# complicit in sexist behaviour :(



## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

so there i am, sitting about minding my own business in a public-facing role, when someone comes up and asks my colleague a question. she doesn't immediately know the answer and yer man comes round to me. i do know the answer - directions to somewhere i used to work - so despite her saying she'd look it up on the internet, i tell him the answer.

this doesn't go down so well with my colleague who says i've been complicit in sexist behaviour and undermining her. which isn't so good.  but it seemed to me that knowing the answer it would be quicker simply to tell him.


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## cesare (Jul 3, 2014)

He went to her first, didn't he? Worth pointing out that's not sexist. Not his or your fault she didn't know and he opted for a quicker resolution to his query after his first port of call wasn't able to sort it out immediately.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> He went to her first, didn't he? Worth pointing out that's not sexist. Not his or your fault she didn't know and he opted for a quicker resolution to his query after his first port of call wasn't able to sort it out immediately.


it wasn't like i said "i know the answer", he popped round and asked me and the issue seems to be i didn't send him back when she asked.


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## twentythreedom (Jul 3, 2014)

Silly girl, tsk etc


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## cesare (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> it wasn't like i said "i know the answer", he popped round and asked me and the issue seems to be i didn't send him back when she asked.


Sending him back would have been ridiculous when you knew the answer.


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## DotCommunist (Jul 3, 2014)

time to get your mansplaining on and tell her why she is wrong imo


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

i said next time more than happy to send people back, it's not like i need the work anyway


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## cesare (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i said next time more than happy to send people back, it's not like i need the work anyway


As long as she owns the responsibility if there's customer complaints arising from being rerouted to women only.


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## Wilf (Jul 3, 2014)

Oi, check your 'Knowing Where Things Are' privileges.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> As long as she owns the responsibility if there's customer complaints arising from being rerouted to women only.


tbh the first thing which came into my mind was the famous story about germaine greer at cambridge, where she wanted to take out a reference book and the (female) library assistant wouldn't let her. it went through the 'do you know who i am' 'yes, dr greer i know who you are' to the 'can i speak to someone in authority' to which the library assistant said 'ah, you mean a man' - exit greer tail between legs.


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## Ax^ (Jul 3, 2014)

Did you pat her on the head and pinch her check whilst give your college directions?


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Ax^ said:


> Did you pat her on the head and pinch her check whilst give your colleague directions?


no. but i will do next time.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

anyway yer man came back and it seemed his permission letter was a couple of days out of date, so where i used to work turned him away - so i found another place with the same resource and sent him there.


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## Wilf (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> anyway yer man came back and it seemed his permission letter was a couple of days out of date, so where i used to work turned him away - so i found another place with the same resource and sent him there.


 San Jose or The Albert Hall?


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## Greebo (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> Sending him back would have been ridiculous when you knew the answer.


^This.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Wilf said:


> San Jose or The Albert Hall?


not far wrong with the albert hall, but somewhere else in south ken.


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## Citizen66 (Jul 3, 2014)

You should have told her the answer to tell him.


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## DaveCinzano (Jul 3, 2014)

Should've stepped up & stepped back


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## DaveCinzano (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> anyway yer man came back and it seemed his permission letter was a couple of days out of date, so where i used to work turned him away - so i found another place with the same resource and sent him there.


You just can't help yourself, can you?


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Citizen66 said:


> You should have told her the answer to tell him.


but i didn't know the question till he came to me.


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## Citizen66 (Jul 3, 2014)

Sexist


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## Wilf (Jul 3, 2014)

A-Zist.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model Did you start your answer with, "Well, to get to there you first needs to go around this cute fillie with the pert breasts right here..."

Cos that could be misconstrued as sexist by some.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Pickman's model Did you start your answer with, "Well, to get to there you first needs to go around this cute fillie with the pert breasts right here..."
> 
> Cos that could be misconstrued as sexist by some.


no, but it's a line i'll bear in mind in future


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## Wilf (Jul 3, 2014)

We've had a _monster_ in our midst.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Wilf said:


> We've had a _monster_ in our midst.


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## weltweit (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model could it be the case that you have some history with the offended person, or they with you? I can't otherwise imagine why any kind of scene would have arisen?


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

weltweit said:


> Pickman's model could it be the case that you have some history with the offended person, or they with you? I can't otherwise imagine why any kind of scene would have arisen?


some trivial disagreement about a year ago - but apart from that 

fortunately none of the wrong 'uns here work with me, that i know of anyway


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## Badgers (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> this doesn't go down so well with my colleague who says i've been complicit in sexist behaviour and undermining her. which isn't so good.  but it seemed to me that knowing the answer it would be quicker simply to tell him.



Almost tempting to make it formal eh? Those sort of accusations at work should really be taken seriously I suppose. Wonder how she would react if you went down that route? I would not make it formal (and very much doubt you will) but it is a bit unpleasant.


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## bubblesmcgrath (Jul 3, 2014)

I remember visiting someone in hospital. The bulb blew in their room. A caretaker left a new one in the room to be fitted. Every doc and nurse knew how to fit one. Even the patient in the bed was fit enough to put in the new light bulb. ...... and it sat in it's box for 4 hours before the person who was asked to do the job did it.

Your colleague was doing her job...not having a conversation.
And as she was getting the customer his answer she should have been the one to give him the answer. 

Suspect it wasn't life or death shit so a short delay wouldn't have killed him...... but then you knew the answer........


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## 8115 (Jul 3, 2014)

Maybe it was your (shared) tone of voice. I used to work in a nightclub a long time ago, pretty handy, used to open up, keep and eye on new starters sometimes this and that. I remember there was this one dj and he always used to ignore me or whatever. Anyway we were about exactly the same age and I just thought is was a bit off of him treating me that way because I used to work on the bar. One day he came in and there was this new guy on the bar and they totally started chatted away to each other with massive respect. And on that day I basically decided, you know what, fuck the entire male gender. You should see how bitter I am today.

What have you done Pickman's Model?


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## EastEnder (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> this doesn't go down so well with my colleague who says i've been complicit in sexist behaviour and undermining her.


Bone her.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

8115 said:


> What have you done Pitman's Model?


do you want the shorthand version?


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## 8115 (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> do you want the shorthand version?


Nah, send me the full autobiography when it's complete.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

8115 said:


> Nah, send me the full autobiography when it's complete.




you said: pitman's model
i said: shorthand

i thought i'd at least get a lol for that


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## 8115 (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> you said: pitman's model
> i said: shorthand
> 
> i thought i'd at least get a lol for that


I didn't get the joke you sexist.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

8115 said:


> I didn't get the joke you sexist.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

8115 said:


> I didn't get the joke you sexist.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitman_shorthand


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 3, 2014)

Tell you what Pickers, put the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way when she bends down to take one out you get a good look at her arse


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## twentythreedom (Jul 3, 2014)

doledosser2 said:


> edited just to add to the contempt.


Yes, I'll throw in a bit of contempt too, in case anyone wants a bit.


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## el-ahrairah (Jul 3, 2014)

just say "oh, sorry, won't happen again" and move on.


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## Johnny Vodka (Jul 3, 2014)

Tell her women can't touch elbows behind their back.


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## equationgirl (Jul 3, 2014)

In my opinion you weren't sexist or complicit in any sexist behaviour Pickman's model.

Is there any reason to make lewd suggestions though Bahnhof Strasse Johnny Vodka even if they are jokes? What's funny about women being treated in a sexist manner?


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

el-ahrairah said:


> just say "oh, sorry, won't happen again" and move on.


yeh that's what i did


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## cesare (Jul 3, 2014)

I want a pic of Johnny Vodka touching his elbows behind his back, tbf.


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## equationgirl (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> I want a pic of Johnny Vodka touching his elbows behind his back, tbf.


Whatever floats your boat...


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## cesare (Jul 3, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> Whatever floats your boat...


Nothing to do with floating my boat and all to do with seeing Johnny do something he says women can't do. I bet he can't either.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> I want a pic of Johnny Vodka touching his elbows behind his back, tbf.


i don't want a pic of yer man at all. 

wisdom sets bounds even to knowledge - there are some things i do not wish to know
--f.w. nietzsche


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## cesare (Jul 3, 2014)

We should have a poll about who (if anyone) can do it


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## 8115 (Jul 3, 2014)

I can't!


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## Johnny Vodka (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> Nothing to do with floating my boat and all to do with seeing Johnny do something he says women can't do. I bet he can't either.



I don't think anyone can do it.  The point is 'the victim' then tries and pushes their chest out.  You just want to see my moobs, don't you?


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> We should have a poll about who (if anyone) can do it


touching your elbows behind your back? put your arms behind your back and reach each hand to touch the other arm's elbow. simples.


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## weepiper (Jul 3, 2014)

Hur hur. Women have tits. Hur.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

weltweit said:


> Pickman's model could it be the case that you have some history with the offended person, or they with you? I can't otherwise imagine why any kind of scene would have arisen?



I agree with this - she has some beef with you and is using this incident as an excuse....you may have patronised her in the past, and not noticed this before. Or maybe she finds you a bit creepy?


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> I agree with this - she has some beef with you and is using this incident as an excuse....you may not have noticed the beef before. Or maybe she finds you a bit creepy?


or maybe you've an agenda to push


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## equationgirl (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> I agree with this - she has some beef with you and is using this incident as an excuse....you may have patronised her in the past, and not noticed this before. Or maybe she finds you a bit creepy?


Bit uncalled for Cheesey, the creepy comment.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 3, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> In my opinion you weren't sexist or complicit in any sexist behaviour Pickman's model.
> 
> Is there any reason to make lewd suggestions though Bahnhof Strasse Johnny Vodka even if they are jokes? What's funny about women being treated in a sexist manner?



Who is saying anything is funny about women being treated in a sexist manner?


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## 8115 (Jul 3, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Who is saying anything is funny about women being treated in a sexist manner?


You've got to laugh sometimes, otherwise you'd cry.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 3, 2014)

8115 said:


> You've got to laugh sometimes, otherwise you'd cry.



Dunno, had days when I've neither laughed nor cried.


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## equationgirl (Jul 3, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Who is saying anything is funny about women being treated in a sexist manner?


So your comment about the forms in the bottom drawer was serious then?


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 3, 2014)

Yes.

100%

And the intention of it was to demean women.

In no way would it make a right thinking person think that sexist men are beyond the pale.

All about attacking women.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> Bit uncalled for Cheesey, the creepy comment.



sorry, i met him in real life once and he is a bit creepy....well to me anyway.

you always assume that the Urbanite involved in a mishap is in the right anyway ms equation...and you may be wrong about that...my guess here is what weltweit said - the lady in this scene has a problem with Pickman's attitude/ behaviour over something else, thats why she has blown this thing up.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> you always assume that the Urbanite involved in a mishap is in the right anyway ms equation...and you may be wrong about that...my guess here is what weitweit said - the lady in this scene has a problem with Pickman's attitude/ behaviour over something else, thats why she has blown this thing up


thank you for your guess.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> thank you for your guess.



no probs.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> no probs.


but if i were to turn to two people on urban for advice about things it's unlikely they'd be you and weltweit. perhaps cesare and badgers.


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## cesare (Jul 3, 2014)

Johnny Vodka said:


> I don't think anyone can do it.  The point is 'the victim' then tries and pushes their chest out.  You just want to see my moobs, don't you?


Fuck's sake.

Cheesypoof ^^^This is creepy. Your creepometer is fucked.


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## weltweit (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> but if i were to turn to two people on urban for advice about things it's unlikely they'd be you and weltweit. perhaps cesare and badgers.


Oi, I thought I made a perfectly rational contribution!


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

weltweit said:


> Oi, I thought I made a perfectly rational contribution!


it was rational.


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## toggle (Jul 3, 2014)

8115 said:


> You've got to laugh sometimes, otherwise you'd cry.



oh, was that ironic sexism then rather than actual sexism? 

that really needs to be labelled better, because i'm too humourless to see the difference


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

toggle said:


> oh, was that ironic sexism then rather than actual sexism?
> 
> that really needs to be labelled better, because i'm too humourless to see the difference


(((toggle)))


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

weltweit said:


> Oi, I thought I made a perfectly rational contribution!



You did! I would say you are bang on the money.


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## toggle (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> (((toggle)))



I know, 

and apparently i'm not a proper feminist enough to recognise what you did as sexist. I'm failing all over the place today.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

toggle said:


> I know,
> 
> and apparently i'm not a proper feminist enough to recognise what you did as sexist. I'm failing all over the place today.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> You did! I would say you are bang on the money.


if he's bang on the money then there's every reason to suggest your creepy bit was bang off the money.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> if he's bang on the money then there's every reason to suggest your creepy bit was bang off the money.



that dont compute...


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## Johnny Vodka (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> Fuck's sake.
> 
> Cheesypoof ^^^This is creepy. Your creepometer is fucked.



(1) It was a sort of ironic joke.  Pokes fun at sexism because no-one sensible would try it.
(2) Even if they did, no-one would fall for it.

Quite a few peeps on here with a sense of humour bypass.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

The lady has some beef with you i reckon. You have vexxed her about something...it may not be a blazing row that you had with her in the past, but it could be, a personality clash, an attitood problem, or a _veneer _you give off, that creeps or should i say freaks her out? Of course, you wont be able to see it yourself.....I would take a raincheck on this Pickman, cos it sounds like you got the fuzzy end of the lollipop. Move on.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> that dont compute...


perhaps you could point me to where weltweit said, suggested or inferred that any innate quality i have caused this little to-do. i'll save you the time - he didn't say, suggest or infer it. that being the case, if weltweit's right then it's to do with something which has happened in the past and not something in me.

fyi i generally have a very good working relationship with my colleagues who are, i might add, mostly women (and in one of my others jobs i'm the only man there). i don't think that i'd have good working relationships with so many different women if there was something of the night about me. after working 9 years one place and 5 in the other i think even i might have noticed a coolness towards me by now.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> The lady has some beef with you i reckon. You have vexxed her about something...it may not be a blazing row that you had with her in the past, but it could be, a personality clash, an attitood problem, or a _veneer _you give off, that creeps or should i say freaks her out? Of course, you wont be able to see it yourself.....I would take a raincheck on this Pickman, cos it sounds like you got the fuzzy end of the lollipop. Move on.


yes. you've said this before. and it doesn't improve with repetition. take your own advice and move on.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> perhaps you could point me to where weltweit said, suggested or inferred that any innate quality i have caused this little to-do. i'll save you the time - he didn't say, suggest or infer it. that being the case, if weltweit's right then it's to do with something which has happened in the past and not something in me..



the poster said that you may have some history with the offended person, otherwise the scene wouldnt have arisen. I agree with that. What that 'history' is, could be anything. I suggested that it could be a number of things, which it could be.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> the poster said that you may have some history with the offended person, otherwise the scene wouldnt have arisen.


yes, i read his post





> I agree with that.


i know, i read your posts on the subject





> What that 'history' is, could be anything. I suggested that it could be a number of things, which it could be.


yes.  perhaps we can move on instead of getting caught further in a bbc-esque round of repeats.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

No probs. Did she herself use the words 'complicit in sexist behaviour' and 'undermining' her?   Sounds harsh for what sounds like an innocent deed.
Thats why i reckon shes vexed about something else cos it seems an overblown reaction.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> No probs. Did she herself use the words 'complicit in sexist behaviour' and 'undermining' her?   Sounds harsh for what sounds like an innocent deed.
> Thats why i reckon shes vexed about something else cos it seems an overblown reaction.


i constructed the complicit in sexist behaviour from what she said but she did use the word undermining.

but yeh i was rather taken aback by a reaction which did not seem proportionate to the offence.


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## toggle (Jul 3, 2014)

Johnny Vodka said:


> (1) It was a sort of ironic joke.  Pokes fun at sexism because no-one sensible would try it.
> (2) Even if they did, no-one would fall for it.
> 
> Quite a few peeps on here with a sense of humour bypass.




and here we go again, it is everybody else that is wrong, not you.

here's a little hint, your sexist shit isn't funny. you're not fucking funny.


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i constructed the complicit in sexist behaviour from what she said but she did use the word undermining.
> 
> but yeh i was rather taken aback by a reaction which did not seem proportionate to the offence.



it sounds harsh. is she a hotheaded type who goes off on one for no reason? Look at the situation with context, cos if she got stroppy, maybe its _you_ that should be making the complaint...


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## Pickman's model (Jul 3, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> it sounds harsh. is she a hotheaded type who goes off on one for no reason? Look at the situation with context, cos if she got stroppy, maybe its _you_ that should be making the complaint...


i'll start keeping a diary


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## Cheesypoof (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i'll start keeping a diary



Well, for any incidents like that, its worth it. I had a really awful boss once who bullied one of the guys in the office, in a sly way - the chap in question didnt drink (he was allergic to alcohol) and the boss used to call him 'Darling' and 'Sweetheart' in this cruel, patronising way - it wasnt done in a jokey manner. The chap was quite upset, but couldnt shout back cos the guy was the boss....bad scene. He should have kept a diary of offensive remarks and reported it - no one in an office should get away with going off on one.


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## Johnny Vodka (Jul 3, 2014)

toggle said:


> and here we go again, it is everybody else that is wrong, not you.
> 
> here's a little hint, your sexist shit isn't funny. you're not fucking funny.



Plenty of people IRL find me funny, and that includes women.  Tone can be lost online, even with smileys available.  And, no offence, but I don't really care if you find me funny or not.  I usually go back to the tone of the first post in a thread - if it's not deadly serious, then there's room for humour in the thread.  Not sure why it's so essential for some on here to jump on every post or poster they take even a slight dislike to.


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## bubblesmcgrath (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i constructed the complicit in sexist behaviour from what she said but she did use the word undermining.
> 
> but yeh i was rather taken aback by a reaction which did not seem proportionate to the offence.



Undermining is different to sexism...
Yep  you undermined her.
Nope it was not sexist.
But you do know this.
Don't you?


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## 8115 (Jul 3, 2014)

toggle said:


> oh, was that ironic sexism then rather than actual sexism?
> 
> that really needs to be labelled better, because i'm too humourless to see the difference


Wait? Who was sexist? JV? He never fails to produce out loud laughter where I'm concerned. I do wrestle with if that makes me a bad feminist though.


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## 8115 (Jul 3, 2014)

Sorry, don't mean to be personal.


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## tim (Jul 3, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Dunno, had days when I've neither laughed nor cried.



Ah , bottling up your emotions in the way you clearly think a real man ought to.


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## Spymaster (Jul 3, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i constructed the complicit in sexist behaviour from what she said but she did use the word undermining.
> 
> but yeh i was rather taken aback by a reaction which did not seem proportionate to the offence.



It wasn't sexist and you didn't undermine her.

If someone asked someone else for directions and you overheard and knew the way, it'd be fucking weird if you _didn't_ volunteer the information whilst she pissed about on the computer.

Ignore.


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## toggle (Jul 3, 2014)

Johnny Vodka said:


> Plenty of people IRL find me funny, and that includes women.  Tone can be lost online, even with smileys available.  And, no offence, but I don't really care if you find me funny or not.  I usually go back to the tone of the first post in a thread - if it's not deadly serious, then there's room for humour in the thread.  Not sure why it's so essential for some on here to jump on every post or poster they take even a slight dislike to.



'women find my sexism funny', is that the new 'i have black friends?'


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## el-ahrairah (Jul 3, 2014)

cesare said:


> I want a pic of Johnny Vodka touching his elbows behind his back, tbf.









he's trying....


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## Pingu (Jul 3, 2014)

tell her to get a grip and go make you a cup of tea


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## Greebo (Jul 3, 2014)

el-ahrairah said:


> <snip> he's trying....


Very.


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## equationgirl (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> sorry, i met him in real life once and he is a bit creepy....well to me anyway.
> 
> you always assume that the Urbanite involved in a mishap is in the right anyway ms equation...and you may be wrong about that...my guess here is what weltweit said - the lady in this scene has a problem with Pickman's attitude/ behaviour over something else, thats why she has blown this thing up.


You assume that about me. The fact is neither you nor me were there.


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## equationgirl (Jul 4, 2014)

Johnny Vodka said:


> (1) It was a sort of ironic joke.  Pokes fun at sexism because no-one sensible would try it.
> (2) Even if they did, no-one would fall for it.
> 
> Quite a few peeps on here with a sense of humour bypass.


Oh fuck off. There's nothing wrong with my sense of humour.

But it's funny how often the 'it's only a joke' line is trotted out when anybody objects.


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## xenon (Jul 4, 2014)

Your colleague is a fuck wit.


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## Wilf (Jul 4, 2014)

We need to bring Pickmans before a panel of randomly selected posters. His brief can only object to 4 enemies jurors and no one can take his penalty points.


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## goldenecitrone (Jul 4, 2014)

Just as well the customer didn't want to know the way to Oldham.


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## Greebo (Jul 4, 2014)

Wilf said:


> We need to bring Pickmans before a panel of randomly selected posters. His brief can only object to 4 enemies jurors and no one can take his penalty points.


If several usually vocal feminists on urban say that Pickman's model wasn't complicit in sexist behaviour, he probably wasn't.


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## flypanam (Jul 4, 2014)

Did the incident happen in a library setting?

Something similar happened to me in Dublin, a colleague of mine was asked a question concerning some article or other that a student wanted. My colleague, spent about ten minutes looking for it. I  was sitting on the reference desk found the article and printed it out. When I gave the article to my colleague I got a thank you from her and she passed it off to the student.

In the next hour on of the AL said that I had upset her, so I went and went to ask her why she was upset.

She said that by my 'helping' I had prevented her from developing her abilities and skills in relation to finding online information.

I had to agree she had a point and I apologised.

Maybe she's feeling the same way?


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## Wilf (Jul 4, 2014)

Greebo said:


> If several usually vocal feminists on urban say that Pickman's model wasn't complicit in sexist behaviour, he probably wasn't.


I agree - but there must be due process!


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## equationgirl (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's couldn't have stopped the library user from becoming impatient and coming over to him. If he'd stepped in and helped the user because he thought his colleague was being too slow, then that would have been wrong and he should have apologised if he did that. But he didn't.


----------



## Pingu (Jul 4, 2014)

does Pickmans get bonus points if he used the terms "don't fret" or "my dear"?


----------



## Johnny Vodka (Jul 4, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> Oh fuck off. There's nothing wrong with my sense of humour.
> 
> But it's funny how often the 'it's only a joke' line is trotted out when anybody objects.



What makes you think I was referring to you?

It was _obviously _a joke, and I'm not that bothered about the opinion of peeps who take it upon themselves to walk around here with their prefect badge on tbh.


----------



## Citizen66 (Jul 4, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> Pickman's couldn't have stopped the library user from becoming impatient and coming over to him. If he'd stepped in and helped the user because he thought his colleague was being too slow, then that would have been wrong and he should have apologised if he did that. But he didn't.



But even if he had done the latter, it still only *might* have been motivated by sexism.


----------



## Buckaroo (Jul 4, 2014)




----------



## Spymaster (Jul 4, 2014)

flypanam said:


> She said that by my 'helping' I had prevented her from developing her abilities and skills in relation to finding online information.
> 
> I had to agree she had a point and I apologised.



She didn't, and you shouldn't have.

This is a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't. Unless there was an agreement in place not to get involved, you did the right thing. For all you knew she could have been struggling and too embarrassed to ask for help. You could have asked "may I help?" but in front of the student _that_ could be undermining. The alternative was to leave her to her own devices and possibly have her think you a twat for not assisting.

Either way it's not sexist.

I used to be a nightmare for this sort of thing. If I heard someone fucking up on the phone with a client I'd wave my arms around, mouth the questions they should be asking, or shove notes in front of them with CAPITAL LETTERS, arrows and exclamation marks!!!

I'm longer in the tooth and more chilled out now, plus I realised how fucking annoying it is when my partner did it to me.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

flypanam said:


> Did the incident happen in a library setting?
> 
> Something similar happened to me in Dublin, a colleague of mine was asked a question concerning some article or other that a student wanted. My colleague, spent about ten minutes looking for it. I  was sitting on the reference desk found the article and printed it out. When I gave the article to my colleague I got a thank you from her and she passed it off to the student.
> 
> ...


i'd hope not because it wasn't like it was a tricky question when it came my way: it was effectively directions to a nearby place - not entirely difficult.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

goldenecitrone said:


> Just as well the customer didn't want to know the way to Oldham.


up past watford then you're on your own mate.


----------



## Cheesypoof (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i'd hope not because it wasn't like it was a tricky question when it came my way: it was effectively directions to a nearby place - not entirely difficult.



 how was she today, or since the incident?


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i'd hope not because it wasn't like it was a tricky question when it came my way: it was effectively directions to a nearby place - not entirely difficult.



so, why does that matter? can you not see what flypanam was saying, that your co-worker might have felt like this even though it was not _exactly_ the same situation?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> how was she today, or since the incident?


she seemed otherwise ok and with no visible lacerations. not seen any of my colleagues today tho so i cannot say with certainty that she remains healthy. i'll let you know on monday.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> so, why does that matter? can you not see what flypanam was saying, that your co-worker might have felt like this even though it was not _exactly_ the same situation?


she was voluble on what she was unhappy about and i think she'd have mentioned if she felt it had hindered her professional development etc.


----------



## Cheesypoof (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> she was voluble on what she was unhappy about and i think she'd have mentioned if she felt it had hindered her professional development etc.



voluble? you talk funny !! sorry, you mean at the time? i would say shoot the breeze man, today is a new day. Hopefully she's chill herself and forgotten about it. Thats the nature of the working world - peeps get well rattled with their colleagues, give them a nights kip and tomorrow is hunky dory


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> she was voluble on what she was unhappy about and i think she'd have mentioned if she felt it had hindered her professional development etc.



ok, have it your way. You seem pretty set on believing that she had no reason to feel like she did.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> ok, have it your way. You seem pretty set on believing that she had no reason to feel like she did.


i certainly don't think she felt i'd hindered her quest for online knowledge. as for being pretty set on believing she had no reason to feel like she did, she obviously had a reason - i don't think she was acting.


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i certainly don't think she felt i'd hindered her quest for online knowledge. as for being pretty set on believing she had no reason to feel like she did, she obviously had a reason - i don't think she was acting.



because you stepped in and did her task for her, making her feel a bit incompetent. doesn't matter whether it was particularly hard or not.


----------



## Buckaroo (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> she was voluble on what she was unhappy about and i think she'd have mentioned if she felt it had hindered her professional development etc.



What did she say she was unhappy about IYDMMA?


----------



## Yossarian (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> this doesn't go down so well with my colleague who says i've been complicit in sexist behaviour and undermining her. which isn't so good.  but it seemed to me that knowing the answer it would be quicker simply to tell him.



You're not complicit in sexism but you did cause your colleague to lose face. IME, if you're in a public-facing role and a colleague is dealing with somebody, you should let them deal with the person and not allow them to move onto you unless you're their boss or you think they are totally incapable of dealing with it, otherwise you will just annoy your colleague and make them feel small for no good reason.

When you can provide an answer or whatever a lot faster than your colleague, this may not seem like the most efficient way of doing things, but not pissing people off is part of working in a team and when nobody's pissed off, things end up being more efficient in the long run. That's my experience anyway - in one of my first jobs, I was the only white person and native English-speaker on my shift at the airport and it took me a little while to work out why all the supervisors seemed to hate me.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> because you stepped in and did her task for her, making her feel a bit incompetent. doesn't matter whether it was particularly hard or not.


i don't know if you've read the thread or not, you don't seem to have anyway. i did not 'step in', the user came to me.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Yossarian said:


> You're not complicit in sexism but you did cause your colleague to lose face. IME, if you're in a public-facing role and a colleague is dealing with somebody, you should let them deal with the person and not allow them to move onto you unless you're their boss or you think they are totally incapable of dealing with it, otherwise you will just annoy your colleague and make them feel small for no good reason.
> 
> When you can provide an answer or whatever a lot faster than your colleague, this may not seem like the most efficient way of doing things, but not pissing people off is part of working in a team and when nobody's pissed off, things end up being more efficient in the long run. That's my experience anyway - in one of my first jobs, I was the only white person and native English-speaker on my shift at the airport and it took me a little while to work out why all the supervisors seemed to hate me.


as i've already said in the op, i was minding my own business surfing the internet. i did not step in, i did not suggest they come to me, i wasn't putting myself forwards in any way. perhaps i shouldn't have done what i did, and i did afterwards apologise.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Buckaroo said:


> What did she say she was unhappy about IYDMMA?


iydmma?

e2a: oh, i see. undermining her, the man was obviously a sexist pig and i was complicit in his sexism and i should have sent him back to her.


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i don't know if you've read the thread or not, you don't seem to have anyway. i did not 'step in', the user came to me.



oh god. whatever. point is you made her feel similarly to what flypanam described. if you're this stubborn about not understanding the basic feelings involved here I don't even understand why you post this thread, unless it was to say "listen to what this silly person did, isn't that ridiculous?"


----------



## Buckaroo (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> iydmma?



If you don't mind me asking! I just made it up!


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> oh god. whatever. point is you made her feel similarly to what flypanam described. if you're this stubborn about not understanding the basic feelings involved here I don't even understand why you post this thread, unless it was to say "listen to what this silly person did, isn't that ridiculous?"


do i have to post up every single reaction to every single post on this thread, just to satisfy you? of course you don't understand why i posted this thread, and to prove it you suggest there's only one utterly bollocks reason for my posting it. nowhere on this thread have i said that i thought my colleague was anything other than professional, and i don't appreciate having words put into my mouth.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Buckaroo said:


> If you don't mind me asking! I just made it up!


yeh i got there in the end


----------



## Yossarian (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> as i've already said in the op, i was minding my own business surfing the internet. i did not step in, i did not suggest they come to me, i wasn't putting myself forwards in any way. perhaps i shouldn't have done what i did, and i did afterwards apologise.



I don't think you did anything wrong, but I can kind of see why your colleague was a little more annoyed than might immediately seem reasonable - but by apologizing and questioning your own behavior afterward, you're obviously more conscientious about workplace relations than a lot of people.


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> do i have to post up every single reaction to every single post on this thread, just to satisfy you? of course you don't understand why i posted this thread, and to prove it you suggest there's only one utterly bollocks reason for my posting it. nowhere on this thread have i said that i thought my colleague was anything other than professional, and i don't appreciate having words put into my mouth.



so what is your point then? 

anyway, as others have said I don't think you did anything wrong intentionally, but I do see why she would have been a bit miffed. It has made me realize I will think twice if I find myself in a similar situation in the future.


----------



## Spymaster (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> oh god. whatever. point is you made her feel similarly to what flypanam described. if you're this stubborn about not understanding the basic feelings involved here I don't even understand why you post this thread, unless it was to say "listen to what this silly person did, isn't that ridiculous?"



Nope. He gave someone directions, ffs. Absolutely what the vast majority of balanced and helpful individuals would and should have done. And the substantive issue here is that she felt that he was complicit in some sort of sexism. WTF?

Pickers is all sorts of annoying, but he's no fucking sexist, and I reckon his more reasonable colleagues will be well aware of this.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> so what is your point then?
> 
> anyway, as others have said I don't think you did anything wrong intentionally, but I do see why she would have been a bit miffed. It has made me realize I will think twice if I find myself in a similar situation in the future.


what is my point? i wondered what people here thought about it, that's all. it's what we do here, post things up to see what people make of them.


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Spymaster said:


> Nope. He gave someone directions, ffs. Absolutely what the vast majority of balanced and helpful individuals would and should have done. And the substantive issue here is that he was complicit in some sort of sexism. WTF?
> 
> Pickers is all sorts of annoying, but he's no fucking sexist, and I reckon his more reasonable colleagues will be well aware of this.



never said he was guilty of sexism, just that he's failing to understand why she felt that way. and tbf a lot of sexism, racism, ableism, etc, is in subtle, everyday things like this. we're all guilty of it. I don't see what the big deal is with just saying "Ok, next time I'll try to be more aware of how this might make someone feel" and moving on ffs.


----------



## Spymaster (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> never said he was guilty of sexism, just that he's failing to understand why she felt that way.



So am I. And nothing that's been posted here has changed that.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> never said he was guilty of sexism, just that he's failing to understand why she felt that way. and tbf a lot of sexism, racism, ableism, etc, is in subtle, everyday things like this. we're all guilty of it. I don't see what the big deal is with just saying "Ok, next time I'll try to be more aware of how this might make someone feel" and moving on ffs.


so the fact that's what i did do - as i've alluded several times in this thread - has utterly passed you by. perhaps you should think about your actions and the way you misread people so badly here even when it's on the bloody screen for you to read at your leisure.


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## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> so the fact that's what i did do - as i've alluded several times in this thread - has utterly passed you by. perhaps you should think about your actions and the way you misread people so badly here even when it's on the bloody screen for you to read at your leisure.



I will sit down and have a long think about that...in the corner. 

what I was actually posting about is your response to flypanam's post. which I obviously did read. I have not memorized all of your other posts on the thread. I have read a good deal of them though.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> I will sit down and have a long think about that...in the corner.
> 
> what I was actually posting about is your response to flypanam's post. which I obviously did read. I have not memorized all of your other posts on the thread. I have read a good deal of them though.


no, what you were posting about was my alleged lack of comprehension in why my colleague felt as she did. see your post 136. see also your post 128, where you put words into my  mouth. you're very willing to show how well you understand what other people think but you're not so willing to take it when you're shown to be wrong. maybe i didn't respond to flypanam's post as you would have liked. but i well took on board what my colleague said to me yesterday, that she felt undermined by my not sending the user back to here.


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## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> no, what you were posting about was my alleged lack of comprehension in why my colleague felt as she did. see your post 136. see also your post 128, where you put words into my  mouth. you're very willing to show how well you understand what other people think but you're not so willing to take it when you're shown to be wrong. maybe i didn't respond to flypanam's post as you would have liked. but i well took on board what my colleague said to me yesterday, that she felt undermined by my not sending the user back to here.





that's fine, I understand now. I don't get why you felt the need to argue with what flypanam said, in that case. That was, in fact, why I thought you were not comprehending. I wasn't just being a big meanie, I just didn't see why you needed to discount someone else's experience (unless you were set on defending yourself). It's not really that dissimilar to what happened w/ you and your colleague.


----------



## Cheesypoof (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> so the fact that's what i did do - as i've alluded several times in this thread - has utterly passed you by. perhaps you should think about your actions and the way you misread people so badly here even when it's on the bloody screen for you to read at your leisure.



Ms Caphat doesnt read situations badly. she is pretty insightful. I dont think she was meaning to be rude or anything, just pointing out that its good to try to see things from another persons perspective (especially a womans...)


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> that's fine, I understand now. I don't get why you felt the need to argue with what flypanam said, in that case. That was, in fact, why I thought you were not comprehending. I wasn't just being a big meanie, I just didn't see why you needed to discount someone else's experience. It's not really that dissimilar to what happened w/ you and your colleague.


flypanam's post concerned two people looking for a journal article. flypanam, sitting on the reference desk, was more familiar with the e-resources offered by the library than his issue desk colleague. in that instance i feel that yes, there was something which she could have learned from finding it herself so next time she knew the procedure. i do not consider that incident to be the same thing as the one i posted this thread about, although i do appreciate that my colleague was unhappy for what i did.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> Ms Caphat doesnt read situations badly. she is pretty insightful. I dont think she was meaning to be rude or anything, just pointing out that its good to try to see things from another persons perspective (especially a womans...)


on this thread i have not seen things presented from a woman's perspective but from the pov of several women. some of those points of view seem to me founded on sandier ground than others, in particular where the pov ignores things i have posted above.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

anyway i'm off to make my dinner (veg spag bol)


----------



## Cheesypoof (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> on this thread i have not seen things presented from a woman's perspective but from the pov of several women. some of those points of view seem to me founded on sandier ground than others, in particular where the pov ignores things i have posted above.



i think most women would think that there are other issues why this lady freaked as she did. Women have good intuition and we sense situations as well as experience them.  I have no doubt that she was in the wrong about the initial incident. But as i said, she is vexed with you, theres some other reason. i wouldnt worry too much about it though, just be nice to her and chillaxe...


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## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> Ms Caphat doesnt read situations badly. she is pretty insightful. I dont think she was meaning to be rude or anything, just pointing out that its good to try to see things from another persons perspective (especially a womans...)



thanks, cheesy. and I do have to say I've found this thread a little confusing and I'm not really convinced it's my lack of comprehension.


----------



## Spymaster (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> i think most women would think that there are other issues why this lady freaked as she did.



Some people are just odd.

A couple of weeks ago we had a situation and I told the AD that his solution was the worst idea that anyone's had "since Zed decided to bum Marsellus Wallace". Cue; diversionary accusations of homophobia. 

Sometimes it's best to ignore morons and move on.


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> flypanam's post concerned two people looking for a journal article. flypanam, sitting on the reference desk, was more familiar with the e-resources offered by the library than his issue desk colleague. in that instance i feel that yes, there was something which she could have learned from finding it herself so next time she knew the procedure. i do not consider that incident to be the same thing as the one i posted this thread about, although i do appreciate that my colleague was unhappy for what i did.



but surely the sexism part has little to do with whether or not she missed an opportunity to learn something, and is more about how the situation made her appear to others (as being less capable of finding the info than you, when it was actually her job). maybe your colleague didn't say that specifically, but I feel that must be a major part of it.


----------



## Miss Caphat (Jul 4, 2014)

anyway, I have to go too


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## friedaweed (Jul 4, 2014)

Has your team knocked her out of the Library WC sweep Picky?


----------



## Buckaroo (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> i think most women would think that there are* other issues* why this lady *freaked *as she did. Women have good intuition and we sense situations as well as experience them.  I have no doubt that she was in the wrong about the initial incident. But as i said, she is vexed with you, theres some *other reason*. i wouldnt worry too much about it though, just be *nice *to her and* chillaxe*...



You creepy bastard. That's the creepiest thing I've seen here. 'Just be *nice *to her and *chillaxe*...' Fuck off you creepy fuck. Urrgh.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> i think most women would think that there are other issues why this lady freaked as she did. Women have good intuition and we sense situations as well as experience them.  I have no doubt that she was in the wrong about the initial incident. But as i said, she is vexed with you, theres some other reason. i wouldnt worry too much about it though, just be nice to her and chillaxe...


the way you put it (freaked) my colleague's reaction was irrational, whereas the opinion of many other posters has been that her reaction was rational. i don't even think she was in the wrong over the original incident, which i take to mean her inability to answer the user's question. you can't blame someone for not knowing the layout of a neighbouring institution! while her reaction made me uncomfortable, perhaps that's no bad thing as there's no way i will forget what happened. i am uncertain how to take this post as you seem to believe women have good intuition yet yours lets you down badly when you suggest my colleague acted irrationally.

e2a: i don't think that acting nicely will cut the mustard, perhaps making sure to appreciate my colleagues more and to take more account of their feelings would be a better way forwards.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

friedaweed said:


> Has your team knocked her out of the Library WC sweep Picky?


i got japan.


----------



## friedaweed (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i got japan.


Me too


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

friedaweed said:


> Me too


i feel your pain


----------



## Yossarian (Jul 4, 2014)

Spymaster said:


> A couple of weeks ago we had a situation and I told the AD that his solution was the worst idea that anyone's had "since Zed decided to bum Marsellus Wallace". Cue; diversionary accusations of homophobia.



TBF, you can't expect to use rape scenes from 20-year-old movies to describe workplace situations and have everybody immediately understand exactly what you mean.


----------



## friedaweed (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> i feel your pain


I got Holland in another at work but I'd feel a cunt picking up my winnings if that Robben bastard lifts the Jules


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

friedaweed said:


> I got Holland in another at work but I'd feel a cunt picking up my winnings if that Robben bastard lifts the Jules


you'll still do it tho


----------



## friedaweed (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> you'll still do it tho


Money is money. My principals are cheap. £25 actually


----------



## TodayIsCaturday (Jul 4, 2014)

How does she know you are a man?


----------



## Buckaroo (Jul 4, 2014)

TodayIsCaturday said:


> How does she know you are a man?



Who? Intuition?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

TodayIsCaturday said:


> How does she know you are a man?


are we supposed to be using our masculine intuition to work out who that's to?


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 4, 2014)

Johnny Vodka said:


> What makes you think I was referring to you?
> 
> It was _obviously _a joke, and I'm not that bothered about the opinion of peeps who take it upon themselves to walk around here with their prefect badge on tbh.


Oh fuck off with your sly digs Johnny.


----------



## Buckaroo (Jul 4, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> are we supposed to be using our masculine intuition to work out who that's to?



Think it may be the tag line for an aftershave ad.

"How does she know you are a man?"


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 4, 2014)

Buckaroo said:


> Think it may be the tag line for an aftershave ad.


how does she know you're a man? you won't ask the question if you use eau de buckaroo


----------



## Spymaster (Jul 4, 2014)

Miss Caphat said:


> I will sit down and have a long think about that...*in the corner.*



(My emph)








Ooooooh, you little minx!


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 4, 2014)

Cheesypoof said:


> i think most women would think that there are other issues why this lady freaked as she did. Women have good intuition and we sense situations as well as experience them.  I have no doubt that she was in the wrong about the initial incident. But as i said, she is vexed with you, theres some other reason. i wouldnt worry too much about it though, just be nice to her and chillaxe...


Freaked? It's not like she ran away screaming from the issue desk. Also, _you_ may sense situations as well as experience them, but I don't think you can speak for all women and claim they do the same.

I think your view of Pickman's as creepy is colouring how you see this incident more than you think.


----------



## Spymaster (Jul 4, 2014)

It's like Russia and China facing-off whilst worried about Syria:

'I trump your vacuousness with my nebulosity'

HA!

TAKE THAT, SYSTEM !


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jul 4, 2014)

In my experience if someone feels something strongly enough to say it to your face then it's pretty clear they're upset. Picky just needs to suck it up and tell her he didn't mean to make her feel undermined and that he was trying to be helpful. Then just drop it and get on with whatever....

To be honest it's all a bit meh...
I mean if she turned on him and slapped his face or hit him with her handbag then it'd be a rivetting story and entertaining and amusing to boot .....

But as it is, it's a "nothing to see here...move along please" type thing.......and no amount of analysis regarding the potential for "sexism" is going to make it any more interesting ... imo.


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 5, 2014)

bubblesmcgrath said:


> In my experience if someone feels something strongly enough to say it to your face then it's pretty clear they're upset. Picky just needs to suck it up and tell her he didn't mean to make her feel undermined and that he was trying to be helpful. Then just drop it and get on with whatever....
> 
> To be honest it's all a bit meh...
> I mean if she turned on him and slapped his face or hit him with her handbag then it'd be a rivetting story and entertaining and amusing to boot .....
> ...


Real life work incidents are rarely as interesting as an international spy ring or soap opera, but it weighed on Pickman's sufficiently for him to bounce it off people here. That's the whole damn point of the employment forum - to discuss work related issues of all kinds. There's no criteria that says 'only post if it's interesting or entertaining to bubbles'.

If you'd bothered to read the thread you'd see that he had apologised and moved past it, and if you think this thread is uninteresting or dull or whatever, find another one. No-one's making you read it.


----------



## bubblesmcgrath (Jul 5, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> Real life work incidents are rarely as interesting as an international spay ring or soap opera, but it weighed on Pickman's sufficiently for him to bounce it off people here. That's the whole damn point of the employment forum - to discuss work related issues of all kinds. There's no criteria that says 'only post if it's interesting or entertaining to bubbles'.
> 
> If you'd bothered to read the thread you'd see that he had apologised and moved past it, and if you think this thread is uninteresting or dull or whatever, find another one. No-one's making you read it.




I did read the entire thread. And read that he'd apologised.
But thanks for "explaining" that this was something I didnt have to read.



Ps. I'm intrigued by the "international spay ring" ..


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 5, 2014)

Ma has Brazil in the office WC sweepstake. Tonight she goes 'Who should I cheer for? colombia looks a good team'

'You get the money if Brazil win mum'

'Yeah I know but I always want to cheer the underdog'



doesn't give a shit about football, has a financial stake on the other lot, still cheers for the underdog


----------



## Wilf (Jul 5, 2014)

I'm on Team Pickmans. T-Shirts arrive later today.


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## Pickman's model (Jul 9, 2014)

Wilf said:


> I'm on Team Pickmans. T-Shirts arrive later today.


"no one likes us we don't care much"


----------



## equationgirl (Jul 9, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> "no one likes us we don't care much"


How's she been since? All ok now?


----------



## Pickman's model (Jul 9, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> How's she been since? All ok now?


not seen her since


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## equationgirl (Jul 9, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> not seen her since


Sort of ok then


----------



## coley (Aug 24, 2014)

Badgers said:


> Almost tempting to make it formal eh? Those sort of accusations at work should really be taken seriously I suppose. Wonder how she would react if you went down that route? I would not make it formal (and very much doubt you will) but it is a bit unpleasant.



I wouldn't make it formal, but would certainly suggest if she wasn't happy with my solution then she has the opportunity to make a complaint/follow the grievance route, and make a note of her decision, painful lessons learnt


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## Casually Red (Aug 24, 2014)

Pickman's model said:


> so there i am, sitting about minding my own business in a public-facing role, when someone comes up and asks my colleague a question. she doesn't immediately know the answer and yer man comes round to me. i do know the answer - directions to somewhere i used to work - so despite her saying she'd look it up on the internet, i tell him the answer.
> 
> this doesn't go down so well with my colleague who says i've been complicit in sexist behaviour and undermining her. which isn't so good.  but it seemed to me that knowing the answer it would be quicker simply to tell him.




youre being sexist because if it was a male wor colleague who acted the maggot over the issue youd tell hm to go fuck himself immediately .

so..sexist . Shame on you . Youll be holding doors open next .


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## Casually Red (Aug 24, 2014)

Spymaster said:


> Some people are just odd.
> 
> A couple of weeks ago we had a situation and I told the AD that his solution was the worst idea that anyone's had "since Zed decided to bum Marsellus Wallace". Cue; diversionary accusations of homophobia.
> 
> Sometimes it's best to ignore morons and move on.





im stealing that one


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