# the fucking tour de fucking France



## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

Surely I'm not the only pissed off northerner. They are coming passed my door and fucking french gendarmes can tell me I can't take my car out  bastards


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## ChrisFilter (May 26, 2014)

I can't wait. I'd be well pleased if it came round my way. Two days of minor inconvenience for one of the world's greatest spectacles? Bargain!


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## Belushi (May 26, 2014)

Top swearing Shirl


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## el-ahrairah (May 26, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> I can't wait. I'd be well pleased if it came round my way. Two days of minor inconvenience for one of the world's greatest spectacles? Bargain!



it's not one of the world's greatest spectacles though, it's a bike race.  this means it's nearly as entertaining as watching people play scrabble.


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## Glitter (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> Surely I'm not the only pissed off northerner. They are coming passed my door and fucking french gendarmes can tell me I can't take my car out  bastards



You're not. I'm fucking pissed off at the Tour de Twats too.

The inconvenience has been going on for fucking WEEKS with them closing all the roads to dig them up and every cunt with two wheels and a bit of lycra clogging up the roads thinking they're Lance fucking Armstrong. 

And lets be honest, it's a piss poor excise for a sport that nobody cares about.


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## ChrisFilter (May 26, 2014)

el-ahrairah said:


> it's not one of the world's greatest spectacles though, it's a bike race.  this means it's nearly as entertaining as watching people play scrabble.



Silly.


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## ChrisFilter (May 26, 2014)

Glitter said:


> You're not. I'm fucking pissed off at the Tour de Twats too.
> 
> The inconvenience has been going on for fucking WEEKS with them closing all the roads to dig them up and every cunt with two wheels and a bit of lycra clogging up the roads thinking they're Lance fucking Armstrong.
> 
> And lets be honest, it's a piss poor excise for a sport that nobody cares about.



Even sillier. It's one of the world's most enjoyed and watched sports. 

Moan, moan, moan. Down with this sort of thing!


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## alfajobrob (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> Surely I'm not the only pissed off northerner. They are coming passed my door and fucking french gendarmes can tell me I can't take my car out  bastards



Hehe...you probably have paid tax for this to happen as well if your in that northern place called "Yorkshire"?.....ta for that


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## tufty79 (May 26, 2014)

it's coming a few streets away from me. getting anywhere is going to be shit. do not want


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## Ted Striker (May 26, 2014)

Going up to Yorkshire to watch the start (then down to watch the 3rd day in Cambridge/London)...And also just sorted tickets to have the finish in Paris.

Heard the other day from a decent source that Wiggins (pretty much my cycling hero , sadly) isn't going though will still hopefully see a decent showing from the Sky team.

I bloody loves it!


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## ChrisFilter (May 26, 2014)

Yeah, I'm camping on the route. Gonna be amazing. So much fun stuff planned around it. Proper festival weekend.


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## el-ahrairah (May 26, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> Silly.



look, cycling is a load of bollocks.   the winner is the one on the most drugs.  it's like competitive raving, without the tunes.


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> I can't wait. I'd be well pleased if it came round my way. Two days of minor inconvenience for one of the world's greatest spectacles? Bargain!


No way, they don't even let women join in


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

Glitter said:


> You're not. I'm fucking pissed off at the Tour de Twats too.
> 
> The inconvenience has been going on for fucking WEEKS with them closing all the roads to dig them up and every cunt with two wheels and a bit of lycra clogging up the roads thinking they're Lance fucking Armstrong.
> 
> And lets be honest, it's a piss poor excise for a sport that nobody cares about.


SPOT ON!!!


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## machine cat (May 26, 2014)

I'm looking forward to it... it comes passed my house too and I'll be spending the day selling tap water to gullible tourists.


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## alfajobrob (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> No way, they don't even let women join in



Have you not seen the podium?


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## Ted Striker (May 26, 2014)

el-ahrairah said:


> it's not one of the world's greatest spectacles though, it's a bike race.  this means it's nearly as entertaining as watching people play scrabble.



As human sporting endeavours go, it's up there with the best of them IMO.

I kind of agree that the coverage to make it a decent, entertaining spectacle to watch have a LONG way to go though.


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> Yeah, I'm camping on the route. Gonna be amazing. So much fun stuff planned around it. Proper festival weekend.


Where's the bloody festival that stops me getting in my car and going to work that day? I've had to waste a precious day's fucking holiday just because I can't get to work because of some sodding cyclists


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## machine cat (May 26, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> Yeah, I'm camping on the route. Gonna be amazing. So much fun stuff planned around it. Proper festival weekend.



If you need any top quality Yorkshire 'spring' water for your weekend just let me know!


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

alfajobrob said:


> Have you not seen the podium?


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## Belushi (May 26, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> Yeah, I'm camping on the route. Gonna be amazing. So much fun stuff planned around it. Proper festival weekend.



Shirl's garden yeah?


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## tufty79 (May 26, 2014)

i've got a carnival closing my road in august as well.

I will be adopting siege mentality for most of the summer.


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## machine cat (May 26, 2014)

Glitter said:


> You're not. I'm fucking pissed off at the Tour de Twats too.
> 
> The inconvenience has been going on for fucking WEEKS with them closing all the roads to dig them up and every cunt with two wheels and a bit of lycra clogging up the roads thinking they're Lance fucking Armstrong.
> 
> And lets be honest, it's a piss poor excise for a sport that nobody cares about.



It has been a fucking pain in the arse round these parts with all the roadworks. The A629 from Halifax to Huddersfield is pretty much unusable during the week.


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## farmerbarleymow (May 26, 2014)

Are you pissed and all riled up in preparation for tomorrow Shirl? 

If the road closures prevent someone from getting to work isn't there some kind of recompense? It'd not as if they are emergency closures for essential works - it's just people riding bikes.


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## Glitter (May 26, 2014)

machine cat said:


> It has been a fucking pain in the arse round these parts with all the roadworks. The A629 from Halifax to Huddersfield is pretty much unusable during the week.



You must be quite near me - I'm in Sowerby Bridge. 

I go dancing in Huddersfield on Wednesday nights and Ainley Top being shut is a pain in the hole


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Are you pissed and all riled up in preparation for tomorrow Shirl?
> 
> If the road closures prevent someone from getting to work isn't there some kind of recompense? It'd not as if they are emergency closures for essential works - it's just people riding bikes.


yes barleymow, it's just people riding sodding bikes. And no, there is no fucking recompense. THE BASTARDS


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## peterkro (May 26, 2014)

I was in Kerry when Clinton visited,not only could't you use your car it had to be parked nose first into the drive,the fuckers welded every manhole cover closed as well.
The Tour will pass by on the Embankment a couple of hundred yards away from where I live I'm looking forward to it.


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## farmerbarleymow (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> yes barleymow, it's just people riding sodding bikes. And no, there is no fucking recompense. THE BASTARDS


I'm going to buy you a megaphone and ply you with booze on the day, so you can stand at the roadside and shout 'YOU'RE A BUNCH OF USELESS BASTARDS!' Over and over.


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## Maurice Picarda (May 26, 2014)

Belushi said:


> Top swearing Shirl



It's eminently Cooper Clarke.


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## moose (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> it's just people riding sodding bikes


And PISSING, Shirl. Don't forget the pissing. Dirty bastards.


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I'm going to buy you a megaphone and ply you with booze on the day, so you can stand at the roadside and shout 'YOU'RE A BUNCH OF USELESS BASTARDS!' Over and over.


Please do and come round ours on the day!


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

moose said:


> And PISSING, Shirl. Don't forget the pissing. Dirty bastards.


You come round too and piss with me on the pissy bastards


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## Glitter (May 26, 2014)

I would come round if I could fucking GET there 

Wankers!


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## Ted Striker (May 26, 2014)

If we see "PISS OFF YOU PUSHBIKE CUNTS" written on the roads we know who will have white paint on their hands


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## Glitter (May 26, 2014)

Can you write BIKE CUNTS on your lawn with weedkiller?


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## Dan U (May 26, 2014)

I can't wait. Hoping to head up to Yorkshire and see a stage and then it goes near a friends in Suffolk. 

I live near the Olympic route in Surrey and I have to say our lanes are noticeably more crowded with weekend cyclists ever since, so look forward to that all you haters 

Eta - any locals know somewhere we could feasibly get to to see it from Barnsley? About as close on the south side we can find a hotel that isn't silly money.


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## Fez909 (May 26, 2014)

I can't wait for it. I'm going to see it set off from Leeds and then I'm going to ride to Harrogate and get pissed at the side of the road until they come past again. 

Also Ted Striker, I think Wiggins is going to be at the start in Leeds even though he won't be riding.


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## Dan U (May 26, 2014)

Fez909 is that confirmed re wiggo?


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

It's all a pile of shite. Glitter  is welcome round ours on the day, she can drive over the tops. Me and her can chuck cat shit on the lycra clad arseholes as the pass by


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## The Boy (May 26, 2014)

One of the greatest sporting events in the world.  Would love to have it passing my house, but as it is I'm going to have to take a holiday, spend a fuck ton of money and go round Shirl 's house to use the toilet buy expensive tap water.


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## Fez909 (May 26, 2014)

Dan U said:


> Fez909 is that confirmed re wiggo?


My mate is a big corporate type and said he has been offered tickets to some posh do at the start, "where I will meet Bradley Wiggins and that". So whether he meant it as an example or 100% he's going to be there, I don't know.


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

The Boy said:


> One of the greatest sporting events in the world.  Would love to have it passing my house, but as it is I'm going to have to take a holiday, spend a fuck ton of money and go round Shirl 's house to use the toilet buy expensive tap water.


Bastard.  you can come if you want to though


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## Shirl (May 26, 2014)

You can come too Fez, the more the pissed off I'll be. But that's how I like it


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## Fez909 (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> You can come too Fez, the more the pissed off I'll be. But that's how I like it


Thanks...I'll bring the bike to cycle up from Hebden* 

*not really. It's hard enough walking up there


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## Dr. Furface (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> Surely I'm not the only pissed off northerner. They are coming passed my door and fucking french gendarmes can tell me I can't take my car out  bastards


Just one more example of how Europe is ruining our great country. Come on Farage, sort it out!


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## Mr Moose (May 26, 2014)

Ted Striker said:


> As human sporting endeavours go, it's up there with the best of them IMO.
> 
> I kind of agree that the coverage to make it a decent, entertaining spectacle to watch have a LONG way to go though.



Don't agree, the coverage is great imo. No other sport gives you the cultural and geographical tour. 

Cycle racing is also complex with many different tactics coming into play with lots of different contests.


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## Mr Moose (May 26, 2014)

Shirl said:


> It's all a pile of shite. Glitter  is welcome round ours on the day, she can drive over the tops. Me and her can chuck cat shit on the lycra clad arseholes as the pass by



You might get to be on TV gurning malevolently at all that enjoyment.


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## JTG (May 27, 2014)

Mr Moose said:


> No other sport gives you the cultural ... tour.


True that. Why it's visiting Yorkshire is anyone's guess tbh


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

JTG said:


> True that. Why it's visiting Yorkshire is anyone's guess tbh



Good job Shirl will be sleeping off the booze at the moment, or she'd have your guts for garters.


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## JTG (May 27, 2014)

s'alright, I'm fairly sure moose is on board here


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

Shirl - you need to put this sign up near yours as it might put them off.


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## gabi (May 27, 2014)

Methinks a sport as sophisticated as cycling might be a bit lost on northerners. Why the fuck are they even bothering going up there? I'm sure Farage will have his say on this now that he's the most powerful man up in those parts.


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## Glitter (May 27, 2014)

JTG said:


> True that. Why it's visiting Yorkshire is anyone's guess tbh



The hills? 

The part of the route near me has a hill that steep it's hard to get up in a car tbf. Going up it in a bike must be murder.

Doesn't make it an interesting watch though.


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

gabi said:


> Methinks a sport as sophisticated as cycling might be a bit lost on northerners. Why the fuck are they even bothering going up there? I'm sure Farage will have his say on this now that he's the most powerful man up in those parts.


Don't worry - apart from the Shirl shouting 'cyclist cunts' at them through a megaphone, she'll be hoying wooden clogs at them too. That's the  traditional warm welcome in Yorkshire.


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## JTG (May 27, 2014)

Glitter said:


> The hills?


Funny definition of 'culture'


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## Glitter (May 27, 2014)

JTG said:


> Funny definition of 'culture'



It wasn't a definition of culture, funny or otherwise.


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## JTG (May 27, 2014)

Glitter said:


> It wasn't a definition of culture, funny or otherwise.


Oh right. I singled out the 'cultural' bit in my quote, cos I was doing a funny.


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## Glitter (May 27, 2014)

JTG said:


> Oh right. I singled out the 'cultural' bit in my quote, cos I was doing a funny.





I didn't see the culture bit. I even checked it


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## JTG (May 27, 2014)

Glitter said:


> I didn't see the culture bit. I even checked it


No worries, it's early


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## moose (May 27, 2014)

JTG said:


> s'alright, I'm fairly sure moose is on board here


Yup. I will vote for whoever promises to build a massive bypass from Manchester to Whitby. The rest can fuck off.


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

moose said:


> Yup. I will vote for whoever promises to build a massive bypass from Manchester to Whitby. The rest can fuck off.


Perhaps they should put in a tunnel all the way so no one has to even _see_ Yorkshire.


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## Glitter (May 27, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Perhaps they should put in a tunnel all the way so no one has to even _see_ Yorkshire.



The visuals are probably Yorkshire's greatest selling point though...


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

Glitter said:


> The visuals are probably Yorkshire's greatest selling point though...


True enough, because it's certainly not the people.  

*ducks*


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## Glitter (May 27, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> True enough, because it's certainly not the people.
> 
> *ducks*



Shirl will leather you for that.


(I'm a Manc, I'm just exiled here)


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

Glitter said:


> Shirl will leather you for that.
> 
> 
> (I'm a Manc, I'm just exiled here)


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## Shirl (May 27, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> True enough, because it's certainly not the people.
> 
> *ducks*


See me later barleymow


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## aqua (May 27, 2014)

el-ahrairah said:


> look, cycling is a load of bollocks.   the winner is the one on the most drugs.  it's like competitive raving, without the tunes.


this might be one of the best things I've read about cycling  ta x


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

Shirl said:


> See me later barleymow


Ooh, are you going to put me in detention?


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## Shirl (May 27, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Ooh, are you going to put me in detention?


I was thinking more corporal punishment


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## farmerbarleymow (May 27, 2014)

Shirl said:


> I was thinking more corporal punishment


Oooh, yes please!


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## machine cat (May 28, 2014)

Glitter said:


> You must be quite near me - I'm in Sowerby Bridge.
> 
> I go dancing in Huddersfield on Wednesday nights and Ainley Top being shut is a pain in the hole



I live Huddersfield and my parents in Greetland. Have to do a massive detour on evenings.

I know the roundabout needs improving, but they're only doing it for this fucking bike race.


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## machine cat (May 28, 2014)

Shirl said:


> See me later barleymow



Let's fuckin deck 'im!


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## farmerbarleymow (May 28, 2014)

machine cat said:


> Let's fuckin deck 'im!


Yorkshire folk - all mouth and no trousers.


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## Glitter (May 28, 2014)

machine cat said:


> I live Huddersfield and my parents in Greetland. Have to do a massive detour on evenings.
> 
> I know the roundabout needs improving, but they're only doing it for this fucking bike race.



My inlaws are in Barkisland. I bet they all know each other


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## SpookyFrank (May 28, 2014)

gabi said:


> Why the fuck are they even bothering going up there? I'm sure Farage will have his say on this now that he's the most powerful man up in those parts.



It's a conspiracy by the French to make us look rubbish by showcasing Leeds; Britain's worst city and indeed the worst city in the entire world.


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## machine cat (May 28, 2014)

Glitter said:


> My inlaws are in Barkisland. I bet they all know each other



Barkisland eh?

We're probably related


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## Frances Lengel (Jun 6, 2014)

Shirl said:


> See me later barleymow




He's right though - Yorkshire's like France in that it's a beautiful place but ruined by the troglodyte locals.


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## colacubes (Jun 7, 2014)

This thread title makes me think of John Cooper Clark


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## youngian (Jun 7, 2014)

Shirl said:


> Surely I'm not the only pissed off northerner. They are coming passed my door and fucking french gendarmes can tell me I can't take my car out  bastards


When these Froggy loving corrupt councillors decided it was a good thing to put one of the world's biggest sporting events in your neighbourhood it is because they are corrupt metropolitan elitist EUSSR politicians that don't care about the ordinary working man. When will they learn thay politics is all about me me me, Vote UKIP NOW GRRR!


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## Frances Lengel (Jun 7, 2014)

youngian said:


> When these Froggy loving corrupt councillors decided it was a good thing to put one of the world's biggest sporting events in your neighbourhood it is because they are corrupt metropolitan elitist EUSSR politicians that don't care about the ordinary working man. When will they learn thay politics is all about me me me, Vote UKIP NOW GRRR!



That's me convinced.


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## josef1878 (Jun 9, 2014)

I bet they are related too!


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## josef1878 (Jun 9, 2014)

Glitter said:


> My inlaws are in Barkisland. I bet they all know each other


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## josef1878 (Jun 9, 2014)

That came out back to front. ...luckily you know I am a little bit back to front. Did I reply to your text? I can't remember


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## josef1878 (Jun 9, 2014)

Glitter


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## Glitter (Jun 9, 2014)

No, useless get


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## Shirl (Jun 9, 2014)

I've just heard that whilst we were promised the town would benefit financially by being brought to a standstill by cyclists and tourists, the council are now inviting traders from out of the area to come and sell there crap here on the day


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## free spirit (Jun 9, 2014)

They appear to be littering the place with yellow painted bikes, does anyone know if these are actually marking the route, or just randomly scattered around the place?


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## josef1878 (Jun 9, 2014)

Glitter  my mate is back from South Africa next weekend  :-(


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## Glitter (Jun 9, 2014)

free spirit said:


> They appear to be littering the place with yellow painted bikes, does anyone know if these are actually marking the route, or just randomly scattered around the place?



Randomly scattered about.

The whole place has gone crazy with them. 

josef1878  Never mind, there'll be plenty of other weekends.


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## Shirl (Jun 10, 2014)

free spirit said:


> They appear to be littering the place with yellow painted bikes, does anyone know if these are actually marking the route, or just randomly scattered around the place?


Yes as Glitter says, just random. Every fucker with and old bike seems to have sprayed it yellow and stuck it on a wall


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## friedaweed (Jun 12, 2014)

Think I'm coming over with Finn Larden for this 

You gonna meet us for a pint Shirl


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## Shirl (Jun 12, 2014)

friedaweed said:


> Think I'm coming over with Finn Larden for this
> 
> You gonna meet us for a pint Shirl


Oh go on then


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## The Boy (Jun 12, 2014)

urban tour de France meet on a hill?


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## farmerbarleymow (Jun 12, 2014)

Have you hurled abuse/cat shit/clogs/bricks* at any cyclists yet, Shirl?  Or even did a few in and buried them on the windswept moors?

*delete as applicable


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## Shirl (Jun 12, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Have you hurled abuse/cat shit/clogs/bricks* at any cyclists yet, Shirl?  Or even did a few in and buried them on the windswept moors?
> 
> *delete as applicable


I've got nothing against cyclists, I get on me bike sometimes  It's the effing tour that get's on my tits


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## Dogsauce (Jun 13, 2014)

I'd recommend going up to Brymor's ice cream parlour north of Masham as it goes straight past there, and you can also gorge yourself on the world's best rhubarb crumble ice cream.

I'm pissed off because my forthcoming operation has been moved back another week to the 26th June, so I'll be probably stuck in Jimmy's while all this is going on. I'd have probably cycled somewhere scenic and camped if I was able to.


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## Ted Striker (Jun 13, 2014)

Hope someone's on bridge patrol


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## Shirl (Jun 21, 2014)

Dogsauce said:


> I'd recommend going up to Brymor's ice cream parlour north of Masham as it goes straight past there, and you can also gorge yourself on the world's best rhubarb crumble ice cream.


I don't need to go anywhere, other than to avoid the bastard race. It's coming right past me and I don't like ice cream


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## Fez909 (Jun 21, 2014)

Shirl said:


> I don't need to go anywhere, other than to avoid the bastard race. It's coming right past me and I don't like ice cream


embrace it!

It's only one day  

I'd love it if it came past my house!


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## Shirl (Jun 21, 2014)

Fez909 said:


> embrace it!
> 
> It's only one day
> 
> I'd love it if it came past my house!


Maybe, but I have had to take a day's holiday from work as I can't get there  I don't mind cycling, I have a bike myself. I do mind being told what I can and can't do by the bloody council all in the name of a race that women aren't allowed to take part in


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## Pickman's model (Jun 21, 2014)

Fez909 said:


> embrace it!
> 
> It's only one day
> 
> I'd love it if it came past my house!


pity it isn't then. it would be grand to see your mind change.


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## Wilf (Jun 23, 2014)

Shirl said:


> Yes as Glitter says, just random. Every fucker with and old bike seems to have sprayed it yellow and stuck it on a wall


 Rochdale's got tour de pushbike signs up, presumably they come from up your way and over Blackstone Edge?  Anyway, I'm with you, pissy, steroid cheating, sideburned, pissy, pisss piss piss, bicycle pissy lycra wankers.  I've warmed to France in the World Cup, but even they can fuck off after this outrage. 

Oh, and that other one, Milord Chris Hoy, he can fuck off as well.


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## Glitter (Jun 23, 2014)

Wilf said:


> Rochdale's got tour de pushbike signs up, presumably they come from up your way and over Blackstone Edge?  Anyway, I'm with you, pissy, steroid cheating, sideburned, pissy, pisss piss piss, bicycle pissy lycra wankers.  I've warmed to France in the World Cup, but even they can fuck off after this outrage.
> 
> Oh, and that other one, Milord Chris Hoy, he can fuck off as well.



It skims the edge of Rochdale. But yeah, comes down Cragg whatsit to thr reservoir, down to Ripponden then up towards Barkisland and up towards Huddersfield. 

It *may* go somewhere near Littleborough but I'm not sure.


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## Wilf (Jun 23, 2014)

Glitter said:


> It skims the edge of Rochdale. But yeah, comes down Cragg whatsit to thr reservoir, down to Ripponden then up towards Barkisland and up towards Huddersfield.
> 
> It *may* go somewhere near Littleborough but I'm not sure.


 Sounds a bit tenuous for Rochdale Council to be pretending they are at the heart of the tour de france!


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## Glitter (Jun 23, 2014)

Wilf said:


> Sounds a bit tenuous for Rochdale Council to be pretending they are at the heart of the tour de france!



Lets be fair though....Rochdale has fuck all going for it so needs to grasp onto everything it can with both hands.


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## farmerbarleymow (Jun 23, 2014)

Glitter said:


> Lets be fair though....Rochdale has fuck all going for it so needs to grasp onto everything it can with both hands.


True. Apart from Gracie Fields, it's other well known former resident is not exactly a claim to fame.


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## 19sixtysix (Jun 23, 2014)

Shirl said:


> I don't need to go anywhere, other than to avoid the bastard race. It's coming right past me and I don't like ice cream



Embrace it. Wax and oil polish the road outside your house to make it extra smart


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## Shirl (Jun 23, 2014)

There is so much excitement building in Hebden Bridge, I'm in danger of getting drawn into all this yellow bicycle nonsense


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## Glitter (Jun 23, 2014)

Shirl said:


> There is so much excitement building in Hebden Bridge, I'm in danger of getting drawn into all this yellow bicycle nonsense



I feel like that sometimes.

Then I get stuck behind a tribe of lycra clad bastards when I'm trying to get somewhere and reality reasserts itself


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## Frances Lengel (Jun 23, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> True. Apart from Gracie Fields, it's other well known former resident is not exactly a claim to fame.



What's Lisa Stansfield done to incur your opprobrium?


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## farmerbarleymow (Jun 23, 2014)

Frances Lengel said:


> What's Lisa Stansfield done to incur your opprobrium?



I forgot about her. 

She's OK, and definitely not an embarrassment to the town. 

I actually like Rochdale, for all its faults.


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## farmerbarleymow (Jun 23, 2014)

Glitter said:


> I feel like that sometimes.
> 
> Then I get stuck behind a tribe of lycra clad bastards when I'm trying to get somewhere and reality reasserts itself



Just remember that all those fit men with tight arses wear nowt on underneath that body-hugging lycra.


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## moose (Jun 23, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Just remember that all those fit men with tight arses wear nowt on underneath that body-hugging lycra _pissing themselves as they ride along_.


Fixed that for you.


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## Frances Lengel (Jun 24, 2014)

It's actually _really_ difficult to wilfully piss yourself as you ride a bike - I've done it a couple of times when I've been rained on to the point of saturation and it was a case of straight in the bath and clothes in the wash on getting home, but there are some fairly steep physical and psychological barriers to overcome before you can do it successfully.


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## Glitter (Jun 24, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I forgot about her.
> 
> She's OK, and definitely not an embarrassment to the town.
> 
> I actually like Rochdale, for all its faults.



The Town Hall is a beautiful building.

The town itself badly needs some help.


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## moose (Jul 4, 2014)

This made me laugh Shirl


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## Shirl (Jul 4, 2014)

moose said:


> This made me laugh Shirl


That's brilliant!


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## tufty79 (Jul 5, 2014)

think the 'allez! allez!' est allée completely - successfully avoided any chance of 'trapped by  le tour' rage by sleeping through it 

best of luck, Shirl, Glitter and everyone else in its path...


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## twentythreedom (Jul 5, 2014)

Loads of awesome scenery on the telly  Crowds looked decent too 

Good work, Yorkshire


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## Shirl (Jul 5, 2014)

Our town has been buzzing today. Everyone is so excited about Le Tour coming tomorrow, including me 
I can't help it. I didn't want it, I was totally against it but I've been won over by all the excitement and all the effort put in by just about everyone in Hebden Bridge to make tomorrow an amazing event.
Today we have been partying in the streets all day 
There you go then, forget the thread title, just bring on Le Grand Depart


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## twentythreedom (Jul 5, 2014)

Make sure you post some pics Shirl


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## Shirl (Jul 5, 2014)

twentythreedom said:


> Make sure you post some pics Shirl


Will do


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## OneStrike (Jul 5, 2014)

I loved watching it today, Yorkshire looking beautiful, some of its sheep a bit radioactive though   Will enjoy any native pics you care to share!


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## QueenOfGoths (Jul 5, 2014)

We had a great day, the village was buzzing, it was exciting and I got a free Ibis sponsored small plastic blow up pillow.

All in all I think Yorkshire did le Grand Depart proud


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## twentythreedom (Jul 5, 2014)

WANT 'sponsored small plastic blow up pillow'


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## Utopia (Jul 6, 2014)

Shirl said:


> Our town has been buzzing today. Everyone is so excited about Le Tour coming tomorrow, including me
> I can't help it. I didn't want it, I was totally against it but I've been won over by all the excitement and all the effort put in by just about everyone in Hebden Bridge to make tomorrow an amazing event.
> Today we have been partying in the streets all day
> There you go then, forget the thread title, just bring on Le Grand Depart



I admire the complete turnaround in attitude, sport can do great things now & then!


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## Utopia (Jul 6, 2014)

Great photo as the peloton winds its way through the massive crowds on Cote de Buttertubs yesterday!


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Dunno if I should walk to the end of the road to watch it today or head into town


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

Shirl, you've let me down.  

We had a drive round some of the route yesterday and it is quite exciting to see all the flags and bunting and that. A few 'ey ups' on the road and a 'bit steep this' which amused me. Apparently someone drew a big knob on Ripponden Bank on Friday, which was hastily removed 

I might walk down to Ripponden to watch it (although it's a fucking long walk). Probably won't though. Might watch a bit on the telly so I can see what it's like without having to get off me arse.


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Glitter said:


> Shirl, you've let me down.
> 
> We had a drive round some of the route yesterday and it is quite exciting to see all the flags and bunting and that. A few 'ey ups' on the road and a 'bit steep this' which amused me. Apparently someone drew a big knob on Ripponden Bank on Friday, which was hastily removed
> 
> I might walk down to Ripponden to watch it (although it's a fucking long walk). Probably won't though. Might watch a bit on the telly so I can see what it's like without having to get off me arse.



Was thinking of heading to Ripponden / Greetland but of course there's no buses are there? 

Will have make do with Halifax Road instead.


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

machine cat said:


> Was thinking of heading to Ripponden / Greetland but of course there's no buses are there?
> 
> Will have make do with Halifax Road instead.



I had a look this morning and some are running. I don't really know the numbers tbh. There is a special tour de france section on First Buses which might make it clearer. 

Where are you again? Huddersfield? If you're coming up this end you might be better getting a train to Sowerby Bridge and walking along. Long way though, which is putting me off. (Well, that and the fact I don't really see the point in cycling) 

On of my husband's mates has gone to watch it in Blackley. Apparently he put a pic up on Twitter of his spot at 6am. They won't be going past until this afternoon. Madness!!


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Glitter said:


> I had a look this morning and some are running. I don't really know the numbers tbh. There is a special tour de france section on First Buses which might make it clearer.
> 
> Where are you again? Huddersfield? If you're coming up this end you might be better getting a train to Sowerby Bridge and walking along. Long way though, which is putting me off. (Well, that and the fact I don't really see the point in cycling)
> 
> On of my husband's mates has gone to watch it in Blackley. Apparently he put a pic up on Twitter of his spot at 6am. They won't be going past until this afternoon. Madness!!



Got the kids so a long walk is out of the question - I'll stick with Halifax Road even if it is long and flat. Hanging around Blackley at 6am is just bonkers!


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## Treacle Toes (Jul 6, 2014)

Utopia said:


> Great photo as the peloton winds its way through the massive crowds on Cote de Buttertubs yesterday!
> 
> View attachment 57024



Love this pic!

I am almost tempted to watch some of this online as all the comments I have seen from friends who are mainly refer to the wonderful Yorkshire countryside. Yes, I would be mostly watching for the countryside.


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Rutita1 said:


> Love this pic!
> 
> I am almost tempted to watch some of this online as all the comments I have seen from friends who are mainly refer to the wonderful Yorkshire countryside. Yes, I would be mostly watching for the countryside.



The countryside on this stage won't be as pretty as yesterday as much of the route goes through industrial towns, but at least it's a chance for west/south yorks to show off their best bits


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

machine cat said:


> The countryside on this stage won't be as pretty as yesterday as much of the route goes through industrial towns, but at least it's a chance for west/south yorks to show off their best bits



There's loads of pretty bits on the Barkisland/Greetland bit.


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## _angel_ (Jul 6, 2014)

The narration/ commentary was a total hoot! Anyone else heard it?


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## Ponyutd (Jul 6, 2014)

No word from Shirl eh?
Perhaps she has left early to get a good view at the start at Huntingdon Or waiting at the hospital to see how Cavendish is.

Chapeau Shirl!


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## Shirl (Jul 6, 2014)

Ponyutd said:


> No word from Shirl eh?
> Perhaps she has left early to get a good view at the start at Huntingdon Or waiting at the hospital to see how Cavendish is.
> 
> Chapeau Shirl!


I've just been out with the dogs and the stewards/marshalls are all set up ready along the road. When I got back I cleaned my Brompton ready to take it on the cycle track tomorrow 
Also, cant wait to take some pics as they head past here.


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## Treacle Toes (Jul 6, 2014)

Shirl said:


> Also, cant wait to take some pics as they head past here.



Look forward to seeing them!


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## QueenOfGoths (Jul 6, 2014)

Shirl said:


> I've just been out with the dogs and the stewards/marshalls are all set up ready along the road. When I got back I cleaned my Brompton ready to take it on the cycle track tomorrow
> Also, cant wait to take some pics as they head past here.


I've got some small video clips of them going past (as I'd managed to change the settings to video without realising) butmy camera isn't good enough to take pics of them going past anyway so I pointed the camera in their direction and clicked while I watched them go past.

If you can get somewhere where you can see them coming down/up a hill is try that as it really is a spectacle. Mr. QofG's and my sister in law managed to get a spot to see them coming down towards the hump back bridge at Threshfield while the rest of the family were next to the road. Still exciting though!

Oh and look out for The McCain's lorry, part of the caravan, which got a huge cheer and shouts of "Throw us some chips!" from the crowds. They didn't 

Here's me at our little spot


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## Mogden (Jul 6, 2014)

Aren't we so very British. The ITV coverage this morning has said there were complaints about the huge number of spectators(!) 

I love the majesty of a peleton, the overhead shot of it snaking down roads and then the hum of the pedals as they move heart-stoppingly close to one another.


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## QueenOfGoths (Jul 6, 2014)

I have already said "Oooh doesn't the Minster look lovely"


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

Mogden said:


> Aren't we so very British. The ITV coverage this morning has said there were complaints about the huge number of spectators(!)
> 
> I love the majesty of a peleton, the overhead shot of it snaking down roads and then the hum of the pedals as they move heart-stoppingly close to one another.



Some knob on Ripponden bank has cordoned off his garden and put signs on the wall saying don't lean on it. I suspect he/she is in for a day of agitation.


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## QueenOfGoths (Jul 6, 2014)

Glitter said:


> Some knob on Ripponden bank has cordoned off his garden and put signs on the wall saying don't lean on it. I suspect he/she is in for a day of agitation.


Oh dear


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Packed here in Huddersfield.


 Loving all the beer tents... I mean flags and stuff


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

Shirl, let us know when it gets near yours. I'll start watching it then. 

I'll look for you.


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Result... a bed pillow and a box of Yorkshire tea so far


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## QueenOfGoths (Jul 6, 2014)

machine cat said:


> Result... a bed pillow and a box of Yorkshire tea so far


 Iwanted some Yorkshire tea but didn't get any!!


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

Wankers. Just as they started coming through Ripponden the commentary switched to some church. Changed channel and hoping to see it properly.


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## Shirl (Jul 6, 2014)

First bikes through the village. It was really bloody exciting


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## Shirl (Jul 6, 2014)

I've been outside for 2 hours getting excited. They didn't chuck out much merchandise but I got a key ring for my grandson


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

Just saw one of the riders slap a phone out of someone's hand in Ripponden. Typical cyclist thinking they own the road.


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## farmerbarleymow (Jul 6, 2014)

Glitter said:


> Just saw one of the riders slap a phone out of someone's hand in Ripponden. Typical cyclist thinking they own the road.



That seems odd.  Was it a bystander's phone they slapped out of the person's hand while taking pictures?


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> That seems odd.  Was it a bystander's phone they slapped out of the person's hand while taking pictures?



The spectators were in the road more than the riders would have liked. One of them was not happy about this.


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## farmerbarleymow (Jul 6, 2014)

Glitter said:


> The spectators were in the road more than the riders would have liked. One of them was not happy about this.



The bystander should have put a stick through his spokes for such unsportsmanlike behaviour.


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## Treacle Toes (Jul 6, 2014)

Nice pics Shirl


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## marty21 (Jul 6, 2014)

Just drove through part of the route in Essex,Walthamstow,Leyton & Hackney. There will be traffic mayhem tomorrow!


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## QueenOfGoths (Jul 6, 2014)

Shirl said:


> First bikes through the village. It was really bloody exciting


Great view


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## twentythreedom (Jul 6, 2014)

marty21 said:


> Just drove through part of the route in Essex,Walthamstow,Leyton & Hackney. There will be traffic mayhem tomorrow!


Do they have to ride fixies through Hackney?  They should


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## Mogden (Jul 6, 2014)

I did the cattle grids in Essex in the dark when I did the Dunwich Dynamo. At least they'll be able to see them instead of wondering why the red tail light in front of them is juddering and then a second later realising why like I did.

Good race today though. It's good to know that UK hills really are bloody hard work.


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Nice afternoon out 

 Was still heaving in town when we left... and we 'liberated' some bunting on the walk back home


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## twentythreedom (Jul 6, 2014)

Anyone gonna be spectating tomorrow? Quite fancy it tbh, any urbs got a front garden along the way? We could protest against the elite and quite French nature of it all


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## scifisam (Jul 6, 2014)

Lovely pic, Shirl.

I just realised that the TDF is probably why my daughter's hospital appt has been changed from tomorrow - the route shuts off the roads around the Royal London Hospital. Presumably emergencies appts will still be on though.


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## Shirl (Jul 6, 2014)

e
Post Tour de France drinks in my friend's garden. I take back everything negative I ever said. I've loved the TDF today and it just keeps on giving


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## friedaweed (Jul 6, 2014)

Shirl said:


> I've been outside for 2 hours getting excited. They didn't chuck out much merchandise but I got a key ring for my grandson


I knew you'd tune your mind once you caught an eyeful of arse in lycra


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Oh and look out for The McCain's lorry, part of the caravan, which got a huge cheer and shouts of "Throw us some chips!" from the crowds. They didn't



We all did this too  Still no chips 

The Carrefour float didn't throw me a supermarket either  , but at least the cycling and atmosphere was good.


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

machine cat are you in the region of the Ukranian club on Halifax road?


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## farmerbarleymow (Jul 6, 2014)

friedaweed said:


> I knew you'd tune your mind once you caught an eyeful of arse in lycra



I wonder if cycling is popular with women more than other sports, and whether this is linked to being able to legitimately look at fit tight male arses in skin tight fabric?


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## Glitter (Jul 6, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I wonder if cycling is popular with women more than other sports, and whether this is linked to being able to legitimately look at fit tight male arses in skin tight fabric?



It does fuck all for me tbh.


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## farmerbarleymow (Jul 6, 2014)

Glitter said:


> It does fuck all for me tbh.



I think we need a scientific poll.


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## belboid (Jul 6, 2014)

There was hardly anything being chucked out when they passed us, I was hoping for something from the official opticians. The best float thing was the four pack of Fruit Shoots.  Not on the back of a truck, just four (rather large) bottles of Fruit Shoots trundling down the road, how the driver could see where they were going, gawd knows.

And here's the rear marker riding past the bottom of my road


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

Glitter said:


> machine cat are you in the region of the Ukranian club on Halifax road?



Started off there but moved further towards town.

Exactly where the first video on here was taken:

http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/tour-de-yorkshire-2014-crowds-7379185


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## machine cat (Jul 6, 2014)

The only picture I took:


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## tufty79 (Jul 6, 2014)

ffs. if i'd known there was going to be *free tea* chucked about, i'd have made an effort yesterday


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## Shirl (Jul 6, 2014)

Tour de France, bloody great


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## Lazy Llama (Jul 8, 2014)

I got free tea too. And a squeezy cow keyring, some Haribo and a couple of card things promoting cycling in Yorkshire. 
That was on the Lower Lea Crossing in Docklands where it started pissing it down just before they arrived.


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## Espresso (Jul 8, 2014)

Went to Skipton to watch it. I know less about cycling than your average cat, but it was an ace day out. Beautiful weather, lovely place, easy peasy to get there and back on the train, about a hundred gazillion people all enjoying their day out. Fanbloodytastic. And we had ice cream and beer. 
Bon.


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## Glitter (May 3, 2015)

The fucking Tour de Fucking Yorkshire is coming through today.

Not as big a deal and they are only closing the roads on a rolling basis so it's not as big an inconvenience thankfully. They're doing the route backwards I believe. 

You watching it today Shirl


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## Shirl (May 3, 2015)

Glitter said:


> You watching it today Shirl


I'm not planning on watching it. It's peeing down here so I doubt there will be a party atmosphere in the village like there was last year and also, it's not very 'grand' is it.
We won't be able to take the car out for a couple of hours when it's due here and I still don't know what time that is. 
There's a street party at the Trades but again, as it's peeing down, it will most likely be an indoor street party 
How about you?


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## Glitter (May 3, 2015)

The roads are shutting about half one and reopening after it passes. It's supposed to be by you around 2.40 I think. 

Am I bollocks watching it


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## Dan U (May 3, 2015)

Grumpy Yorkshire folk [emoji41]


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## The Boy (May 3, 2015)

Shirl said:


> I'm not planning on watching it. It's peeing down here so I doubt there will be a party atmosphere in the village like there was last year and also, it's not very 'grand' is it.
> We won't be able to take the car out for a couple of hours when it's due here and I still don't know what time that is.
> There's a street party at the Trades but again, as it's peeing down, it will most likely be an indoor street party
> How about you?



Tbf, the crowds have looked pretty massive on TV, and someone on another board was telling a story of he and group having an impromptu sprint at the finish line of todays's stage and being cheered on by hundreds of people banging the advertising hoardings in encouragement.  

Me and missus would have been down but i have exams in a couple of weeks and have done not nearly enough studying...


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## StoneRoad (May 3, 2015)

hope your weather is better - I'm in N Wales under a blanket of fog. Supposed to be watching Osprey .......... as a break from me dad.


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## Shirl (May 3, 2015)

Dan U said:


> Grumpy Yorkshire folk [emoji41]


The sun is out briefly and Yorkshire folk are smiling now


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## machine cat (May 3, 2015)

Still pissing it down here in Hudds. Fuck leaving the house today!


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## Shirl (May 3, 2015)

Our village reaches fever pitch in the build up


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## Glitter (May 3, 2015)

Dan U said:


> Grumpy Yorkshire folk [emoji41]



I'm a Manc


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## farmerbarleymow (May 3, 2015)

Glitter said:


> I'm a Manc



But don't you live in Yorkshire?  The grumpiness infuses everything, including interlopers.


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## farmerbarleymow (May 3, 2015)

Have you been out on your bike yet Shirl?  Join in the racers and beat them at their own game.


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## farmerbarleymow (May 3, 2015)

Nice view from your house by the way Shirl.  Beats the boring car park and stuff opposite mine.


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## Glitter (May 3, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> But don't you live in Yorkshire?  The grumpiness infuses everything, including interlopers.



I live here yes. I'm also married to a Scouser so I have my own set of problems


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## farmerbarleymow (May 3, 2015)

Glitter said:


> I live here yes. I'm also married to a Scouser so I have my own set of problems



Conflicted loyalties indeed!


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## farmerbarleymow (May 3, 2015)

Any more pictures Shirl?  Or has it all been and gone without anybody bothering?


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## Shirl (May 3, 2015)

Just coming up into the village. Not my photo as we were here...




The Trades Club Street party  My head looks like a white blob on the tree trunk


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## Shirl (May 3, 2015)

More here, farmerbarleymow taken by my next door neighbour


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## The Boy (May 3, 2015)

For all it's had its knockers, the race has had a huge effect on Yorkshire's reputation in the world.  It's the new Belgium 

http://www.lequipe.fr/Cyclisme-sur-route/Actualites/Le-yorkshire-nouvelle-belgique/555806


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## The Boy (May 3, 2015)

Estimated 1.5M spectators road side over the three days.


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## 8den (May 3, 2015)

The Boy said:


> For all it's had its knockers, the race has had a huge effect on Yorkshire's reputation in the world.  It's the new Belgium
> 
> http://www.lequipe.fr/Cyclisme-sur-route/Actualites/Le-yorkshire-nouvelle-belgique/555806



Full of pedophiles  bureaucracy and horrible food?


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## Shirl (May 3, 2015)

The Boy said:


> For all it's had its knockers, the race has had a huge effect on Yorkshire's reputation in the world.  It's the new Belgium
> 
> http://www.lequipe.fr/Cyclisme-sur-route/Actualites/Le-yorkshire-nouvelle-belgique/555806


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