Welcome to the archive These are the best efforts we got. Some aren't that bad either...

"Oh Maggie I wished I'd never seen you faaace !!!" Val [email protected] "Look at my new toy Norma !!!" Adam Griffiths [email protected] "Radiant John Major accepts the Adam Smith Institute Peace Prize on behalf of ex-Presidant Suharto, who has had to stay home to spend more time with his money." tim [email protected] I've been told this is the way Bill Clinton gets interest from women in his office. Heather MacD. [email protected] "John Major begins training for his new position as Trafalgar Square's Pigeon Control Officer." Deacon Maccubbin [email protected] "Yes Maggie, today I am a man!" Bill Bergren [email protected] "No draft dodging world leaders here!" David Pincus [email protected] "OK,who stole my pants?" [email protected] "die, hanson, die!!!!!!! " chris alexander ralex@juno "If you want a job done right, you just have to do it yourself.Which way is Iraq anyway?" Linda Bartoli [email protected] "I bet that if I hold this gun long enough some knob will use the pic for a caption competition" [email protected] "So President Yeltsin said to me, "John, when those left-wingers barricade themselves inside your Parliament building you gotta do what I did -- get yourself some damn fine guns and tanks. Like this one: AK-47, thirty-round clip, single-shot or full-auto, even a conscript can't go wrong. It's the dog's bollocks. To you, old son, a hundred dollars apiece. Hard currency, no questions asked." I was not inconsiderably impressed. We're going back for the T-80s this very weekend, as soon as Norma can find her cheque book" Rich Woods [email protected] "Don't you dare take one more step towards my house Tony !" [email protected] "If I hear the phrase "Tory wanker" *one* *more* *time*..". T. S. Woodward [email protected] "For the last time, I do NOT sound like Mr. Bean!" Nate Patrin [email protected] "Well, anyone got a better ideas? I've run out of political creativity" [email protected] "Norma, I said "No more peas!" Adam Johnson [email protected] "one last time. Please get off my lawn." Shannon Harkins [email protected] "How do you play this thing?" Jurgens [email protected] John Major shows Norma his new Weapon colin gunn [email protected] "Must....kill....Tony...." e-mail [email protected] "You lookin at ME? Oh dear....." Duncan Hall [email protected] "Are we having this TV debate or what?" Ian Stewart [email protected] " Can I hit a Spice Girl with this?" . john smith [email protected] "I AM tougher than Maggie............ Really"! Dan Novak [email protected] "Any third world countries out there wanna buy a gun?" Stew e-mail [email protected] "My hands are NOT brandishing an assault rifle - that's a gross distortion of the facts by the left-wing BBC. In fact, and in not inconsiderable real terms, it is a fluffy, privatised bunny rabbit." Nick Mailer [email protected] "C'mon, it's a great gift!" The John Major Assault Rifle tm. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. George Evans [email protected] "THIS WILL get unemployment Down!" the hooded claw. [email protected] "PM John Major is seen here sporting the latest in spring clothing accesories. With his semi- automatic he is sure to make waves whether he's debating a bill, of just walking down the street." Justin Ferguson [email protected] "Vote Conservative, and you too can live in the free world!" Keira Dempsey [email protected] "This is better! Why bother with the 'shop a benefit cheat' phoneline when we can have the much more fun 'shoot a benefit cheat' phoneline instead." Dave [email protected] Madame Speaker, if the honourable leader of the opposition wishes to step outside for a free and frank exchange of views, I'm sure that we can settle this disagreement without further delay... [email protected] ..and introducing new legislation designed to assist honest roadbuilders in gently persuading protestors to move along. Dave Wright. [email protected] "Don't call me grey.Alright." [email protected] Here's Johnny! [email protected] "trust me, i'm a politician, aaaahhh ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa heh heh heh (dribble)" martin frost [email protected] So what end should i shove up my arse? Neill Hope [email protected] Bastards. If you want me out of No.10 you'll have to bring me out in a box. Yeeehah! (as heard on 2nd MAY 1997) stew [email protected] The new Chelsea marksman has a familiar look about him, what do you think Trevor ? Dave "Rumblefish" Colbran [email protected] Norma ... Daddy's Home. Mike [email protected] "This'll secure the majority!!!" [email protected] "So if we can't sell landmines any more how about these?" from:Mike [email protected] "If I not gonna have a job in the summer - perhaps I could start up a new cadets group - Ken, Michael, Douglas... d'you wanna be in my new club?" [email protected] "New age travellers. Not in this age. Not in any age..." Steve [email protected] >> Now let me at Tony Blair!

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