# How long d'you have to spend in Manchester to become a Manc then?



## Balbi (Jun 24, 2008)

Is it in the blood, or is there a test you have to take 

I'm moving to Salford, well - sort of Salford in a month or two and am planning (when I have free time, which I won't) to enjoy the delights of the modern Manchester! 

What's on the list of things to do and see, and any reccomendations for shopping and other stuff you need for living in the city


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## DotCommunist (Jun 24, 2008)

You will never escape the taint of Northampton me duck


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## Belushi (Jun 24, 2008)

I think that simian look they have is genetic I'm afraid mate.


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## Belushi (Jun 24, 2008)

DotCommunist said:


> Northampton



Its pronounced Neen not Nen you fucking yokels


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## DotCommunist (Jun 24, 2008)

I always amuse myself hearing outsiders try to pronounce Towceter.

And the entire national news force making various innacurate stabs at pronouncing Althorpe during Diana's funereal proccesion. A gem of humor amongst the hysterical gnashing of teeth, that was.

/derail


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## chriswill (Jun 24, 2008)

Balbi said:


> Is it in the blood, or is there a test you have to take
> 
> I'm moving to Salford, well - sort of Salford in a month or two and am planning (when I have free time, which I won't) to enjoy the delights of the modern Manchester!
> 
> What's on the list of things to do and see, and any reccomendations for shopping and other stuff you need for living in the city



Look me up when you get here. 

Where abouts will you be living.


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## Hocus Eye. (Jun 24, 2008)

DotCommunist said:


> I always amuse myself hearing outsiders try to pronounce Towceter.
> 
> And the entire national news force making various innacurate stabs at pronouncing Althorpe during Diana's funereal proccesion. A gem of humor amongst the hysterical gnashing of teeth, that was.
> 
> /derail



Do you mean Towcester?


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## Balbi (Jun 25, 2008)

chriswill said:


> Look me up when you get here.
> 
> Where abouts will you be living.



Just over the river from Cornbrook metro, so Ordsall.


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## fogbat (Jun 25, 2008)

The important question is _Why would you want to?_


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 25, 2008)

Salford is a separate city from Manchester, for a start.


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## moose (Jun 27, 2008)

^ A very important distinction


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## Balbi (Jun 27, 2008)

Lesson #1: I am not living in Manchester, I am in Salford. Which is better, obviously.


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## Epico (Jun 27, 2008)

Develop a manc-scally accent. Go on, I dares ya.


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## Part 2 (Jun 27, 2008)

I've been here over half me life now, wouldn't call myself a Manc, although everyone says I sound like one, and I look like a scally. People I don't know let on to me all the time, fuck knows who they think I am.


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## veracity (Jun 27, 2008)

Balbi said:


> Lesson #1: I am not living in Manchester, I am in Salford.



So you will never be a Manc! Never!! Mwahahahaha. There are plenty of honorary Mancs - people just seem to come and stay so it can't be that bad.

(You will actually have to move to MANCHESTER though).


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## avu9lives (Jun 27, 2008)

http://www.salford.gov.uk/leisure/museums/ordsallhall/ghostcam.htm


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## Refused as fuck (Jun 27, 2008)

You'll be a Manc when I can call myself a Geordie.


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## Rizzy (Jun 27, 2008)

I have to admit, as the other part of this equation (as I am moving in with said Balbi), the idea of being a Northerner absolutely scares the shit out of me.


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## chriswill (Jun 27, 2008)

Its fun, you'll love it.

I'll teach you the walk, you'll blend right in


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 27, 2008)

Rizzy said:


> I have to admit, as the other part of this equation (as I am moving in with said Balbi), the idea of being a Northerner absolutely scares the shit out of me.



We can smell the fear of southern jessys.


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## sorearm (Jun 28, 2008)

Balbi said:


> Just over the river from Cornbrook metro, so Ordsall.



ye gods


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## Annierak (Jun 28, 2008)

sorearm said:


> ye gods


I thought that! Rough as fuck


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 28, 2008)

I know somebody who used to lock all his car doors and drive fast as fuck when he was going down that dual carriageway just by ordsall, trying not to stop at any lights if he could help it. 

My sister used to go to Salford uni and lived in some flats there. I went and stayed a few times, just watching out the windows, you could see people getting mugged in an alley, then the mugger would get mugged a bit further on, then you could look at some 10 year olds setting fire to cars, then trying to set fire to the fire engines when they turned up. It was entertaining.


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## Annierak (Jun 28, 2008)

Dillinger4 said:


> I know somebody who used to lock all his car doors and drive fast as fuck when he was going down that dual carriageway just by ordsall, trying not to stop at any lights if he could help it.
> 
> My sister used to go to Salford uni and lived in some flats there. I went and stayed a few times, just watching out the windows, you could see people getting mugged in an alley, then the mugger would get mugged a bit further on, then you could look at some 10 year olds setting fire to cars, then trying to set fire to the fire engines when they turned up. It was entertaining.


Ordsall really is a dodgy area


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 28, 2008)

Personally, I have never felt _that_ threatened in Salford.


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## Annierak (Jun 28, 2008)

Dillinger4 said:


> Personally, I have never felt _that_ threatened in Salford.


My friend lives there. It's very rough. I only go to visit him when he can provide me with a bullet proof vest


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## Balbi (Jun 28, 2008)

So my madonna t-shirt and mini-skirt combo is likely to be looked on disparagingly?  Drat.


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## Annierak (Jun 28, 2008)

Balbi said:


> So my madonna t-shirt and mini-skirt combo is likely to be looked on disparagingly?  Drat.


There must be some decent parts of Ordsall 

I can't think of any though . You'll be fine. My mate hasn't had any trouble there


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## Part 2 (Jun 28, 2008)

Dillinger4 said:


> I know somebody who used to lock all his car doors and drive fast as fuck when he was going down that dual carriageway just by ordsall, trying not to stop at any lights if he could help it.



There was a time when Regent Rd was a hotspot for theft from cars stopped at the lights. The garage there was notorious for it, in fact I think even the manager of the garage got off with a load of money from the till.

Not been to Ordsall for years but it was very bad at one time. Long ago, Class War did a piece on the area about the local people taking on the criminals. I still wonder if that was like an invitation to the kind of people who knew they could control the area if the police weren't arsed.


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## chriswill (Jun 28, 2008)

I got jumped in ordsall a couple of years back.

Knocked me clean out, Didn't steal anything though.

Salt of the earth.


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## Balbi (Jun 28, 2008)

Please keep telling me these wonderful things. Rizzy's going to kill me 

(if the locals don't)


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## Annierak (Jun 28, 2008)

chriswill said:


> I got jumped in ordsall a couple of years back.
> 
> Knocked me clean out, Didn't steal anything though.
> 
> Salt of the earth.


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## chriswill (Jun 28, 2008)

Balbi said:


> Please keep telling me these wonderful things. Rizzy's going to kill me
> 
> (if the locals don't)



I have had no trouble here for years now.

I do feel safe although I'm not really in the thick of things anymore.

And for every 1 cunt there are 10 diamonds that would bend over backwards to help you out


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 28, 2008)

Its a lot safer now than it was.


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## Balbi (Jun 28, 2008)

TBF, I live in the midst of a couple of dog rough areas at the minute - places with real bad reputations. But I've lived here for 10 years now, and feel safer round here than I would most other places in town.

It's just abut getting comfortable and knowing your way around, that confidence you get from that keeps you out of 95% of trouble. The other 5%'s the random stuff that everyone gets at some point


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## Refused as fuck (Jun 28, 2008)

Annierak said:


> My friend lives there. It's very rough. I only go to visit him when he can provide me with a bullet proof vest



When I was on placement at the hospital for a couple of weeks they loaned me a stab vest.


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## Balbi (Jun 28, 2008)

Refused as fuck said:


> When I was on placement at the hospital for a couple of weeks they loaned me a stab vest.



Was it a forced placement? If so, was it the canvas white stab vest with the helpful long sleeves?


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## mentalchik (Jun 29, 2008)

I lived in Walkden and Farmworth as a kid and had a well thick accent........


when we moved to Coventry afterwards no one could understand me at school !


I loves Manchester !


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## Hi-ASL (Jun 29, 2008)

Annierak said:


> My friend lives there. It's very rough. I only go to visit him when he can provide me with a bullet proof vest


There are rough areas everywhere though. You need kevlar in most of London too, or so the papers would have me believe.

I live in a Northern backwater. It's pretty quiet. Fatal beatings in the local parks, people waving machetes around, town to be totally avoided on Friday and Saturday nights.

But it's not in the least bit frightening  because it's home.


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## Annierak (Jun 29, 2008)

Refused as fuck said:


> When I was on placement at the hospital for a couple of weeks they loaned me a stab vest.


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## moose (Jun 29, 2008)

Ordsall?  they're fucking mad there. They broke t'internet by starting a fire down a manhole in Ordsall a couple of years ago. Knocked out all the phones in Manchester


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## Rizzy (Jun 29, 2008)

This thread has made me kind of not want to move now.


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 29, 2008)

You will be alright. Its kind of an in-joke to laugh about how rough Salford is, but it is not that bad. It used to be a lot worse, but it has been cleaned up a lot in the last ten years.

Honestly! I am a wimpy star trek fan and I have never had any trouble there myself.


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## Balbi (Jun 29, 2008)

Rizzy said:


> This thread has made me kind of not want to move now.





SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU SHOWER OF NORTHERN BASTARDS


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## Epico (Jun 29, 2008)

Don't listen to them Rizzy, Salford is a 'land of flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles...'


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## Refused as fuck (Jun 29, 2008)

All I'm saying is... get a stab vest.


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## Rizzy (Jun 30, 2008)

*cries*

*decides to become a recluse*


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## Refused as fuck (Jun 30, 2008)

Stop being silly. Or I'll kill ya.


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## Rizzy (Jun 30, 2008)

See, you've gone overboard now.


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