# The Histories of Bouldergloves - A Dwarf Fortress Succession Game



## Crispy (Apr 27, 2013)

Spoiler: WTF is this



This is a Succession Game of Dwarf Fortress, the world's most complex videogame. It is a city-building/management game about taking a small band of dwarves (you know, beards, axes, mining, metalsmithing) and keeping them alive in an ever-expanding underground fortress whilst fighting off the evils of the world.. The depth and breadth of the simulation allows for all sorts of emergent storytelling in a unique and slightly off-kilter fantasy world. The game keeps track of every last detail, down to the individual limbs, bones, teeth and psychological preferences of each character. This information is then easily turned into an entertaining narrative. We will be taking turns as overseer of the fortress, one year at a time from Spring to the following Spring. Who knows where the story will go?


 
Here is how it began.

“One hundred twenty five years now.”
treefrog looked at me with resigned eyes and replied.
“And may she reign for another one hundred twenty five.”
I knew she did not mean it, for I would not and we share outlooks.
“It is not natural.”
“Who are you to judge, Crispy? Eweecamo means The Enchanted Universes. Our world is named for strangeness.”
“Nonetheless. She lives too long.”
We did not speak it. Many suspected it. But we knew it. Queen Udil Unibardes is a vampire. Despite small skills in combat, she has never been defeated. Despite two hundred three years since birth, she does not age. The good dwarves of The Bells pay a dear price for her strength and youth. treefrog has good counting and has studied records. She counts seven hundred thirty one dwarves killed for their blood in all history of capital city Sackwalk. Five hundred ten humans also. She is greedy.







treefrog maintained a grim face.
“You speak common truth. It is surplus speech. If you have novel thoughts, come, share them.”
I allowed a small smile.
“I have many thoughts, but I will be concise. Eweecamo is a world of lands within one ocean. This we know from the humans, who have sailed. To the West, humans and goblins live on an island without mountains. To the Northwest, all lands are empty and flat. But to the North, there is a land of mountains. Empty mountains.”






treefrog allowed a small smile.
“You say enough, Crispy. Your thoughts are made clear. When do we act?”
“I have contact with dwarves in the human capital Lockbraided. They live with humans and worship their gods, but sympathise with the Mountainhomes. They are familiar with ships. Spring weather will soon favour us. We must assemble a party. Not large, to avoid noticing.”
“I know just the Dwarves.”
I knew that she would.

So this is how seven good dwarves of The Bells of Thinning set sail in the year 126 for the North Land, to make a Mountainhome free from the undead tyranny of Queen Udil.

They were:

*"Crispy" Ottanalath, Expedition leader*. A competent architect and mechanic, he has long straight hair and is active, but prefers to be alone.
*"rich!" Nulralfath, Miner*. She is very muscular but is lacking in linguistic and creative skills.
*"treefrog" Ezumzenon, Miner*. She is indefatigable and strives for excellence, but does not like compromise.
*"Fridgemagnet" Uzolarzes, Craftsdwarf and Trader*. Organized and confident, but he is given to procrastination.
*"stuff_it" Uthirdeler, Carpenter and Lumberjack*. She likes helping others, but tires quickly.
*"fractionman" Ottarevost, Farmer*. She is agile, but has an iffy memory and does not trust others.
*"tommers" Monomgur, Farmer*. She is very fat, loves a good thrill and can handle stress.





Spoiler: How did you choose the names? Can I be a dwarf?



I just went back through theDwarf Fortress thread and added posters' names. If you would like to be immortalised as a dwarf of Bouldergloves, just say so and I'll add you to the list. All the descriptions are fresh out of the game btw. No embellishments.


 
First diary entry coming soon!


----------



## Crispy (Apr 27, 2013)

This is the history of Spring.

We sailed with the first frostless dawn and made landfall soon after. It is hot here, and humid. Swamp and jungle for many miles. But the horizon menaces with peaks of granite. The mountains call to us. The new year will bring settlement and respite from travelling under open sky. We shall strike the earth!





This is our new homeland

*1st Granite, 127*





Well well well, here we all are then.

Today we reach the foot of the mountain. Trees crowd the swamp. A brook spills from the earth. The hillside streaks with seams of Hematite and Limonite for iron and Bituminous Coal for smelting. A good place for settling. I stand on the cart and make proclamation. I designate a simple tunnel, clear of the trees. Despite calm surroundings, we must make secure our supplies. treefrog and rich! heft picks and dig.





Mmmmm. Lovely ore.

No soil near the mountain means farming under the trees. I drive a short tunnel to the East. We begin to move our goods underground.






*12th Granite, 127*

Kodol protect us! Rain is falling. Not water, but blood. Human blood by the smell. What evil could cause such a thing? It coats us all as we work outdoors.






18th Granite, 127





You've got red on you

The rain has stopped, but coats us all. It is a bad omen. What horrors can exist in a land of raining blood? I order a covering for our entrance, a raising bridge also. All dwarves are permitted masonry. The swamp does not suffer the hideous rain: It would be a better location to enter the fort.





The land is soaked with blood. The construction site is soaked with blood.

*27th Granite, 127*

Grasshopper Men and Mosquito Men. Their monstrous forms flit over the bloodsoaked hills, but do not threaten. A flock of giant thrips flits over the river. They are chitinous, but do not threaten. If the only true evil here is blood rain, I believe we can suffer it.






*19th Felsite, 127*

We cannot live under the blood rain. We will build Bouldergloves East. Bouldergloves West will be vacated. I designate for the future, but deny excess digging. We will have a grand meeting room. A bedroom for every dwarf. Efficient workshops and stockpiles. Clean water. A hospital. No human blood trod into the staircase.






Summer approaches. I am hopeful for the future.


----------



## TruXta (Apr 27, 2013)

Good stuff. I don't have the patience for anything like that but I do enjoy reading about it.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 28, 2013)

This is the history of Summer



*17th Hematite, 127*

Our basic needs are met. The farm is productive of dimple cup and plum helmet mushrooms. fractionMan farms. tommers brews.





Busy farmers

Fridgemagnet crafts with stone, for Autumn trading. treefrog and rich! progress Bouldergloves East. stuff_it fells trees and makes storage. I orchestrate from a place of comfort.






*22nd Hematite, 127*






rich! interrupts my calm with news. Gold! All dwarves have hearts lifted by news. I order celebratory feast.






tommers has waited many months to be first chef of Bouldergloves. Her imagination is constrained by available ingredients.






*4th Malachite, 127*
Constructing mountainhome is reward in itself. But true meaning is given by attracting others. That meaning now comes with immigrants from the mainland. Four married pairs of fresh hands, plus one child. They are:

*"beesonthewhatnow" Onulinash, fisher*. Skinny and emerald-eyed, with a feel for music.
His wife *"@Garek" Dakasgeshud, miner*. Impatient and clumsy, but happy and optimistic.
*"JimW" Onulthak, ranger*. Stong and muscular with good kinesthetics. Talks to himself when stressed.
His wife *"Citizen66" Zalissodel, furnace operator*. She has a clean shaven head and a fertile imagination.
*"rubbershoes" Zimbomrek, bone carver*. Incredibly tough, with very long braided beard, moustache and sideburns, but otherwise bald. Tone deaf.
His wife *"TruXta" Kokebtubul, farmer*. Her eyes bulge and she doesn't handle stress well. But she has good memory, kinesthetics and intellect.
*"Bob_the_lost" Likototsus, furnace operator*. Short and flimsy, he has a way with words and a good feel for social relationships.
His wife *"el_ahrairah" Roldethobok, farmer*. Fat and tough, she has natural musical ability.
*Athel Belalgusil*, their child. He is three years old and very fat. He touches people when he's nervous. We shall name him properly soon.


Spoiler: that means



I need volunteers for dwarf names!


 





They have walked through the blood. They are covered in it. I designate swamp pond as water source. They should clean themselves. They bring no surprises. Queen Udil still reigns with terror.






Arrivals gather in the meeting room for meeting. All are welcomed and the ale flows. I tend my notes and assign labours. Garek will mine. With spare hands for hauling, all miners are forbidden hauling. Sorry bees, no fishing: It encourages surface wandering. We have ore, we have coal and now we have two furnace operators. Bob_the_lost and Citizen66 will soon smelt. el_ahrairah will relieve tommers of farming, so that he may brew and cook freely. JimW is candidate for marksdwarfship, once we have crossbows. rubbershoes will haul. TruXta will haul. Child Athel will annoy.

*11th Malachite, 127*






Annoyance. A wolverine pesters JimW as he pastures animals. It does not attack, and JimW does not falter in his labour, but it must not be permitted entrance. I examine the creature from a distance. It is gigantic for its kind, but I feel it can be taken. stuff_it has some martial skill with her axe. I order the attack.






Battle is joined on blood hill. stuff_it approaches from the East.



Spoiler: Full Battle Report










 
The wolverine is agile and strikes first. stuff_it dodges and counterattacks, inflicting a small scratch. The animal bites her foot, but stuff_it soon shakes it loose and commences attack. She ignores her axe and grabs the wolverine by its leg, punching its limbs and body. Its rear paw is shattered. She charges the wolverine and knocks it over, before gripping its neck in a strangle hold.






The wolverine is soon dead. First battle honour of Bouldergloves to stuff_it.





*14th Malachite, 127*

Three miners make excavation of Bouldergloves East rapid.






*22nd Malachite, 127*

Fool crispy! I did not designate clearly. Mineshaft was sunk without my consent. We have breached caverns unprepared. Hasty construction orders will wall them off.






The surface ponds evaporate in the stifling summer heat. I am glad to be underground. The brook still flows, and we will tap it soon. It is fortunate that does not evaporate.






*13th Galena, 127*

A herd of Anaconda People have been spotted far to the East. A wolverine bothers them. We do not interfere.






*28th Galena, 127*

Bouldergloves West is demolished. There is no sentiment for the home under the blood. Bouldergloves East should be complete by year's end. We endure.


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 28, 2013)

Hang on... I see my name


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Apr 28, 2013)

You're quite wonderfully mental.


----------



## TruXta (Apr 28, 2013)

This is ace.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 28, 2013)

fractionMan said:


> Hang on... I see my name


I'm naming them after people who posted on the other dwarf fortress thread. I'm going to run out of names pretty soon though.


----------



## fuck seals (Apr 28, 2013)

Crispy said:


> I'm naming them after people who posted on the other dwarf fortress thread. I'm going to run out of names pretty soon though.


i'm immediately offering up the name of the Seals clan.

alos downloading ... must get out moar

is there a way to co-op?


----------



## stuff_it (Apr 28, 2013)

Crispy said:


> I'm naming them after people who posted on the other dwarf fortress thread. I'm going to run out of names pretty soon though.


Perhaps a naming theme then? Or start working your way through posters on the rest of the gaming form, followed by the computers and tech forum, and so on.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 28, 2013)

fuck seals said:


> alos downloading ... must get out moar
> 
> is there a way to co-op?


 
Passing the save file back and forth is as good as it gets. You can pause the game at will, so true co-op would be impossible (or just very annoying)

I will add your name to the list, and otherwise just go throught the gaming forum, good idea


----------



## TruXta (Apr 28, 2013)

You need a kabbes soon, for accounts, when all that gold streams in.


----------



## fuck seals (Apr 28, 2013)

TruXta said:


> You need a kabbes soon, for accounts, when all that gold streams in.


 
Fuck Seals is strictly interested in animal husbandry.  marine if possible.


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 29, 2013)

moar!


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Apr 29, 2013)

TruXta said:


> You need a kabbes soon, for accounts, when all that gold streams in.


There is actually a bookkeeper position, which is quite important if you want to keep track of your fortress' stocks.

Crispy What graphics pack are you using? I've had problems with passing save files back and forward between different setups, because some of the graphics packs seem to hack the raws in the save files, so everything then looks odd when you try to view them in standard ASCII.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 29, 2013)

I'm using Phoebus, which is included in the Lazy Newb Pack. No other hacks or mods (apart from dwarf therapist).
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=57557.0


----------



## spirals (Apr 29, 2013)

This has given me dwarf fortess lust again! Feel free to use my name


----------



## Crispy (Apr 29, 2013)

fractionMan said:


> moar!


Oh have no fear 
It's actually quite a different experience playing for an audience. I'm role-playing much more; not focusing on making the optimum fort, but doing interesting things for the writeup.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2013)

This is the history of Autumn

*11th Limestone, 127*

Bouldergloves West prospers. All dwarves will soon have bedrooms. All workshops have proximity to stockpiles. Great Hall becomes greater every day. I busy myself with smoothing.






*16th Limestone, 127*

With major excavations complete, I order a cistern. Water will be drawn in the main hall, where dwarves may admire wells.






*10th Sandstone, 127*

The Great Hall is structurally complete. A seam of Hematite streaks the floor. Eight mighty columns hold the ceiling. treefrog tells me that they are wider than they are tall, and therefore not columns. I tell her I am overseer and they are columns. One day perhaps, the roof can be raised. Smoothing will come.






*14th Sandstone, 127*

If tradition is maintained and the terrain does not claim them, traders from the mountainhomes will arrive soon. I inspect the finished goods for Fridgemagnet's cratfsdwarfship.






This is a fine piece. It depicts hero of the mountainhomes and will make good trade.






What mystery! I was certain that Bouldergloves was first settlement of dwarves in all North land. Yet here is depiction of a dwarf here in 126. Now this we know: the Lore is the Lore. It manifests itself through crafting unbidden by the craftsdwarf. Fridgemagnet could not have known what he made. But the knowledge he has received shocks me. What dwarves came here eighteen months ago? What became of them? This item shall not be traded. It shall be kept for further study. I order construction of museum room off Great Hall in preparation.






*22nd Sandstone, 127*

More migrants wade through the blood to Bouldergloves. Two married peasant couples. They are brave. They are:

*"Old Gergl" Keshannil, Dissector*. Short, fat and cautious. He will stay inside and perform menial labour.
His wife, *"kabbes" Uzoletest, Milker*. Organised and calm, with heavy eyebrows. She will make an excellent record keeper.
*"bi0boy" Sazirmonang, Soap Maker*. Incredibly muscular, mighty and confident. He will be the second soldier.
His wife, *"spirals" Rakustkilrud, Farmer*. She is muscular, strong and agile, but unassertive. She will be the third soldier.


----------



## Crispy (Apr 30, 2013)

(continued...)

*4th Timber, 127*

The cistern is complete. Pressure plate is linked to inlet bridge. When cistern is full, bridge will raise, blocking water. When cistern empties, bridge will lower, permitting water. Lever will close bridge in case of seige by swimming creatures. I perform work myself.






*12th Timber, 127*

Citizen66 has abandoned his furnace. The stone calls to him and he must answer. 





He gathers Chert, Granite and Mica. We await his creation.

*15th Timber, 127*

Citizen66 is not lazy.






It will be great honour for goods to be stored in such a noble coffer. It is also great honour for Citizen66 who is now legendary mason. He is assigned own workshop for production of furniture only. All citizens of Bouldergloves will sit on thrones.

*16th Timber, 127*






The brook is breached and water flows. The cistern begins to fill.






The cistern overspills.






But the pressure plate performs well. The inlet is closed.






I order the mouth of the cistern walled off.

*17th Timber, 127*

As expected, the caravan has been sighted. They will be here soon and I anticipate worthwhile trading. Fridgemagnet will broker the deal.

*18th Timber, 127*

A kobold sneaks into the fort. I order stuff_it to pursue. She is not close. The kobold escapes.






The kobold flees directly into path of incoming caravan.






The kobold is fast. The guards are slow. The kobold escapes without a scratch.






*19th Timber, 127*






Construction of cistern wall is slow. Dwarves make small contribution, then complain of wet feet. Old Gergl persists and completes one tile. He tells me of time when construction site was dry before cistern filling. I ignore him.






*22nd Timber, 127*

Fridgemagnet arrives at trade depot. Now we will know value of our labours.






Eight hundred fifty coins. That is small amount. I gaze with longing eyes at steel weapons. We settle for cheese and meat for meal variety, thread, cloth and plaster for stocking future hospital. We top up our alcohol stocks. This is all that Bouldergloves can afford. I am ashamed. Next year, we shall rain golden crafts on this wagon.

*23rd Timber, 127*

Another thief. This time, caravan guards are ready. Macedwarf Zulban ends things quickly with a flurry of blows.


Spoiler: Battle Report











*24th Timber, 127*

I place final block in cistern wall myself. Now we have secure water supply, ready for construction of well.






Timber has been a busy month for Bouldergloves. Water works. Artifact construction. Trading. Thieves. The weather is cooling and surface ponds are refilling. Winter approaches and with it consolidation. Bouldergloves East still requires hospital, barracks, refuse pile, security from the surface. As my year of overseeing approaches its end, I must look to the future and ensure all is in place for the handover of power.


----------



## Crispy (May 2, 2013)

This is the history of Winter

*2nd Moonstone, 127*

The caravan guard beat another kobold into bloody pulp. Trade depot must be better protected in future.






*3rd Moonstone, 127*






I place Citizen66's magnificent chert coffer in the Great Hall where it might inspire us all. It is engraved with an image of itself. I have not looked too closely at the engraving for I fear the infinite.






kabbes is promoted to bookkeeper and manager. He is granted office space and immediately begins counting. That dwarf likes counting.






*10th Moonstone, 127*

Wealth and industry require mining. I designate exploratory tunnel Westward, under the hills of ore and coal. Bouldergloves will be rich and prosperous.






Outdoors, blood rains. Safe underground, hematite, limonite and bituminous coal surrender to picks.

*



*

*21st Moonstone, 127*

The merchants depart. I realise too late they had a cat for sale. We need a cat to control vermin.

*



*

*9th Opal, 127*

Winter is calm. After excitement of Autumn, it is relief. I plot mine tunnels to visible ore in blood hill.






The Great Hall has been completed to a satisfactory quality. Walls are smoothed and fresh water is available for drinking. Rocks are untidy. I designate dumping.

*



*

*23rd Opal, 127*






I am visited by the outpost liason. They will make trade next year and wish to know our needs. I request cat, alcohol, seeds and cheese. Geshud makes good offer for cut gems and various crafts. These should be priority for industry in 128.

*



*

*9th Obsidian, 127*

Every dwarf is busy. This is good, for idleness breeds intimacy and intimacy breeds breeding and breeding breeds children who cannot labour. But hauling distracts from useful labour. Barrels, doors and metalwork are going unmade. I deny hauling to craftsdwarves citizen66, stuff_it, Fridgemagnet and rubbershoes. Migrants are welcome in Bouldergloves, for there is much labour.

*19th Obsidian, 127*

I set citizen66 to statuary, to provide ornament for Great Hall. He carves statue of another dwarf of the mystery 126 settlement of North land. I am unsettled, but it is a masterful artwork that will bring joy to all dwarves.





*20th Obsidian, 127*






It seems that the creative spirits are restless. First citizen66 recieves unbidden knowledge of mystery dwarf. Now el_ahrairah, a dwarf of no notable creativity, has been possessed. She rushes to the Great Hall, perhaps to receive inspiration. The child Athel observes.

*



*

*26th Obsidian, 127*

el_ahrairah remains transfixed in the Great Hall. It is worrying. I am carrying ore with Truxta, who reminds me that we have a limited range of workshops. el_ahrairah must desire one that we lack. Her tanning skill is middling, so a temporary leatherworks is built. She remains immobile.

*28th Obsidian, 127*

Desperation. All around el_ahrairah, I order workshop construction. What manner of craftsdwarf does she wish to be?






Jeweler? No. Clothier? No. Glassmaker? No.

If we do not provide her with the tools and materials the spirits command, she will surely go insane. As I haul rock away from panic site, rubbershoes taps me on the shoulder. I am reminded. It is midnight. My reign ends. My successor must have high skill in running when hitting ground.


----------



## el-ahrairah (May 2, 2013)

Crispy said:


> I'm naming them after people who posted on the other dwarf fortress thread. I'm going to run out of names pretty soon though.


 
*volunteers name*

i am glad i read this thread.  it is interesting.


----------



## Crispy (May 2, 2013)

el-ahrairah said:


> *volunteers name*
> 
> i am glad i read this thread. it is interesting.


You're in there already and are the star of the show in the last update


----------



## el-ahrairah (May 2, 2013)

Crispy said:


> It seems that the creative spirits are restless. First citizen66 recieves unbidden knowledge of mystery dwarf. Now el_ahrairah, a dwarf of no notable creativity, has been possessed. She rushes to the Great Hall, perhaps to receive inspiration. The child Athel observes.
> 
> *
> 
> ...


 

eeek, you're way ahead of me.  and creepily.  WHAT HAPPENS TO POSSESSED DWARF ME?


----------



## el-ahrairah (May 2, 2013)

Crispy said:


> You're in there already and are the star of the show in the last update


 
just seen


----------



## Crispy (May 2, 2013)

Here's plans of the whole fort, from surface to 9 levels down



Spoiler


----------



## Crispy (May 2, 2013)

el-ahrairah said:


> eeek, you're way ahead of me. and creepily. WHAT HAPPENS TO POSSESSED DWARF ME?


Well that is a problem for the next overseer! Who's it to be? rich! FridgeMagnet tommers come on down!


----------



## Stigmata (May 2, 2013)

This is the best thing


----------



## rich! (May 2, 2013)

How many calendar hours does this year represent?


----------



## Crispy (May 2, 2013)

rich! said:


> How many calendar hours does this year represent?


I reckon 2 hours per season, so 8. No need to be as detailed or regular as my updates if need be.


----------



## 8ball (May 2, 2013)

Hmmm, from the look of this I'm definitely more of a _Skyrim_ guy.

On a console.
While eating _Pot Noodle_.


----------



## el-ahrairah (May 2, 2013)

8ball said:


> Hmmm, from the look of this I'm definitely more of a _Skyrim_ guy.
> 
> On a console.
> While eating _Pot Noodle_.


 
scum.


subhuman scum.


----------



## tommers (May 2, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Well that is a problem for the next overseer! Who's it to be? rich! FridgeMagnet tommers come on down!


 
I'm going to need more time.  I'm still jumping off that cliff.


----------



## tommers (May 2, 2013)

8ball said:


> Hmmm, from the look of this I'm definitely more of a _Skyrim_ guy.
> 
> On a console.
> While eating _Pot Noodle_.


 
I pity you.  I bet you like Mild Cheddar too.


----------



## 8ball (May 3, 2013)

tommers said:


> I pity you. I bet you like Mild Cheddar too.


 
I draw the line at Limburger.


----------



## treefrog (May 3, 2013)

EEEEEEEE I'M A DWARF!!!!!


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

treefrog said:


> EEEEEEEE I'M A DWARF!!!!!


----------



## treefrog (May 3, 2013)

"A short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry"


----------



## 8ball (May 3, 2013)

"An iffy memory and meager creativity"


----------



## fractionMan (May 3, 2013)

Do me! Do me!


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

fractionMan said:


> Do me! Do me!


----------



## fractionMan (May 3, 2013)

Bald


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

You both share a hate of snails


----------



## fractionMan (May 3, 2013)

Not sure about "sewer brew"


----------



## 8ball (May 3, 2013)

I thought these were player profiles - is that some output based on your username or something?


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 3, 2013)

Fisher berries are easier to get hold of than alpaca cheese, though.


----------



## stuff_it (May 3, 2013)

Crispy said:


> You both share a hate of snails


Where's mine?


----------



## 8ball (May 3, 2013)

stuff_it said:


> Where's mine?


 
Me too!


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 3, 2013)

8ball said:


> I thought these were player profiles - is that some output based on your username or something?


Every dwarf has a huge list of personal abilities and preferences, which affect what decisions they make and how good they are at things. (Well, some of them do, some are irrelevant in practice.) They also have moods which are affected by their situation and also their abilities and preferences - so if you have a poor aesthetic sensibility, you don't get a lot out of looking at artwork for instance (I'm guessing that one but it sounds believable).


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

8ball said:


> I thought these were player profiles - is that some output based on your username or something?


I've renamed all the dwarves in the fort, but these are the in-game thoughts and preferences of each one. If I have some Fisher Berries in my food stocks, and Fractionman eats them, he will be a happy dwarf 


stuff_it said:


> Where's mine?




It's a shame you didn't sustain any wounds in that fight with the wolverine, or you'd have some scars listed here.


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

8ball said:


> Me too!


You're not a dwarf yet. Need more immigrants.


----------



## 8ball (May 3, 2013)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Every dwarf has a huge list of personal abilities and preferences, which affect what decisions they make and how good they are at things. (Well, some of them do, some are irrelevant in practice.) They also have moods which are affected by their situation and also their abilities and preferences - so if you have a poor aesthetic sensibility, you don't get a lot out of looking at artwork for instance (I'm guessing that one but it sounds believable).


 
Is this randomly generated for each character or seeded by their name?

See, I'm beginning to get interested - that's why I try to avoid these intricate indie games - I lost a lot of the noughties to them...


----------



## treefrog (May 3, 2013)

8ball said:


> "An iffy memory and meager creativity"


Seems legit...


----------



## 8ball (May 3, 2013)

Crispy said:


> You're not a dwarf yet. Need more immigrants.


 
As a guess, I imagine I would be fond of drink and industry.


----------



## stuff_it (May 3, 2013)

Crispy said:


> I've renamed all the dwarves in the fort, but these are the in-game thoughts and preferences of each one. If I have some Fisher Berries in my food stocks, and Fractionman eats them, he will be a happy dwarf
> 
> View attachment 32134
> 
> It's a shame you didn't sustain any wounds in that fight with the wolverine, or you'd have some scars listed here.


A heavy drinker, bed admirer  and a member of the Lean Rim, whatever that is...


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

8ball said:


> Is this randomly generated for each character or seeded by their name?
> 
> See, I'm beginning to get interested - that's why I try to avoid these intricate indie games - I lost a lot of the noughties to them...


They're random. Sometimes you get really awesome ones, like the extremely muscular, agile dwarf who loved a good thrill and rarely procrastinated in my last fortress. He was my star axedwarf and was always first to the fight


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

stuff_it said:


> A heavy drinker and a member of the Lean Rim, whatever that is...


The Lean Rim is the (randomly generated) name of the branch of dwarven civilization represented by the members of the fortress. All the dwarves in this (randomly generated) world are members of The Bells of Thinning, but Dwarves who live in Bouldergloves are also members of the Lean Rim.


----------



## tommers (May 3, 2013)

8ball said:


> I thought these were player profiles - is that some output based on your username or something?


 
They're descriptions of each and every dwarf in the whole game. They lend background and flavour, and also hint on how to please them, or what jobs they like doing.

In Skyrim the closest equivalent is the attribute scores they got rid of in order to streamline the player experience and make every single character exactly the same.  Or maybe the character classe....

Oh.  Yeah.


----------



## tommers (May 3, 2013)

Where's me?


----------



## stuff_it (May 3, 2013)

Hang about, aren't all dwarves 'a short study creature, fond of drink and industry'? Or is that drwarvist stereotyping...


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

stuff_it said:


> Hang about, aren't all dwarves 'a short study creature, fond of drink and industry'? Or is that drwarvist stereotyping...


Yep, that's the base description for the "Dwarf" creature type. Also, they all need alcohol to get through the working day 


tommers said:


> Where's me?


----------



## tommers (May 3, 2013)

"Tommers Paperbowel"?



I don't think I'm long for that world.


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Every dwarf has a huge list of personal abilities and preferences, which affect what decisions they make and how good they are at things. (Well, some of them do, some are irrelevant in practice.) They also have moods which are affected by their situation and also their abilities and preferences - so if you have a poor aesthetic sensibility, you don't get a lot out of looking at artwork for instance (I'm guessing that one but it sounds believable).


Hmm. You sound like a knowledgeable dwarf fortress player. Do you fancy taking a turn as overseer of Bouldergloves?


----------



## tommers (May 3, 2013)

FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet,FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet,FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, FridgeMagnet, etc.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 3, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Hmm. You sound like a knowledgeable dwarf fortress player. Do you fancy taking a turn as overseer of Bouldergloves?


Oh okay then, but if I can't get the graphics version to work I might ask you to turn them off and do another save. (If I'm going to post screenshots they should really be of a graphical version if possible or people will get even more confused.)


----------



## Crispy (May 3, 2013)

Good man  PM sent.


----------



## Radar (May 7, 2013)

moar dwarves

<thumps tankard>


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 7, 2013)

Okay, I actually did some but it's not nearly at Crispy levels of detail in the first month. Hold on a bit.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (May 7, 2013)

holds breath in anticipation


----------



## emanymton (May 7, 2013)

Crispy said:


> I reckon 2 hours per season, so 8. No need to be as detailed or regular as my updates if need be.





Crispy said:


> Spoiler: WTF is this
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Just finished a week off work and now I see this thread 

Just downloaded it and didn't have a clue what was going on. Don't know when or if i will have time to get into it properly.


----------



## Crispy (May 7, 2013)

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=59026.0 - install it. use a tileset.
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Quickstart_guide - follow it word for word page for page.


----------



## emanymton (May 7, 2013)

Crispy said:


> http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=59026.0 - install it. use a tileset.
> http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Quickstart_guide - follow it word for word page for page.


Thanks, I'll have a play around


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 8, 2013)

A new month of Granite calls for a new broom, and as I look around me there is a lot of sweeping that needs to be done. Usually of rocks. What are all these rocks lying about for? This is certainly something that needs addressing, but first of all this strange mood that el_ahrairah is in needs addressing, as she is standing around by a staircase and making the place look untidy. What on earth sort of facilities can she need? Apparently she is skilled at tanning and dying, and we have a tanning shop which she is not using so it can't be that, so I conclude that we must need a dying shop to satisfy her peculiar urges.

This is of course where things fall apart. I attempt to order the construction of a dyer's shop, only to be told that I need a bucket free of milk or lye to do this. Reasonable enough. I then attempt to put out an order to build a bucket, which sits on the list indefinitely, unplanned by that frankly idle so-and-so kabbes who is technically our "manager". (I also discover that she has been shirking on the precision of her bookkeeping, which I rectify.)

To distract myself I at least manage to order the construction of chests and wardrobes for the various bedrooms:



and also have Citizen66 build some more statues to brighten the place up. I am somewhat suspicious of her choice of subject though - out of all the statues of individuals carved so far, two are of stuff_it and none of anyone else in the party, even though she claims her to be just a "casual acquaintance". 

 
 

Eventually I track kabbes down to where she is moving rocks about in a tunnel. There is a _time and a place_ for that sort of fun, and right now work needs doing. Eventually a work order is assigned but nobody seems to want to fulfil it - I have to interrupt my own party at mica Table so that I can build the damned bucket myself. Only to find that we have *run out of wood!* And so trees must be chopped and wood hauled and eventually we have a bucket and I attempt to have a dyer's shop built but am told once more that this is impossible because a lye/milk-free bucket is needed. _What is this then? What did I just build? Has somebody been sneaking milk and/or lye into my bucket?_

At least the approach of a Goblin thief is something of a distraction. I send stuff_it out to practice her axedwarfship by dispatching this scavenging parasite, and perhaps convincing its fellows to bother somebody else (though why they would want to visit a place where it _rains human blood_ in the first place escapes me) but from her report the fight does not go as well as it might.




Now, the alert student of military practice might observe a slightly unusual technique here - where the militia commander eschews the more traditional use of the battle axe and instead _bites the goblin in the lower body_. The result of this is that in fact she is stabbed in the foot.

I am suspicious once more of something involving stuff_it as she seems altogether far too happy about all this.



And is now spending her time lying about in bed.



And we still do not have a dyer's shop.



I think I know how she feels quite frankly.


----------



## Crispy (May 8, 2013)

poor el-ahrairah


----------



## Stigmata (May 8, 2013)

I do hope that 'lower body' isn't a euphemism in that battle report


----------



## stuff_it (May 8, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> I do hope that 'lower body' isn't a euphemism in that battle report


----------



## el-ahrairah (May 9, 2013)

poor melancholic dwarf me


----------



## Crispy (May 9, 2013)

el-ahrairah said:


> poor melancholic dwarf me


It is a sorry state 



> Melancholy
> <dwarf> is stricken by melancholy!
> Stricken by melancholy...
> The afflicted is overcome by depression and will seek out ways to end their life, considerably slowing their movement in the process. If they cannot find a cliff to jump off of or water/magma to drown/burn up in, they will simply starve themselves to death. Be warned that a melancholy mother may take her baby's life with her own if she still carries it.
> Dwarves with high depression are more likely to be stricken by melancholy.


----------



## 8ball (May 9, 2013)

Crispy said:


> It is a sorry state


 
Can't they be cheered up by a bit of drink an industry?


----------



## Crispy (May 9, 2013)

8ball said:


> Can't they be cheered up by a bit of drink an industry?


Nope, once a dwarf goes insane, it cannot come back. Death is the only release.


----------



## tommers (May 9, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Nope, once a dwarf goes insane, it cannot come back. Death is the only release.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 9, 2013)

Some migrants arrived - are there any outstanding names to be added?


----------



## el-ahrairah (May 9, 2013)

8ball said:


> Can't they be cheered up by a bit of drink an industry?


 
doesn't work for me...


----------



## Crispy (May 9, 2013)

FridgeMagnet said:


> Some migrants arrived - are there any outstanding names to be added?


fuck-seals (animal husbandry, esp. marine, preferred)
Stigmata
8ball
Radar
emanymton

and that's the queue, AFAIK.
don't know if it's rude to just start using random urbanites' names, but I did find that nicknaming them made them much easier to remember. The random dwarfy names just don't stick in the mind.

Oh, and don't bother naming children, cos they're useless for anything particularly interesting.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (May 9, 2013)

I don't mind being a dwarf.

Also are these dwarfs, dwarves or dwarrows?


----------



## Crispy (May 9, 2013)

Oh yeah, shippy too!

Dwarves, right there in the official URL: http://bay12games.com/dwarves/


----------



## starfish (May 12, 2013)

Can i be a dwarf? Sounds like fun.


----------



## Crispy (May 16, 2013)

Any news from the mountainhomes?


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (May 16, 2013)

This is quite possible my favourite thread in over 10 years of posting here.

You're all nuts.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 16, 2013)

Yeah, I need to get with this. Sorry, I've been really busy recently. I'll burn through a few months at a time. Who wants it next btw?


----------



## DexterTCN (May 16, 2013)

Crispy that is wonderful story-telling 

dwarf me


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 24, 2013)

All right, so things have clearly got in the way of dwarfing for me, so I need to hand the fortress over to somebody who will actually update it - however I do still have a couple of final updates to post.

I shall be doing it in the medium of interpretative dance.


```
O
--+--
  |
 / \
/   \

  O /
 -+-
/ |
 / \
/   \

\ O /
 -+-
  |
 / \
/   \

  O
--+--
  |
 / \
/   \
```



Spoiler



Citizen66 has given birth to a boy, but the increasingly withdrawn el_ahrairah has had a miscarriage. Also the fortress is running low on booze. And nobody is bringing water to the malingering stuff_it because everyone seems to be scared of buckets.

We attempt to brighten up lives by cutting gems repeatedly, as well as smelting steel and making armour with it. Everyone likes armour. Surely.




```
\ O /
 -+-
  |
 / \
/   \

  O /
 -+-
/ |
-- \
    \

\ O
 -+-
  | \
 / --
/
```



Spoiler



Time passes. There is a disgusting miasma in the fortress now. Where on earth did that come from?





```
\ O /
 -+-
  |
 / \
/   \

  O /
 -+-
/ |
-- \
    \

\ O
 -+-
  | \
 / --
/
```



Spoiler



oh

 

I suppose we need to build a coffin now.




```
--O--
  |
-- --
```



Spoiler



Zefon Ukerlogem, one of the migrants who did not receive new names in time, has been taken by a fey mood. Great. And has claimed a craftsdwarf's workshop. And now begun a mysterious construction!

And it turns out to be...

 

A palm mini-forge. Yes, a miniature forge, which is useless in itself, but this one is made out of palm. Well done.

 

Although, rather cunningly, it is engraved with an engraving _of itself_. In palm, obviously.


----------



## stuff_it (May 24, 2013)

FridgeMagnet said:


> All right, so things have clearly got in the way of dwarfing for me, so I need to hand the fortress over to somebody who will actually update it - however I do still have a couple of final updates to post.
> 
> I shall be doing it in the medium of interpretative dance.
> 
> ...


You killed el-ahrairah, you bastard.

Can someone please take over before I die of thirst?


----------



## Crispy (May 24, 2013)

tbh, unless rich! or tommers fancy a bash, I'm quite happy to have another go at it. I really enjoyed telling stories


----------



## Crispy (May 24, 2013)

FridgeMagnet said:


> All right, so things have clearly got in the way of dwarfing for me


 
It was to be expected I suppose.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (May 24, 2013)

The level of detail you get on each Dwarf is bonkers. Are all games like this nowadays?


----------



## Crispy (May 24, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> The level of detail you get on each Dwarf is bonkers. Are all games like this nowadays?


Not even close 
Dwarf Fortress is one of a kind.


----------



## Crispy (May 24, 2013)

Crispy said:


> tbh, unless rich! or tommers fancy a bash, I'm quite happy to have another go at it. I really enjoyed telling stories


Actually, I'm going to go right ahead and finish FM's year, seeing as he's half-way through, then see if anyone fancies a go then.


----------



## tommers (May 24, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Actually, I'm going to go right ahead and finish FM's year, seeing as he's half-way through, then see if anyone fancies a go then.


 
Yeah, do it. I'm struggling to get time to do anything apart from dealing with kids / collapsing into bed at the moment.  I would just kill everybody anyway.  If you want a spectacular ending then maybe bear me in mind.

I'll persist with the tutorial tonight though.


----------



## Crispy (May 24, 2013)

*17th Hematite, 128*

I smooth a floor tile until it is smooth. I move to the next floor tile and smooth it until it is smooth. It is satisfying work. Dwarves report of their happy thoughts at seeing smooth floor and I am contented.

I am interrupted. It is Fridgemagnet. He makes small talk, but his eyes speak otherwise. I press. He relents and confesses. The work is too great and he renounces overseeing. The mantle is thrust back into hy hands. I grudgingly accept.

Fourteen weeks have passed in his care. I visit kabbes and enquire of status.

Food stocks are adequate. Industry is active. The fortress is busy. The fortress is thronged. Overrun. Who are all these dwarves?







My heart is raised by such success in attracting immigrants. My mind is weighed by their administration. This will require careful thought and long consultation of the book of labours

They number thirty-three and I will name them all.

Some dwarves have martial skill and I form first militia. Stuff_it has honorary role only, as she cannot decide between tree axe and battle axe. True soldiers are led by Schmetterling:mace. She commands zenie:spear, ice-is-forming:hammer, Old Gergl:hammer, and memespring, frogwoman and dotcommunist who are strong but unskilled. They will learn swords.

fuck-seals will train animals. we must trap animals for training.

Shippou Sensei will be our fourth miner.

I am greatly glad of the numbers for hauling. Now craftsdwarves can work unhindered by fetching of supplies. With great labour comes great works.



Spoiler: and the rest?



I have named them all, but will mention them specifically when they do something interesting. Migration waves are going to be large now, so it's getting hard to keep track of individuals


 
*18th Hematite, 128*






Citizen66 has been very productive. We can afford statuary in every room. I instruct a break in sculpting and order dining furniture for new dwarves. I also order digging new bedrooms.

*1st Malachite, 128*

Tombs have been dug. Coffins have been carved and placed. El-ahrairah's skeleton is hauled by such and such for internment.






*4th Malachite, 128*

Thirteen more migrants. All are welcome in Bouldergloves. Bed manufacture is now ultimate industrial priority.

*8th Malachite, 128*

The dwarves of Bouldergloves have elected a mayor. His name is marty21 and he forbids export of swords. Compliance is simple, for Bouldergloves only lends the tips of swords to enemies.

*12th Malachite, 128*

The Helmed Scratches, novice squad, spar and train on the surface. Soldiers must adjust to sunlight, to meet the enemy without nausea.

The only visible signs of Bouldergloves are Depot, Small Door and Training Dwarves. What message does this send? It says we are cowards who hide in the earth. No longer. We shall build walls on the land. Two entrances: One for trade and one for trapping enemies. Migrants: Do you know masonry?






(summer part 2 to come after the weekend)


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (May 24, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Shippou Sensei will be our fourth miner.


 
My only fear is a dwarven maggie thatcher


----------



## Crispy (May 29, 2013)

*13th Malachite, 128*

Sounds of violence echo down stairs. I hurry to inspect. It is livestock quarrels of great number.






Cow has done most damage with her horns.





it goes on and on and on like this. I'm amazed they're all still standing 

I order her butchered. When we have a butcher, we will have beef stew.

*18th Malachite, 128*






New room is added to museum. It is memorial statue garden to the founders. fractionman and treefrog are yet missing. They are founding dwarves, citizen66; do you require more inspiration? Wait. Why is stuff_it sleeping? Why is she sleeping in the hospital? Why is her left foot wounded? Why is no doctor attending? It is because I have not assigned diagnosis labour. I correct the error. emanymton, chief medical dwarf examines the patient.






The injuries are many. emanymton performs first surgery.






When recovered, stuff_it must tell me assailant's name.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 29, 2013)

That would be stuff_it who decided to kick a goblin in the dagger.

(It is worth remembering that goblin thieves are significantly more dangerous than kobold thieves. Dwarves don't really seem to care who they're fighting though, they'll attack a wombat in the same way as a werewolf.)


----------



## Crispy (May 30, 2013)

This is the last history of summer

*18th Galena, 128*

A month has passed and I neglect my diary. Allow me to summarise. There have been two births in Bouldergloves. True natives of The Lean Rim. They are:

Thob, daughter of Tuxta and rubbershoes. Strong and iron willed. A future soldier of Bouldergloves.
Olin, son of Garek and beesonthewhatnow. He is clumsy.

Stuff_it remains hospitalised as doctors feel that hauling stones is more important. I forbid doctors from hauling. Heal that dwarf!

Surface walls are complete. I order drawbridges and traps.






We finally have sufficient bedrooms for all dwarves. I feel boding of further immigration, so maintain high levels of bed production.

*21st Galena, 128*

Dwarf children admire my statue. They are good dwarves and will know legends of Bouldergloves.






I have located several coal veins. We are awash in ore, but fuel is scarce. Temptation of magma is strong. Endless heat for smelting and forging. But it is many hundreds deep, and harbours its own dangers. We are not ready yet.

*26th Galena, 128*






The child Athel has organised a party. Athel is son of el-ahrairah and has been ecstatic lately, despite being forced to watch decay of her body on great hall floor. It is good to see strong dwarvish recovery from such stress.






Only one dwarf attends the party. beesonthewhatnow hums a tune.


----------



## Crispy (May 31, 2013)

*5th Limestone, 128*

Our mayor, marty21, inquires of me. When might she be allowed the lodgings befitting her station?






Very well. I begin designation of noble bedrooms. There will be more to come.

*8th Limestone, 128*

Stuff_it's treatment reaches critical phase. emanymanton applies cast to broken foot. His pet rabbit Nish observes the procedure.






*9th Limestone, 128*

The treatment is a success. Stuff_it walks and immediately applies herself to labour of crafting new tables for great hall. She is exemplary dwarf and lesson to us all.






*19th LImestone, 128*

First butcher of Bouldergloves is Minnie_the_Minx. She takes cow to slaughter. The beef must flow.






*20th Limestone, 128*

Migrants. Welcome. You number eleven. We can accommodate you.

Welcome of husband and wife leanderman and sihi is interrupted by kobold thieves. I order all new migrants into squads in capture attempt. If they can occupy for a time, The Helmed Scratches will move in for the kill.






Sihi strikes first, charging into and toppling the kobold. leanderman misses, but target flees towards migrants. Sihi lands two punches to floored opponent, but is parried and stabbed in foot. She falls. The kobold makes escape. I know now that kobolds are fast. We do not pursue.

[Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/wt3lkt8)

leanderman gets close enough to charge his quarry. Counterstrike is swift and brutal. He is stabbed in head and dies before striking the floor. Kobold evades pursuers and flees through the pools of human blood.






It is a grim welcome. Maurice Picarda, assistant doctor, carries sihi from battlefield.






Ten dwarves then are added to our number.
Among them is talented weaver, DexterTCN. Clothes are beginning to wear thin. He will tailor, but we have no cloth. But it is autumn and we shall trade. Gold and platinum crafts are stockpiled. This year, Bouldergloves will afford much trade.


----------



## Crispy (May 31, 2013)

*2nd Sandstone, 128*

Fridgemagnet has a pet cat. I do not know date of adoption, but it arrived with migrants in past. His name is udib and he is skinny with hair that is all shades of reddy brown; auburn, brown, russet, raw umber. Today, he is in the reeds, chasing fireflies.






*13th Sandstone, 128*

Marty21 ends her mandate forbidding export of short swords. There was never any danger of such thing, Marty. She is pleased, regardless.

*24th Sandstone, 128*

Pingu claims a craftsdwarf's workshop, no doubt to produce another fabulously detailed craft of no useful function. When will a dwarf build us an artifact of weapon or armour?

*5th Timber, 128*

Sihi is fully healed from kobold attack, but remains very unhappy. Not only did she watch her husband die, she was forced into military service and immediately injured. She is settling in to her job smoothing fortress walls. I hope the fine works of Bouldergloves give her happy thoughts. We do not want tantrums.






*8th Timber, 128*

Mayor Marty21 now mandates the construction of bucklers. We will comply. When mandate ends, we will melt them back to useful iron. It will at least improve our armouring skills.

*11th Timber, 128*

A swarm? herd? tribe? of Thrips People buzzes and swoops over the hills to the North. They seem peaceful, but their forms disturb.






*19th Timber, 128*

The Caravan and Liason have arrived. Now all dwarves of Eweecamo will know the wealth of Bouldergloves.






Laptop and Spirals immediately sprint to the approaching traders and steal a piece of cloth each (alpaca wool and cave spider silk, respectively). They take it directly to hospital. Evidently, we were short on bandages.

*21st Timber, 128*

Sixty-three thousand five hundred five. I will write it twice, for it gives me great joy to do so. Sixty-three thousand five hundred five is the wealth of Bouldergloves available to trade. We could buy entire caravan and buy it again. I cast off restraint and go shopping. Steel weapons and armour. All the alcohol (rum, wine, beer). All the food (meat, fish, blood, mushroom, cheese). Leather, cloth, wood. The bill is fifteen thousand nine hundred five. I trade gold and platinum crafts worth thirty thouand seventy three. It is extravagant tip. I suspect earlier cloth theft will be forgiven.







I order expansion of stockpiles and construction of storage bins.

*25th Timber, 128*

Pingu has finally begun artifact. It seems he was waiting for delivery of cloth, for he has taken a piece of woven pig tail fiber. Also three lumps of coal. A curious recipe.






What wonderous craft. An amulet made of coal, decorated with coal. It will take pride of place in great hall as reminder of productive and useful craft of Bouldergloves. Well done Pingu.


----------



## DotCommunist (May 31, 2013)

wait, i'm a dwarf now? awesome


----------



## Crispy (May 31, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> wait, i'm a dwarf now? awesome


Yeah, I've just been hitting New Posts and taking names off the front page


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (May 31, 2013)

DwarfCommunist...


----------



## spirals (Jun 1, 2013)

Yay at my awesome cloth stealing skills!


----------



## tommers (Jun 1, 2013)

Like.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2013)

This is the history of Winter

*20th Moonstone, 128*

All days of Moonstone are spent enlarging stockpiles, building barels and bins, and storing our newly purchased goods. Bouldergloves swims in riches. No dwarf lies idle.

*21st Moonstone, 128*

Our metalwork is shoddy. Armourers and weaponsmiths are too great in number and share too little work. I reduce allocation of labours and increase orders for weapons and armour. With practice, we will be masters.

In anticipation, I order flux stone mined (for us, marble) and pig iron smelted. Steel production will follow.

*1st Opal, 128*

Livestock are cramped. Training soldiers interrupt their feeding. I design new pasture, with direct stair access to kitchens. Now meat industry may thrive.






*7th Opal, 128*

A kobold thief is detected. This time, it is surrounded by The Helmed Scratches. Vengeance for sihi will be sweet.






Dotcommunist makes first contact, charging and knocking the kobold over and slapping its toe with the flat of his axe. memespring joins in with the flat of his axe, breaking its leg. Dotcommunist lunges in and bites the same leg, wrenching it around, tearing muscle, nerve and artery. The kobold attempts a counterstike, but misses, giving dotcommunist time to hack its left foot off.

Now memespring and schmetterling take turns with axe and spear, hacking and stabbing. The kobold perishes, having dealt no damage. Victory for Bouldergloves.






*8th Opal, 128*

Another kobold thief tries its luck. The Helmed Scratches are quick to respond. This kobold is nimble and manages to escape the fortress walls. But dotcommunist pursues into the reeds, closing the gap and bowling it over.






The kobold thrusts its dagger into dotcommunist's arm, where it lodges. The red mist descends. In a blind rage, the dwarf bites the kobold's middle finger and cracks a nail. This is not proper dwarven combat move. dotcommunist merely pushes the kobold around until its arm is broken. Old Gergl and zenie hurry; they will finish this fight in the proper way.

But they are too late. dotcommunist finally remembers that he is a dwarf, swings his axe and buries it in the kobold's skull.

Victorious, he heads to the hospital to have his arm fixed.






*10th Opal, 128*

As stockpile work ends, dwarves become idle. Bouldergloves is thriving and we want for nothing. But all dwarves know true calling. We must delve deep. There are gems and there is lava. There are caverns and there are beasts. I order mineshaft to be continued.

Almost immediately, a new cavern is reached. rich!'s pick strikes the floor, which gives way to free space. The air that rushes past is warm. Can it be? Have we found lava so shallow?

*11th Opal, 128*






It is true! A magma pool, a mere fifty below the fortress! Our fortune is great. We will move all metalwork to this location.

*27th Opal, 128*

Dwarf Poot is taken by a fey mood. She is unskilled dwarf. I do not expect greatness. She gathers jet, chert and quartz.

Excavation of great magma forge proceeds well.






*5th Obsidian, 128*

Penimania bears a child. The father is Barking_Mad. Their son is named Dumat, who likes sheep.

*8th Obsidian, 128*






Poot made an earring. That's nice, Poot.

*14th Obsidian, 128*






The forge room is complete. Magma channels run beneath the forges. Treefrog is sent to remove last tile and release flow. The procedure passes without incident and the channel begins to fill.






Soon, these rooms will ring with the sound of hammers.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2013)

So, that's two years in the history of Bouldergloves. I've been enjoying this immensely and unless anyone else would like a go, I'd like to carry on. That is, so long as you lot aren't getting bored 

Next year we can expect our first real taste of the enemy, further exploration of the caverns and their inhabitants, and a start on some impressive architecture.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 2, 2013)

YOUR DOING AN ACE JOB


----------



## Epico (Jun 2, 2013)

Love this thread so much, even if I don't fully understand what's going on!


----------



## tommers (Jun 2, 2013)

Yes.  Do it.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 2, 2013)

I'd almost want a bit more DF info embeded  just  to get to know the game a bit more.  maybe in spoiler tags.


----------



## tommers (Jun 2, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> I'd almost want a bit more DF info embeded just to get to know the game a bit more. maybe in spoiler tags.


 


That way lies madness.

Although I do want to know how those lava forges work.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2013)

tommers said:


> That way lies madness.
> 
> Although I do want to know how those lava forges work.


 

You need to have a hole in the floor, underneath which is magma at least 4/7 deep. You build the magma forge over the hole in the floor and now you can do metalwork without burning coal/charcoal. There are also magma smelters, kilns and glass furnaces. Magma metalworking is a necessity for a long-running fort, because coal seams are not that common. Also, it's dwarfy as hell to work metal with magma


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2013)

This is the History of Spring




*3rd Granite, 129*

The third year of Bouldergloves begins. Let us survey the fortress, from the bottom up.






Wait. What? Is that? By the gods. Why did nobody tell me? The hall of traps has been triggered. The gore is wall to wall. It looks very much like goblin parts. Goblins! We had thought them confined to South West land. Now we find that two (as far as I can tell from the mounds of gore and organs) of them attempted theft from Bouldergloves. They must have settlement nearby. Where there is one goblin, there are always more. It is a matter of time before they visit us. Bouldergloves is ready for them.

*8th Granite, 129*

The child Athel organises another party. Not even beesonthewhatnow attends. Every dwarf is too busy moving metalwork industry downstairs.

*11th Granite, 129*

The newest member of The Lean Rim is born. He is Urvad, son of Spirals and bi0boy. He detests worms.

*21st Granite, 129*






Firky is gathering chopped wood when he spies third Goblin thief. The Helmed Scratches are close by and give chase. Goblins are slower than dwarves, but it is a close race. Goblin is eight from border of world when memespring catches up. With one swing of his battleaxe, he opens a deep wound in the Goblin's back, severing arteries and nerves. He follows up with flurry of limb attacks.






The goblin attempts countrstrikes, but misses. It's grip is now weak and it drops items.






dotcommunist arrives and joins in. Victory is swift and brutal. Our soldiers gain valuable combat experience.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2013)

*27th Granite, 129*

I order to breach the first cavern. We shall explore the underground as all dwarves should. Garek excavates last tile. When sound of falling rubble subsides, we hear sounds. Hiss and slither in the darkness.

I open book of dwarves, close my eyes and stab my finger. I open my eyes and find rutabowa's name beneath my finger. He is summoned and sent to investigate.







Rutabowa shouts back. There are ten Serpent People at the end of the cavern! Some carry blowguns and commence firing. Rutabowa ignores calls to retreat back to stairs. He is a brave dwarf.

It is remarkable. Blood flows, but it is not dwarf blood. Rutabowa holds his own.






It is incredible. Rutabowa, an unarmed peasant, has defeated two hideous Serpent Men! I call in The Scratches. They will make short work of these creatures.

The fighting is a blur. Too much to take in and report accurately. The Scratches chase the Serpent People all through the cavern, killing a further six.






No! Foolish dwarves! The battle is not yet over! Stop trying to pick up the spoils! It is too late. KittyP falls to multiple stab wounds from a Serpent Spearwoman. In so doing, the beast gains a name. It is now Migurost, slayer of Kittyp. It is wounded, but must not live longer. I order The Scratches to pursue.






Old Gergl and Schmetterling arrive first. The battle is bloody, Schmetterling receiving many wounds. They are overwhelming and she is forced to drop her spear. Defenceless, the Serpent Woman drives her spear through the brave dwarf's skull.






That vile creature took a few seconds out to murder poor editor, cheese maker and enemy of nobody. Now it is stabbing and charging ice-is-forming across the ground. Things look hopeless, as she topples down the slope, leaving a trail of blood behind her. But dotcommunist has arrived and is uninjured. He is a ferocious dwarf, but only manages to break her finger and scratch her head. After fending off multiple attacks, Migrurost manages to strike him in the head, dealing a non-fatal but stunning blow. 






ice-is-forming is badly injured. All her limbs are cut open and she is unconscious. If she cannot be rescued soon, she may bleed to death. dotcommunist has a nasty cut on his head and is unconscious, but otherwise uninjured. He is a very tough dwarf. When he wakes up, he will be angry.






I order all civilians inside. We cannot risk more death. Only when Migrurost is dead can I permit recovery of the fallen.

zenie is next soldier to face the terror. Once again, a spear to the head causes unconsciousness. A further spear to the brain causes death. The scratches are down to four able dwarves.

I order them to muster, as Migrurost hides in a cave. A coordinated assault is their last hope.

Before they can assemble, Migrurost comes out of hiding and begins chasing Quartz, a peasant. Quartz runs towards main staircase. Yes! You are a good dwarf! Lead it into the traps!






It is too late. Migrurost claims another victim, just eight tiles from the traps that would have saved him. The deaths are so many now that she gains a full name. Migrurost Ros Edol. In your tongue, this is Oceanfolded, The Decisions of Weathering. My tongue calls her most hated enemy of The Lean Rim. Bouldergloves will avenge its deaths.

*(12th Slate, 129)*

_In amongst the slaughter, the first migrants of the year arrive. The column marches as far as the eye can see. Thirty dwarves! Bouldergloves swells. And not just by migration. twentythreedom births Firky's daughter, Lolor. She has an amazing memory. wayward bob, meanwhile, births Maurice Picarda's son, Datan. He likes giant octupses for their many arms._

*26th Slate*






We cannot risk further bloodshed. All living members of The Helmed Scratches are safe inside. All injuries are being treated in hospital. I seal the cavern doors and begin pondering strategy for Migrurost's downfall.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 2, 2013)

*Rutabowa! Rutabowa! Rutabowa!*






has  the dwarf miner shippy  done anything apart from  punch stone?  (i kinda guess not)


----------



## Crispy (Jun 2, 2013)

Spoiler: what that all means in game terms



I sent rutabowa in there to try and kite all the serpent people back to the stairs and have them sliced to ribbons in the traps. I didn't think he'd actually fight back, let alone win! However, I was not expecting that indestructible leader of theirs. Damn thing killed some good dwarves. I have a safer, yet still honorable, plan to take her out, though


----------



## fractionMan (Jun 3, 2013)

awesome, best thread on urban


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Jun 3, 2013)

Traditionally a good way of trapping things is to put a kitten at the other end of a trapped corridor.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 3, 2013)

*18th Slate, 129*

When sealing the cavern, not every dwarf was on the safe side of the doors. One such is Yuwipi Woman. She wisely does not disturb the enemy, but is pestered by a troglodyte, a disgusting mangy creature of the depths. The combat is entirely non-contact.






Foolishly, she wanders into Migrurost's lair.






Incredibly, she goes undetected.

*3rd Felsite, 129*

The plan is simple. We will dig out rooms around her lair. We will smooth the walls. We will carve fortifications into the walls. We will shoot the beast with arrows from behind the fortifications.






The first marksdwarf unit of Bouldergloves is formed. I inspect dwarves for natural ability with bows. Laptop is adventurous and assertive. A fine leader. He will command the following dwarves: Pieface, fuck-seals, JimW, girasol. May their bolts fly true.

He names his squad The Wires Of Perplexing. Too many letters. I shorten to The Wires.

*11th Felsite, 129*

The child Medtob has been posessed by a creative urge. This dwarf is very young, with no skills whatsoever. Let us see what emerges from his empty mind. He gathers a wide range of materials: Jet, granite, marble, alpaca bone, gems and toad leather. Anything is possible.

*17th Felsite, 129*






That is not a bad crown, Medtob. It is decorated with an image of Rat Weed in marble.

*20th Felsite, 129*






All attempts to kill serpent woman are put on hold. The goblins have come in force. I order The Helmed Scratches (minus ice-is-forming, who is still hospitalised) to assemble on the surface. With luck, traps will do work for us.

memespring ignores sensible orders and rushes straight into battle. He is a good soldier






but he cannot hold off sixteen goblins.






He gets in good first strike, removing goblin right hand. But the tables are soon turned. memspring suffers bone-breaking mace blow. He drops axe and shield. There is no hope now. Bones break, flesh tears, blood flows and memespring dies outside the gates of Bouldergloves. The goblins retreat, but regather their nerve and attack. Now we will see traps in action.






The whirling blades butcher two goblins and the rest flee.






dotcommunist is next dwarf to gain foolish thoughts of glory. Does he not know of fate of memespring? For first time, I wish haste on goblins.






He collides with trailing goblin, knocking it over. Rest of hoard continue retreat. Dotcommunist exhibits his skills.






The seige is driven off, but at cost of life. memespring will be mourned. We have learned two things: One, do not muster soldiers in line of sight of enemy. Two, Dotcommunist is now primary weapon of Bouldergloves. The enemy fears his blade.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 3, 2013)

*22nd Felsite, 129*






With distraction passed, I turn back to Migrurost. The Wires are summoned and laptop arrives within seconds. He takes aim through the fortifications and lets loose two bolts.






Success! And not a dwarf was injured. However, Migrurost runs away. I did not anticipate cowardice. She returns, but hides behind a corner. Clouds of miasma from rotting seprent people and dwarves hampers view.






In amongst the miasma, girasol manages to land a bolt in Migrurost's flesh. She retreats again, but finds Yuwipi Woman drinking from an underground pool. She takes a few seconds out to stab her to death.






Bouldergloves loses another dwarf then, but it will be the last lost to this enemy. Every time she returns to her lair, she gains fresh wounds. It does not take long.






Out of members of The Wires, Pieface has some skill in engraving. I forbid all other dwarves from engraving and order engraving of wall in Great Hall. She will carve history and all dwarves will know legend of the fall of Migrurost.






She heads directly from scene of battle, images fresh in her mind and blood pumping in her veins. She brings hammer and chisel to bear on the stone to indelibly imprint the very bones of Bouldergloves with her vision.






Oh.


----------



## Stigmata (Jun 4, 2013)

It's the strawberry of war


----------



## fractionMan (Jun 4, 2013)

where's my bloody statue Citizen66 ?


----------



## Citizen66 (Jun 4, 2013)

Huh?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 5, 2013)

This is the History of Summer

*3rd Hematite 129*

With all enemies defeated, we count the cost. Combined casualties of battles with Serpent People and Goblins are:

Military

Schmetterling Ishengoden
Zenie Eturgebar
Memespring Rashthob

Civilian

Quartz Monomked, Peasant
Editor Uzolnitig, Cheese Maker
kittyP Rithirtir, Cook
Yuwipi Woman Isonasob, Metalcrafter

Do not mourn them. Celebrate their sacrifice that Bouldergloves may thrive.

One Serpent Man still lingers, but he fell into an underground lake and cannot get out.






New recruits are required for The Helmed Scratches. MrsDarlingsKiss is agile and quick to heal. bi0boy is mighty. xes has well balanced martial traits. Colacubes follows her dead husband memespring into the army. I order full set of steel armour for each member.

*10th Hematite, 129*






I hear calamity from cavern entrance. A cave crocodile is wreaking havoc. It has been eating uk benzo piece by piece. Both feet and the right arm so far, but the dwarf himself is nowhere to be seen.






I order The Scratches into battle. As usual, dotcommunist is first to the fight.






Victory is rapid.






*15th Hematite, 129*

While updating book of dwarves to record deaths and new military, I notice Poot has gained legendary engraving skills thanks to construction of jet earring artifact. I immediately ask her to engrave great hall. She will produce true art.






Excellent work, Poot. You may continue.

*21st Hematite, 129*

Ice-is-forming is still in hospital after epic battle with Migrurost. Both hands are broken, both feet are dented. Her nose has been sliced off. She is covered in scars. She refuses to ask for treatment. Doctors refuse to treat. It is a puzzle.






*19th Malachite, 129*

Little to report in the last month. Steel armour and weapons are being made. Stockpiles are being tended to. Dwarves are happy. The summer migrants arrive. They are twelve. No notable dwarves. They will haul.


----------



## Citizen66 (Jun 5, 2013)

Has citizen66 died then?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 5, 2013)

Citizen66 said:


> Has citizen66 died then?


Nope, he's just not doing anything worth writing about 
He spends all his time making lovely statues and high-value furniture. He's a valuable dwarf.

He just hasn't made statues of the missing founders yet. You can't specify what subjects carvers will portray (see the strawberry example above).


----------



## Crispy (Jun 5, 2013)

*25th Malachite, 129*

Bouldergloves has presence on the overworld, but it is no higher than the trees of the swamp. Blood Hill overlooks, and that is a small hill. I take measurements and locate central column positions of great hall. I designate them on the surface. We will build a tower to the clouds.






*27th Malachite, 129*






Dense fog of miasma from rotting dismembered torglodites fills the cavern entrance traps. In the murk, a troll attempts entrance. Ceej the ranger is nearby and lets fly with crossbow.






Her aim is true. The troll suffers greatly. But ceej is no military dwarf. Once troll retreats out of range, she returns to hauling duties.

The Scratches will have to finish things off.

dotcommunist rushes ahead of his squad as usual. Out of nowhere, a giant olm enters the fray. Olms are nothing more than giant slugs. dotcommunist enjoys his work.






Moving swiftly onward, he sprints up to the troll and takes its head off in one strike. Other members of The Helmed Scratches stand in shadow of his martial skill.






*8th Galena, 129*

I do not recall the election, nor being informed of result, but it seems I am mayor. I immediately sieze fine rooms from marty21 and mandate the production of leggings. Do not question my mandate!

*13th Galena, 129*

longdog is chosen by gods to receive creative spirits. He is skilled carpenter and I expect fine work. He gathers a very large number of ingredients.






*16th Galena, 129*

Ice-is-forming's stubborness to refuse treatment has had the inevitable effect. While loss of dwarf is to be regretted, this one had no hands and would only tie up the labour of others. It is better for Bouldergloves that she dies.






*19th Galena, 129*






Now vermin may be caught in style.

*23rd Galena, 129*

Stuff_it organises a party in the hall of founders. It is cramped. I was admiring my own statue when party started and now I am guest of honour. rich! and treefrog are also official guests. Other dwarves in room are "on break" but they cannot help be cheered by our partying.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 5, 2013)

DotCommunist - you should read the last few updates, your dwarf is a military legend.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 5, 2013)

Thus fall all enemies of Bouldergloves


----------



## Crispy (Jun 5, 2013)

I don't want to spoil anything, but the next few updates are going to be EPIC. My hands are literally shaking.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 5, 2013)

gASP


----------



## tommers (Jun 5, 2013)

Are you going to wipe out half the cast?

Maybe DotCommunist smashes up all the statues.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 6, 2013)

it sounds like something I would do after too many horns of ale tbf


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Jun 6, 2013)

He needs alcohol to get through the working day.


----------



## tommers (Jun 6, 2013)

Don't we all.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 6, 2013)

NOTE: Annoying technical issues beyond my control mean there are some missing images in today's updates.

This is the History of Autumn

*4th Limestone, 129*

While constructing foundations of sky tower, a small cave-in is caused. No major injuries; only bruises. Construction continues.

*17th Limestone, 129*






In case of emergency, tower will have opening and closing floor. Standard position will be open, allowing air and views into Great Hall. If attacked by flying beasts, floor may be closed, sealing Bouldergloves.

*24th Limestone, 129*

There is a chill in the air as autumn progresses. In order to maintain warmth of dwarf hands, I make crucial mayoral export decision.






*26th Limestone, 129*

-image missing-

A squad? tribe? clump? of troglodytes hovers at the limits of the cavern. These soft creatures will make perfect training fodder for our new recruits. Or they will make paint for dotcommunist's brush to work art for their pleasure. Either way, they intrude on the territory of The Lean Rim and must be eliminated. I order The Scratches to muster nearby.






Colacubes has brought her baby to battle. She is brave and foolish. Perhaps she wishes whole family to join memespring in hall of ancestors. So be it, if she wishes it.

-image missing-

Dotcommunist does not even need to use the edge of his weapon. With one pommel blow he collapses the skull of a troglodyte. 

Colacubes is not interested in troglodytes. She is interested in revenge. Path to troglodytes passed pool trapping last serpent man. She dives into pool and attempts vengeance for memespring.






Serpent man takes easy target and removes baby foot with tip of his spear. Both dwarves are drowning, but baby dies of blood loss first. Colacubes is the dwarf that suffers a watery death. Their corpses sit together in the lake. Serpent man survives.






The rest of The Scratches dismember and disembowel the trogldytes with ease. MrsDarlingsKiss and frogwoman make kills. xes does much stabbing with his spear. Old Gergl rips out troglodyte cheek with his teeth. Dotcommunist makes most mess.

*14th Sandstone, 129*

Another Sky Tower construction incident. This time, Biddlybee is crushed by falling masonry during removal of temporary scaffold. We must be more careful. Dwarves are not limitless resource.

*24th Sandstone, 129*

Autumn migrants. Eleven of them. No great crafters. No great soldiers. Build bedrooms. Assign hauling and masonry. It is routine.

*12th Timber, 129*

Finally! A dwarf with a military craft skill is blessed by inspiration! moggy Berusan, weaponsmith, is taken by a fey mood. He rushes down the main staircase and claims a magma forge. Let us hope for legendary works.

*14th Timber, 129*

Dear gods. Two calamities strike Bouldergloves on the same day. This is the worst possible timing.

Calamity number one: The great hall is entirely flooded. This is not supposed to happen. My suspicion lies with pressure plate design. Cistern was slowly emptied by evaporation and by drawing from well. Pressure plate was triggered and valve opened to refill. Refilling of cistern did not retrigger pressure plate. Cistern filled to brim and spilled out through well.






No dwarf is hurt, but eleven dwarves, two of them children, are trapped in the hall of founders. I designate mining to release them. I order cistern valve lever pulled to prevent further flooding. I am thankful of my own foresight that I made such an override. This is a lesson to all dwarves: Never trust automation.

Calamity number two: A beast from legend has arrived.






His name is known to few, but I have studied histories of the world. His lair is in South West land, where he has long tormented human and goblin alike. Thirty one kills are recorded, but many more must lie unknown. How he came to this land, I cannot say. We are surrounded by water, but it is possible that caverns connect beneath the ocean.






Bouldergloves has been designed to withstand such a threat. All overground entrances and gateways can be sealed by raising drawbridges. It may be cowardly, but we can shut all dwarves inside indefinitely if preservation is required. There is but one flaw in this plan.






All drawbridge controls are in the Great Hall.


----------



## tommers (Jun 6, 2013)

Oh.  Whoops.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 6, 2013)

*15th Timber, 129*






Cyclops approaches from Southeast. Hall of Traps is to South. If he chooses that entrance, Bouldergloves may brush with death but not feel its touch. Further complication is made by incomplete pasture extension wall. If dwarf cannot seal gap in time, then cyclops will have free entry to Bouldergloves via the farm.






The Groke brings chert block to building site, with Cyclops less than forty distant. He is but a dabbling mason, but manages to seal wall in time.

I hastily scan book of dwarves (I keep pocket version on my person at all times) and select seven dwarves with strength, agility or toughness. They are ordered to surface via armour and weapon stockpiles. They are The Staves Of Influencing, novice squad, and they will backup The Scratches.

rutabowa commands, having proved himself in combat against the serpent men. He leads Badgers, Bi0boy, Minnie-the-Minx, spirals, rich! and fractionMan. Some of these dwarves are usefully skilled, but survival of Bouldergloves comes above all else.

No more preparation is possible. The cyclops favours us with the trapped approach, but he is mighty and agile; he may fight and dodge through them all.






The cyclops dodges several traps and sustains wounds from others. It is dissuaded and retreats. It's foot is severely injured and does not move well. All military dwarves are ordered to pursue. For Bouldergloves!






xes makes first contact. His first move is to bite its finger. When this fails to bring it down, he brings his spear round in an arc, driving the point into the side of its head and through its brain in one fluid motion.






A fine kill indeed, and much easier than I anticipated. However, I must not let myself be lulled. I remember fight with Serpent People and their inferior

*16th Timber, 129*

Now the main problem for Bouldergloves is flooded Great Hall. Options are threefold: Wait for evaporation - this will take years. Pump the water out - this will require manufacturing pump parts and pumping the water to somewhere. Drain the water down - this requires digging and simple construction only. It will fill part of the cavern below with water, but this will not greatly inconvenience.

*16th TImber, 129*

Cistern inlet is closed and founders' hall dwarves are rescued. Digging for relief progresses slowly, as water in Great Hall has made stone damp, provoking caution in miners.



Spoiler: game mechanic



If a miner uncovers damp or warm stone (ie. there is water or magma above, below or beside a tile designated for mining, then the game pauses, zooms to the area and cancels the mining order, putting a warning on screen. This is useful if you don't want your dwarves to accidentally flood the fort, but a pain in the arse if you just want to excavate a room under or over a lake. I have to go back to the location every time and re-designate the tile for mining so that the dwarves actually mine it instead of leaving it alone.


 
*17th Timber, 129*

The caravan and liaison have arrived. I put on brave face and pray that liaison does not come underground. Bouldergloves thrives! We have much to trade! Nothing is wrong!

*18th Timber, 129*

This is some horrible dream. The goblins are returned. Many upon many of them, half of them armed with crossbows, but all mounted on giant rats. They are accompanied by eight war cave dragons. Eight! They are not flame breathers and are smaller than their flying brethren, but are still monstrous.






All able-bodied dwarves are drafted and ordered to the surface. This may be the final battle of Bouldergloves.






*19th Timber, 129*






Onul, liason from mountainhomes, enters the fortress. He finds mud and water and blood. Whatever his demands of me, they will have to wait.






I am far too busy eating dinner. (top right)

Of a sudden, an idea comes to me. Main lever for closing gates is submerged. But nothing prevents building of new lever. I order immediate construction and hope that siege can be held back in interim.

The dragons are first to arrive. Their target is Minkot, caravan guard. The fight does not go well, the dwarf landing zero blows on target.






Meanwhile, secondary goblin squad approaches from South. The traps will have to suffice as defence.






What's this? How did this one dragon get past our defences. How did spirals, novice dwarf, kill it in one blow?! Maybe these beasts are not as tough as thought! Beesonthewhatnow sees this out of corner of eye, but he has more important task of connecting bridge to lever.

The dragon pack enters the courtyard. Now we will know their strength in numbers.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 6, 2013)

And that is where we will have to leave it for today.

I usually rely on Dropbox to sync the game between home and work, but my home internet is down today while I get my new fibre broadband set up. So I copied everything onto a memory stick instead. But the stupid thing corrupted a bunch of files, including the save game, so I can't use my lunchbreak to resolve the battle. The suspense is killing me.


----------



## spirals (Jun 6, 2013)

spirals - cloth stealer and dragon killer! Fear me!


----------



## fractionMan (Jun 6, 2013)

Nooo!  More


----------



## Crispy (Jun 6, 2013)

fractionMan said:


> Nooo! More


I have a dropbox backup from just before the siege, which I just ran for fun to see what sort of chance the dwarves stand. The results do not change my previous opinions, nor do they change my tactics. The battle for bouldergloves will proceed tonight.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 6, 2013)

Epic


----------



## Crispy (Jun 6, 2013)

First dragon picks up minnie_the_minx in one hand, and her baby in the other. Foolish soldiers and their war babies.







With one hand, it dashes disemboweled baby Zasit against the floor. With the other, it disables Minnie_The_Minx by strangling, before crushing her brain.






frogwoman steps in and kills murderous dragon with with axeblows to head. Battle otherwise goes well. dotcommunist beheads a dragon with one swipe. Even novice soldiers make kills. FractionMan makes five strong hits to a dragons head:






When blood ceases to fly, the outcome is eight dead dragons and one dead recruit. This is a favourable trade.






*21st Timber, 129*






I order all squads to gather inside courtyard in perparation for next wave. Two main forces oppose us: To the East, ranged troops. To the Southwest, pikemen. After some indecision on both parts, they begin their approaches. At last moment, pikemen swerve and ignore traps.






Badgers decides to engage. Those are not your orders, dwarf! To preserve his chances, I send in The Scratches and the raw recruits. I order to concentrate on goblins, not their mounts. Pikes are more deadly than bites.






As last caravan enters trade depot, I send out The Wires to intercept incoming crossbowmen. Ranged enemies are deadly to unarmoured dwarves. Meanwhile, Badgers has initial success with combat, driving his spear into Gobin limbs. But doom now faces him in the form a Goblin Swordmaster, leader of this pack. Badgers' blows are easily deflected. The swordmaster takes off his foot with one swipe. dotcommunist would be useful now, but he is already in hospital with an injured foot.






It is recruit Lord Camomile who overcomes the Swordmaster. Knocking it off balance and removing its hand. Without two hands, it cannot grip its two-handed sword. Now this formidable enemy is declawed, I order all squads to attack crossbowmen.

But it seems that the goblins have had enough. Both packs retreat rapidly to the East. Gramsci, fisherdwarf, minding his own business, is in wrong place at wrong time and goes down in hail of corssbow bolts.










Lord Camomile, desperate to finish what he started, harries the one-handed swordmaster accross the brook. Now the goblin is steady on its feet, all blows are parried. Straggling pikeman goblin uses distraction as opportunity to strike unopposed. Lord Camomile goes down.






*24th Timber, 129*

At exact same moment as last Goblin crosses our border and retreats for good, moggy completes his masterpiece. It is a fine weapon, but of even greater use is moggy's new-found legendary weaponsmith skill. Now Bouldergloves can be armed with the finest weapons known to dwarfkind!


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 6, 2013)

Gramsci used to be a dwarf like you until he took an arrow to the everything.

Gramsci 'Boromir' Honestmind


----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

*3rd Moonstone, 129*

Drainage shaft to caverns is complete. Treefrog prepares to release cistern overflow. Breakthough is carefully aligned to minimise current.








Spoiler: game mechanics



Water will flow through a diagonal gap between tiles, but in doing so reduces its pressure to "sea level". Water tiles with more water tiles above act under pressure and can flow much faster than a dwarf can outrun. By digging out the corner tile, treefrog should be able to escpae through the door and avoid the flood.


 





The procedure is a smooth success and the Great Hall can finally start to drain. The caverns begin to flood.






*13th Moonstone, 129*

The Great Hall is now sufficiently drained for Dwarves to wade. Some immediately take seats and eat their meals. Despite wet feet, the hall is still impressive enough to inspire happy thoughts.

*15th Moonstone, 129*

I almost forgot to send Fridgemagnet to the trade depot. I buy all their wood, food and alcohol, plus some steel items for melting. We are running low on gold crafts for trade, so I order more made.

*21st Moonstone, 129*

I realise catacombs are full. I order more coffins. Some dwarves are still reported missing. The full tally of deaths from first great battle of Bouldergloves may never be known.

*27th Moonstone, 129*






Three levels above the ground, on top of resumed Sky Tower construction, stuff_it is carrying granite block and finds goblin limb. Three levels up! It must have been impressive combat move to have it travel so far. No combat log exists of the event. Congratulations, whichever dwarf managed this, it is a fine dismemberment.



Spoiler: game mechanic



When a combatent uses an edged weapon to attack and the target body part "sails off in an arc", then it really does go flying in the game world. This particular body part flew at least 9 meters in the air (DF tiles are 2m wide and 3m tall, including floors.


 
*8th Opal, 129*

A mournful hooing and flapping is heard in the cavern.






It is a surity that such creatures will eventually find any entrance to a fortress. I order all military dwarves to the forges, where we have just such an entrance. We wait.

*20th Opal, 129*






Waiting is tedious and thirsty work. I detask military and resume overseeing Sky Tower construction. It is delicate work, for dwarves easily wall each other in.



Spoiler: game mechanic



God, I wish I'd never started this bloody thing! I'm having to designate construction block by block, because the dwarves just love to build things in stupid order and trap themselves on the wrong side of an impassable wall. I might try lots of staircases as scaffolding


 
*2nd Obsidian, 129*

Noloc the forgotten beast continues to flap and hover in the cavern, many tiles away from forterss doors. My fear is that we will think ourselves safe until the months dull our memories. Combat with the beast is inevitable. It should be on our terms.

Our strength is diminished after the battle against the Goblins. Dotcommunist's left foot will never work again and he will be on crutch for rest of his life. But he maintains high spirits and still has firm grip of his axe.

I order all combat dwarves to muster at the forges and consider strategy. I will send crossbows first, to bring it out of the air. Once grounded, The Scratches will come in for main attack.

Before dwarves even reach the forges, Noloc reaches the door. He rushes in and heads straight for the main stairwell. This is bad news for Bouldergloves. Now we must fight in confined conditions.

My fears are misplaced. frogwoman shows martial skill to match her husband's. Meeting the beast on the stair, she is vicious with her axe, inflicting multiple wounds. Flesh is torn. Bones are broken. Finally, she takes aim at its head and removes it in one stroke. A superb kill.











frogwoman and dotcommunist are now husband and wife team of superlative soldiers.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 7, 2013)




----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

Something like that, yeah


----------



## fuck seals (Jun 7, 2013)

what of me?  the lack of commentary is worrying me now.

froggy & dwarfcommunist worry me more tbh

excellent work crisps


----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

fuck seals said:


> what of me? the lack of commentary is worrying me now.
> 
> froggy & dwarfcommunist worry me more tbh
> 
> excellent work crisps


 
You have no kills, I'm afraid, despite being drafted for the goblin battle.



I should set a bunch of animal traps tbh and put your animal training skills to use. A pack of War Mountain Goats would be a thing to behold.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 7, 2013)

fuck seals said:


> what of me? the lack of commentary is worrying me now.
> 
> froggy & dwarfcommunist worry me more tbh
> 
> excellent work crisps


 

Frodwarf still has use of both feet, I'm stuck with a laming here. If I take point again I fear that I shall be undone by something shit like a Kobold or a Quagga.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 7, 2013)

Or a slime mold. 'You have eaten the slime mold. It was disgusting!'

this is like a really arcane dungeon builders type of rougue-alike is it? I just realised this


----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

You're not as fast as you were, so I suspect froggy will be point dwarf from now on. However, with time, your crutchwalking skills will let you keep up.



DotCommunist said:


> Or a slime mold. 'You have eaten the slime mold. It was disgusting!'
> 
> this is like a really arcane dungeon builders type of rougue-alike is it? I just realised this


 
It totally is. The games has two main modes - Fortress mode is what I'm playing, but there's also Adventure mode, which is a full-on roguelike. The world map I included in post #1 is fully explorable on foot. The total area that I'm playing Bouldergloves on takes up 4x4 pixels on that map. It's huge. I could abandon this fortress and come along with my adventurer and reclaim its treasures


----------



## frogwoman (Jun 7, 2013)

wow ive got this secret life i didn't know about. 

do i have an invisibility cloak? and a dagger


----------



## frogwoman (Jun 7, 2013)

also how do i play this game? or are you playing it on my behalf crispy like some sort of vanguardist fighting the revolution on behalf ofd the class


----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

frogwoman said:


> wow ive got this secret life i didn't know about.
> 
> do i have an invisibility cloak? and a dagger


You have clothes made of spider silk and pig tail fibre (pig tail is a sort of plant)
You're wearing steel armour (breastplate, greaves, gauntlets)
You carry a steel battle axe and you have six kills - 1 serpent man, 1 troglodyte,  3 cave dragons and 1 forgotten beast: Noloc Arrowslaughter, the Murky Roar of Bites.
Both your hands bear deep scars. You are very muscular and durable, quick to heal, slow to tire and rarely sick.
You have willpower, and good kinesthetic and spatial senses.

You are getting used to tragedy.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

frogwoman said:


> also how do i play this game?


With great difficulty 


> or are you playing it on my behalf crispy like some sort of vanguardist fighting the revolution on behalf of the class


Pretty much


----------



## frogwoman (Jun 7, 2013)

Crispy said:


> You have clothes made of spider silk and pig tail fibre (pig tail is a sort of plant)
> You're wearing steel armour (breastplate, greaves, gauntlets)
> You carry a steel battle axe and you have six kills - 1 serpent man, 1 troglodyte, 3 cave dragons and 1 forgotten beast: Noloc Arrowslaughter, the Murky Roar of Bites.
> Both your hands bear deep scars. You are very muscular and durable, quick to heal, slow to tire and rarely sick.
> ...


 

i think the willpower thing is the only one that's correct in that


----------



## Stigmata (Jun 7, 2013)

Do I exist in this game? Am I the gong farmer or what


----------



## fuck seals (Jun 7, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> /snip
> this is like a really arcane dungeon builders type of rougue-alike is it? I just realised this


 
head this is nail; nail let me introduce you to head


----------



## fuck seals (Jun 7, 2013)

Crispy said:


> You have no kills, I'm afraid, despite being drafted for the goblin battle.
> 
> I should set a bunch of animal traps tbh and put your animal training skills to use. A pack of War Mountain Goats would be a thing to behold.


 

i am married to pingu? i mean wtf wtf wtf. i was secretly hoping for callie


----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> Do I exist in this game? Am I the gong farmer or what


 
Yes, you're in.



You're a useful Armorsmith. Maybe one day you'll have a mood and produce an artifact armour...


----------



## Crispy (Jun 7, 2013)

I had to install a special viewer app to get an idea of how the Sky Tower's looking. I think this one visualises each tile as a cube, which is incorrect, as it's much squatter than I planned. The little sub-tower on the left is an extension of the central stair core. The view is from the top of Blood Hill.


----------



## Stigmata (Jun 7, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Yes, you're in.
> 
> View attachment 33428
> 
> You're a useful Armorsmith. Maybe one day you'll have a mood and produce an artifact armour...


 
"Doesn't go out of own way to do more work than necessary"

The bit about liking bees is accurate as well


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 8, 2013)

> _You're a useful Areorsmith. Maybe one day you'll walk this way and talk this way_
> ftw


----------



## frogwoman (Jun 8, 2013)

Is there a picture of me on this thing?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 8, 2013)

frogwoman said:


> Is there a picture of me on this thing?


 
No picture as such, but you can let your imagination draw something from this description:



Basically, you're badass, but a bit socially awkward


----------



## frogwoman (Jun 8, 2013)

a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry 

I can deal with that


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 8, 2013)

Those text blocks need better punctuation


----------



## Crispy (Jun 9, 2013)

This is the History of Spring

*17th Slate, 130*

All spring long I toil at the Sky Tower. It occupies my every waking hour and I neglect rest of fortress. But fortress is self sufficient now. All food and alcohol needs are met. All soldiers are finely equipped. It is six weeks since the new year and I have barely paid attention to matters below ground. I am interrupted by a shout from below. Migrants! Curse them and their bedroom needs. There are thirty of them and they will all need naming.

I come to the great hall to greet them. What I find disgusts me. The floor is coated with mud. There are shrubs growing. Shrubs! This must not stand. I order construction of new floor.






*21st Slate, 130*

Another dwarven child is gripped by a creative urge. Bouldergloves desperately needs more untradeable mastercraft jewelry. Edzul gathers a worryingly varied list of materials.






*28th Slate, 130*






He is finished. The object is garishly overdecorated. Edzul, you have an overactive imagination.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 9, 2013)

This is the History of Summer

*3rd Hematite, 130*

The new Great Hall floor is almost complete, but dwarves are being put off their food by sprectral baby. There is no record of parentage. I order slabs to be made for engraving. Once memorialised, this baby will rest properly.






*18th Hematite, 130*

The summer election has brought a change of mayor. I step down from position and give up fine quarters to rich! who shall set mandates for next year.

Great Hall will have grating in center to prevent any future flooding. It will drain directly into cistern. I order cistern unsealed. Dwarf child Amost does the demolition work.






Upon breaking through, he gazes into the depths of the pool. He is shocked by what he sees.






The skeletons of many dead dwarves. isvicthere, equationgirl, MrsDarlingsKiss, Hollis and migrant Olon Likotbekar. Watching over the dead is ghost of Hollis, a mournful spirit that lingers at the site of its death.Retrieving these bodies is impossible without some significant water management. They will have to remain when cistern is resealed.

*22nd Hematite, 130*

Frogwoman has become one with her axe. She knows its weight and balance. It is as much a part of her body as her hands are. It is an extension of her very being. She names it.






In your tongue it means DredgeWorker MustyCeiling Scandal. The meaning is lost somewhat in translation.

*4th Malachite, 130*

I negelected to dissallow hunting amongst new migrants. As a result, three of them have been merrily exploring the caverns without permission. They have unearthed a small flock of Elk Birds and got themselves into trouble. Reno has had his left foot torn open and is bleeding on the floor. He must be rescued. They must be destroyed.






The combined forces of The Scratches and The Staves (recruit squad) are unleashed. Recruits TitanSound and yardbird are first to strike. TitanSound takes one bruising swing of his mace before caving Elk Bird skull in with toe of his boot. Yardbird stabs repeatedly and takes many opportunites to wrench her spear around in the wounds.

xes, professional sodlier, strolls up and demolishes Elk Bird brain with one axe blow.






The scene is bloody. But it is solely Elk Bird blood. No combat dwarf is injured in raid. Further glory to Bouldergloves.

*12th Malachite, 130*

Migrants. Eleven of them. One half competent armoursmith among them, named Mrs Magpie. I immediately put her to work fulfilling mayor rich!'s mandate for shield production.

*15th Malachite, 130*

The time has come. We will dig deep once more and locate that most precious metal. I dare not speak its name until I see it with my own eyes. I designate opening of mineshaft.

25th Malachite, 130






Ah. There it lies. Embedded in magma, rooted in the deepest levels of the world. Adamantine. Most precious. Most sharp. Object of all dwarven desire. And we will mine it.

I note location spied through hole in ceiling and mine sideways to approach from above and below. Mining the substance is a delicate challenge. Some veins are known to be hollow and we do not, under any circumstances at all, wish to examine the contents.

*3rd Galena, 130*






Very very carefully, we are revealing raw adamantine. I order workshops built at this low level, for refining the ore into strands.

*12th Galena, 130*

Ringo, peasant, is taken by a mood. This is perhaps most unskilled dwarf in entire fortress. What he makes will be entirely up to chance. He claims a craftsdwarf's workshop and gathers bone, mica, sheep's wool and many gems.

A goblin master thief is spotted by Firky, woodcutter, as he heads out to chop trees. Goblin responds by chopping Firky's leg off. Goblin chooses to do this in full sight of training yards. It does not bode well for goblin.






xes and frogwoman take turns removing body parts before tearing apart the brain. Gore is spread everywhere.

*19th Galena, 130*






Ringo completes his artifact. It is a chest made of bone. Another decoration for the Great Hall.

*20th Galena, 130*






A small squad of goblins has come to harrass. A large force of dwarves is sent to counter-harass. All military dwarves get taste of blood as the goblin bolts fly wild. Our armour is strong and they mostly bounce off. Even dotcommunist, not as fast on his feet foot as he once was, is close enough to join in the slaughter.






The battle gore blends in with the pools of human blood. Only dwarven casualty is Ceej, struck in the spine with crossbow bolt, paralyzing her and preventing her from breathing.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 10, 2013)

This is the History of Autumn

*18th Limestone, 130*






It is complete. Bouldergloves' first pure refined bar of adamantine. In time, moggy will create masterful edged weapons with this precious metal. In The Scratches' hands, they will be unstoppable.

*19th Limestone, 130*







I have brought our collection of trapped creatures to the surface. They are a source of great interest to our soldiers, who crowd round them, taunting the captives. I order a lever connected so that the creatures may be released for entertainment purposes.






_I forgot to save a picture of the slaughter. Sorry!_

*21st Limestone, 130*

A goblin thief is spotted at the fortress entrance. He does not live long. To think that a mere two years ago, such attackers stood serious chance of killing large proportion of Bouldergloves dwarves. Now we butcher them casually and without danger.

*16th Sandstone, 130*






The refuse pile is becoming unwieldy. There is a solution. We build a small drawbridge in an enclosed room. I designate garbage zone under its footprint. I order dwarves to dump all contents of refuse pile. When lever is pulled, garbage items will be obliterated.

*18th Sandstone, 130*

Thirteen migrants. Unskilled. Naming. Make beds. Etc.

*23rd Sandstone, 130*

rich! alters his production mandate.






This will be difficult. Gem cutters cannot be ordered to specifically create the large variety. Indeed, they are quite rare. I assign much gem cutting and hope for best.

*4th Timber, 130*






Surface Bouldergloves is a mess. From humble beginnings, construction has been piecemeal and unplanned. There is no symmetry. There are no ramparts. We do not say to the world that dwarves are great architects, we say that dwarves do not care for their structures. There are forty seven idle dwarves. This labour can be better used.

*17th Timber, 130*

The caravan has arrived. They are expectant of gold riches. Bouldergloves can oblige.

*18th Timber, 130*

Calamity! In a foolish designation, I have sealed dwarves in while constructing bedrooms. Among them, Fridgemagnet, founding dwarf and trader, and Citizen66, legendary stonemason. They have died of dehydration; an ignoble end for such noble dwarves. This is a dark day for Bouldergloves and a stain on my record.






Meanwhile, xes has reached pinnacles of axedwarfship, attaining rank of Axe Lord. Surviving dwarves of sealing-in accident are unhappy and throw tantrums. With time, quality of Bouldergloves decorations will cheer them up.






*25th Timber, 130*






Rich! is in his quarters when approached by liaison from Rith Ellis. An important question is put to him.






This is an honour. We will gain the title of Mountainhome, and will join the ranks of nobility. We will no longer be an outpost, but a true dwarven city. But this means submitting to Queen Udil's ultimate rule. The vampire queen is many miles away, however. She cannot dictate our actions. In time, she might even visit us and that will be a grand opportunity for all of us. I advise rich! to accept the offer. Naturally, I am selected for the role of Baron.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 10, 2013)

This is the History of Winter

*7th Moonstone, 130*

Frogwoman joins xes in Axelord status. Dotcommunist is not far behind.

*10th Moonstone, 130*






Snadge, victim of the Great Trapping has had enough. His will has snapped and he has gone berserk and sets out to pick fights with any dwarves he can find. I order The Scratches to hurry things along.






xes is vicious. It is neccesary.

*17th Moonstone, 130*






What? How? Where have the traders gone? Why have they left all their items? Where is the trade depot?!?

I realise my mistake. In amongst building and demolition orders for New Bouldergloves, I have ordered the trade depot destroyed. While the merchants were in it. And now our own dwarves are carrying the items inside as if they were our own. This will not go down well with the queen.

*21st Moonstone, 130*

shakespeargirl is next dwarf to go insane and be put down by our skilled soldiers. Two such happenings force me to pay attention to moral of all dwarves. There are five who are truly unhappy: JimW, who has lost much family recently: child, spouse and father. He is skilled crossbowdwarf, but is slow to anger and should not be a danger. Lazy Llama, Ms T, Reno and toggle are also unhappy. We must watch them carefully for any signs of insanity.

*23rd Moonstone, 130*

I spoke too soon. toggle has snapped and gone stark raving mad. Lazy llama follows soon after. They have both begun to babble incoherently and remove their clothes. A pitiful sight but we can do nothing but wait for the inevitable.

*1st Opal, 130*

Dwarf Sirena has claimed a magma forge, bringing adamantine, zircons and cloth. She must use that adamantine well, for it is a very limited in supply.

*15th Opal, 130*






Sirena has made a fine amulet.






*17th Opal, 130*

The liaison has finally left Bouldergloves, and I have become Baron. My tastes are immediately more refined and I demand more lavish quarters. I resign as mayor and longdog is elected in my place. I am sure he will do well. Now dwarves! Build me my palace!

*21st Opal, 130*

Reno, one of our unhappy dwarves, must think hard on what he has done. His sorrow is understandable, for he has endured much.






However, he should not have taken out his frustrations on other dwarves.






A terrible waste of newly legendary craftsdwarf. Let us hope that he cheers up soon.

*3rd Obsidian, 130*






Hoping was not enough, for Reno has gone beserk. When insanity takes him, he is in Mayor Longdog's quarters. He wastes no time in killing the mayor. The Scratches hurry down the stairs.






dotcommunist arrives to dispense justice the only way he knows how. He systematically chops off all of Reno's limbs.






That is one fewer miserable dwarf in Bouldergloves. Maurice Picarda is elected mayor.

*5th Obsidian, 130*






The perimeter wall of New Bouldergloves is complete. A full seventy in diameter, it menaces with foundations of granite and chert. Two entrances, as before. The Northern for friends, the Southern for foes. Both are lined with gold. I designate obsolete structures for demolition. This area will be paved. Statues will line the avenues. Fountains will delight with their mists. Civilisation on the surface, in the name of The Lean Rim I command it as Baron!

*24th Obsidian, 130*

To work fountains, we will need to tame the brook. With wheels, we will draw power. With power, we will drive pumps. With pumps, we will elevate water to great heights. Water falling from great heights is perhaps the finest sight a dwarf can see. All unhappy thoughts are to be banished in happy clouds of mist.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 10, 2013)

So, thus ends year 3 of Bouldergloves. We teetered on the brink of a tantrum spiral there, but I think it's under control now. I think. General mood across the fortress is very happy, but I may need to lock the few remaining miserable dwarves in their own private pleasure palaces. The sooner I can get some waterfalls going the better. Nothing cheers a dwarf up like clouds of mist.

Demolishing the trade depot was a real blunder. They'll count it as theft, I think. Hopefully, the lavish over-spending in the previous years will keep them on side.

I'm also annoyed with myself for a)walling a bunch of dwarves in and b)one of them being a founding dwarf. I never got round to building tombs for the founders, so he'll get a prole's grave 

Any questions, or requests for tasks in year 131?


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 10, 2013)

Build a railway.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 10, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> Build a railway.


YES

So many dwarves will get run over by errant minecarts


----------



## el-ahrairah (Jun 10, 2013)

build some sort of rave for them.


----------



## el-ahrairah (Jun 10, 2013)




----------



## Crispy (Jun 10, 2013)

Good timing that one 
A rave would be tricky. There's no music system in the game (despite the dwarves having a Musical Ability trait). There's also no narcotics other than alcohol, which they already drink all day anyway. Random dwarves organising parties in the Great Hall are as ravey as it gets :-/


----------



## Citizen66 (Jun 10, 2013)

I knew I'd die.


----------



## fractionMan (Jun 10, 2013)

Dig an enormous pit next to the tower so you can throw prisoners from the top, down the hole and into the fiery magma depths. Bonus points for a plank.

An underground forest would also be cool.  And a moat.


----------



## Stigmata (Jun 10, 2013)

Trap a monster


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Jun 11, 2013)

Crispy walled me up


----------



## tommers (Jun 11, 2013)

Can you make siege engines to throw captives off the battlements?   You could test whether a goblin weighs more than a kobold.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 11, 2013)

tommers said:


> Can you make siege engines to throw captives off the battlements? You could test whether a goblin weighs more than a kobold.


 
There are catapults and ballistae, but they fire stone and massive arrows respectively. They're also a bit crap - massively innacurate and manned dwarved by civilians who run away when the enemy comes near. I've never actually built one, though.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 11, 2013)

This is the History of Spring

*1st Granite, 131*






treefrog is last miserable dwarf. She is legendary miner and founding dwarf and must not be allowed to rampage. Despite no military training, she is mighty through long years of exercise and her pick is sharp. I deny her all labours and construct personal pleasure palace in museum room. Spending one night in this glorious room should bring her round to contentment.






Other few miserable dwarves are children, but children cannot do harm when having tantrum. Child Atir is one such dwarf. His blows glance off rutabowa, who bears them no notice.






*3rd Granite, 131*

New Bouldergloves has design flaw. Entrance is so far away from regular dwarf activity, ambush is already through gates when detected. Fisherdwarf Bakunin is startled in the golden entry hall.






He is fast enough to retreat from advancing hammer goblins, but pikeman goblin is ahead of him and blocks his path. Bakunin receives a nasty flesh wound in his arm.






Bakunin is pursued across the inner field of New Bouldergloves, while The Scratches get stuck in to the hammermen. frogwoman has brought her newborn baby into battle. If I had noted that she had birthed, I would not have ordered it. But she and xes are tremendously skilled warriors, landing many blows.

Lesser soldiers pigtails and favelado are in the thick of it, making contributions and admiring fine work of our Axelords.






Dr Jon rescues Bakunin from his chase, engaging the goblin in spear-on-spear combat in centre of granite pillar circle. The goblin is surprised by the ferocity of the speardwarf's attack. They stab at each other, but Dr Jon's superior armour and agility win through. After a brief wrestle, it is a stab to the brain that kills the goblin.






It is complete victory. Dotcommunist and frogwoman's baby has not a scratch. Novice dwarves Favelado, spirals, bi0boy, fuck-seals, Dr Jon, Clair De Lune, pigtails, Violentpanda, stuff_it, yardbird and fisherman Bakunin all gain combat experience.

*10th Granite, 131*






Stanley Edwards throws a party. Shippou Chan, wtfftw, pennimania and child Sibrek attend.

*22nd Granite, 131*

Pump stack progresses above ground. It is tedious work, organising construction, but satisfaction will be great.

*6th Slate, 131*

Oh no. Not again.






I order the fill tube stop lever pulled and the Great Hall begins to drain. All that handmade floor will be muddy. At least it is preventing more dwarves from attending Stanley's party, which is still ongoing.






I must drain cistern entirely this time, and remove malfunctioning pressure plate. It will let us bury those dead dwarves as well. The ghost of Hollis will have to haunt somewhere else.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 12, 2013)

*18th Slate, 131*

Migrants. Sixteen. One highly skilled herbalist. Very useful, I'm sure.

*26th Slate, 131*

Maurice Picarda forbids the export of sceptres. I believe there are one or two such items in our trade goods stockpile. I will be careful when the caravan comes. IF the caravan comes.

Slate has mostly occupied my time with constructing pump stack. I cannot tell you of the tedium that vertical construction brings. Excavating from the earth is so much more easy, some might say more properly dwarven. To those I would say: You have not seen my waterfalls.

*11th Felsite, 131*











This WILL NOT DO. My rooms are luxurious, but other dwarves enjoy high quality rooms. MINE MUST BE THE BEST ROOMS. THIS IS MY MANDATE AS BARON! All walls in my quarters to be engraved.






MORE STATUES! WAAAAAAAH! YOU! DWARF! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!






Ah, that felt good.






*14th Felsite, 131*

TREEFROG! RUDE DWARF! YOU MUST NOT HAVE PALATIAL ROOM!
GET!
OUT!

*16th Felsite, 131*





I block cistern inlet with solid wall. Accidents cannot happen again. rich! is sent to the lowest level, to release water from the cistern. He will escape through door.






Cursed pressure plate will be removed. In future all cistern operations will be manual. No more floods in Bouldergloves. Just two more pumps are required for the stack. Now, the water will fall. Safely.

*24th Felsite, 131*






With cistern empty, bodies are accessible. They are hauled quickly to graves. The restless spirits that haunted the water are now at rest.



Spoiler: game mechanic



Nobles can get very upset if they feel that any other dwarves are getting better treatment. I thought it was because the Mayor's rooms were higher quality, so I pimped up Crispy's. That didn't work. Then I remembered that treefrog was getting cheered up in her pleasure palace, so I kicked her out. That didn't work. Crispy was on the verge of going insane from inferiority, when I realised that he owned both his new palatial apartment *and* his old 3-tile bedroom. It was *that* room he was complaining about. So I de-allocated it and bam, happiness started to go back up. Phew.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Jun 12, 2013)

You can carve memorials on slabs for dead dwarves with inaccessible bodies btw, which puts ghosts to rest. Not that I should be telling you this. I should be haunting you in your fancy-pants bedroom.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 12, 2013)

And now, an admission 

I have save scummed. I fucked up the game and reloaded from an earlier save. I wouldn't normally, and the practice is frowned on. The whole point of the game is to attempt the balancing of countless spinning plates. Eventually, they come crashing down. But the mistake I made was so stupid, and the consequences so brutal, I just couldn't live with myself.

I ordered the cistern drained but didn't forbid access to its bottom level. I also neglected to dismantle the auto-refill mechanism. So, what happened was, the cistern drained very quickly, dwarves ran inside to gather the skeletons, and then got soaked by the cistern filling back up. The torrent of water swept them out of the cistern and into the drain, falling 30 levels straight down to a messy death. But now the skeletons were entered in the "corpse hauling" schedule, dwarves kept trying to get in to pick them up, but got swept away and down the drain. I was busy at the top of the sky tower doing some fiddly designations and wasn't paying attention to the alerts at the bottom. I only began to notice when my construction designations were taking longer and longer to fulfill. It turns out 3/4 of the whole fortress had merrily marched into the drain of death and there was an enormous pile of dwarves and dwarf body parts in the caverns. I *wish* I'd taken a screenshot.

It would have been a crummy way to end the story. So I went back and did it right.

I was quite prepared to let the Crispy dwarf go insane after that, and carry on writing from some other dwarf's POV, but I pulled it back from the brink. Just.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 12, 2013)

FridgeMagnet said:


> You can carve memorials on slabs for dead dwarves with inaccessible bodies btw, which puts ghosts to rest. Not that I should be telling you this. I should be haunting you in your fancy-pants bedroom.


I usually do, but stationary ghosts don't disturb anyone, so I leave them in as a talking point


----------



## fractionMan (Jun 12, 2013)

A bold admission, but given the tale you're telling I can see why you reloaded


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 12, 2013)

That's not proper save scumming.  proper save scumming is saving every 30 seconds  and  constantly reloading if things don't go your way

personally i don't think you need to go 100% ironman on this


----------



## Crispy (Jun 13, 2013)

*12th Hematite, 131*

Feeling happier now I have best rooms in Bouldergloves. Do not want to recall mental state of last few weeks; it is painful to think how close I came to madness.

*5th Malachite, 131*

Migrants. Ten. Total population of Bouldergloves is now one hundred fifty three adult dwarves, forty one children, twenty one babies, for a total of two hundred thirteen.



Spoiler: game mechanic



I have the Max Population setting at 200, which is the number over which I will not get any more migration waves. This *should* be the last of them then, barring any mass die-offs.


 
*11th Malachite, 131*






This could be great opportunity. If Mrs Magpie produces artifact armour, then soldiers of Bouldergloves will be indestuctrable, as well as unstoppable. She claims a magma forge. She gathers adamantine among many other items. We wait with baited breath.






*14th Malachite, 131*

It is complete. Finest engineering achievement of The Lean Rim. Wonder of Bouldergloves. Dispenser of Happy Thoughts. It is The Waterfaller. It consists of three parts.

First, the power source. The cistern input has a wide branch now, which leads to the Turbine Hall. A bank of water wheels will be spun by the flow. The input gate is controlled by a remote lever.






Second, the pump stack, which rises beside the Sky Tower. Input to stack is from upper level of cistern and rises 15 levels from input to output.






Third, the Fall itself, which drops through grates at top of Sky Tower. It falls 13 levels before arriving in the center of the Great Hall, where further grates capture the water for return to the cistern.

*20th Malachite, 131*

Everything is prepared. Water routes are checked and double checked. No dwarves are in path of flow. Activation of the waterfaller proceeds step by step. Levers are arranged in control room. Remember which lever is which, dwarves!






Step One: Fill the Cistern






The water rushes in, but the lever operator is on standby to shut off inlet before further flooding. This is a safe operation now.

Step Two: Open the Sky Tower Floor






A great clanging echoes around the Great Hall as the petalled chert roof retracts to the edges of the tower above. Now the ceiling of the hall reaches 15 levels high. Awe is inspired.

Step Three: Engage Turbines






The sound of smooth flowing water whistles through the drain system. Shortly after, the rumble and grind of wheels and gears. Machinery of Bouldergloves awakes!

Now we await first pumping. Progress is rapid and water soon reaches Sky Tower summit.






In Great Hall, fuck-seals, weepiper, Old Gergl, Chrisfilter, Favelado and dotcommunist are among dwarves who witness first falling water. Happy thoughts are countless and Bouldergloves reaches new level of civilised society.






*26th Malachite, 131*






As celebration of Waterfaller activation, Mrs. Magpie creates a magnificent artifact. It is named Voidseige, highly decorated and studded with gems. It will go to dotcommunist. Unfortunately, Mrs Magpie receives no blessing of legendary skill. She will continue to be merely an adequate armoursmith.



Spoiler: game mechanic



There are three types of creative moods, Fey, Secretive and Possessed. Unfortunately, possessed moods don't result in the instant max-out of the skill being mooded. No legendary sets of armour for Bouldergloves just yet...


----------



## tommers (Jun 13, 2013)

Did you create that waterfall yourself? Or is it following a previous plan from the wiki or something?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 13, 2013)

Nope, it's all my own design


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 14, 2013)

Lovely. Now build that railway


----------



## Crispy (Jun 18, 2013)

*14th Galena, 131*






New Bouldergloves paving progresses. Great Circle around Great Hall. Training of militia squads continues alongside. In future, all squads will have own barracks and training space.






That training will have to be put into practice, as the goblins return for a second siege. They approach from three sides, Pikemen from the North led by an Axe Lord. Hammermen from the East led by a Spearmaster and from Southwest comes their general, Tode Craftedspiders who leads lashers on ratback. They are supported by eleven war cave dragons from East and West, which approach unaccompanied.






I order the north gate closed and muster all military dwarves within its gatehouse. There they will be out of sight of approaching enemy and will not attack without orders.






A cave dragon is first to test defences.






It is immediately caged.






As hammers and pikes jostle around perimeter wall, more dragons enter via traps. One is skilled dodger, avoiding moving blades, but it dodges into cage trap and is caught.






Next three dragons have mixed fortunes. One is caged. One receives deep leg wound but comes through, trailing blood. One is decapitated. Spearmaster of hammer squad leads goblins into maw of traps.

I order The Staves to intercept the wounded dragon. It is powerful enough to destroy doors and heads for pasture access.

Oversight! Access to pump construction area was left unroofed! Dragons locate hole in floor and enter backstage Bouldergloves, where they begin destroying pumps.






They are one level away from Great Hall full of civilians and children. I order blocking wall constructed and The Scratches to attend. If wall is not built, then dragons must be prevented access to tender organs of Bouldergloves.






Meanwhile on surface, spearmaster goblin evades all traps. His troops are less agile and find difficulty in spinning serrated discs and stabbing blades. Bi0boy is first recruit to join battle with wounded dragon. No wounds are made in initial contact, as dragon dodges and dwarf armour deflects.






First dragon reaches level of Great Hall. But Barking_Mad has dabbling masonry skill and manages to construct wall in time. Now invading dragons may move freely within cistern system, but no further.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 18, 2013)

*17th Galena, 131*






Dragon damage means no supply for pump stack. Waterfaller begins to run dry. Cave dragons cannot fly, so they cannot destroy stack itself, but turbine hall and cistern extract are fair game.

The pavement of New Bouldergloves stains red with blood. Dragon is brought down in hail of crossbow bolts. Spirals bravely attempts combat with two of the beasts. She receives some wounds, but inflicts none. This battle requires greater skill. I order The Scratches forward.






A goblin pikeman joins in the torture of poor Spirals. He jabs his spear at her left hand, but the blow is dulled by her steel armour. A dragon inflicts a greater wound by removing her foot.






frogwoman strikes the first blow of revenge, disabling the dragon in one strike of her fabled steel axe. However, as soon as it drops spirals, its partner wastes no time in crushing her head in its jaws. Spirals is first casualty of siege.






Frogwoman and dotcommunist exhibit their skill together. They have brought their baby again, thinking that they can protect it, but this time their enemies are too many and it is soon brought down.






While brave dwarves do battle with dragons, the main body of the invasion approaches the traps.






But the goblin axelord is imprisoned by a cage trap, which breaks the resolve of the remaining goblin army. Before they can even threaten Bouldergloves, they are turned away at the gates in fear.






Only two goblin pikemen made it through the traps. They are no match for The Scratches.






Old Gergl swings his hammer with great effect, making a one strike kill of a goblin pikeman. The second goblin manages to wrestle him to the ground. Old Gergl is quickly on his feet again and makes repeated blows to the head without pause.






Final two invaders of Bouldergloves are war dragons. Heavily wounded by traps, they bleed to death near the South gate. Bouldergloves is safe once more. All is quiet.

Too quiet.

Victorious peace is ruined by sudden emergence of four dragons. Bored of destroying pumps, they pour out of hole in ground. They are unwounded, and in a playful mood. All military dwarves are ordered into the scrum.






The fight is chaotic and body parts fly in many arcs. Favelado makes a clean decapitation with his sword. Sasaferrato has his leg broken. bi0boy stabs dragon clean through the head with his sword. Crossbowdwarves provide valuable support. Sasaferrato has his head clawed off. Pigtails makes final kill, driving spear point into dragon brain.

Two goblins lie crippled outside the gates. I order recruits to finish them off. It will be valuable experience.






yardbird and Titansound make torture of goblin with their hammers, breaking many bones.






fractonman swiftly finishes both goblins off with his axe. It is done. The second great battle of Bouldergloves. We count our wounded and sing praises of the fallen. Summer is past and now we look to Autumn. It will bring much surgery and trade.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 19, 2013)

what is it with dwarves and their damn war babies.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 19, 2013)

This is possibly the saddest thing I have ever seen in a video game:


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 19, 2013)

Oh that's tragic


----------



## Stigmata (Jun 19, 2013)

You seem pretty well established now. What is there left that can pose a realistic threat to the barony?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 19, 2013)

Stigmata said:


> You seem pretty well established now. What is there left that can pose a realistic threat to the barony?


 
Demons, Vampires, Night Creatures, Forgotten Beasts, Titans, Rocs, Dragons (proper dragons, not the wimpy cave sort), Necromancers and their legions of undead, Bronze Colossi, Stupidity, Despair, Magma.

Attacks by megabeasts have been suspiciously infrequent so far...


----------



## Crispy (Jun 19, 2013)

This is the History of Autumn

*2nd Limestone, 131*







Bouldergloves recuperates. In the hospital lies our most unhappy dwarf, rutabowa. Unhappiness is relative. He has many happy thoughts as befits a citizen of this splendid fortress, but they are tainted by thoughts of death and pain. Maurice Picarda competently sutures his wounds. It will take time, but he shall recover eventually.






Spoils of war include four female cave dragons. These formidable beasts are now property of Bouldergloves. Wild and dangerous, they cannot be tamed. I begin plans for zoo.

*7th Limestone, 131*






All of Bouldergloves is busy. Constructing replacement pumps. Repairing holes in floor. Storing war booty. Building zoo. Moving caged creatures.

*22nd Limestone, 131*

Zoo is complete, in East wing of New Bouldergloves. It holds our four great cave dragons. They are named Usbu, Mato, Osta and Usbu again. They will never taste freedom. Zoo is instant favorite with dwarves.






*12th Sandstone, 131*

8ball receives creative inspiration. She is talented weaponsmith and will no doubt create legendary weapon. I have prepared a workshop for just such occasions. With its own supply of steel and adamantine, she shall use it to create a wonderous artifact. I lock doors to all other forges.






I forget that there is back stair. 8ball claims a regular forge. Her daughter Meng watches over her work.






*21st Sandstone, 131*

More migrants? What madness is this? Bouldergloves bulges yet still they come. Very well. We have spare beds. Thirteen new dwarves for hauling.

I may enlarge our military soon. Between periods of excitement and construction, we have many idle hands.



Spoiler: game mechanic



I thought I put a limit on migration! I'll have to fix this. Endless growth will end up killing performance as more and more dwarves have to pathfind through the fortress.


 
*22nd Sandstone, 131*

8ball is worrying me.

She needs cut gems, stone, leather and metal. Bouldergloves has all in abundance. Perhaps she is being picky. I ask husband emanymanton of her preferences. It seems that her favorite metal is sterling silver. We have none, but we do have silver and copper. I make order at smelter.

*5th Timber, 131*

My worries were unfounded. Whatever was holding 8ball back has released its grip. She gathers an impressive array of materials and begins her craft.






*7th Timber, 131*

We have run out of granite blocks! Inconceivable! I order copious mining and set all masons workshops to block manufacture.

*12th Timber, 131*






8ball has taken adamantine, that magical metal, light as feathers, sharp as glass, and made a blunt weapon with it. Wooden maces are more deadly. She gains no experience from her possessed mood either. At least she is happy.

As she leaves to store useless weapon, she hears a scuttling. A pack of crundles gathers outside the forges. They are pathetic creatures.






We have quite a collection of leather and bone in Bouldergloves, but no crundle parts. I order attack.






While bulk of dwarves chase crundles off into caverns, fractionMan alone approaches the crundles in their lair.






The slaughter is rapid. No crundle gets a blow in.



Spoiler: battle report



Completely pointless reporting. I knew these things were weak, but they go down at the slightest tap of a masterwork steel axe. No fun at all 


 
*17th Timber, 131*

Thank the gods, the caravan has not been put off by last year's accidental theft. Merchants holler from top of blood hill. Now we can trade back all the weird and useless items they left behind. Bouldergloves does not need toys and flutes. It needs drink, wood and weapons. Let us trade!

*24th Timber, 131*






I am taken aback. Rith Ellis sends seven wagons of goods for trade. We are honoured. We trade all broken clothes, non-steel weapons and armour, useless toys and crafts, and few gold crafts. We take all wood, drink food and steel. Bouldergloves is stocked for many years now.

As liaison departs, I receive great news. Our position is elevated. These lands are now a county and I am their Count. I order upgrades to my chambers, befitting my rank.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 19, 2013)

> Frogwoman and dotcommunist exhibit their skill together. They have brought their baby again, thinking that they can protect it, but this time their enemies are too many and it is soon brought down.


 
Take that, CSA


----------



## stuff_it (Jun 19, 2013)

el-ahrairah said:


>


 
It took you that long? You must lice at the arse end of the internet.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 19, 2013)

When I get to the end of this year, I'm going to have a think about where to go next (sorry bees, I'll do that train at some point!). Stigmata has a good point - there isn't much risk any more, and grand construction projects are rather boring to write about. I might report year 132 in highlights, rather than the rather obsessive style I've been using so far.

This is by far my most successful Dwarf Fortress game though. Something's *got* to wrong now, surely?


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 19, 2013)

stuff_it said:


> It took you that long? You must lice at the arse end of the internet.


 
arselice is technically crabs


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 19, 2013)

Crispy said:


> When I get to the end of this year, I'm going to have a think about where to go next (sorry bees, I'll do that train at some point!). Stigmata has a good point - there isn't much risk any more, and grand construction projects are rather boring to write about. I might report year 132 in highlights, rather than the rather obsessive style I've been using so far.
> 
> This is by far my most successful Dwarf Fortress game though. Something's *got* to wrong now, surely?


 

can you go to War?


----------



## Crispy (Jun 20, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> can you go to War?


it is planned for future versions, but not yet 
There's loads of goblin forts the other side of the mountains and all...


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 20, 2013)

Crispy said:


> When I get to the end of this year, I'm going to have a think about where to go next (sorry bees, I'll do that train at some point!). Stigmata has a good point - there isn't much risk any more, and grand construction projects are rather boring to write about. I might report year 132 in highlights, rather than the rather obsessive style I've been using so far.


 
Nah, keep it up, it's ace  I like seeing just how detailed some of the stuff in the game is


----------



## el-ahrairah (Jun 20, 2013)

stuff_it said:


> It took you that long? You must lice at the arse end of the internet.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 20, 2013)

This is the History of Winter

*5th Opal, 131*

First floor of New Bouldergloves is under construction. Here will be barracks, armouries and training rooms. First completed training room is dedicated to The Helmed Scratches. Frowoman completes one round of training and becomes Axe Lord. She is mighty.






On square boundary towers, we build fortifications. From here, crossbows will rain bolts on our enemies. Only the very skilled will attempt the reverse.



Spoiler: game mechanic



Dwarves will only see through and fire at things on the other side of a fortification if they are right up against it, so it's wise to construct a wall one tile back to force them alongside. Only legendary enemy archers can fire _back_ through and hit the dwarf within. However, a wall at their back makes dodging incoming bolts difficult, as it removes 3 of the 5 possible dodging directions. The solution is a wall of statues. Statues can be dodged into (and the dwarf pops back out again), but not walked on. They herd the marksdwarves, but do not impede their dodging.


 
*17th Opal, 131*

Metalworkers report of strange noises. First one animal, then another. The sounds of surface animals, where there should be none. Even the sounds of dwarven industry: Ringing hammers, rasping saws. We know of the lyrebird's great talent for mimicry, but at this volume, the bird must be of gargantuan proportions. We must plan for the worst. All military dwarves are summoned to the forges.






Uno the Forgotten Beast marches directly towards forges. It can smell dwarf through the doors. ViolentPanda is first to muster. I order him forwards to test the beast's mettle. He is a brave dwarf and heads out alone. I count his chances. It does not take long to count them.






ViolentPanda's first blow is a strong one. Uno's response is to emit noxious poison.






ViolentPanda's poisoned weapon hand begins to throb.






Despite the pain, he makes another strike, fracturing Uno's wing bones. But it is not a killing blow. Uno's vastness is in its favour when push comes to shove. It pushes ViolentPanda's skull through his brain and shoves his body into the wall.






His death was honourable and useful both. He scored severe blows and tested non-lethality of poisons. I feel confident in Bouldergloves ability to slay Uno, so order the attack in full. xes leads charge of good range of weapons.






He carries a legendary steel axe with seven kills to its name. His first attack is a punch to the head. In reply, Uno charges and bowls him over. It begins to go like ViolentPanda's death, but xes is superior dodger and scrambles away from followup.







As frogwoman arrives, xes stands up and they both attack, causing deep flesh wounds.







Uno bleeds profusely from its upper leg. It is fighting poorly.






xes chops uno's beak off. Now its cries emit only from its trunk. They are ragged and mournful. pigtails thrusts her spear into its belly, tearing its guts. frogwoman's weapon hand begins to throb. Now xes removes its trunk with his axe and the only noise it makes is a spluttering gurgle of blood and poison gas. It is savage butchery from all sides. The record will show that xes made the kill, but it is team effort. Glory to Bouldergloves. Death to invaders.






*18th Opal, 131*






As frogwoman heads home, she trails blood. She has no visible wounds, but the fever continues to ache in her right hand, which so recently held her legendary axe, DredgeWorker. The effects of Beast poisons are as varied as the gems of the earth. She attends hospital and awaits diagnosis by emanymanton.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 24, 2013)

*21st Opal, 131*

Spanky Longhorn, our current mayor, is upset with his furniture provision.






Very well, Spanky, I shall order one for you. We have the steel.

frogwoman appears cured of her feverous hand. She spars with her husband in The Scratches' new training room.






*23rd Opal, 131*

Wilf, ranger, dared to hunt a giant cave spider. He has paid for his daring with entrapment in its webs, and injection with its poison. He struggles in his predicament, but it is futile. Giant cave spider venom is known for its paralysing ability. He will suffocate if he is not eaten first.






This beast must not be engaged at close range. Even the most skilled axe lord may be webbed and bitten. We must engage at range. I order The Wires to attack. May their bolts fly true.






Wilf cannot move from the torso up. His utter defencelessness allows the spider to rip into his head and neck. It is not known if the venom also dulls pain, for those afflicted cannot speak to tell. For Wilf's sake, I hope that it does.

But he is keeping the spider distracted, which is useful.

Stanley Edwards and 5tella arrive and let loose a volley of crossbow bolts. Stanley scores very lucky hit.






But it was never going to be quick enough for Wilf, who bleeds to death. We will weave all this silk into cloth to clothe Bouldergloves.






*15th Obsidian, 131*

For the second time this year, the goblins mount an attack. They come in three melee squads from the North, and one archer squad from the south. Trolls support from the East and West. The enemy number eighty six in total, by far the largest assault yet. This will be first test of Bouldergloves fortifications and archery defence. All soldiers are ordered to first floor of New Bouldergloves, all civilians are ordered inside, and the North gate is closed. Let them come.






The Eastern trolls are first to arrive. They are not agile, and are all cut into pieces by the traps.






Next, goblin archers test the entrance. Kalidarkone, straggler from construction works on first floor, takes arrows to the thigh and hand. She collapses and gives in to pain. She will be rescued after the battle, providing she retains blood.






Half the archers are messily dispatched in the traps. The other half hold back and continue taking shots at Kalidarkone. She is unconscious, so cannot feel the impact of more arrows. Meanwhile, the Western trolls approach. One of them manages to pass through, but it is grievously wounded; its upper and lower body is cut open, spilling its guts, its spine is broken, and both its kidneys are ruptured. It manages two tiles before collapsing.

Two of our animals were pastured on wrong side of wall - a goose and a rooster. Macegoblins make brief detour to batter them into pulp.






The traps are now so clogged with troll organs that they are sluggish. A pack of them enters the courtyard. Now is the time for combat. All melee troops are ordered into battle. frogwoman and xes lead the charge.






One troll ignores the fight. Trailing blood, it heads down the stairs. It meets fractionMan coming up them.






frogwoman and xes decapitate their foes. The trolls are boisterous and knock dwarves around, but armour protects them and they re-foot themselves. Edged weapons cut deep wounds in soft troll flesh.

frogwoman chases fast troll. xes battles mighty troll, which repeatedly knocks him to the floor. Other loose troll chases a ram around in circles.






As other dwarves clear up in the courtyard, xes regains Axe Lord status and takes fight to goblin pikemen. It is a splendid scene. The traps whir and slice. The mighty dwarf dances between the spinning blades, dealing finishing blows.



Spoiler: I thought he was an Axe Lord already?



Skills get rusty when not used. I had all military on stand-down while constructing the new barracks, so they all lost a few XP in their combat abilities. Getting stuck in to a proper fight soon fixed that.








The ram runs up ramp to first floor.
The troll chases the ram.
Stuff_it chases the troll.






One of The Wires glimpses the chase around corner of wall and lets loose a single bolt. It strikes the troll in the leg, bringing it to the floor. The ram stops running and fights back. Stuff_it joins in with her axe. They are perfect team.






At entrance xes, frogwoman and dotcommunist stand side by side. With their comrades bi0boy, pigtails, rutabowa, Favelado and Grotty Scutta, they number eight. They face nineteen goblins. Those are good odds.






More butchery follows. The Scratches do what they do best and reduce goblins to piles of limbs and organs. Remainder of goblin squad retreats, but reinforcements are on way. Only bi0boy considers them a threat and engages alone.






He is soon backed up by his fellows of The Staves, and they easily overwhelm. Their morale broken, the goblins flee. But dwarves of Bouldergloves show no mercy and give pursuit. All but one are killed.

*21st Obsidian, 131*

There has been no greater victory in history of Bouldergloves. of eighty six invaders, over sixty are dead. The rest have fled. We have sustained no fatalities. Soldiers have no disabling wounds. Only major casualty is Kalidarkone, who has lived out the battle on top of wall. She is carried to hospital by Red Rose.






Her injuries are many, but she is sturdy dwarf and Maurice Picarda is fine doctor.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 24, 2013)

I've got Stonesense up and running, which is a live visualiser, but not an interface for the game. It's pretty, but actually makes things confusing, so I don't use it for actual play. Here are some shots of Bouldergloves, from the bottom up. Bear in mind that the play area is 3x as wide in both directions than is visible in these images.

Z-level 20: This is near the very bottom of the world. The only reason to come down here is to mine Adamantium. I also have a small processing industry for it, so dwarves don't have to carry the raw ore upstairs.





Z-level 122: The metalwork industry, powered by magma.





Z-level 141: The top cavern layer (there are three). This is full of water now, after many months of collecting water from the turbine outlet. I made sure the lowest point was tunnelled to the edge of the map so it can drain, otherwise the whole thing would fill up eventually and the system would back up, preventing the water wheels from running.





Z-level 168: Burial chambers. As a noble, Crispy requires a valuable tomb set aside or he gets unhappy. Dotcommunist and Frogwoman are not invincible: When they do meet their ends, they will rest together in fine tombs. Some careless dwarf has discarded a pair of trousers in there.





Z-level 171: Crispy's quarters and typical residential area.





Z-level 174: Main floor. The colour of the walls is determined by the stone type. Here, the Northwest parts of the Great Hall are made of Jet, hence the dark colour. There's little pools of blood by the waterfall grates, because the mist washes it off the dwarves, but there's no flowing water to carry it away.





Z-level 176: The Surface. That trail of blue troll blood stands out a mile. You can see where I'm going to extend the ceiling of the Great Hall. Also note how bare the ground is in the pasture. Hungry animals.





Z-level 178: New Bouldergloves. I turned the dwarf names on but you can't read them at this zoom. Never mind. Four barracks for melee troops on the East side, with a planned archery range in the middle. The Western side will look different.





Z-level 188: Top of the tower. This is as high as any dwarf can get. I would build taller, but it's a pain in the arse.


----------



## fractionMan (Jun 24, 2013)

it makes my fortress look like a hovel


----------



## Crispy (Jun 26, 2013)

This is the History of Spring

*1st Granite, 132*

The prisoners of Bouldergloves are many.






I designate three areas for excavation, one atop the other. Middle layer is adjacent to Great Hall and will be viewing gallery.






Upper level has openings in floor and will be holding pen.






Lower level will be completed later in the season.

*12th Granite, 132*

Child Amost withdraws from society and claims a workshop. He gathers many items and begins work.

*21st Granite, 132*






Amost has finished his work. It is magnificent cabinet with decorated images on every face. One side shows dotcommunist's legendary adamantine shield, as crafted by Mrs. Magpie in Spring of 131. The other shows hated Vampire Queen Udil. We will place that side against the wall.






*15th Slate, 132*






How did this happen? Crundle is spotted in bedroom hallway. Did a dwarf release it from a cage? No matter. Titansound makes short work of it with his mace. Its corpse lies bloody in the doorway.

*17th Slate, 132*

The lower level is complete. I order The Fair Portals and The Staves of Influencing into the arena.






Civilian dwarves gather on the gallery.






I designate four goblins for dropping. Pieface does duty.






The carnage is almost instant. The drop stuns goblins, who are quickly cut to pieces by waiting dwarves.






Grotty Scutta stands in wrong place and receives takes goblin to the head. It is bad timing.






Other dwarves are also injured. It is not a succesful bout. Casualties are carried to hospital and I rethink my plans for live training exercises. Bouldergloves military is looking thin. I heave book of dwarves onto my desk (it is now a mighty tome) and consider recruiting. We will reorganise. All squads will be disbanded. We will form four new squads of melee dwarfs, each under command of one of our legends. All squads will be brought up to strength. Training schedules will be kept.

There are four squads, each named for the material of their armour stand in their training room. They are Granite, led by xes, Cobaltite led by Old Gergl, Mica, led by dotcommunist and Chert, led by frogwoman. I assign minimum training allocation of half strength, to allow for breaks and socialising. A happy dwarf is a strong dwarf.

*7th Felsite, 132*






Magneze comes to me with schocking news. Alcohol supplies are critically low. I check brewery and find no record of brewing orders. This is rectified immediately.






*22nd Felsite, 132*

Two kobold thieves are killed by Squads Chert and Mica. New recruits Upchuck, izz, madamv and Vintage Paw get first taste of blood.

*24th Felsite, 132*

For our star soldiers, I order axes of adamantine. xes, frogwoman and dotcommunist will lacerate all enemies.






moggy, legendary weaponsmith since 129, works his art.


----------



## Crispy (Jun 27, 2013)

This is the History of Summer

*12th Galena, 132*

We have completed the Great Hall roof. Now the ceiling rises three tiles, and the sound of dwarves drinking and eating echoes correctly.

It has come to my attention that I may appoint one dwarf to the rank of Champion. They will be expert trainer, able to dispense wisdom to all squads regardless of ability. There are three reasonable candidates: xes, frogwoman and dotcommunist. dotcommunist. I decide by counting kills. They count as follows:

dotcommunist: nine notable kills, nine other kills
xes: fifteen notable kills including Izem the cyclops and uno the forgotten beast, three other kills
frogwoman: twenty two notable kills including Noloc the forgotten beast and three dragons, four other kills






Decision is easy. Frogwoman is Champion of Bouldergloves.

*25th Galena, 132*

Arena will be reopened, with improvement. Squad to train will wait in antechamber. Targets will be introduced. And only then will combat take place. No more death by falling goblin. Granite Squad is first.






Three trolls are selected. Truxta, Old Gergl and emanymanton swiftly drop them through trap doors. Some crossbowdwarves are in the gallery and take shots as they fall.






Combat is swift. J Ed, dervish and vixen gain notable experience. No injuries are sustained. I order round two. Goblins this time. Armed.






Combat is just as rapid. More recruits gain experience. The gallery is entertained.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 27, 2013)

*cough* Railway *cough*


----------



## Crispy (Jun 27, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> *cough* Railway *cough*


 
I have not forgotten you


----------



## Crispy (Jun 27, 2013)

This is the History of Autumn

*21st Limestone, 132*

I think longingly of adamantine, but am frustrated by magma. I imagine the spires of it within magma's clutches. One day, we will harden it and dig out the precious metal. I plan for waterworks to deliver cooling.






*28th Sandstone, 132*






A new enemy of Bouldergloves arrises in the depths. I make no grand tactical plan. All soldiers muster in the caverns. Usan arrives.

It is over as soon as it starts. Usan is attacked from all sides and does not manage one counter attack. Geminisnake is credited with the kill, for her spear strike to the brain.

We heard tales of such beasts wiping out entire forts. We find them no threat. Bouldergloves has great luck or great strength. Either is welcome.

*18th Timber, 132*

The liaison and trade caravan have arrived. There is little we need to trade for, but welcome them anyway. They have traveled far and we are kin.






I meet with liaison to receive news. I enquire of the health of our vile vampire ruler. She continues to thrive. She knows of Bouldergloves now. Our efforts are legend. Such is our prosperity that Bouldergloves becomes duchy and I its Duke. Only the Queen ranks above me now.






Next, I receive most unsettling news. Queen Udil grows tired of capital city Sackwalk and considers reigning from other mountainhome. A small trade offering would convince her to choose Bouldergloves. We would be capital city of all the Bells of Thinning.






My first thought is to decline, for we are proudly independent. But my second thought is delicious thought. Yes, I tell him, yes we will make most generous offering to glorious Queen Udil and receive her with the hospitality that Bouldergloves is famous for. _Long live the Queen._


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jun 27, 2013)




----------



## Maurice Picarda (Jun 27, 2013)

I'm surprised to find that I'm genuinely interested in seeing what happens next.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 27, 2013)

*sharpens stake*


----------



## Crispy (Jun 28, 2013)

*4th Moonstone, 132*






While carrying gold ore to smelter, Shirl is gored by angry ghost. Foul spectre! I hurry order for memorial slab. The dead must rest.

*5th Moonstone*, 132






Shirl's wounds are too deep and she dies before reaching hospital. The dead must rest.

*15th Moonstone, 132*






I order construction of Royal Palace. Nothing but the finest rooms for Queen Udil the mighty. Grand causeway leads from central courtyard.

*28th Moonstone, 132*





Floor of throne room is of cobaltite and gold. It is also of blood, but that is unavoidable here. It suits her tastes.
*12th Opal, 132*

Royal Palace will also require furnishing. I set all forges to producing golden statues and furniture. It is important that QUeen Udil knows our history, so I set master engraver Poot to work.

She makes most satisfying choice of subject.






Yes, most satisfying indeed.






My satisfaction knows no bounds.






*11th Obsidian, 132*

Preparations for Queen Udil's arrival are interrupted by goblin attack. Five squads of sixteen melee goblins each. Two squads of trolls. Each squad is called to duty at its barracks. The Wires take up position on battlements. The forces of darkness approach, but we do not fear them.






The Wires are well positioned to harras invaders. First are trolls, who make usual mess of traps.






Next are swordsgoblins, but their leader is elite bowman. He halts his squad and fires back at The Wires. His aim is good enough to penetrate fortifications, and several dwarves are incapacitated. I order Chert and Mica squads out to bring him down.






But timing could not be worse. Full strength of invasion force is upon us and all dwarves rush into battle. There is no more time for tactics. It is all or nothing.






xes charges onto field and takes out elite bowman. It is only discernible detail from a battle that is hidden by clouds of blood and flying body parts. It is only over when last squad of swordsgoblins flee the battlefield.






We count six casualties: blairsh, feyr and Wouldbe are among them. The fourth is   founding dwarf fractionMan, which now leaves five of original seven alive. Somehow, in the midst of the battle, a goblin sword found its way into the skull of xes, axe lord, sending him to death in an instant. But most painful loss is frogwoman, champion of Bouldergloves. No dwarf saw her fall, but there her body lies for all to see. To lose two such heroes of Bouldergloves and one of its founders on the same day is crippling blow to pride.






Many dwarves are taken to hospital. Maurice Picarda and emanymanton have their work cut out. I recruit lemontop, mwgdrwg and Greebo as nurses.

dotcommunist is now champion of Bouldergloves. I will order full set of adamantine armour for his personal use. We cannot lose another hero.

*28th Obsidian, 132*

This is end of sixth year of Bouldergloves. Its most transformative. We have gained highest recognition of our people and also suffered our greatest loss. But 133 will be year recorded in history. Gods willing, we will claim capital status and house Queen Udil, may she drink the blood of a hundred dwarves.


----------



## Stigmata (Jun 28, 2013)

Crispy said:


> But timing could not be worse. Full strength of invasion force is upon us and all dwarves rush into battle. There is no more time for tactics. It is all or nothing.


 


This is the music in my head when I read this


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 29, 2013)

> But most painful loss is frogwoman, champion of Bouldergloves. No dwarf saw her fall, but there her body lies for all to see


 
Nooooooooooooooo




> dotcommunist is now champion of Bouldergloves. I will order full set of moggy's masterwork adamantine armour for his personal use. We cannot lose another hero


 


First my child and now my woman. There shall be vengeance!


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jun 29, 2013)

you're so distressed your images have broken


----------



## DotCommunist (Jun 29, 2013)

at least one of them works


----------



## FridgeMagnet (Jun 29, 2013)

You should be able to launch retaliation raids on goblins in DF, really. Train up a hundred or so Axe Lords in the danger room, mine under their defences then sit back and watch limbs fly.


----------



## Crispy (Jul 1, 2013)

This is the History of Spring

*3rd Granite, 133*

Royal palace progresses well. In order to correctly furnish it, tribute must be brought from the forges. But tribute is heavy and dwarves move slowly up staircase. To speed up delivery, we will build a railway. It is a complex business, requiring careful and precise designation of digging and carving of tracks. I designate track for elevation of 2 levels, to test design.

*14th Granite, 133*

Child Zas is held in grasp of creative urge. He assembles ingredients in adamantine workshop, far underground.






*24th Granite, 133*






tommers is first to test cart design. Impulse ramp should speed cart uphill in violation of natural law.






Natural law remains unviolated. Cart rolls back down ramp and narrowly misses tommers. We will try again.

*26th Granite, 133*






Zas makes a bracelet. Pretty bracelet.

*28th Granite, 133*

I identify track construction error and order another push. stuff_it gives minecart a shove and it heads up track.






This time, impulse works, but cart is stuck at top. Final connecting track must be carved.






*2nd Slate, 133*

beesonthewhatnow gives minecart push for the third time. Cart enters impulse ramp and spirals upward. We have elevated without the use of powered rollers. It is abuse of heretical physics, but it works.








Spoiler: What the?



This is an exploit, plain and simple. To get a cart to go uphill, you either have the dwarf push it, which is no faster than walking, or you have powered rollers, which need power from turbines, and a power transmission network, which also needs power. It's a colossal undertaking and quite frankly I cannot be bothered with building 50 levels of the fucking things. So instead, I'm abusing a bug where when a minecart derails onto an upwards ramp, it behaves as if it fell first, so accelerating it. This lets me build a 3x3 minecart elevator without any moving parts.



*6th Slate, 133*






We have two wells and 50 idle dwarves. Why did no dwarf bring this injured soldier water? Now we have lost a valuable archer.

*24th Slate, 133*






Reports of trumpet calls. The royal party has arrived! Welcome, Queen Udil. We are just preparing your quarters. Bear with us for a brief moment.






She brings with her expert soldiers. They may be her bodyguard, but they will make excellent replacements for lost heroes and squad leaders.






She makes the rounds. Children find her enthralling.

*11th Felsite, 133*

Udil is satisfied with all parts of Palace, but still finds quality of mausoleum wanting. She has good engraving skill, so I invite her to engrave her own tomb.






She has studied history of Bouldergloves well. Among her carvings are:

The fall of Migrurost, Searpent Woman
http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...s-succession-game.309562/page-5#post-12286908





The most recent election of dotcommunist to role of champion





longdog's election to mayor in 130
http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...s-succession-game.309562/page-6#post-12304963





My election as baron in the same year





Such expert engravings soon raise quality of mausoleum to royal status. Now Udil wants for nothing. But Bouldergloves' generosity overflows. I remove all labours from the Queen and allow her to relax in her palace. Soon, we will raise all tribute to her and lay it at her feet.


----------



## Crispy (Jul 1, 2013)

This is the History of Summer

*2nd Hematite, 133*

Excitement of Queen's arrival has begun to fade and now I do not feel happy at all.






Many things bother me. My clothes are ruined. I order fresh clothes made. Criminals are unpunished. I elevate Kizmet to Captain of The Guard. He is very weak, quick to tire and clumsy. Any beatings he delivers will be inconsequential. I build a prison for internment.






*4th Hematite, 133*
Kizmet identifies four criminals. redsnapper and stavros are guilty of exporting prohibited items. SubZe0Cat produced a forbidden item. And dotcommunist, despite exalted position in Bouldergloves' history, is also guilty of violating export prohibition.






redsnapper is first to face justice. She is hauled away to jail. Her son Adil keeps her company.





*11th Hematite, 133*

It is like a torch is lit in my mind. For some unknown reason, I have not left my quarters in months. My clothes are in tatters and I have been eating raw dimple cups day in and out. I wake from my stupor and fetch an exceptional plump helmet stew and bring it to my dining hall. I walk under waterfaller and it lifts my heart.








Spoiler: I'm a moron



I'd been restricting Crispy to his quarters all this time. I can't even remember why. He had a food supply, but was unable to leave and meet with other dwarves, see the waterfall, and get himself new clothes. I've released him now, so he *should* cheer up. Fingers crossed I've realised in time. Don't want him going insane.



*22nd Hematite, 133*

Last goblin attack was damaging to dwarves and moral of entire fortress. While our attentions are diverted by the construction of tribute to Queen Udil, I decide to build closing door for South Gate. Brogdale goes to building site to lay out design. He feels a chill and sees ghost of frogwoman, hovering still and silent above the place where she fell.






It is due to idiotic burial procedures. If first dwarf to die cannot be buried, then other dwarves in queue will not be buried, regardless of pre-assigned tomb.

I build more coffins.

*22nd Hematite, 133*






Child Lor has responded well to the creative spirits. He is now legendary bone carver, but will not carve again until adulthood.

*9th Galena, 133*






It was inevitable. The Queen is always hungry and must feed. Her count is now one thousand two hundred sixty.






*16th Galena, 133*

The goblins have returned. This time, I have no taste for battle and make simple decision to close gates of Bouldergloves. We have more important tasks.






I raise the palm of my hand and apply it to my face. I built the wrong sort of bridge. Instead of raising up to form an impenetrable barrier, it has retracted into itself and disappeared. The South Gate, although trapped, is wide open.






I curse my mistake. Lookouts identify the invading force as very large, led by hammer and axe lords and sword and pike masters. Sixty four goblins and eight trolls.

Very well, Bouldergloves is ready to be tested.

Against first wave, traps do their work particularly well. Not one spear, pike or troll makes it through.






Second wave of pikegoblins is more agile and some make it through traps. Sihi is already in the fight, collapsing goblin skull with her steel mace. They are led by Amxu, Goblin Axe Lord, a dangerous opponent. But we have strength in numbers and axe lords of our own.






At first sign of massed charge, Amxu turns and flees, leading his pike squad away.

Crossbows arrive also, led by hammer lord Ngokang. Sihi engages him in combat amongst the spinning traps, where his supreme agility lets him dance between all attacks.






He dances free into courtyard, where army of Bouldergloves comes to greet him. Bembul, legendary axe dwarf of the Queen's retinue, leads the charge.






But Ngokank's own agility is his downfall. Dodging Dervish's mace swing, he dodges into a cage trap and is prevented from further dancing.






dotcommunist performs his duties with usual panache.






He meets goblins punch with his own punch, shattering bone.






The fight goes well and goblins are crushed sliced and dismembered. Three lashers chase Liberty to the South. She parries and blocks well, but they are too numerous and eventually overwhelm.






Revenge is quick and army swarms remaining lashers. She is only casualty.


----------



## Bob_the_lost (Jul 1, 2013)

What of me oh mighty hermit leader? How do i serve you, do my children still live?


----------



## Crispy (Jul 1, 2013)

Bob_the_lost said:


> What of me oh mighty hermit leader? How do i serve you, do my children still live?


 
Well, you're well over the loss of your wife el_ahrairah five years ago. However, you grieve for your third eldest son, Stanley Edwards, who died of thirst in a hospital bed just this year. Your other children live on, but back home in Sackwalls.

Your older sister Yu_Gi_Oh still lives, as does Choc, your grandmother. You have some famous relatives. Maurice Picarda, #2 doctor of Bouldergloves is your nephew. xes, recently departed Axe Lord was your cousin. In fact, there are at least ten of your cousins here.

You are a High Master furnace operator, with not long to go before your reach Legendary status. You are ecstatic, without a bad thought in your dwarven head.


----------



## stuff_it (Jul 1, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Stanley Edwards, who died of thirst


 
*snigger*


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jul 1, 2013)

I'm sorta curious about my namesake.


it appears  he does nothing of note while hanging around in a confined dark environment

all he needs  now is a collection of pillows.


----------



## Bob_the_lost (Jul 1, 2013)

Crispy said:


> Well, you're well over the loss of your wife el_ahrairah five years ago. However, you grieve for your third eldest son, Stanley Edwards, who died of thirst in a hospital bed just this year. Your other children live on, but back home in Sackwalls.
> 
> Your older sister Yu_Gi_Oh still lives, as does Choc, your grandmother. You have some famous relatives. Maurice Picarda, #2 doctor of Bouldergloves is your nephew. xes, recently departed Axe Lord was your cousin. In fact, there are at least ten of your cousins here.
> 
> You are a High Master furnace operator, with not long to go before your reach Legendary status. You are ecstatic, without a bad thought in your dwarven head.


Always doomed to be a back room techie type. Alas poor little Stan, rehab's a bitch.


----------



## fuck seals (Jul 1, 2013)

Hmmm Crisps, I think the 'sucession' part of the game needs factoring in ...


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jul 1, 2013)

actually the ones mans descent into insanity is much better

it's don crispote  and we are his san patchos


----------



## fuck seals (Jul 1, 2013)

No no I disagree, the one-dwarf fuedal system is not acceptable, and is pretty beardless in many ways.

We need the descent of many into madness, conflicting strategies, and mostly, this organised, well-baehaved and well-clothed equilibrum is most undwarvely.  I suspect crisps is an elf.

Google 'boatmurdered'


----------



## fuck seals (Jul 1, 2013)

I like 'Don Crispote' tho'.


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jul 1, 2013)

dwarffortress mmo?


----------



## Shippou-Sensei (Jul 1, 2013)

fuck seals said:


> I like 'Don Crispote' tho'.


 

he dreams the impossible dream


----------



## Crispy (Jul 2, 2013)

I'm very nearly done with my grand plan, then I'll let fractionMan have a go and you'll get the chaos you're after


----------



## fractionMan (Jul 2, 2013)




----------



## fractionMan (Jul 2, 2013)

I am still trying to build walls up a hill without trapping dwarves.


----------



## Crispy (Jul 2, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> *cough* Railway *cough*


 
I should never have listened to you. This is a *PAIN IN THE ARSE* and it's not even any fun to write about. Should be well worth it though


----------



## Crispy (Jul 2, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> I'm sorta curious about my namesake.
> 
> 
> it appears he does nothing of note while hanging around in a confined dark environment
> ...


 
Well, you're a Legendary+5 miner, which is as skilled as its possible to be. You dig tunnels like a motherfucker. You have lots of friends, but being a founding dwarf, you don't have a single relative (this is a bug).


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jul 2, 2013)

Crispy said:


> I should never have listened to you. This is a *PAIN IN THE ARSE* and it's not even any fun to write about. Should be well worth it though


 
I did have a read of a wiki on how to create them, it made my brain melt


----------



## Crispy (Jul 2, 2013)

This is the History of Autumn

*10th Limestone, 133*







twentythreedom is good carpenter. I order it brought to my chambers for installation. Queen Udil can keep her gold bed.

*26th Limestone, 133*

Tributer is structurally complete. If calculations are correct, one push is required to begin continuous operation. beesonthewhatnow volunteers for the job.






The cart turns one hunderd eighty degrees.






Falls down the feed chute.






Hits the collection channel.






Rises up the impulse ramp.






....and stops dead at the top.






I order more impulse ramps constructed at top level to send cart round delivery loop and wait for cart to be returned to start.






The season marches on. I promised to begin raising tribute before the year was out. Do not slack, dwarves!

*23rd Sandstone, 133*

Stuff_it takes turn at pushing. Cart makes journey down and back up. 






This time, it sprints round delivery loop and heads for feed chute. The process repeats. The tributer is running. Now to load the tribute.






*8th Timber, 133*






Udil takes her first adult victim. We can spare the loss. It is my hope that with sufficient placation by the application of tribute, Udil's threat can be eliminated.

*11th Timber, 133*

The trade caravan has arrived. Now we are mountainhome and they are subjects. No liaison comes, for we know ourselves the wishes of our ruler.

At forge level, work progress on cart loading system. But work is interrupted by blind cave ogre. It got past traps with lower body wounds, but now stumbles around corridors.






It scares Me76 as he carves cart tracks into granite slope. Although the troll can not see, it can hear and feel. It soon strikes the unarmed dwarf down. I order every soldier to attack. Luck will choose the combatant.






Luck has nothing to do with it. Courage and bloodlust drive dotcommunist, champion of Bouldergloves into battle. He chops all troll limbs off before removing head.






Me76 is dead. Atir the cat waill find a new owner.

*16th Timber, 133*

As trade caravan pulls into Bouldergloves, a small squad of goblins springs ambush. Caravan gu ard is ready for fight, but I order our troops in to show country dwarves how we do things here in the big city.






Goblins harass merchant, but he scambles away. Goblins stab draft yak instead. Caravan guardsdwarf puts up spirited fight, allowing wagon to enter Bouldergloves unharmed, but it is pursued.






Soldiers of Bouldergloves arrive and quickly eradicate small threat. No casualties are taken, save for brave caravan guardsdwarf.

*18th Timber, 133*

A second ambush is sprung, as five goblin crossbows are spotted on blood hill. None are elite, so I order The Wires to fire from battlements.






It is premature tactic, as goblins head straight for entrance. Melee dwarves intercept and destroy.


----------



## Crispy (Jul 2, 2013)

This is the History of Bouldergloves

*11th Malachite, 134*

It is done. My great work. My hands have stopped shaking and I can finally put pen to paper. Nearly a year has passed since my last diary. All that time and effort has led up to this day. I will recall it as best I can. May future generations of Bouldergloves read these words and know truthful events.

In the winter of last year, I realised that loading and dispatch of tribute would require power. I diverted overflow from upper caverns to lower caverns and tap flow to drive turbine.






rich! did brave mining to release flow






Which soon reached turbine hall.






This powered the pump, which allowed minecart to be filled, and rollers to guide it into the impulse ramp.

There were a number of artifacts produced that season, among them a fine barrel.






In Spring, further testing of Tributer with loaded carts resulted in derailment and carts falling onto Blood Plain.






With addition of guide walls at top of impulse ramp spiral, loaded carts could finally make their way to roof of Royal Palace.






It was spring of 134 when first successful load was deposited. But the following months saw further tinkering and calibration of the system. Maintaining adequate flow for turbine proved exasperating, as alternately too little and then too much water passed through. Minecart loading system was required to send multiple carts through to enable delivery of sufficient tribute in reasonable time.






It has been a long year. But today all the time, effort, materials and dwarven lives that have been poured into this project have been repaid a thousandfold. We had raised sufficient tribute to the roof of the Vampire Queen Udil's Royal Palace.






I received word that all was ready. I went to my bedroom. I gripped lever with both my hands and looked to ceiling. Six tiles above and eighty to the West, Queen Udil stood by her golden throne, secure and proud in opulent throne room.






I looked back down at my hands. Sweat made lever handle slippery. I gripped tight.












The lever slid into place. Through walls I could hear rattle of gears as my intent was delivered. On the roof of the Royal Palace, a small bridge made of chert retracted. And magma from the depths of the earth, raised fifty three levels by the machines of Bouldergloves, ran down the chute prepared for it and onto the head of the Queen.






Clouds of smoke filled the throne room. The golden throne melted.






When the smoke cleared, there was no sign of Udil. She has been vaporised.






*11th Malachite, 134*

11th Malachite, 134. The day when the citizens of the Bells of Thinning can at last walk out into their halls without fear. The shadow has been lifted. A new age has come. The Queen is dead. LONG LIVE THE DUKE.


----------



## Stigmata (Jul 2, 2013)

You won the game of thrones


----------



## Crispy (Jul 2, 2013)

I am done with dwarf fucking fortress for now and all.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jul 2, 2013)

You utterly magnificent bastard


----------



## tommers (Jul 2, 2013)




----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jul 2, 2013)

I think that is nothing less than the most epic thing I've read in 12 years of posting here.


----------



## 8ball (Jul 2, 2013)

I can barely make any sense of it whatsoever.


----------



## tommers (Jul 2, 2013)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> I think that is nothing less than the most epic thing I've read in 12 years of posting here.


 

Yes.  This.  It's given me all the joy of Dwarf Fortress without having to devote the endless hours necessary to play the fucking thing.  You should stick it up on the bay12 forums.


----------



## Crispy (Jul 3, 2013)

Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience 
I'm going to put a PDF version of the diary entries together, so it can be read through as one.

There's still a little bit of tidying up to do. frogwoman's ghost needs putting to rest (even though her body is interred already) cos she's giving bad thoughts to dwarves cleaning up bodies at the South gate. The minecart filling/propulsion system power supply in the basement is leaking and threatening to flood the forges. But otherwise, Bouldergloves is a stable, happy fortress. Does anybody want a go on it?


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Jul 3, 2013)

You keep going, I want to see where the Duke goes from here


----------



## fractionMan (Jul 3, 2013)

I don't think I could step into your shoes.  That was magnificent, truly magnificent


----------



## Crispy (Jul 3, 2013)

As fun as it's been, I really have had enough dwarf fortress for now 
If nobody takes up the mantle, I'll come back to it, but not for a while.


----------



## DotCommunist (Jul 3, 2013)

I salute you


----------



## fractionMan (Jul 3, 2013)

How you managed to fit that lot in without sparrow pecking your eyes out is a wonder.  I've enough problems trying to fit in my own small game.  There's always more to do!


----------



## Crispy (Jul 3, 2013)

if you have a reddit account, upvotes and comments would be welcome: http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/1hkdk8/the_histories_of_bouldergloves_my_8_year_long/


----------



## fractionMan (Nov 7, 2014)

http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortre...e_beat_a_kobold_to_death_with_his_own_tongue/


----------



## fractionMan (Nov 7, 2014)

Best bug fixes ever

Major bug fixes 

Stopped nerve check from bypassing broken parts between thought center and body roots
Stopped part from being pulped if inner nervous tissue is not detached
Made pulped parts bleed properly


----------



## tommers (Dec 10, 2022)

Still good, 9 years later.


----------



## beesonthewhatnow (Dec 10, 2022)

beesonthewhatnow said:


> I think that is nothing less than the most epic thing I've read in 12 years of posting here.





beesonthewhatnow said:


> You utterly magnificent bastard


I still stand by these, nearly 10 years on


----------

