# Decent misery memoirs? Or... autobiographies of difficult childhoods, followed by some kind of uplif



## mrs quoad (Sep 30, 2011)

Not sure what to call the genre apart from 'misery memoirs,' apologies for the pejorative! 

Artichoke recently read one, written by the ex-director of the Samaritans, and absolutely loved it.

Scarred: She Was A Slave to her Father, Pain was her Only Escape is the rather snappy title.

I think - IHO - the Samaritans link particularly piqued her interest (she's just started a counselling course); but looking at a fair few others in the series, it looks like they bring broad-brush similar life stories of difficulty followed by some kind of redemption, progress, or uplift.

I'd like to find something a bit similar, as it's her birthday coming up, and this area looks like it might be worth a punt. But as this is some way outside of my usual reading material, I'm kinda aware that I might be MASSIVELY wrong in failing to recognise subsets of the genre, particularly well-loved authors, particularly excellent texts, etc, etc.

Any suggestions / recommendations / pointers?


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## Belushi (Sep 30, 2011)

All the bookshops now have sections called thing like 'Dreadful lives' for misery porn.


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## mrs quoad (Sep 30, 2011)

Belushi said:


> All the bookshops now have sections called thing like 'Dreadful lives' for misery porn.


The covers and titles all look fairly similar, to an outside eye.

Which is why I was hoping that someone who's a bit more familiar with the genre might be able to offer some useful differentiation / guidance!

Otherwise, it's _complete_ hit-and-miss!


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## 5t3IIa (Sep 30, 2011)

I think something written by the ex director of the Samaritan's might have some useful insights in it. I believe that a lot of it is just, as mentioned, misery porn. Look!


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## past caring (Sep 30, 2011)

Belushi said:


> All the bookshops now have sections called thing like 'Dreadful lives' for misery porn.



Indeed. fair stomach turning I find it whenever I'm in Holborn WH Smiths.

Would highly recommend Wally Lamb's "I know this much is true" going by your post. It is a novel and I've no idea how much is based on his own experience (does it really matter?) but it ticks the right boxes.


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## weepiper (Sep 30, 2011)

I'm not generally a fan of the genre but these are very good - I've only read the first two but there's plenty of stories of people surviving terrible backgrounds in there.


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## Stash (Sep 30, 2011)

Mrs Stash has read loads of these; I'll ask her later.


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## 5t3IIa (Sep 30, 2011)

What about the AA chappy? That's quite a story, isn't it? Or is that not what you meant?


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## mrs quoad (Sep 30, 2011)

5t3IIa said:


> I think something written by the ex director of the Samaritan's might have some useful insights in it. I believe that a lot of it is just, as mentioned, misery porn. Look!


Yeah. tbh, what's surprised me is that it looks as if it's published by the same publishers who publish a wealth of similar books. Many with extremely similar-sounding titles and synopses.

Which is what got me wondering whether it's something that fits quite well with the rest of the genre's canon, IYSWIM. Rather than being something completely different.



past caring said:


> Would highly recommend Wally Lamb's "I know this much is true" going by your post. It is a novel and I've no idea how much is based on his own experience (does it really matter?) but it ticks the right boxes.


ty; for marginally complicated reasons, yes - own experience does matter in this instance!



weepiper said:


> I'm not generally a fan of the genre but these are very good - I've only read the first two but there's plenty of stories of people surviving terrible backgrounds in there.


ty, Weeps. Look v interesting. Particularly with the social angle... May well get the first of these in addition to a *cough* misery memoir or two.



Stash said:


> Mrs Stash has read loads of these; I'll ask her later.


ty, Stash!



5t3IIa said:


> What about the AA chappy? That's quite a story, isn't it? Or is that not what you meant?


Bill? He was a often a crashing bore, and - IIUC - a self-righteous, serially-philandering, revisionist, self-glorifying and egotistical trumpet 

From what I remember of his story, it also: a) starts in late adolescence / early adulthood; and b) isn't that _emotionally _reflective. Also not convinced that something like the AA Big Book, with it's chapter 'to wives,' would go down too well in the other half of this house


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## 5t3IIa (Sep 30, 2011)

How about this?


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## Stash (Sep 30, 2011)

Stash said:


> Mrs Stash has read loads of these; I'll ask her later.


Her favourite is A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, despite the fact that parts of it are fictionalised (I know - an alcoholic drug abuser lied to us! Who'd have thought it?!).


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## mrs quoad (Sep 30, 2011)

OK... I have a feeling that (to begin with) I should start by looking for something pretty similar to what it is that she's already enjoyed. If I go too far afield, and blow it, then that's likely to lose a hefty chunk of Artichoke's interest. Whereas if I stick quite close then - IMO - I've probably got a better chance of getting things right. Though - as a slightly separate genre - I do very much like the look of Weeps' suggestion, in particular (she's also asked for a book about Chavs / demonisation).

Novels / part-fiction / 'reputed to be' probably part-fiction: nope. TY, but they need to be presented as (and reputed as) authentic. There are reasons for this.

Memoirs starting in adulthood: ty, but nope. Drug addiction / a million little pieces - I can see where that's coming from, but it's a bit too far off to one side (IYSWIM) of what she's already enjoyed / got something out of.

AND people who've become blisteringly successful: nope. It's a bit... too far beyond 'getting back to a place where things were just ok and / or life was feeling quite a bit better but I'm still basically a normal human being'. IYSWIM. It's a very, very big success; instead of just a human narrative.

So, yeah, I guess I'm really thinking of the ones with the very familiar picture on the front, and the very similar titles, about horrible childhood and somehow moving beyond that to being ok / getting by in the here-and-now.

A recommendation / suggestion that's kinda along the lines of the 'other things you might like' recommendations Amazon comes up with, for the Sophie Andrews book. Or something along that theme. Or vaguely resembling it. In terms of narrative structure, themes, starting point, etc.

And, again, ty  And apologies for being so... specific... about the particular kind of misery I'm after


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## mrs quoad (Sep 30, 2011)

Oh, hello, Angela's Ashes is a misery memoir? I didn't know that.

Also, from a related times article,



> Sunny McCreary does not remember ever eating food during his childhood, or indeed having any clothes, toys or friends. The family's meagre income all went on crack cocaine for his mother and nails for his stepfather to pound into his flesh, his favourite pastime. Kept in a bird coop by his parents, Sunny endured a childhood of neglect, abuse and being bullied. In the course of the most painful life ever, he survived tragedy and maiming, a savage convent-school education, being pimped out, and a degrading addiction. Then things got really bad...



e2a: also, I've just realised that I've been confusing Dave Pelzer and Dave Eggers for a good 5 years.


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## Ax^ (Sep 30, 2011)

No uplifting ended sadly but quite frankly one of the most depressing book from the genre of misery porn,

"Ma' He sold me for a few  cigarettes"


Make angellas ashes appear cheery


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## kabbes (Sep 30, 2011)

What about A Child Called It, The Lost Boy and A Man Called Dave, all by Dave Pelzer?  They were bestsellers in the 90s and many people thought them excellent.  OTOH, the kabbes says "meh" (but then, she has terrible taste in literature -- avoids anything with dragons or robots for a start.  I know).  Personally, they never appealed so I never read them.  HTH.


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## kabbes (Sep 30, 2011)

mrs quoad said:


> Oh, hello, Angela's Ashes is a misery memoir? I didn't know that.


Yes, one that really pissed off my Nan, who came from the same part of Ireland at a similar part of history and says that it was nowhere near as bad as he painted, and that they may all have been poor and shoeless but they were happy etc etc.  "Nan", I would say, "I've not even read it."



> e2a: also, I've just realised that I've been confusing Dave Pelzer and Dave Eggers for a good 5 years.


So my mention of Dave Pelzer came too late then?


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## 5t3IIa (Sep 30, 2011)

Ax^ said:


> "Ma' He sold me for a few cigarettes"



The titles make me laugh  I googled 'daddy no' as that's the nickname I've given this genre (daddy no books) and wasn't surprised there's actually something actually titled that 

Qoad: ffs, use amazon's 'you might also like' feature then! And dont' be so patroniding of artichoke. You're making her sound like a dippy kid


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## story (Sep 30, 2011)

A Child Called It.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Child_Called_"It"

It was the one that started the rollercoaster. I think Angela's Ashes was dubbed Misery Memoir in retrospect.

It's the only one I read, really, and I chose to because the bloke really did seem to demonstrate a degree of forgiveness and healing that I found to be pretty extraordinary. He did a follow up, which I have not read so cannot comment on. And he did the round of chat shows and telly shows, but I'm not sure that he became "wildly successful"


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## kabbes (Sep 30, 2011)

story said:


> A Child Called It.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Child_Called_"It"
> 
> ...


I totally beat you by three whole minutes.  In your face.


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## Ax^ (Sep 30, 2011)

She has to other ones following her life of pain,


"Ma, I'm getting a new mammy"

And

"Ma, I'm in the nut house now"

Lol


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## story (Sep 30, 2011)

kabbes said:


> I totally beat you by three whole minutes. In your face.



Yeah... I saw that after I clicked on "reply".

I had to stop to blow my nose because I have a dreadful head-cold.

I hope you enjoy your victory in the face of my enduring misery, kabbes.


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## kabbes (Sep 30, 2011)

You know, I actually do enjoy it?


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## story (Sep 30, 2011)

No, kabbes, no!


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## kabbes (Sep 30, 2011)

Yes!  Feel the sweet taste of success, revel in it, make the most.


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## story (Sep 30, 2011)

That's your experience; mine is of humiliating defeat, agonising internal conflict, a sense of self-disgust and a sure and certain knowledge that this will endure for eveeeaaaah......

No more, kabbes, please don't


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## 5t3IIa (Sep 30, 2011)

_No, kabbes, no!: A Memoir_


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## story (Sep 30, 2011)

It is certainly burned into my memory


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## kabbes (Sep 30, 2011)

story said:


> That's your experience; mine is of humiliating defeat, agonising internal conflict, a sense of self-disgust and a sure and certain knowledge that this will endure for eveeeaaaah......


You're doing the actuarial exams?


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## story (Sep 30, 2011)

No. I'm on here instead.


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## 5t3IIa (Sep 30, 2011)

Trolled, followed about and bullied by an actuary. There was no escape, ever. Rage, pain and confusion were this girl's daily bread and collie piss her morning tea. This uplifting tale of an hideous never ending nightmare is perfect for a loved-one at Christmas! Pre-order now!


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## madzone (Sep 30, 2011)

There was a very funny thread on here a few years back about misery porn with urbs coming up with new titles. My favourite was 'No Grandad! Not in my ear!'


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## mrs quoad (Sep 30, 2011)

5t3IIa said:


> Qoad: ffs, use amazon's 'you might also like' feature then! And dont' be so patroniding of artichoke. You're making her sound like a dippy kid


She's a literature PhD who's a bit sick of literature, so it's kinda both ways round at the same time, tbh! Quite keen to get it right, and very aware that it would be quite easy to get it very wrong 

Looking like Angela's Ashes might be a definite goer, and possibly It 

And def _No Kebabs, No!_

A story of one child's oppression by hot meat offcuts.


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## madzone (Sep 30, 2011)

Ha! So it was only last year. My memory sucks.

eta - I don't think that's the thread I meant. This was one was a few years back with _proper_ urbs on it. Back in the day when urban had me literally crying with laughter.


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## Kidda (Sep 30, 2011)

I read a few of these when i was training to be a youth worker. 
ones  i found pretty decent were

Stuart- A life backwards by Alexander Masters (sheer genius and also made me cry)
Urban Grimshaw and the shed crew- Bernard Hare (one hapless social worker and a bunch of glue sniffing kids living in a shed)
Wasted- Mark Johnson (from drug addiction, shit things and making something good of his life)
The Kid- Kevin Lewis (abuse suffered by a young kid at the hands of his mother and how he survived)
The Kid moves on- Kevin Lewis (update to what happened after he turned his life around)
Kerry Katona- Tough Love (was actually really good)


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## punchdrunkme (Oct 5, 2011)

mrs quoad said:


> She's a literature PhD who's a bit sick of literature, so it's kinda both ways round at the same time, tbh! Quite keen to get it right, and very aware that it would be quite easy to get it very wrong
> 
> Looking like Angela's Ashes might be a definite goer, and possibly It
> 
> ...


 
That Frank McCourt fella who worte Angela's Ashes wrote another autobiographical book about his time as a teacher in New York in the 60's that is utterly charming. Theres a whole book thats a happey ending


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