# The Dullest web page



## HarrisonSlade (Feb 1, 2008)

I was searching through a website the other day, whilst looking for the most boring threads a novelty forum could have. I happened to stumble across this one.

Now listen to these. I don't think anybody could beat these turkeys:

Best fish and chips in Brum
The wonderful North
Where Does the real North Begin????
Chorlton, Manchester
Beeston, Leeds
Pak Supermarket
Cheap motel in Blackpool
Best proper pubs
Where are the midlands
So who is an urban man then????
The midlands, the larder of the UK
Tatooists in the North


If anybody can find me a duller or more pointless web page, please tell me where.


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## HarrisonSlade (Feb 1, 2008)

So is this the most pointless page you've ever seen?


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## editor (Feb 1, 2008)

I think it's time you went to bed.


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## Augie March (Feb 1, 2008)

So is this not the most pointless troll ever?


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## HarrisonSlade (Feb 1, 2008)

editor said:


> I think it's time you went to bed.


Ok ok. I know. But, am I wrong?


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## HarrisonSlade (Feb 1, 2008)

Well, am I. Or is the Midlands the larder of the UK?


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## Roadkill (Feb 1, 2008)

Ooh look, HarrisonSlade's trying to be contwoversial again.


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## Mallard (Feb 1, 2008)

HarrisonSlade said:


> Well, am I. Or is the Midlands the larder of the UK?



Clearly


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## soulman (Feb 1, 2008)

dullest fucking title


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## HarrisonSlade (Feb 3, 2008)

soulman said:


> dullest fucking title


That's why I picked this forum page to use it.


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## Mrs Magpie (Feb 3, 2008)

Best proper pub has been really useful. Saves drinking in crap ones when you're visiting a town.


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## soulman (Feb 7, 2008)

HarrisonSlade said:


> That's why I picked this forum page to use it.



I'm beginning to think you're right. You read most of the threads on here and there by blow-ins who are not from the places they're going on about, or people who left and now want to bore everyone with their fucking boring memories.


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## Dillinger4 (Feb 7, 2008)

I think I have found a winner Harrisonslade:

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=238568


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## HarrisonSlade (Feb 9, 2008)

Dillinger4 said:


> I think I have found a winner Harrisonslade:
> 
> http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=238568


On this pointlessly shit forum page, "How minty is my toothpaste" would be a fucking winner


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## Dillinger4 (Feb 9, 2008)

.


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## soulman (Mar 8, 2008)

Mrs Magpie said:


> Best proper pub has been really useful. Saves drinking in crap ones when you're visiting a town.



Look at the threads in here and you would be forgiven for thinking the north is all about stabbings, shootings, robberies and miserable, moaning twats.


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## Nikkormat (Mar 9, 2008)

soulman said:


> Look at the threads in here and you would be forgiven for thinking the north is all about stabbings, shootings, robberies and miserable, moaning twats.



Add a bit of black pudding, a whippet or two and a pint of warm ale, and that sounds about right.


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## miss direct (Mar 9, 2008)

Two of those threads were started by me. I'm so proud.


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## chio (Mar 9, 2008)

soulman said:


> Look at the threads in here and you would be forgiven for thinking the north is all about stabbings, shootings, robberies and miserable, moaning twats.



It's precisely the same when you switch on North West Tonight! It's got to be up there with the most depressing shows on TV, there's no variety in the news stories, it's wall-to-wall murders and stabbings. Loads of ace stuff happens up here, they just don't bother to report it because people seem to prefer hearing grisly details of court cases. I've only watched the London news a couple of times, but it does at least seem to have some stuff on about politics, the arts, transport and so forth. NWT is awful.


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## soulman (Mar 9, 2008)

I don't watch much TV but if I watch the local news I prefer Granada Reports, for the reasons you said. At least they seem to make an effort to show some of the positives, and there's a lot of them!


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## chio (Mar 9, 2008)

If there aren't any murders in the North West that day, North West Tonight will find someone in Skem or somewhere who's distantly related to someone who was murdered in some other part of the country two weeks ago and get Dave Guest to stand outside their house describing how an atmosphere of shock and grief has descended over the town. 

And they re-hash the same grisly, depressing report ("she was stabbed eighteen times as she pleaded for her life") for ten minutes at the time of a crime, the arrest of a suspect, the verdict and the sentence, at which point they usually add that the murderer's mother wept as she watched her only son led from the courtroom. It's enough to make you want to smash your TV and slit your wrists with the shards of glass. Sort it out, Gordon!


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## soulman (Mar 9, 2008)

I think Gordon needs to take a back seat, blend into the background and idly boast about his Krypton Factor days, and let some new and younger journalists take the helm. He's getting old and tired and that shows in the NWT output these days.


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## chio (Mar 10, 2008)

soulman said:


> I think Gordon needs to take a back seat, blend into the background and idly boast about his Krypton Factor days, and let some new and younger journalists take the helm. He's getting old and tired and that shows in the NWT output these days.



I think the lot of them are a bit lazy; Gordon's increasingly tired act is a symptom, but even if they got the world's greatest presentation team in they'd find it difficult to polish the turd that is NWT's news agenda. It's like one of those endurance tests... can you manage to sit through Ranvir Singh's earnest bleating, Gordon Burns sounding like he's about to expire, Dave Guest and team with graphic, gruesome details of yet another violent court case and Heather Stott smarming on about a fancy restaurant in Manchester? Then can you stomach yet another article about some nerk in Cheshire with a fancy car, because obviously people being rich is all that ever happens in Cheshire? It's like a repeat, they may as well just record a week's worth and go home, save us a bit of licence fee money. 

(Can you tell I really don't like NWT? Even Channel M with their week-old MEN stories and that bloke who used to be in the Children's BBC broomcupboard is less infuriating)


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## Dillinger4 (Mar 10, 2008)

Dave Guest.


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## soulman (Mar 25, 2008)

chio said:


> I think the lot of them are a bit lazy; Gordon's increasingly tired act is a symptom, but even if they got the world's greatest presentation team in they'd find it difficult to polish the turd that is NWT's news agenda. It's like one of those endurance tests... can you manage to sit through Ranvir Singh's earnest bleating, Gordon Burns sounding like he's about to expire, Dave Guest and team with graphic, gruesome details of yet another violent court case and Heather Stott smarming on about a fancy restaurant in Manchester? Then can you stomach yet another article about some nerk in Cheshire with a fancy car, because obviously people being rich is all that ever happens in Cheshire? It's like a repeat, they may as well just record a week's worth and go home, save us a bit of licence fee money.
> 
> (Can you tell I really don't like NWT? Even Channel M with their week-old MEN stories and that bloke who used to be in the Children's BBC broomcupboard is less infuriating)



I haven't been watching any TV news recently and I feel much better for it.

On a side note this is the thread this forum deserves...


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## editor (Mar 25, 2008)

This is the dullest page: http://www.urban75.com/Mag/breadcam.html


It's been boring people for about ten years too.


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## soulman (Mar 26, 2008)

Even the Welsh are posting  !!!


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## longdog (Mar 31, 2008)

This is up there in the dullest stakes

http://www.longdog.karoo.net/

The page title can't even be arsed to get past 'http'


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## soulman (Apr 5, 2008)

This forum is shit. Trying to link together the midlands and 'the north' was always a shit idea, but the views of those who live in the areas got ignored when the midlands was tagged on.


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## chio (Apr 5, 2008)

Living on the border between the Midlands and the North, I quite like it


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## soulman (Apr 6, 2008)

That doesn't surprise me


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## HarrisonSlade (Apr 7, 2008)

This thread has the fourth highest numbers of views on the forum page. In the top 3 we have a thread called "Leicester". 

I thought it would be quite a wheeze to go into the page to take a look at the competition. And I found that my rival post was quite intense when I read the first post - "Does anybody else live in Leicester?"


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## soulman (Jun 13, 2008)

It's the dullest forum by far. At the moment the top two threads are: house prices in birmingham, and some shite about wages there. The lack of response says it all really.


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## ajk (Jun 14, 2008)

We need an Isle of Man forum.  I'm not being cooped up in here with all the sostynaghs.


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## HarrisonSlade (Jun 19, 2008)

ajk said:


> We need an Isle of Man forum.  I'm not being cooped up in here with all the sostynaghs.


thank you for bringing to life this all important thread. And for showing us that more people come to this thread more than any other on this page (look at the listings if you don't believe me). Face it boys, the Norf is dull. Everything that happens up there is pointless. 

I really am very sorry, and I genuinely so not want to offend any one from there. Many of the greatest people in society come from oop there. But that's the point, they come from up there. they escape and settle in London. It's fact. 

I'm afraid that, apart from this thread, the editors "loaf of bread" is far more interesting than this page.


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## soulman (Jun 20, 2008)

HarrisonSlade said:


> thank you for bringing to life this all important thread. And for showing us that more people come to this thread more than any other on this page (look at the listings if you don't believe me). Face it boys, the Norf is dull. Everything that happens up there is pointless.
> 
> I really am very sorry, and I genuinely so not want to offend any one from there. Many of the greatest people in society come from oop there. But that's the point, they come from up there. they escape and settle in London. It's fact.
> 
> I'm afraid that, apart from this thread, the editors "loaf of bread" is far more interesting than this page.



hehehe

Look this was all done wrong. There should have been a North West forum, and a Midlands forum created. Both those areas have enough posters to carry it off...


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## HarrisonSlade (Jun 30, 2008)

I have noticed that on the left hand side of the screen there is a thumbs up bit.

Two threads on this page recieved this accolade. One has 364, the other has 96.

This one has have 1,651 views. Erm, how does that work? Is this not democracy?

Or are threads about turning into mancunions and going to railways (???????) more important than my absolutely poignant message that the web page mentioned at the start is just absolutely and positevly fucking tedious?


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