2018)

I for one, as a loyal subject, will be too upset to turn into work for fortnight.


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## not-bono-ever (Mar 23, 2018)

if he goes, can we blame the Russians ?


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## MickiQ (Mar 23, 2018)

Yossarian said:


> Is this going to be one of those occasions where Her Majesty's loyal subjects get a day off? And if a whole bunch of royals get killed at the same time, will the days off be consecutive or concurrent?


I don't think we are likely to get a day off, only the reigning monarch rates a state funeral, the rest get ceremonial ones, Liz's mum and gran both only got ceremonial ones as did the People's Princess public hysteria and tributes from Elton John not withstanding.
I will  probably miss Phil the Greek when he shuffles off, I can see how his lack of tact might get some people's goat but I've found it amusing at times.


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## DotCommunist (Mar 23, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> if he goes, can we blame the Russians ?


 they haven't killed any royalty since 1918.


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## Wilf (Mar 23, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> I will  probably miss Phil the Greek when he shuffles off, I can see how his lack of tact might get some people's goat but I've found it amusing at times.


 ... though Britain will officially become 84% less racist when he heads off for the fiery pit.


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## andysays (Mar 23, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> they haven't killed any royalty since 1918.



The 100th anniversary would be the perfect opportunity to do it then


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## Celyn (Mar 23, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> they haven't killed any royalty since 1918.


But Phil is related to the Romanovs, so it would be untidy not to have killed the full set.


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## ElizabethofYork (Mar 23, 2018)

Celyn said:


> But Phil is related to the Romanovs, so it would be untidy not to have killed the full set.



They're all related to each other, the incestuous freaks.


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## Wilf (Mar 23, 2018)

andysays said:


> The 100th anniversary would be the perfect opportunity to do it then


*wanders off to find a suitable cellar*


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## stavros (Mar 23, 2018)

Old man in feels unwell shocker.


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## tim (Mar 23, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> if he goes, can we blame the Russians ?


I'll blame them if he doesn't go


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## Artaxerxes (Mar 23, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> they haven't killed any royalty since 1918.



Lazy bastards, even the Ra had a go.


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## Pickman's model (Mar 23, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> they haven't killed any royalty since 1918.


Now's the time for them to regain publick favour by knocking off Edward or Andrew #dotherightthingputin


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 23, 2018)

Fez909 said:


> Fuck's sake. I think this is the first year I've taken him out of my celeb deadpool for ages. Even more reason to hate the cunt



Brenda n Phil are a double act, so only count as one nomination.


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## bemused (Mar 23, 2018)

I like Phil, he'll be the last of the not boring Royals.


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## Thimble Queen (Mar 23, 2018)

Hurry up, Phil.


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## Fez909 (Mar 23, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Brenda n Phil are a double act, so only count as one nomination.


As long as they both die at the same time, I'll allow it


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 23, 2018)

Fez909 said:


> As long as they both die at the same time, I'll allow it



Don't be so bloody picky - they are a unique couple, so always count as a single unit regardless of date/time of death.


----------



## Fez909 (Mar 23, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Don't be so bloody picky - they are a unique couple, so always count as a single unit regardless of date/time of death.


Not picky; hopeful


----------



## MickiQ (Mar 23, 2018)

Liz has already been on the throne 3 years longer than Vicky, she obviously comes from the same sturdy stock as great-great-grandma but when she does finally go I wonder how many Commonwealth countries might decide that
having the monarch of a country thousands of miles away as Head of State is no longer relevant. Chucky may be King of the England but I would venture he will be King of a lot less than his mum.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Mar 23, 2018)

I've had this sticker for around 20 years... I remember there were "hurry up and die" ones as well.


----------



## Vintage Paw (Mar 23, 2018)

Wilf said:


> Bet even she hates the cunt.



Did I see a thing once that said she didn't want to marry him, she fancied someone else, but he pursued her and it was the done thing or something?


----------



## HoratioCuthbert (Mar 23, 2018)

Vintage Paw said:


> Did I see a thing once that said she didn't want to marry him, she fancied someone else, but he pursued her and it was the done thing or something?


Man the upper class are rubbish at dating, that’s why all us working class mothers are single, thorough rejection and proud of it


----------



## Combustible (Mar 24, 2018)

Vintage Paw said:


> Did I see a thing once that said she didn't want to marry him, she fancied someone else, but he pursued her and it was the done thing or something?



Other way round I thought, he was forced by his uncle  to pursue her  starting when she was 13.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Mar 24, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Liz has already been on the throne 3 years longer than Vicky, she obviously comes from the same sturdy stock as great-great-grandma but when she does finally go I wonder how many Commonwealth countries might decide that
> having the monarch of a country thousands of miles away as Head of State is no longer relevant. Chucky may be King of the England but I would venture he will be King of a lot less than his mum.


Don't you believe it. The inhabitants of Australia and New Zealand seem to be far more mad for them than we are back home and they adore the new ones.


----------



## MickiQ (Mar 24, 2018)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Don't you believe it. The inhabitants of Australia and New Zealand seem to be far more mad for them than we are back home and they adore the new ones.


By the new ones I take it you mean Billy and Kate?, They're a photogenic couple (especially her) and there is a bit of a fairy story element to it, ordinary girl marries prince, same goes for Harry and his undeniably attractive American girlfriend. I'm not sure how long this phenomenon will last here or anywhere else since it strikes me as a bit showbiz. It will probably be sometime in the 2030's that Billy gets to the  throne and the 2060's or even 2070's before George gets his turn. 
I'm personally  neither strongly pro nor anti-monarchy but Liz has been on the throne so long that she has become synonymous with it. Once she goes I can well imagine it will begin a debate both here and in the rest of the Commonwealth as to whether a Monarchy is really a 21st century institution.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Mar 24, 2018)

Y


MickiQ said:


> By the new ones I take it you mean Billy and Kate?, They're a photogenic couple (especially her) and there is a bit of a fairy story element to it, ordinary girl marries prince, same goes for Harry and his undeniably attractive American girlfriend. I'm not sure how long this phenomenon will last here or anywhere else since it strikes me as a bit showbiz. It will probably be sometime in the 2030's that Billy gets to the  throne and the 2060's or even 2070's before George gets his turn.
> I'm personally  neither strongly pro nor anti-monarchy but Liz has been on the throne so long that she has become synonymous with it. Once she goes I can well imagine it will begin a debate both here and in the rest of the Commonwealth as to whether a Monarchy is really a 21st century institution.


Yes I mean Billy and Kate and Harry and Megan and all the pretty circus around them .

You could be right as it is interesting how little interest there is in Charlie. He is incredibly lackustre in comparison and rarely spoken of. There was a conversation at work and I brought up Charles. Faces went blank. Nobody seemed to have an opinon on the man.

They still seem far less bothered by what they represent than we do in the UK. I think that has a lot to do with proximity and the fact that Aussie and NZ society is a hell of a lot less class ridden than ours.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 24, 2018)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Y
> 
> Yes I mean Billy and Kate and Harry and Megan and all the pretty circus around them .
> 
> You could be right as it is interesting how little interest there is in Charlie. He is incredibly lackustre in comparison and rarely spoken of. There was a conversation at work and I brought up Charles. Faces went blank. Nobody seemed to have an opinon on the man.


He'd be better going to the guillotine just after his children and grandchildren


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 24, 2018)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Don't you believe it. The inhabitants of Australia and New Zealand seem to be far more mad for them than we are back home and they adore the new ones.


Yeh well they're more adorable from 12,000 miles away


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Mar 24, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> Yeh well they're more adorable from 12,000 miles away


Quite. Nobody shared anything like my dislike for dear old Chucky as they don't see it in the same way at all.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 24, 2018)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Quite. Nobody shared anything like my dislike for dear old Chucky as they don't see it in the same way at all.


ask them how they'd feel if they had to contribute to the auld witch's upkeep.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Mar 24, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> ask them how they'd feel if they had to contribute to the auld witch's upkeep.


That might hit them a bit harder as they are bloody tightwads and seem to hate handouts to anyone


----------



## Thimble Queen (Mar 24, 2018)

Megan is well fit. She's wasted on that ginger tosser.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Mar 24, 2018)

Thimble Queen said:


> Megan is well fit. She's wasted on that ginger tosser.


I think he's quite fit to be fair. I probably would. I do have a well known proclivity for gingers


----------



## Thimble Queen (Mar 24, 2018)

Mrs Miggins said:


> I think he's quite fit to be fair. I probably would. I do have a well known proclivity for gingers



My first girlfriend was ginger so I'm not racist against them or anything


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 24, 2018)

Mrs Miggins said:


> I think he's quite fit to be fair. I probably would. I do have a well known proclivity for gingers


As did diana


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Mar 24, 2018)

Boom tish!!


----------



## stavros (Mar 25, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Brenda n Phil are a double act, so only count as one nomination.



You'd have said the same about Ant and Dec a couple of weeks ago.


----------



## moochedit (Mar 29, 2018)

Prince Philip pulls out of Maundy service 'due to hip problem'


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 29, 2018)

Thimble Queen said:


> I've had this sticker for around 20 years... I remember there were "hurry up and die" ones as well.
> 
> View attachment 130764


still got a few in pristine condition, and the t-shirt


----------



## DotCommunist (Mar 29, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Prince Philip pulls out of Maundy service 'due to hip problem'


he's getting worried the next time he's in church it'll be as the deceased


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 29, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> he's getting worried the next time he's in church it'll be as the deceased


let's hope, eh.


----------



## Thimble Queen (Mar 29, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> he's getting worried the next time he's in church it'll be as the deceased




Ich druecke die Daumen


----------



## Wilf (Apr 2, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> he's getting worried the next time he's in church it'll be as the deceased


A nice finishing touch would be to have representatives of every group he's offended* as his pall bearers. He could start spinning in his grave even before he's buried. 

* Naturally there would have to be a ballot, even if you went with 20 pall bearers. It would be like a special edition of Touch The Truck Racist Cunt's Coffin.


----------



## A380 (Apr 3, 2018)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Y
> 
> Yes I mean Billy and Kate and Harry and Megan and all the pretty circus around them .
> 
> ...


Charlie is a republican dream. He could finish them off like his namesake ‘The First’ almost did. Betty - 20 year wobble in the middle  not withstanding- is pretty popular and the Hello Generation will go down well. ‘ The Palace’ know this which is why they’d like to skip Charlie boy, or keep reanimating his mum till he pops off. Still, thems the breaks with hereditary heads of state.


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 3, 2018)

Chucky is 70 so depending on when his mum goes or steps down, he will be on the throne for maybe 10-20 yrs, which is plenty of time for various Commonwealth countries to decide they don't want a monarchy, The important ones are Australia, Canada and New Zealand, once one of them decides then it might very well start a trend. 
In this country we're past the beheading them trend so if they get abolished here it is going to be at handover whenever the incumbent pegs it. 
Unless Liz outlives him (and she's a healthy old bird) then Chucky III is guaranteed the job, by the time we get to Billy I reckon we'll be down to maybe 80-90% chance he'll get to the throne, George is what 4 now? barring the unexpected he is going to be 60ish by the time he gets the job if he gets it.  I won't live to see it but I wouldn't be surprised if the last King of England is George VII


----------



## Wilf (Apr 3, 2018)

Could the mods set up a colour coding for this thread every time it updates -

Red = still alive; Amber = priest has been called and Green = Civil List shrinks by £359,000.

The spike in my pulse every time it appears in my Unwatched Threads means I might get to the Pearly Gates before the old racist.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


> Could the mods set up a colour coding for this thread every time it updates -
> 
> Red = still alive; Amber = priest has been called and Green = Civil List shrinks by £359,000.
> 
> The spike in my pulse every time it appears in my Unwatched Threads means I might get to the Pearly Gates before the old racist.



Yep. 
I agree


----------



## Wilf (Apr 3, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> Yep.
> I agree


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


>



Sorry... 

Oops...


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


> Could the mods set up a colour coding for this thread every time it updates -
> 
> Red = still alive; Amber = priest has been called and Green = Civil List shrinks by £359,000.
> 
> The spike in my pulse every time it appears in my Unwatched Threads means I might get to the Pearly Gates before the old racist.


Does he actually claim his Navy pension? Mrs MickIQ's old man did 22 years in the RN and  his pension was fairly generous but I'm certain it wasn't anywhere like £359K


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


> Could the mods set up a colour coding for this thread every time it updates -
> 
> Red = still alive; Amber = priest has been called and Green = Civil List shrinks by £359,000.
> 
> The spike in my pulse every time it appears in my Unwatched Threads means I might get to the Pearly Gates before the old racist.


I understand editor's going to be using the traditional system of bronze, he's still alive - silver, the undertakers are under starter's orders - gold, he's rolled a seven


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 3, 2018)

Just admitted to hospital for a hip operation ....."Breaking news on the BBC" ..........

One to watch I think.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Apr 3, 2018)

Planned surgery.

"jimmy hill"


----------



## Sprocket. (Apr 3, 2018)

Jimmy Hill, I thought Alzheimer’s killed him!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 3, 2018)

Do we get a day off if our beloved Queen’s consort should pass?


----------



## Teaboy (Apr 3, 2018)

No.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 3, 2018)

Fuck the racist old cunt then.


----------



## moochedit (Apr 3, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Do we get a day off if our beloved Queen’s consort should pass?



I for one would be so upset I would need at least 2 weeks off work to recover.


----------



## Mrs D (Apr 3, 2018)

Since when do you cancel engagements before planned surgery rather than after it?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 3, 2018)

When you can hear the beating of the wings of the Angel of Death


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 3, 2018)

96 isn't a good age to go under the knife.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf


----------



## friedaweed (Apr 3, 2018)

He'll be having a hip hop when he gets out. He'll be more down wid da kids than ever


----------



## Wilf (Apr 3, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Wilf


We'll all know where we were when he died:

"I was on Urban75, when I saw this thread update, but it was a false alarm... then I saw another update and it was a false alarm.... oh, fuck it, I'll go round the King Edward VII hospital and finish him off myself with a lump hammer"


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


> We'll all know where we were when he died:
> 
> "I was on Urban75, when I saw this thread update, but it was a false alarm... then I saw another update and it was a false alarm.... oh, fuck it, I'll go round the King Edward VII hospital and finish him off myself with a lump hammer"


I took Mrs MickiQ to Paris for Easter 2002 before she had our youngest and the Queen Mum pegged it on our first full day there,  People's Princess died the first day of our family holiday in Centre Parcs (who died in Paris)
My holidays, Paris and Royal Deaths seem strangely connected.


----------



## Wilf (Apr 3, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> I took Mrs MickiQ to Paris for Easter 2002 before she had our youngest and the Queen Mum pegged it on our first full day there,  People's Princess died the first day of our family holiday in Centre Parcs (who died in Paris)
> My holidays, Paris and Royal Deaths seem strangely connected.


... and if we were to crowdfund a wee trip to Paris in the Springtime?


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


> ... and if we were to crowdfund a wee trip to Paris in the Springtime?


Perhaps Stanley Edwards would volunteer to drive the prince around Paris


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


> We'll all know where we were when he died:
> 
> "I was on Urban75, when I saw this thread update, but it was a false alarm... then I saw another update and it was a false alarm.... oh, fuck it, I'll go round the King Edward VII hospital and finish him off myself with a lump hammer"


Wilf with the lead piping in the royal suite


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 3, 2018)

Wilf said:


> ... and if we were to crowdfund a wee trip to Paris in the Springtime?


Fund us a trip to Paris, Texas half the line of succession will probably drop dead.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 4, 2018)

"Get well Sir" says the Daily Express (no - I do not read that rag , sa it on news summary) 

Clearly concerned at losing another reader - after a hard winter which has probably seen off a few of their stalwarts ...


----------



## DotCommunist (Apr 4, 2018)

every now and then something crops up. Some pointless ritual or british state thing or social convention. And I suddenly realise I have no fuckin idea whats going on or why we do this shit- maundy and the queen giving out maund money. I know it happens, I don't know what it is or how long I have known it goes on but its just does and its too banal to ever ceck out or remember what its about after having been told. Like the black rod walking backwards to open up parliament. Why are we all just going on like this shit is normal? why am I? 

When the old bastard finally goes to the fletcher memorial home for tyrants and princes we'll get another remider of this bizarre stuff- the gilded carriages, nicolas witchell, pageantry. Uniforms with loads of tin on the chests.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 4, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> every now and then something crops up. Some pointless ritual or british state thing or social convention. And I suddenly realise I have no fuckin idea whats going on or why we do this shit- maundy and the queen giving out maund money. I know it happens, I don't know what it is or how long I have known it goes on but its just does and its too banal to ever ceck out or remember what its about after having been told. Like the black rod walking backwards to open up parliament. Why are we all just going on like this shit is normal? why am I?
> 
> When the old bastard finally goes to the fletcher memorial home for tyrants and princes we'll get another remider of this bizarre stuff- the gilded carriages, nicolas witchell, pageantry. Uniforms with loads of tin on the chests.


Maybe witchell will die first


----------



## DotCommunist (Apr 4, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> Maybe witchell will die first


a mere paupers grave for him tho, no gun salutes and solemn dresses


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 4, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> a mere paupers grave for him tho, no gun salutes and solemn dresses


Might bury him in a solemn dress.


----------



## A380 (Apr 4, 2018)

DotCommunist said:


> every now and then something crops up. Some pointless ritual or british state thing or social convention. And I suddenly realise I have no fuckin idea whats going on or why we do this shit- maundy and the queen giving out maund money. I know it happens, I don't know what it is or how long I have known it goes on but its just does and its too banal to ever ceck out or remember what its about after having been told. Like the black rod walking backwards to open up parliament. Why are we all just going on like this shit is normal? why am I?
> 
> When the old bastard finally goes to the fletcher memorial home for tyrants and princes we'll get another remider of this bizarre stuff- the gilded carriages, nicolas witchell, pageantry. Uniforms with loads of tin on the chests.



Sadly (?) most of the ceremonial shit isn’t really  that old. The Victorians made probably 80% of it up...


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Apr 4, 2018)

A380 said:


> Sadly (?) most of the ceremonial shit isn’t really  that old. The Victorians made probably 80% of it up...



Actually, it's even later than that, I think.  Old Georgy Porgy the fifth invented lots of it.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 4, 2018)

A lesson form the past ? - cut and pasted from the Guardian on the assistance of George V's passing in 1936   

Professor Bryant has not adequately explored the nuances of the death of King George V (Letters, 20 March). It is misleading to say that the royal family at the time were unaware of the nature of his death. What in fact happened was that Queen Mary and her son, soon to be Edward VIII, explicitly told the king’s physician, Lord Dawson, that they did not want King George’s life needlessly prolonged if his condition was fatal. There was no explicit command to commit a killing, but the way was left clear for Dawson to “do the right thing”, and he clearly understood this. He actually telephoned his wife an hour before killing George to get her to tell the Times to hold back its front page for the desired formal announcement. It was premeditated.


The haze of fiction around George V’s death extended to his purported last words on being told that he would soon be well enough to recuperate at Bognor Regis: “Bugger Bognor!” This jovial and somewhat endearing exchange did not take place. In fact George’s conscious last words – delivered to a nurse who was administering an injection – were “God damn you!” Perhaps George – who was never consulted about the manner of his own passing – had some suspicion about how his treatment would conclude.


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 4, 2018)

Wilf going into the Phil the Greek's room and whopping him with a lump hammer would be far more explicit than a dropping the odd hint


----------



## Wilf (Apr 4, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Wilf going into the Phil the Greek's room and whopping him with a lump hammer would be far more explicit than a dropping the odd hint


Is this like a Dare now that I've said it? I have to go through with it? Trouble is, by the time I wait to get a cheap rail ticket to that London, he'll have gone by natural causes.


----------



## DotCommunist (Apr 4, 2018)

A380 said:


> Sadly (?) most of the ceremonial shit isn’t really  that old. The Victorians made probably 80% of it up...


makes sense. The great modernisers who invented traditions wholesale and built that gothic revival shithole where their descendants sit today waiting for the 6blln pounds refurb....


----------



## MickiQ (Apr 4, 2018)

Wilf said:


> Is this like a Dare now that I've said it? I have to go through with it? Trouble is, by the time I wait to get a cheap rail ticket to that London, he'll have gone by natural causes.


Wouldn't be so sure of that, he's a tough old sod and we haven't even booked a holiday this year.


----------



## Wilf (Apr 4, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Wouldn't be so sure of that, he's a tough old sod and we haven't even booked a holiday this year.


To be honest, his heat stopped years ago.


----------



## rekil (Apr 4, 2018)

Rios Montt sneaked by under cover of Phil's playacting.

Gen Efraín Ríos Montt obituary


----------



## Humirax (Apr 4, 2018)

*Reports coming from homeless communities across London are suggesting that Prince Philip’s current hospital stay will see him receiving more than a new hip.*

Marsha Wells, who runs a hostel for the homeless in the East End claims to have witnessed some of her clients being whisked away in the night, only to be returned the following day with their memories erased and a part of them missing.

Speaking to us today she said, “It’s been awful, we’ve have had at least eight clients go missing in the last two weeks. It’s always the same when the Duke is in hospital, take old Mr Cowans over there, he disappeared last Tuesday and when he came back 24 hours later, his left foot was missing.”

Apparently, other items ‘stolen’ from the homeless have included a left arm, a set of teeth, part of a spine and a right nipple. “It’s bleeding, wrong, that’s what it is. It’s alright for the Royals to have a new this and that, but we aren’t even getting the old ones back to patch them up.”

Mrs Wells now fears that, with the Queen ageing, there will be more ‘bodysnatching’ to come.

“I don’t doubt it, we lost a load when the old Queen Mum was on her last legs, they buried more of our lot than they did of her when she popped off, I can tell you. One poor old girl was just down to a head on a stick, yet they still came back for her ears.”

The Palace has not commented on the reports, other than to say that Prince Philip is expected to make a full recovery following minor surgery.

http://newsthump.com/2018/04/04/hom...harvested-for-parts-to-rebuild-prince-philip/


----------



## not-bono-ever (Apr 12, 2018)

I don't give a shit but the had a visitor today, and for a pensioner, the visitor wasn't called Vincent, which makes a change

Royal visitor for recovering Prince Philip


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 12, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> I don't give a shit but the had a visitor today, and for a pensioner, the visitor wasn't called Vincent, which makes a change
> 
> Royal visitor for recovering Prince Philip



The only visitor I'm interested in the old fucker receiving is the grim reaper.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Apr 12, 2018)

not feeling the love for the royal fam on this thread


----------



## Ranbay (Jul 20, 2018)

Bump


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Jul 20, 2018)




----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 20, 2018)

WHY THE BUMPZ?


----------



## Wilf (Jul 20, 2018)

Will the next person to bump this thread do the courtesy of sending me a warning pm first? My old ticker can't stand the cycle of joy and disappointment.


----------



## Ranbay (Jul 20, 2018)

There is chatter....

The five things that will happen when Prince Philip dies

13:27, 20 JUL 2018


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 20, 2018)

The express also published a story about where is Philip ?earlier today


Hmmmmmmm


----------



## elbows (Jul 20, 2018)

Ranbay said:


> There is chatter....
> 
> The five things that will happen when Prince Philip dies
> 
> 13:27, 20 JUL 2018



They have a matching article for the Queen dying, also dated today.

This is what happens next when the Queen dies

I note that the Birmingham Philip article makes mention of the Mirror, and I believe the Mirror group own a lot of the local newspapers these days?

In any case here are the original Mirror articles about what happens when the Queen and Philip die, dated late June and early April this year. They are almost word for word the same. Dont ask me why others chose to copy them now.

What happens when the Queen dies - from 12 days of mourning to succession

What will happen when Prince Philip dies - and why there'll be no fancy funeral


----------



## elbows (Jul 20, 2018)

Much as I am not often to be found hoping royalty live long lives, I am somewhat glad they managed not to die when we only had 3 or 4 tv channels and no internet. The BBC will be even more unwatchable than usual.


----------



## Wilf (Jul 20, 2018)

(EDL) flags will be at half mast.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2018)

Wilf said:


> (EDL) flags will be at half mast.


As will their flies no doubt


----------



## moochedit (Jul 20, 2018)

elbows said:


> Much as I am not often to be found hoping royalty live long lives, I am somewhat glad they managed not to die when we only had 3 or 4 tv channels and no internet. The BBC will be even more unwatchable than usual.



yep the beeb will be like North Korean state televison for a week at least when it finally happens.


----------



## Wilf (Jul 20, 2018)

Finally, our rainbow nation will come together to say with one voice... 'fuck off you racist cunt'


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 20, 2018)

Ranbay said:


> There is chatter....
> 
> The five things that will happen when Prince Philip dies
> 
> 13:27, 20 JUL 2018



I'm not seeing anything about a day off there


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 20, 2018)

elbows said:


> They have a matching article for the Queen dying, also dated today.
> 
> This is what happens next when the Queen dies



Nor here, unless you work in the sodding stock exchange


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Nor hear, unless you work in the sodding stock exchange


Do what I'll do and chuck a sickie


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 20, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> Do what I'll do and chuck a sickie



I could do, but the boss is unlikely to believe me


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I could do, but the boss is unlikely to believe me


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jul 20, 2018)

Royal announcement of some sort due at 5pm _apparently _


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 20, 2018)

Hmmmmmmm

Where’s this coming from?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jul 20, 2018)

No where credible. If it's true, my money's on Harry and Meghan getting divorced


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> Hmmmmmmm
> 
> Where’s this coming from?


The Palace no doubt


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 20, 2018)

The Windsors - a great bunch of lads

Sadly , I am calling hoax on this rumour 

I am the man of who backed Ingerlamd  to win the W C after Colombia remember


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 20, 2018)

Anyway, in a  month and a bit it will be 21 years since the people’s princess was assassinated- Any royal with a sense of theatre would hang on until then


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 20, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> Anyway, in a  month and a bit it will be 21 years since the people’s princess was assassinated- Any royal with a sense of theatre would hang on until then


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 20, 2018)

*taps watch*


----------



## stavros (Jul 20, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> The express also published a story about where is Philip ?earlier today



Was it about some Parisian car crash a couple of decades ago?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 20, 2018)

phil is MIA


----------



## stavros (Jul 20, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> phil is MIA



Now you mention it, I've never seen them in the same room.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jul 20, 2018)

We need www.isprincephilipdead.co.uk set up because this is happening every week at this point.


----------



## moochedit (Jul 20, 2018)

Artaxerxes said:


> We need www.isprincephilipdead.co.uk set up because this is happening every week at this point.



Just checked on fasthosts and it said it is available and would £10.99 to buy that domain for 2 years.


----------



## 2hats (Jul 20, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Just checked on fasthosts and it said it is available and would £10.99 to buy that domain for 2 years.


Can you get a quote for two weeks?


----------



## Ax^ (Jul 21, 2018)

will he last 2 years

i know its hard to kill a bad thing but seriously


----------



## Badgers (Jul 21, 2018)

Few rumours about


----------



## ricbake (Jul 21, 2018)

If people start rumours everyday, one day, in the not too distant future, someone will be right.


----------



## moochedit (Jul 21, 2018)

So is he dead then or what?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jul 21, 2018)

moochedit said:


> So is he dead then or what?



Open the box and find out.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 21, 2018)

Artaxerxes said:


> Open the box and find out.


----------



## pesh (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 21, 2018)

Either a lot of people are asking the question or something has happened.


----------



## 2hats (Jul 21, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Either a lot of people are asking the question or something has happened.
> 
> View attachment 141796


----------



## JimW (Jul 21, 2018)

That which is dead can never die.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 21, 2018)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Royal announcement of some sort due at 5pm _apparently _



Not long to go now...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 21, 2018)

does buck house schedule a 5pm announcement press conference every day " just in case" ?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 21, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> does buck house schedule a 5pm announcement press conference every day " just in case" ?



They probably should.  Its only a matter of time.


----------



## stavros (Jul 21, 2018)

I'm dreading Brenda snuffing it, because it'll seem like the entire world enters mourning and any comment suggesting they're going a bit over the top will be greeted with total disdain.

However, how will the mass media frame Phil's passing? I'm hopeful it'll be limited to, "Served his country with distinction... Loyal throughout... Sometimes a bit of a cunt".


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 21, 2018)

stavros said:


> I'm dreading Brenda snuffing it, because it'll seem like the entire world enters mourning and any comment suggesting they're going a bit over the top will be greeted with total disdain.
> 
> However, how will the mass media frame Phil's passing? I'm hopeful it'll be limited to, "Served his country with distinction... Loyal throughout... Sometimes a bit of a cunt".


depends whether they die at the same time. if yer man pops his clogs first then there'll be some days of sickening fawning, death of a war hero etc.


----------



## stavros (Jul 21, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> depends whether they die at the same time.



Suicide pact?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 21, 2018)

stavros said:


> Suicide pact?


Hopefully. But that might lead to years of conspiraloonery


----------



## JimW (Jul 21, 2018)

Greek tragedy


----------



## bellaozzydog (Jul 21, 2018)

stavros said:


> Suicide pact?



Knowing the fucking rigmarole they would have to go through I,d not be surprised if the surviving one got the royal doctor to give them a potion to spiked em


----------



## A380 (Jul 21, 2018)

It’s a tradgedy he missed the trump visit. A lifetime of saying rude things to foreigners and then missed out on the big one. It’s as if Edmond Hillary and Tensing Norgay had been retired just before they made their final assent or Leonardo daVinci had been put in a home just before he did the Mona Lisa...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 21, 2018)

stavros said:


> However, how will the mass media frame Phil's passing? I'm hopeful it'll be limited to,* "Served his country with distinction*... Loyal throughout... Sometimes a bit of a cunt".



Greece


----------



## Celyn (Jul 21, 2018)

I'm not sure he is habitually rude to white foreigners, though.  On second thoughts, he's rude to pretty much everybody. Useless bastard.


----------



## not a trot (Jul 21, 2018)

Celyn said:


> I'm not sure he is habitually rude to white foreigners, though.  On second thoughts, he's rude to pretty much everybody. Useless bastard.



Probably calls himself a cunt when he looks in the mirror.


----------



## Celyn (Jul 21, 2018)

Does he have a reflection?  Neither he nor the queen went to see the latest parasite princeling being baptised. Not ill, apparently, just too busy, Hmm.


----------



## not a trot (Jul 21, 2018)

Celyn said:


> Does he have a reflection?  Neither he nor the queen went to see the latest parasite princeling being baptised. Not ill, apparently, just too busy, Hmm.



Setting foot out of bed is being busy in their world.


----------



## circleline (Jul 22, 2018)

Trusting in Urban-75, lol.  Am on the newsfeeds waiting for news to break.  (Just because.  My sister still hasn't got over me breaking the Amy Winehouse news; heard it here first on Urban...*peace sign*..)


----------



## lefteri (Jul 22, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Greece


Despite being from the Greek royal family he’s actually Danish


----------



## skyscraper101 (Jul 22, 2018)

Buckingham Palace Reports Prince Philip Is Not Dead Amid Online Speculation


----------



## A380 (Jul 22, 2018)

Last seen wearing one of these. 

(just one of these.)


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 22, 2018)

skyscraper101 said:


> Buckingham Palace Reports Prince Philip Is Not Dead Amid Online Speculation


Undead isn't really alive, is it


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 26, 2018)

.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Jul 26, 2018)




----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 26, 2018)

I bet Philip is lying in the welcoming cool of buck house cellars, in a coffin filled with the earth of his homeland


----------



## Wilf (Jul 26, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> I bet Philip is lying in the welcoming cool of buck house cellars, in a coffin filled with the earth of his homeland


I think its important that we respect the mourning traditions and burial practices of interdimensional lizards.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 26, 2018)

I want him to die today and be buried on friday so all them cunts have to put on not just the sunday best, but the proper uncomfortable pimpin pageantry bullshit. They can sweat like arse all day till it breaks then get soaked in their best things

kebabking, likefish, all you other servants of the war machine, get the dress uniforms out. I'll be in my bare chest


----------



## stavros (Jul 26, 2018)

I don't think it'll happen yet, as his cold blood will protect him from the heat.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 9, 2018)

Get a nash on, Phil.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Aug 9, 2018)

Is he still alive and kicking?


----------



## eatmorecheese (Aug 9, 2018)

Everything but the bucket, it seems


----------



## TopCat (Aug 13, 2018)

Fuck. I need a gloating.


----------



## Pickman's model (Aug 13, 2018)

TopCat said:


> Fuck. I need a gloating.


Get your tap dancing shoes ready, tc, there'll be a grave for you to dance on very shortly


----------



## cyril_smear (Aug 13, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> Get your tap dancing shoes ready, tc, there'll be a grave for you to dance on very shortly



I got excited for a moment their


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 4, 2018)

Auld Phil spotted earlier today.


----------



## stavros (Oct 4, 2018)

Do we know whether Phil's will be classed as a high skilled job after March?


----------



## Badgers (Dec 22, 2018)

Closer...


----------



## Badgers (Dec 22, 2018)




----------



## brogdale (Dec 22, 2018)

Badgers said:


> Closer...


doh...


----------



## Ax^ (Dec 22, 2018)

we only get the announcement in the morning


----------



## Thimble Queen (Dec 22, 2018)

Fingers crossed


----------



## UrbaneFox (Dec 22, 2018)

No, it's Paddy Ashdown. Fake news.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 22, 2018)

Badgers said:


>



Do you know something?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 22, 2018)

If William of Walworth denies it then we know it is true.  

brogdale Badgers   what do you know?


----------



## Badgers (Dec 22, 2018)

Ax^ said:


> we only get the announcement in the morning


My sources at the Palace


----------



## hipipol (Dec 22, 2018)

He's been looking pretty corpse that still walks for years, he is non-dead but yet, in the generally accepted meaning of the word neither is he "living"


----------



## 5t3IIa (Dec 22, 2018)

What will PP dying do for Xmas telly?


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2018)

5t3IIa said:


> What will PP dying do for Xmas telly?


It'll scupper bbc and itv


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2018)

hipipol said:


> He's been looking pretty corpse that still walks for years, he is non-dead but yet, in the generally accepted meaning of the word neither is he "living"


As Stephen King said, sometimes dead is better


----------



## tim (Dec 22, 2018)

5t3IIa said:


> What will PP dying do for Xmas telly?




((Buyers of Radio Times bumper Christmas edition))


----------



## clicker (Dec 22, 2018)

5t3IIa said:


> What will PP dying do for Xmas telly?


Hopefully they'll cancel the queens speech, unless she's prepared one ' in the event of '.


----------



## Smangus (Dec 22, 2018)

Zombie prince innit


----------



## tim (Dec 22, 2018)

clicker said:


> Hopefully they'll cancel the queens speech, unless she's prepared one ' in the event of '.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 22, 2018)

That is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even prince philip may die


----------



## clicker (Dec 22, 2018)




----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 23, 2018)

Badgers said:


>



Temp bans for bumps like this!


----------



## moochedit (Dec 23, 2018)

What time is the announcement?


----------



## Epona (Dec 23, 2018)

Smangus said:


> Zombie prince innit



Zombie thread...


----------



## andysays (Dec 23, 2018)

So, is he still the longest serving consort to the monarch, or has someone else got his title?


----------



## mauvais (Dec 23, 2018)

andysays said:


> So, is he still the longest serving consort to the monarch, or has someone else got his title?


How would that work?


----------



## Steel Icarus (Dec 23, 2018)

mauvais said:


> How would that work?


By a King Charles spaniel's doggy wife of 10.28 years?


----------



## Smangus (Dec 23, 2018)

Need more brains...


----------



## stavros (Dec 23, 2018)

5t3IIa said:


> What will PP dying do for Xmas telly?



The news will bump Mrs Brown off the schedules, thereby increasing the comedy quotient of BBC broadcasts.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 24, 2018)

What time is the church service tommorow that he is supposed to show up at?


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Dec 24, 2018)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Temp bans for bumps like this!


Ban til he actually _does_ die


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 24, 2018)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Ban til he actually _does_ die



Second that! And that goes for you too brogdale - I saw your Liz bump!


----------



## Poi E (Dec 25, 2018)

Can we ban these sorts of threads? They keep getting my hopes up.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 25, 2018)

I concur!


----------



## ItWillNeverWork (Dec 25, 2018)

Poi E said:


> Can we ban these sorts of threads? They keep getting my hopes up.





Mr.Bishie said:


> I concur!



It's Christmas day, you miserable old farts.


----------



## Poi E (Dec 25, 2018)

Fuck off and a merry Christmas to you, too.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Dec 25, 2018)

andysays said:


> So, is he still the longest serving consort to the monarch, or has someone else got his title?



If at any point he was, then surely he must still be. Time passes at the same rate for everyone, discounting relativistic effects which seldom apply to the famously sluggish aristocracy. So if anyone wanted to overtake him, they'd have to wait until he was dead.


----------



## Badgers (Dec 25, 2018)

Royal Family attend Christmas service

The Duke of Edinburgh also stayed at home - but is said to be in good health


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Dec 25, 2018)




----------



## Steel Icarus (Dec 25, 2018)

> Tariro, aged 7, got up at 3:00 GMT to get a good view of the royals arriving


The FUCK are we teaching kids?


----------



## moochedit (Dec 25, 2018)

Badgers said:


> *The Duke of Edinburgh also stayed at home -* but is said to be in good health


----------



## Poi E (Dec 25, 2018)

Queen's speech and the old cunt dog whistled Islam by referring to some faiths falling into "tribalism". Then some bollocks about the commonwealth and Queenie meeting the natives.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 25, 2018)

Badgers said:


> Royal Family attend Christmas service
> 
> The Duke of Edinburgh also stayed at home - but is said to be in good health



Supping a good cognac from the Windsor cellars, no doubt.

The cunt!


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 25, 2018)

S☼I said:


> The FUCK are we teaching kids?



Servility and forelock tugging, by the looks of it.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

False alarm.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

No.


----------



## Badgers (Jan 17, 2019)

Is he okay?


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

Badgers said:


> Is he okay?


No, he’s a cunt.


----------



## MrSki (Jan 17, 2019)

He has been in a car crash.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jan 17, 2019)

Rolled his Range Rover and walked away unhurt


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

Uninjured, though.


----------



## MrSki (Jan 17, 2019)

Car crash.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

MrSki said:


> Car crash.


Isn’t it.


----------



## andysays (Jan 17, 2019)

After all the conspiracy bollocks about him being behind the Diana car crash, it would be amusing if he died in one too


----------



## MrSki (Jan 17, 2019)

Surely he is too old to drive.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

MrSki said:


> Car crash.



Diana style?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> False alarm.



Link?


----------



## MrSki (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Diana style?


Not the same outcome unfortunately.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

MrSki said:


> Surely he is too old to drive.



Its pretty easy to get a doctor to sign the paperwork to keep driving. Even more so if you are a royal!


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

MrSki said:


> Surely he is too old to drive.


No, he should be made to drive round Balmoral and Sandringham and Windsor


----------



## tim (Jan 17, 2019)

MrSki said:


> Not the same outcome unfortunately.



I don't think I could face two decades of absurd conspiracies about the untimely and mysterious death of the "People's Prince".


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> Uninjured, though.


----------



## tim (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Diana style?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

tim said:


> I don't think I could face two decades of absurd conspiracies about the untimely and mysterious death of the "People's Prince".


It will be more than that


----------



## Argonia (Jan 17, 2019)

Car accident but unhurt


----------



## Teaboy (Jan 17, 2019)

I mentioned this elsewhere but its clear that Royal protocol dictates he's not allowed to die before the Queen.  Poor sod.


----------



## andysays (Jan 17, 2019)

Details emerging - I'm amazed he's still allowed to drive at his age, TBH

Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jan 17, 2019)

Got excited for a moment.


----------



## Ponyutd (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Its pretty easy to get a doctor to sign the paperwork to keep driving. Even more so if you are a royal!


How does this work then? What paperwork does the Doctor sign?


----------



## tim (Jan 17, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> No, he should be made to drive round Balmoral and Sandringham and Windsor



Look at him!







He's not going to suffer much damage in the inevitable carnage. (not orange)

He'd just fill the mortuaries of Berkshire, Scotland,and East Anglia with collateral damage.


----------



## Teaboy (Jan 17, 2019)

andysays said:


> Details emerging - I'm amazed he's still allowed to drive at his age, TBH
> 
> Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace



I was also surprised he was driving.  I just assumed it was one of the many things they get other people to do.  97 does seem a bit old to be driving but who is going to tell him otherwise?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 17, 2019)

Grrrr


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

tim said:


> Look at him!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Make him dig their graves then. Or at least his own


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

andysays said:


> Details emerging - I'm amazed he's still allowed to drive at his age, TBH
> 
> Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace


He should be forced to drive round Sandringham


----------



## friedaweed (Jan 17, 2019)

Maybe he was trying to off himself, racked with guilt over Diana


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Link?


Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

friedaweed said:


> Maybe he was trying to off himself


:shudders:

Pass the mind bleach.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

Ponyutd said:


> How does this work then? What paperwork does the Doctor sign?



I thought you had to get a doctors note every 3 years but having googled it i don't think you always have to do that. You do have to renew your licence every 3 years after 70 and declare certain medical conditions and there is no upper age limit.

Driving over 70: a guide to driving for the elderly | RAC Drive


----------



## andysays (Jan 17, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I was also surprised he was driving.  I just assumed it was one of the many things they get other people to do.  97 does seem a bit old to be driving but who is going to tell him otherwise?


Maybe his missus can have a word...


> Prince Philip, 97, *was not injured in the accident*, which happened close to the Queen's Sandringham estate in Norfolk on Thursday. Buckingham Palace said the crash involved another vehicle and police attended the scene. *The duke was driving a Range Rover and was pulling out of a driveway* onto the A149 when the accident happened. According to eyewitnesses, the car that the duke was driving overturned.





> The eyewitnesses said they helped the duke out of the vehicle. He was conscious but very shocked and shaken, royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell said. Nicholas Witchell added that *two people in the other vehicle were treated for minor injuries*, according to reports from Norfolk Police,


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> :shudders:
> 
> Pass the mind bleach.


It's by appointment to the queen don't you know


----------



## Argonia (Jan 17, 2019)

He's in my celebrity death pool this year


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

Argonia said:


> He's in my celebrity death pool this year


He's been in your cdp for the last decade


----------



## Teaboy (Jan 17, 2019)

It does sound like it was his fault.  If the other party has a dash cam it could be a lucrative day for them.


----------



## Argonia (Jan 17, 2019)

That's true


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> It does sound like it was his fault.  If the other party has a dash cam it could be a lucrative day for them.


If it wasn't his fault then this other lot should try again


----------



## andysays (Jan 17, 2019)

One thing I will say about Phil, he's pretty sporting to do this now and distract everyone from the Brexit fuck up, especially at his age...


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

andysays said:


> One thing I will say about Phil, he's pretty sporting to do this now and distract everyone from the Brexit fuck up, especially at his age...


Ah but he's got a Greek passport so he's a plan b


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 17, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I was also surprised he was driving.  I just assumed it was one of the many things they get other people to do.



Fortunately not, as I find photos of the queen driving to be hilarious for some reason


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace Prince Philip unhurt after car crash - palace


Cheers.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Cheers.


No cheers here 

We've a crypto-royalist in our ranks


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Cheers.


Are you suggesting he was over the limit?

Probably.


----------



## teqniq (Jan 17, 2019)




----------



## tim (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Its pretty easy to get a doctor to sign the paperwork to keep driving. Even more so if you are a royal!



Or are driving on your wife's private estate


----------



## agricola (Jan 17, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> No cheers here
> 
> We've a crypto-royalist in our ranks



Typical urban, moochedit condemned when the rest of the thread seems to advocate a crypt o' royalists.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> No cheers here



I meant cheers for the link.


----------



## friedaweed (Jan 17, 2019)

Argonia said:


> He's in my celebrity death pool this year


I bet it was you in the white fiat uno that pulled out on him wasn't it?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

Are there 3 threads now?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

Argonia said:


> He's in my celebrity death pool this year



And mine.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 17, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> It does sound like it was his fault.  If the other party has a dash cam it could be a lucrative day for them.



I suspect another crash would be swiftly arranged


----------



## tim (Jan 17, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Fortunately not, as I find photos of the queen driving to be hilarious for some reason




She's just heard the news


----------



## tim (Jan 17, 2019)

tim said:


> She's just heard the news


And is on the way to do the job herself.You can't rely on the staff to do a proper job anymore


----------



## UrbaneFox (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> I thought you had to get a doctors note every 3 years but having googled it i don't think you always have to do that. You do have to renew your licence every 3 years after 70 and declare certain medical conditions and there is no upper age limit.
> 
> Driving over 70: a guide to driving for the elderly | RAC Drive


Probably not if you own all the roads on your estate.


----------



## friendofdorothy (Jan 17, 2019)

We could do with a good royal funeral. Take everyone's mind off the impending brexit doom.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 17, 2019)




----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 17, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Are there 3 threads now?


There's one L of a difference.


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 17, 2019)

Those zombie lizards are rather resilient.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 17, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Those zombie lizards are rather resilient.


anyone seen him alive?


----------



## hipipol (Jan 17, 2019)

What can hurt him?
He is beyond normal mortal bounds
Sadly, we no longer have the skills to keep this creature fixed inside the burial box, no coffin strong enough, no human still alive able to drive rivets properly fastened........
Where is she?
What Marvel over yonder movies screen breaks.......




Gwan Rosie,nail that fucker down te ratted.....


----------



## brogdale (Jan 17, 2019)




----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 17, 2019)

I heard the news to day, oh boy...


----------



## DexterTCN (Jan 17, 2019)

pfft...he's in his 90s...it could take months before it kills him


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 17, 2019)

hipipol said:


> What can hurt him?
> He is beyond normal mortal bounds
> Sadly, we no longer have the skills to keep this creature fixed inside the burial box, no coffin strong enough, no human still alive able to drive rivets properly fastened........
> Where is she?
> ...


A quick fisting will shuffle him off this mortal coil


----------



## fishfinger (Jan 17, 2019)

teqniq said:


> View attachment 159015


What is dead may never die.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 17, 2019)

"The Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, tweeted a prayer in support to the duke, and later another one for the two other people involved in the accident."

Bleugh


----------



## tim (Jan 17, 2019)

friendofdorothy said:


> We could do with a good royal funeral. Take everyone's mind off the impending brexit doom.



Turning up to his lying in state with a concealed stake and mallet.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 17, 2019)

How is he doing - hanging on ?


----------



## passenger (Jan 17, 2019)

Never drive after drinking your finest malt whisky, on a full stomach


----------



## krtek a houby (Jan 18, 2019)

Good innings, mind


----------



## pesh (Jan 18, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> "The Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, tweeted a prayer in support to the duke, and later another one for the two other people involved in the accident."
> 
> Bleugh


is that how prayers work now?


----------



## Celyn (Jan 18, 2019)

Do Land Rovers often overturn, or was the half-dead prince driving dangerously?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 18, 2019)

krtek a houby said:


> Good innings, mind



Uncanny likeness.


----------



## andysays (Jan 18, 2019)

Apparently (BBC) there are already moves to reduce the speed limit on the stretch of road where the accident happen, presumably to lessen the danger of collisions the next time the doddery old git pulls out without looking...


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

He has Alzheimer’s- this is why he is kept up in sandringham and out of the way. This is an estate car- he shouldn’t be driving outside the land on it.obviously this is hardly going to be made public but he will have the keys hidden from him in The future


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

If I was the other side I would straight into the compo boys for this


----------



## bellaozzydog (Jan 18, 2019)

It was an escape attempt not Phil popping to the newsagents for 20 lamberts


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

tim said:


> She's just heard the news


Jesus she's got a face on her


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

Why oh why oh why don’t royals drive around in open top cars any more ?


----------



## Voley (Jan 18, 2019)

This fella seems to think Phil's already in the queue to have a chat at the pearly gates:


----------



## Yossarian (Jan 18, 2019)

Voley said:


> This fella seems to think Phil's already in the queue to have a chat at the pearly gates:




"Bring him to thine everlasting kingdom" sounds it could be bishop-speak for "end his life."


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 18, 2019)

jesus - what a triumph of grovelling sycophancy.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

john sentamu's place on the voyage to the south atlantic canal network has been booked


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 159066
> 
> john sentamu's place on the voyage to the south atlantic canal network has been booked


 
Preacher class. He can provide reassurance to the sick. Scurvy is a terrible affliction


----------



## peterkro (Jan 18, 2019)

Looks like someone at the Beeb has realised "accident" is not at all appropriate and hasn't been for years they are now referring to a "crash". Reality doddery old fuck pulls out in front of another car without looking.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

Kaka Tim said:


> jesus - what a triumph of grovelling sycophancy.


  Tbf though, he is the husband of the boss


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

I had a write off 2 years ago. Took a good 48 hours for the real damage to hit up. Just saying like


----------



## Idris2002 (Jan 18, 2019)

DotCommunist said:


> I want him to die today and be buried on friday so all them cunts have to put on not just the sunday best, but the proper uncomfortable pimpin pageantry bullshit. They can sweat like arse all day till it breaks then get soaked in their best things
> 
> kebabking, likefish, all you other servants of the war machine, get the dress uniforms out. I'll be in my bare chest


Why give them a cool Heavy Metal nickname like "servants of the war machine"? Surely "Brenda's Tea Drinkers" should suffice?


----------



## klang (Jan 18, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Fortunately not, as I find photos of the queen driving to be hilarious for some reason


a) honourable of her to destroy the lawn in order to save a toddler's life.
b) she seems to be smaller yet a lot heavier then her co-driver.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

The BBC have the gloves off on this now effectively - no pussyfooting about - old man without his faculties mashes proles and baby in Korean car - hangers on rush to his aid


This could be the spark that ignites revolution


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 18, 2019)

littleseb said:


> b) she seems to be smaller yet a lot heavier then her co-driver.




its the jewelry


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 18, 2019)

Obviously any other 97 year old would by now have been torn to shreds!


----------



## MickiQ (Jan 18, 2019)

littleseb said:


> a) honourable of her to destroy the lawn in order to save a toddler's life.
> b) she seems to be smaller yet a lot heavier then her co-driver.


Lizard people home planet probably has much higher surface gravity than Earth.

The old coot is like Wolverine he appears to be unkillable, however the Kia must have  going at a fair old speed to roll a Range Rover over, it's surprising that no-one has been more seriously hurt.


----------



## klang (Jan 18, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> appears to be unkillable


oh, he will die at some point, probably sooner than later.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

littleseb said:


> oh, he will die at some point, probably sooner than later.


he bathes in the blood of virgins so it could be later rather than sooner


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Obviously any other 97 year old would by now have been torn to shreds!


a torch-toting mob demanding why won't he die


----------



## Wilf (Jan 18, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Obviously any other 97 year old would by now have been torn to shreds!


Anybody else and the Mail would have it 'benefit scrounging pensioner drives 10 miles the wrong way down the M6'.


----------



## 8ball (Jan 18, 2019)

Kaka Tim said:


> jesus - what a triumph of grovelling sycophancy.



I dunno.  It reads to me like "I hope he dies".


----------



## Sasaferrato (Jan 18, 2019)

Well done him. For a 97 year old to walk away from an accident of this severity is astonishing.


----------



## 8ball (Jan 18, 2019)

Sasaferrato said:


> Well done him. For a 97 year old to walk away from an accident of this severity is astonishing.


----------



## peterkro (Jan 18, 2019)

Sasaferrato said:


> Well done him. For a 97 year old to walk away from an accident of this severity is astonishing.


Accident ??


----------



## Sasaferrato (Jan 18, 2019)

danny la rouge said:


> Are you suggesting he was over the limit?
> 
> Probably.



He was breathalysed, and was not over the limit. I wouldn't have expected anything else.

He's been extraordinarily lucky not to break any bones, they are brittle at 97.

Tough old bird.  I can just imagine the bollocking he got from the Queen though.


----------



## Sasaferrato (Jan 18, 2019)

Celyn said:


> Do Land Rovers often overturn, or was the half-dead prince driving dangerously?



No, they don't. The car that hit him must have been travelling at some speed.


----------



## Sasaferrato (Jan 18, 2019)

peterkro said:


> Accident ??



It is reported thus.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

several tons of metal helped. Luckily a cheap car with a baby inside stopped him really hurting himself


----------



## skyscraper101 (Jan 18, 2019)

Whats the deal then, does he just drive about on his own with no protection? Seems like any opportunist with a bigger vehicle could have a go. I'd have assumed he gets a police escort on public roads, no?


----------



## Sasaferrato (Jan 18, 2019)

skyscraper101 said:


> Whats the deal then, does he just drive about on his own with no protection? Seems like any opportunist with a bigger vehicle could have a go then?



I suspect that this will be the end of his driving. 

He's by no means the oldest driver, there are a number who are over 100. There was an old lady on Islay who was still driving at 106.


----------



## Argonia (Jan 18, 2019)

I love the way there are three threads about this already. Wait until the day that he finally pops his clogs, the boards will be fucking electric.


----------



## butchersapron (Jan 18, 2019)

Sasaferrato said:


> I suspect that this will be the end of his driving.
> 
> He's by no means the oldest driver, there are a number who are over 100. There was an old lady on Islay who was still driving at 106.


And she didn't start driving until she was 105.


----------



## pesh (Jan 18, 2019)

Argonia said:


> I love the way there are three threads about this already. Wait until the day that he finally pops his clogs, the boards will be fucking electric.


if trump is impeached on the same day the internet may break forever


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

Argonia said:


> I love the way there are three threads about this already. Wait until the day that he finally pops his clogs, the boards will be fucking electric.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

skyscraper101 said:


> Whats the deal then, does he just drive about on his own with no protection? Seems like any opportunist with a bigger vehicle could have a go. I'd have assumed he gets a police escort on public roads, no?


his driving has scared off his protection officers


----------



## D'wards (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

There can be only one.


----------



## Part 2 (Jan 18, 2019)

"My legs, my legs"


----------



## Wilf (Jan 18, 2019)

Part 2 said:


> "My legs, my legs"


Made my fucking day!


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

Part 2 said:


> "My legs, my legs"


winter sunshine is a popular brand of white cider


----------



## twentythreedom (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

Shout out to all the aristos’ ou there - This is the kinda car you should be looking to cruise in


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## skyscraper101 (Jan 18, 2019)

The Mail graphic is like a storyboard extract from "One Foot in the Grave"


----------



## Wilf (Jan 18, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 159099




By the way, is the red crawling things his pre-toasted soul nipping off to Hades for an Induction Event?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## Idris2002 (Jan 18, 2019)

tim said:


> Look at him!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I hope I look that good when I'm 204.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

like the product placement here


----------



## Wilf (Jan 18, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 159101


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

skyscraper101 said:


> The Mail graphic is like a storyboard extract from "One Foot in the Grave"


  I don’t believe it..,


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## Virtual Blue (Jan 18, 2019)

i still think he's in a coma and that we are just characters in his prolonged state of consciousness.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## Chilli.s (Jan 18, 2019)

Breathalysed? Or a free pass on that.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

Chilli.s said:


> Breathalysed? Or a free pass on that.


yeh i bet the women were


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 18, 2019)

MI5 have upped their game - they didnt use a white uno this time  but still kept yer old dazzle the driver approach


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> MI5 have upped their game - they didnt use a white uno this time .


should have used a 7.5 tonne truck

then he'd have had a reason for going 'my legs my legs'


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 18, 2019)

At 97 years of age the freeloading parasite finally gets a career.


----------



## klang (Jan 18, 2019)

surely if Joerg Haider can pull it off so can Phillip


----------



## Wilf (Jan 18, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 159105


'A Landrover Freeloader'.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

Wilf said:


> 'A Landrover Freeloader'.


a landrover freeloader


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 18, 2019)

His close protection officer probably radioed in, he’s rolled the rover over, over!
There was one of those celebrity protecting solicitors (Bastards) on the radio (BBC) earlier saying. It’s an easy assumption to blame a 97 year old driver, but it’s just as feasible that the female was driving far too fast!
Blame the peasant begins!


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Jan 18, 2019)

The low winter sun apparently 

Revoke the auld cunt’s licence!


----------



## Sasaferrato (Jan 18, 2019)

Chilli.s said:


> Breathalysed? Or a free pass on that.


Yes. Breathalysed.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jan 18, 2019)

Mr.Bishie said:


> The low winter sun apparently


Just seen that, ffs. If the low sun blinds you momentarily don't fucking pull out.


----------



## InfoBurner (Jan 18, 2019)

Wouldn't normally post a Daily Mash but...

Got that f**king grouse though, says Philip


----------



## tim (Jan 18, 2019)

Kaka Tim said:


> jesus - what a triumph of grovelling sycophancy.



And that from man who wasn't afraid to stand up to Idi Amin and was willing to face the torture that resulted from his defiance.The Archbishop is clearly aware of the consequences of falling out with the Crocodile of Sandringham, and knows that his predecessor Woolsey got of comparatively lightly when he crossed Henry VIII.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 18, 2019)

tim said:


> And that from man who wasn't afraid to stand up to Idi Amin and was willing to face the torture that resulted from his defiance.The Archbishop is clearly aware of the consequences of falling out with the Crocodile of Sandringham, and knows that his predecessor Woolsey got of comparatively lightly when he crossed Henry VIII.


Wolsey famously saved his life by dying at leicester on his way to see henry viii


----------



## tim (Jan 18, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Wolsey famously saved his life by dying at leicester on his way to see henry viii



It would have been the lavatories at Watford Gap for Sentamu.

Probably the full Edward II


----------



## moochedit (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## JuanTwoThree (Jan 18, 2019)

Dame Kathy Burke

Kathy Burke brands Prince Philip a selfish c**t after horror crash


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jan 18, 2019)

She's a fucking legend.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Jan 18, 2019)

Let’s be clear, she didn’t actually call him a “selfish old cunt”, she called him a “97 year old selfish cunt”. I mean journalistic accuracy is important.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Jan 18, 2019)

Prince Philip called a 'c***' by Kathy Burke over car accident | Metro News


----------



## DexterTCN (Jan 18, 2019)

So he loses his license now, right?


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Jan 18, 2019)

Probably best to merge this with the other threads tbh.


----------



## A380 (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## Duncan2 (Jan 18, 2019)

Sasaferrato said:


> I suspect that this will be the end of his driving.
> 
> He's by no means the oldest driver, there are a number who are over 100. There was an old lady on Islay who was still driving at 106.


Er not the end of his driving-Toad of Toad Hall style he was observed to be taking delivery of a shiny new Landrover earlier today.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 18, 2019)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Let’s be clear, she didn’t actually call him a “selfish old cunt”, she called him a “97 year old selfish cunt”. I mean journalistic accuracy is important.



Good stuff.


----------



## RedSkin (Jan 18, 2019)

No reports on BBC news as to the welfare of the occupants of the Kia, especially the 9 month old baby. All reported from the old coffin dodger's point of view.

Wonder if the 9 month old had died they would have been accorded a state funeral. 

Even in death and all that.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 18, 2019)

DexterTCN said:


> So he loses his license now, right?



Er...yeaaah right!


----------



## tim (Jan 18, 2019)

SpookyFrank said:


> She's a fucking legend.



She's fucking pissed off about or getting a damehood


----------



## andysays (Jan 19, 2019)

Duncan2 said:


> Er not the end of his driving-Toad of Toad Hall style he was observed to be taking delivery of a shiny new Landrover earlier today.


Good to see he's continuing to support the British car industry


----------



## isvicthere? (Jan 19, 2019)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> View attachment 159112
> 
> 
> At 97 years of age the freeloading parasite finally gets a career.


----------



## isvicthere? (Jan 19, 2019)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Let’s be clear, she didn’t actually call him a “selfish old cunt”, she called him a “97 year old selfish cunt”. I mean journalistic accuracy is important.




So, no Dame Kathy Burke then?


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 19, 2019)

This has probably been answered by I cba to read the thread. Was he driving or being chauffeured?


----------



## MickiQ (Jan 19, 2019)

The baby was unhurt, the woman driving suffered minor cuts and the woman in the front passenger seat suffered a broken wrist.


Spymaster said:


> This has probably been answered by I cba to read the thread. Was he driving or being chauffeured?


He was driving and apparently was in the car on his own


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 19, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> This has probably been answered by I cba to read the thread. Was he driving or being chauffeured?


He was driving. But it is unclear how alone he was. This has been somewhat glossed over. There were certainly security on the scene very quickly. Whether they were following or were actually in the vehicle is not being said.


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 19, 2019)

Was it his fault? The fucker's nearly 100 years old.


----------



## danny la rouge (Jan 19, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Was it his fault? The fucker's nearly 100 years old.


It would appear so: he pulled out of a side road into the path of an oncoming car on a 60mph limit stretch. 

Prince Philip crash: Duke told witnesses 'I'm such a fool'


----------



## MickiQ (Jan 19, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Was it his fault? The fucker's nearly 100 years old.


The news outlets are being a bit cagey about it but all the reports are that he pulled out of the side road off the Sandringham Estate, I found it on Google Maps and it is a long straight road and visbility is good though it is a local reputation for speeding. 
The other car was being driven by the mother of the baby so I doubt she was speeding, also some of the peeps who arrived on the scene first are quoted that he said he was blinded by the sun and very apologetic about everything, It would appear to be a) a pure accident and b) deffo his fault.  
I suspect that this will ended up being settled by the insurance companies and his family leaning on him to give up driving. My family did that with my Dad and he is a lot younger than Phil the Greek.


----------



## maomao (Jan 19, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Was it his fault? The fucker's nearly 100 years old.


I know an 82 year old professional driver and a few in their 70s. I don't think it should be allowed. Compulsory annual retesting after 70 or 75 or something would be good.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 19, 2019)

wonder if this bastard had a licence that was acutally properly assessed on a regular basis rather than being rubber stamped by a flunkey ? i dont suppose we will ever know. its enough to make you question your belief in the monarchy sometimes


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Jan 19, 2019)

maomao said:


> I know an 82 year old professional driver and a few in their 70s. I don't think it should be allowed. Compulsory annual retesting after 70 or 75 or something would be good.



Considering we may all end up having to work to 70 and older...70 is a bit young to be starting yearly tests. 
Over here state employees employed before 2004 are to be allowed work until they are 70 if they wish. 
I'd be inclined to say test drivers from 73 on every 2 years.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jan 19, 2019)

I have to say this part of the thread gave me a funny turn.
I'm 58 and haven't driven for 10 years and plan to retire at 60 and will need to drive again for several years - until I get myself established.
I'm starting to spot limitations in terms of physical stamina, but I manage to stay alive cycling every day ...

Though I taught myself to drive in half an hour aged 24, after years of motorcycling, I have always been aware of my limitations and find high speed, long distance driving challenging.
I hanker after a small electric vehicle and a maximum range of 30 miles on quiet roads.

The French driving test is much more involved than the one I took in the UK in 1991, so will hopefully try to pass the online theory part at least - and perhaps take a few lessons once established there.

But Phil taking delivery of a new killing machine so soon, suggests the real problem is with attitude. I hope he gets a hint from somewhere...


----------



## Poot (Jan 19, 2019)

He's got a new Ranger Rover now and went out again this afternoon so you can all stop being concerned about how his freedom has been curtailed.

Prince Philip drives alone in replacement car - but still isn't wearing seatbelt

Other road users, you say? No, I can't hear you. Sorry.


----------



## maomao (Jan 19, 2019)

Poot said:


> He's got a new Ranger Rover now and went out again this afternoon so you can all stop being concerned about how his freedom has been curtailed.
> 
> Prince Philip drives alone in replacement car - but still isn't wearing seatbelt
> 
> Other road users, you say? No, I can't hear you. Sorry.


I suppose him not wearing a seatbelt is the only bit of silver lining. Selfish fucking cunt.


----------



## maomao (Jan 19, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Considering we may all end up having to work to 70 and older...70 is a bit young to be starting yearly tests.
> Over here state employees employed before 2004 are to be allowed work until they are 70 if they wish.
> I'd be inclined to say test drivers from 73 on every 2 years.



Don't see how turning up at a testing centre once a year is any great hardship tbh. The professional drivers I work with have to do medicals every cop ple of years anyway. It's obviously a case by case thing. I know a 76 year old who certainly shouldn't be forced out of a job he enjoys and a 74 year old who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a steering wheel.


----------



## tim (Jan 19, 2019)

You gentrophobes should fuck off and start your own thread about how you want to demean and marginalise the elderly in general.

This one is for Neojacobins who wish to mock, and rejoice in the misfortunes of one of the more repugnant members of the absurd family that seeks to lord it over us.


----------



## weltweit (Jan 19, 2019)

I saw the picture of him in the new car (at least I assume that was genuine) but my immediate thought was also, no seatbelt!


----------



## Celyn (Jan 19, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> ...  its enough to make you question your belief in the monarchy sometimes



Yes.    A bit amused, though, that the "Daily Mail" is playing with this. Probably just for fun, though, and it will soon be back to "what a lovely old gent he is". And "blah,single-handedly ran the Navy in the war, saved the country, and is always one for the most amusing little quips".


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 19, 2019)

weltweit said:


> I saw the picture of him in the new car (at least I assume that was genuine) but my immediate thought was also, no seatbelt!


My immediate thought was I hope he crashes again, this time into a tree


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 19, 2019)

tim said:


> You gentrophobes should fuck off and start your own thread about how you want to demean and marginalise the elderly in general.
> 
> This one is for Neojacobins who wish to mock, and rejoice in the misfortunes of one of the more repugnant members of the absurd family that seeks to lord it over us.


He's less repugnant than most as he'll be dead sooner than most


----------



## tim (Jan 19, 2019)

weltweit said:


> I saw the picture of him in the new car (at least I assume that was genuine) but my immediate thought was also, no seatbelt!


It's not new, it's one of his back up vehicles.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jan 20, 2019)

New or not, he's taking the piss.


----------



## gentlegreen (Jan 20, 2019)




----------



## Celyn (Jan 20, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> My immediate thought was I hope he crashes again, this time into a tree


((( innocent poor murdered tree  )))

Do you think he is even able to aim at a tree?


----------



## Raheem (Jan 20, 2019)

I don't see what all the fuss is about. Personally, I like how he rolls.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jan 20, 2019)

Raheem said:


> I don't see what all the fuss is about. Personally, I like how he rolls.


Ah, I detect an attempt at ROFL punning jokesmithery. 

The car didn't roll, it merely turned 90deg onto its side.

He's a cunt


----------



## andysays (Jan 20, 2019)

tim said:


> You gentrophobes should fuck off and start your own thread about how you want to demean and marginalise the elderly in general.
> 
> This one is for Neojacobins who wish to mock, and rejoice in the misfortunes of one of the more repugnant members of the absurd family that seeks to lord it over us.


I'm sure there's enough space on the thread for both, and even for those simply and genuinely concerned about road safety, unlike the senile parasite who's the original subject...


----------



## JuanTwoThree (Jan 20, 2019)

In Spain I have to do a test of my eyesight, hearing, cordination and reaction times. Things like predicting when a little light that goes into a tunnel will appear at the other end and keeping another light from hitting the sides of a twisting road. Every two years.

I am aware that I'm less mentally agile and consciously checking twice at junctions and so on and not speeding as a matter of course.

I doubt if the ancient lizard overlord could pass these tests, nor does he seem to be being cautious at junctions or taking things more slowly. 

 From aged 70 to 85 my mum progressively gave up motorway driving, then unfamiliar A roads and towns, then limited herself to the quieter roads only to get to civilisation, if my brothers' houses or Fishguard and Cardigan could be called that, before stopping altogether. My father had done much the same and my grandfather too. It's only sensible.


----------



## tim (Jan 20, 2019)

Celyn said:


> ((( innocent poor murdered tree  )))
> 
> Do you think he is even able to aim at a tree?




I wouldn't fancy my chances against him and his trusted Purdey even if I was on the far side of an East Anglian field.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Jan 20, 2019)

gentlegreen said:


> I have to say this part of the thread gave me a funny turn.
> I'm 58 and haven't driven for 10 years and plan to retire at 60 and will need to drive again for several years - until I get myself established.
> I'm starting to spot limitations in terms of physical stamina, but I manage to stay alive cycling every day ...
> 
> ...



With your experience especially on bikes and motor bikes plus with a level of self awarness of your limitations you are probably safer than most on the road


----------



## DownwardDog (Jan 20, 2019)

gentlegreen said:


> The French driving test is much more involved than the one I took in the UK in 1991, so will hopefully try to pass the online theory part at least - and perhaps take a few lessons once established there.



It's usually 2,000 - 3,000EUR to get a French license because of the cost of mandatory lessons. You're better off taking lessons and the test in Belgium for about 500EUR and then swapping it for a French one.


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 20, 2019)

bellaozzydog said:


> With your experience especially on bikes and motor bikes plus with a level of self awarness of your limitations you are probably safer than most on the road


Agreed on the motorbikes but cycling turns most people into talentless morons.


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 20, 2019)

DownwardDog said:


> It's usually 2,000 - 3,000EUR to get a French license because of the cost of mandatory lessons. You're better off taking lessons and the test in Belgium for about 500EUR and then swapping it for a French one.


The minimum is 20 hours which is what most people do in the UK. Lessons are cheaper (certainly than London) there too.


----------



## Celyn (Jan 20, 2019)

tim said:


> I wouldn't fancy my chances against him and his trusted Purdey even if I was on the far side of an East Anglian field.


Because he's a Purdey Purdey man singing songs of love.


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 20, 2019)

> Ms Fairweather told the Sunday Mirror that "I'm lucky to be alive and he hasn't even said sorry".
> 
> "It has been such a traumatic and painful time and I would have expected more of the Royal Family," she added.
> 
> ...


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Jan 20, 2019)

tim said:


> I wouldn't fancy my chances against him and his trusted Purdey even if I was on the far side of an East Anglian field.



Knowing the recoil from such a gun, his 97 year old clavicle would be smashed to smithereens.


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 20, 2019)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Knowing the recoil from such a gun, his 97 year old clavicle would be smashed to smithereens.


It's probably a .410

If they've any sense they'll keep him away from the big stuff.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Jan 20, 2019)

So he's been driving again and the police stopped him and advised him to put his seatbelt on

Police speak to Prince Philip after he is pictured driving again


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

It begs the question- where the fuck was he going ? He was hardly popping to the shops for a ginsters and a copy of tv quick. Everything he wants or needs is brought to him - he has no need to leave his royal centre parks ever


----------



## klang (Jan 20, 2019)

maybe he has an affair.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 20, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> It begs the question- where the fuck was he going ? He was hardly popping to the shops for a ginsters and a copy of tv quick. Everything he wants or needs is brought to him - he has no need to leave his royal centre parks ever


He was looking for peasants to run down


----------



## andysays (Jan 20, 2019)

Spymaster said:


>



If the rumours of Alzheimer's are correct, he probably has trouble remembering them and the accident himself...


----------



## Celyn (Jan 20, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> He was looking for peasants to run down


And he's not a pheasant plucker.


----------



## Celyn (Jan 20, 2019)

gentlegreen said:


> New or not, he's taking the piss.


It might even seem like a sulky child or teenager. Nyah, nyah you can't stop me. Nyah Nyah.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

It varies, but Alzheimers/ Dementia can be rather belligerent / unreasonable in the early / mid stages. Combone this with someone who has never been requested to do anything by anyone in his worthless shitting life & is surrounded by flunkies - it could make a pretty cantankerous old bastard


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 20, 2019)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Knowing the recoil from such a gun, his 97 year old clavicle would be smashed to smithereens.


Pity he's not looking down the barrel


----------



## Chilli.s (Jan 20, 2019)

I bet I'd be treated a whole lot differently by the popo if it were me doing these things this week.


----------



## bellaozzydog (Jan 20, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> It varies, but Alzheimers/ Dementia can be rather belligerent / unreasonable in the early / mid stages. *Combone this with someone who has never been requested to do anything by anyone in his worthless shitting life & is surrounded by flunkies - it could make a pretty cantankerous old bastard*



This

He needs his achilles cut and dropped off in Lion country at LongLeat


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 20, 2019)

bellaozzydog said:


> This
> 
> He needs his achilles cut and dropped off in Lion country at LongLeat


Poor lions


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

Chilli.s said:


> I bet I'd be treated a whole lot differently by the popo if it were me doing these things this week.



just tell them you are an extremely wealthy old racist and I am sure they will let you off with a gentle warning


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 20, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> just tell them you are an extremely wealthy old racist and I am sure they will let you off with a gentle warning


And a commendation or medal


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

.


----------



## pesh (Jan 20, 2019)

twentythreedom said:


> Ah, I detect an attempt at ROFL punning jokesmithery.
> 
> The car didn't roll, it merely turned 90deg onto its side.
> 
> He's a cunt


It did roll... passengers side, roof, drivers side... it’s all in the helpful diagram a few pages back, but yeah, easy to miss if you’re properly laughing at the time


----------



## Wilf (Jan 20, 2019)

Wonder what his victim's legal options are, given that the OB won't prosecute? Be interesting to know what kind of insurance the royals have, whether they are liable for insuring someone unfit to drive etc. My guess is she'd get 100% nowhere, but still worth shining a bit of light into the murky recesses of royal family finances.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

would cheaper for them to give the driver and passenger an MBE than to pay the excess and no claims discount loss on the old bastards sheilas wheels policy


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

or a gold duke of edinburgh award. thats a rich vein of punnery and memes right there

eta; my lawyers are watching - i have copyrighted this particular meme genre


----------



## Wilf (Jan 20, 2019)

"Dear Compare the Market, I'm a possibly demented 97 year old racist with a gun. What are my car insurance options? Don't worry, Johnny Public will be paying."


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Jan 20, 2019)

They should buy the woman a new car.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

I bought my banger from a family that confiscated it off pops when he started getting all jason statham in Weybridge with it. he was 75.


----------



## marshall (Jan 20, 2019)

Local press (for local people) report he's notorious around the roads of Sandringham, previously ran some bloke off the road, then flipped him the finger


----------



## T & P (Jan 20, 2019)

bellaozzydog said:


> So he's been driving again and the police stopped him and advised him to put his seatbelt on
> 
> Police speak to Prince Philip after he is pictured driving again


Could be wrong but I thought being caught behind the wheel not wearing a seatbelt attracted an automatic 3-point penalty? I hope if I’m ever stopped by the rozzers for a penalty point infraction I too will simply be ‘talked to’.


----------



## MickiQ (Jan 20, 2019)

Wilf said:


> Wonder what his victim's legal options are, given that the OB won't prosecute? Be interesting to know what kind of insurance the royals have, whether they are liable for insuring someone unfit to drive etc. My guess is she'd get 100% nowhere, but still worth shining a bit of light into the murky recesses of royal family finances.


Him not being prosecuted as nothing to do with liability, What will happen is what happens in every case like this, She will tell her insurance company who will write to him telling him they hold him at fault and to either cough up or pass any correspondence along to his insurers. Look on the bright side at least they will have no trouble finding him.
I don't know if the Royals need insurance, it is possible or was possible to drive without insurance if you can prove you can cover your own risks by depositing a large bond with the appropriate authorities. The Army and even the Post Office used to do that (though I don't know if they still do), maybe Phil the Greek is the same.
There is always the MIB scheme as well which would be funny if they got involved and chased the old coot.
I have this mental vision of Phil the Greek being sent down with Brenda in the gallery shouting "I'll wait for you" but I don't think it will happen.
As far as the Kia driver is concerned this will work out the same as if it were some other old codger that had pulled out, maybe even easier since I suspect the Palace will not want any embarrassment over a few grand.


----------



## MickiQ (Jan 20, 2019)

T & P said:


> Could be wrong but I thought being caught behind the wheel not wearing a seatbelt attracted an automatic 3-point penalty? I hope if I’m ever stopped by the rozzers for a penalty point infraction I too will simply be ‘talked to’.


No it doesn't it's only a fixed penalty fine of £100 which is fair enough letting him off really since the money would just be going round in a circle.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 20, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> Him not being prosecuted as nothing to do with liability, What will happen is what happens in every case like this, She will tell her insurance company who will write to him telling him they hold him at fault and to either cough up or pass any correspondence along to his insurers. Look on the bright side at least they will have no trouble finding him.
> I don't know if the Royals need insurance, it is possible or was possible to drive without insurance if you can prove you can cover your own risks by depositing a large bond with the appropriate authorities. The Army and even the Post Office used to do that (though I don't know if they still do), maybe Phil the Greek is the same.



broadly, that.

i would say that only a fraction of road traffic accidents result in someone being prosecuted for anything.

as regards the 'apology' - advice from insurance companies is not to admit liability, that's their job not the driver / vehicle owner's.  at one point in my past, i was first contact at a fleet operator for insurance matters - we had a letter to send to people who wrote in following accidents, with a form of words that had been vetted by our insurers to sound sympathetic without saying anything that could be taken as an admission of liability.


----------



## stavros (Jan 20, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> It begs the question- where the fuck was he going ? He was hardly popping to the shops for a ginsters and a copy of tv quick. Everything he wants or needs is brought to him - he has no need to leave his royal centre parks ever



He was on his way to a Parisian tunnel to test out if not wearing a seat belt is really as bad as has been made out.


----------



## SpookyFrank (Jan 20, 2019)

tim said:


> You gentrophobes should fuck off and start your own thread about how you want to demean and marginalise the elderly in general.
> 
> This one is for Neojacobins who wish to mock, and rejoice in the misfortunes of one of the more repugnant members of the absurd family that seeks to lord it over us.



Some old folk can drive perfectly well but loss of reaction times, decision making, perception etc with age are non-trivial issues that have to be addressed in some way. 

My granddad was driving a car with fucked steering resulting from a collision he didn't remember having and apparently no awareness of the fact that the car would veer off to the right with the steering wheel dead centre. We got his licence revoked, not out of spite but out of a profound desire to keep him alive as long as possible.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Jan 20, 2019)

Puddy_Tat said:


> broadly, that.
> 
> i would say that only a fraction of road traffic accidents result in someone being prosecuted for anything.
> 
> as regards the 'apology' - advice from insurance companies is not to admit liability, that's their job not the driver / vehicle owner's.  at one point in my past, i was first contact at a fleet operator for insurance matters - we had a letter to send to people who wrote in following accidents, with a form of words that had been vetted by our insurers to sound sympathetic without saying anything that could be taken as an admission of liability.



but its not a normal case is it? Definitely worth pursuing as to weather the old fucker has insurance and weather he was fit to drive - i.e any recent medical examinations and advice would be relevant.  They will not get anywhere but the pressure  may result in them getting  a bigger than normal pay out from the old lizard cunts.


----------



## eatmorecheese (Jan 20, 2019)

He had to get out and liaise with the drone pilots he's ordered to fuck with UK airports for a laugh. Tremendous sport.


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 20, 2019)

Kaka Tim said:


> but its not a normal case is it? Definitely worth pursuing as to weather the old fucker has insurance and weather he was fit to drive - i.e any recent medical examinations and advice would be relevant.  They will not get anywhere but the pressure  may result in them getting  a bigger than normal pay out from the old lizard cunts.


The accident will be reported as normal and she'll get weighed in for her losses by an insurance company (assuming that the royal family don't self insure). She can't pursue anything beyond that. That'll be down to the police, and she won't get a larger payout than that which covers her losses.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 20, 2019)

+ damages for injury compo- think whiplash is capped now though ?


----------



## MickiQ (Jan 20, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> + damages for injury compo- think whiplash is capped now though ?


Yup the Bill received Royal Assent (Oh the irony!) one month ago  today


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 20, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> + damages for injury compo- think whiplash is capped now though ?


Yes, but again these will be via insurance. Phil being old/pissed/a cunt/whatever, isn't going to increase the payout.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 21, 2019)

(meh.  image fail.)


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Yes, but again these will be via insurance. Phil being old/pissed/a cunt/whatever, isn't going to increase the payout.


Didn't exchange insurance details and left scene of accident


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Jan 21, 2019)

Whatever the ins and outs of this are, I still think they should just buy the woman a new car.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 21, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Whatever the ins and outs of this are, I still think they should just buy the woman a new car.


That's not the way it works with monarchy; commoners buy the RF new stuff.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Jan 21, 2019)

.


----------



## Celyn (Jan 21, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> Whatever the ins and outs of this are, I still think they should just buy the woman a new car.


"Good morning, Ms Bloggs. Here is a nice new car for you. Prince Philip made sure to have it made to the highest specifications. Special specifications".


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 21, 2019)

The filthy old bastard probably runs his fleet of landis on red diesel as well - I hope the peelers dipped his tanks after his to live and die in sandrigham adventure


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 21, 2019)

brogdale said:


> That's not the way it works with monarchy;


It’s not the way it works with anyone.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> The filthy old bastard probably runs his fleet of landis on red diesel as well - I hope the peelers dipped his tanks after his to live and die in sandrigham adventure


Let's hope he doesn't visit the injured women, and especially hope he doesn't display his ability to remove casts by getting one off the wrist


----------



## Riklet (Jan 21, 2019)

Emma Fairwater, the woman lucky to just have a broken wrist really should get the fuck over herself and just be glad it wasn't a lot worse. Talk about milking it for all its worth, she really wants her 15 minutes.

I'm no fan of the Royals or Prince Philip but a personal fucking apology? No one should ever apologise for that kind of accident until it's all settled legally.

As for whether he should still be driving and so soon after a recent accident, I think thats another matter. His response is insensitive and dumb at best.


----------



## tim (Jan 21, 2019)

Riklet said:


> Emma Fairwater, the woman lucky to just have a broken wrist really should get the fuck over herself and just be glad it wasn't a lot worse. Talk about milking it for all its worth, she really wants her 15 minutes.
> 
> I'm no fan of the Royals or Prince Philip but a personal fucking apology? No one should ever apologise for that kind of accident until it's all settled legally.
> 
> As for whether he should still be driving and so soon after a recent accident, I think thats another matter. His response is insensitive and dumb at best.




Yes, some people wait hours for a personal encounter with the Royals and are then ignored. She should be grateful for the attention etc, etc!


Prince Philip has not said sorry for car crash,  injured woman claims

Or she should put a bit more effort into being enraged and seek to sensibly monetise her 15 minutes of fame


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

Did Philip ever pass a driving test?


----------



## Riklet (Jan 21, 2019)

I wouldn't say sorry either.  There is no proof it all being his fault, aside from her friend clearly having priority, they could have been dazzled or the baby could have been crying etc etc.  We don't fully know what happened still, she's just being used by the press so they can milk it a bit.  The joke is she/we all want him treated like a normal person without any royal privilege... then her actions go totally counter to that.

Just because he's a sour insensitive 97 year old shit doesn't mean he's not a decent driver still, he could be better than many morons out there. I know age is a relevant factor but it's not everything.


----------



## Teaboy (Jan 21, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Did Philip ever pass a driving test?



I doubt it.  He's old enough to have been qualified before they brought the test in I would have thought.  Probably still has one of tiny little hard backed red driving licences.


----------



## MickiQ (Jan 21, 2019)

Teaboy said:


> I doubt it.  He's old enough to have been qualified before they brought the test in I would have thought.  Probably still has one of tiny little hard backed red driving licences.


Compulsory driving test was introduced in 1934 when he was 13 so he probably has passed a driving test but it would been a LONG time ago, I presume he has to do the re-assessed by a doctor every 3 years thing though, I do wonder how that goes myself.


----------



## moochedit (Jan 21, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Did Philip ever pass a driving test?



If he started drving before 1934 ( quite likely given his age) then he wouldn't have needed to do a test.

United Kingdom driving test - Wikipedia


----------



## Riklet (Jan 21, 2019)

Come on, he was in the navy, he would have been taught to drive to a relatively high standard using vehicles probably a lot harder to drive than a brand new 2018 Land Rover

For all his sins it's not like the old cunt has been mowing down pedestrians for 60 years, is it


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

Riklet said:


> Come on, he was in the navy, he would have been taught to drive to a relatively high standard using vehicles probably a lot harder to drive than a brand new 2018 Land Rover
> 
> For all his sins it's not like the old cunt has been mowing down pedestrians for 60 years, is it


There's a difference between being to drive and being able to drive legally

Did he ever have a driving licence?


----------



## Riklet (Jan 21, 2019)

Well he turned 17 on 10 June 1938, so assuming he learnt then while at Goulston he may well have done.  He joined the navy as a cadet in early 1939, which was both pre-war and pre suspension of driving tests due to the war effort. That gives him about a year to have passed it.

I'd say it's 90% likely he passed a driving test.  He wasn't a proper British Royal or aristocrat then, was he.  Not until a good 10 years later.


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 21, 2019)

My eldest brother in law would have been 85 and he didn’t take a test as he’d been driving before tests came in, he always said. But he also said he learnt to drive on National Service in the late 40s.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 21, 2019)

Many fathers/ grandfathers were handed out licences for things they had never driven as part of conscription/ national service / war effort


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 21, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> Many fathers/ grandfathers were handed out licences for things they had never driven as part of conscription/ national service / war effort



My grandfather never took a test, he was driving before he joined the RAF for the second world swedge.


----------



## Riklet (Jan 21, 2019)

Let's assume he was just given a license, even if he was driving from 16-17 onwards.  Even so, he presumably did receive some training in driving cars, trucks, transport vehicles etc.  The queen learnt to drive during the war, apparently.

This wouldn't make him in any way unique, however.  I'm sure there are loads of men of 85+  who never passed a formal driving test in the modern sense.  You would hope that driving for 60 years would give people some road sense, arguably more than 30 hours with an instructor gives you.


----------



## andysays (Jan 21, 2019)

In other news...

Prince Philip crash: Debris for sale on eBay


> Debris said to be from a crash involving the Duke of Edinburgh was put up for sale on eBay... ...It said all money raised from the online auction would go to Cancer Research UK, with *the price reaching £65,900 after 139 bids*. An eBay spokesman said the listing was removed in line with its "policy relating to the sale of any item that seeks to profit from human suffering or tragedy".


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 21, 2019)

A lot of wishful thinking going on here. As fun as it would be, I'd be fucking gobsmacked if he's been driving illegally. The main takeaway here is that _nobody _should be driving at his age without annual testing so the law needs changing.


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jan 21, 2019)

andysays said:


> In other news...
> 
> Prince Philip crash: Debris for sale on eBay


The usp 
The listing, which has now been removed, said it "may even have Phil's DNA on it, if you wanted to clone him".


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Jan 21, 2019)

Apparently he doesn't wear a seatbelt...and refuses to do so.
And police have spoken with him

Police speak to Philip for not wearing seat belt


On another tack...the idea that anyone involved in a minor car crash needs to apologise is bonkers.
Insurance deals with it all.


----------



## Wilf (Jan 21, 2019)

Riklet said:


> Well he turned 17 on 10 June 1938, so assuming he learnt then while at Goulston he may well have done.  He joined the navy as a cadet in early 1939, which was both pre-war and pre suspension of driving tests due to the war effort. That gives him about a year to have passed it.
> 
> I'd say it's 90% likely he passed a driving test.  He wasn't a proper British Royal or aristocrat then, was he.  Not until a good 10 years later.


My granddad drove trucks for the army in WW2. Passed his army test of course, but when he came out he should have done something administrative to turn it into a civilian licence (and within a definite period after the end of the war). Didn't do it and regretted it later. But forces driving tests didn't _automatically_ become civilian licences.


----------



## Wilf (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> A lot of wishful thinking going on here. As fun as it would be, I'd be fucking gobsmacked if he's been driving illegally. The main takeaway here is that _nobody _should be driving at his age without annual testing so the law needs changing.


Yes, I'll admit it, I'm wishing it.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Apparently he doesn't wear a seatbelt...and refuses to do so.
> And police have spoken with him
> 
> Police speak to Philip for not wearing seat belt
> ...


They do need to swap insurance details before leaving the scene and a crash where one vehicle overturns is a mite more than oops I've banged your bumper at 5mph


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 21, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> They do need to swap insurance details before leaving the scene and a crash where one vehicle overturns is a mite more than oops I've banged your bumper at 5mph


It doesn't need to be the drivers who do that though and apparently a load of flunkies turned up very quickly. One would assume that the lack of "PHILIP DOESN'T GIVE INSURANCE DETAILS!" headlines, suggests that this was taken care of by someone else.


----------



## brogdale (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> It doesn't need to be the drivers who do that though and apparently a load of flunkies turned up very quickly. One would assume that the lack of "PHILIP DOESN'T GIVE INSURANCE DETAILS!" headlines, suggests that this was taken care of by someone else.


Remember kidz...they're not _just like us, really._


----------



## moochedit (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> It doesn't need to be the drivers who do that though and apparently a load of flunkies turned up very quickly. One would assume that the lack of "PHILIP DOESN'T GIVE INSURANCE DETAILS!" headlines, suggests that this was taken care of by someone else.



Do you need to ask him anyway?

Philip Windsor
Buckingham Palace
London


----------



## tim (Jan 21, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Remember kidz...they're not _just like us, really._


Oh yes they are!


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 21, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Do you need to ask him anyway?
> 
> Philip Windsor
> Buckingham Palace
> London


Isn't he Mountbatten?


----------



## moochedit (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Isn't he Mountbatten?



You may be right. Just put "prince philip" then


----------



## tim (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Isn't he Mountbatten?


No, he's really a Battenburg and he now lives in a converted cow shed in Norfolk


----------



## gentlegreen (Jan 21, 2019)

Lupa said:


> On another tack...the idea that anyone involved in a minor car crash needs to apologise is bonkers.
> Insurance deals with it all.


If he'd pulled out in front of a motorcyclist there would have been a very different outcome.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Jan 21, 2019)

gentlegreen said:


> If he'd pulled out in front of a motorcyclist there would have been a very different outcome.



Of course. And that would not be a minor accident.


----------



## tim (Jan 21, 2019)

Lupa said:


> Of course. And that would not be a minor accident.


Yes, motorcylists, particularly those who eschew helmets, are incredibly vulnerable


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Isn't he Mountbatten?


Send him to sligo


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 21, 2019)

Does he even have insurance? I thought if you had enough assets to cover any eventuality you didn’t need insurance, similar to Royal Mail etc. I’m sure Windsor Ltd will have a few bob tucked away.


----------



## Sprocket. (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> Isn't he Mountbatten?



Battenburg originally.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Battenburg originally.


Like the cake


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 21, 2019)

Phil da bubble should be very fucking grateful that he didn’t smash in to Ronnie Pickering, story would have had a very different ending had he done that.


----------



## tim (Jan 21, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Like the cake


Not nearly as sweet


----------



## Spymaster (Jan 21, 2019)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Phil da bubble should be very fucking grateful that he didn’t smash in to Ronnie Pickering, story would have had a very different ending had he done that.


 It would have gone on all day ...

Ronnie: "Do you know who I am?"

Phil: "Do you know who _I_ am?"

Ronnie: "Do you know who I am?"

Phil: "Do you know who _I_ am?"

... etc, etc,


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2019)

Spymaster said:


> It would have gone on all day ...
> 
> Ronnie: "Do you know who I am?"
> 
> ...


It would have been their fork handles


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jan 21, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> It begs the question- where the fuck was he going ? He was hardly popping to the shops for a ginsters and a copy of tv quick. Everything he wants or needs is brought to him - he has no need to leave his royal centre parks ever


He has a 'private cottage' just off the royal estate which he apparently visits regularly.

Would anyone like to speculate on what he gets up to there?


----------



## 8ball (Jan 21, 2019)

Why would he apologise to the “little people”?


----------



## 8ball (Jan 21, 2019)

Brixton Hatter said:


> He has a 'private cottage' just off the royal estate which he apparently visits regularly.
> 
> Would anyone like to speculate on what he gets up to there?



A little pottery and a Python course on his Raspberry Pi?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Jan 22, 2019)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Fortunately not, as I find photos of the queen driving to be hilarious for some reason









She looks fucking done here TBF. Her heir is older than dirt, her senile husband is driving around trying to kill peasants when he's supposed to be under house arrest, a man who blabbed to the press about their private political discussions is likely to be the next PM. Add to that a recent state visit by the Donald...


----------



## Wilf (Jan 23, 2019)

Brixton Hatter said:


> He has a 'private cottage' just off the royal estate which he apparently visits regularly.
> 
> Would anyone like to speculate on what he gets up to there?


The macarena? 

Well, either that or he gets a weekly Countess Bathory treatment.


----------



## andysays (Feb 9, 2019)

Apparently (BBC) he's given up his driving licence


----------



## brogdale (Feb 9, 2019)

andysays said:


> Apparently (BBC) he's given up his driving licence


Got a little excited for a moment at the end of C4News when KGM went all serious and announced some BREAKING NEWS! about Phil....very disappointing.


----------



## stavros (Feb 9, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Got a little excited for a moment at the end of C4News when KGM went all serious and announced some BREAKING NEWS! about Phil....very disappointing.



How far would the broadcasters go with wiping the schedules for Phil's death? Would MOTD have been in danger? Or either of the 6N games today?


----------



## aqua (Feb 9, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Got a little excited for a moment at the end of C4News when KGM went all serious and announced some BREAKING NEWS! about Phil....very disappointing.


have you seen the pic of him? christ he looks dead already


----------



## brogdale (Feb 9, 2019)

stavros said:


> How far would the broadcasters go with wiping the schedules for Phil's death? Would MOTD have been in danger? Or either of the 6N games today?


I'd be prepared to forego quite a lot of sport in exchange for RF deaths, tbh.


----------



## stavros (Feb 9, 2019)

brogdale said:


> I'd be prepared to forego quite a lot of sport in exchange for RF deaths, tbh.



The deaths themselves will be no bad thing, other than to those who know and like the individuals concerned. It's the inevitable sycophancy which will accompany them for weeks on end that I'm dreading. We already have Brexit crowding out more important stuff. Phil snuffing it, or worse Brenda, would wipe out coverage of pretty much anything else.


----------



## Argonia (Feb 9, 2019)

That's very true, it will be insufferable. I might have to turn the TV off entirely when it happens and hide away at urban for comfort.


----------



## kenny g (Feb 9, 2019)

Elizabeth Bathory — History Bones


Wilf said:


> The macarena?
> 
> Well, either that or he gets a weekly Countess Bathory treatment.


----------



## kenny g (Feb 9, 2019)

Argonia said:


> That's very true, it will be insufferable. I might have to turn the TV off entirely when it happens and hide away at urban for comfort.



Ditched the TV years back. You save money on licence fee, add years to your non-virtual life and give a good finger to the man.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 9, 2019)

stavros said:


> The deaths themselves will be no bad thing, other than to those who know and like the individuals concerned. It's the inevitable sycophancy which will accompany them for weeks on end that I'm dreading. We already have Brexit crowding out more important stuff. Phil snuffing it, or worse Brenda, would wipe out coverage of pretty much anything else.


#Brenxit


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 9, 2019)

brogdale said:


> I'd be prepared to forego quite a lot of sport in exchange for RF deaths, tbh.


I hope Elizabeth or Philip  pop their clogs the first day of Wimbledon, I can't stand tennis


----------



## William of Walworth (Feb 9, 2019)

Best time of year for both of them to become late  within a couple of days of each other   : 
Otherwise, in terms of picking royal death dates ....

Not at all near Easter (late-ish April in 2019  ). 
And hopefully not too near either of May Bank Holiday weekends either.


----------



## Mr.Bishie (Feb 9, 2019)

andysays said:


> Apparently (BBC) he's given up his driving licence



Ban worthy bump tbh!’


----------



## gentlegreen (Feb 10, 2019)

Can you really get let off a DWDCAA charge by giving up your licence ?
A shame it wasn't drink driving - isn't the fine proportional to income these days ?


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> I hope Elizabeth or Philip  pop their clogs the first day of Wimbledon, I can't stand tennis



It's only the beeb that cancels everything when they die isn't it?

I'm worried about game of thrones


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

moochedit said:


> It's only the beeb that cancels everything when they die isn't it?
> 
> I'm worried about game of thrones


Yes you've picked up that the leader of the white walkers is based on Prince philip


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

moochedit said:


> It's only the beeb that cancels everything when they die isn't it?
> 
> I'm worried about game of thrones


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


>


Well i guess he doesn't need the licence anymore now he has a dragon to get about on.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Well i guess he doesn't need the licence anymore now he has a dragon to get about on.


South of the wall he'll need one for the dragon, under one of the auld targaryen laws


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> I hope Elizabeth or Philip  pop their clogs the first day of Wimbledon, I can't stand tennis



They should cancel all sport for a full year as a mark of respect.  That would make a lovely peaceful year.  



Argonia said:


> That's very true, it will be insufferable. I might have to turn the TV off entirely when it happens and hide away at urban for comfort.



I remember the wall-to-wall shite when Diana died - just awful, nauseating sycophantic bollocks.  We went to the pub and got shitfaced instead.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

farmerbarleymow said:


> They should cancel all sport for a full year as a mark of respect.  That would make a lovely peaceful year.


Well they could cancel polo, tennis, crown bowls, three day eventing, Eton wall game and fives


----------



## brogdale (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Well they could cancel polo, tennis, crown bowls, three day eventing, Eton wall game and fives


Or, as we like to call them, the components of _the South Atlantic pentathlon. _


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Well they could cancel polo, tennis, crown bowls, three day eventing, Eton wall game and fives



And football, rugby and everything else even vaguely related to sport.  I'd make an exception for more traditional events like the World Black Pudding Throwing Championships and that cheese rolling thing down a hill - they look like much better uses of time, and involve edible things.

And cancel all festivals - purely to annoy William of Walworth


----------



## tim (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> Well they could cancel polo, tennis, crown bowls, three day eventing, Eton wall game and fives



Crown owls keeps senior citizens in the North of England active and out of mischief. I don't see that cancelling it would either hasten the collapse of the class system or free up the TV schedules.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Or, as we like to call them, the components of _the South Atlantic pentathlon. _


We'll see how they like polo when they have to ride pantomime horses composed of former hurlingham club members


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Feb 10, 2019)

tim said:


> Crown owls keeps senior citizens in the North of England active and out of mischief. I don't see that cancelling it would either hasten the collapse of the class system or free up the TV schedules.



Do they ask the owls if they're OK with being used in a game?  

Anyway, bowls are basically giant marbles, so the people playing it are reenacting their childhoods.


----------



## tim (Feb 10, 2019)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Do they ask the owls if they're OK with being used in a game?


It's traditional working class owling


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

tim said:


> Crown owls keeps senior citizens in the North of England active and out of mischief. I don't see that cancelling it would either hasten the collapse of the class system or free up the TV schedules.


More crown owls and fewer crowned bowels


----------



## brogdale (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> We'll see how they like polo when they have to ride pantomime horses composed of former hurlingham club members


Yep and, given the conditions, we may have to bill the horsing as "_3 day" _eventing_._


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

brogdale said:


> Yep and, given the conditions, we may have to bill the horsing as "_3 day" _eventing_._


As horses eat grass and hay so would the former people panto horses


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> More crown owls and fewer crowned bowels



A crown in yer bowels would chafe a bit.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Feb 10, 2019)




----------



## farmerbarleymow (Feb 10, 2019)

Mrs Miggins said:


> View attachment 161451



You could also put a crown on your bowel if you had rectal prolapse.  I don't have a picture to illustrate this, so you'll have to use your imagination.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Feb 10, 2019)

farmerbarleymow said:


> You could also put a crown on your bowel if you had rectal prolapse.  I don't have a picture to illustrate this, so you'll have to use your imagination.


No thanks. I'll stick to the crown owls ta.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2019)

farmerbarleymow said:


> You could also put a crown on your bowel if you had rectal prolapse.  I don't have a picture to illustrate this, so you'll have to use your imagination.



Just google an image of a rectal prolapse and an image of a crown and then do some photoshop magic for us. Post it up when you've done it.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Feb 10, 2019)

moochedit said:


> Just google an image of a rectal prolapse and an image of a crown and then do some photoshop magic for us. Post it up when you've done it.



I believe Pickman's model has some pre-prepared images he could post - it would be a lot quicker than me creating one from scratch.  Alternatively, just a picture of old phil with a crown on is roughly equivalent.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

farmerbarleymow said:


> You could also put a crown on your bowel if you had rectal prolapse.  I don't have a picture to illustrate this, so you'll have to use your imagination.


The reason the owl looks so worried is it's using its imagination too


----------



## andysays (Feb 10, 2019)

Mr.Bishie said:


> Ban worthy bump tbh!’


The motorists of north Norfolk will be breathing a sigh of relief at the news


----------



## Sue (Feb 10, 2019)

More importantly, would we get a day off work..???


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 10, 2019)

Sue said:


> More importantly, would we get a day off work..???


I'd phone in sick complaining of split sides


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Feb 10, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> I'd phone in sick complaining of split sides



I'd post a ROFL only it's a bit naff...


----------



## Argonia (Feb 10, 2019)

I was so hammered on Tennants super that Diana's funeral was one of the funniest things I've ever seen


----------



## brogdale (Feb 10, 2019)

Argonia said:


> I was so hammered on Tennants super that Diana's funeral was one of the funniest things I've ever seen


Nearly did myself an injury when they played the Verve's 'Lucky Man' over footage of Wales walking behind her cortege in the (Clive James) end of year review thing.


----------



## tim (Feb 10, 2019)

andysays said:


> The motorists of north Norfolk will be breathing a sigh of relief at the news



Unlike the fauna, as he'll be pissed off and have more free time, and shooting fluffy or feathery creatures is  his chosen anger management therapy


----------



## stavros (Feb 10, 2019)

moochedit said:


> It's only the beeb that cancels everything when they die isn't it?
> 
> I'm worried about game of thrones



"We interrupt this programme to bring you an emergency Channel 4 news, presented by Jon Snow."


----------



## moochedit (Feb 10, 2019)

tim said:


> Unlike the fauna, as he'll be pissed off and have more free time, and shooting fluffy or feathery creatures is  his chosen anger management therapy


 
Maybe he'll have a dick cheney incident next


----------



## Argonia (Feb 14, 2019)

Prosecuting him would obviously be in the public interest:

Philip will not be prosecuted over crash


----------



## gentlegreen (Feb 14, 2019)

I hope he at least sends a bit of cash to the victims.


----------



## Teaboy (Feb 14, 2019)

Argonia said:


> Prosecuting him would obviously be in the public interest:
> 
> Philip will not be prosecuted over crash



It would be of interest to the public but not in the public interest.


----------



## andysays (Feb 14, 2019)

Argonia said:


> Prosecuting him would obviously be in the public interest:
> 
> Philip will not be prosecuted over crash


Not sure how easy it would be to find a jury of his peers


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 14, 2019)

gentlegreen said:


> I hope he at least sends a bit of cash to the victims.


That's not the way round that it works.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 14, 2019)

gentlegreen said:


> I hope he at least sends a bit of cash to the victims.


Yeh ten bob's in the post now no doubt


----------



## moochedit (Feb 14, 2019)

gentlegreen said:


> I hope he at least sends a bit of cash to the victims.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 14, 2019)

Lupa said:


> I'd post a ROFL only it's a bit naff...



LMAO


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 15, 2019)

andysays said:


> Not sure how easy it would be to find a jury of his peers



His wife's coat of arms is nailed to the back wall in every courtroom in the sodding country.



Anyway:
Council 'apologise sincerely' for posting Prince Phillip had died


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 20, 2019)

He's in hospital


----------



## BoxRoom (Dec 20, 2019)

Transplanting his brain into a new host I'll wager.


----------



## MickiQ (Dec 20, 2019)

skyscraper101 said:


> He's in hospital


He needs to get a move on only 1 of my 5 picks in the Death Pool has croaked this year and there are less than 2 weeks to go


----------



## moochedit (Dec 20, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> He needs to get a move on only 1 of my 5 picks in the Death Pool has croaked this year and there are less than 2 weeks to go



Yeah same as.. just mugabe for me.


----------



## tim (Dec 20, 2019)

MickiQ said:


> He needs to get a move on only 1 of my 5 picks in the Death Pool has croaked this year and there are less than 2 weeks to go



If you think he's going to die just to make you happy, you misunderestimate the man.


----------



## tim (Dec 20, 2019)

BoxRoom said:


> Transplanting his brain into a new host I'll wager.


(((Prince Edward)))


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 20, 2019)

tim said:


> (((Prince Edward)))


no, that's what harry's there for


----------



## cyril_smear (Dec 20, 2019)

Didn't he go into hospital this time last year? He's doing it to wind is up.


----------



## souljacker (Dec 20, 2019)

cyril_smear said:


> Didn't he go into hospital this time last year? He's doing it to wind is up.



Maybe the foods better? Or he can't bear another christmas with his fucking kids.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 20, 2019)

souljacker said:


> Maybe the foods better? Or he can't bear another christmas with his fucking kids.


Let's wait and see what the autopsy reveals


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 20, 2019)

The cunt won’t  be lying on a pile of coats in s corridor you can bet


----------



## Ax^ (Dec 20, 2019)

souljacker said:


> Maybe the foods better? Or he can't bear another christmas with his fucking kids.



"Andrew and Fergie are coming!!  Fuck this!!!"


----------



## clicker (Dec 20, 2019)

Andrew can deliver him a pizza.


----------



## keybored (Dec 20, 2019)

clicker said:


> Andrew can deliver him a pizza.


No sweat.


----------



## tim (Dec 20, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> no, that's what harry's there for




Run Megan Run!


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 21, 2019)

souljacker said:


> Maybe the foods better?



Crickets and grasshoppers he catches on his long, sticky tongue?


----------



## tim (Dec 21, 2019)

not-bono-ever said:


> The cunt won’t  be lying on a pile of coats in s corridor you can bet


He was, however, born on a kitchen table

17 things you didn’t know about the Queen and Prince Philip


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 21, 2019)

tim said:


> He was, however, born on a kitchen table
> 
> 17 things you didn’t know about the Queen and Prince Philip


But sadly cook took pity on him and let him live, serving poultry instead of prince for dinner


----------



## SpookyFrank (Dec 21, 2019)

Pickman's model said:


> no, that's what harry's there for



Has to be a genetically related host so Harry's out of the running.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 21, 2019)

SpookyFrank said:


> Has to be a genetically related host so Harry's out of the running.


Related through Diana, Diana of course had some royal blood


----------



## Proper Tidy (Dec 21, 2019)

Five more years of tories and philip I reckon


----------



## Wilf (Dec 21, 2019)

Proper Tidy said:


> Five more years of tories and philip I reckon


Maybe its like the ravens and the Tower of London. If he snuffs it, the hated johnson regime falls.


----------



## Proper Tidy (Dec 21, 2019)

Wilf said:


> Maybe its like the ravens and the Tower of London. If he snuffs it, the hated johnson regime falls.


Bring out the boney fish


----------



## Badgers (Dec 21, 2019)

Any news??


----------



## Ax^ (Dec 21, 2019)

the creaking gate last longest


----------



## extra dry (Dec 22, 2019)

What news? I am iching to throw reason for his black eyes, smashed eye socket and 3 teeth unacounted for.


----------



## Yossarian (Dec 24, 2019)

He's been released from hospital to spend Xmas with the family - he's probably planning to cling to life until after midnight on New Year's Eve, just to fuck with people's death pools.


----------



## Sprocket. (Dec 24, 2019)

Yes, Philip is out of hospital, Christmas is saved!


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 24, 2019)

Sprocket. said:


> Yes, Philip is out of hospital, Christmas is saved!



It's these mild winters. Not helping.


----------



## moochedit (Dec 25, 2019)

Currently trending on twitter again.


----------



## friedaweed (Dec 25, 2019)

He'll park it on boxing day. Probably on a family of plebians.


----------



## Dawn Crescendo (Dec 25, 2019)

The Grand Old Duke of York was at a shooting party last week and when he went down for breakfast in the hotel the other guests did not stand when he entered the room, enraged he shouted oh no no, lets try that again, walked out and returned with everyone standing up!


----------



## circleline (Jan 18, 2020)

The RAF causing delays at Heathrow is cited in circulating rumours of royal death, apparently..


----------



## cyril_smear (Jan 18, 2020)

circleline said:


> The RAF causing delays at Heathrow is cited in circulating rumours of royal death, apparently..


 can't see anything online


----------



## spitfire (Jan 18, 2020)

cyril_smear said:


> can't see anything online



I just happened across this a couple of minutes ago.









						Heathrow arrivals halted by RAF during 'security incident'
					

Flights to airport paused briefly on Friday morning as RAF operation closed airspace




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## nogojones (Jan 18, 2020)

circleline said:


> The RAF causing delays at Heathrow is cited in circulating rumours of royal death, apparently..


Megan forget to buckle up?


----------



## Badgers (Mar 18, 2020)

Any news from the big house?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 18, 2020)

we need a sacrifice to appease the virus gods. phil is in the right place at the right time


----------



## cyril_smear (Mar 18, 2020)

There's a vicious rumour going around...


----------



## goldenecitrone (Mar 18, 2020)

Not going to be much of a funeral procession is it? 

RIP Phil.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 18, 2020)

spitfire said:


> I just happened across this a couple of minutes ago.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



2 months old bro'


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 18, 2020)

goldenecitrone said:


> Not going to be much of a funeral procession is it?
> 
> RIP Phil.


It'll still be more than he deserves


----------



## brogdale (Mar 18, 2020)

Pickman's model said:


> It'll still be more than he deserves


Slanty-eyed virus getting the fucker; sweet.


----------



## Celyn (Mar 18, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> 2 months old bro'


But so was spitfire's post.


----------



## belboid (Mar 18, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> 2 months old bro'


that is when he posted it, to be fair


----------



## not-bono-ever (Mar 18, 2020)

fucking hell....so it was

sorry for being facetious everyone


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 18, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> fucking hell....so it was
> 
> sorry for being facetious everyone


You've provided some much needed light relief


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Mar 18, 2020)

A wise fellow- indeed, in 1986 didn't he warn British students to leave China before they all got coronovirus? Perhaps I've misremembered...


----------



## spitfire (Mar 18, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> 2 months old bro'



That's why I posted it in January.


----------



## spitfire (Mar 18, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> fucking hell....so it was
> 
> sorry for being facetious everyone



Oh right, things moved on. lol.


----------



## tim (Mar 18, 2020)

not-bono-ever said:


> we need a sacrifice to appease the virus gods. phil is in the right place at the right time



Yes, ready to serve as the torch bearing  Chief-Priest, all we need are  the sacrificial rams, ewes and lambs to fill the Wicker Man.


----------



## Pickman's model (Mar 18, 2020)

tim said:


> Yes, ready to serve as the torch bearing  Chief-Priest, all we need are  the sacrificial rams, ewes and lambs to fill the Wicker Man.


They'd give a wicker man indigestion


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 18, 2020)

brogdale said:


> Slanty-eyed virus getting the fucker; sweet.



If the old cunt carks it off this lurgy Ed needs to close the boards. Cos that post won’t ever be beat.


----------



## TopCat (Mar 18, 2020)

He is the man in the bubble. 
Not long now.


----------



## moochedit (Mar 18, 2020)

Is this off twitter again?


----------



## Ax^ (Mar 18, 2020)

is he not just isolating due to the virus

he is 95


----------



## ruffneck23 (Mar 18, 2020)

Prince Philip Death Hoax Spreads After Infamous Quote Comes to Light
					

Prince Philip was rumored to be dead following a Twitter hoax that spread on March 18. The hoax was related to a quote that the prince had made about reincarnation.




					heavy.com


----------



## two sheds (Mar 18, 2020)

tim said:


> Yes, ready to serve as the torch bearing  Chief-Priest, all we need are  the sacrificial rams, ewes and lambs to fill the Wicker Man.


----------



## TopCat (Feb 17, 2021)

Nearly there


----------



## not a trot (Feb 17, 2021)

TopCat said:


> Nearly there



Is that what he said to Queenie last night. No wonder the cunts in hospital.


----------



## Argonia (Feb 17, 2021)

Johnson's prayers are with him.

He's doomed.


----------



## tim (Feb 17, 2021)

Live filming of hospital front door her accompanied by conspiraloon commentary.


----------



## Wilf (Feb 17, 2021)

Looks like a pair of undertakers chatting in the doorway.


----------



## tim (Feb 17, 2021)

not a trot said:


> Is that what he said to Queenie last night. No wonder the cunts in hospital.



He's there because he bit a corgi and she doesn't want him in the Royal Apartments any more


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 17, 2021)

Argonia said:


> Johnson's prayers are with him.
> 
> He's doomed.


It's when he has Johnson's "full support" that we know he's doomed.


----------



## stavros (Feb 17, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> It's when he has Johnson's "full support" that we know he's doomed.



It'll be Symonds who decides whether to switch the machine off or not.


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 17, 2021)

stavros said:


> It'll be Symonds who decides whether to switch the machine off or not.


I don’t really understand this meme.


----------



## stavros (Feb 17, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> I don’t really understand this meme.



She's allegedly got Johnson on a leash, and it was her who supposedly pulled the plug on Cummings' time in Downing Street.


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 17, 2021)

stavros said:


> She's allegedly got Johnson on a leash, and it was her who supposedly pulled the plug on Cummings' time in Downing Street.


That’s the meme I’m referring to.


----------



## Chilli.s (Feb 17, 2021)

stavros said:


> She's allegedly got Johnson on a leash


Less pet piranha more smelly old english sheepdog


----------



## killer b (Feb 17, 2021)

Carrie Symonds does not have Boris Johnson 'on a leash'. It's a rumour with more than a little stench of misogyny about it, and it's source is the people around Cummings & Cain, who are not the kind of sources I'd find trustworthy on this. or anything.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 17, 2021)

stavros said:


> She's allegedly got Johnson on a leash, and it was her who supposedly pulled the plug on Cummings' time in Downing Street.


If she was in charge the country would be better run. But then again you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who'd run the country worse than johnson


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 17, 2021)

Pickman's model said:


> If she was in charge the country would be better run. But then again you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who'd run the country worse than johnson


That’s not fair. Starmer is willing to try.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 17, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> That’s not fair. Starmer is willing to try.


He's not willing to try very hard


----------



## TopCat (Feb 17, 2021)

Will he last the night? Maybe not. I hope not.


----------



## Pickman's model (Feb 17, 2021)

TopCat said:


> Will he last the night? Maybe not. I hope not.


I wonder how much of the day he needs to survive to incur daily charges


----------



## brogdale (Feb 17, 2021)

I see, like Brexshite, that the Greek has two concurrent, popular and competing threads.


----------



## killer b (Feb 17, 2021)

Therell probably be another if he actually carks it.


----------



## moochedit (Feb 17, 2021)

* drums fingers *


----------



## TopCat (Feb 17, 2021)

435am. I bet a fiver.


----------



## danny la rouge (Feb 17, 2021)

brogdale said:


> I see, like Brexshite, that the Greek has two concurrent, popular and competing threads.


Merge!


----------



## not-bono-ever (Feb 17, 2021)

I cant wait to get to bed so I can start mourning nice and early


----------



## TopCat (Feb 17, 2021)

It will unite the country.


----------



## brogdale (Feb 17, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> Merge!


Show of hands needed?


----------



## brogdale (Feb 17, 2021)

It's not the mumbling Julie Etchasketchingham, but Nina is wearing black...just in case?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Feb 18, 2021)

Has operation forth bridge started yet ?


----------



## Sue (Feb 18, 2021)

HOW MANY ANCIENT THREADS DO YOU LOT NEED TO DIG UP? (in the style of Prince Philip or so I'd hoped.  )


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 19, 2021)

Thimble Queen said:


> Hurry up, Phil.


----------



## PR1Berske (Feb 27, 2021)

not-bono-ever said:


> Has operation forth bridge started yet ?



Unlike Liz's Operation London Bridge, I think much of Phil's is unknown. If he also instructs radio stations to play sadder songs for a bit while "doctors aid His Royal Highness in his rest" I suppose we'll find out. Unless you're listening to Smooth FM, in which case you can't get much sadder, in any meaning.


----------



## platinumsage (Feb 27, 2021)

I imagine it would be engraved with some tedious message, much like this one belonging to Charles:


----------

