# getting a Wii to re-engage with teenager



## Elvis Parsley (Mar 27, 2009)

<edit: personal stuff removed>

so, what do we need? controllers/games/bundles/softmod etc?

any help appreciated

alternatively, will swap 1 moody teen for an original working Atari 2600 with joystick and paddle. thanks noel (yer big beardy twat)


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## boskysquelch (Mar 27, 2009)

can't you get them obsessed in something more productive...like skateboarding?


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## stupid kid (Mar 27, 2009)

Personally I think you should've taken up tagging and smoking. Actually, I doubt even a wii will help you re-engage. He prolly just wants to be with his mates and do teenage stuff. You can't stop it, it's not your fault either, that's just how teenagers are. 

Instead of getting him a wii to make him want to be with you, flip it around, get yourself a wii, and let him play it every so often.

So, you'll want at least as many controllers as people (in this case 3?), and the best multiplayer games, which I reckon to be Wario Ware, Smash Brothers, Mario Kart and Wii Sports (which will most likely come with the console), maybe Pro Evo or Fifa. Mario Galaxy and Zelda Twilight Princess (necessary to perform the softmod) are well worth the dosh as well, although they're single player.


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## ymu (Mar 27, 2009)

If he's into console games already, he may well sneer at the Wii (even if he secretly falls in love with it). Do not present it to him as something you thought he'd like doing with you. This is just inviting a teenage boy gamer to tell you how shit the Wii is compared to a "real" console and how desperately uncool you are for having one. If you just get on with enjoying it, he might take an interest. My teenaged brother used to sneer at games over Christmas, but he'd always join in the fun once everyone else was ignoring him and refusing to be "cool".

But really, he's a teenager. It's what they do. Their brains change so that they're less empathetic and less able to read facial expressions than a younger child. It's a confusing and difficult time. Make sure he knows you're there if he needs you and let him get on with it.

And don't buy him expensive stuff. The build-a-PC idea was great, but he shouldn't get the PC without the project that goes with it. You're just teaching him that life is easy and he doesn't have to work for what he has or even say thanks when it's given to him. He's working out how to be an adult - treat him like one.


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## Addy (Mar 27, 2009)

Outdoor activities will bring you closer together than a bit of console gaming.
Take him go-karting or moto-Xing.
Quad biking.
Clay pidgeon shooting.
Paintballing.
White water rafting.
Go Ape is great for bonding.
A trip to a motorsport event.

You need to make time spent together exciting and fun so he'll want to engage with you more and consider you a 'cool' person to hang out with.


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 27, 2009)

<edit: personal stuff removed>

i should have made it clear before, he's not getting a Wii, he's not getting much of anything these days unfortunately and he's certainly not getting a new PC. which is a shame, because it think it would have been a nice way to spend some time with him and would have taught him a few things he might have benefited from. oh well, maybe next year.


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## oicur0t (Mar 27, 2009)

ymu said:


> If he's into console games already, he may well sneer at the Wii (even if he secretly falls in love with it). Do not present it to him as something you thought he'd like doing with you. This is just inviting a teenage boy gamer to tell you how shit the Wii is compared to a "real" console and how desperately uncool you are for having one. If you just get on with enjoying it, he might take an interest.



I agree. You have fun, let him come to you. An obvious 'gesture' towards him may be rejected. Do things and give him the opportunity to join in. Even if he doesn't show an interest, he may realise later on that he lost out, especially if you enjoyed it.

I think a wii is a good idea.  People who don't like games, people who don't like consoles just can't help getting involved.


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## cybershot (Mar 27, 2009)

He'll probably say the wii is crap anyway, because it's not as powerful as a PS3 or Xbox360. Remember Teens are quite snobbish about this sort of stuff in order to 'look cool' despite what the facts may or may not be, even doing outdoor activites may be tough because parents are never deemed cool between the ages of 13-16.

I would personally choose camping, along with maybe something addy said above, things that actually however involve team work rather than trying to beat each other at something that would result in him going off in a huff when he loses.


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## boskysquelch (Mar 27, 2009)

Addy said:


> You need to make time spent together exciting and fun so he'll want to engage with you more and consider you a 'cool' person to hang out with.


I'm at a bit of an advantage here...as the good book says... Elvis is so kewl you get frost-bite if you stand too close. 

http://www.woodcraft.org.uk/ or 










you really think this Thread'll _convince_ Erin Dors toiiiiii letiiiiii youiiiiii getiiiiii aiiiiiiiiii Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii?


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 27, 2009)

Addy said:


> You need to make time spent together exciting and fun so he'll want to engage with you more and consider you a 'cool' person to hang out with.



you're missing the point. he doesn't want to spend time with us. at all. i've suggested different activities, including clay pidgeon, i've had tickets booked for stuff he's expressed an interest in, only to have him bail out at the last minute.

the idea of the Wii was that we could get one for the family and that he might want to join in with us at some point. if so, then that would hopefully provide and arena for some bonding that would hopefully lead to something more constructive


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 27, 2009)

funnily enough i'm the least interested in a Wii, said teen thinks we're weird odd for not having one "coz it can help you get fit an' stuff"  and mrs elvis quite fancies the idea

i'd rather we all go out and do something more fun, but that's the problem, he doesn't want to.


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## Addy (Mar 27, 2009)

I'll shut up then.


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## oicur0t (Mar 27, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> the idea of the Wii was that we could get one for the family and that he might want to join in with us at some point. if so, then that would hopefully provide and arena for some bonding that would hopefully lead to something more constructive



best way. it's there in the house, you're having a good time, he can't ignore it! 

I've always wanted to play PES on the Wii, the control system intrigues me.


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## boskysquelch (Mar 27, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> he doesn't want to spend time with us. at all.



 I was this child.  I did alright.


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## mrsfran (Mar 27, 2009)

I think it's a good idea. Our neighbour has a 15 year old son and he plays on the Wii with his parents quite a lot.

Then again, he also plays Connect 4 with his mum, so perhaps he's not a typical teenager.


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## bmd (Mar 27, 2009)

You're not a gamer then? Your partner is and the lad might be. What games would your partner like to play? If you're shit at gaming then something like Mario Kart might just put you off. 

I play in a Wii pub league and the most popular game is bowling, anyone can pick it up and play it and it does actually involve some skill once you get into it. So if you're wanting to get something to play straight off just get a Wii and bowling comes with it. You could get away with two controllers to start with but if you like old school games then get a classic controller as well.

After that just softmod it and you can download the Virtual Console games as well as the standard ones to try out before you er, buy them.


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 27, 2009)

i'm not a console gamer no, but recently finished fallout 3 and cod mw on my pc. the whole wii thing has pretty much passed me by though

addy, not having a pop, but i was asking for wii advice, not nurturing skills. ta love


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## Addy (Mar 27, 2009)

Do try to be less patronising then, that might be part of the problem


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## ymu (Mar 27, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> addy, not having a pop, but i was asking for wii advice, not nurturing skills. ta love


I'll add my apologies to addy's, but your OP could have been a tad clearer in this point. Title, three long paras and a parting shot about the teen, couple of short Qs about the Wii. 

As said, it's not the coolest console out there but if he already thinks you should have one, that may not be an issue.

I'm guessing you need games that you and your wife will genuinely have fun with and that might hook him in? Lots of good recommendations on this thread for that. If he's more likely to get involved because you plainly don't know what you're doing, get some more traditional console games like first person shooters, football, driving games. If he's more likely to get involved because it's fun, get stuff like Wii Sports, Mario Galaxy, Mario Kart, Zak & Wiki.

I disagree with BMD about Mario Kart - I'm not a traditional gamer but it got me hooked. It's easy enough to play without getting frustrated early on when you're crap, and challenging enough that it stays interesting when you get better. And it's hard to ignore the mayhem on screen - it's very fast and fun.


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 27, 2009)

Addy said:


> Do try to be less patronising then, that might be part of the problem



yeah cheers addy, very er....you


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## bmd (Mar 27, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> i'm not a console gamer no, but recently finished fallout 3 and cod mw on my pc. the whole wii thing has pretty much passed me by though
> 
> addy, not having a pop, but i was asking for wii advice, not nurturing skills. ta love



Fair enough, you won't have a problem then.

Stupid Kid just about covered it in his post so awaaaay ye go, and good luck with engaging the lad.


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## sojourner (Mar 27, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> he doesn't want to spend time with us. at all. i've suggested different activities, including clay pidgeon, i've had tickets booked for stuff he's expressed an interest in, only to have him bail out at the last minute.



You could just take the massively heavy hint he's giving you, and give him some space?  He doesn't need to be engaged with you at all - he's growing into his own space.


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 27, 2009)

you know sojourner, you're absolutely right, it seems so obvious now you've pointed it out. thanks buddy

oooooor, maybe you're just a self-opinionated twat. hmmmmmmm <thinks>


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## bmd (Mar 28, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> you know sojourner, you're absolutely right, it seems so obvious now you've pointed it out. thanks buddy
> 
> oooooor, maybe you're just a self-opinionated twat. hmmmmmmm <thinks>



Or maybe she's just expressing her opinion and there's no need to be so rude? 

That was a rhetorical question btw.


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## sojourner (Mar 28, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> you know sojourner, you're absolutely right, it seems so obvious now you've pointed it out. thanks buddy
> 
> oooooor, maybe you're just a self-opinionated twat. hmmmmmmm <thinks>



how about you try it?


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 28, 2009)

this place makes me laugh sometimes

just so we're clear, i never asked for parenting advice, but thanks any. my fault really, i shouldn't have bothered with all the personal background stuff. it's got fuck all to do with you lot anyway, not that that stops the urban massive. oh well

anyway, thanks for the Wii advice, we'll be looking into it later today


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## ymu (Mar 28, 2009)

Yeah, just fuck off, eh?


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## Voley (Mar 28, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> this place makes me laugh sometimes



Me too. It's a real hoot when someone posts a poorly worded OP then turns on everyone for not understanding it.


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## baldrick (Mar 28, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> this place makes me laugh sometimes
> 
> just so we're clear, i never asked for parenting advice



there's no need to get so defensive and angry with the people who did though.  

it was pretty easy to mistake the unedited op for someone who might have appreciated a bit of advice.

still, you obviously know best as you're clearly doing a fantastic job.


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 28, 2009)

baldrick said:


> still, you obviously know best as you're clearly doing a fantastic job.



nice


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## baldrick (Mar 28, 2009)

yeah, apologies for that last remark, it wasn't very nice.


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## Addy (Mar 29, 2009)

I'm so glad I walked away from this thread and had a weekend in the sun.

My happy son!







Let hope I have more luck than others as he grows up


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## ymu (Mar 29, 2009)

baldrick said:


> yeah, apologies for that last remark, it wasn't very nice.



Very gracious and mature. 

I was just checking back to see if Elvis had it in him to respond in kind. Apparently not.

I was going to say something about role-models, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was.


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 29, 2009)

no we did via pm instead, but well done carrying on with the point scoring and shit stirring. you and addy have proved yourselves to be so much better than me

congrats


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## boskysquelch (Mar 29, 2009)

*a txt convo wiv ma 16 yr ol...this avvo...*

Me: blahblahblahblahblah<insert interesting things, enquiries about Life, exams, health, Fatherly stuff etc>

Them :UhuhuHuhuhuHUHuhuhuhuhhuh. X

Me :Uwntshrtatxts? x

Them: Nein nein! X

Me: babelfish x

Them: lol laters bye X


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## Addy (Mar 29, 2009)

*Lets create world peace, play consoles games!*



Elvis Parsley said:


> no we did via pm instead, but well done carrying on with the point scoring and shit stirring. you and addy have proved yourselves to be so much better than me
> 
> congrats


 
I re-visited this thread to see if there had been any progress after a weekend away from the rat race, all I saw was you posting more crap and offending people who made posts to genuinely offer some advice.
If you need to buy a Wii *for yourself *just go out and buy one, instead of using your kid as a tool to justify the purchase.
As for shit stirring/point scorring.... wind your fucking neck in dude, you aint that important.
Your doing a great job of promoting yourself as a complete prick, well done!


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## subversplat (Mar 29, 2009)

This is the best console advice thread ever!

Now, should I buy a DS to keep myself amused while the girlfriend performs fellatio?


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## Addy (Mar 29, 2009)

subversplat said:


> This is the best console advise thread ever!
> 
> Now, should I buy a DS to keep myself amused while the girlfriend performs fellatio?


 
Sure, if you like pain


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## Elvis Parsley (Mar 30, 2009)

*for addy...*

you re-visited this thread to see if there had been any progress? - no you didn't, you came back to a thread by a parent who'd already stated they were having a difficult time with their son, to say what a wonderful you were having with your's. you can't see how that might be interpreted as being a shitty thing to do? to suggest you were doing otherwise is rather disingenuous. (yeah i know that word has been overused somewhat on here, but there is no other that fits as well)

i'm glad things are going well for you and your son, but maybe your post might be considered as just a little insensitive by those not having such a good time, on a thread specifically about that. would you do the same on other threads, say about someone having their car nicked? addy:"he-hay i'm just popping in to say how lovely my motor is looking these days, fresh coat of polish blah blah". or someone who's dog has just died? addy: " just popping into say we've been for a lovely walk with our rover..". see what i'm getting at? probably not

and what's with the bullshit accusation about me using my son to justify buying a Wii? i've neither said nor hinted at any such thing,in fact quite the opposite,  but don't let that stop you from making shit up to justify _your_ position. christ, you can be a nasty little shit

and just to complete the circle; you were the first poster i had a run in with on these boards, 6 or 7 years ago, although we both had different names i think. i objected to a warez link you put up that led to a page covered in hardcore porn adds, at the time i was browsing with my son. when i said you should have put up a warning with the link all you could do was give a great big "fuck you, you should have known better, it said warez after all. if you don't know what that might lead to then tough shit." a more magnanimous person might have at least apologised for exposing a little boy to hardcore porn, but not you. so i care very little that you think i'm a prick.

so how about i wind my neck in when you've finished with the winch?

p.s if you've got any more bullshit to fling about maybe you could take it to pm, coz i've had enough of this nonsense. ta


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## sojourner (Mar 30, 2009)

cheers for the abusive pm   VERY mature


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## ymu (Mar 30, 2009)

Oh. So when he said he'd dealt with it by PM, he didn't actually mean he'd issued a mature and graceful apology (but didn't have the guts to do so publicly)?

And there was me thinking he was all growed-up.


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## kyser_soze (Mar 30, 2009)

What a delightful thread.


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## Addy (Mar 30, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> christ, you can be a nasty little shit


 
How about you take a look at how you treat other posters, then question why they become hostile back?

I really can't be arsed to entertain you anymore.


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## cybershot (Mar 30, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> i objected to a warez link you put up that led to a page covered in hardcore porn adds, at the time i was browsing with my son. when i said you should have put up a warning with the link all you could do was give a great big "fuck you, you should have known better, it said warez after all. if you don't know what that might lead to then tough shit." a more magnanimous person might have at least apologised for exposing a little boy to hardcore porn



Now he is a bit older maybe engaging in watching some hardcore porn again together may bring you closer!

EDIT: Sorry I've gone off topic again. Yeah Mario Kart 2 player, it's wicked.


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## boskysquelch (Mar 30, 2009)

I just missed the post...for the 4th time...to get my boys b'day present to him...

x3 packets of Haribo GetMegaEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedOffYerFacetics

a packet of Co-Op FairTrade Double Choc Muesli Bars (x3 bars)

a packet of half pencil size Crayola wax Crayons.

a packet of pipe cleaner craft making shizzle eg people, animals...with glue, eyes, fur and feathers n sequins.

a £10 note(attached to card "For credit to phone me with!")

another card saying "happy Returns"<<<< views of the Cornish Riviera.

all put inside a bright pink plastic folder decorated in Hawaiian flowery type print.








inside a square hologram pattern sheet of wrapping paper...inside of an envelope which he'll prolly have to go travelling 15 miles to get coz the post is poop.

I don't "think" he wanted a Wii.

He's 14 today.

I'm *dead* aren't I?


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## DotCommunist (Mar 30, 2009)




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## Kid_Eternity (Mar 30, 2009)

Elvis Parsley said:


> i shouldn't have bothered with all the personal background stuff. it's got fuck all to do with you lot anyway, not that that stops the urban massive.



Don't mean to be rude but it's a bit odd posting up personal stuff on a public board then saying it's got nothing to do with anyone else.


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## Kid_Eternity (Mar 30, 2009)

kyser_soze said:


> What a delightful thread.



It's weird, we don't normally get this kinda of stuff in the tech forums really...


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## boskysquelch (Mar 30, 2009)

Kid_Eternity said:


> Don't mean to be rude but it's a bit odd posting up personal stuff on a public board then saying it's got nothing to do with anyone else.



My persepective was that the first sentence was a statement. Not an intro to a debate. The first part of the second sentence was further qualification to the previous statement. And the latter part of the second sentence was also a statement of fact.

I'm interested that sojourner is a Wii player. 

 I have frozen herring for tea.

Or rabbit...but I think the herring will deforst quicker.


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## kained&able (Mar 30, 2009)

Kid_Eternity said:


> It's weird, we don't normally get this kinda of stuff in the tech forums really...



thats beacuse the non geeks don't fear this place unlike the real computing forums.


dave


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## Kid_Eternity (Mar 30, 2009)

kained&able said:


> thats beacuse the non geeks don't fear this place unlike the real computing forums.
> 
> 
> dave



I always thought it was because the sub culture is a little different in the tech forums (except for the odd Apple vs Ms or Palm vs Apple flare ups)...


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## boskysquelch (Mar 31, 2009)

tux on


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## sojourner (Mar 31, 2009)

boskysquelch said:


> I'm interested that sojourner is a Wii player.



Are you?

I'm not.

However, I am now the recipient of yet another abusive pm.  This could run and run.


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## boskysquelch (Mar 31, 2009)

my interests are multitudinous. including being the father of two teenage kids and the friend of many more besides.

and now I have another day of cowtailing to the council in an attempt to get somewhere to live where my kids can come see me and stay for more than a couple of hours over the next 4 years.


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## sojourner (Mar 31, 2009)

what is cowtailing?


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## boskysquelch (Mar 31, 2009)

sojourner said:


> what is cowtailing?



wandering around stuck to their arse. i think. 

erm... http://www.seakayakermag.com/2002/02August/cowtail01.htm


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## ymu (Mar 31, 2009)

sojourner said:


> However, I am now the recipient of yet another abusive pm.  This could run and run.


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## bmd (Mar 31, 2009)

sojourner said:


> Are you?
> 
> I'm not.
> 
> However, I am now the recipient of yet another abusive pm.  This could run and run.



You're joking. 

No need.


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## sojourner (Mar 31, 2009)

Bob Marleys Dad said:


> You're joking.
> 
> No need.



Nope

I have responded in kind though .  I could put EP on ignore I guess.  But where would be the fun in that?  Abusive PMs - great start to the day


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