# St Helens



## Bingo (Jan 27, 2015)

Just about to spend a few months here on a contract... what's it like? I have no idea!


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## lazythursday (Jan 27, 2015)

Hmm. I used to work there sometimes and found the town centre really quite grim. But some of the outskirts - former coal fields - are quite beautiful these days. Easy to get to Liverpool, which has become one of my favourite cities in the north in recent years.


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## friedaweed (Jan 27, 2015)

It's grim up North. 

I'm not a local and have only passed through St Helens but It's pretty ok for surrounding attractions. As mentioned Liverpool is within easy access as is Manchester, Warrington etc. A pal of mine lives there and he really likes it so it must have soemthing going for it. 

It's reet good for Rugby 

sojourner ??


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## friedaweed (Jan 27, 2015)

http://www.sthelens.gov.uk/what-we-...planning/public-transport/buses/saturday-bus/

This looks good


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## sojourner (Jan 28, 2015)

Eh up mate! Welcome to The Shithole of the North - you're gonna hate it here!   Who you working for then? Is it the lovely company responsible for the massive spread of asthma in children here?

Anyhoo - most of it is totally grim yes, and the people are under-nourished though mostly obese, ignorant, and the most unhealthy-looking crowd I've ever seen. It has a pall hanging over it, thanks to Pilks constant spewing out of all manner of muck from endless chimneys, and the pubs and clubs are populated by people after drawing blood, mostly.

However, I live here and so does the fella now, so you know, it's not ALL bad 

Seriously - there are two places that are absolutely golden, and where I spend most of the time when I'm out of the house.  Carr Mill Dam, and Taylor Park. Both of them have an absolutely _amazing_ array of birdlife. We've seen kingfishers, great-crested grebes doing their mating dance, cormorants, herons, all manner of ducks, gulls, geese, coots etc, swans breed every year at Taylor Park and they are both lovely walks.

As said by others, Liverpool Manc and Warrington are dead easy to get to.

Whereabouts you gonna be living mate?  We should get together - come round ours for a few smokes, drinks, sommat to eat eh?


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## Bingo (Jan 28, 2015)

Alright mate how's tricks? I never realised you lived there =) 

I'm not 100% sure I'll be doing it, but hope so. The money's good but they've just tried to drop the rate at the last minute the sneaky gits, so just arguing about that.

I'll be doing asbestos surveys for one of the local housing associations prior to them refurbing a load of properties... Get to see all the best ones that way, see!

Yeah I'm the same, I always seek out the water for the birdlife when I'm in a new spot.... Probably looking at staying in a bnb a couple of nights a week to start off with, and see what its like (know any nice but cheap ones?)

Cheers for the invite =) will have to take you up on that once I've got it all figured out!


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## Humberto (Jan 29, 2015)

Horrible


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## sojourner (Jan 29, 2015)

Bingo said:


> Alright mate how's tricks? I never realised you lived there =)
> 
> I'm not 100% sure I'll be doing it, but hope so. The money's good but they've just tried to drop the rate at the last minute the sneaky gits, so just arguing about that.
> 
> ...


Haha - yeh, it's a cesspool but SOMEONE of quality has to live here, so  it might as well be me 

Ah cool - well let me know how you get on.

Carr Mill Dam has a Premier Inn right on site luckily enough - so you'd get a brilliant view of the dam every morning (if you're on the right side obviously!)   All the BnBs I know of are like most - dosshouses.

Well, gis a shout if you do land up here, and we'll have a nice drinky


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## Dandred (Jan 30, 2015)

Rough as fuck.


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## Dillinger4 (Jan 30, 2015)

sojourner said:


> most of it is totally grim yes, and the people are under-nourished though mostly obese, ignorant, and the most unhealthy-looking crowd I've ever seen. It has a pall hanging over it, thanks to Pilks constant spewing out of all manner of muck from endless chimneys, and the pubs and clubs are populated by people after drawing blood, mostly.





Humberto said:


> Horrible





sojourner said:


> yeh, it's a cesspool





Dandred said:


> Rough as fuck.


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## Boppity (Jan 30, 2015)

Two people (that I've noticed) have mentioned easy access to Warrington but I can't imagine why anyone would want to go to Warrington if they didn't live here!


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## Dillinger4 (Jan 30, 2015)

How shit must somewhere be that the best thing about it is that you can easily get to Warrington. _Warrington._


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## sojourner (Jan 30, 2015)

Boppity said:


> Two people (that I've noticed) have mentioned easy access to Warrington but I can't imagine why anyone would want to go to Warrington if they didn't live here!


People might LIKE driving around endless roundabouts in a place that looks all the same!


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## lazythursday (Jan 30, 2015)

You can also easily get to Wigan, which is a smidgeon less grim than St Helens but otherwise much the same. 

I sort of hoped after my less than enthusiastic first comment some St Helens regulars would descend to tell me about the great pubs / cafe / whatever that I didn't know about. But it's clearly as shit as it seems on the surface. There's a giant head:







It's called 'Dream' and apparently is dreaming about what St Helens could be like if it wasn't shit.


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## Boppity (Jan 30, 2015)

I hate that giant head, every time I drive past it it creeps me out.


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## Boppity (Jan 30, 2015)

sojourner said:


> People might LIKE driving around endless roundabouts in a place that looks all the same!


Milton Keynes?


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## klang (Jan 30, 2015)

I lived there for a few months in 1998 or so. Sure, not the prettiest place and cold and windy, but I liked it there, found love and had a great time. But then I was young, optimistic and excitable.
There used to be a respectable record shop and a cheap sandwich shop in the centre. That's about it.


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## Bingo (Jan 30, 2015)

I used to work in Wigan it was not too bad... I can see what you mean about the giant heeed....AAAGH!


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## Dillinger4 (Jan 31, 2015)

chickentown.


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## goldenecitrone (Jan 31, 2015)

The best thing about St.Helens is Johnny Vegas. And he left years ago.


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## Fez909 (Jan 31, 2015)

lazythursday said:


> You can also easily get to Wigan, which is a smidgeon less grim than St Helens but otherwise much the same.
> 
> I sort of hoped after my less than enthusiastic first comment some St Helens regulars would descend to tell me about the great pubs / cafe / whatever that I didn't know about. But it's clearly as shit as it seems on the surface. There's a giant head:
> 
> ...


Looks like a cock/novelty buttplug. Nice and wide, flared base so it doesn't go all the way up


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## sojourner (Feb 2, 2015)

lazythursday said:


> You can also easily get to Wigan, which is a smidgeon less grim than St Helens but otherwise much the same.
> 
> I sort of hoped after my less than enthusiastic first comment some St Helens regulars would descend to tell me about the great pubs / cafe / whatever that I didn't know about. But it's clearly as shit as it seems on the surface. There's a giant head:
> 
> ...



True - about Wigan. I forgot there's also The Citadel - great music venue.  

The Dream looks like a giant cock end from all directions. Situated as it is on top of the old colliery, I like to think it's symbolic of the way the miners were so hugely dicked around. 



littleseb said:


> There used to be a respectable record shop


Kaleidoscope is the record shop, well remembered


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## Bingo (Feb 5, 2015)

Its on! looking at a little bnb opposite Taylor Park and working round Ashtons Green


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## friedaweed (Feb 5, 2015)

Boppity said:


> Two people (that I've noticed) have mentioned easy access to Warrington but I can't imagine why anyone would want to go to Warrington if they didn't live here!


Our kid lives there which is why I mentioned it. Oh and IKEA in case you want to walk round for 6 hours trying to find your way out


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## friedaweed (Feb 5, 2015)

Bingo said:


> Its on! looking at a little bnb opposite Taylor Park and working round Ashtons Green


Congratumiserations


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## Bingo (Feb 5, 2015)

Looks all right to me, all I needs a cheap clean bed with wifi near my work area and a nice green bit to run round... sorted!


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## harpo (Feb 5, 2015)

Here is what happened to me in St Helens in 1985.  I was in a pub with my then boyfriend and two friends. A large bloke approached us and stated, accurately, that we were scousers.  He was clearly offended by this fact.  It's a bit of a blur what happened next but it involved a large quantity of huge, lagered up rugby league fans.  We made it away in the car and on later inspection there were fist pummels in the roof of the car.

So in case the subject comes up, I don't think they like scousers. They certainly didn't then.  Things may have changed but check first, if the issue arises.


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## Boppity (Feb 6, 2015)

friedaweed said:


> Our kid lives there which is why I mentioned it. Oh and IKEA in case you want to walk round for 6 hours trying to find your way out


A lot of my furniture came from that IKEA


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## lazythursday (Feb 6, 2015)

harpo said:


> Here is what happened to me in St Helens in 1985.  I was in a pub with my then boyfriend and two friends. A large bloke approached us and stated, accurately, that we were scousers.  He was clearly offended by this fact.  It's a bit of a blur what happened next but it involved a large quantity of huge, lagered up rugby league fans.  We made it away in the car and on later inspection there were fist pummels in the roof of the car.
> 
> So in case the subject comes up, I don't think they like scousers. They certainly didn't then.  Things may have changed but check first, if the issue arises.


Don't people from Liverpool proper call people from these outlying towns plastic scousers? They sound pretty scouse in St Helens to me anyway - quite different just a few miles away in Wigan. I think it is Stuart Maconie who writes about the invisible, contested line between Scouse and Lancs - and the fact it is ever shifting eastwards.


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## Dillinger4 (Feb 6, 2015)

Bingo said:


> a cheap clean bed


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## lazythursday (Feb 6, 2015)

Boppity said:


> A lot of my furniture came from that IKEA


Isn't it the original Ikea in the UK? practically a heritage feature.


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## friedaweed (Feb 6, 2015)

lazythursday said:


> Don't people from Liverpool proper call people from these outlying towns plastic scousers? They sound pretty scouse in St Helens to me anyway - quite different just a few miles away in Wigan. I think it is Stuart Maconie who writes about the invisible, contested line between Scouse and Lancs - and the fact it is ever shifting eastwards.


Yep. It used to be woolybacks but when they built the overspills of Runcorn, and even places as far as away from the pool as Winsford, scouseness started to mutate spread far and wide.

There then became a second tier of scouseness to appease the poor fuckers left behind . The plastic scouse became the new wollyback which is now reserved for the people of the Wirral and anyone on the North Wales coast who went there looking for the rainbow and rock and sandcastles only to find rain, crack and a bag of brown  If you go to parts of Runcorn new town (Where John Bishop grew up) they sound more scouse than scousers. Widnes exists in the middle of all this contested boundary like a little Lancastrian  Bigadoon though. That place is well fucking weired 

Norman Tebit's bike also saw scouse outposts in places as far a field as Boscome in Bournemouth (The Costa Del Dole) too


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## harpo (Feb 6, 2015)

St Helens was definitely not scouse back then.  Firmly in woolyback territory.  Mind you, so was Southport.


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## friedaweed (Feb 6, 2015)

lazythursday said:


> Isn't it the original Ikea in the UK? practically a heritage feature.


Yup. The callands Estate that surrounds IKEA is mainly inhabited by Swedish people who have worked and retired at the store. You can often see them cutting holes in the ice on the lake near Hood Manor and plunging into the cold water after thrashing themselves with privet hedge. Not sure where they go for a sauna though cos the one in town is mainly for cross dressers.

It's been there since the 30's I think


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## friedaweed (Feb 6, 2015)

harpo said:


> St Helens was definitely not scouse back then.  Firmly in woolyback territory.  Mind you, so was Southport.


Southport used to be well posh. Now it's fucking grim." Since the scousers came" according to the old locals


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## harpo (Feb 6, 2015)

friedaweed said:


> Southport used to be well posh. Now it's fucking grim." Since the scousers came" according to the old locals


Oh Southport always had a seedy underbelly. I lived there in the 80s and worked in t'chewit factory and it wasn't as posh as you might think. It just lacked any of the character of Liverpool.


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## sojourner (Feb 6, 2015)

Bingo said:


> Its on! looking at a little bnb opposite Taylor Park and working round Ashtons Green


It's a dosshouse ha   If it's the one on the corner, about 3 or 4 storeys high? Technically, the area is known as Toll Bar. 

Brilliant that you're right by Taylor Park though!!  When you go, there's a big hill - worth a walk up to the benches at the top for the view - love it!  Also - there's an information board up there with the history of the park - fascinating stuff.  The Quarry part used to have these big high-up cages, with all manner of small creatures and birds in them - used to love it there as a kid.  The lido is now a skate parky thing which is a shame.

So when do you land then?


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## goldenecitrone (Feb 6, 2015)

friedaweed said:


> Southport used to be well posh.



When was that? Roman times, I'm guessing.


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## friedaweed (Feb 6, 2015)

goldenecitrone said:


> When was that? Roman times, I'm guessing.


My old fella moved to Southport from Huyton in 1950. He said it was well fucking posh compared to The Bluebell


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## sojourner (Feb 6, 2015)

harpo said:


> Here is what happened to me in St Helens in 1985.  I was in a pub with my then boyfriend and two friends. A large bloke approached us and stated, accurately, that we were scousers.  He was clearly offended by this fact.  It's a bit of a blur what happened next but it involved a large quantity of huge, lagered up rugby league fans.  We made it away in the car and on later inspection there were fist pummels in the roof of the car.
> 
> So in case the subject comes up, I don't think they like scousers. They certainly didn't then.  Things may have changed but check first, if the issue arises.


Good point - but sorry to hear about your experiences.  No, they don't like scousers. They don't like anyone really who doesn't sound like a fucking knuckledragging twat. Used to be a lovely accent round here - proper Lancashire. Now they just sound as thick as they are.



lazythursday said:


> Don't people from Liverpool proper call people from these outlying towns plastic scousers? They sound pretty scouse in St Helens to me anyway - quite different just a few miles away in Wigan. I think it is Stuart Maconie who writes about the invisible, contested line between Scouse and Lancs - and the fact it is ever shifting eastwards.



We're Lancashire so don't come under the placcy banner.  People from, say, Huyton would though. 

See above for the accent. The old St Helens accent was pure Lancashire - very similar to the Wigan accent, and gorgeously velvety, deep and rolling. Now, just thick


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## harpo (Feb 6, 2015)

Parts of Southport have always been posh.  Hillside/Birkdale footballer territory.  Or when I was kid, also people who talked with no trace of scouse in their accents.  They were definitely posh. Whereas High Park and environs, e.g., were definitely not.


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## sojourner (Feb 6, 2015)

Oh my god - you're gonna be in Parr 

You know I said St Helens was a total shithole?  Well, Parr is the shithole of the shithole  Rough as FUCK round there mate!


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## harpo (Feb 6, 2015)

sojourner said:


> Good point - but sorry to hear about your experiences.  No, they don't like scousers. They don't like anyone really who doesn't sound like a fucking knuckledragging twat. Used to be a lovely accent round here - proper Lancashire. Now they just sound as thick as they are.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes, on the same night, someone slightly friendlier gave us directions to go stret passt pilks wuks etc.  I could barely understand him.


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## goldenecitrone (Feb 6, 2015)

friedaweed said:


> Widnes exists in the middle of all this contested boundary like a little Lancastrian  Brigadoon though. That place is well fucking weird



I'll never forget going back to my grans in Hough Green after a year living in Spain and having some little snot-nosed kid come up to me and ask me for a 'knicker'. I beg your pardon, young fellow, I replied. 'Gizza knicker' he repeated. 'No knickers on me today, I'm afraid', I said, smiling at the forthrightness of the local youth.


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## friedaweed (Feb 6, 2015)

goldenecitrone said:


> I'll never forget going back to my grans in Hough Green after a year living in Spain and having some little snot-nosed kid come up to me and ask me for a 'knicker'. I beg your pardon, young fellow, I replied. 'Gizza knicker' he repeated. 'No knickers on me today, I'm afraid', I said, smiling at the forthrightness of the local youth.


They did give us that lovely May weekend in Spike Island  Where we probably all got ICI cancer dust


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## sojourner (Feb 6, 2015)

friedaweed said:


> My old fella moved to Southport from Huyton in 1950. He said it was well fucking posh compared to The Bluebell


I still think it's posh!


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## sojourner (Feb 6, 2015)

harpo said:


> Yes, on the same night, someone slightly friendlier gave us directions to go stret passt pilks wuks etc.  I could barely understand him.





goldenecitrone said:


> I'll never forget going back to my grans in Hough Green after a year living in Spain and having some little snot-nosed kid come up to me and ask me for a 'knicker'. I beg your pardon, young fellow, I replied. 'Gizza knicker' he repeated. 'No knickers on me today, I'm afraid', I said, smiling at the forthrightness of the local youth.


Small world! I've got an auntie lives in Hough Green!


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## sojourner (Feb 6, 2015)

http://mysthelens.com/places/Taylor Park/taylorpark.html

Take some monkey nuts - the squiggels eat them right out of your hand


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## Bingo (Feb 7, 2015)

A dosshouse! Haha is it a shithole then? =) Probably gonna be down mondays and thursdays


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## Boppity (Feb 8, 2015)

Just drove past the creepy head, shrouded in mist. Urgh.


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## goldenecitrone (Feb 9, 2015)

sojourner said:


> Small world! I've got an auntie lives in Hough Green!



Ha. We are probably related in some way.


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## Bingo (Feb 9, 2015)

it Parr where I'm at then? Seen worse!


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## sojourner (Feb 10, 2015)

goldenecitrone said:


> Ha. We are probably related in some way.


Nah, you can't be. That would mean one of my two cousins would have grown a brain. Never happen.



Bingo said:


> it Parr where I'm at then? Seen worse!


Have you actually spoken to anyone yet?!


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## Bingo (Feb 10, 2015)

Yeah man I'm well in with the locals! Hehe working near the Horseshoe pub


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## sojourner (Feb 11, 2015)

Bingo said:


> Yeah man I'm well in with the locals! Hehe working near the Horseshoe pub


Well mate, you ARE a bit weird though, eh? I should have thought on really


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## Bingo (Feb 11, 2015)

It's all I dreamed of and more.


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## sojourner (Feb 18, 2015)

Reet - how long are you working here for then?


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## Bingo (Feb 18, 2015)

Dunno, just did three days and just landed back in Leeds. Think I need a break! =)


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## sojourner (Feb 20, 2015)

Gis a shout when you're next over and we'll sort sommat out


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## Bingo (Apr 22, 2015)

Sorry not replied it went dead workwise but they've promised more end of April... I bloody hope there is, its a mint contract!


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## Boppity (Apr 28, 2015)

Dillinger4 said:


> How shit must somewhere be that the best thing about it is that you can easily get to Warrington. _Warrington._



I'm in Warrington.


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