# How to avoid my leaving drinks



## Hellsbells (Oct 31, 2005)

I'm leaving my current job on Wednesday. I've absolutely hated it here. I share an office with my boss (who is okay-ish), but other than that I rarely see or speak to anyone else, as both the office and the work is very cut off from everyone else in the department. 

I was hoping (and expecting) to be able to just disappear on Wednesday but my boss told me this morning that she is arranging drinks for Weds night. I know it's quite nice that she's going to the trouble, but I don't think I can bear the humilation of her going round and asking all these people who I never see or speak to if they want to come to my leaving do. The majority won't even know who I am. 

Other than doing a runner on Wednesday afternoon and not coming back after my lunchbreak, how can I get out of it? I don't even really like drinking, so the thought of getting a few free drinks from people who don't even know me isn't much consolation. 

I hate the whole insincerity of it. I've already had the head of department telling me he's really going to miss me. Which must be one of the most insincere pieces of crap I've ever heard. It was only the second time I've ever spoken to him!


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## Barney Bee (Oct 31, 2005)

Hellsbells said:
			
		

> doing a runner on Wednesday afternoon and not coming back after my lunchbreak


I think that's your answer tbh.
I fucking hate leaving drinks whether I've liked the job or not. It's a bit like when they picked teams at school - just hoping someone will turn up/pick me.
Scarper. Definately.


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## magneze (Oct 31, 2005)

Just say to your boss that you don't want any leaving drinks. Or make up a prior engagement. They can hardly argue can they? What are they gonna do? Sack you?


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## gabi (Oct 31, 2005)

Call in sick on your last day. I did that the last time round, missed out on my crap leaving present, but not the end of the world. Make sure you sort out your reference before though!


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## nogoodboyo (Oct 31, 2005)

Assuming you don't want to say that ^^ to your boss...

either just bugger off or - better in my view - make it clear in advance that you'll have to leave at 5 on the dot owing to some unavoidable other thing.


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## spanglechick (Oct 31, 2005)

prior engagement, definately.  tell them now.  say you didn't mention it earlier because you wanted to be able to get to your lovely drinks with your lovely colleagues...  

but tell them sooooon - and then you won't be able to sense how many would have come anyway.


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## Hellsbells (Oct 31, 2005)

I've already, stupidly, told my boss that leaving drinks would be nice. It just kind of threw me when she came out with it this morning as I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to arrange anything. I guess I was slightly touched. Until I had time to think about it properly that is   

I guess I could call in sick or scarper after my lunchbreak. I do have my reference sorted and start another job on Monday. I'd feel a bit guilty doing that though. A woman did it in my last job, and the entire office were absolutely furious. They bitched about her for months afterwards, after all the effort they'd gone to getting her a present and arranging her leaving party. They all thought she was a selfish bitch. I kept trying to remind them that she was actually really nice and they all used to like her   

I know it shouldn't matter what people think of me when I'm gone, but it does bother me a little. I don't want to imagine an office full of people bitching about me.


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## nogoodboyo (Oct 31, 2005)

Invent another appointment - better than just buggering off, although like you say you wouldn't really havr to face up to it if you did.

Say you've got to take your mum to hospital or something.  very sorry etc but can't be helped and that's the end of it.


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## Idaho (Oct 31, 2005)

Hellsbells said:
			
		

> I've already, stupidly, told my boss that leaving drinks would be nice.



Why do people do things like this? It really baffles me how people's lives end up like the plotlines of Neighbours.

Come back after lunch. Go straight to your boss and tell her that something has come up on wednesday. You have to visit an elderly relative and is it possible to duck out half an hour early on wednesday to get the train out to Sutton/Epsom/Ulan Bator? Oh and alas it will mean that you won't be able to make the drinks - but you have her/his email and will email them and try to arrange something in the future...

A good excuse should be short on details. Focus on how you need to get out early. Waffle on about possible trains and how you might be able to get the 1652 which means you only have to leave 20 minutes earlier etc. Don't go into any detail about the relative/friend/place/etc.

And next time - just stop and think for a minute before blurting out a response!


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## shortygoldtooth (Oct 31, 2005)

You will really upset your collegues if you don't show up. They might be insincere turds but won't thank you for making them feel the truth. You may need another reference in the future so tread carefully. I would go and have a couple of drinks and then leave.


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## Hellsbells (Oct 31, 2005)

yeah, I think an urgent, unavoidable appointment is gonna have to be my get out. Even though it might be quite obvious I'm making it up. 

The only problem now is that my boss is in meetings for the rest of the day and I won't see her until tomorow. I have no idea whether she has already invited people to my leaving do or not. She might have sent an email round before she left. 

Why does life have to be so complicated?


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## Hellsbells (Oct 31, 2005)

Idaho said:
			
		

> Why do people do things like this? It really baffles me how people's lives end up like the plotlines of Neighbours.
> And next time - just stop and think for a minute before blurting out a response!



Easier said than done! It's difficult when you're put on the spot. I could hardly say to my boss, well, can you give me a minute to consider your question before I say yes or no.


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## Idaho (Oct 31, 2005)

Hellsbells said:
			
		

> yeah, I think an urgent, unavoidable appointment is gonna have to be my get out. Even though it might be quite obvious I'm making it up.



Like I said. Concentrate on the incidental details. Fuss over possible train times from different stations (go and look them up). Factual detail is easy to discuss - making chat about a total fabrication requires more skill.


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## _angel_ (Oct 31, 2005)

shortygoldtooth said:
			
		

> You will really upset your collegues if you don't show up. They might be insincere turds but won't thank you for making them feel the truth. *You may need another reference in the future so tread carefully. I would go and have a couple of drinks and then leave*.





Good point, I mean how bad can it get????


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## Pickman's model (Oct 31, 2005)

piece of fucking piss.

get a mate to call you on weds - and have a conversation about gas safety or summat at yr home - finishing with "if it's that serious, i'll be there in an hour". then - unavoidable emergency - off home - no fuss. but better to do something today, so that anyone who'd rearranged stuff to be @ yr drinx can rerearrange.


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## nightowl (Oct 31, 2005)

i was in a situation once where a boss who had shit on me big time insisted on taking me out for a drink on my final day. was too polite to do it at the time, but looking back i wish i'd just told him to go fuck himself that afternoon


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## frestonia (Nov 1, 2005)

.


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## wtfftw (Nov 1, 2005)

frestonia said:
			
		

> Say you can't make it in the evening now but is it possible to change it to lunchtime, that way you only have to suffer an hour and noone gets put out.


That's the best plan so far.


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## rich! (Nov 2, 2005)

Phone Call Excuse.

Go, and arrange for some civilised person to call you 15  minutes after the start.

Turn to the assembled room, and explain how you've just received a booty call from someone wholly irresistable, and no matter how much you enjoy their company, there are some things that take precedence.

Not only will you go out with applause, it will be remembered for years afterwards as a quasi-mythological event in the company history...

so this one person, left the company, and during the leaving drinks, three strippers walked in, dragged them outside, threw them on a flatbed truck, and the last we saw was them slowly shagging their way down the A313


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## winterinmoscow (Nov 2, 2005)

yep, get a mate to call you. Gas leak/house break-in (police coming round)/someone ill/someone arrested - all possibilities

Good luck, I fucking hate this kind of thing


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## Ms T (Nov 2, 2005)

shortygoldtooth said:
			
		

> You will really upset your collegues if you don't show up. They might be insincere turds but won't thank you for making them feel the truth. You may need another reference in the future so tread carefully. I would go and have a couple of drinks and then leave.



I agree.  It's a couple of hours out of your life.  I'd grin and bear it, I think.


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## Hellsbells (Nov 2, 2005)

Ms T said:
			
		

> I agree.  It's a couple of hours out of your life.  I'd grin and bear it, I think.



yeah, this is what I've decided to do. I keep thinking, well, this time tomorow it'll all be over and I'll never have to see these people ever again.


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## Ms T (Nov 2, 2005)

Hellsbells said:
			
		

> yeah, this is what I've decided to do. I keep thinking, well, this time tomorow it'll all be over and I'll never have to see these people ever again.



Exactly.  And why not plan a night out with your proper friends before you start your new job to celebrate in earnest.


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## Jenerys (Nov 2, 2005)

I've just been through kind of the same thing, but managed to change mine to a lunch the day before, book something in for that afternoon so I had to get back to the office and then had my sister come and meet me on my last day so I could slope off with her, no questions asked and not too much fuss. 

Can you get a friend from outside of work to come with you to the drinks and then talk loudly about plans they've made for the both of you in an hour or two's time?

Good luck in your new job btw


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## Hellsbells (Nov 2, 2005)

Well that's good. Turns out my leaving drinks are actually gonna be in the main office at 4pm rather than the pub. Which means I get to leave at 5.00 and that everyone will turn up regardless, since it's during work hours, free drinks and nibbles and will take them away from their desks. Cool


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## Larry O'Hara (Nov 2, 2005)

Hellsbells said:
			
		

> Well that's good. Turns out my leaving drinks are actually gonna be in the main office at 4pm rather than the pub. Which means I get to leave at 5.00 and that everyone will turn up regardless, since it's during work hours, free drinks and nibbles and will take them away from their desks. Cool



not that I'd suggest it, but if (perchance) the fire alarm went off at 4.15 you'd be out earlier...


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## poco loco (Nov 2, 2005)

Hellsbells said:
			
		

> Well that's good. Turns out my leaving drinks are actually gonna be in the main office at 4pm rather than the pub. Which means I get to leave at 5.00 and that everyone will turn up regardless, since it's during work hours, free drinks and nibbles and will take them away from their desks. Cool



You've been sweating about this for three days now you pillock  hope it was worth it  Do you *really* care that much about what other people think. 

Hi by the way


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## Poi E (Nov 2, 2005)

Jesus, just go and be pleasant for a few hours. Leaves a good impression. You never know when or where people will turn up again and this is a good chance to be gracious and leave on a good note.


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## Idris2002 (Nov 2, 2005)

That (what Poi E's just posted) was what I was going to say.


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## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2014)

i was about to start a thread on this very subject, having been offered a new job and, after five years, having my saturdays back.


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## pogofish (Dec 1, 2014)

When I left my last job, they were all for throwing a leaving party for me, some months after my quick departure - until I told them that if certain people attended I would feel no reason to exercise any restraint over doing them serious injury.

They let the idea drop!


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## ffsear (Dec 1, 2014)

My mrs' company spunked £6k on a leaving do for a director that was fucking off to a rival firm.   They don't pay their staff bonuses but waste money on a leaving "party"

media idiots!


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## cesare (Dec 1, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i was about to start a thread on this very subject, having been offered a new job and, after five years, having my saturdays back.


Congratulations!


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## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2014)

tbh i think i'll get out of leaving drinks on the basis i don't drink


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## cesare (Dec 1, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> tbh i think i'll get out of leaving drinks on the basis i don't drink


They can't argue with that


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## el-ahrairah (Dec 1, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i was about to start a thread on this very subject, having been offered a new job and, after five years, having my saturdays back.



congratulations.

now it is time to tell everyone at your old job exactly and at length what you thought of them.  preferably _after_ they've all paid for the drinks all night.


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## el-ahrairah (Dec 1, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> tbh i think i'll get out of leaving drinks on the basis i don't drink



escuses excuses.


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## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2014)

el-ahrairah said:


> congratulations.
> 
> now it is time to tell everyone at your old job exactly and at length what you thought of them.  preferably _after_ they've all paid for the drinks all night.


i quite like them tbh


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## Pickman's model (Dec 1, 2014)

el-ahrairah said:


> escuses excuses.


has drink been taken?


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## el-ahrairah (Dec 1, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> has drink been taken?



sadly not, just a temporary lapse in brain function affecting typig.


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## Voley (Dec 1, 2014)

I usually go for the 'Oh I don't want a big fuss' route which is basically code for 'Fuck off, I'm not interested'.


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## jakethesnake (Dec 1, 2014)

To get out of drinks in the evening start drinking at your desk around about mid-day.


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## renegadechicken (Dec 1, 2014)

Well, see, i plan well in advance for this possibility. Been in my current job for 14 years, and they all believe me to be an anti social git, as i do not, under any circumstances spend my time, out of working hours, with work colleagues.


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## 19sixtysix (Dec 1, 2014)

Find religion and suggest they accompany you to a thankyou service/prayers at church, temple or mosque.


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## friedaweed (Dec 1, 2014)

Send your stunt double FTW


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## JTG (Dec 1, 2014)

Excellent news, congratulations Pickman's model


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## Mation (Dec 2, 2014)

Yes, congratulations!


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