caption competition: archive This motley collection, tragically, represents the best you lot could come up with in two years!

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...and here's the best so far - and no, we can't make sense of half of them either: I aint nothing but a sound byte, servin mega-corporations all the time'....an if u aint got money.. then u aint no friiiend of mine' kris pate 'CHERRIE..... Could you get me a new G-String.' Leanne Cook, [email protected] 'What the hell did you say this was?' [email protected] ''cos I, i wannnaaa beeeeee Anaarrkeeeeee' [email protected] 'All the dimpled chads between here and here are for Gore'. [email protected] 'and later, after the photos and the soundbite "No no Peter, what I actually said was that no one can work a FENDER like you"...' [email protected] 'Laboured Tune' [email protected] 'I say Colonel, this lettuce is good!' [email protected] 'YEAAAHHH! I am quite coool. Boof myster!' sMaRtIe GiRl [email protected] 'i walk like a woman, but talk like a man, Lola .. L O L A, loholaaaaa' [email protected] 'Well, that's one louder than ten, innit?' [email protected] 'poogy woogy ploby, woby sbloby doo, dopoo gooly woo, joby jooby yobby hoola hoolee hoo, foogy fudgy dooola phonee woonee too,poogy woogy ploby, woby sbloby doo, dopoo gooly woo, joby jooby yobby hoola hoolee hoo, foogy fudgy dooola phonee woonee too. Fuck me. I'm good' Tim [email protected] 'NO STAIRWAY !!!' Whisky [email protected] 'i walk like a woman, but talk like a man, Lola .. L O L A, loholaaaaa' [email protected] Never thought it would be soooo easy to use my thumb with this.. coooool!! Kanskje Snuppa [email protected] 'Blair's peace-a-chord was as shaky as usual' (ouch! -ed) Dave 'Rumblefish' Colbran [email protected] 'Pardon me if I hit the wrong note, I'm just not used to wrapping my fingers around anything this wide...' Michelle [email protected] 'Okay, very funny but own up whoever put super glue on my guitar.' Jim [email protected] 'To relax I crank out a few Ted Nugent power chords and think of my missiles raining down on Slobba, Saddam and any other punk ass motherfucker who fails to share my caring, inclusive vision.' Mick Bowe [email protected] (**editor's choice so far!) 'Wow, it really does look like a chicken!' Zac Hilbert. [email protected] 'Since Ron's resignation, Tony hadn't wanted to go busking on the Common.' Tim Kemp 'Here's one I wrote while I was cold, hungry and dirty under Waterloo Bridge.' Ravi Vadgama 'my credibility's shot I'm lettin' Gordon call the shots I'm outta ideas and out news I guess I'll just do what Major would do I'm singin' the New Labour blues!' Peter MacDonald 'I can't play the G-string because of where it's been. The E and the C are drugs. The F is a dirty letter and D and A, put together, are the initials of my nick-name: Duck's Arse.' Sean Linehan 'Tony was keen to display his newly aquired guitar skills. He revealed that he doesn't need to practise very often, as he's been fingering the country for the past few months.' [email protected] 'New Labour, New Anthem - anybody know the chords for "All Right Now"?' Nick Leverton 'Tony barely improvises on the old J Major Scale' [email protected] 'My guitar is like my party. I play the strings and they sing my tune!' [email protected] 'the working class can kiss my arse - I've got the foreman's job at last' - sung along to a very popular melody [email protected] 'A PM in need's a PM indeed' (this one needs psychological help) 'A PM on weed is better!' (he sure as hell looks like he is) [email protected] 'Man, at the next Labour party conference I'm playing some Skynyrd. FREEBIRD!!!' The Lobster [email protected] 'What do you mean I orchestrated the Labour conference. I was only jammin' with my friend Peter....' Doug Craib [email protected] 'Mama, mama, dem hold papa, say dey charge 'im wi' smoke ganga ...' [email protected] 'This will stop Gordon playing his bloody bagpipes every night!' [email protected] 'Tony found himself obsessed with playing The Blues ever since he realised that Cherie was, in fact, the love-child of The Joker and the Cheshire Cat.' Laura the mod [email protected] 'I just ramp the FX up and run it into my sampler until I blend in the vocals at final mixdown, now where did I put that Eurovision application form?' [email protected] 'After some fine tuning from his friend Peter, Tony was sounding great.' [email protected] Want more? View the John Major Caption Archive

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