# Massage Therapist Phone Protocol



## Trufflepig (Apr 19, 2012)

Hello Folks,

I have worked in massage part-time since qualifying about 5 years ago, I've recently returned from further studies in the US (an incredibly inspiring 28 day intensive in California) and have now taken on a treatment room in a clinic full-time.  The clinic has psychotherapists, hypnotherapists, and medical staff on sharing the space also.  Most of my established clients have arrived via word of mouth, mainly through the yoga and climbing scene - now there are more cold callers, and I'm trying to build my practice. 

The receptionist tells me a majority of new inquiries for massage are from women who seem enthusiastic until they find out that I'm male and there the conversation ends.  As a white, middle class, hetero male I'm not usually a target for discrimination unless I mention massage in social settings when I get predictable dull jokes about happy endings etc. I generally take it lightly and set them straight but I find that a lot easier in person than over the phone.

One caller this week said it "might be ok if he's gay, or blind(!)" - the receptionist was a bit thrown by the comment and after a period of awkward silence she hung up. We have been trying to workout how best to handle such calls (and attitudes generally) I wondered if the collective wisdom of urban could help.

Any thoughts?

TP


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## DotCommunist (Apr 19, 2012)

go gay?


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## Mr Smin (Apr 19, 2012)

Don't take this as expert advice, but can you put up a short video (less than 5 mins) on your/the clinic's website with a bit of face-to-camera and a bit of you working on a client (who should be female)? The receptionist can then direct hesitant callers to that so they can get an idea of what they are letting themselves in for.


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## 5t3IIa (Apr 19, 2012)

Mr Smin said:


> Don't take this as expert advice, but can you put up a short video (less than 5 mins) on your/the clinic's website with a bit of face-to-camera and a bit of you working on a client (who should be female)? The receptionist can then direct hesitant callers to that so they can get an idea of what they are letting themselves in for.


 
That sounds like a good idea. Wear a white coat too. Semiotics


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## stuff_it (Apr 19, 2012)

Act camp in the video as well, perhaps some self-tan and an expensive haircut too...


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## quimcunx (Apr 19, 2012)

What are their concerns though? Is it ''pervy man touching me'' or ''it's bad enough showing my rubbish body to a woman let alone a man. What if he's cute and I look a mess?'' 

video seems a good idea.


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## joustmaster (Apr 19, 2012)

promise not to have an much of an erection


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## sim667 (Apr 19, 2012)

Get the receptionist to tell them they only have to give you a happy finish if they want to.


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## Trufflepig (Apr 19, 2012)

Thanks folks, a video sounds like a great idea  A clip showing proper draping and talking through examples of detailed work would really help.


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## 5t3IIa (Apr 19, 2012)

. nm


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## colacubes (Apr 19, 2012)

On the specific comment that person said, I suspect they were shocked you were a bloke and said the comment without thought.  If I were the receptionist I would have said something along the lines that I don't think that sort of comment is really appropriate, and if they had continued along that sort of line, put the phone down after a warning that would be the consequence (I have to occasionally deal with abusive callers at work - much worse than this tbh  - and that's our policy).

The idea of a video that you can point them to on your website to make them feel more comfortable is a good one.  Also, is it possible that the receptionist is close to where you give the massages and that you can reassure clients that they can call to her if necessary?

Otherwise I'm afraid it strikes me as something of an unsolvable problem.  Some women just won't be comfortable with a man giving them a massage, in the same way they might not be comfortable seeing a male doctor, nurse, gym instructor, diet consultant etc about certain issues.  It's not a sexual thing, but that's just the way it is for some people.  I think it's a bit strong to say it's discrimination though.


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## Trufflepig (Apr 19, 2012)

nipsla said:


> On the specific comment that person said, I suspect they were shocked you were a bloke and said the comment without thought. If I were the receptionist I would have said something along the lines that I don't think that sort of comment is really appropriate, and if they had continued along that sort of line, put the phone down after a warning that would be the consequence (I have to occasionally deal with abusive callers at work - much worse than this tbh  - and that's our policy).


 
Thankyou - re-reading my post I see I did not make it clear that it was the caller who hung up.  The receptionist is male, a grandfatherly hippy guy in his late 60s


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## stuff_it (Apr 19, 2012)

Trufflepig said:


> Thankyou - re-reading my post I see I did not make it clear that it was the caller who hung up. The receptionist is male, a grandfatherly hippy guy in his late 60s


You're going to struggle to get a sizeable portion of women through the door with a male receptionist as well. Are you a member of any online federations etc? Could you join any? Encourage your customers (or mates  ) to leave feedback online somewhere? One thing I'd say don't have some extremely hot model looking person in the video in case some people are worried about body issues - try and get your mum or your auntie or something - even introduce them as such....


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## 5t3IIa (Apr 19, 2012)

I'd rather have a male masseuse, I must say


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## Trufflepig (Apr 19, 2012)

stuff_it said:


> You're going to struggle to get a sizeable portion of women through the door with a male receptionist as well. Are you a member of any online federations etc? Could you join any? Encourage your customers (or mates  ) to leave feedback online somewhere? One thing I'd say don't have some extremely hot model looking person in the video in case some people are worried about body issues - try and get your mum or your auntie or something - even introduce them as such....


 
The centre is pretty busy, the receptionists wife is usually around too - Shes a Marie-Curie nurse working out of the room above me, I have trained in lymphatic work for cancer care (my Mum was going through chemo last year - much better now  Its not bells and smells or a rub & tug, its really quite depressing the comments people cannot resist making.

I had not really thought about the model making people uncomfortable - thanks for that


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## stuff_it (Apr 19, 2012)

Trufflepig said:


> The centre is pretty busy, the receptionists wife is usually around too - Shes a Marie-Curie nurse working out of the room above me, I have trained in lymphatic work for cancer care (my Mum was going through chemo last year - much better now  Its not bells and smells or a rub & tug, its really quite depressing the comments people cannot resist making.
> 
> I had not really thought about the model making people uncomfortable - thanks for that


I know you mean proper massage! My mum was ill last year with cancer. Maybe really big up this bit of your training, even speak to your local Macmillan nurse about your training. I thing under the circs there would definitely be an advantage to involving your mum (or a lady to pretend they are your mum if she's not up for it) to show what to expect. You could even offer stuff like discounts for people who are on benefits because of their cancer, a lesser discount for people with cancer who aren't poor enough to receive any benefits, and a free first massage for any cancer patient that the Macmillan people recommend to you...


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## quimcunx (Apr 19, 2012)

5t3IIa said:


> I'd rather have a male masseuse, I must say


 

But would you?  Really?  What experience are you basing this on?


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## equationgirl (Apr 19, 2012)

It's more important to me that the massage therapist is good at their job to be honest.

I think the ideas about the video and the model are really good


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## ShiftyBagLady (Apr 19, 2012)

5t3IIa said:


> I'd rather have a male masseuse, I must say


Maybe it's got something to do with the tradition of male medics or something.
I feel the same though.The best massage I ever had was from a man. He left the practise and I had one from his female colleague but it just wasn't the same and I don't think it was the suspense of wondering if he'd give me a happy finish, he was just a bit firmer. I find women tend to be a bit gentle or cautious with me. I still haven't found the one who does it just right but that man came very very close to perfection.


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## 5t3IIa (Apr 19, 2012)

quimcunx said:


> But would you?  Really?  What experience are you basing this on?



Are you arguing with me?  

It's prob to do with being comfortable being touched by a male. And if you think thats a bit weird and sexy I'll counter that by saying its pretty fucking odd to think that a male medical practitioner is going to judge ones body any more than a female one, or that's it got anything to do with sex


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## silverfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I've crack therapeutic massage with blokes and women. I'm easy either way but I'm aware that as a bloke it can sometimes be a bit nervy for a masseur when a hairy 17 stone bloke she doesn't know walks in, I think thats why I've seen a few ladies spa massage/beauty places that would do blokes but only by introduction.

Likewise I presume a women lying naked on a bench getting massaged by a bloke of (as yet) unknown provenance is initially a nervy experience

either way it seems to be womens initial nervousness to unknown men that is the problem.

To me I almost feel I have to "disarm" the massuer and be non threatening, in a similar vein I would cross the street on a night if I was walking behind a women
Just a hypothesis, don't bite my head of 

My most disturbing massage was in a hammam in Morocco I went to with a japanese mate I was surfing with. Spent the session  getting brutalized by moustachioed  blokes in wet y-fronts and then harranged for extra wedge/services unknown, very disturbing

Bottom line is we should all be a bit less suspicious and paranoid about our bodies and other peoples motives towards them and perhaps stop flattering ourselves that the masseur would risk their career/job feeling us up rather than any one of a number of wobbly greased up bodies they have laid their hands on in the working day


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## quimcunx (Apr 19, 2012)

5t3IIa said:


> Are you arguing with me?
> 
> It's prob to do with being comfortable being touched by a male. And if you think thats a bit weird and sexy I'll counter that by saying its pretty fucking odd to think that a male medical practitioner is going to judge ones body any more than a female one, or that's it got anything to do with sex


 
No.  Asking.  Have you been running an argument in your head since quoting and deleting my previous post?    Your 2nd para  seems to suggest you have made up in your head what I'm thinking!

The OP's experience is that women are shying away from being massaged by a man and presumably they have a reason for this. One suggestion seemed to be to do with happy endings but I'm wondering if it's more to do with how women feel about being naked and feeling unattractive in front of people especially a straight sighted man. 

I used to go to trainee osteos and have to strip to bra and knickers.  When I got there I would suddenly remember that I hadn't shave my legs and my squirrel would be making escape attempts and just be glad there wasn't a mirror so I could block out how rubbish I might look.  This feeling was heightened when it was a man.   Osteo is more intrusive than massage. 

I've been massaged by women and once by a man, a foreign man!  In  a foreign country*!  With no shared language!  It was absolutely fine. 

So I was asking you on what experience you're basing that on.  So why would you actively prefer a man over a woman anyway?   



*not Japan though, never Japan. 


And docs are human too.  Most of the time they  just see another oozing pustule or prostate exam but they're as capable of fancying a patient that comes in as someone in a pub.    I used to go to two docs.  One was flirty with me and I thought he was quite cute.  If I needed my bits looked at I went to the horrible one. I wouldn't have wanted to introduce


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## Trufflepig (Apr 20, 2012)

Thanks for your replies folks I just found a video by a teacher of the massage style I was recently studying, beautiful work:-



TP


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## friedaweed (Apr 20, 2012)

God he's virtually porking her by 5:04 




*Legs it


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## Yelkcub (Apr 20, 2012)

Trufflepig said:


> Thanks for your replies folks I just found a video by a teacher of the massage style I was recently studying, beautiful work:-
> 
> TP


 
I can't view the video at this office, but it would be hilarious if this thread was a very well executed wind-up and this clip was pure filth

I suspect not though, so good luck in your work OP


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## rover07 (Apr 20, 2012)

friedaweed said:


> God he's virtually porking her by 5:04
> 
> 
> 
> ...



LOL I bet that's not in the massage manual. He waits til she's half asleep then has a quick dry hump.


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## friedaweed (Apr 20, 2012)

As a trained reflexologist and aromatherapy student I can embrace the seriousness of this thread 
I have a lot of female foot customers but only two of my male mates are comfortable with me doing their feet.  When I do ladies feet its usually their other half's that have an issue with it ime.

Over the years my reflexology has got me in a few scrapes though.

Amongst a few friends the line "It started with the feet" to the tune of 'It started with a kiss' can get a major giggle going. 

Such a tart me


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## ShiftyBagLady (Apr 21, 2012)

"Findhorn Foundation" *snigger* 

In all seriousness, that looks like a good massage. His draping was dreadful though.


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## zenie (Apr 21, 2012)

yeh I prefer male masseuses or therapists, I feel more comfortable with men touching me in those kind of situations 

Where are you based OP? *cricks neck*


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## colacubes (Apr 21, 2012)

zenie said:


> yeh I prefer male masseuses or therapists, I feel more comfortable with men touching me in those kind of situations
> 
> Where are you based OP? *cricks neck*


 
Innit.  I find that male masseurs have a firmer touch


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## spanglechick (Apr 21, 2012)

i also would prefer a male masseur.  I feel insecure about my body more in comparison to other women.


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## Yu_Gi_Oh (Apr 21, 2012)

I don't have any real objections to male masseuses, though last time I had one I was suspicious that he focused too much on the sides of my tits.  It'd be better imo if there was no side boob action.


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## ymu (Apr 21, 2012)

5t3IIa said:


> Are you arguing with me?
> 
> It's prob to do with being comfortable being touched by a male. And if you think thats a bit weird and sexy I'll counter that by saying its pretty fucking odd to think that a male medical practitioner is going to judge ones body any more than a female one, or that's it got anything to do with sex


It's not odd at all. I was sexually assaulted by a doctor under the guide of a routine examination (undid my bra without asking me, felt my tits in a way that was definitely not how you check for lumps, and then told me I needed a smear - at which point I scarpered).

I once asked a female gynaecologist if I should be creeped out by the fact that gynaecology is the most sex-imbalanced specialty in medicine (many more male than female gynaecologists) and she said "Yes and no. The main reason for the imbalance is that the shift patterns are awful for women who want to start a family. But, I have witnessed male colleagues assaulting women under the guise of doing an examination and it definitely attracts some weirdos."

Just because they're supposed to be professionals, doesn't mean they are. If you don't feel comfortable with someone (male or female), you shouldn't feel like you're just being silly. Sometimes, they _are_ creeps.

That's not to say it's often going to be a problem, and gay people can be professional perverts too. But it's perfectly normal to prefer someone of your own sex - in exactly the same way that it is perfectly normal to have single sex communal changing rooms but not unisex ones. Everyone is entitled to request a doctor of their own sex for intimate exams, and also for some security searches.

As nipsla said, there's nothing the OP can or should try to do about people who have a strong preference. There have been plenty of good suggestions about how to reassure those who do not.


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## Trufflepig (Apr 22, 2012)

Thanks for your help folks, its a bloody minefield especially if I get into energetic work. Perry in that vid goes past what I feel comfortable with in massage, and what I would expect my clients to be comfortable with. Fair dues, he has put in the hard yards e.g. many years sitting in zazen, Gestalt process work, besides anatomy, phys, pathology and the rest, full respect to him I say. There is a place for bodywork that is sensual, nurturing, occasionally trans-personal but definitely non-sexual. I'd add that craniosacral work with my lover after 3hrs+ massage has taken me to places shagging only hinted at - Wow! Ethics aside, the idea of copping a feel pales totally in comparison.

Have a lovely evening / morning all

TP


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