# F*cking nightmare of a bastard commute



## Onket (Oct 20, 2012)

Starts Monday.....


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## Dan U (Oct 20, 2012)

got a good book?


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## Greebo (Oct 20, 2012)

Onket said:


> Starts Monday.....


How come?

BTW if you haven't got a good book, have you got something worth listening to?


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## ChrisFilter (Oct 20, 2012)

Where from and to? You moved, then? Get an iPad.


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## DarthSydodyas (Oct 21, 2012)

piss your pants and then move one seat up.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Alarm at 6. Short cycle to the station. On train to East Croydon now.

Not too bad so far, but unless I start to get to bed earlier this is going to do me in.


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## fuck seals (Oct 22, 2012)

Alarm @6?   Pfffft lightweight 

Alarm @4 twice a week for a 5 hour commute ...


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## xes (Oct 22, 2012)

*only has a 5 minute drive in the mornings*


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

fuck seals said:


> Alarm @6?   Pfffft lightweight
> 
> Alarm @4 twice a week for a 5 hour commute ...



Mug.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> Alarm at 6. Short cycle to the station. On train to East Croydon now.
> 
> Not too bad so far, but unless I start to get to bed earlier this is going to do me in.



Just after I posted this, a million people got on. Now at East Croydon, where I have had to buy breakfast and there are no bins, connection to Tulse Hill is delayed.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

What breakfast did you have?


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

Lasagne bap?


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## Greebo (Oct 22, 2012)

(((Onket)))  IME commuting is very much a state of mind.  Not that you'll ever really enjoy it, but it will become less grim.  At least you're tall enough not to get your nose jammed in somebody's armpit.


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## fuck seals (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> Mug.


I dunno - you quite into the london to paris commute after a while 

Anyway ---- mug in what sense?


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## IC3D (Oct 22, 2012)

Overland commute beats the tube hands down, breathing recycled air in a humid tunnel bluerg


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

did you make it yet?

total door - door time?


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## gentlegreen (Oct 22, 2012)

xes said:


> *only has a 5 minute drive in the mornings*


 
Good gawd. Unless that's at 70MPH, surely you could walk ?


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## xes (Oct 22, 2012)

gentlegreen said:


> Good gawd. Unless that's at 70MPH, surely you could walk ?


I am very lazy, and I pick up someone on the way in. (we could both walk I guess) It's only about 2 miles.


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## Crispy (Oct 22, 2012)

On yer bike!


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

So where is this incredible journey from and too?

6am isn't exactly a hellish time to get up in the morning.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> So where is this incredible journey from and too?


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

wtf is that


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## geminisnake (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> 6am isn't exactly a hellish time to get up in the morning.


 
Depends what time you get to bed and to sleep!!


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

Dan U said:


> wtf is that


The incredible journey.


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## Greebo (Oct 22, 2012)

geminisnake said:


> Depends what time you get to bed and to sleep!!


He will adapt.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

I am picturing a tired Onket later humming the Littlest Hobo theme tune....


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## Yetman (Oct 22, 2012)

Use the time to learn a language - Michel Thomas' Spanish Cd's are ace


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> 6am isn't exactly a hellish time to get up in the morning.


 
I agree.

But I used to be able to cycle 20 mins to work, for free. It's a bit of a change.



Dan U said:


> did you make it yet?
> 
> total door - door time?


 
Got in at 10 past 9, so not too bad. I will be knackered by Thursday, though, and I will need to start making some breakfast sandwiches for the journey, or to eat while waiting at East Croydon. Upper Crust is a bit pricey, plus they don't do the lasagne sandwiches Badgers is going to make me.


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## zenie (Oct 22, 2012)

How much is the season ticket?!


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> I agree.
> 
> But I used to be able to cycle 20 mins to work, for free. It's a bit of a change.
> 
> ...


 
So what is the journey? Where is it from and to and how long does it take?


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## zenie (Oct 22, 2012)

Also I used to sleep on my commute. I had all these ideas about 'yeh I'll be able to read loads' but I was so fucking knackered I just spent the time dozing.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> Got in at 10 past 9, so not too bad. I will be knackered by Thursday, though, and I will need to start making some breakfast sandwiches for the journey, or to eat while waiting at East Croydon. Upper Crust is a bit pricey, plus they don't do the lasagne sandwiches Badgers is going to make me.


 
I did a stint of commuting from Cooksbridge to High Barnet which was 2 - 2.5 hours each way and a bit of a struggle. Did read a lot more and did a lot of audio books. Got in the habit of making myself up breakfast/lunch the night before though, that was a lifesaver.


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## Yetman (Oct 22, 2012)

Even better, have a shower and a shave, then your breakfast, immediately before you go to bed, go to bed in your work clothes as well, and just sleep as still-ly as possible. When you awake in the morning you can walk right out of bed and out of the front door - that's an extra half hour in bed right there


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## RaverDrew (Oct 22, 2012)

Yetman said:


> Even better, have a shower and a shave, then your breakfast, immediately before you go to bed, go to bed in your work clothes as well, and just sleep as still-ly as possible. When you awake in the morning you can walk right out of bed and out of the front door - that's an extra half hour in bed right there


I actually used to do this when I had very early starts with a long commute.


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## gentlegreen (Oct 22, 2012)

Even *I* wash and change my pants in the morning ...


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## magneze (Oct 22, 2012)

You wash your pants in the morning?


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

When you say 'wash' what do you mean exactly?


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## gentlegreen (Oct 22, 2012)

Strip wash the nether regions at the basin.
I also go over my face a bit because I tend to wake up a bit crumbly ...
I don't wash me top half and change tee shirts until I've got to work and the sweat has stopped flowing.


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## girasol (Oct 22, 2012)

OMG, TMI gentlegreen 

(yeah, I know Badgers asked, it's his fault)


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## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

I hope that's not chronological and you do face before the nether regions...or at least use a different cloth for each


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

The Longest commute I had was when I was doing teacher training - had to get from Hackney to Hounslow - used to take a good 90 minutes most days

now mine varies  - (Hackney to Camden) the bus sometimes gets me there in 30 minutes, sometimes an hour, rarely more, and driving takes 30-50 minutes - depending on traffic

HTH


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## Greebo (Oct 22, 2012)

Lightweight - 2 hours each way for a 4 hour job.  Cycled half a mile, 1 train, 3 tubes, and a 3/4 of a mile run at the other end.  I was fit by the time that job came to an end.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

zenie said:


> How much is the season ticket?!


 
£80.50 for a week. I am avoiding going into zone 1- makes it much cheaper.



ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> So what is the journey? Where is it from and to and how long does it take?


 
Home, to work. 6am-9:10am, as per info already on the thread.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> Home, to work. 6am-9:10am, as per info already on the thread.


 
6 hours a day is a fair whack mate. I know it is not permanent but it will get tough


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> £80.50 for a week. I am avoiding going into zone 1- makes it much cheaper.
> 
> 
> 
> Home, to work. 6am-9:10am, as per info already on the thread.


 cheesus, £80 a week! I bung about £20 on an Oyster PAYG and that lasts me all week


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Tulse Hill via East Croydon from where?


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## mattie (Oct 22, 2012)

The only reason I bought a decent car was because of commutes. An hour and three quarters of noisy rattling and wind roar was turning me deaf.  To say nothing of the seat killing my back.

For the worst of the commutes I loaded up my MP3 player with loads of podcasts, at least it doesn't feel too much like time wasted. I tried a language course, but it's a bit tricky to maintain concentration (i.e concentration really should be elsewhere)


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> £80.50 for a week. I am avoiding going into zone 1- makes it much cheaper.
> 
> 
> 
> Home, to work. 6am-9:10am, as per info already on the thread.


No, you said you got up at 6am that's not the same thing.
Anyway I am more interested about where it is from and to.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> No, you said you got up at 6am that's not the same thing.
> Anyway I am more interested about where it is from and to.


 
I got up at 6, left the house, and got to work at 9:10.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Tulse Hill via East Croydon from where?


 
My house.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> My house.


 
So it's some kind of secret?


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> I got up at 6, left the house, and got to work at 9:10.


 
So you woke up and were immediately commuting, fully dressed on a train?
Why there secrecy?


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## Yelkcub (Oct 22, 2012)

I'm up at 5.15 and in the office before half six after a 45 minute drive from North London, through the Blackwell Tunnel and across to the hellhole that is Belvedere. It's about an hour back normally if I leave the office at 6.30pm.

I'm much happier working long-ish hours than I would be spending ages travelling. Sitting in traffic for ages, or spending hours on crowded public transport would ruin my day.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> So it's some kind of secret?


 
I don't really understand why people feel the need for me to post it on a public forum, no.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> So you woke up and were immediately commuting, fully dressed on a train?


 
I put my clothes on and walked downstairs. 5 mins max.

Then I rode my bike to the station, as per the OP.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Yelkcub said:


> I'm up at 5.15 and in the office before half six after a 45 minute drive from North London, through the Blackwell Tunnel and across to the hellhole that is Belvedere. It's about an hour back normally if I leave the office at 6.30pm.
> 
> I'm much happier working long-ish hours than I would be spending ages travelling. Sitting in traffic for ages, or spending hours on crowded public transport would ruin my day.


 
At least you get paid for it, I spose.


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> I don't really understand why people feel the need for me to post it on a public forum, no.


 
Well it's kind of relevant when you post a thread about a commute.


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## Yetman (Oct 22, 2012)

I work from home, don't start til 9:30am and I'm still late every day


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> Got in at 10 past 9, so not too bad. I will be knackered by Thursday, though, and I will need to start making some breakfast sandwiches for the journey, or to eat while waiting at East Croydon. Upper Crust is a bit pricey, plus they don't do the lasagne sandwiches Badgers is going to make me.


 
yeah it is a bit pricey, and a bit rubbish.

such a shame your employer is stuck in the dark ages re: home working and/or doing a 9 day fortnight.

if it is any consolation, i am working in Hereford tomorrow, then Port Talbot on Wednesday. So driving up tonight and staying in Bristol tomorrow. All a bit of a faff (but i will get to see B)


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> I don't really understand why people feel the need for me to post it on a public forum, no.


You started the thread for goodness sake.
How hard is it to say something like "I go from East Croydon to Farringdon. I leave the house at 6.30, cycle to the station and catch the 6.55 train. 45 minutes later I arrive and walk ten minutes to the office (or wherever)"
You tell us you have a hell of commute that you have to break up with a spot of breakfast, I'm interested as to why it is so hardcore, but I have no point of reference to judge that by.
I get up at 6am, drop my daughter off at school at 9am, walk back to the station to catch the 23 past train, change at Victoria for the tube to warren street and walk ten minutes to work to get in for 10am.
That's not a four hour commute just because I got up at six.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Well it's kind of relevant when you post a thread about a commute.


 
Maybe he's going to work at GCHQ?


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## girasol (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Well it's kind of relevant when you post a thread about a commute.


 
He's not asking for advice on how to get to work so I don't see the relevance at all...


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## Yelkcub (Oct 22, 2012)

I love that even this innocuous thead ends in an argument


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

girasol said:


> He's not asking for advice on how to get to work so I don't see the relevance at all...


 
See Atomic's post #60.


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Maybe he's going to work at GCHQ?


 
Or maybe he lives there.


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> Alarm at 6. Short cycle to the station. On train to East Croydon now.
> 
> Not too bad so far, but unless I start to get to bed earlier this is going to do me in.


 
Ok so now we know you leave at five past six (really??)
You take a short cycle ride so lets say that's five minutes?
You get a train from a secret location to east croydon at lets say 20 past or half past past six.
You get to east croydon within half an hour.
That makes your journey about an hour on the train and maybe 20 minutes walking or cycling?


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 22, 2012)

girasol said:


> He's not asking for advice on how to get to work so I don't see the relevance at all...


 
The relevance is that we are being told of a hellish commute but have no details.
It's like saying "my day is terrible from 11am to 2pm, just unbearable". Of course he doesn't have to tell us, I just thought it was a bit odd keeping the most important information a secret for no good reason that I can even imagine.


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## mattie (Oct 22, 2012)

I'm not sure haranguing him is going to get answers.

I thought he lived in Swindon, btw, but may be confusing him with someone else.  It could be why he's keeping schtum.


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

mattie said:


> I thought he lived in Swindon, btw ...


 
Shhhhhhhhh!


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## mattie (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Shhhhhhhhh!


 
We recently had a discussion on another thread about whether it's better to live somewhere leafy and have a longer commute or go for a bit more squalid with a shorter commute.

Onket's got it all backwards.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

Yelkcub said:


> I love that even this innocuous thead ends in an argument


 
Great isn't it?


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket is definitely going to react well to this


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## mattie (Oct 22, 2012)

I think he's too busy commuting, the poor sod.


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## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

mattie said:


> I think he's too busy commuting, the poor sod.


Is he still on the way to work, or has he left early to get back in good time?


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## girasol (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> The relevance is that we are being told of a hellish commute but have no details.
> It's like saying "my day is terrible from 11am to 2pm, just unbearable". Of course he doesn't have to tell us, I just thought it was a bit odd keeping the most important information a secret for no good reason that I can even imagine.


 
I thought we had plenty of details. Whatever happened to privacy anyway? People are allowed to give as much or as little information as they want... Do you work for the Sun or something? 

nosey gits!  (or is it nosy?)


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## twentythreedom (Oct 22, 2012)

AS is on fire today! 

(Hopefully his new leather jacket isn't melting)


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## girasol (Oct 22, 2012)

AS seems to think it's a competition, and that he needs to 'judge' how hardcore the commute is


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

Dan U said:


> Onket is definitely going to react well to this


 
I reckon that's the whole point of the thread, to tease people and then get narked because they're asking questions he doesn't want to reply to


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

i have a vision of Onket commuting out of his secret island lair


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> I reckon that's the whole point of the thread, to tease people and then get narked because they're asking questions he doesn't want to reply to


 
he's got to fill that commute home somehow.


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

Dan U said:


> he's got to fill that commute home somehow.


 
He could be checking all the places that sell lasagne


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## quimcunx (Oct 22, 2012)

plurker said:


> I hope that's not chronological and you do face before the nether regions...or at least use a different cloth for each


 
The second is a good idea.  Unless you are laundering the cloth every day then using the cloth on  your face then your bum then the next day your face, isn't really a great idea.


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> He could be checking all the places that sell lasagne


 I thought @Badgers was going to supply him with lasagne sarnies ?


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

do the @onkets work now?


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## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

marty21 said:


> I thought @Badgers was going to supply him with lasagne sarnies ?


 
Yeah, but they're for breakfast.  He needs dinner and tea lasagne


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

I think @Badgers is supposed to deliver his lasagne sandwiches to @onket 's secret lair before @onket leaves in the morning


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

although if Badgers knows where the secret lair is - it is no longer secret


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## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

Why is everyone suddenly using @username tags? This isn't fucking facebook.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

@onket is a fucking fussy bastard. There is only one meal I will ever cook for @onket now and that is a club sandwich


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

@plurker

or twitter


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

plurker said:


> Why is everyone suddenly using @username tags? This isn't fucking facebook.


 
Editor sold out to FB for $1bn.


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

plurker said:


> Why is everyone suddenly using @username tags? This isn't fucking facebook.


 
@plurker check your alerts 

(ps it is twitter not facebook)


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

Badgers said:


> @plurker check your alerts
> 
> (ps it is twitter not facebook)


 I think you can use them on facebook as well tbf


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

someone @ me so i can see if it really works

i don't believe it (had to shoe horn a victor reference in somewhere)


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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

@Dan U have a look 



marty21 said:


> I think you can use them on facebook as well tbf


 
Thanks @marty21 I was not aware of that


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## Kanda (Oct 22, 2012)

Huh? @Kanda


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## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

@Badgers thanks, that shizzle works on both @twitter and @facebook and now @urban75 as well. Where will it end?


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

Badgers said:


> @Dan U have a look
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks @marty21 I was not aware of that


 
nope


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## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

@Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U @Dan U

Now?


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)




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## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

@Kanda


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## Kanda (Oct 22, 2012)

Ah! Ta!


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## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

Dan U said:


>


I think it's the space in your username that's causing the issue. You'll just have to read every single thread now just in case.


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)

plurker said:


> I think it's the space in your username that's causing the issue. You'll just have to read every single thread now just in case.


 
doomed.


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

300 posts by the time @onket gets home to his secret lair?


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## Dan U (Oct 22, 2012)




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## _angel_ (Oct 22, 2012)

Greebo said:


> Lightweight - 2 hours each way for a 4 hour job. Cycled half a mile, 1 train, 3 tubes, and a 3/4 of a mile run at the other end. I was fit by the time that job came to an end.


Two hours ordinary commute time two-bus-nightmare in Leeds. And I can't even say I've travelled that far.


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## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

Badgers said:


> @Kanda


Does it work if the original @ tag is quoted I wonder...?


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## Kanda (Oct 22, 2012)

Nope


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

ATOMIC SUPLEX said:


> Ok so now we know you leave at five past six (really??)
> You take a short cycle ride so lets say that's five minutes?
> You get a train from a secret location to east croydon at lets say 20 past or half past past six.
> You get to east croydon within half an hour.
> That makes your journey about an hour on the train and maybe 20 minutes walking or cycling?


 
And?

I honestly don't understand why you need to ask any questions here.

I post a 'nightmare commute' thread. People then reply saying stuff like "Yeah, that's nothing, I commute for 5 hours each way" or "Yeah, that's nothing, I work from home" or "Yeah, that's nothing, I'm in Newport tomorrow & at the North Pole the day after" or whatever. Fair enough.

But then other people want to know where I live and where I work. The thread obviously isn't about that- it's about a long journey between two points. Those two points could be anywhere.

Did anyone ask the 5 hr commute fella where he lives and where he works? Or the work from home fella where he lives and how far he walks to the room with the computer in, and which room the computer is in?

No. Because it's not relevant.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Well it's kind of relevant when you post a thread about a commute.


 
No it isn't. See post #110.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

girasol said:


> He's not asking for advice on how to get to work so I don't see the relevance at all...


 
Correct.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

mattie said:


> I'm not sure haranguing him is going to get answers.
> 
> I thought he lived in Swindon, btw, but may be confusing him with someone else. It could be why he's keeping schtum.


 
I support Swindon Town. But I've not lived in the Swindon area since about 1996.


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## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

could you confirm if you live in a secret lair?


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

mattie said:


> We recently had a discussion on another thread about whether it's better to live somewhere leafy and have a longer commute or go for a bit more squalid with a shorter commute.
> 
> Onket's got it all backwards.


 
No, I just live a long way away from where I work at the moment.

If you would rather live 'somewhere squalid' that's your choice, but I wouldn't say you've got it backwards.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

marty21 said:


> could you confirm if you live in a secret lair?


 
No, but thanks for asking.


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> ... it's about a long journey between two points. Those two points could be anywhere.


 
But when you tell us where one of those points is (Tulse Hill) and that it's reached via another (East Croydon), it kind of begs the question "where's the first?"

But anyway it's your secret to keep. I really couldn't give a fuck where you live, I just find your coyness amusing!


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> But when you tell us where one of those points is (Tulse Hill) and that it's reached via another (East Croydon), it kind of begs the question "where's the first?"
> 
> But anyway it's your secret to keep. I really couldn't give a fuck where you live, I just find your coyness amusing!


 
Perhaps you think I should have referred to East Croydon as 'the first change' and Tulse Hill as 'the final train station, where I board the bus'?


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> Perhaps you think I should have referred to East Croydon as 'the first change' and Tulse Hill as 'the final train station, where I board the bus'?


 
That would have been more consistently furtive!


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## fuck seals (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> But when you tell us where one of those points is (Tulse Hill) and that it's reached via another (East Croydon), it kind of begs the question "where's the first?"



It does indeed beg thequestion, but it hardly requires onket to answer.

No wonder they call you spymaster ...


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## mattie (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> I support Swindon Town. But I've not lived in the Swindon area since about 1996.


 
I can't think why you'd ever leave.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> That would have been more consistently furtive!


 
No it wouldn't.


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

mattie said:


> I can't think why you'd ever leave.


 
I do regret it most days, tbf.

My accent is the biggest loss. Thankfully certain words or phrases still come out right. 'Car park' is a good one.


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> No it wouldn't.


 
Do you collect your post from a "dead-drop"?


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## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Do you collect your post from a "dead-drop"?


 
No, oddly enough it gets delivered to my house.

How about you?


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## mattie (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> I do regret it most days, tbf.
> 
> My accent is the biggest loss. Thankfully certain words or phrases still come out right. 'Car park' is a good one.


 


I went to a really nice tapas bar in Swindon a few months ago.  It was all a bit strange, Spanish words in a Wiltshire accent.


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## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> No, oddly enough it gets delivered to my house.
> 
> How about you?


 
Dead-drops. 

Much safer.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Do you collect your post from a "dead-drop"?


 We have had confirmation that there is no secret lair


----------



## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

marty21 said:


> We have had confirmation that there is no secret lair


 
Marty, if you had a secret lair, would you publicise the fact on the internet?


----------



## mattie (Oct 22, 2012)

So you reckon it's a double bluff?


He can't have _two_ secret lairs, surely.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 22, 2012)

What time are you off @Onket ?


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

mattie said:


> So you reckon it's a double bluff?
> 
> 
> He can't have _two_ secret lairs, surely.


 
He could have one either end of his journey, or one in East Croydon and that's the real reason he's there


----------



## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> He could have one either end of his journey ...


 
No. If that were the case he's already let slip that one's in Tulse Hill.

Mistakes like that can get you killed.


----------



## Onket (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> No. If that were the case he's already let slip that one's in Tulse Hill.
> 
> Mistakes like that can get you killed.


 
As I have already said, my journey doesn't end at Tulse Hill. You're not paying attention. Mistakes like that actually _can_ get you killed.


----------



## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

Badgers said:


> What time are you off @Onket ?


Left at 16.30 I reckon, to arrive home by midnight

edit - or perhaps not.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 22, 2012)

Spymaster said:


> Marty, if you had a secret lair, would you publicise the fact on the internet?


 I might say I have a secret lair but not tell anyone where it is


----------



## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

marty21 said:


> I might say I have a secret lair but not tell anyone where it is


 
Ahhh, the old "Kyriakov Deception". Hadn't thought of that.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Oct 22, 2012)

I think onket has given quite enough information for people to work out exactly where he lives and works. Just get out the map and check through the train timetables connecting the places he mentions in the period between 6 and 9 and with about 6 hours work you will get a few answers, one of which may be right. I would do it myself but I need to wash my hair.


----------



## Spymaster (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> As I have already said, my journey doesn't end at Tulse Hill.


 
Where does it end?


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

plurker said:


> Left at 16.30 I reckon, to arrive home by midnight
> 
> edit - or perhaps not.


 
Probably, due to wrong type of fog on the line


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

Hocus Eye. said:


> I think onket has given quite enough information for people to work out exactly where he lives and works. Just get out the map and check through the train timetables connecting the places he mentions in the period between 6 and 9 and with about 6 hours work you will get a few answers, one of which may be right. I would do it myself but I need to wash my hair.


 
Government offices in Croydon.  You can also get to Cheltenham in 3.5 hours


----------



## plurker (Oct 22, 2012)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Probably, due to wrong type of fog on the line


Fog is good for protecting secret lairs...


----------



## TopCat (Oct 22, 2012)

Onket said:


> And?
> 
> I honestly don't understand why you need to ask any questions here.
> 
> ...


Grumpy grumpy grump grump!


----------



## TopCat (Oct 22, 2012)

Tulse hill station and the trains that go though it are present in South London's equivalent of the _Bermuda triangle_. Trains stop for no reason for hours just outside the station, are cancelled at a moments notice and often crawl along at 1 miles an hour. You would be better off staying on the cycle.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

plurker said:


> Fog is good for protecting secret lairs...


 

His secret bunker's in here somewhere


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Oct 22, 2012)

TopCat said:


> Tulse hill station and the trains that go though it are present in South London's equivalent of the _Bermuda triangle_. Trains stop for no reason for hours just outside the station, are cancelled at a moments notice and often crawl along at 1 miles an hour. You would be better off staying on the cycle.


There was a similar phenomenon in North London a few years ago affecting Euston. There were always workmen in hi viz on the track while the train waited for ages to complete the last few yards of the journey.

I had a theory that they had a shortage of track and that two of the tracks did not quite reach to the station. They solved this by having one spare bit of track which they temporarily put in place when a train was due, leaving the other line incomplete. Then when the train had left the first bit of track, they could transfer that across to the other line only to be removed once the train had entered and later gone out again. It is not so bad now, they must have found some more track from somewhere. They still do the "we are approaching" message about 7 minutes before the train is due to arrive though, just to wind up people who are not regulars.


----------



## gaijingirl (Oct 22, 2012)

so what does the @thing do.... I honestly don't know.....


----------



## gaijingirl (Oct 22, 2012)

sympathies on the commute btw...


----------



## twentythreedom (Oct 22, 2012)

@gaijingirl - this!


----------



## gaijingirl (Oct 22, 2012)

twentythreedom said:


> @gaijingirl - this!


 
what?  It's not doing anything... I have a feeling I'm going to be ridiculed...


----------



## twentythreedom (Oct 22, 2012)




----------



## gaijingirl (Oct 22, 2012)

i've just asked gaijinboy, sat next to me, who is a software developer and he doesn't know either...


----------



## cesare (Oct 22, 2012)

gaijingirl said:


> i've just asked gaijinboy, sat next to me, who is a software developer and he doesn't know either...


It sends an "alert" to your "alerts" box if the person posting it is using Tapatalk (and Tapatalk only iirc).

The alert is that someone mentioned you on a thread and you just click through.


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 22, 2012)

gaijingirl said:


> what? It's not doing anything... I have a feeling I'm going to be ridiculed...


 
It's alright gaijin.  I have no idea what they're on about either


----------



## gaijingirl (Oct 22, 2012)

cesare said:


> It sends an "alert" to your "alerts" box if the person posting it is using Tapatalk (and Tapatalk only iirc).
> 
> The alert is that someone mentioned you on a thread and you just click through.


 
but I get an alert if someone mentions me on a thread anyway (not using tapatalk)... 


eta in gaijinboy's defence - he said it probably sends an alert that someone has mentioned you but then was flummoxed when I said I get that anyway...


----------



## cesare (Oct 22, 2012)

gaijingirl said:


> but I get an alert if someone mentions me on a thread anyway (not using tapatalk)...
> 
> 
> eta in gaijinboy's defence - he said it probably sends an alert that someone has mentioned you but then was flummoxed when I said I get that anyway...


Alerts are worded slightly differently. They say "so and so replied to your post on whatever thread" then you click through to the reply. Mentions (via Tapatalk) say "so and so has mentioned you on this thread ... then when you click through you find that someone has said @gaijingirl rather than gaijingirl in order to alert you.


----------



## gaijingirl (Oct 22, 2012)

cesare said:


> Alerts are worded slightly differently. They say "so and so replied to your post on whatever thread" then you click through to the reply. Mentions (via Tapatalk) say "so and so has mentioned you on this thread ... then when you click through you find that someone has said @gaijingirl rather than gaijingirl in order to alert you.


 
oooh yes - look at that!  Thank you.


----------



## RaverDrew (Oct 22, 2012)

I assume you're still working in Brixton ? In which case you may be better off going from East Croydon to Streatham Hill and then getting a bus.


----------



## StoneRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

my commute is just about one mile and a half. but 800ft downhill. great to cycle/walk on summer days but not fun coming back at night in the winter, also most of the route is unlit, so can be dangerous on foot. I tend to carshare, anyway.


----------



## colacubes (Oct 22, 2012)

RaverDrew said:


> I assume you're still working in Brixton ? In which case you may be better off going from East Croydon to Streatham Hill and then getting a bus.


 
You can't get the train from East Croydon to Streatham Hill unless things have changed since I lived there


----------



## RaverDrew (Oct 22, 2012)

You're right it only goes to West Croydon, I was confused by Crispy's post in this thread http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...y-train-oyster-question.300880/#post-11619891 you'd have to change at Norwood Junction, which is pretty easy to do tbh,  but I wouldn't want to suggest any further complications to Onket's journey, it might make him grumpy.


----------



## colacubes (Oct 22, 2012)

RaverDrew said:


> You're right it only goes to West Croydon, I was confused by Crispy's post in this thread http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...y-train-oyster-question.300880/#post-11619891 you'd have to change at Norwood Junction, which is pretty easy to do tbh, but I wouldn't want to suggest any further complications to Onket's journey, it might make him grumpy.


 
DO NOT ANGER ONKET


----------



## Onket (Oct 23, 2012)

It takes quite a lot to make me grumpy, this is why it doesn't happen very often at all.

The commute home is much worse- a bus, 4 trains, then a cycle.

The 8:23 from East Croydon to Bedford was late again this morning, resulting in me getting in at 5 past 9.

But I'm still not grumpy. Incredible? No, not really.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 23, 2012)

my commute has been longer the last couple of days - heavier traffic through Finsbury Park the cause mainly - today the Police were doing one of their vehicle checks - blocking the bus lane  which meant the traffic backed up


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 23, 2012)

RaverDrew said:


> You're right it only goes to West Croydon, I was confused by Crispy's post in this thread http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...y-train-oyster-question.300880/#post-11619891 you'd have to change at Norwood Junction, which is pretty easy to do tbh, but I wouldn't want to suggest any further complications to Onket's journey, it might make him grumpy.


 
He could go to East Croydon from Streatham Hill but he'd have to change at Clapham Junction


----------



## kabbes (Oct 23, 2012)

What were the circumstances that led to you doing this horrible commute, Onkey?  Did you keep the same job and change home?  Or keep the same home and change jobs?  And what were the factors in your decision that swung it for you?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Oct 23, 2012)

you should move to Peckham Onket - It has good transport links


----------



## plurker (Oct 23, 2012)

not-bono-ever said:


> you should move to Peckham Onket - It has good transport links


Or get a new job nearer where you live.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 23, 2012)

Onkey, you should really live just like I live, making the same choices as I did based on the same preferences and priorities that I have.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 23, 2012)

best commute I had was from Clapton to Dalston - 20 minute walk


----------



## colacubes (Oct 23, 2012)

marty21 said:


> best commute I had was from Clapton to Dalston - 20 minute walk


 
Mine is my current one.  10 seconds from my bedroom to my sofa.  And I can do it in my pants


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 23, 2012)

nipsla said:


> Mine is my current one. 10 seconds from my bedroom to my sofa. And I can do it in my pants


 
Not knickers?


----------



## colacubes (Oct 23, 2012)

Minnie_the_Minx said:


> Not knickers?


 
I prefer shorts as my every day underwear so I'd say pants.  I might branch out to a lacy knicker on a Friday if I was feeling fruity


----------



## marty21 (Oct 23, 2012)

nipsla said:


> Mine is my current one. 10 seconds from my bedroom to my sofa. And I can do it in my pants


 a better commute than mine - and i never did the 20 minute one in my pants - sorry Hackney


----------



## Minnie_the_Minx (Oct 23, 2012)

nipsla said:


> I prefer shorts as my every day underwear so I'd say pants. I might branch out to a lacy knicker on a Friday if I was feeling fruity


----------



## Onket (Oct 23, 2012)

I always wear pants when I am commuting. Not particularly surprised to hear Marty prefers to go commando, tbf.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 23, 2012)

Onket said:


> I always wear pants when I am commuting. Not particularly surprised to hear Marty prefers to go commando, tbf.


 should have said 'Just in my pants' to avoid such confusion - apologies


----------



## marty21 (Oct 23, 2012)

although I do go commando occasionally in the summer


----------



## Onket (Oct 24, 2012)

8:23 to Bedford only 1 minute late this morning.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 24, 2012)

Those minutes are stacking up


----------



## marty21 (Oct 24, 2012)

fairly heavy traffic between Manor House and Finsbury Park this morning - unsure of cause


----------



## kabbes (Oct 24, 2012)

Is this thread turning into retrospective rail announcements?


----------



## Onket (Oct 24, 2012)

kabbes said:


> Is this thread turning into retrospective rail announcements?


 
See thread title.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 24, 2012)

Fair point.


----------



## Santino (Oct 24, 2012)

Most of my commutes in the period 2009-2011 were ok.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 24, 2012)

Santino said:


> Most of my commutes in the period 2009-2011 were ok.


Good.


----------



## TitanSound (Oct 24, 2012)

Tramps fighting in Finsbury Park. Possibly due to alcohol. Unsure.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 24, 2012)

There was an obstruction at the gates of Waterloo this morning, but that obstruction was me.


----------



## Santino (Oct 24, 2012)

There was one knightmare commute when I had to navigate my way home wearing a helmet so I could only see the area around my feet.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 24, 2012)

Careful team, caution here.







Oooh, nasty.


----------



## Santino (Oct 24, 2012)

Only eight teams ever won the game.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 24, 2012)

Santino said:


> Only eight teams ever won the game.


My friend was on it when I was 12.  I can confirm that he was not in one of those teams.


----------



## Santino (Oct 24, 2012)

At its peak, Knightmare had almost 5 million viewers, which today would make it ITV's fifth most popular programme.


----------



## mattie (Oct 24, 2012)

I got the train into London today.  Pretty straightforward.  The nightmare comes when the company meet starts.  

Does a nightmare commute consider where you're going to?  I'd imagine a trip to the guillotine was a bit of a horror, regardless of traffic.  Although not a journey you'd be likely to repeat.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 24, 2012)

TitanSound said:


> Tramps fighting in Finsbury Park. Possibly due to alcohol. Unsure.


 too much or not enough?


----------



## TitanSound (Oct 24, 2012)

marty21 said:


> too much or not enough?


 
Both.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 24, 2012)

There are some convenient seats for them on Seven Sisters road, near Holloway rd junction, they seem to hold their daily meetings there


----------



## Santino (Oct 25, 2012)

Trains between Swindon and Bristol Parkway are being delayed by up to 60 minutes.


----------



## Dan U (Oct 25, 2012)

Onket said:


> 8:23 to Bedford only 1 minute late this morning.


 
you are doomed having to get the thameslink sadly.

they have generally pretty poor punctuality data, last release was nearly '94% within 5 minutes' but they are normally well below that
AND they are famed for having retimetabled loads of trains to just sit at stations or signals to build in cushions of time so that they can meet the timetables. but they still fuck it up.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 25, 2012)

Santino said:


> Trains between Swindon and Bristol Parkway are being delayed by up to 60 minutes.


There are also delays between Carlisle and Dumfries / Lockerbie until further notice.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 25, 2012)

kabbes said:


> There are also delays between Carlisle and Dumfries / Lockerbie until further notice.


 will this cause any problems on Camden Rd and Holloway Rd ?


----------



## kabbes (Oct 25, 2012)

marty21 said:


> will this cause any problems on Camden Rd and Holloway Rd ?


If a butterfly flaps its wings, there may be a hurricane in Florida.


----------



## Pingu (Oct 25, 2012)

nigeria had better watch out then... my dog has just farted


----------



## kabbes (Oct 25, 2012)

Warning!  Gas leak!


----------



## Onket (Oct 25, 2012)

Dan U said:


> you are doomed having to get the thameslink sadly.
> 
> they have generally pretty poor punctuality data, last release was nearly '94% within 5 minutes' but they are normally well below that
> AND they are famed for having retimetabled loads of trains to just sit at stations or signals to build in cushions of time so that they can meet the timetables. but they still fuck it up.


 
They are slippery. I've noticed they don't amend the arrival time and then the train sits on the platform for ages too.

Was about 15 mins late arriving today, which resulted in getting to work at 5 past 9.

Who do I complain to? Southern, or Thameslink?


----------



## Dan U (Oct 25, 2012)

Onket said:


> They are slippery. I've noticed they don't amend the arrival time and then the train sits on the platform for ages too.
> 
> Was about 15 mins late arriving today, which resulted in getting to work at 5 past 9.
> 
> Who do I complain to? Southern, or Thameslink?


 
First Capital Connect if it was their train - although it has been sanctioned by National Rail

Also, are you aware of this for when it goes properly belly up (it surely will)

http://www.southernrailway.com/your-journey/delay-repay/
http://www.firstcapitalconnect.co.uk/customer-care/delay-repay/

worth noting if you weren't aware. sometimes the guard on the train will remind people to claim if Southern has turned in to a big clusterfuck, but sometimes they don't.


----------



## Onket (Oct 25, 2012)

Cheers.

So there's basically nothing I can do unless the 30 min barrier is breached.

Good to hear Santino will be ok with his delayed journey between Swindon & Bristol. As will Kabbes, apparently travelling north of the border.


----------



## Dan U (Oct 25, 2012)

Onket said:


> Cheers.
> 
> So there's basically nothing I can do unless the 30 min barrier is breached.
> 
> Good to hear Santino will be ok with his delayed journey between Swindon & Bristol. As will Kabbes, apparently travelling north of the border.


 
essentially, yes. years of commuting on trains has taught me just to seethe quietly in to my newspaper.

i reckon you'll get the 30 minute refund about once a fortnight if you are on the case though.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 25, 2012)

Onket said:


> Cheers.
> 
> So there's basically nothing I can do unless the 30 min barrier is breached.
> 
> Good to hear Santino will be ok with his delayed journey between Swindon & Bristol. As will Kabbes, apparently travelling north of the border.


It's OK, I'm not travelling north of the border.  I'm just providing a helpful service.


----------



## Onket (Oct 25, 2012)

kabbes said:


> It's OK, I'm not travelling north of the border. I'm just providing a helpful service.


 
Ah, you've posted on the wrong thread. Easy mistake to make, I spose.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 25, 2012)

I have never made a mistake in my _life_.


----------



## Onket (Oct 25, 2012)

I'm sorry to have to point out this one. Hope you're ok.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 25, 2012)

Are you getting used to it @Onket?


----------



## Onket (Oct 25, 2012)

I said I'd be very tired by Thursday, and I am.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 25, 2012)

Onket said:


> I said I'd be very tired by Thursday, and I am.


----------



## Dan U (Oct 31, 2012)

Onket said:


> Starts Monday.....


 
how was it today?

@onket


----------



## Badgers (Oct 31, 2012)

Maybe @Onket is taking the day off?


----------



## Santino (Oct 31, 2012)

Central Line all bollocksed up this morning.


----------



## Onket (Oct 31, 2012)

Can't remember if there was a delay on the trains today. If there was it was only a couple of minutes.

Real Ale Festival in Wetherspoons, btw.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 31, 2012)

Trains from Waterloo all totally fucked. All of them. I've restricted my losses to 35 minutes by hotfooting to Victoria and picking up a train from there instead.


----------



## quimcunx (Oct 31, 2012)

I got on the wrong northern line on Monday.  That's a whole half hour added to the journey right there.  Yesterday things just didn't go my way and today both the bus driver and london underground failed to make up for me leaving the house late.


----------



## Santino (Oct 31, 2012)

Yesterday afternoon trains out of Paddington were delayed by up to an hour. I took the District Line instead.


----------



## Onket (Oct 31, 2012)

I was home by half five this evening. 

Left work at quarter past three.


----------



## 19sixtysix (Oct 31, 2012)

Bought a monthly paper ticket yesterday and forgot this morning slapping my oyster card down


----------



## Stanley Edwards (Oct 31, 2012)

My worst commute was whilst living in Brighton and working in London. Initially working right above Victoria station. This wasn't so bad. 2 hours max door to door.

Then I moved work to Greenford, West London. My commute went early train from Brighton to Victoria, Circle line to Notting Hill, Central line to Ealing, train to Greenford. That was bad. Really bad. It then got worse.

Landslides near Haywards Heath meant all trains were diverted via Lewes adding a good 40 minutes.

My commute turned into 4 and a half hours each way on bad days. On top of this I was in a very bad relationship. I finally lost the plot one Friday evening. Convinced I was actually going to get back to Brighton before closing time and enjoy a bit of social life, the train was approaching Haywards Heath. _Just 10 more minutes_ I was thinking, when the train stopped and we told the remainder of the journey would be on a double decker bus trudging around country lanes. I sulked. Smoked spliff on the back seat of the upper deck moaning like a teenage twat. Then the bus stopped and ordered everyone to get on another bus. An hour had passed since the train. We had ventured about 5 Miles in the right direction. I lost the plot completely. Like in a way I came close to being sectioned.

5am starts. Get home at 10.30pm if lucky. I might as well have been getting a train to Gatwick and flying to NY everyday.

I am so glad I don't commute anymore. Biggest waste of my life there ever was. I feel for Onket and others.


----------



## Santino (Nov 1, 2012)

Central Line fine this morning.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 1, 2012)

Waterloo was operating at normal capacity.  Waterloo & City fine, although we had to endure bagpipes whilst waiting for the train.


----------



## Santino (Nov 1, 2012)

All other Underground lines are currently operating bagpipe-free.


----------



## Santino (Nov 1, 2012)

Journeys between Great Malvern and Hereford are being delayed by up to 30 minutes


----------



## wiskey (Nov 1, 2012)

It has just taken me longer to get from Paddington Stn to Brixton Hill than it did getting from Bristol to Paddington


----------



## kabbes (Nov 2, 2012)

Friday is always quiet. Half term too means extra quiet on the train this morning.


----------



## Santino (Nov 2, 2012)

kabbes said:


> Friday is always quiet. Half term too means extra quiet on the train this morning.


My bus was quiet but the Tube was ordinarily crowded.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 2, 2012)

Santino said:


> My bus was quiet but the Tube was ordinarily crowded.


Yeah, I had the same experience.

I actually meant that Friday is always quiet on the train rather than the tube.  I should have been more clear.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Nov 2, 2012)

wiskey said:


> It has just taken me longer to get from Paddington Stn to Brixton Hill than it did getting from Bristol to Paddington



Yeah, I have to go from South Norwood to Bristol twice a week. There's at least one suicide delaying trains a week. This week, on Tuesday, there was one on the way out and one on the way back. I spent 7 hours on the train for 2 hours of meetings.


----------



## Dan U (Nov 2, 2012)

i'm working at home today

the 2 days i did commute were mild/moderately irritating


----------



## Onket (Nov 2, 2012)

ChrisFilter said:


> Yeah, I have to go from South Norwood to Bristol twice a week. There's at least one suicide delaying trains a week. This week, on Tuesday, there was one on the way out and one on the way back. I spent 7 hours on the train *for 2 hours of meetings*.


 
That's not so bad. Imagine if you had to be there at 9am and couldn't leave until 5pm.


----------



## marty21 (Nov 2, 2012)

@Onket

how long are you doing this bastard commute ? is it a temporary thing or is it until the end of time ?


----------



## Onket (Nov 2, 2012)

marty21 said:


> how long are you doing this bastard commute ? is it a temporary thing or is it until the end of time ?


 
Until I either get home working agreed, or find another job.



marty21 said:


> @Onket


 
Not funny. You, Badgers & Dan U are better than that, really.


----------



## marty21 (Nov 2, 2012)

Onket said:


> Until I either get home working agreed, or find another job.
> 
> 
> 
> Not funny. You, Badgers & Dan U are better than that, really.


----------



## Onket (Nov 2, 2012)

@editor


----------



## SpookyFrank (Nov 2, 2012)

ChrisFilter said:


> Yeah, I have to go from South Norwood to Bristol twice a week. There's at least one suicide delaying trains a week. This week, on Tuesday, there was one on the way out and one on the way back.* I spent 7 hours on the train for 2 hours of meetings.*


 
The bit in bold and the frequency of suicides might not be unrelated.


----------



## Onket (Nov 16, 2012)

Dan U said:


> First Capital Connect if it was their train - although it has been sanctioned by National Rail
> 
> Also, are you aware of this for when it goes properly belly up (it surely will)
> 
> ...


 
Cheers for this.


----------



## Onket (Nov 16, 2012)

> *Please ensure that you've scanned in your tickets before using this form and that your scanned images are no more than 1 megabyte each.*


 
Where the fuck do I scan them?!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Onket (Nov 16, 2012)

Ah, 'scanned', not 'uploaded'.

Test case submitted.


----------



## Dan U (Nov 16, 2012)

told you you would need it at some point mate! glad to be of help


----------



## Onket (Nov 16, 2012)

Managed to fuck it up, I think.


----------



## zenie (Nov 16, 2012)

Dan U said:


> i'm working at home today
> 
> the 2 days i did commute were mild/moderately irritating



I am so glad I don't commute anymore 

Saying that I drove for about four hours today, all within the M25 too


----------



## Roadkill (Nov 21, 2012)

Were I posting a few weeks ago I could have lunched into an epic rant about First group and how they've fucked up Hull Trains with their unreliable Adelante DMUs. A couple of weeks ago there were endless cancellations, and although the arrangements for alternative trains worked well they meant a half-hour delay, which when you're getting in at 11pm is not welcome, especially when it means you miss the last bus home and have to walk or get a taxi. However, the problems seem to have been fixed now, and after a strongly worded letter about the disruption I've had a refund to the tune of £80 as well. 

My only rant about today's commute - and I'm posting from the train now - is that some fucker in this carriage keeps farting!


----------



## Onket (Nov 22, 2012)

It's grim up north.


----------



## Roadkill (Nov 22, 2012)

No it isn't.


----------



## Onket (Dec 3, 2012)

Signal failure in Gatwick Airport are. Huge delays. At least it wasn't raining when I cycled to the station at half 6.


----------



## zenie (Dec 3, 2012)

Onket said:


> Signal failure in Gatwick Airport are. Huge delays. At least it wasn't raining when I cycled to the station at half 6.



Do you have to make the time up?


----------



## Onket (Dec 3, 2012)

Fuck em.


----------



## Onket (Dec 4, 2012)

Onket said:


> Ah, 'scanned', not 'uploaded'.
> 
> Test case submitted.


 
£7.60 refund waiting for me at home yesterday. Need to get all the other one submitted now!


----------



## Onket (Dec 10, 2012)

Put in 5 more 'delay repay' applications yesterday. I think there's about 3 more yet to do.


----------



## Greebo (Dec 10, 2012)

Onket said:


> Put in 5 more 'delay repay' applications yesterday. I think there's about 3 more yet to do.


Nice little earner; shame you get delayed that badly and that often though.


----------



## Dan U (Dec 10, 2012)

i want my cut


----------



## Onket (Dec 10, 2012)

Greebo said:


> Nice little earner; shame you get delayed that badly and that often though.



Yeah. Not much of a return though. Certainly not enough to give Dan U any.


----------



## Greebo (Dec 10, 2012)

Onket said:


> Yeah. Not much of a return though. Certainly not enough to give Dan U any.


Make him sit on his own badly delayed train!


----------



## Onket (Dec 10, 2012)

It's all his fault.


----------



## Roadkill (Dec 17, 2012)

Good luck if you're travelling from Kings Cross this evening: the overhead wires are down. My train got caught at the start of the problem, diverted onto the slow line and arrived twelve minutes late at Doncaster. My connection time to Hull was ten minutes. Bollocks.

edit - problem seems to be resolved now, and since the next train is faster than the one I was meant to get I'll only be home twenty minutes later...


----------



## Onket (Jan 2, 2013)

Back today for the first time since the 10th Dec.

Got a total of £26.60 vouchers back from Southern for delayed trains. Probably about enough to cover the fare increase.


----------



## Onket (Jan 17, 2013)

Train on fire at Victoria, apparently. No real delays so far on my trains.


----------



## Dan U (Jan 17, 2013)

Onket said:


> Train on fire at Victoria, apparently. No real delays so far on my trains.



It's out and back open although some platforms are closed still.


----------



## Onket (Jan 17, 2013)

Train I am on now has double the number of people on it. Must have been a cancellation somewhere.


----------



## Dan U (Jan 17, 2013)

Onket said:


> Train I am on now has double the number of people on it. Must have been a cancellation somewhere.


 
they were diverting all trains away from Vic earlier and cancelling loads.

I know you don't really do 'social media' but following stuff like

https://twitter.com/SouthernRailUK
https://twitter.com/NRE_Southern

can be useful. you can also send them messages asking about why your particular train is fucked and really stress them out.


----------



## Onket (Jan 17, 2013)

Nah, you're ok thanks. I've never been able to get twitter to seem to work.


----------



## Dan U (Jan 17, 2013)

Onket

you might want to read this.

http://www.southernrailway.com/your-journey/plan-my-journey/temporary-timetable-b

also anyone who uses SW Trains, they are doing the same tomorrow.


----------



## Onket (Jan 17, 2013)

Cheers.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 17, 2013)

Just caught the announcement on the way home.  I think tomorrow is a Working From Home day!


----------



## Onket (Jan 18, 2013)

Snow.


----------



## el-ahrairah (Jan 18, 2013)

i came in from surbiton this morning, took me nearly an hour longer what with the twenty minutes of queuing at vauxhall.  where do all the people come from?  where are they normally that they all show up on a snow day.


----------



## Onket (Jan 21, 2013)

No trains between Hove & Haywards Heath. Problems. People are fucking loving it. What is it about stuff like this that perks people up? It's half seven in the morning, freezing, and you've been stood on the train platform going nowhere for an hour. Idiots.


----------



## TitanSound (Jan 21, 2013)

Onket said:


> No trains between Hove & Haywards Heath. Problems. People are fucking loving it. What is it about stuff like this that perks people up? It's half seven in the morning, freezing, and you've been stood on the train platform going nowhere for an hour. Idiots.


 
Because they were straight on the phone telling their bosses to fuck off


----------



## Onket (Jan 21, 2013)

No, they were waiting an hour in the freezing cold to go in!


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 21, 2013)

Easier than usual to get in today and the added bonus of fewer cyclists


----------



## Yelkcub (Jan 21, 2013)

Pickman's model said:


> Easier than usual to get in today


 
This - North London to Essex (near Southend) on clear, empty-ish roads.

My Facebook feed was full of local teachers I know celebrating a 'snow day'. I'd be fuming if my boy was here and of school age yet!


----------



## baldrick (Jan 21, 2013)

it's not teachers' fault the school is shut.  why shouldn't they feel pleased they don't have to go in?


----------



## Onket (Feb 6, 2013)

Dan U said:


> First Capital Connect if it was their train - although it has been sanctioned by National Rail
> 
> Also, are you aware of this for when it goes properly belly up (it surely will)
> 
> ...


 
Just spend about 20 mins looking for this post, so I'm quoting it here.


----------



## kabbes (Feb 6, 2013)

Utter clusterfuck this morning.  Signal problems between Clapham and Waterloo.  You can imagine the chaos.


----------



## Onket (Feb 6, 2013)

Heard them apolgosing at Clapham Junction today as I was leaving London.


----------



## Dan U (Feb 7, 2013)

Onket said:


> Just spend about 20 mins looking for this post, so I'm quoting it here.


 
how much you reclaimed now mate?

wheres my cut


----------



## Onket (Feb 7, 2013)

Sent 13 requests from January in yesterday afternoon. Train delayed an hour and a half outside Clapham Junction today.


----------



## Dan U (Feb 7, 2013)

Wow. That is fucking savage. 

Work reconsidered working from home yet?!


----------



## Onket (Feb 7, 2013)

Ha!


----------



## Santino (Apr 9, 2013)

Fine this morning.


----------



## pogofish (May 7, 2013)

Couldn't even get out of the house thanks to a loco stuck in rush hour traffic!


----------



## kabbes (May 7, 2013)

Trains to Dorking cancelled on the return commute for the second time in a week.  Wow, love that railway "service".  Well worth the £3,500 a year I have to pay.


----------



## Dan U (May 7, 2013)

kabbes said:


> Trains to Dorking cancelled on the return commute for the second time in a week.  Wow, love that railway "service".  Well worth the £3,500 a year I have to pay.



Redhill - Deepdene?


----------



## kabbes (May 7, 2013)

Dan U said:


> Redhill - Deepdene?


That's exactly what I did.  Although you missed out "Clapham" in that list.  At least I didn't have to do Waterloo - Clapham - East Croydon - Redhill - Deepdene, which I have had to do in the past.


----------



## kabbes (May 7, 2013)

Also, I'm not sure that my ticket technically covers that route.  Because obviously I care about the route more than the destination.


----------



## Dan U (May 8, 2013)

kabbes said:


> Also, I'm not sure that my ticket technically covers that route. Because obviously I care about the route more than the destination.


 
it might you know, my Reigate/All Travelcard Zones ticket says 'via any reasonable route' or whatever the phrase is. If i get off at Betchworth on the way home they don't bat an eyelid if they check my ticket after Reigate.


----------



## kabbes (May 8, 2013)

Dan U said:


> it might you know, my Reigate/All Travelcard Zones ticket says 'via any reasonable route' or whatever the phrase is. If i get off at Betchworth on the way home they don't bat an eyelid if they check my ticket after Reigate.


I've never been challenged and if I ever am, I'll go mental at them if I'm doing it because of a cancelled train.

But it actually says "any permitted route", not "any reasonable route" (which is totally unhelpful).  And on an online ticket site, I was once given an option of two tickets, one of which was specifically SouthWestern (or something like that) and the other had more flexibility... but I don't know which of these the standard ticket out of the machine is.


----------



## Onket (Jun 7, 2013)

I've managed to get 3 days a week remote working out of my employer, so that's good news. Also, massive thanks to Dan U for tipping me off about this-

http://rinse.fm/artists/uncledugs/ 

One show pretty much covers a day's travel. Excellent stuff.

Also, Paul Gadd was on my train the other day. On at Clapham Junction, off at Gatwick.


----------



## Onket (Sep 17, 2013)

Forgot me headphones.    :etc:


----------



## Badgers (Sep 17, 2013)

Onket said:
			
		

> Forgot me headphones.    :etc:



The rest of the carriage are happy


----------



## 19sixtysix (Sep 17, 2013)

Badgers said:


> The rest of the carriage are happy



 Precisely. We get the new quiet trains sometimes and can I appreciate the silence no, cause some cunt with apple head phones is spraying their shit music all over the carriage.


----------



## 19sixtysix (Sep 17, 2013)

pogofish said:


> Couldn't even get out of the house thanks to a loco stuck in rush hour traffic!



Pictures you telling the boss that you were delayed due the wrong sort of train on your driveway.


----------



## Onket (Sep 17, 2013)

I bought some in the ear ones from TK Maxx. They are good for me but there is definitely some leakage.Thought this might be a good time to get some over the head ones but the last pair I bought were gash and as a rule they aint cheap.



19sixtysix said:


> Precisely. We get the new quiet trains sometimes and can I appreciate the silence no, cause some cunt with apple head phones is spraying their shit music all over the carriage.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 17, 2013)

All trains direct to London cancelled from Dorking this morning.  Had to travel round to Redhill and go in from there instead.


----------



## _pH_ (Sep 17, 2013)

kabbes said:


> All trains direct to London cancelled from Dorking this morning.  Had to travel round to Redhill and go in from there instead.


Why was that?


----------



## kabbes (Sep 17, 2013)

_pH_ said:


> Why was that?


Don't know.  The message was up that there were no trains between Horsham and Leatherhead -- that's all we were told.


----------



## Dan U (Sep 17, 2013)

kabbes said:


> Don't know.  The message was up that there were no trains between Horsham and Leatherhead -- that's all we were told.



signalling problems at Dorking according to the Southern Railway twitter feed.


----------



## _pH_ (Sep 17, 2013)

Dan U said:


> signalling problems at Dorking according to the Southern Railway twitter feed.


Signaller overslept perhaps


----------



## kabbes (Sep 17, 2013)




----------



## _pH_ (Sep 17, 2013)

Well I suppose it's possible - Dorking box controls everything from Box Hill/Mickleham tunnel to nearly as far as Horsham (I think - I don't go any further south than Dorking) so if the signaller called in sick or something and it took a while to get a relief signaller there they might not be able to run anything.

(Don't know for definite that's what happened, just speculating).


----------



## kabbes (Sep 17, 2013)

Whatever caused it, it resulted in lots of pissed off people and an overcrowded Redhill - London Bridge train!


----------



## Dan U (Sep 17, 2013)

at least the GWR train turned up at Deepdene, that is a pretty shoddy service at the best of times.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 17, 2013)

Dan U said:


> at least the GWR train turned up at Deepdene, that is a pretty shoddy service at the best of times.


Never seen the Deepdene platform so full.  If it hadn't turned up, there would have been blood on the tracks.


----------



## jakejb79 (Sep 19, 2013)

One thing that really annoys me is how people don't bother to move inside the train.

Whatever line you use people huddle around the doors then just stare when you move into the actual space standing by the seats.


----------



## Onket (Sep 19, 2013)

The thing that really annoys me is those people who sit down next to you and then pull down the arm rest. Wankers.

I have started putting my arm all over the arm rest as soon as they pull it down.


----------



## Me76 (Sep 20, 2013)

jakejb79 said:


> One thing that really annoys me is how people don't bother to move inside the train.
> 
> Whatever line you use people huddle around the doors then just stare when you move into the actual space standing by the seats.


Last night I got on a train where there were clearly three seats free at the back of the carriage but everyone was by the doors. There were two people in the corridor towards the empty seats who looked at me like I wanted to eat their children when I said excuse me to get past them.  I sat down and suddenly they thought they would too. 

No idea what goes through these people's brains.


----------



## equationgirl (Sep 20, 2013)

Me76 said:


> Last night I got on a train where there were clearly three seats free at the back of the carriage but everyone was by the doors. There were two people in the corridor towards the empty seats who looked at me like I wanted to eat their children when I said excuse me to get past them.  I sat down and suddenly they thought they would too.
> 
> No idea what goes through these people's brains.


A true example of the sheeple.


----------



## equationgirl (Sep 20, 2013)

jakejb79 said:


> One thing that really annoys me is how people don't bother to move inside the train.
> 
> Whatever line you use people huddle around the doors then just stare when you move into the actual space standing by the seats.


The students have just gone back here and have not yet got the hang of doing this. Also when a train pulls in they don't seem to understand that people get off the first, and that crowding round the doors on the platform stops this from happening. Fuckwits.


----------



## yield (Sep 20, 2013)

equationgirl said:


> A true example of the sheeple.


----------



## Santino (Mar 20, 2014)

No problems today.


----------



## Belushi (Mar 20, 2014)

I spent years suffering long commutes from South London. Nowadays it's four stops on the tube and a ten minute walk through Bloomsbury :thumbs :


----------



## gabi (Mar 20, 2014)

My office is 4 minutes walk from my flat. And I'm still late for work. Every. Single. Day.

I wake at 8.20, shower while listening to the weird midnight phone ins on 5 live from the UK, dress, and stagger down the road. Usually to filthy looks from my uptight fucking colleagues.


----------



## Onket (Mar 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> The thing that really annoys me is those people who sit down next to you and then pull down the arm rest. Wankers.
> 
> I have started putting my arm all over the arm rest as soon as they pull it down.


I have now started refusing people permission to pull the arm rest down.

Cheers for the thread bump, Santino.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> I have now started refusing people permission to pull the arm rest down.
> 
> Cheers for the thread bump, Santino.


I always pull down the arm rest, and normal people don't have a problem with that.


----------



## Onket (Mar 20, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I always pull down the arm rest, and normal people don't have a problem with that.


The next man with a beard who says "no" when you ask, that might be me.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 20, 2014)

SouthWestern trains are too crammed in to have room for armrests


----------



## eatmorecheese (Mar 20, 2014)

Trying to get on a bus from West Croydon at school kick-out time is like a re-enactment of the last chopper from the embassy roof out of Saigon


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> The next man with a beard who says "no" when you ask, that might be me.



I don't ask, I just do it.  The arm rest is there to rest arms.  Which it can't do in the upright position.


----------



## Onket (Mar 20, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I don't ask, I just do it.


I don't believe you.

No-one has ever moved the arm rest next to me without asking beforehand.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> I don't believe you.
> 
> No-one has ever moved the arm rest next to me without asking beforehand.



Must be a weird southern thing.


----------



## Onket (Mar 20, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Must be a weird southern thing.


What, manners?


----------



## tommers (Mar 20, 2014)

I move the arm rest?   But I spend about 3 1/2 to 4 hours a day on public transport so I make myself at home. 

I also shit in the toilets.


----------



## boohoo (Mar 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> I don't believe you.
> 
> No-one has ever moved the arm rest next to me without asking beforehand.



that's cos you look scary and now with the beard - extra scare.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 20, 2014)

boohoo said:


> that's cos you look scary and now with the beard - extra scare.


That and the can of cider. Subliminal signals.


----------



## Onket (Mar 20, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> That and the can of cider. Subliminal signals.


I don't often drink cider in the morning, tbf.


----------



## mango5 (Mar 20, 2014)

kabbes said:


> SouthWestern trains are too crammed in to have room for armrests


I do a 5 hour round trip commute on Southwest trains twice a week on average (Weymouth line into Waterloo) and reckon 90% of those journeys are in carriages with armrests. I don't travel first class and always get a seat


----------



## kabbes (Mar 20, 2014)

Wtf is all I can say to that. The standard commuter lines are well shit


----------



## Onket (Mar 20, 2014)

I use Southern and they are a mixture. The two seat wide areas have arm rests but the sardine 3 seats wide sections don't.

I favour the 2 seater area on the way in and the 3 seater area on the way home.


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> What, manners?



For those of us who don't have your social issues, can you explain just what your problem is with use of the armrest?  Somebody using a piece of the furnishings for the purpose they're there for doesn't seem like an unreasonable act.  Do you get similarly aggrieved if people put bags in the luggage area without asking your permission first?


----------



## tommers (Mar 21, 2014)

Yeah Onket.  What's your problem?


----------



## Dan U (Mar 21, 2014)

tommers said:


> Yeah Onket.  What's your problem?



How long have you got


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

Lemon Eddy said:


> For those of us who don't have your social issues, can you explain just what your problem is with use of the armrest?  Somebody using a piece of the furnishings for the purpose they're there for doesn't seem like an unreasonable act.  Do you get similarly aggrieved if people put bags in the luggage area without asking your permission first?


Calm down, it's only an arm rest!

Expecting someone to have basic manners is me having 'Social issues' now?


----------



## marty21 (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> I use Southern and they are a mixture. The two seat wide areas have arm rests but the sardine 3 seats wide sections don't.
> 
> I favour the 2 seater area on the way in and the 3 seater area on the way home.


 I had a tussle with a bloke on the overground yesterday, my arm was already resting on the arm rest, and he wanted some of it  - so we were shifting our arms a lot, but neither of us gave way, or spoke or looked at eachother


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

marty21 said:


> I had a tussle with a bloke on the overground yesterday, my arm was already resting on the arm rest, and he wanted some of it  - so we were shifting our arms a lot, but neither of us gave way, or spoke or looked at eachother



For those of us who don't have your social issues, can you explain just what your problem is with use of the armrest?  Somebody using a piece of the furnishings for the purpose they're there for doesn't seem like an unreasonable act.  Do you get similarly aggrieved if people put bags in the luggage area without asking your permission first?

Etc.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> For those of us who don't have your social issues, can you explain just what your problem is with use of the armrest?  Somebody using a piece of the furnishings for the purpose they're there for doesn't seem like an unreasonable act.  Do you get similarly aggrieved if people put bags in the luggage area without asking your permission first?
> 
> Etc.


 my arm was on the arm rest first   surely that gives me the temporary use of it ?

I have little interest in luggage areas


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

marty21 said:


> my arm was on the arm rest first   surely that gives me the temporary use of it ?
> 
> I have little interest in luggage areas


I would say the person who was there first has control unless asked. 

But I apparently have 'social issues' so perhaps Lemon Eddy could explain what normal people think.


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> Calm down, it's only an arm rest!
> 
> Expecting someone to have basic manners is me having 'Social issues' now?



Which doesn't answer, in any way at all, just why you feel it's wrong of them to use the arm rest.


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> But I apparently have 'social issues' so perhaps Lemon Eddy could explain what normal people think.


Normal people think that you have social issues.  hth.


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

Lemon Eddy said:


> Which doesn't answer, in any way at all, just why you feel it's wrong of them to use the arm rest.


I'm not a fan of people ramming the arm rest down onto my shoulder, or slowly lowering it and trying to push me out of the way.

Perhaps normal people like you are fine with that.


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

Lemon Eddy said:


> Normal people think that you have social issues.  hth.


Discussed that at your last meeting with them, I presume. The same one they elected you as their mouthpiece.


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> Discussed that at your last meeting with them, I presume. The same one they elected you as their mouthpiece.



Actually, it was you who put me forward for that role.  You know, when you said "perhaps Lemon Eddy could explain what normal people think."


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

Lemon Eddy said:


> Actually, it was you who put me forward for that role.  You know, when you said "perhaps Lemon Eddy could explain what normal people think."


Fair point. 

You have simply explained what you think normal people think, though.

Perhaps you should have that meeting.


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> Fair point.
> 
> You have simply explained what you think normal people think, though.
> 
> Perhaps you should have that meeting.



Alas, if only you had considered this before putting me forward for the role.  As it is though I can but do my humble best to fulfil the obligation you have given, and give my belief as to what normal people think on this issue.  Which, in case I've not been clear, would be "What's wrong with using a bloody armrest, are you some sort of nutter?"


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

I've already answered.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 21, 2014)

The armrests on the London Overground are already down - they can't be moved up or down.


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

marty21 said:


> The armrests on the London Overground are already down - they can't be moved up or down.


You'll have to explain your incident to Lemon Eddy, then.


----------



## Santino (Mar 21, 2014)

No issues with my journey this morning.


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

Thank heavens for that, Santino.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 21, 2014)

no issues with my journey either - was able to get a seat on both the Chingford to Liverpool Street train (no arm rests) and the Metropolitan line (arm rests but no arm rest issues)


----------



## plurker (Mar 21, 2014)

Santino said:


> No issues with my journey this morning.


Is there a thread better suited to you, perhaps?


----------



## Santino (Mar 21, 2014)

plurker said:


> Is there a thread better suited to you, perhaps?


And expect people to check two different threads to see how my commute was?


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> I'm not a fan of people ramming the arm rest down onto my shoulder, or slowly lowering it and trying to push me out of the way.



The armrest exists between the seats.  For the arm rest to hit your shoulder, you would have to be spreading out of your seat.  In short, people might be keen to get that small bit of plastic down to stop you pressing up against them.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 21, 2014)

Lemon Eddy said:


> The armrest exists between the seats.  For the arm rest to hit your shoulder, you would have to be spreading out of your seat.  In short, people might be keen to get that small bit of plastic down to stop you pressing up against them.


Onket is a big lad but I think he does fit a train seat perfectly well without infringing on any other seats


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 21, 2014)

marty21 said:


> Onket is a big lad but I think he does fit a train seat perfectly well without infringing on any other seats



In which case the seat rest shouldn't "ram down" into his shoulder, and all will be happy.  Splendid.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 21, 2014)

Onket said:


> I'm not a fan of people ramming the arm rest down onto my shoulder, or slowly lowering it and trying to push me out of the way.
> 
> Perhaps normal people like you are fine with that.


Prepares to stalk Onket and torment him with armrests.


----------



## Onket (Mar 21, 2014)

I love the way other people think they know how I fit on a seat, better than I do. Only on the Internet!


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 22, 2014)

Onket said:


> I love the way other people think they know how I fit on a seat



Fortunately you describe it for us:



Onket said:


> I'm not a fan of people ramming the arm rest down onto my shoulder


----------



## Onket (Mar 22, 2014)

Lemon Eddy said:


> Fortunately you describe it for us:


Yes.

But you and Marty both said I fit on a seat perfectly well.


----------



## Onket (Mar 22, 2014)

Lemon Eddy said:


> The armrest exists between the seats.  For the arm rest to hit your shoulder, you would have to be spreading out of your seat.  In short, people might be keen to get that small bit of plastic down to stop you pressing up against them.





marty21 said:


> Onket is a big lad but I think he does fit a train seat perfectly well without infringing on any other seats





Lemon Eddy said:


> In which case the seat rest shouldn't "ram down" into his shoulder, and all will be happy.  Splendid.



Oh dear.


----------



## _pH_ (Mar 22, 2014)

I like how Onket makes his fucking nightmare of a bastard commute more of a fucking nightmare by arguing about it on the internet.


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Mar 22, 2014)

The secret of Vancouver commuting is, only ride on blue trains. The seats on white trains are too close together, and altogether not comfortable.


----------



## Onket (Mar 22, 2014)

_pH_ said:


> I like how Onket makes his fucking nightmare of a bastard commute more of a fucking nightmare by arguing about it on the internet.


This isn't arguing, I'm pointing out that someone is wrong. And it's not anywhere near a 'fucking nightmare' to do that.


----------



## Onket (Mar 22, 2014)

Johnny Canuck3 said:


> The secret of Vancouver commuting is, only ride on blue trains. The seats on white trains are too close together, and altogether not comfortable.


Awaits Lemon Eddy telling you the seats aren't too close together.


----------



## _pH_ (Mar 22, 2014)

Onket said:


> This isn't arguing, I'm pointing out that someone is wrong. And it's not anywhere near a 'fucking nightmare' to do that.


STOP ARGUING!


----------



## Onket (Mar 22, 2014)

_pH_ said:


> STOP ARGUING!


Shan't.


----------



## _pH_ (Mar 22, 2014)

Onket said:


> Shan't.


I didn't think you would. Because you are being argumentative.


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Mar 22, 2014)

Onket said:


> Awaits Lemon Eddy telling you the seats aren't too close together.



I judge by what happens to my knees.


----------



## Onket (Mar 22, 2014)

_pH_ said:


> I didn't think you would. Because you are being argumentative.



I am setting the record straight. 



Johnny Canuck3 said:


> I judge by what happens to my knees.



Maybe knees trump shoulders. I wouldn't know. I believe you.


----------



## Johnny Canuck3 (Mar 22, 2014)

Onket said:


> I am setting the record straight.
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe knees trump shoulders. I wouldn't know. I believe you.



The space between seats, back to front on white trains, isn't sufficient for my long legs. I have to sit with my knees out into the aisle, where they can be bumped into by the unobservant and the inebriated.

None of this applies on blue trains.


----------



## Santino (Mar 22, 2014)

I didn't go to work today.


----------



## Onket (Mar 25, 2014)

First day back in the office today, after about10 days. It's raining. Card declined at the station (suspected fraud). 

Touch my arm rest and I'll fucking kill you.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 25, 2014)

Onket said:


> First day back in the office today, after about10 days. It's raining. Card declined at the station (suspected fraud).
> 
> Touch my arm rest and I'll fucking kill you.



'scuse me mate, do you mind if I put the arm rest down?


----------



## fishfinger (Mar 25, 2014)

Onket said:


> First day back in the office today, after about10 days. It's raining. Card declined at the station (suspected fraud).
> 
> Touch my arm rest and I'll fucking kill you.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 25, 2014)

fishfinger said:


> View attachment 50852


 guaranteed a seat on his own - if he ever gets out of the nick


----------



## fishfinger (Mar 25, 2014)

marty21 said:


> guaranteed a seat on his own - if he ever gets out of the nick


He'd probably get the whole carriage to himself, and then pick it up and throw it at anyone who disagreed with him.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 25, 2014)

I need to know how Santino's commute was.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 25, 2014)

kabbes said:


> I need to know how Santino's commute was.


 maybe he is still on it - in which case, it is likely to be a fucking nightmare of a bastard one


----------



## Onket (Mar 25, 2014)

kabbes said:


> I need to know how Santino's commute was.


I'm genuinely worried about Santino. He's usually so thoughtful and bumps the thread to let us know.

Hope he's ok.


----------



## Santino (Mar 25, 2014)

Very minor delays on the Underground but I took an alternative route and was at work on time. Because it was my back-up route, I didn't go past Waitrose and therefore haven't yet availed myself of a free coffee this morning.


----------



## Onket (Mar 25, 2014)

Thank the Lord above.


----------



## tommers (Mar 25, 2014)

Onket said:


> First day back in the office today, after about10 days. It's raining. Card declined at the station (suspected fraud).
> 
> Touch my arm rest and I'll fucking kill you.



There aren't arm rests on those trains.


----------



## Onket (Mar 25, 2014)

tommers said:


> There aren't arm rests on those trains.


Yes there are. The moveable one is in that gap behind my shoulder.


----------



## _pH_ (Mar 25, 2014)

Onket said:


> Yes there are. The moveable one is in that gap behind my shoulder.


Being argumentative again.

Though you are right to be fair.


----------



## Onket (Mar 25, 2014)

_pH_ said:


> Though you are right to be fair.


As usual.


----------



## zenie (Mar 25, 2014)

Well this has given me a chuckle, thanks Onket don't ever change 

I don't commute


----------



## tommers (Mar 25, 2014)

Onket said:


> Yes there are. The moveable one is in that gap behind my shoulder.



Oh yeah.  It doesn't look new enough.  I'm a twat.


----------



## Onket (Mar 25, 2014)

Nah, easy mistake to make.


----------



## Lemon Eddy (Mar 26, 2014)

Onket said:


>



See the way your elbow's across into the other seat.  That's why people are putting an arm rest between you.

Ta for the photo though.  Will make sure if I'm ever commuting in the south to look out for a vaguely angry looking, thinner version of Phil Jupitus, and should I find one plonk my arse down and immediately get the arm rest out.  Instant comedy.


----------



## Onket (Mar 26, 2014)

I didn't realise you are partially sighted,  Lemon Eddy. I apologe for taking the piss before.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 26, 2014)

Bit of a bastard commute today - go to work hopefully with no delays - come home - hopefully with no delays - then go out again at about 7 to go to a meeting about an hour away - hopefully with no delays - leave the meeting at about 9 - hopefully  with no delays - and come home again - hopefully with no delays   there is a big potential for delays


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 26, 2014)

I'm on my fourth train this morning - a ridiculous journey that has taken two and a half hours so far. I'm on a train in the Midlands and it has slam doors.  It's like being back in the stone age - haven't they heard of electric doors in the Midlands?


----------



## Onket (Mar 26, 2014)

What about Santino?


----------



## zenie (Mar 26, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I'm on my fourth train this morning - a ridiculous journey that has taken two and a half hours so far. I'm on a train in the Midlands and it has slam doors.  It's like being back in the stone age - haven't they heard of electric doors in the Midlands?




Oooh I miss those doors!!! Danger!!! 

You might find the remains of a smoking carriages and proper slidey door 1st class compartment


----------



## Onket (Mar 26, 2014)

zenie said:


> Oooh I miss those doors!!! Danger!!!
> 
> You might find the remains of a snojibg carrriafe and proper slidey door 1st class compartment


I miss those snojibg carriafes.


----------



## zenie (Mar 26, 2014)

Onket said:


> I miss those snojibg carriafes.



Ooops smoking carriages


----------



## fishfinger (Mar 26, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I'm on my fourth train this morning - a ridiculous journey that has taken two and a half hours so far. I'm on a train in the Midlands and it has slam doors.  It's like being back in the stone age - haven't they heard of electric doors in the Midlands?


It is the stone age. they've only just learned how to cook mud 'til it turns into rock.


----------



## 19sixtysix (Mar 26, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I'm on my fourth train this morning - a ridiculous journey that has taken two and a half hours so far. I'm on a train in the Midlands and it has slam doors.  It's like being back in the stone age - haven't they heard of electric doors in the Midlands?



Great doors. They have an occasional habit of removing people on insist on pushing in front on the platform.


----------



## Santino (Mar 26, 2014)

No problems today.


----------



## Onket (Mar 26, 2014)

Santino said:


> No problems today.


Excellent news.


----------



## marty21 (Mar 26, 2014)

9.00 train arrived at 9.03, apart from that, no problems so far .


----------



## Roadkill (Mar 26, 2014)

I've just left Hull on a train to London.  We've just been informed by the guard that the power lines are down at Finsbury Park and everything in and out of Kings Cross is delayed.  Fingers crossed they'll have fixed the problem by the time we get there...


----------



## co-op (Mar 26, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I'm on my fourth train this morning



Has anyone ever had a commute involving more than 4 trains? I did four for nearly a year once - only twice a week but what a bastard that was. Hove > Haywards Heath > Redhill > Guildford > some crappy little station I can't remember on the line out to Aldershot or Ash or somewhere. The only relief was that from Redhill to crappy little station the train was pretty quiet.


----------



## Roadkill (Mar 26, 2014)

co-op said:


> Has anyone ever had a commute involving more than 4 trains? I did four for nearly a year once - only twice a week but what a bastard that was. Hove > Haywards Heath > Redhill > Guildford > some crappy little station I can't remember on the line out to Aldershot or Ash or somewhere. The only relief was that from Redhill to crappy little station the train was pretty quiet.



Yes, if you include the tube.  I often do Hull-Doncaster, Doncaster-Kings Cross, Kings Cross-Bank and Bank-Greenwich.


----------



## Dan U (Mar 26, 2014)

co-op said:


> Has anyone ever had a commute involving more than 4 trains? I did four for nearly a year once - only twice a week but what a bastard that was. Hove > Haywards Heath > Redhill > Guildford > some crappy little station I can't remember on the line out to Aldershot or Ash or somewhere. The only relief was that from Redhill to crappy little station the train was pretty quiet.



it's a nice line that from Redhill to Guildford, very pretty. Service is a bit shoddy though.

my commute this morning was stressful, up two flights of stairs.


----------



## tommers (Mar 26, 2014)

I use 4 each way. Every day.   Apart from the weekends. It's a fucker.


----------



## co-op (Mar 26, 2014)

Roadkill said:


> Yes, if you include the tube.  I often do Hull-Doncaster, Doncaster-Kings Cross, Kings Cross-Bank and Bank-Greenwich.



What happened to the Hull Express?? I'm sure I used to get a direct train. It was a bit like being in Hull as soon as you got on board.


----------



## co-op (Mar 26, 2014)

Dan U said:


> it's a nice line that from Redhill to Guildford, very pretty. Service is a bit shoddy though.


 
Yes beautiful views except that First Great Western never cleaned the bloody windows so there was about an inch of grime on them. Fucking Souter bastards.


----------



## Roadkill (Mar 26, 2014)

co-op said:


> What happened to the Hull Express?? I'm sure I used to get a direct train. It was a bit like being in Hull as soon as you got on board.



You're not wrong.   I'm convinced that one of the criteria for getting a job at Hull Trains is possession of a strong Hull accent!  I use HT a lot and it's a very good service, but sometimes it works out cheaper to go as far as Doncaster on East Coast and then get a connection over to Hull.


----------



## _pH_ (Mar 26, 2014)

co-op said:


> Yes beautiful views except that First Great Western never cleaned the bloody windows so there was about an inch of grime on them. Fucking Souter bastards.


First Group isn't owned by Mr Souter, he's the boss of Stagecoach which owns South West Trains.


----------



## Onket (Mar 26, 2014)

http://www.bringbackbritishrail.org/


----------



## co-op (Mar 26, 2014)

_pH_ said:


> First Group isn't owned by Mr Souter, he's the boss of Stagecoach which owns South West Trains.



Oh well fuck him anyway, the wanker.


----------



## _pH_ (Mar 26, 2014)

co-op said:


> Oh well fuck him anyway, the wanker.


Absolutely. Homophobe. (Him, not you)


----------



## marty21 (Mar 26, 2014)

pleased to report I am back home and apart from that 3 minute delay this morning - everything else was ok


----------



## tommers (Mar 26, 2014)

marty21 said:


> pleased to report I am back home and apart from that 3 minute delay this morning - everything else was ok



Cool.   I can sleep easy now.


----------



## Onket (Mar 27, 2014)

Getting ready for tomorrow.


----------



## fishfinger (Mar 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> View attachment 50852
> Getting ready for tomorrow.


Charles Bronson will be proud


----------



## tommers (Mar 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> Getting ready for tomorrow.



Nice pearl necklace.


----------



## Onket (Mar 27, 2014)

It's the cord from some old roller blinds.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 27, 2014)

tommers said:


> Nice pearl necklace.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> Getting ready for tomorrow.


I see you've photoshopped the height markings out of that police arrest photo.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 28, 2014)

Santino?


----------



## Santino (Mar 28, 2014)

No problems. My train was actually less crowded than normal. I did at one point miss a Tube because I just didn't realise one was waiting on the platform and I could have got on it if I had walked a little quicker, but another one came along about 2 minutes later.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 28, 2014)

Excellent. No need to report for the next two days.


----------



## tommers (Mar 28, 2014)

I had to wait 15 minutes for a central line train this morning.  15 minutes! 

And then the announcer had the gall to say that there was a good service! 

“ha,  good fucking service!  I'd hate to see what a bad service is" I thought to myself.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 28, 2014)

tommers said:


> I had to wait 15 minutes for a central line train this morning.  15 minutes!
> 
> And then the announcer had the gall to say that there was a good service!
> 
> “ha,  good fucking service!  I'd hate to see what a bad service is" I thought to myself.


In the provinces that would be a great service. So stop moaning!


----------



## marty21 (Mar 28, 2014)

Bit of a wait at Liverpool Street for a metropolitan line this morning, platform was packed , I managed to get a seat when it did eventually arrive.


----------



## Roadkill (Mar 28, 2014)

I almost missed my train home last night, having stayed for one last glass of wine and a chat with someone I'd not seen at a work function. That'd have been expensive.  Thankfully everything ran smoothly on the Tube, and I got to Kings Cross with just enough time for a fag before getting the train.


----------



## tommers (Mar 28, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> In the provinces that would be a great service. So stop moaning!



On Mars they don't even have trains.


----------



## Santino (Mar 29, 2014)

kabbes said:


> Excellent. No need to report for the next two days.


Ok.


----------



## boohoo (Mar 31, 2014)

Onket - my daughter started getting very angry at us for putting our arms on the arm rest. I think she might be reading this thread!


----------



## Onket (Mar 31, 2014)

She sounds like a sensible girl, boohoo. 

Hope Santino's commute was ok today. He's slacking with the updates.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 31, 2014)

boohoo said:


> Onket - my daughter started getting very angry at us for putting our arms on the arm rest. I think she might be reading this thread!


Oh no, the poor young lass! Send to her to a re-education camp now, to save her from turning into a female Onket!


----------



## Onket (Mar 31, 2014)

"There is an armrest therefore I must use it" [/robotvoice]


----------



## Santino (Mar 31, 2014)

Onket said:


> She sounds like a sensible girl, boohoo.
> 
> Hope Santino's commute was ok today. He's slacking with the updates.


A short delay on the Central Line this morning but I took it in my Zen-like stride.


----------



## Onket (Mar 31, 2014)

Santino said:


> A short delay on the Central Line this morning but I took it in my Zen-like stride.


Glad to hear it.


----------



## tommers (Mar 31, 2014)

I had a really confusing commute this morning. My daughter was up all night so I was a bit hazy and I got up half hour later and got a different train to the one I usually get. 

But it was weird cos I saw all the usual people.   The three mouthy builders who stand next to me at Shepherd's Bush,  the little foreign guy who always rushes past me to get to trains that he doesn't need to rush for (the twat).  It was doing my head in.  I was happy to get to the relative safety of work.   I think I would have gone mad if one of them had talked to me.


----------



## Onket (Mar 31, 2014)

tommers said:


> I had a really confusing commute this morning. My daughter was up all night so I was a bit hazy and I got up half hour later and got a different train to the one I usually get.
> 
> But it was weird cos I saw all the usual people.   The three mouthy builders who stand next to me at Shepherd's Bush,  the little foreign guy who always rushes past me to get to trains that he doesn't need to rush for (the twat).  It was doing my head in.  I was happy to get to the relative safety of work.   I think I would have gone mad if one of them had talked to me.


Armrests?


----------



## tommers (Mar 31, 2014)

Onket said:


> Armrests?



I was too weirded out to notice. 

Somebody was leaning slightly in my space on the overground,  but I don't think there are armrests on those trains. I could be wrong though.


----------



## tommers (Mar 31, 2014)

I hope it wasn't that weird little foreign bloke.


----------



## Onket (Mar 31, 2014)

I hope you're feeling better now, anyway.


----------



## boohoo (Mar 31, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Oh no, the poor young lass! Send to her to a re-education camp now, to save her from turning into a female Onket!



She growls at any kid who comes near her buggy so she is already displaying some Onket-like traits.


----------



## tommers (Mar 31, 2014)

Onket said:


> I hope you're feeling better now, anyway.



Thank you mate.  It's going to freak me out if they're on the early train tomorrow.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 1, 2014)

Nice bit of April foolery just now.


----------



## Santino (Apr 1, 2014)

Didn't bother with the first Tube as it was too full, but got a seat on the second one. Then I had to give it up after just one stop when a woman deployed her Baby On Board badge (textbook deployment, by the way, standing just off to the side, swaying ever so slightly back and forth so that the badge floated in my eye-line even while reading). Got another seat after a few stops though.


----------



## fishfinger (Apr 1, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Nice bit of April foolery just now.


Which station is it?


----------



## Utopia (Apr 1, 2014)

My commute, which normally involves a 10min bike ride on my beautiful, classic racing green, single speed Pinarello through the quietish East London back streets, took 11mins due to snarl up with a bus & a scaffold lorry at Newington green roundabout.


----------



## tommers (Apr 1, 2014)

Utopia said:


> My commute, which normally involves a 10min bike ride on my beautiful, classic racing green, single speed Pinarello through the quietish East London back streets, took 11mins due to snarl up with a bus & a scaffold lorry at Newington green roundabout.



U OK hun?


----------



## Utopia (Apr 1, 2014)

tommers said:


> U OK hun?


 
Better now thanks, this morning was utter hell though.....fingers crossed tomorrows commute is easier!


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 1, 2014)

Train was cancelled again today.  Had to wait for the next one, which was late.

To top it off, the guy sat next to me had a cold


----------



## Onket (Apr 1, 2014)

Mine was fine.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 1, 2014)

I would love to contribute to this thread, but having been commuting in from Sheppteron since the New Year and Southwest Trains not managing to do a full five day week without at least one cancellation or bus replacement job, I fear that my troubles are too slight to be of note


----------



## Onket (Apr 1, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I would love to contribute to this thread, but having been commuting in from Sheppteron since the New Year and Southwest Trains not managing to do a full five day week without at least one cancellation or bus replacement job, I fear that my troubles are too slight to be of note


If only there was a thread for commutes that go badly.


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Apr 1, 2014)

Santino said:


> Didn't bother with the first Tube as it was too full, but got a seat on the second one. Then I had to give it up after just one stop when a woman deployed her Baby On Board badge (*textbook deployment*, by the way, standing just off to the side, swaying ever so slightly back and forth so that the badge floated in my eye-line even while reading). Got another seat after a few stops though.




I hate those badges - I see why they're useful and I bet if I were pregnant I'd be glad to get a seat by any means but I hate being organised into helping others  
and what about the people who have hidden pains and limb aches and back problems but are not 85 or with a stick?   how do they get a seat?   
Also, why is there a culture of men offering seats to women ?  someone got up next to me and a bloke the other day on the overground, he was marginally nearer and that's a fair cop for getting the seat but he offered it to me, I declined, but why offer it?  why feel guilty about getting a seat?  Or do I just look old now?


----------



## marty21 (Apr 1, 2014)

signal problems around Baker Street delayed me this morning, I had my book so I wasn't that fussed tbh


----------



## Santino (Apr 2, 2014)

Haven't left home yet.


----------



## Onket (Apr 2, 2014)

Left yet, Santino?


----------



## BigTom (Apr 2, 2014)

fishfinger said:


> Which station is it?



Wolverhampton


----------



## fishfinger (Apr 2, 2014)

BigTom said:


> Wolverhampton


Thanks


----------



## tommers (Apr 4, 2014)

This morning I had a really large man sat next to me.  Luckily there was an armrest in the way so he couldn't dominate my space too much.

And on the other side I had a builder playing Candy Crush.   With the sound on.

Oh, and there was 2 fellas squaring up to each other at Clapham Junction.

FML.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 4, 2014)

= commute


----------



## tommers (Apr 4, 2014)

You have no idea of the amount of shit I go through every day.  No idea.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 4, 2014)

I loathe people who play games or music without headphones. Ignorant bastards.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 4, 2014)

tommers said:


> You have no idea of the amount of shit I go through every day.  No idea.


I do though.  I'm there right with you, mang


----------



## Dogsauce (Apr 4, 2014)

Leeds was broken this morning, I was on a slightly later bus than usual, roadworks on the inner ring road causing huge delays.  Fortunately my second bus was hit by the same problems as the first, so I managed to make my connection - otherwise it's a 40-minute wait then a ten minute walk at the other end.  Hate working on a shitty out-of town business park served by one direct bus in each direction per day, and being too ill at the moment to ride in. Typically 1hr10 for the nine mile journey on the bus, on a good day I've been able to cycle it in under 30 minutes. 

Two bus companies dominate here, one mostly in the west/north of the city and one mostly in the east/south (bollocked by the competition committee a few years back for having agreed not to compete on each others routes - doesn't seem to have changed anything) so once you're into town from one direction with that company's day ticket, you then have limited services available to you to carry on out the other side.  The council wanted Quality Bus Contracts to provide the kind of decent service London has, but the Tories threatened them with funding cuts if they went ahead with this. Cunts.


----------



## magneze (Apr 7, 2014)

Oh goody. Trains fucked up out of Wimbledon. Almost drove this morning too... Probably should have...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 7, 2014)

Dogsauce said:


> Leeds was broken this morning, I was on a slightly later bus than usual, roadworks on the inner ring road causing huge delays.  Fortunately my second bus was hit by the same problems as the first, so I managed to make my connection - otherwise it's a 40-minute wait then a ten minute walk at the other end.  Hate working on a shitty out-of town business park served by one direct bus in each direction per day, and being too ill at the moment to ride in. Typically 1hr10 for the nine mile journey on the bus, on a good day I've been able to cycle it in under 30 minutes.
> 
> Two bus companies dominate here, one mostly in the west/north of the city and one mostly in the east/south (bollocked by the competition committee a few years back for having agreed not to compete on each others routes - doesn't seem to have changed anything) so once you're into town from one direction with that company's day ticket, you then have limited services available to you to carry on out the other side.  The council wanted Quality Bus Contracts to provide the kind of decent service London has, but the Tories threatened them with funding cuts if they went ahead with this. Cunts.


Same in Manchester - one company (first) cover the north and stagecoach the south, more or less. It's long been a source of annoyance here too. It's just fucking insane as a policy.


----------



## neonwilderness (Apr 7, 2014)

Start of the Easter holidays, so no school kids on the bus this morning.  I'm considering risking the later one tomorrow as that extra 5 minutes in bed makes all the difference


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 7, 2014)

Fucking Cross Country Trains. 

Was booked on the 6.30 only to find it'd been cancelled due to lack of staff. Erm, did the train company lose them? Or more likely are too bloody tight to employ enough to provide some slack in the system.  

The next train at seven arrived late and left 17 minutes behind schedule. So I'll now get back home at nearly 9pm, an hour later than planned. Cunts.


----------



## Onket (Apr 8, 2014)

Broken down train in the Balham area.  'Minor delays' apparently.  We'll see.


----------



## marty21 (Apr 8, 2014)

no delays today


----------



## Dogsauce (Apr 8, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> So I'll now get back home at nearly 9pm, an hour later than planned. Cunts.



1hr late = full refund under the delay repay thing. Fill your boots.


----------



## fractionMan (Apr 8, 2014)

Today I commuted all the way to the kitchen.  Uneventful.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 9, 2014)

Trains have ran pretty much on time* so far today, touch wood. Due home in 40 minutes so hope my luck holds. 

* apart from the customary last minute replatforming at New Street. I'm sure the control staff play platform bingo to while away the time.


----------



## Me76 (Apr 9, 2014)

It's not really a commute as I have been out for a drink, but got a train at Waterloo with three minutes to spare to get the connection at Clapham junction and the 15 past had been called so I'm now waiting for the half past.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 10, 2014)

Left earlyish yesterday to be home in time for an appointment. Checked the trains as I left -- all fine.  Get to Waterloo - my train has been cancelled. Gah.


----------



## Onket (Apr 10, 2014)

Animals on the line causing congestion around the Gatwick area this morning. 

Only 10 mins late to work though.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 10, 2014)

kabbes said:


> Left earlyish yesterday to be home in time for an appointment. Checked the trains as I left -- all fine.  Get to Waterloo - my train has been cancelled. Gah.


Don't know which site you use to check trains, but I've had the same problem with National Rail Enquiries, and I'm only a five minute walk from the station. I was reading how they operate their site the other day and in addition to using data provided by the train companies, they use a predictive algorithm to tell how trains are likely to be running / where they are. So if something goes tits up the site is simply talking bollocks. 

Nowt worse than getting to the station to find the train has been cancelled.


----------



## marty21 (Apr 10, 2014)

kabbes said:


> Left earlyish yesterday to be home in time for an appointment. Checked the trains as I left -- all fine.  Get to Waterloo - my train has been cancelled. Gah.


 good job there is a thread to report this sort of thing


----------



## marty21 (Apr 10, 2014)

Onket said:


> Animals on the line causing congestion around the Gatwick area this morning.
> 
> Only 10 mins late to work though.


 what animals?


----------



## Onket (Apr 10, 2014)

marty21 said:


> what animals?


They didn't specify.


----------



## marty21 (Apr 10, 2014)

Onket said:


> They didn't specify.


 well that could lead to all sorts of pointless speculation -

herds of wildebeast - pride of lions, etc etc


----------



## Onket (Apr 10, 2014)

marty21 said:


> well that could lead to all sorts of pointless speculation -
> 
> herds of wildebeast - pride of lions, etc etc


http://www.southernrailway.com/p/contact-us/

Let me know what they say.....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 10, 2014)

I've been held up due a herd of cows who decided to have a wander onto the WCML once. Better to be held up than hit a herd of large animals at 125mph.


----------



## Santino (Apr 14, 2014)

Didn't go to work.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 14, 2014)

Delayed yet again. Train left New Street 25 minutes late, and because it's out of sequence as it's missed it's planned slot, we're trundling along at various types of slow. I'll get home eventually I suppose.  

And Onket - have you shaved your beard off as someone who looks like you - minus beard - is sat next to me drinking cider. Granted, he doesn't look as angry as you do in your picture.


----------



## Belushi (Apr 14, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> And Onket - have you shaved your beard off as someone who looks like you - minus beard - is sat next to me drinking cider. Granted, he doesn't look as angry as you do in your picture.



Have you tried pulling the armrest down?


----------



## Onket (Apr 14, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Delayed yet again. Train left New Street 25 minutes late, and because it's out of sequence as it's missed it's planned slot, we're trundling along at various types of slow. I'll get home eventually I suppose.
> 
> And Onket - have you shaved your beard off as someone who looks like you - minus beard - is sat next to me drinking cider. Granted, he doesn't look as angry as you do in your picture.


Is that you in the floral print shift dress? You could have shaved your legs!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 14, 2014)

Belushi said:


> Have you tried pulling the armrest down?


Already done! No furious reaction.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 14, 2014)

Onket said:


> Is that you in the floral print shift dress? You could have shaved your legs!


'Tis me!


----------



## tommers (Apr 14, 2014)

I'm off work until next Wednesday so I don't have to engage in this ridiculous charade.


----------



## Onket (Apr 14, 2014)

I'm going in tomorrow.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 14, 2014)

tommers said:


> I'm off work until next Wednesday so I don't have to engage in this ridiculous charade.



What, of dressing in floral dresses on your commute for a laugh?


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 14, 2014)

Current commute is 15 minute walk, 50 min train, 20 minute walk. Just put an offer in on a house 3 miles from the station. I'll probably buy a scooter.


----------



## Onket (Apr 14, 2014)

Cycle it, you lazy fucker!


----------



## Dogsauce (Apr 15, 2014)

Missed the usual bus because I was cleaning up cat sick from the kitchen floor and spending a couple of minutes trying to find a matching tupperware container and lid from the vast collection in the back of my cupboard to put my lunch in. Flustered and panicking, just made it to the later bus, which was then driven with the least amount of urgency possible, crawling up to the lights as they change to red.  Every passenger getting on didn't seem to have a clue what ticket they wanted, or what pocket they'd put their money in.  Just made the connecting bus in town after a dash between the two stops.  I miss cycling, it's so much more relaxing.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 15, 2014)

Dogsauce said:


> Missed the usual bus because I was cleaning up cat sick from the kitchen floor and spending a couple of minutes trying to find a matching tupperware container and lid from the vast collection in the back of my cupboard to put my lunch in. Flustered and panicking, just made it to the later bus, which was then driven with the least amount of urgency possible, crawling up to the lights as they change to red.  Every passenger getting on didn't seem to have a clue what ticket they wanted, or what pocket they'd put their money in.  Just made the connecting bus in town after a dash between the two stops.  I miss cycling, it's so much more relaxing.


Public transport would be far less stressful if the rest of the public would just fuck off.


----------



## Onket (Apr 15, 2014)

Had a little bit of armrest related hassle this morning,  but it wasn't too bad.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 15, 2014)

Onket said:


> Had a little bit of armrest related hassle this morning,  but it wasn't too bad.


Did the person taunting you with the armrest end up dead?


----------



## Onket (Apr 15, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Did the person taunting you with the armrest end up dead?


He was dead the moment he boarded, tbf.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 15, 2014)

Onket said:


> Cycle it, you lazy fucker!



I probably will do. Or run it.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2014)

A lovely journey tonight.

Got up the escalators at Euston station tube only to find the mainline station closed due to an incident. The tube station staff were totally useless as they weren't helping passengers at all, just telling everyone to get back on the tube to Kings Cross. 

We got more helpful information from other passengers who said there was a fire in the taxi rank. As it is underground it's reasonable to shut the station just in case.

Got to KX and tried to get info from the ticket office. Equally useless as they hadn't a clue, and seemed to think Virgin ran Euston station when obviously it's Network Rail. For fucks sake they work in a Network Rail managed station so its not exactly rocket science to know this basic stuff.   Said we could get info from the station reception so off we trotted but could we hell find it. 

Gave up and walked back to Euston and while the emergency services were still there, the station had thankfully reopened. Absolutely rammed due to the huge backlog of passengers, so I got some G & T from Marks and barged my way through the crowded concourse to catch the first train out. (apologies to anyone who felt my sharp elbows)

Train rammed but got a seat in standard only then for them to announce they'd declassified the train. The fuckers, I walked past first class and could have got a nice seat there if I'd known. 

Should be home in about 30 minutes, despite leaving the office at five. A late start tomorrow I think...


----------



## Onket (Apr 16, 2014)

You were in London and didn't arrange to have a beer?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2014)

It was a flying visit just for a meeting. As was my trip there yesterday.


----------



## Onket (Apr 16, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> It was a flying visit just for a meeting. As was my trip there yesterday.


You do realise I'll be washing my beard next time you are around, don't you?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2014)

Onket said:


> You do realise I'll be washing my beard next time you are around, don't you?



So it was handed in to the police after all, and you just need to give it a wash as you don't know where its been?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2014)

Anyway, next time I'm in London I'll let you know.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 16, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> Current commute is 15 minute walk, 50 min train, 20 minute walk. Just put an offer in on a house 3 miles from the station. I'll probably buy a scooter.



Got the house


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> Got the house



Good news. 

I bet that will make a big difference to your life - anything that reduces the commute is worthwhile.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Apr 16, 2014)

Ha, actually it increases it. Well, no, it changes it. Swaps a 20 walk to the station for a 15 min cycle to the station. 

Door to door is 1hr 30 mins but it's actually an OK journey. 40 mins of walking, 50 mins sat on the train. I value both components.


----------



## Dogsauce (Apr 22, 2014)

Buses are wankers.

1h45 to travel nine miles today. First two buses didn't turn up, after half an hour (in the rain, no shelter at this stop) jumped onto another radial bus service that takes me a mile further along the route to a point where I could also pick up another couple of services.  One of the original route buses shows up five minutes later, It's full, I'm the first person not to be allowed on, people who got there after me having pushed ahead (more a scrum than a queue). Driver said the previous one had broken down, apologised.  I'd have been better staying where I was.  Got another service after three minutes.  Original connection in town (the only one a day that actually goes to my work) was long gone, got a later one that takes me to somewhere about 10 mins walk away.  Into the office at 9:15, 45 mins late.

I hate working here, I hate not being well enough to cycle in at the moment.


----------



## Onket (Apr 22, 2014)

Some poor fucker hit by a train near London Road. Train currently stood still somewhere outside Brighton. Power supply isolated and emergency services attending. Might be here some time.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 22, 2014)

Onket said:


> Some poor fucker hit by a train near London Road. Train currently stood still somewhere outside Brighton. Power supply isolated and emergency services attending. Might be here some time.



Poor bugger whoever it was.  

Hope you get home reasonably soon all things considered.


----------



## Onket (Apr 22, 2014)

Unlikely. They've just announced the emergency services are still attending.


----------



## Onket (Apr 22, 2014)

Still not moved.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 22, 2014)

National Rail are saying 90 minute delays on that line.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 22, 2014)

Any movement yet Onket?


----------



## Onket (Apr 22, 2014)

Yes mate,  moving now.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 23, 2014)

Did you get home?


----------



## Onket (Apr 23, 2014)

Yes. 

Thanks.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2014)

Onket said:


> Yes.
> 
> Thanks.



How badly were you delayed in the end?  I absolutely hate it when you're stuck on a train and just have to sit it out.


----------



## Onket (Apr 23, 2014)

Just over an hour.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2014)

Onket said:


> Just over an hour.



That's not too bad.


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 23, 2014)

Onket said:


> Unlikely. They've just announced the emergency services are still attending.


It took them a while but apparently they managed to recover the person from the scene still alive.


----------



## marty21 (Apr 23, 2014)

Looking forward to epic bastard commute tales next week if the tube strike goes ahead


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2014)

_pH_ said:


> It took them a while but apparently they managed to recover the person from the scene still alive.



That's good news.


----------



## Onket (Apr 23, 2014)

_pH_ said:


> It took them a while but apparently they managed to recover the person from the scene still alive.


Excellent news.


----------



## Onket (Apr 25, 2014)

Heavy rainfall all night and lots of standing water on the cycle to the station. No delays announced so far (but I did miss my train because my season ticket ran out last night).


----------



## marty21 (Apr 25, 2014)

I'm doing to ask if I can work from home on Weds to avoid the bastard commute on Weds if the strike is still on - have to go in on Tuesday as I have a couple of important meetings I can't get out of.


----------



## magneze (Apr 25, 2014)

Trains at Wimbledon screwed up today. For a while it looked like nothing was going to get me to work, then one turned up. Not that late in the end.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 25, 2014)

All trains to Waterloo from Dorking cancelled this morning. Everything else had hefty delays.

I had a 9am meeting with the insurance regulator.


----------



## marty21 (Apr 29, 2014)

Was a bit of a bastard commute, got a 253 to Manor House hoping to get a 29 to Camden Town, didn't succeed as they were all packed so walked to the holloway rd and then managed to get a routemaster 29 to Camden, then walked towards Kings X and managed to get a 214 


Tomorrow managed to arrange to work from home


----------



## Onket (May 1, 2014)

The carriage smells like kippers today. Not particularly pleasant.


----------



## magneze (May 1, 2014)

Terrible traffic in Colliers Wood. Car in the middle of the road and police everywhere. I think a bike was hit.


----------



## marty21 (May 1, 2014)

signal problems at Liverpool Street as I was coming in my train - then again at Baker Street - double whammy of delays


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

The air con on my train is fucked so it's ridiculously hot. It's so bad they've been round giving out free bottles of water - I've never seen this in all my years of commuting.  

I've adopted the medallion man look with my shirt unbuttoned halfway and holding the cold bottle of water to my neck to try to cool the blood going through my neck.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

It's a good look, tbf.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

Onket said:


> It's a good look, tbf.


Strangely I've now got the seat to myself.


----------



## marty21 (May 6, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> The air con on my train is fucked so it's ridiculously hot. It's so bad they've been round giving out free bottles of water - I've never seen this in all my years of commuting.
> 
> I've adopted the medallion man look with my shirt unbuttoned halfway and holding the cold bottle of water to my neck to try to cool the blood going through my neck.


Pour the water all over for wet t-shirt type look


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

marty21 said:


> Pour the water all over for wet t-shirt type look


That would be deeply unfair on my fellow passengers.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

Just stepped off the train - ahhh, lovely cool air!


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

Lightweight commute. What are you doing posting on this thread?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

I wouldn't call 90 minutes particularly lightweight!  Anyway, home now and sat here in just my undies to try and regain normal body temperature.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

Pic?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

No!  

They're a claret colour if that helps.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

Pic?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

What, of my undies or me wearing them?  Either way, the answer is no.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

Lightweight.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

They are lightweight undies as it happens, what with spandex weighing next to nothing.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

You can say whatever you want. Without pictorial evidence it's just hot air.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

I see what you did there.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

I don't know what you're talking about.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

Seriously. 

You claimed you were sat in your pants but refused to prove it.  

Poor show.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

You post a picture of you in your undies first.  I don't care if you're on the train, drop yer kecks and take a photo.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

You made the claim, not me!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

Not a claim, a simple statement of fact that I'm sitting here in my undies.  No claim about it, as it is true.  If you want to see me wearing purple undies I feel sorry for you.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)




----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

Harlot.


----------



## fishfinger (May 6, 2014)

Onket said:


>


Naked thread -------->


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

That's not naked!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

Onket said:


> That's not naked!



It's one step away from flashing.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

True.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

If that picture is you, you do realise that trains have CCTV.


----------



## fishfinger (May 6, 2014)

Onket said:


> That's not naked!


I can see bare flesh, you shameless exhibitionist!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

fishfinger said:


> I can see bare flesh, you shameless exhibitionist!



I know - showing a bit of leg is wanton exhibitionism.


----------



## fishfinger (May 6, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I know - showing a bit of leg is wanton exhibitionism.


Quite. Moral decline and all that
<tuts loudly>


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

fishfinger said:


> Quite. Moral decline and all that
> <tuts loudly>



And we all know that the flashers' trouser of choice is the tracksuit bottom for ease of display.


----------



## fishfinger (May 6, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> And we all know that the flashers' trouser of choice is the tracksuit bottom for ease of display.


We do? <gulp> 

<quickly changes trousers>


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

I've been groomed by farmerbarleymow.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

Onket said:


> I've been groomed by farmerbarleymow.



Get yer knob out then and post a pic.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)




----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2014)

I'm now in bed, still wearing me purple undies and a fetching pair of black socks. I'm classy me.


----------



## Onket (May 6, 2014)

Pic?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

I was asleep.  Difficult to take photos when you're unconscious.


----------



## Onket (May 7, 2014)

Excuses.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

The police have been walking up and down the train this morning. They're looking for strange men with their keks down. I suspect they're checking every train, so they're after you Onket.


----------



## kabbes (May 7, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> The air con on my train is fucked so it's ridiculously hot. It's so bad they've been round giving out free bottles of water - I've never seen this in all my years of commuting.
> 
> I've adopted the medallion man look with my shirt unbuttoned halfway and holding the cold bottle of water to my neck to try to cool the blood going through my neck.


My commuter trains don't have any air conditioning installed in the first place.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

kabbes said:


> My commuter trains don't have any air conditioning installed in the first place.


I commute on intercity trains so thankfully they're normally better kitted out with that sort of thing. When it actually works that is...


----------



## Onket (May 7, 2014)

Well, la-di-da.


----------



## kabbes (May 7, 2014)

Yeah, bully for you. So sorry that one train you got once had no air con and was a bit hot. You poor baby.


----------



## tommers (May 7, 2014)

Wouldn't last five minutes around here. 

Last night my train was cancelled and so the next one was well crowded (no air con). So some bloke decided to hold the door open so that he could wedge his mates in,  all while going on about how there's 'plenty of room'  as he shoved his elbows into my ribs. 

And then proceeded to have a fucking conversation with somebody about three inches away from my face. 

You wouldn't have liked it.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

kabbes said:


> Yeah, bully for you. So sorry that one train you got once had no air con and was a bit hot. You poor baby.




You'll be delighted to know that it's working today, and I'm sat under a nice cool breeze from the vents in the ceiling. It is most pleasant indeed.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

Do I take it you lot don't have proper trains in the South? You poor lambs - I feel for you! 

I'll report in from my train to London tomorrow - non-stop from Manchester in air conditioned luxury.


----------



## Onket (May 7, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> You'll be delighted to know that it's working today, and I'm sat under a nice cool breeze from the vents in the ceiling. It is most pleasant indeed.


Let's have a photo of your pants, then.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

Onket said:


> Let's have a photo of your pants, then.


I'm going commando today, so no.


----------



## Onket (May 7, 2014)

Coward.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

Onket said:


> Coward.


I'm risk-averse and don't want to get arrested. And anyway, the air conditioning would make me feel cold.


----------



## Onket (May 7, 2014)




----------



## kabbes (May 7, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Do I take it you lot don't have proper trains in the South? You poor lambs - I feel for you!


Not on SouthWestern services, no. They're the shittest things imaginable.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2014)

kabbes said:


> Not on SouthWestern services, no. They're the shittest things imaginable.


Thankfully I've only used them once every few years.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Reporting in for duty. My train is a proper temperature, and I've got two seats to myself so I'm spread out comfortably. It should be a nice journey - due into Euston at 9am.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

At least you've warned me this time.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Onket said:


> At least you've warned me this time.


True. So you can't complain this time.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

Where you buying me a pint, then? You must owe me several by now.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Onket said:


> Where you buying me a pint, then? You must owe me several by now.


Do I really? I'd buy you a pint though, as long as you turned up in just your pants.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

If you want to meet for a pint it'd have to be somewhere central - preferably near or towards Euston. I'm leaving the office around 5.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

I think I'm busy, actually.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Onket said:


> I think I'm busy, actually.


I've travelled all this especially and I've been stood up.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

Good.


----------



## tommers (May 8, 2014)

A lady collapsed onto the guy next to me on the overground this morning. It was a bit hot and I think she was pregnant.  At first I thought she might be epileptic but I lifted her up and we put her in a seat.  She said she was ok and we both got off at shepherd's bush and she was able to walk off.   She said she was going to wait there until the crowds went and then carry on.  I offered to get the guard but she said she was fine. 

I hope she was alright.


----------



## kabbes (May 8, 2014)

tommers said:


> A lady collapsed onto the guy next to me on the overground this morning. It was a bit hot and I think she was pregnant.  At first I thought she might be epileptic but I lifted her up and we put her in a seat.  She said she was ok and we both got off at shepherd's bush and she was able to walk off.   She said she was going to wait there until the crowds went and then carry on.  I offered to get the guard but she said she was fine.
> 
> I hope she was alright.


I am tempted to form a new single-interest political party called UKCP, with C standing for Commuter. The entire platform (oho) will be based around more comfortable commuting. 

Any takers?


----------



## tommers (May 8, 2014)

kabbes said:


> I am tempted to form a new single-interest political party called UKCP, with C standing for Commuter. The entire platform (oho) will be based around more comfortable commuting.
> 
> Any takers?



At last a cause I can get behind.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

I'm in.


----------



## marty21 (May 8, 2014)

kabbes said:


> I am tempted to form a new single-interest political party called UKCP, with C standing for Commuter. The entire platform (oho) will be based around more comfortable commuting.
> 
> Any takers?


 where do you stand on the arm rest issue?


----------



## kabbes (May 8, 2014)

marty21 said:


> where do you stand on the arm rest issue?


Schism already


----------



## Dan U (May 8, 2014)

M25 was shit this morning.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Onket said:


> Good.


I don't want to associate with someone who exposes themselves on public transport anyway.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

On my way back North, and it is nicely air conditioned again, with plenty of room. back to my normal shitty cross country train service tomorrow though, mores a pity.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I don't want to associate with someone who exposes themselves on public transport anyway.


Did 1cm of my thigh cause that view?!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Onket said:


> Did 1cm of my thigh cause that view?!


Erm, I think the fact that you dropped your keks on the train is more to the point.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

Prude.


----------



## marty21 (May 8, 2014)

kabbes said:


> Schism already


politics is difficult mmmkay


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Onket said:


> Prude.


Tart.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

Post reported.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

Onket said:


> Post reported.


I've already reported you to the BTP.


----------



## Onket (May 8, 2014)

Grass.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 8, 2014)

There's a fit bloke sat opposite me and he's just come back from the shop with a copy of the fucking Daily Mail. He's instantly gone down in my estimation. I wonder if he's only bought it because he isn't very bright. Cute and dumb perhaps.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 9, 2014)

Back to my normal trains today, and the usual delays. The train I'm on now is running 30 minutes late - a track circuit failure at Southampton and a tree on the line at Basingstoke. At least it's Friday so I don't have to do this again tomorrow.

But the air conditioning is working.


----------



## mango5 (May 9, 2014)

Bus, train, bus. Left at 4.30 and won't be home for another 20 mins. No delays, just a long commute. And I had to share a double seat on the train cos there were only 5 carriages (there are often 10). This is about as bad as it gets tbf.


----------



## Dogsauce (May 15, 2014)

I somehow got on the wrong bus this morning, no idea how. Only after about five minutes travel did I notice all the adverts were for the wrong bus company.  Driver must have been half asleep too as my day ticket was for the other bus company.  Only meant an extra ten minute walk in the sunshine to the office at the other end, and I still got there before the proper bus, which takes a more circuitous route.


----------



## magneze (May 16, 2014)

Someone is playing Candy  Crush with the sound on.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 16, 2014)

magneze said:


> Someone is playing Candy  Crush with the sound on.


Kill them. Then shove their phone up their arse.


----------



## magneze (May 16, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Kill them. Then shove their phone up their arse.


He continued to play it whilst walking off the train and down the street.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 16, 2014)

magneze said:


> He continued to play it whilst walking off the train and down the street.



Lets all hope he got run over through being distracted.


----------



## marty21 (May 16, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Kill them. Then shove their phone up their arse.


^^^^reasonable response


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 16, 2014)

marty21 said:


> ^^^^reasonable response



I think hanging, drawing and quartering is the reasonable response, but I was trying to be humane.


----------



## magneze (May 16, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Lets all hope he got run over through being distracted.


It's the circle of life.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 16, 2014)

magneze said:


> It's the circle of life.



Like Candy Crush with humans being the little things on screen and cars being the fingers...


----------



## Dogsauce (May 19, 2014)

People who have that McDonald's whistle thing as a text alert.  Sat next to one of those yesterday for two and a half hours.  I maintained my composure in the face of such provocation.  Some cunt at work has this too.


----------



## Santino (Jun 3, 2014)

On the Tube this morning, a woman boarded and stood right by me. She looked possibly pregnant, but not definitely. No Baby on Board badge, but she was standing in the position that I read as 'please let me sit down'. She didn't ask. I didn't offer. She was having a silent conversation with the man she had boarded with, he was pointing at his chest. I understood this to mean 'you haven't got your badge on, that's why this dick isn't offering you his seat'.

It was too late to offer now. And she still might not be pregnant.

Got off the Tube at the next stop, waited for the next one. Problem solved.


----------



## neonwilderness (Jun 3, 2014)

Santino said:


> She looked possibly pregnant, but not definitely.


Have you made that mistake before?


----------



## Onket (Jun 3, 2014)

Santino said:


> On the Tube this morning, a woman boarded and stood right by me. She looked possibly pregnant, but not definitely. No Baby on Board badge, but she was standing in the position that I read as 'please let me sit down'. She didn't ask. I didn't offer. She was having a silent conversation with the man she had boarded with, he was pointing at his chest. I understood this to mean 'you haven't got your badge on, that's why this dick isn't offering you his seat'.
> 
> It was too late to offer now. And she still might not be pregnant.
> 
> Got off the Tube at the next stop, waited for the next one. Problem solved.


Superb.

More of this kind of stuff please.


----------



## Manter (Jun 3, 2014)

I commuted today for the first time in 48 weeks. And last time I did it I was heavily pregnant. 

It was shit


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 3, 2014)

Manter said:


> I commuted today for the first time in 48 weeks. And last time I did it I was heavily pregnant.
> 
> It was shit



As shit as before, or worse?  I bet it was bloody depressing at any rate.


----------



## Onket (Jun 3, 2014)

Manter said:


> I commuted today for the first time in 48 weeks. And last time I did it I was heavily pregnant.
> 
> It was shit


----------



## Manter (Jun 3, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> As shit as before, or worse?  I bet it was bloody depressing at any rate.


Depressing, I guess. Also, fucked up the whole leaving the house thing so missed the 7.20, and all the later trains get fuller and fuller and fuller. 

And I'm not used to not getting special treatment- for the last year I have either been obviously pregnant or with the small fry. Being jostled and elbowed was a bit odd.  

Ho hum. Real life ahoy


----------



## equationgirl (Jun 3, 2014)

I nearly got squashed by a cyclist who was meandering his way across the junction on a green man. Me and the man in the electric wheelchair were unimpressed with his dangerousness.

Pity the two policemen crossing at the same time did fuck all.


----------



## sim667 (Jun 4, 2014)

Discovered a mercedes doing a u turn across 4 lanes of traffic today when I was doing 50 odd mph. Prick.


----------



## plurker (Jun 4, 2014)

I live mainly on the cycle-commute thread, but have broken my arms so here's a synopsis of five days of train commutes on First Capital Connect from Streatham. 

1) 0839 on time. I get a seat, but then it's standing room only.  At Tulse Hill a heavily pregnant lady gets on. I'm the only one to offer my seat - bearing in mind my arm's in a cast & sling, but after I've offered and someone's looked at the lady and then me, suddenly they offer theirs.
2) 0839 about 4 mins late. Crowded. Standing room. No other issues.
3) 0839 on time but only has four carriages instead of eight. Hoorah. Get jostled and elbowed despite sling.
4) Delayed train, slow running, stops outside Elephant & Castle for 15 mins . Driver announces _"Sorry for the delay, no-one's told me what's happening"_  journey takes 59 mins, instead of the 30 normally on this route 
5) Am running late myself so decide I'll miss 0839 and aim for 0854. Get to station and the 0839 is in fact arriving at 0855. Yay, First Capital Connect made me on time!

Is this service-standard normal?
Assuming so, it baffles me why so many fit/healthy-looking people do this each day. The costs are high and it's a terrible way to travel.


----------



## sim667 (Jun 4, 2014)

plurker said:


> I live mainly on the cycle-commute thread, but have broken my arms so here's a synopsis of five days of train commutes on First Capital Connect from Streatham.
> 
> 1) 0839 on time. I get a seat, but then it's standing room only.  At Tulse Hill a heavily pregnant lady gets on. I'm the only one to offer my seat - bearing in mind my arm's in a cast & sling, but after I've offered and someone's looked at the lady and then me, suddenly they offer theirs.
> 2) 0839 about 4 mins late. Crowded. Standing room. No other issues.
> ...


 
Yeah, thats about standard.

Wait until winter when its snowing and then repeat the test


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 4, 2014)

Southwest Trains advising problems with signals at Portsmouth Harbour, warning of possible 15 minute delays. Arrive at the station for the 0740 to Waterloo to discover that the 0621 would be arriving shortly. It didn't, they cancelled it after 10 minutes. At 8 a train does pull in, but not one person is able to board as is stoked. It sheepishly closes its doors and naffs off. Another 10 minutes passes before an almost empty train pulls in, this looks good. Then the guard announces that as this train is really late it will terminate at Woking, wtf? At Woking the crush on the platform means it takes 15 minutes to cross over to platform two, in the process missing two trains to Waterloo. Another train comes in, also too busy to board, so then one after that arrives, standing room only, but no crush, so there we are, an hour late in to Waterloo. Still at only £3472.00 for the annual ticket, some may argue that's good value.


----------



## Sapphireblue (Jun 4, 2014)

yesterday i was pretty much literally trapped at work. 

stupid fucking business park has only one way in and out onto a small roundabout, with that roundabout leading off to the biggest and worst roundabout in the entire area. so it's pretty much a fucker most of the time, even though i turn off that first roundabout away from the other one.

add to that FIVE YEARS of major roadworks just started affecting both roundabouts, i have to be very careful to time leaving for the small lulls in traffic that occur. 

yesterday, an accident and diesel spill occurred ON BOTH ROUNDABOUTS. the tailbacks went past our office for hours (we're not particularly close to the exit of the business park). the accident was at about 4pm, i didn't even attempt to leave until 7.30pm and i still queued for 20 minutes to get to the fucking roundabout.

have i mentioned that i hate my new office location and am desperately job-hunting?


----------



## Sapphireblue (Jun 4, 2014)

also, there's fuck all in walking distance, no shops, pubs, anything. loads of us were trapped there slowly starving as dinner-time came and went.


----------



## magneze (Jun 4, 2014)

Awful traffic this morning. Took 45 minutes to get from Tooting to Colliers Wood. Then absolutely clear. WTF.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 4, 2014)

I am 37 years old. I started the London commute at 30 years of age.  I am having a difficult time envisaging still commuting after 40. It's just too brutal, day in, day out.  10 years feels like enough.


----------



## tommers (Jun 4, 2014)

I am going to start cycling again.   I thought 20 miles each way was too far but it's rapidly getting more attractive. 

I realised today that I hate people who run for trains when they don't need to,  and people who stand up too early for their stop. 

This is no way to live. 

Although standing by the door for 5 minutes before the train stops.   What the actual Fuck is that all about?


----------



## tommers (Jun 4, 2014)

It's like they've never caught a train before.


----------



## tommers (Jun 4, 2014)

Better make sure the doors don't shut before you can get off.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Jun 4, 2014)

I quite like my commute. I get a nice seat for 45 mins and I get a chance to read in peace. It's all good.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 4, 2014)

tommers said:


> I am going to start cycling again.   I thought 20 miles each way was too far but it's rapidly getting more attractive.
> 
> I realised today that I hate people who run for trains when they don't need to,  and people who stand up too early for their stop.
> 
> ...


I hate people but also get up and stand by the doors to get off first and avoid the hell that is crowds at Birmingham New Street.  So shoot me.


----------



## tommers (Jun 4, 2014)

How does that avoid the crowd?   If the train is crowded then you're going to struggle to get to the doors.   If the platform's crowded then you're just first off into the horde of slavering zombie like idiots drooling to themselves as they wait for the magic doors to open. 

Better to wait and hide behind a big man who can clear a path for you.   And you get to sit down for a few more vital seconds.


----------



## tommers (Jun 4, 2014)

The worst ones are the ones who ask you to get up so they can stand half on the seat half off really uncomfortably until the gangway clears enough to actually walk forwards.  Nobody's going anywhere. Chill out.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 4, 2014)

tommers said:


> Although standing by the door for 5 minutes before the train stops.   What the actual Fuck is that all about?


Dorking is the final stop, the train is still mostly full by the time it gets there.  If you're not off in the first few dozen people and from the carriage nearest the exit, you're going to be stuck in the car park for 5-10 minutes.  So I make sure I am in the first few dozen people (and generally the first three or four, at that).


----------



## Onket (Jun 4, 2014)

ChrisFilter said:


> I quite like my commute. I get a nice seat for 45 mins and I get a chance to read in peace. It's all good.


A nice seat?


----------



## kabbes (Jun 5, 2014)

I get a highly cramped seat that gives me backache.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 5, 2014)

tommers said:


> How does that avoid the crowd?   If the train is crowded then you're going to struggle to get to the doors.   If the platform's crowded then you're just first off into the horde of slavering zombie like idiots drooling to themselves as they wait for the magic doors to open.
> 
> Better to wait and hide behind a big man who can clear a path for you.   And you get to sit down for a few more vital seconds.


If you're stood up, even behind some others, you get off sooner as you don't get stuck behind the cretins getting the wardrobes full of bricks out of the luggage racks. Once you're off the train I find waving a big knife around magically clears a path to the lifts or escalators.


----------



## Onket (Jun 5, 2014)

You're fibbing again, aren't you.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 6, 2014)

Onket said:


> You're fibbing again, aren't you.


Yes, I don't really carry a knife when I'm commuting.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 6, 2014)

For once I'm in a half empty carriage. It's the quiet coach and it's blissful silence.  

I'm probably tempting fate - some twat will get on and keep blethering into their phone.


----------



## tommers (Jun 6, 2014)

This morning they cancelled the overground. 

In other news my bike will be fixed by tomorrow. Roll on.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Jun 6, 2014)

Onket said:


> A nice seat?



Well, to be honest, any seat is a nice seat when I'm stuck into a good book.

Said my grandad.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 10, 2014)

while changing trains this evening, an intending passenger on the opposite platform was having quite an argument complete with shouting, swearing and stamping around, via his mobile phone.

sadly train arrived before this argument ended.  

i wasn't quite sure if it would have been advisable to lead a round of applause from my platform...


----------



## The Boy (Jun 11, 2014)

Left the house at 5am british time.  I'll be home in around five hours time.

Granted it's not really a commute, but still.  Bitch of a journey.


----------



## Me76 (Jun 13, 2014)

Missing driver on my train from Victoria today. Was very impressed with the updates from the not drivers. Ended up getting the next one. I hope they find him.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 20, 2014)

I'm on the 05:11 train, and some freak is singing. Badly.  

He doesn't have headphones on, and just seems to be singing to himself. I suspect he's probably on his way home from a night out, but as I'm on my way to work I don't want to hear the cats chorus so I've put my headphones in.


----------



## Onket (Jun 20, 2014)

You are the most grumpy person I have ever read.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> You are the most grumpy person I have ever read.


Singing badly at that hour of the day deserves the death penalty.


----------



## Onket (Jun 20, 2014)

Hardly.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> Hardly.


There are a whole range of things which, when I rule the world, will become capital offences. For example, walking too slowly (unless they are young, old or infirm).


----------



## Onket (Jun 20, 2014)

And you have the gall to say other people are grumpy.


----------



## marty21 (Jun 20, 2014)

had a different commute today, instead of getting on a packed train at Clapton, walked up to Rectory Road and got a seat  it is only about a mile (if that) away - goes to Liverpool Street as well .and never seems to get packed.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> You are the most grumpy person I have ever read.


I literally don't know what to say.


----------



## Onket (Jun 20, 2014)

That's a first.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> That's a first.


I know, that's how amazing it is.  You might possibly be the only person on this board even grumpier than me. I mean, probably not. But you might be.


----------



## Onket (Jun 20, 2014)

I don't think either of us are particularly grumpy.

That barleymow, however. My word.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> I don't think either of us are particularly grumpy.
> 
> That barleymow, however. My word.


Oh shut up you grumpy old bugger.


----------



## Onket (Jun 20, 2014)

The post you've quoted isn't an example of grumpiness.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 20, 2014)

Onket said:


> The post you've quoted isn't an example of grumpiness.


It wasn't intended to. See, you're being grumpy right now because I haven't posted what you think I should post.


----------



## Onket (Jun 20, 2014)

You nutter! 

1- That wasn't being grumpy
2- What I think you should post?

You're in a bloody world of your own, you are.


----------



## pogofish (Jun 30, 2014)

Police "incident" on the bridge this morning. Car/gaggle of officers in the middle of the bridge, the Rescue Sea King circling at a discrete distance and someone up on the parapet, so it looked like a jumper.  Two traffic officers at my end directing *all* the main road traffic from the south along to the next bridge.  Flaming chaos!

Thing is, that bridge isn't high enough to do it reliably and with the Commonwealth Games flame due on the banks below within the hour, there was hardly any lack of emergency services in area!


----------



## pogofish (Jun 30, 2014)

Fuck - she jumped:

http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/news/local/woman-hurt-on-aberdeen-island-1.447641


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 30, 2014)

pogofish said:


> Fuck - she jumped:
> 
> http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/news/local/woman-hurt-on-aberdeen-island-1.447641


We can only hope her injuries aren't life- changing ones and she recovers soon to get the help she needs.


----------



## magneze (Jul 10, 2014)

Trains late so drove. Roads even worse. Turn off your car for 20 mins at a time worse. Trapped around Colliers Wood. [emoji20]


----------



## ChrisFilter (Jul 10, 2014)

Ugh. That's why I'm so glad I left London. It's all so slow and constricted. 

I still commute in, mind.


----------



## Santino (Aug 1, 2014)

Nothing in particular to report.


----------



## Santino (Aug 19, 2014)

Stood up for a pregnant woman and had to stand most of the way this morning.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 19, 2014)

My trains have been fairly quiet in the last few weeks. Holiday season I suppose.


----------



## Epico (Sep 15, 2014)

What's the least shitty way to get to Canary Wharf from Euston at rush hour?

Not experienced London rush hour in a couple of years so am not especially looking forward to it.


----------



## sim667 (Sep 18, 2014)

Some farcical police driving on my way to work today....


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 18, 2014)

Epico said:


> What's the least shitty way to get to Canary Wharf from Euston at rush hour?
> 
> Not experienced London rush hour in a couple of years so am not especially looking forward to it.



where are you actually starting from?  just wondering if something involving the overground from willesden junction round to stratford might be an option.  and cheaper as it avoids zone 1


----------



## eatmorecheese (Sep 19, 2014)

Sweaty cramped 40 minutes on the way home tonight, bus top deck, tooth by jowl with a poor screaming baby and a six year old (or thereabouts) happy girl who blew a whistle constantly in the seat beside me. For 40 minutes. Gruelling. The mum looked utterly worn down. When I stood up, I noticed I'd had my foot in a fried chicken box, and my shoe had ketchup and mayonnaise on it.

At least it's the weekend now


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 22, 2014)

Someone hit by a train, so the usual chaos. Abrupt cancellations, so I've had to get a roundabout route home which has added an hour to the journey. On the plus side, I've learned that there is a spoof Twitter account for Cross Country trains - called appropriately enough Cross Cuntry. 

@crosscountrytrn


----------



## equationgirl (Sep 23, 2014)

Change of boss means I'll be going to London more, which is fine if there are no delays, but yesterday I was delayed leaving Glasgow AND on arrival at Gatwick as a 777 was pushing back and some kind of pin broke in the pushback vehicle so it got stuck. We were then stuck waiting to get onto a stand for 30 minutes.

Fortunately not delayed on the way back but fucking hell don't people know how to wait to get off a plane? On both journeys when I was stood in the aisle waiting to get off two other people decided to also stand in the same space as me and constantly jostled me for space. To top this off tonight, when I was stood in the aisle two women in the aisle in front of me both turned round and said 'i need to get my case', which they'd stuck in the overhead lockers behind them, and then looked cross when I asked them where I should move to given they were blocking the aisle in front and there was a ton of people behind. One eventually decided to let me move out of the way but fuck's sake, doesn't anyone have common sense or manners anymore? 

God help me if I have to do that on a regular basis.


----------



## Onket (Sep 24, 2014)

Just stay in your seat until it's cleared a bit.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 24, 2014)

equationgirl said:


> Change of boss means I'll be going to London more, which is fine if there are no delays, but yesterday I was delayed leaving Glasgow AND on arrival at Gatwick as a 777 was pushing back and some kind of pin broke in the pushback vehicle so it got stuck. We were then stuck waiting to get onto a stand for 30 minutes.
> 
> Fortunately not delayed on the way back but fucking hell don't people know how to wait to get off a plane? On both journeys when I was stood in the aisle waiting to get off two other people decided to also stand in the same space as me and constantly jostled me for space. To top this off tonight, when I was stood in the aisle two women in the aisle in front of me both turned round and said 'i need to get my case', which they'd stuck in the overhead lockers behind them, and then looked cross when I asked them where I should move to given they were blocking the aisle in front and there was a ton of people behind. One eventually decided to let me move out of the way but fuck's sake, doesn't anyone have common sense or manners anymore?
> 
> God help me if I have to do that on a regular basis.


Get the train instead - it's only a five hour journey.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 24, 2014)

bloody northern line was buggered again this morning.

blargh.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 30, 2014)

A tresspasser on Stockport viaduct halted most trains out of Manchester at rush hour, given most of them go over the viaduct. I'm not sure what's going on, except that a woman is on the viaduct and the police and fire brigade are there. So much longer journeys for everyone heading south like me, as we've had to get on any train that bypasses the viaduct.


----------



## Santino (Oct 21, 2014)

Nothing much to say about today's commute.


----------



## Onket (Oct 21, 2014)

Hope it's more interesting tomorrow.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 21, 2014)

Working from home today, so the commute was 5 yards. Still managed to nearly fall over the fucking dog though.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 21, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Working from home today, so the commute was 5 yards. Still managed to nearly fall over the fucking dog though.



have you had a work related accident recently?...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 21, 2014)

Puddy_Tat said:


> have you had a work related accident recently?...



There's been no safety assessment on my working conditions. I'm gonna sue the boss


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 21, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> There's been no safety assessment on my working conditions. I'm gonna sue the boss



and no dog safety training course?

tsk


----------



## Onket (Oct 27, 2014)

Urgh.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 27, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> There's been no safety assessment on my working conditions. I'm gonna sue the boss


Take him to the cleaners


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 27, 2014)

My train was bang on time today. That'll mean it's only downhill from here.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 27, 2014)

no problems to report - got a seat on the train and the tube - all in all a good commute


----------



## Onket (Oct 27, 2014)

Fucking ridiculous bus diversion.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 27, 2014)

I am hoping for a trouble free return trip later


----------



## Onket (Oct 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> Fucking ridiculous bus diversion.


Clapham Common area.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> Clapham Common area.


 how much time was added to the commute?


----------



## Onket (Oct 27, 2014)

About 20 mins. 

Diversion will be in place for some time.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> About 20 mins.
> 
> Diversion will be in place for some time.


 #badtimes

I'm lucky - if everything is on-time, my commute is about 30 minutes usually - but if the tubes or trains are fucked - can take hours to get home


----------



## colacubes (Oct 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> About 20 mins.
> 
> Diversion will be in place for some time.



I got caught in that one 2 weeks ago on my way to an appointment.  I left 10 minutes earlier than I needed to (not knowing about the diversion) and ended up being 15 minutes late


----------



## Onket (Oct 27, 2014)

Just checked with the driver- diversion in place until the 9th of January.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 27, 2014)

Onket said:


> Just checked with the driver- diversion in place until the 9th of January.


 I'm guessing alternative options are limited?


----------



## Onket (Oct 27, 2014)

Correct.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 27, 2014)

I knew it! Train home was half an hour late into New Street, due to signalling problems.


----------



## Onket (Oct 28, 2014)

Congestion in the Three Bridges area followed by points problems between Selhurst and East Croydon.


----------



## hot air baboon (Oct 28, 2014)

...blissfully quiet and empty roads this week....can't we make home-schooling compulsory...?


----------



## Bob_the_lost (Oct 28, 2014)

8 hours in the car today. Dartford crossing gets you both ways....


----------



## davesgcr (Oct 29, 2014)

Onket said:


> Congestion in the Three Bridges area followed by points problems between Selhurst and East Croydon.




Just for a change ! - Brighton line is really suffering from these problems (as you may - and 50,000 others - have noticed)


----------



## Onket (Oct 30, 2014)

Signal problems, Selhurst area.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 30, 2014)

Working from home today, no problems with the commute


----------



## Onket (Oct 30, 2014)

You're lucky that you work for such a ground-breakingly progressive employer.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 30, 2014)

davesgcr said:


> Just for a change ! - Brighton line is really suffering from these problems (as you may - and 50,000 others - have noticed)



improved signalling system coming to the brighton line soon -


----------



## marty21 (Oct 30, 2014)

Onket said:


> You're lucky that you work for such a ground-breakingly progressive employer.


----------



## Santino (Oct 30, 2014)

Some delays caused by over-running engineering works but I wasn't too late and no one really takes much notice of when I arrive at work anyway.


----------



## davesgcr (Oct 30, 2014)

Had a long session with the Train Operators today about the Brighton line - we are hoping to improve things ..


----------



## Dan U (Oct 30, 2014)

davesgcr said:


> Had a long session with the Train Operators today about the Brighton line - we are hoping to improve things ..


Huge furore locally about the cuts to the Redhill line in January


----------



## davesgcr (Oct 30, 2014)

We were trying to get the timetable(s) to run better - there is much pain short term with the reduced capacity into London Bridge because of the rebuilding. Should get much better in time - appreciate the difficulties. Work in hand.


----------



## Dan U (Oct 30, 2014)

Fares higher than Oxted with less trains. People in  uproar. It's good to watch. It's the realisation that franchisees don't give a fuck in action


----------



## Bob_the_lost (Oct 31, 2014)

I've moved to a new part of the country, on the plus side my commute to my regular place of work is cut in half. On the down side when i have to go to the midlands it's now gone from a pleasant but long 2.5 hr drive each way to a 4 hr (again, each way) prolonged carparking activity over some nicely congested motorways.

I'm putting my foot down and refusing to drive past the watford gap ever again, they can pick up the taxi and train fares.


----------



## Poot (Oct 31, 2014)

Kids were playing chicken on the dual carriageway today. It was fucking terrifying


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 31, 2014)

Poot said:


> Kids were playing chicken on the dual carriageway today. It was fucking terrifying


Bloody idiots - what possesses people to be so fucking stupid.


----------



## Onket (Nov 3, 2014)

Caught behind a slower moving train in the Burgess Hill area.


----------



## Onket (Nov 4, 2014)

Points failure - Streatham area - Services subject to delays or cancellation. 

Train displayed as 'on time' currently, so we'll see.


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 5, 2014)

Onket said:


> Points failure - Streatham area - Services subject to delays or cancellation.
> 
> Train displayed as 'on time' currently, so we'll see.



Defective chug bolt at Streatham North Junction - for the record. Basically points are "f+++ed" and cannot switch.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 5, 2014)

Packed train tonight, and the train staff came into the carriage and in a rather panicked and urgent way asked if a blue holdall belonged to someone.  No-one said so, so god knows what was going on.


----------



## Onket (Nov 5, 2014)

davesgcr said:


> Defective chug bolt at Streatham North Junction - for the record. Basically points are "f+++ed" and cannot switch.


I don't I was delayed by much in the end, yesterday or today.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 5, 2014)

Onket said:


> Caught behind a slower moving train in the Burgess Hill area.



This fucks me off.  If you're on an intercity service, that train should have priority, and not some stupid local stopping service that holds everything else up because it goes at 10mph.  

Happened the other night - a twenty minutes late out of the station and we hobbled all the way behind these stupid slow trains.


----------



## Onket (Nov 5, 2014)

Can't overtake if the track isn't there.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 5, 2014)

Onket said:


> Can't overtake if the track isn't there.



They should be shunted into sidings or another line to wait until my train passes.  It is absurd to have a local service carrying perhaps 50 people holding up a number of intercity services each carrying hundreds.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 5, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> They should be shunted into sidings or another line to wait until my train passes.  It is absurd to have a local service carrying perhaps 50 people holding up a number of intercity services each carrying hundreds.



On much of the network, there aren't sidings or other lines to divert stopping trains on to.  Most sidings got 'rationalised' out of existence years ago.  And where there are fast and slow lines, trains tend to be segregated.

I'm sure most passengers would complain if their train got "shunted on to a siding" to allow another train to pass.  And many stopping services (certainly in SE England commuter land) carry a damn sight more passengers than longer distance services.

At one time, signallers (signal-men) would generally give priority to a slightly late 'express passenger train' even if it would make a 'stopping passenger train' a little bit later.  I'm not entirely sure of my facts here, but I think matters would get complicated if a network rail signaller decided to delay train operator A's local service that was ready to depart on time in order to accommodate train operator B's long distance service that was late.


----------



## Dogsauce (Nov 6, 2014)

It's got more buggered up since the network was fragmented at privatisation, since you can't take the 'common good' approach if it then adversely affects another companies targets.

For the same reason you don't get that thing where they used to hold back the last train of the day for a few minutes if a connecting express service was running a bit late, so that people would make the connection.  It's bullshit and works against the interest of passengers.


----------



## Onket (Nov 6, 2014)

I've missed my connection at Barnham so many times that I just don't go through there any more.

Why timetable a 5/6/7 minute change and advise people to use that route when 75% of times it's impossible?


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 6, 2014)

Dogsauce said:


> It's got more buggered up since the network was fragmented at privatisation, since you can't take the 'common good' approach if it then adversely affects another companies targets.
> 
> For the same reason you don't get that thing where they used to hold back the last train of the day for a few minutes if a connecting express service was running a bit late, so that people would make the connection.  It's bullshit and works against the interest of passengers.



No, common sense still applies on "the last train" - there are principles of course - i.e up to 10 /15 or so minutes. If missed, and if you have a valid ticket - then a taxi is in order.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 10, 2014)

Train home late as usual, so they seem to have adopted the winter timetable. The timetable when they just turn up when they bloody like.


----------



## Onket (Nov 10, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Train home late as usual, so they seem to have adopted the winter timetable. The timetable when they just turn up when they bloody like.


Yes, that's what's happening- they're turning up when they like!


----------



## Onket (Nov 11, 2014)

Signal problems - Preston Park area.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 11, 2014)

Half and hour late into the New Street again tonight. The PA was inaudible as it was just mumbling so no one had a clue what was going on. Replatformed twice in the space of a few minutes. The fuckers.


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 11, 2014)

Signal staff are supposed to "regulate" to reduce overall delay - the bad news is that in the b***ks of a privatised railway (amended to basically say it is all Government owned or funded) - money changes hands from Network Rail to operators for delay minutes , so a person who shunts a train for another - may get these delays blamed to him / her - and gets a rocket for that. They have "delay targets".

Back in the day - delays were "understood" by local managers - and the worse that would happen was a "conversation" - today it can sometimes lead to worse. I myself got it wrong once or twice - today , signal regulators do not take the risk.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 11, 2014)

Has anyone been to Birmingham New Street recently? They've installed these hugely annoying talking boxes with a projection of a woman patronising passengers non stop. For example "the lift is like a pantomime - it's behind you". Fuck off!   

I want to push them down the escalators - see how fucking chirpy it is then.


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 11, 2014)

They had one a St Albans - thank God it has gone....,


----------



## Sapphireblue (Nov 13, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Has anyone been to Birmingham New Street recently? They've installed these hugely annoying talking boxes with a projection of a woman patronising passengers non stop. For example "the lift is like a pantomime - it's behind you". Fuck off!
> 
> I want to push them down the escalators - see how fucking chirpy it is then.



oh God yes. they are awful and if you get too close to them they start talking at you.


----------



## Onket (Nov 14, 2014)

Yesterday was a fucking nightmare of a bastard commute. It started to go wrong when I answered a call 10 mins before I was supposed to finish work and was still on the phone half an hour later. Missed the train, obviously.

Got a train to East Croydon and waited 15 mins for a direct service and had to stand until Burgess Hill. There were a few unknown stops including an unscheduled stop at Gatwick where the announcement was basically "I don't know why we're stopped".

When we got going again they announced the service was being changed and several station stops being cancelled, including mine.

Got off at Worthing and waited 20 mins for a local train with no toilets to limp me back to my station. Got there at 19:52 instead of 19:12. I have been delayed longer than this in the past so could be worse.

Went to unlock my bike to ride home and the back wheel had been pinched. Taxi home, ate cold dinner and got in the car to drive back to the station to get the bike carcass. Taxi to the station again this morning because the rain was lashing down. Hopefully I can get a new wheel, tyre & inner tube before Monday.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 15, 2014)

Another chaotic journey on Thursday night - cancellations due to bad weather in Devon, and a broken down train in Runcorn causing all Liverpool-bound passengers to get on the trains to Manchester.  They're usually busy in the evening peak, but this was madness - standing room right throughout, including vestibules and toilets.  Managed to squeeze into the first class carriage and you could tell the people who had paid for a first class ticket weren't impressed by us plebs invading.   Took me two and half hours to get home.  

Curiously, they had a full ticket check at Manchester Piccadilly last night with immigration officers there too - not sure why as unless they were looking for specific people a ticket check wouldn't confirm whether anyone wasn't supposed to be in the UK.


----------



## coley (Nov 15, 2014)

Like this thread, makes me realise how lucky I am, longest commute I do these days is about 400 yds
Onket farmerbarleymow


----------



## Onket (Nov 15, 2014)

coley said:


> Like this thread, makes me realise how lucky I am, longest commute I do these days is about 400 yds
> Onket farmerbarleymow


I always presumed you were retired, old man.


----------



## coley (Nov 15, 2014)

Onket said:


> I always presumed you were retired, old man.



Semi retired me young sprog, diversifying as one does


----------



## magneze (Nov 17, 2014)

Started to drive in. Unable to get out of Tooting. Get train. Also fucked. Anyone got a jetpack?


----------



## Dogsauce (Nov 23, 2014)

Slightly late out of KX due to late arrival of stock on an incoming service, then the signaller sent a stopper ahead of us on the Hertford Loop. Meant I had an extra 25 mins in a crowded coach with a group of Geordie ladies with annoying loud laughs and some fuckwit with that Samsung ringtone going off every five minutes.


----------



## Onket (Nov 24, 2014)

Starting 8-4s at work which means the 05:33 train. 

If there are no delays after all that rain at the weekend I'll be very surprised.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 24, 2014)

My train is running to time...so far.


----------



## machine cat (Nov 24, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Another chaotic journey on Thursday night - cancellations due to bad weather in Devon, and a broken down train in Runcorn causing all Liverpool-bound passengers to get on the trains to Manchester.  They're usually busy in the evening peak, but this was madness - standing room right throughout, including vestibules and toilets.  Managed to squeeze into the first class carriage and you could tell the people who had paid for a first class ticket weren't impressed by us plebs invading.   Took me two and half hours to get home.
> 
> Curiously, they had a full ticket check at Manchester Piccadilly last night with immigration officers there too - not sure why as unless they were looking for specific people a ticket check wouldn't confirm whether anyone wasn't supposed to be in the UK.



Immigration officers could be doing the same what BTP do with their sniffer dogs in Leeds... waiting for someone to clock them and act nervous.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 24, 2014)

machine cat said:


> Immigration officers could be doing the same what BTP do with their sniffer dogs in Leeds... waiting for someone to clock them and act nervous.


True enough.


----------



## hot air baboon (Nov 24, 2014)

...bit of work required with the ice scraper this morning and the car engine took a bit of coaxing ( sorry neighbours ) but on the plus side a stunningly clear starry night last night...incredible bright star field by London standards - could just make out the orion nebula with the naked eye - & amazing with bins....even more so when Saturday night had been this weird blade-runner-like orange foggy gloom...


----------



## ska invita (Nov 24, 2014)

Onket said:


> Starting 8-4s at work which means the 05:33 train.
> 
> If there are no delays after all that rain at the weekend I'll be very surprised.


your commute is 2hrs30 each way?


----------



## Onket (Nov 24, 2014)

No, it's a 20 min or so cycle to the station first.  More like 3hrs each way (hence the title of the thread and me always looking for music to download to my phone!).


----------



## marty21 (Nov 24, 2014)

8.43 was 2 mins late this morning

#WorstCommuteEver


----------



## Mapped (Nov 24, 2014)

I'm missing my 5 min drive to work in Aus 

15 min delays on the viccy line this morning. I need to get working from home sorted ASAP


----------



## ska invita (Nov 24, 2014)

Onket said:


> No, it's a 20 min or so cycle to the station first.  More like 3hrs each way (hence the title of the thread and me always looking for music to download to my phone!).


fuck


----------



## Onket (Nov 24, 2014)

Yep.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 24, 2014)

Onket said:


> No, it's a 20 min or so cycle to the station first.  More like 3hrs each way (hence the title of the thread and me always looking for music to download to my phone!).


I think you should quit the rat race and turn to self-sufficiency, like in The Good Life. I can imagine you keeping pigs and goats for some reason.


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 24, 2014)

0724 cancelled this am , previous train should be 8 cars , (was 4 - and has been for weeks) - 0733 therefore carrying 2+ train loads. Great start to a nice frosty morning. I could be retired ....

This evening - epic crush loading due to "trespassers on the line"  - I feel a Meldrow moment. (home now - tommorrow is another day in "paradise")


----------



## Zack Murray (Nov 25, 2014)

i chuckle imagining the sheer stress-induced breakdown it took for this man to collapse and eat a full meal in the subway (red line) last weekend


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 25, 2014)

balls-up on the line here.

might be worth setting off in half an hour or so.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 25, 2014)

Two days running my trains are running pretty much to time - there must be something wrong.


----------



## Onket (Nov 25, 2014)

I don't know what time my train is supposed to get in but I've been in the office for 07:35 yesterday and 07:40 today so that's good enough.

I still need to put in my 'delay repay' claim for that proper delay the other week when my bike wheel got pinched. Should do it today really. In work time, obviously.


----------



## Onket (Nov 25, 2014)

Zack Murray said:


> i chuckle imagining the sheer stress-induced breakdown it took for this man to collapse and eat a full meal in the subway (red line) last weekend


Looks like he's snorting it.


----------



## High Voltage (Nov 25, 2014)

no more commutes for me till the new year - Hoorah!

On the down side they've stopped the travelling chef on the 6.39 service from Castle Cary to Paddington so, if I was still travelling to London I'd not be able to have my breakfast on the train any more and you could tell that they were running this service down as for the last couple of weeks the cooker that they used for frying eggs (2 eggs on toast (white) if you're interested) was broken so I had to resort to scrambled eggs on toast which could be cooked on a different piece of kit

*fist/sky oscillation interface


----------



## Onket (Nov 25, 2014)

I don't think I've ever been on a train with a chef on it. The food has always been microwavable.


----------



## High Voltage (Nov 25, 2014)

I found out that the difference between 1st and 2nd class on that train was less than £10 - so I made the middle management decision to upgrade myself to 1st class


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 25, 2014)

the 'live departures' feed needs an upgrade.

an interface with alarm clock would mean if the train service is completely buggered, it would let you have an extra hour in bed.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 26, 2014)

another day, another large scale cock up on the transport front


----------



## Onket (Nov 27, 2014)

Got tomorrow off. Quite pleased.


----------



## Onket (Dec 4, 2014)

Must have left my book on the train the other day. Can't find it anywhere.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 4, 2014)

I've got the whole carriage to myself at the moment. If only it'd stay like that.


----------



## Onket (Dec 4, 2014)

It's because you smell.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 4, 2014)

Delayed this morning. Only the fast lines were open out of Manchester so we had to follow a local stopping service which held us up. No idea why the slow lines are closed.


----------



## marty21 (Dec 4, 2014)

4 carriages instead of 8 this morning, but I was a little late so the train wasn't too packed and i got a seat


----------



## fractionMan (Dec 9, 2014)

3/4 hour late this morning 

My commute will soon be a 20 minute cycle instead of an hour and a half train to london followed by the tube


----------



## Onket (Dec 9, 2014)

fractionMan said:


> 3/4 hour late this morning
> 
> My commute will soon be a 20 minute cycle instead of an hour and a half train to london followed by the tube


Pint before you stop coming to Lahnden?


----------



## fractionMan (Dec 9, 2014)

Onket said:


> Pint before you stop coming to Lahnden?



I'm on my way home right now and I don't think I'll be back for a while.  Next time I'm up I'll give you a prod, I think my new job may well send me to the big city once in a while


----------



## fractionMan (Dec 9, 2014)

I think the most pissed I've ever been in london was with you


----------



## Onket (Dec 9, 2014)

Excellent. 

I promise not to take a photo of you at the urinal next time.


----------



## fractionMan (Dec 9, 2014)

I'd forgotten about that


----------



## Onket (Dec 11, 2014)

Bloke next to me is reading the Metro online on his tablet. If you had access to all the newspapers and magazines in the world, why would you read the Metro?!


----------



## Onket (Dec 11, 2014)

He's now moved on to the Sun.


----------



## StoneRoad (Dec 11, 2014)

Hope the gritters get here soon - the overnight snow / slush is making drivers go all over the place. (Live near road junction on a hill and watching is "entertaining" as even some 4wd jockeys don't know how to drive in snow !!)


----------



## Epico (Dec 11, 2014)

Onket said:


> Bloke next to me is reading the Metro online on his tablet. If you had access to all the newspapers and magazines in the world, why would you read the Metro?!


Did he leave his tablet on the seat for the next person? That seems to be the etiquette.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 12, 2014)

Even given the current state of the transport system, I still cannot believe how many trains I have had cancelled, severely delayed or halved in length in the last 2-3 weeks.  Pretty much every day there has been at least one of those things happening.  What the fuck is going on?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 12, 2014)

Two annoying blokes just a couple of seats ahead of me - talking and laughing really loudly. Shut the fuck up you cunts.


----------



## Dogsauce (Dec 12, 2014)

I am still unable to sit in a carriage on a single train journey (or on a coach) ever without someone having that fucking whistling text alert on their shit samsung phone going off several times a minute.  It's always that one, I imagine because people who can't change the default text alert sound are the same ones who can't figure out how to put their phones on silent, and seem for some reason to be disproportionately Samsung owners.  Don't know why it makes me feel so punchy, might be the similarity to the McDonalds jingle.


----------



## Onket (Dec 12, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Two annoying blokes just a couple of seats ahead of me - talking and laughing really loudly. Shut the fuck up you cunts.


This is how other posters feel about you on the alerts thread.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 12, 2014)

Onket said:


> This is how other posters feel about you on the alerts thread.



Shut it.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 12, 2014)

Dogsauce said:


> I am still unable to sit in a carriage on a single train journey (or on a coach) ever without someone having that fucking whistling text alert on their shit samsung phone going off several times a minute.  It's always that one, I imagine because people who can't change the default text alert sound are the same ones who can't figure out how to put their phones on silent, and seem for some reason to be disproportionately Samsung owners.  Don't know why it makes me feel so punchy, might be the similarity to the McDonalds jingle.



That infuriates me, along with the clown horn one.  Keypad tones are equally annoying too - I want to ram the phone up their arse.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 12, 2014)

has anyone else noticed the thread title contains all the letters of 'brand'? 
fucking nightmare of a bastard commute

there's a b, r, a, n & d in there


----------



## kabbes (Dec 12, 2014)

I've been stuck on a train going nowhere for 30 minutes now. Train broken down at Epsom apparently, as if that's in any way an excuse.  Shitty run down failure of a train network.

Seriously, can I have just one single day when I can get to work and back without anything happening? No, apparently I cant.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 16, 2014)

This train couldn't be any hotter if it was on fire. Turn the fucking heating down you twats - it's not even cold outside.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2014)

I like a nice hot train.

Just strip off a few layers and relax.

Cold trains are far worse than cosy hot ones


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2014)

Anyway, two more schleps into town and that's me done for 2014


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 16, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I like a nice hot train.
> 
> Just strip off a few layers and relax.
> 
> Cold trains are far worse than cosy hot ones



Cold is GOOD.  Hot is BAD.  

I'm home now, but I couldn't strip off any more clothes without getting arrested. Could always smash one of the windows with the emergency hammer I suppose.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2014)

I thought you was Manc, not some Geordie?

Any way, fuckin' northern monkey, etc.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 16, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I thought you was Manc, not some Geordie?
> 
> Any way, fuckin' northern monkey, etc.



Neither - I'm a Smoggie, you soft southern twat.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2014)

A Smoggie?


----------



## tommers (Dec 16, 2014)

Boro.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Dec 17, 2014)

stuck somewhere near staines due to signal failure.

consolation is that by the time i get to clapham junction, the failed train there might have got sorted out.

blargh.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 17, 2014)

kabbes said:


> I've been stuck on a train going nowhere for 30 minutes now. Train broken down at Epsom apparently, as if that's in any way an excuse.  Shitty run down failure of a train network.
> 
> Seriously, can I have just one single day when I can get to work and back without anything happening? No, apparently I cant.


They threw us all off at Epsom in the end. It took me over 3 hours to get home that night, plus an extra £25 in taxi fares


----------



## Dan U (Dec 17, 2014)

kabbes said:


> They threw us all off at Epsom in the end. It took me over 3 hours to get home that night, plus an extra £25 in taxi fares



which should be reclaimable.

I got from Carlisle to Dorking without a hitch the other week. Some days you can't go a fraction of the distance without it taking ages.


----------



## marty21 (Dec 17, 2014)

I had to go on a short rail journey with a colleague who I don't know - just a couple of stops (St Pancras Thameslink to West Hampstead) on the way to the station I said we'd be taking the Thameslink, rather than the tube

He replied
'You know the problem with London Transport don't you?'
I said, no I didn't'
'It's run by a bunch of cunts, that's what's wrong' 

he then said something about getting fucked by them as his train from Woolwich wasn't stopping at Cannon St anymore

He needs to get on this thread


----------



## kabbes (Dec 17, 2014)

Dan U said:


> which should be reclaimable.
> 
> I got from Carlisle to Dorking without a hitch the other week. Some days you can't go a fraction of the distance without it taking ages.


Yeah, I've put in a claim but who knows what they end up actually giving you, if anything?


----------



## Onket (Dec 17, 2014)

kabbes said:
			
		

> Yeah, I've put in a claim but who knows what they end up actually giving you, if anything?


I find they pay out if you claim within their time limits. Never claimed for extras like taxis, though.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 17, 2014)

I don't think I can get compensation for the actual journey because I have a season ticket, or some such nonsense.

They probably won't pay the taxi but I genuinely had no option other than to walk for 10 miles.  They really are a bunch of gangsters.

 They tell us that it is because of a broken down train like that's an actual excuse. It's their fucking rolling stock!


----------



## Onket (Dec 18, 2014)

That doesn't seem right. I'm sure there's an option on the Southern website for season ticket.It should be standard across the companies.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 18, 2014)

What I get is a discount on next year's season ticket depending on how many bad days Southwest Trains have clocked up over a year. So you could have got lucky and had hardly any delays and still get a discount, or you could be the poor sap who's hit every time the trains go wonky. I guess it works out on average. And for some reason the guy in the ticket office in May spent 10 minutes faffing about and then gave me twenty quid in hard cash. Still no idea why.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 18, 2014)

Yeah, and the approach taken to the calculation is bullshit.  Imagine you have a commuter train to Waterloo that arrives at 9 stops on time then is 30 minutes late into Waterloo itself.  Almost every passenger on that train is going all the way to Waterloo, so I would think a good 95% of its passengers are now 30 minutes late. But in the stats, that train contributes to the train company being 90% on time, because it was at 9/10 of its stops on time.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 18, 2014)

At the start of the year I was coming in from Shepperton, during the month of January not one day ran well. Most days it was the out and back trains that went to shit. I was livid and wanted to complain, but was travelling on a ticket that wasn't valid from Shepperton and only kicked in from Hampton (start of zone 6), so had to resort to a lot of tutting instead.


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

Set out from work at 5. 5.47 at shepherds bush was cancelled. Next train was delayed so I missed the 6.15 at clapham.

They've now cancelled the 6.30 and 6.44.

That'll be a 2 1/2 hour trip then. 

Fucking shitcunts.


----------



## Onket (Dec 18, 2014)

Getting home is way fucking worse. I've dulled the pain today with a couple of cans of strong Polish lager and a couple of cans of decent 5% lager. 

This won't help Our Lass when I get in, though.


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

I saw a man opening a can of Stella. I wanted to mug him


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

This is no way to spend your fucking life.


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

I should be on a beach somewhere, sipping a daiquiri.

I don't even know what that is.


----------



## Onket (Dec 18, 2014)

They taste horrible. You might like them if you like tequila, though.


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

Nah, if you need salt to make a drink palatable then something's wrong.

I'm sure the beach bar would have quite the selection anyway.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 18, 2014)

kabbes said:


> I don't think I can get compensation for the actual journey because I have a season ticket, or some such nonsense.
> 
> They probably won't pay the taxi but I genuinely had no option other than to walk for 10 miles.  They really are a bunch of gangsters.
> 
> They tell us that it is because of a broken down train like that's an actual excuse. It's their fucking rolling stock!



For season tickets you do get compensation for delays over the set threshhold - I think the threshhold varies depending on the journey length normally.  This is in addition to any void day scheme in operation on the actual cost of the season ticket.  

So if I travelled Manchester-London, I'd be entitled to compensation if it was 30 minutes or more late if I remember rightly.  They then work it out based on your season ticket, and unsurprisingly use a formula which is to their advantage.  I've not checked for a while, but I think it is something like a simple substraction of weekend days and they then assume that the holder travels every weekday, so about 260 days.  So cost of season ticket / 260 = fuck all.  And to add insult to injury the usually insist on paying it in bloody rail vouchers.


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

Oh I forgot the best bit of tonight's commute: the posh kids at clapham junction. Tottering about in their high heels like doe-eyed little fawns just out of their mummies' tummies.

"It doesn't even FEEL like London any more!"

Its the busiest station in London and its in zone 2 you bellends.


----------



## Onket (Dec 18, 2014)

I'm sorry but I can't get angry about 'doe-eyed little fawns in high heels'. They are to be encouraged.


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

Onket said:


> I'm sorry but I can't get angry about 'doe-eyed little fawns in high heels'. They are to be encouraged.


When I said they were the best bit I meant it.  I wasn't being sarcastic.  They made me laugh.


----------



## Onket (Dec 18, 2014)

Do a Stanley Edwards and get photos?


----------



## tommers (Dec 18, 2014)

Onket said:


> Do a Stanley Edwards and get photos?


Clapham Junction at 6pm isn't the time or place for photos. 

And it would have been a bit creep.... Oh right.


----------



## Onket (Dec 19, 2014)

Stuck at a red signal because we're following a stationary service at Burgess Hill.


----------



## Onket (Dec 19, 2014)

Now been announced as a signal failure at Burgess Hill.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 19, 2014)

Onket said:


> Stuck at a red signal because we're following a stationary service at Burgess Hill.


How can you follow a stopped train?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 19, 2014)

Rolled out of bed at 0855 and went in to the room next door and fired up the puter. Fucking dream of a working-from-home commute


----------



## 5t3IIa (Dec 19, 2014)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Rolled out of bed at 0855 and went in to the room next door and fired up the puter. Fucking dream of a working-from-home commute


You had a bacon sammich delivery offered? "No thanks, I'm all baconned out"


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 19, 2014)

5t3IIa said:


> You had a bacon sammich delivery offered? "No thanks, I'm all baconned out"



She's nipped out to Sainsbury's for crusty rolls and apple-smoked bacon


----------



## Dogsauce (Dec 19, 2014)

Driving around various National Grid sites in the North West yesterday, finishing in New Mills which is in the arse end of nowhere, having just made it before it got dark despite the best efforts of the school run, stopping buses and old people in Micras wearing speed-retarding hats.

I took Woodhead Road home to Leeds, a hilly route over the peak district/Pennines rather attempt the longer and bullshit-filled drive via the M62.  Piss wet everywhere, lots of big puddles (I'd hasten to describe them as floods) Came over Holme Moss (as seen on the tdf day 2 earlier in the year) in clouds and low visibility, and as I came down the other side and out of the clouds nearly ploughed straight into a landslip across about a third of the road.  Glad I wasn't pelting along or that the clouds weren't lower.  Full beam on a Kia Cee'd (hire car for the day) is a bit shit too, but just enough warning to swerve round and bump over a bit of soil/rock that had spread into the other lane.


----------



## Onket (Dec 19, 2014)

farmerbarleymow said:


> How can you follow a stopped train?


We were stopped too.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 19, 2014)

Onket said:


> We were stopped too.



So you were both parked on the line, rather than following the train as in trundling down the track behind the other train also trundling ahead of you.


----------



## Onket (Dec 19, 2014)

I didn't make the announcement, but in any event it's not difficult to understand.


----------



## Onket (Dec 22, 2014)

Train very quiet today.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 22, 2014)

Onket said:


> Train very quiet today.



You'll probably have a good week as loads of people will be off.  Hope the engineering works aren't affecting your line - that was one of the reasons why I booked these two weeks off as I really can't be arsed with loads of delays.


----------



## Onket (Dec 22, 2014)

They're concentrating on London Bridge and I get the Victoria train so hopefully should be ok.

Couldn't book this week as well as between Christmas and New Year and coming in then isn't really an option. 

Hope you enjoy your time off.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 22, 2014)

I'm also now off until 5 January. I really feel I need it -- it's been brutal for the last 6 weeks at least.

Hurray for Holidaymas!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 5, 2015)

physically unable to get on train at clapham junction as too full (i usually get the train 5 minutes earlier that twickenham-ites won't get and change on to the reading train at twickenham, but was late leaving work)

on the following train which has broke down at richmond and nothing can pass it.

aaaaaaaaargh.


----------



## Onket (Jan 5, 2015)

Unlucky. 

I'm back to travelling through Clapham Junction twice a day on Wednesday.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 5, 2015)

Was a bit late getting home tonight - emergency engineering works at Tiverton Parkway, wherever that actually is, buggering up the rest of the line. A train pulled into New Street, then promptly cancelled without them telling us on the platform, then replatformed twice. I helped a woman in her 80s with her bags as she was struggling with them sending us back and forth.  I had almost forgotten the joys of rail travel.


----------



## Pickman's model (Jan 5, 2015)

the bus was swift and only 3/4 full on the top deck.


----------



## Boppity (Jan 5, 2015)

I've recently started commuting into Manchester for work.

I. Hate. It.

I was in London over the weekend and I literally wouldn't be able to cope living there and commuting.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 6, 2015)

Boppity said:


> I was in London over the weekend and I literally wouldn't be able to cope living there and commuting.


Living there and commuting wouldn't be so bad -- just the tube and no trains.  You want to try _not _living there and commuting.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 6, 2015)

Boppity said:


> I've recently started commuting into Manchester for work.
> 
> I. Hate. It.
> 
> I was in London over the weekend and I literally wouldn't be able to cope living there and commuting.


It's about an hour on the train for you isn't it? Depends on how far you've got to travel to get to Lime Street or another station on the line I suppose. I've no idea what the train service is like on that route - wouldn't surprise me if it's rammed all the time. 

Re London though - it always made me laugh when I used to commute from Manchester when I got on the tube at Euston in winter and the natives were wrapped up like Eskimos, when I wasn't even wearing a coat. Bless the soft southerners.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 6, 2015)

Being soft is a good thing. It shows you have a nice, easy life. Who wouldn't want that?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 6, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Being soft is a good thing. It shows you have a nice, easy life. Who wouldn't want that?


It also means you have to spend more money on clothes to keep warm.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 6, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> It also means you have to spend more money on clothes to keep warm.


I dont think I bought a single item of clothing in 2014.

Besides, part of the point of the easy life is that you can afford those clothes.


----------



## Onket (Jan 6, 2015)

Tightfisted northerns like barleymow will come up with any excuse to not spend money.


----------



## Boppity (Jan 6, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> It's about an hour on the train for you isn't it? Depends on how far you've got to travel to get to Lime Street or another station on the line I suppose. I've no idea what the train service is like on that route - wouldn't surprise me if it's rammed all the time.
> 
> Re London though - it always made me laugh when I used to commute from Manchester when I got on the tube at Euston in winter and the natives were wrapped up like Eskimos, when I wasn't even wearing a coat. Bless the soft southerners.



I'm not in Liverpool anymore, I lived there as a student. Where I am it takes about 40 minutes because I take the slow train to Deansgate. It's not bad in the morning because I leave early but at 5pm it's a nightmare, absolutely rammed. Often people are left on the platform because there isn't enough space on the train.


----------



## Onket (Jan 6, 2015)

Broken Britain.


----------



## boohoo (Jan 6, 2015)

Here is my sister's short comic about the bus commute:

http://hannahleemiller.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/the-commute.html


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 6, 2015)

Onket said:


> Tightfisted northerns like barleymow will come up with any excuse to not spend money.


I wear a mankini on my commute _on principle._


----------



## fishfinger (Jan 6, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I wear a mankini on my commute _on principle._


You just enjoy ruining everyone else's day, don't you?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

25 minute delay due to slippery rails 


Still, balmy morning to sit around for half an hour...


----------



## Onket (Jan 7, 2015)

First day back for me today. No delays but the train was rammed.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

25 minutes my arse


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

The 0735 is supposed to go to Waterloo, currently a mere 83 minutes late and will now terminate at Guildford, which is handy as trains from Guildford to Waterloo must come up the same line and the next two, well the 0745 has vanished and then the 0853 is fucked, 0925 delayed...



So January 2015 is turning out to be as bang on for SWT as 2014


----------



## tommers (Jan 7, 2015)

Got to Shepherd's Bush last night - signal problems at Shepherd's Bush so no Overground trains.
Got to Clapham Junction this morning - signal problems at Willesden Junction so no Overground trains.

"Your tickets will be valid on alternate routes"

Check Oyster and I've been charged £7.50 to get home, instead of £3.40 and £7.50 to get in this morning.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> So January 2015 is turning out to be as bang on for SWT as 2014



'83' is such a weird number when used for times


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

20 minutes???


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 20 minutes???



_Ninety-nine _minutes.

You don't need to lay it on so thick, I believe you


----------



## Onket (Jan 7, 2015)

Photoshop.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

5t3IIa said:


> _Ninety-nine _minutes.
> 
> You don't need to lay it on so thick, I believe you



And it's terminating in fucking Woking!!!

Has that woman I went to LA with rolled in yet?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

Onket said:


> Photoshop.




5t3IIa knows me better than that.












(not that I wouldn't 'shop it, more that I _couldn't_ 'shop it!)


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> And it's terminating a fucking Woking!!!
> 
> Has that woman I went to LA with rolled in yet?



Anna? Not seen her.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

5t3IIa said:


> Anna? Not seen her.



Babs?

If Anna was due in today, I'd probably have made it in


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 7, 2015)

Onket said:


> Photoshop.


Really, he couldn't. He could _try, _but not fool anyone


----------



## Onket (Jan 7, 2015)

Anna is with me.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Babs?



Ah, nope!


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 7, 2015)

Onket said:


> Anna is with me.



Do you have those swallows on you?


----------



## Onket (Jan 7, 2015)

Babs is here too.

We're twiddling our thumbs waiting for you Bahnhof Strasse.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 7, 2015)

Don't get excited, Onket it's not that great.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

Onket said:


> Babs is here too.
> 
> We're twiddling our thumbs waiting for you Bahnhof Strasse.



The pair of 'em are from up norf. Fill yer boots Onket


----------



## kabbes (Jan 7, 2015)

It's not just my imagination, is it? It really is getting worse and worse every year, right?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 7, 2015)

kabbes said:


> It's not just my imagination, is it? It really is getting worse and worse every year, right?


It is - the pile of shite that is the train service just keeps on getting shittier.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 7, 2015)

kabbes said:


> It's not just my imagination, is it? It really is getting worse and worse every year, right?



Yes, £3.6k a year for a ticket I only use 3 days a week maximum and on the days I do need to be in the office they make me work from home.


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 7, 2015)

tommers said:


> Got to Shepherd's Bush last night - signal problems at Shepherd's Bush so no Overground trains.
> Got to Clapham Junction this morning - signal problems at Willesden Junction so no Overground trains.
> 
> "Your tickets will be valid on alternate routes"
> ...




To test the bounds of reality - the problem is salt contamination (yes in NW10) - buggering the track circuits - so no signals (despite some hardy souls jet washing the track all night - to not much avail) -


----------



## tommers (Jan 7, 2015)

Yeah, its still shut. "Too much salt on the line" heard it all now.

What does that even mean?  Has there been a spill or something?


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 7, 2015)

tommers said:


> Yeah, its still shut. "Too much salt on the line" heard it all now.
> 
> What does that even mean?  Has there been a spill or something?




Obviously the signalling works of electric currents - somehow - the track has been contaminated in the Mitre Bridge area - salty brine conducts electricity - signals go back to red. Trains cannot run. It is not incompetence - somehow the system  has been compromised - and people were out all night trying to sort it.  Merely passing on information and actions - (it is quite rare though )


----------



## tommers (Jan 7, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Obviously the signalling works of electric currents - somehow - the track has been contaminated in the Mitre Bridge area - salty brine conducts electricity - signals go back to red. Trains cannot run. It is not incompetence - somehow the system  has been compromised - and people were out all night trying to sort it.  Merely passing on information and actions - (it is quite rare though )


No, thanks for the info. I'm sure they're working hard.  I just wondered how that would happen.  I know you get salt when it rains (as my bike can testify) but never heard of that one before.


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 7, 2015)

tommers said:


> No, thanks for the info. I'm sure they're working hard.  I just wondered how that would happen.  I know you get salt when it rains (as my bike can testify) but never heard of that one before.



A level crossing was involved - so a gritting lorry leaking a load I suspect ....


----------



## Boppity (Jan 7, 2015)

Working in London tomorrow. Nooooooooooo.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jan 7, 2015)

tommers said:


> No, thanks for the info. I'm sure they're working hard.  I just wondered how that would happen.  I know you get salt when it rains (as my bike can testify) but never heard of that one before.


I would like to hear your bike testifying to getting salt when it rains. Rain is not salty. Salted roads might spray up salty water from tyres after gritting when wet but it is not the rain that is salty.


----------



## Onket (Jan 7, 2015)

Boppity said:


> Working in London tomorrow. Nooooooooooo.



Good luck!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 8, 2015)

Hocus Eye. said:


> I would like to hear your bike testifying to getting salt when it rains. Rain is not salty. Salted roads might spray up salty water from tyres after gritting when wet but it is not the rain that is salty.


[pedant]
Rainwater is very slightly salty, as a lot if seawater is blown into to atmosphere. When the water evaporates the remaining salt crystals form nucleation particles that are an essential part of cloud formation.  
[/pedant]


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 8, 2015)

Wasn't there some frost last week? Perhaps there was some salting and it then rained and swilled it into the signals?


----------



## Boppity (Jan 8, 2015)

Onket said:


> Good luck!


I actually had a fairly okay day of it, walked as much as possible to avoid the tubes.

Although at 6pm on my way to Euston it was manic.

Safely on my train home now! Phew what a long day!


----------



## kabbes (Jan 9, 2015)

Dorking train AGAIN effectively cancelled yesterday.  I mean,  it eventually left Waterloo 20 minutes late and arrived 30 minutes late,  so it might as well have been cancelled. 

That train is cancelled on a shamefully regular basis.  A 90 minute commute suddenly turns into a 2 hour commute.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 9, 2015)

This is how trains should be all the time - a carriage for each passenger.


----------



## Onket (Jan 9, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Dorking train AGAIN effectively cancelled yesterday.  I mean,  it eventually left Waterloo 20 minutes late and arrived 30 minutes late,  so it might as well have been cancelled.
> 
> That train is cancelled on a shamefully regular basis.  A 90 minute commute suddenly turns into a 2 hour commute.


90 mins seems quite a long time to go from Waterloo to Dorking anyway, doesn't it?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 9, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Dorking train AGAIN effectively cancelled yesterday.  I mean,  it eventually left Waterloo 20 minutes late and arrived 30 minutes late,  so it might as well have been cancelled.
> 
> That train is cancelled on a shamefully regular basis.  A 90 minute commute suddenly turns into a 2 hour commute.



i have always thought that 'dorking' ought to be a slang term for something rude.  as in 'i gave him a good dorking last night'


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 9, 2015)

Onket said:


> 90 mins seems quite a long time to go from Waterloo to Dorking anyway, doesn't it?



I believe the venerable kabbes is including travel from Docklands and onwards to his hillbilly mansion in his 90 minutes, m'lud.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 9, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I believe the venerable kabbes is including travel from Docklands and onwards to his hillbilly mansion in his 90 minutes, m'lud.


 I am indeed, but I am in the City now, not the Docklands.  That used to take 75 minutes when I started the commute 7 or 8 years ago but I now count on it taking 90.  Except when it takes 2 hours, of course.

The Waterloo-Dorking train itself is supposed to take 45-55 minutes (and typically 52 minutes) but in practice it almost always takes over an hour.  And that's a joke in itself.  The equivalent train from, say, Euston to Watford takes well less than 30 minutes and Watford is its first stop.  But south of the river, we only seem to get trains that stop at every last blasted station, no matter how unused.  And on top of that, we get 2 trains an hour from Waterloo to Dorking, rather than the 4, 6 or even 8 that might be expected. 

If the trains were half empty, you could understand it.  But these trains are generally standing room only well before they've even got a third of the way to Waterloo and by the time they get into Wimbledon, say, it's a real crush. 

The whole system is massively oversubscribed.  And it's getting worse.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 9, 2015)

It is shite, plus you have those nasty red trains with the un-comfy seats, at least when my train does arrive it's a nice white one with comfy seats, a nice chap selling beers and free wi-fi


----------



## Winot (Jan 9, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> i have always thought that 'dorking' ought to be a slang term for something rude.  as in 'i gave him a good dorking last night'



See also "Mr Jolly lives next door":

- Take him out.  Right out.
- Right out? Like Dorking?


----------



## kabbes (Jan 9, 2015)

A dorking is a type of cock, as every good local schoolkid knows.


----------



## Onket (Jan 12, 2015)

Overslept. At station waiting for the 06:50 but should have been on the 05:33.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 12, 2015)

Train running to time but the lights keep going out and there's a bloke with very hairy hands reading the Daily Mail next to me.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Jan 12, 2015)

Onket said:


> Overslept. At station waiting for the 06:50 but should have been on the 05:33.


I admire your fortitude. I struggle to get up for the 7:56am, and that gets me in late.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 12, 2015)

I get the 07:31. I can't even imagine getting to the station before 6am every morning.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 12, 2015)

kabbes said:


> I get the 07:31. I can't even imagine getting to the station before 6am every morning.


I much prefer getting the early train as it's lovely and quiet at that time of day.


----------



## Onket (Jan 12, 2015)

kabbes said:


> I get the 07:31. I can't even imagine getting to the station before 6am every morning.


See thread title.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 12, 2015)

Train arrived at Waterloo 15 minutes late.  Waterloo and City line broken down, had to take Jubilee to London Bridge and walk from there instead.  Arrived 30 minutes later than "usual".  Total commute time: over 2 hours.  Again.


----------



## ChrisFilter (Jan 12, 2015)

I think it's the lack of onward journey that makes my 90 min commute palatable. 

20 mins drive/walk to the station 
50 mins on the train 
20 mins walk to the office 

Only one point of failure, and with trains every 15 mins it's not so bad. Were the tube or a connecting train involved I doubt I could hack it.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 13, 2015)

in the words of reginald perrin, 22 minutes late, signal failure at waterloo.

blargh.


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 13, 2015)

As opposed to "escaped chimpanzee at Chessington South" !


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 13, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> As opposed to "escaped chimpanzee at Chessington South" !



indeed.

or 'badger ate a junction box at new malden'

although if there hadn't also been some sort of balls-up on southern (which is now pretty much normal) I might have got to clapham junction in time to be a few minutes early because the previous train was 26 minutes late...

i am pissed off with this commuting lark.


----------



## Zack Murray (Jan 14, 2015)

ugh just reading the phrase "new malden" makes me shiver....the city of malden is where i stage most of my tube departures as i'm not close enough for a link where i live. there was one day i drove the 25 minutes there just to realize i left all my wallet and money at home. turned around, came back, only to have the line be shut down for a maintenance repair. imagine the fury...


----------



## Dogsauce (Jan 15, 2015)

6:45 alarm for me because I'm on the bus (two buses - about 1hr10 total). Cycling gives me about another ten minutes in bed, but chickening out today because of this evening's forecast.

Sometimes I'm in the office before the girlfriend has even got out of bed, she has a 15 minute walk (or 5 minute bike ride) for her commute, and I'm insanely jealous.


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 15, 2015)

I am often in work (0830) - before my other half moves out of a warm bed. Fair play - as a midwife on call - she is sometimes out of a warm bed in the small hours.....


----------



## kabbes (Jan 15, 2015)

Me too, but that's because my wife works from home. Lucky woman.


----------



## Onket (Jan 19, 2015)

A ticket to Clapham High Street takes me closer to work and is cheaper than a ticket to Clapham Junction. I also save on the bus fare from Clapham Junction to work. 

My ticket still works the barriers at Clapham Junction though, so I can choose to go that way if there is no Overground running for a while. 

For almost £340 a month you'd expect a bit of flexibility ideally.


----------



## marty21 (Jan 19, 2015)

First commute in 12 days


----------



## magneze (Jan 19, 2015)

Trains all shafted out of Waterloo this morning. Signal failure.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 19, 2015)

I've started to keep a record of how late my train is every morning.

So far, the five days I have travelled since 12 Jan have been:

13 mins late
7 mins late
2 mins late
4 mins late
9 mins late

On average, 7 minutes late.  Never less than 2 minutes late.

That feels about right to me, but I guess we'll see over time if it proves to be so.


----------



## marty21 (Jan 19, 2015)

Signal problems on Chingford to Liverpool St line this morning, journey from Clapton took 35 mins which is about 20 mins extra. Tube was fine.


----------



## marty21 (Jan 20, 2015)

had to get to West Hampstead by 9, left at 8, delays on trains to Liverpool St, so got a bus to Manor House - road was blocked by Police and Ambulance near Seven Sisters Road, walked to Manor House - delays due to person taken ill at Kings Cross - eventually got off at Finsbury Park and got the Victoria to Highbury Corner and then the overland to West Hampstead, got to my meeting at 9.45 - to find out that the handover of the property had been delayed until tomorrow - lol


----------



## Onket (Jan 20, 2015)

Typical local govt worker arriving 45mins late to a meeting.  etc


----------



## kabbes (Jan 20, 2015)

kabbes said:


> I've started to keep a record of how late my train is every morning.
> 
> So far, the five days I have travelled since 12 Jan have been:
> 
> ...


4 minutes late today.


----------



## Onket (Jan 20, 2015)

Thanks for the update,  @kebbabs.


----------



## Dan U (Jan 20, 2015)

kabbes said:


> I've started to keep a record of how late my train is every morning.
> 
> So far, the five days I have travelled since 12 Jan have been:
> 
> ...


I got the 7.46 from Dorking this morning and it was early! 

Fucking massive queue to get in the tube though, that never changes.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 20, 2015)

Dan U said:


> I got the 7.46 from Dorking this morning and it was early!



Southern train to Victoria -- much more comfortable and much more reliable than the SouthWestern ones to Waterloo.  I've sometimes taken it just to have a nicer seat and accepted my journey being 15 minutes longer.



> Fucking massive queue to get in the tube though, that never changes.


God, yes.  It took 20 minutes this morning to get from the train docked at Waterloo onto a tube on the Waterloo & City line.  20 minutes!


----------



## StoneRoad (Jan 20, 2015)

This morning's commute was as bad as yesterday - very icy on a road with steep bits and some nasty sharp bends. Luckily it isn't far.


----------



## Dan U (Jan 20, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Southern train to Victoria -- much more comfortable and much more reliable than the SouthWestern ones to Waterloo.  I've sometimes taken it just to have a nicer seat and accepted my journey being 15 minutes longer.
> 
> 
> God, yes.  It took 20 minutes this morning to get from the train docked at Waterloo onto a tube on the Waterloo & City line.  20 minutes!


Yeah it's a much nicer train. We do the same at the weekends sometimes! 

Next commute is driving to Birmingham and Solihull later this week.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 20, 2015)

Signal failure at Wimbledon, fuck all in and out of Waterloo.  Am on a train going in the right kind of direction. 
Even for the commute, it's unbelievably packed.  Actually painful -- at one point I was struggling to breathe.

The usual service is a disgrace. I don't even know what you'd call this.  It's like a dystopian nightmare.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 20, 2015)

left work at the right time for the first time in 2 weeks.

17 minutes late (so far) - train door fault at clapham junction.

blargh.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 20, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> left work at the right time for the first time in 2 weeks
> 
> 17 minutes late (so far) - train door fault at clapham junction.
> 
> blargh.


And they say it like it's a valid excuse.  The rolling stock is their responsibility!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 20, 2015)

kabbes said:


> And they say it like it's a valid excuse.  The rolling stock is their responsibility!



on the other hand, i guess quite a few door faults are due to passengers holding the doors as they are closing because they are more important than everyone else on the train...

and now 28 minutes late.  wondering if we will get the "please get off and wait in the cold for the next one as we've been told to go fast to reading / back to waterloo"...


----------



## Dan U (Jan 20, 2015)

Apologies for the source, election season and all that, but this gives a little flavour of the carnage on the Redhill line with the LBG works 

http://www.blunt4reigate.com/news/crispin-blunt-meets-transport-secretary-over/983

This used to be my commute and following many commuters and local action groups on twitter I am fucking glad it isn't anymore. It has been an utter farce since January, just mind bogglingly shit. 

What's amusing is this was accurately predicted at a meet the managers session in Redhill months ago. 

People really really in uproar. Full blown reigate Tory commuters demanding nationalisation etc [emoji1]


----------



## Dan U (Jan 20, 2015)

Oh and latest insult is Oxted line is shit (who took no cuts in the new timetable) due to a lack of rolling stock so those commuters can travel via Redhill for no extra cost on any ticket. 

I really feel for the people running southerns twitter account


----------



## BigMoaner (Jan 20, 2015)

i love my hour commute from thornton heath to paddington, door to door. read, music, relax. can just sit there and think. anyone with small kids might appreciate the peace like i do. it's priceless actually.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 21, 2015)

7 minutes late today


----------



## marty21 (Jan 21, 2015)

signal failure at Kings X, on the metro/circle lines - lots of confused peeps wondering how to get to Kings X from Liverpool St, I walked to Moorgate and got the Northern Line (got a seat too )


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 21, 2015)

Second Wednesday in two weeks with NO TRAINS RUNNING AT ALL to London.

Well done SWT. They're hoping to get something cobbled together by 1pm. Which is handy as no one really needs to travel before then anyway.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 21, 2015)

Waterloo is bellowing out, "will Inspector Sands please report to the cab room" over and off again on the tannoy.  Doesn't that mean there is a fire or a bomb or something?


----------



## marty21 (Jan 21, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Waterloo is bellowing out, "will Inspector Sands please report to the cab room" over and off again on the tannoy.  Doesn't that mean there is a fire or a bomb or something?


Clean up , someone has been sick somewhere or shat on the platform


----------



## marty21 (Jan 21, 2015)

Smooth trip home , 1m wait at kings x , get to Liverpool St at 5.13 and walked on to the 5.18 which left on time


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Jan 21, 2015)

I read this thread with a kind of horrified fascination I feel so sorry for kabbes 

I just don't think I could cope with that shite day in day out.


----------



## Onket (Jan 21, 2015)

Yeah, poor bloody kebabbes.


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Jan 21, 2015)

Onket said:


> Yeah, poor bloody kebabbes.


Is yours shite too Onket ? Sorry, only just discovered the weird vicarious (?) pleasure of reading other peoples hideous journeys too and from shitty London so not fully up to speed.

My commute is a two and a half mile journey by car. Obvs it's rush hour so it takes 20-25 mins of sitting in walking speed traffic (then parking in the multi storey) but fuck walking or cycling. I'd rather sit in the car smoking fags and listening to Danny & Jojo on Capital with the heating on full. I'll get my comeuppance when I die of lung cancer.


----------



## Onket (Jan 21, 2015)

I spose it's my own fault for not packing the OP chock full of information as per the FAQs.


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Jan 21, 2015)

Onket said:


> I spose it's my own fault for not packing the OP chock full of information as per the FAQs.


Not at all. I never bother to read OPs on long threads


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Jan 21, 2015)

I'm really interested in kabbes log of the mundane delays of his shitty train. Between 2 and 13 minutes daily is just such a fucking irritation. I mean Jesus Christ. Just come on time. For once.


----------



## Onket (Jan 21, 2015)

Nancy_Winks said:


> Not at all. I never bother to read OPs on long threads



Well, this one is well worth the effort.


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Jan 21, 2015)

Onket said:


> Well, this one is well worth the effort.


Liar


----------



## Onket (Jan 21, 2015)




----------



## kabbes (Jan 21, 2015)

Nancy_Winks said:


> I'm really interested in kabbes log of the mundane delays of his shitty train. Between 2 and 13 minutes daily is just such a fucking irritation. I mean Jesus Christ. Just come on time. For once.


This has given me the necessary motivation to continue the chronicle.


----------



## starfish (Jan 21, 2015)

Had to laugh the other day. As usual my train home was delayed, station announcement said it was due to congestion but they also said that the next train was delayed due to confusion.

They did say something after that but I was too busy giggling to hear it.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 22, 2015)

Broken down train at Wimbledon, 18 minutes late. So Monday late, Tuesday worked at home, Wednesday no trains, Thirsday late. Doing well SWT


----------



## kabbes (Jan 22, 2015)

11 minutes late this morning + excuse.  Broken down train at Wimbledon.  Maybe they might want to consider spending some money on maintenance?


----------



## kabbes (Jan 22, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Broken down train at Wimbledon, 18 minutes late. So Monday late, Tuesday worked at home, Wednesday no trains, Thirsday late. Doing well SWT


Thank god the profit motive was brought into the industry.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 22, 2015)

kabbes said:


> 11 minutes late this morning + excuse.  Broken down train at Wimbledon.  Maybe they might want to consider spending some money on maintenance?



Perhaps it was always sunny when I was a kid, but I used to take the train to school (slam-door jobs) and I don't recall them ever breaking down???


----------



## Onket (Jan 23, 2015)

> From Monday 26 January some morning trains on this route will depart a few minutes earlier



Nice one. Should keep people on their toes.


----------



## Onket (Jan 23, 2015)

Actually, to be fair to Southern, they've just announced all the times.

The 05:33 from my station will be the 05:30 from Monday. 

I will keep the thread updated, of course.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 23, 2015)

Just the 2 minutes late this morning. So close to being the first on-time train!


----------



## marty21 (Jan 23, 2015)

9.11 from Clapton cancelled, bussing it to Manor House, should make my 10.00am appt Onket


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 29, 2015)

Surprised no-one has commented on the slight issue with flooding at Farringdon on the Thameslink route ......

Suspended through the core from Sunday - Monday - and again from 2100 last evening to close of traffic today. Nightmare


----------



## kabbes (Jan 29, 2015)

Look what I found

http://www.recenttraintimes.co.uk/

All the statistics you could want on train arrival times!

Over the last 100 days, My train has arrived within 5 minutes of its due date on 61% of occasions (absolutely rubbish!) and averages 5 minutes late.  The next train. is even worse – 56% within 5 minutes and averaging 7 minutes late.

If you look at arrival within 2 minutes of due date, it drops to 34% and 28%.

My train back makes it home within 2 minutes on 54% of occasions.  Not as bad as the next one, again, which is down to 33%.

How can they get away with this shit?


----------



## Onket (Jan 29, 2015)

The 05:30 has only existed since Monday, so isn't really a surprise that it appears to be doing so well!

Still, the 06:50 is the one I used to get before I changed to the 8-4 shift at work. A wise decision based on these stats.

The 07:11 was the train I used to have to catch if I missed the 06:50. I knew It was a bad service but those figures are appalling!


----------



## kabbes (Jan 29, 2015)

16% and 12% within 5 minutes?!  I don't even think 5 minutes is a good result, frankly, because you can easily miss connections as a consequence.  But to basically miss that target all month is just unreal.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Jan 29, 2015)

There was something wrong with the Northern line this morning. People were bulging and seeping out of Clapham South so I walked up to Clapham North, via the Post Office and all was irie by the time I got there


----------



## kabbes (Jan 29, 2015)

Flooding on the Waterloo and Central line platform this morning.  Result: ballsacks.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 31, 2015)

kabbes said:


> They threw us all off at Epsom in the end. It took me over 3 hours to get home that night, plus an extra £25 in taxi fares





kabbes said:


> Yeah, I've put in a claim but who knows what they end up actually giving you, if anything?





kabbes said:


> I don't think I can get compensation for the actual journey because I have a season ticket, or some such nonsense.
> 
> They probably won't pay the taxi but I genuinely had no option other than to walk for 10 miles.  They really are a bunch of gangsters.
> 
> They tell us that it is because of a broken down train like that's an actual excuse. It's their fucking rolling stock!


They've given me £25 of rail vouchers. They made the point that they don't normally pay for taxis but would this time, given the circumstances.


----------



## Onket (Jan 31, 2015)

Can you use them towards your season ticket next year? Will they still be valid?!


----------



## kabbes (Jan 31, 2015)

Onket said:


> Can you use them towards your season ticket next year? Will they still be valid?!


Yep, can use for season tickets and use within 12 months


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 5, 2015)

my train home was ON TIME this evening

 

which i think is the first time this year

so i was home in slightly less than 2 hours after leaving the desk...

i really need to think about moving


----------



## Onket (Feb 9, 2015)

Hen party type gathering on the train this morning. Have turned my music up.


----------



## kabbes (Feb 9, 2015)

That's a new one to me. The Victoria train, which I sometimes get as a "didn't get to the station early enough to catch the 0731 but it's a long time to wait for the 0801" train has been "cancelled due to vandalism".  Wonder what that involved.

ETA: here it is:


> *Stock Shortages* due to vandalism over the weekend which has disabled thirty of our class 377 carriages, we have a large number of train cancellations today, Monday 9th February



http://www.southernrailway.com/mobile/journey-planner/


----------



## Onket (Feb 9, 2015)

Graffiti, possibly.


----------



## Onket (Feb 9, 2015)

E.G. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/p...ibute-under-police-investigation-9075231.html


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 9, 2015)

Onket said:


> Hen party type gathering on the train this morning. Have turned my music up.


Were they setting off or heading home?


----------



## Onket (Feb 9, 2015)

Setting off. Going to the airport.


----------



## kabbes (Feb 9, 2015)

Onket said:


> E.G. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/p...ibute-under-police-investigation-9075231.html


So they prefer to cancel services than run trains with graffiti. Nice.


----------



## Onket (Feb 9, 2015)

It's a long-running policy. And ridiculous, obviously.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 9, 2015)

kabbes said:


> So they prefer to cancel services than run trains with graffiti. Nice.





Onket said:


> It's a long-running policy. And ridiculous, obviously.



Usually only when it covers the windows, if it's on the body they run the train and let BTP photo it etc. once it gets in to town.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 9, 2015)

Urgh, not feeling great, got on the train, jumped off at Guildford as thought was gonna honk, sat around for 30 minutes getting the strength to struggle home


----------



## Onket (Feb 9, 2015)

Lightweight.


----------



## 5t3IIa (Feb 9, 2015)

Onket said:


> Lightweight.



1k posts ^


----------



## kabbes (Feb 9, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Urgh, not feeling great, got on the train, jumped off at Guildford as thought was gonna honk, sat around for 30 minutes getting the strength to struggle home


Ergh. 

This has definitely been the grottiest, most unwell winter I can remember.


----------



## davesgcr (Feb 10, 2015)

kabbes said:


> So they prefer to cancel services than run trains with graffiti. Nice.



Around 34 vehicles hit by graffiti over the weekend at 3 locations - some of it extensive. 

Sort of takes the glorification of "artists" away when trains get cancelled. (and peopleget delayed getting around) 

Cannot drive a train with graffiti  on the drivers cab for example....besides , there is a total zero tolerance of trains running in service in this condition. Used to implement it myself back in the day. They were all cleaned and back in service by the evening....


----------



## kabbes (Feb 10, 2015)

Collective punishment.  Hundreds if not thousands of people stood waiting in the cold, crushed into even fewer trains than usual, maybe some of them missing crucial appointments.  And all so we can be taught that we should hate the graffiti artists.

I had a teacher at school who had that mindset.  I thought he was a cunt too.


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 10, 2015)

Onket is approaching the point in his journey where he has a 10 minute window to change trains. Let's all hope he makes it.


----------



## Dan U (Feb 10, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> Onket is approaching the point in his journey where he has a 10 minute window to change trains. Let's all hope he makes it.


You can ask him in a week [emoji1]


----------



## marty21 (Feb 10, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> Onket is approaching the point in his journey where he has a 10 minute window to change trains. Let's all hope he makes it.


A nation awaits news


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 10, 2015)

marty21 said:


> A nation awaits news


But of course. Onket's train was four minutes late. Still six minutes until the next one, however. Tenterhooks.


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 10, 2015)

Onket made his connection and is on the final leg of his 'fucking bastard of a nightmare commute'. Phew. Etc. 

How was yours Santino?


----------



## kabbes (Feb 10, 2015)

I was too ill to go in today.  Worked from home.


----------



## marty21 (Feb 10, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> Onket made his connection and is on the final leg of his 'fucking bastard of a nightmare commute'. Phew. Etc.
> 
> How was yours Santino?


I love that you are the Onket travel correspondent


----------



## marty21 (Feb 10, 2015)

No delays for me, caught the 5.03 from Liverpool Street and it left at 5.03


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 10, 2015)

marty21 said:


> I love that you are the Onket travel correspondent


Some things transcend the ban hammer. I'm not posting in the Dulwich hamlet forum though


----------



## Santino (Feb 10, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> Onket made his connection and is on the final leg of his 'fucking bastard of a nightmare commute'. Phew. Etc.
> 
> How was yours Santino?


Circle Line had minor delays but didn't affect my connection.


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 10, 2015)

I've changed my tag line for the week marty21


----------



## marty21 (Feb 10, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> I've changed my tag line for the week marty21


Quite right too. Make sure he provides you with the tools to do your job .


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 10, 2015)

I shall pester.


----------



## Dan U (Feb 10, 2015)

It's two weeks now, his ban has been randomly extended by a mod. Bit out of order.


----------



## marty21 (Feb 11, 2015)

Dan U said:


> It's two weeks now, his ban has been randomly extended by a mod. Bit out of order.


Odd! May his commute be trouble free for the fortnight


----------



## kabbes (Feb 11, 2015)

First they came for Onkey le Wrong...


----------



## editor (Feb 11, 2015)

Dan U said:


> It's two weeks now, his ban has been randomly extended by a mod. Bit out of order.


No, it's not "out of order". It is not unusual for mods to extend or reduce bans once they've been brought up in the mods forum. In fact, I'd say that it's a sign of how fair the process is: no mods can unilaterally decide on a long ban without the approval of the others.

In this case all of the mods decided that a 2 week ban was appropriate.  Don't forget, you're not going to know the full background to why someone was banned - so you'll have to trust us on that - but I will say that we are INCREDIBLY tolerant compared to most boards. But even our tolerance has its limits.

I don't want to disrupt this thread any further, so please take any further debate to the feedback forum.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Feb 11, 2015)

Was all quiet on the top deck of the 220 approaching Hammersmith yesterday morning and some disgruntled middle age bloke boomed loudly into conversation on his mobile a couple of seats behind me, making sure the entire top deck could listen in.

Apparently he's reached Vodafone customer services and was frustrated that his phone display wouldn't stay illuminated longer (a simple settings/display fix usually). And proceeded to call them ridiculous that _his_ handset wouldn't act how _he _wanted. The call centre person on the other end was obviously trying to help by telling him he had to go to settings...display etc, and he inevitably got it all wrong, while having the conversation at the same time. He then ended up pressing Flipboard and got all angry by shouting '"NOW I'VE GOT FLIPBOARD COMING UP. WHAT IS FLIPBOARD??" "THIS IS RIDICULOUS"... "I'M GOING TO CANCEL MY CONTRACT"


----------



## Santino (Feb 11, 2015)

Je suis Onket


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 11, 2015)

We are all Onket. 

Except I'm definitely not. Honest guv


----------



## tommers (Feb 11, 2015)

Je suis Onket


----------



## tommers (Feb 11, 2015)

Everybody should enjoy the right to not fully specify in the thread title of a Dulwich Hamlet forum thread that the match involves Dulwich Hamlet.

Don't bow down to these extremists.


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 13, 2015)

I can only apologise for my lack up updates on Onket's 'fucking nightmare of a bastard commute'. It has been busy at the heart of the campaign, but it's no excuse. I'm sorry. Well, that and he wasn't in the office yesterday.

Anyway, the Onkey one would like you all to know that he used 80% of his phone's battery before he'd even got to work, looking at all the messages of support, pictures and screenshots you beautiful lot have been sending him. And 'watching that bloody video'.* His battery was down to 13% by the time he arrived at his destination, but he was listening to Jerome Hill on Kool FM and playing Boom Beach.

No trains were late. Over and out.

Justice for Onket!

*


----------



## Santino (Feb 13, 2015)

Trains between Newton Abbot and Plymouth are being delayed by up to 30 minutes.

#Onkupy


----------



## Roadkill (Feb 13, 2015)

I only live a couple of miles from work so I normally walk, but I was in a hurry this afternoon so I got the bus.  I'd have been better off walking: the traffic was fucking ridiculous.


----------



## iona (Feb 13, 2015)

I was meant to be getting the train to London then a coach from Victoria to Glasgow, only there are no trains because of a tree on the line. Frantic phonecalls to four cab companies later and I found someone who could pick me up in 20 minutes and managed to do the 20minute drive to another station in half that time. Just made the train and if my connecting train is on time I'll have 12 minutes to get from my train to the coach. If I don't make it, the overnight train costs £130. I think I'm about to have an aneurysm.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 13, 2015)




----------



## iona (Feb 14, 2015)

I made it with about 60 seconds to spare!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 15, 2015)

Coach to Glasgow, grim. We flew in October and that was bad enough


----------



## Maurice Picarda (Feb 15, 2015)

Why would someone in the travel industry be on a horrorbus?


----------



## iona (Feb 15, 2015)

I got the posh megabus with the beds coz it was only 5 or 10 quid more. It was actually pretty comfy.

National Express to Newquay in a normal coach seat next weekend is going to be much worse.


----------



## Santino (Feb 16, 2015)

Anyone know how Onket got on this morning?

Rebelda?


----------



## kabbes (Feb 16, 2015)

Waterloo and City line was declared closed this morning after standing in line for 10 minutes. That annoyed me.


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 16, 2015)

Santino said:


> Anyone know how Onket got on this morning?
> 
> Rebelda?


Certainly. Onket's monthly pass expired over the weekend and his train leaves before the ticket office opens. He had to buy a £49 return and then get it reimbursed at Clapham Junction when renewing his pass. The overground to Clapham High St was delayed by 2 minutes which meant he didn't miss it  

Scintillating update this morning I'm sure you'll agree. 

¡Yo (no) soy Onket!


----------



## Mapped (Feb 16, 2015)

Fucking nightmare waking up and finding out I forgot to charge my laptop this morning. Had to plug that in, commute to the kitchen for a coffee, get back into bed and make a few phone calls and send some emails. I shall be commuting to the bathroom in a bit to give the baby a bath, and then a shower for myself. I'll be hitting the viccy line for a 3pm meeting in town later and a 6pm meeting in the pub.

Bob Geldof was wrong about Mondays


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 16, 2015)

I might not pass that on to Mr Gloria Sleader. I already got an earful about still being in bed at 10.30 this morning  Onket


----------



## Mapped (Feb 16, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> I might not pass that on to Mr Gloria Sleader. I already got an earful about still being in bed at 10.30 this morning  Onket



I spoke too soon on the Monday positivity. I just got an earful from my real boss for planning to go for a quick pint at 6pm even though I've been helping out with childcare this morn and all weekend and will be sharing the load tomorrow. She's upstairs I can feel the daggers coming through the ceiling.


----------



## marty21 (Feb 16, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> Certainly. Onket's monthly pass expired over the weekend and his train leaves before the ticket office opens. He had to buy a £49 return and then get it reimbursed at Clapham Junction when renewing his pass. The overground to Clapham High St was delayed by 2 minutes which meant he didn't miss it
> 
> Scintillating update this morning I'm sure you'll agree.
> 
> ¡Yo (no) soy Onket!


 much as I hate to criticise the Onket - he should have renewed his pass in a more timely manner - Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail


----------



## marty21 (Feb 16, 2015)

my journey was trouble free - although I did leave a little late - got the 9.28 which arrived on time - and then straight onto a Metropolitan line at Liverpool St - I was in the office bang on 10am


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 16, 2015)

marty21 said:


> much as I hate to criticise the Onket - he should have renewed his pass in a more timely manner - Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail


Dissent will not be tolerated  clear your browser history sunshine.


----------



## Santino (Feb 16, 2015)

marty21 said:


> much as I hate to criticise the Onket


Kindly *never* address me again. Ever.


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 16, 2015)

Santino said:


> Kindly *never* address me again. Ever.


That's the spirit. Onket has not failed. On his return he won't even have been banned. *sends marty21 to room 101*


----------



## Santino (Feb 16, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> That's the spirit. Onket has not failed. On his return he won't even have been banned. *sends marty21 to room 101*


 Could you change your tagline to "The Onket travel corresponket"?


----------



## marty21 (Feb 16, 2015)

Rebelda said:


> That's the spirit. Onket has not failed. On his return he won't even have been banned. *sends marty21 to room 101*


 please give me details of bus services to room 101 tvm


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 16, 2015)

marty21 said:


> please give me details of bus services to room 101 tvm


If I've got my literary references right, I believe Santino knows the way.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 17, 2015)

Pulling in to Waterloo three minutes early, wtf???


----------



## Fez909 (Feb 17, 2015)

I'm so pissed off that it's taken me this long to calm down enough to type this. First entry on this thread:

Left work about 6:30 (mistake #1), I think. Did a bit of shopping (mistake #2), then headed to the bus stop. I'm guessing it was about 7 oclock by now. Bus was going to be 25 minutes...wtf?! 

I used the time to capture some portals on Ingress in the area near the bus stop then headed back with a few mins to spare. The sign had now changed to a timetable instead of "x minutes until bus", which isn't a good sign. It was another 15 minutes. 

I waited the 15 and when it got to the time it was meant to come, it said, "10 mins until bus".  I'd now waited longer than it would have taken me to walk home, I was freezing, further away from home than before I left work, and had a shit load of shopping - 4 pints milk, litre of juice, tins of soup, kilo of flour, jars of Nutella, etc...heavy shit, in other words.

10 minutes came and passed and the bus thing just kept on resetting as if it had actually appeared. Eventually I'd been there an hour and it said, "Due to an accident you may experience delays". "MAY"?  And one fucking hour you left it before telling us about this accident?

I set off walking 

Took me about 40 mins to walk home. Arms nearly falling off. Hands freezing. I told a few people at bus stops as I passed about the delays as not all stops have the messaging system. They were grateful, and one was very sweet when I told her about my ordeal. She told me she knew about the accident but didn't think it would be a problem as it was at 10am.

10 o'lock and the buses aren't running at 8pm!? 

About 20 "Not in service buses" passed me, too.

Absolute fucking cunts. And I still can't face making pancakes


----------



## ska invita (Feb 17, 2015)

not on the same scale but at my station there are two trains - the one i want and another one that works but takes longer. If my train isnt running for some reason ill take the other.
what winds me up is exactly that, those digital boards saying the train will be there and then adding the expected time in 5 min increments - meanwhile a had anotehr train i could take but i let it go as supposedly my train will be here in 2 mins. and then it never comes. then 20 minutes later its cancelled and im really late for work
that happens a couple of times a month.


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 18, 2015)

In a van today because I've been doing site work. If it wasn't bad enough not getting away from the office until five past nine at night following much pissing about dropping a colleague at the station, dashing to the courier depot the other side of town a mile from home, then all the way back to the office to drop off equipment, stick things back in the shed, clean crap out of the van, I then managed to come across four fucking road closures on my way home. It was like the powers that be were desperately trying to stop me getting home. Almost in tears at one point bellowing 'fucking life-thieves!' as I came across another set of cones blocking my way.

This was the cause of most of the nonsense:

http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co....ggers-traffic-chaos-in-leeds-latest-1-7111144


----------



## Mapped (Feb 18, 2015)

There'd better not be a massive population explosion in North East London tonight as I need a seat on the viccy line tomorrow. I have a powerpoint presentation that at the moment only exists in my manager's imagination and really needs to be shown to 'very important people' at 10am. That damn thing is getting done on the tube.


----------



## Fez909 (Feb 18, 2015)

Dogsauce said:


> In a van today because I've been doing site work. If it wasn't bad enough not getting away from the office until five past nine at night following much pissing about dropping a colleague at the station, dashing to the courier depot the other side of town a mile from home, then all the way back to the office to drop off equipment, stick things back in the shed, clean crap out of the van, I then managed to come across four fucking road closures on my way home. It was like the powers that be were desperately trying to stop me getting home. Almost in tears at one point bellowing 'fucking life-thieves!' as I came across another set of cones blocking my way.
> 
> This was the cause of most of the nonsense:
> 
> http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co....ggers-traffic-chaos-in-leeds-latest-1-7111144


So we both suffered due to this.


----------



## Mapped (Feb 18, 2015)

In nice and quick today and the powerpoint was completed from my seat


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 18, 2015)

Last night got to Waterloo for the 1830 train to find a large crowd signifying delays. Went towards platform 14 to find the 1800 train about to leave 30 minutes late, so basically it left on time, plus didn't stop at Woking, so was empty


----------



## sovereignb (Feb 18, 2015)

Was it rude for me to ask someone to take their feet off the chair this morning??? I literally came and sat down opposite him and his feet were up on the chair next to me. I had seen soooo much spit on the floor walking down to the station. I also just think its just really bad manners. Am i considered rude?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 18, 2015)

Not rude. Would not have been rude had you removed said feet with an axe. Scumbag behaviour.


----------



## sovereignb (Feb 19, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Not rude. Would not have been rude had you removed said feet with an axe. Scumbag behaviour.



I know i had attitude in my voice though lol...i asked him straight out (after i had opened the window and made myself comfortable ) if he could move his feet. He had the audacity to ask "why" and I said "because they're not meant to be there". He moved them and grabbed his phone desperately, probably to broadcast to the world about some rude bastard on the train!`


----------



## iona (Feb 22, 2015)

The rail replacement bus I'm on is following road signs that say "diversion  -> "...


----------



## Dan U (Feb 23, 2015)

Rare commute to London today. Successful and prompt nursery drop off, got a parking space at the exorbitantly priced dorking station and find my train is cancelled. 

Thanks southern


----------



## kabbes (Feb 23, 2015)

Dan U said:


> Rare commute to London today. Successful and prompt nursery drop off, got a parking space at the exorbitantly priced dorking station and find my train is cancelled.
> 
> Thanks southern


I was going to get the Southern one before that and change at Leatherhead.  No big deal, just save myself 15 minutes because I'd missed my normal direct train.  But no, that service was delayed by 10 minutes, which would therefore miss the connection.

I saw then that the one after it was cancelled and did actually idly wonder who it would affect.  Never thought the answer would be so quick in coming.


----------



## Mapped (Feb 23, 2015)

Just commuted to the sofa with the baby, despite sending an email saying I'm off sick at 6:30am. The stairs were a bit tricky, with a baby and a laptop, but we made it in OK and and in not too shabby a time. Bugger all congestion on the hallway/stairs too


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 23, 2015)

Got the earlier train so could crack on in the office, signal failure at Wimbledon made the train 15 minutes later, so arrived later than had I got the normal train and that was on time. Shower of shite.


----------



## kabbes (Feb 23, 2015)

Shower. Of. Shite.


----------



## marty21 (Feb 23, 2015)

only had an oyster/contactless hassle today - couldn't get my pass as the oyster machine wasn't working - couldn't use my contactless either as the reader didn't recognise it - so had to go back and borrow mrs21's payg oyster to get in

other than that - no delays


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 23, 2015)

Just checking in for my last Onket update of the present ban. He left work late, so not off to a good start. He has to get three trains so there's potential for missed connections.


----------



## Rebelda (Feb 23, 2015)

Onket made all his connections and got home fine. Which is a shame. The cunt. 

It's been a pleasure corresponding for you folks. Normal service resumes tomorrow. You poor bastards.


----------



## Mapped (Feb 25, 2015)

Good and bad this morning. Bus came straight away, got a seat on the viccy line. Wrote an article on the tube,  where I was supposed to change at Finsbury Park,  but looked up and i was suddenly at Euston.  Currently enduring a 6 min wait for the Northern Line at Warren Street....grrrr


----------



## tommers (Feb 25, 2015)

Train is now half an hour late


----------



## Mapped (Feb 25, 2015)

Got in, but also got a hole in my boot a hole in my boot and a wet foot


----------



## kabbes (Feb 25, 2015)

Dan U -- the 0822 Dorking - Victoria is cancelled again, just in case you were thinking if using it.


----------



## Dan U (Feb 25, 2015)

Thanks kabbes am working away from home now, no trains involved!


----------



## Mapped (Feb 26, 2015)

Varying it up a bit today. No viccy line. Using the West Coast Mainline instead. Getting the 08:11 from Cheltenham Spa to Birmingham New Street. Then a walk in Brum. I'm a bit early for the train, could have had an extra 10 mins in bed.


----------



## tommers (Feb 26, 2015)

Just woken up and going to go downstairs and set up the laptop.   No trains!


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 26, 2015)

Today my bus didn't catch fire. Doing better than yesterday.  Only ten minutes late getting into the office, just 1hr20 in total.


----------



## marty21 (Feb 26, 2015)

no seat on the hammersmith line this morning - hesitated as i got on and they all got taken  only 4 stops though so really I shouldn't complain


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 26, 2015)

Bloke came and took the seat next to mine at Guildford, train shouldn't even stop at Guildford, I'm already on, it can go straight in to Waterloo, why do I need it stopping at Guildford??? He regretted it though cos I was in a well fidgety mood and could not keep still for more than about two minutes at a time. I suspect he's on some other part of the internet bemoaning the restless twat who stopped him getting any rest on his FNBC this morning.


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Feb 26, 2015)

Dogsauce said:


> In a van today because I've been doing site work. If it wasn't bad enough not getting away from the office until five past nine at night following much pissing about dropping a colleague at the station, dashing to the courier depot the other side of town a mile from home, then all the way back to the office to drop off equipment, stick things back in the shed, clean crap out of the van, I then managed to come across four fucking road closures on my way home. It was like the powers that be were desperately trying to stop me getting home. Almost in tears at one point bellowing 'fucking life-thieves!' as I came across another set of cones blocking my way.
> 
> This was the cause of most of the nonsense:
> 
> http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co....ggers-traffic-chaos-in-leeds-latest-1-7111144


Fucking hell I got caught in that n all. Took me an hour to go two miles.

Lol at you nearly in tears bellowing 'fucking life-theives'


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Feb 26, 2015)

kabbes any stats available on your train data?


----------



## rover07 (Feb 26, 2015)

Had a puncture on the way to work yesterday! It usually takes 7 minutes door to door on my bike. But now I had to walk half the way, I hesitated over whether to lock it up to a railing but decided to press on... fortunately it wasn't raining and I made it into work with a minute to spare... phew!


----------



## kabbes (Feb 26, 2015)

Nancy_Winks said:


> kabbes any stats available on your train data?


 The train I was going to take was cancelled yet again this morning.  That's as far as I go for now.

Getting on the Waterloo and City line is a joke at the moment.  It took me 20 minutes yesterday.  It was just a sea of who-knows-how-many hundred people.  God help us if there was a fire.  At one point they announced "There is a GOOD service on all lines" and a spontaneous laughter spread around the crowd at the sheer ridiculousness of it.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 2, 2015)

No heating on the train the morning. It's freezing.


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## Dogsauce (Mar 9, 2015)

I'm still getting the bus because my knees are still sore from crashing into someone on my bike a month ago.  This morning they're particularly achey after a weekend of DIY and house tidying and the fucking driver goes the wrong way and I have to walk half a mile to the office.   First bus are a fucking shambles.


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## Puddy_Tat (Mar 9, 2015)

southern.

:facepaw:

although not entirely their fault that an engineering train breakdown early morning has buggered everything up, i suppose...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 9, 2015)

kabbes said:


> I've started to keep a record of how late my train is every morning.
> 
> So far, the five days I have travelled since 12 Jan have been:
> 
> ...


I've kept a record of every commute for the last several years - along with the shit excuses they wheel out for their piss poor service.


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 9, 2015)

05:11 train this morning was bang on time, and so far my return is the same. It can only go downhill from here...


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Mar 9, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I've kept a record of every commute for the last several years - along with the shit excuses they wheel out for their piss poor service.










Eleven minutes late, somebody had stolen the lines at Surbiton...


----------



## davesgcr (Mar 9, 2015)

Remember Reginal Perrin and his excuses "Fog - Clapham Junction" -or best of all "escaped chimpanzee at Chessington South" .....


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Mar 9, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Remember Reginal Perrin and his excuses "Fog - Clapham Junction" -or best of all "escaped chimpanzee at Chessington South" .....



the full collection here


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 10, 2015)

"Twenty-two minutes late, fed up by train delays, came by bike. Slow puncture at Peckham."


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2015)

Train running to time today - and mostly empty.


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2015)

Fucks sake!  

Definitely Friday 13th - overrunning engineering works and then major signalling problems at Birmingham New Street has caused chaos. Had to get off at Stafford as my train was being diverted and not stopping at Birmingham, and have got on a local stopping service. I wonder when I'll get there...


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 13, 2015)

barleymow, seen showing off his chickens earlier this morning...


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> barleymow, seen showing off his chickens earlier this morning...



Tempting bloody fate more like!  

There was also a broken down train thrown into the mix this morning for good measure.  Got in about half an hour later than usual.  Chaos on the way home too - the signalling problems seemed to continue until mid-afternoon, so it was a mess when I got to the station to head home.  Then the train air conditioning was broken so the carriage was roasting, and the usual broken toilets.  Thank fuck its the weekend...


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## Puddy_Tat (Mar 13, 2015)

I'm a bit out of touch with commuting etiquette, and have a dilemma for the panel.

If the person in the next seat has the sniffles, and you get treated to the sounds of squelching snot slightly more often than every 10 seconds, is the acceptable response - 

a) to sit and fume quietly

b) to tut occasionally

c) very politely offer them some tissues

d) shout "shut the fuck up you snotty git"

e) kill them in the face with a rolled up copy of the 'metro'

f) any combination of the above

g) other


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> I'm a bit out of touch with commuting etiquette, and have a dilemma for the panel.
> 
> If the person in the next seat has the sniffles, and you get treated to the sounds of squelching snot slightly more often than every 10 seconds, is the acceptable response -
> 
> ...



Either fume quietly, in the good old British way, or pretend to have a phone conversation with someone and slag them off for being a snotty inconsiderate bastard.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Mar 13, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> or pretend to have a phone conversation with someone and slag them off for being a snotty inconsiderate bastard.



I hadn't thought of that one.  I'm still fairly analogue in thought process...


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2015)

Have a t-shirt printed with the old WWII slogan 'coughs and sneezes spread diseases'.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 13, 2015)

Fume quietly, anything else would involve interaction which would be weird as fuck and not in the spirit of the commute.


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 14, 2015)

Ask them if they know Jesus loves them. That should normally do the trick and get them to move.


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## Puddy_Tat (Mar 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Ask them if they know Jesus loves them. That should normally do the trick and get them to move.



how about

"do you know that jesus loves you even though you are a snotty git?"


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 18, 2015)

What is wrong with people? 

Got on the train this morning and it stank as someone was eating something foul. Now some filthy bastard has dropped a stinky fart.


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## marty21 (Mar 18, 2015)

9.13 on time - and just walked to the underground and got straight on a tube and got a seat -

text book commute


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 18, 2015)

marty21 said:


> 9.13 on time - and just walked to the underground and got straight on a tube and got a seat -
> 
> text book commute


You've used up your luck ration for the month, so it's all going to go to shit from now.


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## marty21 (Mar 18, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> You've used up your luck ration for the month, so it's all going to go to shit from now.


 one of the doors wouldn't open, so had to walk slightly further to get on, upside of that was there was an empty-ish carriage near the faulty door as other commuters couldn't be bothered walking all the way up the carriage if they would have to walk back again if the faulty door was platform side at Liverpool St -

it wasn't


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 18, 2015)

Another filthy bastard farting on the train home. What is going on with people's gaseous bowel burps? And this train is far too hot.


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## marty21 (Mar 18, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Another filthy bastard farting on the train home. What is going on with people's gaseous bowel burps? And this train is far too hot.


A filthy fart monster on both of the trains YOU took today ?


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 18, 2015)

marty21 said:


> A filthy fart monster on both of the trains YOU took today ?


I never fart in public as I'm a gentleman. I bet you're up north today aren't you, you smelly-arsed git.


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## marty21 (Mar 19, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I never fart in public as I'm a gentleman. I bet you're up north today aren't you, you smelly-arsed git.


 you would spot me on a train, we have a team of farters ready and willing to join you on trains


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## Puddy_Tat (Apr 13, 2015)

south eastern is in one heck of a mess this morning.

over-running engineering work at london bridge.

blargh


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## farmerbarleymow (Apr 13, 2015)

My journey is going OK so far, but I'll say no more as I'll be tempting fate.


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## Zimri (Apr 13, 2015)

Signal failures, signal failures for everyone!


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## ChrisFilter (Apr 13, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> south eastern is in one heck of a mess this morning.
> 
> over-running engineering work at london bridge.
> 
> blargh


I feel your pain. I'm currently on the 7:20am from Tunbridge Wells to Charing Cross. It's running about 55 mins behind schedule.


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## ChrisFilter (Apr 13, 2015)

Now sat just after Grove Park not moving. The train's being diverted to Victoria, unhelpfully. 

I'd normally have been at my desk for 45 mins by now.


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## ChrisFilter (Apr 13, 2015)

Dumped at Victoria to find tube is fucked. Getting quite funny now.


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## davesgcr (Apr 13, 2015)

Some poor sods were 121 mins late in from Sevenoaks - a total disaster - no less than 5 signal / points failures on the route - one as far away as Bo-Peep Jct which screwed the up Hastings trains. 2 ill passengers which needed Paramedics and the "piece de resistance"  - a woman went into labour on a diverted train into Victoria (no issues there on a name for the newcomer !) - the trouble with the SE peak is - once it is rolling , almost impossible to recover it......bad, bad day for all.


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## davesgcr (Apr 13, 2015)

ChrisFilter said:


> Dumped at Victoria to find tube is fucked. Getting quite funny now.



The Circle / District decided to join in ......signal problems - and of course the curse of the Brighton line appeared - a nasty broken rail needing a 5mph speed over it at Patcham , with a route locked up at that wayside halt known as Clapham Junction ....


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## ChrisFilter (Apr 13, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Some poor sods were 121 mins late in from Sevenoaks - a total disaster - no less than 5 signal / points failures on the route - one as far away as Bo-Peep Jct which screwed the up Hastings trains. 2 ill passengers which needed Paramedics and the "piece de resistance"  - a woman went into labour on a diverted train into Victoria (no issues there on a name for the newcomer !) - the trouble with the SE peak is - once it is rolling , almost impossible to recover it......bad, bad day for all.


I had a similar journey, but only 70 mins late.


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## farmerbarleymow (Apr 13, 2015)

Sorry to hear of your shitty journeys today - sounds appalling.


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## davesgcr (Apr 13, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Sorry to hear of your shitty journeys today - sounds appalling.



Not a great day - am sure the Daily Mail will have plenty of helpfull comments from readers in the outer Scottish Isles , or the Code d'Azur about "broken Britain and its useless railways" -


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## Puddy_Tat (Apr 13, 2015)

I was about 25 minutes late, although the train was about 40 minutes late when i got on (the 0626 arrived around the time i went for the station for the 0708) and 65 minutes late by the time it got to waterloo east 

general all round balls-up not resolved for the pm peak, travelled back via the catford loop and train so full people were being left behind at denmark hill.

blargh.

no doubt all will be resolved by wednesday when i'm back in berkshire...


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## farmerbarleymow (Apr 14, 2015)

Apart from an ongoing issue around Leeds, National Rail is reporting no other problems on the network at the moment.  Fingers crossed things are working properly today in reality, as I never quite trust the NR site.


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## Throbbing Angel (Apr 14, 2015)

5am?

FIVE AM?!

Where do you work FBM?   Venus!?


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## farmerbarleymow (Apr 14, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> 5am?
> 
> FIVE AM?!
> 
> Where do you work FBM?   Venus!?


I'm usually up by four, sometimes three.


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## Throbbing Angel (Apr 14, 2015)

Still Crazy after all these years I see


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## farmerbarleymow (Apr 14, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> Still Crazy after all these years I see


Yup!


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## ChrisFilter (Apr 14, 2015)

Trains into London Bridge and beyond are fucked again this morning. Not as fucked as yesterday, but, still.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Apart from an ongoing issue around Leeds, National Rail is reporting no other problems on the network at the moment.  Fingers crossed things are working properly today in reality, as I never quite trust the NR site.



I've signed up to Southwest Trains alerts. I get one of these twice a day:

 


If there's disruption I don't get an alert. Which I guess is as good as getting an alert


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## farmerbarleymow (Apr 15, 2015)

Defective train on the way home, but only delayed by ten minutes. Read earlier it's gone tits up again in the SE on the Brighton line.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 15, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I've signed up to Southwest Trains alerts. I get one of these twice a day:
> 
> View attachment 70189
> 
> ...



No news is bad news?


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 15, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Defective train on the way home, but only delayed by ten minutes. Read earlier it's gone tits up again in the SE on the Brighton line.


About 1350 today - an empty train coming out of Lovers Walk depot (splendid name) - derailed - blocking all lines due to the need to take the power off as it sliced through some of the 750v feeder cables - which has caused massive local and regional disruption.(combined with a lineside fire on the Horsham line and a heat releated signal problem Lewes to Eastbourne) 

Basically - a toptal f+++ing nightmare ...


----------



## tommers (Apr 16, 2015)

All trains cancelled at gipsy hill. Somebody hit on the track just outside.

Nothing running towards Victoria on that line.


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## davesgcr (Apr 16, 2015)

tommers said:


> All trains cancelled at gipsy hill. Somebody hit on the track just outside.
> 
> Nothing running towards Victoria on that line.



Body found on the line at 0500 this am when the engineers were checking the track - reports of a trespasser last night at 2230 but nothing found then. They did quite well to get the service running , considering it was a crime scene .....sorry you got messed up. A tragedy (again) ..


----------



## tommers (Apr 16, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Body found on the line at 0500 this am when the engineers were checking the track - reports of a trespasser last night at 2230 but nothing found then. They did quite well to get the service running , considering it was a crime scene .....sorry you got messed up. A tragedy (again) ..


Yeah,  I wasn't moaning.  More a public service announcement. 

I ended up working from home but could have cycled in too. 

A bit of inconvenience doesn't really match up to somebody dying.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2015)

There does seem to have been a spate of suicides on the tracks lately, although it may be me just noticing it more.


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## davesgcr (Apr 16, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> There does seem to have been a spate of suicides on the tracks lately, although it may be me just noticing it more.



Yes there have been - I see the Daily Operations log every day - (at 0600 or so) - and it is very depressing reading I have to say. Apart from the tragedy of each confirmed case - there are some awful incidents which result in "life changing injuries" ......


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Yes there have been - I see the Daily Operations log every day - (at 0600 or so) - and it is very depressing reading I have to say. Apart from the tragedy of each confirmed case - there are some awful incidents which result in "life changing injuries" ......



I think death is probably preferable to some life changing injuries that people would sustain after being hit by a train.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 16, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I think death is probably preferable to some life changing injuries that people would sustain after being hit by a train.



That is indeed a fair point .......there was an awful one recently with 70% burns to an individual which did not result in a death - but the trauma for the person , and those tasked with the handling and aftermath defy description. As an old railway git- who has (regrettably) been there and seen the consequences all round , you can understand the issues ....you never forget each one ....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 16, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> That is indeed a fair point .......there was an awful one recently with 70% burns to an individual which did not result in a death - but the trauma for the person , and those tasked with the handling and aftermath defy description. As an old railway git- who has (regrettably) been there and seen the consequences all round , you can understand the issues ....you never forget each one ....



I can well imagine the impact it must have on the staff and emergency services having to deal with the consequences, not to mention the poor sod themselves.


----------



## _pH_ (Apr 16, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Yes there have been - I see the Daily Operations log every day - (at 0600 or so) - and it is very depressing reading I have to say. Apart from the tragedy of each confirmed case - there are some awful incidents which result in "life changing injuries" ......


And another one at Battersea Park just before midday which apparently the person involved survived. Not sure if it was a deliberate attempt to take their own life but if so and they'd waited another 2 minutes it would have been me who hit them as I was working the following train. Such is life on the railway.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 17, 2015)

We will not expand on this - (last comments) - am working from home so had a lie in - but the fatality list was 4 yesterday - Gipsy Hill / Battersea Park / Crimple - near Harrogate/ and between St Albans and Radlett.

Note that three of them were on the Thameslink / Southern routes. 4 is exceptionally high.....


----------



## marty21 (Apr 20, 2015)

5.18 train to Chingford only stopping at last 2 stops due to 'disruptive passengers' earlier  

As I am a seasoned commuter I'm getting another train to Rectory Road and walking back from there


----------



## twentythreedom (Apr 20, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> We will not expand on this - (last comments) - am working from home so had a lie in - but the fatality list was 4 yesterday - Gipsy Hill / Battersea Park / Crimple - near Harrogate/ and between St Albans and Radlett.
> 
> Note that three of them were on the Thameslink / Southern routes. 4 is exceptionally high.....


That's grim  Aside from the tragedy of the deaths alone, the aftermath and consequences must be so awful for the workers etc involved


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 20, 2015)

Fucking Oxford. 

Signalling problems in that area have fucked trains heading North through Birmingham, so have got on a Virgin fast train to Crewe where I'll have to change for a homeward bound service. The original train I was going to get left 34 minutes late - leaving at the same time as the next scheduled Cross Cuntry one.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 20, 2015)

Arrived at Crewe ten minutes late due to emergency speed restrictions on the line between Stafford and Crewe, which meant a Virgin train behind me heading to Manchester via Crewe was also late. So I might beat my normal very delayed service back to Manchester at this rate.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 20, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> That's grim  Aside from the tragedy of the deaths alone, the aftermath and consequences must be so awful for the workers etc involved



Spring madness - there was also an attempted one at Mitcham Junction that day - and a shed load of what could have been tricky trespassers all over the UK. 

The other week - on a Friday at 1700 - a quiet time - some would be "Darwin awarders" climbed onto a signal gantry approaching London Bridge (presumably wanted the ultimate "selfie" shot) - just makes you realise the next time your train is f**ed what some of the front line staff have to deal with. 

 The LB one was not disruptive - but could have been as disruptive as the "tw**t in a tree" near the tracks at New Cross a few months ago. (about 200 cancellations for this dork) , I had an attention seeker on a gantry at Hemel one Sunday afternoon which stopped the whole line into Euston - I was all for bringing him down with carefully aimed lumps of ballast - or even sending a dog up. No - we had to wait for a trained negotiator - he came down after 3 hours and delays to about 10,000 passengers to end of service. Turns out his girlfriend had dumped him    Poor lamb. Feel better now , rant over. Good job I retire in September.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 20, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Fucking Oxford.
> 
> Signalling problems in that area have fucked trains heading North through Birmingham, so have got on a Virgin fast train to Crewe where I'll have to change for a homeward bound service. The original train I was going to get left 34 minutes late - leaving at the same time as the next scheduled Cross Cuntry one.



Some issues (which I cannot explain)  - with points north of Oxford - so only one line open bi-directionally and nothing towards the Cotswolds.

Akin to one land open out of 6 on the M40 - with a tidal flow over the "open" one. Not Cross Country's problems - but do put a claim in.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 20, 2015)

I beat the shitty delayed Cross Cuntry service that I normally get by ten minutes, despite getting two trains and a longer journey, so that's me feel a bit better. And anything is better than hanging around in New Street waiting for delayed trains.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 20, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I beat the shitty delayed Cross Cuntry service that I normally get by ten minutes, despite getting two trains and a longer journey, so that's me feel a bit better. And anything is better than hanging around in New Street waiting for delayed trains.


At least you kept moving ...the only solace in the old New Street was the in - barrier area bar - where my bro-in-law insisted you could get the best pint of Guinness in Brum. Never bought that one !


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 20, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> At least you kept moving ...the only solace in the old New Street was the in - barrier area bar - where my bro-in-law insisted you could get the best pint of Guinness in Brum. Never bought that one !



That was my thinking - just keep heading in the right direction, and get there eventually.  It's just dull hanging around in stations for a train that never arrives.  

I still blame Cross Cuntry though - everything is _always_ their fault because they're shite.


----------



## T & P (Apr 22, 2015)

Driving in the Battersea Power Station/ Chelsea Bridge area and its approaches has been a never-ending nightmare for longer than I care to remember now. The redesign of the Queen's Circus roundabout is not in its *ninth* month, with no clear indication of when it will be finished.

Is there any other nation on Earth where it would be considered normal, let alone tolerated, for roadworks on a fucking roundabout to take the best part of a year? Are we so accustomed to innefective, corrupted contracted work practices that we think nothing of improvement works on an area smaller than half a football pitch to take this long? They would build a 200-mile motorway in France in less time, for fuck's sake. How on earth can it take a year to redesign a roundabout? 

   x 1,000


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 22, 2015)

T & P said:


> Driving in the Battersea Power Station/ Chelsea Bridge area and its approaches has been a never-ending nightmare for longer than I care to remember now. The redesign of the Queen's Circus roundabout is not in its *ninth* month, with no clear indication of when it will be finished.
> 
> Is there any other nation on Earth where it would be considered normal, let alone tolerated, for roadworks on a fucking roundabout to take the best part of a year? Are we so accustomed to innefective, corrupted contracted work practices that we think nothing of improvement works on an area smaller than half a football pitch to take this long? They would build a 200-mile motorway in France in less time, for fuck's sake. How on earth can it take a year to redesign a roundabout?
> 
> x 1,000




The M3 junction with the M25 heading south had roadworks for just over three years


----------



## machine cat (Apr 22, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I beat the shitty delayed Cross Cuntry service that I normally get by ten minutes, despite getting two trains and a longer journey, so that's me feel a bit better. And anything is better than hanging around in New Street waiting for delayed trains.


This is what I'm doing right now


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 22, 2015)

machine cat said:


> This is what I'm doing right now



Good luck!


----------



## machine cat (Apr 22, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Good luck!



 Finally on the train and heading up north. I always keep a couple of cans of cider with me whenever I have to travel via New Street.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 22, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Finally on the train and heading up north. I always keep a couple of cans of cider with me whenever I have to travel via New Street.



Sensible plan - it's either booze or crack to deaden the pain of having to use that station.


----------



## machine cat (Apr 22, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Sensible plan - it's either booze or crack to deaden the pain of having to use that station.



 It had to be by far the worst train station I've been to, and I've been to a lot. I can deal with all the new changes, but why on earth are the platforms so narrow?

Anyway, that's behind me for the next week or so, just on the final leg - Leeds to Huddersfield, which is relatively painless.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 22, 2015)

machine cat said:


> It had to be by far the worst train station I've been to, and I've been to a lot. I can deal with all the new changes, but why on earth are the platforms so narrow?
> 
> Anyway, that's behind me for the next week or so, just on the final leg - Leeds to Huddersfield, which is relatively painless.



The platforms are really narrow due to the never-ending building works.  Quite why they have to make them so narrow is a mystery - its heaving at rush hour.  

And there is usually one broken escalator on each platform end, and they don't have the sense to realise that they should make the functional one go in the direction of the prevailing traffic at rush hour.  Useless buggers.


----------



## machine cat (Apr 22, 2015)

Yes, I experienced a broken escalator this afternoon  

 I've been travelling there on and off for the best part of three years and all the changes just make things worse. 

I also have to use Moor St too, which in comparison is not only logical, but a pleasure to be in.


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 22, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Yes, I experienced a broken escalator this afternoon
> 
> I've been travelling there on and off for the best part of three years and all the changes just make things worse.
> 
> I also have to use Moor St too, which in comparison is not only logical, but a pleasure to be in.



Major pain in the ass I know - but salvation (well short of) ,is not too far away with the completion of the works at New Street not too far away - though the circulating area above will be much improved , the platforms remain a challenge in terms of space - the old lavatory ambience ought/ will be bettered. 

No joke - but a very good old mate of mine was the project manage for this job (for a major Train Operator) - and the stress of the job finally got to him - and he had to give up working. He took it very personally and worked himself into a corner.


----------



## machine cat (Apr 22, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> No joke - but a very good old mate of mine was the project manage for this job (for a major Train Operator) - and the stress of the job finally got to him - and he had to give up working. He took it very personally and worked himself into a corner.



I'm sorry to hear that about your mate, and I can understand how that could get to someone. The place was a mess to begin with, how can they ever improve it? Compared to other major city links: Newcastle (a joy), York (same), Leeds (cold but logical), Sheffield (meh), NS just doesn't make sense. No clearly marked exits, platforms in a bizarre order, too narrow, and now no pub!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 22, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Major pain in the ass I know - but salvation (well short of) ,is not too far away with the completion of the works at New Street not too far away - though the circulating area above will be much improved , the platforms remain a challenge in terms of space - the old lavatory ambience ought/ will be bettered.
> 
> No joke - but a very good old mate of mine was the project manage for this job (for a major Train Operator) - and the stress of the job finally got to him - and he had to give up working. He took it very personally and worked himself into a corner.


Sorry to hear about your friend too. 

I don't care about the circulating area (aka shopping centre) - I'll be happy if the get the escalators working and some proper signage.  The basic things go a long way to make commuting bearable.


----------



## machine cat (Apr 22, 2015)

That whole Virgin Train airport lounge place is taking the piss as well. Just show me where the fucking platforms are!


----------



## twentythreedom (Apr 22, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I beat the shitty delayed Cross Cuntry service that I normally get by ten minutes, despite getting two trains and a longer journey, so that's me feel a bit better. And anything is better than hanging around in New Street waiting for delayed trains.


How far and long is your regular commute?


----------



## twentythreedom (Apr 22, 2015)

Oh and I read that the guy who recently got hit in the head by a tube at Stockwell has died  RIP


----------



## porp (Apr 23, 2015)

T & P said:


> Driving in the Battersea Power Station/ Chelsea Bridge area and its approaches has been a never-ending nightmare for longer than I care to remember now. The redesign of the Queen's Circus roundabout is not in its *ninth* month, with no clear indication of when it will be finished.
> 
> Is there any other nation on Earth where it would be considered normal, let alone tolerated, for roadworks on a fucking roundabout to take the best part of a year? Are we so accustomed to innefective, corrupted contracted work practices that we think nothing of improvement works on an area smaller than half a football pitch to take this long? They would build a 200-mile motorway in France in less time, for fuck's sake. How on earth can it take a year to redesign a roundabout?
> 
> x 1,000


Agreed x1000. Maybe you could include the environs of Victoria Station in your drive just to get a comparative sense of how *forever *these things take. Hard Hats? Brass neck, more like.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> How far and long is your regular commute?



I think its about 90 miles, so not too bad.  It's a direct train so its bearable.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Oh and I read that the guy who recently got hit in the head by a tube at Stockwell has died  RIP



I know - poor bloke.


----------



## machine cat (Apr 23, 2015)

Regular commute today so no New Street


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Apr 23, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Regular commute today so no New Street


Where the hell is your commute to nowadays?!


----------



## machine cat (Apr 23, 2015)

Nancy_Winks said:


> Where the hell is your commute to nowadays?!



Leeds still (new office though, not that nice one by the park), but I have to work in either Birmingham, Rotherham or Newcastle once a week.


----------



## tommers (Apr 23, 2015)

Signalling problems delayed the central line.   So I missed my last connection.  Now different signalling problems have cancelled my next two trains.  Fuck this.


----------



## tommers (Apr 23, 2015)

I'd cycle every day but it's a 40 mile round trip.  Maybe once I get my legs back after winter.   At the moment every time I try the train one part of my journey just isn't working.


----------



## pogo 10 (Apr 23, 2015)

tommers said:


> Signalling problems delayed the central line.   So I missed my last connection.  Now different signalling problems have cancelled my next two trains.  Fuck this.


What a nightmare, puts you off wanting to take the train.


----------



## Nancy_Winks (Apr 23, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Leeds still (new office though, not that nice one by the park), but I have to work in either Birmingham, Rotherham or Newcastle once a week.


Ah right. Hope alls well with you the missus and the nippers mate xx


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2015)

tommers said:


> Signalling problems delayed the central line.   So I missed my last connection.  Now different signalling problems have cancelled my next two trains.  Fuck this.


Sounds shit. Mine is ok this morning so far, which normally means it'll go tits up on the way home.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Apr 23, 2015)

I'm still at home, just had some bacon, waiting for my lift.

You're all very unfortunate, I feel for you all.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> I'm still at home, just had some bacon, waiting for my lift.
> 
> You're all very unfortunate, I feel for you all.


Don't rub it in!


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Apr 23, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Don't rub it in!




Fuck sake - I have to walk round the corner now.

Round the fucking corner!!!11!!!!1!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 23, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> Fuck sake - I have to walk round the corner now.
> 
> Round the fucking corner!!!11!!!!1!


I hate you!


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Apr 23, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I hate you!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 26, 2015)

The trains all seem to be going tits up tonight. Doesn't bode well for tomorrow morning...


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 27, 2015)

south west trains is in what is best described as clusterfuck mode this evening

blargh


----------



## kabbes (Apr 27, 2015)

Got to Waterloo and EVERY train was delayed or cancelled...

Then by some miracle my one and mine alone ran on time!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 27, 2015)

since there was a failed train blocking all lines on the windsor side of clapham junction, i did not have much confidence...

currently heading to reading on great western...


----------



## Winot (Apr 27, 2015)

Extraordinary photo of Waterloo on Twitter:


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 27, 2015)

That looks a shite way to start the week Winot.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 27, 2015)

clapham junction was not quite that bad

but the rail staff seemed to be hiding and letting the security blokes try and deal with it...


----------



## magneze (Apr 27, 2015)

Someone killed at Surbiton just before lunchtime. Saw the body bag being removed from the tracks.
[emoji20]


----------



## kabbes (Apr 27, 2015)

Winot said:


> Extraordinary photo of Waterloo on Twitter:
> 
> View attachment 70809


I don't know how I dodged that bullet but I'm glad I did!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 27, 2015)

home only an hour late

bus, victoria line, bakerloo line to paddington.  train to reading.  absence of trains at reading heading back this way, so another bus to puddyville.

blargh


----------



## Winot (Apr 27, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> That looks a shite way to start the week Winot.



Luckily not my week - I just noticed it on Twitter. Feel very sorry for anyone who commutes full stop.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 28, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Got to Waterloo and EVERY train was delayed or cancelled...
> 
> Then by some miracle my one and mine alone ran on time!



Very pleased for you.

Getting home at 1am was sweet.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 28, 2015)

Some cunt in a seat on the other side of the aisle is eating cream cheese & chive pringles, and they fucking stink. The filthy twats.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 28, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Some cunt in a seat on the other side of the aisle is eating cream cheese & chive pringles, and they fucking stink. The filthy twats.



Nothing that ten years in the gulag won't cure.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Nothing that ten years in the gulag won't cure.


And made to eat nothing but dog shit as a just punishment.


----------



## hot air baboon (Apr 28, 2015)

....I remember clealry the time I was sitting on an extremely packed evening train ready to depart when the individual opposite ( who looked as if he may have spent all day on a building site ) started in on one of those small barge-shaped french bread pizza things poking out of a cardboard box...at the first bite the bottom of the box flipped open and this thing slid down his front like an RNLI lifeboat down a slip-way and disappeared between his legs onto the floor...I nearly bust a gut trying not to laugh hysterically...despite the generally unhygienic state of train floors he was not deterred however and then began a comedy shifting downwards manouvre to retrieve the cheesy flotsam...

.....a born comedian that bloke..Rowan Atkinson couldn't have done it any better....


----------



## Dogsauce (Apr 28, 2015)

The £2 coin has been in circulation for sixteen years, you'd have thought the ticket machines in the principal station of Britain's third biggest city might have cottoned on to their existence by now.  Fortunately not a big queue at the windows so I didn't miss my train this time.

(but hey, the twats have wisely spent their money on a creepy hologram lady by the barriers reciting useless information)


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 28, 2015)

Oh, inquired about some compo for last night's debacle; As I have an annual season ticket I can't have any, but will get some money off my next season ticket. I'm not going to get another one though, SWT have worn me down so much that I'm gonna cut back on using their services so won't need a season ticket. No compo then.

On the plus side, by buying a daily ticket 2 or 3 times a weeks it'll cost about the same as an annual ticket, but I can claim compo every day there's a delay, so should work out cheaper


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Oh, inquired about some compo for last night's debacle; As I have an annual season ticket I can't have any, but will get some money off my next season ticket. I'm not going to get another one though, SWT have worn me down so much that I'm gonna cut back on using their services so won't need a season ticket. No compo then.
> 
> On the plus side, by buying a daily ticket 2 or 3 times a weeks it'll cost about the same as an annual ticket, but I can claim compo every day there's a delay, so should work out cheaper


If the deduction for season tickets is for Void Days, you can still claim it even if you don't renew it. You have to demand it because they don't offer it voluntarily. The ticket office where you bought the tickets is the place. I got £500 back one year due to especially shit service.


----------



## marty21 (Apr 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Oh, inquired about some compo for last night's debacle; As I have an annual season ticket I can't have any, but will get some money off my next season ticket. I'm not going to get another one though, SWT have worn me down so much that I'm gonna cut back on using their services so won't need a season ticket. No compo then.
> 
> On the plus side, by buying a daily ticket 2 or 3 times a weeks it'll cost about the same as an annual ticket, but I can claim compo every day there's a delay, so should work out cheaper


 you could also do what the nation's biggest fair dodger (until he was caught and paid up) did


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 28, 2015)

marty21 said:


> you could also do what the nation's biggest fair dodger (until he was caught and paid up) did



I had 18 months of bunking it to Waterloo, I'll settle for that thanks!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 28, 2015)

More shitty service tonight from the useless bastards. Freight trains in the way, congestion around New Street, then a leisurely detour on a slow route because some stupid twat has driven a lorry into a bridge on the mainline.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 28, 2015)

Apparently Waterloo's fucked AGAIN tonight. Thank christ I'm working from home today. 

Shower.Of.Shite.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Apparently Waterloo's fucked AGAIN tonight. Thank christ I'm working from home today.
> 
> Shower.Of.Shite.



the line here seemed ok when i travelled home today - things were not great this morning though


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 28, 2015)

They seem to have finally admitted that the escalators at Birmingham New Street are properly fucked. 31 out of 54 is appalling.  

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-32493056


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Shower.Of.Shite.



I prefer Bunch.Of.Cunts

They have been so many major problems lately it makes you wonder what the fuck is going on.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 29, 2015)

The excuse I heard this morning for the delay was certainly novel, and made everyone laugh on the train.  We were held for 15 minutes and the train manager came on the PA to tell us why.  She started with 'you won't believe this but...' and explained the following...


The train in front had struck a bird.
The poor unfortunate creature had been thrown upwards by the impact and hit the OHL.
It then caught fire.
It then got thrown off the OHL and landed on top of the aircon unit on Coach F.
Coach F then filled with smoke.
They had to evacuate the carriage, and were thinking about evacuating the whole train.
Everything had to wait until Network Rail had inspected the OHL for damage.
I had an image of a poor bird streaking through the air trailing fire behind it.  

(((bird)))


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 29, 2015)

Such are the vagaries of the wonderful (John Major - bless !) , there will now be a debate as to the size of the bird and who takes the delay minutes blame. Anything more than a pheasant is "act of God" - so NR not responsible. Reminds me of a Reg Perrin excuse - "Albatros on the line at Albany Park" ....scenario. 

Crap day again for the Brighton line - no less than 2 broken rails - Gatwick and Wandsworth Common - the train and station staff must be wondering what next ? - not great elsewhere - and I will not go into the "unexpalined trespassers and deaths" tales in the last 24 hours ....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 29, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Such are the vagaries of the wonderful (John Major - bless !) , there will now be a debate as to the size of the bird and who takes the delay minutes blame. Anything more than a pheasant is "act of God" - so NR not responsible. Reminds me of a Reg Perrin excuse - "Albatros on the line at Albany Park" ....scenario.
> 
> Crap day again for the Brighton line - no less than 2 broken rails - Gatwick and Wandsworth Common - the train and station staff must be wondering what next ? - not great elsewhere - and I will not go into the "unexpalined trespassers and deaths" tales in the last 24 hours ....



We were wondering what type of bird it was.  It must have been larger than a songbird like a tit, as a tiny bird would presumably be pulped on impact.  I suppose the air displacement could have thrown a small bird onto the OHL.

I hope they were serving crispy fried duck for breakfast in first class.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 29, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> We were wondering what type of bird it was.  It must have been larger than a songbird like a tit, as a tiny bird would presumably be pulped on impact.  I suppose the air displacement could have thrown a small bird onto the OHL.
> 
> I hope they were serving crispy fried duck for breakfast in first class.


only because they'd run out of kippers


----------



## davesgcr (Apr 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> only because they'd run out of kippers


Dream on ...."Kippers" never made it in Beardie's wonderful West Coast Main line - county yourself lucky for a "joke" full breakfast of microwaved sausage , rubber egg , one piece of bacon , about 3 tiny mushrooms and no extras .....or a 30p worth of bacon roll.....(where did the baked beans / proper saute spuds go I wonder ?) .......


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 29, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Dream on ...."Kippers" never made it in Beardie's wonderful West Coast Main line - county yourself lucky for a "joke" full breakfast of microwaved sausage , rubber egg , one piece of bacon , about 3 tiny mushrooms and no extras .....or a 30p worth of bacon roll.....(where did the baked beans / proper saute spuds go I wonder ?) .......


i had kippers on the train from york to london back in 1984 and i can still remember it


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 29, 2015)

Pickman's model said:


> i had kippers on the train from york to london back in 1984 and i can still remember it



And so can every other fucking passenger.


----------



## Pickman's model (Apr 29, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> And so can every other fucking passenger.


trampling on my memories like that


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 30, 2015)

major balls up in clapham junction area today affecting all southern services


----------



## tommers (Apr 30, 2015)

Yes,  and combine that with the fire near Wandsworth that is still affecting overground trains makes this a good day to be working from home.


----------



## tommers (Apr 30, 2015)

apparently there are also problems with first great Western for trains into work as well. 

So that's pretty much all four stages of my journey. 

Or at least what it would have been if I wasn't sat here drinking coffee on my sofa.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 30, 2015)

NR asking people not to come to Victoria Station now. Like people go there for the shits and giggles in the first place 

I'm at home, so sod everyone else having a nightmare today 

eta, plus this on my line: The following train services may be cancelled due to signalling problems
- The 17:15, 17:30, 17:45, 18:00, 18:18, 18:30, 18:45, 19:15, 19:30, 19:45 and 20:00.


----------



## tommers (Apr 30, 2015)

It sounds like total chaos out there at the moment.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 30, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> NR asking people not to come to Victoria Station now. Like people go there for the shits and giggles in the first place
> 
> I'm at home, so sod everyone else having a nightmare today
> 
> ...


Ooh, get you with your three to four trains an hour.

Fucking trains fucking suck.  As ever, the Mash has the final word:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/shit-only-accurate-word-for-trains-2015042997856


----------



## Dan U (Apr 30, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> They seem to have finally admitted that the escalators at Birmingham New Street are properly fucked. 31 out of 54 is appalling.
> 
> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-32493056


Woman I work with fell down one of the non working ones yesterday and has fucked her back. 

I've used new Street two days this week and it's still a nightmare. In fact central Birmingham is a nightmare, I guess there is a school of thought that says you do all your major works at once to reduce the time you fuck everything up but it's a proper ball ache to walk around if your not a local.


----------



## twentythreedom (Apr 30, 2015)

Was listening to LBC earlier - interviewing traumatised commuters who'd spent 5hrs on a stationary train outside Clapham Junction. Fuck that


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 30, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> Was listening to LBC earlier - interviewing traumatised commuters who'd spent 5hrs on a stationary train outside Clapham Junction. Fuck that



meep.

i was only about half an hour late to work...


----------



## twentythreedom (Apr 30, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> meep.
> 
> i was only about half an hour late to work...


What is this "work" of which you speak?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 30, 2015)

Dan U said:


> Woman I work with fell down one of the non working ones yesterday and has fucked her back.
> 
> I've used new Street two days this week and it's still a nightmare. In fact central Birmingham is a nightmare, I guess there is a school of thought that says you do all your major works at once to reduce the time you fuck everything up but it's a proper ball ache to walk around if your not a local.



I hope she recovers ok, and hope she put it in their accident book.  

It's a serious problem for people unable to walk down them when they're not working, as the lifts can only carry so many people at a time, so it would be easy to miss trains because of Network Rail's utter incompetence.  Quite why they haven't sued the supplier of the escalators is a mystery - they really should have tested them thoroughly to make sure they worked before opening them for public use.


----------



## equationgirl (Apr 30, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I hope she recovers ok, and hope she put it in their accident book.
> 
> It's a serious problem for people unable to walk down them when they're not working, as the lifts can only carry so many people at a time, so it would be easy to miss trains because of Network Rail's utter incompetence.  Quite why they haven't sued the supplier of the escalators is a mystery - they really should have tested them thoroughly to make sure they worked before opening them for public use.


Most large engineering contracts have some form of 'remediation' clause, where the contractor has to put the problems right first. If still not resolved there may be a further chance or they may then proceed to dispute resolution.

Does beg some questions about installation and commissioning checks but if it's a part or subsystem bought in from a third party that's not up to standard the investigation to find out what has gone wrong could be lengthy and complex (for example there are known cases in my industry of substandard parts with paperwork falsified quality/sign off paperwork), hence the 'not being sued yet'.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Apr 30, 2015)

twentythreedom said:


> What is this "work" of which you speak?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 1, 2015)

equationgirl said:


> Most large engineering contracts have some form of 'remediation' clause, where the contractor has to put the problems right first. If still not resolved there may be a further chance or they may then proceed to dispute resolution.
> 
> Does beg some questions about installation and commissioning checks but if it's a part or subsystem bought in from a third party that's not up to standard the investigation to find out what has gone wrong could be lengthy and complex (for example there are known cases in my industry of substandard parts with paperwork falsified quality/sign off paperwork), hence the 'not being sued yet'.


They should sue them anyway and put the company directors in the stocks on the station concourse simply because it pisses me off every day.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 1, 2015)

Still some problems in the south from yesterday it says on the service disruption page - Gatwick Express and Southern services. Good luck to anyone travelling on those routes today.


----------



## kabbes (May 1, 2015)

"So we meet again," Southern tells commuters


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 1, 2015)

Southwest Trains going for a full house this week...

Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Bahntown.

The 18:45 will have 8 instead of 12 coaches due to a train fault.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 1, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Southwest Trains going for a full house this week...
> 
> Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Bahntown.
> 
> The 18:45 will have 8 instead of 12 coaches due to a train fault.



What the fuck is going on with trains in that region this week!  Piss up and brewery.


----------



## tommers (May 1, 2015)

kabbes said:


> "So we meet again," Southern tells commuters


That did make me laugh when I saw it.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 1, 2015)

tommers said:


> That did make me laugh when I saw it.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 5, 2015)

And we're back at work today...

Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Bahntown.The following train services may be delayed due to earlier signalling problems
- The 18:18, 18:30, 19:15, 19:30, 19:45 and 20:00


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

Due in Waterloo in 15 minutes, however to my right is a field full of horses, two of whom are having a shag. Suspect we may be late. Again.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Due in Waterloo in 15 minutes, however to my right is a field full of horses, two of whom are having a shag. Suspect we may be late. Again.


Are all the passengers perving at the horny horses?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 6, 2015)

problems reported at surbiton and waterloo this morning.

don't think delays caused by shagging horses


----------



## magneze (May 6, 2015)

All fucked. Should have stayed in bed.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Are all the passengers perving at the horny horses?



A number of us had a giggle, but we're generally too shocked at SWT's ability to fuck up our day to get too carried away with it.

Just crawled through Wimbledon, supposed to arrive in Waterloo at 0833, now 0843, reckon on another 20 minutes at least.

Although the guard has somewhat optimistically just apologised for us running "approximately 8 minutes late."


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

45 minutes late on a 45 minute journey. Impressive level of shitness there.


----------



## magneze (May 6, 2015)

Got bus at Kingston. Driver on the wrong bus. Back to Kingston. FFS.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

This is what happened this morning...

The first incident happened at approximately 0610 this morning when signalling equipment at a critical junction between Woking and Surbiton became faulty and trains were unable to run through the affected area.

At 0716 train crew on a service at Teddington reported problems with the train’s alternator, which meant the train could not continue to London Waterloo. While the crew were moving the train out of the way, it delayed trains behind.

At 0739, a fault then affected the signalling equipment at London Waterloo, meaning train services were unable to enter or leave platforms 8 – 14.


Train wankers.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

Oh they're taking the fucking piss out of me now...

Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Bahntown.

The following train services may be delayed after leaving due to signalling problems
- The 17:15, 17:30, 17:45, 18:00, 18:18, 18:30, 18:45, 19:15, 19:30, 19:45 and 20:00.


----------



## Yu_Gi_Oh (May 6, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> This is what happened this morning...
> 
> The first incident happened at approximately 0610 this morning when signalling equipment at a critical junction between Woking and Surbiton became faulty and trains were unable to run through the affected area.
> 
> ...



I was nearly late for an exam in London due to this this morning. It was awful. I cried. Other passengers on the train had to give me tissues when I started weeping into my scarf.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)




----------



## Yu_Gi_Oh (May 6, 2015)

I was quite happy snotting all over my scarf tbf, they didn't realise I have low standards. It's pretty much what a scarf is for imo. But very lovely of them.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 6, 2015)

magneze said:


> All fucked.


the horses or the trains?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 6, 2015)

and aaaargh.  

leaves on the line at arsecot, unfortunately with the rest of the tree attached.

tickets being accepted via paddington.

bakerloo line has ceased functioning.

hmph


----------



## davesgcr (May 6, 2015)

I just do not get it with Waterloo disruption ? - they never get the service back after disruption (S++t happens) , but in most places (says the 36 years in the industry dinosaur) - the am is f++ed , and the afternoon shift pulls it back - mostly. 

Take the meltdown at Clapham on Southern last week - 2 tracks back at 1500 , all lines at 1610 - they managed to scrape a "reasonable" service and got people home with 9 trains  knackered at VC (the fault being entirely Network Rail) - just glad I am retiring in September.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 6, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Oh they're taking the fucking piss out of me now...
> 
> Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Bahntown.
> 
> ...



Perhaps ride a horse home?


----------



## sovereignb (May 6, 2015)

Came across 2 rascist chav girls on the Jubilee Line, who had an issue with me making comment on one "saving a seat" for the other. Truly vile girls, who couldnt have been more than 20 years old. Honestly, so much temptation to knock one of them out, but didnt rise to the bait, as they were clearly trying to cause some kind of drama from when they got on the train. I was VERY tempted though and if the train didnt arrive at my stop at that point, it could have gone completely differently.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

sovereignb said:


> Came across 2 rascist chav girls on the Jubilee Line, who had an issue with me making comment on one "saving a seat" for the other. Truly vile girls, who couldnt have been more than 20 years old. Honestly, so much temptation to knock one of them out, but didnt rise to the bait, as they were clearly trying to cause some kind of drama from when they got on the train. I was VERY tempted though and if the train didnt arrive at my stop at that point, it could have gone completely differently.



Fuck off.


----------



## sovereignb (May 6, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Fuck off.


What a charmer you are


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

sovereignb said:


> What a charmer you are



And what an arsehole you are.


----------



## sovereignb (May 6, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> And what an arsehole you are.



Hmmmm and this opinion is based on...?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

sovereignb said:


> Hmmmm and this opinion is based on...?



Your post.


----------



## sovereignb (May 6, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Your post.



ok


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 6, 2015)

sovereignb said:


> ok



Now fuck off.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 6, 2015)

Twice.


----------



## sovereignb (May 6, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Now fuck off.





5t3IIa said:


> Twice.



All these articulate posts are riveting.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 7, 2015)

sovereignb said:


> All these articulate posts are riveting.



Go fuck yourself.

Why not beat up a girl on the way.

If the child you choose to lamp is a chav, so much the better.

Your utter prick.


----------



## sovereignb (May 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Go fuck yourself.
> 
> Why not beat up a girl on the way.
> 
> ...



You really do have a beautiful way with words 

Forgive me, but foul mouthed racist  runts with no consideration for others tend to rub me up the wrong way, regardless if they are female or male.
That doesn't mean i go around hitting everyone and i'm not sure where your "child" comment is relevant, as this woman was about 20 years old...maybe that's a child in your eyes. Indeed i did not hit her, but a smack in the mouth is exactly what  any person behaving in the manner they were, deserves. If that makes me a prick, im happy to be a prick 

Good night, God bless and ignored...


----------



## kabbes (May 7, 2015)

No, he's right.  You are clearly an arsehole.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2015)

Anyway, back to trains. The train I'm on is very busy and not only can I feel the body heat of the person sat next to me  but people are talking.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2015)

For fucks sake - a woman has sat next to me and is reading the Daily Express, with fucking UKIP shit plastered all over it.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2015)

Points failure around Stafford causing delays in the area. Been sat on a train at Wolverhampton for 20 minutes so far...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 7, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Points failure around Stafford causing delays in the area. Been sat on a train at Wolverhampton for 20 minutes so far...



20 minutes in Wolverhampton is beyond forgivable.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 20 minutes in Wolverhampton is beyond forgivable.


I know. 

We're now around 45 minutes behind schedule. Twats.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 7, 2015)

Over an hour late in the end.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 13, 2015)

In honour of the shitty escalators at Birmingham New Street, they've started to taunt us long suffering passengers by installing sculptures.  







'Useless', by Network Rail, 2015. 
A study of futility in steel, cardboard and plastic.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 14, 2015)

SWT back on form this morning. Emergency engineering works at Wimbledon means that trains terminate at Woking. No real chance of getting to town before 11am.

Cunts.


----------



## kabbes (May 14, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> SWT back on form this morning. Emergency engineering works at Wimbledon means that trains terminate at Woking. No real chance of getting to town before 11am.
> 
> Cunts.


Signal failures meant my train terminated at Epsom.

Cunts.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 14, 2015)

Mine is running ok - slightly delayed but that counts as a good day. Too many people talking on the train and oddly a woman has bought a coffee from the trolley and added five of those nasty UHT milk pots. She obviously has no taste buds.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 14, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Signal failures meant my train terminated at Epsom.
> 
> Cunts.



Epsom? Sterling effort there.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Mine is running ok - slightly delayed but that counts as a good day. Too many people talking on the train and oddly a woman has bought a coffee from the trolley and added five of those nasty UHT milk pots. She obviously has no taste buds.



Someone bought something from the trolley? Melinda Gates takes your train?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 14, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Someone bought something from the trolley? Melinda Gates takes your train?


She was obviously an occasional train traveller. Us regulars know the trolley is overpriced shite.


----------



## Santino (May 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> She was obviously an occasional train traveller. Us regulars know the trolley is overpriced shite.


"We regulars"


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 14, 2015)

Santino said:


> "We regulars"


"You pedants"


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 14, 2015)

My train tonight is blessed and therefore cannot be late. The Bishop of Manchester is sat opposite me. 

If we are late, it proves beyond doubt that god doesn't exist. 

He is wearing jesus sandals too.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 14, 2015)

lots of 4 car instead of 8 car trains on the windsor lines side of swt this evening.

so decided to sod off half hour early for a change...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> My train tonight is blessed and therefore cannot be late. The Bishop of Manchester is sat opposite me.
> 
> If we are late, it proves beyond doubt that god doesn't exist.
> 
> He is wearing jesus sandals too.



Don't bash him


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 14, 2015)

And yeah, seeing as it's raining, SWT have gifted us...

Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Bahntown.
The following train services may be delayed after leaving due to a trespass incident
- The 17:15, 17:30, 17:45, 18:00, 18:18, 18:30, 19:15, 19:30, 19:45 and 20:00.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 14, 2015)

Well, fuck the Church of bastard England - we're fucking late.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Well, fuck the Church of bastard England - we're fucking late.



Jesus is a tory


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 15, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Jesus is a tory


I wouldn't be surprised if the church had shares in the privatised rail companies.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 15, 2015)

Fatality at Norton Bridge causing substantial chaos. Mine slightly late, but boiling hot train and jam packed. Someone has key tones set on their phone and all I can hear is 'beep beep beep, boop boop boop' as they type text messages into it. I want to shove the phone up their inconsiderate fucking arse.


----------



## machine cat (May 18, 2015)

Birmingham again. First leg to Manchester is usually painless enough. Seat reserved for the second leg do looking good until NS.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 18, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Birmingham again. First leg to Manchester is usually painless enough. Seat reserved for the second leg do looking good until NS.


I'm en route to Birmingham now, so I'll let you know if it goes tits up.


----------



## machine cat (May 18, 2015)

At least it's a lovely day


----------



## machine cat (May 18, 2015)

So far so good. Although fellow passengers seem to be in a good mood


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 18, 2015)

machine cat said:


> So far so good. Although fellow passengers seem to be in a good mood


Are you there yet? 

My train was 1 minute late, which is far better than the usual performance.


----------



## machine cat (May 18, 2015)

Been here a couple of hours. Train was on time and uneventful. It's always the journey home which is worse.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 18, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Been here a couple of hours. Train was on time and uneventful. It's always the journey home which is worse.


Which should be about now...

My train back to Manchester is running ok at the moment, and no problems were reported on the line up until departure so you might have an uneventful trip fingers crossed.


----------



## machine cat (May 18, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Which should be about now...
> 
> My train back to Manchester is running ok at the moment, and no problems were reported on the line up until departure so you might have an uneventful trip fingers crossed.



Decided to get the Leeds train home as the thought of Piccadilly at this time was too much to bare. So far, so good.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 22, 2015)




----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 22, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


>




I trust the trolley will be serving beefburgers for the remainder of the journey.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 22, 2015)

My journeys haven't been too bad this week overall, amazingly,  They'll be horrendous next week as payback.


----------



## Maurice Picarda (May 22, 2015)

Next week is half term, though.


----------



## machine cat (Jun 1, 2015)

Anyone know what Piccadilly is like this morning?


----------



## Roadkill (Jun 1, 2015)

Can't believe how busy the 0625 Hull-Kings Cross is. We've been slightly delayed by a points failure at Hull station, but near enough back on time by the time we left Doncaster. I just hope the 2030 from London this evening runs smoothly...


----------



## machine cat (Jun 1, 2015)

Early into Piccadilly today. Hopefully the train to New St. is as pleasant.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 1, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Anyone know what Piccadilly is like this morning?


Actually very quiet when I passed through just after 7 - I wondered whether I'd made a mistake and it was Sunday.


----------



## machine cat (Jun 1, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Actually very quiet when I passed through just after 7 - I wondered whether I'd made a mistake and it was Sunday.


I'm here now. Busy, but everything running smoothly.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 1, 2015)

machine cat said:


> I'm here now. Busy, but everything running smoothly.


Either I got there just before the rush or I hit a weird lull. My train is nice and quiet for now. You heading to Birmingham today then?


----------



## machine cat (Jun 1, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Either I got there just before the rush or I hit a weird lull. My train is nice and quiet for now. You heading to Birmingham today then?



 Yep, train just setting off now. Am staying over so don't have to do this again tomorrow


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 1, 2015)

last week was notable for an absence of transport related cock ups.

i'm sure this week will balance it out...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 1, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> last week was notable for an absence of transport related cock ups.
> 
> i'm sure this week will balance it out...


I suppose we'll see if the industrial action goes ahead - that will cause problems. I'll work at home if it does so I don't care!


----------



## Roadkill (Jun 1, 2015)

A bloke across the aisle from my table has fallen asleep and his wig has started to fall off.


----------



## Dogsauce (Jun 1, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> last week was notable for an absence of transport related cock ups.
> 
> i'm sure this week will balance it out...



It was half-term up here, so no school run bollocksing everything up, just that little bit less traffic everywhere is all that's needed for things to work better.  I suggest a King Herod-style cull of children as a solution to our congested cities.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 1, 2015)

Annual season ticket expired yesterday, decided not to re-new, but to buy daily tickets and see how we get on from there.

Bought first ticket this morning, the 0745 was showing as 0750, the 0754 was 'On Time'

Revenue protection scum swarming all over the station, practicing their most miserable faces.

Cross to my platform, settle down with a Metro and an announcement, "Sorry to announce the 0745 is cancelled due to ________, we're very sorry for the inconvenience."

And now the 0754 has turned in to 'Delayed'.

By 0845 no sign of any trains, so cross back over to the other side, past revenue protection cunts, and cash in my ticket and go home.

Good start to the new year Southwest Trains 

Will try again on Wednesday.


----------



## machine cat (Jun 1, 2015)

Staff checking tickets at New St? What madness is this?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 1, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Staff checking tickets at New St? What madness is this?


It's quite random - there's many a time they don't. 

My train home hit a fucking tree before it got to the station and was cancelled, so I've had to get another one with a change at the awful Crewe station.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 2, 2015)

Day two with no season ticket:

*checks SWT website. Over running engineering works near Havant means delays of 60 minutes.

Rolls over and sets alarm for 0850.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 2, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Day two with no season ticket:
> 
> *checks SWT website. Over running engineering works near Havant means delays of 60 minutes.
> 
> Rolls over and sets alarm for 0850.



*bangs dustbin lids together*


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 2, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> *bangs dustbin lids together*


He deserves no sympathy if he is skiving.


----------



## Roadkill (Jun 2, 2015)

Yesterday was a long old day - left home at 545am and got home about 1115pm.  It could have been a lot worse, though: at least the trains ran well.  We were even a few minutes early getting into Hull on the way back, so I could get the 1105 bus rather than waiting for the next one.  Still chuckling about the bloke and his wig on the journey south.


----------



## marty21 (Jun 2, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> It's quite random - there's many a time they don't.
> 
> My train home hit a fucking tree before it got to the station and was cancelled, so I've had to get another one with a change at the awful Crewe station.


 did  a tree grow on the line unnoticed?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 2, 2015)

marty21 said:


> did  a tree grow on the line unnoticed?



The driver swerved to avoid a dog


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Jun 2, 2015)

Trees on the line at Forest Hill


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 2, 2015)

marty21 said:


> did  a tree grow on the line unnoticed?


Possibly - nothing would surprise me about the strange West Midlands. 

No trees today though - so far.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 2, 2015)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Trees on the line at Forest Hill


All these trees on the line...I think they're really Triffids. Didn't we have a meteor shower not too long back?


----------



## ska invita (Jun 2, 2015)

this was it





how can that little tree cancel all trains and overground services all morning long - i could have pulled that off the line in 10 minutes

2 hours and 3 busses it took me to get to work today!


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Jun 2, 2015)

It said on twitter that the rail was damaged...took me ages to west London and back


----------



## davesgcr (Jun 2, 2015)

ska invita said:


> this was it
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Sorry chaps - the picture only shows some of the tree debris. It was more than 40 ft high and leaning over at an angle of 45 degrees over all lines - the train in the background was an empty from New Cross to West Croydon which 
ran into it - there were 40 yards plus of conductor rail grounded and over 40 insulating pots smashed.  3 lines were back in action by 0910 and the other track fixed by 1100 hrs. Not exactly an easy job to fix ....

Other trees down at Oxted (a 20 ft birch) , Ewell and in the Wimbledon area.

Lineside trees are assessed - and those in danger - even if off the direct area and on private land can be cut down. NR have a gang called "Offtrack" which deal with these items - clearly they cant second guess which tree is coming down next.  They had just a bit of a busy morning - and resources were pulled in from all over to deal with this one.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 2, 2015)

this kind of thing will only get worse once the Tories privatise the woodlands.


----------



## pogofish (Jun 2, 2015)

Driving along a stretch of fairly busy dual carriageway this morning, something odd about the Yamaha DT rider in the outside lane beside me.

Yegods, he was hunched-over, *texting* on his phone!    

I think, for the first time ever I actually wanted a dashcam to record this feat of stupidity!


----------



## davesgcr (Jun 2, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Sorry chaps - the picture only shows some of the tree debris. It was more than 40 ft high and leaning over at an angle of 45 degrees over all lines - the train in the background was an empty from New Cross to West Croydon which
> ran into it - there were 40 yards plus of conductor rail grounded and over 40 insulating pots smashed.  3 lines were back in action by 0910 and the other track fixed by 1100 hrs. Not exactly an easy job to fix ....
> 
> Other trees down at Oxted (a 20 ft birch) , Ewell and in the Wimbledon area.
> ...



Tonights railway madness has another bunch of trees down - (Cambridge line screwed till end of service)  + plus some nutter trespassers on the lines at Swanley and Folkestone.  The former is / was a family group looking for their daughter - as if you take a stroll on a line with trains doing 90 mph and third rails with 750v in profusion.


----------



## nogojones (Jun 2, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> this kind of thing will only get worse once the Tories privatise the woodlands.


suicidal trees


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 3, 2015)

Day three: a five coach train instead of a ten coach one. As the doors opened the optimism on the platform was dashed as folk fell out of the already Japanese level overcrowded train. 

Will see what the 0754 brings...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 6, 2015)

I've done some adding up on my spreadsheet that I use to track my train journey times, and out of 168 journeys to/from work this year so far, a whopping *82%* of them were late arriving at the destination station.  Useless bloody train company.


----------



## davesgcr (Jun 6, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I've done some adding up on my spreadsheet that I use to track my train journey times, and out of 168 journeys to/from work this year so far, a whopping *82%* of them were late arriving at the destination station.  Useless bloody train company.


Can you give a hint as to what journey you are doing - I can get one of my bright graduates to do some research on this ....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 6, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Can you give a hint as to what journey you are doing - I can get one of my bright graduates to do some research on this ....



Manchester to Brum.  There are a few obvious reasons as far as I can tell - congestion around Stone where they hold the train to allow another intercity to pass the junction ahead, and congestion at New Street itself.


----------



## davesgcr (Jun 6, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Manchester to Brum.  There are a few obvious reasons as far as I can tell - congestion around Stone where they hold the train to allow another intercity to pass the junction ahead, and congestion at New Street itself.


Will (time permitting) - have a little look - roughly what time of day do you set off on your travels ?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 6, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Will (time permitting) - have a little look - roughly what time of day do you set off on your travels ?



Normal rush hour time - anytime between 6 and 8 in the morning, and between 4 and 6 on the way back.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 11, 2015)

currently at a stand at bracknell.

trespasser on the line near arsecot.

blargh.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 16, 2015)

That's a first. A bloke sat next to me in the window seat suddenly retched, said 'excuse me'. I've never moved so fast to get out of the way. The poor bloke ran down the aisle and didn't quite make it to the toilet and puked on the floor outside it. He must feel terrible.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Jun 16, 2015)

Ewwwww, close call eh.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 16, 2015)

royal bloody arsecot this week.

train home will be full of silly twats in silly hats.

blargh.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 16, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> Ewwwww, close call eh.


Yeah, it wouldn't have been a great start to the day. Poor bloke is still in the loo - probably trying to clean himself up with the piss-poor sink in there. Typically, not a member of staff to be seen to let them know he might need some help.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 16, 2015)

He reappeared and seems to be ok. He said it was travel sickness. Glad I'm about to get off the train to be honest!


----------



## Dan U (Jun 16, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> That's a first. A bloke sat next to me in the window seat suddenly retched, said 'excuse me'. I've never moved so fast to get out of the way. The poor bloke ran down the aisle and didn't quite make it to the toilet and puked on the floor outside it. He must feel terrible.


I was on a packed southern train leaving Victoria on a Friday afternoon once, this guy pushed through the crowd to the door area, dropped to his knees amongst the throng of people and hurled uncontrollably in to the bin. 

It was all pretty grim, felt so sorry for the guy. In between pukes he was hugely apologetic and at pains to point out he wasn't drunk and must be food related. 

Carriage hummed a treat.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Jun 16, 2015)

Aces!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jun 16, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> royal bloody arsecot this week.
> 
> train home will be full of silly twats in silly hats.
> 
> blargh.




heh, years ago was drinking in the Swinley near Ascot station when some tosser came in wearing a morning suit and a tophat and tried getting all pally with us. We ended up nicking his hat and he was almost in tears bleating on about how it was hired and would cost him a fortune. Can't say anyone was moved enough by his plight to give it back, BB1's godfather still has that hat


----------



## marty21 (Jun 16, 2015)

Dan U said:


> I was on a packed southern train leaving Victoria on a Friday afternoon once, this guy pushed through the crowd to the door area, dropped to his knees amongst the throng of people and hurled uncontrollably in to the bin.
> 
> It was all pretty grim, felt so sorry for the guy. In between pukes he was hugely apologetic and at pains to point out he wasn't drunk and must be food related.
> 
> Carriage hummed a treat.


 I think the shit smeared on the window of a train trumps that for humminess It was also smeared on some newspaer on the floor   it was a commuter train (this thread didn't exist then) and was pretty packed as the Liverpool St to Chingford line generally is, and no one wanted to bring the shit smeared window and floor to the attention of staff as they would have taken the train out of service and it might be impossible to get on the next train which would also be packed


----------



## Dan U (Jun 16, 2015)

marty21 said:


> I think the shit smeared on the window of a train trumps that for humminess It was also smeared on some newspaer on the floor   it was a commuter train (this thread didn't exist then) and was pretty packed as the Liverpool St to Chingford line generally is, and no one wanted to bring the shit smeared window and floor to the attention of staff as they would have taken the train out of service and it might be impossible to get on the next train which would also be packed


That is proper catch 22


----------



## marty21 (Jun 16, 2015)

Dan U said:


> That is proper catch 22


 I assume they cleaned the train when it arrived, or at least checked the carriages, but there is a quick turnaround at Liverpool St


----------



## davesgcr (Jun 16, 2015)

Dan U said:


> That is proper catch 22



I have to admit I have "kept trains in service" for these reasons.....(i.e better to get people home with a bit of inconvenience / smell rather than cancel a train) 

Some dirty bastard shat a big one (must have been holding it for a week I reckon) , on a North London line train at Willesden Jct one hot afternoon. No option but to remove for "special cleaning" - any attempt at picking that up would have been traumatic. Did warn the depot though it was coming their way. Nver - thank God - seen shit on a train window though. Other things - yes - (which I wont go into)


----------



## Roadkill (Jun 16, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> I have to admit I have "kept trains in service" for these reasons.....(i.e better to get people home with a bit of inconvenience / smell rather than cancel a train)
> 
> Some dirty bastard shat a big one (must have been holding it for a week I reckon) , on a North London line train at Willesden Jct one hot afternoon. No option but to remove for "special cleaning" - any attempt at picking that up would have been traumatic. Did warn the depot though it was coming their way. Nver - thank God - seen shit on a train window though. Other things - yes - (which I wont go into)



I think the problem here is that people are taking BR's old ad campaign too literally:


----------



## davesgcr (Jun 16, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I've done some adding up on my spreadsheet that I use to track my train journey times, and out of 168 journeys to/from work this year so far, a whopping *82%* of them were late arriving at the destination station.  Useless bloody train company.


Just a bit busy - but looking at the TRUST reports for the last 24 hours - punctuality on Manchester - Bham looks pretty decent - a few mins down in the am - but often , arriving early. ....had I the IT skills , I would send this on to you.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 19, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Just a bit busy - but looking at the TRUST reports for the last 24 hours - punctuality on Manchester - Bham looks pretty decent - a few mins down in the am - but often , arriving early. ....had I the IT skills , I would send this on to you.


I'm currently running 30 minutes late so the stats may not be too accurate. 

The train followed a stupid freight train. They should only allow those to run during the night so no passenger services are disrupted.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 19, 2015)

am staying at mum-tat's so get south eastern cock ups for a change.

defective train blocking one of the two down platforms at london bridge this evening...


----------



## Zack Murray (Jun 27, 2015)

so I hit some dead stopped traffic on my way home after a pleasant hour long commute on the highway proper and this was the source






good news is, that lake is our drinking supply! mmmm....used condoms, rotten food, great fun to think about. not too sure it's much worse than what seeps in from road runoff but eugh, the thought is awful.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 27, 2015)

Zack Murray said:


> so I hit some dead stopped traffic on my way home after a pleasant hour long commute on the highway proper and this was the source
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's a rubbish thing to happen on your journey home.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Jun 27, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> That's a *rubbish* thing to happen on your journey home.


----------



## machine cat (Jun 27, 2015)

I refuse to even laugh at that pun


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 27, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


>





machine cat said:


> I refuse to even laugh at that pun


Bloody miseryguts, the pair of you.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 30, 2015)

16 minutes late.  signal failure at sunningdale.

and why does the aircon on sw trains have to be either knacked or bloody freezing?  :hmph:


----------



## davesgcr (Jun 30, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> 16 minutes late.  signal failure at sunningdale.
> 
> Almost a Reggie Perrin comment - self 15 late , air con fast train cancelled from Blackfriars - back on a boiling , all stations  non-air con 319. (Packed) .....thank God only a few more months to go.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 30, 2015)

Fucking 2:15 to get home tonight.  Everything shitting delayed and cancelled


----------



## agricola (Jun 30, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> 16 minutes late.  signal failure at sunningdale.
> 
> and why does the aircon on sw trains have to be either knacked or bloody freezing?  :hmph:



If only Virgin trains had an aircon system that offered that choice.


----------



## kabbes (Jun 30, 2015)

None of the the SW trains I get has aircon.  Last remaining commuter trains without it, apparently.  Go, SW trains!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 30, 2015)

kabbes said:


> None of the the SW trains I get has aircon. Last remaining commuter trains without it, apparently. Go, SW trains!



not sure that's the case - there's trains of broadly the same design / age on southern, and slightly older stuff (1970s rather than 1980s kit) on bits of great northern, great eastern and merseyrail and on local services round the south coast.

and the early 90s 'networkers' on south eastern doesn't have air con either.

and my train ended up 20 minutes late by the time it got here.

blargh


----------



## kabbes (Jun 30, 2015)

I don't know about the other ones, but all the Southern ones I know of do have aircon.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 30, 2015)

and what's alarming is i can remember the stuff we're now describing as 'old' being new.

in the 80s, the current trains were replacing this sort of thing, which was built in the late 40s to largely pre-war design, and slightly more technically advanced (although not much different from the passengers' perspective) units built in the 50s


----------



## toblerone3 (Jun 30, 2015)

My commute is sweet. 8.5 miles of cycling along backstreets between Kings Cross and Walthamstow Town Hall. Takes about 45 minutes on a good day.  Record is 39 minutes and something. I luv it.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 1, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> 16 minutes late.  signal failure at sunningdale.
> 
> and why does the aircon on sw trains have to be either knacked or bloody freezing?  :hmph:



Cross Country are the same.  Although on balance it is better sitting in a fridge than in a greenhouse.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 1, 2015)

Anyone experiencing speed restrictions because of the hot weather yet?


----------



## marty21 (Jul 1, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Anyone experiencing speed restrictions because of the hot weather yet?


 not yet - but they seem to be out of Paddington (which I only use occasionally) maybe QueenOfGoths ?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jul 1, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Anyone experiencing speed restrictions because of the hot weather yet?





marty21 said:


> not yet - but they seem to be out of Paddington (which I only use occasionally) maybe QueenOfGoths ?



Yes, started yesterday. Most trains seemed to be starting more or less on time but running 20 to 30 minutes late plus they have suspended some services on the branch lines   Bourne End/Marlow and Henley.

This morning my regular train was a good third down on normal so I reckon quite a few pople are working from home


----------



## Roadkill (Jul 1, 2015)

kabbes said:


> I don't know about the other ones, but all the Southern ones I know of do have aircon.



Plenty of Southern trains don't tbf.  Ditto all of the 80s/early 90s trains on South Eastern and most commuter trains elsewhere in the UK.  Indeed, in a fair few places - here included - stopping trains still consist of these horrid old sheds:


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Jul 1, 2015)

So is the idea that you derail more slowly? 

I don't understand it.

e2a: damn you Roadie - I was responding to QoGgy


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 1, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> So is the idea that you derail more slowly?
> 
> I don't understand it.
> 
> e2a: damn you Roadie - I was responding to QoGgy



Yes, a softer landing is the aim.  

I think the main reason is to avoid damaging the track further and causing an incident, as Network Rail say that slower trains exert less force on the track.

http://www.networkrail.co.uk/timetables-and-travel/delays-explained/summer-weather.aspx

davesgcr will know more about the rationale for slowing services down in hot weather.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Jul 1, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Yes, a softer landing is the aim.
> I think the main reason is to avoid damaging the track further and causing an incident, as Network Rail say that slower trains exert less force on the track.
> http://www.networkrail.co.uk/timetables-and-travel/delays-explained/summer-weather.aspx
> davesgcr will know more about the rationale for slowing services down in hot weather.



I seeeeeeeee, such a shame you can't hang your heads out the windows in this weather, get a bit of breeze


----------



## machine cat (Jul 1, 2015)

Back in Dante's Inferno 

No cock ups so far, at least not compared to the extra hour I had to endure yesterday.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 1, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> I seeeeeeeee, such a shame you can't hang your heads out the windows in this weather, get a bit of breeze



And get decapitated by a fridge hurled from a bridge by sullen youths?  Probably best not.


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 1, 2015)

Risk assesment - a derailment at 40 will generally keep the train upright .....having seen a track buckle right in front of a train I was in the cab off (South Tottenham for the record) - quite unnerving. We stopped easily enough only doing 20mph with a full and hard brake application - it was 6pm on a very hot evening  and your correspondant was keeping the service going. We inched over it at 4 mph and carried onto Barking - the PW coaxed it back in with crowbars and several buckets of cold water. It just literally "popped" in front of us......


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 1, 2015)

All about 20 mins late on Thameslink tonight - the cunning traveller knows which trains are the air con ones .....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 1, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Back in Dante's Inferno
> 
> No cock ups so far, at least not compared to the extra hour I had to endure yesterday.



Poor you for having to visit Birmingham.


----------



## machine cat (Jul 1, 2015)

Aircon kept going off and on on the way up to Leeds. At Leeds there were numerous delays. Managed to on a delayed by 30 minutes train to Huddersfield, this time no aircon at all


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 1, 2015)

fairly substantial balls-ups on both the southern and sw trains bits this evening.

blargh.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Jul 1, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Poor you for having to visit Birmingham.



Delays at Piccadilly I heard, too.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 1, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> fairly substantial balls-ups on both the southern and sw trains bits this evening.
> 
> blargh.




Nasty, worked at home today, too hot to venture out.

Have to schlep into town tomorrow though, will see what sweaty joy that brings.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (Jul 1, 2015)

Delays  coming home, 45 minutes for what on that train should be a 30 minute journey. Could have been worse tbh, the train was really empty so I put my bare feet in the seat. Yes. My bare feet *rebel*


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 1, 2015)

anyone understand 'delay repay' enough to know what to do about this evening's cock up?

my journey home is on southern from balham to clapham junction, then sw trains in the general direction of berkshire

bit on southern was 22 minutes late so i missed connection at clapham junction, the next train from clapham junction was 28 minutes late here (hence 58 minutes later than i would have been home if southern bit had been on time.)

southern pay out if you're over 30 minutes late, swt if you're over 60 minutes late.

my arrival was not late enough to claim off swt, but can i claim from southern for what was a cumulative cock-up?  or will they tell me to sod off since their bit was only 22 minutes late?

to be fair to both companies, neither the signal failure somewhere on southern, or the broke down freight train near staines, was directly their fault, but presume they then claim from network rail / freight operator.


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 1, 2015)

Claim against Southern as "root cause" of delay - making it clear the cumulative delay. They should consider it sympathetically. Helps to be polite. 

The train operators claim off Network Rail in any case for such issues (Schedule 8 of the Track Access agreement if you like law and contracts) .....Good luck.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 1, 2015)

Throbbing Angel said:


> Delays at Piccadilly I heard, too.


Seems so - I was working at home today and I heard various announcements as I walked through the station earlier to pick up some shopping. Due to OHL problems outside the station it seems. The concourse was heaving - and boiling - felt sorry for the poor sods waiting for trains home.


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 1, 2015)

Carnage all over - I will read the National log with interest in the morning ....(Manchester was a 323 set which lost a pantograph at Ardwick) ....


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 1, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Claim against Southern as "root cause" of delay - making it clear the cumulative delay. They should consider it sympathetically. Helps to be polite.
> 
> The train operators claim off Network Rail in any case for such issues (Schedule 8 of the Track Access agreement if you like law and contracts) .....Good luck.



thanks

i'll give it a go.

haven't got anything out of them for the major cock-up between clapham junction and wandsworth common a few weeks back yet, though...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 1, 2015)

davescr said:


> Carnage all over - I will read the National log with interest in the morning ....(Manchester was a 323 set which lost a pantograph at Ardwick) ....


Taking down the wires at Ardwick would do for the station.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 10, 2015)

Monumental balls up this evening - all 'Windsor' lines closed due to signal failure near Clapham Junction.

I am pissed off with this whole commuting thing.


----------



## Roadkill (Jul 12, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Risk assesment - a derailment at 40 will generally keep the train upright .....having seen a track buckle right in front of a train I was in the cab off (South Tottenham for the record) - quite unnerving. We stopped easily enough only doing 20mph with a full and hard brake application - it was 6pm on a very hot evening  and your correspondant was keeping the service going. We inched over it at 4 mph and carried onto Barking - the PW coaxed it back in with crowbars and several buckets of cold water. It just literally "popped" in front of us......



I see the RAIB are suggesting that hot weather and buckled track are probably responsible for the freight-train derailment in Lincolnshire a couple of weeks back.







Yup, someone's done a pretty thorough job of that.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 12, 2015)

Roadkill said:


> I see the RAIB are suggesting that hot weather and buckled track are probably responsible for the freight-train derailment in Lincolnshire a couple of weeks back.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I think the line might be blocked.


----------



## Roadkill (Jul 12, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I think the line might be blocked.


----------



## tommers (Jul 12, 2015)

Thursday -  tube strike 
Friday -  first great Western strike
Saturday - bus replacement service due to planned engineering works. 

Great stuff.


----------



## marty21 (Jul 12, 2015)

Stood all the way from Paddington to Bath Friday evening , never seen a train so rammed . All due to cancellations as a result of the strike . Really regretted not driving down .


----------



## marty21 (Jul 13, 2015)

and the way back was not without problems, the 4pm train was cancelled so I had to make a quick transport decision - should I get the 4.20 to Waterloo, or wait for the 5pm to Paddington which would be mega rammed. The Waterloo train takes nearly 3 hours, the Paddington train 90 minutes, with a 40 minute start the arrival in London time wasn't that different.

I plumped for Waterloo and got a seat


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 13, 2015)

marty21 said:


> and the way back was not without problems, the 4pm train was cancelled so I had to make a quick transport decision - should I get the 4.20 to Waterloo, or wait for the 5pm to Paddington which would be mega rammed. The Waterloo train takes nearly 3 hours, the Paddington train 90 minutes, with a 40 minute start the arrival in London time wasn't that different.
> 
> I plumped for Waterloo and got a seat




And a very pleasant ride no doubt via the Salisbury route - one I always recomend for UK newbies....


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Jul 13, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> And a very pleasant ride no doubt via the Salisbury route - one I always recomend for UK newbies....



Use to love me journeys to Grateley every week to school and home.

Someone with a pram (with no child in) blocked a tube door which I tried getting into which was a regularly busy train. Couldn't get on. The next 7 trains were so busy I couldn't fit on. Wasn't too annoyed but what can you do really.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 13, 2015)

Amazingly, the lateness figure has dropped to a mere 81%.


----------



## marty21 (Jul 14, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> And a very pleasant ride no doubt via the Salisbury route - one I always recomend for UK newbies....


It was very pleasant


----------



## mango5 (Jul 15, 2015)

Been sitting for more than an hour at Southampton Airport station as a series of trains are cancelled at short notice. Bet whatever comes will be short on coaches and rammed too


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 15, 2015)

mango5 said:


> Been sitting for more than an hour at Southampton Airport station as a series of trains are cancelled at short notice. Bet whatever comes will be short on coaches and rammed too


Have they done the usual trick of telling you nowt, so you have no idea what is actually going on?


----------



## tommers (Jul 15, 2015)

tommers said:


> Thursday -  tube strike
> Friday -  first great Western strike
> Saturday - bus replacement service due to planned engineering works.
> 
> Great stuff.


And Monday a train broke down in West Norwood and they stopped all the trains from Balham.  So I ended up walking from Streatham Common (which is fucking misnamed) to crown point. 

4 out of 4.

Today wasn't bad though,  the trains were only 10 minutes late.   And packed.


----------



## mango5 (Jul 15, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Have they done the usual trick of telling you nowt, so you have no idea what is actually going on?


Yes the staff mysteriously evaporated. Then I saw one and was very polite so he suggested I get on a local train which is now crawling towards Winchester with lots of breaks for a little rest. "Stay on til Basingstoke when we might know more" says the guard. tbf this is only the second time I've had this in two years of quite smooth commuting but I probably won't get home til midnight rather than 9ish.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 15, 2015)

mango5 said:


> Yes the staff mysteriously evaporated. Then I saw one and was very polite so he suggested I get on a local train which is now crawling towards Winchester with lots of breaks for a little rest. "Stay on til Basingstoke when we might know more" says the guard. tbf this is only the second time I've had this in two years of quite smooth commuting but I probably won't get home til midnight rather than 9ish.


It's infuriating isn't it. I hope you get home soon.


----------



## golightly (Jul 15, 2015)

mango5 said:


> Yes the staff mysteriously evaporated. Then I saw one and was very polite so he suggested I get on a local train which is now crawling towards Winchester with lots of breaks for a little rest. "Stay on til Basingstoke when we might know more" says the guard. tbf this is only the second time I've had this in two years of quite smooth commuting but I probably won't get home til midnight rather than 9ish.


----------



## kabbes (Jul 21, 2015)

Death at Raynes Park.  Any train going anywhere near Raynes Park utterly fucked.  Great start to the day.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 21, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Death at Raynes Park.  Any train going anywhere near Raynes Park utterly fucked.  Great start to the day.



Crowd control at stations between Basingstoke & Woking due to overcrowding.

Trains gonna be fucked all day.

Working at home today 

/smugfuck.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 30, 2015)

Bloke on the phone to what I guess is his wife:

'was the car park absolutely rammed this morning?'
'no'
'then why have you rammed the car into a concrete post?'
'I haven't'
'you must have done - it's buried in a concrete post'
'I can't have done'
'it's less than 24 hours since you've had my car - I'm never going to let you drive it again.'

And so on - and after protracted toing and froing he ended the call with 'have a lovely day'. It's quite amusing to listen to.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 4, 2015)

Another weird experience. A random middle aged bloke with headphones in shouting and 'singing' at the top of his voice.   Totally oblivious to his surroundings, and didn't seem to be doing it in English - although he interspersed the word 'sexy' into his performance. I think I've seen him before doing this, but recorded it out of curiosity (as did a few others it seems). Very odd.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 4, 2015)

Now been held at Stoke of all places, waiting for the police because 'an incident' has happened on the train. Not telling us what though...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 4, 2015)

Rozzers have just run down the platform. Hauled some bloke off in cuffs. Wonder what he's been up to.


----------



## davesgcr (Aug 4, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Another weird experience. A random middle aged bloke with headphones in shouting and 'singing' at the top of his voice.   Totally oblivious to his surroundings, and didn't seem to be doing it in English - although he interspersed the word 'sexy' into his performance. I think I've seen him before doing this, but recorded it out of curiosity (as did a few others it seems). Very odd.


As a random (soon to be retired middle aged bloke) - I thought I had the 1st class to myself on a Thameslink train one very early morning - so knocked the IPOD on and was happily singing along to the Best of Bowie  - when this head popped up around Elstree - and  said nicely "I can see you are enjoying yourself" ....took the cue and apologised.

Loads of incidents at moment - both on trains and off - must be the weather ......trespass , incidents , cords pulled randomly.....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 4, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> As a random (soon to be retired middle aged bloke) - I thought I had the 1st class to myself on a Thameslink train one very early morning - so knocked the IPOD on and was happily singing along to the Best of Bowie  - when this head popped up around Elstree - and  said nicely "I can see you are enjoying yourself" ....took the cue and apologised.
> 
> Loads of incidents at moment - both on trains and off - must be the weather ......trespass , incidents , cords pulled randomly.....



I would never, under any circumstances, sing in public and certainly not on a train.  That would constitute torture for the poor buggers trapped in there with me...


----------



## davesgcr (Aug 4, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I would never, under any circumstances, sing in public and certainly not on a train.  That would constitute torture for the poor buggers trapped in there with me...



But I thought - I had the coach section to myself. Do not mind a bit of "enjoyment" compared to a**holes on mobile phones , or obsese individuals eating with open mouths , breathing heavily and grunting.

After 25+ years commuting on Thameslink , my only transgression. (and never had an issue with anyone else really "enjoying" themselves - drunk or sober...in fact , quite enjoyed the social commentary which is what train travel - even commuting is all about)


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 14, 2015)

Genuine question - why do train companies still operate slam door trains?  They're so confusing to open.   

Maybe davesgcr will have some background knowledge on this strange anachronism.  It's like a timewarp back to a Pathé news reel travelling on one of them - I half expect a clipped BBC English voiceover as I alight.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Genuine question - why do train companies still operate slam door trains?  They're so confusing to open.



tbh, i don't find them confusing (although the new fangled central locking adds a further dimension of complication in that you can't see the light come on if you're already leaning out the door to open it - you have to listen for the click...)

although suppose people who didn't grow up with them / don't have any in their part of the world would find them unusual when they do encounter them.

but arguably, the variety of automated train doors - some that bleep / have buttons that light up when the doors are released, some that will close automatically after x time but will re-open if you press the button (assuming the doors haven't been locked), some that will only close when the driver / guard closes them so they won't, and so on - is similarly confusing if you're not used to whatever runs locally (or on the line here where there are two types of train with doors that behave in different ways - has as much potential to confuse.

in answer to the basic question - boils down to cost of either replacing or doing what I suspect would be a substantial rebuild of 1970s designed / built kit.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 14, 2015)

Some UK railways went in for powered sliding doors (the London Underground did them first - mainly so that a train could be run with a driver and guard without the need for 'gate-men' between each pair of carriages)

These units - 







were designed in the late 30s for the LNER's suburban lines out of Liverpool Street but not built until after the war.  

BR didn't adopt the idea until the mid 70s for suburban units.


----------



## davesgcr (Aug 14, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Genuine question - why do train companies still operate slam door trains?  They're so confusing to open.
> 
> Maybe davesgcr will have some background knowledge on this strange anachronism.  It's like a timewarp back to a Pathé news reel travelling on one of them - I half expect a clipped BBC English voiceover as I alight.



Simple reason that there is nothing else around to replace them immediately , but they will be gone in around 5 years bar the ex GW HST sets having a new life in Scotland. The one bad mistake BR did on the HST's was perpetuating the daft slam doors - drop window , lean out at an angle of 45 degrees , lean down to open door via handle. Back in the days orf your - almost everyone knew how to handle a slam door - now it is really quite exceptional and people get phased with this quaint railway custom. Similar coaches built for Ireland had customer friendly "plug doors" -(with buttons) - I blame the Derby design crews who were excellent boffins but not really train users ..


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 14, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Simple reason that there is nothing else around to replace them immediately , but they will be gone in around 5 years bar the ex GW HST sets having a new life in Scotland. The one bad mistake BR did on the HST's was perpetuating the daft slam doors - drop window , lean out at an angle of 45 degrees , lean down to open door via handle. Back in the days orf your - almost everyone knew how to handle a slam door - now it is really quite exceptional and people get phased with this quaint railway custom. Similar coaches built for Ireland had customer friendly "plug doors" -(with buttons) - I blame the Derby design crews who were excellent boffins but not really train users ..



Indeed - I think 'no fucking way am I sticking my head out  of a moving train!' 

Thanks to your and Puddy_Tat's response above - both useful.   

But it is a weird mish mash when on the WCML you have lovely _modern_ electric buttons, but in the Midlands you have this anachronistic weirdness of manual handles.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 14, 2015)

I assume the poor Midlands have not discovered electric buttons.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 15, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Indeed - I think 'no fucking way am I sticking my head out of a moving train!'



wuss

before this namby pamby central locking thing came in, you'd normally expect to get two or so people off from each door before the train came to a complete stop and you'd get tutted at if you waited until the train had stopped before you started opening the door.



on the southern region's suburban trains with a door for every row of seats, this could mean 100 passengers or more.  I'm fairly sure (although it's not been admitted, since getting off before the train stopped was officially frowned upon) that's why south west trains pretty much had to sit down and re-write their entire timetable in the early 2000s after they had gone over to sliding door trains, to allow longer 'dwell times' (the amount of time a train has in the platform at a station) at busier stations.



farmerbarleymow said:


> I assume the poor Midlands have not discovered electric buttons.



it's (broadly) wherever the mark 3 coaches / high speed train sets are still running - so that's the Great Western main line, the Midland main line, and some trains that continue to places the electric string in the sky doesn't go on East Coast.  Not sure if Cross Country still have a few.

I faintly remember the HST / Inter City 125s being very very new - they did a kind of public trial service with them, and we did a cheap day trip to Bristol on one of them - c. 1975/6

I think I've still got the badge they were dishing out somewhere...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 15, 2015)

Anyways, shitty commutes; nope. In the south of Spain, the villa is 6km down a single track road, then 2km along a dirt track (makes me feel Colin MacRae bowling along that, it even has a whoops like a BMX track), so getting to the shops takes time, other than that no hassle to report


----------



## existentialist (Aug 17, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Simple reason that there is nothing else around to replace them immediately , but they will be gone in around 5 years bar the ex GW HST sets having a new life in Scotland. The one bad mistake BR did on the HST's was perpetuating the daft slam doors - drop window , lean out at an angle of 45 degrees , lean down to open door via handle. Back in the days orf your - almost everyone knew how to handle a slam door - now it is really quite exceptional and people get phased with this quaint railway custom. Similar coaches built for Ireland had customer friendly "plug doors" -(with buttons) - I blame the Derby design crews who were excellent boffins but not really train users ..


I learned very early on that it was a Bad Move to shut one of those doors while grasping the handle (your wrist gets a violent tweak), but I imagine that, as slam door stock got rarer, less people will have known about that. 

I don't think it's a problem on HST stock, as the handle is different.


----------



## marty21 (Aug 17, 2015)

currently we have major bastard commute issues - due to work on the Victoria line - the trains from Chingford to Liverpool St are not stopping at several stations to allow the Walthamstow Victoria line commuters to fill the train up - so we get no trains before 9.30 at Clapton - this will be going on until the end of August. In the evening, the trains are super packed so I'm avoiding them as well - using buses to Manor House instead and tubing it from there.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 17, 2015)

Stupid broken down bloody trains.


----------



## marty21 (Aug 17, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Stupid broken down bloody trains.


 you should have caught one that works


----------



## Dogsauce (Aug 17, 2015)

In days of yore, broken down train = potential drag by interesting traction, something to get excited about.  Today's fragmented railway means they're unlikely to grab a nearby freight loco to stick on the front.


----------



## davesgcr (Aug 17, 2015)

Dogsauce said:


> In days of yore, broken down train = potential drag by interesting traction, something to get excited about.  Today's fragmented railway means they're unlikely to grab a nearby freight loco to stick on the front.




Said freight engine would not (a) couple (b) get brakes and minor things like that working on today' "oh so complex"  electric  and diesel stock.

When I were a lad we had the straight air brake in most places .......not so now !


----------



## Dan U (Aug 17, 2015)

I commuted from dorking to Northampton without a hitch today. 

I have to go to new Street tomorrow from Northampton and back

And then Northampton - Milton Keynes - Manchester piccadilly -  Euston - dorking on weds and Thurs so I doubt I will emerge unscathed this week.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 17, 2015)

marty21 said:


> you should have caught one that works



It was one broken in the godforsaken south somewhere that fucked it up for everyone else.  Always the bloody south making things go wrong.


----------



## Dan U (Aug 18, 2015)

On a train from Northampton to Birmingham New Street. 

It just sat at Coventry for ages for some kind of timetabled break. Pretty irritating.


----------



## Dan U (Aug 20, 2015)

So Dorking to Northampton, Northampton to New Street and back, Northampton to Manchester piccadilly via Milton Keynes and Manchester piccadilly back to Redhill went without a hitch this week 

Until some twat went on the line at redhill just now and I've been ditched off two trains and currently given up at Purley and waiting for the Mrs to get me. 

Ffs so near yet so far


----------



## davesgcr (Aug 20, 2015)

Dan U said:


> So Dorking to Northampton, Northampton to New Street and back, Northampton to Manchester piccadilly via Milton Keynes and Manchester piccadilly back to Redhill went without a hitch this week
> 
> Until some twat went on the line at redhill just now and I've been ditched off two trains and currently given up at Purley and waiting for the Mrs to get me.
> 
> Ffs so near yet so far



4 Nutters in 4 places went walkabout south of Clapham today , causing untold grief - what the hell is wrong with people....wrong moon cycle or what? .

Pissed idiot at Fleet at 0930 this am stuffed everything south of Woking.for hours.....


----------



## Dan U (Aug 20, 2015)

According to the announcement I heard leaving Purley it was 2 kids..  Dangerous playground


----------



## 19sixtysix (Aug 20, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> Some UK railways went in for powered sliding doors (the London Underground did them first - mainly so that a train could be run with a driver and guard without the need for 'gate-men' between each pair of carriages)
> 
> These units -
> 
> ...



BR did sliding doors on the Blue trains in Glasgow in 1960. Heated seats and a glass partition so you could see out front. The perfect train.


----------



## davesgcr (Aug 21, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> 4 Nutters in 4 places went walkabout south of Clapham today , causing untold grief - what the hell is wrong with people....wrong moon cycle or what? .
> 
> Pissed idiot at Fleet at 0930 this am stuffed everything south of Woking.for hours.....



He climbed up a signal gantry - fell off and incurred head injuries.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 25, 2015)

this evening - 24 minutes late, defective train at Putney.

_"Reginald Iolanthe Perrin, do you take British Rail Southern Region as your Awful Dreaded Life?"_


----------



## Artaxerxes (Aug 25, 2015)

Working 9-5:30 next few weeks, going to see if I can work 8-4:30 instead as every time I get Central line at that time its sweaty, crowded, and delayed.

Not that I mind the delays going to work much mind, I'm in no rush to actually get to bloody work.


----------



## Roadkill (Aug 27, 2015)

I'm on a Cross-Country train, having paid £25 for the privilege of sitting on my case in the vestibule. Whoever designed these stupid Voyagers ought to be banned from traveling on anything else for the rest of his or her life. They're totally unfit for purpose.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 27, 2015)

Roadkill said:


> I'm on a Cross-Country train, having paid £25 for the privilege of sitting on my case in the vestibule. Whoever designed these stupid Voyagers ought to be banned from traveling on anything else for the rest of his or her life. They're totally unfit for purpose.


They're pieces of shit. You can always vent your spleen at them on Twitter @crosscountrytrn


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 27, 2015)

My commute this week...


----------



## existentialist (Aug 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> My commute this week...


Smug bastard. I have to go down _*stairs *_and everything.


----------



## Dogsauce (Aug 28, 2015)

I've had a six metre commute this morning. I could have jumped on the bike for two miles of weaving down to Euston but that'd have given me 20 minutes less time to get this report finished that was needed for 11.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> My commute this week...





existentialist said:


> Smug bastard. I have to go down _*stairs *_and everything.





Dogsauce said:


> I've had a six metre commute this morning. I could have jumped on the bike for two miles of weaving down to Euston but that'd have given me 20 minutes less time to get this report finished that was needed for 11.


----------



## machine cat (Sep 2, 2015)

Just starting the 3.5 hour journey to Birmingham. What can go wrong?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 2, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Just starting the 3.5 hour journey to Birmingham. What can go wrong?



Are you there yet?


----------



## machine cat (Sep 2, 2015)

Almost!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 2, 2015)

machine cat said:


> Almost!



I was wondering whether the work at Stafford over the weekend would cause problems this week.  Hopefully once they complete the new line it will improve the run between Manchester and Birmingham.


----------



## machine cat (Sep 2, 2015)

It was a smooth journey down this morning


----------



## marty21 (Sep 2, 2015)

good news - trains are now stopping at Clapton Station in the morning before 9.30  I assume this means that the Victora line is now super efficient


----------



## kabbes (Sep 2, 2015)

No trains running for me to Waterloo this morning.  Total nightmare -- took even more hours than usual.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 2, 2015)

Waterloo stopped half my office getting in this morning.

I've just got back after a 2 hour standing fest on the Central line, I still think my dodge of "nip to Liverpool St, change at Stratford" is sensible as it means I'm not jammed into an armpit for a slightly shorter ride... but its a close run thing, those extra 30 minutes would have been nice.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 3, 2015)

First commute in a month yesterday, to Waterloo 

A mere one hour forty minutes for a 45 minute journey


----------



## marty21 (Sep 3, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> First commute in a month yesterday, to Waterloo
> 
> A mere one hour forty minutes for a 45 minute journey


You were so smug when you were #wfh boy


----------



## machine cat (Sep 3, 2015)

machine cat said:


> It was a smooth journey down this morning



The journey back wasn't 

Train delayed in Solihull meant I missed the one at New Street. Had to hang about for an hour (btw does anyone know a decent pub close by in case this happens again? I was just wandering around for ages). Decided stupidly to get off in Wakefield rather than Leeds and missed the train to Huddersfield by seconds. An hour later finally got to Huddersfield and watched three buses to mine drive past as I was trying to cross the road


----------



## davesgcr (Sep 3, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> First commute in a month yesterday, to Waterloo
> 
> A mere one hour forty minutes for a 45 minute journey



They lost the whole signalling at 0600 between Earlsfield and Wimbledon Park - which apart from shutting down 4 tracks , stopped a load of trains coming out of the depot - power surge which blew the circuits / fuses.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 3, 2015)

marty21 said:


> You were so smug when you were #wfh boy



WFHing today, but gotta slog in to town tomorrow. Let's see in what ways SWT can fuck up my day come the morning...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 3, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> They lost the whole signalling at 0600 between Earlsfield and Wimbledon Park - which apart from shutting down 4 tracks , stopped a load of trains coming out of the depot - power surge which blew the circuits / fuses.




To lose one signal is etc...

TBF they emailed me at 0930 to say that I shouldn't bother taking the train to London. Which was just as I was walking out of Waterloo an hour late...


----------



## kabbes (Sep 3, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> They lost the whole signalling at 0600 between Earlsfield and Wimbledon Park - which apart from shutting down 4 tracks , stopped a load of trains coming out of the depot - power surge which blew the circuits / fuses.


If it were once in a blue moon, it would be forgivable.  As it is, it's just yet more fuck ups piled on fuck ups.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 3, 2015)

kabbes said:


> If it were once in a blue moon, it would be forgivable.  As it is, it's just yet more fuck ups piled on fuck ups.



It really does seem to be getting much worse, part of the reason I didn't renew my season ticket and sorting out home working three days a week.


----------



## davesgcr (Sep 3, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It really does seem to be getting much worse, part of the reason I didn't renew my season ticket and sorting out home working three days a week.



Had more than enough and retiring on the 26th - cant cope with another winter of Thameslink.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 3, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It really does seem to be getting much worse, part of the reason I didn't renew my season ticket and sorting out home working three days a week.


Yeah, turns out that years and years of underinvestment ends up causing infrastructure problems.  Who could have guessed it?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 3, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Yeah, turns out that years and years of underinvestment ends up causing infrastructure problems.  Who could have guessed it?



Not Bungle73


----------



## kabbes (Sep 3, 2015)

Oh you just had to.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 3, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Not Bungle73


Except that the infrastructure is handled by Network Rail, a publicly run company. Not sure why you brought me into it?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 4, 2015)

I rest my case.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 4, 2015)

machine cat said:


> The journey back wasn't
> 
> Train delayed in Solihull meant I missed the one at New Street. Had to hang about for an hour (btw does anyone know a decent pub close by in case this happens again? I was just wandering around for ages). Decided stupidly to get off in Wakefield rather than Leeds and missed the train to Huddersfield by seconds. An hour later finally got to Huddersfield and watched three buses to mine drive past as I was trying to cross the road


There is The Railway right next to the station on Hill Street. Not too bad, and you can get to it from the Hill St exit to the station (a bit faffy while the building work is going on, mind).

Edit to add link to pub:

Railway


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 4, 2015)

Just had another look machine cat, and there appear to be loads of pubs very near New Street, although I've only been in the Railway so can't say what they're like.

pubs near Birmingham New Street train station# beerintheevening.com


----------



## machine cat (Sep 4, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Just had another look machine cat, and there appear to be loads of pubs very near New Street, although I've only been in the Railway so can't say what they're like.
> 
> pubs near Birmingham New Street train station# beerintheevening.com



Brill. Thanks for that

I'm there most of next week so they will come in handy.


----------



## iona (Sep 6, 2015)

54 minute wait at Victoria for my train, now at Haywards Heath station. The rail replacement bus was meant to be here 8 minutes ago - one just turned up but the driver said he's finished and got no more hours so he fucked off and now we just have to wait while the station guy trys to organise another bus on his radio


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 6, 2015)

That's all you need iona. Hope you get home without too much further delay.


----------



## Sapphireblue (Sep 12, 2015)

machine cat the post office vaults is pretty decent, out the Hill st exit (other end to the main one), right and up the hill. it's just before the square.

the victoria is also good, again turn right up Hill st, there's a zebra crossing on the end of a side road on your left, the victoria is just about in sight on that road.

out the main exit there is the Shakespeare on lower temple st or Bacchus on Burlington arcade (basement place).


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 18, 2015)

I am at home - escaped from work early to avoid the crowds of rugger buggers going to twickenham.

I see on tweeter that they now have a broken down train at richmond


----------



## davesgcr (Sep 18, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> I am at home - escaped from work early to avoid the crowds of rugger buggers going to twickenham.
> 
> I see on tweeter that they now have a broken down train at richmond



Nightmare scenario - speaking as an ex Operations Manager who has dealt with crisis like this at Wembley ...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 18, 2015)

Not looking forward to next week - New Street opens on Sunday so doubtless there'll be loads of gawping idiots clogging the place up. 

I've noticed a general increase in the level of stupidity of people using the station of late...

A shopping centre with a transport 'offer' is what it will be viewed as now. 

I fucking loathe the use of the word 'offer' - drives me up the wall. 

machine cat - be warned...


----------



## machine cat (Sep 18, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Not looking forward to next week - New Street opens on Sunday so doubtless there'll be loads of gawping idiots clogging the place up.
> 
> I've noticed a general increase in the level of stupidity of people using the station of late...
> 
> ...



Well aware, but thanks for the reminder. Was there Monday and the All Seeing Eye was displaying that it will open on the 20th. Barriers had been installed but were not operational and people were standing there trying to put tickets through 

I will be there on Tuesday so will read Dante's Inferno on the way down to prepare myself.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 18, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Nightmare scenario - speaking as an ex Operations Manager who has dealt with crisis like this at Wembley ...



and person hit by train at twickenham after the match


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 25, 2015)

I think this bloke might have forgotten to put his shoes on before heading for work. They definitely look like slippers, and he's not got socks on.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 25, 2015)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I think this bloke might have forgotten to put his shoes on before heading for work. They definitely look like slippers, and he's not got socks on.
> 
> View attachment 77146


is he still wearing his dressing gown as well?

maybe this is part of casual friday where he works...


----------



## machine cat (Sep 30, 2015)

On the first leg to New  Street... the station has improved I have to say, but I'm sure I'll find something to moan about


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 30, 2015)

machine cat said:


> On the first leg to New  Street... the station has improved I have to say, but I'm sure I'll find something to moan about


The ticket barriers are shit so that's something - very hit and miss whether they recognise tickets. Platforms are nowhere near complete - still a building site. And it's in Birmingham. There's three things for you.


----------



## machine cat (Sep 30, 2015)

I do like it how the platform enterences are colour coded. Makes it a lot easier when trying to get out.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 30, 2015)

machine cat said:


> I do like it how the platform enterences are colour coded. Makes it a lot easier when trying to get out.


I think it's a bit of a fad - it seems a bit pointless given they are numbered anyway.   I orient myself by where the shops are, so the B platforms are on the ticket office / M & S side.


----------



## machine cat (Sep 30, 2015)

Yes, it does seem like they're designed for idiots, but this is me we're talking about


----------



## machine cat (Sep 30, 2015)

No ashtrays outside, the reflection of the sun from the roof got in my eyes and the path to Moor Street was closed


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 1, 2015)

Selfish woman coughing and sneezing on the train without covering her mouth. They should put up 'coughs and sneezes spread diseases' posters on trains to try and remind idiots like this of behaving like a normal person.


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Oct 7, 2015)

Got to Waterloo just before 8, someone threw themselves in front of a train at Surbiton. Mega delays that whole area.

Only just leaving Waterloo now. Nothing I could do really but fuck me its a nightmare. Also, the arrogance of some passengers who get very rude because their trains are delayed need to calm down. Calling a woman who works at the station "a useless cunt" doesnt make anything better.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 7, 2015)

Stuck outside Guildford for an hour now due to same fatality. Couldn't have picked a worse place to end it all as blocking the main line for SWT. Rumours of being able to travel via Epsom to Victoria sloshing around the train. Thank fuck I don't do this shit daily any more...


----------



## davesgcr (Oct 7, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> Got to Waterloo just before 8, someone threw themselves in front of a train at Surbiton. Mega delays that whole area.
> 
> Only just leaving Waterloo now. Nothing I could do really but fuck me its a nightmare. Also, the arrogance of some passengers who get very rude because their trains are delayed need to calm down. Calling a woman who works at the station "a useless cunt" doesnt make anything better.



That is technically an assault and should be treated as such. Outragous , self centred attitude. Someone died. 

All lines blocked = over 70 trains an hour affected.


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Oct 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Stuck outside Guildford for an hour now due to same fatality. Couldn't have picked a worse place to end it all as blocking the main line for SWT. Rumours of being able to travel via Epsom to Victoria sloshing around the train. Thank fuck I don't do this shit daily any more...



I dont even know why I am going in. My seminar started at 9 and finishes at 10.

I'm probably just enjoying my journey.


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Oct 7, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> That is technically an assault and should be treated as such. Outragous , self centred attitude. Someone died.
> 
> All lines blocked = over 70 trains an hour affected.



The woman herself didn't seem fazed by it but a lot of us eventually told him to jog on and take his rudeness elsewhere. I understand entirely when you just need to get somewhere stuff like this gets frustrating, but its not anyone's fault at all, and there's nothing she could (or anyone else employed under the SWT services) can do. Hopefully though the bloke gets a swift charge of verbal assault against him.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 7, 2015)

Hopefully it's not anyone rude bloke cares about under the train in Surbition.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 7, 2015)

Heading home now, 2 hours after setting off. Plus THEY'VE RUN OUT OF COFFEE!!!!!


----------



## marty21 (Oct 7, 2015)

mega problems this morning due to signal failure at Baker Street and Algate

Couldn't get on the platform on the Metropolitan/Circle/Hammersmith line - so headed for the central line and couldn't get on the platform either  of course I had to be in Kilburn by 9 for a meeting  gradually got closer to the train doors on the central line - got on at the 4th attempt got to meeting at 9.15 which wasn't too bad considering


----------



## machine cat (Oct 7, 2015)

Fucking fucking fucking New Street 

Nothing has gone wrong, I'm just here


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 7, 2015)

Heh, at least not everyone in the world is a cunt, tweets regarding this morning's fatality at Surbition...


----------



## 5t3IIa (Oct 7, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Heh, at least not everyone in the world is a cunt, tweets regarding this morning's fatality at Surbition...
> 
> View attachment 77773



B*bs' journey was 4 hours today. _She _made it in


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 7, 2015)

5t3IIa said:


> B*bs' journey was 4 hours today. _She _made it in




_She's_ a stupid nerk.


----------



## existentialist (Oct 8, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> The woman herself didn't seem fazed by it but a lot of us eventually told him to jog on and take his rudeness elsewhere. I understand entirely when you just need to get somewhere stuff like this gets frustrating, but its not anyone's fault at all, and there's nothing she could (or anyone else employed under the SWT services) can do. Hopefully though the bloke gets a swift charge of verbal assault against him.


It would do people good to get a sense of priority. Having spent 15 years doing the Surbiton-to-London commute, it always amazes me how out of proportion people got things. Surbiton is a bit of a hot spot for one-unders, and it's incredible how so many people seem to feel that their sales group meeting at 9.30 is somehow so important that everyone else should have to listen to their ranting and grumbling about missing it.

It's not just suicides, either - I was a couple of trains back from the Clapham disaster (I think we were stuck on that one for over 3 hours), and - even when it started to emerge what had happened - there were still people going "...but I've got a product review plenary seminar at 11, and they've got the special biscuits ordered, and EVERYTHING!" (slightly misquoted for comic effect). Goodness knows what they'd have been like if they'd been on one of the trains that actually crashed. "Oh no, I've got STAINS on my tie now", or something, I expect.


----------



## 19sixtysix (Oct 8, 2015)

Herne Hill temporary traffic lights at Croxted road


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Oct 8, 2015)

existentialist said:


> It would do people good to get a sense of priority. Having spent 15 years doing the Surbiton-to-London commute, it always amazes me how out of proportion people got things. Surbiton is a bit of a hot spot for one-unders, and it's incredible how so many people seem to feel that their sales group meeting at 9.30 is somehow so important that everyone else should have to listen to their ranting and grumbling about missing it.
> 
> It's not just suicides, either - I was a couple of trains back from the Clapham disaster (I think we were stuck on that one for over 3 hours), and - even when it started to emerge what had happened - there were still people going "...but I've got a product review plenary seminar at 11, and they've got the special biscuits ordered, and EVERYTHING!" (slightly misquoted for comic effect). Goodness knows what they'd have been like if they'd been on one of the trains that actually crashed. "Oh no, I've got STAINS on my tie now", or something, I expect.



Awful journeys seem to be my forte really, for a year my girlfriend (long distance before she moved to London) lived in Lydney, about a half hour from Gloucester and my coach journeys just seemed to always fuck up one way or another. Whether it was delayed or just a god awful incident. I use to get slightly annoyed but now I'm just accustom to it so I shrug it off. I get its frustrating at times but its not like anyone can do anything entirely, especially with suicide situations or someone throwing themselves in front of a train.

One journey I remember well was when i was coming back to London and the coach magically broke down in the middle of the M4. Our replacement coach was eventually delayed because of the massive traffic jam our coach caused by stopping in the middle and left lane. Scheduled time to get home was around 7, didn't get there until half 10-11ish.

This thread could practically be a title for my autobiography if I ever chose to sit down and write one.


----------



## iona (Oct 17, 2015)

Another rail replacement that turned out not to exist this morning. 

One turned up tonight but it's just taken the driver 20 minutes to turn around after he got stuck in the car park at Hurst Green...


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Oct 21, 2015)

Not as much a journey problem, but a woman on the journey proceeded to ask me "are you not gonna offer me your seat?" on the Jubilee Line at London Bridge. She didnt tick the boxes of being pregnant, elderly, or being with a young child, so I said not really, where are you getting off? To which she replied "Waterloo, but that's beside the point" and then muttered something under her breath.

Sorry I couldn't give you that spoilt brat lifestyle you seem to crave from everyone else? I think? Wasn't too sure how to take it exactly


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 21, 2015)

So the 0745 is cancelled as the train is running late, so we all have to watch it waft through the station empty at...0745 

Never mind, the next train will now have twice the number of passengers in it, so we're delighted that it's now broken down outside Surbiton.

Still at just £46 for my ticket today, what right do I have to whinge?


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Oct 21, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> So the 0745 is cancelled as the train is running late, so we all have to watch it waft through the station empty at...0745
> 
> Never mind, the next train will now have twice the number of passengers in it, so we're delighted that it's now broken down outside Surbiton.
> 
> Still at just £46 for my ticket today, what right do I have to whinge?



Is that heading into London or out of it? Line seemed fine for me


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 21, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> Is that heading into London or out of it? Line seemed fine for me



In to London on the Portsmouth line. No specific problem, just cancelling a train cos it is late so they improve their on time figures then the next train breaking down. Still they have apologised so that's OK.


----------



## existentialist (Oct 21, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> Not as much a journey problem, but a woman on the journey proceeded to ask me "are you not gonna offer me your seat?" on the Jubilee Line at London Bridge. She didnt tick the boxes of being pregnant, elderly, or being with a young child, so I said not really, where are you getting off? To which she replied "Waterloo, but that's beside the point" and then muttered something under her breath.
> 
> Sorry I couldn't give you that spoilt brat lifestyle you seem to crave from everyone else? I think? Wasn't too sure how to take it exactly


If there's one thing that would pretty much guarantee me NOT offering my seat to a fit'n'healthy person out of courtesy, it would be any sense that it was expected or demanded of me.


----------



## Santino (Oct 23, 2015)

Journeys between Hereford and Worcester Foregate Street are being delayed by up to 20 minutes.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 23, 2015)

Santino said:


> Journeys between Hereford and Worcester Foregate Street are being delayed by up to 20 minutes.




Fuck sakes, that's the third time this year


----------



## Santino (Oct 27, 2015)

Journeys between Reading and Swindon are being delayed by up to 30 minutes.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Oct 28, 2015)

Central line is fucked, I've been travelling for 2 hours plus at this point. Had to get overground to barking from leytonstone then onto train into city.


----------



## existentialist (Oct 28, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Fuck sakes, that's the third time this year


One under again?


----------



## kabbes (Oct 29, 2015)

Yet again they have cancelled one train and it's my one.  Because why have the option of two trains an hour when you can have one?


----------



## tommers (Oct 30, 2015)

I was on a train yesterday when the driver stopped it and said "sorry about this but there isn't any electricity any more so we can't go anywhere.  You'll have to get a bus".

That was a new one.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 30, 2015)

tommers said:


> I was on a train yesterday when the driver stopped it and said "sorry about this but there isn't any electricity any more so we can't go anywhere.  You'll have to get a bus".
> 
> That was a new one.


 
bloody H&S gone mad.  he could have got the passengers out to push


----------



## Artaxerxes (Oct 30, 2015)

tommers said:


> I was on a train yesterday when the driver stopped it and said "sorry about this but there isn't any electricity any more so we can't go anywhere.  You'll have to get a bus".
> 
> That was a new one.



Wat. 


Good news is I spoke to a really nice bloke in TFL customer service, gave me a ten quid refund for Weds shenanigans


----------



## tommers (Nov 10, 2015)

Been trying to get on a fucking train for a fucking hour at Balham.  Cancelled the first one,  second one arrived 30 minutes late and packed,  third one has simply disappeared and the fourth one is currently fifteen minutes late. 

Fucking cunts.


----------



## tommers (Nov 10, 2015)

Poor track conditions. 

Cos it's raini...
Oh no snowi... 
Oh maybe it's foggy
Hmmm,  must be leaves.


----------



## Bungle73 (Nov 10, 2015)

> Various issues on the Southern network have caused disruption to services on Southern and Thameslink routes.
> 
> This morning an engineering train broke down in the East Grinstead area and a passenger train broke down at Tattenham Corner, leading to these lines becoming blocked for a short period. This was followed by an operational incident at Norwood Junction, a passenger taken ill at London Victoria and this afternoon we had a train fault which briefly blocked lines between Three Bridges and Haywards Heath.
> 
> ...





tommers said:


> Poor track conditions.
> 
> Cos it's raini...
> Oh no snowi...
> ...


Leaf mulch is a serious problem for the rail industry, and not the big joke people seem to think it is.


----------



## Fez909 (Nov 10, 2015)

Bus driver wouldn't let me on. Too full. Next one was cancelled. Waiting 12 mins for next.

It's only a 40 minute walk and I've been at the bus stop for longer than that


----------



## tommers (Nov 10, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Leaf mulch is a serious problem for the rail industry, and not the big joke people seem to think it is.


Is that what the "poor rail conditions" is?


----------



## existentialist (Nov 10, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Leaf mulch is a serious problem for the rail industry, and not the big joke people seem to think it is.


I can't believe you'd _ever_ think of anything as a big joke, Bungle73


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 10, 2015)

tommers said:


> Is that what the "poor rail conditions" is?


 
generally, i think so.

I believe they say this rather than 'leaves on the line' because that pisses people off.

although I can't help thinking that the general public will hear 'poor rail conditions' and think it means 'the rails are in poor condition - lack of maintenance' - not sure it's constructive.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 11, 2015)

Bungle73 said:


> Leaf mulch is a serious problem for the rail industry, and not the big joke people seem to think it is.


If only there was some way of predicting _when_ the leaves might fall.


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Nov 11, 2015)

Not exactly a public transport rant but a good old bloke has just gone mad at me for crossing a zebra crossing saying "he has priority of the road, stupid cunt."

Its not like he didn't see me, hell he wasn't even moving at the time. Bit rude.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Nov 11, 2015)

More details? Was he in a car, were you on foot? 

Nothing more annoying than some fucker driving over a zebra crossing as you get to it, happens way to often near mine.


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Nov 11, 2015)

I was on foot, he was in the car. Went off at me like I was holding him up and what not, even though there was traffic and he had no chance of going anywhere.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Nov 11, 2015)

Yep, he's a fucking twat alright, you have priority as soon as you start to cross.


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## Puddy_Tat (Nov 11, 2015)

my local station seems to have acquired a resident fox


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## Teaboy (Nov 12, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> Yep, he's a fucking twat alright, you have priority as soon as you start to cross.



Even before you start to cross.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 12, 2015)

Not exactly a _bastard _bastard but the Northern line is absolutely steaming hot this week, and there are people in wool coats and scarves!! It makes me feel like I'm a really unusual sweat-monkey, but honestly I am not


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 12, 2015)

Puddy_Tat said:


> my local station seems to have acquired a resident fox



They were working from home today

]


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## tommers (Nov 12, 2015)

Fuck them..  Little cunts.

What's going on with the one on the right?


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## kabbes (Nov 13, 2015)

It always appeared that every job I could ever have was within the square mile around Lloyd's, so I had resigned myself to 3 hour round-trip commutes until retirement.  But an intriguing possibility to work on the south coast a 45 minute drive away has arisen.  Halving my commute and not having to cram into shitty SouthWestern and shitty Waterloo and City trains certainly has an appeal.


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## tommers (Nov 13, 2015)

kabbes said:


> It always appeared that every job I could ever have was within the square mile around Lloyd's, so I had resigned myself to 3 hour round-trip commutes until retirement.  But an intriguing possibility to work on the south coast a 45 minute drive away has arisen.  Halving my commute and not having to cram into shitty SouthWestern and shitty Waterloo and City trains certainly has an appeal.


Do it. Quality of life trumps pretty much everything. (says the man sat on a packed commuter train feeling sick).


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## kabbes (Nov 13, 2015)

tommers said:


> Do it. Quality of life trumps pretty much everything. (says the man sat on a packed commuter train feeling sick).


It pays more and is a step up too, which makes it look like a no-brainer.  There are other factors, though, as there always are.

I also have to get it first...


----------



## tommers (Nov 13, 2015)

kabbes said:


> It pays more and is a step up too, which makes it look like a no-brainer.  There are other factors, though, as there always are.
> 
> I also have to get it first...


You'll be fine.  I believe in you.


----------



## marty21 (Nov 13, 2015)

tommers said:


> You'll be fine.  I believe in you.


Jesuiskabbes


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 13, 2015)

And sea swimming at lunchtime and sticks of rock for breakfast every day


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## Dan U (Nov 13, 2015)

kabbes said:


> It pays more and is a step up too, which makes it look like a no-brainer.  There are other factors, though, as there always are.
> 
> I also have to get it first...


I'd seriously consider applying. It's not a bad drive (I think I know where it is, someone I know is at the old Friends Provident site in your game and that is an option for her when it shuts down) 

I regularly drive for work these days and tbh I'd take 45 mins each way in the car listening to the radio over the journey to the city from Dorking every day. 

Done that for years and quite happy I don't do it now, although I definitely miss being in London.


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## marty21 (Nov 13, 2015)

I used to drive to work in London , til about 2 years ago , worked on a housing estate so there was plenty of parking. Quite enjoyed it really , even the sitting in traffic bit  but now  at HQ there is limited parking


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 13, 2015)

marty21 said:


> I used to drive to work in London , til about 2 years ago , worked on a housing estate so there was plenty of parking. Quite enjoyed it really , even the sitting in traffic bit  but now  at HQ there is limited parking




Invest in a cone and protect your spot.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 18, 2015)

.


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## 5t3IIa (Nov 18, 2015)

Super awks moment on tube. A scouse (?) woman said something to me which I missed, even after her repeating it...she says nvm so we go back to fiddling with our phones. Slowly dawns on me she's offering to kick someone out if their seat for me! I must look like *death*  Of course I spend 4 stops debating whether to apologise, thank and explain I'm just hungover  It's her fault for talking to me! What was she thinking? Mental.


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## Puddy_Tat (Nov 18, 2015)

this morning - 11 minutes late, track circuit problems in the twickenham area

this evening - 25 minutes late, congestion following earlier delays in the richmond area (think that means a general clusterfuck)

blargh


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## kabbes (Nov 19, 2015)

kabbes said:


> It pays more and is a step up too, which makes it look like a no-brainer.  There are other factors, though, as there always are.
> 
> I also have to get it first...


Got through the first interview.  Intensive lunchtime of being interviewed by both the FD and MD coming next Tuesday.  Wish me luck...


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## magneze (Nov 19, 2015)

My current commute from Balham to Richmond via Clapham and back is the most miserable I've ever had. Daily hell.


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## magneze (Nov 19, 2015)

Oh good. This train is now Waterloo only. Fucking fucking fuckers.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 19, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Got through the first interview.  Intensive lunchtime of being interviewed by both the FD and MD coming next Tuesday.  Wish me luck...



Bring them in a stick of rock each on Tuesday, you'll be a shoe in


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## Dan U (Nov 24, 2015)

good luck today kabbes

saw this today, thought of this thread

*Anglia trains cancelled because of wheel damage caused to 'too light trains'*
Anglia trains cancelled because of wheel damage caused to 'too light trains' - BBC News

our trains are too light is a new one


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## kabbes (Nov 26, 2015)

One of those mornings that really reminds me why I don't want to take trains any more.  30 seconds later leaving the house than I feel comfortable with escalated by getting stuck behind someone doing 20-30mph down the country lanes, led to *just* missing various traffic lights led to missing the train by about 30 seconds. So now my 30 seconds late has turned into 30 minutes late.  Fuck.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 27, 2015)

kabbes said:


> One of those mornings that really reminds me why I don't want to take trains any more.  30 seconds later leaving the house than I feel comfortable with escalated by getting stuck behind someone doing 20-30mph down the country lanes, led to *just* missing various traffic lights led to missing the train by about 30 seconds. So now my 30 seconds late has turned into 30 minutes late.  Fuck.




heh, seems you do that thing too; a poodler in front, 28-30mph, never 31, oh fucking no. Then they get to the green light and are actually slowing down ffs, and bosh, the cunts go red, ARSEHOLE. Then a fucking L plate HGV comes through the lights and we have to now follow that as it crawls along the narrow streets, AND IT'S ALL YOUR  FAULT YOU FUCKING SLOW WANKER IN YOUR PISSING HONDA PIECE OF SHIT 


Other than that I'm a very calm driver...


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## kabbes (Nov 27, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Got through the first interview.  Intensive lunchtime of being interviewed by both the FD and MD coming next Tuesday.  Wish me luck...


They have made me an offer!

I think I'm going to take it, but it's never easy to leave a job behind, and particularly not one where you actually get on well with and respect your colleagues.  That's a lot to give up.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 27, 2015)

No more waiting on a cold, wet platform, cramming on to the drain...just sat comfy in the warm, radio on and picking yer nose


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## Me76 (Nov 27, 2015)

I am only a little London to London commute but last week out of ten trains only two were not cancelled / late.  This week out of ten only one left on time. 

Only minutes each time.  But really, why not just change the timetable if you are that consistently out


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## tommers (Nov 28, 2015)

I'm getting towards critical mass.  I hate everybody on all of the trains I have to get.   Whether it's because they get up too soon, or because they are looking at their stupid phone as we all shuffle towards the checkpoints - heads down,  desperate to avoid actually touching each other or recognising each other's existence. 

This time of year is always the worst. Once the clocks go forwards I can start breaking it up with some cycling again. At the moment it's just a long dark hell.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 28, 2015)

Buy a gun, use it liberally. Yanks know the score when it comes to all them other fuckos out there.


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## kabbes (Nov 29, 2015)

tommers said:


> I'm getting towards critical mass.  I hate everybody on all of the trains I have to get.   Whether it's because they get up too soon, or because they are looking at their stupid phone as we all shuffle towards the checkpoints - heads down,  desperate to avoid actually touching each other or recognising each other's existence.
> 
> This time of year is always the worst. Once the clocks go forwards I can start breaking it up with some cycling again. At the moment it's just a long dark hell.


Yes, this is a great description of it.  You can feel hate building in side you, in a way Darth Vader would be proud of.  I don't like feeling that towards my fellow humanity.  It's not me.


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## tommers (Nov 29, 2015)

It's no way to live your life.


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## sovereignb (Nov 29, 2015)

Seriously feels like traffic has increased 10 fold in last few weeks. What the fuck is going on??? And I don't think its just down to Xmas


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## davesgcr (Nov 29, 2015)

Winter is the crown of thorns in the commuters year. 

Deeply depressing - that is why I retired this Autumn - just could not cope with the 0724 from St Albans and the miserablesness of it all.


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## Sapphireblue (Dec 1, 2015)

sovereignb said:


> Seriously feels like traffic has increased 10 fold in last few weeks. What the fuck is going on??? And I don't think its just down to Xmas



as soon as it gets colder people who used to not drive now magically have access to cars.

presumably some of them used to walk / cycle? it's not like you suddenly switch from the bus to driving when the weather's bad, as surely if you have the option of driving rather than bus you would never get the bus?!


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## izz (Dec 1, 2015)

This is definitely the worst time of year, all the schools are in so everybody's in work and on the school run, normal traffic swollen by lorries filling shops for Christmas, normal traffic swollen by people on shopping expeditions, people turning to their cars rather than public transport because the weather's awful, people doing, I kid you not, 50mph through well-lit villages where the limit is 30 only to slow down to 30 between villages where its dark and scary but the limit is 50-60, or simply doing 30 all the way because its dark and scary.

Can take me as much as 1 hour 45 to get home, a distance of 30 miles. Wearing.


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## davesgcr (Dec 1, 2015)

izz said:


> This is definitely the worst time of year, all the schools are in so everybody's in work and on the school run, normal traffic swollen by lorries filling shops for Christmas, normal traffic swollen by people on shopping expeditions, people turning to their cars rather than public transport because the weather's awful, people doing, I kid you not, 50mph through well-lit villages where the limit is 30 only to slow down to 30 between villages where its dark and scary but the limit is 50-60, or simply doing 30 all the way because its dark and scary.
> 
> Can take me as much as 1 hour 45 to get home, a distance of 30 miles. Wearing.



Train wise it is the busiest time of year (passenger and freight) - obviously more car traffic and white van / lorry deliveries - coupled with short and dark , miserable days , flooded rural roads etc - all discouraging in many respects. ...  

Spring will come - and conditions will get better ...


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## izz (Dec 1, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> Spring will come - and conditions will get better ...


That's a very kind thought and I thank you for it. Worst time of year though, sometimes difficult to believe in Spring.


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## davesgcr (Dec 1, 2015)

izz said:


> That's a very kind thought and I thank you for it. Worst time of year though, sometimes difficult to believe in Spring.



Trust me - when I was out there , running trains and trudging round yards at stupid o clock overnight (on a 12 hour night shift) , I almost despaired - as frankly I hardly saw natural light from Sunday to Saturday - (and I often did overtime daytime on Sunday!) .....a 2 week spell in Glasgow on nights in December was the very worst...

There was an old boy in one of the signalboxes who would call us up on the radio - and announce "daylight at Yarmouth" - a cheery attempt at making us feel human at the end of a tough , miserable and cold nightshift....whatever time of year it was. Good old boy.


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## kabbes (Dec 2, 2015)

kabbes said:


> They have made me an offer!
> 
> I think I'm going to take it, but it's never easy to leave a job behind, and particularly not one where you actually get on well with and respect your colleagues.  That's a lot to give up.


After considerable heartache and talks with people at my current company, I have decided that giving up the fucking bastard commute really is worth chancing my arm at a different job and have accepted the offer.

Now I just at some point have to actually tell my current employer.  Christmas lunch today so I think I'll leave it until tomorrow...


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 2, 2015)

Yay, go kabbes!


And start a new thread; fucking nightmare of a bastard traffic-jam


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## Artaxerxes (Dec 2, 2015)

As depressing as the commute is in winter I still feel Summer is probably worse, especially if its hot and rainy, you get the pleasure of an armpit in the face and the sweaty dog smell of a crowded carriage. If you break down or get delayed, well thats even more shite, you're stuck on a train while outside the sun shines and gives joy to the world outside while you hump your way to work

Urgh.


I do miss the sun at this time of year though, but with grey skies all day every day its not like it'd be there if I wasn't working.



kabbes said:


> Now I just at some point have to actually tell my current employer.  Christmas lunch today so I think I'll leave it until tomorrow...



You should tell them over dessert, it'll be great.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 2, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> You should tell them over dessert, it'll be great.


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## kabbes (Dec 2, 2015)

Artaxerxes said:


> You should tell them over dessert, it'll be great.


Given then likely consumption of wine by that point, this is distinctly likely...


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## kabbes (Dec 2, 2015)

Bloody hell.

Sensing my reluctance, my company has put a much better suggestion in front of me, including working from home for two days every other week.

I've said if they can back that up with a firm offer, I'll take it and stay with them.  Working from home a day a week on average I reckon is better than driving five days a week, although that is a tough call.

At the end of the day, I don't really want to change jobs, I suppose.  It's a tough call -- I hate having to make these decisions!


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## Winot (Dec 2, 2015)

Nice position to be in though!


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## Dan U (Dec 2, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Bloody hell.
> 
> Sensing my reluctance, my company has put a much better suggestion in front of me, including working from home for two days every other week.
> 
> ...


What about driving you in a limo to work one day a fortnight as well so you don't feel you've missed out on traffic.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 2, 2015)

Having started working from home more, on the days I do schlep in to the office I seem to resent the commute a lot more than I did when it was a daily event.


Tricky decision is tricky...


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## davesgcr (Dec 2, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Bloody hell.
> 
> Sensing my reluctance, my company has put a much better suggestion in front of me, including working from home for two days every other week.
> 
> ...



Think on it - I had done 36 years work (from 21) , only really carried on to get my 2 eldest through univ (succesfully done) , and frankly hated the commute (note 36 years on railway work !) , hated the job and hated the office environment. They offered me part time - but I thought "no" (as you would end up doing much the same work in the same -ish time) - so an easy choice. Rather be "bored" (not) at home and do what I want to do , not Groundhog Day. 

However, if you enjoy the job (and I have had some great jobs) - then the bastard commute is part of the equation , in my case it was a null point for 3 of the 3 issues...Best of luck mate.


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## Puddy_Tat (Dec 2, 2015)

having been very late  at work, caught a bus to clapham junction rather than northern line then southern from bal-ham

the automated thingy that announces the next stop was having an interesting sort of time. 

the visual display was fine, but it was announcing some stops as random places in north east london, including saying it was 'roneo corner' (romfordish) at clapham junction



go home, bus, you're drunk...


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## existentialist (Dec 3, 2015)

It's not really a commute, but my journey from Kingston Crown Court back home to West Wales was as fucked up a train journey as I've had in a long time: the Twickenham-Reading connection was missed by 5 mins, as was the Reading-Swansea one (well, we saw the Swansea train disappear as we arrived at Reading). Then some lunatic was prancing around on the track at Neath station, which left us standing just outside there for 40 minutes, so that our trip to Swansea (from where we had an hour and a half's drive home) ended up taking a total of 6 hours, instead of the 4½ I was rather hoping for.

Glad I don't do that one every day


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 3, 2015)

existentialist said:


> It's not really a commute, but my journey from Kingston Crown Court back home to West Wales was as fucked up a train journey as I've had in a long time: the Twickenham-Reading connection was missed by 5 mins, as was the Reading-Swansea one (well, we saw the Swansea train disappear as we arrived at Reading). Then some lunatic was prancing around on the track at Neath station, which left us standing just outside there for 40 minutes, so that our trip to Swansea (from where we had an hour and a half's drive home) ended up taking a total of 6 hours, instead of the 4½ I was rather hoping for.
> 
> Glad I don't do that one every day



What were you up in court for and did you get off?


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## existentialist (Dec 3, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> What were you up in court for and did you get off?


In a manner of speaking, yes 

(I was a witness, but was not required to testify in the end)


----------



## BigMoaner (Dec 3, 2015)

i really can't abide the headphone people at the moment.  

i never say anything though.


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## tommers (Dec 5, 2015)

BigMoaner said:


> i really can't abide the headphone people at the moment.
> 
> i never say anything though.


I don't mind the headphone people, you can hear some really odd combinations. Yesterday there was this middle aged guy listening to somebody doing that kind of death metal shouting /growling stuff.  He didn't look the type.   

You've only got to worry when you can hear "You're a confident human being and your anger is easily controllable, you're a confident human being and your anger..." as you walk past. 

It's the people who insist on getting up five minutes before the station so they can stand by the door pitching about into other people's laps that wind me up.  Extra points if they were sitting next to you and are getting off AT THE SAME STOP. 

Them and the "actually I'm reading a really important story about Lady C on my phone whilst getting off a packed fucking train" people.


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## BigMoaner (Dec 5, 2015)

Interesting feedback tommers. I have often wanted to strangulate phone natterers.


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## BigMoaner (Dec 5, 2015)

Or people who spread their legs.


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## BigMoaner (Dec 5, 2015)

Tipy tap the laptop twat


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## tommers (Dec 5, 2015)

Pretty much everybody is what we're saying.


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## magneze (Dec 5, 2015)

People who get on the train and then stop so they can stand beside the door. Thus making the door smaller.


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## existentialist (Dec 5, 2015)

magneze said:


> People who get on the train and then stop so they can stand beside the door. Thus making the door smaller.


Being a fairly hefty chap, I have been known to just move forward and keep pushing when people do that. On particularly busy/packed occasions, anyway.

I believe London Underground call them "sentinels", and disapprove.


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## kabbes (Dec 5, 2015)

tommers said:


> It's the people who insist on getting up five minutes before the station so they can stand by the door pitching about into other people's laps that wind me up.  Extra points if they were sitting next to you and are getting off AT THE SAME STOP.


Oh dear, that's me at Dorking station.  It's the last stop and if I hang around, it'll take me an extra 5 mins to get out of the car park.  So I want to be first out the train.

Sorry.


----------



## tommers (Dec 5, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Oh dear, that's me at Dorking station.  It's the last stop and if I hang around, it'll take me an extra 5 mins to get out of the car park.  So I want to be first out the train.
> 
> Sorry.


It's OK Kabbes.  Having a special routine so that you don't take 5 minutes to get out of the car park sounds commutery enough for me to forgive you.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 6, 2015)

magneze said:


> People who get on the train and then stop so they can stand beside the door. Thus making the door smaller.



People who stand in the way as the doors open get shoved past, no exceptions. Fucking arseholes the lot of em.

I barged through a rather beefy American guy who I could hear through the doors as we stopped a few weeks back, I could hear his gasp as if noone had ever dared stop him going first.


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## Tony_LeaS (Dec 7, 2015)

South West haven't said much but apparently a suicide on the line between Waterloo and Woking. Been sat at Waterloo on a train for 20 minutes and we haven't gone anywhere. Obviously nothing can be done and its awful to hear, heading home seems the best option today.


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## existentialist (Dec 7, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> South West haven't said much but apparently a suicide on the line between Waterloo and Woking. Been sat at Waterloo on a train for 20 minutes and we haven't gone anywhere. Obviously nothing can be done and its awful to hear, heading home seems the best option today.


Reports suggest a person hit by a train at Raynes Park. Person dead after being hit by train at Raynes Park station - Delays until 1pm (From Surrey Comet)


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Dec 7, 2015)

existentialist said:


> Reports suggest a person hit by a train at Raynes Park. Person dead after being hit by train at Raynes Park station - Delays until 1pm (From Surrey Comet)



I eventually got to uni around 1, to be honest I think SW Trains did a great job. Shame to think that some passengers always feel selfish and complain. Took ages to get home too, but what can you do as I said before.


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## existentialist (Dec 7, 2015)

Tony_LeaS said:


> I eventually got to uni around 1, to be honest I think SW Trains did a great job. Shame to think that some passengers always feel selfish and complain. Took ages to get home too, but what can you do as I said before.


They do amazingly, but this sort of thing happens. I'm always a bit shocked at the people who are willing to stand there and rage about their delay when something so terrible has happened.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 8, 2015)

Though perhaps SWT are milking things a tad? Just had this mail in regards to the person hit at Raynes Park yesterday:



> The 20:00 will have 8 instead of 12 coaches due to the emergency services dealing with an incident yesterday.


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## Puddy_Tat (Dec 8, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Though perhaps SWT are milking things a tad? Just had this mail in regards to the person hit at Raynes Park yesterday:


 
dunno

possible that the train involved may need checking over / repair or may have been grounded during the investigation?

and southern are in a bloody mess this evening as well...

ETA - 20 minutes late, signal failure at Bracknell.


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## Me76 (Dec 9, 2015)

So the winter table has changed my train home from London bridge to leave 8 minutes earlier.  This now means I have to leave on the dot of 5.30, not likely to happen, or wait 30 minutes.  To add insult to injury, it leaves 8 minutes earlier but then hangs around at Crystal Palace for 4 minutes doing nothing.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 9, 2015)

Me76 said:


> So the winter table has changed my train home from London bridge to leave 8 minutes earlier.  This now means I have to leave on the dot of 5.30, not likely to happen, or wait 30 minutes.  To add insult to injury, it leaves 8 minutes earlier but then hangs around at Crystal Palace for 4 minutes doing nothing.




The scheduled waits are the worst form of torture. Used to have a train that waited at Twickenham for 7 minutes, seemed more like 7 hours. You could get off and leg it over the bridge and pick up a faster service from the other platform, but that meant giving up your seat and cramming on to a train so crowded it would make a death camp commandant blush.


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## Artaxerxes (Dec 9, 2015)

Central line fun, fucker with a cardboard cup of tea starting messing around with the tea bag in a crammed carriage, spilled tea on my leg.

Then as I was sitting on those end carriage seat sort of things I had an overly large woman cram herself in and practically sit on my lap at Stratford.


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## davesgcr (Dec 9, 2015)

Me76 said:


> So the winter table has changed my train home from London bridge to leave 8 minutes earlier.  This now means I have to leave on the dot of 5.30, not likely to happen, or wait 30 minutes.  To add insult to injury, it leaves 8 minutes earlier but then hangs around at Crystal Palace for 4 minutes doing nothing.



"Pathing time" - annoying but if there is not a reliable slot for the train to go onto , then it will sit there. Either that- or not run it. 

Or is some places , - "recovery time" - such that a train has a booked stand to allow either "pathing" - or a chance to set off on it's next stage "on time" - for example  Luton - Sutton - Wimbledon - Luton trains have some stand time at Sutton to hopefully leave on the next stage on schedule. (a circular route) - your  Crystal Palac train might be a South London circular (London Bridge - Victoria via the Palace and Streatham Hill - I surmise)


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## Me76 (Dec 9, 2015)

davesgcr said:


> "Pathing time" - annoying but if there is not a reliable slot for the train to go onto , then it will sit there. Either that- or not run it.
> 
> Or is some places , - "recovery time" - such that a train has a booked stand to allow either "pathing" - or a chance to set off on it's next stage "on time" - for example  Luton - Sutton - Wimbledon - Luton trains have some stand time at Sutton to hopefully leave on the next stage on schedule. (a circular route) - your  Crystal Palac train might be a South London circular (London Bridge - Victoria via the Palace and Streatham Hill - I surmise)


It is indeed that route and the note against the change on the winter timetable says 


> Resulting in more evenly spaced service with London Overground services along Sydenham corridor



Although, the train never left on time in its previous incarnation and I can't see that changing now, so hopefully the 4 minutes will just take up lateness!


----------



## kabbes (Dec 9, 2015)

Job latest:  aargh, tug of war.  It would be a lot easier if everybody just laid out what they were willing to offer from the start.  I just had a 30 minute talk with the HR director of the company that wants me to go there that left me drenched in sweat from the sheer stress of decision making and, ultimately, having to let one group of people down.  Choices are supposed to be nice, not leave you insomniac and worn down.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 9, 2015)

If you've told your current employer that you're thinking of leaving and they've upped their pay and/or conditions to persuade you to stay, that was probably a knee-jerk reaction to avoid the hassle of finding a replacement for you. So should you stay, once the dust settles they'll resent you and gob in your tea every morning. Take the new job and send us a stick of rock.


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## davesgcr (Dec 9, 2015)

Me76 said:


> It is indeed that route and the note against the change on the winter timetable says
> 
> 
> Although, the train never left on time in its previous incarnation and I can't see that changing now, so hopefully the 4 minutes will just take up lateness!



A good guess then ! Anyone might think or surmise I once had something to do with timetablng in South London


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## Puddy_Tat (Dec 10, 2015)

signal failure at richmond.

think 22 minutes late may be optimistic.

blargh


----------



## magneze (Dec 10, 2015)

Clapham Junction is fucked.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Dec 10, 2015)




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## magneze (Dec 10, 2015)

Crowd control in force.


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## Puddy_Tat (Dec 10, 2015)

magneze said:


> Crowd control in force.


got diverted via kingston and wimbledon, arrived on platform 7 (one of the secret-ish ones)


not much worse than usual on the bridge


----------



## magneze (Dec 10, 2015)

They had a barrier stopping people getting to platform 5&6 which caused massive crowding on the bridge at that end.


----------



## Chemical needs (Dec 10, 2015)

Last night a dickhead in a white bmw pushed me off my bike at a junction because instead of waiting at the junction in a stationery position and checking if he was about to run someone over he was only looking in one direction and rolling backwards and forwards on the clutch.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 10, 2015)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> If you've told your current employer that you're thinking of leaving and they've upped their pay and/or conditions to persuade you to stay, that was probably a knee-jerk reaction to avoid the hassle of finding a replacement for you. So should you stay, once the dust settles they'll resent you and gob in your tea every morning. Take the new job and send us a stick of rock.


Good thought.

But I am staying.  Final decision.  I must be crazy, but I have been successfully sweet-talked back into bed.


----------



## existentialist (Dec 10, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Good thought.
> 
> But I am staying.  Final decision.  I must be crazy, but I have been successfully sweet-talked back into bed.


Good for you. Although there is a limit to the number of times that strategy will work.

With this kind of decision, the only way to make a good one is to "go with the gut" - ultimately, the right choice is the one you think will make you feel good about it. And, at risk of going all NLP, we make the best decisions we can based on the information we have available to us. I am sure you have made the best decision you can, and I wish you luck and lots of good feelings in your rejuvenated career at XYZ Corp (Holdings), Inc.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2015)

kabbes said:


> Good thought.
> 
> But I am staying.  Final decision.  I must be crazy, but I have been successfully sweet-talked back into bed.



So no sticks of rock


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Dec 24, 2015)

i have a double seat to myself on se trains towards charing cross this morning

i am starting to approve of this xmas thing...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 8, 2016)

Soutwest Trains:


> *Disruption between Havant and Guildford until approximately 12:00*
> *Description*
> 
> 
> Icy rail conditions in the Petersfield area are causing disruption to services between Havant and Guildford.



"Hello work? Be in around March, is that OK?"


----------



## kabbes (Jan 8, 2016)

My train arrived 20 minutes late today.  It's not like that's so late as to cause fist waving and curses unto the highest of the high, but it's still rather irritating.  Makes me kind of late-ish for work through no fault of my own.


----------



## Tony_LeaS (Jan 12, 2016)

It seems the later you get on the tubes once the clock strikes 7:30, the more dicky people become and the more easily irritated/easily annoyed/more of a fucking mong people become.

Woman stood in front of me nearly knocked me out as the train was slowing down just before London Bridge so just headbutted me in the nose full on, but didn't even say anything just looked at me and turned away. Someone else made sure I was alright though. Dont feel any pain just slightly dizzy now. And my trains stopped once or twice to Surbiton because, well, why not!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 12, 2016)

A friendly headbutt is more interaction than the average London commuter gets in six years 














(hope you're OK!)


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 12, 2016)

Last week the surprise of ice in January fucked SWT. Today Southeastern has been affected by a burning ball of fire in the sky no less!

Rail operator Southeastern blames 'bright sunlight' for delays - BBC News



> *Rail operator Southeastern blames 'bright sunlight' for delays*


----------



## Bungle73 (Jan 12, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Last week the surprise of ice in January fucked SWT. Today Southeastern has been affected by a burning ball of fire in the sky no less!
> 
> Rail operator Southeastern blames 'bright sunlight' for delays - BBC News


The sun was obscuring the despatch monitors. That's a serious safety issue.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 12, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> The sun was obscuring the despatch monitors. That's a serious safety issue.




Yes, people should be sacked for purchasing and installing dispatch monitors that can't be seen on those rare occasions that the sun comes out.


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 12, 2016)

We all know how dangerous it is to drive into low facing Winter sun. Signals have been passed at danger caused by "phantom" illumination of proceed(yellow) aspects - one at New Cross in the 1980's caused a head on collision(not fatal) between 2 trains. 

Despatch monitors are critical when you have a 10 or 12 car train behind the drivers cab. No awards for pulling away with trapped passengers , - but of course the meejia do not appreciate this. (or most of Joe Public) Rant over.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 12, 2016)




----------



## existentialist (Jan 12, 2016)

davesgcr said:


> We all know how dangerous it is to drive into low facing Winter sun. Signals have been passed at danger caused by "phantom" illumination of proceed(yellow) aspects - one at New Cross in the 1980's caused a head on collision(not fatal) between 2 trains.
> 
> Despatch monitors are critical when you have a 10 or 12 car train behind the drivers cab. No awards for pulling away with trapped passengers , - but of course the meejia do not appreciate this. (or most of Joe Public) Rant over.


And I think the station in question - Lewisham, ISTR - is on a curve anyway, so sighting down the train is tricky.

I don't know how bright the monitors are, but most screens will struggle to be visible in direct sunlight: and our expectations of safety now are much higher than they were (not to mention that getting stuck in a door and dragged was less of an issue in slam-door days), so we're going to be stuck with drivers needing to use screens, etc, to see down their trains.

Maybe one solution would be to have the screen in the cab, fed by a radio signal from a transmitter passing on pictures from cameras on the platform. But I expect someone has already invented that


----------



## davesgcr (Jan 12, 2016)

existentialist said:


> And I think the station in question - Lewisham, ISTR - is on a curve anyway, so sighting down the train is tricky.
> 
> I don't know how bright the monitors are, but most screens will struggle to be visible in direct sunlight: and our expectations of safety now are much higher than they were (not to mention that getting stuck in a door and dragged was less of an issue in slam-door days), so we're going to be stuck with drivers needing to use screens, etc, to see down their trains.
> 
> Maybe one solution would be to have the screen in the cab, fed by a radio signal from a transmitter passing on pictures from cameras on the platform. But I expect someone has already invented that



A good number of the most modern stock does indeed have in cab despatch monitors - mainline and TfL.

 Lewisham is a really awkward station with the curved platforms and realistically you would need at least 2 platform staff to safely see off a train. Even guard operated trains have problems and a Merseyrail staff member is in jail after he was judged culpable after a person (under the influence) ended up being dragged along a platform. This is much in staff and management minds.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 12, 2016)

davesgcr said:


> A good number of the most modern stock does indeed have in cab despatch monitors - mainline and TfL.
> 
> Lewisham is a really awkward station with the curved platforms and realistically you would need at least 2 platform staff to safely see off a train. Even guard operated trains have problems and a Merseyrail staff member is in jail after he was judged culpable after a person (under the influence) ended up being dragged along a platform. This is much in staff and management minds.


 
indeed.

the suburban trains on SE have been driver only operated for about 20 years, and the monitors aren't (as far as i know) new.

the platform in question at Lewisham is on a very sharp right hand bend and the platform is on the left.  When trains had guards, a guard could not see from one end of the train to another and there were platform staff on duty at any time when 8 car trains were running.

sunglasses would not help a driver see a monitor that's got sun glare.  i'm sure that if this had been a long term problem, ASLEF would have made their feelings known.

conjecture, but wonder if some combination of all the building work in Lewisham (e.g. a building that previously provided shade not no longer being there, or a new building causing reflections) may be a factor?  Although the exact height / angle of the sun will vary from one day to the next.


----------



## Dan U (Jan 12, 2016)

Surely this happens every winter? It's not like the sun changes trajectory much (from year to year) . Is it not possible to modify shade on the screen going forward?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 13, 2016)

Ever missed your station because a train driver didn't stop?

Driver forgot to stop @ Godalming 

Colleague of mine coming from Sidcup to Charring X reported the driver forgot to stop at Waterloo East once, a station that EVERY train to and from Charring X stops at. Having sailed through a voice came over the tannoy, "Oops."


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 21, 2016)

reading - waterloo line is, to use technical term, buggered this morning

hmph


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 28, 2016)

Train 10 minutes late in to Waterloo today, that's on time according to SWT, so no explanation needed. As a result had to get a train to Charring X rather than walk. As the train pulled in to Waterloo East the usual million people piled off, including one irate gentleman who's ire was aroused by having to struggle to get his Boris Bike off the train and through the throng. He then cycled off down the platform towards Southwark tube.


----------



## magneze (Jan 28, 2016)

Balham station early doors, train curiously packed for the time of day. A few people who just wouldn't get out of the way of the doorway so people couldn't get off and people couldn't get on. Twats. Just stood there, blocking off the entrance and exit.


----------



## existentialist (Jan 28, 2016)

magneze said:


> Balham station early doors, train curiously packed for the time of day. A few people who just wouldn't get out of the way of the doorway so people couldn't get off and people couldn't get on. Twats. Just stood there, blocking off the entrance and exit.


It should be legal just to drag them off the train and hurl them down some convenient stairs when they do that.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 28, 2016)

Ah, WFH day!


----------



## rubbershoes (Feb 2, 2016)

Tonight thank god its them instead of you

100,000 stuck at Chinese railway station


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 8, 2016)

rather a lot of leaves on the line this evening. 

mostly with the whole tree attached...

blargh


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 12, 2016)

line blocked - two broken down trains - this morning.

saw one yesterday (think it was going to hounslow) showing "this train is experiencing difficulties" instead of a destination.

maybe the trains this morning have existential angst or something like that...


----------



## Me76 (Feb 12, 2016)

The difference on my trains this year to before Christmas is amazing. Actually leaving on time and hardly any cancelled.  

I'm not sure if its engineering works that took place over the Christmas period have had an effect or drivers aren't taking the piss.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Feb 12, 2016)

Four bastard hours to complete a ninety minute journey tonight.  

Major signal failure around Stafford blocking the entire line, so we had to go back to Birmingham and get another train nearly an hour later back North.  Trains this week have been shit...twats.


----------



## little_legs (Feb 17, 2016)

Good morning. I was wondering if you anyone could suggest a safe place to park my bike next to/around Kennington Tube Station. Basically I am looking for a spot where I can safely leave my bike between 8am and 5pm. Thank you.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 17, 2016)

SWT has just emailed me to make excuses for tomorrow, that's a first.

Seems like it will be chilly and a chance of rain and as such they advise on making alternative arrangements. Like what exactly? Dole?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 17, 2016)

little_legs said:


> Good morning. I was wondering if you anyone could suggest a safe place to park my bike next to/around Kennington Tube Station. Basically I am looking for a spot where I can safely leave my bike between 8am and 5pm. Thank you.



Ashtead.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 25, 2016)

more here


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 26, 2016)

They need a 'Please just let me sleep it off in the carriage sidings' one.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Feb 26, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> more here




The number of times I woke up in fucking Basingstoke to find that there were no more trains heading back towards London, could have done with those.

Never again though, oh no, not since moving to the Portsmouth line


----------



## skyscraper101 (Feb 26, 2016)

As a treat to myself, and because we've had a couple of gorgeously sunny mornings recently, I've been getting the Thames clipper boat from Putney to Embankment and then walking up to Russell Sq where I work as an experiment. They've just bought a couple of new boats into service and its like travelling first class to work. Leather seats, tables, a full bar, snacks, and some of the most awesome views in London.

It takes pretty much the same amount of time as getting the bus (around an hour) and is way nicer.

The catch is, it's £8 each way


----------



## Bungle73 (Feb 26, 2016)

skyscraper101 said:


> As a treat to myself, and because we've had a couple of gorgeously sunny mornings recently, I've been getting the Thames clipper boat from Putney to Embankment and then walking up to Russell Sq where I work as an experiment. They've just bought a couple of new boats into service and its like travelling first class to work. Leather seats, tables, a full bar, snacks, and some of the most awesome views in London.
> 
> It takes pretty much the same amount of time as getting the bus (around an hour) and is way nicer.
> 
> The catch is, it's £8 each way


Why aren't you using Oyster? It's £7; and if you have a Travelcard £5.35.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Feb 26, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Why aren't you using Oyster? It's £7; and if you have a Travelcard £5.35.



Actually I stand corrected, I was using my Oyster, and it's £7 you're right.

Nonetheless, still expensive. I don't use a travelcard either because it would double my weekly spend on getting to work and back (currently £15 PAYG on the bus) to over £32 for a Zone 1-2 weekly travelcard.

Were it to be included in the travelcard (like they do in Sydney for example), instead of a slightly discounted add on, I would do it every day probably.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Feb 26, 2016)

Still, awesome views


----------



## kabbes (Feb 29, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> more here


Needs a "Please" at the start.  Politeness costs nothing.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 3, 2016)

It's becoming a regular thing that my evening train is only half length.  Today took the biscuit because another train was cancelled so there were two trains of people in half a train.  It was horrible.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 3, 2016)

kabbes said:


> It's becoming a regular thing that my evening train is only half length.  Today took the biscuit because another train was cancelled so there were two trains of people in half a train.  It was horrible.




Cosy.


Three weeks WFH now, but will need to go in soon. Almost daily SWT mail me to apologise for short formed trains, here's today's:

Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Godalming.

The 18:18 will have 8 instead of 12 coaches due to more trains than usual needing repairs at the same time.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 8, 2016)

Half a train tonight AGAIN.

Seriously.  This is so, so common these days.  Like every week common.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 8, 2016)

kabbes said:


> Half a train tonight AGAIN.
> 
> Seriously.  This is so, so common these days.  Like every week common.




Yep, just had this mail from SWT:

Dear Bahnhof Strasse,

Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Godalming.

The 18:45 will have 8 instead of 12 coaches due to more trains than usual needing repairs at the same time.
The 20:00 will have 8 instead of 12 coaches due to more trains than usual needing repairs at the same time.

We are sorry for the disruption this will cause you.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 8, 2016)

Because trains are usually overly spacious, really.  You can easily remove 33% or even 50% of the room with no consequences at all.


----------



## pengaleng (Mar 8, 2016)

bloody tories.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 8, 2016)

kabbes said:


> Because trains are usually overly spacious, really.  You can easily remove 33% or even 50% of the room with no consequences at all.



I really like it when they cancel a train and then only send half a train for the following service. Everyone lols all the way home then...


----------



## High Voltage (Mar 10, 2016)

My usual 45min-1hr commute stretched to a nice and relaxing 3hr drive all around the Bristol area as a result of an accident on the Portishead motorway bridge - ho hum!


----------



## tommers (Mar 14, 2016)

Could have got the 8.05 if I ran for it. Decided not to as there's another one at 8.11. 

That has just been cancelled, as has the 8.20 and 8.35.

There's a lesson in there somewhere


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Mar 14, 2016)

tommers said:


> Could have got the 8.05 if I ran for it. Decided not to as there's another one at 8.11.
> 
> That has just been cancelled, as has the 8.20 and 8.35.
> 
> There's a lesson in there somewhere


yes.

you should have stayed in bed...


----------



## tommers (Mar 14, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> yes.
> 
> you should have stayed in bed...



That's just a universal truth.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 14, 2016)

tommers said:


> Could have got the 8.05 if I ran for it. Decided not to as there's another one at 8.11.
> 
> That has just been cancelled, as has the 8.20 and 8.35.
> 
> There's a lesson in there somewhere


The lesson is that you are a lucky fucker for having four trains within a half hour spell.

When this happens to me, the trains are spaced 30 minutes apart!


----------



## existentialist (Mar 14, 2016)

kabbes said:


> The lesson is that you are a lucky fucker for having four trains within a half hour spell.
> 
> When this happens to me, the trains are spaced 30 minutes apart!


When I used to commute into London from Surbiton, there were trains roughly every 10 minutes or so. But it'd usually only take one being cancelled to result in the next two or three being too rammed to board. Bad enough because Surbiton was often the last stop on a long(ish) trip in, and the trains were pretty full when they arrived...

ETA: I miss those commuting days, in a strange sort of way.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 14, 2016)

existentialist said:


> When I used to commute into London from Surbiton, there were trains roughly every 10 minutes or so. But it'd usually only take one being cancelled to result in the next two or three being too rammed to board. Bad enough because Surbiton was often the last stop on a long(ish) trip in, and the trains were pretty full when they arrived...
> 
> ETA: I miss those commuting days, in a strange sort of way.




Surbiton's becoming the new hot-spot for suicides I reckon. There seem to have been a few there recently, Wimbledon used to be popular, but they're blocked access to the platforms that have the fast trains going through.

Suicide trends


----------



## existentialist (Mar 14, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Surbiton's becoming the new hot-spot for suicides I reckon. There seem to have been a few there recently, Wimbledon used to be popular, but they're blocked access to the platforms that have the fast trains going through.
> 
> Suicide trends


"Opportunity" is a big factor in suicide, and platforms with fast trains running through are always going to be a risk, particularly for people who may be making an attempt impulsively. Network Rail have done quite a lot of work on proactive suicide interventions at hotspots, including staff training, but I have no idea if they've got anything going on at Surbiton.

The other issue is that Surbiton station is the nearest main line railway to two psychiatric units (one in Tolworth and one in Kingston), and Surbiton itself is often used (or used to be - I've not been there for 10 years) for housing for people with psychiatric and other difficulties, at places like the YMCA. Proximity to psychiatric units is often a factor - for example Tooting Bec was always an outlier for suicide statistics, because of its proximity to Springfield Hospital, and there were quite often holdups (and fatalities) at Tolworth underpass as a result of patients absconding from Tolworth Hospital and jumping (or threatening to jump) from the overpass there.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 14, 2016)

Makes sense.

At Wimbledon the platforms that have the fast trains going through have no stopping services, so it's easy to block them off, with Surbition the London-bound fast trains platform does have stopping services so can't be blocked.

Do notice at every station now loads of things by the Samaritans etc. Hopefully that will help some of those who are in a bad way.


Tolworth, where my parents met - learn something new every day!


----------



## existentialist (Mar 14, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Tolworth, where my parents met - learn something new every day!


Nice to know something good came out of Tolworth (apart from me, that is).


----------



## kabbes (Mar 22, 2016)

Half a train AGAIN.  Once again utterly squashed (and no seat, of course) for my obscene fare.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 22, 2016)

... And a pregnant woman just fainted.  Well done SW trains


----------



## Roadkill (Mar 28, 2016)

Stuck in railway chaos, trying to get from Exeter to Hull. South West Trains all fucked up, so had to get a ludicrously crowded Great Western one, which was then late. Now the power lines on the East Coast Main Line are down and I'm stuck on another stupidly crowded East Midlands service to Sheffield, after which I'll need to get a connection. Christ knows what time I'll be home. I'm ill, tired and fed up. Fuck the railways : I'm buying a car.


----------



## Bungle73 (Mar 28, 2016)

Roadkill said:


> Stuck in railway chaos, trying to get from Exeter to Hull. South West Trains all fucked up, so had to get a ludicrously crowded Great Western one, which was then late. Now the power lines on the East Coast Main Line are down and I'm stuck on another stupidly crowded East Midlands service to Sheffield, after which I'll need to get a connection. Christ knows what time I'll be home. I'm ill, tired and fed up. Fuck the railways : I'm buying a car.


I mean it's not like there was a MAJOR STORM  last night or anything..................


----------



## Roadkill (Mar 28, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> I mean it's not like there was a MAJOR STORM  last night or anything..................



You'd expect some disruption, but it's the fact that _nothing_ has worked that's pissed me off.  Well, that and minimal bank-holiday services, massive crowding, trains without enough legroom, trains without WiFi or power sockets, and the difficulty of getting accurate information on what's actually going on.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Mar 28, 2016)

I used to get the Victoria train to clapham, then to Waterloo, where I would get the East train to charring cross. Then I realised it took just as long to walk up and catch the Waterloo East to charring cross as it did to just walk over the flipping bridge.
Then I realised it was quicker to forget changing trains at clapham and just walk up from Victoria.
Even that train is pissing me off now. I've started taking a quieter train to blackfrairs. Even though it's only one stop it goes all over the bloody south of London and takes 30minutes. I don't really mind though because that one reason it's not so crowded. It tends not to have headphone twats too. 
Bit of a long walk to Soho, but wide north bank pavements and not too many people means I can skateboard it in about 15 to 20 minutes.


----------



## tommers (Mar 29, 2016)

Almost made it through a day without one of my trains being cancelled.  Almost.


----------



## rubbershoes (Mar 29, 2016)

25 minutes in light traffic, 25 minutes in heavy traffic.  Getting to work is predictable

Getting home on time becomes uncertain when all you bastards come to the West Country for your summer hols and jam up the M5.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 12, 2016)

Half sized train again.  Like fucking sardines in here


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 5, 2016)

Good luck to anyone trying to get to Waterloo this morning, large fire @ Vauxhall, SWT advising against travelling at all!


----------



## Dan U (Jun 14, 2016)

So i don't commute by Southern much anymore but follow lots of local folk on twitter who still do - it is incredible how many commuters from Reigate/Redhill who would normally be opposed to such a thing are screaming for nationalisation as Southern just fuck their lives up on a daily basis. 

This by 'Jeremy Clackson' at Inside Croydon is really interesting 

Southern Failways: The train driver’s story

it's based on this blog 

The Real Blog: The real reason Southern Rail services have imploded

The suggestion being that the staff shortages crippling the network is actually Southern trying to fuck it's unionised staff hard for striking, in turn fucking everyone else.

Given the amount of Tory MP's actively pressuring Southern be interesting if this gains wider traction as it is surely something many of them would secretly approve of


----------



## Dan U (Jun 15, 2016)

another Southern strike - as many have noted on social media and this article, no one will probably notice the difference from current terrible service

Another Strike Called For Southern Trains


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 17, 2016)

Royal Arsecot

(that's how one of the guards on the line pronounces it, and by heck it's appropriate this week)

:flamethrower:


----------



## tommers (Jun 18, 2016)

Dan U said:


> So i don't commute by Southern much anymore but follow lots of local folk on twitter who still do - it is incredible how many commuters from Reigate/Redhill who would normally be opposed to such a thing are screaming for nationalisation as Southern just fuck their lives up on a daily basis.
> 
> This by 'Jeremy Clackson' at Inside Croydon is really interesting
> 
> ...


I did wonder cos these "staff shortages" have been going on for about three weeks. It was "excessive conductor sickness" the other day. 

Southern are absolutely useless.  I use four different rail services every day and it's noticeable how much shitter they are than anybody else.


----------



## tommers (Jun 18, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> Royal Arsecot
> 
> (that's how one of the guards on the line pronounces it, and by heck it's appropriate this week)
> 
> :flamethrower:


I got a later train the other day and a man had a felt top hat on.  I just thought that was what went on in London these days.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 23, 2016)

general message for travel today, is don't.

no trains or buses here at the moment.

i wish they would say it won't be sorted for a few hours, then i could go back to bed...


----------



## tommers (Jun 23, 2016)

Absolute nightmare here.  Clapham Junction is flooded, trains are all fucked up.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 23, 2016)

on way to london via reading - paddington.

circle and district lines buggered so not quite sure how i'll get south of the river...


----------



## marty21 (Jun 23, 2016)

Liverpool St fucked ,so getting bus to Manor House for sweaty packed tube joy


----------



## kabbes (Jun 23, 2016)

Through some kind of miracle, my train ran as per normal and then the underground was clear, probably because nobody else could make it in.

At Earlsfield, one guy on the platform did plead for everybody to move up, saying he had been waiting on the platform for an hour in the rain.  I felt sorry for him.


----------



## Virtual Blue (Jun 23, 2016)

delays from Streatham Station and then stuck on Blackfriars - Thameslink - Farringdon for fucking ages.
2 hours to get in.

Should have cycled.


----------



## TruXta (Jun 23, 2016)

Would truthfully have been faster to walk the ten miles to work


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jun 23, 2016)

Hour and half on the Central line this morning, hot, sweaty, the rain steaming off people. Journey should take 50 minutes.

Shit commute


----------



## magneze (Jun 23, 2016)

Total shit out there today. Got to Wimbledon, exit only. Finally get in, train turns up, terminates at the next station. Next train? Sometime. Went home.


----------



## Virtual Blue (Jun 23, 2016)

Only took me 2.5 hours to Islington to Streatham.
Waste of a bastard day.


----------



## Dead Cat Bounce (Jun 23, 2016)

Six and a half hours to and from work today. London, you've finally broken me.


----------



## ice-is-forming (Jun 23, 2016)

Had to sit and look at the Pacific Ocean for three minutes earlier whilst they fixed a hole on the esplanade ￼￼


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jun 23, 2016)

this morning -

doing the final check on the phone to see if train is still on time and see train service suspended (tree on the line in the bracknell area)

wait for info about when it's going to be cleared or that tickets accepted via reading - paddington.

no point in going via reading - guildford line as signals or power supply or something at guildford hit by lightning.​ 
local bus (to reading) not running due to power lines down across the road.

ticket acceptance via paddington announced, longish walk to get alternative bus to reading.  just miss one.

signalling problems in the slough area - bloody slow journey to paddington.

wimbledon bit of district line suspended due to flooding so can't go that way.

paddington (bakerloo line) currently closed for rebuilding, walk to edgware road.

signal problems on the bakerloo line.  eventually change to jubilee line at baker street, victoria at green park and northern line at stockwell. 

about an hour and a half late for work, although i wasn't the last one to arrive.

this afternoon -

South West Trains more or less advising not to travel, no trains shown as calling at Wimbledon.  Ticket acceptance via Paddington still in place.  Bakerloo line still having problems, so decided to go to Victoria and round on the circle line.

Got to Victoria, circle line now suspended.   Back down the victoria line.  Remember that Paddington Bakerloo line is shut, decide that with the circle line being buggered no point in going via Baker Street, change to central line and walk up the road from Lancaster Gate.

Got on train due to leave paddington in just over 5 minutes rather than the one with the last minute rush to it.  5 minutes after departure time, guard announces a technical problem and suggests anyone for Reading gets off again.  Again, avoid the train that's under siege and got a seat on the one a few minutes later.

At Reading, bloody great queue for trains in this direction, but one apparently coming in.  By the look of things, it had probably been the first one through for an hour or two.

Home about 45 minutes late.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.​


----------



## little_legs (Jun 30, 2016)

Yesterday, again in the God damn windowless number 12, 4 kids sat eating the nasty chicken. The bus smelled like they were eating something rotten & reheated. I counted and kept reminding myself that they were hungry that's why they were eating. But then got off half way and walked.

This evening, during rush hour, a man with a dog on Victoria line train, the carriage was packed by people like a tin of sardines. Someone, unintentionally I am sure, stepped on the dog's foot. She did not like it and started to growl. The owner said to her _it's ok darling_, but she didn't care, she was upset.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jun 30, 2016)

The aircon on my train this evening was a bit fierce.  Had to get the emergency jumper out of the bag.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jul 4, 2016)

Long trip to get to the office today, should have got in about 20 past 8, instead sat on the tube waiting and bored for an extra 30 minutes or so. 

Good times.


----------



## Dan U (Jul 6, 2016)

Comes to something when a local rail users group places this advert in The Times


----------



## Dan U (Jul 6, 2016)

apologies if the image is showing massive btw, my skills don't extend to shrinking it


----------



## marty21 (Jul 6, 2016)

Dan U said:


> apologies if the image is showing massive btw, my skills don't extend to shrinking it


If everyone was that small we could all get on one train


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 6, 2016)

so it looks like my southern line trains to London bridge will be reduced from c. 12 between 6Am and 9AM, to 3. yes, 3. and I have the choice of getting to work early and looking too eager or arriving late.

Time to dig out the bike and start sweating that lard off


----------



## kabbes (Jul 6, 2016)

The piss taking is epic.  Could it be the beginning of the end for rail franchises, though?  We can only hope.

I'm so fed up with commuting, amongst other rat race things, that we have decided that we are ending this life(style) on 30 June 2019.  On to new things after then, probably away from the ridiculously overcrowded south-east.  A week on, we still seem to be holding to it as a concept -- it didn't dissolve the morning after, certainly.


----------



## Santino (Jul 6, 2016)

kabbes said:


> The piss taking is epic.  Could it be the beginning of the end for rail franchises, though?  We can only hope.
> 
> I'm so fed up with commuting, amongst other rat race things, that we have decided that we are ending this life(style) on 30 June 2019.  On to new things after then, probably away from the ridiculously overcrowded south-east.  A week on, we still seem to be holding to it as a concept -- it didn't dissolve the morning after, certainly.


Can I have your house?


----------



## ffsear (Jul 6, 2016)

If they are cutting all these services,  does that mean their will be an excess of rolling stock?   Why can't my packed 8.40 from South Croydon 8 carriage service become a 12 carriage service?


----------



## kabbes (Jul 6, 2016)

Santino said:


> Can I have your house?


By "have", you mean "buy", right?


----------



## Dan U (Jul 6, 2016)

ffsear said:


> If they are cutting all these services,  does that mean their will be an excess of rolling stock?   Why can't my packed 8.40 from South Croydon 8 carriage service become a 12 carriage service?



don't be so logical.


----------



## Santino (Jul 6, 2016)

kabbes said:


> By "have", you mean "buy", right?


 Yeah, ok.

Can I have your money too?


----------



## kabbes (Jul 6, 2016)

By "have" you mean "murder you and take", right?


----------



## Santino (Jul 6, 2016)

'Murder' is such an ugly word.


----------



## Me76 (Jul 11, 2016)

So, even though the trains I get have been largely unaffected by the unoffical strike action, Southern have completely cut many of them in their revised timetable.  Two whole routes just disappeared. 

Their website says


> *Please note that whilst the **amended timetable** is in place then claims will be accepted against either the amended timetable or the normal timetable.*



So does that means I can claim every single day?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 11, 2016)

Me76 said:


> So does that means I can claim every single day?


 
I have seen it suggested elsewhere that yes, you can.  (assuming you do daily tickets or weekly season tickets - the system for getting any money back on monthly / annual season tickets is a bit more complex.


----------



## discobastard (Jul 11, 2016)

Me76 said:


> So, even though the trains I get have been largely unaffected by the unoffical strike action, Southern have completely cut many of them in their revised timetable.  Two whole routes just disappeared.
> 
> Their website says
> 
> ...





Puddy_Tat said:


> I have seen it suggested elsewhere that yes, you can.  (assuming you do daily tickets or weekly season tickets - the system for getting any money back on monthly / annual season tickets is a bit more complex.



I emailed them about this today - I may get a response within 20 days apparently.

It is really unclear on their site what happens if you are (like me) a monthly Oyster travelcard holder (Tulse Hill -> London Bridge and back daily).

They say you should keep a record of delays and cancellations but I haven't been doing that and it seems totally unreasonable to expect anybody to do that (esp when the train I get home depends on what time I leave work).

And here is what appears to be the laughable bit - they say you need to submit your Oyster statement so they know when you touched in and out of the network.  This is fin at Tulse Hill, but if the departure boards at London Bridge say a train is delayed or cancelled, you won't touch in (in fact they encourage you to stay on the concourse if there are no trains) and so your proof of intent to travel is all over the place.

Anyway - I shall publish any updates I get.

It would be nice of them to be clear about whether you can/can't claim for trains that have been removed from the timetable.


----------



## Me76 (Jul 11, 2016)

I'm going to try it.  

My regular morning train being removed means I can't make any classes at the gym anymore (I know, poor me, fwp etc) which is annoying and it also means that any flexibility I had going home has gone (I mainly go to West Norwood but would get a Tulse Hill train when there were delays / cancellations) so I now need to be a bit of a clock watcher at work or wait 30 minutes in between trains, or pay as you go for tube / bus via Brixton.  

It looks like you can make three claims on the same on line application, so I will send the first one off tomorrow.  I am sure there is a massive wait for any response from them, but I will keep you informed.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Jul 11, 2016)

I knew it. My bus (14) is one of the slowest in London. 3rd slowest in London to be accurate. I'm currently averaging 1hr and 10 getting from Putney Bridge to Tottenham Ct Rd.

Piss take.



> _London’s 10 slowest buses_
> 15H – Charing Cross to Tower – 4.9mph
> 15H – Tower to Charing Cross – 5.1mph
> 14 – Putney Heath to Warren St Station – 5.6mph
> ...



From: Two of the slowest bus routes in London travel through Hornchurch


----------



## Me76 (Jul 12, 2016)

First claim submitted, no reference number or confirmation email received so I might have well sent that into the ether!!


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 12, 2016)

Meltdown Monday: Southern's Problems Run Deep

interesting overview of the current Southern rail shitstorm


----------



## sealion (Jul 12, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> Meltdown Monday: Southern's Problems Run Deep
> 
> interesting overview of the current Southern rail shitstorm



Also southern/govia is the only franchise that gets no money from ticket sales.It goes straight to the government so there is no incentive for them to run a decent and proper service.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 14, 2016)

11 minutes late this morning, 33 minutes late this evening.

signal problems at battersea (not sure if last night's fire caused this or a coincidence) and line closed (large vehicle hit bridge then buggered off, from what i can gather) in the brentford area

all not well on south west trains today.

:blargh:


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 14, 2016)

im cycling again. 25 minutes to Bank each way from peckham . quicker than the non existent trains but i am sweating like david camerons pig when i arrive. trains are down to 3 during rush hour, compared with 12 last week.i cant drink the night before if i have to cycle as it kills me, so maybe not too bad as i have slashed my alcohol intake by 80%


----------



## Dan U (Jul 16, 2016)

How many Southern trains can you cancel? 

Southern Rail Tycoon


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 17, 2016)




----------



## SikhWarrioR (Jul 17, 2016)

skyscraper101 said:


> I knew it. My bus (14) is one of the slowest in London. 3rd slowest in London to be accurate. I'm currently averaging 1hr and 10 getting from Putney Bridge to Tottenham Ct Rd.
> 
> Piss take.
> 
> ...


We got better speeds than that with LGOC "B" types a century ago


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 17, 2016)

SikhWarrioR said:


> We got better speeds than that with LGOC "B" types a century ago


 
I think average speeds were better when the 'engine' had to be fed regularly...


----------



## SikhWarrioR (Jul 17, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> I think average speeds were better when the 'engine' had to be fed regularly...



A "2" horsepower engine ??


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 18, 2016)

Last week was relatively efficient on my commute - only a total delay of 35 minutes.


----------



## Hocus Eye. (Jul 18, 2016)

SikhWarrioR said:


> We got better speeds than that with LGOC "B" types a century ago


Perhaps in a museum somewhere there are some retired London General B types that could be brought back into service. They were last used as troop transport in WW1, so probably not much worse for wear.


----------



## Dan U (Jul 18, 2016)

Sinkhole at Forest Hill.

Literally the last thing Southern and their commuters need right now

Commuter chaos this evening as 50ft sinkhole opens near track


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 18, 2016)

Dan U said:


> Sinkhole at Forest Hill...


 
"...our engineers are looking in to it"


----------



## Dan U (Jul 18, 2016)




----------



## Bungle73 (Jul 18, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> "...our engineers are looking in to it"


Funnily enough, they used exactly that wording on the report about on the BBC London Facebook page. I'm not sure if the author realised what they were writing when they wrote it.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 19, 2016)

I wonder what will go wrong on the rail network  today as it is forecast to be a tad warm? Melting rails is my guess.  

I have several hours of travelling to look forward to today...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 19, 2016)

Why do people insist on making so much noise on the train? Twats.


----------



## nuffsaid (Jul 19, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I wonder what will go wrong on the rail network  today as it is forecast to be a tad warm? Melting rails is my guess.



And lo it came to pass...

‘The tracks are MELTING’ Outrage as commuter trains delayed by summer sunshine


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jul 19, 2016)

I'm so glad I'm not working at the moment. I don't think I could bare the shit southern service paired with this heat.


----------



## High Voltage (Jul 19, 2016)

Not exactly a commute home, but coming back from a customer visit I (foolishly) decided to pop into Gordano services to pick up a sandwich

2 hours later and I finally managed to get out of the grid-locked service station

NEVER AGAIN

And my work was less than 1 mile away


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 19, 2016)

Bucked rails (not melting rails FFS) - can be  very , very serious ..


Report on the Derailment that occurred on 28th July 1975 between Sarnau and St. Clears in the Western Region British Railways :: The Railways Archive (

train went over buckled rails at about 60 mph - and derailed) 

Now this one happened in South West Wales in the 1970's , I have personal experience of being a very committed and hands on Operations Manager - where one horribly hot evening at South Tottenham on the Gospel Oak - Barking line ,(travelling out cause I knew we would have problems in that heat - partly crap old DMU trains and partly to support the hard worked traincrew in that heat) - as we ran into the station - the track just popped and flexed  in front of us into an S- Bend. Had a great driver - and we thought as it was still "in gauge" - we cold get over it , which we did at about 2 mph with me on the ground ready to stop the move ! - we did and called out the PW gang from the box , who watered it , cooled it down and flexed it back into shape. We got people home that evening .....though I suspect they did not realise it ..


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jul 19, 2016)

Managed to get home before the Central line got delayed thank god, it was still almost unbearable. 

Tomorrow will be even worse. 

Urgh.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 20, 2016)

Fingers crossed train aircon works properly today.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 20, 2016)

davesgcr said:


> Bucked rails (not melting rails FFS)



Melty rails does sound more interesting though. Trains gliding over pools of liquid metal, like hovercraft.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 20, 2016)

Signal failure south of Stafford with diversions in place. Better be fixed by home time.


----------



## nuffsaid (Jul 21, 2016)

People getting angry at a 'meet-the-manager' event with Southern Rail - Commuter hauled off by police for shouting at Southern Rail boss


----------



## SikhWarrioR (Jul 21, 2016)

Apparently john major got his knighthood for Railway privatization wonder 20 years on does he still think the way john major carried out Railway privatization was the right way to go about Railway privatization


----------



## NoXion (Jul 21, 2016)

I'm getting really fucking tired of the 07:44 to Reading being fucking late pretty much EVERY FUCKING DAY. Today it was over FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES LATE. Fuck you "Great" Western Railway, fuck you sideways with a fucking railroad spike!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 25, 2016)

Why do they say 'xx:xx service is delayed' and leave it at that, with no additional clue as to what is going on? Bastards.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 25, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Why do they say 'xx:xx service is delayed' and leave it at that, with no additional clue as to what is going on? Bastards.


usually because they haven't got any clue either.

it's largely an automated system.  if train leaves previous station 10 minutes late, its fair to assume it will be about 10 minutes late at the next one.

if a train just stops, or fails to leave its first station on time, the system has no way of knowing if it will move in a minute, or whether there has been a monumental balls up that means it won't move for an hour.

the 'finding out what the heck is going on then getting info out there' phase takes a bit longer.

whether there are enough staff to get involved when it all hits the fan, to deal with the problem and get info out there, is another question...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 25, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> usually because they haven't got any clue either.
> 
> it's largely an automated system.  if train leaves previous station 10 minutes late, its fair to assume it will be about 10 minutes late at the next one.
> 
> ...



I don't want to hear your logical explanation.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 25, 2016)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 25, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Why do they say 'xx:xx service is delayed' and leave it at that, with no additional clue as to what is going on? Bastards.




It's cos they are scum who hate you. That and privitisation.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 25, 2016)




----------



## Artaxerxes (Jul 25, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It's cos they are scum who hate you. That and privitisation.



Fucking hedges!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 29, 2016)

Why are noisy, screechy and annoying children allowed on peak trains. The least they could do is use duck tape to shut them up.


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 29, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Why are noisy, screechy and annoying children allowed on peak trains. The least they could do is use duck tape to shut them up.



Just think , they only paid £2 as well.

My sympathies , been there too often.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 29, 2016)

davesgcr said:


> Just think , they only paid £2 as well.
> 
> My sympathies , been there too often.



I think an ideal solution is one of those cattle wagons that could be towed behind the train.  They have slats so plenty of fresh air, and the screeching brats could make as much noise as they like.  

This week has seen a huge increase in the number of kids travelling at peak for some reason, but one thing was quite nice this evening - a woman reading a story to the two kids she had with her.  Quite nice to listen to too - she was doing the proper story-telling inflections and the lot.


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 29, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I think an ideal solution is one of those cattle wagons that could be towed behind the train.  They have slats so plenty of fresh air, and the screeching brats could make as much noise as they like.
> 
> This week has seen a huge increase in the number of kids travelling at peak for some reason, but one thing was quite nice this evening - a woman reading a story to the two kids she had with her.  Quite nice to listen to too - she was doing the proper story-telling inflections and the lot.



Being a father of 3 - and obviously taken them on the trains often on invigorating end educational days out - I recall one glorious occasion when no 1 boy had been superbly behaved on a peak train - I sat and read to him and pointed out interesting features etc to the tacit approval of the Celia Johnson type character opposite - no 1 then carefully blew his nose and asked "Celia" if she would like his bogie ..I nearly died of shame - but she (ever so kindly and graciously opened up her handbag - produced a pristine lavender scented hankerchief - and said "Thank you young  man"....) - to this day I salute this woman......


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 29, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> This week has seen a huge increase in the number of kids travelling at peak for some reason, but one thing was quite nice this evening - a woman reading a story to the two kids she had with her.  Quite nice to listen to too - she was doing the proper story-telling inflections and the lot.




It's summer holidays , that's why there's more kids about. Why they scream when they see you is another matter


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 29, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It's summer holidays , that's why there's more kids about. Why they scream when they see you is another matter



They scream because they're obnoxious little shits who should be sent to work down the mines.


----------



## SikhWarrioR (Jul 30, 2016)

Maybe the problems affecting today's railway could all down to the wrong kind of Fat Cats on the line ?? as opposed to the wrong kind of snow/leaves/floods etc


----------



## Me76 (Aug 1, 2016)

Got my first response to a delay repay claim from Southern today. I must say it is one of the more satisfying vouchers from £3.60 I have received in my life.  

It's for one of the sets of claims from the second week which makes me wonder about their system, but looking forward to getting more and paying for my next ticket with the vouchers.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 1, 2016)

Me76 said:


> Got my first response to a delay repay claim from Southern today. I must say it is one of the more satisfying vouchers from £3.60 I have received in my life.
> 
> It's for one of the sets of claims from the second week which makes me wonder about their system, but looking forward to getting more and paying for my next ticket with the vouchers.




I thought you could now demand to be paid in cash?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 1, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I thought you could now demand to be paid in cash?



I always ask for a cheque these days - otherwise I chuck the voucher in a drawer and only find it once it's expired.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 1, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I always ask for a cheque these days - otherwise I chuck the voucher in a drawer and only find it once it's expired.



Where do you chuck yer cheques?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 1, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Where do you chuck yer cheques?



In the bank, of course. Vouchers are useless if you have a season ticket, as the last thing you want to do is set foot on a train after commuting every day.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 1, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> In the bank, of course. Vouchers are useless if you have a season ticket, as the last thing you want to do is set foot on a train after commuting every day.



You can normally travel with the season ticket anyway. 

The only time I got sorted SWT gave me £20 in cold, hard cash. Was spunked by lunchtime.


----------



## kabbes (Aug 2, 2016)

Terminating my train half way through its journey this morning.  Thanks, Southwest trains!


----------



## nuffsaid (Aug 3, 2016)

Southern Rail staff looking to strike next week. As if the emergency timetable wasn't enough of an ongoing industrial dispute...


----------



## Lucy Fur (Aug 3, 2016)

At Modern Toss they saw the future!


----------



## davesgcr (Aug 4, 2016)

Another hole has appeared in Forest Hill , ......not the same one re-opened by all accounts. Is there any coal down there I wonder ..?


----------



## izz (Aug 5, 2016)

Would normally take 1 hour 15 - I hour 30 to get home on Fridays. Left at 11:50, just got in.

#grumpyboots


----------



## Me76 (Aug 5, 2016)

Just bought my ticket for next week with a load of vouchers (£16.80). The lady behind the counter was commending me on doing it.  She says she encourages everyone to but most can't be bothered. 

I realise there is a strike next week but if I have my ticket then I can still get on the tubes and buses for cheaper so it has to be done.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 8, 2016)

Good luck to all you poor sods who have to use Southern services this week.  Looks like it will be horrendous.


----------



## Me76 (Aug 9, 2016)

So hot to London Bridge today and heard an announcement for the 17.50 to Tulse Hill that hasn't existed on the emergency timetable. The 18.08 was up on the board too and that hasn't been there in these 'emergency' times.  

Did a search for tomorrow's trains and they still aren't showing.  

What's occurring?


----------



## tommers (Aug 9, 2016)

First train got cancelled.  Replacement was late enough that the one after came first. 

Got on a tube.  Driver told us to cross over the platform and use the other train. 

Then calmly closed the doors with the three remaining people on his train and carried on his merry way. 

You've got to laugh or else you'll just start lashing out blindly.


----------



## nuffsaid (Aug 10, 2016)

We’re Hiring : Toss Management at Southern Rail

'
*Are you world class at not giving a toss about customers ?*

Southern Rail is a leader in the avoidance of toss giving and we are looking to lead our team of indifference solutions into the 20th century. You will innovate new ways of not giving a toss about customers and gain new skills in disruptive failure to deliver a service so wretched that customers can't see the difference between malice and incompetence....'

Tossers...


----------



## Bungle73 (Aug 10, 2016)

The Southern strike has been called off.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> The Southern strike has been called off.



How would their passengers notice?


----------



## stdP (Aug 10, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> How would their passengers notice?



“I thought I might as well come to the station anyway, as the arrival of trains seems to be determined more by the cosmic forces of fate than any sort of timetable. At least if one doesn’t come I know there’s an actual reason. It’s the not knowing that kills you.”

Train strike leaves commuters with roughly the same chance of getting to work


----------



## nuffsaid (Aug 18, 2016)

Just to add insult to injury Southern Rail trains are now attacking passengers:

Train ceiling panel falls on London-bound passengers - BBC News


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 18, 2016)

nuffsaid said:


> Just to add insult to injury Southern Rail trains are now attacking passengers:
> 
> Train ceiling panel falls on London-bound passengers - BBC News





> Katie Burkes, 28, said she suffered bruising and *whiplash* when the panel fell on to her shoulder. Southern said no injuries were reported.





 www. slatergordon .co.uk


----------



## nuffsaid (Aug 23, 2016)

New Southern Rail strike to take place - Sept 7th and 8th.


----------



## plurker (Aug 23, 2016)

nuffsaid said:


> New Southern Rail strike to take place - Sept 7th and 8th.


Incentive for my broken toes to improve enough that I can cycle in. Trains are shit


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 2, 2016)

Southern rail owner reports profits of nearly £100m

'Insert ironic laughing emoji'

Live reaction to this obscenity here - 'The service is completely useless': commuters react to Southern rail profit hike - live


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 2, 2016)

nuffsaid said:


> Southern rail owner reports profits of nearly £100m
> 
> 'Insert ironic laughing emoji'
> 
> Live reaction to this obscenity here - 'The service is completely useless': commuters react to Southern rail profit hike - live


The parent company's profit comes from their bus operations and Southeastern and LM. As it says in the article GTR is making a loss, and is expected to do so for the next couple of years.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 2, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> The parent company's profit comes from their bus operations and Southeastern and LM. As it says in the article GTR is making a loss, and is expected to do so for the next couple of years.



And Apple only sell their toot in Ireland


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 2, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> And Apple only sell their toot in Ireland


Apart from the "Oh isn't this terrible" thing, exactly what difference does that actually make to the current goings on at Southern? It's not really a money issue. It's a staff deployment dispute and infrastructure (which is nothing to do with GTR) problem issue.

And in any case the revenue made by Southern goes to the DfT, which the deal they are running the service under.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 2, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Apart from the "Oh isn't this terrible" thing, exactly what difference does that actually make to the current goings on at Southern? It's not really a money issue. It's a staff deployment dispute and infrastructure (which is nothing to do with GTR) problem issue.
> 
> And in any case the revenue made by Southern goes to the DfT, which the deal they are running the service under.




If you'd lost your job cos of their incompetence you may be singing a different tune. 

They have taken on the job, they can't do it, they should be stripped of all assests and put in the stocks, forever.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 2, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> If you'd lost your job cos of their incompetence you may be singing a different tune.
> 
> They have taken on the job, they can't do it, they should be stripped of all assests and put in the stocks, forever.


Except that up until a few years ago they were doing the job just fine. Until the problems at London Bridge....nothing to do with them....and the staffing dispute, which was initiated by the policy of the DfT. 

The whole "strip them of their franchise" thing is a complete red herring because any company that took over would be facing exactly the same problems that Southern are having. And who would want to run that franchise atm anyway? No one!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 2, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Except that up until a few years ago they were doing the job just fine. Until the problems at London Bridge....nothing to do with them....and the staffing dispute, which was initiated by the policy of the DfT.
> 
> The whole "strip them of their franchise" thing is a complete red herring because any company that took over would be facing exactly the same problems that Southern are having. And who would want to run that franchise atm anyway? No one!




This blaming the DfT is such a crock of shit spoon fed to idiots looking to appease the money grabbing scumbags. IF it was a genuine DfT initiative, a professional operator would have told them to get fucked, foreseeing the problems that would be caused.


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 2, 2016)

I did read that at the last discussions around the table Southern offered union members guarantees that up to the end of the current franchise there would be no loss of conductor staff while drivers were asked to close the doors, and there'd be no reduction in pay or overtime - basically saying, your job and pay is guaranteed up to the end of the franchise. If true then I'm blaming the unions for striking as I really can't see what more the company can offer.

But at the same time if the company have made £100m (even if it's on the buses, it's the same company) they should fucking well invest it in all sorts of areas lacking at the moment . Maybe give incentives for staff to return to work.

Either way Govia needs stripping of the franchise and told to fuck off based on their mis-management of the whole issue, let alone the appaling sevice.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 2, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> This blaming the DfT is such a crock of shit spoon fed to idiots looking to appease the money grabbing scumbags. IF it was a genuine DfT initiative, a professional operator would have told them to get fucked, foreseeing the problems that would be caused.


And how would they have done that exactly? It is a franchise stipulation. TOCs have to run their franchises under the terms laid down by the DfT.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 2, 2016)

nuffsaid said:


> I did read that at the last discussions around the table Southern offered union members guarantees that up to the end of the current franchise there would be no loss of conductor staff while drivers were asked to close the doors, and there'd be no reduction in pay or overtime - basically saying, your job and pay is guaranteed up to the end of the franchise. If true then I'm blaming the unions for striking as I really can't see what more the company can offer.
> 
> But at the same time if the company have made £100m (even if it's on the buses, it's the same company) they should fucking well invest it in all sorts of areas lacking at the moment . Maybe give incentives for staff to return to work.
> 
> Either way Govia needs stripping of the franchise and told to fuck off based on their mis-management of the whole issue, let alone the appaling sevice.


The union's argument is that the change in role GTR want to introduce is just not safe - that's the reason for the strikes. Whether that is true or not depends on who you want to believe.

And invest in which areas though? The £20 million figure that is going around atm isn't going to them (despite what is being claimed by headlines in the media), it's going to Network Rail. The vast majority is being spend on infrastructure.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 2, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> And how would they have done that exactly? It is a franchise stipulation. TOCs have to run their franchises under the terms laid down by the DfT.



They would have said, "We're professionals and what you're proposing will cause problems and as we're a professional TOC and not vacuous, money-grabbing scumbags, we will not take up the franchise under these terms."


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 2, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> The union's argument is that the change in role GTR want to introduce is just not safe - that's the reason for the strikes. Whether that is true or not depends on who you want to believe.
> 
> And invest in which areas though? The £20 million figure that is going around atm isn't going to them (despite what is being claimed by headlines in the media), it's going to Network Rail. The vast majority is being spend on infrastructure.



You need someone going up and down the train I absolutely agree, but you don't necessarily need them to close the doors. You'd need station staff at busy stations for this I reckon, which is the majority at rush hour for sure. But ultimately technology will automate the whole thing. Technology will march on. They can keep striking up to then but then there'll be no job to strike from.

But the key point is the company are fuckers.


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 2, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> And invest in which areas though? The £20 million figure that is going around atm isn't going to them (despite what is being claimed by headlines in the media), it's going to Network Rail. The vast majority is being spend on infrastructure.



Well it is the infrastructure that needs the investment, signals, points, track etc. How many times do delays get blamed on these things. No way should they be pocketing £100m.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 2, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> They would have said, "We're professionals and what you're proposing will cause problems and as we're a professional TOC and not vacuous, money-grabbing scumbags, we will not take up the franchise under these terms."


You really think that was a realistic proposition? The DfT would have just given the franchise to someone else, and that someone would be facing the same problems GTR are.

It may be a privatised railway, but what goes on is pretty mostly still dictated by the government.



nuffsaid said:


> Well it is the infrastructure that needs the investment, signals, points, track etc. How many times do delays get blamed on these things. No way should they be pocketing £100m.


Infrastructure is nothing to do with GTR. And as I said, the £100m comes from the parent company's other operations. Some of that £100m is presumably being used to subsidise the loss-making GTR.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 2, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> You really think that was a realistic proposition? The DfT would have just given the franchise to someone else, and that someone would be facing the same problems GTR are.
> 
> It may be a privatised railway, but what goes on is pretty mostly still dictated by the government.



No serious company should touch it if it can not work, the DfT would not have anyone to award it to and would have to amend their plans.


----------



## Me76 (Sep 2, 2016)

I had a train host on my train this morning.  Never had one of those before.  She was annoying, kept making announcements that she was there while I was trying to doze.  

But if it's the redistribution of other jobs I'm fine with it.  

I know someone whose station staff and his job is in danger.  That concerns me more, but only cos it affects me directly.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 2, 2016)

Me76 said:


> I had a train host on my train this morning.  Never had one of those before.  She was annoying, kept making announcements that she was there while I was trying to doze.
> 
> But if it's the redistribution of other jobs I'm fine with it.
> 
> I know someone whose station staff and his job is in danger.  That concerns me more, but only cos it affects me directly.



Not heard of a 'train host' but the idea sounds awful and demeaning.

But nothing is more annoying on the rail network than the infuriating hologram woman they installed in stations a while back



They seem to have disappeared for now, but I always wanted to kick the fucking machine down the escalators.  And when did we start saying 'elevators'?


----------



## Me76 (Sep 6, 2016)

Second day of the southern timetable being put back in place - early train cancelled


----------



## stdP (Sep 6, 2016)

My newly reinstated Southern services actually turned up on time so I was able to get my extra half hour in bed. Train was practically deserted as I don't think everyone's got the message yet.

Shouldn't have bothered though - being back on the 9-5's meant that the thameslink was about as much fun as being the rugby ball in a scrum during the middle of an eruption of a sweat volcano. On the upside I ran into Crispy who I've not seen in yonks which helped calm my impotent fury.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 6, 2016)

stdP said:


> My newly reinstated Southern services actually turned up on time so I was able to get my extra half hour in bed. Train was practically deserted as I don't think everyone's got the message yet.
> 
> Shouldn't have bothered though - being back on the 9-5's meant that the thameslink was about as much fun as being the rugby ball in a scrum during the middle of an eruption of a sweat volcano. On the upside I ran into Crispy who I've not seen in yonks which helped calm my impotent fury.




Crispy cures impotency


----------



## stdP (Sep 6, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Crispy cures impotency



Thinking about it, probably the last thing I needed on a crowded train


----------



## Artaxerxes (Sep 8, 2016)

Epic trip today, delays on the Central first knocked out trains from Epping so had to wait around for about 30 minutes or so, then as we hit Leytonstone someone tripped an alarm at Tottenham Court Road so massive delays from then on. 

Finally got kicked off the train at Liverpool Street and had to walk the rest of the way to the office.

In to work at 10am, my normal time is about 8:30.


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 8, 2016)




----------



## Miss-Shelf (Sep 9, 2016)

Bloody hell! Got on a Southern train on time today 

I realise how much stress Southern  disruption has  been causing. Never knowing how my journey to work and back is going to go makes everything uncertain.


----------



## magneze (Sep 9, 2016)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Bloody hell! Got on a Southern train on time today
> 
> I realise how much stress Southern  disruption has  been causing. Never knowing how my journey to work and back is going to go makes everything uncertain.


24 hours late probably.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 9, 2016)

Worked from home Weds-Thurs blaming Southern.  Did epic skiving.  Cheers, strikers!


----------



## stdP (Sep 9, 2016)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Bloody hell! Got on a Southern train on time today



In the never-ending frisson of uncertainty that constitutes life in this universe, it seems I lost the karmic battle today and was kicking my heels on the platform for 40mins for a train that was perpetually one minute away. So I can be assured of god speed, on monday morning I will throttle a goat and turn around thrice widdershins with my season ticket in the centre of the pentagram and try to summon the Train God to guard over my journey.

At Tulse Hill this morning there were a bunch of pamphlets from Helen Hayes (MP for dulwich and we'no' for those who weren't aware) seeking input from her constituents as to whether the powers that be at Southern are a) incompetent cunts, b) cunting incompetents or c) all of the above. Linked to this survey: Dulwich and West Norwood Labour Party Southern Rail survey

The bar/pub/alcohol-serving establishment opposite my station has been doing a roaring trade from pissed-off Southern customers in the evening. Maybe they should open for breakfast too...


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 9, 2016)

Train back up to Leeds on Wednesday night diverted due to problems with the wiring between Retford and Doncaster, half hour delay but went via some single track freight curve west of Lincoln with my head out of the window, old school style. The old HSTs still have some benefit, although I was slightly jealous of a couple of southbound services we passed which were being dragged by diesel.


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 13, 2016)

Was stuck behind a peloton of cyclists for 5miles... wtf! Motorcycle outriders stopped the traffic at one roundabout where I was 5 cars behind and a peloton of about 30 cyclists went round and off the junction I use, there was even a French police van at the rear with flashing orange lights. The 5 mile stretch it then proceeded to crawl along at 20mph is a regular A road. No overtaking possible as heavy passing traffic. They have to do this at rush our?...really!


----------



## kabbes (Sep 13, 2016)

Yet another day where we were thrown off the train at one of its intermediate stops this morning, then the next train to Waterloo was cancelled with an announcement that said they didn't know when Waterloo services would resume again.

Thanks, SouthWest trains!  You're just the bestest!


----------



## steveo87 (Sep 13, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Not heard of a 'train host' but the idea sounds awful and demeaning.
> 
> But nothing is more annoying on the rail network than the infuriating hologram woman they installed in stations a while back
> 
> ...



Give it six months and she'll be referring to you by name. Or worse, your National Insurance Number...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 15, 2016)

kabbes' favourites hedging their bets...

Weather alert- Thursday 15 and Friday 16 September

Dear South West Trains customer, 

Our Met Desk has issued a weather alert on Thursday 15 and the morning of Friday 16 September. Hot temperatures and storms are forecast.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 15, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> kabbes' favourites hedging their bets...
> 
> Weather alert- Thursday 15 and Friday 16 September
> 
> ...


I hate them so much.


----------



## Bungle73 (Sep 15, 2016)

SWT aren't in charge of the weather.


----------



## kabbes (Sep 15, 2016)

I hate you so much too.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 15, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> SWT aren't in charge of the weather.



Fucking weather


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 22, 2016)

You muthaf**kers!

Southern passengers face more disruption as RMT plans 14 days of strikes


----------



## NoXion (Sep 26, 2016)

Currently on a train to Maidenhead. Won't be stopping at Burnham as it usually does. Will have to take the train back to get there. Apparently this is because of overhead wire problems. Fuck you CrossRail!


----------



## NoXion (Sep 26, 2016)

Train is also going slower than usual. Fantastic.


----------



## OzT (Sep 26, 2016)

I love trains, everything about them.

that's all


----------



## magneze (Sep 27, 2016)

South West trains fucked completely. Signalling problem at Wimbledon. Been stationary for 15 mins already.


----------



## magneze (Sep 27, 2016)

Still fucked. Send beer and pizza.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 27, 2016)

magneze said:


> South West trains fucked completely. Signalling problem at Wimbledon. Been stationary for 15 mins already.





Bungle73 said:


> SWT aren't in charge of the weather.


----------



## OzT (Sep 28, 2016)

fifteen minutes is nothing! Was stuck at Waterloo for 45 minutes trying to get home afte a night out, in the end had to jump on the first train out going in the general direction then get a bus.

Still love trains though


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 28, 2016)

i managed to escape just before the shit hit the fan yesterday.


----------



## magneze (Sep 28, 2016)

OzT said:


> fifteen minutes is nothing! Was stuck at Waterloo for 45 minutes trying to get home afte a night out, in the end had to jump on the first train out going in the general direction then get a bus.
> 
> Still love trains though


I was stuck on a train for about an hour between stations.

Glad I went to the toilet before I left.


----------



## OzT (Sep 28, 2016)

At Waterloo I had to make the decision of going to the toiliet and maybe miss a train boarding, or holding on. I made the dash to the loo, get back and managed to see a train boarding and got out. Phew I was relived!!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 28, 2016)

OzT said:


> At Waterloo I had to make the decision of going to the toiliet and maybe miss a train boarding, or holding on. I made the dash to the loo, get back and managed to see a train boarding and got out. Phew I was relived!!




Doubly relieved.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 28, 2016)

*THE train is your house on rails where you can do whatever you like, according to many passengers.*

Customers think trains are their own private property where they are free to do things like eating kebabs, arguing with relatives and watching Netflix with the sound up.


Builder Norman Steele said: “I like to take my boots off and put my sweaty feet up on the table. It’s like being at home but without my wife complaining about the stench.

“Since I temporarily own my part of the train I’m also allowed to leave chocolate wrappers on the seats and to do a massive shit in the toilet without flushing it.

“On my next journey I’m taking it to the next level and sprawling out in just my pants watching football on my phone.”

Mum-of-two Emma Bradford said: “It’s good that trains become your house because I’d hate it if my kids had to stop playing with their bleepy electronic learning toys on long journeys.

“Being ‘at home’ also means I can talk loudly to my friends about things like my recurring yeast infection without feeling in the least bit self-conscious.”


----------



## kabbes (Sep 28, 2016)

I was flying to Bermuda yesterday so missed SW Trains hell.  This morning my commute was a five minute ferry ride over the Puget Sound.  What hell.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Sep 28, 2016)

Hope it sinks on your return journey


----------



## Dan U (Sep 28, 2016)

Take a look at @SouthernRailUK's Tweet:


----------



## kabbes (Sep 29, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Hope it sinks on your return journey


It stops at 8, so we had to take a taxi back.  Maybe it'll sink this morning though?


----------



## kabbes (Sep 29, 2016)

Flight back is in chaos because of tropical storm Matthew.  Planes in the wrong airports.  So we have a smaller plane with no first class and no world traveller plus. Lots of very, very pissed off rich people with a gob on moaning at islanders that DNGAF.  The tiny Bermuda airport cannot cope plus their computer has gone on the fritz.

Come back SW Trains, all is forgiven.


----------



## pogofish (Oct 2, 2016)

How would you like to be stuck behind this in the morning?







Although part of me does hope he gets very regular runs to England!


----------



## tommers (Oct 2, 2016)

What a bellend.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 2, 2016)

Nothing says Scottish Freedom like a racist, anti-Semite American


----------



## nuffsaid (Oct 3, 2016)

Southern rail says it will sack conductors unless deal over role is reached

things coming to a head...


----------



## dessiato (Oct 3, 2016)

My commute this afternoon was ruined by the sun. It was too bright and too hot to make the five minute walk comfortable.


----------



## pogofish (Oct 3, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Nothing says Scottish Freedom like a racist, anti-Semite American



I'm not even going to dare show my front and side shots of the truck!  

IIRC Gibson was originally Australian? - although I think he did get US citizenship eventually.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2016)

Filthy little disease vectors (sorry, children) on the train, coughing everywhere. They shouldn't be allowed on public transport unless wrapped in clingfilm to stop them spreading germs.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 3, 2016)

pogofish said:


> I'm not even going to dare show my front and side shots of the truck!
> 
> IIRC Gibson was originally Australian? - although I think he did get US citizenship eventually.



I thought he was Aussie too, wiki'd him and it said yank and was too meh to look in to it further tbh.


----------



## pogofish (Oct 3, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I thought he was Aussie too, wiki'd him and it said yank and was too meh to look in to it further tbh.



Just checked and you are right.  He was born in the US but moved to Australia as a child - then came back.


----------



## tommers (Oct 3, 2016)

Well,  I learned something today.  I thought he was aussie too.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 3, 2016)

Everyday's a school-day on urban


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Oct 4, 2016)

Did southern get better only to get worse again? Yesterday then today my trains have been delayed delayed delayed.   Where they are just sitting for ages outside stations wuth no explanation.  It's so stressful


----------



## kabbes (Oct 4, 2016)

Southern's pitiful attempt to win hearts and minds with adverts in the Metro is just tragic.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 4, 2016)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Did southern get better only to get worse again? Yesterday then today my trains have been delayed delayed delayed.   Where they are just sitting for ages outside stations wuth no explanation.  It's so stressful




Rather than fix their problems the management has decided the thing to do is try to shame the RMT by invoking ire from their customers...

 



How did that go for them I hear you ask?


----------



## kabbes (Oct 4, 2016)

Oh, just fuck you SW Trains


----------



## magneze (Oct 4, 2016)

Day off today


----------



## kabbes (Oct 5, 2016)

Of course, heaven forbid the fuckers refrain from closing the train doors more than 30 seconds early when starting off.  Never less than 8 minutes late at the destination, but fuck those who want to get on the train 30 seconds before its scheduled departure time.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 5, 2016)

the leaves on the line today still have the rest of the tree attached


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 5, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> the leaves on the line today still have the rest of the tree attached


I feel sorry for the poor tree.


----------



## davesgcr (Oct 5, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I feel sorry for the poor tree.



2 Southeastern trains near Lewisham got entanged in buddleia trunks ! (technically to me , a large weed !) , few other incidents with trees elsewhere - spectacularly  near Glasgow where some tree surgeons felled a tree onto the overheads (over a 100 cancellations accordingly) , note one down this am near Wokingham.  Ongoing problem .......


----------



## discobastard (Oct 7, 2016)

Here we have the result of compensation claimed for Southern's months and months of randomly cancelled trains and reduced timetable.  

Having taken considerable time to input the specific journeys that they had cancelled, as you are only allowed to claim for journeys made in the last 28 days and only able to input up to four individual journeys at a time, I received the following today (based on a travelcard that costs me £146 a month and for which I suffered at least three months of being fucked about).

£22.80 in rail vouchers.  In four separate letters.  WELL DONE EVERYBODY.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 7, 2016)

Why do people insist on talking inane shit on the train at this time of day?


----------



## nuffsaid (Oct 7, 2016)

Crunch time at Southern Rail - It said it would deliver 12 weeks' notice to conductors on Friday, terminating their contracts from 31 December, and they would be offered new contracts as on-board supervisors to start on 1 January.

Someone at work mentioned striking is illegal when working your notice, but of course the drivers can still strike against the change in their role.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 14, 2016)

Turned up at Dorking station this morning to discover there are no trains running at all.  Completely zip.

This train service, eh?


----------



## nuffsaid (Nov 3, 2016)

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to you all -from Southern Fail - fuck-numpties:

Southern rail workers to strike over Christmas and new year


----------



## StoneRoad (Nov 3, 2016)

Back to roads.
They are re-surfacing the main road through Penrhyndeudreath - Gywnedd, North Wales (A487).
It says to expect (severe) delays, as they are using the 10mph convoy system. Fair enough, as it goes.
But they haven't got the balance right - letting far too many vehicles through before changing direction. Which means almost non-moving tailbacks of several miles - in both the main directions, and some very irate people ( Yesterday, someone got out of their car - stopping in the convoy itself - to verbally abuse some of the workers. No matter how p155ed off you are, that is NOT acceptable ...) 
But I'm very glad that they haven't encouraged using the back lanes, us holders of local knowledge can steal around, and bypass the delay a bit.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Nov 4, 2016)

nuffsaid said:


> Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to you all -from Southern Fail - fuck-numpties:
> 
> Southern rail workers to strike over Christmas and new year




I don't think anyone will notice at this point.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 8, 2016)

How did SWT get on yesterday...

*Events which affected services included*


Electrical supply problem at Whitton London.
Signalling failure at Queenstown Road
Signalling failure at Feltham
Broken down train at Godalming
Ill Passenger at Wimbledon
Swan on the line at Staines:
Poor railhead conditions at Clandon, Winchester, Brookwood, Kempton Park, Whitchurch, Chandlers Ford and Romsey
Signalling problem at Twickenham
Tree on the line at Havant
Operating safety incident at Cranbrook
Signalling failure at Clapham Junction
Broken down train at Hounslow
Signalling failure at Staines


----------



## kabbes (Nov 8, 2016)

These multitude of signalling failures are not just acts of God against which we are helpless.  Someone somewhere is not investing in infrastructure.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 8, 2016)

kabbes said:


> These multitude of signalling failures are not just acts of God against which we are helpless.  Someone somewhere is not investing in infrastructure.



Same goes for the two broken down trains...


----------



## kabbes (Nov 8, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Same goes for the two broken down trains...


Yeah, x2


----------



## Me76 (Nov 9, 2016)

I see Southern have changed their delay reply form.  Previously if a train was cancelled, that was it, submit the claim and get money.  

Now they ask for further details and state:


> If the train you intended to catch was cancelled, we will check the next available train you could have taken unless you provide further information



This suggests to me they will actually be checking whether you could get another train within 30 minutes and so not pay the claim.  They have got wise!!!


----------



## sim667 (Nov 10, 2016)

kabbes said:


> Turned up at Dorking station this morning to discover there are no trains running at all.  Completely zip.
> 
> This train service, eh?



Do you live in Dorking?

We may have had this conversation before and I've completely forgotten.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 10, 2016)

sim667 said:


> Do you live in Dorking?
> 
> We may have had this conversation before and I've completely forgotten.


Nearby village.  I commute from Dorking.


----------



## Teaboy (Nov 11, 2016)

I wonder if whoever designed the SWT random excuse generator ever envisaged swan on the line.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 11, 2016)

4 carriage train this morning.  All seats taken before it even left its starting station.  "We're sorry about the short train, but we had an equipment breakdown".  Oh, that's okay then.  You couldn't foresee that you would have equipment breakdowns, obviously.  If only there were some way of avoiding such things, eh?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 11, 2016)

kabbes said:


> 4 carriage train this morning.  All seats taken before it even left its starting station.  "We're sorry about the short train, but we had an equipment breakdown".  Oh, that's okay then.  You couldn't foresee that you would have equipment breakdowns, obviously.  If only there were some way of avoiding such things, eh?



Maintenance you say? Surely that would cost money, old boy?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 11, 2016)

Teaboy said:


> I wonder if whoever designed the SWT random excuse generator ever envisaged swan on the line.



Oddly enough I think they may have added swan-on-line to their list when they painted Staines railway bridge yellow to make it more visible to swans...


----------



## Artaxerxes (Nov 11, 2016)

I like Southerns new advert


----------



## Me76 (Nov 11, 2016)

Did anyone see Panorama?

Panorama, The Trouble with Our Trains


----------



## Virtual Blue (Nov 11, 2016)

Is the Southwestern fixed yet? Two days in a row now of utter shit.


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 11, 2016)

Thameslink north is still not fixed service wise after a melted signalling relay room at Luton on Tuesday afternoon.....three and a half days of carnage and grief.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 11, 2016)

Virtual Blue said:


> Is the Southwestern fixed yet? Two days in a row now of utter shit.



Well, it's certainly still doing this:


kabbes said:


> 4 carriage train this morning.  All seats taken before it even left its starting station.  "We're sorry about the short train, but we had an equipment breakdown".  Oh, that's okay then.  You couldn't foresee that you would have equipment breakdowns, obviously.  If only there were some way of avoiding such things, eh?


----------



## Virtual Blue (Nov 11, 2016)

kabbes said:


> Well, it's certainly still doing this:



4 carriage hell and I always go on the end carriage too.

No fucking warning on the TFL website either!
I checked and all 4 trains were cancelled this morning.

Tube to Brixton it is then (and bus on the A23 hell)


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 16, 2016)

Teaboy said:


> I wonder if whoever designed the SWT random excuse generator ever envisaged swan on the line.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 16, 2016)

Bunch of fucking cretins on the train shouting and carrying on. What the fuck is wrong with some people.


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 16, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> View attachment 95584




My elder boy worked in Berlin - his boss came in an hour late ranting about a WW2 bomb which had shut the S-Bahn down - shouted at my boy and said it was his fault ! - son said only 50% chance of that as we had the night shift and the Yanks did the night shift. 

Next day - all normal again - German boss apologises to my son - and it was indeed an USA WW2 bomb.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 16, 2016)

"Southeastern services from Orpington delayed by trapped squirrel on train"

story here


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 16, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> "Southeastern services from Orpington delayed by trapped squirrel on train"
> 
> story here




'Pet' squirrel


----------



## Bungle73 (Nov 16, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> What the fuck is wrong with some people.


I ask myself the same question when someone posts a rolly eyes smiley under a quote about a  train services being disrupted due to a bomb.............


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> I ask myself the same question when someone posts a rolly eyes smiley under a quote about a  train services being disrupted due to a bomb.............




They could have waited until the trains had stopped running before fucking about with the bomb, it's been there 70 years, a few more hours wouldn't hurt


----------



## Bungle73 (Nov 16, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> They could have waited until the trains had stopped running before fucking about with the bomb, it's been there 70 years, a few more hours wouldn't hurt


Are you really that stupid? You are aren't you? Once a bomb has been disturbed and discovered it has to be dealt with straight away. You know these things have gone off and killed people in the past right....? Do really want to be on a train passing by when it does? Thought not. And let's just get one thing straight here: the exclusion zone wouldn't have been put in place by SWT, it would have been put in place by the RN.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Are you really that stupid? You are aren't you? Once a bomb has been disturbed and discovered it has to be dealt with straight away. You know these things have gone off and killed people in the past right....? Do really want to be on a train passing by when it does? Thought not. And let's just get one thing straight here: the exclusion zone wouldn't have been put in place by SWT, it would have been put in place by the RN.




The bomb's in the sea, the trains stop before the sea, so no trains would be "passing by".


----------



## Bungle73 (Nov 16, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> The bomb's in the sea, the trains stop before the sea, so no trains would be "passing by".


Portsmouth Harbour station is next to the sea.....the clue is in the name.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Portsmouth Harbour station is next to the sea.....the clue is in the name.



I know, it's at the end of my line, but not in the sea, so no trains pass by, that's boats what do that.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 16, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I know, it's at the end of my line, but not in the sea, so no trains pass by, that's boats what do that.



We need the input of twentythreedom here regarding the relative risks to trains vs boats from bombs in harbours.   

By the way Bungle73 - had a bad day?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 16, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 'Pet' squirrel



I bet it was Bungle73's pet squirrel.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 16, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I bet it was Bungle73's pet squirrel.


----------



## twentythreedom (Nov 16, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> We need the input of twentythreedom here regarding the relative risks to trains vs boats from bombs in harbours.
> 
> By the way Bungle73 - had a bad day?


The bomb is miles from the train station (I know I area well) - they haven't evacuated all the marinas etc so I don't know what the fuss is about. 

No doubt Bunghole73 will tell me


----------



## Bungle73 (Nov 16, 2016)

twentythreedom said:


> The bomb is miles from the train station (I know I area well) - they haven't evacuated all the marinas etc so I don't know what the fuss is about.
> 
> No doubt Bunghole73 will tell me


Yeah, I'm sure the MoD go around issuing evacuation orders because they have nothing better to do.........


----------



## Bungle73 (Nov 16, 2016)

And how could it be "miles", it was found in the habour. 

And if you knew the area as well as you say you do then you should know that towing it out to sea would take it right past, and very close to, the area where the station is.

You're just making yourself look very silly by exclaiming "I don't know what the fuss is about". Yeah, a 70-year-old potentially unstable 500lbs worth of high explosive in a highly populated area. What's the fuss about?


----------



## twentythreedom (Nov 17, 2016)

AND ANOTHER THING


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 17, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> And how could it be "miles", it was found in the habour.
> 
> And if you knew the area as well as you say you do then you should know that towing it out to sea would take it right past, and very close to, the area where the station is.
> 
> You're just making yourself look very silly by exclaiming "I don't know what the fuss is about". Yeah, a 70-year-old potentially unstable 500lbs worth of high explosive in a highly populated area. What's the fuss about?



Not many people live *in* the harbour I suspect, so the risk to the local landlubbers only stretches to getting a bit wet if the bomb explodes and makes a pretty water feauture in said harbour.  Nowt to worry about - the MoD are just drama queens, trying to justify all the money we spend on them.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 17, 2016)

Ever noticed how these bomb disposal wallahs are all 'experts'? Never get any amateurs, part timers or just average bomb disposal people. Bit elitist really.


----------



## Winot (Nov 17, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Ever noticed how these bomb disposal wallahs are all 'experts'? Never get any amateurs, part timers or just average bomb disposal people. Bit elitist really.



I think we've all had enough of 'experts'.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 17, 2016)

Winot said:


> I think we've all had enough of 'experts'.



We need to take our country back from these people and let the common man have a chance. I nominate Bungle to go first.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 17, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> 70-year-old potentially unstable 500lbs worth of high explosive


 


Winot said:


> I think we've all had enough of 'experts'.


 
now there's an idea.

can we get michael gove to go and deal with it, then?


----------



## Bungle73 (Nov 17, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Not many people live *in* the harbour I suspect, so the risk to the local landlubbers only stretches to getting a bit wet if the bomb explodes and makes a pretty water feauture in said harbour.  Nowt to worry about - the MoD are just drama queens, trying to justify all the money we spend on them.


You know what a habour is for, right? And you understand that bombs going off produce shrapnel, right? Shrapnel that can travel long distances. Why the fuck am I even having to explain this to you?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 17, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> You know what a habour is for, right? And you understand that bombs going off produce shrapnel, right? Shrapnel that can travel long distances. Why the fuck am I even having to explain this to you?



The bomb is underwater...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 17, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> You know what a habour is for, right? And you understand that bombs going off produce shrapnel, right? Shrapnel that can travel long distances. Why the fuck am I even having to explain this to you?


You're explaining it because you can't let it drop.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 17, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> The bomb is underwater...


I think Bungle73 thinks the bomb is located in a puddle on platform 3 of the harbour station - hence the entire county needs evacuating. 

As long as train passengers don't go swimming in the harbour while waiting for the train they'll be fine.


----------



## Lancman (Nov 17, 2016)

Quite probably somebody was asked to sign a piece of paper which said that moving the bomb was totally safe and presented no danger at all to either people or property, and declined.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 17, 2016)

Fucks sake. 

South to North on the route - 'poor rail conditions' (whatever that means), tree on the line and flooding. Wonder if I win a prize for three simultaneous reasons for delay?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 17, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Fucks sake.
> 
> South to North on the route - 'poor rail conditions' (whatever that means), tree on the line and flooding. Wonder if I win a prize for three simultaneous reasons for delay?



Was a pet squirrel involved?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 17, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Was a pet squirrel involved?


A fucking platoon of the little fluffy bastards. 

That Bungle73 should keep his bloody menagerie under control.  

Finally left the station a mere 38 minutes late. Train is rammed to fuck too - but I've turfed someone out of my reserved seat.  

If they keep up this shit performance at least I'll be able to claim for the delay. A single journey delay claim of 30-59 minutes is only worth a fiver, but better than nowt.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 17, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Finally left the station a mere 38 minutes late. Train is rammed to fuck too - but I've turfed someone out of my reserved seat.



We did this on the way to Cornwall, got on at Reading and two scummers were in our reserved seats. They scurried off to look for seats in another carriage, (no chance), then we realised it was Saturday so sauntered off to first class for the weekend upgrade.  :::Humph:::


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 17, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> We did this on the way to Cornwall, got on at Reading and two scummers were in our reserved seats. They scurried off to look for seats in another carriage, (no chance), then we realised it was Saturday so sauntered off to first class for the weekend upgrade.  :::Humph:::


You get bonus points if you turf an old dear from your reserved seat.  

And lots of dirty looks.


----------



## BigTom (Nov 17, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> "Southeastern services from Orpington delayed by trapped squirrel on train"
> 
> story here





> “The couple stayed on board, trying to coax their pet out and when the train arrived at Victoria the couple had already left.
> 
> "There was no sign of the squirrel and we hope they were reunited with their pet.”



 Train originally meant to stop short of victoria, was pushed on to prevent delays to following trains whilst the two passengers looked for their pet, got to victoria, no passengers/squirrel


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 17, 2016)

Seems a lot of trains on my route are fucked this evening - some over an hour late. 

Just arrived at home station - exactly 30 minutes late so claim on its way.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 17, 2016)

Let's have a looksy at how SWT are coping with the unexpected event that is autumn...

Area's affected by autumn conditions today: 
- Weybridge station 
- Wanborough station 
- Stoneleigh to Ewell West station 
- Winnersh Triangle - Sunningdale station 
- Woolston station 
- Brookwood station 
- Esher station 
- Claygate station 
- Portsmouth area 
- Southampton area 
- Eastleigh area 
- Overton - Warminster station 
- Strawberry hill - Kingston station 
- Addlestone station 
- Basingstoke station 
- Camberley and Ascot station 


Plus a little bit of...

We also have a number of incidents which are affecting train service this evening.
- An earlier broken down train at Southampton Airport Parkway and at Whitchurch.
- A track defect on the country bound fast line at Woking.
- Signalling problems in the Weymouth area
- Signalling problems between Romsey and Salisbury



And a dash of...

A replacement bus service is operating between Ascot and Aldershot and will be in place until the end of service, however bus services may be further delayed due to reports of a fallen tree blocking the A30 at Bagshot which is the only route between Bagshot and Camberley.


----------



## A380 (Nov 18, 2016)

Thameslink last night person under. Not TL's fault but four hours to get home to Bedford.

Tonight broken down train, then the 'recovery train' broke down. 4.5 fucking hours to get home.

I''m not going in on Friday!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 18, 2016)

Some slushy-snowy rain here this morning so the network will probably fall apart today.


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 18, 2016)

A380 said:


> Thameslink last night person under. Not TL's fault but four hours to get home to Bedford.
> 
> Darwin Award with Honours ....person went bike riding on the track south of Elstree Tunnel and inevitably found a train....
> 
> Last night was the second train failure in an hour (I was on the first and was kicked off at Kentish Town) - the second one was dramatic as it died right across the junction at Carlton Road...


----------



## nuffsaid (Nov 18, 2016)

Some idiot was behind me with full beam headlights on for the last 10+ miles of my drive in this morning. Had to adjust my rear-view mirror accordingly.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Nov 18, 2016)

Fun ride on the Central line this morning, major delays and we were then told we had to change trains at Leytonstone once the traffic was flowing (why we couldn't just stay on?)

Luckily we got off at South Woodford to catch a through train, Leytonstone was a nightmare, got more than a little squashed. 

Got to Bethnal Green and heard some woman screaming for help, think she got a little stuck in the gap or something the guy on the platform sorted her out within a minute but we still had another delay of 10-15 minutes while the emergency cord was reset...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 18, 2016)

nuffsaid said:


> Some idiot was behind me with full beam headlights on for the last 10+ miles of my drive in this morning. Had to adjust my rear-view mirror accordingly.



That's why god invented fog lights.


----------



## Virtual Blue (Nov 18, 2016)

Stuck on Thameslink Station for 10mins this morning.
And pretty much all this week, I've been late for work.

South Western Trains is the pits.

Can't wait to get my bike fixed.


----------



## nuffsaid (Nov 18, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> That's why god invented fog lights.



Well, I did think about a retaliatory fog-flash but I thought if they're that much of an idiot they don't know they're on main beam they'll probably just assume something is wrong with my lights.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 18, 2016)

nuffsaid said:


> Well, I did think about a retaliatory fog-flash but I thought if they're that much of an idiot they don't know they're on main beam they'll probably just assume something is wrong with my lights.



Plus I'm sure your windscreen could do with a clean...


----------



## A380 (Nov 18, 2016)

It was the fact that it was two days in a row that impressed me. Also kudos to the  ticket inspector at St Pancras last night who, faced with 1000 really pissed off people thought it was a fantastic idea to start challenging and berating people about having tickets for the wrong trains. From an intellectual perspective I was disappointed when his colleagues physically dragged him away from the barriers as it would have been interesting to see if a mob of commuters could have constructed a large, flammable wicker man from discarded items on the station concourse...


----------



## kabbes (Nov 18, 2016)

2 hours to get from Waterloo to Dorking today.	Train took 45 minutes extra to get to Leatherhead, then we were thrown off and had to wait 15 mins for a Southern train to Dorking.  Left work at 4pm, will get home at about 7pm.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 21, 2016)

Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Godalming.

The following train services may be cancelled or delayed due to congestion caused by delays earlier today
- The 17:15, 17:30, 17:45, 18:00, 18:18, 18:30, 18:45, 19:15, 19:30, 19:45 and 20:00.

The following train services may be cancelled or delayed due to poor railhead conditions
- The 17:15, 17:30, 17:45, 18:00, 18:18, 18:30, 18:45, 19:15, 19:30, 19:45 and 20:00.

The 17:45 may be cancelled or delayed due to a signalling problem.


----------



## Virtual Blue (Nov 21, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Disruption has been reported to services between London Waterloo and Godalming.
> 
> The following train services may be cancelled or delayed due to congestion caused by delays earlier today
> - The 17:15, 17:30, 17:45, 18:00, 18:18, 18:30, 18:45, 19:15, 19:30, 19:45 and 20:00.
> ...





Tube journey to Streatham.
How shit.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 21, 2016)

22 minutes late.  signal failure at effingham junction.  and quite a lot of effingham going on


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 22, 2016)

Feel sorry for any poor sods trying to travel to the SW today - everything seems properly fucked because of flooding.


----------



## Me76 (Nov 22, 2016)

All my trains have been getting more and more rubbish over the last week or so and it dawned on me this morning that this is the run up to Christmas where everyone just stops giving a shit.  Last year I think I remember the last 6 weeks before Christmas only having 3 trains that actually turned up on time.  Obviously rain and wind and stuff doesn't help, but I expect it only to get worse until January.


----------



## Artaxerxes (Nov 22, 2016)

Can we make it legal to punch people in the face for obstructing the doors and trying to get on before people get off the train?


----------



## Virtual Blue (Nov 22, 2016)

Artaxerxes said:


> Can we make it legal to punch people in the face for obstructing the doors and trying to get on before people get off the train?



And people with morning breath.


----------



## Me76 (Nov 25, 2016)

So southern are definitely checking the claims more carefully. 



> Journey Details
> 21 November 2016
> London Bridge to Tulse Hill at 17:50
> Decision: Declined
> Having checked our records for the details of the delay you provided to us, our systems show that the delay was 25 minutes, which is below the minimum threshold for which you are entitled to Delay Repay compensation. We used the following information to calculate your delay: The intended leg from 17:50 LONDON BRIDGE, scheduled to arrive at TULSE HILL at 18:08 could not be taken because the train was cancelled. The alternative leg from 18:08 LONDON BRIDGE left on time, scheduled to arrive at TULSE HILL at 18:28, arrived 5 minutes late. Total journey delay: 25 minutes.



I think it will still be worth putting in the claims for cancelled trains as if the one after is delayed it might hit the threshold.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 25, 2016)

Me76 said:


> So southern are definitely checking the claims more carefully.
> 
> 
> 
> I think it will still be worth putting in the claims for cancelled trains as if the one after is delayed it might hit the threshold.


Always worth a try - although it depends on which individual deals with your claim I find. Some are more reasonable than others. 

My train route runs every half an hour so a cancellation almost inevitably means compensation is due.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 25, 2016)

What if you were bunking? Still get fucking delayed and no hope of compo


----------



## Winot (Nov 25, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> What if you were bunking? Still get fucking delayed and no hope of compo



Charge them for your time?


----------



## davesgcr (Nov 25, 2016)

Winot said:


> Charge them for your time?



Basically "no pay - no delay repay" .....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 25, 2016)

davesgcr said:


> Basically "no pay - no delay repay" .....


In theory it would be easy to defraud the system if you have a season ticket. Just watch out for delayed services around your normal travelling time and bung claims in. It must be quite common, and unless they routinely check the train cctv footage for claims to see if you're on the delayed service, quite difficult to spot.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 25, 2016)

davesgcr said:


> Basically "no pay - no delay repay" .....




Fascist bread-heads.


----------



## tommers (Nov 25, 2016)

The train I normally get from shepherd's bush to Balham was cancelled. 

So I went to Clapham. So far two more trains have been "delayed".  Will have been here for 45 mins by the time their latest guess gets here.


----------



## magneze (Nov 25, 2016)

What is it with all the people with full size bikes during rush hour now?


----------



## tommers (Dec 2, 2016)

I'm seriously considering working from home every day.

I get to walk my kids to school.  I get to sleep for an extra hour (or two),  I can have dinner with the family rather than warming up something in the microwave and bolting it down before putting the kids to bed.  In fact I get to see the kids for longer than half an hour a day.

I have video calling if people really want to see my face.  I can attend meetings with that in pretty much any meeting room.  I can take phone calls from three different services on my laptop.  Tickets, emails all work as normal.  My team has its own chatroom, I can contact anybody in the company on instant messenger.

I don't have to leave home in the dark to wrestle with fucking idiots on a variety of station platforms just to get to a desk in an office that I can recreate at home.  I did it for 3 days this week and it was brilliant.  Came in to work today and it was awful.

The only downside is... I don't know.  I'm going to tell the team to just work from home whenever they like.  Fuck this shit.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 2, 2016)

The kabbess has permanently worked from home for at least the last five years.  The last only downside is if you don't see anyone, the loneliness very slowly drives you nuts.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 7, 2016)

tommers said:


> I'm seriously considering working from home every day.
> 
> I get to walk my kids to school.  I get to sleep for an extra hour (or two),  I can have dinner with the family rather than warming up something in the microwave and bolting it down before putting the kids to bed.  In fact I get to see the kids for longer than half an hour a day.
> 
> ...



Get more work done, whereas after a 90 minutes slog into town I crash at my desk at 9, I can see the kids, walk the dog and still be at my desk my 0830, at the end of the day instead of leaving the office at 6, another 90 minute slog home (if SWT don't fuck shit up, see next post) and arriving home to 20 emails, I can mooch down to see the kids, mooch back up and answer those mails as they come in and be all done by 7, which is still at least 30 minutes before I'd have got home anyway and all work is done.




kabbes said:


> The kabbess has permanently worked from home for at least the last five years.  The last only downside is if you don't see anyone, the loneliness very slowly drives you nuts.



Yeah, it can get lonely. Definitely helps if you're a misanthrope.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 7, 2016)

SWT's email today:

Following a significant failure of the National Grid power supply to our signalling centre in Basingstoke yesterday, a large amount of signalling equipment became damaged and we were unable to run trains on some of key routes between Farnborough, Basingstoke, and the West and South West of England.
The damage to the equipment was extensive, and engineers have worked through the night to rectify the problems and bring the equipment back into working order.
The majority of signalling equipment was brought back into use at around 0600 this morning.
Services between London Waterloo, Bournemouth and Weymouth will remain significantly disrupted for some time.
We are not able to run trains between Bournemouth and Weymouth at this time, and our engineers are still working on a estimate for the repairs to these systems.
A number of buses are in place and running between Weymouth and Poole, however, these are not running to a timetable at this time. You may face a significant wait for replacement transport to arrive. We are attempting to source more buses, and will work to arrange a timetabled service so that you are able to plan your journey more effectively.
Services between London Waterloo, Salisbury and Exeter St Davids are now able to run normally, but will remain heavily disrupted. Delays of up to 40 minutes and short-notice alterations will be likely whilst we try and get the service back to normal.
As soon as more information is available, it will be provided, so please check back here regularly.
In order to help you complete your journey, we have arranged for you to be able to use your tickets on the following routes:
London Underground - services between London Waterloo and London Paddington
Great Western Railway - services on routes between London Paddington and Exeter, Bath, Bristol and Westbury.
*We are very sorry for the disruption to your journey yesterday, and the continued disruption to your journey today.*
Thank you,
South West Trains

Have a colleague who travels from Christchurch to Waterloo, poor cow.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 7, 2016)

In the end, the kabbess went part time (then started a part time degree actually at a university, not distance learning), whilst I started working a day a week from home, partly to keep her company.  Five days a week just talking to yourself is too much year after year.  At first it's great, then it's funny to laugh about it, then it's not so funny to laugh about it.

Not that I wouldn't work five days a week from home if I had the chance!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 7, 2016)

kabbes said:


> In the end, the kabbess went part time (then started a part time degree actually at a university, not distance learning), whilst I started working a day a week from home, partly to keep her company.  Five days a week just talking to yourself is too much year after year.  At first it's great, then it's funny to laugh about it, then it's not so funny to laugh about it.
> 
> Not that I wouldn't work five days a week from home if I had the chance!



The loneliness is a problem for many people. How things are working out though, living in city centres is too expensive, (not that _you_ would want to anyway, me neither), so more and more people commuting greater and greater distances. Yet more work than ever can be done remotely via a reliable internet connection, so less need to schlep in to a city centre. Perhaps an answer would be to have business hubs where you rented a desk in a place local to your house in an office that had business services and other humans doing similar..? (without it being like the wanky Old St Start-up type places)


----------



## kabbes (Dec 7, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> The loneliness is a problem for many people. How things are working out though, living in city centres is too expensive, (not that _you_ would want to anyway, me neither), so more and more people commuting greater and greater distances. Yet more work than ever can be done remotely via a reliable internet connection, so less need to schlep in to a city centre. Perhaps an answer would be to have business hubs where you rented a desk in a place local to your house in an office that had business services and other humans doing similar..? (without it being like the wanky Old St Start-up type places)


I agree with you, of course.  It's stupid that hundreds of thousands of us spend 1-2 hours each way pissing about on shitty trains every day.  Totally unnecessary.

Human wants clash with human needs though, I suspect, when it comes to a solution.  We WANT to bum around at home in our pyjamas and not spend any money on renting desk space.  We also WANT to not have to deal with the hoi polloi, sharing our environments with strangers.  The fact that we might NEED some social interaction only bites us on the bum a few years down the line.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 7, 2016)

kabbes said:


> The fact that we might NEED some social interaction only bites us on the bum a few years down the line.




Which is what dogs are for 



I have Frau Bahn and the kids floating around the place, for your good kabbess I imagine she's on her own from like 7 in the morning until 7 in the evening when you're in town, that would get lonely even with dog.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 7, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Which is what dogs are for
> 
> 
> 
> I have Frau Bahn and the kids floating around the place, for your good kabbess I imagine she's on her own from like 7 in the morning until 7 in the evening when you're in town, that would get lonely even with dog.


Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes.


----------



## marty21 (Dec 7, 2016)

I occasionally get the Piccadily line in, but it is right fucked at the moment as they haven't got enough trains or something - luckily  have plenty of alternative routes.

I can work from home one day a week but I prefer coming into the office - a 30 minute commute means it is (usually) fairly easy to get in.


----------



## Pickman's model (Dec 7, 2016)

marty21 said:


> I occasionally get the Piccadily line in, but it is right fucked at the moment as they haven't got enough trains or something - luckily  have plenty of alternative routes.
> 
> I can work from home one day a week but I prefer coming into the office - a 30 minute commute means it is (usually) fairly easy to get in.


and, more important, to get out


----------



## Me76 (Dec 9, 2016)

They couldn't even be bothered to cancel my train this morning, it just wasn't on the board at all.


----------



## Maggot (Dec 9, 2016)

Virtual Blue said:


> Stuck on Thameslink Station for 10mins this morning.
> And pretty much all this week, I've been late for work.
> 
> South Western Trains is the pits.
> ...



10 whole minutes?

You poor thing


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 9, 2016)

Me76 said:


> They couldn't even be bothered to cancel my train this morning, it just wasn't on the board at all.



I like it when they keep it on the board and it just drives past and leaves you waiting for the next train. No announcement, nothing, just a neatly ordered timetable.


----------



## nuffsaid (Dec 9, 2016)

There's definitely a gap in the market for some sort of train that departs on time, stops where the timetables say it stops and arrives at the required destination, on time. A company would clean up with that kind of service.


----------



## hash tag (Dec 10, 2016)

To ease your blues, I see toilet charges have been "stopped" at both Victoria and Charing Cross. Not sure if this is temporary or permanent mind. They should never have charged in the first place, bloody privatisation. 
Not sure about Charing X, but the is a free loo in Wetherspoons at Victoria amongst other places.

Charing Cross and Victoria stations end toilet charges - BBC News


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

hash tag said:


> To ease your blues, I see toilet charges have been "stopped" at both Victoria and Charing Cross. Not sure if this is temporary or permanent mind. They should never have charged in the first place, bloody privatisation.
> Not sure about Charing X, but the is a free loo in Wetherspoons at Victoria amongst other places.
> 
> Charing Cross and Victoria stations end toilet charges - BBC News


What's it got to do with "privatisation" when both stations are owned and managed by Network Rail......?


----------



## hash tag (Dec 10, 2016)

When all under one roof, travellers were paying for a "service", which, maybe incorrectly I saw including station facilities. Since they were broken up it all came down to Network rail looking after their own needs and profits and it didn't matter that most of the people using the loo's had paid to use the train service. I also feel, again incorrectly, that these days Netork Rail see themselves more responsible to train operators than to passengers.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

hash tag said:


> When all under one roof, travellers were paying for a "service", which, maybe incorrectly I saw including station facilities. Since they were broken up it all came down to Network rail looking after their own needs and profits and it didn't matter that most of the people using the loo's had paid to use the train service. I also feel, again incorrectly, that these days Netork Rail see themselves more responsible to train operators than to passengers.


Errr....Network Rail isn't a profit making operation. And you realise that it costs money to maintain a public toilet, right? And I'm not even sure there wasn't a charge under BR.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2016)

Free at Waterloo East, 30p at Waterloo. Gouging for fucks.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

hash tag said:


> To ease your blues, I see toilet charges have been "stopped" at both Victoria and Charing Cross. Not sure if this is temporary or permanent mind. They should never have charged in the first place, bloody privatisation.
> Not sure about Charing X, but the is a free loo in Wetherspoons at Victoria amongst other places.
> 
> Charing Cross and Victoria stations end toilet charges - BBC News



A temporary change apparently - there was an article in the local rag here moaning about why there are still charges in Manchester stations. 

Why do we still have to pay for using Piccadilly station toilets?


----------



## Artaxerxes (Dec 10, 2016)

Pay per Pee can fuck right off.

I can understand the logic, because public bogs are frankly nasty but even when paid for they remain gopping 


I just use McDonald's or whatever


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Free at Waterloo East, 30p at Waterloo. Gouging for fucks.


Waterloo is a lot busier station than Waterloo East, and at WE the toilets are behind the ticket barriers, and at Waterloo they aren't. And I'm not sure how wanting to recoup the money spent on maintaining and cleaning makes them "gouging fucks"?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Waterloo is a lot busier station than Waterloo East, and at WE the toilets are behind the ticket barriers, and at Waterloo they aren't. And I'm not sure how wanting to recoup the money spent on maintaining and cleaning makes them "gouging fucks"?



No, its the duty to provide basic public services free of charge.  We all need to go for a piss when out and about, and toilet provision is just part of their overheads that they should absorb.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> No, its the duty to provide basic public services free of charge.



Err....no it's not.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Err....no it's not.



Why isn't it?  Toilets are a fundamental need for all of us.  The costs of running them will obviously be paid for through other means, so for stations it is fares, rents levied on shops at the station, etc.  It is just common decency to provide these basic services free.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Why isn't it?  Toilets are a fundamental need for all of us.  The costs of running them will obviously be paid for through other means, so for stations it is fares, rents levied on shops at the station, etc.  It is just common decency to provide these basic services free.


I'm not sure why it is a "duty" for a property owner to provide free toilet facilities for anyone who walks in off the street? Most other businesses won't do that.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> I'm not sure why it is a "duty" for a property owner to provide free toilet facilities for anyone who walks in off the street? Most other business won't do that.



*sigh*

Why isn't it a duty for an industry that receives _huge_ amounts of public subsidy to provide free toilet facilities at the train stations?  By your logic train operating companies should charge passengers for using the toilets on their trains - it isn't their duty to provide them free after all. 

There is a principle of basic civic decency that means some things have to be provided to enable a decent and hygenic environment for everyone.  I'd much rather pay by other means for toilets free at the point of use, if that meant that someone with a kid with a dodgy stomach could nip straight in to the loo, rather than the kid shit itself while the parent fumbles for change to get through the barriers (also, people with medical conditions needing more frequent toilet trips). 

I know you won't agree because you have a very weird attitude to anything to do with trains and the surrounding infrastructure and can't accept you are ever wrong, but whatever...


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> *sigh*
> 
> Why isn't it a duty for an industry that receives _huge_ amounts of public subsidy to provide free toilet facilities at the train stations?  By your logic train operating companies should charge passengers for using the toilets on their trains - it isn't their duty to provide them free after all.



That's not my logic at all. If you're on a train then you are a paying customer. Joe Bloggs who walks into a station off the street isn't, necessarily, a paying customer. Just like someone who walks into a restaurant or pub without actually buying anything isn't a paying customer. I'd like to see you demanding to use the toilet at any of those establishments making out that it was some sort of "right" and see how far you get.

And all the money NR has gets invested back into the railway. NR who are heavily in debt btw.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 10, 2016)

it's not fair on people who are desperate to use a toilet to have to scramble around for change. I often need to use the loo after a long coach journey.
Many people have medical conditions which make it necessary for frequent loo visits and it's not fair to charge them every time. Costs of running these loos should be absorbed by the already exorbitant tickets prices.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> That's not my logic at all. If you're on a train then you are a paying customer. Joe Bloggs who walks into a station off the street isn't, necessarily, a paying customer. Just like someone who walks into a restaurant or pub without actually buying anything isn't a paying customer. I'd like to see you demanding to use the toilet at any of those establishments making out that it was some sort of "right" and see how far you get.
> 
> And all the money NR has gets invested back into the railway. NR who are heavily in debt btw.



We are talking about a part of the infrastructure of the country - not some random shop (although plenty do let people use their toilets, such as department stores).  What happens when someone needs the toilet on their journey, only to find the toilets on the train are broken - a very regular occurence.  Should they be allowed to use the station toilets free of charge?  Or should they receive a refund on their ticket?   

The fact is that as some stations do not charge for toilets, it shows that they don't really need to - it is just a steady trickle of useful revenue for them.  Everyone pays for the upkeep of the transport network through taxation, and it isn't relevant how much debt Network Rail may have - the costs of toilet provision must be vanishingly small in context of the overall running costs of the railway.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> it's not fair on people who are desperate to use a toilet to have to scramble around for change. I often need to use the loo after a long coach journey.



Coaches tend to have toilets these day don't they? But why would you be in at a London terminus station if you've just got off a coach? Coaches stop at Victoria Coach station, which presumably has its onw facilities.



> Many people have medical conditions which make it necessary for frequent loo visits and it's not fair to charge them every time. Costs of running these loos should be absorbed by the already exorbitant tickets prices.



So why can't those people use a Radar key....?


----------



## hash tag (Dec 10, 2016)

There are far too few public toilets around these days and the problem is getting worse. Many who use stations are fare paying customers. There are, I imagine, few who walk in off the street to use station loos and if so, so what. Not everyone who has the need has a radar key. Many public buildings have free loos, why not a station? The stations these days are full of concessions paying, I imagine huge amounts to Network Rail. Besides, Victoria coined in £1.4 last year through the loos alone! Thats just goes towards their upkeep - NOT.
keep em free!


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Coaches tend to have toilets these day don't they? But why would you be in at a London terminus station if you've just got off a coach? Coaches stop at Victoria Coach station, which presumably has its onw facilities.
> 
> 
> 
> So why can't those people use a Radar key....?


Victoria Coach Station is also a station, just not a train station. One that should offer free toilet facilities. Not everyone has a Radar key (I can only presume what one is). Not everyone wants to go to the toilet on a moving coach. 
They're quite easy to dodge luckily, but one day I won't be so nimble.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle, devoid of the milk of human kindness as usual.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Victoria Coach Station is also a station, just not a train station. One that should offer free toilet facilities. Not everyone has a Radar key (I can only presume what one is). Not everyone wants to go to the toilet on a moving coach.
> They're quite easy to dodge luckily, but one day I won't be so nimble.


Well don't you think people with needs should actually use the facilities that have already been provided, and paid for, instead of moaning about having to pay a nominal fee to use the standard toilet?  And why have you suddenly brought Vic coach station into this when the topic is railway stations?



farmerbarleymow said:


> Bungle, devoid of the milk of human kindness as usual.


Just because some people need to pay a paltry 50p to use a toilet in certain locations? Get real.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> That's not my logic at all. If you're on a train then you are a paying customer. Joe Bloggs who walks into a station off the street isn't, necessarily, a paying customer. Just like someone who walks into a restaurant or pub without actually buying anything isn't a paying customer. I'd like to see you demanding to use the toilet at any of those establishments making out that it was some sort of "right" and see how far you get.
> 
> And all the money NR has gets invested back into the railway. NR who are heavily in debt btw.



I'm often on a train and not a paying my customer, fare dodgers need to shit an'all you know.

Many 100% private businesses have signed up to council initiatives to allow anyone to use their lavs in exchange for the council withdrawing facilities and increasing business rates, so if they can do it whilst getting shafted, why can't Network Rail offer free facilities for those in need but lacking cash?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Just because some people need to pay a paltry 50p to use a toilet in certain locations? Get real.



50p is a lot to many people. And for those of us  fortunate enough that it is not a lot we still need to have it, the gates don't take cards or Apple Pay, so need to go to a cash point, draw out a tenner, break it down with some over priced shit you didn't want in Smiths, all so you can have a widdle, which, incidentally, costs the same as a full-on shit. Where's the fucking justice in that?


----------



## moon (Dec 10, 2016)

This...


Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Perhaps an answer would be to have business hubs where you rented a desk in a place local to your house in an office that had business services and other humans doing similar..? (without it being like the wanky Old St Start-up type places)


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I'm often on a train and not a paying my customer, fare dodgers need to shit an'all you know.
> 
> Many 100% private businesses have signed up to council initiatives to allow anyone to use their lavs in exchange for the council withdrawing facilities and increasing business rates, so if they can do it whilst getting shafted, why can't Network Rail offer free facilities for those in need but lacking cash?



Because those probably don't get anywhere near the sort throughput that a public convenience at a major railway station gets. And that is something that they have chosen to do, just as NR has decided to make it free at these two stations (for now), but I don't see why other organisations should lambasted for not providing free facilities to all-comers.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Because those probably don't get anywhere near the sort throughput that a public convenience at a major railway station gets.



Even more reason to make sure there's plenty of bogs for everyone then and not just a monied elite.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Just because some people need to pay a paltry 50p to use a toilet in certain locations? Get real.





Bungle73 said:


> Because those probably don't get anywhere near the sort throughput that a public convenience at a major railway station gets. And that is something that they have chosen to do, just as NR has decided to make it free at these two stations (for now), but I don't see why other organisations should lambasted for not providing free facilities to all-comers.



You really are a bit of a knob.  A mean spirited one at that.  

I sincerely hope that you're never in a position due to health problems to need easy and free (due to financial contraints) access to a toilet.  Because if you do you will see the utter folly of your ways.  

A thoroughly unpleasant attitude you have displayed on this issue.  Frankly, you are a disgrace.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> You really are a bit of a knob.  A mean spirited one at that.
> 
> I sincerely hope that you're never in a position due to health problems to need easy and free (due to financial contraints) access to a toilet.  Because if you do you will see the utter folly of your ways.
> 
> A thoroughly unpleasant attitude you have displayed on this issue.  Frankly, you are a disgrace.



Health issues and lack of cash often go hand in hand.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Health issues and lack of cash often go hand in hand.



Indeed - we all know that, but the mighty Bungle can't see it.  It says a lot about his attitude to life and compassion for humanity that he thinks 'fuck you' if everyone has to pay to use the toilet.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Even more reason to make sure there's plenty of bogs for everyone then and not just a monied elite.



Monied elite? Oh don't absolute bollocks. That has to be the most downright asinine thing anyone has ever said on here. We're talking about 50 god damned pence, no millions of pounds ffs,


farmerbarleymow said:


> You really are a bit of a knob.  A mean spirited one at that.
> 
> I sincerely hope that you're never in a position due to health problems to need easy and free (due to financial contraints) access to a toilet.  Because if you do you will see the utter folly of your ways.
> 
> A thoroughly unpleasant attitude you have displayed on this issue.  Frankly, you are a disgrace.



You're a fucking disgrace talking like that to me.  All they need to do is a get a Radar key. What is so fucking difficult about that?? So I suggest you shut up and stop talking fucking bollocks, and you owe me an apology.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

I've got an "unpleasant attitude" because I think people should actually use the faciites that money has been spent on providing for them?? FUCK OFF!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Dec 10, 2016)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Monied elite? Oh don't absolute bollocks. That has to be the most downright asinine thing anyone has ever said on here. We're talking about 50 god damned pence, no millions of pounds ffs,
> 
> 
> You're a fucking disgrace talking like that to me.  All they need to do is a get a Radar key. What is so fucking difficult about that?? So I suggest you shut up and stop talking fucking bollocks, and you owe me an apology.



50p x family of six = three pounds, quite an outlay for family to spend a penny.



Radar key? Many people would rather not choose to identify in a manner that would require one, it seems you feel that they should be penalised for that. Bit scummy of you Bugle.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 50p x family of six = three pounds, quite an outlay for family to spend a penny.



I can't take you seriously any more. Anyone who uses the phrase "monied elite" over 50p to go to the toilet doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. And so, someone has the money to feed and clothe four kids, and to pay the train fares for them all, but they don't have 50p for the toilet? Really? And since when do 6 people all need to go into the loo at the same time? It's a frigging public convenience, not a theme park ride.



> Radar key? Many people would rather not choose to identify in a manner that would require one, it seems you feel that they should be penalised for that. Bit scummy of you Bugle.



I think we both know that is complete bollocks. Anyone with a legitimate need for one would be under some kind of health care professional, so there is no reason on Earth they couldn't get one.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Well don't you think people with needs should actually use the facilities that have already been provided, and paid for, instead of moaning about having to pay a nominal fee to use the standard toilet?  And why have you suddenly brought Vic coach station into this when the topic is railway stations?


 Not everyone is steady enough on their feet to use a coach toilet. Some people may have hang ups with walking in front of a load of people to go use a toilet - many suffer from social anxiety which may make them reluctant to do so.
The topic wasn't specifically about railway stations. It is surely relevant to bring up coach stations as well as train stations, on a thread about bad travel experiences.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> I can't take you seriously any more. Anyone who uses the phrase "monied elite" over 50p to go to the toilet doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. And so, someone has the money to feed and clothe four kids, and to pay the train fares for them all, but they don't have 50p for the toilet? Really? And since when do 6 people all need to go into the loo at the same time? It's a frigging public convenience, not a theme park ride.



When travelling with kids you need to ensure that all are refreshed before getting on a train as you can never be sure that the TOC will provide working facilities on board, so a three pound surcharge for low income families in your world, how kind you are.

Dunno what theme parks you go you, the ones I've been to have free bogs for all, not so at Bungleworld


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> You're a fucking disgrace talking like that to me. All they need to do is a get a Radar key. What is so fucking difficult about that?? So I suggest you shut up and stop talking fucking bollocks, and you owe me an apology.



I give you the following example, you fucking fuckmuppet.   



Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 50p x family of six = three pounds, quite an outlay for family to spend a penny.
> 
> Radar key? Many people would rather not choose to identify in a manner that would require one, it seems you feel that they should be penalised for that. Bit scummy of you Bugle.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> View attachment 96928



Threadsbeenbungled!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

PS -bunglyidiot - I certaintly owe you nowt on the apology front.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

For posterity - Bungle73 at his annoying finest...



Bungle73 said:


> *Waterloo is a lot busier station than Waterloo East, and at WE the toilets are behind the ticket barriers, and at Waterloo they aren't. And I'm not sure how wanting to recoup the money spent on maintaining and cleaning makes them "gouging fucks"?*





farmerbarleymow said:


> No, its the duty to provide basic public services free of charge.  We all need to go for a piss when out and about, and toilet provision is just part of their overheads that they should absorb.






Bungle73 said:


> *Err....no it's not.*





farmerbarleymow said:


> Why isn't it?  Toilets are a fundamental need for all of us.  The costs of running them will obviously be paid for through other means, so for stations it is fares, rents levied on shops at the station, etc.  It is just common decency to provide these basic services free.






Bungle73 said:


> *I'm not sure why it is a "duty" for a property owner to provide free toilet facilities for anyone who walks in off the street? Most other businesses won't do that.*





farmerbarleymow said:


> *sigh*
> 
> Why isn't it a duty for an industry that receives _huge_ amounts of public subsidy to provide free toilet facilities at the train stations?  By your logic train operating companies should charge passengers for using the toilets on their trains - it isn't their duty to provide them free after all.
> 
> ...






Bungle73 said:


> *That's not my logic at all. If you're on a train then you are a paying customer. Joe Bloggs who walks into a station off the street isn't, necessarily, a paying customer. Just like someone who walks into a restaurant or pub without actually buying anything isn't a paying customer. I'd like to see you demanding to use the toilet at any of those establishments making out that it was some sort of "right" and see how far you get.*
> 
> *And all the money NR has gets invested back into the railway. NR who are heavily in debt btw.*





Orang Utan said:


> it's not fair on people who are desperate to use a toilet to have to scramble around for change. I often need to use the loo after a long coach journey.
> Many people have medical conditions which make it necessary for frequent loo visits and it's not fair to charge them every time. Costs of running these loos should be absorbed by the already exorbitant tickets prices.





farmerbarleymow said:


> We are talking about a part of the infrastructure of the country - not some random shop (although plenty do let people use their toilets, such as department stores).  What happens when someone needs the toilet on their journey, only to find the toilets on the train are broken - a very regular occurence.  Should they be allowed to use the station toilets free of charge?  Or should they receive a refund on their ticket?
> 
> The fact is that as some stations do not charge for toilets, it shows that they don't really need to - it is just a steady trickle of useful revenue for them.  Everyone pays for the upkeep of the transport network through taxation, and it isn't relevant how much debt Network Rail may have - the costs of toilet provision must be vanishingly small in context of the overall running costs of the railway.






Bungle73 said:


> *Coaches tend to have toilets these day don't they? But why would you be in at a London terminus station if you've just got off a coach? Coaches stop at Victoria Coach station, which presumably has its onw facilities.*
> *So why can't those people use a Radar key....?*





hash tag said:


> There are far too few public toilets around these days and the problem is getting worse. Many who use stations are fare paying customers. There are, I imagine, few who walk in off the street to use station loos and if so, so what. Not everyone who has the need has a radar key. Many public buildings have free loos, why not a station? The stations these days are full of concessions paying, I imagine huge amounts to Network Rail. Besides, Victoria coined in £1.4 last year through the loos alone! Thats just goes towards their upkeep - NOT.
> keep em free!





Orang Utan said:


> Victoria Coach Station is also a station, just not a train station. One that should offer free toilet facilities. Not everyone has a Radar key (I can only presume what one is). Not everyone wants to go to the toilet on a moving coach.
> They're quite easy to dodge luckily, but one day I won't be so nimble.





farmerbarleymow said:


> Bungle, devoid of the milk of human kindness as usual.





Bungle73 said:


> *Well don't you think people with needs should actually use the facilities that have already been provided, and paid for, instead of moaning about having to pay a nominal fee to use the standard toilet?  And why have you suddenly brought Vic coach station into this when the topic is railway stations?*
> 
> *Just because some people need to pay a paltry 50p to use a toilet in certain locations? Get real.*





Bahnhof Strasse said:


> I'm often on a train and not a paying my customer, fare dodgers need to shit an'all you know.
> 
> Many 100% private businesses have signed up to council initiatives to allow anyone to use their lavs in exchange for the council withdrawing facilities and increasing business rates, so if they can do it whilst getting shafted, why can't Network Rail offer free facilities for those in need but lacking cash?





Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 50p is a lot to many people. And for those of us  fortunate enough that it is not a lot we still need to have it, the gates don't take cards or Apple Pay, so need to go to a cash point, draw out a tenner, break it down with some over priced shit you didn't want in Smiths, all so you can have a widdle, which, incidentally, costs the same as a full-on shit. Where's the fucking justice in that?






Bungle73 said:


> *Because those probably don't get anywhere near the sort throughput that a public convenience at a major railway station gets. And that is something that they have chosen to do, just as NR has decided to make it free at these two stations (for now), but I don't see why other organisations should lambasted for not providing free facilities to all-comers.*





Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Even more reason to make sure there's plenty of bogs for everyone then and not just a monied elite.





farmerbarleymow said:


> You really are a bit of a knob.  A mean spirited one at that.
> 
> I sincerely hope that you're never in a position due to health problems to need easy and free (due to financial contraints) access to a toilet.  Because if you do you will see the utter folly of your ways.
> 
> A thoroughly unpleasant attitude you have displayed on this issue.  Frankly, you are a disgrace.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 10, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Health issues and lack of cash often go hand in hand.





farmerbarleymow said:


> Indeed - we all know that, but the mighty Bungle can't see it.  It says a lot about his attitude to life and compassion for humanity that he thinks 'fuck you' if everyone has to pay to use the toilet.






Bungle73 said:


> *Monied elite? Oh don't absolute bollocks. That has to be the most downright asinine thing anyone has ever said on here. We're talking about 50 god damned pence, no millions of pounds ffs,*
> 
> *You're a fucking disgrace talking like that to me.  All they need to do is a get a Radar key. What is so fucking difficult about that?? So I suggest you shut up and stop talking fucking bollocks, and you owe me an apology.*





Bungle73 said:


> *I've got an "unpleasant attitude" because I think people should actually use the faciites that money has been spent on providing for them?? FUCK OFF!*





Bahnhof Strasse said:


> 50p x family of six = three pounds, quite an outlay for family to spend a penny.
> 
> Radar key? Many people would rather not choose to identify in a manner that would require one, it seems you feel that they should be penalised for that. Bit scummy of you Bugle.






Bungle73 said:


> I can't take you seriously any more. Anyone who uses the phrase "monied elite" over 50p to go to the toilet doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. And so, someone has the money to feed and clothe four kids, and to pay the train fares for them all, but they don't have 50p for the toilet? Really? And since when do 6 people all need to go into the loo at the same time? It's a frigging public convenience, not a theme park ride.
> 
> I think we both know that is complete bollocks. Anyone with a legitimate need for one would be under some kind of health care professional, so there is no reason on Earth they couldn't get one.





Orang Utan said:


> Not everyone is steady enough on their feet to use a coach toilet. Some people may have hang ups with walking in front of a load of people to go use a toilet - many suffer from social anxiety which may make them reluctant to do so.
> 
> The topic wasn't specifically about railway stations. It is surely relevant to bring up coach stations as well as train stations, on a thread about bad travel experiences.





Bahnhof Strasse said:


> When travelling with kids you need to ensure that all are refreshed before getting on a train as you can never be sure that the TOC will provide working facilities on board, so a three pound surcharge for low income families in your world, how kind you are.
> 
> Dunno what theme parks you go you, the ones I've been to have free bogs for all, not so at Bungleworld


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 10, 2016)

I think this "Farmerbarleywozzit" person has mental health issues. How else can one explain this latest, bizarre, series of posts, and their unhealthy obsession with speaking bollocks and winding me up. I mean lets face it this is not the first time that he's been an arse to me.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Coaches tend to have toilets these day don't they? But why would you be in at a London terminus station if you've just got off a coach? Coaches stop at Victoria Coach station, which presumably has its onw facilities.
> 
> 
> 
> So why can't those people use a Radar key....?



"Those people"? Cunt.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

hash tag said:


> There are far too few public toilets around these days and the problem is getting worse. Many who use stations are fare paying customers. There are, I imagine, few who walk in off the street to use station loos and if so, so what. Not everyone who has the need has a radar key. Many public buildings have free loos, why not a station? The stations these days are full of concessions paying, I imagine huge amounts to Network Rail. Besides, Victoria coined in £1.4 last year through the loos alone! Thats just goes towards their upkeep - NOT.
> keep em free!



In most locations, there's only a single radar-keyed loo per sex, even at such sites as railway termini, hospitals and shopping centres. There aren't enough such loos to go around as is, so anus-bugle73's whine about why can't "those people use a Radar key?" is broken on the rocks of the reality that there aren't enough Radar bogs, or bogs accessible to disabled people generally, to go round.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> Victoria Coach Station is also a station, just not a train station. One that should offer free toilet facilities. Not everyone has a Radar key (I can only presume what one is). Not everyone wants to go to the toilet on a moving coach.
> They're quite easy to dodge luckily, but one day I won't be so nimble.



Radar keys allow access to locked disabled-accessible toilets in "key" locations in the UK. Radar is the umbrella organisation that lists and publicises them too.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

farmerbarleymow said:


> You really are a bit of a knob.  A mean spirited one at that.
> 
> I sincerely hope that you're never in a position due to health problems to need easy and free (due to financial contraints) access to a toilet.  Because if you do you will see the utter folly of your ways.



I wouldn't wish such a fate even on as massive a cunt as bungle. It isn't fun having to take a change of clothes and cleaning materials with you every time you go out for more than a few minutes. 



> A thoroughly unpleasant attitude you have displayed on this issue.  Frankly, you are a disgrace.



He has no sympathy and no empathy. It's not "unpleasantness", it's lack of affect - lack of desire or ability to give a shit.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 11, 2016)

Ah, I see we've been joined by that other mentally deficient person, who also has some kind of obsession with me.



ViolentPanda said:


> "Those people"? Cunt.



Need I say more? What a truly bizarre and ridiculous post.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> I think we both know that is complete bollocks. Anyone with a legitimate need for one would be under some kind of health care professional, so there is no reason on Earth they couldn't get one.



The above line alone shows that you don't have a clue what you're talking about.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Ah, I see we've been joined by that other mentally deficient person, who also has some kind of obsession with me.
> 
> 
> 
> Need I say more? What a truly bizarre and ridiculous post.



Quoted for posterity.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 11, 2016)

I'm even sure why you're allowed on here tbh. Someone with such extreme aggressive and abusive tendencies shouldn't be allowed the oxygen of publicity, let alone "sympathy" or "empathy". You should seek help before you hurt someone.


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> I'm even sure why you're allowed on here tbh. Someone with such extreme aggressive and abusive tendencies shouldn't be allowed the oxygen of publicity, let alone "sympathy" or "empathy". You should seek help before you hurt someone.



Are you a psychologist now, to judge me to have "extreme aggressive and abusive tendencies"? Is this on top of you having psychiatric qualifications that allow you to judge farmerbarleymow and myself as being "mentally deficient"?

Or could it be that all you are, all you'll ever be, is a whiner who projects his own failings and inadequacies onto others? As someone who does have psychology qualifications, I think the latter is far more likely than the former.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 11, 2016)

ViolentPanda said:


> Are you a psychologist now, to judge me to have "extreme aggressive and abusive tendencies"? Is this on top of you having psychiatric qualifications that allow you to judge farmerbarleymow and myself as being "mentally deficient"?
> 
> Or could it be that all you are, all you'll ever be, is a whiner who projects his own failings and inadequacies onto others? As someone who does have psychology qualifications, I think the latter is far more likely than the former.


It's plain for all to see.

I think the only thing that you probably have "qualifications" in is being a tosser.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 11, 2016)

Answer me this: when have you ever added anything useful, interesting or relevant to a thread?  All you seem to do these days is wander around the forum looking for threads that I'm a part of, and as soon as you spy one you jump right in and aim more of your bile in my direction. And you seem to think that this is normal and appropriate behaviour............


----------



## ViolentPanda (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> It's plain for all to see.
> 
> I think the only thing that you probably have "qualifications" in is being a tosser.



More projection. 



Bungle73 said:


> Answer me this: when have you ever added anything useful, interesting or relevant to a thread?  All you seem to do these days is wander around the forum looking for threads that I'm a part of, and as soon as you spy one you jump right in and aim more of your bile in my direction. And you seem to think that this is normal and appropriate behaviour............



Paranoia on your part. What "seems" to happen, isn't reality. The reality is that occasionally I come across a thread you've posted on, and mostly you've acted like a cunt, which needs remarking on.  The very fact that you believe yourself to be worthy of being stalked is a good measure of your self-delusion.


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## farmerbarleymow (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> I think this "Farmerbarleywozzit" person has mental health issues. How else can one explain this latest, bizarre, series of posts, and their unhealthy obsession with speaking bollocks and winding me up. I mean lets face it this is not the first time that he's been an arse to me.


Quoted for posterity.


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## kabbes (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle, you are an unmitigated shit.  In an internet full of the worst humanity has to offer, you somehow manage to be the most unpleasant individual I have yet come across.  Your petty minded utter lack of any kind of empathy or care is chilling to the bone.  My one crumb of comfort is that I only encounter you briefly and online, whereas you have to live with yourself every day.


----------



## nogojones (Dec 11, 2016)

I really struggle to understand why UK Rail forums would want to ban Bungle


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## 2hats (Dec 11, 2016)

With some of the turnstile designs they use for those type of public toilets you can just lean over and press the exit button to walk in through them (I noticed the loos in Covent Garden are amenable to this). Having done that, I'd wash my hands before going, never mind after.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 11, 2016)

kabbes said:


> Bungle, you are an unmitigated shit.  In an internet full of the worst humanity has to offer, you somehow manage to be the most unpleasant individual I have yet come across.  Your petty minded utter lack of any kind of empathy or care is chilling to the bone.  My one crumb of comfort is that I only encounter you briefly and online, whereas you have to live with yourself every day.


Oh please go and do one.

What a load  of fucking bollocks. It is quite simply sickening that you people act that the only option for disabled people is to pay  WHEN IT FUCKING ISN'T. They can get a fucking Radar key. It's what it's fucking for!!

And are you really posting that when some utter cretin just swanned into the thread and  decided to call me a "cunt" FOR NO FUCKING REASON!!  FUCK YOU!!!!!!!


----------



## hash tag (Dec 11, 2016)

Thats all very well but for people that need them the most ie wrinklies and those with ill health, that may be easier said than done. By the same token, if you are relatively fit, you can simply go over the top as it were. Clearly not many people do as Victoria ones netted over a million last year.
The end of the day, public loos are declining in numbers and should be free. To counter this, people have tried to get a community toilet scheme up and running, which for various reasons does not/has not worked at all well.


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## Bungle73 (Dec 11, 2016)

Easier said then done? They're easy to get hold of.

And at the end of the day a railway station isn't really a "public space" it's private property so I'm not sure why there should be an expectation to provide free lavatories.  And it's not like charging for any kind of public conveniences is new anyway. It's been done for decades!


----------



## nogojones (Dec 11, 2016)

A few years back I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis after a particularly bad flare, which involved months of explosive blood laden Diarrhea, up to 20 times a day and was under the care of a gastroenterology team for a number of years. My job at the time involved covering the UK, often by train. I've never heard of a radar key. No one from the hospital informed me of the posibility of having one and frankly public spaces like train stations (and though they may now be private property, they expect the pubilc to use it) should provide free basic utilities. I jumped the gates in the bogs in Padington countless times cos I'll be fucked if I'm paying them theiving bastards 50p for a shit after paying £120 for a ticket that involved standing up for half the journey.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 11, 2016)

nogojones said:


> A few years back I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis after a particularly bad flare, which involved months of explosive blood laden Diarrhea, up to 20 times a day and was under the care of a gastroenterology team for a number of years. My job at the time involved covering the UK, often by train. I've never heard of a radar key. No one from the hospital informed me of the posibility of having one and frankly public spaces like train stations (and though they may now be private property, they expect the pubilc to use it) should provide free basic utilities. I jumped the gates in the bogs in Padington countless times cos I'll be fucked if I'm paying them theiving bastards 50p for a shit after paying £120 for a ticket that involved standing up for half the journey.


Well maybe there should be more effort made to inform people about them then.

And railway stations have always been private property. That's why you have to follow the rules laid down by the property owner - in this case Network Rail - and why they are entitled to eject anyone who is causing a problem.

And you paid your fare to FGW who were running the trains, not NR who are running the station.  All the money NR gets goes into their operations.


----------



## nogojones (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> And you paid your fare to FGW who were running the trains, not NR who are running the station.  All the money NR gets goes into their operations.


Fuck 'em both. I'll shit where I want


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 11, 2016)

I don't think the private property argument holds water. 
If you own a huge property that's used every day, then IMO, you have an obligation to provide free toilets.


----------



## tommers (Dec 11, 2016)

Anyway,  there's a three day driver strike on Southern next week. Not like the conductor strikes,  this one apparently means "no trains at all".


----------



## nogojones (Dec 11, 2016)

tommers said:


> Anyway,  there's a three day driver strike on Southern next week. Not like the conductor strikes,  this one apparently means "no trains at all".


I only care if the bog attendants are going on strike


----------



## hash tag (Dec 11, 2016)

tommers said:


> Anyway,  there's a three day driver strike on Southern next week. Not like the conductor strikes,  this one apparently means "no trains at all".



I may have misread this, but believe there is a group trying to charter a train or two.


----------



## tommers (Dec 11, 2016)

hash tag said:


> I may have misread this, but believe there is a group trying to charter a train or two.


That's hilarious.  The state of this country. They should carry on with it after the strike,  start their own little train company. 

I'm going to work from home every single day of it.  Obviously.


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## hash tag (Dec 11, 2016)

Sorry. Surrey Southern commuters facing drivers' strike misery


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Dec 11, 2016)

Flippin heck southern

Union members don't loose pay repeatedly for the fun of it


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## Me76 (Dec 11, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> And are you really posting that when some utter cretin just swanned into the thread and  decided to call me a "cunt" FOR NO FUCKING REASON!!  FUCK YOU!!!!!!!



You know what, this is me, swanning into this thread to call you a CUNT for a reason.  The reason being you are a FUCKING CUNT.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 11, 2016)

Miss-Shelf said:


> Flippin heck southern
> 
> Union members don't loose pay repeatedly for the fun of it



Fucking disgusting; government is sitting back doing nothing at all whilst tens of thousands of people are getting fucked over every single day. Seriously, heads should roll, not metaphorically, real heads, lopped off and kicked down Reigate High Street.


----------



## twentythreedom (Dec 11, 2016)

Bloody hell, just read the last few pages ￼￼Bungle73 you need to read back what you've written, and responses, and try to understand why people have got upset by what you've said. Try to find a bit of compassion and self-awareness.


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## two sheds (Dec 11, 2016)

kabbes said:


> The kabbess has permanently worked from home for at least the last five years.  The last only downside is if you don't see anyone, the loneliness very slowly drives you nuts.



i've done that for the last 20 years ... too late


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## nuffsaid (Dec 12, 2016)

http://newsthump.com/2016/12/09/isi...er-nato-hand-mosul-contract-to-southern-rail/

*ISIS transports links decimated after NATO hand Mosul contract to Southern Rail*


----------



## B.I.G (Dec 12, 2016)

Anyone who thinks that there shouldn't be free toilet facilities in all locations used by the public is really stealing oxygen from the rest of us.


----------



## 19sixtysix (Dec 12, 2016)

I'm sure folks know this but the Weatherspoons at Victoria offers a busy but free toilet.
Network rail toilets should be free at all times. I pay enough for my annual oyster to not have to piss about finding change while waiting for a delayed train. 
Oh I have the mechanism to improve the rail company performance.  Tickets barriers must be open and free if train is late.


----------



## nuffsaid (Dec 12, 2016)

Nice line from Alison Moyet stuck at East Croydon today - 

“Britain can never be 'great again' until it can run a sh***ing decent rail service. Sod Brexit. We can't even leave East Croydon. #RailFail”



Yazoo singer Alison Moyet caught in East Croydon 'trainpocalypse'


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## existentialist (Dec 12, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Ah, I see we've been joined by that other mentally deficient person, who also has some kind of obsession with me.


I am not going to get into another punchup with this fool, but just want to note that this is the second time on this thread alone that he's seen fit to hurl around slurs about mental health, because someone disagrees with him.

Quite apart from its offensiveness to the people he attacks in this way, it's a nasty slur on anyone with mental health problems, and a big part of why people still tend to feel stigmatised by having a mental health problem.

These are not just careless words from someone who doesn't know any better: he has no excuse for ignorance. They're deliberately hurtful attacks being made to cause pain and distress. There is no other explanation.


----------



## existentialist (Dec 12, 2016)

kabbes said:


> Bungle, you are an unmitigated shit.  In an internet full of the worst humanity has to offer, you somehow manage to be the most unpleasant individual I have yet come across.  Your petty minded utter lack of any kind of empathy or care is chilling to the bone.  My one crumb of comfort is that I only encounter you briefly and online, whereas you have to live with yourself every day.


I fear that he may be quite happy with that state of affairs


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## hash tag (Dec 12, 2016)

19sixtysix said:


> I'm sure folks know this but the Weatherspoons at Victoria offers a busy but free toilet.
> .



SEE #1965 - Slight problem is they are not very visable or accessable and that place is usually very crowded. I imagine there are other places but can't picture them.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 12, 2016)




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## kabbes (Dec 12, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> View attachment 97019


Just don't travel -- how simple!


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## BigTom (Dec 12, 2016)

so there's an overtime ban (work to rule action I assume?) and this means they can't run any trains at all? What does that say about their standard staffing levels? crazy.


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## existentialist (Dec 12, 2016)

BigTom said:


> so there's an overtime ban (work to rule action I assume?) and this means they can't run any trains at all? What does that say about their standard staffing levels? crazy.


I think that's where it all started. Wasn't it Southern who got rid of a whole bunch of drivers because they didn't understand some fundamental rule about how drivers have to sign for particular routes, etc?


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## tommers (Dec 12, 2016)

This strike is about the same thing as the others. Removing conductors.


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## tommers (Dec 12, 2016)

Has the strike started early or something?

No fucking trains at Clapham Junction due to "extreme staff shortages". 

Absolute shower of fucking  shit heads.


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## tommers (Dec 12, 2016)

Asked the bloke when the next train to Palace was and he started looking up buses.

Gone to Clapham to get a bus. 

Going  to be well over 3 hours journey by the time I get home. 

Useless, useless cunts.


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## tommers (Dec 12, 2016)

Got an uber in the end. Worst commute ever.


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## T & P (Dec 12, 2016)

19sixtysix said:


> I'm sure folks know this but the Weatherspoons at Victoria offers a busy but free toilet.


It is not advertised though so many people will be unaware. And the other pub inside Victoria has a strict patrons-only policy, so much so you need to ask staff for the passcode to punch in at the toilet door.


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## not-bono-ever (Dec 13, 2016)

Southern Rail: Transport Secretary misleads passengers

An interesting read on the rail issues if you have not seen it


----------



## tommers (Dec 13, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> Southern Rail: Transport Secretary misleads passengers
> 
> An interesting read on the rail issues if you have not seen it


Southern originally put the overtime ban in place earlier this year but removed it once they were hauled up about it. The suggestion was that it was done to punish strikers (something the leader of the Green Party called "preposterous" just before it was removed).  Apparently now they're not so fond of it. 

What I ask myself is why a train driver would deprive themselves and their family of overtime payments, and pay for the strike days purely to make some "political point" which is what Grayling is saying. For them to do that they must be worried about either safety or job security and conditions.  In that kind of fight then there's only one side to support.


----------



## Treacle Toes (Dec 13, 2016)

Hell on the overground this morning. That is all.


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Dec 13, 2016)

Rutita1 said:


> Hell on the overground this morning. That is all.


Glad I opted for "working" in the caff to avoid worst excesses


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 13, 2016)

not-bono-ever said:


> Southern Rail: Transport Secretary misleads passengers
> 
> An interesting read on the rail issues if you have not seen it





tommers said:


> Southern originally put the overtime ban in place earlier this year but removed it once they were hauled up about it. The suggestion was that it was done to punish strikers (something the leader of the Green Party called "preposterous" just before it was removed).  Apparently now they're not so fond of it.
> 
> What I ask myself is why a train driver would deprive themselves and their family of overtime payments, and pay for the strike days purely to make some "political point" which is what Grayling is saying. For them to do that they must be worried about either safety or job security and conditions.  In that kind of fight then there's only one side to support.



Tory transport minister in disingenuous-cunt shocker.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Dec 13, 2016)

old chinese proverb- never trust a man in power who is named after a freshwater fish that is classified as neither coarse nor game


----------



## iamwithnail (Dec 13, 2016)

Basically everything Grayling says is a carefully calculated piece of spin.  One of the original fascists-in-a-suit, before it was fashionable again.  My understanding re: overtime ban was - Southern basically don't, and have never had, enough staff, and relied on OT to make up the numbers.  The overtime ban on strikers was therefore a double punishment - loads of people depended on it as it was effectively available on demand, and withdrawing it from strikers made the service *much* worse, which could be blamed on the strike.  Happy to be corrected, although the guy at our station was saying OT is only available to certain people now, and is heavily rationed  - i.e., they're continuing it in another guise.


----------



## kabbes (Dec 13, 2016)

Grayling is now talking about banning strikes on the railways.

Yeah, that's the solution to a private company utterly failing its customers.  Stop the employees of that company from striking.

Surely, this doesn't even make any logical sense from a free market perspective?  Either the railways are a vital national resource or they are not.  If they are, why are we relying on fragmented private companies to run them?  If they are not, how can you put restrictions on the right to withdraw labour?


----------



## iamwithnail (Dec 13, 2016)

Free markets for the rich!


----------



## Dan U (Dec 14, 2016)

kabbes have you gone in on SW Trains at all this week? If so, has parking been even remotely possible at Dorking Station on Southern strike days?

I have to ideally train it to work in Croydon on Friday due to alcohol based plans after work so will have to go to Wimbledon then Tram over, but have the fear I will get to Dorking and it will be rammed with people from Reigate


----------



## kabbes (Dec 14, 2016)

Dan U said:


> kabbes have you gone in on SW Trains at all this week? If so, has parking been even remotely possible at Dorking Station on Southern strike days?
> 
> I have to ideally train it to work in Croydon on Friday due to alcohol based plans after work so will have to go to Wimbledon then Tram over, but have the fear I will get to Dorking and it will be rammed with people from Reigate


Parking is completely impossible on strike days unless you are there by 7am.

As of the start of November, I decided to kill multiple birds with one stone and now park just over a mile away, on the outskirts of the other side of Dorking.  That way I achieve my 10,000 daily steps, get free parking and don't have to stress about parking spaces (or Dorking traffic).  So it no longer affects me.  But by the time I turned up at the station yesterday -- about 7:30am -- I could see drivers in the car park desperately circling, hoping to find a space.


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## Dan U (Dec 14, 2016)

As I feared, wfh and go in later it is

Thanks kabbes


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## Miss-Shelf (Dec 14, 2016)

Ffs
Stayed at work later to avoid southern related travel delays and have now run into Palace fans leaving the ground 

Wait ages for a bus or walk against the crowd


----------



## oryx (Dec 14, 2016)

iamwithnail said:


> My understanding re: overtime ban was - Southern basically don't, and have never had, enough staff, and relied on OT to make up the numbers.



That's my understanding, too.

One thing I've noticed, as will everyone who's a regular traveller on Southern, is that the service is appalling (trains almost invariably late and frequently cancelled) on days when there aren't strikes.

ETA - the whole thing is unbelievable and I do think Labour should be exploiting this shambles more to make a case for renationalisation.


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## iamwithnail (Dec 14, 2016)

The service has been appalling on Southern for the 8 years I've lived here, there's very little difference on strike days, beyond people cramming onto other services just in case, imo.


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 16, 2016)

oryx said:


> That's my understanding, too.
> 
> One thing I've noticed, as will everyone who's a regular traveller on Southern, is that the service is appalling (trains almost invariably late and frequently cancelled) on days when there aren't strikes.
> 
> ETA - the whole thing is unbelievable and I do think Labour should be exploiting this shambles more to make a case for renationalisation.


If the railways were nationalised instead of an isolated strike it would be network-wide strike. Think about that.


----------



## existentialist (Dec 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> If the railways were nationalised instead of an isolated strike it would be network-wide strike. Think about that.


Good. This fragmentary destruction of our rail system would be better addressed on a system-wide basis.

And since it is clear that we can trust neither government nor private enterprise to reflect the best interests of our public transport systems, it falls to those working within them to exercise that role.


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> If the railways were nationalised instead of an isolated strike it would be network-wide strike. Think about that.


This would be a good thing ultimately


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 16, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> This would be a good thing ultimately


Really? It was the DfT's meddling that started this dispute in the first place. It was also they that made it so Southern get money whatever, even if not one passenger purchases a ticket, so they have little incentive to end this dispute quickly.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Really? It was the DfT's meddling that started this dispute in the first place. It was also they that made it so Southern get money whatever, even if not one passenger purchases a ticket, so they have little incentive to end this dispute quickly.



And they can do it with one franchise, shut the whole country down and government has to sort their act out.


----------



## existentialist (Dec 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Really? It was the DfT's meddling that started this dispute in the first place. It was also they that made it so Southern get money whatever, even if not one passenger purchases a ticket, so they have little incentive to end this dispute quickly.


You're not thinking the big enough picture. It's not the details of the government's grubby little deal with Southern that's the problem here, it's the whole fucked-up stitchup that was the railway privatisation setup in the first place.

I hope the unions succeed in ripping Southern and the DfT new arseholes each, so they can fart "On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At" duets together.


----------



## existentialist (Dec 16, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> And they can do it with one franchise, shut the whole country down and government has to sort their act out.


Good point. If the government were going to make themselves hostages to fortune with a single franchise, they picked a peach in Southern


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> Really? It was the DfT's meddling that started this dispute in the first place. It was also they that made it so Southern get money whatever, even if not one passenger purchases a ticket, so they have little incentive to end this dispute quickly.


It was the privatisation of the railways which caused all of this


----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 16, 2016)

Orang Utan said:


> It was the privatisation of the railways which caused all of this


How is that exactly? The dispute is entirely down to the government's policy. Why would it be any different if BR were still around?


----------



## Orang Utan (Dec 16, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> How is that exactly? The dispute is entirely down to the government's policy. Why would it be any different if BR were still around?


See Bahnhof Strasse 's previous reply. Union resistance would be national.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 16, 2016)

It's almost as if Thatcher's plan was to make the worker, via his union, helpless.


----------



## existentialist (Dec 16, 2016)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It's almost as if Thatcher's plan was to make the worker, via his union, helpless.


No!  Say it ain't so...


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 21, 2016)

*Southern Rail passengers have been left bemused by news that no one at Southern Rail is on strike today.*

The company, which has faced industrial action from staff every day since 1492, has stated that it intends to run a ‘normal’ service.

“To be honest, it’s really freaked me out,” said hollow-eyed, soul-crushed Southern commuter Simon Williams.

“I just got to the station this morning at 3am as usual to queue for hours for a bus that may or may not arrive, then all of a sudden this massive green and white tube roared alongside the platform.

“I’ll be honest, I shat myself before I realised that it was actually a train, and you can use them to get to work.”

But Mr Williams was one of the lucky ones, who could remember what a train was.

“Oh God, yeah, it was awful. There was this young girl, a student I think, and she must have never seen a train before, you know, if you grow up in the Southern Rail area then I guess that’s not that unusual, and she just lost it.

“She just ran out of the station screaming. Poor thing.”

It was thought that the network would remain strike-free tomorrow as well, but the union of little men who sell lighters outside stations has just announced a two-day strike because Southern Rail is such a catastrophic collection of bastards.


----------



## nuffsaid (Dec 22, 2016)

Now Southern Rail wants to delay you by road!

Southern train swaps rail for road, causing fresh delays


----------



## ffsear (Dec 22, 2016)




----------



## Bungle73 (Dec 22, 2016)

ffsear said:


>



That is reaaally annoying, and he can't even get his facts right.


----------



## existentialist (Dec 22, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> That is reaaally annoying, and he can't even get his facts right.


I can only imagine how upsetting that must be for you.


----------



## ffsear (Dec 22, 2016)

Bungle73 said:


> That is reaaally annoying, and he can't even get his facts right.



Would you like a pinch of salt?


----------



## treelover (Jan 5, 2017)

Apparently the One Show covered the rail strikes today, but FB posters are saying they portrayed the strikers(or people behind them), etc as 'sinister, lots of images of placards, etc..


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jan 6, 2017)

I'm getting used to these strikes. The alt routes available to my wife and I (our tickets can be used on the overground on strike days and the thameslink to blackfrairs is quite a nice ride) are not that bad, plus we get the full return fare refunded by delay repay. 

Shame to see the media spin on it. It will be horrendous if you end up with packed trains with thousands of people on board and only one person looking after them. . . . And drive the train.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 9, 2017)

Fuckin hell -go the train into London bridge today - it was like a re-enactment of the last chopper out of Saigon .People don't cope well outside their comfort zone do they ?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 9, 2017)

clapham junction currently closed - fire alert or something...


----------



## kabbes (Jan 9, 2017)

In a moment of irony, I took an alternative route this morning to avoid using the tube, it happened to work smoothly (via some minor miracle) and I arrived earlier at work than I normally do.


----------



## ska invita (Jan 9, 2017)

I managed to get in to work via a sneaky route on a certain train that only runs twice a day (though it meant getting to work 30 mins early), but its hell out there....just saw a queue 300 deep, snaking around the block for taxis outside St Pancras 

Good day for taxi drivers

I quite like seeing so many people walking around


----------



## tommers (Jan 9, 2017)

I'm working from home. 

I am also going to work from home tomorrow,  the next day and Friday (thank you Southern). 

I might do it Thursday as well as the trains will all be in the wrong place and last time I travelled the day before a strike it took 3 and a half hours to get home and I ended up getting a fucking uber. 

This country.


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Jan 9, 2017)

The  one good thing is that delay repay is pretty much canceling out the cost of my monthly ticket.


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jan 9, 2017)

ska invita said:


> I quite like seeing so many people walking around


 
Its great in theory and I know where you are coming from, but the amount of near misses and near suicidal behaviour I saw this morning by people just not used to dealing with walking about was quite incredible


----------



## ska invita (Jan 9, 2017)

This traffic drone fly over is quite entertaining
Tube strike: all lines hit and most central London stations closed – live updates


----------



## ska invita (Jan 9, 2017)

tommers said:


> I'm working from home.
> 
> I am also going to work from home tomorrow,  the next day and Friday (thank you Southern).
> 
> ...


Sounds good to me - id love to be doing that


----------



## tommers (Jan 9, 2017)

ska invita said:


> Sounds good to me - id love to be doing that


I much prefer it to fucking commuting. 

Thanks ASLEF.


----------



## ska invita (Jan 9, 2017)

tommers said:


> I much prefer it to fucking commuting.
> 
> Thanks ASLEF.


Oi, get off urban and do some work. Just because you're at home doesn't mean it isn't a work day..




And get out of your pyjamas  

*im the only one who has made it in here....


----------



## Artaxerxes (Jan 9, 2017)

I had to get up and make myself a pot of tea and turn the PC on, oh and plug in the work phone.


Awful trip.


----------



## tommers (Jan 9, 2017)

Apparently Clapham Junction was closed due to overcrowding.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 9, 2017)

ska invita said:


> Sounds good to me - id love to be doing that


----------



## existentialist (Jan 9, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> View attachment 98514


Smug bastard. I have to go down a flight of stairs


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 9, 2017)

existentialist said:


> Smug bastard. I have to go down a flight of stairs



Plans are afoot at Bahn Industries to increase my commute to two flights of stairs. I've got the union involved now though...


----------



## existentialist (Jan 9, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Plans are afoot at Bahn Industries to increase my commute to two flights of stairs. I've got the union involved now though...


Stand your ground! Or carpet, whatever.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 9, 2017)

existentialist said:


> Stand your ground! Or carpet, whatever.



May have to light a fire in a brassiere.


----------



## existentialist (Jan 9, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> May have to light a fire in a brassiere.


----------



## Bonfirelight (Jan 9, 2017)

Having thus far avoided the recent train chaos, i now need a pro tip from an expert traveller as I need to train it from London to Three Bridges tomorrow.

Am I better off getting the Thameslink from Blackfriars or the Gatwick Express from Victoria (and then bussing it from there)?

I assume both will be packed of course, but want to know which is most likely to actually run


----------



## mojo pixy (Jan 9, 2017)

Brand new bike to work today. So it was the new bike, downhill all the way, through two parks, fifteen minutes door to door. Not particularly fucking or nightmarish, and definitely no bastard (even in slight rain). 
Anyway, apologies for the off-topic and slightly smug post.


----------



## Me76 (Jan 13, 2017)

Just been talking to my mate who works as ticket office staff for Southern.  He's had a great time this week as for the three strike days the bastards have had to pay him to go in and watch films and play cards with the other station staff.  

Tbf, they are the ones next in the list for Southern, so I do not resent them it at all.  

He was saying they had great fun watching a bloke who crawled under the shutter, and jumped the barrier to wait for 40 minutes on the platform, before he came and complained there were no trains.  They made him go out the way he came in


----------



## Orang Utan (Jan 13, 2017)

Are ticket office staff in a different union from the striking staff?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jan 13, 2017)

Orang Utan said:


> Are ticket office staff in a different union from the striking staff?


 
depends which strike / employer

drivers are mostly ASLEF although some are RMT (drivers are in dispute on Southern but not broadly the Underground - although it has come close to a localised strike on the Piccadilly Line over various issues)

station / platform staff (who as far as i'm aware aren't currently in dispute with Southern but are with the Underground) are mostly RMT

guards / conductors (currently in dispute with Southern) are almost all RMT

ticket office staff (including those displaced to other jobs on the Underground) are either RMT or TSSA (in dispute on Underground - not quite sure if they are on Southern yet, but give it time - Southern also want to close most ticket offices)


----------



## iamwithnail (Jan 16, 2017)

Was going to be lazy and train in today, forgot it was a strike day - 3 trains cancelled from PMR to VIC, and the previous two delayed by 40 min.  Woman at the desk next to me still isn't in, just took me bike in instead.


----------



## Me76 (Jan 22, 2017)

So I think I may have missed out on shedloads of Southern money.  

I recently started changing my default delay replay claim time to over 1 your rather than the 30 - 59 mins I was doing previously and I'm now getting twice as much.  

If only I'd known earlier!!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 26, 2017)

Evil person sitting on the opposite aisle seat from me this morning - coughing repeatedly with his fucking mouth open, not even bothing to cover it.  Then had his breakfast - eating with his mouth open.   

I also sat next to someone the other day chewing gum in a masticating frenzy with her mouth open.  What is wrong with people.


----------



## A380 (Jan 28, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Evil person sitting on the opposite aisle seat from me this morning - coughing repeatedly with his fucking mouth open, not even bothing to cover it.  Then had his breakfast - eating with his mouth open.
> 
> I also sat next to someone the other day chewing gum in a masticating frenzy with her mouth open.  What is wrong with people.


Under a little know piece of legislation you are allowed to frenziedly stab them as long as you don't make eye contact with fellow passengers.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jan 28, 2017)

A380 said:


> Under a little know piece of legislation you are allowed to frenziedly stab them as long as you don't make eye contact with fellow passengers.


Cool - thanks for letting me know.


----------



## discobastard (Jan 28, 2017)

Me76 said:


> So I think I may have missed out on shedloads of Southern money.
> 
> I recently started changing my default delay replay claim time to over 1 your rather than the 30 - 59 mins I was doing previously and I'm now getting twice as much.
> 
> If only I'd known earlier!!


How do you mean? I thought they compared claims against actual arrival times. What kind of ticket do you have?

And does anybody know whether you can claim actual journeys as well as the season ticket refund they are now doing (even if you just have an Oyster travel card)? Am gonna try for both. 

It is a bit of a PITA doing individual journeys but Raildar does make it easier. 

Normally I could be arsed with all the admin but I want to get as much money back out of this shower of bastards as I can.


----------



## Me76 (Jan 28, 2017)

discobastard said:


> How do you mean? I thought they compared claims against actual arrival times. What kind of ticket do you have?
> 
> And does anybody know whether you can claim actual journeys as well as the season ticket refund they are now doing (even if you just have an Oyster travel card)? Am gonna try for both.
> 
> ...


They checked against actual train times for a bit and I had a few claims denied.  But when they had the changed timetable I don't think they bother.  My last weeks worth of claims I have put the longest delay time in and they have paid me the maximum. Even though my delay is only about 20 minutes


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 31, 2017)

Southwest Trains are having a day of it; person hit by a train between Woking and Surbition and a second poor soul hit between Subiton and Wimbledon:


Trains between London Waterloo and Chessington South running to Chessingon South but will not run to London Waterloo - You will need to use London Buses (Please refer to the alternative travel map at www.journeycheck.southwesttrains.co.uk) to complete your journey. 
Trains between London Waterloo and Hampton Court will not be running in either direction - You will need to use London Buses (Please refer to the alternative travel map at www.journeycheck.southwesttrains.co.uk)
Trains between London Waterloo and Exeter/Salisbury will terminate and start from Basingstoke. 
Trains between London Waterloo and Basingstoke (stopping) will not run. 
Trains between London Waterloo and Guildford via Cobham will run via Epsom where crew knowledge permits. 
Trains between Waterloo and Shepperton will be diverted to run via Richmond in both directions, and will not all at stations between Teddington & Earlsfield.
Trains between London Waterloo and Woking (stopping) will not run. 
Trains between London Waterloo and Weymouth/Bournemouth will terminate and start at Basingstoke. 
Trains between London Waterloo and Portsmouth Harbour will terminate and start at Guildford.
Trains between London Waterloo and Alton will not run. 
Trains between London Waterloo and London Waterloo via Kingston will not run.
Trains between London Waterloo and London Waterloo via Twickenham will not run. 
Good luck to anyone caught up in that.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 31, 2017)

Jesus; no trains on my line from Waterloo at all until tomorrow now. Thank fuck not in town today!


----------



## kabbes (Jan 31, 2017)

Just got on a Dorking one. Was about to give up and head to London Bridge because it wasn't even on the list of trains on the board at Waterloo, but then it suddenly turned up regardless.


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Feb 3, 2017)

Just saw a DB logo engine pulling a cargo load round clapham junction


----------



## Me76 (Feb 10, 2017)

I just got an email!



> *Compensation for 2016 season ticket holders
> 
> Hi Me76,
> 
> ...


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 25, 2017)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 10, 2017)

Platforms 1-4 out of action @ Waterloo until 3pm.

So all trains on the Portsmouth line which don't use platforms 1-4 are cancelled


----------



## NoXion (Apr 10, 2017)

Late Western Failway have cancelled my usual train home and I now have to wait an extra half an hour to get home. Fucking cunts!


----------



## NoXion (Apr 10, 2017)

It's made worse by these really shitty narrow benches that one has to perch on or risk falling off. What fucking dick-faced shithead thought that making seating uncomfortable was a good idea? I feel for those poor sods with mobility issues.


----------



## BigTom (Apr 10, 2017)

NoXion said:


> It's made worse by these really shitty narrow benches that one has to perch on or risk falling off. What fucking dick-faced shithead thought that making seating uncomfortable was a good idea? I feel for those poor sods with mobility issues.



afaik they get designed like that to prevent homeless people sleeping on them  (pretty sure that's true for bus shelters anyway. See also: why they put arms in the middle of benches and make round/circular benches)


----------



## NoXion (Apr 10, 2017)

BigTom said:


> afaik they get designed like that to prevent homeless people sleeping on them  (pretty sure that's true for bus shelters anyway. See also: why they put arms in the middle of benches and make round/circular benches)



I suspected as much. It's disgusting and betrays a rotten state in the souls of those who design that shit. How the fuck do they live with themselves?


----------



## NoXion (Apr 10, 2017)

Just look at this shit. I was actually more comfortable sitting on the floor. Maybe it's a bit better for people who haven't got a bony arse like me, but I could find no position on those seats that was comfortable for more than three minutes. And I'm a reasonably healthy young adult. What about the elderly and infirm?


----------



## Bungle73 (Apr 10, 2017)

NoXion said:


> I suspected as much. It's disgusting and betrays a rotten state in the souls of those who design that shit. How the fuck do they live with themselves?


Oh don't talk rubbish. Because everyone wants to be confronted by some smelly drug addled tramp when they're waiting for a train don't they? It's a railway station not a doss house.

I'm sure lone women (or anyone else for that matter) like nothing better than having to wait for a train alongside the above who might do god knows what to them......


----------



## NoXion (Apr 10, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh don't talk rubbish. Because everyone wants to be confronted by some smelly drug addled tramp when they're waiting for a train don't they? It's a railway station not a doss house.
> 
> I'm sure lone women (or anyone else for that matter) like nothing better than having to wait for a train alongside the above who might do god knows what to them......



Speaking as someone who's had to spend nights without a roof over my head, go fuck yourself. I was nearly assaulted by some twat one night because I had the temerity to try and catch a nap on a park bench. You know where I eventually found peace? In a recycling bin. Luckily for me there wasn't a collection that morning, or I could have finished up my cold night crushed to death.

Not to mention that plenty of homeless people are themselves assaulted, so your deployment of the dehumanising "smelly drug addled tramp" (gosh, I wonder why the homeless might not be able to maintain their personal hygiene? ) trope is particularly repellent in light of that fact. Especially since rampant austerity means that the homeless have increasingly fewer means to pick themselves up. To reiterate, go fuck yourself.


----------



## neonwilderness (Apr 10, 2017)

NoXion said:


> Speaking as someone who's had to spend nights without a roof over my head, go fuck yourself. I was nearly assaulted by some twat one night because I had the temerity to try and catch a nap on a park bench. You know where I eventually found peace? In a recycling bin. Luckily for me there wasn't a collection that morning, or I could have finished up my cold night crushed to death.
> 
> Not to mention that plenty of homeless people are themselves assaulted, so your deployment of the dehumanising "smelly drug addled tramp" (gosh, I wonder why the homeless might not be able to maintain their personal hygiene? ) trope is particularly repellent in light of that fact. Especially since rampant austerity means that the homeless have incerasing fewer means to pick themselves up. To reiterate, go fuck yourself.


At least you didn't have to sit next to Bungle73 while he waited for a train though


----------



## TruXta (Apr 10, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh don't talk rubbish. Because everyone wants to be confronted by some smelly drug addled tramp when they're waiting for a train don't they? It's a railway station not a doss house.
> 
> I'm sure lone women (or anyone else for that matter) like nothing better than having to wait for a train alongside the above who might do god knows what to them......


You're deeply unpleasant waste of skin aren't you?


----------



## Bungle73 (Apr 10, 2017)

Fancy wanting pax to feel safe and not fear assault, robbery, or worse. Fancy expecting a station to not be an appealing place to wait with all sorts hanging about.


----------



## NoXion (Apr 10, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> Fancy wanting pax to feel safe and not fear assault, robbery, or worse. Fancy expecting a station to not be an appealing place to wait with all sorts hanging about.



If you'd actually read the link I provided then you would know that the homeless are more likely to be victims of assault than the general public. Largely I suspect because of loathsome attitudes like yours. "All sorts", for fuck's sake.

Also, I'd consider seating that is so uncomfortable that sitting on the floor is a more comfortable alternative, takes away more from the appeal of a place than the presence of the occasional homeless person.


----------



## kittyP (Apr 10, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> Oh don't talk rubbish. Because everyone wants to be confronted by some smelly drug addled tramp when they're waiting for a train don't they? It's a railway station not a doss house.
> 
> I'm sure lone women (or anyone else for that matter) like nothing better than having to wait for a train alongside the above who might do god knows what to them......



Speaking as a "lone woman" who often travels by public transport, if I see someone homeless has found somewhere warmer/safer/more comfortable to sleep I think "oh thank goodness for the them" not "aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh help"


----------



## kittyP (Apr 10, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> Fancy wanting pax to feel safe and not fear assault, robbery, or worse. Fancy expecting a station to not be an appealing place to wait with all sorts hanging about.



I've been more harassed by city boys in suits than homeless people in my life.
Seriously!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 8, 2017)




----------



## twentythreedom (May 8, 2017)

Irked enough to bump this shit  What a world to live in, where homeless = violent criminal. Jesus 

Some years back I was properly street homeless for about 6 months, now I'm just sorry I didn't get to punch Bungle73 in the face at a bus stop. Twat 

Sigh. There's no point


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 8, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> View attachment 106216



I think SE Trains decided there was only one way to deal with this


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 24, 2017)

Was going to go to the London office this morning for the first time in a long time. 90 minute delays due to broken points at Byfleet and fucked signals between Clapham & Waterloo. They are advising people not to travel if they don't have to, as if those 10's of 1000's of people paying through the fucking nose to cram on to their trains each day are doing it for the shits & giggles.

And August, well, SWT are writing August off all together. God help anyone who needs to physically be in town each day.


----------



## kabbes (Jul 24, 2017)

I stuck on the train to Victoria instead of Waterloo... and then promptly had a 30 minute delay trying to get into the Victoria underground.  Is it always like that at Victoria, or did I just get unlucky?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 24, 2017)

kabbes said:


> I stuck on the train to Victoria instead of Waterloo... and then promptly had a 30 minute delay trying to get into the Victoria underground.  Is it always like that at Victoria, or did I just get unlucky?



It's always like that at Victoria, often faster to walk to St. James' Park. Worked in Victoria for 2 1/2 years, hated every minute of it, cruddiest area of central London.


----------



## kabbes (Jul 24, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It's always like that at Victoria, often faster to walk to St. James' Park. Worked in Victoria for 2 1/2 years, hated every minute of it, cruddiest area of central London.


I was in two minds about walking to SJP actually, but was so indecisive that by the time I got round to the resolution I was totally hemmed in by people and it wasn't worth it.

Going to Victoria was my plan for August, so I guess to make it work I will have to build in time for walking to SJP.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jul 24, 2017)

Never had a problem getting into the Tube at Victoria just after the peak; but if the issues on the line into Waterloo are causing people to use Victoria instead that would probably explain it.


----------



## cybershot (Jul 24, 2017)

Ah the joys of the kids being off, roadworks here there and everywhere, all traffic that normally joins the A38expressway from the actual A38 or Erdington now has to do a dog legged route around Birmingham. Joy. Added an hour to my journey this morning.


----------



## kabbes (Jul 24, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> Never had a problem getting into the Tube at Victoria just after the peak; but if the issues on the line into Waterloo are causing people to use Victoria instead that would probably explain it.


Have you much experience of it at about 8:45am?


----------



## ChrisFilter (Jul 24, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It's always like that at Victoria, often faster to walk to St. James' Park. Worked in Victoria for 2 1/2 years, hated every minute of it, cruddiest area of central London.



Yeah, Victoria is a fucking hole. Nothing good happens there.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 24, 2017)

cybershot said:


> Ah the joys of the kids being off, roadworks here there and everywhere, all traffic that normally joins the A38expressway from the actual A38 or Erdington now has to do a dog legged route around Birmingham. Joy. Added an hour to my journey this morning.




Jesus, in my mind the A38 is the Devon Expressway, thought that's one hell of a dog-leg if you have to go round Brum!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Jul 24, 2017)

Annoying old woman on the train today.   Had her bag on the aisle seat (which I'd reserved), so politely asked her to move it as I'd reserved the seat.  She dismissively said there are other seats empty.  Yeah, but it gets very busy from this station so fuck right off and move your fucking bag.


----------



## Bungle73 (Jul 24, 2017)

kabbes said:


> Have you much experience of it at about 8:45am?


You didn't say it was 8:45. You posted at quarter past eleven and made it sound like it had just happened.


----------



## kabbes (Jul 24, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> You didn't say it was 8:45. You posted at quarter past eleven and made it sound like it had just happened.


Ok, my apologies for not being blisteringly clear that I was talking about commuting at commuting time on the commuting thread.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 24, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> And August, well, SWT are writing August off all together. God help anyone who needs to physically be in town each day



blargh


----------



## nuffsaid (Jul 26, 2017)

Was stuck in a long line of traffic on the A281 crawling at about 20mph behind a traction engine!  What century is this? 

As if that wasn't bad enough behind it were 2 (yes two) dumper lorries who were too slow to accelerate passed the flipping thing when it was clear the other way. There wasn't a long enough stretch of straight road for them to overtake. Was behind this monstrosity for about 8 miles adding a good 20mins+ to my commute as I end up in worse traffic in Guildford if I arrive there post 7:35am.

What's the chances of encountering the flaming thing on the way home? I'm about to find out.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 26, 2017)

Traction engine


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 26, 2017)

you sound a bit steamed up...


----------



## kabbes (Jul 26, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Traction engine


Still better than SouthWest Trains.


----------



## OzT (Jul 27, 2017)

kabbes said:


> Still better than SouthWest Trains.


 
Southern kabbes, I think you mean Southern. SWT is the perfect train service . .  

(have to say that in case IT is monitoring my internet)


----------



## nuffsaid (Jul 27, 2017)

No traction engines today......small mercies.


----------



## kabbes (Jul 27, 2017)

OzT said:


> Southern kabbes, I think you mean Southern. SWT is the perfect train service . .
> 
> (have to say that in case IT is monitoring my internet)


No, 10 years of commuting has made me loathe SWT with a passion.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jul 27, 2017)

kabbes said:


> No, 10 years of commuting has made me loathe SWT with a passion.



Perhaps you've just been unlucky?


----------



## nuffsaid (Aug 15, 2017)

Your fucking nightmare of a bastard commute is going to get a lot more expensive - Rail fares to rise by up to 3.6% - BBC News


----------



## Bungle73 (Aug 15, 2017)

kabbes said:


> Ok, my apologies for not being blisteringly clear that I was talking about commuting at commuting time on the commuting thread.


You think that every person in the country all travel into work at the same time of day do you?


----------



## existentialist (Aug 15, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> You think that every person in the country all travel into work at the same time of day do you?


He said that nearly a month ago. Your facepalm is tardy. 

(I can say these things without fear of Urban melting down, because my bungling friend has me on ignore. If only I could remember what it was I did to achieve this, I would share it with you all. I expect I was right about something )


----------



## kabbes (Aug 15, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> You think that every person in the country all travel into work at the same time of day do you?


Alright Bungle.  Thank you for your usual helpful assistance.  Well done you.


----------



## existentialist (Aug 15, 2017)

kabbes said:


> Alright Bungle.  Thank you for your usual helpful assistance.  Well done you.


You deserved it, though.

For not agreeing 100% with him. On everything. Even the stuff he didn't say.

Honestly!


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 15, 2017)

south west trains status has been revised to "pretty comprehensively buggered"

blargh


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Aug 16, 2017)

Puddy_Tat said:


> south west trains status has been revised to "pretty comprehensively buggered"
> 
> blargh



Half of Waterloo closed for the month, the other half shut cos SWT are shit, they are losing their franchise and don't care any more. A clearer case for re-nationalisation it is harder to imagine.


----------



## magneze (Aug 16, 2017)

Last night: don't travel tomorrow 
This morning: oh, it's OK actually 
At the station: you want a train? Bwahahaa


----------



## teuchter (Aug 16, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Half of Waterloo closed for the month, the other half shut cos SWT are shit, they are losing their franchise and don't care any more. A clearer case for re-nationalisation it is harder to imagine.


As far as I understand, none of the problems at Waterloo - the points failures, the derailed train - have been SWT's fault. If anyone, it is the nationalised Network Rail which has been responsible. Not a very clear case really.


----------



## OzT (Aug 17, 2017)

Which is why I think the trains will be running as scheduled. They can't afford the punitive fines should the works over run. Though it strikes me strange as the fines will be paid to the board, which is goverment owned, by Network Rail, which again is goverment owned, so it really is then I guess a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul, just moving monies round different accounts.


----------



## teuchter (Aug 17, 2017)

I thought the fines in such situations were effectively paid to the train operators to compensate them for lost revenue etc.


----------



## OzT (Aug 17, 2017)

You could be right teuchter, that would make more sense!

Either way,it'll be heapsa money, so I think trains will be back to normal tuesday, but maybe weekend closures to finish off any unfinished business


----------



## teuchter (Aug 17, 2017)

OzT said:


> You could be right teuchter, that would make more sense!
> 
> Either way,it'll be heapsa money, so I think trains will be back to normal tuesday, but maybe weekend closures to finish off any unfinished business


Rail 725: the bewildering world of compensation |  Christian Wolmar


----------



## teuchter (Aug 17, 2017)

OzT said:


> You could be right teuchter, that would make more sense!
> 
> Either way,it'll be heapsa money, so I think trains will be back to normal tuesday, but maybe weekend closures to finish off any unfinished business


Do you mean the Tuesday after bank holiday weekend?
They'll of course be motivated by the financial penalties to finish on time.
At the same time, if it's not finished, it's not finished. You can't run trains into half finished platforms.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 17, 2017)

Too bloody hot on this train. Cross country always have shitty defective air conditioning.


----------



## Badgers (Aug 18, 2017)

My train hell - Demand the rail industry puts passengers first


----------



## kabbes (Aug 21, 2017)

First day back from holiday.

Not only are there no Waterloo trains (of course) but the Victoria train is late and, more seriously, half length.  At Dorking, it is already standing room only.  What will it be like by the time it gets to Victoria in an hour?

Welcome back kabbes to the commute.


----------



## magneze (Aug 21, 2017)

Yesterday I tried the 12km cycle to work on a hired bike. Was surprised at how easy it was. Bit sore today but time to get a bike I think.


----------



## EastEnder (Aug 21, 2017)

magneze said:


> Yesterday I tried the 12km cycle to work on a hired bike. Was surprised at how easy it was. Bit sore today but time to get a bike I think.


At your age your should be firmly in the middle of a mid-life crisis, so rather than getting a puny bicycle, I would suggest you get a motorbike. Aim for something really big & massively powerful - way more than you can realistically handle.


----------



## magneze (Aug 21, 2017)

EastEnder said:


> At your age your should be firmly in the middle of a mid-life crisis, so rather than getting a puny bicycle, I would suggest you get a motorbike. Aim for something really big & massively powerful - way more than you can realistically handle.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 21, 2017)

There are loads of screaming horrible children on the train.


----------



## EastEnder (Aug 21, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> There are loads of screaming horrible children on the train.


Have you tried putting salt on them? I know it works for slugs, and they're very annoying too...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 21, 2017)

EastEnder said:


> Have you tried putting salt on them? I know it works for slugs, and they're very annoying too...


I don't think salt would be strong enough.


----------



## kabbes (Aug 21, 2017)

kabbes said:


> First day back from holiday.
> 
> Not only are there no Waterloo trains (of course) but the Victoria train is late and, more seriously, half length.  At Dorking, it is already standing room only.  What will it be like by the time it gets to Victoria in an hour?
> 
> Welcome back kabbes to the commute.


And now my train home is cancelled.

Aren't our trains just grand?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Aug 21, 2017)

kabbes said:


> And now my train home is cancelled.
> 
> Aren't our trains just grand?



Look on the bright side - you might have to walk home, but at least you don't have to listen to a cacophony of screaming brats.


----------



## Winot (Aug 21, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Look on the bright side - you might have to walk home, but at least you don't have to listen to a cacophony of screaming brats.



Fancy that - the public using public transport.


----------



## teuchter (Aug 21, 2017)

kabbes said:


> And now my train home is cancelled.
> 
> Aren't our trains just grand?



One of Europe's busiest and biggest stations is being partially rebuilt. This lasts for about two weeks and has been advertised long in advance. If you're a season ticket holder whose normal commute goes into Waterloo you get free travel for those two weeks. What is it that the hard-done-by people of Surrey would have liked to have been done differently?


----------



## teuchter (Aug 21, 2017)

Also: the south east of England has the best railway service in the whole of the UK and one of the most comprehensive anywhere in Europe. Commuter tickets are subsidised and let the people of the home counties live amidst pleasant countryside and have access to the best paid jobs in Britain. That same commuter-land rather consistently votes for governments who fail to invest in the railways and public transport in general. A cancelled commuter train from London generally means you get home half an hour or an hour late. Meanwhile, in other parts of Britain, if you commute by public transport you might be lucky if you have two services to choose from in each direction.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Aug 21, 2017)

teuchter said:


> If you're a season ticket holder whose normal commute goes into Waterloo you get free travel for those two weeks





is this only for annual season ticket holders?


----------



## kabbes (Aug 21, 2017)

teuchter said:


> One of Europe's busiest and biggest stations is being partially rebuilt. This lasts for about two weeks and has been advertised long in advance. If you're a season ticket holder whose normal commute goes into Waterloo you get free travel for those two weeks. What is it that the hard-done-by people of Surrey would have liked to have been done differently?


Don't cancel the trains out of Victoria?


----------



## teuchter (Aug 21, 2017)

Puddy_Tat said:


> is this only for annual season ticket holders?


Refund for SWT season ticket holders affected by Waterloo works


----------



## teuchter (Aug 21, 2017)

kabbes said:


> Don't cancel the trains out of Victoria?


I've just checked departures from Victoria this evening between 5 and 6pm. 43 Scheduled departures. 3 of them were cancelled. It seems to me relatively understandable that some things might go wrong when there's a temporarily altered timetable and when certain services are much busier than usual. But 3 out of 43 at peak hour doesn't indicate to me a wholesale catastrophic breakdown.


----------



## kabbes (Aug 21, 2017)

teuchter said:


> Also: the south east of England has the best railway service in the whole of the UK and one of the most comprehensive anywhere in Europe. Commuter tickets are subsidised and let the people of the home counties live amidst pleasant countryside and have access to the best paid jobs in Britain. That same commuter-land rather consistently votes for governments who fail to invest in the railways and public transport in general. A cancelled commuter train from London generally means you get home half an hour or an hour late. Meanwhile, in other parts of Britain, if you commute by public transport you might be lucky if you have two services to choose from in each direction.


Also: this is bollocks.  When train after train is cancelled (ALL the trains to Horsham were cancelled for at least 90 minutes this evening), all trains are horribly overcrowded and then the ones that actually turn up are half-length to boot, when virtually no train ever arrives actually on time, and when you are paying £4000 a year for the privilege of this shit service, I think you have a right to note that things aren't great without some supercilious twat telling you that you should be grateful because it could theoretically be even worse.


----------



## kabbes (Aug 21, 2017)

teuchter said:


> I've just checked departures from Victoria this evening between 5 and 6pm. 43 Scheduled departures. 3 of them were cancelled. It seems to me relatively understandable that some things might go wrong when there's a temporarily altered timetable and when certain services are much busier than usual. But 3 out of 43 at peak hour doesn't indicate to me a wholesale catastrophic breakdown.


Fuck that.  You think that a failure to run a full 7% of services is acceptable?  And that doesn't even account for when it is your train (which only goes twice an hour) that is cancelled twice on the trot, at which point the failure rate is 100%.


----------



## teuchter (Aug 22, 2017)

kabbes said:


> Also: this is bollocks.  When train after train is cancelled (ALL the trains to Horsham were cancelled for at least 90 minutes this evening), all trains are horribly overcrowded and then the ones that actually turn up are half-length to boot, when virtually no train ever arrives actually on time, and when you are paying £4000 a year for the privilege of this shit service, I think you have a right to note that things aren't great without some supercilious twat telling you that you should be grateful because it could theoretically be even worse.



This evening - Victoria-Horsham services:
1647 left 3 mins late
1720 cancelled
1750 cancelled
1820 left 10 mins late
1910 cancelled
1920 left 20 mins late
1940 left on time

Clearly not a good evening for those who use the Horsham service and if that happened every or most nights then of course that would be a terrible service; however here are the figures for the same services over three months preceding the Waterloo closure:

1647 ran on 93% of all weekdays, average delay on arrival 6.5 minutes
1720 ran on 97% of all weekdays, average delay on arrival 1.5 minutes
1750 ran on 98% of all weekdays, average delay on arrival 1 minute
1820 ran on 100% of all weekdays, average delay on arrival 1.5 minutes
1910 ran on 98% of all weekdays, average delay on arrival 7.5 minutes
1920 ran on 100% of all weekdays, average delay on arrival 1.5 minutes
1940 ran on 98% of all weekdays, average delay on arrival 6 minutes

I know there are issues with short-formed trains on many routes. A load of new trains have just been delivered for (ex)SWT and part of the whole purpose of the Waterloo upgrade is to massively increase capacity and allow longer trains to run.


----------



## teuchter (Aug 22, 2017)

kabbes said:


> Fuck that.  You think that a failure to run a full 7% of services is acceptable?



What's acceptable, or realistic?

Do you know how reliability/punctuality in the UK compares with other modern European countries? A lot of people seem to think they do, but it turns out they haven't a clue.


----------



## kabbes (Aug 22, 2017)

These cancellations wouldn't happen with sufficient investment in infrastructure.  Trains breaking down, signal failures, lack of staff -- it's all signs of money not being spent.  There were no adverse weather conditions last night, there was no excuse.

It's a closed and highly predictable system.  To the nearest 1%, 100% of services should run with the exception of a handful of days in the year.  The same proportion should be on time.  Most problems occur due to knock on effects, so eliminate this.  Well resourced industries manage 99.5%+ success rates despite not having similar levels of control over their own affairs.

The fact that you are happy with a 7% rate of total cancellation, let alone all the trains that are late (which cause missed connections) is an appalling indictment of where we have got to.


----------



## teuchter (Aug 22, 2017)

I've not said that I'm happy with a rate of 7% cancellation. I said that things going wrong whilst very major engineering works are taking place is understandable. And that a 7% rate of cancellation during the peak hour does not indicate things going horribly wrong. I've also given you the real figures averaged over time that show a cancellation rate of around 2.3%.

I am always arguing for more investment in rail and public transport in general. I would like to see things work better. The truth is though that, compared to other rail systems around the world, ours isn't that bad. Chasing percentage points in reliability on a dense and very complicated network like that in and around London is very difficult, and expensive.

Can you give me an example of an industry that achieves "99.5% success rate" and then explain how this can be meaningfully compared to a rail network?

In my opinion the only meaningful comparisons are those with other rail networks (self contained new-build high speed lines are not meaningfully comparable). Whenever I look into this, it seems that where there are comparable examples, they may do better but it's not generally by a large margin. Feel free to point to any rail network anywhere in the world that achieves 99.5% of trains on time. To save you googling Switzerland: they achieve about 87% of trains running within 3 minutes of schedule.

I'd like to see you try and tell anyone who works on the railways that it's a closed system and highly predictable.


----------



## mx wcfc (Sep 25, 2017)

I was caught up in this this morning.  A first for me in decades of commuting. My train was only held up for 15 mins or so before the cows were moo-ved on,  

Trains delayed by cows on the line


----------



## Dogsauce (Sep 26, 2017)

mx wcfc said:


> I was caught up in this this morning.  A first for me in decades of commuting. My train was only held up for 15 mins or so before the cows were moo-ved on,
> 
> Trains delayed by cows on the line



I hope they apologised over the PA system for a 'bovine incursion' , I'd have given that a cheer if they did (this phrase has been used in the past, to much ridicule).


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Sep 26, 2017)

Dogsauce said:


> I hope they apologised over the PA system for a 'bovine incursion' , I'd have given that a cheer if they did (this phrase has been used in the past, to much ridicule).



it would make a change from the usual bullshit...


----------



## OzT (Sep 27, 2017)

Puddy_Tat!! Tut tut!!

The announcmenets are always purely imformative . . . .


----------



## A380 (Oct 1, 2017)

Dogsauce said:


> I hope they apologised over the PA system for a 'bovine incursion' , I'd have given that a cheer if they did (this phrase has been used in the past, to much ridicule).


That would be milking it for laughs.


----------



## kabbes (Oct 2, 2017)

7:45 was cancelled this morning.
8:00 got to Raynes Park 30 minutes late then spent 10 minutes waiting before we were all turfed off.

So I’m 90 minutes into a 60 minute journey already and still a long way from Waterloo.

Another great morning of commuting.

ETA: arrived at work at 10:10, after leaving the house st 7:15.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 2, 2017)




----------



## cupid_stunt (Oct 2, 2017)

kabbes said:


> 7:45 was cancelled this morning.
> 8:00 got to Raynes Park 30 minutes late then spent 10 minutes waiting before we were all turfed off.
> 
> So I’m 90 minutes into a 60 minute journey already and still a long way from Waterloo.
> ...



Oh, I am so glad I don't commute into London any longer, working from home is a blessing.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 2, 2017)

Clapton station was closed this morning due to an unspecified incident further up the line  luckily I do have plenty of alternate routes into work.


----------



## Bungle73 (Oct 2, 2017)

Commuters flee train in 'Bible' panic


----------



## kabbes (Oct 2, 2017)

Bungle73 said:


> Commuters flee train in 'Bible' panic


That explains the odd messages the guard was giving.  I got the impression it was a jumper.

Of course, if they hadn’t cancelled the 7:45, I’d have been past Wimbledon by 8:30 anyway.  Another example of problems leading to more problems.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 2, 2017)

So all one has to do to drive southwest London to a halt these days is read aloud from the bible, that's it?


----------



## kabbes (Oct 2, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> So all one has to do to drive southwest London to a halt these days is read aloud from the bible, that's it?


It’s well established in the bible that if you want to have a go at God, you should correspond via the rail network:

2 Chronicles 32:17:

“He wrote also letters to rail on the LORD God of Israel, and to speak against him”


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 2, 2017)

I think Matthew worked platform 5 at Woking...

Matthew 
24:36
But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son...

25:13
Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour

24:27
For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man, on the delayed 1836 from Haslemere.

24:44
Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect, on the bus replacement service.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 3, 2017)

OzT Commuter complains of constant delays on South Western Railway


----------



## teuchter (Oct 3, 2017)

The name, which needlessly adds in two extra syllables, and words which don't easily run together, is certainly worse. As is the horrible livery which seems to be inspired by a surrey-dwelling city commuter's suit.


----------



## marty21 (Oct 3, 2017)

Due to a problem on the Victoria line this morning , I couldn't get on 2 trains in a row at Clapton this morning , trains were packed full of Victoria line refugees at Walthamstow. Gave up and walked to Rectory Road again.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> OzT Commuter complains of constant delays on South Western Railway



And it's all OzT's fault.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 3, 2017)

i don't think there have been many days since it became swr that have been cock-up free, but in fairness, most if not all have been track / signals / points and the like, which is not a train company's responsibility.

likewise yesterday's bible related panic at wimbledon


----------



## cupid_stunt (Oct 3, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> And it's all OzT's fault.



Vengeance for him not being allowed to take his goat to work.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 3, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


> Vengeance for him not being allowed to take his goat to work.


nanny state


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


> Vengeance for him not being allowed to take his goat to work.



(((poor OzT's goaty loneliness)))


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2017)

To keep him happy.


----------



## cupid_stunt (Oct 3, 2017)

I trump you...


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2017)

I searched for 'goats on trains' but that was the only image that came up.  Surely there must be more?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 3, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I searched for 'goats on trains' but that was the only image that came up.  Surely there must be more?


are you kidding?


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2017)

Puddy_Tat said:


> are you kidding?



Stop trying to curry favour with the bad jokes crowd.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Oct 3, 2017)

this one is waiting for a train


----------



## cupid_stunt (Oct 3, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I searched for 'goats on trains' but that was the only image that came up.  Surely there must be more?



I didn't even think of searching for 'goats *ON* trains', but I am glad you suggested it.


----------



## cupid_stunt (Oct 3, 2017)

*quick exit before farmerbarleymow sees me*


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Oct 3, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


> I didn't even think of searching for 'goats *ON* trains', but I am glad you suggested it.



I bet the delayed snowbound train got their goat.


----------



## cupid_stunt (Oct 3, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I bet the delayed snowbound train got their goat.



TBF, I think you need to get your goat coat.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 3, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


>



Snow up to the roof of the train, a roof that has goats on and it is still on time. 

Meanwhile in the UK a couple of leaves, a chilly night, a warm day, a man reading a book ffs...


----------



## davesgcr (Oct 4, 2017)

cupid_stunt said:


> *quick exit before farmerbarleymow sees me*



Nice one - a NYC R32 no less ! .............


----------



## Teaboy (Oct 4, 2017)

But not a goat.


----------



## cupid_stunt (Oct 4, 2017)

Teaboy said:


> But not a goat.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 16, 2017)

Worse than Southern...  Apology after train departs seconds early


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 6, 2017)

.


----------



## pogofish (Dec 15, 2017)

School bus and truck head-on on my road-in this morning.

Driver killed, thirteen children in hospital.  Major incident response.

Why did I choose today to take the bus to work - Got-in at 11:30, instead of 9:30/10.


----------



## cybershot (Dec 15, 2017)

pogofish said:


> School bus and truck head-on on my road-in this morning.
> 
> Driver killed, thirteen children in hospital.  Major incident response.
> 
> Why did I choose today to take the bus to work - Got-in at 11:30, instead of 9:30/10.



I think the time you got into work is non important in the grand scheme of things, hopefully you're employer sees it that way too.

Roads this morning were terrible in Birmingham, obviously tough conditions to grit last night with icey rain, at least with snow on the ground people took more care. This morning there were far too many near misses for my liking from people just pelting it like a normal sunny day.


----------



## pogofish (Dec 15, 2017)

cybershot said:


> I think the time you got into work is non important in the grand scheme of things, hopefully you're employer sees it that way too..



Yup - no problems there once they knew the situation.  Hopefully the injured kids aren't serious but waiting to hear if the truck was one of the bypass construction vehicles, which TBH have been taking the piss for far too long now.  IIRC they were forbidden to use my road for a long time for safety reasons but that seems to have gone by the board in the last few months as the contractors try to avoid going even more over the deadlines.


----------



## pogofish (Dec 15, 2017)

Fuck - Looks like an arsehole Audi driver is involved too!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 15, 2017)

pogofish said:


> Fuck - Looks like an arsehole Audi driver is involved too!




For all you know the driver of the red car could have been first on the scene and whacked it up on the side to go out and help.

And you call the person an arsehole. Nice.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 15, 2017)

Hope the kids aren't seriously hurt.


----------



## pogofish (Dec 15, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> For all you know the driver of the red car could have been first on the scene and whacked it up on the side to go out and help.
> 
> And you call the person an arsehole. Nice.



I know that spot - its right at the end of a fast straight and as the bus seems to have swerved across the road, it looks to me like the Audi was trying to get past the truck.  The bus driver had no chance whatever they did.    The Audi driver is apparently amongst the casualties too.

And due to the ongoing bypass work, a great deal more traffic than normal has been going down this road for months now to avoid the worst of the works.


----------



## cybershot (Dec 15, 2017)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Hope the kids aren't seriously hurt.



Kids seem ok

Driver dies after school bus crash


----------



## cybershot (Dec 15, 2017)

pogofish said:


> it looks to me like the Audi was trying to get past the truck.



Hopefully not, as the road markings indicate no over taking on his side.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 15, 2017)

pogofish said:


> I know that spot - its right at the end of a fast straight and as the bus seems to have swerved across the road, it looks to me like the Audi was trying to get past the truck.  The bus driver had no chance whatever they did.    The Audi driver is apparently amongst the casualties too.
> 
> And due to the ongoing bypass work, a great deal more traffic than normal has been going down this road for months now to avoid the worst of the works.



They say that a death crash costs around £1m to clear up. If only they had your skills and looked at a picture on the bbc website, could get the whole job done with change from a tenner.


----------



## pogofish (Dec 15, 2017)

cybershot said:


> Hopefully not, as the road markings indicate no over taking on his side.



That means very little round here TBH - and that stretch of road has a bad history for just that kind of accident .


----------



## pogofish (Dec 15, 2017)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> They say that a death crash costs around £1m to clear up. If only they had your skills and looked at a picture on the bbc website, could get the whole job done with change from a tenner.



We'll just have to wait and see - but I use that stretch pretty regularly so have some idea of the sort of driving to expect, esp in the morning.


----------



## teuchter (Dec 15, 2017)

When I'm back home, north of scotland, the overtaking maneuvers I see terrify me. Close family member lost an unborn child a few years ago thanks to idiot in a fast car trying to overtake in the opposite direction. The sooner we have driverless cars only, the better.


----------



## teuchter (Dec 15, 2017)

And I've had arguments on here with people who say that powerful cars are safer because it lets them complete overtaking moves more quickly. No, people apply the same level of risk taking, and when they screw up they screw up at a higher speed. And stuff like this happens. The schoolkids might not have lasting physical injuries but they'll have the memory of this and what they saw to live with.


----------



## kabbes (Feb 15, 2018)

Broken rail at Waterloo.  Everything delayed by 30 minutes at least and all trains to Dorking cancelled seemingly for the whole evening.

What a great infrastructure we have.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Feb 15, 2018)

and power failure at new malden (not sure if badger eating a junction box is involved)

blargh


----------



## Maggot (Feb 15, 2018)

RTA in croydon. Took me an hour to get out of Croydon.


----------



## davesgcr (Feb 15, 2018)

kabbes said:


> Broken rail at Waterloo.  Everything delayed by 30 minutes at least and all trains to Dorking cancelled seemingly for the whole evening.
> 
> What a great infrastructure we have.



Been a few this week - not just in the South - bad one last night at City Thameslink. Obviously very cold overnight - not that it makes you feel better.....


----------



## davesgcr (Feb 15, 2018)

davesgcr said:


> Been a few this week - not just in the South - bad one last night at City Thameslink. Obviously very cold overnight - not that it makes you feel better.....



Basically - if it is  clean break (not part of a set points , and not near a track weld) , you can pass over it at 5mph max , - ideally the track gangs will put a clamp on it , which gives you 20mph over it (with some poor soul watching every train) - then they will replace that rail section , probably overnight . As we know , Waterloo has just a few trains in and out...so the knock on is going to be a f==ing pain.


----------



## teuchter (Feb 15, 2018)

This is the downside of continuous welded rail, right?


----------



## davesgcr (Feb 15, 2018)

teuchter said:


> This is the downside of continuous welded rail, right?



No - breaks can happen on bullhead / short welded sections - as much as CWR , my engineering mates will have the precise detail - (trust me they really watch this stuff) - whereas most CWR is 113ib rail or above, most bullhead is less than this. Not just the condition of the rail and weather , but often the underlying state of the ballast formation. That is why careful analysis of the track bed is so important - when you get a degraded track bed with clay and slurry coming through , you get what is called a wet spot , so the track flexes under trains and there is more of a hammer blow , which if not resolved can break a rail. (what you do is dig the stuff out overnight preferably and put in a load of local fresh ballast and chippings) - even though I am retired , I called a few in last year , observed from passing trains. Dealt with pretty quickly to be fair to NR. 

Next weeks - U75 course on railway operations , will concentrate on flagging trains through signals at red. Please read section J of the Rulebook in advance.


----------



## Dogsauce (Feb 20, 2018)

The fucking roadworks on Marylebone Road. Although it’s probably incorrect to describe them as ‘works’ since apparently no work is taking place, just cones and barriers. Cunts.

After delaying my arrival home on Sunday night for approximately an hour queuing on the A40 I was too tired to return the car to it’s home in deepest SW London. Can drive it back early in the morning I think. They’ll have opened that lane up again for the Monday rush hour.

Almost 2hrs to take the car from Angel to Raynes Park. Left well before 7am thinking I’d miss some of the traffic, and of course I’d easily be back on the train in plenty of time to take the nipper to his swimming lesson at ten. Nope.

Still in a shitty mood about it nearly two days later.


----------



## hash tag (Mar 3, 2018)

hash tag said:


> There are far too few public toilets around these days and the problem is getting worse. Many who use stations are fare paying customers. There are, I imagine, few who walk in off the street to use station loos and if so, so what. Not everyone who has the need has a radar key. Many public buildings have free loos, why not a station? The stations these days are full of concessions paying, I imagine huge amounts to Network Rail. Besides, Victoria coined in £1.4 last year through the loos alone! Thats just goes towards their upkeep - NOT.
> keep em free!



Network Rail to end toilet charges in 2019







Whoopie doo; they are going to scrap the toilet charges. in 2019! really. There could well be many changes in policy by then.
Why can't they just through the barriers open now?


----------



## magneze (Mar 3, 2018)

hash tag said:


> Network Rail to end toilet charges in 2019
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It'll take that long to get Immodium into all the station food


----------



## kabbes (Mar 3, 2018)

kabbes said:


> Broken rail at Waterloo.  Everything delayed by 30 minutes at least and all trains to Dorking cancelled seemingly for the whole evening.
> 
> What a great infrastructure we have.


I got my delay repay for my 2 hour cancellation.  £4.34 on the cost of a £30 ticket.  You figure that out because I can’t.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 6, 2018)

My new sport is using the to-be-fair quite straightforward SouthWestern Delay Repay website to actually claim for the journeys that get delayed rather than just stew on it.  I do this on my journey itself sometimes, which makes me feel 2% better about the delay.  I’ve claimed for four journeys in the last few weeks.

ETA: just updated to six.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 6, 2018)

kabbes said:


> I got my delay repay for my 2 hour cancellation.  £4.34 on the cost of a £30 ticket.  You figure that out because I can’t.



I thought you got the full ticket price back for a delay like that, unless you've got a season ticket in which case you get bugger all.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 6, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> I thought you got the full ticket price back for a delay like that, unless you've got a season ticket in which case you get bugger all.


Yeah, it's a season ticket.  But the journey is still a £30 journey, so how can I only get £4.34?  It makes no sense.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 6, 2018)

kabbes said:


> Yeah, it's a season ticket.  But the journey is still a £30 journey, so how can I only get £4.34?  It makes no sense.



It's the rip-off formula they use so they can pay bugger all.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 6, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> It's the rip-off formula they use so they can pay bugger all.


It's a rip-off formula that apparently means that even if every train for a month is cancelled, I still don't get the value of my season ticket back.

My season ticket costs £340 per month.  £4.34 per journey implies I do 78 journeys a month.  That's more than two a day, every day of the month.  (And, in fact, since the month in question only had 28 days, it's closer to three journeys a day!)


----------



## teuchter (Mar 6, 2018)

kabbes said:


> It's a rip-off formula that apparently means that even if every train for a month is cancelled, I still don't get the value of my season ticket back.
> 
> My season ticket costs £340 per month.  £4.34 per journey implies I do 78 journeys a month.  That's more than two a day, every day of the month.  (And, in fact, since the month in question only had 28 days, it's closer to three journeys a day!)


According to their passengers' charter if you were more than an hour late then it should be 100% of your "journey value". Your "journey value" should be 1/40 x 340 = £8.50 so that's what you should get.

That assumes 20 return journeys per month which seems reasonable.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 6, 2018)

So basically, they've fucked me?  Or, more simply, they've decided that my delay was 30-59 minutes rather than >60 minutes based on some spurious perfect alternative that I couldn't have known about whilst I was sitting uninformed on a station platform.


----------



## teuchter (Mar 6, 2018)

Dunno. I'd go back and question it, if it were a larger amount.

Not true that there are "bugger all" refunds for season ticket holders though, so farmerbarleymow can update this information in his files.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 6, 2018)

teuchter said:


> Dunno. I'd go back and question it, if it were a larger amount.
> 
> Not true that there are "bugger all" refunds for season ticket holders though, so farmerbarleymow can update this information in his files.



Four quid is effectively bugger all - in comparison to amount of time trapped on a stationary train. 

And another thing *soapbox mode* I've noticed is if a train is running late the driver goes faster to ensure the train arrives 29 or 59 minutes late, obviously a deliberate ploy to reduce claims. The bastards.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 6, 2018)

They should be forced to pay me at my hourly rate for wasting my time.


----------



## teuchter (Mar 6, 2018)

I think people should be compensated at an hourly rate derived from their value to society, which will be determined by their fellow passengers during a debate/fight held in the period of time during which the train is overdue.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 6, 2018)

teuchter said:


> I think people should be compensated at an hourly rate derived from their value to society, which will be determined by their fellow passengers during a debate/fight held in the period of time during which the train is overdue.


A strange game.  The only way to win is not to play.


----------



## teuchter (Mar 6, 2018)

kabbes said:


> A strange game.  The only way to win is not to play.


Just like urban75.


----------



## porp (Mar 6, 2018)

hash tag said:


> Network Rail to end toilet charges in 2019
> 
> 
> 
> ...


And so another innocent bit of pleasure ends for this skinflint. That is, get the 30p ready and then watch for the turnstile that is registering 10p sometimes 20p credit. Then swoop for a cut price wee. See also: the accompanying child 2-for-1 wee.


----------



## nuffsaid (Mar 12, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Four quid is effectively bugger all - in comparison to amount of time trapped on a stationary train.
> 
> And another thing *soapbox mode* I've noticed is if a train is running late the driver goes faster to ensure the train arrives 29 or 59 minutes late, obviously a deliberate ploy to reduce claims. The bastards.



They also deliberately not stop at stations they were scheduled to do so if it means the arrival time at the end destination means they'll get loads of delay-repay claims. So long as there's another train behind that the people they refuse to then pick up won't also be more than 30 mins delayed...bastads.


----------



## teuchter (Mar 13, 2018)

I reckon the previous two posts are most likely 95% nonsense.


----------



## kabbes (Mar 13, 2018)

teuchter said:


> I reckon the previous two posts are most likely 95% nonsense.


It’s certainly the case that SW trains have started cancelling intermediate stops when their trains are running late.  I’m generally grateful for the fact, since I’m going to the end of the line.  I have wondered at the motivation, though, and wouldn’t be surprised if it was money related.


----------



## High Voltage (Mar 13, 2018)

nuffsaid said:


> They also deliberately not stop at stations they were scheduled to do so if it means the arrival time at the end destination means they'll get loads of delay-repay claims. So long as there's another train behind that the people they refuse to then pick up won't also be more than 30 mins delayed...bastads.



But what about the people who want to get off at those "missed" stops? - I would be right royally pissed off if the train I was on, merrily swanned through my stop and onto the next "big town"


----------



## OzT (Mar 13, 2018)

High Voltage said:


> But what about the people who want to get off at those "missed" stops? - I would be right royally pissed off if the train I was on, merrily swanned through my stop and onto the next "big town"


 
They always stop at a station before they go fast where you can pick the next train up that do stop at all stations. Bit of a bummer if you already had a seat as chance is you'll be standing rest of the way on the next train, but generally you won't be more than 5 minutes later, but it is an inconvience.

There's a petetion to get the franchise off SWR starting here. I personally don't think it wil lget anywhere or make any difference. Wish they had stuck with SWT.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2018)

OzT said:


> They always stop at a station before they go fast where you can pick the next train up that do stop at all stations. Bit of a bummer if you already had a seat as chance is you'll be standing rest of the way on the next train, but generally you won't be more than 5 minutes later, but it is an inconvience.



5 minutes? More like 30 minutes at a minimum if you don't live in the pampered south east. Trains certainly don't run every 5 minutes in the North of England.


----------



## OzT (Mar 13, 2018)

with apoligies to our fellow breatherns oop t'north .. . . .


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Mar 13, 2018)

kabbes said:


> It’s certainly the case that SW trains have started cancelling intermediate stops when their trains are running late.



i've had this less often under the new franchise.  maybe it's just chance / who's on duty in the control room



farmerbarleymow said:


> 5 minutes? More like 30 minutes at a minimum if you don't live in the pampered south east. Trains certainly don't run every 5 minutes in the North of England.



or to many smaller stations in the south east


----------



## Throbbing Angel (Mar 13, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> 5 minutes? More like 30 minutes at a minimum if you don't live in the pampered south east. Trains certainly don't run every 5 minutes in the North of England.



^T^H^I^S^


----------



## High Voltage (Mar 13, 2018)

OzT said:


> They always stop at a station before they go fast where you can pick the next train up that do stop at all stations . . .



Is it announced over the intercom that they're missing the stop (two stops ahead) and that you'd better get off at this stop as we're not going to stop at the stop you want? How does it work then - you might've guessed that I'm not a regular train user (or, for that matter, any public transport user)


----------



## kabbes (Mar 13, 2018)

High Voltage said:


> Is it announced over the intercom that they're missing the stop (two stops ahead) and that you'd better get off at this stop as we're not going to stop at the stop you want? How does it work then - you might've guessed that I'm not a regular train user (or, for that matter, any public transport user)


It works the same way everything else works on the train: fuck the commuter.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2018)

Puddy_Tat said:


> or to many smaller stations in the south east



No doubt - probably most train services across the country are shite.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 13, 2018)

Throbbing Angel said:


> ^T^H^I^S^



It's grim up north.


----------



## OzT (Mar 13, 2018)

High Voltage said:


> Is it announced over the intercom that they're missing the stop (two stops ahead) and that you'd better get off at this stop as we're not going to stop at the stop you want? How does it work then - you might've guessed that I'm not a regular train user (or, for that matter, any public transport user)


 
Yes the guard always announce it, and at the last stop before going fast will say again. It is also shown on the departure boards, though to be fair people don't usually look at them.

It is a nusience but I think it is the way TOCs get to keep to their schedules


----------



## nuffsaid (Mar 13, 2018)

High Voltage said:


> But what about the people who want to get off at those "missed" stops? - I would be right royally pissed off if the train I was on, merrily swanned through my stop and onto the next "big town"



They announce that the train has become a no stopping service at a bigger station further up the line so people can get off and get the next one, as they do this at the larger stations it means those people also will not be delayed by more than 30mins as the next stopping train will arrive before half an hour so not incurring a delay repay. All they care about is profit.


----------



## High Voltage (Mar 13, 2018)

I'll stick to me car then


----------



## Miss-Shelf (Mar 13, 2018)

What is it with queuing on the Jubilee Line?	It started at Canary Wharf and I put it down to them not being proper Londoners or something 

But now it's spread to Canada Water and London Bridge 

It gets in the way if walking down the platform


----------



## Badgers (Mar 13, 2018)




----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 13, 2018)

OzT said:


> It is a nusience but I think it is the way TOCs get to keep to their schedules



A nuisance? Train not stopping at the stop it is supposed to and is where you live? As long as the TOC  gets to keep to its schedule I'm happy to forgo seeing my kids of an evening.


----------



## Teaboy (Mar 13, 2018)

Its certainly true that cancellations have become normal round my way since SW Railways took over from SWT.  This was never the case previously and I know people had a lot of grumbles with SWT but we actually did alright with them.  The service has turned to utter garbage since SWR took over, its not all bad news though as my g/f did get a small pack of mints from them the other day.  So when you weigh that up against daily cancellations, horribly overcrowded trains as a result and her having to get up earlier and earlier and home later and later I guess it about evens out.


----------



## OzT (Mar 13, 2018)

I have spare packs of those mints in my office if you want more Teaboy!! lol!!  Took me a whiel to work out how to open them 

Yes many many disgruntled people with SWR


----------



## Winot (Mar 13, 2018)

Greater Anglia sued by passenger over 'continuous' delays


----------



## kabbes (Mar 13, 2018)

Teuchter will be along in a minute to tell us it’s all in our heads and better than when it was in the hands of the government.


----------



## teuchter (Mar 13, 2018)

No, I've never said either of those things, although I fully expect that I'll continue to be misrepresented on those points.

But I will remind you that it *is* largely in the hands of the government. Regarding that Greater Anglia case, the implication of the article is that 77% of the delays were not attributed to Greater Anglia, and therefore I would expect that the majority are attributed to Network Rail which is state owned and directed by the government.

It's interesting that it seems he has managed to get a judgement that he's due that much despite nearly all of his delays being pretty minor (under 15 minutes). I think the figure is actually based on GA's failure to show up for mediation. 

Is people making court claims against rail companies for relatively minor delays something folk would like to see set a precedent? Just like now, the money will have to come from somewhere and just like now, most of that money will likely find its way back to claims against Network Rail, ie. from the public purse and/or increases in train fares.

Let's not forget that these delay repay schemes originate in John Major's "Citizen's Charter" introduced in 1992 to incentivise better "service" from public companies that were percieved to be underperforming, including British Rail.


----------



## davesgcr (Mar 13, 2018)

This "non stopping" is referred to as "service recovery" , though it might make you somewhat pissed off, the train operator will have to justify this to the DfT on every single case , - the "letting off the hook" is not always agreed to by the civil servants .....(assuming that they actually understand the whole process and what was trying to be achieved...) ......no further comment on that frankly.


----------



## Dogsauce (Apr 18, 2018)

Nice day to take the nipper to Brockwell lido I thought. Not a nice day to spend over 2hrs getting there on buses from Angel, including a 26 minute wait for a 59 at St Pancras in the filthy air there. Literally walking speed. London is broken today. Too many taxis, too many delivery vans parked in bus lanes with their hazards on. He’ll have fallen asleep by the time we get there.


----------



## tommers (Apr 19, 2018)

Southern outdoing themselves today. 3 separate signal failures.  Which means that  the last three trains have effectively been cancelled and who knows when the next  one is.

Well done Fellas.


----------



## kabbes (Apr 19, 2018)

I got about £36 back from March delay repay in the end.

So far I’m at about £13 for April.


----------



## teuchter (Apr 19, 2018)

tommers said:


> Southern outdoing themselves today. 3 separate signal failures.  Which means that  the last three trains have effectively been cancelled and who knows when the next  one is.
> 
> Well done Fellas.


As Bungle73 is no longer with us I'm going to have to take on the task of reminding you that southern aren't responsible for the signals.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Apr 19, 2018)

tommers said:


> Southern outdoing themselves today. 3 separate signal failures.  Which means that  the last three trains have effectively been cancelled and who knows when the next  one is.
> 
> Well done Fellas.



Signals were fucked in the NW too today.  Must be the rails turning to molten steel in the excessive heat.  Or something.

There seemed to be a fair bit of signal fuckage across the network today when I looked earlier this afternoon.


----------



## tommers (Apr 19, 2018)

teuchter said:


> As Bungle73 is no longer with us I'm going to have to take on the task of reminding you that southern aren't responsible for the signals.


Like I give a fuck.


----------



## paolo (Apr 28, 2018)

Top tips Londoners:

When you’re hurrying for work and tube corridors are busy, you can

(A) Kick the back of my feet. Yes, you’ll get to work quicker. Riiiight. Oh no... you can’t kick past people, you’re just being a ****
(B) Not do that.

Why why why... grrr.


----------



## NoXion (May 4, 2018)

I finished work about an hour ago. I'm still waiting for the bus home. Fuck you Greenline, you fucking useless bunch of fucking cunts.


----------



## existentialist (May 6, 2018)

paolo said:


> Top tips Londoners:
> 
> When you’re hurrying for work and tube corridors are busy, you can
> 
> ...


Wear steelies to return the compliment.


----------



## planetgeli (May 15, 2018)

Farmers. Fuck ‘em. They’re all fucking Tories driving big fuck off tractors at a top speed of 20mph, blocking my way, not paying any fucking road tax, barely paying any fucking fuel tax, creating massive tailbacks and even having the fucking cheek to do so on the A roads as well as the B roads. 

I don’t know what has brought them all out today on the same day like some glorified Countryside Alliance protest but they can fuck right off and stop doubling the amount of time it takes me to drive my already too long fucking commute. There’s no crops around here, it’s all beef with a sprinkling of dairy. It’s enough to drive you fucking vegan. Ok, not that bad. I dunno though. Petrol bomb their fucking animals 4 Lions stylee. 

Cunts.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 15, 2018)

Heh, it's the ones dragging massive tanks of liquid pig shit that fuck me off, really slow and fucking stinks your car out. Don't dare moan though or else the contents might be used against you...


----------



## davesgcr (May 16, 2018)

I drop my eldest over to Hemel Hempstead station once a week , never a great commute , today it took 1 hour 25 to get back , normal timings ought to be about 20 mins. Solid f==ing gridlock , and he won't allow me to use his radio , so tedious in the utter extreme. Never good , but this was the record. 

The roads are so tightly balanced , that one incident gives chaos for 90 mins, still it gave me a chance to examine the potholes.....


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 17, 2018)

Got on the train today - packed as usual, and I had a reservation.  The seat was occupied by a lovely dog sat on a blanket - a fairly hefty boxer/bulldog type thing that must have weighed a fair bit.  Advised the woman that I'd reserved that seat, only to be met by huffiness.  Rather than get the dog to sit on the floor she moved it onto her lap for the remainder of the long journey.  The poor dog was clearly uncomfortable.


----------



## NoXion (May 17, 2018)

My bus route goes through Windsor. Well, at least it did on the way home. Because of this Royal Wedding barf-a-thon they've got planned, my bus took a diversion around the castle in the morning because apparently it was rehearsals today or something, and the rush hour traffic on the way home was even more terrible than usual. Windsor itself looked more forbidding, with the homeless and their possessions having been turfed out, railings everywhere, portacabins, and what looked like a damn bandstand as well. Lots more filth than usual (including a Hampshire logo) with one I saw strolling along the pavement packing heat, looked like one of those semi-automatic MP5s they have. I swear they doubled the number of Union flags along the route by the castle. The tat shops also looked like they had gussied up their outdoor displays.

It was a bit fucking shit to be honest.


----------



## davesgcr (May 17, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Got on the train today - packed as usual, and I had a reservation.  The seat was occupied by a lovely dog sat on a blanket - a fairly hefty boxer/bulldog type thing that must have weighed a fair bit.  Advised the woman that I'd reserved that seat, only to be met by huffiness.  Rather than get the dog to sit on the floor she moved it onto her lap for the remainder of the long journey.  The poor dog was clearly uncomfortable.



Poor dog - but it had not paid for a f===ing seat , as you did ...!


----------



## davesgcr (May 17, 2018)

NoXion said:


> My bus route goes through Windsor. Well, at least it did on the way home. Because of this Royal Wedding barf-a-thon they've got planned, my bus took a diversion around the castle in the morning because apparently it was rehearsals today or something, and the rush hour traffic on the way home was even more terrible than usual. Windsor itself looked more forbidding, with the homeless and their possessions having been turfed out, railings everywhere, portacabins, and what looked like a damn bandstand as well. Lots more filth than usual (including a Hampshire logo) with one I saw strolling along the pavement packing heat, looked like one of those semi-automatic MP5s they have. I swear they doubled the number of Union flags along the route by the castle. The tat shops also looked like they had gussied up their outdoor displays.
> 
> It was a bit fucking shit to be honest.



Not been to Windsor for a while - (like 20 years) , and being a man of leisure I went out in the sun last Thursday , out via Paddington and Slough - back via Riverside and Staines to Waterloo. 

OK over a week ago , all quite restrained with signs of modest celebration to come. Not too much tat for sale -and walked up to the struggling school Eton to see how it was ..plans for a "very local" street party. Passports and Who's Who guide needed clearly......

Stirring group of Railway and Network Rail "suits" doing a recce and finalising plans ...very visible to the tutored eye. I wish them well.


----------



## teuchter (May 21, 2018)

I was expecting this thread to be all flashing lights and alarm bells as the new Thameslink timetable sent the south east of England into meltdown this morning.


----------



## kabbes (May 21, 2018)

My SW train was unaffected, actually.  The new timetable does mean that I no longer have a viable alternative to the two SW trains per hour, though, which is a shame.


----------



## nuffsaid (May 21, 2018)

New timetable takes trains off my morning commute but adds to my evening one.

I now have to get a 10 min earlier train in the morning as the next one is now almost half an hour later, where there used to be 3 in a half hour slot...

Although it was a Gatwick Express that was so empty I almost had the front carriage to myself.

A choice of 4 trains in half an hour for the homeward trip is better tbh.


----------



## davesgcr (May 21, 2018)

teuchter said:


> I was expecting this thread to be all flashing lights and alarm bells as the new Thameslink timetable sent the south east of England into meltdown this morning.



Thameslink (Great Northern) has really struggled this am , though overall performance not even up to 70% , which is pretty desperate. 

However . Manchester - Preston - Liverpool is the triangle of hell today - major train crew shortages , which have been on for a while , but seem seriously bad today.


----------



## teuchter (May 21, 2018)

I hadn't been properly paying attention to what would change but have just found out that my local station (on the Wimbledon loop) has a train every 15 mins all day now, so no more 30 mins waits in the cold at blackfriars on winter nights.


----------



## teuchter (May 21, 2018)

nuffsaid said:


> New timetable takes trains off my morning commute but adds to my evening one.
> 
> I now have to get a 10 min earlier train in the morning as the next one is now almost half an hour later, where there used to be 3 in a half hour slot...
> 
> ...


Stayed with some friends in Brighton at the weekend; there was intense discussion of their new morning and evening options. They had even printed out the new timetable and gone at it with highlighter pens. I'll await their accounts of what happened today. All the plates are in the air with everyone trying to second-guess which trains will be the busy ones now.


----------



## Plumdaff (May 21, 2018)

planetgeli said:


> Farmers. Fuck ‘em. They’re all fucking Tories driving big fuck off tractors at a top speed of 20mph, blocking my way, not paying any fucking road tax, barely paying any fucking fuel tax, creating massive tailbacks and even having the fucking cheek to do so on the A roads as well as the B roads.
> 
> I don’t know what has brought them all out today on the same day like some glorified Countryside Alliance protest but they can fuck right off and stop doubling the amount of time it takes me to drive my already too long fucking commute. There’s no crops around here, it’s all beef with a sprinkling of dairy. It’s enough to drive you fucking vegan. Ok, not that bad. I dunno though. Petrol bomb their fucking animals 4 Lions stylee.
> 
> Cunts.



The ones that I particularly despise are the ones on the A48 in Carmarthenshire, no lights, doing about 5 miles an hour in pitch darkness.

They'll be fine  - I'll be dead if there's a crash. Utter wankers.


----------



## teuchter (May 21, 2018)

Plumdaff said:


> The ones that I particularly despise are the ones on the A48 in Carmarthenshire, no lights, doing about 5 miles an hour in pitch darkness.
> 
> They'll be fine  - I'll be dead if there's a crash. Utter wankers.


While they should of course have their lights on - if you are going too fast to stop within the distance you have a clear view of ahead of you - ie. what you can see in your headlights - then surely you are driving too fast.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (May 21, 2018)

davesgcr said:


> .
> 
> However . Manchester - Preston - Liverpool is the triangle of hell today - major train crew shortages , which have been on for a while , but seem seriously bad today.



I've heard lots of people moaning about it this morning .


----------



## existentialist (May 21, 2018)

Plumdaff said:


> The ones that I particularly despise are the ones on the A48 in Carmarthenshire, no lights, doing about 5 miles an hour in pitch darkness.
> 
> They'll be fine  - I'll be dead if there's a crash. Utter wankers.


They're particularly disorientating when all the lights are covered in cowshit, but they've got an amber beacon flashing away. Judging distance is a bastard, then.


----------



## Badgers (May 21, 2018)

davesgcr said:


> Thameslink (Great Northern) has really struggled this am , though overall performance not even up to 70% , which is pretty desperate.


There is already 4 coaches waiting outside my local station so I fear that this evening will not be an improvement


----------



## ice-is-forming (May 21, 2018)

davesgcr said:


> I drop my eldest over to Hemel Hempstead station once a week , never a great commute , today it took 1 hour 25 to get back , normal timings ought to be about 20 mins. Solid f==ing gridlock , and he won't allow me to use his radio , so tedious in the utter extreme. Never good , but this was the record.
> 
> The roads are so tightly balanced , that one incident gives chaos for 90 mins, still it gave me a chance to examine the potholes.....



Why can't you use his radio


----------



## teuchter (May 21, 2018)

The Cicadas Take Flight: Explaining The May Timetable Changes - London Reconnections


----------



## davesgcr (May 21, 2018)

ice-is-forming said:


> Why can't you use his radio



He has an irrational hatred of Radio 4 ! (well he may be right sometimes..)


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 21, 2018)

davesgcr said:


> He has an irrational hatred of Radio 4 ! (well he may be right sometimes..)



if you twiddle the knob you might find a station that isn't Radio 4


----------



## A380 (May 23, 2018)

Fucking Thameslink New Timetable Buffoonery.

Thant is all.


----------



## mx wcfc (May 24, 2018)

I have resorted to reserving a seat on the train home.  Too old for that standing bollox.

Fought my way through to my precious seat to find a sweet little old lady sat in it.  Bollox.


----------



## Throbbing Angel (May 24, 2018)

Had to walk around the corner for the bus this morning to see it pulling out.
Fucking interminable 4 minute wait for the next one


----------



## OzT (May 25, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> if you twiddle the knob you might find a station that isn't Radio 4


 
Knobs? Wotz this, valve radio???


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (May 25, 2018)

OzT said:


> Knobs? Wotz this, valve radio???



Not quite...









But still a knob...


----------



## OzT (May 25, 2018)

Woa very nice!!!!   lol!!


----------



## A380 (May 25, 2018)

mx wcfc said:


> I have resorted to reserving a seat on the train home.  Too old for that standing bollox.
> 
> Fought my way through to my precious seat to find a sweet little old lady sat in it.  Bollox.


I hope you swore at her when telling her to move.


----------



## A380 (May 25, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> ... But still a knob...



But  enough of Audi drivers.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (May 25, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Not quite...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



but where do you put the cassette?


----------



## pogofish (May 28, 2018)

Maybe I should work Sundays more often..?


----------



## A380 (Jun 7, 2018)




----------



## nuffsaid (Jun 21, 2018)

Major disruption between Bedford and London St Pancras International expected until 15:00

This screwed up a load of Thameslink trains this morning - Signal failure at Luton - 

Train Service Updates | Live Train Status | Live Train Service | Thameslink


----------



## A380 (Jun 21, 2018)

I got to the station. Spent 35 minutes there then went home.


----------



## SheilaNaGig (Jul 18, 2018)

I’m not a regular commuter but I just thought I’d report in on this current situation...

I’m currently stranded on the South Western line between Kingston and Waterloo. Apparently there’s been some kind of accident or incident at Clapham Junction line is horribly backed up in both directions. The most recent announcement says that we’re going to travel from station to station and signal to signal until the backlog is cleared.


----------



## SheilaNaGig (Jul 18, 2018)

Meanwhile I’m having to listen to the chatter of several phone conversations at once, folk talking to the office or home, trying to do whatever it is they would be doing if they could be where they want to be.


----------



## SheilaNaGig (Jul 18, 2018)

.... but a fast train just when whizzing through, so some trains are moving....


----------



## Teaboy (Jul 18, 2018)

SheilaNaGig said:


> I’m not a regular commuter but I just thought I’d report in on this current situation...
> 
> I’m currently stranded on the South Western line between Kingston and Waterloo. Apparently there’s been some kind of accident or incident at Clapham Junction line is horribly backed up in both directions. The most recent announcement says that we’re going to travel from station to station and signal to signal until the backlog is cleared.



The news I can see is that the problem is with the Wimbledon line specifically (which is the one you are on I guess).  Which route are you taking around the loop?  Via Richmond or via Wimbledon?


----------



## kabbes (Jul 18, 2018)

SheilaNaGig said:


> I’m not a regular commuter but I just thought I’d report in on this current situation...
> 
> I’m currently stranded on the South Western line between Kingston and Waterloo. Apparently there’s been some kind of accident or incident at Clapham Junction line is horribly backed up in both directions. The most recent announcement says that we’re having going to travel from station to station and signal to signal until the backlog is cleared.


Thanks, you just saved me a half hour at least


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 18, 2018)

I'm avoiding this today (my regular commute involved the bit between Wimbledon and Clapham Junction, but I'm not in the office on wednesdays at the moment)

Latest is that the 'Windsor' side of Clapham Junction is less affected, so if there's a chance to travel via Richmond, may be better (although a Waterloo - Kingston - Richmond - Waterloo train may cop it on the way from Waterloo to Kingston)

Or get to the Underground at Wimbledon if possible?


----------



## not-bono-ever (Jul 18, 2018)

Stuck at London Bridge. May go for a pint as it looks terminal here


----------



## SheilaNaGig (Jul 18, 2018)

Teaboy said:


> The news I can see is that the problem is with the Wimbledon line specifically (which is the one you are on I guess).  Which route are you taking around the loop?  Via Richmond or via Wimbledon?




I was travelling from Kingston into Vauxhall. I’ve arrived now. It took about 90 minutes all told.

Not being a regular user, I don’t know about alternatives. I considered getting off at Wimbledon and getting the tube but .... didn’t fancy being on the underground, going all the way in and then out to Brixton.

The driver was really lovely, inviting people to get out at platforms to get some air and stretch the kegs, promising to give fair warning when he was going to shut the doors.


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 18, 2018)

It was a person under a train at Clapham Junction , so initially all lines Clapham - towards Wimbledon were blocked. On the move , but there will be delays for hours as a result.


----------



## SheilaNaGig (Jul 18, 2018)

davesgcr said:


> It was a person under a train at Clapham Junction , so initially all lines Clapham - towards Wimbledon were blocked. On the move , but there will be delays for hours as a result.



I didn’t want to speculate but that’s what it seemed like when I was travelling/stuck.


----------



## davesgcr (Jul 18, 2018)

SheilaNaGig said:


> I didn’t want to speculate but that’s what it seemed like when I was travelling/stuck.



Every one is a tragedy , for all. 

Glad you got there. Despite severe critiscism , SWR will do their best. Honestly - there have been a few similar issues this week - not all "one unders" , but "trespassers" ..


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Jul 18, 2018)

SheilaNaGig said:


> The driver was really lovely, inviting people to get out at platforms to get some air and stretch the kegs, promising to give fair warning when he was going to shut the doors.



mildly pedantic, but SWR trains (at present) have guards who do this sort of thing.  SWR are trying (in the short term) to downgrade the job and fairly clearly in the long term to do away with it altogether (RMT page here)


----------



## OzT (Jul 19, 2018)

Not just guards. They're trying to do away with ticket office staff as well. Here at SWR they're trying out contract line cleaners as well as gateline people. All means less perm employees and cost savings I guess, but then also less care and effort on the contract staff.

Not slurring all contract staff with the same brush, but the ones we have now fits that description.

May save the train companies monies but yet another part in our lives where human interactions have gone. You can see the day coming when people just commute or do whatever without any daily pleasanteries. Banks have done away with tellers, supermarkets trying to reduce checkout staff, soon the only place where you can see people and interactions wil be coffee bars and pubs. Those quick hi ya/have a good day/weather's crap/why no trains/life moan/cheery quip etc 30 seconds convo will be gone, also the ones who like to ask off peak routes and suggestions and I'm getting pictures of Brave New World/1984 where masses of people just go about in their own little world, earphones in no awareness of others . .. 

ooo arrr I am going into a dark place there!!  lol!!


----------



## Badgers (Sep 13, 2018)

Well said Richard old chap


----------



## neonwilderness (Sep 13, 2018)

Badgers said:


> Well said Richard old chap


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Sep 17, 2018)

This commute would keep you alert - no sitting back and reading a book.


----------



## nuffsaid (Sep 17, 2018)

Anyone get a refund from Thameslink? Guy at work I sit next to got a letter with a £35+ refund due to all the grief Thameslink caused in May-Jul with their new timetable. I got the same letter but they've refunded my entire monthly ticket of £85.66...that's a lot more than if I'd claimed via delay repay for all the delays over the same time period.


----------



## teuchter (Sep 17, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> This commute would keep you alert - no sitting back and reading a book.




Those people in that bus on their way to work on their daily commute are behaving in a way that is surprising. You'd think the novelty of the whole thing would have worn off after doing this as their regular commute. Why for example have they not yet learnt to close the window? I wonder what jobs they are commuting to and from.


----------



## A380 (Sep 17, 2018)

nuffsaid said:


> Anyone get a refund from Thameslink? Guy at work I sit next to got a letter with a £35+ refund due to all the grief Thameslink caused in May-Jul with their new timetable. I got the same letter but they've refunded my entire monthly ticket of £85.66...that's a lot more than if I'd claimed via delay repay for all the delays over the same time period.


Nothing yet. I’m expecting it to be delayed.


----------



## nuffsaid (Oct 18, 2018)

The weather's been so benign this thread was 3 pages down. So it took a jumper (not a woolly kind either) north of Brighton to mean I had to turn around at the station and come back to the office to await a lift home from someone.

Chaos at Brighton stn. No trains stopping going north until Haywards Heath.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 19, 2018)

Hope no one is thinking of travelling to work via Waterloo today, it’s basically closed


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 19, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Hope no one is thinking of travelling to work via Waterloo today, it’s basically closed



hmph


----------



## Badgers (Nov 19, 2018)

Rail chaos as engineering works overrun


----------



## friedaweed (Nov 19, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> This commute would keep you alert - no sitting back and reading a book.



Alderley Edge?


----------



## kabbes (Nov 19, 2018)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Hope no one is thinking of travelling to work via Waterloo today, it’s basically closed


It’s a total fucker.  I’m trying to pick my way through on other lines


----------



## kabbes (Nov 19, 2018)

... only problem is today seems to be the day every other fucking line is fucking up too.  The GWR Reading to Gatwick train is 25 minutes late and that would have got me to Redhill in time to pick up a fast London Bridge train.  But now I’m going to miss the connection.

*IMPOTENT RAGE*


----------



## kabbes (Nov 19, 2018)

And the slow London Bridge train from Dorking is 25 mins late too (so far and getting later by the minute) due to an earlier broken down train.


----------



## tommers (Nov 19, 2018)

Happy Monday.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 19, 2018)

Every time people have a bank holiday, the forces of capital go nuts for lost productivity.  Yet I estimate there are currently about 150 people on my platform alone still waiting for trains that have failed to materialise for hours.  Multiply that bollocks up and see how much it’s worth. But who cares, eh?


----------



## friedaweed (Nov 19, 2018)

Fuckin'ell guys I'd give up if I had to do that shit every day


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 19, 2018)

kabbes said:


> ... only problem is today seems to be the day every other fucking line is fucking up too.  The GWR Reading to Gatwick train is 25 minutes late and that would have got me to Redhill in time to pick up a fast London Bridge train.  But now I’m going to miss the connection.
> 
> *IMPOTENT RAGE*



signal problems near reading.

and the train at redhill will be late as well, something at east croydon has hit the fan.


----------



## kabbes (Nov 19, 2018)

What a clusterfuck


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 19, 2018)

friedaweed said:


> Alderley Edge?



Something like that.  

Although I'm on leave today the trains up here seem to be running OK.  Poor fuckers in the south - not a good way to start the week.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 19, 2018)

and the overground has problems at peckham rye


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 19, 2018)

Puddy_Tat said:


> and the overground has problems at peckham rye



Presumably buses will be packed with the trains being fucked?


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 19, 2018)

My office is close to the station, as i walked through the high street there was a stream of people heading away from the station, many of them saying not to bother...


----------



## ash (Nov 19, 2018)

I decided to miss the train from Vauxhall to Brentford and use the Piccadilly line and bus now there’s severe delays westbound Piccadilly


----------



## kabbes (Nov 19, 2018)

It’s all still fucked, folks


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 19, 2018)

blaaaaaaaargh


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 19, 2018)

and i managed to be 59 minutes late this evening.  another minute and i'd have got another fiver out of the delay claim thing


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 19, 2018)

Can't you just lie Puddy_Tat? They'll be swamped with claims so they probably won't check.   

When my delay is 29 or 59 minutes I check the number of seconds before the magic round number is recorded on the arrival time.  If it's more than 30 I just round it up, and argue with them if the get arse about it.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 20, 2018)

reading - wokingham line buggered again / still


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Nov 20, 2018)

Puddy_Tat said:


> reading - wokingham line buggered again / still



Are you there yet?


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Nov 20, 2018)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Are you there yet?



depends where you mean by 'there'...


----------



## tommers (Dec 14, 2018)

The two people opposite me on this train are both having deep conversations about themselves on their phones.

One of them went to see James Blunt recently.

It's half seven in the fucking morning.


----------



## tommers (Dec 14, 2018)

They got off at Imperial Wharf and were replaced by a man ranting at everybody about how we're not better than him with our phones and devices and looking at him funny and he's going to be a criminal if his work doesn't continue and he's going to target suburbia, people like us and he's not going to go away and you can call the police again if you like, he doesn't care cos he is mentally powerful and physically powerful and...


----------



## kabbes (Jan 22, 2019)

10:42 Eurostar to Paris due in 35 minutes late, which is fucking up my meeting.  Even when I get a fancy train, it gets fucked.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 22, 2019)

kabbes said:


> 10:42 Eurostar to Paris due in 35 minutes late, which is fucking up my meeting.  Even when I get a fancy train, it gets fucked.



A load of them we’re cancelled today. You should’ve flown, all the Gatwick-Paris fights went on time


----------



## teuchter (Jan 22, 2019)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> A load of them we’re cancelled today. You should’ve flown, all the Gatwick-Paris fights went on time


Very good. Complete nonsense though; looks like CDG is screwed up by the weather as well as Eurostar.



kabbes did well, he'd probably have been even more delayed if he'd flown


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 22, 2019)

teuchter said:


> Very good. Complete nonsense though; looks like CDG is screwed up by the weather as well as Eurostar.
> 
> View attachment 159483
> 
> kabbes did well, he'd probably have been even more delayed if he'd flown



Vueling (with BA&IB codeshare), bang on time.


----------



## twentythreedom (Jan 22, 2019)

teuchter said:


> Very good. Complete nonsense though; looks like CDG is screwed up by the weather as well as Eurostar.
> 
> View attachment 159483
> 
> kabbes did well, he'd probably have been even more delayed if he'd flown


"Airborne aircraft"? Do some of them drive overland from Calais or something if the weather is bad?


----------



## pogofish (Jan 22, 2019)

Err...!


----------



## kabbes (Jan 22, 2019)

teuchter said:


> Very good. Complete nonsense though; looks like CDG is screwed up by the weather as well as Eurostar.
> 
> View attachment 159483
> 
> kabbes did well, he'd probably have been even more delayed if he'd flown


Yeah, I was 10 minutes late, so basically missed the intros to people I already know.

I have to go to Paris regularly at the mo.  Wouldn’t dream of taking anything but the train.


----------



## teuchter (Jan 22, 2019)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Vueling (with BA&IB codeshare), bang on time.
> 
> View attachment 159487


Yeah, he could have got there on time if he'd got the flight that left Gatwick at 0750 instead of the train that left St Pancras at 1042.

As far as I can see, of the 4 flights in each direction between Gatwick and CDG, 50% of them were delayed today.

Interesting there's only 4 flights per day. Presumably because only complete lunatics fly between London and Paris.


----------



## Winot (Jan 23, 2019)

I had to fly to CDG a while ago because all Eurostars were cancelled (track fire or something). It’s a complete pain to end up so far from the centre of town.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 23, 2019)

teuchter said:


> Yeah, he could have got there on time if he'd got the flight that left Gatwick at 0750 instead of the train that left St Pancras at 1042.
> 
> As far as I can see, of the 4 flights in each direction between Gatwick and CDG, 50% of them were delayed today.
> 
> Interesting there's only 4 flights per day. Presumably because only complete lunatics fly between London and Paris.


I don’t even go from St Pancras — Ebbesfleet is much nearer.  I can arrive about 15 mins before the train leaves if I really want.
And when I get to Gare De Nord, I can walk to where I’m going.

Taking the plane seems like lunacy by comparison!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 23, 2019)

kabbes said:


> I don’t even go from St Pancras — Ebbesfleet is much nearer.  I can arrive about 15 mins before the train leaves if I really want.
> And when I get to Gare De Nord, I can walk to where I’m going.
> 
> Taking the plane seems like lunacy by comparison!



Tbf we issue probably 50 Eurostar tickets for every flight ticket to Brussels or Paris and I am a Carte Blanche member. However to get an early train from St Pancras means us staying overnight in London or schlepping to Ebbsfleet and leaving our car, which is no good if just one of us is traveling.

Plus the food in standard premier has gone to shit and it seems very vulnerable to weather, trackside fires, trespassers and so on.

Next month I need to take BB1 to the south of the Paris to be there at 11am and be back home by 8pm, flying from Heathrow does work best for that, much cheaper than Eurostar too. And on that, if you want to get to Paris in the next 24 hours Eurostar only offers full fare tickets, (>£300 in standard class), Vueling normally has space from Gatwick for under £80 each way, which seems to be why they operate on that route.


----------



## kabbes (Jan 23, 2019)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Tbf we issue probably 50 Eurostar tickets for every flight ticket to Brussels or Paris and I am a Carte Blanche member. However to get an early train from St Pancras means us staying overnight in London or schlepping to Ebbsfleet and leaving our car, which is no good if just one of us is traveling.
> 
> Plus the food in standard premier has gone to shit and it seems very vulnerable to weather, trackside fires, trespassers and so on.
> 
> Next month I need to take BB1 to the south of the Paris to be there at 11am and be back home by 8pm, flying from Heathrow does work best for that, much cheaper than Eurostar too. And on that, if you want to get to Paris in the next 24 hours Eurostar only offers full fare tickets, (>£300 in standard class), Vueling normally has space from Gatwick for under £80 each way, which seems to be why they operate on that route.


Ebbesfleet is an hour’s drive away and there’s a tonne of parking.  That’s easy, man.  I can leave home at 9 GMT with plenty of time to spare and still be in the Paris office by 1 GMT (delays notwithstanding).  Good luck doing that by plane.

(And I don’t care about costs because I’m not paying anyway!)

Food wise, I pick up something from the M&S in the station to eat en route. Much better than messing around in the train.  It’s not the best but it’s alright for a working day lunch. 

Train >>>> plane for half-day hops.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 23, 2019)

kabbes said:


> Ebbesfleet is an hour’s drive away and there’s a tonne of parking.  That’s easy, man.  I can leave home at 9 GMT with plenty of time to spare and still be in the Paris office by 1 GMT (delays notwithstanding).  Good luck doing that by plane.
> 
> (And I don’t care about costs because I’m not paying anyway!)



We only have the one car, so if it is just me going that means Frau Bahn is carless if I were to leave it at Ebbsfleet.

We're flying from T5 at 0720, car will collect us at 0600, then direct RER from Charles Dr Gaulle to Denfert Rochereau, piece of piss


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Jan 23, 2019)

Oh, and...



kabbes said:


> (And I don’t care about costs because I’m not paying anyway!)




That's the spirit


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 1, 2019)

hash tag said:


> To ease your blues, I see toilet charges have been "stopped" at both Victoria and Charing Cross. Not sure if this is temporary or permanent mind. They should never have charged in the first place, bloody privatisation.
> Not sure about Charing X, but the is a free loo in Wetherspoons at Victoria amongst other places.
> 
> Charing Cross and Victoria stations end toilet charges - BBC News



Free to pee at Waterloo now Free to pee at Waterloo as toilet charges scrapped 


Somewhere in Kent there's a  Bungle who's fucking furious at this news.


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Mar 1, 2019)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Free to pee at Waterloo now Free to pee at Waterloo as toilet charges scrapped
> 
> 
> Somewhere in Kent there's a  Bungle who's fucking furious at this news.



It must be a national thing as they stopped the charges at Manchester a while back.  Quite right too.


----------



## Puddy_Tat (Mar 1, 2019)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> Somewhere in Kent there's a Bungle who's fucking furious at this news.



don't take the piss...


----------



## Dogsauce (Mar 11, 2019)

teuchter said:


> Yeah, he could have got there on time if he'd got the flight that left Gatwick at 0750 instead of the train that left St Pancras at 1042.
> 
> As far as I can see, of the 4 flights in each direction between Gatwick and CDG, 50% of them were delayed today.
> 
> Interesting there's only 4 flights per day. Presumably because only complete lunatics fly between London and Paris.



I presume those flying would be mostly those with connecting flights from the same airport? Otherwise seems pointless unless you live on the doorstep.


----------



## A380 (Jul 26, 2019)

Tonight, no trains north out of St Pancrass- so that’s my Thameslink not working. Euston - so my normal plan B of Milton Keynes and then bus or taxi, or most of Kings Cross, so no plan C of Sandy and a taxi. Apparently about 1000 they started a shuttle train Kings X to Hitchin. Bus Hitchin Luton Airport and then a shuttle Airport to Bedford....

I’d arranged to meet an old friend for a quick beer after work..his wife was out so we morphed that into several beers and a curry and I’m now pissed in his spare room in Pinner.

Fuck Borris.


----------



## Badgers (Jul 26, 2019)




----------



## Badgers (Jul 26, 2019)




----------



## A380 (Oct 3, 2019)

Fuck Go Vile Thameslink. Tuesday and Wednesday they have had and extra four hours of my life. And tonight, no trains at all; which you would think was a bit of a prerequisite for running a railway. Still it’s not like I give them the fat end of £5,000 a year or anything. At least they always come up with novel excuses...


----------



## kabbes (Oct 3, 2019)

Make sure you claim


----------



## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Oct 3, 2019)

kabbes said:


> Make sure you claim


I make about 10, and up to 20 quid a week out of claims when I am traveling into London for work. 
The delays are not so bad down to Brighton, but they tend to cancel whole trains from Croydon and the pay off is higher so averages out about £10 too. 

Some shit happens every single day to give me an uncomfortable ride. . . And they had the cheek to send me a mail blocking me from making claims, because they thought I was making too many!!


----------



## kabbes (Oct 3, 2019)

Yeah, I’d say I get something approaching a tenner a week — maybe £8 or £9.  Don’t let those cunts get away with a penny!


----------



## xsunnysuex (Oct 4, 2019)

A380 said:


> Fuck Go Vile Thameslink. Tuesday and Wednesday they have had and extra four hours of my life. And tonight, no trains at all; which you would think was a bit of a prerequisite for running a railway. Still it’s not like I give them the fat end of £5,000 a year or anything. At least they always come up with novel excuses...


Yes I got caught out by them also. Had to accompany my sister to a worrying hospital appointment.  No bloody trains, so I had to fork out for a cab!


----------



## Badgers (Oct 4, 2019)

A380 said:


> Fuck Go Vile Thameslink. Tuesday and Wednesday they have had and extra four hours of my life. And tonight, no trains at all; which you would think was a bit of a prerequisite for running a railway. Still it’s not like I give them the fat end of £5,000 a year or anything. At least they always come up with novel excuses...


This has not been a good week has it? Have spent about 8ish hours delayed or whatever this week. Last night was especially shit.

Got to the station at 06:30 this morning to get a head start, hung around for half an hour and now have to change  which will likely yield more delays.


----------



## Badgers (Oct 4, 2019)

xsunnysuex said:


> Yes I got caught out by them also. Had to accompany my sister to a worrying hospital appointment.  No bloody trains, so I had to fork out for a cab!


Keep the receipt and claim it back


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Oct 4, 2019)

trained it to town and back yesterday afternoon, both trains arrived bang on time, just checked recenttraintimes.com and it seems all trains arrived within minutes of their scheduled times last night. Bastard South Western Railways, denying me a claim


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Nov 29, 2019)

SWR will have 27 days of strikes in December, and they are forecast to hit very hard. Good luck to anyone who needs to get to work that month.

What the fuck are the management doing not sorting this out?

And lols to the rancid comments sections of various online rags, they all go along the line of Welcome to Corbyn's Britain. Without seeming to realise that the fucking Tories are in power


----------



## binka (Dec 1, 2019)

My girlfriend lives in Bolton and I'm in Manchester, it's only 15 minutes on the train so that's how I do it every weekend. Below are screenshots from the national rail app for all departures from Bolton around lunch time for the last 3 weeks. State of trains in this country!


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 14, 2019)

binka said:


> My girlfriend lives in Bolton and I'm in Manchester, it's only 15 minutes on the train so that's how I do it every weekend. Below are screenshots from the national rail app for all departures from Bolton around lunch time for the last 3 weeks. State of trains in this country!
> 
> View attachment 191579 View attachment 191580 View attachment 191581


The Northern Fail app is quite damning - lists all the altered, late, cancelled services by date in the last couple of weeks or so.

Northern Fail app reveals full scale of passengers’ misery


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 19, 2019)

Should anyone travel on SWR during this month's strikes you can sit in first class if you like, the guards that are not RMT, therefore still working, are not checking tickets


----------



## kabbes (Dec 19, 2019)

3.25 hours to get home last night, since this thread has been resurrected.  No joy at London Bridge so travelled today Victoria — no joy there either.  Went to Vauxhall and basically assaulted my way onto a train that was vaguely going my way then spent £30 on a taxi to get me to my car.  Horrific stuff.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (Dec 19, 2019)

farmerbarleymow said:


> The Northern Fail app is quite damning - lists all the altered, late, cancelled services by date in the last couple of weeks or so.
> 
> Northern Fail app reveals full scale of passengers’ misery


Oh that's glorious!


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 19, 2019)

kabbes said:


> 3.25 hours to get home last night, since this thread has been resurrected.  No joy at London Bridge so travelled today Victoria — no joy there either.  Went to Vauxhall and basically assaulted my way onto a train that was vaguely going my way then spent £30 on a taxi to get me to my car.  Horrific stuff.




Sounds terrible. SWR is only doing two an hour from here and the last one from London leaves at 2245 now due to the strikes, but the trains that do run are pretty much all on time. Doesn’t help you much as I don’t think they are running any at all to Dorking...


----------



## kabbes (Dec 19, 2019)

That’s right, they aren’t.  Dorking always seems to be the first to get dropped, despite having full trains being disgorged twice an hour normally.  As soon as there is a strike, we get nothing.  Or if they lack staff or have signaling problems — just drop the Dorking train.


----------



## Bahnhof Strasse (Dec 19, 2019)

Yeah, I had the pleasure of going from Shepperton for six months once, just no trains for days at a time


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 19, 2019)

SWR not getting any love from me this week.

I commute from Barnes to Waterloo. During the strike, the first direct train is not until 6.58am (and often delayed and overcrowded, natch), so I've been walking to East Putney to get an earlier tube up to Waterloo as permitted to do so on the National Rail website (second page).

I've been doing this most days hassle free - either walking through open gates, or getting a TFL staff to open manually when I show them my season ticket, but the other day I get to East Putney to find all the gates closed and no staff on hand to let me through. I had to use the push button loudspeaker remote help thing to get TFL to call the Putney office, to get someone to come out.  5 mins later he shows, and claimed to know nothing about needing to let people through.

So I complain via @SWR_Help on twitter only to be told that disruption from industrial action doesn't count as "disruption" because it's "planned disruption". WTF. Is it really too much to ask to just let people use the tube during _all disruption_ - or at least make it clear what is the "right" type of disruption and what is the "wrong" type. These motherfuckers.

</bungle>


----------



## farmerbarleymow (Dec 19, 2019)

skyscraper101 said:


> </bungle>


That's annoying.  I've had similar conversations with station staff when things have went wrong due to delays, and I've had a fixed ticket.  'no you can't use any train company to your destination.  you have to wait at least an hour for the next train from the designated train company, or pay for a new ticket'.  For fucks sake, do these staff have a sense of reasonableness bypass when they take the job?

We definitely get bungled by the train industry.


----------



## skyscraper101 (Dec 19, 2019)

farmerbarleymow said:


> We definitely get bungled by the train industry.



You'd think these profit harvesting private rail companies would all stick together in times of strike action.

I suspect it's too much to ask too, that their advice be consistent.


----------



## rubbershoes (Dec 19, 2019)

The M5 was solid last night due to an accident. The sliproad wasn't moving so i went over the hills.  The narrow country lanes are dicey enough at the best of times  but they were  awash with standing water and it was absolutely terrifying


----------



## ice-is-forming (Jan 7, 2020)

This is my daily commute, a 2k walk down the beach...

From this here...



To here..


----------



## teuchter (Jan 8, 2020)

farmerbarleymow said:


> That's annoying.  I've had similar conversations with station staff when things have went wrong due to delays, and I've had a fixed ticket.  'no you can't use any train company to your destination.  you have to wait at least an hour for the next train from the designated train company, or pay for a new ticket'.  For fucks sake, do these staff have a sense of reasonableness bypass when they take the job?



If they advised you in these circumstances that you could take a train operated by a different company then they would you be advising you to travel witout a valid ticket and you'd be liable for penalty fares and allsorts - so, no, they would not have had a sense of reasonableness bypass. 

</bungle>


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## farmerbarleymow (Jan 23, 2020)

Nearly five hours to get home tonight, the bastards.


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## mx wcfc (Jan 29, 2020)

Ok, so the derailment at Eastleigh isn't South Western Trains fault or Cross Country's fault.  TBF, SWT are running a shuttle between Basingstoke and Winchester.  One train, so every 45 mins or so, and tonight, the shuttle from Basingstoke to Winchester left JUST BEFORE trains from Reading and London arrived. Useless dickheads.  45 min wait at Basingstoke, then 20 min wait for a bus at Winch.   🚂


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## T & P (Mar 21, 2020)

Well, this thread is usually filled with reports of bad commuting experiences, so I thought for a change it can be used to report quite  the opposite.

I am sure I am not alone among those of us still commuting in London at street level in these surreal times to experience the fastest and most pleasant of experiences. Tonight it took me about 14-15 minutes on my motorbike from Chelsea to Tulse Hill. And wasn’t through speeding at all- simply due to the roads being almost deserted.

All other types of road users from cyclists to motor vehicles to buses were today visibly enjoying empty roads and virtually zero congestion, even in the very centre of town.

I do wonder if buses’ schedules have been modified or are still being enforced. We’ve all experienced the dreaded ‘this bus will sit at this bus stop for a while to help regulate the service’ when traffic has been lighter than usual. If they’re still implementing that policy these days it must be fucking infuriating to travel on a bus through empty roads that has to take multiple three-minute rests at bus stops to keep within the established schedule.


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## Big Bertha (Mar 21, 2020)

I’ve been cycling in from catford and it’s been a delight.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Mar 21, 2020)

Drove from Godalming to Sunbury to Bagshot and back to Godalming today, just to share the virus and that, fucking lush, can’t recall roads being so empty other than Christmas Day.


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## Puddy_Tat (Mar 21, 2020)

T & P said:


> I do wonder if buses’ schedules have been modified or are still being enforced. We’ve all experienced the dreaded ‘this bus will sit at this bus stop for a while to help regulate the service’ when traffic has been lighter than usual. If they’re still implementing that policy these days it must be fucking infuriating to travel on a bus through empty roads that has to take multiple three-minute rests at bus stops to keep within the established schedule.



London buses are going on to Saturday schedules as from Monday

Not sure how TFL bus contractors are dealing with it all - it's possible they are a bit short of drivers due to sickness / self isolating, in which case they may be managing to run the service with a few buses missing from the schedule, but each bus getting round a bit quicker - on the 'frequent routes' it's more about maintaining an even headway than each bus running at its correct time.


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## T & P (Apr 11, 2020)

I’ve had to go into work a couple of times this week, the first time on the road since late March. The lockdown appears to have introduced new behaviour patterns among just about all types of road users, in London at least.

Pedestrians have lowered their already poor space awareness skills even further, with fewer than ever before bothering with an ever cursory look before crossing the street. Joggers meanwhile have taken to running on the road instead of the pavement even when there’s a decent amount of cars about, perhaps to keep social distancing with peds.

Cyclists and motor vehicle users alike seem to be jumping red lights and ignoring the Highway Code at levels I had never seen in the UK previously. The latter group is also indulging in liberal speeding. And to top it all owners of those non road legal silly scooters are not only back out in large numbers but often riding bang in the middle of the road at 15 mph with no lights or reflective wear. Joined by the odd skateboarder.

It’s just the unicyclists who’ve failed to join join the party, but they’ll be along soon I suspect


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## A380 (Apr 13, 2020)

T & P said:


> I’ve had to go into work a couple of times this week, the first time on the road since late March. The lockdown appears to have introduced new behaviour patterns among just about all types of road users, in London at least.
> 
> Pedestrians have lowered their already poor space awareness skills even further, with fewer than ever before bothering with an ever cursory look before crossing the street. Joggers meanwhile have taken to running on the road instead of the pavement even when there’s a decent amount of cars about, perhaps to keep social distancing with peds.
> 
> ...



Sounds like the time has come for:


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## teuchter (Apr 13, 2020)

I agree, remove all cars from london and let them rust away in a desert somewhere. 
I'm hoping that enough people see how great london could be, with this level of traffic, and no virus, that when it's all over, there might be just a little more support for schemes that try and reduce the number of motor vehicles on the road.


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## T & P (Apr 14, 2020)

Driving with such light traffic is certainly a delight. The other day it took me an unprecedented and record-smashing 12 minutes to get from Chelsea to Tulse Hill on my bike. I wasn't overspeeding either.


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## T & P (May 25, 2021)

Today I had to go early into work, which very rarely happens. Full rush hour territory, at 8 am.

Being used to the 9.30 am more gentile commuters, it's extraordinary how many dead-wish aggresive fucking wankers there are at the peak of the rush hour. The difference in attitide, in particular between the 8 am cyclists and end-of-rush-hour cyclists is like night and day. I'm surprised they don't fight each other at traffic lights, frankly


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## Elpenor (May 25, 2021)

teuchter said:


> I agree, remove all cars from london and let them rust away in a desert somewhere.
> I'm hoping that enough people see how great london could be, with this level of traffic, and no virus, that when it's all over, there might be just a little more support for schemes that try and reduce the number of motor vehicles on the road.


Vehicles are generally stored in deserts to prevent rust, for example planes at Victorville. Dry arid climates aren’t conducive to rust developing.


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## cybershot (Aug 2, 2021)

Almost got took out this morning on the hard shoulder (smart motorway section) of the M6 when a van decided it was going to move into the lane (I was probably in his blind spot when he started moving across) luckily i was on the ball as was the driver behind. Don't think I want to review that dash cam footage!


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## kabbes (Mar 21, 2022)

Back to moaning about the commute, although less often per week.

I could start on about the heavily reduced train service. Not only does it cause a headache in itself but it also means that a cancelled train can now mean an entire hour’s delay.

However, I will start my moan with this: South Western (may they forever rot in hell) seem to have _removed all dustbins_ from their trains. The result is a predictable litter tsunami.  There is nowhere to put a used coffee cup but on the floor or to keep it in hand. And when people are carrying lots of things and trying to get things in and out of bags, it’s not going to be in hand.


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 21, 2022)

kabbes said:


> However, I will start my moan with this: South Western (may they forever rot in hell) seem to have _removed all dustbins_ from their trains. The result is a predictable litter tsunami.


Can't you do your bit for society by taking a bin bag with you and tidy the train up.  That's not too much to ask.


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## tommers (Mar 21, 2022)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Can't you do your bit for society by taking a bin bag with you and tidy the train up.  That's not too much to ask.


Good idea. That's what I would do if I was in kabbes shoes. Maybe walk up and down a couple of carriages asking for people to put their rubbish in my black bag. The solution is right there, really.


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## Dogsauce (Mar 21, 2022)

tommers said:


> Good idea. That's what I would do if I was in kabbes shoes. Maybe walk up and down a couple of carriages asking for people to put their rubbish in my black bag. The solution is right there, really.


Clean for the Queen, while you still can.


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## High Voltage (Mar 21, 2022)

And maybe by way of recompense and in recognition of a service to fellow commuter, he could be allowed to have a bit of a drive of the train as well . . . seems only fair


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 21, 2022)

High Voltage said:


> And maybe by way of recompense and in recognition of a service to fellow commuter, he could be allowed to have a bit of a drive of the train as well . . . seems only fair


Indeed - just how hard is it to drive a train anyway?


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## existentialist (Mar 21, 2022)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Indeed - just how hard is it to drive a train anyway?


It's not like you have to steer, or anything


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## High Voltage (Mar 21, 2022)

farmerbarleymow said:


> Indeed - just how hard is it to drive a train anyway?


You're not even driving it, it goes on rails, so all you have to do, basically, is start it, speed it up, slow it down and stop it


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## farmerbarleymow (Mar 21, 2022)

High Voltage said:


> You're not even driving it, it goes on rails, so all you have to do, basically, is start it, speed it up, slow it down and stop it


Piece of piss.  The driver could put a brick on the pedals and help clean up the train along with kabbes


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## kabbes (Mar 21, 2022)




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## BigMoaner (Mar 21, 2022)

my favourites at teh moment are people face timing without headphones on quiet, silent carriages. i have a busy life. kids, stressful job, helping elderly parents. the half hour commute has become a sacred bit of me time, either to listen to music or sit in silence. but no Keith wants to talk loudly about his new kitchen and doesn't give a fuck who over hears. to me it's as rude as me sitting on a train banging a drum. snipers, please. in every carriage.


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## BigMoaner (Mar 21, 2022)

the gradual invasion of technology into public spaces. people can't just do without can they. another fav is people playing music in parks on their speakers. it's the assumption that other people want to hear it. to me these are acts of public violence. i'm not joking, either. conciousness is sacred. there's an autonomy and somethign profound about being able to loose oneself in ones own thought without distraction. but oh no here's Keith again blasting Jay Z through the park. I'm big on manners. big on teaching kids how to live harmonously with others. don't care if it makes me old fashioned. doesn't the circle in the anarchy A symbolise order? allow each other space wtihout invasion, noise or otherwise.


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## BigMoaner (Mar 21, 2022)




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## StoneRoad (Mar 21, 2022)

Just remembered why I wanted to move out of Newcastle ...

Had the unpleasant experience of driving into the middle of town, via the northern route.
Still loads of roadworks [some long term] to slow you down.
Then went across part of a double roundabout, the approach has been massively "improved" when a bridge was rebuilt ... except it hasn't, as half the inbound side is now a "Bus Lane" and the roundabout should be lights controlled as the traffic pattern is unbalanced in the "rush hours".
A journey that should take perhaps 50 - 55 minutes took over an hour and 10 minutes. 
[I was alongside that quite short Bus Lane for almost 10 minutes waiting to cross that roundabout  - one double decker and a coach, plus five taxis and two motorbikes, in all that time ... ]


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Mar 21, 2022)

Dogsauce said:


> Clean for the Queen, while you still can.


'Big Society' and all that.


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## teuchter (Mar 21, 2022)

StoneRoad said:


> Just remembered why I wanted to move out of Newcastle ...
> 
> Had the unpleasant experience of driving into the middle of town, via the northern route.
> Still loads of roadworks [some long term] to slow you down.
> ...


You've got an objection to things being improved for bus passengers, at the expense of car drivers?

Buses in many places get stuck in traffic jams that are caused by private vehicles, and it's one of the things that puts people off using public transport. The more bus lanes the better.


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## kabbes (Mar 21, 2022)

I can report that the south western train coming home has dustbins. First SW train with dustbins I’ve seen for two weeks


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## bimble (Mar 21, 2022)

Went on the tube today, first trip to the big city in a long time, and seeing about 9/10 people maskless just made me feel sad. Very glad I don’t have to do that every day anymore. Really shite busker as well, has any song been murdered as many times as hallelujah idk.


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## Artaxerxes (Mar 21, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> the gradual invasion of technology into public spaces. people can't just do without can they. another fav is people playing music in parks on their speakers. it's the assumption that other people want to hear it. to me these are acts of public violence. i'm not joking, either. conciousness is sacred. there's an autonomy and somethign profound about being able to loose oneself in ones own thought without distraction. but oh no here's Keith again blasting Jay Z through the park. I'm big on manners. big on teaching kids how to live harmonously with others. don't care if it makes me old fashioned. doesn't the circle in the anarchy A symbolise order? allow each other space wtihout invasion, noise or otherwise.




I’m on a bike with speakers aren’t I clever.


No your as big a shit as the lads in cars with big speakers vibrating windows as they go past. Worse because your slower.


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## T & P (Apr 9, 2022)

I was caught in the ultimate traffic jam on my way to LHR earlier today to pick up a friend, who was travelling with two heavy cases so public transport was not really feasible. From the start of the M4 proper (by the Sky HQ) to the airport, it took 2h 10m,  due to junction 3 being closed this weekend for some incredibly stupid reason.At the start of the Easter half term holiday 

During a period in which the traffic was completely stationary for several minutes, and with my bladder about to burst, I had to get out and take a piss. On the fast lane. It’ll be interesting to see if I get a ticket through the post.


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## Puddy_Tat (Apr 9, 2022)

T & P said:


> It’ll be interesting to see if I get a ticket through the post.



might depends if you were hands-free


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## T & P (Apr 9, 2022)

Puddy_Tat said:


> might depends if you were hands-free


There were quite a few people driving on the hard shoulder. Which I reckon they might regret…


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## BigMoaner (Apr 9, 2022)

been commuting now every day nearly for hte past six months and can safely say, the idea of a silent train carriage or bus, other than the quiet chat of two or more people together, is over. finished. part of history. loud headphones, people rabbiting away into phones, people watching videos without headphones, people watching insta without headphones.

the quiet communal space of public transport  is over. gone for good never to return.

parks are almost getting the same, especially in teh summer. there's a trendy yuppie foodmarket every sunday in mine selling alsorts of overpriced stuff and probably every third stall has got music playing. so instead of a busy bustling market where the sounds are people talkign and socialising, kids playing etc, it's beyonce bellowing out.

i sound like an old fart, and i knwo full well there are far more pressing problems in teh world lol. i just at a stage of my life where i see value and beauty in quiet and silence. i always associated right from a child public parks and public transport with that. i can remember my mum if i was being noisey on teh bus saying "quiet a bit, there's people around".


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

think it was althusser who went on about being captured by "the state ideological apparatus", that the contents of human conciousness is inherently and inescapably ideological. so from taht it makes sense to discover what in teh world is perhaps outside of that capturing. silence is one of them, like the ocean, or a mountain - without ideological taint, or something. Steve don't give a fuck though as he streams the Madrid PSG match from his phone without headphones on the 159 replacingn the silence.

and yes i am fun at parties


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## teuchter (Apr 10, 2022)

I agree some kind of threshold of acceptability seems to have been broached recently. To the point that it might be time to give up on the idea of most people being thoughtful about others on public transport...and travel with noise cancelling headphones or something.


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## Bahnhof Strasse (Apr 10, 2022)

It’s just an extension of the me me me culture promoted by vacuous morons on those love island out of here things that seem to be constantly rolling on the dross-box, encouraging these people in the false belief that their life has some kind of meaning that others should give a shit about, therefore it’s fine to impose it on every cunt in the area.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

Bahnhof Strasse said:


> It’s just an extension of the me me me culture promoted by vacuous morons on those love island out of here things that seem to be constantly rolling on the dross-box, encouraging these people in the false belief that their life has some kind of meaning that others should give a shit about, therefore it’s fine to impose it on every cunt in the area.


I think people use the journey as a chance to call people they need to. Oh a long boring train journey? Perfect for catching up with everyone. Notice next time a lot just go from one call to the next, filling the whole journey with natter. Fine in and of it’s self, but not so fine if it means the death of shared communal quiet space.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

There's the great final few scenes of clockers where the main character is given an escape route out of the city by Harvey Keitel, and ends up on a train out, having never left the city. He's staring ot the window. To me a journey has the power to change someone, as at last they are left alone with their own thoughts and lives with nothign to do other than sit. In my view, it's crazy to think that hte brain doesn't need time like that (and its supported by research - i think). my daily bus journey into work was instrumental i see looking back in healing after divorce - my brain at last given some space and quiet to work its way through the pain.

 I've been in and around Buddhism for years and it's all the same principle. At last, just sit and see where you truly are. Dog walkers report the same. Here it is. One of my favoruite film endings.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

so yeh sorry, heavy, but value these quiet spaces in life.


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## Elpenor (Apr 10, 2022)

I know what you mean. A mate of mine came along to a night out. He was offered a lift but said he’d take the train on his own as with a busy job and a 1 year old, he was looking forward of 3 hours of doing nothing and no demands on his attention


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

Elpenor said:


> I know what you mean. A mate of mine came along to a night out. He was offered a lift but said he’d take the train on his own as with a busy job and a 1 year old, he was looking forward of 3 hours of doing nothing and no demands on his attention


that's exactly it. to me the journeys are truly like mini vacations. my life (which i love) just doesn't stop.


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## Winot (Apr 10, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> that's exactly it. to me the journeys are truly like mini vacations. my life (which i love) just doesn't stop.


A liminal space in which you are given the opportunity to just be.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

Winot said:


> A liminal space in which you are given the opportunity to just be.


yep, teh system chucking us a bone.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

Winot said:


> A liminal space in which you are given the opportunity to just be.


but even when someone is not noisey, it's very difficult to do - so look down the carriage next time and notice probably 80% staring at their phone. the idea of putting it away and staring out the window is alien to a lot of people. it's fair enough. but there's something natural and valuable about doing that. i know we are not that any more, but you think when we used to hunt, the wide distances of "nothign much going on". our brains have not changed that much since. dog walkers often report that they love the walk as much as the dog. there's a reason for that. there's not much going on, its prob the same route tehy take, but there's value in allowing the brain to function without constant magnetic pull into distraction.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

nearly the whole structure of buddhism is built on the same principle. accessing and identifying the eternal now etc.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

anyway, steve, turn the fucking headphones down!!!


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## Winot (Apr 10, 2022)

BigMoaner said:


> but even when someone is not noisey, it's very difficult to do - so look down the carriage next time and notice probably 80% staring at their phone. the idea of putting it away and staring out the window is alien to a lot of people. it's fair enough. but there's something natural and valuable about doing that. i know we are not that any more, but you think when we used to hunt, the wide distances of "nothign much going on". our brains have not changed that much since. dog walkers often report that they love the walk as much as the dog. there's a reason for that. there's not much going on, its prob the same route tehy take, but there's value in allowing the brain to function without constant magnetic pull into distraction.


I find it almost impossible. 

Lucky though that my commute is by bicycle. The equivalent of a dog walk.


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## BigMoaner (Apr 10, 2022)

a good experiment to see how deeply we are plugged in (and its not a judgement, i am just as bad as anyone else) is to go into a pret or busy cafe etc and choose a seat and sit facing everyone.

and just _sit and have a coffee._ with nothing. no newspaper. no phone out. no headphones. _just sit and drink a coffee _and watch people notice you and you can almost see them thinking what the fuck is that guy going doing.  as my mate said, "if you haven't got a window seat you're fucked" lol.

i find it very uncomfortable but i think that's what people used to do, no? they would have a pint or a coffee with NOTHING other than that simple act. again a small window of the brain operating without being pulled elsewehre.


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## existentialist (Apr 10, 2022)

teuchter said:


> I agree some kind of threshold of acceptability seems to have been broached recently. To the point that it might be time to give up on the idea of most people being thoughtful about others on public transport...and travel with noise cancelling headphones or something.


Or while lovingly fingering the blade of an axe.


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## teuchter (Apr 10, 2022)

I did have a small victory recently when someone was doing the speakerphone conversation thing in the seat in front of me - it turned out that scrunching a crisp bag very noisily near the back of their head prompted a change in behaviour.


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## T & P (May 4, 2022)

There was some serious incident at the Brixton Hill end of Christchurch Road this evening that resulted in the major thoroughfare that is the South Circular being closed both ways.

Before the advent of LTNs this would have resulted in nothing more than a 10-minute delay for the through traffic. But thanks to the two-headed monster that is the Upper Tulse Hill and the gargantuan Leigham Court LTN combo, such scenario now involves a half hour detour to cover less than a mile. As well as a gridlock affecting tens of thousands of local residents over a very large area, plus the environmental consequences of both gridlocked traffic, and hundreds if not thousands of vehicles having to take a three mile diversion route to rejoin the main road a mere half mile away from the closed off spot.

So yeah, a lovely evening commute for all concerned. The only consolation was that the privileged residents of the preposterously unjustifiable and vast Leighham Court LTN got a taste of it all, as hundreds upon hundreds of vehicles trying to bypass the blocked main road drove onto their exclusive gated roads back and forth for hours as they found they weren’t allowed to drive through at the other end and had to double back.

Not against all LTNs (in fact the Railton Road one gets my full approval), but what a fucking ill-thought disgrace the Tulse Hill ones are.


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## kabbes (Aug 1, 2022)

Dorking now only has one train an hour to Waterloo, but at least it has two (slower) trains to Victoria. I mean, these are a shit option for me because they then require a 15 minute tube ride though London rather than a quick hop into the City, but the option is there.

In the morning, for example, you  now have the Waterloo at 7:30 and the Victoria at 7:36 and 8:07 before back to the Waterloo one at 8:30.

This is pretty shit because I always used to get the 8:00 Waterloo to get into work for about 9:25. But I suck it up and either get up early enough to catch the 7:30 or just get the 8:07 Victoria train and get in at about 9:50

Only, this morning, having already decided to do the latter, I checked the train app and found that the 8:07 had been cancelled. So Dorking — a major commuter hub — had no trains to London at all between 7:36 and 8:30, which should be prime commute time.

Properly shit.

Instead, I drove the extra distance to Leatherhead station, which is another 10km away. That has the extra Waterloo train per hour (as well as all the ones from Dorking), so I could catch an 8:08. That’s when I discovered that while a return to Waterloo costs £25 from Dorking, it’s only £18.10 from Leatherhead.

That extra 10km each way costs £6.90.

The petrol even in these expensive times costs about £2.50.

How can the marginal cost of a longer journey cost almost three times the price by train than by car?  How can this be justified when we want to encourage public transport use?  And that’s on top of having completely hollowed out the service and then cancelled what’s left?

The public transport system, like all our other public services, is utterly broken.


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## locomotive (Aug 1, 2022)

kabbes said:


> Dorking now only has one train an hour to Waterloo, but at least it has two (slower) trains to Victoria. I mean, these are a shit option for me because they then require a 15 minute tube ride though London rather than a quick hop into the City, but the option is there.
> 
> In the morning, for example, you  now have the Waterloo at 7:30 and the Victoria at 7:36 and 8:07 before back to the Waterloo one at 8:30.
> 
> ...



Modernization, init.


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## teuchter (Aug 1, 2022)

kabbes said:


> Dorking now only has one train an hour to Waterloo, but at least it has two (slower) trains to Victoria. I mean, these are a shit option for me because they then require a 15 minute tube ride though London rather than a quick hop into the City, but the option is there.
> 
> In the morning, for example, you  now have the Waterloo at 7:30 and the Victoria at 7:36 and 8:07 before back to the Waterloo one at 8:30.
> 
> ...


How busy are those trains compared with pre-pandemic, would you say?


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## kabbes (Aug 1, 2022)

teuchter said:


> How busy are those trains compared with pre-pandemic, would you say?


It varies, frankly. Some days, they’re more rammed than ever. Others, much emptier.  As a general note, though: even when they’re much emptier, I would say they are occupied to a bit bring comfortable maximum by the time they’re into zone 3 or 2, ie all the seats are full with many standing up. They just aren’t at stupid levels of claustrophobia.

It’s also a bit chicken and egg. I know lots of people who are seriously put off going in because of how awful the train service now is.


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## teuchter (Aug 1, 2022)

kabbes said:


> It varies, frankly. Some days, they’re more rammed than ever. Others, much emptier.  As a general note, though: even when they’re much emptier, I would say they are occupied to a bit bring comfortable maximum by the time they’re into zone 3 or 2, ie all the seats are full with many standing up. They just aren’t at stupid levels of claustrophobia.
> 
> It’s also a bit chicken and egg. I know lots of people who are seriously put off going in because of how awful the train service now is.


Yes, that chicken and egg situation is always a killer for public transport.

I don't think it's ok to cut services like this so don't take any of the following as a defence of it, but have you considered Thameslink options at all? Depending on where you need to get to in the city they might provide additional choices without needing to use the tube.

One route is changing at Sutton or Epsom onto the Thameslink services that run in to Blackfriars, City Thameslink & Farringdon via Elephant. The other would involve the North Downs line (from Dorking Deepdene or Dorking West) and changing at Redhill onto the fast Thameslink services that run in via London Bridge. 

I realise that changing is never desirable because then each journey relies on two services not being cancelled/delayed rather than one. And having a bunch of journey options that don't start from the same station means that if something's cancelled at the last minute you can't easily flip to the other station.

Were you to try something like that I can recommend this slightly obscure app:









						Commuter Train Check (Live Times & Journey Plan) – Apps on Google Play
					

Quickly and easily find out live train times and plan train journeys in the UK.




					play.google.com
				




which will let you set up multiple departure & arrival destinations for a certain journey, and then show you live info for all of them alongside each other so you can make a decision at a given moment prior to reaching a station.

The price difference between Dorking and Leatherhead seems pretty much proportional to the distance travelled. So, the £ per mile of either option is similar. I agree it shouldn't be loads cheaper by car. Of course I think that the rail fares should be decreased, but also the cost of private road travel increased and used to subsidise public transport.


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## kabbes (Aug 1, 2022)

Ta, that’s all really useful. I didn’t really know about Thameslink at al, so I’ll look into that. 

The fragmentation all makes life much more difficult than it feels like it should be. They reduce services from Waterloo and justify it by saying you can take a train to somewhere else and change at eg Epsom but when things go wrong, there’s no attempt to triage the service to allow for people that are now relying on a train change. This means a 30 minute delay can become an hour’s delay. It all means that what should be a really straightforward journey is stressful instead. 

I would prioritise an integrated public transport system for public funding and not expect it to pay directly for itself. The cost is more than justified by the indirect savings that are made across the whole economy.


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