# Movember - enforced work charidee "fun"...



## Jon-of-arc (Oct 30, 2012)

I'll preface my quick moan by stating that I'm not specifically against the concept of "movember". As a fundraising tool for charity, it seems to have been very effective, and as a way of raising awareness of ball cancer, I guess it doesn't hurt.  Ask me to sponsor you, and I guess I'll chuck a fiver in. But, insisting I take part? Ffs, with a capital FUCK.

But that's what's happening in my office, right now. My boss, and the usual suspects, are strongly suggesting that I do it. And it's really not my thing. I don't go in for aesthetic stylising. I've got a strange enough face, without doing any thing to further highlight its innate oddness. I will just feel a twat.  For a whole month.  

But the pressure from these cunts is pretty strong. I've thought of growing a hitler 'tache in protest, but it would probably go over their heads.  

I need an out. Suggestions?

Or am I just being a moody spoil sport?


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## Maurice Picarda (Oct 30, 2012)

Hitler tache which protrudes over people's heads, like a hairy gazebo? Do it.


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## Badgers (Oct 30, 2012)

I feel your pain PP


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## tar1984 (Oct 30, 2012)

If everyone got sponsored to grow hitler taches I bet they'd raise a lot more money


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## cesare (Oct 30, 2012)

Say you'll wear a red nose for the whole month instead?

*runs*


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## QueenOfGoths (Oct 30, 2012)

Say you had a terrible chin accident during puberty and you can't grow a beard. Then cry.


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## Mation (Oct 30, 2012)

One of those horrid situations in which, despite having perfectly good reasons for not wanting to take part in something, you (at least feel like) you'll look like a cunt if you don't. Annoying.

Offer to be the official movember photographer/progress chart maker/writer-upper for newsletter/some other thing you can do and wouldn't mind, that shows you're willing to join in?


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## silverfish (Oct 30, 2012)

How about engaging a bit of free will and just saying no you don't want to do it


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## DotCommunist (Oct 30, 2012)

Tell them you've shaved your pubes and will be dreadlocking the growback by mid november.Invite them to monitor the progress.


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## belboid (Oct 30, 2012)

I work for a community health charity. I am all but obliged to join in.  The only thing that has made this bearable is the fact that the boss has refused. So the fact that everyone else _is doing_ shows him up as a twat. A bit.


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## lizzieloo (Oct 30, 2012)

It's sexist, that's what it is.


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## harpo (Oct 30, 2012)

Tell them you're prone to folliculitis and will get an 'orrible pustulent infection which will necessitate being off work.


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## DotCommunist (Oct 30, 2012)

belboid said:


> I work for a community health charity. I am all but obliged to join in. The only thing that has made this bearable is the fact that the boss has refused. So the fact that everyone else _is doing_ shows him up as a twat. A bit.


 

A freind who has since decamped to canada bore the enforced movember by growing a long ming the merciless style upper lip foliage. And, I suspect, waxing it. By novembers end he could have passed for an ancient matial arts teacher from a secret temple


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## DotCommunist (Oct 30, 2012)

lizzieloo said:


> It's sexist, that's what it is.


 

Grow a protest tache then. I grow boobs for breast cancer awareness every year. Solidarity!


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## belboid (Oct 30, 2012)

lizzieloo said:


> It's sexist, that's what it is.


I'd happily swap you for Race for Life



DotCommunist said:


> A freind who has since decamped to canada bore the enforced movember by growing a long ming the merciless style upper lip foliage. And, I suspect, waxing it. By novembers end he could have passed for an ancient matial arts teacher from a secret temple


I am tempted by this (or by the Charlie Chaplin), but suspect that whatever I grow, it'll just look shit.  And ginger.


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## colacubes (Oct 30, 2012)

lizzieloo said:


> It's sexist, that's what it is.


 
Pffft - I'm going to grow my bush for the whole of November.  My bearded clam will be the toast of the town


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## equationgirl (Oct 30, 2012)

nipsla said:


> Pffft - I'm going to grow my bush for the whole of November. My bearded clam will be the toast of the town


Are you going to do a progress blog with pictures?


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## colacubes (Oct 30, 2012)

equationgirl said:


> Are you going to do a progress blog with pictures?


 
I haven't got a job at the moment so I'll need something to keep me busy


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## equationgirl (Oct 30, 2012)

nipsla said:


> I haven't got a job at the moment so I'll need something to keep me busy


Nice


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## twentythreedom (Oct 30, 2012)

Movember, mo' problemz


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## DotCommunist (Oct 30, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> Movember, mo' problemz


 

If you got follicle failures I feel bad for you son
But I got 99 problems and the Mo aint one


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## stuff_it (Oct 30, 2012)

nipsla said:


> I haven't got a job at the moment so I'll need something to keep me busy


I will grow a hitler tache on the top of my chuff, with pictures.


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## editor (Oct 30, 2012)

lizzieloo said:


> It's sexist, that's what it is.


Probably racialscist too.


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## Jon-of-arc (Oct 30, 2012)

silverfish said:


> How about engaging a bit of free will and just saying no you don't want to do it



The problem with this iiii-isssss...

Firstly, I don't work in a place with lots of free spirits, I work in a medium sized private sector cube farm, and most of my colleagues make the average kkk rally attendee look fiercely individualistic. They don't care or understand that I'm quite content in my bleak, lonely, misanthropic personal hell, whilst I'm at work. They believe in "joining in". They are, to put a fairly fine point on it, cunts. Cunts that I would mostly go 2 miles out of my way to avoid having to even make eye contact with, we're I not getting paid a wage to have to tolerate them. But I do have to tolerate them, and even make an effort to get on with hem, because 40 hours a week for the foreseeable future will be spent in their company. 

Secondly, and this is really an extension of point one, I have been pulled up for my "team work" skills, since starting that job. Basically, partly due to some issues with depression etc which I prefer not to discuss with my boss, and partly because I don't like a lot of them that much, I made little effort to engage with my colleagues for the first 6 months or so of my employment. It was a significant factor in having my probation period extended (thankfully now passed....), along with not being that great at my job. It's that sort of place. They want everyone to get along, they want everyone to be happy smiley campers, at least outwardly. Of course, you could be dying inside, and they wouldn't notice or care.  But, I need this job, so I'm not really in a position to buck the system and tell them to shove their movember up their hairy fucking arseholes...

And that is the predicament I find myself in. I'll probably end up doing it. I just can't see a way out without looking like a moody cock.


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## Voley (Oct 30, 2012)

I'd tell em to go get fucked, Jon. Well not in those exact words but I'd be quite firm about it. Tell em you're happy to bung in a few quid and stick to that. I'm fully bearded myself but if someone tried to coerce me to shave it off for charity they'd be told (politely) to fuck off. Dress code for work? Fair enough, most people will happily go along with that. Being asked to change your physical appearance? Piss off.


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## Voley (Oct 30, 2012)

Jon-of-arc said:


> Secondly, and this is really an extension of point one, I have been pulled up for my "team work" skills, since starting that job. Basically, partly due to some issues with depression etc which I prefer not to discuss with my boss, and partly because I don't like a lot of them that much, I made little effort to engage with my colleagues for the first 6 months or so of my employment. It was a significant factor in having my probation period extended (thankfully now passed....), along with not being that great at my job. It's that sort of place.


 
That makes it more tricky, certainly, but I'd still stick to my guns on this one. I was thought of as 'moody' and 'not a team player' for refusing to go on some pseudo-science bullshit teambuilding course once where they were going to use some bollocks method of labelling/pigeonholing you 'so you could work to your strengths'. I read up on it, told them it was a load of cack and refused to go. They thought I was a dick for not joining in. It was brought up in my end of year appraisal. I lived with it.


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Oct 30, 2012)

Jon-of-arc said:


> The problem with this iiii-isssss...
> 
> Firstly, I don't work in a place with lots of free spirits, I work in a medium sized private sector cube farm, and most of my colleagues make the average kkk rally attendee look fiercely individualistic. They don't care or understand that I'm quite content in my bleak, lonely, misanthropic personal hell, whilst I'm at work. They believe in "joining in". They are, to put a fairly fine point on it, cunts. Cunts that I would mostly go 2 miles out of my way to avoid having to even make eye contact with, we're I not getting paid a wage to have to tolerate them. But I do have to tolerate them, and even make an effort to get on with hem, because 40 hours a week for the foreseeable future will be spent in their company.
> 
> ...


 
Having in worked in places like that I feel you pain. I really do.


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## quimcunx (Oct 30, 2012)

tell them the last time you had a 'tache you caught crabs in it and can't take the risk again as you're allergic to the treatment cream.


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## Idaho (Oct 30, 2012)

Get a fake one.


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## stuff_it (Oct 30, 2012)

At least you have a job.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Oct 30, 2012)

i have shaved my top lip about three times in my life...

i don't bother it and it doesn't bother me

movember would  just involve me  shaving my beard more often


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## fogbat (Oct 31, 2012)

Shave daily. Insist that you're not. Cry at your apparent inability to just. Make. This. Bloody. Moustache. Grow.


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## weepiper (Nov 1, 2012)

Even the bloody buses round here are doing Movember


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## DRINK? (Nov 1, 2012)

I hate movember, the charity thing is fine though it is just the 'wackiness' of it all, just makes me think student bullshit.....fundraising by kerrrrrrazy people...

Enough people in my office feel the same so no big deal


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## DRINK? (Nov 1, 2012)

nipsla said:


> Pffft - I'm going to grow my bush for the whole of November. My bearded clam will be the toast of the town


 
this this happens in fanuary


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## spanglechick (Nov 1, 2012)

i vaguely support movember because i'd like to see a resurgence of the eighties dad 'tache. for too long children have been growing up with tache-less daddies.


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## ruffneck23 (Nov 1, 2012)

its for charity researching prostrate cancer, which as blokes we may well get, i think its a good idea, enforced to do it is a bit of a pisser, but i did it a couple of years ago, it wasnt about styling, it was about looking like a twat for a month for a bloody good cause, cant see your problem


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## Throbbing Angel (Nov 1, 2012)

*problem solved*


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## Shirl (Nov 1, 2012)

nipsla said:


> Pffft - I'm going to grow my bush for the whole of November. My bearded clam will be the toast of the town


Don't do that, save it for Fanuary


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## Jon-of-arc (Nov 1, 2012)

I got out of it. Had to pretty much highlight that im not 100% comfortable with my physical appearance as is, but the pressure  eased off. 

I feel a bit harsh having slagged my colleagues so hard. Theyre ok.


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## twistedAM (Nov 1, 2012)

EDIT...glad you got out of it


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## FridgeMagnet (Nov 1, 2012)

I did it for a couple of years but I never got more than a couple of sponsors - it was more about raising the profile tbh, I would explain why it was that I was deliberately looking like a cunt, and now it's everywhere that part doesn't really apply so much.

Also I really did look like a cunt. I used to catch sight of myself in shop windows and think "who's that cunt? Doesn't he realise how stupid he looks? Oh, it's me." I have enough trouble with that when I'm not doing it deliberately. I'd rather just give some money now tbh.


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## harpo (Nov 1, 2012)

Speaking as a woman, I have to say that it's a rare man who doesn't look good with a moustache. Men underestimate the allure of a moustache, I feel. You _think_ you look stupid but you don't.


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## belboid (Nov 1, 2012)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I did it for a couple of years but I never got more than a couple of sponsors - it was more about raising the profile tbh,


that's what I'll say too! (current sponsorship level: a fiver)


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## belboid (Nov 1, 2012)

harpo said:


> Speaking as a woman, I have to say that it's a rare man who doesn't look good with a moustache. Men underestimate the allure of a moustache, I feel. You _think_ you look stupid but you don't.


twenty quid says you're wrong


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## harpo (Nov 1, 2012)

belboid said:


> twenty quid says you're wrong


I am not wrong.  You may keep your £20 though


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## starfish (Nov 1, 2012)

Draw one on your finger with a permanent marker.


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## stuff_it (Nov 1, 2012)

Wait until the last day of November and draw one on your face in felt tip.


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## stuff_it (Nov 1, 2012)

harpo said:


> Speaking as a woman, I have to say that it's a rare man who doesn't look good with a moustache. Men underestimate the allure of a moustache, I feel. You _think_ you look stupid but you don't.


Speaking as a woman moustaches are creepy and make me think of Tom Sellick and Hitler, or at best The Twits.


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## DotCommunist (Nov 1, 2012)

stuff_it said:


> Speaking as a woman moustaches are creepy and make me think of Tom Sel*lick* and Hitler, or at best The Twits.


 

sigmund!


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## belboid (Nov 1, 2012)

Cameron will not particpate in Movember


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## blairsh (Nov 1, 2012)

I'm doing this, boss thought it might be a laugh, it's for a good cause and i am quite good at making a prat of myself and a tash is one i've never tried.

If i felt differently and didn't want to do it for whatever reason, welll....


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## Badgers (Nov 1, 2012)

Badgers said:
			
		

> I feel your pain PP


 
Used to work for an Australian company. They took over a UK company I was working for and shipped over a lot of Aussie boys rather than hire locally. Most the new boys liked beer, sexism, sport and casual racism to give you the picture. They were taking daily 'MO' photos, even had the press in.

When November started they all went tash happy. I did not want to play the tash game and got a month of grief. Until the day I left I was the token 'non team player' of the company


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## marty21 (Nov 2, 2012)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Say you had a terrible chin accident during puberty and you can't grow a beard. Then cry.


^^^^My life^^^^


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## Citizen66 (Nov 2, 2012)

It's the new one minute silence / poppy fascism.


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## Fozzie Bear (Nov 5, 2012)

I am also growing a 'tache, cos my Dad was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer.

This strikes me as a better motivation than being forced to participate because people you work with have decided it will be "fun". I hate that shit.


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## FridgeMagnet (Nov 5, 2012)

I'm growing a poppy on my upper lip, and wearing a moustache on my lapel.


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## starfish2000 (Nov 6, 2012)

My work have really got behind it this year but to be honest they'd have tried to have a go on uniform standards not so long ago....


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## Shippou-Sensei (Nov 6, 2012)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I'm growing a poppy on my upper lip


 
try zovirax


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## DotCommunist (Nov 6, 2012)

FridgeMagnet said:


> I'm growing a poppy on my upper lip, and wearing a moustache on my lapel.


 

a white moustache, you butcher


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## ringo (Nov 6, 2012)

Badgers said:


> Used to work for an Australian company. They took over a UK company I was working for and shipped over a lot of Aussie boys rather than hire locally. Most the new boys liked beer, sexism, sport and casual racism to give you the picture. They were taking daily 'MO' photos, even had the press in.
> 
> When November started they all went tash happy. I did not want to play the tash game and got a month of grief. Until the day I left I was the token 'non team player' of the company


 
I had the same in a big website company. It was staffed almost exclusively with cunts who just loved this sort of shit and actively joined in team building exercises. They even thought flash mobs were 'like, the coolest thing'. Wankers.


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## RaverDrew (Nov 10, 2012)




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## Jon-of-arc (Nov 10, 2012)

My team coordinator bloke looks like stuart from the thick of it, with his mo. And thus, by extentiom, dr robotnik. He didnt like it when I mentioned the latter, pointing out the rotundness of the sonic boss...


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## belboid (Nov 10, 2012)

Sorry, but if you refuse to take part, you lose the right to take the piss!


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## Badgers (Nov 15, 2012)

Byron Hamburger bar in Waterloo is offering free burgers for people with mushtaches up until 20th November



> GROW A MO
> Register with Movember, raise £25 and we’ll give you a free burger (or main course salad) from 7th-20th November, between 3pm-6pm. Every day.
> ORDER THE MO BURGER SPECIAL
> And we’ll give 50p to Movember. All month.
> ...


 
FREE Burger


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## belboid (Nov 15, 2012)

Badgers said:


> FREE Burger


half of which would end up in the bloody tash.  I am getting thoroughly irritated by mine.


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## Stigmata (Nov 15, 2012)

Unless you can achieve this:







What's the point


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## stuff_it (Nov 15, 2012)

Stigmata said:
			
		

> Unless you can achieve this:
> 
> What's the point



I can't even grow a decent mufftache.


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## miniGMgoit (Nov 25, 2012)

Grow a beard and shave off the tash in protest.


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## Boris Sprinkler (Nov 25, 2012)

I had a colleague come up to me and point at the stubble above my top lip "movember?"

"nah, just gives me an excuse to be a lazy cunt"


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## geminisnake (Nov 25, 2012)

Jon-of-arc said:


> My team coordinator bloke looks like stuart from the thick of it, with his mo. And thus, by extentiom, dr robotnik. He didnt like it when I mentioned the latter, pointing out the rotundness of the sonic boss...


 
No idea who Stuart is but I do know who Dr Robotnik is


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## StoneRoad (Nov 26, 2012)

I hate this sort of enforced "fun" - I already support my selected charities !


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## Badgers (Oct 21, 2013)

Nearly time again


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## DotCommunist (Oct 21, 2013)

Do nanowrimo instead


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## Greebo (Oct 21, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> Do nanowrimo instead


Or najopomo, if you've got a life and RSI doesn't appeal to you.


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## danny la rouge (Oct 27, 2013)

I'm shaving my facial hair off for November.


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## Fuchs66 (Oct 27, 2013)

Well seeing as I'm going to be spending most of November in a warzone I've decided to go for it and attempt to produce a "Sanchez" tache. Should pass the time a bit


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## Maurice Picarda (Oct 27, 2013)

belboid said:


> Sorry, but if you refuse to take part, you lose the right to take the piss!



It's precisely the opposite.


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## FridgeMagnet (Oct 28, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> Do nanowrimo instead


I suppose you could write a novel in the shape of a moustache. Starts pretty thin, gets a bit more serious (with a bit of a gap in the middle) but tapers off towards the end.


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## silverfish (Oct 28, 2013)

Fuchs66 said:


> Well seeing as I'm going to be spending most of November in a warzone I've decided to go for it and attempt to produce a "Sanchez" tache. Should pass the time a bit



OOH which one?


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## Fuchs66 (Oct 28, 2013)

silverfish said:


> OOH which one?


This one


Spoiler


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## silverfish (Oct 28, 2013)

Fuchs66 said:


> This one



wah button off

which war zone you zoomer


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## Badgers (Oct 28, 2013)

So if you have a beard do you have to shave it all off and then regrow just the tash? Or just shave off the beard and leave a full tash?


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## Pickman's model (Oct 28, 2013)

Badgers said:


> So if you have a beard do you have to shave it all off and then regrow just the tash? Or just shave off the beard and leave a full tash?


yes


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## Fuchs66 (Oct 28, 2013)

silverfish said:


> wah button off
> 
> which war zone you zoomer


 e2a and gone


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## Remus Harbank (Oct 29, 2013)

when is it going to be Pitember, where you let your armpit hair grow for a good cause


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## Artaxerxes (Oct 29, 2013)

Remus Harbank said:


> when is it going to be Pitember, where you let your armpit hair grow for a good cause



I'm a big supporter of Crotchtober myself, sometimes it lasts all year round.


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## farmerbarleymow (Oct 29, 2013)

Artaxerxes said:


> I'm a big supporter of Crotchtober myself, sometimes it lasts all year round.


I prefer Arse-ember when I grow luxuriant arse hair, and show my colleagues how bushy its getting.


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## jusali (Oct 30, 2013)

Ah the fun Police! Always getting in your face and harping on about charidee.
We've got a jazzy shirt day sometime in the near future oh what japes!
I can barely contain my joy, exuberance and excitement!


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Oct 30, 2013)

jusali said:


> Ah the fun Police! Always getting in your face and harping on about charidee.
> We've got a jazzy shirt day sometime in the near future oh what japes!
> I can barely contain my joy, exuberance and excitement!



Do you have to pay for the privilege?


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## UnderAnOpenSky (Oct 30, 2013)

dp


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## jusali (Oct 30, 2013)

Global Stoner said:


> Do you have to pay for the privilege?


Oh yes "only" a fiver though.......YAY!


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## Looby (Oct 31, 2013)

We had the email about Movember yesterday. 

I've sponsored them for climbing mountains, I've bought the raffle tickets for things I never win but I'm not paying for someone to grow a fucking moustache. 

November is going to make me even more grumpy.


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## tendril (Oct 31, 2013)

tar1984 said:


> If everyone got sponsored to grow hitler taches I bet they'd raise a lot more money


Perhaps enough to fund a fourth reich


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## Yelkcub (Oct 31, 2013)

jusali said:


> Ah the fun Police! Always getting in your face and harping on about charidee.
> We've got a jazzy shirt day sometime in the near future oh what japes!
> I can barely contain my joy, exuberance and excitement!


You should have been in my office, this day:
http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/work-place-hilarity.220956/


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## DRINK? (Oct 31, 2013)

it is bollocks, essentially being sponsored to do nothing...please sonsor me for not climbing everest


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## tar1984 (Oct 31, 2013)

Just remembered that today is dressing up for halloween at my work.  Prizes for best dressed team etc.

My manager has encouraged me to dress up as the chef off the film 'ratatouille'  because apparently I look like him and this is hilarious 

I am a bit image conscious and always hate getting compared to any tv character or celeb, because it gives some insight into how I am actually perceived.  So I have no desire to play along with this.  I am going in in my normal clothes


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## gabi (Nov 5, 2013)

it's a strong look. do it.


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## silverfish (Nov 5, 2013)

gabi said:


> it's a strong look. do it.


is that it? I thought it would be a ratfaced creature

You need to develop a slightly thicker skin


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## Frances Lengel (Nov 5, 2013)

I though he meant this one


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## barney_pig (Nov 5, 2013)

Mrs_pig  made some comment about movember, and I have taken this as permission to grow facial hair.
 I started out wanting some full on mutton chops.
But have instead gone for the horseshoe moustache, as sported by hulk hogan and that bloke on the jack Daniels advert.
Mrs_pig is already making shaving hints.


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## Fuchs66 (Nov 6, 2013)

In the war zone and my moustache is magnificent!


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## heinous seamus (Nov 11, 2013)

Forced into a team movember effort and now getting ripped for having a shit moustache


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## joustmaster (Nov 11, 2013)

heinous seamus said:


> Forced into a team movember effort and now getting ripped for having a shit moustache


shave it in to a hitler 'tache.
that'll learn em...


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## joustmaster (Nov 11, 2013)

i too have been peer pressured into it.
and, i too, have a really shit looking 'tache.

there is at least a camaraderie of others in the office with them.
Except on Friday i am flying to malaysia until the end of November, to work with guy who has an actual serious moustache.


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## fredfelt (Nov 12, 2013)

heinous seamus said:


> Forced into a team movember effort and now getting ripped for having a shit moustache



Team movember effort and shit moustache you say?






Is it Fanuary already?


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