# Favourite Simpsons quotes?



## Throbbing Angel (Nov 18, 2013)

Hey Hey

I know there are probably far too many to make a definitive list/top/10/whatever....but, we all have favourites.

Watched a new episode last night here in the UK which had me spitting tea across Chez Angel at Smithers line in this clip.




So what are your favourites?


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## DexterTCN (Nov 18, 2013)

But Marge, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires!

Tramapoline!


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## Ranbay (Nov 18, 2013)

Can't talk, eating.


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## Throbbing Angel (Nov 18, 2013)

Saxamaphone...Saxamaphone.


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## Fez909 (Nov 18, 2013)

Lisa makes a perpetual motion machine


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## The Octagon (Nov 18, 2013)

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel"


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## Lord Camomile (Nov 18, 2013)

My two favourites come from the same scene. Can't exactly remember the setup, but Homer, Carl and Lenny think Burns is dead so they dress up in top hats and tails to dance on his grave. Burns, who is not dead, runs into them at the entrance to the cemetary.

Burns (in response to their surprise he's not dead): That's right, I pulled a Jesus!

Burns then notices their get up and asks whose grave they're going to dance on.

Lenny: .... um... the Unknown Soldier?


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## Mumbles274 (Nov 18, 2013)

"I heard your daddy went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant"

"Smithers, release the hounds"

"Mmmm floor pie"


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## Nine Bob Note (Nov 18, 2013)

"Stupid bees"


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## Enviro (Nov 18, 2013)

Lisa: "It's not foilage Mom, It's fo-lee-aage"

Marge: "That's what I said, foilage."


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## g force (Nov 18, 2013)

Anything by Troy McClure.

Personal favourite is Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'."

Grandpa: "I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was, and now what I'm with isn't it. And what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me."


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## beesonthewhatnow (Nov 18, 2013)

Pretty much every line in episode 1F17, "Lisa's Rival".


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## 8den (Nov 18, 2013)

Abe: "All right, I admit it: I am the Lindberg baby! Wah! Wah! Goo goo! I miss my fly-fly dah-dah!" 

FBI Agent: "Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?" 

Abe: "A little from column A, a little from column B..."


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## 8den (Nov 18, 2013)




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## Yossarian (Nov 18, 2013)

Milhouse: Bart, I found something awesome in the woods!

Bart: Is it a dead body?

Milhouse: It's cooler than a million dead bodies!


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## ATOMIC SUPLEX (Nov 18, 2013)

"G'me bananas"
"I can see you've played kinfey spoony before"


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## The Octagon (Nov 18, 2013)




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## DotCommunist (Nov 18, 2013)

one that made me laugh till I nearly crapped myself was so simple. From the episode where homer becomes a hippy and wrecks his fellow hippies organic juice factory by mistake

'It was kind of them to blame an oaf. But it was me'


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## D'wards (Nov 18, 2013)

Homer: "When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy."


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## D'wards (Nov 18, 2013)

Homer: "Did you know they have the internet on computers now?!"


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## jakethesnake (Nov 18, 2013)

Homer: We don't join a union and go on strike. We just go to work and do a really half-assed job. That's the American way.


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## dylanredefined (Nov 18, 2013)

When side show bob fails to kill Bart as his bomb was out of date.

  "There were plenty of other nuclear bombs ,but, I just had to go for that 50's retro charm damn it!"


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## Zapp Brannigan (Nov 18, 2013)

"I shouldn't have stooped for that haircut"


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## Boppity (Nov 18, 2013)

"Nobody is gay for Moleman"


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## neonwilderness (Nov 18, 2013)

Homer: "Kids: there's three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way!"
Bart: "Isn't that the wrong way?"
Homer: "Yeah, but faster!"


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## weltweit (Nov 18, 2013)




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## spacemonkey (Nov 18, 2013)

"You have selected Regicide. If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press 1"

"We're not talking about love here, we're talking about s.e.x in front of the c.h.i.l.d.r.e.n..."
"SEX CAULDRON?! I thought they closed that place down"

I think my all time favourite is... "Probably misses his old glasses"


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## spacemonkey (Nov 18, 2013)




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## spanglechick (Nov 18, 2013)

I call the big one "bitey".


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## weltweit (Nov 18, 2013)




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## Limerick Red (Nov 18, 2013)

"legend of the dog faced woman"


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## spacemonkey (Nov 18, 2013)

Probably my favourite sight-gag -


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## Limerick Red (Nov 18, 2013)




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## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Nov 19, 2013)




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## fishfinger (Nov 19, 2013)

Doh!


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## Delroy Booth (Nov 19, 2013)




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## Delroy Booth (Nov 19, 2013)




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## Ax^ (Nov 19, 2013)

bah

favorite sequence maybe




for one of the worst Simpson episodes


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## lighterthief (Nov 19, 2013)

"T'was a moonless night, dark as pitch, when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man..."


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## emanymton (Nov 19, 2013)

Basically the whole of 'last exit to Springfield' apart from the grinch bit.


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## Delroy Booth (Nov 19, 2013)

emanymton said:


> Basically the whole of 'last exit to Springfield' apart from the grinch bit.



Upon being elected to lead the union, Homer asks:

Homer: "Does this job pay?"

Lenny: "No"

Homer: "Do'h"

Lenny: "...Unless you're crooked"

Homer: "Woohoo!"


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## weltweit (Nov 19, 2013)

I remember liking they whole stonecutters episode.


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## emanymton (Nov 19, 2013)

Delroy Booth said:


> Upon being elected to lead the union, Homer asks:
> 
> Homer: "Does this job pay?"
> 
> ...


I love the bit of Homer getting his scar in the strike of 88.


Oh and 'did you find the bathroom?' 

'urm... Yeah'


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## weltweit (Nov 19, 2013)

Mr Burns "excellent!"


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## weltweit (Nov 19, 2013)




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## Delroy Booth (Nov 19, 2013)

The thing about The (early) Simpsons is that the writing was just _so_ good. Every few seconds there'd be a line or a throwaway remark that'd be just side-splittingly funny. That's what makes this kind of thread possible - even though we've all probably heard every single one of these lines before. Some really gag-heavy American sitcoms have maybe one or two killer lines an episode, but The Simpsons had those kinds of things every few minutes. The sort of writing that most shows would've killed for just densely packed into 21 minutes episodes. You get more genuine belly laughs out of one classic episode of The Simpson than a whole series of Frasier or Seinfeld, and both of them shows were well written and funny.

I also absolutely love Lisa Simpson's character in the really early episodes. She's the best character in it. She's such a strong character with so much comic potential - this incredibly gifted little girl born into a family of mediocrity. Such as this exchange from the first season:

*Patty*: It's almost nine o'clock.
*Selma*: Where is Homer anyway?
*Patty*: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.
*Lisa*: What, Aunt Patty?
*Patty*: Oh nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father.
*Lisa*: Well, I wish that you wouldn't. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me. And I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.
*Patty*: Mm hm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.

It's just incredible dialogue. She's the conscience of the show. Whenever the Simpsons has something genuinely profound, intelligent or subversive to say Lisa is the vehicle for it to be expressed. The episode "Moaning Lisa" in the first season is gut-wrenchingly brilliant. It's just about my favourite episode. That and the "Bart gets an F" episode has so much pathos in it, and I know that feeling of no matter how hard you try you can't seem to do it right, that bit where he breaks down in tears at the end it's just incredible.

I think it's a tragedy that Bart was the focal point of the early episodes, and then Homer's stupidity became the focal point, because all along Lisa was the best.

Another one of my favourites is Kent Brockman "Viewers I've been to Afghanistan, Lebanon and Iraq and I can honestly say without any hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together"


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## DotCommunist (Nov 19, 2013)

theres quality Lisa in the most recent season as well though

'Don't worry mom I'm only 8 years old and maybe someday I'll change my mind about marriage even if it's just a green card marriage to save a chinese dissident from deportation and torture'


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## joustmaster (Nov 19, 2013)

I quite like the occasional unexpected british swear word that turns up.


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## The Octagon (Nov 19, 2013)

Repairman 1#: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repairman 1#: Oh... yeah.

Repairman 2#: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?
Homer: Your point being...?


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## mwgdrwg (Nov 19, 2013)

Homer: I hope I didn't brain my damage!


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## Boppity (Nov 19, 2013)

Bonjooooooour you cheese eating surrender monkeys!


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## flypanam (Nov 19, 2013)

Treehouse of horror III (i think)

Bart: Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!
Homer: That was a zombie?


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## Throbbing Angel (Nov 19, 2013)

Just remembered,  a number of times a week me or Mrs A will say "Sleep* That's where I'm a Viking!"   on getting into bed


*or bed


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## skyscraper101 (Nov 19, 2013)

King Size Homer was one of my favourite episodes (where he becomes deliberately obese to get to work from home). So many choice quotes:

"Hey, buddy, you gotta slow your car down and let me in, because I'm a big fat guy and I can't go anywhere! Because there could be some poison gas, I... I mean there's really going to be poison gas, and everybody's going to be dead, especially me!"

Bart: "When I grow up, I'm gonna be a lardo on workman's comp, just like Dad" [dissolve to Bart's fantasy] "I wash myself with a rag on a stick"

Homer: "Mmmmm... I CAN feel three types of softness.
Lisa: [from upstairs] Dad, what are you doing down there?
Homer: Washing my fat guy's hat honey!


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## SpookyFrank (Nov 19, 2013)

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To order a special dialling wand, please mash the keypad with your palm"


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## Boppity (Nov 19, 2013)




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## SpookyFrank (Nov 19, 2013)

Hi I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!'


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## machine cat (Nov 19, 2013)

Can't sleep... clown'll eat me!


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## neonwilderness (Nov 19, 2013)

Agnes: "Seymour! The house is on fire!" 
Skinner: "No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.


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## spacemonkey (Nov 19, 2013)

neonwilderness said:


> Agnes: "Seymour! The house is on fire!"
> Skinner: "No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.



That whole sequence is genius. 

"May I see it?"

"Ummmm, no"


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## spacemonkey (Nov 19, 2013)

Throbbing Angel said:


> Just remembered,  a number of times a week me or Mrs A will say "Sleep* That's where I'm a Viking!"   on getting into bed
> 
> 
> *or bed



Is it sad that my number 1 attribute in a partner is being able to quote Simpsons (or at least get the odd reference)?


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## Balbi (Nov 19, 2013)

The Last Temptation of Homer is legit my favourite episode ever.




"I've got a small part in a broadway musical, it's not much but it's a start..."

*internal monologue* Oh, bravo *slow hand clap*

Wassa matter Homer, you never seen a naked chick riding a clam before?

Stewart the Duck


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## Ax^ (Nov 20, 2013)

> Your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying. "Shoot em' all and let God sort it out." Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, let's never speak of him again.


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## joustmaster (Nov 20, 2013)

anything from planet of the ape the musical


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## N_igma (Nov 20, 2013)

When Bart and Milhouse fall out it shows Milhouse playing frisbee with himself. After a couple of throws he picks it up and sighs 'I remember when Bart used to watch me do this'


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## Sprocket. (Nov 20, 2013)

Homer quotes.

Son, when taking part in a sporting event it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.

Lisa, Vampires are make believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.


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## Sprocket. (Nov 20, 2013)

This is one of my all time best.


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## skyscraper101 (Nov 20, 2013)

There's some references which went over my head the first time but I now get because I've lived in America for a bit. Eg. the reference to "Leave It To Beaver" (sickly 50's US family sitcom) in Mr. Plow.

Homer: [answers the phone] Mr. Plow, that name again is Mr. Plow.
Kumatsu Motors Man: Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors. 
Homer: Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow, you know, from "Leave It To Beaver". 
[pause] 
Homer: Yeah, they were gay.


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## pesh (Nov 20, 2013)

'The goggles, they do nothing!'


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## discokermit (Nov 20, 2013)

milhouse-when doves cry,


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## discokermit (Nov 20, 2013)

milhouse-everything's coming up milhouse,


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## danski (Nov 20, 2013)

Bart - "What's a Chachi?"
Couldn't find in english


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## Shippou-Sensei (Nov 20, 2013)

When i was in bed for months	with a broken leg i did three(ish) things

1.)  watch the entire run of  time team
2.)  Watch the entire run of  stargate sg1
3.) watch the entire run of the simpsons


SG1 passed the time
Time team stoped my brain from rotting
but the simpsons...   that  was entertaining.


also  even though simpsons   did go through a rough patch (especially around season 20)  it remains a decent watch and in my opinion has yet  to outstay its welcome*








*to  the naysayers	i ask you this....   if they axe it	do you really think  what  they replace it with will be better?


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## Delroy Booth (Nov 20, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> it remains a decent watch and in my opinion has yet  to outstay its welcome*



No i totally disagree it's utter shit. Only wishful thinking and nostalgia makes people say otherwise. It's been shit for like, at least ten seasons. Unwatchably bad. It needed cancelling after the "Homer raped by a Panda" fiasco but they are making too much fucking money off it to ever let it go, so they'll keep churning out shit. The Movie was god awful too.



Shippou-Sensei said:


> *to  the naysayers	i ask you this....   if they axe it	do you really think  what  they replace it with will be better?



Futurama was a much better and more interesting show than the contemporary Simpsons currently is. If they'd have killed off the Simpsons and replaced with Futurama then that would've been fine by me.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Nov 20, 2013)

Delroy Booth said:


> Futurama was a much better and more interesting show than the contemporary Simpsons currently is. If they'd have killed off the Simpsons and replaced with Futurama then that would've been fine by me.



that was one good show.	 and it existed	while the simpsons existed.

killing off the simpsons  will not   guarantee  another futurama

if a show is good enough  it  can co-exist   like  futurama sorta does  (man has that show hit a rough patch)




as for the rest   i really  just  don't agree   with the simpsons is now  shit theory


it's first season was kinda rocky  and	personally  i didn't  find the early  bart-centric  episodes   superfantastic.  

i think   the first peak  was somewhere around season 7   it remaind ok  untill around season 14	after that  it  was  really kinda  rocky  and  around season 20  i  really  did think  it  was maybe time to call it all a day   but since  then  they	have pulled it  back from the edge  and i really  think the last few seasons  have  been   decent

they ofcourse don't  have the spark of  the old simpsons  because  thats  just imposible   but	when you compare it to the dross that is mainstream TV	i think the simpson still comes  out  as   something  worth  tuning in to each week


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## DexterTCN (Nov 20, 2013)

Delroy Booth said:


> No i totally disagree it's utter shit....



So why are you in this thread?   Just to stop people having fun?


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## joustmaster (Nov 20, 2013)

Shippou-Sensei said:


> it's first season was kinda rocky  and	personally  i didn't  find the early  bart-centric  episodes   superfantastic.


The worst seasons are the earliest.
The show became good when homer became the star.


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## Shippou-Sensei (Nov 21, 2013)

there seems to be a bit of a split on that


i think  the fact  that laster stuff relied to heavaly on homer   makes some  fan nostalgic for the bart era


personally   i really  do belive  it's  homers  slihgtly  upbeat  downtrodden middle  man that makes the show worth wile


i really  like   episodes   like  homers phobia   where they start him out  as  actually  being  kinda homaphobic.	but  he  gets  something of a charactor arch   and  while   not perfect   at the  end of  it  he   shows  that  he  is at least open to change.


also gay steel mill




personally  i like the  fact  homer  has evolved over the years   and  while   we  have lost some of the tention  that comes form having our  everyman  having  some commonly held biggitory   i  actually   quite like  that our   new  modern everyman  is  actually  deep down a nice guy  willing to give  everyone a chance.


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## toph (Nov 21, 2013)

"Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food. But the only thing I'm hunting for is an outfit that looks gooooooood"


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## Shippou-Sensei (Nov 21, 2013)

theres only one thing you can call a simpsons quote


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## Ax^ (Nov 21, 2013)

> Honey, you should listen to your heart, and not the voices in
> your head like a certain uncle did one grey December morn.


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## Ax^ (Nov 21, 2013)

.


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## Doctor Carrot (Nov 21, 2013)

It's the worried look on his face that does it for me.



Homer: Now, what were we talking about, boy?

Bart: Uhhhh... we were talking about the time you beat jury duty.

Homer: Oh, yeah. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.


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## Doctor Carrot (Nov 21, 2013)

Dr Nick: 'Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGregg — with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg'



Disclaimer at the end of the Viagra Gain commercial: 'Possible side effects include loss of scalp and penis'



Lisa: Maybe you could take a class at Springfield Community College.
Marge: I think it's a very nice idea. Don't you, Homer?
Homer: Do I have to do anything?
Marge: No.
Homer: Great! Fine! Go nuts!

"Yoink-dot-adios-_backslash_-_losers_!" Snake after robbing the Internet cafe.


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## kittyP (Nov 21, 2013)

Homer misremembering his school days. 
Marge "That was Happy Days Homer"
Homer "ah they were all happy days Marge"


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## Favelado (Nov 21, 2013)

Homer to Lisa - "Just because I don't care it doesn't mean I don't understand."


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## Ax^ (Nov 21, 2013)




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## Delroy Booth (Nov 21, 2013)

joustmaster said:


> The worst seasons are the earliest.
> The show became good when homer became the star.



Totally disagree with this, I really like seasons 1-5. First season was a bit hit and miss, it had moments of unbelievable intelligence and subtlety but also had a fair few episodes that fell flat. But once it got going after season 2 it was just just sublime. There's been nothing like it before or since, it's the very pinnacle of 1990's American popular culture to me, an absolutely staggering achievement. They had everything - a huge number of amazing characters, killer gags and one-liners, great stories, and it's just about the best example of "brevity is the soul of wit" than I can think of (excluding my own long boring posts on here, which function in much the same way for entirely different reasons)

However I think that Homer's character got worse and worse. They took all his humanity and all his pathos and made him more and more stupid, more and more idiotic, until it was impossible to either like him, sympathise with him or even believe in the realness of him. He became a boorish crude caricature with nothing to say. It meant they could write jokes about being dumb, and laughing at someone for being dumb, whereas with say Lisa you had a character there who could articulate intelligent and profound ideas she ended up being totally overlooked so they can have "Homer raped by a Panda" or "Homer goes to Japan and walks through the paper doors" etc it's fucking terrible what they did.



Shippou-Sensei said:


> i think the first peak was somewhere around season 7 it remaind ok untill around season 14 after that it was really kinda rocky and around season 20 i really did think it was maybe time to call it all a day but since then they have pulled it back from the edge and i really think the last few seasons have been decent



I feel like a Trotksyite, sat down with the comrades trying to work out the exact date the Soviet Union and the revolution was betrayed. 

I'm sorry but I just don't see it. God knows I've tried, with the best will in the world, to find these episodes funny but I just can't. They're fucking dross. It's just about the worst thing on the TV. Pretty much everything after about season 8-9 that sort of time is god-awful going through the motions crap. I can't watch more than 5 minutes of it even if I force myself. The characters are empty shells, devoid of any pathos whatsoever. The storylines are derivative and stupid (which is understandable for a show that's been on the air forever, but still) and all the killer gags sound like a second rate Family Guy once you get rid of the characterisation that acted as the foundation. Infact I'm pretty sure a big part of the shows decline is that they've been competing with shows like Family Guy on their terms, fighting for their audience, because when I watch it now it just seems like the gags that used to have me in stitches are like Family Guy leftovers.

For instance Mr Burns character rarely features these days. Apparently Harry Shearer has had serious problems with the quality of the show and is less involved than he used to be - although that won't let them stop doing the show don't think Shearer is irreplacable. I loved the fact that in the post-class neo-liberal 1990's we had this old fashioned portrayal of a heartless victorian capitalist on a hit American TV show. That's quite rare really, I can think of only The Simpsons and Roseanne when it comes to big smash hit TV shows which had any trace of class politics in them. There's a line from one of the early episodes when Burns has lost the election because of the dinner at the Simpsons house, where as he's leaving he says to Smithers:

"Smithers, just think - this anonymous clan of slack jawed troglodytes has just cost me the election, and yet, if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you"

Not only is the use of language fantastic for what was supposedly a toilet humour cartoon show, but there's real biting political satire at work there too. You just don't get that in the later episodes, when they try being political in later episodes they lay it on thick and it becomes cheesy establishment liberal "hurr hurr lets laugh at the dumb republicans" kind of thing and that's not what I like.

For example in the same episode (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish, Season 2) Burns does a campaign commercial to explain why that fish with 3 eyes has nothing to do with nuclear radiation. He gets up and goes to explain how an Elephant (placed in the background) got it's a long trunk by asking an actor dressed as Charles Darwin to explain evolution. That works on two subtle levels 1) it's a bit of a dig at more Christian Republicans, who are hostile to the very concept of evolution, by saying that "you'd only believe in evolution if you could use it as a way to excuse big business polluting the environment" and 2) the Elephant is the symbol of the Republican party, so it's a way for them to demonstrate Burns' clear political affiliation without being too over the top. And this all takes place in a what, 20-30 second little segment of a much larger show?

Compare it to the recent attempts at political satire they pump out and you'll see there's a world of difference:



or



Obvious. Crass. Partisan. Absolutely no subtlety at all.



DexterTCN said:


> So why are you in this thread?  Just to stop people having fun?



It's all part of my Zionist agenda to sow disharmony into the ranks of the working class. Well spotted.


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## DotCommunist (Nov 21, 2013)

> I feel like a Trotksyite



this was a quote uttered by Homer during that fantastic episode 'Homer vs Uncle Joe'


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## Delroy Booth (Nov 21, 2013)

DotCommunist said:


> this was a quote uttered by Homer during that fantastic episode 'Homer vs Uncle Joe'



I wish I could find a better version of this picture because I'd seriously consider changing my avatar






"I told him that picture would come back to haunt him"


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## prunus (Nov 21, 2013)

Beesareonthewhatnow?


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## Stigmata (Nov 21, 2013)

"This is just your memory... I can't give you any new information"


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## eatmorecheese (Nov 21, 2013)

"Oh my God, the dead are rising from their graves and voting Republican!"


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## billy_bob (Nov 21, 2013)

g force said:


> Personal favourite is Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'."



He's probably my favourite character.

"Marge, there's the truth [frowning, shaking head]...and there's the TRUTH [grinning and nodding furiously]"

*Hutz:* And so, ladies and gentleman of the jury, I rest my case. 
*Judge:* Mr. Hutz, do you know that you're not wearing any pants? 
*Hutz:* D'oh! I move for a bad court thingy. 
*Judge:* You mean a mistrial? 
*Hutz:* Right! That's why you're the judge and I'm the...law-talking guy. 
*Judge:* You mean the lawyer? 
*Hutz:* Right.


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## Ax^ (Nov 21, 2013)




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## neonwilderness (Nov 21, 2013)

Homer: Uh... you have any sugar around here?
Hank Scorpio: Sugar? Sure.
Hank Scorpio: There you go. Sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?
Homer: Uh... I... no.


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## Ax^ (Nov 21, 2013)




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## Delroy Booth (Nov 21, 2013)

Marge: "But Grandpa there's only 49 stars on that flag"

Grandpa: "I'll be deep in the cold cold ground before I recognise Missouri"


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## toph (Nov 21, 2013)

Delroy Booth said:


> Marge: "But Grandpa there's only 49 stars on that flag"
> 
> Grandpa: "I'll be deep in the cold cold ground before I recognise Missouri"



Of course he pronounced it different. Sad thing is I remember all the quotes in this thread.


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## Zapp Brannigan (Nov 21, 2013)

No-one who speaks German can be all evil...


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## xes (Nov 21, 2013)

http://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/the-official-simpsons-quote-thread.46482/
*ahem*


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## smmudge (Nov 22, 2013)




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## Kuso (Nov 22, 2013)

Homer and the kids being chased by several rhino from the zoo.  "Don't worry kids, I know what to do" Turns, points and shouts "JUMANGI!"


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## Delroy Booth (Nov 22, 2013)




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## Mumbles274 (Nov 22, 2013)




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## spacemonkey (Nov 22, 2013)

Delroy Booth said:


> Totally disagree with this, I really like seasons 1-5. First season was a bit hit and miss, it had moments of unbelievable intelligence and subtlety but also had a fair few episodes that fell flat. But once it got going after season 2 it was just just sublime. There's been nothing like it before or since, it's the very pinnacle of 1990's American popular culture to me, an absolutely staggering achievement. They had everything - a huge number of amazing characters, killer gags and one-liners, great stories, and it's just about the best example of "brevity is the soul of wit" than I can think of (excluding my own long boring posts on here, which function in much the same way for entirely different reasons)
> 
> However I think that Homer's character got worse and worse. They took all his humanity and all his pathos and made him more and more stupid, more and more idiotic, until it was impossible to either like him, sympathise with him or even believe in the realness of him. He became a boorish crude caricature with nothing to say. It meant they could write jokes about being dumb, and laughing at someone for being dumb, whereas with say Lisa you had a character there who could articulate intelligent and profound ideas she ended up being totally overlooked so they can have "Homer raped by a Panda" or "Homer goes to Japan and walks through the paper doors" etc it's fucking terrible what they did.
> 
> ...




This post is a work of genius. 

*applauds*


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## spacemonkey (Nov 22, 2013)




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## spacemonkey (Nov 22, 2013)

"Until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange"







"You mean there's a better way?"


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## emanymton (Nov 22, 2013)

God how Phil Hartman was missed.


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## discokermit (Nov 22, 2013)

chop chop. dig dig.


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## DexterTCN (Nov 22, 2013)

Throbbing Angel said:


> Hey Hey
> 
> I know there are probably far too many to make a definitive list/top/10/whatever....but, we all have favourites.
> 
> ...



Just watched that episode, it's brilliant.


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## Doctor Carrot (Nov 22, 2013)

There's a bit in Dumbell Indemnity where Moe's ordering flowers over the phone for his girlfriend:

Moe: And I want to put something nice on the card, like, um- - Uh, "Renee, my treasure"
Barney: (Pissing himself laughing)
Moe:  Hey, shut up, or I'll ram a stool down your throat! 
Uh, no. No, no. I don't want that on the card. 
Well, let me hear how it sounds. 
Nah, nah, take it out. Take it out.


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## Barking_Mad (Nov 23, 2013)

By far my favourite episode is Cape Feare. It has some of the finest sight gags, and this classic scene where the final line is so brilliantly delivered and animated. 



> Agent [to Homer]: Tell you what, sir. From now on, you'll be, uh, Homer Thompson at Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit, hmm? When I say,"Hello, Mr. Thompson," you'll say, "Hi."
> Homer: Check.
> Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
> Homer: (stares blankly)
> ...


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## emanymton (Nov 23, 2013)

Barking_Mad said:


> By far my favourite episode is Cape Feare. It has some of the finest sight gags, and this classic scene where the final line is so brilliantly delivered and animated.


Including the sideshow bob standing on a rake gag, which manages to go from funny to not funny to annoying to hilarious.


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## joustmaster (Nov 23, 2013)

Remember when I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive?


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## jugularvein (Nov 23, 2013)




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## rover07 (Nov 23, 2013)

Wise words.


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## Ax^ (Nov 24, 2013)




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## joustmaster (Nov 25, 2013)




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## Ax^ (Nov 25, 2013)




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## TheGreatSage200 (Nov 26, 2013)




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## joustmaster (Nov 27, 2013)

This is the room with electricity. 
 But it has too much electricity. 
 So, I don't know, you might want to wear a hat


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## Monkeygrinder's Organ (Nov 27, 2013)

Delroy Booth said:


> For instance Mr Burns character rarely features these days. Apparently Harry Shearer has had serious problems with the quality of the show and is less involved than he used to be - although that won't let them stop doing the show don't think Shearer is irreplacable. I loved the fact that in the post-class neo-liberal 1990's we had this old fashioned portrayal of a heartless victorian capitalist on a hit American TV show. That's quite rare really, I can think of only The Simpsons and Roseanne when it comes to big smash hit TV shows which had any trace of class politics in them.


 
'Do I dare live out the American Dream? Do I dare kill my boss?'




(At least I think that's from the Simpsons).


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## spacemonkey (Nov 27, 2013)

Monkeygrinder's Organ said:


> 'Do I dare live out the American Dream? Do I dare kill my boss?'
> 
> 
> 
> ...



"Have the Rolling Stones killed"


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## spacemonkey (Nov 27, 2013)

Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts


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## la ressistance (Dec 3, 2013)

The cartridge family episode where homer gets a gun isn't shown enough.

The bit where homers shooting the basketball off the roof and asks Lisa if she wants him to get the cat down now.


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## Boppity (Dec 7, 2013)

I'd never heard the word enbiggens before I came to Springfield.

I don't know why, it's a perfectly cromulent word.

And

She called me a PC thug!

I've been called a greasy thug too, and it never stops hurting. So here's what we're gonna do, grease ourselves up real good and trash that place with a baseball bat!


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## Ax^ (Dec 8, 2013)




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## jjuice (Dec 8, 2013)

'you're the apple of the corner of my eye'


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## jjuice (Dec 8, 2013)

alcohol, the cause of and the solution to all of my problems'  

Homer


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## neonwilderness (Dec 8, 2013)

Hello Mr Thompson


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## RedDragon (Dec 8, 2013)




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## joustmaster (Dec 8, 2013)

the last bit, from 1:30


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## Doctor Carrot (Feb 25, 2014)

Haha I just heard one of my most favourite quotes:

Homer: 'Son, coin collecting is a lot like life: It stopped being fun a long time ago.'


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## cypher79 (Feb 25, 2014)

Homer - "if somethings too hard to do, then its not worth doing"


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## MellySingsDoom (Feb 25, 2014)

Kent Brockman: "This just in - go to hell!"


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## joustmaster (Feb 25, 2014)




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## joustmaster (Feb 25, 2014)

Shave those sideburns


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## Eggby (Feb 26, 2014)

Hank Scorpio : "Hey Homer, did you ever see a guy say goodbye to a shoe?!"
Homer : "Yes - once."

A robot from Itchy and Scratchy Land shouting "Why was I programmed to feel pain?" as he explodes...

Mr Burns hopefully saying "A spoonful of slurry will cure what ails ya!" to a horrified Lisa...plus many more


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## blairsh (Feb 22, 2015)

Bart: "I didn't  think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows"


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## Idris2002 (Feb 22, 2015)

This is where I saw the leprechaun. He tells me to burn things.


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## Crispy (Feb 22, 2015)

This thread is thick with copyright takedowns


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## DotCommunist (Feb 24, 2015)

here is a really dark fan theory:




> *Since 1993, The Simpsons has not taken place in the real world, but in the deteriorating mind of a vegetative Homer Simpson.*
> 
> Reddit user Hardtopickname formulated his theory from a throwaway line in the classic Season Four episode "Homer The Heretic," which aired on October 8, 1992. The story ends with Homer talking to God in a dream sequence. When Homer asks God about the meaning of life, the Supreme Being tells him that he'll find out when he dies. When Homer complains that he can't wait that long, God responds, "You can't wait _six months_?"
> 
> ...


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## billy_bob (Feb 24, 2015)

For some reason that reminded me of another quote:

_Very few cartoons go out live, Homer, it puts a terrible strain on the animators' wrists._


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## mwgdrwg (Feb 24, 2015)

I hope I didn't brain my damage


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## gareth taylor (Feb 25, 2015)

joustmaster said:


> This is the room with electricity.
> But it has too much electricity.
> So, I don't know, you might want to wear a hat


 classic !


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