# Can squirrels get addicted to crack?



## Bob (Oct 3, 2005)

Now in many ways this thread should be in Suburban, or maybe drugs. But you'll see why it really belongs in Brixton.

Yesterday I was chatting to one of my neighbours and he pointed out that the reason I had found his screwdriver in our front garden (in central Brixton) was that crack users / dealers sometimes hide bits of their stash in our garden.

An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.

Now I assume that if the squirrel dug up a rock of crack and nibbled it it wouldn't get any effect. But what if it did? And do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels? Turf wars (flower bed wars) between dealers & squirrels?   

Squirrels have nasty bites so I'm now worried by being done over by a twitchy squirrel.


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## zenie (Oct 3, 2005)

LMAO only in Brixton


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## Ms T (Oct 3, 2005)

I still don't understand why your neighbour's screwdriver was in your garden?    

I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become addicted to kitty crack (catnip).  We got home last night to find they'd found the bag, and ripped it open so it was all over the kitchen.


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## Bob (Oct 3, 2005)

Ms T said:
			
		

> I still don't understand why your neighbour's screwdriver was in your garden?



They'd been using it to either mark where they put something or to dig the crack up with. My neighbour's front garden is fairly full of building rubbish - so they'd probably nicked it from there.


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## passenger (Oct 3, 2005)

i gooogled it


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## fanta (Oct 3, 2005)

Bob said:
			
		

> Now in many ways this thread should be in Suburban, or maybe drugs. But you'll see why it really belongs in Brixton.
> 
> Yesterday I was chatting to one of my neighbours and he pointed out that the reason I had found his screwdriver in our front garden (in central Brixton) was that crack users / dealers sometimes hide bits of their stash in our garden.
> 
> ...



Wow   

Have you though of writing and suggesting this as a vital research subject to New Scientist?


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## twistedAM (Oct 3, 2005)

Ms T said:
			
		

> I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become addicted to kitty crack (catnip).



It's true. That happened to Cartman's cat in South Park...she invited all the cats round and they were chopping up lines of catnip and snorting it.


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## lang rabbie (Oct 3, 2005)

Bob said:
			
		

> Now I assume that if the squirrel dug up a rock of crack and nibbled it it wouldn't get any effect. But what if it did? And do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels?



Medical researchers have developed self-medicating cocaine-binging rats*, so I supect a squirrel could become a crackhead.

But, who cares about the science - just issue a press release to the South London Press, saying how concerned you are about the health of the squirrels.   Crime and furry animals - it's bound to make the front page of The SLP.     

When the RSPCA get wind of a story that there are crack-crazed squirrels at risk of harm in the area, their vigilante forces will zoom into action.  

The local crack dealers will have to face the daunting prospect of hundreds of middle-aged Home Counties animal-lovers maintaining a twenty-four hour vigil to protect innocent squirrels from the crack menace. 


* Source: I kid you not - Repeated self-administered cocaine "binges" in rats: effects on cocaine intake and withdrawal Psychopharmacology (Berl). 2001 Mar;154(3):292-300.


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## Bob (Oct 3, 2005)

lang rabbie said:
			
		

> Medical researchers have developed self-medicating cocaine-binging rats*, so I supect a squirrel could become a crackhead.
> 
> But, who cares about the science - just issue a press release to the South London Press, saying how concerned you are about the health of the squirrels.   Crime and furry animals - it's bound to make the front page of The SLP.
> 
> ...



  They can clear up my front yard while they're there. 

I did read a history of cocaine recently. Apparently they've given it to chimps too - who have to hit a bar to get their dose of cocaine. The researchers then increase the number of times the chimp has to hit a bar til the point that the chimp gives up. With most drugs they find a number of hits where the chimp can't be bothered anymore. With cocaine the chimps keep on hitting the bar until the researchers stop the experiment - in one case after the chimp has twacked it 13,000 times.


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## deese_nuts (Oct 3, 2005)

Ms T said:
			
		

> I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become addicted to kitty crack (catnip).  We got home last night to find they'd found the bag, and ripped it open so it was all over the kitchen.


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## guinnessdrinker (Oct 3, 2005)

Bob said:
			
		

> They can clear up my front yard while they're there.
> 
> I did read a history of cocaine recently. Apparently they've given it to chimps too - who have to hit a bar to get their dose of cocaine. The researchers then increase the number of times the chimp has to hit a bar til the point that the chimp gives up. With most drugs they find a number of hits where the chimp can't be bothered anymore. With cocaine the chimps keep on hitting the bar until the researchers stop the experiment - in one case after the chimp has twacked it 13,000 times.



 where are the animal rights protesters when we need them?


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## colacubes (Oct 3, 2005)

Bob said:
			
		

> Yesterday I was chatting to one of my neighbours and he pointed out that the reason I had found his screwdriver in our front garden (in central Brixton) was that crack users / dealers sometimes hide bits of their stash in our garden.
> 
> An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.
> 
> ...



Maybe a more important question is though...

Could we somehow wean the Brixton crack-heads onto nuts?  That would be an interesting experiment.


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## Stobart Stopper (Oct 3, 2005)

nipsla said:
			
		

> Maybe a more important question is though...
> 
> Could we somehow wean the Brixton crack-heads onto nuts?  That would be an interesting experiment.


It just wouldn't sound right at the copshop:

"Why did you rob that man of his wallet and mobile phone?"

"I wanted to buy nuts,officer."

"Don't bullshit me, son."

"No, seriously. I needed to sell the phone to buy nuts. I'm an addict."


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## Red Faction (Oct 4, 2005)

this is one of the reasons i love U75 so
this thread belongs in the archive!!


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## Louloubelle (Oct 4, 2005)

Bob said:
			
		

> Turf wars (flower bed wars) between dealers & squirrels?



surely you mean tufty wars?

















*gets coat"


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## Bob (Oct 4, 2005)

That's made my morning.


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## prunus (Oct 4, 2005)

lang rabbie said:
			
		

> When the RSPCA get wind of a story that there are crack-crazed squirrels at risk of harm in the area, their vigilante forces will zoom into action.
> 
> The local crack dealers will have to face the daunting prospect of hundreds of middle-aged Home Counties animal-lovers maintaining a twenty-four hour vigil to protect innocent squirrels from the crack menace.



This is probably the best idea I've heard in ages!!!


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## geminisnake (Oct 4, 2005)

Tears of laughter rolling down my face 

I'm going to pm pogofish a link to this thread, dunno if he'll be able to advise one way or t'other.


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## pogofish (Oct 4, 2005)

Brilliant thread!   

There are studies into cocaine/other drugs & the effects on rodents but not specifically squirrells.  The picture it conjures is great - squirrells defend their nut stashes with great courage & determination so I'd imagine that a crack-crazed tree-rat would be a formidable opponent indeed.

Some of the dealers might even try training them to defend their supplies!

Bringing it to the attention of the animal agencies would probably be the best thing - If only to sit back & watch the moral panic get into high-gear!


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## Skim (Oct 4, 2005)

Louloubelle said:
			
		

> surely you mean tufty wars?



  

What a tragic end for Tufty


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## Louloubelle (Oct 4, 2005)

can human get addicted to squirrels?

http://www.scarysquirrel.org/pal/sha1.html


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## trabuquera (Oct 4, 2005)

*wasn't there a spate of squirrel attacks on people...*

...in London parks last year or the year before?
 I could have sworn I read about it somewhere - folks just toddling along the pathways and being landed on & clawed up by irate squirrels. Or was it just an urban legend?

so glad someone else linked to scarysquirrel.com.... anyway, I too had heard urban legends of squirrels licking out abandoned crack vials and going all antisocial. however it may be bullshit - (sorry for ingcredibly iggnorant drug question but ..) surely you wouldn't be getting any high off EATING crack or crack residue anyway, even if you was a squirrel? don't you have to heat it first to benefit from its wonderful psychological effects?


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## Blagsta (Oct 4, 2005)

An acquaintance of mine got mugged by squirrels in Springfield Park in Hackney.


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## PacificOcean (Oct 4, 2005)

deese_nuts said:
			
		

>




I haven't laughed so hard in ages!


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## aylee (Oct 5, 2005)

I hereby nominate this thread for Thread Title of the Year 2005.


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## shakespearegirl (Oct 5, 2005)

A friend of mine in East London  had been stashing weed in a pot plant in her back garden. Next morning half of it was missing (it had been in two bags). She was very puzzled and a bit paranoid. A few days later getting up v early in the morning she spotted a fox digging around in the same pot plant. Needless to say she moved her stash although the fox kept making repeat visits for a couple of weeks


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## trabuquera (Oct 5, 2005)

*sadly an urban legend...*

about the crack-crazed squirrels but they certainly do attack and bite people every so often. They don't have the excuse of drug dependency tho'.  but I like the sound of this rodent bandit:

POLICE OFFICER SEES RED AFTER ATTACK BY RAMPAGING GREY SQUIRREL. 
From The Northern Echo  -   27/10/2003 (288 words) 
POLICE have launched a squirrel hunt after an officer was attacked by a furry felon. PC Graeme Whitfield was working on the crime desk at Consett police station, County Durham, when the squirrel burst in and bit him. Someone had left the door of the station open and the grey squirrel saw its chance, ran up the outside of the officer's trouser leg and sunk its teeth into his hand. 

Now police have launched an inquiry and have issued "Wanted" posters in an effort to catch the squirrel. PC Whitfield, 31, said: "I was working when I heard a commotion in the corridor. I looked out and saw a couple of officers who said a squirrel had run into the building. Before I knew it the squirrel had run at me, up my trouser leg and we had a scuffle. It bit my hand, drawing blood, and climbed up the blinds before making off again. 

"It was pretty painful but luckily I had a tetanus jab only a couple of weeks before, so I didn't need another one. The word went around the station like wildfire and the lads in the Intelligence Unit soon made Wanted posters with a picture of a squirrel on it. No arrests have been made but we are on the look-out." 

It is believed the animal was foraging for food when it entered the building. 
Officers at the station are asking colleagues to be vigilant and to pass on any information to divisional wildlife liaison officer, Acting Inspector Eddie Bell. 
He said: "It is unusual for a squirrel to attack someone and I think PC Whitfield has been extremely unlucky.We don't want the public thinking they have to be on their guard due to an outbreak of sudden squirrel violence. This was a one-off. PC Whitfield was in the wrong place at the wrong time."


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## starryeyedsarah (Oct 6, 2005)

I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become driver addicted to kitty crack (catnip).    We got home last night to find they'd found the bag, and ripped it open so it was all over the kitchen.  [/QUOTE]

ask fat freddy...mrs T , ask fatfreddy....ps don't forget to check yer headphones...


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## starryeyedsarah (Oct 6, 2005)

aylee said:
			
		

> I hereby nominate this thread for Thread Title of the Year 2005.



"Aye"


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## Chuff (Oct 7, 2005)

this reminds me of Goa'n sussages, famous throughout India, its all the good eating (tourist poo) unfortunately every year when it gets too hot and the season ends loads die from the sudden shoch of their Heroin supply dissapearing.


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## William of Walworth (Oct 7, 2005)

lang rabbie said:
			
		

> Crime and furry animals - it's bound to make the front page of The SLP.



Disturbing premonition from lang rabbie here!!

Has anyone seen the front page of the most recent South London Press? (yesterday, Thursday 6th October)

This morning I saw -- unless I'm dreaming it --  a front page headline about _this very subject_  

But I can't find it on the SLP website ...   

Maybe they lifted it from HERE!!


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## passenger (Oct 7, 2005)

this story is being discused on L.B.C 97.3 FM    right now


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## lang rabbie (Oct 7, 2005)

[LR dashes to newsagent - so much for working from home this morning!]

I think I've won a long-standing bet with someone on what the SLP could publish as a front page with the most implausible combination of cute animals and gritty urban crime   




			
				South London Press front page said:
			
		

> Four column splash
> SQUIRRELS ON CRACK
> 
> [overlaid on photomontage of squirrel with "rock" of crack
> ...



Full Squirrels on Crack  story now on SLP website

Surely a career on the Currant Bun beckons for our Greg


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## Bob (Oct 7, 2005)

passenger said:
			
		

> this story is being discused on L.B.C 97.3 FM    right now




Any other reports of squirrels with drug addiction?


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## lang rabbie (Oct 7, 2005)

passenger said:
			
		

> this story is being discused on L.B.C 97.3 FM    right now



Someone called Pete is e-mailing them "alarming documentary evidence" of the Brixton squirrel drugs horror as I type.


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## Bob (Oct 7, 2005)

From here 

LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) - Nature lovers fear squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts' hidden stashes.

The creatures are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton, south London, stealing crack rocks hidden in suburban front gardens.

Tough police action to rid the town centre of dealers and addicts has seen crackheads abandon their usual drug stash hideouts.

But the blitz has displaced some dealing into nearby residential streets.

Drug addicts are known to be hiding small stashes of crack rocks in people's front lawns late at night.

Squirrels have been spotted in the same front gardens, seemingly hunting out the buried narcotics.

The discovery has led some residents to speculate that the squirrels are already in the grips of addiction.

They fear the drugs problem has created a new zoological phenomenon known as the Brixton Crack Squirrel.

One central Brixton resident, who asked for his name to be withheld, said "I was chatting with my neighbour who told me that crack users and dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of their stash.

"An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in
the flowerbeds.

"It looked like it knew what it was looking for.

"It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot but it kept on desperately digging. It was almost as if it was trying to find hidden crack rocks."

Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in America.

They are known to live in parks frequented by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

The squirrels have been known to attack other park visitors in their frenzied search for their next fix.

A spokeswoman for the RSPCA said she had yet to hear of Brixton Crack Squirrels but it would not be out of character for an animal that is well known for foraging.

"We have not had any dealers reporting the theft of their stash by squirrels but the animal is attracted by smell and if it detects something it likes it will dig it up.

"If a squirrel did open a bag of crack and start consuming it there is no doubt it would die pretty quickly.

"I suspect that nobody has reported it because they are a wild animal and when they are found dead no-one cares."


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## lang rabbie (Oct 7, 2005)

The earliest reference to the infamous Brixton Crack Squirrel that I can trace is here, from a Blog by a sometime Brixtonian then resident in Toronto:



> Whatever, I don't think they would be any match for the fearsome Brixton Crack Squirrel, which feeds entirely on discarded rocks of crack cocaine and is generally rather bolshy for such a small creature. They used to hang out in the little park in front of the Ritzy Cinema, twitching spastically, dancing to music only they could hear and generally creating a malevolent ambience. The squirrels here are much friendlier and less intimidating. How archetypically Canadian. But I digress...


  

I, for one, welcome our tree-dwelling rodent overlords


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## alef (Oct 7, 2005)

Reports of ground squirrels high on crack believing themselves to be flying squirrels and leaping to their deaths are unconfirmed, and probably just media exaggeration.

What I want to know is why the squirrels might be turning to crack. Is it only occurring in the communities of socially deprived squirrels? Is it perhaps an innercity malaise for young squirrels trying to find meaning in their lives? 

I say root out the source of the problem rather than just blame the dealers and the addicts.


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## deese_nuts (Oct 7, 2005)

http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.u...00&headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html

Was this thread started by inspiration or is it coincidence that it features in the South London Press?(link above)


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## Agent Sparrow (Oct 7, 2005)

deese_nuts said:
			
		

> http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.u...00&headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html
> 
> Was this thread started by inspiration or is it coincidence that it features in the South London Press?(link above)


I think most of us suspect that it was the South London Press which was "inspired" by here.


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## Johnny Canuck3 (Oct 7, 2005)

We have a term here: to 'go squirrelly'.

If you're flipping out, and not just from drugs, but in any way, someone might say you're going squirrelly.

I think it's safe to say that crack-eating squirrels would be pretty squirrelly. Squirrels were like the crack addicts of the animal kingdom to begin with. When do you ever see a squirrel that isn't moving or jumping around, seemingly always looking for something? And those are just the normal squirrels, to the extent that any squirrel can be described as normal.


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## maximilian ping (Oct 7, 2005)

deese_nuts said:
			
		

> http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.u...00&headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html
> 
> Was this thread started by inspiration or is it coincidence that it features in the South London Press?(link above)



answer here

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=134279&highlight=squirrels


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## deese_nuts (Oct 7, 2005)

very good!


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## hendo (Oct 7, 2005)

This story about squirrels on crack has now appeared in the Daily Mail.


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## Johnny Canuck3 (Oct 7, 2005)

Crack Squirrel
Sonny Charles & The Checkmates, Ltd. 


Crack squirrel, precious little fur
Let me put you up where you belong
Crack squirrel little fur
You been in the background much too long
You been working so hard your whole life through
Tendin' other people's houses
Raisin' up their children too 
Hey how about something for me and you 
Here in my arms you're gonna reign supreme
No more servin' baby
They're gonna serve my queen
It's our turn for happiness and our day has come
Living for each other answering to no one

Crack squirrel precious little fur
Let me put you up where you belong 
Because I love you
Crack squirrel pretty little fur 
You been in the background much too long
Together we'll stand so straight and so tall 
Created by love to love one and all 
Hey heart to heart soul to soul
No other one could ever take your place
My world is built around 
The very smile that's on your face
You'll never win a beauty show
No they won't pick you 
But you're my miss America
I love you


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## rastherb (Oct 7, 2005)

PacificOcean said:
			
		

> I haven't laughed so hard in ages!


I need a cat like that


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## Jenerys (Oct 8, 2005)

deese_nuts said:
			
		

>


The real reason Liljen doesnt need skinning up lessons no more


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## hendo (Oct 8, 2005)

And now it's on Page 5 of the Guardian. 

It's a quiet weekend for news.


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## Wyn (Oct 8, 2005)

Johnny Canuck2 said:
			
		

> Let me put you up where you belong
> I love you


Aww, Black pearl, precious little girl    I haven't heard that for years


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## Johnny Canuck3 (Oct 8, 2005)

Wyn said:
			
		

> Aww, Black pearl, precious little girl    I haven't heard that for years



It's a nice song.


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## Stobart Stopper (Oct 8, 2005)

The crackhead squirrel story has just been on BBC Breakfast, they said a Scotland Yard spokesman said "we are not aware of any problem", they would say that wouldn't they?
I have seen dodgy looking squirrels in Hackney as well, they sit on the wall of the police station yard. This is no joke. My husband has seen them digging in gardens around there as well. Take the other day...........
He said the squirrel dug up the crack then along came his squirrel mate who was obviously a dealer.  So they both got nicked and taken back but it was a "no comment" interview apparently, lots of tail-flicking went on though. 
Bloody disgusting state of affairs IMO>


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## Pot-Bellied Pig (Oct 8, 2005)

Urban Message Board blows long term police operation code named- OPERATION NUTJOB. 
Sources close to Scotland Yard have revealed that senior officers are upset at the prospect of this expensive operation being ' blown' after reports of the crack addicted squirrells appeared in the local and national press. They have been reported as having launched an enquiry to find how the leak occured . 
Sources are saying that the squirrells are part of a specially trained elite drugs unit attached to the National Crime Squad. Apparently they have been trained to sniff out and uncover crack deals left burried by pushers in surburban Brixton gardens and parks and to recover them to safe locations. Animal experts have long reported that grey squirrells have the fine sense of smell and intelligence to be trained to do the job.
A quoted senior officer has said that in some cases the squirrells over stepped the operational brief and ingested the crack rocks giving them the appearance of being ' totally out of their furry minds '. Detectives were forced to track them and rescue them from difficult situations involving the public. 
One reported incident involved a pair of rampaging greys who were spotted along Electric Avenue, their food pouches stuffed full of crack.  After CS Spray had no positive effect the police were forced to use Taser Guns to bring the crazed animals into custody.


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## Stobart Stopper (Oct 8, 2005)

The Commissioner is going to do his nut when he reads this!


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## Final (Oct 8, 2005)

First hitting the pipe, now this... sometimes I worry about those guys...


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## editor (Oct 8, 2005)

It was on the BBC radio news too!

Come to think of it, there's loads of junkie activity outside my flat and I've seen more and more lively foxes around too. Could there be crack-addicted foxes out there too?


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## rennie (Oct 8, 2005)

one fox was rummaging thru my bin bag a few weeks ago! on our doorstep!(we're on the 2nd floor)  i opened the back door n was pleasently surprised. My screams in Arabic didn't seem to scare him. 
 
my mate says  i shoudl go Tally ho or summthin.


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## LDR (Oct 8, 2005)

editor said:
			
		

> It was on the BBC radio news too!


I've just heard Tony Blackburn on Radio 2 banging on about the crack squirrels of Brixton too.


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## passenger (Oct 8, 2005)

some one told me it was in the Mirror


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## JWH (Oct 8, 2005)

It's in the frigging Sun, too!     

This is really great. I want you to go back and read Leon's posts. I was standing next to two guys in the bus today that were reading the article and they were pissing themselves with laughter. I am sure there are lots of people around the UK doing the same thing, so there's a lot of fun being had today. I guess some people might not see through the fact it's got to be an invention and would be a bit depressed by it, but I can't imagine there are many.

"Squirrels go nuts on crack"
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005460823,,00.html


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## hayduke (Oct 8, 2005)

In today's Guardian too!!!

South London squirrels after different kind of stash


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## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

yep, just saw this in the guardian. it mentions the possibility of crack foxes too!


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## Stobart Stopper (Oct 8, 2005)

Everyone is getting out of their tree IMO.
Poor squirrels, I feel sorry for them. And there I was thinking it was all a big urban myth!


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## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

thing is, how many of these news sources are actually taking this story seriously? it's obvious that the guardian doesn't, but what about the others?

from the guardian:

""I've only been released from prison today but I've heard about the squirrels. They are scoffing all the crack, more stoned than me. Have you ever seen cats with hash? Cats always go for hash."

There is no sign of a squirrel half-crazed on Class As along Coldharbour Lane or Rush Common - but, finally, a possible sighting. "I've just seen one jump down from an old sunflower by the Seventh Day Adventist church," said Reg Throssell. "I locked eyes with it and it stared back at me really confidently. It was scavenging and it looked scrawny.""


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## Stobart Stopper (Oct 8, 2005)

passenger said:
			
		

> some one told me it was in the Mirror


It is:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_obj...2&headline=squirrel-crack-kin--name_page.html


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## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

A housemate of mine has just suggested a new urban 'crack squirrels' t-shirt.

I'm thinking it would have a picture of a squirrel with really bloodshot eyes and a slogan like: "Urban75: home of the original crack squirrels"
or perhaps  "Urban75: the fix for Brixton crack squirrels"

Any volunteers to do the artwork?


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## Orang Utan (Oct 8, 2005)

Urban Crack Squirrel Squad - saving Brixton from the zombies


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## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> Urban Crack Squirrel Squad - saving Brixton from the zombies


 I like it


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## Orang Utan (Oct 8, 2005)

It's got me thinking - perhaps the crack squirrels are a secret police initiative - they've been trained to steal all the crack


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## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

Incidentally, let's look at the science of this story: *can* you get a hit off crack by eating it?


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## tastebud (Oct 8, 2005)

Stobart Stopper said:
			
		

> And there I was thinking it was all a big urban myth!


a ridiculous one at that.


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## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

Back to the t-shirt theme, how about 'Beware the Brixton crack squirrels'?


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## rutabowa (Oct 8, 2005)

hayduke said:
			
		

> In today's Guardian too!!!
> 
> South London squirrels after different kind of stash


it's on the front page of the Guardian, with a picture!


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## Orang Utan (Oct 8, 2005)

rutabowa said:
			
		

> it's on the front page of the Guardian, with a picture!


Er..it's on page 7


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## tastebud (Oct 8, 2005)

it's on both.


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## Orang Utan (Oct 8, 2005)

Vixen said:
			
		

> it's on both.


  so it is


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## rutabowa (Oct 8, 2005)

yep, full story page 7 but picture and headline on front page. it is crazy.


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## Orang Utan (Oct 8, 2005)

It'll be in The National Enquirer next


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## tastebud (Oct 8, 2005)

not particularly surprising these days to be honest, but apparently the beeb are taking the story seriously and whilst i haven't read them i'd hate to read what the sun and the mirror say about it.. the guardian snippet was lighthearted enough to be vaguely amusing.. i _suppose_.


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## lostexpectation (Oct 8, 2005)

*insert pun*

definitly better then the dog on a hook story, which is probably still on the rspca site to their shame...


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## Orang Utan (Oct 8, 2005)

lostexpectation said:
			
		

> definitly better then the dog a hook story, which is proably still on the rspca site to their shame...


Did that turn out to be bollocks then?


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## clandestino (Oct 8, 2005)

i burst out laughing on the tube when i got to page seven of the guardian today.    the power of a slow news weekend! 

i reckon t shirts are a must. 

i eat crack squirrels


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## editor (Oct 8, 2005)

Stobart Stopper said:
			
		

> It is:
> 
> http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_obj...2&headline=squirrel-crack-kin--name_page.html


That's got a_ direct _quote off these boards!


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## rennie (Oct 8, 2005)

In the mirror story: "The squirrel raids have led to rival drug gangs blaming each other for the stolen drugs"



priceless!!!!


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## clandestino (Oct 8, 2005)

reNnIe said:
			
		

> In the mirror story: "The squirrel raids have led to rival drug gangs blaming each other for the stolen drugs"
> 
> 
> 
> priceless!!!!




yeah, that made me laugh too! just goes to show how much is made up in the tabloid stories. not that we didn't know that already of course, but it's interesting to see it in action. 

you can almost picture the process. the hack bashing out the original story and then thinking 'hmm, it's missing something...crack...gangs...ah, yes, i know...'


----------



## rennie (Oct 8, 2005)

definitely... what's so compelling about squirrels after all?


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Oct 8, 2005)

editor said:
			
		

> That's got a_ direct _quote off these boards!


That's a bloody cheek! It's theft IMO!


----------



## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

The whole debacle does give you a bit of insight into the construction of a news story doesn't it? 

I wonder if they'll realise they've been printing shite, and if they do realise, will they do anything to retract the stories?


----------



## Orang Utan (Oct 8, 2005)

Brainaddict said:
			
		

> I wonder if they'll realise they've been printing shite, and if they do realise, will they do anything to retract the stories?


I doubt it, though I can imagine a paper who hasn't covered it (The Independent?) gleefully pointing it out. Perhaps someone should get in touch (I doubt Private Eye would be interested, but you never know)


----------



## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

I've been googling for the effects of eating crack (as opposed to smoking it) but can't find much.

*leaves thread for drugs forum*


----------



## cybotto (Oct 8, 2005)

Remebered me when I was in Palenque and a quirrel like animal called techon  or so used to steal peoples weed and mushrooms what they stashed in the palm roof.

He used to drink mushroom tea as well when somebody left it, I know it was a he since he had sex with my trouser wanking all over it after getting high.


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Oct 8, 2005)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> I doubt it, though I can imagine a paper who hasn't covered it (The Independent?) gleefully pointing it out. Perhaps someone should get in touch (I doubt Private Eye would be interested, but you never know)


It's not in the Independent, I checked when I went to the shop. Don't think it's in the Times either, I had a look through but didn't come across anything.


----------



## Brainaddict (Oct 8, 2005)

cybotto said:
			
		

> Remebered me when I was in Palenque and a quirrel like animal called techon  or so used to steal peoples weed and mushrooms what they stashed in the palm roof.
> 
> He used to drink mushroom tea as well when somebody left it, I know it was a he since he had sex with my trouser wanking all over it after getting high.


 384 posts in _five years_ and when you do post, it's about animals wanking on you. And it's badly spelt and punctuated at that. What are we meant to think of you huh?


----------



## detective-boy (Oct 8, 2005)

Brainaddict said:
			
		

> 384 posts in _five years_ and when you do post, it's about animals wanking on you. And it's badly spelt and punctuated at that. What are we meant to think of you huh?


Sounds to me like we've unmasked one of the lurking journos ...


----------



## shandy (Oct 8, 2005)

it's in the Daily Mail today. The bloke who runs my local offy was just pissing himself reading the story to me. I thought about telling him it was actually a pile of toss but then I realised i'd get home quicker for an ale if i Let It Be.


----------



## dogmatique (Oct 8, 2005)

I still haven't seen Bob's response to his new found media savvidom... have I missed it somewhere, or is the old chap being enigmatic? (Or visiting parents)

I still can't get over picking up the SLP this afternoon and showing it to people in the pub before the England game.  It's a crazy crazy world.


----------



## chio (Oct 8, 2005)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

> (I doubt Private Eye would be interested, but you never know)



It sounds like the sort of thing that would get a snippet in "Street Of Shame".


----------



## Maggot (Oct 9, 2005)

Brainaddict said:
			
		

> I wonder if they'll realise they've been printing shite, and if they do realise, will they do anything to retract the stories?


Only if the squirrels threaten a libel action.


----------



## colacubes (Oct 9, 2005)

Maggot said:
			
		

> Only if the squirrels threaten a libel action.



Dear Sir/Madam

Following reports in the press today regarding allegations of apalling behaviour by the squirrel community in Brixton, my members asked me to investigate the allegations behalf of the National Union of Tree Squirrels (Brixton branch).

My investigations have found that the original allegation lies with your member "Bob".  These allegations have had a profound and dangerous effect on the squirrel community. It seems from intelligence within the squirrel communitty that said "Bob" is acting on behalf of the dangerous terrorist cell of red squirrels that have been rumoured to be operating in Brixton for some time.  These squirrels have waged a war of PR to try and have the peace-loving community of grey squirrels ostracised from polite society in the United Kingdom.

I request a full written apology and substantial compensation from your website to help the squirrel community as a whole recover from this terrible slur.  If we do not receive the apology and compensation within 24 hours, we wll pursue a legal injunction to have your website shut down.  The compensation should be left under the 3rd tree from the left by the lido in Brockwell Park.  Please bury this in the box marked N.U.T.S (Brixtion branch).

Yours sincerely

Tufty McDougall
Chair
National Union of Tree Squirrels (N.U.T.S) - Brixton Branch


----------



## alef (Oct 9, 2005)

Part of the reason this story has spread so fast is that it's funny. But perhaps talking about squirrels has also become a way of actually bringing up the fact that crack in Brixton is horrendous, a story which without squirrels is considered too depressing to give column inches to...


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Oct 9, 2005)

I've just heard Fi Glover mention this on Radio 4's Broadcasting House.....

btw, when I showed IntoStella the SLP and the grauniad (amid unbridled hilarity) she remarked that she'd seen a squirrel frantically digging in central Brixton and eating what she thought was a bit of pale fungi...or not a bit of pale fungi, as the case may be......


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Oct 9, 2005)

lang rabbie said:
			
		

> I think I've won a long-standing bet with someone on what the SLP could publish as a front page with the most implausible combination of cute animals and gritty urban crime


Do you get extra for National coverage?


----------



## lostexpectation (Oct 9, 2005)

*damn immigrants*

... dangerous terrorist cell of red squirrels that have been rumoured to be operating in Brixton for some time.  These squirrels have waged a war of PR to try and have the peace-loving community of grey squirrels ostracised from polite society in the United Kingdom.


no no no, you do its these damn illegal american grey squirrels who come and started taking the red squirrels resourcesthey have so little and these guys are taking it, next you'll want to be giving them rehab centres and free houses in their neighbourhoods area.


----------



## JWH (Oct 9, 2005)

T-shirt!
T-shirt!


----------



## lang rabbie (Oct 9, 2005)

Mrs Magpie said:
			
		

> I've just heard Fi Glover mention this on Radio 4's Broadcasting House.....


  
Damn, it had to be this morning I had the kitchen radio tuned to Radio 3 - is BH on "listen-again"?


----------



## hayduke (Oct 9, 2005)

lang rabbie said:
			
		

> Damn, it had to be this morning I had the kitchen radio tuned to Radio 3 - is BH on "listen-again"?



It sure is


----------



## Blagsta (Oct 9, 2005)

Its made it all the way to the editorial column of the Observer.


----------



## gaijingirl (Oct 9, 2005)

Today's Observer, page 24

Twisted Tails

Has the World gone nuts?

(Beatrix Potter) would have been shocked to read reports last week that in south London, where an exhibition of her drawings opens this week, squirrels are aping the worst human habits and becoming hooked on crack cocaine..... One report describes a squirrel foraging frantically in a flower bed "Its eyes were bloodshot, but it kept on digging".


----------



## William of Walworth (Oct 9, 2005)

Incestuous 'journalism', all this ...   

Involving plagiarism of plagiarists ....


----------



## William of Walworth (Oct 9, 2005)

*(Just catching up now)*




			
				finalstryke said:
			
		

> First hitting the pipe, now this... sometimes I worry about those guys...



Shite taste in 'beer', squirrels!  

Best off sticking to crack!


----------



## William of Walworth (Oct 9, 2005)

Pot-Bellied Pig said:
			
		

> Urban Message Board blows long term police operation code named- OPERATION NUTJOB.
> Sources close to Scotland Yard have revealed that senior officers are upset at the prospect of this expensive operation being ' blown' after reports of the crack addicted squirrells appeared in the local and national press. They have been reported as having launched an enquiry to find how the leak occured .
> Sources are saying that the squirrells are part of a specially trained elite drugs unit attached to the National Crime Squad. Apparently they have been trained to sniff out and uncover crack deals left burried by pushers in surburban Brixton gardens and parks and to recover them to safe locations. Animal experts have long reported that grey squirrells have the fine sense of smell and intelligence to be trained to do the job.
> A quoted senior officer has said that in some cases the squirrells over stepped the operational brief and ingested the crack rocks giving them the appearance of being ' totally out of their furry minds '. Detectives were forced to track them and rescue them from difficult situations involving the public.
> One reported incident involved a pair of rampaging greys who were spotted along Electric Avenue, their food pouches stuffed full of crack.  After CS Spray had no positive effect the police were forced to use Taser Guns to bring the crazed animals into custody.


----------



## William of Walworth (Oct 9, 2005)

Brainaddict said:
			
		

> "I've just seen one jump down from an old sunflower by the Seventh Day Adventist church," said Reg Throssell. "I locked eyes with it and it stared back at me really confidently. It was scavenging and it looked scrawny.""



'Reg Throssell', eh???


----------



## lang rabbie (Oct 9, 2005)

William of Walworth said:
			
		

> 'Reg Throssell', eh???



You are doubting the veracity of _The Manchester Guardian _


----------



## laptop (Oct 9, 2005)

M.C. Throssell lives just off the Mottingham Road... d'you think they could sue the _Grauniad_?


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Oct 10, 2005)

That post by Pot Bellied Pig, it's all true. Every word.
There are about 10 squirrels in custody at the moment.


----------



## dogmatique (Oct 10, 2005)

You could always eat them.  Butler's Wharf Chop house does a nice line in braised squirrels legs, or squirrel loin wrapped in bacon.  Marvellous stuff, no?


----------



## lang rabbie (Oct 10, 2005)

The Brixton Crack Squirrel has now inspired poetry


----------



## dogmatique (Oct 10, 2005)

Another honorary mention


----------



## top_biller (Oct 10, 2005)

After the blanket coverage from broadsheet and tabloid alike   , I was relieved to get through the whole of the Sunday Times main section without seeing it mentioned. Until I turned to the back page, where it was commented upon underneath a huge picture of a squirrel.

This whole thing is hilarious.


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Oct 10, 2005)

top_biller said:
			
		

> This whole thing is hilarious.


The Commissioner aint laughing, now that Operation Nutjob has had it's cover blown, he's getting out of his tree, so I have heard.


----------



## subversplat (Oct 10, 2005)

People keep coming up to me in the pub and going on about crack squirrels now. Over and over.

Thanks a lot.


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Oct 10, 2005)

subversplat said:
			
		

> People keep coming up to me in the pub and going on about crack squirrels now. Over and over.
> 
> Thanks a lot.


nut 'em.


----------



## SubZeroCat (Oct 10, 2005)

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/10/london_squirrel_terror/



They've stolen the same quote too.....


----------



## dogmatique (Oct 10, 2005)

there was a cartoon in the sun today, making a tenuous pete doherty reference, with him as a squirrel jacking up in Brixton.


----------



## pooka (Oct 11, 2005)

Pot-Bellied Pig said:
			
		

> .....that senior officers are upset at the prospect of this expensive operation being ' blown' after reports of the crack addicted squirrells appeared in the local and national press.



Perhaps now they've been unmasked they can join the regulars and replace the drug dogs - save a bob or two on feeding and they wouldn't have to be transported about in vans; they coould just sit on their handler's shoulder, pointing an accusatory claw as the need arises.


----------



## IntoStella (Oct 12, 2005)




----------



## Choc (Oct 12, 2005)

gaijingirl said:
			
		

> Today's Observer, page 24
> 
> "Its eyes were bloodshot, but it kept on digging".



this thread makes my day


----------



## IntoStella (Oct 12, 2005)

Mrs Magpie said:
			
		

> I've just heard Fi Glover mention this on Radio 4's Broadcasting House.....
> 
> btw, when I showed IntoStella the SLP and the grauniad (amid unbridled hilarity) she remarked that she'd seen a squirrel frantically digging in central Brixton and eating what she thought was a bit of pale fungi...or not a bit of pale fungi, as the case may be......


It's true. I noticed it because it was digging so frantically.


----------



## IntoStella (Oct 12, 2005)

That could so easily be the cover of an 'edgy' 'art' magazine.


----------



## TeeJay (Oct 13, 2005)

I gave up reading newspapers earlier this year. This just confirms things.

*checks this week's Economist nervously*


----------



## IntoStella (Oct 13, 2005)

TeeJay said:
			
		

> *checks this week's Economist nervously*


Too late


----------



## PacificOcean (Oct 13, 2005)

Does eating crack acutally do anything?


----------



## IntoStella (Oct 13, 2005)

PacificOcean said:
			
		

> Does eating crack acutally do anything?


It does if you're a squirrel


----------



## dogmatique (Oct 13, 2005)

Local junkies have resorted to sucking squirrels to get high when desperate.


----------



## IntoStella (Oct 13, 2005)

dogmatique said:
			
		

> Local junkies have resorted to sucking squirrels to get high when desperate.


  Awesome


----------



## colacubes (Oct 14, 2005)

Jonathan Ross has just had a section on crack squirrels on his show (involving a blinging mechanical squirrel coming in on a souped up lowered convertible)   

Bob - you are a total legend.  They should stick a statue of a crack squirrel up in Windrush Square


----------



## hendo (Oct 15, 2005)

IntoStella said:
			
		

> Too late



This needs to be a tee shirt. And a mug.


----------



## netbob (Oct 15, 2005)

Not wishing to be left out of any photoshopping:

http://www.memespring.co.uk/photos/uncategorized/cracksquirells.jpg


----------



## maximilian ping (Oct 17, 2005)

edited cos found it


----------



## bmd (Nov 4, 2005)

There's an article on this in the Nov/Dec Druglink magazine, it mentions Urban and quotes Bob as the source of the story, it also names the journalist who nabbed it off here, chief reporter of the SLP apparently.

He says "I'm happy to admit it's an exaggeration of the truth."


----------



## Bob (Nov 4, 2005)

Bob Marleys Dad said:
			
		

> There's an article on this in the Nov/Dec Druglink magazine, it mentions Urban and quotes Bob as the source of the story, it also names the journalist who nabbed it off here, chief reporter of the SLP apparently.
> 
> He says "I'm happy to admit it's an exaggeration of the truth."



Any chance you could post up the whole article?


----------



## bmd (Nov 4, 2005)

Bob said:
			
		

> Any chance you could post up the whole article?



Sure, I'll have to type it out as I'm at work but here goes.

*Crack squirrels: the making of a bushy tale.*

It was the drug tale that had legs - and it ran and ran. The eye-popping revelation last month that squirrels in Brixton, south London were hooked on crack cocaine was reported all over the national media.

SQUIRRELS JOIN THE DRUG WAR screamed the Daily Mail, while rival Daily Express devoted 400 words under the headline SQUIRRELS GO NUTS FOR CRACK COCAINE. Tourists photographed each other standing under billboards advertising the story. But where did it come from?

Druglink can reveal that the source of the story was a tongue in cheek comment on an internet based chat forum. In a post on the Brixton-based web community, urban75 - which made headlines in 2002 when the then commander of Brixton Police Brian Paddick wrote on the forum that he found the "concept of anarchism" appealing - 'Bob' asked 'Can squirrels get addicted to crack?'

Bob explained that one of his neighbours had told him that crack dealers were hiding stashes of the drug in his front garden. "An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering around the garden, digging in the flowerbeds... do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels? I'm worreid by being done over by a twitchy squirrel."

The thread was spotted by Greg Truscott, chief reporter of local newspaper the South London Press. "It was an interesting story and I'm happy to admit it's an exaggeration of the truth," he said. "I doubted there were drug-addicted squirrels out there, but our paper had murders on pages one to five - so I thought if we have some fun and make people laugh then why not." Four days later the story appeared on the paper's front page and the next day it was in every national newspaper, Radio 4 and the Jonathon Ross Show.

'Bob' told Druglink: "My squirrels are still happily scampering round the garden unaware of their celebrity status. And the local cats are stil lchasing the crack squirrels, without any fear. I've had a few happy weeks of seeing my jokey speculation become a major national story. It seems that furry animals and drugs are an irresistible combination."


----------



## Streathamite (Nov 4, 2005)

oh dear oh dear....I am nearly weeping with laughter.
First paddick, then me 'n' bob duffing up michael howard, and now _this_.
I could fucking piss myself. One jokey post and within 2 weeks flat it's a national news story.
<salutes Bob>


----------



## Blagsta (Nov 4, 2005)

Class


----------



## Orang Utan (Nov 5, 2005)

Red Jezza said:
			
		

> me 'n' bob duffing up michael howard


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Nov 5, 2005)

OrangUtan....I think this is the thread...

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=90540


----------



## lang rabbie (Nov 7, 2005)

OK, who included the squirrel story on the Brixton Wikipedia page  while I was on my hols ...


----------



## Streathamite (Nov 7, 2005)

Orang Utan said:
			
		

>


during the barney between dracula and Polly toynbee, bob dug out a link leading to a speech, made in brixton the year, before showing that letwin had said virtually identical things to PT; I got the link across to PT-she ran it the next day


----------



## Bob (Dec 8, 2005)

At my leaving drinks at work last night (I'm changing jobs) I was given a cuddly toy squirrel as one of my presents.


----------



## toggle (Dec 8, 2005)

Bob said:
			
		

> At my leaving drinks at work last night (I'm changing jobs) I was given a cuddly toy squirrel as one of my presents.




hahahahahaha.

classic.


----------



## dogmatique (Dec 9, 2005)

To be forever known as "Crack squirrel Bob".


----------



## lang rabbie (Dec 9, 2005)

I think we need to set a challenge for the next Urban-inspired SLP front page.

Something on the lines of:

KEITH FITCHETT
ATE MY CRACK SQUIRREL!​


----------



## Bob (Jan 13, 2006)

It never dies this.



> _*Originally posted by the Daily Mirror 13 January 2006*_
> WHEN GOOD ANIMALS GO BAD
> 
> THEY may look cute - but beneath the cuddly exterior beats the heart of a criminal.
> ...


----------



## maximilian ping (Jan 13, 2006)

as you said in the quote you gave me bob, there's nothing hacks like better than a good animals and drugs story


----------



## Pingu (Jan 13, 2006)

this is class stuff


----------



## loud 1 (Jan 14, 2006)

i didnt realise that story came from here!!!!!!


hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


that is fukin classic!!!


----------



## Alan G (Mar 16, 2006)

Just a short bump to say this has been picked up by Fortean Times who are also quoting posters to this thread


----------



## Belushi (Mar 16, 2006)

Alan G said:
			
		

> Just a short bump to say this has been picked up by Fortean Times who are also quoting posters to this thread



The article was written by Orang Utans housemate.


----------



## Orang Utan (Apr 26, 2006)

This one ain't on crack, but it's one step away.





This one's _in_  crack:




These are from a site run by a mad right-wing American woman:
http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/
Fucking hilarious reading - check the Osama Bin Squirrel bit.


----------



## Velouria (Jul 10, 2006)

Crack squirrels on Saxondale just now...just in the intro bit!!

!!

Thus are Urban Legends born ...


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jul 10, 2006)

ah, you beat me to it Velouria!

steve coogan doing a 2 minute rant about the dangers of crack-addicted squirrels....even top comedians are nicking stuff from u75 now!


----------



## Velouria (Jul 10, 2006)

I'm Steve Coogan.


----------



## Bob (Jul 10, 2006)

I was at a wedding in France about a month back and when I mentioned to the (Camberwell living) couple sitting next to me that I was from Brixton they asked me if I had any crack squirrels.


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jul 10, 2006)

Bob said:
			
		

> I was at a wedding in France about a month back and when I mentioned to the (Camberwell living) couple sitting next to me that I was from Brixton they asked me if I had any crack squirrels.


LOL - what goes around comes around!  i think you started this after all eh bob?!


----------



## Bob (Jul 10, 2006)

Brixton Hatter said:
			
		

> LOL - what goes around comes around!  i think you started this after all eh bob?!



Exactly. Amusingly it was an accident.


----------



## Crispy (Jul 10, 2006)

Is this on snopes.com yet?


----------



## Skim (Jul 11, 2006)

More crack squirrel news... watching BBC2 last night, Steve Coogan had his Tommy Saxondale character doing a monologue during his therapy session about cocaine-addicted pigeons and crack squirrels.

It's the gift that keeps on giving, Bob


----------



## RushcroftRoader (Jul 11, 2006)

we need to start a new Urban Legend. 
Suggestions peeps?


----------



## Skim (Jul 11, 2006)

Brixton Hatter said:
			
		

> ah, you beat me to it Velouria!
> 
> steve coogan doing a 2 minute rant about the dangers of crack-addicted squirrels....even top comedians are nicking stuff from u75 now!




I should have read your post before I repeated it


----------



## girasol (Jul 11, 2006)

hehe, I've heard about this thread before, and here it is!


----------



## maximilian ping (Jul 11, 2006)

ketamine ducks


----------



## Skim (Jul 11, 2006)

maximilian ping said:
			
		

> ketamine ducks



And ganja geese. Swimming at the lido together in harmony.


----------



## signor sinistra (Jul 17, 2006)

*Crack Squirrel Has A New Partner In Crime*

More from the SLP:

http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.u...adline=cunning-fox-steals-ipod-name_page.html




Cunning fox steals iPod

Jul 14 2006

By Robert Dex


A sneaky crook has raided properties in Brixton's Trinity Gardens in the last month.

Police say the thief, who goes by the name of Vulpes Vulpes, learnt his trade robbing food from bins in the area before moving on to more valuable goods.

The fox has shown a distinct preference for the finer things in life - making off with a trendy iPod MP3 player and a designer handbag this week.

Now angry residents are demanding the villain be hunted down and hounded out of the square for his crimes.

A Brixton police source said the thief's early forays were carried out under cover of darkness but as he has become more confident he has started ransacking homes in broad daylight.

One embarrassed householder told the South London Press how he lost hundreds of pounds worth of kit.

He said: "It was a warm day and I had left the back door open and he must have crept in.

"I only realised what had happened when I went to get my Paul Smith brogues for a wed-ding I was going to and one was missing.

"My iPod went as well. I think he must have liked the smell of the leather case it was in."

The brazen thief has even been seen prowling around the square flaunting an expensive Louis Vuitton handbag he stole from another house.

The police source added: "What sort of animal does this kind of thing?

"Residents can rest assured we take this sort of crime very seriously and we will catch up with this villain.

"We have chased a few false trails during the investigation but I'm confident we are now on his scent and will catch up with him soon."

Urban fox expert Dr Phil Baker said it was not unusual for foxes to steal from homes.

He said: "It is the time of year when young foxes start to get a bit more independent.

"This could be a young one just exploring the area and doing something a bit naughty.

"Strong-smelling leather objects like wallets and shoes are often taken and found in dens where cubs use them to play with."  


---------------------------------------------------------


I can just see the fox taking the iPod to the infamous crack squirrel and asking how many rocks he can get for it. I can also visualise the fox sashaying down the street brandishing the LV handbag.

Delinquent creatures, the lot of them.


----------



## Orang Utan (Jul 18, 2006)

I saw that! 
It's in my street too, this alleged thief.
There's a great pic of a fox with a burglar's mask on


----------



## laptop (Sep 8, 2006)

*And it rises again...*



> _*The London Collection*_
> 
> By Rob Hinchcliffe, Mike Atherton, Matt Plaskitt, William Wiles and Kenneth Yau.
> 
> ...



Reviewed in Murdoch's cheapest organ


----------



## Skim (Sep 9, 2006)

This thread should never be allowed to die


----------



## Avantrural (Oct 4, 2006)

i've got the south london press front page on my kitchen wall!
didn't realise the story originates here...!
class...


----------



## zenie (Oct 4, 2006)

Do you post somewhere else by chance?


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Oct 4, 2006)

William told him about here...


----------



## marty21 (Oct 4, 2006)

i always think this thread is a lot longer than it actually is


----------



## Mrs Magpie (Oct 4, 2006)

Well, it's mostly very short posts....


----------



## hektik (Jun 26, 2007)

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20070614/tod-uk-germany-squirrel-1a5e080.html

this one is being blamed on it being the mating season, but we all know the truth, he was just represneting his ends..


----------



## maximilian ping (Jun 26, 2007)

fucking classic  

sounds like a weresquirrel wot has been on a birthday crack binge


----------



## Onket (Jun 26, 2007)

For the record then, anyone know if eating crack will have any effect?!


----------



## maximilian ping (Jun 26, 2007)

*top scientist M Ping writes...*

lab tests show monkeys love crack more than any other drug and get off on it

squirrels and monkeys like climbing trees

so yes, squirrels will get off on crack


----------



## Onket (Jun 26, 2007)

We're doomed.


----------



## MrSki (Jun 27, 2007)

Onket said:
			
		

> For the record then, anyone know if eating crack will have any effect?!



Probably kill you. Depending on the amount.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 27, 2007)

MrSki said:
			
		

> Probably kill you. Depending on the amount.



Probably cure your indigestion though.


----------



## bluestreak (Jun 28, 2007)

seems like it's a big day for wild squirrels.  whilst clearing my inbox at work i found this:



> Please be warned there seems to be a bread of Squirrel rooming the streets of Brixton . Esp church mannor!!!! Attacking our DLO please alert them



spelling and grammar failures Trainee Manager's own.


----------



## Bob (Jun 28, 2007)

One of the cheeky buggers snuck into the front of my flat a few weeks back and snaffled some cake...


----------



## Skim (Jun 28, 2007)

I looked out the kitchen window earlier and saw one in the back garden feasting on the contents of my next-door-neighbour's ashtray


----------



## Bob (Oct 20, 2008)

*And it still continues....*

From yesterday's Observer, after an absence from the media of a year:



> There was a story of squirrels addicted to crack cocaine in Brixton.



http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/oct/19/red-squirrels-protection


----------



## Louloubelle (Oct 20, 2008)

Bob said:


> From yesterday's Observer, after an absence from the media of a year:
> 
> 
> 
> http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/oct/19/red-squirrels-protection




from your link 

'We only call ourselves the Red Squirrel Protection Partnership because if we called it the Grey Squirrel Annihilation League people might be a bit less sympathetic,' Redesdale announces, chuckling. 'But we do nothing with red squirrels apart from save them by killing grey squirrels!'

In the two years of their existence, Redesdale and Parker have been remarkably successful. While other conservation groups go in for education or re-habitation, they favour genocide. With a recruited army of 900 volunteers - grannies and game wardens, families and farmers - they have slaughtered 19,500 grey squirrels in the past 18 months and claim to have cleared England's northernmost county of the rodent. The grannies, Redesdale suggests, tend to be the most bloodthirsty trappers. 'It's like: "Can you beat it to death with a hammer and let me watch?" We had one old dear who went inside and came back out with a sort of elephant gun: "Do you want to shoot it with this?"'


----------



## Pieface (Oct 20, 2008)

I used that fish shop in Corbridge.   
Might get some squirrel for xmas.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 20, 2008)

it mentions black squirrels in that article  never heard of them


----------



## Louloubelle (Oct 20, 2008)

I've seen squirrels in camden eat tiny mushrooms growing in a church garden and then behaving in a delinquent way afterwards.

One had a huge conker and had it's mouth wide open and biting the conker and its paws wrapped around the conker as far as they would go.  The conker was far too big for it to carry but it stayed there wild-eyed and excited and refused to drop the conker even when I got very close.  Eventually, when I was almost touching it, it tried to run up a tree but then fell down again as if drunk.


----------



## Pieface (Oct 20, 2008)

marty21 said:


> it mentions black squirrels in that article  never heard of them




a mutation apparently - starting to wonder if the whole article's a piss take


----------



## marty21 (Oct 20, 2008)

PieEye said:


> a mutation apparently - starting to wonder if the whole article's a piss take



imagine the hoohah

black squirrels on crack


----------



## Louloubelle (Oct 20, 2008)

PieEye said:


> a mutation apparently - starting to wonder if the whole article's a piss take



I don't think it is 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-Britains-grey-population-taste-medicine.html


----------



## LadyR (Oct 20, 2008)

marty21 said:


> it mentions black squirrels in that article  never heard of them



They're definitely real - I've seen them in New York, but never in London though.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 20, 2008)

LadyR said:


> They're definitely real - I've seen them in New York, but never in London though.



are they on crack?


----------



## LadyR (Oct 20, 2008)

marty21 said:


> are they on crack?



Hard to tell!  They just acted like normal squirrels really


----------



## OpalFruit (Oct 20, 2008)

How can we attract this squirrel extermination squad to S London?

I can't leave my door open in summer because the nasty aggressive greedy little bastards come in and nick food, I am sure they are responsible for the demise of sparrows - and I remember sweet little red sqirrels in my garden as a child, waaaaah!


----------



## hipipol (Oct 20, 2008)

OpalFruit said:


> How can we attract this squirrel extermination squad to S London?
> 
> I can't leave my door open in summer because the nasty aggressive greedy little bastards come in and nick food, I am sure they are responsible for the demise of sparrows - and I remember sweet little red sqirrels in my garden as a child, waaaaah!



Entirely wrong, Squirrels and Sparras are mates!!!

We have loads o sparratroopers - cos thats wot they look like as they pour down from their HedgeQuarters to raid the ground feeding trays
We get loads of Squirrels too, they never bother the sparras

As for them raiding yer dinner, well I never leave my eats lying about long enough - if they want to try biting out from my gut, they can have a go - but ours run off when you get close

Yours sound like they may be Crack Fiends as yer average tree rat has more sense than to take on something the size of a human - you should get one of these






Norwegian Forrest Cat
Skogkatter 

Will put paid to the pesky drug deranged squirrels for sure


----------



## _pH_ (Aug 4, 2009)

I just had to bump this classic thread after seeing it linked here

Urban's finest moment?


----------



## editor (Aug 4, 2009)

It was quality, for sure.


----------



## aqua (Aug 4, 2009)

an admirable use of the word heebeegeebee's  and this made me laugh out loud 



> With so many people posting on urban75, the first meet ups were organised at squat party raves, but folks tended to get so off their nuts that they couldn't remember who'd they met.


 don't know *what* you mean :whistles innocently:


----------



## pootle (Aug 4, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> I just had to bump this classic thread after seeing it linked here



Interesting article/interview  Thanks _pH_, and Editor for his bit, obvs!


----------



## Orang Utan (Aug 4, 2009)

my flatmate wrote an article in the fortean times about it (i may have mentioned this already).
here it is:
http://wetfloor.co.uk/Articles/index.php?dir=Articles&file=squirrels_on_crack.htm


----------



## badco (Aug 4, 2009)

Sorry to piss on your chips but crack is not addictive... Thread over


----------



## Orang Utan (Aug 4, 2009)

oh dear oh dear oh dear
badco fails once again


----------



## maximilian ping (Aug 4, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> my flatmate wrote an article in the fortean times about it (i may have mentioned this already).
> here it is:
> http://wetfloor.co.uk/Articles/index.php?dir=Articles&file=squirrels_on_crack.htm



hmmm. that article seems very familiar to me...


----------



## Orang Utan (Aug 4, 2009)

maybe you've read it before


----------



## marty21 (Aug 4, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> oh dear oh dear oh dear
> badco fails once again


----------



## badco (Aug 4, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> oh dear oh dear oh dear
> badco fails once again



It's not addictive


----------



## _pH_ (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> It's not addictive



It must be or all those sqrls wouldn't be in rehab now


----------



## Orang Utan (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> It's not addictive



shut up and go away. or at least read the fucking thread, you divclart.


----------



## el-ahrairah (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> It's not addictive



There are many who would disagree with that.


----------



## marty21 (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> It's not addictive



have you read the thread?


----------



## Orang Utan (Aug 4, 2009)

maximilian ping said:


> hmmm. that article seems very familiar to me...



just to reiterate - are you implying something here?


----------



## MrSki (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> It's not addictive



What about the fact that a rock or two can & will kill & human when swallowed but squirrels have genetically altered to be able to live off it rather than acorns.


----------



## maximilian ping (Aug 4, 2009)

Orang Utan said:


> just to reiterate - are you implying something here?



not at all dude


----------



## _pH_ (Aug 4, 2009)

I wish i hadn't bumped this now  It was one of urban's finest moments in showing up the tabloid press for the gullible scaremongerers they are, and now it's just gonna end up being a bun fight


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Aug 4, 2009)

it even ended up on the front page of the grauniad a few days after the original sun story!

but they were taking the piss by then...


----------



## maximilian ping (Aug 4, 2009)

i spoke to the journo at the SLP at the time and full marks to him for getting such a great front page out of a funny post on a fairly obscure website


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Aug 4, 2009)

yep, the old adage is true - never let the facts get in the way of a good story!


----------



## linerider (Aug 4, 2009)

_pH_ said:


> and now it's just gonna end up being a bun fight



NO it's not.


----------



## Blagsta (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> Sorry to piss on your chips but crack is not addictive... Thread over



That's why some people can't stop smoking it innit.


----------



## badco (Aug 4, 2009)

Blagsta said:


> That's why some people can't stop smoking it innit.



You don't get any withdrawals from it


----------



## Orang Utan (Aug 4, 2009)

why do people fuck up their lives and rob and steal to get it then?


----------



## editor (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> You don't get any withdrawals from it


badco: you're shoving your big size nines in a legendary thread and basically ruining it for everyone. If you want to wow the world with your incredibly in-depth knowledge of crack, please start a thread in the drugs forum. This is a thread about crack squirrels. They're not humans in case you hadn't noticed.


----------



## Blagsta (Aug 4, 2009)

badco said:


> You don't get any withdrawals from it



There isn't a clearly defined withdrawal syndrome like there is with heroin, alcohol and benzos.   So what?


----------



## linerider (Aug 5, 2009)

badco said:


> Sorry to piss on your chips but crack is not addictive... Thread over



Physical and mental addiction add up to the same fucking thing twat.


----------



## Crispy (Aug 5, 2009)

Please don't feed the troll


----------



## billythefish (Aug 5, 2009)

This one made me laugh when I saw it:


----------



## lang rabbie (May 19, 2010)

He's  back, the media tart!










			
				The Guardian said:
			
		

> Introducing Billy the Crack Squirrell: 'He's a grey-haired immigrant and he just loves crack and Britain,' booms Adam Dutton. Not as topical an issue as it used to be, mind
> Photograph: Guardian.co.uk



Source: London 2012: readers' mascots


----------



## wemakeyousoundb (May 20, 2010)

First I heard of this place was in a print media about this very thread.


----------



## Sesquipedalian (May 20, 2010)

wemakeyousoundb said:


> First I heard of this place was in a print media about this very thread.



Yep,
That's Urban75's,
Claim to fame.


----------



## Onket (May 20, 2010)

editor said:


> badco: you're shoving your big size nines in a legendary thread and basically ruining it for everyone.



Don't start a messageboard if you don't want people to post on it.


----------



## Blagsta (May 20, 2010)

Onket said:


> Don't start a messageboard if you don't want people to post on it.



cheer up luv!


----------



## Sesquipedalian (May 20, 2010)

Onket said:


> Don't start a messageboard if you don't want people to post on it.



Excellent post.


----------



## Onket (May 20, 2010)

Blagsta said:


> cheer up luv!



I'm perfectly happy.



Sesquipedalian said:


> Excellent post.



Thanks.


----------



## Blagsta (May 20, 2010)

You do a good impression of someone acting out their misery and agression.


----------



## Onket (May 20, 2010)

Ha! 

Bit rich coming from someone who is actually a cunt in real life, eh?!


----------



## Dan U (May 20, 2010)

miaow!

thread locked in 5,4,3,2,1.....................


----------



## Onket (May 20, 2010)

Well, it had to be said really.


----------



## fogbat (May 20, 2010)

Better nine months late than never. That's what I always say.


----------



## Blagsta (May 20, 2010)

Onket said:


> Ha!
> 
> Bit rich coming from someone who is actually a cunt in real life, eh?!


We only met once. You sold me some shit drugs. *shrug*


----------



## Onket (May 20, 2010)

Blagsta said:


> We only met once. You sold me some shit drugs. *shrug*


----------



## sam/phallocrat (May 24, 2010)

this one's got legs


----------



## Onket (May 24, 2010)

I'm not so sure.


----------



## sam/phallocrat (May 24, 2010)

don't be so defeatist


----------



## Onket (May 24, 2010)

I'm victorious.


----------



## scalyboy (Dec 28, 2010)

Blagsta said:


> An acquaintance of mine got mugged by squirrels in Springfield Park in Hackney.



I was in Victoria Park on Boxing Day. A gang of around 6 squirrels began to follow me quite menacingly. I was bending down to offer them peanuts and one of the little b*stards took hold of my thumb in his mouth and bit deeply into it, drawing blood. This has never happened to me before with squirrels, occasionally they have given my fingers an accidental nip - but this was something else.

Was it the extreme cold that sent them crazy, or is it a Hackney squirrel thing?


----------



## Crispy (Dec 28, 2010)

Onket said:


> I'm victorious.


 
Lucky girl


----------



## scalyboy (Dec 28, 2010)

Just to clarify: it has happened to me elsewhere than Hackney, but in those cases I think those squirrels just mistook my fingers for peanuts, and when they realised the mistake, let go. 

This episode in Victoria Park was different, however - it seemed to be making a serious attempt to tear off the tasty 'nut' (i.e. my thumb) and take it away.


----------



## Greebo (Dec 28, 2010)

It might have been extra stupid or extra hungry.  Tree rats (aka grey squirrels) are omnivores and if its been subsisting on leftovers it'll probably have a bit of a taste for flesh.

I hope you've done more than just put a bit of antiseptic on, you don't know who (or what) else that tree rat has recently bitten.


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Dec 28, 2010)

I was bitten by a squirrel in my garden, it was sitting on my lap eating nuts but went off on one when I tried to pick it up. By it's tail. Mental fucker bit right through my skin and it bled like hell.


----------



## Greebo (Dec 28, 2010)

Stobart Stopper said:


> I was bitten by a squirrel in my garden, it was sitting on my lap eating nuts but went off on one when I tried to pick it up. By it's tail. Mental fucker bit right through my skin and it bled like hell.


 
IMHO it serves you bloody well right.  Never pick a critter of the rodent persuasion up by the tail, it hurts them, can strip the skin off the tail, and leaves them able to bite you.  Scoop the body & limbs (head outside of your cupped hands) up gently but firmly and you've got no need to grip the tail at all.


----------



## scalyboy (Dec 28, 2010)

Greebo said:


> It might have been extra stupid or extra hungry.  Tree rats (aka grey squirrels) are omnivores and if its been subsisting on leftovers it'll probably have a bit of a taste for flesh.
> 
> I hope you've done more than just put a bit of antiseptic on, you don't know who (or what) else that tree rat has recently bitten.



As luck would have it, I had just watched that vampire film 'Let The Right One In' the previous night - so was quite alarmed at the thought of undergoing a...transformation. 
Be useful to have those acrobatic skills though.


----------



## scalyboy (Dec 29, 2010)

Stobart Stopper said:


> I was bitten by a squirrel in my garden, it was sitting on my lap eating nuts but went off on one when I tried to pick it up. By it's tail. Mental fucker bit right through my skin and it bled like hell.


 
Picking them up by the tail does seem like asking for trouble to be honest. Even on occasions when I have attempted to stroke their backs, they have gone crazy.


----------



## Stobart Stopper (Dec 30, 2010)

Greebo said:


> IMHO it serves you bloody well right.  Never pick a critter of the rodent persuasion up by the tail, it hurts them, can strip the skin off the tail, and leaves them able to bite you.  Scoop the body & limbs (head outside of your cupped hands) up gently but firmly and you've got no need to grip the tail at all.


But it looked all nice and fluffy and was happy eating nuts so I thought it wouldn't notice.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Dec 30, 2010)

Stobart Stopper said:


> I was bitten by a squirrel in my garden, it was sitting on my lap eating nuts but went off on one when I tried to pick it up. By it's tail. Mental fucker bit right through my skin and it bled like hell.


 

Serves you right.  I hope someone picks you up by your ears and shakes you  


Anyway, what type of nuts were they?


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Dec 30, 2010)

Stobart Stopper said:


> But it looked all nice and fluffy and was happy eating nuts so I thought it wouldn't notice.


 
This also looks all nice and fluffy.  Go on, I dare you


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Dec 30, 2010)

He's going to come looking for you


----------



## Onket (Dec 30, 2010)

Crispy said:


> Lucky girl


 
I _think _I get this.


----------



## marty21 (Jul 4, 2011)

http://www.shortlist.com/cool-stuff/virals/video-squirrel-cheats-death

people are Still referring to this story


----------



## marty21 (Nov 17, 2011)

and bumped again - mentioned in tv comedy The Rev.


----------



## Onket (Nov 18, 2011)

They've got a print out of the Guardian story in a fucking frame on the bar in that place that used to be Gold Coast, Acre Lane.


----------



## Big Gunz (Nov 18, 2011)

marty21 said:


> and bumped again - mentioned in tv "comedy" The Rev.



Amended.


----------



## marty21 (Nov 18, 2011)

Big Gunz said:


> Amended.


made me laugh tbf


----------



## laptop (Nov 18, 2011)

marty21 said:


> and bumped again - mentioned in tv comedy The Rev.



We need a proper quote and citation?


----------



## mrs quoad (Jun 24, 2012)

Back to November 14, 2004: http://rik.typepad.com/blog/2004/11/i_for_one_welco.html

e2a: shit. Wrong thread posted on - accidental bump. Sorry


----------



## ice-is-forming (Jun 24, 2012)

lol


----------



## CH1 (Jun 24, 2012)

FAD ) For Avoidance of Doubt:
"the fearsome Brixton Crack Squirrel, which feeds entirely on discarded rocks of crack cocaine and is generally rather bolshy for such a small creature. They used to hang out in the little park in front of the Ritzy Cinema, twitching spastically, dancing to music only they could hear and generally creating a malevolent ambience."


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Jun 24, 2012)

CH1 said:


> FAD ) For Avoidance of Doubt:
> "the fearsome Brixton Crack Squirrel, which feeds entirely on discarded rocks of crack cocaine and is generally rather bolshy for such a small creature. *They used to hang out in the little park in front of the Ritzy Cinema,* twitching spastically, dancing to music only they could hear and generally creating a malevolent ambience."


...but unfortunately they've been priced out of the area, pushed out by wealthier foodie squirrels


----------



## youngian (Jul 9, 2012)

Lets hope Mr Policeman Badger is on the case.
I can't imagine sensible Tufty taking crack though.
Willy Weasel yes, that's probably why he got run over all the time because he was shit faced from his pick-up from the dodgy ice cream van.


----------



## Badgers (Jul 9, 2012)

youngian said:
			
		

> Lets hope Mr Policeman Badger is on the case.



Hi


----------



## lang rabbie (Jul 10, 2012)

youngian said:


> Lets hope Mr Policeman Badger is on the case.
> I can't imagine sensible Tufty taking crack though.
> Willy Weasel yes, that's probably why he got run over all the time because he was shit faced from his pick-up from the dodgy ice cream van.


 


Explanation for that small part of the Urban 75 demographic aged under 35


----------



## 19sixtysix (Jul 10, 2012)

youngian said:


> Lets hope Mr Policeman Badger is on the case.
> I can't imagine sensible Tufty taking crack though.
> Willy Weasel yes, that's probably why he got run over all the time because he was shit faced from his pick-up from the dodgy ice cream van.


 
Tufty is dealing from the ice cream van


----------



## youngian (Jul 10, 2012)

lang rabbie said:


> Explanation for that small part of the Urban 75 demographic aged under 35


 
Willy weasel looks pretty cool in his Breton fisherman's top. Perhaps he was big on French new wave cinema.

Great site that with lots useful government info about keeping you cutlery clean in the event of a nuclear holocaust.


----------



## Rushy (Aug 28, 2012)

marty21 said:


> http://www.shortlist.com/cool-stuff/virals/video-squirrel-cheats-death
> 
> people are Still referring to this story


And again:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/aug/28/essex-lion-silly-season


----------



## lang rabbie (Oct 8, 2012)

Great headline and picture in the Wandsworth Guardian
*One Direction star Niall Horan viciously attacked by Battersea Park squirrel*


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Oct 9, 2012)

lang rabbie said:


> Great headline and picture in the Wandsworth Guardian
> *One Direction star Niall Horan viciously attacked by Battersea Park squirrel*


Ha ha ha the squirrel couldn't have picked a better victim!

Attacked by a nut-hoarding, crack-addicted, 8 inch tall killer for crimes to music


----------



## laptop (Oct 9, 2012)

Brixton Hatter said:


> Ha ha ha the squirrel couldn't have picked a better victim!
> 
> Attacked by a nut-hoarding, crack-addicted, 8 inch tall killer for crimes to music


 
You're channelling a Boris joke at Tory conference


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Oct 10, 2012)




----------



## laptop (Oct 10, 2012)

Brixton Hatter said:


>


 


> The Mayor said he had "every sympathy" with Niall Horan, who underwent knee surgery after being attacked in Battersea Park, but added: "In London, not only do we have such beautiful greenspace, but such healthy, well fed dynamic and musically discerning squirrels."
> 
> http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...nce-im-loyal-to-pm-insists-boris-8202834.html


----------



## Brixton Hatter (Oct 10, 2012)

Ah, didn't realise Boris had made a squirrel joke....FFS!


----------



## pogofish (May 29, 2013)

Squirrels are moving-on from crack to Tunnock's Teacakes:






http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/weird-news/pictures-teacake-munching-glasgow-squirrel-1915364


----------



## marty21 (May 29, 2013)

pogofish said:


> Squirrels are moving-on from crack to Tunnock's Teacakes:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 a slightly healthier lifestyle choice


----------



## pogofish (May 29, 2013)

marty21 said:


> a slightly healthier lifestyle choice


 
Not when an enormous, morbidly obese squirrel, with its system weakened from years of sustained crack abuse croaks and falls straight out of its tree on to some poor passerby!


----------



## marty21 (May 29, 2013)

pogofish said:


> Not when an enormous, morbidly obese squirrel, with its system weakened from years of sustained crack abuse croaks and falls straight out of its tree on to some poor passerby!


 this is a concern I have everytime I walk through a Brixton park


----------



## Citizen66 (May 29, 2013)

That picture actually looks close to life size.


----------



## lang rabbie (May 30, 2013)

Those quick and dirty "Friday afternoon before the Bank Holiday after session in the pub" Photoshop  pics have got the folk in Tunnocks' PR team more coverage than any of their other work so far this year!


----------



## Chuff (May 8, 2015)

wow this took me back  I actually wrote an eight page booklet of harm reduction advice for squirrels based on this story and the fun on Urban, I  Squirrels


----------



## Lizzy Mac (May 8, 2015)

I haven't read through this thread but I have heard of it and often, while walking through Ruskin Park, watching the squirrels licking the lids of the discarded coffee cups from Costa in the hospital, I worry that they are addicted to caffeine.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 8, 2015)

Lizzy Mac said:


> I haven't read through this thread but I have heard of it and often, while walking through Ruskin Park, watching the squirrels licking the lids of the discarded coffee cups from Costa in the hospital, I worry that they are addicted to caffeine.



from another thread



Puddy_Tat said:


> I understand that with the gentrification of Brixton, the squirrels are turning away from crack and doing Starbucks instead


----------



## toblerone3 (Jul 16, 2015)

This squirrel got pissed on Caffreys at a private members club in Worcestershire.






http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-33541502


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 16, 2015)

toblerone3 said:


> This squirrel got pissed on Caffreys at a private members club in Worcestershire.
> 
> 
> 
> ...







> (picture posed by model)


----------



## CH1 (Nov 7, 2015)

RT this morning has been railing against the wasteful US drugs industry spending $2 million dollars testing crack addiction vs ecstasy addiction in "baby rats". They are clearly going to be on the case.


----------



## marty21 (Apr 25, 2017)

*bump*

Heard crack squirrels mentioned at a meeting last week - I work for a North London Council and a senior director mentioned them at a big meeting. Apparently a caretaker told her about an incident


----------



## maximilian ping (Apr 25, 2017)

marty21 said:


> *bump*
> 
> Heard crack squirrels mentioned at a meeting last week - I work for a North London Council and a senior director mentioned them at a big meeting. Apparently a caretaker told her about an incident


What incident?


----------



## marty21 (Apr 25, 2017)

maximilian ping said:


> What incident?


squirrels being addicted to crack on an estate


----------



## Maggot (Oct 29, 2017)

The squirrels have appeared on a teatowel!







Wildlife Of London Tea Towel


----------



## Rushy (Oct 29, 2017)

Maggot said:


> The squirrels have appeared on a teatowel!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thanks. That's a couple of presents sorted.


----------



## editor (Oct 30, 2017)

Here's one in red:


----------



## wayward bob (Oct 30, 2017)

do they do it on a t-shirt?


----------



## fishfinger (Oct 30, 2017)

wayward bob said:


> do they do it on a t-shirt?


It's designed by a "Peckham-based creative collective"

About Garudio Studiage

They have a web shop, but it seems that design is not available as a T-shirt


----------



## wayward bob (Oct 30, 2017)

screenprinters? bet they'd do it if it was a big enough order


----------



## Nanker Phelge (Oct 30, 2017)

wayward bob said:


> screenprinters? bet they'd do it if it was a big enough order



Design your own and get one via streetshirts


----------



## wayward bob (Oct 30, 2017)

Nanker Phelge said:


> Design your own and get one via streetshirts


ooh good call, that'll give me something to play with thisafty


----------



## wayward bob (Oct 30, 2017)

this may be as good as it gets


----------



## Nanker Phelge (Oct 31, 2017)

wayward bob said:


> this may be as good as it gets


----------



## Chuff (Oct 31, 2017)




----------



## wayward bob (Nov 1, 2017)




----------



## Nanker Phelge (Nov 3, 2017)

Just had this made up....


----------



## AnnO'Neemus (Apr 16, 2018)

Crack squirrels just got a mention on Radio 4's The Unbelievable Truth. David Mitchell said it was true because it had been reported in the papers and mentioned a quote from the Sun.


----------



## Smick (Apr 17, 2018)

AnnO'Neemus said:


> Crack squirrels just got a mention on Radio 4's The Unbelievable Truth. David Mitchell said it was true because it had been reported in the papers and mentioned a quote from the Sun.


I was listening to that as well!


----------



## Chuff (Apr 17, 2018)




----------



## Chuff (Apr 17, 2018)

Brexit has an effect on wildlife


----------



## Gramsci (Apr 23, 2018)

AnnO'Neemus said:


> Crack squirrels just got a mention on Radio 4's The Unbelievable Truth. David Mitchell said it was true because it had been reported in the papers and mentioned a quote from the Sun.



I was half listening to it then heard the word "crack squirrels" 

Full program here.
BBC Radio 4 - The Unbelievable Truth, Series 20, Episode 3

I think it must be half way through.


----------



## cuppa tee (Jun 25, 2018)

And now it's eels.....
Eels are getting high on cocaine in Britain's drug-polluted rivers


----------



## organicpanda (Jun 26, 2018)

cuppa tee said:


> And now it's eels.....
> Eels are getting high on cocaine in Britain's drug-polluted rivers


always thought they were wrong 'uns


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## Winot (Jul 18, 2018)

Now the bees are at it


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## trabuquera (Aug 22, 2018)

Late update: why have I not been informed of the existence of the Malabar squirrel, perhaps soon to be renamed the Psytrance Squirrel? Twice the size of its European or North American counterparts, lives in India, has vari-coloured coat of extreme flamboyance:


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## organicpanda (Aug 22, 2018)

trabuquera said:


> Late update: why have I not been informed of the existence of the Malabar squirrel, perhaps soon to be renamed the Psytrance Squirrel? Twice the size of its European or North American counterparts, lives in India, has vari-coloured coat of extreme flamboyance:
> View attachment 144712


maybe because they're opium eaters not crack addicts


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## editor (Dec 9, 2018)

Good to see this front page again. Well played, Bob


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## Thimble Queen (Dec 9, 2018)

cuppa tee said:


> And now it's eels.....
> Eels are getting high on cocaine in Britain's drug-polluted rivers



So that's why those seals are shoving eels up their noses.


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## editor (Dec 9, 2018)




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## Supine (Jun 22, 2019)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/06/20/police-called-it-meth-fueled-attack-squirrel-an-alabama-fugitive-says-its-his-beloved-pet


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## CH1 (Jun 22, 2019)

Supine said:


> https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/06/20/police-called-it-meth-fueled-attack-squirrel-an-alabama-fugitive-says-its-his-beloved-pet


I couldn't get into that - Mr Bezos has a pay wall.
Can I recommend this alternative publication dealing with the same issue - including a 20 second clip of an attack squirrel "acting out" in a age.
Meth-fueled 'attack squirrel' rescued in Alabama drug bust


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## editor (Jun 22, 2019)

CH1 said:


> I couldn't get into that - Mr Bezos has a pay wall.
> Can I recommend this alternative publication dealing with the same issue - including a 20 second clip of an attack squirrel "acting out" in a age.
> Meth-fueled 'attack squirrel' rescued in Alabama drug bust


Outline.com is your friend!

Outline - Read & annotate without distractions


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## lang rabbie (Jul 5, 2019)

I just logged in to report that "attack squirrels" on crystal meth were making headlines, but it seems this is old news!


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## tim (Jul 15, 2019)

Donald Trump's Twitter feed is not safe from crack squirrels




Jeff Tiedrich

@itsJeffTiedrich
·
2h

Replying to
@realDonaldTrump
@nytimes
and
@washingtonpost
mister president sir, will you be watching yourself on TV and tweeting like a coked-up squirrel all day today or will there also be golf

186

482

3.8K


https://mobile.twitter.com/DrLateNightNews


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## skyscraper101 (Jul 17, 2019)

Meth gators!

If you flush drugs down the toilet, you could be creating 'meth gators,' cops say - CNN



> A Tennessee police department is warning residents to stop flushing drugs down their toilet and sinks out of fear they could create "meth gators."
> 
> "Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth," according to a Loretto Police Department social media post. "Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do."


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## Voley (Nov 2, 2019)

Angry People In Local Newspapers this morning:


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## Orang Utan (Nov 21, 2019)

Got sent this by stethoscope recently, it was written by a good friend of mine, so let's have a re-up of it here:
 
https://i.ibb.co/SBNrqts/fortean-squirrels-lrg.jpg


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## ska invita (Nov 22, 2019)

.


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## belboid (Nov 22, 2019)

Orang Utan said:


> Got sent this by stethoscope recently, it was written by a good friend of mine, so let's have a re-up of it here:
> View attachment 190574
> https://i.ibb.co/SBNrqts/fortean-squirrels-lrg.jpg


so, when he says 'attempted to trace its origins'.... I bet you actually told him all about it and he thought 'I can spin that out into a page!'


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## editor (Apr 25, 2020)

It was fifteen years ago! I didn't realise quite how much press the story had garnered: 



> The story went viral after being covered by multiple outlets in the national press including the Daily Mirror, The Guardian, Fox News, The Independent, Radio 4, The Sun, The Register, the Jonathon Ross TV show – and the _front page_ of the South London Press











						The legendary crack squirrels of Brixton
					

After grabbing this photo of a pumped-up squirrel prowling around Rush Common recently, we got thinking about the fabulous story about the ‘Crack Squirrels of Brixton’ that made the nat…



					www.brixtonbuzz.com
				




Well done Bob!


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## MrSki (Apr 25, 2020)

I seem to remember that a drug dealer died around the same time after swallowing a couple of rocks. How the press ever believed that squirrels could eat rocks that would kill a human is beyond me. Still it put U75 in the mainstream after @brianthecommander.


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## lang rabbie (Apr 26, 2020)

editor said:


> It was fifteen years ago! I didn't realise quite how much press the story had garnered:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I still have a hard copy of that SLP front cover in a folder somewhere that I never got around to having screen-printed as a T-shirt!


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## nogojones (Jan 11, 2021)

They're getting meaner


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## cyril_smear (Jan 11, 2021)

nogojones said:


> They're getting meaner



Bloody repeats.


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## nogojones (Jan 11, 2021)

cyril_smear said:


> Bloody repeats.


Ah balls. There's too many crack squirrel threads


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## Puddy_Tat (Oct 18, 2021)

does crack cause the munchies?










						Adorable squirrel captured eating huge chocolate iced doughnut in south east London
					

This is the adorable moment a man perfectly captured a squirrel digging into a huge iced doughnut on a wall in south east London.




					www.newsshopper.co.uk


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## scalyboy (Oct 18, 2021)

On the subject of bushy-tailed rodents and crime, it seems that the Calabrese ‘Ndrangheta are now recruiting dormice, possibly as sleeping partners

But I guess this was inevitable after Jimmy ‘the Weasel’ Fratianno ratted out La Cosa Nostra


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## DaveCinzano (Oct 18, 2021)




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## Puddy_Tat (Oct 18, 2021)

scalyboy said:


> it seems that the Calabrese ‘Ndrangheta are now recruiting dormice, possibly as sleeping partners



aren't they worried that one of them will squeak?


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## nogojones (Dec 14, 2021)




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## cuppa tee (Dec 29, 2021)

related........ 'Psycho' squirrel leaves 18 people injured in 48-hour rampage — Manchester Evening News


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## Puddy_Tat (Dec 29, 2021)




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