# Masterchef 2013



## trashpony (Mar 12, 2013)

Starts at 9pm. I'm excited ( taking my mind off the fact that my computer has died).
It's TOUGH apparently. But they would say that


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## Dan U (Mar 12, 2013)

I heard it doesn't get tougher than this. 

They must reach a plateau of toughness surely.


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## purenarcotic (Mar 12, 2013)

I am so excited I might wee.

I fucking love this show.


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## Santino (Mar 12, 2013)




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## Maurice Picarda (Mar 12, 2013)

trashpony said:


> It's TOUGH apparently.


 
That's because the format is, by now, horribly overdone.


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## trashpony (Mar 12, 2013)

Santino said:


>


FFS you have to do that every single time  I'll have nightmares

I want to see how he'll weave his WeightWatchers buy in into the programme


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## Dan U (Mar 12, 2013)

'I'll have to diet after eating this, ho ho'


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## wiskey (Mar 12, 2013)

I wonder if they are going to do the weird format the Australian one uses.


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## purenarcotic (Mar 12, 2013)

John has evidently had some sort of promotion, with his chef whites already out.


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## trashpony (Mar 12, 2013)

wiskey said:


> I wonder if they are going to do the weird format the Australian one uses.


What is that? I've not watched it but my Aussie friend is obsessed with it


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## wiskey (Mar 12, 2013)

trashpony said:


> What is that? I've not watched it but my Aussie friend is obsessed with it


 
they start with about 40 contestants and then they _very_ slowly whittle it down by getting them to do timed tasks, face offs amongst three, do huge team tasks with the whole group split in two. Have to say it's really hard to follow sometimes but it's good viewing.

you clearly have far better things to be doing after the archers has finished than I do  the fact I always miss the first 15mins probably explains why I don't understand the format


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## Firky (Mar 12, 2013)

I love Masterchef but I don't know if I can watch another season of it. I watched Food & Drink the other night and it was awful. I only really stuck with it because of Rachel Khoo


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## trashpony (Mar 12, 2013)

This is a really hard test. I couldn't make creme patissierre without a recipe


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## Dan U (Mar 13, 2013)

John looked like he had been smoking crack last night


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## Gromit (Mar 13, 2013)

I love the base base base, I like the buttery biscuit base.


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## Gromit (Mar 13, 2013)

Dan U said:


> They must reach a plateau of toughness surely.



I'd like to try the plateau of toughness with a scallop starter beforehand perhaps? What wine would go with it? Hmmm!


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## Lixer (Mar 13, 2013)

Missed the last one so I'm definately going to watch this time. Inspires me to cook more adventously (sp)


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## Dan U (Mar 13, 2013)

Unless there is some medical reason I missed, why is that bell end wearing a cap to cook in.


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## The Boy (Mar 13, 2013)




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## wiskey (Mar 13, 2013)

^^^ dear god!


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## Lixer (Mar 13, 2013)

However, I hate the way they taste the food. Its very cringey


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## Me76 (Mar 13, 2013)

Weren't there five last night?  Why only four tonight?


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## Gromit (Mar 13, 2013)

Lixer said:


> However, I hate the way they taste the food. Its very cringey



Do you mean their insistence on putting everything on the entire plate on one fork in one go and expecting all the flavours to marry. 
Bloody idiots. Sensible people don't eat like that. 

If food was meant to be eaten like that you could just mash the entire lot together and serve it as gloop.


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## trashpony (Mar 28, 2013)

WTF don't they get them to make the same palate test? It's just John showing off and some of the recipes are a lot harder 

And yesterday the 2nd guy they out through was equally as shit as the blokes the day before who didn't go through. 

It seems (more than usually) total pot luck this year


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## Me76 (Mar 28, 2013)

trashpony said:


> WTF don't they get them to make the same palate test? It's just John showing off and some of the recipes are a lot harder
> 
> And yesterday the 2nd guy they out through was equally as shit as the blokes the day before who didn't go through.
> 
> It seems (more than usually) total pot luck this year



I completely agree. Meatballs yesterday compared to the courgette flower stuffed thing he did in the first week, no comparison!!!


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## wiskey (Mar 28, 2013)

they threw out the wrong one last night imo - but I think that woman Jill will go far. 

I agree about the invention test though, it;s not really a level playing field.


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## trashpony (Mar 28, 2013)

Thank you for bring able to understand my crappy phone typing! 

Today's palate test was *really* hard I thought. 

Yeah I agree wiskey. She was bloody calm tho


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## wiskey (Mar 28, 2013)

trashpony said:


> Thank you for bring able to understand my crappy phone typing!


 
 (sorry)

The most offputting thing about the whole programme is the narrator, she does my head in.


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## Looby (Mar 29, 2013)

Me76 said:


> I completely agree. Meatballs yesterday compared to the courgette flower stuffed thing he did in the first week, no comparison!!!



Yep, that meatball challenge was a piece of piss. I think the reason they didn't choose pork and beef when they made it was because it seemed too bloody obvious.

That venison test was very tricky.


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## Dan U (Mar 29, 2013)

My memory is shocking, in the last series were the heats one hour with 4 different activities crammed in? It feels really rushed to me this year.


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## May Kasahara (Mar 29, 2013)

Dan U said:


> John looked like he had been smoking crack last night


 
Ha ha, Mr K said the exact same thing last night!

Masterchef has got very boring now. I'm only watching it this week because I'm ill (honest)


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## chandlerp (Apr 1, 2013)

wiskey said:


> (sorry)
> 
> The most offputting thing about the whole programme is the narrator, she does my head in.




Oh God, she is fucking woeful.  They should get that fella off Come Dine With Me instead


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## punchdrunkme (Apr 2, 2013)

chandlerp said:


> Oh God, she is fucking woeful.  They should get that fella off Come Dine With Me instead



They should have that fella off come dine with me narrating most things tbf, the news, countryfile, pointless, doctor who. Anything apart from my life really, that spot is reserved for Morgan Freeman.


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## stereoisomer (Apr 2, 2013)

trashpony said:


> WTF don't they get them to make the same palate test? It's just John showing off and some of the recipes are a lot harder
> 
> And yesterday the 2nd guy they out through was equally as shit as the blokes the day before who didn't go through.
> 
> It seems (more than usually) total pot luck this year


Wouldn't that get boring to watch though? I like the new palate test. It looks difficult and I couldn't do it but I still get to point and laugh when people fuck it up. Like they guy who made potato-coated lamb, wtf?
I love masterchef. It inspired me to make chocolate fondants last night, and they were yum.


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## Santino (Apr 3, 2013)

Shivi can fuck off for a start.


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## Spymaster (Apr 3, 2013)

Santino said:


> Shivi can fuck off for a start.


 
Mince and mushrooms?


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## Santino (Apr 3, 2013)

Spymaster said:


> Mince and mushrooms?


'I'm a bit mad'


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## Espresso (Apr 3, 2013)

Pie and coleslaw? What sort of abomination to mankind is THAT?


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## Looby (Apr 3, 2013)

Bertie really looks like Fred West!


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## trashpony (Apr 3, 2013)

sparklefish said:


> Bertie really looks like Fred West!


Glad it wasn't just me


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## Looby (Apr 3, 2013)

Espresso said:


> Pie and coleslaw? What sort of abomination to mankind is THAT?



Coleslaw is an abomination full stop. Bleurrggggghhhhh


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## Steel Icarus (Apr 4, 2013)

I think it's been pretty uninspiring so far this year, although of course it does get better as it goes along. Was quite sad to see that Helen go tonight, cos (a) I don't like the sweaty copper very much and (b) I thought she was all kinds of lovely


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 4, 2013)

the worst thing about tonight was the restaurant task. "carbonara-style cous cous"?!!!


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## clicker (Apr 4, 2013)

At least nobody made 'foam' tonight....what is it with this foam nonsense? I don't want something on my plate , that reminds me of something i wouldnt want to walk through on a beach.


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 4, 2013)

clicker said:


> At least nobody made 'foam' tonight....what is it with this foam nonsense? I don't want something on my plate , that reminds me of something i wouldnt want to walk through on a beach.


and no fecking Tarte Tatin. They ALL make fucking Tarte Tatin. Like cooking something under pastry then turning it over should make us all go weak at the knees


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## Spark (Apr 4, 2013)

Why would you go on masterchef if you can't cook fish and are squeamish about prawns with their heads on.


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## pissflaps (Apr 4, 2013)

what the fuck is 'puster'?


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## May Kasahara (Apr 4, 2013)

The pro chef on tonight's episode was like an evil ventriloquist's dummy


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## belboid (Apr 4, 2013)

ther still isnt anyone been on that i particularly like, either personality or foodwise.  Tess is alright, but nowt special.


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## Santino (Apr 5, 2013)

I want to know why that bloke's parents called him Larkin.


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## Sprocket. (Apr 5, 2013)

Santino said:


> I want to know why that bloke's parents called him Larkin.


''They f**k you up your mum and dad''

http://www.artofeurope.com/larkin/lar2.htm


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## wayward bob (Apr 5, 2013)

larkin's main was possibly the best looking plate of food i've ever seen


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## wayward bob (Apr 5, 2013)

(even though i despise this year's yawnsome edible flowers )


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 5, 2013)

Spark said:


> Why would you go on masterchef if you can't cook fish and are squeamish about prawns with their heads on.


there's a lot of them where I think, "why would you go on?" The palate test exposes a lot of them - like people who can't make pasta, or creme patissiere and you're thinking, surely if you lack those kinds of skills you've no business applying?!


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## trashpony (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> there's a lot of them where I think, "why would you go on?" The pallet test exposes a lot of them - like people who can't make pasta, or creme patissiere and you're thinking, surely if you lack those kinds of skills you've no business applying?!


I do love the arrogant ones who say they're going to win and then crash and burn in the first episode


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 5, 2013)

trashpony said:


> I do love the arrogant ones who say they're going to win and then crash and burn in the first episode


Maybe they underestimate the number of range of skills you need to be a top class chef? A lot of people can bust out a pretty classy selection of dishes if they've got the time. But some of the palate tests would leave me completely stumped...


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## trashpony (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> Maybe they underestimate the number of range of skills you need to be a top class chef? A lot of people can bust out a pretty classy selection of dishes if they've got the time. But some of the palate tests would leave me completely stumped...


Yes, absolutely. I wouldn't have a clue how to make most of the stuff in the palate tests but it seems a bit mad that cooking under pressure is what gets most of them


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## Spark (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> there's a lot of them where I think, "why would you go on?" The palate test exposes a lot of them - like people who can't make pasta, or creme patissiere and you're thinking, surely if you lack those kinds of skills you've no business applying?!


 
Quite,  you think by now people would know that to get on ok in the first rounds it's a good idea to put in some time mastering things like that and also mayonnaise,  hollandaise,  pastry,  beurre blanc etc. A good repertoire and then you can stick one of the things you've learned into your invention test so Greg and John can say you've demonstrated skill even if your presentation is a car crash and flavours weird.


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 5, 2013)

Spark said:


> Quite, you think by now people would know that to get on ok in the first rounds it's a good idea to put in some time mastering things like that and also mayonnaise, hollandaise, pastry, beurre blanc etc. A good repertoire and then you can stick one of the things you've learned into your invention test so Greg and John can say you've demonstrated skill even if your presentation is a car crash and flavours weird.


Doing well in the invention test appears to be a case of picking the most obvious thing to cook - like the fella on Wednesday who saw mince beef and made a hamburger.


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## colacubes (Apr 5, 2013)

trashpony said:


> I do love the arrogant ones who say they're going to win and then crash and burn in the first episode


 
That happened to someone I went to uni with a couple of series ago.  She was a right fucking bitch as well so it made me well happy


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## belboid (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> Doing well in the invention test appears to be a case of picking the most obvious thing to cook - like the fella on Wednesday who saw mince beef and made a hamburger.


'Sliders' not a hamburger!  Completely different, despite looking exactly the same.


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## wayward bob (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> Doing well in the invention test appears to be a case of picking the most obvious thing to cook - like the fella on Wednesday who saw mince beef and made a hamburger.


 
i disagree - he did well because he picked the right cooking method for the mince in the time they had available. it was the ones who tried things that have to be slow cooked - like the cottage pie dude - who came unstuck.


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## Ms T (Apr 5, 2013)

I can't believe that noboby spotted it was soda bread - apart from anything else you can't make yeasted bread in the time allocated.  Plus what other bread uses buttermilk?


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 5, 2013)

belboid said:


> 'Sliders' not a hamburger! Completely different, despite looking exactly the same.


but as they pointed out, he didn't make "sliders" because they were too bloody big!


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 5, 2013)

wayward bob said:


> i disagree - he did well because he picked the right cooking method for the mince in the time they had available. it was the ones who tried things that have to be slow cooked - like the cottage pie dude - who came unstuck.


that's part of picking the obvious thing, isn't it?


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## trashpony (Apr 5, 2013)

Ms T said:


> I can't believe that noboby spotted it was soda bread - apart from anything else you can't make yeasted bread in the time allocated. Plus what other bread uses buttermilk?


I did think the buttermilk in the selection of ingredients might have been a clue  I would have liked to think I would have realised that at least (although I have no idea how you make it)


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## Lo Siento. (Apr 5, 2013)

Ms T said:


> I can't believe that noboby spotted it was soda bread - apart from anything else you can't make yeasted bread in the time allocated. Plus what other bread uses buttermilk?


I'd have guessed that I couldn't make yeasted bread in an hour, but I'd have had sod all idea how to make soda bread...


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## trashpony (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> but as they pointed out, he didn't make "sliders" because they were too bloody big!


 
I didn't really know what sliders were. This is a very thorough (and quite funny) article: http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives...w-to-make-the-ultimate-home-made-sliders.html

And now I really, really want one


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## belboid (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> I'd have guessed that I couldn't make yeasted bread in an hour, but I'd have had sod all idea how to make soda bread...


you could _just_ do some buns - the buttermilk could have been a red herring


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## wayward bob (Apr 5, 2013)

Lo Siento. said:


> that's part of picking the obvious thing, isn't it?


 
well i guess so - top tip pick something that at least has a chance of working


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## wayward bob (Apr 5, 2013)

heh mr b nailed larkin as a welsher _and_ said he'd do 'alf & 'alf


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## clicker (Apr 6, 2013)

When they all commented how difficult it is to present a chocolate mousse, the one that the man piped out of the bag, I wondered if they all thought it looked like a giant turd in a glass.....it did.


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## belboid (Apr 10, 2013)

this isnt fair.  there's a philosophy student and a bookseller on there, i should like them.  but they're both twats.

I'd have romped that palate test


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## trashpony (Apr 12, 2013)

I like Natalie.


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## Ms T (Apr 12, 2013)

How come this lot only had to serve one dish? Didn't they have to do desserts as well in previous weeks?


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## Orang Utan (Apr 12, 2013)

Santino said:


> I want to know why that bloke's parents called him Larkin.


To fuck him up


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## trashpony (Apr 13, 2013)

Ms T said:


> How come this lot only had to serve one dish? Didn't they have to do desserts as well in previous weeks?


Yes they did. Doesn't make much sense does it?


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## Ms T (Apr 13, 2013)

trashpony said:


> Yes they did. Doesn't make much sense does it?


 
It's presumably because they had more contestants, but it strikes me as a bit unfair.


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## trashpony (Apr 13, 2013)

Ms T said:


> It's presumably because they had more contestants, but it strikes me as a bit unfair.


The whole competition is a bit unfair this year I think. The taste test is really random


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## fen_boy (Apr 13, 2013)

Orang Utan said:


> To fuck him up


 
I like this joke, it works on exactly two levels.


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## Part 2 (Apr 13, 2013)

trashpony said:


> The whole competition is a bit unfair this year I think. The taste test is really random


 
They seem to make it up as they go along don't they, letting a different number of contestants through as and when it suits them.

The restaurant tests where they have one person arranging some pre-cooked things on a plate while someone else cooks seven different things and makes a sauce are ridiculous too. They remind me of the generation game.


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## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Apr 13, 2013)

Chip Barm said:


> The restaurant tests where they have one person arranging some pre-cooked things on a plate while someone else cooks seven different things and makes a sauce are ridiculous too. They remind me of the generation game.


 
Although it doesn't really matter as they go on and ignore that round altogether when they're judging.


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## Part 2 (Apr 13, 2013)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> Although it doesn't really matter as they go on and ignore that round altogether when they're judging.


 
Yes, and act as though providing a restaurant with some free labour is some kind of treat


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## Orang Utan (Apr 15, 2013)

I've just caught Australian Masterchef by mistake.
It's very different!
Though all I want to do is yell at the screen: STOP SAYING FOODS WRONG!


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## Part 2 (Apr 15, 2013)

Junior Masterchef is where it's at if you want to veer off the regular program.


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## trashpony (Apr 15, 2013)

Orang Utan said:


> I've just caught Australian Masterchef by mistake.
> It's very different!
> Though all I want to do is yell at the screen: STOP SAYING FOODS WRONG!


When/where is it on? My (aussie) friend and her french husband are obsessed with it and I want to see it


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## DexterTCN (Apr 15, 2013)

Chip Barm said:


> ...The restaurant tests where they have one person arranging some pre-cooked things on a plate while someone else cooks seven different things and makes a sauce are ridiculous too. They remind me of the generation game.


Yup....I'd be hoping to get the horse cock starter if I was one of the contestants....or the vegetarian option.


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## Orang Utan (Apr 15, 2013)

trashpony said:


> When/where is it on? My (aussie) friend and her french husband are obsessed with it and I want to see it


It was Really, I think. 
One of those rubbish Freeview ones anyway.
It was on just now! (Well until University Challenge came on)


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## Dan U (Apr 15, 2013)

It's a bit shit the aussie one. Remember when UK masterchef went all reality this is their family shite. It got the idea from the aussie one.


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## wiskey (Apr 16, 2013)

bloody hell that stir fry palette test with all the Chinese flavours is a bit of a step up from what some of the others had to make!

no continuity


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## Me76 (Apr 16, 2013)

The palette test is making me very angry with its inconsistency!!!!


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## Spark (Apr 19, 2013)

I love Natalie.  I want her to win I think.


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## May Kasahara (Apr 19, 2013)

'walnut and rocket moss' LOL


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## purenarcotic (Apr 19, 2013)

Spark said:


> I love Natalie. I want her to win I think.


 
Me too, she's ace.


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## colacubes (Apr 19, 2013)

Paella with a lemon air ffs   It looked pretty impressive but he'd just put in a bell jar


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## purenarcotic (Apr 19, 2013)

nipsla said:


> Paella with a lemon air ffs  It looked pretty impressive but he'd just put in a bell jar


 
That wanky shit makes me proper lol.  I am waiting for the day when I can eat somewhere that does that and I will wiggle in my chair in pretentious heaven.


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## trashpony (Apr 19, 2013)

Spark said:


> I love Natalie.  I want her to win I think.


I *know*I want her to win


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## colacubes (Apr 19, 2013)

I agree re Natalie.  I reckon it'll be Larkin though


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## wtfftw (Apr 20, 2013)

I haven't developed a serious dislike of anyone.


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## Me76 (Apr 20, 2013)

I haven't learned anyones names apart from Larkin!  

Is Natalie the east London girl?  In that case yes, I think she is great and will go far. very eager and soaking up all the experience. 

 I also like the curry cooking mum woman. She needs to widen her experience and cook other stuff well but reminds me a lot of the winner last year who cooked what she had been brought up with brilliantly and learned the rest.  

None of the blokes have really made an impression on me which says something I think.  

Alien looking girl (big eyes in very thin face) will go quite soon I think*

I haven't yet watched Friday's so if she has gone already Ian proved right!


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## renegadechicken (Apr 20, 2013)

I liked Nat's food and the fact she told Greg and John they were her guinea pigs, and that she had only tried that dish once as breakfast


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## trashpony (Apr 20, 2013)

Alien looking girl has gone. Saira (Asian mum) is still in. I really like her too. 

Actually I'm quite fond of Larkin and Dale too. 

I'd be a crap judge


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## wiskey (Apr 20, 2013)

Bit surprised posh boy is still in.


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## trashpony (Apr 20, 2013)

wiskey said:


> Bit surprised posh boy is still in.


What, Larkin? He's pretty good. Olly was the crap posh boy


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## wiskey (Apr 20, 2013)

Yes olly... Have I missed an episode? He was  still in the last one I saw


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## trashpony (Apr 21, 2013)

wiskey said:


> Yes olly... Have I missed an episode? He was  still in the last one I saw


You must have missed Friday I think. He made partridge in a pear tree


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## wiskey (Apr 21, 2013)

badly I gather


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## Me76 (Apr 21, 2013)

Right. I think now there are only four I should be able to keep track of them 

Actually really like all of their food, but want one of the girls to win.


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## spanglechick (Apr 21, 2013)

does natalie remind anyone else of onenameshelley?


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## gosub (Apr 21, 2013)

Spark said:


> I love Natalie. I want her to win I think.


 
is that the part time DJ? seriously, who defines them-self as a part time DJ?


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## littlebabyjesus (Apr 21, 2013)

gosub said:


> is that the part time DJ? seriously, who defines them-self as a part time DJ?


Someone who doesn't want to put 'unemployed' on the form?


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## Part 2 (Apr 21, 2013)

I hop the smug welsh one doesn't win.

Larkin is the only one I can see sitting at the table being served food next series, so he'll win.


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## trashpony (Apr 21, 2013)

Chip Barm said:


> I hop the smug welsh one doesn't win.
> 
> Larkin is the only one I can see sitting at the table being served food next series, so he'll win.


Who's the smug welsh one?


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## Part 2 (Apr 21, 2013)

trashpony said:


> Who's the smug welsh one?


 
Dale.


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## trashpony (Apr 21, 2013)

Chip Barm said:


> Dale.


Is he Welsh?


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## wayward bob (Apr 21, 2013)

both boys are welsh. i'd be happy to see any of them win tbf


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## stuff_it (Apr 21, 2013)

littlebabyjesus said:


> Someone who doesn't want to put 'unemployed' on the form?


Quite a lot of these telly programs won't have you on if you're unemployed.


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## clicker (Apr 21, 2013)

i like natalie most......she makes me smile. but would probably probably prefer saira's food,even her pear and custard pud looked ace.


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## wayward bob (Apr 21, 2013)

i loved what she said about her mum and pigeon, i'm the same


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## Part 2 (Apr 21, 2013)

trashpony said:


> Is he Welsh?


 
Aye, Dale is Welsh.

From the off all he was bothered about was winning, he hasn't even said anything about liking food.


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## trashpony (Apr 21, 2013)

I do really like Saira. She has a very cheeky grin and seems remarkably unflappable.

I can see Natalie winning. Have you ever heard Angela Hartnett speak Chip Barm ? She's got a proper London accent


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## Part 2 (Apr 21, 2013)

trashpony said:


> I can see Natalie winning. Have you ever heard Angela Hartnett speak Chip Barm ? She's got a proper London accent


 
I have now!


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## May Kasahara (Apr 24, 2013)

Did I just hear 'Dale is cooking grilled crayon'?


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## purenarcotic (Apr 24, 2013)

Could they gush over Larkin anymore?  Do we need to bother with the other shows?  It's a bit like Shelina last year, where they couldn't gush enough and then surprise surprise she won. 

Still want Natalie though.


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## Part 2 (Apr 24, 2013)

Who is John getting cross with tomorrow?


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## wiskey (Apr 25, 2013)

Dale's out then. And Larkin's bubble has burst.


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## Maurice Picarda (Apr 25, 2013)

Wareing is a much scarier fuck than that posturing oaf Ramsay.


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## trashpony (Apr 25, 2013)

Wareing is terrifying! I'm glad Saira and Nathalie have done best in this round. 

Ouch - Dale and Larkin are disasters!


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## purenarcotic (Apr 25, 2013)

The boys doing dreadfully tonight.


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## wiskey (Apr 25, 2013)

I've never heard of the chef bloke.

And he's not really selling fine dining to me!


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## purenarcotic (Apr 25, 2013)

wiskey said:


> I've never heard of the chef bloke.
> 
> And he's not really selling fine dining to me!


 
He holds 2 michelin stars at The Berkley. 

He's appeared on the show a couple of times before, I always think he comes across as a cunt tbh.


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## wiskey (Apr 25, 2013)

I've missed what they have to do now??

each make one dish?


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## purenarcotic (Apr 25, 2013)

wiskey said:


> I've missed what they have to do now??
> 
> each make one dish?


 
Yup, they've created one course, will be serving it to 12 former bond girls.


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## seeformiles (Apr 25, 2013)

I've just got really annoyed with all the judges. There was no need for Marcus Wareing to be so nasty to those contestants. While it's not that unexpected from that pompous arsehole, what was really awful was Torrode  and the fat grocer acting like the cowards siding with the school bully. Mrs SFM thinks I'm overreacting but it's really wound me up.


----------



## lizzieloo (Apr 25, 2013)

I'm still scared of that Berkeley chef


----------



## wiskey (Apr 25, 2013)

I thought Gregg was ok, sorta said 'shit happens emotions run high etc' not sure I'd want a cuddle from him mind!


----------



## purenarcotic (Apr 25, 2013)

seeformiles said:


> I've just got really annoyed with all the judges. There was no need for Marcus Wareing to be so nasty to those contestants. While it's not that unexpected from that pompous arsehole, what was really awful was Torrode and the fat grocer acting like the cowards siding with the school bully. Mrs SFM thinks I'm overreacting but it's really wound me up.


 
He really showed himself to be a right prick in the masterchef the professionals series.  He was absolutely vile to the chefs they put in his kitchen.

Tom Kerridge is another 2 michelin star chef.  He manages to run a shit hot kitchen and be a nice person.  It is quite doable.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 25, 2013)

purenarcotic said:


> Tom Kerridge is another 2 michelin star chef. He manages to run a shit hot kitchen and be a nice person. It is quite doable.


 
Is he the guy with the Michelin starred pub?

If so we really liked him.


----------



## purenarcotic (Apr 25, 2013)

wiskey said:


> Is he the guy with the Michelin starred pub?
> 
> If so we really liked him.


 
Yup!  Lovely chap.  Was obvious he would take no shit, and wouldn't let crap food out of his kitchen, but was able to do it in a way that did not make him a ginormous prat.


----------



## seeformiles (Apr 25, 2013)

purenarcotic said:


> He really showed himself to be a right prick in the masterchef the professionals series.  He was absolutely vile to the chefs they put in his kitchen.
> 
> Tom Kerridge is another 2 michelin star chef.  He manages to run a shit hot kitchen and be a nice person.  It is quite doable.



Exactly! Angela Hartnet is (apparently) not a fan of that kind of twattery either.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 25, 2013)

I like this bit. I like the Bond Girls a lot. 

I think Larkin handled the MW annihilation very well


----------



## purenarcotic (Apr 25, 2013)

trashpony said:


> I like this bit. I like the Bond Girls a lot.
> 
> I think Larkin handled the MW annihilation very well


 
They are hilarious. 

Larkin seems to be falling apart a bit in these challenges.


----------



## wayward bob (Apr 25, 2013)

anyone else too distracted by the plastic surgery to notice the food?


----------



## wayward bob (Apr 25, 2013)

marcus wareing is _always_ an arse.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 25, 2013)

wayward bob said:


> anyone else too distracted by the plastic surgery to notice the food?


 
botox anyone?


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Apr 25, 2013)

I would have been very upset by the absence of rice with the main. And they didn't seem to get any bread. Also, if I knew that someone was ordering the sous-chef to cut my lemon tart in half I would go into the kitchen and stab him.


----------



## clicker (Apr 25, 2013)

I think they definitely have different strengths - I can imagine Larkin creating culinary masterpieces for cookery books and photography, but I could see natalie being an asset to any kitchen she worked in. I wonder if they all have an ultimate aim to have their own place - or would they be thrilled to get a top kitchen to work in under someone else? I love nearly everything Saira does and for some reason am a bit scared of dale's steely focus


----------



## Orangesanlemons (Apr 26, 2013)

Dale makes the kind of food a serial killer would make imho.


----------



## May Kasahara (Apr 26, 2013)

Orangesanlemons I said something similar last night  He doesn't look like he actually eats food. Marcus Wanking said he had passion, but IMO it's only the passion to win.


----------



## Looby (Apr 26, 2013)

That was bloody harsh last night for Dale and Larkin but they were terrible. 

Then for Larkin to forget to turn his oven on ffs!
He got away with it but lemon tart was pretty unambitious for an event like that and did look a bit rubbish. 

Think I'd have done individual tarts at least.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 26, 2013)

Has he really just served up chocolate desert and onion milk ice cream??


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Apr 26, 2013)

Saira off then. Dry chicken cake, crap curry, sour rhubarb.


----------



## DRINK? (Apr 26, 2013)

Hope the girl wins.

Is there a bigger cunt on tv than that critic who looks like a musketeer, what a helmet


----------



## wtfftw (Apr 26, 2013)

Totally disregarded the rest of the week there, didn't they?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Apr 26, 2013)

there's no way I'd have dropped that ramikin like Larkin did tonite

because I'd have already shoved the whole bloody thing up toady's arse for screaming "soufle soufle soufle" when he could see fine well he was trying to clean the shit off the sides. perhaps he feels it should have gone out as it was?

who was the dick who ordered it and wouldn't have anything else? way to go. five minutes of tv time and you use it to look a total bellend.


----------



## clicker (Apr 26, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> there's no way I'd have dropped that ramikin like Larkin did tonite
> 
> because I'd have already shoved the whole bloody thing up toady's arse for screaming "soufle soufle soufle" when he could see fine well he was trying to clean the shit off the sides. perhaps he feels it should have gone out as it was?
> 
> who was the dick who ordered it and wouldn't have anything else? way to go. five minutes of tv time and you use it to look a total bellend.


so true...spoilt brat moment.all those lovely desserts and he sticks out the bottom lip!
so hope natalie wins for being a natural chef,good grafter and lovely spirit.


----------



## trashpony (Apr 26, 2013)

I felt a bit sorry for Saira. She was trying to make her food posher but I think her advice was duff. 

I do think taking advice on food from jonngreg is probably a really bad idea


----------



## Quartz (Apr 26, 2013)

I think they made the right choice. Saira is a bit of a one-trick pony: there's more to cuisine than Indian food, and she did muff both the starter and the main course. I thought they emphasised Larkin's blunder a little too much, but really, should he not have made an extra one each time, just in case? I thought Dale's _en papillote_ dish looked crap: I'm sure it was delicious but the presentation looked dreadful. I think it's a toss-up between Dale and Natalie for the win; Larkin's not sufficiently consistent.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (Apr 26, 2013)

i couldn't comment on who should win, i've not been watching, I gave up on the main show when Jackie who went to Thailand wouldn't shut the fuck up. i only tuned in expecting HIGNFY (and my Friday night Lee Mack fix). i remembered Larkin's name only because he's quite cute, and I'm very shallow. i'm sure i've said it before, but i don't feel the regular series has much of a future, chiefly because it doesn't serve much of a purpose. when Master Chef: The Professionals started it was a novelty - professional restaurant chefs held to higher standards than the usual contestants, and presented and judged by a member of a culinary dynasty, but over the years it's become the main programme. the regular version, well, what is it? the michelin-starred kitchens, the 'classical repertoire' and the hysterical attitude towards presentation and punctuality have migrated, but those taking part are still supposedly pipe-fitters from Darlington. Conversely, many of the professionals are headchefs in a Wacky Warehouse, or prep veg for some one-star dick and get paid in GNVQ credits. league two football on bbc1 prime time, whilst the premier league is all over the place on bbc2* Cookery shows are about to hit the wall (that ITV have just begun spamming them says it all), just as they did ten-twelve years ago, and I can see the three versions (excluding the kids' one) being cut back to one. Offically, it will be Master Chef, but in reality in will be the Professionals, hosted my Monsieur Roux and on BBC1.

*I have no idea what league two football is


----------



## wiskey (Apr 27, 2013)

I have to admit this series is over before I've understood it's begun iyswim, we had weeks of people I don't remember or care about and now it's the final. 

I had never heard of the professional one until the last series.


----------



## Looby (Apr 27, 2013)

wiskey said:


> Has he really just served up chocolate desert and onion milk ice cream??



I thought it was honey milk but I may be wrong. 

I too felt really sorry for Saira as Larkin has been crappy this week. 

Yay for Natalie, I'd love her to win. 

I'm fucking sick of samphire and cauliflower though.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 27, 2013)

Tbh honey milk would probably be better 

I'm sure samphire is something they've invented


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Apr 27, 2013)

Dreadful trade.


----------



## clicker (Apr 27, 2013)

I think it was 'honey milk'.....

Poor old saira should have been allowed to serve up a big bowl of lamb curry - that's what the diners expected, it did look like a plate of dried up half thoughts that she dished out as a starter, tried to please the judges at the expense of the customers .First dishes she's cooked that I didnt like the look of..

Why do the carrots all look black and burnt, is it a new type of veg? Dale leaves me cold and he doesn't look like someone who even likes his grub.

I bet Larkin asked if he should make a spare souffle at the start , he seems that kind of organised cook - but they probably hoped for the drama it created when his last one went skidding across the tiles  I would have rammed it down Torrodes throat before it hit the floor....nothing worse than being rushed by a repetitive arse when you're trying to scrape burnt cocoa off a hot ramekin.

natalie for the win - if there's any justice in the land.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Apr 27, 2013)

Oh, and is Grace Dent any more of a food critic than Nancy Banks-Smith or Charlie Brooker or Jim Shelley?


----------



## wiskey (Apr 27, 2013)

Tbh I came away with the distinct impression that being a food critic is a really worthless job and how could any of them hold their head up in public, what good do they do to society?? (esp when they aren't even consistent!! one likes something the other says is horrible).


----------



## Looby (Apr 27, 2013)

Silas Loom said:


> Oh, and is Grace Dent any more of a food critic than Nancy Banks-Smith or Charlie Brooker or Jim Shelley?



Grace Dent tweeted a picture of her at midnight after filming. She looked wrecked. : D


----------



## trashpony (Apr 27, 2013)

sparklefish said:


> Grace Dent tweeted a picture of her at midnight after filming. She looked wrecked. : D


She looked fairly wrecked during the dinner tbf.

I kept wondering what her hair was supposed to be about but then realised that the only thing the 'critics' seem to have in common is over-effusive hair which is likely to fall into your food. Except for William Sitwell who edits Waitrose magazine apparently and looks like a banker 

clicker those carrots are heritage carrots - they've got purple skin. It's entertaining me to see the veg du jour - I see celeriac is making a trendy comeback too


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Apr 27, 2013)

Sitwell was effusively nice about everything. Perhaps all he normally gets is Waitrose ready meals, and freshly-cooked food is a revelation to him.


----------



## Part 2 (Apr 27, 2013)

Just been catching up on the last two nights.

Marcus Waring is like that Claude bloke on The Apprentice, brought in at the last minute to be a cunt. I imagine the programme makers think it brings some element of excitement to knock the wind out of the contestants they've edited to make look a bit too over-confident.


----------



## clicker (Apr 27, 2013)

trashpony said:


> clicker those carrots are heritage carrots - they've got purple skin. It's entertaining me to see the veg du jour - I see celeriac is making a trendy comeback too


 
ahhh I see - explains it , couldn't work out why burnt carrots had been allowed on the hallowed plate.


----------



## Santino (Apr 27, 2013)

Silas Loom said:


> Oh, and is Grace Dent any more of a food critic than Nancy Banks-Smith or Charlie Brooker or Jim Shelley?


She does restaurant reviews now too.


----------



## wiskey (Apr 27, 2013)

trashpony said:


> those carrots are heritage carrots - they've got purple skin.


 
Dale clearly knows his stuff, he just doesn't look like he ever eats any of it!


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Apr 27, 2013)

I caught a bit of this this last night. It seems to have taken on a Gorden Ramsey format for some reason.
Then someone cried because his food was shit but was told it meant he had passion so he could still play.

One guy got praise for his salmon dish. Now I loooove raw salmon but how hard is it so cut a nice chunk off and mix mirin with soyu?


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Apr 27, 2013)

Santino said:


> She does restaurant reviews now too.


 
A google tells me that she reviews restaurants in that crappy freesheet they give away at tube stations in the afternoon. The one where Eugevny Lebedev gets two pages every day to say nice things about his friends, and the rest of the space between the ads is filled with rants about evil Romanians and admiring articles about Boris. That doesn't make her any more of a restaurant critic than the bloke from the Barnet Clarion who writes a paean to the Harvester every year.


----------



## Santino (Apr 27, 2013)

Silas Loom said:


> A google tells me that she reviews restaurants in that crappy freesheet they give away at tube stations in the afternoon. The one where Eugevny Lebedev gets two pages every day to say nice things about his friends, and the rest of the space between the ads is filled with rants about evil Romanians and admiring articles about Boris. That doesn't make her any more of a restaurant critic than the bloke from the Barnet Clarion who writes a paean to the Harvester every year.


Chill.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Apr 27, 2013)

Santino said:


> Chill.


 
The alternative would be to admit that I was wrong. It's hardly Scylla and Charybdis.


----------



## belboid (Apr 27, 2013)

Nine Bob Note said:


> there's no way I'd have dropped that ramikin like Larkin did tonite
> 
> because I'd have already shoved the whole bloody thing up toady's arse for screaming "soufle soufle soufle" when he could see fine well he was trying to clean the shit off the sides. perhaps he feels it should have gone out as it was?
> 
> who was the dick who ordered it and wouldn't have anything else? way to go. five minutes of tv time and you use it to look a total bellend.


Maybe he just didn't want anything else?  What's  wrong with that?


----------



## clicker (Apr 27, 2013)

belboid said:


> Maybe he just didn't want anything else?  What's  wrong with that?


he was invited and paid to judge food.


----------



## belboid (Apr 27, 2013)

So what?  He's having a meal. There's nothing wrong with going 'I don't fancy anything else'. Especially as everyone who has ever watched the programme knows they pay no attention to the critics opinions anyway.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 27, 2013)

Silas Loom said:


> Oh, and is Grace Dent any more of a food critic than Nancy Banks-Smith or Charlie Brooker or Jim Shelley?



I thought her main profession was Game of Thrones pundit for Sky.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 27, 2013)

Saira should have gone through but i know why she hasn't. She makes good curry but can't manage to make that leap from good curry to fancy restaurant trickery of making you believe its special magical curry worth paying 3 times as much for. She tried fancy tricks but they didn't work. I doubt she'd have progressed her art very much further. 

But the real reason is... We've have lots of curry expert finalists in past finals. The producers want it to be a bit different this year with the first Chinese food finalist. Even though he fucked up most of the week. He may have the potential to elevate his performance (maybe with a little extra secret help and advice on the side). He's gone through for TV reasons not on merit.


----------



## belboid (Apr 27, 2013)

Saira had run her course, she didnt have enough variety, and she fucked up two recipes that's she's done for years. Poor show.

We havent had _that_ many 'curry experts' in previous finals either.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 27, 2013)

Btw does anyone else think that Natalie and Dale are shagging?
Or maybe they ain't but she definitely wants him.

When she was crying she went past the nearest person to her to seek comfort from Dean.
She gave him a kiss on his neck... and Larkin one on the cheek. The neck is a bit intimate ain't it.
Then she later hugged and kissed him on the lips and gave him an adoring look.

edit: name typo


----------



## belboid (Apr 27, 2013)

Dean?  You mean Dale.  Who's gay.


----------



## clicker (Apr 27, 2013)

Gromit said:


> Btw does anyone else think that Natalie and Dean are shagging?
> Or maybe they ain't but she definitely wants him.
> 
> When she was crying she went past the nearest person to her to seek comfort from Dean.
> ...


They'd make a cracking wedding cake.


----------



## Gromit (Apr 27, 2013)

belboid said:


> Dean?  You mean Dale.  Who's gay.



Is he? Have they said that on the show? Or has it been mentioned elsewhere in the media. Or are you just making assumptions?

Doesn't mean that she doesn't really fancy him. I worked with two girls who really wanted to shag Julian Clary. Plus I remember Julian Clary having to explain to girl on one of his TV shows (who had admitted to a massive crush on him) that "no its not an act I really am a notorious lover of cock" his paraphrased words.


----------



## belboid (Apr 27, 2013)

well, it would mean they're not shagging.  I think Natalie's just emotional, she'd have hugged and kissed a toad if it was stood there.  And was big enough, of course.


----------



## wayward bob (Apr 27, 2013)

Gromit said:


> Is he? Have they said that on the show?


 
he cooks a lot of fish


----------



## Santino (Apr 28, 2013)

Gromit said:


> Or are you just making assumptions?


Physician, heal thyself.


----------



## Santino (Apr 28, 2013)

Also, stop being a creepy weirdo.


----------



## Part 2 (Apr 30, 2013)

Blimey, how good does this food look!?


----------



## wiskey (Apr 30, 2013)

Boring . . . I hate cooking programmes where you just watch them do it.

ETA: yes I am now feeling hungry though!


----------



## belboid (Apr 30, 2013)

Really? I think this ones ace, back to knowing about food and no ponceing about with vac packs and techno bollocks. Makes me tempted to try and do gnocchi. 

I had people round to dinner the other night, so thought I'd do a chantilly cream with pud, as it seems to be theponcey thing to do. Fuck me, is that all there is to it? Scraping some seeds into whipped cream. Tricky stuff.


----------



## clicker (Apr 30, 2013)

aww i wanted to see exploding cream!


----------



## wiskey (Apr 30, 2013)

I was just thinking 'wouldn't it be cool to have masterchef cook for you' . . . and then I remembered they did that once 

Belboid, I have never really liked watching people who know how to cook cook, I like the element of 'oh fuck it's all gone wrong' ness


----------



## belboid (Apr 30, 2013)

I like to have at least one thing a series that makes me think 'I'm going to make that'. Makes me feel less self indulgent for watching it. 

Nat having another stormer, it's surely hers to lose.


----------



## Quartz (Apr 30, 2013)

belboid said:


> Nat having another stormer, it's surely hers to use.


 
I missed the very start but from what I saw all three put on a decent show and none were perfect. Larkin forgot to squeeze the ravioli. Nat needed more olive oil in the mash. Most seriously, Dale's starter wasn't quite right.


----------



## clicker (Apr 30, 2013)

what does nat  , the winner win anyway?


----------



## belboid (Apr 30, 2013)

Quartz said:


> I missed the very start but from what I saw all three put on a decent show and none were perfect. Larkin forgot to squeeze the ravioli. Nat needed more olive oil in the mash. Most seriously, Dale's starter wasn't quite right.




The pasta squeezing was a key step in the main thing tho, whereas the potato... much more understandable to go 'there's no way I should be putting more oil into this, there's bloody loads already'


----------



## belboid (Apr 30, 2013)

clicker said:


> what does nat  , the winner win anyway?


A big hug from Greg


----------



## wiskey (May 1, 2013)

clicker said:


> what does nat  , the winner win anyway?


 
the right to come and be scathing about future contestants food.


----------



## wtfftw (May 1, 2013)

Natalie does hug (((glowsticks)))


----------



## Part 2 (May 1, 2013)

Larkin's gone to shit


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 1, 2013)

Nat to win , thought it the first time she appeared


----------



## clicker (May 1, 2013)

Chip Barm said:


> Larkin's gone to shit


and he knows it....the meringue dots were right up his alley though, he does a pretty plate.

Wish dale would stop talking about winning...yes i know it's a competition, but his passion should be for the food , he rarely raves about the food!

Even if john and greg hate nat's food tomorrow i reckon they'll enthuse her to the winning post - and well deserved, lovely person.


----------



## Quartz (May 1, 2013)

Natalie's definitely got an edge on Dale, and Larkin's a distant third.


----------



## stereoisomer (May 2, 2013)

Something confused me about last night's episode. Was it mackerel with coal oil that Larkin was doing for the chefs' dinner? Coal oil? Wtf. Surely that's not edible.
Just looked at the bit with the menu and it definitely says coal oil.


----------



## Part 2 (May 2, 2013)

While we were watching last night I was checking out Simon Rogan's restaurant in Manchester. There's a few things on the menu with coal oil in.

I'm none the wiser what it is mind.


----------



## Quartz (May 2, 2013)

Natalier's been backerd by the Telegraph. This is, of course, the kiss of death...


----------



## Lo Siento. (May 2, 2013)

stereoisomer said:


> Something confused me about last night's episode. Was it mackerel with coal oil that Larkin was doing for the chefs' dinner? Coal oil? Wtf. Surely that's not edible.
> Just looked at the bit with the menu and it definitely says coal oil.


apparently eating it used to be a home remedy for various ailments...


----------



## Lo Siento. (May 2, 2013)

but apparently it's grapeseed oil, smoked up with hot stones apparently


----------



## pissflaps (May 2, 2013)

is this shitting programme not on tonight? i sacked off the pub for these cunts!


----------



## Me76 (May 2, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> is this shitting programme not on tonight? i sacked off the pub for these cunts!


On at 9


----------



## pissflaps (May 2, 2013)

oh. well ok then. carry on.

/recreates the atmosphere of masterchef by making tea and having a little cry


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 2, 2013)

It will be so not fair if Natalie doesn't win it !!


----------



## belboid (May 2, 2013)

Just finishing yesterday's off, Nat is miles ahead of the other two. 

Go gal!


----------



## lizzieloo (May 2, 2013)

I actually *love* Natalie


----------



## Part 2 (May 2, 2013)

I really *dislike* Dale.


----------



## wtfftw (May 2, 2013)

Uh-mazing


----------



## Ceej (May 2, 2013)

lizzieloo said:


> I actually *love* Natalie


 
Go Natalie! Though Larkin's looking good (and I really like his name)

(I had a bit of a wtf moment yesterday when they were all cooking the mega-poshed food - taking off the duck skin and sticking it back on, flower petals everywhere, making raspberry snow, putting teeny bits of parsley on with tweezers etc. There's people starving out there, and going to food banks - what have we done to food, and to ourselves?)

Still watching the final though!


----------



## wiskey (May 2, 2013)

Taking duck breast off and sticking it back on was lost on me I have to confess


----------



## Dan U (May 2, 2013)

Larkin knows it's not him. Go Natalie surely


----------



## starfish (May 2, 2013)

We want Natalie to win.


----------



## lizzieloo (May 2, 2013)

I went all goosey then when they came back in, there are gonna be tears


----------



## wiskey (May 2, 2013)

Has to be Natalie!


----------



## lizzieloo (May 2, 2013)




----------



## wiskey (May 2, 2013)

lizzieloo said:


> I went all goosey then when they came back in, there are gonna be tears


Yours?


----------



## ruffneck23 (May 2, 2013)

Yay


----------



## wiskey (May 2, 2013)

Dire music at the end but for once the right person won. 
Was close though


----------



## Jeff Robinson (May 2, 2013)

Yay, go nat! Glad the T1000 didn't win


----------



## Lea (May 2, 2013)

Well done that girl. She totally deserved winning.


----------



## wiskey (May 2, 2013)

(Have to say though that I didn't really enjoy that series. If she hadn't been such a great contestant I'd have sacked it off long ago).


----------



## Dan U (May 2, 2013)

Lea said:


> Well done that girl. She totally deserved winning.



100% agree. Great result


----------



## rekil (May 2, 2013)

Something going on between Larkin and Nat or what.


----------



## trashpony (May 2, 2013)

Good result. I <3 Natalie


----------



## DexterTCN (May 2, 2013)

She's been the one who stood out the most and came across as really likeable. Her food became really, really fucking good.


----------



## Quartz (May 2, 2013)

She's a worthy winner.


----------



## Looby (May 2, 2013)

Yay! So chuffed Natalie won, she really deserved it. Thought it was close between her and Larkin tonight, his food looked amazing. 

I agree with whoever said that Dale goes on about the competition and not the food. 

Natalie just oozes love for what she's doing. I proper love her.


----------



## belboid (May 2, 2013)

lizzieloo said:


> I actually *love* Natalie


You'll have to fight mrs b to get her!

A worthy winner indeed, just absolutely scrummy looking food.


----------



## Part 2 (May 2, 2013)

Gromit said:


> Btw does anyone else think that Natalie and Dale are shagging?
> Or maybe they ain't but she definitely wants him.
> 
> When she was crying she went past the nearest person to her to seek comfort from Dean.
> ...


 


copliker said:


> Something going on between Larkin and Nat or what.


 
It's a wonder she had time to do any cooking.


----------



## belboid (May 2, 2013)

I think Dale may well have thought he was in, there. But no.


----------



## Quartz (May 2, 2013)

belboid said:


> I think Dale may well have thought he was in, there. But no.


 
Dale didn't do so well on the invention tests and the fish in his starter was slightly undercooked; Natalie did well in the invention tests, her food was perfectly cooked, and it tasted amazing.


----------



## belboid (May 2, 2013)

I didn't mean with the competition 

I still think that, like last year, they basically make up a tiny flaw in the other two's dishes, so that there is a clear winner 'on the day'. But Nat was clearly the best over the last week, if not longer.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (May 2, 2013)

I'm sure this has been asked before, but how do the timings actually work? They can't all finish concurrently, surely - so is it staggered or even consecutive? The way that the plated food reappears when it is being discussed after being eaten is also confusing; Masterchef has a lot to learn from Doctor Who when it comes to avoiding temporal paradox.


----------



## belboid (May 2, 2013)

They do two dishes - one for eating and one for filming. Apparently they eat twenty or so minutes after its presented - so it's cold, but they can still tell about the flavours and textures n stuff. I don't see how that foam nonsense could survive twenty minutes myself.


----------



## wiskey (May 2, 2013)

http://greggwallacelovesfood.tumblr.com/

dear oh dear


----------



## renegadechicken (May 2, 2013)

Arghh...i dont have a telly and tonights episode wasn't available tonight on iplayer............and i know who won before watching it


----------



## Maurice Picarda (May 2, 2013)

belboid said:


> They do two dishes - one for eating and one for filming. Apparently they eat twenty or so minutes after its presented - so it's cold, but they can still tell about the flavours and textures n stuff. I don't see how that foam nonsense could survive twenty minutes myself.


 
Yes, nothing would be very impressive after congealing for twenty minutes. So Greg Wallace dredges up all that enthusiasm from a dark inner core of sham and pretence.


----------



## wiskey (May 2, 2013)

apparently she won it because she made a great scotch egg . . . which after twenty minutes was probably a bit minging at the very least

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-22380121


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## weepiper (May 2, 2013)

Wee working class lassie from an office job cooks amazing food and beats everyone else hands down, and all some people can talk about is which one of the other contestants she's shagging


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## rekil (May 2, 2013)

weepiper said:


> Wee working class lassie from an office job cooks amazing food and beats everyone else hands down, and all some people can talk about is which one of the other contestants she's shagging


Why do you hate love


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## Looby (May 2, 2013)

weepiper said:


> Wee working class lassie from an office job cooks amazing food and beats everyone else hands down, and all some people can talk about is which one of the other contestants she's shagging



Exactly. Can't they just all have got on?If I was shagging everyone I hugged, I'd barely have time to make a pot noodle.


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## belboid (May 2, 2013)

weepiper said:


> Wee working class lassie from an office job cooks amazing food and beats everyone else hands down, and all some people can talk about is which one of the other contestants she's shagging


It got two comments, from a small minority of participants.  All of whom (I think) also said she did fucking amazing looking food.  So don't talk shite.


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## Lea (May 3, 2013)

I thought Larkin's portion of morning glory was on the small side!


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## toggle (May 3, 2013)

weepiper said:


> Wee working class lassie from an office job cooks amazing food and beats everyone else hands down, and all some people can talk about is which one of the other contestants she's shagging


 
usual fucking suspects, innit.


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## Steel Icarus (May 3, 2013)

All of them from w/c backgrounds, innit. Surprising to see, and sad it's so surprising. I was delighted when that posh knobber went out in the semis or quarters or whatever, delighted. But not as happy as when Nat won, she was the most consistent and kept getting better. I thought it was great how they all seemed genuinely supportive of each other, too. 

I really want a black pudding-wrapped egg, now.


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## Maurice Picarda (May 3, 2013)

S☼I said:


> I really want a black pudding-wrapped egg, now.


 
Food porn. It leads to unrealistic expectations about what normal eating should be like, and eventually to people visiting seedy "restaurants", where trafficked chefs work 14-hour days to feed the fantasies that Masterchef inspires. Domestic science education hasn't caught up with food porn - what teenager these days doesn't have clips of sous vide technique on his phone? - and it's up to teachers and parents to explain that the fine dining industry relies on degradation and exploitation.


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## Dan U (May 3, 2013)

Black pudding scotch eggs are lovely

Anyone else think Larkin fully blagged this? He was so crap on all of the invention tests it was clear he could do what he practiced - albeit very, very well - but there wasn't much else in the bank so to speak. 

Having said that I thought he looked really chuffed for Natalie and knew full well the game was up for him and that he couldn't compete with her. 

A fairly average series came up with the best winner. 

The feeding past winners round will be considerably less 'mad skills' from now on too


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## paulhackett (May 3, 2013)

sparklefish said:


> Exactly. Can't they just all have got on?If I was shagging everyone I hugged, I'd barely have time to make a pot noodle.


 
Make time. Maybe you could bring the pot noodle into the foreplay? An hors d'oeuvres if you will..


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## Spark (May 3, 2013)

Just caught up. Very pleased she won. As well as clearly being very talented at cooking Mr spark and I have loved the slightly random comments Natalie kept coming out with.


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## nagapie (May 3, 2013)

I liked it when she told John and Greg she was making pork but that she was going to 'pimp it up'.


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## DexterTCN (May 4, 2013)

Nice interview with Nat.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-ra.../may/03/natalie-coleman-masterchef-scotch-egg


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## Me76 (May 4, 2013)

Can't believe she had to keep it a secret for 5 months.  I'd have gone potty!


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## Gromit (May 4, 2013)

Is the result finally in?

Who was she shagging?


I hate the whole she won with a mere scotch egg spin. 
She won with a decent belly pork dish with a fancy scotch egg looking out of place on the side. 
Scotch eggs were invented for the posh. It's now that they are cheapie and common. 

Best chef won though. Hope we get a restaurant out of this and not another food writer.


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## Gromit (May 4, 2013)

p.s. Anthony Warrel Thompson's signature belly pork dish is nicer.


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## Santino (May 5, 2013)

Gromit said:


> Who was she shagging?


sad little creep


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## toggle (May 5, 2013)

Gromit said:


> Is the result finally in?
> 
> Who was she shagging?


 
not you


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## Gromit (May 5, 2013)

Santino said:


> sad little creep



That was a joke because someone made such a big deal about me speculating on some body language of her's previously. Get a sense of bleeding humour people.


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## weepiper (May 5, 2013)

Say something funny and we'll get a sense of humour.


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## Cribynkle (May 5, 2013)

S☼I said:


> All of them from w/c backgrounds, innit. Surprising to see, and sad it's so surprising. I was delighted when that posh knobber went out in the semis or quarters or whatever, delighted. But not as happy as when Nat won, she was the most consistent and kept getting better. I thought it was great how they all seemed genuinely supportive of each other, too.
> 
> I really want a black pudding-wrapped egg, now.


 
http://manchesteregg.com/ I think they sell them at the Etihad on match days


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## Part 2 (May 5, 2013)

I'm pretty sure the original crumb on the mancegg was salt n vinegar crisps.


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## clicker (May 5, 2013)

Gromit said:


> p.s. Anthony Warrel Thompson's signature belly pork dish is nicer.


 
and cost him much less.


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## purenarcotic (May 6, 2013)

She's about to start a job with Wearing, he offered her the job because he was so impressed with her.

He is still a cunt, but it'll be amazing for her to go straight into a 2 star kitchen, fab experience.  Good for her.


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## Santino (May 6, 2013)

Gromit said:


> That was a joke because someone made such a big deal about me speculating on some body language of her's previously. Get a sense of bleeding humour people.


Humourless feminists.


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## Gromit (May 6, 2013)

purenarcotic said:


> She's about to start a job with Wearing, he offered her the job because he was so impressed with her.
> 
> He is still a cunt, but it'll be amazing for her to go straight into a 2 star kitchen, fab experience.  Good for her.



I saw cunt and imedietly thought you meant Marco Pierre White and mentally screamed nooo don't do it.

She do well having Wearing on her CV. Shit pay to begin with though. I'd have gone straight for setting my own restaurant up but as she is relatively new to cooking an apprenirship ain't a bad idea.


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## MizzJazz (May 30, 2013)

From the moment she was the first audition, I knew I HATED Natasha!! Who lied & told her she was so good looking?? Get over yourself! She is such a snob & SO annoying! She reminds me of a junior high "mean girl". Pretty hair & pretty clothes do NOT make u pretty. The blonde is drop dead gorgeous & never once had to mention it bcuz she can cool her ass off. The petite lil brunette is cute too & didn't have to talk about it. I hope Krissi kicks her skinny lil ass! And what was up with sending Sasha home?? They should have sent Howard home! He shouldn't even have made it through auditions, they just liked his soldier sob story. I hate that crap. It should be about the cooking. The ones to beat: Jordan, Jessie & the Asian guy. I love Krissi's personality the best& Beenie(I think that's his name?), but not sure if either one of them can make "fancy" dishes. I bet Krissi's home cooking tastes the best though. Unfortunately, this show doesn't seem to be all about the cooking..


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## Dan U (May 30, 2013)

which country you in MizzJazz


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## belboid (May 30, 2013)

has my memory completely gone, or is MizzJazz talking about the aussie (or somesuch) version?


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## clicker (May 30, 2013)

It sounds like a Bratz movie.


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