# Eurovision 2017



## wtfftw (Jan 27, 2017)

Eurovision: You Decide

BBC2 right now. Just heard the second song.

christ. I mean, anyone we send this year is going to have a very successful time...


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## wtfftw (Jan 27, 2017)

Main event is 13th May in Ukraine.


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## gosub (Jan 27, 2017)

John Shuttleworth ftw


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## Dr. Furface (Jan 27, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> Eurovision: You Decide
> 
> BBC2 right now. Just heard the second song.
> 
> christ. I mean, anyone we send this year is going to have a very successful time...


Exactly - we were already Eurovision pariahs even before Brexit!


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## wtfftw (Jan 27, 2017)

Viewing a few of the songs lyrics through a brexit lense is mildly amusing.


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## ska invita (Jan 27, 2017)

I hope Farage gets in his plane and brings the whole disgusting spectacle down


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## wtfftw (Jan 27, 2017)

<3


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## Nine Bob Note (Jan 27, 2017)

"Danzing!..


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## pogofish (Jan 29, 2017)

ska invita said:


> I hope Farage gets in his plane and brings the whole disgusting spectacle down



Think he might need a bigger plane..!


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## Lord Camomile (Feb 15, 2017)

Eurovision 2017: Organising team quits en masse - BBC News

Uh-oh... 



> The Eurovision Song Contest has hit a major road bump, after 21 top level staff organising the event resigned.
> 
> The Ukrainian Eurovision team say they were stripped of major responsibilities in December, when a new boss was appointed to the organising committee.
> 
> Among the team members who resigned were two executive producers of this year's show.



Translation of the open letter:


> "Hereby we, the Eurovision Song Contest team, for which this competition has not only become a part of our work, but also a part of life, officially announce that we are leaving this project and stop work on the preparation for the competition. It was not only a unique experience and unique knowledge but also a unique human relations, which are no less valuable to us. We are going to allow this competition to take place.
> 
> Starting from June 2016 to the team today, "Eurovision" held a large amount of organizational, legal and informational work to prepare for the "Eurovision" in Ukraine. The professional team of staff NTU and invited experts was to provide high-quality, honest and highly professional "Eurovision-2017".
> 
> ...


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## Nine Bob Note (Feb 15, 2017)

I can only imagine how much batshit press coverage Eurovision is gonna get this time around *groans*


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## tim (Feb 15, 2017)

ska invita said:


> I hope Farage gets in his plane and brings the whole disgusting spectacle down



Ah, Halcyon memories







Anyway, clearly the hand of conductor Putin is behind this latest debacle


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## rubbershoes (Feb 15, 2017)

gosub said:


> John Shuttleworth ftw




Is he doing Pigeons in Flight?


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## Lord Camomile (Mar 23, 2017)

Eurovision 2017: Ukraine bars Russian singer Samoilova from contest - BBC News

Cynic in me suspects Russia knew this would happen. Either way, could be interesting...


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## Lord Camomile (Apr 23, 2017)

I run a 'Secret DJ' thing at work (like Secret Santa but with YouTube music videos) and just typing up the intro for next month's Eurovision-themed edition. Got distracted watching Lordi's winning performance, and it's just such glorious, ever-escalating joy


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## ska invita (Apr 24, 2017)

Im getting in the mood 
2013...the year Eurovision went a bit dubstep 
best costume since Blakes 7


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## rekil (Apr 30, 2017)

ska invita said:


> Im getting in the mood
> 2013...the year Eurovision went a bit dubstep
> best costume since Blakes 7



They were robbed. Massive amount of views on yt before the contest which is a sort of indicator. This year's haul is bad if my assessment of 30 secs of each tune is correct. I like Belgium, but someone pointed out that it's a blatant rip off of something else. Probably too downbeat to win in any case. 



Spoiler: BELGIUM! DOOZ PWAH!


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## Vintage Paw (May 1, 2017)

Apparently Sweden's entry isn't that great this year, and what with Russia not competing it should make things a little less predictable than usual.

I reckon we could scrape the top 10 at a push, and at worst finish in the top half. It's good to have goals


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## rekil (May 5, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> Apparently Sweden's entry isn't that great this year, and what with Russia not competing it should make things a little less predictable than usual.
> 
> I reckon we could scrape the top 10 at a push, and at worst finish in the top half. It's good to have goals


Sweden's sounds like 80's funk soul type sub-Shakatak guff to me. Perhaps someone with a bit of knowledge of this genre could identify whatever it's ripping off more precisely.


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## Lord Camomile (May 5, 2017)

ska invita said:


> Im getting in the mood
> 2013...the year Eurovision went a bit dubstep
> best costume since Blakes 7






copliker said:


> They were robbed.


Damn straight they were.

They're my go-to example for why people should watch the semis. The best stuff rarely gets through these days


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## T & P (May 5, 2017)

If Britain wasn't a popular choice before, I wonder how many point's it'll get post-Brexit


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## 5t3IIa (May 5, 2017)

copliker said:


> Sweden's sounds like 80's funk soul type sub-Shakatak guff to me. Perhaps someone with a bit of knowledge of this genre could identify whatever it's ripping off more precisely.




Woof


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## ska invita (May 5, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Woof



*THIS* is a proper Euro Hearthrob


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## Lord Camomile (May 5, 2017)

2013 was a good year (particularly if you liked faux-dubstep )


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## Lord Camomile (May 5, 2017)

Just thinking about what trends we might see this year, I seriously hope any political stuff is angry and/or entertaining rather than just earnest pish (probably in the form of a ballad).


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## rekil (May 5, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Just thinking about what trends we might see this year, I seriously hope any political stuff is angry and/or entertaining rather than just earnest pish (probably in the form of a ballad).


Romania has yodelling. It's a piss year.




			
				Italy said:
			
		

> Tutti tuttologi col web
> Coca dei popoli
> Oppio dei poveri



That's me told. 

108 million yt views for Private Walker (!)


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Anyone watching the first SF this evening?

No internet at home so if I want to bitch about it online I'll have to stay in the office


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I will be!


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

ska invita said:


> Im getting in the mood
> 2013...the year Eurovision went a bit dubstep
> best costume since Blakes 7






Lord Camomile said:


> 2013 was a good year (particularly if you liked faux-dubstep )


2013 was definitely the best year in recent memory 

I can't wait for this  It's like christmas eve, except we get a second christmas eve on Thursday


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I don't think this would get through.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

I have opened the Doritos.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Did he just say "my endorphins are here"?

Oh, yes, he did.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Fuck, as soon as he started singing my connection started lagging like a bastard  

It had better sort itself out sharpish!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Clearly this guy has a Justin Timberlake CD.

It's not actually that bad


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I like the little bendy knee dance they were doing at the end


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"Celebrate Diversity" is a bit on the nose isn't it? I guess Eurovision isn't really the place for subtlety or nuance...


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

We're all going to notice this, but the hosts for the "Celebrate Diversity" Eurovision are three white men


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

yup


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

But apparently it's the first time in Eurovision history that it has been presented by only men, perhaps they did it to draw attention to how diverse the hosts have been throughout Eurovision history?


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Is it better or worse that none of them are young?

They've got some _what _for us?! Some sammies?


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I fucking love the tame scripted presenter banter, how does each country nail it every year


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

This is a strong opener.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Was that mic-holding bit really necessary?


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Once again, the set is more interesting than the song.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I really love the 80s-tron-flight-simulator background


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> Was that mic-holding bit really necessary?


I feel like we missed something in it being a close up.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

New eurovision drinking game: drink whenever Mel references chicken kievs


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"The UK gave Georgia 12 points last year, interestingly"

I'm going to stop you right there, Mel.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I really like Georgia's entry! Very 90s power ballad.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I had forgotten about Australia.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> I really like Georgia's entry! Very 90s power ballad.


Yeah. for ballads going through that one would be ok.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Standard Euro-ballad.

Had been thinking "where's the fire" - there's the fire.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> I had forgotten about Australia.


I wish Eurovision would. It was a nice gesture as a one-off, now it's making a farce of the bloody contest


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"Don't Come Easy" - fnar, euphemisms, etc.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Standard Euro-ballad.
> 
> Had been thinking "where's the fire" - there's the fire.


Key changes, haze, costume change mid song... it had it all


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Standard Euro-ballad.
> 
> Had been thinking "where's the fire" - there's the fire.


I always have pyrotechnics on my score sheet.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I appreciate just then the fire kicked in when there were lyrics about being burnt. Aside from that. :Yawn:


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

He looks like that Norwegian violinist grew his hair out.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Lost his voice.

Woah, then squeaked!


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

Certainly his singing didn't sound like it came easy


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> I wish Eurovision would. It was a nice gesture as a one-off, now it's making a farce of the bloody contest


Hopefully won't get through. 


Are they whizzing through these or what?


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"Hey, listen to all the different notes I can sort of hit! Up here! Down there! I almost reach all of them!"


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Oh no... no, no no.

I don't mind Australia being in the competition but damn this is not a good song.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> Are they whizzing through these or what?


Good point, no 'postcards'.

edit: pay attention Camomile, here's a fucking postcard.

Twat.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Btw from the horse's mouth...


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Wobbling off key and off stage. Oh dear...


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Hand to the ear - classic "I'm not singing right" gesture.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> Btw from the horse's mouth...
> 
> View attachment 106345


Pfft, I'll go toe to toe with Norton (because it's definitely him operating the Beeb's Twitter account).


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Ok so she _can_ belt out a note and hold it, maybe she just needed to warm up.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Oh my god, people on Twitter are so _wrong_!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

I'm assuming this goes up an octave or two at some point, because right now it sounds too low for her.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

So the secret theme of Eurovision this year seems to be "give songs to people who don't have the range to match"


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

And this Belgian shit is supposed to be one of the favourites?!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Y'know what, I'm kinda vaguely warming to it.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)




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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I saw the video for this on Twitter, it was muted but it looked massively wanky  

I have high hopes...


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

God bless Montenegro. It ain't rapping astronauts, but it'll do.


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

This is the stuff!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Oh, wow, the dancing!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"So, we'll have some dancers to fill out the stage..."
"NO! No dancers! I will dance!"


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

I am the genie of the disco lamp!


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Oh my fucking god this is amazing 

I should point out I am on a lot of tablets and very dopey, today has been feeling like a weird dream. I am having so much trouble processing this man dancing on a giant image of his own face, it's amazing


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

masterchef isn't on tonight.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> Oh my fucking god this is amazing
> 
> I should point out I am on a lot of tablets and very dopey, today has been feeling like a weird dream. I am having so much trouble processing this man dancing on a giant image of his own face, it's amazing


I'm really missing all the booze/weed I usually accompany eurovision with.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

"I represented the UK in 2000 with a song called 'Don't Play That Song Again'... so they didn't."


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Bah, continuing the trend of recent years, most of these are "yeah, competent, nothing special".

It's not bad, it's not great, it's just... a song.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

If nothing else, Azerbaijan is a nice word to say.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Promising...

Woah! Horse man on a ladder! Bar. Raised.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Ok Azerbaijan are bringing it back to proper Eurovision


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

And he's doing NOTHING! Brilliant!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Heh, you can see where it's been rubbed off from rehearsal


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Aw, horse man took his head off. Unnecessary


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## rekil (May 9, 2017)

Stfu. A Belgian Adele is exactly what's required in these trying times.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

copliker said:


> Stfu. A Belgian Adele is exactly what's required in these trying times.


I think that's very harsh on Adele...


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Oooh she drew on them with chalk, love it 

Have _my_ skeletons.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"It's what I'd call an eccentric performance"

On Eurovision that's quite a claim...


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Oh Portugal.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

I like it just for being different.

Subtitles on the iPlayer are no fucking help though


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

Always better when you can't understand a word of it. Nice tune


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

yeah my subs gave up. I like it though. About time Portugal got to the final tbh.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Sort of Randy Newman-esque.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I wasn't sure when the music started - too many this year already have sounded like they wouldn't be out of place in a disney film - but I really liked it


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Aaaaaaaand *mute*.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

wet men splashing around.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Greece: all the platitudes and clichés


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Ok, the beat's diverting, but it's one of those ones I can feel myself forgetting while listening to it.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> wet men splashing around.


It's not Eurovision without some kind of needless, kind of awkward, over the top backing dancers.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"He was a conductor, she was a violinist, can I make it any more obvious?"


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Flashlight? Now I'm just annoyed it's not pitch perfect.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> "He was a conductor, she was a violinist, can I make it any more obvious?"


avril?


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"Like a bullet from a smoking gun, they try to tell us we don't belong"

Y'what?


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> avril?


CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I need to know what bra she is wearing, those boobs look like they are defying the laws of physics.


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

Wish she'd sung in her own language too - wouldn't have helped much though


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Well, at least she can sing the song she's been given. That's rather a novelty so far this evening.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Oh my god how hard is it to choose a fucking song within the register your singer can reach?!


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> I need to know what bra she is wearing, those boobs look like they are defying the laws of physics.


I would guess at inbuilt to the dress squashedness.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> Oh my god how hard is it to choose a fucking song within the register your singer can reach?!


I thought she actually had that covered?


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Well, at least she can sing the song she's been given. That's rather a novelty so far this evening.


I didn't think she was managing the low notes very well at first. There's a pattern of singing-too-low-for-a-while-then-belting-it-out tonight


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## Indeliblelink (May 9, 2017)

oh yes, like this. You can't beat a bit of epic sax guy


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Yay, silly single-leg dancing and strange costumes


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I appreciate that the violinist's hair keeps vanishing on the light background.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

He's basically set dressing...


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

This can go through.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Yeah mid-song costume change! 

I need to update my scorecard for the finals


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

I care not for the sax guy at all, but the song is a step up from a lot of other stuff this evening.

Microphones in the bouquets! Can't decide if that's brilliant or thematically questionable.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"Argh! Don't drop the mic...! Oh, it was just the bouquets."


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

Super tats and tits combo


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Ok, this woman is _really _proud of her breasts.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

If you're a judge on your country's version of The Voice and you get knocked out in the semi final of Eurovision, how much respect are you really going to be able to command in your judging role after that?


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I honestly don't know what I think of this one. Part of me like it. Part of me thinks I need a paper cut for that. etc.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

This may go somewhere, but so many of these have started sooooo boring.

It's like they just put anything together to get to the chorus, and that's where they put the effort in.

*heckle from the crowd* "welcome to pop music, Camomile!"


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## 1927 (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Ok, this woman is _really _proud of her breasts.


If I had breasts like that I'd be proud of em too!


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Shoulder pads on top of a cape, white platform shoes, lasers, it's all very 80s


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## AverageJoe (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Ok, this woman is _really _proud of her breasts.


 
As she should be. A beautiful looking lady


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

toilet break!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

1927 said:


> If I had breasts like that I'd be proud of em too!





AverageJoe said:


> As she should be. A beautiful looking lady


I knew I shouldn't have said anything...


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## AverageJoe (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> I knew I shouldn't have said anything...



Actual Lol


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

To be fair to Eurovision hosts, they're trying to appeal to an entire continent (plus Austrailia  ) - that's going to have to be some broad humour.

Unless you're Sweden and you have... oh bugger, that woman who is really funny but I never remember the name of.

edIt: Petra Mede


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

FUCK OFF WITH THE FUCKING "EUROVIZJ" SHIT


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Again, so low?!


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

was it loreen or lena who had bare feet?

maybe someone else entirely.


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## 1927 (May 9, 2017)

They made the roast turkey joke!!!


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

I mean, it's an ok song, there were a few off-key moments though. Claws back some points for the bronze jumpsuit.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> was it loreen or lena who had bare feet?
> 
> maybe someone else entirely.


Loreen



Now that was a fucking tune.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Wait, Gravity? Again? That's already been a Eurovision song!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Ok, and the purpose of the line was...


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Loreen
> 
> 
> 
> Now that was a fucking tune.





It's on regular rotation round here.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Am I missing something with this line? Oh, they're pretending the might fall off it.

And then they walk off it


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

All this lying on the floor must really impress the live audience.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

From his delivery and the terrible dancing I could easily believe they are battling against extra-strong gravity on that stage at the moment.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Last three songs, already. Really little to say "hey guys, you've got to check this one out" about.

Oh, that's Armenia's flag! Didn't recognise it earlier.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Oh just shut up.


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

Catchy number this innit


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

So this'll probably do well. The ones I mute usually do.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

"Hey, do you think we should maybe alter the song so the verses are sung one octave higher?"
"That's way too much work!"
"Maybe we should find a singer who find it easier to hit lower notes then...?"
"Pffft, it'll be fine"

- most national Eurovision committees earlier this year


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I'm feeling revulsion now. Anyone else?


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

On my way, never coming back.

Let's hope not.


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Exuding a lot of misplaced confidence, this one


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> "Hey, do you think we should maybe alter the song so the verses are sung one octave higher?"
> "That's way too much work!"
> "Maybe we should find a singer who find it easier to hit lower notes then...?"
> "Pffft, it'll be fine"
> ...


It is bizarre.

Clearly they want people who can belt out the big notes, but either a) find someone who can hit the other ones too or b) change the fucking melody.

It's really, really bizarre.

(For the record, I could totes hit all the notes, obvs  )


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

"Before the break of dawn I will be gone"

You said it mate


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

omg


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Ha! When in doubt, just repeatedly bellow out "YEAH!"  

Oh wow, that was a gratuitous key change even for Eurovision! Just *clunk* *gear change* aaaaand go again.

Oh, he also can't hit the falsetto. Good, good.


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

The song better live up to the presentation.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

That key change was like when you change gears driving up a particularly difficult hill.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> The song better live up to the presentation.


You're a little ahead of me, so most of your posts are "what does that mea... oh, right!"


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## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

The costumes, the set, the hair - it's Eurovision!


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"We went to Camden and it was really inspirational"


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> "We went to Camden and it was really inspirational"


I was just thinking it reminded me of walking round Cyberdog in stables market


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## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> "We went to Camden and it was really inspirational"


Proper LOL.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> The costumes, the set, the hair - it's Eurovision!


Aye, but the actual song is not as fun or intense as it thinks it is.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> I was just thinking it reminded me of walking round Cyberdog in stables market


Fookin' _exactly_.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Ugh, in an evening of not much this is at least vaguely engaging. It'll probably go through, but by Christ I'm hoping for a better set of tunes on Thursday.

I feel like we got screwed with the selection we could vote on in other years too. Not content with fucking us over in the final, they don't let us vote for any of the good ones in the SFs either


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Fun quiz: can you remember any of the entries without this recap.

I can't remember them during the recap*.





*and I'm hoping you can't remember I cracked essentially the same gag earlier this evening.


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## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Ok, they get points for gleefully flipping Europe the V


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## red rose (May 9, 2017)

"Calls to this number are barred from your phone, I'm sorry. Good bye"

WHAT?!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> "Calls to this number are barred from your phone, I'm sorry. Good bye"
> 
> WHAT?!


Keith Chegwin did tell you to stop calling him, to be fair.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Nope, don't remember this one at all.


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Ok I limped my way downstairs to the landline and voted for Montenegro, Moldova and Portugal.

It was painful and awkward, much swearing was involved and I managed to give myself the hiccups because I subconsciously hold my breath when using my right leg due to the pain.  They had better fucking appreciate it.


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 9, 2017)

Are they meant to be dancing Princess Leias?


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Indeliblelink said:


> Are they meant to be dancing Princess Leias?


That was about all I liked about this song last year


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Can we just let the Scandinavians share hosting duties amongst themselves? They're clearly the best at Eurovision.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Go on, vote Australia out at the SF stage!


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Go on, vote Australia out at the SF stage!


They do need to learn what Eurovision is really like. They're not just guests anymore, they're regular competitors.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> They do need to learn what Eurovision is really like. They're not just guests anymore, they're regular competitors.


No they're not, they're fucking interlopers!


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

"To be continued" on the weird filler bit between voting and results - I'm hooked


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

That was better than most entries this year.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

red rose said:


> Ok I limped my way downstairs to the landline and voted for Montenegro, Moldova and Portugal.


No wasted votes there!


----------



## 1927 (May 9, 2017)

I hadn't heard the UK song before, what does it remind me of?


----------



## rekil (May 9, 2017)

The Portugal one is the sort of thing the public doesn't like as much as judges. I've been catastrophically bad at this for the last 5 or 6 years but Armenia looks good value.


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Why is a eurovision entry citing a bibliography for his song


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Yay Jon Ola Sand


----------



## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

they look bored.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

This poor guy. Never wants to be there.


----------



## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

I'm not going to spoiler. Now I know I'm ahead.


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

If Montenegro don't go through I'm gonna be flipping tables.

Admittedly I only have a little in-bed foldy laptop table, but still.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

copliker said:


> The Portugal one is the sort of thing the public doesn't like as much as judges. I've been catastrophically bad at this for the last 5 or 6 years but Armenia looks good value.


You're getting better


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> This poor guy. Never wants to be there.


But so adorably awkward


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

Fuck off Aussie


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> Fuck off Aussie


I'm so far behind


----------



## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

...


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'm so far behind


I keep refreshing between songs etc but iPlayer is just behind satelite anyway


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

No Montenegro


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Fix! Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiix!


----------



## red rose (May 9, 2017)

Motherfucker 

Poor Montenegro fucked over again.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 9, 2017)

"You have chosen tonight's 10 best songs"

Have you fuck! Europe, you're bollocks, I'm glad we're leaving you


----------



## wtfftw (May 9, 2017)

Right then. More dross to go through on thursday.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 9, 2017)

A few Justin Timberlakes, a couple of Adeles, a triple marriage funk group from Moldova, wonderful power Ballard echoing back from 80's Czech republic, fuck off Robbie Williams from Slovenia, cyber dog, Lovers from Latvia, shame Belgium lacked personality, Armenia has a good chance, same as the gay icon from outer space. My fav is  the pierrot clown-esque cabaret guy from Portugal


----------



## SovietArmy (May 9, 2017)

Oh dear some songs are not that good I did like Portugal and Finland shame Finland did not qualified.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 9, 2017)

What was all the bridal wear and suited men about... So many of them had this going on?

Also glad the red woman from GoT didn't make it through. Poland has a great voice but hopefully they order in more bandages  for her to wear for the final.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 9, 2017)

Pretty sure young Skippy from Oz got the teeny bopper vote. He has a decent voice but was all gangly, as many 17 year olds are.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 9, 2017)

Very pleased Portugal got through. What a fantastic song. I would like to purchase one of your finest Portugals to sit in the corner of my room and provide mood music for all occasions, please.

Sad about Montenegro and Iceland. Saturday isn't shaping up to be all that exciting. 

Thursday brings new songs, but for the moment I'll be putting all my enthusiasm behind our song and Portugal.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 9, 2017)

His sister wrote that song, it's great, plus he sings in Portuguese which is a massive plus. It annoys me that so many sing in English tbh. Not sure it's strong enough to win Eurovision but it is great.

Saw clips of Italy's and Spain's entries... Surfer cod reggae from Spain and some strange gorilla representation of the evolutionary chain from Italy.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 9, 2017)

Portugal's song reminds me a teeny tiny bit of everything I loved about Sebastien Tellier's entry for France in 2008 (a vintage year). I went on a MASSIVE Tellier binge after that


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 9, 2017)




----------



## Vintage Paw (May 9, 2017)

Why can't I like my own posts, ffs?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 9, 2017)

Vintage Paw said:


> Why can't I like my own posts, ffs?


Have one on me


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2017)

Agree with Copliker, on the whole a really weak year so far, lots of show tunes influence going on and even the dance numbers  are half hearted. Crap time for pop in general i guess, so shouldnt be surprised. Space ponytail guy was keeping the faith though - sad to see him get knocked out. This is why you need to watch the semis!
Also Robbie WIlliams rip-off Omar Naber hexed himself with "On My Way" - On my way, I’m never coming back/ And I’ll pray I’m never gonna crack <<<destined to get knocked out.

My top 3 of last night though
Portugal - nice to see Portugese drug legalisation laws having a positive effect on eurovision
Belgium - catchy tune, but not very eurovish
Moldova - Had a donk on it and the cheery sax player made it. Running man too
None of those can win though surely?

BTW the chorus to Moldovas tune - I had to look it up - goes

Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
I’m not that unfounded boy
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
All it keeps going round and round

Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
If you knew me you’d be surprised
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
She’ll be back home till sunrise

so now we know 
SunStroke Project – Hey Mamma lyrics


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 10, 2017)

I'm still sore about Montenegro


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2017)

1927 said:


> I hadn't heard the UK song before, what does it remind me of?


track seven in Generic Musical?


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2017)

Polish tune didn't really deserve to go through... Since  you can't vote for your own countries song, those with a big migrant population get a big advantage as Poles abroad _can_ vote....i seem to remember thinking this last year too.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> I'm still sore about Montenegro


it is sad, but on the plus side a lucrative career playing the gay clubs of Europe awaits him...he'll be fine


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 10, 2017)

Italy are hot faves to win with the bookies at little better than evens, with Portugal second at about 3/1 - with the rest way behind. The semi on Thursday looks like it should be a bit better than last night overall, but without anything outstanding, either in a good or so-shit-it's-ace way. It's hard to tell from the videos though - they're often quite different from how they come across on stage.


----------



## ska invita (May 10, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> Italy are hot faves to win with the bookies at little better than evens, with Portugal second at about 3/1 -


wow...its really a shit year!
Italy lol 
Portugal fair enough


----------



## rekil (May 10, 2017)

ska invita said:


> wow...its really a shit year!
> Italy lol
> Portugal fair enough


Italy's is a decent tune _and_ it's got cultural appropriation twitter outrage potential. Something for everyone.


Lord Camomile said:


> Go on, vote Australia out at the SF stage!


The Danish one is Australian as well, so vote them out twice.


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 10, 2017)

ska invita said:


> Polish tune didn't really deserve to go through... Since  you can't vote for your own countries song, those with a big migrant population get a big advantage as Poles abroad _can_ vote....i seem to remember thinking this last year too.



She's a Big Deal apparently and well known, so it's going to be high scoring in the final.


----------



## hash tag (May 11, 2017)

bearing in mind how political in can get, I am sure it will be null points for Britain "no one likes us".


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 11, 2017)

If you're not following Kit Lovelace Kit Lovelace (@kitlovelace) on Twitter on twitter you'll be missing out on some top Eurovision commentary.

For a while now he's been crunching the data to get to the bottom of what technically makes for a Eurovision winner. He'll be tweeting during tonight's semi-final if you want a taster.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Could be good...


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I'm not sure I can watch the program, post on here AND follow on twitter tbh. I try and catch a few of the sassy Eurovision UK tweets but I usually confuse myself


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


> I'm not sure I can watch the program, post on here AND follow on twitter tbh. I try and catch a few of the sassy Eurovision UK tweets but I usually confuse myself


Yeah, I generally give up on Twitter, but sometimes check on it during the talking bits.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Look at those ridiculous suits


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Yeah, I generally give up on Twitter, but sometimes check on it during the talking bits.


I admire the ambition, if nothing else.

In other news:


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Good lord I love the awkward talking from the hosts, it's always so cheesy


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> I admire the ambition, if nothing else.
> 
> In other news:



I'd love to get a look at that man's spreadsheets


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

As the son of an accordion player, I can tell you this is bullshit.

Though to be honest I don't think you need an intimate knowledge of accordions to know that he's not playing it.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

My boyfriend was sat next to me watching The Walking Dead with headphones on, he has gone into the other room


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

This isn't bad, basically because it's cashing in on the success of previous winning songs


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


> My boyfriend was sat next to me watching The Walking Dead with headphones on, he has gone into the other room


He wants to avoid spoilers, right?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


> My boyfriend was sat next to me watching The Walking Dead with headphones on, he has gone into the other room


My dog just left me too


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Interesting rhythm section to get us started 

What is with all the wedding hear though 

Platform shoes also seem to be making a comeback.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Isn't this Baby You're A Firework with new lyrics?


----------



## wtfftw (May 11, 2017)

Omg the sound is going to drive me nuts.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Needlessly shirtless over-enthusiastic dancer, check that off on your bingo card


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Where the hell'd old sparky come from?! 

I swear, you look away for a second suddenly there's a man jumping around in his pyjamas


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


> Needlessly shirtless over-enthusiastic dancer, check that off on your bingo card


Correction - 'dancer'


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

I like this one. 

It's got no chance obvs.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


> Isn't this Baby You're A Firework with new lyrics?


Scott Mills is reading urban! 

Shut up, Scott.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Scott Mills is reading urban!
> 
> Shut up, Scott.


Using your powers for good


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Austria's entry is a little too saccharine for me


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

This has a bit of an early-00s sound to it. Probably because it sounds like "Put Your Records On".


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

I wish someone would push him, just to test it out


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

Schwing, what a fox!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Woman discovers she's pregnant: "I will dance alone".

Dark.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

FYR Macedonia has a pretty good song.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I'm tempted to live tweet cartoons/drawings based on ridiculous Eurovision lyrics during the final...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


> I'm tempted to live tweet cartoons/drawings based on ridiculous Eurovision lyrics during the final...


Dooooooo it.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Holding the end note of "breathlessly".

#Eurovisirony.


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 11, 2017)

This might be the worse song I've ever heard.
I hope it wins.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

FFS!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Indeliblelink said:


> This might be the worse song I've ever heard.


Pfft. This is nothing!

I don't think it's too bad, to be honest. More pop yodeling, I say.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Party canons!

Alright, these guys can go through 

Ooh, but he should stick to rapping and not sing


----------



## Dillinger4 (May 11, 2017)

Yodellayewhoooo


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I fucking loved that


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

That is a spectacularly dumb band name origin story


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Great outfits, meh song tbh


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

W


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Not as strong as recent efforts from the Netherlands. Well executed enough, just not quite hitting it for me.

Could do well though.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Aaaaaaaaaand time to do some printing.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Christ on a bike they've brought back this stupid detective bullshit.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

This one will blow your mind!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Ok, this is interesting.

Not quite sure how much that thing he's bashing is doing though.

Wait, it kicks in once he stops hitting it?! Is it on a satellite delay or something


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

See, you're all lost for words aren't ya!


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I really like this, there's rapping, a dancing violinist, an actual storyline to the dancing by the looks of it...


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

I don't know what this is about but crikey if the singer and dancer aren't anguishing their faces off!


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

It kind of sounds like it's in the wrong key. Not that she is out of tune, but the whole song sounds like it's just flat or something.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Powerful enough, but didn't make a great impact.

It's all just "yeah, ok, alright".

*sigh*


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Is he singing in a 'generic European accent'  

Damn, I do love a bit of hot air balloon action.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Like fuck is he 21. Has anyone checked his ID?


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Ireland is going to give Australia a run for their money on the teeny bopper vote-share.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Woah, they are way too into this.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

It's rather Butlins...


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Ok I really like San Marino's entry, it's cheesy and fun and the dancing is silly.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> It's rather Butlins...


YES! That's it!


----------



## Dillinger4 (May 11, 2017)

That really was the spirit of the night


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

"What we lack in identity we will make up for in enthusiasm"


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I swear that was their third key-change.


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

so bad its shit


----------



## Dillinger4 (May 11, 2017)

Hahaha YES croatia


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Leather tuxedo.

Alright.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

Eurovision at its finest!


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

this is getting grim
maybe Farage was right?


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

What the _actual_ fuck 

Eurovision still surprising me after all these years


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Well, this is enjoyably batshit 

Who thought Gollum would inspire a Eurovision song.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I'm dying, I can't breathe


----------



## rekil (May 11, 2017)

San Marino writer is 71. Let this legend win ffs.

Ralph Siegel - Wikipedia

35 years of hurt.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

There is a good chance I burst a blood vessel in my face laughing at Croatia's entry. I want that to win.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

Norway. Tune!


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Daft Mumford and Punk


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

I put my girls in a coffin?


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 11, 2017)

Shobaleader One rip off


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Everyone on here and Twitter seems to be ahead of me


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I liked the cool masks and drums, but the song was pants.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

Indeliblelink said:


> Shobaleader One rip off


Pity they could only afford the one mask


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 11, 2017)

just got 20/1 for UK to finish last.i hve no idea what our track is like, bu you have to risk a cheeky couple of quid on that


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Checkov's staircase.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I was kind of hoping she would fuck up the staircase to liven the performance up a bit


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

not-bono-ever said:


> just got 20/1 for UK to finish last.i hve no idea what our track is like, bu you have to risk a cheeky couple of quid on that


Smart investment


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Lord Camomile said:


> Checkov's staircase.


Called it.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

You can thank 'em in as many languages as you want but I don't think it's going to help.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Strong start!


----------



## Dillinger4 (May 11, 2017)

12 points belorussia


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

If I could vote in this semi final this might have gotten one of my votes.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Ooh, they're a little off though


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

belarus contenders I reckon


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

His hair is like the negative of Trump.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Emo Ferris Bueller can sing.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

Top 5 on Saturday


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 11, 2017)

Can see this one doing well.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Indeliblelink said:


> Can see this one doing well.


Ah bollocks, yeah...


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

pretty good Bulgaria imo


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Inspired by Bill Gates and Jesus...


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I really like the funky beat, odd singing style though...


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)




----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)




----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Do we think Estonia can't afford to host the contest next year...?


----------



## ska invita (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


>


looks like REM in their heyday


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Ugh, singing that close is never comfortable.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Winking. At. The. Camera.


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

The set designers are really lucky so many people wanted to use the exact same pyro set up in their routines.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I don't like it when his voice wanders on the last syllable of the verse but he's gone from seeming cocky to seeming like he's just really excited to be there so I wouldn't mind so much if this goes through.


----------



## Dillinger4 (May 11, 2017)

Yodelleyewho and croatia get my vote tonight


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

Bummed we can't vote for Croatia


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I am using this time to sort out my Eurovision scorecard for the final. I've got friends coming over so it's got to be great this year.


----------



## Dillinger4 (May 11, 2017)

And belorussia


----------



## Lord Camomile (May 11, 2017)

Hey, guys, it's still on.

No, me neither...


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Ukraine's entry started well but the singing isn't my favourite.

Points for the giant Crystal Maze style head on stage though...


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

Yes Croatia!


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Bugger I'm lagged again.


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

Yay Romania


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 11, 2017)

aw, no Ireland in the final


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

How the fuck did nothing songs like Denmark and Netherlands make it and San Marino didn't?!


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 11, 2017)

red rose said:


> How the fuck did nothing songs like Denmark and Netherlands make it and San Marino didn't?!


Macedonia too


----------



## red rose (May 11, 2017)

I want more transparent voting in future years. Not during but after the votes have finished I want to be able to see online how many votes each act received and how much the judge votes skew that.


----------



## rekil (May 11, 2017)

Eurovision in Lukashenko's Belarus would be all kinds of problematic.


----------



## wtfftw (May 11, 2017)

Croatia


----------



## Vintage Paw (May 12, 2017)

Saturday shaping up to be decent after tonight. I was sad the Big Bird woman in her yellow dress didn't get through, and Lithuania's funky Bjork. Croatia is magnificent. Bulgaria was good. Thursday got the glut of good tunes, it seems.

I gave up trying to follow this thread years ago - I stick to twitter when it's on now. I always pop back in for the debrief, though


----------



## red rose (May 12, 2017)

If anyone would like to use it, here is the scorecard I've made.


----------



## bimble (May 12, 2017)

WTF.


----------



## SovietArmy (May 12, 2017)

ah no Estonia I did liked song.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 12, 2017)

Is this on on Saturday?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Is this on on Saturday?


Sure is!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 12, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> Sure is!


Yessss! I need to start working on my partner then! He's already indicated that he is a refuser


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 12, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Yessss! I need to start working on my partner then! He's already indicated that he is a refuser


I have the same thing with mine. She usually takes herself off to see a film or something, and leaves me to it. It's great!


----------



## ska invita (May 12, 2017)

bimble said:


> WTF.




what a depressing poll


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 12, 2017)

Told yers. Sunday's printed toilet paper is gonna be full of this shit. Lets seem em want to leave UEFA too. Go on, Scum, let's hear it.


----------



## The39thStep (May 12, 2017)

ska invita said:


> what a depressing poll


Tbh I wouldn't be arsed if the UK wasn't in it or indeed if it didn't exist. The voting is questionable, Australia's in it and it's never been the same since Katy Boyle left .


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 12, 2017)

ska invita said:


> what a depressing poll



Eh? Don't sweat that stupidity! 

We can move at any time. Even if we stay in the UK we will find a way to enjoy Eurovision. It will be from behind a VPN, it will be dangerous, enormous risk involved, gunmen at the door at any time  it will be full on cheesy, full of terrible lyrics, dancing and personalities, over the top and excruciating...but it will be worth it nonetheless. Nothing will actually change. 

/raises European flag

/salutes

/wistful look off into the distance


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Half an hour flicking through YT and the bets are now made. £10 e/w on Bulgarian chap. £10 on both Denmark and Croatia in top thirteen.

Bye bye Grand National winnings   Now I have an hour to make pizza, buy beer and shave for work tmoz...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

whoop whoop whoop


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)




----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Hello Kiev!!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

wtfftw said:


>


How are you? Resting a plate of nibbles on your bump?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

I couldn't get odds on Verka making an appearance. Interval, surely?


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> How are you? Resting a plate of nibbles on your bump?


So weird being sober. 
I've just scarfed a scotch egg, am quite stocked round here. Resting this on bump and cushion. 

I have red rose 's scoresheet to hand.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

I haven't watched anything before this, no semis, no nothing apart from reading popbitch  Apparently Lucie's bpm is correct, statistically


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

The good-looking one has a cool tie on


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Omg, quimcunx  I miss you so so much :'(


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Alex is a bit Max Headroom!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Those arms are fucking hairy


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

Tuning is unimportant


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

I like the mesh shirt but otherwise...meh


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Israel is on loads of beak, blates.


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

Strong. Strong.


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

...and/or garys


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

I've seen those backing costumes somewhere before...


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

Oh. It's Israel. I was having tuning in trouble.


----------



## xsunnysuex (May 13, 2017)

First song is rough as fuck...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Bit dull really. Next.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Well Israel's entry was shit...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oh my gosh, Graham is on good form


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

No Said Fred from Israel...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Sub-Bond boring nonsense.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Oh my gosh, Graham is on good form


Fiddling with her


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Mmmm a bit sub James Bond theme from Poland


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Poland still has a great voice but they didn't find any more bandages to wrap her in.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

She look slike she's dishing out handjobs


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

God knows what drugs Poland are on.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Mmmm a bit sub James Bond theme from Poland


Good call.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

FREEDOM!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> She look slike she's dishing out handjobs


Those uncertain notes are coming from deep within.


----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

Poland's song is pretty dire


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Mophead and her from drama school.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Oh, for folk's sake


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

my mate basically shouted at the tv all through this one the other night.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Oooh I like this thing from Belarus already


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)




----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Major props malfunction...


----------



## ska invita (May 13, 2017)

Graham Norton enjoying the Belarus entry:


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Also, what happened to the BBC "press the red button for lyrics" thing?  They did it up until 2 years ago, then stopped - and I'm not happy about it.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

"Alexander Lukashenko mighty mighty leader
His moustache so virile
His grey suits set trends
Belorusian democracy best democracy"


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Epona said:


> Oooh I like this thing from Belarus already



Belarus hippies getting jiggy with it...on a hovercraft? 

I like it though...it is suitably upbeat, cheesy and European.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Snogging!!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Oh it's Ed Sheeran


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Austrian ed sheeran.

Fuck off.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oh no Austrian Sheeran :yawn:


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Oh no, hold on


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

errrrrrrrrrrr...They sexed it up. WHY?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

My notes on Austria from earlier (when deciding on whom to bet):

"Moon. Dull. Embarrassingly 'cool.'"


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Austrian ed sheeran.

Worse than Hitler.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Did he just not say arse? Hey yow my arse.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Flash Gordon trainers to show he is a really good runner?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

H&M contract winner


----------



## Cheesypoof (May 13, 2017)

When you have nothing else to do, watch Eurovision - me - at home watchin it with my Dad. He entered the heats for Ireland back in 1970 and came second to Dana - she later went on to win the Eurovision 

so far I'm liking Belarus's choon.


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

I want the mirrorball moon tho.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Armenia: "Mysterious. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! In English."


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

"Real build of a song" = euphemism for 'lots of key changes'?


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

How many rings!?!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Looks like Jodie Marsh, sounds like Pink.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Cheesypoof said:


> When you have nothing else to do, watch Eurovision - me - at home watchin it with my Dad. He entered the heats for Ireland back in 1970 and came second to Dana - she later went on to win the Eurovision
> 
> so far I'm liking Belarus's choon.


We're honoured to be sharing our experience with such Eurovision royalty!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Wearing chainmail. Red wedding moment iminent


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oh, I don't hate it


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Hand dancing ftw


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

I approve of her rings.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

This one is rubbish!


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)




----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Oh, I don't hate it


Oh. That was it. Nevermind.


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

I liked the end


----------



## passenger (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Belarus hippies getting jiggy with it...on a hovercraft?
> 
> I like it though...it is suitably upbeat, cheesy and European.


I just put .30 p on @ 200-1


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

This is a good pop song, complete with bungra mix...Not sure why they are vogueing though


----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

this is not right. I watching this without alcohol


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Wilson Philips, Brudesmaids era. Come on where are the dancing pirates and dubstep barefoot ladies in chiffon sheets


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

How did I end up here?


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Lyrics on the screen is well on trend for current music videos.


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Spangly


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

How come the one with the best legs gets to wear the trousers?


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

I dont watch eurovision.  Armenia were good though.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

This is dreadful, and not in a good, entertaining way


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

No...sorry Netherlands but...no!


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

The Dutch Nolan sisters glittering up the place.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

blairsh said:


> How did I end up here?


You were here last time too, don't lie.


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

KEY CHANGE


----------



## cyril_smear (May 13, 2017)

Did we lose yet?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

That guy is now like the fifth most famous Austrian person


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> You were here last time too, don't lie.


Oh, I just looked on last two years threads and not lies. Please accept my apology


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Mation said:


> KEY CHANGE


Statistically has no chance. Musically too.


----------



## Cheesypoof (May 13, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> We're honoured to be sharing our experience with such Eurovision royalty!



Aww, thank you!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Mation said:


> KEY CHANGE


YOU WILL FIND YOUR WAY IF YOU HOOOOOLD IN FOR INE MORE DAY


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

This is one of my favs. Can't beat a bit of epic sax guy.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Is that a syrup on lead guy?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Channelling Fucks Biz


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Nice comb-over


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

should learn this dance.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Oh well this is fun, any bets on how many minutes in the violinist plays a pretend note?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

I like the slapping foot dance!


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Oh, I just looked on last two years threads and not lies. Please accept my apology


No.


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Moldova - wtf?


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> Statistically has no chance. Musically too.


Statistically?


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

This man can't sing.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

blairsh said:


> No.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Ah yes...the Blues Brothers do 90's dance music.  With restless legs...then running man.


----------



## ska invita (May 13, 2017)

my fav this one
put a folky donk on it

Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
I am not that unfounded boy
Mamma, mamma don’t be so down
All it keeps going round and round
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
If you knew me, you’d be surprised
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
She’ll be back home till sunrise


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I actually had them marked as one of the most interesting looking acts - that was tedious though


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

I scored that rather highly.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Mation said:


> Statistically?


UK: Lucie Jones This says 'fairly ok chance'!


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

@5tella I went to a Eurovision party several years ago and won the sweepstake on loads of GB


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

They really liked Gangnam Style


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Mation said:


> Statistically?


Yep apparently songs with key changes don't win!


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

So did I, tbf


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Loomollom moooar moloololllo


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> Yep apparently songs with key changes don't win!


Oh! Madness!!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Where is my fucking lyrics translation on the red button when I fucking need it BBC? Eh? Eh?


----------



## Cheesypoof (May 13, 2017)

i'm still waiting for that classic Mariah Carey style belter....we all know it when we hear it, lol


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Oh, got bars?


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Hungarian Aladin with a magic milk churn? 

I like the song. Traditional and rap fusion.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Does stuff with national costume and obscure 'we invented the mollollophone actually' ever win?


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I am hard of hearing, and always have subtitles on, it's not helping though - I don't know what "Jaloma Lomma lomalon" means


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Desperado Antonio banderas called, he wants his jacket back.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Ffs many more acts are gonna use the vertical flames prop


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Still, he's got his wrestling to fall back on...


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Epona said:


> I am hard of hearing,


Definitely an advantage tonight!


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Omg is this geezer taking the piss or what?


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Different coloured jumpers!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Did anyone else think that Norton said "Italy's leading Pornographer" instead of "Italy's leading Choreographer" then???


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

See this one leg lift dance is not impressing me like the last one.


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

No


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Remember when Benetton was huge?


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

I also resent that my eurovision rules require me to give them points for the gorilla.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oh, yes he is taking the piss


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Too many ideas clashing on stage at the moment...


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

What was he on about, Italy's number isn't catchy at all!!


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

The gorilla


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Why is there a guy in a bad gorilla suit on stage?  I can't help feeling that I missed something along the way...


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Gorillaz it ain't


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Italy =


which is no bad thing!


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

No chance.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Catchy tune though...I won't remember a word though other than 'singing in the rain'...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Now I think the Danish entry's odds were way out of line. Very swedish I thought.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Those sneaky aussies


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Italy clearly interpreted this years theme of Diversity more than others.

Denmark, no Oz, no Denmark...


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Epona said:


> Why is there a guy in a bad gorilla suit on stage?  I can't help feeling that I missed something along the way...


Did the horse dancing on a step-ladder get through?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oh. I don't like singing like this. I mean, I have ZERO CLUE but it's all high-in-the-throatish for the loud bits. Just sounds wrong and a bit painful.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Wind machine cranked up to 10...


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Fantastic! (£1 ew at 80/1 come on baby!)


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

BIG ballard!

Quite a few of them though so...no idea.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Well that was dull. Sorry Denmark


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> Fantastic! (£1 ew at 80/1 come on baby!)



I've got 5/1 on this finishing in the top THIRTEEN


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Portugal guy is what I looked like when I turned up for a job interview in the 90s.

Do like this one though.


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Come on Portugal.


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Epona said:


> Did anyone else think that Norton said "Italy's leading Pornographer" instead of "Italy's leading Choreographer" then???



yes.  It was one oif those "he dint really say that tjhings.  bugger. piised.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oh shit, I like this


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Salvador should have been in Amelie 2 On Acid...love the song...so honest and simple.

He won't win though will he?.

Goosebumps  

Portuguese is a beautiful language.


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Portugals got no fucking chance


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I no longer understand this world


----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

slinky hand gestures


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

It's different


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Salvador should have been in Amelie...love the song...so honest and simple.
> 
> He won't win though.



I think he can win, didn't Norton say he's now the bookies favourite?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

I mean, it's been done but not in this context


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Hungarian Aladin with a magic milk churn?
> 
> I like the song. Traditional and rap fusion.


Best so far for me. [emoji16]


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Dreary old rubbish.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Europe swoons


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

These hosts


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Top banter


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> These hosts


Impossible job to follow last year.


----------



## xsunnysuex (May 13, 2017)

Love the Portuguese entry.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Indeliblelink said:


> I think he can win, didn't Norton say he's now the bookies favourite?


I would love that


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I love her


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Thought she was sitting on the washing machine for a minute there


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Wtf is going on


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

But why is someone wearing a horse head costume?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Horseshit


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

That looks rather dangerous. Horse & Safety, Azerbaijan!


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Can someone explain the horseman on the ladder please?

Besides that, this is a strong entry...They have character and synths!


----------



## blairsh (May 13, 2017)

Did she say "surrounded by your jeans"?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

I think she's angry no one offered to take her coat


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Can someone ecplain the man on the ladder please?


 because Eurovision.


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Blackboard and horse can't save this.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

2011 called +994 and wants its prop back


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I absolutely adore the singer, I am not sure what the horse person is bringing to the party other than a sense of surreal menace - but I'll play along with it, this is the most interesting thing so far


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Well said Graham.


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

i was in love for a moment - but no.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Pavarotti's son?


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Oh, fuck what is this?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Yes this is why we watch this shit every year folks!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

If Pavarotti fell into a vat at the Maybelline factory...


----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

I


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Wtf is going on....I  mean..WTactualF


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

My... slightly menacing friend :/


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Patomine?

Disney?


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

More inventive in general than usual this year no?


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

This is my favourite.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

The big violin thing guy is rather fit. Not much eye candy this year...


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I'd give the cellist something to remember if I wasn't married...


----------



## felixthecat (May 13, 2017)

Wonderful Eurovision mentalness


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

He is showing his 'diversity'.

Give this man a stage show or 3


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Look at all their happy teeth.


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

A one man duet


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Wow...two very different men in one.


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

Sorry. We have to get into it. In Terry's name, why???


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Mate, your love doesn't run deep, you're about 12 - you think it's love when you hear the ice cream van turn up in your street...


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Here comes the Aussie teenage heart throb...all arms and legs


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Wow...two very different men in one.



I wouldn't be at all surprised


----------



## Cheesypoof (May 13, 2017)

That last chap was incredible! such diversity of voice - most tenors can do falsetto too, if they try


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

What past?


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Australia: "Eyebrows. No socks!"


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Three worst-rated songs in a row next. Piss break time


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

It's no use watching with non Europeans. Even if one lived in Ukraine.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

I just put the washing out!! Did I just miss a good one?


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

quimcunx said:


> It's no use watching with non Europeans. Even if one lived in Ukraine.


You've got us. 

Chemistry may have tumblr open but he's also in his corner with headphones on. My usual suspects are out drinking prosecco.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Does anyone remember 2-3 years back when Greece did that Ska-Folk number?  Now that was enjoyable


----------



## peterkro (May 13, 2017)

My friend just commented "isn't Greece in enough trouble".


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Did Angela Merkel get to choose the Greek entry?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

quimcunx said:


> It's no use watching with non Europeans. Even if one lived in Ukraine.


Try watching with Yorkshiremen! We had words and he's gone upstairs  I miss you!!!


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Three worst-rated songs in a row next. Piss break time


Yeah, Australia and Greece whose the third?


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I didn't enjoy that one at all, sorry


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Try watching with Yorkshiremen! We had words and he's gone upstairs  I miss you!!!



I miss you tooooio! 

S is like we are watching it with. 

I like her dress and hair. He says. He doesn't understand.


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Discount One Direction.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

That started well, but quickly went to pot


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

El-bow Espania


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

quimcunx said:


> I miss you tooooio!
> 
> S is like we are watching it with.
> 
> I like her dress and hair. He says. He doesn't understand.


 Tell him he's suppose to compare the singers to people from 80s comedy programmes and score their teeth out of ten


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

There's something wrong with his eye.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

ie. (in reference to my earlier comment) as soon as they opened their mouths


----------



## ginger_syn (May 13, 2017)

Awful song but quite bouncy.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Fuck me it's like a sub-Olly Murs...if there could be such a thing


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

My house internet has gone down


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

I'm not voting for Spain. The bassist is miming.  There is clearly no lead in his guitar.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

magneze said:


> Discount One Direction.


They are like a boy band on xfactir and Simon says 'can you lose the other two?' to the lead boy and he cries a bit then ditches them then gets binned in the first heat anyway and ends up with no mates


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Mation said:


> My house internet has gone down


Noooooooooo


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Slipknot's let himself go.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

The Ed Sheeran clone factory has gone a bit wonky


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

The Garth Brooks of Scandinavian electropop. I like it!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Olly Murs in 10 years


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Darth Maul on keyboard..


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Is mental health awareness week international?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Mation said:


> My house internet has gone down


Sympathy like!


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

I quite liked that from Vikingland


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I quite liked that from Vikingland


Me too! 


Mans!!! It's Mans!!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

QueenOfGoths said:


> I quite liked that from Vikingland


Yeah I thought that was the least bad thing so far


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

He can give me tips, eh  eh


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Without the mask...







*swoon*


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oh noooooo stop stop stop


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

Mans!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Oooh, hot swedish guy is back


----------



## Mation (May 13, 2017)

Zip. Zilch. Nada


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Taffus minimus (sorry Ed!)


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Eastern Europe loves miserable old tosh like this, right?


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Hey Europe. Sorry about Brexit.


----------



## hash tag (May 13, 2017)

I just gave up.


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

Nice hair nice voice but dress is too low cut for S.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I feel as though I am betraying every internationalist bone in my body, but this actually ain't that bad in comparison to what we have had so far


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Hmm. Idk why I don't hate it  Loud bit! Fire! No bra!


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Enjoying the 'Kate Middleton in a gurning competition' aspect.


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

she has an excellent  voice, but this has nul point written all over it, brexit or not.


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Not bad


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Still no pirates


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

This is very familiar for some reason...


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

That wasn't half bad for the UK, best song we've put in for years


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

The quiet bits of this one sound like a completely soulless version of that Rag n Bone Man song.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

This Cyprus effort is quite ordinary. Next!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I quite like this for reasons I can't quite pinpoint


----------



## May Kasahara (May 13, 2017)

The song was dreary as fuck but I'm impressed we managed to conjure up an in-tune performance 

Am watching with my 8yo son, he is being hilarious company. Of the Cyprus effort: "I think they've drawn that line on the floor because they don't know the steps."


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

It is verrrry slightly reminiscent of the pirates song!! Hang on brb

Edit: no it's not ignore me


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

That well known Romanian tradition of... yodeling...


----------



## Saffy (May 13, 2017)

I will definitely be singing this over the next week.


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Yodelling! Must be ticking a box on a not few Eurovision drinking games...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Lol tho. And teehee.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Oh good grief - Romania clearly didn't want to be in any danger of hosting next year


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Oh fuck.  Yodelling.  and she is so hot.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

I quite like this strange yodel/rap mash up


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

I swear to god if this shit wins I'm never watching eurovision ever again!


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Is taht bloke really standing on a cannon like its his dick?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

It's making me want to yodel


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Yodel-megamix


----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

Yodel rapping ftw


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

IT IS UTTERLY MAD!!


----------



## Plumdaff (May 13, 2017)

MAKE THE YODEL STOP

come back Croatian Wynne Evans, all is forgiven


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

This (Romanian yodelling) is going to win


----------



## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

All of this is utterly diabolical. What am I doing here?


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Ohhhhhhhhhh BIG GUNS


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Look, I'm sorry, but I have spent some time in Romania, and pretty much *anything* churned out by their music industry would have been better than that thing that just happened


----------



## May Kasahara (May 13, 2017)

The men in my family have nailed how Romanian lady got the job, I think:

Husband: she's got nice legs.
Son: she's wearing a flappy dress so you can see her privates.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Bare feet! Drink!


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Sia/David Guetta rip off for Germany


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> This (Romanian yodelling) is going to win



yups


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

She looks proper


----------



## May Kasahara (May 13, 2017)

QueenOfGoths said:


> Sia/David Guetta rip off for Germany



SO blatant


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

This is not good enough to justify the relentless smug-to-camera choreography.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

I loaded the YouTube page thinking "oh well I've missed the UK entry I guess, this is a live stream so I won't be able to see it now, there's just this bloke saying let me be your gravity because gravity rhymes with be" but you can rewind! How high tech is that? It's like living in the future.

So I watched it and waited for the drop but there wasn't one. Oh well.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

May Kasahara said:


> The men in my family have nailed how Romanian lady got the job, I think:
> 
> Husband: she's got nice legs.
> Son: she's wearing a flappy dress so you can see her privates.



She also Yodels very well


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

are you allowed to have a drop in Eurovision? is it against the rules?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Does the boy like this frock, May Kasahara ?


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

That wasn't dreadful, it wasn't great either


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

German song efficient, reliable, dull.


----------



## May Kasahara (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Does the boy like this frock, May Kasahara ?



He's too outraged by the fact they've ripped off Titanium to comment.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

FridgeMagnet said:


> are you allowed to have a drop in Eurovision? is it against the rules?


What, just turn up, have an imaginative bitch, then drop out again? Yes.


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

FridgeMagnet said:


> are you allowed to have a drop in Eurovision? is it against the rules?


It's allowed. but this year does not deliver.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Who ripped her sleeve?


----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

Eurovision amateur choir of the year


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Ukrainian rock!!


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

quimcunx said:


> German song efficient, reliable, dull.


Volkswagen pop


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> She also Yodels very well


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

'Rock'


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

'Sproing'


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Ukraine = shit pop song. Won't be in the top half.


----------



## Saffy (May 13, 2017)

This rock song is missing the rock element.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I quite like this one, it's sort of Euro-pop meets Euro-soft-rock, this is something I can live with


----------



## xenon (May 13, 2017)

Bein made to watch this at cousins place... Anyway Hungary I reckon.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I am won over now


----------



## May Kasahara (May 13, 2017)

The boy is now freestyling over the top of every song  "whyyyyy do you own a massive headdddd made of glaaaassss, it wouldn't survive an earthquake... And neither would youuuuu"


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

U200


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Ukraine making damned sure they dont have to host it next year


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Ukraine for the win - douze pointes


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

Be fair, this is pretty fucking metal.


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

That was shit


----------



## cyril_smear (May 13, 2017)

*Ignore Thread - Eurovision 2017*
Ignore this thread on...

 News Feed
 New Posts
 Thread List

Yawn; fuck off.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Speak up dear


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Is this one even happening?


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Poor girl looks terrified.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

"Are we going to lose it all?"

I dunno love, try looking for it in the voluminous folds of your massive skirt


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

STOP MUMBLING GIRL


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Belgium - I love this


----------



## May Kasahara (May 13, 2017)

Excellent goth wedding dress styling, and I quite like the Ultravox style synthpop.


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

H thinks this will win.


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Poor kid looks terrified.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Not thinking much of this one tbh


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

I quite like this.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Upper her game from the semi tbf


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

This would actually be pretty good in an early 80s synthpop way if she was singing it properly.


----------



## Saffy (May 13, 2017)

She reminds me of Florence Welch.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Only 17!!!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Although when she sang the words "Danger zone" my husband did the obvious "Archer" reference


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

quimcunx said:


> H thinks this will win.


It's a very good song. Enough to get you searching for what else she's done


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

The song is "I can't go on".

My thought - well don't then


----------



## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

Saffy said:


> She reminds me of Florence Welch.


More the truly dreadful Lana del Rey I thought.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Oooh what's _this_?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Was he just having a wank?


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Sweden think they are going to win.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

For a moment I thought the announcer said "and now it's Sweden - Robyn!" but it's not, is it? It's David Beckham.


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

This lot look like premiership footballers showing off forlornly in a regional nightclub after the news of their team's imminent relegation.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

_Freaking_ beautiful????


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Epona said:


> The song is "I can't go on".
> 
> My thought - well don't then


I said the same to Mrs Spy.

She said "he's singing, you're commentating"

Fair enough.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

That's quite some hair he's got going on


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Is it the current fashion to wear suits that don't fit well?

I dunno, there's something about this guy that reminds me of Robin Thicke for some reason - probably doing him (Eurovision guy) a disservice though, that's a pretty harsh thing to say


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Robin Thicko. Next.


----------



## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

Still haven't worked out what key this is supposed to be in.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Eurghhhhhhhhhhhh! I just want fricken kill this....


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> Still haven't worked out what key this is supposed to be in.


Did you see the yodelling?


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

This one has a nice dog.


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

S - Sweden boring but good moves.


----------



## Saffy (May 13, 2017)

I love him.


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Looks like the kid off Mad magazine


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Robin Thicko. Next.



I'm actually really relieved that I wasn't the only one to think that when he went on stage...


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Is my telly broken?


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

And now it's time for the junior talent show   He's really sweet, but I hope he's done his homework bless him


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

+






=


----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Is my telly broken?


 my one had a couple of drop outs


----------



## xenon (May 13, 2017)

I'm a skeleton. That was sorta OK. 

This is forgetible.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

This is the sort of thing that does really well innit


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Nailed it kiddo


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Should've done more.


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

Just tuned in.

This guy looks lost on the big stage ... bit pants ..


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

S thinks this girl is the winner. 

H has gone to bed.


----------



## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Did you see the yodelling?


I did. That I could tell what key it was supposed to be in, even if it wasn't.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

wtfftw said:


> Should've done more.





Dr. Furface said:


> Nailed it kiddo


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

It is yes, but this guy has not pullled it off, but fair play from anoyther 17 yr old.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I gave that lad an extra point when I scored him, because it must be a late night for him


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

quimcunx said:


> S thinks this girl is the winner.
> 
> H has gone to bed.


Who the fuck is H?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


>


All bets are off!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Oh thank fuck, this sounds like what I expect from Eurovision


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> All bets are off!


Drink!


----------



## xenon (May 13, 2017)

France... No.


----------



## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

Whoever wrote the lyrics for this wasn't a singer, because clearly you can't actually sing them.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

That's it??? But I didn't like any of them


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

She's hot though


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

Is the french entry singing in french and then english?  I'd be appaled if i was french.


----------



## QueenOfGoths (May 13, 2017)

Okay, in no particular order Portugal, Belgium, Bulgaria or the UK for me.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Dr. Furface said:


> All bets are off!



Mine isn't. I've got twnty quid riding on him.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> Whoever wrote the lyrics for this wasn't a singer, because clearly you can't actually sing them.


I thought her voice was quite nice tho. I mean, I can't hold a note to save my life but it was a decent stab, I thought?


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Mine isn't. I've got twnty quid riding on him.


£5 here - good luck!


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

I gave 12 points to Azerbaijan, I don't think any of the acts this year were particularly memorable though


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Verka!


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Belgium for me, although the execution was timid.

I could do without the Eastern European Dame Edna.


----------



## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

This is a really good example of something that doesn't need an app.


----------



## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> I thought her voice was quite nice tho. I mean, I can't hold a note to save my life but it was a decent stab, I thought?


I was too worried about when she was going to have time to breathe to notice.


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> I was too worried about when she was going to have time to breathe to notice.


Technically correct then


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

Well despite my own scores, I just registered a vote for Ukraine's euro-rock entry, which is the only song I fucking remember any part of


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)




----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Fields of the Nephilim have let themselves go.


----------



## Mrs Miggins (May 13, 2017)

I have a tale of woe to report....I've been trudging around Melbourne since 4.30am to no less than 3 places that were supposed to be showing Eurovision live.....it was all lies. I am heartbroken


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

Wild Dances, Satellite and Euphoria are still on rotation round mine. The rest of the eurovision back catalogue means nothing to me.


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

So who will predictably vote for each other? And who will be friendly to Britain this time?


----------



## 5t3IIa (May 13, 2017)

the Lost Boys line dancing. I'm going to bed.


----------



## xenon (May 13, 2017)

Hungary
Asibajan
Belgium
Croatia for wierd lols.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

No particular order...Portugal, Hungary, Armenia, Bulgaria (because the young'un nailed it) also Belguim because I think people will like it despite her lack of personality.


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

Australia ?


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 13, 2017)

romania. fuck it.


----------



## Epona (May 13, 2017)

These clips that they show when they are doing the 'how to vote' thing don't seem to bear much relation to the show I just watched -I guess it's just proof that you can condense anything into a brief clip with some clever editing and make it look better


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Malta will be the only high scorer for the UK


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Can I vote for this instead.


----------



## juice_terry (May 13, 2017)

Best song of the night 

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

Voted Portugal & Maldova. Liked Sweden too but they've won it enough times already.


----------



## FridgeMagnet (May 13, 2017)

Indeliblelink said:


> Can I vote for this instead.


Yeah I vote for the band who are all from Mass Effect.


----------



## quimcunx (May 13, 2017)

Ruslan's mix of Ukrainian and English was ok.


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

Who is going to be the UK's representative and will anyone have heard of them before?


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Hungary


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

weltweit said:


> Who is going to be the UK's representative and will anyone have heard of them before?


Theresa May


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

Portugal are now slightly the bookies favs - taken over from Italy who are now 2nd. Pretty much equal though. Then it's Bulgaria, Belgium, Sweden


----------



## Saffy (May 13, 2017)




----------



## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

Did someone draped in the Aussie flag just do a moonie?


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Well, her complete non-reaction to that arse kind of bears out what Graham Norton was just saying about no-one giving a shit about the UK....

e2a: oh, was it Aussie? Thought it was the Union Jack...


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

cheeky


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Mooner!


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

TIL Sonya from Eastenders is big in Ukraine


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

I prefer her political stuff.


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

damn I went to the bog and missed it


----------



## ash (May 13, 2017)

They should never have let the Aussies into Europe- definitely s a reason for a hard brexit


----------



## mx wcfc (May 13, 2017)

magneze said:


> Theresa May





cos a eurovision thread NEEDs a link to Asbo Derek doing this.....


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

When I grow up I want to be the executive supervisor of the Eurovision Song Contest


----------



## Cheesypoof (May 13, 2017)

ahh so rubbish aint they doing the phonecall ting??


----------



## Indeliblelink (May 13, 2017)

I swear this bloke is kimi raikkonen's dad.


----------



## Cheesypoof (May 13, 2017)

oh they are....


----------



## hash tag (May 13, 2017)

Portugal.


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

UK not completely shown up... so far...


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

ISRAEXIT!


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> ISRAEXIT!



Were they saying they weren't taking part any more, or just that the TV channel was closing? I couldn't work it out.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Stupid Macedonians cost me £90 last year


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Norway appear to have Jedward doing the judging.


----------



## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Norwegian Jedward


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 13, 2017)

fuckin scandi jedward


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

hash tag said:


> Portugal.



Getting excited here...It's far and away the best song and most honest entry. My fav by far!


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Nine Bob Note said:


> Norwegian Jedward



Jinx!


----------



## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

This is shit - they've taken all the tension and excitement out of the scoring by just getting the presenter to give the 12 pointer


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

The public are going to let me and Portugal down aren't they?


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Greece doing the Miami Vice thing.


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

I thought Portugal was shite


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

WOW!


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

weltweit said:


> I thought Portugal was shite



Go to bed!


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

That's Norton's moment of the night: sarcastically imitating the Armenian announcer's laugh


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

It's not extraordinary...It's right and proper!


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> Were they saying they weren't taking part any more, or just that the TV channel was closing? I couldn't work it out.


The TV channel that is closing is how they take part (IBA part of EBU) so they won't be taking part.
Unless there's a fix for that but they didn't say...


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

It's good to see the Ukrainians can still enjoy themselves, after all they've been through


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Why do the two presenter dudes seem surprised every time a country pitches up to report? 

How random is this?


----------



## not-bono-ever (May 13, 2017)

fucking hell


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> Why do the two presenter dudes seem surprised every time a country pitches up to report?



Impeccable presenting skills, silly!


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

OK Australia can stay


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Spain eminently deserve their null points. Bit harsh on Germany's effort, though.


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

My tip has gone down like a lead balloon. Like every year. [emoji106]


----------



## ash (May 13, 2017)

Love the Jarvis bum.
More votes than ever this year for UK. Everyone loves us we don't care


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

ash said:


> Love the Jarvis bum.
> More votes than ever this year for UK. Everyone loves us we don't care



Who knew? All we had to do was promise to fuck off out of Europe and they don't hate us quite as much.


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Will the audience vote count?


----------



## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

So it is Germany and Spain yet to score. Have they no natural allies?


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Can he do it?...come on Salvador!


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Just heard the Portugal song, missed it earlier.

Outstanding tune. Love to hear an English version.


----------



## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> Just heard the Portugal song, missed it earlier.
> 
> Outstanding tune. Love to hear an English version.



That's the problem with this show, eh. Bloody foreign songs.


----------



## magneze (May 13, 2017)

Croatia knows [emoji2]


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> Just heard the Portugal song, missed it earlier.
> 
> Outstanding tune. Love to hear an English version.



I love the fact he didn't sing in English. It's beautiful...it needed no bells of whistles!  I speak Spanish so understood some of it. Portuguese is a beautiful language to sing in. I think it's the vowel endings on words and intonation.


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> That's the problem with this show, eh. Bloody foreign songs.


They come over here ...


----------



## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> I love the fact he didn't sing in English. It's beautiful...it needed no bells of whistles!


Agreed. Id just like to know what he was singing about.


----------



## wtfftw (May 13, 2017)

This is complicated.


----------



## tommers (May 13, 2017)

I miss Terry.


----------



## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> Agreed. Id just like to know what he was singing about.



*“AMAR PELOS DOIS” ENGLISH LYRICS / TRANSLATION*
If one day someone asks about me
Tell them I lived to love you
Before you, I only existed
Tired and with nothing to give

My dear, listen to my prayers
I beg you to return, to want me again
I know that one can’t love alone
Maybe slowly you might learn again

My dear, listen to my prayers
I beg you to return, to want me again
I know that one can’t love alone
Maybe slowly you might learn again

If your heart doesn’t wish to give in
Not to feel passion, not to suffer
Without making plans of what will come after
My heart can love for the both of us


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## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> *“AMAR PELOS DOIS” ENGLISH LYRICS / TRANSLATION*
> If one day someone asks about me
> Tell them I lived to love you
> Before you, I only existed
> ...


You singing to me , Ruti?


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> You singing to me , Ruti?



No! 

Learn it and sing it to Kris


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## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> No!
> 
> Learn it and sing it to Kris


Too late. I associate it with you now. And I've got it on earworm ...


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> Too late. I associate it with you now. And I've got it on earworm ...


Hahah well, I have been associated with worst things so 

Edge of seat here...I want him to WIN!


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## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Fuck me, they're making a meal of this aren't they?


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## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> Fuck me, they're making a meal of this aren't they?



It's worse than Masterchef.


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Of course they are!


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## Nine Bob Note (May 13, 2017)

Shit. Lost £8


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Boom! PORTUGAL...Well fucking deserved. He smashed it! 

So honest and beautiful. How is he that calm?


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## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Boom! PORTUGAL...Well fucking deserved. He smashed it!
> 
> So honest and beautiful. How is he that calm?


Thought I was just stoned when I said it was the best Eurovision song for years but heard it a coupe of times now. It really is very good.


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## ska invita (May 13, 2017)

ska invita said:


> My top 3 of last night though
> Portugal - nice to see Portugese drug legalisation laws having a positive effect on eurovision
> Belgium - catchy tune, but not very eurovish
> Moldova - Had a donk on it and the cheery sax player made it. Running man too
> ...


called three of the top 4, a personal best


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## billy_bob (May 13, 2017)

That's the worse Eurovision victory speech _ever_. Music that means something? You what?!


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## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Did Bulgaria just win there?

What the fuck happened?


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

ska invita said:


> called three of the top 4, a personal best



I told you Portugal was the best.  I called it last year too.


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Oh god...he smashed the speech too.


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## ska invita (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> So honest and beautiful. How is he that calm?


I was just reading today how new research has demonstrated how lsd makes it neurologicaly harder to experience fear


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

billy_bob said:


> That's the worse Eurovision victory speech _ever_. Music that means something? You what?!



Music is not about fireworks...it's about feeling!


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

ska invita said:


> I was just reading today how new research has demonstrated how lsd makes it neurologicaly harder to experience fear



 Well..there is that.


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## Dr. Furface (May 13, 2017)

ska invita said:


> I was just reading today how new research has demonstrated how lsd makes it neurologicaly harder to experience fear


Scientists - what do they fucking know!


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## weltweit (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Go to bed!


Now I can go to bed


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## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

Rutita1 said:


> Music is not about fireworks...it's about feeling!


Who was your #2?


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Obrigado Portugal!


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## Reiabuzz (May 13, 2017)

Man bun   up there with white guys with dreads. Shocker. 

Worst eurovision ever? Although the Belgian girl was genuinely good.


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

Spymaster said:


> Who was your #2?



I don't care anymore 

But yeah I was impressed by the young'un from Bulgaria as his performance was really good.


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## RubyToogood (May 13, 2017)

Winning entry nice but basically Moon River.


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## Treacle Toes (May 13, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> Winning entry nice but basically Moon River.


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## Spymaster (May 13, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> Winning entry nice but basically Moon River.


I think that was the best Eurovision winner I can remember. That's my kind of music, despite my son giving me wanker signs on Facetime.


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## xsunnysuex (May 13, 2017)

The best song won.  That was truly beautiful.


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## toblerone3 (May 13, 2017)

Indeliblelink said:


> damn I went to the bog and missed it


Just for you Indeliblelink


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## Steel Icarus (May 14, 2017)

Unexpected win (but one I predicted just before it started). Sounded like Henri Salvador, i.e. music made six months after the end of the world. Beautiful, just that. 

I also liked Epic sax guy's return, Swedish OK Go and Opera/rocker Sam Tarley


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## Vintage Paw (May 14, 2017)

I called the top 5, voted for 4 of them 

The top 5 were reflected perfectly as-is in Twitter's worldwide trending topics during the latter half of the show. A new metric for last minute betting.


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## Vintage Paw (May 14, 2017)

I wanted Portugal to win. I am very happy.


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## Indeliblelink (May 14, 2017)

toblerone3 said:


> Just for you Indeliblelink




oh that was a a proper mooning too , cheers for the link


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## ska invita (May 14, 2017)

I'm glad Italy bombed...it was pretty shit and got cheap points from the genuinely shit gorilla costume...


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## tommers (May 14, 2017)

I thought the sister brother duet at the end was very sweet and she was as good as him.


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## Treacle Toes (May 14, 2017)

There was a real sense of him wanting to celebrate his sister's talent as a composer...just lovely all around.


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## Reiabuzz (May 14, 2017)

toblerone3 said:


> Just for you Indeliblelink




Well, at least the Ukrainian security services are noted for their gentle manner. Particularly when humiliated in front of a global tv audience. Good luck cobber!


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## quimcunx (May 14, 2017)

Missed it at the beginning. Sweet song. Also reminded me of something very old. Moon river might well be it .


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## Wookey (May 14, 2017)

I missed the main show,  but saw the round up of about five seconds of each song at the end,  and called Portugal as my favourite -  tried voting but had no credit,  and thought "oh well,  I'll never hear that song again..." 

And then about three weeks later,  it won!


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## rekil (May 14, 2017)

copliker said:


> The Portugal one is the sort of thing the public doesn't like as much as judges.






			
				Plain People Of Europe said:
			
		

> Let's make this internet prick look stupid again.


A somewhat ungracious victory speech but his refugee support stuff earlier in the week was great.


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## rekil (May 14, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Only 17!!!





Spoiler


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## ska invita (May 14, 2017)

Spain nil points was harsh. Wasn't the worst


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## hash tag (May 14, 2017)

Portugal was by far and away the best there was. It's always good to hear a nation sing in their own tongue rather than the majority, who all appear to sing in English.


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## weltweit (May 14, 2017)

At what stage of brexit negotiations will we discuss how we leave Eurovision without the loss of jobs?


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## May Kasahara (May 14, 2017)

RubyToogood said:


> Winning entry nice but basically Moon River.



I thought it sounded like the theme tune from Birds of a Feather.


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## May Kasahara (May 14, 2017)

ska invita said:


> Spain nil points was harsh. Wasn't the worst



It was fucking shit though, let's be fair.


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## rekil (May 14, 2017)

It got 5! 

Eurovision 2017 Results: Voting & Points

Interesting that Australia got shit all from the public.


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## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2017)

May Kasahara said:


> It was fucking shit though, let's be fair.


Which one was Spain?


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## May Kasahara (May 14, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Which one was Spain?



Blond beach bums with a twerking VW camper van in the background.


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## 5t3IIa (May 14, 2017)

May Kasahara said:


> Blond beach bums with a twerking VW camper van in the background.


Discount One Direction?


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## billy_bob (May 14, 2017)

5t3IIa said:


> Discount One Direction?



Juan Direction!

(L'esprit d'escalier strikes again )


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## Vintage Paw (May 14, 2017)

It takes a special kind of thick contrarian...


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