# An Anthology of slurs on the Welsh.



## RubberBuccaneer (Jan 6, 2006)

Let's compose one.

Taffy was a Welshman 

A 'nursery rhyme' apparently

My favourite is from a book by Anthony Burgess who describes a Welsh publican in it who ' distrusted the Welsh, being one hinself'...I quite like that


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## editor (Jan 6, 2006)

RubberBuccaneer said:
			
		

> Let's compose one.
> 
> Taffy was a Welshman


"Traditionally sung on the 1st of March, St David's Day, on the Welsh borders and other parts of England"

_Rascist!_

No wonder Cardiff fans are angry!


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## *Miss Daisy* (Jan 6, 2006)

tis abit harsh,,  
oh what fond memories i have of dressing up in the welsh maids costumes on st davids day in school,,,with a leek under my arm and a daffodil in me hat


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## LilMissHissyFit (Jan 6, 2006)

The boys used to have leek eating competitions while all the girls scratched and scratched( those bloody costumes itched like mad)


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## Pickman's model (Jan 6, 2006)

until well into the nineteenth century, st david's day was the traditional date for a free-for-all assault on welsh people in london.


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## Belushi (Jan 6, 2006)

LilMissHissyFit said:
			
		

> The boys used to have leek eating competitions while all the girls scratched and scratched( those bloody costumes itched like mad)



I remember that, and competing about who had the largest leak   

The girls look adorable in those costumes tho'


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## Gavin Bl (Jan 6, 2006)

I believe it is still technically legal to kill a Welshman with a bow in Hereford.


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## tobyjug (Jan 6, 2006)

RubberBuccaneer said:
			
		

> A 'nursery rhyme' apparently



I take it, it predates the invention of Wellington boots.


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## militant atheist (Jan 6, 2006)

Gavin Bl said:
			
		

> I believe it is still technically legal to kill a Welshman with a bow in Hereford.



Yeah, apparently it also contary to local by-laws in Chester for Welsh people to collect in groups of more than three or to be on the streets after midnight!
Never repealed and punishable by death, apparently.

(This may, of course, be complete bullshit, but I've heard it quoted several times)


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## lewislewis (Jan 6, 2006)

I've heard these rumours, don't know whether they're true or not, but there are loads of silly ancient laws that haven't been repealed. Isn't it still technically illegal to have sex in a hotel?


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## osterberg (Jan 6, 2006)

lewislewis said:
			
		

> I've heard these rumours, don't know whether they're true or not, but there are loads of silly ancient laws that haven't been repealed. Isn't it still technically illegal to have sex in a hotel?


What?You can't have sex in a hotel if you're Welsh?


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## Brockway (Jan 6, 2006)

RubberBuccaneer said:
			
		

> Let's compose one.
> 
> Taffy was a Welshman
> 
> ...



Burgess was always dubious about the negative effects of alcohol on the Welsh, but then he was married to an alcoholic Welsh woman.

The most anti-Welsh author was probably Evelyn Waugh. He was a teacher in Wales for a while and never got over the experience:

"We can trace almost all the disasters of English history to the influence of Wales" - Evelyn Waugh 

"'The Welsh',said the Doctor :' are the only nation in the world that has produced no graphic or plastic art, no architecture, no drama. They just sing',he said with disgust :'sing and blow down wind instruments of plated silver.'" - Evelyn Waugh (Decline and Fall) 

Cheeky bugger.


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## Gavin Bl (Jan 6, 2006)

> "We can trace almost all the disasters of English history to the influence of Wales" - Evelyn Waugh



Black being white and white being black, earlier today.


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## Brockway (Jan 6, 2006)

Gavin Bl said:
			
		

> Black being white and white being black, earlier today.



Pardon? Do explain.


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## RubberBuccaneer (Jan 6, 2006)

Brockway said:
			
		

> "We can trace almost all the disasters of English history to the influence of Wales" - Evelyn Waugh
> .



What like Agincourt?

Half the frigging Caribbean?

And off course the raw materials for the Industrial revolution.

Cheeky bugger indeed!


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## Brockway (Jan 6, 2006)

Most modern day anti-Welsh slurs are motivated by publicity as much as anything else I suspect. Anne Robinson's "what are they for?" remark was used to generate a bit of 'isn't she nasty' promotion for the American version of _The Weakest Link_.

AA Gill's Welsh-bashing is all about self-promotion too but he's such a nonentity nobody really cares what he says.

The only genuinely disturbing bit of anti-Welshness I can remember was when Jeremy Clarkson cut Wales off of a map of Britain and put it in a microwave on national tv. Twat.


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## RubberBuccaneer (Jan 6, 2006)

Brockway said:
			
		

> The only genuinely disturbing bit of anti-Welshness I can remember was when Jeremy Clarkson cut Wales off of a map of Britain and put it in a microwave on national tv. Twat.



Feel sorry for the bloke Brockway...he has _no _ penis


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## Gavin Bl (Jan 6, 2006)

Brockway said:
			
		

> Pardon? Do explain.



Reality being stood on its head.


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## osterberg (Jan 6, 2006)

Brockway said:
			
		

> Most modern day anti-Welsh slurs are motivated by publicity as much as anything else I suspect. Anne Robinson's "what are they for?" remark was used to generate a bit of 'isn't she nasty' promotion for the American version of _The Weakest Link_.
> 
> AA Gill's Welsh-bashing is all about self-promotion too but he's such a nonentity nobody really cares what he says.
> 
> The only genuinely disturbing bit of anti-Welshness I can remember was when Jeremy Clarkson cut Wales off of a map of Britain and put it in a microwave on national tv. Twat.



 The Welsh are an easy target for todays so called 'comedians' along with for example,travellers,fat people and 'chavs'(Daily Mailspeak for the working class in my opinion) now  that traditional targets like black,asian, gay and disabled people are off limits.
 However the more 'jokes' that are made about these groups easier it is for bigoted 'comics' to attack those more traditional targets.Just look at the recent series of 'Little Britain'.But of course they're being _ironic_.

 This a particularly good article in the Guardian today about the horrible Jimmy Carr.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/comment/story/0,,1680501,00.html

"One final idea, if you'll bear with me, is that perhaps Jimmy Carr exists to remind us of the jokes that have been crushed for years under the feminine jackboot of political correctness: witness, in the same show, his triumphant resurrection of, "There's nothing sadder than a woman with two black eyes. She's been told twice, and still doesn't understand." Always one with an (unbruised!) eye on potentially delicate sensibilities in his audience, Carr is quick to comfort. "This is post-modern misogyny. That joke is steeped in irony," he says. "So don't you worry your pretty little head about it!" Do you see? He deconstructs even as he reassures! Truly, he is a comedy hero for our times."

 Charming,isn't he?


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## niclas (Jan 6, 2006)

*Taffy strikes back...*

As an antidote to the Taffy was a thief rhyme, I hope the editor will forgive a long cut'n'paste of a parody by Alun Rees which appears in his excellent anthology <i>Yesterday's Tomorrow</i> (Red Poets publications 2005).

TAFFY IS A WELSHMAN
Taffy is a Welshman,
Taffy is no thief.
Someone came to Taffy's house
and stole a leg of beef.

Taffy made no protest,
for he doesn't like a row,
so the someone called on him again
and stole the bloody cow.

They stole his coal and iron,
they stole his pastures, too.
They even stole his language
and flushed it down the loo.

Taffy is a Welshman,
Taffy is a fool.
Taffy voted no, no, no
when they offered him home rule.

Six days a week upon his knees
Taffy dug for coal.
On the seventh he was kneeling, too,
praying for his soul.

And now the mines are closing down
and chapel's had its day,
Taffy still lives upon his knees,
for he knows no other way.

Now sometimes Taffy's brother
will start a row or so,
but you can bank on Taffy:
he doesn't want to know.

For when they hanged Penderyn
he had nothing much to say,
and when Saunders Lewis went to jail
he looked the other way.

Taffy is a Welshman
who likes to be oppressed.
He was proud to tug his forelock
to a Crawshay or a Guest.

They give him tinsel royals,
so he has a pint of beer,
and sings God Bless the Prince of Wales
as he joins the mob to cheer.

Now Taffy is a fighter
when he hears the bugle call.
Name any war since Agincourt:
Taffy's seen them all.

He's fought in France and Germany
and many another land;
he's fought by sea and fought by air
and fought on desert sand.

He's fought for many a foreign flag
in many a foreign part,
for Taffy is a Welshman,
proud of his fighting heart.

He's fought the wide world over,
he's given blood and bone.
He's fought for every bloody cause
except his bloody own.


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## lewislewis (Jan 6, 2006)

Ah Nic that's great, i'm gonna e-mail it to my dad now. diolch.


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## davesgcr (Jan 6, 2006)

While we are at it - lets add Kingsley Amis to the list for his disrespect of Dylan Thomas  ! -


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## Dai Sheep (Jan 6, 2006)

Nice one niclas, thats a good 'un.. and how true it is.

Anyone ever come across Harri Webb's stuff? Sorry i've gone a bit mad with the cut n paste.

Anglomaniac Anthem

Oh, we’re looking up England’s arsehole
It’s the prettiest view we know,
It’s the height of our ambition,
It’s where we want to go,
It’s the finest sight in the universe
Though you seek both high and low
So we’re looking up England’s arsehole
Waiting for the breeze to blow.

They tell us Wales is a nation
But we don’t believe that story
Though she’s going bust we put our trust
In the Land of Hope and Glory,
So we’re looking up England’s arsehole
There was never a view so fine,
Yes we’re looking up England’s arsehole
Waiting for the sun to shine.

Here we crouch in our proper stations,
Obedient to her orders,
Though she’s in the shite she’ll see us right
If we earn her keep as warders,
So we’re looking up England’s arsehole
It’s the loveliest scene of all,
Yes we’re looking up England’s arsehole
Waiting for the manna to fall.

The Red, White and Green
On the first day of March we remember
Saint David the pride of our land,
Who taught us the stern path of duty
And for freedom and truth made a stand.
So here's to the sons of Saint David,
Those youngsters so loyal and keen
Who'll haul down the red, white and blue, lads,
And hoist up the red, white and green.

In the dark gloomy days of December
We mourn for Llywelyn with pride
Who fell in defence of his country
With eighteen brave men by his side.
So here's to the sons of Llywelyn,
The heirs of that valiant eighteen
Who'll haul down the red, white and blue, lads,
And hoist up the red, white and green.

In the warm, golden days of September,
Great Owain Glyndwr took the field,
For fifteen long years did he struggle
And never the dragon did yield.
So here's to the sons of Great Owain,
Who'll show the proud Sais what we mean
When we haul down the red, white and blue, lads,
And hoist up the red, white and green.

There are many more names to remember
And some that will never be known
Who were loyal to Wales and the gwerin
And defied all the might of the throne.
So here's to the sons of gwerin
Who care not for prince or for queen,
Who'll haul down the red, white and blue, lads,
And hoist up the red, white and green!


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## phildwyer (Jan 6, 2006)

davesgcr said:
			
		

> While we are at it - lets add Kingsley Amis to the list for his disrespect of Dylan Thomas  ! -



Amis wrote about Wales much better than Thomas ever did.


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## Karac (Jan 7, 2006)

Harri Webb wasnt bad either.
Wrote a good book "No Halfway house"
Spent half his life in the Labour Party (when it meant something)the other half in Plaid Cymru.


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## phildwyer (Jan 7, 2006)

Karac said:
			
		

> Harri Webb wasnt bad either.



Didn't he change his name to Cliff Richard?


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## niclas (Jan 7, 2006)

Alun Rees has also got a great poem called Yesterday's Tomorrow that opens with:

"When I grew up in the people's republic of Merthyr
we'd point out the communists in the street
and pity them for their political moderation.
As for the Tories, they were a protected species,
for they knew not what they did,
supporting the party of millionaires in a town
where the seriously rich were those with two pairs of shoes."

The other two stanzas are unbelievably poignant for any socialist.


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## lewislewis (Jan 7, 2006)

phildwyer said:
			
		

> Didn't he change his name to Cliff Richard?



No.


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## durruti02 (Jan 7, 2006)

niclas said:
			
		

> As an antidote to the Taffy was a thief rhyme, I hope the editor will forgive a long cut'n'paste of a parody by Alun Rees which appears in his excellent anthology <i>Yesterday's Tomorrow</i> (Red Poets publications 2005).
> 
> TAFFY IS A WELSHMAN
> Taffy is a Welshman,
> ...



  .. oh my god that sent shivers down my spine ..


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## durruti02 (Jan 7, 2006)

RubberBuccaneer said:
			
		

> Let's compose one.
> 
> Taffy was a Welshman
> 
> A 'nursery rhyme' apparently



 i used to sing that .. at home.. as a kid   and laugh ..as you do !!  .. BUT where/when /who  is it from???


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