# Those morons on BBC Breakfast News.



## danny la rouge (May 5, 2012)

The BBC obviously tries very, very hard to find such vacuous people to dribble banal idiocy with such assurance and certainty. 

Here's Charlie Stayt and Louise Minchin.  Have a good look at them:







I turned on this morning to catch the last of the election results.  But was treated to this pair.  Here's what they actually said.  This is a true and accurate report.

The one on the left said: "Owls don't have legs, do they?"  The one on the right replied: "Not in my world". 

What can I say?


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## Pickman's model (May 5, 2012)

You can say "do you have any last words" before you pull the lever to the trapdoor beneath their feet


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## Firky (May 5, 2012)

They're awful, plastic smiles and far too happy for the AM. And he's always copping a sly look at her tits.


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## skyscraper101 (May 5, 2012)

Those two are twats.

I only tune in for this woman.


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## EastEnder (May 5, 2012)

He's better than Bill Turnbull, Breakfast's faux avuncular bumbling twat.

She's not a patch on the eminently more shaggable Susanna Reid.


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## skyscraper101 (May 5, 2012)

Bill Turnbull is like the worlds most uncool dad.


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## EastEnder (May 5, 2012)

skyscraper101 said:


> Bill Turnbull is like the worlds most uncool dad.


I want to urinate on his smouldering, eviscerated corpse.


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## Captain Hurrah (May 5, 2012)

He's a bellend.


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## skyscraper101 (May 5, 2012)

That mumsy scottish woman who does the weather and talks to the viewers like we're 5 year olds can fuck off and all.


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## EastEnder (May 5, 2012)

skyscraper101 said:


> That mumsy scottish woman who does the weather and talks to the viewers like we're 5 year olds can fuck off and all.


She's the Bill Turnbull of the female world.


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## bi0boy (May 5, 2012)

BBC Breakfast, which is also broadcast on the BBC News channel, makes me desire a massive and dreadful disaster to afflict this country at about 6am one day, just so I can watch the two presenters flounder in their own inadequacy.


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## Geri (May 5, 2012)

It's not the same since Sian left.


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## Badgers (May 5, 2012)

I find never watching it helps. Everyone probably has their own coping mechanism though.


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## camouflage (May 5, 2012)

I only watch RT and Al Jazeera now.


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## _angel_ (May 5, 2012)

I don't know if it was breakfast but it was BBC where they said "it's hard to remember that plants are actually living things" in regards to water shortages and their implications. I mean


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## southside (May 5, 2012)

This lot are slightly better that Fiona Philips, what a fucking div.  Except Bill Turnbull cos he's an annoying cunt, but the others are bearable.


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## QueenOfGoths (May 5, 2012)

I like Susanna but the others can fuck off!


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## Voley (May 5, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> "Owls don't have legs, do they?" The one on the right replied: "Not in my world".


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## danny la rouge (May 5, 2012)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I like Susanna but the others can fuck off!


I fancy Susanna, but she's just as dim and vacuous as the others.


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## danny la rouge (May 5, 2012)

NVP said:


>


Great, isn't it?  "Not in my world".  Yes.  That says it all.


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## EastEnder (May 5, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> I fancy Susanna, but she's just as dim and vacuous as the others.


Yes, but as a man my capacity for overlooking personality flaws in a fit bird is practically boundless.


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## zoooo (May 5, 2012)

So is your complaint that they are thick, or that they aren't fanciable enough?


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## littlebabyjesus (May 5, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> Great, isn't it? "Not in my world". Yes. That says it all.


Reminds me of an editor I worked with a while ago on a kids' natural history book. 'Humans have the same number of hairs on their bodies as chimpanzees' was a line she questioned. 'Please correct this mistake,' she said. 'But it's true - humans have the same number of hairs as chimps,' I replied. 'Well I certainly don't!' she wrote back.


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## danny la rouge (May 5, 2012)

zoooo said:


> So is your complaint that they are thick, or that they aren't fanciable enough?


Is that @ me? My complaint is that they're all insipid dullards who warble drivel. As per my OP. In response to QoG, I noted that I find Susanna physically attractive, but she is as much a vapid imbecile as her colleagues.


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## FridgeMagnet (May 5, 2012)

You're not trying to claim that owls have legs, now, are you?


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## purenarcotic (May 5, 2012)

Awful show.  Sometimes I watch it weekday mornings and I want to throw things at the telly and yell SOME OF US ARE NOT MORONS, YOU KNOW. WE HAVE WORKING BRAINS AND EVERYTHING.

Loads of BBC shows are heading that way.  Horizon used to be great, I remember it used to look at some pretty complicated topics, now it's all vacuous drivel about our shopping baskets and everything explained to us like we're about three and don't know anything about anything.


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## littlebabyjesus (May 5, 2012)

purenarcotic said:


> Horizon used to be great, I remember it used to look at some pretty complicated topics, now it's all vacuous drivel about our shopping baskets and everything explained to us like we're about three and don't know anything about anything.


Yep. I agree totally. They always seem to try to force a narrative onto it too, and say right at the end what they should have said right at the beginning.


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## El Jugador (May 5, 2012)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Reminds me of an editor I worked with a while ago on a kids' natural history book. 'Humans have the same number of hairs on their bodies as chimpanzees' was a line she questioned. 'Please correct this mistake,' she said. 'But it's true - humans have the same number of hairs as chimps,' I replied. 'Well I certainly don't!' she wrote back.


She probably also thinks her husband has more muscles than her son.

The monstrous psychopathic synthetic cringing anodyne vapidity of the presenters in breakfast news (and also the WWWWWWOonne show) makes me just want to tear heads off things or simply give-up and die. I think it's meant to have that effect, to punish the poorly-motivated to end it all or get-out the door.

It never affected me so before, but something about television now just makes me morbidly depressed or otherwise wish some terrible catastrophe to befall the human race. Strangely the internet does the opposite, even though it holds greater horrors, and gives me hope for the soul, wit and future of humanity. Fancy that.


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## likesfish (May 5, 2012)

they get up at 4am or something stupid everyday.
   thats going to turn your brain to mush fairly quikly.
 face it if you start off to be a tv presentor you havent got a lot of brains to start with.


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## Firky (May 5, 2012)

skyscraper101 said:


> Those two are twats.
> 
> I only tune in for this woman.


 
She has a degree in philosophy and a masters in politics IIRC.  A friend of a friend was in the same class as her.

Clever and good looking but still stupid enough to get up at 3am to present BBC Breakfast.


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## Firky (May 5, 2012)

likesfish said:


> face it if you start off to be a tv presentor you havent got a lot of brains to start with.


 
See my post, oh and there's that Doctor on that Coast series. I think she's an anthropologist or something, she's one of the few people who can make an anorak look peng.


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## Firky (May 5, 2012)

Oh god, I have derailed this into a phwoar thread and inadvertently started googling pics of Liz Bonin.


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## Firky (May 5, 2012)

bonin fnar fnar


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## Geri (May 5, 2012)

purenarcotic said:


> now it's all vacuous drivel about our shopping baskets and everything explained to us like we're about three and don't know anything about anything.


 
That reminds me of something Bill Turnbull said a few weeks ago. They were talking about an increase of 20% in something - can't remember what - and he turned to the camera and said "that's a fifth!"


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## DotCommunist (May 5, 2012)

I'd rather listen to Angela Merkel play the imperial march from a kazoo stuffed up her arse than watch breakfast beeb.

It's a recipe for instant rage


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## Geri (May 5, 2012)

To be fair, it is less annoying than anything else on at the same time. GMTV is ten times worse.


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## avu9lives (May 5, 2012)

not as bad as wakin up ta sky! forget about the news guys look at these birds dressed like tarts. in tight dresses complete wiv shiny legs..... wouldn't suprise me if eamon holmes turned up one mornin in full drag.. ffs


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## DotCommunist (May 5, 2012)

If they've still go that John Stape(lton) stick thin tory ranter on GMTV then they should be firebombed and the ground salted afterwards.


He turned up on a beeb docu about the brixton riots, oozing disbelief in the footage where he spoke to people on the ground. Then as a talking head admitting he might have been wrong.

The man is a huge gaping shitpipe.

And Lorraine Kelly is also a horrible woman, her softy mumsy sun column toryism is shit.


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## EastEnder (May 5, 2012)

Geri said:


> To be fair, it is less annoying than anything else on at the same time. GMTV is ten times worse.


I'm sorry, _ten_ times worse????

You seriously think Lorraine Kelly is _only_ _ten_ times worse??!!!????!! 

That woman isn't fit to be used as cattle feed.


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## not-bono-ever (May 5, 2012)

firky said:


> She has a degree in philosophy and a masters in politics IIRC. A friend of a friend was in the same class as her.
> 
> Clever and good looking but still stupid enough to get up at 3am to present BBC Breakfast.


 

smart enough to rake in 250K a year


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## Vintage Paw (May 5, 2012)

Maxine Mawhinney should present more. She always gets Sundays and Christmas day. I like her.


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## London_Calling (May 5, 2012)

It's tabloid infotainment, that's the tv market at that time of the day. Well, that and programming for small kids.

Why watch shit that's supposed to be shit.


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## stethoscope (May 5, 2012)

Can't bear to watch any of them - Beeb breakfast, GMTV... the inane chat, the smugness, some business leader moaning about pre-tax profits, it really grates. Would improve with a decent rendition of The Internationale in the mornings to get me roused up enough before jumping on the Jubilee Line to work.


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## madzone (May 5, 2012)

CBeebies is what I watch. I get everything I need to know for the rest of the day.


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## Firky (May 5, 2012)




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## Firky (May 5, 2012)

If Rachel Khoo ever makes an apperance as a 'serious' presenter, am going to gouge her throat out and show her her larynx.


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## Vintage Paw (May 5, 2012)

I detest Sian with every fibre of my being.

But Bill keeps bees. I can't hate him for that.

I do have a rather soft spot for Daniel Corbett, the awesome weather guy.


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## FridgeMagnet (May 5, 2012)

I think the idea is that it gets you out of the house and to work, as it isn't tempting to stay watching it in the slightest.


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## twentythreedom (May 5, 2012)

I always end up watching The Hoobs. The BBC should syndicate Hoob News!


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## skyscraper101 (May 5, 2012)

The thing that pisses me off above all other things, is BBC Breakfast inviting whichever Strictly, or Apprentice loser from the latest show to come and chat on the couch and interspersing it with the finance and sport like it's 'news' - its just free promo for BBC entertainment shows.

Also, the local news presenters on BBC London are all wooden as fuck. Especially that Asad Ahmad. And they employ someone specifically to do the travel news, but the traffic cams are always showing the wrong picture or don't even work  They should take a look at the LA local news. Sexy and sleek presenters, traffic cams all working, animated freeway congestion points, chopper in the sky. _That's_ how you do morning news.


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## zoooo (May 5, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> Is that @ me? My complaint is that they're all insipid dullards who warble drivel. As per my OP. In response to QoG, I noted that I find Susanna physically attractive, but she is as much a vapid imbecile as her colleagues.


Oh sorry, not you specifically, just asking the thread in general.
The thrust of the thread seemed to be that they were patronising twats, but also that that was forgiveable only if the presenters were attractive enough.
Or something. I dunno.


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## quimcunx (May 5, 2012)

I'm missing Sian.  

I flick between that and channel 4.  I don't want to be overly stimulated in the morning but I'm not actually interested in anyone they have on or what they have to say.   However channel 4 has adverts. 

It's not a news programme, though. It's a 'magazine' format programme with news integrated into it.


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## not-bono-ever (May 5, 2012)

its got to the point in the morning, that if I have a 20 minute window to piss about, get dressed etc, I go to Sky news, cos theres a pretty fucking high likelyhood that I am not going to see any news on BBC breakfast in that 20 mins.


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## skyscraper101 (May 5, 2012)

Is it still Eamon Holmes on Sky News in the morning? Last time I checked he had about three women flanking him on a couch delivering and discussing bits of the news like some kind of weird hareem.


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## London_Calling (May 5, 2012)

Someone should invent Radio 4 in the mornings.


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## skyscraper101 (May 5, 2012)

I wish they would have something like the Big Breakfast again. Even though the presenters were nearly all twats, they did have bands on and stuff. It was at least a proper alternative to the other shows.


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## zoooo (May 5, 2012)

Zig and Zag are still available!
I saw them on something recently...


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## purenarcotic (May 5, 2012)

Geri said:


> That reminds me of something Bill Turnbull said a few weeks ago. They were talking about an increase of 20% in something - can't remember what - and he turned to the camera and said "that's a fifth!"


 
Is it really?!  However did they work that out!  Those clever people at the BBC! 

Makes you despair, doesn't it.


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## El Jugador (May 5, 2012)

Geri said:


> 20% in something - can't remember what


That was the whole purpose as well, to mindfuck you from remembering what the news was about, so that it makes no impression in our brians: (Remember the increase? Remember the something? No! Remember the fifth!)


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## DotCommunist (May 5, 2012)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I think the idea is that it gets you out of the house and to work, as it isn't tempting to stay watching it in the slightest.


 

I've long entertained the idea that daytime tv is so shit because they want to punish the unemployed and the stay at home child rearers. But it is just down to the fact that they don't get to sell advertising space at premium dduring the day so any old shite gets aired.

Dunno what the beebs excuse is tho. Cash in the fucking attic. Go round an upper middle class persons house and miraculously find loads of stuff worth money. Try that in my house and they would find two pounds fifty worth of tat.


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## Vintage Paw (May 5, 2012)

Cash in the Attic is blates just an excuse for old folk to brag to their mates about what awesome lives they've led and what great stuff they've accumulated, without being so overt as to actually tell them about it in a grandiose manner. I mean seriously, these are people with pretty decent houses and a pretty decent amount of stuff, and they get a programme round to help them find an extra £200 for a holiday? Come off it.


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## iona (May 5, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> I always end up watching The Hoobs. The BBC should syndicate Hoob News!


 
Cheers 23, I've just introduced tar to the hoobs  About the only shit I miss from not having a tv.


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## Crispy (May 5, 2012)

BURN YOUR TELEVISION


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## QueenOfGoths (May 5, 2012)

Vintage Paw said:


> Cash in the Attic is blates just an excuse for old folk to brag to their mates about what awesome lives they've led and what great stuff they've accumulated, without being so overt as to actually tell them about it in a grandiose manner. I mean seriously, these are people with pretty decent houses and a pretty decent amount of stuff, and they get a programme round to help them find an extra £200 for a holiday? Come off it.


 
Plus it just makes me angry with my parents who don't seem to have _anything_ of interest in their attic. Honestly!


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## twentythreedom (May 5, 2012)

When The Hoobs is over I usually crash out for a bit then wake up again after the Rt Hon Jeremy of Kyle has started.

"Shut up! I wanna talk. It's called THE JEREMY KYLE SHOW! That's my name, not yours, you skanky chav arsewipe! Do you wanna know if you're the father of that beautiful baby?? Turn round and LOOK AT IT!!" etc etc

2 mins of lols at chavs then back to sleep for a bit until Holly and Her Amazing Jugs are on. Then a doze, see that Loose Women is on, turn the telly off, set alarm for 1pm for the news on BBC1 and a cuppa


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## machine cat (May 5, 2012)

Only watch Cbeebies in the mornings.


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## twentythreedom (May 5, 2012)

Cbeebies + cider


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## machine cat (May 5, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> Cbeebies + cider


 
Well it's my son who watches it as I get ready for work. I have on occasion had a cider at that time but try not to make a habit of it on weekdays.


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## London_Calling (May 5, 2012)

Crispy said:


> BURN YOUR TELEVISION


That's so pre-HBO (as a provider of drama)


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## Mr Smin (May 6, 2012)

skyscraper101 said:


> That mumsy scottish woman who does the weather and talks to the viewers like we're 5 year olds can fuck off and all.


For all we know, 5 year olds are the the key demographic for the show.

Regarding brain damage from getting up early to present the show, this doesn't seem to be a problem for Today presenters on Radio 4.


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## Captain Hurrah (May 6, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> I've long entertained the idea that daytime tv is so shit because they want to punish the unemployed and the stay at home child rearers.


 
Dole doss telly back in the day involved Dick Van Dyke on roller skates.


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## Johnny Vodka (May 6, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> And Lorraine Kelly is also a horrible woman, her softy mumsy sun column toryism is shit.


 
You still would, though.


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## Spanky Longhorn (May 6, 2012)

Serious question - why don't you just listen to the Today programme?


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## Spanky Longhorn (May 6, 2012)

Captain Hurrah said:


> Dole doss telly back in the day involved Dick Van Dyke on roller skates.


 
Fantastic telly, do you remember the halloween special which had an actual vampire in it? No one believes me about that but I know I didn't imagine it.


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## Captain Hurrah (May 6, 2012)

I haven't seen that one, no.  

Don't tell me Van Dyke stakes him.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)




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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

Spanky Longhorn said:


> Serious question - why don't you just listen to the Today programme?


Me?

I don't like the Today programme.  It's worse than Breakfast because it pretends it isn't.


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## London_Calling (May 6, 2012)

Today _pretends_ it's better than Breakfast tv for election results?


danny la rouge said:


> I turned on this morning to catch the last of the election results.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

The BBC radio show, _Today_ pretends to be better than the BBC tv show, _Breakfast_.  It pretends to have insight and depth, but doesn't.


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## Voley (May 6, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


>


Not in _my_ world.


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## baldrick (May 6, 2012)

If you can stand Bill Bryson, you might find this amusing.

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...ng-to-dumb-down-the-american-way-1186816.html


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

baldrick said:


> If you can stand Bill Bryson, you might find this amusing.
> 
> http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...ng-to-dumb-down-the-american-way-1186816.html


I can stand him.  Can people not stand him?  I know he's a conservative, and makes things up.  But I find him amusing.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

I did find it amusing.  Thanks.


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## baldrick (May 6, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> I can stand him. Can people not stand him? I know he's a conservative, and makes things up. But I find him amusing.


i find him very funny.  but i have on occasion said to people "have you read that bill bryson book" or similar and i get "ugh, _bill bryson" _ in response 

so i was playing safe


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

I've never had that reaction. Oh well, we're all different.


(I didn't mean to call him _a_ conservative.  I think he's actually a Democrat.  I meant to call him conservative).


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## Voley (May 6, 2012)

A lot of people think he tries too hard. I've laughed at his stuff, though. I like his approach to travel writing - turn up, have a few beers, go out for a meal, laugh at the total absurdity of everything. Works for me.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

I also very much liked his science book.  I think everyone should read it.  Not proper science geeks, perhaps.  But people who think science isn't for them.


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## Voley (May 6, 2012)

I forget which one it was (possibly 'The Lost Continent') where he was moaning about a load of old people getting in his way at some attraction or other and his payoff line was 'They would all soon be dead, though, I concluded.' Something along those lines anyhow. Cheap digs like that are fine by me.


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## Voley (May 6, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> I also very much liked his science book. I think everyone should read it. Not proper science geeks, perhaps. But people who think science isn't for them.


That was pretty much designed for me, that book.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

> I forget which one it was (possibly 'The Lost Continent') where he was moaning about a load of old people getting in his way at some attraction or other and his payoff line was 'They would all soon be dead, though, I concluded.' Something along those lines anyhow. Cheap digs like that are fine by me.


 
But if you don't like that gag, there'll be another one along in a minute.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

btw, can we get back to moaning about stupidity on the BBC?


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## Voley (May 6, 2012)

baldrick said:


> If you can stand Bill Bryson, you might find this amusing.
> 
> http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...ng-to-dumb-down-the-american-way-1186816.html


I think I've read a variation of that article before. Except in the one I read he quoted a survey that asked women whether they put their tights on over or under their knickers. 40% (or something) ticked 'Don't Know' much to his amusement.


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## sleaterkinney (May 6, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> I also very much liked his science book. I think everyone should read it. Not proper science geeks, perhaps. But people who think science isn't for them.


Someone got that for me because I'm interested in science - so let's get him a science book!. I hate him, he's the master of stating the obvious and looking backwards with rose-tinted glasses, there's a large crossover between people who like him and people who distribute those "Count yourself lucky" emails.

BBC Breakfast hasn't been the same since Jeremy Bowen and Sophie Raworth. The chemistry is really forced sometimes.


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## baldrick (May 6, 2012)

NVP said:


> I think I've read a variation of that article before. Except in the one I read he quoted a survey that asked women whether they put their tights on over or under their knickers. 40% (or something) ticked 'Don't Know' much to his amusement.


there's a very funny article from the same series about accidents in the home, culled from some worthy government report on statistics. i cried with laughter at that one.  

sorry dlr


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## DotCommunist (May 6, 2012)

Bryson is a dick. So is garrison kiellor. Americans.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

NVP said:


> I think I've read a variation of that article before. Except in the one I read he quoted a survey that asked women whether they put their tights on over or under their knickers. 40% (or something) ticked 'Don't Know' much to his amusement.


See, I can understand that. I do YouGov polls.  Sometimes you want to answer something that isn't there, and your only option is "don't know".  I'm not a tight wearer myself, but perhaps it depends on ones outfit, or something like that.


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> Bryson is a dick. So is garrison kiellor. Americans.


There's your answer.  People who like sci fi comic books don't like Bill Bryson.


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## DotCommunist (May 6, 2012)

*bumbling anglophile anecdote about hilarious confusion in a british hardware shop wrt screws*

*his wifes reaction*

whimsy


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## danny la rouge (May 6, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> whimsy


  While The Hobbit is...?


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## Firky (May 6, 2012)

baldrick said:


> If you can stand Bill Bryson, you might find this amusing.
> 
> http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...ng-to-dumb-down-the-american-way-1186816.html


 
Read articles like that before. I don't know if to be amused of saddened.

It isn't just restricted to America, however.

Anyway, Bryson looks like a geography teacher before anyone could teach.


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## Captain Hurrah (May 6, 2012)

Annoying twat.


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## baldrick (May 6, 2012)

these responses are _exactly _what i meant when i said this 



baldrick said:


> i find him very funny. but i have on occasion said to people "have you read that bill bryson book" or similar and i get "ugh, _bill bryson" _ in response


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## Gingerman (May 6, 2012)

Oh for the days when some bloke just read out the news,no fucking small talk,no banter,no trying to be funny


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## not-bono-ever (May 6, 2012)

sleaterkinney said:


> Someone got that for me because I'm interested in science - so let's get him a science book!. I hate him, he's the master of stating the obvious and looking backwards with rose-tinted glasses, there's a large crossover between people who like him and people who distribute those "Count yourself lucky" emails.
> 
> *BBC Breakfast hasn't been the same since Jeremy Bowen and Sophie Raworth. The chemistry is really forced sometimes.*


 
JB is s top SE London Chap & a proper reporter to boot, unlike the other fuckpigs who "present" the Brekfast show. He still  rides around the manor in a beat up old toyota landcruiser that looks likes it been confiscated from the Taliban.


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## Johnny Vodka (May 6, 2012)

Catriona Shearer on the BBC Scottish news in the morning is well sweeeeeet.


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## quimcunx (May 6, 2012)

One might conclude from this thread that BBC Breakfast's viewers would be better served if the presenters were replace by Bill Bryson. However, in my experience, enjoying his writing does not translate to enjoying his television appearances in which I have found him monotone and lacklustre.





NVP said:


> I think I've read a variation of that article before. Except in the one I read he quoted a survey that asked women whether they put their tights on over or under their knickers. 40% (or something) ticked 'Don't Know' much to his amusement.


 

That article is from 1998 so you have probably read it before.


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## danny la rouge (May 7, 2012)

Johnny Vodka said:


> Catriona Shearer on the BBC Scottish news in the morning is well sweeeeeet.


That's another thing.  The Today programme doesn't have "news and weather where you are".  This is the best bit.  You don't get Catriona giving inaccurate opinions on owls.


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## temper_tantrum (May 7, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> Bryson is a dick. So is garrison kiellor. Americans.



I'm glad to find someone else who dislikes Garrison Keillor. If his books were a colour, they'd be beige.


Edit: and if breakfast tv had a colour, it would be plasticky-hospital-ward-vomit-pink/puce.


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## _angel_ (May 11, 2012)

They outdid themselves attempting to interview Morten Harket this morning. "So you were from Norway" 
Morten was quite funny refusing to cooperate in the interview. It was a masterclass in how not to do it.


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## nino_savatte (May 11, 2012)

EastEnder said:


> She's the Bill Turnbull of the female world.


She's also a scab. Fucking detest Carol Kirkwood.


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## nino_savatte (May 11, 2012)

Crispy said:


> BURN YOUR TELEVISION


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## xenon (May 11, 2012)

Spanky Longhorn said:


> Serious question - why don't you just listen to the Today programme?



Evan Davis and Robert Paston, Pasten, whatever, irritate me. So much so, I sometimes have to turn over to Nick Ferari on LBC. Or there's Nicky Campbell and whatsname on 5 live but TBH it's all pretty horrific. It's the morning afterall...

When I was on the dole, before I had internet the only day time TV I watched was Quincy and the quiz's. Everything else was too rage inducing.


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## purenarcotic (May 11, 2012)

_angel_ said:


> They outdid themselves attempting to interview Morten Harket this morning. "So you were from Norway"
> Morten was quite funny refusing to cooperate in the interview. It was a masterclass in how not to do it.


 
Hah, I saw that this morning.  It was genius, the presenters looked so awkward.


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## Johnny Vodka (May 11, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> That's another thing. The Today programme doesn't have "news and weather where you are". This is the best bit. You don't get Catriona giving inaccurate opinions on owls.


 
Who cares about her opinion on owls?


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## EastEnder (May 11, 2012)

Johnny Vodka said:


> Who cares about her opinion on owls?


Owls.


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## Johnny Vodka (May 11, 2012)

Hooters


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## spartacus mills (May 13, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


>


Photo-shopped!


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## frogwoman (May 13, 2012)

the today programme is basically a middle class version of gmtv.


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## DotCommunist (May 13, 2012)

xenon said:


> Evan Davis and Robert Paston, Pasten, whatever, irritate me. So much so, I sometimes have to turn over to Nick Ferari on LBC. Or there's Nicky Campbell and whatsname on 5 live but TBH it's all pretty horrific. It's the morning afterall...
> 
> When I was on the dole, before I had internet the only day time TV I watched was Quincy and the quiz's. Everything else was too rage inducing.


 

I miss 15 to 1 and its quality prices like ancient mycean pottery  an it was a proper quiz, none of these chaser/weakest link gimmeckery. 3 lives, hard questions. sort it out


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## xenon (May 13, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> I miss 15 to 1 and its quality prices like ancient mycean pottery  an it was a proper quiz, none of these chaser/weakest link gimmeckery. 3 lives, hard questions. sort it out



Word.

And I even got some of them right. I was shit at Count Down TBF though. Then to recover and make yourself feel superior you could watch 100% on Channel 5. Then of course you're into the home run. Pretending not to watch Neighbours / Home & Away, on to Simpsons and or the Star Trek / Voyager and you've done it.


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## Captain Hurrah (May 13, 2012)

frogwoman said:


> the today programme is basically a middle class version of gmtv.


 
lol.


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## DotCommunist (May 13, 2012)

Virgin medias star trek afternoons (tng, voyager, ds9) were largely responsible for my worklessness circa 2009

That and my massive laziness obvs


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## rollinder (May 20, 2012)

Spanky Longhorn said:


> Fantastic telly, do you remember the halloween special which had an actual vampire in it? No one believes me about that but I know I didn't imagine it.


 

probably from series two



			
				amazon review said:
			
		

> The episode about vampires will certainly appeal to fans of Bram Stoker & Arthur Conan-Doyle - it is one of the darker , sombre and more powerful installments of season two.


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## frogwoman (May 29, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> The BBC obviously tries very, very hard to find such vacuous people to dribble banal idiocy with such assurance and certainty.
> 
> Here's Charlie Stayt and Louise Minchin. Have a good look at them:
> 
> ...


 
How the fuck did I miss this


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## frogwoman (May 29, 2012)

what do they think owls have then


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## danny la rouge (May 29, 2012)

frogwoman said:


> what do they think owls have then


Your mistake is in the fourth word.


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## ViolentPanda (May 29, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> If they've still go that John Stape(lton) stick thin tory ranter on GMTV then they should be firebombed and the ground salted afterwards.
> 
> 
> He turned up on a beeb docu about the brixton riots, oozing disbelief in the footage where he spoke to people on the ground. Then as a talking head admitting he might have been wrong.
> ...


 
Stapleton is a total wanker, but that could be what happens to any man who's married to Lynn Faulds-Woods, old mrs. "potential death trap" as we used to call her when she did "Watchdog".

Still, he was a right tosser when he used to alternate with Kilroy on "The Time, The Place", too.


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## ViolentPanda (May 29, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> There's your answer. People who like sci fi comic books don't like Bill Bryson.


 
Not true. I like both.


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## ViolentPanda (May 29, 2012)

Gingerman said:


> Oh for the days when some bloke just read out the news,no fucking small talk,no banter,no trying to be funny


 
*And* he did it with a proper accent, none of your regional nonsense!!


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## ViolentPanda (May 29, 2012)

frogwoman said:


> what do they think owls have then


 
Flippers.


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## danny la rouge (May 29, 2012)

ViolentPanda said:


> Not true. I like both.


A true Renaissance Man.


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## ViolentPanda (May 29, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> A true Renaissance Man.


 
This is true, due to my also having a fondness for poisoning family members.


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## danny la rouge (May 29, 2012)

I was thinking more akin to Bertand Russell than the Borgias.


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## krtek a houby (May 30, 2012)

ViolentPanda said:


> Not true. I like both.


Can I recommend this to you? Bertie is in it, the star, if you will...


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## ViolentPanda (May 30, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> I was thinking more akin to Bertand Russell than the Borgias.


 
Colour me disappointed. 

Oddly, I'm currently reading "Proposed Roads to Freedom", purely because of the charming naivety Bertrand displays.


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## bignose1 (Jul 9, 2012)

danny la rouge said:


> The BBC obviously tries very, very hard to find such vacuous people to dribble banal idiocy with such assurance and certainty.
> 
> Here's Charlie Stayt and Louise Minchin. Have a good look at them:
> 
> ...


 Stayt the obvious....and she wasnt minchin her words either....


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## Ponyutd (Jul 10, 2012)

The sports presenter has just said "We have a little bit of a Wimbledon champion coming up. No, not Andy."
I never realised he ever won Wimbledon.


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## danny la rouge (Jul 10, 2012)

I wonder which bit?


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## bmd (Jul 10, 2012)

Legs.


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## danny la rouge (Jul 10, 2012)

bmd said:


> Legs.




Not in my world.


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## youngian (Jul 10, 2012)

nino_savatte said:


> She's also a scab. Fucking detest Carol Kirkwood.


 
When TVam was faced a strike in the 80s it showed Batman instead and its audience figures rocketed.
The rump presenters invited Adam West to appear but he refused to cross the picket line. Bet you wouldn't get that level of solidarity from Christian Bale.


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## danny la rouge (Apr 29, 2015)




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## bi0boy (Apr 29, 2015)

I often get this notion it will be a good idea to watch the news while eating breakfast to keep myself abreast of the current goings on in the world.

I am then confronted by a twee Bill Turnbull making quips about some story out of Femail.


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## andysays (Apr 29, 2015)

danny la rouge said:


>



New other-worldly creature discovered in Antarctic. "It's like an owl, but with legs," say scientists


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## FridgeMagnet (Apr 29, 2015)

Clumsy photoshop job if you ask me. Look at the join between the "legs" and the owl, shadows are completely wrong.


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## danny la rouge (Apr 29, 2015)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Clumsy photoshop job if you ask me. Look at the join between the "legs" and the owl, shadows are completely wrong.


I saw a site explaining the shadows. It had arrows and everything.


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## FridgeMagnet (Apr 29, 2015)

danny la rouge said:


> I saw a site explaining the shadows. It had arrows and everything.


Well if you will go to these conspiracy websites you'll hear all sorts of stuff. I bet there was a page about how the Sparrow didn't shoot Cock Robin too.


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## Nine Bob Note (Apr 29, 2015)

I'm bored. And back in 2003.


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## rhod (May 12, 2015)

DotCommunist said:


> If they've still go that John Stape(lton) stick thin tory ranter on GMTV then they should be firebombed and the ground salted afterwards.



I was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt until his "war reporting" for GMTV from Iraq.

Well, not exactly Iraq, but a balcony in a swish hotel in Kuwait. Wore his little flak jacket on-screen during his daily reports for weeks/months, just to show what a heroic "war reporter" he was.


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## not-bono-ever (May 13, 2015)

I think BIll Turnbull is a bit of a boy beneath the cloying mugging he does with whoever is next to him. I bet he has skeletons in the cupboard

as an aside, I was chatting to that Jeremy Bowen some years ago when I was flogging agit prop in framing shop  ( he was getting a war spoils oil painting of Saddam framed up - well cool ) and asking what happend with his breakfast gig- effectively he couldnt hack it any more, was desperate to get back into the fray. Then he jumped into his 1990s battered toyota lancruiser , timberland booted the throttle and fucked off back to camberwell. 

I was well jel for the rest of the day


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## T & P (May 13, 2015)

bi0boy said:


> I often get this notion it will be a good idea to watch the news while eating breakfast to keep myself abreast of the current goings on in the world.
> 
> I am then confronted by a twee Bill Turnbull making quips about some story out of Femail.


About three years ago I made the decision to stop watching the breakfast news (or any other news for that matter) altogether, and watch SpongeBob Squarepants or Scooby Doo instead on the children's channels. I can honestly say it has improved the quality of my working day and my general mood to some remarkable degree.


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## Sirena (May 13, 2015)

not-bono-ever said:


> as an aside, I was chatting to that Jeremy Bowen some years ago when I was flogging agit prop in framing shop  ( he was getting a war spoils oil painting of Saddam framed up - well cool ) and asking what happend with his breakfast gig- effectively he couldnt hack it any more, was desperate to get back into the fray.



I remember Bowen presenting BBC Breakfast and, though I can't remember any specific examples, I remember finding him clumsy and rather stupid and always asking the wrong questions...


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## not-bono-ever (May 13, 2015)

I dont think it was his forte to be honest


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## Sirena (May 13, 2015)

not-bono-ever said:


> I dont think it was his forte to be honest


I'd just presumed he'd been sacked.....


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## not-bono-ever (May 13, 2015)

he had PTSD after earlier stuff in lebanon and took the Brekfast job when his kid was born- thence he couldnt help himslef but get involved again


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## skyscraper101 (May 14, 2015)

Just like a BBC version of the Hurt Locker.


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## danny la rouge (Apr 26, 2017)




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## redsquirrel (Apr 26, 2017)

Photoshop danny la rouge

The hand is clearly placed purposely to hide the joins


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## fucthest8 (Apr 26, 2017)

Best. Bump. Ever.


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## DaveCinzano (Apr 26, 2017)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 105281


I FUCKING KNEW IT


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## DaveCinzano (Apr 26, 2017)

danny la rouge said:


> View attachment 105281


“New from QVC: The *ExtendaOwl™* - for all your space-constricted strigine needs”


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## Idris2002 (Apr 26, 2017)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Reminds me of an editor I worked with a while ago on a kids' natural history book. 'Humans have the same number of hairs on their bodies as chimpanzees' was a line she questioned. 'Please correct this mistake,' she said. 'But it's true - humans have the same number of hairs as chimps,' I replied. 'Well I certainly don't!' she wrote back.


I hope you wrote back thusly: "yes, but you're not human".


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## bimble (Apr 26, 2017)

That picture confirms what i've always suspected, that my cat is part owl.


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## DaveCinzano (Apr 26, 2017)

redsquirrel said:


> Photoshop danny la rouge
> 
> The hand is clearly placed purposely to hide the johnson



CFY


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## iona (Apr 26, 2017)

DaveCinzano said:


> ... strigine ...



Ooh, new word!


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## danny la rouge (Apr 26, 2017)

iona said:


> Ooh, new word!


Great song by the Sonics (or the Cramps) by that name.


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## ska invita (Apr 26, 2017)

seems apt


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## danny la rouge (Oct 16, 2021)

danny la rouge said:


> The BBC obviously tries very, very hard to find such vacuous people to dribble banal idiocy with such assurance and certainty.
> 
> Here's Charlie Stayt and Louise Minchin.  Have a good look at them:
> 
> ...





Pixels.


----------

