# Annoying Adverts 2016



## twentythreedom (Dec 31, 2015)

Stand by for further information


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## Cid (Jan 4, 2016)

Not so much annoying as truly bizarre. And not an advert so much as an entire company, not starting a new thread though. Encountered on one of the Welcome break service stations northbound on the M1 (not my pic):







'Caution: furious tossing in progress'. Fast food start up called 'Tossed', their founder describes himself (on their website which I will refrain from linking to) as 'top tosser'.


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## Mrs Miggins (Jan 4, 2016)

Cid said:


> Not so much annoying as truly bizarre. Encountered on one of the Welcome break service stations northbound on the M1 (not my pic):
> 
> 
> 
> ...


We've had em in london for ages and yes, they are irritating.


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## DotCommunist (Jan 4, 2016)

so the salad bars USP is a wanking gag?

hold the mayo


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## Cid (Jan 4, 2016)

DotCommunist said:


> so the salad bars USP is a wanking gag?
> 
> hold the mayo



But they've worked their way into the most banally family friendly of service institutions; the welcome break service station.


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## twentythreedom (Jan 4, 2016)

An excellent start to the year for the thread. Cunts


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## Cid (Jan 4, 2016)

twentythreedom said:


> An excellent start to the year for the thread. Cunts



Tossers surely?


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## Mrs Miggins (Jan 4, 2016)

DotCommunist said:


> so the salad bars USP is a wanking gag?
> 
> hold the mayo


They have many other shortcomings (fnaar)...


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## twentythreedom (Jan 4, 2016)

Cid said:


> Tossers surely?


That as well


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## 8115 (Jan 8, 2016)

The only thing that surpasses the shitness of the trailer for Lip Sync Battle UK on Channel 5 is the concept of the actual program.


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## 8115 (Jan 8, 2016)

I also hate that Centerparcs advert.


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## T & P (Jan 9, 2016)

The annoying tenor cunt is back on the GoCompfuckingcare ads. Clearly their getting rid of him last year didn't quite work. I personally would go out of my way to boycott the service on general principle, but perhaps others will be more likely to use it even if they hate ads. Which of course is the whole point of it.


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## Gromit (Jan 9, 2016)

Two words:


Dolphin Whisperer


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## gosub (Jan 10, 2016)

Gromit said:


> Two words:
> 
> 
> Dolphin Whisperer


Sadly, it is the way the future is going


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## Gromit (Jan 10, 2016)

gosub said:


> Sadly, it is the way the future is going



Its a sad ithat this is in fact a wish fulfillment advert.The desire to be a viral.
Modern society now had the fantasy that their mobile phone might inadvertently make you loved and famous. And so should be switched on to record whenever anything happens.
I say inadvertently as we are supposed to like them more for the fact that they didn't post the viral vid, she generously shared it with someone who asked for a copy, who we are supposed to believe is the first link in the viral chain. This makes the whole thing purer rather than them seeking the attention and suing people for a cut of the merch profits.


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## gosub (Jan 10, 2016)

Andy Warhol's 'famous for 15 mins' moves a step closer


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## Puddy_Tat (Jan 10, 2016)

current telly advert with bronski beat's 'smalltown boy' as music.

wtf has a song about a gay teenager leaving homophobic home town got to do with selling sofas?


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## Reno (Jan 10, 2016)

gosub said:


> Andy Warhol's 'famous for 15 mins' moves a step closer


We've already moved past that.


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## Artaxerxes (Jan 10, 2016)

Car Insurance robot thing motherfucker, now with annoying friends.


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## Tony_LeaS (Jan 16, 2016)

Mya.

"Had my boobs done, loved them."

Youre still a fucking cunt.


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## Doctor Carrot (Jan 16, 2016)

This one from my thread which belongs here too. What kind of shit cunt thinks these things up?


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## twentythreedom (Jan 16, 2016)

Tony_LeaS said:


> Mya.
> 
> "Had my boobs done, loved them."
> 
> Youre still a fucking cunt.


Oh yeah I saw that one. Fucking ghastly


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## felixthecat (Jan 26, 2016)

Artaxerxes said:


> Car Insurance robot thing motherfucker, now with annoying friends.


This does my head in everytime - makes me want to damage things.

However I do like the Cheapflights one just for the  sight of the lovely Jacob Tomuri throwing himself down flights of stairs etc


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## twentythreedom (Jan 26, 2016)

You're so money supermarket USA secret service dancing guy

Gary unleashes his #EPICWOLF in our Ad | MoneySuperMarket

No


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## isvicthere? (Jan 26, 2016)

Puddy_Tat said:


> current telly advert with bronski beat's 'smalltown boy' as music.
> 
> wtf has a song about a gay teenager leaving homophobic home town got to do with selling sofas?



That's a whole thread in itself. See also the Only Ones' paean to smack "Another girl, another planet" used to flog mobile phones, among many others.


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## DotCommunist (Jan 26, 2016)

can't remember who- think it was car scum- used the opening lyrics of Kinks Shangri-la for their ad. I was fucking furious. And it didn't even last long enough to kick into the jangly psychadelia bits


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## isvicthere? (Jan 26, 2016)

DotCommunist said:


> can't remember who- think it was car scum- used the opening lyrics of Kinks Shangri-la for their ad. I was fucking furious. And it didn't even last long enough to kick into the jangly psychadelia bits



Indeed. Can't think of any examples offhand, but the Kinks seem a particular favourite of ad men going for a lazy "classic" feel.


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## T & P (Jan 26, 2016)

All the 50-80 funeral expense saving plans are really grating. I haven't looked at the small print since I'm too young and I wouldn't consider them anyway, but they come across as predatory and I suspect poor value for money if one isn't careful.

On a semi-related note, the Park Xmas saving plan can fuck off as well.


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## Dr. Furface (Jan 27, 2016)

The Chris Moyles one for Radio X. As if anyone needed reminding he's a cunt.


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## 8115 (Jan 27, 2016)

What does it actually mean to "Marvin Gaye and get it on" and what does that actually have to do with a car?

Every time this advert is on I find myself debating this and it's a waste of my mental energy.


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## Espresso (Jan 31, 2016)

Whoever wrote/passed the script for the Tena lady advert I've just seen need to have a word with themselves. 
Glamorous granny type woman on screen and the female voiceover is telling us that thanks to Tena Lady "I can carry on being myself"
Given the nature of the product, surely anyone with one brain cell more than a rice pudding could have avoided a sentence like that.


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## hot air baboon (Feb 2, 2016)




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## isvicthere? (Feb 5, 2016)

That Cadbury's "Moon river" one is starting to get on my nerves.


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## Gromit (Feb 21, 2016)

The Maybelline advert that proudly announces Two times more water. 

Apparently they have another product that promises two times more blackness.


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## Me76 (Feb 22, 2016)

Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'


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## Gromit (Feb 22, 2016)

Me76 said:


> Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'


I spotted that one too.

The recent dumberning* of the English language in adverts is obviously deliberate. 
Like politicians trying to drop their posh accents and talk street because political phycologists have told them too.

* Courtesy of the Simpsons.


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## twentythreedom (Feb 26, 2016)

SCS sofas FUCK OFF


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## twentythreedom (Feb 26, 2016)

Me76 said:


> Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'


I hate that one too - proppah


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## Sirena (Feb 26, 2016)

There's a Morrison's one where they find some cornflakes are cheaper down the road.

The bloke (some comedian) had been to Morocco and wants to negotiate. ('Let's do the dance of finance'....)

It's starting to do my head in...

Oh and the Trebor one....


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## DotCommunist (Feb 26, 2016)

lloyds pharmacy are now sponsoring the Chase. The adverts are so inoffensive as to be offensive. Look at us. We're normal and heres a man in a white coat (white coat=science).


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## T & P (Feb 26, 2016)

Me76 said:


> Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'


Yes, weird.

I did google one of the other case studies, the dog grooming business, and it's real. So at least they had the decency to use real people.


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## Espresso (Feb 27, 2016)

Talking about strange pronunciation in adverts, there is one for a company that will set you up a website. To have a website you need a domain name, as we know. However, everyone and his dog that I've ever heard in real life deems to say domain with a slither over the o - d'mayn. The woman on this says the word as if it's got something to do with bread. She wants to sell us a DOUGH-mayne name.
Always sounds very jarring to me.


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## isvicthere? (Feb 27, 2016)

The Toyota ad accompanied by Bowie's "Changes." 

Corporate capitalism showing its customary sensitivity to the recently dead.


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## twentythreedom (Feb 27, 2016)

Aaargh just seen an awful VW ad - ginger dude with yellow shirt, sickening family history featuring VWs. 

Now. Then. Always. 

Fuck off


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## blairsh (Feb 27, 2016)

Oak Furniture Land. Fuck off.


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## rubbershoes (Feb 28, 2016)

blairsh said:


> Oak Furniture Land. Fuck off.



Since those adverts started they've maintained a high standard of awfulness.


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## isvicthere? (Feb 28, 2016)

If we're allowed to slip in one we like, I must say I really enjoy the Snackarchist ad. 

No-one tells him what to chew.


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## T & P (Feb 28, 2016)

Hive. Because it's simply too scary to go home if the lights are off after watching a horror film at the cinema.


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## Kesher (Feb 28, 2016)

Can't stand the music and the voice, and the way hand  is sung as_ "hehnd". Also,  _how is he going to keep anyone safe with a voice like that? One more thing,  at the end:  the looks on their faces when she appears with his dad's scarf.


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## trabuquera (Feb 29, 2016)

"there's a mountain of money put by* for people who've bought PPI** mistakenly sold to you and I***"

* no there isn't, you scamming bastards
** are there really any people left in the UK who don't know about PPI and the associated nuisance calling/texting, you scamming bastards?
*** "sold to you AND ME". ME. It gives I a near bloody aneurysm. Every. Single. Time. you illiterate scamming bastards


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## gosub (Feb 29, 2016)

trabuquera said:


> "there's a mountain of money put by* for people who've bought PPI** mistakenly sold to you and I***"
> 
> * no there isn't, you scamming bastards
> ** are there really any people left in the UK who don't know about PPI and the associated nuisance calling/texting, you scamming bastards?
> *** "sold to you AND ME". ME. It gives I a near bloody aneurysm. Every. Single. Time. you illiterate scamming bastards



mistakenly! The banks will only have considered it a "mistake" when they started getting hit with fines and told to pay it back


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## Idaho (Mar 1, 2016)

An old advert but very annoying. That Natalie Portman one about perfume where she runs out of the wedding. 

What annoys me most is that she runs out of a nice wide lawned area that a helicopter could easily land on, and (after changing dresses - so can't be in that much of a hurry) she chooses to board the craft on a rocky promontory by rope ladder.


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## gosub (Mar 1, 2016)

Idaho said:


> An old advert but very annoying. That Natalie Portman one about perfume where she runs out of the wedding.
> 
> What annoys me most is that she runs out of a nice wide lawned area that a helicopter could easily land on, and (after changing dresses - so can't be in that much of a hurry) she chooses to board the craft on a rocky promontory by rope ladder.


Pilots can be strange beasts, Aaron Senna (rip) racing down the M3 to catch his private jet a gave that as excuse (had to get there before it left without me) , everyone who didn't know Owen OMarney laughed


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## georgezip (Mar 5, 2016)

I wish Harvey keitel had resurrected his Bad Lieutenant character for the Direct Line ads instead.

"Dont get up. So you're a landlord now, a property magnate, a player?"
"It's just my wife's old flat"
"Show me how you suck a guy's cock" (whilst wanking)

My pet loathing at the moment is the ad break book end for ITV4s Bundesliga football highlights show with the ignorant obnoxious moron twat munching pies. In one example his not bad looking girlfriend wants an "early night" (ie. bang her brains out) and all he wants to do is stuff his face with a shitty cheap meat pie and watch telly. Buy this pie and you too can be a fucking loser. I FUCKING HATE HIM (but I like his girlfriend, ha ha).

Had to get that off my chest.


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## Gromit (Mar 5, 2016)

Idaho said:


> An old advert but very annoying. That Natalie Portman one about perfume where she runs out of the wedding.
> 
> What annoys me most is that she runs out of a nice wide lawned area that a helicopter could easily land on, and (after changing dresses - so can't be in that much of a hurry) she chooses to board the craft on a rocky promontory by rope ladder.


It's sooo fragmented. 

Lawn, sorry dad (doesn't apologise to the guy she's jilted the cunt). 

Cliff, different outfit for the dynamic ladder climb. 

Chopper, random guy kisses neck, no discussion or explanation. Who is flying?

Paris, just because. 

Yeah I hate it too.


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## gosub (Mar 13, 2016)

Sainsbury's Little twists, where Jarvis Cocker suggests a verity of food combinations that ALL sound revolting, the sort of the Liz Smith's character in Vicar of Dibley would come up with


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## Nanker Phelge (Mar 14, 2016)

Any go compare ad....especially the latest one...with the taxi driver....


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## May Kasahara (Mar 14, 2016)

I saw a Homebase ad the other night that was so awful I thought I might have dreamt it. Dreamy voiceover saying things like 'this sofa isn't just a thing, it's a place to make up after an argument', 'this shelf isn't just a shelf, it's a display case for your vintage porn collection' etc. Like that shite Coop advert with the bloke making his wife some toast after they'd had a dust-up, but taken to its wanky extreme. It was almost nakedly saying 'got emotional problems? BUY MORE STUFF TO FILL THE VOID'.


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## isvicthere? (Apr 5, 2016)

"Just nutmeg it."


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## isvicthere? (Apr 5, 2016)

trabuquera said:


> "there's a mountain of money put by* for people who've bought PPI** mistakenly sold to you and I***"
> 
> * no there isn't, you scamming bastards
> ** are there really any people left in the UK who don't know about PPI and the associated nuisance calling/texting, you scamming bastards?
> *** "sold to you AND ME". ME. It gives I a near bloody aneurysm. Every. Single. Time. you illiterate scamming bastards



You're not alone. Every time I see that ad, I also shout, "TO YOU AND ME!"


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## gosub (Apr 6, 2016)

Oaktree Mobility (motorised bendy beds) "I was diagnosed with heart failure...now thanks to oaktree mobility I don't have to worry about swollen ankles..."


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## 8115 (Apr 6, 2016)

Dacia Duster, that advert reaches new heights of shitness.


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## Augie March (Apr 9, 2016)

The tone of James Corden's voice in that Disney Life advert. It's pretty impressive, actually. With the pitch of his voive, he's somehow managed to perfectly replicate the sound of hundreds and thousands of banknotes, being dropped on a doorstep.


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## smmudge (Apr 30, 2016)

The Philadelphia advert with the two angels and one is going out on a date is supposed to be all light hearted, but for me has some dark undertones.

I just think of the man still on earth, devastated because he lost his wife and daughter - who were his whole family and everyone he truly cared about - in a horrific car accident, which also left him paralysed from the waist down. Now he has a crippling drink problem and is basically destitute, crying every day and night over the guilt that he was the only one that survived. Now his wife is living it up in heaven, with all the Philadelphia she wants and off on dates with Heath Ledger or David Bowie. Maybe she doesn't even remember her previous life and her grieving husband, maybe you don't remember that when you go to heaven.


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## Kesher (May 1, 2016)

Combine one of the worst songs of all time with the expressions on their faces = a very annoying advert.


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## DotCommunist (May 1, 2016)

there was one that I could just hear from the kitchen. Horrible childrens crying, sombre voice and that grating sound you can't ignore.  'What cunts used crying kids on an advert' thinks I' blatant shite' I'm thinking as I go to the living room thinking I've every mind to make a complai.....oh its save the children charity. Fair took the wind of indignance out of my sails


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## Gromit (May 19, 2016)

Postcode lottery advert with the priest or vicar or whatever he is (wearing dog collar and crucifix). 

Something grates in me at a religious representative encouraging people to gamble with such enthusiasm.


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## nuffsaid (May 19, 2016)

Anything Plusnet related, those f**kers were useless, one time I phoned their tech support when my broadband was down and their automated tel msg service just repeated the message 'If you have a problem with your broadband please got to our website www.plusnet.com' -  you bunch of f**king idiots!


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## Gromit (May 20, 2016)

smmudge said:


> The Philadelphia advert with the two angels and one is going out on a date is supposed to be all light hearted, but for me has some dark undertones.
> 
> I just think of the man still on earth, devastated because he lost his wife and daughter - who were his whole family and everyone he truly cared about - in a horrific car accident, which also left him paralysed from the waist down. Now he has a crippling drink problem and is basically destitute, crying every day and night over the guilt that he was the only one that survived. Now his wife is living it up in heaven, with all the Philadelphia she wants and off on dates with Heath Ledger or David Bowie. Maybe she doesn't even remember her previous life and her grieving husband, maybe you don't remember that when you go to heaven.


If you go to the website you get the full back story...

He died 4 years before them of a heart attack and went straight to hell for preferring Dairylee over Philadelphia. 
That why they are own their own now after dying in a car crash together.


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## twentythreedom (May 20, 2016)

The new McDonald's one is fucking appalling


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## Gromit (Jun 1, 2016)

How about that woman who worried about being beach ready before jumping into a pool at a party.
What would we do without razors!!!


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## The Octagon (Jun 1, 2016)

The Paddy Power one with every Scottish stereotype ever. 

I actually laughed at the level of cringe.


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## 1927 (Jun 1, 2016)

The Deezer ad with everything that rhymes with Deezer annoys me to the point I want to switch off to and never turn it back on again ever!


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## twentythreedom (Jun 10, 2016)

Loads of the adverts during Euro '16


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## nuffsaid (Jun 13, 2016)

That Lloyds bank advert with a horse in every shot while melancholy music plays trying to tug on your heart-strings....No, you're a fucking bank!! You are evil..fuck off!


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## YouSir (Jun 15, 2016)

It's a YouTube ad not a TV one but KitKat presents Crossy Road... Never made the end but as far as I can tell it's a couple of hit-the-youth-demographic personality vacuums playing fucking Frogger. Which is exciting, apparently.

May be a twist ending I've missed though, hope so.


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## krtek a houby (Jun 15, 2016)

That meerkat Batman V Superman one was very, very annoying.


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## discobastard (Jun 15, 2016)

This has been brutally irritating on my train to work for several weeks now:


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## Me76 (Jun 15, 2016)

discobastard said:


> This has been brutally irritating on my train to work for several weeks now:


I know.  Wally is spelled with an a.


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## Buckaroo (Jun 18, 2016)

Kenco. The one with the tattoo of a gun on a hand. Buy our coffee and stop gang warfare or something?


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## discobastard (Jun 20, 2016)

Me76 said:


> I know.  Wally is spelled with an a.


That was what was annoying me. 
Though that guys face was coming a very close second. 

Turns out it is a deliberate attempt to get people to POST IT UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 

The ‘contraversial’ way to get more users.

Sorry everyone. Do NOT Flubit, whatever that means.


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## Sirena (Jun 22, 2016)

No comment


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## May Kasahara (Jun 22, 2016)

I think I hate the Just Eat adverts more than any others at the moment.


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## vogonity (Jun 23, 2016)

"...after all, it's what we do."

Please fuck off you ambulance-chasing parasites.


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## krtek a houby (Jun 23, 2016)

That advert with the bearded bloke and a leprechaun "yes, this is happening".


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## rubbershoes (Jun 24, 2016)

May Kasahara said:


> I think I hate the Just Eat adverts more than any others at the moment.




All their adverts are as bad as each other


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## ringo (Jun 27, 2016)

Not TV, this is a corporate promo video. I have a meeting with this lot later, I hope their spiel isn't this combination of OTT meaninglessly vague hype.


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## stavros (Jul 8, 2016)

Could this be any more blatant in ripping off _Back In Black?

_


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## hot air baboon (Jul 27, 2016)

...he's in _*Skyyyyyyyyyyy*_ Vegas....


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## Espresso (Aug 5, 2016)

Apparently if you use Revitalift face cream, your skin will be redensified.
Good God. 
Why not emplumpened? Or dewrinklated?


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## twentythreedom (Aug 5, 2016)

So many of the ads on LBC  (Been driving loads lately)


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## scifisam (Sep 7, 2016)

Adverts I currently click away from even if it means I might forget to click back in time for my programme:

James Corden I'm Mr Green Light! _Die die die_
The Maltesers advert with the girl who hates Maltesers and her friend who hates her Grandmother
The creepy Audrey Hepburn advert. She didn't do adverts and using her after her death is like advertising necrophilia
The extremely creepy children's voices Haribo adverts. Hope the makers never go near any real children and suspect they may be banned from going within 100 yards of them.


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## twentythreedom (Sep 7, 2016)

And the ghastly Tesco couple


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## scifisam (Sep 8, 2016)

twentythreedom said:


> And the ghastly Tesco couple


That includes the other half of the Gavin and Stacy writing duo. Cordon's got a massive chat show in America and she's an annoying middle class mum who belittles her husband in Tesco ads.


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## hot air baboon (Sep 8, 2016)

_...for people who spit blood when they brush their teeth....  ( woman spits her teeth out into the palm of her hand )_

...I'm spitting blood about your shit advertising matey....it'll be American style no-holds barred haemorroid treatment adverts next


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## Espresso (Sep 10, 2016)

The latest one for Pampers is very aggravating. That line "Where has all the pee gone?" annoys the living daylights out of me.


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## twentythreedom (Sep 10, 2016)

scifisam said:


> That includes the other half of the Gavin and Stacy writing duo. Cordon's got a massive chat show in America and she's an annoying middle class mum who belittles her husband in Tesco ads.


Ruth Jones? That's not her is it? If it is, then oh dear


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## scifisam (Sep 10, 2016)

twentythreedom said:


> Ruth Jones? That's not her is it? If it is, then oh dear


Yup, it's her!


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## stavros (Sep 10, 2016)

I get so sick of the same ads being shown in every break during a show. Every night during the Vuelta highlights they show that stupid Benicio del Toro advert for some booze or other, and then for something called "Clash Royale" without actually saying what the fuck it is.


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## twentythreedom (Sep 10, 2016)

scifisam said:


> Yup, it's her!


Bloody hell  She's usually excellent


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## Espresso (Sep 24, 2016)

There is an ad on now for some species of no sugar Coke where the voice over person says a line which is written on the screen. Strangely enough people who like this pop like " it's" flavour and taste.
Proof enough that drinking pop with artificial sweeteners in it makes you stupid.

Drink gin and be wise.


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## twentythreedom (Sep 30, 2016)

stavros said:


> I get so sick of the same ads being shown in every break during a show. Every night during the Vuelta highlights they show that stupid Benicio del Toro advert for some booze or other, and then for something called "Clash Royale" without actually saying what the fuck it is.


Benicio pulls it off in that ad purely by having a fucking brilliant face though tbf


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## isvicthere? (Oct 2, 2016)

The one for the Amazon stick. Tax dodgers, Clarkson and xenophobia: what's to like?


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## moody (Oct 13, 2016)

strongbow cloudy apple or what ever it is, I am telling you it is so ott, with the epic rock music too.

cloudman, go home.


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## theonlooker (Oct 30, 2016)

well at the moment, the brain dead dickhead driving the (TIGWAN) arm out the window in the safari
and the femail attendant with accent like razor blades on glass telling him to stop.
terrible terrible,


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## theonlooker (Oct 30, 2016)

Thats on LBC


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## twentythreedom (Nov 1, 2016)

That one with the female dj punting tampons


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## Me76 (Nov 4, 2016)

twentythreedom said:


> That one with the female dj punting tampons


"As a woman..."

That does my head in too.


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## Gromit (Dec 10, 2016)

The new PC World advert of a father going computer shopping with his daughter (about to go travelling). 

He smugly hands her a MacBook Pro. 

Doesnt show the bit where they say that will be £1500 please and he says wtf. Okay let's have another look around first. 

Plus a Mac Pro might be light but that's going to get bust or stolen off of a little girl like her. No way is that suitable. It's simply the main st expensive thing she could sell him.


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## isvicthere? (Dec 22, 2016)

"Morrisons makes it."


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## 8ball (May 23, 2018)

Ok, so bit of a bump, but I can confirm without any shadow of a doubt that Oak Furnitureland are a bunch of shyster cunts.
If you knew this anyway, just ignore me.  However, if you were even considering going near these shyster cunts then stay well away.  

I can't speak personally about the quality of their furniture (you'll need to go to _Googl_e or archived episodes of _Watchdog_ for that), but I can confirm that their sales practices and general procedures are what you'd expect from textbook money-grubbing sociopaths that are all too happy to hide behind a minimum-wage centralised call-centre staff.  If it wasn't for the fact that the general staff are undoubtedly treated like total shit, I'd hang round their car park til I knew which car was which and then key them all, or let the tyres down.

If anyone knows which cars belong to senior management, details would be appreciated.


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