# Annoying Adverts of 2012



## smmudge (Feb 10, 2012)

Dawn Porter and her silly glorified wet wipes


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## Big Gunz (Feb 10, 2012)

Go compare
Confused
British Gas

Same as last years list.


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## sim667 (Feb 10, 2012)

Because mummy says its so tasty, daddy says its so juicy..... At this point I get concerned about which part of maggi mummy and daddy are nomming down on.


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## gentlegreen (Feb 10, 2012)

smmudge said:


> Dawn Porter and her silly glorified wet wipes


Flushable though. - in moderation.

Personally I make my own with value bog roll and diluted aloe vera gel ...


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## gentlegreen (Feb 10, 2012)

Payday loans generally.

I almost miss the old-style Ocean Finance ones that almost looked like public information films designed to put people off ...


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## ginger_syn (Feb 11, 2012)

All of the car ads, anything for valantines, and the Jordans muesli one.


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## tar1984 (Feb 11, 2012)

I never watch tv.  Ha.


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## starfish (Feb 11, 2012)

Yoda Voda shit. Thanks George you cunt. Its not as if youve got enough money already.


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## Sweetpea (Feb 11, 2012)

tar1984 said:


> I never watch tv. Ha.


Yep, don't have a TV and have never owned one since leaving home (and we never had one at home either) so I don't understand some of the above references.
Most annoying advert is "Luxury apartments, coming soon" not sure that is a 2012 thing though.


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## Augie March (Feb 12, 2012)

The latest eharmony ad. "Being single can be amazing" you can do chair painting, go swimming, wistfully look out to sea... I don't remember any of that, all I remember is years of wanking into a sock and crying myself to sleep at night.


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## gentlegreen (Feb 12, 2012)

eHarmony won't let me join - I think I tried to give sensible responses to their interminable test on two separate occaisions.

As I said several times, the people in the previous adverts give me the creeps.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 12, 2012)

I'm currently being wound up by radio adverts for Phantom Menace in 3-d

a) I cannot see 3-d properly

b) It is not 'The greatest saga ever'

c) Doing it in 3-d isn't going to make the film magically better. Admittedly the pod race would look cool in 3d, but I can't see it. Cunts


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## bi0boy (Feb 12, 2012)

I hate shampoo and cosmetic ones

I wish the ASA would make them define "radiance" in relation to skin & hair.


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## gentlegreen (Feb 13, 2012)

bi0boy said:


> I wish the ASA would make them define "radiance" in relation to skin & hair.


and not forgetting "lash impact" ...


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## Pingu (Feb 13, 2012)

and "in tests 90% who expressed a preference said they thought it was betterer" (sample size of 10)


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## gentlegreen (Feb 13, 2012)




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## Big Gunz (Feb 13, 2012)

Moonpig is annoying especially the ditty.  Funkypigeon is annoying too but I find myself singing it aloud when it comes on.


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## maldwyn (Feb 13, 2012)

Becks in his pants


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## Greebo (Feb 13, 2012)

Adverts for online bingo and betting - because wasting money through a modem is much more fun than having to leave the house to do so.


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## 5t3IIa (Feb 13, 2012)

BT Joe and his ginger friend and the girl. This one will run and run and run and run and run


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## mrsfran (Feb 13, 2012)

That Mel B ad for Jenny Craig. "Bombada bombada". SHUT UP.


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## gosub (Feb 13, 2012)

sport relief. fern cotton one was bad enough, but precocious brat one


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## felixthecat (Feb 13, 2012)

maldwyn said:


> Becks in his pants


 Sorry maldwyn - I can't get enough of that one


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## gentlegreen (Feb 13, 2012)

Didn't he say he was packing that in ?


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## Espresso (Feb 14, 2012)

gentlegreen said:


> Didn't he say he was packing that in ?


 
Certainly looks like he is, in that ad.


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## gentlegreen (Feb 14, 2012)

ewww


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## The Octagon (Feb 15, 2012)

5t3IIa said:


> BT Joe and his ginger friend and the girl. This one will run and run and run and run and run


 
I hope that advert ends with the girl helping the nerdy bloke to garotte BT Joe with the BT Hub wire and then having sex on his corpse while his boring mum tries calling him.

I think I may be disappointed.


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## 5t3IIa (Feb 15, 2012)

The Octagon said:


> I hope that advert ends with the girl helping the nerdy bloke to garotte BT Joe with the BT Hub wire and then having sex on his corpse while his boring mum tries calling him.
> 
> I think I may be disappointed.


 
I'm pedo for Joe


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## gentlegreen (Feb 15, 2012)

I don't know which one I feel most sympathy for - the nerdy bloke didn't "get" the girl's suggestive remark about "hot spots" so he's apparently being dressed up as an "innocent".. 

--------------------------

I'm finally getting fed up with the meerkats now ...  and sooner or later it won't me enough for me to merely pre-empt the Scots bloke on the COOP advert - "geud with fud" / "gewde with food".


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## DotCommunist (Feb 15, 2012)

John Hannah. I'll forgive him anything for his role as foul mouthed Roman patriarch Batiatus In Spartacus: Blood and Sand


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## The Octagon (Feb 15, 2012)

"Once again the Gods part low price high quality discount aisles, only to ram cock in arse"


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## DotCommunist (Feb 15, 2012)

crying out for some clever audio splicing 'Sainsburies, BY JUPITERS COCK!'


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## The Octagon (Feb 15, 2012)

"If you can find a cheaper price in any other supermarket........ I'll part you from your cocks and crucify you in the car park"

Someone with techy knowledge make this happen.


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## gentlegreen (Feb 15, 2012)

Someone's done one for Youtube :-



Doesn't sound like my sort of film at all.


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## Wolveryeti (Feb 17, 2012)

This Coors advert fucking sucks:

Jean Claude, why?


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## twentythreedom (Feb 17, 2012)

Direct Line. Cunts.


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## smmudge (Feb 17, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> Direct Line. Cunts.


 
innit. fuck me they are so awful. and they seem to have made some _more_. why can't they just fuck off??


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## gentlegreen (Feb 23, 2012)

Just encountered this French one from 2007 :-


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 23, 2012)

That precocious girl selling Lemonade or whatever in various currencies and languages. Is it for HSBC? It really fucks me off


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## purenarcotic (Feb 23, 2012)

Yeah, it is.

Fucking webuyanycar won't fucking cunt off like they should. I can't stand that advert.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 23, 2012)

any any any


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## kabbes (Feb 23, 2012)

Adverts annoy me less since we got a PVR.  Most stuff we watch now tends to be stuff previously taped, allowing us to avoid the adverts.  Then when I do watch stuff live and have to watch the adverts, I haven't generally had to sit through them a million times already.

Saying that, here's the one that gets me: the BUPA one with Charlie the Old Man.

He's 83, but he won a medal in the second world war, before returning to his wife.

He was born in 1929 but he won a medal in the second world war, before returning to his wife.

He was 10 when the second world war war started and 16 when it finished,  but he won a medal in it, before returning to his wife.

ORLY?


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## QueenOfGoths (Feb 23, 2012)

purenarcotic said:


> Yeah, it is.
> 
> Fucking webuyanycar won't fucking cunt off like they should. I can't stand that advert.


 
When it was just on the radio it was somehow less annoying as it was kind of tacky and you could sing along. It's shit on TV though.



DotCommunist said:


> any any any


 
Lol


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## gentlegreen (Feb 23, 2012)

kabbes said:


> Saying that, here's the one that gets me: the BUPA one with Charlie the Old Man.


The one who "even has his own chickens" ?

I was wondering if they were hinting at senility ..

Certainly not the sort of advert I want to watch at 52. I can more easily dismiss bloody Parky et al's funeral plan - leave something for when you're gone ? - I'll leave a shovel an some bin bags.


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## kabbes (Feb 23, 2012)

They don't sing "we buy any car" any more, though.  They sing, "We just sold our car (fair deal)"

Bunch of cunts anyway.  They only offered me £100 for my old car.  I sold it on ebay instead and got £500 for it.  And that was with being overcautious about photographing every small scratch and broken bit on ebay, but being liberal with the truth on webuyanycar.


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## kabbes (Feb 23, 2012)

gentlegreen said:


> The one who "even has his own chickens" ?


 
That's the one.  Could they not have done some basic maths before putting the advert out?  Has it really reached the point where Young Creatives just view all old people as generically old, and Old = Was In The War?



> I was wondering if they were hinting at senility ..


I think possibly they were (maybe, possibly), but not in the sense that he had made up the bit about being in the war.  I think that was just a cock-up.



> Certainly not the sort of advert I want to watch at 52. I can more easily dismiss bloody Parky et al's funeral plan - leave something for when you're gone ? - I'll leave a shovel an some bin bags.


PAY US MONEY OR YOU WILL BE A GIBBERING WRECK ON THE SIDE OF A ROAD


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## DotCommunist (Feb 23, 2012)

The radio adverts still have a burst off the 'webuyanycar' song at the start and finish.

Also: autoglass. Fuck off. 'And if your fully comp...' lies


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## gosub (Feb 23, 2012)

kabbes said:


> Adverts annoy me less since we got a PVR.  Most stuff we watch now tends to be stuff previously taped, allowing us to avoid the adverts.  Then when I do watch stuff live and have to watch the adverts, I haven't generally had to sit through them a million times already.
> 
> Saying that, here's the one that gets me: the BUPA one with Charlie the Old Man.
> 
> ...


Thought it just said war so could be Korea where everybody got a  medal just for being there


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## kabbes (Feb 23, 2012)

gosub said:


> Thought it just said war so could be Korea where everybody got a medal just for being there


That is a technically possible explanation and one that did cross my mind.  I think the advert really, *really* strongly implies otherwise though.  Nobody says just "the war" and means the UK's involvement in Korea.  I think you're letting the advert-makers off lightly on a technicality, when actually they're clueless morons.


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## smmudge (Feb 23, 2012)

kabbes said:


> They don't sing "we buy any car" any more, though. They sing, "We just sold our car (fair deal)"


 
No it's " we just sold our car (fur dale)". I'm pretty sure anyway.


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## kabbes (Feb 23, 2012)

Yes, you're actually probably right.


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## DotCommunist (Feb 23, 2012)

maybe he was a resistance fighter in occupied Holland like the inspiration behind Westalls 'The Machine Gunners'


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## kabbes (Feb 23, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> maybe he was a resistance fighter in occupied Holland like the inspiration behind Westalls 'The Machine Gunners'


With a wife at home?  Despite the fact that he was under 16 years of age?


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## DotCommunist (Feb 23, 2012)

true. Its a fraud then.


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## purenarcotic (Feb 23, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> any any any


 
AHHHHH.


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## purenarcotic (Feb 23, 2012)

DotCommunist said:


> The radio adverts still have a burst off the 'webuyanycar' song at the start and finish.
> 
> Also: autoglass. Fuck off. 'And if your fully comp...' lies


 
Oh God yes to Autoglass.  When I worked in a charity shop a couple of years back Heart FM seemed obsessed with that advert.  All fucking day it was 'autoglass repair, autoglass replace!' I nearly went fucking insane.

That'll teach me to volunteer.


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## susie12 (Feb 23, 2012)

The Olio kid teaching her dad to eat a biscuit <vomits>


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## purenarcotic (Mar 17, 2012)

Has anybody seen the latest Calgon advert?  I've seen bad dubbing, but this really takes the biscuit.  It annoys me so much, make some effort for fuck's sake.


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## savoloysam (Mar 18, 2012)

You breath, you save, you fart, you save, you take a massive dump on your carpet, you save.

Fuck off!


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## Espresso (Mar 18, 2012)

That squiggly tached tit is still on my telly. I will never, ever, ever go compare. All because of him.


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## gentlegreen (Mar 18, 2012)

The Wonga advert is starting to seem creepy - not just the stereotypical old people, but who this advert is aimed at - with the "humour" being a distraction from the grim reality of people forced to borrow money at high rates of interest.


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## savoloysam (Mar 18, 2012)

But they are borrowing off Gran, she's gullible and loves to give away money. She doesn't expect you to mow the lawn after either.


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## mao (Mar 18, 2012)

Sandy balls... for simple pleasures.


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## zoooo (Mar 18, 2012)

I've been there!


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## zoooo (Mar 18, 2012)

susie12 said:


> The Olio kid teaching her dad to eat a biscuit <vomits>


 Why is the sound on that ad so shit? You can't understand a bloody word she's saying.


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## smmudge (Mar 19, 2012)

That RIAS ad has unbelievably shit sound. And it doesn't cost much to dub a line over sync audio to make it sound decent. Tight fucks!


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## zoooo (Mar 22, 2012)

If I have to watch that fucking rape awareness ad one more shitting time I will blow my own brains out.
EVERY SINGLE AD BREAK! Not an exaggeration.
Surely they understand they are overdoing it?


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## gentlegreen (Mar 22, 2012)

zoooo said:


> If I have to watch that fucking rape awareness ad one more shitting time I will blow my own brains out.
> EVERY SINGLE AD BREAK! Not an exaggeration.
> Surely they understand they are overdoing it?


Do you watch ITV1 ?


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## zoooo (Mar 22, 2012)

For Coronation Street and Harry Hill, yep. Why?
I've been seeing it on several channels.


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## gentlegreen (Mar 22, 2012)

zoooo said:


> For Coronation Street and Harry Hill, yep. Why?
> I've been seeing it on several channels.


 
Yes, but I bet they show those public information films more often on ITV1 - I certainly notice the difference if I watch Harry Hill. The channels I usually watch seem to carry mostly hair and cosmetics ads - it reminds me a bit of Radio Luxembourg .....


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## smmudge (Apr 1, 2012)

Some dove deoderant advert:
We need to find another area of women's bodies to capitalise on so buy our deoderant for BEAUTIFUL ARMPITS because without it you will have UGLY ARMPITS.
Oh and btw we're running a campaign trying to boost the self-esteem of girls.


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## QueenOfGoths (Apr 1, 2012)

Corsodyl mouthwash- which uses "Tainted Love" as the music and which, to me, seems to be saying that if you have a plate because your tooth is missing you are 'tainted' and not beautiful. Fuck right off


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## mao (Apr 1, 2012)




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## smmudge (Apr 2, 2012)

Oral B toothpaste lady:
"I've just woken up and...."
HAHAHAHA, like fuck you have love!


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## savoloysam (Apr 8, 2012)

Where did they get these humungous dickheads from?


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## twentythreedom (Apr 10, 2012)

Meant to say about this a while back - "blood in your pooooo, or loooose poooo" 

I know it's srs bznz but even still..... "poooooooo"


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## Schmetterling (Apr 10, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> Meant to say about this a while back - "blood in your pooooo, or loooose poooo"
> 
> I know it's srs bznz but even still..... "poooooooo"


Totally with you there.  I.do.not.want.to.hear.that.word.in.an.advert!  Plus, it's children language. 
When I hear poo I see poo. When I hear faeces I see flowers and butterflies and ladybirds.


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## zoooo (Apr 10, 2012)

Agree 100%.
Ridiculous word to hear in an advert.


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## savoloysam (Apr 10, 2012)

I prefer that to stool TBH


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## gentlegreen (Apr 10, 2012)

Speaking as someone who actually has that symptom, I'd sooner not see the advert at all, but "poo" seems about right.


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## nastybobby (Apr 10, 2012)

Speaking of 'stools'. Is it just me, or does this 'thing' from the EDF advert resemble one? Seems like every advert now has to have some type of cute critter, I blame those bastard meerkats.


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## T & P (Apr 10, 2012)

savoloysam said:


> Where did they get these humungous dickheads from?



 The friendly face of predatory loan sharks.


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## marty21 (Apr 10, 2012)

Saw an ad tonight for a yoghurt - pretty lady eating dinner with her pretty lady friends - she goes off to get dessert - 'what's her secret?' they say - she then bring them yoghurt for dessert - fucking yoghurt no cake, no ice cream, no tiramasu, yoghurt


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## StoneRoad (Apr 10, 2012)

don't watch all that much tv, but I find most ads fecking awful interruptions, and thus very annoying.....luckily they have zilch affect on what I buy !

of those I can remember - go compare, british gas, any cosmetic/hair/de-oderant type product, confused, tesco, payday loans all come pretty high up the hate list.

Question - does anyone else find the tv volume seems to go up as soon as the ad break starts?? that is assuming the mute is not applied....


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## Greebo (Apr 10, 2012)

StoneRoad said:


> <snip>Question - does anyone else find the tv volume seems to go up as soon as the ad break starts?? that is assuming the mute is not applied....


Yes


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## DotCommunist (Apr 10, 2012)

it doesn't go up, they just stop modulating the sound channels (or something) so every sound is blatting at the top end rather than variations


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## smmudge (Apr 10, 2012)

Yeah they compress the audio in ads to fuck so there isn't any variation in dynamics, especially compared to yer average telly prog. And they make sure it's as loud as it can be of course.

Has anyone noticed how the ebay and F&F tesco clothing ads are exactly the same?


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## Espresso (Apr 11, 2012)

nastybobby said:


> Speaking of 'stools'. Is it just me, or does this 'thing' from the EDF advert resemble one? Seems like every advert now has to have some type of cute critter, I blame those bastard meerkats.




It most sertainly is *not* just you. 
Mind you - until your post, I was beginning to think it _might_ just be me. 

Yep, he/she/it certainly looks like a turd to me. A turd with eyes. What a ghastly concept.


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## Big Gunz (Apr 12, 2012)

Magnum ice cream.  They don't grow back you fucking liars, which wanker thought that would be a catchy tagline?


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## Schmetterling (Apr 14, 2012)

Didn't we have a conversation about the Tena lady in here?  Someone had met her at a party, posted a clip on here, I promised to look at home....
Did I miss something?  Were the posts removed for a reason?  *scratch head*  Whaaaat?


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## Termite Man (Apr 14, 2012)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Corsodyl mouthwash- which uses "Tainted Love" as the music and which, to me, seems to be saying that if you have a plate because your tooth is missing you are 'tainted' and not beautiful. Fuck right off


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## Termite Man (Apr 14, 2012)

nastybobby said:


> Speaking of 'stools'. Is it just me, or does this 'thing' from the EDF advert resemble one? Seems like every advert now has to have some type of cute critter, I blame those bastard meerkats.




40 seconds in, I think the 'stool' is having a wank looking at the poster in the background.


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## Schmetterling (Apr 14, 2012)

Termite Man said:


> 40 seconds in, I think the 'stool' is having a wank looking at the poster in the background.


That did look suspicious, didn't it?


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## smmudge (Apr 14, 2012)

Schmetterling said:


> Didn't we have a conversation about the Tena lady in here? Someone had met her at a party, posted a clip on here, I promised to look at home....
> Did I miss something? Were the posts removed for a reason? *scratch head* Whaaaat?


 
You want CDL's thread in HRS


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## Schmetterling (Apr 14, 2012)

smmudge said:


> You want CDL's thread in HRS


Oh maaaan; thank fuck for that.


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## DotCommunist (May 16, 2012)

the latest werthers original ad has taken the dodgy subtext and made of it an overt celebration


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## gentlegreen (May 16, 2012)




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## andy2002 (May 16, 2012)

That actually rather racist Paddy Power ad about 'Gregos Traitorelli'. Repulsive.


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## Miss-Shelf (May 16, 2012)

fucking car adverts

all I have to do to bring blended family harmony to my home is buy a Renault
fuck fuck fuck right off


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## gentlegreen (May 16, 2012)

Miss-Shelf said:


> fucking car adverts
> 
> all I have to do to bring blended family harmony to my home is buy a Renault
> fuck fuck fuck right off


 
Speaking as a car-avoider, they're just weird - I genuinely watch these abstract, bonkers adverts with such obvious imagery and after a bit I always end up bleaching my mind by saying out loud "Oh I see, It's actually advertising the car".

The one I hate most at the moment is the pompous "Hyundai - "Think Again" "  bollocks - you can imagine the sort of tedious, blokey, suburban cager who's scratching his chin in response.


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## smmudge (May 19, 2012)

ffs whoever keeps making ads like this STOP IT. IT'S NOT CLEVER ANY MORE.


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## purenarcotic (May 20, 2012)

Those fucking 'smarter living' adverts.  'Yes, we've had some lovely sandwiches!'  Have you?  Fuck off, I couldn't give two shiny shites. 

I also went online and did the test thing you could do and the advice they offered was absolutely useless. Want to save money on food?  Don't eat out.  Well how the bloody hell did they come up with that stonking idea.  They are just so clever!


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## gentlegreen (May 20, 2012)

Gawd that really is crap.

I tried to upset it by spending zero on transport as I consider every trip I make on my bike as recreation.


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## gentlegreen (May 21, 2012)

OMIGOD, just seen that advert. Make your own sandwiches so you can buy more life insurance ...


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## sim667 (May 21, 2012)

The new subway is god awful


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## Frances Lengel (Jun 5, 2012)

That Richmond ham one where they're all naked. All it puts me in mind of is arse vinegar.


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## gentlegreen (Jun 5, 2012)

It could be subverted in the way of the horrible painting of a "reverse" butchers shop that was hung up in the veggie food shop I frequented in the 80s ...

Yep - not a pig  in sight - is vegetarianism finally catching on ?


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## twentythreedom (Jun 11, 2012)

BT broadband. "Rocking from an early age". You _cunt_!!


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## Miss-Shelf (Jun 11, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> BT broadband. "Rocking from an early age". You _cunt_!!


Im glad you said that
since when were duran duran rocking? no way do young people look back to duran duran and think they re cool. none i know anyway


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## savoloysam (Jun 11, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> BT broadband. "Rocking from an early age". You _cunt_!!


 
Another one of those typical blokes are thick as shit ugly creeps while women are goddesses stereotype adverts that piss me right off.


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## killer b (Jun 11, 2012)

Its well creepy that ad. As well as being shit.


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## Citizen66 (Jun 12, 2012)

I don't watch enough tv to pick up on annoying advertising trends.


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## gentlegreen (Jun 12, 2012)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Im glad you said that
> since when were duran duran rocking? no way do young people look back to duran duran and think they re cool. none i know anyway


I didn't get that either. It makes you wonder what generation the "creators" are and who those ads are actually intended for ..
My first curiosity was whether he actually paid for those albums ...


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## gentlegreen (Jun 12, 2012)

Citizen66 said:


> I don't watch enough tv to pick up on annoying advertising trends.


Even though the TV I watch isn't particularly mainstream, the ads I see are very annoying.
Katy Price and her dreary voice going on about her "blemishes".
I hate the fact that it means I now know vaguely who she is - and Cheryl Cole.


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## The Octagon (Jun 12, 2012)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Im glad you said that
> since when were duran duran rocking? no way do young people look back to duran duran and think they re cool. none i know anyway


 
I just assume she's deliberately picking stupid interests to make the blokes look like twats when they try to impress her.

Next advert: "I've always been a fan of Star Trek battle re-enactments / sodomising kittens / the films of Eric Roberts"


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## DexterTCN (Jun 12, 2012)

The Octagon said:


> ...Next advert: "I've always been a fan of Star Trek battle re-enactments / sodomising kittens / the films of Eric Roberts"


Those words are all interchangeable. 

star trek battle kittens, sodomising eric roberts etc.


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## savoloysam (Jun 12, 2012)

WTF is that Pot Noodle advert about. It's that bad I nearly had to ask the drug forum for the answer


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## twentythreedom (Jun 13, 2012)

That Oreo ad still disturbs me.

oh, and citizen66, fuck off!


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## twentythreedom (Jun 13, 2012)

savoloysam said:


> Another one of those typical blokes are thick as shit ugly creeps while women are goddesses stereotype adverts that piss me right off.


oh dear I suspect a nerve was touched!!

(((sav)))


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## savoloysam (Jun 13, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> oh dear I suspect a nerve was touched!!
> 
> (((sav)))


 
WTF are you on about


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## Espresso (Jun 13, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> That Oreo ad still disturbs me.


 
The child in that advert has clearly been round before. She's like a 45 year old woman in a tiddly toddler's body. Very creepy.


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## twentythreedom (Jun 14, 2012)

savoloysam said:


> WTF are you on about


 
jesus. ok - sam must be one of those ugly creeps and he resents the hotties in the ad etc lol etc

guess you had to be there! btw no offence was intended, just taking the piss out of you... well, trying to!


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## twentythreedom (Jun 14, 2012)

Espresso said:


> The child in that advert has clearly been round before. She's like a 45 year old woman in a tiddly toddler's body. Very creepy.


 
spot on. she knows things she shouldn't know. like, she's the grown up, licking and groaning, and dad's the kid with no clue abiut anything. It's wrong.


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## savoloysam (Jun 14, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> jesus. ok - sam must be one of those ugly creeps and he resents the hotties in the ad etc lol etc
> 
> guess you had to be there! btw no offence was intended, just taking the piss out of you... well, trying to!


 
I hate advertising tactics, all of em. Riles me to the fucking bone


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## twentythreedom (Jun 14, 2012)

innit. this thread's very existence proves that they've won already, just by virtue of us remembering and discussing their vile filth.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 20, 2012)

We need a best adverts of 2012.

As much as I hate British Airways, I do like their new London's Calling advert


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Jun 20, 2012)

Most annoying at the moment is one that I can't remember what they're advertising, but there's a choir singing Jerusalem, and then's it's stopped


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## gentlegreen (Jun 20, 2012)

That fucking "Diet app on my iphone" advert was on just now "I'm liking being back in the spotlight" -


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## T & P (Jun 21, 2012)

Not necessarily annoying, but just how many TV and radio ads are voiced by Brian Blessed these days? Seem like a lot of them.


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## twentythreedom (Jul 9, 2012)

Autoglass repair. Autoglass replace. Fuck off.


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## twentythreedom (Jul 9, 2012)

eHarmony girl does annoying tucking of hair behind ear to demonstrate thoughtfulness. Fuck them all, cunts!


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## gentlegreen (Jul 25, 2012)

Not annoying so much as bleurgh ...

The other sauces aren't to my taste as a non meat-eater, but Heinz salad cream - it's a bit like Brylcream isn't it ?
(not the consistency and taste so much as the other-era naffness) - or has it evolved to be more like French dressing ?





Just what that salad lacked ...


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## gentlegreen (Jul 28, 2012)

Can't find it anywhere, but the latest Sensodyne "dentist testimonial" advert features a dentist with a slight speech impediment - as if he himself had needed masses of orthodontic work...


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## gosub (Aug 16, 2012)

Halfords fake youtubes of people fucking up fitting windscreen wipers and car bulbs.  Both 1minute jobs you would have to be a muppet to pay Halfords to do for you


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## DexterTCN (Aug 16, 2012)

gosub said:


> Halfords fake youtubes of people fucking up fitting windscreen wipers and car bulbs. Both 1minute jobs you would have to be a muppet to pay Halfords to do for you


Yeah but what if your wife was doing it?


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## gosub (Aug 16, 2012)

She doesn't drive so a bit unfair asking her to 'fix' my car. Not sure i would have married her if she was so clueless as to not capable of stuff so basic.
I did have a garage owner bollock me once first time I replaced a timing belt, got to know me better and lent me tortion wrenches and stuff. That sort of stuff I don't expect my wife to be able to do.


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## Orang Utan (Sep 2, 2012)

That ad with the American and British card dealers in. The Englishman corrects the American's pronunciation of aluminium by saying 'it's got a u in it'. Which is wrong and stupid. Both the English and the American pronunciations have a 'u' in it. He should say 'it's got an i in it'


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## red rose (Sep 9, 2012)

"At Esso we make fuel that works on a molecular level."

Oh _really?_ So that'll be like every other fucking fuel then, and everything else on the planet actually!


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## gentlegreen (Sep 9, 2012)

Orang Utan said:


> That ad with the American and British card dealers in. The Englishman corrects the American's pronunciation of aluminium by saying 'it's got a u in it'. Which is wrong and stupid. Both the English and the American pronunciations have a 'u' in it. He should say 'it's got an i in it'


The whole thing's contrived. Who would tell someone to "look out for the *aluminium* signs" anyway ?


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## smmudge (Sep 9, 2012)

I've recently been seeing these 'smarter living' ads from Zurich or somewhere about how to save money. Apparently: stop paying for a gym membership and make your own lunch. Oh how I wish I was in a position that I could save money by cancelling my gym membership and not buying sandwiches


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## purenarcotic (Sep 9, 2012)

smmudge said:


> I've recently been seeing these 'smarter living' ads from Zurich or somewhere about how to save money. Apparently: stop paying for a gym membership and make your own lunch. Oh how I wish I was in a position that I could save money by cancelling my gym membership and not buy sandwiches


 
They're truly terrible, I had a rant about them a page ago or something.  They make me.


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## purenarcotic (Sep 9, 2012)

Oral B pro white toothpaste or whatever it is.  The amount of fucks I give that it's part of Holly Whilloby's (or however she spells it) daily routine is a big fat ZERO. 

Are people really so drawn in that they'll buy a product because they think it's part of a celeb's beauty regime?


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## thriller (Sep 9, 2012)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> We need a best adverts of 2012.
> 
> As much as I hate British Airways, I do like their new London's Calling advert




the first thing i noticed when i saw this on tv was that it has asians in the ad. dont see many asians in adverts.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Sep 9, 2012)

thriller said:


> the first thing i noticed when i saw this on tv was that it has asians in the ad. dont see many asians in adverts.


 

Well they had to stick 'em in just to show how multicultural London is eh?


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## andy2002 (Sep 10, 2012)

The 'Fabreze Car' ad featuring the bloke with the stupid, punchable face.


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## Favelado (Sep 10, 2012)

thriller said:


> the first thing i noticed when i saw this on tv was that it has asians in the ad. dont see many asians in adverts.


 

That's true. Asians are very under-represented in advertising.



Orang Utan said:


> That ad with the American and British card dealers in. The Englishman corrects the American's pronunciation of aluminium by saying 'it's got a u in it'. Which is wrong and stupid. Both the English and the American pronunciations have a 'u' in it. He should say 'it's got an i in it'


 
That doesn't work either because there is an "i" pronounced in both the British and American variations of the word.

He could say "You need to change the second syllable to a schwa, put the stress on the third syllable and pronounce the second "i". but that would be pretty weird.

I'm not proud of this post, I just couldn't stop myself.


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## andy2002 (Sep 10, 2012)

Favelado said:


> That doesn't work either because there is an "i" pronounced in both the British and American variations of the word.
> 
> He could say "You need to change the second syllable to a schwa, put the stress on the third syllable and pronounce the second "i". but that would be pretty weird.
> 
> I'm not proud of this post, I just couldn't stop myself.


 
Couldn't he just say: "It's got two i's in it, not one."


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## smmudge (Sep 10, 2012)

There's two u's in it in as well though.


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## andy2002 (Sep 10, 2012)

smmudge said:


> There's two u's in it in as well though.


 
But it's the extra i that changes the spelling from aluminum to aluminium and therefore the way it's pronounced.


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## Favelado (Sep 10, 2012)

andy2002 said:


> But it's the extra i that changes the spelling from aluminum to aluminium and therefore the way it's pronounced.


 
I thought it was spelt the same in both American and British English.

*Only one pedant is right..................but which one folks?*


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## smmudge (Sep 10, 2012)

andy2002 said:


> But it's the extra i that changes the spelling from aluminum to aluminium and therefore the way it's pronounced.


 

Yes but I'm saying that the guy is happy to say 'there's a u in it' when there's two u's, so he shouldn't have any problem just saying 'there's an i in it' when there's two i's without having to say, 'there's a second i in it', which there isn't even in the American spelling anyway.

I bet the advertising people did actually spend months having this exact discussion. I bet they got the actors to record multiple versions of the end so they could talk about it some more in post-production. I bet they changed their minds several times right up until the last minute.


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## Favelado (Sep 10, 2012)

I'm wrong it turns out.

Come on, give me some stick for it you wankers.


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## Maggot (Sep 10, 2012)

T & P said:


> Not necessarily annoying, but just how many TV and radio ads are voiced by Brian Blessed these days? Seem like a lot of them.


Not as many as Matt Berry - he's everywhere.


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## andy2002 (Sep 10, 2012)

smmudge said:


> Yes but I'm saying that the guy is happy to say 'there's a u in it' when there's two u's, so he shouldn't have any problem just saying 'there's an i in it' when there's two i's without having to say, 'there's a second i in it', which there isn't even in the American spelling anyway.


 
The British spelling and pronunciation of 'aluminium'/'aluminum' has two i's in it, the American spelling and pronunciation only has one. Therefore, him saying "it has a U in it" is neither here nor there when it's the inclusion or absence of the second letter i that is the significant - and only - difference.


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## smmudge (Sep 10, 2012)

Yeah I got that


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## sim667 (Sep 10, 2012)

Its all just metal though isnt it.


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## red rose (Sep 16, 2012)

"New Sanex Zero has a reduced number of chemicals"


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## gosub (Sep 18, 2012)

Fox's biscuits - a UK owned company that has been making biscuits in the UK since 1853, does not need a wise cracking, CGI gangster panda with an american accent to sell them. If anything it trashes the brand


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## gentlegreen (Sep 18, 2012)

gosub said:


> Fox's biscuits - a UK owned company that has been making biscuits in the UK since 1853, does not need a wise cracking, CGI gangster panda with an american accent to sell them. If anything it trashes the brand


A terrible, stylised / faux Noo Yoik accent.


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## Miss-Shelf (Sep 29, 2012)

Not an annoyance just a note
admiral car insurance features a same sex couple
although they aren't human they are russian dolls wearing hawaiian shirts
its a start


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## Espresso (Sep 29, 2012)

There's an advert for a Samsung phone at the moment. "Designed for humans"
Well, no shit.
It's a bloody phone. There'd be no profit in designing one for giraffes.


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## gosub (Sep 29, 2012)

There's a lot of animal tracking done using 2g


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## Frances Lengel (Sep 30, 2012)

gosub said:


> Fox's biscuits - a UK owned company that has been making biscuits in the UK since 1853, does not need a wise cracking, CGI gangster panda with an american accent to sell them. If anything it trashes the brand


 
And why does it pronounce biscuits as biskwits? The dick.


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## Greebo (Sep 30, 2012)

Frances Lengel said:


> And why does it pronounce biscuits as biskwits? The dick.


Because he's from Noo Joisey?


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## gosub (Sep 30, 2012)

Greebo said:


> Because he's from Noo Joisey?


but if it was from New Jersey, it would call them cookies


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## Greebo (Sep 30, 2012)

gosub said:


> but if it was from New Jersey, it would call them cookies


But he's trying to not use American English, for the sake of the UK customer base.  *logic explodes up itself*


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## DotCommunist (Sep 30, 2012)

any advert with babies laughter in it.You cynical fucks.


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## Espresso (Sep 30, 2012)

Greebo said:


> But he's trying to not use American English, for the sake of the UK customer base. *logic explodes up itself*


 
It is very bonkers indeed. If you want to use a talking cartoon animal to advertise English biscuits made by a company called Fox's, why the bloody hell is the animal not a fox with an English accent? Why pick the most instantly recognisably Chinese animal you can possibly think of and then give him an American accent? 

And as for those sodding meerkats, why are they Russian? No arsingbollockybloody meerkats in Russia. 

Ah. Feel better now.


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## gentlegreen (Sep 30, 2012)

Espresso said:


> And as for those sodding meerkats, why are they Russian? No arsingbollockybloody meerkats in Russia.
> 
> Ah. Feel better now.


Because "meerkat" sounds like "market" in a Russian accent - I'm sure you know that really ?
Actually, though it goes on a bit, I find it a lot more bearable that the dodgy opera singer one ...


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## gentlegreen (Oct 1, 2012)

What the heck is this "Achica" place ?
The most annoying advert is where she sees that something is "on-trend" and buys it even when she doesn't need it ...


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## lolo (Oct 1, 2012)

the new john lewis ad with the split screen time travel couple - i have to turn over for fear of smashing my own TV to pieces


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## Greebo (Oct 1, 2012)

lolo said:


> the new john lewis ad with the split screen time travel couple - i have to turn over for fear of smashing my own TV to pieces


*anticipates being called heartless etc if left cold by that advert*


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## DevilPigeon (Oct 2, 2012)

first4lawyers (and by extension most ambulance chasers, as well as adverts in general that put dumb emphasis on words they think will dupe people in believing their bollocks)

"first4lawyers are personal injury _specialists, _and guarantee you'll receive 100 _percent_ of your compensation."

And they close with the tagline of "no win no fee", so that sort of makes the "100 _percent_" bullshit meaningless. Tut tut tut......


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## Hocus Eye. (Oct 2, 2012)

There is a very weird advert on TV Catchup for the National Lottery. It features a man looking straight at the screen with a very worried looking frown shaking his head and saying "Lets celebrate".  It cuts to a strange grimacing dancing woman's face and other people dancing, with ribbons flying through the air above. Finally you see an idiotically grinning man's face also dancing wildly. I try to concentrate on the timing count down number in the top right corner while I wait for my programme to start.


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## rubbershoes (Oct 2, 2012)

DevilPigeon said:


> And they close with the tagline of "no win no fee", so that sort of makes the "100 _percent_" bullshit meaningless. Tut tut tut......


 
They're different things though. You can have a no win no fee case where the claimant doesn't receive 100% of their compensation.


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## rubbershoes (Oct 2, 2012)

Wowcher


Never!


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## The Octagon (Oct 2, 2012)

Espresso said:


> And as for those sodding meerkats, why are they Russian? No arsingbollockybloody meerkats in Russia.
> 
> Ah. Feel better now.


 
I feel suitably dirty remembering this, but I believe one advert actually explained the migration of the meerkats from their natural habitat to Russia, they're not meant to be indigenous.

*shoots self*


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## DevilPigeon (Oct 2, 2012)

Pounds2pocket. "I wish I'd gone to pounds2pocket first, as their application was fast and simple"

Yeah, it's preferable to pay hundreds/thousands of % APR compared to something more mainstream isn't it? Dumb twat.


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## gosub (Oct 2, 2012)

The James Bond coke and Heineken adverts, I know Fleming had brands in his books,but they are treating the release of skyfall like the olympics


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## twentythreedom (Oct 2, 2012)

The new soothingly voiced webuyanycar ad


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## Espresso (Oct 2, 2012)

The Octagon said:


> I feel suitably dirty remembering this, but I believe one advert actually explained the migration of the meerkats from their natural habitat to Russia, they're not meant to be indigenous.
> 
> *shoots self*


 
THEY'VE SUCKED YOU IN! Arghghghghghggh! 

Bloodymeerkattysoddingbuggers.


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## gentlegreen (Oct 20, 2012)

A juxtaposition of the first two of the following advertising / social memes during one commercial break ...

1. "sensitive teeth" - do these special people who need the "pro-argin formula" really exist ? And should they for so long have been missing out on the fluoride, whiteners, gum health components ?
Where can I get all these things without the horrible minty taste ?
And why do they pick dentists with speech impediments ?

2. "dry skin" - Should I be smearing myself all over with E24 or Vaseline lard-type gloop every day ?
And what a coincidence that mum, dad, and infant all suffer from this terrible complaint ?

3. "B.O" - though it's never directly referred-to in the Lynx adverts - and the ones where people are kissing each others' armpits .. who are these people who doubtless shower twice a day but still need something more - including ...

4. "freshness" in laundry detergent. Not a single detergent in the supermarket not sold by the synthetic, long-lasting stench they impart to one's clothes.

5. "Room fragrance" - perfect, minimal modern home .. middle of summer ... don't open the windows, deal with the stench from your family - the afore-mentioned over-washed, over-pampered, over-fragranced family, by squirting pretend corn fields into the air.
There used to be at least one product that actually anaesthetised the nose.

6. "perfumes" - 25 percent of all adverts for the next couple of months - essence of film star / super model - with not even any basic info about whether it's floral / herbal / animal / vegetable / mineral...

7. "supplements" - apparently my local H&B has an expert I can call upon. Funnily enough I've been going in there for decades and have never felt the need...

I could go on ... and include the live yoghurts which re-populate stomach flora ..(I'm rather partial to it, don't write it off altogether .. started making my own after a bad experience with antibiotics) .. but I'm told that eating vegetables is just as effective .. now there's a live yoghurt with cellulite or is it collagen - that can keep me looking younger ...

.. and then, decades after Germaine Greer we get the Boots "Here come the girls" - simple cave-dwelling men burning meat in the garden, .. or with "man flu" ...the women go off to pamper themselves with bathroom products.

cars - no one can live without one of those ...


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## Miss-Shelf (Dec 15, 2012)

....and the hyundi advert

'hyundi makes every moment special' 

ffs


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## rubbershoes (Dec 16, 2012)

The one with the cats and dogs in the nightclub has an air of wrongness


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## DexterTCN (Dec 16, 2012)

As said...sensitive teeth ones.  Do you have pain in your mouth?  See a fucking professional or stop eating sweets.

Also...gaviscon.   Are you in actual physical pain?  Cover it up!  With this drug which does not address the problem!


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## Orang Utan (Dec 16, 2012)

Those objectionable students in the BT ad. I want to kill them, esp the awkward ginger serial-killer-in-waiting. That girl is a sarcastic snobby cow too.


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## gentlegreen (Feb 27, 2013)

The latest Paul Whitehouse Aviva advert  with its appalling stereotype of an Italian _ristoratore_.


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## Dr. Furface (Feb 28, 2013)

That nauseating 'nah yer alright' Mcdonalds one - ugh!


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## gentlegreen (Feb 28, 2013)

Dr. Furface said:


> That nauseating 'nah yer alright' Mcdonalds one - ugh!


I wonder sometimes if these ad agencies get it wrong using that sort of crass "commercialised emotion" in the UK.
Surely my fellow citizens are more sophisticated than that...


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## Dr. Furface (Mar 1, 2013)

gentlegreen said:


> I wonder sometimes if these ad agencies get it wrong using that sort of crass "commercialised emotion" in the UK.
> Surely my fellow citizens are more sophisticated than that...


As the old adage goes, 'nobody ever got rich by overestimating the intelligence of the public'.


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## Drei (Mar 1, 2013)




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## gentlegreen (Mar 1, 2013)

Jesus wept.

The current Eurodisney advert is terrifying.

http://www.disneylandparis.co.uk/in...esvt=GOUKB340944410&esvadt=999999-0-4003392-1


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## gentlegreen (Mar 4, 2013)

Drei said:


> View attachment 29582


 
Talking about horses.

Damn Fleetwood Mac for selling out for that phone company.



My first thought was "value mince" - especially when the tractor showed up ...


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