# Another Royal Wedding. Hurrah!



## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)

Prince Harry to marry girlfriend Meghan Markle

It will be interesting to see the bigots at the Mail and Sun tie themselves in knots over this one.

Still good luck to them both. I wonder what first attracted her to multi-millionaire royal Harry?


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Another royal parasite


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## Silas Loom (Nov 27, 2017)

I'm as happy about Harry's wedding as he was about mine. Good day to bury bad news, though. Wonder what else will be announced?


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## twentythreedom (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> It will be interesting to see the bigots at the Mail and Sun tie themselves in knots over this one.


No it fucking won't


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Curiously meghan markle is the same age Diana was when she died


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## TheHoodedClaw (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> Still good luck to them both. I wonder what first attracted her to multi-millionaire royal Harry?



She's done 108 episodes as one of the leads in a US TV drama. She's probably got more money than Harry has.


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## TheHoodedClaw (Nov 27, 2017)

Silas Loom said:


> I'm as happy about Harry's wedding as he was about mine. Good day to bury bad news, though. Wonder what else will be announced?



It was supposed to be Industrial Strategy day.


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## Sue (Nov 27, 2017)

I couldn't give less of a toss but given this is all we're going to hear about for the next God knows how long, surely we should at least get the day off work..?


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## Silas Loom (Nov 27, 2017)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> It was supposed to be Industrial Strategy day.



True. AI, life sciences and defence tech may be screwed by Brexit, but our commemorative porcelain industry has never looked brighter.


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## Sue (Nov 27, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Curiously meghan markle is the same age Diana was when she died


There's definitely a Daily Express front page/conspiracy story in there somewhere...


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## Lord Camomile (Nov 27, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Curiously Coincidentally, meghan markle is the same age Diana was when she died


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## cupid_stunt (Nov 27, 2017)

Sue said:


> I couldn't give less of a toss but given this is all we're going to hear about for the next God knows how long, surely we should at least get the day off work..?



I think the government should pay for us all to getaway for the week of the wedding, to anywhere where we can avoid the coverage & public hysteria.


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## Juno4000 (Nov 27, 2017)

There wedding is to be postponed until the autumn because of the death of the princes grandparent. I am sure of it.


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

Sue said:


> I couldn't give less of a toss but given this is all we're going to hear about for the next God knows how long, surely we should at least get the day off work..?



This is the critical question. Will there be special bank holiday?


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## Gerry1time (Nov 27, 2017)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> It was supposed to be Industrial Strategy day.



Oh bum, I love a good Industrial Strategy day.

Still, hopefully her sister will have a nice bum.


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## JimW (Nov 27, 2017)

Small paper Union flags all round!


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## chilango (Nov 27, 2017)

Yeah. I can’t properly congratulate (deferentially of course) the happy country Le unless I get a paid day off work.


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## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


> I think the government should pay for us all to getaway for the week of the wedding, to anywhere where we can avoid the coverage & public hysteria.


Where; Mars?


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## chilango (Nov 27, 2017)

...and if they could do it on a Friday or a Monday not during the school holidays that make the day extra-special. Thanks in advance your loyal subject etc.


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## Ax^ (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> Still good luck to them both. I wonder what first attracted her to multi-millionaire royal Harry?


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## krtek a houby (Nov 27, 2017)

She seems to have a sensible head on her shoulders.

Just don't honeymoon in Paris.


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## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)

JimW said:


> Small paper Union flags all round!


Good news for the printers where you are!


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## not-bono-ever (Nov 27, 2017)

.


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> Prince Harry to marry girlfriend Meghan Markle
> 
> It will be interesting to see the bigots at the Mail and Sun tie themselves in knots over this one.


 No it won't. It's been going on for ages already and it's never interesting.



> Still good luck to them both. *I wonder what first attracted her to multi-millionaire royal Harry?*



Fucking hell. You are the kind of bigot you have been waiting for.


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## JimW (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> Good news for the printers where you are!


 If I was a cleverer man I'd have had a containerful on the high seas a month ago.


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## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)




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## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)

chilango said:


> ...and if they could do it on a Friday or a Monday not during the school holidays that make the day extra-special. Thanks in advance your loyal subject etc.


I think a Friday before one of the spring or early summer bank holidays would make me specially loyal.


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

chilango said:


> ...and if they could do it on a Friday or a Monday not during the school holidays that make the day extra-special. Thanks in advance your loyal subject etc.


If they could do it on rockall


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## chilango (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> I think a Friday before one of the spring or early summer bank holidays would make me specially loyal.



It’s what they deserve. Gawd bless ‘em.


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## RainbowTown (Nov 27, 2017)

God love 'em.


Or maybe more accurately: 


Another leech the taxpayer will have to subsidize.


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## chilango (Nov 27, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> If they could do it on rockall



No!  That, like South Georgia, is on my bucket list of special places to visit and you keep trying to ruin them!!!


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## Lord Camomile (Nov 27, 2017)

Is Harry's wedding significant enough (in they eyes of those that make these decisions) for a bank holiday? He's fifth in line to the throne - I don't know what the cutoff is


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Post 2





Pickman's model said:


> Another royal parasite


Post 30





RainbowTown said:


> Another leech the taxpayer will have to subsidize.


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Is Harry's wedding significant enough (in they eyes of those that make these decisions) for a bank holiday? He's fifth in line to the throne - I don't know what the cutoff is



Depends when the actual wedding happens I reckon. At the moment the government will be desperate for this sort of thing so I imagine they'll go to town on it if its in the next 12 months.  I'm reasonably confident of a bonus bank holiday.


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

chilango said:


> No!  That, like South Georgia, is on my bucket list of special places to visit and you keep trying to ruin them!!!


Have you read a wizard of earthsea where ged finds a couple of noble maroons on a sandbar? Blueprint for what should happen to hal and meg


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> Depends when the actual wedding happens I reckon. At the moment the government will be desperate for this sort of thing so I imagine they'll go to town on it if its in the next 12 months.  I'm reasonably confident of a bonus bank holiday.


Yeh. The triumph of hope over experience


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## chilango (Nov 27, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Is Harry's wedding significant enough (in they eyes of those that make these decisions) for a bank holiday? He's fifth in line to the throne - I don't know what the cutoff is



Of course he is. How dare you. Think of the charity work he does too.


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

chilango said:


> No!  That, like South Georgia, is on my bucket list of special places to visit and you keep trying to ruin them!!!


The canals will improve your sojourn on sg


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

He's 5th in line and now they've changed the rules her being Catholic doesn't seem to effect that.  A bank holiday for sure.


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## RainbowTown (Nov 27, 2017)

Well great minds think alike 

 

Seriously though, prepares for the sick-fest that will dominate the likes of the right-wing press, the BBC, Sky News. Endless sugar coated drivel from "our Royal correspondent (ie hapless lackey) from outside Buckingham Palace" - the grandest council house in the UK. I have my puke bucket at the ready.


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## LDC (Nov 27, 2017)

Has Corbyn expressed his heartfelt congratulations and danced a little jig of joy yet? If not, why not, the traitorous commie pinko?


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## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)

LynnDoyleCooper said:


> Has Corbyn expressed his heartfelt congratulations and danced a little jig of joy yet? If not, why not, the traitorous commie pinko?


Well. I for one won’t be satisfied unless he sacrifices himself to the Sun God on the day. And even then I bet he won’t bow low enough before the obsidian knife...


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## Lord Camomile (Nov 27, 2017)

Jeremy Corbyn reacts to news of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement



			
				Corbyn said:
			
		

> "Congratulations to Harry and Meghan. I wish them well. I hope they have a great time and great fun together and having met Harry a couple of times I’m sure they are going to have a great deal of fun together.
> 
> What I would also like to say is that I really do admire the way that Harry and his brother have drawn attention to mental health conditions all across the country.
> 
> “I wish them well, thank him for what he’s done on mental health and hope they have a great life together.”


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## RainbowTown (Nov 27, 2017)

I wonder what Harry's wedding suit will be....?

Maybe that Nazi uniform he wore a while back?


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## Poi E (Nov 27, 2017)

Nice gift for the media, who I am sure have vetted her thoroughly.


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## killer b (Nov 27, 2017)

Can we make sure board discipline is kept to, and all future chat about this event is kept within the confines of this thread?

<ignores thread>


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## Yossarian (Nov 27, 2017)

I give it six months of being hounded by the press before Markle convinces Harry they'd be better off living at her home in Toronto instead of London. Three months if she says something about Brexit again.


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## Lord Camomile (Nov 27, 2017)

Yossarian said:


> I give it six months of being hounded by the press before Markle convinces Harry they'd be better off living at her home in Toronto instead of London. Three months if she says something about Brexit again.


I dunno, the BBC just reported she's moving her dogs to the UK.

Slow news day, not much else going on...


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## TheHoodedClaw (Nov 27, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Jeremy Corbyn reacts to news of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement



The BBC auto-text facility failed spectacularly on the "Harry and his brother" part of JC's remarks.


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

I see the head of the catholic church in England has lost no time getting on his knees and kissing royal arse


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## hash tag (Nov 27, 2017)

Will Harry's father be present at the wedding


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 27, 2017)

hash tag said:


> Will Harry's father be present at the wedding



Doubt it, he's not been very well lately.


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## flypanam (Nov 27, 2017)

Will there be lots of guff about her being a commoner? When she isn't, like the last one to marry into the German mafia.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 27, 2017)

Does anyone know if we get days off for Brenda's funeral?


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## LDC (Nov 27, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> I see the head of the catholic church in England has lost no time getting on his knees and kissing royal arse




Life long commitment to marriage...? Is that a passive-aggressive threat?!


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

LynnDoyleCooper said:


> Life long commitment to marriage...? Is that a passive-aggressive threat?!


Maybe he's not anticipating a long marriage


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## sealion (Nov 27, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> I see the head of the catholic church in England has lost no time getting on his knees


A nosh is a nosh he's not picky.


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## Lord Camomile (Nov 27, 2017)

LynnDoyleCooper said:


> Life long commitment to marriage...? Is that a passive-aggressive threat?!





Pickman's model said:


> Maybe he's not anticipating a long marriage


May well just be how he talks about marriage, but could also be a not-so-subtle reference to the fact Markle has been married before.


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> May well just be how he talks about marriage, but could also be a not-so-subtle reference to the fact Markle has been married before.


Marriage is an holy estate often driven into the tunnel supports of infidelity


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## sealion (Nov 27, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Doubt it, he's not been very well lately.


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## DotCommunist (Nov 27, 2017)

which table will Hewitt be sitting at eh


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> which table will Hewitt be sitting at eh


The top table, father of the groom and that


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## Silas Loom (Nov 27, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Does anyone know if we get days off for Brenda's funeral?



It's a given, surely. Not that it applies to those of us not lucky enough to have a boss.


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## sealion (Nov 27, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> which table will Hewitt be sitting at eh


Friends and family


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## Reiabuzz (Nov 27, 2017)

Silas Loom said:


> It's a given, surely. Not that it applies to those of us not lucky enough to have a boss.



There should be one for the funeral and hopefully the coronation of chuck will be a week day too.


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## Silas Loom (Nov 27, 2017)

Reiabuzz said:


> There should be one for the funeral and hopefully the coronation of chuck will be a week day too.



The coronation bank holiday would be a year later, though. More, if there's a squabble between Lambeth Palace and Clarence House over precisely which organic oils are used for the bonce salve.


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## cyril_smear (Nov 27, 2017)

Another forced bank holiday. I'd much rather take my days off work when I want to.


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## sealion (Nov 27, 2017)

cyril_smear said:


> Another forced bank holiday. I'd much rather take my days off work when I want to.


Radio saying it's not.


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## ShiftyBagLady (Nov 27, 2017)

LynnDoyleCooper said:


> Life long commitment to marriage...? Is that a passive-aggressive threat?!


I think she has been divorced so its an interesting choice of words


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 27, 2017)

sealion said:


> Radio saying it's not.



Oh. I guess a mod can close the thread then.


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## Calamity1971 (Nov 27, 2017)

ShiftyBagLady said:


> I think she has been divorced sonits an interesting choice of words


He's giving his blessing because her previous marriage failed but not to infidelity (Nicholas withchall earlier on BBC). He also brought up the fact that she's mixed race!
Turned TV off and took a propranolol.


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## DotCommunist (Nov 27, 2017)

nicolas fucking witchall. When the Queen dies they should kill and bury him with her like the romans did with their slaves


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

So potentially a bank holiday each for a wedding, funeral and coronation in 2018.  The CBI will go into meltdown.


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## Silas Loom (Nov 27, 2017)

Poor Witchell. From fronting the six o'clock news, manfully subduing lesbians whenever they threatened national stability, to reporting on a family which all hate him.


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## LDC (Nov 27, 2017)

Now seems a good time to tell you William’s my real dad and that’s not the half of it, by Prince Harry


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

cyril_smear said:


> Another forced bank holiday. I'd much rather take my days off work when I want to.


You should just be glad you get days off work. Which union do you belong to?


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## Sprocket. (Nov 27, 2017)

All this talk of extra bank holidays on Industrial Strategy Day!


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> All this talk of extra bank holidays on Industrial Strategy Day!


my industrial strategy has always consisted of laziness and absenteeism


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## Sprocket. (Nov 27, 2017)

They may have a low key affair, register office with tea and bath buns in the Naafi!
To show solidarity in these days of austerity and strife!


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## MrSki (Nov 27, 2017)

Hope it works at as well as the last royal who married an American divorcee who married a nazi.


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## hash tag (Nov 27, 2017)

Has someone said a spring wedding? Timed to exclude Kate from the proceedings!

Timed to bury bad news; like Christmas?


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## Rosemary Jest (Nov 27, 2017)

Did anyone watch "I Wanna Marry Harry" on telly a few years ago?

He married an American if I recall. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

Oh, and these tory cunts had better give us a holiday, it's the least we should expect for having to put up with the royals.


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## Sprocket. (Nov 27, 2017)

Wonder if that ne’er do well Trump will be on the guest list?


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> Wonder if that ne’er do well Trump will be on the guest list?


Why not? Britain's foremost ne'er-do-wells will be there


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## Sprocket. (Nov 27, 2017)

Rosemary Jest said:


> Did anyone watch "I Wanna Marry Harry" on telly a few years ago?



No, I think I was watching The Devil’s Whore.


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## Pickman's model (Nov 27, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> No, I think I was watching The Devil’s Whore.


Or the queen's speech as that annual bore-fest is better known


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## TheHoodedClaw (Nov 27, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> Wonder if that ne’er do well Trump will be on the guest list?



The sitting US President wouldn't get invited to a royal wedding normally. Obama wasn't at William and Kate's, for example, nor was Ronnie Reagan at Charles and Di's do. Nancy Reagan went instead.

Obama might get invited to this as a family friend though, which I imagine Donny would appreciate.


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## hash tag (Nov 27, 2017)

Guess who is off the invite list DUP's Foster in wrong prince wedding tweet


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## KeeperofDragons (Nov 27, 2017)

RainbowTown said:


> Well great minds think alike
> 
> 
> 
> Seriously though, prepares for the sick-fest that will dominate the likes of the right-wing press, the BBC, Sky News. Endless sugar coated drivel from "our Royal correspondent (ie hapless lackey) from outside Buckingham Palace" - the grandest council house in the UK. I have my puke bucket at the ready.


I have ordered a puke skip - a bucket just isn't big enough


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## Sue (Nov 27, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> my industrial strategy has always consisted of laziness and absenteeism


#hellinahandcart


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## hash tag (Nov 27, 2017)




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## LDC (Nov 27, 2017)

hash tag said:


>




Jesus fucking Christ, what drugs were they on when they wrote that sketch?!


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

Hmmm.  I'm a tad concerned that there are a few mumblings about a fairly low key affair or at least a bit more private.  This could impact on the chances of a bonus bank holiday.


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## scifisam (Nov 27, 2017)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> The sitting US President wouldn't get invited to a royal wedding normally. Obama wasn't at William and Kate's, for example, nor was Ronnie Reagan at Charles and Di's do. Nancy Reagan went instead.
> 
> Obama might get invited to this as a family friend though, which I imagine Donny would appreciate.



If they invited Obama and not The Donald to the wedding it'd almost be worth the ridiculous sums we'll be paying for it.


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

If I remember from the last absurd waste of cash the protocol is to invite the ambassador from every country the UK has normal diplomatic relations with.  I imagine if a head of state wanted to take the invitation from their ambassador they probably could.


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## BemusedbyLife (Nov 27, 2017)

If we have a bonus bank holiday, I could volunteer to work it. get paid extra for not watching the wedding (providing I stay out of the break room) and then still have a day off as well, the more royal weddings the better as far as I am concerned, one a week would be nice.


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## spanglechick (Nov 27, 2017)

There was no bank holiday for Andrew and Fergie’s wedding. Andrew was at that point second in line for the throne, so there’s little justification for Harry.


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

spanglechick said:


> There was no bank holiday for Andrew and Fergie’s wedding. Andrew was at that point second in line for the throne, so there’s little justification for Harry.



Whilst you can point to a few differences I suspect you're probably right.  We may have to fall back on queeny carking it if we are to get a bank holiday and even then I'm not so sure.


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## Sprocket. (Nov 27, 2017)

No extra Bank Holiday I just heard on the radio.


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## Teaboy (Nov 27, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> No extra Bank Holiday I just heard on the radio.



Fucking cunts the lot of em.  I hope it rains and she legs it with the best man.


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## Nanker Phelge (Nov 27, 2017)

Sprocket. said:


> No extra Bank Holiday I just heard on the radio.



You can't be letting people of colour on the Balcony at Buck House and then allowing the plebs time off to celebrate it.....


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## Ponyutd (Nov 27, 2017)

Guest list is out already.


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## DexterTCN (Nov 27, 2017)




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## MrSki (Nov 27, 2017)

Silas Loom said:


> Good day to bury bad news, though. Wonder what else will be announced?


Grim news for benefits gets slipped out 21 minutes after the Royal engagement


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## BemusedbyLife (Nov 27, 2017)

MrSki said:


> Grim news for benefits gets slipped out 21 minutes after the Royal engagement


I am in no way defending this crap but isn't this just the continuation of the existing four year freeze announced three years ago they're not tagging yet another year on are they?


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## farmerbarleymow (Nov 27, 2017)

Another circus to put up with. Why can't they go the registry office and save us a few bob.


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## UrbaneFox (Nov 27, 2017)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> She's done 108 episodes as one of the leads in a US TV drama. She's probably got more money than Harry has.



Alas, no. Despite being 10 trillion pounds in the red, the Queen Mother still managed to leave Prince Harry the bulk of her fortune

HURRAH !!!


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## TheHoodedClaw (Nov 27, 2017)

UrbaneFox said:


> Alas, no. Despite being 10 trillion pounds in the red, the Queen Mother still managed to leave Prince Harry the bulk of her fortune



She didn't though?


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## pseudonarcissus (Nov 27, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Another royal parasite


I wonder if she has “no recourse to public funds” stamped her passport?


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## UrbaneFox (Nov 27, 2017)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> She didn't though?



I think she did.

I have no peer-reviewed evidence, though.

Peat of Peat Marwick McClintock gets to live In Kensington Palace, if that's any help.


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## ViolentPanda (Nov 27, 2017)

spanglechick said:


> There was no bank holiday for Andrew and Fergie’s wedding. Andrew was at that point second in line for the throne, so there’s little justification for Harry.



To be fair, your post only needed the last five words.


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## Jon-of-arc (Nov 27, 2017)

Ok, petition created.  Might as well try and get a day off out of it.

Sign the Petition

Feel free to sign, share on Facebook etc, if that's your bag.


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## hash tag (Nov 27, 2017)

Maybe they will do the deed in Canada


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## TheHoodedClaw (Nov 27, 2017)

UrbaneFox said:


> I think she did.
> 
> I have no peer-reviewed evidence, though.
> 
> Peat of Peat Marwick McClintock gets to live In Kensington Palace, if that's any help.



Ah, OK. Carry on.


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## Chilli.s (Nov 27, 2017)

Better be a day off work or else.


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## cupid_stunt (Nov 27, 2017)

Chilli.s said:


> Better be a day off work or else.


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## Raheem (Nov 27, 2017)

hash tag said:


> Maybe they will do the deed in Canada



Think tradition is they'll do the deed pretty much all over the Commonwealth, although not necessarily with each other.


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## Raheem (Nov 27, 2017)

Chilli.s said:


> Better be a day off work or else.



Take it anyway and claim you're being persecuted for your beliefs if you don't get paid.


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## hash tag (Nov 27, 2017)

Raheem said:


> Think tradition is they'll do the deed pretty much all over the Commonwealth, although not necessarily with each other.




That's if they haven't already done so


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## Puddy_Tat (Nov 27, 2017)

currently on tweeter


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## MrSki (Nov 27, 2017)

BemusedbyLife said:


> I am in no way defending this crap but isn't this just the continuation of the existing four year freeze announced three years ago they're not tagging yet another year on are they?


Maybe but the increase in inflation meant that it was being re-assessed. Otherwise there would be no need for an announcement.


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## mx wcfc (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> It will be interesting to see the bigots at the Mail and Sun tie themselves in knots over this one.


The sole redeeming feature of this whole thing is that there are going to be some very, very unhappy petty nationalist, royalist racists.


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## mx wcfc (Nov 27, 2017)

And with that, I too am (for the first time in my Urban existence), putting this thread on ignore


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## Puddy_Tat (Nov 27, 2017)

mx wcfc said:


> And with that, I too am (for the first time in my Urban existence), putting this thread on ignore



i presume you've already contributed towards urban 75's collection for a wedding present then


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## MrSki (Nov 27, 2017)

mx wcfc said:


> The sole redeeming feature of this whole thing is that there are going to be some very, very unhappy petty nationalist, royalist racists.


If I had not been informed I would not be aware of her mixed race status. She is also a plastic paddy that might not go down so well till the border dispute is settled. 

Edit to add he is more european than I realised. 





> Her father, of German, Dutch, English, Irish and Scottish descent,[13


That must have been some party.


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## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)

Jon-of-arc said:


> Ok, petition created.  Might as well try and get a day off out of it.
> 
> Sign the Petition
> 
> ...



Done!


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## Jon-of-arc (Nov 27, 2017)

A380 said:


> Done!



You da man! Would be quite cool if it actually got going, and turned into a hot button issue that could be used to bash the Tories with.  This is the dream.  Thanks for dreaming it with me.


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## A380 (Nov 27, 2017)

Jon-of-arc said:


> You da man! Would be quite cool if it actually got going, and turned into a hot button issue that could be used to bash the Tories with.  This is the dream.  Thanks for dreaming it with me.



Trying to get it in the Morning Star...


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## Raheem (Nov 27, 2017)

MrSki said:


> Edit to add (s)he is more european than I realised.
> 
> 
> > Her father, of German, Dutch, English, Irish and Scottish descent,



That's basically the American way of saying "of almost exclusively English descent".


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## Treacle Toes (Nov 27, 2017)

mx wcfc said:


> The sole redeeming feature of this whole thing is that there are going to be some very, very unhappy petty nationalist, royalist racists.



Those that don't already know about Queen Charlotte? Those who have already been frothing at the mouth for months now?


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## Beats & Pieces (Nov 27, 2017)

She is a beautiful woman - he's punching waaaaay above his weight there. Should make for an interesting gene pool.


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## cupid_stunt (Nov 28, 2017)

DexterTCN said:


> View attachment 121503



Similar, from The Wokingham Paper...


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## DexterTCN (Nov 28, 2017)




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## krtek a houby (Nov 28, 2017)

DexterTCN said:


> View attachment 121542



Just imagine if both Piglet and David Cameron are seated together at the wedding do...


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## Silas Loom (Nov 28, 2017)

Jon-of-arc 

Why isn't the petition on the gov.uk platform? Change.org is for petitions which are doomed from the outset.

Not that I'd dream of signing. I disagree with almost every sentiment expressed. The Cambridges' affair was monstrous; there was a street party. I had to move the car and talk to my neighbours. Thank goodness this one will be quieter.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 28, 2017)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Nov 28, 2017)

Beats & Pieces said:


> She is a beautiful woman - he's punching waaaaay above his weight there. Should make for an interesting gene pool.



The man is wedged and, while competition isn't exactly high here, one of the more normal looking royals we've had in the last 100 years. 

She's about his level.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Nov 28, 2017)

Puddy_Tat said:


> currently on tweeter



So the strap reads "...across Britain", but the article focuses on TWO councils in London.  What a load of pustulent dog spunk.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 28, 2017)

I was going to make a weak quip about helmand and helicopter gunships but it would get me arrested. So I wont


----------



## Jon-of-arc (Nov 28, 2017)

Silas Loom said:


> Jon-of-arc
> 
> Why isn't the petition on the gov.uk platform? Change.org is for petitions which are doomed from the outset.
> 
> Not that I'd dream of signing. I disagree with almost every sentiment expressed. The Cambridges' affair was monstrous; there was a street party. I had to move the car and talk to my neighbours. Thank goodness this one will be quieter.



It's not meant to be taken that seriously, but it's on change now, so that's where it's staying. 

I don't agree with any of the wording, either.  But I figured if I wanted real people to sign it, I should avoid slagging of the royals, and just play it straight.  It can be read tongue in cheek, if that's the way you want to read it, but it's mostly just about using vaguely persuasive language - I didn't think "listen up, Theresa, you cunt, we're paying for this load of pony and in return we want a day off work" would get their attention, in the right way...


----------



## Silas Loom (Nov 28, 2017)

Jon-of-arc said:


> I figured if I wanted real people to sign it, I should avoid slagging of the royals, and just play it straight.  It can be read tongue in cheek, if that's the way you want to read it, but it's mostly just about using vaguely persuasive language - I didn't think "listen up, Theresa, you cunt, we're paying for this load of pony and in return we want a day off work" would get their attention, in the right way...



Oh dear. You've embraced compromise and lost touch with your base. This is how good people end up being corrupted by power.


----------



## Winot (Nov 28, 2017)

An immigration lawyer writes:

https://www.freemovement.org.uk/meghan-markle-visa-immigration-rules/


----------



## A380 (Nov 28, 2017)

Silas Loom said:


> Oh dear. You've embraced compromise and lost touch with your base. This is how good people end up being corrupted by power.


Yeah you want to be careful. You might actually end up achieving change and making people’s lives a bit better. Then how would people who believed almost exactly the same as you know you were better?


----------



## Calamity1971 (Nov 28, 2017)

Phew, it's going to be a quiet affair at St George's Chapel with Brenda paying for the 'core' elements. We're just paying for a couple of plod for security.


----------



## 8ball (Nov 28, 2017)

I was kind of pleased for them for about 90 seconds but am crashingly bored now.
Out of all the royal parasites, he's definitely the one I loathe least, and she seems nice.


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 28, 2017)

at least it means tv schedules should remain unaffected right


----------



## Silas Loom (Nov 28, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> at least it means tv schedules should remain unaffected right



Hope they don't show that shit show she's in.


----------



## 8ball (Nov 28, 2017)

Silas Loom said:


> Hope they don't show that shit show she's in.



Don't give them ideas.


----------



## Raheem (Nov 28, 2017)

Silas Loom said:


> Hope they don't show that shit show she's in.



I'm pretty sure there's nothing can be done to stop the British royal family getting at least some coverage.


----------



## Kaka Tim (Nov 28, 2017)

some mail readers are apparently losing their shit cos shes "old" american and divorced. Im sure her  African heritage is not a factor whatsoever.

10 Daily Mail reader comments on the Royal Wedding done as headlines


----------



## rekil (Nov 28, 2017)

Pitching my story to the Mail - "Why cocktail of PTSD, Hewitt jibes and racist remarks could trigger Harry wedding gun rampage like that one in Nepal a while back" 

BBC News | SOUTH ASIA | Nepal royal family massacred


----------



## Kaka Tim (Nov 28, 2017)

A Nepaling tragedy ...


----------



## A380 (Nov 28, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> some mail readers are apparently losing their shit cos shes "old" american and divorced. Im sure her  African heritage is not a factor whatsoever.
> 
> 10 Daily Mail reader comments on the Royal Wedding done as headlines


That’s made my evening! I can feel slight cracks appearing in my republicanism...


----------



## cyril_smear (Nov 28, 2017)

Did anybody catch the 1200-1230 segment on Jeremy Vine today. If I heard right(I was driving to a job interview) he was going to be talking about whatever her name is being mixed race.


----------



## 8ball (Nov 28, 2017)

A380 said:


> That’s made my evening! I can feel slight cracks appearing in my republicanism...



Me too! 

(those cracks lasted about five seconds tbf)


----------



## Treacle Toes (Nov 28, 2017)

Apparently it's all about this... Bleurghhhhhhhhhhhhhh _Because Brits are racist? Nooooooooooooooo stop that Founding father, ex pat, Southern settler thinking..._the Brits are just trying to take us back


----------



## Streathamite (Nov 28, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> some mail readers are apparently losing their shit cos shes "old" american and divorced. Im sure her  African heritage is not a factor whatsoever.
> 
> 10 Daily Mail reader comments on the Royal Wedding done as headlines


That is fucking hilarious! Thank you, comrade KT


----------



## William of Walworth (Nov 28, 2017)

We couldn't seem to avoid BBC 24 hour news yesterday. This royal shite  was on in all the pubs, on silent thankfully. But when still at home, earlier, that nauseating sycophant Nicholas Witchell was the straw that broke the remote's back  

From this I conclude there was *No Other News At All, Anywhere* on Monday 27th November 2017  

In one pub, they switched over from BBC to Sky News, which wasn't quite as bad as it goes.


----------



## William of Walworth (Nov 28, 2017)

In 1981 (or was it 1980?), during _that_ royal wedding, a group of us climbed Snowdon on the day for maximum avoidance 

My request for this bollocks is for it to happen on the last weekend of May next year (the late May Bank Holiday one, but with an *EXTRA* Bank Holiday  -- we'll be at Bearded Theory  )


----------



## Yossarian (Nov 28, 2017)

Looks like they'll have to call it off:


----------



## Treacle Toes (Nov 28, 2017)

Where the AF did you find that?  ufff on second thoughts, I am already done...those that hate it, those that are enjoying laughing at those who hate it, same boring nonsense that won't change much more than the amount of people I want to wind swipe because they start using the term Mixed race like they just invented it and own the experiences of every single person that might identify as such.  Hahahahahaahahah amazeballs.


----------



## Badgers (Nov 28, 2017)




----------



## krtek a houby (Nov 29, 2017)

Badgers said:


> View attachment 121602



As a long term Bill fan, I have completely failed to get the reference. The shame.


----------



## Beats & Pieces (Nov 29, 2017)

Artaxerxes said:


> The man is wedged and, while competition isn't exactly high here, one of the more normal looking royals we've had in the last 100 years.
> 
> She's about his level.



Take away his 'wedge', position and status, and then place him in a 'normal' environment - and you think this is true? He might be 'normal' looking within a particularly limited context - in another he would clearly be considered physically unexceptional.


----------



## Mation (Nov 29, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Where the AF did you find that?  ufff on second thoughts, I am already done...those that hate it, those that are enjoying laughing at those who hate it, same boring nonsense that won't change much more than the amount of people I want to wind swipe because they start using the term Mixed race like they just invented it and own the experiences of every single person that might identify as such.  Hahahahahaahahah amazeballs.


I saw someone put it very well on Facebook yesterday, that there are a lot of white people on the left who want to use her ethnicity as a weapon against the royalists and right wing frothers. But it's very uncomfortable. This is not theirs to play with.

And however much I don't give a shit about Meghan generally, and even though she has chosen to be there, I still wouldn't wish this aspect of what she's about to experience on anyone.


----------



## KeeperofDragons (Nov 29, 2017)

Winot said:


> An immigration lawyer writes:
> 
> https://www.freemovement.org.uk/meghan-markle-visa-immigration-rules/


Like she's going to have to jump through those hoops, Brenda will fix it


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Nov 29, 2017)

Beats & Pieces said:


> She is a beautiful woman - he's punching waaaaay above his weight there. Should make for an interesting gene pool.



I know this will be controversial, but I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers.  (I have a soft spot for gingers.)  All of the circus that goes with him can get to fuck though.  You'd have to be self-destructive to consider marrying into that bunch.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Nov 29, 2017)

Kaka Tim said:


> some mail readers are apparently losing their shit cos shes "old" american and divorced. Im sure her  African heritage is not a factor whatsoever.
> 
> 10 Daily Mail reader comments on the Royal Wedding done as headlines



Of course not.  Perish the thought that the descendants of people who thought that the Mail's "Hoorah for the Blackshirts!" was a good thing, might be at all "challenged" in regard to accepting someone from a mixed-race background!


----------



## cupid_stunt (Nov 29, 2017)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> (I have a soft spot for gingers.)



*dyes hair*


----------



## Ponyutd (Nov 29, 2017)

Harry was overheard on his mobile. 
"Dad, I'm getting married! Should I tell Charles?"


----------



## magneze (Nov 29, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Apparently it's all about this... Bleurghhhhhhhhhhhhhh _Because Brits are racist? Nooooooooooooooo stop that Founding father, ex pat, Southern settler thinking..._the Brits are just trying to take us back


That all sorts of fantastic. Love it.


----------



## stavros (Nov 29, 2017)

Have they said when the whole charade will be yet, and if so, will it clash with more important things like next year's Snooker World Championship?

Yes, I am still bitter from the BBC shunting the Ding-Trump semi-final off of TV in 2011.

Actually, if they could clash it with either of the two family weddings I have next year, it'll maximise my chances of avoiding any exposure.


----------



## Raheem (Nov 29, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Apparently it's all about this... Bleurghhhhhhhhhhhhhh _Because Brits are racist? Nooooooooooooooo stop that Founding father, ex pat, Southern settler thinking..._the Brits are just trying to take us back



Those tweets are presumably meant to be satirical, though.


----------



## sealion (Nov 30, 2017)

No Philip I said Mehgan Merkel not Angela


----------



## Treacle Toes (Nov 30, 2017)

Raheem said:


> Those tweets are presumably meant to be satirical, though.



OMG, do y'think?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Nov 30, 2017)

if it was a royal weeding I would be far more interested


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Nov 30, 2017)

I should ask my mother-in-law what she thinks but then again, I don't know whether I have the energy for it. She loves the royals.


----------



## Hellsbells (Nov 30, 2017)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I know this will be controversial, but I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers.  (I have a soft spot for gingers.)  All of the circus that goes with him can get to fuck though.  You'd have to be self-destructive to consider marrying into that bunch.


----------



## Hellsbells (Nov 30, 2017)

Hes
He's way more attractive than william


----------



## Pickman's model (Nov 30, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> if it was a royal weeding I would be far more interested


Or a red wedding like in game of thrones


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Nov 30, 2017)

I confess I'm with Yuwipi Woman on this...he's not too shabby...I am also a big fan of our ginger brethren.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Nov 30, 2017)

Hellsbells said:


> Hes
> 
> He's way more attractive than william


Quite. It always amuses me how everyone swooned over the beautiful Diana-boy that he was but now he's fallen prey to the Windsor male pattern baldness...not so much.


----------



## scifisam (Nov 30, 2017)

Beats & Pieces said:


> Take away his 'wedge', position and status, and then place him in a 'normal' environment - and you think this is true? He might be 'normal' looking within a particularly limited context - in another he would clearly be considered physically unexceptional.



They would be a completely unexceptional couple if they were ordinary non-rich people you just met down the pub or whatever - he's not bad looking, tallish and presumably fairly fit given his former job - it wouldn't be surprising in the slightest to see him with a beautiful woman.


----------



## Sasaferrato (Nov 30, 2017)

Sue said:


> I couldn't give less of a toss but given this is all we're going to hear about for the next God knows how long, surely we should at least get the day off work..?



A day off work?  Think what that does to the economy and tax receipts.  Nope, no day off work.

Amazing how your views change, when you are dependent on tax receipts for your pension to be paid.  Prior to the 4th of October, I'd have been wanting a day off too.


----------



## Sasaferrato (Nov 30, 2017)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> I know this will be controversial, but I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers.  (I have a soft spot for gingers.)  All of the circus that goes with him can get to fuck though.  You'd have to be self-destructive to consider marrying into that bunch.


 You would, wouldn't you? I really hope she realises what is in store.


----------



## Sue (Nov 30, 2017)

Sasaferrato said:


> A day off work?  Think what that does to the economy and tax receipts.  Nope, no day off work.
> 
> Amazing how your views change, when you are dependent on tax receipts for your pension to be paid.  Prior to the 4th of October, I'd have been wanting a day off too.


Last time when there was a bank holiday, my client was closed so since i couldn't work, I didn't get paid. This time I would get paid so...


----------



## Yuwipi Woman (Nov 30, 2017)

Sasaferrato said:


> You would, wouldn't you? I really hope she realises what is in store.



Wouldn't want her to find out the same way as Diana did.


----------



## Sasaferrato (Nov 30, 2017)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Wouldn't want her to find out the same way as Diana did.


 Indeed.


----------



## DotCommunist (Nov 30, 2017)

grandad phil cutting the brake cables


----------



## hash tag (Dec 1, 2017)

I see it's happening on Saturday 26th May, so many will be getting Monday 28th off, which is a bank holiday


----------



## T & P (Dec 1, 2017)

On related news, this has made me smile no end today:

Prince George gay prayer call 'unkind'


----------



## LDC (Dec 1, 2017)

Buckets of  all round...

Meghan Markle could shake up monarchy, says Noam Chomsky


----------



## sealion (Dec 1, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> grandad phil cutting the brake cables


Again


----------



## GarveyLives (Dec 3, 2017)

A380 said:


> Prince Harry to marry girlfriend Meghan Markle
> ... I wonder what first attracted her to multi-millionaire royal Harry?







*... let's forget the old one about women being attracted to a man in uniform ...*




*Good luck !*​


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 4, 2017)

hash tag said:


> I see it's happening on Saturday 26th May, so many will be getting Monday 28th off, which is a bank holiday





No additional Bank Holiday? What a con etc. etc. 

Oh well, at least we'll be at the Bearded Theory Festival so we can almost entirely avoid all this 'Big Royal Day' nonsense


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 4, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> grandad phil cutting the brake cables



Bit too old to get under the car, then make a quick getaway, nowadays!

Probably rope in that dopey cunt Edward to do it for him.


----------



## Riklet (Dec 5, 2017)

Just imagine if the press furore freaks her out and they have to call it off!


----------



## stavros (Dec 5, 2017)

Wikipedia says it'll be in May next year, but doesn't give a date. If you're reading this, Mr Hewitt, please do it on the 26th, as I have another wedding that day. Synchronising them will increase my chances of avoiding the mass fawning.


----------



## Louie Gabia (Dec 5, 2017)

I've already heard a public member call her the 'People's Meghan' on the radio. 
Good grief


----------



## stavros (Dec 5, 2017)

If Brenda and/or Phil can cark it at the same time, even better, as that'll help concentrate all the coverage.


----------



## DotCommunist (Dec 5, 2017)

stavros said:


> If Brenda and/or Phil can cark it at the same time, even better, as that'll help concentrate all the coverage.


nah man, spread it out for extra bank holidays.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 5, 2017)

Louie Gabia said:


> I've already heard a public member call her the 'People's Meghan' on the radio.
> Good grief


that won't go down well with harry hewitt who is notoriously possessive


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 5, 2017)

Last Friday (1st December) :




			
				hash tag said:
			
		

> I see it's happening on Saturday 26th May, so many will be getting Monday 28th off, which is a bank holiday



Today (Tuesday 5th December) :



stavros said:


> *Wikipedia says it'll be in May next year, but doesn't give a date. *If you're reading this, Mr Hewitt, please do it on the 26th, as I have another wedding that day. Synchronising them will increase my chances of avoiding the mass fawning.



hash tag ?? Was there a solid source for that date, or was it speculative? 

Must admit I didn't look for a source myself


----------



## Sue (Dec 5, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> nah man, spread it out for extra bank holidays.


Not that we're getting one for this bloody wedding.


----------



## 03gills (Dec 5, 2017)

Fucks me off every time this debate about 'extra bank holidays' comes about, completely ignoring huge swaths of UK workers who have to work most of them anyway, without extra pay.  


*FUCK*


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 5, 2017)

03gills said:


> Fucks me off every time this debate about 'extra bank holidays' comes about, completely ignoring huge swaths of UK workers who have to work most of them anyway, without extra pay.
> 
> 
> *FUCK*



Hang on, even as a lucky Civil Servant, I still wear my Union hat and think that *+EVERY+*  worker everywhere should be paid extra for Bank Holidays (or at the very least have TOIL for them). 

Lets not divide and let others rule here ...


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 5, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Hang on, even as a lucky Civil Servant, I still wear my Union hat and think that *+EVERY+*  worker everywhere should be paid extra for Bank Holidays (or at the very least have TOIL for them).
> 
> Lets not divide and let others rule here ...



William, you thinking that and hoping it to become true is all that is though. 

Many, many workers don't have a sniff at BH days off or extra time etc.

Pointing that out isn't dividing anyone it's speaking truth... Don't get defensive, get even, how can we achieve those workers rights for all? That should be the aim, not conceding so defensively and asking for the facts not to be discussed openly.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 5, 2017)

I absolutely do know all that, and generally agree.
What else can I do though?
We all know who the *real* enemies are with all this though surely?

No time for more today ...


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 6, 2017)

03gills said:


> Fucks me off every time this debate about 'extra bank holidays' comes about, completely ignoring huge swaths of UK workers who have to work most of them anyway, without extra pay.
> 
> 
> *FUCK*



The time and a half or double time for working Bank Holidays and even Weekends seems to have died a death in the last 20 years and thats honestly depressing considering how much more society seems to be forcing people to work those days.


----------



## stavros (Dec 6, 2017)

DotCommunist said:


> nah man, spread it out for extra bank holidays.



I think, to both celebrate the union and mourn passing of two national treasures, we should get a lot more than one day.


----------



## GarveyLives (Dec 9, 2017)

*It will be interesting to see exactly what she brings to the monarchy.*​


----------



## Sue (Dec 9, 2017)

GarveyLives said:


> *It will be interesting to see exactly what she brings to the monarchy.*​



What's your point? She's an actor who's done sex scenes. So what?


----------



## GarveyLives (Dec 10, 2017)

*Actually ...*



Sue said:


> What's your point? She's an actor who's done sex scenes. So what?
























*... what exactly is the point of any of them?*​


----------



## Sue (Dec 10, 2017)

I hate the royal family but that wasn't my question. Which was why you were posting a clip of Meghan Markle in a TV sex scene with the comment you did. And why you're now posting pictures of her in skimpy clothing. 

Why not just come out and say whatever it is you're thinking?


----------



## cybershot (Dec 15, 2017)

19th May, book your holidays abroad now.


----------



## cybershot (Dec 15, 2017)

Oh, and clashes with the FA Cup Final.  Good luck with public transport if teams from outside London get into the final.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 15, 2017)

cybershot said:


> Oh, and clashes with the FA Cup Final.  Good luck with public transport if teams from outside London get into the final.



I take it the president of the FA will be at the most important match of the year


----------



## sealion (Dec 15, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I take it the president of the FA will be at the most important match of the year


It's only 20 minutes on the Jubilee line from his gaff. He could do both!


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 15, 2017)

GarveyLives said:


> *It will be interesting to see exactly what she brings to the monarchy.*​



Once you've read procopius's "secret history" about the byzantine emperor justinian and his wife theodora the prurient nudge nudge of your suggestions is by comparison of scant interest. But you need not look back to the sixth century. Edward vii's love life when he was Prince of Wales was considerably more er energetic  than either William or harry's. W & H by contrast really rather dull


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 15, 2017)

cybershot said:


> 19th May, book your holidays abroad now.




I never thought that hash tag 's earlier post, that the RW would be on Sat 26th May next year, was a confirmed thing 

This BBC link confirms Saturday 19th May will be the date. Not a Bank Holiday w/e, no additional BH, and the weekend _before_ we go away to Bearded Theory. Royalty are shit , refusing to sort their big days around my personal convenience 

We'll have to go rural walking in Wales (if the weather's good), for maximum media sycophancy avoidance


----------



## Gromit (Dec 15, 2017)

Proof that the royals aren't the same as the common man. 

What guy doesn't first check the footy fixtures before saying yeah okay honey that date looks good?


----------



## cupid_stunt (Dec 15, 2017)

What's footy?


----------



## Gromit (Dec 15, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


> What's footy?


It's the thing that some of your guests will go to when they apologise that they are ill and can't make your wedding.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 15, 2017)

Gromit said:


> Proof that the royals aren't the same as the common man.
> 
> What guy doesn't first check the footy fixtures before saying yeah okay honey that date looks good?



What you talking about, common man? His brother is the guvnor of the FA ffs. And a Villa fan, cos his great gran spoke with a Brummie accent on Spitting Image.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 15, 2017)

The FA cup final has long lost its prestige where the country stopped to watch it since they shifted the kick off to 5:30 in the afternoon. It’s just another sporting event now.

Load of bollocks.


----------



## dilute micro (Dec 15, 2017)

Harry livens up the royal family.  MM might be as awesome as Harry thinks she is.


----------



## dilute micro (Dec 15, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


> What's footy?


A game England used to play.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 16, 2017)

Justreading the article Date set for Harry and Meghan's wedding

and several paragraphs down is this -

_Ms Markle will be baptised into the Church of England and confirmed before the wedding._

Wtf? Why?


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 16, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> Justreading the article Date set for Harry and Meghan's wedding
> 
> and several paragraphs down is this -
> 
> ...



Fuck knows but I’m guessing it has something to do with royalty and CofE rules because omgz she’s a divorcee, and American, or something. 

I wonder how quick she gets her Brit citizenship and if she has to go through the same bullshit as my foreign wife just to live here with me. Bet not.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 16, 2017)

skyscraper101 said:


> Fuck knows but I’m guessing it has something to do with royalty and CofE rules because omgz she’s a divorcee, and American, or something.
> 
> I wonder how quick she gets her Brit citizenship and if she has to go through the same bullshit as my foreign wife just to live here with me. Bet not.



The weird thing is, she's being forced to change/adopt/convert to a new religion to join this strange royal cult and there's no commentary on it at all. Like it's normal.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 16, 2017)

Hoping for some more choice merchandise to mark the occasion too


----------



## Gromit (Dec 16, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> The weird thing is, she's being forced to change/adopt/convert to a new religion to join this strange royal cult and there's no commentary on it at all. Like it's normal.


The priest at the venue they've chosen will have insisted on the conversion not the royals themselves. 

This is standard if you want to get married in a church. Having to bullshit the priest that you are a good [insert religious denomination].


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Dec 16, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> The weird thing is, she's being forced to change/adopt/convert to a new religion to join this strange royal cult and there's no commentary on it at all. Like it's normal.



It's really not that unusual for religious people of different denominations to undergo* a bit of conversion if they want a church wedding. 

* go through the motions anyway


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 16, 2017)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> It's really not that unusual for religious people of different denominations to undergo* a bit of conversion if they want a church wedding.
> 
> * go through the motions anyway



I went through the motions (well,bricking it somewhat on the day) but there was no conversions foisted on me. Nothing against church/temple/etc weddings but to have to convert seems a bit archaic.


----------



## Gromit (Dec 16, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> I went through the motions (well,bricking it somewhat on the day) but there was no conversions foisted on me. Nothing against church/temple/etc weddings but to have to convert seems a bit archaic.


If you think that's archaic there are some priests who won't marry couples who have lived in sin first. Even though they are of faith they are not pure of faith. Computer says no.


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 16, 2017)

Did I pick up that Megan Markle was a Catholic by background, or have I made that up?


----------



## Guineveretoo (Dec 16, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> Justreading the article Date set for Harry and Meghan's wedding
> 
> and several paragraphs down is this -
> 
> ...


Because she can’t get married in church otherwise?


----------



## Guineveretoo (Dec 16, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> The weird thing is, she's being forced to change/adopt/convert to a new religion to join this strange royal cult and there's no commentary on it at all. Like it's normal.


It is normal, if you want to be married in a Church of England church/cathedral.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2017)

She’s Catholic, no? At least she went to a Catholic school.

They don’t have to butter up the vicar though, his nan’s the vicar’s guvnor and the church is inside her house.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 16, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> She’s Catholic, no? At least she went to a Catholic school.
> 
> They don’t have to butter up the vicar though, his nan’s the vicar’s guvnor and the church is inside her house.



She’s Protestant, according to wiki. But obviously she’s not CofE being American.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 16, 2017)

skyscraper101 said:


> She’s Protestant, according to wiki. But obviously she’s not CofE being American.


Yeh. You know the Anglican church has branches all over the world, right?


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 16, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> Yeh. You know the Anglican church has branches all over the world, right?



I am aware of that. According to the internet she’s part of the Episcopal church in America which is part of the Anglican Church, but for whatever reason she being baptised into the CofE.

No doubt that means the usual trad CofE hymns at the wedding though it’d be great if they’d mark the occasion with some American gospel choirs to liven it up.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 16, 2017)

skyscraper101 said:


> I am aware of that. According to the internet she’s part of the Episcopal church in America which is part of the Anglican Church, but for whatever reason she being baptised into the CofE.
> 
> No doubt that means the usual trad CofE hymns at the wedding though it’d be great if they’d mark the occasion with some American gospel choirs to liven it up.


It'd be even better if the usaf paid their tender attentions to this wedding party


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 16, 2017)

William of Walworth said:
			
		

> Did I pick up that Megan Markle was a Catholic by background, or have I made that up?






			
				Bahnhof Strasse said:
			
		

> She’s Catholic, no? At least she went to a Catholic school.
> 
> They don’t have to butter up the vicar though, his nan’s the vicar’s guvnor and the church is inside her house.





skyscraper101 said:


> She’s Protestant, according to wiki. But obviously she’s not CofE being American.



I was convinced I'd read there was a Catholic connection somewhere!!


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (Dec 16, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> They don’t have to butter up the vicar though, his nan’s the vicar’s guvnor and the church is inside her house.



Prince Charles couldn't get married in a CoE church when he married Camilla. When Princess Anne married for a second time it was in the Church of Scotland (who don't have the same divorce hang-ups as the more catholic churches tend to)


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2017)

TheHoodedClaw said:


> Prince Charles couldn't get married in a CoE church when he married Camilla. When Princess Anne married for a second time it was in the Church of Scotland (who don't have the same divorce hang-ups as the more catholic churches tend to)



Yeah, they have moved on to the next generation now so they’re merely 50 years behind the times now


----------



## cupid_stunt (Dec 16, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Yeah, they have moved on to the next generation now so they’re merely 50 years behind the times now



And yet still 50 years ahead of DUP types.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 17, 2017)

Harry's alright, and so is Meghan. They're just a young couple who were fortunate enough to be born into royalty/fame. They love each other. What's wrong with that? You bastards are so bitter.


----------



## BemusedbyLife (Dec 17, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Harry's alright, and so is Meghan. They're just a young couple who were fortunate enough to be born into royalty/fame. They love each other. What's wrong with that? You bastards are so bitter.


Actually nothing is wrong with that, but this is basically someone I don't know marrying someone else I don't know,  It's not his fault who his parents are  and I would wish them all the happiness in the world if I dis know them but I and pretty much everyone else don't really want to see a news story about this everyday come  on couples get married all the time, what's so special about this pair?
Plus we still haven't got a day off that I am bitter about.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 17, 2017)

BemusedbyLife said:


> Actually nothing is wrong with that, but this is basically someone I don't know marrying someone else I don't know,  It's not his fault who his parents are  and I would wish them all the happiness in the world if I dis know them but I and pretty much everyone else don't really want to see a news story about this everyday come  on couples get married all the time, what's so special about this pair?
> Plus we still haven't got a day off that I am bitter about.


So if you don't want to get involved then don't get involved. Nothing special and nothing to see here. Remember it was this forum who made it news here, not the couple in question.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 17, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Harry's alright, and so is Meghan. They're just a young couple who were fortunate enough to be born into royalty/fame. They love each other. What's wrong with that? You bastards are so bitter.



Do you think they're awesome, well so do many people but urban's not the place for that. I don't wish them any ill but sod it, they're two kids caught up in an archaic, dysfunctional relic from a pointless institution. Why the hero worship?


----------



## spanglechick (Dec 17, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> So if you don't want to get involved then don't get involved. Nothing special and nothing to see here. Remember it was this forum who made it news here, not the couple in question.


We have to be involved - we have to pay for it.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 17, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Harry's alright, and so is Meghan. They're just a young couple who were fortunate enough to be born into royalty/fame. They love each other. What's wrong with that? You bastards are so bitter.


A young couple? How auld are you, chuck?


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 17, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Harry's alright, and so is Meghan. They're just a young couple who were fortunate enough to be born into royalty/fame. They love each other. What's wrong with that? You bastards are so bitter.



Formerly banned returner, blatantly. 

And don't bother denying it or faking incomprehension. 

Oh yes, some additional advice : the usual form for your types is to either deny knowing what trolling is, or to say that people saying you're trolling are 'intolerent of different opinions' 

Urban's seen all that before, and has pretty definitely seen YOU before, as well


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 17, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Formerly banned returner, blatantly.
> 
> And don't bother denying it or faking incomprehension.
> 
> ...


In the auld days banned returners were more entertaining


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 17, 2017)

William of Walworth said:


> Formerly banned returner, blatantly.
> 
> And don't bother denying it or faking incomprehension.
> 
> ...


Don't moralise to me mate. This is a forum, not a bloody religion.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 18, 2017)

Pickman's model said:


> In the auld days banned returners were more entertaining


In the "old" days, so were the top posters...I've heard.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 18, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> In the "old" days, so were the top posters...I've heard.



Why do banned posters keep coming back?


----------



## William of Walworth (Dec 18, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Don't moralise to me mate. This is a forum, not a bloody religion.



 'Moralising'? 

You're a trolling banned returner  Just stating fact.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 18, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> Why do banned posters keep coming back?





William of Walworth said:


> 'Moralising'?
> 
> You're a trolling banned returner  Just stating fact.


Flattering of course that you think you know me from yore ... but the reality is ... I'm actually newish but don't like your smug attitudes and simply want to take the piss out of you.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 19, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Flattering of course that you think you know me from yore ... but the reality is ... I'm actually newish but don't like your smug attitudes and simply want to take the piss out of you.



I don't believe a word you say.

Why do returning banned posters always lie about who they are & why are they so desperate to post?

Why not just come out, first post and say - I used to be so and so. Sorry I was a dick, back in the day & let's try again.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 19, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> banned posters keep coming back





William of Walworth said:


> banned returner





krtek a houby said:


> returning banned posters.



What's with all this banned "returner" returning to post after being banned stuff?
Why are you so bothered by it anyway?
I don't think "returner" is a valid conjugation of the verb by the way.


----------



## 8ball (Dec 19, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Flattering of course that you think you know me from yore ... but the reality is ... I'm actually newish but don't like your smug attitudes and simply want to take the piss out of you.



Is there something in the FAQ's about being a generally tedious twat?


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 19, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> What's with all this banned "returner" returning to post after being banned stuff?
> Why are you so bothered by it anyway?
> I don't think "returner" is a valid conjugation of the verb by the way.



Bothered? More like amused. You're here to stir the shit and you'll be out on your ear sooner or later, I'll wager.


----------



## 8ball (Dec 19, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> Bothered? More like amused. You're here to stir the shit and you'll be out on your ear sooner or later, I'll wager.



Won't be long now.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 20, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> Bothered? More like amused. You're here to stir the shit and you'll be out on your ear sooner or later, I'll wager.


Actually, I take offence to being called every dick, prick, and sick thick shit under the sun. I suppose you would say, "that's urban"!!


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 20, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> Actually, I take offence to being called every dick, prick, and sick thick shit under the sun. I suppose you would say, "that's urban"!!



No, I'd say that's a troll who will soon be confirmed as a returned banned poster.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 20, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> No, I'd say that's a troll who will soon be confirmed as a returned banned poster.


There's that "returned banned" thing again. 
I've never heard the phrase "returned banned" before, except from you and a few others here. Which makes me wonder, how do you know if people have been banned multiple times? ... surely only "return banners" would know the phrase, "return banned", right?? Are you are "return banner" yourself perhaps?


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 20, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> There's that "returned banned" thing again.
> I've never heard the phrase "returned banned" before, except from you and a few others here. Which makes me wonder, how do you know if people have been banned multiple times? ... surely only "return banners" would know the phrase, "return banned", right?? Are you are "return banner" yourself perhaps?



Nope. Been posting here nearly 15 years.

You claim you've been lurking here a while. And suddenly up you pop, all troll like. And you target several well known posters, one of whom you seem to have previous beef with. You have all the hallmarks of someone who's been here before and departed under a cloud.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 20, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> Nope. Been posting here nearly 15 years.
> 
> You claim you've been lurking here a while. And suddenly up you pop, all troll like. And you target several well known posters, one of whom you seem to have previous beef with. You have all the hallmarks of someone who's been here before and departed under a cloud.


15 years! Might you have been better spending your energy elsewhere perhaps?
You seem to be the one with le boeuf mate...You're following me around like a fart.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 20, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> 15 years! Might you have been better spending your energy elsewhere perhaps?
> You seem to be the one with le boeuf mate...You're following me around like a fart.



Just want to see urban free from disruptive plums like you. Shit stirring, trolling fuckwits.

Anyways, that's this thread fucked. I'll leave you to it.


----------



## Coconutjob (Dec 20, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> Just want to see urban free from disruptive plums like you. Shit stirring, trolling fuckwits.
> 
> Anyways, that's this thread fucked. I'll leave you to it.


After 15 years, surely you know the thread will naturally right itself and that our li'l spat will be but a footnote in its history?
Seems to me that you are flouncing out of the conversation because you don't have an answer. I've seen this a few times. When the argument is lost, some people resort to name calling .. e.g. Disruptive plums. Shit stirring, trolling fuckwits. 
Come on mate! A couple of posts ago you were going to shit on my car or something equally masculine.


----------



## krtek a houby (Dec 20, 2017)

Coconutjob said:


> There's that "returned banned" thing again.
> I've never heard the phrase "returned banned" before, except from you and a few others here. Which makes me wonder, how do you know if people have been banned multiple times? ... surely only "return banners" would know the phrase, "return banned", right?? Are you are "return banner" yourself perhaps?


----------



## Mation (Dec 20, 2017)

krtek a houby said:


> View attachment 123447


----------



## DexterTCN (Dec 23, 2017)

Princess Michael wears 'racist' brooch to Queen's Christmas lunch attended by Meghan Markle


----------



## scifisam (Dec 23, 2017)

DexterTCN said:


> Princess Michael wears 'racist' brooch to Queen's Christmas lunch attended by Meghan Markle



I bet she thought she was being welcoming. See, I like black people, I even wear one on my chest!


----------



## Mation (Dec 23, 2017)

scifisam said:


> I bet she thought she was being welcoming. See, I like black people, I even wear one on my chest!


I'm pretty sure she knows she's a massive racist. I'm guessing she wanted to remind everyone of how things should really be.


----------



## scifisam (Dec 23, 2017)

Mation said:


> I'm pretty sure she knows she's a massive racist. I'm guessing she wanted to remind everyone of how things should really be.



That is definitely a possibility too.


----------



## stavros (Dec 23, 2017)

Thank fuck it misses the snooker, but I think I heard it'll clash with the Cup Final. Presumably the wedding will be relegated to the red button? Or CBeebies?


----------



## A380 (Dec 24, 2017)

stavros said:


> Thank fuck it misses the snooker, but I think I heard it'll clash with the Cup Final. Presumably the wedding will be relegated to the red button? Or CBeebies?


I don’t know why everyone keeps saying it clashes with the cup final? The cup final is on 26 May at Twickenham.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jan 3, 2018)

Lovely... 

Windsor council leader calls for removal of homeless before royal wedding


----------



## William of Walworth (Jan 3, 2018)

A380 said:


> I don’t know why everyone keeps saying it clashes with the cup final? The cup final is on 26 May *at Twickenham*.



Belatedly checked this, it should have jumped out at me when I liked your post before Xmas.

The FA Cup Final will be on Saturday 26th May 2018, correct (the Saturday of the late May Bank Holiday w/e, i.e. the w/e after the royal wedding as you said)

But at *WEMBLEY* !! 

(Twickenham = all the rugby stuff, but I'm sure you knew that really  )


----------



## ElizabethofYork (Jan 4, 2018)

Artaxerxes said:


> Lovely...
> 
> Windsor council leader calls for removal of homeless before royal wedding



Well, quite.  God forbid that the royals should have to witness such depravity and poverty.


----------



## not a trot (Jan 4, 2018)

ElizabethofYork said:


> Well, quite.  God forbid that the royals should have to witness such depravity and poverty.



As many homeless people as possible should turn up on the day.


----------



## likesfish (Jan 4, 2018)

there might actually be a problem with "professional" beggars being a  hassle but they won't be actually homeless or in need of help just rather evil shits. "the tax inspectors" were a few evil shits who hit on feeding their addictions by "taxing" other beggers in Brighton .


----------



## hash tag (Jan 4, 2018)

I took my daughter around the castle last week. Whilst wandering around she remarked along the lines of it being a big place for just a few people to live in and there was a lot of under used space.
there in lies the answer. Rehouse the homeless in the castle. Sorted.


----------



## stavros (Jan 4, 2018)

Buckingham Palace is just over 3 miles from the Grenfell Tower site, and would've served as temporary home for those displaced.


----------



## Dogsauce (Jan 6, 2018)

stavros said:


> Buckingham Palace is just over 3 miles from the Grenfell Tower site, and would've served as temporary home for those displaced.



They'll all be out when the wedding's on. Should sneak in and change the locks, stick a notice on the door.


----------



## stavros (Jan 14, 2018)

Exciting news, as the music for their first dance is announced as a duet between James Hewitt and Charles:


----------



## oryx (Jan 19, 2018)

Designer releases Harry and Meghan dolls that 'look nothing like them'


----------



## Calamity1971 (Jan 19, 2018)

oryx said:


> Designer releases Harry and Meghan dolls that 'look nothing like them'


He looks like one of the fab four .


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 14, 2018)

So....they've decided to not invite Pippa Middleton.

Could the "separated at birth twin factor" be why? 





Eta...not that I give a jot for the entire lot....sniff...lol


----------



## Sprocket. (May 14, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> Eta...not that I give a jot for the entire lot....sniff...lol



We believe you and so do the Lizard archivists just popping a cross by your entry in their big book of ‘Who to get first’!


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 14, 2018)

Sprocket. said:


> We believe you and so do the Lizard archivists just popping a cross by your entry in their big book of ‘Who to get first’!



Bring then on.	. I'm ready....


----------



## Ax^ (May 14, 2018)

So how many days till the fucking day itself

So think I can take more of the bullshit about this wedding


It's fucking worse than the golden kubalie


----------



## mrs quoad (May 14, 2018)

Her dad isn’t coming!!!!

Hold the front page.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 14, 2018)

Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs. 
Maybe cos Brenda is angry. Sorry, ANGRY ! 

Meghan Markle: Queen is ‘very ANGRY’ about father’s photos – this will be the consequence


----------



## MickiQ (May 14, 2018)

Ax^ said:


> So how many days till the fucking day itself
> 
> So think I can take more of the bullshit about this wedding
> 
> ...


It's on Saturday going to be on all day apparently from about 9 till about 3 in the afternoon on all channels so don't worry you won't miss anything and then there will be highlights in the evening.


----------



## stavros (May 14, 2018)

A380 said:


> I don’t know why everyone keeps saying it clashes with the cup final? The cup final is on 26 May at Twickenham.



I've now found out that the rugby Premiership semis on back-to-back on Saturday afternoon, and then followed by the Football Association Cup Final, so, after buying some food in the morning, that's my day sorted.

Also on offer is the biggest mountain stage of the Giro d'Italia.


----------



## Kaka Tim (May 14, 2018)

what would be the most offensive point of the proceedings to play the sex pistols very loud?


----------



## clicker (May 14, 2018)

I took up carpets on the day his mother got married. I hope to mark his wedding with the same level of interest.


----------



## Sprocket. (May 15, 2018)

Calamity1971 said:


> Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs.
> Maybe cos Brenda is angry. Sorry, ANGRY !
> 
> Meghan Markle: Queen is ‘very ANGRY’ about father’s photos – this will be the consequence



Because, as we all know, the Windsor clan are so fucking perfect.


----------



## A380 (May 15, 2018)




----------



## Reiabuzz (May 15, 2018)

this national handwringing over an overweight old man in mexico getting fitted for a non-existent suit is fucking brilliant. couldnt happen to a nicer bunch of fuckwits. why in god's name did they not have a minder on his ass.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 15, 2018)

Sprocket. said:


> Because, as we all know, the Windsor clan are so fucking perfect.


----------



## hash tag (May 15, 2018)

It's just so womantichttps://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39602&utm_source=lovehoney.com&utm_medium=redirect&utm_campaign=monetateRedirect

Lie back & think of england


----------



## bimble (May 15, 2018)

hash tag said:


> It's just so womantichttps://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39602&utm_source=lovehoney.com&utm_medium=redirect&utm_campaign=monetateRedirect
> 
> Lie back & think of england



"When the pack is opened, one is treated to an exclusive musical arrangement of God Save the Queen and The Star Spangled Banner.."


----------



## souljacker (May 15, 2018)

I feel a bit sorry for the dad. Its nerve wracking enough being someone important at a wedding, especially if (like me) the idea of being the center of attention for any amount of time fills you with the fear. Having to do that with a global audience would probably give me a heart attack.


----------



## MickiQ (May 15, 2018)

hash tag said:


> It's just so womantichttps://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39602&utm_source=lovehoney.com&utm_medium=redirect&utm_campaign=monetateRedirect
> 
> Lie back & think of england


Did they send a free sample to the happy couple?


----------



## dessiato (May 15, 2018)

hash tag said:


> It's just so womantichttps://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39602&utm_source=lovehoney.com&utm_medium=redirect&utm_campaign=monetateRedirect
> 
> Lie back & think of england


Some of that stuff's expensive.


----------



## Humirax (May 15, 2018)




----------



## DexterTCN (May 15, 2018)

£26000 for 2600 sausage rolls...£10 each.  Makes sense.

£50k for a cake, obviously.  Made of gold, I'm assuming.


----------



## MickiQ (May 15, 2018)

DexterTCN said:


> £26000 for 2600 sausage rolls...£10 each.  Makes sense.
> 
> £50k for a cake, obviously.  Made of gold, I'm assuming.


Either that or it's fucking enormous, is the whole country getting a piece?


----------



## DexterTCN (May 15, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Either that or it's fucking enormous, is the whole country getting a piece?


Ah no...we're getting the stuffing, they're getting the cake.  Also...might be £57k not £50k.  Can't forget the icing.

Austerity now, belt-tightening.  All in it together.

(also that day is my birthday, they're trying to ruin it)


----------



## xenon (May 15, 2018)

Why is the dad not going. i.e. what's he done wrong in posing for pap photos? I don't get it.


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 15, 2018)

xenon said:


> Why is the dad not going. i.e. what's he done wrong in posing for pap photos? I don't get it.



And, you care?


----------



## MickiQ (May 15, 2018)

I'm still thinking about the catering is it really £10 for a sausage roll or is it £10 per head for the catering (which is really good value well done there Liz) 
What the fuck can be in a sausage roll that makes it worth a tenner is there no Greggs in Windsor?


----------



## DexterTCN (May 15, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> I'm still thinking about the catering is it really £10 for a sausage roll or is it £10 per head for the catering (which is really good value well done there Liz)
> What the fuck can be in a sausage roll that makes it worth a tenner is there no Greggs in Windsor?


Peasants?


----------



## xenon (May 15, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> And, you care?




 Not really, just a niggling question .  Keep mentioningit on the news.


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 15, 2018)

xenon said:


> Not really, just a niggling question .  Keep mentioningit on the news.



I've banned myself from watching TV news, until it's safe again.

And, I am safe from radio news, as I only tend to listen to Radio Caroline, and they don't carry news, so that's a safe zone.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 15, 2018)

Harry's father won't be going either.


----------



## MickiQ (May 15, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Harry's father won't be going either.


Not surprised at those prices, my sister-in-law got the landlord of her local to put on a superb spread at just £7.50 a head for my Mum's 80th, I'm sure he can undercut £10 a sausage roll, I thought the Crown was all about value for money.


----------



## xenon (May 15, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> I've banned myself from watching TV news, until it's safe again.
> 
> And, I am safe from radio news, as I only tend to listen to Radio Caroline, and they don't carry news, so that's a safe zone.



My own fault, I had LBC on most of the morning...


----------



## cantsin (May 15, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Harry's father won't be going either.



caning the valium to cope with all the stress according to the Standard today, ( presumably with a 100K in his bin)


----------



## A380 (May 15, 2018)

bimble said:


> "When the pack is opened, one is treated to an exclusive musical arrangement of God Save the Queen and The Star Spangled Banner.."


All rise please for the National Anthem.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 15, 2018)

xenon said:


> Why is the dad not going. i.e. what's he done wrong in posing for pap photos? I don't get it.




Didn't he have a heart attack or similar?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 15, 2018)

A380 said:


> All rise please for the National Anthem.



Star Spangled Boner.


----------



## A380 (May 15, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Star Spangled Boner.


Oh come can you see?


----------



## Celyn (May 15, 2018)

Ax^ said:


> So how many days till the fucking day itself
> 
> So think I can take more of the bullshit about this wedding
> 
> ...


What is a kubalie?


----------



## MickiQ (May 15, 2018)

Celyn said:


> What is a kubalie?


Golden Jubilee in 2002 to celebrate Liz being on the throne for 50 yrs (must have been one hell of a curry), Our youngest was born that year and whilst a heavily pregnant Mrs MickiQ was stood in the queue at the Post Office apparently some old biddy came up to her and told her that if it was a girl (it was) we should name her Elizabeth after the Queen (we didn't)


----------



## mrs quoad (May 15, 2018)

Andrew Morton has had a stroke.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 15, 2018)

mrs quoad said:


> Andrew Morton has had a stroke.


Turned out nice again


----------



## A380 (May 15, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Either that or it's fucking enormous, is the whole country getting a piece?


Could I have a bit with not much iceing ?


----------



## Celyn (May 15, 2018)

A380 said:


> Could I have a bit with not much iceing ?



A good question, indeed. May there be not much icing for you, and may there not being the horrible marzipan for all.


----------



## Celyn (May 15, 2018)

Reiabuzz said:


> this national handwringing over an overweight old man in mexico getting fitted for a non-existent suit is fucking brilliant. couldnt happen to a nicer bunch of fuckwits. why in god's name did they not have a minder on his ass.


Does he have a donkey?


----------



## Celyn (May 16, 2018)

DexterTCN said:


> Ah no...we're getting the stuffing, they're getting the cake.  Also...might be £57k not £50k.  Can't forget the icing.
> 
> Austerity now, belt-tightening.  All in it together.
> 
> (also that day is my birthday, they're trying to ruin it)


My birthday is 28th June and I have a vague impression that it might be the anniversary of some unpleasant and really-not-fun thing.

Happy Early Birthday, DexterTCN


----------



## Badgers (May 16, 2018)




----------



## Mr.Bishie (May 16, 2018)




----------



## Yossarian (May 16, 2018)

I'm not sure what to make of all this stuff about Markle's father - is he likely to turn up at the wedding drunk and beat the shit out of Harry and/or Charles? Because that would mean I'd have to watch it...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 16, 2018)

Badgers said:


> View attachment 135464



That is made of awesome, what you got to do to win it, and if you do win it will it be filled with delicious chicken??


----------



## Badgers (May 16, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> That is made of awesome, what you got to do to win it, and if you do win it will it be filled with delicious chicken??


KFC


----------



## Badgers (May 16, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> That is made of awesome, what you got to do to win it, and if you do win it will it be filled with delicious chicken??


I want it SO bad


----------



## Slo-mo (May 16, 2018)

Part of me is tempted to watch, just because of the faint possibility of a no show from either party. 

Unlikely I know, but it would be the TV event of the century if one or the other was jilted at the altar.


----------



## Slo-mo (May 16, 2018)

Mr.Bishie said:


> View attachment 135465


I would actually keep the monarchy as a "least worst option". But around 30% of the population disagrees with me. 

It's a moot point how far schools should be indocrinatiing kids on this, given support for the monarchy is by no means universal.


----------



## A380 (May 16, 2018)

So glad I’m going to be in France from Friday...


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

Artaxerxes said:


> Lovely...
> 
> Windsor council leader calls for removal of homeless before royal wedding


----------



## A380 (May 16, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 135472


Royals and Tory council innit. Would anyone have expected anything different. I suspect belongings would need to be collected from Slough when it’s all over.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

A380 said:


> Royals and Tory council innit. Would anyone have expected anything different. I suspect belongings would need to be collected from Slough when it’s all over.


yeh. collected from slough. 'have a look in the dump, fellah, we don't have your gear here'.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

Celyn said:


> My birthday is 28th June and I have a vague impression that it might be the anniversary of some unpleasant and really-not-fun thing.
> 
> Happy Early Birthday, DexterTCN


----------



## billbond (May 16, 2018)

Humirax said:


>




Gammon


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

billbond said:


> Gammon


yeh as usual you find it impossible to engage with what someone's saying and so take refuge instead in commenting on their appearance. if you were to post up a picture of yourself i wouldn't be at all surprised to find you look more rubicund than martin does.


----------



## skyscraper101 (May 16, 2018)

I'm rather looking forward to it. I don't think you have to be a royal fan to get some enjoyment from this. Big televised events are great for being on the internet and watching the lols and memes roll in. It'll be like Eurovision except without all the shite music.

I'll be in front of the TV in my pyjamas. I'll fire up twitter and urban for the lols, sink a couple of cold ones. Then watch the FA cup.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

i thought that centre stage at the wedding would be taken by two adults: but there you go


----------



## taffboy gwyrdd (May 16, 2018)

I thought the nuptials were last weekend and that I'd done pretty well to escape the hype. Turns out I was wrong, not that I begrudge anyone getting married etc. but the level of fawning I have seen would make Stalin wince.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 16, 2018)

There is a weird slightly excited, slightly desperate air in Maidenhead at the moment.

Maidenhead is, basically, Windsor's poor relation. Sharing the council but not the tourism that Windsor generates, I mean tourists do come but mainly as a staging post on the way to one of Heston Blumenthal's gaffs.

There is bunting everywhere, the shops (well the one's that are still there in the High Street) are starting to get done out in red white and blue . Local facebook groups are full of how to get to Windsor to watch, why there isn't a big screen in Kidwell's park showing it live (there is one by the river) etc.. but it all has the feeling of a slightly overwrought second cousin turning up at the church when they haven't been invited to the reception.

I am in two minds about watching. I would have no interest if it wasn't in Windsor but it is just down the road plus there's the possibility that local dignitaries i.e local councillors including Simon "Cuddly" Dudley, will have apoplexy live on TV due to their fawning. Or interviews with local celebrities such as...erm...Timmy Mallet, Britain's Got Talent's Kevin Cruise and....Rolf


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

taffboy gwyrdd said:


> I thought the nuptials were last weekend and that I'd done pretty well to escape the hype. Turns out I was wrong, not that I begrudge anyone getting married etc. but the level of fawning I have seen would make Stalin wince.


stalin wouldn't have put up with a royal wedding.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

QueenOfGoths said:


> There is a weird slightly excited, slightly desperate air in Maidenhead at the moment.
> 
> Maidenhead is, basically, Windsor's poor relation. Sharing the council but not the tourism that Windsor generates, I mean tourists do come but mainly as a staging post on the way to one of Heston Blumenthal's gaffs.
> 
> ...


isn't theresa may a local celeb in maidenhead? or a local bigwig anyway?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 16, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> isn't theresa may a local celeb in maidenhead? or a local bigwig anyway?


Yes she is. Though maybe not as well know as Timmy Mallet.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Yes she is. Though maybe not as well know as Timmy Mallet.


not to mention she's without the political nous of timmy mallett


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 16, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> not to mention she's without the political nous of timmy mallett


That is very true. She has never painted a wheelie bin as a way of recycling them into...bins!

Painting the Wheelie Bins


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

QueenOfGoths said:


> That is very true. She has never painted a wheelie bin as a way of recycling them into...bins!
> 
> Painting the Wheelie Bins


if she painted something she'd be aiming for something like a caspar david friedrich but she'd produce something which would shame jackson pollock


----------



## dessiato (May 16, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 135481
> i thought that centre stage at the wedding would be taken by two adults: but there you go


I've no idea who these kids are. Do they belong to the other one, William and the girl who got her tits out at university?


----------



## MrSki (May 16, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> isn't theresa may a local celeb in maidenhead? or a local bigwig anyway?


Yeah but she lives in Sonning not Maidenhead. Sonning is famous for a statue of a bent spoon. A legacy of former resident Uri Geller.


----------



## MickiQ (May 16, 2018)

If you miss out on this Royal Wedding there's another one in October to look forward to

Wedding of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank - Wikipedia


----------



## MrSki (May 16, 2018)

MrSki said:


> Yeah but she lives in Sonning not Maidenhead. Sonning is famous for a statue of a bent spoon. A legacy of former resident Uri Geller.


It also has a postbox in a bridge.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

dessiato said:


> I've no idea who these kids are. Do they belong to the other one, William and the girl who got her tits out at university?


quite possibly, i didn't bother reading the article


----------



## MrSki (May 16, 2018)




----------



## taffboy gwyrdd (May 16, 2018)

All this fuss over whether the bride's dad will be there... I'd be more interested if the groom's was.


----------



## Slo-mo (May 16, 2018)

taffboy gwyrdd said:


> All this fuss over whether the bride's dad will be there... I'd be more interested if the groom's was.


Why wouldn't he be?


----------



## MickiQ (May 16, 2018)

Slo-mo said:


> Why wouldn't he be?


Charles might not be happy to see him?


----------



## Slo-mo (May 16, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Charles might not be happy to see him?


I had to Google to work out what you are on about, although there is a certain facial similarity I must admit.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)




----------



## skyscraper101 (May 16, 2018)

Hewitt looks more like Chris Morris than Prince Harry


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

skyscraper101 said:


> Hewitt looks more like Chris Morris than Prince Harry


it's quite possible that chris morris rather than harry hewitt is major hewitt's father


----------



## spanglechick (May 16, 2018)

Slo-mo said:


> I would actually keep the monarchy as a "least worst option". But around 30% of the population disagrees with me.
> 
> It's a moot point how far schools should be indocrinatiing kids on this, given support for the monarchy is by no means universal.


How does that make the point "moot"?


----------



## Slo-mo (May 16, 2018)

spanglechick said:


> How does that make the point "moot"?


I'm not sure I get you. It's clearly a moot point, because a substantial minority of Brits oppose the monarchy??


----------



## stavros (May 16, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 135481



Are there not press rules around photographing children of celebrities?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 16, 2018)

stavros said:


> Are there not press rules around photographing children of celebrities?


Dunno


----------



## DexterTCN (May 16, 2018)

stavros said:


> Are there not press rules around photographing children of celebrities?


Yup...6% cashback.


----------



## tim (May 16, 2018)

dessiato said:


> I've no idea who these kids are. Do they belong to the other one, William and the girl who got her tits out at university?





Presumably, if she was old enough to be at university, she would have been a woman not a girl. As to the activity refered to, why is it worth mentioning? Don't you think your post is rather sexist?


----------



## dessiato (May 16, 2018)

tim said:


> Presumably, if she was old enough to be at university, she would have been a woman not a girl. As to the activity refered to, why is it worth mentioning? Don't you think your post is rather sexist?


No.


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 17, 2018)

They are tipped to become the Duke and Duchess of Sussex after the wedding.


----------



## spanglechick (May 17, 2018)

Slo-mo said:


> I'm not sure I get you. It's clearly a moot point, because a substantial minority of Brits oppose the monarchy??


Well I never!  The word "moot" is one of those bizarre words that are their own opposite (contronyms).  

Moot can mean debatable or that there is no purpose debating it.  

Apologies.  I had only ever come across the idea of a moot point being something there was no point discussing.


----------



## billbond (May 17, 2018)

tim said:


> Presumably, if she was old enough to be at university, she would have been a woman not a girl. As to the activity refered to, why is it worth mentioning? Don't you think your post is rather sexist?



Agree yes it is sexist and lies as it did not happen


----------



## Slo-mo (May 17, 2018)

spanglechick said:


> Well I never!  The word "moot" is one of those bizarre words that are their own opposite (contronyms).
> 
> Moot can mean debatable or that there is no purpose debating it.
> 
> Apologies.  I had only ever come across the idea of a moot point being something there was no point discussing.


Strangely enough I've only ever come across it the other way around


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 17, 2018)

Slo-mo said:


> Strangely enough I've only ever come across it the other way around



It's also a medieval knees up.


----------



## billbond (May 17, 2018)

A party being arranged  where i live
No interest at all for me tbh but there again never been that interested in ordinary folks weddings that much.
Complete waste of money.
Mind free Pimms ive been told  so may show me face for a while


----------



## Badgers (May 17, 2018)

> Meghan Markle's half-sister, Samantha Grant, is reported to have been taken to hospital after being involved in a car crash following an alleged confrontation with paparazzi photographers.


Not going well thus far


----------



## Pickman's model (May 17, 2018)

Badgers said:


> Not going well thus far


samantha grant's diana quotient is dangerously high


----------



## Ralph Llama (May 17, 2018)

I should imagine a series of evictions, on anarchist  squats and sites, in a 400 miles radius is taking place


----------



## mrs quoad (May 17, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> They are tipped to become the Duke and Duchess of Sussex after the wedding.


Ha ha ha. 

Having moved from Cambridge to York, it’s time someone else landed a shitheap royal!


----------



## Badgers (May 17, 2018)




----------



## Calamity1971 (May 17, 2018)

Liverpool bar throwing F*** the Royals party during Royal Wedding

The Duke Street venue is hosting a F*** the Royals party on Saturday to raise money for local food banks.


----------



## William of Walworth (May 17, 2018)

Sycophants at my work place were today hanging nauseating qauntities of cheap shit  "bunting" around their desks, with a big 'Royal Wedding Tea Party' planned for some sections on Friday afternoon, 18th.

Cake, tea?  
Confine all that bollocks to the privacy of your own pubs, so long as they're nowhere near me 
Then at least you'd have the excuse of using the 'national celebrations' (R, TM, BBC etc) as an excuse to get absolutely wankered 

And the above from me is from someone getting grumpy with people at work sycophanting away at work on a Friday, when I won't even be there. Thank fuck for that .....


----------



## William of Walworth (May 17, 2018)

I'm predicting though that in Glastonbury, where we plus van will be on Saturday, there won't be public royal couple parties** of the traditional kind  

**Sycophantograms?


----------



## billbond (May 18, 2018)

William of Walworth said:


> Sycophants at my work place were today hanging nauseating qauntities of cheap shit  "bunting" around their desks, with a big 'Royal Wedding Tea Party' planned for some sections on Friday afternoon, 18th.
> 
> Cake, tea?
> Confine all that bollocks to the privacy of your own pubs, so long as they're nowhere near me
> ...



Im with you on this
I bet its hard bottling it all up how you really feel to keep the peace.
In some ways thank god its on a week end and you can do things to get away from all this stuff.
I will be accused of being miserable but i would not be that excited if i even knew them tbh
A bloke where i work is 48 and his all involved in it, his even got cuttings and said he is going to Buy every newspaper there is the day after it !
I suppose  its not hurting anybody, just find it strange to have that amount of interest.
Would be interested to know how much it all cost.


----------



## Poi E (May 18, 2018)

That cunting bunting and the imperial flag is being thrown up by neighbours near me who should know better.


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 18, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> View attachment 135472
> *Police officers REMOVE sleeping bags and belongings of homeless people living on streets outside Windsor Castle - but promise to return them after the royal wedding*



So, why aren't they doing the same to all these royal supporting nutters that are sleeping out?


----------



## Edie (May 18, 2018)

I’m quite looking forward to seeing her dress


----------



## bimble (May 18, 2018)

My sister's wedding is the weekend after this and am saving all my rolleyes for that, where i'll be required to dress up and join in.. This one of complete strangers doesn't bother me at all by comparison, and no chance of any bunting bollocks round here.


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 18, 2018)

Edie said:


> I’m quite looking forward to seeing her dress



*puts Edie on ignore* 



bimble said:


> bunting bollocks



Oh, I wish you could buy that, I would string that up as my protest.


----------



## bimble (May 18, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> So, why aren't they doing the same to all these royal supporting nutters that are sleeping out?


http://newsthump.com/2018/05/17/win...draping-union-jacks-over-their-sleeping-bags/


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 18, 2018)

bimble said:


> http://newsthump.com/2018/05/17/win...draping-union-jacks-over-their-sleeping-bags/



That's funny, because after posting my previous comment, I thought that if lived near Windsor I would buy some Union Jacks & give them to the homeless, so they could blend in with the eejits.


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 18, 2018)

Oh, you can buy bollocks bunting, but I can't get it delivered in time now. 



Spoiler: Bollocks bunting


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2018)

bimble said:


> My sister's wedding is the weekend after this and am saving all my rolleyes for that, where i'll be required to dress up and join in.. This one of complete strangers doesn't bother me at all by comparison, and no chance of any bunting bollocks round here.


So your sister’s wedding clashes with the real cup final?


----------



## bimble (May 18, 2018)

A380 said:


> So your sister’s wedding clashes with the real cup final?


I have no clue but if it means all nearby pubs I might have run off to for a moments peace will be full of football that’s bad news.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (May 18, 2018)

Poi E said:


> That cunting bunting and the imperial flag is being thrown up by neighbours near me who should know better.


Cunting bunting


----------



## Badgers (May 18, 2018)




----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 18, 2018)

I can't believe our national television broadcasters are gurgling deferentially about the wedding.  .they are fressed uo wearing fecking tophats and wondering "what will she wear?"
It's all..."Ooh...let's dress up" and have cocktails and get an etiquette expert to show us all how we should sit or eat in the presence of royals.

I vomitted some of my breakfast up.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 18, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> I can't believe our national television broadcasters are gurgling deferentially about the wedding.  .they are fressed uo wearing fecking tophats and wondering "what will she wear?"
> It's all..."Ooh...let's dress up" and have cocktails and get an etiquette expert to show us all how we should sit or eat in the presence of royals.
> 
> I vomitted some of my breakfast up.


etiquette experts show how you should behave to royalty


----------



## Pickman's model (May 18, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> They are tipped to become the Duke and Duchess of Sussex after the wedding.


i wonder if the queen is a fan of michael moorcock


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 18, 2018)

> A pub has forbidden all talk of the royal wedding and if you do mention Prince Harry and Meghan Markle a charity box will be "shook at you".
> 
> Anna Dyson-Edge, landlady of the Alexandra Hotel in Derby, said the ban was for the benefit of her regulars who are sick of hearing about the event.
> 
> "We thought we'd give them somewhere to come to not hear about it," she said.



Royal wedding talk 'forbidden' at pub


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 18, 2018)

Easyjet's home page...


----------



## MickiQ (May 18, 2018)

Every time we go on holiday, Mrs MickIQ harvests the sick bags from the plane for future use, this sideshow has burned up years worth of her good work.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 18, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Every time we go on holiday, Mrs MickIQ harvests the sick bags from the plane for future use, this sideshow has burned up years worth of her good work.


next time there's a royal wedding, please put in an early bid to do the catering, esp if you can communicate the emetick nature of the event to the participants.


----------



## scifisam (May 18, 2018)

Ralph Llama said:


> I should imagine a series of evictions, on anarchist  squats and sites, in a 400 miles radius is taking place



That's the entirety of England plus a bit.


----------



## Badgers (May 18, 2018)




----------



## Pickman's model (May 18, 2018)

scifisam said:


> That's the entirety of England plus a bit.


and wales and much of france and ireland


----------



## Pickman's model (May 18, 2018)

Badgers said:


>



a sign in the window for harry hewitt's attention i see


----------



## Wilf (May 18, 2018)

I'm going over to look after my Mum this weekend and she said she'd been invited to a bar-b-q on Sunday afternoon, did I want to come?  I said yes, happy that it left me free on _Saturday_ afternoon to watch the cup final. Got a text from her last night to say she'd got the day wrong, and the barbie _is_ Saturday afternoon.  For the next 3 seconds my brain processed this along the lines of 'yes, that's fine, should be away for 5.30 when the match starts'. Then suddenly the full horror hit me:

*IT'S A FUCKING ROYAL WEDDING BAR-B-Q!!!!   *


----------



## elbows (May 18, 2018)

Wilf said:


> I'm going over to look after my Mum this weekend and she said she'd been invited to a bar-b-q on Sunday afternoon, did I want to come?  I said yes, happy that it left me free on _Saturday_ afternoon to watch the cup final. Got a text from her last night to say she'd got the day wrong, and the barbie _is_ Saturday afternoon.  For the next 3 seconds my brain processed this along the lines of 'yes, that's fine, should be away for 5.30 when the match starts'. Then suddenly the full horror hit me:
> 
> *IT'S A FUCKING ROYAL WEDDING BAR-B-Q!!!!   *



I'm getting flashbacks to Lady Di's funeral when my boss at the time refused to shut the computer shop and we had a few desperate looking customers turn up with relief on their face that they had found somewhere open to shelter from the horror.

I suppose you could always try subverting the BBQ, dress the sausages up in royal garb, find a piece of chicken that you loudly swear contains the face of Oliver Cromwell, etc.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 18, 2018)

Wilf said:


> I'm going over to look after my Mum this weekend and she said she'd been invited to a bar-b-q on Sunday afternoon, did I want to come?  I said yes, happy that it left me free on _Saturday_ afternoon to watch the cup final. Got a text from her last night to say she'd got the day wrong, and the barbie _is_ Saturday afternoon.  For the next 3 seconds my brain processed this along the lines of 'yes, that's fine, should be away for 5.30 when the match starts'. Then suddenly the full horror hit me:
> 
> *IT'S A FUCKING ROYAL WEDDING BAR-B-Q!!!!   *


you should have got one of these


----------



## Wilf (May 18, 2018)

I may have to go with something low key, along the lines of this thread:
Urban 75 Informal Anarchist Actions

... perhaps getting _slightly_ grumpy about the lack of quinoa. Alternatively, if I really want to go for it I could call the Waldorf Salad a Romanov Salad and ask if there was any more in the cellar.


----------



## Sweet FA (May 18, 2018)

Matching his and hers gifts.


----------



## flypanam (May 18, 2018)

I think George will be left alone with the matches, thus  burning the chapel to the ground. Everyone dead. No great loss.


----------



## Sweet FA (May 18, 2018)

flypanam said:


> George


----------



## MickiQ (May 18, 2018)

Wilf said:


> I'm going over to look after my Mum this weekend and she said she'd been invited to a bar-b-q on Sunday afternoon, did I want to come?  I said yes, happy that it left me free on _Saturday_ afternoon to watch the cup final. Got a text from her last night to say she'd got the day wrong, and the barbie _is_ Saturday afternoon.  For the next 3 seconds my brain processed this along the lines of 'yes, that's fine, should be away for 5.30 when the match starts'. Then suddenly the full horror hit me:
> 
> *IT'S A FUCKING ROYAL WEDDING BAR-B-Q!!!!   *


We feel your pain Wilf


----------



## Badgers (May 18, 2018)




----------



## Badgers (May 18, 2018)




----------



## Badgers (May 18, 2018)




----------



## MickiQ (May 18, 2018)

elbows said:


> I'm getting flashbacks to Lady Di's funeral when my boss at the time refused to shut the computer shop and we had a few desperate looking customers turn up with relief on their face that they had found somewhere open to shelter from the horror.
> 
> I suppose you could always try subverting the BBQ, dress the sausages up in royal garb, find a piece of chicken that you loudly swear contains the face of Oliver Cromwell, etc.


Her death is genuinely one of those you always remember where you were moments for us. We were on holiday at Centre Parcs when she pegged it, We got up the next morning and turned on the telly and it was on every frigging channel, As Mrs MickiQ was getting out the cereal, our then 9 year old eldest came out of the bedroom and noticed the telly and asked us what was happening.
"Princess DIana is dead" says Mum, eldest shrugs and then noticed something else.
"Mum, Dad look there's a squirrel on the patio!"
Didn't spoil our holiday one bit, We had a great time, we came home the day before the funeral, can't remember what we did on the Saturday but given the amount of dirty clothes that three kids under 10 can generate I suspect we busy washing stuff.


----------



## Calamity1971 (May 18, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Mum, Dad look there's a squirrel on the patio!"


Reminds me of the dog in UP


----------



## Wilf (May 18, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Her death is genuinely one of those you always remember where you were moments for us. We were on holiday at Centre Parcs when she pegged it, We got up the next morning and turned on the telly and it was on every frigging channel, As Mrs MickiQ was getting out the cereal, our then 9 year old eldest came out of the bedroom and noticed the telly and asked us what was happening.
> "Princess DIana is dead" says Mum, eldest shrugs and then noticed something else.
> "Mum, Dad look there's a squirrel on the patio!"
> Didn't spoil our holiday one bit, We had a great time, we came home the day before the funeral, can't remember what we did on the Saturday but given the amount of dirty clothes that three kids under 10 can generate I suspect we busy washing stuff.


I managed to find a pub with no telly. Turned out there were a good few there for that reason, not particularly ardent anti-monarchists , just wanted to get away from the whole shit-pageant.


----------



## Badgers (May 18, 2018)




----------



## twentythreedom (May 18, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> View attachment 135675
> 
> 
> 
> Royal wedding talk 'forbidden' at pub


I've been to that pub, recently, it's a fine boozer. Good work, landlady


----------



## Badgers (May 18, 2018)




----------



## J Ed (May 18, 2018)

I don't know what you lot are complaining about, animal novelty weddings are great. I love dog weddings, and lizard weddings are good as well.


----------



## Quote (May 18, 2018)

It's like living in North Korea, every channel, every radio station, every newspaper - all you hear about is these inbred cretins and that godforsaken wedding.


----------



## J Ed (May 18, 2018)

Quote said:


> It's like living in North Korea, every channel, every radio station, every newspaper - all you hear about is these inbred cretins and that godforsaken wedding.



Try not turning on the TV, works well for me.


----------



## bimble (May 18, 2018)

Only place I keep having to be reminded of it is bloody here, top of recent posts list all day


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 18, 2018)

Quote said:


> It's like living in North Korea, every channel, every radio station, every newspaper - all you hear about is these inbred cretins and that godforsaken wedding.



Not every radio station, Radio Caroline has been totally Royal Wedding free, so far.


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 18, 2018)

I was going to post something on here that It is s truly a great idea but it would have mi5, special branch, cI5 and frank cannon on my case like a shot


----------



## moochedit (May 18, 2018)

It's easy to avoid it if you live on your own. It'll probably be over by the time i get up tommorow anyway.


----------



## moochedit (May 18, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> View attachment 135755 I was going to post something on here that It is s truly a great idea but it would have mi5, special branch, cI5 and frank cannon on my case like a shot


*reports post to mi5 handlers*


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (May 18, 2018)

bimble said:


> Only place I keep having to be reminded of it is bloody here, top of recent posts list all day



Performative republicanism, innit.


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2018)

Hopefully 20 mins till I’m here 



And not back till Sunday.


----------



## binka (May 18, 2018)

I enjoyed The Windsors Royal Wedding special the other night


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2018)

binka said:


> I enjoyed The Windsors Royal Wedding special the other night


That was ace. I missed the series but will go back and watch it now!


----------



## binka (May 18, 2018)

A380 said:


> That was ace. I missed the series but will go back and watch it now!


Paul Kaye as the tramp catcher was a particular highlight


----------



## A380 (May 18, 2018)

binka said:


> Paul Kaye as the tramp catcher was a particular highlight


The romance between Corbyn and Beatrice was mine.


----------



## crossthebreeze (May 18, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> Her death is genuinely one of those you always remember where you were moments for us. We were on holiday at Centre Parcs when she pegged it, We got up the next morning and turned on the telly and it was on every frigging channel, As Mrs MickiQ was getting out the cereal, our then 9 year old eldest came out of the bedroom and noticed the telly and asked us what was happening.
> "Princess DIana is dead" says Mum, eldest shrugs and then noticed something else.
> "Mum, Dad look there's a squirrel on the patio!"
> Didn't spoil our holiday one bit, We had a great time, we came home the day before the funeral, can't remember what we did on the Saturday but given the amount of dirty clothes that three kids under 10 can generate I suspect we busy washing stuff.


I was a drunk teenager trying to get home from a nightclub, and we were in the taxi office and it came on the radio that she had died, and I laughed or said something offensive (I can't remember), and got chucked out of the office and had to walk several miles home, so I remember it.


----------



## stavros (May 18, 2018)

binka said:


> I enjoyed The Windsors Royal Wedding special the other night



It's not bad. I'd prefer it if they properly laid into Brenda too. There's the odd reference to Phil's racism and bigotry, but nothing on his missus.


----------



## binka (May 18, 2018)

stavros said:


> It's not bad. I'd prefer it if they properly laid into Brenda too. There's the odd reference to Phil's racism and bigotry, but nothing on his missus.


Yeah it's not exactly savage but I think it's meant to be silly rather than a biting satire


----------



## scifisam (May 18, 2018)

I liked the Windsors thing too. It's the only thing I have liked really. I haven't hated the coverage but am not really interested. I suppose him marrying a mixed-race divorcee immigrant is a good thing in a representative way but other than that it's got a bit out of hand.



stavros said:


> It's not bad. I'd prefer it if they properly laid into Brenda too. There's the odd reference to Phil's racism and bigotry, but nothing on his missus.



Bit difficult to think of anything she's done wrong - I'm not counting that Nazi salute photo when she was a small child, cos, you know, small child.


----------



## stavros (May 18, 2018)

scifisam said:


> Bit difficult to think of anything she's done wrong - I'm not counting that Nazi salute photo when she was a small child, cos, you know, small child.



I suppose there's being married to a cunt for several decades could be satirised. Plus there's the opportunity to portray her world-class waving skills.


----------



## scifisam (May 18, 2018)

stavros said:


> I suppose there's being married to a cunt for several decades could be satirised. Plus there's the opportunity to portray her world-class waving skills.



Yeah, the marriage thing could come up, true. So many people respect her in a way different to the others that it would go badly for the writers though. Also Phil, if it was broadcast just before he died, if he ever does.

I love their Princess Ann. The only royal who really wanted to go to Gordonstoun  Have only caught a couple of episodes - should look more up.


----------



## frogwoman (May 19, 2018)

The Rumors About Prince Harry’s Paternity That Never Die
- This article heavily implies the rumours might be true.


----------



## gentlegreen (May 19, 2018)

We'll have to wait and see if he goes bald...


----------



## gentlegreen (May 19, 2018)

I was thinking earlier about the parallels - Nazi sympathies, marrying an American divorcee ..


----------



## sealion (May 19, 2018)

gentlegreen said:


> We'll have to wait and see if he goes bald...




In that case, i hope he still has a full head of hair at sixty!


----------



## gentlegreen (May 19, 2018)

Actually turns out he is - never paid much attention.
His brother is going downhill fast - turning into his father ...


----------



## TheHoodedClaw (May 19, 2018)

gentlegreen said:


> We'll have to wait and see if he goes bald...



The very next post you make shows him with a thinning thatch!


----------



## rekil (May 19, 2018)

Release the kraken.


----------



## Badgers (May 19, 2018)

There is no Danny Baker  

It has gone too far now


----------



## TopCat (May 19, 2018)

I have a little device ready I bought off interweb. Universal remote control. It turns all tv's OFF with one press of the red button.


----------



## A380 (May 19, 2018)

A380 said:


> Hopefully 20 mins till I’m here
> 
> View attachment 135759
> 
> And not back till Sunday.




Dedicated all day programming. With a studio panel and at least six corespondents in Windsor. In French. 

Bollocks


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 19, 2018)

A380 said:


> Dedicated all day programming. With a studio panel and at least six corespondents in Windsor. In French.
> 
> Bollocks
> 
> ...


We saw some similar scenes of union jack bedecked people on the telly earlier to which I responded "They really are mad" at which the small one looked up and replied "....I wish I'd never seen them!"


----------



## Grump (May 19, 2018)

The headline on the BBC website is ' Wedding Fever Mounts as Harry To Wed Meghan' which I always see as ' Wedding Fever as Harry To Mount Meghan'.


----------



## Ted Striker (May 19, 2018)

My mate (groom) was due to get married today, but pulled out 6 weeks ago citing cold feet (with all the drama that entails).

All i think of when seeing this build up, is how much she (the ex bride-to-be) must be loving it


----------



## A380 (May 19, 2018)

Ted Striker said:


> My mate (groom) was due to get married today, but pulled out 6 weeks ago citing cold feet (with all the drama that entails).
> 
> All i think of when seeing this build up, is how much she (the ex bride-to-be) must be loving it


Poor woman.


----------



## tommers (May 19, 2018)

My kids want to watch it. It's making me feel a bit sick. And angry and a bit embarrassed. It's a heady mixture.


----------



## A380 (May 19, 2018)




----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

bimble said:


> Only place I keep having to be reminded of it is bloody here, top of recent posts list all day


----------



## eatmorecheese (May 19, 2018)

I have no news websites open and no TV on. Great.

Then my phone pings: NEWS UPDATE: Harry arrives at church.

Ffs. No escape 

*Switches phone off*


----------



## chilango (May 19, 2018)

Presumably somebody's already posted this



Spoiler: Joyous Scenes


----------



## not a trot (May 19, 2018)

Nice day for clearing the drains then watch the footie.


----------



## Wilf (May 19, 2018)

Wilf said:


> I'm going over to look after my Mum this weekend and she said she'd been invited to a bar-b-q on Sunday afternoon, did I want to come?  I said yes, happy that it left me free on _Saturday_ afternoon to watch the cup final. Got a text from her last night to say she'd got the day wrong, and the barbie _is_ Saturday afternoon.  For the next 3 seconds my brain processed this along the lines of 'yes, that's fine, should be away for 5.30 when the match starts'. Then suddenly the full horror hit me:
> 
> *IT'S A FUCKING ROYAL WEDDING BAR-B-Q!!!!   *


An update on my anti-wedding manoeuvres: my mum is watching it on the telly.  _I've gone in the other room_, yeah take that! I'm also playing heavy metal, though not very loud. Wouldn't want to be rude.


----------



## Wilf (May 19, 2018)

I'm now eating pringles, but quite scornfully.


----------



## Kaka Tim (May 19, 2018)

Pistols dutifully played at full blast with windows wide open and me bellowing "england's dreaming". One must uphold these proud traditions.


----------



## billbond (May 19, 2018)

somebody posted their  front room


----------



## steveo87 (May 19, 2018)

Hewitt's wank stash?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

billbond said:


> somebody posted their  front room


bloody hoarders


----------



## twentythreedom (May 19, 2018)

That preacher banged on a bit


----------



## MickiQ (May 19, 2018)

billbond said:


> somebody posted their  front room


This person needs help badly, another reason to be critical of this Govt cutting back on mental health spending.


----------



## moochedit (May 19, 2018)

Is it safe to turn the telly on yet?


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Is it safe to turn the telly on yet?


No


----------



## Dogsauce (May 19, 2018)

Briefly forgot this was going on and opened the BBC news app. I wouldn’t advise it.

Fifteen, yes FIFTEEN wedding-related stories before a single piece of actual news (the Cuban plane crash) followed by several other articles/features relating to it. Ffs. Should be a button to turn this crap off.


----------



## moochedit (May 19, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> No



cheers.


----------



## dessiato (May 19, 2018)

Best wedding I've seen all week,


Spoiler



Sheldon and Amy.


----------



## Epona (May 19, 2018)

dessiato said:


> Best wedding I've seen all week,
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...



You know she supports the IDF though and gives them a lot of money?


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 19, 2018)

moochedit said:


> Is it safe to turn the telly on yet?



Give it at least 24-36 hours, by then the bloody constant re-runs on the news will have fizzled out.


----------



## dessiato (May 19, 2018)

Epona said:


> You know she supports the IDF though and gives them a lot of money?


I just like TBBT


Spoiler: Confession



I once applied to join IDF. I was much younger and less wise at the time.


----------



## Edie (May 19, 2018)

Jesus Fucking Christ that preacher was hilarious  The faces of the establishment as he got more and more animated going on about fire and that was priceless. Couldn’t stop laughing throughout the whole thing


----------



## J Ed (May 19, 2018)

dessiato said:


> I just like TBBT
> 
> 
> Spoiler: Confession
> ...



Joining the IDF is a far, far lesser crime than liking The Big Bang Theory.


----------



## pogofish (May 19, 2018)

Dogsauce said:


> Briefly forgot this was going on and opened the BBC news app. I wouldn’t advise it.
> 
> Fifteen, yes FIFTEEN wedding-related stories before a single piece of actual news



I just did two washings and dug three hundred and twenty eight dandelions out of my garden - Did I miss something..?


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 19, 2018)

Oh, FFS, the rumours that Sussex was getting a Duke & Duchess have been prove correct.


----------



## A380 (May 19, 2018)

Wilf said:


> I'm now eating pringles, but quite scornfully.


This is one of the greatest acts of protest it has ever been my privilege to hear of.


----------



## MickiQ (May 19, 2018)

Dogsauce said:


> Briefly forgot this was going on and opened the BBC news app. I wouldn’t advise it.
> 
> Fifteen, yes FIFTEEN wedding-related stories before a single piece of actual news (the Cuban plane crash) followed by several other articles/features relating to it. Ffs. Should be a button to turn this crap off.


There is on myTV remote it's the green one in the top right corner, yours might be different but it will have one


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2018)

Philip Schofield lost the plot....talking about fairy tales...and little boys and girls watching this....hoping thatvsone day they could....Bali blah blah.



A380 said:


> This is one of the greatest acts of protest it has ever been my privilege to hear of.



I had 2 double decker bars...and a can of coke...sugar rush is really fantastic now...


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 19, 2018)

PippinTook, I am amazed that you got sucked into this nonsense.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> PippinTook, I am amazed that you got sucked into this nonsense.


PippinTook i'm not


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2018)

I did like the gospel choir... 
And Etta James arrangement of This Little Light Of Mine.... massive human rights song.

Pity the homeless of Windsor weren't there to hear it...


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> I did like the gospel choir...
> And Etta James arrangement of This Little Light Of Mine.... massive human rights song.
> 
> Pity the homeless of Windsor weren't there to hear it...


why should the homeless of windsor have had to put up with the lickspittle hordes?


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> PippinTook, I am amazed that you got sucked into this nonsense.



Well.  I'm a guest and the mother of the house was watching bits of it. I got roped in at the end to watch a bit. I needed the 2 bars of double decker to stuff my face and get me through it.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> why should the homeless of windsor have had to put up with the lickspittle hordes?


I was really pointing out the hypocrisy of the human rights song being sung whilst the homeless were turned out without a thought


----------



## binka (May 19, 2018)

We watched it because there was nothing else on and I wanted to see if something happened... At one point one of the horses looked a bit flighty but nothing came of it


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> I was really pointing out the hypocrisy of the human rights song being sung whilst the homeless were turned out without a thought


yeh. and you're only just realising the british establishment is rotten with hypocrisy.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

binka said:


> We watched it because there was nothing else on and I wanted to see if something happened... At one point one of the horses looked a bit flighty but nothing came of it


the weather's lovely today. you could have been sitting outside, perhaps outside a pub. chatting or simply getting pissed.


----------



## binka (May 19, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> the weather's lovely today. you could have been sitting outside, perhaps outside a pub. chatting or simply getting pissed.


Going to the pub in half an hour for food then football then a gig so no worries there


----------



## MickiQ (May 19, 2018)

The MickIQ household has been largely successful at avoiding it so far, my son volunteered to work overtime today so he was gone early this morning and is still gone for that matter.
Youngest daughter has her first Maths exam on Thursday so she and her mother (who is also her Maths teacher) have taken advantage of the nice weather to sit out on the patio and revise,
after about 20 mins they were joined by my daughters Indian classmate from across the road which left me looking out of the french doors at a racially mixed all female group studying Maths.
It occurred to me that on a scale of social progressiveness this probably rates a lot higher than a Royal Wedding.
To avoid both the Wedding and the far more serious possibility that I might be accused of distraction, I cleaned the bathroom and went for a long walk where a passing paramedic  nearly gave me a
heart attack by turning on his siren when he was 20 yards behind me.


----------



## elbows (May 19, 2018)

On days like these I find tv helper bot to be strangely compelling.


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> yeh. and you're only just realising the british establishment is rotten with hypocrisy.



Ummm......
No. I knew that from the age of 3...


I think having the gospel choir singing a well known human rights song is hypocritical considering one of the married couple (Meghan) was not royalty and she must have known that people were wiped off the streets of Windsor to accommodate her wedding.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> Ummm......
> No. I knew that from the age of 3...
> 
> 
> I think having the gospel choir singing a well known human rights song is hypocritical considering one of the married couple (Meghan) was not royalty and she must have known that people were wiped off the streets of Windsor to accommodate her wedding.


did you think the battenberg saxe coburg gothas would allow someone not stained deep in hypocrisy to join their nefandous clan?


----------



## moochedit (May 19, 2018)

cupid_stunt said:


> Give it at least 24-36 hours, by then the bloody constant re-runs on the news will have fizzled out.



I'm in the garden getting pissed and having a ( not wedding related) bbq now so it's all good. Managed to avoid it


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 19, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> did you think the battenberg saxe coburg gothas would allow someone not stained deep in hypocrisy to join their nefandous clan?



Fair point


----------



## elbows (May 19, 2018)

OK thats it I'm done now, honest.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 19, 2018)

I went to a photo exhibition at the Barbican about outsider subcultures which was recommended to me and was better than I thought -  not voyeuristic stuff. Quite expensive mind you but then it’s the Barbican. Then I had a wander around in the sun, did some casual street photography, had some lunch, and came back to a pub to find that the wedding was over and the football hadn’t begun, which was a double result.

However they left the telly on and now there’s a fawning BBC bulletin about it all  I thought I’d managed to stay unsullied.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I went to a photo exhibition at the Barbican about outsider subcultures which was recommended to me and was better than I thought -  not voyeuristic stuff. Quite expensive mind you but then it’s the Barbican. Then I had a wander around in the sun, did some casual street photography, had some lunch, and came back to a pub to find that the wedding was over and the football hadn’t begun, which was a double result.
> 
> However they left the telly on and now there’s a fawning BBC bulletin about it all  I thought I’d managed to stay unsullied.



fridgemagnet recently


----------



## elbows (May 19, 2018)




----------



## A380 (May 19, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> did you think the battenberg saxe coburg gothas would allow someone not stained deep in hypocrisy to join their nefandous clan?


So, fan of the royals or not? It’s hard to tell.


----------



## kebabking (May 19, 2018)

A380 said:


> So, fan of the royals or not? It’s hard to tell.



i bet Pickman's model had radio 5 on and his twitter account set to #royalwedding the whole day. he may even have purchaced some special royal wedding underpants for the occasion...

personally i've been having a lovely walk on the Ceri Ridgeway on the Welsh border, suns out, not too hot, lots lots of nice views, very few people and lots of fresh air and quiet.


----------



## tommers (May 19, 2018)

Spent my day trying to fix the utter fucking mess I made of getting a wedged in plug out of a plug hole. Only took three of us, a completely new waste pipe and I think i might have  chipped a bone in my thumb getting the bloody sink back in the cabinet.

Still better than listening to Kay Burley going on about how much Harry and Megan really do care about their charity work.


----------



## iona (May 19, 2018)

I only heard about this the other day through people complaining on here (this shit should get its own temp forum now we can "Ignore Forum"  ) Only found it was today when my mum phoned last night and baffled me with a jokey "guess what I'll be doing tomorrow" type comment.

Probably wouldn't have needed to make any special effort to avoid it today but I'd already planned to go out for a walk on the South Downs


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 19, 2018)

Fuck it. I have diverted my drive home to Amsterdam to give me a days grace from this shit


----------



## sealion (May 19, 2018)

Is it safe to come out now ?


----------



## cupid_stunt (May 19, 2018)

iona said:


> I only heard about this the other day through people complaining on here (this shit should get its own temp forum now we can "Ignore Forum"  )



You can also click 'ignore thread', rather than replying to one.


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

sealion said:


> Is it safe to come out now ?


Best leave it a year or two


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

tommers said:


> Spent my day trying to fix the utter fucking mess I made of getting a wedged in plug out of a plug hole. Only took three of us, a completely new waste pipe and I think i might have  chipped a bone in my thumb getting the bloody sink back in the cabinet.
> 
> Still better than listening to Kay Burley going on about how much Harry and Megan really do care about their charity work.


Sadness in their eyes


----------



## Pickman's model (May 19, 2018)

kebabking said:


> i bet Pickman's model had radio 5 on and his twitter account set to #royalwedding the whole day. he may even have purchaced some special royal wedding underpants for the occasion...
> 
> personally i've been having a lovely walk on the Ceri Ridgeway on the Welsh border, suns out, not too hot, lots lots of nice views, very few people and lots of fresh air and quiet.


No, I was at work all day


----------



## Wilf (May 19, 2018)

Didn't watch any of it live, but just heard the news with Huw Edwards and others arseholes going on about how this 'modernises' the royal family (as the royal horse drawn coach drew up at the queen's own church or whatever the fucking place is).  Interesting too that the various tv flunkies and commentators have borrowed the word 'diversity' from employers and HR departments to signal virtue.  All this of course as one of Britain's premier racists, prince phil, glided in on his new hip. Fuck 'em all.


----------



## billbond (May 19, 2018)

Wilf said:


> Didn't watch any of it live, but just heard the news with Huw Edwards and others arseholes going on about how this 'modernises' the royal family (as the royal horse drawn coach drew up at the queen's own church or whatever the fucking place is).  Interesting too that the various tv flunkies and commentators have borrowed the word 'diversity' from employers and HR departments to signal virtue.  All this of course as one of Britain's premier racists, prince phil, glided in on his new hip. Fuck 'em all.



No Jennie Bond ?, whatever happened to her
Prince phil could now be counted as a  "hipster"


----------



## Wilf (May 19, 2018)

billbond said:


> No Jennie Bond ?, whatever happened to her
> Prince phil could now be counted as a  "hipster"


Presume Nicholas Witchell has moved on and is making a living entering The Most Pointless Life Ever Lived competitions all over the world.

Jennie Bond went on I'm a Celebrity and drove Ant to drink.


----------



## billbond (May 20, 2018)

Wilf said:


> Presume Nicholas Witchell has moved on and is making a living entering The Most Pointless Life Ever Lived competitions all over the world.
> 
> Jennie Bond went on I'm a Celebrity and drove Ant to drink.



All this talking over this type of stuff and making out its all so important ie The cake, Dress, how they walk, clothes etc etc
I bet deep down the more serious commentators are embarrassed to be doing these gigs if the truth be known.
I bet in different company they would say "what a load of ol bo  x"

I bet his glad its all over


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 20, 2018)

billbond said:


> No Jennie Bond ?, whatever happened to her
> Prince phil could now be counted as a  "hipster"



IIRC, Bond pretty much confirmed she was a republican on HIGNFY? and has never been seen again.


----------



## xenon (May 20, 2018)

Did you all have a lovely time not watching the real weeding.    I hope so. There is a lot of posts about it.


----------



## billbond (May 20, 2018)

Nine Bob Note said:


> IIRC, Bond pretty much confirmed she was a republican on HIGNFY? and has never been seen again.



Really ?   ummm may have a look on you tube 
Mind not a programme to go on if you dont  do your homework with Private hislop etc ready to pounce.
Last i see of her was munching on something nasty in a Jungle
And it was not Ant or Dec


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 20, 2018)

even amsterdam is full of royal wedding talk. FUCK OFF


----------



## Celyn (May 20, 2018)

billbond said:


> All this talking over this type of stuff and making out its all so important ie The cake, Dress, how they walk, clothes etc etc
> I bet deep down the more serious commentators are embarrassed to be doing these gigs if the truth be known.
> I bet in different company they would say "what a load of ol bo  x"
> 
> I bet his glad its all over



Well, they do it for the money.


----------



## Wilf (May 20, 2018)

xenon said:


> Did you all have a lovely time not watching the real weeding.	I hope so. There is a lot of posts about it.


No there aren't. Timewise, the wedding started on page 16 and your ever so superior interjection came on page 18. To be honest, it seems to me, you live your life like a candle in the wind...


----------



## dessiato (May 20, 2018)

One of the channels here had the wedding live for hours. They followed this with documentaries about Diana, and then more about her death. They seemed to have more about her than about them.


----------



## Humirax (May 20, 2018)




----------



## krtek a houby (May 20, 2018)

Ended up being on in the local bar and cynic that i am, I did kind of well up during the gospel choir. Kind of zoned out during the power of love, speech, though.


----------



## ice-is-forming (May 20, 2018)

Aaaand I missed it all ..


----------



## MickiQ (May 20, 2018)

it seems my son's cunning plan to avoid it by volunteering to work overtime backfired spectacularly, someone had brought in a portable TV to watch it and set it up 2 desks away.
He called in at his girlfriend's after work only to find her and her housemates sprawled in front of the telly watching it intently.


----------



## hash tag (May 22, 2018)

What, not another one! Surely George is a bit young yet?


----------



## Baronage-Phase (May 24, 2018)




----------



## GarveyLives (May 29, 2018)

A view from the subcontinent ...

Britain is paying reparations to India… one sanitary pad at a time from Harry & Meghan


----------



## not-bono-ever (Aug 20, 2018)

Don’t worry royal enthusiasts , there is another in the way in case you were getting cold turkey - Newcastle university cuckoo.  & now graduate Eugene is getting married

Princess Eugenie wedding to cost taxpayers £2m


And you* are paying


* literally


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Aug 20, 2018)

Security...Security.
Remove these leeches from the system.

I don't know how ye put up with the add-ons that the monarchy costs tax payers..

Why couldnt the 2 of them just get married privately ? Quietly? On a desert island?


----------



## MickiQ (Aug 20, 2018)

PippinTook said:


> Security...Security.
> Remove these leeches from the system.
> 
> I don't know how ye put up with the add-ons that the monarchy costs tax payers..
> ...


I seem to remember reading something a year or so ago that Andy was kicking up a fuss that the Met had decided his daughters didn't need a dedicated police bodyguard as they were too low value a target for terrorists.
Don't know if he won the argument or not.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Aug 20, 2018)

She had cover at Newcastle university - so I am assuming he got his way


----------



## Baronage-Phase (Aug 20, 2018)

Security is more than likely for Queenie and the entourage. 
If the soon to be married couple had hone off to a private service for just the 2 of them and a couple of witnesses then this nonsense wouldn't be happening. 

Big weddings...


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## krtek a houby (Aug 20, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> I seem to remember reading something a year or so ago that Andy was kicking up a fuss that the Met had decided his daughters didn't need a dedicated police bodyguard as they were too low value a target for terrorists.
> Don't know if he won the argument or not.



Andy's got mates in the weapons trade, sure he can call on some backup


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## not-bono-ever (Aug 20, 2018)

They are getting married in a castle- outside a nuclear bunker or the BoE vaults ,there isn’t much better for security than a shitting castle.


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## Pickman's model (Aug 20, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> Don’t worry royal enthusiasts , there is another in the way in case you were getting cold turkey - Newcastle university cuckoo.  & now graduate Eugene is getting married
> 
> Princess Eugenie wedding to cost taxpayers £2m
> 
> ...


what does a 'brand ambassador' actually do?


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## not-bono-ever (Aug 20, 2018)

Fuck all


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## kebabking (Aug 20, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> I seem to remember reading something a year or so ago that Andy was kicking up a fuss that the Met had decided his daughters didn't need a dedicated police bodyguard as they were too low value a target for terrorists.
> Don't know if he won the argument or not.



it was a multi-faceted spat - Charles has been less than discrete about trying to edge out the royals who aren't him and his brood, and exerting much more central (ie: him) control over who does what, who gets what in terms of roles, houses, titles, civil list, security etc.. and the rest have been pushing back on the basis that Charles was quite happy for them to do the 'dogshit royalty' of low-level public engagements while he and his brood got the more high-profile stuff, while at the same time trying to reduce their staff and access to logistics.

the Andy's brood/security thing came about not because the Met thought that their profile and lifestyles reduced the threat against them, but because Charles and his staff made hay in the papers about 'taking their security away', thus alerting the world and his dog that their security had been removed and thus making them much more attractive targets. unsurprisingly Andy, and the others, went fucking mental at Charles' stupid politiking - and the Met decided to put their security back in place precisely because it had become public knowledge that their security had been removed.

of course, Andy's magnificent ego feeds into all this, Anne thinks Charles is a lazy, self-absorbed twat - as does Phil - Edward would quite like to be left alone but notes that his Mrs (Sophie) does an absolute mass of 'dogshit royalty' stuff and gets very little central support to help do it (and suspects that the fact that she's engaging, bright, hardworking, and much more attractive than Charles' wife and Daughters-in-law is not unrelated to her getting the cold shoulder..). its like the 1470/80's all over again.



Pickman's model said:


> what does a 'brand ambassador' actually do?



i think it means 'wears free clothes'...


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## Pickman's model (Aug 20, 2018)

kebabking said:


> its like the 1470/80's all over again.


and no henry tudor in sight to whack the lot of them


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## kebabking (Aug 20, 2018)

Pickman's model said:


> and no henry tudor in sight to whack the lot of them



but there is a Duke of Gloucester....


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## Pickman's model (Aug 20, 2018)

kebabking said:


> but there is a Duke of Gloucester....


a duke of gloucester?






ah yes, prince richard, duke of gloucester






he has the right sort of sinister robes.


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## JimW (Aug 20, 2018)

kebabking said:


> it was a multi-faceted spat - Charles has been less than discrete about trying to edge out the royals who aren't him and his brood, and exerting much more central (ie: him) control over who does what, who gets what in terms of roles, houses, titles, civil list, security etc.. and the rest have been pushing back on the basis that Charles was quite happy for them to do the 'dogshit royalty' of low-level public engagements while he and his brood got the more high-profile stuff, while at the same time trying to reduce their staff and access to logistics.
> 
> the Andy's brood/security thing came about not because the Met thought that their profile and lifestyles reduced the threat against them, but because Charles and his staff made hay in the papers about 'taking their security away', thus alerting the world and his dog that their security had been removed and thus making them much more attractive targets. unsurprisingly Andy, and the others, went fucking mental at Charles' stupid politiking - and the Met decided to put their security back in place precisely because it had become public knowledge that their security had been removed.
> 
> ...


Be honest, this is last year's plots on the Archers really


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## Pickman's model (Aug 20, 2018)

JimW said:


> Be honest, this is last year's plots on the Archers really


yeh i wonder what the agricultural story editor on the archers actually does as so very little of it (and indeed so little of the royal saga) actually concerns agriculture.

i learnt more about agriculture from scooby-doo than i ever did from listening to the archers.


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## billbond (Aug 20, 2018)

its wrong her dad should pay for it
His never been the same man since he was told he could not marry his one true love Koo stark
ive never watched a single second of any of these Royal weddings-zero interest.


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## Poi E (Aug 20, 2018)

Just picked up what you know from the papers eh?


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## LDC (Aug 20, 2018)

kebabking said:


> it was a multi-faceted spat - Charles has been less than discrete about trying to edge out the royals who aren't him and his brood, and exerting much more central (ie: him) control over who does what, who gets what in terms of roles, houses, titles, civil list, security etc.. and the rest have been pushing back on the basis that Charles was quite happy for them to do the 'dogshit royalty' of low-level public engagements while he and his brood got the more high-profile stuff, while at the same time trying to reduce their staff and access to logistics.
> 
> the Andy's brood/security thing came about not because the Met thought that their profile and lifestyles reduced the threat against them, but because Charles and his staff made hay in the papers about 'taking their security away', thus alerting the world and his dog that their security had been removed and thus making them much more attractive targets. unsurprisingly Andy, and the others, went fucking mental at Charles' stupid politiking - and the Met decided to put their security back in place precisely because it had become public knowledge that their security had been removed.
> 
> ...



I think you maybe you need to start a Royals gossip thread?


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## not-bono-ever (Aug 20, 2018)

When HRH is doing “work” , I can see how it could be argued that protection is needed. I don’t agree that it is work or they deserve protection when they are as rich as fuck but I can see the argument for it.

This is not work nor could it be argued in any way that it “benefits” ( non specific catch all term for any old shit these parasites get up to ) . They can fucking dip into their own pockets if they want a big wedding that will cost us millions in extras

F
U
C
K
O
F
F


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## Baronage-Phase (Aug 20, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> When HRH is doing “work” , I can see how it could be argued that protection is needed. I don’t agree that it is work or they deserve protection when they are as rich as fuck but I can see the argument for it.
> 
> This is not work nor could it be argued in any way that it “benefits” ( non specific catch all term for any old shit these parasites get up to ) . They can fucking dip into their own pockets if they want a big wedding that will cost us millions in extras
> 
> ...




I don't think you were loud enough.


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## gentlegreen (Aug 20, 2018)

They should have a whip-round for such events - perhaps a load of royalist OAPs will do the catering voluntarily.


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## not-bono-ever (Aug 20, 2018)

I resisted calling for their heads as i am sure it is a capital offence in these days of patriotism and servility 

http://royalty-magazine.com

People actually buy this stuff.

Jfhxfhvjjdjdjhjxkfxhdjcjdfjdjcjjdjkkk


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## DotCommunist (Aug 20, 2018)

in this bold era of privatization ad aeturnum perhaps the good people at whatever blackwater are called now could do the security cheaper. And the wedding, so long as they don't accidentally call an airstrike in on it. That would be awful.


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## MickiQ (Aug 20, 2018)

not-bono-ever said:


> I resisted calling for their heads as i am sure it is a capital offence in these days of patriotism and servility
> 
> http://royalty-magazine.com
> 
> ...


If you click on the Royalty tab at the top it lists 11 countries that have royal families but google says  there are 26, I suppose the royals of places like Saudi or Kuwait aren't likely to be as charming and photo-friendly as our own bunch.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 21, 2018)

It is in a castle with an army barracks next door. That’s pretty secure.

The hard holidaying princess wants an open top carriage ride around Windsor, that’s what will cost the wedge. Who on earth will turn out to witness this shit? Surely if a FIT team was ever required, it should be detailing anyone who lines the streets.


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## skyscraper101 (Aug 21, 2018)

What happens when these lot start having kids, do they get taxpayer funded protection too? 

Load of bollocks.


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## MickiQ (Aug 21, 2018)

_Eugenie is due to marry Jack Brooksbank, a tequila brand ambassador
_
What does this guy for a living? this makes him sound like a professional drunk, I presume he is basically a salesman?


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## Pickman's model (Oct 12, 2018)

the public turn out in force


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## skyscraper101 (Oct 12, 2018)

Nice bit of overtime


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 12, 2018)

Looks like Andy kept up the ancient tradition of having a shit on the chapel steps


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## not-bono-ever (Oct 12, 2018)

The increasingly frantic reproductive urges of a species approaching their own extinction


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## danny la rouge (Oct 12, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> _Eugenie is due to marry Jack Brooksbank, a tequila brand ambassador
> _
> What does this guy for a living? this makes him sound like a professional drunk, I presume he is basically a salesman?


They’re people who give you free samples in pubs and clubs aren’t they?

Tequila ambassadors, not minor royals.  Royals are people who live off everyone else.


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## MrSki (Oct 12, 2018)




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## QueenOfGoths (Oct 12, 2018)

No Derek they don't. And certainly not at a tenner!!


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## Teaboy (Oct 12, 2018)

Well he clearly he likes a mug if he thinks he can shift that crap at tenner a pop.


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## ash (Oct 12, 2018)

Did any one see the green knickers


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## MickiQ (Oct 12, 2018)

Bastards the lot of you, I was hoping to avoid any mention of this one


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## MickiQ (Oct 12, 2018)

danny la rouge said:


> They’re people who give you free samples in pubs and clubs aren’t they?
> 
> Tequila ambassadors, not minor royals.  Royals are people who live off everyone else.


my daughter handed out drinks to earn extra money when she was at college, her boss called her a waitress though not an ambassador, I'm pretty certain it was minimum wage as well.


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## danny la rouge (Oct 12, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> my daughter handed out drinks to earn extra money when she was at college, her boss called her a waitress though not an ambassador, I'm pretty certain it was minimum wage as well.


I handed out drinks when I was younger too. My boss called me a barman.


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## Dogsauce (Oct 12, 2018)

I have had previous employment as a pizza ambassador, fruit and veg ambassador and putting up skittles ambassador.


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## HoratioCuthbert (Oct 13, 2018)

MickiQ said:


> _Eugenie is due to marry Jack Brooksbank, a tequila brand ambassador
> _
> What does this guy for a living? this makes him sound like a professional drunk, I presume he is basically a salesman?


Having heard other outlets describe him as the owner of a drinks company, I assume the above quote was written by a wank ambassador.


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## billbond (Oct 14, 2018)

what a lovely day for both of them
cant wait for the next one
Maybe her sister


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## pesh (Oct 14, 2018)

i reckon it will be a funeral next


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## hash tag (Oct 15, 2018)

Well that announcement wasn't entirely unexpected (another on the way)


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## brogdale (Oct 15, 2018)

hash tag said:


> Well that announcement wasn't entirely unexpected (another on the way)


Due just as the food queues form and the insulin runs dry.
Named _princess Brexina_?


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## Artaxerxes (Oct 15, 2018)

QueenOfGoths said:


> No Derek they don't. And certainly not at a tenner!!




I hope they do otherwise my career as a potter is going to be short.


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## Dogsauce (Oct 15, 2018)

They’re just trying to bump themselves up the housing list aren’t they?


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## not-bono-ever (Oct 15, 2018)

NOt housing list but large country estate list


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## MickiQ (Oct 15, 2018)

Dogsauce said:


> They’re just trying to bump themselves up the housing list aren’t they?


I believe they have already been allocated a suitable council home
Harry and Meghan 'to move into romantic cottage' with surprise bedroom feature


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## hash tag (Oct 15, 2018)

A nice little cottage in the country. How absoutly charming, I'm sure.


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## Dogsauce (Oct 15, 2018)

They’ve had their name down for a palace for ages. With a baby the state might offer them a 57-bed place instead of a 36.


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## hash tag (Oct 15, 2018)

57 will of course give them a bit of variety.


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## Ponyutd (Oct 15, 2018)

I hope they're very happy.


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## A380 (Oct 16, 2018)

pesh said:


> i reckon it will be a funeral next


Let’s cros that Bridge when we come to it.


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## MickiQ (Oct 16, 2018)

A380 said:


> Let’s cros that Bridge when we come to it.


Nah, royalty always seems to snuff it when the MickiQ's are on hols, People's Princess and Nations Favourite Gran both pegged it on the first day we were away and Princess Cinzano checked out the day that
we booked the weekend in Paris that claimed her mother, I reckon Phil the Greek probably has until next summer


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