# An open message to visitors enjoying Brixton's exciting night life: show some fucking respect please



## editor (Jun 9, 2013)

This is a public service message on behalf of the residents and workers of Brixton to those young (and not so young) folks who have recently started to enjoy the area's 'vibrant' night-life.

1. Please DO NOT piss in people's doorways, against house walls or in residential gardens. People live there, you scumbags.

2. The same applies to shops and other commercial premises. People work there and don't want to have deal with the stench of your stale piss every morning. 

3. If you enjoy a snack from one of the many fast food vendors, kindly deposit the packaging and any food remnants/bones/greasy chicken skins in the many bins to be found around the town.

4. The same applies to bottles and cans. Please don't lob them into people's gardens/back yards.

5. Treat pub/club/door staff with respect. Shouting, clicking your fingers or generally acting like a spoilt brat is unlikely to gain you speedier service at the bar. The staff are working hard while you're getting pissed up, so show them some respect. 

6. When heading back from from wherever it is you came from, please do not bellow and bray at the top of your voice at 4am as you walk around with your drunken pals. People live here and want to sleep. 

Thanks, awfully.


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## snadge (Jun 9, 2013)

Sounds like Whitley Bay circa 1990, seems like it's Brixtons turn.


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## mrsfran (Jun 9, 2013)

This is just for Brixton, is it? Special unique snowflake Brixton?

Or are you perhaps just talking about common courtesy, which has nothing to do with NIMBYism?


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## Dillinger4 (Jun 9, 2013)

I used to work in a bar and have people click their fingers at me


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## editor (Jun 9, 2013)

mrsfran said:


> This is just for Brixton, is it? Special unique snowflake Brixton?


It's about the area I live in, the places I go, the people I see and the things I (unfortunately) now encounter most weekends on my street.

Feel free to start similar threads in forums about other areas if you like, but I want to talk about what's happening in my neighbourhood. That's why I posted it in the Brixton forum 

Oh and Brixton is special and unique to me.


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## SpookyFrank (Jun 9, 2013)

Dillinger4 said:


> I used to work in a bar and have people click their fingers at me


 
Yeah, but you can just ignore them and watch their stupid entitled faces boil over with fury as they watch everyone else but them get served.

I am not a dog, I do not respond to the clicking of fingers. Except in certain bedroom-related scenarios, and only if the parameters have been agreed upon in advance


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## FridgeMagnet (Jun 9, 2013)

I would certainly appreciate it if certain football based visitors to my locality could pay attention to point 1, rather than my actually having to step over their rivers of urine while trying to get into my own fucking flat, and point out to them that they were literally pissing on my doorstep.

It would also be appreciated if they didn't then vaguely wake up and make "amusing" comments like "oh you own the whole block then". You're the one pissing on a stranger's doorstep you incontinent drunken cunt. Your moral position here is automatically quite low.


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## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2013)

I'd quite like inconsiderate wankers to also stop smashing the windows round the back of the tannery and littering the path where I walk my dog with shards of glass. We aren't exciting like brixton but you could at least stop doing that.

also your KFC remnants are not welcome


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## DotCommunist (Jun 9, 2013)

feel free to keep leaving the odd bag of weed on the ground though. Doesn't happen often but when it does you make my fucking day


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## sparkybird (Jun 9, 2013)

Don't think this is a recent phenomenon

I've been picking discarded cans/bottles out of my front garden hedge for well over a decade as well as being woken up by drunkards shouting in the street at all hours. Oh and as for the chicken bones...

Maybe we're just getting old and minding it more..

Never caught anyone pissing in my front garden (but I'm sure they do) - just the odd junkie making use of my porch sensor light to shoot up on the front step....

OOOOOoo - That'll bring the property prices right back down


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## Rushy (Jun 9, 2013)

sparkybird said:


> Don't think this is a recent phenomenon
> 
> I've been picking discarded cans/bottles out of my front garden hedge for well over a decade as well as being woken up by drunkards shouting in the street at all hours. Oh and as for the chicken bones...
> 
> ...


 
^^ This. I can sometimes fill a recycling bag with all the stuff thrown over the wall. Also wallets and keys. And even a couple of very large kitchen knives over the years.

Things are getting remarkably better though. I no longer find urinary catheters or crack poo (looks like something a cow might leave in a field).


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## Hocus Eye. (Jun 9, 2013)

I can't believe that anyone has ever pissed in anyone's doorstep anywhere in the South East, except perhaps where I live, but then the council has closed al the toilets here. I am sure that this cannot be the case anywhere else - it would be uncivilised.


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## Plumdaff (Jun 9, 2013)

I left south London early this year but can attest that visitors to The Swan Stockwell have been leaving a piss tsunami, with decorative chicken bones, behind the tube station every weekend night for at least a decade and unless the speed of gentrification has gone interstellar, none of them were hipsters.


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## FridgeMagnet (Jun 9, 2013)

lagtbd said:


> none of them were hipsters.


Hipsters can't do the street urine thing. Trousers are too tight.


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## kittyP (Jun 9, 2013)

Unfortunately I think the same goes for some residents as well as visitors.


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## Brixton Hatter (Jun 9, 2013)

We need the Green Police from Glastonbury - with torches, water pistols and cameras at the ready, to catch the late night pissers!


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## Kid_Eternity (Jun 9, 2013)

mrsfran said:


> This is just for Brixton, is it? Special unique snowflake Brixton?
> 
> Or are you perhaps just talking about common courtesy, which has nothing to do with NIMBYism?


 

Don't agree with your tone but you have a point that this is far from unique to Brixton...it happens anywhere you can get pissed.


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## Kanda (Jun 9, 2013)

This is new???? Really? In Brixton ???


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## 8ball (Jun 9, 2013)

I say, I say, I say - please keep the noise down and be careful where you wee - thanks awfully! 

(((Brixton)))


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## editor (Jun 9, 2013)

Kanda said:


> This is new???? Really? In Brixton ???


Try living near the centre. Or talking to the people working in the bars and clubs.


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## Kanda (Jun 9, 2013)

editor said:


> Try living near the centre. Or talking to the people working in the bars and clubs.


 

I do the latter. Doorways have been getting pissed in for years up the Hill too btw... as well as most of the other stuff you posted, litter etc....


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## editor (Jun 9, 2013)

Kanda said:


> I do the latter. Doorways have been getting pissed in for years up the Hill too btw... as well as most of the other stuff you posted, litter etc....


You're quite entitled to feel that nothing's changed at all in recent years, but I'm afraid my own experience - and those of the locals and bar/club staff I talk to regularly - are very different. And there is _no question_ that the centre of town is busier than it's been for a very, very long time.


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## Kanda (Jun 10, 2013)

editor said:


> You're quite entitled to think nothing's changed at all in recent years, but I'm afraid my own experience - and those of the locals and bar/club staff I talk to regularly - are very different. And there is _no question_ that the centre of town is busier than it's been for a very, very long time.


 

Not said it hasn't changed. Dunno where you got that from.

Yes, the center is busier than ever, I think up the Hill probably has been victim of gentrification before the center, the housing stock has thinned etc though....


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## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

Kanda said:


> Not said it hasn't changed. Dunno where you got that from.


Sorry, I thought that's what you meant when you said this:


Kanda said:


> This is new???? Really? In Brixton ???


From my experience - and I'm certainly out late more than most in Brixton - there really has been _very noticeable_ changes recently.

The pissing problem is the worst I've ever known it, and I doubt the combination of late nights at the Village and the lack of proper toilet facilities is helping much either.


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## Kanda (Jun 10, 2013)

The 2nd quote was sarcasm. I was implying things hadn't really changed re: litter, pissing in doorways etc... I was just surprised at your OP....


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## teuchter (Jun 10, 2013)

sparkybird said:


> Maybe we're just getting old and minding it more..


 

Surely not!!!


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## teuchter (Jun 10, 2013)

In twenty years' time the culprits will be on their local forum complaining about rowdy youngsters. And so the circle will be completed.


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## xenon (Jun 10, 2013)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Don't agree with your tone but you have a point that this is far from unique to Brixton...it happens anywhere you can get pissed.



Yep. I've never been on a night out in Brixton, - don't really know the area. But you get this sort of thing around places with a lot of bars / venues. IF those establishments are amongst dwellings, it's obviously gonna be more apparent to those that live in them. Pretty disgusting to piss on someone's home anyway. We've all probably pissed up an alley at one time or another. I've never, too my best recollection, slashed on someone's door step though. And dropping your takeaway detritus is equally cunty IMO. I say that as someone who drops fag butts if I can't find an ash tray but I'll at least drop them in the gutter.


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## SW9 (Jun 10, 2013)

In the many Mashups I have been on, don't think I have done any of those things.

Sw9


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## T & P (Jun 10, 2013)

Is the urine of out-of-towners different in colour to that of the locals, or is a different method used to identify the culprits as visitors?


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## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

T & P said:


> Is the urine of out-of-towners different in colour to that of the locals, or is a different method used to identify the culprits as visitors?


Oh, I'm sure there's some locals contributing some urine to the stinky Brixton puddle too, although I  prefer to use my own loo at home.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> We need the Green Police from Glastonbury - with torches, water pistols and cameras at the ready, to catch the late night pissers!


 
People need a place to piss, not a bunch of effete little twats in costume patronising them. People are bursting full of liquid after drinking for hours. You need to go so you go, but you need it again 20 minutes later, especially if the air hits you as you leave a club or bar. You're hammered so your courtesy levels drop somewhat, you HAVE to go and can't hold on.

Doing it in someone's doorway is disgusting and even when drunk people should know that. They probably do it because it's a place they can keep an eye for the police whilst performing the act. Couldn't they stick some temporary loos in strategic places on the right nights of the week? Or some other practical solution to help people out. It's just not realistic to tell people "wait until you get home".


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## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Couldn't they stick some temporary loos in strategic places on the right nights of the week? Or some other practical solution to help people out. It's just not realistic to tell people "wait until you get home".


They put one 'pop-op' loo on Electric Avenue. There was a truck parked on it last night. 

It's all well and good to have a lively night-time economy, but unless there's sufficient public toilets about, people full of beer are going to go wherever they can - especially if they're about to get on the tube/bus.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

editor said:


> They put one 'pop-op' loo on Electric Avenue. There was a truck parked on it last night.
> 
> It's all well and good to have a lively night-time economy, but unless there's sufficient public toilets about, people full of beer are going to go wherever they can - especially if they're about to get on the tube/bus.


 
Exactly. I mean, it IS gross that people do it but then I don't think they've got much choice either. I think the ones who can wait do wait, and the ones who can't, don't.

No-one likes that feeling of being mid-stream in the street thinking "Is that a copper, is that a copper", totally stressed as you gush forth. You only piss like that when you feel you can't stand it anymore. A couple of years ago, the BBC ran a story about an increase in LITERALLY burst/perforated bladders being seen in A and E, as people drinking huge quantities of booze "held on" with disastrous consequences.

You have to stick those pop-up loos up, and loads of them, in a way that doesn't really happen anywhere.

If I was in Brixton, I confess, I'd try and go round St. Matthew's Church if I was desperate. Up the hill, there must be a tree instead of a doorway.


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## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

Favelado said:


> If I was in Brixton, I confess, I'd try and go round St. Matthew's Church if I was desperate. Up the hill, there must be a tree instead of a doorway.


Some pissheads just get their cocks out and piss in the street or just stand on the grass outside my block emptying their bladder in full view of anyone passing by. Some aren't bothered about the time of the day either.


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## Superdupastupor (Jun 10, 2013)

Dillinger4 said:


> I used to work in a bar and have people click their fingers at me


 
i used to click my fingers at drunk costumers. take that cunts!


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

editor said:


> Some pissheads just get their cocks out and piss in the street or just stand on the grass outside my block emptying their bladder in full view of anyone passing by. Some aren't bothered about the time of the day either.


 
Well, I've expressed some sympathy for people's plight but it doesn't extend that far. They can fuck off.


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## gabi (Jun 10, 2013)

When I used to live in very central Brixton, my flatmate (and owner of the place) used to spot people pissing on our doorway, piss in an empty can of lager himself, open the door and smash the can into the pisser's face. I'm not advocating such violence but it certainly was quite satisfying.


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## gabi (Jun 10, 2013)

btw, it's not just out of town drinkers doing this. it used to be quite common for mums to allow their little boys to just have a piss on our doorway, in broad daylight.


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## teuchter (Jun 10, 2013)

The whole situation could be quite satisfactorily and easily resolved by making it legal/acceptable to urinate directly into drains or say within 300mm of them. And scold people for doing anything else.


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## Manter (Jun 10, 2013)

Is there something uniquely delicate about bloke's bladders? Women manage to hold on, despite having a skinful/cold air/ whatever


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## gabi (Jun 10, 2013)

we used to have a masturbating female pensioner outside our flat quite often too  Not a pleasant sight first thing in the morning on the way to work.


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## Manter (Jun 10, 2013)

gabi said:


> we used to have a masturbating female pensioner outside our flat quite often too  Not a pleasant sight first thing in the morning on the way to work.


Eek!!


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## lefteri (Jun 10, 2013)

I remember having a chat with someone who lived in the streets between the effra and CHL - the local crackheads would defecate in their front garden pretty much every night.  In the end she reached a compromise with them whereby she would leave plastic bags in the bins and they would do it in those and deposit the full bags in the rubbish for collection


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## spanglechick (Jun 10, 2013)

Manter said:


> Is there something uniquely delicate about bloke's bladders? Women manage to hold on, despite having a skinful/cold air/ whatever


i think  little girls are less accommodated from childhood if they need a wee, because they can't just go behind a bush or whatever.   i mean yes, as newly potty-trained tots parents will oblige their daughters by helping them wee in the outdoors, but from four or five, most girlchildren learn, often at great discomfort, both to take pre-emptive wees, and also to struggle on even when desperate.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

spanglechick said:


> i think little girls are less accommodated from childhood if they need a wee, because they can't just go behind a bush or whatever. i mean yes, as newly potty-trained tots parents will oblige their daughters by helping them wee in the outdoors, but from four or five, most girlchildren learn, often at great discomfort, both to take pre-emptive wees, and also to struggle on even when desperate.


 
It's the women who mainly end up in hospital. People need a place to piss.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7085763.stm


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## teuchter (Jun 10, 2013)

Manter said:


> Women manage to hold on, despite having a skinful/cold air/ whatever


 

You must be acquainted with a select group of women.


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## el-ahrairah (Jun 10, 2013)

gabi said:


> we used to have a masturbating female pensioner outside our flat quite often too  Not a pleasant sight first thing in the morning on the way to work.


 
mum said sorry but still you keep bringing it up


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## Gramsci (Jun 10, 2013)

In Soho the Council put in portable toilets on the weekend. There are a lack of toilets in Brixton. The Village only has one which is not enough now its full of restaurant and bars.

As the Council has encouraged Brixton to be an entertainment destination it could do more.

A street cleaner on night duty would also be a good idea.


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## 8ball (Jun 10, 2013)

Brixton's 'exciting night life' sounds like a horrific, unending Fresher's Week these days.


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## ffsear (Jun 10, 2013)

Thank god for Streatham hill


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## Citizen66 (Jun 10, 2013)

Is an 'open letter' defined as one that the intended recipients are unlikely to ever read?


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## ringo (Jun 10, 2013)

Brixton has always been like this, as have most inner city areas where those 'young people' go out. Its not Brixton that has changed, you just got old.


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## TruXta (Jun 10, 2013)

ringo said:


> Brixton has always been like this, as have most inner city areas where those 'young people' go out. Its not Brixton that has changed, you just got old.


Nah, deffo more piss these days, simply because of more people and no public loos.


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## colacubes (Jun 10, 2013)

TruXta said:


> Nah, deffo more piss these days, simply because of more people and no public loos.


 
Yep.  I've been in my place nearly 9 years and it's markedly worse.  More people; not enough infrastructure to cope due to the Village and Market Row being open and there's not enough loos in there to cope; people leaving pissed and not holding it in etc etc.  It's always been a bit of an issue in central Brixton but these days it's pretty rare for me to not catch someone pissing on my front door if I come home after dark.  Plus the pop up bog at the end of Electric Avenue doesn't seem to have worked for months.


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## 8ball (Jun 10, 2013)

The entirety of London seems to smell of a mixture of piss and petrol, but I guess Brixton is very slanted towards the piss these days.

How about a few of those outdoor concrete urinals like they have in Holland?

edit: this one looks like plastic, actually


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## Crispy (Jun 10, 2013)

Yep, a bunch of those scattered around the center and taken away sunrise would be ideal. Portaloos with doors too - women also pee.


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## TruXta (Jun 10, 2013)

I'm sure there used to be some of these out in Brixton of a weekend, have they stopped bringing them?


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## 8ball (Jun 10, 2013)

Crispy said:


> ...women also pee.


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## Sirena (Jun 10, 2013)

I always thought Tunstall Road (directly opposite the tube) would be a good place for a couple of loos.  But then you have to take care they don't turn into little drug-dens.  The two phone boxes that used to be in Tunstall Road became quite a haunt for pipe-smokers and, eventually, got taken away.


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## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

colacubes said:


> Yep. I've been in my place nearly 9 years and it's markedly worse. More people; not enough infrastructure to cope due to the Village and Market Row being open and there's not enough loos in there to cope; people leaving pissed and not holding it in etc etc. It's always been a bit of an issue in central Brixton but these days it's pretty rare for me to not catch someone pissing on my front door if I come home after dark. Plus the pop up bog at the end of Electric Avenue doesn't seem to have worked for months.


Yep. It's definitely got a lot worse recently.

There's _far_ more people coming in to town on weekends, the bars and clubs are busier and open for longer and there's just about bugger all public toilets open late at night.


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

Sirena said:


> I always thought Tunstall Road (directly opposite the tube) would be a good place for a couple of loos. But then you have to take care they don't turn into little drug-dens. The two phone boxes that used to be in Tunstall Road became quite a haunt for pipe-smokers and, eventually, got taken away.


 
When I lived there I got Streetcare to agree to jet wash the pedestrian area on Saturday and Sunday mornings. There were sometimes turds too but I expect those cow pats were most likely related to the pipe and IV users. There was a time that you would see people shooting up in that box every day.


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## colacubes (Jun 10, 2013)

TruXta said:


> I'm sure there used to be some of these out in Brixton of a weekend, have they stopped bringing them?


 
There's a retractable one at the end of Electric Avenue that pops up at night (from about 8pm) but it's not been working for months.  There was also one opposite the tube by the Body Shop for a bit as an experiment but not permanently.


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## 19sixtysix (Jun 10, 2013)

Lucky it's only a bit of piss. My pals uncles flat over looked a lane behind Willesden Green Tube Station. At all times of day people used to drop their pants and have a dump.

He took to shouting at them out the window mid dump


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## colacubes (Jun 10, 2013)

19sixtysix said:


> Lucky it's only a bit of piss. My pals uncles flat over looked a lane behind Willesden Green Tube Station. At all times of day people used to drop their pants and have a dump.
> 
> He took to shouting at them out the window mid dump


 
Oh we have people taking a dump as well on occasion. I even caught one person mid-event.  It was quite funny watching him shuffle off with his trousers round his ankles


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## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

Since the crack and heroin addicts have left the Barrier Block, the fire exits and emergency stairs are now joyfully free of needles, shit and other items of uncertain origin. Happy days!


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## TruXta (Jun 10, 2013)

colacubes said:


> Oh we have people taking a dump as well on occasion. I even caught one person mid-event. It was quite funny watching him shuffle off with his trousers round his ankles


Should've given him a gentle push to help him on his way.


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

My friend in Lambert Road was woken by someone gently knocking on her ground floor garden window a few weeks ago. She opened the shutters to see a woman's face pressed against a glass whilst being taken from behind.

Years ago a guy living in my house went home for a sandwich at lunchtime. When he opened the front door to leave there was a guy shagging a prostitute on the raised front door step. Without stopping he apparently raised one palm to him and said "Give me a minute. I'm almost finished."


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## SpookyFrank (Jun 10, 2013)

T & P said:


> Is the urine of out-of-towners different in colour to that of the locals, or is a different method used to identify the culprits as visitors?


 
Obviously it's from out of towners. Who ever heard of twats ever living in London?


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## SpookyFrank (Jun 10, 2013)

Brixton Hatter said:


> We need the Green Police from Glastonbury - with torches, water pistols and cameras at the ready, to catch the late night pissers!


 
What, they take photos of people while they're taking a piss? If someone did that to me I'd be inclined to see how well their camera worked after I'd shoved it halfway down their throat.

Fancy putting on a giant music event in a field and expecting people not to piss in hedges.


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## T & P (Jun 10, 2013)

Maybe someone has been putting these signs up in Brixton...


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## TruXta (Jun 10, 2013)

All this reminds of the time a mate was at a festival (Roskilde I think) - he needs to wee in the late hours, swings up to a darkened patch of fencing and starts tinkling, only to be greeted by howls of outrage from the woman who was squatting down in the same errand right in front of him.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

Gramsci said:


> In Soho the Council put in portable toilets on the weekend. There are a lack of toilets in Brixton. The Village only has one which is not enough now its full of restaurant and bars.
> 
> As the Council has encouraged Brixton to be an entertainment destination it could do more.
> 
> A street cleaner on night duty would also be a good idea.


 
The council here in Madrid go round and hose the streets on Saturday and Sunday mornings in party districts of the city during the summer. A big truck full of rainwater (I think) does the rounds with a megahose and blasts the piss away. It's quick and effective.


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## Remus Harbank (Jun 10, 2013)

Rushy said:


> My friend in Lambert Road was woken by someone gently knocking on her ground floor garden window a few weeks ago. She opened the shutters to see a woman's face pressed against a glass whilst being taken from behind.





Rushy said:


> Years ago a guy living in my house went home for a sandwich at lunchtime. When he opened the front door to leave there was a guy shagging a prostitute on the raised front door step. Without stopping he apparently raised one palm to him and said "Give me a minute. I'm almost finished."


 
I used to live on Lambert Road in a garden flat for 7 years until last year…

It did get worse over time. Chickenbones and bottles in the garden, bellowing drunk posh kids wobbling home from the Windmill, crackwhores on the bedroom window sill, about 5 foot from the bed negotiating an extra pound… and then proceeding to act all excited, usually at 3am on a Tuesday; woe and behold the punter who pulled out without paying, the pimp near Brixton Hill would take care of him, very audibly. Not to mention the ratrun from Acre Lane… Oh what heady days (or nights)


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## el-ahrairah (Jun 10, 2013)

TruXta said:


> All this reminds of the time a mate was at a festival (Roskilde I think) - he needs to wee in the late hours, swings up to a darkened patch of fencing and starts tinkling, only to be greeted by howls of outrage from the woman who was squatting down in the same errand right in front of him.


 
i've seen that happen more than once!


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## el-ahrairah (Jun 10, 2013)

el-ahrairah said:


> i've seen that happen more than once!


 
actually, that also reminds me of a friend of mine who is partially sighted (yes, i know, but it isn't me) - at a V Festival (which proves it isn't me as you;d never catch me dead there) once, well lubricated and enhanced, stumbled into a dark patch of bushes and started pissing.

it wasn't a dark patch of bushes.  it was a group of revellers sitting on the floor.


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## TruXta (Jun 10, 2013)

el-ahrairah said:


> actually, that also reminds me of a friend of mine who is partially sighted (yes, i know, but it isn't me) - at a V Festival (which proves it isn't me as you;d never catch me dead there) once, well lubricated and enhanced, stumbled into a dark patch of bushes and started pissing.
> 
> it wasn't a dark patch of bushes. it was a group of revellers sitting on the floor.


A dark patch of butches?


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## pissflaps (Jun 10, 2013)




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## ViolentPanda (Jun 10, 2013)

kittyP said:


> Unfortunately I think the same goes for some residents as well as visitors.


 
Residents, it's always been more about street-pissing in Brixton.


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 10, 2013)

teuchter said:


> In twenty years' time the culprits will be on their local forum complaining about rowdy youngsters. And so the circle will be completed.


 
Only if someone whose username is teuchter jr is posting up inanities too.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

The first time I ever saw a woman piss was at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in Brixton. A rather dishevelled older lady drinking some Spesh in the middle of the pavement suddenly lifted up her dress and let rip. It was like Iguazu in terms of both flow and foliage. I needed a sit down with a cup of tea when I got back to Hubert Grove.


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 10, 2013)

Favelado said:


> People need a place to piss, not a bunch of effete little twats in costume patronising them. People are bursting full of liquid after drinking for hours. You need to go so you go, but you need it again 20 minutes later, especially if the air hits you as you leave a club or bar. You're hammered so your courtesy levels drop somewhat, you HAVE to go and can't hold on.
> 
> Doing it in someone's doorway is disgusting and even when drunk people should know that. They probably do it because it's a place they can keep an eye for the police whilst performing the act. Couldn't they stick some temporary loos in strategic places on the right nights of the week? Or some other practical solution to help people out. It's just not realistic to tell people "wait until you get home".


 
I know it's a radical concept for some people, but if you're in an urban area and need a lag, step between two parked cars and piss into the bloody gutter, you wazzocks.  That way you're not pissing on someone's doorstep or wall, and the chances are your piss will go down a drain, not soak into someone's mat or their brickwork.

I will shamefacedly admit to a 5-6 month long spate of pissing into the wheel-arches of Mercs and Beemers when I was in my 20s.


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

Remus Harbank said:


> I used to live on Lambert Road in a garden flat for 7 years until last year…
> 
> It did get worse over time. Chickenbones and bottles in the garden, bellowing drunk posh kids wobbling home from the Windmill, crackwhores on the bedroom window sill, about 5 foot from the bed negotiating an extra pound… and then proceeding to act all excited, usually at 3am on a Tuesday; woe and behold the punter who pulled out without paying, the pimp near Brixton Hill would take care of him, very audibly. Not to mention the ratrun from Acre Lane… Oh what heady days (or nights)


 
You didn't live downstairs from a certain specials someone, did you?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 10, 2013)

Manter said:


> Is there something uniquely delicate about bloke's bladders? Women manage to hold on, despite having a skinful/cold air/ whatever


 
We're terribly delicate creatures all round, to be fair.


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## Crispy (Jun 10, 2013)

It should be noted that McDonalds Brixton is a participant in Lambeth Council's public toilet scheme, which means you are welcome - invited, in fact - to use their facilities without buying anything, 6am-10pm Sun-Thurs, 24h Fri-Sat.

http://www.lambeth.gov.uk/Services/TransportStreets/StreetCareCleaning/CommunityToiletScheme.htm


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

Favelado said:


> The first time I ever saw a woman piss was at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in Brixton. A rather dishevelled older lady drinking some Spesh in the middle of the pavement suddenly lifted up her dress and let rip. It was like Iguazu in terms of both flow and foliage. I needed a sit down with a cup of tea when I got back to Hubert Grove.


 
Oh my God. That totally reminds me of having breakfast outside at the SW9 at 11am. A rather large shaven headed woman comes up and says to my mate "Gi's a quid" to which he said "Er, no, sorry". Then she put her hand out and said to me "Gi's 50p" and just stared at me. "I'm afraid I can't help you". Then the waiter comes running out and telling her to leave the customers alone so she waddled off about 5m, bent forward, pulled up her dress and jetted in our general direction. We sat in stunned silence.

Another time (in Sydney) I was working a hotdog stand outside the Golfish Bowl in Kings Cross at about 4am when I became aware of a bloke climbing into the flowerbed within touching distance behind me. I turned to see him squatting and taking a shit. He just grinned and said "Don't mind me, mate".


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## The39thStep (Jun 10, 2013)

Don't have this sort of problem in Manchester


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

Rushy said:


> Oh my God. That totally reminds me of having breakfast outside at the SW9 at 11am. A rather large shaven headed woman comes up and says to my mate "Gi's a quid" to which he said "Er, no, sorry". Then she put her hand out and said to me "Gi's 50p" and just stared at me. "I'm afraid I can't help you". Then the waiter comes running out and telling her to leave the customers alone so she waddled off about 5m, bent forward, pulled up her dress and jetted in our general direction. We sat in stunned silence.
> 
> Another time (in Sydney) I was working a hotdog stand outside the Golfish Bowl in Kings Cross at about 4am when I became aware of a bloke climbing into the flowerbed within touching distance behind me. I turned to see him squatting and taking a shit. He just grinned and said "Don't mind me, mate".


 
Maybe it was the same woman. It was in _exactly_ the same place, just a very long time ago.


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## Diamond (Jun 10, 2013)

Ephebiphobia


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Maybe it was the same woman. It was in _exactly_ the same place, just a very long time ago.


Yep - was more than 10yrs ago.

Maybe I was having breakfast with you


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

Diamond said:


> Ephebiphobia


 
Good word.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

Rushy said:


> Yep - was more than 10yrs ago.
> 
> Maybe I was having breakfast with you


 
Well, in my case it was in 1999 I think, just before SW9 opened but it was 2 metres from where they put those tables and chairs a few months later. It's brilliant that someone else was so scarred by the same horrific jet of micturation. It's stayed with me all these years.

Brother, come here and hug me. We can get over this if we just talk about it together.


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Well, in my case it was in 1999 I think, just before SW9 opened but it was 2 metres from where they put those tables and chairs a few months later. It's brilliant that someone else was so scarred by the same horrific jet of micturation. It's stayed with me all these years.
> 
> Brother, come here and hug me. We can get over this if we just talk about it together.


 

 I'm feeling better already! 

Wasn't it open already in 99? I moved to Tunstall Road in '98 and can't remember anything else being there in my time. The old Brixtonian had already gone - what was that guys name? Vincent? Last I saw him he was playing a panto dame in Brighton.


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## EastEnder (Jun 10, 2013)

Crispy said:


> It should be noted that McDonalds Brixton is a participant in Lambeth Council's public toilet scheme, which means you are welcome - invited, in fact - to use their facilities without buying anything, 6am-10pm Sun-Thurs, 24h Fri-Sat.


I think an exploding bladder would still be preferable to going into McDonalds.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

Rushy said:


> I'm feeling better already!
> 
> Wasn't it open already in 99? I moved to Tunstall Road in '98 and can't remember anything else being there in my time. The old Brixtonian had already gone - what was that guys name? Vincent? Last I saw him he was playing a panto dame in Brighton.


 
I never went to the Brixtonian, I think it had gone when I first moved to the area in Jan 1998. I used to walk down that little alley and there was just a closed down or empty unit if I remember correctly. I think in 1998 it must have been in transition between its old incarnation and SW9, opening up sometime in 1999. I reckon so.


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## tarannau (Jun 10, 2013)

The Brixtonian didn't become SW9. The remains of the Brixtonian are still there, although it occasionally looks ripe for a change of use that never happens.


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## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

tarannau said:


> The Brixtonian didn't become SW9. The remains of the Brixtonian are still there, although it occasionally looks ripe for a change of use that never happens.


 
Reckon you're thinking of Brixtonian II round the back of the Rec? Vincent owned both. Funnily enough I wandered by only last week to see what was there!


----------



## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

tarannau said:


> The Brixtonian didn't become SW9. The remains of the Brixtonian are still there, although it occasionally looks ripe for a change of use that never happens.


I had some good nights there. They had an awesome selection of spirits.


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## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

I was talking to a bar owner just now and he said that Saturday night was the worst he's known it in a long time, with loads of rude customers treating his staff like shit.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 10, 2013)

i can't help thinking that the laudable points raised in the op might be better being widely disseminated irl rather than solely to people here where the anti-social elements who would benefit from reading it may not discover it.


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## Favelado (Jun 10, 2013)

EastEnder said:


> I think an exploding bladder would still be preferable to going into McDonalds.


 
Shite though McDonalds may be, it's a load of hassle for them to get involved. Just trying to stop people coming in and shooting up in the bogs is a full-time job for these kind of companies.

Poor staff having to mop up the entire community's piss and shit too. For next to fuck all money.


----------



## Rushy (Jun 10, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Shite though McDonalds may be, it's a load of hassle for them to get involved. Just trying to stop people coming in and shooting up in the bogs is a full-time job for these kind of companies.
> 
> Poor staff having to mop up the entire community's piss and shit too. For next to fuck all money.


And at least the doors give you some privacy. Back in the nineties the McD bog doors were cut off way above seat height to prevent just that.


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## story (Jun 10, 2013)

My dad used to tell the tale of the old woman who haunted the corner of Madison Avenue and 42nd Street. Every day she'd hitch up her skirts, squat and pee. This was in the early 60s. When people noticed, she'd shout "WHAT ARE Y'ALL STARING AT? QUIT GAWKIN'!" etc.

When Windswept Square was being developed the pushers were pushed out for the interim. They mostly ended up plying their trade in the Rushcroft, Saltoun, Kellet, Mervan quadrant, where I then lived. Ever single fucking morning for two years I would have to clear from my doorstep some combination of drug wraps, drugs, drug paraphernalia, piss, shit in copious and troubling volume, knives, and takeaway wrappers. Several times there were knives, and several times there were people in varying states of consciousness from dangerous fuck off wired to semi comatose, with an occasional scared out of their mind.

While I have my reservations and concerns about the effects of the new developments in Brixton, I do not miss all that bolloxing bullshit shit.


----------



## editor (Jun 10, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> i can't help thinking that the laudable points raised in the op might be better being widely disseminated irl rather than solely to people here where the anti-social elements who would benefit from reading it may not discover it.


 
Oh, it's been tweeted far and wide and commented on. More people read this forum than just the regulars.


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## teuchter (Jun 10, 2013)

story said:


> My dad used to tell the tale of the old woman who haunted the corner of Madison Avenue and 42nd Street. Every day she'd hitch up her skirts, squat and pee. This was in the early 60s. When people noticed, she'd shout "WHAT ARE Y'ALL STARING AT? QUIT GAWKIN'!" etc.
> 
> When Windswept Square was being developed the pushers were pushed out for the interim. They mostly ended up plying their trade in the Rushcroft, Saltoun, Kellet, Mervan quadrant, where I then lived. Ever single fucking morning for two years I would have to clear from my doorstep some combination or drug wraps, drugs, drug paraphernalia, piss, shit in copious and troubling volume, knives, and takeaway wrappers. Several times there were knives, and several times there were people in varying states of consciousness from dangerous fuck off wired to semi comatose, with an occasional scared out of their mind.
> 
> While I have my reservations and concerns about the effects of the new developments in Brixton, I do not miss all that bolloxing bullshit shit.


where's all the drug stuff happening now then?


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## story (Jun 10, 2013)

I've wondered that myself, teuchter.


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## colacubes (Jun 10, 2013)

teuchter said:


> where's all the drug stuff happening now then?


 
Anecdotally further up Acre Lane and up towards Jamm is what I've heard although there's still a bit of it about on Rushcroft afaik.  It's a bit of a moveable feast tbh.  When I first moved into my place in the centre we had crack and heroin dealers and addicts and all their associated problems on our doorstep (needles/condoms/shit/blood etc).  Then there was a clear out and it got pushed out to Rushcroft/Saltoun.  Then it came back for a bit and then was moved on.  The police crack down (pardon the pun) and it just moves it to another area for a bit until the residents there moan vociferously enough and then it gets moved on elsewhere ad infinitum


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## teuchter (Jun 10, 2013)

story said:


> I've wondered that myself, teuchter.


Your post made it sound a bit like the recent changes in Brixton had somehow been involved in removing the problems you described although I doubt that's what you meant.


----------



## el-ahrairah (Jun 11, 2013)

story said:


> I've wondered that myself, teuchter.


 
don't encourage him.


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## teuchter (Jun 11, 2013)

gabi said:


> we used to have a masturbating female pensioner outside our flat quite often too  Not a pleasant sight first thing in the morning on the way to work.


 
Do you find female and/or pensioner public masturbation for some reason more unacceptable than that carried out by young or male people, by the way?


----------



## story (Jun 11, 2013)

teuchter said:


> Your post made it sound a bit like the recent changes in Brixton had somehow been involved in removing the problems you described although I doubt that's what you meant.


 
Fair comment. But no, that's not what I meant at all. The drug related problems seem to drift about, as colacubes described. Indeed, I had discussions with various cops and cop-type people while all that was going on and they were pretty upfront about the problem, saying there wasn't much they could do, that they were undermanned, that the system rotates the perpetrators through and they end up on the street again soon enough, it's a fruitless endeavour etc. All they can do is ASBO an area for a while to give the residents a break.

The stuff about clubs: well, I'm sure that it's true, but I also think it's just an escalation of something that was already pretty prevalent. Certainly in my old street we were woken every weekend by people returning to their cars after a night out, shouting cos they'd been listening to loud music, laughing and joking, continuing conversations, and sometimes arguing, slamming doors and all that. My partner at the time found it really annoying but it didn't bother me at all: just people living their life, innit. If it makes any difference to those who want to make judgments about who they were and where they came from, it was mostly young black kids, rarely white kids.

There has always been some degree of piss and vomit in and around the markets after hours. I think the difference is that there are far more people coming into Brixton now than there were, and that what were quiet streets where someone might go to deal with an emergency are now destination streets.

Having said that, I was talking to someone last week who has a store-front near the Dogstar and he said he has to deal with a lot more vomit on his doorstep in the last two years then ever before.

Maybe the people who now come to Brixton are by and large younger and less practiced at handling their ale?

I dunno. I don't like it, but it's not unique to Brixton.


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## Favelado (Jun 11, 2013)

teuchter said:


> Do you find female and/or pensioner public masturbation for some reason more unacceptable than that carried out by young or male people, by the way?


 
Both are more unlikely on their own, let alone combined.


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## kikiscrumbles (Jun 11, 2013)

Favelado said:


> The first time I ever saw a woman piss was at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in Brixton. A rather dishevelled older lady drinking some Spesh in the middle of the pavement suddenly lifted up her dress and let rip. It was like Iguazu in terms of both flow and foliage. I needed a sit down with a cup of tea when I got back to Hubert Grove.


 
I think she lives on - very large, straggly/grey-haired woman is still spotted at the end of my road (Tunstall) especially in the summer time. She's very relaxed about taking down her super-drawers in full view. I've seen the well 'ard yoot-dem recoil and gag at the sight... As I live opposite the Tube, the pissing problem at the weekend is a constant irritation, particularly when the Academy has a big event. If I'm coming home late, I choose my victims carefully (hipsters are weak and spindly and easily alarmed) - I sneak up behind them and ROAR indignation in their ears. Always stops them in mid-flow...


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## Favelado (Jun 11, 2013)

kikiscrumbles said:


> I think she lives on - very large, straggly/grey-haired woman is still spotted at the end of my road (Tunstall) especially in the summer time. She's very relaxed about taking down her super-drawers in full view. I've seen the well 'ard yoot-dem recoil and gag at the sight... As I live opposite the Tube, the pissing problem at the weekend is a constant irritation, particularly when the Academy has a big event. If I'm coming home late, I choose my victims carefully (hipsters are weak and spindly and easily alarmed) - I sneak up behind them and ROAR indignation in their ears. Always stops them in mid-flow...


 
Bloody hell, one little memory from all those years ago, albeit a traumatic one, has all of this shared history and almost enough people for a support group.

She should be suspended from a helicopter and used to put out Greek forest fires. She is a disgusting marvel of nature.


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## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

story said:


> There has always been some degree of piss and vomit in and around the markets after hours. I think the difference is that there are far more people coming into Brixton now than there were, and that what were quiet streets where someone might go to deal with an emergency are now destination streets.
> 
> Having said that, I was talking to someone last week who has a store-front near the Dogstar and he said he has to deal with a lot more vomit on his doorstep in the last two years then ever before.


There was a _formidable_ puddle of slowly spreading puke by the Dogstar on Saturday night with a girl in tears next to it. Then 20 yards on was a bloke pissing under the bridge and another by the phone box, followed by two more on the short stretch home.

Last Saturday was so awful I was compelled to start this thread and have a rant.

It's not just 18-30 year olds though: there's no shortage of adults of all ages going for the al fresco toilet facilities of Brixton, and not all are visitors either.


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## story (Jun 11, 2013)

I have very often over the years seen locals pissing in corners, and tried to shame them out of them by saying "What would ya mama say?!"

And the famous No Piss Dis Place sign on Electric Lane: that definitely predates the whole Nu-Brixton thing.


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## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

story said:


> I have very often over the years seen locals pissing in corners, and tried to shame them out of them by saying "What would ya mama say?!"
> 
> And the famous No Piss Dis Place sign on Electric Lane: that definitely predates the whole Nu-Brixton thing.


 
People have always pissed in the streets around here. But not, I fancy, in such great volumes.


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## story (Jun 11, 2013)

...errr... well, yes, that's the point I was making.


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## DaveCinzano (Jun 11, 2013)

Sirena said:


> The two phone boxes that used to be in Tunstall Road became quite a haunt for pipe-smokers and, eventually, got taken away.


 
Fucking Wedgwood Benn, spoiling it for everyone else


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## twistedAM (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> People have always pissed in the streets around here. But not, I fancy, in such great *volumes*.


 
I initially read this as people having larger bladders than they did a couple of years ago.


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## gabi (Jun 11, 2013)

teuchter said:


> Do you find female and/or pensioner public masturbation for some reason more unacceptable than that carried out by young or male people, by the way?


 

Nope, but I've never seen a young male wanking in public tbf. Certainly not squatted outside my front door at 8.30 in the morning either. I think she may be the pissing/shitting woman others are going on about. I used to see her doing that on coldharbour lane from time to time.


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## Crispy (Jun 11, 2013)

gabi said:


> Nope, but I've never seen a young male wanking in public tbf. Certainly not squatted outside my front door at 8.30 in the morning either. I think she may be the pissing/shitting woman others are going on about. I used to see her doing that on coldharbour lane from time to time.


caught her at it in my front door when I lived on the high street an all.
Is this some sort of Real Brixtons badge of honour?


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## Not a Vet (Jun 11, 2013)

The woman in question who I'm pretty sure used to sit outside Lambeth college or in rush common died either last year or the one before. There was a thread about it somewhere, I think her name was Margaret. Her pissing/shitting/wanking in public has scarred me for life.


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## snowy_again (Jun 11, 2013)

Doesn't she live at Fanon House now. I'm embarrassed to say I've been looking at people slightly differently this week.


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## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

The SW9 perpetrator was a different person. Margaret had something of the Father Jack about her. There was a discoloured coping stone where she sat on the corner of Brixton Hill and Horsford.


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## Winot (Jun 11, 2013)

Not a Vet said:


> The woman in question who I'm pretty sure used to sit outside Lambeth college or in rush common died either last year or the one before. There was a thread about it somewhere, I think her name was Margaret. Her pissing/shitting/wanking in public has scarred me for life.



She was called Patricia. Lived on Hayter Rd. And yes, she died a couple of years ago.


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## gabi (Jun 11, 2013)

Patricia was the comb musician/bird artist/lighter saleswoman wasnt she? Not the same woman. She was a thoroughly decent old dear.


----------



## TruXta (Jun 11, 2013)

Was P often seen in company with another old dear? I used to see two ladies around AL/Rush Common/Sudbourne/Hayter, typically drinking out of cans and generally keeping themselves to themselves. Massive long hair and long skirts with layers and layers of clothing. I'd get them some cans once in a while.


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## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

Maybe the same - not sure - long skirt sounds about right but never saw her with anyone else. I mentioned Father Jack because she sometimes had a habit of mumbling swearing as people walked past.


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## TruXta (Jun 11, 2013)

Might be someone else then - never heard this woman swear at anyone.


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## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

I was mindful not to suggest she was actually swearing _at_ anyone because it was never clear whether it was intended to be. She just came out with naughty words.


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## TruXta (Jun 11, 2013)

Rushy said:


> I was mindful not to suggest she was actually swearing _at_ anyone because it was never clear whether it was intended to be. She just came out with naughty words.


Didn't hear that either.


----------



## peterkro (Jun 11, 2013)

kikiscrumbles said:


> I think she lives on - very large, straggly/grey-haired woman is still spotted at the end of my road (Tunstall) especially in the summer time. She's very relaxed about taking down her super-drawers in full view. I've seen the well 'ard yoot-dem recoil and gag at the sight... As I live opposite the Tube, the pissing problem at the weekend is a constant irritation, particularly when the Academy has a big event. If I'm coming home late, I choose my victims carefully (hipsters are weak and spindly and easily alarmed) - I sneak up behind them and ROAR indignation in their ears. Always stops them in mid-flow...


This sounds like the woman I used to see a lot around and about.Pissing against the wall of the town hall in the middle of the day etc.Once when staggering around Brixton with a can of beer she harassed me to give her some she had a big mouthful and then hoiked the most voluminous green lung oyster into the can.Pissed as I was I just stared at her then backed slowly away.Haven't seen her for years by the way.


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## ringo (Jun 11, 2013)

Cycling down Brixton Road yesterday at about 5pm I saw an African woman squat down on the pavement near Jamm and piss on the street. Fucking drunken hipsters ruining _our_ town by bringing their money in and spending locally, encouraging small business to thrive and dragging it out of the ghetto, the fucking cheek of it.


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## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

^ bold move.


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## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

ringo said:


> Cycling down Brixton Road yesterday at about 5pm I saw an African woman squat down on the pavement near Jamm and piss on the street.


Oh dear oh dear oh dear.


----------



## ringo (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> Oh dear oh dear oh dear.


 
Go on then


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

ringo said:


> Go on then


 
What's someone's colour/ethnicity got to do with _anything_? It's already been clearly stated that it's not just visitors responsible for pissing in the streets (although they are clearly responsible for the huge increase in such activities).


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)




----------



## 8ball (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> What's someone's colour/ethnicity got to do with _anything_?


 
You forgot gender.


----------



## ringo (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> What's someone's colour/ethnicity got to do with _anything_? It's already been clearly stated that it's not just visitors responsible for pissing in the streets (although they are clearly responsible for the huge increase in such activities).


 
Ah, the classic Urban accusation of racism, wheeled out ad nauseum to reinforce ones own right on credentials. Yawn.

It was obvious from my post that I drew attention to the fact that she was African precisely to demonstrate that its not just hipster food tourists pissing in the streets, its our own population. But you just couldn't resist the opportunity to smugly attempt to 'out' someone as a racist, despite no actual evidence of racism whatsoever. Pathetic.


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

ringo said:


> It was obvious from my post that I drew attention to the fact that she was African precisely to demonstrate that its not just hipster food tourists pissing in the streets, its our own population.


Where does the OP mention hipsters?

I've already made it very clear that it's a widespread activity, although I didn't feel the need to start identifying particular ethnic groups.


editor said:


> It's not just 18-30 year olds though: there's no shortage of adults of all ages going for the al fresco toilet facilities of Brixton, and not all are visitors either.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

just to be clear - is it still ok to discriminate against people based upon their fashion sense (or lack thereof) on here? it's so confusing.


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> just to be clear - is it still ok to discriminate against people based upon their fashion sense (or lack thereof) on here? it's so confusing.


Could you give some examples of this fashion "discrimination" please and detail the negative impact it has on their lives? 

On second thoughts, don't bother. It's an inane argument.


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## TopCat (Jun 11, 2013)

The lack of any willingness to provide proper public toilets is the underlying issue. 

We should start a poll. Have you ever pissed on the streets of Brixton? I have. It does not help that the Tube has no toilets, the train station has no toilets, there are no toilets!


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> just to be clear - is it still ok to discriminate against people based upon their fashion sense (or lack thereof) on here? it's so confusing.


 
It's been happening for years, why change


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> Could you give some examples of this fashion "discrimination" please and detail the negative impact it has on their lives?
> 
> On second thoughts, don't bother. It's an inane argument.


 
well, you having a pop at 'hipsters' every time someone mentions 'gentrification'. Try substituting the word 'gay' everytime you type 'hipsters' in your posts and read em back to yourself. not so fucking right-on now, are we?


----------



## kittyP (Jun 11, 2013)

Manter said:
			
		

> Is there something uniquely delicate about bloke's bladders? Women manage to hold on, despite having a skinful/cold air/ whatever



A female friend of mine regularly pisses herself when drunk 

I think when drunk if I was desperate and had a handy output then I might use it 
It's because we just can't.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> well, you having a pop at 'hipsters' every time someone mentions 'gentrification'. Try substituting the word 'gay' everytime you type 'hipsters' in your posts and read em back to yourself. not so fucking right-on now, are we?


 
In 20 years time though, they'll be looking back at those photos with embarrassment laughing about how they looked 

Happens to us all


----------



## kittyP (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:
			
		

> Since the crack and heroin addicts have left the Barrier Block, the fire exits and emergency stairs are now joyfully free of needles, shit and other items of uncertain origin. Happy days!



Rodents of unusual size?


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## Sweetpea (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> What's someone's colour/ethnicity got to do with _anything_? It's already been clearly stated that it's not just visitors responsible for pissing in the streets (although they are clearly responsible for the huge increase in such activities).


 
Not posted for a while and certainly don't want to post and run for the sake of stirring it (I'm here to keep up with the J11 stuff today; U75 is much better at that sort of thing than these petty bunfights) but I am genuinely interested in why the last few posts are going the way they are. 
I would have suggested that the correct answer to 'go on then' would be: 
http://www.brlhc.com/mrsdoyle2.jpg
Also why do some people feel the need to jump to the defense of anyone who is mentioned by ethnicity/nationality.
My family came to the UK in the 1950's on a boat from the Commonwealth and I certainly don't give a shit whether people describe me by my perceived ethnicity - why should you? 
In this instance the only criticism I would make is that if ringo was riding on a bike how did he get a look at the persons passport enabling them to know the nationality of the person having a piss (African) If ringo had just said black that would be an observation similar to me saying 'I saw a ginger bloke having a pint in the Albert the other day' Would you find that racist? 
Also, not sure it was meant that way but it was mentioned that local people had already been discussed - and it felt a bit like there was an assumption that an 'African' woman must be local - is Brixton such a ghetto that all black people sighted on the streets of London must be presumed to hail from there? In any event, are all Africans black? 
ringo - how did you know she was African?


----------



## kittyP (Jun 11, 2013)

Crispy said:
			
		

> It should be noted that McDonalds Brixton is a participant in Lambeth Council's public toilet scheme, which means you are welcome - invited, in fact - to use their facilities without buying anything, 6am-10pm Sun-Thurs, 24h Fri-Sat.
> 
> http://www.lambeth.gov.uk/Services/TransportStreets/StreetCareCleaning/CommunityToiletScheme.htm



I did not know that.


----------



## kittyP (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:
			
		

> What's someone's colour/ethnicity got to do with anything? It's already been clearly stated that it's not just visitors responsible for pissing in the streets (although they are clearly responsible for the huge increase in such activities).



People have been trying to identify female shitters. 
It would be stupid to try and dance around it by saying "she had a blue bag" etc when there was an identifying factor.


----------



## ringo (Jun 11, 2013)

Sweetpea said:


> ringo - how did you know she was African?


 
Really? You can't recognise what part of the world some Brixton residents come from? I have no wish to argue with you but I can usually spot Jamaican, Trini, Nigerian, Portugese and Central American from 100 yards. This lady was wearing kente cloth and was quite clearly from Ghana or thereabouts. It doesn't matter where she's from, its where she's not from which was the point of the post. She wasn't one of the hipsters the Ed is constantly waging war on for the crime of being young, having money to spend and wearing current young peoples fashions. And yes, I know what the OP said, it was more about the general theme of posts than just this one.


----------



## Utopia (Jun 11, 2013)

I lived and worked in Brixton for 2 & a half years around 2000 to 2002, i'd walk down Coldharbour lane in the morning around 11am & back up late at night 2am to around 5am...usually 6 times a week.  It stank of piss/spew/poo then, sad to hear some things don't change. I guess thats just what happens when you've such a concentration of so many bars/clubs/takeaways/drunks/druggies in 1 square mile!


----------



## Sweetpea (Jun 11, 2013)

ringo said:


> Really? You can't recognise what part of the world some Brixton residents come from? I have no wish to argue with you but I can usually spot Jamaican, Trini, Nigerian, Portugese and Central American from 100 yards. This lady was wearing kente cloth and was quite clearly from Ghana or thereabouts. It doesn't matter where she's from, its where she's not from which was the point of the post. She wasn't one of the hipsters the Ed is constantly waging war on for the crime of being young, having money to spend and wearing current young peoples fashions. And yes, I know what the OP said, it was more about the general theme of posts than just this one.


 
Hello ringo, thanks for replying. Like i said can't be bothered with a po pah but you probably _think _you can tell a lot about me from my inherited bone structure and skin tone but I was born in Britain and consider myself British as does my passport.


----------



## Sweetpea (Jun 11, 2013)

Anyway, the piss on the streets gets up everyone's nostrils regardless of race/nationality/hair colour or poor dress sense


----------



## TruXta (Jun 11, 2013)

It doesn't get up MY nostrils. Dunno what you lot do when you see piss on the street tho


----------



## friedaweed (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> There was a _formidable_ puddle of slowly spreading puke by the Dogstar on Saturday night with a girl in tears next to it. Then 20 yards on was a bloke pissing under the bridge and another by the phone box, followed by two more on the short stretch home.
> 
> Last Saturday was so awful I was compelled to start this thread and have a rant.
> 
> It's not just 18-30 year olds though: there's no shortage of adults of all ages going for the al fresco toilet facilities of Brixton, and not all are visitors either.


Pics man pics  Then we can name and shame


----------



## madolesance (Jun 11, 2013)

Lambeth are looking to close the toilets in Popes road if they are unable to get a private company to run them.


----------



## friedaweed (Jun 11, 2013)

madolesance said:


> Lambeth are looking to close the toilets in Popes road if they are unable to get a private company to run them.


Urban75 toilets inc.

Graff free bogs for the discerning gentleman and non hipster laydees.


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

friedaweed said:


> Pics man pics  Then we can name and shame


I didn't even want to _look_, let alone photograph the scene.


----------



## Dan U (Jun 11, 2013)

just as an aside really, I was in Hereford recently and the county council is looking to close ALL of the public toilets in Herefordshire and all but one of the libraries.

As TopCat said earlier, that is the real issue here. As there aren't many hipsters in Hereford but plenty of full bladders on a Friday and Saturday night.


----------



## friedaweed (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> I didn't even want to _look_, let alone photograph the scene.


It's the only way to stop it dude. Name and shame. 

I caught my friendly dog turd present giver out during my 'shit watch' campaign. I then posted a link to the village facebook page that showed the pics of dog owner standing there allowing his dog to shit outside my door and walk off. In an hour of posting I had the name and address of the shitty mut and its owner. It got messy for him after that.

Don't get mad get even


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

friedaweed said:


> It's the only way to stop it dude. Name and shame.


The _pukee_ was a young girl in tears. She'd bust up with her boyfriend inside the Dogstar, ran outside and then delivered her deluxe pavement pizza in a teary pukestorm.


I didn't have the heart (or the stomach) to photograph the scene.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)




----------



## twistedAM (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> well, you having a pop at 'hipsters' every time someone mentions 'gentrification'. Try substituting the word 'gay' everytime you type 'hipsters' in your posts and read em back to yourself. not so fucking right-on now, are we?


 
You're right (see also  goths, punks and metalheads which Manchester plod recently categorised as victims of hate crime).
However sometimes I think editor confuses hipsters with priviliged people from the shires and/or just out of uni. Most of the people I see in downtown Brixton these days are preppie often to the point of being Cameronian, rather than hip.


----------



## teuchter (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> Where does the OP mention hipsters?


 

I'd propose that the use of the verb "bray" in the OP suggests a certain.... economic group at least.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

twistedAM said:


> You're right (see also goths, punks and metalheads which Manchester plod recently categorised as victims of hate crime).
> However sometimes I think editor confuses hipsters with priviliged people from the shires and/or just out of uni. Most of the people I see in downtown Brixton these days are preppie often to the point of being Cameronian, rather than hip.


 
There were punks, skinheads, mods, trendies, teds etc. in the 70s/80s (and for some, earlier).  They got it out of their system with a good ole bank holiday punch-up 

Not quite the same admittedly but...


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

any sort 





twistedAM said:


> You're right (see also goths, punks and metalheads which Manchester plod recently categorised as victims of hate crime).
> However sometimes I think editor confuses hipsters with priviliged people from the shires and/or just out of uni. Most of the people I see in downtown Brixton these days are preppie often to the point of being Cameronian, rather than hip.


fair do's. i find it ironic (arf) that a lot of posters on here identify 'hipsters' as the source of gentrification, the criticism being that they are not as 'authentic' as they are. You bad mouth 'hipsters' to show how OG you are, which is exactly the sort of behavior one would come to expect from your archetypal 'hipster'. 

*whispers*

The hipster haters and the hipsters... ARE THE SAME PEOPLE. 

also: "Cameronian"?

you massive racist


----------



## gabi (Jun 11, 2013)

ringo said:


> Really? You can't recognise what part of the world some Brixton residents come from? I have no wish to argue with you but I can usually spot Jamaican, Trini, Nigerian, Portugese and Central American from 100 yards. This lady was wearing kente cloth and was quite clearly from Ghana or thereabouts. It doesn't matter where she's from, its where she's not from which was the point of the post. She wasn't one of the hipsters the Ed is constantly waging war on for the crime of being young, having money to spend and wearing current young peoples fashions. And yes, I know what the OP said, it was more about the general theme of posts than just this one.


 
ringo i know you to be a good man in real life, but you are on shaky ground if utopia is sending likes your way...

I see your point, just a bit clumsy this time in making it methinks.


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

twistedAM said:


> You're right (see also goths, punks and metalheads which Manchester plod recently categorised as victims of hate crime).
> However sometimes I think editor confuses hipsters with priviliged people from the shires and/or just out of uni. Most of the people I see in downtown Brixton these days are preppie often to the point of being Cameronian, rather than hip.


 
i hadn't been to brixton for a while before last night and i saw lots of men wearing half mast shorts and shirts and FLIPFLOPS. what is that about?


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

rutabowa said:


> i hadn't been to brixton for a while before last night and i saw lots of men wearing half mast shorts and shirts and FLIPFLOPS. what is that about?


 
more importantly - why do you give a fuck?


----------



## twistedAM (Jun 11, 2013)

rutabowa said:


> i hadn't been to brixton for a while before last night and i saw lots of men wearing half mast shorts and shirts and FLIPFLOPS. what is that about?


 
You not been to Brixton Marina? It's a dry dock off Coldharbour Lane.


----------



## TruXta (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> more importantly - why do you give a fuck?


Crimes against fashion and decency must be punished. Or at least laughed at.


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> more importantly - why do you give a fuck?


 
because i am INTERESTED IN THE WORLD AROUND ME.


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

twistedAM said:


> You not been to Brixton Marina? It's a dry dock off Coldharbour Lane.


 
am i going to feel silly if i google that?


----------



## TruXta (Jun 11, 2013)

rutabowa said:


> am i going to feel silly if i google that?


Yes


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

yes i am.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

i own shorts and flipflops. what of it?


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> i own shorts and flipflops. what of it?


 
i did suspect so from your reaction.
there is nothing wrong with it, it just is more suited to the beach. when i see them walking out of brixton tube i think of sponsored Innocent smoothie "festies" and people drinking pimms and having barbecues in the park and things like that


----------



## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> i own shorts and flipflops. what of it?


 
The right kind or the wrong kind?


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

rutabowa said:


> i did suspect so from your reaction.
> there is nothing wrong with it, it just is more suited to the beach. when i see them walking out of brixton tube i think of sponsored Innocent smoothie "festies" and people drinking pimms and having barbecues in the park and things like that


 

right. well yeah... like... fuck those people man! fuckin'... doing stuff... right in your FACE... it's not the way we do things around here!


----------



## twistedAM (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> any sort
> fair do's. i find it ironic (arf) that a lot of posters on here identify 'hipsters' as the source of gentrification, the criticism being that they are not as 'authentic' as they are. You bad mouth 'hipsters' to show how OG you are, which is exactly the sort of behavior one would come to expect from your archetypal 'hipster'.
> 
> *whispers*
> ...


 
Hipsters can be gateways gentrification but often unwittingly. Landlords, commercial letters and such see some creativity in an erm "edgy" place and they get to work developing condos and putting up rents. First experience of this I had was when i used to regularly stay with friends in Wicker Park, Chicago. They were musicians; they stayed there cos it was cheap and then rents started to rise, quickly.

I had a sensible conversation (I think) with someone whose been living in Dalston and before that Brooklyn, NY. I think they had a point when comparing this current generation of so-called hipsters to previous  eras when they said its all so corporate. Seems to me that most of the hipster events (that are actually more likely to happen in Peckham than Brixton) are only deemed hip if there's a photographer from VICE magazine there, and that's as corporate as you can get - just look at the ads.


----------



## Dillinger4 (Jun 11, 2013)

rutabowa said:


> i hadn't been to brixton for a while before last night and i saw lots of men wearing half mast shorts and shirts and FLIPFLOPS. what is that about?


 

tell tale sign


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> also: "Cameronian"?


 
It's a lovely tea though


----------



## peterkro (Jun 11, 2013)

J





pissflaps said:


> i own shorts and flipflops. what of it?


Jandals not flip-flops shirley possibly allow shit-flickers if your Australian.


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> right. well yeah... like... fuck those people man! fuckin'... doing stuff... right in your FACE... it's not the way we do things around here!


 
im only winding you up. i've done all those things anyway so i can't talk. but seriously do avoid flipflops whilst walking around brixton, the pavements are covered in broken glass and vomit and such.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

Rushy said:


> The right kind or the wrong kind?


 
free, cheaply manufactured corporate sponsored ones. they came with matching cheap plastic wayfarers too. Both white. I'll be sure to wear them next time in pretending to enjoy the drummer/didge guy outside the tube station while sipping on my magners pear cider.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

rutabowa said:


> im only winding you up. i've done all those things anyway so i can't talk. but seriously do avoid flipflops whilst walking around brixton, the pavements are covered in broken glass and vomit and such.


 
to be honest, i fucking hate flip flops - mostly because of the annoying sound they make when you walk, and that grippy-toe thing you are forced to do to stop them flying off the end of yer feet. CUNT flops more like it.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

what do you call a French man wearing sandals?



Spoiler



...Phillipe Phillope


 
/gets coat


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

peterkro said:


> J
> Jandals not flip-flops shirley possibly allow shit-flickers if your Australian.


 
*you're*


----------



## Crispy (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> CUNT flops more like it.


 Snort
Good for the beach though.


----------



## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

peterkro said:


> J
> Jandals not flip-flops shirley possibly allow shit-flickers if your Australian.


 
Thongs.
Can be a bit confusing.


----------



## Favelado (Jun 11, 2013)

gabi said:


> Patricia was the comb musician/bird artist/lighter saleswoman wasnt she? Not the same woman. She was a thoroughly decent old dear.


 
I remember her and I hadn't thought about her for years. Aw, I liked her comb-playing. It's great that people here can tell me little details about all this stuff.

Does anyone remember an older black lady who walked around painted (and it looked like emulsion or something) white? I saw her once or twice and it was really odd.

I have now just thought of something non/Brixton that I am DESPERATE to see if anyone remembers and I will have to start a thread.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Snort
> Good for the beach though.


 
have you ever tried to skateboard in the fuckers?


----------



## Favelado (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> to be honest, i fucking hate flip flops - mostly because of the annoying sound they make


 
Yeah, how would you describe that sound?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> have you ever tried to skateboard in the fuckers?


I have tried to skateboard in sturdy skating trainers. I dread to think how much worse it would have been in flipflops.


----------



## gabi (Jun 11, 2013)

Favelado said:


> I remember her and I hadn't thought about her for years. Aw, I liked her comb-playing. It's great that people here can tell me little details about all this stuff.
> 
> Does anyone remember an older black lady who walked around painted (and it looked like emulsion or something) white? I saw her once or twice and it was really odd.
> 
> I have now just thought of something non/Brixton that I am DESPERATE to see if anyone remembers and I will have to start a thread.


 
I just remembered the comb lady was Victoria, not Patricia. Hope she's still around somewhere. Still got two of her glittery paintings of birds.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Yeah, how would you describe that sound?


 
It's definitely flap flap


----------



## Crispy (Jun 11, 2013)

fapflaps


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

Crispy said:


> fapflaps


 
/drops monacle in consomme


----------



## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Yeah, how would you describe that sound?


 

Slapping.
I recently got the attention of everyone in the Morleys Homewares department just by walking down the stairs.


----------



## twistedAM (Jun 11, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> It's definitely flap flap


 
But what if your feet get all sweaty? There's a squelchy sound before the flap/flop.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

In Asia, they don't flap or flop or flip.  They drag.

I'm not sure what sound describes a drag though


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

twistedAM said:


> But what if your feet get all sweaty? There's a squelchy sound before the flap/flop.


 
I wouldn't know as I don't have that problem.  I've only worn them on the beach.  The sound becomes different if you walk in them in water though.  There needs to be a word to describe that sound


----------



## klang (Jun 11, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> In Asia, they don't flap or flop or flip. They drag.
> 
> I'm not sure what sound describes a drag though


 
shhh-shhh.....shhh-shhh


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

littleseb said:


> shhh-shhh.....shhh-shhh


 
until the tide gets it and you lose it


----------



## Crispy (Jun 11, 2013)

Fssschclp-fsssschclps


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> well, you having a pop at 'hipsters' every time someone mentions 'gentrification'. Try substituting the word 'gay' everytime you type 'hipsters' in your posts and read em back to yourself. not so fucking right-on now, are we?


 
Are you trying hard for the "Urban's biggest idiot of the year award 2013" or summat?
"Gay" is a description of a state, "hipster" is a characterisation of a self-selecting identity group. The two are about as comparable as your mum and a hoover.

I bet you wear skinny jeans and ride a fixie, don't you?


----------



## King Biscuit Time (Jun 11, 2013)

There is no fucking excuse for wearing flip flops anywhere but at the beach, or near a swimming pool, or in communal showers. 

Just as there's no excuse for pissing in daft places. Except for when you've had about 10 pints and you cant find a bog anywhere.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Are you trying hard for the "Urban's biggest idiot of the year award 2013" or summat?
> "Gay" is a description of a state, "hipster" is a characterisation of a self-selecting identity group. The two are about as comparable as your mum and a hoover.
> 
> I bet you wear skinny jeans and ride a fixie, don't you?


 
how are 'hipsters' self selecting when the word is used in an entirely pejorative way by self-appointed arbiters of taste like you?

also - go fuck yourself.

mum jokes? really? cunt off.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I'd propose that the use of the verb "bray" in the OP suggests a certain.... economic group at least.


 
Donkey-owners?


----------



## xenon (Jun 11, 2013)

Favelado said:


> Yeah, how would you describe that sound?



I hate them, mainly for the same reason. I'd describe the sound as:
thwick, thwack, thwick, thwack.

*shudder*


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

to be fair, i'd happily wear a pair of 'thwick thwacks'


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> "Gay" is a description of a state, "hipster" is a characterisation of a self-selecting identity group. The two are about as comparable as your mum and a hoover.


 
Not deliberately self-selecting are they? I thought they were like goths in that no-one admits to actually being one (well maybe when they see the photos a few years later).


----------



## Favelado (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> The two are about as comparable as your mum and a hoover.


 
Well, actually I've heard.....


----------



## Favelado (Jun 11, 2013)

Havaiana flip-flops are the very best thing you can wear if you live in a city with a hot climate. Rarely any need to have them on in Brixton though.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> how are 'hipsters' self selecting when the word is used in an entirely pejorative way by self-appointed arbiters of taste like you?


 
Hmm, poor comprehension *and* poor logic. Well done!  The first part of your rant sentence has nothing to do with the second part.
1) Hipsters self-select by coming together in groups. That they don't call themselves "hipsters" is immaterial to the fact of their existence and their "herd instinct".
2) I'm not a self-appointed arbiter of taste, I'm someone commenting on a social phenomenon. The post of mine that you replied to says nothing perjorative about "hipsters".



> also - go fuck yourself.
> 
> mum jokes? really? cunt off.


 
If I'd made a "your mum" joke, I would have put a punch line. I mentioned your mother and a hoover as suitable alternatives to the usual apples and oranges. 

When brains were being handed out, did you think the sign said "drains", and ask for yours to be sluiced out?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

twistedAM said:


> You not been to Brixton Marina? It's a dry dock off Coldharbour Lane.


 
You mean the aquarium with the busted dinghy and trailer out back?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> more importantly - why do you give a fuck?


 
Wet feet in the veritable lakes of piss and puke?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

Dillinger4 said:


> tell tale sign


 
Of the End Times?


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

Crispy said:


> I have tried to skateboard in sturdy skating trainers. I dread to think how much worse it would have been in flipflops.


 
Traction, most likely.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> 1) Hipsters self-select by coming together in groups. That they don't call themselves "hipsters" is immaterial to the fact of their existence and their "herd instinct".


 
and how exactly are you identifying these "herds"? by they way "they" dress? behave? speak? Sounds a bit unfair, doesn't it? almost... discriminatory? What exactly is it about "these people" you take exception to?




ViolentPanda said:


> 2) I'm not a self-appointed arbiter of taste, I'm someone commenting on a social phenomenon. The post of mine that you replied to says nothing perjorative about "hipsters".


 
yer right - you're not. You're just going along with the limp-dicked "anti-a-group-of-people-we've-decided-we-dont-like-but-not-quite-sure-why" groupthink, horseshit that peppers this forum. 'social phenomenom'? you pompous arse.



ViolentPanda said:


> If I'd made a "your mum" joke, I would have put a punch line. I mentioned your mother and a hoover as suitable alternatives to the usual apples and oranges.
> 
> When brains were being handed out, did you think the sign said "drains", and ask for yours to be sluiced out?


 
pfff. that's just fucking weak.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> Not deliberately self-selecting are they? I thought they were like goths in that no-one admits to actually being one (well maybe when they see the photos a few years later).


 
No-one admits to being one, and yet somehow, in a way we don't yet understand, they manage to group together in clubs and pubs, just like Goths used to...


----------



## twistedAM (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> No-one admits to being one, and yet somehow, in a way we don't yet understand, they manage to group together in clubs and pubs, just like Goths used to...


Fucks sake, there's always been hipsters. It's just this new breed aren't exactly anti-establishment and seem more concerned with creating exciting new food brands and the like. Entrepreneurs in wacky garb. But there's no need to hate them for their appearance.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> and how exactly are you identifying these "herds"? by they way "they" dress? behave? speak? Sounds a bit unfair, doesn't it? almost... discriminatory? What exactly is it about "these people" you take exception to?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
I think you'd find, if you could pull your head out of where it usually resides for a moment, that there's plenty of articulation on various threads on this forum of what denotes a "hipster", and why they're somewhat unpopular.



> , horseshit that peppers this forum. 'social phenomenom'? you pompous arse.


 
As you like correcting the spelling of others, here's one for you: It's phenomenon with a "n" at the end. It doesn't end in an "m". 

What else is it but a social phenomenon? Call it a "sub-culture", it's still a social phenomenon. You being able to live with so little apparent ability to think is a social phenomenon.  Everything that happens within society is a social phenomenon. Try harder.




> pfff. that's just fucking weak.


 
But still stronger than your attempts at arguing, I fear.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

twistedAM said:


> Fucks sake, there's always been hipsters. It's just this new breed aren't exactly anti-establishment and seem more concerned with creating exciting new food brands and the like. Entrepreneurs in wacky garb. But there's no need to hate them for their appearance.


 
Who's "hating them for their appearance"?  Seems to me that any censure is generally in reference to actions, with ribbing about skinny jeans and cycle preferences coming far down the list after the serious stuff.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

> there's plenty of articulation on various threads on this forum of what denotes a "hipster", and why they're somewhat unpopular.


 
i know there is. THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, brainiac.

it seems "They" are a convenient scapegoat for your poorly conceived opinions about "gentrification". And it comes across as the same sort of lazy, stereotypical bullshit that would be called out in a heartbeat if it were applied to anyone else on here. The ironic thing is - "hipsters" don't really exist, at least not outside of your clearly limited, myopic experience, and the behaviors you attribute to "them" is only really being demonstrated by the likes of you - especially when it comes to your (and many others seeing as were discussing the forum as a whole) misguided claims of authenticity.

anyway - blaming 'hipsters' for ruining your precious fucking corner of london is like blaming santa claus for ruining christmas.


----------



## gabi (Jun 11, 2013)

Christ, chill out everyone


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

it smacks of the "acceptable face of discrimination", and for that reason alone, it can get to fuck.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

gabi said:


> Christ, chill out everyone


 
it has to be done. There probably hasn't been a thread on it for ages

or maybe a couple of days


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

yuppies out.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jun 11, 2013)

Slagging off hipsters is so over already


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

gabi said:


> Christ, chill out everyone


 
And some!


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

ha! says the fucking ringleader.


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> ha! says the fucking ringleader.


The "ringleader" of what, exactly?

I've been at pains to attribute the blame to both visitors and locals and didn't bring up hipsters once - but you seem to have lost complete control of your keyboard (and quite possibly all sense and logic) several posts ago. What are you ranting on about?


----------



## rutabowa (Jun 11, 2013)

repost but bears repeating:


----------



## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> 1) Hipsters self-select by coming together in groups.


 

Ever been to Love Muscle?


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> The "ringleader" of what, exactly?
> 
> I've been at pains to attribute the blame to both visitors and locals and didn't bring up hipsters once - but you seem to have lost complete control of your keyboard (and quite possibly all sense and logic) several posts ago. What are you ranting on about?


 

/eagerly awaits next 'hipsters in the villaaaage' rib tickler from yours truly.


----------



## ffsear (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Are you trying hard for the "Urban's biggest idiot of the year award 2013" or summat?
> "


 
thought i'd wrapped this one up already.   must try harder


----------



## bosie (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Are you trying hard for the "Urban's biggest idiot of the year award 2013" or summat?
> "Gay" is a description of a state, "hipster" is a characterisation of a self-selecting identity group. The two are about as comparable as your mum and a hoover.
> 
> I bet you wear skinny jeans and ride a fixie, don't you?


 
How very dare you! I am gay and I am certainly not a "state" - I am always immaculately well groomed.


----------



## leanderman (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Hipsters self-select by coming together in groups. That they don't call themselves "hipsters" is immaterial to the fact of their existence and their "herd instinct".


 
This is quite a contention!


----------



## teuchter (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> you seem to have lost complete control of your keyboard (and quite possibly all sense and logic) several posts ago. What are you ranting on about?


 

I like how you are encouraging everyone to chill out with your trademark understated, reconciliatory approach


----------



## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I like how you are encouraging everyone to chill out with your trademark understated, reconciliatory approach


I'd say it was a very calm response to someone who'd just accused me of being a "f_ucking ringleader_," but don't let that get in the way of your increasingly desperate attempts to stir things up.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> it smacks of the "acceptable face of discrimination", and for that reason alone, it can get to fuck.


 

First they came for the hipsters, but I did not speak out


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

Rushy said:


> Ever been to Love Muscle?


 
Not that sort of coming.


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> i know there is. THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, brainiac.
> 
> it seems "They" are a convenient scapegoat for your poorly conceived opinions about "gentrification". And it comes across as the same sort of lazy, stereotypical bullshit that would be called out in a heartbeat if it were applied to anyone else on here. The ironic thing is - "hipsters" don't really exist, at least not outside of your clearly limited, myopic experience, and the behaviors you attribute to "them" is only really being demonstrated by the likes of you - especially when it comes to your (and many others seeing as were discussing the forum as a whole) misguided claims of authenticity.
> 
> anyway - blaming 'hipsters' for ruining your precious fucking corner of london is like blaming santa claus for ruining christmas.


 
Instead of constructing an argument around your fondness for vituperation, how about doing one around what's actually been said, "Brainiac"?

As for "autheniticity", I don't need to claim authenticity.  I've lived within 3 miles of Lambeth Town Hall for 45 out of my 50 years, the last 17 of them within half a mile. My "authenticity" (whatever that's supposed to mean" gets proclaimed every time I open my gob.
Do please keep spewing your comedy bile, though. It's almost entertaining.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> it smacks of the "acceptable face of discrimination", and for that reason alone, it can get to fuck.


 
Ooh! Is it a "gateway" discrimination? First you mock the "hipsters", and then the next thing you know, you've become a racist misogynist?


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## The39thStep (Jun 11, 2013)

Is there a ratepayers association in Brixton that peeps could join to try and stop this sort of behaviour?


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

leanderman said:


> This is quite a contention!


 
Not really. Basic identity theory. Even (IIRC) Erving Goffman, the "father" of modern identity theory among other things (not identity *politics*, I hasten to add) remarked on how seemingly disparate people with shared identity facets tended to coalesce into distinct social groups, even if they don't self-define as members (I think he based some of his original ideas on observing '50s youth and young adult cultures).

I wonder if pissflaps will think that my knowledge of Goffman is "pompous" and/or inauthentic for a native south-Londoner?


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## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

The39thStep said:


> Is there a ratepayers association in Brixton that peeps could join to try and stop this sort of behaviour?


 
It depends which type of bilious regurgitation you are trying to stop.


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

The39thStep said:


> Is there a ratepayers association in Brixton that peeps could join to try and stop this sort of behaviour?


 
Only for those who actually pay rates, i.e. local businesses.


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## The39thStep (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Only for those who actually pay rates, i.e. local businesses.


 
Brixton residents association?  Could be the next IWCA type project


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

bosie said:


> How very dare you! I am gay and I am certainly not a "state" - I am always immaculately well groomed.


 
I'm sure you are. The person you've named yourself after always was. Please assure me, though, that you don't wear a cravat. Cravats are the neckwear of the Devil!


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

The39thStep said:


> Brixton residents association? Could be the next IWCA type project


 
Possibly without that name forming an acronym, though. People might get the wrong idea...


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## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Not really. Basic identity theory. Even (IIRC) Erving Goffman, the "father" of modern identity theory among other things (not identity *politics*, I hasten to add) remarked on how seemingly disparate people with shared identity facets tended to coalesce into distinct social groups, even if they don't self-define as members (I think he based some of his original ideas on observing '50s youth and young adult cultures).
> 
> I wonder if pissflaps will think that my knowledge of Goffman is "pompous" and/or inauthentic for a native south-Londoner?


the point i was making, which you seemed to have side stepped with a bit of second hand pontificating, is that you , and others here, seem to go out of your way to hastily point fingers at some quixotic subculture of your own devising in order to make sense of the changes happening around you, and in doing so you are to all intents and purposes guilty of the very failing you imbue your fantasy villains with. It's as flawed as it is sad.

anyhoo. imma going home.

tara


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## Rushy (Jun 11, 2013)

The39thStep said:


> Brixton residents association? Could be the next IWCA type project


 
Actually I was wondering whether some kind of residents group specifically focussed just on tackling issues caused by the increase in late night shenanigans might be a good idea. I get the impression that licensing requires late night management plans from new venues but these are box ticking exercises and little is done to see that they are implemented or effective. Also, I have found that there are people complaining about the same things individually and the council finds these complaints easy to ignore and fob off. I have often been told that I am the only person complaining about nuisance from a particular venue, only to find out that others have also been told the same thing.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 11, 2013)

When's the next thread start?


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> the point i was making, which you seemed to have side stepped with a bit of second hand pontificating...


 
It's called "context". You know, that thing you keep avoiding in your rush to play the man rather than the ball. 


> ...is that you , and others here, seem to go out of your way to hastily point fingers at some quixotic subculture of your own devising in order to make sense of the changes happening around you, and in doing so you are to all intents and purposes guilty of the very failing you imbue your fantasy villains with. It's as flawed as it is sad.


 
Except that I haven't devised any such "quixotic subculture", and if you had half a clue of what you were on about, you'd know that my explication of "the changes going on" around me are somewhat more nuanced than blaming a single loose social grouping for what has occurred in Brixton, and *has* been occurring throughout inner south London for at least the last 30 years.


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## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> It's called "context". You know, that thing you keep avoiding in your rush to play the man rather than the ball.


 


> I bet you wear skinny jeans and ride a fixie, don't you?


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## ViolentPanda (Jun 11, 2013)

Cool. You edited out the  smilie.  Of course, leaving it in would have fucked over the message you're attempting to convey, wouldn't it?


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## editor (Jun 11, 2013)

I don't mind the night economy growing a bit. I'd just like the people enjoying it to show a little more respect for the workers, and for the council/bars/whoever to provide more public toilets at night.


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## pissflaps (Jun 11, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Cool. You edited out the  smilie. Of course, leaving it in would have fucked over the message you're attempting to convey, wouldn't it?


 
it's still a nasty little stab at ad hominem any way you want to slice it, chuckles.


----------



## Yelkcub (Jun 11, 2013)

editor said:


> I don't mind the night economy growing a bit. I'd just like the people enjoying it to show a little more respect for the workers, and for the council/bars/whoever to provide more public toilets at night.



You're unlikely to get pissed people to behave differently to how they do everywhere else. Council is definitely the way forward


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## Pickman's model (Jun 11, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> When's the next thread start?


 it departs at 2147 from platform 3, calling at disbelief, derail, bickering and adho-minem before terminating at stin keebin


----------



## Remus Harbank (Jun 12, 2013)

whatever one's take on ‘hipsters’ theirs is a purely derivative phenomenon. The name itself is recycled, their clothes are not really very original, they are streamlined consumers, nothing more, albeit privileged ones. They don't see themselves as ‘hipsters’ just as yuppies never saw themselves as yuppies. Actually, the two are pretty much the same type of phenomenon – utterly fabricated, artifical and contrived.

All that aside, getting back to the point about over privileged people coming to Brixton and behaving much worse than when they lived with mom and dad in Berkshire, this is not going to get better – they get their lack of manners from their entitled folks. The rest, the others who piss and shit onto the pavement, if they are local they tend to be either from a socially deprived background or they simply feel that nothing matters to them anymore because they don't matter to anyone. These two streams of culture clash in Brixton (or the East End), and the result is not pretty.

Never mind though – the way the economy is going a few years from now many of today's hipsters will sleep in doorways, shivering in their torn skinny jeans or what's left of them, hugging a dead piece of titanium that once was a working macbook.


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## 8ball (Jun 12, 2013)

I'm never sure who is a hipster and who isn't - it seems to cover:

i) Indie types with funny, often asymmetric hair
ii) Men with big glasses and moustaches
iii) Men with funny beards and lumberjack shirts
iv) Any women seen hanging around with the above two types 
v) Women in home-made knitwear with second-hand bags
vi) Anyone dressed really smartly except for scruffy shoes and a scruffy hat
vii) Anyone who looks like they have a dressing up box and has forgotten to get changes into normal garb before going out


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## Crispy (Jun 12, 2013)

8ball said:


> I'm never sure who is a hipster and who isn't - it seems to cover:
> 
> i) Indie types with funny, often asymmetric hair
> ii) Men with big glasses and moustaches
> ...


ie. fashion
YOUNG PEOPLE LOOK STUPID. THEY'RE YOUNG PEOPLE.


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## Crispy (Jun 12, 2013)

Older stupid looking people have no excuse, however


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## 8ball (Jun 12, 2013)

Crispy said:


> ie. fashion
> YOUNG PEOPLE LOOK STUPID. THEY'RE YOUNG PEOPLE.


 
So does hipster mean 'any young person who looks stupid'? 

(not that I said anyone looks stupid in the above categories)


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## Crispy (Jun 12, 2013)

8ball said:


> So does hipster mean 'any young person who looks stupid'?
> 
> (not that I said anyone looks stupid in the above categories)


Fuck knows what it means. I don't think anyone can agree. Not even in the porn: "I know it when I see it" way.
It's certainly not something that anyone self-identifies as.


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## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

a hipster is someone with a better haircut than you.


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## colacubes (Jun 12, 2013)

Everyone's a hipster to me in that case


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## Manter (Jun 12, 2013)

Do hipsters have good haircuts? Or just complicated ones that need lots of upkeep?


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## Rushy (Jun 12, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> a hipster is someone with a better haircut than you.


 
Geek Pie.


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## Rushy (Jun 12, 2013)

Remus Harbank said:


> All that aside, getting back to the point about over privileged people coming to Brixton and behaving much worse than when they lived with mom and dad in Berkshire, this is not going to get better – they get their lack of manners from their entitled folks. The rest, the others who piss and shit onto the pavement, if they are local they tend to be either from a socially deprived background or they simply feel that nothing matters to them anymore because they don't matter to anyone. These two streams of culture clash in Brixton (or the East End), and the result is not pretty.


 

So rich people piss in the street because they are have an innate sense of entitlement and poor people piss in the street because they do not.

I'd wager you'll find that a large proportion of young people visiting Brixton fall into neither the rich nor poor category and many are coming up from places like Croydon and Bromley for their Big Night Out. Which is what the last Town Centre Manager was trying to promote.


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## 8ball (Jun 12, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Fuck knows what it means. I don't think anyone can agree. Not even in the porn: "I know it when I see it" way.
> It's certainly not something that anyone self-identifies as.


 
It's almost like an evolution of a Barley that has cross-bred with a Grandaddy fan.  Sometimes.

I watched this, which seems to explain some anti-hipster hostility.


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## Winot (Jun 12, 2013)

Remus Harbank said:


> two streams


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## 8ball (Jun 12, 2013)

Winot said:


>


 
Protonic reversal.


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## leanderman (Jun 12, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Fuck knows what it means. I don't think anyone can agree. Not even in the porn: "I know it when I see it" way.
> It's certainly not something that anyone self-identifies as.



Because we've moved on from the days of hating people because of their nationality, skin tone or faith, hipsters provide a safe and cathartic target for our residual bile.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 12, 2013)

leanderman said:


> Because we've moved on from the days of hating people because of their nationality, skin tone or faith


no we haven't


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## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

leanderman said:


> Because we've moved on from the days of hating people because of their nationality, skin tone or faith, hipsters provide a safe and cathartic target for our residual bile.


 
im putting that in my CV.


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## 8ball (Jun 12, 2013)

leanderman said:


> Because we've moved on from the days of hating people because of their nationality, skin tone or faith, hipsters provide a safe and cathartic target for our residual bile.


 
They are the derivatives traders of the world of cultural capital.


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## leanderman (Jun 12, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> no we haven't



By 'we', I mean this forum! Although I admit to occasional anti-papishness


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## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

i find it amusing when 'hipster hating' is employed to reinforce purchasing decisions.

see: Apple products, bicycles, hats...


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## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> i find it amusing when 'hipster hating' is employed to reinforce purchasing decisions.
> 
> see: Apple products, bicycles, hats...


Seeing as it's clearly a pet subject of yours, could you perhaps point me in the direction of all these 'hipster hating' threads, posts and posters because I can't see many _at all. _


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## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

you could always just type the word 'hipster' into the search engine... you know, like this:

http://www.urban75.net/forums/search/22539899/?q=hipster&o=date&c[node]=47

have fun!


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## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> you could always just type the word 'hipster' into the search engine... you know, like this:
> 
> http://www.urban75.net/forums/search/22539899/?q=hipster&o=date&c[node]=47
> 
> have fun!


And that brings up a series of results which shows you to be the person going on about hipsters more than anyone else recently, while hardly any of the remainder could be described as 'hipster haters'.

Want to try again?


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## EastEnder (Jun 12, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Older stupid looking people have no excuse, however


Careful now, that's a large swathe of urban you're blithely criticising.


----------



## Kanda (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> And that brings up a series of results which shows you to be the person going on about hipsters more than anyone else recently, while hardly any of the remainder could be described as 'hipster haters'.
> 
> Want to try again?


 
Only really the first 22 out of 320 odd results. Because of this thread obviously.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> And that brings up a series of results which shows you to be the person going on about hipsters more than anyone else recently, while hardly any of the remainder could be described as 'hipster haters'.
> 
> Want to try again?


 
start from the back then, you disingenuous twit.


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

Kanda said:


> Only really the first 22 out of 320 odd results. Because of this thread obviously.


The clue being the use of the word "recently" in my post.


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> start from the back then, you disingenuous twit.


You're making the claim so why not back it up, preferably without having to roll back the sands of time?
Or you could just admit that you're exaggerating.


----------



## teuchter (Jun 12, 2013)

Can someone do a venn diagram with hipsters, yuppies, trustafarians, crusties, shoreditch twats and toffs on it please?

Maybe it could then be placed in the FAQ so that we have a common reference point which would simplify a lot of these discussions.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> You're making the claim so why not back it up, preferably without having to roll back the sands of time?
> Or you could just admit that you're exaggerating.


 
oh i'm sorry - i didnt realise there was a statute of limitations on being a judgemental twat. hey ho. here's a deep fried slice of gold from... rummages through the bag... you! it would seem.

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...er-news-apr-2012.291319/page-13#post-11126328


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## snowy_again (Jun 12, 2013)

"I don't dislike all hipsters" it's like shooting fish in a barrel. 

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/vice-goes-to-brixton.305574/page-2#post-11927435
http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/vice-goes-to-brixton.305574/#post-11924475
http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...e-shop-coldharbour-lane.305448/#post-11916004

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...-on-brixton-road.303121/page-11#post-12092449


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## teuchter (Jun 12, 2013)

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/break-ins-at-brixton-village.304234/#post-11836977


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## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

oof.


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## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

snowy_again said:


> "I don't dislike all hipsters" it's like shooting fish in a barrel.


<edit: actually, I can't be bothered with this idiot>


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

teuchter said:


> http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/break-ins-at-brixton-village.304234/#post-11836977


I understand after your recent glorious failures you're still desperate to finally score a goal in the right end of the pitch but WTF has that to do with anything?


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

teuchter said:


> Can someone do a venn diagram with hipsters, yuppies, trustafarians, crusties, shoreditch twats and toffs on it please?
> 
> Maybe it could then be placed in the FAQ so that we have a common reference point which would simplify a lot of these discussions.


 
You look like you've got time on your hands, so why not give it a go yourself?


----------



## teuchter (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> I understand after your recent glorious failures you're still desperate to finally score a goal in the right end of the pitch but WTF has that to do with anything?


 
I suppose it was superfluous to the copious evidence already presented in the preceding two posts.


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

teuchter said:


> I suppose it was superfluous to the copious evidence already presented in the preceding two posts.


If you think those posts add up to me categorically stating, "I hate all hipsters" then you're on track for another glorious failure. But let's get back to your post. What was that supposed to prove (past the fact that you're got something of an obsessive attraction to me on these boards)?


----------



## leanderman (Jun 12, 2013)

teuchter said:


> Can someone do a venn diagram with hipsters, yuppies, trustafarians, crusties, shoreditch twats and toffs on it please?
> .



The vast majority of the incoming undesirables listed above are white Anglos I'd guess. 

Which is strange, because the 2011 census shows the number of white Anglos in Lambeth fell from 50pc of the total population to 39pc over the preceeding decade. 

That's a huge fall. 22 per cent. 

Or, around 150,000 falling 33,000 to 117,000. 

Which supports the idea that the hipsters etc are mainly day-trippers.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

no one is suggesting you 'hate all hipsters' - stop putting words in your own mouth you egomaniac. What has been suggested is that you, along with others here, are prone to indulging in some pretty piss-poor, schoolyard finger pointing at people who to all intents and purposes, comport themselves in a way you disapprove of, and it's as fucking annoying as it is intellectually lazy. pack it the fuck in, will you?

cheers.


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> no one is suggesting you 'hate all hipsters' - stop putting words in your own mouth you egomaniac.


Perhaps you missed this post:





snowy_again said:


> "I don't dislike all hipsters" it's like shooting fish in a barrel.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Jun 12, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Fuck knows what it means. I don't think anyone can agree. Not even in the porn: "I know it when I see it" way.
> It's certainly not something that anyone self-identifies as.


 
The key thing about hipsters, that I think we can surely all agree on, is that they're absolutely definitely NOT US. 


(Other discussions of gentrification being a bit more uncomfortable).


----------



## Rushy (Jun 12, 2013)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> The key thing about hipsters, that I think we can surely all agree on, is that they're absolutely definitely NOT US.


 
Speak for yourself. I am jolly well hip, isn't it.


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

Rushy said:


> Speak for yourself. I am jolly well hip, isn't it.


 
I can still cut a rug to Lonnie Donegan, you know.


----------



## pissflaps (Jun 12, 2013)

/drops monacle in consomme


----------



## Rushy (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> I can still cut a rug to Lonnie Donegan, you know.


 
You win. I am hip but you are clearly hipperer.


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

Rushy said:


> You win. I am hip but you are clearly hipperer.


 
Ah, but can you dance _ironically_? I must admit I haven't mastered that yet (or understand how it is achieved).


----------



## teuchter (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> If you think those posts add up to me categorically stating, "I hate all hipsters"


 

Nope, I don't. I'm pretty sure that anyone reading the thread understands the significance of those posts in the context of the general discussion going on here. I'll not waste time trying to explain it to you, whether or not your claim not to understand "WTF it has to do with anything" is genuine.


----------



## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> Ah, but can you dance _ironically_? I must admit I haven't mastered that yet (or understand how it is achieved).


 
Just don't look like you're enjoying it, or putting in any effort.


----------



## twistedAM (Jun 12, 2013)

editor said:


> Ah, but can you dance _ironically_? I must admit I haven't mastered that yet (or understand how it is achieved).


 
As an aside. I had a mate a long time ago who, when a tune came on that he didn't like, would stay on the floor and dance to a tune in his head. Helped cut down his bar bill significantly.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> it's still a nasty little stab at ad hominem any way you want to slice it, chuckles.


 
Only if you're a dick, "chuckles".


----------



## 8ball (Jun 12, 2013)

I'm so hip I can barely see over my pelvis.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

Manter said:


> Do hipsters have good haircuts? Or just complicated ones that need lots of upkeep?


 
A good question.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

8ball said:


> I'm so hip I can barely see over my pelvis.


 
That's not "hip", mate, that's "deformed".


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

Rushy said:


> So rich people piss in the street because they are have an innate sense of entitlement and poor people piss in the street because they do not.
> 
> I'd wager you'll find that a large proportion of young people visiting Brixton fall into neither the rich nor poor category and many are coming up from places like Croydon and Bromley for their Big Night Out. Which is what the last Town Centre Manager was trying to promote.


 
Sad, for those of us who can remember going to Croydon for our "big night out" in the late '70s/early '80s.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

teuchter said:


> Can someone do a venn diagram with hipsters, yuppies, trustafarians, crusties, shoreditch twats and toffs on it please?
> 
> Maybe it could then be placed in the FAQ so that we have a common reference point which would simplify a lot of these discussions.


 
Please, everyone knows it's "Hoxton Twats" and "Shoreditch wankers".


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

8ball said:


> It's almost like an evolution of a Barley that has cross-bred with a Grandaddy fan. Sometimes.
> 
> I watched this, which seems to explain some anti-hipster hostility.


 
Can't be an evolution of the above. Not enough plaid and rigger boots.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

Rushy said:


> Speak for yourself. I am jolly well hip, isn't it.


 
That sounds more "Welsh" than "hip", to be fair.


----------



## editor (Jun 12, 2013)

8ball said:


> I watched this, which seems to explain some anti-hipster hostility.


Let me embed that for you.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

twistedAM said:


> As an aside. I had a mate a long time ago who, when a tune came on that he didn't like, would stay on the floor and dance to a tune in his head. Helped cut down his bar bill significantly.


 
I have to ask: Did he ever get escorted off the dancefloor by men offering him a fine new canvas jacket?


----------



## Rushy (Jun 12, 2013)

[quote="ViolentPanda, post: 12311115, member: River Island ]Sad, for those of us who can remember going to Croydon for our "big night out" in the late '70s/early '80s. [/quote]
I only visited Croydon for Top Man Burton and River Island in the 80s. With my Mum.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Jun 12, 2013)

Rushy said:


> I only visited Croydon for Top Man Burton and River Island in the 80s. With my Mum.


 
Think yourself very lucky, young man!


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## el-ahrairah (Jun 12, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> a hipster is someone with a MORE EXPENSIVE haircut than you.


 

corrected.


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## Rushy (Jun 12, 2013)

ViolentPanda said:


> Think yourself very lucky, young man!


Blimey. That's what she said.


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## T & P (Jun 12, 2013)

If we cannot poke fun at chavs, then hipster-bashing should be a no-no too. Just saying, like....


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## ska invita (Jun 12, 2013)

the best place to piss in the "street" in brixton is the little ex-car park on coldharbour opposite the barrier building where theres a mural - lots of shrubbery
here to be precise: https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=coldharbour lane&hl=en&ll=51.461855,-0.107868&spn=0.009906,0.025041&hnear=Coldharbour Ln, London SE5 9QH, United Kingdom&gl=uk&t=h&z=16&layer=c&cbll=51.46204,-0.110544&panoid=ikc-OFV15kt26fEcRMUYNA&cbp=12,268.1,,0,3.96


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## Gromit (Jun 12, 2013)

8ball said:


> The entirety of London seems to smell of a mixture of piss and petrol, but I guess Brixton is very slanted towards the piss these days.
> 
> How about a few of those outdoor concrete urinals like they have in Holland?
> 
> edit: this one looks like plastic, actually



They had them at Embankment once upon a time. I'm curious as to why they don't any more.


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## twistedAM (Jun 13, 2013)

That looks close to a perfectly decent canal


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## Nanker Phelge (Jun 13, 2013)

I'm glad I read all that.


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## TopCat (Jun 13, 2013)

The lack of toilets is a reason for indignation not drunks pissing in the streets.


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## Rushy (Jun 13, 2013)

TopCat said:


> The lack of toilets is a reason for indignation not drunks pissing in the streets.


 
The McDs arrangement should be better publicised - that's for sure.


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## TopCat (Jun 13, 2013)

Rushy said:


> The McDs arrangement should be better publicised - that's for sure.


 
McD's loos are shit as well.


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## pissflaps (Jun 13, 2013)

TopCat said:


> McD's loos are shit as well.


 
any port in a shitstorm... so to speak.


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## TopCat (Jun 13, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> any port in a shitstorm... so to speak.


 
They really are bad. Often lockedup, when they are open the cubicles don't lock properly, piss on the floor, awful smell of fat, no where to skin up.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 13, 2013)

TopCat said:


> They really are bad. Often lockedup, when they are open the cubicles don't lock properly, piss on the floor, awful smell of fat, *no where to skin up*.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 13, 2013)

TopCat said:


> The lack of toilets is a reason for indignation not drunks pissing in the streets.


if it was possible to have urinals and public toilets in the 1870s why is it so very difficult to have them in the 21st century?


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## Manter (Jun 13, 2013)

Gromit said:


> They had them at Embankment once upon a time. I'm curious as to why they don't any more.


 Another solution for blokes, that doesn't help women....  Small wonder I can last a whole car journey, even heavily pregnant, when the blokes in the car seem to need to stop every other other service station.    I must be conditioned to be part camel


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## pissflaps (Jun 13, 2013)

i had the misfortune of having to make an emergency pit-stop in soho's famous soho last night. 50p for the pleasure of using a public convenience where the fog of concentrated ammonia that permeated the air literally made yer eyes water. a fucking hell hole.

and you know how i feel about hell holes.


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## Pickman's model (Jun 13, 2013)

pissflaps said:


> i had the misfortune of having to make an emergency pit-stop in soho's famous soho last night. 50p for the pleasure of using a public convenience where the fog of concentrated ammonia that permeated the air literally made yer eyes water. a fucking hell hole.
> 
> and you know how i feel about hell holes.


soho's famous soho?


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## Crispy (Jun 13, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> soho's famous soho?


famouser than other sohos


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## pissflaps (Jun 13, 2013)

it's so so, tbh.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 13, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> if it was possible to have urinals and public toilets in the 1870s why is it so very difficult to have them in the 21st century?


 
Maybe people weren't leaving all their drugs gear in them then?


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## TruXta (Jun 13, 2013)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Maybe people weren't leaving all their drugs gear in them then?


No need, most stuff was legal anyways.


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## leanderman (Jun 13, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> if it was possible to have urinals and public toilets in the 1870s why is it so very difficult to have them in the 21st century?



Exactly!


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## Rushy (Jun 13, 2013)

Manter said:


> Another solution for blokes, that doesn't help women.... Small wonder I can last a whole car journey, even heavily pregnant, when the blokes in the car seem to need to stop every other other service station. I must be conditioned to be part camel


 



> Their bodies conserve water in just about every way imaginable. For instance, when they pee, their urine contains very little water. What comes out ends up being a pasty substance that has about the consistency of syrup. On the other end of things, their feces comes out almost completely dried out and can be used right away for making fires or the like.


​You are full of surprises.


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## teuchter (Jun 13, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> if it was possible to have urinals and public toilets in the 1870s why is it so very difficult to have them in the 21st century?


 
Presumably because in the 1870s you could pay someone next to nothing to look after them.


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## Manter (Jun 13, 2013)

Rushy said:


> ​​You are full of surprises.


 

If I'd known before I could have savved a fortune on firewood...


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## Pickman's model (Jun 13, 2013)

teuchter said:


> Presumably because in the 1870s you could pay someone next to nothing to look after them.


nowadays we've got you. you could look after one and we could pay you in urine.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 13, 2013)

leanderman said:


> Exactly!


 
and there were probably loads more pubs then to use, but no McShitey's/Kenfuckys


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## Gromit (Jun 13, 2013)

Manter said:


> Another solution for blokes, that doesn't help women....  Small wonder I can last a whole car journey, even heavily pregnant, when the blokes in the car seem to need to stop every other other service station.    I must be conditioned to be part camel



I've seen women use them.


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## _angel_ (Jun 13, 2013)

Manter said:


> Another solution for blokes, that doesn't help women.... Small wonder I can last a whole car journey, even heavily pregnant, when the blokes in the car seem to need to stop every other other service station. I must be conditioned to be part camel


 
Congrats! How far on you? Towards the end of pregnancies I am dashing from one loo to another.
It's not just your bladder that gets affected either.


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## Manter (Jun 13, 2013)

_angel_ said:


> Congrats! How far on you? Towards the end of pregnancies I am dashing from one loo to another.
> It's not just your bladder that gets affected either.



Thank you  31 weeks... I waddle!!less said about pregnancy side effects the better- evolution has a way to go....


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