punch archive

more slapees back nominations: your votes weird ones fuckwits nominate!

Check out our huge, ever growing punch archive! Jeremy Clarkson Deserves a good slap and a kick in the bollocks while we're at it. Gives men a bad name with his habit of smarming his way across the telly insulting women and strutting through tv programmes with an inflated sense disgusting machismo. Quite obviously holds appalling views on minority groups (ie anyone who doesn't like cars or himself) and has a staggeringly inflated Chris Evans like ego. I can just imagine Clarkson pinching waitresses' arses and spitting on the homeless. Earns fucking oodles of money to which we contribute through the BBC's licence fee even though you might not watch any of his dull as ditchwater cockmaster programmes. Twat! Twat! Twat! Matt - Brighton fleaboy@bigfoot.com Duke of Edinburgh As if it isn't obvious! The royal twat is, in addition to being one of the richest scroungers in the world, an outright fuckin' racist. The only use he will be to anyone is the day he entertains the masses with his execution. xjm50@dial.pipex.com Fidel Castro That personification of political hypocrisy and self-seeking, totalitarian government, quasi-religious worship, born-again capitalism, and really, really bad facial hair. You simply must include this smug Santa Claus of fascist communism to your punch gallery. Because of his oppressive politics the Cuban people have undergone unspeakable persecution, sometimes for no more than being gay or wearing your hair long. So c'mon! Let us discipline this sickening bastard! matti.tirkkonen@kolumbus.fi Rosie O'Donnell She is in commercials about K-Mart and K- Mart sells guns,then she goes off and talks bad about gun owners.I think she should get some sense knocked in to her!!!! :0) Jeff Lege jefflege@computron.net jeffrey archer because he's a criminal who is still earning from his crimes and has the cheek to attempt to become lord mayor of london. what a shit!!! pw089@mdx.ac.uk Chris Tarrant Are you sure you want to take the money? Are you sure you want to gamble the £32,000? Do you want to phone a friend? NO I WANT TO SLAP YOU TARRANT! YOU CHEESY, MONEY WORSHIPPING, PATRONISING, CULTURE POLLUTING FUCKWIT! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DISSAPEAR INTO E-LIST CLEBRITY HELL WHERE YOU BELONG AND TAKE YOUR GOD AWFUL PROGRAM WITH YOU WHILE YOU'RE AT IT! SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP! matt - jenny@jenny.swinternet.co.uk David Trimble and Gerry Adams Let's not do a punch up thing as they have been doing that for fucking years up here but how about a kiss or a shag fest. Because the two fucking idiot politions seem to be fucking so determined to wreck one of the best things that the two countries have ever come up with! Dezel aj121@hotmail.com ex - premiere Glen Clark ex premiere Glen Clark almost single handedly brought our beautiful province of British Columbia to its financial knees , with small gambling houses, billion dollar ferrey follies , trading renovations for political influence ,deliberitly falsifying budgets and budget prodictions to secure an election .. unused power plants in india ... forcing companies out of business to make progress in native land claims ... and im sure there is more but i am short on time.... but if you call any one in my provence young or old , mental or sane im sure they would agree that GLEN CLARK needs a smak jay .. nava27@home.com Michael Jackson Because he wont let his natural self shine through, and has to pretend he is someone he is not. What sort of message is he giving the black population, particularly the youth, by changing the colour he was born with.... what sort of insecurities is he giving them? After all, he is a superstar, and influences alot of people...he deserves a smack, to knock some sense into him...thankyou. Dave dmoore@telstra.easymail.com.au Chris Tarrant Do you really need a reason - this guy still thinks he is living in the 'golden age of pirate radio' (have you ever heard his show... no? Don't bother - it really isn't worth the airtime. Line him and his wife up and just smack the hell out of him. oasis plain and simple. Even though they earn bucket loads of cash, they fail to look like 'proper popstars'. Where's all the dressing up and performance? Why do they insist on still shopping at burton's or topman for clothes? Makes no fuckin' sense. They should talk to the pet.shop.boy's stylists, the fuckin' lazy tramps! And as for performance. I've seen more of a show put on watching a plumber fix a new washer to a leaking tap. J.DAVIS@ADDED-VALUE.CO.UK All you sorry ass racist bitches It's because of you fuckheads our world is the piece of shit it is today. buttahpecan@hotmail.com Mike Harris The one single person in Canada that everyone is ashamed of. Why would we even call him a Canadian when he hurts people by cutting education and health care. For **** sakes Mike you deserve a cruel beating for cutting back what we are really proud of in Canada... OUR HEALTH CARE! .....lazy dick ass mofo... Sereina/sereina@geocities.com All Deadheads Get a fucking life! The sixties are over and done! Stop living in a time warp. Your favorite 9 fingered guitarist is pushing up daisies (Modern Flower Power?) After 20 albums of mostly self-indulgent, inconprehensible drivel, your demi-god Garcia bought the farm. So to all Deadheads,go there and graze until tour precious tie-dyed hearts are content. Patchouli oil and incense went out with the Strawberry Alarm Clock. Wake up, smell the real world and go to work at your nearest Burger King. eli71@bellsouth.net Lloyd Grossman His pathetic and terminally annoying accent which makes any self respecting human being want to pluck out his vocal cords. dougal69@yahoo.com Jerry Springer I'm so tired of seeing this asshole bring people to his show to supposedly help them and then laugh his ass off while they beat the shit out of each other.His ratings go up the more the punches fly.Let's smack him around for a while. scoop6698@yahoo.com The Artist The Artist is currently on a sueing rampage of unofficial web sites. This little punk thinks he's God, and should be punched several times by everyone who visits this page!!! gynot1@gte.net Ally McBeal Are we women supposed to relate to that? Is that really what the producers think we are all about? A bunch of whinning, annoying delicate flowers in distress because they can't choose between a guy or another...Ok maybe it happens sometimes, but I don't hallucinate because of that. Are guys supposed to like it for the special effects? I dunno but everytime I see her little puppy dog eyes, her pout (cuz she broke a nail or something), it just itches me to give her a nice knuckle sandwich..maybe a snack would preserve her from hallucinating. just a guess...By the way, love your site, nice to blow off a little steam sometimes without going to jail afterwards. Kudos! Mélina/moulina99@yahoo.com Boyzone For singing like they're going through puberty, and dancing like a bunch of chimpanzees covered in itching powder. paul.vinci@felixfly.freeserve.co.uk celine dion Please, its obvious isn't it? This woman is, quite simply, the Antichrist, she has come to Earth to destroy us all and unless we do something about it we wil be visited on Jan 1 2000 by her evil hordes of goblins and demons. I implore you with all my heart to make a stand to destroy this epitomy of evil, and, while you are at it, you could also give Peter Andre a good hefty kick in the balls (if he has any, of course) Please for the good of my soul and that of the entire human race END THIS TORTURE! alan smith Alex Salmond Why is this smug, bigoted political version of Ken Barlow being allowed to turn this most beautiful country (Scotland) into a retrogressive throwback reminiscent of Nazi Germany? Visitors don't want to hear about how horrible England was in the 13th century, and as for Westminster, don't forget Wales and the North of England gets shat on too. Lump him one, pleease, for Scotlands sake, and give Mel Gibson one for making the biggest load of historical bollocks. Haggis Barbie (the doll) If little kids keep fixating on looking perfect, then the amount of materialism in the world is never gonna get any better. You should be happy with how you look, no matter what. Besides, does anybody else find it annoying that her arms and legs don't even bend?? liome@hotmail.com Linda Tripp Exactly as stated by Mr. Lovegrove. This woman also had the nerve to say if Monica was her daughter she would have wanted someone to do the same thing to her as that evil monster did to Ms. Lewinsky. She is insane. Beyond that, she holds a post with the U.S. government that pays over $90,000 per year when most government employees are lucky to get half that much. She has been rewarded for being a rat and a phony and needs to be whacked around like a punching bag. Deidre/deidrek2@hotmail.com cell phone owners All of those fucking, dumb-ass morons, who talk on their phones while driving and fucking crashing into people. Not only should they get slapped, but they deserve a good ass-kicking. Dusty miticdu@mail.stoughton.k12.wi.us Multinationals & The "Civilised" World because their greed, quest for dollars and lies damn lies has expanded and swollen like a big fat cattle tick and poisoned the psyche of the average person to be make them belligerent, selfish, uncaring, souless, apathetic and eager to destroy our world. because we, in the civilised world, let them by not protesting too loudly scova@hotmail.com Sally Jesse Raphael & Jerry Springer I'm sick of seeing their self rightious, hypocritical, holyer-than-thow faces preaching their crap to everyone. They lie and deceive and exploite people for profit. They dont care about their guests or the effects of having their lives exposed to millions has on them, only the ratings they bring for the week. Their "therapists for hire" also deserve a good wack on the head. How can you psyco-analyze someone in an hours time? I dont think so! And the advice they give is obvious crap that anyone could come up with. And dont you just love the way Jerry Springer causes physical fights (which are the most fakest planned fights since the WWF) with his guests and then hides behind the women in the audience so not to get hurt? And how Sally Jesse Raphael gets her God complex and threatens her guests with her "power to put you away for a very long time"? Please. She loves to scream in people faces, and when the guests scream back her croanie body guards jump to her rescue. I'd love to see one of her guests get a hold of her and smack the taste out of her mouth. Now that would be worth watching! Just remember as they are preaching self love and unconditional acceptance of one another, they are one more face lift away from having to eat from the back of their heads. Cybertrip27--"@ Mike Harris He is an asshole, who forces his employees to the streets on a strike only to give them nothing but 3 more years of grief and turns around and gives himself and his asshole conseratives a big pay increase .... Fuck right off Mike Harris , i hope that you end up with a sickness that requires you to wait like the rest of us... would they leave your mother to die in a hallway because there wasn't enough nurses to take proper care of her??? no i don't think so ...they'd have HER looked after all right and anyone else in need it doesn't matter because your the only fucker left with money after you scape thelife out of the average person out there. YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE , GOLF PRO MIKE , IF ANYONE IN THIS PROVINCE DESERVES A SLAP ITS YOU YA KNOB burge2@hotmail.com Jim Davidson For being a wife-beating racist, sexist homophobe and for taking 500,000 pounds of licence payers money a year from the BBC. miles People who throw cigs out of car windows I bike to school and it's bad enough having to dodge those filthy Boston cabbies who hang their foul smelling butts out the window. But for those fuckwits who toss those flaming missles out the window with no regard to where or who they might hit: line 'em all up ... and WHACK!!!!!!! Teresa Tutt(tuttt@mit.edu) Keith Hellawell What a fucking muppet. di.lewis@btinternet.com Want more? Click here!

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