punch archive

more slapees back nominations: your votes weird ones fuckwits nominate!

The Queen Mother For too long, this fat, mad old tart has sponged off our once mighty nation. She seems to believe that by the feebly wave of her wissened hands she can make the world a brighter place. WELL MUMSIE, THE WORLD JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. It's time you just faced facts and let the reaper have his day and peg it. Smack her for me, that mad, frumpy, hat wearing, fish- bone chocking, sponging, overpaid, overfed, over lived, senile old bag. simmoi@usa.net Pooh bear he always takes the fucking spot light away from tigger. All he ever does is whine and bitch about how much he wants his fucking honey, but the god damn bear is too stupid to ever realize that it's always where he left it. Tigger should get his own show. Stephanie walabey@bellatlantic.net Anthea Turner Just when we thought we'd seen the last of the obnoxious little scrubber with the 'butter would'nt melt' smile and whining, annoying voice. She's back in the news again for running off with some geezer who likes posing on tractors. Let's hope they fuck off to Australia on his Massey Ferguson ! Ian S (smithi3@boat.bt.com) Chris Evans The Egotistic ginger prat. The epitomy of self opionated Wankers. Ruined a perfectly good radio station. The best reason of all:- I just dont like him. sudall@ford.com Meatloaf because he's a fat tub'o'lard and he tries to hard to be a chick magnet pmbur4@student.monash.edu.au The Earl Spencer For selling tickets to his sisters' grave. How disgusting!!! enchtdcircle@earthlink.net Homophobics What a set of tits! The sooner they realise that people are people the better. Folks shouldn't be juged by what bus they get on! dath@rocketmail.com Vanilla Because they can't sing and they forget to use their microphones. They also can't chose the right foundation to wear. Louise Downie/john.downie.mail@virgin.uk Marilyn Manson He's influencing teenagers today to be NASTY and have sex with chickens. Carley/osheaem@bellsouth.net paul daniels because his bloody fucking face says PUNCH ME jari@globalnet.co.uk Everyone who uses a mobile phone!!!! They do it to look as though they are someone important. And what's all that about the freedom it gives you? What bloody freedom; if anybody can pester you, unbidden, at any time they please. then you don't seem very free to me! And the cost of calls and 'contracts'! Get a radio! gnimmelf@nildram.co.uk Imelda Marcos For taking the shoes off the feet of Filipino children, hanging the her ill gotten diamonds on a chandelier, for disturbing a golden Buddha's peaceful repose, for exchanging the Philippine's future into a heap of smokymountains for scavenging children, for demoting the Philippines from a progressive country in the 50's into an economy behind Taiwan and Korea, and for letting the frozen corpse of her husband to still haunt the lives of families who lost relatives under Martial law and for continuing not to take responsibility for any of the above. enonat@lightspeed.net POSTMAN "fucking" PAT This guy has been off tv for ages. Yet the little fucker is outside every supermarket I go to. He give totally the wrong impression of postmen too. Would you be singing along in your red van at 7:30 in the morning totally hung over? I dont think so! Rip the foam out of the little fucker. Then maybe he will just fuck off! dath@rocketmail.com *not* Andrew Lloyd-Webber I think your slap-up job on him actually makes him look less hideous. A better choice of slapped face would be the same one he unfortunately owns. Oh yes, and what a surprise if he isn't already writing "Diana - the Musical". Tosspot. J.Nash@mdx.ac.uk Diego Maradonna Any motherfucker that uses his hands to send England away from a world cup while claiming it was God is on my shitlist. Sorry it took me so long to voice my opinion about that drug sniffing bastard. mgp6681@is.nyu.edu The sun from teletubbies I can just about handle poe , tinky winky , dipsy and laa laa but when the fucking sun decides to pop up and start his girlie giggling it makes me want to through the TV out the window . neiol.turton@virgin.net The following Site... I would like to nominate the assholes who run the following website at http://www.clark.net/pub/thomjeff/ These narrowminded tossers believe they actually have a cure for Homosexuals!!!! Fucking stupid twats, emailbomb the bastards senseless and give them a bloody good slap. psimira@dial.pipex.com Pauline Hanson Because Racism sucks, even here in Australia finster@ozemail.com.au Barney the Dinosaur I don't know if this horror has reached its maw of darkness across the Atlantic yet, but I think your American guests will agree--this is an Evil which must be hit repeatedly!!!!!!!! Dances With Chickens/aasmith@lclark.edu Ulrika Jonsson How much do I hate Ulrika Jonsson? Let me count the ways.. For one thing, she's everything the worst kind of man thinks Scandinavian women ought to be like: blonde, bland, blank, bright enough not to disgrace you at parties, but with a total sense-of-humour bypass that means she has no idea when she's being condescended to. And she is, all the time - the biggest joke at her expense being to give her a show of her own. Shooting Stars? Yes, please - and quickly! ilse@yahoo.dk Cilla Black There's two reasons. One, it's that stupid accent, which might have been genuine once, but fucking ain't any more. Blind date? I'll give her a blind date with me fist. And two, that fucking accent is getting on my tits. I'll give her a big surprise surprise with another twat round the chops. She's gorra lorra nerve! Right?!! barry.lee-potter@virgin.net MICHEAL BARRYMORE He is nothing but a shirtlifting,backdoor bandit,cadburys culdesac burglar,a chutney ferret sniffer and would take any oppurtunitie to bend over one of his elderly contestants backstage on "STRIKE IT RICH" sheila.lloyd@virgin.net Sara Palmer Tomkison Stuck up cow suddenly thinks shes a TV Personality. Her voice on the media has started to make me hope I go deaf. dave_bolsdon@hotmail.com Carol Vorderman She ruins otherwise reasonable programmes, with her endless droning about how clever she is. At school, she would have been the one who, before exams goes around saying she hasn't revised at all, and then gets full marks. arthur.bullard@usa.net the top execs of NorthWest Airlines They asked employees to take a pay cut ("concession") for 3 years, lest they go bankrupt, then, when they're doing better financially than they've ever done, they have the NERVE to cut employees, dick around with contract negotiations, hinting that they need money for other areas of operation, cut back on service, maintain the oldest fleet in the top 7 airlines, and then, the top 3 execs received an $85 million bonus in 1996!!! Bastards!!! Get me a punchin' bag! Barb/javafox@ix.netcom.com Police patrolling Headwaters protest Anybody who rubs pepper spray into the eyes of peacefull quiet protesters working towards the health of the earth should be given a beating. If only I had the chance, I might just make very very good use of a can of pepper spray and a cotten swab. After all they didn't ban pepper spray, so why shouldn't us peacefull citizens be alotted a can or two for the good of the soceiety becahontas@aol.com Most Homies on the Planet The BS attitude of 'smack my bitch' has gone a little too far. This whole baggy jeans, Hilfiger sporting group of Westside Connection wannabes should have died ICE AGES ago%21 Oh yeah, it%27s real cool to think someone rules because they have the biggest fist. As much as I disagree with violence, this cyber-slap is needed. Everyone is equal, regardless of race, size, strength, and that fucking word POPULARITY. rachelle50@hotmail.com David Beckham I'd only use brylcream for one thing and thats rubbing it into Posh Spice's breasts. Get a life you Ferguson fucking cockney rebel. Gambit 20004295@nene.ac.uk President Suharto of Indonesia Great country, great people. Sorry to be a bit serious, but could we have a slap in rememberance of all those who have died fighting for freedom in East Timor, Irian Jaya, Sumatra, Kalimantan, Nussa Tengara, The Moluccas, Sulawesi.... corin.stuart@ucl.ac.uk Yanks Learn the fucking language! dath@rocketmail.com Saddam Hussein Despite the increasingly disturbing jingoistic sabre-rattling and chest thumping that this pisspot despot utilizes to stymie us here in the big bad United States, I do not believe that another conflict is mandated. HOWEVER, I would be more than thrilled to clout the weasel once or thrice in order to vent a little xenophobic spleen in a harmless fashion! Mollena Williams - xmwill@wellsfargo.com Zoe Ball Her pathetic attempts at looking pretty but resembling a mangled hamster after spending too long in a tape player. WHY, is she on our screens, what are the BBC trying to prove?? British Talent gets put down with her plasticy-fake ugly face and her greasy locks. GET OFF MY T.V SCREEN. Your just sponging off your DAD. The ginger bread girl. hmclarty@netcomuk.co.uk Peter Mandelson This wanker wasn't voted back in to the cabinet thank god, but still deserves a bloody good smacking. He is a slimey sleezeball who couldn't give a shit about politics or policies, just about getting Labour elected thanks to his spin-doctering. abeckett@mcmail.com Clive Aslet editor of 'Country Life'. Ferret-faced champion of blood sports and unmitigated champion of the establishment. (I also have it on good authority he is a closet-case but is outwardly anti-homosexual) Surprised..? blanca@sympatico.ca you should be slapped. Don't put Hanson on the list you bullshitters rodda@dove.net.au ellen degeneres she pisses me off. I don't mind her coming out of the closet, but her entire show is based on that she is gay! Back down already! She isn't funny anymore!!! enno2@ix.netcom.com The Macromedia Crew and their Moms I am sick and tired of chasing that goddamned thing around with my mouse only to have to read credits for what seems like hours before I see what I came to the website to see. I'm not doing it again no matter what! cheshirepuss@msn.com BC Deputy Premier Dan Miller (BC NDP) Because he is forcing gambling expansion down the throats of communities which don't want it (slot machines, "destination" casinos where "destination" is a euphemism/synonym for "Las Vegas style")!! Arnold_Abramson@bc.sympatico.ca DAILY MAIL READERS NEO NAZI FASCIST SCUM! DON'T GIVE IN TO THE INDOCTRINATION, BURN THESE TORY CRETINS IN THEIR BEDS! BILLY.ZAIDI@VIRIN.NET Steve Jobs He may be a Great Bullshitter,but aparrently he doesn't know crap about running a company the new ads don't appeal to the Masses. Hell most "Regular People" don't even know what an Apple Computer is.He immediately sold off all that stock Apple gave him. What kind of message is that? Let's slap him senseless ship his ass off and get a real CEO in place Jim Sullivan / duck9180@shasta.com Pauline Hanson An ignorant, bigotted, racist twit who is managing somehow to incite a great deal of racial intolerance and devisiveness in the Australian community. She has made us look totally stupid to our Asian neighbours and caused much distress to Asian and indigenous Australians who have had to suffer an increased level of harassment since she has been on the political stage. MinSin@bigpond.com All who helped with "You've been framed" Smack the fucking life out of them all! Espeacily that little fat bastard presenter! The one they call "Beadle". We dont need his shitty little sketches, we dont need his comments! We dont need him! All the writers need some serious shit punching out of them too! Smack them? Nail them to a door and pour hot lava onto them! Daz@rocketmail.com The person who suggested Pingu. Pingu is fucking God mate ! More Pingu, I say. How about a Pingu wank mag, showing the little fella doing wierd things. That would be smashing. pmd@sblack.com M-People cos' the woman who sings sounds like a goose when she sings and I get so pissed off when you hear them all over the telly and they're just homogenised house music that's made for middle aged people who want to like dance music but they can't. If you don't want to slap them can you also register my vote for that bloody Lighthouse Family cos' they really make my flesh crawl too. Jake.Fairhead@uk.uu.net Shane Ritchie If that fucking twat and his TV crew ever come to my house to do a soap powder advert, I'll give him more than a bloody slap!! psimira@dial.pipex.com The United States they're always making fun of Canadians. They're stupid mother fuckers. We don't end every sentence with "eh". Kirk/1475@eprhs.ednet.ns.ca Australians and New Zealanders The word is no. There's an "N" and an "O". No. One syllable. So what the hell is this "Noooyyyeeeww" shit? From all the U.S. of Fuckin' A. mm25808@navix.com The "Reverend" Jerry Falwell Because he's a racist, sexist, homophobic abuser that endlessly rants about "gays, faggots, niggers, whores and bitches" (in his own sanctimonious, self-righteous "clean" language, of course). The "Good Reverend's" teachings have inspired countless gay-bashings, violent acts against women, and other assorted hate crimes. Let him have it! He's been "asking for it" for over twenty years! Teresa Tutt tuttt@rpi.edu The damn fuckin annoying Hansons These kids are obviously a group of future Michael Jacksons. They sound, look, and more than likely act like fucking girls with tiny twigs and berries. Their music sucks, they can't sing about anything other than what some kindergarten sideshow freak wrote while learning how to read. They don't know 2 shits about love and life they haven't even lived more than ten years. They need a good ass whooping and beatdown, to understand life. Maybe then can they sing halfway decent songs. Or maybe they will just endup like Michael Jackson and molest little screwed up kids like themselves. Tamra MacKinnon/tamram@hotmail.com Howard Stern Aside from the fact that he's a sexist, homophobic racist who rants on about "gays, faggots, niggers, whores and bitches..." It would simply be marvelous to be able to do something, at least online, that I've wanted to do in real-life for a long time. Sophia Leland/victrix@goplay.com Robin Cook He is a selfish shit who dragged his wife through the tabloids just for some skirt. He is also a bloody hypocrite, who will carry on Tory style selling arms to anyone who will buy and making no more than bullshit noises about human rights. In a word: wanker. Brian Farrell hisbpf@leonis.nus.sg RUSH LIMBERGER (I mean Limbaugh) the hotheaded potbellied two-timing fanny smacking blubberbutt egodriven i.q.-less shiny pated horsefaced redeyed smelly Republican fascist with his head up his ass... (not like I'm a Democrat or anything, 'cause I'm not) c'mon, all he does is bellyache and rant like the ignorant whiner and the like. REAL people with REAL lives vent their negativity productively and make pages like your oh, so awesome Slap a Spice Girl game :) Stinker Boy (davidgonte@aol.com) Non-Manc Man Utd. Fans Well, where were you when Utd weren't winning the cups? Trudging up from London to Old Trafford every other Saturday to see them draw another match with some middle-rate club? I think not - you hadn't heard of them till they pulled the double. Get some fidelity about your support and get a life. And quit clogging up the M1 of a Saturday hm5431@bris.ac.uk The Queen mum Well, what does she actually do? Simply sucks money and energy from the state. Put her up and let me give her one (a good slapping that is) ranz@deepend.co.uk Elton John Where do I begin? Let the British show their appreciation for his kind tribute to a waste of space,expensive and pointless socialite. Lets knock his wig off.. Horsearse@hotmail.com Jack Straw For being the same person as Michael Howard, and for that silly commitment about never legalising or decriminalising dope. Enuff I think... jsw22@rl.ac.uk Everyone who bought 'Candle in the Wind' They need a good belting, simply because they are hipocrates. These are the same people who bought up 'The Sun'& 'The Mirror' by the fucking arm load to see what colour shoes 'Englands so-called rose' was wearing that day. And I bet they never gave a penny to charity B4 the Shit hit the fan, or more to the point,the Merc hit the wall. BUYING THIS RECORD IS NOT AN ACT OF GRIEF OR RESPECT, BUT AN ADMITION OF GUILT!! SLAP ALL OF 'EM!! While we're on the subject, the paperazi have been slated, but WHERE IS THE BACKLASH ON DRINK-DRIVING/SPEEDING/DANGEROUS DRIVING/NOT WEARING A SEAT BELT!!! ranting@highhorse.uk.comm maria carey does she HAVE to shriek in every song!? tigger Cars with one person in Very obvious I know. But, they def need a good slapping liam.collins@econocom.be Mr Harrison-Mee Who you might ask? This bastard is the MD of Connex South Central, the most packed trains in the history of the universe. This bastard doesn't think that there is a problem and has decided to cut trains, to cut costs. Tosser, I have never been made so angry in my life. At the moment if the Driver breaks to hard, people go flying everywhere. I would hate to see what would happen if there was a crash (lets face it the rolling stock is none to good, due to massive under-investment). Stop paying the stockholders, make a service that we would be proud of, which would encourage more people to take the train, and reduce pollution fuck me it's not that hard to understand. liam.collins@econocom.be Dame Shirley Porter Because of her unspeakable activities in Westminster, her smugness and because she's had it coming for too long now. Steve 10170@aol.com Peter Stringfellow Oh come on -- that hair! That attitude! Those suits! Does one really need more of an excuse to twat a prize twat? martyn.gabel@carltontv.co.uk DALE WINTON It is a shame that this country now outlaws fire-arms, when there are still so many people that need shooting. sjones@interalpha.co.uk Ted Nugent He deserves more than a smacking- the world needs a "shoot a crossbow at Ted Nugent" site instead ....for the sake of all the massacred deer, buffalo, bear, etc. He and his Iron-John-on-PCP conservative macho redneck freak brigade should be shown that you CAN annhiliate something without actually killing it. Ethan Cruze/ Citizen5B@aol.com Jeremy Clarkson Every day is a bad hair and same-old-bad-jokes day. He has the worst dress and music sense imaginable and yet thinks hes a voice of the no-nonsense blokes of the country. His 'more cute than a pair of lace panties' type jokes have worn thinner than his curly perm. A sad old 'dad' who thinks he's a right geezer. mdarby@eleceng.ucl.ac.uk Phil Knight For owning Nike and oppressing workers all over Asia. This man could use a really good slapping. Dave McGee The Backstreet Boys they're a bunch of pussies potter@epix.net Aerosmith How old are these guys? Steven Tyler's lips must be swollen from an errant shell explosion in World War I. Anybody collecting social security should not be allowed to make music (This applies to the Rolling Stones, as well). I guess while I'm at it, I'd like to smack the hell out of the idiotic Gap exec that allowed Aerosmith to appear in the latest Gap commercial. Just when I thought I'd didn't have to put up with these overaged drunkards, this has to happen. WHY?!?!? Brian Hays/wbh1626@garnet.acns.fsu.edu Robin Cook cause nobody has realised he's an alien. rob/robert.johnson2@virgin.net Puff Daddy He's in every damn music video I see, and he hardly even does anything in them he doens't sing he just sits around and goes "uh huh" I'm sick of seeing him all the time. nad-man@postoffice.worldnet.att.net Amanda De Cadnet The Courtney Love wanna be her Can't she realize that in this world there can only be one gold dust woman1 And I'm not talking about Fleetwood Mac. When Courtney said go on and take every th ing but I guess she didn't meen Amanda take her identity..... thanx Natal Mephistophalies Claire Short As a friend to the island of Montserrat, I wish to expess my loathing for the treatment this last, largest outpost of the miserable British Empire. Shame! David B. Adolphus, dadolphu@burlcol.edu Rupert Murdoch This self-made man(?), as head of News Corp., wants to make sure everyone who has money to spend gets their news from his idiosyncratic and biased perspective. If there's a hell for idiots running large corporations, he's on his way! Smack him upside the head with at least one of every newspaper he owns! Bryan Kallenbach ks.center@mci2000.com HANSON you bunch of fucking long haired girls, horse licking arse whipping trout sniffing toss pots, and in truth i love the oldestone adam@demon (rest of address withheld) tie-dyed trance dancing facepainted scum there's fucking hundreds of them, clogging up Brixton every friday night in their peruvian tartan flares, with misappropriated symbols from irreconcilable belief systems daubed on their smug little faces in fluorescent paint (I'll yin yang you in a minute, sonny!). S'nothing wrong with dancing / clubbing / ecstasy per se,but why dress it up in a veneer of half-baked mysticism and Steve Hillage-influenced platitudes. All the girls look the same, all the boys look the same, it's full of opportunistic 70s leftovers who are now free to think that they were cool all along(fucking hippies) and people who think buddhism means smiling at coppers and giving some gurning speedfreak a neck rub while he's dancing. IT'S ALL SO FUCKING FRIENDLY!!!! Like the Alabama 3 said, don't you go to Goa! growler@dial.pipex.com THE THREE HANSON BROTHERS Because Lord, I wanna smack those three. If, in this world, three young, squeaking cousin It wannabes with pubescent, adolescent, non-functioning vocal boxes, can raise themselves to the top of the billboard charts, and be hailed the reincarnated Jackson Five, than I be damned. Snee@webtv.net kilroy smug orange skinness alex watson/bovinezoro@msn.com Prodigy Cos their new album opens with a song about "slapping your bitch around", which proves that however cool and 'on the edge' these boys are, they're also a bunch of misogynist, ignorant and naive wankers. Slap! Public schoolboy tossers! chumba@wamba.demon.co.uk Jeremy Beadle Any normal and sane person who catches sight of his smug face or is forced to endure his patronising drivel is very likely to suffer from spontaneous bouts of projectile vomiting. Game for a slapping? Oh let me hit him, please.... HelenFi@Websters.co.uk 911 For being the cheesiest bunch of wankers I've ever had the misfortune to see and hear on top of the pops. 'They've got their bodyshaking' they fucking will do once I've twatted them one. Bring back Bucks Fizz and The Carpenters and let Barry Manilow make 911 drown in one almighty sneeze. Emily+ Terry. Badgergirl@msn.com.uk Margaret Thatcher Branded the original spice girl by those favorite talentless airheads, "Mad Spice" is very long overdue for a good hard beating... Ben (pitchb@bri.st.com) Sir Teddy Taylor MP (Insane) After reading your disclaimer about "gays, faggots, niggers, whores and bitches", Sir Teddy has systematically abused all of the above. Well what else do expect from a Tory? Ben (pitchb@bri.st.com) Ronald McDonald the hamburgers are worse than dog food danone69@hotmail.com Esther Rantzen All pain no brain. 113050.316@compuserve.com Jeremy Paxman I've never forgiven him for his biased interview with the fascist hunt scum supporters and the anti-hunt heros, where it was perfectly obvious that he was pro-hunt and should never been allowed to do the interview in the first place. His irritating whine makes me want to puke too. I *KNOW* he has the redeeming factor of giving the Tories loads of grief, but then so does Blair and that doesn't make acceptable either. maureen@ant.co.uk PAUL DANIELS this sad old tosser delighted the nation by threatening to leave the country if labour won the election . so why is the wand welding wanker (not to mention the money grabbing miss magee) still loitering? slap him hard and i can think of somewhere to stick his wand. GJJEFFERY@HOTMAIL.COM Tim Henman Because he is a jumped up, public school boy prick, I don't know about a slap, but somebody should give him a good twat round the face with his tennis racquet - A far better use for it - Another toss British tennis player norcliffea@plcman.siemens.co.uk Jenny McCarthy She's a puppet made of implants and false eyelashes. She was specially designed for adolescent boys on a hormonal high. If I feel the need to stare at plastic and breasts I'll buy myself a Barbie doll. Every teenage chick. Naomi Campbell Hello, dear, when we NORMAL people make a commitment, we stick with it. I'm sure that we, had we signed a deal IN WRITING, you stupid fuck, with the charity PETA, would have thought, "Well, maybe I shouldn't wear fur anymore or eat meat." You're an adult, Naomi. I think it's time to grow up. Campbell Roth/SoupGirl@aol.com East 17 How could you take someone seriously if they can't even buy the right sized trousers and sing about horses running in purple rain, thunder and steam. They should be locked up in the house of love where they can , "bang twelve pills a night," and never be let out. CATMANTREE Ed's note: We're happy to let people voice their opinions. In fact we hope they'll be sending their opinions direct to you at: jon jjones@theonramp.net The Three Little Hanson Boys. What is wrong with this world if a thirteen year old boy has a higher pitched voice than any female alive. Get your hands off those pin dicks of yours and take those clamps off your nuts; and let the chickies have their estrogen back. zzzz/rippin@aol.com The "Rock Group" Hanson By now, you brits have been forced to listen to the least talented band on earth, Hanson. As an American citizen, I deeply apologize for Hanson being representatives of American music. If you've heard "MMMBop" or "Where's The Love", then you know what these kids need- ABUSE. LOTS AND LOTS OF ABUSE. ChainsawJesus@juno.com Gloria Hunniford Stupid bitch that looks down her nose at everyone just because somehow the BBC have adopted her and will continue to shove her and her unattractive family members in any old tosh celebration type binge programmes that they can pick out of their arses and whenever she's on some charity fund raiser programme you can tell she couldn't give a monkeys if the poor people just keeled over and died, I think we should strap her to a big piano and roll her down a hill into a busy four way junction, and who does her goddawful hairdo, some one get me a gun.... Espee Hampson/steve.hampson@virgin.net Zsa Zsa Gabor She's a self-centered, domineering, hateful, mistrusting, loud-mouthed, disrespecting, she- devil bitch of a pig. And she's a bad tipper! P.S. I think you provide the most useful service on the internet! Keep up the good work! Robert/ Droogy59@aol.com Pingu Can he talk properly? MURP-MURP is not in 'THE QUEENS LANGUAGE'. Also, do you believe penguins sleep in beds, have an igloo house and go riding on their sledge? Nononono. The most exciting thing a normal penguin gets to do is causing avalanches by farting, but with Pingu he seems to get into adventures, and sometimes PLAY THE BLOODY ACCORDION!? Hugh Jass@Upyabumturnleft.co.uk Bryan Adams He's a twat. neumark@compuserve.com The Clowns Who Created This Website As Western culture swirls down the toilet, people like you are right there at the flush lever. You degrade standards of conduct by encouraging the expression of the basest impulses within us. Your humour is sophomoric. No clever witticisms or parodies here; only puerile, self-indulgent mindlessness. Lou Bradizza/lbradizza@bbm.ca Camilla Parker Bowles She is a complete fucking minger, and doen't deserve to be Charlie's bit on the side Bhav The Energizer Bunny It keeps going and going and going and the commercials are soooo annoying. Who enjoys watching a pink bunny on their TV beating the drums? I want a chance to SLAP the hair off of that hare LISA W. mystica22@cyberspace.com Brad Pitt I bought the Playgirl with his nudie pics and was utterly disappointed!! HE HAS NO PENIS! I never drooled over him like some of you no-life college chickies and teeny boppers, but he was attractive enough to warrant my examining his member. BUT IT AIN'T THERE. I want no "shrinkage" excuses: THERE IS NO MR. PITT, JR! I just wanna slap him for pretending.. hjw The Millenium Dome commissioners Who wants this pile of shite to put a drain on the country's economy and the fact it'll be fucking useless one day after the year 2000???? No-one fucking normal,that's who.Give a big slap to these blinkered bastards.Give everyone a voucher to get free drinks instead of building this useless pile of shit. G.N.Mayne@ncl.ac.uk Elvis Where the f*** is that come back tour when we need it ? . Dan xna64@dial.pipex.com tinky winky reason:=we totally fancy dipsy and how come every glorious moment of his on tv tinky winky just has to take the limelight! and why does he carry around a handbag?stupid question. fanny@dial.pipex.com Bill Gates Internet Explorer! Enough Said! I'm trying to design a website here, Bill! Stop getting in my way!! smkenney@noc.rutgers.edu Pauline Hanson Thanks to a dumb fish and chips shop owner who couldn't even pass high school Australia is about to become the most openly racist, bigoted and backward country in the world. ptsang@net1.nw.com.au RONALD MCDONALD Ronald has literally devised a plan to devastate the lives of youngsters and ignorant adults who oblige him by falling victim to his marketing schemes to fatten the world into disgust ! Taunting kids with plastic toys and selling them a lifestyle of slow death equal to that of cigarettes! The corporation itself is guilty of theft by deception by donating huge funds to childrens organizations out of government pressure and then robbing them of their health with a BIG MAC! The sorry fact is that Ronald is no better than Joe Camel and should have his face smacked to remind him that there are still people who have enough blood circulating to whip his redheaded punked-out frizzy headed ass! See my site for Ronald Action! http://www.iglou.com/profile/view.cgi/maxbaud Shane Ritchie A COMPLETE TOOL. (See also Chris Evans, Danny Baker and that venomous little cretin off Wheel of Fortune etc). Nuff said. No, actually, I must elaborate. The piss-poor humour, heinous quiff, cheeky-chirpy 'personality' make this hyper c*** the last sod in the world you'd wanna be stuck in a lift with. SIMON DANIEL BEST sdb93@aber.ac.uk jaqques chirac as far as i'm concerned he can shove his fucking nuclear shit up his fat arse fuck detonating one in the pacific and killing all the wildlife try detonating one up his fucking arse and killing him paul may rock1y4@hotmail.com Madonna The has-been slot can't sing without a $100 bill in her butt. Strike the pose : here's a slap in your face ! fw14@calva.net Jilly Cooper so many people, so little slapping time... but really, Jilly Cooper is the absolute personification of the overpriviliged, over-lunched media slapper! talentless, braying bitch that she is, once saw her being interviewed after the launch of one of her execrable TV series. Asked what she had done to celebrate, she admitted that she'd got "a little squiffy, and on the way home I bought myself a new house! hee hee" most of us settle for a kebab, you tory heartland scumbag. Lee Fisher, growler@dial.pipex.com Hugh Grant A mumbling, wittering, dolt of a spasticated yuppy who wasn't even any good at being that! Brings the whole of British manhood into the crassest stereotype of disrepute possible. No wonder he has to pay! Jay / c/o edward.sheldon@ukonline.co.uk The Teletubbies Since the departure of Tinky Winky, they just aren't taking any risks, and have become stale, living of past glories and tubby custard. Fat tubs of shite that they are. stuartm@dcs.ed.ac.uk Want more? Click here or nominate you own slapee!

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