# Films that the muppets should do



## Pingu (Feb 11, 2012)

tbh i dont think there is a single film that would not benefit from being "covered" by the muppets.

OK maybe some wanky "arty" bollocks but otherwise.

I would love to see a muppet version of star wars - I am thinking pigs in space here but with lightsabres.


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## Belushi (Feb 11, 2012)

the Bicycle Thieves.


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## Voley (Feb 11, 2012)

Requiem For A Dream
The Accused
Last Tango In Paris
Trainspotting


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## Dandred (Feb 11, 2012)

Pulp Fiction


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## DotCommunist (Feb 11, 2012)

The Muppets Centipede


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## Pingu (Feb 11, 2012)

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

http://www.starwars.com/news/star_wars_muppet_figures.html

*does little happy dance*

sorry mr credit card but needs must


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## Voley (Feb 11, 2012)

Videodrome
Driller Killer
Bad Lieutenant
Caligula


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## Reno (Feb 11, 2012)

A Very Muppet Salo: Waldorf and Stadler as the fascist libertines, Miss Piggy as the ageing prostitute telling tales of her trade and the muppet babies eating shit.


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## clicker (Feb 11, 2012)

'If'....with miss piggy giving both barrels off the roof.

'Quadrophenia'....with Kermy riding into scooter oblivion.


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## Pingu (Feb 11, 2012)

with gonzo as "the face"


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## N_igma (Feb 11, 2012)

Miss Piggy does Dallas.


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## fishfinger (Feb 11, 2012)

St. Elmo's Fire


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## Boycey (Feb 11, 2012)

irreversible


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## Santino (Feb 11, 2012)

The Wicker Muppet


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## Santino (Feb 11, 2012)

But, in all seriousness, The Three Muppeteers.


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## Lionman (Feb 11, 2012)

Santino said:


> The Wicker Muppet


 
Ask & ye shall receive.


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## dessiato (Feb 11, 2012)

9 Songs


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## Pingu (Feb 11, 2012)

oh hell yes.

with the singing, the dancing the buckling of swash. A merry tale of derring do with the dashing young D'arkermington and Fozzy as planchet.


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## Santino (Feb 11, 2012)

Pingu said:


> oh hell yes.
> 
> with the singing, the dancing the buckling of swash. A merry tale of derring do with the dashing young D'arkermington and Fozzy as planchet.


D'Artagnan would be human, and Kermit, Fozzy and Gonzo would be Athos, Porthos and Aramis. Miss Piggy as Milady, obv.


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## Pingu (Feb 11, 2012)

Constance surely would be the role taken by Mademoiselle Cochon?


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## Santino (Feb 11, 2012)

Milady is one of literature's finest female characters, much more suited to the greatest porcine actress of our times than that drip Constance. She is also Athos' ex.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 11, 2012)

Matt Smith would make a good D'Artagnan in a muppets film


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## London_Calling (Feb 11, 2012)

The Sopranos may work.


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## Citizen66 (Feb 11, 2012)

Frog of Toad Hall.


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## Greebo (Feb 11, 2012)

Driving Miss Piggy


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## Santino (Feb 11, 2012)

Kermit Holmes and the Hound of the Baskerpigges.


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## Voley (Feb 11, 2012)

I never need much of an excuse to post this:


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## Santino (Feb 11, 2012)

The Muppificent Seven


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## Greebo (Feb 11, 2012)

Any Muppet Way You Can


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## oneunder (Feb 11, 2012)

natural born killers was made for kermit and miss piggy.


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## Citizen66 (Feb 11, 2012)

Animal's Farm.


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## Chester Copperpot (Feb 11, 2012)

Seven


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## pesh (Feb 11, 2012)

Scarface


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## xes (Feb 11, 2012)

Braindead


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## Reno (Feb 11, 2012)

Don't be so fucking lazy, at least cast your muppet versions with the right muppets or change the title to humorous effect. Just mentioning inappropriate films is not cutting it anymore.


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## xes (Feb 11, 2012)

Reno said:


> Don't be so fucking lazy, at least cast your muppet versions with the right muppets or change the title to humorous effect. Just mentioning inappropriate films is not cutting it anymore.


fuck that shit, I'm hungover, stoned and want a plopsie.


But i will say, that i kind of fancy Rowlf the dog as the dude who goes nutso with the lawnmower. (Lionel)


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## Voley (Feb 11, 2012)

Scum: Animal to play Ray Winstone. Screws to be played by The Great Gonzo's chickens. Animal to fight The Swedish Chef in the 'where's your tool?' scene.
Beaker would be good playing the lead in The Exorcist I reckon. Kermit as the priest. Dr Bunsen Burner as the archaeologist at the beginning.


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## danny la rouge (Feb 12, 2012)

*Straw Frogs*

- Piggy and Kermit move to a Cornish village.


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## danny la rouge (Feb 12, 2012)

*Piggery *

_- Kermit used to write for a living. Now He's writing to stay alive!_

Kermit crashes in a blizzard, but he's rescued by the wrong Pig.

(Released in the US as "Ms Piggery").

*Piggie*

_- If only they knew she had the power._

Piggy has her first period, and class hunk, Kermit, takes her to the prom...


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## Mumbles274 (Feb 12, 2012)

Muppet Gump

Nightmare on Seasame Street

Saving Muppet Ryan


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## albionism (Feb 12, 2012)

Nil By Mouth
Mr Snuffleupagus as Ray
Big Bird as Val
Kermit as Billy
Oscar as Danny


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## danny la rouge (Feb 12, 2012)

*Last Piglet to Brooklyn*

- _It'll be better tomorrow_.

Kermit is compelling as Harry, the strike leader who finds he's gay.  Miss Piggy gives her most harrowing portrait to date as Tralala, a prostitute gang-raped by all the Muppets.  Many critics find the song from the scene to be in poor taste.


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## Augie March (Feb 12, 2012)




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## Pseudopsycho (Feb 12, 2012)

You need a good ensemble movie to get the whole gang in, so hows about Happiness?


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## stavros (Feb 12, 2012)

Child's Play: Chucky vs Gonzo


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## danny la rouge (Feb 12, 2012)

Gonzo clearly has to star in a remake of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.


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## dylanredefined (Feb 14, 2012)

Remake street fighter with muppets.
Kermit doing the "I'm not going home speech"​


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## AverageJoe (Feb 14, 2012)

Die Hard


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## AverageJoe (Feb 14, 2012)

Driving Miss Piggy


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## stuff_it (Feb 14, 2012)

Pingu said:


> tbh i dont think there is a single film that would not benefit from being "covered" by the muppets.
> 
> OK maybe some wanky "arty" bollocks but otherwise.
> 
> I would love to see a muppet version of star wars - I am thinking pigs in space here but with lightsabres.


Really, the 'Muppets 7th Seal' would be something to behold.


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## Greebo (Feb 14, 2012)

AverageJoe said:


> Driving Miss Piggy


I said that on the first page.


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## IC3D (Feb 14, 2012)

Reservoir Frogs


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## starfish (Feb 14, 2012)

Casablanca. Kermit as Rick, Piggy as Ilsa, the Swedish Chef as Victor, Gonzo as Peter Lorre, Fozzy as the Cop & Rowlf as Sam. And Sweetums could be Sysdney Greenstreet.


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## AverageJoe (Feb 14, 2012)

Greebo said:


> I said that on the first page.


 
Oh. Sorry.


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## starfish (Feb 14, 2012)

I also think Kermit would make a good Captain Jean-Luc Picard.


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## Greebo (Feb 14, 2012)

AverageJoe said:


> Oh. Sorry.


<shrug> hey, great minds and all that.


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## AverageJoe (Feb 14, 2012)

Animal Farm


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## stuff_it (Feb 14, 2012)

A Serbian Muppet Film.


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## fogbat (Feb 14, 2012)

Miss Piggy would do far better than Sharon Stone did in Basic Instinct.


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## Reno (Feb 14, 2012)

fogbat said:


> Miss Piggy would do far better than Sharon Stone did in Basic Instinct.


 
You'd probably glimpse a hand sticking up her lower regions when she crosses her legs.


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## AverageJoe (Feb 15, 2012)

Reno said:


> You'd probably glimpse a hand sticking up her lower regions when she crosses her legs.


 
You say that like its a bad thing


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## Lord Camomile (Feb 15, 2012)

Pingu said:


> ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
> 
> http://www.starwars.com/news/star_wars_muppet_figures.html
> 
> ...


Oh boy...


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2012)

How can Gonzo be Kermit's and Piggy's dad? It doesn't make sense on any level.


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## Reno (Feb 15, 2012)

AverageJoe said:


> You say that like its a bad thing


 
It was a neutral observation. That said, much as I admire her, but Miss Piggy isn't really my type and I'm not into fisting.


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Reno said:


> It was a neutral observation. That said, much as I admire her, but Miss Piggy isn't really my type and I'm not into fisting.


They've got more than one kind of muppet for each character (hand-controlled from below for most of the time, strung like marionettes for scenes when you need to see the legs and feet) - which was how they got Kermit to tapdance.


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## Lord Camomile (Feb 15, 2012)

/innocence


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Lord Camomile said:


> /innocence


*Faints at the shock of LC having any innocence left to lose.*


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## stuff_it (Feb 15, 2012)

Miss Piggy Does Dallas

/thread


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## Lord Camomile (Feb 15, 2012)

Greebo said:


> *Faints at the shock of LC having any innocence left to lose.*





stuff_it said:


> Miss Piggy Does Dallas
> 
> /thread


Not any more


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## spanglechick (Feb 15, 2012)

Muppets' LA Confidential






Kim Basinger / Lynn Braken: Miss Piggy
Russell Crowe / Bud White:  Fozzy Bear
Mike from Neighbours / Edmund Exley: Kermit
The farmer from Babe:  Sam the Eagle
Kevin Spacey / Jack Vincennes: Dr Teeth
Danny de Vito / Sid Hudgens: Gonzo


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## Yossarian (Feb 15, 2012)

Might work better with Gonzo for Joe Pesci - and Beaker as Spider...


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## Reno (Feb 15, 2012)

Greebo said:


> They've got more than one kind of muppet for each character (hand-controlled from below for most of the time, strung like marionettes for scenes when you need to see the legs and feet) - which was how they got Kermit to tapdance.


 
You mean Miss Piggy isn't real ?


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Reno said:


> You mean Miss Piggy isn't real ?


She's as real as any character played by an actor or actress ever is.


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## Yuwipi Woman (Feb 15, 2012)

Pingu said:


> OK maybe some wanky "arty" bollocks but otherwise.


"Arty" films would be ace with the Muppets.  Can you imagine Kermit as the star of Les Mis?


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> "Arty" films would be ace with the Muppets. Can you imagine Kermit as the star of Les Mis?


Or Miss Piggy's take on some of Marlene Dietrich's roles, come to think of it.


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## Santino (Feb 15, 2012)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> "Arty" films would be ace with the Muppets. Can you imagine Kermit as the star of Les Mis?


I wouldn't describe Les Mis as 'arty'.


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## Reno (Feb 15, 2012)

Sorry to get my snob on, but neither Les Mis nor Marlene Dietrich films are very arty. Try some Muppet Bela Tarr instead.


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## Pingu (Feb 15, 2012)

Lord Camomile said:


> Oh boy...


 I know

i am being good though. i will wait until the end of the month when i get my bonus, mrs P may not be too amused by the purchase so i can then justify it as "my present to myself" from my bonus


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## Yuwipi Woman (Feb 15, 2012)

Reno said:


> You mean Miss Piggy isn't real ?


 
Louis Vuitton doesn't design dresses for girls who arn't _real_. 

http://wearemoviegeeks.com/2012/02/bafta-red-carpet-host-miss-piggy-to-wear-louis-vuitton/


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> Louis Vuitton doesn't design dresses for girls who arn't _real_.
> 
> http://wearemoviegeeks.com/2012/02/bafta-red-carpet-host-miss-piggy-to-wear-louis-vuitton/


Not convinced - Jean Paul Gaultier began with designing clothes for his teddy.


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## Citizen66 (Feb 15, 2012)

AverageJoe said:


> Animal Farm



I said that earlier too.


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## Yuwipi Woman (Feb 15, 2012)

Greebo said:


> Not convinced - Jean Paul Gaultier began with designing clothes for his teddy.


 
How do you know any star is "real?" 

How much is allowed to be silicone and how much flesh before you consider them "real."  I'll admit that Miss Piggy probably contains a lot of silicone, but it can't be more than Joan Rivers, or some of the others.


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> How do you know any star is "real?"
> 
> How much is allowed to be silicone and how much flesh before you consider them "real." I'll admit that Miss Piggy probably contains a lot of silicone, but it can't be more than Joan Rivers, or some of the others.


IMHO any given entertainer or character is as real as they can persuade their audience that they are.


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## Yuwipi Woman (Feb 15, 2012)

Greebo said:


> IMHO any given entertainer or character is as real as they can persuade their audience that they are.


 
That's a rather subjective standard, don't you think?

On the other hand, Miss Piggy fares better by it than some of the other actresses.


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> That's a rather subjective standard, don't you think?
> 
> On the other hand, Miss Piggy fares better by it than some of the other actresses.


My point exactly


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## Nanker Phelge (Feb 15, 2012)

The Frog, The Thief, His Wife and her Drummer.


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## MellySingsDoom (Feb 15, 2012)

Muppet remakes of 70's Italian films would be most welcome at Melly Towers. Could we have a remake of this fine little number, please?


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Kill Bill - I can just see Miss Piggy in a swordfight with the tall blonde muppet singer


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## AverageJoe (Feb 15, 2012)

Citizen66 said:


> I said that earlier too.


 
I know. I wasnt paying attention last night. Sorry dude


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## Yuwipi Woman (Feb 15, 2012)

Greebo said:


> Kill Bill - I can just see Miss Piggy in a swordfight with the tall blonde muppet singer


 


With Ninja chickens for the Crazy 88s.


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## Greebo (Feb 15, 2012)

Yuwipi Woman said:


> <snip>With Ninja chickens for the Crazy 88s.


Oh yes


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## Nanker Phelge (Feb 16, 2012)

One Flew Over the Muppet's Nest

Don't Look Now


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## Reno (Feb 16, 2012)

I actually remember seeing Frogs at the cinema.


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## sim667 (Feb 16, 2012)

Das experiment, or Downfall


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## Greebo (Feb 16, 2012)

Krabat.  

One of the hecklers could be the mill owner, Gonzo could be Krabat, Miss Piggy as the Cantorca, and instead of shape shifting into ravens, the millowner and his apprentices could turn into white chickens.


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## Spanky Longhorn (Feb 17, 2012)

The Sealed Train

Patrick Stewart as Lenin
Miss Piggy as Mrs Lenin
Gonzo is Radek
Kermit is Trotsky, and Rowlf is Zinoviev.
The Chickens are striking workers in that rail town they stop off in on the way.


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## 8115 (Feb 18, 2012)

Muppetspotting.


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## danny la rouge (Mar 15, 2012)

Muppet Recall.   It'd be less boring with songs.


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## Orang Utan (Mar 15, 2012)

after seeing miss piggy in houndstooth in the latest muppet movie, i can see her as carmela soprano. bobo as tony soprano. sam the eagle as chri. kermit as uncle junior. janice as adriana. gonzo as tony blundetto. fozzie or sweetums as bobby. animal as christopher. the count as silvio.


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## miniGMgoit (Mar 16, 2012)

I'd love to see the Muppets do some John Waters films.


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## 1927 (Mar 16, 2012)

Taxi Driver.

Kermit as De Niro

Miss Piggy as Cybel Shepherd.


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## Pseudopsycho (Mar 17, 2012)

miniGMgoit said:


> I'd love to see the Muppets do some John Waters films.


"Don't become an asshole, Puppet"


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## Greebo (Mar 17, 2012)

Kinky Boots


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## Pseudopsycho (Mar 17, 2012)

Shortbus


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## goldenecitrone (Mar 17, 2012)

Bad boy beaker.


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