# This beach is full of sand and I want something done about it



## mauvais (Jan 12, 2012)

So it's a windy day in the shires, and an old man walks into an estate agent.

Old man: "I'd like to buy a house please"

Estate agent: "Certainly sir - what kind of a house are you looking for?"

Old man: "I'm not bothered in the slightest, any house will do, except for one thing"

Estate agent: "What's that?"

Old man: "I really *hate* SAND"

Estate agent: "OK sir, well we *do* have this house by the beach"

Old man: "And will there be any SAND there?"

Estate agent: "No sir"

Old man: "I'll take it!"

...

Old man: "AAARRRGGGHHHHHH"

http://www.blackpoolgazette.co.uk/news/local/dunes_are_making_our_lives_a_misery_1_4135669



> Tony Denye, 62, is also having his roof replaced in order to clear out the sand which has built-up underneath the tiles.
> 
> He told The Gazette: “When the sand gets blown away it comes at my house and I don’t think the council know how bad the situation is. I have got tonnes of sand in my back garden.
> 
> “I pay £30 to have the sand removed every time there’s a storm, but it comes back on a regular basis.”


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## quimcunx (Jan 12, 2012)

Is this not an issue of houses being built where there were dunes and that dunes form because of sand being blown around, rather like it is doing in their gardens?


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## trashpony (Jan 12, 2012)

Fucking sand. My house is full of fucking sand. Bastard bastard stuff


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## mauvais (Jan 12, 2012)

The dunes are still there and always have been. I grew up there - sand everywhere, all the time.

The houses have been there for twenty years as well.


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## trashpony (Jan 12, 2012)

If you live near the beach, there is sand. You can go 'fuck' a lot but if you complain to the council they will go 'hahahahahayoudipshit' a lot too.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jan 12, 2012)

Hm, a bit like people moving into a road with a pub and complaining about the noise of people drinking outside


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## quimcunx (Jan 12, 2012)

mauvais said:


> The dunes are still there and always have been. I grew up there - sand everywhere, all the time.



I don't think it is wise to build houses in sand dunes - to try and 'reclaim'  sand dunes for building on.   That amount of sand would be annoying to most people.


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## lizzieloo (Jan 12, 2012)

How the hell did that development get planning permission?


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## Crispy (Jan 12, 2012)

What a stupid place to build houses. Totally fucked with just a little bit of sea level rise.


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## quimcunx (Jan 12, 2012)

Also


> Dale Marsh, 74, added: “*At one point the dunes used to be cut out* but not anymore. It’s such a pain trying to clean it up and it’s back again next week.



Whatever ''cut out'' means.


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## Espresso (Jan 12, 2012)

You're not allowed to sweep it up and trundle it back to the beach, either. That's illegal flytipping, and you'll be done for it.
Mind you, even if you weren't likely to get done for it, it would be like painting The Forth Bridge.


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## trashpony (Jan 12, 2012)

I am up the hill from the sea. All the upsides, none of those pesky sea-creatures-in-the-dining-room downsides

I am v wary of dunes. They are shapeshifting mofos


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## killer b (Jan 12, 2012)

the MiL lives in st annes (not far from blackpool), and tells me that it's generally accepted that theres extra upkeep on all the houses round there because of the sand. it's never occurred to me before she mentioned it though, so i suppose if you're moving to a seaside town you wouldn't necessarily expect it.

they seem to be complaining that the council used to maintain the dunes and no longer do though - that seems a reasonable complaint?


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## lizzieloo (Jan 12, 2012)

quimcunx said:


> Also
> 
> Whatever ''cut out'' means.



How doesn't it come up in searches or surveys? anyone with an ounce of sense knows that dunes move.


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## mauvais (Jan 12, 2012)

Crispy said:


> What a stupid place to build houses. Totally fucked with just a little bit of sea level rise.


You have to lose quite a bit of beach before that happens. You can see the tide marks on the map, although what time of year I don't know: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=1+bea...=ohEVfkJ70ZU-rCUmkrPFbw&cbp=11,311.32,,0,2.81

Still fairly stupid though. Plus all the other ones they built on the flood plains around there.



quimcunx said:


> Also
> 
> Whatever ''cut out'' means.


No idea. There's sand _everywhere_ though, dunes or no dunes. Blackpool's got a sea wall with no dunes and it's the same. That's what comes of living by the beach, by the Irish Sea.


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## lizzieloo (Jan 12, 2012)

dp


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## mauvais (Jan 12, 2012)

Espresso said:


> You're not allowed to sweep it up and trundle it back to the beach, either. That's illegal flytipping, and you'll be done for it.
> Mind you, even if you weren't likely to get done for it, it would be like painting The Forth Bridge.


I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to take sand either, so it's probably theft with an element of entrapment.


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## mauvais (Jan 12, 2012)

killer b said:


> the MiL lives in st annes (not far from blackpool), and tells me that it's generally accepted that theres extra upkeep on all the houses round there because of the sand. it's never occurred to me before she mentioned it though, so i suppose if you're moving to a seaside town you wouldn't necessarily expect it


Then you are a fool, a fool I tell you. Sand, sand, sand, twenty five hours a day. What's for tea mum? Ooh, sand again.


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## killer b (Jan 12, 2012)

yeah, people _are_ dicks.


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## marty21 (Jan 12, 2012)

Man buys house near the beach and complains about sand


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## purenarcotic (Jan 13, 2012)

Hah, what a numpty the man is.


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## Santino (Jan 13, 2012)

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything's soft... and smooth...


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